#which isn't actually healthy

[ronandhermy]

thinking about the fact that jack doesn't actually have any friends pre-samwell. or at least none that he keeps in contact with. so not only did jack ghost/cut out kent he also cut out EVERYONE on his previous teams, schools, etc. which is just...incredibly sad. and would be interesting to see explored in a fic of jack trying to make amends to those people because, guess what, jack is an addict. he didn't magically stop being an addict when bitty fell in love with him. he may be sober now but there are people like kent who jack owes apologies to

[geneticdriftwood]

on dick grayson & roy harper & marriage

I mostly stand by what I said here on the dickroy marriage poll (in short: lmao, they’d barely even admit they’re in a relationship) BUT after more thought I believe there actually is a world where they’d get married ‘for love’?

now, imo roy would never be the one to propose. marriage just isn’t that meaningful to him; it’s not something he really cares about. (and even if it was, proposing would feel like an ultimatum he doesn’t want to set. when everyone always leaves you, you learn to be careful not to ask for too much.)

and while I DO believe marriage means something symbolically important to dick, it’s a pretty fraught topic for him, given past experiences! so I think dick would resist putting labels on his relationship with roy, because acknowledging that there’s a romantic element to the way they love each other opens their relationship up to failing the way dick's past romantic relationships have failed.

but if they’d been in a stable relationship for a while, and dick had worked through some of his issues? well. so much of their relationship has been defined by leaving and being left, by other things getting in the way. so if they finally worked it out, I could see dick proposing as a promise to roy that he’s committed to roy and the life they’re building together. that he’s sticking around. that their relationship (that roy) is worth prioritizing!

and marriage might not mean much to roy, but he knows that dick takes it seriously. he knows that if dick is offering ‘till death do us part’ now—after working through his shit enough to be honest with himself—then dick means it. and that would be VERY significant to roy. it wouldn’t change anything about their relationship on the surface! but it would soothe the part of him that’s always bracing for abandonment, and let him believe that this is something he might get to keep.

they still wouldn’t have a wedding tho. they’d get courthouse married on a random afternoon with just them and a witness, and then probably not actually bother to tell anyone* unless asked directly, besides casually referencing it when quipping at each other.

*except donna. she knows because dick talked it through with her before proposing.

[daffythefox]

i feel like people say "abuse is always intentional and a choice" because it helps them believe that they haven't and will never abuse someone so long as they believe abuse is wrong.

Do you think every abuser woke up and thought "today I will abuse someone on purpose"? Probably some of them, but not all. Some abusers genuinely think that abuse is just how relationships work. Sometimes kids abuse other kids before they grow up and realize what they did was fucked.

If you decide that abuse means "person intentionally abusing another", what about people who were abused by people who weren't intentionally abusing them? Is that not real abuse?

I'm not saying that you shouldn't be angry at your abuser. I think you should be angry at whoever you want to be angry at. But I think looking back at your actions and checking "was what I did okay? how did my actions impact the people I love?" is very important, especially for people with NPD, where having issues understanding how your actions impact others is a symptom.

Having NPD makes forming and maintaining healthy relationships way harder. I would know. It's also way harder to control emotional outbursts while you're having one (and emotional permanence issues mean once you stop having one, it's hard to imagine what it felt like).

Introspection about why you did the things you did, if/how you hurt someone you care about, trying to make it up to them, and minimizing the chances that it will happen again, are very important. In "npd abuse" spaces, this introspection is usually shut down by "well, if you think you might be a narcissist, you're not one". But I think this introspection can be very helpful, so long as the introspection doesn't begin and end with guilt/shame.

[misscammiedawn]

I think at a certain point in one's healing journey they reach a point where they feel like they have become boring and uninteresting because they are no longer Activated all of the time and dealing with external or internal crisis.

The hard part is to internalize that this is just a normal part of the healing cycle and not something which requires dramatic action.

This is a crap feeling. But it means getting better.

[kariachi]

Just cannot forget that the show had a whole romantic subplot about Kevin being interested in Gwen but not up to making a move and just, never bothered with why. The issue at play was never actually addressed. Instead we just get a steady stream of Kevin not making a move despite his interest, while Gwen pushes him to make a move, and then Gwen finagles a move out of him and the show just, carries on like there was never something keeping him from making a proper move in the first place.

The closest we get is in the third season of AF, where we get a nice look at his mental health issues including some nasty self-worth issues, but even then the focus is less on 'wow Kevin is having A Time and this shows us some things about his character' and more as 'and here's how his response to his situation is affecting Gwen'.

Even in the fandom I've seen it treated more like a case of Kevin being whiny and selfish over nothing, like it didn't lead to him teaming up with Darkstar- something the heroes only ever do otherwise when in desperate need of help dealing with an actual and immediate threat to life.

Just, if you're going to base your drama around something, at least actually fucking resolve or acknowledge the cause of the issue, rather than just brushing it under the rug once you're bored with it.

[ophanim-vesper]

Sonic OCs rhghrhghgbhrghhbfhb

(these first drafts above were pretty much traced from the official Sonic Adventure art by Yuji Uekawa. This was to practice the Sonic artstyle) Holly (red deer character) and Majesty (purple dragon) are an odd couple, consisting of a jovial shapeshifter and a greedy dragon who breathes noxious gas. The two combine their skills to raid villages and towns, adding to Majesty's ever-growing pile of gold. When Majesty hears of the elusive 'Chaos Emeralds', the wealth-hungry dragon stops at nothing to add the precious jewels to his dragon hoard. [More information about each character under the cut]:

Holly is an unknown creature often resembling a deer, but can shapeshift into any species she likes. She can even mimic their abilities, but only physical traits; she cannot copy others' supernatural abilities. (i.e. she can copy Sonic's quills as a defense mechanism, but cannot mimic his speed). She was outcasted numerous times in the past, as she tried to mimic other species in order to fit in. They all disowned her after discovering her true nature as a shapeshifter. When she met Majesty, the only person who did not outright reject her, she immediately became attached. Now she works as his loyal minion, but really, she's the one who does all the hard work.

Majesty is a dragon, a rare species able to breathe toxic gas. One whiff could prove lethal, while his venomous saliva is potent enough to burn through metal. Abandoned as a hatchling, Majesty made his name as a ferocious dragon not to be messed with. He terrorizes any village he finds, raiding their wealth and food to take back to his cave, accumulating his 'dragon hoard'. His goal is to prove himself as the most powerful being on Mobius. When he learns of precious jewels able to grant one infinite power, why, what kind of dragon would he be if he didn't pilfer them for himself?

[heymacy]

💛

[walker-lister]

I just have to remind myself sometimes that no matter what anyone else says, the way a piece of media makes me feel and the positive impact it has had on my queer identity is valid, and that tearing myself apart thinking I have to defend it or questioning my own place within queer communities is not at all important when compared to the almost tangible sense of 'rightness' that piece of media helped me to feel about myself.

[ariel-s-awesome]

Hater and Peepers both commit food crimes on a regular basis. And they're appalled at what the other eats.

Wander and Sylvia are normal.

[monodramatic-cannibal]

Posting times

So I've been trying to post every 2 days. But I won't be doing that anymore. I will be posting art whenever I want too now. So if that means one bit of artwork every month then so be it. I will probs still post random rambles now and then, but in terms of both artwork and asks, I will be posting whenever I want too.

I had made a post that talked in detail for the reason behind this choice. But deleted it before I posted it. Deciding it's just better to leave the detailed ass post to get cast to the side for something more simple. (very simple explanation in the tags thou, since I do feel like I owe at least a little bit of an explanation)

I will also be limiting my interactions with the Utau fandom, I will still be around, but the Utau fandom moves way too quick for me lol.

I'm going to be trying to focus on making more drawings that are fully rendered, rather than the lineart + flat colour (and very basic shade) that I tend to do on this blog. And I also want to post other fandom content for my other fandom blog (that was made before this one. And it's a JJBA blog)

Since I won't be around as frequently I don't mind moots tagging me in any posts they want me to see. Since I am not checking as frequently I may miss a post/artwork.

Reblogs are turned off for this post, as I don't really want it being reblogged anywhere else. I don't mind anyone leaving a comment or something talking about their experiences, or any tips on what they do to help themselves (see tags for a very simple explanation ((small tw for mental health if you look in the tags)))

May also delete this post at some point, idk when that will be thou if at all.

[astraea-linden]

"That villainous/morally ambiguous character only changed their ways so that they could get with their love interest, they aren't actually a good person and therefore their relationship is toxic" has become such an umbrella statement that is used to describe literally any ship in which one character started out evil and toxic, only to gradually change as a result of their love of their romantic counterpart, and it's kinda tired tbh. Because there is such a major difference between "You make me a better person" and "You make me want to be a better person" that is getting ignored, and while one of these is definitely unhealthy, I don't see anything wrong with the other.

"You make me a better person" is what I would consider to be the toxic version of these relationships, because the morally ambiguous character is placing all of the responsibility for any misdeeds they commit on their significant other. "You weren't around to be my moral compass, therefore I killed people, so it's your fault." "If you leave me, I'm just going to go back to doing bad things." It's very manipulative and plays on the guilty conscience of the morally good character in order to prevent them from leaving. This usually ends up with said good character believing that they are needed by the villain and results in them staying. There are instances in which this is presented as a good thing, which it's not, and I fully understand criticizing these sorts of dynamics.

On the flip side, "You make me want to be a better person" is actually one of my favorite relationship dynamics, because it involves actual accountability and growth for the morally ambiguous character. There's something really beautiful about someone who has been so horrible for a good chunk of their lives, only to meet one person and have their entire worldview changed. They see their goodness and not only feel inspired to change, but actually go about doing so because they want to feel worthy of their affections. I'm not sure how or when that got conflated with "they're only changing so they can get in (insert character)'s pants," but it's really a shame, because there are some really amazing ships that align with this trope that get torn to shreds because people can't differentiate between the positive and negative variations. I want to see characters grow and change, and if falling in love is their ultimate reason for doing so, what exactly is so wrong with that?

[shiverhohojiro]

I think Three and Eight. My guys. They actually glued onto each other in the immediate week-ish following Octo Expansion in a very desperate 16 year old way that also blew up in their faces within the next week, and they then spent the next few months avoiding each other. And during that time (/during their reintroduction to each other) they beat their inner agents and after that everything kind of normalized and they got back together in a much healthier way.

[rotisseries]

i just think tbosmaucu nate fighting DEMONS trying not to have a crush on drako just to finally cave at the cost of his dignity and briefly forgetting this is an heir to the harasaeon dynasty so he has to sign an nda. it’s very specific and funny to me. i can picture it vividly

ALADJFJS OK YEAH

"ok. ok FINE I'm into him. what the fuck"

*zayda immediately swanning in with a massive nda heavy enough she could knock him out with it*

[cypheragent]

"you aren't very EMPATHETIC to detransitioners! ☹️" yeah dude. that was kinda the whole point of the post. try again

[unnamed-atlas]

Having brain worms. What if uhhhhhh SOS Mianite au

[irregularbillcipher]

"if you think that kryptos was from flatland and you believe bill genuinely cared about him, meaning he had some fort of actual human connection to another flatlander, why did bill still end up destroying the place? wouldn't kryptos trying to stop him have either made him reconsider his actions, or made him get rid of kryptos entirely?" well you see when bill was burning flatland, kryptos was whooping and hollering and breaking out the champagne