#which is. fine. ig. security is hard to come by in life and whats a little pretending

[zhuzhee]

rant ahead lmao but uh. its bizarre realizing

ive molded my whole persona after one person thinking they were the ideal human being and the epitome of success. and me not thinking. oh this Probably isnt very healthy and will cause me anxiety down the line. and said person i was molding myself after probably meant well but also got a certain satisfaction from someone that just nodded after any idea they thought was worthwhile pursuing For Me and probably boosted their ego because there's a fine line between high self esteem and narcissism (because you need some narcissism if you're going to get far in this kind of field ig) and i thought i managed to escape narcissism in my life already but it turns out ive been living with another one all this time just makes this whole identity crisis of mine feel fucking weird but i know they genuinely do love me and want the best for me and are well meaning its just that theyve pretty much carved out who i am from the get go and im sure they're aware of that

[twistedyapping]

my 2 favorite lyrics of all time

i almost started yapping on my ig story again and then caught myself so im here now-

i saw sumn earlier it was one of those "pick a song that starts with the first initial of ur name" and i got excited bc i got the song with my one of my favorite lyrics of ever in it- seen it all by korn

so here are my 2 favorite lyrics ur honor:

AND!

and what's interesting abt these two and what i caught myself abt to yap abt, is that they both come from very different eras in my life and therefore take on entirely new meanings to me- Which ya is what song lyrics are kinda supposed to do But this is just interesting 2 me-

so turbulent was the first one- heard that shit when i first listened to fandom and i was like Oh my god that is so fucking tight- and to this day it's one of my favorite parts in the song-

"you gave me hell on earth and said 'Work with it'" hit so hard for me though bc hi. my chiron is in aquarius. That's the short astrology answer but this ain't my astrology blog so what's the yapfest reason-

my entire life ur honor i have gone thru failed friendship after failed friendship, and somehow all of them managed to be with incredibly shitty people that quite literally gave me hell on earth and said work with it.

most, if not all of those friendships died off and crashed and burned along the way like an extremely elaborate dumpster fire- and it got to the point where i thought i would just never have real friends. i still think that, especially rn, but im workin thru it, it's fine 😵‍💫

the most heartbreaking part of that is the fact that since i was a wee lad i have always just wanted a group of friends to hang out with, a group that i felt secure in and nobody was out to get each other, nobody had a lack of respect for each other based on incredibly petty things, etc. always wanted that from the day i was born. And god looked me dead in the eyes and told me "LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO in what world."

perhaps this one in the future, idk, but that's where this lyric comes from. almost everyone (there being legitimately 1 exception) i have ever met has given me hell on earth and said to work with it.

now we get to the seen it all era of my life.

this is the era of my life that i am in currently where i feel like i have indeed seen it all- where all that hurt and betrayal and near-giving up on life experiences have culminated into just. life experience.

the era of my life where, using the life experience i have gained through all that absolute hell fire, i fix shit.

am i broken rn, not really, i used to be tho- But when i was broken i managed to fix myself enough to be Not broken so u can argue i guess But!!!

weird shit keeps happening in my life and i manage to keep it together now. i have done the most tedious soul searching work, i have forced myself into the depths of my mind that i really would've rathered to not go into but i did anyway for funsies, and i have figured shit out. i have found who i am, and understood that it will always change, that i am holding onto something that is never stagnant and my grip must constantly change to keep up with it, otherwise i will fall and die.

and with all of this, even though it sounds like im giving myself plenty rn, i never give myself enough credit. i been THRU IT and yet i am constantly like "Ya no it wasn't that bad tbh."

logically i can understand that i have been through a lot more than like. a born rich white guy has. But i have like no past life event permanence or something and i have to be actively thinking abt what ive gone thru in order to understand Oh ya that was. Not great.

but when im actively thinking abt it like rn, i understand that IVE SEEN IT ALL- STILL CANT TASTE ITTTTT- SMASHED TO THE WALL THAT BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEESSSS IVE DONE IT ALLLL FUCKED UP, WASTEDDDDDD- STILL IN MY BLOOD BUT NOW INSIDE IM SEENNNNN

now i am the broken one who fixed it. 💪💪💯🔥💪🔥💯🔥💪🔥💪💪🔥🔥💯💪 #stayhard 🔥💪🔥💯💪🔥🔥💯💪🔥💪🔥💪🔥💪🔥💯

anyway ya i needed to yap- that's abt it. see ya.

- 🌙 -

[theveil-and-thepath]

Hii hun<3 hope u r doing fine.

I'd like to know abt what type of person I am in real life... Coz ik and I feel I hv my walls up as my defense mechanism... Ig my inner child is highly wounded... I need healing n I'm working on it... I always feel like I hv put a mask over my real self for so long that it is getting hard for even me myself to recognise my true self... Can u plss help me to know abt the real real me(like both dark/shadow side and soft/spiritual side)

You can skip it tho if u want to~

Thankyou sm🤍

~SM

Hi, SM! I hope you're doing better now.

When I asked you question, the cards took a while to come out and the first one that came was the seven of pentacles. Then, I got the queen of pentacles and the two of cups. What comes to me is that you're someone who is looking for a solid ground to stand on, you're craving earth energy, something secure and certain. The things associated with the sign of Taurus make sense here, because you need a comforting environment to flow, to let your emotions show to others.

The shuffluing made me feel like it will be a long journey of self discovery, you won't see change quickly but only notice it when you look back some years and compare to how much you've changed. You're true self comes to me as someone who works at their own pace, taking solid steps, not wanting to build a house over sand. You won't open up to anyone because you feel like 'why bother, if they can leave or if our connection will lose importance and they won't care for my feelings, they will forget me, they think of this as fleeting thing'. You need to be shown tolkens of afection, shown real actions that make you feel safe and somewhat stable. Your true self needs something solid to develop, otherwise you feel like building castles in the air.

Your true self likes to protect people and care for them, you value a fair exchange of emotions and you don't want to settle for half of what someone can give you. The long quest you'll have in life is look for this safe place and at fisrt you will look for it in other people. The right people will come along, but to discover your true self you need to feel like you can trust in yourself to provode the things you need. You will keep trying your best to get away of old stressors and old trauma environments, this is how growing up feels like and trying to be mature and fighting to be able to determine your own fate (which is hard bc external circunstances often block us or delay this process). All of this can manifest in an unbalanced way, but if you stop for a second before acting you should be fine and be able to live at your best behaviour. I really don't feel bad things to say to you know, it looks like you can be balanced enough when looking for security and for people who value you as much as you value them.

One thing I do feel is hidden from you is your ability to renew yourself. You are awar of it I believe, but not to the extent you have it in you, you can change and your past will not leave a stain on you, don't see your past as stains that can't be erased, the past leaves a mark but try not to see it as an undesireble stain that you scrub out by force. Your favourite clothes can have holes and be well preserved, try not to see the past as a bad thing. You probably are in the right way already, so just take this message as a reinforcement.

Your real self will come out of its shell slowly, and you will build yourselves together, you have your entire life ahead.

p.s.: i'm listening to this very calm music right now and these days, i recommend it! (3:33 hours long music, mostly instrumental and some vocals)

Love,

Veil

[jingabitch]

Plugged Up

SUMMARY: Tae and Jimin return from the army, and you fulfill a promise made to Tae.

RATING: E

A/N: went on hiatus but almost immediately wrote this LOL. it got finished a lot earlier than I expected because my wifi went out for a couple of hours yesterday and I had nothing better to do.

Big thank you to my betas @knjkitten​ @astrobabezblog​ @xoxrinaxox (tumblr wont let me tag) for looking through this for me!

WARNINGS: implicit yandere (the verse is yandere, but this is a pwp so it’s not too apparent here) | smut | reunion sex | breeding kink | sloppy seconds | threesome (ig?)

WORD COUNT: 3.5k

series index

For Taehyung, the two years spent in the military were akin to hell. He was away from his brothers, his dog, his family and most of all, you. You were the sweet and soothing presence in his life who’d made being in the spotlight so much more bearable. It was less annoying and painful being in the spotlight, having to answer silly interview questions about his ideal type and his favourite line in every comeback single when he knew he could come home to you.

There was also the matter of the promise you’d given him right before all of them had left for the military. He thought about it in every spare moment he had, every night before going to bed, all the times that he spent sitting in the parade square with his company waiting for something or other, every time you’d come to visit, or he’d had a weekend off to come home and visit you. After all this time and energy spent thinking about it, the anticipation was killing him.

By some strange twist of fate, he and Jimin are being discharged on the same day and coming straight home to you. The logistics of having you at their discharge ceremonies, especially with all the cameras and people, were too difficult, so you’re at home waiting. His family came to pick him up and take him back to Seoul, and he feels bad, but he’s never been so uninterested in spending time with them in his life.

When they finally drop him off at the dorms, he’s just about vibrating out of his skin in excitement, something his family chalks up to seeing the boys again, after all this time. And they’re right, kind of. It’s not even the half of it. He doesn’t let them come into the dorms, spouting some bullshit about how it’s late and he’ll be fine, that they should just get home safely.

He bursts out of the lift onto his floor in excitement, his giant army pack no deterrent for him as he makes a beeline for the dorm. You’re right on the other side of the front door, he knows, and the second that it takes the electronic lock to recognize his thumbprint feels like an age. When he finally hears the jingle that means the door is unlocked, he pushes it open so forcefully that it bangs against the wall. Jumping at the noise, he feels a bit like a fool until he catches sight of you, standing in the hallway staring at him with wide eyes.

It’s not like you hadn’t seen him for the entire time he’d been away, but it had been a couple of months since his last day off, and you’ve missed him so much. You want to take in how good he looks in his army uniform from a distance, but more than that, you need to hug him now, and you take off, sprinting towards him at full speed.

With instincts honed by years of being with you, he takes a step into the apartment, drops his backpack carelessly on the ground and opens his arms to catch you. When you’re close enough, you take a running leap and wrap your arms and legs around him, pressing your lips onto his urgently. Taehyung doesn’t miss a beat as he wraps his arms around you securely, kissing you back with all the pent-up desire and love that he’d been holding on to. He doesn’t bother taking off his shoes as he kicks the door shut blindly then slams you against the wall, the feel of your tongue sliding against his, making his belly tighten.

“That was quite an entrance.” Jimin comments from behind you, standing on the edge of the genkan, his toes curling over the step. Taehyung turns to regard his friend, letting up on you so that you can put your feet back on the ground. You smile as you watch the two friends’ reunion, Taehyung closing the gap between them to hug Jimin. He’s so much taller that even though he’s standing in the genkan, they’re about the same height, and it’s adorable.

Taehyung and Jimin hadn’t seen each other in over a year, because for some reason their breaks never coincided with each other, so you don’t take it personally that they seem more excited to see each other than either of them had been to see you. After a long hug they finally separate; still smiling at each other sappily and you skip over, taking their hands in yours.

Jimin cocks a brow at you, smirking as he strokes the back of your hand with his thumb. “This one here’s been excited for you to get back.” he tells Taehyung, who grins at you rakishly in response. It appears that he hadn’t been the only one excited for your reunion.

You whine in embarrassment and step out of the genkan, burying your face in Jimin’s shoulder. "You said we couldn’t start until Tae got back!” you protest, voice half-muffled.

“Start what?” Taehyung asks interestedly, although it’s obvious he knows the answer already. It’s written all over Jimin’s ruffled hair and the pretty flush on your cheeks and going down your neck, disappearing into the neckline of the babydoll that’s barely staying on your body. One of the straps hangs off your shoulder, causing the neckline to droop dangerously.

The clear intent to which Taehyung stares at your breasts almost spilling out of the babydoll soothes your ruffled feathers somewhat. You know he’s been thinking about this – the dirty texts and calls had been increasing in both frequency and intensity as his discharge date inched closer.

About six months ago, you’d gone to have your IUD removed, and Taehyung had, of course, been the most excited of your boys about it, fussing over you as much as he could from the military base where he was stationed. He had sent his assistant over with samgye-tang, even though you were completely fine and could order your own food if you needed it. It had still been nice though, and you always felt loved and cared for by Taehyung, even when he couldn’t be with you in person.

Since then, however, the knowledge of what he was going to do once he got back from his military service has been there in the background in every single one of your interactions. Taehyung, like all the other boys, knows about your cycle in intimate detail and pulled strings to make sure that he would get back from the military just in time to catch your ovulation window. Initially his discharge date was two weeks later, however; you would be on your period, and that was just… wholly unacceptable.

He and Jimin are the first ones to be discharged, which means that breeding you will be their privilege. The knowledge darkens Taehyung’s gaze as he eats you up with his hungry gaze.

“Tae…” You whine impatiently, clenching your thighs together. You are turned on beyond bearing now, seeing the intense gaze he trains on you, his hand tightening over yours. At his request (order?) you’d avoided touching yourself for at least a month now, and Jimin, who arrived home a couple of hours ago, had teased you without relief for ages.

“What’s wrong, love?” Taehyung asks, sliding into the persona that he wears so well in the bedroom. He might be a cute and cuddly puppy most of the time, but both you and Jimin know that when it comes to sex, he’s in charge.

“I missed you.” You pout, tugging on his hand.

“I’m here now.” He teases, grinning at your obvious need.

“Tae…" You whine, pulling harder, and he chuckles at you this time.

“I need to take off my shoes.” He tells you, and you drop his hand so he can unlace his boots. Standing right behind Jimin with your chin propped on his shoulder, your hands slide under his shirt, greedily feeling up his abs. The army had been good for him and his body, you think. They fed him well and worked him hard, and he looks so much healthier now than he was when he left. Watching absently as Taehyung fiddles with his shoes, you sneakily dive your hand into Jimin’s sweatpants to grope him, knowing he’s already hard and waiting for you.

Unfortunately, right before your hand closes around his dick, Jimin lets out a breathy laugh and grabs your wrist, pulling your hand away from him. “Be patient, love.” He chastises, despite your pout. Taehyung, stepping out of his boots, grins at Jimin. You miss the look they share completely, distracted by the feeling of Jimin’s body under your hands. Taehyung knows, though, why Jimin stopped you. It’s uncharacteristic of the smaller man, since he’s usually a complete hedonist and takes his pleasure where he can get it.

Tonight, though, is different. Taehyung and Jimin had agreed to abstain for the past month, to increase their chances of success. It means they have nice, thick loads for you. It also means that both of them are working on a hair trigger. After teasing you, listening to you moan and beg for him for over an hour, Jimin is having a difficult time reining himself in. He’s determined to cum inside you and nowhere else.

When Taehyung finally steps out of his boots and away from the genkan, you reattach yourself to him like a limpet, something he’s only too happy to indulge. He picks you up off the floor entirely and hurries to his bedroom, Jimin trailing behind. Feeling your soft, warm body against his after so long of not seeing you… it’s nothing short of torturous, and he can’t wait to be inside you.

He drops you almost unceremoniously on the bed, but one bounce later you’re surging back up on your knees to attack the buttons on his uniform. It’s complicated though, and with the way your fingers are clumsy from eagerness and arousal, it takes you way too long to figure it out. So, with a chuckle, Taehyung pulls your hands away from his shirt and gets to work stripping himself off.

You sprawl out on the bed, watching with a hooded gaze as he shrugs out of his uniform shirt with practiced ease… Only to find another shirt underneath. With a growl of impatience, you sit back up to pull the shirt off him, while Taehyung just laughs delightedly at how impatient you are.

Jimin chuckles along while sitting in a comfortable chair. That's his usual spot for when he watches you and Taehyung. Usually he would stroke himself while waiting for his turn, but tonight he thinks it best to keep his hands off his junk. Watching your reunion with Taehyung is more than enough to keep him hard anyway.

Getting you out of your skimpy lingerie is far easier than getting Taehyung’s top off had been – one rough yank is enough to send the babydoll flying over your head, and Taehyung tugs so hard on the thong you were wearing that one of the hip seams rips against your thigh, something that neither of you pay attention to. Once you’re naked, you wrap your arms around Taehyung’s neck and pull him down onto the bed insistently.

With one hand bracing his weight and his other working the fastening on his pants, Taehyung can’t stop kissing you. It’s deep, filthy and wet, only a lewd promise of what’s to come. With his trousers finally undone, he crawls onto the bed, clad in just boxers. It’s something you’re not used to – Taehyung usually prefers going commando – but the army uniform doesn’t really allow for that. You hook your fingers in the waistband of his boxers to take them off, leaving them around his thighs as you grab his dick and start stroking.

“Fuckkk,” Taehyung swears against your lips, his brows drawing together. Urgently, he pushes your knees apart, his long fingers diving eagerly into your wet cunt. After all this time, he knows he needs to be careful to stretch you out properly, or it’ll hurt, but God if slowly fingering you open isn’t the hardest thing he’s ever had to do when all he wants is to be buried inside you.

With his thumb circling your clit, he gently pushes two fingers into you, pumping them in and out then scissoring them slowly. You shudder, moan and whine, clawing at his back and shoulders, begging incoherently for him to just stop teasing and fuck you already, dammit. He refuses to give in, even though you can feel him grinding his hips against your thigh and the kisses and bites he lavishes on your neck get rougher and less controlled.

When he finally deems you ready to take him, he is as much of a mess as you are. his muscles jumping sporadically under his skin and his jaw clenched. Words seem to be beyond him as he takes his hot length in his hand, rubbing the tip against your pussy to get it nice and wet.

Now that you’re about to get what you want, you calm down, docile under the weight of his body as you press kisses to his jawline. Your legs bracket his hips and you stroke his sides soothingly, feeling the tremors of his body. He exhales a series of curses as he pushes in, pressing his forehead against yours.

“You’re so goddamn tight, fuck.” He grinds out. He reaches down with one hand to rub your clit, and you clench down on him in response as you shiver in pleasure. All the while, he’s slowly inching in, until finally he bottoms out with a groan. “Missed you so much, baby. I’m gonna breed you so good, and then Jiminie is going to do the same,” he coos at you. “Do you like that? We’re gonna get you nice and pregnant.” He grunts as he begins thrusting in earnest.

Jimin finds that he has no choice but to squeeze the base of his dick as hard as he can to avoid cumming untouched at the way you wail as Taehyung pounds into you, finally letting go of all the pent-up stress of the past two years. Being away from his brothers and from you, having to tell so many lies to his platoon mates and the media about him being single – all of it had taken a toll on him that he’s now taking out on you.

For your part, you absolutely adore it, attempting to pull him deeper into you with your legs wrapped around his hips, leaving long scratches down his back from how good it feels.

“Such a good girl for us, aren’t you?” Taehyung pants. “Gonna fill you up so good, and then Jiminie is going to do the same.” He says, looking up at Jimin who’s watching intently. At first, you’d wondered if Jimin ever felt left out from having to watch you with Taehyung, but he thrives on it. While they were in the military, he’d gotten the chance to be with you alone during his breaks, and he’d never gone as crazy as he does when fucking someone else’s cum out of you.

You tilt your head to squint at Jimin, but your vision is slightly blurred from tears. As Taehyung continues pounding into you, you try your best to smile at Jimin, wanting him to feel included too. You can’t see very well, but you know he recognizes your gesture.

It doesn’t take too long for you to reach orgasm after being denied for so long, and as you cum, you clench down hard on Taehyung. “Fuck, you feel so good.” He pants, pressing his face in your neck as he buries himself as deep into you as he can get.

“I love you so much.” He groans, releasing his massive load deep into you. You stroke the back of his neck as you feel his cum spilling inside you, painting your insides white. He slumps on top of you after that, his bigger body blanketing yours, and you hug him close.

“Jiminie." You call softly, holding your hand out to the other man. He comes over to you, brushing your hair off your face affectionately.

“What is it, jagiya?” He asks, smiling down at you.

“I love you too." You tell him sweetly.

He leans down to kiss you. “I know.” He says smugly, and you roll your eyes at him.

He then moves to kiss Taehyung, slowly, lazily. When they break away, Taehyung pulls himself off you and grabs a pillow from above your head, stuffing it under your hips.

“You have to be careful,” he instructs Jimin. “Or else it’ll all come out.”

“I know, I know.” Jimin waves him off, kneeling between your spread legs on the bed. He leans over you, and you giggle as you loop your arms around his neck.

“Did you enjoy Taehyung, jagiya?” he asks. You nod in response, your gaze darting towards Taehyung for a moment before you look away with a slight blush.

“Do you feel up to taking me tonight?” Jimin says next, his fingers brushing over your used pussy. It’s all a bit – you both know that you’ll bite your lip, pretend to think about it, then accept coyly, and that’s exactly what you do.

The best part about going second, Jimin has found, is there’s absolutely no need for foreplay. He doesn’t need to stretch you out or worry about whether you’re wet enough, because Taehyung’s already taken care of that. Easing himself into you, with Taehyung’s cum as lubrication, is another way for him to feel close to his best friend, even as he makes the most intimate connection there is with you.

“Jiminie.” You coo at him as you tighten your arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. As turned on as Jimin is, he likes to start slow, building it up and making it last.

“Baby.” He responds with equal amounts of affection, brushing his nose against yours as he starts a slow, steady rhythm.

“I missed you.” You sigh. “You always fuck me so good.” Jimin responds well to compliments, so you make sure to keep up a steady stream, kissing him softly, stroking his sides and back, telling him how good his cock feels inside you. It’s not a lie – Taehyung is big, but Jimin is just a little girthier, and the stretch burns pleasantly as he thrusts into you.

“Ah jagiya, you’re always so good to me.” He moans, speeding up a little. Despite Taehyung’s warning, you can feel his cum squelching out of you, making a mess of both you and Jimin. He probably won’t like that, but it’s a nice feeling, and you hug Jimin closer to you. He doesn’t last long either, but makes sure to get you there first, angling his thrusts so that his pelvis bumps against your clit as he reaches that magic spot inside you with the tip of his cock. He remembers that article he read that said the chances of conception are higher when women orgasm, and redoubles his efforts to make you cum.

After so many years together, he knows your body like the back of his hand, and you find yourself falling apart under his expert ministrations. Almost against your will, you feel yourself tightening around Jimin, broken gasps escaping you as you begin climbing the peak again. You fall apart with a shudder, and Jimin groans as he feels you clench hard on him. Finally, finally, he lets himself cum into you, driving in hard one last time before he spills with shuddering moans into your soiled pussy.

“I love you.” He gasps as he slumps over you bonelessly. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” He repeats, nuzzling into your cheek. Equally winded, you pat his back gently, your eyes seeking Taehyung’s.

He stretches out beside you and presses a kiss to your other cheek. “You did well tonight, love,” he praises. “You’re not done yet, though.”

Still a little addled, you don’t have the words to ask him what he means, but the inquisitive tilt of your head has him grinning at you as he holds a pussy plug in front of your face. “So you don’t let any out.” He explains, winking at you.

Jimin heaves himself off you with a grunt, lying flat on his back beside you. Taehyung takes his cue to sit up, pushing your knees apart so he can insert the toy. You fidget uncomfortably for a second, and he strokes your thigh gently. “Such a good girl." He says softly. “Just wanna make sure you keep it all in.”

You force yourself to lay still as he puts it in, then he lies back next to you, one arm flung across your waist. Jimin, on your other side, clings just as hard, and you let yourself drift off to sleep, knowing that round two is coming as soon as they get their breath back.

[karihighman]

Unexpected

yet another Upstead one-shot, as requested by @cpdhalstudfan​ 😋 so here goes nothing. prompt is below (from IG i believe):

“What the hell is your problem?!” Jay screamed after dusting himself off in the alleyway.

He and Hailey had been doing an undercover buy, when their main suspect came barreling through the small alley in a giant 4x4, right at Jay. 

Thankfully, Hailey knew the corner street from the alley, and literally threw herself at Jay to knock him down onto it. She knew it was a risk, as she was tiny in stature compared to her partner who stood at 6′ even, but she wasn’t about to let him have another near-death experience. 

“My problem? Are you kidding me? Jay, you were thisclose to becoming roadkill because of that maniac! You were lucky I pushed you out of the way!” She yelled back her response as she fixed her jacket, which thankfully cushioned her fall to the concrete. Well, that, and Jay’s rock-hard body. But Hailey couldn’t think about that right now. 

No, because right now the face that attached to said body was blazing anger, and it was all directed at her. His usually soft green eyes were darker, rage-filled even. The overcast clouds above them only served to intensify the effect. 

“I had it handled, Hailey. I didn’t need saving.” 

“Well, someone had to do something, since you obviously don’t give two shits about your own wellbeing–” 

He cut her off. “Me?! You can’t be serious right now, Hailey. You could’ve gotten yourself killed!” He’d taken a step forward, gesturing towards her when he said the second “you.” 

“–But I didn’t! And I just saved your life again, I might add. So, I believe the next words out of your mouth should be thank you.” 

It was her turn to take a step forward, as she mimicked his previous gesture on the second “your” that passed her lips. She swore she felt a raindrop hit her cheek, but she was distracted by Jay’s face. 

He had one of those looks in his eyes, the ones that held more meaning than his callous words would to her. It was the same look he gave her almost two years ago now, after his dad died and Voight made her take his keys and two-way radio. 

He was so incredibly pissed at her, and honestly, she didn’t blame him for it. Well, not until he uttered those words: the ones that cut her so deep that he may as well have pushed her like he looked like he intended to do. That would’ve hurt less than what he said next: 

No, you’re just projecting whatever daddy-daughter crap got you so screwed up. 

He scoffed, which brought her out of her own thoughts. She narrowed her eyes at him, waiting for him to say thank you, or better yet, apologize. He ran a hand through his hair, almost like he was contemplating what he was going to say. Hailey hoped it was the words she requested. 

“Sure, okay. Thank you, Hailey Upton...” She bit her lip to keep the corners from turning up into a smile when she realized he wasn’t done.

“...for being the most infuriating person in my life right now!” 

“What the hell, Jay? Huh? You have the audacity to be mad at me. Mad at me for doing what a partner is supposed to do. God, you know what? If anyone deserves to be mad, it’s me at you!” 

“Why? Why can’t you just let it go!” He asked. 

“Because you’re the one that’s being difficult. I don’t know if it’s like an ego thing, or if you’re just on edge, but whatever it is, you need to quit taking it out on me.” 

She had taken a few more steps towards him, even though she felt like it was pointless as their height difference gave him the advantage. It always did, but for whatever reason, they were standing closer than usual. 

Even so, she stared him down, trying to prove her point. She knew she was right, she was only waiting for him to realize that. Too bad he was just as stubborn – if not, more so – as she was, so he could play the stare game too. 

She was standing in such close proximity to him that she could hear his sharp breaths, and that his eyes were fiery, not muted and nice like normal. She felt like she could hear her own heartbeat in her ears, the pulses drowning out all the white noise. Or maybe that was the rain, as it had definitely begun to pour.

Normally, she’d be just fine with focusing solely on Jay, but not right now. Not in this moment. Because in this moment, she was tempted to do one of two things: smack him silly, or kiss him. Neither of which she figured would go over well. 

At least, she didn’t think. 

“I don’t have to do anything! If anyone needs to stop doing something, it’s you that needs to stop the overprotective partner shtick.” 

He raised his voice at her, but she didn’t back down. She wanted, no, needed to finish this fight with him. She was desperate for him to see her side of things because the only other time he came at her with the trust and security thing was with the Booth case. And that was about her; this was about him. 

“Well excuse me for caring about you, Jay!” 

“Why, Hailey? Why the hell do you care so much?!” He was undoubtedly yelling, so, adding fuel to the fire, albeit, unthinking, she yelled back. 

“Because I love you!” 

She didn’t gasp, or make any sound for that matter. She could only watch the teeniest tiniest changes happen on his facial features; the ones she could only see from this close up. 

Like how his pupils dilated, or how his lips parted ever so slightly, the same way they did all those weeks ago in the hospital. Well look at us now, she thought to herself. 

She saw his mouth open the slightest bit more, like he maybe, just maybe, was going to say something back. She was certain he uttered a sound, like an “I” or an “Uh”, but apparently she was too focused on her mouth moving faster than her brain to come up with a response to de-escalate things. Or make them more awkward, whichever. She didn’t have anything to lose anymore. 

“Yeah, I’m in love with you, you asshat. Don’t ask me why now because right now you’re obviously making me mad–” 

His lips were on hers before she could finish her sentence. She could still feel how soft they were even if they were drenched in rainwater (the idiot never wore his hood on his coat). She was in the midst of kissing him back when her foot slipped on the slick pavement, and she faltered a little. 

In all his pent-up aggression, he’d pushed her against the brick wall of the alleyway, where of course, it was slippery. Another thing she could get mad at him for. Later, Hailey, much much later...

They broke apart, laughing lightly at the predicament, but also looking at each other in awe of what actually occurred. They kissed. In the rain. 

“I, um,” she couldn’t quite put her words together anymore. She was dizzy with him. 

“I, um, love you too, Hailey.” He said, his lips curving into his famous half smirk. The one that made her want to roll her eyes, but instead she had a better idea. 

She kissed him again. 

Aaaaaand didn’t hesitate to playfully blame him for them getting colds later in the week. Damn rain. It was worth it though. So very worth it. 

[moonlitdesertdreams]

Judgement Call (Din Djarin x OC)- Chapter XVIII

CHAPTER XVIII: IMPROBABLE

They departed for Nevarro as soon as possible. Kuiil had pursuaded Din to allow IG-11 and the Bluurg aboard, both which surprised Zakia to no end. She was endlessly amused by the Mandalorian's body language as Kuiil brought his own crew aboard.

Zakia was in charge of the controls for the first part of their journey, and she lifted them off of Arvala-7 and into hyperspace with ease. She climbed from the pilot's chair and clambered below deck, kicking off her boots as she neared the cargo hold. The Child cooed at her appearance, but was more focused on the sight across from him.

Mando and Cara were seated across from each other, a crate in between them as a makeshift table. Their palms were facing each other's, and Cara counted down from five before they clasped hands. Zakia laughed at them, placing herself behind Mando as the arm wrestling competition got underway. Both parties grunted with the effort, but Zakia could see Mando's arm wavering.

"I've got you, Mando." Cara managed, hair falling over her face.

The Mandalorian was right behind her teasing. "Care to double the bet?"

Zakia cocked a brow. "I don't know if that's a smart idea, honey."

"The peanut gallery needs to hush." Mando snapped playfully.

Zakia huffed a laugh, watching both sides struggle to victory. As Cara pushed the Mandalorian's arm further down, her arm twitched and she hesitated. Zakia was focused on tha table, and wasn't paying attention when she spoke up.

"What's with the reluctance, Ca- Cara? Cara?"

The shock-trooper suddenly jerked away from their match, both hands coming to grip at her throat. She choked, unable to get any words out. Zakia gripped Din's shoulder.

"What is-"

"No! No, no, no!" Din scrambled out of his seat, darting over to the bassinet.

Zakia watched in horror as the Child sat with one hand outstretched, fingers balled into a tiny fist. It was obviously the source of Cara's peril.

"Stop! We're friends, we're friends!" Din shook the Child once, and Cara sucked in a breath. Zakia rushed to the Child, catching Kuiil's eye as she did so.

"Cara is my friend!" Din was still yelling towards the Child when Zakia approached.

"That is not okay!" Cara yelled when she got her breath back.

Zakia stared wide-eyed at Mando. "He froze me the other day. You think his power is growing?"

Mando shook his head, shoulders heaving. "I don't know."

"Hm. Very curious." Kuiil interjected, coming to stand next to Zakia.

"Curious? It almost killed me!" Cara exclaimed, weakly lunging out of her seat.

"The story you told me of the mudhorn now makes more sense." Kuiil ignored Cara's hostility,

"What is it?" Zakia asked, searching the Ugnaught's face for answers. "He did this to me yesterday. Not choking, but he used this power."

"What it is, I don't know. But what it does, this... this I've heard rumors of." Kuiil tapped the Child's head carefully. Zakia took him from Din, though didn't coddle him as usual.

"What? When you worked for the Empire?" Cara spat, still clutching at her neck. Zakia whirled on her at the comment.

"We are currently running from the Empire!" The blonde said.

Kuiil held up a hand. "When I was sold to the Empire, in indentured servitude."

Cara managed to stand. "Yet somehow, you walk free."

Din tugged Zakia back towards him, and the Child squeaked. It could obviously sense the growing tension in the ship. "Stay out of it."

Zakia set her jaw and nodded, but didn't argue. It was no use making enemies with their allies.

"I bought my freedom through the skill of my hands. And the labor of three of your human lifetimes." IG-11 stepped into the room then, causing all of the occupants, sans Kuiil, to turn. "Do not cast doubt upon that of what I am nor whom I shall serve."

Cara didn't respond to him, eyes fixed on IG-11's still form. The cylindrical head spun once, but made no other move. Din managed to break the tension, stepping forward and nudging Zakia with him.

"Tell you what. I could really use your craftwork right now. Can you pad this container so the Child can sleep better?" The Mandalorian tenderly lifted the Child from Zakia's arms and placed it in the bassinet.

Kuiil gave the container a quick once-over. "I shall fabricate a better one. Then perhaps this Dropper can see how one can win their freedom with the skill of one's hands."

Din nodded, and reached for his partner. "Excuse us for just a moment."

"I'll be up top." Cara told them.

Zakia nodded before following Din to their small quarters. "What's wrong?"

Din waited until the door slid shut. "Have you seen him do it before?"

"The Child? Not until he stopped me yesterday." Zakia replied, leaning against the edge of their bed. "Why?"

"Just wanted to be sure. If something happens on Nevarro, I don't want him trying to attack." Din rubbed at the back of his neck.

"You're tired." Zakia observed, taking a few steps to close the gap between them. "Have you not slept since our nap before Sorgan?"

He shook his head. "No time."

"You can't govern your life on time, Din. You know this." Zakia tried her best to be reassuring, but the coming events hung over their heads like an anvil ready to fall.

"I can't let anything happen to you," Din looked up, "to the Child."

Zakia smiled, pressing into his chest. She wrapped a single arm around his torso, fingers knotting together in his cloak. Din's arms fell to wrap around her shoulders, and he tipped his helmet to rest in her hair. Zakia reached behind him to swat the lightswitch, and darkness enveloped them. Even with her eyes open as wide as they would go, there were no shapes or colors visible.

Din had beaten her to the punch for her next actions; Zakia heard the pneumatic hiss of his helmet's release before she could lift her hands. He leaned to the side to set it on their bed, and returned to her arms shortly thereafter. She closed her eyes when his nose nuzzled into her hair, moving gently down until he rested in the crook of her shoulder. Zakia brought a hand up to rake through his hair, dropping a kiss where she could reach.

"We should go above deck." He muttered into her shirt.

"I'm sure Cara won't mind if you take a minute to recover." Zakia stroked the hair at his nape, smiling when she felt his lips against her neck. She leaned back, and sighed when his lips found hers.

"I love you." He said, nipping her bottom lip gently.

Zakia smiled against his mouth. "I know. I love you too."

After a lengthy conversation with Din about the Empire remnants on Nevarro, Cara had descended into the cargo hold to prep for their landing. Zakia was sitting cross- legged in the co-pilot's seat, and stood when they broke into Nevarro's atmosphere. Din imagined there was little left except the nub of her fingernails, as she had been gnawing on them since they left their quarters.

Din couldn't fight the fact that his anxiety was high when it came to this mission. If Karga was lying- which was likely- there were a lot of Guild members who would be happy to pull the trigger on him or Zakia. He was grateful when she rested her hand on his chair, waiting patiently for the ship to land.

"You ready?" He asked, standing from his seat once the landing gear was stable.

"Yeah. Are you?"

The Mandalorian stood to his full height, dwarfing his partner. "As I'll ever be."

They descended below deck, where Cara and Kuiil had already mounted their Bluurg. Standing at the ready near the ramp, Din pressed the release and helped Zakia onto theirs. Shaking off the week's events, he hauled a leg over the animal and pulled himself up. The Child was in its new bassinet, which was rather reminiscent of the original one they found him in.

Nevarro was exactly as Din remembered, with rocky ground and a generally desolate atmosphere. They were in the middle of the flats, with the small bazaar far away in the distance. Zakia had a hand resting on his hip, hidden beneath his cloak. The new rifle he had purchased during their time in Mos Eisley was strapped over her shoulder, as well as her dual blasters and a spare on her ankle. Zakia was armed to the teeth, and it sent a wave of reassurance through Mando as they faced their old colleague.

"Sorry for the remote rendezvous, Mando. But things have gotten complicated since you were last here." Greef Karga was flanked by three hunters, all of which Din was unfamiliar with. Nonetheless, they didn't exactly exude amicability. "It appears that introductions are in order."

None of them replied. They stood as one silent front, and the intimidation factor seemed to be working as Karga continued.

"It seems we've both provided a security detail." Greef sighed, and finally lifted his hand to point at Cara. "I recommend the shock-trooper guards the ship. These lava fields are lousy with Jawas."

Zakia's fingers squeezed through his clothes. "She comes with us." Din asserted.

"But the town is now run by ex-Empire. If a Rebel Dropper is with us, they'll all get their hackles up."

"She's coming." Zakia reiterated Mando's words, glaring around his body at Greef.

"Fine. Fine. At least cover your tattoo. No need to flaunt it." Karga opened his arms and made a hard left in conversation topics. "Now, where is the little one?"

Their alliance all traded looks before Mando deemed it their best move. He lifted his vambrace and punched in the bassinet's access code. The domed object hovered to Karga, and the lid separated to reveal the baby. Zakia's hand left his hip to rest over her blaster, and Mando maintained his position to conceal her.

"So this little bogwing is what all the fuss was about." Karga reached into the cradle, gingerly examining their charge. "What a precious little creature. I can see why you didn't want to harm a hair on its wrinkled little head."

The Child was lowered back into the bassinet, and Zakia's fingers slunk away from the blaster to return to Mando's hip.

"Well, I'm glad this matter will be put to rest once and for all." Their former boss set his hands on his hips as the cradle hissed and closed. Din turned the tether back on, and the pram floated back to their side. "The sun drops fast on Nevarro. We can walk for a spell, camp out at the riverbank, then make our way into town at first light."

After it was agreed upon, Karga and his men led the trio of Bluurg and their riders across the lava flats. It was much easier traversing the terrain on the animal's backs, and Din was thankful for Kuiil's insistence on bringing them. The atmosphere surrounding the group was tense, made even more so by the conspicuous glances Karga's lackies sent in Din's direction.

"They're going to try and kill us." Zakia's right hand was holding tightly onto Mando's cuirass, the other wrapping itself into his tunic. "Take the reward for themselves."

Din tipped his head to the side. "I know. They don't stand a chance."

The caravan continued on into in the night. True to Karga's word, they lost light fast. Zakia wished they would have made it closer to town, but supposed some distance between the Imperials and them wasn't a bad thing to have. Karga's help built a small fire, and one ventured off into the night only to return with a large slab of meat. Zakia wasn't keen on the unknown product, but sustenance was necessary for their trip.

Battle stories were not told around this campfire. Everyone sat silently, pretending to be relaxed. Each separate faction formed their own half-circle. Cara sat at the far end of theirs, then Kuii, the Child, Zakia, and Din. Karga formed the end of his group, though he sat a mere foot from the Mandalorian. Kuiil fed the Child, who squeaked happily upon each delivery. Zakia kept her eyes on the mangy-looking hunters across the fire, even when she lifted bites of meat to her mouth.

"Looks like the little bugger's a carnivore." Greef said, pointing a shaky finger at the Child. "Never seen anything like it. They were ready to pay a king's ransom for that thing. Must be for some kind of high-falutin' menagerie."

Zakia rolled her eyes, peering around Mando's body to look at their old boss. "You never did like silence, Karga."

Din remained focused on the fire, though Zakia knew his eyes were following every movement in the group. "Let's go over the plan again."

Karga sighed, and Zakia leaned back to prop herself onto her elbows.

"We both enter the common house. We show the client the bait. We join him at the table. And one of you kills him."

Zakia raised a brow, doing her best impression of a rabid lothcat while trying to gnaw on the tough meat they roasted. "And there's no reinforcements? Even if I'm stationed a couple hundred meters away, when he goes down..."

"They're all ex-Empire. As soon as they lose their paycheck, poof! They'll all scatter." Greef sounded unconcerned, but the Mandalorian was not convinced.

"What if they stick around?" Zakia asked, adjusting the rifle as it lay next to her.

"They won't"

"That's not good enough." Even modulated, his tone was clear.

"If- for argument's sake- a few of them don't realize that I'm their best path to alternative employment and they elect to react impulsively, then these three fine Guild hunters, along with that battle-hardened shock-trooper will cut down anyone who bucks. And I don't recall many getting past your partner in the past."

Finishing her piece of tough meat, Zakia reclined on the small bedroll until her back was lying in the dirt. She gazed up at the starless sky, watching as pale streaks of gray clouds passed over. Din continued to drill Karga on their plan. He assured the Mandalorian there would be no more than four guards - a fire team- with the Client.

Zakia blinked lazily, and tried to keep her body from trembling with anticipation. Her and Mando had yet to work out the precise details, but she was confident her partner would want her far away from the Imps. It would be easy to find a building with a clear shot into the Imperial hideout, but the hard part was remaining undetected. If Karga was right, the job would be simple. If he was wrong however, they were in for a long day.

Eyes searching for Din's familiar figure, Zakia tugged on his cloak so the others wouldn't notice. He shifted in a way that acknowledged her prod for attention.

"You okay?"

The helmet falling forward in the front was her only answer, and Zakia allowed her hand to remain on his cloak as she turned to the sky. The few clouds illuminated by Nevarro's dull moon were nothing more than wisps, so Zakia froze upon spotting an opaque shape move across her field of vision. She lifted her head sharply, trying to follow the shape. Blue eyes tracked across the darkness, and faintly picked up on another shape. This one was larger, and was flying from behind the other group towards the fire. Zakia thought it to be scavenger birds at first, but squinted when the shap seemed to pick up speed as it neared the group. Karga was about the reach the roasting hunk of meat when she called out.

"Greef, get down!" Zakia was just in time, as the beast swung down to steal the meat.

It was incredibly large, and the force of its pass knocked Greef from his feet. The Mandalorian ducked to the side, arm falling to the far side of Zakia's body. A screech prompted him to stay there, chestplate rhythmically ramming into Zakia's back until she elbowed him.

"We have to move, there's- more!" Zakia pushed against his cuirass, leaping to her feet as Cara began firing out shots from an automatic blaster. The Mandalorian and his partner wasted no time drawing their own weapons. Zakia slapped the button to close the Child's pram, allowing Mando and Kuiil to cover her as she turned her back.

It was far too dark to make sense of anything between the dust and darkness. The group's movements were lit only by the light of their fire and their blasters. Zakia had just got her bearings when Kuiil's shouts echoed across the flat plains.

"No, let go of her! Drop her now!" They were shouts of anguish, and Zakia was horrified to see the beasts lifting one of their Bluurg off the ground.

The group's blasts began to focus in on the offending creature, but it was long gone before they had a chance. A brief bout of silence followed, and Zakia offhandedly glanced to ensure the Child was safe.

SCREEECH.

Something heavy impacted Zakia's back with enough force to toss her to the ground. Her blaster tumbled from her hand, and she instinctively wrapped her arms around her exposed neck to protect it. More yelling and firing reached her ears, but she was glued to the rocky ground. Another body was tossed down next to her, and Zakia was battered with gusts of wind that whipped gravel into her face. Some part of her fuzzy brain recognized the clanking of Din's armor, and then the familiar feeling of his hand on her back. There was a blast of heat above her head, and Zakia tightened the arms protecting her neck.

"Zakia." The Mandalorian's voice was measured. Calm, but urgency pressed into his tone.

He had seen Zakia get knocked down. When one of Karga's hunters was swiped from safety, his legs took her feet from the ground as the beast flew away. Protecting herself was the best option at that point- these creatures were clearly smart.

"Is it over?" She still had her arms locked around her neck, and Din's helmet fell forward in relief.

"Yes. They're gone. You just got knocked down when one took off. You're fine." The Mandalorian wrapped his hands around her arms and hauled her up, allowing her a moment to get her feet back.

"Shit." She cursed, "I saw them coming, I just didn't know what they were." Her body moved almost thoughtlessly to the Child's cradle, where she pressed the lid release. Zakia's hands lifted the baby, holding him tightly to her chest. "It's alright, kiddo."

Mando took stock of the remaining group. Cara was lowering her blaster, and Kuiil looked rather distraught. But it was a groaning from his left that caught Din's attention. Karga was on the ground, clutching at his forearm. Zakia followed his gaze, tongue pressing against her teeth as they all approached.

Kuiil was the first one there, followed by Cara. Din and Zakia approached after, and the blonde shook her head as she looked into the corner of his visor. Greef's arm had four gashes in it, infection sizzling outwards like hot grease.

"Poison." Zakia set her jaw, kneeling beside Kuiil.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine." Karga protested their doting until Zakia pressed on a tender spot. "Ow!"

"Hold still." Cara ordered. "They got you good"

Zakia let Cara take over the care, unsure of how to proceed. She had bandaged Din up more times than she could count, but poison was something she had never experienced. The shock-trooper fumbled in her belt, withdrawing a small med pack with a long needle. She gave Karga the first infusion, eliciting a wheeze from the injured party.

"How bad?" The Mandalorian asked, leering over Cara's shoulder.

"Bad." Cara confirmed. "The poison is spreading fast."

Greef squeezed his eyes shut, breathing heavily in measured bouts to maintain his composure. "So… this is how it happens?"

Cara, ever the lifesaver in these situations, looked at the Guild agent. "Don't be so dramatic." She looked to the other hunters. "I need another medpac! Got any other medpacs?"

A chorus of shaking heads later, the air grew tense. Zakia shifted uncomfortably, hands pawing aimlessly at the Child's robes. Normally a stoic figure, she found herself perturbed at Karga's situation. As if sensing her discomfort, the baby in her arms shifted, wiggling wildly in an attempt to leave her arms.

"Hold on." Zakia leaned down to allow the Child to stand on the ground. Knowing he had a tendency to hover within reach of the Mandalorian, she let her eyes wander back to Cara.

"It's still spreading. This isn't working." Cara held the med scanner in one hand, and paused when the now-free Child approached her side. She turned to Kuiil. "Get this thing outta here."

The Child extended a hand then, catching the attention of everyone surrounding Greef's supine form. Kuiil urged them to leave him be, and everyone watched warily as the tiny green creature stretched towards Greef.

"He's trying to eat me." Karga whined. Zakia snorted, nudging Mando in a weak attempt at lightening the mood.

More than a few seconds passed before anything changed. The Child laid his hand on Greef's arm and closed his eyes. Zakia could see the concentration on his tiny face, and gripped the crook of Din's elbow when their ex-boss's skin began to knit itself back together. The poisoned flesh reverted back to smooth skin from its blistered state, and even Greef seemed surprised as his pain slipped away.

The baby shook with the effort, eventually falling backwards onto his bottom. Zakia hustled towards him automatically, sweeping his exhausted form from the dirt. No one spoke, only stared at the unmarred flesh of Karga's arm. The shock was clear, and the uncertainty surrounding the tiny quarry skyrocketed.

Zakia only focused her wide eyes on the baby in her arms, whispering a silent prayer for the hours to come.

[sohin-ace]

Kakyoin - Your Highness

This is cross-posted from Wattpad and available on AO3.

Prince Kakyoin x Fem!Knight Reader

Thanks to @kookiraniiii on IG for letting me use her STUNNING art of Prince Kakyoin. It's beyond gorgeous.

In the eastern lands of Cerasus rules a magnificent King alongside his Queen.

They both had a darling child whose fate was to take the throne, marry a woman of his rank, establishing diplomatic alliances, and rule over the peaceful land.

That was what was written for him, but the young man had his mind set elsewhere.

In all of his years as a prince, he grew to fall in love with his personnal body guard, Y/N L/N.

Although forbidden, he couldn't help but think of her night and day, from the moment she swore eternal loyalty to him, and as she fought everyday for his safety, braving danger and dirtying herself so he could stay immaculate.

You were so beautiful in his eyes, no women of the court could compete with the raging fire in your eyes or the preciousness in your rare smiles. He couldn't care less for artificial beauty, frilly dresses and mondanities when you occupied his mind.

He sighed as he reminisced the little interactions you both had, glancing at each other across the throne room and how you both would 'negociate' to have you escort him here and there instead of another knight until they upgraded you to be his personnal body guard.

His mind raced again with thoughts of her as he daydreamed his way to his wide windows.

As Kakyoin looked out the large balcony, his eyes drifted from the colorful gardens to the stable where he saw you tending to your horse. He smiled softly and decided it wouldn't hurt to sneak out a little bit and come see you.

The red head arrived silently towards you. Not noticing his presence, you continued to feed and pet your mare.

"Not so fast, Athena!" You chuckled to her as she was munching on a carrot and Kakyoin relished in your bubbly laugh.

"Hello, Y/N." He greeted and you flinched at his deep yet soft voice as you turned around and saw him.

You froze for a milisecond before immediately scrambling on one knee, bowing your head and bringing a hand to your heart.

"Your Highness."

"Please Y/N, you don't have to do this. It's only me." He reassured with a gentle smile as you slowly got up from your bowed position.

You looked up at his violet eyes, then searched behind him as to check if he was alone, which he was.

"What brings you down here? Shouldn't you be in your chambers?" He rolled his eyes in answer which amused you.

"Each opportunity there is to flee my chambers, I take. I am bored beyond words."

"Hmm..." You tugged slightly at your mare's reigns. "Shall I take you for a joy ride, my prince?"

Your teasing voice and eyes made his heart skip three beats as he tried his best to not furiously nod his head in excitement like a small child on Christmas day.

"Okay. Hop on, please." You guided the very tall male towards Athena and helped him mount her.

You made sure Kakyoin was nicely secured and then gripped the reigns of your mare again, getting her to a walk through the gardens.

"Y/N," You hummed in reply, "Won't you get in trouble for this?"

"It's okay, I'm on my day off."

Kakyoin was shocked at your answer. "You spend your days off at the castle? You should go visit your family and get some rest!"

"Well... My family lives on the outer grounds, near the Grey Mountains. It would take a whole day to travel there and go back to the castle, so I just stay here."

"Oh... I see..." He looked away from you and back in front of him, a sad look gracing his features, "So you work even on your days off..."

"Yes, but it's fine, there is way less to do, and no pressure, I really get to rest. I basically don't do much beside protecting you..." You paused to look up at him. "Which is my sole purpose anyways."

You both exchanged a look and you smiled. "I would do it even if I wasn't a Royal Guard, or even if I was banned from the Kingdom."

Kakyoin blushed and immediately looked away. His heart beat quickened in his chest and he had to fight the stinging tears that prickled in his eyes.

It was so unfair. So unfair that you had to struggle so much with a smile and that he couldn't to anything for you. So unfair that you would blindly give your life for his sake. So unfair that you were meant to be apart, social norms binding his feelings for you unacceptable.

"Oh the gate is closed." You observed as you reached the limits of the Royal gardens.

You let go of Athena, trusting her that she wouldn't move, and walked to the closed metal doors. You turned around, glancing at Kakyoin with a smirk.

"Your Highness, let's elope."

He gasped loudly at your proposition. Surely you weren't serious, right? The scandalous idea of fleeing with you was at the same time exciting and terrifying. Before he could even answer, you giggled.

"I'm just kidding! You should see your face! Hahaha !" You turned back around to unlock the large door, thankfully missing the huge blush that currently burned his face.

He sighed a bit relieved, but was still confused at your current actions if you were joking.

"Y/N, why are you opening the gate...?" He stared at you as you approached him and took back the reigns.

You walked with him and Athena through the gate and officially out of the castle.

"I wasn't entirely joking, I'm taking you out to the Green Lands for a little while. There are some places I want to show you."

He looked visibly distressed as a bead of sweat ran down his forehead. He never left the castle before.

The farthest he's ever been was the Citadel where the Royal Family could be seen publicly in the Town Square, but even then, as a Prince, he wasn't allowed to these events very often, not until his corronation, that is.

"Don't worry, my Prince, there is nothing to fear. As long as you are with me, you don't have to be afraid."

Your reassuring words and sweet voice put him at ease. You were so brave and strong. He wished he could be fearless and fierce like you were.

And so, you walked through the trees towards the vast valley. Even with the sounds of mother nature around you, the woody scents and the breathtaking green view, he couldn't help but stare at you.

You weren't wearing your helmet today, which let him see your hair messily tied into a french braid. You were so beautiful, if it wasn't for that heavy armor, nobody would know you were a soldier, people would take you for a pure blood.

He minded your expression as you looked around. There was a hardened glint on your gaze. Even if you were relatively relaxed, he knew you kept your guards up, like a hawk hunting. Like nothing could escape your vision, not even the spirits dwelling in the forest.

He felt so safe around you, but he knew you kept all your burden to yourself. You had to carry so much on your shoulders but would never let it show. He prayed for your peace everyday.

"Let's stop at that pond, shall we?"

You helped him off your horse, holding his waist carefully as he climbed down. He could actually do it with no difficulty but he loved the way you cutely held onto him to prevent him for falling.

Athena was drinking while Kakyoin and you sat down by the stream, refreshing yourselves and watching the tadpoles wiggle in the water, giggling like children as they did.

As you two were relaxing, you heard a distant rumbling noise, which went unnoticed by Kakyoin. You perked up, and whipped your head around, searching the source of the noise.

You heard a sharp whistling sound, and immediately unsheathed your sword as you got up.

"What's wrong Y/N?"

Right as he asked that, an arrow landed right next to you two and he gasped.

"Damn it...!" You then noticed a group of armed men on the horizon.

"SET THE DUNES OF GOLD FREE!!! ALL HAIL THE LORD DIO!!!"

"Shit..." you gritted your teeth. You immediately turned to Kakyoin and pulled him to his feet, ushering him to mount Athena. "I don't even have my bow... God!"

"Y/N, what's happening?" Kakyoin asked as you helped him up.

Another arrow landed near you, then a second. At the third, Athena neighed loudly and you clicked your tongue. Being attacked was the last thing you needed today.

"The hunters of the Desert. They were sent by the King of the West, Dio Brando to spread the word of his domination, what a joke..."

As they came closer and their shots were getting more and more accurate, you removed your chainmail-doubled cape and wrapped it around the red haired prince, covering him entirely.

"Y/N..." He called your name worriedly and you secured the cape over his head before pushing him up on Athena.

"I won't let them harm you, my prince. No arrow will graze you as long as I am alive to protect you."

You climbed on your mare, right in front of Kakyoin and took back the reigns, turning Athena completely around. Kakyoin was surprised by the sudden move, but you then instructed. "Hold on tight!"

He obliged and wrapped his arms around your waist like his life depended on it, which it did. He leaned in against your back as you whipped the reigns.

"YAH!"

Athena then neighed and ran off at an incredible speed, barely dodging a bundle of arrows that planted on the ground near you.

Kakyoin's heart was pounding so hard in his chest, he was sure you could feel it through your thick gear. He kept his arms belted around you as he was shaken by the movements of your sprinting mare.

You seemed completely unfazed as you took swift turns and jumped over obstacles. Kakyoin buried his face on your shoulder.

He was a bit frightened, but at the same time, he knew he could trust you and he felt warm with your cape shielding him and your armored body against him. That was the closest he could conventionally be to you.

You eventually managed to lose track of the hunters as you stopped under a high cliff that shadowed the two of you, the sun now low in the sky.

He climbed off the horse right after you as you helped him down. He closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh but before he could even look at you, you collapsed to your knees in front of him.

"...Y/N?"

"I deeply apologize, your Highness! I put you to danger like a fool!" You fretted as you glared at the ground, unable to look at Kakyoin and hating yourself for acting so recklessly. "I will take any punishment...!"

His eyes widened in shock. Punishment? Danger? If anything, he should be thanking you.

Kakyoin kneeled down in front of you and lifted your chin up. You stared into his lavender gaze as he gently held your face, like you were some delicate flower.

"What danger are you refering to? I wasn't in danger at all, you protected me all the way." He spoke in a honey sweet voice as he lightly tugged on the heavy cape you put over him.

"But I- Your Highness-" You argued but he cut you off.

"Noriaki."

"Huh?"

"I told you to drop the formalities when there's only the two of us."

He stared at your e/c eyes and subconsciously got closer to you. Your breath hitched a bit as you put your calloused hand over his much softer one holding your face.

"Noriaki..." The way his name rolled out your tongue sent shivers down his spine.

How your voice was so gentle, hesitant almost, as his given name was forbidden from your mouth. God it was beautiful. He fell in love with you every passing second.

"Yes?" He breathed dreamily as he glanced at your lips, his prize, so close, right within his reach.

"We shouldn't..." You turned away a bit, glancing down. There would be consequences, you knew that.

"But Y/N, we should. Don't you want this?" He asked carefully, searching answers and consent in your shying eyes.

"I do... But... What about your title? You'll never be King if we..." You trailed off and he guided your face to look back at him.

"I don't want the crown, I want you."

With those confident words, he leaned in again, closing his eyes as he met your lips. You couldn't resist as you melted into the kiss.

You felt lightheaded and tingly at the sweet feeling of your prince kissing you so gently yet so passionately, his curly hair tickling the side of your face.

You didn't dare touch him any further as you were already comitting an unforgivable crime, but that didn't stop him from craddling your face in his hands, only to brush them to your neck and hair.

He wished this moment would last forever. It would probably be the first and last time he could do this. Getting out of the Royal Gardens was already a big risk, but this? This was thrilling.

You both could be killed if you were caught, but he didn't care. The only thing he cared about now, was the butterflies in his stomach and the deliciously painful throb of his heart.

You eventually parted for air. You let out a delighted sigh as Kakyoin panted slightly, still lingering against your lips, craving your touch and affection that he was so deprived of.

You looked at his red face and half-lidded eyes through your lashes. He wanted more, but you couldn't give him that, unfortunately.

"Y/N..." He whined softly as you pulled back.

You smiled at his needy tone and you flattened a stray lock of his hair, the previous run has had disheveled his hairstyle.

"It's getting late, everyone must be worried."

He agreed and you both got up. Good thing that you were more responsible than he was in these situations. He was about to tug your cape off of him and give it back to you, but you stopped him.

"Keep it. The sun is setting, it's going to be freezing."

He nodded and you helped him mount on Athena again and you joined him. Placing yourself back in front of him, he immediately held you as he did earlier, but this time, without the rush of adrenaline from being hunted down.

You trotted back towards the castle and Kakyoin admired the view around him. The valley was cast in a beautiful orange light. The stream shimmered with the sunlight and the birds flew across the canvas-like sky. He felt almost agoraphobic at the vast grounds that extended beyond his own vision.

"How is the view, my prince?"

"... Absolutely stunning..." He breathed out in sheer admiration.

He tightened his hold on you as he leaned his weight against you, keeping you as close to him as possible. You chuckled and leaned back on him as well, resting your head on his shoulder for a short while before looking back forward, loving the feeling of his arms around you.

He'll never be grateful enough for the adventures you brought him in. For the views and the sensations you blessed him with. For the love and safety you offered him.

He put his head on your shoulder and eventually drifted off to sleep, lulled by the horse's sway, the cold breeze and your reassuring scent. He dreamt of another life, another chance.

In his next life, he wanted to be a normal boy, going to school with other kids his age. No etiquette, no protocol, no prince, no kingdom, just normal people living together.

Where he would travel across the world with a group of friends from all around the globe, and where he could fight evil by your side, hand in hand.

Where instead of staying behind as you took the hit, he would be the one to protect you from the immortal being that threatened the world.

In his fantasy, you would be blessed by soulful spirits that granted you the strength that he didn't have now. And you would be allowed to be together, and love each other, with no one to tell you it was forbidden.

That was his ideal life.

If you're confused as to how the valley looks like, imagine the Hyrule Fields, that was my inspo.

I really love the Prince Kakyoin prompt and I'll do more, trust me.

Thanks again to @kookiraniiii on IG. Go check her out!

[deppisallyouneed]

Why I defend Johnny Depp

A while ago I did a thread on twitter about why I believed in Johnny's innocence and I think it's time to bring it here. I warn you in advance, it’s going to be a long post. 

1. First of all because just because a woman accuses a man of dv doesn't mean I'm gonna believe her without any proof. Women can be as abusive as men. Get that through your head. 

2.  Amber first asked for divorce citing "irreconcilable differences", not a single mention of the abuse. 

3. Before asking for the RO, she sent an extortion letter to his team demanding cars, money, apartments, spousal support and for him to pay all her legal fees or she would go to the media with the thing of the abuse

4. After he denied these requests she, of course, went public with the dv saying Johnny abused her mentally and physically throughout their entire relationship

5. Lets talk about the incident with his finger that happened in Australia, she wasn't even there at the time. 

6. We have then, the incident that happened on May 21 which by the way it was the same day that Doug Stanhope and his girlfriend were at Johnny's house comforting him because of his mother's death. As Doug said in his article, Johnny told them that his mood wasn't just for his mother but that now Amber was going to leave him and I quote: "threatening to lie about him publicly in any and every possible duplicitous way if he didn't agree to her terms" 

And that's exactly what happened. She sent that letter demanding all those things. He refused. She went to the media. So simple.

Going back to the incident that happened that night, THE POLICE went to their apartment and saw NO EVIDENCE of abuse. No bruises, no damaged property. NOTHING. Amber refuse to file a report.  

8. Then in May 22, the day after, she appears at a friends party and looks fine. A picture was posted on ig but was deleted. Wonder why...

9. On May 27 she goes to the court to ask for a RO with a visible bruise on her face but the day after the bruise was gone????? 

10. She said that she wanted to keep this matter out of the public eye, yet she sold pictures to People Magazine.

11. I'm gonna address here that she was arrested for domestic violence against her then partner. She went to court and was given a two year probation And of course she tried to erase her record when she met johnny. What a coincidence uh?

And don't come up to me saying that Tasya came on her defense because it was 7 years later. She didn't do shit back then to try and stop the trial. And by the way, the cop that arrested her is lesbian so your argument of "she was homophobic" doesn't fit here

12. Neighbours and people who worked on the building where they lived saw Amber with NO BRUISES on her face. Their bodyguards said she was the one who needed to be pulled off him.

13. Amber avoided her deposition 3 times. THREE TIMES. Until the judge said it was time for her to sit down and give one. First she said she couldn't because she needed to be in London for a fitting but that turned out to be false.

Then she was at her best friend engagement party (priorities) and so on. So confusing that she said she wanted to be divorced from him asap but wouldn't sit to give her deposition.

14. Johnny submitted his evidence and witnesses to the court and three days after that and a day before she could have obtained a PRO she dropped everything WITH PREJUDICE. He had police officers in his witnesses list btw

15. These are Johnny's evidence that were presented to the court. She didn't include in hers those text messages that apparently Johnny's assistant sent to her and also she didn't cite him as a witness. He was willing to testify under oath on Johnnys side. They were never verified

16. After she said she was going to donate the money to charity  (because people were calling her a gold digger), Johnny was going to send the money directly to those charities but she refused and was going to take him to court. Again, mysterious shit going on with this girl

17. During their marriage, Johnny was seen with scrathes and bruises. She hit him in that car episode, even if it was a joke, I wouldn't dare to hit the man who behind close doors makes me fear for my life. But whatever, it doesn't seem important for anybody.

18. And lets talk about the video. If you think that somebody who has been abusing his wife throughout their entire relationship is going to chose to break glasses and smash cabinets instead of hitting the person, then I don't know what to say. In the video Johnny's pissed off about something that has NOTHING TO DO WITH HER. He says it very clearly. She asks him multiple times what happened and he replies with: "Were you here this morning?". She says no and he answers: "Then nothing happened TO YOU this morning". 

He tries so hard to ignore her but she keeps asking him and trying to make the problem about her to get a violent action from him but that never happens. He doesn't even scream at her. Then she said she was sorry, what does that have to do with all of this?  And lets get this clear, he NEVER throws anything at her. He NEVER touches her.

As Johnny said in his GQ interview this fall, his mood in that moment was because he found out about his financial situation. She knew he was in a bad mood and tried to set him up. 

It's so clear that she feared for her life when she dared to ask if he had been drinking and to record him without his consent. Then he finally finds out that she was recording him and takes the phone away from her, yet he doesn't delete the video. Sounds odd to me.

19. Amber's lawyers had to apologise to Johnny because of the statement they made saying Amber was vindicated in the court of public opinion because it wasn't true. 

20. We can also talk about her controlling behavior towards him. Like in the airport where he had to say something to her so he could go and see his fans and she lets him letting his hand go with disdain. 

Or at the Black Mass premiere at TIFF where she tried to stop him from chatting with another woman and tried to pull him aside. A lot of people have said that she treated him bad, like a child. They said he loved her so much that he would do anything for her and she knew it

Johnny HAS ALWAYS DENIED THESE ALLEGATIONS. Do you really think that if he was trully guilty he would risk his reputation, the love and trust of his family friends and fans by denying the requests in that extortion letter? Makes no sense. 

Johnny’s lawyer has said Amber admitted beign violent to him and that they have evidence of her false allegations. And they seem pretty confident so, I really hope he gets the justice he deserves. 

Johnny Depp is innocent and the truth will come out.

UPDATES: 

Johnny Depp has fought off a High Court bid to temporarily halt his libel action against The Sun over allegations that he beat his former wife Amber Heard. The judge announced: “I am not satisfied on the current evidence that Ms Heard’s concerns about the restrictions that the divorce agreement imposes on her are well-founded.” Mr Justice Nicklin said Depp had stated clearly in his evidence to the court that he expects Heard “may well” give evidence in the proceedings, and “he will not attempt to prevent that”. He added: “The fact that Ms Heard presently thinks that there is some impediment to her giving evidence for the defendants is nothing to do with Mr Depp.

Here we have, again, her trying to avoid a trial, her avoiding to give the evidence she claims she has.

Johnny has also filed a defamation lawsuit against Amber in which he asks for $50 million.

In the suit, Depp calls the “false allegations” against him “an elaborate hoax to generate positive publicity” for her and “advance her career.” The lawsuit strongly states that she is the one attacked him, claiming, “Ms. Heard is not a victim of domestic abuse; she is a perpetrator.” He claims that Heard’s abuse claims were “conclusively refuted by two separate responding police officers, a litany of neutral third-party witnesses, and 87 newly obtained surveillance camera videos.” The lawsuit claims that an employee of the building reviewed building surveillance video three days after the alleged incident. Depp claims the employee “testified under oath that she saw Whitney Heard pretend to punch her sister in the face. Then Ms. Heard, Ms. Pennington [Heard’s best friend], and Whitney Heard all laughed.” Depp also details an incident one month into their marriage where he claims she threw a glass vodka bottle at him, which shattered when he made contact with his hand. He claims his finger had to be surgically reattached and claims Heard “disseminated false accounts of this incident, casting Mr. Depp as the perpetrator of his own injury.”

Amber Heard is just a fucking psychopath, if things aren’t the way she wants she will go crazy and Johnny loved her so much that he did everything that was in his hand to keep her happy and yet, she did this to him.  

We can also talk about the multiple witnesses he has:

Esparza said under oath that she did not see any visible injuries to Heard’s face or body in the days following the incident and up to the police investigating. She explained how close in proximity she was to Amber and claimed there were no injuries. However, Esparza did note that on May 27, six days after the reported incident, Heard did have a visible injury, including a “red cut underneath her right eye and red marks by her eye.” After seeing the images, Esparza testified that she went back and reviewed security footage from the building because the “time didn’t add up” and she suspected the allegations against Depp were “false.” The concierge services owner was adamant she had seen the actress “several times” without a mark on her face.

Then we have this:

A second employee of the building, a security guard named Alex Romero also claimed to have seen Heard multiple times throughout the week and said he did not see anything to indicate that Heard had been “punched by anyone,” or had anything thrown at her, like a cell phone. The security guard said he seriously doubted the actress’ story once he saw her photos, describing on record, “I saw the pictures and the next day I saw her. I was like come on, really. I couldn’t believe,” adding, “When I saw her in person, I didn’t see anything.” Two other employees — including the general manager of the building, Brandon Patterson — also testified that Heard was observed multiple times in the building following the alleged assault and was seen “without bruises, cuts, redness, swelling or any other injuries to her face.” They also testified that building surveillance captured lots of video of Heard without any visible injuries like the ones seen in the photographs. Baruch, who admits he’s been friends with Depp for 37 years, said Heard “stretched her neck” to show him her alleged injuries, and said he could not see any injuries while standing less than a foot away from her face. Baruch was adamant that he did not even see any redness or swelling. Baruch also describes a bizarre encounter with Heard a few weeks later, on June 3, where she invited him over for dinner while Depp was out of town. The neighbor said he declined, and stated, “I think it’s best that we don’t talk anymore because I’m confused, angry and frustrated by what I’ve been seeing.”

So, Johnny has all of these evidence, yet people still believe her, because a woman can’t lie about domestic violence and we have to believe her just because she is a woman.

Johnny Depp suffered domestic abuse from his ex wife and he has PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE INJURIES SHE CAUSED HIM, WITNESSES TESTIMONIES, AUDIO TAPES AND 87 SURVEILLANCE SECURITY CAMERA VIDEOS to let you all know and let the court know THAT SHE LIED AND THAT HE IS INNOCENT. 

WE ARE WITH YOU JOHNNY. 

[fightmewiatch]

New York After Dark

Summary: Sebastian works IT for the law firm at which you are secretary. After a lot of flirting, you two find yourselves alone in the firm, working late into the night.  (Look, I suck at summaries? Just read it. ^_^ )

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: SMUT. Smutty SMut Smut. 18+ ONLY. THERE IS SEX. 

Author’s Note: This is an AU based on THIS FUCKING AMAZING EDIT (pictured below too) which immediately gave me feelings, and not just fluffy ones, okay. 

{Not My Picture. Picture credit to ss.w.f->sebstan_winter_fan on IG}

          Not once, in your entire life, did you ever think that you’d be working in an office, in a high-rise in NYC, with a direct view of the city from your desk. But that is exactly what you were doing, now. Flipping your paperwork over, you set your pen down, and stood, stretching, as you moved towards the wall of windows, peering out at the city. You still hadn’t been able to decide which view you liked better - New York in the daylight, or New York at night.

         Not that you took the view in at night much until recently. At least, not from your office.

         But tonight was the third night in a row that you had been tasked with working late. Not only were you there to finish up paperwork and make sure copies were made for your boss’ court case, starting Bright and Early Monday morning, but you also had to be there while IT updated all the systems in the office.

         Which brought your attention to Sebastian, kneeling under the desk in the office to your left, reconnecting some wires to the computer, before crawling out, and glancing over at you with a silly smirk on his lips.

“Well, hey, gorgeous.” Chuckling and rolling your eyes, you padded over, leaning against the doorframe.

“How’s it going, Sebastian?” you asked, curious. He slid into the desk chair, tapping at the keyboard, before reaching up to fix his glasses.

“One at a time, but definitely getting done. By the way? When was the last time your boss updated this? I swear to God, this thing still had Windows 95 on it,” he commented as you giggled and blushed.

“I don’t know, I honestly didn’t know he had a computer in here until they made me a list of what offices you had to update,” you admitted, shrugging. “Are you hungry? You’ve been here a while.” Sebastian peered up, surprised, but he masked it quickly with a lopsided smile, and shrugged.

“Why, did you wanna take me out to dinner?” Blushing a bit more, you rolled your eyes, and pushed off the frame.

“I’ve worked til nearly eleven the last three days, so I order something in. Tonight I was thinking Italian. But let me know,” you told him, shrugging and heading back towards your desk, feeling his eyes on you for another moment before you heard the keyboard clicking again.

         If you had met Sebastian outside of the office, you never would have thought IT was what he did for a living. His short locks were constantly a mess, usually some kind of styled bed head, at best. Black-framed glasses sat perfectly perched on his nose, no matter how many times he pushed them further up. Small gauges in his ears. He even had ink, one tattoo up the side of his neck, a sleeve on his left arm and a half sleeve on his right.

         There was no way you could deny how attractive he was, but you had been trying to be more firm with yourself about not having any kind of possible relationship, outside of friendship, with anyone you worked with. It had a tendency to get messy. Of course, that never stopped him from flashing you that stunning smile, and making your knees weak with those steel blue eyes.

         So you weren’t surprised when he crouched across from you, forearms crossed on the edge of your desk, head resting on the back of his hands.

“Hey gorgeous.”

“Oh, Seb. You should get your glasses checked, honey,” you chuckled, shaking your head as you turned to pluck a few more pages off the printer, before standing.

“Aww. You know you’re gorgeous.” When you scoffed, Sebastian reached out, curling his fingers over your wrist. “Also.”

“Decided to join me for food?” you grinned, as he laughed, and nodded. “Alright, here, pick what you want, I gotta get these copies started,” you told him, sliding the menu over, before standing, and gathering up the small stack by your keyboard.

         A sticky note was stuck to the menu when you came back to your desk, the sound of Sebastian singing to himself down the hall as he worked on another office. Blushing, and glancing towards the sound, you sat down, already dialing the restaurant to place the order.

         As you signed off on your food, the sound of Sebastian calling your name made you look up, and smile. He whistled, bounding over to peer into the bag.

“Ahhh, perfect timing! Here, wait, lemme get the tip,” he insisted, waving off your protests as he dug out his wallet, and snuck out a bill, thrusting it into the man’s hand. He furrowed his brow, looking between you and Sebastian, before glancing down, and grinning.

“Hey! Thanks, man! You two have a good night.”

“Here, thanks,” you laughed, handing him back his copy of the receipt, and following him to the doors to lock the office behind him.

“Come on. Copier is still running, join me in the conference room?” You hummed, glancing at your desk, before shrugging, and nodding, grabbing your phone and forwarding your desk to the phone in the conference room, as he grabbed the bags, and followed you.

         You giggled, and rolled your eyes, reaching out to steal a shrimp out of his container as he squawked.

“Hey!”

“Hey!” you mocked, swallowing. “I bought, I get to steal.” With a silly grin, you stood, gathering your trash, and tucked it back into the bag, glancing up at him. “I’m gonna go check the copier. Finish up.”

“Oh, fine, leave me alone.” You reached out, ruffling his hair with a giggle, before bounding out of the conference as he laughed behind you. You were feeling bold, your heart racing in your chest, as you grinned and bounded to the copy room around the corner.

         Once the paper was refilled, and you had added the copies to the stacks on the table behind you, you started the next stack copying, and moved back to the conference room. Sebastian was stretched out on the floor under the table, t-shirt riding up and revealing his lower abdomen, jeans slid down just a little, as he shifted, grunting, and shoved the cord into place.

“...I take it you are...finished eating,” you ask, forcing yourself to clear your throat. Sebastian twisted a little, looking out at you, and grinned.

“Yeah! Trash is in the bag, sorry, I was gonna bring it out, but I didn’t wanna interrupt you to ask you where to take it.” You ducked your head and shrugged, smiling.

“No big deal,” you insisted, moving around to wipe off the table, and dump the crumbs into the bag, too, eyes flickering up as he wriggled off the floor, and grabbed the edge of the table to haul himself up.

“Can you stay in here for a second?” You looked up, curious. “I gotta make sure this works, but I’m gonna get worn out if I keep laying down and getting up. I just need you to work the keyboard.”

“Oh...yeah, I can do that, just tell me what to do.” He grinned, and rounded the table, grabbing you by the waist as he planted a kiss to your cheek before dropping to the floor and slipping under that side of the table. With a squeak, you hopped to the side, hands dropping to straighten your skirt as you blushed so dark, you felt like you were on fire.

         For a few minutes, Sebastian rearranged the wires under the table, plugging them into the projector, before asking you to hit certain keys. After doing it a few times, he cheered, and finished securing the cables out of the way under the table, before twisting, and grasping your hips as he hauled himself up.

“Sebastian!” you hissed, laughing and ignoring your blush, as he stood up, inches from you.

“What?” he grinned. “You love me.” You rolled your eyes, pushing his chest, but unlike every other time, he held firm to your hips, cocking his head. “Why do you always push me off?”

“...what? I...don’t.”

“Okay, that was a bad stall,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Baby, you always push me away. Do you really want me to stop flirtin’ with you?” You met his eye, then, the blue boring into your eyes as you sighed, and slightly shook your head.

         You had no idea what came over you, when you tipped your head, and pressed your lips against his, but when he tangled his fingers in your hair, cupping your head as he kissed you back, you didn’t care. His lips were warm and soft, the soft smattering of scruff tickling your skin as you turned to face him, wrapping both arms around his shoulders with a soft moan. The feeling of his tongue against your lips making it so easy for you to open up to him, licking into his mouth and moaning at the taste of alfredo still clinging to his lips.

         The table was hard behind you as he pressed you into it, lips trailing down your throat as you panted, and slid your butt onto the wooden table, clutching at the back of his neck. His fingers teasing under your blouse shot a bolt of heat through your, your knees pressing into his hips as you attempted to clench your thighs together, before he moved both hands to drag up your thighs beneath your skirt.

“Seb,” you panted, tipping your head back and tugging at his shirt, fingers scratching over his abdomen as he groaned.

“So gorgeous,” he murmured into your skin, nipping below your ear as you whimpered, yanking at his belt. “You sure?”

“Yes,” you breathed, capturing his mouth with your own, the kiss almost biting and desperate as he pulled you to the edge of the table, and you shoved his jeans open and partway down, just enough for his cock to bob free. You pulled from his lips, then, looking down as you curled your fingers around his cock, moaning at the sight of him in your fingers. “Fuck,” you whimpered, practically drooling, as he smirked, and pulled your head up to kiss you, moaning into your mouth as you pumped your hand over his cock.

         As much as you wanted to taste it, and god did you want to taste that thick cock on your tongue, you wanted something else even more, heat pooling between your thighs, as his hand reached the top of your thighs, fingers slipping between them to tease your clit.

“Shit, baby, already soaked, and I’ve barely touched you,” he purred, nipping at your bottom lip, as he worked your clit with his thumb, your body rocking along the edge of the table.

“Don’t tease me,” you whined, curling your free hand around the back of his head, blunt nails dragging over the ink on his skin, and for a moment, you wondered if he was tattooed anywhere else, a thought that made you whimper as you met his hooded gaze, pupils blown wide as he looked back at you. Sebastian clicked his tongue, guiding you just over the edge of the table, before wriggling between your thighs, pushing up your skirt, before hooking a finger against your panties, pulling them out of the way.

         You tipped your head away from him, back arching at the feel of the blunt head of his cock at your opening. With a soft moan, you laid back on the table, biting your lip at the guttural moan that fell from his lips as he pressed into you, and pushed your legs up and open, sliding until he was fully sheathed in your cunt.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so fucking tight, holy shit, I could cum like this,” he groaned, pulling partway out, before thrusting in sharply, leaving one of your legs open to the side, hooking the other up, your foot on his shoulder. You nearly shouted as he thrust his cock back in, hitting your g-spot.

“Oh shit! Shit, fuck me, Seb, don’t stop, like that,” you panted, palming your breast in one hand as you slid your hand between your thighs, and working your clit with your fingers.

         Sebastian nearly growled at the sight, grabbing his glasses and tossing them onto the table, before pulling you to sit up, slamming his lips against yours as he wrapped his arms around you, hands on the table as you grabbed him around the shoulders, rocking your hips against his.

“C’mon, baby, c’mon, cum on my cock, so fuckin’ tight,” he growled against your lips as you whined, needy, scratching your fingers through his hair as he leaned in, and latched onto your pulse point.

         The feeling of his hand grasping onto your breast, thumb teasing over your nipple, even through your bra, made you gasp, and tremble, but it wasn’t until his tongue trailed over your ear, breath hot across your skin as he whispered “Cum”, that you sobbed out his name, and did just that, cumming so hard on his cock you saw stars.

         His hips jerked against yours as he continued to thrust, gasping and groaning, before he came, too, short, stuttered thrusts until his tense frame eased into yours, arms wrapping about your waist as he captured your lips in a much softer, sweeter kiss.

         The moans were soft, barely whispers between your lips, as you tried to catch your breath, his hands rubbing gently across your back as you cupped his face. This wasn’t the needy, urgent clash of lips and teeth from moments before, this was different, made your stomach flip and your heart skip as you pulled back, and leaned your forehead against his.

“I don’t...like to date people I work with. It can be messy,” you admitted, still breathless, as he huffed softly, lips quirked up in a smile even if you weren’t looking. Sebastian reached up, brushing his fingers over your hair to nudge it behind your ear.

“We’ve been workin’ together, technically, for like three years, sweetheart. I’m not gonna wreck your career. I know you won’t wreck mine. We only cross paths when something crashes, or your boss forgets how to Save As and argues that it must be a virus.” You laughed, rolling your eyes, but you didn’t push him away as he ghosted his lips against yours. “I won’t hit on you anymore, if you tell me to stop.”

“Please don’t,” you begged him quietly, making him smile sweetly.

         With a quick kiss to your lips, Sebastian moved, reaching for the bag you had left on the table, digging in for the napkins. You groaned, and blushed, as he pulled you a little closer to the edge, gently sliding out of you as he quickly cleaned you up, and then himself, tossing both napkins into the bag as he fixed your underwear and skirt, your fingers gently tucking him back into his jeans, and fixing his pants.

“I mean it...every time I tell you I think you’re gorgeous.” You lifted your eyes to his, brow furrowed, as he gently cupped your face. “I think you’re gorgeous.”

“...I hope you’re not just saying that because we j-” He swooped in, kissing you softly, and shook his head with a huff.

“Considering how often I’ve said it, it has nothing to do with this. But...I mean, I get it, not wanting to date coworkers...but we aren’t really coworkers….we just cross paths sometimes because I’m contracted to this office, that’s it.” You bit your lip, studying those breathtaking eyes as he watched you, hoping you would say something, before your eyes widened. “...what?”

“...I tell you what?” you asked, eyes darting away from him. “You...figure out how to remove what we just did from the security cameras...and we can go on a date.” He furrowed his brow, before turning, seeing the camera in the corner. Instead of panicking, like you’d expected, hell, like you were doing, he snorted, and helped you off the table, kissing you softly, before moving to the computer he’d set up at the other end of the table.

         Curious, you followed him, peeking over his shoulder as he tapped away, the footage rolling back across his screen. God, the sight of him slamming into you made you whimper, and bite your lip, as he glanced at you over his shoulder.

“Shut up, you’re hot.” With a startled laugh, Sebastian leaned over, kissing your cheek, before turning his focus to the computer. You moved, grabbing his glasses, something he sheepishly thanked you for, before the footage vanished, and he tapped a few more keys, before pointing to the screen.

“There...now it just looks like they went off while I was rearranging the wires. I’m gonna get back under the table...and then you just need to hit this key,” he said, pointing to the keyboard, “and it’ll look like we fixed it.” With a soft laugh, you nodded, moaning quietly as he kissed you soundly, before ducking back under the table.

         As soon as it was fixed, you returned to the copy room, finishing putting together the documents for court on Monday. Sebastian took his time finishing the updates, so as you moved the final products to your boss’ office, he was packing up his equipment. Taking the bag of dinner, and other, garbage, he flicked off the lights, and waited for you to grab your things, clocking out and locking down your computer.

         The elevator dinged, doors sliding open, and he motioned you on first, following you into the box. As the doors slid shut, he turned, grinning as you pulled him in for a soft kiss.

“Did you mean it?” he asked against your lips. “Can I take you on a date?” You blushed, and nodded, slipping your arms around his shoulders.

“Do you wanna start tonight? I’m off this weekend...you can come over.” Sebastian’s face lit up, then, as he pulled you in close, and kissed your cheek.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever actually enjoyed working a late night,” he smirked, as you giggled, and held him close.

“Something tells me it wasn’t the late night you enjoyed,” you teased him, taking the garbage bag from him as the doors opened on the first floor. After dropping the bag in the trash chute, you laced your fingers with his, waving at security as the two of you headed outside.

Buy me a ko-fi?

[thebeautifulisalwaysbizarre]

Emotion O’Pit (a tribute to Skam France)

So this is it, then. The day I thought would never come, the day I refused to see coming, the day I wish I could avoid. Tonight is the end, at least for now (until they announce a renewal, right?). I’m devastated and i’m going to keep being devastated for a while. I’m not ready to let go. I’m going to miss this show and these characters so much. They’re a part of me and it kinda feels like losing a limb, not gonna lie. Sounds childish, doesn’t it? I can only imagine how weird and blown out of proportions it can seem for an outsider. But i think anyone attached to this show as much as me gets it. I feel like i’ve lost something that was so rooted in my life that i have forgotten how it feels to live without it. I can’t recall another show that impacted me that much, that literally became my life. I can’t recall not anxiously waiting for a clip to drop, or for texts updates, or for ig posts. I can’t recall not clowning about the future. I dived into this on the seventh of January and I had no idea of what i was getting myself into. Twenty two weeks, almost half a year. So little time in the grand scheme of things, yet so much. So much that I can’t remember not being obsessed with this. I never got out since, and now i have to, and I don’t know how to do that. I’ll manage, sure, but for now i’m just extremely messy and sad. I’m scared, I’m terrified, but this is fine. Yet this post is not only a goodbye post. It’s not even a goodbye at all, it’s a “later”. As we say in French, it’s an “au revoir”. Until next time. I am sad, perhaps unhealthily sad, but i am so so happy and proud, and thankful. And i regret nothing. This show is something i never thought i would get to have in my own language, in my own country, in my own city. France is a mostly tolerant and open country, and i am lucky to live here, and to be able to live here, but it has also hate. A million people protesting against LGBT+ rights; islamophobia that becomes the norm because people are scared and scarred, so they hate; and racism so deeply rooted that people don’t even wonder anymore. And so much ignorance too. So many are like Ingrid, ignorant and hurtful without meaning it most of the times. Not filled with hate, but filled with so much ideas and prejudices it’s so hard to realize that what they say is wrong. And against those people, we have two choices: we can let their ideas spread and we can be slowly but surely consumed by hate, or we can try to save things, to salvage the values we love and follow. Skam France chose the second path. Of course it’s not perfect and has flaws, even major ones (Charles and Manon i’m looking at you), but the people making it, all of them, refused to watch things unfold without doing anything about it. They took the hardest decision, the one that states that you can change people and their ways of thinking, that you can educate them and show them that they are wrong, that we can’t give up because the fight is hard. Will it work? Will the behaviors change? I don’t know, nobody knows for sure, and i don’t pretend to say that Skam France will change my country and erase some of its problems. I like to believe I am neither that naive nor that pretentious. But it could be one of the many stones that build the edifice. It could help. And above all, even if nothing changes, even if hate consumes things after all, at least some people out there will have tried to change that course. But I don’t think all hope is lost, i believe that media and cultural products can change the way a society lives and thinks. Call me a naive optimist, but i really have faith that some of the people that are ignorant today would be willing to learn tomorrow. Skam France, and all of the other things that fight for minorities, will not be for nothing. I refuse to believe that. So this post is a tribute and a thank you for not giving up, for believing that “hate spreads, but fortunately love does too”, for trusting that “love always wins” in the end, that it doesn’t balance out. That love is stronger than hate, and that it will always be, no matter what. Thank you for characters that feel so real they could be my friends. Thank you for mains in which we see so much of ourselves. Thank you for Emma and Manon and Lucas and Imane, and their stories and their fights. Thank you for all of the people around them, helping them, accepting them, loving them. Thank you for the ones that didn’t stick around because they were scared, or ignorant, or vicious, and proved that, even if it’s hard and painful and shouldn’t exist, you choose your family. Thank you for the love stories and the friendships. Thank you for showing us that we are never alone, and that we are never unlovable, no matter what our brain and body are made of. Thank you for the musics and the cinematography. Thank you for the weeks of agony and the weeks of laugher. Thank you for the endless stress and clowning and joy and frustration and despair and relief.  And most of all, thank you for my friends. Thank you for having given me people that i cherish with everything that i have, and that i love so much it terrifies me sometimes. Clara, thank you for this. I can never be grateful enough for what you have gifted us with. To you all, thank you for everything too. Thank you for the clown empire (i’m going to miss our crazy theories more than anything) and the advice and the endless support. Thank you for showing me that i might deserve happiness. Thank you for listening to me and being my collective Gerôme. Thank you for making me slightly more secure and slightly prouder. Thank you for the laughs and the tears. Thank you for all the vendreading (there will be more, I will keep on believing that until I am proven the contrary), and for Corentin, and for noises, and for the weather, and for Joel Dixie, and for nails and saints, and for pineapple and sunit and déodorant. Thank you for teaching me so many things. Thank you for being so awesome all day every day. And thank you for what’s yet to come, because we are not going anywhere. Thank you for the weekend coming, and August, and everything before, in the middle and after that. We are together, whatever happens next. Les Élus are a team, and we will continue our usual chaos. It’ll be “Chaos in The Discord, minute by minute”, and that is a promise. I won’t let you go. I love you.  Lastly, there is this quote from Doctor Who that i found fitting to the occasion: “Everything ends and it's always sad, but everything begins again, too. And that's always happy. Be happy.” So, to whoever is reading that, be happy. Be proud. Be kind. Be loving. 

[canaryatlaw]

okay. today was not bad. not sure if we reached good, but overall now bad, which for now I will take. My body decided to wake me up at 7:50 am for no discernible reason, then decided I wasn’t gonna be able to fall back asleep so I was up for the day. well, might as well make the best of it and be productive. I wanted to make m&m pancakes because I haven’t made them in a while, and I’ve been getting lazy about measuring out the right proportions because I tend to like the batter to be thinner than what the measurements they tell you to use produce (thinner pancakes are less likely to burn on the outside while the middle still isn’t cooked and that gives me anxiety) so I just kinda eyeballed it, but it ended up being a bit too thin and the pancakes would just die when I tried to flip them, so I added some more mix and they were then working just fine. Made my pancakes, sat at the table with my computer and got a jump on the lecture for trusts. it was like 2 hours and 50 minutes, not too bad. It was alright, I did already do the New York trusts lecture so I did have some concept of what was going on, so it wasn’t like totally brand new information to me. I’d wanted to marathon two lectures today so then I don’t have to do one Monday when I’m running around doing a million other things to prep for the bar on Tuesday, so now that I was up early I was gonna try to marathon the two lectures, the second being about the same length as the first. this one was on “commercial paper” which is literally not a term I’ve even heard mentioned once in my three years of law school, so I really had no idea what was coming. The lecturer started off the video by basically saying there is legit little to no chance this is going to come up on the bar but we still made the lecture to be thorough at which point I was like okay PEACE and left because I’m not wasting precious studying time on shit that’s not gonna be on the bar (one paragraph I was reading said fed tax, which is a subject they still teach, hasn’t shown up on the bar in decades. DECADES.) so that was one less thing to do. there’s only one more lecture to cover that I’ll do tomorrow, and it’s secured transactions, which I just took in my last semester and somehow managed to swindle an A- out of it, so I’ll definitely have an advantage with that as opposed to these other subjects I never touched in high school. So, what to do now. I started with some practice questions trying to go slow and analytically, following their step by step problem solving theory, and the first batch came back with really bad grades and I was super frustrated and wanted to bang my head against the wall, but I calmed down and tried another, and the grade went up significantly, so I did a few more with mostly good grades, so that was encouraging. I did some outline review after that, then started going through the essays by subject and outlining them, which is probably something I should continue doing tomorrow, because I’m not great with the specialty subjects essays being that I just learned most of them. Interspersed with all of this was of course news coming out of comic con, I turned the push notifications off on my phone because there was just way too much coming out to distract me, but I would occasionally check it and yeah, there was just a lot. Of course there’s the fact that Jess met the entire cast, which I legit am not even a little bit surprised at because I fully expected that to happen at this point, because that’s just her life. But yeah, that’s all kinds of awesome of course (goddamn bar exam keeping me from going....) and then I took a break to make dinner. I’m still on the trying to convince myself I like eating chicken train, and I had bought some ingredients for a recipe I later decided I didn’t want to make, but I could add a few things and use them to make one meal I know is really good, chicken roll ups, which is basically shredded chicken mixed with cream cheese and shredded cheddar cheese and then stuffed into crescent roll dough and cooked and it’s fucking heavenly. Well. I managed to fuck things up in quite a few ways that made them really not very good. First off, I was using leftover rotisserie chicken, which of course just had a different texture and taste, and was also a lot drier, and I didn’t measure how much it was and I think the ratio was too much so it through off the mixture. I also ended up not having enough cheese because the block of cheddar I had in the fridge had grown a really gross mold spot on it so I had to ditch that. And then, idk if this made any difference, but I didn’t have crescent dough but I had biscuit dough, so I figured if I just rolled it out it would work fine, and idk if that contributed to it not tasting right at all but it was at least one change. so I ended up basically eating the dough off of a few of those before tossing them because they were just not good. so that’s one more check in the “failed” column in this venture. Oh well. I did also watch videos and such out of SDCC as I could, I saw Caity’s IG live where she had the camera on the sizzle reel airing live, so that was a very cool way to get to see the footage for the first time. Everything that came out was so good, I’m so happy we’re getting soft AvaLance and so so much more. I’m so pumped for this season. But alas, I went back to my essays and was getting kind of frustrated when I had a bit of a moment. I had my pump up playlist on, which included a song called Meant To Be by Steven Curtis Chapman (if you’re unaware of who that is, he’s a Christian singer) which I had debated about whether I should add and then had debated again this afternoon if I should keep it as I was deleting some of them, but I did, and I’m just sitting there frustrated when I begin to focus on the lyrics, and in that moment they really spoke to my soul-  

You were meant to be touching The lives that you touch And meant to be here Making this world so much more Than it would be without you in it

And in that minute, I was reminded of all of the reasons I am going on this crazy adventure, why I’m putting myself through all this stress and hard work. It’s because I care. It’s because I want to make a difference. I want to be the kind of person that has a radical effect on the areas of the world they worked in. I was meant to be here. I know I was. I may get frustrated sometimes and talk about how much I miss acting (which, to be fair, I really do) but at the end of the day, that decision wasn’t about me picking law because I didn’t think I could make it in acting, it was about me picking law because I wanted to be a lawyer more than anything else in this world. I had all of this in my mind and I walked over to the wall in my room where I have a picture of the little boy from the child death case I worked on. Manny. He will forever be an innocent four year old. He was denied the opportunity to grow up. And that is why I’m doing what I’m doing. I couldn’t save him, I wasn’t there. But I know there will be so, so many Manny’s in the future that I could be able to help if I worked hard and diligently and refused to back down when things get hard. That’s why I’m doing this. For all the little boys and girls who are facing potential deadly violence and neglect, innocent lives that can be saved, that can be spared meeting a grizzly death before they even get to kindergarten. Because I am so tired of hearing these stories. I. Am. So. Tired. So I’m going to do something about it. Alright, I think that’s enough of a rant for more, there will always be plenty more where that came from. I tried to do some more essays but my vision kept blurring on me which again idk if it’s a vision problem I’ve somehow developed or just a sign I’m overstudying, but it made it fairly impossible to work, so I gave up (I mean, it was also pushing like, 10 pm at this point, so it was probably a good cut off point). So I moved to the living room and watched Queer Eye, trying to unwind, which was helpful. And then I eventually decided I should go to bed, mostly because i’d like to not sleep the entire day tomorrow so I can actually get stuff done. And I am already very tired, my eyelids are actively trying to close on me right now, so I’m gonna finish here. Goodnight mah people. You da best.

[djshannonc321]

With Covid-19 and Social distancing being the new normal and Virtual Events being the latest response to traditional events being outlawed, everyone has taken to the internet for connection and celebration. Virtual Zoom Parties, IG Lives, Twitch Streams, and Mixcloud Broadcasts have become the new night clubs where party goers can jump from room to room within a couple of clicks.

A virtual night out might now include Club Quarantine with D Nice, a Zoom Party for Toca Tuesdays with Tony Touch, a Saturday Night IG/ZOOM Dance Party with @HouseOfYes, Virtual Festivals on Twitch and Virtual Concerts and DJ Sets in Fortnite! All right from your couch and in a series of clicks. Online it’s all happening right now when it comes to events and entertainment. I, myself, have now hosted and performed for a series of Virtual Birthday Parties, Virtual Corporate Celebrations, Virtual Workshops, Virtual Networking Groups, and even a Virtual Group DJ Set with the Sinister Syndicate Crew which was broadcasted out to facebook and live to join over Zoom.

I’ve watched some of my favorite bands like GoldFinger re-release live songs recorded safer at home from their individual home studious. And can we just take a moment and enjoy the epic Verzuz battles that have brought some of our musical greats together. Jill Scott and Erykah Badu gave us LIFE in the most recent installment of the Verzuz series of IG Battles. The possibilities are quite endless when it comes to events and entertainment in the online space.

Similar to all of the good that we’ve seen, the internet and technology have produced some rather ugly and awkward moments for virtual event goers and producers as well. By now, I’m sure you’ve attended at least one event that turned into a constant sound check, experienced one awkward zoom moment, or at least you saw the Teddy Riley and Baby Face Verzuz fail where poor tech required the whole event be scrapped and rescheduled. Needless to say, I’m sure you clicked on this article because you don’t want that awkward experience to happen to you. Keep reading for 5 Tips (plus some pro-tip extras) to make sure that next awkward moment doesn’t happen to you.

1. Plan Your Event! The importance of planning, especially in the online space, and especially if you’ve got multiple things going on in the course of your event, CANNOT BE OVERSTATED, I personally like to have a run of show ( itinerary or timeline ) that tells me what should be happening through the course of the event. Here’s a couple of examples:

Virtual Networking Event 5:00p — 5:15p — Introduction with Live Stream out to Facebook (no music) 5:15–5:30 — music / host introduction 5:30–5:45 — Break Out Room Networking Activity / DJ in main room 5:45–6:50 — DJ with Networking Activity 6:50–7:00 — Debrief and Closing (no music) Virtual Birthday Party 7:00–7:10 — Background music while guests are joining 7:10 — Slide Show for the Birthday Girl 7:15 — Grand Entrance with Music 7:20–7:30 — Group Introductions 7:30–8:00 — Birthday Girl Trivia Game 8:00–9:00 — Dance Party with DJ

Virtual Events and Parties are very much like live shows. It makes for a much smoother end user experience when there’s some kind of plan and someone’s taking the lead to move things ahead. An extra pro-tip that helps to move things along is to have someone as a dedicated host or Emcee to help with transitioning between activities. In the Virtual Networking event outlined above, the Client was the host and I followed her lead and the itinerary. For the Birthday Party, I hosted so I was able to make the transitions between activities planned before hand, and the client was able to just enjoy her party. In another event I did, there was no host, but each performer was supposed to introduce the next performer — only someone forgot and it made things kind of awkward.

2. Test the Technology — Another Step that in the virtual space cannot be over stated. [Remember Teddy Riley… 🙁 ] Once you’ve determined your event and the timeline of your event, it’s time to commit to the tech and test it. Some things you should be considering:

1. Where will you host the event? (Zoom, IG, Facebook, GoToMeeting, House Party, etc)

2. What are the technical requirements and capabilities of that tech as it relates to your event? (is there going to be sound other than people talking? Will anyone be performing, etc) Something as simple as broadcasting music can be a little more complicated to get the desired affect in the online space.

3. When can you test? (Make sure to do this well in advance of the event so you’ve got time to troubleshoot if something doesn’t work right the first time) I can personally tell you there’s nothing worse than trying to troubleshoot tech that doesn’t work while the clock steadily ticks down to start time.

A when testing is to join the test from a different device than the one you’re broadcasting on so you can get a feel for the actual audience experience. What seems fine from an AV perspective on your broadcasting device may be very different than what the end user is experiencing. Another — pretty much anything you’ll come across can worked out with a youtube video. I’ve been able to find tutorials on fixing a blue screen on a pc to setting up OBS software to broadcasting OBS to Zoom and beyond. When it comes to troubleshooting, YouTube and Google are your best friends. Use them.

3. Sound Advice — It’s important to note that sound on the end user side isn’t automatically the same as what you hear on your side. Our devices and the programs we are using to stream have compressors that change the integrity of the sound. Strength and stability of internet connection for both the broadcaster and the viewer can also have a negative impact on sound. Also noteworthy, on almost every broadcasting platform, there’s a slight delay from broadcaster to viewer.

I played a party recently where the host wanted me to play background music for the solo singers and dancers. We had to work out that each performer, especially the singers, would be responsible for broadcasting their own accompanying music to help eliminate the problem of delay and competing audio. For example, notice on Zoom that it’s difficult to hear multiple speakers at the same time. If I’m playing audio and a singer is singing to what they hear, what the user hears will be delayed and out of sync. Also there will be audio fall out between both contributing sound as Zoom tries to toggle between each to determine who’s audio to project.

When I’m playing music, I’m able to get the best quality of sound by plugging my DJ gear directly into my broadcasting device using an audio interface. When broadcasting with a phone, many DJ’s are using an IRIG system that allows XLR or Qtr Inch to 35mm so you can connect to your phone. When broadcasting with a laptop, many DJS are using a USB audio interface or USB enabled mixer to plug directly into the broadcasting computer. Pro Tip — Some broadcasting Programs like Zoom allow you to change audio settings or to use the audio from a usb mic or another assigned source. You may need to explore these settings and options to get the best possible sound.

Another Pro-Tip — close out all programs you aren’t using on the broadcasting device to make sure it’s full CPU is dedicated to the broadcast especially if you’re using Wifi. If you’re on a laptop, hard wire to your modem from the broadcasting laptop if at all possible. Wifi can be unstable, and those internet related sound issues are pretty much out of your hands.

4. Be Adaptable — Despite how much you may have tested and planned, sometimes in the live environment, things go awry. You’ve got to be prepared to shift on a moment’s notice within the capacity of your platform so that the show can go on.

For example, In a birthday party I hosted on Zoom, we were playing a trivia game. I was asking the questions, then playing music while they answered in the chat, and then taking the answers from the chat and putting them into a spreadsheet to keep score. This process was taking a very long time; longer than we had anticipated in practice. So, I switched my scoring method to stopping the music and calling each person’s name from the spreadsheet and letting them answer aloud. (instead of in the chat) This made the game move quicker and allowed for a more interactive experience in that moment because each person who answered could also tell a little story or make a joke with their answer.

In another example, someone Zoom Bombed one of the events I was attending. The Host didn’t have the waiting room setup and had the feature that allowed all users to share their screens enabled. So a user came in and started sharing his screen over top of the performer and doing all kinds of inappropriate things. The admin who was running the room and producing the broadcast feed was able to quickly fix the zoom preferences and kick the person into the waiting room. If he hadn’t been quick to notice and respond, the outcome could have been a lot worse. Pro-tip — use the Waiting Room and Password features in Zoom and keep your software updated to be on the most secure version to help keep your event secure.

In a final example, I was doing a back-to-back DJ set with a friend of mine who is a popular DJ in London. Her sound setup was completely different than mine, and we’d tested on multiple occasions, including just before the show. The day of the show, however, I changed my complete sound and broadcast setup from the setup I’d used multiple times prior. We tested it several times, but when it came for showtime the new setup ran into all sorts of sound issues that hadn’t shown up in sound check and I wasn’t able to broadcast my part. I was communicating with her privately on What’sApp to explain what was happening as I frantically tried to troubleshoot on my side. She ended up playing the entire set (both mine and hers) while I’d chime in on the mic occasionally and interacted in the chat. Either way, we adapted and allowed the show to go on. None of this is to scare you by the way, it’s just to highlight the need to be adaptable when broadcasting or hosting an event in the online space. I feel like you have to be adaptable when doing ANY type of live event, but most especially in the online space.

5. Practice — After you’ve done all of your planning and prepping and testing, the only thing left to do is to execute. But before you do, I recommend that you practice — even if it’s just with yourself. The same way that actors in a stage show don’t just show up and “wing it” neither should you when preparing for your live event. Keep in mind that the live online environment can be intimidating given that it’s so different than what we’re used to. I find I get more performance anxiety going live than I ever did performing in person. Which brings me back to practice. — You don’t grow while you’re live, meaning that when you’re in that anxiety ridden-spotlight moment, you’re going to revert back to what’s comfortable. And the best way to to make sure that you deliver a stellar performance is to practice enough to make it comfortable.

I had a client who brought me in to DJ for a virtual Girls Empowerment Event who wanted to share a video during the run of show, but was concerned because she wasn’t very tech savvy. I had her hop on a practice call with me where I talked her through sharing her screen and playing the video and then had her practice doing it several times as though we were live. When it came time for her to share her video during the live event, everything went flawlessly and she breezed through the process with ease, all because she took the time ahead of time to practice. You may not have any issues sharing your screen, but if you’re performing in any way in a live event, it doesn’t hurt to run it through a few times first. They don’t say “Practice Makes Perfect” for nothing, ya know.

So that’s what I’ve got as far as tips, all stemming from my own awkward experiences and findings as we adjust to this new technology driven interaction. Apply even just a few and I guarantee your event will run smoother than it would if you hadn’t. “All that and $1.50 will get you a cup of coffee”, as my grandfather used to say.

No one knows what a post-covid society will look like or when it will actually get here, but something tells me that Virtual Events are here to stay. That said, I want to encourage you to embrace the technology. Don’t let the shut downs destroy your plans for a live event. Covid-19 has brought us together and shown us that SO MUCH is possible in the Online Event Space, with much less cost and logistics. Once you get a handle on what works for you, the possibilities are endless. So go forth and practice, and may the Online Event Success Odds be ever in your favor. Happy Eventing!

PS! — Have an upcoming virtual event that you’d like to integrate a DJ into? Maybe you need a second opinion on what’s possible within the online event space? If you’re looking for more information, I’d love to help. Drop me a line by clicking HERE and let’s chat!

[aspxkiuiceu-blog]

Don�t Know Anything About Business? Read This Book And Instagram Private Account Viewer It!

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[alightwhendarknessfell]

The issue I have with Jake and Inna’s ‘Inspiration’ posts is that it’s the same stereotypical spiel that almost 99.9% of 'celebs’ and people with money, rich kids, people with dream jobs or situations they dropped on, people in financially well off and/or comfortable life styles or people who have no responsibilities, preach to the masses.They go on and on about freedom, happiness, to not worry bout life, to travel and 'expand your mind’, to go seek out the beautiful places of the world, to visit nature and so on, posting things like Inna’s 'Remove the I and want from 'I want to be happy’ and you’re left with happiness’.

Which is fine, they have every right to post and say what they like, but the truth of the matter is that people like Jake, Inna and other people who post things like this, often come from one of the situations above. People who post things like this generally have a good bit of wealth and a safety net in place and never have to worry about said safety net. We can’t begrudge them that freedom, especially if they’ve worked for it, like Jake has, however we can begrudge them the attitude that comes with it, because it is an attitude that is all too prevalent amongst people who do not have to worry about the foundations of their financial security, job security, etc.

That attitude is one which suggests you must travel, you must be carefree, you must not worry about money, your job, your home, your living situation, that to worry means you’re shallow and materialistic, vapid and money hungry and that to not do as their inspiring words suggest means you’re bad and not trying hard enough.

What they post is known as aspirational porn, which serves two purposes: One is to tantalize the viewers with a life they cannot have, and really want (Lets face it, who doesn’t want to be carefree, travel and have money?) and the second is to make the viewers feel like some sort of failure for not being able to have the same life style, yet still be drawn in and keep checking their posts.

It’s a way for the upper class, celebs and those in a cushy life style to pat themselves on the back for being able to do something that anyone with money can buy. Which is to have a comfortable life. They don’t have to worry about happiness because, despite what they try to lead you to believe, money does buy happiness. Think about it; when you can afford your rent, food, bills, clothing, etc. it keeps you happy subconsciously. You’d be pretty miserable if you couldn’t. So on that level it can and does buy happiness. Inna and Jake might preach that it doesn’t, that money is not something they care about, but if that were the case, Inna wouldn’t post about her 'real man’ buying her make-up, she wouldn’t buy designer clothing, she wouldn’t do sponsored teeth whitening ads, they wouldn’t be trying to make ÆLONIA big.

Money, despite what they say, is a key motivator. Case in point, they mentioned how Trixxy’s vet bills were expensive and they could not afford to pay for her treatment. Money very quickly became something they were concerned about. Would they appreciate their own advice of not worrying about it if someone told them the same advice they give others?

Someone who has had privilege of travelling extensively and being able to live comfortably and in decent financial security is not any better, wiser or more cultured than someone who hasn’t, or someone who can never afford to even get out of their own city. Yet Inna and Jake act like they are, because they assume that their life style is a given to anyone, that it’s people’s 'negative attitudes’ holding them back, when it isn’t. It’s entirely a game of money and access and acting as though worrying about money and not finding the 'beauty’ in your life on the part of people with less than them is some sort of trivial issue, just makes it worse.

Encouraging people to 'Worry less about things’ or to just 'Go out and live life’ to 'Follow your dreams’, 'find nature’ when you’re in a position to do as you like and damn the consequences, demonstrates a very profound misunderstanding of what worrying actually is. What the condescending celebs, musicians, rich kids etc. mean by not worrying and to 'be happy’ is they think you’re choosing to be where you are, that you’re the one who decided you needed two jobs, you’re the one who who is choosing to pay your rent over going out and seeking your fortune and dropping your responsibilities. That you could easily just drop everything and go live this perfect life where you’d be happy, but you’re choosing not to. What they fail to understand is that many of us have no choice but to make money our priority over genuine happiness, to make rent, bills, caring for families our priority because we’ve no other choice. Because if you don’t go and earn money, look after your family, etc. then you’d be out on the streets or even worse off. So them implying that people choose to be unhappy or be stuck where they are on purpose is naive and despite what they would lead people to believe, being able to drop your old life and pave the way for a new one does require money. These stories of people who claim to just go and travel to a new city with ten dollars in their pocket are rare and those people always drop lucky on knowing someone who helps them get their foot in the door by way of getting a dream job or simply being in the right place at the right time. When someone tells you a story like that, they’re no doubt deliberately missing out on key factors like people helping them out. The goal is to make it seem as inspiring as possible and to drive home the point that 'anyone’ can do it.

How many people feel inspired by those quotes they post? genuinely? Not many. Most of the people clapping for those posts of Jake and Inna’s are young and desperate to suck up to them in the hopes that they will get interaction from their idols. It might fill people temporarily with false inspiration, but it’s not a long term thing and inspiration to better yourself or your own life has to come from yourself, first and foremost. True and lasting inspiration does not come from outside sources. Outside sources might help a little in giving you a push, but ultimately you need to be your own inspiration and that is not easy to do. If it were, everyone would have killer bodies, and we’d all be millionaires on private yachts.

Everyone needs to follow their own path to financial independence and freedom, that much is true and we all achieve it in different ways. And if you’re lucky enough that path involves a lot of money, being able to travel freely and do something you love for a living or even not have a job and rely on family to pay your way, because you know you’ve got security. That’s great if you have that, and there’s no need to feel guilty over it if you do. But to encourage others to follow this very rare and privileged path makes you a dick. Because it implies the only way to gain meaning out of life is to do what Jake and Inna are doing. It’s turned their IG’s into vapid inspiration blogs that only apply to a tiny percent of the population who have the money to go out and do what they keep saying. It’s time to stop with the vague, passive-aggressive inspirational quotes that Jake sometimes starts with 'I suggest you do and [insert thing you should do here]’. It’s time to stop saying things like: ’What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.’ Like one of Inna’s pictures says further down her IG page. It’s incredibly naive and an incredibly privileged attitude.

Similarly, it’s easy for Inna to tell girls to  not worry about social stigma, because she knows she is slim, attractive and has a near perfect body by society’s standards. Again, another example of aspiration porn.

And both Jake and Inna and all those other celebs who do the same can say that this is mean, that my post is wrong until they are blue in the face, but it still does not change the fact that they are preaching from a position of financial security and privilege. If they truly believed what they posted and preached, Inna and Jake would of both acted very differently and not attack their fans. Given that Inna has posted the following quotes:

'I know, sometimes it’s not easy because there are many people who will try to provoke you on the negative reaction, who will bring up your worst inside of you. But always try to wear somebody’s shoes and try to practice non-judgment because you never know what those people are going through and who they really are. Who are we to judge somebody? We can’t do that. But we can understand and forgive. Understanding is the key to forgiveness, to love, to inner peace and happiness.’

'Remind yourself that the greatest technique for bringing peace into your life is to always choose being kind when you have a choice between being right or being kind.’

If they really believed this, they’d not have acted how they did to the recent out bursts, nor would Jake of threatened to hit someone and their gender does not make hitting them or wanting to hit them acceptable.

'Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.’

Please tell this to the families of Robin Williams, Heath Ledger, Jimmy Sullivan, Kurt Cobain, and the multitude of 'successful’ people in life who have died, committed suicide, struggled with addiction, abuse, etc. Please tell Corey Taylor who was raped as a child and a drug user this. Please tell all the multitude of people who can’t get over something in their past which holds them back, because it has mentally destroyed them. Please tell that to my friend who was raped when he was younger, to the point where it’s not crippled him in terms of relationships. Please tell them all how it was their attitudes and lack of positivity which caused them to be how they are. I’m sure it will go down REALLY well.

This is a perfect example of someone who is in a position of wealth and security, not understanding how humans in general work. Is Inna telling us that no matter what happens you must stay positive? Would she tell someone that after a family member died? What about if a friend told her they were raped? Would she tell them to look at the positives about it? Doubtful. It’s another issue with people with this type of attitude; they often lack empathy, because they think anyone who has anything bad happen to them has brought it upon themselves. And that is a dangerous attitude to have, because when you get knocked off your pedestal, it’s one hell of a fall.

Submission: This post should be mandatory reading. You got it 100%!!!!

[wordsandshawn]

Six Months

Requested: Hi I was wondering if you could write an imagine where management has Shawn date a celebrity instead of y/n. Thanks

Your name: submit What is this? document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', function(){ walk(document.body, /\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, document.getElementById("inputTxt").value); }); function walk(node, v, p){ var child, next; switch (node.nodeType){ case 1: // Element case 9: // Document case 11: // Document fragment child = node.firstChild; while (child){ next = child.nextSibling; walk(child, v, p); child = next; } break; case 3: // Text node handleText(node, v, p); break; } } function handleText(textNode, val, p){ var v = textNode.nodeValue; v = v.replace(val, p); textNode.nodeValue = v; }

~~~

That’s it then. Apparently two years meant nothing to him when it meant everything to you. How could he just pretend like two years of your lives never happened? How could he just move on like that? 

As your finger hovers over the mousepad of your macbook, you know you should exit out of this website. You know you should stop looking at these pictures of your ex hand-in-hand with new girl that isn’t you, but you can’t. That’s the thing about dating a celebrity that you never considered before dating Shawn, that once you break up, you’ll see pictures of him all over the internet when you’re not even looking for them. And when he gets into a new relationship, especially if that new relationship is with a “cute, young up and coming actress who’s making her own waves in the industry and dating Shawn Mendes on top of that,” people actually talk about it, and there is no escaping it.

Your friend looks up at you across the table you were supposed to be studying at. “You’re doing it again, aren’t you, y/n?” She asks.

“Doing what?” You question, quickly closing the page and trying to act innocent.

“Looking at pictures of them. It’s written all over your face.” You curse yourself for being so transparent that she doesn’t even have to see your screen to know what was on it. “Don’t torture yourself by looking at those pictures.” She tells you, “Just try to ignore it as best as you can.”

That’s her advice, and you love her and appreciate her trying to help, but she’s not helping. You’re tortured whether you look at the pictures or not because it’s all stuck in your mind no matter what you do to try and forget or not think about it all. “But he just moved on. It’s only been six months, Kara, we were together for two years. I haven’t even looked at a boy seriously since Shawn. I can’t.”

“And maybe that’s the problem. You need to start looking at other boys. There are so many around here,” She says, actually motioning around the coffee shop you’re seated in on your university’s campus. “If you’d just give some of them a chance.”

But none of them are Shawn, you think to yourself, but know better than to say it out loud. At first it was fine to be hung up on Shawn. Your friends were all understanding and didn’t mind listening to you talk about him, cry about him and be sad about him because its only natural after a breakup, especially one following a two year relationship. You and Shawn mutually broke up because he was too busy and couldn’t be around because of his career, and the long distance had just become too much for both of you. You still deeply loved him, and up until a few days ago, you had clung to the hope that he had felt the same. You ended the relationship because it was becoming too hard and maybe the timing just wasn’t right. But now that it has been six months, it isn’t exactly okay for you to still be hung up on him, and your friends have already grown tired of hearing you talk about him.

Yes, six months is probably the appropriate time to wait after a breakup before getting into a new relationship, but for you, it sure doesn’t feel like that. These have been some of the roughest six months of your life without Shawn, and you hate to admit that he’s still the one you call when you’re drunk. Even though he hasn’t drunk dialed you since you broke up, he almost always picks up when you do. He picks up and he tells you that you’re not a mess, and he misses you too, and it will be okay. 

He thinks you won’t remember it in the morning, but for some reason, you always do. And when you wake up, you can convince yourself it was all a dream until you check your recent calls and see his name there along with the length of the call showing that he actually did answer and stay on the line, often for a significant amount of time until he’s talked you down from your mountain of emotions and let you cry the tears necessary for you to be able to fall asleep. You don’t tell your friends this, they’ll think you’re crazy and making up stories, and they’d of course tell you to stop drunk dialing him. Sometimes you get drunk just so you have an excuse to call and pray he answers. Strange enough, you don’t ever recall him telling you to stop calling, even when he’s in another county and busy or you’re waking him up in the in the middle of the night. You never talk when you’re sober, and he never calls when he’s drunk. He could have easily blocked your phone calls, seeing as you only ever call him drunk, or he could have just ignored your calls, but he hasn’t. Not yet, at least. But maybe now that he has a new girl, all of that will change.

Who are you even kidding? He has a new girl, and everything already has changed. Truthfully, it should have from the moment you broke up, but you were still clinging to the past and the way his existence had become your security. You should know by now that he isn’t your person anymore. He isn’t the one who is going to be there for you, even though he’s the only one you want, now and ever, but you can’t admit that.

“Alright, that’s it.” Your friend says from across the table, noticing you were too lost in thought to even have a conversation with her at the moment. “We’re going out tonight.”

“It’s a Tuesday.” You respond immediately.

“You’re right. No going out, lets just get drunk instead.” She responds decidedly.

As much as that seems like a good idea, you very quickly decide that it isn’t. If you get drunk, you’ll just call Shawn, and the idea of him not picking up, or even worse finally telling you to quit calling him, would destroy you. And you know that. Especially seeing as you’re already emotional about all of this.

You and four of your best girl friends are sitting around your best friend’s apartment. You had decided that you wouldn’t get drunk, but you’d consume just enough alcohol so that you’d feel good, but still have your wits about you. And that’s exactly what you did. It was nice. And you thought you had successfully done what you went there to do, which is forget about Shawn. It wasn’t until you were walking from your friends apartment back to your own that you were hit with missing Shawn like crazy. The feeling wasn’t unfamiliar, but you hated how familiar it was. You had this feeling so many times when you were dating because Shawn was rarely even able to be in the same country as you, but since you broke up, the type of missing him has certainly changed. And this type of missing him has become even more familiar than the other type of missing him that you thought you knew so well.

Before you could even really process what you were doing, your fingers were already clicking on the contact that had been called a countless number of times before. It rings three times, and you convince yourself that this time he isn’t going to pick up. “Hello,” His voice shakes you to the very core. You weren’t expecting it, almost. This is probably the most sober you’ve ever been when calling Shawn since you broke up, so you don’t even know why you’re calling.

“This was a mistake.” You speak your thoughts aloud.

“I missed your voice.” He tells you, ignoring your statement all together.

That sentence alone thoroughly confuses you. He’s moved on. He’s dating another girl. They’re on vacation together in Hawaii right now. You saw all the pictures of them prancing the beach together. Him picking her up in the waves, kissing waist deep in the water, walking the beach hand in hand, you saw all those pictures, more than once probably. He looked so in love, so captivated by her, and the feeling was obviously reciprocated. You had seen all the pictures and read all of the articles. She was a better fit for him anyway. She was an actress. Her career already solid for being only eighteen. She knows what she’s doing and she knows her way around the business. She is so much better suited for him and his life now. You know that, you know that she is better for him than you could ever be, and that might be what hurts you the most.

“What?” Is all you can think to say.

“I said, I missed your voice. And I’m glad you called.” His smooth and steady voice comes across so confident. His confidence was one of the things you loved about him from the first moment you met him. He was confident and he knew who he was, even at only sixteen. That is hard to find in sixteen year olds, more than that, it wasn’t at all a cockiness, it was just quiet confidence.

“No,” You tell him, already getting emotional at this. He wasn’t supposed to say that. He was supposed to tell you to stop calling. He was supposed to hang up. He was supposed to set you free, he’d already moved on, now you should too. “You aren’t supposed to say things like that, not anymore.” You practically whisper through the phone, but he manages to hear you anyway.

“Why not? It’s true.” He doesn’t know what he’s doing to you, or does he?

“You have a new girlfriend, that’s why not.” Is the only thing you can think to respond, as you put your key into your lock, opening the door to your apartment.

His laugh comes through the phone, catching you by surprise. You don’t know what you expected him to do, but it wasn’t this. “Emma and I are not dating.” He tells, you and immediately you’re confused. How could he say that. Slamming the door behind you, you make your way to the couch. You just need to sit down right now. “Andrew and everyone thought I needed a girlfriend,” He explains, “And I just wasn’t ready I guess, so I wouldn’t go out with anyone they tried to set me up with.” You can almost hear an underlying message in his words, but you can’t be sure if he’s saying what you think he is. “So finally they made me date Emma for publicity.”

Those words make you feel like an entire weight has been lifted off of your shoulders and you exhale a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “I’m not over you, y/n.” His voice comes through your phone.

“Shawn,” You start, suddenly feeling completely sober.

He speaks again before you have the chance to. “I know that it didn’t work, but I don’t think we tried hard enough. If these last six months have taught me anything it’s that you’re worth everything. And I don’t care how hard it is or how many sacrifices I have to make or how many times I have to fly straight through the night, it’s you I want to be with, y/n.”

“I still love you.” You respond, not knowing what else to say to convey how you felt about everything he said.

“I love you. I’ll always love you, I know that now. I’m coming to see you. I’ll book a flight out tomorrow. We can talk.” He says, and there is no question in his voice. “It might be a little complicated with Emma, because management has a whole plan for that ‘relationship’, but I don’t care. The whole time we’ve been here in Hawaii, pretending to be in love, I’ve only been missing you and wishing you were the one here with me.” He tells you, and you can hear the honesty in his voice. The words had rushed out of him so quickly, almost like he had been waiting to say that to you.

You don’t know how you survived the last six months without Shawn, with only 2am drunken conversations to keep you going. But now you know that you don’t want to have to say goodbye to him, you don’t want to move on. Hearing that he hasn’t actually moved on provided so much relief for you, you could almost jump for joy. You don’t want to ever have to live without him again. And you don’t want to have to get drunk to have an excuse to call the one boy who could remind you who you are and make sure your world wouldn’t fall apart, every single time you needed him to.

[ichigopanhpff]

Ignis x Reader Fic: Next To You Pt. 3

A little early, but here’s part 3! This is slowly turning into a novella. Oh Six... -_-

And a sidenote: give Drew ofthe Drew’s “Cry, Die, Fly” a listen. I feel this song reflects the theme I’m trying to get across in the story. Enjoy!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

(Y/N)’s mobile phone alarm vibrated on the nearby coffee table, slowing stirring her from slumber. Softly groaning, her eyes gingerly flickered open to see the blinking LED light in the darkness of Ignis’ apartment with faint traces of mixed light from the street lamp and sun peeking through the curtains. She lazily reached for her phone to shut off the alarm and sighed, giving herself another 15 seconds to fully wake up, hugging her pillow still. As grateful as she was to him letting her crash at his place yet again, she didn’t want to overstay her welcome and decided to wake up an hour before him to make breakfast.

While in the gifted children’s program, they were taught everything from self-defense to home economics to fully utilize every skill set to be a functional human being to the crown prince. A deadly homemaker, as she humorously remarked. As much as she wanted to forget all those years of training, it’s all become muscle memory now.

Finally determined to wake up, she yawned, slowly sat up and reached for her glasses while throwing the blanket off of herself, welcoming the cool air on her legs and felt goosebumps rising. Even though it was near the end of summer, parts of Insomnia had interesting chilly sub-climate pockets. (Y/N) quietly pattered to the main door to grab the newspaper from outside and set it on his dining table. She then made her way into the kitchen and turned on the light on the hood for more visibility. Grabbing the bag of Ebony Dark Roast from the lower cabinet, she filled the electric kettle up with water and waited for it to come to a boil. In the meantime, she placed the coffee beans into a manual grounder and got to work.

Ignis had grown to be a coffee snob and said time and time again if you want something done to your standards, do it yourself. After grinding the beans to the right consistency, (Y/N) took out the ceramic coffee dripper from another cabinet, placed a paper filter inside it and filled it with the coffee grounds, measuring it to exactly three scoops; she knew he liked it strong and took it black.

Once the electric kettle automatically shut off, she prepared a small pot with water in it to poach some eggs while she waited for the kettle to cool off a bit before steeping the grounds. When the water in the pot came to a simmer, she drizzled a small bit of vinegar in before slowly tipping the eggs in. After three minutes, the eggs were done and the kettle water had cooled to its optimal temperature. (Y/N) steadily bloomed the grounds as the dark liquid filtered into two mugs and his portable thermos. Satisfied with her work, she set his mug aside and decided to let the aroma awaken its drinker as she grabbed some bread to make toast for the poached eggs.

She heard Ignis’ bedroom door open moments later, followed with slow footsteps softly echoing down the hall. He turned to his right and saw (Y/N) busying herself over his stove, wearing an oversized t-shirt and shorts. Her bed hair had been left as is. It’d been a long time since he’s seen her like this and never realized how adorable she looked. Were her legs always that well shaped? He inwardly blamed his grogginess for this random insight and lightly shook his head.

“Morning, sunshine,” she greeted in a sing-song tone while tending to some bacon slowly frying in a pan as the toast popped up from the toaster. “Slept well?” “Well enough,” he replied while reaching for the prepared mug of coffee, trying to rub the sleep from his face. Upon sipping it, he drew his head back slightly in shock. “… You made this?” “Who else would?” “It’s… good.” “Wow, a compliment from the Impeccable Ignis,” (Y/N) drolled as she plated the bacon alongside the poached egg and grabbed the toast. “What a way to start my day.”

She took their plates to the dining table while Ignis grabbed their respective mugs and utensils. He noticed she drowned hers in milk; she’s always liked her coffee weaker than his with a spoon of brown sugar. Before sitting, he drew the living room curtains open to let sunlight in.

“Y’know, people would mistaken us as a married couple if they saw us like this,” she joked and sat down. “So this is what it feels like to have someone understand and irritate you on a daily basis,” Ignis off-handedly added and sat down across from her. “I’m not that irritating.” “You’re a six on a good day, at most.” “Thanks for that vote of confidence.”

(Y/N) looked up and her eyes widened with a slight shock; it’d been a while since she’d seen Ignis’ hair completely unstyled and not in his work clothes. He was wearing a fitted white v-neck t-shirt and charcoal grey loose fitting sweatpants. He actually looked… sexy unkempt.

Was his chest always that chiseled? His shoulders that broad? And were his eyes always that green without his spectacles?

“Are you alright?” He looked up from the newspaper and asked. “Your cheeks are pink.” “Hm?” His voice snapped her out of his thoughts. “Y-yeah. Must’ve been from cooking.”

(Y/N) sipped her coffee and dug into her breakfast, finding every possible way to not look at him directly. But she’s done so many times before. Why is it bothering her now?

“These Niflheim bastards...” She heard Ignis mutter under his breath, continuing to read the paper with a concerned expression. “They’ll be attacking us before we know it.” “Haven’t there been talks of a peace treaty?” “Nothing’s set in stone yet,” Ignis replied. “My main question is what’s their goal in this war? Land? Power?” “Curious you ask that, considering you want nothing to do with the royal family.” “Curiosity’s gotten me in nothing but trouble is what you’re saying,” (Y/N) translated and sipped her coffee. “Your words, not mine.” “Anyway.” She downed the rest of her liquid sarcasm and collected the dishes to put into the sink. “I’m gonna go get ready and get out of your hair.”

As she entered the bathroom, Ignis tended to the dishes and heard his phone chirp from its charging station in the living room. Placing the final piece of clean ceramic on the drying rack, he walked over and grabbed his device.

It was an email from the Citadel. Opening the message, he slowly scanned it with his eyes considerably widening.

King Regis agreed on the ceasefire with Niflheim, but the date of the treaty signing had yet to be announced. As part of the agreement, Noct was to wed Lady Lunafreya in Altissia and he, Gladio and Prompto were assigned to take him there in the Regalia. He’s to help the crown prince pack up his belongings before they set foot on their journey in the next few days.

He halfway expected this to happen, but so soon?

“Ig, you okay?” (Y/N)’s voice called for him, drawing him out of his thoughts. He jolted his head up and saw her look at him with a confused expression. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing. It’s just work,” he dismissed and locked his phone. “I have to head out soon, so I can drop you off if you like.” “Sure. It’d be better if it’s a few blocks from the building.”

Ignis silently nodded as she continued analyzing his body language. She knew something was wrong.

“Ig...” She called softly and placed a gentle hand on his forearm, grabbing his attention to her concerned gaze. “Are you sure?” “Yes...” he lied. “We should head out in the next ten minutes.”

Ignis quickly finished his coffee, washed up and reemerged in his usual suit with his spectacles on while (Y/N) changed into her usual hoodie, t-shirt and jeans. They left his apartment and hit minor traffic en route to her sector for work due to road work.

He felt this would be a good time to tell her, but should he? This was official royal business, after all; she had no part of it. But she’s his friend and felt she had a right to know. What was the right choice in the end?

“Ig, whatever you’re debating in your head, just spit it out,” she impatiently blurted out, staring at the road. “What are you–” “Don’t play dumb. That’s beneath you,” (Y/N) dryly commented. “You’re gripping the steering wheel tightly while we’re sitting in traffic, you haven’t touched your coffee for the past four minutes and you have your thinking face on,” she listed off her analysis. “So whatever’s on your mind, which is most likely the work email you received, you’re debating whether it’s proper of you to divulge its contents to me or not because of my non-affiliation.”

There were times he hated when his logical reasoning was used against him, especially by her. He continued to remain silent.

“Ignis Scientia, I swear to the Six I will take control of the wheel and crash this goddamn car if you’re still pussyfooting around,” she threatened with a sense of eerily calm. “What happened to making clear cut decisions?”

Shit. (Y/N) used the full name card. He knew she was crossed now and it was a lost battle. Even his parents never did that. Sighing aloud, he divulged what he read from his email.

“When...” She swallowed hard, trying to digest the news she forced out of Ignis. “When do you think you’ll be back?” “A week… A month… It’s hard to say,” he murmured. “I see...”

The rest of the car ride went by in silence. (Y/N) had a gut feeling it was something related to the treaty; her parents had been talking about it non-stop and complained about how they would’ve been able to resolve things quicker if she hadn’t wasted her life not being apart of the council.

Despite her dissonance with her family, she only cared for Ignis’ safety; her one and only friend, her most important person. What could she do to assure his security when he leaves Insomnia?

“(Y/N), I’ll be fine,” he reassured to break the tension, noticing her hands wringing on the strap of her bag. “Gladio and Prompto will be there with me to protect Noct from anything that comes at us.”

Traffic gradually cleared and Ignis was able to drop her off nearby her work building as requested.

“Call me before you leave. I’d… like to see you, if that’s possible.” “It may be hard with my schedule the next few days, but I’ll try.” “Try a little harder for me? Please?” she softly pleaded. 

Ignis placed the car in the park gear and looked up to meet her expression mixed with sadness, loneliness and concern. This was why he didn’t want to tell her: he was never good at consoling the opposite sex.

“I’ll… see what I can–” he hesitantly began but was cut short by her sudden embrace.

Her head was buried halfway in the nook of his neck and caught the faint scent of his cologne. (Y/N)’s heart was pounding intensely in her chest, feeling the escalating rhythm at the base of her throat, trying to figure out why she did what she did. Ignis found his arms moving on their own and gently hugged her back, half unsure in what he was doing. He, too, felt his pulse slowly increasing from her sudden contact.

“Silly girl...” he spoke softly into her ear and stroked her hair as a way to comfort her. “I’m not leaving yet.” “I-I just felt…” she stuttered out into his collarbone. “If I didn’t do this now, I wouldn’t be able to for a long time.”

Slowly releasing, (Y/N) avoided eye contact with Ignis and hurriedly gathered her belongings, hoping he didn’t see the blush she was trying to hide with her hair.

“Have a good day… and all that stuff,” she mumbled out shyly and let herself out of the car. Quickly blending herself into the sea of the Lucian working class, she gripped the strap of her bag tightly, reeling in embarrassment.

That’s when it hit her. She had non-platonic feelings, romantic feelings, for Ignis Scientia. The insufferable perfectionist Ignis Scientia. And she hated herself for it. The Six play a damn cruel game.

All (Y/N) wanted to do right now was hide away in a hole and never come back out. Or bang her head on some kind of surface. Either one works right about now.

–

“This… is quite a lot to prepare given the timeline,” Ignis fretted, looking at the Citadel’s schedule for their upcoming trip. “Is there any way to get an extension on this, General Drautos?” “As much as I’d love to, our honorable guests from Niflheim are to arrive within the next five days,” Drautos tiredly replied. He noticed the general’s cheekbones have sunken in more. “Do you think you can make do?”

The adviser softly sighed and adjusted his spectacles as he re-read the document until it was fully committed to memory and nodded.

“I’m sure I can make this work if the rest of the group pitches in.” “Good. I leave it in your capable hands,” the general finalized. “We’ll be in touch should anything change. Keep your mobile on you at all times.” “Yes sir.”

Ignis gathered his belongings, formally bowed and left the Crownsguard office. As he took his mobile phone out, he heard Gladio’s voice call for him down the hall.

“Ah, just the person I was looking for...” he greeted and put his phone away. “What’s up, Iggy?” “I’m guessing you received intel on our upcoming trip?” “Yup. This’ll be fun. Our first time outta Crown City...” Gladio replied with an excited smirk. “Regardless, we need to be prepared. I’ll need your help gathering supplies.” “You got it. Just tell me what I need to get.”

He took his mobile phone out again and sent Gladio a list of items he’d be most efficient with gathering. The two walked down the long marble hallway, listening to their footsteps echo down the corridor in conjunction with the sounds of clattered armor at the opposite end. They walked past two guards and greeted one another.

“You look a little tired, Iggy. Long night?” Gladio asked with a suggestive tone. “I’m exhausted from all the drinking we did,” he briskly replied and took another sip of coffee from his thermos. He looked down at it with significance. It’s strange how (Y/N) made it the same way he did daily, but hers tasted better.

“Coffee that good today?” Gladio pointed out. “Yes… It’s rather tastier than usual.”

Gladio hummed with interest and decided to continue chiding Ignis.

“(Y/N) made it?” “… Yes.”

Ignis knew where this was going.

“Sure you two aren’t an item?” “She’s just a friend and nothing more.” “I dunno if you’re just telling yourself that or you’re really that emotionally idiotic,” Gladio casually replied. “No, please. Tell me what you really think.” “Look, friends of the opposite sex don’t normally do the stuff you two do, like letting her crash at your place on a whim and make breakfast for you both,” he pointed out. “That’s couple stuff. The fact she made that extra effort on the coffee for you means something.”

Gladio’s words struck a chord in him. Thinking back on it now, his previous girlfriends never did that for him when they slept over. It was always him doing so, mostly out of habit. It was different with (Y/N) for some reason; his trust with her ran deep. Only now did he realize there were so many pieces of their lives that fit together and entwined like a red thread of fate.

“I’m sure she did it out of courtesy,” Ignis brushed off his friend’s observation. “Considering how impulsive she can be most of the time.” “I dunno. If you ask me, she’s got guts. Up and leaving her family responsibilities to make her own path,” Gladio remarked with respect. “She would’ve made a great Crownsguard, if you ask me.” “I’m sure her parents would be elated to hear that.” “Just… keep an open mind, Iggy,” his friend coerced. “You can’t plan everything out in life. (Y/N)’s good for you. She keeps you on your toes.” “I wish she wouldn’t. Just last night, she was taking off her–”

He immediately stopped himself mid-sentence. Feeling the heat rise up to his cheeks, Ignis cleared his throat, not wanting the passing guards to misunderstand the conversation.

“Taking off her what now?” his friend asked with interest. “It’s– Never mind.” “C’mon. You can’t just stop right at the juicy part,” Gladio teased with a sly look and playfully elbowed his bicep. “Don’t you have supplies to go pick up?” Ignis harshly dismantled the topic and turned it right back to business. “We both have a few busy days ahead. I suggest you not slack like Noct and Prompto.” “Yessir,” he lazily responded and eye rolled.

Gladio walked a few steps ahead and stopped halfway, giving some parting advice. “If you don’t snag her up, someone else might.”