#which is why they constantly touch on how deeply flawed they are

[gch1995]

Not to mention the fact that George Lucas change their stance all the time. However, yeah, even my boyfriend doesn’t like Anakin or Luke Skywalker because he thinks they are annoying, but loves Obi-Wan Kenobi. For the most part he does also think the prequels suck because the writers made the Jedi Order so awful, and he thinks Hayden Christensen couldn’t act. I don’t think Christensen was amazing in the prequels, but I think a lot of it came down to bad dialogue and poor script writing, rather than a lack of ability on his part.

To be fair to the Jedi apologists, I don’t really think most of them would actually ever be okay with child abuse, child neglect, committing and/or enabling war crimes and systematic abuse, trafficking children for warfare in an army cult, or telling major lies to get their way “for the greater good” on a regular basis, if at all, in real life. I think it’s just easier for them to let themselves get lost in the badly written fantasy that Star Wars became because both Lucas and many of the writers behind it can’t be objective.

For those of us who have spent a lot of time analyzing fictional, literature, and stories for coherency, growth, meaning, relatability, and symbolism, rather than just surface level entertainment, such as authors, bookworms, English lit majors, and media critics, it’s harder for us to get invested in the story when the characters don’t grow, they don’t get treated fairly, double standards exist, the narrative is inconsistent, and the “heroes” only seem to be able to have that role at all because their enemies are worse.

Plus, while Obi-Wan and Yoda absolutely were deceitful and shady with Luke in the OT films, if you were to ignore the existence of the prequels, I could understand being willing to hand-wave it as a one time “shitty, but justified” decision. If I had never seen the prequels, personally, it still would have always bugged me that Obi-Wan and Yoda never seemed too apologetic about it, but I’d be willing to still let it go. After the prequels, though? No way. The Jedi were the lesser of two evils, not good guys.

Are their crazy Jedi fans on Tumblr and the internet? Sure, but the majority of the ones I’ve met in real life seem to understand that they would suck as people from a real life perspective. They just would rather not think too deeply about how fucked up they are within the confines of a fictional universe written by authors who intend for the audience to view them as “heroes” because they are the lesser of two evils within it.

i think the Jedi-Positive and Jedi-Critical stances can be summed up on whether you value authorial intent or authorial execution.

Most of the Jedi-Positive people I follow quote George Lucas and director commentaries to prove their points, as well as utilize analyses from others at LucasFilm that have to keep the general status quo. It's all based on what Lucas was trying to portray, while ignoring the product in execution.

The Jedi-Critical stance tends to look at the prequel execution, and they question the obvious uncomfortable moments that have real-life parallels to atrocities. They tend to be more Legends fans, whose writers actually delved into the terrifying implications. It's all on criticizing execution while disregarding intent.

Like, take the argument about Jedi children. A Jedi-Positive person would argue that all the children are all given up with consent from their parents; this is what I am sure Lucas was intending to portray. A Jedi-Critical person will look at this and go "wait. how much 'consent' was in this encounter? the government can legally take these kids and have a representative show up to a farmer's house and tell the farmer they can technically say no? that is some bullshit." And there is real-life evidence for this. It's more on the execution.

Or the argument about love. Jedi-Positive people turn to Lucas's interview to show that they really meant it in the Buddhist sense, and if you value intent that works. Jedi-Critical people would argue that the marketing states that the Jedi cannot love, and nothing in the movies states that the Jedi meant non-toxic love when they eschew attachments.

They're both valid positions, but I think a lot of fandom brutality comes from not understanding either view, or demeaning one view in favor of another. It's perfectly acceptable to value one over the other.

[lolitakirstein]

a/n: ooof this turned into a damn text thread i'm sorry.and mostly eren POV, shitty editing this is going to have to be in multiple parts. I'll get part 2 up ASAP. :)

Eren reached for his phone, brows furrowing. It was odd for him to ever hear an alert from it, let alone a text notification. He had made it that way. Cutting off communication to most, keeping conversations to a bare minimum with those who were close...well...more at arm's length...maybe further than that.

If I keep people out, they can't hurt me. they won't know I'm such a fucked up person.

He flipped his phone over, reading the text.

You: hey eren :)

His heartbeat kicked up seeing your name on his phone. You seemed to be the only person who would reach out without being talked to first. Of all the people in his "friends" group, it was you who seemed the less likely to judge...if he ever got that vulnerable with you. Which he doubted he would, you deserved better than someone as fucked up at him. But when you looked at him, he sometimes felt that you saw past his flaws.

His fingers hovered over the screen unsure what to write, finally settling for a simple "Hey."

You: How are you? I haven't seen you in a while.

It was true, you hadn't seen each other in weeks. The last time being a get together for the end of summer.

Eren: I'm fine..just minding my own business as usual."

You: well you can mind your business and still not be a stranger :)

the lighterheardness of your message made him actually smile. The thought that you are wanting him to be closer though...that makes him nervous. He doesn't want you to look at him differently if he got any closer.

Eren: I wouldn't mind that

You: Well lets plan a hang out or something :)

Eren paced his living room. Were you being flirty? or just friendly? or maybe even pitying him? How was he supposed to go about this...play along? he wanted to. Fuck he wanted to get closer to you. But that voice in his head told him it would end in disaster.

"Fuck it," he said aloud to the room

Eren: Maybe we could go for ice cream, yeah?

You: that sounds fun!

Eren waited to respond, not wanting to seem to eager, but he had come this far he might as well go for it...

Eren: would you like to later today?

the minute he sent it, he regretted it. Too soon, too desperate, too overbearing.

You: I can't today. Me jean and connie are going downtown to the bar. I've already backed out twice ugh

His heart dropped at that fucking name

JEAN

He knew you and jean were friends, closer than you and him were, but it still boiled his blood that you were going out with him...even just as friends. He knew how jean got when he was drunk. Hell he knew how jean acted sober especially around you. Hanging around, shameless flirting, playfully tugging your hair as he'd pass behind you.

Eren:Why the fuck are you going with horseface. Hes a creep, he just wants to use you I hate how he touches you Alright, have fun.

He breathed deeply. Calming himself before he could get any angrier at the situation. Yes, he knew it was wrong to get mad at you for going out. But why did it have to be with Jean. He hoped Connie would keep an eye on you and him at least.

*4 hours later*

Eren was lying on his couch, the tv going, but honestly his thoughts were constantly on you being out there at some cheap bar with Jean. No doubt his fucking horse hooves all over you. What were you doing? what was he doing? what were you wearing?

Is she thinking of me?

His resolve to not text you the rest of the night crumbled at last. Reaching for his phone he thumbed to your name and typed

Eren: Hope you are having a fun night.

After what seemed like an eternity but was really only 10 minutes, he saw you begin to reply. His heart kicked up.

you: Heyyyy. I'm a bit buzzed but im havn fun. connie and jean are doing karaoke save me lol

He smirked at your jumbled reply and the thought of jackass jean doing karaoke thinking he's hot shit.

Eren: i'm sure that's a sight. What those dipshits singing...or attempting to sing

you: connies in his missy elliot era rn. Jean just serenaded me with some taylor swift.

Eren clenched his jaw. He knew you were a secret swiftie as much as you tried to act like you werent, he'd catch you humming it. Now it seems Jean is also aware of your little secret.

Playing cool he replies, "Never took that asshole to be a swiftie."

you: me neither, it's definitely the booze

Eren: How much more drinking do you guys plan on doing?

You: I'm tapping out after this one

An attached photo came along with your text. It was dimly lit but he could make out the shape of a dozen or so shot glasses empty on the table and your hand holding your last one up for the camera. And there, blurry but still visible, right in the corner was Jean...his hand on your leg.

DAMN HIM

He feels every emotion rush through him: anger, jealousy, possessiveness, sadness. He heartbeat pounded in his ear.

Eren: What's with Jean being all handsy?

He hoped that sounded subtle and not like a psychopath...with yes he was probably acting like one. Even going so far as to zoom in on the photo to see how far up your leg jeans hands were.

you: Probably to keep from falling over.

You were playing it off like it was no big deal?!

Eren: That doesn't look like the ideal place to put his hand to keep from falling over."

you: Lol. you know how he is when he is drunk...all...lovey

At this point, red is all Eren sees. He doesn't care if he comes off like an asshole or possessive anymore. How could you be so oblivious and naive that Jean was doing this intentionally.

Eren: Doesn't that piss you off that he gets all handsy like that? He shouldn't be allowed to touch you, even if he's drunk.

No going back now. Whatever progress eren had thought he had made with you would certainly be gone after this show of anger. His true self. Fuck it he didn't care. This is why he stayed to himself. In one evening, you had stabbed him in the heart...

Part 2 sneaky peak:

"You know i can't be like him right?" "I don't want you to be like him...I want you to be like you."

thanks for reading :)

[the-badger-mole]

Hi! Been loving your blog and writing!

I really like your characterization and opinions of A.ang. It’s nice to read fan fic and blogs that just gets it. Down the road and back again was just *chef’s kiss*. (Also uncharted waters I’m loving! I never know what to expect and each chapter is so good)

Anyways I was wondering if you have any head cannon’s of what a K.ataang marriage would look like? For me I imagine it being it being extremely passive aggressive, also A.ang is really selfish so that definitely would hurt their marriage. It’s kind of like the opposite side of the toxic coin with M.aiko being a screaming match and in your face constantly breaking up, K.ataang would be toxic but it’s quite and they would try to save face in public. I don’t know What do you think?

I kind of touched on it in Choices and Consequences, but I picture it being a lot of Katara swallowing her feelings and being a single mother to four children. I don't believe she was ever actually in love with Aang. She may have tried to tell herself she was, but I think the only reason she ended up with Aang is because she felt like she owed him. Kataang was unhealthy on both their parts, and while I do tend to focus on Aang (because he's awful, and I will not ever stop pointing that out), I think Katara was guilty of putting him on a pedestal. She knew the Avatar would save the world, and I think that's why she ignored Aang's flaws. Everyone wanted to end the war, but for her, it was a deeply intense and personal desire, and the Avatar would be the one to deliver that. It's a lot of pressure to put on a 12 year old who grew up slow in a world without war, and she knew that. On some level, Katara was aware of how much pressure Aang was under, which is why I think she was so insistent on everyone being gentle with him, even though they didn't have that kind of time. Then when he actually did end the war (he didn't, at least not alone, but the show refused to give credit where it was due) Katara felt some sort of obligation towards him and called it love.

Katara is a smart, passionate girl, and she would've wanted a partner who would appreciate that and respect her thoughts, feelings and opinions. The glimpses of her relationship with Aang in the early comics show me that she didn't have that with him. Aang didn't respect her feelings over those of his fangirls. He ignored her discomfort, and even thanked her for understanding why he needed to connect with those girls who were being horribly disrespectful because "sharing his culture"🤮. It wasn't their treatment of her that upset him. It was them doing something that offended him personally.

Meanwhile, Katara had to swallow her own feelings and smile through it all. That's how I see their relationship going. I think Katara might have convinced herself that he respected her thoughts and opinions because he relied on her as a caregiver and he took her everywhere, but I think as he grew into his own, he would've expected her to step back and be contented to be a homemaker/broodmare while he did the important Avatar work, which is why I think Katara wasn't present in that scene in LoK where bloodbending was banned, even though she was ostensibly the only other bloodbender in the world, but Aang was front and center. It's also my theory on why when Aang was about to go all in on pushing for anti-miscegenation, instead of her telling him that it would be a bad idea because of the effects it would have on the families and communities Aang would be separating, she appealed to how it would affect him.

I don't think their marriage would be passive aggressive. I think Katara would just make herself as small as possible and do her best to keep the Avatar happy and on track because that's what she owed him. She'd have moments of acknowledging her deep unhappiness and regret, but she wouldn't dwell on it. And she would convince herself she was content to be a devoted wife and mother, and nothing else.

[galar-abortion-clinic]

🍀🧠🥊🎓 For Jules, Mauly, and Rory! Just curious about these three!

(Jules is getting his own post since someone else asked about him, so stay tuned. Same twat time, same twat channel)

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Conceptually, both Mauly and Rory are two sides of the same coin. At first I only had Mauly, but I decided to extract a few traits from her and squelch those out into their own character so that her personality wouldn’t feel so totally neutered by incompetence. She’s a little more idealized, whereas Rory is my worst fear of what I could turn out to be, or how other people might perceive me

Mauly is impulsive, brash, self-serving, and arrogant. She’s unapologetically angry, horny, and human. Rory is all of those things, but deeply insecure and constantly overcompensating. He’s pathetic and he makes me sick. Basically he boils down to “sid vicious if he were a bit less of a dick, purely because he’s subdued by cowardice”

Design-wise? Kalos’ rendition of the Punk Guy/Girl trainer class, man. I fell in love instantly. Also this one specific tank girl page:

Good shit

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Mauly takes no shit. Sure, that might mean she leaves a bad taste in some people’s mouths, but she knows when she deserves to be treated better. Something I’ve always struggled with has been not standing up for myself because I’m worried it’ll hurt or inconvenience other people. Mauly says fuck those other people, It’s not my job to accommodate anyone else’s existence by minimizing my own. Her whole arc is about self-acceptance through ambivalence. “Even if i don’t love myself, i can’t change who I am. You’re not going to change me either, and you look stupid for trying”

Rory’s best use to me is catharsis. I’ve shoved all the shit I hate about myself into this guy and exaggerated it by queefzillion, and it feels reassuring to see him being knocked down a peg for behaving like a little wart. It also feels kind of nice when he still manages to find occasional kindness in spite of his many, many glaringly hideous flaws.

🥊 - What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Mauly was one of those kids who every adult in her life would describe as “so creative” and “a free spirit”, which is actually grown-up code for “this poor bastard’s gonna be a starving artist and we’re hiding our disappointment”. If she had the means to create more often, she’d have a lot of fun honing her craft and fully leaning into art as an outlet for her angst

Because she’s so hands-on and skilled at improvised patching and the like, she often gets stuck with repair responsibilities by the other schmucks she lives with. She doesn’t mind slapping duct tape over stuff several times over or whacking things with a hammer til it fits right, she just would prefer not being assigned that job by other people. Never tell her what to do

Rory’s nimble fingers don’t only make him a passable thief, but also a possibly-not-the-worst musician. He’s never played for anyone else, which might be why he kinda sucks, but it’s one of the few things he keeps to himself instead of bloating to give his delicate ego some padding. His songbook is loaded with edgy cringe, but its the sort of raw soul-bearing stuff that reminds you there’s a person in there. Not a great person, but a person

Anyway something he hates doing is uhhhhhh giving to charity,

🎓- How long have you had the OC?

Mauly’s been around ffffforrrrrr i wanna say maybe two years now? For a long time she was just an idea in my head, i didn’t wanna touch that idea til i knew exactly what i wanted to do with it

Rory’s my freshest OC, only been around for like a month. Not even. Could still use some fine tuning

Bonus: some VERY rough first drafts of Mauly that’re a little closer to the source material (excuse the positively grimy state of the paper, i dont take very good care of my sketchbooks)

[presencinglife]

THE 12TH GIFT – DISCRIMINATION

THE SECRETS OF HIGH ART

Discrimination may not sound like much of a gift, but when you truly understand the 12th Gene Key, you will see that it has a great power. To discriminate is to know inherently what and who is healthy for you in life. The energy of vanity is simply self-destructive unless it can be put to good use.

Discrimination is exactly that. You take your vanity — the urge to be better or somehow purer than others — and you turn it into art. The 12th Gift is deeply associated with the arts — with music, with language, with dance, with drama and above all, with Love. The love within the 12th Gift is not universal love (as in the 25th Gene Key) — it is all about falling in love. This is human love with all its attendant drama, obsession, beauty and danger. Vanity is about loving only yourself, whereas discrimination is ultimately about loving the things and people outside yourself that make you feel good.

This 12th Gift is about feelings. If this Gift is a powerful aspect of your hologenetic profile, you will be strongly motivated and moved by feelings and emotions throughout your life. Your Gift is to communicate these feelings to others, and you may do this in a myriad of ways. If you are strongly influenced by this Gift you will recognise the beauty of true expression, which means that you will also recognise when something or someone is not expressing true soul. This can make you one of the best critics of others. However, this Gift is not about criticising flaws and details in others (which is a lower expression of the 18th Gene Key) — it is designed to spotlight that which is not authentic. Discrimination is about being attuned to a higher frequency, which means that it can metaphorically see through walls. Whenever a person is faking or has a concealed agenda, one with the Gift of Discrimination will immediately feel it as a deep discomfort. If they do not fall in love with something, they distrust it, and the same goes for the people in their lives. To such a person, authenticity is everything.

People with the 12th Gift cannot be taken in by the enchanters or idealists in the world. They have a deep respect for purity, and it is rooted in a natural prudence. The programming partner of this 12th Gift is the 11th Gift of Idealism, which means that they too are idealists, but they understand that idealism requires the balance of pragmatism and discrimination; otherwise it is nothing more than a pipe dream. The Gift of Discrimination does set you apart from the crowd — it has no choice in doing so because it is naturally seeking a higher frequency. It represents an aspect of your DNA that is constantly striving for something higher and purer, which means that it directly challenges anything or anyone that is influenced by compromise. Discrimination gives humanity a taste of a higher order operating behind the scenes of life. This is why it so often manifests through true art. They are true art lovers. The 12th Gift does not shy away from anything that is authentic — no matter how messy it may be. These people are the great food discriminators, music discriminators, and language discriminators. They can become the great artists, virtuosos, poets, actors and educators of humanity. Their Gift is to enter unafraid into the drama of life, allowing it to flow through their veins and be expressed through their feelings.

Because of the depth of feeling that this Gift entails, it tells us something profound about the direction of the human species. We are here to learn to express the deepest yearnings and feelings within our souls. This is why we have to master language and the arts — because they are the transformational field through which we can transcend emotion and touch the higher planes. Out of this 12th Gift come humanity’s great educators — those rare people who can allow art to touch their hearts and at the same time transmit that essence to others through their language and expression. Wherever you see true passion moving into the world, there you are seeing the influence of this 12th Gift. It is both sweeping and consuming yet at the same time highly refined. Ultimately these people are driven by the myth of true love — that is what they are yearning for deep within their souls, and it is why their acts and words, at their highest, are a reflection of the beauty and anguish of this human yearning.

Because of its connection with the thyroid system, the 12th Gift contains the great teachings of transformation and death. All high art contains the same codes that come through this 12th Gift — that life is about transformation, and death is the symbolic movement from one stage of consciousness to another. These truths have always been encoded in the great tragedies and comedies down the ages, and it is through your emotional nature that such truths are imbibed and passed on. It is the thyroid system that controls your metabolism and has such great influence on your general energy, mood and breathing patterns. When you laugh or cry you enter the sacred realm of transformation. It is through your laughter and your tears that the transcendent enters your body in order to alter your chemistry and the pattern of your breathing. Of all the Gene Keys, this 12th Gift represents the mythic passage from one state to a higher state in which the stop codon kills your identification with your past, allowing you to be transformed into something permanently and radically different.

Richard Rudd, Gene Key 12

[goetzjpvis]

2/26/24 "Phoenix" JPT3702

A general pattern I've noticed across Tezuka's works is the idea of a minor societal/personal flaw which is then blown up into being the crux of his story's conflict, which is very much something I enjoy! Tezuka's Phoenix is another example of these same storytelling devices, following the lives of several individuals who seek out feathers from the illusive phoenix, several of whom are tasked to retrieve it for the sake of an empress (Queen Himiko) concerned about her looks...!

What does that say about Queen Himiko? As illustrated by the book, Himiko is obsessed with her appearance. She constantly cries about how she is getting older and her wrinkles are showing more, leading her to behave more erratically in order to gain a sense of control. As a result, she orders several generals and those under her army's command to retrieve the phoenix's feathers, in so invading the country of Kumaso.

While on a small scale, this does say that looks are something pathetic to obsess over, it also teaches the important lesson in that you must keep small matters small. Queen Himiko has an insecurity which ends up being the reason for invading and slaughtering another country, which is completely blown out of proportion! In the past, we have seen kings kill their subjects because they looked at them weird, and even now, we can see the invasion of countries for... oil! Tezuka's manga takes a peaceful protest against these matters by displaying how ridiculous Queen Himiko's (and by extention, other's) actions are.

This manga also tackles the individuality complex, which queen Himiko definitely has, and her brother's keen ability to take over the country from within using her insecurity for his own gain. This is likely a lesson to readers to not allow themselves to think they're more special than anybody else, and to not let your insecurities control you. I assume that as a physician who has gone through training, Tezuka must have felt the need at one point or another to conform with his fellow doctors and employees. Perhaps Himiko's brother is a metaphor for society's demands to be "normal"? This would explain why Himiko cracked under pressure so easily from her looks alone.

Another point I want to touch on was the spy, and his invasion of Kumaso. I found it interesting that after everything he did to his wife's village, he ended up simultaneously saving her from the army. I think the dialogue between her and him (in the cave) displayed what I would consider a 'moral weakness' in that he knew it would be wrong to kill his wife's entire family, but he did so anyways, and when faced between a crossroads of his decisions, all he could do was 'save' his wife from a suicide attempt as a means to atone for his selfish decision. He's trying to have his cake and eat it too! This theme I see also in "The wind rises", and this character archetype is seen as deeply flawed. cowardly, and something for those in society to avoid being.

Some funny last things I want to note: Saruta looks literally like a monkey, lol

I also noticed a lot of Tezuka's stylistic choices being derivative of disney..... when the dog was shot in the butt with an arrow early in the story, you could see his "yelp" look like how Mickey Mouse's does when he's struck in the back! I think Tezuka was reading lots of Disney comics and watching their animations when he was writing his own comics!

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

Top five favourite characters with reasons why ?

1. Mobius

She is the character ever. Autistic behavior. Cup noodles addict. My little hiss hiss. My baby rattle rattle. Would stab as a warning. Likes cute animals. Sassy bitch. Nurturing streak. Man-hating lesbian. Would beat up god in a parking lot. She’s even a mom.

Her only “flaw” is that I don’t actually like the color green

2. Mei

Originally I wasn’t a huge fan of her, but she MASSIVELY grew on me thanks to ER. I also enjoy her various event-inspired or fanart-inspired AU versions writers have made up~

She cares a lot and stabs her problems and I love that for both Mobius and her. Sword lesbian let’s go

3. Hua

Hua was my first love in this game, she’s just got SO much lore and she’s been through SO much and I absolutely adore how sincerely she still cares about others. She’s a tortured little meow meow but she stands back up over and over again

Also Shattered Samsara is my favorite animation

4. Elysia

I try to pretend the weird parts of her characterization in EE don’t exist. Elysia in ER is SO fun, incredibly shameless, makes me laugh constantly, gay as fuck, shady as hell but nevertheless incredibly sincere, mary sue subversion (damn you EE for forgetting the subversion part!!), just a living contradiction of a character and ever since last year I was HERE for it.

She’s kinda low because of how EE messed her up for me, ngl, but even with that in mind I’m still incredibly fond of her.

5. Kiana

I like her less than I used to for the very simple reason that her fans have deeply annoyed me through being jerks to some of my friends, BUT. Overall I still like her a lot. She’s fun to bully in stories, she’s a beautiful and passionate character and she’s had incredible growth throughout the story that I’ve found deeply touching. She’s also gay as hell which I always appreciate. I’ve been really happy to see her grow up and she looks pretty beat up!

Honorable mentions, no order in particular:

Vill-V (blorbo!!! babygirl(s). Just suffers from lack of screentime and lots of blank spots backstory wise, else she’d be higher on the list. I love you vivi)

Rita (deserves more screentime but she’s so fun. also looks hot beaten up)

Gray Serpent (they’re creepy they’re hilarious and I’ve loved them more ever since I’ve realized they’re a hivemind of momma’s boys)

Aponia (loved her potential but she didn’t really live up to it due to “yeah we dropped your story arc sorryyy” disease. deserved way more)

ELF Klein (baby…. so small. but so brave. she’d extremely well-written and hilarious. Her relationship with Mobius is MWAH. remember when she tried giving Can the cat cup noodles ;-; I miss her ER sprite somehow it was more expressive than her model…)

[itgirlification]

supermodel (3) | jjk

when you asked jungkook to come over, you didn’t expect it to end this way.

pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader

warnings: unprotected sex, spitting, face slapping, spanking, etc.

now playing: stuck on you by giveon

part one part two

“I just didn't feel like you were ready for a relationship. You still aren’t.”, He said. “Not ‘cause you’re a bad girlfriend, it's because you’re so bad to yourself.”

After the party, you decided to message Jungkook and ask him to come over to talk things through, since there was too much between you unanswered. Now that’s exactly what you’d been doing for the past 15 minutes.

You admired his honesty even though it hurt you.

You were about to open your mouth, but Jungkook made a hand motion to let you know he wasn’t finished talking.

“Do you know how I felt when you always looked down on yourself, always picking fights because you’re too damn insecure to realize that I was only looking at you?”

You looked at him, wondering if he was expecting you to answer so you just shook your head no. You didn’t know how he felt.

Throughout the entire timeline of your relationship, he hadn’t even tried to tell you he was feeling like this once.

Jungkook sighed, clearly not trying to hurt you with what was going to come. “It just made you hard to love. I didn't feel fully loved in our relationship, because if you had so many issues loving yourself, how were you supposed to love me?”

Realizing you’ve never thought about it in that way, you made an astounding facial expression, before finally talking. “But we aren't the same, Jungkook. You’re so easy to love. But I’m not. I’m flawed and I don't think I deserve to have you in any way. Please don’t think I never loved you. It hurts me.”

He jabbed his cheek with his tongue and gazed at you in disbelief. “You missed my point. I’m telling you, you shouldn't be looking for a relationship if you can’t love yourself first.”

Now you were getting a little irritated at him. “Well, that’s easier said than done. You don’t understand what it feels like having people constantly body shame you and having a conventionally attractive partner and people telling you you’re too ugly for them, you don’t deserve them. You don’t get it, because you are the attractive one in the relationship.”

With his clenched jaw and the tightened expression on his face, you knew Jungkook wasn’t having it. “Oh, you know that’s a typical move for you, yn. You love victimizing yourself and being blind to your own faults, acting like everybody else around is doing everything wrong when you don’t even let them express their honest feelings to you. You’re unbearable to talk to, you know that?”

“Of course, I am. Because I’m confessing my fears and my vulnerability to you it’s hard talking to me, right? Like I didn’t spend a total of like what, a year? listening to your sob stories about your childhood trauma and your daddy issues and your drug problems and I didn’t even say a thing about it. I never complained.”, you hollered at him, unfortunately, your anger was getting the best of you.

You were aware of the fact that you shouldn’t have mentioned your ex-boyfriend’s childhood, let alone his unhealthy relationship with drugs. You knew it was his weak spot, but you did it out of anger, you couldn’t control it.

You remembered the first time Jungkook teared up in front of you while talking about how his father mistreated and abuse him and his mum and how he started abusing drugs at the age of 16.

“Jungkook..”, you moved closer to him after noticing his silence, trying to put a hand over his shoulder. He rejected you by shaking your hand off.

“Nah, don’t ‘Jungkook’ me, you know what you did, don’t try blaming it on the fact that you’re mad at me right now.”, He hissed with flaring nostrils. “That’s what you’ve been wanting to tell me ever since I opened up to you, don’t lie.”

You felt deeply ashamed of the fact that you were getting aroused at the side of this messed-up Jungkook who was standing right in front of you.

Despite your arousal, your ex-boyfriend’s statement had hurt your feelings. You didn't want him thinking that of you, you wanted him to know you supported him and wanted to be his shoulder to cry on. For him to know he could always call you.

“Jungkook, that's not true at all”, your voice softened and you sat yourself on one of his thick thighs, gently taking his face into your hands. “You know I love you and I’m just frustrated, that’s the only reason why I said that. You can talk to me about anything.”

You started to lightly grind against his thigh, contemplating whether you wanted him to notice or you didn’t.

Jungkook started chuckling as he felt your pulse on his thigh. “You know sex isn't gonna solve all of our problems, right?”

His demeanor always changed when he'd notice you were needy. One thing about your relationship you never complained about was your sex life.

“I know, but it would solve a lot of them right now”, you breathed out, grabbing a handful of his dick, making him hiss.

“I don't think you deserve dick after what you said.”, Jungkook looked at you with a serious gaze. “Stand up.”

You were confused at his sudden demand but obeyed regardless.

“Now lay on my lap, facing down.”, He demanded again and you did as he said.

Not knowing what was going to happen, you were just all up in his lap, trying to figure out what he was going to do. Your hair was wild as it went in all directions, while you were bent over.

Before you knew it, a firm hand was applied to your backside, giving it an unexpected slap. “I think you've been getting a little brave these days, hm?”

“Wha.. what do you mean?”, you sounded like you were gasping for air.

“Already outta breath when I barely touched you, huh?”, he chuckled at your desperate state before dragging his big hand along your ass cheek, teasing you before applying pressure and spanking it, causing it to jiggle. You loudly groaned at that.

“Shush, you’re lucky I’m only using my hand and not this belt.”, Jungkook said with a daring stare.

Your face felt flush and the burn you felt on your ass started getting pleasurable. You wondered what you looked like to Jungkook, bent over his knees like that. His spanks were getting heavier with every passing one.

“Jungkook, it hurts so bad”, you whined to him, your face burning.

He inhaled sharply and you assumed he was mad at you. “Didn't I tell you to shut up? Look at me.”

You turned your head to him, sitting on one of his thighs, which caused your ass to burn even more. Jungkook then cupped your cheeks rather harshly, collected enough saliva in his mouth, and spat on your face.

You bit back a moan, slightly startled. Jungkook always wanted sex to be as messy as possible.

He finally took off his shirt, revealing the tattoos that you loved so much. You started touching them, but Jungkook slapped your hand away and smacked you across your face.

You felt overheated by the intensity, also releasing yourself from your shirt, your black lace bra, and your tits spilling out of it. Jungkook thought it was a beautiful sight.

“I hate you”, you whispered stilly, feeling hazy.

Jungkook chuckled darkly. “Sweetheart, you might wanna speak up. Say that again for me.”

“I hate you for always making me feel like shit.”, you said dizzily as you adjusted yourself on his lap. He held your body effortlessly like you were a feather’s weight.

You started making out sloppily, not without him letting out small moans into your mouth that directly sent waves of arousal through your body.

“I hate you for always starting arguments and playing the victim.”, He breathed out between kisses, hands resting on your ass.

“I hate you for replacing me with that model when you know damn well where you belong.”

The make-out session became more intense with every second.

“I fucking hate you for thinking everything I do is to hurt you.”, he growled against your mouth, making a moan leave your mouth.

“Well, I fucking hate you f-“, you were about to come back at him, but he breathlessly interrupted.

“Shut up”, he groaned into your ear before shoving a hand between your legs and rubbing you.

The frustration in your body built up. “Jungkook, I need you..”

“Where do you need me?”, teasingly, he took his hands away from your pussy. “C’mon, use your big girl words.”

“Inside...”, you felt too dazed to complete a sentence. Jungkook’s hard dick under you was just adding to your frustration.

Before you knew it, he pushed your back onto the bed and ran his hands through his longer black hair before undoing the buttons on his black jeans and taking them off along with the shorts, and leaning forward to kiss you, his strong arms flexing as he did.

He lifted you up and you hook your legs around his small waist, still kissing him. He ran his tongue over your lips after biting them.

After gently throwing you onto the bed, Jungkook laid back and sat you down on his stomach.

You moved southwards and sank down onto his dick, moving back and forth, Jungkook watching his dick disappear into your body. To enhance things, he pulled your hips down a little harder.

Your heavy breathing and the occasional moans that left both of your mouths spread throughout the whole dorm. The pleasure was so intense, you couldn’t talk anymore. You were digging your long nails into his broad shoulders and his back. You were sure it left marks, but you couldn’t care to think about it.

Jungkook leaned in for another kiss, brushing your lips together and sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. “Fuuck, I missed this.”

You kept on going back and forth and bouncing up and down on his dick. The two of you were out of breath.

His dick was buried deep inside of you as he thrusted in and out of your pussy, your hips met and you dug your nails in his back, losing your rhythm as both of your climaxes approached.

Hips stuttering as he fucked into you while your vision faded into black, time slowed just like his thrusts.

“Shit, I’m gonna cum.”, Jungkook warned beforehand in a grunt.

You nodded, indicating you’re cumming too. “Cum inside.”

He initiated eye contact with you to make sure you weren’t just saying that. You nodded.

Your eyes rolled back as you felt his warm liquid enter your body and fire pooling low in your abdomen from your own orgasm.

Positioning yourself on the bed, you stayed there with Jungkook in pleasant silence for a bit.

After a minute or two, the both of you had the energy to stand up again. You freshened up, then made your way to your bed, not before changing the sheets, of course.

Jungkook was in the bathroom for a few minutes, later then got out only wearing his shorts, leaving the rest of his clothes on your pile of dirty clothes you were gonna wash the next day.

“Goodnight.”, Jungkook pressed a loving kiss to your forehead, before jumping into the bed with you, covering his body with the blanket and scooping closer to you.

“You aren’t leaving?”, you tiredly croaked at him with big eyes to which he shook his head no and snuggled closer to you.

Your heart fluttered more with every second that passed. “Goodnight, Jungkook.”

You knew that once you’d wake up and once she’d see you with Jungkook, a loud, disappointed Jane will be heard through the whole apartment complex. But you were too tired to care.

And lastly, when you fall onto the bed and peacefully fall asleep in his strong arms, you weren’t bothered by what's to come.

And so, the cycle continues.

_

taglist: @taeisbae13 @queenmasterxx @jkbangtan7 @jenotation @complicatedjules @gee-nee @tokyorm @yoonievrse @ggukkieland @laurynne5 @miinoongi @kb-bangtanenthusiast @1-in-abillion @sarcasmflowsinmyveins @madygswich @chieftoadturkeynickel @pjmnoir

Thank you everybody for your support. I’m sorry it took such a long time but i got school and stuff. I thought it’d give jungkook at least one redeeming quality so this part wasn’t so depressing. Hope yall like it🖤🖤

[mobagehelllocal]

“you are the best thing, that’s ever been mine”

Hi! If you could can you write the dorm leaders squishing/reacting to their s/o’s soft and adorable cheeks, or just them cupping their cheeks in their hands (like those vids with the dogs fitting themselves in their owner’s hands)

- from Anonymous

A/N: Hi Anon~! Thank you so much for this! I listened to Taylor Swift’s whole Speak Now album to get into the vibe... and “Mine” seemed to suit it... so that’s where the title is from! ... This almost got called Chubby Bunny but... I never liked that game xD

--

"Uwawa~ Riddle this is delicious!” You had hummed, a fork pressed against your lips, and a hand on your cheek as you chewed happily. Riddle was torn between being incredibly pleased or embarrassed at the amount of praise that you were casually throwing at him. 

“Of course!” Riddle decided, as he puffed his chest out and straightened his back. 

“You definitely learnt from last time.” you giggled, as you remembered how he had actually taken Trey’s statement seriously about the oyster sauce...

“That was Trey’s fault.” Riddle defended himself and you giggled again. 

“Either way, this is delicious~” you pop another slice of it into your mouth. “Ish really good~” 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” He scolded lightly, as he brushed a gloved hand at the corner of your mouth to remove pie crumbs. At the action, you beamed at him brilliantly, and his heart melted at how adorable you looked. 

Unconsciously he found himself cupping your cheek as you chewed your pie. You blinked at hm in surprise, and as you swallowed, you closed your eyes and leant your face into his palm. He felt his face flare up in response.

Under the light of the hot afternoon sun, surrounded by the red roses of Heartslabyul and the colorful tea set prepared for the Tea Party...

You--serene, eyes shut, and the way you leant into his touch so naturally--his pulse leapt in response. 

Resplendent.

“You...”

When Riddle began to speak your eyes opened to peer at him curiously. 

“...” 

“Riddle?” 

“I’m glad I met you.” Riddle said, his heart pounded in his ears. 

“Hrm?” 

“If it weren’t for you... I don’t think I could be myself.” 

“You give me too much credit... Ace, Trey, everyone... they were there too.” you laughed lightly, but he shook his head. 

“Yes but... you’re here right now.” he said very quietly, as he reached his other hand to lace with your own. “You’re by my side. You’re my friend, and also my...” here he paused as his blush brightened, and you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face in response. “My lover...” he whispered.

“Thank you.” he smiled gently, “for helping me find who I want to be... and for accepting me as myself.” 

“Silly Riddle.” you giggled as you leant forward to press your forehead against his. “That’s not something you need to thank me about!” 

“So you say but...” 

His eyes fluttered shut, and his heart might be beating fast--but he was at peace with you by his side. 

‘Thank you, [Name]... for being mine.’

--

Leona felt something tickle his nose, which made his whole face twitch. As he jerked his head away from the ticklish sensation, the light of the morning sun hit his eyes, and he blinked rapidly. 

‘Morning.’ he sighed, already exhausted just at the thought of it. When he looked away from the wide windows of his dorm room, he glanced down to see your head lying on his right arm. ‘No wonder I couldn’t move it.’

Since he couldn’t move (not that Leona wanted to move), he decided to watch you until he fell asleep again. He raised a hand and began to brush it through your hair--aimlessly choosing to untangle your hair. He snorted softly to himself as you let out a particularly loud snore against his arm.

He resolved to tease you about it later... but for now.

He spent the morning admiring the way you looked in his arms, in his bed--in his room, greeting the dawn of a new day by his side.

To be honest...

‘It’s not a bad look on you.’ he decided, ‘it’s something I can get used to.’ 

His tanned hand trailed down, from your hair, and cupped your cheek gently--brushing the pad of his thumb against your cheek. 

Your cheek was soft against his touch, and from this close he could see the way freckles dotted your skin. He loved to nap in patches of sunlight, and since you constantly spent time with him--he had, on more than one occasion--dragged you to lie with him under the sun. When his thumb brushed underneath your eye, your lashes twitched.  

“Mhm... Leona...” you muttered, and his ear twitched in response to that. 

“Are you dreaming about me, herbivore?” he asked lowly, at which you didn’t respond. You did however turn your head. Originally you had tucked your head underneath his chin, and had tangled your legs with his at some point in the night. You turned your whole body so that all your back was pressed against the bed--your head still on his arm. 

As the light of the sun illuminated your whole form, he could see the way your eye lashes twitched, but determinedly stayed shut. He chuckled at that. He slowly slid his arm out from underneath your head and moved to straddle you. 

His other hand still cupped your cheek, and he leant down to brush his nose against yours.

He cherished this quiet moment. 

He knew he wasn’t the best person at expressing his happiness with you being by his side. It was just... difficult for him. 

You--ever so kind, and understanding--you knew these things without prompting. You had never demanded more of him than he was comfortable giving--even if (and this is something he would never tell anyone--) he would push himself--if it was something you truly wanted.  

“When did I become so smitten with you?” he asked, underneath his breath as he stared at you--as if your sleeping face held all the answers to his problems.

And wasn’t there a sense of truth in that? 

When he had asked the universe for a mate who would see him--

The universe had delivered you to him. 

Under the morning light of the sun, as he pressed a brief kiss against your forehead, he renewed his promise.

‘You will never be left wanting,’ he thought, ‘you are mine.’

--

You had been standing with Azul next to the huge window of Octavinelle’s Mostro Lounge that peered into the depths of the sea when you feel something enter your eye. 

“Ack--!” Azul’s head whipped in your direction when you start making uncomfortable noises.

“[Name], are you alright?”

“Hngh... Yeah--just--something got in my eye.” You rapidly begin blinking, but the irritation causes you to start crying. Azul twitched at that--he hated seeing your tears. So he reached forward and gently cupped your face in his hand before he leaned in.

“Which eye?”

“This one.” you point at your left eye as you rapidly blink. “Blow please?” 

“Of course.” Azul gently brushed the tears away, as he raised his lips to gently blow at your eye. “How’s that, my love?” 

“Still there.” you said as you blinked again. Azul repeated the process until you finally confirmed that it was gone. 

Azul had chosen not to let you go though, and as you blinked your tears away, he would gently swipe them at them with the pads of his fingers. In the process of that, Azul began to grow lost in thought.

Azul hated your tears as much as he hated his own.

He had always hated that he was quick to cry about almost everything--especially about anything that made him feel upset.

He hated your tears because it meant that you had been hurt. He (and the twins really) always fell into an overprotective state whenever your eyes would turn glassy. 

You--who had chosen him despite all his flaws...

Despite all of his mistakes, his faults, his imperfections...

He had long accepted that he wasn’t worthy of your love, to have your presence at his side.

But for some reason you chose him--you had still chosen him.

It’s because of that, that he was so grateful you were willing to stay by his side. 

The least he could do is make sure you will never cry. 

The least he could do is be the best person he can be, so you would be proud to call him your lover. 

And if in your future you would cry--then Azul will do everything in his power to at least make them tears of joy. 

You stared into Azul’s eyes. You could tell he was a million miles away, deeply reminiscing... 

“See something you like?” He flinched at you suddenly speaking, and realized he’d been holding your face for a socially inappropriate length of time. 

“Sorry I’ll--”

“You mean you don’t like what you see?” 

“That’s-- of course not!” His face brightened, going from the lightest shade of pink to a brilliant shade of red. You giggled in response.

“You--why must you keep teasing me like this?” he sighed, as he rubbed his fingers against your cheeks. “You didn’t use to do this.” 

“I got it from Jade and Floyd.” you chirped back, and you giggled at his angry mutterings of ‘corruptions’ and ‘why I oughta--’

He’s distracted from his ramblings when he felt you lace your fingers with his hands. 

“Such gentle, caring hands.” you hummed. “the hands of the one who makes me happy.”  

You thought it was impossible for his blush to intensify--but it did. 

The way your eyes fluttered close in bliss, the happy smile on your lips and the way that the ocean’s waves illuminated your skin made him think--

‘You belong here, right by my side.’ 

“I’ll,” he paused as he cleared his throat, He blinked rapidly, and hoped that he wouldn’t start crying. “I will do my best to be someone who can make you even happier.” 

“I’m already happiest by your side Azul.” you beamed up at him, your eyes contained the endless depth of your love, and he felt like he could drown in them. “Just never let go.” 

“I have no plans too.” He said, serious, at which you giggled.

“I think this is the part you kiss me.” you said, all cheeky, and though the red on his cheeks flare up again, he leant down to kiss you.

If Azul used contracts to make a deal with other people--what you had were his kisses. 

Azul’s tender kisses were his promises to you--of never letting go, and of happiness in your relationship. 

--

"Do you like the food [Name]?” Kalim beamed at you, and you couldn’t help but beam back--your cheeks filled with tasty treats from the Land of Hot Sands.

“Mhm! Kalim ish good!” Kalim only laughed at how adorable you were when you spoke with a mouth full. 

“I’m glad you like it!” Kalim nodded happily as he too began to eat, “Jamil cooks very well after all.” Jamil twitched as he was mentioned, and when he looked up from his meal, he’s instantly blinded by both of your brilliant smiles.

“Jamil! Thanks!” Jamil felt his brow twitched as the both of your spoke with your cheeks filled with food.

“Stop talking with your mouths full.” he reminded, while he thought ‘these two were made for each other.’ You both simultaneously swallowed your food, cleared your throats and spoke in unison again--

“Jamil!~ Thanks for the food~!” you both beamed. 

‘Ugh, bright.’ he thought, as he sighed and looked away, his hand tugging at his hoodie. “Yeah yeah, just eat already.” 

In response the two of you promptly dug in and kept eating. 

“Mhm~ I really love the spices used.” you hummed. 

Kalim couldn’t help but just smile at how much you enjoyed spending time in Scarabia and taking a part in his culture. He wanted to bring you home with him for sure during one of the breaks--he would love to share with you the culture of his home. 

You were adorable already in your enthusiasm for his culture, he can’t wait to write a letter off to home to ensure that you would have clothes from his culture too. He was sure you would be thrilled with it. 

You chewed happily, but when you looked up you noticed that Kalim was looking at you with a really goofy grin.

“Hrm? Is something up Kalim? Do I have something on my face?” 

“No, you’re just really cute.” he said with a grin (a few seats away, Jamil thumped his head against a table and groaned in disgust). 

You felt your cheeks flare up in response.

“Aw! You look even cuter with red cheeks!” Kalim declared as he reached forward to cup your face in his hands. You swallowed, nearly choking in the process as you felt your face become hotter.

“Ungh! Kalim! Don’t embarrass me!” 

“But I can’t help it! I adore you!” he said, with a wide grin and your heart pounded in your ears because this boy was going to be the death of you. 

“Kalim is cuter than me!” you protested, as you reached forward to press your hands against his cheeks.

“No, you are!” he mushed your cheeks together, and laughed as you struggled against his hands.

“No you are!” you pinched his cheeks in response, and when both of your gazes meet, you shared a giggle at how silly you two probably looked like. 

“You two...” you both flinched as you see Jamil give you both a death stare. “Finish your food or so help me...” 

“Sorry Jamil!” you both yelped as you dug in back into your meals--though that didn’t stop the two of you from sharing a glance, and giggling to yourselves. 

--

"Hold still, my sweet potato.” Vil ordered with a roll of his eyes. “I need to put this eyeliner on you.” 

“I just don’t like things close to my eyeballs.” you tried to defend yourself. “It scares me.” 

“I’ve been doing make up for a long time, sweet potato.” Vil chided gently. “Do you not trust me?”

“Yes?” you would’ve shrugged if Vil would’ve let you but he didn’t. “No? Yes? It’s me? It just... makes me uncomfortable.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you say you didn’t trust me.” Vil huffed, before he quite literally used his other hand to keep your face still by cupping your cheek. “Do not move, or we’ll have to start from the top.” he threatened, you let out a whiny sound.

“I mean it, sweet one.” Vil said, “I’ll have to reapply the moisturizer, the foundation--” 

“Alright, alright.” your fist clenched as you tried to hold your position.

“Close your eyes.” you obeyed, and you caught the satisfied smile that spread on your lover’s pink lips, before you completely closed your eyes. 

Vil leant in as he began to line your eyes with a deep violet color. He could see your eyelids quiver at his movements, and the way your lips twisted downward in discomfort. Despite that, you put up with him. It made his smile slip into a much gentler one. When he pulled away, he immediately warned you not to open your eyes yet so that the liner could dry. You mumbled out a protest, but kept your eyes shut. 

Vil couldn’t help but chuckle underneath his breath.

You were truly--

peculiar. 

His hold on your face slackened, and though you twitched in response to that, you didn’t open your eyes. He leant forward, and began to gently blow over your lids so they’d dry faster. He could see the minuscule twitch of your eyes, and nose at the sudden sensation. He pulled back a little to admire your face against his palm. 

Don’t get him wrong--you were always going to be splendidly beautiful in his eyes--whether he was waking up in the morning to see you snoring away, or when you were busy stuffing yourself away with your favourite food but--

But because he was a social media celebrity, he knew that some people didn’t like you. There were people out there with ugly hearts who refused to acknowledge your relationship because of it.

You always told him you didn’t mind, that what mattered was that you both loved each other.

While that placated Vil, there was just one thing he wanted to do.

He wanted to show you off.

He was very happy to be taken, and proud that you were his partner. 

He wanted people to realize how amazing you are.

He wanted them to realize that you were a steal--and that you belonged to Vil as much as he belonged to you. 

So when he’s painting your eyelids lavender to match the tips of his hair, and your lips the matching pink shade on his own lips--he’s declaring that to the world--

‘This person is mine. Just as must as I am theirs. They are the best thing I have and no criticism you throw our way will get in the way of that.’ 

“Vil, are you done?” you asked.

“Let me just put the finishing touch.” he said, as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and leant in to press a soft kiss against your lips.

A soft one, just so he doesn’t have to redo anything.

When he pulled back, he’s delighted to see the red tint rise to your cheeks.

“Beautiful.” he smiled, “you can open your eyes now.” 

Your eyes fluttered open, and his heart leapt--

you looked so good in his colors. 

--

You eagerly stared up at the monitor, back at Idia, and repeated this several times before the Ignihyde dorm leader finally gave in.

“Alright.” he sighed very deeply as you cheered. “I’ll help you make your character.” 

“I want them to look like me please!” you requested, and Idia nodded. 

It was easy enough for him to maneuver the mouse around to make sure that the character model had your hair, and body type. Then he zoomed in on the face.

“Come closer.” he instructed with a tone of confidence that you normally didn’t hear from the Ignihyde dorm leader. You blinked in surprise, but shrugged. Once you had pulled your chair closer to him, Idia wasted no time and cupped your face with his hand. He brought his face close as he began to customize the character’s face to look like yours.

“[Name]’s forehead is small, but cute...”

“Their brows should be like this...” 

“[Name]’s eyes are sparkly, I can get blinded by them...” 

“Cute. Nose.” 

“I love kissing their lips... The shape are like this...” 

“The jawline--yes, soft and adorable...” 

You could feel your face heat up as he muttered all this lovingly underneath his breath--as if that would make it so that you couldn’t hear it. 

“Alright, I’m done.” Idia’s smile was wide and pleased as he turned back to you. 

Your face was red. 

“Are you okay, [Name]?” he tilted his head in concern.

“That is...” you muttered as you lowered your face to hide your expression.

That’s when it hits Idia that he’s holding your face in his hand.

“Eeek! Sorry!” he yelped as he pulled his hand away from yours. 

“No--no it’s fine.” you squeaked in response as your hands flew to your face, as you hoped you can get the red flush on your cheeks to calm down.

“I’m sorry! I held your face without permission!” 

“No--no it’s not that Idia!” you protested.

“Then--what, what was it?” he asked, his own hands covered his face. He felt his heart get hit by a bunch of arrows when you shyly look up at him through your lashes. 

‘Cute! You were so cute! If he had just a bit more confidence, he’d tell you that everyday and kiss you!’ 

“I...Idia... did you...” you glanced away awkwardly at the monitor, and he followed your gaze to the 3d model of a character made to look like you. “Do you... often, mutter under your breath?” 

“Uh well--Ortho tells me I do it a lot but I normally don’t realize I...” Idia froze in response.

“[Name]...?”

“Yeah?” 

“You mean I... was I thinking out loud?” 

“Um. Yeah.” you squealed lightly, and his whole body turned red. 

“Oh no! Ortho! Your brother is on fire!” 

--

Malleus stared expressionlessly up at the sky as he waited for you.

“Tsunotaro!” you had greeted when you had seen him earlier in the halls. “Are you going on a walk tonight?” 

“I will.” He nodded, beside him Sebek bristled at the nickname.

“Cool~ Wait for me okay?” you beamed, before you skipped off. “See you Tsunotaro!” 

“Lord Malleus,” Sebek hesitated. “If I may be allowed to ask...?” 

“You’re already asking.” Malleus arched a brow as Sebek sputtered quickly.

“My apologies.” he said, as he quickly jerked down to bow, “but I must ask--why do you let that person call you nicknames?” 

Malleus stared down at Sebek who began to sweat at the intensity of the young Lord’s stare. Malleus sighed, and he looked up in the direction you had left. 

Truthfully it was because...

(”Who are you?” an innocent question, and the curious face of a person who didn’t know him.

I didn’t want this person to realize who I was because--)

“Who knows?” Malleus hummed, before he turned away. 

A faint sound disrupted his thoughts.

Malleus blinked, and turned his head to see you creep up on him. You were hidden behind a tree, the shadows overwhelmed your form. (He frowned--you did not belong in the shadows.) 

“Ah, you heard that?” Once you made eye contact, you stepped away from the shadows, and walked right into the moonlight. Malleus could feel his face smoothen at the way the iridescent, soft glow of the moon kissed your features. (’Better,’ he thought to himself.)

“Were you attempting to sneak up on me?” Malleus asked, a smirk grew on his lips. Ah, weren’t you just so adorable and amusing? 

“I tried.” you shrugged, before you finally paused to stand before him. “Hey, why is it that even when sitting down, you’re still taller than me?”

“Perhaps you should sleep early.”

“Eh? Then won’t that mean I can’t accompany you on your walks?” Malleus stood slowly, and carried with him such elegance that makes your breath catch in your throat. Malleus was just too pretty.

Your thoughts halt when Malleus reached forward to cup your face with a hand. Instinctively you lean in, and pressed your cheek against his large hand. 

“You are not afraid at all.” No matter how much Malleus knew this, it never ceases to amaze him. 

He--is a dragon fae. 

He--is the fifth strongest magician in this world.

He--is the heir to the throne of the Valley of Thorns. 

He is a terrifyingly powerful immortal--and you were a soft, delicate mortal with a body that could break and a spirit that could be lost if he is not mindful of himself. 

Yet you let him touch you like this.

He stared into your eyes, tiny windows to the galaxy of your soul. He wished he could read your mind, spend time exploring all of which that made up every facet of you. 

You were so dazzling. 

Your fingers laced with his, as you pressed his cool hand against your warm cheek. 

“How could I be afraid?” your eyes flickered upward shyly as you look into Malleus’ bright ones. 

“This hand could kill you.” 

He said, as nonchalantly as he would speak about the weather.

“No,” you disagreed. “this is the hand of a kind person.”

His eyes widened, and he felt his heart skipped a beat at that. 

“This is the hand of a person who helped me despite not knowing me,” you continued. “this is the hand of a lonely man, who has a pretty smile when I make him laugh.” 

He could feel his face heat up at that. 

Malleus Draconia--blushed.

“I’ve never been called kind before.” he commented idly. 

“Well, people should see that you’re a kind person, Tsunotaro!” you exclaimed, as you puffed your cheeks in frustration. 

He only laughed in response, as he gently squeezed your cheeks. 

“I don’t think I need anyone else to know that.” 

“Huh? but why?” 

He hummed and chose not to answer you. Instead he leant down to pull you in a warm embrace, his hold on you tightened as you tentatively wrapped your arms around his body.

‘That’s because... I need only hear it from you, my bright light.’ 

--

[rosedhall]

do you have any thoughts abt jaya?

Okay, so initial preface is that I don't actually really care deeply about how anyone else chooses to portray this relationship, these are just my own thoughts and how I like to interpret or present the two of them, specifically romantically in this context. If you have a different way of doing so, that's cool, I'm just very into overthinking dynamics and it doesn't really to bother me what other people do with them- so take this as my own thoughts in portrayal; alright epic.

I want to start off with the inevitable: "fixing/saving" Jimmy as a dynamic and inadvertently woobifying him is one of those things that generally causes me a bit of distaste in some presentation of these two, but I do think it's key to note that it's a trope I'm not particularly keen to fall into personally so this may originate from a preference. Let's be frank in that Jimmy has issues, issues that extend beyond even his demonic possession. The man is not very stable; he's pushy, unnerving, overtly a bit of a leer, manic and socially illiterate (I am too because I'm autistic, but it becomes an issue when you're making women feel unsafe with it and Maya evidently), they're traits which make him a fucking brilliant character but in equal measure a demanding person. And I feel removing those aspects to fit in the ship does Huld's performance and Tim's writing a disservice, equally, utilising Maya as a tool to alter him for the better is unfair in similar respects. I think Jimmy is at his most fun when he is making people feel uncomfortable; do you see how quickly people get endeared to him within the first cutscene? It's grand characterisation.

Maya is her own character too, with her own ambitions, and reducing her down to a trope wherein she has to help a man capable of seeking therapy himself but refusing to do as much is kind of unfair to her, it goes into some places which causes issues and is kind of ooc - given that she explicitly chooses to leave given the option: because of course she would, poor woman. If you wanted to touch on the flaws of that sort of "saving" story then I completely respect it but uncritically only having Maya about to be an untrained support system feels inadequate to her character potential to me: obviously partners help each other, but your partner isn't your therapist and that could and should be discussed with this sort of relationship. If you're writing Jimmy as manipulative in regards to him leaning in on the "you can fix me" narrative, I think that goes hard and acts as a sound criticism if you have dramatic irony running alongside it y'know. I think Maya is great in that she CAN help with the possession, she's a medium, but even Huld has mentioned that Jimmy's problems run wayy deeper and they have to be touched on.

I think it's why I am kind of partial to: "Jimmy Hall's weird crush on poor Maya, who is trying to get a degree, dammit" as a dynamic, specifically.

Stripping Maya of autonomy kind of goes hand-in-hand with the previous issue, I have with some presentations or interpretations of Maya as this immediately smitten... almost personality void who serves to be an object to be fawned over or someone to fawn over Jimmy. She has her own problems, she's blunt and kind of apathetic - presumably because she's been seeing dead people and channelling their memories for fuck knows how long, which must take a mental toll. Her own problems have never seemed as touched upon by the fandom, which sucks, I think there's potential there - hell, maybe it could serve as a point to flip the "woman fixes broken man" trope on its head and portray how Jimmy could help her with the turmoil of seeing dead people constantly, could be a fun Jaya prospect for those who ar interested in promts. Maya and her character are just as important in this ship and I think it should be touched on more in mutual presentations of it.

I can seen Jaya or whatever as one-sided particularly, given that it's essentially canon, although it's unknown if that stems from whatever is possessing him or Jimmy himself. But in equal parts, if you can find a way to mellow Jimmy to a state where he wouldn't be detrimental to Maya whilst keeping him bizarre then I completely fuck with the concept.

How I would portray it in a mutual way is kind of an interesting question... I think it's important for Jimmy to have some semblance of stability because Maya's smart enough to keep clear of him when he's behaving tumultuously. Like I said above, I don't want Maya to have this " obligation " to save Jimmy because it's not her job and she's her own person. I think there's potential to be explored in how they can assist each other without encroaching on the obsession Jimmy displays in-game.

As for if I " ship " it, I don't know if that's the best term for me to use? I like the dynamic but it's hardly typical and I am not keen on the prospect of losing the disconcerting aspect of their relationship or lack thereof as it's what makes it so unique and fun to explore. I think I do, but not in the typical manner, I don't want to alter the characters so much to just produce a sappy ship which doesn't have a parallel in-canon (hey, that's what I use Roseharvey for lmao - simplifying of course, this ask isn't about that ship). I love the characters and therefore I love portrayals of the ship which amplify their quirks, flaws and of course some of their positive traits, and the potential issues that arise from having the both of them in a romantic relationship, I feel like glossing over the obvious pitfalls a relationship like that may have only does the characters a disservice, so if I were to present Jaya in a mutual or even one-sided manner I would always feel inclined to tackle them first. Of course do whatever you please and take my opinion as just that.

I don't particularly have a closing statement, so take this rambling as you will *peace sign*.

[sineala]

Holy Crap!!! Asks are backkk ... best Christmas gift everrr. I wish you nothing but the best in this world!

I’ve got a question, I have read a few of iron man runs so my knowledge of the character is limited. I tried following the current run but almost every iron man blog I follow are hating it so much and I am scared to ask them why lol so I wanted to know what ur opinion and mainly what is Tonys character flaw? Cuz I don’t know why he is being called OOC in the current. I always thought his main flaw was indeed a huge ego and manipulative. I believe it aligns with his core character because he was a prodigy, smart, filthy rich and handsome. So why wouldn’t he be cocky? Also; I believe it is an insecurity/cover up. His dad paid no attention growing up which makes me believe it’s a habit of Tony to constantly act out to get attention elsewhere. Okay I’m rambling A LOT, my question is why is arrogant/cocky/insensitive Tony considered an OOC when I thought it was his major flaw?

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Love to have you back! 💝

Merry Christmas to you too, anon! Oof. I guess we’re getting the salt out early tonight...

Okay, so. This is kind of complicated, but the thing about Tony is that the way his character has been written has changed over the years. He initially started out as... well, the best way I can describe him is as a fantasy of ethical capitalism. He was filthy rich but he was also A Very Good Person, very kind, very caring. He was generous. He knew his employees’ names. He believed in philanthropy, and as late as v3 he was going around doing things like funding programs for low-income kids and funding women’s shelters. Like, he was honestly a deeply, deeply good person who just wanted to help people. (I can pull panels to support this if you need them; I just figured it would be a lot faster not to.)

You’d think someone like that would be egotistical, but the thing is... he wasn’t. He absolutely wasn’t. I’m not saying that he didn’t believe he was right, because he was also generally very confident that he was right (I mean, he’s one of the smartest people on the planet, so he generally IS right) but he also had absolutely zero self-esteem. And so I would say that in order to get arrogance you need high self-confidence plus high self-esteem and Tony had a whole lot of one but none of the other. I mean, this is a guy who, when kidnapped by Skrulls, who then posed as Avengers, figured out that they were Skrulls because he sincerely believed there was no way the Avengers would care about him enough to come rescue him. He has, canonically, described himself as depressed. (I know, that was Fraction’s run, but still.)

There’s a really nice takedown somewhere near the end of the v3 arc in which he becomes the Secretary of Defense where a senator basically asks why he should get this job when he is so totally arrogant and Tony just says that he has done so many things to save people that no one has ever found out about, and he has never asked for credit, he has never wanted credit, he just wants to keep people safe, and that’s just... that’s just really Tony, to me. (And he does get the job, too.)

Hang on, I am doing a bad job paraphrasing, let me find it. IM v3 #76-78:

(As opposed to say, now, when he’s spending most of an issue complaining that no one thanks him.)

But starting with Fraction’s run, more or less, the portrayal of Tony started to shift from “a billionaire who is explicitly ethical and a Good Person” to “a billionaire who is kind of an arrogant jerk because that’s what billionaires are.” So it’s not, in a sense, out of character for the current run to take this tack with Tony’s character, because it’s a direction he’s been heading in for about a decade now -- but many people who are fans of 616 Tony as a character are fans of his earlier portrayal in the comics, in which he is absolutely not arrogant at all, and many of them (including me) aren’t really eager to read a run where it’s just assumed that he’s an asshole and he needs to be knocked down a peg. Why would I want to read a run about my fave where literally no one likes him and all the other characters tell him how terrible he is? Why would I want to read him, for example, making casually ableist remarks where he mocks the idea of learning sign language?

The current run also flat-out ignores a lot of past canon in a way that people who are fans of past Iron Man canon can find a lot to dislike about. There are a lot of guest villains from the Silver Age, that is true, but everything else... yeah, no.

I mean, okay. My absolute favorite IM run is Denny O’Neil’s run, specifically the second drinking arc. I know for a fact that the current IM writer has read it because he likes to post panels on Twitter. And I’m just not sure how anyone can read that run and come away with the impression that Tony is arrogant, and yet that seems to be what’s going on. The audience of the current run is clearly meant to agree with Patsy as she tells Tony to check his privilege -- and while, yes, he is a billionaire, he also spent about ten straight issues being broke and homeless and living in a cardboard box.  He may not know what it’s like, say, to be born into poverty, but he does, actually, know what it’s like to have nothing. He has been there.

And also, contrary to Patsy’s assertion, Tony does in fact know what it’s like to be suicidal, because he has literally tried to kill himself at least twice, and one of them was in the middle of the second drinking arc, and, again, I know the current IM writer has read it because he has been posting panels from that very issue. Tony sold his coat to buy one last bottle of booze, sat down outside in a blizzard, and waited to die. And there are a lot of fans who find Tony’s mental health issues relatable, find his triumphs inspiring, and so on -- and so it’s kind of frustrating to read a run where we are, essentially, told that Tony is An Out Of Touch Privileged Dude who could never understand anyone having problems like that, because one of the things fandom likes a lot about Tony is that he does actually have those problems himself.

I think the best thing I can say about the current run is that it is crafting an interesting narrative about a man who needs to learn humility; I just really wish that this man weren’t Tony Stark, because in the way he’s been canonically portrayed for decades, he’s already had that covered.

I will say that the art’s nice. I own all three variants of #1 with the tentacles and am still planning to frame them.

This is not to say that I think it is wrong to like the run. Hey, if you like the run, I am glad to hear it, because I am glad that someone is actually buying this comic every month who is enjoying reading it! And it is definitely in line with recent trends in Tony’s characterization. I just keep picking up Iron Man comics and hoping that this month the old Tony, the Tony that I started reading Iron Man comics because I wanted to see more of, will be back... and he’s not.

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Crows Headcanon: Wesper Headcanon (Wylan Van Eck and Jesper Fahey)

If you’d rather read this and more Crows headcanons on ao3 here’s the link.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Previous Chapter (Chapter 5)

Chapter 6 (the chapters aren’t related and do not continue the story, each can be read separately)

Wylan

It was inevitable. Their first fight. Of course, they'd fight at some point, living together. It began as everything does, small and barely noticeable. There would be tiny squabbles about clothes strewn about in the room, trinkets never returned to their places. Then it grew and grew, never-ending poisonous vines wrapping around them, strangling them. They spent every moment apart thinking of flaws with the other and every moment together pointing it out.

Just this morning Jesper grumbled about being too warm when Wylan woke up wrapped around him in the morning (even in sleep, his body knows what it really wants, too bad his mind isn't as smart right now). And Wylan knew, he <i>knew</i> that Jesper probably meant nothing by it. But his mind immediately began spewing venom into his heart. <i>You will only ever be a burden. He says he loves you, but he's already tired of you. How much longer do you think he'll stay here when he could have anyone?</i> But he's stubborn and strong and, he refused to show his heart because what else is that but an invitation to stab? So he pulled away and said, "Fine, then. If it's such an inconvenience then I won't touch you at all." And he walked out of the room, tears stinging in his eyes.

Jesper

I know I messed up. I've been messing up constantly. All of this is so new to me. I didn't know it would be this difficult to stay with someone. I've shared so many beds but I've never before shared a room. I didn't realise that it would bother someone else that my clothes aren't always in the cupboard. At first, it frustrated me that he would find faults with me all the time. It reinforced those voices in my brain that told me that I'd never be enough. So I took out those frustrations the way I always have, in cards and drinks and coins.

For a while, it was fine. I thought I'd fixed it somehow. Then, he started noticing more money missing. And he was so so angry. What else did I expect from a bomb-maker, if not an explosive temper? I knew that it wasn't working. I knew it was wrong. I knew that it wasn't truly helping me at all. But it scared me, terrified me that he'd already noticed all the worst things about me, and had to be stuck with that all the time. I realised then that this wasn't going to last much longer. So I gave up. I stopped trying to fix anything between us and just continued to feed the fire. If this is going to end anyway, what was even the point? What would be the point of telling me to please stay, please let me stay? How could I even convince him? He'd seen the worst things, the darkness behind my flirtatious smiles. He's let me stay for months now, and he hates it. He hates <i>me</i>, here. What could I ever do about that?

Even this morning, I complained about being too warm when he'd wrapped his body around me. I'd just gotten up, and for a single moment, I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten that we'd gone from being lovers, loved, loving, to...fighting. I'd forgotten that every word would be taken as a bullet. He'd flinched away from me (it made my heart <i>hurt</i>) and snarled, "Fine, then. If it's such an inconvenience then I won't touch you at all." And he'd stormed out of the room.

I raised a hand automatically, about to stop him. But what could I say? I'd only ever been good at destroying things, not fixing them. So I dropped my hand and laid back on the bed, eyes closed to keep the tears in, not succeeding in the least.

Wylan

It got so bad that even Inej and Kaz began to notice. They'd visit from time to time, either for his help or Jesper's. And naturally, they felt the crackling tension in the air. They never said anything about it, but he could see them exchanging glances, communicating in that way that only they could. It reminded him of the way he and Jesper used to communicate. The gentle brushing of their hands, stray touches on the elbow or shoulder, and he had to stop and take a deep breath to clear the constriction in his lungs.

They were both so tired of fighting all the time that even that had stopped. He never thought he'd miss fighting, but he did. At least then, Jesper was paying attention to him, even if he was smirking thoughtlessly. But now, nothing. They simply avoided each other around the house. He'd enter the kitchen, and Jesper would walk out. Jesper would enter our bedroom, and he'd leave. Even at night, Jesper would stay out so late that they never went to bed together. They did still sleep in the same room, the same bed. They still had that, but he didn't know how much longer even that'd last. So when he inevitably woke up first every morning, he'd stare and stare and stare. He'd caress every inch of Jesper's brown skin that he could see, just with his eyes, hand itching to touch.

He made sure never to get close to him, knowing that he wouldn't be able to let him go. He'd latch onto him and hold on forever.

Jesper

The silence was so loud it was deafening. It made his hair stand on end. He hated this silence, but he also didn't know how to break it. It'd grown so huge, a looming monster growing between them, and he knew no way of vanquishing it. So he let it be. He let Wylan avoid his touch like he had something contagious, and he let him keep as much distance as he wanted, even as his heart shrivelled every time it happened.

The only way he now knew to protect his heart was to stay out of the house. He didn't think that he'd ever need to protect his heart from Wylan. He couldn't believe that this is what it'd come to.

He came home every night, skin chill from the wind outside, aching to sink into Wylan's warmth and knowing he wasn't allowed. So he stared and stared and stared and drank whatever warmth he could from those bright curls and freckled skin. And in his dreams, the only thing he saw, over and over again, were those azure eyes gazing at him like they once did, in love.

Kaz

He'd had enough. What now that they didn't have any problems those idiots decided to make some of their own? He would not let this stand, not a chance.

Inej

She knew that gleam in his eyes. He had a plan, and since it was Kaz's, it was expected that it'd be devious. But, she knew for once that it was with the best of intentions. So she listened attentively when he told her and smiled a tiny proud smile when he was done.

Wylan

It was an overcast evening, and he shivered as he made himself a cup of hot chocolate. Jesper was out, of course, doing whatever he did every day. He didn't know. How could he if they didn't talk anymore? So he took out his flute and tried to practice, tried to ignore his trembling hands. Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door. He dropped the flute and ran for it, only taking a second to check who it was. Inej.

He yanked open the door. She wouldn't bang it like that if there wasn't an emergency. She looked worried, eyebrows furrowed and eyes wide.

What's happened?" he asked.

"Jesper...he's missing," she said, suddenly wilting. His heart stopped.

"What?" he whispered, his voice breaking.

"Kaz needed him for a job, so I went to get him. I checked all his usual joints, and he wasn't there anywhere," she looked pitying now. She'd definitely noticed the way his skin grew paler. If even the Wraith couldn't find him, where could he be? What-what could've happened to him?

"But," she said and he perked up immediately, "we think we know who could've taken him."

It takes them half an hour to make a plan to rescue him, hoping desperately that they were going to the right place. Inej instructs him on which bombs they need, and they set off.

Jesper

It can't be true. It could not be true. Not again. Kaz just told him that one of his rivals had kidnapped Wylan. They were now waiting for him to come to them and demand the ransom. How could this have happened? Why Wylan? He hoped with all his heart that they were at least treating him well, knowing that that wasn't very likely. As they sat there, a fire burned in his belly. He felt hatred rise like a storm inside him. He would not be merciful with whoever had kidnapped Wylan.

He didn't understand how Kaz could just sit there, relaxed as though nothing had happened. No, he knew that maintaining a veneer of calmness would make it easier to negotiate with the kidnapper. But he still couldn't stop his fists from clenching and his jaw from tensing. He tried to breathe deeply, telling himself that the kidnapper wouldn't kill Wylan because that would get him nothing. Wylan would be okay. He had to be. He couldn't die. He couldn't die, with Jesper not able to recollect the last time he touched him, the last word he told him.

So they waited. Jesper grew more and more jittery, legs shaking and fingers tapping and fidgeting. Kaz somehow grew calmer and calmer, cane resting gently on his lap, utterly in his element, ready to do his part.

When the outer door slammed open, Jesper stood up abruptly, and Kaz gripped his cane tighter. The door opened and in came charging...

Wylan

Finally, they got through the gate, and the soldiers posted outside and entered an empty room. He didn't waste a second. The moment he noticed the other door in the room, he rushed at it, pushing it open. And there he was. He ran to Jesper and hugged him, holding on so so tightly. He was so relieved to find him that he didn't even wonder why Jesper wasn't tied up and gagged.

"You're okay, you're okay," he chanted, under his breath, still unwilling to let go of his sharpshooter. Jesper held him in return, nestling his head in Wylan's curls, speechless for once. After a few minutes, or seconds, or hours, or an eternity, he pulled back a little to see Jesper wide-eyed, looking at him like he was a ghost.

"I'm sorry," they both blurted out at once, and they laughed and sobbed at that.

"No, no, I should be the one to apologise. I'm so sorry for being such a mess. The clothes and my other things and the gambling. Oh, I knew I needed to stop, and I couldn't and then- and then-" Jesper babbled.

"No! Don't be sorry. I'll help you, we'll do it together. Okay? I'm sorry too. It was all so perfect, and it scared me. I was so scared that you'd leave that I nearly drove you to leave myself," he said, staring right into Jesper's eyes so he'd understand.

"Okay. But just so you know, I never would've left," Jesper tells him, looking back just as intensely.

"Okay. That's good," Wylan says, chuckling, suddenly embarrassed.

Jesper tilts his chin back up and gazing into his eyes the whole time, kisses him. Wylan responds ravenously, and well...it all works out. They remind the other that they love them, that they always have and always will. And when they realise what Kaz and Inej tricked them into, Wylan is outraged, and Jesper just laughs and laughs and laughs (Wylan then kisses him, hearing the laughs echo in his heart).

Next chapter (Chapter 7)

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

[theboywantscoffee]

The Handler is really a fascinating character to me as is her dynamic with Five and how alike they are. Get ready because I’m gonna go on a tangent about them.

I think it goes without saying that in many ways The Handler and Five are very similar people. They’re both pragmatic, goal orientated, cold, and quite simply, both willing to do absolutely anything needed to achieve what they want despite the repercussions others might face at their expense. They both lack a significant level of humanity, something that clearly is a requirement  to be able to do the work they do/did at the Commission. They are constantly at a battle of wits  and attempting to one up the other, both proving to be a formidable foil to the other consistently throughout the show. 

Where things start to contrast between the two is how they grew to be the people they are now. With Five, well, we know why he is the way he is. Five isn’t simply just a product of his childhood. Yes, he still retains a good level of characteristics from his youth into adulthood (arrogant, brash, sees himself as better than everyone else) but Five ultimately was sculpted into the man he is today due to his time subjected to the apocalypse and then shortly after, the Commission. 

The apocalypse did a number on Five. It isolated him for over four decades. It tore layer after layer of humanity away from him until he was left so distanced from other people that segueing into becoming an assassin was like second nature. It forced him to become entirely dependent on himself for survival in every aspect of the word. Physically, of course, he had to take care of all his basic survival needs; food, water, shelter, first aid, etc. Mentally and emotionally? He created a whole ‘nother person in the form of a mannequin to help him retain any semblance of either of those things. It damaged Five so deeply that afterwards he was left almost entirely incapable of empathy (key word, almost), unable to ask others for help/acknowledge he needs help, and able to see assassination as a reasonable means to justify an end. 

Five was left broken by the apocalypse. He is a product of it. And after going through that traumatic ordeal, he was offered a way out but only through accepting employment at the organization that sat by and allowed his suffering to go on for decades. (I’d love to go into the body modifications/DNA manipulation but that isn’t canon compliant for the show anyway (yet) so I won’t). He was transformed into the perfect killing machine. He took the lives of anyone and everyone who stood out of line by the Commission’s standards. Many who I’m sure weren’t actually bad people (ex, Lila’s parents), but because they were deemed irregularities in the timeline (or they were someone who The Handler could benefit from their death, ex Lila’s parents), they had to go. One doesn’t complete a task like that regularly without lacking a level of morality or connection to fellow humankind. 

But The Handler? We don’t really know her back story at all, so perhaps this is going out on a limb here, but I can at the very least say that she did not go through what Five did. There is really no one in the series whose backstory can equate to Five’s. And while I am not entirely excusing Five for being a shitty person sometimes, he and The Handler are very different in the fact that while he was sculpted into one, I think The Handler was just born an awful, monstrous human being. Actually worse than Five. And you know why?

The Handler isn’t even capable of love or empathy or putting anyone else before herself. We don’t see this at all, not even once. The Handler does things strictly for the benefit of herself and no one else. Even when her own self proclaimed daughter asks her if she ever loved her, The Handler doesn’t answer and then proceeds to murder her. Que sera, sera. (Whatever will be, will be). No remorse. No regret. Nothing.

Five, for all of his faults and flaws and uh, murder, still remains more connected to humanity than The Handler. Despite everything he has experienced, everything he has lost, he still has an inkling of heart that’s still beating for others left in him. Because Five still does love and care for people - his entire life purpose is to keep those people, his family, safe and alive, even at the expense of his own happiness and life. Five puts his family before himself every episode, every damn step of the way. He survives 40+ years alone and then works as an assassin for an unspoken measurement of time, all to save his family. 

The Handler throws up the front of being a people person and charming. And she does it really damn well. But in reality she is not morally gray. She doesn’t do some good things and some awful things. She is just all around horrible. She employs Five, again, to work for the organization that tore so much away from him. She dangles the idea of a new body before him, gives him a suit with the claim, “clothing make the man, Five,” as if he isn’t something to be taken seriously in his current physical state, as if he still isn’t the man who survived a lifetime in the end of the world and becoming an assassin. She claims that Five owes her because she ‘saved him from a lifetime of being alone’, which in actuality she watched and allowed him to suffer exactly just that. (I have another meta on here about that scene in particular, which you can read HERE). She tricks Five into murdering the board so she can assume power, all under the guise of claiming to help him get his family back to 2019, only to then use him as a scapegoat in their assassination. She literally kills him (almost) and all of his siblings. She writes the kill order on Lila’s parents, lets Five kill them, and then kidnaps Lila all for her own benefit. She continuously lies to her, ultimately betrays her, and kills her too. She sees zero wrongness in kidnapping a disabled boy from his mother so she can transform him into her weapon just like she did Lila. There isn’t a single instance in the entirety of the show where The Handler shows even an ounce of regret, only shock and anger when things don’t go her way. She is power hungry, merciless, and quite possibly even deranged with how unemotive she is towards other human beings.

And one more thing I want to touch on with The Handler that is a bit of a controversial topic in the show - her handsey-ness with Five. Her unnecessary touching and closeness. I am a firm non believer of the idea many have that her and Five used to be involved romantically or physically in any way. I think it’s quite a reach to imagine Five trusting her whatsoever at any point during their time knowing one another. Five is observant as hell and smart - I just can’t see him ever having an ounce of trust in her, especially with again, how she blatantly admits to him when they first meet that the Commission has been watching him for some time. So no, I don’t think her creepy touches with him have anything to do with a former fling (even if Kate or Aidan play into it that way or claim they might have in the past - sorry, headcanon not accepted lol). 

I view her behavior as demeaning. I see it as her being condescending towards him, like, “Oh, see how you betrayed me and now look at how you fucked up. Small and weak and nothing to be taken seriously.” She treats him like the tiny child he has physically become and she does it to make him feel inferior and like he has no control of the situation he is in or his life. It’s a slap in the face, a reminder of what he has done to himself because he left the Commission, and she does it because she knows how much it bothers him to be perceived that way. Everything she does and says around Five, she does to make him feel small. 

All in all, I really do love The Handler. Do I love that she played a larger role in season 2 than Carmichael? Absolutely not. I don’t love what her character did for the writing or the plot of the show and how it backburnered a lot of things. I think they missed out greatly on a character who was already a fascinating antagonist to Five (Carmichael). However, Kate Walsh is an absolute delight to watch on screen. Her and Aidan have great chemistry and play off one another very well and their scenes are certainly some of my most favorite to watch. I think The Handler is an amazing villain and keeping her as a female as opposed to a male Jon Hamm esque actor as they originally were intending to do was a great idea IMO. I love a female bad ass, even if she is a villain. I’m sad we won’t see more of her purely because she is so fun to watch (and her wardrobe is utter goals) but I’m definitely ready to move on to the next set of antagonists for our favorite dysfunctional family.

[hellsbellschime]

I was wondering if you could do an analysis on Sansas and Daenerys interactions in 8x02?

Totes, because I think it’s an extremely interesting character interplay that needed more development and that was either actually rife with subtext and just written really poorly or it was just dumb. But while I wish there had been more development for literally everything in season 8, I think that the dynamic between Dany and Sansa needed far more room to breathe and grow given that their incredibly brief relationship is one of the main catalysts for the climax of the story. 

Jaime’s whole “trial” scene is one that I really wish we had been able to see the lead up to, because while the drama of starting off the episode with it is certainly compelling, I’d honestly really like to know how everyone even got to that point in the first place. Like, Dany is furious that Cersei has betrayed her and lied to her about her intentions... except how exactly does that square up to someone who came to a truce with their enemy and then immediately arrests them and puts them on trial when they actually follow through on their end of the bargain?

However, looking beyond that there is not just Dany vs. Sansa, it’s kind of Dany vs. Team Stark. Dany lays out all of the reasons why Jaime deserves to be punished and Sansa actually completely agrees with her and says she completely understands how she feels, but then Brienne speaks in Jaime’s defense and Sansa immediately agrees that Jaime should stay. Now as viewers we understand what Sansa is doing here, but I think that Dany does not. I think that this may be a sort of crucial moment for what happens later, because someone who is unfamiliar with Sansa but sees that she is popular among the Northerners might come to the easiest conclusion, which is that Sansa is easily manipulated, weak willed, or likes to agree with people and thus everyone kind of likes her even though she’s the type of person who shouldn’t really be seen as important or authoritative. 

But when Dany kind of ropes Jon into it I think it’s even more interesting, and once again could be an implication that she doesn’t understand people who put the interests of others before themselves. Because way back when Melisandre told Dany to invite Jon to Dragonstone, Tyrion tries to sell her on it by explaining that the Lannisters have treated the Starks even worse than they theoretically treated her, so they have even more reason to want to see their downfall. So I think she inquires about Jon’s thoughts expecting her to agree with him, because quite frankly it’s just not in her wheel house to put the needs of others before her own. But he winds up agreeing to let him stay, and she feels peer pressured into acquiescing when she really doesn’t want to. That really puts her on the back foot and makes her extremely uncomfortable because it’s something she never does, and it’s basically taking her whole fantasy of conquering Westeros and destroying her enemies and basically forces her to give it up for the sake of maintaining her own mystique. 

So she’s super pissed and Jorah talks her down, and while once again the show cuts away from shit that we actually need to see, it’s fair to assume that he said something along the lines of Sansa is Regina George and you’re currently Janis Ian, so you need to go talk to her and charm her into liking you and the rest of the Northerners will fall in line. So, Dany follows his advice and tries to actually talk to Sansa and to get her to see her as the Enlightened Despot she imagines herself to be. 

Frankly, the conversation between Sansa and Dany is extremely weird and vapid on the surface, but I think it makes sense within a certain context. Namely, that Sansa and Dany both have very clear preconceived notions about each other, however Sansa’s assumptions are generally correct while Dany’s assumptions are completely incorrect. 

Obviously at this point, Sansa isn’t being fooled by charm, and Dany unfortunately reveals herself to Sansa in completely unintentional ways that she doesn’t realize are actually really hurting Sansa’s perception of her. Dany is here to conquer Westeros and force the North into submission, and maybe I’m overestimating Sansa’s political genius here, but what I find extremely interesting is that Dany asks Sansa why they’re at odds with each other but she doesn’t answer. She waits for Dany to answer, and Dany’s answer frankly gives Sansa an enormous political and manipulative advantage by letting her know that she assumes Sansa would not like an invader with dragons and an army the size of a city because she’s jealous that Dany has her brother’s attention. 

And yes, of course, Sansa loves Jon and is likely extremely concerned, but I just cannot believe that Sansa is being genuine in this conversation. This is the woman who had to convince Jon to accept the inevitability of their baby brother dying because focusing on saving him was an existential threat to their family and the North. I cannot believe that she would have more issues with the potential safety and manipulation of her brother who was a king, Lord Commander, and survived with wildlings beyond the wall than she would over Rickon. Not to mention, the notion that at this very moment when the North is on the brink of destruction and everyone is facing down the apocalypse, but somehow Sansa is concerned about the person that Jon may or may not be smashing, is an incredibly condescending and childish assumption to make about her. 

However, Dany does seem to make that assumption. Dany’s whole impression of Sansa seems to initially be that she’s just a catty and frivolous girl, and she seems to think that assuring Sansa that her super cute new crush is the one who really has her wrapped around his finger is enough to reassure her that everything’s fine and that that’s enough for Sansa to accept Dany as queen. 

But then Sansa quickly flips the script and asks about Northern independence, which I honestly think was a mistake on her part. Dany initially saw Sansa just like Cersei and Joffrey and Tyrion and the Tyrells and every other person saw her, as just a superficial idiot who can be easily managed and bent to someone else’s will. I understand why Sansa would never want to play that game again, but it also left her in an enormously advantageous position, and letting Dany know that she was actually very politically minded was not the right move at that moment. But of course, because this is the season of constantly interrupted interesting conversations, as soon as the discussion turns political it’s interrupted. 

Now, what I think is very interesting about Dany is her desire to essentially acquire special people. She wants Tyrion, the “most brilliant man in the kingdoms”, to be her hand. She knows he’s exceptional, and she wants to basically own him. And she goes through the same thing with Jon. She perceives her feelings towards him as love, but I think she really knows nothing about him and just thinks that he’s extraordinary enough to be worthy of her and therefore they must be in love with each other. Dany sees herself as a person unlike any other, with no equal in existence or history, so when people fawn all over her or give her unquestioned loyalty it’s nothing more than what she expects, but when literally anyone seems to care about or respect someone more than they do her, she doesn’t understand it and often sees it as some kind of a betrayal. 

So when Theon shows up to fight for the Starks, she doesn’t necessarily seem mad, but she is clearly baffled, especially because she has already categorized Sansa as someone not special. If she thought Sansa were special or important enough to warrant her attention, Jorah wouldn’t have had to tell her to go try to be friends. But when Theon arrives and asks Sansa to fight for her, she doesn’t get it because in her mind Sansa is not worthy of that kind of devotion because she’s too ordinary, and the fact that someone is prioritizing Sansa over her right in front of her face really puts her off. And what seemingly makes this interchange dangerous is that Dany’s reaction to seeing this doesn’t seem to be a desire to actually understand where it stems from, but seems to result in the immediate conclusion that Sansa herself must be stopped (which is an idea that Dany toyed with in the season premiere as well, but I think it only solidified that idea for her further).

But I think that Sansa and Theon’s interaction here is obviously fascinating as well, both in relation to Dany and in general. Honestly, that kind of raw emotion and vulnerability is something that people in GoT rarely display around one another, and I can’t even think of another instance of Dany actually witnessing two people who genuinely love each other emotionally connect in that way. That’s not generally a way that she feels about a lot of people, and in her world, she is always the center of attention. So even if there are people in her orbit who love each other, she never really sees that. I actually think Emilia’s expression captures that perfectly as well, she both seems put off but unsure of how to react and borderline unsure of WTF it is that she’s actually seeing, because again, it’s pretty abnormal to see people be that emotionally open in public anyway and because it’s something that Dany is completely unaccustomed to seeing when it’s not directed towards her. 

And of course, for Sansa and Theon as a pair, it’s extremely heartwarming and emotional to see how deeply they care for one another, and it’s even more touching to realize how powerfully they have had to repress their own emotions for so long and that they have now gotten to the point where they’re so completely unashamed and completely lacking in self consciousness that they’re willing to be that raw no matter who’s looking. 

Overall, despite the massive flaws of season 8, I do have to say that the scenes between Dany and Sansa are some of my favorite and I wish we had gotten so much more out of them. I actually think the performance chemistry between Emilia and Sophie is better than nearly every other character that Dany was introduced to late in the game, and I think it was a huge mistake to not explore that more and to not fully clarify that these two literal queens are not bickering over a boy’s attention. 

[traumatized-motherfuckers]

CPTSD and Core Beliefs (Your lens, built on traumatic fuckery)

Alright, so you know I have this Patreon thing that I try to make worth your while in return for your economical help. One of the benefits is the good ole’ monthly ask me anything. And I love it. Because the questions are great. And they push me to dig into topics that I was procrastinating. This month’s AMA is a particularly good one! A question that needs to be addressed, anyways. So it’s perfect. Let’s aim for two birds with one stone.

Our good friend Cassie - you know her by now - asks, how do you identify core beliefs and start to change them? Which is a very simple and very complicated question.

  So, to take a step backwards, what she talkin’ bout?

  Well, one of the internal issues that complex trauma sufferers have to rectify is their belief system. Between our core beliefs and our inner critic, we have a lot going on in between our ears to keep us downtrodden and destitute.

  We’re talking about what I call Fucked Up Core Beliefs here… which are your trauma-born core beliefs. Again, called FUCBs because when you discover them, you’ll likely whisper to yourself, “wow, that’s actually really fucked up.” These sentiments are like the lenses that you surgically stitched onto your face several decades ago in response to your upbringing, as your little mammal brain tried to understand its place in the global hierarchy and how to be chill about it.

 The framework you built from your early development and beyond, that all information still filters through today - both on the way in and on the way out of your head. The words that stream through your brain consciously or subconsciously to shape the ways you appraise… everything. Yourself, your life, your past, your future, other people, and everything that happens in between.

  So, essentially, talking about the ways you interpret your existence and the collected pool of knowledge from where you make decisions, and therefore the ways you act. If this is starting to sound like a big deal - it is!

But it don’t come with a big flashing sign. The Challenge

These beliefs are challenging to figure out because:

  One, they were adapted early on in your life in an effort to understand the circumstances around you or directly downloaded from the sentiments expressed in your environment. When you were first establishing your perspective of the universe and trying to figure out how to navigate it based on the clues presented.

  Plus, the harder part is… because of the early adoption, you’ve already accepted the idea for so long that it doesn’t even seem like a “belief” to you - you’re not choosing it and it’s probably not apparent to you - it’s just the secret narrative running in your head that corrupts all later data. Not cognitive thoughts that you’re directing on purpose. You probably don’t have recollections of the time before you believed such and such to question what you believe - these ideas are solidified in your head with as much certainty as the alphabet.

  So, you might believe you’re a worthless piece of shit as a function of the neglect and abuse you experienced, a way to explain the mistreatment to yourself from a young age… OR you might believe you’re a worthless piece of shit because mom, dad, sister, and society directly told you so. But either way, many years down the line, it’s difficult to pinpoint either of these originating factors as memories fade or to even question the validity of the thought… or to even notice the thought.

  Two, if your family of origin was always repeating the same sort of thoughts and you later associate with people who make you comfortable to be around (i.e. probably have some similar views of the world), you have nothing to compare your beliefs to.

  Your environment teaches you what’s normal. There’s no reference for what is and isn’t healthy, fair, or functional if everyone is drinking the same kool aid. And, unfortunately, in traumatic environments, folks seem to congregate around the fucked up beliefs to protect them with a mutual unspoken agreement. Accept the accepted narrative of the group or be outcast. The same story is replayed on repeat from all ends of your social circle, so why would you even begin to think there’s another way to look at things?

So, if mom, dad, cousin, uncle, grandma, neighbor, peer, teacher, and media are all telling you the same reality exists, how would you ever even begin to have the wherewithal to think otherwise? The thought probably never crosses your mind. The sky is blue, grass is green, and the world is a miserable place where everyone is trying to take advantage of you.

  Three, again, I cannot over-express how insidious, subtle, and generalized these things can be. Fucked up core beliefs affect how you see and process everything. Again, like lenses or an instagram filter permanently applied to your corneas. So, there’s not necessarily one life-effect linked to one-FUCB for easy detection or one event that will cause a clear-as-day defined belief to come shooting to the top of the pile. More like, you very slowly realize you have an unhealthy view or twenty about yourself and the world that have sorrrrrtof impacted every single area of your life now that you spend years considering it.

  Thinking you’re a worthless piece of shit, for instance, has led to you taking low-level jobs with chaotic schedules, living with an abusive partner, and settling for living in the same environment with the same behavioral patterns that you’ve known your entire life. It’s also allowed you to give up exercise, eating right, staying sober, and trying to make any life-improvements. Why bother spit polishing shit? And here you are, wondering why you feel awful about yourself and don’t enjoy anything you’ve created in your life.

  But. It’s not that simple to sort out, or else we would have done it already. You probably haven’t ever purposely considered how commonly this impression is operating below the surface of your actions. Realizing that the belief “I’m a worthless piece of shit who deserves nothing” and trying to change it would be like pulling out the wrong Janga block - everything it has been supporting suddenly comes tumbling down and you’re left with a real fucking mess to rebuild from the bottom up. And, to top it all off, no one ever even taught you how to create a sturdier structure in the first place.

  Fourthly, from some of my own learnings, I’ve come to the conclusion that the core belief, itself, doesn’t even have to present itself at any point to be making a difference in your life. They are so deeply ingrained in my brain that my thought center just naturally uses them as a jumping off point, without even directly touching on the words that might ping my brain as unusual. Just like we can subtly detect risks in our environment that set off our warning bells without ever creating a conscious thought to go with the arousal, I feel like I can apply a core belief to my world without ever noticing the accompanying stream of consciousness.

Sometimes I feel like fucked up core beliefs have become so accepted over time that they’re feelings more than cognitions. As if they’ve become so reflexive through repetition that you have muscle memory - an intuitive response that bypasses your logical brain recognition threshold and jumpstarts shittily-related thoughts… and those will actually register on your thinking scale. But at that point, you accept the novel-feeling thought and never note that it was actually spawned by a very old recording.

  Which is to say, you might have to work on identifying your fucked up core feelings before you can get to the thought deeply buried underneath. Taking a meta break from the episode to tell you, I’ve never thought about that so thoroughly before. But Fucked Up Core Feelings definitely sounds like a solid description of my world. I guess we also have FUCFs to go with our FUCBs from now on. Anyways.

  With all of this in mind, I’m sure you can start to see why these fucked up core beliefs are a big problem. Hell, if you’ve listened to this podcast for more than a few episodes, you’ve definitely heard that I’m still challenged by my own. Like, when I say that I’m freaking out because no one should listen to me and I feel like an imposter - I believe that I’m not good enough to share information with people. That I’m too flawed to even express myself. This is a problem for, say, podcasting. Or, living. And I have to fight it all the time.

  Long story short.

  Your core beliefs are sneaky, they can be comprehensive, and they are hardwired into your brain as your default system for analyzing everything on the planet. Again, kind of like looking for goggles strapped to your face, but in reality you had lasik surgery about 30 years ago.

  So, if you aren’t constantly on the lookout for core beliefs and actively working against your pre-programmed ways of assessing yourself and the world around you… they will get out of control, cause a fair amount of avoidance and defeat, and set you back several steps in your mental health management… plus, potentially your entire life, if you make any big decisions out of this unhealthy mindset. Which you will, because that’s how the brain works. I’m almost certain that you have some experience with this already.

If you ever think things like: The world is a dangerous placePeople are cruelI’m not good enough I’m not smart enoughI’m not enoughI’m brokenOther people don’t like meThere’s something wrong with my personalityI’m not allowed to… (live like others, have nice things, be happy)I’m not one of those people who… (has money, has good luck, gets what they want)Shit is just harder for meNothing ever works outLife is always hardI can’t.

Then you’ve had some fucked up core beliefs floating around in your head.

 These are some super broad ones for the sake of demonstration, so don’t disregard highly specific beliefs that might relate to your particular circumstances or upbringing.

  If you haven’t ever noticed yourself thinking these big shitty picture things… check again in all your deepest nooks and crannies. I think a lot of us TMFRs operate from some version of the narratives above - plus, much worse. Like I keep saying, these beliefs might not be in your conscious thoughts, so much as they’re directing the show from behind the curtain.

How do we pull it back? Discover the beliefs ........

Keep reading or listen up at t-mfrs.com

https://www.t-mfrs.com/podcast/episode/532f2b1c/core-beliefs

[into-crazy]

My own thoughts on Arthur Fleck/Joker with a female s/o with long hair

I had already done one of these with J, and I figured, why not do one with Artie! So as stated before, my hair is very long. These are just a few possibilities of how that would tie into being in a relationship with Arthur/Joker. I'm just trying to get back into my writing groove. Anyways, I hope you enjoy lovelies!💖💖

Things that happen/occur regularly..

To be clear, there is not one part of you that Arthur isn't infatuated with. He adores every single part of you. Anything you feel self-conscious about, he'll be sure to give extra attention to.

Got stretch marks? He will trail his fingertips- and sometimes his tongue during intimate moments- along those gorgeous lines. Any marks, moles, or freckles you despise? He'll tenderly kiss those beautiful marks that decorate your body. Have body rolls or feel like you're lacking in certain areas? He will lovingly caress, squeeze, and feel those wonderful parts of you. For what you see as flaws, Arthur sees as fine works of beauty.

Along with the many things he loves about you, he's definitely enamored with your hair. Which is rather quite long in length.

No matter what it is you are doing would he often find himself staring at your strands. Especially when you are combing and styling them. Any way you choose to wear your hair, he doesn't have a specific preference as he appreciates each look equally and individually.

He finds it fascinating how expressive your hair is when you wear it down, styled or not. It's as if it has a life of its own to accurately accommodate your moods.

How he can't help but slowly run his fingers through those wonderful locks. It took him a while to take it upon himself- with your assurance- to simply just do it without asking. So unsure, shy, and gentlemanly was he to always ask if it was okay. Even when you'd surely and patiently told him it was more than.

He's got long locks of his own. And it makes him feel good and loved when you lightly play with his strands. Twirling one of his chestnut curls around your finger or smoothing your hands through his hair and telling him how handsome he is. He had always longed to have someone he cares deeply for to give him that form of intimacy and for him to graciously return. Now, he has that and more with you in his life.

Arthur showers you with lots of compliments and heartfelt comments.

"Your hair's beautiful, my love." // "It's so long and soft." // "I really like that hairstyle, you look amazing. My lovely angel, you always do."

You find yourself blushing and smiling at his words. "Really? Thank you baby! I actually tried today, I'm glad you think so."

Your braids are very pretty to him. Watching you effortlessly maneuver your fingers to twist and weave the tresses into a thick bind, it never fails to captivate his eyes. He'll be extra careful when he runs his hand down the length to simply feel the smooth grooves. Even the simplest of braids he finds elegant on you.

Sometimes he'll even ask if he can braid it for you. Which you'd happily oblige. The first time he brought it up, he was nervous. It even shocked him when you asked if you could also do his. You braid little strands here and there on him, not all of his hair. Now, it's a relaxing activity you both like to do in the comfort of your home every once in a while.

There are times where your mane can be an absolute bother. You tend to get headaches when you put it up for long periods of time because it's just so heavy. Arthur catches on to that, and expresses his concern. He never wants you to be in any discomfort.

"Please love, let your hair down. I know it's bothering you." He'd even remove the hair tie from you himself. Able to ease his worried nerves when he finally hears that deep sigh escape your lips. With your eyes closed in contempt as you let him take care of you. "I don't know how you do it, y/n."

He admires your will of willing to deal with the hassles and fusses as a price for wanting to keep the length.

You both enjoy shampooing each other's hair in the shower. You can count on some really amazing scalp massages, because Arthur gives the best ones! And he loves when your nails gently scratch along his own scalp. At times it'll become a silent competition of trying to give the other the best massage.

Going into the transition of Joker, these things very much remain the same.

Bedhead moments..

Alright, so maybe Arthur's lied just a teeny, tiny bit before. His personal favorite way to see your hair is when it's like this, in its most natural state. You tend to sleep with your hair completely down, leaving your locks to sprawl freely along the pillows.

He couldn't get enough of how gorgeous you are in your slumber. Completely carefree in your upmost vulnerable and graceful state. When he was up before you or couldn't find sleep of his own would he lay there and admire you.

When you're cuddling, he'll bury his nose into the crook of your neck and inhale the scent of your conditioner. Your scent is completely intoxicating to him, it's the smell of home. Some nights where he found it difficult to rest, would he try to be lulled asleep breathing in your soothing essence.

Quite frequently will your strands accidentally get snagged under his arm or trapped under his weight.

"Ow! My hair-" You'd wince, clutching the ones that are trapped.

It'll take him a second to register what happened. When he does, the sweet man immediately lifts himself to release them and apologize. "Oh shit- I-I'm sorry! I didn't know your hair was right there."

Only for you to laugh softly and assure him it was okay. "It's alright baby. It was an accident, I know you didn't mean to."

Little NSFW..

Arthur's a very passionate man, especially when it comes to making love. So passionate and intimate is he, that even if you're having rougher sex or a quickie does he always make you feel loved.

Powerful is your love for one another, that making the other feel special comes naturally and right.

No matter what kind sexual activity you are doing would his hands be touching you in any wonderful way. Those warm and worn hands are constantly roaming over every inch of your body which he can access.

During your shared moments of passion would his fingers tangle into your hair to bring you closer to him. He does it with such tenderness. Badly does he need to have you as close as possible. To transfer the heat of your bodies, the rapid beating of your hearts through your chests, and the harmonic vibrations of your sweet moans.

Many of these things never change even after he makes the transition into Joker. After all, he still is your Arthur underneath the clown persona.

Though there are changes. Some of which are pretty drastic as he no longer holds back on anything. Which means he isn't afraid to voice what he wants, or take it rougher with you when you're both in the mood.

He will definitely tug your hair around a little firmer and more confidently when he's taking you. And he definitely loves it when you reciprocate.

Oh, and his greasepaint tends to get everywhere. So you can expect to have traces of his signature colors along your strands in various spots.