#which is why i tend to refer to it as my favourite episode

[our-happygirl500-fan]

Something I’ve been thinking about is that when the Turtles come up with code names for their family they tend to combine Splinter’s nicknames for them with their special interests.

Meat Sweats: Turtles? Red? Blue? Orange? Purple?

Splinter: Oh, you know their names

Throughout Rise Splinter mostly refers to his son’s as their colours when talking to them, treating their designated colours as nicknames & whenever the Turtles make code names they combine their dad’s nicknames for them with their own special interests by making sure that their designated colours are part of their code names

Donnie: This is Purple Knight is everyone in position

Raph: Red King is set

Donnie: Orange Pawn please use your-

Mikey: What!? Why am I the pawn?

Donnie: Scooch over Hypno, chess is my domain 

In the episode Mind Meld, Donnie gives his family Chess Code names showing his interest in Chess but he didn’t simply give them Chess Piece names he combined Chess Pieces with their designated colours when making their code names.

Raph: Yellow Submarine are we clear?

April: Affirmative Red Rover

Raph: Purple Rain, do you see the target?

In the first episode & the episode Bull Hop we see Raph do something similar to Donnie where he combines the families designated colours with his own special interest in music.

Raph: Jumpin’ Jack Flash!

It seems as though Raph has an interest in music even yelling out ‘Jumpin’ Jack Flash!’ sometimes in surprise & Jumpin’ Jack Flash is actually a song by the Rolling Stones so that combined with the fact that the codenames Raph came up with are all different song titles it shows that Raph chose code names for his family based off his interest in music.

However Raph didn’t simply choose the song titles of any random song when coming up with code names but instead Raph specifically chose songs with colours in the titles to stick with the nicknames that Splinter gave them.

Though April doesn’t have a designated colour from Splinter the same way the Turtles do, April is often associated with the colour yellow with her often being coloured in yellow in the Rise comics & in the movie her Donnie Pod is yellow as well, so it’s very likely that the Turtles might associate April with yellow the same way they associate themselves with their own colours, which is why Raph gave April the code name Yellow Submarine.

The reason why Raph gave April a code name with a colour might be because Splinter gave the Turtles colour based nicknames so the Turtles might view getting or giving a colour based nickname as a form of affection.

Leo: I’m changing my code name too, uh... Blue Bluey! No... Blue... uh-

Donnie: No! No! No one is changing their code names

Leo: I’m Captain Bluemask

Though we don’t really see Leo make code names for his family whenever Leo tries to come up with a code name for himself he includes the colour Blue, calling himself ‘Captain Bluemask’ in Portal Jacked when he’s trying to sneak onto a pirate ship & though he struggles to make a code name for himself in the episode Mind Meld the one thing he’s sure of is including the colour his dad gave him in his code name.

Though the fact that Leo was easily able to come up with a code name when he had a pirate theme to work off of but struggled to come up with a theme for his codename outside his colour in Mind Meld shows that Leo has a harder time coming up with code names based off his special interests than Donnie & Raph do.

Leo: It’s me, you’re favourite teen detective Leo Splinterson 

When Leo comes up with a name that doesn’t include the colour Blue his code name is still obviously influenced by his dad as Leo calls himself ‘Leo Splinterson’

The name ‘Splinterson’ might be a slight nod to the 2003 TMNT series as in the 2003 series the Turtles didn’t use Hamato as their last name since the 2003 version of Splinter wasn’t Hamto Yoshi but instead similar to the Mirage version of Splinter, Spinter in the 2003 series was Hamato Yoshi’s pet rat that learnt ninjutsu from watching him.

The 2003 Turtles used ‘Splinterson’ as their last names because they were Splinter’s sons. Whether or not Rise is referencing the 2003 series when Leo calls himself ‘Leo Splinterson’ in the episode Bad Hair Day doesn’t change the fact that whenever Leo is trying to come up with a code name he’s thinking of Splinter, either putting the colour Blue in his codename because that’s the colour Splinter gave him or simply calling himself ‘Splinterson’ because Splinter is his dad.

Mikey: This is a job for Doctor Delicate Touch

Mikey: Good Morning, I’m Doctor Feelings

Mikey: Doctor Positive! The one whose gonna turn you from bad guy to glad guy!

The only one of the Turtles who really seems to break the convention of basing codenames off of the colours that Splinter gave them seems to be Mikey who instead consistently comes up with Doctor personas for himself.

Though Doctor Delicate Touch & Doctor Feelings ect aren’t exactly codenames it does show a pattern for Mikey to the point where Mikey even calls himself Doctor Rude when he & Raph pretend to be villains in order to crash Ghost Bears wedding in the scrapped season 2 episode Wedding Smashers giving himself another Doctor persona.

The fact that Mikey doesn’t include his colour in the aliases that he comes up with for himself might show that Mikey is the least influenced by Splinter out of his brothers, in contrast Leo might be the most influenced by Splinter because he can’t come up with a name outside the colour that Splinter gave him & when he tries to he still focuses on the fact that he’s Splinter’s son.

Raph & Donnie might be in the middle in regards to Splinter’s influence on them because they still hold onto the colours that Splinter gave them & their family when coming up with codenames but they combine those colours with their own special interests.

[blakbonnet]

ARTIST OF THE WEEK @midearthlingart ✨

This week's AOTW is Laz aka midearthling, and any AOTW event intending to bring classic ofmd art back into circulation would be incomplete without them <3 She agreed to answer a few questions for me and shared some great tips for beginners:

- Which do you use to draw (app/digital or traditional)?

I think everything posted here is digital, done mainly on Procreate, although I have started using Art Studio Pro more recently and I really like it (also an iPad app but available on other machines afaik!). I do like to doodle and do studies in my sketchbook though, I think it's good to keep me sharp and for a change of pace! And sometimes ideas come easier that way. But any completed pieces tend to be digital.

- Fave brushes/pencils/mediums (links/screenshots?)

On procreate I'm partial to using jingsketch basic’s flat brush, it’s so versatile for sketching and painting! Other brushes in my regular rotation are the default chalk and 6b brushes from procreate. I also have a soft ‘photoshop’ brush that I use to flat in colours, and a round brush I downloaded that I often use for sketching too; unfortunately I can’t remember where I got either of those ones but I’m pretty sure they were free! Sometimes I use random texture brushes, and the default watercolours in procreate.

- Your favourite piece you've drawn?

I go through phases of really loving some pieces and then hating them again (I often dislike my own art!) One of the best things I ever drew is a very nsfw comic so I unfortunately can’t share it on tumblr lmao. But in its stead, I think this and this have a special place in my heart.

- Who's harder to draw: Ed or Stede?

Honestly it just depends on the day! Both can be difficult to capture for different reasons; oddly I think for me I don’t have Ed’s face pinned down as much as I do with Stede’s. I’ve drawn them so much at this point I can bang them out without reference most of the time, but every now and again I’ll have a difficult angle and need to reference again! Stede’s nose is my absolute favourite to draw though.

- One essential tip for beginner artists?

Keep going! References and 3D models are your friend! It’s okay to make studies of other people’s works in order to learn (just don’t share and try to pass it off as your own!) Tracing photos to learn is also fine too, these are all just tools to help you hone your skill.

- Why OFMD? 🥹

It did something to my brain! I remember watching it back in March 2022 when there were only 6 episodes out at the time, I binged in one go and then the very next day watched all of them again. It just felt so cosy! I watched initially when I heard about it because I already loved Rhys and Taika’s works so needless to say it was hook, line and sinker from me from the start—I did not stand a chance! When it turned out to be a queer, middle-aged love story I knew it would be special to me forever.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

1, 5, 10, 19, and 20 for the fanfic writer asks please! 💜

wheeee, thank you! <3333333

1. Have you pulled inspiration from media sources other than the property your fic is related to (a plot point from a TV show that has nothing to do with the characters/setting of the fic, a line from a book, etc.)? If so, for which story? Why did you find that media source compelling? I...don't think so? I can't think of anything. I tend to write between the lines of canon, so any references etc generally tend to be to the canon, whatever it happens to be. Although I suppose All I Want Is You-'verse was originally inspired by Christmas movies? I dunno...has anyone spotted anything/can anyone remember anything?

5. Is there a tiny detail in one of your fics that you feel goes tragically unnoticed? I think there probably are, but I can't remember any specific ones (I have over 1.5million words and over 400 fics on AO3 these days which HOW); I do tend to put little details and references in, and they don't often get picked up on in comments, but then I'm not the kind of author who gets lots of comments and asks about all the different aspects of their writing so...I dunno *shrugs* Quite a few, I guess! I kind of feel like it's unfair of me to expect people to have ploughed through all my fics to recognise the little bits and bobs that I'm basically putting in for my own satisfaction.

10. If you could banish a single trope to live at the bottom of the ocean, never to be seen again by any human eyes (or at least your own), which trope would that be? Omegaverse. Absolutely. Gives me the absolute creeps. Also that thing with the insane possessiveness, I can't remember the name of it, but it's just...it makes me feel deeply, deeply uncomfortable. I saw a piece of art for one of my OTPs with that theme once where one character had cut the sinews of the other's heels so he couldn't leave, and I felt unsettled and upset by it for days afterwards. I mean, I tend to feel like most tropes are a bit pointless, I'd much rather write (or indeed read) a story without the hackneyed obligatory set-pieces, but those two are the ones that I really don't like.

19. What was the very first fanwork you ever created? (I’m talking like maybe you made a little book out of construction paper and staples with your favorite Disney characters drawn in it when you were five years old or you drew a comic about a movie you saw when you were a preteen. That sort of thing.) I think it was probably the story I attempted to write inspired by the movie Memphis Belle when I was 15; I grew up in the part of the country where the movie was set, so my utter obsession with it was just that bit deeper, and if internet fandom had been a thing in 1990/1991 I would have been up to my neck in it. (it's also the original source of my deep and abiding soft spot for Sean Astin) I was trying to write a kind of ghost story set in the 1940s and the 1990s, and it was just so far beyond me I couldn't capture it. I was far too young. Maybe I ought to try it again sometime...I am still utterly intrigued by the Eighth Army Air Force, after all. (I couldn't get on with Masters of the Air, I am sorry to say, despite it being full of my beloved B-17 Flying Fortresses...I tried very hard but didn't get beyond about episode three)

20. Is there anything about any one of your fics that you have been dying to discuss but haven’t had the chance to? I am DYING to talk about my TRSB piece! Eight days to go! It features someone with a very strong personality who has been confined to the sidelines of my stories so far (plus some of my very favourite characters to write) and is finally stepping into the spotlight, and once they started talking they just did. not. stop. I had to put my foot down and wrap it up despite, in my own opinion, not having actually really got to the point of the story, or really been able to tackle the plot points that had come up, because I ran out of time. So there will be a sequel that will hopefully pick all of that up, just as soon as I've recovered from the experience (and from Writers' Month, which has been siphoning off a lot of my time and energy from TRSB, although if I hadn't been doing Writers' Month and had been able to finish this fic, it would probably have been pushing 80-100k, which is RIDICULOUS. When this particular character decides to talk, OH BOY do they talk.)

Thank you for asking! <3333333 anyone else fancy asking me some fic writer questions?

[do-it-for-the-fandom]

Pls ramble for hours about your thought about season 3 caskett!!

Okay, just remember… you asked for this 🤣 Just to keep it clear in my mind I’ll go through episode by episode (thanks to Wikipedia for their handy dandy episodes lists that I refer to almost daily at this point, I swear).

I’ve been going through season 2 and 3 with a very critical eye in regards to Castle/Beckett interactions while in relationships with other people for a fic I’m working on so you might think some of this is very nitpicking (and tbh it probably is) but this is all based on a conversation I had with a friend where we discussed “if our significant other did these things, would be be okay with that?” and - spoiler alert - I’d like my partners goo-goo eyes to be aimed at me not the pretty ladies he works with 🤣

Anyway, here it is: my rambling about the ‘blurred lines’ and slightly questionable behaviour (most of which would be fine if it weren’t for the “they’re madly in love with one another but deeply in denial” of it all, you know?)

I know I said season 3 Caskett but we need to take a quick journey back to season 2 just for some background information. There is an important scene in season 2 that set us up for season 3 (in my opinion). It was like a little sprinkling that softened the “bad behaviour” of our favourites.

In 2x22 Food to Die For, Cecily (the victim’s ‘friend’) says “You have no idea how hard it is to love someone knowing they’re gonna break your heart.” and there is a look of understanding on Beckett’s face as she processes these words, as if she does know how hard it is.

Later, Beckett and Castle have a conversation about Wolf (the victim) and Cecily. It goes a little like this:

Castle: You ask me... she should've followed her heart-- left David, gone with Wolf.

Beckett: You know, I can see the virtue in staying. I mean, guys like Wolf, they come in, they upset the apple cart. Of course he makes you feel alive, but eventually, you know he's just gonna let you down. So why risk it?

Castle: Because the heart wants what it wants.

We learn two things from this conversation.

1. Beckett obviously relates to Cecily’s situation and - given what we can see from her interactions with Castle throughout this season vs her interactions with Demming (her boyfriend at the time) - it’s safe to say Demming isn’t her Wolf, Castle is.

2. Castle is a ‘hopeless romantic’. He can (and will) justify anything if it is in the name of love.

In the season 2 finale, Beckett was willing to take the risk, though. She left her David, her safe option, to pursue what the heart wants and it backfired before she even got that far! Beckett is guarded; she won’t let herself make that mistake again.

Then we get to season 3 and the red flags start popping up left, right and centre.

Beckett is still upset at Castle - but mostly at herself because she’s the one that allowed herself to think Castle wouldn’t break her heart. Castle makes his way back onto the team under the promise that it’s just one case, then a bet is made that if he solves the case first he can come back more permanently. In the end we find out (or, at least, it’s heavily implied - I cant 100% recall) that Beckett purposely lets Castle win so that he can come back.

Mistake number 1. If she really intended on ‘moving on’, she never should have let Castle back. Obviously she’s under the impression that they can be friends but she’s already lying to herself 🚩and that is a slippery slope. It also doesn’t take her very long to fall back into the habit of teasing and flirting with him which I’m also torn about. It can’t really be classed as harmless flirting, right, when there’s underlying feelings? But given that this has always been their ‘thing’, I do tend to overlook that.

My first major issue comes with episode 3x03 Under The Gun when we are introduced to Royce. There’s history there, a lot of great memories, I get it: she’s happy to see her training officer again!

Then things get a little personal; she had a crush on him, maybe he had feelings for her back in the day too, they have a moment.

And then he betrays her.

I’m feeling sorry for her right now, like… girl, do you need a hug?

Anyways, my 🚩🚩🚩 is that Josh is introduced to us (and the team) in literally the next episode. And not just mentioned in passing - he comes to the precinct! That doesn’t seem very “we’ve only been dating for a week” of him.

Throwback to before Ryan introduced Jenny to the team, Beckett said “I wouldn’t bring my boyfriend here.” and although Josh’s visit wasn’t planned, she also didn’t seem too bothered by his presence there.

My theory is she met Josh over the summer (while Castle was away), probably introduced by a mutual friend and it may have been a slow start/super casual thing at first that became more once Castle was back at the precinct. Maybe Josh wanted more from the beginning, but Beckett held back? Maybe Royce’s betrayal was the push she needed?

Because she’s been burned twice in such a short time; and here is this man - a young, handsome doctor who keeps just busy enough to not demand too much of her in her vulnerable state - that is into her and she’s into him. He’s interesting, he’s ambitious and passionate and there is definite potential for this to be love so, why not? He can be her safe option.

But, I don’t know, Josh’s “Kate hasn’t told you about me, has she?” just makes me feel like the relationship isn’t all that new, you know? So the Josh/Royce timeline does make me wonder.

Also, Castle went home that night and even Alexis said he was ‘distracted’ and seemed down. Like, you’re with Gina dude, why does Beckett having a boyfriend bother you? 🚩

In 3x05 Anatomy of a Murder, things seem to be fine again. Josh apparently is an effective distraction, Castle has his little fight with Gina but they make up and everything is all fairly neutral until Beckett and Castle are going through the love letters and Castle reads out the “I love you” line. They both have a very guilty kind of reaction to that. Why? Because they both obviously feel something, otherwise it would be a laughable moment.

And then Castle is all goo-goo eyes when Beckett says she’d get him out of prison, because his mother said that’s a sign of true love? Tell me you’re not in love with the person you’re dating without telling me you’re not in love with the person you’re dating. #poorGina. Now, I’m not saying you have to be in love right away… but when you’re going for shot #2 with your ex-wife you’d think after several months (or however long it’s been at this point) you’d be a little more committed. Idk, maybe that’s just me.

They have that moment after Jerry Tyson gets away but I really think that’s just a genuine moment of comfort and friendship. I think it’s really sweet.

I think that while Beckett’s relationship with Josh is going well, everything stays fairly neutral. Nothing else really flags for me until 3x11 Nikki Heat. Beckett really struggles with her jealousy but I think that’s just her realising that those feelings are still there, which she obviously has to process and deal with. Also I don’t think we can deny that watching someone ‘become you’ would be hella weird.

Castle, however, doesn’t even try to hide how much he is enjoying Nikki Heat coming to life and the more Natalie tries to be Kate, the more Castle likes her. It’s a little… odd.

And when Natalie kisses him, it’s not rushed. He has plenty of time to stop it but he doesn’t. His little “Natalie, I…” isn’t good enough in my opinion. Like, poor Gina… again.

Even the next morning when Beckett is pissed because she thinks that Castle slept with Natalie, no one is thinking about HIS GIRLFRIEND in all of this. Beckett even asks him why he didn’t sleep with her and was the answer “because I’m in a relationship”? No. No it was not. *sigh*

3x12 Poof! You’re Dead is where the cracks really show between Castle and Gina; the fight, the ignored calls and eventually the break up. Good riddance, I say. Anyways… I just wanted to mention one little moment that sticks with me: when Beckett pickpockets Castle’s phone and is holding it up, then Gina calls and Castle hangs up - you can see that she’s like ‘wtf was that about’ but she doesn’t ask. Now either this is absolutely killing her but she’s setting boundaries OR she’s genuinely starting to move on (not as likely). Even when Lanie brings up Gina, Beckett is playful but as soon as the fight is mentioned she looks super uncomfortable. Kind of like she knows this might be the end for Castle and Gina, and she isn’t sure how to feel about that.

Side note: getting Edmund to dress up as dead Zalman is completely unhinged like who thought that was okay? Effective, yes. But so unhinged. Surely that had to be traumatising haha.

I won’t rehash my thoughts on the 3x13 kiss; if you need refreshing on my take here’s the post.

I will say that Castle in this episode - specifically during Vulcan Simmons’ interrogation - was so 😍😍. The way he was so fiercely protective of Beckett omg. And then admitting to Martha that “this isn’t about the books anymore” I squee like a 12-year-old girl.

every. damn. time.

In Beckett’s apartment when she asks “so why do you keep coming back, Rick?” like omg 😱 the tension, the hesitation, THE USE OF HIS FIRST NAME, the intensity in their eye contact.

He 100% should have told her then and there that he loved her.

She was practically begging him to, right?

Josh was in Africa, she was emotionally vulnerable, her life in danger… she wasn’t thinking straight. Not sure if she was testing herself or Castle, but his answer (aka his avoidance of confessing his feelings and instead just insisting that he is there for her) obviously passed the test.

Which is probably for the best. Because even if he had confessed his feelings, even if something had happened between them; it would have been too messy of a beginning for it to end well. It more than likely would have ruined everything so…

Anyways, I’m getting sidetracked.

The next case in 3x14 Lucky Stiff gives us yet another undercover side mission - aka, this iconic Caskett moment:

Like, girl 🥵 I can’t breathe why are you doing this? She is looking at him with pure lust in her eyes. It is sooooo unnecessary.

But I don’t mind this little flirty dance too much, I just brought it up because I wanted to use the GIFs 🤭

3x16 Setup and 3x17 Countdown Beckett is distracted and she is struggling, very obviously. Josh is leaving again, she doesn’t want him to go; it’s obvious that she sees this might be the beginning of the end for them. But it’s not because she doesn’t love him (I do believe that by this point she has very real feelings for him) but because I think she’s starting to recognise the same problems she has had in previous relationships - *cough* Sorensen *cough* - she doesn’t feel like a priority; once again she’s taken a back seat to the guys career.

Which does confuse me a little bit. I mean, Beckett wouldn’t put a man ahead of her career (and she doesn’t, we see that later on in the series) so I really don’t see her expecting someone to put her ahead of their career. Which makes me think that this wasn’t the real issue. My question is: does Beckett know that this wasn’t the real issue?

Maybe she just senses that something isn’t right and assumes that it is his leaving again? Or maybe she knows exactly why she is feeling this way - *cough* Castle *cough* - but doesn’t want to admit that to herself so she finds another excuse? Like, this is obviously an issue but is it the issue?

But omg was Beckett going to say “I love you” to Castle? I do find this totally plausible. Her relationship is on the rocks and she thinks that she is just moments from certain death; what has she got to lose?

Anyways, Josh chooses to stay and apparently that’s all Beckett needs to be reassured 🚩🚩🚩

Like, surely if she had gotten that close to saying those three words to Castle (which, I guess we don’t actually know if that’s what she was going to say, right?) she would see that her relationship with Josh wasn’t going to work.

Now, my friend and I actually disagreed on Beckett and Castle going to see a movie together at the end of 3x19 Law and Murder. I figured it was harmless enough, but he reminded me of my original point: can any of this be harmless when there’s underlying feelings? Where is the line between innocent and careless? Idk, I’m not sold either way on this one. Beckett is a nerd and was excited to let that inner nerd free; she probably didn’t tear her eyes away from the screen the entire time. Or, conversely, maybe she watched Castle the whole time, waiting to see if he shared her appreciation of the movie, heart filling with joy as she realised he loved the movie as much as she did.

Most importantly, I wonder; when Josh asked her how her night was, how much did she tell him?

Next, we have the Alex Conrad situation of 3x21 The Dead Pool. Castle was so mean to him and I felt bad for the poor guy; he was just trying to be like his favourite author! 😂 But we see Castle being quite possessive over Beckett which probably should be a red flag 🚩 but I loved it, I won’t lie.

The “I’m a one-writer girl” spiel started out fine, too but the long, yearning looks just really take the innocence out of it like just admit that you’re in love already, seriously.

And then we have LA…

Like, Beckett is distraught, right? She puts up a good front but she is reeling from Royce’s death. I don’t even want to think about how Royce being left to die in an alley would bring up so many memories of her mother’s murder, too! Montgomery gets it, he does what he needs to do.

And I fully understand that Castle - as a friend - wants to be there for her. He wants her to know that she’s not alone, that she has support. I’m not saying that he did anything wrong!

However… you could clearly see that he was all for crossing lines that night! He sat there waiting, hoping that she would change her mind!

She was vulnerable, he forced his way into her ‘vacation’ (that wasn’t fooling anyone) and insisted she stay with him. I just… idk. I believe that he should have been the one putting a stop to things here, you know? Like, now is not the time to make a move.

And our girl spent entirely too long standing on the other side of that door contemplating “do I or don’t I?”. And even if “think of Josh”, “you love Josh” or any sort of consideration for her boyfriend had crossed her mind - SHE OPENED THE DAMN DOOR!

What if Castle was still there? What would have happened? This was 120% too close a call.

Yes, I was there with literally every other Caskett fan when we were crying, screaming, pleading with our TV sets; “just do it!”. I can still hear the collective “noooooo!” when Castle’s door clicked shut, the millions of hearts that broke in the very moment.

But that doesn’t make their behaviour any less sketchy, just saying.

And then we have Beckett reading (for possibly the hundredth time) Royce’s letter. Refresher: in the letter, Royce comments on Beckett’s relationship with Castle and how it’s ‘real’ and she shouldn’t run from it (or fight it, I don’t remember exactly what he says). And you can see that she is taking these words to heart, really giving them a lot of consideration. And this is the letter that she read at the crime scene, so this ‘revelation’ (that she’s actually known for close to a year now) has been in the back of her mind this whole trip. Like, she’s so conflicted!

Call me crazy but I feel like that’s a pretty good sign that you should stop stringing along your boyfriend. I don’t know, just a thought. Anyways…

3x24 Knockout. The fight. The fight. Finally, they’re addressing the elephant in the room. Or, at least, they aren’t completely ignoring its existence.

“And what about you, Rick?”

“Is that what we are?”

“I don’t know what we are. We kiss, and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other’s arms but we never talk about it. So, no, I got no clue what we are!”

“We’ve been madly in love but so deeply in denial that neither one of us knows what’s real anymore.”

Okay, so that last one wasn’t actually said but it’s still the truth.

At this point, I think Beckett realises that she can’t ‘have her cake and eat it too’. As long as Castle is in her life, she’s not going to be able to get past her feelings for him.

But she’s still not ready to take that risk again. She’s determined that her ‘safe choice’ is the only choice. That’s why she pushes him away. In the heat of the moment, she tells him they are done. But even once she cools down… she tells Montgomery she wants him gone, she ignores TWENTY THREE of Castle’s calls.

She’s finally made the decision she should have made months ago.

And if Montgomery didn’t bring Castle to the hangar, maybe she would have stuck to it. But, she also would have died either that night or at his funeral.

Anyways, this has accidentally turned into me convincing myself that their love for one another and their questionable decisions ultimately saved her. Every decision they made, every blurry line and questionable moment led them to that moment standing together at Montgomery’s funeral.

If that isn’t fate…

Anywho… for anyone who actually read this; let me know your thoughts! I’d love to hear other opinions.

Thank you to all the wonderful GIF makers for all the great GIFs. Appreciate your work!

[sugdenlovesdingle]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks for tagging me @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad

I love wasting time with these things when I'm supposed to be writing 😉

How many works do you have on AO3? In total 262, for tarlos 24 (and counting)

What's your total AO3 word count? 642,739 (holy shit)

What fandoms do your write for? at the moment just 911 lone star/tarlos, but I'm kind of looking into RWRB/firstprince, and depending on a certain mister R. Hawley, I might get pulled back into emmerdale/robron

What are your top five fics by kudos? I'll stick to tarlos for this or else it'll just be 5 robron fics Austin TX first responders week - TK and Carlos have to give a talk about their jobs at a school for Austin's first responders week. Filling in the blanks - a post episode/missing moment of Owen finding out what happened to Carlos in 4x04 See you later - Marjan going to say goodbye to a still recovering Carlos before she leaves in 4x05 - kind of a missing moment It started with a concussion - a meet ugly with Carlos literally running into TK while chasing a suspect Love and Lou - The Lou fic! Vet!Carlos AU meet cute with a little help from Lou I and II

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Not as often as I should. I never know what to say other than "Thank you" and i just end up reading the comments 50 times over (and i save the emails from AO3) and I'm like I LOVE YOU PERSON LEAVING A COMMENT ON MY SILLY LITTLE STORY YOU MADE MY DAY - but only in my head because i don't want to seem too weird. Idk - I overthink things.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings. Though PS I love you is a little bittersweet I guess. TK getting a letter from Gwyn on his wedding day.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them! I need a happy ending - always. But I suppose it was 'earned' the most in California where they both Go Through It before they get their happy ending.

Do you get hate on fics? I haven't on tarlos fics but I did get a hater on one of my anti chas robron fics once. I just deleted the comment.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not really. I've tried... but it's just not for me.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not really. Unless you count the tiny blink and you miss it RWRB reference in Swing swing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope but I've translated fics from German to English for a friend yeeeeeaaaars ago - for Luke/Noah from As The World Turns

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have, several. For Luke/Noah from ATWT way back in the day. it was an Experience™

What's your all time favourite ship? I can't pick just one!

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Undercover Carlos - I really want to finish it but I'm so bad at multi chapter fics. I'm bad at planning and I lose motivation and everyone else loses interest. I'm going to try get back to it when I'm done with my flufftober fics (so somewhere next summer or so 🙃)

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue for sure. and cutesy oneshots.

What are your writing weaknesses? Describing stuff. Translating the "picture" I have in my head to words on 'paper' is The Worst. Also planning and plotting a story - I tend to make stuff up as I go (which is why I suck at long multichapter fics)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Don't do it unless you speak the language or know someone who does who can check it for you. Google translate is NOT your friend. A few words here and there (like the Spanish terms of endearment in tarlos fics) is fine, you can't really go wrong with that, but for more than that you need someone who actually speaks the language.

First fandom you wrote for? Luke and Noah - As The World Turns

Favourite fic you've written? For Tarlos I had a lot of fun with my Lou fic that I mentioned earlier and The perfect costume has done some interesting things to my insta algorithm, and The power of a muddy dog was fun because I like soft!TK with Buttercup. But all of my fics have *something* that makes them *special* to me.

If you've read all this... I'm impressed lol

tagging: @noxsoulmate @carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @lightningboltreader @bonheur-cafe @sanjuwrites and and an open tag for whoever feels like doing this because I never know who to tag!

[yayakoishii]

Thoughts on Black Clover, so far!

Finished the anime till Ep. 65 / Spoilers if you haven't watched till there!

I'm really loving the show so far, especially the last 3 episodes (63, 64, 65) like they all are personally some of my super favourites in all that I have seen.

The characters are great, well-written and rounded, which I love. The Black Bulls are growing on me with time and backstories, and I really like Vanessa now! She's amazing.

One thing I noticed is the way Asta refers to the female members of the Black Bulls – and how it's different from the male ones. It's usually Magna-senpai, Gauche-senpai, Finral-senpai, etc. with them but in the girls, it's just

Charmy-paisen (exchanging the positions of the kanjis of sen and pai) It's adorable!!

Vanessa-neesan (term for older sister, with respect) and it suits her so well! She's like a caring older sister crossed with a crazy wine aunt attitude 😂

Also, I keep getting minor crushes on all the members everytime a new backstory is revealed lmao.

That's not to say that there are no characters that are just not to my taste. My feelings for Noelle are iffy at best; the tsundere attitude is cute only to a certain extent and definitely not enjoyable when she's hurting a wounded Asta because she is embarassmed about something. I get that it's probably light-hearted humour but it's a little irritating for me.

Also, surprisingly, Yuno. I liked him before, but thinking of certain things he did before, I don't like that he's kinda rude at times. Not in an obvious way, but in minor ways that you can see when he's interacting with Klaus and Bell. He's totally normal and great when it comes to Asta, but I have certain frustrations about him being so closed off to his own teammates. It's fine if he doesn't want to open up his heart, but Klaus is still his senior and if your senior has told you to act in a certain way, you're supposed to follow it. There's a hierarchy in squads for a reason, and Yuno just blatantly disregarding his orders without explanation is a sign that he's either careless, rude or not a team player at all.

Which would be fine, if he wasn't a Magic Knight in a squad. He has to know how to co-operate and co-ordinate with others instead of just doing whatever he wants. I get that superiors and seniors are not always right, but in that case, you're supposed to explain to them why your plan is a better alternative. You're supposed to talk shit out!!

I'm a little disappointed in Yuno for that, but I really hope that in the future episodes, he does learn to do this. He's a super contrast to Asta in that sense, who has by now fought multiple battles in co-ordination with his teammates. All of Yuno's fights (rare as they are) are solo and while he is strong enough to handle things by himself, there will be a day one day when he can't do things by himself. Closing off communication with your teammates will definitely not be helpful then :(

I'm just gonna end this unasked for rant post with a hair down Magna because,, I apparently tend to fall for characters who slick back their hair but look way hotter with their hair down. (side eyes Nishinoya)

[joziokowalski]

4 and 10 for the books ask game

hehee thank you for asking!! i ended up typing up a lot of words, but then why shouldn't i type up a lot of words about my favourite books. many thanks for giving me an excuse to do so!

4. What are your top 3 comfort reads?

1 e m forster: a life by p n furbank i'm very fond of biographies in general and this one is my absolute favourite. it's as informative as one could wish, and personally i found it extremely engrossing - i feel like it's easy to assume that forster couldn't have had a very exciting life, but this narration, to me, was a real page-turner. very endearing, frequently quite hilarious, i love the fact that it's written in a tone similar to that of forster's own novels, i e often ironic but also brimming with warmth and sympathy for its subjects, even though they aren't idealized in the slightest. it's got lots of excerpts from diaries, letters, etc. so one gets to look into a lot of forster's (as well as lots of other people's) thoughts that he didn't write down for publication, and personally i have found those extremely valuable at many points in my life. the book itself is quite hefty so i wrote out many passages of it into a notebook when i was leaving for university to make sure i would have them with me if i need to come back to them. generally, i'd say one of the comforts of a good biography is that it makes one feel that ultimately every life can be narrated in a way that makes one see the value of it, so maybe those of us who tend to find things rather pointless and meaningless can take a break from that, and this particular biography delivers this 100%

2 the orchid trilogy by jocelyn brooke the thing about this book is that it feels like it was written specfically for my own personal enjoyment. it's like a perfect amalgamation of all the things i tend to love in a book. fictionalized autobiography - check. a dense web of references to artists i'm familiar with and fond of - check. a tone of melancholy and nostalgia married perfectly to irony - check. a deeply obsessive nerd of a narrator who can and will tell you everything about his subjects of interest - check. a preoccupation with the themes of failure, disappointment, adolescence, mediocrity and inferiority, a fascination with the morbid and the sinister coupled with childish naivety, (homo)eroticism always camouflaged in one way or another but in such a manner that only makes it stand out more, a gorgeous gorgeous personal mythology and a sense of getting to borrow someone's very extraordinary personal lens and look at the world with new eyes. and it's funny - at least i have found myself laughing out loud many a time while reading it. there is something especially touching to me in the fact that i only discovered it by sheer accident and even though it's so intertwined with so many of the things i adore i can't think how i could've come upon it if not for a myriad of circumstances coming together. it's a gem i could very well have missed, which i think is quite fitting considering that so much of this book is about the narrator's search for elusive objects that have the power to afford him transcendent extasies but can only be encountered by chance

3 ferdydurke by witold gombrowicz this might be an odd choice of a comfort book, seeing that it's the opposite of peaceful or warm or any other associations the word carries, but that's what it is to me, mainly because i find it endlessly ValidatingTM. firstly, a huge chunk of it is basically merciless absurdist satire levelled at some of the things i also despise with a passion (cough cough school episodes). generally it exposes many things one is normally supposed to accept as if they were ok for the fever dream that they are. and secondly, we reasonable psychologically aware people talk so much about the dangers of depending on other people's perceptions of ourselves, being preoccupied with how we appear to others, giving others the power to define us, we all know very well that those are the things that pave the road to misery and we're trying very hard to liberate ourselves from that, which is very healthy and reasonable of us. but mr gombrowicz frankly chooses violence and embraces neurosis, and posits all those things as unavoidable ("Man Is Profoundly Dependent On The Reflection Of Himself In Another Man's Soul Be It Even The Soul Of An Idiot". yeah panie witoldzie i sure am). so what you get in ferdydurke is a disgustingly relatable deep dive into the horrors of being a person among other people & Being Perceived. his characters have no selves outside of their interactions with others, they are either shaped by other people's treatment of them or artificially shape themselves to resist the influence of others, and they will spend every waking moment fighting tooth and nail to gain control over how others perceive them. and it's a romp! it's one of the funniest books i've ever read. gombrowicz & his narrator is a delightful self-absorbed contrarian who doesn't leave a table unflipped or an apple cart unupset. and, paradoxically, reading about the neuroses that plague one's life can feel extremely comforting when they're presented so unapologetically and with such incisive wit

10. What is your favorite genre book to recommend to someone who doesn’t usually like that genre?

hmm. the problem is, i don't think i read much of what could be labelled as genre books, so i'm actually the one who should be taking recommendations here! the only GenreTM genre i'm really into is nautical fiction, and i won't be very original here - i'll just say that the aubrey-maturin novels by patrick o'brian are gorgeously well-written and so rich in their subject matter, style and manner, that anyone, i believe, could find something in them to enjoy. there's the immersive historical setting, beautiful language, lots of humor (both of the subtle and cringe awkward in-your-face variety), delightfully vivid characters and so much more. if the imagined addressee of my recommendation happens to dislike quick-paced plot-driven adventure stories or lengthy descriptions of sea battles, they will be relieved to find that there aren't that many action sequences in these novels and plot development is very often not the priority. and though the amount of naval jargon may seem intimidating at first, one quickly sees that understanding it at all times actually isn't that much of a requirement, and the novels are written in a way that a reader who doesn't have any knowledge of it will have key terms explained to them when necessary, and at other times will have characters to relate to who don't understand a damn thing of all the sailor talk either. (another author i love who technically fits the genre is herman melville and i sure do believe that moby dick and billy budd are gorgeous wonderful amazing books that are very much worth reading, but tbh i would generally hesitate to recommend them unless to a kind of person i believe would really enjoy them - for better or for worse, they are not everyone's cup of tea, and many of the features that might attract or put someone off don't have much to do with the nautical aspect of these stories imo)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

My thoughts on the first Long-Running Panel Show Friday of 2023.

Would I Lie to You: Obviously, the most important thing about this episode is I went 4-1 in guessing the answers before they were announced, which is a strong start to a new season. The only one I got wrong is the This Is My round... sorry I didn’t guess that Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith play pranks on each other by mimicking autoerotic asphyxiation and urinating in offices.

Anyway, the episode was good. I’m impressed that I don’t feel like this one’s sagged even into its sixteenth season; David and Lee both still appear to be enjoying themselves. They both ran out of stories years ago, but not out of enthusiasm. Also, why is this the first time I’ve ever heard someone on a panel show tell the audience that if anyone on the other team is your friend, get some new friends? That seems like the sort of thing people should be saying all time.

QI: That was a good time. Not a standout episode, but a solid one. Lou Saunders made me laugh almost every time she opened her mouth. Classic play from Alan Davies, getting excited about blue whales and talking shit about Top Gear. He and Ross Noble play off each other well. And I think Rose Matafeo made me laugh literally every time she opened her mouth. I love her style on panel shows, of sort of sitting back (often literally leaning backward a bit) and sounding vaguely apologetic for interrupting every time she interjects, and it’s always funny.

The News Quiz: “We are barely a week into 2024, and I have already broken my two New Year’s resolutions: not to add one to all numbers.” – Andy Zaltzman

I mean, what more can we ask for from a radio panel show than that as the first line? That was so entertaining that I barely noticed anything else that happened. Chris McCausland and Lucy Porter are always good on this show, and they both came well prepared for this one. Had quite a bit of pre-written material on very recent stuff, I guess they were busy over Christmas. And of all the journalists they cycle through on this show, Samira Ahmed has become one of my favourites.

Andy Zaltzman referring to Rishi Sunak as “the first Prime Minister of 2023″ was good too. He had a number of nice lines. I love the little ways he commits to bits; anyone else would have dropped the thing about not giving out points after the first couple of times. I’ll be honest, it was just nice to hear from him. Missed you, Andy. Glad you’re back for another year.

8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown: You know what? After I’ve made two posts in the last few weeks about how this show’s gone stale and they need to respectfully lay it to rest, I thought this episode was good. It wasn’t the lineup I saw announced earlier, and I was immediately annoyed when I saw Jonathan Ross, but actually, it worked well. My favourite part of the episode was Ahir Shah, in his Catsdown debut. He was some of the things that used to make it so much fun to watch Jon Richardson on this show - a genuine Countdown fan who was excited to be there and got really into trying to do well. He paired nicely with Roisin, who’s always good on this show (I mean, bad at the actual puzzles, but her type of humour fits well with the format). Even Jonathan Ross, whom I normally dislike, was funny a few times. And I thought Joe Wilkinson was on good form; he made me laugh several times.

I also liked the stand-in for Rachel Riley. I’d be very happy to have her on all the time instead of Rachel. The dictionary corner guest annoyed me at the beginning - I tend to cringe at too much of a millennial/gen Z self-parody schtick - by the end she’d completely won me around and I though she was fantastic.

I hate saying that I think this episode was so good because Jon Richardson wasn’t there, as my favourite versions of Jon Richardson are pretty much my favourite comedy out there. I absolutely love Jon Richardson, when he’s good. He and Sean Lock had something perfect going for a while, on this and 8 Out of 10 Cats. Channel 4 struck gold with that chemistry, and they were right to get as much mileage as possible out of it. But that’s gone now.

Jon had something very good going before Sean Lock too, of course, the radio show with Russell Howard being much, much better than something like that had any right to be. So one of his partnerships ended in the most dramatic breakup of the twenty-first century, and one ended in a premature death. No wonder he’s tired. Anyway, I think Jon needs to find a new challenge if he’s going to be as entertaining as he used to be again. Maybe if he got paired with Ahir Shah sometime it would bring some of the spark back, get him competitive about something.

[whispsofwind]

To me, a really important tassel of the puzzle is the idea of free will.

This is one of my favourite book morsels, which of course got partially adapted in the second season of the show

Aziraphale had tried to explain it to him once. The whole point, he’d said—this was somewhere around 1020, when they’d first reached their little Arrangement—the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be. Whereas people like Crowley and, of course, himself, were set in their ways right from the start. People couldn’t become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked.

Now I know there's a certain amount of discussion on how much book characterisation can apply to the TV show, but I feel this one strikes pretty close in terms of how angels and demons approach life.

As a general rule, they think themselves incapable of being something different than what they are. They ARE their job descriptions (*). Angels are good, and everything they do must therefore be righteous (this includes of course smiting innocent people and drowning children)(**). Demons are evil and therefore everything they do must be evil (even when we know for a fact that demons aren't nearly as bad as people can be and Hell clearly doesn't love Nazis that much, considering the torture and everything).

Anyway, I feel like this specific mindset must actively make it harder for any ethereal being to understand subtexual language. Even setting aside the complex cultural references necessary to understand subtext and metaphors (***), ethereal beings are just... trained to take things at face value, I feel.

Because if they begin to actually analyse the drivel they are fed, then everything falls apart. Angels would lose their core identity as Beings of Goodness, and demons would lose their reason of existing as Beings of Evil who Oppose Good.

So if you take Aziraphale, he is smart. Very smart. He's good at making connections and solving puzzles, and then when it's time to reach the following step of metatextual analysis he slams against the Terror of Your Entire Being Not Being What You Thought It Was. When necessary he tends to sidestep this by following back on "ok ok maybe Heaven is misguided BUT the Ineffable Plan is Ineffable, which means I CAN Do the Right Thing even if my fellow angels disagree :D".

(Which is why I personally think that Aziraphale's behaviour in S2 is not a regression, but rather the inevitable result of deciding that Heaven Is Misguided But God is Still Benevolent and Possibly On My Side (End if S1), and Oh Look The Metatron Agrees and I can Change Things and EVERYTHING WILL BE WONDERFUL :DDDDDD". This is also in stark contrast with Crowley but that's for another day")

Anyway, yeah. Cult brainwashing, not good for developing critical skills when approaching literature. Who knew.

(*) this is obviously bullshit but hey. Who's gonna tell

(**) this is actually why I feel Gabriel was so conflict-less in s2: there's no possible self doubt when you are absolutely 100% of always being Right TM

(***) plenty of hard-core American republicans somehow still thinks that classic Star Trek was not "woke", unlike modern Trek, because somehow the pro choice episode and the entirety of the cast flew under their radar. Cultural clues and context are ENORMOUSLY IMPORTANT when analysing a text, just saying

I’m wondering about your thoughts on something I’ve been musing on after S2. How good is Aziraphale’s reading comprehension? How much does he understand subtext and metaphor? Because his behavior this season struck me with the impression that he didn’t really understand the books he collects. He’s clever at puzzle solving, and contains vast knowledge; but he always seems to take things at face value (when he’s not willfully misunderstanding), and refuses to give up black-and-white thinking, which would make it very difficult to analyze texts.

Angels, demons, language, and culture: part 1

You sure ask the difficult ones. (Which is great, I'm totally jazzed about it!)

I delayed answering this ask because it sent me off in a lot of directions:

What is an angel's starting knowledge base?

In contrast, how and what do we humans learn about our world and one another?

Which of these learning methods is not really available to an angel?

What do humans learn from books, fiction especially?

What kinds of information get left implicit in books because authors are humans writing for other humans?

How would an angel fill in those blanks? How would those blanks distort an angel's notion of How Humans and Human Things Work?

What would angels generally and either Aziraphale or Muriel (because yeah, it's hard to have this discussion without thinking about Muriel too) specifically read human-authored fiction for?

I don't have all the answers to the above questions. Not even CLOSE. I happily invite my fellow meta-ists to weigh in on any or all of them!

But let's see what I can tease out. We'll start with factory settings, so to speak.

Angelic vs. human factory settings

(questions 1 through 3)

Angels have (one) language. They have music -- or, at least, they can sing Her praises (likely by rote). At least some, like our Starmaker, have the knowledge to do specific jobs. Note that Aziraphale not only doesn't know how to make stars and nebulas, he's not even clear on what a nebula is. We can safely assume from that that angels don't all possess the same set of knowledge and skills purely by virtue (heh) of being angels.

We don't see, however, how much of what they know is simply an angel's birthright versus how much of it is somehow educated into them. We also don't know how She divvies up necessary knowledge, though I'd think it safe (given most takes on angelology) to guess that angelic rank and intended function are part of Her calculus, perhaps even the whole of it.

What strikes me hardest is that angels seem to be created either as adults or children (which is what I believe the scareable "cherubs" are), and they may well never change that state. The Starmaker is childlike in some ways, but not a child. Likely never was a child! Aziraphale, Before the Beginning, isn't childlike at all; his personality seems pretty close to fully-formed.

And children learn so very, very much. Babies learn so much as babies, while their neuroplasticity is super super plastic! Especially they learn about relating to other beings! (Which the Starmaker is conspicuously Not Real Great at, honestly -- absorbed in the work of creation, the Starmaker does not pick up the feelings Aziraphale is laying down at all.)

Children also learn one OR MORE languages, and that "more" is rather important, because language shapes how we think to some extent (the extent of that extent, and its nature, are objects of fierce debate among linguists and neuroscientists), and different languages shape us differently. Just as Crowley (as plenty of theologians argue) did humanity a favor with the whole knowledge-of-good-and-evil thing, the Tower of Babel (assuming that was a thing that happened in the GOverse; no reason it wouldn't have, I suppose) added a whole lot of nuance and complexity and competing understandings to humanity's sense of itself and its universe.

Exactly how angels and demons manage to speak all human languages (which Crowley indicates they can) isn't clear. If we accept that the Tower of Babel happened, both Heaven and Hell must have had to figure out a way to deal with it.

We do see, however, that angels and demons can be fluent in human languages without being fluent in human thought or human cultures. Gabriel and Sandalphon speak perfect English yet barely know which end of a book is up. Hastur and Ligur can't disentangle ciao/chow. And, I mean, actual food? Fuhgeddaboudit. So I see their linguistic facility as a sort of Douglas Adams Babel fish: it can translate an angel's or demon's thought into the target language, but it can't help an angel or demon think like an actual speaker of that language.

As an example, Gabriel can tell Job and Sitis about their new children, perfectly fluently. His purely-linguistic fluency does not help him understand that they loved their old children, much less why.

This may explain why Aziraphale studied French under M. Rossignol. He perhaps didn't feel he understood how French speakers think, and was interested enough in that to learn the language (as other meta-ists have noted, the language of love!) the human way.

So yeah, if I have a conclusion here it's that angels and demons can seem as off-center as they often do from a human perspective because they wholly missed out on a key period of human brain development.

What they have in its place appears to be... rules. Which is, I think, where I'll take this next.

[grizeldanyx]

What are your most favourite scenes from wkbz?

That's very difficult to choose of course, but if I had to my top three would probably be:

- The air guitar contest. Because everyone is so happy in this scene. (I generally love all the friendship scenes of the squad.)

- Michi meeting David Bowie. Because I really like David Bowie as well and Michi is just my fav.

- When Stella is being brought home from the concert and her mother finds out what happened to her. Because in this moment I’m always so happy for Stella who really didn't expect this reaction from her.

[queerbitchdiaz-archived]

OK so I've started watching 911 cus youre post have peeked my interest. I just wanna know beforehand is this Eddie and bucky thing actually possible or fans wanting it. How hurt am I gonna be that nothings happening 😂

Ah, that makes me so happy, it's such a fantastic show, I hope you're liking it! 💕

(I just did a really long post as a response to this and I accidentally deleted it, now I have to do it again. Dear god, please send soup. And strength.)

ANYWAY.

Regarding Buck and Eddie going canon, there are a lot of different ways to look at this and different ways to see it, but personally? Where I am at, at this point, I just do not see how the story could be heading in any other possible direction. Most days I am 100% sure it's happening, sometimes 99, but it never really goes below that.

(I do want to make sure that you and anyone else new in the fandom does understand, however, that this is not something to be expected soon. Dealing with their trauma as individuals is going to take a lot of time, and just because it's not happening within the next two episodes doesn't mean it's not happening. Give it time, my loves. These writers are absolutely fantastic.)

Now. I understand the need to be hesitant. I do, believe me. Especially as a part of the community, you know? We're used to being let down, disappointed and thrown the scraps (This post by @yramesoruniverse touches on why we feel this way despite having so many signs that point to this storyline and it is something I highly recommend reading, it's fantastic.) I also want to point out that the couples that people tend to compare Buck and Eddie to (aka couples that never went canon) are couples that I don't personally see the relevance in comparing them to. Comparing Buddie to other ships that never went canon just doesn't make sense, because none of those shows were shows like 9-1-1. 9-1-1 focuses on a lot difficult topics. Comparing 9-1-1 to Supernatural, or Suits just doesn't make sense to me. It's irrelevant.

Now. I could sit here for hours pointing out things that may be pointing to them going canon, but at the end of the day, there is way too much, and there are people who have done it already, and done it far better than I ever could (I will be tagging some of my favourite blogs at the end of this, if you want to go and ask them some things, I'm sure they would be more than happy to answer you! Speaking of, though, this post is also absolutely phenomenal, and very interesting to consider.)

There are two more things I'd mention though, the first one being this livestream with Ronen and Oliver around the time of the crossover, where Ronen refers to TK thinking Buck is hitting on him as 'opening a door'.

And the second thing is the fact that Eddie's actor, Ryan Guzman is someone who doesn't really know the art of um... keeping his mouth shut. And he doesn’t always have good opinions, so I also have a feeling that if there was no way that Buck and Eddie is happening, he would have told us to fuck off a long time ago, and he never really has. So there's also that.

In conclusion, before I point you to some other wonderful people, I also would like to say that - at the end of the way, this is fandom, it's supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be a distraction. So while I absolutely understand people being hesitant and not wanting to be disappointed - my main thing is also the fact that... I'm going to be a lot happier leaning into this, and expecting it, and following along, even if it doesn't happen (which I highly, highly doubt, but if the show does end without Buck and Eddie together, I'll just take the L and move on. But I'll still have the wonderful memories of freaking out with everyone else and anticipating this revolutionary story.) It's a lot more fun than just walking around with a big cloud over my head, being bitter, and rolling my eyes at everyone who dare have a glimmer of hope about it all, you know?

As promised - here are some other wonderful blogs I recommend you take a look at: @yramesoruniverse @himbodiaz @rarakiplin @wildflowerbuck @hattalove @diazchristopher @capseycartwright @roseapothecary @pearwson

There are so many wonderful people in this fandom who write fantastic posts about all of this, so that's absolutely not all of them, but it's a handful to get you started! 💕

[mycatismyeditor]

Zygoat, the E plot I wanted in Supergirl...

Small disclaimer before I go into this, I have not watched every episode of Supergirl. I’m still struggling to finish season two because of the writing and I’ve seen other episodes here and there. So grain of salt for all this in that regard.

That being said…

One of my favourite world building things in any kind of ongoing series is what I tend to think of as the E plot. You’ve got like the overall series mystery or villain plot which is like the A plot, then B plot is like the main character growth or romance, C plot is the secondary character growth thing, D plot is the inter relationship thing among side characters usually the other romance or friendship that’s growing, and then there’s the E plot…

That reoccurring bit of filler that mostly seems to be a dialogue link that has some kind of payoff later, like the swan in Hot Fuzz (or really anything in Edgar Wright movies). Those recurring characters like the cabbage man in Avatar the last Airbender. Or the mystery of how Gibbs gets the boat out of the basement in NCIS. They’re those little bits that make a world feel bigger and the characters lives more real.

Or you can just think of it as the extras or everyday or… entertaining? Look there’s a lot of E words that could apply here and I’m not a professional okay. Key is it’s stuff can be easily cut for time but is also usually really good for showing character interaction or personality and make great callback jokes in later seasons.

In Supergirl, speaking as a writer (debatable claim I know) but I felt like we were missing those E plots. We got a lot of filler but not much of it felt… like actual good E plot world building content type filler. Especially when it came to the DEO and Catco. I dare you to name three agents of the DEO (without looking them up or that aren’t in the main cast). I can name one, Vasquez. Wait two, there’s apparently a Pam in HR, and I know this because it’s the one bit of E plot level world building I remember on the show.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about there it’s from S02E14 the scene where Mon-el announces he and Kara are dating and Alex says they have to watch a video on harassment. I love that bit because that’s exactly the kind of thing you do have to fill out in a workplace even if it is a secret government organisation. It also showed character differences between four of our main cast, and because it immediately made me think of Archer.

Supergirl as a show just felt like a show that needed more E plot, fun callback or world building extras. That extra chaos that the characters could play against. There’s been a few bits here and there (mostly Supercorp scenes from what I've seen) but as a show it often felt like it was really missing… consideration with these things. We needed more time with the characters and seeing them interact instead of moving from plot point to plot point with no added anything. The episodes feel crowded with too much plot that never paid off and not enough… character room. We got plots with the characters shoved into it instead of the other way around a lot of the time. We needed game nights where they talked about the latest villains and references to other people who live and work with the team. That one agent whose desk that's always a mess, or that barista who never gets Nia's coffee order right but he’s cute so she never says anything, or even like the name of Lena’s head of security being mentioned after yet another attack on her life.

Personally I like when there’s lots of little things with connective payoff not just world building extras. Which is why I of course have one of my own because I am a self indulgent fanfic writer and what am I here for if not to find problems with canon and then share my solutions. So thank you if you read this far because it was mostly an introduction to…

Zygoat, the E plot I wanted in Supergirl

Kara arrived at the DEO and found Alex watching as several agents in full biohazard gear took stuff out of a fridge and dropped it into biohazard bags. Kara sniffed and immediately gagged.

“Oh God- what is that smell?” she asked covering her mouth.

Alex sighed.

“Whatever has been in the back of the fridge for ten years.”

Kara gave her a concerned look.

“Last month the biological research team didn’t fill out a request form for a replacement fridge in time. Then instead of coming and telling me when they ran out of space so I could put a rush on their request they decided to use the one in the staff cafeteria without telling anyone, and then they forgot to take it all out when they did get the replacement.”

Kara looked increasingly concerned.

“Today Agent Henderson knocked one of the containers over and an unidentifiable purple goo exploded out of it’s container covering the back of the fridge then started glowing. So of course now the entire fridge is considered contaminated, and we’re going to have to get it scrubbed for any kind of residue before it can be used for food again and apparently Dr Hawler is missing a goat embryo.”

“Why would she have a goat embryo in the lunch fridge?” Kara asked horrified.

“It’s in a little jar she puts it on top of her lunch so no one steals it.”

Kara gagged again.

“That’s disgusting.”

“Normally I would agree, but considering the things I’ve seen removed from this fridge in the last ten minutes, I’d prefer the embryo.”

Kara turned around to not be looking at the fridge.

“Okay so I just came about…”

- J’onn glared at the paperwork in front of him as Kara walked over to Alex.

“Why does J'onn look so… angry?” Kara asked.

“Do you remember that incident with the cafeteria fridge?”

“The purple goo explosion?”

“Yeah, so because we had to throw away everything we told everyone to just put in a reimbursement claim for the cost of their lunches and the DEO would just pay them all back. That turned out to be a mistake…”

Kara gave her sister a sympathetic look.

“Apparently Agent Newman had a quinoa salad and goat cheese gnocchi.”

“Newman?” Kara asked clearly disbelieving. “The guy who thinks lesbians are all vegans, women belong in the kitchen, and once ate a chicken leg out of the bin?”

Alex nodded.

“Yeah, he’s on his final warning by the way, so if you hear him say anything else like that please file a complaint so we can fire him. That’s paperwork I actually do want to fill out.”

Kara saluted to her sister.

“Anyway he’s claiming for forty eight dollars and seventy three cents because he supposedly got it from the vegan cafe on the corner that charges eight dollars for coffee.”

Kara whistled. Alex sifted through some papers.

“And Agent Drew reportedly had a steak for lunch. He wants fifty. I saw at least five ham and cheese sandwiches go into that bin and six tubs of yogurt but apparently only Ned from accounting is honest enough to admit it.”

Alex sighed and looked up.

“So, what did you…”

-

Mon-el moved quickly out of the way as an agent stormed past.

“What’s his-”

“Lunch thief,” Winn said. “Third time someone has apparently stolen his sandwich this week.”

Mon-el made a face and turned back to Winn.

-

J’onn stopped and looked down at something beside Winn’s desk.

“Agent Schott what is-”

“Lunch thief protection,” Winn said picking up what looked like a toolbox. “Turns out Agent Smith wasn’t lying. He apparently changed where he put his lunch and so mine got stolen instead. This is my protective measures. It requires a ten digit password and my fingerprint, ain’t nobody stealing my cake today.”

J’onn sighed.

“Well it’s also a trip hazard so put it in the staff room or your locker.”

Winn sighed and left with the box as J’onn turned to the others to continue the briefing.

-

Kara arrived in a rush and stopped seeing the serious look on Winn and Alex’s faces as they watched something on the screen.

“What are you two doing?” she asked.

“A matter of great importance,” Alex said her eyes still focused on the screen.

“Someone stole her lunch,” Winn said.

Alex punched him.

“Ow!” Winn yelled glaring at her.

“Seriously?” Kara asked laughing.

Alex glared at her.

“Maggie packed it for me. It was clearly labelled and I even put it right at the back so people wouldn’t be able to see it and now it’s missing. I want to know who was dumb enough to steal from me.”

“Okay,” Kara said slowly. “Well once you’re done with that very important mystery I have…”

-

Kara walked over to stand next to Winn and looking at Alex glaring at an agent.

“What’s happening?”

“Interrogations, the lunch thief is getting bolder. They took three lunches today.”

“Wow!”

“They also did it without getting caught on camera which is kinda impressive.”

Kara nodded as Alex walked over.

-

Kara approaching Winn as he’s talking with another agent.

“Sorry man. I’ve scanned it for a dozen possible ghost like things and it’s all clean.”

The agent sighed and looked at Kara.

“Has she looked?”

“Looked at what?” Kara asked.

Winn sighed.

“Agent Quinn thinks his locker is haunted.”

“Oh, by what?” Kara asked.

“Agent Newman’s anger poltergeist at being fired.”

Kara made a face.

“I swear there’s something in there. I can hear it but whenever I open it it’s gone,” Agent Quinn said sounding genuinely spooked.

“I’ll have her use her xray vision to check it for you before she leaves. Back to your post now agent,” Winn said getting up and gently pushing the agent away.

“Is he okay?” Kara asked looking after him.

Winn nodded.

“He’s new. I’ll just have him scheduled for a random psych eval. I think he might be struggling with all the alien stuff we handle.”

-

“Have you found the lunch thief yet?” Maggie asked holding out a pizza to Alex.

Alex made a frustrated noise.

“Whoever they are they’re somehow besting an entire intelligence agency. When we do find out who’s doing it I’m not sure if I should offer them a promotion or shoot them for causing so much trouble.”

Maggie laughed.

“I had a similar problem in a share house once. I laced cupcake frosting with laxatives and left them on the bench with a note saying do not eat.”

“Did it work?” Alex asked.

Maggie shrugged.

“Well I came home and all of my housemates were suffering the affects so I never found out the main culprit. But no one ever stole my food again.”

Alex smiled.

-

Kara stopped and lowered her glasses looking at the agents hosing out the fridge in the parking lot.

“What happened to the fridge?”

Alex sighed.

“I tried Maggie’s advice… It did not have the anticipated results. So now agents Adams and Brown are cleaning what seems to be very wet animal droppings out of the fridge. Dr Hawler wants to test it for evidence. I’m just starting to think that fridge is cursed. Maybe whatever it is spread to Agent Quinn’s locker.”

Kara gave her a concerned look.

“His shirt was destroyed from inside his locker. No evidence of anyone going near it.”

-

“What are you doing with… leaves?” Kara asked.

Winn looked at the small box stuffed with leaves.

“Oh we’re going to burn sage in the locker room to try and appease the ghost in Quinn’s locker. Wanna join?”

Kara shook her head.

“No thanks. As tempting as that sounds I’ve gotta finish an article for Snapper about…”

-

And then we get a mystery payoff filler episode!

..

Kara comes to the DEO to bring Alex dinner as she doesn’t trust the cursed fridge. Kara makes some comment about no job to big or too small for Supergirl then they hear a scream. They run towards it and see Agent Quinn on the floor of the cafeteria clutching his bloody face.

“Quinn what happened?” Kara asked rushing to the man’s side.

He starts babbling about a monster in the fridge. He just went to get out his salad and then it attacked him. A horrible vicious monster with fangs and flaming red eyes and evil horns. Alex gets out her gun as another two agents run in.

“An agent has been attacked. Lock the building down, no one in or out until we find whatever’s responsible.”

The agents run off. Kara and Lena look at each other and nod.

(Have some kind of main plot discussion as they search)

Then Kara says she can hear something around the corner. Alex nods and Kara flies around the corner diving on the ‘monster’. Alex comes around the corner gun raised and ready.

“Oh Alex, it’s awful,” Kara said turning around smiling and holding a baby goat.

“Goatzilla!” Kara said in mock horror.

Alex lowered her gun with a sigh.

“If that turns out to be Hawler’s missing goat embryo I’m going to have to start believing in the resurrection,” she said.

Kara smiled and hugged the goat.

“Poor baby. You’re not some evil monster are you. You’re just a scared little-”

There’s a loud noise and the goat vanishes in a rush of purple.

“Teleporting goat,” Kara finished.

Insert more Danvers sisters content or just have shenanigans of them trying to find where the goat vanishes to. Which turns out to be Agent Quinn’s locker.

Progress to them running tests on the fridge and locker with Winn. More inter character talk as they run tests on the fridge and Agent Quinn’s locker.

“I told you it was haunted!” Quinn said as another agent bandaged up his head.

Alex sighed.

“By a goat Agent Quinn, not a poltergeist,” she said exasperated.

Results come back and apparently there is some kind of pocket dimension between the locker and fridge that they can’t see or access, but the goat can teleport into at will.

“Is it possible there’s something else in that pocket dimension?” Alex asked.

Winn shrugged.

“No way to tell.”

“So something actually dangerous could just come crawling out of it at any time?” Alex asked.

Winn gave her a look.

“Like, potentially… But it’s unlikely.”

Alex does a long exasperated sigh.

Final scene of the episode has Kara carrying the goat into a containment cell now full of straw with the fridge and locker inside it. She carefully puts it down with a final pat and smile before leaving and closing the door. They all look at the baby goat happily exploring the new enclosure.

“So are we calling her Goatzilla?” Kara asked.

“No,” Alex said immediately.

“Zygoat?” Winn suggested.

Alex and Kara look at him surprised.

“What, you said she was probably Dr Hawler’s embryo. Zygoat totally works.”

Kara looked at Alex.

“Zygoat,” she said with a smile.

Alex sighed and looked back at the enclosure.

“Zygoat,” she agreed.

-

Later references:

S3:

Kara and Alex talking at the DEO but in the background there’s just two agents with a bale of hay. Then have Winn racing over and slip on the hay to be caught by Kara using superspeed. Then Alex is yelling at Agent Johnson to come sweep up the hay before someone gets injured. They have OHS procedures to follow.

-

“Supergirl!” Lena said in surprise. “Uh, why do you have pears?”

“Oh they’re for Zygoat. I like to bring her a treat sometimes.”

“Zygoat?”

“She’s a goat in the containment cells. There was a whole thing with a pocket dimension and- You know what nevermind. I was just coming to check about the…”

-

S4:

Colonel Haley looked at Alex.

“Could you explain to me why I have a prisoner care request for a goat from an Agent Quinn?”

Alex smiled.

“Zygoat,” she answered.

“Excuse me?”

“There was an issue with appropriate storage of alien objects that led to a goat that could teleport between what was at the time the staff fridge and one of the lockers via a pocket dimension. As we cannot determine how big the pocket dimension is, or what else might be in it, we have the goat, fridge, and locker in a containment cell. The goat was named Zygoat at the time and has become a bit of a mascot here. Some of the agents think she might be lonely so would like to adopt a second goat as her a friend.”

Colonel Haley was quiet for a long moment.

“That answers my second question,” she said looking back at her paperwork.

-

S5

Before Crisis:

“Where were you?” Alex hissed.

“I went to check on Zy and Scape,” Kara replied frowning. “What’s happened?”

(Yes the second goat is called Scapegoat, sue me)

After Crisis:

Kara stopped and looked at Alex.

“Did Zygoat make it?” she asked.

“What?” Alex asked confused. “Oh the immortal teleporting goat, yeah we celebrated her birthday last month with a special cake and everything.”

“Immortal?” Kara asked.

Alex looked at her then nodded.

“Yeah, Lex told us to shoot her when we found her to prevent her bringing anything else from the pocket dimension. The bullet went in, but did not come out, she didn’t even bleed. We think it went to the pocket dimension.”

Kara gave Alex a horrified look.

“I take we didn’t shoot Zygoat in the past.”

Kara quickly shook her head.

“No! We just made a containment cell into an enclosure and adopted a second goat as her friend. I used to bring them pears as a treat on Tuesdays!”

Alex nodded.

“We did all that too, just after the immortal thing was discovered and Lena stepped in to forbid anyone testing her immortality further on the grounds of animal cruelty.”

Kara kept walking.

“That man is…”

-

S06

“Hey William, have we shown you the goat yet?” Nia said carefully guiding William away.

“The goat?” he asked confused.

“Yeah, she can teleport. It’s really cool. We got her from a secret government facility. It's actually a really weird story.”

[neurodiversebones]

autistic brennan !!!

in my autistic opinion... here you go. a SLIGHTLY more organized version of what i have dropped in the DMs of anyone who is willing to listen, copy and pasted from a google doc i have so eloquently named "bones is fucking autistic" !!

this headcanon is like. 95% confirmed, which kind of makes my heart do a little "!!!" <3 idk brennan means a Lot to me and always did as a young autistic afab person :-) so here you go !! (under the cut)

okay SO here is my explanation for my headcanon, explained in bullet points- this took up multiple google docs pages so i hope you're ready

emotional display:

has absolutely zero poker face- we see this frequently. there are too many instances to count where she cannot hide her facial expressions !! it is also referenced by booth in late season 8, and i think a few other characters have mentioned it throughout the series?

this is especially in the earlier seasons, but her response to stress and trauma is Very Neurodivergent. she rarely has an outward response- it's so rare to see her cry before season 7/8 ?? this could also definitely be a trauma thing but like,,, trauma symptoms and autistic traits are unfortunately hard to differentiate between because autistic people tend to go through more traumatic situations

not exactly emotional display, but similar- she clearly has alexithymia, or something of the sort (basically, she struggles to recognize her own emotions). this is exhibited a few times- the one i can remember right now is "i don't understand what i'm feeling" "you understand happy, right?" (conversation with angela, season 9). this is actually something i have rarely seen in a character- at least not done well. it makes me very happy !!!

empathy:

she struggles to understand why others would think differently than her- her view of the world is Correct in her eyes, and she finds it difficult to look from someone else's point of view. this frequently ends in her criticizing those around her- her view of the world is incredibly black and white, so when others disagree with her, she believes they must be wrong.

extension of the black and white thinking- she doesn't understand concepts, no matter how hard she tries. she needs evidence and proof. examples of this would be her views on god/religion, love (pre-season 6), and marriage (pre-season 8)

despite her lack of empathy toward people, she exhibits a lot of empathy toward animals. this is actually a really common autistic trait?? examples of this would be her emotional attachment to the dogs in 4x04, or her explosive reaction to finding out the tiger was killed in 8x04

social/conversational skills:

this is probably her most obvious and easily recognizable autistic trait- it's what made me go "she's autistic" after watching a few episodes

she does not understand jokes or sarcasm very well- she frequently gets confused by jokes, explaining why they aren't funny or don't make sense, especially pop culture jokes. when she does understand jokes or pop culture references, she gets very excited and explains them out loud, even though everyone around her already understands (just adding- i love this so much ?? her explaining jokes is Very Cute. i'm sorry i'm a simple gay who can't go ten minutes without declaring my love for her)

struggles with small talk and social niceties- this is used as a joke in nearly every episode. she doesn't do small talk well- preferring to talk about topics that are actually important or interest her. she doesn't see the need for most social conventions either, which leads to her frequently being seen as rude.

she misses social cues in conversations- she frequently brings up topics that are probably not Appropriate for the setting (talking about dead bodies in a restaurant, talking about sex while standing over a dead body, etc.)

she is incredibly literal, and doesn't understand metaphorical speak. this goes hand in hand with the not understanding jokes- she takes many phrases at face value, sometimes confusing others

tone:

she frequently comes off as cold or blunt without meaning to be- many people read her as "heartless" or just uninterested because of the way she speaks, even when she is very invested.

i don't know how to explain this other than her speaking pattern is Very Autistic- the way she pauses mid sentence all the time, the facial expressions she makes while speaking, it's all autism babey !!!

intense focus on one topic:

okay it's very obvious that her special interests are forensics and anthropology

she gets hyperfocused, often losing herself in her work and putting herself through the ringer for it. she puts her work above (almost) everything, and has stated on multiple occasions that she would be nothing without her work.

she often explains the things around her with references to anthropology and ancient civilizations- she uses these references to explain her feelings, the situations she's in, and frequently, to solve crimes. things make sense to her when she thinks about them like this.

not engaging with peers in an "expected" way:

she is often showed to have difficulty getting close with people- she doesn't like showing emotion to others, and would rather just talk about the task at hand. this could very well be explained by her trauma background- but i believe it's probably a bit of both.

she finds it difficult to bond with her peers over common things, like pop culture, and rather talks about work or other things. she doesn't open up to a lot of people, even those who she is incredibly close with.

other/misc.:

stimming !! this doesn't have enough instances to get its own section, but i like to interpret that wonder woman scene as vestibular stimming, purely because i love to spin and jump !!!!

detail oriented, to the point of obsession. it's common for autistic people to get caught up in the details of things, which she definitely does.

views on sexuality differ from the "norm"- she is very critical of monogamy during the first half of the series, and does not see the point in marriage. also she's definitely arospec, just putting that out there <3

i am autistic and i love her therefore i'm right

final notes:

i think she's one of my favourite autistic characters to exist- i usually despise the socially awkward detective trope, but it's handled well here. the people around her don't expect her to change the innate aspects of who she is- rather, they love her unconditionally (even if they are exasperated at times- which is natural to feel with people that you love)

i very much like that they didn't go with the socially awkward + smart = unattractive trope either- she knows that she's hot, and so do the people around her. i'm so sick of nerdy girls not being allowed to be hot 😭 especially when it comes to autistic-coded characters- let autistic people have sex lives 2k21

she just,,, holds a very special place in my heart. as an undiagnosed autistic afab kid, she meant a lot to me. i saw a woman on screen who was smart like me and sometimes confused people because of her intelligence, who didn't really get social situations, who didn't know how to express how she felt. she was like me- and she loved herself, and people loved her. she's a very important character to me and has been since i was really young <3

thank you SO MUCH to anybody who read this- brennan is the loml and i will infodump about her until the end of time

[radiosandrecordings]

Something I really like in the interpersonal dynamics of TMA is the portrayal of ex’s. There are a few mentions scattered throughout the statements but I wanna talk specifically about Jon and Georgie, and Tim and Sasha.

Jon and Georgie. Oh boy, where do I even start here. I have so many feelings about their relationship in general so it’s kind of difficult to untangle how I feel about them as a whole and the role they serve within the whole show’s examination of dynamics from their actual former romantic relationship. But, along with TimSasha, I think the thing I like about it is how little it’s brought up? I think it’s possibly only mentioned once, in 106, with Melanie telling Basira about it. At that stage we’d known Georgie for 26 episodes, and had Jon living with her, and they never mention it. I mean, we only get glimpses of their conversation on tape, maybe they did, but we don’t know for certain. The important thing is our experience as an audience and how they’re portrayed to us. 

They have this extremely fraught and complicated dynamic and it’s my favourite in the whole show, because each believes themselves to be right in the actions they’re taking, because they each are very stubborn and have these deep-seated mindsets, plus Georgie is working with imperfect information about what exactly is happening in Jon’s life. And it would be so easy, expected even for a lesser show, to have this culminate in a conflict where one of them yells “This is exactly why we broke up!” or “This is just like you, you’ve always been like this” or “This is just like (x y z time)!”. 

But that never happens! I don’t think we ever get any references to what they were like as a couple. We just have to take their dynamic as it is, because whatever they were like in the past is something they’ve put behind them. It ended on bad terms, but for regular Young Adult Break-Up reasons. They’re adults now, they have new problems like Being Framed For Murder, and The Apocalypse. And it’s just really refreshing to see them deal with new problems and not stale ones from the past that they’ve buried. 

This extends to how Martin interacts with Georgie as well. When they first meet, Georgie is aware that Jon is in love with him, and Martin clearly knows they were staying together, if not that they used to be together from him calling her “Jon’s Georgie”. And yet they conflict for how the other treats Jon, not because of any dating based tension, especially surprising considering Martin has a whole list of people he’s been jealous of in regards to Jon. Which means it’s allowed to become a trait which, while not good, never leads to any actual conflict. I really like that because that would just feel out of place in the narrative, to have all this massive complicated web of dynamics and grievances going on and then have “You dated the guy I like 10ish years ago, and that’s why I hate you” as one of them. It would feel a little immature in a story about people closing in on 30 if it was allowed to grow beyond something brought up in minor scenes as flavour text and become a  whole dynamic definer, especially in a show where each dynamic is supposed to be a specific type of exploration of relationships.  

The same could be said of Jon and Melanie. The two famously don’t get on, finding any reason really to go for each other’s throats a lot of the time, even when it can be taken more literally as ‘scalpel to the shoulder’. I’ve made jokes about this scenario’s hilarity before, but in actual fact I’m glad that there’s never anything made of “The girl who hates me stole my girlfriend”. Because Georgie doesn’t belong to either of them, she’s not a pawn in any of their fights. She’s a woman who can make her own decisions and form opinions independent from who she’s dating. 

And then there’s Tim and Sasha. Something they were so chill about, we, the audience, didn’t know about it for 162 episodes. It’s a lovely little scene really, it tells us so little but also so much. They have an “Ill-advised hook-up” and Tim is convinced something more will come of it. Sasha laughs and tells him that she doesn’t agree. And then the conversation continues on. He doesn’t push her on it, doesn’t even ask her why, just lets it go. From Sasha referencing that she’s “pretty sure we already established it’s a ‘wont they” it might hint that this is a conversation they’d had before, but honestly from the light tone I want to give Tim the benefit of the doubt and say Sasha is just referencing the general fallout of their fling that made it, to Tim’s own description, ‘ill-advised’. And unlike Jongeorgie, after this breakup, Tim and Sasha remain close friends and co-workers. Tim continues to care about Sasha even when it’s clear she doesn’t have any romantic interest in him and no longer any sexual interest, because he genuinely cares about her as his friend. He jokes around with her and curses out both Jon and Elias and they’re just good to each other. They platonically care so much that Sasha is literally willing to risk her life to save Tim when he doesn’t notice Prentiss in episode 39. 

And again, jealousy never comes into play. When the Not!Sasha starts going out with ‘Tom’ - Literally one letter away from his own name! - It would be so easy to have some of Tim’s anger in season two manifest in jealousy about that. About wondering what this guy has that he clearly doesn’t when Sasha has moved on to someone else. But that never happens, at least as it’s presented to the audience, because Tim is genuinely a nice guy and respects her decisions (Aside from the fact that isn’t Sasha but y’know. He thinks it is). 

Overall it’s just very, very good to see a show where characters are allowed to have (had) romantic/sexual relationships but these not define their dynamics or for this to extend to how other character’s perceive them. A lot of media will often introduce the ‘evil ex’ because for some reason I feel like people tend to forget sometimes that whatever happens later, we date people because in the first place there was something there that we liked? And not every breakup has to ruin our ability to see that. It’s also maybe a little reflective of the fact that every relationship I analysed there involved at least one queer person? (Well, every person I mentioned is queer except canon Sasha. Sorry love) Because just from my experience and my friend groups that’s how it can often be. It’s just another way in which TMA has my favourite character dynamic writing and really knows how to give it’s characters complex connections without letting them fall into stereotypes. 

[bourbon-ontherocks]

Heyyyy, it’s been fucking ages! I just realised I totally forgot to check in and see what you thought about the ending of izombie! 

Oh hiiiiiiiii Jade!!! It has been ages, thank you for checking in, how are you, love?

So, fun fact, while I watched 95% of iZombie about a year ago, I only watched the final ~3 episodes or so fairly recently, I think partly because I wasn't ready to say goodbye to the show and characters, but also because by the end of season 5 I found that the plotlines tended to be a bit repetitive and everyone had been turned back and into a zombie so many times it was getting tiresome.

Anyway, the short answer is that I kinda hated the ending. Details under the cut for spoilers and also because it got a bit long lol.

So the thing is, I didn't expect the show to go for anything else than a happy ending, obviously. It has always been a fun, quirky show, and even though it got a bit plagued with heavier, heartwrenching drama in later seasons (Isobel... 💔), it was still greatly balanced with comedy. But my problem with the ending is that I found it overly simplistic, to the point of dumbness and naivety to be honest, and way too cheesy. This whole "everything and everyone is fine, the good ones were rewarded and the bad ones died" felt artificial, especially given the moral complexity that the show had managed to explore over the seasons.

Like, this is a show that started as a weird crime show, developed a whole universe of its own based on extremely believable premises (people starting a business by scratching people and them brain-food blackmailing them, etc), and switched its genre mid-show to explore a socio-political dystopia that while not necessarily avoiding all the clichés of the genre managed to be brilliant and disturbingly accurate in the way it portrayed the variety of human (and zombie lol) reactions to the publicity of the zombie outbreak.

Obviously, the parallels and metaphors with past and present real events were sometimes a bit too on-the-nose, with references to nazism, civil war(s), military dictatorships, predicators, racism (the parodic bit about the whiteface and zombies’ cultural appropriation was perfect in its delightful absurdity) etc, but for the most part it was handled pretty cleverly and entertainingly in my opinion.

All this long introduction to say that the show explored a certain kind of complexity that forced it to introduce some nuances. While the goods and the bads were clearly identified in early seasons, the characters started becoming more morally grey as the story progressed, the most spectacular example being the evolution of Major through the show. Not to mention the bigger picture of a humans vs. zombies society with extremists and idealists on both sides.

So for me, the simplistic conclusion of the ending felt like an insult to the show’s brilliance at delving into more nuanced statements. Some stuff also didn’t really add up (like, I read the interview of Rose McIver where she explains that zombi-ism had become a metaphor for minorities which is the reason why Liv decided to remain that way even in a post-cure world, but this feels like a character alteration mid-show since early Liv was begging for a cure and frankly eating brains didn’t sound so fun), and oh boy, must they be bored to hell on their island!

I also felt deeply betrayed by the fate of Blaine and Don E. Obviously, they were the villains of the story, but they were also audience-favourites, especially Blaine (just look at the fanfic section lol), and they both had quite interesting redemption/humanity arcs. So to just have them ending up in that well for eternity, after we’ve been extensively shown what happens to unfed zombies after a while, this was just a tragedy to me. Especially when Blaine’s last action was showing a bit of redemption by saving Peyton’s life, you know? I would have enjoyed SO MUCH to learn in the finale scene that Blaine was Liv and Major’s neighbour on zombies island and that they all spent their eternity time pranking against each other for instance.

Speaking of, the whole Zombie Island was so DUMB! Who would want to spend eternity isolated from all humanity with kindred brain-eaters? And to think that this would magically solve the problem of humans vs. zombies is borderline stupid. I expected a smarter statement from a show that indeed built this world where there is so much anger, resentment, disgust, predation, and fascination between both factions.

And pardon me but if zombi-ism was some kind of metaphor for minorities struggles, as the show claimed, then the segregation as ultimate solution is ironically the saddest ending that anyone could have come up with. I would have preferred a more realistic conclusion where both populations try to coexist more or less pacifically and a little teasing on the tensions/challenges/difficulties still at play. The ending as it is felt rushed and definitive, and wildly unrealistic.

tl;dr. There was absolutely no surprise to this ending, but I would have liked something more open and bittersweet and in one word, complex than this.

[softinkshadows]

Shingeki no Kyojin Astrology: sun-moon-rising combinations

I was looking around tumblr for detailed astrology speculations of my fave anime characters, but there aren't that many! Being q well-versed in astro myself, i thought why not do my own version (very spoiler-free, don’t worry)! I followed the birth dates given by isayama:

Eren Jaeger - Aries sun, Scorpio moon, Cancer rising Aside from the fact that he can be hotheaded and impulsive, Eren's feelings of vengeance run deep and explosive. Remember that time he was chained to the bed after the attack on trost, and his eyes were wild with the need to violently eradicate all titans? He's so tenacious and emotionally stubborn too (a Scorp moon trait) to the point of being closed off from everyone else, especially towards the end where he seems to take the weight of the world's burden on his own shoulders. And all for the sake of protecting his community and ensuring the safety of his friends for the rest of their lives. His comrades and family are his motivation. This is his Cancer rising steering his life.

Mikasa Ackerman - Aries sun, Aquarius moon, Aries rising "Look that moody brat is running off on her own again." Mikasa is similar to Eren in her impulsiveness and determination, but different in two ways- what they aim to protect and their extent of fearlessness. Eren is aware of his own weaknesses and helplessness, but Mikasa's amazing physical prowess makes her act without any hesitation at all. She's hella fierce and driven to keep herself in shape too, doing all those sit-ups and chopping firewood post-injury. I think she deserves a double Aries! An Aries rising means a Libra descendant too, which is reflected her whole-hearted devotion in her close partnerships (Eren and Armin). Her aquarius moon really shines thru with her stoic independence, focus and perseverance.

Armin Arlet - Scorpio sun, Virgo moon, Pisces rising He's the brain of the 104th cadet corps, and is second to Erwin in terms of strategy! An intelligent planner with low self-esteem often found second guessing his own analytical abilities, Armin is a true blue Virgo moon. His emotional self stands out the most from the main three protagonists - Eren & Mikasa mostly express anger and desperation, whereas Armin is usually shrouded in fear and worry. He's a very soft bb, hence the Pisces rising, not to mention he gets so dreamy imagining the sea, the vast plains, and the magical world beyond the walled universe he knows. A spiritually-attuned and curious explorer :")

Levi Ackerman - Capricorn sun, Scorpio moon, Virgo rising Levi is such a complex person, thanks to Isayama's brilliance. Like many Cap suns, Levi is authoritative, cold and incredibly savage. That's not to say he doesn't feel anything either. Levi is an evolved Scorp moon (maybe even moon in 11th house) because his feelings are never for himself, but he hurts so much for others - you can tell every death hits him so hard, but he doesn't show this to anyone else. He also exudes this quietly intimidating aura of natural competence, a common characteristic of this sun-moon combo. He can take things personally as well (re: height issues) but it never snowballs into more than passing irritation. The turbulence of his emotions and habit for violence is balanced out by his earthy Virgo rising, which is emotionally subdued, quite thin and delicate in physique, and super neurotic and nitpicky when it comes to cleanliness and health. Cap, Virgo and Scorp are some of the most guarded signs, and a combi of all 3 are hellish. You can tell this poor beautiful man is always caught between feeling and thinking, between maintaining his humanity and forsaking it.

Erwin Smith - Libra sun, Capricorn moon, Leo rising In another life, Erwin Smith would be the damn CEO of a global conglomerate because he oozes so much charisma. Hell if charisma were energy Erwin Smith would be its prime, eternally renewable source. His stature alone is so commanding, and I find some strong Leonine traits in his thickset physique, strong eyebrows, beautiful hair, and that way he shouted in full glory atop wall Rose in that one episode to the cheering masses below. He might be a Libra sun, diplomatic in political affairs, but his Capricorn moon is what drives his decisions. Cap moon has a rep for being cold and unemotional, but i believe they are way more than that! Cap moons rarely boast about their long list of achievements, instead looking forward to the next goal. They struggle with emotional expression, and are super driven and disciplined. Erwin is capable of making the hardest decisions, putting aside emotions to strive for an abstract ideal, and this is to be expected of the commander who takes on the role of the devil.

Hange Zoe - Virgo sun, Sagittarius moon, Gemini rising All hail our favourite mad scientist!! Hange is such a breath of fresh air in the Survey Corps, balancing out the heaviness of missions with their wacky tales of titan research and experimentation. Their penchant for study and higher knowledge is typical of a Sagittarius moon, who is drawn to advanced academic study and spiritual truths. It's also a lighthearted and optimistic sign, true to Hange's upbeat personality. The Virgo in them contributes to their sheer intelligence and obsessiveness with research subjects. We also know they LOVE to talk, and once Eren asks Hange about experiments, they cannot stop (Gemini governs communication). Virgo, Sag and Gemini are the most intellectual signs, and because they are mutuable Hange tends to follow orders rather than give them, making it difficult to adapt to their new role towards the end of the series. Mutable signs also means rapidly-changing emotional states, and a whole lot of chaos, which suits our beloved squad leader.

Jean Kirstein - Aries sun, Virgo moon, Taurus rising Our third Aries on the list ohmygod. The snk universe is full of feisty hotheads. Jean is always seen clashing with Eren, fuelled by Eren's closeness with Mikasa and his own adorable jealousy. I mean, they had a full on fist fight right after dinner in the mess hall, although everything went downhill after the first few punches. Our first impression of Jean during his cadet days is coloured by his desire to work in the interior, and this favour for material safety and wealth is perhaps common to a Taurus rising. Also, Taurus is ruled by Venus, planet of beauty and harmony, and thus often figures in the charts of artists. If you've seen Jean's drawing skills in that special episode, you'll know that his artistic abilities are the finest we have seen, exceeding even that of isayama himself. Jean's strong principles such as being averse to killing people and oftentimes cynical nature, is also characteristic of the moral and cautious Virgo moon.

Sasha Braus - Leo sun, Gemini moon, Taurus rising Not all Leos are showmans. Sasha is the type of Leo who displays more of the quirky, unabrashed personality suited to her opposite sister sign Aquarius. Authority doesn't exist when food comes into play, as we see when she breaks potato with Shadis and later steals a slab of meat from the officer's warehouse. Unlike the visual artistry that Jean possesses with his Taurus rising, Sasha's Taurus centers around her love for food, and hell she can have fiery determination for it (rmb the wild night she mistook Jean's hand for meat?). I love that both of them were pitted with each other in that cooking special episode. I considered placing her as a Taurus moon, but Taurus moons are usually steadier and classier in emotion, whereas Sasha is often breezy, gets nervous and chaotic, with stellar intuition, making her likely a Gemini moon.

Connie Springer - Taurus sun, Cancer moon, Gemini rising Although not much attention is paid to Connie's growth, his character development reminds me a lot of Aang from ATLA. Cheery and happy-go-lucky at first, before the incident with his mother made him more prone to feelings of anger and vengeance, especially near the later chapters. His strong protective bond with his mother is what compels me to say he is a Cancer moon, which is a moon sign that is very homebody and drawn to family and traditions. His goofy self and him referring to Sasha as "his twin" puts him as the spunky Gemini rising, another sign he shares with her.

Reiner Braun - Leo sun, Pisces moon, Capricorn rising Aside from his natural leader personality (Leonine), Reiner likes to take on the persona of the big brother of the group. His outward stoicism, decisiveness and task-oriented nature is typical of a Cap rising, who is often serious and solemn in appearance. He reminds me of that Cap rising workaholic who does his best in a corporate organization, working 9 to 5 plus overtime as it fulfills his sense of purpose. Beyond his stoic facade reveals a more troubled personality. Like a Pisces moon, Reiner is impressionable, and it's difficult to tell if his emotions and personalities are his own, wavering and absorbing traits from those around him. His internal war with his identity and the ensuing fatigue characterises him during the second half of the series.

Annie Leonhart - Aries sun, Aquarius moon, Virgo rising Annie is the kind of Aries that is so motivated to achieve her goals that everything else is sidelined, including her own emotions. She's quite ruthless in chasing her objectives, and her composure, focus and endurance is highlighted with an Aquarius moon. I'm guessing she has a 4th house influence somewhere because of her motivations to go home to her father and lead a normal life. I find the daintiness and delicateness of her features similar to Levi, who is also a Virgo rising. The Virgo effect also registers as a brutal, unfiltered honesty (also seen in Levi), and Annie doesn't hesitate to speak the truth about her own or her opponent's capabilities.

Other characters which I won't go into much detail about:

Bertholdt Hoover - Capricorn sun, Virgo moon, Pisces rising Bertholdt is quiet with an unobtrusive personality. His lack of supposed iniative and aggression can perhaps be attributed to the mutuability of Virgo and Pisces, which goes with the flow instead of charging forward. He keeps his feelings to himself, but reacts when the people he wants to protect are threatened.

Historia Reiss - Capricorn sun, Libra moon, Cancer rising Historia initially lives for the sake of others (esp Ymir), and is more co-dependent than many of her other squadmates. She also tends to put up a front of pleasantness, afraid of disappointing or offending people. She has a strong tie to family, and a profound sense of duty.

Ymir - Aquarius sun, Pisces moon, Aries rising Ymir is extremely astute when it comes to evaluating human behaviour. The religiosity of her background is also usually found in this sun-moon combination, which tends to attract paths of strong spirituality. She also has a bold and noble sacrificial streak for the sake of her companions.

Zeke Jaeger - Leo sun, Capricorn moon, Scorpio rising A headstrong, intelligent and radical character. In a way similar to Erwin in his ruthlessness, but emotionally darker and much more sinisterly private.

Kenny Ackerman - Aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon

Rod Reiss - Virgo sun, Libra moon

Dot Pixis - Virgo sun, Sagittarius moon

Hannes - Capricorn sun, Taurus moon