#which is weird for me because i know... one singular guy that could ask me out without me freaking out about it and i've known him for...

[drdemonprince]

I keep seeing the posts about male socialization and idk it makes me feel weird because I identify as transfem and I *do* believe I had male socialization. I find it easier to identify with and understand male groups and to feel involved in the while I feel less at ease understanding how women feel and think even though my personal view of myself leans more towards a feminine identity. All these posts make me doubt that I am truly "transfem" and that even if I am, that I am fundamentally transfem in a different way than most other transfems I run into. Is there any sources or writing out there that either provides a counter-perspective or at the very least points to nuance on this subject from a transfem lens? I wish I didn't feel so alone with these feelings.

Your feelings and experience do not make you any less legitimate as a transfeminine person. A lot of trans women rightfully and understandably need to counteract the notion that they're oppressive privileged males or whatever by asserting, as clearly as they can, the many ways in which their socialization was a female socialization, with all the double-standards, demanded emotional labor, sexual predation, etc that entails -- but the very need to assert these things is due to the culture's twisted misconceptions about what gender even is and how it operates.

It's not as though a young person only gets the socialization of the binary gender to which they were assigned -- they get mandatory cishet socialization, and they see what is expected of the "other" gender, and that impacts them, and the standards for that other gender also influence how they are interpreted and seen.

And so I do think, to a certain extent, that when trans people assert that we actually didn't get socialized as our assigned gender at birth, we got socialized as the correct gender, actually, we are unfortunately ceding ground to the transphobes on a couple of key points. One, we're conceeding that there is a singular binary socialization that the two genders each get, which are separate from one another and always exhibit specific features, and two, that a person's socialization as a young person is a key determinant of their gendered experience, privilege, and identity forever, no matter what happens after they are young.

And you know, both those things are totally wrong. There is no one female socialization. I've written about this before, but I wasn't raised to be feminine. I was raised the way working-class girls are raised, which is to be no-nonsense, unfrivolous, serious, sporty, and capable -- a wife and mother, but the kind that never wears a skirt or cries in front of people. And there is no singular "male" socialization either -- I cite a few trans femme people in this piece who experienced themselves as having some male privilege before they transitioned, and some more typically "male" experiences, while also quoting a number of trans women whose lives went the exact opposite way. I assert in the piece that their experiences are theirs to name, and that there's a number of different ways we might each understand and categorize them personally -- especially when we take into account how much gendered socialization is dependent upon class, race, immigration status, diasporic status, and much more.

My view is that however you think your live played out, and whoever you find community alongside, you're right. I'm about to answer a similar ask about this from a trans masc perspective, but I'm a guy who has a ton of women friends and always have. I grew up mostly with girls as my closest buddies and we did things like playing pretend and having slumber parties and doing makeovers. I could chalk this up as a "female socialization" experience I guess if I wanted to. But I also grew up with a lot of gay boys, and I am a gay man, and guess what -- a lot of us grow up with predominately female friends. I don't think I have some essential feminine quality because my friends kept insisting on putting eyeshadow on me when I was ten. The fact I was bad at sports and couldn't be the tough, no-nonsense person that my culture expected me to be was gonna affect me whether I was a boy or a girl. And my upbringing was significantly different from that of one of my very best, oldest friends, whose family owned a successful business and were able to buy her a car and a horse and shit.

You're not betraying anything or lessening your own transfemininity by resonating with some typically "male" experiences or for having close male connections. Lots of queer women do! Just like I have plenty in common with lots of women! We don't say that cis women aren't women because they grew up tomboys, or had a ton of brothers, and the same is true of you. Even if you don't think of your younger self as "a tomboy" or even as a girl. You don't have to ascribe to the narrative that you were always one gender and always moved through the world with that identity. To demand that all trans people do so is respectability politics -- we cannot and should not require that all people be trans in the same ways. I have written before that transition to me feels at once both pre-ordained AND a choice that I made. You can say that you lived as a boy for some years or were a boy if that feels right to you, or that you had certain privileges while also suffering from dysphoria and disconnection; it's your life and you know it best and what serves you.

I wish I had narratives from trans women writers to direct you to, but for the most part the trans women who I've heard express feelings like yours have been in the support and discussion groups I've been in, and in private conversation -- I think because the socialization experiences of trans femmes are so unfairly politicized. I hope if any trans femme people see this have anything to share or any words to say that they will!

[ghiblinsm]

Objective 1: Make Anya's lock

Mouthwashing x Jimmy's Daughter! Reader

part 1-ish?

word count: 2,526 words and 13,690 characters

"Reality, such a strange thing to me,"

warning: jingle bob, reader is morally grey but not in a pussy curly way, you may end up hating her depending who your favorite character is.

You jerk awake look over to see Curly heaving and groaning in agony, thrashing as much as he can with...well with his situation. His pained sounds are like nails on chalkboard as you walk over to the small pile of pain killers on the table grabbing one and stepping towards Curly.

"Ok Grant, open wide..." The grossest part is having to touch his nasty jaw to open it wide enough for him to take the pills. Popping one in and closing it back up as shiver crawl up your spine from the sound of his swallowing. "eugh.."

You sit down on a spinning chair near Curly and rest your head on your hand, needing to wait for him to stop heaving and thrashing to know if the pain killer worked, again. God... He smells like shit, guess that's what would happen though if one were practically skinned and lost four limbs and couldn't shower.

He finally stops thrashing and his heart rate returns to normal, his staring problem hasn't been fixed though, his singular eye staring intensely at you and your permanent scowl which deepens as he continues to stare. You stand up and kick the chair away while maintaining eye contact with Curly's eye.

"...What? What'd you want?" His staring continues as his mouth breathing seems to be getting louder and more unbearable. "well?! Speak up!"

"The voices in my head,"

You look at him then to the table and back at him, sighing in frustration as your fist clench. It would be dumb to get mad at him for doing the only thing he can do, stare.

"Whatever," you finally turn to leave as his eye follows your movement, "Anya will come by later, have fun till then I guess."

The door closes behind your retreating figure with Curly still looking in your direction.

You walk past Anya and Swansea talking about Curly and Repairs or something, and head to the main area, where Daisuke is sitting down by the big screen that's displaying a sunset into water and playing on the small console you made a while back with only a singular pixelated game that crashes if the smallest thing goes wrong.

You could care less where he is so that doesn't matter right now.

Despite clearly seeing what Daisuke is doing you still ask, "Hey, Daisuke. What-um whatchu up to?.."

"My friends from my dreams,"

"Hey! Yeah, I'm just trying to get passed this level but it keeps crashing..." He looks a bit slump but hopeful as the game crashes again from one of his choices. "But I swear I'm gonna get it this time!-"

"uhuh, thats nice. Hey, when you were with Swansea earlier, did you guys find any extra parts that weren't needed for the ship to function?..." you lean against the wall to try and seem as if you don't care what the answer is but truthfully...you really need a few parts, to create at least one lock.

Daisuke looks at you for a moment, as if contemplating whether to tell you or not. On one hand, Swansea had told him not to give you any extra parts anymore because quote, 'who knows what she's doing with those parts', but on the other hand you haven't done anything weird with scraps yet...

"Nah, we didn't find anything, are you trying to make something?" Maybe if he knows what you're trying to make, then Swansea will let him give stuff to you!

"Nothing, nothing...was just wondering, don't worry about it i'll- i'll figure something out," you head to the door to leave the main area barely muttering a goodbye.

"Bye?..huh" Daisuke watches as you leave then focuses back on the botched console.

"They whisper to me,"

You mindlessly roam through the empty halls, deep in thought but not thinking of anything in particular. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, you hear this agitating, grating voice from this greasy haired, internalized homo bitch.

"And what are you doing?" you sigh out in annoyance at the slight accusatory tone in his voice.

"The devil's on my shoulder.."

You look up at his face, his brows furrowed but his eye's show irritation. "Nothing, Captain." you learned pretty quickly, after he appointed himself Captain, that for him to leave you alone most of the time, just fuel his ego to be better than Grant.

"Have you made what I asked for yet?" Right...his 'need' for a master key to the rooms that can lock.

"No, I haven't gotten to it." And even if you had the materials, his key wouldn't exactly be a priority.

"And why haven't you gotten to it?" Ugh, the piss baby's getting upset.

"I haven't gotten to it because there hasn't been as many free materials for me to use." Before he speaks you continue, "And even if I had the materials, Anya was the first to start bitching to me about something she needs."

That grabs his attention, what would Anya need? Before you can leave, he grabs your shoulder and turns you back around to face him. "What exactly did Anya say she needed?" his eyes with a sort of craze look.

"How the hell should I know? I told her not to bother me until i've got materials, which seem to be nonexistent anymore on this barren ship." Thats a lie, you know exactly what she wants and why, but you hate Jimmy more then you dislike Anya so why would you tell him?

He stares intently into your eyes, like he's trying to detect if you're lying or not. "You better not be lying."

"I'm not, she's only priority because I had her save her spot by trading me a few pills..." God, when is he going to leave you alone.

He finally backs up and walks away, purposefully knocking into your shoulder to make you stumble.

"But I like the way he sings,"

With a small, irritated smirk, you try to find Swansea. Considering the state of the ship, it's hard to believe that they truly haven't found any scraps you can use.

You find Daisuke and Swansea in a storage room, Daisuke halfway inside a vent and Swansea watching from below, holding the ladder and instructing Daisuke on what to do.

"Hey, Swansea?" He barely jerks in surprise but turns his head to look in your direction, still keeping a grip on the ladder Daisuke's on.

"What do you need?" His gruff, slight accented voice sounds tired...whatever anyway.

"Have y'all found any scraps? Anya has a request for me and I don't have any materials." You know Swansea knows that something happened to Anya, just not exactly what happened, so hopefully he'll give you something.

He contemplates for a bit, likely debating the pros and cons if you're lying. There's silence apart from Daisuke yelping from almost shocking himself which snaps Swansea back.

He's sighs and nods to his left, a pile of scraps that they did indeed find. "it's over there."

"Great, thanks.." Daisuke almost slips off the ladder from the tone of your voice, knowing his lost aura points with you and most definitely fumbled from lying earlier.

"Love me endlessly,"

You grab all the scraps, using your uniform jacket as a bag of sorts to carry the metal and frayed wires.

Once you leave the room Daisuke peek down the vent to look down at Swansea and whines. "You made me fumble the huzzzz."

Swansea looks at him with a confused look, "I made you fumbled the, what the fuck?"

Anya was in the medical room watching over Curly when you come walking in with the scrap, a few tools, and the pills she traded you for the lock.

Anya looks up at you from beside Curly with her half lidded, very much tired, eyes. They widen with some kind of hope at the sight of your splayed-out scrap and tools on the only table in the room.

"What kind of lock do you want?" You get some water from the sink to take one of the pills which will hopefully kick in before you start working so you focus better.

"Um, I guess any that can lock from inside the room." Anya's obviously apprehensive, not to blame her, it's not exactly reassuring to have someone on drugs, making a safety lock that supposed to be a secret from the captain whom she is also related to.

She receives a hum from you then turns back to Curly, surprised at the slight rise in his heart beats per minutes. She stands and walks over to the pile of pain killers. "How long has it been since you gave him his medicine?"

You look up from your botched looking layout to Anya, "what time is it now?"

"And when I wake, have my soul to keep,"

She groans and grabs about 2-3 pills and walks back to Curly but hesitates to touch his jaw, quietly gagging. Annoyed at her for taking so long and acting like a baby you get up from where you were sitting and walk over, "I got it, just don't throw up in here."

She rushes out the room with a trashcan, leaving you to once again touch Curly's buck nasty bloody, burnt, bandaged jaw.

After giving him his medicine, and Anya has yet to return, probably yakking her guts out. The drugs start kicking in and well, the thin filter you had sorta slips as you get to making Anya's lock.

"This was your fault, know," Curly's one eye looks over at you as you talk to him, "you were the one to enable him," you turn in the spinning chair to face his direction but not looking up from a stubborn sheet of metal that won't bend correctly.

"I may have known what he did, but Anya didn't tell me, she told you, and you barely believed her until you saw him having a pussy breakdown in the halls." You look up from finally getting the metal into the right shape and see Curly staring at you with a shaky chest.

"You're worse than me." He sees your dilated pupils before you turn your back to him again as Anya enters.

"Desperately, they beg me not to leave,"

"Hey, Anya?" She turns to see you holding a few weird mashed pieces.

"Hm?"

"Where do you this to be placed?" Oh! oh... that- that does not look like it'll keep her sleeping quarters locked...

"Uh, yeah, just over here." She walks you over to her sleeping quarters and opens the door. Turning once you got inside and points to a spot on the door frame. "Can it be placed here?"

"Yeah, I guess," you grab a soldering gun to attach it to the frame, "here's the key," your hand pulls out a small key from your pocket with your other holding the soldering gun. "DON'T LOSE IT, I don't have enough materials to create another one."

"Okay, thank you." There's a hint of gratitude in her tone as she grabs the key and leaves her sleeping quarters.

"The fire in my eyes,"

You easily attach the new lock onto the door and frame and make sure it's not loose or anything, otherwise some people may be able to break in. It's still weird that the sleeping quarters don't have locks but at least you can actually add them now without getting credits docked, considering pony express, dumb name btw, went bankrupt.

You leave her room and see Daisuke trying to act nonchalant and leaning on a wall nearby...he's not subtle in his motives with the way his eyes rapidly glance at you to see if you're looking. looking at the look then back at him you get an idea.

"Hey, Daisuke?" you're surprised at how fast his head turns to you with the most...irritating small smile rather than his usual, goofy, big one. "Can you help me test out this lock?"

He tries to cooly stride over but stumbles over a few dead wires and then just walks over. "Yeah! totally, what do I need to do?"

"Go into Anya's room, lock the new lock on her door, there should be a latch option.., and tell me when so I'll try to barge in. Tell me if the lock loosens or twitches or something." you make sure to explain in the simplest way possible, so Daisuke understands.

"Got it!" He enters the Anya's room and you hear a fumble of a switch, another sound of a switch, the jingle of the lock, and then the latch.

"is burning at my feet,"

A heavy sigh leaves from you as he probably thought something else was the lock, something turned on, so he turned it off, looked at the keyhole of the lock then finally saw the latch. "Ready!"

You back up a bit then throw yourself into the door, repeating a few times till getting an answer from Daisuke, a very scared Daisuke who genuinely felt a tad afraid from the aggressiveness of the shoves into the door, like you actually were trying to break it down instead of checking the lock.

He comes out a bit shaken but acts really tough, "Didn't even move an inch," he seems a bit proud until...

"You or the lock?" you snicker at his faux offended look on his face.

"For your information, the lock did infact stay put and so did I." He crosses his arms proudly but melts when he hears your words.

"Mhm, you were a very brave baby." you said it jokingly, obviously, so he quickly regains his composure once he realized.

"miles away from his life,"

You bend down to grab your tools as Daisuke seems to want to ask you something but is hesitant to. "He-Hey? do you want to come to my-"

Here comes the father-in-law, the fun crusher, the erratic homo, Jimmy. "What's going on here?"

Daisuke stifles a snicker at the sight of you rolling your eyes as you turn towards Jimmy's direction. "Nothing, I was talking with Daisuke about dumb stuff."

Seems like he grew something down there since he starts demanding shit you definitely ain't gonna follow. "Listen, I am the captain now and my key should be made first, it should be top priority!-"

Shaking your head you cut him off, "Yeah, yeah, you're right, once I get the materials, I'll get started on your key right away." a big fat lie since you definitely won't be working on it anytime soon, it'd be a waste of time and a waste of material. It's better to just put it off and say stuff to make him happy.

"without his love i'm not alright,"

"You better.." wow. . . so ominous and scary better get to work on that key card right away!

"Don't worry your pretty lil head, okay Jimmy? I've got it, you just go do your important little captain things, okay?" you gently start pushing him back towards the cockpit till he eventually grumbles and walks away.

You turn towards Daisuke, "Get a load of this guy." pointing your thumb back at Jimmy's retreating figure. Daisuke bursts into laughter(calm down it ain't that funny) and you two head to the main area.

Objective completed:

Anya will remember your generosity.

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Curly's relationship with you:❤️❤️

Becoming strained as your rambles become more personal and targeted.

Anya's relationship with you:💜💜💜

She trusts you enough and doesnt hate you but can't help but feel uneasy around because of yimpy.

Swansea's relationship with you:🧡🧡🧡

Doesn't hate you but because of your relationship to Jimmy he doesn't always trust you to give you scraps.

Daisukes relationship with you:💛💛💛💛

He's glad to have someone near his age to talk to and hang with that knows what references he makes, his heart beat raises when you two talk.

Jimmy's relationship with you:💙

Very strained from y'all's relationship, he didn't exactly raise you, was only obligated to give you shelter when your mom died, but when you were 18 you moved away and y'all only met again 2 years ago when his was 'introduced' to you from Curly before a shipment trip.

A/N: i feel like daisuke is the most out of character, oof.. but yay! first mouthwashing fic!

[chaotic-ravenclaw]

UNPOPULAR (?) OPINION

(pls don't attack me for this 😭😭)

THE PERCY JACKSON SERIES WAS A PISS POOR ADAPTATION!!!

I would like to start by saying absolutely no hate on the actors!! They were perfect for their roles <3

I'm not just gonna be complaining the whole time, there were some things I did like and I do mention them as well.

1) the pacing was all off. I get that they only had 8 episodes to cram all that info and action into, but it really was WAYY too fast paced. The fight scenes didn't feel like fight scenes coz they were over in seconds, and just a lot of the info you're supposed to find out gradually or just know from context clues is outright said instead of shown and spaced out.

Also, just some of the dialogue was really cluncky and weird/unnecessary and made it very awkward to watch at times.

And then the only two long fight scenes dragged on and ended in ways that just completely disregarded a major character moment. Which leads me to no. 2

2) The arch scene. I actually really liked how they changed it to a shrine of Athena's in the show, it really showed how much Annabeth trusted her mother, and when Echidna was able to pass through anyway, the betrayal was a nice touch which really showed how much trouble they were really in.

HOWEVER!!! What I DIDN'T like, was that last fight scene with Echidna and the Chimera, which actually really upsets me coz it was our first decently lengthed fight scene. I didn't mind the fight overall, but the ending was a cop-out.

The scene in the book where he jumps out of the arch is supposed to show how much trust/faith he has in the gods and his father. He trusts that Poseidon will catch him. And yes, ik, Uncle Rick "thought it was closer" and didn't realise the river didn't go directly under the arch, but surely the fact that it wasn't closer holds that much more weight if he had jumped?

3) They completely butchered Grover, Annabeth, Sally and Gabe's characters.

Grover is supposed to be this scared but BRAVE and LOYAL satyr who loves nature and whose entire purpose is to PROTECT young demigods and find Pan (the god of the wild).

Instead, we get this guy who rats out his friend for doing something he didn't even do, AGREES WITH ARES about fucking WAR of all things (I get it was a ploy to get information but I'm still not really vibing coz it was just so out of character), and WAITS OUTSIDE till the fight is finished before running in and asking if it was over yet. And if all that wasn't bad enough, they've turned him into the exposition guy. Uncle Rick, does show don't tell mean nothing to you?? He deserved a lot better than what he got.

Annabeth in the books had so much depth and character dimension; she wanted to break free from her stereotypes (dumb blonde, girls can't fight/are weak etc); she had a lot of faith in the gods (especially her mother - I'm really glad this was shown in the show); she wanted a way to prove herself to the gods.

Instead her character is moulded down into a singular trait. 'Mean'. I personally think it's a step up from her movie counterpart's singular trait of 'girl', but they could also just do her one better and give her an actually fully fleshed out personality.

I understand that, due to her appearance, they obviously can't do the whole dumb blonde thing (which I really don't mind), but they could throw in some struggles about her race and the 'girls are weak' thing too. Obviously they'd have to be careful to handle it respectfully but it's definitely doable. Like, there are so many thing they can do with her character and all they did was make her mean.

I would have liked it to have been more obvious that she wanted to prove herself to the gods, because it's such a big reason why she chose to be part of the quest. Like, the bathroom scene should've made it more obvious that she was scoping him out to see if he was the leader of the quest she was prophesied to be in, instead of that stupid janky line about capture the flag.

I did, however, like that they got rid of her little crush on Luke, because the fandom ruined their sibling relationship because of that. (I can already see the arguments THATS gonna bring up lol). I interpreted her little crush on Luke as something similar to like when you'd have a teacher crush on primary school. A silly little crush because "they're pretty and were nice to me" kinda vibes. A platonic crush if you will ?

ANYWAYS, I'm glad they fixed that up, but I really would've liked to see her and Luke act more like siblings before he left. Like, half the confusion the first time round was coz we didn't get any proper sibling moments before (or after really) Percy came to the conclusion that Annabeth liked Luke. It just would've been a nice touch.

I also really didn't like the fight with Luke at the end (they changed WAYYYY too much) but the thing I dislike the most was that Annabeth was there. She wasn't supposed to be there. Half her struggle through the rest of the books was that she couldn't come to terms with the fact that Luke was on the Titan's side, and tried to hurt/kill them multiple times when they got in his way. It's supposed to be a slow process for her, but having her there would (realistically) speed up that process, and undermine her feelings and struggles from the books.

On another note, I didn't like how they dealt with Cerberus. It felt so unfeeling, when it was supposed to be a more emotional interaction. Annabeth loves dogs, and that was supposed to be one of the moments you learn more about her. It was supposed to be sad when they parted, but instead it was more of a "that thing is going to kill us, we need to get the fuck outta here" kind of situation.

One last thing for Annabeth coz this is getting long. The Fields of Asphodel scene was rubbish. If there had to be one of them stuck there, it should've been Grover. I truly believe he'd have the most regrets out of the three (eg. Thalia dying under his care, losing the teleportation pearl, trusting Luke, regret for ratting Percy out perhaps? Etc). But realistically they all would've planned roots. They each have regrets weighing them down. Anyways, I just thought it was stupid

Gabe is meant to be the absolute worst. He's meant to be an abusive asshole who couldn't give two shits about Sally and Percy. He's meant to be demanding and messy.

Instead we get this somewhat likeable guy whose worst crime is sitting in his chair for hours at a time. We're supposed to hate this guy, so why am I finding him kinda funny? Like yes, he's still kind of a dick, but he's not so irredeemable as he once was, and this version of him DEFINITELY doesn't deserve to be turned into a statue 😭😭

Like, miss ma'am, just divorce him, move out, turning him into a statue was so unnecessary in the show 😭😭

And I hate to say it, but the movies actually got him right.

And that leads me into Sally's character. In the books she's this brilliant woman with a heart of gold who loves her son more than anything. She married an abuser to protect her son from worse things, so he could grow up with a relatively normal childhood without fear of being hunted by monsters 24/7.

She's supposed to be a bit timid, a bit scared of Gabe because HES AN ABUSER. Sally isn't supposed to have her girlbossness yet! She hasn't gotten to the point where she can leave him (both because she's staying to protect Percy, and also because after being with someone like that for a prolonged period of time, it starts to get to you)

Side note - she's also not supposed to keep contact with Poseidon?? It kinda defeats the purpose of keeping Percy underwraps?? (I'm talking about that one flashback in the diner, it doesn't really make sense)

ANYWAYS!! Instead of some quality character development/growth, we get a character who unrealistically doesn't need it coz she isn't really a victim in the first place. They took away part of her character by taking away her trauma. The way that Sally and Gabe are portrayed really takes away from Sally, and the point that her character is at in the show doesn't make sense to her situation in the show's current timeline.

Also, the way Sally treats Percy in some of the flashbacks is fucking disgusting. THAT is NOT my Sally Jackson. My mother is emotionally/vocally abusive and neglectful, and that is exactly how she treats my neurodivergent younger brother. Maybe I'm projecting or looking into it too much, but seeing that in the show from one of my favourite characters in the books was so jarring, I almost started crying.

Because Sally is supposed to be the best mum, everyone loves her coz she's such a wonderful human being, and that's how she's been treating her son. It just makes me second guess how bad my own mum really is. Obviously everyone has their flaws, but getting angry and yelling at a child because he's scared/upset/doesn't want to do something has never been one of hers.

Alrighty, I'm gonna stop yabbering on coz I feel like this is WAYY too long, but I have a lotta thoughts and feelings about this coz PJO is my comfort fandom lol.

Please gimme any thoughts/opinions you like to share <33

[kaq3yma]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑 ft yamato endo

syn: could he a be a good judge of character after all?

⸻ contains: slight yandere tendencies, reader is mentioned to be a cashier, and languages.

qeena's brief note: yippieeeee finally wrapped up my endo fic AND slightly yandere endo (๑-﹏-๑) wowzwowzzz but honestly idk how i feel about this um whether i like it or not BUT i dont hate it rofl anyway no long note this time, im keeping it "brief" (๑>؂•̀๑) so lemme know what you guys think of this, thank you, i love you, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated and happy reading xoxo 🩷💚

It's that one time, that one time he walk around amidst of the night trying to find an open store to buy fireworks for Takiishi. He stop in his trance, gaze swept away by a solitary store stood out among the dimly light streets. His feet brought him almost leisurely to the front door and that's when he saw you, working through the racks to fill up stocks.

When he pushes the door open, the automatic bell chime and you turn around "Welcome..." The corner of his eyes crease as he smile at you "Hey, do you guys have any fireworks in 'ere?" Yeah, it's not everyday a weird looking guy with weird tattoos litter across his body come in the middle of the night asking for fireworks "Yeah, sure..." He follows you to the farthest corner of the store where you kept them "Is there anything else?" The man turn to you, shaking his head "That'll be all,"

You rushes back to the counter, patiently waiting for him to come back and pay "Y/n..." Your eyes widen, and as you look up, you're surprised to see him leaning down to your face very closely. His eyes concentrated on your tag. You ring every bit of his items as quickly as you could "That'll be 507¥." He huff, taking the bag from you and leave.

You really thought it'll be the last time you see him...

But no, the weird man keep coming back, not to buy fireworks or anything, just to loiter around and pester you with your works and because it's in the middle of the night, there's barely any customers in the store which leave you not to only listen to his constant yapping but to reluctantly accompany him as well "Don't you have anything else to do?" He point at the cup of noodle he site on the table "Besides eating?" You groaned, shaking your head "No. Besides bothering me." He snickers, taking a noisy slurp of his noodle "I do. Following Takiishi around."

You look at him, confused but you dismissed the thought straight away "Whatever, I'm going back to work, if you're finish eating, leave." He pout, putting down the utensils he's using "You're mean. I'm a customer, y'know?" You sway your head at him "You make me pay for you everytime, you fool." He breaks into a fit of laughter, watching you mad is so hilarious.

The next night, he strides to the familiar route of your shop, face bruised and nose trickled with stained blood. The prior incident flashes in his mind once again.

He was with Takiishi like usual, tailing behind the poker-faced male wherever he go without question. The duo browse a town with its street swarming with delinquents and thugs. Endo didn't mind and he's sure as hell Takiishi didn't mind it either but when one of the men purposefully pick a fight with Takiishi, Endo decided to step up for him instead and he got a harsh blow from Takiishi "Don't intervene." Another blow, his face spotted with sheepish smile and blood smearing out every cuts as Takiishi continue to beat the tattooed male.

"Why am I going to her, anyway?" He didn't understand why his feet brought him to you. He knew what you're like, indiffirent and without a doubt, he can guarantee you couldn't care less about the bruises on his face, so why is he here? In front of your work place, damaged face grinning without a thought. He opens the door, greeting you with that same crazed smile.

"Welcome...!" Your eyes widen upon seeing the state he's in "What the fuck happened to you?" He chortle, bringing one hand to touch a singular cut on his face which causes him to wince terribly "... That hurts." He couldn't properly registered what was happening until you pull him to a nearby table and sat him down "Of course, it hurts, you prick. You leave the wounds untended!" He watch you move around the store, going to the back room and came back with a first aid kit "You're so careless..." You sighed, lift the lid of the box and start tending him.

A deep gash across his cheek, several cuts and scratches covering his forehead and temple, nose trickled in crimson and eyes almost swollen "Just what the hell did you get yourself into..." You graze alcoholic pad across the wound to clean it, damping ointment gently over the cuts and scratches and finally, you put one last bandaid below his eye, on the apple of his cheek "All done."

Your eyes flutter forward to him, only then did you realized just how close you both are. Your eyes expanded and you almost fall back in shock but he caught you, rolling into laughter "Why are you red?" There's that, that hint of mockery lacing in his undertone "Shut up, asshole. You didn't even thank me for stitching you up." You look away from him, well, he wanted to tease you some more by how red and incredibly cute you look at this moment but uncharacteristically, he stayed quiet.

"Thanks," You look up, awkwardly coughed out fake coughs "D-Don't mention it, just buy me something next time." You pick up the first aid kit and leave back to the cashier.

He leave the store, heart pounding within its cage, he can feel himself shuddering to the bone at the slightest remembrance of you. Yes, he likes you, he think he wants to make you his, he think you are so perfect... Don't tell Takiishi but, now, you're his number one.

And yes, he indeed still is a bad judge of character.

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 is open. all rights reserved goes to @kaq3yma on tumblr.

[amalthea-13]

What Made Me Defend Stolas so Staunchly?

Introduction

After several days discussing Octavia and Stella, I am beyond happy to be back to my job on Stolas Defense!

Hello all, it is I, Amalthea, The Ultimate Stolas Kinnie and Stan! Today I thought it'd be interesting to talk about why I defend Stolas so staunchly.

For many who may not know me, I used to actually be in the middle when it came to the issues within Stolitz. I used to defend both Stolas and Blitz because in my head they were both at fault for a lot (I still believe this partly).

I never really doubted any of this purely because it made sense. I mean they're both in the relationship and therefore they both are bound to make mistakes.

However, the fundamental moment that changed my mind was Mastermind.

To many this may be weird bc 99.9% of the fandom has a neutral take on this. Everyone else is usually defensive of Blitz due to his position in society and usually we all agree to somewhat be fair to Stolas purely by giving him only partial blame.

I tried so hard to not get frustrated with Blitz. I really do try to give him so much empathy and love because I love that lil guy. That's my boy right there. . . however my boy was PISSING ME OFF.

Let's get into reasoning because despite The Blitz Post , he is still my third favorite in the entire series. (Sorry Blitz, Vassago ties with Stolas for number 1 and I think Yogirt took second place.) The Timeline

Recently, I rewatched the videos I made in response to Mastermind on my Tiktok. The very first initial reaction I had was a video I released November 29th, the day which Mastermind released and its a singular image of Stolas with the text:

"The fact Blitz cannot humanize Stolas ever until he has lost absolutely everything pisses me off. Stolas isn't perfect but the one time he does treat him well and like a person is when he's at his lowest just like Blitz."

A very . . . emotionally charged response to a character I also kin and was a staunch defender of before this point. I mean I loved Blitz, but what happened in Mastermind, that sudden tonal shift in their relationship sent me over the edge.

The next slide goes into further detail of my grievances;

"Stolas gave up everything and only NOW he is being treated with some semblance of kindness. It took him giving up his actual life for Blitz to actually see him as a person and not some "ditzy blueblood" he made up in his head".

These sentiments are echoed in The Blitz Post when it was made in February and I still stand by the context of the Blitz post to this day. November 30th I worked on an edit of Stolas to a Last Unicorn audio due to him being stripped of his magic, this was an emotional thing I couldn't get over, also echoed in my Stolas Headcanons post where someone asked me about his magic.

The same day I made a speedpaint redrawing Stolas and started just going off about my frustrations that I don't want to believe Blitz is a bad person or a semblance of a "bad guy", but the fact he could only humanize Stolas in that moment had "sickened me". I also mentioned my concerns for Octavia due to the fact I had been that "scared little girl" at some point in my life. I also note that;

"Truly, it hurt to watch Stolas throw himself in harms way, knowing Blitz would never give half of that to Stolas. He'd never sacrifice for Stolas like that."

All very... emotional responses and I can say this was the moment I fundamentally latched onto Stolas much tighter than I did previously. December 1st and 12th I made videos or slideshows defending Stolas regarding the punishment he got and that baby talking at Blitz or calling him "impish little plaything" isn't crime enough to justify what happened to him.

The 19th making another post defending Stolas due to his words being miscontextualized which inspired the Stolas, Miscontextualing his Words, and Boundaries post. The 22nd I documented my feelings about Via rejecting Stolas and that I couldn't agree with her at all and that echoed its way into The Octavia Dilemma. Christmas day at like 3am I made a post defending Stolas against people accusing him of being "fake" for using medication to handle his depression. Then January 1st was when I voiced I believed Blitz was the most at fault during the Full Moon argument.

Then January 30th I make a video detailing why I believe Blitz was at fault. I go into explicit detail outlining why Blitz was wrong, how he was wrong, and this was when I came up with the concept for the projection argument (Seen in First Ask: Has Stolas Truly Grown? Section 2) I utilize when talking about the Full Moon argument. I go to the point of saying Blitz isn't emotionally mature enough to be with Stolas. (Daaammnnnn past me, let the guy stand back up!!!)

How is it from November 29th-January30th my view changed so much? As I said I used to be the type of person that blamed both sides. What happened?

The Fundamental Moment My View Changed

Tonal Shift

Usually when I believe in something I don't let it go. If I believe in something with my entire heart it will take something huge happening to change my perspective.

However, during Mastermind it felt almost... gross and sickening to watch Blitz fawn over and help Stolas while simultaneously enjoying the tender moments we had waited so long for.

I felt so- guilty. Like I was watching my best friend get back with a man I knew was bad for them.

It felt hard to enjoy the positivity as I knew what impending doom was coming. I mean I felt awful for enjoying my comfort ship while Stolas lost everything.

The tonal shift in Mastermind changed a lot and reframed so many episodes as you see such a radical shift in the span of a month or two. As much as I appreciated Blitz's efforts, in my mind it was all "too little, too late". It was everything I wanted from the series but too late.

So that guilt and anger manifested into a several month long rant and frustration of me bordering on turning into a Blitz Anti. Hell, I designed an OC just to spite Blitz and ship Stolas with my OC. (Theyre the best couple btw I love them sm their ship name is Hot Messes.) However, what made me fall right back in love with Blitz was that damn kind heart and the fact he can make Stolas laugh. As angry as I remain to be and as staunchly I stay defending Stolas, I still love Blitz, but again Mastermind provided a lot of reframing of past episodes I could not get over. It was like the floodgates opened and I couldn't close them.

Stolas Antis and Blitz Dickriders

I also want to acknowledge that it was Stolas Antis specifically that made me start despising Blitz as a character.

While I no longer feel this way and have separated the Antis from our sweet Lizard King. At the time I was angry that people were coming down hard as hell on Stolas for things they gave passes to Blitz for.

I've noted this in many posts, but I call it the "trauma pass" and for some reason Blitz is the ONLY character in all of Helluva Boss who has this card. My anger brewed from there, watching Stolas be beat down for minor offenses and Blitz getting the trauma pass purely because people like him, but if Stolas did the same thing he'd be burnt at the stake.

Now besides the fact I am an October Libra with a strong sense of justice, I'm also an ADHD bitch who can argue for 5 days on end over the same thing and not stop defending my argument. I can get physically ill or tired but I am as stubborn as a damn mule.

Therefore further interactions with Blitz antis and defenders sent me into what I now call the "Stolas Defense". Pretty much a litany of arguments, pieces of evidence, and information that I utilize to make a strong barrier that no Blitz Defender can get past.

While I didn't get much interaction on my Tiktok account, those videos are what built this lovely blog and is the reason my defense remains so strong. Purely based on memory recall those videos fundamentally shifted how I see Blitz.

They also are why my defense remains the way it is. Sure, I repeat the same points over and over, but there is a purpose and reasoning to how the Stolas Defense functions. It's about appealing to every area of argument along with substantiative evidence to make a strong ass defense.

Despite Blitz Antis leaving me alone and now finding solace in my Stolas Kinnie Family. I still think about how it took one episode for me to change my entire perspective on ONE character.

Mastermind As an Episode

Everything in Mastermind was done so well. it was meant to make you question and think. A complex narrative that truly left the fandom in shambles after it's release.

However, why was it this narrative that changed my mind? As an audience, many people believed this episode was necessary for Stolitz to thrive as a couple.

At that time I actually told someone I felt it was "unnecessary" for Stolas to give up everything for Blitz. (I was reaaalllyyyyy angry ya'll. Blitz hun I am soooooo sorry)

Mastermind as an episode had the fandom splitting off into sides and caused very real division which from a writer standpoint is beyond impressive.

The episode took me, a neutral viewer, and turned me into a staunch Stolas Defender. Talk about phenomenal writing.

Conclusion

Despite this episode rehashing many of my older points, I hope you all get a better view from this post as to why I am the way I am. I ain't saying it'll make you all agree with me or anything, but this is the direct timeline of all my thoughts and how it all went down since November 30th.

Toodles! Amalthea Out!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hey, what are your thoughts on the Naruto hidden village systems?

The Disclaimer

As a reminder, my knowledge of Naruto is hilariously bad. Despite writing a giant fic, I got everything I know from fics, vibes, and shit I made up that is probably WRONG.

I made it to the chunin arc in the anime and just past the bridge in the manga. I got to see Orochimaru once, but he wasn't introduced as Orochimaru yet, just that weird dude in the woods.

That is how much of the source material I actually have familiarity with.

So, with these sorts of questions, I readily admit that there's A LOT I don't know and that asking anyone would probably be better.

But Thoughts Anyway/It Kind of Doesn't Make Any Sense, Does It?

This is a very common criticism, definitely not something I ever came up with, but one thing I've seen a lot of is noting that... it doesn't really make sense.

Where the fuck does the money come from?

We see a few jobs for civilians, many within the village, as well as some higher-ranking jobs for more important clients in the Land of Fire... but many of the jobs, and many of those high-ranking jobs, seem to be internal to the village.

Not to mention that we have the wars between the villages... that seem to have been instigated by the villages competing for resources, and not the nations they're housed in which use them as a mercenary force.

And the thing is... how the fuck are they supporting themselves?

If the primary income of hidden villages is shinobi activity, but those services are paid for by shinobi activity, then money has to be coming primarily from outside the village--but it isn't.

A Hidden Village is not a perpetual motion machine, the civilian population is way too small/doesn't have any major industry other than shinobi that could be used to support the village and make it more self-sufficient.

And villages fighting the way they do in the series is very odd as they're dispersed by land, their primary clients are those local to their own country, and sure they're fighting over bijuu... but the conflicts just sort of fall apart if you look at them too closely. Even after all these wars, it's very rare that territory for villages has changed, and definitely not to villages that aren't already very close.

Also, the countries themselves are left helpless to shinobi destroying landscape, villages, etc. when they gain next to nothing from this conflict happening.

(Disclaimer could be I'm totally mistaken about this, and have no idea what I'm talking about, in which case feel free to tell me because I cannot overemphasize I got pretty much everything from other people talking except the very very first bit of the series, entirely possible I'm misunderstanding shit.)

The argument I've seen made, which feels very reasonable, is that it'd make a lot more sense if it was closer to the samurai system that did exist in Japan for an incredibly long time. The Hidden Village would be on retainer for the provincial lords, warring on their behalf, and whatever internal conflicts occurred would be primarily over jockeying for that position where the money is coming from.

This seems to be closer to what was going on in the Warring Clans Era.

But then we get the Villages and... well... I'm sure the provincial lords were appalled and terrified when suddenly the shinobi aren't having their local skirmishes but burning down entire countrysides witht he shinobi from that desert way over there.

What the fuck, guys?

The only way it sort of fits together, if you squint, is that because all the shinobi banded into these singular vilalges, and what remained are essentially ronin--there's nothing the provincial lords can do to reign these guys in and, well, at least they're sort of still on retainer?

But Back to the Villages

Ignoring all of the above, the militant nature/aggressive recruitment and training does make sense as all the villages have been in an arms race since their creation. They push as hard as they do because they have to outgun one another and the next war is just around the corner, as soon as the losers are done licking their wounds and have enough population to give them a fighting chance.

And since the loser is always shafted at the end of each war, to pay for the losses incurred by the victors, we get this cycle where there it becomes an existential threat to ever consider "maybe we shouldn't start a next war", and of course piling on generations of resentment and hatred.

So, we see every village putting their all into training the next generation, albeit focusing on different strategies. Konoha is just as cold-hearted as the others, the difference is that they don't focus on cannon fodder, but instead on individual shinobi who will last longer and keep themselves and teammates (and thus village resources) alive for the next fight. Other villages focus more on a select few and churn out those with lesser talent as quickly as possible (many of these using this strategy in order to recover from heavy losses in previous conflicts).

(And of course there's the villages that implode after conflicts/heavy losses as well as outside factors like "Obito deciding to make the worst king possible because he can")

And that most of them have bijuu has done absolutely nothing to slow down the arms race or prevent conflict, instead promotes a "how much can I get away with before the bijuu come into play" attitude, and even when the bijuu come into play, well, they're in play now.

It's very easy to see how the village got to where it did by the time we meet Naruto, along with why it's so difficult to break the cycle of violence and just how ingrained it all is in the culture itself at this point.

[asgwendollie]

ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.

treasure.

Simon Riley + preteen!daughter

tw: none(?)

a/n: im basically writing what i wanna read. honorary mention to @chaosandmarigolds for giving a bit o' help:) pretty long, don't know how many words but probably around 1k?

this idea has been in my head for AGES now, so glad i finally wrote it💗

Simon's girlfriend died. the 141 knew that. his girlfriend died that night along with the rest of his family. except for his one singular gem that he treasures the most. you, his daughter that the killers that night did not see nor hear because you were at the neighbor's house. that was when you were 5 years old, since then, Simon has done everything in his power to protect you. even as far as not telling anyone but Laswell about you.

you're now 12 years old. having gone through alot already, you're more mature and sassy than most of your peers. which leads you to this situation...

you were on the couch with your laptop open when you hear a knock. you walk to the door and open it to be greeted with three bulky men, one looking seemingly older than the other two.

the one on the middle has a...Fishers hat? he also has a beard, which is, what you assume, makes him appear older. "this dude could be a grandpa..." you thought.

the one to your left has a weird mohawk. yeah, thats all you can say about him. the one on the other side looks more tolerable, but his cap does wanna make you laugh your ass in front of him for it.

"Hi, who are you?" the grandp— the one in the middle asks. "I'm sorry, shouldn't i be asking you that? there are three, large, bulky men on my doorstep. none of which who are familiar to me." you replied, in your sassy voice, ofcourse.

your dad told you not to talk to strangers, they're strangers, aren't they?

"sorry—I'm Johnny, but i prefer to be called soap. this is John and Kyle. now can we know what yer name is, bonnie?" Johnny speaks up. you scoff. "fine. its y/n. y/n riley. that's all I'm telling you. and what the hell kinda name is soap?"

at that, the three of them glance at eachother in both shock and confusion. "what?" you ask. "your last name's Riley?" Gaz asks. "yeah, what about it?" you cross your arms, getting slightly defensive.

behind their back, you see your dad's truck pull up the driveway, the three men in front of you also noticing. you speed-walk to your dad and point to the three men. "Dad, these guys are tryin' to kidnap me." you say nonchalantly. he looks behind you and sees his captain and his two sergeants. "honey, they weren't tryna kidnap you. those guys are my teammates." he says as he walks to the trunk of the car and hands you two grocery bags. "now, bring these inside and I'll talk to 'em. 'kay?" he pats you head as you nod, walking back to the house.

"so, simon. when were ya gon' tell us ye got a daughter?" soap's scottish accent rings out. they glance at simon's balaclava-less face, because they don't usually see him without that damn balaclava, but also because they await a response from him. "to keep her safe...only Laswell knows abou' her. she's the only thing i have left. my treasure." simon clears his throat to ease the silence. "so, why are you guys 'ere anyway?" simon asks.

"i actually came here to ask for advice, and then i saw soap already standing at your door, saying something about a teatime catch-up? but anyway, he called price over, faking that your pipe was broken. and when he came up, we knocked on your door and y/n answered it." as gaz finishes his explanation, you walk back out the door. "so...are you all gonna come in or not? because i didn't stop binge watching heartstopper on netflix for nothing." you say as you chew on a french fry Simon had got for you, per your request.

they all walk in, and take a seat on the couch, Simon quickly preparing drinks for them. as Simon takes a seat next to you, Price speaks up. "so y/n, how old are you?"

"I'm 12." you answer blatantly. "y/n, be nice." your dad whispers to you. "you got any hobbies?" Soap tries to make conversation.

you playfully glare at your dad before answering soap. "i like to play the guitar, i like to paint, and crochet sometimes." you answer again, trying to put a less boring tone to your voice.

it goes like this for a few minutes, everyone just exchanging laughs and conversation. maybe they're not so bad after all...

[gorogues]

I’m getting bored of saying hi and hello so salutations my fellow Tumblr user!

Now you know how I keep writing ‘The Rogues’ with a capital ‘T’ right? I’ve since then been getting more and more confused about if the title should have it or not, since I’ve seen a bunch of people, including you, not include the capital at all. But like, to me it would make more sense for the ‘t’ to be a capital, because when you talk or think about the group as a whole, it’s THE Rogues and not just ‘Rogues’ like how you would probably refer to one individual from the group. (Would calling any of the guys a ‘Rogue’ makes sense? Like for example: “Hey, there’s a Rogue over there!” Have any characters actually referred to any of them like that? Because I haven’t read any comics that include a sentence like that. Unless I’m remembering wrong that is, or it feels weird to me because I know of a Marvel character that’s costume name is Rogue)

Maybe I’m just thinking too hard about this, but to me, it really does feel like when someone is referring to one member it’s ‘a Rogue’, but when someone is referring to few of the members or the whole group it should be ‘The Rogues’.

And there’s also this whole thing I’ve seen where people tag the guys with or without the word ‘the’ at the beginning. Like I’ve seen people tag James and Axel with either ‘Trickster’ or ‘The Trickster’ (and in my opinion, I’m more inclined to agree to tag both of them as the latter instead of the former). I’ve seen once or a few times where Hartley was tagged as ‘The Pied Piper’, and I’ve even seen Mark and Sam (or it could be Evan, I’m not entirely sure) tagged with a ‘the’ in the front as well. Of course Roscoe is tagged like that, but with nearly everyone else it’s either with or without the extra word.

I’m sorry for sending you paragraphs nearly every time I ask you something, and I can’t promise at all that I’ll stop 😅

Hello!

I think it's a judgment call to capitalize or use lower case for 'the Rogues', though I'm no English major and don't know how grammatically sound one option is over another. Comics often aren't much help, because the lettering is often in all caps..!

I've just now looked at my collection of Flash volume 2 solicits, and they're erratic about when 'the' is capitalized; sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. But more often than not, it isn't capitalized.

There are indeed multiple instances in which 'Rogue' is used in a singular form, and I've included a few below, all from different writers. The story which introduced Replicant is even titled "Twenty-First Century Rogue", so there's a lot of precedent to use it in the singular.

I tag James and Axel with 'the Trickster' (there's that lower case 'the' again :> ), and I don't for Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, etc, even though you'll sometimes see them referred to as "the Mirror Master", "the Weather Wizard", "the Golden Glider", and "the Pied Piper" as you mentioned. It was a judgment call, mostly because "the Trickster" and "the Top" are used a lot more frequently than "the Rainbow Raider" et al. Occasionally Tumblr changes my tags and capitalizes 'the' when I know I left it in lower case, so maybe the site agrees with you :> (and sometimes it changes all capitals to lower case, especially in older posts)

(Another factor is that I created these tags nearly 15 years ago 😩 when I was pretty much just shitposting on this site, so I probably would have done things differently had I planned to keep a semi-serious long-term blog)

I write somewhat more formally when creating posts for Speed Force, and there I'm in the habit of writing "the Flash" when I'm talking about Wally or Barry and "The Flash" when talking about the title of the book. I don't know if that's grammatically correct, but it's what feels right to me to distinguish between the character(s) and the book itself.

[covesdadappreciation]

Howdy! Just started following your blog and I really like what you've got! If you're taking requests, could we get one of Tamarack being taken to prom by MC? Bonus points for jealous Qiu because I'ma slut for angst. I just wanna see Tam-Tam being treated like a queen.

Prom Night!

Tamarack x Male Reader (FTM Safe!) Author's note: This is literally just fluff, Barely angst (if you squint), just a reference to Qiu holding back <3 1518 words

Tamarack had opened the door after hearing a quick singular doorbell ring,

“That’s weird” she muttered, opening the door to find nobody. She looks down and finds a paper airplane, picking it up and reading whatever’s in it. It read: ”Meet me at the bridge - your favorite person in the world (PS, you might wanna get a little dressed up for this)”

——————

Once Tamarack gets on the bridge, there’s a strange path of flowers that head further into the forest. She furrows her brows, hesitant at first before following through. 

Though nothing could’ve prepared her for what she would see. 

MC was on a picnic blanket, readjusting the position of a bouquet he had set next to him, too anxious in making everything perfect to even notice Tamarack standing only a couple steps away. Even Tamarack was speechless, tears in her eyes over how cute this was. MC in formal clothes, a bouquet with brown paper wrap, fig cookies and raspberries in separate containers set next to one another, and a flower crown (made the way Tamarack had taught him when they were ten).

“Tammy!” MC exclaimed, surprised that he hadn’t noticed Tamarack before, “are you okay?” his smile drops at the notice of Tamarack’s teary eyes. “Yes, I’m fine!” she takes a deep shaky breath, “This is just really cute.”

“Oh my god,” MC quickly gets up and rushes over to Tamarack, hugging her tightly, “You’re such a goober.”

“You’re the one that set up this magical picnic” Tamarack huffs, “what’s this even for?”

MC’s eyes widen as if he almost forgot what he invited Tamarack here for, quickly letting go of the embrace he had on her, “I wanted to, I was wondering-” MC takes a deep breath, as if trying to compose himself and find his words, which Tamarack giggled to. Giggled.

“Will you go to prom with me?” He asked, “as a date?”

There was a small pause between the two, only the sound of the wood’s autumn leaves blowing and bird’s chirping could be heard before Tamarack finally breaks it with a loud, 

“Yes?! Of course I will!” She exclaimed, wide grin on her face, “I mean, I didn’t even know if you’d want to go with me, or if you even liked me like that, and then with everything happening to me in band and school, everything just seemed-”

She realized she started rambling before pursing her lips into a lined smile, holding back any more excited rants. She took MC’s hand, before pulling him into another long hug. 

...

”This is nice, but I kind of want one of those fig cookies right now” she mumbled softly into the hug, “Me too, Tammy. Me too” MC sighed.

——————

It was prom night, MC was in the Baumann household, happily waiting downstairs with Opa while Oma and Tamarack were upstairs. MC knew that Tamarack always loved a grand entrance. Even when they were just kids, Tammy always knew how to make a moment magical by just entering a room.

Opa smiled softly at MC, seeing just how excited he was to be there for Tamarack. He knows that MC would do anything for her. He knows MC would never hurt her. Opa’s pretty sure that if it were any other guy, he’d have his suspicions. Finally, Oma came down the steps, quickly picking up the camera she had set up, ready to take pictures of her granddaughter. 

And like always, her grand entrance was a success. The ribbon in her hair, the pink prom dress that fit her perfectly in every angle, her confidence in herself– it made her breathtaking. 

Tamarack’s smile plastered on her face as she rushed over to MC, “You look amazing!” she chimes happily, looking over him in awe. MC smiles at the praise, “Are you kidding? I’m practically in a t-shirt compared to you! I’m going to prom with the prettiest girl.” Tamarack’s cheeks and nose changed to a pink hue, using her hand to hide her laugh.

Though the moment was cut short at the sound of a car honk, “Okay okay you lovebirds, MC’s mother is outside. MC, I trust you to be responsible with Tamarack and to get her home in one peice,” She hums before walking up to Tamarack and cupping Tamarack’s face and kissing her forehead, “and you have fun tonight.”

Opa smiled and nodded, as if giving that same affection just telepathically. 

Tamarack nodded excitedly, holding MC’s hand as they walked outside “I will Oma! Love you guys!”

“We’re gonna be so responsible!” MC announced, “Quick, Tamarack, get the booze” he whispered jokingly, making Tamarack playfully smack his arm. 

——————

They arrived at the prom destination, a barn only a 30 minute drive from where they lived. It was mainly used as a wedding venue, and tonight, the school had gone all out. The fairy lights, the well set decor, the music in the distance, and the crowd of upper grade teenagers enjoying it to the fullest. 

Tamarack was practically bursting with excitement, looking over at MC over how pretty the place is, and how excited she is to be there with him, and to tell him how pretty he looks again, and how she’s probably going to explode if they don’t get in that barn right then and there. MC turned to her, running a finger over a loose strand of hair, pushing it back behind her ear

“Exciting right?” MC smiled,

“This is like the best night ever, MC, you don’t even know! I mean, look at it! Look at you! This is–” Tamarack threw her hands into her face and drew out a muffled groan, “Oh my god”

“You wanna kiss me so bad” MC teased, 

“If you’re lucky, we might” Tamarack snapped back before taking MC’s hand and pulling him and running with him towards the barn.

As soon as they showed their tickets, they heard their friends who were already there. Qiu, Ren, Vianca, and Serenity grouped together, each of them well-groomed and in their own formal outfits. 

“MC! Tamarack!” Vianca smiles, waving them over. 

Ren gives a small smile, Qiu looks at the two, also excited to see their best friends, though there’s a look of uncertainty that Qiu passes between the two. Serenity rushes up to Tamarack, giving her a tight hug, “You look amazing Tam!” 

Vianca looks over at MC, having known MC’s plan from a private conversation, “So did you ask her?” she whispered

MC confirms, “We’re here on a date”

Vianca pumps her fist in victory, “I told you she’d accept!”

Qiu furrowed their brows with a confused grin, “Wait, you two?..” They don’t finish their sentence, letting it sit in the air for a second. MC nods, “Yep! I asked her a couple weeks ago, I just didn’t wanna tell a lot of people the plan in case it didn’t go through” he chuckled almost awkwardly. 

“Oh, that’s..” Qiu hummed, their hand in their pocket fiddling slightly as if they were hiding something in it before composing themself with a sharp inhale, “That’s good! Great! I’m really excited for you guys.” 

Ren chimed in, throwing an arm over Qiu’s shoulders “They’re opening the snack bar finally, do you guys wanna go check that out?” 

“Actually, I think MC and I are gonna keep adventuring, we can meet up with you guys later?” Tamarack throws a subtle glance over at MC as if asking if that was okay with him too. MC nods, and the group disbanded again.

Tamarack and MC walk around the bar, saying hi to the occasional friend, playfully dancing at the songs they do like. About 2 hours in, and they were finally tiring themselves out. MC and Tamarack headed out to the back of the barn, laughing and breathing a little heavier at the amount of moving around they’ve been doing. 

With the music quieter out there, the faint lighting from the fairy lights and the moon, MC and Tamarack looked out at the plain view of the barn’s land. 

“This. This may have been the best night I’ve ever had in my life” She sighed happily,

“Then it’s good we spent it together” MC replied, holding Tamarack’s pinky crossed with his. 

A moment of silence fell between them, taking in the great day they’ve had.

“...I think I know one way on how we can end this night to truly sell it as the best night ever” she said quietly, making MC turn to look at her. 

Tamarack had a nervously giddy look on her face before shrugging, “We could… kiss?”

“Oh? So I’m lucky today then?” 

“Shut up” Tamarack chuckled, “So?”

MC smiled, taking her hand before giving her a small slow peck on the lips, but not moving his body away. It was like a test run on knowing if the first little kiss was okay. When Tamarack didn’t pull away either, instead only earning a tiny giggle from her, MC leaned in again, this time not pulling away from the kiss. 

Tamarack ran her hand through MC’s hair gently as they kissed, their eyes closed, before Tamarack hesitantly pulled away.

“Yeah. That sold it” Tamarack muttered softly, “Thank you for tonight, MC” 

“Anything for you, Tammy”

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c13. I found a mountain.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: Pulaski at night, Andrew Bird.

abstract: Simon. it was alright. it's nothing, I'm not impressed. really, reading this back, I don't know what got to me, I don't know I wasn't even thinking. pretend this is not me, pretend is someone else I swear I don't think this actually happened. Alba's lying as usual. I'm out.

Her eyes lit up. A kid on Christmas morning. 'Really, you wanna know?' she asked, straitening her back. He imitated her, sitting back on the chair and crossing his arms. That position made him look huge and intimidating. She felt her lips curl into a smile. His annoyance with her amused her. 'Tell me what you found', he said, his voice deep and warm. It was the hottest thing she had ever heard in her entire life. He was even more handsome and attractive now. Tell me about your investigation? Tell me about what you found out from your hours of researching like a fucking FBI agent? Dirty talk. Her smile grew wider.

She fixed her posture. 'Okay, so… You remember the stages of the journey in the book? The first one is the River in Jordan, which let's say you guys have already covered.' She kept her tone low, she was secretive. 'The second challenge is a long trip through the desert. When they reach the exact middle of the desert the main character has a revelation or some shit, but it happens right in the middle of the desert.' She stopped because the food had arrived. She took a bite if her burger and wiped her mouth with her napkin before continuing. He was mesmerised by her. 'Sorry, I'm starving… anyways, I went on Google Earth. I measured the distance between Al-Jareena and the closest city to the Persian Gulf, it's 1765 kilometres.' She quickly realised she gave away a crucial information about herself and she hoped he didn't notice. He did. Got you, European. Fuck it I don't care, she thought and took another bite before continuing. He didn't start eating yet. 'I looked right in the middle, 882 kilometres and a half.' she stopped and smiled again. She waited for a few seconds, a pause to build suspace.

'I found a fucking mountain.' She let the words linger in the air. 'And…?' he asked, wanting her to keep going. She had a theatrical way of speaking, probably because she had a eureka moment at her apartment alone, and she wanted to share her excitement. 'I found a fucking mountain, better, it's a crater, look.' She got out her phone from her pocket, opened Google Earth on her phone and looked through the app. The screen illuminated her eyes, making them seem white and light green and made of crystal water. When she found what she was looking for, she passed him the phone. 'It's not labelled, probably not geolocalized. These craters form when volcanoes essentially cool down and collapse on themselves, they can be very deep, they can have water inside. They're all over the world, America, Egypt, Russia… This one is 4 kilometres wide.' He looked at the image of the little dot on the map, a singular circle in the middle of nowhere. 'What's weird is that the closest city is more than 10 kilometres away, it looks like the outer part is quite high, making the centre more secluded,' she clicked the 3D option on the phone, 'and there's something inside.' He looked at her, then back at the phone. He zoomed in, trying to get to the middle of the circle. He could see something, he could't say they were houses. He could see construction for sure, he counted seven buildings. 'I looked through the years to see if they were old. In the images from 2019 there was nothing there. Nothing, there was grass. It were updated again in 2021, nothing again. It was last updated about 90 days ago, that's when the buildings start to appear.' She took another bite, eyes still fixated on his. He was looking at her with her phone in one hand, burger in front of him, his head racing. When she said she had something to say he didn't think about this for sure. The Alba Crater.

'Simon, eat', she said softly and he felt that if he was standing up he would have fainted. His name didn't belong to him when she pronounced it. Not with that tone, that caring tone. He put down the phone without saying a word and peeled his mask over his mouth. It was the first time she saw his lips. A long scar on the left side. It looked like he had more on his jaw and neck. No beard. They ate in silence for a few minutes. She tried to look everywhere but his face, she sensed it made him uncomfortable. She finished before him, she was going to get a stomachache from eating so fast. She waited for him to finish, wipe his mouth and roll his mask back down before looking up again. He noticed she kept her eyes on her plate. He wanted to thank her for being understanding and, at the same time, felt fucking stupid for wearing that mask all the time. Why could't he just be fucking normal for once? He pushed back the thought and focused back on her.

'You're saying this crater is being used as a hiding spot for Khorram.' She nodded, so he continued. 'They started building a sort of little village, the place is secluded, no one really knows about it…' Except you, Alba. 'Yes, the cities are far, there are nearly no roads close by, and I don't think it's a coincidence the building appeared barely a month after your mission was announced. It's in the middle of nowhere...' He sighed. It sure made sense, it was a good story. He didn't understand why she kept having all that information to give them. Because she was good at doing research, and it made him furious. Did he want to tell Price with the risk of making him waste time on a stupid mountain? Was it all just in Alba's fantasy? 'It could be a coincidence…' he reflected and she jumped in. 'It's still something! You have no idea where he is, don't you?' She noticed she raised her tone a little too much and calmed down. 'When Arash gave me that book he looked like he had just met God, for fuck's sake. What if he's following the steps of the book, what if Khorram is inside the crater?' She kept pushing. 'What about the Persian Gulf then?' he asked 'The story is supposed to finish there.'

She bit her lower lip and let her eyes wonder around for a few seconds, lost in thought. She hadn't thought about that, to be honest. It made her insecure about her whole research now… He was right though. 'When do you leave?' she asked. 'Three days.' He sensed the air getting tense between them. Or rather, sad. She fixed a strand of hair behind her ear, 'I have to go walk my dog', she explained, he was already putting on his jacket. He got distracted for a second, for a single second. The waitress appeared next to them and Alba handed her card with a smile. 'Wait…' he tried to protest. She raised her eyebrows 'What?' she asked. She knew exactly what he was thinking, because, well, men. She was disappointed to see he was almost more impressed by the fact she payed than by her research on the crater. 'I would have paid', he said with embarrassment in his voice, and she chucked. 'No, I invited you, I'm paying.'

Truth is, where she was from, paying for meals and offering food was a form of hospitality. Plus, she never did anything fun. He tried to repress internal panic, seeing her buy him food. He wasn't used to it, at all. It made him feel weird, a state he could't describe. Vulnerability maybe. It was stupid, this whole night was fucking pointless. She was silent in the car, he took her back to the ballet school, she had her Polo there. 'Thank you for paying, you shouldn't have', hearing him say that made her smile again. 'You'll pay next time, let it go.' She replied without even looking at him. Her words were rose petals, she brushed it off like it meant nothing. Next time? The fuck do you mean next time? Stop fucking playing with me I am not your fucking friend, he wanted to scream. He couldn't. She was funny, he had to admit. I am leaving in three days I might even fucking die in Jordan and you're saying there will be a next time? If I survive, count me in, I guess, or don't, cause I'm not your friend.

While Simon could not process an answer, Alba knew exactly what she was doing. She liked putting people in difficult situations, she did therapy to deeply damaged army soldiers for a living. He was different from every guy she had ever met. It was nice to talk to someone different, to have interactions and see how people's minds processed. She had always had a love - hate relationship with men in general. Where she was from, boys only ever showed her affection through violence, control and manipulation. Dating was part of deals, part of negotiations. Women were prizes, she had belonged to someone in particular for a few years. I don't use the word belong lightly, she really had been a possession. She hated the Brits she met at university, loud, messy, always drunk and just disgusting as a whole. He was the exception. He wasn't loud. He talked to her softly. Maybe because he was older, he had to be at least 30. He blushed when she talked. He was probably panicking right now and she kinda liked it.

'You shouldn't walk your dog at night, it's dangerous.' He said, and she stopped in her tracks. 'I'll be careful', she said, ready to turn around.

'I'll meet you outside your place.' He drove away before she could say anything and she looked at him go away in pure shock. Her mouth open and eyes wide, what the fuck? She got in the car, turned the engine on. She sent a voice message while reversing to drive away.

'Oi Salvo…indovina con chi ho cenato stasera.'

notes: the crater story is inspired by a true weird crater found on Google Earth with a proper village inside. I changed the distances and some other details. also, what the fuck is a kilometre?? translation: 'Oi Salvo, guess who I had dinner with.'

taglist:

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@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

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[beau-bearr]

Hi sending this for the purposes of adding on some ideas for the vision post, not as anon hate dw.

I think Greg would be Dendro since a lot of his themes are about how others see him and his isolation, being viewed as a hero in the smoke war and wanting to be seen as a normal person. Also visually works imo.

Rodya could be Hydro but Dendro is also valid for the above, how others see her.

Ishmael is Electro, that's closer to an obsession.

Meursault is Geo 100%. The whole religious themes in his book and how strongly he rejects them for his own ideals. He stuck to his own ideas through the whole book and did what he did while processing mamasault's death, which could be cryo but I think Geo fits better. Anemo is also valid, prisoner and persecution n stuff.

I think Faust could be pyro actually, we don't know her reasons in-game yet and it could possibly be at least partly for others, but book Faust did it to indulge on all the world had to offer after no longer enjoying life. I think pyro is acceptable there, also hell symbolism. However Cryo would also fit very well, I also think Anemo is also a really interesting interpretation considering it could be seen as seeking freedom from being shackled to her fate and also the foreshadowing of Faust(Gesellschaft) wanting her to think for herself, be free.

Outis would absolutely be either Hydro or Electro. Wanting to protect her family, having the singular goal of getting home no matter how much damage comes to others.

Now Heath... I think Pyro is a good choice... But hear me out, what about Electro? It absolutely fits for Erlking and his self-destructive rampage, also thunder is one of his main symbols. I think Heathcliff's world revolving around Catherine is a lot better described as determination or obsession. He wants to change for Catherine, return to Wuthering Heights for Catherine, goes through all of Canto 6 to see Catherine, all of this for Catherine... And now he's lost and finding comfort in those around him, which does suit hydro but I think the events of the canto are too different for it to work, it was as much about him as it was Catherine, which is why Electro feels more fitting. He's weird cuz he doesn't fit one perfectly, there's a lot to Canto 6. A lot about how he was treated informing his decisions, a lot that doesn't fit into one.

I also rly like Cryo Sinclair since he's literally the boy that changes that's his thing look at him go!!! Same with Donqui for the impossible dream.

COOKING. I also never thought of geo Meursault (I kinda chose cryo on a soul read, but I do have some thoughts about that too lmao)

I may need to re-read on visions (I haven't played genshin in like,,, over 2 years,,,,, and just recently picked it up again) but all of my takes are from early genshin vision knowledge. Like... player from 1.6 vision knowledge,, so I could 100% be wrong. I did spend over 3 hours explaining all of my thoughts to a friend though, and since you did share this Anon, I am going to use this as an excuse to share my thoughts about it (hope you don't mind)

I didn't get to all sinners because as I'm writing this I realized I can't put asks in drafts and continue to write later, so I'll post now and add later

I think Greg fits with electro simply because every electro character genshin has introduced has been "freak/weirdo guy". Clearly they're not, we get to see them as actual people when hoyo wants to expand on their character. But with Gregor he's been turned into this "monster" and "freak of nature" that people look at him and feel fear. He's constantly rejected simply because of his looks, and I know that bothers him alot. He's such a chill, funny, sad little guy (a grown man) that suffers with the views of others. Characters that fit in this (imo at least): Fischl, Razor, Clorinde, Cyno

I chose the same for Faust, kinda on a soul read, kinda because I think that she's also got that weirdo thing going on. She's able to speak to different Faust's, but refuses to elaborate on things, the one time she's unable to reach her Faust (during MoWE) she becomes this kinda awkward girl who is trying to hid behind her dislike to answering things. I will say I'm not the best at reading Faust so my read on her is probably very wrong, but the one character from GI that kinda supports my thought (to me at least) is Fishcl, in a way I could explain but I won't right now lol (lmao even)

I chose Dendro for Rodya because, and from what I've seen from dendro characters at least, they're very community based and intuitive in others feelings. Rodya has shown in the game that she knows how others are feeling, or even how to get under their skin and get on their nerves. Like she's very mean girl, and to be mean girl you gotta know how to be a bitch with accuracy. Now to be fair, she is a gambler, so she's gotta know how to read people, but then there's her community. Before joining the company, she was working trying to spread wealth to those less fortunate, and trying to feed the hungry. I may be reaching, but that kinda seems a little community oriented to me. The characters I think that fit this and support my claim here: Tighnari, Baizhu (my beloved), Alhaitham, Nahida (I feel like this doesn't count though, because she's an archon?? Idk)

I chose Pyro for Ishmael for two reasons, one is serious and one is kinda stupid. My stupid reason is because I think Ishmael and Heathcliff are best friends, and they needed matching opposite visions, and I knew for certain I was not giving Heath a pyro vision.

But my serious answer WAS that catching the whale was kind of a passion. Now. I never claimed to be smart, and I kinda forgot that obsession was a word for a moment. So 100% this is a bad take from me, but my original thought was that her need to get revenge on ahab, her drive to keep the company away from the lakes. It originally made sense to me. She was genuinely tweaking tf out for the S.E.A intervallo and her canto, like at the time it made sense. You cooked with electro though, so now I'm rethinking this thought... there are no characters to support my claim anymore

I chose geo for Outis cause I feel like it's right to say she's loyal to a fault? My friend was telling me she wasn't loyal to the company exactly, but that made me think that she was loyal to her own cause, which was going home to her wife and kid. Odysseus is extremely faithful to his wife in the book, so this is kinda the only reason why I chose geo? Like clearly she is loyal to dante (albeit she's snarky and rude about it) and going solely off of faith here, I have to assume she was loyal during the war. I think maybe Navia, Gorou and Ningguang fit this? Kinda-ish-err???

I chose hydro at the end for Heath (other than the silly reason) because I don't think any other vision fits him as well as hydro. All I can think of is his love and care for Cathy. He did everything BECAUSE of Cathy. His heart and soul belongs to her, even if there was a chance that she didn't feel the same way. Even Erlking Heath rampages because of his love (and heartbreak) from Catherine. (Can you tell I love HeathCath? Can you tell I'd do anything for Cathy to come back, and for them to be together all the time and be happy????) I do fw electro Heathcliff though, like I did think for half a second about it, but now I'm thinking about it for more than half a second:)

I did put my thought together about Heath because I'm just now finishing the Fontaine story quest, and Heath kinda reminds me of Furina (her love for Fontaine, his love for Cathy....,,)

I changed Ryoshu from anemo to pyro. I was reminded that she doesn't desire the freedom to "paint the world". She will simply just do it. She will do anything to get what she wants, and no one can stop her. And thinking about it now, melt Sinclair and Ryoshu sounds so fun??? (Sinclair Ryoshu friendship is REAL!!!)

Meursault as cryo is kinda a soul read? I don't know much about his source material, or about him in general so I can't make a good take on this. Like, most of my thoughts come from this https://x.com/The_Dontist/status/1897383719822115056?t=LsXsnh_NPejoRqFcRefEGg&s=19

Same thing with Faust, I'm REALLY bad at reading his character. I just see I'm and go "Oh man, this could be just like Wriothesley" and my dumb gay little brain goes haywire.

I ended up picking Anemo for Hong Lu. This is kind of another soul read, but I also think that he ran from his family instead of going on a "learning journey" like he said he was doing. In the check up intervallo, he was one of the two sinners that was picked for the wrath test fight, and I mean.. clearly he's hiding something about his hidden wrath. His family must have done something to make him hide his rage, and he must of gotten tired of it so he left, or is using this "journey" as an excuse of some kind to be free from their grasp.

Most of my 3 hours was spent talking about Hong Lu and his hidden wrath, and how his canto BP will give him his first ever wrath ego and I'm so excited about that. I'm a Hong Lu fan, I love my pretty, silly, fella who goes "Waow¡!!"

[omegaverse-guide]

WHY would you read that?!

Let's admit it - upon encountering omegaverse for the first time, we all thought it was weird. Maybe someone reading this still thinks so. There's certainly enough people out there who wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole.

But it's popular. I love it, personally, and I'm clearly not the only one. There are tv shows being made with a concept that a singular person put into a fandom-specific kink meme a mere 14 years ago. My grandma could walk into the bookstore and see a manga with omegaverse terminology in the title and ask me what it is. That's wild.

So, this is an earnest question - not necessarily of how it spread this quickly, but what's so appealing about it. This is based on my own personal experience and what I've heard others say, not necessarily representative of everyone who enjoys the trope.

From what I've seen, omegaverse has four major draws:

1. Porn

That's kinda obvious, and the one most people would put first, or perhaps as the only reason. And I'll argue the other points later, but I think it'd be stupid to understate the importance of this one. If you're into certain kinks, even if it's exclusively in fiction, omegaverse is great for you. Big dicks, breeding kink, excessive amounts of cum, biting, marathon sex, dubcon, feral/animalistic sex, dom/sub dynamics, possessive behaviour, maybe a dash of furry stuff, it's all there. There's a reason so much omegaverse is pwp, and it's that these are common kinks, and they work well together. People are horny, that's how omegaverse got made and spread, and that's beautiful.

2. Mpreg

Yes, there are other ways to knock a man up. Make him trans. Use magic. Or science, which is essentially the same thing anyway. You can come up with any amounts of ways to make this happen. But the beauty of the omegaverse is you don't have to. You don't have to do any research, you don't need to come up with a reason, and you don't have to figure out what the implications are if you don't want to. This man can get knocked up, and it's totally normal to everyone around him, and everyone reading will know and accept it, so you can get all of that out of the way and just focus on your guy, or all the guys, getting pregnant and having and raising a bunch of kids you made up for them. This gives you the satisfaction of letting any character you want produce babies with any other character you want, while also giving you the chance to torture any man you want with pregnancy symptoms (very cathartic). Or maybe you just have a pregnancy kink! Either way, it's convenient.

3. Social Commentary

Okay, to anyone who's never read omegaverse, this probably sounds like a joke, but I'm dead serious. At the core of omegaverse is one basic assumption: if a group of people is capable of bearing children, society will do anything and everything to make them have kids, and restrict them from whatever other roles they can, and they'll find whatever excuse they can find. It exposes sexism by stripping away all pretense of logic: in omegaverse, omegas are the stand-ins for women, and are treated as such. but anyone can be an omega. it has nothing to do with physical or mental capabilities how you're treated. you could literally be batman, the moment people find out you could theoretically give birth to a child, it's all over for you. the reality of our world is, sexism is still here. it's gotten better in a lot of ways, but sexism is not over. and sometimes the best way of realizing just how not over it is, is to put a man into the exact same situations we experience and go 'hey would that be fucked up or what?'.

4. Free For All

Because omegaverse is, by and large, a fanfiction thing, it's popular with the kind of people who enjoy reading and writing fanfiction. Do you know what the best thing about fanfiction is? No, it's not the gay sex, though that's a close second. The real answer is: it can be whatever the fuck you want it to be. Fanfiction has one major selling point: it doesn't need to be sold. Which means no author ever has to consider a target audience, or god forbid, a mass audience. Someone can just pour out their passion onto the page, and sometimes thousands of people will read it, and other times it'll just be you and three other freaks, but there's no reason to only produce the first type of fic. Most fic writers don't even have an editor/beta reader. And omegaverse is the same in that regard, at least in the realm of fic. It can be literally anything. It can be nothing but porn, including all the kinks, and only all the kinks you personally enjoy. It can be fluffy family stuff. It can be deep drama in a 200k epic, with biting social commentary. It can be all of that at once. Omegaverse has no rules. It's an author's playground, and fic writers love their playgrounds.

So that's my thesis on what's good about omegaverse. Why do you like it? Did I miss anything? Let me know!

[talkingtomyselves]

11 pm. Re: potential 6th failed attempt at therapy?

So the conversation i had with my therapist two days ago was kind of fucked. And first sent me into a spiral of feeling like i was bad at therapy. But then it registered that she said some weird fucking things to me. Like how kids are "pure"(retching sounds) and "can feel when someone is safe" (kind of hilarious to say to a child abuse victim). I wanted to talk about how scary it is to me that kids have zero agency and how i worry about the kids in my life. And then it got turned into "kids need people who have authority over them" and also "kids instinctively trust people because they're Pure and can Sense Your Vibe." Like. Most child abuse isn't inflicted by parents. Also, it made me feel like it was my fault for getting abused as a child because i hadn't magically vibe checked my abusers well enough? It was even more confusing because she went on about kids Knowing when someone is Bad and also kids needing authority to protect them. Like which is it? Pick a side.

And when i started saying that i did basically raise myself so clearly kids are capable of bearing responsibilities i got the "but look how traumatized you are" lecture. First of all i never said it was /good/ for me to run the household and keep myself and my mom alive for years as a kid. I just said i managed it well. And besides that, it would 100% have been better for my brain development if i'd been completely on my own. And she didn't even help me with my initial question of "can i please learn a way to make my flashbacks less intense."

I also feel like i'm getting pushed into emdr? Like, i'm fine with it because i trust my friend who said it helped them. But when my therapist asked what i expected from the treatment i said i hoped it would make the ptsd mild enough to manage. And then i got called cynical because i didn't believe the ptsd would completely go away? It was especially strange bc the therapist i'm going to do the emdr with made a point to warn me that it's not a magical cure. But my therapist keeps acting like this is the only treatment and kept dismissing my concerns with "you just have to do it anyway" even when i had already agreed to try it.

My therapist also used the case of a man who got tortured for a week for political activism as an example of a patient of hers who got rid of the flashbacks. I'm sorry but like. What the fuck does that have to do with me? Like, i'm sorry that guy had to go through that. I'm glad he's doing better now. But like. That's a singular event. That he went through as an adult. When he knew the risks and Chose to do it anyway. I'm not trying to say that my stuff is worse because i have no idea what he went through. But it's different? She knows i was raped for years as a child, and that that's besides the other insane stuff i had to undergo in the meantime. I don't think the situations are comparable. And all that story did was make me wish that my traumatic past could be reduced to like, one really horrible week.

It was such a weird conversation and i have no idea how to fix this next time? Like, besides asking her what the thought process was there. I kind of wish i was tired during the therapy session bc then i could at least feel like maybe i just misunderstood? But unfortunately i was awake and feeling fine. God i had just started to trust her too. But i don't know how to talk this out? Like either she meant it and she's not qualified to help me. Or she just... Does not think about her words at all or maybe she thinks i'm exaggerating my stories. Which also means she's not qualified to help me.

Good luck to me i guess.

[wonderingwanderingsworld]

I am thinking today about a time before I transitioned when I was friends with another trans guy. We were both sex workers at the time. He took a trip to NYC and invited me to come with him. I was so excited to go, but also worried. He knew I had an on and off crush on him. I was poly but he was monogamous. I brought that up and said I was worried about being in a sexually charged environment with him and didn’t want to wind up having anything happen that would accidentally cross his boundaries. He assured me he would allow no such thing to happen, and off we went. We had a great time, spent time chatting on the rooftop and dawn, and I got to meet a bunch of other great folks. One night after a party we were both drunk. Everyone else had left and I started getting ready to go to bed. He asked me if I wanted a massage. I knew what that really meant and said yes, even though I knew it wasn’t ok. Massage of course escalated into other things. We pushed each other around in a boyish way that was so intoxicating to me at the time. I felt like he saw me for who I was, at a time where that was vanishingly rare. We messed around and had a sort of energetic sex. I know I would have done more if I’d felt more confident about trans bodies, but I felt like if I asked it would have broken the spell and we would have stopped. The next day I was so hyped. I was in an abusive relationship at the time and wanted this to be my ticket out of there. I wanted us to run away together, fuck and stay in hotels on the road until we were whole and healed. He, on the other hand, wanted this to never happen again, or so he said. I wound up telling my husband about it, who at that point seemed like he couldn’t give two fucks about me. He didn’t care. But my friend’s mood significantly darkened when we discussed him telling his wife. Under no circumstances did he want that to happen. He became quite upset at the idea that I might tell her, which I did eventually, long after they split up. Over the ensuing months he told me about the various escapades he had with cis men, jerking some guy off on the dance floor at a gay bar, hooking up with another in his car. He told me that these were ok but hooking up with friends was not. He lied a lot so looking back I have no idea if that was true. I still longed for us to be together.

I feel extra weird about that night. Like, it feels rapey. We discussed that something like that could happen, that I didn’t feel comfortable with it given his relationship agreements, and then once we were drunk he initiated it. Did I want it?? Hell yes. For a long time it stood out as a singular time in which someone sexually interacted with me in a way that I felt seen, though later he denied even that. Internalized homophobia probably. But the rapey part, I don’t know what to do with that and it’s just sort of lingered there. I am writing because somehow I would like to put it to rest. But how?

There’s no question he took advantage of me. It feels so much like a power move - cross my boundaries, see if he can get me to say yes so his ego can get some strokes in. It doesn’t even matter what we do, just that I would be willing to do it. Then discard me and fake innocence.

He was the one that arranged the party. Then suggested the “massage” when everyone was gone. Wondering now what would have happened if I said “no.” Would he have accepted that or pressed on? Gotten aggressive? It tells me a lot that I am even asking those questions. It definitely felt like a power move.

I am remembering now too that his wife didn’t like me. She didn’t stop us from being friends but I think she knew in a way that I didn’t understand at the time that we weren’t really friends, that I was more like his side bitch. But I didn’t feel that way. I felt like we were bros, that he saw me, and that sometimes there would be these gay little sparks that were allowed to fly as long as they weren’t named. UGGGGGHHHHHH. I had another trans guy tell me years later it sounded like he was on the down-low. Yeah pretty much huh.

Ok so rapey. How can it be rape if I wanted it. How can it be rape when I don’t even recall him taking his clothes off. How can it be rape when it was gender affirming. How can it be rape when the next morning I wanted more, and was sad he didn’t want that. It doesn’t make sense.

Thinking now what I would say if someone else shared this with me. I would say, sounds like rape to me. Just because you’re attracted to someone doesn’t mean they can’t rape you. Just because you desire sex with someone but don’t want to follow through for xyz reasons doesn’t mean they can’t rape you. He literally waited until I was drunk and we were alone to cross my boundary. That’s gross.

But the other part of me is like yeah, that’s gross, but is it rape?

I would say to someone else, hey. If it doesn’t feel ok for you to call it that, you don’t have to. How does it land in your body now?

I feel a twisting and a sense of disgust. Less violated and more taken advantage of. Like I thought we were actual friends and he just wanted another pawn to play with. How sad. I have been used in this way a number of times. I don’t want that energy in my life any more.

Now I feel like flicking him off of me, like an insect. Just annoying. Which I did do eventually. I take pride in that I sat down with him and told him he had a lying heart. He was a good looking guy but wasn’t loyal to anyone except himself. I’m glad to not have him in my life anymore. I hardly ever think of him except for this still lingering question. I would really like to put it to bed.

Right now I think that I can’t. All I can say is that at minimum that interaction feels gross, that I feel taken advantage of, and that I’m glad he’s no longer around me. I don’t think he’s in any way a sincere person and I’m so glad he’s not in my life. I don’t wish him anything except distance.

I’m annoyed I can’t do more to get rid of this. But thankful for the space to air it out. This still bothers me and maybe I can own that I have a right to that. That feels better.

I am thinking that I don’t want to feel empowered or validated anymore by this gross situation. That I wanna release. I also wanna ponder more on how I have more room for men I consider good looking or desirable to harm me, like my self worth is so low I feel like I wouldn’t deserve intimacy with them otherwise. Yuck.

[jack-bytez-genuine-corner]

you don’t have to experience the heightened levels of oppression that a black queer does. someone who is black AND queer are doubly harassed because of the color of their skin (something they also cannot change) AND their sexuality. i’m sorry you had to face homophobia in high school, nobody should have to experience that, but that was exclusive to you being gay. it wasn’t exclusive to you being gay AND white. can you imagine being harassed for being gay AND black??? can you imagine walking down the street and someone calling you the n-word because of the color your skin and then calling you a fag on top of that????? the idea of intersectionality is very real for black and brown queers and for white queers to act like asking you guys to acknowledge the white privileges you have shouldn’t be that difficult for you to understand. we sympathize with you for the oppression that you’ve faced as a gay man but why can’t you do the same for us when we have to live every day being black AND queer? that’s literally all they were saying and to derail a post that is very true like that, does so much more harm to black and brown queers in ways that i don’t think you understand. again, i feel like you were trying in good faith and that’s the way i’m coming to you but if you weren’t, then op had every right to block you because it is exhausting having to explain why being black and queer is dangerous in the world without white people telling us our experiences don’t matter.

I failed to keep this short so no one is going to read it but here it is after 7 revisions:

* If you feel the need to explain these things than I regret to inform you: I know. POC face outsized oppression for simply existing in America and they often times get silenced and shoved to the side. I actively aided in a local, small BLM rally and gave out water. I held a sign and that's all I did, because it isn't really my place to speak or advocate to others when the people who are directly affected should have that power instead. I've been to rallies and really internalize the fact that it isn't my place to speak, so I don't. That's why I said nothing that is close to undermining the struggles POC face, cause I've actively seen it and heard it from victims. I've seen and heard the terrible state of reservations in the US. But OP was undermining the struggles, and deaths of others on the basis of their skin which is a thing that nobody should be doing. And if you want to act like that didn't happen, their response I believe speaks for itself in it's entirety with a blanket refusal to read an inch of what I wrote. They could not give a singular fuck less about the struggles of others is the vibe I got and still have.

* I thought a lot about what to even post on this ask and on OPs post and made several drafts, but would delete them cause "It's not my place to speak" but when what I'm seeing is "The events I experienced don't matter cause of my skin color" I decided to post it. The only mistake I made is the assumption that the average person is capable of kindness, when really a majority of people are selfish and don't care about ANY issue unless it hits them directly, and I'm the weird one for actively caring about issues that don't affect me in the slightest. It's my bad for assuming there's any level of nuance online, any room for thought that isn't, ultimately, echochambers.

* The active statement I saw from OP read a lot closer to "White people who suffer oppression don't REALLY suffer" which actively carries weight for the oppressor by undermining any oppression as being acceptable as long as the victim is white. Can you get more oppressed than dead? Cause under OP's logic a dead white trans woman is actively less tragic than a living Black trans woman. That's not intersectionality and recognizing white privilege, that's victim blaming someone in regards to their race, because you're ACTIVELY minimizing the violence on a racial basis which not only defends the oppressor but actually minimizes the perception of white privilege, cause ultimately I'd agree with the economic, legal, business, political, religious, historical, healthcare advantages of white privilege but I think the line of that ends when someone is straight up murdered for being trans, is denied that opportunity to work because they married a man. Because if it's the EXACT SAME oppression, should it matter less cause they aren't getting pulled over at random by racist cops? Should it matter less cause they technically have a better chance at better funded education years ago as a kid? Cause white people DO get opportunities POC do not on a completely BS basis, but is that so strong that it's straight up acceptable to say that a white queer who gets fired for being trans, gets kicked out of their house as a 13 year old for being gay is just not that bad, and if they talk about that experience they are stealing the opportunity for POC to talk. Should white queers just never talk about any oppression they face, cause that's the read I've gotten from those I've known since I've been aware I'm gay. Is that really the message that should be internalized, cause that's what I read time and time again: If you talk about your experience you are directly harming POC so you need to sit down, shut up and just never talk about how you got beat for your sexuality because then YOU'RE the oppressor.

* This is the only time in my life I've EVER talked about the harassment i received from bigots IRL online, and I excluded a lot still because I get told to sit down and shut up on this. I want you to REALLY think about why I don't talk about it when I'll appear as a racist (Or an oppressor, you pick) cause I'm silencing others by just stating my own experience. The only people I've told about it IRL I can count on one hand, and the only post I make of it online I'm STILL downplaying it in an attempt to not suck oxygen out of the room for other voices SOLELY BECAUSE I'm white and therefore feel like I can't talk about it without silencing others who have it worse. The only reason I brought it up to begin with was that OP unabashedly undermined a thing that took a lot of years of my life to get over, and then when given that experience, basically told me to fuck off. That's not just a lack of kindness, it's straight up enough to make me depressed for a whole night and really attack the idea of allyship is worth it when the people who claim they care about this exact issue are just straight up willing to say that A experience doesn't matter cause of the color of someone's skin. That's the direct read I got, and I know I should try to be better and try to make sure people who are oppressed in ways I'm not get help and are allowed to just exist without fear of persecution, but I've never felt more slapped in the face than when I read that. Cause ultimately, nobody wants to be told their struggles don't matter. The struggles and oppression of POC I honestly rank as one of the most important issues facing society, cause it's criminal how many Black neighborhoods are treated as not important to upkeep, not important to give clean water to, not important to give quality healthcare to, let alone the sadistic violence committed onto those communities by those who should be helping them ala cops and government. It's fucked up beyond belief that having a Spanish or Korean last name can get your resume shredded when applying for a job, it's not right that Black people get discriminated against in home loans. These are horrible, deep issues and I don't need to tell you that, as there's endless amounts of Black people who are more educated on those topics who can explain it and tell you how they would fix it. It's not my place to do that speaking so I don't, but I never intended, nor think I did, undermine their struggles. However it's beyond screwed up that real people's real, horrific deaths don't matter cause of the color of their skin. After all, the oppressed person was white, so it's more acceptable and less tragic.

(As a tangent, you're downplaying what I experienced just as much as OP did, cause I'm not "Doubly oppressed" like it's some sick competition. I don't believe for a nanosecond that you're sorry for that either, cause again, I'm not in your immediate in group and therefore, as an other, my problems aren't really that important.)

[lemontartyellow]

Thoughts now that I have done it

-Evan Buckley is an incredibly crazy bitch. Him starting to be weird the moment he found out Eddie and Tommy were hanging out. Him being……….jealous of Chris thinking Tommy is cool???? Weightlifting to……get Eddie’s attention? To get him off the phone with Tommy? Getting a basketball so him and Eddie could play basketball ball? Him saying “I don’t know” to Maddie asking if he sprained Eddie’s ankle intentionally. Inviting Tommy to Maddie’s wedding after one singular failed date. Asking Tommy to move in before he can say that he loves him. I love him

-I didn’t realize that Eddie and Tommy being similar was not only canon but Buck also was the one to point it out. Some crazy work to be honest

-I think Buck was at least a little jealous of Tommy too.

-Buck calling himself an ally….while on a date with a man???

-“Evan, I think you’re adorable, but I don’t think you’re ready”. Buck please I need you to not let a man speak to you like that. Buck please.

-Buck also seemingly being more upset about lying to Eddie than Tommy ending their date early is also crazy work.

-Unrelated but I also watched the scene of Chim and Maddie in the hospital. And guys they’re literally in love

-“Your father’s alive” ?????? Cmon man

-The “God I hope so” scene is. Fine I think from a “is Tommy an asshole for saying it” perspective. Not sure why the writers decided to bring a daddy kink into this scene about Buck’s father figure almost dying though.

-These guys are kind of doing nothing for me. Which is sad because I was expecting to like them for the most part because I did like the vision in a cone comment but I feel like there’s kind of not a lot there.

-I’m skipping 8x01 and 8x05 because I don’t think watching them again will enlighten me any further.

-Also. Nothing about these guys scream endgame to me. Sorryyyyy

-I do like how their break up mirrors them getting together though

-Buck acting like Tommy threw the first brick at Stonewall 😭

-Ahhhh. I get it. Buck is being impulsive by asking Tommy to move in with him. Ive read a few analysis posts and now it makes sense why he said that he’s still figuring himself out now too. The whole thing makes sense now. Just goes to show that you really do need context most of the time

My final thoughts: Not a huge fan of their relationship and I think it and Tommy are kind of nothing. Also the hamster wheel.

Ok. To get full context for the Bucktommy stuff I’m going to watch all of their scenes including the ones I already watched.