#which is true but I've worked with people who aren't replaceable

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

You've written on pregnancy with a ghoul but do you have any opinions on the possibility of synth pregnancy or pregnancy with a synth as the sperm wizard

(Mild warnings for brief discussion of pregnancy loss and maternal death.)

I had to sit on this question for a while and do a bit of synth research to re-familiarize myself with how they're made (because Nick Valentine is the only synth I care all that much about). Unfortunately for y'all, all that rumination means I'm about to sound like I've thought way too much about this, which I absolutely have.

Bear with me.

I've heard stories of people passing away and their sperm that had been previously stored (typically in advance of the person having a vasectomy/consenting to something that would limit future sperm production) being used by their spouse or partner to have children afterwards. Similarly, but a little more ghoulishly (no pun intended and also this is a personal opinion), postmortem sperm retrieval IS a thing, if you didn't know. Live sperm can be harvested from the testes if the procedure is performed quickly enough after death, or on a living person who is brain dead.

For obvious reasons, the ethics of it are hotly contested, as are the ethics of using the harvested sperm for impregnation, but let's not pretend that morality ever stopped the Institute. PSR has been used in the past by the spouses of recently deceased or brain dead men in order to have biologically related children they wouldn't be able to otherwise have.

With that little bit of background, I'll say that I imagine having a baby with a "swapped" synth, someone intended to replace a person who already exists, could be much the same sort of thing...but, you know, without you really knowing about it. They yoink your partner, harvest their sperm before they disappear them, and implant the harvested sperm into the Gen 3 replacement's lab-grown body. Bang. Boom. Baby.

However, I think whether or not synths can reproduce at all is pretty up in the air. True, the most recent generation of synth is constructed entirely of tissues grown in their labs; the human body is comprised of much more complex cells than gametes (sperm and egg cells) that would have to be produced to have a functional body, so it's feasible to assume that they have the technology to lab-create those simpler cells, too.

However, I ask this: why would they bother?

We know that the Gen 3's have organic bodies and that they're literally constructed from actual muscles/bones/organs, but who's to say some of the organs they install aren't basically "for show"? Most claim the Gen 3's don't have to eat or sleep, so are the organs that manage these functions (namely the digestive organs and possibly the reproductive organs) truly "functional"?

Obviously they can be used if needed, since Gen 3 synths can eat if they choose, but your GI tract taking stuff in at one end and spitting it out at the other doesn't mean it "works". If they truly functioned as human organs do, they'd need regular access to nutrients, rest to recuperate. A synth brain, for example, can't function the exact same way a human brain does if a synth doesn't have to eat to stay alive; the human brain requires glucose, AKA sugar obtained from eating, to function. That's why low blood sugar often gives people brain fog and puts them into a bad mood, and why it can be a medical emergency if it drops low enough. You wouldn't want that vulnerability still included in the design of your synthetic human, even if you wanted your lab-grown brain to match a real one as closely as possible.

They're supposed to be indistinguishable from humans, inside and out, but if you did an autopsy of a dead person (or synth), and their organs looked normal upon inspection, there are things about their body you still wouldn't see. You wouldn't have any idea if they actually had sperm or eggs inside their reproductive organs just by looking with the naked eye, and if they didn't have those cells, it wouldn't necessarily mean anything. Failing to include those cells wouldn't expose their design any more than including the brain chip (you know, the one you have to kill the person to access) does. Not every single detail has to be covered. If you've gotta literally dissect someone to figure out if they're a synth or not, synths and humans are about as close to one another as they're gonna get.

BUT: if I'm quite honest, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that all synths are just sterile across the board, and that the Institute didn't bother including reproductive capability when they were deciding how they would craft the Gen 3 synths. Simply not allowing them to reproduce would be the simplest choice. After all, I imagine allowing your remote-controlled minions to start having their own children can make them prone to disobeying you if what you want isn't in the best interest of those children. It's a massive variable to add into the equation when you're making devious plans.

The infertility would be easy enough to write off, too, in a world filled with radiation exposure and malnutrition; sometimes people just can't have babies and that's their lot. Even if someone's had children before, that doesn't mean that their fertility will be intact forever. Say your spouse and the parent of your child was swapped with a synth, and you went on to try and have another child, but failed. Would you automatically assume it's because your partner was swapped with someone built in a lab? Or would you just write it off as bad luck/declining health/some environmental factor? Stress can also contribute to infertility, and the Fallout universe is all stress, all the time. I imagine lots of people who want children struggle to have them. Doesn't mean their partner is a synth.

But hey, it's not an entirely unrealistic idea. Who's to say that the Institute wouldn't also have considered planning something more complex and long-term, like creating a number of synth men capable of impregnating people, of starting families and helping to build communities, synth men who could still be programmed to be very useful? A plan like that could be set up to go on even in the event that the bulk of their personnel were killed, their facilities destroyed. If you program these men to do what you want them to do (and let them think it's their own idea to be the way they are), give them the ability to father children, and send them out into the world, you could still have your desired impact in the future even if you weren't around to direct or see it.

Conclusion: I would call the likelihood of penis-having synths being able to knock anyone up "scientifically possible but not probable".

In terms of synth pregnancy, I think that could be both simpler and much more complicated, depending on which angle we're approaching the situation from.

As I mentioned above, I'm not sure what the purpose would be to allowing a synth with ovaries to go off and reproduce unless you were planning to use that reproduction to control people over a great amount of time. Even then, it's kind of a questionable plan, but the Institute loves a questionable plan! However, designing a synthetic human that can grow and birth a baby while making it seem natural would be a big ask.

It also doesn't have nearly as much theoretical "use" as a concept if Gen 3's being able to reproduce was desirable (which I don't believe it is, at least from the perspective of those who created them). Even if the children of synths were susceptible to the same control their parents are under somehow, so synths having babies just means more controllable pawns you didn't have to manufacture or program yourself, one synth could still only have so many babies at a human pace if they're the one carrying them all. A single woman has the maximum capability of one full-term pregnancy per calendar year, and that pregnancy usually only results in one baby. A guy can get a different woman pregnant every day, in theory. Multiple women. If they were gonna put resources into perfecting synth reproduction, I don't think it would be on this end of the deal.

Sure, if their scientists wanted to grow a real fetus (the product of combining a sperm and an egg, not a meat sculpture you made in the lab) in a literal tube or chamber, I'm willing to bet they could. Artificial womb technology seems easier to master than "growing whole bones and organs from scratch" technology. But the point is the realism, and building a female-presenting synth who doubles as an artificial womb and building a synth who passes as a pregnant or postpartum woman are different ballgames.

The synths aren't designed to change. They don't age, they don't get sick or tired. Hell, they don't even gain weight even though they can eat, which implies they don't digest what they take in. A body that requires little to run has little to give...how does one deliver nutrients to a fetus if you don't require them yourself, if you don't actually get anything from eating?

All that is to say nothing about the pure change in physical size that can occur during gestation, how your organs are quite literally shifted around as the fetus takes up more and more room in your torso. The Mayor McDonough replacement synth was quite literally "built" fat because he wouldn't have been capable of gaining enough weight to look like the original if they'd made him smaller. If the synth body isn't intended to change, even in body mass, how would a growing fetus fit past a certain point? I don't think it would, frankly, at least not in a way that wouldn't spell disaster for all involved. A pregnancy like that either wouldn't make it to term, would be incredibly negatively impacted by the lack of room to grow, or would kill the mother. Maybe all of the above.

Overall, their type of physiology doesn't scream "capable of withstanding the immense changes caused by pregnancy". Having a baby is literally the biggest change you could ever make to your body on all fronts; even your internal chemistry changes when you become pregnant in order to support the fetus. Your body is irreparably altered when you carry a baby to term, and it has to go through a series of changes to even get to that point to begin with.

It's not like when your "sperm wizard" gives a few pumps and their work is done; moving sperm from point A to point B isn't complicated or difficult from a scientific perspective. Pregnancy is incredibly complex and involves multiple intense processes directed by the brain and reproductive organs in order to come to fruition. You have to ovulate, have proper implantation, allow for all the change that occurs in the body over the course of gestation, and account for the trauma of labor and birth, even if by cesarean. The human body is also intended to support the infant in the postpartum stage...imagine a synth capable of breastfeeding.

The hormones of it all are by far the biggest consideration. Successfully getting pregnant would involve creating synths with wombs whose bodies also follow the 28-day hormone cycle, or whose endocrine system at the very least produces all the necessary hormones that allow successful reproduction. Even the previously mentioned breastfeeding ability is a product of hormonal changes that occur in pregnancy. Frankly, endocrinology (the study of hormones and the organs that produce them) is incredibly complicated for modern scientists to even wrap their heads around, so I think the folks at the Institute would have a big order on their plates if they wanted to theoretically make something like this happen. All these complex processes would have to be nailed perfectly in order to create a synth capable of a real pregnancy, and a synth that real is just a person who cost a lot more to create.

Sounds like a lot of goddamn work just so your literal slaves can have babies who will inevitably motivate them against you.

Conclusion: synth pregnancy where the synth is the one carrying would be much, much harder to pull off (so hard it wouldn't be an endeavor worth pursuing) and would likely end very poorly for both mother and fetus.

[fazcinatingblog]

When will my boss realise a client underpaid $70 and that I just wrote it off

[nothingelsematterswrites]

why logan isn't getting replaced at imola, a breakdown

(aka a breakdown so my fellow logan girlies (gn) don't break down)

I've seen this getting around, with a little traction and some people panicking a bit so let's discuss.

Joe Saward has not been a reliable source of transfer news for some time. Let's be real. A lot of this is gaining traction because Saward is "a 35 year accredited F1 journalist". And this is true, he has long experience in F1 and is accredited in the paddock. But it has been many, many years since he was accurate about driver market predictions.

You have to be eighteen to get a superlicence (thanks, Max!). Antonelli does not turn 18 until August. For him to be granted a superlicence in time for Imola, the FIA would have to issue an exemption. If Antonelli was carving up F2 it'd be one thing. But he's been far from convincing so far, and it hasn't just all been Prema. He is an F2 rookie - and he looks like it.

James Vowles has already said that Antonelli to Williams next year is not a given, because Williams has its own juniors - of which Logan is one. Now I know James has been in the bad books with plenty of us since the whole chassis debacle in Melbourne but I do believe him on this. He is quite keen to establish that Williams is not a feeder team for Mercedes and that has been the board's position for some time too (remember their angry denunciation when the rumour was that Oscar was going to replace Latifi at Silverstone?).

James Vowles still believes in Logan. Now I know some of you will be claiming this is doubtful, but I do believe it to be true. In the Japan Vowles Verdict he was warm in his praise for Logan's race pace and early stint - to the point his voice literally changed tone while answering the question. He was absolutely effusive in his praise for Logan after the Melbourne debacle. I do genuinely think that James wants to keep him.

Bringing in a driver change mid-season is incredibly disruptive - you don't do it unless you are certain you're getting a better deal out of it. Last year Alpha Tauri brought in Daniel halfway through the year. The main reason for this was because he was a fairly immediate upgrade to de Vries. But even if you're scornful of Daniel's pace, the other reason they wanted him was for his feedback and car development ability, which AT were pretty vocal that they found invaluable. Bringing in an extremely green, unprepared rookie who has barely worked with the team would be a recipe for instability, morale issues, and more broken bits, which is the absolute last thing Williams needs.

Toto Wolff can't offer James Vowles a big enough incentive to take his junior. Let's cut to the chase on this: to insinuate that James would take Antonelli just because Wolff asked is a pretty big insult to James. He's not Wolff's lapdog. They clearly respect one another and have a personal relationship outside of the sport, but that doesn't mean he'll just do whatever Toto wants - he didn't get to be team principal that way. So Toto would need to offer James an incentive. But what can he offer that James actually needs? Williams aren't broke any more, so money isn't going to cut it. And Williams already run the Mercedes engine, so Toto can't convince him with that. What Williams actually needs - the cultural and procedural overhaul that James has begun - Toto cannot help with.

tl;dr keep cool and keep the faith, logan fans. there's still plenty of time left in our ride.

[flowerakatsuka]

denki!kuroba has plagued my mind for the past 24 hours so it's time to drop their design & lore. ( bonus + more lore under the cut! )

( ya'll knew i had to find a way to shoehorn kurokara into this au SOMEHOW. )

while they don't meet during the events of six idol statues of taboo, kuroha does eventually get to meet chorosuke's recently reunited brothers afterwards. strangely enough, it seems that karatsugu knows who they are. kuroha's life before the accident was much like the one kuroba lives ; having attended college for horticulture and working at their grandfather's floral shop. karatsugu and kuroha had known each other for a long time, having become friends in high school and staying quite close into adulthood. because of this, he was absolutely devastated when they suddenly disappeared a year and a half ago while on the way to visit family in yokohama. there were no reports of any crashes or deaths, no missing people found, nothing. it was as if they were spirited away, never to be heard of again. upon learning this, kuroha is rather distraught. even though his face is so familiar to them, the past he recounts to them refuses to come back to them. something they had been keeping a secret from the others at the midorito estate was that they had begun to recollect some things, but what they remembered seemed more like strange dreams than any memories they should have. memories of traveling with mononoke, fighting in gang wars, fending off youkai, a life much like what karatsugu described but not exactly the same... and in all of those memories, the six same faces, so eerily similar yet unsettling different. the most prominent of them all being the faces just like karatsugu's. they aren't sure why these strange memories are all they can recall, perhaps they're finally losing it, but with the brothers' help, kuroha might be able to figure out the true meaning behind them and even remember their life in this universe along the way.

ALSO, a quick explanation of denki!kuroba's name!

( fair warning : my understanding of japanese is very rudimentary so i may have made some mistakes in my translation or how names are written. please let me know if that's the case and i'll correct anything i've gotten wrong! )

kuroba / クロバ -> kuroha / 黒葉 ( くろは )

kuroba's name is written in katakana while kuroha's is written in kanji ( with furigana written in hiragana. )

kuroba's first name comes from クローバー ( kurōbā ) meaning clover. when the dakuten from バ ( ba ) is removed, it becomes ハ ( ha. ) the equivalent of ハ in hiragana is は, which is used in the furigana for kuroha's name. the kanji used for kuroha is 黒 ( kuro ) meaning black and 葉 ( ha ) meaning leaf.

yotsubana / 四つ花 ( ヨツバナ ) -> shinigusa / 死に草 ( しにグサ )

yotsubana comes from 四つ葉 ( yotsuba ) meaning four-leaved, notably used in the japanese for four-leaved clover / 四つ葉のクローバー ( yotsuba no kurōbā. ) the kanji for ba in youtsuba is swapped for 花 ( hana, ) which can be read has bana like in the surname tachibana. as a result, their surname can be read as " four flowers. "

the 四 ( yo ) from yotsubana, which can also be read as shi, becomes 死 ( shi, ) meaning death. the adverbializer に ( ni ) replaces つ ( tsu. ) the kanji for hana is replaced with 花 ( kusa, ) which is lifted from a synonym for clover, 詰草 ( tsumekusa. ) kusa becomes gusa as an instance of rendaku. their surname can be roughly read as " dead(ly) grass. "

[the5n00k]

An observation about TGAMM The End

Big big spoilers ahead, click away if you aren't caught up

This is also my first NEGATIVE TGAMM analysis post! Wowie! So if you don't want to see me bitch, also click off now

The End and how Molly McGee's character was disrespected

The End is. An episode. I have many MANY thoughts about it but it would be far too long to put in one post so I'm going to explore one of my more reoccurring opinions. This episode recontextualized a lot of things but I'm going to talk about how it recontextualized Molly as a character. Most importantly as a MAIN character. A TITLE character. A character with her own past and personality and feelings. All of which this episode completely stomped all over, handed her the check, and said "figure it out"

I want to apologize to my friend who called this so SO much earlier into the series and that he had to listen to me watch this show on lethal amounts of copium. You were right but I knew neither of us wanted you to be.

Now let's get into the meat of it, shall we?

All throughout season 1, Molly's history and relationship with the concept of friends is always treated with complete sincerity and the emotional pause it needs to sink in with the audience that she's been through it. Moving away and leaving friends is why she put so much importance on the "forever home" in the first place because she's had to leave so many people she loved. She had a rocky beginning with Scratch during the early season but quickly became on equal footing with him as they began to understand each other and their boundaries. Because she genuinely cares about him. Similarly, season 2 explores the boundaries of their friendship and shows Scratch more willing to participate in whatever Molly is doing, even begging sometimes to be included. And Molly is very patient and kind with him all throughout trying to help him regain memories of his past. And Scratch actually reciprocated a few times like helping her learn Thai and working with Libby to set her up with Ollie. They're the closest they've ever been and something I can confidently call true best friends, possibly the closest and healthiest friendship I've seen portrayed in media. Season 2 showcases how far either of them are willing to go to help each other.

Then The End happened.

Molly is the same understanding and supportive friend as she had been all season, almost to a fault. She encourages scratch to go back to his life, knowing the risks that come with it. Why did there need to be the risk of forgetting her when his spirit didn't immediately forget his living life? Don't know. Something to do with an unreleased episode although I doubt the rest of season 3 would have sweetened my opinion of this episode. Only she knew he was about to do this, she didn't talk to any of his other friends or family before he went out to Todd's house. They only found out after the fact and the next morning is when he left. None of them had any time to process that they just lost a family member, especially not Molly.

The scene where he's talking to her on the bench breaks my heart. Knowing your friend is no longer there and is replaced with this stranger. So much of this episode would have been fixed to just let him keep his memories. Considering how hard it was to pull his living memories out of his spirit, it's very likely that even the small fragments of her he remembers will slowly fade away. She had to do the one thing she never wanted to do again and repeat the same pain that's plagued her for the entire series. And it sucks! Why doesn't she get a happy ending? Hell, I'm not even convinced this was a "happy ending" for scratch since he can't remember any of the people he just spent the last two years with.

The biggest slap to the face is when Libby, Geoff, and the McGees come up behind Molly and just act like all of this is fine? They're treating scratch like this wild animal that deserved to be released into the wild because he could never fit in with society when he was PERFECTLY HAPPY with the McGees. He proudly displayed to the entire ghost world that he was an "honorary McGee" and told a ghost hunter to his face that him and Molly would do anything for each other despite their differences. Was all of that completely pointless? Because it sure feels that way. He had this entire new "life" he just completely abandoned because oh I guess I'm not really dead. Guess I better go reconnect with my childhood friend I haven't seen in person or had any meaningful conversations with in decades!!! See ya, chumps, hope you weren't attached to me or anything!

It's so disrespectful to the audience's investment in Molly and Scratch's friendship, the themes of friendship overcoming all odds and lasting forever, and Molly as a character. And to a lesser degree, it's even disrespectful to Scratch since most of the season he spent brooding over the fact that he didn't remember his past! Now he's forgotten a large portion of his "life" all over again. Now he's going to have to live with this nagging itch at the back of his mind that he's forgetting something until he manages to completely repress it too. And to rub salt in the wound, the credits don't have near sight nor mention of Molly McGee outside of a painted portrait of her and (spirit) scratch. All this does is tell me a LONG time has passed and neither of them have managed to successfully contact each other. The dream team is gone, this is a story about a girl and a ghost and none of it meant anything.

"he'll remember when he dies again!" Where does it say that

"he didn't forget, he said Moll! That means something!" The longer he spends away from the McGees and Brighton, the more likely he is to completely forget them altogether. The vague memories will eventually fade away and every "forever memory" will be worthless.

"it doesn't matter, this is Scratch's story" then why isn't it called 'scratch and the human girl'? Or 'the scratch show'? Why is Molly a title character if she's nothing but a plot device for his character development.

"Molly had to learn how to say goodbye." No she didn't. She's been doing that her entire life. She's pretty well aware of how to say goodbye. Making her relive 13 years of trauma from the other side of the vehicle doors is not a useful life skill. Pain is not necessary to grow up.

I don't care what the excuse is. This was a terrible ending for both characters and no amount of "he's happy now!" coping from both the fans and the writers is going to get me to see this any other way. If you enjoy the episode, great! I'm happy for you, there's a lot to love in the music and voice acting and breathtaking animation. But none of that could save me from this abysmal attempt at a series finale. I was so viscerally disgusting by this as a finale that I spent a good two days completely nauseous thinking about it. What a disaster. The sad part is I like the story potential! Him reuniting with Adia is what I've wanted for him all season so he could get closure. Molly and Scratch having to say goodbye is heartbreaking but understandable, a lot of shows nowadays end that way and I half expected it. But him completely forgetting the girl he owes his new lease on life to? My gosh it's just a deal breaker. It is such a cruel end for these characters and I cannot wrap my head around why they thought it was a good idea outside of cheap angst.

I wanted to like this episode and I still do. But they just did so much wrong when one thing could change and it would have completely flipped my opinion on the episode and series in general. But what do I know, I'm just a negative nancy.

Anyway idk how to end this off, justice for Molly McGee, Scratch deserved to be called Scratch McGee, kill Todd Mortenson, peace out

[kazoolapow]

Dark they were, Golden Eyes. part 1

pairing : vampire! Azula x f! reader word count : 2.7k warning(s) : azula being a vampire should be a red alert on it's own. and oh my god, she's gæ. summary : you are a journalist that's struggling to keep your self-employed job running. you specialized in vampire research. Sokka, your partner in crime, forced you to tag along with him for the richest family's party, The Azulon Family (just pretend their last name is Azulon). your mission is to befriended a rich person to support your business. But everything you planned changed when she approached you... A/N : it's my first fic that i humbly share to the world. because it has taken over every waking moment of my life. there will be a few parts to this. i hope y'all enjoy it!

Have you ever feel trapped? No idea which way to go. Whichever paths you choose, you lose? Within your mind, you could have sworn that you had tried every way, anything—no matter how small it is, yet the results countered back your hard work? If yes, then hi, I feel you, I see you. Life is a funny thing. No one said life is fair. But no one warned it hurts like a bitch.

Yes, life sucks. It can go to hell, for all I care, in which I'm unaware of how that concept works. Life going to hell. But that's not enough to convinced me ending mine and actually go enter the place. Hell is a friendly concept I've accustomed with, even befriended with. I spent my whole spirit of being to research this creature from hell. A creature from it lurked around my innocent city.

From what I believed, it tore down and melt the innocence as slowly it replaced by gruesome, wicked, egoistical philosophy that pathetically most people worship. A creature so acute, people started to be indifferent by the sight of it's true evilness. To them, it brighten their minds with new ways of thinking, just enough light to blind them with much ignorance to the nature of this mass of a scam. An intellectual vampire laid out their plans with the outmost care that the facade is as good as it is true. As most people followed the philosophy from an unknown author, a follower with no clue to who.

And so, my pathetic life is on the line to, at least, try to wake people up. I wanted to help. Eradicate this unnecessary pile of evil that no one asked for. The world's already disarray as it already is, it always were. But a place has it's limited space, this newfound philosophy is just none other like an ugly Christmas sweater, you wore it once and for the rest of your time it should be ignored and unbothered.

Of course, what's life without it's injustice. My research is on the brink of collapse. A Jenga wobbly piece, tempted to be pulled by gravity in any moment. If that vampire played their game right, they might just won and left my Jenga to take a dive.

"Hey, Long Face." My thoughts halt, adjusting my blurred vision to his waving hand. "There's no turning back now." Sokka eyed my face, as if he just heard my thoughts narrating.

"I know." I say flatly. My head feels heavier from waking up to reality, I'd rather to be drowned by my flowing thoughts until the time of a big event is five minutes away. The intrusion from Sokka, sadly, set the train of thoughts into the distance, a distance I could not reach. Irritated, I turned to him with his compulsive to take off his suit that he said was torturous. "Ugh," I sighed. "Why do we have to do this again? Just the both of us?"

"Shush. You complained like an annoying walkie talkie."

"But we could get some help! From your sister, Katara would—"

"Listen," He points a finger, uncaring to let me finish my sentence. "Katara is growing a family with Aang. Children, my friend, children. We cannot bother them with this anymore." I frowned. Slumping my tensed shoulders down with a defeat. "You talk big about growing a family. What about Suki?" I probed. He stopped his movements to process what I said. "Aren't you supposed to plan something for her?"

He lets out a dramatic sigh. "You doubt me? Even the slightest bit, teeny tiny bit, as thin as a paper? You wound me, Y/N." His expressions animated with over-exaggerated pout, big doed eyes, and hands covered his face. I narrowed, not taking his hints to break a smile to his magnificent acting. It's quite pitying. He dropped the act to convert to a new emotion. "Of course I do! I'll have that ring slipped to her finger in no time. But just—let her focus on her study, okay?"

I hummed. Everyone is taken to a commitment for the love of their life. A ceremony where exchanging vows and complicated administration work that will lead to their new chapter. Then what's the empty promises that friends made, the ‘I'll always be there for you’. Is that just empty words? Because legally, people are devoted to tie their ropes of responsibility and loyalty to their chosen partner. Love is a funny thing. Like a cake divided up, but one slice have a slight bigger size compared to the others.

"Hey." He called. "It's for your cause, too. If I leave you as a married man, then who's gonna help you do all the dirty work without all the money?"

He spat. He spat the fact that shuddered every living nerves inside of me. I had no fear of working alone. I fear of losing support from like-minded people like him, I fear their trust in what I do will evaporate to thin air. Hope would be all gone within me. I keep digging up the seeds that I sow yet nothing I plant will ever truly grow. I sighed, massaging my tensed temple due to overheating use of brain power. "You're right." I say in defeat.

"Alright then, Frowny Face. We're going to nail this." He took a hold of my shoulders. "I got your back." An instant smile turned my frowned lips upside down.

"Now, listen up. Here's the plan. A bunch of aristocrats will be cramped together for three hours in this party. The main goal is to win a heart of a loaded aristocrat enough to support your work with their innumerable amount of cash. If you're fortunate, then two or more would be nice. But if you're lucky—The Big Jackpot would be to get close to The Azulon Family. At least, one member of the family. Since individually, they have huge, gigantic, loading to erupt of a volcano of a money," He gestured explosion, arms stretched open wide to reveal his "boom" voice more audible.

"But," he added, composing himself again. "Never ever, ever be a kilometer close with the daughter." His lips thinned.

"Azula?" I tried, remembering the family's name one by one.

He nodded slowly. "That woman is impossible to win over. She's ruthless. A great liar and just an absolute sinister. God knows what will happen if we ever partnered with her, we'd be good as a stray cat."

"Why's that?"

"In what mad Jasmine Dragon Tea you've been into? Have you not hear the news?"

I shrugged. "I don't follow politics." Politics is where the philosophy was planted it's root deep. While it may be a main cause on my research to the vampire, it's too much havoc for me to handle. I cut to the chase to the planter instead.

He groaned. "It's a long story. This one thing you should keep in mind. Do not go near her. Understand?" He stare deep to me, waiting for my reply. "Yes, sir."

———

"Act natural." He lowered down to my ear. What's does natural even mean in this cramped up party with full of devious people? "What does it even mean? People like us may have different definition of natural from people like them." I scoffed, earning a glare under his party mask.

"Don't you dare being a partypooper now. If you observe anything from my acting, you would've been so wise." He offered his arm for me to take. Hesitating, I took it as we walk towards the big door that hid the party I dread for. "The Azulon will be dressed in red today." He informed before the doors were being opened by a footman.

As soon as the door was opened for us, my senses immediately struck in awe. Everybody was going out. What's with these doors being opened, and the descent and the start? It seemed as if the whole town were embarking in little boats come ashore to the bank, tossing on the waters, as if the whole place were floating off in carnival. And golden as it was the room shine so bright. The pillars even pronounced itself with detailed, complicated carvings. And there was a sense of midges round the arc lamps. It was so hot that people stood about talking, anonymously, veiling their identity under their elegant party mask. Even when you are the center of attention, you're still a nobody.

I let Sokka guide me to whatever group of people, he didn't care what kind, but only with money in mind. He sparks almost anyone with laughter. Some give him queer looks, mostly from the timid attached with their stuck up personality. From there, I work my way up to try talking to the timid. They are collected, cold in their reactions and firm on their judgement. If the topic is mainly about them though, they'll warm up to you. Treat them special, like interviewing the star of the show.

After a while, I grow sloppy in my choice of words. I slurred and basically parrot what the other person said without adding any spice that would trigger an interest. "Hey." Sokka called, a hint of excitement in his voice. "I spot the son of Azulon. I think I can convince him. Should we go?" He's not asking me, he insisting me as he dragged me to Zuko. "Sokka, please. I need to catch a breather, just a moment, please?" I begged, resisting his pull to the red suited tall man and the crowd surrounding him. He sighed, letting his arm slide from mine. "Alright, you stay here. I'll go get the boy's pocket money."

"But—" He shushed me before I could protest. "I'll do the dirty work, remember?" He patted my cheeks and send me a reassuring smile. I shooed his hands away. "Then what am I going to do?" He shrugged, taking a glass as the waiter was passing by. "You could charm Ursa Azulon. She's an easy one. She's a sweetheart, like you. You two will hit it off." I narrowed, is he being serious? "Then why didn't we start on her, for the last goddamn hour that was wasted?" He held his hands up. "Networking." He said innocently. "But now, I got a boy to catch, Y/N. See ya."

I huffed, letting my hands hang mid air as I watch Sokka dance his way to Zuko. I shook my head and walk ahead without any destination in mind. Would an unaccompanied woman, strolling along like a lost puppy catch any attention? I feel like a child that's hungry of attention in telling their craves with telltale signs and persuasive hints. I try to turn my attention to the room. To the people in their heavenly dresses. To the roar of chats and erupt of laughter here and there. To the chandelier that float with dignity.

Nothing was interesting anymore to hawk. The all the same visual impressions becoming dull after half an hour. My idleness has failed me now, as if the eye were a cup that overflowed and let the rest run down it's china walls unrecorded. It's now or never. It’s now or my work will drown forever. My brain must wake now. My body must contract now. My soul must brave itself to endure.

"Hey. There you are." A cool, feminine voice sighed. Her arm tangled mine without warning. She and her all-black-themed dress bounced as she pivoted back to a disheveled man, panting for air and pouring sweats. "I'm sorry, dear. I'm afraid I'm already taken by this girl right here." And that was the moment, when my prayers was heard. A roleplay to save a fellow woman from a persistent man.

"Dear," I turned to her. "Who was this man again?"

The lady in black blinked twice. Her head tilting up to match the mischievous quirk of her lips. "Oh, he's a friend from work. Quite drunk here, my dear." She leaned in closer, invading my personal space. I respond. "It's a pity," with cracks in my voice that fail to hide my trembling being. I took a moment to muster up courage and say, "You heard the lady, young man. Let go of her."

He lowered his head, gloom soon color his pale skin. "I hope you got demolished by the vampire." His spirit went away as he wandered off, dragging his dejected body. Whoa, he dropped the V-bomb. What did she do to make him burdened with such agony?

I heard her exhale heavily. She took away her arm and keep it to her side, she turned to me with a beaming smile. "Not bad."

I returned the same smile. "Thank you."

Her dark hair spilled over both of her shoulders fairly, straight and voluminous. Her skin is fair and warm to my freezing body. Her eyes were glittering golden rays of the sun, that—I just noticed—it dragged slowly down my body in a leisurely appraisal, lingering in ways that left me light-headed.

"Anything—any explosion or any horror is better than a pretty lady like you wandering aimlessly." She said, her perfect white teeth sank into the plush swell of her bottom lip. I blinked dumbly, red rising up to my face. Her eyes flitting upward, in which I could guess crinkling softly at the corners.

"Uhm, yeah." I stuttered, unsure what to respond to that. "I was on the mood to just observe." I played the top button of my dress and try not to squirm under the mysterious woman's hot, heavy-lidded stare. "Oh," I started. "I didn't catch your name."

One of her arched brows rose. "I didn't throw it." The corner of her mouth rising, devilishly. A hot rush of blood raced to fill my face, leaving the blood on my brain completely dry. A laugh from her made my heart rise into my throat. "Well, what's the name of my hero, tonight?" Her lips quirked, deriving perverse pleasure in my growing flustered manner.

"Y/N."

"Y/N. My hero." My name runs through her mouth, rolled by her tongue, it scattered butterflies everywhere down there. She started to look around, circled a little with her swaying hips, satin skimming the skin of her thigh with each languid step in a direction towards a waiter. She took two glasses of champagne and stopped ahead from me, handing me a glass. "To you, Y/N."

"I don't drink." I send her an apologetic smile, waving off the glass to deny. "Come on, now. Let loose a little." She pressed, forcing my hand to accept the glass. "Please. For me?" She stared up at me with pleading eyes.

I sighed, who would say no to that eyes? "Alright," I hold the glass, brushing against her delicate fingers. "I'm warning you. If I'm drunk, It'll be all your fault. And who knows what will I do." I raised my glass to the air as she clinked it with hers. She gulped down the liquid like it was water while I'm wincing as I took a sip. "I'd take the blame as far to take you home," she smothered a sly smile. "If you're willing."

My breath hitched, almost chocking on my drink. "You don't have to go that far," I cleared my throat. "Yet."

She cocked a brow, satisfied with my reply as she rasped out a laugh. I continued and change that topic for future me to worry about. "What's your name, really?"

"Lady." She said almost immediately.

I arched a brow, "Lady...?" I trailed off, hoping for her to fill in the blanks. "Just call me Lady."

"That's not your real name, is it?"

She shook her head, a smirk lingers on her lips. "At a party like this?" She chuckled as if laughing at my own stupidity. "You're kidding." I said. My fingers twitched, anxiety crept gradually to my sickening stomach.

"A crying shame I didn't pursue a career as a stand-up comedian." She sighed. And I'd like to excuse myself from her, for a moment, the urge to smack my head off against a wall for slipping my real name without more careful consideration is highly tempting to do. "A party like this hardly ever contain originality, dear Y/N."

[lunariamv]

addressing the allegations (read until end :U)

((pic unrelated LOL))

i didn't think i'd have to write about this, but i will just to be sure and for future visitors to my page

these aren't serious allegations; i'm joking but

there was a person who was spamming me on my accounts (and threatening me? lol); they accused me of plagiarism, which is not true

plagiarism is to steal and pass off ideas/words without crediting or acknowledging the source.

definitions used below:

but in all of my stuff i always credit charon is my inspiration; i am not passing off the inspiration as my own

therefore, since i am acknowledging and crediting the original work, it is not plagiarism.

Even then, i draw my own art, i write the dialogue and stuff myself (occasionally i make references to the original but for the most part it is my own words). The assets used for the maps and the music are free to use, and have been used by other rpg maker games not made by charon.

examples:

>the crooked man (uses same map assets)

>the sandman (uses same map assets)

>the original mad father (uses the same music)

>the original misao (uses same map assets)

are these games plagiarizing each other? no

As for the writing/plot; i'm under the belief that in 2024, it's possible everything has been done before;; and since everything has been done before; its not really about being original or not anymore; to me it's about putting things together to make something interesting or entertaining for yourself and other people to enjoy;

kinda like palworld, it's got characters like pokemon but the gameplay is like arc; say what you want about it, but it did really well because people found it fun

you're free to disagree; that's just how i think media is now; lots of shows/games/books take inspiration from each other, and i don't think there's anything wrong with that;;

>the creators of persona 4 like death note, so they borrowed ideas from death note

>league of legends skins take inspiration from anime and video games all the time

>valorant is basically the same game as cs:go and overwatch is pretty much tf2

are these considered plagiarism? i don't think so, and i personally don't care if they are similar; people enjoy them and it brings no real world harm

what i've done is more like a retelling, where it has similar story beats to the original but goes somewhere different similar elements, but overall different enough not to take away from the original

i just felt like addressing this because people nowadays are very quick to judge and spread misinformation, without listening to the other side or doing research

it's depressing, really

i'm not that upset over it because the person who said this completely ignored all of my points when i calmly explained it to them; i have nothing to prove to people who are unreasonable and not willing to listen

you are free to disagree with my perspective, but at least look at the evidence and do diligent research first before accusing people of serious things

and even then if it upsets you, you are free to ignore me; i am a small creator with only like 100 followers on most of my socials; it seems like a waste of time to attack/harass a nobody like me xD

i will take the criticism in stride tho. As i have said before, it is not my intention to replace charon or anything, and eventually i will be diverting my work to be more different

the only similarity will be menhera/yandere stuff, but i focus more on female protagonists and male love interests instead of charon who does the opposite;; so my target audience is different; i wouldn't be affecting charon's bottom line or whatever

so if you are a fan of charon and you want exact same as charon stuff; please dont expect!! the style is similar but i just wanna make horror otome games for the girls LOL

that being said i do understand and i've altered a bit of things so it's more inspiration and looks less similar

(i've changed the ui a bit and i've lessened references for the next game)

please respect my opinion and make your judgement after reading;; you can unfollow/block if you are annoyed or something, it's okay with me; but ty for understanding and taking the time to hear me out

*if someone says something similar, ill just link them this, and if they dont read it; they gettin ignored :U

[kurokonobrainrot]

You probably saw this coming but Akashi for the ship tier list please!

Akashi ships tier list

I WAS WAITING FOR THIS ONE.

From one day to another the tiers S and A are subject to change. It depends on which ships i thought the most about recently i guess.

Nijimura and S tier : I've talk so much about their relationships with Akashi already so i'll focus on the other ships here.

A tier : AoAka lives in my head rent free, the way Aomine has so much faith his Akashi and his ability, the way Akashi is immediately reassured by Aomine's words during Extra game. They're just so great both platonically and romantically.

KiAka is just so good, i wouldn't know how to explain it, but it's just so fluffy and cute. Kise is the kind of person Akashi needs in his life and the reverse is also true. Akashi immediately saw Kise true potential and trusted in his ability to copy all of them and become the perfect player, which is what Kise needed at the time. My brain doesn't want to work right now so i can't explain it more but i love them.

I already talked about AkaMomo a lot but i'm too lazy to look for the post, so here the short version. Momoi has a blind faith in Akashi, not only in the basketball field but with literally everything else. Their interactions are all adorable and Akashi is also the one who discovered Momoi's abilities. They would be an unstoppable ship and the GoM would have to stay friend forever thanks to their combined planning.

The only reason Kise, Aomine and Momoi aren't higher here is because I ship all of them really hard with someone else, so i don't think a lot about their ships with Akashi.

B tier : KagaAka is great, first there is so many similarities between them, they only have their (absent) father, they started playing basketball because it was the only way for them to form bonds with people, they care so much about other people and are basically always like 'What can i do to help you 🥺' with their friends. And their friendship in extra game was really cute. Let's not forget that in the movie, Akashi travelled for ~8 hours during a school day to see Kagami off at the airport.

I already talked about Hayama and Akashi friendship too, and really, everything i said about their friendship would apply to their ship too, they are just really great together.

Same for Riko and Akashi, they would be perfect best friend so of course they would work as a ship too. And their interactions are all super cute even if we don't have a lot of them. Especially in replace +.

C tier : Nebuya is a great friend of Akashi so they would be cute as a ship too. And Ogiwara's discussion with Akashi (which is a lot longer in the manga) has so much potential, but since i haven't looked too deeply into it (yet) they are only in C tier.

* There is no difference between the ships in the same row, meaning if they are both in the same tier no matter where they are on the tier i love them equally (ex MibuAka and MuraAka)

[lutawolf]

Dear Luta, Dom of my heart,

What's the difference between possessiveness and jealousy, in your opinion?

Thank you kindly!

Always subby and never bratty Julia

Hello my lovely subby,

Jealous-Suspecting rivalry in love; troubled by worries that one might have been replaced in someone's affections; suspicious of a lover or spouse's fidelity. Jealous is about something you don't have.

Possessiveness- Pertaining to ownership or possession. Possessive is about something you possess.

That's the simple definition of jealousy. It often comes with a negative connotation, instead of viewed as the complex emotion that we all have. While it can be an uncomfortable emotion to feel, it isn't necessarily bad. Too much of anything can be unhealthy, but a little jealousy is not bad or unhealthy from time to time. Being jealous doesn’t make someone a bad person. It can provide us with important information about our true desires, clues about where we might want to turn our attention, and get motivated.

If taken too far, possessiveness can become a serious issue that leads to other relationship problems. However, a little isn't necessarily negative, and especially not in a relationship in which both parties want it AND there is trust. Look at the definition that I've given above, and then think of a D/s relationship. There absolutely is an element of possessiveness. Generally from both parties and they both agree to it and enjoy different aspects of it.

A lot of normies give negative connotations to both these emotions. Emotions aren't negative, though, they are valuable to knowing ourselves. Only actions are negative and only in situations where it is hurting someone else. It's like how being physically aggressive is negative to many people, but there are several in BDSM who love it. Just because it doesn't work for your relationship doesn't mean it's okay to label it wrong across the board.

The problem with possessiveness only arises when one partner is possessive about the other without consideration of what the other person wants. This is where possessive behavior becomes abusive and unacceptable.

I personally would not be with a partner or consider a friend close if they did not display possessiveness. I have too many hurts and too many walls to waste my time on people who don't value me. Is my time and attention valuable to you? Then prove it.

Example: Any time someone eats with me. Phones get put down and are not touched. This goes for my husband and friends. I'm not jealous of anyone they could be talking to. I am possessive of the time that I have with them.

Possessiveness as a form is a healthy expression of love and care. And submissives who honor possessiveness are simply being respectful.

Hope this was helpful! 💜💜💜

[sirenemale]

Not to have ai art thoughts but I really don't think you can make guides up on spotting ai art, every one ive seen just points out weird anatomy / lighting / clothing folds as the Tell like that's not something all artists do anyway because no one is a master of that and even the rendered styles it trains off aren't flawless by that definition. And unlike the photoreal images that can and will be used for propaganda, ai art stuff you only really need to look at the source to see it's ai, not the art itself. Most ai art people are pretty forefront about it being ai, or it'll be a result from one of those ai sites, or it'll be an art account that has only uncaptioned work in various styles that are clearly not drawn by the same person, right. That's the tell, I don't think anything good will come out of trying to analyze peoples art for strange mistakes when there's a far more surefire way to tell if it's generated or not. Also still goes for the wider issue of people being caught up on what real art is, and the soul of art or whatever or how anyone can do art, which is true but also not, because disability exists and impacts people. When it hits the point where it is pretty and indistinguishable everyone who knows its ai will still use its aesthetic value as the critique, which is just falling back onto real artists these tools were trained off. And while I agree that our individual limitations and experiences are what makes our art unique to us regardless of what we're making, I ljterally just don't think calling the mean average result of uncountable artists "devoid of feeling" is enough of anything.

Like the gigantic issue is the way it's both training off and exploiting artists, and being used to replace them. and the way things are so fast paced now and based on rapid consumption, even if it's not taking the place of people it's still making real people and artists with lives and disabilities and issues compete with a machine that can produce endlessly and within seconds and then be sold just as fast without the complexities of people holding up the pipeline. At this point they're feeding data to data they want the consumer and producers to be growing in a clean statistic way they have something now that doesn't even really need market testing. There's no way for us to keep pace there when it was already hard before it. And while it's easy to joke about it being ugly or mass market slop, and I've done it too obviously there's a lot to rag on, but your core argument can't be that it's just ugly or isn't convincing it leaves you open to the idea that you would turn around on it if the aesthetic of it is Good enough by your standard, which is what these companies already realize that's why they are rapidly improving it 😭😭

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I'm the anon asking if I'm tripping about Tae

The way you expressed yourself made me giggle

For the past 2-3 years..my personality has been being Army

The type of Army who was so butthurt at anyone criticising the guys

The type of Army who just went along with the hive mentality of Bangtan are perfect...not even human...so how dare you....then after dreamers...twitter became too toxic to the point I realized its affecting my mental health and I was like hold up...why is my whole life just about Bangtan when they can literally never do anything of "significance" for you...of course they offer me entertainment,comfort, support,positive emotions etc but like this experience was some type of...you are wasting your youth days by always being chronically online and not doing anything else....it was like a spell was lifted...I was like okay...so if I voice out my opinion on some of the things this fandom does...all they can do is just call me an anti and tell people to.block me...it's like being Army is being hired to always be working 24/7 ....ooooh...you can't claim you're Army if you don't love all 7 of them...it's like when strangers from the Internet tell you you aren't a real Army because you don't subscribe to our bullshit is suddenly the biggest mistake of your life and you cease to exist...the thing that makes me mad at Bangtan is that they are aware how this fandom has been catapulting to so much immaturity that makes them unapproachable if we are honest but they still cater to them and put up a front...

Reading your blogs made me start questioning things and the appeal of treating them like gods just started dissipating....Army loves to make it seem like Bangtan are the top of the top but if you look at it...esp these days(not at all including the solo work so far...I love JITB from start to finish and some songs on Indigo)...is they give us generic content and they know the fans themselves will bully other people to gobble it up...I'd really love to hear them being so deep about their creative processes...after all this enlightenment...the only person whom I can't seem to rid the divine aura is Jimin but he also has a negative side to him...but I think with him..I've come to experience what true unconditional love is...same as JK but JK I've learnt to humanize him in my mind

As for the other members...I love them...they are all so multidimensional....My soul just doesn't like Tae for so many reasons....and when you're from a mindset like mine...I used to feel really guilty for not liking him and I always exaggerated my affection for him on the timeline to somehow mask my dislike...but its been a journey learning how to detach from this toxic mindset and treat them like the human beings that they are....thank you for creating this space where you are so open minded and allow discourse with people who can see through the bs....

I just wonder when they will take responsibility of how their fandom is getting out of hand in a very high rate...Army's are one of the most vile people on twitter and I understand with some things it's needed but damn😭

Chapter two just made me realized I might be a solo stan and not as ot7 as I thought....but thank you for responding to me....I kinda needed that pov to stop making myself feel guilty....but then again...there is no one human being who is perfect....there might be so many grammatical mistakes..I'm sorry 😭💛

I will asssume you're probably aware how this sounds, right? You got out of a cult. Replace army and bts with whatever cult is out there and it would apply.

I know my post hit a nerve. And some others in the past. And I can see that in all the asks in my inbox. Which surprises me, although it shouldn't. Because I'm not the type of person that needs to hear it from others first in order to say something. Maybe it has to do with age, personality, the fact that this is the internet and I really don't give a shit because it's only a small fraction of my life? But others do, which is ultimately, a bit unfortunate. Because it shouldn't be like that. But the fandom at large is so close-minded that those who don't subscribe to the cult mentality or who figure out along the way how absurd it is, are pushed aside and worse. You cannot be part of it if you don't think the same way. It's authoritive and totalitarian and jesus christ, do we need that in a music fandom when the world is as fucked up as it is? Is it worth it? Is it worth it to be misogynistic, to become an informant snitching and gathering information so the small-time leaders of report accounts can do their cancel spread sheet? Is it worth it to doxx people for whatever the fuck reason? Why on earth would anyone want to be a part of that? And then you have the ignorant on purpose army who took to heart "see nothing, hear nothing" and made it their slogan. They don't like "speak nothing" cause they suddenly get a voice when it's time to all say in a choir "all shippers are the same". Spineless people.

Spineless people who the PR job for BTS for free and they love their free labor while they don't stop for one second before buying in massses every little thing the company puts out. A late stage capitalist nightmare.

And about that creative process as a group? Well it's certainly impossible to talk about something in the last few years when they only released subpar music. What would be so deep about Butter when RM managed to say it has fruit vibes? They can complain about feeling burned out and how it wasn't a fruitful period. But they did it and they got a lot of money from those songs. Time to treat them as adults and not just as "our boys".

[terra-feminarum]

Hey this might be a longer question.

So we have VR headsets at work that the employees must take on and off of guests so that the guests don’t mishandle them. Today I was talking to a Muslim lady and she said to me that if I was ever putting a VR set on a lady with a head covering that I should ask her if she’s okay with me possibly touching her covering first and I was like okay yeah fair consent and respect! And then she followed that up with “as a biological male you should ask a woman to put the headset on Muslim women for you.” To which I told her I’m a biological female. And I told her I understand why she’d make the mistake bc I’m very masculine. Anyway I feel like she thinks I’m a transwoman that’s lying to myself and others which makes me feel icky.

I still would probably just not put a headset on a Muslim woman now bc I’m scared she’d be scared about it. Idk I’m so tired of people thinking I’m AMAB. Any advice for how to clear the air when someone assumes this, or was my response good?

Thanks for your question, this is an interesting one! I don't have a simple answer but I'll open my thought process and take what you feel is useful.

I'm going to assume you're a detrans woman even though you didn't state that in your message.

I'm also going to assume not being touched by males is a common boundary for Muslim women - please correct me if I'm wrong.

There are two people who need to be considered: you and a Muslim customer in the future who might assume you're male. You, I assume, have a need to be understood as a woman. She might have the boundary of not being touched by males.

Now I don't know what it's like to have that boundary for religious reasons. Personally I have a similar boundary: I don't want to be touched by males, it makes me feel really uncomfortable. So I emphatize with her.

Then there's the fact that you are female. You aren't male at all. No matter how you look, you are female. I emphatize with you in this: some people assume I'm male. It doesn't feel good.

But are we ourselves at work or are we the perceptions customers and clients have of us? I think the latter is more true. There are usually very little room for nuanced and personal conversations at work. Personally it would make me more comfortable to just assume some clients might assume I'm male and act accordingly if a certain client has a boundary about men touching her. It's a false assumption about you, but it's a fleeting situation. Is it more important she feels like her boundaries are respected or that you feel your identity is validated? Your sex doesn't need validation - you are female. So it's just a misunderstanding.

This feels complicated, still. For example I would be way more uncomfortable about this if the person assumed to be male was just a very masculine woman who had never been on T. At that point it would be just homophobic to refuse to recognize her womanhood, right? Personally I've found some kind of peace with accepting that the permanent effects of my transition will affect how people will see me and it's unreasonable of me to expect all people can comprehend a woman with a deep voice and no breasts. I will expect people who I care about to listen to me. But strangers, not really. I'm just a side character in their story, not myself.

About your response to the customer you had: I think it was good. I would've probably said the same thing. If someone tells you they think you're a male you are definitely allowed to say you're not. But I would probably have the same fear as you do: do people think I'm a trans woman who lies to people? It's a very uncomfortable thought.

One way to avoid uncomfortable situations is to do as the previous client told: ask other female employees to replace you when there's a customer who is a Muslim woman. Not because you are male in any way, but because you don't want to cause an uncomfortable situation to you or her, and you can also explain this to your coworkers. Another route is to do it yourself but ask first: tell that some people have mistaken you for a man in the past but you assure you're a biological female and ask if would the customer be fine with you helping her with the VR set. The third option is to say nothing you wouldn't say to other customers and assume the customer will say if she thinks you're a man and then you can explain.

I think the most important thing is to ask yourself: which of these options cause you the least stress? And also: what do you think about other people's boundaries? What do you think about if someone believes a boundary is broken when it really isn't but it just seems like it?

It's easier to bear these kind of awkward situations if you're in a good place otherwise and have enough support. I know a lot of detrans people talk about not caring how they're perceived but for most people it's important that enough people understand who we really are. So to help you cope with situations like these, it's important you have people in your life who understand you're a female and it might be good if some co-workers also knew you are a female and sometimes weird situations like these happen to you. It would be less lonely to be able to laugh with a co-worker about how you're being male again so they need to replace you temporarily.

My answer might have been a bit different if your question wasn't about some other person's boundaries but just a simple misunderstanding. While I think it's stressful - at least for me - to try to control other people's perceptions of me at all times, you're allowed to explain your situation. For a long time I wondered about all kind of excuses I might use for my appearance. But lately I've come to the conclusion that if I actually want people to understand, I can just tell them what detransition means. In a lot of situations this is too lengthy and I just let people assume whatever but when I feel like it, I might explain my situation honestly. There's nothing shameful in being detrans.

[writingawaymylife]

queer is a slur, but it's also an identity, like those two things can be true at the same time. I'm glad you've never seen/heard it used as a slur directed at you but that doesn't change the fact that lots of people /have/

Yes, Queer has been used as a slur. The word Queer originally meant that something was peculiar or different.

However, it was also used by gay men quite comfortably as well. Queer was another category within gay culture; like how the terms twink and bear are now sometimes used to refer to a specific kind of gay man. In all actuality the usage of the word to predominantly mean something negative and disreputable only began to pick up mainstream popularity around the 1930's or 1940's, though the words negative usage towards gay and of people was thought to have established its roots in the 19th century, alongside gay subcultures adoption of the term.

This is where the term eventually started to lose its popularity amongst gay men. Just like it is with many different labels attached to identities, new words came up and began to be used by later generations, and Gay became the more popular term. In actuality, it was Gay men who started pushing the word Queer into a more negative light, far more than mainstream media. Because they didn't want to identify with it, and didn't want the word to be used for them. Furthermore, some of these Gay men are who officially turned the word into a slur, and often times the distaste for the usage of Queer was rooting in toxic masculinity. Queer mean "effeminate" and they didn't want to be seen as anything other than masculine men.

You can even look at the history of the words presences within the Webster dictionary. Where the word developed from its original meaning and eventually turned to just be used to refer to homosexuality. Which, isn't negative. There is no negative context to that.

But the word has been used by generations. And as it began to regain popularity within what we would not call the LGBTQ2+ community, it slowly changed its meaning and turned into an umbrella term that anyone within the community can use.

When it comes to the word Queer both sides need to be acknowledged within our community, and I won't bend on that. There are people who will see the word as meaning something negative, or who simply won't connect with it, and by all means then don't use the word, there is nothing wrong with that. However, there is also a very large portion of the LGBTQ2+ community that do use that word, and some who even connect with it more than any other that they have access to.

There are many words that are perceived as taboo or "wrong" by people within the community, who don't take into account the people who do use those words. Think transsexual. I know my friends don't like using that word, and I respect that, but I also find myself using it to refer to myself just as much as I use Transgender, and the only word I use more than those is Queer.

Words and their meaning change. Get thrown out and replaced. Come back into usage. That's just how it works.

Lastly, I want to say that assuming I have not had the word used against me with negative intentions is genuinely foolish. I've had Queer, Gay, F*g, F**got, Tr*anny all used against me in attempts to make me feel pain. Yet I still use all those when referring to me. Gay has been used as a slur for many people, and it did have a history as being a slur just as it begant to be used as a label (seeing the pattern here?), and I still use it. Of course there is no fighting about the other words, those are certainly slurs, though I still use them when referring to myself and my group of friends often call each other those words, even though we acknowledge the fact that they were and are slurs.

But Queer and Gay are my words. They aren't meant for people filled with pathetic hatred and ignorance. And they can try all they want to take them from me but it isn't working. Queer is who I am.

[yushiteru]

DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE WAY NCTZENS TREAT RIIZE LIKE MORE OF A NCT UNIT THAN WISH the amount of tweets i’ve seen in the past days that are saying riize should’ve been the nct unit / being shady towards wish really made me realise how not even NCTZENS got wish’s back :/ and fhe only reason i can come up with aside from the unit stuff is because they’re a specifically a japanese unit, i mean the same happened with wayv for a while where majority didn’t acknowledge them because they technically weren’t kpop. idk i wouldn’t have such a issue with not stanning or unit stans if nctzens didn’t actively try to erase and ignore the existence of them as an nct unit like no one is forcing you to stan them but to act like they’re not the new nct unit or an nct unit at all is just WILD

and heavy on that last part, wish is practically filled with nctzens, ryo is literally the biggest nct fan, and they’ve done multiple covers of nct songs and stated their wish to get closer to the other members but nahhhh we gotta consider the seperate group nct 😂🙏

+ omg sorry for the coke rant i just can’t comprehend how you can hate these little fellas… it’s okay wishes I CARE FOR YOU 💗

LMAO but no yeah seriously, it hurts my heart whenever i see nctzens ask who they are like please we only have each other. and from what i've gathered, the main backlash and denial of wish seems to be from the feeling that they "replaced" sungtaro, which is just honestly a personal problem at this point that these people need to work through because riize is their own group. i think it also stems from how poorly managed sungtaro were when they were in nct, and this hate towards wish now is some kind of bitterness or resentment that sungtaro never got their own true spotlights under a fixed nct unit. but obviously, that has nothing to do with the wishies and the anger is completely displaced.

the problem with having a rookie unit is that everyone is so fiercely protective of the success and legacy of the existing units, and some people aren't so willing to welcome rookies into the already established group, who they think are essentially mooching off of the neo name. add that to the fact that the majority of nctzens seem to be at least 20 years old, and with the fandom skewing from older millennial to the youngest of gen z, maybe early gen alpha, i can see how some nctzens don't want to associate with the younger crowd. most wishzens already seem to be around sion's age or older (me included lol).

on the other hand, despite them being japanese, i think its actually been quite a pleasant surprise how well the korean fandom has taken to wish? the most popular members are the japanese members [yushi, riku, sakuya in that order] i think sm has done a good job with the way they promote them in korea, and specifically, not focusing the majority of their promotions in japan the way that some japanese kpop groups do, such as &team, because japanese broadcast and media laws are very restrictive and oftentimes results in the groups not being able to really expand their audience beyond japan. wishies have really taken off in korea and have attracted new fans to nct, especially other sm fans who aren't nctzens, and a large part of that i think is due to their sound. which is what sets them apart from wayv's struggle as a unit.

the way wayv were treated as "secondary class" to the other units was really sad, and i think they really just had all the odds stacked against them with not having any korean members (an advantage wish has), kr general public's sinophobia, the hallyu ban in china, their hiatus, china just being the least accessible... plus wish's concept is resonating more with the current trends and this generation of kpop fans, which is why wish have done far better than wayv and why, i think, a lot of weishennies feel like their favs are competing for the resources and the spotlight with the wishies now.

but with all that said, wish have been doing super well considering everything, and i'm so glad to see at least the korean fandom taking well to them. i was a huge 127zen back in like 2016-2020, and wish have definitely brought back out not only the nctzen in me, but also just the fangirl in me. i just hope more nctzens come around and i hope sm lets wish start reaching out to a global audience soon because there's definitely a lack of an int'l fanbase... but that should all come with time.

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2024 MOVIE LIST

www.tumblr.com/theharpermovieblog

🎃HALLOWEEN 2024🎃

I watched The Crazies (1973)

The alternate title to this one is "Code Name: Trixie", which sounds less like a horror film and more like a soft core porn about secret agents.

A plane crash in a small town leads to some of the local population becoming violent, causing the government to do everything necessary to take control of the situation.

I grow more fond of George Romero's work as I get older. I've always loved his original "Dead" trilogy, but as I've aged I've noticed the true talent in his films

"Creepshow", "Martin", "The Dark Half" and "Knightriders" all come to mind when thinking of Romero's best work. They aren't all perfect, but they offer a lot. Taken together they show a filmmaker who can easily create an entertaining popcorn flick, but who can also tell a more slow paced and intelligent story.

"The Crazies" has plenty of social commentary, but it's definitely secondary to the pacing. Romero wastes no time getting into the action. It starts with a couple of little kids in danger. They're caught up in what seems to be a domestic situation. Something is wrong with their father. That small, isolated situation quickly blows up into madness, soldiers and...well...a bunch of crazies.

At first, this movie feels a bit like an alternate version of one of Romero's "Dead" films. Zombies are replaced with men and women going violently insane, but it's otherwise pretty similar. There's a chemical cause to why people are going crazy, there's shady government intervention, there's a ticking clock, and people attempting to escape the danger of a world gone mad. However, the film then focuses much more on the government solution to the problem. The villain is quickly revealed to be the people put in charge of securing the town. The dangerously crazed citizens are simply the inciting incident and feature less prominently than soldiers ordered to kill and helicopter shoot outs.

"The Crazies" isn't nearly as good as Romero's original "Dead" trilogy, and it's not pure horror in the sense of ghouls and ghosts. However, it is a gem of 1970's genre films.

At the time, Romero was pushing the envelope. He was showing plenty of blood, showing children getting hurt, showing an American community torn apart, and showing the true horror of how American citizens are often considered expendable by their own government.

Maybe it's not the best Halloween flick, and it might not be the thrill it once was, but "The Crazies" still has a lot of life left in it.

[hopeididntscareyou]

Taking other people down just to stay in power is something that has been done since the ancient times. That's just how politics works.

And you are allowed to feel the way you do when you were WRONGED. I completely disagree with all these forgiveness bullshit.

In my observation, people who preach about forgiveness and kindness are the most deluded I've ever met and all of them have not done any inner work and just in general self-reflection. It's like they just do things because its the norm and will give you the most basic logic they can think of. Its especially retarded when they expect you to forgive people who aren't remorseful at all or has not changed

That being said, I've learned so many disturbing stuff that exists and I would say that any human being is capable of doing acts of kindness, even murderers, rapists or the most vile and depraved out there. People harm others because they were harmed themselves. Being a psychopath and devoid of feelings is not cool. All it just means is you have mental illness as a result of blocked trauma. Of course, it doesn't excuse bad behavior, but I just don't buy it when people says someone is pure "evil" and just generally dehumanize a person. Sure they do evil things but nobody is born evil. Ok i get it you are angry for a reason that's understandable but no, the person who hurt you is not a demon. And again, you don't have to forgive them, I also don't buy it when someone says they forgave someone. I bet they just say that to feel better about themselves and to prove that they're the "bigger" person, that or they think they can only move on if they replace hate with love or indifference, so they're suppressing their true and genuine feelings in the process and replace it with delusion which is basically "dissociation". At the end, they still suffer because of their unaware trauma response. The thing is you can move on with your life without forgiving them because you're allowed to have the feelings that you do. it is just up to you if you're going to make your life dysfunctional until you die just because you're hurt.