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#which is so weird me? it's weirdo shit???
vicsmusehub · 6 months
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I don't think I'll ever forgive either the art community on deviant or the tumblr rpc for making me feel like my characters, specifically my fem characters, were "mary-sues," or "overpowered" or boring. Especially as a black person.
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wulvercazz · 7 months
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🤭 having 🍼thoughts🍼 pls enjoy✨
// lactation , adult breast feeding , possible mpreg if you want to think there is ?? / omegaverse also possible??? or just because tbh, Ichigo being a boob man
thinking about Grimm’s milky tibbies 🫢💦 also thinking about Ichigo going feral over them, quite literally. starts as teasing and touching like he always does, until the tiniest drop has him suddenly ravenous.
it’s pretty much the first conscious thing Ichigo’s tasted that’s of hollow nature; the hollow blood in him is singing.
…the hollow that’s outwardly interacting with the world is growling possessively around his teat when Grimmjow asks what the fuck he’s doing.
Ichigo pawing at him as if Grimmjow’s both prey and mate after the first accidental taste, is not a feeling he’s ever considered, or believes he can enjoy for that matter.
but there’s no taking Ichigo away from his meal right now, is there? suckling away with dazed, inked, eyes that are almost glowing golden; sharper clawed hands half kneading, half pulling at Grimmjow’s whole ribcage.
Grimmjow would be pissed if only the feeling of him didn’t stir him so; if only the little pervert wasn’t absentmindedly humping away at his groin as he fed.
all he can really do is awkwardly pat Ichigo’s head with annoyance and the most uncomfortable arousal he’s ever felt;… and bark a warning growl of his own at the aggressive little shit his mate has turned into on top of him when he growls again under his touch.
he might just start scruffing the fuck out of Ichigo, he might allow this, for now— but the feral Vasto is on thin fucking ice.
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linterteatime · 3 months
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Not to be rude, but I just read your bio, and did you not draw Chasriel nsfw? I checked and it seems as though you've gotten it taken off of e621 in the last few months, which is good, but I'm a little curious if you're hypocritical now and just trying to hide it, or you've stopped drawing such things entirely.
WTFFF BRUHHH I HAVE NEVER MADE NSFW IN MY LIFE!!! BUT ALSO CHASRIEL IS FUCKING GROSS!!!!! EWWW THOSE ARE SIBLINGS AND ALSO KIDS,,,,, WITH WHO TF ARE YOU CONFUSING ME WITH TOO???HUHH??? AND WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS e621????
ALSO WHY ARE YOU CALLED LIKE THAT, IM NOT TURNING EVER ANON BACK ON IF IM GOING TO GET THINGS LIKE THIS LMAO
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popstart · 2 months
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the moment people stop being comically against courtney is the day i stop making fun of them for being weird and wrong. stop being weird about a fictional character in ways that are hilariously stupid and ill stop calling you hilariously stupid
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flwrblue-bella · 9 months
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the funny thing about my relationship with my boyfriend is that, outwardly, people would never think he's a freak. they look at us and see the most regular, unassuming, jock-looking, handsome guy in the world dating this dyed-black-hair, beetlejuice-ass-character bitch that i present myself as and logically think "ah yes, she is clearly the domesticated gremlin of that particular situation"
they would, of course, be painfully wrong, because that man is as much of a weirdo as i am. his mind palace is much more strange and disarming than anything i could come up with, and i'm half convinced he just put on an extra 60 pounds of muscles to throw people off his freak-scent
last night for example, he calmly relayed to me that sometimes when we're making out a bit more intensely, he likes to think of how we're actually just one big digestive system, connected through our mouths, which he thought was a very romantic thought.
understandably, i had to prod his brain a little, so i asked "honey. honey. why are you regularly daydreaming about us being human-centipeded together" and he asked me what the plot of the human centipede was, because, again, he likes to pretend he is a regular person and doesn't watch a lot of horror movies. i tried to explain to him what the story of the movies was about, while largely trying to emphasize how it was a little unusual that our most passionate moments of intimacy would unpromptedly conjure in his mind the same thought process as that of a psychotic german doctor who wanted to kidnap people and sew their mouths to each other assholes
and then he, with the biggest, shiniest, bluest eyes in the world, frowned at me and said "well, but they weren't in love", firmly establishing that he thinks that the main problem of the acts committed throughout the human centipede trilogy were upsetting solely due to the lack of true love between the humans who were centipeded
so yeah i'm planning to father his children
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b4kuch1n · 8 months
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good luck w the testing and a happy early new year!!
thank you it's already happened when this was sent but we all did get one free point for the listening section bc the audio fucked up and we didn't get to hear the part with the last question's answer. but I will now think this is luck borrowed from the future when this ask was sent
#bakuspeech#ask#I tweeted a storm inbetween the written competencies (morning) and the speaking test (afternoon) lmao#but its on my wretched personal acc so it's for me. it's just for me#I dressed. and this is not me being unkind to myself. like a mister bean character to that test. like I got a woolen suit jacket on#with the dress shoes of mismatched laces. AND Ive been bald recently#honest to gods can Not tell how well I did in the written tests. like I finished all of them with at least ten minutes to spare#but it's because they kept putting a giant timer on the projector screen and it scared me so bad. delf trauma#the content of the test itself I straight up. dont know if its any good#the thing with me. that u can probably tell by idk looking at me and hearing me talk and stuff. is that I speak english but I am#VERY bad at tests#which makes any formalized english testing for me extremely fucking funny#and like it's supposed to be in the same structure as an ielts set of questions and apparently that means#they kept asking me to confirm or deny that the author of the text agrees with the statements they got in the questions#and I was sitting there like okay you made me read about weird phrenology shit and then you ask me this?? like are we asking#textual or contextual or. how deep into the rhetorics are we talking here. cause two of these three authors are certified weirdos#(yes the reading segment had three texts. one was about physiognomy and how there was definitely a grain of truth in there#one was about tea - this is the inconspicuous one - and the last one was about the potentials of toxinology#with a general vibe of pseudomedicine zeal to its writing. it's probs from a family magazine or something)#so straight up yeah I can defend my quiz answers to a judge but that does Not mean it's gonna be the one on the answer sheet yknow#kinda the same with the writing segment. where like they gave me an extremely easy to expand on subject and then a piece of paper#the length of a receipt. and that just. I could NOT parse the expectation of that setup#like I saw that and was like. so do you want me to do it badly? or do it so excellently I deliver all I think in like 100 words or less?#cause I'm capable of one of those things and the distinction is important here#and like. yes I know it's a language aptitude test. they're looking to know if I speak english#and I Have done something like this before multiple times just with a different language. but that was. idk I have never had a ladder here#I know I speak the language. YOU can probably tell I speak the language. would this test's result reflect that? I don't know!#it's a baffling experience. I'm still thinking about it the day after. tldr it's really not about the english for me it's about the testing#it's so. it's reflected so clear in the listening test where I missed an entire question (other than the one they gave us for free) bc#my brain just noped out of my body for three seconds and when I yanked it back the tape's already moved on
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shopcat · 1 year
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what does that even MEAN steve and nancy aren't even together in canon how the fuck is it getting in the way of anything. be for real.
anyone genuinely saying a random [m/f] couple gets in the way of [f/f or m/m] couple with absolutely no other context is being too fandompilled for my liking .. for some reason i think they think misogyny trumps homophobic intent subconscious or not half the time too lol like...? like yeah the entire phenomena of a random female character being hated bc she quote unquote stands in the way does absolutely happen and it is just absolutely NOT the case for these characters ?? 😭 they've been apart longer than the length of their entire (highschool) relationship she is not in the "way" and he is not in HER way which is weird phrasing ANYWAY it is absolutely wild how people think they're being the feminists of the century defending nancy's right to exist comfortably in fandom and then entirely again and again reduce her to Steve's Love Interest even when they're trying to DEFEND her from those Damn homosexuals... shakes fist at sky
also this might be meaner but i don't know why people have nancy-specific short term memory loss or even a lack of their OWN opinion .. but st4ncy was never the most popular pairing and they have existed apart in other pairings or individually for a While now 😭. and people have liked them not being together or just being friends long before even the INCEPTION of r0nance or st3ddie. before s4 steve's most popular pairing other than that other well known gag test was platonic stobin and hanging with the kids. they're not even the most popular pairing containing both steve and nancy LMFAO st0ncy is 😭. it's literally not that serious i don't like st4ncy because i just don't think they're good together i want them both to be single. i want them both to be single. i like st3ddie because i have a soul and can understand truths and am a gay person. i think r0nance can be cute i also don't mind j4ncy. it is not because i think nancy is an evil cunt who is stealing steve away with her womanly wiles literally no one thinks that but the delusional stannies and weirdos. i also think nancy Again gets reduced too much to her love interest and while she is not my favourite character (neutrally) her being single is my ideal outcome for s5 which is also not a negative statement. it is literally a happy ending for me like i'd be thrilled. bc she deserves to thrive by herself and repair the platonic and familial relationships that got taken from her and deserves to be more than who she's DATING. but if she's dating a woman in (ugh) fanon at least it's VERY interesting to me that people seem to really really really hate that. and people should be more careful with their phrasing. and i think steve's gay so who cares and What the fuck else matters like this is not serious. anyway
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hickoryhorneddevils · 11 months
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think i kind of hate m/cr now actually.
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tiercel · 1 year
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Tbh 90% of the weird mean spirited posts i see on here are authored by tphobes/cryptos i think people need to think a little harder on what most of these people actually mean rather than the surface level understanding of it
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mirage-coordinator · 2 years
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post about how censorship is a dangerous thing, and that throwing out “what if a CHILD saw this?” about things you don’t like is parroting conservative rhetoric (because it’s true, some things are going to be uncomfortable, and will make you uncomfortable, but should not be forbidden on the grounds of that discomfort)
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it’s some stupid fuckwit covertly arguing that actually, they shouldn’t have to face any criticism for posting their shitty incest fanfic under the guise of a take that any average person would think is perfectly reasonable (they’re idiots who put that shit out in public and are not immune to people pointing out Hey That’s Weird)
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#roarkposting#you cannot have a goddamn conversation about censorship on this website!#people who's kneejerk reaction to discomfort is 'this should not be allowed in any form ever'#will go well yes. CONSERVATIVE censorship is bad but mine is different and only the stuff *i* don't like#and then#people who are way too into incest and adult/minor shit and think you are being mean to them for calling them a fucking weirdo about it#will think you're on THEIR side. you are NOT associated with me!#none of the 'i just like Dark Themes in fiction' crowd mean it they just think that if they call their like. fucking#harry potter incest shit 'dark fiction' that suddenly makes it Not Weird and Above Criticism#i studied literature i have read and written about some incredibly fucked up works of fiction#they are Good and they do not always spell out 'hey this form of abuse was Bad and Evil' because they don't HAVE to. gotta use ur brain#something which. ironically. these ppl do not seem interested in doing#they much prefer digging in their heels and going nuh uhhhhh you're just being Mean for No Reason#i'll die on the hill of 'if you say loser shit like puriteens you are arguing in bad faith' because it is such a stupid fucking thing to say#sorry for Poasting about this again it just frustrates me to no end because. God#i am so sick of people with awful opinions disguising their shit (BC THEY KNOW THEY R NOT IN THE RIGHT!) as something that seems#perfectly sensible and outright reasonable on the surface
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elwolfen · 7 days
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I wonder if my dad is fucking dead rn
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queenerdloser · 1 month
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"how to make your character more likable" "where do you rate likability when you think about characters" "top 20 likable characters" "likability is so important for books" "your characters absolutely must be likable or your book is a failure" "how to make unlikable characters in a likable way" i hate it here i hate it so much. i am going to rip out the throat of likability culture with my own teeth.
#it's coming to the point where i cant even handle the term 'likable'#no!!!! shut up!!!!!!#the fixation on character likability is genuinely such a bad trend for fiction#im sorry. but if you only care about whether your readership will like your characters youve lost in some way#make believable characters. make complex characters. make insane characters. make weird characters. make heartbreaking characters.#but my god stop thinking so much about if your characters are likable.#who! gives! a! shit!#the reality is some people will love or hate your character based on literally nothing than their own subjective opinion#there is no way to make a character likable to everyone. or even most people.#so just dont care about that! and we as readers really gotta stop making this the number one thing to care about in a character#i dont give a fuck if a character is likable or not. are they complex? are they a little weirdo i can rotate around in my mind for days?#do they have motivations and dreams and heartbreaks? do they feel like a real person?#all of those metrics matter 10000x more to me than if i personally like them or not.#there are perfectly unoffensive bland ass characters who exist to be likable and are boring in literally every other aspect#if you focus on likability you have to sand so many edges off of your characters#they cannot be mean or offensive or rude or harsh or weak or vulnerable or or or#bc! they have to be LIKABLE! which means they can only be strong powerful perfect lovable#wrote my own post bc i saw poll results about if characters needed to be likable and blacked out with rage lmao
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maipareshaan · 5 months
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Tantrums* i mean
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vampiricgf · 4 months
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☆ FAVORITE GIRL
ᝰ you think he's just another frat boy with meaningless flirty words for the person he sits next to in a boring class (he's down horrendous)
frat boy satoru x f!reader, college au, somewhat established relationship you guys are classmates, sfw no smut, alcohol consumption, cigarette smoking, just lots of him being an idiot with a massive huge earth shattering crush <3
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"And how's my favorite girl?"
"Worse, thought you'd skip this class again and we'd have some peace." You roll your eyes as you slide the straps of your backpack over the back of your chair.
Satoru Gojo, nuance Sig Ep and unfortunately glued to your side since the first day of statistics for reasons unknown to you. You'd made an effort to avoid members of greek life on campus, not wanting to get involved in party culture or whatever new dramatics were unfolding with its subgroups. That only seemed to encourage him though, casually throwing his arm around you through the duration of lectures and begging in that whining tone of his for you to come by the house.
You never did, you also pointedly ignored most of his text messages and actively regretted ever having to give him your phone number after the one assignment you'd been paired up for. Outside the occasional drunk text where he'd plead for you to show up, which did make you feel both bad for ignoring him and a little high off the attention. Not that you'd ever admit to clicking your phone lock and grinning to yourself in bed on those nights.
"C'mon, I'm the highlight of your day!" He shoots you that signature megawatt smile and you stick out your tongue at him, scooting your chair in the opposite direction and creating a wide gap as you sit down.
You see him frown and for a half second it looks genuine, making a pang of guilt reverberate through you so you scoot back to where you were and he resumes pestering you with some latest escapade in the Eps house as you both wait for the stream of students to peter off and the lecture to begin.
"Hey so, why you been ignoring my texts?" He pulls a pout and god you wish it wasn't actually cute.
"You send me weird combinations of emojis Gojo, what can I say to that?"
"It's Satoru," he quips almost immediately, barely allowing you to finish.
"Alright, Satoru, it's because you send me weirdo shit. Say hi every once in a while and maybe I'll say it back." You shrug, opening your laptop and preparing yourself to block out his incessant whispering for the next hour while you take down notes.
~
"You actually came!"
The sheer volume in the cramped, would-be living room of the house made you wince in tandem with his shout as Satoru threw an arm around you.
"I'm just humoring you so you stop bugging me!" You shout back, accepting a cup of god knows what from his hands and already formulating a plan of when it would be polite to bow out for the night without a barrage of where'd you go texts.
He doesn't answer you, too busy immediately yelling at some other guy over the volume of the music but you don't miss the way his hand slides down your back to settle at the lower curve, just above your ass. It makes you smile a little, despite your own misgivings about the scene you're in.
But quickly it becomes too much, being jostled by a permanently sweaty and horny crowd in such a cramped space, and you find yourself drifting outside to a patio sparsely populated with only a handful of smokers. The alcohol buzzing inside your brain makes you crave one, a thick, acrid stream of smoke spreading like thick flower petals blossoming inside your lungs.
One girl catches your eye and slowly you meander over to where she's perched, away from the rest on a railing that's seen one too many coats of poor paint jobs.
"Could I bum one off you?"
"You got a dollar?"
Lamely you pat your hips, absentmindedly searching for one until she lets out a soft laugh and extends the pack in her hand out to you. Marlboro lights, the gold top of it shimmers faintly in the dim light as you slide one out and accept the lighter she passes you.
"I tell myself lights mean I'm working on quitting. What a load of shit." She huffs out a laugh to herself as you flick the lighter and it gives a few sparky coughs before the flame catches, burning the tip of the cigarette into a solid ember cherry.
"I'm Ieiri," she says cordially as you hand back the deep purple lighter.
You give her your name before taking a deep drag of the cigarette, enjoying the feeling of it settling in your chest.
"They should invent a kind of cigarette that doesn't kill you." You say absentmindedly and she cracks a smile.
"Too bad the "healthy " cigarettes of ye old days had asbestos in them."
That makes you laugh, enjoying the way it flows into the air with the breeze that plays against your skin, like a lover running fingers over it and giving you gooseflesh.
"Wait, you're the girl Satorus got statistics with right? Tuesdays and Thursdays?" She asks between puffs, flicking ash off into the dark.
"Yeah, the very same. I figured I should finally take him up on the offer to come over, I've blown him off so many times." Saying out loud makes you feel a little like an ass, he may get on your nerves but he's never been anything but sweet to you.
"You know he's like, obsessed with you, right?" She says with another laugh and it makes you raise a brow.
"Oh yeah?"
She shakes her head, another drag before continuing. "Oh yeah. Gets too drunk every weekend and cries in the bathroom because you didn't show, has a crisis every day because he doesn't know what to say to you in texts. I've never seen him excited about a math course before this semester either, usually it's any excuse to cut class until a prof bitches at him."
With every word a strange sense of giddiness grows in tandem with the alcohol drenching your brain, and you can't help but think about those devastating blue eyes. The opposite of rose colored glasses but it fits, a shade of comfortable blue that tints the world because of him and suddenly you're gripped by the urgent need to go back inside and find him.
"Hey, thanks for the cigarette but I'm gonna go find him. See you inside?" You crush the butt out with the toe of your shoe, grinding it down and giving Ieiri a wave goodbye as the wall of thumping bass and neon light swallows you back up.
It strikes you as incredible how a house can turn into a labyrinth when filled to the brim with bodies and only offering the occasional flash of strobe or neon lights to guide you in the dark. After when feels like hours and checking nearly every room you come across for Satoru, without luck, you find Ierie once again leaning against a closed door with a particularly bored expression.
"Satoru she wasn't saying she was leaving she said she was coming to find you, dummy. Open the door."
As you sidled up beside her she shot you a conspiratorial glance before pulling you closer so you could hear her over the din.
"Can you tell him you're right here? He's such a whiny drunk." She rolls her eyes but you can tell it's playful, although you get the feeling this has happened more than once.
Hesitantly you put your palm against the door, feeling the distant bass thrumming through the wood. "Hey Satoru? I didn't leave, I'm right out here with Ierie!"
There's silence on the other side, making you frown in concern until the door is suddenly wrenched open and you nearly fall right against him. Despite clearly being drunk his hands come to grasp your upper arms gently to steady you before yanking you inside the hazy dark of what you assume was his bedroom.
"You're welcome!" You hear Shoko yell through the door as he sits down in a huff, still holding onto you, against a well worn futon.
You can't help but giggle at the way he almost curls around you, as if determined to attach to your side like some sort of sucker fish. With a bit of wiggling you manage to pull back, sweeping a few stray strands of hair from those baby blues as you do.
It's in that moment, when your fingertips brush his skin, that everything seems to pause. The noise outside seemingly vanishes, and it's like only the two of you exist in a comfortable bubble of silence. You never really noticed how his eyes looked almost crystalline before, too pretty to exist.
"Who gave you eyes like that?" You murmur, more to yourself but nevertheless he beams down at you.
"So you do like me, huh?"
The way he says it, so boyish, so... happy. You can't help but smile back, a shy thing that barely tugs at the corners of your lips.
"Duh, of course I do."
That makes him frown a bit, brows knitting in thought and somehow it made him look even cuter. No fair.
"Then how come you never showed up before? And you don't text me back?" A little pout forms on his lips as he finishes and you're struck with the overwhelming urge to kiss him.
With a superhuman effort you keep yourself focused on answering him. "You're, well... All this," you gesture broadly with your hands as you pull away slightly. "And I'm just a girl you have stats with. I thought maybe you were just yanking me around, being flirty in class but that's it, you know? I didn't wanna look stupid getting my hopes up."
"A girl I have stats with? You're joking, right? You're everything." He says incredulously, eyes wide as if more shocked than insulted that you could've looked at the situation that way.
Heat rushes beneath your skin at that, you're everything, and you know it's not the alcohol making you lightheaded. In your silence he continues.
"Y'know I'm not just messing around with you, I think about you all the time. Sometimes you're all I think about all day-"
With a surge of confidence you grab him by the front of his shirt, pulling him down and cutting him off with your lips pressed against his. It grips you like a fever, a crushing need to taste him. It's all sloppy teeth and tongues and spit but it feels perfectly serendipitous at the same time, an otherworldly calm that takes hold of your mind as your lips move against one another.
As you open your eyes into his you can't help the grin that now stretches wide across your mouth, giggling as you press kiss after kiss against his lips, his cheeks, his forehead and soon enough he's dissolved into a puddle of giggles and faux pouts in your arms.
"Will you tell me I'm your favorite girl again?"
"I'll tell you that forever."
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vaspider · 7 months
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Look. A little advice.
Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.
You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.
This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.
But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'
You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)
The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'
That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:
Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.
Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.
If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.
Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.
Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.
You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.
youtube
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scoops-aboy86 · 2 months
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Steve as a late night radio DJ, with Robin as his producer (because my partner has made me watch so much Frasier lol). He's got the sexy voice and Eddie, frontman of successful metal band Corroded Coffin, still remembers him from Hawkins and, ugh.
But, well, his manager set up the interview and it would cause more of a stir to no-show than it would to turn up and bicker with some washed up former high school bully. It's a different city, a different decade; maybe King Steve won't even remember him.
So Eddie turns up, and he actually beats Steve there. To the point of the show starting and it's just him in the booth, chatting awkwardly with Robin to fill the air. It gets less awkward the more they talk, idly catching up on old small town bullshit and what it's like to go from isolated baby queers ("I thought I was totally alone!" "Really? You didn't clock the black bandana hanging out of my pocket for five of my six years in high school?" "Sorry old timer, I was still in middle school for part of that." "Oh fuck off, Ms. 'I went to Sarah Lawrence and all I got was this awesome girlfriend.'" "Sorry Eddie, we can't all be super late bloomers like you.") to Actually Successful And Functioning Adults. (She's kind enough not to mention his single but unfortunately well known brush with rehab, other than to congratulate him on his seven year chip.)
And then Steve bursts in, huffing and puffing and diving for the headphones and mic to apologize to both them and the audience for being late. He doesn't even try to offer an excuse until Robin asks, "Uh, Steve? Want to share with us why your arm's in a sling and one of your eyebrows looks like it got flambéd right off your face?"
Which turns into a very put-upon but entertaining retelling of Dustin Henderson ("Oh damn, Henderson! I fell outta touch with him ages ago. How is that little shit?" "Married. He didn't end up converting to Mormonism, but they still have enough kids to make up half a basketball team." "Is that... a lot?" "Six, Munson. They have six kids." "Which is funny, because he made soooo much fun of Steve for wanting that many back in the day." "Yeah. Showed him." "Fuck, my condolences to his wife if they all inherited his big head. You gotta give me his number after this. Or—DUSTIN, if you're listening to your babysitter's show, come to my next concert and there'll be two backstage passes with your name on it! Or, well, that embarrassing nickname your radio girlfriend used to call you, since I think I've blurted out your full government name by now." "That girlfriend is actually his wife now." "No shit?! Wow, I can't believe one of my little lost sheepies has managed to keep the same girl for over a decade. Is she really hotter than Phoebe Cates?" "Oh, she is smokin." "Robin, don't make it weird." "Oh it's okay, she already knows. I told her.") ... A very put-upon but entertaining retelling of Dustin Henderson coming over to discuss plans for Ma Henderson's birthday, and bringing a cherries jubilee that Suzie had made so he could literally demonstrate the flambé presentation ("Listeners, I swear I did not know, when I asked Steve about his flambéd eyebrow, that it was a literal flambé accident. Eddie, can you confirm?" "I can confirm, Robin. We received no heads-up calls or messages from Steve before or during the show. It was serendipitous irony, 100% pure.") but poured waaaaay too much brandy on, and then Steve tripped in his mad dash for the fire extinguisher ("He was no help at all, just stopped dropped and rolled right there in the middle of the damn kitchen." "How are his eyebrows?" "Ugh, I have more of them than he does right now but at least his match. Don't worry everyone, he's fine. No nerds were injured in the course of this improv slapstick comedy routine that is my life. I swear to god, I need a girlfriend or a boyfriend or someone reasonable to hang out with besides all you weirdos." "Aw, you love us." "Yeah Stevie, what would you do without your loving nerd squad?" "Yeah, yeah... But don't try to leave yourself out of this Munson, as far as I'm concerned you're still the king of all nerds. And if you're reconnecting with Dustin, you're stuck with us too.") and had to stop by urgent care on the way to work.
Throughout all of this, Eddie is not twirling a lock of hair around one finger... but only because it's tied haphazardly back to keep it out of his face for the day. Steve is different from the guy he remembers strutting the halls of Hawkins High. Still all freckles and hair and charismatic grin, but he carries himself differently. More solidly built in his mid-thirties than his late teens, with a layer of softness that suits him. Calmer and settled, with the kind of confidence that comes with growing up. And the girlfriend or boyfriend thing? Holy shit. Holy shit. King Steve? Who knew? But, well, it explains why Steve and Robin are so close, Eddie guesses.
The Steve Harrington that Eddie had known back in the day hadn't exactly been the worst of the bullies, but he'd been friends with them, and they had spouted plenty of homophobic shit. And Steve had been looking right at him as he'd said it, like he's aware that Eddie is terminally single and maybe, just maybe, there was a flicker of a question in his eyes.
Eddie has been publicly out for a while now, and the thing is... Steve is definitely his type. So he leans into it a little, testing the waters. And Steve responds to it like a sunflower greeting the sunrise.
By the end of the show Robin is slapping post-its on the glass partition that read "Get his number dingus" and "Get a room" and Don't make that face at me, yes I do know that he can see these too and I don't care, GET IT or I will recruit Dusty-dun to my cause" and "To clarify, the cause is getting you laid. Eddie, take note, he's allergic to latex."
Permanent tag list (ask to be added, but since I have gotten an influx of new followers lately just know that I write a lot of weight gain kink so like... just be aware): @hotluncheddie @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax @tangerinesteve
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