#which is post- their death ofc bc they have to be dead to show up there

[arytha]

at this point i want to scrap what i have built for era and lorne bc figuring out details with the bits i have randomly set up now is fucking annoying me

[aquaquadrant]

thoughts on the new character bios/interviews that the dreamworks twitter posted below the cut, as promised

so right off the bat, i’m trying to figure out when these interviews took place. it seems to be along the lines of a ‘where are they now?’ for the nublar six, so it’d be long enough after their rescue for them to be settled back in their lives. in terms of exact timing, my guess would be it’s 2-3 years before the time frame of chaos theory, and here’s why.

ben’s part mentions him starting college. if he was 14 during JWCC, he would be around 17 at the time of JW fallen kingdom (ie. during the epilogue scene) cuz it’s 3 years after JW. this would make him roughly 21 during chaos theory cuz it’s supposed to be around the same time as JW dominion (i think so, anyway, could be misremembering), which is 4 years after fallen kingdom. while it’s possible ben delayed his start at college bc of the whole ‘was stranded on dinosaur island for a while’ thing, starting at 21 seems pretty late. so this would most likely indicate the interviews were closer to the timing of the epilogue scene, maybe a year or two after (putting ben at 17-19).

more evidence: darius’s part portrays him as fairly well-adjusted and mentions him traveling to give talks, as we saw in the epilogue. we know that at the start of chaos theory, darius has been isolating himself for an unknown amount of time following brooklynn’s supposed death. i doubt ‘the dino times’ would’ve been able to get ahold of him for an interview.

final point: kenji’s part mentions his relationship with brooklynn and that “all is good in casa de kenji.” so like, it’s very unlikely brooklynn is ‘dead’ yet LMAO

the only thing that snags at me is sammy’s part saying she has her own ranch now. if this interview took place a couple years before chaos theory, she wouldn’t be older than 20. that’s a pretty damn young age to own and operate your own ranch- but since she comes from a family of ranchers, it wouldn’t be impossible. perhaps her family purchased some additional land for her to manage a smaller herd and they stay in close business with each other (providing surplus calves as replacement heifers for sammy’s herd, for example). either way, we stan a strong independent businesswoman.

also there’s the fact that they didn’t make one for brooklynn, when theoretically she would’ve still been alive at the time these interviews were done. but i think the dreamworks team might’ve just been concerned that ppl would confuse the timeline and use it as proof brooklynn is alive (full disclosure: i fully believe brooklynn is alive but ofc the show wants us to still think she’s dead) so i could see them leaving her out just for that reason.

now that the timeline junk is of the way, here’s more random thoughts.

yaz doesn’t seem to have returned to her career as an aspiring pro athlete (seems like something the interviewer would’ve mentioned if she had). this feeds my headcanon of her retaining permanent damage to her ankle quite well. also, the trauma. sammy’s part says they “don’t have time to keep worrying about all that running for our lives stuff.” maybe that’s part of it: yaz decided to just settle down and enjoy the quiet life on the ranch. good for her!!

kenji opened up a climbing school?? that’s random as fuck but i’m here for it. on the surface, it seems like the kinda thing rich tourists would sign up for- y’know, the ppl who travel to exotic places around the world to climb shit. but it’s actually a super useful skill to have in a post-dinosaur world, and kenji knows all too well how important these kinds of skills are for survival. so for me, it’s a choice that reflects the maturing he did during his character arc.

i’ve seen some ppl speculating that yasammy might’ve had a breakup/relationship issues. i sincerely hope that’s not the case- at the time of the interviews, they seemed to be in a very committed relationship, but since that was prob a couple years ago i guess there’s a chance something could’ve happened after. fingers crossed i’m wrong and we’ll just get loads of wonderful yasammy content in the show🤞

i’m curious what ben went/was going to college for. considering the epilogue slated him as researching with mae on mantah corp island, i wonder if he’d pursue some kind of neuro/psych/animal behavior thing.

yaz anxiety mention! god please let the show delve into all the PTSD these kids must’ve brought back from the island.

every new bit of info we get has me so excited like can the show just drop already 😩⚰️

[carulenes]

an analysis of wolfwood’s characterization in trigun stampede as well as his connection to vash (+ why i believe he’s likely much older than we think)

okay i’ve been thinking abt this since eps 10 or 11 were released (this show became my special interest the second it dropped if i'm being completely honest) but its been scratching at my brain ever since i read the sakuracon radio interview and since i haven’t seen anyone talking abt this yet i figured i may as well because it’s clear they really did pull very extensively from the manga and i really am loving how they adapted his character. also i occasionally keep seeing the “tristamp wolfwood is a kid/is 14-15” takes which i need to at least try to help put to rest bc they make no sense given his other iterations and would actively make the story worse.

a quick tldr of my main points before i get on my very long winded soapbox:

wolfwood in trigun stampede has been used as an undying, unkillable soldier by the eye of michael for decades.

rollo as a character, as opposed to monev the gale, was designed specifically as a metaphor for wolfwood’s backstory.

wolfwood and vash are written to be literal complements to one another.

I literally don’t think I have the space to talk abt all my thoughts, and ofc these are all my personal thoughts so any and all of what i’m saying could be wrong, but direct analysis of eps 4-7 (as I think they’re the most important) and discussion of his trajectory in general under the cut (obvious spoilers for the show but also the manga as well as tw: discussions of suicide/suicidal ideation as well as the general tw list for the show's graphic content):

Starting first with a side point that Wolfwood was never a child at any point he was with Vash during thecourse of the story, including the manga. He has always been a man in his 20s, with trimax ww having the appearance of being in his 30s or 40s. It is absolutely crucial to his and Vash’s characterizations, as well as their entire dynamic together, that Wolfwood is an adult. Could make an entire separate post about this, but I feel like starting here is important.

Onto the sakuracon japan radio interview. The team gave a LOT of interesting insight into the development of the show, but one specific point stood out to me:

This is important, because I definitely missed it during the show’s initial run, but I think it’s REALLY obvious once you know what you’re looking for, and is a big factor in why I think he’s likely older than we realized.

————

EP 4: These are the very first lines that are said about him in the show, and the very first time we see him, he is absolutely exhausted:

We know that at this point, Wolfwood is likely on his way to Jeneora Rock to meet up with Vash to fulfill his contract...until Vash and co. quite literally slam into him (and his life) unexpectedly, nearly killing him with their van. He probably should’ve died except… he’s on his feet almost instantly, able to walk perfectly fine and being a jackass as though he didn’t get launched halfway across the desert by a moving vehicle. Which is… odd, naturally.

When they try to find help and instead find the dead couple, he specifically mentions that he isn't a priest like he's been in other iterations. He's now an undertaker, someone meant to guide others through their deaths:

His personality is hard to tap down. He's goofy and childish and downright unlikeable, and there's a hint of something lurking deeper, something menacing and potentially dangerous. So much so that Roberto is on edge the entire time their group is together after being swallowed by the Grand Worm, and flat out tells Vash that Wolfwood is untrustworthy and likely an assassin, "a man who can kill with a smile on his face". And Vash’s response is… really fucking weird, given how long the two have known each other:

not to mention he's wearing sunglasses Wolfwood is rightfully very ??? in response because, what the fuck is he talking about, and why is he so genuine about it, they just met???

Fast forward to a bit later, when Wolfwood is like "hey man, you really shouldn't be so trusting. I could've shot you in the back several times now." To which Vash is like "but you didn't, though." And Wolfwood is even more confused because is this guy stupid???

And then it's time for the final act: Wolfwood reveals his Punisher, destroying the Grand Worm while giving the illusion of taking out Zazie as well. Meryl was informed by someone that Wolfwood had been the one to save them all, but when she tries to thank him, he immediately shifts the subject, being annoying and arguably completely unlikeable. Roberto points out that Wolfwood had lied about who he was, trying to get Vash to realize that he still can't be trusted, and again Vash shoots it down: "We're alive because of him."

Wolfwood showed his role as the Punisher without hesitation, and not only was Vash not really phased by it, but he actually seemed to be inspired by him, stopping his self-destructive tendencies and even repeating his own words back to him. And that's the moment we finally learn his name in the show:

But then, almost immediately, we have a complete reversal of his scene with Vash in the Worm. It’s also of note that Zazie always specifically says human lives:

————

EP 5: One of the most important episodes in this discussion, and it starts with the name alone, "Child of Blessing". Here’s a very general summary:

A young boy in a much less than ideal living situation is chosen to be 'a blessing upon the world through his sacrifice', which turns out to secretly be mutilative experimentation on children in search of a subject compatible with a mysterious medicine that can heal any injury. The meds warp him, morph him into something that doesn't even appear to be human. He tries to return home, but his mother, the only family he knows and loves, is terrified of him. She calls him a monster, and the boy finds himself struggling to articulate who he is. Then, he wanders alone alone without purpose in that unchanging altered body, a body that can withstand lethal amounts of damage directly because of the meds, for at least 20 years. All he has is a single name: Vash the Stampede, the person who promised to save him, and the one person who managed to bring back his consciousness in the end, if only for a moment.

The moment Nicholas sees Rollo regenerate is the second the switch flips. He instantly demands to know what the fuck is up with him, and when Vash responds telling him that he was too late to give him the medicine he needed, Wolfwood shuts down, because he recognizes himself. From this moment until the rest of the episode, we are no longer seeing Nicholas D. Wolfwood; we're seeing Nicholas the Punisher.

Vash continues to push Rollo to remember who he is, while Nicholas continuously says that there's no way to save him, that he's already a monster now. In the final moments, Nicholas inevitably feels tasked with Rollo's death like the undertaker he is, and when Vash angrily demands to know why he took the shot, his response is:

When discussing Rollo's killer, Elendira refers to Nicholas by name, but Conrad specifically states that no, he is the Punisher.

In vol 10 of the manga, Vash thinks to himself: “I met a strange man. Just as I thought we had come to an understanding, I found that our core beliefs were opposed to each other. I was used to such situations, but I wonder how he felt.”

————

EP 6: This episode builds directly upon the foundations set by the episode prior. Child of Blessing ended with Rollo being referred to repeatedly as a monster, and this episode begins with Nicholas in the middle of completing a kill. Right before he does, his victim gets one final glance at his assailant, an inhuman looking executioner, and calls him a monster… directly because he will not die. He’s also been shown knocking back meds like tequila shots in tristamp, which we all know was NOT possible in the manga. During the flashback scene, Nicholas is literally called the Child of Blessing.

We see a very similar sequence with Nicholas that we saw with Rollo; the horrific torture, the bodily mutilation (during which Conrad specifically mentions that the drug will heal all damage done the body, as well as rebuild and strengthen the cells), and the attempt to return home:

Something different happens with Nicholas, though. Nicholas can't go home; he’s literally yanked away from his chance at freedom by Legato. Nicholas can’t go home, likely ever again in his mind, because Hopeland Orphanage and the Eye of Michael represent two fundamentally different ideals.

Hopeland (and thus Livio) is exactly like its name for Nicholas: it is is land of hope, the only place in the world where Wolfwood was allowed to exist freely. When Nicholas was taken by EoM, Wolfwood began to die.

The entirety of the EoM is shrouded in imagery of death and rebirth, specifically in regards to humanity. Humanity in this case has a dual meaning: humanity as a species, and humanity as a concept. Their philosophy is that the end justifies the means in that humans in this form will be preserved and would likely live exceedingly longer lives but, as repeatedly mentioned, there are side effects.

Aging and death are integral parts of the human experience, the two aspects of life that we ALL experience regardless of circumstance. Can you be human without humanity?

The message behind these two episodes is to show that the process of becoming part of the EoM is a metaphorical crucifixion symbolizing the death of one’s humanity. And Nicholas is interesting, because he’s almost the perfect specimen in their eyes and is treated as such. Almost. The only thing holding him back are the two strands of humanity he has left, both which are nearly destroyed in the very next episode.

————

EP 7: In the previous episode, during the animated flashback of Nicholas and Livio, we see a few scattered scenes of other people living at the orphanage. Interestingly, while almost all of the children are seen with very sparse detail (or even none really at all), there is one person, the caretaker, whose face we get a pretty clear picture of. At the very beginning of this episode, we have the first and only shot of the inside of the orphanage in the usual style. While none of the children are familiar and actually aren’t incredibly distinguishable from one another, there is one figure in the room with recognizable hair, but looks considerably older than in the flashback:

During the majority of their interactions, you don’t see Nicholas and Livio interacting with any of the other children. They are simply a background, a set piece to the story and a representation of just how other they were forced to become.

This episode features them fighting each other, dealing each other what should be mortal wounds, but somehow remain standing, as though they’re perfectly fine. As if on cue, the soldiers stationed call them both monsters and run away in fear.

But Vash doesn’t run from the danger. He runs towards it.

Nicholas tries to stop him, and all he gets in return is “he’s important to you, isn’t he?” as though that’s enough. But it is enough for Vash. And Nicholas doesn’t know what to do with that.

Nicholas comes dangerously close to giving up, to giving into his role as the Punisher and killing the last bit of Wolfwood to do so, but it’s Vash who stops him. He diverts his shot and, instead of hurting Livio, literally frees Nicholas from Legato and Zazie’s trap. Vash tells him to make him remember, and Nicholas thinks it’s bullshit… until he doesn’t.

And when he finally relents, when he tries to emulate what the silly blonde idiot keeps screaming at him about… It works. For a moment, but Livio does wake up for a moment. Nicholas hadn’t been able to see Rollo, but he did see this. And he really doesn’t know what to do about it.

To drive the point home, Livio drives a bullet into his own head and falls to the ground in a scene very reminiscent of Rollo’s death… but is implied to still be alive. With him saved, now it’s time for Hopeland. And this is when the narrative really turns a focus to the balance between Nicholas and Vash.

The group is half convinced that they’re about to die snd that the town will be destroyed when, all of a sudden, it’s Nicholas who’s yelling that they have to do something. Because despite all the noise Nicholas makes about self-sacrifice and calling Vash a weirdo, he’s directly inspired by his energy, which is proven correct when Vash is the first one to side with him.

Then, somehow despite the odds, the two of them manage to work together to stop the ion cannon. Which should have been impossible. And because of this, Nicholas is finally willing to give Vash the chance to take the lead on things.

When Vash and Wolfwood discuss their plan to save Hopeland, and after they argue about which method is the correct one, the conversation they have is probably the clearest depiction of Nicholas’ inner struggle:

Nicholas: Have it your way. Just for today. I do owe you one… but if the orphanage doesn’t survive this, I’ll hurt you so bad you’ll wish you were dead before I kill you.

Vash: Wolfwood…

Nicholas: Shut up! I’m the Punisher! I’m not like you… I’m Nicholas the Punisher…

He murmurs the last line as though he’s trying to convince himself. He uses his persona as the Punisher almost like a mask, like a cat puffing up and hissing to deter predators. It’s a defense mechanism, and a trauma response. Except.. it still doesn’t work, because the entire time Vash is simply not listening. Regardless of what Nicholas says, Vash does not stop fighting Nicholas on the title that was forced on him by the EoM and, in fact, blatantly rejects it. And the moment Nicholas finishes speaking, when he declares himself to be the Punisher, the episode’s title card finally appears: Wolfwood.

It's a direct representation of this panel of Nicholas' inner monologue from the manga:

——

Nicholas and Vash’s roles as each other’s complements is emphasized very deliberately when the two work to stop the sand steamer from smashing into Hopeland. These screenshots occur one directly after the other:

Another detail the team mentioned often during the interview was attention to use of color. In color theory, blue and orange are complementary colors: hues that are opposite each other on the color wheel but, when used together, come together to create harmony and balance. Additionally, Vash is the character typically associated with warm hues, while Nicholas is paired with colder ones; with the colors flipped, it’s almost as if they are literally mirror images of each other.

The two are in the same position, in the middle of similar actions, both drawing strength from that which makes them “other” in order to work together to protect a common goal. And once again, miraculously, they succeed, able to do together what neither could ever have done together.

This mirror motif is even clearer when comparing these respective scenes from each of their respective backstory episodes:

For Nicholas and Vash, on top of sharing such a crucial common thread in their backstories, often in the show they are seen together, either side by side or back to back. Often they’re shown doing the same thing at the same time, almost as though they’re moving as one. And they consistently save each other over and over again, with Nicholas acting to save Vash physically, and Vash working to protect Nicholas’ psyche. Vash refuses to let anyone continue to see themselves as a monster, as lesser than, in much the same way Nicholas refuses to let anyone else be used as one.

They are a pair, a unit working together to create a force that is stronger than the sum of its parts.

They are both “other”, they are both different, and they both seek to protect the things they love and care about despite the excruciating pain it can put them through.

Nicholas and Vash’s entite dynamic is basically “I don’t understand you, but I recognize you. I recognize myself in you. And somehow, that’s enough for me to trust you.”

————

So with all this in mind, here is how I’ve come to understand Nicholas’ arc throughout tristamp:

When we first meet Nicholas D. Wolfwood we meet a weary man longing for death to save him, longing to be free from the purposelessness of his life but knowing the hope is futile. He works for the Eye of Michael as an assassin against his will and has for God knows how long. Not only is he no longer a priest, but he’s no longer religious at all, having no belief in God at all and a particular disdain for the false promises and hopes of salvation that are portrayed by it. He doesn’t care about the clothes he wears, whether he looks messy, whether it’s suited for the desert, because he literally doesn’t care about anything, really. He has no home, and can never go back to the orphanage— there’s likely no one left there that he knows anyway, and even of there were, they wouldn’t recognize the monster he’s become. Nicholas is tired, he’s angry, he’s potentially depressed. He fights impractically, sometimes leaving himself open to attacks he could probably block with his Punisher, but he just doesn’t care. He’s just here to do his job, which is to escort his piece of shit CEO’s assumedly equally piece of shit brother to him so they can destroy the world together and he can hopefully die off in peace.

Until he actually meets Vash, and he’s… really fucking weird. He’s dumb and naive and acts like he knows Nicholas on some deep level after they’ve just met, but… he’s not a bad guy. Just another crybaby who doesn’t understand the world. He can see the Punisher and not be frightened by it. That means something, means enough that he feels that he can introduce himself now. He still doesn’t know how to handle kindness, so he deflects whenever it’s shown to him, making irreverent jokes and being annoying in order push people away. But then he meets Rollo and has a flashback to himself. He learns that Vash is no stranger to false promises, has sold the same thing to the kid who ended up just like him, and yeah, Vash is no better than the EoM. He talks a big game but doesn’t actually know anything. Nicholas kills Rollo out of mercy because it’s what he wishes could be done to him; every day of living his life is torture.

But then his hometown and childhood best friend are suddenly in danger. He’d completely forgotten what it felt like to have something to lose, to protect. And without planning for it, Vash also becomes something to protect, because even if he doesn’t act like it, Nicholas desperately wants to believe in him. He doesn’t want the EoM to be right. But the feeling of having something to protect is terrifying, because it means you have something to lose. Nicholas gets incredibly stressed out by this, because it’s been so long that he doesn’t even remember what it feels like. But it’s enough to get him, for likely the first time in a very long time, to hope. And it’s Vash who helps him so that he’s able to hang on to that hope for a little while longer.

He still can’t get too excited, because he hasn’t actually finished his job yet. Before he does, though, he sees Vash’s scars (which was a deliberate choice, as in both the manga AND the og anime this scene went to the girls) and wow, if it weren’t for the regenerative properties of the drug, he would likely look the same. He drops Vash off with Knives and knows that Vash will likely be killed, but he’s also expecting to die himself in the fallout, so it doesn’t matter, really. Except for some reason, it does a bit. And then, yet again, Vash miraculously doesn’t die, and in fact changes the game and actually looks like he might stand a chance against Knives, and is clearly willing to die to do it.

And then July is destroyed. But, miraculously, Nicholas isn’t dead. He still finished the contract, but now… now what?

The show began with Nicholas at his lowest, and ends with Vash at his lowest point. And Nicholas owes him one.

————

INCREDIBLY long story short, it really is clear that they weren’t kidding, the team really drew SO MUCH inspiration from the themes trimax it’s unbelievable and I really really think we’re in for something incredible during the second phase. I also think it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.

[1eos]

wait what did you mean by “kardashians brought pop culture to slaughter and bts delivered the final blow”? I SWEARRRRRR im not trying to be one of those “gotcha!” anons but i keep seeing sm ppl posting abt pop culture / counter culture being dead, and a lot of it in relation to renaissance and i’m just confused by it 😭😭 i’m not even a kpop listener i just think u put these things eloquently

i love asks like this bc my initial reaction before and after i realized this is a genuine question was night n day.

anyways the kardashians were a very very calculated rise to fame at any cost nd were maybe the first people to be on reality tv and skyrocket into mainstream fame (unfortunately) and kim's obsession w stealing everything from black people and marketing it out spearheaded the generic insta baddie aesthetic which is responsible for at least half of the desctruction of unique pop culture. if you look at the 2000s the shit was weird but it was unique. go back even further and the shit club kids were doing influenced fashion EVERYWHERE now everyone is passing around the same name brand outfits, everyone's going to the same surgeon to get their unique features changed into the same racially ambiguous lewk, you don't need talent, you don't need charisma you just need to look like you have money and therefore you deserve fans that will die to be scammed by you.

so the kardashians put pop culture on the slaughtering board right? and then here bts comes. also just copying what black ppl do 1 to 1 until they blow up internationally and start producing some of the most generic western bait pop to be palatable enough to all the white children of the world and their token black friends. but this generic music is taking over the world. the hype isn't in the content but its in the numbers. their fans begin to become obsessed with streaming numbers, video views, breaking records etc. the music is irrelevant. its all about the numbers and being on as many unskippable ads as possible. so now the industry follows behind the biggest (and worst) fandom of all time and award shows, journalists, online content curators who could be informing pop culture accurately are just saying whatever these people want to hear. giving accolades to soulless 'hits' bc they want to avoid death threats or just get a cut of the zombie streaming pie. good pop culture is DEAD. if it werent for the few big black girlies in the industry like beyonce who can do whatever we'd be in hell! no one can sing cuz theyre getting ribs removed to fit into corsets and no one is dancing bc the rented mugler bodysuit has to be returned with no damage and it's all just very very generic.

ofc there are rare interesting performers that pop up but bc they dont fit into the mold they get bullied out like poor mitski wants to be an actual artist nd they hate her for it. anyways kris jenner is going to hell for the evil she's brought into the world

[sharkstatic]

you!! show me your ocs (pretty please)

OFC <3 oh man where to even start

i have about 22 active ocs i rotate lmao about 10 of those have fully developed story/background/personality

these are all ones i dont think ive posted much or at all but these are some of my fav designs/concepts:

memphis honey- catboy extreme, magic user, very loose morals, carved those symbols into his own skin before his scheduled execution so that noone could bring him back once dead. once took over a cult in order to blow it up.

diamond- legally a tattoo artist for powerful demons that would usually heal up tattoos and piercings. illegally most other things. that collar is very literally keeping their head on.

sixgill- very very very old sixgill shark. she lives in the deep ocean and protects an ancient evil and also the ancient evil's baby son. 27 ft tall.

dishi- 7ft tall super buff spirit medium and compulsive liar. a romantic but has the worst taste in men youve ever seen. sees ghosts, demolition expert. this is specifically him while possessed which happens more often than hes comfortable with bc the Veil Is Thin around him, hes like personified halloween

fangfei- sir thats a whore ass bitch. cloud dragon. their style can be summed up with 'cheap and gold'. had to fight their twin to the death at an early age. mommy issues. doing coke in the bathroom about it.

:D they are all fantastic i love them ty for giving me an opportunity to spit them all out on here

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Rating whatever ST ships I can think of bc it's night (post lemon) and I'm bored

Lumax- 10/10 so poetic and beautiful the show doesn't do them justice which is SAYING A LOT romo lumax and platonic lumax have my heart

Elmax- the first ST ship I started shipping before joining fandom! 10/10 incredible beautiful drop dead gorgeous romo and platonic elmax are perfect

Hopclair- 10/10 I may currently be running on a hopclair ANGST high, but as I've said and will not hesitate to repeat, these two NEED to team up and NEED more screentime together! Romo, platonic, and queerplatonic hopclair love in my brain

Henclair- recently found appreciation for them upon season two rewatch and reflecting join season two, cute enough for a maybe 6/10 as romo 15/10 platonic

Henderhop- I just can't picture it 0/10

Morallysus- idrk seems kinda morally sus to me :/ -10/10

Elmike 8/10 platonic and I will not elaborate

Byler- objectively 10/10 but they are not who I'm thinking about when I'm actually watching- that's when my elmax and platonic stobin brain turns on romo and platonic byler on their respective places in the timeline are literary impeccability

Byclair- adorable and I could totally see it, 7.5/10

Wheelclair- surprisingly cute but not my first instinct I do truly Get the cuteness but 6/10

Elumax- be it romo lumax romo elmax with pl hopclair, romo hopclair, or qp hopclair, still adorable to me and I actually understand them more than you do don't go near my children sorry guys blorbo is just for me actually 100/10

Stobin- 10/10 platonic and queerplatonic aromantic and lesbian solidarity!! But also their arc and how they support eachother!! Beautiful precious my precious you can't have it wow am i gatekeeping?

Rockie- unopinionated so 6/10 besties endgame material romo

Ronance- I can never stop thinking about Nancy comparing Barb and Robin to eachother but y'all's headcanons are cute 5/10

Stancy- you know me. I love Steve. I love Nancy. Which is exactly why I can't in good conscious dare ship them together! Nancy's whole thing of relating him to Barb's death (valid) is word on its own if you don't throw in the fact that Steve super cool dream directly contradicts everything Nancy wants in life! Neither of them should have to compromise their LIFE around accommodating the other! You can say what you want about "they still like eachother romantically" which isn't even really true imo but had it ever occurred to you that sometimes people can feel romantically and and decide that a friendship would do them more good? Which isn't to say they are super close friends either because honestly their friendship has gotten the least amount of attention by the writers. -20/10 romo and 7/10 potential friendship that we will never get to see on screen.

Jancy- I honestly could not care less whether they are endgame their unbreakable bond etc etc doesn't care whether they're friends or dating 6/10

Jargyle- 10/10 how does it feel to be the most perfect ship in the world? Pl, QP, romo, alterous, whatever it is these two mean the world to me

Stonathan- question why? I'm sure it's cute I just don't understand the origin of the hype. What's it ABOUT for y'all?

Stoncy- see above, both 5/10

Steddie- I actually like it as a ship kind of if it weren't for the fact I can't see Steve not being aromantic. Also while we're here thank you if you've stopped cross tagging because I'd I look up Erica Sinclair In not looking for Eddie x Reader fics 6.5/10 romo

Boyce- wait actually this might have been my first ST ship not elmax.. anyways they're adorable and I totally hated the way they did the love triangle thing. Hopper being annoying distracted me from Bob being the coolest guy in the world.

Jopper- I guess I'm cool with them now but I was so anti jopper in S2 not because I'm invested in the love triangle I fucking hate love triangles but because Hopper was insufferable in seasons two and three and Joyce had like no boundaries in season three that got weird because ofc the writers decided to build up their canon in the most annoying way possible. Maybe they could have been an 8/10 if ST writers had fucking tried at all before season four but now they're closer to a 4.5/10 for me tbh but go back to season one where their friendship was pretty cool and they've known eachother forever and all that- super fucking sweet 8/10 points taken off because I just generally find Hopper annoying (as a person not as a character I get how he's important to the story and blah blah)

Boycer- since the suffers never ruined it I mean wrote it and I can imagine them however I want- polyamorous Joyce with her two boyfriends is a 10/10

Edissy- I genuinely thought this was a joke 2/10 romo 7/10pl

Joyren- not to be a Karen hater but I kinda hate Karen 1/10

Kargyle- I love Kali with all my heart. I absolutely adore Argyle. But I don't get this ship. Like why. 5/10 romo 8/10 pl

Kalancy- yes let women kill people! I mean I'm the scenario I imagine they are def at Kali's home not Nancy's and it's def not a healthy mindset but let's not think about that.. honestly I don't think about them at all but I guess it could be cool. 8/10 romo 9/10 pl 9/10 qp

[jackrussle]

Beach boys ranking, for myself

Can't talk about. Might be the best album ever made, I** believe it is but I'm trying not to be blinded by bias. But I mean...

Transcendental, unapproached, listening to it is peeking into something that couldn't have been else the world would have ended idk, sometimes it feels like that.

So ahead of its time that ppl still don't fuck with it. Imo its singular, no imitations bc people wouldn't know what the hell they're imitating. I think after pet sounds, not including smile session (released in 2011), its their best. 2 of the best pop songs ever made among tracks like "wind chimes" and "little pad" and "fall breaks and back to winter". So much psychedelic music of the 60s has a grandiosity, the supposed ego death is very huge and important, but smiley smile is as relevant to the present as it was to the past bc it has none of that twining, grinding, muzzy, philosophizing psychedelia of cream or jimi hendrix (luv all that, not devaluing it). smiley smile is hanging out, getting high, giggling, getting scared, and then experiencing a huge but sparing moment of revelation and creativity. It's not "getting at" something real about acid and getting stoned, it's already there. The beach boys stripped themselves, intentionally or not, of fame, what sounds good, what sounds acceptable, whats cool, whats not, whats success, whats failure, saying something or saying nothing. It's the type of shit your heart and mouth make when stoned - whispering, repetitious, thoughtfulness turning into silliness turning into fear turning into marvel, articulate and then making no sense at all.

The sweetest possible follow up to smiley smiles acidic cackling, so easy to listen to. Hugely irrelevant to anything happening in mainstream 1968 music. You listen to their peers and then here's the boys like hehe I love you!! Another example imo of the 60s failing itself, leaving something as nice and understanding as this dead in the water. Another lofi grand dad like smiley smile, something that in retrospect makes it sound rly hip 🏄‍♂️❤️

Tied with friends right now...the "it's so over" album of all time. Already posted about it. 2 of my fav songs ever on it, "til I die" and "surfs up", easy argument that surfs Up is top 10 songs everrrrr

It's controversial of me to like this as much as I do, I just love the "mental hospital band at the talent show" vibe. Carl's vocals are insane, it's approach to r&b is off putting, it's a crazy feeling album while not being crazy at all, in fact its a bit dull and weird. But it's not distasteful or bad, which the boys are very capable of being. It's a fun oddball album that I love, subjectively 😭 the boys are fussing around and having an easy time with it, it reminds me of Daniel Johnson or r Stevie Moore. If it was recorded on a cassette bedroom pop heads would go crazy for it

It can do no wrong 🏄‍♀️🏄‍♂️🏄‍♀️🏄‍♂️🏝🏖🏝🏖🏝🏖🌞🌞🥥🥥🥥🥥🍋‍🟩🥥🥥🍋‍🟩🥥🍋‍🟩

I haven't lived with this album like I have the ones I've ranked above it, there's some tracks I'm bored by. Im thinking 'what this is doing? I know it's being done better elsewhere, " but the Fandom swears by sunflower so I'm going to be patient with it. Some all timers tho, "forever" "all I wanna do" and "dierdra" all eerily contemporary

Haven't listened to this all the way through more than once but what I've heard is complete madness and I know ill love it

Definitely the worst beach boys album I've listened to several times and tried to love. It has a sinister, anxious energy, the effort they made to recreate their old sound is vacuous and lethargic, not respectable. I like the track "I went to sleep" and "time to get alone" and ofc I love "our prayer" and "cabin essence" but the Manson song is on this 1 and it's immediately followed by "our prayer". Depressing.

[traggalicious]

OKAY i’m sick of reblogging the same post (also idk if that actually works well as a format) so here i am jus makin a new post! If any of y’all want more of Ceridwen I think posts with her are tagged as such (#ceridwen), or you can check out the tag #Traggy’s OCs. Should prolly make an intro post or smth but anyway.

(My darling Ceridwen <333)

Post Beginning RealTm Under the Cut:

Ceridwen is from an elven community known for being accepting of drow (and other) refugees, leading to a population with a good amount of mixed blood and an affinity for darker magic. This also led to this settlement being a fairly common target for vengeful drow, for a multitude of reasons. Lost servants, traitors, runaway sacrifices, or even just as a regular-ass target bc ‘aur naur, fuckin Elves and non-Lolth drow’, and all that.

But anywayyy this settlement ends up utilizing skills such as necromancy and all that, due to the fact that if they’re just gonna have people *sent* to them they might as well avail themselves of the resources, it won’t do just to let their bodies sit there. So those drow attackers become soldiers for the community, or labourers!! Those used in the community are stripped of flesh and all that to minimize spread of disease. The Lolth-sworn can have the bio-warfare but us? No thank uuuu.

Anyway this also leads to a sort of militia/standing army vibe w/ the citizens — all are trained in rudimentary medicine and combat before continuing in a specialized path of either. Ofc you can make the choice to specialize in necromancy but Ceri was like hey can i do. Everything. I’m kidding but she graduated the Medic shit (which is why she has the scars—those scars are a mark of a skilled medic, with a steady hand and eye for detail that allows for well-healed and cool-ass scarring) and then focused on necromancy bc MAN.

Reasons for the Necromancy specialization: One: she’s afraid of death. Not the process and shit, but of being dead, of what comes after. She’s terrified of the uncertainty of it, and of the very real philosophical and moral dilemmas that come w/ the existence of soul-based magic and deities that actively partake in regular life. Oh, and Lolth. She’s her own brand of fucked up. And TWO: She’s interested in biology, and anatomy n shit, and plus she wanted to do more than just healing. Don’t get her wrong, healing’s good and useful, but she’s got all this magical power that needs using and in a community where necromancers are kinda like… the necessary job nobody really likes, she’s goin for it. Like YAY, magic, science, don’t have to interact to much with people! Also she is very much interested in the tales the dead have to tell. Especially when those tales involve plans to harm the community.

Anyway that stuff aside, for a good while after graduating, Ceri apprentices under a Necromancer in the community, fucks around, finds out, experiences a couple semi-traumatizing events, and adopts a fucked-up animal? And then! Valinid shows up! Around then he’s still pretty young, fresh from escape. This is like, the tenth place he’s been to and gods does he hope the drow here mean safety and not hurt. He’s been run out of towns, actually attacked, and begrudgingly accepted after fending off attackers. But this place accepts him. Val joins the community as a general handy-man, training with the younger ones and teaching newer techniques, providing insight into current events in the Underdark.

Ceri finds him fascinating, from his looks to his past to just *him* as a person. It’s not like he’s some experiment, of course not. But he’s interesting, and she likes him, and he listens and entertains and matches her energy (which is pretty lowkey, generally). And on a deeper level, he gets her fear of death, of divine retribution, of being wrong and paying dearly for it. They grow together, eventually forming a QPR, bonding over desires to learn and grow outside of their environment of origin—though motivations beyond that vary.

This is where he grows into his Paladin ways, seeing what could’ve been and what could be, where he develops his moral code and establishes himself as a real actual Paladin, protecting the weak and all. And eventually, he goes on his first adventure, and Ceri of course tags along. He wants to protect and save and make amends. Ceridwen wants to expand her magical and medical repertoire, experiencing and observing new things for the sake of Knowing. Love her for that. On this kinda random and barely-planned ATLA style adventure, they meet new people, form a party of nerds, Val gets a boyfriend, Ceri loses an eye, lotsa shit happens.

Eventually, they come across the Shadow-Cursed Lands, but like. Before it’s Shadow-Cursed. This is when it’s in later stages of conflict but it’s not been cursed yet. Val stays because he sees people in need (and there is drow presence in the growing cult of the Absolute), and Ceri stays because Val stays,,, and she totally isn’t crushing on Isobel or Jaheira from afar. Val fights, she studies and heals. They have a casual alliance w/ the Harpers. Then the Curse hits, Val retreats until Absolute shit starts happening Worse, so he goes there. Ceridwen stays near the edge of the Shadow-Cursed Lands, studying it and its inhabitants. She often stays at the Last Light Inn.

Aaaand then. She’s kidnapped and tadpoled. Whoopsies. Val is off on an adventure, having just recently visited. So. Once again! Oops. This is where the story begins, and this long-ass backstory ends. Love y’all, especially those who read thru this whole thing lmao <333

[speedystarshine]

💋 Anon, so sorry but I accidentally posted instead of edited so Ur ask is gone, but luckily I took a screenshot jakwnfna-

Thank you so much for the ask! I'm in brainrot hours rn so this was a good outlet :D and I'm glad you liked the last one! I chose season one, to go down memory lane, hope that was okay! :)

Characters: Joey Graceffa, Eva Gutotowski, Oli White, Lele Pons, Timothy DeLaGhetto, Matt Haag, Sierra Furtado, GloZell Green, Justine Ezarik, Andrea Brooks, Shane Dawson

-So, I think for some reason the season one cast would be more protective of reader?

-They don’t know what happens or what is going to happen, since Joey too has no idea and can’t warn anybody.

-The minute Shane starts choking, everybody’s confused but catch on pretty quickly.

-Y'all start looking for clues, and split off into groups (scooby doo looking goofy ahh-)

-I'll leave which group reader is in to resder interpretation, but whichever you're is more likely to fall first.

-As the night progresses, you'll notice some of your time members becoming more protective of you, flanking you from each side

-You won't have a moment of peace the whole goddamn time. Someone will constantly be near you, watching you, etc.

-And then the deaths start coming :)

-Even though a lot of them are really competitive, and want to go home (with you ofc), a few of them realize that "Oh shit, I want to win but I also might actually die here" so work on protecting you instead.

-Joey would be on of the most protective ones, and nothing is too off with him other than a few offhand comments that might suggest you weaker and in need of protection. (Kinda like Amity and Willow in Labyrinth Runners tee hee)

He also won't stop following you around, never leaving your side once whereas the others sometimes go off to do something else.

-Eva would be noticeably different, acting fun and bouncy as ever but it seems strained, like kinda the way if you were to embarrass your mom in public and she can't kill you yet but like-

-Oli our beloved would be so freaking nice to you, although he can seem a bit more lost in thought and conflicted which is perfect if you wanna slip away for a second.

-Lele would.... Just kinda give you the chills ngl. Yk that scene were Eva and Lele were thirsting over one of the house owners? (I think his name was Colin or smth idek-) yeaahh that. But yandere.

-Timothy is a slimy little rat man who tries to get into your pants every second/j. But seriously, he would be one of the touchier yandere's and he definitely flirts a lot which can cause conflict in the group, so look out for that.

-Matt. Absolute simp, fool of a man. He may be the professor but Jesus Christ he forgets how to speak the second you come into his general vicinity. He'd sit in the simp pile with Eva and Lele.

-Shane is fucking dead lmao

-Sierra would be like.... A softer version of Lele. Definitely calculating and good at hiding how she feels, but a lot less sadistic and cold with reader. Probably gives a lil goofy smile every time she catches your eye.

-GloZell would be all over you, like Timothy, but whereas with Tim it was sly touches you better believe you are straight into her arms. Very touchy with you but in a more open way, so a few of the others are definitely planning against her.

-Justine (ily so much-) would be much like Matt, but actually goes up to more often instead of waiting for you to come to her. She just constantly has heart eyes around you and it shows

-Andrea would be like Timothy and GloZell, except it's always little hints instead of outright physical affection, and she's way smoother and pulling it off than those two. Probably pulls a blush out of reader once or twice (depending on how easy reader is to fluster) and the group is split between "she's next" and "teach me Ur ways" lol. It would be funny bc I imaging Matt going up to her most in a "teach me your ways" thing despite him never having the confidence to actually do it.

-All in all very chaotic. They split off into mini groups, everyone secretly plotting against the other, and a lot of squabbling. All the goddamn time. Joey and Eva are the only ones to have the sense of "THEY'RE RIGHT THERE SHUT THE FUCK UP" since the others are either too hotheaded or riled up to back down.

-lol just the mental image of Joey and Eva trying to calm people down, a whole ass bar fight happening in the middle of the room, reader, Oli, and the servants/maids of the house standing to the side like "for fucks sake-"

I'm sorry it took so long my dumbass pressed post instead of edit TWICE-

Taglist:

@112-writes

@shuble

@orangussy

[vaguely-yandere]

WAAAAAA i meant like you suould suggest an anon name for me bc i am so soooo terrible at coming up w names but i think it would be so cute if all ur anons were named “some adjective” darling!! just like the ones you mentioned!! hmm hmmm then, chami… i will be sunny darling!! bc people have told me im bright and smiley!! it would be saurrrrrr cute if all your anons named themselves some kind of darling too, ur anon following would be so cutely organized in that way!! idk if thats what you meant though </3 maybe were not on the same page at all and im just running my mouth again, as per usual!! anyways, regarding my super super hyper specific ideal yan type…

I LOVE SUBMISSIVE CLINGY YANS!! you know… kinda like the sensitive yan?? but not too shy, not to the point where they cant even speak to me. i mean. i like when theyre all cute and stuttering and blushy, but i wanna be able to tease them and mess around with them!! i want them to crave my attention and pout and beg and whine for it. i think its cute when theyre kinda like a puppy or kitty!! desperate and needy and cutie <33 its cute when theyre shy and soft spoken. its cute when theyre outspoken and outgoing. the common denominator here is that theyre obsessed with me and love me and want me to dote on them! awww they want me to hug then and ruffle their hair and compliment them… all of which i will gladly do!! my mindset is so healthy, i know! but as other anons have stated, we’re all normal here!! <333

and u know whats funny. im ace too but when it comes to sub yans my brain does the funny thinky and h0rny thoughts appear. subby yans swoon swoon!! i am okay i promise. also i swear im not stalking ur blog but you just so happen to be posting p frequently (as of rifht now) and i am eating it UP!! but ofc dont feel pressured to respond quickly or post a lot!! im just saying i appreciate u chami <33 LET ME KNOW IF IM ANNOYING then maybe i can be annoying darling instead LMFAOO (i hope not though </3)

waaaa sunny darling is so cute!!!! you know, i think you would do well with a subservient yandere! theyll do anything for you, just say the word and theyre So Normal about it! your hands get cold easily? they have an 'extra' pair of gloves. your hungry? they have extra cash! you wanna go shopping? its on them! someones annoying you? dont worry about them anymore. they just work so so hard to please you without thinking twice about you!

you tell them to jump and they dont ask how high, they just do it until you tell them to stop.

i like thinking theyre p rich, were neglected when they were a child, the stereotypical story. rich parents who never pay attention, blah blah blah and then they meet.. you... so bright, so loud, so talkative and so so sweet, they cant help but cling to you. somehow, by some miracle, they become friends with you and follow you around whereever you go. every gift you give them is put in a shrine they have that is. VERY hidden. and i just know they regularly have to have 'bathroom breaks' whenever you hug them tight or compliment their outfit or pay any extra attention and the poor thing just has to keep splashing water on their face to get the redness to go down! so cute!

aaa i just love sub yanderes, theyre just so... pathetic but in a good way! makes me feel safe! i just KNOW theyd do anything for you, darling <3 and if someone calls you annoying or is too rude to you, thats when their aggressive side shows up.

they corner them in some secluded area and bludgeon them to death. to a pulp. they didnt even have time to think about it, they didnt even question it for a second and afterwards, well, they feel kinda bad. not for the new dead person but because, well, they just know youll feel a bit scared now because of this 'random' murder and they dont want you feeling that way! but dont worry, theyll protect you!

and you need to stop worrying about bothering me, sunny darling! you need to take up space and be unapologetic about it! and i find stalking, intentional or not, very very sweet! <3 it doesnt bother me at all. spam liking or rebloging or anything really boosts by ego! i love it! im a touch of an attention whore lol and the entire reason why i started this blog was for ppl who have more 'dominant' (but not exclusively) personalities and wanted to see more subby yans! but i also enjoy a nice subby darling with a subby yandere, so cute! but what im saying is, i have zero issue standing up for myself or setting boundaries! so dw! <3

(P.S. to other askers, feel free to stake claim on a name! itll help me know who yall are and remember ur interests!)

[as-i-watch]

You better get ready bc its time for

The Straw Hats' Tragic Backstories

Ranked from what i personally consider to be less tragic to most tragic. With pictures!

I accounted not only how scaring their backstories are but also how long they suffered for, balancing the bad and the good times. Be ready

N°9 (Less Tragic): Usopp

Less Tragic is still Tragic. He lost his mom, never knew his father and never felt he fitted in at his hometown where he gain the reputation of problem child. That said, he still had a pretty 'normal' childhood and was a happy and emotionally stable kid, somehow.

N°8: Zoro

Now with Zoro there's the issue there's a lot we (or at least I) dont know. The times he spend at the dojo gave him somewhat of a home but before that he appeared to be a homless orphan maybe? Also then there is Kuina's death which defined so much about him through pain. Beyond that, he grew up in a safe space with people that cared about him.

N°7: Luffy

He never had a parental figure to look up to and he was raised in a way by many people. He's sense of familly lied with Sabo and Ace bc nobody else stayed around long enough (except for Dadan). Similar to Zoro, the 'death' of Sabo defined a lot about him through pain. He ranks above Zoro because he lived to survive and his and his brothers lives were often put in mortal danger.

N°6: Brook

The fact that he had a whole happy life didnt allowed me to rank him very high but at the same time, wandering arround for decades alone, traped in the darknes, souraded only by the dead bodies of his nakama. I couldn't put him last either. Not to mention the lost of his body.

N°5: Franky

Now it's getting real. Franky did have a happy childhood with his found family doing what he loved that is building ships. But, the boats he created were used against him to bring down and arrest his father figure/mentor. In desperation he traid to fight a train to stop it and lost his body in the process. He never saw Tom again.

N°4: Sanji

There are two sides to this. One, so far all we (or at leats I) know of Sanji is from when he was already an apprentice at a kitchen, what's the story before that? Idk but i bet is not happy. Then ofc is the issue that he almost starved to death at the ripe age of 8 and had to carry on with the guilt of costing this pirate-chef his leg and career, who eventually became his mentor/father figure. No wonder he is so closed off emotionally. Thanksfully, after that he seemed to have gronw up without other insidents and he loved it in the Baratie

How are you doing? Sad yet?

Well buckle the fuck in bc we are entering the top three and oh boy

N°3: Chopper

Rejected by everyone since he was born and it only got worse after the ate the devil fruit. He was attacked by his own and also by humans. The only one that showed him love and kindness was Hiluluk, his father figure/mentor, who he ended up killing while trying to find a medicing to save him. All things considered he had some happy times in the middle.

N°2: Nami

She was a happy kid until Arlong came along, murdered her mom infront of her eyes and took her away. Not only she was forced to work and live with Arlong, but she also had the lives of everyone on her village on her shoulders, and she made it so at the age of 8! She lived the next decade terrorized by Arlong, alone, thinking everyone hated her and carrying that weight on her own. Her final snap when she stabs herself on her tattoo cannot be more heartbraking

N°1 (Most Tragic): Robin

There's just, so much to unpack. She lived alone, her mother left her and her adoptive family rejected her. The only solance she found was studying but then the Marine came along. They killed everyone she loved in front of her eyes, they burned her entire island and made her the sole survivor. After that they persecuted her all her life, she was betrayed and sell out more times than she can count probably. She was forced to live in the run, never trusting anyone and never belonging anywhere, which was all she ever wanted.

- Thanksfully they all found happiness later in life having wonderful adventures with the Straw Hats, one big fam -

I hope you liked my post (ಥ‿ಥ)b

[actualbird]

// spoilers for marius' skadi card, SSR Daytime Aurora, bulk reactions, LONG POST, suicide ment (i didnt expect it either, JESUS)

mc, helping marius interview locals for his paintings: hello, what is the most beautiful scenery in this country to you?

tourist: the hot springs

mc: huh? why?

me: WE'RE OFF TO A GREAT FUCKING START IN THIS CARD LMAOOOOOO. mc, girl, let him. let him paint it. LET HIMMMM!!

i cant believe this, marius rlly showed up to her room a DRENCHED MESS, like a SAD LITTLE KITTY CAT that was SPLASHED WITH WATER RELENTLESSLY as it meowed helplessly ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD

and hes warming up by showering with the door open. whore.

WAIT THEY DIDNT EXPLAIN HOW HE GOT SOPPING WET THOUGH???/ like okay he admitted to going back to the diner and talking to grumpy owner and that they had a disagreement but nO DETAILS as to how the "accident" or him coming to her doorstep like a soaked creature???

WHAT IS THE TRUTH???

fuck off, this is making me cry a little bit.....never not gonna be affected by trope of "something beautiful is happening but character A is only looking at character B" FUCK OFFOOFOFFFFFF

AND OF COURSE HE GOT SICK!!!! he was a silly wet kitten just yesterday and u guys r in fictional iceland in the WINTER and hes coughing bc the breathing apnea is kicking irt to the temp and hHHHHHHH MC IS SO WORRIED IM GONNA EAT BRICKS

OF COURSE IT'S TOO DANGEROUS TO DRIVE BACK

AND OF COURSE THERES NO CELL SIGNAL

it's time for sickfic and cuddling for warmth in the TUNDRA NOW

fuck my entire life, hes adorable

marius, honey, ur lungs r tryna give out due to ur State. kudos for teasing even then.

god i hate this, i HATE IT. not only is luke pearce a mfer who will hide symptoms/illness/anything that is worrying from mc to avoid causing her worry, MARIUS DOES IT TOO. //SHAKES HIM LIKE A MARACCA. UR COUGHS SOUND HORRENDOUS PLS....

HARDEST CHOICE IN THE GAME THUS FAR

IM NOT FUCKING STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS!!!

me: okay the emo is over, everything is gonna b okay now it's fine

the card: the reason the bar owner was upset and grumpy was because he had failed to witness the aurora for years. auroras are believed to be the dead trying to speak to the living. the diner was empty bc the owner fired everybody and was planning to kill himself to be with his dead wife. marius had talked the dude outta killing himself, saying some things that hit hard to the point that theres enough implication he knows enough about suicidal people that he recognized it in the owner from the very beginning. the owner angrily asks what marius would know about grief and death. and marius just replies with "..." and then the owner pushes and marius crashes into a wine rack. happy? u got ur explanation for why he was drenched!

me: IM NOT FUCKING HAPPY, U PELTED AT ME MARIUS' DEAD-MOM TRAUMAGRIEF AND A SUICIDAL CHARACTER WHEN I WAS LEAST EXPECTING IT!!!!!!!

ok all in all this was a rlly sweet card, i loved it a lot

and now for depressing unnecessary character ramblings under the cut

my first instinct when marius was revealed to have understood the owner was suicidal at the first glance was that marius recognized the details from himself. DEPRESSING, I TOLD YOU!!! but it's something i can see happening to marius, esp since he was super fucking guilty about his mom's death ever since he was young. if you take guilt far enough, sometimes the only forgiveness thatll ever feel right is...well...that.

ofc story goes on to say the actual reason: marius met a man a few months ago who asked him to approve a shitty business proposal and marius said no and that dude killed himself. the look of "determination and desperation" in that man's eyes were how marius was able to recognize the signs in the bar owner

which, at first, made me go "eh" but then after 5 seconds of thought i was like "oh fuck, no, that does thematically vibe" it vibes particularly with marius' misplaced guilt over being the 'cause' of peoples' death

i realize now that marius' silence after the owner was angry at him was probably pointing more towards the man from a few months ago and not marius' mom but...why not both? kinda fucked up for a recurring theme in marius' life being "i am somehow, whether directly or indirectly, the reason why somebody has died" THATS HEAVY

also that whole "the aurora is the dead trying to speak with the living" and how whenever the aurora got louder, marius would feel worse.

man. marius, welcome to the guilt club. you can sit right next to luke or artem.

(vyn, JOIN THEM!!!)

[plague-of-insomnia]

Ch 178: The Gist - Revenge of the Roast Chicken, And A Look into Bard’s Tragic Past

Prefacing this by the fact that I may not have all the pages in the chapter, so I’m going off what I do have (10 pages, not including the cover).

Also I’ll be leaving the Japanese out to save time.

I won’t be offering analysis here, but will in separate post(s) if I’m able, as my body and mind are both out of spoons sadly.

Ch 178 picks up where 177 ended, with the (sadly “mistranslated”) roast chicken revenge.

The chapter is essentially made up of two pieces: 1) Sebastian attempting to (yet again) instruct Bard on how to properly roast a chicken, along with a couple of cameos by the other servants, and 2) Bard remembering his past, first with fondness and then as a full-out PTSD flashback.

On the first page, Sebastian is clearly trying some reverse psychology (or maybe he really thinks Bard is just dumb/ignorant and not just defiant), and begins, saying, essentially,

I’m so sorry, I didn’t know how to explain properly before. I wasn’t aware there were people who didn’t know how to find the roaster. I had no idea there were people like that.

Naturally, this ticks Bard off, who retorts,

Step by step… you’re very effective at being annoying.

Sebastian ignores him and simply says he will now go through the recipe for roast chicken, which follows, in detail, on the second page.

Sebastian’s lesson continues on the following pair of pages, where he explains about the turnspit dogs, and the importance of keeping the rotisserie moving so the meat won’t catch fire. Bard, ofc, is all for having the dog do the job, but Seb is having none of it.

(These pages were exceptionally difficult to read, so I’m sorry I can’t do a better job with the nitty gritty here.)

By the fourth page of Sebastian’s instructions, Bard’s mind begins to wander, and this is when he begins to recall the boy and woman, starting with her, remarking on how everything she cooked looked and tasted delicious. However, Bard says “everything you cooked…” (あなたって) so it’s still not clear at this point what their relationship was exactly.**

After this, we finally jump ahead, to where Bard is manning the spit (in the present), and Finny and Mey Rin make their cameos.

Finny arrives first, announcing to Sebastian he’s finished the weeding, only for a surly Bard to reply, “Jeeves ain’t here.” (The American generic name for a Butler, basically the equivalent to “Sebastian” in Japan.)

Finny seems unperturbed by Bard’s mood and happily greets him.

Once again, Finny makes Bard remember the boy (his son? It’s not clear.)**

Mey Rin shows up not long after and her presence pushes Bard to remember both the boy and the woman, as he recalls a scene when he arrived home to find them cooking (one of his favorite things).

This happy moment is soon Interrupted as Bard is thrust into a traumatic memory/PTSD flashback (tw warning, child death) of another time he arrived home to find the fields/house aflame and the child dead (with presumably no sign of the woman, though with the framing, we can’t be sure of this).

My copy ends with Sebastian bursting into the kitchen, screaming Bard’s name and yelling at him for burning the chicken (presumably bc he stopped turning it).

Poor Bard is startled and confused as he’s suddenly yanked back into the present to a mini inferno in the hearth….

~#~

** Bard’s relationship to the boy and woman, clarified:

The only word I could find in the copy I have that gives any hint at all as to whether or not the woman is Bard’s wife and the boy his son (or if they’re not), is from a panel that’s pretty blurry/warped and partly chopped off:

My first read through, I assumed the boy was speaking, so I was very confused by the fact that he seems to be referring to his mother (presumably) with this word: お夫, which, depending on context, can mean either husband or wife, but in the past, was also used (presumably between spouses) as a term of endearment, like the word “darling” in English.

I couldn’t make sense of why the child would use that word (the rest of the sentence is basically asking about what’s cooking/are you cooking).

So either one of three things is going on:

Bard is actually speaking, in which case he’s saying something like “darling, what’s for dinner/what’re you cooking?” And if so, it would confirm that she is his wife and the boy most probably his son;

The boy is mimicking how he’s heard his parents speak to one another (the way kids sometimes do, maybe to sound more grown up without fully understanding what they’re saying), and is saying “darling, are you going to cook/what are you cooking” or something like that;

Or (and I don’t think this is the case), I have misread the kanji and he (or Bard) is saying something else entirely

But this is why I’m still reticent to confirm that the woman is Bard’s wife and the boy his son, although I think there’s a strong chance that’s the case. The other possibility would be that the woman is his sister, and the boy his nephew (or she’s his brother’s widow/maybe his wife, in which case the boy could still be his nephew).

~#~

Sorry I couldn’t be as detailed this month, but I hope this helps tide you over until Monday.

As always, apologies in advance for any errors.

[sakkac]

re: fumetsu no anata e as of chapter 139.2

this started as a response to @bestbonnist​‘s post on chapter 139.2 but now i’m just dissecting differences and similarities between tonari, mizuha, and kahak like im writing an essay for a uni class. i interchangeably use he/they pronouns for fushi and my writing may be clumsy (bc im not actually writing for uni ❤️).

mizuha is a broken mirror to tonari (and kahak a foil to the two aforementioned) in this modern-day arc, especially in their expressions of love for fushi. tonari’s love for fushi is aged over hundreds of years and mizuha’s, at first glance, is an infatuation just based on how long they’ve known each other. im the biggest kahak stan ever, but even i understand kahak’s love started as an infatuation for parona’s form. though, i’d consider the word infatuation compromised when it comes to defining mizuha’s love, bc u cant be sure if her love for fushi is entirely her own, seeing as it had been passed from generation to generation of guardians.

(chapter 134, read right to left)

tonari and mizuha aren’t that different once you look deeply into the both of them. mizuha’s personality and actions are factors in tonari’s dislike of her, but what ultimately repels tonari from mizuha is that she knows they’re similar, and that manifests most clearly in how she reacts to fushi being with mizuha. i.e. resenting fushi for using her friends’ vessels to help their “love life” in chapter 135.5. she can’t stand mizuha bc mizuha is able to express her love for fushi and fushi does not reject (or accept) it; tonari still hasn’t fully admitted to herself that she likes fushi romantically (perhaps because she can’t separate it from the devotion that led her to harden her body to poisons and to promise her corpse to rest at fushi’s feet), so seeing mizuha appear to progress further than she has irritates her. as for kahak, tonari only has the biases of the other pseudo-immortals and her own of past hayase reincarnations to rely on. (this is not as plot-related, but these two also both like books. kahak read tonari’s fushi book, so i wish they actually met, but in a world where tonari didnt hate hayase beyond death.)

tonari as a child seemed like she thought herself superior to others, perhaps a natural result of her upbringing. she was raised on a prison island, but she herself never committed any crime; banding together w other kids like her, writing about her life in her book (which keeps her separate from or above others in a way). but this thinking ceases at her relationship w fushi. however, i believe this started before they even met. tonari’s childhood dream at seven years old was to write a book her father would be impressed by. she also used to believe in god, while her family was still whole. she even prayed to god when he decided to participate in the tournament in chapter 35. however, she stops referring to god by the time her father had shown tarnish. coincidentally, she meets fushi, who would “upend everything... jeannanda and [her] fate.” she ends up, instead of writing for her father, writing a book to allow a peaceful existence for fushi for whenever they decided to come back. this act shows that the adult tonari has written fushi to a level above her, out of her reach. 

(chapter 35)

here i’ll quote ray’s words about kahak and tonari: “she also has a surprising amount in common with Kahaku, too, with the ‘I want to protect you even if you disagree.’” the way tonari had waited and honed her body for fushi resembles kahak’s attachment; she had finished living for herself, so now she was only allowing herself to live to further create an ideal vessel for fushi (which also brings up one of hayase’s goals). the difference is that kahak lived for fushi because, as raikkousaki said, fushi was the only thing he was “ALLOWED to live for.” however, while tonari is unquestionably devoted to fushi now, what pulled her to him was black hood’s coercion. as a result of black hood’s words to her, she manipulated fushi into helping her solve her problems, to save her from the island. this first “meeting” also revealed that she was attracted to their white hair; she later admits that she admires their fair skin, contributing to the idea that she could view fushi as the equivalent of a god or at the least, a vision of purity (which is :/ imo, bc of her dark skin). we should also keep in mind that, this, technically her first impression of fushi, and his later display of violent immortality in the arena would further his image as a “legend.” 

mizuha was exposed to fushi’s immortality and reveres him like tonari and kahak respectively do and did. instead of the specific word “legend,” it’s “immortal monster.” her first formal exposure to fushi’s fabled power was not unlike tonari’s, since mizuha had went into her grandfather’s library and read on fushi in chapter 124.1. after this, she manipulates fushi to save her, again paralleling the beginning of tonari’s relationship with fushi, but it’s from her overbearing mother and herself. both tonari and mizuha forced their problems onto fushi, but mizuha doesn’t have black hood stepping in front of her saying “you must lead him.” instead, she may have been influenced by the left hand, but i believe mizuha’s thoughts are majorly her own (left hand lies in wait within mizuha’s consciousness like a predator), and what they appear to say is that she’s leading fushi until he decides to follow her willingly. as for kahak, we only have a few pages on his childhood and what we can make of it and of his actions as an adult is that he was willing to follow fushi wherever they went, until left hand betrayed them both.

mizuha’s superiority complex comes from a different place than young tonari’s; she was a prestigious child from young, in addition to her fear of her uniqueness fading as she aged. this caused her to feel separate from other children. when she meets fushi, she sees how different he is from everyone else and uses subtle ways to keep him with her, while never directly admitting she wants him to stay with her, except for ch 125′s “i’m scared. stay with me tonight,” after her mother’s sudden murder. she usually uses excuses instead, like cutely demanding fushi to walk with her after school and go on dates with her.

(chapter 36 vs. chapter 128.2)

as fushi was introduced to the people around tonari and mizuha, they received similar reactions, i.e. “your hair is so pretty!” and “woah, his hair is white!” in the pages following these, the similarities continue into tonari and mizuha gaining ownership over fushi: in ch 36 oopa declares “tonari found him. so he belongs to tonari,” while the islanders try to get on fushi’s good side, and in ch 128 fushi goes out of their way to ask which club mizuha belongs to when asked to join a club (vocalizing her claim on them so she doesn’t have to directly do so).

(chapters 38, 106, and 139)

when the opening comes for mizuha to actually admit her feelings in chapter 139, she tries, but demands instead, “so... love me.” this recalls kahak’s confession to kai in 105.3, that he wants to “protect fushi’s humanity.” kahak and mizuha were both covered in blood when they spoke, but the atmospheres and characters are different; mizuha is clever w her words, but still too immature to let go of her pride, whereas kahak was the exact opposite. he rid of himself of his pride for fushi when he was a child, but said a lot of the wrong things to fushi when it came down to it. additionally, mizuha, when she wants something, she’ll phrase her words so that it seems like there’s only one choice: to follow her. this has been the case for others including fushi (chapters 120.2′s testing of hanna with “if i died, would you cry for me?” and 132.1′s “i’ll teach you about love” and the following guilt-trip). tonari is more direct with her words and meaning than either mizuha or kahak, bc of her personality. she directly confronts fushi when she realizes he had felt betrayed by her in chapter 38, because she still needed him for his plans. but mizuha is more direct with her actions; in chapter 129.1, she latches herself onto fushi, while trying to get information out of him. after the failed marriage proposal, rather than physically attaching himself to fushi like mizuha, kahak used acts of domesticity and protection to subtly appeal to and maintain his space next to them.

(chapter 38 vs chapter 139)

tonari’s “there are people in this world who are better off dead” above isn’t far from the knockers’ reasoning behind “wishing for death is paramount to being dead” and the reason for mizuha’s mother’s death: left hand decided to “eliminate the cause of [mizuha’s breaking point’s] stress.” what this shows is that tonari can also justify murder, though granted, this is from a hundred chapters ago. however, this black and white thinking comes back in the modern era where tonari holds prejudice against mizuha because of her relation to hayase. tonari knows her dislike of mizuha is unfair, she can’t get around it. tonari is still as prideful as she was when she lived on jeannanda; it’s just that she is able to use fushi to justify her opinions now. i also want to bring up mizuha’s reaction to her mother’s death and funa’s knocker’s “purging and guidance.” mizuha seems comfortable with the sight of death, despite having a more normal childhood than tonari, because her actual main concern overwhelms it; she is always thinking on how she can appeal to fushi (almost like kahak), or in other words, how to salvage her pride. so instead of being concerned over being the actual murderer, she is concerned with appearing as a murderer to fushi.

so to actually answer ray’s question, objectively, tonari’s love is as excessive as kahak and mizuha’s. but personally, i think tonari’s love for fushi right now is also unhealthy, though it comes out of good will. kahak’s love also ended in fushi’s benefit, but it was undoubtedly unhealthy. and ofc, mizuha’s love is also unhealthy; she reaches for fushi for perfection, tonari reaches for fushi for humility.

[yozzers]

vexos hcs and random notes

ill update as i go, because yes i do update my masterlists every once in awhile, i should probably add them to my pinned... 

General

I sincerely hope they have a small living arrangement so I can inflict them with the pain of having to share almost everything with each other

I just want Shadow and Lync to share a bunk

Like to think that alongside Volt, Mylene and Lync were also recruited by Hydron

None of them officially joined until they were a bit older but probably trained to eventually join the Vexos; in the mean time they probably worked for Hydron or something like that

Volt recruited at 11; Lync a year later and Mylene following not long after (respectively 13, 8, 12 when they’re all gathered)

My reasoning to why Volt is patient with Lync’s antics and Mylene less so but doesn’t lash out as badly as you think she would around annoying little kids; grew up tgt moment

Spectra probably forced his way into the Vexos like “hiiii i see you dont have any Vexos members <3″ bcs obv he wasn’t using royal scientist dad privelages (i think, bcs Clay seems horrified abt Spectra being a Vexos and well, being Spectra) 

Shadow had an advantage of being a nobleman (in terms of him being accepted into the Vexos’ ranks)

the Vexos and their set of rules magent-ed on the fridge door or something and every time they go over a page they have to staple/tape a new page on

Joined in this order, Volt, Spectra, Shadow, Mylene, Lync, Gus 

Vexos being a “chance of death low but the chance is still there” type of job... they feel like idols girl help they are bakugan idol group who work for the government 

sorry the way the vestal kids talk about them... going to treat the Vexos like a kpop group now

Spectra Phantom / Keith Fermin 

[canon] son of a (royal?) scientist. definitely had it good and comfy

think it’d be REALLY funny if he already knew Shadow before he became Spectra, Shadow just doesn’t recognize him bcs of his stupid get up

throws childhood friends Shadow Spectra at you, just two weirdos 

Keith specifically keeps Shadow from ever meeting his sister which is why neither of them really recognize each other

Pre-Spectra; probably would’ve been really into bakugan biology and what not. Feels like the kind of person to talk w/ his dad about “do you think we could change their appearance if we messed w/ their mechanical ball form or would it not carry over to their released forms”

this mf looks like a biology major i feel it in my guts 

mom isn’t dead she just divorced Clay bcs he didn’t know how to balance family and work, good for her

probably lives in another city now, and it’s a bit more of a hassle to meet with her kids so they don’t see her as much but she is present in their lives (keep in contact in other ways) 

probably went a bit silent when Keith went missing

didn’t bleach his eyebrows bcs he didn’t want to harm the skin around there and he never thought he’d take the mask off around others, or about how stupid he’d look without the mask

please please please please draw him with his pink hair roots in his MS fit he should've grown out some of his bleached hair by then

daddy issues is truly the root of evil

Gus Grav

Just Some Gut background; middle class just living life

[canon?] was going on a route to being an “idol brawler”, because that’s kind of what their brawls felt like, since it was all purely for show with some competition. it felt less like a sport and more spectacle.

Gus wanting to be an idol brawler is actually such a funny string of words put together I’m making that a thing, if he didn’t join the Vexos he would’ve been an idol brawler

I like the Gus needs glasses hc (shoutout to @marmeladebois ‘s post on that) 

The hc of him being half human and Runo’s half brother is so good 

Cooks well but refuses to help cook fr the Vexos (unless Spectra specifically asks) --> that job is usually left to Volt

not related but reminds me heavily of yugioh vrain’s Spectre (or other way around... Gus was the blueprint) 

Shadow Prove

[handbook canon] a vestal nobleman 

has an older brother (oc; Lux- casual Haos brawler)

inferiority complex or whatever, the only thing he bested his brother in was Bakugan

the Prove family being typical prim proper noble family and forcing Shadow to be repressed is something, but the Proves having the same kind of wavelength as Shadow but in different variations is funnier. They’re just Like That.

Probably not a military family, does work closely with the government still; um im thinking somewhere under the Fermins but not by much

Considered running away from home several times 

Unwillingly has knowledge on Vestal classic literature/ music

hard clutching a wall whenever he wants to join in on discussions about it bcs he knows this stuff but no way is he going to make himself look like a nerd + hes not actually that interested

*debates you for fun and bcs i hate u <3* 

You know how he doesn’t take his job as a Vexos member super seriously, I wonder:

did his parents force him to be a Vexos since he wasn’t interested in the political side of his family and probably against taking up anything related to it, so they had him do something that’d still be beneficial to the family?  

joined to pursue a freedom he didn’t have as a nobleman and is now just taking it really easy?

has clowns > jesters debate with volt; obv he’s team clown, volt is team jester

incredibly irrelevant but if he was a human he’d be chinese, i’ve claimed him, prodigal son older brother and fail son dynamic is there 

Mylene Ferrow

While I like the idea of her being from a military family, I want to make her like Ling Wen (TGCF) in the sense she started from the bottom and climbed to the top... it fits her ambitious nature of grasping for more, she hasn’t reached what she considers the top just yet... 

[very Ling Wen specific but Mylene being put in jail fr crimes unknown to me and being recruited  by Hydron bcs she kicked serious ass is an entertaining thought] 

I like to think she’s closest to Shadow due to the fact he kind of forces his presence onto her so... not her choice in that matter. “annoying” to “endearingly annoying, you still aren’t getting special treatment though”

Ofc Volt and Lync are on the same level, but I think they all know when to give each other space so they’re more of a “we hold each other at a distance, but we’re aware of out closeness which is enough for us”

Then its Spectra and then Gus in the “closest to Mylene” scale; she just straight up hates Gus and it’s mutual

whoever made the “Mylene and Spectra were exes” hc I think it’s really funny so I’m adding it here 

terrible fashion, she’s the one who chose the outfits when she and Shadow went to earth; her fashionable armor look she usually has was designed with Volt’s help, she just voiced what she generally wanted 

Her red lipstick look was bcs she thought it’d make her look more serious/ intimidating (Volt and Lync approved, it rlly does work on her)

Shadow matches w/ her (via his red nails) after they get teamed up tgt several times bcs he thinks they’re basically the go-to duo matchup whenever they’re assigned work n it’d be cool

Very forthcoming about the fact she used to be considered a criminal and was from same rundown area Volt and Lync come from

She’s grateful she got out of jail but she still has no respect for Hydron and despite how much she tries to hide it she does make it pretty clear to him she doesn’t really like him

I wish I had more to say about her... but It’s all relationship esque, i think in general she’s enjoyable and good so what I want more out of her is character dynamics

Lync Volan

[eng dub] he has grandparents; whether they’re still alive or not is...? 

was part of the same area Volt is from

probably aware of each other but didn’t really know each other

you sound like you have mommy issues 

came from the same area as Volt, but lived further out and closer to those areas where there were some bits of nature left 

ill expand on why he got picked up by Hydron another day lazy rn

Volt Luster

[canon] he’s from an area that just straight up looks like yugioh 5ds’ Satellite, and Hydron was the one who pulled him out of there  

He says Hydron pulled him out of there when he was a kid? I’d assume at youngest it’d be like Hydron (8) and Volt (11)

has a neat collection of handmade jester dolls 

lot more artistic than he seems 

Had his guardian bakugan with him the longest; had Brontes even before he met Hydron

Would the others consider him weird fr having a talking Bakugan that acted friendly with him n cracked jokes? 

[paint-music-with-me]

(PART ONE)

Ok, I need to talk about my favorite sequence of scenes from this whole ep (if possibly the whole show so far but we’ll what happens in later eps) 

It is where Tian goes to Khama, then Longtae and Khama talk, and then Longtae goes to Tian. 

(Also, I am sorry but I’m only going to give you pictures for my analysis but they do not do well to fully represent my points, so if you can, please rewatch the scene again.)

So let’s start off with what we know so far: Tian is ostracized from the village, everyone looks at him with pity/anger/sadness/betrayal or straight up doesn’t acknowledge his existence, like he’s a ghost. It is like a knife in his back along with the weight of his guilt. Even the one person he wants to go to doesn’t want to be around him. So Tian seeks out comfort and guidance: Khama, the village chief. 

Below, he is hesitant. Would Khama look at me with betrayal? With disdain? With mistrust? But he believes that Khama would be different because Khama’s shown himself to be a buffer between the villagers and Tian time and time again (when Tian fought Sakda’s men, when he suggested the tea satchels, etc.) Maybe with Khama, Tian can at least have one other person understand (like Longtae). 

It’s very clear the shirt was just an excuse for Tian to talk to Khama. This young man is seeking guidance from someone who always gave him the benefit of the doubt. But it’s difficult for him to let out how he feels. I don’t know exactly what’s running through Tian’s head, but I can take an easy guess: How can I possibly search for closure when the villagers are barely starting to grieve? Who am I to seek comfort when the chief is now having to comfort his people? I’ve brought this pain to this village.

And it hurts to see Tian roll it over in his mind how he is feeling vs how everyone else is feeling & what should take priority. His mouth is making shapes of the words he wants to say but can’t.

Meanwhile we have Khama also trying to give attention to Tian nonverbally, with his body. The way Khama shuffles to appear facing Tian as much as he can without scaring him off, like he’s waiting for the young man to say something, anything, because he knows and understands. He even speaks to him calmly, conversationally like nothing happened. 

At this point, the audience is holding their breath bc is Tian gonna say something else? Is Khama? Will someone come in and interrupt them? But then Tian says “Thank you” which honestly surprised me. Mostly because “I’m sorry” is said when a mistake happens. But for Tian, what he did was on purpose albeit for his own reasons. And “sorry” won’t cut it bc it will feel fake coming out of his mouth. But to say “thank you”? That means more because it’s gratitude that the village tolerated him after what happened and for his previous grievances, that they were patient with him, heck! That they didn’t start throwing stones at him to leave the village once the secret was out! It’s the sincerity of his appreciation towards the village people. 

Anyway, Tian says “thank you” and leaves. 

This part hurts me because we see Khama’s reaction. Khama is a parent who sees a child in need but he knows if Tian doesn’t want to open up, he can’t force him. So instead he watches him go, someone who resembles so much of his own son. He probably even thought of calling him back, to talk to him. 

Then not even a few minutes later, Longtae comes out to where his dad is and Khama gives the shirt to him. 

Now this is where the scene becomes even more amazing! Because here is Tian’s mirror (i’ll do another post about this later if u want but listen) who is also feeling conflicted and restless and seeking comfort and guidance. Thus begins the awkward I’m-waiting-for-you-to-say-something shuffle between the two of them. 

What’s so interesting is that the two already have an understanding, sort of. Father and son, they know each other’s cues by now. So Longtae waits, fiddling with the shirt, not knowing how to put whatever he feels into words but knowing that he needs to do something. So he sighs. 

Khama sees his son and understands that Longtae is waiting. Thus begins the anecdote. 

(again please rewatch the scenes cuz the pictures don’t do it justice and it hurts me) 

This is the peak climax of this sequence because through this anecdote, it can go both ways. It is a story about how the reasons why we do things can sometimes not be of malicious origin, but it is what we need to do to protect ourselves. A story about there being more than one kind of truth. 

It fits for Longtae because it makes him think about how two sides of what Tian told him (“Torfun is dead [..] Her [donated] heart helped me to live on.” vs “The person who gave me this heart was Torfun. [She] passed away. And it was me . . . I’m responsible for her death.”) is just one whole story that he needs to consider. 

If Tian stayed a little longer, I think Khama would’ve said the same thing to him because it fits him too: he was someone who lied to protect himself but kept lying because he knew how devastating the truth would be. Hearing the story would give Tian solace that Khama understands that Tian’s truth is his alone and he has his reasons for doing what he did. And ofc Khama would’ve patted him on the shoulder and said “Think about it, son” just like with Longtae. ;0;

Just Longtae’s face says it all, for me. He’s really absorbing what his father told him. Really trying to understand his feelings and where he wants to be: in opposition to Tian or trying to understand him.

(Hi, if you can, check the 2nd part of the analysis in the reblog :) but otherwise thanks for the likes and reblogs!)