#which is part of why i like utena so much

[sinkableruby]

also something i think is really cool in episode 25 is when the sword pull version 2 starts proper, the dual chorus version of virtual star embryology starts listing out different heavens. with utenas surname being 天 (ten, heaven) and 上 (jou, up) it really feels like a moment of progress and exaltation for her (perhaps fitting considering the title of the song)

you get this as well with the ED version, where she seems to be ascending high up into the sky, into the clouds... to the castle.

[ladyloveandjustice]

A Ranking of the '4 Days of Ohtori: Someday My Revolution Will Come' Revolutionary Girl Utena Game Endings

I was commissioned to do a post ranking the endings of the Revolutionary Girl Utena dating sim based on quality and enjoyment! I did a liveblog for it for it a while ago, see here. If you know nothing about the game, I think you should read it and then come back to this post. It's a fun liveblog!

I was also asked to talk about if any of the endings work out well for the main character (who I call Purple Pigtails).

Basically all of the endings aren't ideal for Perfect Pigtails. Her dad is sick enough she has to leave Ohtori to help him iirc, she doesn't ever get to reconcile with Chigusa even though she badly wanted to (it's implied she had a crush on her despite everything, but she had to basically kill her). She also knows her dad's a piece of shit now, and that both her parents lied to her. I doubt she'll ever trust them again. She may even hate her Dad now. Her family was a lie, and that's very sad. On top of that, several of the endings imply she may come back to Ohtori which is honestly not a good thing for her!!! So none of them really work out for her, but I'm going to talk about which ones work out for her the least and the most as I rank the endings.

My favorite endings of the Utena video game, from best to worst:

Juri Ending

So, after much deliberation my favorite ending is the Juri one. The fact that her response to Purple Pigtails falling in love with her is "sorry, can't just enter a healthy lesbian relationship because I am super committed to this toxic one. You know that girl I painfully pine over while starting at her in my locket? That locket I wish I could throw away? Well I'm giving you your own pining locket to torment you with MY picture. We can be sad lesbians together."

It's just so Juri. Has to spread her unhealthy behavior everywhere. I don't think she knows any other way to deal with this stuff except to put it in a locket, keep it a secret and stare at it longingly. So she assumes Purple Pigtails needs that too. It's just...incredibly funny but also incredibly sad.

Does this ending work out for Purple Pigtails? Not really, no, she has to leave her crush behind and mirror Juri's unhealthy behavior. As long as she has that locket she can never move on or find a girlfriend. I will say she's better off than Juri though, because at least her crush doesn't try to actively torment her every chance she gets. I also think she's more likely to eventually put away the locket than Juri. She only knew Juri four days and isn't quite as fucked up as her. But then again, I could see her go on a similar quest to find Juri someday, like Utena did for her prince...but I don't think Juri will ever be in the position to be what she needs, even if she's healed and moved on. Because no real princes exist.

Then again, the fact Purple Pigtails was able to leave Ohtori at all means she was able to grow up and move on herself. She's accepted that her childhood was never what she thought it was...so maybe such a quest is unlikely. Maybe she will move on pretty quickly. Or maybe being obsessed with Juri means she will be welcomed back to Ohtori soon...

Anthy ending

My second favorite ending is the Anthy ending. The only reason it's lower than the Juri ending is that the washing each other's back scene is a little uncomfortable to watch, knowing Purple Pigtails has no trouble coercing sexual favors from Anthy. Whether this is all part of Anthy's plan or not, she is likely not enjoying this...and yet it's framed fairly comedically, which feels weird.

But otherwise? God it's perfect, so wonderfully absurd, so wonderfully Anthy. Her plan here is so elaborate and there are so many layers. There's also the question of why the hell she even did all this, which is so intriguing.

The way she's so direct with Purple Pigtails, her resentment and cynicism coming out, is great. Purple Pigtails is pretending she wants her, but she only wants power.

She also actively sabotages Utena in the fight in order get with Purple Pigtails. Why?

But after that, she also sabotages Purple Pigtails, deliberately keeping her up all night with uh. possibly sex, (again, uncomfy) to ensure she'll be too tired to concentrate the next day. But she does this so PP will lose to Utena even though Utena doesn't have a sword anymore.

Anthy played PP so thoroughly, but again, why? My theory when I first played this was Anthy was feeling guilty about her inevitable betrayal of Utena and was trying to get with Purple Pigtails, only to immediately realize there's no way PP could become a prince so she goes back to Utena.

But there are a lot of options. Maybe Anthy and/or Akio needed PP to be taken out. She was upsetting their plans somehow, so she needed to be defeated so humiliatingly she'd never try to get with Anthy again. It could explain why PP eventually left in the other endings, maybe she actually hadn't moved on, maybe Akio felt she was too much of a risk (possibly by how things got so complicated with Chigusa, too much of a distraction for the duelists) and kicked her out.

Or maybe this was all to test to find out where she was a prince candidate, and she was found wanting...considering you have to order rose tea as a prerequisite, this one's very possible.

It's all so fascinating. Maybe I should have put it as favorite...ok, let's say it's this and Juri tied.

Obviously this doesn't work out at all from Purple Pigtails Perspective. She becomes a supervillain, she's humiliatingly defeated, and she very well may be stuck at Ohtori for a long time...and fact she doesn't appear in the anime implies she's no longer friends with any of them. Maybe Akio made everyone forget about her. Maybe she was so bitter she rejected them all.

Utena's ending (Romantic Version)

(As a PS... it's very obvious the girls aren't allowed to kiss on the lips in this game, likely because of outside pressure, both Saionji and Miki get lips, while Utena and Juri do the princely forehead kiss (but you could also argue it's because they are the most "princely characters...and imitating the prince kiss is 100% in character for Utena. Also kissing a girl on the lips at this point in the story would pretty much short circuit Utena. Send her into such a lesbian crisis her heart might give out)

This ending is so sweet on the outside, but then you peel a layer back and see how fucked up it is. Utena very deliberately imitates her "prince" here, and that will someday horrify her, that she imitated Akio and got another girl obsessed with princes. And obviously that's very bad for PP too, since the thesis of Utena is the chivalrous prince who will save you is a lie.

Utena's words imply they will meet again and there's not a lot of outcomes that are good for that. One outcome is that PP goes back to Ohtori to find Utena, only to find she's already gone. But then Akio has a replacement Utena, right there. I'm not sure that would even matter, with Anthy gone, there's no way he can like, use her for anything...but he might take his anger at Utena and Anthy out on her. The better option is PP finds Utena in the real world, and sees that she and Anthy are officially girlfriends and have become healthier people. That might be good for her, actually--I'm sure Utena would encourage her to move on, find her own identity, and Utena would still want to be friends. Or she could ignore Utena andsink into bitterness and jealousy.

One of the most screwed up things about this ending is that PP basically loses her individuality and has become a copy of another person. It's not great for her that she's so wrapped up in Utena that it's her identity now. It's very sad just like it was with Anthy in the manga.

So no, I don't think this ending goes well for Purple Pigtails at all. She loses who she is, becomes obsessed with something that's just a false patriarchal idol, and that makes her vulnerable to Ohtori. Her only hope is finding Utena in the real world, and Utena making up for her past mistake.

Miki's ending

It was such a chore to get to this ending, but it's worth it for how funny it is. Purple Pigtails immediately deciding she actually wasn't in love with Miki after all (hint it's because she's a lesbian hint) and just. blowing him off, pretending she has a boyfriend back home. Legendary of her, and honestly Miki kind of deserves it. From his perspective it must feel like she really played with his feelings, though.

Because it doesn't exist, Miki!!! It was never real!!!!

She does say she "likes younger boys" after this, but that's just what she's telling herself. Someday she'll realize. Hopefully.

I think its interesting that Miki is the only one in this game who explicitly actually has feelings for her. He is able to move on from his sister (sort of. I mean at the very least iirc he never compares PP to Kozue that I can remember. Which is HUGE for him), but none of the rest can move on past their obsessions.

I actually think this works out pretty well for PP. She's not too attached to Miki, so she's unlikely to go back to Ohtori, and it doesn't break her heart to leave him, she's still herself, and I think she'll be able to move on.

Touga Ending (italicized since I haven't seen the whole route)

I haven't fully watched this route, so I don't know what it takes to get there. If I did it might affect my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. But while this ending is so mean and horrible, it is also so darkly funny. Touga distilled. He's such a asshole that it is impossible to get any thing positive from your ending with him even in a dating sim, and that's amazing. You think you've won but you lost. You lost the second you decided to date Touga.

Basically, Touga promises he will write PP every single day, and he will come visit her too, and she's ecstatic.

And then he goes and burns her address, calling her stupid, because of course he fucking does. Thus PP is totally ghosted, left despairing and wondering why.

It is also very interesting he's the only love interest she does NOT get a kiss from, unexpected since Touga has not problem kissing girls he does not give a shit about. Either he just, genuinely hates her guts THAT much or he's ---

ahhh shit. I just looked it up. You can have PP have sex with him. In fact you have to actively avoid it if you don't want to. So that's why he doesn't need a kiss. Her already got what he wanted. That actually makes this ending so much more heartbreaking, a lot of girls place a lot of importance on their first time, and PP was treated so cruelly with hers. This goddamn prick.

It is horrible, but it is exactly what I'd expect Touga to do (esp since this is set so early in the story) and I think it's incredible the game was so true to his character that you just get a straightforward unhappy ending when you date him. The others at least APPEAR a little happy, though they're quite sad when you think about them for long, but the game makes no pretenses with Touga. It just goes "no, you got nothing good out of this relationship, this man is trash, he played you like he does everyone"

Obviously this is pretty sad for Purple Pigtails, who gets manipulated and ghosted, and, depending on your choices, gets to have the lovely experience of a horrible older boy manipulating her, fucking her, and throwing her away at the tender age of 14. But, assuming she is able to move on (I hope so?) this might be happier than others for her in the long run (especially if she avoids having sex with him). Touga ghosting her means he won't be able to torment her further, and that's better than any other option with him. Unless, of course, she goes back to Ohtori to get an explanation...

Perfect Ending

I do like the perfect ending bc of the funny interactions the council get in--Juri teasing Miki about liking older girls and Miki getting extremely flustered, Touga being so fucking annoying especially when he insists on calling Saionji BEST FRIEND over and over until Saionji is like "can you shut the fuck up''...

The goodbye with Utena is fairly generic though, just the tiniest bit gay. One thing that is interesting for this ending is PP wanting to learn fencing.

It's ambiguous who she's talking about here, she could even mean Chigusa despite the fact she's deader than dead, or it could be "we don't know which person she's most attracted too ooooh".

As far as working out for Purple Pigtails? She escapes romantic trauma, which is great for her, but she seems really determined to go back to Ohtori in this one, and as has been said many times, that is not good for her.

Akio Ending

I considered rating this higher bc it's so funny how PP calls Akio on his bullshit.

But there's the fact that PP's particular Akio ending is even more uh, rape-coded than any other Akio car ride, IIRC? It's not only the fact she's underage, but she actively begs Akio to stop. But of course that motherfucker doesn't listen.

It's honestly so sad so that kind of ruins any fun. Which doesn't make it bad, but i don't like thinking about that part.

This is the second worst ending for PP. Just like the Black Rose and Anthy endings, she's still at Ohtori and has no friends, but there's the sexual assault aspect on top of that. She will be so traumatized, and on top of that she lost humiliatingly, while Akio basically called her worthless.

Saionji ending

Saionji's ending is both kind of boring and vaguely interesting. (And I'm ranking it like this on the assumption Saionji never hit her, which I assume he didn't from the Youtube comments. While he would definitely be cruel to a gf in multiple ways if she stuck around enough, I think it's possible the only person he would physically abuse while dating is Anthy. which is. something to analyze.) Saionji is (blessedly) silent during most of this ending. only saying "I owe you a lot" when he gives her the present (implying she's been kind of for caring for him, wet pathetic dog that he is, which does fit with the snippets I've seen of this route and echoes his relationship with Wakaba)

Saionji does give her his little leaf (apparently the only present he's capable of making?? like if he can carve this leaf he must know how to carve other things, right??? maybe it's just the carving he's best at) but PP knows he's too obsessed with Anthy (and Touga. the obsession with Anthy is just an extension of an obsession with Touga lets all be honest here) to return her feelings and they're both pretty honest and open about things. But THEN she claims she'll come back and make him look her way someday.. AND THEN she just plants one on him out of nowhere. Girl, you forget about consent!

Honestly Saionji just seems extremely confused and freaked out about it, even his expression afterwards, which makes me feel bad for him, something I'd never thought I'd say in my life. It's kind of interesting to see him like that. But...it doesn't stand out too much other than that. It's kind of just like. okay girl. calm down.

This one does not work out perfectly for PP since she seems pretty determined to come back to Ohtori and make Saionji love her, which is definitely never going to happen. But she doesn't lose her identity, doesn't get a pining locket, Saionji is surprisingly nice to her, unlike Wakaba she knows she doesn't have a chance right now, so she wasn't hugely disappointed...so it could be worse.

Utena Friendship Ending

Basically the same at the perfect ending, except we never get to see any fun interactions between the group. Boring.

Black Rose Ending

This one claims PP is obsessed with books, which has never come up in the game before, so it feels out of nowhere and like it wasn't properly developed. There's not much to dig into, when there should be. And her defeat is basically the same as the Akio endings, so it doesn't add much.

(Utena is being so mean here!!!! You know she's brainwashed why are you being an asshole about her skill!)

One the worst endings from PP's perspective, her mind is messed with, she literally has no friends, and she's stuck at Ohtori.

Game over

Obviously a Game Over is pretty boring. The game just ends. Bye.

I think PP would disappear from the world in the game over ending, just like Chigusa wanted. So this is the worst ending for her, she not only dies. she's erased from existence. At least in the other endings she gets to live.

(also I think either this one or the perfect ending are canon for the anime. The game over ending makes a lot of sense, since they would all forget PP and all that happened with her ever existed, and that would be the explanation for why she's never mentioned in the anime. But the more optimistic take is that the perfect ending is canon, and nobody ever mentions her because she just doesn't come up.

So there's my favorites ranked from best to worst.

NOW let's rank the endings from worst to best for Perfect Pigtails!

Game Over (she dies)

Akio Car Ending

Black Rose Ending

Anthy Ending (it's possible for her to have friends in this one)

Touga Ending (provided a) he has sex with her and b) she is unable to move on from what happened. Without those two factors though, it's under Utena's in the long run)

Utena Ending

Juri Ending

Saionji Ending

Perfect Ending

Miki Ending is the best one for her, weirdly! (Or at least my interpretation of it. She got out unscathed and has no desire to return to Ohtori!)

---

And those are my rankings! I hope everyone who read this far enjoyed the rambling.

[haru-dipthong]

Fansub Release + Translation Notes on Utena Ep 16

I’ve been dreading this episode since the beginning of this project. Most translations of the cowbell episode have two major problems that I knew were going to be really hard to overcome in my translation.

How on earth does Nanami not know that a COWbell is something that a COW wears?

Why does Nanami keep saying moo in regular conversation?

When I actually got into the translation though, it was so much more difficult than I had even anticipated! Not only were there two very large episode-spanning translation problems to solve, but there were also TONS of difficult individual lines. And on top of it all, a song to translate!

I was not happy at all with my first draft. I sent it to @dontbe-lasanya and went to bed. When I woke up and saw their edit, it was like magic. They had transformed my extremely rough script into a work of art! I’m so so happy with this episode now, and the majority of the credit for that has to go to Anya.

So anyway, how did we fix those two big problems?

How on earth does Nanami not know that a COWbell is something that a COW wears?

Obviously the Japanese word for cow is not “cow”. It’s 牛 (ushi). However, the Japanese word for cowbell is カウベル (kauberu) — it’s a loanword; it’s just “cowbell” turned into katakana. There’s no obvious connection between the words for “cowbell” and “cow” in Japanese, unlike English. Also, カウベル is not a very familiar word for most Japanese kids and teens (the target audience of Utena) and sounds foreign and therefore fancy (given the right context). On the other hand “cowbell” is a very familiar word in English, or even if it isn’t, “cow” and “bell” are. It also doesn’t sound fancy or foreign.

In Japanese, Nanami falls into some cringeworthy teenage social pitfalls in this episode. 1. The classic japanese kid thing of assuming katakana loanwords are cool or fancy. 2. The universal kid thing of pretending to know a word she doesn’t know to seem smart/cool. These things are like, a HUGE part of the conceit of the episode. IMO, it’s crucially important to get these ideas across in the translation. To fail to do so (i.e. by translating カウベル as “cowbell”) would be akin to cutting out the first 8 minutes of the episode.

Translators will often translate katakana loanwords directly back into the original word, but that clearly doesn’t work here. Anya decided to go with almglocken as the translation for カウベル because Miki is the first person to give the cowbell its name, and almglocken doubles as the orchestral term for a musical cowbell (plus the yodelling in the cutaway scenes really sells the German choice, which we only discovered after we had committed to it!). I love how that scene feels where Miki names the bell - it really feels like he and Juri call it an “almglocken” and Nanami just goes along with it, not wanting to admit that she doesn’t know what almglocken means. She totally reads as a stupid kid who wants to be a part of European high fashion without actually knowing anything, which is exactly how she reads in the original Japanese script!

Why does Nanami keep saying moo in regular conversation?

First things first — the sound a cow makes in Japanese is not “moo”. It’s モー (mō/mou) which is prounounced almost exactly like the English word “more” in non-rhotic accents like my Australian accent. In an American accent it probably sounds like “mall” without the ending L sound.

So, cows say “mou”. But もう (mou) is also a dictionary word in Japanese. It can mean “already” as in “I already did that”, but it can also be used as an interjection (similar, but not exactly the same, to how “already” can also be used as an interjection as in “enough already!”). もう (mou) carries other nuances with it as well — there is a cultural image that teenage mean-girl types (like gyaru) tend to use it a lot. I like translating it as “ugh”, which I did several times in this episode.

The writers are getting a lot out of the cow metaphor in this episode. There’s the whole thing with Touga selling Nanami away as a metaphor for his manipulation of her (and women in general) in order for him to gain patriarchal power (he even eats her meat!!). But there’s also this equating of cow mooing with the word もう which is associated with young girls. Whenever Nanami moos this episode, even right up until the end when she physically transforms into a cow, you could translate it as “ugh” if you didn’t want to preserve the cow sound meaning. Every moo fits into her sentences as a bitchy interjection.

This is a hard thing to get across in translation, so I used a combined approach. Sometimes I directly translated もう as “ugh”, which morphed into “mm-ugh” and then “muuoo”. Other times I compensated by using words with “ooo” sounds in them and drawing out the sound (like “moOOove”.

Dona, dona, dona, donaaaa

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, while translating the song, I made particular pains to match the meter of the Japanese lyrics with the English lyrics.

あるはれた　ひるさがり　いちば　へつづくみち

One day on a clear lazy afternoon, on the road to the marketplace

A literal translation of the line would be something like this

One clear afternoon, on the road to the market

But I’m sure you can see how this doesn’t have nearly enough syllables, much less stress on the correct syllables. Because Japanese has less consecutive consonants, it tends to have words with more syllables, but shorter syllables than English. They don’t have words like “cramp” where 4 consonant sounds exist in one syllable — usually there’s only 1 consonant per syllable. This means that if we’re matching beat-for-beat, English can fit more words in per bar, which means when translating literally, we end up with lyrics that are too short! That’s why I’ve added “One day on a” and “lazy” and extended “market” to “marketplace”. This came up constantly during the translation of the song, where I was consistently needing to create words that didn’t exist in the original to keep the meter similar.

A few little notes to finish

This scene where the girls in PE class are chanting ファイト！(faito) while they run is hilarious to me because both other translations I have access to translated it as “Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” which is just… not what they’re saying. Obviously in English chanting “fight!” makes it sound like you’re encouraging two people to physically fight. In Japanese, ファイト is a loanword and does come from the English word “fight”, but it only means “fight” in the sense of like, metaphorically fighting: overcoming mental barriers, pushing through, doing your best. They’re just chanting to get their motivation up. I translated it as “Move those feet! Move those feet!” so that when Nanami brings up the rear I could switch it to “MoOOove those feet!”

Translating it as “Fight! Fight!” is just completely unacceptable no matter what your translation goals are tbh. If you care about “preserving aspects of Japanese culture” in the translation, you should translate it as “Faito! Faito!” or “Fighto! Fighto!”.

I want to note that I’m so happy with how the characters talk about fashion. They really sound like they know what they’re talking about (thanks to Anya). So much of the time translations sound like they were written by someone who doesn’t have any knowledge about the field the characters are talking about, which makes the dialogue sound super forced even when the characters ARE supposed to know what they’re talking about. To give another example, Anya flagged this before with how Touga talks about Miki’s piano playing. The standards are so low for this kind of thing that my limited knowledge of music helped me write a translation that sounded knowledgeable enough to be worth commenting on!

Also, I’m REALLY glad we went with “dyke” as the translation for 男女 (otoko-onna) a few episodes ago. Nanami uses that word again this episode and Utena’s reaction really works with the slur.

Thank you so much again to @dontbe-lasanya. This episode wouldn’t have been possible without you!

Be sure to follow the blog to stay updated with new episode releases! See below for all episodes released so far.

[transmascutena]

okay so i love drawing parallels between characters -- and i especially love drawing parallels between characters who seemingly have nothing in common -- and in a show where every character is a mirror of one another, i think kozue and utena might be the two who are the least alike. so i wanna talk (ramble) about them.

what does it mean that kozue and utena both have an injured ankle on their 'date' with akio?

i think it has something to do with restricted movement meaning restricted agency.

utena's injured ankle means she can't walk on her own, which means she would not be able to escape her situation if she wanted to. kozue on the other hand can walk, and chooses to go in the car, but i think they're both ultimately in a similar situation of believing they have more agency than they do in their relationships with akio.

kozue is more convinced of this because she's used to using romance and sexuality to get what she wants. she believes that she is using akio just as much as he is using her, and is fine with that arrangement (this is, i think, similar to touga's mentality. they both believe they're getting something out of their relationships with akio, which is why they stay.) but, of course, no matter how nefarious your intent is, it will never make up for the power imbalance between a child and an adult.

utena is... well it's more complicated. i don't think she's at all aware of what she wants, and she certainly does not think that akio is using her. (if anything she might think she's using him, and feels guilty about it.) she doesn't stay despite the abuse, she stays because she doesn't know about it. kozue knows akio is a bad person and doesn't care -- utena thinks he's a good person. akio takes advantage of both of these things in a pretty similar way. he makes all of his victims think that they are entirely in control of their own actions, even when they aren't. he makes kozue believe she is just as selfish as he is, and he makes utena believe that everything he does to her is her own fault. both of these things also conviniently serve to make sure neither of them ever tell anyone. (not entirely true. kozue does tell miki on his car ride, but it doesn't end up mattering at all)

then there's how they each got their injuries. utena's was either directly or indrectly akio's fault, depending on interpretation, whereas kozue's came from a decision she made that had nothing to do with him. i think this mainly reflects that kozue is not part of akio's plan in any significant way, whereas utena obviously is. he needed to personally restrict utena's agency, whereas he only took advantage of the way kozue has limited her own agency via the choices she makes (and the structure she lives in that pressured her into said choices, of course. i hope i don't sound like i'm victim blaming.) this again ties into kozue being able to walk despite her injury where utena can't -- kozue is much more free to leave her situation.

[cafeleningrad]

No, I don't think that RGU "subverts fairy tale narratives". On the contrary. I don't know how intentional the writing was on the writer's part but RGU's themes, structure, and resolution are much closer aligned to the Grimm-fashion fairy tales than the manicured opening sequence might make the viewer believe. At some points they do conciously reference fairy tales whilst alos having a good grasp on it's story contents. In fact, the opening sequence is less accurate about fairy tales than the actual plot of RGU.

Anyhow, actually a quick rambling how many fairy tale motives are in Utena. some referenced to, some overtly named, some just by my personal associciation:

The only fairy tale where the story is actually changed is Sleeping Beauty. There the visual reference is extremely strong with the duel plattform (a tower) being hidden in a forbidden forest, surrounded by thorns and roses, a princess waiting/sleeping (in her coffin) on a bed of roses. But unlike in the tale, the princess isn't woken up by the whimse of the prince but is allowed to choose if she even wants to wake up. [By the way, here's an essay comparing the pschycological literary interpretation of (The contemporary reading of) Sleeping Beauty with RGU.]

On the theme of girl locked away in a tower: Rapunzel come to my mind. Indeed Rapunzel loves her prince but he's also her co-conspirator as well as mean to escape her captivity. Their scheming is interrupted, both get horribly injured while attempting to escape. They both wnader around for a long time until their finally find each other. Scarred, they still are deeply happy to have found each other once more.

One OST track is titled "Bluebeard's castle". So fitting to be played in Akio's tower. The titular Bluebeard appears at first charming. Yet his bride discovers his secret chamber of previously killed women, relaizing what a monster her once so enarmoured husband is. It's a fairy tale beginning with a slight snese of unease, building up dread the longer the bride resides in the castle. What a perfect association for Akio's facade and body count of abuse.

The next Bluebeard in the making, Touga explicitly compares Utena with "the golden Goose"; In which every one tries to rip out the bird's golden feathers, creating a gigantic queue of greed. Even though Touga most likely wants to compare Utena to something precious worth exploiting, his comparison misses how the goose's doing finally made a princess laugh, and none actually was able to rip out the precious gold feathers.

Speaking of animals... In an conversation during which Nanami has a hard time naming her ever growing distress towards Touga's and her relationships, one statue in the background switches in the form of the "Musicians of Bremen". Nanami carriesway more animal associations than even Anthy. In fact Nanami turning into a cow is her being treated as domestic labour animal. In "The musicians of Bremen", labour animals are to be slaughtered after they can't labour anymore. So they flee their circumstances, band together (heh), and find a new home as band of misfits. Whereas the statue is a string of visual warnings about Nanami's dangerous situation, it gives me hope, that Nanami might, like the Bremen musicians, escape to a not glamorous but future full of support and friendship.

Last association coming to my mind. This is an entire free-falls association but with so many Utena-Nanami-paralles, why not make an animal comparison, too? Utena reminds me so much of the "Puss in Boots". Not destined to be anything but a cat, anything but a girl, she puts on clothing that shoul dnot be hers. It suits her quiet well. Yet the puss does it's deeds to help out their master who gave her the boots. They trick an evil magician with nothing but cleverness and ligt up their master into fortune. Utena doesn't help out of thanksfulness yet, like the cat, she does act out of care and adoration for the rose bride, and triumphs over a sinister figure that seemed once so overly powerful. LIke the wizard turning himself into a mouse, Akio turns out to not be overly powerful but actually a scared manchild who refuses to grow up, and actually isn't the allmighty figure he paints himself to be.

[Bonus: Saionji as the frog prince. Very serious analysis. Even though the popular image is one of a princess kissing a frog, and him turning into a prince, the actual tale is... not so gentle. The frog asks the princess to take hiom with her, in return to giving her back the ball that actually belongs to her. The princess feels humiliated having to play-act a romantic dinner scene at the frog's demands to sit on her side and be fed. Her protests are overruled by her father reprimanding her to hold her promise towards the frog. (Anthy mentioning how Akio is more like her father to her.) But the princess has her fill with the impertinent frog, throws him against a wall, and there: He becomes a prince. The parallels between Saionji getting beat up like a punching bag until he finally chills (somewhat) down are almost too obvious. Also, the frog and him share the colour green.]

In general, fairy tales often feature disempowered protagonists, often young women, most of the time they aren't even royalty. The protagonists often survive the most dire consequences by cleverness, resourcefulness but also their kindness to strangers - not raw power or powerful magic. I've no idea why people claim that retellings are "dark", "misbehaving", or "adult" because not only is it inaccurate to whom fairy tales were told, but even in format of children's publications, fairy tales are incredibly dark already. Children's fears of abusive parents, being neglected, mistrateatment, poverty, the world being scary being forsaken by mistakes by those who were supposed to care for the child, domestic violence, even incestuous abuse do feature in fairy tales - however, the protagonists survive the most dire of straits. Even if hurt in the process, they surivive, and "lived happily ever aftere". It's a faint, promise that they found happiness anyway. How similar it rings with "someday we will shine". If these common elements don't ressemble Utena's journey, and the circumstances of her friends, i don't know what else would bear a stronger ressemblance.

Apart from Anthy's and Akio's vague connection to godhood, and allegory, none of the kinds is special. Utena is a classic fairy tale orphan child, no special parentage, only her role as protagonist follows her fending off the darkness around her.

[empty-movement]

May I ask what scanners / equipment / software you're using in the utena art book project? I'm an artist and half the reason I rarely do traditional art is because I'm never happy with the artwork after it's scanned in. But the level of detail even in the blacks of Utena's uniform were all captured so beautifully! And even the very light colors are showing up so well! I'd love to know how you manage!

You know what's really fun? This used to be something you put in your site information section, the software and tools used! Not something that's as normal anymore, but let's give it a go, sorry it's long because I don't know what's new information and what's not! Herein: VANNA'S 'THIS IS AS SPECIFIC AS MY BREAK IS LONG' GUIDE/AIMLESS UNEDITED RAMBLE ABOUT SCANNING IMAGES

Scanning: Modern scanners, by and large, are shit for this. The audience for scanning has narrowed to business and work from home applications that favor text OCR, speed, and efficiency over archiving and scanning of photos and other such visual media. It makes sense--there was a time when scanning your family photographs and such was a popular expected use of a scanner, but these days, the presumption is anything like that is already digital--what would you need the scanner to do that for? The scanner I used for this project is the same one I have been using for *checks notes* a decade now. I use an Epson Perfection V500. Because it is explicitly intended to be a photo scanner, it does threebthings that at this point, you will pay a niche user premium for in a scanner: extremely high DPI (dots per inch), extremely wide color range, and true lossless raws (BMP/TIFF.) I scan low quality print media at 600dpi, high quality print media at 1200 dpi, and this artbook I scanned at 2400 dpi. This is obscene and results in files that are entire GB in size, but for my purposes and my approach, the largest, clearest, rawest copy of whatever I'm scanning is my goal. I don't rely on the scanner to do any post-processing. (At these sizes, the post-processing capacity of the scanner is rendered moot, anyway.) I will replace this scanner when it breaks by buying another identical one if I can find it. I have dropped, disassembled to clean, and abused this thing for a decade and I can't believe it still tolerates my shit. The trade off? Only a couple of my computers will run the ancient capture software right. LMAO. I spent a good week investigating scanners because of the insane Newtype project on my backburner, and the quality available to me now in a scanner is so depleted without spending over a thousand on one, that I'd probably just spin up a computer with Windows 7 on it just to use this one. That's how much of a difference the decade has made in what scanners do and why. (Enshittification attacks! Yes, there are multiple consumer computer products that have actually declined in quality over the last decade.)

Post-processing: Photoshop. Sorry. I have been using Photoshop for literally decades now, it's the demon I know. While CSP is absolutely probably the better piece of software for most uses (art,) Photoshop is...well it's in the name. In all likelihood though, CSP can do all these things, and is a better product to give money to. I just don't know how. NOTENOTENOTE: Anywhere I discuss descreening and print moire I am specifically talking about how to clean up *printed media.* If you are scanning your own painting, this will not be a problem, but everything else about this advice will stand! The first thing you do with a 2400 dpi scan of Utena and Anthy hugging? Well, you open it in Photoshop, which you may or may not have paid for. Then you use a third party developer's plug-in to Descreen the image. I use Sattva. Now this may or may not be what you want in archiving!!! If fidelity to the original scan is the point, you may pass on this part--you are trying to preserve the print screen, moire, half-tones, and other ways print media tricks the eye. If you're me, this tool helps translate the raw scan of the printed dots on the page into the smooth color image you see in person. From there, the vast majority of your efforts will boil down to the following Photoshop tools: Levels/Curves, Color Balance, and Selective Color. Dust and Scratches, Median, Blur, and Remove Noise will also be close friends of the printed page to digital format archiver. Once you're happy with the broad strokes, you can start cropping and sizing it down to something reasonable. If you are dealing with lots of images with the same needs, like when I've scanned doujinshi pages, you can often streamline a lot of this using Photoshop Actions.

My blacks and whites are coming out so vivid this time because I do all color post-processing in Photoshop after the fact, after a descreen tool has been used to translate the dot matrix colors to solids they're intended to portray--in my experience trying to color correct for dark and light colors is a hot mess until that process is done, because Photoshop sees the full range of the dots on the image and the colors they comprise, instead of actually blending them into their intended shades. I don't correct the levels until I've descreened to some extent.

As you can see, the print pattern contains the information of the original painting, but if you try to correct the blacks and whites, you'll get a janky mess. *Then* you change the Levels:

If you've ever edited audio, then dealing with photo Levels and Curves will be familiar to you! A well cut and cleaned piece of audio will not cut off the highs and lows, but also will make sure it uses the full range available to it. Modern scanners are trying to do this all for you, so they blow out the colors and increase the brightness and contrast significantly, because solid blacks and solid whites are often the entire thing you're aiming for--document scanning, basically. This is like when audio is made so loud details at the high and low get cut off. Boo.

What I get instead is as much detail as possible, but also at a volume that needs correcting:

Cutting off the unused color ranges (in this case it's all dark), you get the best chance of capturing the original black and white range:

In some cases, I edit beyond this--for doujinshi scans, I aim for solid blacks and whites, because I need the file sizes to be normal and can't spend gigs of space on dust. For accuracy though, this is where I'd generally stop.

For scanning artwork, the major factor here that may be fucking up your game? Yep. The scanner. Modern scanners are like cheap microphones that blow out the audio, when what you want is the ancient microphone that captures your cat farting in the next room over. While you can compensate A LOT in Photoshop and bring out blacks and whites that scanners fuck up, at the end of the day, what's probably stopping you up is that you want to use your scanner for something scanners are no longer designed to do well. If you aren't crazy like me and likely to get a vintage scanner for this purpose, keep in mind that what you are looking for is specifically *a photo scanner.* These are the ones designed to capture the most range, and at the highest DPI. It will be a flatbed. Don't waste your time with anything else.

Hot tip: if you aren't scanning often, look into your local library or photo processing store. They will have access to modern scanners that specialize in the same priorities I've listed here, and many will scan to your specifications (high dpi, lossless.)

Ahem. I hope that helps, and or was interesting to someone!!!

[jurishouldconisderlettingmesniff]

Why I think ChuChu is used as a distraction and a metaphor/why I think people need to view Utena in the same way they view Surrealist paintings

Something that I don’t think enough people understand about Utena Revolutionary girl, is that ever frame is meant to be viewed under a classical art eye.

This simple still, a lot of people will discount it. Think that it’s not important to Utena’s Character. This is a moment in which Utena is doubting herself, and the show is trying to purposely distract your attention to ChuChu, all to throw off your perception of Utena as a character. This universe doesn’t want you to view Utena as anything other than a justified, righteous Prince. At least for now. The show itself wants to devalue Utena’s doubt in herself, in favor of projecting her security in herself. And you might say, “Hey that’s crazy talk!” But that’s the thing, this show tried to distract you on purpose multiple time. All in an effort to trick your perception, in the same way that the characters perceptions are being tricked.

ChuChu is seen as a joke character, yet he shows very early on that there was something abnormal with this specific dress. The packets he’s holding are humidity/moister absorption packets. It is a visual premonition of what is yet to come, as Anthy’s dress dissolves from moisture. Yet the show is purposefully trying to make the viewer feel as though it’s unimportant because it’s the “mascot” “pet” figure.

This scene as well, ChuChu is not only used as a physical barrier, but a mental barrier. Even though this scene is very serious, showing Utena and her toxic counterpart when they first meet. These characters are meant to be foils of each other, showing not only the worst parts of Utena’s character, but also how she differs from what she could be. And how her choices could lead her to a similar fate. Utena is still climbing upwards, while her counterpart has reached the precipice of what he can be. She is free to continue moving forward, while he is stuck. And yet, the scene is still trying to distract you with the silliness of ChuChu, almost as if to relieve some of the tension.

As the show goes on, it uses ChuChu as less of a distraction tool, and leans more into what ChuChu represents conceptually. Utena, in this moment, is projecting onto ChuChu. She is worried about what Anthy is doing, but doesn’t want or know how to admit it. So Utena projects those fears onto ChuChu, who is this moment being used as a vehicle for Utena’s internal feelings.

But anyways, this is the kind of stuff I feel like people miss when they watch Utena, because of how they are viewing it. People judge it off of anime standards, when really it should be judged and interpreted as a piece of surrealist artwork. Look at the camera view, the positioning of stills, the distance and stance of characters. It is much more complex than most give it credit for.

[jenatwork]

I finally finished my Utena re-watch yesterday, binging the last three episodes and Adolescence in one evening, and I am Having Thoughts. Mostly about the story from Akio's perspective, surprisingly.

I don't know if I've ever read anyone's exploration of the story from his pov, so I'm going to brain-vomit about it.

From his pov, he's the one who's trapped. The Rose Bride sealed Dios away from the world, whether for his own good or to keep her brother to herself, or both. The princely part of him, Dios, is trapped, leaving only the human part of him, Akio, out in the world, trying to regain what he's lost and cope without what he sees as his 'real' power. 'The power to revolutionise the world' is, for him, the regaining of his heroic princely aspect that made him something close to a god among mortals, a natural leader, the greatest warrior.

So what is he left with? What does a regular human man have with which to find his place in the world? What is his role, if not a prince? Is he a ladies' man? An intellectual? A fighter? A logical realist who denies the 'miracles' the prince could perform to keep people safe?

It's clear from the Black Rose arc, and from the final scenes, that Akio has repeated the duels in some form many times, assuming that he needs the right sword to open the Rose Gate and access his old power. He holds this 'might makes right' belief that physical strength or a warrior's weapon is the key to power. When Utena, just a girl, succeeds as the winner of the duels, at first he tries to persuade her to stand down, because how could a girl's sword possibly be strong enough to open the Gate? I wondered, during this watch, if this cycle was the first time that any girls had taken part in the duels, and whether that was by design or accidental. In the Black Rose arc, it's 100 boys who are drawn in to find the power or the eternal something. In this latest cycle, it's the student council, a power structure that represents intellectual masculinity: Juri, as a lesbian in a uniform closer to her male counterparts than to the other female students, might possibly have been the first girl to join the duels, an unintentional outcome perhaps inspired by Mikage, who was more easily tempted by a boy than by that boy's older sister. She still represented an aspect of masculinity in her own way, as the logical realist who denies miracles. Likewise, Nanami joins the duels initially to stand in for her brother, and leaves when she is confronted by how damaging the system is to the very people it's supposed to protect.

I wondered if perhaps Utena was never meant to join the duels. If Dios had meant to find Touga and Saionji on that particular day, and stumbled on Utena because they did. If Utena joining and winning the duels was never part of Akio's plan, and that's why he, and all the others, are so perplexed by her and never figure out how to get the better of her. Akio tries to force her into the role of 'Girl' because all he knows is playing the role of 'Man', and what else is a man supposed to do with a girl besides protect her or seduce her?

Utena succeeds because, for all her talk about wanting to be a prince to rescue girls, she gives up that roleplay and acts of of genuine love and compassion. She succeeds in besting the Rose Bride's curse because she doesn't approach it like a man, trying to seduce, fight, or logic her way through, but by loving Anthy and by having the compassion to want to end her pain.

Utena is still very much about smashing the patriarchy (literally in the case of Adolescence), but in its own way it also artfully deconstructs the ways in which patriarchy hurts men too, by limiting the roles available to them. Utena offers an alternative to the masculine roles of warrior, lover, intellectual and cynic, as well as to the feminine role of princess. The student council recognise it in the end, but Akio never does, because he is so utterly stuck in his role. That's why Anthy gets to leave at the end, telling him he's the one that's trapped, because Utena showed her that she, and we, can choose our own roles.

[calypsolemon]

okay let’s try and analyze anthy’s reactions during duels and why she sometimes is just completely still and other times she’s like “utena watch out!!” and other times she’s full on interfering. also how her relationship with utena and vice versa changes during the whole season

Lune you had no clue how much you were asking for when you sent this partway thru our watchthru lmaooo

I think the easiest question to answer here is "why she is completely still sometimes" and well it's that... most of the time she doesn't need to do anything. Anthy has been acting as the rose bride for what is clearly a looong time, and her "job" (her real job, as commanded by Akio, not what she presents to the duelists) essentially amounts to subtly manipulating people into projecting their desires onto her, so they will fight to own her. Usually, by the time they are at the arena clashing swords, Anthy has already done everything she needs to - the pawns are in place so to speak, she only needs to watch them play out their parts.

Beyond that, Anthy is generally emotionally disconnected from what goes on in the duels, despite the fact that they influence who she is going to have to live with. Though some duelists may, on a surface-level, treat Anthy better than others, and that might lead her to attempt to subtly push duels in her favor when she can, she ultimately sees her abuse at the hands of duelists as an inevitability, just another Thursday in the life of the Rose Bride. Therefore, apathy is the default Anthy emotion for any given duel.

So lets talk about the times when she is Very Much Not Apathetic

From the very first duel, she actually does express shock at Utena winning the duel with just a wooden sword. I will be honest, I dont actually put much weight onto this moment. I think its just sort of a natural reaction to someone so uninvested in either Anthy or the power she represents, winning the duel in such a dramatic way. I'm not even sure at this point she's clued in to Utena embodying Dios.

More notably, we have Miki's duel, which is the first true sign of mid-duel intervention by Anthy. By this point Utena has had an actual moment of "Dios coming down from the castle to possess her," which... depending on your reading means either Anthy, Akio, or both see some sort of potential in Utena. So she blatantly throws the duel for Miki by directly contrasting the idea of protecting her she's purposefully built up till this point.

The most notable reaction from the first arc, though, would be in the second duel against Touga.

This is after we get one of the only direct confirmations in this arc that Anthy is actually beginning to care for Utena; the scene where she is sitting alone, imagining Utena across from her at the table. In this moment, when Utena is fighting for her princely ideals despite the risk of actual death, Anthy is (for lack of a better term) triggered into recalling when Dios was gravely injured and still attempting to act as prince. And whether it is through the protective instincts of those memories, or just straight up being pulled out of concentration of what she's doing, it causes her to accidentally throw the duel for Touga, by rescinding her power from his sword.

So, we basically have two precedents set for Anthy reacting during duels: She sometimes consciously interferes as a strategic move, and she sometimes has a genuine emotional reaction, usually in relation to her memories of Dios being triggered and/or potential care for Utena. I don't actually think these two things are mutually exclusive, however, and they become muddled as we move into the Black Rose Arc.

Anthy definitely begins to be a lot more lively during these duels, from interacting with the objects on the tables, to giving Utena's sword the blessing, to yelling for her as she catches her mid-air. Is this because she genuinely cares for or is concerned about Utena? Is projecting Dios onto her? Or is it just because Utena winning is what is necessary for the duels to function? Maybe some combo of all? Who knows

The most notable Black Rose Duel reaction, to me personally, is when Anthy downright demands Utena pull the sword from her against Wakaba. Its very uncharacteristic of her, and I believe its because, despite the Black Rose Duels being something she has a hand in, she may genuinely be concerned for her own life here, as she has built up Wakaba to be actually, murderously jealous of her personally, and Utena is actively refusing to fight.

As we move into the final arcs of the show, we get one of the most blatant Anthy duel disruptions to date:

The sword of Dios disappears mid-battle, and instead of remembering Dios in the face of fighting against impossible odds, it is now Utena's words of friendship that spur her to jump in front of her, and draw her own sword from her chest. I really think this is one of the most significant mid-duel actions Anthy takes besides the final duel. It shows that Anthy's emotions are no longer being spurred on by simple relation back to Dios, but rather by the genuine care that Utena is showing her. Even if their relationship is about to be mired in turmoil thanks to Akio's interference, it was starting to become something real, and it was also starting to break down Anthy's carefully built walls.

I'm getting eepy and also this is getting long, so I'm going to stop the analysis train there. I could get into the final duel but quite frankly I think thats an essay in and of itself. Anthy's reactions during duels is really a fascinating topic and you could probably go on forever talking about it (just like everything else in this show)

[horse-girl-anthy]

Mikage: Boy of the Black Rose

I've long struggled to write about Mikage, who I find to be an intriguing yet elusive character. or rather, his character is understandable--his motives and feelings are communicated clearly enough--but his narrative is one of the most inexplicable in RGU. thinking it over tonight, I put my finger on one aspect of the Black Rose arc which I previously didn't know how to approach: specifically, Mikage's relationship with the Boys of the Black Rose.

the boys act as a kind of collective character, a mass of faceless people who whisper in dark corners. since RGU is about social reality, it often uses extras to deliver exposition or set the mood. the Shadow Girls are meta characters, existing somewhat outside the narrative, but regular schoolgirls at Ohtori can serve a similar purpose. they might demonstrate that Touga and Saionji are considered the hottest boys in school, or gossip about Ruka and Shiori's recent breakup.

the Boys of the Black Rose are slightly different, maybe a little closer to the Shadow Girls. rather than acting as bit characters in the larger world of Ohtori campus, I believe their existence is contigent on Mikage. while this could be put in various ways, in the most straightforward terms, the writers created them to help reflect on Mikage's character.

only one Black Rose Boy is given a face: the first one Mikage (Nemuro) talks to. when Mikage asks not to be called "professor," since they are the same age, the boy replies:

obviously, RGU relies on making its main characters visually distinct from "normal people." Wakaba calls them "special" and resents them. Utena is popular for her specialness, well-liked; in contrast, Mikage is an outcast for his. for a person to be special or a genius, there must be others for them to stand in opposition to. Mikage is set apart from his peers by his pink hair, by his unique uniform, and by being a professor.

after Mikage is introduced to his new work, the boys begin to gossip about him, saying he knows nothing about what's really going on at Ohtori. towards the end of this conversation, there's a shot of Mikage, and then he actually replies from the future to the gossip they were spreading about him.

this is Mikage's eternal reality: his recollection of the past. even during the "present" of Utena's narrative, he is still walking through Nemuro Memorial Hall, which is why it's still standing, unburned. the Boys of the Black Rose that the audience sees are filtered through Mikage's memory; whether or not the boys really said these things about him is ambiguous. it's possible, but the important fact is that Mikage believes they did.

this transpersonal mirroring keeps Mikage trapped, unchanging. he feels himself defined as unable to connect with others, so he keeps away from them. this becomes a self-perpetuating cycle, leaving Mikage a total outcast.

even outcasts, however, are members of society. the Boys of the Black Rose actually have more in common with Mikage than the average Ohtori student. they're all scientists working on the same project. they have much of his coldness, sense of superiority, and intellectualism. the main difference is that they're the in-group.

while Mikage believes himself to be emotionless, it's made clear that his social isolation hurts him. he doesn't want to be set apart, but he doesn't know how to break through the barrier between him and others. it's very easy to do a queer reading of the character, given the way this is conveyed to the audience.

Mikage's fixation on Tokiko and Mamiya is easier to undestand with all this in mind. the world he was living in, occupied by the Boys of the Black Rose, was a cold and alienated one. in contrast, Tokiko has genuine passion, caring for her brother deeply. Tokiko's tears move Mikage, allowing his own buried emotions to break through the surface. but she also reinforces his social isolation; he is equally as hurt by her as he is drawn to her.

this is part of why Mikage is so determined to "defeat" Tokiko; she offered him hope of connection, but he was never able to "win" her, as men so often try to do with women.

Mamiya is something else altogether; a boy, like Mikage and the Black Rose Boys, but altogether different. warm, friendly to Mikage, not intimidated by his intelligence or reputation, and insightful. in a show full of characters obsessed with holding on (to the past, to a person, to their self-image), Mamiya is the only one who can see the wisdom in letting go.

Mikage at first is open to Mamiya's words, preparing to call off their quest for eternal life. but like every character who threatens the system in RGU, he is faced with Akio. in a prototype of the later "End of the World" sequences, Mikage comes across the kissing Tokiko and Akio. this proves to be too much for him; there are some things he can't afford to lose.

the scene has significance to Mikage far beyond disappointment in love. he wanted to create a family with Tokiko and Mamiya; marriage to Tokiko would tie them together "forever." if he could be by Tokiko's side as they lost Mamiya, then at least he wouldn't be alone after his death. but if he's only Tokiko's coworker, when their work is done, he's back to being a computer.

in desperation, Mikage plays into Akio's hands. under contract, he sacrifices the Boys of the Black Rose and burns down the hall that bears his name. when justifying himself to Tokiko, he claims that this act will allow them to attain eternity. in the events of the series, he's still at it: installing Mamiya as the Rose Bride will, after all, make him eternal, even though it's the very kind of eternity Mamiya wanted nothing to do with.

Mikage retreats into delusions on feeling the sting of Tokiko's rejection. though he is the one who betrayed her, he turns it around and feels betrayed himself. going even further, he casts Mamiya as the one who set the fire.

the Boys of the Black Rose are also used to emphasize his inability to face his own actions. throughout the arc, the boys are seen pushing coffins around. however, in episode 23, Mikage takes their place right before he is forced to face the truth about himself.

at the end of the arc, Miki claims that no one was hurt in the the fire, contradicting the previous story of Nemuro Memorial Hall. this possibly indicates that the murders are a figment of Mikage's imagination--the older Tokiko doesn't seem to react to him as if he's a murderer. more than anything, he seems guilty of self-denial and retreat from reality. Tokiko went on to accept Mamiya's death and even mourned for Mikage, while he ignored her in favor of his memories. the fact that he does not recognize her feelings is another aspect of his tragedy.

Mikage, through his fruitless revolution, loses the very things he always wanted. he attempts to throw away his past self, the cocoon of Nemuro hatching into the butterfly that is Mikage. with it, he burns away the boys who rejected him, who embodied the cold world he used to live in. he uses their sacrifice to enshrine Mamiya, idealizing him as the perfect companion. but as Ikuhara said, he was doomed to fail from the start:

Those who reject that place are, conversely, rejected by it as well. This is the nature of systems: the moment you reject them, you are forced to realize that they’re the very ground you’re standing on. Mikage noticed the trick behind the system, and he hurriedly attempted revisions. But the adult who’d created the system just said “Let’s not,” and unilaterally brought the curtain down.

the "trick within the system," is, I think, the fact that it's socially constructed. Mikage believed that on realizing this, he could simply remake the world as he wanted. he was allowed to do so for a time, when it was useful. when he ceased to be useful, he was dispatched with, because while he had operated within the system, he was not in control of it. and beneath his delusions, there was still a reality.

Mikage is the true Boy of the Black Rose: the true ghost, the true sacrifice, living in the desiccated world of a preserved flower. throughout the arc, he takes possession of Ohtori students who suffer from the same afflictions as him, and every time Utena defeats one of his duelists, another part of him is exorcised--another Black Rose Boy burned away. in the end, the only thing left of him is the ruin of Nemuro Memorial Hall, shown briefly in the final episode. he graduates at Ohtori, but only after losing absolutely everything. that seems to be the only way to step into adulthood: naked and shivering, like the day we are born.

[saiscribbles]

What are your future plans for your channel btw? Although I like your content criticizing Lily, I think it’s best for you to move away from her because her time on the internet is a huge trash fire that never leads to anything good.

I’d personally really like to see you talk more about Hazbin Hotel or Steven Universe! Your streams are really fun and I love having them on the side while I work. :)

BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I HAVE A PLAN!

Much like I never actually intended to start a Steven Universe AU series I never actually intended to become a YouTuber in the first place.

Here's the story:

For years now I've been doing a stream weekly on Twitch where I just talk with chat while drawing. One day Hiding in Public/Private released a couple of great videos on old SU hate videos, including Lily's infamous "Steven Universe is Garbage and Here's Why".

Not too long after that Lily released "Was I Wrong About Steven Universe?" as a nakedly obvious response. I thought hey, wouldn't it be funny if one stream I just react to this video? Just for funsies? To see if Lily has actually changed her mind on anything?

What I didn't expect was I'd end up spending like half an hour explaining Shoujo Kakumei Utena of all things during that video reaction.

I was kinda impressed with my own recall of Utena despite not having watched it in full in over a decade. So I thought eh for funsies lemme cut down that part and slap it on my account. Which is the same account I've had since 2006. I've put videos up there just for my friends and small number of fans before, as you can see from this Minecraft video from 11 years ago I filmed and edited for my friend for her birthday.

And then that Utena video got 5k views. On my completely unestablished YouTube channel. And I was like... huh. I knew people are annoyed by Lily Orchard but damn.

By that point I had also already decided to react to Lily's video on the Steven Universe Movie the next stream. Cause obviously the SU movie is something pretty near and dear to me that I know very well. And Lily's video was SO BAD and had so many OUTRIGHT LIES in it I thought well hell, let's cut down the two SU reacts into a video too!

It'll probably get like 10k views tops.

And then I'll just fuck off back into the shadows whence I came.

And I suddenly found myself with 3,000 followers.

And I suddenly found myself monetized.

And that video just passed 200k views now. In 3 months.

So I was like... well shit. Now I have this new audience over here on YouTube. I should probably actually give them something. I mean the added revenue stream is nice but I'm not looking to become a career tuber. Mostly I felt like I owed it to this new audience I now have.

So I started doing my art stream on YouTube as well! And I also have been game streaming, if you haven't checked my Lives recently. I've been streaming I Wani Hug That Gator, of all things, while doing silly voices and we're all having a blast. I already wanted to get back into game steaming this year even before this giant explosion in attention.

So for now that's the only thing resembling a plan! I'm gonna keep art and game streaming and cutting videos from those streams. I'm not a video essayist. I can't write and perform a script, I'm just not good at it. But I am very good off the cuff which is why I'm a streamer. I can explain things when prompted. So hey, come to my Wednesday art streams (2pm EST) and poke me for art and writing advice! Or to pick my brain about Steven Universe and Hazbin. I thrive on chat interaction! And then those can be shorts and videos too.

I do plan to do at least 3 or 4 more Lily reacts in the future just because they're videos I think would be funny to react to. But after that? Who knows!

[skrunksthatwunk]

man i think part of what fucks me up (/pos) about the wedding scene (klk) is how well it conveys that the fantasy junketsu puts on ryuko is not a romantic one.

like i think it would've been really easy to make it about her wanting to find a man who could take care of things for her or love her unconditionally and when mako busts her out the message is You Don't Need A Man! You're A Strong Independent Woman!! or something (which is a perfectly fine message btw. i bring it up because i suspect that's how some people read it, especially those who see ryuko as straight, in an utena-hetero-girlboss way (yes i HAVE encountered that reading before. head in my hands)). maybe there's a montage of the groom and her at romantic milestones (confession, proposal, dates, moving in, whatever), and mako busts in while they're exchanging rings or leaning in for a kiss or something. they could have done that.

but the show puts SO little focus on the groom, to the point of emphasizing his facelessness and lack of relevance to the fantasy and its appeal (see the door handle knocking him over and ryuko not noticing, too busy looking at mako), that i think it's impossible to read it that way. and that's great bc what's actually there is so much more interesting and thematically relevant.

ryuko wants a normal childhood with a mom who loves her and spends time with her doing typical family stuff, who sticks with her as she grows up. the fantasy is of a normal development and family structure, of assimilation into a typical path of life for a woman, with its typical milestones. that includes getting married to a man. the fantasy is being naturally what society wants her to be, what will allow her to connect most easily to others within it. she's always butted heads with others, never fitting in for reasons she can't really understand, or often because she thinks the rules themselves are stupid. that came with isolation. loneliness.

the fantasy of junketsu's wedding is of conformity. it is also of conformity without effort, without awareness.

she doesn't want to force herself to fit in, because she knows that feels like shit. she wants it to be seamless. second nature. that's what junketsu appeals to. not the fantasy of pretending to be straight or becoming straight, but simply being straight.

(if it isn't clear by now, i view ryuko as a lesbian. this scene is a big part of why.)

it's ryuko pretending to be (and to always have been) something that will never cause her trouble, that will never alienate her. (or junketsu making her pretend that, though i think it caters to a lingering insecurity of ryuko's, that lack of stability, connection, and conformity in her real life).

it's also part of why mako and senketsu's rescue is not about mako being the right one for ryuko, but about ryuko's identity. her core state of being. who she is as a person.

(personally i read ryuko and mako as romantic (and i believe the show does as well, hence, y'know, the date and the mako hallelujah imagery during her asking her out and mako hitting on her and and and. sorry but however you feel about them as a ship they are definitively canon), and the scene does have romantic appeal/a romantic angle to it. but i think that romance comes from mako understanding ryuko deeply, and from calling her back into the person she is, rather than the person she could have been were she to have lived a Completely Different Life, and showing her that she has community and companionship even without this. she can be part of a group without doing all this shit. she doesn't have to fight alone, and this wedding business isn't the only way out of that loneliness. it's a gesture of love and concern for her as a person, one that comes from senketsu and mako together, the people who love her the most.)

ragyo wants conformity. she is a fascist. she wants everybody to wear the same clothes, to be in their proper place in society, and to submit to those who have rightful power over them. A hierarchy with life fibers at the top and humans at the bottom. ragyo designs and distributes the roles (clothes) people ought to wear, talks about clothes that don't suit people, etc. she wants ryuko to conform like she is, and like she has. a feelingless marriage to some man for what she can get from him. fitting in. she wants to have daughters that fit in. she wants to fit in. she wants to fit in because she's fetishized her place above other humans (pigs in human clothing, in roles unbefitting their pig status), her place under life fibers.

it has nothing to do with love, so ragyo doesn't even bother with it. nor does junketsu. even though the guise of love could be a powerful aide here, the staff chose to leave the message unmuddied. it is about conformity.

for ryuko to fulfill this fantasy, she would have had to be a completely different person, with a completely different life.

ryuko could not be ryuko and still wear that wedding dress. so she tore it off to be herself again (something she'd been lamenting/resisting since finding out she was "a goddamned life fiber monster" shortly before getting put in junketsu).

also note that satsuki used this wedding dress for her own aims as well, though she is lucid through it. it pains her. it's a role she takes on to fight against ragyo (fire with fire). but she says she realizes she couldn't win using others like pawns. she couldn't win from inside the hierarchy, the establishment. she couldn't win using a groom and a dress for her own inauthentic reasons, nor using that clout to climb the ranks of something that was wholly rotten just to get closer to ragyo. the whole tree must be felled.

anyway

[aroanthy]

thinking about nanami and touga both telling utena not to trust anthy at the end of the series. whilst nanami and anthy being friends is something that makes me bawl like a little baby and overjoys me immensely, ive never bought a reading of nanami post-32 that is anthy positive. like idk how you could get that impression when all she does is talk about how anthy is a terrible and dangerous person. she’s scared of her. and you know she shouldn’t be, but it’s understandable why a 13 year old living in ohtori academy might be scared of someone she already didn’t like after finding out something deeply traumatic regarding them and not having the tools to make sense of it in a compassionate way. and it makes me want to eat drywall

what’s really interesting about all this to me tho is how both kiryuus tell utena not to trust ‘the chairman/end of the world or himemiya anthy/the rose bride’. anthy and akio are a package deal of toxicity and harm to both of them and if that isn’t just the most fascinating thing ever. also the difference between nanami’s ‘chairman/himemiya’ and touga’s ‘end of the world/rose bride’ (nanami giving her warning during the badminton scene, touga giving his at the end of his duel. so much going on here wrt roles and settings and rituals and reality). but getting back to my real point isn’t it so cool (agonising) how nanami and touga are incapable of extending compassion or understanding to anthy despite the fact that they’re the two people who know the most about her other than utena and akio. and like. they don’t know a Lot, but theyve both had a smidge of insight into an abusive relationship that mirrors aspects of their own lives in myriad ways

idk something about the rose bride as a symbol who bears all of humanity’s hatred. and in the end all girls are like the rose bride yes, but key word here is like. an approximation; all trapped, all agonised, yes, but not all literally fucking crucified for eternity by a million swords that shine with human hatred. not abstracted in such a particular and insidious way. i always find anthy/kiryuu parallels compelling wrt issues of race and class and mannnnnn. nanami takes a step away from the duelling game. she’s not out, but she’s not actively partaking, not actively being exploited. touga, whilst a little more overtly involved in stuco business and still meeting with akio, does also take a step away. like, they’re both able to do that. it’s a bit of an artifice, sure, they’re still here, but oh my god oh my god oh my god. theyre not anthy. am i making sense can anyone hear me holy shit

i think what im trying to say is that for everything that both nanami and touga learn about ohtori academy and the people living in it, for everything that forces them to self-reflect and question the ground that they stand upon, they fail to break the chain with it. like, they too contribute to anthy’s abstraction. she’s an idea that they secretly embody/emulate (not sure which word works better for what im trying to say just yet), and not a person who shares experiences with them but is still wholly separate from them. this kind of compassion is like. it’s too hard, when you’re in the situations that all three of them are in. anthy too perceives both of them as nonhuman, but there is a crucial power dynamic at play here. how can you stomach such a kindness to someone you can only see as a poor imitation of the worst parts of yourself, whom you loathe??

^ THIS GUY loves it when characters commit acts of extreme violence against one another that they themselves have experienced. the nanamianthytouga brand

[haru-dipthong]

Ep 12 of my Utena fansub is out!

私たちも今までいろいろやってきた、疲れたわね

We've been so busy the last few episodes. I'm pooped.

A juicy little indulgence on my part here - the fourth wall break here by the shadow girls does not actually exist in the Japanese (explicitly). I’ll explain why I added it.

Here’s a very literal translation of the individual words above with no thought given to context or adjusting for grammar.

We (also) | until now | various different things | have done up to this point

I believe いろいろやってきた (lit. we’ve done various different things up to this point) is referring to their various performances in a sort of meta way. If we take each appearance of the shadow girls as a semi-in-universe mini stage play, this line is referencing the presence of previous plays within the current play. They’ve played pirates, plate spinners, cowboys, an educational program, and more! Acknowledging these things is tantamount to a performer acknowledging the fact that they’re an actor rather than a character while on stage, so the fourth wall break felt appropriate.

Anya was also happy with the fourth wall break and added that it emphasises the episode as a turning point and helps close out the arc, which I really agree with!

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また黙秘するわけね。今のウテナってかっこ悪いよ。何か取られた腑抜けみたい。なんだかわからないけど、取られたら取り返しなさいよ！

Are you clamming up again? You look pathetic right now. Like you let someone steal from you! I don’t know what it was, but if someone took something from you, take it back!

Couple of little things to discuss about this line:

かっこ悪い is often translated as “uncool” or “lame”. This can sometimes be accurate, since it’s the opposite of かっこいい (lit. cool), but in this circumstance those words don’t hit hard enough. This かっこ悪い is more barbed than usual, so I kept the barbs by choosing a different word: pathetic.

“Clamming up” was an off the cuff choice because I felt I’d used “be quiet”, “not talk”, etc too many times in the previous scene to reuse them here. I think it fits with Wakaba’s personality and the current situation pretty well! 黙秘 is defined by jisho.org as “remaining silent; keeping secret”.

腑抜け means “coward” or something similar. I tried phrasing this line a few times to get that word in somehow, but in the end the whole rant just read so much better without forcing it in. Also cps (characters per second) was a concern here.

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元気な友達がいるね。

Your friend has quite the personality.

元気 (genki). What a word! Often translated as “energetic”. So often in fact, that even before I checked, I knew that the ohtori.nu translation would have used it, and sure enough!

Your friend is very energetic. (from ohtori.nu)

Along with “eyesore” and “confession (of love)”, this might take the bronze medal for common Japanese words that consistently get translated into very uncommon English words.

Of course, 元気 can literally mean “having a lot of energy”, or simply “well” (as in the opposite of “unwell”). But “energetic” is just such a bad translation for it 90% of the time. I wish I could convey why in words, but in most contexts, the word 元気 and the word “energetic” just feel so different.

Anyway, 元気 has quite a positive nuance, which emphasises the passive aggressiveness of Touga’s comment. The intent with this line is that he’s giving a vague compliment to Wakaba, indirectly (talking about her as if she’s not there), and making it clear that he wishes she wasn’t around. Everything else about the line should be secondary, including the specific meanings of each word.

I think this is emblematic of my general approach to translation — to identify the author’s original intent of a line/scene/work and then write it in a different language with the same intent in mind. Every line, every scene, is trying to do something — I believe it’s the translator’s job to identify what each line and scene is supposed to be doing and preserve that, so media literacy is very important. Sometimes that line is doing exposition, in which case a literal translation of each word is often ideal. Sometimes that line is trying to evoke a feeling, establish a character, or make the audience remember similar experiences, in which case the individual words used matter much less. In this case, the line is attempting to invoke memories of similar experiences of passive aggressive, dismissive comments. And frankly, “Your friend is very energetic” does not do that, so I consider it a poor translation.

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Thanks as always to my ride or die @dontbe-lasanya for their awesome editing this episode (and every episode!)

Make sure to follow the blog for episodes as they're released. Go here for all previous episodes:

[transmascutena]

it has become so difficult for me to understand why people think utena's feelings for akio are romantic when she literally says things like this (however indirectly) about him. it's surprising to me how so many people's interpretation of her arc is that it's something as simple as "oh she got a crush on the worst guy possible" when there's so much more to look into both for utena personally as a character and for the show's themes in general. i mean this entirely separately from the comphet discussion too. to me, utena's relationship with akio is all about the idealization and longing for family, and i believe that's all she ever wanted from him. romance is obviously present, but it's entirely his doing, because he loves twisting these ideas into their worst possible form and intertwining them until they're indistinguishable from one another.

i struggle to see the seemingly more common interpretation of utena having a crush (genuine or otherwise) that he takes advantage of, though i suppose i must have believed it initially. it feels like the more surface level reading of events, but once you start looking just a little deeper than that, you realize a lot of interesting things about utena's character that i think you entirely miss otherwise. her parallels with anthy certainly become clearer, which is one of the most interesting parts of the show.

[akiizayoi4869]

Revolutionary Girl Utena episode 7 is really interesting. I love the parallels that the show does between Juri and Utena. In the beginning of the episode, we have both of them agreeing on the fact that dueling for possession of the rose bride is stupid, which surprised me. I didn't think that anyone on the student council would come to that conclusion.

As the episode goes on, we learn more about Juri. We learn that she had a boy that she loved when she was younger, and that there was a girl who she was friends with who also happened to like the same guy. And so because of that, the girl does everything in her power to make the boy fall for her instead of Juri, which is just messed up considering the fact that they were friends. Fast forward to later on that evening, Utena runs into Juri outside. They talk for a while, and Utena tells Juri about why she even has the rose ring to begin with if she finds the whole rose bride fiasco to be stupid. Utena tells her that it's because it's her only connection to a prince that she meant a long time ago. In other words, she's holding onto the ring in the hopes that she'll meet this man again one day. And all of a sudden something inside Juri snaps. She tries to take the ring from Utena and tells her that the ring isn't for her.

This was the part of the episode that interested me the most, because I immediately knew what Juri was doing, and she probably wasn't even aware of it herself: she was projecting onto Utena in this scene. Projecting her complicated feelings over the boy she lost onto Utena, and seeing Utena as a love struck idiot because that's how she views herself. Utena obviously refuses to give up the ring, so what does Juri do? Challenge her to a fight.

With this fight, she wants to not only take away the ring from Utena, but to also prove a point to Utena (and to herself too from what I can gather): that miracles are bullshit. Why does she think this? Because of what her friend said to her years ago: "If you believe in miracles, your feelings will be known" or something to that effect. This wasn't the case for Juri though, and her feelings are kept locked away. The next day her and Utena fight, with Juri showing just how much of a fierce opponent she is thanks to her fencing skills.

In the end, Juri loses the fight and leaves the arena after dismissing what Anthy told her. Another thing that I love about this episode? Is how they fool you into thinking that Juri was in love with the guy, only to turn around in the end and be like "haha, did we get you? Yeah, she's not in love with him at all, it's actually the girl that she likes!"