#which is often 💀
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hi, my friend has just sent me and so they were alone and it has forever changed my brain chemistry. i am foaming at the mouth your writing is absolutely to die for and you have cursed me with inspiration. you are so talented and i would like to know how you do it, if that's alright. i really hope that you get the recognition you deserve because holy crap i dont think ive read a fic that does things to me like this in YEARS, you are a blessing to this world
omG thanks so much geeez this is so nice of you 😭 it makes my week whenever someone tells me they liked my stuff im so glad you liked it. i will admit that im not so proud of 'astaa' anymore, mainly because it's just one of my oldest posted fics and i think i've improved since then, and looking back there are things that i would do differently. that being said, i'm flattered you like it so much. i remember i wrote that fic just entering the league fandom and,, i dunno i just vomited all over my google doc. since you read astaa and liked it i'm gonna shyly recommend one of my other fics, 'everything that went wrong over the summer' its also rhaayn (and pretty old) but it's also one that i'm more confident in fdlskljdksfa (no pressure tho ofc like, read whatever you want yk)
also, i'm not sure if you're being serious about wanting to know 'how i do it.' (im bad at reading jokes sorry!!) but i do use a lot of tips and tricks and strategies for all my writing so if that's something that actually interests you i can get into the process a lil bit. i dont mind sharing i just type a lot so im always like: does anyone actually want this fsadkljladfs
thanks sm for such a sweet ask ;W; i saw it at work and i had to take a minute cause it was so nice
#shx answer#astaa#SO NICE OF YOU THANK YOU#REALLY LIKE. I GO BACK AND reread comments and asks whenever i feel bad about my writing.#which is often 💀#it means the world to me
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MORE. i love these too much to stop
#blue lock#bllk#mikage reo#nagi seishirou#barou shouei#isagi yoichi#bachira meguru#itoshi rin#itoshi sae#shidou ryusei#oliver aiku#sendou shuto#aryu jyubei#tokimitsu aoshi#michael kaiser#nagireo#I think its pretty clear which characters I think abt often and im sorry for having a bias 💀#bllk textpost
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bold words coming from a man wearing a Gucci sleeping bag 💅
#ohhh my god in all seriousness. who DOESN'T want to try on Maxime's coat. it looks so wonderfully cosy!!! 🙈💖💖💖#i genuinely think you could roll down a hill at an angle which could kill someone in that thing and come out unscathed#i have. definitely. drawn the coat even puffier than it actually is. but it makes me laugh 😂💖💖#hey who knows. maybe he can puff it up. perhaps he's hiding extra weaponry in there today. or a few thousand cockroach families 💀#this was also my excuse to a) draw Maxime angry and b) practice out the Illumination style#i really like it!! might try drawing this way more often :3c#maxime le mal#despicable me 4 spoilers#despicable me 4#despicable me#dm4#starleskart
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Obey Me! Question
#i write for you#writing for you#obey me#obey me lucifer#obey me luci#obey me mammon#obey me Levi#obey me leviathon#obey me Satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me Beelzebub#obey me beel#obey me belphagore#obey me belphie#this is so I know what y'all want me to write for more often when I decide it's time to write for obey me#(I have to beat the game first)#(which will take a while since I'm only on chapter 18💀)
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Do you ever wonder if maybe the reason that so many fiction podcasts have eye related imagery is because it's one of the only non visual forms of media these days? Because to tell a story with no visuals is to allow the audience to truly see, without boundaries or restrictions.
#Just makes me think‚ yknow....#Like‚ story podcasts are often so based upon the imagined visuals which means they suit a much wider audience#To see with the minds eye is the most powerful sight of all 👁️👁️👁️👁️#This sounds like an 'I'm high and this is deep' quote but I promise it's genuine 💀😭#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#Wtnv#welcome to night vale#cecil palmer#(I'm pretty sure there's another podcast that uses it?? But I don't know what it's called)
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Well that went pear shaped rather fast…
This adventure has been pretty high stakes and I enjoyed it a lot! I love that John and Sherlock have grown so close… Sherlock calling John his best friend was so touching. It made me feel the same kind of emotions I did when I first read the books as a teenager.
#not to get to emo or anything but as an autistic teen Sherlock Holmes was the only character i related to#and seeing him having such a close friendship (which I often interpret as being more. that’s the queer part talking) made me feel hopefu#about potentially forming that kind of bonds in the future#so yeah. sorry. not very eloquent of me#I know they’re not going the Johnlock route which could have been great but it’s ok#and I’ll always be happy to have some autistic guy representation that’s not an arsehole#the biggest immersion breaker for me is the fact that they’re making rent in London 💀#no I haven’t found a flatmate yet. why do you ask? 💀#Sherlock and Co#sh & co#Sherlock & co
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the goddamn show came out
#no actual hate tbf i dont think its BAD but. very annoying on a personal level if youre greek sorry 💀#i think the past couple weeks have been horrible for a lot of reasons and i do not have the energy to like#be reminded of dull takes on our mythos every 3 seconds esp when they hardly even acknowledge greece exists its just fandom blorbo shit#its annoyingggg its annoying i dont wanna see it i want it Gone#i actually think pj itself is a pretty middling example of this though. again its not bad esp compared to like booktok shit#a lot of it is often the /fandom/ but even still i find it annoying#at the very least the show does have jason mantzoukas which is more than the books did w like. acknowledging greece lol#to be clear tho i dont think all the characters have to be greek or played by greek ppl i think its cool to have a diverse cast play gods#and their kids and whatnot. its mostly just abt like somekinda nod to where youre taking it from i guess? acknowledging the culture#that still exists! in the books they go to fucking italy ffs whats the deal#basically i have complaints and find it annoying bc it doesnt care about greece like most things about.... greek mythos#so im not excited to see it all over my dash i just think its very annoying personally sorry#ppl can still like it and have fun with it idc abt that but doesnt mean i have to like it either 🤷♂️#ergo. blacklist my best friend do your thing and get it away from me. and we will all be at peace again
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Simon doodles I drew at like 1 AM or so recently. In an absolutely genius move, my dumbass started getting sleepy and decided to draw him being sleepy too about it instead of just going to bed 💀💀💀💀💀. Literally thought about The Guy before I realized I could (and should) go sleep
#castlevania#castlevania games#simon belmont#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#art post#my art#at this point I just determine which things I haven’t posted yet by what images don’t have a cropped version lol#he’s so eepy#yeah he’s got a plushie and nightgown of course—#haha the plushie totally isn’t a rabbit cause I collect rabbit plushies hahahaha no not at all erm uh—#and uh random microwaving the plushie so it’s warm image#he’s allowed to have a microwave in the 1600s as a treat :3#eh but honestly I just draw these characters in a random void and make them do whatever so it’s the character interaction void’s microwave#I usually draw him on his side or face when laying down cause I imagine laying on his back is probably uncomfortable#never healing scars are probably not very great to touch very much#this is totally me when i’m suffering from the curse#imagine having posture and back problems already and then Dracula goes ‘hehe I’m gonna make that worse :)’ 💀💀💀#uh dumping headcanons in the tags I guess lol#he’s probably an insomniac tbh like who else would be taking a week or more of no sleep like a champ like that#dude up walking around and talking to people for days and only gets like teeny tiny breaks at the church every so often???#yeah this guy already had sleep set on veteran difficulty#that being said I think when he does sleep he does like a rock don’t even bother trying getting him up#and why would you tbh he would be so sad :( it took him so long to do that :( let him sleep until 2 pm—#yeah anyway yippie doodles! of The Guy™️!!!#I can’t think of anything else
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🐰🕸🌙
#i have so many behaviours and fears and#no emotional regulation and issues and disorders and fearrrrr#and i do not know how to explain it so that ppl who dont relate can possibly understand it#but it is like i am trapped in a nightmare dimension where everything is always bad#my brain isnt even wired to see anything in a positive or hopeful light#which is how humans are wired typically to ensure survival lol#in swedish avpd is also called anxious personality disorder#which can clue in on the fact that if you know what a personality disorder is#(your brain hasnt developed normally but in a disordered way. often bc of trauma etc)#my brain is wired to be anxious abt wverything all the time#so i always naturally see everything in a negative and dark and bad and horrible light#which is fucking terrible. it makes life exhausting and like a constant fight#other ppl dont get that bc their brains arent wired to have this horrible outlook on EVERYTHING#so thid just gives me extreme trust issues and my brain always fights to make sense of things#bc it cannot do so in a rational manner#and basically i just feel so ashamed when i think of how like... overly emotional and fearful i am#as soon as anything happens im like wow this person literally wants to kill me bc humans are evil#which i know intellectually isnt tru bc if it was i'd be dead by now 💀#ig i just feel so lucky that one person still is my friend after almost 2yrs now#despite my whateverthefuck moments when idek what im saying..#'working thru my emotions' in a way that doesnt make sense#esp when hes seen some of what i've written and im like NOOO i was spiraling when i said that i dont mean that i think most likely i dont#anyway.. feeling grateful 🙏 i wish i was normal#or at least had th ability to have connections and relationships most ppl w mental illness are still capable of having#avpd is fucked upppp it is such a weird mental disability.... 0-o#bc of my fear i also struggle with relaxing into it bc im like no imma fuck it up soon or no hes gonna leave me soon bc i suck and dont#deserve having him in my life at all. i really wish my brain wasnt wired to be terrified like i hate my brain and myself like why cant#i just be normal!!!!!! ☹️ i am thankful for every moment still.
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the ellis debate has gone on for so long “hes not dumb hes just silly” “hes not silly hes just stupid” here is my take. hes just dedicated to The Bit above all else. hes a lil dumb but more than that he is just off the shits simply for the fun of it. my man is just here for a good time not a long time and puts all hes got into it🫡
#also major undiagnosed autism vibes but thats another conversation LOL#basically i think hes no genius but hes definitely not as utterly unintelligent as everybody percieves him to be imo#we know he loves chasing thrills and prioritizes it over his and others’ safety#(and others’ sanity lol)#i dont think hes actively playing a role but 1) extreme dedication to having the most fun time ever#and 2) being in major denial (poor guy💀)#foster a fuck it we ball type attitude lmao#oh and also ik the fanbase typically characterizes him as this innocent ball of sunshine but people often forget that he can be kinda -#- snotty snarky and out of pocket sometimes💀💀not to the degree of nick obviously#but to the point where rochelle has a line calling him a complainer#and theres a few misc bits of dialogue along those same lines which is so funny to me#im probably waaay overanalyzing this but its fun to me !! i like when the curtains arent JUST blue#they probably were intended to be but they arent to me ^.^#all this is lighthearted btw i dont give a shit that much interpret him as you want have fun w it !! ^_^#l4d2#l4d#left 4 dead#left 4 dead 2#ellis l4d2#headcanons#left4dead#ellis left 4 dead 2#l4d2 ellis
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Every time I cry, my first thought is just I wish Scrabble were here 😭
#personal#I miss him SO bad and everytime I cry im just reminded of how many times id just scream sob to him about things 💀😭#he probably thought this fucking dumb bitvh again 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😔😩😔😔😔😔😔#does she ever STOP crying 💀#and I love marley but hes just like. a different vibe to me. like he doesnt understand im sad and is happy to sit there#whether I throw up scream cry or not#i felt like scrabble kinda understood. . .. he probably didn't but he never...#well no he was just a huge fucking idiot#one time I was sobbing and I'd left my window open by mistake with scrabble in my room#and I had to pause my sobbing to run out on the roof and chase him back inside 💀#which happened fairly often ...or more than I'd like to admit#he WAS ALWAYS SAFE THOUGH I PROMISE........i just remember going outside once and him staring from the roof down at me on the sidewalk#💀😔 maybe it was more like ik youre crying but despite it all I am about to wreak chaos#marley is like idk what youre doing but I'm here to sleep as close to your face as humanly possible and then get annoyed when youre too#close
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my teacher is so kind. she told me that i play well and that her husband has said to her 4 times, "i like listening to her play, she sounds nice."
#ahu.txt#...i didn't realise he was listening to my piano playing... i can hear him in the kitchen so of course he can hear... duh...#she said i'm very musical. that shocked me as i thought i sounded like a robot (tense muscles = rigid sound. of which i'm often guilty)#she's always telling me to relax my arms shoulders hands and fingers 💀
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two pics of pretty morning lighting at old home that I never posted for some reason
#I only caught morning lighting 2 or 3 times in total during my time playing the game#because it changes to day around 12 PM I think?#and I'm rarely up before that time#aviary morning is easier to catch though because it doesn't follow your timezone it just changes based on a schedule#which is nice I think#still unfortunate that I can't see morning in old home more often :( it's very nice looking#sky cotl#sky children of the light#sky cotl screenshots#*wrote “petty” instead of “pretty” at first. I'm fucking blind💀
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out of curiosity bc it came up in conversation today:
#no judgement i genuinely just wanna see what other people do#since i was told i wash mine more often than the average person 💀#i generally wash em every couple of days#every day in the summer since i’m hydrating the kibble and it leaves gross wet crumbs#also because Maya drools more when it’s hot out so her bowl gets extra nasty#which i feel is reasonable??
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there's a very short period of time where my hair is the perfect length before it crosses over to bad mullet stage. and unfortunately we have reached the bad mullet stage
#man......#once more im like 'why dont i try to grow it out again'#which will be ok up until i get misgendered too often#at which point ill give up lmao. have not had Truly long hair since i was a tiny child#like.. not actually all past shoulders 💀#i think its the mask really that gets me misgendered which is unfortunate becos i wont take it off#and also apparently if i wear anything too loose??? wtf
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Bought a very beautiful vintage dress which ended up being quite baggy in the back 💀 I think tomorrow I will have to accept my fate and take it to be altered (💸)
#ab.txt#it feels like such a crime to tamper with a fifty year old dress but the local tailor has my full trust#however I am not prepared to watch cold hard cash fly out of my hands. I'm miserable#I gave them a skirt to be taken in not too long ago because it was two sizes too large and it ended up running me £20#which was more than double than what the skirt initially cost me.#what with how often my clothes need to be tailored I really ought to learn how to sew so I can do it myself#but I have the worst fine motor skills ever#I have failed at crochet#forgotten how to knit (was only capable for a solid weekend or so)#cannot sew to save my life#AND had to have exam extensions because they thought I had dyspraxia related issues with handwriting 💀💀#yeah I am NOT touching that dress with my own two hands.
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