#which is now called adhd | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

neep-neep-neep · 2 years ago

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celebrating small chores...did a load of laundry and folded and put it away...cleared on top of my dresser...hate adhd so much...but if i pretend i didn’t do anything it’s woooorrrseeee

#negative #delete later #why didn't i get help in kindergarten when my teacher told my mom i had add #which is now called adhd #don't call it add now lol #my mom took me out of that school instead and fell into a bunch of hippie anti-medicine nonsense #i could have gotten support #even if adhd meds weren't in a shortage right now my appointment for an evaluation is next fucking year #they couldn't fit me in sooner #patients at my clinic complaining about not being able to be seen sooner than a week from now vs me having to grit my teeth about #my next july appointment with a neuropsych

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago

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Bros before Ho(oh my god is that Hanguang-Jun?)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #WWX really was unhinged for saying he was going to always be at JC's side and then immediately asking about LWJ.#The D in ADHD stands for Distractible. The second D stands for DooowawawaWaaaah (ADHDers know what I mean)#Their conversation is such a knife twist in this flashback. WWX truly and genuinely does mean it when he says he wants to support JC #And that JC hopes for that too! Tragedies hit the hardest when you can feel the lost futures characters would have together #And I feel it here in this scene so painfully. There's complicated feelings between them but it wasn't what broke them apart.#The rumours and the twisted family dynamics that tried to pit them against each other likely wouldnt have worked.#It set the stage for JC to have an inferiority complex which then grows into his responsibility complex.#WWX even calls it out! That JC has to be the responsible one in the dynamic.#And it sucks to be in that unequal position with a sibling or a not-sibling.#You don't get the love *or* acknowledgement but you do get the pressure to be the 'better one' in the face of the other's misbehaviour.#But I digress. There was a world where they did became the twin heroes of yunmeng jiang and stayed together.#And we'll never see it. That world is gone now. And just like Lotus pier -even if they tried to rebuild it - they will never be the same.

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punnifullife · 6 months ago

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I always thought Mar’i would be best friends with Lian Harper and Irey West if DC let them exist in the same timeline. Ugh! Another missed opportunity 😔

Yess!! I think they would make great friends as kids. The possibilities with these 3, especially if they end up taking after their fathers... ohh boy. but there would be age gaps. Lian, of course, was an accident and even a secret for awhile. Irey (and Jai) came next and then of course Mar'i! She's the youngest, but as she grows older, she'd be the one getting the other two out of sticky situations.

Bonus: Young Lian meeting Mar'i for the first time

#dc comics #mar'i grayson #lian harper #irey west #kor'i anders #roy harper #im finally getting through the requests in my inbox sdfbjkdfg #i have now adapted these kiddos to my au #WHICH im calling #Earth 0380 #for now..#punnifulart #took so long for this specific one bc my adhd ass went down the lore rabbit hole and then trying to iron out years in my au for the kiddos #o make sense lmaaoi

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entropyvoid · 10 months ago

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Golden Hour (+ lineart below cut)

I took a picture of the lines for once and did some basic crappy photo editing on my phone, so you could probably print this out and use it as a coloring page or something if you so wish lol. Do with it what you will.

#honkai star rail #dr ratio #veritas ratio #aventurine #aventurine hsr #cherallart #as you can see i forgor i wanted to draw his glasses til like. last second #i can’t believe it’s been like 2 whole months since I last did a whole like. watercolor illustration #part of that’s been bc I’ve been having a bit of a rough semester bc adhd med issues (which are resolved now)#but I really wanted to draw aventurine and ratio. my boys #i’ve been LOVING penacony so far so I needed to get something nice out #anyway I did this while my s/o and I alternated between reading a 500 pg long history book out lout to each other #it’s called ‘the inheritance of rome’ and kinda covers what happened after the collapse of the western roman empire #and tries to identify and explain all the cultural echoes and reverberations and transformations that rose from its ashes #throughout europe north africa and the middle east. anyway it’s super interesting and I highly recommend it #the late antique period is not something often covered/talked abt in public ed hist classes. at least not when I was goin through em #or the transitory period between it and the early medieval period at least #i still got 150 pages left and a final paper due on it in like 4 days but it’s only a 5 pg minimum and I’m a wordy bitch so #i think i can make it #anyway back to that I go

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the-haven-keepers-collective · 8 months ago

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My first attempt at writing that's vaguely like poetry: from a dragon

I am not what you think.

I walk around, awkward limbs and flighty mannerisms, and you think I’m strange. You have no idea how strange you would think I am if you only saw what was underneath.

Underneath, I am a creature of the ocean. Something that could never pass as human, and no longer wants to. Saltwater rushes through my veins in secret, silent to everyone but me. To me, it’s a roaring sound of the waves that I have never seen except for within my soul. It yearns to dissolve into the ocean like it could long ago, but for now those days are over and I am hidden underneath skin and muscle.

Underneath, there are wings; fins; antlers. They ache to tear from my back, through my skull. Nonetheless, they stay hidden for me, safe in the silence. Protected like I protected my kin in a lifetime so close to the surface and yet unreachable. Wrapped in a form that no longer coils around them like a serpent, but keeps them hidden from predators well enough I suppose.

I suppose.

I accept my form reluctantly and do what I can to make it mine. I shape it to feel better when I discover my gender, and when I can’t shape it to fit my true self I cover it in things that feel a little more like home. A little more draconic. A little more like the ocean that I never have seen, but feel homesick for anyway.

I do find joy in being in this body, at least. Out there, there are others. Angels working minimum wage, dragons sitting on a park bench, wolves buying groceries. We hide, but we do so to be free. We walk through crowds, and no one notices our scales and fur and feathers. But we do. We see each other, even if from miles away, and we see what’s underneath.

And underneath, none of us are what you think.

(Tags for side commentary/context)

#not looking for even constructive criticism since this is literally my first ever writing that isn't fiction or just a vague ramble #at least the first that I finished #I'm not calling it poetry bc that feels too fancy #this is a ramble that's shaped like poetry #because I'm such an open book type of person to the point that some people have called me “so brave for being open” about things #which I still genuinely don't understand bc bro I'm just talking about being autistic and queer and shit like if you had issues with that #I would tell you to fight me #but that aside #it's become an issue that I can't talk about my otherkinity irl to most people #like it'd be unsafe and all that jazz #so this was sort of about that #and sort of just a general exploration of my draconity for fun #and sort of a shoutout to the otherkin community for making me feel normal about it #bc otherwise I'd feel like a freak and be miserable right about now #otherkin #alterhuman #nonhuman #dragonkin #otherkin blog #otherkinity #therian #otherkin community #amphitere kin #it feels too dramatic or smth but that's just the tone I write this type of shit in so???? ehhhh fuck it #I'm not looking to make GOOD writing #I'm looking to write that's it #(also I'm not fishing for compliments in the slightest I'm legit writing that down so my ADHD ass remembers to not judge my writing later)#not sure if i should tag a tw but like #body horror tw #? I think?

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jazzy-dreamer · 3 months ago

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Is it just me or do psychiatrists (or I guess whoever is in charge of diagnosing?) never like to be straight forward with their answers. They never say “I can confirm, you have X” or “You’re X”

They always seem to say something like “You definitely display traits of X” or “You have symptoms of X”

I’ve looked this question up and apparently this is on purpose because they want the patients(?) to be able to decide for themselves what they want to do, and to not let a diagnosis completely dictate their mindset or actions or something along those lines. Which is like- understandable!!! But!!!!!! This doesn’t help with my imposter syndrome???????????

When tryna get diagnosed with ADHD a couple months ago, I was told that tho I definitely had traits and stuff, it would be difficult to explicitly say if I had ADHD or not because I’m autistic and have anxiety, which can cause many overlaps in symptoms and whatnot which makes everything a billion times more confusing. But despite that, they still prescribed me ADHD medication (YIPPEE :D) but I’m so confused fjdgkfhfj

CAN I say I have ADHD then?? Or just “traits”? It’s when I got diagnosed with OCD all over again fjdgkfhfj. DO I REALLY HAVE OCD???? LIKE YEAH I HAVE ALL THE SYMPTOMS OF OCD AND IT NEGATIVELY IMPACTS MY LIFE EVERY SINGLE DAY ALL DAY BUT WHAT IF I DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE IT???

Fun fact, one common thing with OCD is self doubt, the need for constant reassurance and ironically enough imposter syndrome fjdgkfhfj

Kay but like what if I don’t actually have ADHD or OCD- What if I’m just looking for reasons so I don’t feel lazy or delusional- What if I just want an excuse for why I’m extremely anxious and overwhelmed by everything all the time-

I keep wanting to ask my parents the same question “Are you sure I was properly diagnosed and I’m okay to say I have X?” even tho I WAS THE ONE THAT DID ALL THE RESEARCH AND WAS THE ONE TO EVEN ASK ABOUT LOOKING INTO A DIAGNOSIS ANYWAY. Every single time I say “I have OCD” or “I have ADHD” I feel like a frickin liar for some reason

I love my scrambled eggs of a brain and it’s disorganised and imbalance of funky hormones and funky chemicals <3

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orcelito · 5 months ago

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Several months late, the landlord finally picked up the dehumidifier from my kitchen

Would've been nice had I been told they were coming though 💀 so I could've cleaned up the grocery bags on the floor that I hadn't put away yet 💀💀💀💀💀

#speculation nation #at least i did do the dishes yesterday so the kitchen is in much better shape than it was before. still not great though.#i wonder if i could put in a complaint lol. like Please dont enter my unit unannounced 😭 that's a violation im pretty sure 😭😭😭#actually i might call them. like Hey. can you guys um..not lol #well. the office is closed now so i cant call them. but i wonder if i should email.#i also wonder if it's even worth the fuss. like if they dont bother me about the state of my apartment then like oh well ykno?#except i very much did have a hospital bank statement out in full view which is kinda personal information lol. lmao even.#... actually yknow what i think i will email. bc like. even if they dont complain. it's kind of embarrassing lol.#had i known they were coming i wouldve done that little bit more before leaving. and i shouldve had the option.#this certainly wasnt an emergency. i should have gotten notice. they conducted a violation of tenants rights.#and YEAH ok people might say i should just keep my apartment clean always regardless of if someone is coming.#and while thatd be nice. get this. im a full time student with adhd and ive been having a HELL of a time lately.#so no i hadnt fully put away my groceries. and i left some empty bags on the floor. bc i didnt think itd matter.#so Yeah im going to email them with a friendly 'hey next time could you guys pls give me 24 hour notice? like it says in the law? thanks :)

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embv · 2 months ago

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my body doesn’t Hate me, per se. It just Loves being an annoying little shit

#my post #i feel a little bad about complaining about it sometimes #because it’s not like i have super serious afflictions #and we’ve gotten some handled through this or that #but. i’ve just got. such an extensive collection of #‘‘bodily things that would be fine individually albeit annoying; but i’ve got all of them so it makes for a frustrating existence’’#subacute eczema. the worst of the bunch. only on my hands but very itchy and still eczema #scapular winging or whatever they call it when you can pop out your scapulas at will.#not very bad at all. the least offensive. just aches sometimes and makes me worry #some tinnitus. a tad annoying. i hear it most when it’s quiet or i’m inside. sometimes it flares but not often. tuning it out isn’t too har #chronic rhinitis. i got some surgery(?) for this one. lotta nose sprays.#my nose is almost always congested and runny and going anywhere without tissues is dangerous.#dry lips. also not altogether that bad it’s just annoying and it gets cracked and sometimes painful to open my mouth too wide ig.#we manage that one well with whatever lip products my sister gave me. it’s not very bad #dandruff? maybe? is it dandruff or just scalp skin? i got no clue man #and you’re like. ‘‘okay you’re right those are all quite annoying. but is it really that bad?’’#and i’m like ‘‘No. but have you Considered that i have to deal with them all at Once?’’#BUT THAT. ISN’T EVEN IT. ‘CAUSE IT’D BE ONE THING IF MY BODY WAS JUST BUILT LIKE THAT. BUT MY BRAIN HATES ME TOO.#BOOM. dermatillomania!! i pick at my acne a little. under my nails. the hard skin under my nails.#my scalp! until it’s itchy and there’s a little bit of blood! i gently pull at my eyelashes a little bit and rub my eyes.#and. get this. dry and flaky bits of skin. GUESS WHERE I HAVE FLAKY BITS OF SKIN. OH THAT’S RIGHT: THE SUBACUTE ECZEMA ON MY HANDS.#it’s better now it really is but i have spent hours picking at it after i’m already all set for bed. 2-3 hrs over a trash can picking at it #‘‘yeah okay that’s bad. but-’’ BOOM. ADHD or at least fidgeting. i fidget most by picking at idk All of the aforementioned.#‘‘oof yeah that does actually suck-’’ BOOM. OCD!!! now that one is the REAL kicker that one fucking hates me #just take all of the above and assume i have some vaguely annoying compulsion tied to it.#and it wouldn’t be so annoying sometimes if it weren’t for the fact that i deal with it all every day kind of #so correction: my body doesn't necessarily hate me it’s just that my body has shaken hands made deals about which exact disorders and bodil #irritations i need to collectively make living incredibly annoying.#thank you for coming to my TED talk. cue the world’s smallest violin or whatever

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essektheylyss · 2 years ago

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Safety tools for games are very well and good and if you and your group need them you should absolutely use them, but sometimes the way people talk about them feels like they are using those tools as a straight-up substitute for, like, working to develop interpersonal skills and the capacity for talking openly with friends.

#that post about 'you call yourself a community organizer but you haven't talked to your roommates in three months'#except it's about ttrpgs #like this is from a person with ADHD who did (and still sometimes do) have pretty severe RSD #and whose sister used to accuse people of cheating and/or straight up flip boards any time she wasn't winning a game #like especially if you find yourself needing to USE the safety tools often...#it might just be a point at which you have to say 'this is not the game environment for me'#and that does NOT need to reflect morally on you or those friends. some people's game styles just are not compatible.#not rebloggable cuz i know people are going to severely misinterpret me particularly if you're removing the context of #'i am also neurodivergent bro.'#not to say that I can comprehend every possible neurodivergent experience #but if anyone comes on here like 'you're only saying that cuz you're neurotypical' i will start biting.#also remembered that quote is from a chris fleming video so late and didn't wanna delete all of my tags to edit and then forgot to note it #but now i have. anyway. unimportant.

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mushroomofficial · 5 months ago

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me, holding a gun to my own head: dude why are you always so anxious about everything

#this is about how my adhd coach called me tf out in my last session #like when its 3am and i should sleep but im just laying there on my phone telling myself how shit im going to feel tomorrow if i dont sleep #so i beat myself up because i wont stop what is basically an escapism thing which means that i feel worse so its actually harder to stop #and it means im like inherently linking the act of putting my phone away and going to sleep with bad feelings and negative consequences #so as a result i do not sleep #same with basically every activity i have ever procrastinated ever #like. its obvious NOW #whispers from the mycelium

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago

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obviously hanguang-jun would wear sports bras…. right?

Wei Wuxian failed his perception and insight check rolls.

#ask #poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Flirting works differently when you are Neurodiverse. You need to be told directly or its Not A Thing. (this is a ADHD wwx household)#call that...taking the Initiative....#He is just trying to be polite but also still stuck on a very specific idea of who lwj is.#'He can't be flirting with me - Lan Zhan would combust if he had a single gay thought!'.#combined with: 'I think I might have a little bit of a crush on lwj but it could just be a desire for closer friendship'.#And now we have a recipe for trying to take on the burden of 'protecting someone' from your feelings #when its really just a problem with communication and being afraid of your own feelings + feeling as if you need to handle it alone.#Which we all know is wwx's major flaw. Call that *~*~Character consistency*~*~#Anyways - your art gave me a much needed laugh today B*) thank you very much (also whoops I didn't realize I wasn't following you until now

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ploncc · 2 years ago

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finally watching House MD and yes i am catching up on my shows a decade late, but that DOES mean that now i can make the hypothesis that chase is another bubblegum bitch character and frankly that's worth the ten years

#house md #im on season three #by which i mean i am four episodes away from finishing season 3 #i picked up knitting you see and i was like “hey i need a show i don't care about that's still engaging while knitting” because adhd yknow #except now im fucking hooked #my emotions have been toyed with #i have called 40 year old men baby girls #i have broken down laughing #i have cried full ass adult tears #i have binged more episodes than i could ever advise in single evenings #i have had to excitedly break down arcs to my mother who keeps walking by while the show is on/sitting in for an episode n then sleeping #ive also finished a cool pattern swatch and am almost done with another stuffed bunny (this one is for an old roomie) so it is working #like on the knitting-with-adhd front #i have another five seasons to go so who knows!#maybe i'll make a sweater :)

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transgender-er · 6 months ago

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I can't fucking do this, man.

#i have 2 doses left of my adhd meds #because my doctor didn't realize that pharmacies can't give out more than 1 month's worth of doses #and that was 3 months ago.#which was fine bcuz it was summer #but now. school is back on and my History class means that I have to write a short essay a week based on multiple sources #I can't ever focus myself well enough to understand the fucking prompts let alone the actual sources or the criticisms of other ppl's essay #i need to call my doctor and see if I can move my appointment on the 28th closer #but I CAN'T REMEMBER TO CALL HIS OFFICE BECAUSE I'M LOW ON MY MEDS #UPDATE: i set a calendar reminder to call them after labor day so. we'll see!

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casual-eumetazoa · 7 months ago

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today in adventures of being incredibly exhausted 24/7: eating is hard. I have no appetite and making food, even stuff like instant oatmeal or ramen or whatever, is too many spoons. I have a doctor's appointment at 5 so i have four and something hours to eat, preferably twice, practice my goddamned presentation again, and get ready to leave. ugh

#i keep getting calls from the genetics clinic that probably now has my test results #about which type of ehlers danlos i have #but phone calls are hard and i dont want to respond #i really wish they would just email #todays doctor appointment is psychiatrist #getting evaluated for adhd yay #and getting my prescriptions refilled #speaking of. I need to eat something to take my meds #slept for over twelve hours again #also woke up jn the middle of the night cause my back was hurting?? no idea what that was

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theprissythumbelina · 1 year ago

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Meds take away the pain but do nothing for the other migraine issues like nausea, dizziness, eye strain

#i finally got meds this last week for panic attack #which i have probably needed for about 10 years now #turns out people pay attention if the emts get called #also going to pursue an adhd or whatever I have diagnosis #because this is getting out of control #not writing #rl posting #medical care #migraine

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purple-beans · 8 months ago

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I can't sleep again

#it's all just too much #i need to be sending out emails and arranging stuff for a whole load of different things #but doing that fills me with such anxiety because i dont know how the fuck it works #but every moment I'm not doing those things it fills me with anxiety because i realise I'm standing still #and the only way forward it seems is through this #only it's not because the previous thing i was going was actually working and helping me forward but then my local gov said no actually #you're not allowed to do the thing anymore because we think so even tho we dont know what were talking about #so now you got the offer to look into this other thing that really just feels like the thing you already had but worse #so you have to contact the new thing and see what exactly they're about but already deep inside you know it probably wont work out #so it feels like you'll be doing that only so you can see it doesnt work in the hope that maybe if it doesnt work you can go back #to the gov people and show them the old thing was actually right. but that might not work and then you'll have to sue them #and all the while you spend your days just sitting at home doing nothing and slowly wasting away #getting a little bit worse every day. as you feel all the progress you made in the last year slowly slip through your fingers #and you start to think that maybe this is it. maybe it just doesn't get better. maybe this really is the best you can do and any more just #isn't in the cards for you. maybe you're just not cut out for this whole adult life business. you'll forever be...a failure #and that's just one thing. one thing of many you constantly need to worry about. it's not even adressing that your adhd treatment is still #kind of unclear who exactly is responsible. you've been running out of meds for a week and still haven't called because it's too much stress #or the way its been almost five years since you got on the waiting list at the gender clinic #three years of which were spent on the waiting list #but even now you've been “in treatment” for the past year and a half you still feel like you're no further. still no official “diagnosis”.#still no approval to change your birth certificate. your passport will run out by the end of the year and you'll have to get yet another #new one with your dead name on it. still no idea when you might finally get their approval to start on HRT. no idea when you might finally #get to stop feeling like every single day your body becomes a little less yours. where you look in the mirror and see someone stare back who #just simply looks wrong. feels wrong. you look at the hair on your head that really needs a haircut but you dont dare touch it because its #the one little thing that keeps the dysphoria at bay. and then you think of your dad and his bald head. and you look at your hairline and #cant help but wonder “is it receding a bit more right there?” always wondering if you'll lose this little bit of safety too #its all just too much. i dont know how much longer I can keep pushing myself forward at this rate. when all the good things get taken away #and I'm left having to deal with all of it on my own. i dont want to be alone but i dont know how to reach out to those around me. not even #to my friends sometimes. i know they're out there and i know they care but at the same time i dont know how to #let them. so I'm left alone and it's all my fault? isn't it. i know not all of this is my fault but also all of it is and i just

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