#which is not really an issue per se but Would be embarrassing for me. like damn. it was so close. and i fucking whiffed it.

[a-most-beloved-fool]

I have been making progress on The-Fic-That's-Almost-Done, but, tragically, i've mostly been adding words in places that. don't actively need them. it's still a good thing, mind. i did hope to embellish those spots more. but there are still a few conspicuous holes which. need the words rather more intensely.

though, it does grant the amusing observation that the longer i work on a particular section, the more archaic and formal my language and grammar get. it's likely noticeable to a degree within my text posts, too, (i say while saying shit like "grant the amusing observation" and "noticeable to a degree". fuck, dude, i bet it is.) but it's. particularly funny to see the evolution of my paragraphs, sometimes, from the rough draft to the final (hopefully final) version.

[fountainpenguin]

My brief reviews on movies I watched this week (Mostly Disney-Pixar):

Dug Days: Carl's Date (Short, not a movie) - Very cute. I liked the earlier Dug Days shorts and this one was no different. I like how Alpha Beta has a squeaky cow toy and is living his best life.

Very much enjoyed Dug telling Carl to bring his date a toy so she would wag her tail. And Carl turning Ellie's picture around on the mantle when he was embarrassed. And Carl practicing his small talk on Dug who doesn't get what's going on so he just sits at the table with his fancy hat saying things like "I like bugs" with the most serious expression and eye contact.

Elemental [2nd watch since release] - Enjoyable. I went in hoping this time I'd connect with Ember/Wade as a ship and tbh I still don't - I don't know why, they're just... there to me - but I greatly enjoy this movie for showing them working hard to figure out their relationship. I enjoy the look Wade gives his uncle when the microaggressions start coming out. King.

I think I'd enjoy this movie more if they didn't find a way to get around the touch issue? I know it was a big deal for them, and I know they have other elements of their cultures they can still explore with each other, but they seem to have fixed the issue easily and they're a pretty standard couple after that.

There's nothing wrong per se with the direction the movie went, but I would've loved an ending where they choose to date even knowing it means giving up hugs, kisses, and other touch-related intimacy. Just would've made my aspec heart happy and been really neat to explore.

Also, this time I realized the Fire folks are eating wood, not charcoal like I thought, so that's nice in case I ever want to write something about this show. I have many questions about Wade's life that are still unanswered (Sir, why did you have two airball tickets and who did you cancel with to give one to Ember? Sir, that's a big table and a lot of chairs for a guy living alone in his apartment), but I like this movie.

I like Wade's mom. I think she oversteps a little, but I like that for her because it's not too in your face, and she really is just trying to help. Movie hurts my eyes a little to watch directly, but I spent the week playing movies on my second screen while focused more on my first. Good watch. I cracked up when I got another look at Ember's bed and realized she doesn't have blankets because she doesn't get cold.

Lots of nice worldbuilding. I'd like to learn more about her trip with Wade to her internship as I assume they're sharing a room (and a bed?) on the ship for at least a week and there's so much potential for how nerve-wracking that would be for them when they're still trying to figure out how to not, y'know. vaporize each other with touch.

Luca [3rd watch since release?] - This is a really good movie and I like it. I don't have much to say; I think it does everything it's trying to do really well. Plot, emotions, and character work together nicely. This one hits hard.

I would really like to know if someone's written an AU where Luka doesn't run away and has to spend 2 seasons in the deep with his uncle. Lots of potential there.

Finding Dory [2nd watch since release] - It's neat. Again, I think it does what it's trying to do, though this one doesn't hit me like some others. Also Hank is a flippin' liar for saying he can't fit in a pipe, but I support him and his wrongs.

Years ago I tried writing a character with short-term memory loss (which would be the big reveal the reader didn't know unless they'd picked up on it), and it was very difficult. I think they do a good job moving Dory forward and showing her struggles, especially when she pleas for help and backs away from things because she doesn't have a caretaker with her.

And you can see Marlin struggling with his new life as Dory's caretaker, which is interesting. I would have liked to see more Nemo-Dory interaction since that was limited in the first movie. There are a few times Marlin says something ableist and Nemo calls him on it in defense of Dory, but it would've been really interesting to see Nemo call him on it and relate it to Nemo himself being disabled. That said, it's good that Marlin realized he was hurting Dory and not just "Oh, I hurt my son because I hurt Dory."

I'm still glad that Marlin and Dory don't flirt. Also, the Bailey-Destiny friendship is very cute and honestly it's so sweet that he offers to be her eyes if she escapes with him to the ocean. This is a movie about disability and it's super interesting. Literally most of the characters have a disability (Nemo's fin, Hank's tentacle, Dory's memory, Destiny's eyes, Bailey's sonar, etc.) and that's really cool.

Turning Red [2nd watch since release] - One of those movies that I'm glad exists, but I definitely don't connect with it since it's nothing like my experiences as a teen. That's okay though and I'm glad it's there for other people. It does second-hand embarrassment in the beginning really well.

When I first saw this movie, I thought it was entirely about Mei becoming a red panda when she's embarrassed, and I thought that was unique because that's an emotion never tied to shapeshifting in my memory. I still think it's disappointing that embarrassment goes out the window into "all emotions" early on, and then very quickly into "Nah, she can just control it without issue." Eh.

I think Elemental hits the vibes of carrying the weight of tradition a little harder for me, but I'm not sure I could put a reason into words, and it's worth noting I'm not the audience for Turning Red. I like the ending scene where Mei's father is wearing the cardboard costume that Mei used to wear- that one glimpse says so much. Yes, there was a solution to who would help out. Very nice.

Soul [3rd watch since release?] - Always a good watch. It's very enjoyable with some clever twists, great humor, and spooky moments. I like it a lot.

Still surprises me that the only time 22 is addressed with gendered pronouns, it's near the end of this nearly 2-hour movie and it's only like, twice. Despite being asked why she uses a woman's voice, I didn't really see her with a gender on my first watch and I remember it really caught me off guard when they revealed so late that she uses she/her. idk why they didn't just go all the way without gendering her, especially when she hasn't been born yet and has no body, but okay.

Raya and the Lost Dragon [2nd watch since release] - There's some neat lore here, but the tone and jokes don't fit well for me. This movie definitely gives me the vibe of someone who very badly wanted to see "hot girls fighting" and made it their mission to do so, but maybe that's just me. seriously why so many fight scenes between Namaari and Raya when they're unarmored especially when their main bonding moment was that they prefer weapons over hand to hand, it just seems so impractical sldkfj

Kind of confused as to what the droon are since they're clearly not eating people. Why do the statues make a cupped bowl pose with their hands? I'm curious to know if this is just symbolism for the rain at the end of if it's a symbol for something I'm not familiar with.

I kind of wish Raya had more of a relationship with Namaari in the beginning, like if they'd grown up together, because Raya REALLY holds a grudge about Namaari betraying her despite the fact that, like... they knew each other for about 10 minutes. The baby's definitely not one of my favorite characters, but I like Boon. Obsessed with his commitment to selling food.

This is a movie that I don't love, but I do love the climactic scene because it hits brutally hard and plays with something I've never seen another piece of media play with, and I think that's super cool.

I think I'd be more interested in seeing a story about what life is like during these hard times rather than saving the world, which... isn't really something a movie would follow, but that's why we have fanfics. I like Namaari's relationship with her mom. I think I missed how her mom turned to stone because I didn't see any droon make a move for her? Did that happen 5 seconds after the canals were drained? Might've missed it.

I'd love to see this kind of concept (people turned to stone in a desert), but set it up so people are revived by dunking them in water and there's no easy access to water, so all you have is a small amount that you can rub on their lips or eyes so they can briefly see or talk to you before falling into corruption again. It wouldn't work well with the Raya plot, but I think that's sad- Little glimpses of hope, but then you slip away again. I might play with this kind of idea in some other magic system.

Frozen II - Not really what I expected? I liked the girls' dresses towards the end and I appreciated her continued naivety. Fascinated by Elsa's decision to move to a culture she knows nothing about, especially after showing the kingdom she can protect them from natural disastesr that might happen again.

Absolutely on the floor over the fact Kristoff spends the whole movie as a sexy lamp. There's a huge chunk of the time in the middle he's not onscreen at all. Yes, king, give us nothing!!!

10/10 hilarity in one of Anna's opening lines to this movie being "Who backstabs you after you give them a gift?" 5 minutes after watching Raya.

Big Hero 6 [2nd watch since release] - I'm not the audience for superhero movies so it's a bit meh to me, but I do think it's hilarious that Hiro upgrades his friends to superheroes because....... he just thinks it would be cool? If you went into this movie not knowing it's about superheroes, it comes out of nowhere and that's so flippin' funny. The scene where Wasabi stops at a red light during a car chase is always a good laugh.

Thoughts I had: "Hiro is so ready to put construction companies out of business and everyone in the crowd is okay with it" / "TADASHI how are you this smart and yet you still don't know that breathing in toxic gas will kill you? Did no one teach you why you don't run into a burning building without a suit?" / "Were there really that few people who died in the fire or is the person making the memorial doing it only for people they care about? That wasn't a long evacuation."

I don't really get the justification for them becoming superheroes in the end, like... I don't know who they're fighting? They just kind of do parkour? But good for them.

Baymax! Shorts - Pretty cute; I especially enjoyed Mbita developing a fish allergy while running a restaurant called Just Fish Soup. Devastating. I like how in the finale, you can see he changed the name to Smorgusbus.

Also I personally liked when Hiro went looking for Baymax's recent patients and that girl tells him he helped her with her period and Hiro doesn't think it's gross. Baymax's point in helping her was that it's natural and she shouldn't worry people will think she's gross for having one, so I'm glad Hiro didn't react badly to her.

Baymax's battery really does not give him enough warning to plug himself in if he can't even walk to the wall. I really thought that cat was going to plug Baymax in when he passed out, but it didn't... brutal. This cat has enough dexterity to make complex sculptures and I really thought it would help him but it left him there? Fantastic. No notes.

Strange World - Not one of my favorites and probably won't watch again, but interesting. I don't really have anything to say about it. Searcher and Meridian were cute; I really liked Mer'.

I wish Ethan's desire to live in harmony with creatures had been a little more pervasive, as it doesn't show up until late and doesn't really come up again. I don't think I understand what he's doing in the very last scene (I think he's gathering resources?)

"Interesting" and "Huh" are probably the words I'd use to describe this one.

100% Wolf - I didn't love it; emotions didn't hit right for me, MC was needlessly mean, plot twists a bit predictable, but it had some neat lore. I liked the housekeeper who isn't a werewolf. That makes so much sense. Absolutely wild to see the dog pound lady dancing while a human got sucked into the dog-killing machine.

Also I correctly identified Cripp as sharing his VA (Rhys Darby) with Neal the Eel from Carmen Sandiego (2019) and I thought that was funny.

Atlantis: The Lost Empire - Wow, this was a very loud opening sequence that switched into very quiet mumbling and the entire movie is like that.

Milo: /writes "coast of Ireland" on his whiteboard while talking about where he thinks Atlantis is.

Me: HY-BRASIL???

[It was not]

Very lively and interesting, detailed movie. I'd not seen it outside previews from VHSs or DVDs when I was a kid and I always wrote it off as "not interesting for me because it's about adults." Pretty cool to watch the snippets I remembered come together now that I'm an adult. Beautiful settings; I loved the cabin and bunks.

I really liked Helga. Set up with femme fatale vibes, out here making sure the crew eats healthy meals. A+ character. I have no questions.

One of my favorite tropes is forced proximity, especially when those involved have unique skills.

I'm a little surprised the Atlantean natives have such dark skin for living near Iceland before they went underground, as I thought skin tone was darker towards the equator. I remember reading recently about some exceptions, though I forgot what they were. I'll have to brush up on my knowledge for future worldbuilding projects.

Milo deep-diving with his glasses on... Sir? Also, what exactly is letting the plants bear fruit underground without the sun? The life force crystal can replace that too? Why are the clouds so low?

For a culture with ambiguous understanding of guns, I'm surprised how much the many, many Atlantean people held back when the item whose removal will literally kill them all was taken away from them. All of them against two guys and they didn't try to stop the Commander from driving off, even knowing they'd die anyway?

A lot more mechs than I expected and I don't think I understood a lot of what was going on with the magic or why. Not the biggest fan of how Milo/Kido is written; seems like they fell for each other after just an hour or so, but... guess it's only to be expected. I don't think I'll be watching the sequel.

Pocahontas II [2nd watch, 1st was maybe 8 to 10 years ago] - Intriguing to watch. I don't have much to say. I think they do disrespect and microaggressions well. Pocahontas calling them out is always funny. She's witty and I like that.

Also I thought it was funny when the king made a sexist remark and the scene cuts to the queen just looking at him sadly. Interesting to see how the length of some of these older movies differs from present-day Disney works.

It's SUPER interesting to see a sequel depict the MC falling in love with someone other than her love interest from the first movie, as that's not really something you see... ever, really. I wonder if this got a negative reaction when it came out and what the reaction would be for something like this in present day.

And whether it makes any difference to people considering that John Rolfe is who IRL Pocahontas married, though ofc this is a fictional interpretation of things.

I really like how John Rolfe was portrayed as being more understanding of Pocahontas whereas John Smith was still pushing at her to do things his way. Again, it's something I can see not going over well among those who don't like to see a character / main love interest with flaws, but this was an interesting movie to revisit.

Mulan II [2nd watch after many years] - It was nice to revisit this one. I remember not liking it much, but it's amusing to watch. Mushu's brutally selfish in this one, but that's in character. I still think it's funny that Mulan's dog is named Little Brother. I like the first song in this movie, but that's no surprise since I listen to it on occasion.

I dooooon't totally get why the princesses were so drastically against marrying "men they'd never met," yet immediately fell for men they hadn't even spoken to and were willing to marry them within 3 days?? That just seems too soon to know if you like someone? Gurls, these men got thrown of the matchmaking because they were self-absorbed and wanted women to fawn over them. please make sure you know what you're getting into.

Guards flirting with people they should strictly be platonic with and care for is one of my least favorite tropes, as doctor/patient is just so ingrained in me as an ethics violation :P That said, I think it works in some parts of this movie; I appreciate how the guards take the princesses to a town where they're interacting on equal playing field instead of while on duty. Yes, they were supposed to be on duty, but-

Okay, but... it just seems so unlikely for 6 people to fall for someone they've known for under a day, especially when the princesses are already engaged?? that's just so wild to me. The guards on like, Night 1 chatting that they think the princesses like them and I'm just holding my head like "Why would you ever think it's okay to flirt with them when you are literally on the road to their weddings and they haven't confessed their hesitations to marry the princes?" You are all soldiers; why can't you follow instructions? Ahhhh...

I did remember Mulan preparing to marry a prince in place of the princesses, but I forgot she thought Shang died, so that makes more sense than I remembered. All in all, nice to see again, but not one of my favorite romance stories.

Cars 3 - I went in not expecting much and I really liked it (Way more than Cars 2). I think more movies should showcase the struggle of accepting you've gotten old, actually. Every time an adult told Lightning that they grew up watching him race and he mentally bluescreened, I found it hilarious.

Lots of neat worldbuilding and details. I liked him struggling to learn to take naps and draft off other cars in a way he didn't need to when he was young. Very sweet movie. 10/10, would watch again and I look forward to Cars 4.

My one gripe is that Lightning doesn't look old so for most of the movie I thought people were exaggerating his age (I mean, he's in a sport and retirement age is lower there), and it's not until the end you really get the fact that oh, they weren't joking around with him- he is actually old... but I can forgive that since his job is to upkeep his appearance and he has a crew of people that do that for him.

I like how Lightning and Sally seem to be a couple, but they don't have kids even though baby cars and family lines are a thing in this world. Also I am dying to know how he fixed a broken trophy when he has no hands. I'm having some flashbacks...

[blujayonthewing]

7, 9, 11, 14 for Felix! [Shaking him like a magic 8 ball]

[cowbell rattling sfx]

7. favorite animal? why?

you know, thinking about it, I feel like this is one of the things we have in common lol-- how are you supposed to pick A definitive favorite animal?? there are so many good animals and they all have completely different merits!

he definitely has a soft spot for squirrels, having grown up with a lot of them around all the time. he really likes crows and pigeons; they're clever and friendly, tremendous gossips, and crows especially tend to have a great sense of humor. he also has a soft spot for rats, for a lot of personal reasons but also just because they're surprisingly intelligent and sweet. and all memeing aside, he really is a pretty major cat guy

9. favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?

to say he 'hates' fish is sort of an understatement; for one thing, he hates fish the same way most westerners hate spiders? which is to say it doesn't even parse as food at all, and the idea of eating it is gross on principle. but also seafood stinks and also (alive) fish are so slimy just-- WHY would you--!! he CANNOT with seafood on so many levels, lmao. he is generally sort of a picky eater-- not because he's particularly fussy, actually, he just has a couple of really strong textural aversions :\ he can't do cooked mushrooms at all (frustrating, there's a lot of mushroom in gnomish cuisine), he has trouble with marbled red meat and would rather just avoid it than fuss with it, he's very particular about eggs, etc

he likes apples, especially if they're really crisp. he likes a good grill cheese, which is maybe more of a comfort food than a 'favorite' food per se. There are definitely very traditional forest gnomish foods like spider or rabbit that he doesn't get to have much anymore, and misses whenever he's in the city for a long stretch of time; he does probably have a distinct favorite food, but I'm not sure exactly what it is yet, haha

11. what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

LET'S SEE. he loves animals and being outdoors; he draws, and carries a sketchbook (I do this rather less than I used to lol I need to get back into the habit). he's really curious about everything and loves learning and figuring things out. he really likes people and being around people, but doesn't feel like he knows how to interact with others-- he's much worse at people than I am, but we very much share a love of hanging around with other people without being expected or required to be the center of attention or 'participate' in something per se. he's very tactile, although he doesn't act on it as much as I do. he's got a non-zero number of Issues that were not intentional projection but coincidentally ended up aligning with some of my issues, which I'm not going to detail too much, partly to not tell on myself and partly because I'm trying to leave some things for justin to find out organically at the table as a fellow player, lol

he's DEFINITELY more proactive and adventurous than I am. a crucial difference is that he's not ruled by fear of embarrassment-- he's absolutely not immune to embarrassment by any means, he just doesn't let it stop him. on a couple superficial notes, I love seafood the most lmao, and felix does not like dogs. he would love big complex board games and hate ttrpgs (roleplaying would make him too nervous) :') for all my awkwardness, I very often have Can't Shut Up Disease, but he's pretty reserved, thinks a lot of thoughts but generally tries to keep them to himself, and even gets completely silent if he's stressed out enough

we would get along so well it's ridiculous lmao. I can forgive him about the dogs if he can forgive me about the sushi

14. are they any good with numbers?

yeah, I think so! he's got a good memory and a good mind for logic and problem-solving; he doesn't know any advanced mathematics or anything but he's generally Good With Numbers

ask about my OCs :3

[adhdzagreus]

oh this is just my headcanon, and bi/pan/omnisexual jonny is very good and valid too (tho i don't consider things confirmed via Word of God to be canon per se; i prefer to work with what's in the text)

i have basically two decent reasons for this headcanon (and a few self indulgent ones)

reason one: grossed out by nastya's horniness

okay so we all know jonny is icked by nastya talking about having sex with the aurora, and it's an extremely valid reading to assume this is bc she's his sister, and i fully support that reading! here's the line that sparked all this btw

he doesn't want to be on board the ship when nastya is having sex which can totally be explained by their sibling relationship.

this part where he responds to nastya and the aurora hooking up by flinging his chips down "in disgust" also supports that reading though i would like to point out that none of the other mechanisms seem that concerned by it.

again, he's grossed out by nastya talking about sex. if you want to read that as being more about nastya than the concept of sex as a whole that's fine, but i really enjoy reading him as asexual (will explain more later).

here we see jonny being grossed out by another comment of nastya's but this time it does not involve her and the aurora. and yes it's definitely about consent and him being respectful of sexual boundaries but also he's so not interested and lowkey offended that nastya would suggest that. which leads me to my next point.

reason two: only boundary the doc gave him

lots jumps out to me about this fiction. to me, it's a very interesting insight into jonny's character, but this part in particular warrants a lot of discussion.

first, his unusually laconic reply to callahan's question: "not raping." to me, this reads as very flat, terse even. he's blithe about his other crimes, opening the fiction by commenting that he thinks he killed 36 people but he was drinking at the time, but he's abrupt and offended at the suggestion he's committed this particular crime.

(the trope name for this btw is Rape Is A Special Kind of Evil and it makes sense to me that Mr. Sims would want to avoid any implications that his character has done that)

secondly, callahan wants to know why. jonny has no issues with killing people of all genders and he's done "every crime we have a name for" (which implies he committed tax evasion at some point which is funny) but "nothing sexual."

jonny's response is that he couldn't say why, but he guesses it was carmilla's influence. this line is widely open to interpretation. for example, you wrote that carmilla never convinced him of anything and he's just embarrassed to still have morals. which is excellent. just-an-enby-lemon says that carmilla just gave him a sex ed talk and he agreed. which is also excellent.

i personally think that any attempts to bioprogram him into being opposed to sex crimes got mixed up with his preexisting opinions on sex and made him super neurotic about the whole thing.

this should go without saying but obviously you don't have to be ace and/or sex-repulsed to be opposed to sex crimes. however in the case of jonny, i do think it's interesting that he draws such a hard line there when he has no problems with say, cannibalism or killing annoying children.

and none of the other mechanisms have anything to say on the matter. but pretty much any time sexuality comes up in the mechanisms, jonny is repulsed by it (in the context of nastya) or opposed to it (in the context of morally dubious sexual acts).

my less good reasons

i figure that jonny is the lead writer in and out of universe (somewhat confirmed by gender rebels where the toy soldier says they dont have any of their own songs) and the way he writes romance is very ace to me! it's much more emotional than physical and there's almost no kissing

jonny sims plays a bi ace character in the magnus archives and i enjoy that kind of parallelism

i'm aro and bi and i liked the idea. i think it's a fun twist on the character bc he talks a big game about being the captain and being so charismatic and all that and none of that is really true

he mentions there being women in his backstory on the crew page but the only woman in his backstory song is doc carmilla lmao? he lies

popular fanon has him as neurodivergent and adhd/autistic headcanons pair well with aro and/or ace headcanons. the communities are holding hands. (I am holding my own hand)

my favorite person in the world is ace and adhd and it makes them happy when i write our blorbo that way

TLDR he's got the vibes. he's a lil weird about sex. i love him and the headcanon makes me happy, but go forth and create all manner of jonnys. creature!jonny is not canon either and we still love him!

addendum: i am not opposed to the concept of jonny d'ville having sex. i wrote a whole series exploring his relationship to it. i think my headcanon is something close to gray-asexual sex-indifferent to sex-repulsed.

Absolutely gagged someone would read the line about queer orgies as Jonny being homophobic when I read it as confirmation of him being queer and just an asshole about Nastya’s sexual escapades with bonus sex-repulsed asexual flavor bc deadass every time Nastya brings up sex he’s grossed out and he is so so adamant that he’s not doing anything sexual on Metropolitan

[macabremuscle]

Pegging the Slashers (and Friends)

Exactly what you think it is. I can't tag you but to my challenger, you know you are. This for you mwah ❤️

Ok now do I REALLY think half these guys would take the strap? No. And that's ok because we care about consent here. But, for the sake of making things fun, let's just say everyone on this list is willing to say yes!

This ended up just being some HCs because with so many characters it's just a super long post. But if you want a separate drabble with a specific character, please drop an ask and I'll happily flesh that out

This is very spicy content below so shoo kids

Jesse Cromeans:

He won't want it frequently but occasionally if he's feeling soft or it's a special day, he'll agree to it

You wouldn't think so the way he'll absolutely love it. Definitely not a pillow princess, he's rocking his hips to meet your thrusts every time

There's no quickies with this guy. If you're gonna fuck him he wants a thorough job of it. Will make you stop moving just so he can edge himself and last longer. Now's the time to tease him since he normally doesn't let you get away with it when the roles are reversed

Erik Destler:

Probably also likes dildos on the larger side too as a big guy himself. We all know he's got a sex dungeon full of toys.

Every day is a sexy adventure for you two. But you doing this is still a little rare because he isn't naturally a sub. He's happy to do this on occasion for you though, and he loves how it feels

Oh good lord he's flustered once you explain it to him. You can't tell me this man ain't a virgin and I guarantee his idea of sex is very soft sweet and vanilla (which is valid!)

He's not opposed per se but he wants to think it over a bit and once you reassure him you'll take care of him, he accepts. It's going to be just as romantic as when he takes you. Candles and rose petals, the works. He wants to feel loved too after all and you always do such a good job making him feel it. This is new territory but he sees it as a chance for him to see what it's like for you

This man is your pillow princess. The sensations are foreign but overwhelming in the best possible way and he's stunned into being unable to do anything but moan. He's so damn sensitive you'll probably be able to pull quite a few orgasms out of him

He'll be very open to doing this again if he's being completely honest

Asa Emory:

Oh geez getting him to say yes is... Not gonna be easy. Not because he's got any issues with it. He just is a control freak and giving you that much power goes against his nature

He'll agree as a reward but it will be something pretty big so you better be on your best behavior

Still tops. Sorry but you're not bending him over anything. He'll take the strap on his terms darling. You lay there and look pretty while he bounces on your silicone cock

It's still a wonderful sight to behokd, seeing his collected exterior slowly crumble as he loses himself to pleasure. He might allow you to grip his hips and thrust into him but if he's not ready for that he'll grip you by the throat and push you down into the bed as a warning

You might get this a handful of times in your life so enjoy it while you can

Pamper him all you want baby. He'll be a little nervous at first because he's a virgin but it's sex with you and you've told him so much about how good he's gonna feel, he's very accepting and excited too

Brahms Heelshire:

Doesn't want any of that bdsm kinky stuff. Very intimate loving and tender sex for him thank you. He still wants all the praises and kisses as you rock his world

Now's the time to encourage his mommy kink to come out. He'll be embarrassed about it but it's not gonna stop him

Anytime he wants to get pegged he'll come find you and shyly ask you to do it. It's a little jarring when he's in those moods because it's such a 180 from his other mood of wanting to toss you on the bed and go to pound town

Karl Heisenberg:

Surprisingly readily agrees. What? You thought Mr Mad Scientist who lives in a factory alone in a secluded village hasn't ever gotten horny and put something up his ass? Please

He loves to tease however so you'll have to earn it. Wants you to be a little rough in a playful way so he'll only fight back a tiny bit before you pin him and he relents you as the victor.

I think he'd want to try some wild stuff like weird positions or wild dildos. Absolutely a bad dragon kinda guy. Hell go the full nine yards and tie him up. He's down for a little pain play. Love hate relationship with overstimulation. Honestly give yourself a treat and bind him up with a vibrator in his ass

You do this kinda thing like once a week he loves it

Thomas Hewitt:

Thomas.exe is officially broken. You've killed his brain. All he can do is turn red and stare at you. To be honest he may not know what pegging was until you explain it and it blows his mind

He's actually ok with it once the shock wears off. He has his moments of dominating you but as a switch he's always enjoyed you taking the reigns. So you domming him is no issue at all

You'll have to make sure the house is empty or go to some secluded part of the farm out of earshot. He's surprisingly loud for a man who doesn't speak. He can't help it. He's never felt this way before and it's so incredibly sexy of you

Not frequently getting pegged though simply because if his family found out he'd never hear the end of it. It's rare but it's always a treat

Pyramid Head:

Curious head tilt

He doesn't know what that is at all. You're gonna have to sit him down and give the full in depth lesson. This information is gonna blow his mind

Similar to Asa he'll be slightly adverse to it solely because he's never been one to give up control. He loves you but it's in his nature to struggle with being gentle and submissive. He'll really have to think it over and control some instincts to do this. But he's willing to try for you dearest.

Takes a little while to get used to it but once he does, he really enjoys the sensation. It's new to him but anything that brings pleasure will win him over. You don't get total control though. He's stroking himself the entire time and if you're moving too slow, he has no issue with grabbing your hips and moving you at the pace he wants. He's strong enough to do it with ease

Won't do it a whole lot but if you tease him for a while and get him worked up, he might be swayed again

Michael Myers:

One of the Slashers I think you'd have the least chance of convincing to do this let's be honest. This is gonna be a long term process. If he knows what it is, he'll refuse the first time you bring it up. He'll refuse it after you explain it if he isn't familiar

You don't beg or try to manipulate him into it but through the process of education and encouragement, he does get curious despite himself. Finally one day you'll come upstairs to find him holding out a strap to you, wordlessly telling you he's agreeing finally

You wouldn't think he'd be a pillow princess but... Yeah. He just kinda lays there. You spent so damn long asking him for this, you get to do all the work now. He always puts 100% effort into fucking you and often pins you in such a way it's hard for you to actually participate in anything besides taking his dick. So he thinks it's only fair. You want to peg him? Better peg him good then.

This might be a one off situation but from now on, you won't get your hand chopped off if you slip a finger in his butt

Bo Sinclair:

Oh yes Mr Alpha Male here is going to give you a hard time. Even if you're already a kinky person he'll be taken aback a bit by the request. But he'll eventually make it a game just to get to admit how bad you wanna do it. He loves hearing how desperate you are him

He comes to terms with the concept fairly early but won't let it on to you. It's a control thing for him too. So he'll make it a birthday surprise or something

Another who is still gonna top. But watching Bo ride is a reward all on its own. Especially if he's had a few beers or whiskey? He's really gonna make a show of it. God if only he'd let you take some pictures its drool worthy.

Thoroughly enjoys himself but wont let you have that much power too often. Offer him something he wants in return however and you have a 50/50 chance of him relenting

Lester Sinclair:

Is a bit shocked at first depending on your personality. If you're usually a sweet and soft person he's gonna have some mental whiplash over it

I HC that Lester is kind of a secret kinky kinda guy so after his shock is gone he's ready. Would probably want to go to a store and pick the toy out with you. He'd be bashful about it but definitely not ashamed

Likes things light hearted and fun so he's not gonna go for the BDSM level stuff. He can't get into it and he's probably laugh at the awkward roleplay you both attempt anyway. He wants it to be something you both enjoy. But you can absolutely pull his hair and maybe just maybe he'd like you to spit in his mouth

He doesn't turn it into a habit but if you can get him into the right mood he'll be happy to do it

Vincent Sinclair:

Blushy boy alert. You'll be worried you turned him off it completely with the way he excuses himself from the conversation so quickly

He's a switch but when he subs he SUBS. So he's excited to try this with you. Dominate him completely. Put his legs on your shoulders and make him beg for your cock. Loves it if you start slow but build up to a fast pace. On the flip side however, lazy sleepy pegging? Sign him the fuck up. Make him ride you though, he's too pretty to not enjoy that view

You both have a safe word in place but he'll be thrown for a loop if you suddenly take him roughly when he's getting close. Shove his head into the pillows and grab his hips for leverage? He's gonna cum in seconds. Bo won't look him in the eyes for a week after hearing those moans echoing out of Vincent's studio

Not interested in doing this all the time but yeah this won't be out of the norm for you guys

Jason Voorhees:

This is gonna be tricky. You know how he is about sex. It took him a long time to be ok with doing anything with you. But even then, most of that's pretty tame stuff. He's never brought up anything kinky on his own. You're sure he knows about it from things he's seen but he just never seemed interested in doing it with you

Explain it as you want to make him feel as good as he makes you feel. He's able to embrace it in that light. He's still a bit nervous though but he trusts you'll take care of him

You'll definitely need to go slow with him. Start with fingering him a couple times. Maybe rimming if you're into that. A few sessions for him to get acclimated to being touched there. You'll need to go slow for the big event as well because as happy as he is to try this, he's gonna be so nervous he'll be tense and stiff as a board. Give him a little bit. He'll let you know when he's ready for you to move

Is surprised by his own orgasm and upon reflection, he did enjoy himself. But I don't think this would be a super frequent thing between you two. But if you suggest it he'll probably oblige

Harry Warden: 

He's kinda offended at first because he takes it as a challenge to his being the dominant one. Hes got an ego. Talk it out and explain it's FOR his benefit mostly anyway. He needs time but once you plant that seed in his brain he's not going to be able to drop it

He'll approach you one day and huff out that he's ready. You can see the slight blush on his cheeks and he won't meet your gaze but he's already tenting his coveralls thinking about it so you know he wants it

He's gonna view it as a task at first. Won't be super receptive to any teasing or pillow talk. He's literally just focusing on not tensing up and breathing deeply. If you ask him if he wants to stop he'll shock you by rather aggressively telling you to keep going

Once you get going at a slow but steady pace he truly relaxes. The way he's feeling overrides the last of his nerves and despite himself he's truly able to melt into the moment. Now you can love on him and tease him a bit (but don't do too much)

He'll act indifferent about it whenever you try to discuss it but once in a blue moon he'll wordlessly approach you holding the strap, silently begging you to indulge him

Yautja:

Is already face down, ass up, cheeks spread for you. I will die on the hill that female yautja are more aggressive and bigger than the males and probably dominant the hell out of them every mating season. And you cannot tell me that doesn't lead to some hardcore pegging. You can try to argue otherwise but I know I'm right

Honestly probably knows more about it than you do which is actually quite helpful because he can tell you what he likes before you even start

He'll be beyond thrilled if you're rough with him. Pull his dreads, sink you teeth into his skin. If the both of you aren't marked up and bleeding by the end of it, was it any good? However, you can throw him a curve ball and give him the strap all slow and sensual. That might set him off more than the normal rough sex to be honest

Yeah this is a fairly regular thing for you both

[tempobrucera]

NSFW Alphabet - C

Pairing: Thomas x Fem!Reader Summary: Thomas never gets jealous. Almost never, but when the rare occassion appears, he's gonna bite. Literally. Word Count: 6315 Warnings: (Slight) jealousy issue (but that brings a cameo from Ethan), handcuffs, biting, scratching, spit, clothed sex, oral sex, fingering, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, cum, overstimulation. Also, please wash your hands before getting your fingers somewhere, at least you should, I know that doesn't even happen all the time in reality but, you know. (It's not happening here, just as a warning).

Thanks to Sofi and Evie for assuring me that this is actually good. And thanks to the 3 people who always reblog these, thank you <3

Taglist: @teatrodellavita, @teenyweenynightghost, @findaqueenwithoutaking, @findoutwhoyougonnacall, @little-moonbeam-666, @its-afucking-mess

If you use anything out of my writing or feel inspired by it, you ask or you link back to the fic. Thank you. If you don't, you're blocked from now on.

.__________.

Parts: A, B

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Part 1 (Parts aren't connected to eachother; but I wanted to write both)

Thomas wouldn't think about it. He would not pay it much attention, he cums, he get's rid of the condom as best as he can. That's it, not much to it. He likes it when you blow him and you swallow, very much, but he would say that that's different and he would reassure you that you don't have to do it if it's not what you want to do. No, he would watch you swallow it. That's it, not much to it either. That is until Damiano probably has the glorious idea wanting to make him blush as much as he manages in a day. Which definitely would end up in sex questions Thomas isn't going to answer, not even if they're his friends. It makes him wonder though. Because why the fuck is Damiano bothering him so much with questions like if he ever fucked someone without a condom or the even more embarrassing "Did you ever taste yourself, Thom?" question that stupidly enough doesn't want to leave his head. He would start with the no condom thing, it somehow seems less intimidating to him and he would still ask at least 5 times if you really want this (and probably at least another couple of times when he's already in you). But he would actually really enjoy it and as embarrassing as it is, he would try to tick these "Damiano questions" off and he would definitely use it when he's jealous which almost never happens or when he's pissed, to claim, so no one, including you, has any funny ideas.

.__________.

In your head the party is already going on for days, or at least hours but you're only here for an hour and a bit. The fact that Thomas dragged you here last minute instead of just staying in, cooking something and spending the night on the couch, isn't helping your mood. Not even the drink in your hand is helping to be honest. Thomas brought it to you before he pissed off and left you on your own. In a goddamn big fucking house, stacked to the top with people you don't or just barely know. And he just left you in a corner saying he would be back in a few minutes. Minutes that turned into an hour. All you want to do is go home, get buried under your blanket and forget that Thomas ever had managed to drag you here in the first place.

Being honest with yourself, you know that this is not your biggest mood killer at the moment. You're used to Thomas talking to people, having fun and especially forgetting the time. All not things you have issues with per se. If your mood wouldn't be as cold and bad as a Russian winter you would laugh about the time you had to get Thomas from the bar because he got himself into a semi philosophical conversation with the bartender for most of the night. You're also used to him being touched on the regular. By strangers, by the band, by friends, practically by everyone. But these people are too close for your taste. You can't stand the hand being placed on his hip, and the hand that brushes his hair out of his eyes, or that the same hand is lightening him a cigarette not even five seconds later. Jesus, not even one drink in and you feel like you want to vomit. Not because of any alcohol but because of the jealousy that sits low in your stomach and is making itself a home right there without you being able to kick it out. I hope you stupid thing pay rent, you think sarcastically. You hate to feel this way, you don't want to feel like that, you trust him, there's no reason for this nonsense. That Thomas apparently isn't capable of feeling jealous the slightest and the fact that he absolutely hates people being jealous isn't helping you right now. It makes you feel worse, everything is a recipe for disaster.

The song changes and you can see Thomas dancing and grinning. And being happy. And how he not even gives you a glance. Fuck, it stings. It hurts. You know that he doesn't want you to feel like this. You know it, you know it, you ... Give up, you can tell yourself that, but it's not going to help. Being so busy looking at Thomas, you don't notice that you're looked at as well. Only when Ethan appears next to you, can you feel his gaze on you: "Why aren't you with your crackhead over there?"

"Didn't you say you're not coming?", you ask back instead of answering. It's the reason why you didn't want to go in the first place. No people you know, most of them had other plans or just wanted a day off from people. It's honest surprise but you're happy to see a friendly face, one that you actually know.

"Simply changed my mind", he says. His eyes are wandering back to where Thomas is still dancing. "And?"

"Oh, crackhead over there first dragged me here, then left me alone after five minutes, saying he'll be back", you look at Ethan, "You know how he is."

The moment, you look back to the corner where Thomas is in, you instantly regret it. There's a hand on his face and you can't take it, you turn back to Ethan. Somehow you feel betrayed, you know it's your head messing with you but does it make that feeling go away? Your stomach is aching and ... "God, I feel sick!"

Ethan looks to the corner, back to you again and sighs: "You know, you could just go over?"

"No", you look at Ethan while he smiles at you, "Doesn't happen often but he doesn't like it, neither do I, I don't need a fight on top of it."

"You're right, I know how he is and right now he's an idiot extraordinaire."

Somehow Ethan seems to get you even when you only use half the words you should be using. He isn't pushing you either and just to know that he's standing next to you makes you feel better about yourself. Probably that's why you're just standing next to eachother for an amount of time that could be 3 minutes or an hour. Only when the song changes does Ethan look at you and speaks up again: "Oh, you want to dance?"

"What?" The surprise on your face must be more then visible for him to see. Usually Ethan isn't the type who's going around asking people to just dance with him when the mood strikes. That is Thomas' job, as soon as the thought is in your head, you're pushing it away again. Don't think about it, you're telling yourself, you can just have some fun on your own and everyone is going to be happy. You kind of catch the If you want to, I really love this song that comes from him, before you give him a proper answer: "Yes, actually, I would love that."

It's not weird at all. It's just so different from dancing with Thomas, that it shows that you're not used to dancing with eachother. But you both don't care and if it get's awkward for more than two seconds you're both laughing already before it really get's weird. Where Thomas would just drunkenly sway his hips (it always gets you staring), Ethan is moving like what other people would consider silly. When Thomas would have his legs flailing around, Ethan just mostly uses his arms. Where Thomas most definitely would have already gotten up on the next piece of furniture, pulling you with him, Ethan seems to be happy on the ground. And where Thomas and you would move closer together, Ethan just stays in his own little sphere. It's fun nonetheless until the song changes again and something slower starts playing this time. You're already preparing yourself to leave the people dancing behind but to your surprise again this time he does pull you closer. The slow dancing definitely works out better for the both of you, you have to laugh and put your head down on his shoulder. It feels strangely calming and you mutter a Thank you that probably doesn't get heard into his shirt.

"Oh, oh, your idiot is on the move", Ethan says really close to your ear, "And he looks like someone stole his favourite guitar."

Before you can even ask what he's talking about, you can feel a hand on your waist before it dips lower, slightly cold fingers are touching the skin under your shirt and Thomas who appears next to you, is pulling you closer to his side. Ethan is right, but also slightly off. Thomas doesn't look like someone stole his favourite guitar, he looks like someone set it on fire on front of him and told him to his face that everything he ever wrote is shit while burning that on top of it. No, Thomas doesn't look sad, Thomas looks like he's two or three drinks in (but to everyone's surprise it always takes more than that to get him to the state of clearly tipsy) and pissed.

"You having fun?" The question isn't directed at you, it's going in Ethan's direction who doesn't even bother to answer. In your direction goes a more direct: "I think, we should go home."

For a moment you want to disagree with him, now that you also are having fun and there's no need to leave early anymore, he should've thought about this before, but you don't. What he get's instead probably also isn't what he expected.

"Sure, we can share a ride, drop me off at mine on your way home." There's a slight chuckle coming from Ethan who is winking at you, Thomas is still looking at you with this gaze you can't quite pinpoint. "I'm getting my coat."

When you come back you stop in your tracks when you can hear them talk.

"No, tell me! What do you think, you're doing?" Thomas.

"As I told you before already, you're a dickhead, Thomas. It's not my problem that you can't see that, is it?" Ethan.

Noticing that you really don't want to eavesdrop on them, your feet are moving again. After you say bye to Ethan with a hug, muttering another Thanks and Thomas just grumpily saying Bye in his general direction time feels both like not passing at all and passing to quickly until the driver stops in front of your house, a few windows illuminated with light and your windows dark. To your wonder Thomas is paying the driver and gets out of the car as well. Definitely not what you agreed on.

"You going to walk from here?"

"No!?", he looks at you confused, messing with his hair, "I thought ... Can I come up?"

There's more messing with his hair, stepping nervously from one foot to the other. Only when you don't say anything for what feels like an eternity he's giving in: "Please?"

"Sure, you can have the couch", you let him know while you're fishing for the keys in your pockets.

"Okay."

It's quiet when you both go up the stairs, get into your flat, get out of your jackets, your shoes. Usually Thomas is what Italians call chiacchierone, always talking, a chatterbox through and through. You don't trust the quiet but there's nothing you plan on doing against it.

When you turn around from putting your shoes away, Thomas is close, almost stepping on your feet. He doesn't look as nervous anymore, but you can see that look he gave you at the party again, the one you still can't place. Somehow he manages to get even closer and before you can say anything, he has you pressed against the wall.

"Maso", it doesn't even count as half a protest. Every protest would have died the second, Thomas presses his lips to yours, anyways. There's absolutely nothing romantic or careful about it. He presses you against the wall harder, while he gets his tongue even deeper into your mouth. If dancing with Ethan earlier wouldn't have helped a tiny bit already, this would have been the moment silencing all the thoughts in your head. It still is. It's hungry. Intense. Somehow you manage to get your fingers into his somewhat sweaty hair. Pulling him off your lips slightly, you don't even have time to really catch your breath, before he gets in for an even rougher and sloppier kiss again. He only ends it when you're pulling his hair a bit too harsh for his liking, a little growl leaving his lips. "Thom, Thomas."

He still has you pressed against the wall. Escape wouldn't even be an option if you would like to get out of his embrace, sometimes it amazes you, how strong he actually is for such a lightweight. Bites and kisses are left all over your neck before he reaches your collarbone, pushing your shirt out of the way and leaves bite marks there, slowly grinding his crotch into your side. His smell leaves a foggy veil over your brain. It's a mixture of too many different things. It's of alcohol, a parfume that's absolutely not his nor is it yours and your brain decides the second the smell hits that it is way too sweet and bubblegummy on him, cigarettes, his shower gel, sweat and still him somehow. Too much, you just want to bury your nose into his armpits to smell just him. In return to all the biting, you bite his arm, still covered from the fabric of his shirt, finally getting his attention. The growl is louder, more desperate, this time. "Thomas!"

The biting stops, he's just looking at you for a while, pressing you against the wall: "Sorry, uhm sorry, I got it ... I - I'm getting the couch."

"We ...", you can't silence your moan when he bites down on your neck again, a slight peng of pain shooting through you, "Definitely. When - when we're done with this here. You're definitely sleeping on the couch."

"Hmmm!", he apologetically licks over the bite mark he just left, "Not what or how I wanted it or how I wanted my night to end but I'll take it."

"Wait ... what? Are you pissed now because I'm jealous and you don't like that or because it didn't go your way? You didn't get what you wanted?" There's a hint of confusion in your voice, probably not only noticed by you.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna stop until you get it." He traces your shoulders with his nose while talking to you, bumping into all the spots he left sensitive, either by accident or with full intent, you can't tell. Neither can you tell if you should take his words as a threat or a promise. "And I'm gonna sleep on the couch, I promise. But first I'm getting what I wanted, you with me?"

All you can do is nod that you understood, giving your approval.

"I'm not an idiot!", he tells you even though there's no need to tell you this, you never thought he's dumb or unintelligent, at least not like that, "I don't have to look at you, to know where your eyes are, you know? I know they were on me at least until fuckin' Ethan turned up out of fucking nowhere."

"Thom, that doe-"

He shushes you before you can even finish your sentence: "I'm talking right now!"

"So", Thomas starts again after he's sure that you're listening to him while also slowly starting to get you out of your jeans, "You going to look at me now. I'm going to get something while you sit down on that chair over there and then you're going to look at me while we have fun. I'm going to fuck you until you fuckin' get it."

"Okay."

You're throwing your head back, banging it against the wall, when he presses his thumb into the wet spot on your underwear, simultaneously pressing himself against you.

"No, no, no." Voice deep and low. He's scratching over your stomach with one hand, getting you out of your jeans completely with the other. Then using that hand, to pull on your hair. "You're going to look at me. No fucking ceiling, no goddamn furniture, no fucking wall. Only at me!"

He probably does say something about leaving the room but your brain is still clouded, you can't bother to catch up with your surroundings. You do sit down on one of the kitchen chairs, you could see from the hallway and he pointed to earlier though. It takes him longer than you first expected, giving you time to get at least some of your brain functions back. Slowly catching up with Thomas' behaviour and that weird look he gave you. It's slowly making more sense but it still doesn't make sense enough. Thomas isn't the type to get jealous over nothing or to make a scene about it, neither is it the first time that you spent time with one of the band when he was lost in time. No, you still can't quite place it, even when you're sure that's what you're dealing with here. Jealousy. In the back of your head you make a mental note to send Ethan a Thank You card or whatever one does in such a situation.

You almost miss that Thomas is back but you hear things falling onto the kitchen table next to you. Not much when you have a closer look, lube and something that looks like a box of condoms. If you wouldn't know that he absolutely means it this second, you would at least chuckle. The items on the table still don't explain what took him so long, he knows where these things are.

Kisses on your arm are slowly getting your attention back to him, you want to turn but he stops you: "Can you put them behind the back for me?"

"Yeah", you put them behind the backrest of the chair as he wants you to, "What are you doing, Maso?"

"I want to try something, if you're up for it?" It sounds more like a question than anything else. There's something that feels a lot like leather caressing your wrists, but he pulls it away when you don't say anything.

"Are these ...?" You know that you don't have to ask the full question for him to understand you.

"Hmm, yes", he leaves another trail of kisses on your arm, "Only if you want to."

"Sure, sure. I'm up for it." There's more kisses on your other arm while his hands are busy tying yours up into the padded leather cuffs.

Cuffs the rest of the band got for his birthday more than a few months ago. As a joke or maybe not so much as a joke because Victoria of course got wind of the fact that Thomas doesn't own any sex toys of his own. You remember Thomas politely saying "Thank you", slight blush creeping up from his chest. Ethan asking if he's ever going to use them. Vic deciding to answer the question before Thomas even had the chance to open his mouth. "He's wild in bed. You maybe can't see it but I can. His nosy ass will get the better of him and they'll try it sooner or later". Damiano snorting beer through his nose because he had to laugh a little too hard when he saw Thomas face. In the end his present ended up at yours, far away from his tiny room and questions it might entail. He told you to just put them away with the tiniest blush around his nose and they ended up in a box with some of your own things. Your own things - that's why it took him so long to find them. A tiny part of yourself wants to ask him if he found anything interesting in there, the other part kind of wants to die on the spot. But Thomas doesn't say anything in that kind of direction, so you don't bring it up.

What he does instead confuses you even more for a second. You can hear the door of the fridge opening behind you. His reflection in the kitchen window is showing you that he gets the bottle of white wine you opened together a few days ago, pouring himself a glass.

"I would offer you some as well", he says when he passes you, going to the window you are still looking at, laughing for a few seconds, "but, I guess, your hands are kinda tied."

"Wha-?" You cut yourself short because for a moment you have to laugh as well. Deciding that it's better to keep quite isn't hard when you see him look at you. Thomas seemingly unimpressed is just getting a pack of cigarettes out of his jeans pocket, opening the window, looking at you when he lights himself one. So this is how this goes. He's sitting on your window sill, legs apart. Alternating between sipping on his wine and taking a drag from his cigarette, blowing smoke outside. Clearly staring at you, it makes you squirm a little bit. "God, I got it, you're an asshole now."

"No, wrong! But you're looking at me now, I like that." If you wouldn't believe him anyways after his earlier words, the slight bulge in his jeans would be a clear indicator that he's not lying about it.

Slowly Thomas is getting up and you expect him to stub out his cigarette at the outside wall as he does usually but he doesn't. He closes the window and comes closer to you. You only close your eyes for a few seconds, when you open them again he's close, tracing his lips up your neck. Blowing smoke against your skin, getting him a tiny shaky moan from you, slightly scratching your waist: "Eyes still on me!"

"I- I'm looking." There's another, last, drag from his cigarette. Your eyes follow his hand movement, stubbing the cigarette out on your kitchen table. Somehow you still register that it's the far end of the table, so there's no real risk that the ash is getting on your skin. "You're cleaning that ... Fuck, Thomas, you're disgusting."

He laughs, breaths the last bit of smoke somewhere against your shoulder: "Yeah, but you don't really care, do you now. No, you think I'm hot." The second you open your mouth to give him an answer, he gives you a kiss. "That wasn't a question."

For longer than you would admit, especially to Thomas at this moment, you regret having agreed to the cuffs. You want to bury your hands in his hair, pulling him closer into the next open mouthed kiss he gives you. You want to pull him away when he manages to graze a spot on your neck with his teeth which he already bit at least three times before. You want to get your hands into his hair when he kisses down over your cleavage, over your shirt, between your boobs. But you can only tremble, looking how he moves further down. He stops before he reaches the waistband of your panties. Instead of pulling them down he's pushing up your shirt, kissing the newly exposed skin, scratching it lightly with his teeth as well. He pushes your shirt up some more, chuckling to himself, before he loosely let's it fall down again: "Well, look at me being stupid again. Should have thought about that before using them on you."

"Thomas, you're not -"

"Don't!", interrupting before you can even speak seems to be one route to get his way today, "I had to tie you to a chair to get your attention back, otherwise I would try to arrange my legs on your couch right now, so I'm clearly doing something wrong today. Also let me give you a hint, I waited for you to come over."

"Thomas, I would have thrown my drink in your face." Instead of responding he's pulling your hips forward, moving his nose against your waistband, putting one of your legs over his shoulder. When he looks up at you and sees that you're still looking at him, he smiles at you before moving further down, kissing your inner thighs. "Ok, not coming over wasn't your real problem anyways."

"No, it was only a hint." With his next movement he's bumping his nose in the wet spot of your panties, he's making a pleased noise when you moan in pleasure.

You're not prepared for him to let spit run down from his tongue, spreading it over the fabric of your underwear. He genuinely laughs when he sees your face and says: "You already called me disgusting, might as well."

He's licking up and down your panties, his tongue flat against you. Just from time to time is he using more pressure also trailing a tiny amount of more spit over you. The fabric is almost uncomfortably clinging to your skin by now. You think, you're lucky enough to get out of them, when Thomas grabs your waist, slowly pulling your panties to the side with his mouth - careful not to use his teeth this time - slightly nudging his nose into your clit a few times. He even pushes one of his fingers into you slowly, pushes it in and out of you even slower a couple more times. Probably even for a few minutes. But you aren't getting lucky, he pulls his finger out and lets the fabric snap back again. You are no longer really aware of the sounds you are making, just from time to time you can hear Thomas' occassional moans and little growls.

Feeling him alternating kissing and licking your clit has your breath hitch in your throat. The desire to pull him closer to you by his hair is growing again but you can't free your hands, you can only hear a slight jingle when you move them behind your chair.

"Thom, please." Or you could use your hands to finally get rid of your underwear. Panties that were thin to start with, being wet now even more, but the thin layer still feels like too much of a barrier for you. "Please take them off, I can't cum like this."

"I'm gonna make you."

It drives you crazy that he's looking up at you out of these big eyes while moving his tongue, pressing it against wet fabric. Even pushing his tongue into you the tiniest bit, as much as the fabric allows him to, slowly finding a rhythm, bumping his nose into your clit again, building up that tingling sensation of heat in your lower stomach. You aren't even aware anymore that you're telling him not to stop. You're looking at him when you cum, squeezing your leg behind his shoulder, to at least draw him in closer like this.

Minutes pass, Thomas just kissing your inner thighs, your hips. Leaving trails of them everywhere until he thinks you calmed down enough.

He's deliberately pushing two fingers into you. The fabric isn't getting him to far, but it's enough to draw a whimper out of you. "I know, bonazza, I know."

Thomas is getting you out of your panties, which definitely need a wash, after another whimper is coming out of your mouth.

"You okay?", he asks you and you can only bring yourself to a quiet yes but it seems to be enough for him, "Good, just a reminder, you still have to look at me."

"I am looking at you."

He's unbuttoning and unzipping his own jeans, groaning while doing it, palming his dick through the jeans for a bit, pressing down on it lightly afterwards: "You gonna cum on my fingers and then I'm going to fuck you."

Thomas is grabbing the lube from the kitchen table even though you're sure he wouldn't necessarily need it this time. It feels cold when he touches, pushing one finger in. Slowly gliding in and out of you.

"Let me give you another hint, I didn't know these people, neither did you."

At this point you can only nod, you're only getting half of what is being said or happening. You can only concentrate enough to look at him.

"You want more, hmm?", he's adding another finger, pushing them against that spot in you that has you lifting up your hips, "God, remind me not to do all the work next time."

He presses kisses to your stomach, lightly pressing one of his calloused fingers to your clit. It has you sobbing in displeasure, but he soothes you pressing more kisses to your hips, taking the pressure off and only slightly touching before taking his finger away completely, then just lightly stroking around your clit.

You can already feel the heat in your stomach again, so much earlier to what you thought it would take to get you there again. That Thomas is ocassionally moving his hand over his jeans when he's not holding you by your waist, making pleasured sounds of his own isn't helping the spinning in your head or the clenching around his fingers.

"Come on, cara. Can you look at me again?"

You didn't even notice that you threw your head back but you're looking at him again when your orgasm hits. Almost to intense, you almost break eye contact to look at the ceiling instead.

"That's it. Fuck, you look hot." He really gently pulls his fingers out of you. You moan when you see him sucking them between this lips, cleaning them up. There's a smirk on Thomas' face when he let's them plop out of his mouth, it sounds filthy.

It takes him a while to get your hands out of the cuffs, because instead of going behind you, he is trying to get them off in the position he's in right now. Usually you would complain but he's leaving even more kisses all over your skin, that you can't even bring yourself to think about complaining for real. Finally when your hands are free, you're getting them into his hair. Pulling him even closer first and then pulling him up to your face, drawing him in for a kiss. Finally he is getting himself out of his jeans and his briefs. Shamelessely moaning into your mouth when he strokes himself a couple of times. Thumbling forward when Thomas pulls you up onto legs wasn't in your plans but your legs feel weak and Thomas catches you. Whispering I've got you against your temple.

The embrace is short and he is turning you towards the table while still not letting go of you. Out of the corner of your eye you can see how he grabs one of the condoms, ripping the wrapper open but then stopping in his movements, looking at you questioningly.

"I'm really not feeling that right now", Thomas says, kissing a spot between your shoulder blades. "Fuck, I want to cum inside you."

It's not like he didn't already scratch and bite every inch of naked skin he could reach. No, he has to go there as well. Lying to yourself isn't going to work, you want this as much as he wants to do this and that's why you only say: "Oh fuck, Thom, please!"

He leans you forward on the table, leaning his chest down over your back. His hands wander under your shirt, up to your ribcage, leaving scratches at places he couldn't reach as easily before. He's lazily leaving little bites on your shoulder blades as well, this time through the fabric of your t-shirt but even with it not being that intense it doesn't miss it's mark. All while grazing you with his cock but not actually pushing in.

"Yeah, fuck, I know, you need this."

"I want to look at you, Maso." It's more a whine than actual words or what your voice sounds like during day-to-day life. You know, you can look at him. It's just that the angle is weird and you can't keep your head up as much as you want to with his weight leaning onto you. He's tugging at your hair lightly, helping and pushing inside you with slow steady motions. For a while he's thrusting into you like this, the only thing you can hear is Thomas' moans against your ear. Slowly he pulls out completely, pushing the tip back in, pulling out, pushing half way in, pulling out again. Starting over, repeating the whole ordeal and repeating it again and again and again. Torture, you're sure that this is close to torture. Being denied what you really want in this moment and the toll of two orgasms finally catching up with you. You are this close to crying.

"P-please."

"Believe me, this is much harder for me then it is for you", he's panting behind you, "And I really want to cum badly in you right now."

"I got it. Fuck Thomas, I got it", you want to scream at him but you're also whimpering and you can't get your voice any louder, "You are jealous, you wanted attention and I gave it to someone else, to someone you know. I got it. God, please."

"Good enough, I guess, I'll let it count but I'm still telling you", he pushes into you harder, more forcefully, "I didn't know these people and I don't give a fuck about them. I will forget them by tomorrow. You fucking know that. I have to talk to people and I don't need watch dogs. You fucking know .... that ... as well because you aren't like this normally. I wanted you to come over and have fun .... With me but you just stared at me looking like you wanted me death."

You're sure he isn't done talking yet, so you say nothing. Thomas is holding onto your hips, pulling you onto him as hard as he can. Pushing you down with the next movement, just to pull you into him wildly again with the one after. You're trying to match or at least to really meet his thrusts but he's slowly but steadily losing control. So are you.

"I wanted you to come over and dance with me but you decided to have fun with one of my friends and forgot that I even exist. When you were already clearly pissed with me, what do you expect me to do?" He thrusts into you even harder, getting deeper and you can only roll back your eyes. "It was getting a drink in my face or this. I dance better than him as well, you know, I just wanted you to -"

This time you're cutting him off, pulling him into a kiss and another one when he breaks the first one.

"Thomas, I got it, really. I'm sorry."

He's fucking you harder with every thrust he gives you, pushing your abdomen against the table edge. You're almost sure that you'll have bruises there tomorrow as well and and on your hips, which Thomas still holds tightly. There's only one slight touch to your sensitive clit and you can't make a coordinated movement anymore. He's going not as hard now, still fucking you through it, but you can feel him twitch inside of you, telling you that he isn't done yet with his voice lower than usual. You almost mewl when you cum. It's so much, too much.

You can feel Thomas shudder behind you, he's the one who whimpers now, you can feel him cum, his thrusts getting lighter and slower until he stops alltogether but still isn't pulling out. When he does, he replaces his cock with two of his fingers, lazily fucking his cum back into you with them.

"Shhhh, just a few more minutes", he says when he notices you writhe under him, "I'm almost done, just this."

He does slow down his movements even more. The moans that are coming from him make it worth it, you think. However he's brushing one spot inside of you after a few minutes that has you squirming away from him again, this time he lets you.

"Sorry, I - I just really like this." He bends over you to kiss your chin, his hair tickling you, pulling his fingers out almost too slowly. "I like that I can see and feel it."

For a long time neither of you is saying anything.

"I would apologize, you know, for real and all that but I just had some of the hottest sex of my life because of you losing it for once, so it might has to wait until tomorrow", you break the silence.

"Does that mean I don't have to exile on the couch anymore?" He looks at you hopefully. "I'm sorry though, Ethan was right, I'm a dickhead and I really should apologize. You can't read my mind, he was right with that one as well."

You throw a cleaning cloth in his direction: "You are going to clean this mess here first, then we can talk about the couch situation."

If your legs wouldn't give in when you're brushing your teeth, your eyes too heavy to stay properly open, you maybe would feel disgusted that you're skipping the shower and go straight to bed. You can hear Thomas humming something in the kitchen when you pass through the corridor. The only thing you manage to do is getting out of your bra and falling into your bed, not even bothering with the blanket that falls off the bed in the process.

When you feel the matress dip next to you, you're almost asleep already. Thomas is getting behind you, pulling the neglected blanket over both of you and cuddling closer, wrapping one arm around you.

"Nu' ride, sei 'a persona a cui tengo de ppiù."

Translation:

bonazza - good looking, hottie (but emphasized in comparison to "bona") "Nu' ride, sei 'a persona a cui tengo de ppiù." - "Don't laugh, you’re the person I care about the most." (The Italian is not standard Italian, it's Romanesco (I think I still remember most of the common rules for it), in both cases :))

I only had the last few paragraphs in the beginning and then my brain decided that this definitely needs a believable backstory and made 6k words out of it.

[bonejunky6669]

Warning for this (rant? Messy essay?) I am going to be VERY blunt. So don't go complaining in the replies. I just need people to understand this issue.

Was gonna talk about this anyway but Turning Red has really hardened my resolve to address this. TEENAGERS ARE NOT INNOCENT. TEENAGERS ARE NOT PURE. teens and tweens are horny and have crushes and make crass and sexual jokes and curse and even have sex with each other! People who are saying Turning red is "adultish" obviously do not remember what it was like to be 13. But I was 13 only three years ago, so i can with certainty that that is exactly what they think about and how they act. It isn't inappropriate to acknowledge this. Of course it's creepy if an adult were to be writing or drawing minors doing explicitly sexual things for the purpose of sexual gratification, but to include these themes in stories, or just bring them up, is not wrong. Its realistic.

I see this a lot on twitter. I had come across someone trying to get people to report and unfollow someone because they made a "sexual" joke about lumity. The joke was very tame, obviously not intended to say "hey! Im a pedophile sexualizing these kids!" and i honestly thought it was funny. Because from my perspective as a teenager, luz and amity experiencing sexual attraction towards each other, or even acting on it in mild ways is likely and relatable. That's not wrong for someone the same age as them, or even an adult, to acknowledge. Because its a real thing in the real world that people experience everyday. Because everyone has or will experience it. I think people who are online too much forget that some things are actually normal and occur in everyday life. These people aren't creating a more inclusive and safe space. They're creating shame. Fandom spaces have been so plagued by soft boi uwu'ness and purism and a disconnect from reality that people seem to forget that teenagers fuckin have sex in school bathrooms and make out in hallways and shit. Literally like 3 weeks i walked into two people having sex in the bathroom at school! Literally everyday me and my friends make sexual jokes! I once overheard a group of girls explicitly talking about how they wanted to fuck some guy! Cause that's what its like to be a teenager! Because were constantly being effect by puberty and hormones that are out of our control!

It isn't bad for a teenager, to have sexual thoughts or create sexual material, about another teenager(which i feel like should be obvious). I once saw someone say in an anonymous ask that they felt guilty for writing smut fanfiction about two underaged characters even though they're the same age as said characters(15). The responder pretty much just said "that's still wrong and you shouldn't do that". Obviously, the anon could be lying about their age. But hypothetically, if they were 15, why would that be wrong of them to do? Why would it be wrong of a 15 year old to find a 15 year old character attractive? Or have sexual thoughts and feelings about them? Or to safely explore these thoughts and feelings through writing? It's things like this that have been continuously creating shame and embarrassment in adolescence for things that are completely natural for like forever. That makes teenagers feel like they can't talk about this stuff and repress themselves and end up engaging in unhealthy outlets for these feelings.

It isn't wrong for teenagers to think someone is hot or sexy. It isn't wrong for teenagers to become aroused or masturbate. It isn't wrong for teenagers to look at porn. It isn't wrong for teenagers to engage in sexual activity with one another! It isn't always "right" per se, but it's not wrong. It's a normal and common thing that im so glad is being acknowledged (in a mild way) in Turning Red. I think more movies centered around teens need to include those themes. I think fandom spaces need to stop treating teenaged characters like they're pure and sexless beings.

Again, if an adult is treating this as "im gonna create explicit material of minors for my own satisfaction" than yeah, that's fucking disgusting. But for someone to bring this up, to discuss it in a tasteful and civilized way, to be inspired by their own experiences or what they relate to, is not wrong.

[niseamstories]

10 Lessons on Realistic Worldbuilding and Mapmaking I Learned Working With a Professional Cartographer and Geodesist

Hi, fellow writers and worldbuilders,

It’s been over a year since my post on realistic swordfighting, and I figured it’s time for another one. I’m guessing the topic is a little less “sexy”, but I’d find this useful as a writer, so here goes: 10 things I learned about realistic worldbuilding and mapmaking while writing my novel.

I’ve always been a sucker for pretty maps, so when I started on my novel, I hired an artist quite early to create a map for me. It was beautiful, but a few things always bothered me, even though I couldn’t put a finger on it. A year later, I met an old friend of mine, who currently does his Ph.D. in cartography and geodesy, the science of measuring the earth. When the conversation shifted to the novel, I showed him the map and asked for his opinion, and he (respectfully) pointed out that it has an awful lot of issues from a realism perspective.

First off, I’m aware that fiction is fiction, and it’s not always about realism; there are plenty of beautiful maps out there (and my old one was one of them) that are a bit fantastical and unrealistic, and that’s all right. Still, considering the lengths I went to ensure realism for other aspects of my worldbuilding, it felt weird to me to simply ignore these discrepancies. With a heavy heart, I scrapped the old map and started over, this time working in tandem with a professional artist, my cartographer friend, and a linguist. Six months later, I’m not only very happy with the new map, but I also learned a lot of things about geography and coherent worldbuilding, which made my universe a lot more realistic.

1)  Realism Has an Effect: While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with creating an unrealistic world, realism does affect the plausibility of a world. Even if the vast majority of us probably know little about geography, our brains subconsciously notice discrepancies; we simply get this sense that something isn’t quite right, even if we don’t notice or can’t put our finger on it. In other words, if, for some miraculous reason, an evergreen forest borders on a desert in your novel, it will probably help immersion if you at least explain why this is, no matter how simple.

2)  Climate Zones: According to my friend, a cardinal sin in fantasy maps are nonsensical climate zones. A single continent contains hot deserts, forests, and glaciers, and you can get through it all in a single day. This is particularly noticeable in video games, where this is often done to offer visual variety (Enderal, the game I wrote, is very guilty of this). If you aim for realism, run your worldbuilding by someone with a basic grasp of geography and geology, or at least try to match it to real-life examples.

3)  Avoid Island Continent Worlds: Another issue that is quite common in fictional worlds is what I would call the “island continents”: a world that is made up of island-like continents surrounded by vast bodies of water. As lovely and romantic as the idea of those distant and secluded worlds may be, it’s deeply unrealistic. Unless your world was shaped by geological forces that differ substantially from Earth’s, it was probably at one point a single landmass that split up into fragmented landmasses separated by waters. Take a look at a proper map of our world: the vast majority of continents could theoretically be reached by foot and relatively manageable sea passages. If it weren’t so, countries such as Australia could have never been colonized – you can’t cross an entire ocean on a raft.

4)  Logical City Placement: My novel is set in a Polynesian-inspired tropical archipelago; in the early drafts of the book and on my first map, Uunili, the nation’s capital, stretched along the entire western coast of the main island. This is absurd. Not only because this city would have been laughably big, but also because building a settlement along an unprotected coastline is the dumbest thing you could do considering it directly exposes it to storms, floods, and, in my case, monsoons. Unless there’s a logical reason to do otherwise, always place your coastal settlements in bays or fjords.

 Naturally, this extends to city placement in general. If you want realism and coherence, don’t place a city in the middle of a godforsaken wasteland or a swamp just because it’s cool. There needs to be a reason. For example, the wasteland city could have started out as a mining town around a vast mineral deposit, and the swamp town might have a trading post along a vital trade route connecting two nations.

 5)  Realistic Settlement Sizes: As I’ve mentioned before, my capital Uunili originally extended across the entire western coast. Considering Uunili is roughly two thirds the size of Hawaii  the old visuals would have made it twice the size of Mexico City. An easy way to avoid this is to draw the map using a scale and stick to it religiously. For my map, we decided to represent cities and townships with symbols alone.

 6)  Realistic Megacities: Uunili has a population of about 450,000 people. For a city in a Middle Ages-inspired era, this is humongous. While this isn’t an issue, per se (at its height, ancient Alexandria had a population of about 300,000), a city of that size creates its own set of challenges: you’ll need a complex sewage system (to minimize disease spreading like wildfire) and strong agriculture in the surrounding areas to keep the population fed. Also, only a small part of such a megacity would be enclosed within fantasy’s ever-so-present colossal city walls; the majority of citizens would probably concentrate in an enormous urban sprawl in the surrounding areas. To give you a pointer, with a population of about 50,000, Cologne was Germany’s biggest metropolis for most of the Middle Ages. I’ll say it again: it’s fine to disregard realism for coolness in this case, but at least taking these things into consideration will not only give your world more texture but might even provide you with some interesting plot points.

 7)  World Origin: This point can be summed up in a single question: why is your world the way it is? If your novel is set in an archipelago like mine is, are the islands of volcanic origin? Did they use to be a single landmass that got flooded with the years? Do the inhabitants of your country know about this? Were there any natural disasters to speak of? Yes, not all of this may be relevant to the story, and the story should take priority over lore, but just like with my previous point, it will make your world more immersive.

 8)  Maps: Think Purpose! Every map in history had a purpose. Before you start on your map, think about what yours might have been. Was it a map people actually used for navigation? If so, clarity should be paramount. This means little to no distracting ornamentation, a legible font, and a strict focus on relevant information. For example, a map used chiefly for military purposes would naturally highlight different information than a trade map. For my novel, we ultimately decided on a “show-off map” drawn for the Blue Island Coalition, a powerful political entity in the archipelago (depending on your world’s technology level, maps were actually scarce and valuable). Also, think about which technique your in-universe cartographer used to draw your in-universe map. Has copperplate engraving already been invented in your fictional universe? If not, your map shouldn’t use that aesthetic.

9)  Maps: Less Is More. If a spot or an area on a map contains no relevant information, it can (and should) stay blank so that the reader’s attention naturally shifts to the critical information. Think of it this way: if your nav system tells you to follow a highway for 500 miles, that’s the information you’ll get, and not “in 100 meters, you’ll drive past a little petrol station on the left, and, oh, did I tell you about that accident that took place here ten years ago?” Traditional maps follow the same principle: if there’s a road leading a two day’s march through a desolate desert, a black line over a blank white ground is entirely sufficient to convey that information.

10) Settlement and Landmark Names: This point will be a bit of a tangent, but it’s still relevant. I worked with a linguist to create a fully functional language for my novel, and one of the things he criticized about my early drafts were the names of my cities. It’s embarrassing when I think about it now, but I really didn’t pay that much attention to how I named my cities; I wanted it to sound good, and that was it. Again: if realism is your goal, that’s a big mistake. Like Point 5, we went back to the drawing board and dove into the archipelago’s history and established naming conventions. In my novel, for example, the islands were inhabited by indigenes called the Makehu before the colonization four hundred years before the events of the story; as it’s usually the case, all settlements and islands had purely descriptive names back then. For example, the main island was called Uni e Li, which translates as “Mighty Hill,” a reference to the vast mountain ranges in the south and north; townships followed the same example (e.g., Tamakaha meaning “Coarse Sands”). When the colonizers arrived, they adopted the Makehu names and adapted them into their own language, changing the accented, long vowels to double vowels: Uni e Li became “Uunili,” Lehō e Āhe became “Lehowai.” Makehu townships kept their names; colonial cities got “English” monikers named after their geographical location, economic significance, or some other original story. Examples of this are Southport, a—you guessed it—port on the southernmost tip of Uunili, or Cale’s Hope, a settlement named after a businessman’s mining venture. It’s all details, and chances are that most readers won���t even pay attention, but I personally found that this added a lot of plausibility and immersion.

I could cover a lot more, but this post is already way too long, so I’ll leave it at that—if there’s enough interest, I’d be happy to make a part two. If not, well, maybe at least a couple of you got something useful out of this. If you’re looking for inspiration/references to show to your illustrator/cartographer, the David Rumsey archive is a treasure trove. Finally, for anyone who doesn’t know and might be interested, my novel is called Dreams of the Dying, and is a blends fantasy, mystery, and psychological horror set in the universe of Enderal, an indie RPG for which I wrote the story. It’s set in a Polynesian-inspired medieval world and has been described as Inception in a fantasy setting by reviewers.

Credit for the map belongs to Dominik Derow, who did the ornamentation, and my friend Fabian Müller, who created the map in QGIS and answered all my questions with divine patience. The linguist’s name is David Müller (no, they’re not related, and, yes, we Germans all have the same last names.)

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Skinny Love (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: hello again. I'm in love with Kakashi this mans makes me heart go wild I swear. Hope you like seeing him on ur dash lol. Shy reader who is too afraid to confess how she feels to Kakashi. This is only part one and is essentially just fluff. The second part will be all angst and sadness so beware.

Ps. It took me so long to get this one done. I was struggling to find the right words.

Word count: 4000

"Come on, sensei. You like him," Sakura laughed, poking her superior in the arm. The group of women stood outside the training grounds after a day of hanging out and working on their jutsu. On occasion Y/N enjoyed taking the girls out and spending time with them. It was a relief to be away from all that testosterone. If only for a short time.

She just shook her head, smothering down the embarrassment she felt creeping up her neck. Her stomach churned whenever she recognized her feelings for the man. It was just so intense. "I would never feel that way about a coworker, you know that, Sakura."

"But he's not just a coworker to you, is he? He's also your close friend," Ino hummed.

"Perhaps, but haven't I taught you that it's bad to let emotions get in the way of work?"

The blond rolled her eyes, turning to fully face one of her sensei, who she would argue was deeply in denial. "Seriously why does it even matter? Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei literally had a baby together. You should definitely tell Kakashi you like him."

Y/N tossed her head back against the wall, sighing. "Girls, I really don't like him. He's just my friend. He's nice to me and I appreciate that, but that doesn't mean I want to date him or anything." Her voice shook and clearly she had been caught.

She was always so bad at lying.

"Whatever you say, Y/N."

"It's just something I'd rather not dwell on, Sakura. I'm sorry for being so private about it, but it's a sensitive subject for me," the woman confessed, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.

"It's okay! You don't have to apologize. We get it! Feelings can definitely be complicated."

"I-I," she started, about to explain herself, but instead she rethought what she was about to say. There was no reason to actually reveal how she felt about the man. These times were tough, and there wasn't any room for making things even more messy with relationship drama. Y/N was more than happy just pretending they were friends and nothing more. As long as she had him just to talk to, she would be fine. As long as he always made it back alive, there was no reason to complain.

"You're right. Feelings are too complicated," she muttered, feeling herself practically deflate as she did so. Y/N was beginning to think she was just the one making everything complicated when it didn't have to be. Skipping around and lying about her feelings. Kakashi wouldn't ditch her if she just said something, she was sure of it.

Just as Sakura was about to reply, the voice of the man in question chimed in from down the path, "Y/N, we were looking for you."

"Yes, the third wheel to our tricycle of youth!"

Y/N felt a smile grow on her lips at the sounds of those voices, especially Gai's exclamation of youth. He was awfully weird, she thought, but that was what kept him so interesting. She turned to face the men walking in her direction. "Kakashi, Gai! What's up? The girls and I were just finishing our training."

"We're going out for drinks and thought you might like to join."

"Sounds great. It's been a long time since the three of us went out. For some reason we never have off at the same time anymore."

"Yeah, it's a shame. Missions have taken over our lives lately," Kakashi said tiredly. It was true. They really never had a second to rest. It was beginning to take its toll. Those were the consequences of war though. "How have you been?"

"Good, I, um..." she began, her eyes trailing up to Kakashi's. He watched back intently, patiently, and she felt something in her chest flutter up. He was always so handsome, she wondered how she could go so long without seeing his face. She just wanted to leap forward and give him a hug, wrap herself up in his warm arms for just a little while. That wasn't an option though, so she settled on some simple words. "I've missed you."

His eyes softened barely enough to be noticeable but she saw. Her heart continued to flutter up in her chest and she sighed, clutching her hands tighter behind her back. No doubt the girls standing just behind her were hyper-analyzing all their interactions, especially after revealing they held an interest in the pair's relationship.

He didn't have the chance to reply though, as Gai was the one to chime in. "Why thank you. I have to say, I've missed you as well, my kunoichi friend."

"Thanks, Gai." Even if the statement wasn't exactly pointed toward him, she was happy she had been missed.

"No problem! Now I hope you young ladies don't mind if we take L/N off your hands."

"No no. It's not a problem, Gai-sensei. I'm sure our moms want us home for dinner anyway. It's getting late after all."

"Yeah, we'll see you later, Y/N-sensei." The pink haired girl waved ss they started to make their way in the opposite direction toward town. Ino paused for a moment though.

"Don't forget what we talked about. You really shouldn't be so shy; it's gonna be okay," she said softly. Y/N sighed, nodding her head as if to say fine. In reality, she wouldn't do anything different. She wasn't feeling very open to changing herself or facing any of her fears. "See you around."

It was kinda sad that Y/N found comfort and support in a bunch of 15 year olds. She was an adult, couldn't she talk to other adults about her problems. These girls were just so accepting and she didn't feel awkward talking about immature things like crushes. Any other adult would just be too wrapped up in their own lives to care too much anyway.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing, Kakashi. We were just talking about random stuff. You know how curious they can be."

"You go out there and fight rogue shinobi every week. How could you be shy?" The green beast asked.

"It's really nothing. They're always assuming things about me. I'm reserved, but I wouldn't say I'm shy, per se…" She stopped to think for a quick second, tapping her foot on the ground. "Actually, I would say I'm just more conscious of the things I say and do than most other people. Not a bad thing at all."

Kakashi nodded. "It's good to keep a level head."

"Exactly. I'm Level headed. Thanks, Kakashi."

"Now let's head off to the bar! Sake for everyone!" Gai cheered, throwing his fist up in the air. She nodded, walking up beside the pair as they started off toward the restaurant of their choice, which she hoped was her favorite one with the tastiest fruit juice drinks. She was willing to put out good money to have one good, tispy night of drinks and snacking. It had already been weeks since she had a night off, one time wouldn't break the bank.

She stood to the right of them, just beside Kakashi. Every now and then she found herself drifting just a bit too close to him, her natural gait leaning toward the left. At one point, she found her hand skim dangerously close to his and she snatched it away to keep herself in check. Holding his hand perhaps was a dream of hers but she wasn't going to actually try anything.

It wasn't that she was afraid of Kakashi. Quite the opposite actually. She cared for him so deeply it sometimes made her stomach churn when she thought about it. He was her friend for ages, ever since she could really remember. He was one of the only people she could sit with and feel completely enveloped in a warm comfort, free of judgement and deceit. Gai as well, but Kakashi was different.

Maybe he could be a bit of pervert, and even sarcastic at times, but he was never rude. He had changed over the years from being a know-it-all, little jerk to someone everyone liked and admired, a kind and brave soul.

Unfortunately, it took bouts of death and loss to come about this change, but she wasn't going to ignore it. He was the best man she knew, and it only seemed natural she fell in love with him. He would probably never feel the same way. He had better things to worry about and other women to long for. He didn't have his entire life to wait around for a shy woman like herself. That was okay.

As long as he was alive and well, she would be happy.

Maybe one day she would gather the courage to grab his hand, to run her thumb over his knuckles and feel the callouses against her skin. Maybe one day she would have the courage to confess how she felt. Not now, but one day when she was comfortable.

"You okay?" He asked, pulling her out of her deepening thoughts. "You're walking really slow and uh, your hand…" The man motioned to where she was clutching her wrist against her chest.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just uh, my wrist is sore from training." She worked her hand in a circle, pretending to stretch it out. He rolled his visible eye, knowingly.

"Sure. Always skipping around the real issues."

"I'm really okay. I was just thinking hard about something."

"Anything to do with what you, Sakura, and Ino were talking about?" he suggested, raising a brow.

She groaned. He always knew what she was thinking. It was definitely one of his best and worst qualities depending on the situation. In this case, she felt awkward as she was so lost in thought about him. She felt like a fool. "Maybe it was. But that was girl time and now it's drinking time. Different topics of discussion."

"Well, mind telling me what's got you so caught up? It's gotta be important."

"It's personal."

"Ah, I see. Well, that's fine. When you want to talk about it, I'm always around."

There was silence for a moment, her thoughts running wild in her head. He was so kind, it wouldn't be bad to tell him how she felt. He would let her down easy, surely. And Gai would be there to cushion her embarrassment, no doubt. He would make things less awkward somehow. She was sure of it.

It was crazy. No way she would say anything. Definitely not.

"I'm interested in someone," Y/N found herself blurting out before she could stop herself. She just felt so much pressure building up in her chest and the only way she could relieve that feeling was to tell him something, anything about the predicament she was in. She wouldn't tell him exactly how she felt and about who, but she could vent.

Damn, all this and she didn't even have her first drink. That man really did something to her.

The men stopped in their path, their heads turning their attention solely to her. She felt her neck and cheeks begin to heat up and her palms start to sweat. Why would she say that? Dammit. She really was a fool.

"Really? Who?" Gai asked. "He'd be a fool to reject you, of course, beautiful flower of the leaf! You do not have to worry!"

"Gai...it's really not that simple. He is, um, out of my league, I guess you could say," she muttered nervously, rubbing her palms together to ease her anxiety. "He's just well, I don't know, the perfect guy ever."

She could feel Kakashi tense at her side, and her eyes scanned over him. He didn't look out of the ordinary but his energy had definitely changed. Strange.

"No one is out of your league, don't you dare say something like that! If he doesn't let you down easy, I will use my fists of justice to defend you! Tell me who this mystery man is."

"This is what Ino meant when she said you were being shy. You aren't going to tell him, are you?" Kakashi asked, and she noticed the bit of annoyance in his tone. She wondered if he was just upset she was talking about such silly things when they were ready to start drinking. She felt embarrassed. They were adults. Adults don't talk about this kind of thing. He doesn't want to hear about the guys she's interested in, or how she feels about them. Maybe Gai would be interested in it, but not a cool guy like Kakashi.

"Of course not. Like I said, he would just reject me anyway, there's no point," she told them. "And Gai, I can't just tell you who it is. You know you're a loud mouth; you'd go around telling everyone." She really didn't believe Gai would do that to her. He was far too conscious of others feelings for the most part. She just couldn't risk Kakashi knowing. She would keep it a secret from him.

"Oh come on! Just tell us! I'll help you out, be your wingman!"

"Maybe I'll tell you another time. When I'm more confident in myself."

"Well, what is it that has finally caught out dear friends heart in a web of love? Tell us!" Oh man. He really was nosy sometimes. He meant well, but occasionally he just didn't know when to stop. Kakashi kept his mouth shut because he understood she was getting uncomfortable, that or he was growing annoyed as she suspected.

Regardless, it was nice to get some of this off her chest, even if it was risky business.

"I don't really know. He's smart and considerate, and very brave. He's handsome as well, that's a plus," she smiled, listing off the things she liked about the man standing right in front of her. It felt so exhilarating, talking about her feeling so openly. It was terrifying and relieving at the same time. Y/N exhaled as she thought about him again, "He just makes me feel happy when I'm in my worst moments, that's all. I mean, what else could I ask for?"

"I see! He sounds like a good guy. Can't wait to meet him," he laughed until his eyes widened and he leaned in a bit closer to her face. He pointed his finger at his chest and questioned, "Unless of course, I already know him. It's not me, is it?

She found herself smiling just a little, her lips curving up at the absurdity of it all. "No definitely not. You don't have to worry about that."

"I'm wounded, but I understand. My youthfulness is just too strong for you."

As she thought of something to say, she began to question just why Kakashi hadn't said anything really at all. It was strange of him, letting the other man do all the talking when normally he asked her questions and at least tried to engage. Maybe he was feeling tired or bored with the conversation. She had to change the subject.

"So uh, let's get a move on before all the good booths are taken, yeah?"

"Actually, I'm getting tired. I think I'll just head home for the night, get ready for my mission in two days," the white haired jounin sighed. They both looked over to him, surprised, but Y/N knew why he needed to go. She had upset him somehow. So much for a fun night between the three of them.

"Kakashi, come on! Don't bail on us now!"

She took a step back and her eyes trailed up to his, which were narrowed, not angrily just as if he had been hurt or confused she couldn't tell which. "Oh, are you sure?" Her heart was sinking in her chest seeing him so conflicted.

"Yeah. Got a headache, too."

"Ah, okay. Well, I'll see you around sometime?"

"Yeah."

"Goodbye, rival. Hopefully you are feeling better tomorrow and we can have a real night of drinking indeed!"

And with that, he left to his apartment, leaving the other two behind. She felt her stomach begin to turn uncomfortably, sick from the thought of Kakashi just leaving them like that. He seemed so angry, she couldn't help but think it was all her fault. It wasn't in his nature to act that way.

They had already spent so much time apart already that it was tugging at her heart strings. She felt like they rarely saw each other anymore. For him to be angry at her and leave, that meant they would just see each other even less than before. It seemed like a nightmare come true. She really did miss him, like she had said. She missed the fun they would have together and the conversations they shared. She just missed him and there he went, gone off again without so much as a real goodbye.

The woman clutched at her stomach, feeling the tossing and turning overtake her sense with nausea.

Suddenly, before she could contain herself, tears began dripping down her cheeks, and she sucked in her breath. Hot tears warmed her cheeks, and frantically she wiped them away from her cheeks. Her arms wound around her waist and she hugged herself tightly inward, almost as if she would turn into a ball if she could.

"Y/N, what's wrong?! What happened?"

"It's Kakashi," she whispered, trying to keep herself from crying anymore but it only got worse.

"Kakashi? Because he left? It's okay, we can go drinking another night or-or you and I can just go alone. No problems," he tried to say but it wasn't going to work. She didn't want to go to dinner with Gai and she didn't want to wait until tomorrow, or whatever the next time they would all be together. She was being stupid and selfish, acting like a spoiled little baby with all this crying. She just couldn't stop herself.

"It's not that. There's something I haven't told anyone. I don't know what to do."

"It's gonna be fine whatever it is. Just calm down."

"No, I can't. It's so bad, Gai. I'm in love with him, it's him, and now he's mad at me and I don't know what I did wrong," she confessed, feeling all the words slipping out so easily. How is it that such strong emotions could just cause her to think so irrationally and just let something like this happen? A bout of confessing every feeling she had to her friend who may or may not go and relay all this information to Kakashi. It was stupid. She was just being stupid and reckless.

He nodded carefully, moving to take ahold of her shoulders to steady her. "It's gonna be okay. He's not mad at you, I promise. I know Kakashi and I'm sure he really was just feeling sick."

"Gai, I just...I don't want him to ever leave me, even over something stupid like this."

"Trust me, you don't have to worry about Kakashi leaving you. He would never do something like that. You are one of his closest friends. There's almost nothing you could do to make him do that, especially if you always have good intent at heart. Trust me, you really don't ever need to worry," Gai explained trying his best to reason with her. "You two do everything together. He never stops talking about you! He would never let you go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am one hundred percent sure!"

"I-I need to go find him. I need to make sure he's not upset with me," she said as she pushed herself away from him. He waved to her as she started in the direction of Kakashi's apartment.

"Goodluck on your mission, Y/N, not that you'll need it."

______

Kakashi was just about to enter his apartment when she dashed up the stairs and turned the corner, going so fast she nearly slid into the wall. His eyes widened when he saw her, and he froze in his spot, not turning the key to the door just yet. Her face was flush and chest heaved. He could tell she rushed on her way.

"Y/N, did you run all the way here?"

She stood, catching her breath after just having run all the way across town to find him. Her heart raced as she looked up at him, and she clutched at the railing of the stairs for support. "I wanted to say sorry for whatever I said to make you angry with me. I didn't know I was being insensitive."

"I told you I was sick," he replied, but she knew better. And he knew she did. He wasn't dumb. They knew each other better than that and there was no pretending.

"I could tell that was a lie. I know you were angry and I felt terrible."

"Were you just crying?"

She exclaimed back, holding a hand over her heart to maybe try and ease the racing heartbeat, "Maybe. What about it?! I was hurt that I'd offended my friend, isn't that tear-worthy?" She took a few more deep breaths through her mouth, letting the air fill her up and calm her down. "Why were you so upset?"

"It's not important."

"No, no. It's important to me!"

The man paused, thinking over his next words carefully. He very well knew the real reason he ran away from their conversation like a coward. He actually thought it was obvious. It wouldn't hurt for her to know. He sighed, "If you really want to know. It's because I was tired of hearing about your love life. It's not exactly an entertaining subject."

She knew it but admittedly she would be lying if she said she didn't feel her heart break a little at those words. He didn't care about her feelings enough to just sit there and listen to her talk for a couple minutes? Was she that annoying? So many thoughts ran through her head, and each one made her sad. "I just didn't want to go a whole night with Gai talking about it," he added. "It's nothing to do with you."

"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's fine," he brushed off her apology. "I'm the one who asked about it in the first place."

"Why- why wouldn't you want to hear me talk about other men? Why would that be a sore subject for you?" She asked, her curiosity spiking up through the roof. It was strange, the whole situation. He had never backed down from a personal chat before, only this time.

He felt like a deer caught in the headlights suddenly. How was he supposed to reply to that without blowing his cover. "I just don't like the whole romance thing."

But they both knew that was a lie. He read romance for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But if he wanted to keep his secrets, she would let him. There was no need to pry. She just hoped he would trust her enough in the future to explain what he meant. Secretly, she wished that it was because he was jealous. That he didn't want to hear about another man because he wanted to be that guy, her lover. It was a wild thought, a hopeless theory meant to be thrown out, but she could fantasize.

"Kakashi, we're still good? As friends and all? You'll go out with me and Gai another time then?"

He nodded, his lips quirking up into just a tiny smile. It was characteristic for her mind to go straight to the worst case scenario. He replied, "Of course. Like I said, it's not that bad. Don't worry about it."

"Okay. I'm glad. I really thought I messed up this time."

"I don't think there's anything you could do to make me hate you," he sighed, leaning his shoulder against his door frame. "The day I let you go is the day I die, Y/N."

She smiled, closing her eyes and finally taking a relaxed breath. It was done. He wasn't angry at all. He still cared for her and everything else she could hope for. As long as they could remain friends, it was all gonna be okay. She laughed, "That's what Gai said. Should have listened to him, huh?"

The both nodded and suddenly they were enveloped in a peaceful silence for a while. She stared down at her feet and he watched her quietly, admiring the way she could be so miserably shy yet so adorable at the same time.

"Do you wanna go catch dinner? Or uh, just drinks like we originally planned, if you want," he asked, running his hand through his hair. Her eyes brightened at the question, and he'd be stupid not to notice the new shine in them.

"Do you want to go find Gai first?"

"Actually, how about it just be you and me this time? We'll catch Gai tomorrow morning for breakfast instead."

"Two meals in two days...I'm not made of money."

"It's on me. Don't worry about it."

"Oh, jeez. So nice of you, Kakashi. Thank you! Where are we going?" she asked happily, walking up to him and rolling back in the balls of her feet.

"Wherever you want to go."

"I feel like I'm getting the special treatment. I'm so excited," she cheered, pulling him in the direction of the stairs by the edge of his sleeve.

He just smiled. It was all he could do. He had the most beautiful woman in the entire world in front of him ready to go on a not-exactly date. They were only friends, and she reaffirmed that today when she mentioned she was interested in someone else.

But for now he could pretend they were a thing. That they were dating and that she loved him and he could openly love her back. He would take her out to dinner and kick at her ankles under the table just to annoy her. And he would take a sip of her drink and pretend it was too sweet for him and watch as she struggled to drink a sip of his liquor.

And after he walks her home that night, he would hug her tight to his chest and he would think about kissing her, to pull down his mask for just a split second and press his lips to hers, but he would refrain. It just wasn't the right time. Maybe there would never be a right time either, and that was okay.

As long as they could have nights like these, as long as he would feel her in his arms, he was more than happy. He was in love.

Part Two is up.

[stedesbonnets]

i’m always thinking about the fifth so i was like why not move some of my threads on twitter here. what started a very rambling thread on twitter is the thought about how when we see magnus with abigail, he’s often standing next to her, instead of a regular’s cavalier half a step behind. not to over think his relationship with cavalierhood because it might be that he just Doesn’t Have One but it is interesting to think about what kind of cavalier acts he might perform when in front of other cavs and necros. because we all know that magnus isn’t at all a formal cavalier: he’s first abigail’s husband, then a cavalier. he’s only a cavalier because he’s married to his necromancer, and he’s only cavalier primary because his wife is also the heir

which brings us to a wonderful contrast in magnus: he’s concerned about being “out of shape” when gideon beats him in 3 moves, and even considers divorcing abigail—not due lack of love, but due to lack of skill—but at the same time he openly admits he’s not a cavalier due to his swordmanship, but only because of his wife’s title. he doesn’t care about sword fighting, judith says he’s an administrator and a civil servant, a seneschal at koniortos court, but he does spar with jeanne and he is concerned about his abilities in the end of the day. at it says a lot that his first reaction is “we should divorce” instead of his second reaction, which is to train against others to become better

which brings me to abigail. for a system that sees necro/cavs marriage as a taboo, we don’t really see the other characters react negatively towards either of them. all the characters come to their anniversary party and don’t bat an eye, which makes it kinda sad that the most grief abigail (and magnus) received on their marriage came from their own house

abigail wasn’t “allowed”, per se, to marry magnus only because she would have given up on her role as the heir in the future, but her intention to pass the role to her brother definitely softened the issue, to the point when eleven years after they got married and five years after abigail actually became the heir—judith still remarks on their marriage, saying that magnus is a cavalier by “unhappy coincidence” and abigail’s “informal abdication of the future role”, not to mention that the fifth house is embarrassed by the timing (what this means is still beyond me) (and also jody you wish you married your cav)

so why the fifth, of all houses, cares so much that abigail married magnus? they didn’t break up and got together for no reason, why would abigail break up with magnus then come back to him three years later? i think it’s safe to say that it wasn’t her decision. abigail is quite determined and she sticks to something when it is important to her. she has several degrees, she studied in literally half the solar system. she isn’t ashamed to say her knowledge of other necromancy school is limited. so it makes sense for her to come back to the person she loves.

so the question that comes from all of this is, in what way wasn’t magnus good enough? i doubt it’s his swordmanship; much like the sixth, the fifth don’t care about this stuff. so, what is it? his social status? his family? his “job”? regardless, it’s clear that magnus’ social status, his “class” is, from some reason, lesser than abigail’s, which again can be “ignored” due to abigail stepping from being the heir

so the fifth still care about who you marry, or at least, they care when it comes to the heir. and i think it’s safe to say that it was abigail’s mothers who made her break up with magnus when they were seventeen, or at the very least convinced her she should marry someone of a higher social status. it’s also worth noting that in this paragraph, abigail says “my family” then specifies "my brother" which means that her mothers (or one of them) might still be alive.

so, in short, i would like to know the circumstances of the break up and what led to it, and it says a lot about how the fifth, and abigail’s own family, was more criticizing of her teenage dream marriage than the rest of the solar system. i hope that abigail is having a great time with her husband :)

[writingletterstothefire]

reputation

A/N: This is a Hux x reader request I got in my DMs! Also, I wrote this on the Tumblr app, so I don’t know if there will be any formatting issues. If there are, I’ll fix them later on! I’m nervous, as I’ve never written Hux before, but I hope I did him justice! Your request is only part of the fic, but I hope you like it all the same. Enjoy!

Request from @bbarton : hi!! can i request hux x reader (secret relationship bc she has a lower status than him) where he gets jealous bc he sees someone flirting with her!! <3

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. He was cold, calculating. Officers and stormtrooper’s alike scampered away from him in the hallways. He knew what his inferior officers thought of him, and he used it to his advantage. If they’re scared, he thought, they’re less likely to rebel. And so, to ensure they stayed scared, he was more than happy to play the role of tyrant whenever the opportunity presented itself. If the new recruit fumbled and spilled coffee, he screamed at them in the middle of the mess hall. If a lieutenant failed to get a report in on time, they were publicly demoted. Officers were interchangeable in this profession, so as one was demoted, another was promoted to replace them. It sent a clear message: The Order does not need you. You are lucky to be here. You are lucky that The Order allows you to be here. It kept them in line.

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. He wasn’t known to be lovable and cuddly. Growing up, his father ensured that he never entertained the thought of a marriage based on love. From a young age, it was clear to Armitage that any marriage he partook in would be solely for the sake of siring an heir. Someone to continue the Hux line, ensure that the family name lived on past the individual. He definitely never saw you coming. You, soft and gentle, loving and warm. You, with a motherly embrace to rival the one he had conjured in his head. You took care of him, before he even knew what you were doing. Bringing him his tarine tea that he enjoyed so much, ensuring he ate at least two meals per day. At first, he genuinely thought that you were his new assistant. He thought that the Supreme Leader had assigned you to him without telling him, and who was he to question the Supreme Leader? But when he handed you a stack of paperwork about two months into your taking care of him and told you to transcribe all of the documents into basic and load them onto his datapad, you had giggled at him. He was almost offended, and he would have reeled back and screamed at you, if he wasn’t so entranced by the musical noise that was bubbling out of your mouth.

“Is...Is something funny, officer?” He had managed to choke out, his strangled voice surprising even himself. You smiled that wonderful smile, which he now realized was reserved for only him.

“No, sir, not funny per se, just...mildly amusing. I regret to inform you that I am not here to do Lieutenant Mitaka’s paper work for him.” You walked over to Mitaka’s desk, dropping the stack of papers there and writing a little note to stick to the top of the pile. Hux remembered purposefully looking anywhere but your rear end, which was poking out as you leaned over the desk.

“I beg your pardon?” Hux cleared his throat, cursing the hoarseness that lingered in his throat. Why was he suddenly becoming so affected by you? Perhaps it was because that was the first time he was seeing you. He’d known what you looked like, sure, but he’d never taken the time to really look at you. The way your eyes lit up when you smiled, the way your uniform hugged your body in just the right way to make his mouth water. The sheen of the lip balm you wore, glistening just enough under the fluorescent lighting of Starkiller Base to bring attention to those tantalizing lips.

“Well, it’s just that, you know I don’t work for you, don’t you?” Your voice had snapped him out of his thoughts, ringing through the air. You were looking at him, an amused smile on your lips.

“I beg your pardon?” He repeated, dumbly. He silently cursed himself again, before continuing, “If you do not work for me, then what is it that you are doing here, officer?”

“Why, making sure you don’t run yourself into the ground, of course,” you tilted your head at him, still smiling so happily, as if you were amused by his confusion. “Someone has to take care of you, General. I couldn’t exactly turn a blind eye when I noticed that you’d been skipping meal times.”

“And who do you work for, then?” Armitage was still confused. How could you have this spare time to constantly check on him? It made no sense.

“I’m part of the Cradle Initiative.” Finally, it’d hit Hux like a freight train. The Cradle Initiative was thought to be a joke among superior officers in the First Order. An old wives’ tale, even. The generation of First Order officers before Hux had often joked that the incoming line of soon-to-be generals and commanders were too soft. They needed to be nursed and taken care of. Cradled. And so, the newest generation of foundlings that the Order collected were put into the Cradle Initiative. These officers were trained to essentially be mother hens. They were taught how to cook, clean, and nurture. There were even some lessons on how to nurture children. Some factions of the Cradle Initiative were specifically to breed and nurture the next generation of the First Order. The rest were sent to First Order bases, where their job was quite literally to take care of everyone. It all made sense now.

“I see. So you...assist me—”

“—Take care of,” you interrupted with the ghost of a smirk on your face.

“—Take care of me,” he gritted out, “because you are part of the Cradle Initiative.”

“My, nothing gets past you, General,” you’d teased, rather boldly, in Hux’s opinion. Most would dive headfirst into the Tattooine suns before teasing a superior that way. “Yes, I was put on this base to take care of you and your fellow officers.”

Hux had nodded stiffly. Of course you would take care of him. It was your job. Nothing more than that. It was silly of him to ever entertain the idea—

“But I must tell you, General, that I check on you most frequently because I want to. I like knowing that you are taken care of. I like knowing that you’re not running yourself into the ground. I like being around you.”

From that moment on, you became Hux’s closest confidant. He would confide in you about Ren’s tantrums, and you would patch him up when the tantrums were taken out on him. Things changed, though, after you spent the night with him. It was entirely innocent, really, you had just fallen asleep while cuddling him after he woke up from a nightmare. He had those often, nightmares about his father’s abuse. At first, he was ashamed that you’d seen him in such a weak state, but the shameful feeling was pushed aside as you slid onto the bed and gently laid your hand on his knee.

“I’m here to take care of you, General,” you reminded him softly.

“Armitage,” he blurted out, “call me Armitage when we’re alone.”

You smiled and repeated his name, the word sounding too lovely as it fell from your lips. He couldn’t help himself. He kissed you. And you had kissed him back. You’d wrapped your arms around him and laid with him the entire night.

That night changed everything. You both knew that if anyone knew of your relationship, it would change how you were viewed. The officers of the Cradle Initiative already had a reputation for essentially being prostitutes. They were often ridiculed, and told that they were there to be bred with and that’s it. You’d be publicly humiliated if anyone knew you were in a relationship with the highest ranking general of the First Order. So you had to hide. And then there was the most important reason.

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. He couldn’t risk his officers thinking he had gone soft. There was too much at stake, and he needed to have their complete respect and loyalty.

But then he saw that damned Lieutenant Trecol Verstan. Verstan was a thorn in Hux’s side from the very beginning, constantly questioning and defying his orders. He was one misstep away from being demoted to janitorial staff. And it appeared that he would be making that misstep today.

Upon entering the somewhat crowded command center, Hux’s eyes immediately zeroed in on you, and he saw red. Verstan was currently leaned up against the wall, his arm caging you in as he chattered into about Maker knows what. He was likely telling a highly fictionalized version of his last mission, during which he hid on the ship while the stormtroopers assigned to help him gathered Resistance sympathizers and took them hostage. You were smiling, but it was a thin smile, as if Verstan was testing your patience. Because, he was. You were struggling to come up with a solid enough reason to walk away, when you felt a familiar presence sidle up next to you.

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold.

“Is there a problem, Officer Verstan?” Hux asked, purposefully using the wrong title to refer to the man.

“Lieutenant,” Verstan insisted, huffing in annoyance.

“Yes, well, I don’t think my fiancée needs to hear anymore about your cowardice on Kijimi, Officer Verstan.” Your head snapped to stare at Armitage, jaw dropping a bit.

You saw Verstan’s jaw drop even further than yours did, immediately growing bright red and backing away quickly.

“I-I had no idea, General Hux, if I had known I never would have—”

“Harassed a fellow officer? I’m sure that wouldn’t have stopped you, Officer Verstan.” Hux’s tone was even, almost dangerously so.

“L-Lieutenant...” Verstan muttered under his breath, clearly embarrassed at being degraded in front of his fellow officers and superiors.

“No, no. You’ve been demoted. Between harassing a fellow officer, and your performance on Kijimi, which was nothing short of disgraceful, you’ve made it clear that you do not deserve the title and responsibilities that come with the lieutenant position. You will now be an officer, acting under the guidance of Lieutenant Mitaka. I suppose, in a way, due to the pecking order on this base, that means you work under me. Well, that is to say that I am your superior’s superior. How nice.” Hux looked the most amused anyone, aside from you, had ever seen him.

He turned to you, about to speak, before realizing that Verstan was still standing there, gaping like a fish. “Are you still here, Officer?”

Verstans ears burned red as he scurried away, hurrying out of the command center.

You were still staring up at Hux, eyes wide and shining. He turned back to you, stepping close and murmuring an, “Are you alright, my love?”

You were so unused to him openly showing any care for you, for reasons you both agreed on. He kept his hands clasped behind his back, but you were now standing toe to toe, close enough to kiss him. You wouldn’t, because you didn’t know where his boundaries were right now, but the thought did cross your mind.

“I’m alright. Thank you for that. I’m sorry I couldn’t get rid of him.” You felt his breath fan across your face as he sighed.

“My darling, I could never be upset with you. You have my complete trust.”

You smiled softly at that. You knew he loved you, of course, but to hear that he trusted you always felt good.

“I know,” you spoke softly, “I know you trust me, and I trust you. With my life, Armitage.”

As he was about to close the gap between you, he realized that the command center was quiet. Too quiet. He lifted his gaze from yours to see that everyone in the command center had frozen during the exchange with Verstan, and they were still watching with intrigue. Some looked absolutely astonished, while others had knowing smirks.

“Unless you are all looking to join Verstan in his demotion, I suggest you get back to work.” His voice was calm enough, but he spoke with such a commanding tone that everyone in the command center scrambled to look busy. Those that could find an excuse scurried out of the room entirely.

Hux led you out of the command center, hands still behind his back, but your hand loosely nestled in the crook of his elbow. Everyone would know within the hour, what did it matter now? There was no point in trying to hide anymore, he thought to himself, as he guided you into his quarters. Your quarters too, he supposed. You basically lived with him at this point.

“So fiancée, huh?” Your teasing voice had his attention snapping back to you in an instant. While he was lost in thought, you have perched yourself on the small loveseat that sat to the left of center in his quarters, next to the electric fireplace. “When were you planning to ask me about this? Where’s my ring, Armitage?”

You were joking, and he knew you were only teasing him to make him blush. You loved being the only one able to fluster him. Still, he turned away from you, walking into the bedroom and digging through the nightstand. He emerged before you could even question him, and walked over so quickly that you didn’t even register it until he was on one knee in front of you, breathing your name in that soft way that was reserved only for you.

“My love,” he began, “I never thought I would find anyone like you. I assumed that I would never marry for love, it would simply be an arrangement of convenience. But when I met you, I knew that the tightness in my chest was love. I knew that the lightheadedness that set in whenever you smiled at me was love. I knew that the feeling of something missing whenever you left the room was love. I love you. And at first, that terrified me. I didn’t want anyone to hold the power over me that you hold. But when you held me through the night after witnessing one of my lowest moments, I knew you would never abuse that power. You’ve proven time and time again that you love me just as much as I love you. There is no one else that I could fathom a life with. There is no one else I could love. There is only you. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

You were crying now. You had been joking around before, but now, with Armitage on one knee in front of you, you knew that you’d never say no to him. “Yes! Yes, Armitage, yes!”

You waited until he slipped the ring onto your finger before launching yourself at him, holding him tighter than he’d ever been held.

“I love you, so much, Armitage,” you cried into his neck. His arms wrapped around you, one hand tangling in your hair.

“I love you, my darling.”

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. Everyone knew who he was, and everyone was terrified of him. After news of your engagement broke, everyone knew not to touch you. Those who’d seen what happened with Verstan were most likely to stay away. About a week later, there was an incident with a newly recruited officer who thought perhaps they could charm you into cheating on Hux, reaching out to try to feel you up, but before Hux could even think to do anything, you had the offending arm pinned behind the officer’s back. Armitage had never been prouder.

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. And you, as his fiancée, took it upon yourself to ensure that reputation stayed intact.

[alfredosauce50]

Method to my madness [Yandere! Switzerland x reader]

Word count: 4,144 Warning: NSFW content later in the fic. There will be a warning line before it starts, and another line to indicate its conclusion. So skip it if you don’t want to read it.

Synopsis: As a stereotypical Swiss, he never did anything unplanned and worshipped punctuality. But when it comes to you, he’d throw that all away and show up to your door unannounced. In another country. And in the middle of the school term. Why? Because he can. Because he doesn’t trust your neighbors, your raunchy one in particular. He was the polar opposite to him—lazy, sloppy, and disorganized. So when he tries to invite you to a party, Basch makes it a point to stop you from going—even if that entails doing exactly what he accused him of. The reader is referred to as she/her.

Crunching numbers occurred to him like second nature. Anything that could be explained in a book, he understood like the back of his hand. In fact, he didn’t have much trouble doing anything at all, but when it came to you, every fiber of his being would clam up. His infallible logic betrayed him like he never had any in the first place. Now was one of those times as he boarded a flight bound for California. 

As he made himself comfortable in his seat, he gave the passengers around him a quick study. Already, they were stripping themselves of their outer layers. Windbreakers, jackets, coats, you name it. A middle-aged man removed his hoodie to reveal a T-shirt underneath, and with big, bold letters spelled ‘USA’, which popped out around his belly as if to emphasize it. A single thought occurred to him as he looked away with furrowed brows. Tourists.

They had their fun, and were on their way home, starting with preparing for the sweltering heat of Californian Summer. He folded his arms together and sank into his chair. He’d remove his knit later. At the moment, he had a more pressing issue in his hands. What was he supposed to say when he’d show up at your door without notice? 

Hi, I felt a dire need to visit you all the way in America in the middle of your semester when I heard you were living in a dorm. But that’s not all. It would’ve been fine until you sent me a selfie with a guy in the background holding a peace sign. Then that other photo showing a different guy using your toaster. Which implies that there are numerous guys living with you. In other words, people I don’t trust alone with you. 

So here I am. 

Surely, that wouldn’t fly. 

You’d known him as a man who had his whole life planned out in a diary. And this was hardly planned. It was spontaneous, even. Basch Zwingli, the stereotypical Swiss who looked at the clock for things to do, was being spontaneous? Hell may as well freeze over at this point. To say this would surprise you was given, but he didn’t see anything wrong with this, per se. He probably would’ve done this to Lilli, but the thing was, he wouldn’t have ever let her study abroad by herself in the first place. 

She was his baby sister, but you weren’t. And that was probably why he was at your doorstep. He couldn’t oppose your choice of study, but he could sure as hell be part of it. 

He knocked a few times. He could barely make out the faint ‘just a second!’, but the sound of the voice was so familiar, he froze up. But that wasn’t quite right. Hearing Lilli’s voice never made him feel this way. The door creaked open to reveal a less than presentable girl in her pajamas, an oversized shirt, and she had the messy bed hair to go with it. 

And when you saw who your visitor was, the droop in your eyes disappeared. 

“Basch!? Oh my god--what are you--” You could barely talk as disbelieving laughs fell from your lips. “I can’t believe it’s you! I almost couldn’t recognize your face because I didn’t expect you at all!” Reaching out to give him a tight embrace, he returned the gesture with a gentler hug. 

His arms were slow to wrap around your form, but to even have your affection reciprocated at all spoke volumes of how he was feeling. It had been nearly half a year since he saw you last, and to realize he was spoiling himself with an unannounced visit sent chills down his spine. He really was pushing the envelope with this one. But he had a gut feeling he wouldn’t regret this at all. 

When you pulled away, he caught you gleaming at him with the brightest of smiles. It was so infectious, he felt a light tugging at his lips. “Well, I’m here if that convinces you.”  

You grinned. “What are you even doing here? My break doesn’t start until a month later! But I can say this is a good time you caught me in. I only have one more final to pull through.” Pulling him into your humble abode, you barely made it into the hallway when you failed to hear the sound of wheels. So you paused. “... Basch, where’s your stuff?” 

Confusion contorted at your expression, but you looked more worried than anything. It would’ve made sense if he was planning to stay at a hotel, but that wasn’t possible. He’d rather sleep on the ground than spend hundreds of dollars for accommodation, and what was the point of visiting if he wasn’t under the same roof as you? He tensed up as he confronted how truly out of character he’d been acting. 

Shit. Even he was shocked that he failed to bring the most fundamental of things for this trip. When he bought his ticket, nothing went through his mind besides the need to see you. It took up so much of his brain, it managed to block out the concept of a suitcase. Packing for a trip that was to last for months. How was he supposed to explain himself? “... They lost my suitcase on the way here.” Perfect. 

Your lips formed an ‘o’ shape as you nodded in understanding. “Ah, that’s too bad. I’m sure they’ll find it for you, though. Otherwise, they’re gonna have one hell of a lawsuit.” 

“... But where’s Lilli?”  

Why was his sister not with him when they were practically sewed together by the hip? And for such an important visit, no less. But he came prepared in case you’d ask. “Lilli’s not here because she had school. And I saw that tickets were the cheapest during this time so I decided to come early.” 

At the sound of that, any traces of worry left your face and you burst into a fit of laughter. 

“Of course you did, you cheapskate. I was always wondering which trait of yours was the strongest, but now I know.” Blood rushed up to his cheeks and he forced himself to look away. But when he felt your hands settle on his shoulders, he slowly turned to you. He didn’t even know if he was supposed to regret that action, because in that very second, he realized he was wrapped around your finger. 

“I’m just kidding, Basch. There’s nothing wrong with saving money. And if that means you get to visit early, I’ll love you for it.” You cracked a tender smile at him this time around, and seeing that look on your face while listening to you talk had him wondering if he was even breathing at that point. 

It was almost terrifying how easily he could lose his head around you. And he thought he had a good one on his shoulders. Everyone did. How come he could barely even think straight when it came to you?   

“... Right.” He tipped his head forward to let his bangs fall in front of his face. It was a gesture that was almost shy in nature, but his action revealed a small ponytail on the back of his head, which of course, stole your attention away in an instant. 

You gasped to emphasize the discovery. “Aw, did you tie your hair up? It looks so good! Everyone’s gonna be asking about you now!” Giving him a teasing elbow, you watched his expression morph into dismay. “Hey, I promise it’s a good kind of curiosity. College has us all swarmed and we’re dying for something out of the ordinary. My friends will be excited to meet you!” 

“Why, because I’m… European?” 

“Are you asking that because I complimented your hair?” He heard a soft snort from you. “I’m from the same town as you, dummy. I think I’d count as European as well. But that’s probably what they’ll be so interested about.” That was right. “If they find out about you, they won’t stop asking about if we’re… You know what.” Your voice strained a little and you looked embarrassed, even.

He blinked. For someone so high-strung about you, he could sometimes miss the key points. 

“I’m having a hard time following. About what?” 

You sighed and pushed his cheeks together to muffle his words. “Why do you always have to make me say everything, hm? They’ll obviously ask if we’re dating. You’ve never met them because they always go elsewhere during the break, but everyone will be here this time.” 

By everyone, he assumed that included peace-sign guy and toaster-leeching guy. Immediately, he frowned with the most potent kind of disdain he ever felt. To think they spent most of the year with you was almost disheartening. But he didn’t need to remind himself they were the reason he was here. Basch could admit he was an oblivious person at times, but he wasn’t ignorant to the promiscuous sex life in college. The men here were wolves, so he had to see for himself if he could really leave you alone here. 

But he had a feeling he wouldn’t be leaving your side anytime soon. 

If that was going to give your friends the wrong idea, or perhaps, the right idea about you two, then so be it. He even wanted them to assume things. Even if he didn’t think much of it, flying all the way here for an impromptu visit was more than enough to get mouths moving. 

He had yet to be on the same page as them. To realize that maybe, what he was doing wasn’t because you were like a little sister to him--like Lilli--someone to be protected. Or rather, someone he had strong feelings for. But given enough time around these so-called friends of yours, he’d learn it the hard way. And who better to press his buttons than your raunchy next-door neighbor? 

The day after his unexpected arrival, he’d encounter this very neighbor who found the leisure in swinging by for a visit. Basch had his hands full with dishes in the sink when a few knocks were heard. He was generous enough to make lunch and clean up, though you had to wonder if doing chores was how he’d repay the debt from all the things you had to buy for him. 

He never moved from where he stood as he could already hear you scrambling to answer the door. When it creaked open, a low and playful laugh greeted you. “There’s my girl.” My what now? Turning his head to the newcomer, he felt a pang of annoyance when he saw a man lean in from the doorframe. Said man reached out to give your hair an affectionate ruffle, and immediately, Basch decided he didn’t like him. 

“Mornin’. Did ya eat yet? I was gonna go to a cafe for some grub. The one that has those killer vegan pancakes. Wanna come with?” 

You hummed in disappointment. “Sorry, Al. I just ate. Maybe if you came in a little earlier, I would’ve been able to come.” Placing your hands on your hips, you placed emphasis on what you later added. “It’s two.” 

No, he hated him. From that brief exchange and study of his physical appearance, he knew he was practically the polar opposite of him. A lazy,  good-for-nothing slob. He had two full sleeves of tattoos. Piercings decorated one of his eyebrows, and as he spoke, he saw a small silver ball on his tongue. His fiery red hair wasn’t even long, but it was still unkempt as if he just rolled out of bed and didn’t bother checking the mirror. But then again, he did greet you with ‘morning’. Basch tightened his ponytail and made his way over to you, disgruntled. “...”

Sensing his presence by your side, you patted him on the back. “This is Basch, by the way. The friend I told you about.” When you exchanged looks with Basch, your smile faltered when you saw his expression. He looked almost upset, though you hadn’t the faintest idea why. 

You figured you’d ask later. 

The stranger was fast to acknowledge him, and with great enthusiasm at that. “Ohh, you’re the dude who flew over from Finland or something!” His striking ruby eyes widened with fascination, and he was grinning from ear to ear. “Wow, you’re pretty high-strung bout’ her, aren’t you? Makes the two of us.”  

High-strung about you? Of course, he was--whatever the hell that meant. “... Switzerland.” The blonde clarified, to where Allen merely shrugged. “Close enough.” 

While you laughed off his playful jibes and apparent forgetfulness, Basch couldn’t humor him. Between him and your neighbor, they were probably completely serious about the high-strung bit. He could tell in that brief side-eye Allen gave him, almost as if he was trying to stir some kind of reaction. 

So be it. Two could play at this game. Unbeknownst to your raunchy friend, Basch could be just as outspoken. 

“Anyways--” Rolling his head to you, Allen shot you an expectant look. “So… What’s your answer, doll? To the party this Friday? Is it a yes or a yes?” 

“She’s not going.”

Your lips separated agape to answer, but he beat you to it. His invitation was shot down just like that. Shock widened your eyes and you gawked at Basch. You knew how protective he could get, exceedingly so, but it never got to the point of canceling plans without discussion. 

“What do you mean, I’m not going? Basch, it’s fine!” You exasperated, but his only response was to squeeze your hand. 

Something was wrong, for sure. 

“... Yeah, it’s not like anything‘s gonna happen. Not when I’m around. So what’s the big idea, man?” Allen folded his arms disapprovingly. A shrewd light glinted in his eyes when he was struck with an idea. “If you’re so worried, you can just come with. Even though you’re not her boyfriend—”

Basch felt himself go red in the face. From both anger and mortification—because Allen was right. 

“... Fine. I will go with her.” He relented, albeit reluctantly. Hardening his stare at the tanned figure, someone who sounded more persistent than he liked, he let his tongue slip. “And it doesn’t matter I’m not her boyfriend. I’m still her best friend, and I care about her more than you do.”

It was a given from how long you’ve been this close to him. But that didn’t change the fact blurting that out was unlike him. It left you in a blushing tizzy to hear him explicitly say those things, and you grew hyper-aware of his iron grip on your hand. 

Being protective was one thing. But when was he possessive? 

Allen laughed. “Yeah, yeah. You can flex that label all you want.” Making a move to leave by turning his feet, his lips curled up into a mischievous smirk. “I don’t want it. Not when a better label’s up for grabs. Boyfriend. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

Shooting you a wink to reduce you into a stuttering mess, he took his leave. 

And when he did, Basch lost his shit. 

“How long have you been friends with that guy? Can’t you see he’s just trying to get into your pants? He’ll probably stop being so nice to you once he does!” He fumed, taking both your hands into his as if to secure you in place. But really, you weren’t going anywhere. Not when you were about to receive the biggest lecture of your life. “You can’t hang around people like that, (F/N). You can’t trust him.”

You hung your head as a frown downturned your features. There was some truth to his words, especially when the man he spoke so ill of was a fairly new friend of yours. It was a shame to say the least because you did like having him around, but that wasn’t the biggest concern of yours at the moment. “You’re right… Kinda… I just really liked him as a friend, so I didn’t wanna say no…”

That didn’t come out right.

He thinned his lips as a grim expression contorted at his face. “... Did he do anything to you?”

You shook your head profusely. “No! God, no, of course not! Sorry, I put it weirdly. Nothing happened, really.”

Basch sighed, reaching out to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

His bangs fell over his eyes to hide them. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this worked up over you, over a guy at that, but then again, he was beginning to suspect there was a little more to it than that. “... Okay. So are you gonna go to the party?”

“I don’t know. But I’ll probably go if you come with me, so…” With your free hand, you held onto the hem of his shirt. When he caught sight of the look you had on your face, he stopped breathing all over again. “I can tell something’s wrong with you. You looked really upset just then, and it’s not like you to just snap like that.”

He released you to dig through his hair, loosening the once tight strands pulled back in his ponytail. 

That was right. Since when was he so possessive? 

So jealous? 

He bit his lip and looked positively defeated. As he fixated on the ground to avoid your gaze, he felt your hand gently cup his cheek, forcing him to look up at you. “It’s not like you to suddenly show up out of the blue, either. So tell me, why did you actually come here?”

Basch furrowed his brows and screwed his eyes shut. “... I don’t know. I just wanted to see you. That’s all.” You softened your gaze at that, feeling your chest swell up with warmth. He was always brutally honest, but he was more ambiguous when it came to how he felt. 

So to hear him admit his troubles so easily had you almost worried about him.

As if he sensed this worry, he offered you a small smile of reassurance. 

“Don’t worry about me. I swear there’s nothing wrong.”

Or that was what he wished, at least, because he was far from okay. 

To make things worse, Allen wasn’t patient enough for today because he dropped by two more times after meeting Basch for the first time. Nearly a week had passed since then. This only proved his suspicions—that all he wanted was to get in your pants—and it left Basch positively restless. So restless that he couldn’t leave you alone.

It was finally Friday, and you were in your room browsing for outfits for the night. The man was sleeping like a log in your bed, and after a few unsuccessful attempts at waking him up, you decided to change with him in the room. How he ended up in your sheets wasn’t anything out of character, per se. 

In the previous few days, he followed you around everywhere you went. That, you were perfectly fine with, but sleeping in your bed? He was pushing it. Despite your valiant efforts to get him back into the guest room, it was unparalleled to his own determination. What could you say? He was as stubborn as a mule. That statement would manifest into reality as he stirred awake. 

Sitting up with the worst bed hair you’d ever seen, you found yourself covering your chest instinctively as he stared dead into your eyes with his own drooping ones. “Basch! Sorry, um, I couldn’t wake you so I decided to just…” Blood rushed up to your cheeks as he continued to stare, wordlessly. “Basch?” 

You watched him slide off the mattress and saunter over. Holding your wrists and lowering them, he exposed your bra, but he never gave you the chance to complain. Instead, he loomed his head over yours and glowered at you. “You’re not going.” 

Goosebumps pricked all over your skin when his hot breath fanned over your lips, and you were much too taken aback by his closeness to object. In fact, his face was so close, his nose was brushing against yours. “Wait, what are you--” Your whispers were cut off abruptly when he sealed your mouth with his. 

He was kissing you. Albeit innocently as he parted frequently, pecking your lips over and over again. As gentle as he was, he still left you breathless, but flustered and confused all the same. But you didn’t have the heart to push him off you as your mind raced with questions. Why was he doing this? Had he always felt this way? There was a tenderness in his touch that told you he had. 

But why didn’t he ever tell you? 

When he finally parted, he kept his forehead pressed against yours. “Just tell him you’re not interested.” He frowned. “Say you already have a boyfriend. I’ll pretend if I have to.”  

Because he’d been denying it. 

“But--” Basch kissed you again, leaving a silvery strand of saliva connecting your lips as he parted. Your chest was rising and falling in a fervent manner as you struggled to breathe--the same plight he’d been facing for a while. Frankly speaking, you were at a loss from how much control you let him have over you. But you never tried to push him away. At this point, the throbbing in your chest had completely shattered your resolve. “--why are you kissing me if we’re pretending? There’s nobody here but us.” 

His cheeks reddened before he tugged you along to your bed. Seating you on his lap, he attached his hands to your waist and squeezed it, making you yelp out in surprise. “If you’re letting me kiss you, then how are we pretending?” You blushed at that, realizing you had just as much of a part to blame. 

Leaning in at that, he fanned his breath over your lips. “It just means it’s real.” 

He still wasn’t processing the weight of his actions and just how out of line he was acting. But then again, he never did either of those things when it came to you. And it wasn’t like you were stopping him, either. So really, you were just as guilty for letting things go out of hand. Though you had to wonder if this was how things were supposed to be, especially when you continued kissing him in his lap.

*NSFW content ahead*

Said kissing escalated along with the heat of your bodies, all until he had his tongue in your mouth. 

He never realized how much he’d wanted this until he had you under him, squeezing his neck as he left lovebites all over yours. Then, he made his way down to your shoulder and collarbones, chewing on your flesh until he memorized the taste of you. But he couldn’t say he was satisfied. Not until he truly crossed your boundaries and went all the way. 

That was where this was going, after all.

Rather than going to that party Allen invited you to, you spent the whole night having sex with Basch. To say it was a psychedelic experience was an understatement.

As he held you down to make love to you, letting his arousal curve deep into your walls at every strong thrust he gave, he had you writhing in pleasure so good, the last remnants of your sound mind were completely destroyed. So while you would’ve been fussing about the fact he didn’t use any protection, you couldn’t, not when he fucked you silly.

To him, this was a culmination of everything he wanted. To have you for himself. And this rampant desire was so potent, it inundated him. Tugging apart the strands that held his self-control and reason together, he lost his head. 

You never imagined he’d be so energetic and reckless in bed, even cumming inside you, twice, on purpose, when he was always so high-strung about safety. But as you found yourself on his thighs again, trembling as you sunk down to the base of his cock, you could watch him unravel with all sorts of animated expressions you’d never seen before. 

Desperation, lust, and an aggressive infatuation as he bounced you on his imposing member. Bringing you close so he could bite your ear, you could hear the shivering in his breathing as he held back his moans. “You drive me so fucking crazy sometimes...” He whispered. 

*NSFW content ends*

That was the first time you ever heard him curse, too. So maybe, you really were driving him crazy. This would become more apparent the next morning as he slept in past noon, something he hadn’t done in years. 

And depending on if you’d remember or not, he’d buy you some morning-after pills. 

Because something happening wasn’t a big concern of his. 

In fact, it excited him.

[nightswithkookmin]

Hey Goldy, why do you think jk could've been homophobic in the early years? I genuinely want to know becuz i didn't really feel that way myself . And when according to you did he become woke? And what do u think about jimin in this case?

I think JK could have been homophobic????

Have you been snooping around my Ko-fi page??? I don't recall ever saying anything like that on here...

Are you on Ko-fi? You can ask directly on Ko-fi if you have any questions with regards to any of the posts on there. Simply DM.

I said that, because I had read somewhere Jungkook was straight and was dating a trainee before 2015 when he and JM started fully dating but then those same peopele claimed somehow that JK was too young to be gay at the time or to be doing Jimin prior to 2015- in that context then to me, if he wasn't closeted and gay then he'd come off as very homophobic especially in the way he acted around JM and treated JM in that period in my opinion.

If he wasn't too young to be straight, he wasn't too young to be gay. I knew I liked girls at the age of seven ish. Never acted on it and shied away from gals mostly until highschool when I came across much older queer gals- Some have claimed they knew they liked girls much earlier than that.

I mean I'd assume straight people knew they were straight even in kindergarten. Why does it gotta be any different for gay people. It's really bizarre to me.

That's not to say I don't think Jikook weren't problematic or didn't have issues.

For JK I can say, toxic masculinity, internalized homophobia and immaturity marked his earlier phase- not just him but Jimin and everyone in bangtan too (minus the internalized homophobia of course) in my opinion. Which I think we've talked about on here a few times now.

I understand certain conversations make some people uncomfortable especially ones surrounding BTS and homophobia, misogyny cultural appropriation, gay culture appropriation etc.

As I said on Ko-fi, if Jungkook wasn't queer/gay back then, then I'm afraid, to me, a lot of the things he'd said and done around around JM was quite homophobic.

But since I believe he was gay, they just come off as internalized homophobia to me.

And by that I mean things he'd say similar to RM talking bout how 'Jimin tries a lot to be masculine even though he's not' and gets elbowed by Jin to shut up because it's something you just don't say to effeminate men like JM or especially gay men. It comes across as a homophobic slur or microaggression (if JM is in deed gay- which I think he is.)

Or all the crying jokes bangtan makes about JK most times and the constant attack on Jikook's masculinity in the group- being gay doesn't make you less of a man💀

You'll understand if you've seen JK's face drop at certain 'jokes' certain people in the group throw his way.

When did Jungkook become woke????

That's like asking me when did BTS become woke.

Sounds very sarcastic but whatever.

Don't think I can point to you a particular date in this instance just that there's been a very visible gradual shift in the way he thinks, behaves or carry himself within the group over the years.

When he stopped saying things like men shouldn't wear rings on their pinky or that men shouldn't check their selfies after taking them- to which JM replies in frustration 'men, men, men, what the heck is men!'

When he started unlearning the toxic masculine stuff and started embracing his true nature?

It's been a journey for him I'd say.

Whenever he second guesses himself and hesitates to touch JM in certain places-even to this day( a certain titanic run episode comes to mind)

He reaches for JM's waist, stops and holds his shoulder instead. There's a cut a his hand is now on JM's waist- clearly he was cued by the director or someone to hold JM's waist to make it more entertaining.

Now I wouldn't say this act is homophobic per se. Plus, he's not the only one who some times get confused around JM and hesitate to touch him- Tae does that too.

There's that TXT member who froze entirely when JM touched him.

But I can't ignore that JK's hesitation comes from him thinking it's inappropriate for him being a guy to hold JM in certain places like that- which is interesting because they be playing with each other's dixk and shit. You'd think that's more gay no?

Men are nasty and do nasty things like hitting eachother's private region for play or squeezing eachother's nipples and shit- Apparently, that's not gay. To them.

But suddenly, holding hands or placing their hands on a man's waist is gay because it's intimate and something a couple would do- very heteronormative I'd say.

Sounds familiar?

'Sounds like something a couple would do' then the members would proceed to act embarrassed by it.

And this was what, like a few months ago?

Toxic masculinity is at the heart of homophobia. One usually follows the other. If you can spot toxic masculinity in JK, you should be able to spot his internalized homophobic tendencies.

That being said. He's grown now. Way mature than before. Occasionally does some ignorant shit but he's way better than before- in my opinion💀

They shouldn't kiss and act grossed out. If it grosses you out don't do it in the first place that's just rude. I think you know what I mean.

Like RM says, they were all a bit in the mud, unsophisticated in their formative years and I don't think that excluded JM and JK( not gonna go into JK's problematic moments on here or recount them)

As to whether or not some of the things he said in those days were homophobic or not I think it depends on perspective and one's own understanding of anti homosexual tendencies and behaviors.

If not then ignorance is bliss I guess.

What do I think about Jimin???

I think he's gay. Lol.

But he's had his own toxic manly man moments.

'We are men and men shouldn't pop their booty'

Men shouldn't pop their booty? He tried it. Lol.

From the top, make it drop honey😏

Calling Hobi gay as a joke???

'I think he likes men a little too much'

Sir, sit down. A few years later, you are gay too. Very gay. More so gay than Hobi💀

This you???💀

Not sure how to steer this conversation because I feel you don't know exactly what that blog on JK and homophobia is about.

Anywho, thanks for the question. Love it.

I'm gonna answer all your questions. I love them🤤💜

Signed,

GOLDY

[gomitatsu]

life as a neurodivergent adult, yay

My mental health has been bad for god knows how long. I've been to therapy and it helps, but it's not until recently that I found out that I have been treating only a small part of my issues.

I recently have been going through the process of getting an ADHD diagnosis, but it has been pretty solidly confirmed that I do have ADHD. It is in my family(my dad defiantly has it too), but I wasn't diagnosed as a younger kid for it and only have been being treated for depression and anxiety. Why? Well, let's discuss.

There's this thing where those who are assigned female at birth are diagnosed with things like ADHD or autism at a far less rate compared to those assigned male at birth, which means many people go through youth and most of their adult life(if not all) dealing with disabilities without knowing it. Or even knowing it but not being able to get the proper support or help as assistance and tools for adult assessments are very hard to find and even harder to afford as many of these people don't accept insurance. And with not having that help early on in life, you begin to mask to try to fit in and get through daily life. And so I only recently realized in the last two years that maybe there was more to why it was so hard to keep a job or do any schooling or keep healthy social relationships than just depression and anxiety. And it's only in the last couple of months that I finally found a person who could get me a proper diagnosis.

So now what did I notice that made me realize that I had ADHD, well I'll tell you. If you relate to any of these please talk to a therapist or mental health professional. Be careful with self-diagnosing;

Never able to focus on one thing at a time, UNLESS its something I really REALLY like (hyper fixation)

really bad sleep schedule, which means I don't ever sleep unless I'm absolutely exhausted and I can't ever seem to fix said sleep schedule (I'm writing this at 2:18 AM which is still pretty early for me)

Caffeine makes me more sleepy and doesn't get me 'hyper', like to have a latte before bed

Need to have headphones with me ALWAYs, ger freaked out when I don't have control over my hearing (Sensory issues, I get overwhelmed by sounds a lot)

Forgetful, I will forget anything from an item to a word to the time of a hangout (which really screwed me over history tests)

My brain never turns off, I constantly have thoughts going through my head. I compare it to having a flood gate with no door for a brain, so my thoughts just keep flooding my mind even if the thoughts are that I have no thoughts

I do a lot of physical stims, like tapping my fingers together or shaking my hands (I once did the chicken dance and didn't really notice till someone pointed it out, was so embarrassed afterward)

keeping social relationships is hard, feels like I need to go by a script when I interact with people I'm not comfortable with (I call it wearing a person suit when I'm talking with customers or coworkers)

Can never relax, not being hyper per se just not being able to sit still

lack of motivation to do anything, like cooking food or cleaning my apartment. It also makes doing things I enjoy like drawing or reading hard to do too

Now, some of those can also point to being Autistic, which is something my therapist thinks I could be too. But I'm only sure of the ADHD part so I'm mainly referring to this in terms of an ADHD mind. But they do overlap in some places and it won't hurt to talk to a professional if you feel you could be on the spectrum as well.

I recently quit my job, and have been struggling to find something new that would work with how my brain works. But it's been really hard and I had a breakdown today in terms of money worries. Only getting the help and tools now is hard and exhausting, and I hope that people are diagnosing those assigned females at birth more often, as I have heard from enough people who like me were diagnosed later in life or never at all about how tough it makes your life. It makes it feel like there is no stable ground to stand on. Life is just constant tight rope performance, with no end in sight. Or even a place to rest.

I'm hoping that through talking with the resources I have in my life, and being more honest with them about what my needs are and what I'm going through, I'll be able to get the tools I need to keep going much more comfortably.

I wish all of those going through similar things good luck, you got this. And if you need someone to talk to about it, here's one person on the internet who understands.

[ggukcangetit]

Chocolates & Laundry Do Not Mix - JJK fic

title: Chocolates & Laundry Do Not Mix [Prequel to Crime & Punishment]

pairing: jungkook x reader

rating: PG 13

warnings: language, y/n uses a pillow to deal with her frustration, not much else?

word count: 3.5k

summary: when your best friend, Namjoon, asks if a junior from his business ventures class can live with you till his lease comes through, you don’t think much about it. But one month with Jeon Jungkook proves to be extremely difficult because of how little the boy says but how much he seems to topple over without much effort.

a/n: this is the first fic for jungkook’s birthday! happy birthday to the bestest, most lovely, wonderful, soft-hearted boy out there. we love you, koo! wishing you happiness always <3

Before Jungkook

Namjoon is a great guy. He’s smart, funny, considerate, thoughtful, kind, and definitely one of the best looking guys out there. You love him, you really do. But there are times when you wish you could roundhouse kick his dimpled ass out of the window. And this would be one of those moments. 

“It’ll only be for a couple of months, y/n.” Namjoon sat down on the grass, his long legs stretching out in front of him. Seokjin reached over you and handed him the last neatly packed chicken wrap he had brought. “The lease at his old place ran out last week, and the place he’s going to move to doesn’t allow tenants before August. You’re the only one of us who currently doesn’t have a roommate.”

You frowned, the wonderfully seasoned chicken inside Seokjin’s wrap not really registering in your system. “Seokjin can’t?”

“You do know that I just graduated and will be moving to a different city in a couple of days, right?” He shot you a look and promptly flopped onto the grass dramatically.

“What about Yoongi?” 

“He’s moved in with his girlfriend.” Namjoon quirked an eyebrow. “Do you not read any of the messages in the group chat?”

“Jimin? Hobi?” You were desperate at this point.

“Hobi lives with me. And Jimin lives with Taehyung right now. But the two of them are planning to move into a new apartment before classes start in the fall and Jungkook will be staying with them after that! So what do you say?” Namjoon stared at you expectantly. “Can Jungkook crash at your place for the summer?”

If it were up to you, some random junior from Namjoon’s business class would not be crashing at your modest apartment while you slaved your ass off working part-time so that your job prospects would be minutely better at the time of graduation. But then - you stared at Namjoon’s inquiring gaze and Seokjin’s knowing eyebrow raise - it was never really up to you, was it? No. Somehow, all decisions in your friend group had become a matter of collective responsibility. Yoongi wants to buy a new sound system? Well, it must be compatible with the latest AR gaming technology so that Seokjin can come over and use it whenever he wants. Hobi’s ordering a designer jacket for his birthday? It can’t be orange because Jimin wouldn’t be caught dead wearing orange. 

And the list goes on…

What it ultimately came down to was that Jungkook would be staying at your place over the summer. If you said no, your friends would definitely understand… But you would feel like a piece of shit for the rest of the year. So-

“Thanks for letting me stay here, y/n.” Jungkook wasn’t what you had expected. Although you had received very contrasting, even conflicting, descriptions of him from your friends.

“He’s a shy guy,” Namjoon said while walking his bike out of the university courtyard. “Doesn’t speak to a lot of people easily.”

Seokjin, naturally, had said something completely different. “He’s the toughest guy I know. Dude could easily bench press us all at the same time.”

That had left you a little worried so, of course, you decided to speak to Hobi. “Jungkook? Haha! That guy’s really something else! He barely sleeps at night because he’s playing video games! And he’s a snack monster!”

Your mind immediately went to the basket of snacks you kept at your apartment. There was no way this guy would touch your stuff, right?

“Jungkook’s a total prankster!” Jimin giggled while sipping his iced tea. “You should see the stuff he and Tae get up to sometimes!”

“It’s no big deal.” Your reply lacked the minimal amount of enthusiasm required to not be considered a big deal, though. If Jungkook picked up on that, he didn’t say anything.

Week 1 with Jungkook

The first couple of days went by without any issues. He seemed like a quiet guy who kept to himself - so far Namjoon’s description had been the most accurate - and you supposed two months with him around wouldn’t be terrible.

That’s where you were sorely mistaken. Suddenly, you found the fridge full of banana milk cartons - not a few bottles, mind you, but a few cartons of banana milk. Every single cupboard in the kitchen was now stuffed with protein supplements, low carb snacks, and the entire country’s supply of instant ramen. Now, you didn’t have anything against instant ramen per se - heck, you really enjoyed the beauty of a quick delicious meal at the end of a long day - but this was pushing things a little. Because for every single instant ramen packet placed in the kitchen, something of yours had to be displaced rather dramatically.

For instance, you had woken up early one Tuesday morning, craving chocolate chip pancakes like nobody’s business. The chocolate chips were kept on the middle shelf of the third cupboard from the left - as they had been since you had moved in a year ago. You knew exactly where your things were placed and, having the unassailable confidence of an only child who has never had to share their space and now lives on their own as well, you opened the cupboard door without looking up. This was clearly not as smart a decision as you had imagined because a ton of instant ramen packets came cascading down on your head. 

Jungkook came rushing out of his bedroom, alarmed by the sound of loud and colourful cursing coming from the kitchen. “Is everything okay?!”

The look on your face was probably one Seokjin would have laughed at until he had tears in his eyes. But Jungkook, completely unacquainted with your temper and the peculiar things that set you off, looked like he had just found out that he was allergic to both banana and dairy. Actually, he looked more like Hobi the day he had come home to find Jimin and Taehyung working on the latter’s art project which had resulted in the most tragic paint spill on the most beautiful white carpet in the history of college roommate sagas. 

“Oh shit! The ramen- I’m so sorry, y/n!” Jungkook ran towards you to try and help. Unfortunately, he was both hesitant to physically check if you were okay and eager in his desire to make things alright, resulting in a collision which sent you hurtling towards the ground in what would have been an extremely nasty fall. To Jungkook’s credit, he had some insanely rapid reflexes and managed to catch you before you hit the tiled floor and cracked your skull open. 

There was a brief moment between when he wrapped his arm around your waist and when your brows furrowed in annoyance, where you caught a whiff of his apple-scented shampoo and noticed the tiny mole on the bridge of his nose. 

Cute.

You wriggled out of his hold and fixed him with a look that, hopefully, conveyed that you were supremely displeased with his ramen placement without actually having to tell him off. 

“S-sorry about that.” The look had done its job. Jungkook quickly gathered up the fallen ramen packets and stuffed them into the nearest drawer - which then could not be closed.

“How much ramen do you have…?” Your annoyance was replaced with sheer curiosity at this point.

“Oh, uh… I won a gaming contest and the first prize was a year’s worth of instant ramen.” He scratched the back of his neck self-consciously, cheeks turning pink in embarrassment.

You sighed. “Come on, let me show you the extra storage space behind the shoe cupboard.”

Week 2 with Jungkook

Jungkook wasn’t a loud and inconsiderate roommate. In fact, after the ramen debacle of the first week, he had been coexisting with you quite beautifully. Sometimes you would cook dinner, curse at the fact that you had to cook dinner, and then secretly cherish the absolute delight on Jungkook’s face as he ate the dinner you had cooked. Other times, he would tap into his self-proclaimed noodle know-how and whip up some sort of deluxe instant ramen dish, which always turned out to be heavenly and it was all you could do to stop yourself from moaning in pleasure while you both slurped the noodles.

Then, of course, were the times when you ordered takeout, and somehow attracted all the ravenous souls present on the group chat. It didn’t matter whether it was sushi or tacos or fried chicken or pizza or chinese or even a batch of mini donuts from the tiny shop opposite your apartment - all six of them invariably came knocking a few minutes before the food was delivered.

“Gguk, how’s the summer internship going?” Yoongi was holding his third slice of pizza, sitting on the floor with his legs spread haphazardly. This was one of the rare times when he had dropped by for a random friday hangout - his friday nights were usually reserved for his girlfriend. 

Jungkook looked up from the game he had been playing with Taehyung and Seokjin. “Oh, it’s fine. The usual internship bullshit.” He let out a small winner as his car flew past the others just before the finish line.

“This damn game is rigged,” muttered Seokjin. “How come nobody but Jungkook ever wins?”

“That’s because you suck, Jin!” Jungkook ducked out of the way as Seokjin reached out to punch him. “Face it, racing games aren’t your thing.”

At the other end of the room, Hobi was dozing off at the dining table while Jimin and Namjoon played their 9th game of Go Fish. Yoongi bit into the pizza and motioned Taehyung to get him a beer from the fridge. 

“We should go clubbing.” Taehyung’s impulsive and, frankly, terrible ideas were usually a result of a three-game losing streak. If there was anyone who hated losing more than Seokjin, it was the raven haired guy with soft curls falling on his forehead, staring at all of you with his piercing gaze.

“I’m exhausted. I had classes from 9-7 today,” said Namjoon, waving his hand dismissively.

“I work on Saturdays, Tae. You know that.” Seokjin got up and stretched his arms above his head. “I’m going to head out now.”

“The rest of us can go then.” Taehyung was nothing if not persistent. 

“Hobi’s passed out already. And Soya’s waiting for me at home. So I’m going to drop him and Joon at their place, and then head back myself.”

These negative responses did nothing to deter Taehyung’s determination to go clubbing, which meant that you found yourself smooshed into the back of an uber with Taehyung and Jungkook as Jimin sat shotgun. Not only did you absolutely hate clubbing, but the fact that both Jungkook and Taehyung were very well-built, muscular guys, meant that you basically had one butt cheek of space to sit on.

“You okay?” asked Jungkook, before the four of you walked into the club.

“My left butt cheek is asleep, but otherwise all good.” He giggled at your response, gently laying a hand on your back so that you wouldn’t be separated from the group.

An hour later, you were completely certain of three things.

First off, there was nothing in the world that could make you enjoy clubbing. Not the location, not the music, and not the people you were with. Secondly, the three boys you were with not only had devastating good looks, but also managed to shake up the club with their crowd-pulling dances. Jimin’s style relied heavily on his seductive hip movements while Taehyung was destroying everyone with his smoldering expressions. Jungkook, meanwhile, was running completely on an adrenaline rush, and matched Jimin and Taehyung move for move, adding a sexy amount of aggression to the dances as well.

And finally, Jungkook, despite his muscles and dancing and adrenaline, liked to cuddle when he was extremely exhausted and had someone in his vicinity. That someone happened to be you that night as you came back to the sofa to find him curled up into a ball, his mouth slightly open as he slept peacefully. Your mistake was trying to place a blanket on top of him because you soon found yourself being pulled into his embrace as you became Jungkook’s personal cuddle pillow. You could say that you struggled for a long time, trying to break out of his grasp but he was just too strong for you, so you eventually gave up and fell asleep while cuddling with him on the sofa.

But then you would be lying. 

Week 3 with Jungkook 

Not that you would ever admit it, but Jungkook had a very pert bottom. As bottoms go, his was definitely somewhere in the top tier. The general consensus on campus was that Jimin and Taehyung were the usual contestants in the battle of the first-rate bottoms. But those of the general consensus had clearly never seen Jungkook in skin-tight jeans, kneeling on the floor while trying to reach for the remote that had fallen under the sofa. 

“You’re zoning out again!” Seokjin was seated opposite you and snapped his fingers in front of your face. “You know I hate being ignored, y/n.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you…” Your cheeks colored as you tried to rid your mind of the images of Jungkook from that morning, reaching for the highest shelf and flashing a beautiful strip of impeccably shaped abs.

“Tell me you aren’t daydreaming about Jungkook’s ass.”

“I am not daydreaming about Jungkook’s a-” You closed your mouth quickly, slapping Seokjin’s arm for good measure. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Work’s so boring and you’re so predictably entertaining, y/n,” he grinned and bit into the chocolate cupcake in front of him. “I miss seeing you everyday.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” you grumbled.

“Nah, but seriously, Jungkook’s a solid guy - pun completely intended.” You rolled your eyes as he snickered at his joke. “You two would be good together.”

“You’re well aware of my stance on people setting me up, right?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“No one’s setting you up. I’m just saying -” Seokjin popped the remaining half of the cupcake into his mouth - “if there’s potential, you shouldn’t stop yourself.”

Unfortunately, any potential that may have been present, completely fizzled out when you got home that afternoon. You had made one thing perfectly clear the day that Jungkook had moved in with his stuff - your snack supply was completely off-limits. Yet here you were, staring at a near empty basket while Jungkook lounged on the sofa with chocolatey fingers and an empty chips packet lying on the table. 

Pert bottoms definitely did not trump snack supplies - as Jungkook found out the hard way when a pillow came crashing down on him with the wrath of all your ancestors combined.

“Y/n! What the fuck?!” he yelped, ducking from your well-aimed blows.

“My snacks! They’re off limits! Asshole!” You punctuated each word with a smack of your pillow.

“Stop! Stop!” He grabbed the pillow from your hands and threw it as far as he could. “I’m sorry! I was really hungry and there wasn’t anything else at home!”

His stupid big doe eyes were just too damn sincere and you felt yourself deflating and sinking into the sofa. After making sure that you wouldn’t attack him again, Jungkook sat down beside you, nudging you softly with his shoulder. “I was going to go to the asian store once they open in the evening. Do you want to come with and help me replenish the snack supply?”

You huffed in annoyance but gradually rested your head on his shoulder. Jungkook had lived with you long enough to know that that was a yes.

Week 4 with Jungkook

Choosing movies to watch over dinner was always something you struggled with. Not when you were alone. No, you knew exactly what you wanted to watch. Your Netflix suggestions were appropriately lined up with crime dramas and sci-fi thrillers. It was only when there was someone else watching with you that the situation became contentious. Namjoon had a penchant for documentaries, and Hobi and Jimin liked watching musicals. Seokjin refused to watch anything even remotely close to a horror film, and Yoongi and Taehyung always voted for heavy art films. And Jungkook-

“I am not watching Titanic.” You settled into the sofa with your bowl of pasta, reaching forward to grab the soda can on the table.

“Come on, y/n! It’s a classic!” Jungkook whined. You had realised that the boy whined a lot over little things like movie selections and waking up before 8 am. “A tragic tale of true love.”

You snorted into your food. “True love would’ve been if they’d both survived.”

“You’re so cold.” There it was, the infamous Jeon Jungkook pout. It didn’t make an appearance often, but when it did, you found yourself growing weaker and much more likely to give in to whatever stupid thing he wanted.

“Fine. Put it on. But don’t blame me when I end up scrolling through Instagram the entire time.”

“I won’t,” he grinned and sat down next to you. The sofa dipped considerably and you found yourself sliding towards him involuntarily. It wasn’t that this position was uncomfortable - you were actually really fond of unwitting physical contact with your friends. The only problem was the way your heartbeat quickened every time the unwitting contact was with Jungkook. 

By the time the movie was over, Jungkook’s nose was running. It was no secret that he cried during sad movies but you still loved teasing him about how easily characters brought him to tears.

“Damn, look at you crying over Jack and Rose. They’re just fictional characters and Rose didn’t even die! What would you do if I was in their place? Would you cry over me too, Gguk?” You nudged his shoulder playfully.

“No.” His reply was firm and you wondered if he had been offended this time.

“No? Why not?”

“I’d never let that happen to you.”

You could safely say that you had never bolted to the bathroom as quickly as that moment, splashing your cheeks with cold water to bring down the flush.

This wasn’t the only time Jungkook had left you completely speechless, however. He ordered takeout much more than you did, not having time to cook much because of his internship. And his takeout orders usually consisted of either pizza or fried chicken. On most days, you were done with dinner by the time he got home and ordered takeout.

On one such day, you looked up from the spreadsheet you had been working on, your stomach clearly unsatisfied with the grilled cheese sandwich you had eaten a couple of hours ago. Making your way to the kitchen, you rummaged through the contents of the fridge, huffing in annoyance as you found nothing suitable for your current hunger-related dilemma.

“Do you want pizza? I’ve finished but there are a couple of slices left.” Jungkook pushed the box towards you and turned his attention back to his phone. It was a veggie supreme - something that Jungkook always ordered.

“How come there aren’t any olives?” you asked, knowing that that particular pizza store always put olives on their veggie pizzas.

“I asked them to take out the olives.”

“Why? I thought you loved olives.”

“I do. But you don’t eat olives.”

Your mouth hung open for a moment. “But you ordered the pizza for yourself…”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want the olives to stop you in case you wanted to have a slice.”

He hadn’t looked up during the entire conversation but you could see the way his cheeks turned pink and how he kept tugging at his ear. You, yourself, felt your heart soar and bit into a slice of pizza - trying to stop the shit-eating grin from spreading on your face.

After Jungkook

It turned out that Jungkook didn’t need to stay at your place for more than a month. Jimin and Taehyung had somehow convinced their landlord to allow them to move in a month ahead of the designated move-in date, which meant that you were once again living alone. 

It was weird. There was a lot of space in your cupboards once again and the fridge didn’t always smell of chocolate shakes and overripe bananas. You were also free to choose whatever movie you wanted to watch with dinner. But something still felt amiss…

You sighed and reached for your basket of snacks, frowning as your fingers swiped at thin air. Your eyes widened as you glanced at your previously well-stocked supply of snacks, noting the distinct lack of at least 75% percent of its contents.

“JEON JUNGKOOK!”

please leave a comment if you enjoyed this story!  tagging @holynamtiddies​ , @hauntedlilies​

[south-park-meta]

why does the big fix bother you? I personally thought it was great, and stan is my favorite character

It's not a Stan issue lol at least not a Stan issue per se. Like I don't have an issue with him having been a douche and I expected this to be a Stan's bigheaded, Stan's racially ignorant episode that I was secondhand embarrassed by and I actually didn't really get it as bad as I thought. I was only secondhand embarrassed by him doing his lil auditorium speech which is very low level compared to Butterballs or honestly any other episode where he gets up his own ass at all. That said, him being my favorite character is a big part of why I think I should probably back off saying this episode really fucked up my sp opinions going forward.

It took me a while to sort through my feelings on it so here's the primary thing quoted from another post:

Thinking on it a bit more I think realistically it has something to do with the premise but it also has to do with a level of rehashing. My guess when the summary went up with the preview was that it would be a Stan based ignorant racism ep in the vein of Randy’s 'nword’ episode. With the plot description I even secretly thought 'Tolkien’ because it sounded the same as Token,though I didn’t think they’d be changing his name lol. But I think the fact I was right is in a weird way the problem I have with it. It’s effectively rehashing multiple episodes and plot points– Randy is careless with his family, Randy cares more about Tegridy than his relationships, Randy is racist and Stan is at least ignorant probably in part because of his dad, Stan wants to learn to do better but is tripped up by 'looking’ like he’s a good person…. All of that’s been done before, sometimes better and sometimes not.

The differences for this one are: it requires Stan to be wrong about something there’s realistically no way he could be wrong about even outside of all the canonical evidence he’s right and it being a meta gag more than anything. It’s an unreality that just doesn’t make sense in an in-universe way unlike a lot of South Park’s unrealities. It requires Randy to be getting closer and closer to full on irredeemable instead of just ignorant. And in the wake of Return of Covid it gets more and more unbelievable that Stan would think of gifting Randy the weed at the end– something already unbelievable keeping in mind Post Covid itself but getting worse with the more Tegridy makes all their relationships worse. The selling point of South Park to me has always been the characterization and relationships between the characters and after JUST making a big stink about how important friendships are they’ve done nothing with them and just rehashed old plot points in a way that sacrificed characterization and believability of relationships. On its face it’s a funny episode though and I do think I’m the only person it’s really hitting sideways,but it bizarrely made me not care about my favorite characters and relationships in the show.

(ETA as a clarifier for this: Stan didn't act out of character for the situation he was in. But the situation itself shows a lack of care for characters' and relationships' backgrounds that the show usually doesn't.)

So,other thoughts.

As I was thinking on it, this episode also half-assed what it did with Tolkien. I don't mean the fact that Stan shoved him out of the class, which is the point enough that I think it's fine even though I think it also doubles as a cheap way to not have to write Tolkien's reaction to things. But on an episode about how Tolkien's not a token black kid they have him say like three sentences. And the reactions he does have are to say he doesn't have a choice in things (twice), and to say something that is clearly meant to 'sound' black (jive-ass). I'm white so this is one of those things that's hard for me to be like it's soooo problematic or anything. But I do think it's another weak character moment on top of an episode of weak character moments and I do think it's an episode of both talking over black characters in an ironic way in particular when it comes to Stan and talking over them/still marginalizing their roles unironically because it's a show written by a middle aged white guy who's putting a lot of stock in mic drop moments to carry weight.

ETA for this part too lol Like even ignoring the 'I don't have a choice in my name thing' since fine, he doesn't. Tolkien could avoid Stan on the farms even if they're neighbors if he thinks this has made Stan a big enough tool in his eyes. It's an episode of saying Tolkien's not just a prop while giving him no agency for anything not just in how Stan relegates him to being outside of the group but in how the script as a whole is written. I'd assume this is something that could change in upcoming episodes with Tolkien being more of a supporting character. Or maybe it won't since even main characters got pushed back in Pajama Day idek. Either way this episode on its own is changing optics, not the actual behavior, at the expense of internal realism for the characters and a 'gotcha, audience' gag.

I'll be frank that I don't tend to like fourth wall breaking jokes anyway. I don't for instance like most celeb references. So it's automatically not geared to me.