#which is mostly RTs fault

[hyperfi]

Just pointing out here that at the time Kikyo was resurrected, Kagome and Inuyasha were not an official "thing." Yes, they clearly care for one another, but each of them is still playing at not being interested.

Just to fuckin clarify, that's not his girlfriend and he really doesn't have an obligation to her at that point.

So shut the fuck up about two timing or whatever nonsense.

[major-comet]

I finally watched RvB: Zero, and I think I have more questions than answers

this tweet aged Quite Poorly

So while I was watching I took like, a whole page of notes. I'm going to try to break down / determine what exactly it was that wasn't working for me. This is long as shit, and I apologize for that, but this has been almost four years coming

Okay, starting off strong with possibly one of my more controversial takes:

it looked Bad (or at the very least, not like halo. which in part means it didn't look like red vs blue)

I was trying to figure out how to explain what it looked like to me, and the best I could come up with is that a lot of Zero looks like a Hunt Down the Freeman cutscene. linked here for context. It looks like someone made a show in Source Film Maker and then threw a bunch of weird lighting and filters over it (which tbh is probably how they made the HDTF cutscenes.) It's so weird because I don't remember it looking like that - the memory I had of the trailer in my head from 2020 looked a lot better. I think the jump to the Unreal Engine was not a graceful one - and I do recognize the effect that the beginning of the pandemic had on it, but I also just don't think it's the right direction for rvb. The machinima in Halo is like, a huge part of rvb's charm for me, and it's sorely missed. At some point it's stopped feeling like a Halo show. In trying to look cutting edge and New, it somehow has looped back around and feels very dated to me, and not in a charming way.

I think this really comes across in the cinematography and camera work. The camera in Halo works and looks a very particular way, and one of the things that gives rvb it's distinct look is the number of mostly static camera shots, focused mainly on dialogue. Church says it best in episode one - "That's all they EVER do, is stand there and talk." - and one of the things that continues to make Red vs Blue work so well after they started doing animation for it is the visual / narrative contrast between the slower / static / grounded machinima scenes, and the fast paced animated fights. Finishing a fight scene, and then going back to the machinima not only provides a narrative resting point, it also provides a visual rest. It makes all the cool shit you do in the fights stand out more, because it feels visually different from everything else.

Zero feels like everything is moving all the time, and all the time everything is moving very fast. It has this sort of frenetic energy throughout the whole thing: it never feels like the characters have any time to breathe - figuratively or literally. It felt like I was watching it on 1.5x speed. They never idle - they're always moving around, even when they're just standing in the background while other characters talk. It's overstimulating.

Narratively, it's easy to blame some of that on the poor pacing (which i know is not entirely the creative teams fault: I'm very familiar with how bad RT's animation department was about that sort of thing), but visually it was a Choice - a distinct departure from one of the iconic visuals of the 17 seasons that came before it. I think that's part of what makes it feel so much like Source Film Maker to me - I very much associate that kind of frantic camera work with TF2 and Half Life videos. I felt like I couldn't look at it for too long because I could feel myself getting a bit woozy (i'm Very prone to motion sickness, especially while watching animated shows)

I will say: the fights - whenever the camera would actually let me see what was going on - looked nice. They mostly fixed the weird floaty feeling that I seem to remember a lot of the fights in Shisno having, and hits felt like they had a decent weight to them (especially Carolina falling towards the end, that impact with the ground was Hard). Although [I think it was Phase?] kept doing this "kick the camera in a POV shot to make a transition" thing, and I don't think it ever felt like that kick actually connected with anything Once. However, and this is something my brother pointed out while we were watching last night, it felt less like I was watching people in a fight. That's part of the charm of using motion capture for your fight animations - you can tell that there's people and a real and tangible weight behind all of those movements. It was part of what made Monty's style so distinct, and it has basically become a part of the identity of Rooster Teeth Animation as a whole because of that. It's not perfect, it definitely has its roadblocks and issues, and when unsuccessful it can definitely look odd and floaty - but it's easy to overlook all that, because when they get it right? It's breathtaking. When the fight you're watching has that weight of reality to it, it's something really special.

In my opinion, Zero discarded the two most important things to RvB's visual identity: the Halo machinima, and the motion capture fight scenes. What we're kind of left with is something that wouldn't feel out of place during a Summer Games Fest or Game Awards - I think Zero really looks like the video RT did to announce that Master Chief was coming to Fortnite.

Important to note, because I think it plays into my thoughts about the show and everything surrounding it, is that Torrian thought that machinima was "a dying medium" and that going back to it would have been "going backwards".

I have, a lot of thoughts on an rvb director having those kinds of feelings about the medium that rvb is so famous for that there's chapters about it in books written on the medium, and acknowledgements and thanks to Burnie in others - but that's a whole other topic for a whole other time. At the end of the day: it doesn't matter that much, but I think it definitely plays into how visually different Zero is from everything that came before and after it.

Anyways, moving on:

the voice directing was wildly inconsistent, and often kinda Bad

This isn't something I want to pin on the VA's, especially since a lot of my issues were actually with Shannon and Jason. I think the first thing I said when Tucker started talking was quite genuinely "that doesn't sound like Jason" - and Wash sounded super weird in episode one as well. I had issues with how the new characters were directed too (Was it Phase who kept calling West "old man" but weirdly stressing the "old" and not the "man"? That's totally nitpicky, but it was weirdly noticeable to me), but it felt very strange to me for the ones who seemed to be given the worst directing to be the two who've been with the show the longest. Although I will say - Jen was acting like the fucking rent was due and sounded perfectly fine. Also I think the best line delivery Wash had was absolutely him telling Tucker that he missed him - he just sounded so goddamn fond.

I do also want to give a shout-out to the guy that replaced Ryan after the everything came out and they needed to recast him - that role drips like it was written for Ryan and his voice and general line delivery, and I know that redoing those lines must have been a Nightmare. Honestly he did really well with those circumstances.

the pacing was nightmarish

Again, very willing to blame a lot of this on the higher ups, but I also think it was trying to do way too many things in the limited time they had. Trying to put importance on our returning characters (well, Carolina at least), but also make the Axel & Zero thing feel important, but also give the Phase/East & West thing the weight it needed, and somehow fit in "caring about what happens to One, Raymond, and Tiny" - and somehow that means we're left in a situation where a character we've had since the first episode of season one almost dies and it's given almost no weight compared to the villain reveal of a character we've known for 5 episodes. Everything suffers from this pacing, the characters especially. You're introducing a whole cast of new characters into a show that had been running for almost two decades at this point - it takes time to endear the audience to 6 (?) new protagonists. And none of the characters are given that time to breathe that they desperately need.

also a visual thing, but: everything is too shiny and/or glowy

Part of what makes the energy sword so cool, both in Halo as a whole (or at least the Bungie games, which are all I've played so far) and in RvB is that it stands out from the environment. It looks cool and different and, well, alien. It's part of why I hate the remastered anniversary version of Halo: Combat Evolved so much - everything looks so glowy and bright all the time, and it means that the little things get lost. If everything glows, nothing glows - the show is just brighter. Everything glows in Zero.

Speaking of the energy sword:

why in gods name was Tucker even here, and what the hell happened to Locus

Tucker existed in this story just to do a fake-out death and provide the villain with his sword. I think I almost would have respected it more if they had committed to actually killing him - I wouldn't have Liked it, but I think I would have almost respected the balls it would take to do that. Tucker's sword was apparently the last one they needed, which means the two options we're left with are that A) they killed Locus, fan favorite Locus, unceremoniously off-screen without so much as Mentioning him, or B) they just. forgot about him. neither of those are great options.

Part of this is complicated by the fact that Gray left RT on not so great terms, but like fuck they could've at least mentioned him. let Zero do a long narration over a flashback of him killing Locus, or even just some dumb throwaway line about how they just needed one of the particular kind of keys that Tucker and Locus have (they're visually distinct from all of the other keys in Zero and I don't think I remember them mentioning that fact At All why do all of the other keys look like Cloud Strife's Buster Sword) - something would have been nice. Tucker was brought in for an episode and a quarter just to move the plot along - the plot that really didn't even need to involve him in the first place, even though he's had his key since season 3 and it has been an integral part of his character literally ever since. It really kind of feels like they needed to bring him in to fake-out his death because they wrote themselves into a corner with the keys.

Hey, here's an interesting question:

why did we need to tie this into the keys at all?

This kind of brings us into my main thought about Zero, which is that not only is Zero maybe not so great for rvb - rvb isn't great for Zero. Zero is not served in any way shape or form by being a season of Red vs Blue - in fact I think that a decent chunk of my major issues with the show would be almost completely solved if I was watching some new show called Shatter Squad or something, instead of season 18 of a show I've been watching for years.

So many of my issues with it are with how clunky all of the rvb stuff feels - which obviously isn't helped by the pacing, but think about how much nicer the pacing could have felt for all of the shatter squad stuff if we weren't also trying to fit Carolina, Wash, and Tucker in there. Why did this villain plot have to involve the keys at all - why couldn't Zero have had it's own macguffin? hey speaking of the weird rvb stuff;

stop calling him David & other such grievances

this next section is just a direct sampling of my notes from while i was watching.

stop calling him David. why did Wash willingly put more electronics in his head - that seems odd for him? and also; wasn't his whole arc through the time travel stuff about coming to terms with being disabled? it's kind of shitty to the disabled fans who saw something of themselves in Wash to then immediately turn around and say that basically nothing that happened in 16 and 17 mattered At All because the technology existed to just, erase his plot motivating disability, right? stop calling him David. has Carolina ever called him Lavernius before? stop calling him David. i wish Gray was still around so Locus could have been dragged into this. why didn’t Wash and Carolina just stay retired with the Reds and blues Caboose? why the fuck did Tucker not retire. why the fuck is he just off somewhere else, without his friends or even his goddamn KID where’s Junior - you're doing a whole plot about the alien keys without a single goddamn alien showing up?

okay now back to new / cleaned up thoughts. just a few more things.

I don't have anywhere else to really fit this in, but the cars looked Abysmal. Like a cybertruck but somehow worse.

Do you remember those 2020 tiktok cosplay videos where they were constantly switching from pose to pose? That's kind of how the characters move - I really noticed it the most in episode 5. They never stand there and idle, it feels like they're always posing. It's also kind of like RWBY in that regard - very "I'm queen of the castle", in a way.

Without the Reds and Blues around, and by virtue of not being fully limited by game assets anymore, you had all the colors of the rainbow to choose from. Why do we have two new orange characters (both protags, even) and two new blue characters? (the red ones are fine because that's a narrative thing that connects them, like North and South). It's kind of a bad character design choice, especially for the orange ones because it means that I can't easily tell who's in a lineup of characters at a quick glance - and with everything always moving so fast in Zero, the ability to do that would be really helpful.

I almost respect how stupid the whole "ultimate power" thing was. Zero was giving Shadow the Hedgehog at points, which I kinda liked. (maybe that was just because he had a red and black color scheme paired against One's primarily blue armor)

I honestly really liked Tiny, but I'm worried that that's just because she was hardly in it. Her armor was like, Lakers colors, and I thought it looked really nice in this style.

There were a few points where I looked at in and thought that it looked like a Skylanders cutscene

I feel like I came out of those 8 episodes knowing almost nothing about One. By playing her against Zero, it comes off like she's supposed to be the primary protagonist, but all of the character development time has to be devoted towards East & West for there to even be a Hope of that plot line having an impact. It made her big "why are we here" rally speech towards the end feel really undeserved because actually No, One, I have no idea why you're really here. (and they did Not earn a big "why are we here" rally speech in general, rvb didn't even earn one of those until they were like, 8 seasons in.)

If I say “the writing in rvb needs to feel at least a little bit dated.”, do you know what I mean? does that make sense? Where’s the Battlestar Galactica jokes? Where’s all of Sarge’s references that are way outdated even by early 2000s standards? Where's the Reds and Blues re-creating Reservoir Dogs just to cheer up Tucker?

I feel like one of the issues I have with Zero (which to be fair is also a problem with how the higher ups and creatives seem to have viewed RvB more generally - looking at you, Burnie and Restoration) is that it seems like it fundamentally misunderstands the kind of audience rvb actually had by that point in time - the people who were still watching rvb all the way through 2020 were people who liked all of its little quirks and its characters enough to stick with it - and Zero has like, none of that. It feels more like I'm watching a futuristic sci-fi version of RWBY than it does rvb. I understand that Zero was obviously trying to court a new audience, but they did so in a way that makes the show feel completely different than everything that came before it.

OH MY GOD there was this song that played I think during the fighting in episode 5 that sounded scarily like Not Gonna Die Tonight by Skillet, and it made us cry laughing after I pointed it out

I wish they had leaned more into Raymond being a frenetic inventor/tech guy, I thought he really shined in those moments

Carolina and I don't always get along, but goddamn watching her be reduced to revolving around Wash like this just sucked. made me feel bad for her. Like they bring Wash back and re-able (?) him just for him to be a damsel/plot device for Carolina in a way that feels weird and bad for both of them. Like fuck, when he was a plot device in Shisno it still at least mostly felt like he had his own agency as a character and didn't just exist to motivate Carolina and Tucker.

Full disclosure here, it's been so long I don't quite remember exactly what ended up keeping me from watching Zero just a few short days after I said I was looking forward to it. If I had to make a guess though, I'd say it was the Wash thing - I probably heard about it, and immediately decided I wasn't gonna fuck with Zero. I think I'm even more upset about that now than I was back then. I haven't rewatched seasons 15-17 since before I finally got sick enough that I started to actually consider myself disabled, but I know that arc is going to hit Very Different now compared to when I was in high school - before I had to change career paths because of my disability and feeling like i was losing a part of myself in the process. Idk, I still feel like I just don't understand why they would even do that.

Anyways: besides my fix of "just let it stand on it's own as a shatter squad show and not make it be rvb", I do have one thing that I think would have really helped it

Just focus the conflict in on Axel and Zero and how it all affects One, who I think was supposed to have been the main protagonist?

Part of the problem Zero faced is that it was trying to do too many things. I think if they had really focused in on Axel and Zero for this season, and then held onto that East/Phase reveal until a later season it would've been leagues better. So much of the Phase reveal hinged on the audience caring very deeply about East, and it totally just did not land for me. It's an eight episode season, and that reveal happens in Episode 5. If that reveal had been allowed more buildup by being saved for a later entry in the series (that yes, may or may not have ever even been made, but work with me here), it would have had way more impact, and would have made way more sense for it to affect Raymond so hard - Raymond, who has only known East about as long as we have. None of the plots really felt like they had room to breathe, even the East/Phase stuff which absolutely felt like it was given the most space and weight, even though the show is literally named after Zero.

OKAY I wrote way more about that than I had planned to, and tbh I still feel like I haven't covered it all but this is now over 3,300 words and I think I have to stop at some point. Zero has some strong bones to it, but I don't think the execution does them justice.

[tiny-talks-big-tales]

Cyborg upgrades are... pending? Question mark?

In true ✨my life is hell✨ fashion things happen and look promising and then either stuff gets delayed or it just dissolves into the fucken aether or something, I don't know. Anyway. Status updates! This is honestly a great way for me to sort the chaos in my thoughts out as well.

New power wheelchair

Okay this one is mostly proceeding as expected. After the 1st fitting in April, they ordered like 40 parts to bring for the 2nd fitting. We had the 2nd fitting in June. During that, one of the more important parts was missing a mounting bracket (not their fault, shipment error somewhere along the way), otherwise we got to try most of the stuff as intended. It went okay, I sat without help from other humans in the chair for a while, which is huge! And it answered most of our remaining questions about how to configure the chair.

So after that 2nd fitting we had a list of 6 remaining things to sort, one of them being the missing mounting bracket, 2 of them being parts the local tech will handmake for me, and the remaining 3 being additional things to order in. The correct shape table, a different height and depth backrest, and a different type seat cushion. The cushion is made on demand and not kept in stock, so that's a 6 week wait. It gets made in Mexico at the Jay factory. For anyone who's curious it's a Jay J2 Deep Contour. Here's some funny photos for anyone who doesn't know what that is.

The cushion is made up of 3 main parts: Foam base, gel pad, and cover. Foam base is firm and can be cut to shape if needed, and takes the bulk of more rough pressure relief. Gel pad is, as the name implies, a thick-ass pad full of gel inside. It can shape with the body a bit and protects the skin by distributing pressure evenly. And the cover just goes around both for... cover reasons.

There's also extra blocks of foam that can be used to keep the legs and hips in the right spot by adding more edge to the sides and a bigger wedge between the thighs at the front. I'll be having that.

So yeah the wait between 2nd fitting and the upcoming 3rd fitting is PRIMARILY just waiting for this particular cushion. It should be here by first week of August, unless there's been delays. If all's well then 3rd fitting will be in 1st or 2nd week of August most likely.

And the 3rd fitting will double as delivery! Which means I'm super close to having a wheelchair again. I can't describe how hype that is after 9 months trapped in bed just because some bitch didn't wanna do her job.

Hearing aids (HAs)

The hearing central appointment was a disaster and they proceeded to deny further healthcare from there based on "hearing aids don't work for APD" (factually incorrect) and "you don't seem motivated" (dismissing my words as lack of motivation is mean tbh).

I've sent an appeal and a complaint about the way they spoke to me and the long stream of factually incorrect nonsense they made me listen to, such as "so hearing aids work by amplifying all the sounds equally much and you can't filter or be selectively louder in some things than others". I guess 20 EQ channels in proprietary audiology programming software and a dozen different noise filtering and clarity improving technologies are just there for decoration, then /s

While I wait to see the outcome of appealing that nonsense I went ahead and bought a used pair of Phonak Paradise HAs, that's the previous generation from Phonak and I got the version with telecoil (RT) and highest technology level (P90). I paid about a 1/5th of what the equivalent model in the current generation costs new.

That means I get to learn how to program HAs myself! It's gonna be fun. I'm waiting for a hardware device needed to connect them to the programming software in the mail, but the HAs themselves already arrived along with some small tidbit supplies I ordered.

"Fine, I'll do it myself. >:("

The AAC trial device

Something's wrong with the eye detector on it I think, no matter what we do it doesn't work right, so I gotta wait until my guy at the disability aid central is back from vacation to ask about that. At least this time it's technical errors, not human error. And I've been using the device plenty otherwise, just not with eye access. Keyboard and trackball go brrr.

Breathing sucks help

I have no idea what happened there. Went to the appointment, spirometry put me in the low yellow areas I think, got sent home with a sleep study kit, used that but unfortunately couldn't fall asleep while wearing it, got someone to deliver the kit back to the clinic... and then radio silence? Okay? Hmph. I'll nag my primary doc about it whenever he returns from vacation.

TL;DR

Possibly getting my new wheelchair in 1st or 2nd week of august, as long as no part deliveries are delayed and that's super exciting.

Hearing central appointment sucked and it would take a clever 7 year old approximately 5 minutes to debunk their claims with a fact check search online. But it's ok because I'll just do it myself then :) Bought some used hearing aids that I'll DIY the programming on.

The portable AAC device with eye access that I'm trialling has something not working right with the eye access part, but the dude who can help fix it is on vacation.

Breathing stuff appointment went okay, kinda bad but not horrid results as expected, then I failed the sleep study by not sleeping in it, and it's been radio silence since. The dude who can help with the radio silence is also on vacation.

I'm tired, boss ._.

[friedesgreatscythe]

i don’t really write blog entries on here anymore. i sometimes use twitter for that, but mostly i use it to shitpost, talk about writing (briefly), RT art i like, and just chat with my indie writer buddies.

i feel a little bad; in the past people would message me saying how helpful my longer entries were for them, how it resonated with them, how they understood how i felt because they felt something similar themselves. not writing entries like that anymore makes me feel a bit guilty, i suppose. are those people okay? did they find a way to express those thoughts? are they doing better now? do they no longer resonate so strongly with how it feels to be traumatized and suffering? i wish them well. i wish them health. i hope they’re doing better.

in a way, i guess that means im doing better? it’s hard to look at myself like that; i’m too close to the source of it all to be able to make an objective statement. my doctor has said, more than once, that he thinks i’ve changed considerably. he always makes sure to pose the question back to me: do i think so? do i see myself as that?

in some ways yeah, i can “see” it. it’s easier for me to enjoy the things i enjoy without feeling guilty. it’s easier for me to avoid the mire of judgment and criticism that my thoughts can fall into, and if i do fall into it, i find it easier to start clawing my way out. even if i can’t get clear of it completely, i still feel like my head’s above water (even if just barely). i get along better with my mother because i’m healthier, and even though she and i have a toxic relationship, that doesn’t mean it’s my fault, or that i can’t control how it effects me, or how i take part in it; it doesn’t mean i can’t sympathize with her, or show compassion to her, or help her when she needs one or all of the above.

but when it comes to “seeing” myself, that feels like someone is speaking a language ive never heard before. what do you mean i have to take a step back and look at myself? what do you mean i have to at least have a general idea of who “i” am? i see myself in pieces: krist the writer, krist the survivor, krist the reader, krist the sister, krist the new yorker, krist the cat owner, krist the enby bi, krist the millennial, etc. etc. there’s parts of my identity that are so divided, so distinct, that they feel like the main “me” at any given time, if im feeling strongly about one of them.

but i also see myself as two larger, distinct entities: the me in my head, with thoughts and feelings and goals and fears and passions, and the me that is literal, physical, tangible, visceral. and i really hate that second one. i hate looking at her. i hate touching her. i hate taking care of her. personal hygiene aside (because like HELL would i ever forgo that) i neglect her as much as i can, until it hurts too much. and i’m ok with that. i don’t mind it. i like it. and i don’t want to stop that habit.

which, of course, means that’s exactly what we’re going to work on, and destroy, and reshape, and set aside, or find a way to replace in therapy. merging the me in my head with the me in my skin, the me that is skin, the me that is a heartbeat and breath and blood and piss and hunger. and i hate the thought of it. i hate it dearly. all my life things can and did and would happen to my body that i couldn’t stop, but the one thing that couldn’t be touched was my mind, the me in there. i don’t want to be both. i don’t want to be one. i want to be piloting this stupid body like a meatsuit mech and go about my days happy with that division.

[keefwho]

August 15 - 2024 Thursday

10:44pm

4/10

I did my whole workout this morning and felt good about it.

Work was good today. Again I really didn't want to do classic warmups where I add generic poses to my sketch sheet. I worked on something personal to warm up and make good progress on the commission today. I thought I did excellent on the background but started struggling on the shading of the characters because I don't have a good formula for that still. I felt nervous at the start of the stream for some reason but I got into the flow of it like usual.

For lunch I made some pretty bad tuna macaroni. I think I got a bad can of tuna, there was less than usual and it came in little bits instead of the usual folded structure. Smelled a little weird too, like it's parts of tuna that aren't usually used.

I've been watching a lot of Summer Camp Island, its like my comfort show right now. It gets me thinking a lot about friendship given thats what a lot of the episodes are about but in a low-key way. I love the vibe of getting up to new and crazy stuff at a summer camp with your friends. It feels secure, like you know no one is going anywhere. Its how great bonds are formed like how everyone is forced to go to school together.

This afternoon I was meant to work on art for my socials, so like drawing popular characters to boost my numbers some. I didn't want to do any of my ideas though, I think they are all kinda lame and have nothing going for them. So I worked on my own stuff a little bit but while I did, I got kinda hot so I did something about that instead. Then I finished BD and TK's statues for my world and got the place updated. I'm proud of that, I wasn't sure I'd have it in me to get it all done this week. But thats why I made verbal promises to everyone that I would do it this week because that would force me to uphold it. I knew beforehand it was well within my capability so it's not like I pushed myself for this.

JD and I hung out and talked for a little after work. We looked at new RTS games to play together and settled on Planetary Annihilation which I was iffy on at first but once we started playing, I can tell I'm going to be addicted. He really liked it too so I guess we found our game for now. We also talked about feelings and stuff like usual but we tried to focus more on the game intentionally. Today I had to tell him that I didn't feel good around almost anyone. I didn't feel the connection, even to him and that it's because there is something wrong with me.

In general today I was feeling insecure and unwanted. I waited for DS for an hour in VR doing basically nothing due to some miscommunication and Discord being fucky and until I knew it was mostly Discord's fault, I took it a little poorly. I tend to wait a lot which is something I told myself to stop doing for literally anyone. There is always something I could be doing until the other person is confirmed to be ready and on their way. I wait too much. When she got on we had a good time. We talked a little and I got some much needed reassurance. We went to my world to look at the new statues and then we took a stroll down my (very crunchy) art gallery again. Its always nice taking that trip down memory lane and talking about my old work. In bed we puzzled and she read a chapter of Monster High. I did a good job of listening to and conceptualized her words since I've always struggled with that for some reason. Its too easy for my mind to go on a tangent about a particular sentence and then I stop hearing new stuff. Its a good exercise in focus though.

I think it's about time to start leaping into accomplishing goals I need to get done for my own good before certain deadlines. It can be hard when I struggle with day to day personal goals but the stress of very real deadlines always makes me go hard. I know I'll fumble but it's necessary to start figuring out what I need to do for myself and my friends.

[cinemacentral666]

Earthquake Bird (2019)

Movie #1,077 • TWO FOR TUESDAY

It's BIRD day here on TWO FOR TUESDAY. (The other 2019 "Bird" themed film deserves a standalone post, as you'll see.)

I think the movie poster perfectly encapsulates the quality of this movie: perhaps not bad but definitely not good. I was surprised that this stock Netflix-core thriller has 48% on RT. Feels like at least a 63%-er to me. Surely it's not worse than half of the other films of this ilk (again: see the movie poster, you know what I'm talking about).

Based on a 2001 novel set in the late 80s, Earthquake Bird struggles mostly with its pacing. You know the twist (or, twists in this case) are coming and in the translation from paper to screen, this becomes the only aspect one thinks about. The first reveal (which turns out to be a fake-out) felt abrupt and the second felt wholly unearned. And a tacked-on Good Will Hunting ass "It's not your fault" denouement meant to alleviate some of our protagonist's (Alicia Vikander) mountain of guilt really rubbed me the wrong way.

Still, the backdrop of Japan is nice and the movie looks pretty good and is well-acted overall. It's part of a canon of inoffensive psychological thrillers that they've been making forever. With streaming, however, they feel more like a dime a dozen than ever.

SCORE: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️¾

[rwdelady]

Here are the results lol.

I have a suspicion that there were people thinking I was proposing "solutions" to the v10 thingy rather than just being a shipost, but that's my fault for not making it more obvious, and some ended up taking poll a little too seriously, but still let's review the winners and the losers:

1st° - Series is canceled and then rebooted, without MK.

Yay!!! My favorite won!!

I think it’s pretty obvious by now that I have stopped having faith in RT and them writing any semblance (pun very much intended) of good series, I think they were riding the wave and fandom that Monty left behind with his early departing and now that most of that hype has gone, they no longer have any incentive to continue it. That's why they're leaving it in the hands of the audiences, for me that sounds the same as washing their hands off the responsability.

Yes, I'm aware I sound very mean, but honestly, I don't think they deserve much else from the fandom at this point, the only people I feel bad for are the crew members who were mistreated and do professional ass kissing to MK.

Having said all that, I'm also deeply aware that this is an almost too ideal scenario and even if it happened there wouldn't be any guarantee of the reboot's quality.

2nd° - V10 doesn't get greenlit and the series is put on hiatus.

For a while it looked like this one was going to win, and it's not like I hate it or anything but I find this one significantly less funny than the others, probably because it's the one that's more likely to happen, and that makes it less funny and sadder instead.

Also, who knows how long of a hiatus it would be?

3rd° - Series is canceled and Ice Queendom becomes the reboot

I'm honestly surprised this one ranked as high as it did, I sort of added it as a joke, because of how divisive the anime ended up being among certain people.

I myself have mixed feelings about it, my general thoughts were that it was a-okay by the standards of rvvby, but pretty meh for an action anime, and I remember feeling disappointed that we didn't get a proper soundtrack and instead mostly rehash songs and scores from the og, and while some of the action scenes do look prettier, they also skipped A LOT for the sake a wrapping everything that wasn't about Weiss.

Those were the top three, and honestly the remaining 3 aren't that different from each other which is probably why they ranked so low, because I wrote the poll in one sitting and didn't think that well in the wording my the options lol.

But I'm super glad most of us are in agreement that rvvby could sooo much better if MK were gone from it forever and ever 😂

[fortunefavorsthebrave-dude]

actually i think the one thing i really do wanna say about michael and jack’s comments today other than how well handled i thought they were is that i’m honestly pleasantly surprised at the company’s commitment to go back to edit and delete rh-centric content. like they said, he’s been working there for almost a DECADE, and that entire time they’ve been putting out multiple videos a week, many of which had him in there. this is especially true of the early days stuff where there were fewer members to rotate out in content. this man is deeply embedded in roosterteeth and especially achievement hunter, and has definitely been a part of most of their most popular videos, and they’re taking the time to remove him as fully as possible, views and popularity be damned. 

honestly i didn’t expect that just because of the sheer volume of videos they’re going to have to sort through to do that. i don’t even think i would’ve been mad if they’d said that they were keeping the content up and just moving forward. actually i think one of my millions of vent posts about this mentioned that at some point, that there would be no way for them to do exactly this. but they are, at great personal and likely financial cost, and i respect the hell out of them for it.

[shinidamachu]

I knew Sess was the hogosha the moment Sess' Japanese VA said he voiced him like he was Rin's teacher, back when RT listened to VA's opinions. In Japan it's normal for a student to have one homeroom teacher for all 3 yrs of middle school, then one homeroom teacher for all 3 yrs of high school. In anime you see students have deep conversations with their teacher because they're also your counselor who's there watching you grow up hitting milestones, that's why they're called your "school parent"

I knew Sesshomaru was the hogosha the moment that... well:

You see, the beauty of Inuyasha was that yes, while it certainly lacked a more in-depth world building, leaving mostly for the fandom to fill in the gaps, it never actually needed voice actors, producers or interviews to explain outside of the story key points to the plot, such as the reason behind its characters actions, the nature of the characters relationships with one another and so on.

In fact, it was pretty consistent:

The audience don't need an outside voice to understand what's right on their faces. And they shouldn't have to. That's the thing. I could have spent my whole life not knowing what Sesshomaru's voice actor said (because the audience is under no obligation to keep up with what is said beind the scenes) and it wouldn't matter, because what I really needed to know, the story itself already showed me.

What he said, in the end of the day, was just a fun little trivia. Sure, it might have affected the nuances of his voice and tone, but regardless, he still had a script to follow and his character still had to act the way he was written to act. If he had told, instead: "I voiced Sesshomaru like he was Rin's future husband", it would still not change the fact Sesshomaru's words and actions towards Rin were still those of a guardian, because that's what he was (and therefore the scene would have come out awkward and cringe).

It's fairly different than having to address on interviews why your character is acting OOC and explain to a considerable smaller part of your audience a key point that should have been brought up in the story, a.k.a "Sesshomaru is acting that way because demons only care about their strongest children, like lions do. Hands the rite of courage and cowardice, which you never heard about in the entirety of the Inuyasha manga or in our own anime adaptation. It's a thing now. Even though the original content actually contradicts it." Not a direct quote, but it might as well have been.

What I'm trying to say is: Sesshomaru was a guardian/father/authority figure to Rin and denying that is downplaying and misunderstanding their bond to a fault. Wanting Rin to grow up and marry the guy she worships since she was a child is denying her of any agency and self discovery. Wanting Sesshomaru to wait around for her to come of age is concerning at best, since he watched her grow up.

There is really no explanation for it other than self insertion, but does it even matter anymore? People can claim Rin was Sesshomaru's fucking tamagotchi, for all I care. I know the truth. And so do they. Because if the idea of Rin and Sesshomaru being father and daughter (or whatever other platonic familial label you want to put on it) was so absurd, they wouldn't have been so pressed over it.

Anyway... I stole these pictures to better illustrate my thoughts, so the credit actually goes to @thequestioning-maiden. Thank you, Lelian, for putting them together. And thank you, anon, for passing by and teaching me cool stuff about Japan. I really appreciate that. Don't forget to read Lelian's (incredible) post I linked above, if you haven't yet.

[dragynkeep]

Thoughts on Nora as a character? I feel like she’s handled...poorly.

I’ve been waiting for RT to crash and burn for a while. Sorry if it’s mean, but you can only make junk for so long.

Is it bad if my rwby reviewers are mangakamen or celticphoenix?

nora definitely suffers in the earlier volumes from a lack of screen time devoted to her as a character, much like ren & especially in contrast to pyrrha or jaune. she’s very easily defined as the loud girl to ren’s quiet boy, & everything about her ties back to ren. it’s one of my biggest issues with her in the show that everything about this strong, wilful, dynamic characters ties back to another person in her life & vice versa. they were never allowed to evolve outside of each other while still in beacon.

however she did show one of the most amounts of emotional maturity out of the main eight, giving pyrrha advice on her relationship woes, being able to be that shoulder to lean on & acknowleding her own emotions without pushing them onto others. v1 to 3 nora is easily typecast & not given any screen time, but the seeds are there.

then we get to v4 & both she & ren flourish. they’re still very much tied to each other but we get insight to their backstory, we get a more in depth look to their relationship with each other & nora’s emotional maturity really shines through here. she’s the calm, needed grounding force to centre ren in his emotional breakdown, she’s the pillar for rnjr & it was super refreshing to see her outside of the loud girl personality that reigned for her in the beacon era.

v5 & 6 were mostly understated for nora, with her taking a backseat yet again. i have major issues in her scene with yang where yang’s prosthetic flies off, but that’s more with yang’s treatment as a disabled character than with nora as a character or how mk used her for comedy.

v7 ... was where i began to really dislike not only nora, but her flagship too. we went from the amazing emotional maturity that both had showcased in v4, to nora now being unable to understand ren’s personality & neither of them being able to talk. which would then lead to nora forcing the issue, intruding in ren’s space, ignoring his need for it & then forcing a kiss onto him. this does not fit either of their characters, their relationship or nora’s development in her emotional maturity. she knows ren, she knows who he is & that forcing the issue has never been a good thing because they tried this in kuroyuri & failed. so why was she now suddenly acting strange & demanding ren change his entire personality to encompass her now suddenly “ new ” romantic feelings for him?

at this point, people already thought renora were a thing. actually making them a thing at the end of v4, like we thought, would’ve been much more organic & fitting than this manufactured drama in their relationship before a big, damn kiss which only ended up furthering the divide in them. though, not because she forced it on him, but because it distracted him & got people killed.

volume 8 was a major low point for nora. when really, it should’ve been a great point for her! she was beginning to get solo focus outside of her relationship, she was interacting outside of her team, nora was beginning to become a fleshed out character ... only it shit all over the characterization she previously had. everything now became about how she was never a person outside of her relationship with ren & she needed to figure out who she was which ... sounds like the writers addressing an issue fans have had for years with all the subtlety of a brick to the face.

we know nora is barely anything outside of her relationship with ren. but that isn’t something she should reflect on, eight years into the show & two years in show time, with barely any event to prompt this. this would’ve been a good arc after the fall of beacon, with the pair changing partners & figuring out who they are without each other that then culminates in them coming together stronger to fight against a demon of their past. instead what we get is nora taking ren’s arc from v7 yet still making it his fault & then throwing in a one liner about her shitty parent, because of course she has one. seems like everyone in rwby does nowadays & we needed to make nora even sadder, the poor baby.

i didn’t go into other issues with the character because they felt like nitpicks / personal issues & this is already long as hell but overall, nora had a shaky base that got solidified into something good in v4 & then demolished into rubble in v7 & 8.

as a response to your other question, i don’t know them but if they make content you like, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying that content.

[sineala]

Hello Sine, I read your post few days back on Howard. I didn’t know the MCU had an influence on the comics. I’m really surprised. My question is; were comic Tony or Steve subjected to some changes? Were they influenced by the MCU like Howard or is it mostly for unknown/side characters with no solid foundation? Thank you

Oh, yeah, comics have changed a lot in response to the MCU.

They have a habit of coming out with new events to run at the same time as MCU canon that are theoretically supposed to draw in new readers, I assume, but in practice really have nothing to do with whatever MCU thing is coming out and are generally very confusing. When CACW came out they ran Civil War II, which was a fight between Tony and Carol (who did not, at the time, exist in the MCU) about an Inhuman who I am pretty sure does not exist in the MCU. When Infinity War came out they ran Infinity Wars, which also featured a bunch of people who did not exist in the MCU and was about running a weird bodysharing AU inside the Soul Stone.

They also like to reprint older issues to coincide with MCU events, which is nice of them, but, like, God help you if you watch Age of Ultron and then decide to read Age of Ultron. There are collections of Sam’s complete Cap tenure coming out now, which is very nice, but if you are here from the MCU you may be confused about the part where Sam becomes Cap because Steve is unexpectedly 95 years old (okay, so maybe that part is easy to get now that Endgame has happened) and then also Steve is young again but secretly Hydra and simultaneously Captain America. (They are not reprinting the Steve run that was going on at the same time, as far as I can tell.) And then they push other series into prominence because people like the MCU versions -- and, I mean, I am enjoying the hell out of the current Guardians run, but its major characters include Moondragon, Phyla-Vell, and Rich Rider, so good luck, MCU fans.

Fandom is pretty sure that they stopped FF for a few years because they didn’t have the movie rights and also that they went around retconning a bunch of characters to not be mutants back when they also didn’t have the movie rights to the X-Men; the two most famous are Wanda and Pietro, but, I mean, there was also a Squirrel Girl issue devoted to explaining that she definitely was not a mutant now. They probably also pushed a lot of Inhuman characters and tried to position Inhumans as sort of the next mutants, narratively, because they had movie rights to those.

The main Avengers team is now pretty much mostly made up of characters they want to push in the MCU as well as characters people will know from the MCU. You can tell they also tried to do this at the beginning of Hickman’s Avengers run because he started with the MCU team from the Avengers movie before shoving like twenty additional people onto the team, and then they came out with Avengers Assemble which was very continuity-light and featured a lot of MCU dynamics (like, Bruce being anyone the Avengers regularly hang out with, which was definitely not the case before the MCU). They added Coulson to the comics, too. And Nadia is definitely not the same as Hope, but, uh, her name means “hope” in Russian which is, as we say now, very sus.

Also the Infinity Stones are now Gems and their colors, I think, match the MCU.

In terms of specific changes to Tony and Steve’s comics:

The RT node was obviously clearly introduced because of the arc reactor, and I would bet that Zeke Stane was created because suddenly people cared about Obadiah Stane a lot more. (Am sort of surprised they didn’t decide to resurrect him, actually.) The comments from Marvel editorial in the letters column during Bendis’ IM run were explicitly clear about the fact that they were trying to make 616 Tony sound more like RDJ in terms of quippiness and general personality. There is at least one armor that is a straight-up port of MCU armor.

Coates’ current Cap run has brought Peggy Carter back to life -- she died several years ago -- made her young, and also not made her a blonde anymore. You know, so she looks more like MCU Peggy. (The hair color thing is particularly weird in light of the fact that Steve originally noticed Sharon specifically because she looked so much like Peggy.) You get a lot more comics putting Steve’s origin in Brooklyn (although this is not 100% consistent and never was) and also I read an entire miniseries that seemed to be under the impression that in 616 it was the Red Skull’s fault Steve got iced. (It was Baron Zemo.)

There are probably more but that’s all I can think of right now.

[mylordshesacactus]

Remnant Kennel Club: Team RWBY

Back on my bullshit again, y’all. This one was HARD. Ruby and Blake especially always really hard! But I think we’ve got it.

Ruby: Black-and-tan Rat Terrier. Just because they’re small, don’t think they won’t challenge a dragon to single combat the moment you turn your back for five goddamn seconds. They’ll probably win, too. Rat terriers are fearless, and are one of the terriers whose official breed standard explicitly states that “honorable scars” and broken teeth from battles with vermin are not faults and should never be penalized in the ring. Like any terrier, they’re incredibly smart, driven, focused dogs. They have crystal-clear focus--much to the chagrin of anyone trying to tell them what to do--and, while they bond closely with their families and were bred as well-rounded multi-purpose farm dogs that need to be trainable, a rat terrier knows its job. If you want it to do something other than its job, you’re going to have to give it a reason first. Alternatively, just pick it up and carry it away. It’s Ruby, she’s fucking tiny.

Weiss: American Spitz. Unfortunate name aside with my apologies, the breed itself is a perfect match for her. Non-sporting dogs mostly bred for companionship, they’re an American offshoot of German spitz dogs given their name during WWI due to owners wanting to avoid German associations. They have no relation to any sled or working dogs--rather, their breed history is of sturdy, weatherproof farm guardians. So, the American Spitz is aloof, wary, even occasionally openly distrustful of strangers--but they’re absurdly smart, deeply loyal, and their breed standard describes them as “practically inventing the phrase ‘eager to please’.” So, they’re a pretty, pure-white dog actively trying to distance themselves from a shameful name, not bred for work but with the brains and drive to learn any job they set their minds to...and at their core, they want nothing more than to love and be loved.

Blake: Belgian Sheepdog. Guys, Blake was so fucking hard, and I’m still not 100% sold on this one. (The fundamental problem here is that Blake is a cat, so finding her a canine equivalent is a doomed prospect.) The requirements were as follows: I needed an intelligent, stable, highly-driven black dog, selective with its friends but fiercely, unshakably loyal once that friendship has been secured. Bonuses if the breed has a natural protective instinct, leadership associations, and/or is a highly prized breed in a specific region/group but unknown or dismissed elsewhere. And...well, Belgians tick all those boxes. Plus, come on--they’re gorgeous, and you can see a little bit of Blake in there.

Yang: Particolor Standard Poodle. End of sentence. Poodles are extremely intelligent, hardy, adaptable dogs with a very stable temperament; but people take one look at them and go “dumb stuck-up bimbo dog” due to stereotypes. This isn’t helped by the poodle’s famous sense of humor; if you’ve already decided your dog is stupid, you’ll see foolishness rather than playfulness. Like any smart dog, they can get destructive when they’re bored, which also tends to lead to an unfair negative perception. As an additional sidenote, despite how common the pattern is, “parti” poodles are not accepted under the AKC breed standard (other breed clubs are much less weird about this, but RT is, after all, based out of Texas.) So, you won’t get a pedigreed poodle from a conformation bloodline who’s particolor. Sorry, Yang, but you were an oops-litter puppy!

[marmarparadoxa]

Concerning the Warriors - Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt

“You were still ignorant children...and all of that was beaten into you by ignorant adults. You were just a child. What could you have done to fight that? Your environment. Your history.”

Nowadays, we’re assisting at the global mass-genocide that is exterminating every living being on the planet. This genocide has been determined and chosen by Eren, a single man, out of his personal, adamant convinction that that is the only practicable path.

However, this is not the first time that we’re assisted at something like that. Right from the very start, the Colossus and the Armor Titan, opening a breach in the most external ring of walls in Paradis, led Pure Titans to enters the walls, which resulted in the slaughtering of tons of people living in Wall Maria area. After that, Paradis people faced a severe food crisis, resulting in a further thinning of their population. In other words, what Reiner, Bertolt and Annie have committed, in their mission to retaking the Founder Titan, could easily be described as a partial genocide of Paradis inhabitants. 

However, they were just children (precisely, they were about 11-12 y.o.). Even after discovering the truth about their identity, I don’t truly realized it until their mission was showed from Reiner pov, showing us Marcel’s death, and how they managed to reach the walls from the coast where they have been left by Marley’s army. 

Right from their childhood, they were raised in an oppressive environment, taught about the crimes of the past Eldian empire, led to hate the devils of the island, told that they were nothing like them.

They were trained to be perfect warriors, capable of perpetuating mass murder actions, not only against the devils of Paradis, but also against any other nations with whom Marley had the pleasure of going to war. And they did everything that they were asked to do. They attacked other nations, subdued their populations, increasing the power of Marley empire.

They were still ignorant children, raised and educated by ignorant adults. How could they have done otherwise, in such environmental conditions, given their history? And anyway, they were raised in such conditions, which would have prevented a full understanding of the meaning of their actions, of the cruelty of all the death they brought, right? How could they fight that?

The environment that surrounds you in your life, the “nurture” would affect who you’ll be. No one can escape that, we’re all subjected to this kind of influences, this is just the normalcy for every person. Moreover, that kind of influences is even stronger in your infancy, years when the environmental stimuli have a major impact of human subjects, both in cognitive, both in emotional terms. However, I think that speaking about a deterministic impact, one that would affect you leaving no room for personal thoughts, feelings and resistance, is grossly simplistic. And if we’re speaking about killing people, all in the name of your motherland, there’s no way one can simply cut things like that.

How could the warriors, even if still that young, agree to slaughter mass of people without giving it a thought, just because someone has told them that they’re devils, or that they are their enemies of war? How could someone do something like that without even try to oppose to that, or worse, thinking that all of that is right?

By choosing to become Warriors, and then managing to become one of them, they were allowed to lead a privileged life in Marley’s nation, they were able to improve their own social position and that of their families. We don’t know much about Bertoldt, but Reiner’s case shows us fully the self-serving range of the motivations that he had to do what he did. He never thought about improving the social standing of Eldian people to the eyes of the rest of the world, he has never had great aims in mind. He just wanted to bring happiness to his lonely mother, to live in an happy family. Mostly, he wanted to “save the world”, to be a hero, because he just wanted people to respect him.

And his mother did nothing but encouraged him in pursuing his mission, the mission that Marley has assigned to him. She always encouraged him to become a warrior, strongly believing in Marley’s ideology, and she cried with emotion and pride seeing his sons finally parading on the carriage with the other warriors, ready to go on a mission of genocide of their own contrymen devils on the other side of the sea. What a touching family scene.

And a similar thing has happened to Annie. Her adoptive father raised her forcing her to undergo a rigorous combat training, because he wanted for her to become a warrior, to improve their life conditions. However, he eventually changed his mind. Differently from Reiner’s mother, he recognized that he just wanted from his daughter to return back, and that nor being a warrior and the honors that ensued that, none of it mattered, but Annie coming back alive.

Hence, contrary to Reiner, she doesn’t disguised her motivation under the appearance of noble aspirations, like “becoming a hero” and “saving the world” from the devils.

“They’re all liars, every one of them!! They only ever think about themselves!! And I’m the same!! I need to get back alive!”

She didn’t give a shit about that stuff, she simply admitted the selfishness of her motives. When faced with their mission, she just did all of what was necessary in order to stay alive. She simply went with the flow, without trying to oppose herself against external forces.

Speaking to Marlowe, she also affirms that acting in that way is just what regular people do.

Therefore, she asks Marlowe to think of her just as human.

And then Bertholdt. He has never been the leader of the group, he has never taken the initiative. He has never given the impression of being convinced of the rightfulness of what they were doing, nevertheless, he still opened a breach in the wall, not only once, but twice, in Wall Maria and in Wall Rose. 

However, in RtS arc, these were his last thoughts before turning himself again into the Colossus titan:

“No one’s at fault here...Nothing could have made a difference. Not in a world that is this cruel.” 

So, they could have done nothing to avoid what they have done. They were forced to do all of that, by a so cruel world. There was no way to things to have been different, so no there’s no one to blame.

So, is that true? Is it reasonable to say that Reiner, Bertoldt and Annie acted just as regular people? They didn’t have the possibility to make a difference? Was it only environment and history, and their compelling forces, that obliged them to do what they did?

Of course, there’s no definitive, simple answer. They were actually just children, abandoned on an unknown island, just three kids with an incredible mission. They were raised in an envirnoment which led them to believe that the inhabitants of Paradis were devils, and no one ever contradicted this statement. However, they came to know that island, to know their inhabitants, still, they continued in their mission. In order to rule his sense of guilt, Reiner developed a dissociative disorder, splitting his personality and his memories. In that way, he manages to persevere in their mission, while still continuing to behave like a soldier.  Bertholdt and Annie, on the other hand, had to endure their sense of guilt, and somehow they continued to carry out their duty as warrior. They suffered as well. They had to go against their feelings, causing Marco’s death, in order to keep their secret.

Could they have done otherwise? Wasn’t it just environment and history in play?

I don’t think so. They chose every action that they did. They chose to kill Marco in order to preserve their lives, they chose to open a breach in the walls, causing the death of so many people, and they chose to betray their friends.  Whatever effect does your environment exerts on you, whatever flow tries to drag you, humans have still the possibility to choose (at least, this is what everyone who believes in free will thinks. Otherwise, we’re not more than deterministic machines). This is what defines the human nature, the possibility to choose according to your own judgement, and the responsibility that ensue. Hence, certainly the history, the environment determined the circumstances, but eventually it was just them, and their choices, along with their awful consequences.

Now, they’re fighting together with the Alliance. They have chosen to oppose to Eren, to the mass genocide that he’s perpetuating. It seems that there’s no possibility to fight him, that there’s no possibility to overcome such overwhelming power (according to Eren, the power of a predetermined history). But they have still chosen the most difficult path, the one of opposing to him, and they’re doing that by joining their forces with their prior enemies. They’re not forgetting their precedent sins, and there’s no way to atone for all of what they did. But now they are choosing what to fight for on their own. Now they’re going against history and environment.

[evil-slytherin-queen]

An Ending Pt.2 : A Beginning

part 1

Draco blinked back the tears pressing against his eyes as he walked up the few steps to Harry's front door. He used one of the posts on the porch to support himself and he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Then leave. You may return once you've decided to act like a Malfoy again, as of right now, you are not my son."

His father's words seemed to echo in his head over and over and over again. It had been mere hours since his father had...since Draco'd told him he loved Harry.

After leaving the manor in an almost trance like state, Draco had spent time wandering around a muggle park Harry took him to for one of their first dates.

He'd spent the better part of the day feeling empty and lifeless. No tears had made an appearance and he hadn't crumpled to the floor sobbing just yet, but he hadn't planned on feeling so worthless after telling his father everything either. Draco had mostly felt numb.

"Merlin."

Draco shut his eyes firmly, a few tears rolling down his face. The numbness had faded the second Harry's house came into view and his sadness came crashing down on him in waves. All he wanted to do was break down right there on the porch and fall apart.

But he had to stop. If Draco didn't stop now he knew he might never be able to put all the pieces back together. He needed to be strong because if he lost it now it meant his father won. And he couldn't let him win.

One shaky breath later and Draco found the courage to knock on the door. He could do this. It was fine.

Draco was instantly greeted with Mrs. Potter's glittering smile which only seemed to grow once her eyes landed on him.

"Draco, dear, how lovely to see you! I-"

He couldn't do this.

It wasn't fine.

A gut wrenching sob left his mouth and he would have collapsed if it hadn't been for Mrs. Potter. She wrapped an arm around him and pulled him inside the house.

"Oh my-Draco, sweetheart. What's the matter? What's happened?" Mrs. Potter cooed rubbing his back and tucking Draco's head under her chin.

Draco let out another earth shattering sob and wrapped his arms around her. He loved Harry's mother almost as much as he loved his own. And he really needed the physical comforts his family lacked. Everything hurt.

"It's alright, Draco. It's okay." She said stroking his hair and his back comfortingly. He felts like a child.

"James! Harry! Get in here!" She hollered and Draco wanted the floor to open up and devour him whole. He didn't want Harry to see this. Then he'd have to tell him what happened and Draco didn't want Harry to blame himself for this. And he knew he would. Harry was like that. Too good to be true.

Draco could hear the pounding feet of Mr. Potter and Harry coming down the stairs and the urge to hide himself into Mrs. Potters arms intensified. Harry didn't need to see him like this.

"What's- Draco? Bloody hell! Love, you okay? What's wrong? What happened? Merlin, please tell me he didn't hurt you."

Draco felt Harry pull him off of his mother, who released him and went to whisper about Draco to her husband. Despite not wanting Harry to worry or see him like this he didn't make a move to resist him.

Draco knew he probably looked like a disaster, eyes red and puffy, tears streaming down his face covered in pink splotches no doubt, but Harry looked at him like he was priceless, even now.

"Awe, love. It'll be alright, tell me what happened. Please?" Harry said holding Draco's face with soft hands. He sniffed a little and buried his face into Harry's neck. And he felt Harry's arms wrap around his waist holding him close.

"Just," Draco huffed angrily at the new wave of tears that streamed down his face, "Just hold me for a minute, Harry, please?"

He felt Harry's grip on him tighten as he brought Draco over towards the couch, not releasing him once. "Okay, alright. I've got you, love." Harry hummed sitting down with Draco pressed against his broad chest as he stroked his hair gently.

----

"You were right." Draco said tapping his fingers on the cup of tea Mrs. Potter had made him. Harry's parents had given them the living room to talk, but not before his mother managed to drown Draco in sweets, tea, and fuzzy blankets. That woman was heaven-sent.

Currently the pair was sat on the couch, Draco bundled in at least three blankets, his back leaning against the arm of the sofa with his legs in Harry's lap who sat directly across, facing him.

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. Draco usually loved it when he did that, but right now it just reminded him of the situation he was in.

"I didn't want to be right, love. I'm sorry."

Another silence passed over them as Draco stared off in a daze and Harry stroked his legs absentmindedly.

"You know, I didn't-I never thought he'd-"

Draco stopped again and sipped some of his tea. He hadn't been able to get more than a couple of words out before he felt choked up again. This was horrible.

"Do you remember fifth year?" Draco mumbled looking down at his lap. He could feel Harry's eyes on him as he tapped on his glass. Merlin, he never thought he'd tell anyone this.

"You don't have to-"

Draco looked up and caught Harry's eyes, stopping him short with his intense gaze.

"But I do. I never explained why I was such a prick for that entire year." He said taking a deep breath as he looked up at the ceiling. He could feel the tears pressing against his eyes already. He just wanted this to end!

"My father he- I was seeing Goldstein at the time and then I went away for a few weeks for 'family reasons'. Do you remember that?"

Harry nodded and gave his leg a reassuring squeeze which prompted Draco to continue despite his racing heart. He felt like he might throw up. He hadn't thought about Anthony Goldstein or that hell-forsaken month in a while.

"We weren't careful enough, Goldstein and I, and my father found out through one of his coworker's children. The bugger sent my father a photo of us snogging in the library." Draco let out a stilted laugh and shook his head. He sucked in a deep breath and set his cup down as Harry studied his face, which he pointedly ignored.

"It was ludicrous, really. Of course Goldstein's parents were informed, which didn't really amount to much considering they are in fact not bigots. But my father, being the awful man he is, took me out of school for a month because he thought I was confused, having a nervous break down, sick even." He said finally meeting Harry's eyes again. His green eyes snapped Draco back to reality and grounded him to the present. The words no longer held the flashes of memories they had before and Harry's face dulled the pang of pain a little.

"He thought he could fix me. Like I was broken Harry, or I'd caught some sort of disease! He spent a month drilling into my head exactly what was expected of me, an heir, a perfect little pure-blood bride for a wife." Draco said bitterly he face twisting in disgust. He still couldn't believe, after all of this, he still wanted his fathers love.

"You know what's worse is I genuinely thought he meant well by it all. By all the threats, the screaming, the hexes and curses, even the poor french girls he tried to throw at me." He snorted at just how wrong he'd been.

"Now look, the bloody bastards disowned me and I still love him," An abrupt sob escaped him as he twisted his hands into the pale blue blanket he had around him, "f-uck, Har-ry!"

Draco's body shook from the crying as he tried to suppress it all. He wished the numbness would come back. He felt stupid for crying. It was his own fault after all.

"Love," Harry murmured sadly as he reached out and gathered Draco into his lap. "I'm sorry, baby."

"Everyth-thing hur-rts." Draco cried as Harry held him with strong arms and rubbed his back. He didn't deserve this boy at all. Certainly not while he was such a blubbering mess.

"I know love, 's alright. I've got you, it's okay. You can cry, Draco, you're allowed to. I'm here." Harry said pressing a few kisses to his hair.

"You can stay here, and we'll figure it out, you know my parents love you. And he's your father and you are allowed to love him even if he is a complete wanker. Don't worry, love, we'll figure it out, I promise." Harry whispered and Draco curled his body into Harry's. He let the tears run down his face quietly and closed his eyes.

They stayed like that for a while. Draco's hands gripping onto Harry's shirt as he rocked the pair of them slowly, whispering sweet words to the blonde. The sweetness of it all made Draco want to cry more. He didn't know what he would do without Harry.

"I love you, Harry." He mumbled half asleep from all the exhausting emotions he'd gone through today.

"And I love you more, Draco."

[blacksunisvalid]

Analysis: Did the Death of Pyrhha raise the stakes?

I want to start this by saying that people who were smarter and more qualified than me have talked about other problems with the character of Pyrhha and the writing behind her, and also with other things like the Arkos dynamic. But this has been something I've been thinking about for a long time, and I wanted to ask the question in the title: Did Pyrhha dying really raise the stakes of the series? The answer after I've come to about this is no, it didn't, but we as an audience believed they had been. Let me sort of explain what I mean by this, and use some other series as an example.

When Pyrhha died, we knew very little about her. We knew she was an arena fighter and was one of the best of the best. We knew that this had left her to be mostly friendless, and wanted to be viewed as normal, based on her interactions with Jaune, we can tell she felt good that someone was seeing her as a person and not The Invincible Girl. And we know that Pyrhha is socially awkward, with her habit of apologizing for things that aren't her fault, and the sort of awkward way she would say ' Hello again.' But beyond that, anything for Pyrhha is a head-canon or a bit of a deeper reading of what's present. We didn't know if she had a family at the time, what her goals were at Beacon, and for the rest of her life. We know the above things, and that she liked Jaune. An important thing to note is for the most, we are told these things. We are told she doesn't really have friends, and we are told people put her on a pedestal. But we aren't shown this. This is less effective as we have no context for this.

I think a lot of people will agree that when characters die in fiction one of the saddest things is the fallout other characters go through as a result of their death emotionally. When I think of some of the saddest deaths in fiction, it's usually not the death itself, but the way people around them react. One of the best examples of this for several shows ( spoilers for all will be here, hence the spoiler tag) is the death of Maes Hughes from FMA and FMAB. Maes Hughes was a supporting character, but we knew a lot about him. He was Mustang's best friend, supportive of the Elric brothers, and a loving husband and father. We also know he was very supportive of Mustang's plan to advance and change the world once he had more power. Importantly, for the most part, these things are shown to us. We see Hughes on the phone gushing about his wife, we see Hughes showing tons of photos of his family. They didn't have to tell us ' Hughes cares about his daughter' because we knew that. And so when he died, it was devastating to the audience because we had to see how everyone reacted, and these were characters we knew also. Everything from Mustang crying and saying ' It's a terrible day for rain' to Hughes's daughter crying and asking ' Why they're putting dirt on daddy' at the funeral. These are characters who we cared about, and so seeing them in pain was awful to experience.

But with Pyrhha, we don't really have that. I forget the exact volume, 6 or 7 but even when seeing a redheaded woman talk to Jaune at Pyrhha's statue when they leave flowers, we don't know who that is. We don't know if that was her mother, her sister, an aunt, or just someone who had known Pyrhha. Everything about that ( unless RT has revealed on social media) is speculation, and while a good scene, it doesn't really solve the problem I mentioned above, we don't really know people like a family who would be the most affected by the death of Pyrrha.

Jaune and Ruby were both affected by the death of Pyrhha, with Jaune reforging his armor to be a tribute to her. But the problem is, at least to me that it doesn't feel deep enough. Using a different example, the death of Peter Parker in Infinity War. Some of the first words Tony says in Endgame are ' I lost the kid.' At first, Tony is not willing to risk his wife and child on the chance of bringing back everyone else, because he got incredibly lucky. We've seen the arc of Tony, and this, while maybe selfish is understandable, he's always made the sacrifice play, and so seeing him saying for once he won't is satisfying. But then he sees a picture he has with Peter. Trying to play it off as curiosity, he sees if he could actually invent time travel, and then he does. It's subtle, and it's not tossed in our face, but it's there that the death of Peter really affected Tony and played into his survivor's guilt.

One could say that Jaune wants to kill Cinder for what happened to Pyrhha, and that is a fair example of growth. Volume 1 Jaune probably couldn't fathom taking a life, and by Volume 5 he was trying to murder Cinder in the battle of Haven. But Ruby saw her die. And other than activating her silver eyes ( Another issue others have talked about is how she doesn't really wonder what the silver eyes are) I can't remember really her ever commenting on it. Contrast this with the death of Penny, which is some of the best voice acting the series has for Ruby.

Really small scenes could have helped a lot with this. Some of the examples of things I think could have helped-

When Jaune is calling out team attacks, he accidentally calls out Arkos or a move which relied on Pyrhha, only to realize she wasn't there, and there's a brief moment of silence as it sinks in all over again. ( Example: Shotaro from Kamen Rider W calling for Phillip in the last episode but Phillip wasn't there)

Jaune or someone else does a move in combat that Pyrhha had taught to them. Some of the others see it happening, and they briefly see Pyrhha with them. ( Example: Kakashi seeing Minato in front of him when Naruto performs the Rasenshuriken)

Let the characters talk fondly about Pyrhha with a sense of wistfulness. An example of this would be a difficult battle, and then after the battle, they say something like " If Pyrhha had been there with us, well that would have been easier." Tense silence, and then someone, maybe Jaune chuckles and agrees. It's okay to talk fondly about those who are no longer with us. ( Example: The Justice League cartoon when in an alternate world, Flash is dead and Green Lantern and Hawkgirl talk about him with playful annoyance.)

No one really talks about what her death means for them or how outclassed they seemingly are. An example of what I mean is in Kamen Rider Ex-Aid when a character named Kiriya, or Kamen Rider Lazer dies. The characters are told he died because he 'knew too much' and so a lot of time is spent in uncovering what it was he knew. It became a meme of sorts in the fandom about ' the real reason Kiriya died.' On top of that, the characters lament on how it's concerning that their enemy has a Level 10 form while the highest they can reach is Level 5 as an example.

Pyrrha's death and the fallout from it ultimately remind me of the Justice League movie. We're told the world misses Superman and is a worse place without him. But the DCU hadn't spent enough time building up a Superman the world at large would mourn for, or a Superman who did so much for the world that in his absence, things fell apart. I felt the same way with Pyrhha's death, we were told that it mattered more so than anything.

Now that I talked about what I feel is the emotional failure of the death of Pyrhha, I want to move into the other side of it, raising the stakes. Yes, killing a character is a great way to raise the stakes. It's the most lethal version of The Worf Effect (TVTropes some it up very well, basically a character we know to be strong losing to a new character to establish the new character is strong, IE Thanos beating the Hulk as Infinity War opens). But I feel that Pyrhha was not the right character to do for this for the following reasons

We don't really know strong she is. We are told she was a prodigy, but we are never really shown what that means. The only fights we see her in are CRDL, students at Beacon, and while she does beat them all, this is also the only extended fight we have for them, so we don't exactly know how difficult it would be to beat them. Mercury, but he threw the fight purposefully to get information on her, so we have no idea how they would have stacked up if they fought. ( I think she would win but still) Penny, which even if the fight ended in tragedy is the best possible matchup for her since her Semblance lets her control metal, and the fight which ultimately cost her life in Cinder. We knew Cinder had the power of half a Maiden and got the other from killing Pyrhha, but we don't really know what 'half a Maiden' amounts too because we don't know how strong Cinder was before becoming a Maiden, so it's impossible to say what the amp was. I'm not an expert power-scaler, but killing a character to show someone is strong works if we have a much better sense of how strong they were. The example of this is the death of Jiraiya against Pain in Naruto. We know how strong Jiraiya is as a member of the Three Sanin, which by the narrative would roughly put him on par with Tsunade, the head of the village at the time, and Orochimaru who had trained Sasuke. Jiraiya dying shows the audience that Pain is stronger than the current Hokage and protector of the village, and most of the cast. We never got to see Pyrhha sparring with RWBY or other members of JN_R to show how much stronger than them she is. If we had seen this, and then Cinder killed her anyways, it would have been much more d effective and plant a question in our mind: " How can the main cast hope to defeat Cinder?"

Killing Pyrhha wasn't really an objective for the villains, and it was more so good luck that happened along the way. Sure, Mercury gathers data on Pyrhha, but it seems like Cinder wanted to destroy Beacon more than get Pyrhha out of the way. Even the set up of Emerald making Pyrhha kill Penny amounts to nothing, as in the same volume, Pyrhha dies before the consequences of this can be addressed. Pyrrha was in the way of what Cinder wanted, and Cinder killed her which can be an effective set-up, but in my opinion, it's more effective if the villains have been planning specific things, like toppling a public figure like Pyrrha. In BNHA, people try to take out All-Might, and for good reason, he's seen as the Symbol of Peace. Small scenes could have built this up for Pyrhha also. After Mercury gets information on her, just have the villains make small statements about how she's in the way, and that they have to do something.

Pyrrha being chosen to be the Fall Maiden doesn't really make the most sense. From a set-up perspective, it does, the villain killing the hero before they can achieve a powerup, and said power-up is the hero's best hope. ( Examples of this being the Muteki form in Kamen Rider Ex-Aid) But we're not shown why Pyrhha was chosen. As I said above, because we don't really know how strong she is, it could have been Weiss, or Yang, or Blake, or Nora because we don't know what qualities she was chosen for. On top of that, both Glynda and Winter were there, and arguably more powerful than Pyrhha, and would have been better choices. The set-up for me just doesn't work, and so by extension to me, Pyrhha's death felt like they wanted her out of the way, and needed a reason.

This was an incredibly long-winded post, but I hope I was able to get my points across. What do you think?

[paircatsup01-blog]

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According to a March 2020 Seat study, 76% of Americans said they had never ever become aware of the QAnon motion. One in 5 people had actually heard "a little about it" while 3% said they heard "a lot." The conspiracy theory's targeting of George Soros and the Rothschild household has actually led Jewish-American in addition to to implicate it of including "striking anti-Semitic components" and "garden-variety rubbish with racist and anti-Semitic undertones".

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The Anti-Defamation League reported that while "the huge majority of QAnon-inspired conspiracy theories have absolutely nothing to do with anti-Semitism", "an impressionistic review" of QAnon tweets about Israel, Jews, Zionists, Rothschilds, and George Soros, "revealed some unpleasant examples" of antisemitism. Specialists have actually classified the appeal of QAnon as comparable to that of spiritual cults.

In the Web age, QAnon virtual neighborhoods have little "real life" connection with each other, however online, they can number in the 10s of thousands. Rachel Bernstein, a specialist on cults who concentrates on healing therapy, states that "What a motion such as QAnon has going for it, and why it will capture on like wildfire, is that it makes individuals feel linked to something crucial that other individuals don't yet understand about . - wwg1wga twitter..

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The cultish quality of QAnon has actually led some to identify it as a possible emerging spiritual motion. Travis View, a researcher who studies QAnon, states of it that it is as addicting as a computer game, and uses the "gamer" the enticing possibility of being included in something of world-historical significance.

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Though they usually discuss how Q frayed their relationships on private Facebook groups. But they believe these problems are short-lived and mostly the fault of others. They frequently comfort themselves by envisioning that there will be a moment of vindication at some point in the near future which will show their beliefs right.

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Some Q fans break away when they acknowledge the material of the theories is not self-consistent, or they see that some of the content is directly targeted at getting contributions from a specific audience, such as evangelical or conservative Christians. This then "breaks the spell" the conspiracies had more than them.

Disillusionment can also come from the failure of the theories' predictions. Q had forecasted Republican success in the 2018 US midterm elections, and claimed that Attorney General Jeff Sessions was included in secret work for Trump, with evident tensions between them a cover - wwg1wga pl. When Democrats made considerable gains and Trump fired Sessions, there was disillusionment among numerous in the Q neighborhood.

For some these failures began the process of separation from the QAnon cult, while others urged direct action in the type of an insurrection versus the federal government - wwg1wga twitter . Such an action to a stopped working prophecy is not unusual: apocalyptic cults such as Paradise's Gate, the People's Temple, the Manson Family, and Aum Shinrikyo resorted to mass suicide or mass murder when their expectations for revelations or the satisfaction of their prophecies did not happen.

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This phenomenon is being seen amongst some QAnon believers. Travis View echoes the concern that disillusioned QAnon believers might take matters into their own hands, as Pizzagate believer Edgar Maddison Welch performed in 2016, Matthew Phillip Wright did at Hoover Dam in 2018, and Anthony Comello performed in 2019 when he murdered Mafia manager Frank Cali, thinking himself to be under the protection of President Trump.

Kennedy Jr. fabricated his death and is now Q, stated in February 2019 that she was losing persistence in Trump to detain the expected members of the kid sex ring, recommending that the time was approaching for "vigilante justice." Other QAnon fans have embraced the Kennedy theory, asserting that a Pittsburgh man named Vincent Fusca is Kennedy in camouflage and would be Trump's 2020 running mate.

On November 26, 2017, President Donald Trump retweeted a tweet from Twitter account @MAGAPILL, a self-styled "main President Donald Trump accomplishment list" and a significant supporter of the conspiracy theory, less than a month after QAnon first began posting. On December 28, the Russian government- moneyed tv network RT aired a section discussing "QAnon revelations", describing the confidential poster as a "secret intelligence operative inside the Trump administration understood by QAnon".