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renren-006 · 2 days ago

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Doctors Magic | Lucius Verus x fem reader

plot: a doctor (previous gladiator) catches Lucius eye. A friendship forms and maybe more. Macranis is an envious man, an evil man.

warning: not historically accurate, violence, fluff, a littleangst

Word count (very long story): 6900 Words

a/n: Here is another story because this man is consuming my every waking moment! My friend said she would go see the movie with me again, and I'm excited about that. (I have to wait a few weeks tho) So until I can see my man on the big screen again, please enjoy my stories!! This is a really long one that took me a few days to finalise so please enjoy this long story!

Other Lucius Stories: Familiar Eyes Emperor Lucius

Ravi wandered into your makeshift home in one of the back cells of the gladiatorial pits. Your room was filled with a desk, a bed, and a closet. You didn't have much, but it was enough to feel like a home. You had no home of your own and no family now, so the cells became your refuge. After your own gladiator days and winning your freedom, you worked with Ravi and became a doctor.

A sheet hung over the cell door, along with a little sign saying “Welcome” or “Leave.” It was short, but it got through to the boys.

“I am telling you, more and more stubborn men in this place,” he said as he sat down. You turned from your desk, a book left open. “This new one, you would like him”

“Oh, would I?” you asked, facing towards the man who sat in your patient chair. “How do you know what I like?”

“I have eyes, femina. I see what you watch” he told you wiggling his finger at you, “and this one would make you…”

“I do not need you insinuating anything about my feelings, Ravi,” you told him. You got up from the chair and walked past him to the door. You peered out of your cell, which looked towards the training grounds. “Where?” Ravi got up and pointed towards the man. He was practicing his fighting against another gladiator, their swords crashing into one another.

“Am I right?” Ravi questioned, leaning slightly over their shoulder. You smiled up at the man, a brother of sorts to you now. “I…Maybe,” you told him, looking back at the brown-haired gladiator. “He looks troubled,” you noticed. This man looked as if he cared so much on his shoulders. The burdens of his past seeped into his being. Ravi nodded as he exited your tiny home, traveling back towards the gates where the other gladiators fresh out of the sun needed help. You took the morning off to be able to read a new book you had acquired. You watched the new gladiator fight from your door until he felt your eyes and turned to look at you. Dipping back into your room, you returned to your book before you made a fool of yourself by watching this man. Unfortunately, only so much could keep you attentive to your book as one of the boys traveled up to your door, another day of saving lives.

You knew most of the men who worked and played here. Macranis was one of these men, always trying to worm his way into your life. He had not been the one to bring you in, a champion. He was so irritated and jealous of his competitor that it was rumored he had the man killed and took the slaves he owned. This was a rumor, of course. You knew this man was trouble no less and kept him further than an arm's length away. The problem with your avoidance is his insistence that you join his gatherings and events and even watch the games alongside him. You couldn't avoid it even when Ravi offered to cover for you and say you were not feeling well and were under the doctor's orders to stay in bed.

That was where you sat that afternoon, watching the gladiatorial games beside Macranis in the emperor's box. Knowing you would be watching the boys get injured and be unable to treat them because of these obligations haunted you. You shifted uncomfortably in those lavish chairs.

“How nice of you to join us again y/n,” Geta spoke, “always nice to have a favored victor in our box”

“The pleasure is all mine. I am pleased to be able to sit here with your allowance, Emperor Caracalla and Geta,” you told them, sucking up to the emperors. They both looked at you with some form of hunger. You did your best to swallow your disgust down. Macranis's hand came into view as he put it onto your arm.

“I am thankful you allowed my request to have her join us,” Macranis said to them.

“For our friends, of course,” Caracalla said in a sing-song voice. You smiled, fakely, at the emperors and Macranis before focusing back on the game in front of you.

Just as you did, the new gladiator stepped out into the arena with a few others following. When he glanced up at the box and his eyes cast over everyone, they stopped when they landed on you. You both watched each other briefly before he looked back to the arena to see who he was fighting. The man atop the rhino left the gates, and you gasped slightly. As the fight continued and the gladiator continued winning, you could see him calculating his next move. As the rhino charged, he threw the gravel and rolled the other way. The gladiator on top of the rhino had no choice but to leave it and fight your gladiator on the ground.

“Mercy, Mercy,” shouts rose from the crowd; they did not wish to see him killed.

“Mercy,” you spoke, as did Lucilla. The woman's eyes met yours, and a small smile was placed there. She was a woman that many would underestimate, but you could tell she was the smartest one here. You smiled back at Marcus Aurellius' daughter.

“Your life has been spared,” Geta said to your gladiator. “I would sooner face your blade than be given Roman mercy,” he yelled back right before he killed the man in front of him and stumbled back down to the ground. You could see his wounds and knew you had to tend to them.

“I must take my leave; my boys need me,” you told the others. The General and his lovely wife, Lucilla, gave you a smile. Macranis, however, looked displeased.

“They will survive one more game without you,” he said matter-of-factly. You shook your head.

“After this last battle, I'm afraid I must insist,” you said as you rose, to which Macranis grabbed your arm.

“Then I will see you at my ball tonight,” Macranis implied. He had a way with words where they sounded like questions, but really, he wasn't asking.

“As you wish”

Back with the gladiators, you found your way to the gladiator's room. He sat there watching his arm bleed. When he noticed you had arrived, he stiffened.

“Come, I should fix that arm of yours,” you said, motioning for him to follow you back to your room. Hanno nodded and followed suit. He sat in the chair beside yours and propped his arm on the table. “You're going to want to take a big whiff of this; it's for the pain,” you told him while holding up a tiny dish with smoking opium. He only nodded and sniffed right before you put the needle into his arm.

“Damn woman,” he said to you, and you chuckled.

“I have heard worse,” you told him, “Tell me, gladiator, what is your name?” “Hanno,” he grunted, his teeth showing the pain he was in regardless of the opium flowing through him.

“Well, Hanno, I am y/n,” you told him, trying to make conversation while you stitched him up. You looked up to see Hanno nod at you in acknowledgment.

“Why were you with Macranis?” he asked you. You looked up to meet his eyes. His blue eyes were almost consumed by his pupils, high off the opium. He looked at you sweetly, swaying slightly in the chair.

“A request I couldn't afford to refuse,” you told him. Hanno was quiet after that, letting you finish stitching him up and tend to his other injuries. Once you were done, you sat back, seeing Hanno leave. “I look forward to seeing you fight again, Hanno,” you told him.

“I look forward to being in your care again,” he told you, that you were left alone in your room once again.

Macranis required you to join his party, and it was almost required after you left early from the games. You wore one of your more elegant dresses and headed for his estate. Once there, you made your way inside and saw the rest of the elite of Rome. You felt entirely out of place. Macaronis made it his job once he knew you had joined to keep you at his side. As the hours ticked by, you felt more and more ready to leave and return to the gladiators. Soon Macranis led you away and into a room out of wandering eyes.

“I should get going,” you told the man, hoping to avoid anything he was panning or even the conversation you were being brought into.

“Do you not wish to stay with me?” he asked smoothly. You felt your skin crawl at his words. You did not want to keep being alone with this man.

“As much as I enjoy your company, I need to go so I am ready for the games tomorrow and my job,” you told the man. He didn't like that answer. You began to get a bit worried, looking twords the doorway.

“Stay,” he commanded. You wanted to run as his hands clasped over your arms. He was too close, and you turned your head.

“I must leave,” you tried again. His only response was to grab your face and turn it to look at himself. As he got closer and closer to you, you decided to push him off you. Macranis stumbled back. “I said I must go,” you said again. As you turned to leave, Macranis grabbed your hand and pulled you back. His fist flew towards you. It rang through your skull, making you stumble. You haven't been punched well since you won your freedom. The slap that followed was harsh. He grabbed your face in his hands again.

“Next time I offer you a spot by my side, do not push me away,” he said, and he kissed your cheek, “I won't be as…kind about my violence next time.”

Once the man let go, you sprinted out the part, never making eye contact with anyone there, knowing your abrupt departure probably caused no one to turn.

You stumbled back into the gladiator's arena. Your dress was disorganized, your hair a mess, and you could feel the forming bruise deepening on your cheek. The cut on your lip made you wince, and you didn't even want to know how you looked. As you made your way past the training grounds, you could see Hanno, your gladiator, training. He looked at you as he heard the footsteps, and you could see you did not look well by the look in his eyes. You turn your head fast and quicken your pace to your cell. He followed.

“What happened?” he asked at your doorway. You had just sat on your bed when he rounded to your door. You didn't say anything, and I'm still unsure if your voice would work. The ability to put what happened into words was hard. Hanno came inside the room, closer to you now. “Who did this?” “Macranis,” you spoke lightly. Finally, finding your voice. You looked up at him, a wordless plea for him to sit beside you. Hanno came over to your bed, sitting gently next to you.

“I will kill him for you, if you wish,” he said; you laughed a little but winced slightly when your lips upturned. A small subtle joke to lighten the mood. The undertones of the offer hung in the air. “What shall I use to help?” he asked.

You motioned with your hand to the rag on your table, a small bowl of water and ointment you knew would help your lips from becoming infected. Hanoo gently did as instructed and cleaned your lip, cheek, and the cuts on your forehead. Once done, he put a small amount of ointment in your lip and a small torn piece of cloth to help it stay. You were grateful for his help.

“Thank you, Hanno,” you told him. He only nodded. You could hear the guards rounding up the others to get them into their cells. “As much as I enjoy your company, I'm afraid it is your bedtime.”

“That time again,” he told you getting up from next to you, “I will see you tomorrow, y/n”

“Sleep well Hanno”

The next day, you woke up to a bruised cheek, split lip, and a pounding headache. You dressed fast, set your hair up in a hairdo that wouldn't aggravate the headache, and headed out. YOu passed by the other gladiators and stopped by Ravis set up.

“You mind?” you asked him. Ravi looked up from his unpacking to rush over to you.

“y/n! What on the gods happened.” “I can not speak his name right now,” you said, glancing around at the guards. Ravi quickly understood, having known about Macranis and the rumors. Ravi motioned you to sit as he worked on your split lip. He stitched it up once and washed it to disinfect it. The bruise, however, couldn't be helped much. He put a light amount of bast to help, but that was all he could do.

“I am sorry for this,” he told you. You shook your head, knowing it was never his fault.

“Should have seen Hanno. Looked as if he wanted to rip the man's head off”

“He saw?”Ravi asked surprised. “He helped,” you told him simply. “Gladiator tending to his doctor, what an interesting turn of event.s”

“Did I not say you would like him” Ravi said. You chuckled and nodded your head. That day you didnt join Macranis inside the emperors box. You did not leave the grounds for many days, deciding keeping to be around the gladiators was safer than the world beyond those walls.

“Are you from Rome?” Hanno asked. You looked up twords the man. You had sat yourself outside by the training grounds. Another one of the books you remembered your father reading was in your hands. Hanno had walked over from where he was training to join you. As you looked twords the sky, you realized how the afternoon had slowly started to turn to night. Many of the other gladiators had already left.

“Yes,” you told him, “I used to live just outside of Rome.” “How did you end up here?” he asked curiously. “My father. He was not well-liked,” you told the man. Hanno sat next to you, obviously wanting to know more. “He was a political speaker, always talked about the good words of Marcus Aurelius and how our Rome should be as he speaks. It is as they say; his words were real until the moment they were talked about, and then it became a whisper once again.n” “What happened to him?” “He was killed. Right here at the coliseum, actually,” you told him. You remembered the moment he died, standing close to him on that gravel arena. Your father spoke no words at that moment but looked to the sky as he was killed. After that, you were instead sentenced to be a slave to the games. “I was forced into the games after that, and my mother was long dead before any of this.”

“Im sorry” he told you. The words of understanding, the pain inside that sorry. You knew Hanno had lost people, you knew he understood your feelings.

“You have lost people, so have I. I fought for years with his ideas in my mind, but with these new emperors and Macranis, I am not sure that the Rome Marcus Aurelius spoke about is achievable,” you told him, shutting the book in your hands. It wasn't like you had given up on your father's words, but you feared they started meaning less at some point. “I think it can be,” Hanno told you. “I hail from Numidia but was born here in Rome.” You met his eyes. He kept this to himself; you had not heard the others talking about where he was from. You were shocked he trusted you enough to tell you about his origins.

“You are Roman” you asked, the shock of his reval settling into your bones.

“Yes. I lived here during and after Marcus Aurelius” he told you. “I know those ideas”

“I guess his vision is not completely a whisper then” you told the man. Hanno nodded. “Would you tell me more about your home?”

Hanno and you traveled to his cell and talked for hours in hushed tones about his home, and you talked about yours. You recalled all the memories of your childhood home, the garden, the foundation, and the long walkway to get to your home. You talked about the way your father would always smell of parchment and how he had an entire room of Marcus Aurelius's words and writings inside, along with other political and philosophical ideals. Hanno asked many questions about your father and his ideals, and you told him everyone. The idea of a new Rome, a better Rome, was something even the two of you still hoped could exist. You, in turn, asked about his life in Numidia and what it was like there. He told you about his home and his late wife. You wanted to know more about his home but it was still a subject of sorrow for him. When the night became late, the two of you didn't stop talking. Instead, you curled in His small bed and continued till your eyes fell heavy.

Another day woke the world. You rose from Hanno's cot, and it was another long night of talking. It was starting to get to you during the day and you knew Hanno needed more sleep for his games. You rose from the side of the bed closest to the open room. Slipping out from under Hanno's arm, you slipped out of the cell and back to your room. Unfortunately, you were again required to join Macranis in the emperor's box. You had refused to see him for far too long that you knew there would be trouble if you didn't go. You wore the same pink dress you had whenever you sat there and strolled back out into the world. Macranis was already in the box when you joined him in the afternoon heat.

“The champion doctor” Get a spoke, “finally back in our box”

Macranis eyes met yours, and so did the Generals. That bruise and cut lip were still not fully healed.

“Take my seat y/n” General Acatious spoke, “I wish to sit a bit higher up today” You could feel the tension in your back left as you sat next to Lucilla, refusing to look twords the man next to Acacius.

“Afternoon, my lady,” you spoke to the woman. She smiled warmly at you.

“Welcome” she told you, “Now I finally have someone to gossip with” she told you, clearly doing her best to lighten the mood.

“I do enjoy a bit of gossip,” you told her, “The gladiators don't gossip much. I require some good Roman insite.” Lucilla smiled, enjoying your company already. You knew the woman had supported your father during his political activism, and she clearly remembered who you were. If only you were able to speak to her now about it all. Lucilla eyed you curiously. You smiled and shook your head. As the two of you continued to chat, Lucilla told you about the new elite women and wine companies opening up by the ports. Once it was Hanno's turn, your focus was more on the games, and Lucilla seemed to also be particularly interested. As you watched him walk out like he always does, a smile played on your lips. Hanno eyed you in the box and shifted them between you and Lucilla; he smiled and even took a moment to just look at you. You wish your heart was not pounding as hard as it was, but he had that effect on you. Lucilla gave you a knowing look.

“Your favorite?” she asked. You laughed a little.

“What gave it away?” you asked. She only smiled at that.

“He is a strong and capable one,” Lucilla remarked, almost as if she wanted to know what you thought.

“Hannos a good man,” you said to her. Lucilla looked…proud at your words. The games continued o,n and when Hanno won his game and was sent back under the arena, you took your leave. Lucilla bid you farewell, as well as General Acasius. Macranis only focus on the games, no mind to you. Worry built inside you at that. When you walked back down to the gladiators and that moment played in your mind, you almost missed the door to your room.

Macranis grew increasingly insistent on your attendance in the box and even at his parties. You had not gone, and even when you joined them in the box, Lucilla started making Gernal Acasius give his seat to you instead. You had not talked or spoken to the man in a few weeks.

“You seem worried today,” Hanno told you as he entered your room. You nodded your head at him.

“I have fought in those pits, and for some reason, Macranis scares me more than those men ever did,” you told him, “I do not want to go alone to that lavish party.”

“He is insisting again?” he asked shocked.

“It feels more than just insisting, almost like he thinks he can command me to go,” you told him. “I am sick of men telling me what to do.”

“Believe me, y/n, I understand,” Hanno told you, causing you to take a deep breath and calm down. He had a way of calming you down, even if his words were simple. “Do not go if you fear it; stay here and talk with me.” Hanno's pleading eyes were enough to almost make you say yes.

“I wish I could,” you told him. “I wish nothing more than to stay here with you, but I can not. This man, the power he holds here, it is worse if I do not go.”

“Take me” he said quickly. You looked at the man with shock.

“You must be mad!" you said with wide eyes. Hanno had to have lost his mind. “Take me; I will protect you,” He insisted, grabbing your hands. There had been a shift in Hanno since you started speaking and lying together at night. Those moments together left him wanting to be a different, better man. He says you and you saw him, and because of that, he tried to protect it.

“Taking you is too much, Hanno, that's asking for punishment not only for you but me too,” you told him. “I will go for a short time and be back before you know it”

While the party was lavish as ever, many of the roman elite were there again. Many more men and women were there from the pleasure houses for the gusts, too. Macranis spotted you immediately.

“My my y/n, you look wonderful tonight,” he told you. Bowing you kissed his hand as he extended it to you. A small prayer went out to the gods in favor of no violence happening. You smiled up at Macranis.

“Thank you for having me,” you told him, lying through your teeth. He only cooly smiled. He kept you by his side, and he talked with others. Then, with one group, they spoke of the games and the gladiators in them; Macranis smiled.

“Y/n” he said, “You have a soft spot for those gladiators, do you not?” “I…I treat their injuries, if that is what you mean?” You said to those around you. “You are the doctor?” One of the ladies asked with disgust, “How can you stand it?” “It is not all that bad,d,” you told them.

“She was a slave in the Colosseum,” Macranis said quickly, causing many eyes to fall on you, “She would not be disgusted by these men because she used to be one” “I…”

“You were a slave,” A mother spoke, the disbelief and disgust evident on their face and in their words. You wanted to shrink away or even yell at them that their opinions of slaves and gladiators were wrong. You could only look at the eyes of everyone and see their true feelings and judgment.

“Yes. Yes. She was quite fierce. Were you not?” you could only focus on the growing ringing in your ears. MAcranis laughed slightly and his arm cascaded over your shoulders. “It's no wonder she stays; she's got many men down there to satisfy her.”

“I do not,” you snarled. You looked at Macranis with a feeling you haven't felt since the arena. You wanted this man dead. “I am there to treat them with the respect they have earned.”

“Respect? Why would those lowly and traitorous men deserve respect?” He asked you. He had a motive here, to make you seem undesirable to the people around him and to remind you of your place. He was still pissed about not allowing his advances and your avoidance of him in the emperor's box. MAcranis was not a man to take lightly; he was dangerous.

“They deserve more respect than you do,” you told him, shoving his arm off yours and leaving his lavish palace.

When you retuned, you found a woman talking to Hanno. He saw you in the hallway before the woman did. Lucilla turned twords you, letting her veil sway as she did. She smiled at you before she turned back to Hanno and bid him a good buy.

“My dear y/n,” Lucilla spoke to you, “thank you.” Wonder flooded through you. Glancing back to Hanno, you saw him seated with his head in his hands.

“Is he okay?”

“I believe he will be. He will find a way to be with your help,” she told you. You were ever curious about why she was there and what her words meant. “I must be off. Oh, and dear, you better take care of that,” she said, pointing to the matchup you knew was running down your face. As you swiped it away, she was gone. Looking back you saw Hanno watching you, he motioned you to his cell. As the door was opened for you, he swallowed you in his arms.

“Are you alright?” he asked you. A small laugh escaped you.

“I could ask the same,” you told him as he realized you to look at your face. He brushed your cheek, spearing or clearing the rined makeup you were not sure.

“What did he do?” he asked, the intensity of his voice surrounding the room.

“I never realized how hard words could hurt,” you told him; another tear fell just at that. “I was there just to be humiliated,” you told Hanno.

“He is a dangerous man,” Hanno said; you nodded your head. “I..need to tell you something,” he spoke to you, leading you over to his bed.

“What is it?” you asked him. He looked as ifhe wanted to take back what he said.

“I have not been truthful with you,” He told you, “I'm more than just a Roman. My name is Lucius Verus Aurelius, and my grandfather was Marcus Aurelius.” You stared at him, unable to think of what to say next. You just nodded your head at him, eye contact never breaking. “I'm sorry I did not tell you before”

“Why are you sorry?” you asked suddenly, “Han-Lucius, you have a name, a history that holds such weight within Rome, of course you did not say anythin.g”

“I had not come to terms with who I was for a long time,” he said, “I did not want to be him, but I think it is time I remember who my family was. It is because of you I can accept it” “Lucius,” you said, sweetly saying his name as you held his face in your hands. “I did nothing. You had to concur that battle yourself.”

“I could not have done it without you,” he told you. Leaning into your hands. You wanted him close to you, your heart beat faster. “Thank you”

“I'm so glad I could help you,” you told him. “I…I know you are not ready…but if you tell your secrets, I should tell mine.” “If you wish,” he said, you dropped your hands into your own lap.

“I did not mean to fall for you, Lucius, but I have. I know your past and pain, and I do not wish to force anything onto you, but I think you should know my feelings,” you said, only looking up once you had finished. Lucius held an unreadable face. “I'm glad you told me about your origins. I will leave you for the night,” you said and got up. Lucius' hand found yours before you could leave. You glanced back at him, only for him to place his hand on your cheek and bring you close, kissing you sweetly. You almost lost your balance, but Lucius held you. When you broke,e and he looked at you, the smile in his eyes and lips made you understand.

“I do feel the same, but I am still a broken man,” he told you, “Would you be there with me to learn to love again?”

“For you? Anything” you told him. Lucius smiled and pulled you in for a hug.

That night, you lay in his arms as he recalled the memories he had as a child. He recalled the memories with his mother, his grandfather, and the man he admired, who was his father. You remembered Maximus, who set out to get revenge against Emperor Commodus. Here, his son lay after twenty years of being away from Rome, only to end up in the same games his father played in. Lucius was strong; you knew he was.

You were not told about the plot to de-throne the emperors until a few days later. Lucius returned from his naval battle after trying to kill General Acacius, only for his mother to go and tell him about her plans. Lucius felt terrible for letting his anger get the best of him and almost killing the man his mother clearly loved. He told you about their plans and how Macranis was slowly inching his way further and further into the emperor's minds. He was evil; you both knew it, but how much did the people know. You could always feel the tension between the people and the emperors, knowing they were close to rebelling.

It was a lovely afternoon when a few men came to take you to Lucius mothers home, Lucilla stood at the gate with a smile on her face. You embraced her and walked in together. As you two talked you could tell she wonderd how much you knew.

“They do not hold the people's hearts,” you told Lucilla casually. “One wrong move by the emperors, and I fear the people may result in madness.” You gave her a knowing look that, hidden within your words, were hits to cause something to get the people on their side.

“I fear that as well,” she told you. Lucilla was already aware of the people's disloyalty. She nodded her head twords you, understanding that Lucius had told you everything. “How is your gladiator?”

“Very well” you told her smiling, “he has a heart I havent even beguin to understand fully. I look forward to learning more”

Lucilla smiled, another knowing glance. She could see the blush on your cheeks and maybe also your red lips. There was a glow about you, something only Lucius could bring out.

“Lucilla. He makes me believe in Rome again,” you said to her. A vulnerable statement with no layers or undertones, a clear meaning anyone could understand. You did not wish to hide how her son made you feel or believe in a better future.

“You have truly helped him find himself then,” she said. “I always knew his father's heart was in him”

“He's got his mother smarts as well,” you told her, “and his grandfather's spirit.” Lucilla could feel your pride for her son. Lucius was a good man who had overcome so much in his life. Now that he was here in Rome you could believe that Rome could change and be better. Lucilla could sense this revelation and leaned back in her chair. The rest of the afternoon was spent gossiping and even talking of favorite tea flavors. It was evening when you arrived back at the gladiator's homes. You were not alone. The moment of capture happened so fast that you had no time to panic. You were unconscious before you even fell.

When you awoke, you were in a lavishly designed room. Around you were some chairs, a table, a small closet, and a window. You rise from the bed, realizing you are still wearing the pink dress you wore to meet Lucilla. As you walked over to the window, you looked out onto the Roman streets and noticed the Colosseum loomed close to the building. You were inside Macranis house. When those doors opened, the man himself walked through the doors. He smiled at you and clapped his ringed hands together.

“Welcome,” he said. You looked back outside before you glanced back.

“How long have I been here?” “Only a few hours,” he told you and walked over. “We have a spectacle to put on today, my lovely. Get changed, and I will escort you to the Colosseum.”

“What spectacle?” you asked.

“It will be your spectacle,” he said, “A spectacle for the people on what happens when you fool me.” As he left, you felt yourself fall to the ground. He had planned for your death since that first incident, and now he had his opportunity. You dressed in the lavish white gown he wanted you to wear, your hair was braided elegantly, and you were led out to the games. As you walked in, cuffs were put onto your hands.

The more you walked, the more you realized no one was on this side of the colosseum; you were going to the second entrance to the gravel pits. You stepped inside, and every memory that was housed here from your time came flooding back. You remember your fights, your rage and your ability. The ability to fight for survival had been lost to you, put away but now back.

“Passed famed gladiator y/n now here for her traitorous acts of not honoring an engagement and being with a slave gladiator, Hanno” the announced shouted twords the people of Rome. You could hear the disagreeing voices of the crowd. This was what a mass crowd looked like when angered. As you looked into the emperor's box, you saw Macranis smiling and the emperors watching with intrigue. Lucilla sat in her chair near them chaine,d and General Acatious was held similarly. Lucilla looked at you with fear for yourself and yourself. Understanding shone in your eyes; you were all here for one territory or another. Macranis had made your spectacle be first saving Lucillas and the generals for later on that day. You where calculating your odds when the doors opened. Lucius walked out but stopped once he saw you in the center. The guards around you were ready to close once he came closer. He walked slowly, never letting his eyes leave you.

“y/n…” he muttered, pain evident in how he spoke your name. He worried the whole knight over where you were.

“Wait,” you told him. You knew they would be listening, and you didn't need him being dragged into this. You were still thinking of how you were going to get out of here when a sword was thrown at your feet. You glanced twords the box as Geta stood.

“Gladiator, do your job and kill this…whore before you. She has betrayed a dear friend of the emperors and must be punished.” He spoke with conviction, sure of his words and actions. The crowd booed at them; some stood, and others stayed seated, speaking their minds. Lucilla looked twords you; maybe she could also sense the emperors losing their support. The emperors were oblivious to the rising hatred. You looked back at Lucius, hoping he could see the rage in your eyes. You wanted to show these people that they could fight against the emperors against the people who oppressed them.

You crouched and gathered your sword and locked eyes with Lucious. You moved your hands so the chains clanked against one another, and Lucious's eyes grew. Good, he knew what to do. Lucius raised his sword, showing his acceptance of the game. He charged at you, and in the last moment, you opened your arms till the chains pulled against one another, and Lucius' sword swung down, breaking them. The guards around you readied their swords.

“Seems I get to see you in action now” Lucius said with a smirk.

“Ready to see what a champion looks like?” you asked smuggly, turning around and becoming flush with Lucious own back as you wathed the wtow sides of the arena.

“You ready?” he asked. “As I'll ever be”

The guard charged, and you danced with them. Your sword flew through the air, your enemies falling prey to the sharp edges. The dress you wore flowed with you, you were the waves against the italian shore flowing with power and grace. The cuffs and loose chains rattled against your arm and sword as you spun, making your ears ring. Blood now stained that white gown and you hardly cared. Your hair slowly came loose from those braids, and you felt the same feelings you had all those years ago. You had been free for three years, and here you were back where you started fighting for your life, which was exhilarating. You missed the way your blood pumped and your sword cut. You missed the way a sword felt in your hand, like the perfect extension. When you spun around and realized too soon all your enemies lay dead on the collosium floor, you breathed slow and deep. You soaked it all in, letting the sun warm your face. It was exciting when you looked behind you and found Lucius turning to face you. You both had slain the men put here to guard and potentially kill you. When you looked up at the box and saw Macranis with a crestfallen face, you knew you had one last thing to accomplish. As you looked around, you saw one of the men with a knife strapped to his side. You stormed over twords him, dropping your blade with a clatter and ripping the knife out of its sheath. Lucius was by your sid,e instantly taking the knife from you.

“Lucius” you said daringly. He only smiled.

“Allow me the honors” he said, “I said I would kill him for you and that is what I intend to do.”

You watched as the man before you somehow found a way into the emperor's box, walking past everyone there and right to Macranis, who had no time to fight before the knife was plunged deep into his heart. There were words whispered by Lucious into Macranis's ear, only for him to know. The look that befell Macranis's face told you that whatever words had been said had killed him more than that knife had.

“Guards” Geta yelled, but no one came. As you looked at the crowd, you realized why. There, the people took up their own arms and fought against the soldiers stationed there. Your intended execution had caused the people to realize their low place in this Roman world, and now they were doing their best to take it back. As Geta and Caracalla left the coliseum, you knew their lives would be ended shortly.

Lucious stood out on the hill looking down twords Rome. You wandered over from your farmhouse and hugged the man, sliding to his side.

“You overthink,” you told him. He laughed before looking down at yo,u pulling you closer to his side. It was a wordless encounter, knowing only you knew him and his soul now. Lucilla and Acacius were alive and back in their home in Rome, leaving you and Lucius to move out to the countryside. You preferred this life, a quiet one, compared to your formal living arrangement. You still worked as a doctor, tending to some of the locals and Lucius when he got nipped by the chickens. It became well known that they preferred you to him. You relaxed in Lucius arms, this was what your father had been talking about. Peace and steadyness in Rome. You could feel it, like Rome had been holding her breath for so long, and now she had let go. The people of Rome were treated better now, in the hands of the people for the people.

“I guess his dream was not a whisper after all,” Lucius said. “Our fathers will now be at peace”

#lucius verus x reader #lucius verus x you #lucius versus x reader #lucius verus #gladiator movie #gladiator 2 #gladiator ii #gladiator x reader #paul mescal

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reidingandallthat · 1 day ago

Text

cranberry juice

spencer isn't sure what to do in his days of addiction but there's one familiar stranger that's present to help him forget, if only for one night, or maybe more.

words: 3.6k spencer reid x undercover!reader tags: well, dilaudid addiction, dark inner thoughts, nausea, mentions of withdrawal symptoms, alcohol, talks of a bar that's commonplace for criminals ig lmao, all for the plot, metaphors using space time continuum, some other nerd talk, yk the usual. reader is supposed to be an undercover agent, but here there's not much mention of it because this is very heavily spencer's pov. very much apologize if there's any inaccuracies with anything.

a/n: EXTREMELY nervous to post this hahaha. this comes from that one post i made, and i have too many ideas for undercover!reader if this even works out, this is purely to quench my need for this idea to happen.

The music in the club- though Spencer thinks it deserves a more modest name- was soft and slow, almost jazz, as the only couple on the dance floor clung to each other, swaying slightly to the music, the other part of the club which isn't so quiet is riddled with people surrounding tables and gambling rich men. It's not a common sight to see him drinking, less so to see him slurring through his words as he orders another one. His head hung low, leaning on the bar on his elbow, his eyes barely opening, a blinding headache obstructing his vision and line of thoughts. Possibly why he was out drinking.

The bartender gives him a look, obviously sensing that this isn't a common occurrence for the gentleman in front of her, but she obliges.

“If you wanted to get shit-faced drunk, this ain't the place for it,” She says in quiet contempt as she slides the glass over to him, but wears a smile as she composes herself again.

Spencer already knew that, but this was where his car had taken him, and he really didn't wanna be home.

Truth was, Spencer hadn't had much to drink, all his symptoms were of withdrawal.

Insomnia, dilated pupils, nausea, lightheadedness etc etc. he could list a few more. Spencer laughs as all the things he has read about addiction appear like check marks in his brain. None of the papers ever tell how agonizing it is to just exist, how the drug becomes the only thing you need, but the only thing you also don't want. How it feels to want to rip away your own skin, to bash your head against a wall until you feel the familiar pinch of the needle being injected.

He should have known this would happen.

When the hours of the night felt too long he thought of driving away, maybe his home was the problem. It reminded him too much of that night. Even in the car he felt like he needed to be out, his thoughts immediately thinking where he could get a dose, how he needed to buy another empty injection, he's used the other one more than twice. He should have known it was his own brain, the one thing he can never escape, it's always been too ahead of him, too fast.

He should have known the need would not go away just because he's away, the goosebumps, the torture would not stop, that he would need something to satiate himself. Even the warnings of driving while under the influence wasn't enough to stop him.

So here he was, barely aware of where he was walking in, sitting on a chair, his head down, pressed to the wooden table. It's his second drink (that he isn't even halfway through), but sleep hasn't greeted him.

Spencer thinks of things to distract him, entropy, a measure of disorderliness of a system and he wonders how much he would measure on that scale. The world is leaning towards entropy every day, and maybe his callousness today has contributed to that metric, however illogical that thought might be.

It's when he feels the air surrounding him change when he thinks of gravity. Gravity isn't a force, according to Einstein, something people always find fascinating when he randomly rambles about it. It's a “force” caused by the curvature in space time, this is where he loses most people, often ending with someone stopping him as he tries to explain what is a space time continuum.

He lifts his head to see a blurry figure, his eyes adjusting to the light. He'd been sitting in a corner so as to not be noticed, so he's sure his company knows they're not welcome.

But he's suddenly unsure about his previous claim when he sees you, your head looking at him sideways, chin resting on your shoulder, your body turned towards the bar. You have a curious look on your face, but if he's being honest, it's more amused than concerned.

“Tough night?” You ask, averting your head towards the bar as the bartender comes over to ask your order, a smirk on her face as if she knows something he doesn't.

“What's your poison?” You ask again as you hand tell the bartender your order quietly enough that he can't make it out.

Spencer doesn't bother to answer, his brain too foggy to be polite, his tongue too heavy to retort.

“Oh, c’mon, talk to me. I'm bored.”

You say again, the amusement laced through every word which makes him more annoyed.

“Please.” He mutters, not feeling the need to clarify his request, he has no interest in putting up an act with a stranger, it's hard enough to socialise when he's sober, this is hell.

You don't budge, though he feels the glass he's been clutching lightly being taken from his hands. That catches his attention.

He sits up, head still heavy as his eyes squint to let his pupils contract, light dilates your pupils to let as much light as it can into your eyes when there's darkness, a fact running through his brain, a common occurrence.

The glass is returned to his hand, well, another glass but it holds a clear liquid. He takes a sip and grimaces, it's water.

Drink the water, alcohol dehydrates you-

He pushes the water away, not keen on listening to himself anymore.

“What's your problem with water?” The stranger asks again, and he hates it. Her voice is nice, too nice for his self- destructive mind right now, and he wants her gone.

“What's your problem in general?” He snaps as he takes the water and gulps it down and extends it again for a refill. He's not very aware of his decisions tonight.

From his periphery, he thinks he sees you smirk, taking a bite out of the cherry in your drink, hiding it as much as you can. He can't tell why the action seems familiar, but it is.

The bartender and you share a look as she takes the shorter whiskey glass and exchanges it with a tall glass of water, and leaves to attend to the other customers.

He thinks of starting a conversation, but he glances at you again and hides another frown. You were pretty, he thinks, and he hides a frown. The day I choose to wallow in my sadness.

“I didn't know they let pretty people in here.” You speak again, addressing him directly as you drink from a straw. He notices the drink to be magenta, too similar to cranberry juice. She's not drinking, he notes.

He frowns at your comment, genuinely confused, for two reasons. Firstly, he looks like hell, he knows that. Eyes bagged into his sockets, his clothes unwashed for days. And secondly,

“How would you be here then?” He asks, his head tilted in confusion.

You're caught off guard, though he can't seem to figure out why.

There's no hint of teasing, or amusement in his question, and it feels like a stab in the gut (in the best way possible) when you realise it,

“I can't figure out whether or not you're flirting or you just genuinely asked me that. And I don't know which would be better for my mental health.”

He's confused again, “How would my flirting affect your mental health?” He asks and he hears a laugh.

Again, it's a nice sound and he hates it. He hates that it's nice.

“Oh, you're adorable.” You say, your hand reaching up to remove a piece of hair hanging over his eyes. He doesn't move away, he usually would, but his actions are a bit delayed and before he can register it, you're getting up and leaving.

He discovers he's disappointed, which surprises him. He hadn't spoken much to you, maybe that's why. Or maybe he liked nice, even in the midst of his self loathing spiral.

He's turning away to call to the bartender again, to bring him a glass of- who knows what.

He might know all about alcohol, how they're made, their advantages, and disadvantages but he doesn't have much experience with many of them. Nor is he familiar with any of the names. What even is there in a Daiquiri?

But he feels that same dip in his space again, space time continuum, and he looks to see you there again, holding now what looks to just be an orange liquid in a martini glass.

“First cranberry, now orange. You do know you're in a bar?” He retorts with too much sass than he would usually, but he sensed you welcome the spar.

“What am I supposed to do? Take body shots off of you or drown myself in my own misery?” You say casually and it makes him want to laugh a little.

“Not off of me.” He mumbles, taking another sip of his lukewarm water, though he didn't complain. He can hear Morgan say, “Oh, you've got jokes now?”

“Too many germs?” He only nods and continues drinking his water when he jumps at a sudden loud sipping noise, he sees the orange liquid coming to an end in your glass as you sip loudly through the straw.

He composes himself and answers properly, some semblance of manners peeking through,

“Not particularly off of me. Buy you shouldn't do that off of anybody. Did you know kissing is more sanitary than handshakes?”

He asks and you have that incredulous look again, followed by an amused one,

“I can't tell again. If you're just talking or flirting.”

He frowns, “No, well- I just told you something factual.” Another sip.

You laugh again and he leans in slightly, not consciously, trying to get closer to the sound.

“You're a rare breed, Mr….” The sentence hangs as a question, you're asking his name.

He's suddenly aware again of his surroundings. He's at an unknown place, and if he's a good profiler he knows this isn't an honest bar. Not that the neighborhood was known for its safety.

He stays quiet but you quickly say, “That's alright. You don't tell me, I don't tell you.”

The bartender is back again, now pouring a yellow liquid into your martini glass and he must not have realised he was looking so intently because the bartender raises her eyebrows at him, as if asking if he wants some too. He nods, quite shyly, and brings his glass forward.

He takes a sip, mango.

“But you shouldn't come in here with that gun so,” you gesture, “up front in here. You're an outsider, and you look like hell. No offense.”

He glances down at his holster and sees the gun, and thinks back to when Penelope had said,

“It's like they gave Bambi a gun. Said with love, of course.”

He knew it was said with love, but the feeling felt more pronounced as you gave your warnings.

“They don't like cops here?” he asks, fully aware he would never actually introduce himself as one, but he thought the title to be hidden enough for the place he was in.

“So he reveals his profession, I wonder what’s next…” another exaggerated sip, this time he laughs, getting familiar with the strangers’ antics.

He thinks back to why he's here in the first place as his conscious mind slowly comes back. Spencer had felt the urge again, he was angry at himself. Genius with an eidetic memory, and a few molecules of a carbon compound take over him. He threw the vial on the couch, still too afraid to break the bottle, and stormed out of the house. It was as if he knew he should come here, the bar was not on his way to work, or on his usual roads. But he was still here, and he felt too comfortable for this to be his first time here.

He retches over nothing and immediately sees a bucket being handed to him, and the feeling of mortification washes over him.

“I've been here before, haven't I?” He asks before retching into the bucket again, throwing up the mango juice he had just drank. More shame and guilt accompany his embarrassment but his head hurts too much for him to get up.

“It's good you chose the corner,” he only now registers your hand on his shoulder, rubbing circles to provide comfort, and it is comforting.

“We've met before, yesterday?” he asks again, and she smiles.

“It's alright. It was a short visit. I only asked you your name and you well… you don't need to know. We went to the nearby park. I got you an uber home.” she laughs and this time he does say it,

“It's nice. Your laugh. You have a nice laugh.” his head is hung low, thinking over his circumstances.

He didn't see your reaction, but he wasn't too eager to know anyway.

You were pretty, he was too aware of that, he likes your laugh and the first two times you've met him, he was once too out of it, and the second time he threw up. Great.

“I'm really sorry to inconvenience you, I didn't mean to bother you. I'm sorry-”

“No, no- thats alright. Its good to have some entertainment. I just feel bored here.”

This time he laughs, “Me throwing up is entertainment for you?”

“Tch. you really are bad at this flirting thing.” Her lips curl into a smile, and he returns the gesture as much as he can.

Spencer excuses himself to the washroom to clean up, and god it is not a sight to see.

He thinks back to your previous comment, didnt know they let pretty people in here.

They do let them in, but that wouldnt be a problem for him today. He washes his face, another wave of nausea passing through and he tries to think of things that would distract him.

Space time continuum, more commonly known as space-time, the mathematical model where three dimensions of space and one dimension of time fuse together to make a four dimensional model. Large masses, like earth bend space time, “gravity” is felt strongest when spacetime is curved the most. There's no force of gravity, matter tells spacetime how to curve, and curved space time leads matter to an end point.

Two people could walk the same distance in parallel lines with no intention of ever seeing each other, to just follow a straight path, but the curved space time will cause their meet. It's inevitable.

You sit cross legged, well- your ankle resting on the other thigh as you scribble away on a lone piece of paper, and Spencer recognises it as a crossword as he takes the seat next to you. You're not at the bar anymore, you've moved to a booth. He had come by to say good-bye, but he couldn't help but comment,

“adjudge, across 10 will be deem.” He says and for the first time, he sees a questionable look, you don't say anything and just hand the puzzle back to him and say,

“I'll time you.”

Spencer wasn't one to boast about his intelligence, but at the moment, he felt like the cockiest bastard in town.

Halfway through the puzzle, his mind coming up with answers faster than he can write them, he hears a quiet ‘what the fuck’ being muttered right next to him and he chuckles. He pushes his pen down hard enough to make a sound against the wooden table as he finishes the last word and slides the paper to you.

The look on your face is laughable, so he does laugh, after god knows how long.

You take the paper and check it over and after a few minutes you look over at him again and he's laughing again.

“What the fuck?” you ask, but you don't give him time to answer through his giggles,”Dude, it's been like 7 minutes. that one took me 25 minutes.” You look back at the paper again, as if that would quest your curiosity, “and I thought I was fast.” You lean back, your mouth still open in surprise.

“25 minutes isn't bad, pretty quick for this puzzle. Don't judge yourself by my standard, I have an eidetic memory. Sorry.”

“No, no. Never be sorry for being too smart. Atleast you're not a dick about it.” You thank the bartender as she gives you yet another drink, this time it's pink.

“I’d say what I just did was a dick move, I was flaunting.” He reasons as he observes your drink for a second,

“No, what you did was cool. As annoyed as I am about it.” You defend him, and take a look at your watch.

“People are usually just annoyed. I haven't been described as cool by many people,” he takes a pause, “actually by no one.” Spencer notices your actions and senses some suspicion, but he shakes it off. You must have ordered again when he wasn't paying attention.

“I'd beg to differ,” you take a sip of your drink and say, “I have more if you have time…” The end of the sentence was meant as a question and Spencer nodded his head. He has three weeks worth of personal time. All he has now is time. you rummage through your bag for more unfinished crossword puzzles. Most of them are 90% done, just two or three empty spaces.

“Chemist lab equipment, 10 words. That's easy, you can do that.” He points out,

“I've tried!! I literally can't figure it out. The only clue I have is that there's an e in it. A vowel.”

“Think about it.” He pushes.

“I asked for your help.” You complain but he still doesn't relent,

“I am helping!” He snaps back but quickly says, “Alright, I'll give you a clue, it starts with a C.”

Your head tilts as you go into deep thought and Spencer suppresses a chuckle when he sees recognition pass over your face,

“Centrifuge?” You ask tentatively,

“YES!” He claps his hand and you both laugh again and this goes on for a while.

You ask him answers to empty crossword clues and he gives you a few more hints to get it right. There were some that even he couldn't figure out quickly, which were met with teasing from your end. He welcomed it, he was used to friendly teasing, he worked with Morgan for god's sake. A significant amount of time must have passed because you glanced at the clock again and this time, the same cranberry drink was in your hands and he couldn't help but ask,

“Why are you drinking so many juices?”

“We’re in a bar, genius. You're the weird one who's not drinking.”

“I was drinking. You stopped me.” You did stop him. And you didn't once ask him what was going on with him. No concerned questions, no I can help you.

“No, you were drowning in your misery.” And as if you could read his mind, “And I don't think you'd appreciate alcohol addiction too.”

Too.

Spencer couldn't understand why you weren't telling him that he should stop, that what he's doing is wrong, why you weren't warning him or shaming him but you speak up again,

“I assume you came here for a reprieve. I don't need to know the specifics to figure it out. Though you shouldn't use alcohol for your reprieves. Not a good alternative.”

You shake your head in mock disappointment, and take another exaggerated sip. Spencer notes that you do that whenever you're worried you won't get a response, as a way to fill the silence. Profiler.

“What do you suggest? Juice?” He asks, gesturing to your glass and you laugh again, and he again thinks it's nice. But this time he doesn't say it out loud.

“So, what other things are you annoyingly good at?” You ask and he lists out too many things in his head, things people tell him he's the expert at. He doesn't agree with them all the time, but there is one thing he knows he's good at.

“Chess” He answers.

You chuckle, “Figures.” You think this is probably the fifth time he's missed the cue of flirting but then you rethink how this is probably how he flirts, or just talks. Genuine earnestness. No twisted words to mask his intentions and a strange warmth fills your chest.

Maybe a little company for a while everyday won't hurt.

“So, same time tomorrow?” You ask as you gather your things above the table and put them in your bag and he's startled by the question to answer it immediately. But he registers it and says,

“Uhh, for what? Chess?”

“Yes. You're gonna teach me. Because right now, I have to go.” You say hurriedly and pat his cheek before leaving and he thinks of all the things he had to say

I don't know if I'll be here tomorrow.

Where would we find a chess set?

What if he's too out of it to make it here?

What should he wear?

He doesn't even know what time it was.

What's your name?

How would I find you?

Gravity, Spencer thinks.

All those questions are unanswered as you become impossible to find in the nearly empty bar, but he thinks

I'll ask later.

Same time, tomorrow.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x undercover!reader #ig we're doing this #im like legit nervous

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feral-renaissance-cat · 13 hours ago

Text

Having come from a small church town that gets reeeal ugly when you look past the "We're all good neighbors who live good lives :)" facade, I can see the vision here.

Cozy Witch thinks to herself "Hmm, in every cozy mystery there's usually a convenient clue with exposition in the trash somewhere" so there's a game mechanic where you can peek in trash cans and dumpsters but she finds things like crumpled up drafts of suicide notes, or letters from the bank with a final warning about all their overdrawn accounts, or empty prescription bottles for anti-depressants and antipsychotics. She could use these to better understand the struggles of her neighbors and maybe reach out to them to offer emotional support, but haha nope nothing about where the cat went in here, better keep looking. (And she's not qualified to help people with problems like that so what could she do anyway that wouldn't possibly make things worse? They seem happy when she waves at them during her visits to town so they must have it under control anyway. She'll cast a little spell to make more flowers in their garden and that ought to cheer them up.)

Cozy Witch sees a little boy sitting on his back doorstop looking sad. "Aha," she tells herself. "He must be sad because the nice kitty he saw ran away. I can ask him which way it went." Turns out the boy is sad because one of his parents drank too much "grown-up juice" and now they're too sleepy and angry to play with him. She could take him with her on her adventure or at least spend some time with him, but ohhh welllll if his parent comes out looking for him they might be worried about where he went, so best of luck kid but there's still a missing cat out there. (She has heard about how violent alcoholics can get and if they get angry with her for doing anything with their son without permission they might hurt her. Except no, that person runs the charming little bookshop, they would never hurt anyone. She doesn't want them getting upset either way, and doesn't want to find out what they're like when they drink. She'll come back later and bring them some muffins or cookies or something the boy will like.)

Cozy Witch comes to the forest on the other side of town, which of course is where a cat would go to hide. She hears people talking and goes to see if they have any information about where her cat might be. As she gets closer she hears it's actually a small gang who have dragged the local Minority Character out here to rough them up and remind them that You Don't Belong Here Because You're Different. She has a few spell options that could break this up, but it's not her business and besides all this noise would have scared her cat away so she should look somewhere else, far enough away where she can't hear Minority Character's pleas for mercy. (And frankly she sort of agrees that Minority Character would be happier if they moved away because they don't fit in at all and no one would have to get mad if everyone just Fit In.)

Cozy Witch eventually finds her cat playing with the dead body of an endangered bird that it very clearly killed. Earlier in the game there were posters throughout town saying that this bird is a protected species and here's a list of ways you can help the conservation efforts, which includes not letting your pets roam free outside. She dismissed those by telling herself that her cat is different and she keeps it well-fed so it shouldn't have any reason to kill birds. She's a witch after all, and it's her job to protect all living things, which is why she's vegetarian and keeps her cat on a vegetarian diet as well. She gives her cat a talking-to on their way back to her cottage, and that should settle the matter. (Her cat might not have even killed that bird. Maybe it saw a hawk attacking the bird and tried to intervene but it was too late. Maybe it died of natural causes and when her cat found the body it thought that was one of its feather toys. She taught her cat to be nice and not even scratch the furniture so it's just so very unlikely that her cat would kill anything.)

These are all basic examples but it's almost 4am and I'm too tired for deeper nuances

i could not be trusted to make this game because my immediate thought is that the game advertises and markets itself as what op intended but steadily and then rapidly becomes very clear that instead of a cozy cute cottagecore "mystery" the story SHOULD be about the blatant corruption, cruelty, systemic oppression, and persecution and bigotry of her neighbors, but the main character is desperately clinging to the original genre of omg cozy cute and cottagecore because she feels overwhelmed by the potential responsibility to enact meaningful change rather than feel-good aesthetic positivity, thus becoming actively complicit in the town's crimes through her not mere inaction but in fact conscious choice to decide that she will be the protagonist of a cozy cute genre game rather than a story which might challenge her preconceptions of the world and the state of her own community.

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weepingtalecowboy · 1 day ago

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Why are we even making fierce deity special when legend exists

Fanfic prompt:

You know what in comparison to like the canon gods we met fierce deity is just a 6,3 dude with a big unpractical sword and that’s it

Like that’s literally it the beams it can shoot legend was capable of shoot as young as link to the past lol

Four can shoot beams in four swords adventures

Sky has his beam fancy and called a skyward strike

And in triforce heroes legend has a legit cosplay that guess what …can shoot beams

We don’t need to make the fierce deity feel special because it really really isn’t lol

The windfish can create a whole island on a whim and we know that marin at the very least exists so that cannot just be a dream

Because she is chilling in hyrule warriors very much real looking in my opinion

Fierce deity can’t do that from what I saw of it

Fierce deity just a rat in comparison

Honestly would be hilarious if time was worried about the deity until he realized that the deity is his least worrying problem next to legend

Legend clowned on the deity,…

Just saying the den of trials is not the hardest dungeon he had to deal with

Honestly now that I think about it

Legend might actually be a deity

Like death is no problem because you die in cadence of Hyrule for upgrades and with barely any consequences… like at all

He can shoot beams (which seems to be all you need to be a deity nowadays)

Eats ganon for lunch every other week (or adventure)

Has the fierce deity outfit from an actual trial in hytopia

Interacted with …the windfish and has the ability to wake a god,… and build dungeons in its dream

Saved din and Nayru in the oracle games (farore was there as an easter egg)

Fought onox a non ganondorf evil demon thingy with god like powers who tried to control the concept of time by possessing Nayru, and tried to light the flame of destruction to annihilate the whole world

He could control time and space

Change the seasons on a whim

See the future and met the fates of past, and future in cadence of Hyrule (past let’s you come back to life , future tells you where you have to go )

He has like the golden three

The Windfish

And the fates as friends (or acquaintances but then again the windfish likes him canonically for waking him�� the fates kinds are actually helpful)

Like honestly legend probably is more of a god for having the golden Doritos every new adventure for breakfast (he probably carries them after cadence of Hyrule or maybe the fates go out their way to revive him anytime he dies … but it’s probably the Doritos

He wishes on the triforce enough to have it on straight up speed dial

Like… probably literally having it on his hand because everyone gave up on building temples for it when they can just give it to the guy who holds it as often as one holds their tooth brush

If we include the royal blood thing as in the mortal with the blood of the goddess

And him and fable being siblings

Then he should be named legendary hylia and nothing else will be tolerated

Like dude is already named legend

And names hold power and significance

Fierce deity probably is his guard dog

Not because hylia's true reincarnation needs help but because it is the legendary hylia's purse dog Anna fun accessory

While time is freaking out that legend could be off legendary status,… honestly I think that was obvious

I feel so bad for hyrule because how the hell can you possibly even TRY to live up to the legacy of a god like being beyond death and capable of ending world destructive threats and has more godly friends then he has mortal ones

It's like ridiculously unfair lol

The chain has a few deities on their group yet sky is not the god in this scenario

Warriors was making fun of a literal god like being , time, sky , etc. probably realize that while he doesn’t lol

And legend probably doesn’t even know that he is as close to a god as one can possibly be

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househrt · 1 day ago

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Can I please hear your trans Wilson headcanons

YES literally always (and yes these may contradict each other but there are infinite universes full of an infinite number of trans Wilsons)

he didn't go to med school solely to get a gender neutral title, but it definitely helped him make the decision (because we know this man usually doesn't know what tf he wants in life)

maybe he also wanted to study medicine to stop him from being scared of T injections, because he started out on gel but it got too inconvenient to have to apply every day and he got too paranoid about making sure he didn't touch anyone before 6 hours (yes I'm projecting for the second half of that lol)

I'd need an entire fic to flesh out this idea more but there could be something interesting in Wilson feeling guilty for transitioning after he lost contact with Danny, because now he's worried that Danny might not recognise him if they crossed paths again (this genuinely puts off his medical transition for a While, but he eventually does it anyway)

when he met House, he introduced himself with his surname because he hadn't chosen a new first name yet, and House noticed (because of course he would) but he didn't say anything about it (yet)

he's still in the habit of pitching his voice lower even though he's been on testosterone for ages, which is why he sometimes gets that theatre kid line delivery accent

dysphoria is part of the reason he wears too-big clothes in later seasons, to hide what his brain keeps calling curves but is actually just normal weight gain for a dude his age

I love the messy path of him identifying as a lesbian pre-transition, then as a straight trans man, and then a trans man dealing with so much comphet because he's actually just gay

I like to think he learns about non-binary people in the later seasons and it resonates with him enough to add a they to his pronouns (he/they Wilson I am crushing you up and putting you in a jar to carry around with me)

or, trans Wilson who doesn't realise until he's in his 30s/40s and is disgusted (dysphoric) at the idea of being House's girlfriend, so he's convinced himself he's not into men, but then he transitions and realises being House's boyfriend solves all his problems (except not actually because this man has so many problems)

he feels guilty about transitioning after he becomes the head of oncology because he thinks it makes the hospital look good to have more women department heads (House and Cuddy independently think this is the stupidest thing he's ever said. House's main argument is that trans department heads earn way more diversity points)

he doesn't know if House knows he's trans or not, but he's still keeping it a secret so he can bring it up to win an argument or bet at some point

he used the equivalent of trans tape to bind all the time even though he's mildly allergic to the adhesive and it left him with scars from where it always blistered and tore his skin (no I'm not projecting shhhh)

I always think of @defibrillism when I think about this but transmasc Wilson/transmasc Amber is also very special to me and you should check out his transmasc Amber tag for that very good content if you vibe with it

#asks #my posts #house md #james wilson #malpractice md #hatecrimes md #trans james wilson #hilson

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anomaliex · 2 days ago

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Im very fond of soulmate AUs but I've never been a fan of the "you spend your whole life waiting for the ONE and you HAVE to date or you're weird" it feels iffy to me (I mean I'm arorace so maybe that's it). I enjoy "oh you're on the same wave length, if you meet you for sure will have a deep emotional connection with this person but who knows what it'll entail. And maybe you'll never meet but that doesn't mean your life will be any less fulfilled". It's more of a,,,you were born under the same star, lol? But yeah I wanna write a few fantasy high fics with that concept.

I'm partial to (temporarily) mirroring markings on each other's skin soulmate AUs but honestly I'm not super sure what to do with this one. But I'm throwing up ideas because I can't just stay silent, I'd explode.

Listen. Listen. Sandra Lynn and Gilear are soulmates. Being inherently compatible doesn't mean you can't fuck up. The two have a genuine connection and she loved Gilear but she was never 100% sure that she was in love with him, and monogamy maybe wasn't right for her either but she was ignoring all those doubts and complex feeling in favour of going for the safe and easy life that society expected and that would, short term, definitely make her happy. It'd make Gilear happy, too. (The possibility of living an immortal life without a partner by her side might have scared her more than the possibility of that partner not being the right one.) Both of them later find new happiness in their respective partners, and they're on okay terms but they never restore the closeness they once had. Which is okay, certain mistakes can't be undone even if they're forgiven, and certain relationships just won't be restored. But yeah complex feeling about this and how sometimes soulmates don't mean forever.

Branching off of this, Fig. The divorce causes all the problems with Fig it normally does, but it also makes her write off the idea of soulmates completely. True love doesn't exist type deal (which I agree with. Feelings can change and you have the potential to love anyone, and anyone has the potential to be loved. But for a teenage girl that might have previously romanticised the concept of it this realisation can be upsetting and lead into the other extreme, which is that love in general can never be sincere. Which hey, is a sad outlook.) She tries to replicate the feeling for validation with faces that aren't her own but eventually finds someone that loves her for her and becomes comfortable being the person she is. Ayda happens to be her soulmate but they'd love each other regardless of that.

(Ayda's past incarnations have had varying soulmates. The ones she has records of never met theirs and she really was in the "why would I have one in the first place" mindset. Who knows about the Aydas that came before her, It's so far in the past that I don't think it matters.)

(Idk if Jawbone has a soulmate and if he does idk if he has met them. But I don't think that matters much they're not on his mind.)

Less romance related take on soulmates are Fabian and Riz I think! Fabian is in denial at first because Riz is a loser (not that Fabian isn't a loser lmao. But Riz is like, a social loser.) but Riz immediately decides this is his GUY. This is his best friend. And Fabian does too honestly but it takes him a while to get over being a shitty teenager and be open about it. The whole sophomore year stuff. I do think Riz is aroace and I have my. aro-spec thoughts about Fabian so this can go either "just" best friends (I don't want to de-value purely platonic relationships they're SO good and important and shouldn't be placed below romantic ones all the time) or venture into more queerplatonic territory. Which I also really like with those two lol. But they're a package deal with a deep connected and care for each other greatly :)

Gorgug hasn't met his soulmate and he truly does not care. He has all the time in the world, and if he never meets them that's fine too? His parents are definitely soulmates but being raised by them I think it'd truly be so hard to become insecure about societal expectations like that. This is covered somewhere in the sex and relationship folder probably. Gorgug is such a guy. Zelda, Mary-Ann, Squeem, Unit, Ragh(??). Everyone wants him. He's mostly up for it. SUCH a guy.

Oh! Also. Lucy and Kipperlilly were soulmates. Just, cause, yeah. I think Lucy has so much shit to work through in therapy and this might be #1 on the list because, like, yeah.

Oh also non-romantic soulmates Adaine and Aelwyn,,,they're so important to me. They're so important to each other too. For a really long time Adaine thought something must be wrong with her for her soulmate to treat her like this, something must be wrong with the world for the stars to align only to promise her cruelty. They're okay now. Aelwyn of course felt deeply guilty for everything she was doing but also shoved said guilt so far down she barely felt it. Their relationship is already perfectly articulated in canon I don't have much to add to this, I just wanna write them softly rebuilding their relationship I love them so dearly.

#rambling into the void #au ideas #dimension 20 #fantasy high #unnamed soulmate AU change this tag later #sandra lynn faeth #gilear faeth #figayda #figueroth faeth #fig faeth #ayda aguefort #fabian aramais seacaster #riz gukgak #qpr fabriz mention #aelwyn abernant #adaine abernant #frostkettle #lucy frostblade

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emeraldraccoon478 · 4 hours ago

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Honestly this makes me feel so much better. I’m currently trying to learn Norwegian (which is very important to me, because my grandmother was never taught and so my dad never learned so i didn’t get to learn) and I’m scared to try and make sentences because I still don’t know that many words, and I have no clue if my grammar is even kinda right

but in English I have no problem being like “you know the round flat thing you eat on?” Or “it goes meow, and is tiny? That thing” because I know I can get my point across well enough, and once I have the word I need we can laugh about it. And like when I meet someone who’s not a native English speaker and they just kinda gesture and describe whatever word they forgot it’s kinda endearing in way? Maybe not the right word, but it’s fun and I kinda feel like yay you’re trying and I really appreciate it and stuff

so maybe I can extend this concept to learning Norwegian too, I may not know the word. But I can sure make something up to try and get my point across

I actually really like the thing when you're starting to get the hang of a new language, enough to understand and say simple sentences but you gotta get creative to get more complex thoughts across, like a puzzle. I remember a time in the restortation school when a classmate who wasn't natively finnish and did her best anyway dropped something and sighed, telling me "every day is monday this week. I have had four mondays this week." And I understood.

I don't think I speak much of spanish anymore, but in the nursing school training period I did there, I did manage to get by with making weird Tarzan sentences. I got a nosebleed at some point and startled another nurse. Not knowing the words "humidity" or "stress", I managed to string together: "This is ok. It is hot, it is cold, I have a bad day, I am sad, I have blood. This is normal for me." And she understood.

And sometimes you just say things weird, but it's better than not saying it. One time, I was stuck in a narrow hallway behind someone walking really slowly with a walker, and he apologised for being in the way. I was not in any hurry, but didn't know the spanish word for "hurry", but I did know enough words to try to circumvent it by borrowing the english "I have all the time in the world."

The man burst into one of those cackling old man laughters that they do when something in this world still manages to surprise them. He had to be somewhere between 70 and a 100 years old, and I guess if there was one thing he wasn't expecting to hear today, it would be a random blond vaguely baltic-looking fuck casually announce that he is the sole owner and keeper of the very concept of time.

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hollowed-theory-hall · 14 hours ago

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I'd love to know your thoughts on the Gaunts in Hogwarts Legacy. I loved Ominis as a character, and the story of his family was interesting, but I'd really love an in-universe explanation for how they get to the state they are at when Tom is born in less than what... 40ish years? At most? How exactly do they go from multiple family members functional enough to attend Hogwarts to barely able to speak English (or seemingly use magic) that quickly?

So, the reason I didn't put Ominis and the Gaunts in my big canon contradictions in the HL post, is becouse I can in fact headcanon my way into Ominis' existence making sense (kinda). We only need one big factor that would allow for a very fast decline and we have one — inbreeding.

I mentioned this already here, but Marvolo speaks like he remembers the influence his family once had. Not only that, but he's different from his kids. He acts more like a person who can be somewhat reasoned with than both his barely more than squib children who don't seem capable of much intellectually.

How this might've happened is, say, one Gaunt got obsessed with blood purity and around the 1780s married his cousin.

His children turn out okay since it's just one generation of cousin marriages, but then his son also marries a cousin in the 1810s.

Their children would still seem reasonably fine and marry cousins again. And they have children in the 1840s.

By this point, most of them would be losing prestige and money and many other purebloods would want nothing to do with the Gaunts. This pushes them to keep marrying just a bit too close and shrink down the family to only the main line and maybe another one.

So, these children born in the 1840s would have their own kids with their cousins around the 1870s.

Now, these kids are Marvolo and Ominis, another brother (since Ominis mentions having older brothers), and at least one sister (for the sake of this theory to work). By this point, inbreeding would start to be a problem after 4 generations of first/second-cousin marriages in a row, which would work with Ominis being born blind, for example (which is a possible result of inbreeding).

Now, while both Ominis in the game and Marvolo in the 1920s talk a big game about their family influence, by the 1890s, it's a lie. I think they started falling from grace earlier throughout the century (as I mentioned), losing money and prestige and holding onto their position in the wizarding world by the skin of their teeth. Ominis' posturing about his father knowing the headmaster in HL always came off to me as just that — posturing. His father may have met Phineas Nigellus Black, but they weren't close by any means. Ominis is just threatening you the way he knows and can — which is some of the connections still left for his family since the money ran dry years ago.

The fact we don't see other kids in Slytherin trying to win Ominis' good graces for the sake of his family's influence (blindness or not) again suggests a lot of said influence is posturing more than the real deal. I mean, he's only friends with Sebastian and Anne, two students who are definitely outsiders within Slytherin (even if there's no way they live in Feldcroft, since there's no way that hamlet doesn't exist in the books).

Also, Ominis mentions his brothers and father tortured muggles. There's a non-zero chance that in 1890 most of his family is in Azkaban and he really is just lying and he has nothing he can do against anyone with his connections. Basically, it's a bluff.

I think seeing them like this adds an interesting reason as to why Noctua (Ominis' aunt) would want to look for Slytherin's Scripturium (though I don't think the Scripturium exists in the books, so let's say she looked for the Chamber of Secrets and was eaten by the basilisk since she wasn't the heir it was meant to obey in the 1880s). Becouse she's trying to bring the family back to its place of influence as descendants of Salazar Slytherin in a different way from her brother.

By the 1890s, Noctua is dead, there are no Gaunt cousins, just the main line with Marvolo, Ominis, unnamed brother, and unnamed sister.

Ominis is likely disowned at some point, and it fits his character to decide not to have kids and not pass on Parseltongue, which he sees as dark. I can see his character making that decision. But for this theory to work, he has to die before Tom is born, so he doesn't live a long life unless he left Britain and is living happily in the US or Australia or something.

The unnamed brother might be in Azkaban for crucio-ing a muggle, getting him out of the picture in an in-character way and making sure he has no kids.

Marvolo is where it gets interesting becouse with the state we see with his kids, and the nosedive off a cliff the family took in his time, my theory is that he had his kids with the aforementioned named sister. It would explain why Morfin and Mereope are like that. It would explain why they were completely shunned from wizarding society. How they lost even the measly amount of influence they had so quickly. It would fit with Marvolo's view of blood purity and the Gaunts' blood in particular, being purer than the rest.

So, this is my answer as to how I can headcanon my way into the Gaunt family's fast decline making sense. That being said, do I think Ominis is canon for the books' universe? Probably not, but I can make up shit to make it work, as I illustrated here.

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #hollowedtheory #asks #anonymous #harry potter meta #wizarding world #gaunt family #house of gaunt #ominis gaunt #marvolo gaunt #hogwarts legacy

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casscainmainly · 1 day ago

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Hi! ✨ I was wondering what you thought about Duke's part in the latest episode of WFA?

Hi!! So I was very optimistic given last week's We Are Robin intro, and my hopes aren't dashed or anything. (I don't have FastPass btw so I'm talking about the latest free one!). Duke was fine here, him pushing back against Damian is maybe the first time he's stood against anyone in WFA so it's definitely an improvement! The conflict fuels Damian's character, though, not Duke's, which is still disappointing.

Obviously in canon neither Duke nor Damian would've been so nice in their argument, but WFA is a universe where every emotion is halved so I'm not mad about that. I am a bit wary about Damian vs. We Are Robin kids, and the rhetoric about 'field training' and 'field readiness'; firstly, this is a watered down version of what we already got in Robin War, and secondly it shows a misunderstanding of what We Are Robin is. Having Damian beat up Riko and Dax, even if he's called out for it, just kinda fuels the image that We Are Robin aren't 'real' Robins and need proper Bat training. Idk this was an issue in Robin War too, but the point of We Are Robin is that they're not trained like Bats! They're something separate, and that is their strength!!

I just think a WAR + Damian story could be so good if you treated both sides as equals. They both challenge each other' ideas about Robin; Damian has relationships with both Duke and Izzy; in fact, a story about Duke's loyalty between Damian and WAR would be so intriguing! This episode uses Duke + WAR more or less as a prop for Damian, so it isn't the best, but hopefully it's just a temporary thing and we actually get WAR/Duke spotlight next.

Anyway I will stay tuned in as long as We Are Robin are here so I'm hopeful they'll have bigger character/story moments later!! This is just the second ep they've been in so we'll see. For Duke, the major things WFA has left to fix are: 1) his personality (we still need way less 'timid'/normal Duke); 2) mention his parents more!! 'i don't talk about my parents much' are you kidding; 3) differentiate his relationships a little more. He should not interact with Cass and Dick in the same way! But this is kinda a WFA problem across the board rather than a Duke-specific one. Curious to hear other Duke fans' thoughts!

#duke thomas #wayne family adventures #we are robin #ask #also they need to give the war kids their personalities #let riko gush over babs!! let duke and izzy have their moments!! let dax and dre kiss!!#(does anyone ship them i must know. i know dre/duke is a ship but what about dax/dre??)#i need a comic or fic where duke's frayed relationship with we are robin is properly explored...#but honestly i'm just happy war is being exposed more. say what i will it's not like canon remembers them :(#if i were head of dc duke would have a solo with dre and izzy appearing as supporting #riko would be in batgirl (yes i know she's a babs fan but that was n52. Riko is a cass fan to ME!!! I need my asian girls together <3)

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bimboficationblues · 17 hours ago

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2024 was a mixed bag. I spent a lot of it malding about my job, but fortunately I am no longer there and have a new one (family lawyer for DV survivors). Idk if I want to keep being a lawyer long term but rn I am making more money, doing more interesting (but potentially taxing) work, and hopefully it will level out to something either tolerable or useful.

long distance with my love is still sad, and we found that polyamory did not really alleviate those pressures, but we have taken some good steps towards a different approach, starting with a monogamy trial run. I found dating around mostly unpleasant despite some exciting possibilities throughout the year - very few people seem to really know what they want and act accordingly. ultimately poly started to feel like I was chasing after an ideal, and I do believe I’d enjoy that ideal. but when the process of pursuing it is so exhausting and unfun and crazy-making it just doesn’t seem worth it. the lesbian connections I found frequently ended because the other person started acting like an avoidant abject meow meow and I simply don’t have the patience.

as far as bringing the long distance to a close, I'm not sure how that’s gonna happen - I love Chicago and I don't want to leave my people. for the first time since maybe high school I do not feel fundamentally lonely and I think that's a feeling worth taking seriously. I've been really overjoyed by my various friendships, both near and far. but I miss my gf dearly. she has my heart. I don’t feel like I’ve ever loved or been loved like this. It’s a difficult situation.

I did get to travel a lot which was nice - this year in addition to regular Washington visits, including one to Olympic National Park, I also went to Barcelona, Toronto, Montreal, Cleveland, and Philadelphia. I am visiting my love's hometown currently and while I was kind of dreading it a bit it's turned out to be overall very pleasant and comforting and nice to see where she came from. Plus I did some visits to the family in SC.

speaking of which, I am feeling generally at ease with my parents. I feel like I've been able to accept that they are limited people, but not to such a degree that it makes being around them impossible, and they have also generally gotten cooler about a lot of things. we have a lot in common and it is generally fun to spend time with them despite their foibles. being able to do drugs together also helps. my dad turned 60 this year and my mom has been having health issues, which I do think has made entropy be on my mind a lot more to a troubling degree. dunno how I’ll handle that when it becomes a more pressing consideration but I guess that’s a problem for the future.

last January I made a conscious effort to approach my passions and hobbies more intentionally by making a daily schedule that roughly looked like this:

MONDAY - fiction reading; TUESDAY - history studies; WEDNESDAY - philosophy/political theory studies/writing; THURSDAY - working on music; FRIDAY - watching movies.

I also tried to get some daily activities going on top of all these - listening to at least one full album a day, regular walks, practicing guitar, yoga. keeping to this was inconsistent - sometimes I was locked in and sometimes I'd get derailed by other priorities (spending time with the love, seeing my lovely friends, getting stoned, travel). sometimes certain activities are just easier (reading comics is always fun and also minimally demanding of my energy, social media and doomscrolling is a tempting time-sink). I might try and revise this approach in some ways - I might want to take a harder tack with how much time I want to spend on each activity - but I do think that even just being deliberate and structured about how I spend my time made my mental state significantly stronger. so that is a positive development.

artistically I've made progress on the album, but I never feel like I have enough time to dedicate to it with work and everything else. but I also think my approach of trying to write all the songs first before recording them was the wrong one. so instead I think I'm going to start trying to get what I've roughly finished into a recorded form and in the process a stronger vision of the project will emerge which will help with future songs. this will require me to learn some new skills - I've always worked with a producer before - but that's not a bad thing. my friends and I are also doing a writing workshop so that will be nice to get feedback from people I love and trust.

social media has been real bad for me this past year in a kind of emotionally masochistic way - I found myself hatereading a lot more, which is bad. I’m hoping I can adjust that this year and stop getting brain damage from pissing myself off.

part of the reason for the above is that the political situation domestically and globally is dire and basically I just see cope or rationalization everywhere which, considering the urgency and scope and existential weight of what’s happening, is really infuriating to me. I feel like after a year of some of the most depraved inhuman butchery imaginable, as the ruling class takes refuge in obvious bad faith that is “all the more odious because it is less and less likely to deceive,” and with Hitleritis running rampant through civil society, we need a sober reflection on the challenge ahead of us as socialists. I do not want the ruling class to annihilate the rest of us with them or for capital to find new, intensified, and more insidious methods of shifting crisis around. this is partly why anti-intellectual, regressive forms of Marxism have been stuck in my craw lately, because it feels like psychological palliatives masquerading as politics. I’m not sure what the move is to really turn the tides of the war we are in, but doing away with self-deceiving political impulses seems like a start.

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biblioflyer · 2 days ago

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I agree with the take on Von Franz but the implication that its the failure of the characters to come together I kinda disagree with. Nosferatu (2024) is not Dracula. It casts doubt on our assumptions about whether the traditional tricks for dealing with a vampire will actually work or not. They're on the clock and grasping at straws with Orlok having very credibly demonstrated he's going to kill all of them that night and there's probably not a lot the fellas can do to stop him, but Ellen does have the one thing that can maybe interrupt him: herself.

The power dynamics are different. Dracula is on the backfoot and having to flee because he dragged out his mindgames too much for the drama of it all. Orlok is on mission. He's willing to give Ellen time to agree but the suffering he inflicts is coercive rather than because he's a messy supervillain who loves the drama, so he just doesn't give the Nosferatu Scoobies time to put together a better plan.

The structure of the problem is arranged so that the boys simply can't do better because they don't have the time. They're mostly just running around playing monster hunter with a thimble full of knowledge and a fair amount of the sort of masculine confidence that makes a fella think he could fight a bear.

Ellen's the final girl who has to take the monster out at the cost of her own life. In keeping with the occultism of it all, I think its meant to be a bit Christlike in that she chooses the hard path of self sacrifice to save everyone else (although unlike other vampire media, just one look at Orlok and you can tell the "gift" of eternal life is almost exclusively curse and very little of it elegantly brooding in compound interest funded mansions.) But I think perhaps there's also a bit of an effort at reclaiming human sacrifice narratives to provide an alternative to the framing in which women without agency are used to appease a monster and instead suggest in some instances they may be people who are venerated, understand the gravity of the situation, and make a choice for the greater good.

I like that Nosferatu is trying to do its own thing. Its not a pretty ending and that grit doesn't make it better than Dracula, just different. The power of friendship ideal is good, potent, and praiseworthy. So is that of a woman choosing to use her various aspects: her agency, sexuality, and clairvoyance; aspects that society tries to police and malign, to save the world, or at least that town.

I think a fundamental difference between book Dracula and Nosferatu is how the protagonists work as a collective. In Dracula, they are the Scooby Gang (trusting, collaborative, polyamorous). In Nosferatu, they are the teens from an 80s slasher (suspicious, deceitful, jealous). The count can be defeated, but only the power of friendship can save Mina.

#nosferatu 2024 #nosferatu spoilers

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frankenfran · 22 hours ago

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PLEASE talk as much as you want about final fantasy. Since I already have 3 FF questions, I'll let you choose whatever you want to talk about most

1. I wanna hear what you don't like about XV and XVI (I only know the story of XVI and yeah it has. issues)

2. What do you think about the older 2D FFs?

3. I know there's an insane amount of spinoffs and side stories, so of them all, what do you think is a must-play for someone like me who wants to get more into the series? (I've only played most of tactics, and FF I Advance of all things)

oh goodness well, this probably won't be popular but since you asked... (under a read more because it's fucking long)

1.) as reductively as possible: too much of a focus on men. deeply misogynistic games. it feels like they're a response to the misogynistic backlash to ffxiii. yes ffxiii had plenty of problems but given the culture at the time (which obviously hasn't gotten much better) it kinda felt like a lot of people rejected it as soon as they saw a woman as the protag. the craziest part is she's basically just cloud post transition but mysteriously people think all those traits on a woman are irritating or cringe.

anyway, this is obviously just my own personal feeling but it feels like they went the opposite direction and decided there should be less women going forward. ffxiv is infamous for killing every important female character and ffxv is just a yaoi road trip with minimal female involvement. you'd certainly think there were no women in the game based on the fan art and, unsurprisingly, people loved that. i mean consider the reaction to ffx-2 vs. ffxv. they're both obviously very different games in a lot of ways but one of them is about boys going on an adventure together and the other is about girls doing the same. one of them is considered embarrassing and got tons of backlash from fans contemporarily for being too girly and the other was a huge hit with fans and loved even with its flaws. it's worth noting ffxv was also originally a ffxiii spinoff that became it's own thing so. that's also information.

ffxvi is even more egregious in some ways but ill admit a lot of those are mostly personal. it's fucking ugly and dull and i would not know it's a final fantasy game if it weren't for the ill fitting chocobos in some trailers. i know it's ironic for me to say that considering i praised ffix for looking unlike any other ff game but they went in the wrong direction. it's clearly inspired by prestige western fantasy slop like GoT and the witcher and unfortunately those are the exact things i do not want in fantasy. some people like that and that's fine but it's clearly not for me.

anyway, iirc the writers from ffxiv worked on this and from what ive seen it shows in the worst ways. these are the writers who couldn't introduce a woman without killing her off so already off to a bad start but. it's punching above its weight class. it's trying so hard to be a epic grizzly dark fantasy but it just falls so flat. they say fuck all the time in the same way that one dmc game everyone hated did. im sure there's some amount of nuance that gets lost in translation but the only woman in the amount of the game i saw was, quite literally, an evil screeching harpy manipulator. which is not like, something im against obviously as a lover of women but for that to be the only woman in the first like. 10+ hours of the game? come the fuck on. maybe it gets better i honestly don't know. and i don't think i ever will because what i saw of that game was so immensely disappointing that im not sure ill ever bother.

i have plenty more i could say about both games but ive said soooo much already and honestly i can't imagine the misogyny website would particularly enjoy even more of my "misandry" lmfao. in short:

2.) i really enjoy the older 2D final fantasies but ive only really played a chunk of ffvi and the original ff. some day ill definitely give them a go! i feel like the ff fan equivalent of a zoomer for loving almost everything from ffvi onwards and not having much to say about the older ones but. the biggest barrier for me is the same one i have with the older dragon quests. they're not particularly hard or anything but they expect you to grind. a whole lot. if i was a kid and my only game was ffiii id be on that grind but it's a bit harder as an adult who can like. just do anything else. i even like grinding and getting into that flow state but i haven't been as much in the mood for it these days, or if i have it's been for different games. ill definitely get around to them eventually though. young immortal mindset as ive said before. watching my gf try and play through them did sort of make me want to give it a spin even with her furping.

3.) honestly you're already off to a good start! tactics is well beloved for a reason and it's probably the most recommended spinoff. id also highly recommend tactics advance. it's not as like, dark and serious as tactics but the style and gameplay and story are all executed nearly flawlessly. it's a favourite of our beloved princess nettlebloom and that's reason enough! definitely finish tactics first though. hmm... if you play ffxii and also enjoyed tactics advance then give FFXII: revenant wings a try! it's a weird RTS type game but it's in the style of tactics advance and very cute. definitely not for everyone though.

it's really far from essential but if you can somehow manage to organise enough people for it i highly recommend giving crystal chronicles a try. it's really fun with other people and it's close to ffix stylistically so im a big fan. maybe try dissidia if you want a silly fighting game? kebs seemed to enjoy stranger of paradise quite a bit and it seems like mindless action game fun so maybe give that a look if it interests you. honestly the spin-offs cover such a wide range of genre and quality that it's almost hard to have cohesive opinions on them lol. but i hope that helps in any way!

thank you for asking though and sorry for the wall of text! i genuinely suck at being concise and getting my points across but hopefully you could decode some of this madness lol

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taffywabbit · 3 days ago

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it feels weird to finally get a year where I get to say this but I think maybe 2024 actually WAS my year. hopefully not the last, but it really feels like the first, at least in a long time. I was stagnant and static and drifting without much momentum in any direction for quite a while, and then suddenly this year:

I finally moved into a solo apartment and am no longer living in a house with an ever-shifting pool of like 5 roommates. having my own quiet comfy space to cook and relax and be nocturnal without bothering anyone has been HUGE for my mental health

I worked very hard to recoup the money I lost from that move and got myself in a fairly stable and comfortable position again, work-wise

I finally started HRT in June, after about 5 years of waiting/struggling to find a doctor/fear/general motivation issues. which absolutely kicks ass and is probably the highlight of the whole year if I had to pick just one

I also finally got diagnosed with ADHD and (with a little trial and error) got medicated for it, which is another thing I've been trying to sort out for like 6 years. hey did you know executive dysfunction and problems with memory/task management/motivation make it really hard to go through the process of getting treated for the cause of those symptoms? wild huh

I rekindled a much closer relationship with a couple of my younger siblings, especially the elder of my two sisters, and we have really nice chats fairly regularly now (crazy considering we did nothing but fight constantly for like 20 years lol)

I came out fully to my family, for better or worse, and MOST of them have been surprisingly chill and supportive about it

I worked on a little game project with a friend for a couple months! it didn't end up working out but I learned a lot from the experience

I started doing WAY more personal art and kinda rediscovered my passion for it, and as a result I've progressed a lot stylistically and technically within the past few months

I beat Pseudoregalia 94 times since the first time I tried it in February. not really an achievement on the same level as all this other stuff but I'm still proud of it

like idk! there were a lot of rough patches this year and I was honestly pretty burnt out for the first half of it, but 2024 still feels like the year where I bundled up all my frustration about going nowhere with my life and achieving none of my goals and turned it into fuel to just blaze through a bunch of stuff in the back half. I wish I'd done a lot of it sooner, but life has been reminding me a lot lately that it really IS better late than never, so I'm trying to keep that perspective in mind and not let the idea of a ticking clock intimidate me like it used to. I am trying to be optimistic that 2025 will allow me to continue this momentum. we'll see I guess!

idk if I really have any resolutions per se? I guess I'd really like to make music more often in 2025, even if it's just small things I do in one or two sittings occasionally instead of full songs. I started writing a song this year, with lyrics and everything, and then didn't finish putting it together, so at the very least I'd like to make THAT happen soon. I think finding a way to get myself back into animation casually would be neat too - I have a lot of mental hangups and personal roadblocks holding me back, largely from my awful college experience, but I think if I can just find some tools that are comfortable for me then I'll be able to conquer those and hopefully start enjoying it again on my own terms. there's other stuff I'd like to pick up this year as well but honestly I'm keeping my expectations small for now and we'll just see what happens! let's do it, wahoo

#buny text #new years 2025 #long post

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latte355 · 2 days ago

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“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” me when I think about how the Huskies played against Marquette. (Honestly, the whole season so far😅)

Can’t say enough about their defense. It was very good. One of the announcers pointed out they held Marquette to 45 points which is pretty significant and their lowest score this season. And they limited their 3s (14.3%)

After very little offensive contribution from other players in previous games, they got it today with Jana and KK in double digits and boy did they need it because our Big 3 was off offensively, especially Paige and Azzi. Sarah had a slow start. Geno kept her in and she made good shots down the stretch.

Jana made mistakes but showed improvement. She’s so close🙏🏽

KK showed up and showed out in front of family and friends🙌🏽

Even though Azzi’s shooting was bad 🥴 her defense was 🤌🏽 can’t wait till it all comes together for her. She’s going to be a real problem.

Paige, not her best 🤷🏽‍♀️ but she did have a couple of steals and blocks. Idk maybe I need to rewatch. She’s still the 🐐though. I’m not worried about her or Azzi and will ignore all discourse about their game. They are fine (literally and figuratively lol)

Sarah, baby goat.

Rebounding still sucks, sigh

Silly turnovers, sigh

We have so many sharp shooters but our 3 pt shooting is not where it needs to be 😔 (So glad Allie was able to knock one down in front of her family)

But the Huskies still won by 30+ - a win is a win

There’s so much talent on this team. They are so close. I’m know they’ll eventually pull it all together and play a complete game from start to finish. Thankfully they have an easy schedule to work out the rough spots but they gotta be ready in February.

#uconn wbb #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #uconn women’s basketball

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nathaniacolver · 3 days ago

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bro, on one hand, YES. i get it.

i'm a lesbian. why do i have to wade through all the media life throws at me, BEGGING to see two women in love, in a way that is genuine, real, and authentic to my own life experience? WHY IS IT SO HARD.

some tired, worn out, weathered, frankly FATIGUED sapphic hardships:

male gaze *eternal sigh*

hypersexualization (not separate from #1)

toxic/unhealthy relationship (not separate from #1)

compulsory heterosexuality / fear of the word "lesbian" (yes, again, #1)

bury your gays (yes again duh)

censorship until last possible moment/episode

censorship via cancellation (NETFLIX WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU -)

infantilization (FUCK OFF PEDOPHILES and yes #1)

bad writing

queerbaiting

etc etc etc. y'all know, y'all live it with me. 😪😪😪

(btw caitvi dodging literally EVERY ONE of these bc they loved lesbians for once:)

---------------------line break for long post reasons!---------------------

wlw / lesbian / sapphic relationships being severely underrepresented in fanworks when compared to the gay mlm relationship is frustrating. ao3 has literally been run by women since its inception; why are so few women represented? why do so many straight women see themselves better represented (both sexually and romantically) in mlm relationships rather than wlw ones? @centrumlumina (centreoftheselights on ao3) has multiple essays/discussions on "Possible Reasons for the Lack of Femslash" (which, btw, is 11 years old - and some of the problems have lessened, but others have arguably persisted, maybe even gotten worse). here is their 11yo graphic (PLS do not oversimplify it or shun responsibility by saying "but that's just the way things are!"):

(they also have an incredible essay on "Fandom's Race Problem" - still amazingly relevant even 8 years later! will never not recommend something from centreoftheselights on ao3 😁 pls give them kudos & comments & bookmarks & all the typical ao3 love!)

IN OTHER WORDS: it is totally valid to be mad. be irate. enraged. FURIOUS. RAIN PROVERBIAL INTERNET HELLFIRE UPON ALL YOU WISH. that lesbian rage deserves to be had.

however, on the other hand, the "canon ship vs non-canon ship", i'm not surprised.

non-canon relationships have ALWAYS severely outnumbered canon ships, when it comes to fanworks. and it's important to recognize that part of the extreme disparity between apparent number of fanworks is due to the caitvi's very intentional, very undeniable, very built-up, very flirted-and-saved-each-other's-lives-all-first-season-to-kiss-and-then-break-up-for-months-before-reuniting-and-eventually-fucking-in-a-prison-cell-before-war status of being CANON (i cry), and very last-scene-shows-them-domestic-and-in-love status of being ENDGAME. amanda overton i owe you my very soul--

technically, jayvik is very NOT canon (cue christian linke tweets), and is very NOT endgame (sorry bros - they DED). and you know what that breeds?

example #1. "Foe Fiction"

i simply quote @ekingston, one of my queens, for this:

(original tweets; tumblr post that they made about their own tweet)

a lot of the fanart you see, for example for jayvik, is actually foe art. note the part on the scale: "I take a hammer and FIX the canon". people are mad that jayvik wasn't canon. that's valid, i've shipped supercorp, okay.

sadly, for most humans, negative emotions are a MUCH greater and more efficient motivator for creativity than positive emotions are. thus, a LOT more "foe fiction" and "foe art" tends to be made over fanfiction/fanart made with true, unadulterated LOVE and respect for the source material.

if it helps, you can go:

*sees jayvik* ah that's foeart, foefiction, foeworks. 😐👍🏼

*sees caitvi* omg true fanfiction hi!!!! 🥰😘❤✨😈

example #2. data to back up "Foe Fiction"

here are the top 100 most-written-for ships of ALL TIME on ao3. (quoting centreoftheselights again for the data, and image -- they're THE BEST! i'd subscribe to them on ao3 if you can 😊) i've poorly annotated the canon-icity of each.

notice anything?

i also did some rudimentary numbers, below (forgive me for how sketchy everything looks -- i'm now on my fourth hour of collecting everything i need for this post. 🚬🚬🚬).

77% of all the top, most written-for ships of all time are non-canon ships. literally more than 4x the percentage of actual canon ships.

so, i'm not surprised. jayvik is decidedly not canon, so, if i see 4x the amount of fanworks, i'm not surprised! and i'll never be surprised with non-canon ships inspiring more vitriol-fueled creativity.

this doesn't mean you shouldn't be mad! in fact, have another screenshot:

that makes me furious. what do you meannnnnn women confirmed to be in romantic love literally make up NOT EVEN TWO PERCENT of the top TWO MILLION FICS for the top 100 ships of all time? MISS ME WITH THATTTTTT

maybe caitvi will be the ship to break the trend. maybe it'll shoot to the top of the all-time femslash ships list. maybe, JUST maybe, you'll see it break the top 100 OVERALL on ao3.

maybe that sex scene is so legendary - so raw, so real, so authentic - that everyone finally GETS IT - why sapphic relationships are so precious and deserve to be adored and admired as much as m/m and f/m ships do.

but who knows. equality is a long haul (and i'm pulling with you!)

if your lesbian rage at the disparity in number of fanworks leads you to create more, all the better. it is something you can control.

so rage! seethe! never shut up about the continued dismissal and drowning of lesbian, sapphic, wlw ships. but NEVER do it unknowingly! do it IN SPITE of the weapons aimed at us, AWARE of the enemy. you know how amanda overton Did That™? because she was AWARE of all the enemies that sapphics have faced in the past! and she did something about it.

*edited in bc i forgot something, then put it in the replies, then figured i should just add to the original 🤦🏻‍♀️*

i'm also acutely aware of the way that the fandom as a whole has shunted out mel's romantic past with jayce in HEAVY, PROFUSE favor of a White Man. the misogynoir is showing, and i bet if i went to the jayvik tag on ao3, what would i see? mel as the villain, as the "opponent" to the "clearly superior", white, mlm ship. again, i'm not surprised, just mad that we can't seem to take steps forward.

but once again, the women will win. guess who gets a whole nother show to thrive in? mel. who doesn't? jayce and viktor. *duck grinning while smoking gif*

lastly, i tend to live in a pretty protected lesbian space -- all my algorithms mostly show me sapphics, and occasionally i'll get thrown a mlm bone to like, or to reblog/retweet. why not. solidarity, right? but it can definitely be annoying how one simple interaction with a post can suddenly shoot you all this crap you weren't expecting to see. i get it!

just remember to rest, to recuperate, to come back home where the best ship, to quote a tumblr fave, is always hot girl x hot girl

It is really disconcerting that two guys standing next to each other gets more art, attention, shipping, gushing, porn, etc by thirsty fans than the two canon lesbians who LITERALLY FUCK ON SCREEN.

Am I the only one who’s getting a little frustrated browsing the arcane hashtag and seeing NOTHING but Jayvik content???

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