#which is kinda sad. i like the game. i just have zero desire to play it anymore :/ & even when i do want to i can’t bc of my fucking hands.

[wickedghxst]

y’know it’s kinda funny i only even bought splatoon bc i didn’t wanna miss splatfests. & yet i haven’t participated in a single one since the first 2 or 3.

[theshandora]

EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH TOKYO GHOUL

Welcome to my series

EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH TOKYO GHOUL

where I just bitch about Ishida's choices and decisions.

First things first: to me manga kinda went shit after Arima's death. Like I honestly thought the whole One-eyed King thing could be played off nicely and that Eto and Arima will give Kaneki something to work with. But yeah... nevermind, he had to handle everything himself.

Now let's review some of the problematic points in the story:

- The whole island 'extermination of Aogiri Tree' operation. It honestly seemed like the Aogiri Tree which was feared by the CCG for the rest of the manga just fell apart like a house of cards. Why did Tsukiyama and other 20th ward ghouls appeared there to help them in the first place? Like, that turn of events was never clarified. 

- Touka's character in :re. Fuck you, Ishida. She wasn't my favorite in the first book, but I acknowledged her strength, her violent tendencies due to her childhood trauma and her desire to do better. And in :re all of a sudden she becomes this soft girl with a beautiful smile which does not appear in most of it and only enters again when Ishida decides that he has to force some romantic line for the main character. There is zero chemistry between Kaneki and Touka throughout the entire manga. It is pretty obvious from the start that Ishida wanted them to have some kind of romance, but he never followed through. Like, they don't see each other after Owl Eradication Op and then within a couple of chapters in :re they go from renewed friends to lovers to having a child and getting married? Nobody can convince that this is any kind of slowburn. That's a forced lazy arc. Besides... A CHILD???? "Fucckkking kidding". You are in the middle of the biggest crisis that ghoul society has ever faced. The ghouls rescued by the Goat are starving, Tokyo is filled with Furuta's Oggai army. Kaneki is traumatized (as always), overwhelmed with responsibility and trying his best to be the man that Arima believed him to be. SO YEAH, A PERFECT TIMING TO HAVE A CHILD. And there is not one panel where Kaneki questions if it is worth to bring a new life to this fucked up world. Yeah, Ishida, fuck you.  

Okay, now I know some of you will think that I just don't like a straight ship. So let's get it out of the way straight away:

- Kaneki didn't need a romantic line. At least it should have never gotten to the point of marriage and kids. It should have been a romantic interest at most. I hate the ending of the Hunger Games for the same reason. Katniss Everdeen having a bunch of kids and being a happy mom? Yeah, fuck that. - The only valid romantic line in this manga is Amon/Akira. They must be protected at all cost. And of course Ishida does not even bother to show them in the last chapter, lol. - I don't ship Kaneki with Hide. Their friendship is precious, and it makes me sad that people can't be friends without being romantisized (Johnlock stans, I am talking to you). - Shuneki. That's a tough one because I believe that Tsukiyama at some point did develop feelings towards Kaneki, but let's be honest it's not mutual.

Which brings me to the next point:

- TSUKIYAMA WAS DONE DIRTY. He deserved THE WORLD. I can't even find words to describe how unfair his character was treated. In the first book when he is first introduced his character is pretty flat. Yeah, he has charm, he's problematic and obsessive, and randomly inserts French words into the conversation. I know many people liked him even at that point, but let's face it: his character gains his true depth and meaning in :re. After everything we learn about his family and his relationship with Karren, Chie and the servants I don't know how can anyone not love him. The influence Kaneki's death has on his character development is enormous. First of all, it was such a strong moment when he decides that it is not his place to bring Kaneki's memory back? You can see how much struggle was there in his head. He recognized that he could have been wrong in the past, that Haise might be happier than Kaneki, and also he puts his family above his desires. Imagine: we went from Shu trying to have Kaneki to himself no matter the cost to Shu thinking that Kaneki is better off being Haise so that he doesn't learn about all the suffering and loss he went through. THIS WAS SO GOOD.

Now, the fact that even after regaining his memory Kaneki throws him off the roof is a bit controversial but understandable. After all, they weren't on the best terms, Ken didn't completely trust him in the past. Moreover, he never got to learn how much Shu suffered and how much he grew emotionally. And last but not least, I like to believe that he really hoped that Shu will survive the fall. I still see this part as a bit problematic because Kaneki would literally die for any member of the squad before, but at the same time I just feel sorry that he got himself in this situation in the first place. Being confused, not having his memories, wondering whether he should hold on to being an investigator - that was too much.

Okay, I got a little carried away. This is all great, but my point in this was how Tsukiyama was treated later when he was part of the Goat. Like the man literally forgave you, never doubted you once, did everything you expected of him and more and Kaneki never thanked him once. NOT ONCE. They never even had a conversation which concerned anything outside their goal. It honestly looked like Kaneki finally realized he can trust Shu with his life, so he just used him. This was so painful to watch. Ken literally never recognized how big of a part Tsukiyama played in him being the One-eyed King. This just makes me angry. And also Shu's non-existent reaction to Kaneki being married to Touka????

I don't even know what to say about Ishida creating that panel with Tsukiyama saying he just wishes to see Ken happy JUST TO END IT WITH A SICK COMMENT ABOUT TASTING THEIR CHILD???!??!?!? Ishida, why?

To summarize: Tsukiyama is a beautiful precious flower who did not deserve to be Kaneki's unappreciated errand boy. My soul was aching everytime he adressed him as "My King".

That's all I have to say in this post. This fandom is probably dead anyways, but I felt like screaming into the void.

[that-house]

Viego Rant (villainy and character design and tragedy and all that jazz)

Introduction The more I think about Viego, League of Legends’ newest character, the more enamored I am with him as a villain (unrelated to his general sexiness, though that does tie in with what makes him such a good villain).

I’ve seen a lot of complaints about his design. The Ruined King, one of the greatest threats in Runeterra, the progenitor of the Shadow Isles, the lord of the undead, is finally released as a playable champion and he looks like this:

People were expecting another Mordekaiser (who is similarly an undead king with a ghost army), a lich-tyrant clad in iron, decayed flesh peeling from an aged face. What we got was an angsty anime prettyboy, and it was infinitely better than the alternatives. 

Lore Viego isn’t a conquering king. While his combat abilities are indeed badass, his personality is far from it. He’s a whiny brat and that’s incredible. He isn’t bent on world domination. His character arc revolves around just how human, how fallible he really is. For those unfamiliar with his lore, I’ll paraphrase it here:

Viego was the second son of a great king. Overshadowed by his brother and with no expectations upon him and near-limitless wealth, he wandered around being an idiot fuckboy for the vast majority of his formative years. Disaster struck when his brother died in an accident, and Viego took the throne with no training, no experience, and no desire to be king. He was a shitty king. The worst king. Just all-around apathetic. Gave zero shits. Can you blame him? It’s a lot of responsibility to be thrust upon someone who isn’t much more than a child, and with no preparation. He didn’t care about anything, that is, until he met Isolde. She was a poor seamstress, but he fell in love with her upon their first meeting. Together they ruled the country but it was really just them staring longingly into each others’ eyes. His allies were kinda fucking pissed about that, and one day an assassin came from Viego. The assassin fucked up and stabbed Isolde instead, and the poison on the blade made her fall gravely ill. As she lay in her bed, slowly dying, Viego went mad seeking a cure. He ravaged the land seeking any knowledge that might help, pouring all of his money into finding an antidote. He failed. As a last resort, he brought Isolde’s body to the Blessed Isles, a place rumored to be able to resurrect the dead. It worked, to an extent. Isolde’s wraith, confused, afraid, and angry at being ripped from the peace of death, unthinkingly stabbed Viego in the chest with his own magic sword, creating basically a magic nuke that turned the Blessed Isles into the domain of the undead. Viego resurrected as the king of the Shadow Isles some time later, having totally forgotten that Isolde killed him. He controls a big-ass ghost army, could probably beat up any living thing in a fight, and has evil ghost magic. Now this stupid simp wants his wife back and if he has to kill every living thing on Runeterra, well, anything for his queen. He’s even a tier 3 sub to her Twitch.

Music His musical theme isn’t some heavy metal anthem or intense cinematic piece (unlike the Pentakill song named after his sword, Blade of the Ruined King). It’s mostly sad and slow, almost sinister, with a piano and a music box. It has its loud moments featuring violins and choral bits like any villainous music, but the song is mostly subtle. It is a banger though.

In the comments section of this video, someone pointed out that the music reflects his story from beginning to end:

Everything about this champion is so well done. Riot Games really outdid themselves on this one. Bravo, encore please.

Motivation While the Mordekaiser circlejerkers on r/LeagueofLegends won’t shut the fuck up about how powerful Mordekaiser is, Viego is the better villain. Mordekaiser may be a bigger threat to all life on Runeterra, but Viego is a better character. (There’s a guy on my League discord server who won’t shut up about Mordekaiser so forgive me for being pissed at Morde stans).

Mordekaiser is motivated by a desire for control, to rule the world. Viego is motivated by obsession and misplaced love. There aren’t a lot of Mordekaisers on Earth. Supervillains are rare in real life. But Viego’s motivations are a lot closer to home. People in positions of power that they don’t deserve can do a lot of harm (for example: Trump).

He’s a grieving husband who was never prepared to deal with anything more difficult than choosing what wine to drink with dinner, who is trying to get his wife back because the world had always complied to his every whim. He’s a funky mix between a truly hopeless romantic and a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum.

Obsession is scary. It’s a real-world emotional state that’s been the cause of a lot of murders over mankind’s history. In contrast, Mordekaiser’s cartoonish Genghis Khan XXL schtick isn’t something that we encounter often. Of course a superpowered ultradictator would be worse for the world, but if you give ultimate power to a random person, you’re more likely to get someone like Tighten from Megamind. Or, more relevantly, Viego.

Design His design is sexy and stupid, just like him. He wears an open shirt into battle and wields his sword like an idiot (I’ve seen all the rants about how that’s not how that sword is meant to be used) because he was never really a warrior. Even at his most violent, right before the end of his mortal life, he didn’t do much combat himself, leaving his military endeavors to his underlings. Even now that he’s essentially a god, he still has a colossal wraith army that causes far more devastation than he ever could personally.

Despite his slim build (by League of Legends standards), he easily wields his colossal sword because of the strength of his state of undeath. Like his political power when he was alive, his posthumous magical and physical powers were never something he sought out, they were just given to him by circumstance.

The big cool-ass triangle hole in his chest where Isolde stabbed him is the source of the Black Mist, which is evil ghost mist that ebbs and flows from the Shadow Isles, bringing with it hordes of the undead. The sadder Viego is, the more Mist he creates. Poetically, his invasion of the world is inspired by his sorrow at his wife’s death and enabled by his wife’s reluctance to return to him. His story is perfectly reflected by his design.

Isolde Isolde’s spirit took up residence inside a young Senna (who’s another League champion, not particularly important here). This led to some Black Mist-related shenanigans and at least for the time being, Senna uses Isolde’s power to fight off the servants of Viego which threaten all life on Runeterra.

It seems pretty clear that whatever love Isolde felt for Viego is gone by now. Whether or not she ever loved him or was just unable to say no to the king is up for debate, but I’d like to believe there was something there. In my opinion, Viego’s story hits harder if they really were a great couple at first, torn apart by circumstance and obsession.

Much like the Maiden of the Woods in that one comic that circulates around here, to whom the knight gave his heart and she was like “yo what the fuck i literally never asked you to do this,” Viego went a little too far in trying to save her. They may have once been happy, but the Ruined King ruined his own life, too.

Unless Isolde is a lot less morally decent than we’ve been led to believe, I doubt she can forgive all the massacring that her husband’s been doing lately. In the recent cinematic, she was shown to be pretty anti-Viego. Maybe she’ll get a bastardization arc, but it certainly seems unlikely.

All of Season 2021 is based around Viego, Isolde, and the Shadow Isles, so we’ll just have to see what comes next. It’s possible that we’ll get Isolde as a playable champion, which should clear a lot of things up.

Final Thoughts Unlike so many villains, he’s not fueled by rage or hatred, but rather by sorrow. He’s stuck in his past, unable to move on. He regrets the actions of his life but is set on his course now. The sunk-cost fallacy comes into play here; he’s put so much time and effort and blood into bringing back Isolde, that turning away from it would feel to him like an insult, not only to her but to the innocent lives he’s taken in her name.

His tale is a tragedy, a love story gone horrifically wrong. Viego has suffered throughout his thousand-year life. Despite this, he’s undoubtedly the villain. His permanent death would be a net positive for the world. In has rage and grief he’s destroyed multiple civilizations, and will burn down the world to get Isolde back.

His heart may be in the wrong place, but it’s in a very human place. I don’t think he’ll get the ending he’s looking for, but I hope he finds some closure in the end.

[lizacstuff]

Speculation asks (2nd Fragman, ep 38)

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: I'm actually very surprised we had 2 happy fragmans.. I've been conditioned to always except the other shoe to drop after 1 good fragman lol.. I mean suuuuure Serkan is most likely sick, but we all know he'll be fine in the end, so while the angst is gonna be there, it's more like the good kinda angst. I'm all for angst in which Edser are together through it and there's no involvement of third parties involved.. (thank god the Selin arc is FINALLY over)

Yes, yes! All of this. How funny that we’re all like, “Brain tumor? Happy days!!!” LMAO. But after what they’ve put us through with us constantly being hit in the face with Selin and Deniz for 7 episodes, this feels like the good kind of angst. Anything where Eda and Serkan are dealing with the adversity that comes their way together, feels like a breath of fresh air. 

We know that they’ll get through whatever this is and it’s obvious from the fragman that they’re taking a carpe diem sort of approach and we’re getting Serkan trying to live life to the fullest which should be fun to watch. 

Anonymous said: Since edas in the airport outfit I’m guessing the Selin Deniz drama will be solved pretty quick cause she’ll overhear Selin on the phone. And then edser will get tattoos etc. and the new drama is serkans (benign probably) tumor? He thinks he’s going to die and reflects on life/thinks about his brother and explains the bucket list to eda. So the crime solving thing is like a game set up? Like not an actual murder but kind of like escape rooms? What do u think??

I think you’re very good at speculating, this all makes sense to me.  I’m trying to temper my expectations with the Selin scene because it seems obvious that they are disposing of the story as quickly as possible and she may not get the comeuppance I desire. But as long as Serkan and Eda know her game and are not falling for her tricks anymore, I’ll take it. I just want her out of their lives and off the canvas of this show!!!!!

So they must go to the hospital to get Serkan checked out after he passed out at the airport and that’s when Eda stumbles across Selin and overhears that Deniz is the father. I’m guessing it’s all done and dusted in the first 10 minutes of the episode.  It’s about time that luck fell Eda or Serkan’s way when it comes to Selin and Deniz’s machinations.  Overhearing her confessing is pretty convenient, but since they should have unmasked them about a half dozen times by now, we’ll take the convenience of this. 

As far as the murder thing, it must be some sort of murder-mystery party. The whole gang is there and Eda and Serkan look to be roll-playing, I bet those scenes will be fun.

We’ll have to see what’s up with the tumor, but I can not wait to see how the tattoos come about. I’m just enamored with them. 

Anonymous said: I saw online someone mention that it is possible the murder mystery may be an escape room. I don't see why you would need a wig for an escape room but the new episode looks like it's gonna be a rom com episode. I think the Selin issue will be resolved very quickly at the beginning of the epi. Eda is wearing the same clothes she wore to the airport when she hears Selin. And they can't show Deniz because of the actor's Covid diagnosis. There will be some sadness because of the tumour plot

You need a wig for a murder-mystery party and/or escape room if you’re really into it and having fun!  Or if you’re trying to do something fun and sexy for your boyfriend who thinks he’s dying...

Anonymous said: I love how everyone at Artlife comes on board for whatever they decide. If they are solving an actual murder, I can't believe they all agreed! I saw online someone say that's true ride or die! Lol! I love these characters! They can test my patience sometimes but sometimes I'm just in awe of them and their relationships!

Yes, the rest of the characters are usually seem game for anything. I like it like this, when they’re good, supportive friends (unlike the shitstains some of them were during amnesia, Piril and Ceren, looking at you).  Now... when is a love interest arriving for Melo?

Anonymous said: They could stretch this plot out 2-3 episodes depending on how many items Serkan has on his bucket list. I think this could give us the rom com we love so much but obviously with the background of his tumour. I'm actually excited. If they plan to have Kemal be Serkan's dad then it may stretch even longer and I'm okay with that. I just wanted Selin and Deniz gone and Edser to be together. We are getting that

I pretty much agree with this. I actually don’t mind the health-scare plot stretching out a bit if it gives us some good angst and some introspective Serkan and Eda standing by her man, and them confronting everything together and trying to live life to the fullest.  I wish we could get them to Paris for this bucketlist! Damn you, COVID! 

Some speculation I read pointed out that perhaps the tumor is a way for the new writers to explain some of Serkan’s out-of-character behavior under the last set of writers. That would be a good thing, it would allow the audience and Eda to forgive his lapses while having amnesia. It will be interesting if it’s mentioned that behavioral changes are a symptom.  

There’s also the speculation that the story could serve to reveal Kemal as Serkan’s father.  Frankly, I hope so.  I really like the idea of Serkan having a bit of an identity crisis and also confronting his anger at his parents and what it would mean to let someone into his life that might actually love him as a father. Let’s be real, Alptekin was a failure as a father to Serkan.  And he was such a failure, and with a son who really did nothing but give him reasons to be proud, that it all comes together and makes me think he always knew he wasn’t Serkan’s biological father.  I mean that jackass refused to come to his son’s engagement party, or meet his fiancé, and he was there at the house. That’s a certain kind of loathing. 

Anonymous said: It seems like the next episode will be one emotional hit after another. And just when you think everything is going to be okay then something else will happen. Like Eda deciding she will fully commit to being with Serkan and helping him raise his child with Selin only to right afterwards hear Selin on the phone with Deniz. Serkan & Eda will rejoice and then comes the news of Serkan’s health issues. He either withholds the news for a bit or they have another very emotional scene reaffirming their commitment to each other and getting through this before working on his bucket list. Seems like the truth about Kemel & Aydan’s past relationship might come to light as well. I am so darn happy that Selin is leaving the show for good by the end of the episode & hope Eda chews her out after hearing her on the phone. Totally fine if Serkan & Selin have zero scenes together and their goodbye/chew out is handled on the phone. And if Deniz was going along with Selin’s plan then he needs to be chewed out as well. That poor baby though.

I’m not sure how much chewing out of Selin and Deniz we’re going to see. For sure Eda is going to have some choice words for Selin after what she overheard, but who knows if we’re going to get the satisfying Serkan smackdown we all want. The audience deserves to have them humiliated and punished, but with all the circumstances (Bige having less availability to work due to her father’s death, Sarp Can having COVID, and new writers just wanting to dispose of the storyline as soon as possible) who knows. 

However, I’ll rejoice that they’re gone and not worry too much about it. 

[survivor-mesopotamia]

Ep. #4 - “I’m extending a bridge to you” (Zach)

There is zero upside to being captain. If captains are swapped, then I'm basically screwed, and if they pick, then I have to reveal my allegiances to people still in the game. I absolutely do not want to be captain. I'm not crazy about Zach being it either, I'd prefer it to be someone like Kyle or Grace, but if Zach is going to push for it we will see what happens

https://youtu.be/9jTSUqwcuPU Confessional 7 (Round 3 #2)

Voting out Chrissa was probably one of the hardest votes I've ever had to encountered, and it honestly really hurts. For me, voting her out was the best strategically because we talked the least. And by the time tribal started, I ended up in alliances of 3 with Will & Megan and JJ & Julian respectively. Given the ranking system, we are all expecting some sort of tribe swap, which might be best for my game so long as I have someone else on my tribe with me. However, JJ recently got into a lot of trouble. Stuff about sending nudes because he "perceived there to be consent". Yikes. Apparently other people know about it too, which makes sense because this call happened in tengaged about it. We are thinking he might be removed, but we don't know what's to happen yet. I think most of us are running under the assumption that he'd be voted out next tribal should he not be removed. It's pretty gross what he did, and I definitely won't be aligned with him any longer. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTzwD-rR8Ws&feature=youtu.be

I am happy JJ is out of the game, both because he deserves it based on his behavior and because one less number. The tribe challenge has me worried. I hope it is a challenge with Zach representing us, because he is good and it also keeps him a bigger target than me. If it's a swap, I'm very nervous and will probably have to paint myself as being on the outs if I end up in a minority, which would almost certainly happen relative to the other two tribes. No matter what, the backstabbing is probably going to start very soon, so buckle your seatbelts everyone.

Confessional 9: https://youtu.be/WhBt-uWOdEA Confessional 10: https://youtu.be/1ZbVWE-2AqM

volunteering for the summit bc im bored and wanna just be a bit risky. i feel like if a twist gets leashed upon me, it'll be surface level. Praying for the best!

Tribe Summit - https://youtu.be/46NdXf1N37U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeX4PKTjQlw&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/96RCT99DDWI Confessional #8 (Round 4 Confessional #1) Contents: JJ's removal, the summit, Kyle's removal, new tribe.

Holy shit so we've had a tribe swap and two removals. Both kinda shocking and completely out of the blue what had happened. Oddly still not the craziest thing I've seen done on either end of org playing but still. So far with the new tribe I feel I got the good end of the stick with zach and Collin and myself staying together for the most part kinda wish we had all stayed together because of you know being out numbered by returning players there's the enitial Holy shit fuck I'm screwed feeling but so far the tribe seems pretty cool. Which is odd and weird from what I've heard for Tumblr games from my understanding they're the more cutthroat game but so far everything has kinda been predictable in placements just as an outsider looking in but ya know. So far I'm really enjoying Abby she seems pretty cool and like I could work with her for a while but yeah that's all for now

post swap BIG boy confessional https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyooK5AHp1Y&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/6IrXzJm6qNk

---

https://youtu.be/MoJSBeUUdWQ

https://youtu.be/CSKB4qzvWU0 Group Confessional #1 Catching up on Each other's games and preparing for what the swap has in store for us

Uhm hi so a lot has happened and I'm sorry I didn't do confessionals before describing it all but yah -Not sure if I did a conf for the last round but basically the challenge was more flash games (yay fml) and my tribe flopped yet again (yay) -We decided to vote out chrissa unan but chrissa apparently voted for me so that was cute, already breaking my goal of not getting votes so early THANKS CHRISSA -Then JJ got removed from the game for sexually harassing ppl which is NOT COOl but then my tribe was down to four members and thats just sad luv -Then there was a random ass ranking for this summit thing and i was like wtf i dont know but I kinda figured id be getting voted as the team captain for my tribe which like eeeek could potentially put a target on my back but also i like these people and i think they like me so i'll just accept it -turns out the other tribe captains voted in were Johnny and Zach and I was like well thats cute tbh i think i like both of them (i have been on zoom calls in friend groups with zachary lately and although he is pretty quiet he seems like a nice person) (and i think i know johnny from a sequester mini before and hes a brother of aepi which is basically the partner fraternity to the sorority i was in called aephi and so were basically connected by greek life blood because hes a pi and im a phi and yas Jews -Okay anyway i volunteer to not be a tribe captain because 1. i didnt want the blood on my hands for picking a tribe (memories of svalbard ahhhh) and 2. i wanted to be on johnny's tribe hehehehe. so i did that and then i let johnny pick first and guess what!! he picked me first on his tribe!! even before anyone from his og tribe!! i thought that was weird but really cool -the new tribe seemed pretty cool and chill and i thought i was digging everyone BUT THEN kyle makes fucking COMMENTS ABOUT JEW STEREOTYPES and i was like SIR and i kinda missed everything in the heat of the moment but basically kyle got removed and im not surprised he did because to my knowledge, i already know of three fkn jews on our tribe (benji me and johnny) and we have a jew host so like why kyle would make comments like that is beyond me but WHY DO I KEEP GETTING PUT ON TRIBES WITH CRAZY PPL -anyway right now i adore johnny and i want to work with him i feel like he and i vibe so well together and we are already planning on making a stoner alliance with abi and jay from his OG tribe lmfaooo -i also like grace and julian on my tribe and benji so far is really cool and isabelle is a sweetheart so i really just hope we dont lose the next challenge and have to vote someone out because i like these people so far and i wanna get to know them more -this has been a really mentally difficult week both in game and in real life and im sorry i havent been doing more confessionals but ive really just needed a huge break due to everything thats been going on 

I've locked in a five person alliance with original An (Johnny Isabelle and Benji), plus Adam. Johnny I'm connected to with Trace, Isabelle and I somehow both go to Georgetown, and I like speaking with Benji. I don't know how this alliance interacts with original alliance, that's future me's problem, but I really like this group

---

If Megan “may have accidentally” found out information from the other tribe, then I “may have accidentally” decided to shift the target onto her. Somebody not purely abiding by the rules of the game is somebody I won’t completely trust

So JJ and Kyle both got removed. OOP!!! Now to figure out how messy this game is gonna be. Will Will and I be able to play middle for our first tribal and get to choose between returnees and newbies? hopefully. More on that scoop later! 

https://youtu.be/vGd9Ik49CmU Confessional #10 (Round 4 Confessional #3)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stpzz7-cKUg

Confessional 11: https://youtu.be/ad2R99H1g1k

https://youtu.be/PjodrB6CgLo

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https://youtu.be/y0n7YKB0EF0

NOOOOOOO HOW COULD WE OF LOST we had everything planned i do feel kinda safe I've talked to abby mostly and i think i have a girls alliance in the works with her but for now being the only two female identifying people on the tribe. We have to pull in some boys but we've got our old tribe mates which lucky for me is my main alliance from that tribe not having Michael is a big yay because love him but pretty sure he was planning on flipping on us to work with some people from the an tribe but ya know it is what it is and hopefully this is the only trival Council we have to go to and hopefully from the sounds of it it's Eric going home so hopefully that's the case and i don't end up voinv home because FYCUCJUCK THAT SHIT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9YueU_paNg&feature=youtu.be

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Of the players left on my tribe, I think Megan is the biggest threat to my game, with many cross-tribe ties. Last night, I began laying the groundwork with Johnny of eventually making her the target, without expressly stating my desire to vote her out. We'll see how this plays out, but I want Megan out first

---

From the other tribe, I badly want an original An to go. It takes away an option from the Ans on my swap tribe and locks them in more with me, while preserving my options. On the flip side, a Triforce member going is the worst case scenario for the exact same reason as above, this time benefiting original An. Original Enlil going is fairly neutral

https://youtu.be/7IpJ1SC2ah8

So we lost :( It really sucks bc i put more effort into my lip sync than I think I ever have before. And of course with losing comes tribal, the first tribal for some people on my new tribe. I don't think I've done a confessional since we swapped so I'll just run down how I feel about everyone. Monty/Abby - Just gonna bunch these two together since they were on my original tribe. While they weren't in my alliance, I bonded with them like I bonded with everyone on An. We made an alliance immediately at Ea and I feel real good about facing this swap with them. Part of me does worry they knew about that original alliance and they'll throw me under the bus though. Will - Okay so I was completely blindsided by the fact that I already knew Will before the game! We played at least 1 ORG together and I remember him a little bit from just being in the community. I feel like I've really hit it off with him again and working with him feels natural. He was the first one who threw Cameron out as a vote to me last night and a lot of people really latched onto that plan. So he's definitely charismatic and influential. Eric - I've known Eric for quite some time actually. He's someone who's very easy for me to trust. Like I really hope I'm not getting the wrong read on him but he just feels honest in our conversations. He did kinda suck in the music video challenge tho LOL so I feel like he could be in danger if we go to tribal again. Cameron - They're who I'm voting out tonight. I've had no contact with them outside of the tribe chat at all. And our interactions in the tribe chat I just feel...idk like every time I talk they give me some snide remark. Zach even told me that Cameron barely spoke to him and Collin on their original tribe. So it just feels easy, if a bit TOO easy, like I'm scared it's secretly me somehow. So I guess the upside to anxiety is you never get blindsided cuz you always think it's you. Zach - I've been talking to him more often these last few days and he is wayyy smarter than most 15 year olds I've interacted with. He knew it was Cameron immediately when I started talking to him about the vote (Though I suspect it's because Will told him). He's told me more info about his original tribe than I really thought I'd get out of him. He's basically telling me that it was Zach/Collin/Kyle vs. Cameron/The rest of the newbies. So like it makes sense that he's willing to just let Cameron go. However this situation is worrying because Zach's position is almost EXACTLY my position in a game I played very recently (703 San Andres). I've seen firsthand how a competent duo in the minority can upset the majority if just one person in that majority makes a mistake. So I'm not gonna promise Zach anything just yet, I don't want him to sell me out. But I would like to see him stick around even if we lose another time. Collin - Okay I REALLY like Collin. He's super nice, he basically compliments me every time I talk to him. Which is nice, but I know he's playing that social game. And he's playing it WELL. I think if all goes well at tribal, then I'm gonna talk to Collin about really working together going forward. Basically my overarching plan on this tribe has been to make sure that if my name comes up, there will always be someone to shut it down. And I really feel like Collin, Monty, and Eric would especially keep me safe. 

Cameron left.......it sucks, because it takes away my options, but among the Enki's it is the least bad scenario, since I was closer with Collin and Zach. I don't hold it against them for voting against Cameron, do what you gotta do, but I am nervous for them. I'm not throwing any challenges or anything, but I hope they survive, and I'm less nervous about myself losing than them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kWts3h2n9s

hi hi hi so far so good on the Ea tribe! i dont think anyone know about zach and i so we're remaining in the clear hehe (he has been a little difficult to corral tho) i feel like im making good connections so far so hopefully ill remain utr and if we go back to tribal i wont be a target, and if we dont i hope the other tribe takes out a big target for us

Have I mentioned that I love winning? It's just so great that nobody knows me and Monty are working together and we're subtly pulling the strings - Jay thinks he came up with Cameron's name, great he's the mastermind now and we can target him. Collin and Zach want to form a four with me and Eric - great, that keeps me and Monty apart so nobody will know and we can still vote separately. Eric's an easy target for everyone so we (Monty) just get the other returnees to target him (if we lose again) and then I can use that to flip Eric on Abby or Jay and it's just... so delicious. It's so easy to take everyone out one by one when nobody knows that you have a solid F2 already.

https://youtu.be/CVG2Z_-XjBM from this past round

https://youtu.be/yMGLsGhv6wc Confessional 12

https://youtu.be/ylahV3wyXrs

Cameron voted out 7-1

[thotful-alien]

Comphet makes so much sense

I've had obsessive crushes on guys my whole life. I remember writing about my infatuations in my journals since I was a kid. I never seriously acted upon these crushes, though. They were usually unattainable. The few times a guy expressed interest in me first, I freaked out, I'd avoid them. Or if I indulged them and they went in for a kiss, I felt sick to my stomach. I found reasons for them to not be good enough for me. But I'd tell myself to give them a chance even when I wanted to run away screaming, and I ended up in unfulfilling uncomfortable scenarios.

What I wanted was validation and attention from my objects of desire. A relationship in which I was pursued was unsatisfactory. I tried hard to feel excited but something was missing. I was just along for the ride, trying to figure out if I was broken inside and incapable love.

My past infatuations included:

- Professors MUCH older than me

- boys older than me

- Taken guys who were dating my friends

- Gay guys

- an actual abusive Sociopath

- Tom Hiddleston as Loki

- guys who didn't acknowledge me outside of class

The first man I convinced myself I was in love with was dating an ex-friend of mine. He and I were good friends and I let my infatuation bloom, I even eventually told myself I was physically attracted to him, that he's the only guy I'd actually marry and have kids with. But fast forward 3 years, when he was finally single and hit me up, I didn't want to pursue him even though I was *so* in love with him throughout the years. I just felt powerful that he desired me. I lost all serious interest. He came over one evening 2 years ago and his car got towed so he slept on my couch. At one point he woke me up asking if he could cuddle me and I said yes, and that moment was like so satisfying because I finally got what I thought I wanted from him. I didn't actually physically feel butterflies. He later asked me to be his Valentine and I said yes, but he didn't see me that day and left for New Zealand a few weeks later. I was only a little sad tbh. I feel like I still love him but as a platonic friend.

A lot of taken guys that I'm close to develop crushes on me, it feels powerful for a while but then I'm just uncomfortable with it, I just wish I could be best friends with men without them feeling anything about me.

I find that's true in general. I just want to be left alone. If a cute guy seems to be interested in me, I find every flaw possible to justify not wanting to indulge him. I just want to be "bros" with boys. I get nervous if I feel them checking me out. Even objectively attractive men make me nervous, and I'm not physically attracted to them and I don't see myself in a relationship with them.

In fact I've set impossible standards in place and I don't even see a man in my future at all. When I envision my future I see me, a cat, some house plants, and being the "cool aunt" babysitter at family gatherings when my brothers have kids. I have zero desire to pursue men at all.

I was dumped last month by a guy I decided to trust even though the first time he kissed me I freaked out and wanted to vomit. I told myself it was PTSD from a past experience and to get over myself and give him a chance because he's a good friend of my brothers' and he was really charming and easy to talk to. As the relationship continued he turned out to be a fucking narcissist, so that's fun, but I had to force myself to find him attractive and overlook the fact that I felt nothing towards him physically and kinda just ignored his corporeal form. He treated me great at first so I ignored my gut feelings. I grew to like the idea of him and the idea of our future because it would be so convenient since he's close to my family already. But when I imagined us long-term, I grew incredibly sad. I knew that I didn't want to actually settle down with him yet, because I wanted to be with a woman. That thought never went away.

The relationship went to shit and I've been recovering for a month now but I feel freed in a sense because I want to finally be with a woman. That idea is so exciting to me. I've always been attracted to women and I only acknowledged it at age 19 and I told myself I was bi because of my past infatuations for men. But accepting that I like girls was such a huge moment for me, I'd been repressing those feelings my whole life. I wasn't doing a good job apparently because everyone around me thought I was gay before I even entertained the idea.

I was actually kinda bullied and made fun of because everyone thought I was gay. Thankfully in marching band there were HELLA queer folks and I ended up running with the crowd that grew up to be members of the LGBT+ community. They all thought I was gay, too. Not even bi, just straight up gay. But I was too defensive about it and kept ignoring my feelings. I only had one real boyfriend in highschool and that was my senior year, it lasted until after my first semester in college until I broke it off. I never felt excited about him, he stopped communicating, so I found reasons to decide I shouldn't be in a relationship with him. He didn't do anything wrong per se, I just knew I couldn't be with him anymore.

That was my first serious relationship, and the longest one I had. The last one I got out of was only 4 months. And the entire time I was wishing I could be with a woman instead.

In the past I've entertained the idea of being a lesbian instead of being bi, since the only times I've been excited about someone hitting on me have been when they were women. I always had a special soft spot for my friends growing up. I realized last year that I felt love for my straight best friend. Something about women is just so exciting, they make me feel warm and get the butterflies, I blush and look away when I see a beautiful girl on campus. My Instagram feed is full of beautiful models and makeup artists, as well as traditional artists that draw women, and I'm just so drawn to appreciating women's bodies and their beauty.

Even drawing a woman gets me all excited and tingly. I never feel like that with men, even picturesque guys that are objectively attractive. I seriously thought I was asexual until I acknowledged my very real attraction to women.

In video games where you can woo a woman, I get so fucking excited for the chance to do so. Growing up (and still now) I occasionally make lesbian couples on the Sims, and I always felt this guilty excitement when they would kiss.

The first fantasy that excited me as a teenager that wasn't some fucked up power scenario was me imagining I was playing 7 minutes in heaven and getting paired up with a girl.

I've felt over the past few years that I'm definitely more on the gay side of the bisexual spectrum. But now I'm feeling like I really am a lesbian. I looked up comphet when I was searching for answers online and the masterdoc I found just perfectly described my life, I felt like I was seen and understood for the first time. I think everyone around me was right that I'm actually gay as fuck. Throughout my shitty relationship I found myself looking longingly at beautiful women and feeling like something in my life was missing. After things ended I wrote in my journals that I wished I were a lesbian. And finding the masterdoc was so affirming for me! I want to shout it from the rooftops but I'm afraid people will think it's just because I broke up last month and I'm just "done" dealing with men. But I feel like this chance to reflect upon myself has brought me to acknowledge that I'm Gay as FUCK. And that my feelings for men were comphet.

I previously identified as bisexual, and this is in no way being biphobic or dismissive, I will fight to the teeth to defend the legitimacy of bisexual folks, fight their erasure, and that they belong in queer spaces and queer discourse. I just, I think I just took a really long time to unravel my feelings, and I feel like I'm realizing at age 25 that I am, indeed, a lesbian.

It's a difficult feeling because I feel finally that I've found a label that fits me, but I've been out as Bi for years now and even though my immediate family never pressured me to settle down with a man and pop out babies, I feel like it was a choice I HAD to make. Like I had to just hang up my Bi flag and become a housewife. But I don't want that. I don't see myself with a man in the future. And if I want kids I can find a sperm donor. I think I'm feeling the loss of "the option" of living a straight life. But I don't want that at all. So it's difficult unwrapping myself from that expectation.

But yeah I'm fairly certain that I'm a lesbian, I feel like I need to tell people but I don't know how to go about doing it and I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously even though my immediate family is 100% supportive and accepting. I don't know how or when to come out to people. I'm still dealing with self doubt. But I'm fucking GAY GOD DAMNIT and I feel like everyone has to know!

Fuck.

Anyway of you read this really, I really appreciate it. This is a huge transformative moment for me.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine season five full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

68.18% (fifteen of twenty-two).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

30.03%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Two (episode seventeen ‘DFW’ (42.85%), and episode twenty-one ‘White Whale’ (42.85%)).

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

One (episode nine ‘99′ (15.38%)).

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirty-two. Four who appeared in more than one episode, three who appeared in at least half the episodes, and ZERO who appeared in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Sixty-four. Thirteen who appeared in more than one episode, six who appeared in at least half the episodes, and three who appeared in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Fairly standard expectations for this show, that is: above-average compared to most tv. That said, their biggest progressive move of the season came off more prescribed than genuine to me, and sometimes I felt like they were including little remarks and things just to half-ass being ‘on brand’ rather than because they actually believe in it. This season often lacked the heart to make its social commentary really land (average rating of 3.04).

General Season Quality:

They had a whole bunch of good episodes around the middle of the season, but they started and ended weak, and a lot of the story and characterisation is starting to meander and go stale. They lifted their game in season four, but this feels like a return to the dissatisfaction that was rife in season three. 

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Well, this is the worst they’ve done on the male:female ratio, decisively. It’s not the worst they’ve done on the Bechdel, but it is worse than what it has been in recent seasons. And while the positive content score is above average, outside of the single episode which raised that score they really did a lot less to impress than what I would consider this show’s standard (and even that one episode, I maintain, could have been much better). Setting aside the critical aspect of what I do here to speak on a pure entertainment level, this season seriously lacked one of the best qualities of the show in previous seasons, which was the basic guarantee of a good time; some episodes will always be better than others, but if nothing else, you used to be able to rely on that good time. There were no episodes this season that were just utter garbage, no, but if I were a casual viewer, then the majority of this season would probably fail to hold my attention or convince me to tune in next week, and that’s not what you want. As ever, when the show is good it is really, really good, but when it is bad it is DEEPLY mediocre, feeling phoned-in or, sometimes, like it was written by someone who does not understand the appeal of this show in the first place. To touch on some various aspects of all of the above, lets talk about character arcs.

Now, I am not one of those people who believes that every character has to have a definable ‘arc’. They really don’t. What they DO need is to feel like they’re part of the story for a reason, and giving them their own task or journey which traditionally lays out in an arc format tends to be the go-to method for achieving that. It is easily possible to have a character without a personal arc still fit into the story and feel necessary and wanted: my case in point for this season of B99 is Terry. Terry was seriously underused, and that’s a shame because he’s great, and yes, giving him some kind of arc to bring him to the fore a few times across the season would almost definitely have been a good move...but. The fact that he had no arc to speak of did not render his character obsolete, and he worked and played really well as a character whose stability can be an anchoring quality for the show sometimes: Terry is still a reliable good time, even if the writing is sliding in other places. Vitally, there is a confidence about the way that Terry is presented which allows his character to function fully regardless of the attention level; I would have LIKED more Terry, but his character is firmly established as a constant such that he can occupy a regular space without seeming superfluous. On the flip side of that, we have...Gina.

I’ve never ‘got’ Gina in that fan-favourite way that has worked for so many people, and her selfishness and her constant put-downs have often made her the antithesis of the feel-good mentality that - to me - has defined what makes this show worthwhile when it is at its best. But, setting aside my personal opinion of Gina as a character, this season failed utterly to achieve the very thing they used as the driving purpose of her return to the show at mid-season: to prove that she is ‘needed’. Real-life maternity leave is necessary and I would never advocate for axing a character just because the actor needs the time off, so I’m not suggesting they should have just ditched her and moved on despite Chelsea Peretti’s evident desire to return to the show, but what they NEEDED to do was to...give Gina literally anything meaningful to do once she returned, in order to re-establish her as someone with a reason to be around. They didn’t. Even the one subplot where Gina admits to Terry that she’s having a hard time balancing being a working mother lacked the impact to drive home a real-life struggle, and that’s pretty dire; Gina never felt right, when she was around at all, and it made the decision to bring her back on board after the show had got on just fine without her for half a season feel like one long false note. How hard would it have been to turn that weakly-delivered subplot into a proper mini-arc as Gina settled back in to work? How hard would it have been to make it clear that becoming a mother has changed Gina in a fashion which plays out in the long-term instead of just being a few remarks she made in a single episode? These are trick questions, of course. It’s not hard. It requires a bare minimum of effort which usually doesn’t even register AS effort, it’s just the writer asking themselves the question ‘What is going on with this character right now?’ and then answering it in their script. That’s just how basic character consistency works, really. And yet, they fumbled it.

In other dissatisfying news, we have the ‘Sad Excuse For An Arc’, featuring Charles Boyle. I really wish that I never had to talk about Charles again because I really hate him, for reasons elucidated constantly across my posts for this entire series which ultimately boil (heh) down to him being an emotionally manipulative nightmare of a person with possessive overtones who regularly disrespects and disrupts the lives around him without ever taking proper responsibility for his actions or recognising and working on his desperate need for self-improvement, and who somehow continues to be packaged by the narrative as just ‘ha-ha well-meaning but awkward’ while other characters pander to his manipulations and weather the many and sundry inconveniences he introduces to their lives without complaint. I still haven’t forgotten that he was an A-grade creep to Rosa in the first season and the show just kinda glossed over it and never mentioned it again, because damn, maybe if they had owned their mistake and had Charles actively tackle his flaws back then, they might have inadvertently written the character with literally any kind of development over the course of five freakin’ seasons. Because as-is, he has not changed at all since the show started (even adopting a child hasn’t changed him, it just gives him something to reference every now and then - what is it with this show and failing to incorporate major home-life changes (LITERAL! CHILDREN!!) into the character’s daily lives?), and this is how we end up with an ‘arc’ like that crap with Charles and the food truck. It goes like this: Charles buys food truck. Charles is a megalomaniac asshole chef in the food truck (significant food wastage ensues). Charles’ food truck gets destroyed. Three episodes across the season, one two three, and only the last one is the A plot of the episode instead of a minor subplot. And this? This is Charles’ personal story for the entire season. Unfortunately, he’s around constantly in the rest of the season as well and it feels like there were nowhere near enough episodes which offered a reprieve from his noxious personality, so he doesn’t suffer from Gina syndrome in the sense of seeming pointless, but that kinda...proves my point about arcs. The one Charles has here is a joke, and not the funny kind. He was used excessively throughout the rest of the season without the assistance of an ‘arc’ to legitimise his presence, he didn’t NEED one to function in the season, but the Sad Excuse For An Arc that he DID have only highlighted the wider problem of the character over the whole series thus far, which is that he has NEVER had an arc which brought about meaningful development or change.

And then there was Rosa. There was actually a sneakier amount of character fodder for Rosa this season than what may seem immediately obvious: the dominant development was her bisexuality, but there were also other pieces to pick up with her reconnecting with her family after her stint in prison, and also some welcome focus on her career in the latter end of the season (notably ‘Show Me Going’ and ‘White Whale’), which did a solid job of re-anchoring the character professionally after a season disproportionately interested in her romantic life. I feel very cynical, complaining about the bisexuality storyline, and I’d like to reiterate that I am genuinely glad to have this openly-declared positive representation for a frequently ill-treated branch of the big queer tree. I stand in unequivocal solidarity with my bisexual brethren. THAT SAID. I also sincerely dislike the way this show went about including bisexuality as a part of Rosa’s character, and it’s because of the ‘arc’ element: specifically, that the ‘arc’ is literally just about her being attracted to women. Rosa’s ‘coming out’ is not the arc - there is just the one Very Special episode about that specifically - and I’m ok with that because it’s rare to have a character whose queer sexuality is revealed comparatively late in a story without it being a revelation for the character themselves and not just the people around them. My problem is that - once the bisexual cat is out of the bag - the way the show packages the arc is just to double down, triple down on reminding the audience that Rosa is into women, is dating women, is being set up with women, is being wowed by hot women she sees...and there is no further mention of her interest in men. After four seasons of her only ever being depicted in relationships with men or having active interest in men, the narrative packages her coming out as bisexual in the same way as shows typically package a character realising that they’re gay: by giving them conspicuous subplots that revolve specifically around same-gender attraction. And that comes across to me as a brownie-points grab, as performative queer content designed to get attention, rather than the kind of inclusive representation I have celebrated this show for in the past re: Holt. It feels like the writers aren’t comfortable with the reality of Rosa’s bisexuality, that they’re subscribing to the idea that if she’s shown to be still interested in men that she’ll become magically not-queer and they’ll lose their brownie points, and so they’re throwing women at her in the kinds of meaningless subplots that they never assigned to the character before she came out. As a rule, if you treat a character differently for being queer than you would if they were straight, that’s bad representation. The way that Rosa’s life is presented to us should not spontaneously change just because we know she also likes women, especially because this is the status quo for her; the ‘arc’ here is about the expectation of an audience reaction, and not actually about the character at all. 

The good news? Jake, Amy, and Holt all have successful, meaningful arcs this season, with Jake and Amy’s journey from engagement to marriage, and Holt’s gambit for his dream job as commissioner. While both arcs came to lacklustre closes in the predictable season finale, through the course of the season they supplied various A and B plots, never slipping entirely from the audience’s memory or causing glitches in the sense of character or narrative continuity, but also never dominating the show in a manner that became distracting or tedious. Both plots were told as stories, with ups and downs and complications large or small, like proper arcs instead of perfunctory beginning-middle-end or ‘three times makes it a pattern’ ideas (which is more than I can say for the Seamus Murphy misfire which made a Sad Excuse For An Arc for the first half of the season at large - it may have ended on a high note, but it failed to generate any tension as a long-term plot or deliver on its initial promises from the ultimately-weak time-wasting two-part premiere). Honestly, as a whole this season felt like they were winging it on the bulk of the story, with the Peralta-Santiago wedding and the fate of Holt’s career the only things that were planned for the finale from the outset and everything else just fabricated as they went along, and the looseness of the entire rest of the season is the messy disappointing result of the ‘we’ll figure it out when we get there’ ethos. Last season had me so hopeful for the show getting back on track, getting back to its roots and remembering what made it work with quality story for the characters, a solid narrative backbone, and a social compass at the forefront. After the vague characterisation of this season, the shapeless meandering of so much filler plot, and commentary that was ham-fisted and anvilicious when it was there at all...It’s not like this was bad. It wasn’t bad. It was just so much less than what I expected or hoped to see.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep 46 Part 1: Young Marik Goes to a Craft Fair/Immediately Murders His Own Dad

Ah Yugioh, last episode got pretty weird, and this one, I’m pleased to say, is that much weirder.

We start with Mokuba, who either has a PHD in languages studies, or is just completely full of BS. And, when it comes to the Kaibas, we’ll just never know. It could go either way and I’d absolutely buy it.

Of course, none of this matters since Kaiba is cursed, in case you forgot. His curse is a lot easier than everyone else’s because all he does is vibe with a ancient relic he refuses to think is real and then hallucinate his dead wife he refuses to talk about.

I am still kind of reeling over the fact that Seto’s Previous-Life’s Dead Wife is Blue Eyes is canon. I’m sure they thought turning this card into a person would be simple and fun. It’s still fun, for me, for that room of writers that now has to untangle this mess they just created? Yeah good freakin luck with that.

Also, I forgot something last episode.

Much better. Seto’s catching up, slowly but surely, to Marik.

(read more under the cut)

And I mean...Seto is just low-key unaware that he’s vaguely obsessed with his Great^nth Grandma, right? Like that’s the canon? Nice. I mean there’s a 5000 year difference and she is like a card, so...legally it’s fine, whatever, it’s not like they can ever hook up.

But like...didn’t Seto tear a Blue Eyes completely in half in the first episode? That’s kind of messed up now! Granted, back in Episode 1 the writers probably didn’t know that 1 season later they’d all be sitting around a table and going like “so...what if they were married???”

Like...how weird is it now that Grandpa still has that torn up Blue Eyes?

(I say as if this is a big deal on a show where the canon flagship relationship of Yugi and Tea involves Yugi who is 3 people and Tea who is, as we find out at the end of this episode, also 3 people. Mind you, 2 of those people is just 2 Bakuras, but it’s still an awkward 5-way. Who would they even be kissing if they were kissing? ((JK we all know it would just be Bakura and Bakura)) )

Does Grandpa and Arthur even realize how freakin weird it is that their token of eternal friendship/marriage is literally the dead waifu of that random rich guy over there? That Arthur was like “remember my not-romantic love always, by wifing with this wife who is also my wife. Goodbyyyyyye.”

Was Episode 1 just Kaiba walking in on a three way with his predestined card-ex? Was that how he got so freakin pissed? It actually would make more sense than what actually happened. And like I’m pretty sure that particular Blue Eyes chose Grandpa over Seto so, what even is that? Is that like a divorce or something?

Also, and this is the most important thing about this entire situation, did Pegasus really try like a billion times to resurrect his dead wife unsuccessfully (I hope) but TOTALLY resurrected Kaiba’s dead wife in the process? Like, just by accident he resurrected not just any dead wife’s soul into a playing card but his sworn enemy that Pegasus super tried to murder and destroy that one time? Like damn, that’s some good irony right there.

...it’s a lot to process in a show where like 4 people are also body swapping at the same time.

Anyway, back to this episode, Seto can also read this Ra card. But, I assume he cannot marry it because he and three of the four sides of his Blue Eyes Wife have just changed their status from “It’s complicated” to “It’s still complicated” (the fourth version hanging out with Solomon Muto is still card divorced and living her best life)

Faced with definitive proof that all this is absolutely real, Kaiba never actually graduates from the Denial step to any of the other steps of acceptance.

Neither would I. Neither would I.

Never forget, that him actually accepting any of this makes him a widow to a freakin paper freakin card.

I will say, that my prediction that Kaiba’s relationships, if he ever got into one, wouldn’t last more than 2 minutes apiece came true in the weirdest way possible.

I’m glad we got this lore bomb that will disappear into the Yugioh’s forgotten plot-threads graveyard faster than you can say “and then Bakura put a piece of his soul into the Millennium Puzzle.”

Speaking of,

And so enters our exposition, who decided to actually leave her bedroom and see what else is on this blimp. Took her long enough. If she had come out, I dunno, before Joey dueled, then her brother, Odion would have never been struck by lightning since she could’ve been like “lol guy’s, that’s not Marik” but wtv. Nice to see you, Ishizu. You are late, as usual.

Also, the art team left us a breathtaking still life.

Meanwhile, holed up in this room staring at Mai Valentine for the last 30 minutes on this little aqua cube, Serenity has decided she is done with this BS they keep calling a card game. I guess her vow to be brave and suck it up lasted all of half an hour.

And it was during this complete 12yo meltdown that Ishizu was like “oh, that reminds me, I also have a brother who’s having a complete meltdown” As if this would somehow help Serenity feel any better about being trapped on a blimp with them.

So, Ishizu takes a very long sip of water and starts her very long story about When Marik Truly Went Evil But This Time The Flashback’s For Reals Last Time He Was Kind of Evil But This Time We’re For Serious Telling You Exactly The Moment He Went Cray.

Please admire the nonsense stairs and columns supporting nothing in this image. Nice.

Now before, I knew they lived underground but I kinda figured they left occasionally to get snacks and pick up babies from the side of the road. Apparently it’s only certain people who can do that, so not only has this kid been living underground but he has never seen sunlight.

But here’s my question um--what happened to all the other cultists? Like we’re assuming that we have 5000 years of an underground situation, and if their growth happens geometrically since human beings tend to have multiple children, then there should be like thousands of people down here. Like SO MANY people. Was there some sort of plague? Did all the cultists just keep killing each other as each one went completely mad down here? Like, what’s the story?

I have made so many jokes about Marik being a crafty bastard who knits hats but I kid you not he literally went to the flea market. He has only one hour in the real world and all he wants is to see the Handmade Industry.

Again, Marik would be the hero in any YA dystopian novel, guys. Any of them. Like I’m pretty sure I read three separate books by three separate people in the late 2000′s about underground mole people cults and Marik would have been the hero in every single one of them. Leave it to Yugioh.

Odion decided to stay behind as a lookout rather than go outside in the stinky sunlight, meaning that Marik got to feel a sunburn for the very first time ever as he looked directly into it’s surface.

So I can see the allusion that they wanted to make. That without light you can never see shadow--and that because he literally stepped out into the light, his shadow was finally able to fully manifest itself for the first time.

But...Marik was locked underground, how long could he have realistically lasted before losing his mind just like his Father already has?

And then Marik finds the one relic that truly drives him mad, a discarded magazine. But not that type of magazine. I’m actually not quite sure what type of magazine this would be, TBH. it’s got some REALLY good anime soda on the back, and then pets, and then autos? I don’t know.

This motorcycle had spooky music and everything. Truly the embodiment of evil, a mid-30′s gentleman driving to work with a sensible helmet.

He also saw a TV and confused the hell out of this vase salesman.

And then, no weird episode is truly weird enough without an abrupt visit from Shadi.

So they rush back home to the very obvious cellar door in the middle of the desert that no one except for this cult has ever found.

But, unfortunately, these kids are really, really dumb and so because Shadi told them to go the hell back home, Shadi set in motion the tools needed to send Marik completely off the deep end.

So Shadi is just really really bad at his job or he really wants to watch it burn, I’m thinking probably both.

We get a voice-over from Ishizu that Marik’s father was using the rod on Odion but we don’t actually see much. I think a bunch of this probably got edited out because obviously, abuse is something you can’t really show on kid’s daytime TV, although...they kinda did anyway.

OH.

I mean, he is possessed so like he would act real different but there was absolutely no fighting back on Marik’s part to kill his own Dad. He just straight up went for it. Complete 180 on this character in a matter of time it takes to look at a picture of a motorcycle.

And so, Evil Marik decides it’s time to kill Odion, much like he’s been trying to do in our current timeline, but seeing his older brother snaps Marik out of it, which would have been just real confusing for him. I mean Yugi’s snapped out of his Pharaoh blackouts in strange positions, sure, but this one in particular is like “wow I just killed my Dad.” If he even knows.

Bro was saying he actually didn’t know at this point. Of course my Bro has a lot of spicy Yugioh headcanons and he’s becoming less and less reliable the more we watch. (Bros editorial note: how does one remember what actually happens in this show?)

Why were you even here Shadi!? Just to be judgy and then peace out? Like back in Season Zero it felt like Shadi had a...job. Here he’s just like...watching the show with me. He’s just the most useless millennium item, I swear.

After this sad tale, at least we have Joey to remind us that Marik’s killed 100+ people since then.

So yeah, Marik killed his Dad because he saw a Motorcycle.

Literally killed his Dad because he saw a motorcycle and it awoke a desire in him to leave the nest, and then Odion got beat up because Ishizu was too dumb to ever notice that they had an alarm on the freakin front hole in the ground.

A Motorcycle.

And we can pretty much assume that his Dad’s been threatening to kick out Odion basically forever to get Marik to stay put, right? That this has definately happened before but this time...there was a motorcycle.

Truly evil, motorcycles.

In this show where one guy was literally dueling Yugi while tying him to a bandsaw--those motorcycles though. Pure satan.

Bro just asked me that if Pharaoh’s tomb had free wifi, Would people live there on purpose and I’m just going to leave that there.

Anyway, here’s a link to read these in order from S1 Ep1

[scratchface]

Long Overdue Thoughts on 71-76

There’s... a lot of ground to cover here. Considering I binged all five episodes, I might also be missing some things. I’ll have to comb over the episodes more closely later. 

Jumping right into it, Bohman’s dueling now completely emulates Yusaku’s style, particularly with the almost excessive abuse of graveyard effects and link-spamming (I say with the utmost affection). Yusaku deciding to trust Ai’s judgement, and then refusing to let Ai blame himself when it goes wrong, was a nice touch. But I’m not sure it will be a good thing in the long run, especially considering how shaky Ai’s current allegiance is. But Yusaku knows better than anyone that Ai is an untrustworthy liar, and sticks with him anyway.

In regards to Ai having instinct, this relates quite a bit to the last section part four of my Yusaku analysis. Ai really does have something AIs shouldn’t have, while Yusaku seems to lack the very same thing, whether you call it self-preservation, fear, or instinct. It looks like Vrains really is going to confirm that Ai took more than he was supposed to from Yusaku, or possibly even pursue the switching angle (Ai is the human and Yusaku is the AI). 

Ryoken showing up at the hotdog truck again was a treat. He casually reminded Kusanagi (and us viewers hint hint) how important Kusanagi is to Yusaku’s peace of mind. It goes to show Ryoken’s genuine concern for Yusaku’s wellbeing, and his desire to fight Yusaku fairly, with both of them at their best. I’ll come back to this when I talk about Ryoken and Yusaku’s next meeting, which shows us the darker side of Ryoken’s investment in Yusaku. Gotta say, it was cute how Yusaku had zero hesitation. He really believes that Ryoken won’t use underhanded tactics against him. Like hell Yusaku would ever doubt his special person’s intentions towards him, I suppose. 

Earth was very likable, in the end, and his death was upsetting. There are few more terrible ways to die than being cut to pieces, gradually losing everything bit by bit. I hope Queen suffers for this one. Both Go and Akira come out the other side looking bad too; Go for completely losing his sense of right and wrong, and Akira for his powerlessness and inability to control or protect anything (seems to be a running theme with Akira; where’s it going?). I do have to wonder why he sticks with SOL, despite everything; it’s clear Queen isn’t going to allow him to use his position to help Playmaker or do right by the Ignis. (I get why he has to be there plot-wise; Aoi and Ema need an inside source of information.) I can’t help but think he’d at the very least be more effective doing literally anything else.

And then there’s Go, who has really, really lost it at this point. It’s pretty sad to see him twisted like this, but I figured that so long as he stuck with the “gotta be number one” mindset, he would keep on falling until he hit rock bottom. But the introduction of AI implants opens lots of interesting doors: like, couldn’t Lightning put AIs in those implants and put those implants in people in his conquering humanity scenario? Gotta hand it to SOL, if there’s one thing they’re good at, it’s inventing humanity’s doom. Plus, Go seeing a “new world” within the network...it’s very reminiscent of Yusaku’s Link Sense. Does Yusaku already have an AI implanted in his brain (is he the AI implanted in his own brain?)?

But all this talk of “becoming one with an AI” makes me really think we might be seeing a Yusaku/Ai fusion someday. That might be the best shot of beating Bohman next time; combining Yusaku’s skill and logic with Ai’s instincts and unpredictability, into what could even be considered to be the “original Fujiki Yusaku”...

In the early days of Vrains, a lot of people theorized Go would end up teaming with the Earth Ignis; I wonder if that’s still in the future? If Earth can be restored, or if he managed to hide a copy of his programming. Everyones’ reaction to his death had a sense of finality, but I do think Earth will be coming back, if only because of the combined Ignis Bohman was talking about being the vessel for (and because I want to see Earth and Spectre interacting). I think Lightning is going to want Earth’s data back for that project.

Maybe all the Ignis will end up being combined together in Bohman and we’ll finally get to see a Divine Ignis. It is very interesting that out of anyone or anything, Lightning decided that the ultimate Ignis should be based on Yusaku (+Ai, who was also based on Yusaku). But it also makes a lot of sense; Yusaku has already proven that he’s the best duelist in Vrains and, in the eyes of the Ignis probably, the pinnacle of humanity’s potential. Instead of basing an AI on an AI based on a human, Lightning might as well default straight to the best of the original goods, plus the results of the original Hanoi Project. It also makes sense; Ai was born from Yusaku being forced to duel what we presume to be an AI over and over again, and Bohman was finalized the same way: by dueling Yusaku over and over, and watching his previous matches.  

I gotta wonder how Ryoken set up that conversation with Yusaku. They’re clearly at Stardust Road, but I don’t think Kusanagi would casually set up shop there of all places anymore. 

Did Ryoken call Yusaku up and tell him to come by?

The whole reason Ryoken gave them the program IRL was because he wanted to avoid Lightning’s monitoring. We can assume that’s why they were having the Earth convo IRL too; but the fact that they’re having this conversation at all suggests that Ryoken and Yusaku now feel comfortable sharing what they know with each other. The fact that Ryoken callously used that as an opportunity to incite Ai’s resentment towards humanity right in front of Yusaku’s eyes is...well, there’s a lot to unpack in this short scene. 

Clearly a little delighted by Earth’s fate, Ryoken is still trying to drive a wedge between Yusaku and Ai; this tentative alliance they have now might exist for entirely that purpose. It allows Ryoken to take the steps necessary to keep Yusaku out of Lightning’s hands, while pushing Ai towards “revealing” that he’s been humanity’s enemy all along. It’s twisted, but really adds a fascinating element to Ryoken’s character. He sees that the easiest way to get rid of Ai is to dissolve the bond between Ai and Yusaku.

That, or Ryoken is trying to create distance between Ai and Yusaku emotionally. He’s still determined to destroy Ai, but he knows that will hurt Yusaku, so maybe he hopes to lessen that future blow for Yusaku a bit. Either way, it’s not entirely fair to blame Ryoken for being such a jerk; he no doubt believes he’s doing the right thing for Yusaku and all of humanity. 

At the same time: Ryoken, you bastard. (I love you)

On Yusaku’s end, its nice to see that while he trusts Ryoken, he’s under no delusions about who Ryoken is or what he gets up to. From easily guessing Ryoken has a spy to not batting an eye at his cold treatment of the not-evil Ignises. Yusaku is as cold and unemotional as ever, while Ai is growing increasingly unstable in the face of having lost everything he originally set out to protect. The contrast is interesting, but whether it will bring them closer or push them apart has yet to be seen. 

Now that Aoi and Aqua met, I worry that Aqua will just do the “I see the truth” thing with Playmaker and Soulburner. I’ll be pretty disappointed if that is how Aoi learns Yusaku is Playmaker. But regarding the “truth” thing, we see that Miyu lost a friend because of a lie, which may have led to Aqua developing her lie-detecting ability. But do the Ignis all have unique abilities like that, unrelated to their elements but related to their Lost Kids? It doesn’t seem like it, but there’s a lot we don’t know, especially about Ai. 

I want to see more of Miyu--or rather, I still very much want all the Lost Kids to team up! Now that we have five out of six, I would love to see them all interacting together a group. I hope she gets back on her feet and a larger role next season, instead of just existing to hand Aqua over to Aoi. I’m not to sure on where I stand with Aoi getting Aqua as a partner to begin with. On one hand, it was obviously inevitable from the start. On the other hand, it’s kinda like Aoi gets all the benefits with none of the trauma. Plus, what makes the Ignis and human partnerships so interesting is that the Ignis were born from each Lost Kid’s pain. I wonder if Aoi and Aqua’s more indirect connection can compete with that kind of complexity. Aqua might return to Miyu when she wakes up, or Miyu will insist on Aqua staying with Aoi and supporting her. That all said, I really like Miyu and Aoi so far and look forward to seeing them reunited.

RIP everyone that shipped Ema and Kengo; I knew y’all were playing a dangerous game. I want to know so much more about them though. What sort of relationship do they have? What was their childhood like? Where do they get their magenta hair from? Are they full siblings? Are they half-siblings? Adopted? Step-sibs? Blood siblings that grew up separately? I hope we find out.

The fact that Ema is a little sister too does a lot to explain the kinship she feels with Aoi, and why she’s encouraging Aoi to be stronger; its possible she wants Aoi to be able to be there for Akira in a way Ema might never have been for Kengo. It also explains Kengo’s disregard and lack of respect for Ema; of course he looks down on his little sister (assuming I’m not misinterpreting Ema calling him “nii-san”...which I’m pretty sure I’m not.)

There’s undoubtably more in these 5 episodes that I didn’t get to here, but lots of new and interesting possibilities for how the story is going to progress.

[attackofthezee]

STUCKY REC LIST 10/6/18

I realized it’s been a bit since I did a rec list! I link to fics I’ve read and enjoyed over the week in my weekly writing round ups, but I don’t tag those posts as fic recs (it feels a little too self promoting to tag something about my own writing with fic recs, I can’t seem to do it) soooo I feel like it doesn’t count. So here, have a list of fics I highkey recommend right now. They’re all beautiful majestic fics and everyone should read them.

The Heart of a Dying Star by layersofart (layersofsilence), velleities

As ancient legends have it, mighty magical weapons can be forged in the heart of a dying star.

Wanda, driven by her desire to avenge her brother’s death and backed by Hydra and their secret plans, uses ancient magic to knock a star down from the sky.

Halfway across the land, Steve, the Captain of the Avengers Guard, finds a fallen star named Bucky.

Do you want to feel like you’re reading a fairy tale? Because like, this fic feels straight up like reading a fairy tale. It’s wonderful and soft and also like vaguely a Stardust AU while not actually being a Stardust AU and tbh it’s wonderful, just wonderful. Go read it and fall in love with Star!Bucky and total sweetheart Steve Rogers just like I did.

Howitzer by spacebuck

Bucky Barnes, figure skating champion, is forced to switch his skates for hockey ones when he leaves for college. Problem is, he's never played hockey before, and now he has to be good enough to get the scholarship he needs. Enter Steve Rogers, Carter University Men's Hockey player, who's decided that he'd do anything to get this guy on his team.

Cue five am runs, overwhelming classes, new friends, plenty of snow, and a sport that's fast becoming a way of life.

This fic has been on my To-Read List for approximately six thousand years, and part of me regrets not reading it sooner while the other is really glad I waited because I was reading it while having a rough week and guys, it was like the cure to my overdramatic issues that week. I like hockey a decent amount because it’s dudes being mildly homoerotic on ice and I find nothing bad about that, but I don’t really know about hockey, y’know? And after reading this I felt like I knew about hockey, which was a pretty fantastic experience tbh. I haven’t felt that feel since my fave fic back in Bandom days left me super interested in rugby for a while. Also the relationship between Steve and Bucky in this is fucking beautiful, and the descriptions of the games left me feeling incredibly invested in them and the author deserves literally all the love for that.

What's left behind by Niitza

The thing was, after waking up in that new century, that strange future where nothing and no one was the same, not even himself, it had never occurred to Steve to wonder again if the effects of the serum were permanent.

Catch me outside perpetually screaming about this fic. It’s told in chunks of 200 words and while I found myself inevitably wanting more of every chunk it also worked so well for this fic and is also something I admire because while I believe in brevity, I also have absolutely zero self control and if a scene wanted to be 500 words I’d end up writing 500 words. It’s just, it’s SO GOOD, and if you’re like, super bad at focusing like I am the way it’s told is a surefire way of catching attention and sucking in. It’s just really beautiful and wonderful and I recommend that you don’t take my word for it and go read it to find out for yourself.

Keep the Torch Lit by thepartyresponsible

“Logan,” Charles says, delicately. “Do you know the whereabouts of the Winter Soldier?”

“Nope,” Logan lies, easy as anything. “Haven’t heard a damn thing, Chuck.”

“Logan,” Charles says, “have you forgotten I’m a telepath?”

“Well,” Logan says, a little less pleasantly, “I sure forgot you’re a Goddamn nosy son of a bitch.”

Listen, okay, this fic is not Stucky, at least not technically. Technically it’s Logan/Bucky with past Steve/Bucky but like even the Logan/Bucky isn’t really the focus and if you want to (like me) it’s definitely possible to read future Stucky into this fic. also this is my rec list and I do what I want ya’ll. The focus on this isn’t the shipping, and tbh that’s what makes it so glorious. The focus is on the goddamn glorious motherfuckin Wolverine, aka the love of my life since I was a wee lass watching the x-men animated series back in the 90s and falling facefirst into simultaneous crushes on both Logan and Rogue. Biromanticism ya’ll, it started early. This fic is hysterical. Logan’s voice is so spot on and so very LOGAN that every line manages to be grumpy and hysterical and also reveal that hidden layer of just caring too much that I really believe is like, the true hallmark of a well written Logan. He doesn’t want to care, but he does care, and that’s like the crux of all his issues y’know? That’s why he takes in asshole super soldier assassins that half the world is after when they give the shitty reason of ‘war buddies, you gotta.’  

I could write several paragraphs on my epic love for this fic but I feel like the biggest reason to read it that I can give is that I’ve now read it three times and as a person who barely ever reads things even twice, that’s a huge thing for me. Also it has an appearance of a Charles who’s kinda a dick and tbh that’s how I love my Charles.

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, if you can stand Bucky being even hinted at being with someone other than Steve, and if you don’t for some strange reason hate Wolverine (which if you do, who hurt you????) then go read this fic. It’s 4400 words of fucking brilliance.

Baby You Should Stick Around by neenya, nephropsis

If somebody had told Steve he and Bucky would end up raising Bucky's clone as their son, he'd probably have- wait, no, he wouldn't have done anything, because nobody would ever have said that.

And yet. Here they are.

Listen, this is one of those fics that I opened up expecting something fun and lighthearted and y’know, just a normal kidfic. What I got was 33k of a seriously beautifully written fic that gave me some seriously intense feelings. It was not what I expected whatsoever and it was all the better for that. I, personally, need to occasionally open up something I don’t expect to make me feel and then experience all the feelings because I am in the words of my former therapist ‘a shaken up soda bottle, building up pressure and just waiting to explode.’ True story. MY PERSONAL ISSUES ASIDE, this is beautiful and sad at times but with like, a really wonderful ending that made me feel A LOT OF THINGS. (The point of this is that this fic made me feel a lot of things. Like just, a lot of things. So many things) And there is this certain quality to the writing, at least to me, that really lets you feel the fact that Steve is having Issues and Steve is not realizing these Issues, and because of that he’s not able to be entirely present in this life that he has with Bucky. It’s wonderfully unique, and wonderfully written, and while not one I can reread super often (because of those aforementioned FEELINGS) it is seriously such a quality piece of work and one I’d somehow never stumbled upon despite it being written four years ago.

Black Dog by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen)

So long ago the details were lost to time, people began creating guardians of the dead. They were made from dogs, dogs who were buried in graveyards before anyone was laid to rest, their spirits arising as black dogs, bound protectors of the human dead.

Steve had always wondered what would happen after he died. He hadn't expected the answer to be 'wake up in the cemetery he'd been buried in', but here he was, some kind of ghost, and he could see the trees through his hands. It wasn't so bad, and he wasn't alone—a sleek black dog, golden eyes glowing bright, was happily waiting to greet him.

Decades later, on what was supposed to be a quiet, peaceful, definitely-not-life-changing walk through the woods, Bucky stumbled across an abandoned cemetery and into the impossible.

(It's a ghost story and a love story and a story about dogs.)

I’ve talked about my love for absolutely everything leveragehunters writes, I know I have, but oh my god, Black Dog hits it out of the goddamn park. There’s A GOOD DOG! AND STEVE IS A GOOD DOG EVEN THOUGH HE’S NOT REALLY A DOG! And Laika! I GENUINELY CRIED OVER LAIKA!  And I DON’T OFTEN CRY OVER FICS!! I just, this was so beautiful and there’s always something so special about leveragehunters’ world building in their urban fantasy and magical realism fics in that it never feels heavy handed, never feels like I’m getting a bunch of info dumped on my head, but I always leave the fic feeling like I’ve seen this brand new world and understood it in the way the characters do even if that world is just a little bit left of the one we’re in now.

Also this is just a really good, nice fic to read while curled up with one’s dogs so y’know, if you’ve got dogs, definitely have them nearby to love on while you read this. It makes the experience like 1000x better.

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter (Zimario)

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

Picture me screaming like a pterodactyl every time I even think of this fic. I kept seeing this fic, kept seeing it recced everywhere, kept scrolling by, kept seeing it recced by people who’s work I love and read and admire, and KEPT SCROLLING. And then finally, finally I decided to devote myself to 70k of what I assumed would be a lot of emotional pain. I was right. This was painful to read, the parts in Bucky’s pov especially so, but it was also so, so, sooo very good. I found myself clicking to the next chapter as quickly as I could and wanting to sink right back into it if I had to go do something. It’s just, it’s so good, and if by some chance you haven’t read it yet do yourself a favor and don’t be like me and keep scrolling past it.

[tsuki-sennin]

Heyooooo

I uh... Didn't mean for this to be so late, but I've been having a really shitty couple weeks, so uh... oops.

Anyways, Geats! I'm ready for Round 2!

-The fox!

-"I literally almost died, neesan!"

-"Yeah whatever you say bro lmao"

-Ace-sama!

-Everybody loves Ace-sama!

-...did he use his Desire for this hgjkl

-Oh hey, Miss Tsumuri.

-"I am so fucking awesome. ...and yet..."

-What kinda limit would exist for something like this?

-Desire Driver!

-ID Core!

-Tanuki Boi!

-I see Toei's green screen has improved.

-Up to you determine which way I mean that.

-Oooooooh, Trust Last! I've heard this a few times, and this absolutely slaps.

-Bomb for the win!

-God, this sponsor screen is

-Sad

-Jamato! Those freaky plant mushroom people!

-This is a truly twisted game you're making us play, Tsumuri.

-How many people do you reckon not get brought back? Or how many do you think still feel some form of residual trauma and not realize why?

-Moreover, how did the people running the game decide that this is the best way to go about it?

-Desire God power.

-Oh fuck, putting them on the spot like that?

-Where we droppin' boys?

-The Desire Grand Prix. A treasure hunt!

-...did they like... give those loot boxes to them?

-Oh, Neon has no friends... how tragic.

-Daaaaamn, Ace got kicks.

-Armed Water!

-Ready!

-Fight!

-Oh wow, not even gonna give us water pressure, huh game?

-Then again, a BONK is just as good a strategy as any.

-Guess it's nice that there're more people are willing to help each other out than not so far.

-...how long will that last, I wonder?

-You did it, Keiwa! You survived your first encounter~!

-Don't you dare think you're safe for a moment though~!

-"Ohhhhhhh, you're that nice kid I rejected!"

-World Peace, eh, buddy?

-Awww.... this must be the Dad Rider I've heard so much about.

-"Hey hey, congrats! You did it!"

-Well fuck, man, now I'm wondering how the hell we have all this swanky stuff.

-I will follow your career with great interest, Neon-san.

-"Haha, woooow, you're all

-Buffa! Asanaga,right? Er... Michima? No, no, Azuma Michinaga!

-Tycoon and Nago!

-Background characters hjkl

-Free time, he says.

-Faucet and Shield!

-"Trash!"

-"...trash? :("

-No fighting, no cheating.

-Holy shit, these go by so quick.

-"Those who survive!"

-Oh yeah, Keiwa saw that

-"Not if you're a Kamen Rider."

-So, poor Shirowe from last episode is absolutely dead.

-Rest in peace, Kyoryu Blue.

-Oh god, is she another rider fan.

-Oh hey, the Jamato have their own language! Like the Gurongi and the Femushinmu!

-Pretty neat.

-I see Mary and Nago are a fine dynamic duo.

-Armed Arrow is absolutely cursed now.

-Panda Magnum.

-And I get

-A panda sniper... perhaps a call back to the Scouting Panda Raider from Zero-One? That would make sense considering Takahashi...

-"Oh fuck I could actually die here."

-Ginpen's family!

-C'mon Keiwa! Get your butt in gear!

-For a tanuki you seem to lack any balls!

-Nooooo, Taira-san!

-So, if the ID Core is smashed, that's it. Game over.

-Y'know, for as suspicious as Tsumuri is, she genuinely seems kinda broken up about Ginpen.

-"I fight for the children. For their futures."

-If you don't fight, you can't make your dreams come true.

-Change the world.

-"Hey so, can I borrow that? All those orphans and poor people I'm fighting for kinda need it."

-Boost Armed Water looks so sick.

-I think I get it now. Armed Water and these other low tier items are pretty sorry on their own, but using it in conjunction with the

-Daaaaaamn, that's a strong finisher.

-"Good job, idiot! Thanks, dummy!"

-"You lied?! You can't just do that, I trusted you!"

-Ahhhh, little Boost is a fickle sort.

-No chance at bringing them back, huh?

-Ohhhhh, Ace.

-You may be a lying son of a bitch, but... you're still a Kamen Rider at the end of the day, huh?

-Some exceptions, huh?

-Zombie Survival!

-Zombie for Zombie!

-Part of me wonders... how do the administrators of the game pick out Riders?

-What manner of bizarre criteria have to be fulfilled to be chosen? Is there even an age limit? I mean, Da-Paan's a high schooler, right?

-If you hadn't noticed, Ace's coin is a Roman denarius with a relief of Julius Caesar. Considering Caesar's own strategic track record and claims of divinity, this fits very well with his character.

-Right, so! I'm quite excited to jump into the next round. Here's hoping we both make it through to the end, huh?

[mentcrmoved]

I’ve been meaning to do this since the Assassins Creed movie came out on DVD, but I kinda didn’t think to do it until I was watching it last night. So, at long last, I’m giving my Official critic of the movie, while also discussing some points of interest.

Thus, I give you, Murphy’s Official Assassins Creed Movie Critic. (part one)

This is gonna be quite the post (including pictures!) so it’s obviously under a read more. It will probably take me a few hours to write & maybe an hour to read. Ya’ll been warned. It will also, obviously, contain spoilers so if you don’t want that shit then I suggest not reading this. Overall, these are my thoughts, as an Assassins Creed fan, on the movie & if you don’t agree, think I’m crazy, etc. I really do not give a care. 

Anyway, here we are, enjoy if you can, & of course I’d dig some feedback/discussion.

Okay so first I want to start off by saying that, as a movie in itself, Assassins Creed was pretty great. It wasn’t revolutionary or anything super special, but the effects & the production was pretty good, in my opinion. From the perspective of a person not familiar with the games it’s easy to follow & not overly complicated. It was, as a movie, decent.

As a movie representing a 10-year-old franchise that has 10 years of established canon and development and complexities the movie was an utter fucking mess. In my opinion. Also, a personal bias, I really do not like Michael Fassbender so that was an immediate -10 in my book. But, because I’m such a wonderful person, I’ll look past that & say that Michael Fassbender was okay & as the movie progressed my desire to punch him in the face lessened.

So, here we go, from the top, first scene in the movie was awful.

As a huge fan (ya’ll know this) of Altair this really made me angry. First of all I’d like to make the point that Altair died in 1257, & that the historical parts of the movie take place in 1492. Secondly, & I don’t think I have to remind anyone of this, Altair, using the Apple of Eden, wrote the Codex... during his time (despite the continuity issues in the first game) the ring finger was cut off to enable the use of the hidden blade, but with the Apple he devised a new design that made this morbid little ritual unnecessary, as we learn in the second game.

Now, they could just be doing it as a ritual of tradition, but I don’t see why, considering that about 3 years earlier Ezio was inducted into the Order in Italy & their ritual involved branding the finger not cutting it off. It could just be a communication issue, but considering the amount of time that passed & the proximity of Spain to Italy I find that unlikely.

Thus this is kind of... stupid, & before someone says it’s because they wanted continuity for non-gamers lemme just say that this little piece of information isn’t important in the grand scheme of understanding the assassins creed world. They could just as easily branded the finger or done nothing at all, & since this blatantly ignores canon what was the point of adding it anyway?

So far, not impressed.

Next order of business, this scene:

Jesus, when I first saw the movie I was like ??? what is going on here why did he kill her? Then he was like ‘they found us’ & I kinda understood & then I was just... appalled by how they portray the assassins from the getgo. Firstly, when I saw this scene the second time all I could think of was how sad Rebecca would have been hearing about this. Two perfectly good assassins, one of them dead at the hand of her partner to avoid capture, & the other captured, orphaning a son.

& knowing all that we do about how small the brotherhood’s numbers are this makes zero sense. Why kill her (death before dishonor maybe?) when you could just as easily get your son & run? This isn’t the assassin way! This isn’t what assassins do! Assassins don’t just lay down & take what’s coming, they don’t sit complacent to a world that needs to be saved. They don’t just accept death! This isn’t the assassin brotherhood! This isn’t right!

Now, a reasonable explanation might be (& I have theories about this) that where they were living is like where Desmond grew up: it was a ‘safe’ community made up of assassins trying to live on the down low. I think this is reasonable because of this concept art:

In the background, behind Cal on his bike, are hooded figures that look a lot like the guy who we can assume is his dad. I don’t think they’re Templars because if you look past his dad there’s the jeeps & you can already see a guy standing out with a gun like in the movie. So maybe this was a community, though if that’s true that still raises a bunch of questions, like why didn’t they all run, & if only Cal’s dad knew about it why didn’t he say anything to the others?

& if it was a death before dishonor sort of thing why didn’t he slit his own throat when the Templars found him? Why not kill Cal too? Of course, I guess it’s implied that Cal’s mom wasn’t aware when she died, that his dad took her by surprise by stabbing her in the back. But still that raises the question, why? Why kill her then allow yourself to be captured? Why kill her then tell your son to run if you intended to be captured? & if they really were living among assassins why wasn’t there more to this? Why wasn’t anyone fighting?

Watching this scene I just want to scream why repeatedly at the screen, because I just do not understand any of it. & when I try to explain what’s going on to myself it just makes things worse, introducing new questions. So, as far as I’m concerned, this is just a tragic backstory made specifically to build the type of character they wanted Cal to be, which I think is shitty mostly because I think Cal is a shitty character in general.

My only comment about the next scene is that Cal is seriously fucked in the head.

Also, why are literally all assassins decent artists? Is it a genetic thing?

Next, the ever classic “I woke up in a strange place with a needle in my arm so don’t mind me while I rip that little shit right out & make a beeline for the door” scene. &, of course, I wonder why he runs? There is literally no threat? What does he think this is, an episode of the Twilight Zone? You’re a paranoid fucker, aren’t you Cal?

My next thing is, if Aguilar had his finger cutoff how can Cal wear his blades?

Like I understand it is very likely Abstergo modified them, but I still feel like they should have explained that? Because I’m pretty sure there was some perceptive non-gamer in the theater wondering how the fuck Cal could wear them without cutting his own finger off? & why the fuck, if Aguilar had two blades, did they only cut off the finger on one hand? I smell so many continuity issues here it’s not even funny. But I can hear your thoughts: oh Murphy now you’re just nitpicking at the small details shut up. As an aspiring director & screenwriter, as a lover of film, I’m nitpicking at this because there’s someone in the crowd who did too. This sort of thing shouldn’t be left unsaid, even if it is “obvious”.

Now, my thoughts on the Animus: cool af, like legit. I imagine Rebecca looking at it & yelling “what did you do to baby??” with either utter horror or excited surprise. It’s an amusing image, you should try picturing it in your head. I’m not gonna complain about continuity here because its 2016 in the movie & Desmond died in 2012 so Abstergo has probably upgraded a lot. Also, this makes the historic scenes a lot more exciting.

Plus, look at the lighting! This is literally so aesthetically pleasing.

The next historic scene is pretty epic, though I was yelling at the assassins for dying in the fight because guys ??? what are you stormtroopers? I don’t really have any critics about the fight scene because the choreography was amazing, I mean the scene during the chase where Maria fucking backflips off the rock to get behind the Templar? Hot as hell.

Plus, can we just appreciate that they fulfilled the ONE thing that all games share? That one fucking mission where you’re chasing someone in a carriage/cart/on horesback & it takes you five tries to do without dying! I was really happy about this.

Now, the next thing I’m about to share is something I was literally screaming about after I saw the movie. When this scene played out, as short as it was, I was excited af. I knew immediately what I was seeing & that made me very happy. Of course, this was all theory until I got the DVD & watched it... which confirmed my wildest hopes.

Do you see this book? The one Sophie is reading? Do you see how it’s written in Arabic? Do you see how thick it is, the drawing, the little notes scrawled in the corners? DO YOU SEE? Because THIS is Altair’s motherfucking codex. They put his fucking codex in the movie! Sure, it’s a tiny easter egg that you can’t be sure of on the big screen but... I knew it. They put it in. Altair exists! This literally made me so happy last night when I paused the movie I was screaming, like not even in my head I was physically screaming & my mom came upstairs to make sure I was okay.

Plus, even if this ISN’T what I think it is, among the pages Sophie has put up around the apples figures there seems to be at least two written in Arabic. So I have high hopes.

Well, I think I should end on that good note. As I said, I’m open to feedback & discussion! &, as for the rest of the movie, I’ll get into that in a different post so it’s not all jam-packed in one long ass post. Either way, here we have it!

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Lessons from 'Chopped' with Ted Allen: The 15 most rage-inducing mistakes in the TV kitchen

Food Network's Chopped invokes a certain kind of screaming-at-your-TV-screen carnal energy — the baskets! the knife injuries! the leaving an ingredient off the plate when it's sitting RIGHT THERE! 

After 10 years and 40 seasons on the air, Chopped still delivers some of the most whiplash-inducing twists on television. Like say when host Ted Allen reads out a seemingly cohesive basket, only to have the last ingredient be something like pickle-flavored cupcakes. 

SEE ALSO: Why the '15-minute recipe' sets you up to fail

me yelling at the tv when i watch chopped pic.twitter.com/pW37XlkEej

— nicole ♡ (@suckernasa) March 1, 2018

In Chopped's world of televised culinary surprises, there are still a number of things that always go predictably wrong. As the host of Chopped, Ted Allen has stood front and center for just about every kitchen disaster you can imagine, so we asked him to dish on the most common mistakes made by chefs tackling the unforgiving beast that is a Chopped basket. 

"It’s a whole bunch of traps." Allen says. "It's nothing but traps." 

1. Whenever anyone attempts to make risotto in under 20 minutes. 

me whenever a Chopped contestant assures the viewer that they can and will make risotto in 30 minutes pic.twitter.com/pUYOTrS1QK

— elexus jionde. (@Lexual__) January 24, 2019

"Planning comes into play," Allen says. "Let’s say you’re in the appetizer round. It takes about 20 minutes to cook arborio rice. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but that’s probably not the best choice in round one."  

Not only does the chef have to constantly stir the arborio rice to cook it to the right consistency, but then they have zero time to do anything else creative. Risotto is a labor of love — ask any Italian nona! 

Lesson: The judges won't be happy with your undercooked rice. 

2. Trying to save face when the plates come out looking less than desirable. 

*watching chopped* "My plating is sloppy but I know my flavors are there" Me: pic.twitter.com/kJyl9XNvhv

— jojo (@BROCKSQUADD) August 2, 2017

Don't say it. Please don't say it. We know you're going to, and no one wants this, and yet here we are. You used the dreaded 'D' work. There it is...deconstructed. 

There are absolutely other words to describe the way the a dish looks. Maybe it's Rushed. Sloppy. Mismatched. But the word you're looking for is not the 'D' one, and it's certainly not the 'R' word either (Rustic). 

Time management is key here, or as Allen calls it, rational innovation. "We want you to do something creative, but you have to recognize the incredible limitations you’re up against."

Lesson: Take the time when plating (it's one-third of the judging criteria, after all) and be honest when the presentation isn't its best. 

3. Forgetting a basket ingredient. 

Okay, so...you know that feeling during the Big Game when the quarterback throws a perfect spiral, and the receiver is wide open, but he drops the ball anyway? Doesn't that make you tear your hair out?

No? You know when a chef forgets a basket ingredient? The camera zooms in, and it's sitting right there on the table? Same range of emotion. 

"We’ve almost never had a chef that didn’t get 4 plates made that are reasonably plausible," Allen says. "But we did have one guy who did plenty of cooking, but he just judged his time so poorly that he got nothing at all on except for three edamame on one plate. Yeah, that was a rough one." 

Lesson: It's not the end of the world. Someone else's dish could have literal raw bones and trash in it.

4. Trying to make ice cream during the dessert round. 

When the Chopped contestant goes to the ice cream machine pic.twitter.com/pVVJRoHoEb

— Lindsey Adler (@lindseyadler) June 1, 2018

Why would this go wrong? Everyone loves ice cream, right? But the other chef is inevitably going to be making an ice cream too — it's the easiest way to hide a funky ingredient, or showcase an ingredient with a milder flavor profile. But you can't ALL use the ice cream machine, people, it's just not possible. 

It's also a documented fact that there is purposefully only one ice cream machine, just for the chaos of it all. That's very Cutthroat Kitchen of you, Ted. 

Lesson: Make cookies or something. NOT ice cream.

5. Leaving bones, seeds, or otherwise hazardous material in the dish. 

One of the first rules new chefs learn is to taste their food as they go along. 

The hustle of the Chopped kitchen can cause even the most experienced of chefs to forget this tried and true rule. 

If the judges have to spend their precious time picking fish bones or seeds out of the dish, they will not be happy campers. For chefs that are unfamiliar with an ingredient, it's even more paramount to check and check again. Because something inedible might be left over. Or something possibly deadly (Fugu fish, anyone?)

Lesson: Taste it now. Taste it again. When in doubt, taste it. 

6. Trying to make bread pudding during the dessert round. 

me when the chopped contestant makes it all the way to the dessert round and then starts making a bread pudding pic.twitter.com/E7c9e6X99D

— generation loss (@shoegays) May 12, 2017

Bread pudding is such a popular dish during the dessert round, it might as well be made a requirement to win (please, no). 

The dish became so popular, Allen reveals that "we did have a ban on bread pudding for a while. But it seems to have been allowed to creep back in. It’s just that you don’t want a show where everybody always goes to that, so we kinda had to push people to be more creative and think of other approaches to things." 

The Chopped kitchen god himself has spoken. 

Lesson: Get creative, even if you're not a pastry chef. Make something no-bake! Elbow your opponent for the ice cream machine! Make some candy, anything! 

7. Not cleaning off the counter space. 

My feelings exactly.

Image: GIPHY

One thing Allen says that viewers rarely consider when thinking about the difficulty of the kitchen is the small counter space. Most of which, he says, is taken up by the 7 knives chefs are allowed to bring.  

"One pitfall that is often a giveaway [of who will be chopped] is people that don’t clean off their stations after they’ve done something, because of that lack of space. It’s always a good sign if somebody chops the onion, they put the chopped onion in a bowl, and then they clear off everything, and move on the next [task]." 

Lesson: A clean station denotes an organized chef. And if you don't believe Allen, Ratatouille makes a pretty great point.  

8. Calling anything with chocolate and chili a "mole." 

Every time a Chopped chef introduces a "mole," the judging table reacts with grace, but you can see it in their eyes: Your mole sits on a throne of lies. 

There's a wide variety of traditional mole sauces from different parts of Mexico, but the most ubiquitous kind typically includes roasted red chilis, nuts, spices such as coriander, cloves, and anise, and of course, chocolate. But very little chocolate is actually used, and it's added more like a spice. 

Lesson: Of course no one's going to be judging on complete culinary purity when the basket ingredients are a wild mix. But if you melt a Hershey's bar and put some cayenne in it, don't call it a mole. You will be in the wrong. 

9. Not planning out a dish before jumping into the cooking. 

This one is hard. According to Allen, chefs get, at most, a minute or two to think after they open the basket, and they certainly don't know what's in the basket beforehand. The four ingredients are often so wildly different (such as Korean short ribs, canned spaghetti, purple artichokes, and baby pineapple) that there's no obvious connection. 

"What often indicates that someone might do well is, instead of just jumping right in, taking a moment to plan. If you pointed to an 8-pound Peruvian leg of lamb, I mean I’ve literally seen people salt it and pepper it, then throw it in the oven whole before it occurred to them that, wait a minute, that’s never gonna work." 

Lesson: It's all about taking a second to think about what is doable before it's 5 minutes left and you have an inedible raw lamb. 

10. The goddamn siphon (aka the whipped cream canister).  

Why does this one piece of kitchen equipment never seem to work? It might just be that chefs don't typically come into contact with a siphon on a daily basis, now that we've moved beyond non-dessert 'foams' and 'whips' that dominated the trend of molecular gastronomy. Or it could just be cursed. 

Lesson: Shake it like a polaroid picture, or prepare to just see a spittle of sad sauce drip out. 

11. Throwing any of the basket ingredients on the plate at the last minute, or as a garnish.

http://crayola-colored-skeletons.tumblr.com/post/161837244904/if-you-use-a-basket-ingredient-as-a-garnish-on

Part of the beauty (and the challenge) of Chopped is to take four disparate ingredients and transform them into one cohesive unit. But the keyword here is transform. 

The chefs are under immense pressure, so it's easy to get all knees weak, arms spaghetti and forget a basket ingredient. But sometimes chefs will knowingly leave an ingredient to use at the last minute as a garnish. 

Where's the showmanship? The pizzaz? You are not dripping in any culinary finesse if you don't figure out a way to incorporate all the ingredients. 

Lesson: "Have the judgement to fit those mismatched pieces into a puzzle without masking them with too [sic] much with items from the pantry," Allen says. 

12. Relying too heavily on the pantry ingredients. 

Leaning heavily into the basket ingredients tends to score bigger points with the judges, however strange they might seem at first glance. You might not want to touch that black chicken, but at this point, what choice do you have?

Depending on what's given to the chefs, though, they might actually do worse the "better" the basket might seem. 

"When you’ve been given a basic basket — with a T-bone steak, and a sweet potato, and butter, and a carton of heavy cream — it seems like such a layup, but it almost seems like [the chefs] do the worst job when they don’t have enough of a challenge." 

Allen says that while something like pickled giblets might not be "the first thing you'd ask for," it might force chefs to get more creative. 

Lesson: You don't always get what you want, but you might just get what you need. 

13. Using rookie culinary techniques, such as adding truffle oil or a mint leaf. 

Why do we dislike truffle oil on #Chopped? Most is synthetic & contains no truffle. It’s strong, & tends to overwhelm a dish. It was trendy (a long time ago), & we don’t like trendiness. It feels pretentious, now—a cheap way to try to make a dish seem fancy.

— Ted Allen (@TheTedAllen) June 5, 2018

If a Chopped judge utters the words "why are they going to the pantry, oh god, there's only 30 seconds left," you know this isn't going to be good. 

Most of the time these last-minute additions are at best, superfluous, and at worse, ruin the integrity of the dish as a whole. The perfectionist anxiety to add ingredient upon ingredient in search of making your dish stand out is understandable. 

"I mean this in a positive way, a chef is generally a control freak," says Allen. "Someone who has a strong point of view, something that they want to say with food. On Chopped, we take away all of that control, all of it." 

Lesson: At a certain point, the dish is going to be what it is. And tossing something like truffle oil or saffron on top with five seconds left won't make your dish any fancier. 

14. Trying to hide your basket ingredient through the magic of blending. 

http://luvkurai.tumblr.com/post/165382319715/i-didnt-used-to-understand-why-people-got-so

Blending is the one technique that shows you're either the smartest person in the Chopped kitchen, or you have no idea what the hell is going on. 

Okay, sometimes there's really nothing left to do when there's a basket that's mostly normal, but has one giant curveball. In that case, feel free to hit the judges with some foot-long oversized gummy worm gastrique. 

Lesson: If the Chopped judges have to ask where you a put an ingredient, and the answer is "...it's in the sauce", perhaps the blender was not your best friend. 

15. Starting to cook ANYTHING, or plating, with less than a minute left. 

http://projectcatzo.tumblr.com/post/159772284409/ted-allen-one-minute-left-chopped-contestant

Hmm, I think my dish is missing something. Let me just whip up a little salad dressing real quick...oh, I should probably get my stuff on the plate too. How much time do I have left? 45 seconds? I got time!

Then, shockingly, they did not have time. And there is never really enough time. But as we've established, the secret ingredient to winning Chopped isn't necessarily killer cooking skills, it's killer time management.

Listen to Ted Allen on this one, kids: "If it’s going to take 20 minutes to make something, I might be able to pull off a ham sandwich. 20 minutes is nothing. It’s just nothing. Take a second to plan and realize that you’re gonna have to slice something smaller or make something that’s doable." 

Lesson: Don't do the culinary crime if you can't manage your kitchen time. 

me, with no professional experience, yelling @ chopped competitors when they burn anything or forget an ingredient pic.twitter.com/zMKbBk4gJT

— meg 🐉 (@n_agem) April 25, 2017

Sure, we'd love to think we know everything about goes down during Chopped's intense 20-30 minute rounds, but we're just Average Joes yelling about coulis and beurre blanc to a screen. The Chopped competition turns us all into pseudo-culinary experts, while perched on the sofa eating half-frozen chicken nuggets. 

Allen says that if you ever find yourself getting frustrated at the chefs, "set the clock to 20 minutes, and ask your wife or husband to take out four weird ingredients, and see how you do. 'Cause it could be an eye-opener for you." 

But that's the fun part! Chopped manages to show us a life lesson best expressed in Ratatouille:  Anyone can cook. And, just as important, anyone can think they can whip up a risotto in 20 minutes and fail miserably. 

"In this business, you’re only as good as the last plate you cooked. So the stakes are pretty high."

Ted Allen is right — the chopping block is a great, delicious equalizer. 

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