#which is ironic bc all I want to do is discuss these books

[violetclarity]

The problem with my coworkers having seen me absolutely Going Through It while reading The Golden Enclaves is that now they all want to read the Scholomance trilogy, which would be fine (great, even) except if my coworker starts calling it a girl power story while completely ignoring the social commentary and deep morality of it steam will come out of my ears

[formerstingray]

How do you feel abt the Telegony and Madeline miller's portrayal of odysseus and circe (personally I don't like the Telegony bc the prophet said Ithaca would have like one son each generation and idk abt Madeline miller)

Hello! Be warned I am a literature graduate and will give a very very very long answer to this question (a la the epic windbag Nestor.) Also: reminder to all that these are just my current thoughts on these questions, and I would be more than interested in discussing, having my mind changed, or to be challenged on these in a friendly and interesting way :)

short answer to this: mixed feelings because of nuance and my own sentimentality

Long answer: So, for me, I just love Homer and mythic cycles, and am really interested in the process of mythic retelling/revising/reception/remixing/resolving/destroying. I am interested in what makes us hollow out spaces for ourselves in old stories. I'm interested in the strangeness and otherness of old stories. Thus, I am a huge fan of Madeline Miller's TSOA. I think it's a really sexy, brilliant novel that revives voices like Mary Renault's in the genre of classic retelling. I think it evokes a really strong sense of the violence, narrowness, grief and beauty of the 'Homeric' world (that strange conglomerate of Bronze and Iron age references)! I think she brings a major sense of the 'Homeric' to life in her gorgeous similes and careful attention to ritual, irony, doubleness and characterisation. (her characterisation of Achilles nd Odysseus bring to mind the lovely harshness and mathematical precision of the line from the Iliad about Achilles being simple and Odysseus being complex). I think she does this strikingly well in TSOA, but less so in Circe. I found that Circe, in its immense effort to make circe 'human' and contemporary, lost so much of TSOA's raw, potent archaicism and worldbuilding. It ended up being, for me, a really well intentioned take on the vaguely second-wave feminist NYT best seller thing that has been very popular for a while. I think maybe just want a bit more from feminism, retelling, and from Miller. I would have wanted more moral ambiguity and intrigue from Circe as a character maybe? I don't think we have to make all mythic women girlboss heroes when they're much more complicated in their original source material. I think we can come to far more interesting feminist conclusions when we work with the text and understand the context of women's lives in the original. My professor always used to remind us not to 'stare at old books and to expect to find our own faces staring back at us'. I think that Miller slightly does that with the Odyssey, in a way that did not need to be done.

Whilst I am, as mentioned, interested in contemporary takes that bring contemporary debates to myth (as all modern retellings are bound to do), I think Miller is at her most successful when she is using contemporary ideas to tease and refract new light out from the original material. I found this to be the case with TSOA which teases out not only interesting commentary on queer history, debates around masculinity and gender, but also a load of contemporary literary debates from the story of Patroklos (most interestingly for me the fact that the novel is a bildungsroman...obv anachronistic way to tell the story but so cool! The literary pressure backing that genre even lends TSOA a whiff of Joyce/Wolf/Thomas Hardy!!! Whereas with Circe I don't remember her childhood and growing up being as vividly rendered, I guess because she's a goddess and mortality works differently for her.)

Which brings me back to Circe. I think it's a really well written novel. and I LOVE Madeline Miller's Odysseus. I really think he is the sharpest, most vivid, most brilliant contemporary rendering of Odysseus I've read so far. He's just perfect!!!- smarmy, but also incredibly reasonable, charming, a bit cruel at times, very pragmatic, oving, a guy who has to do all the dirty work. I think his dialogue is written brilliantly throughout both of the novels.

My distaste for the Telegony (and the parts of Circe influenced by it, such as the whole thing about Odysseus becoming prideful and mad at the end) is largely sentimental I must admit. But I think this ending undoes a huge part of the Odysseus myth that is really valuable and interesting to me. It means something to me that these two likeminded epic characters (that word, likeminded, being used to describe odypen as we all know is the first instance of it being used for a married couple, or a pair that includes a man and woman!!) get anything close to a happy ending. But also I really value the ambiguity of the less sentimental takes on odypen's marriage; the idea that he comes home and just wants to leave again is so profound to me (anyone know the poem im talking about where odysseus returns and just wants to leave again? is it potentially a cavafy one?)....either way yeah because the telegony very much feels like its own separate work (and is likely to have been composed at least 2 centuries after the odyssey) I suppose I think of it slightly more seperately.

In summary: All additions and texts surrounding the original make debates and conversations about it richer and livelier! But for me personally I am a bit put off by viewing it as a legitimate sequel, in Miller's sense of literally including all the events as directly part of the Odyssean events. Though, ofc it makes sense that she does, bc the focus of her novel is circe, and drawing from the telegony is a convenient and interesting way to flesh out her narrative.

If you made it this far you deserve a cookie and a kiss on the forehead! Thank you for the ask httpserb! <3

[mzannthropy]

Do you have any headcanons for what it would've been like if Camila had gotten pregnant with Susana and Maria in the show? Maybe a canon divergent au with no cheating,bc that was a terrible plot decision.

Same as the book. He was with Camila in the delivery room when they were born, in contrast to Julia's birth. Which I took to mean as him changing his ways, but why would the show bother with such a detail, when they could make him and Daisy stare at each other a hundred more times?

The timeline is different in the show, so they'd be born after the band's breakup.

You know what's ironic? I always complain about every bloody female character having to get pregnant & have kids, even the ones that initially say they don't want it. Hunger Games was a big letdown in this, for example (otoh Game of Thrones, of all things, delivered (ha!), with Arya outright rejecting the married-with-kids life and going on amazing adventures instead). But when I actually want a couple to have kids, they erase them from an adaptation? I mean they could have at least come up with a reason why they didn't have any after Julia, or that Camila decided to concentrate on her career as a photographer, but they fucking had them discuss having more children and they both agreed that they wanted another baby. It's honestly a complete contempt for the audience at this point.

[evergreen-dryad]

thoughts on snow flower and the secret fan by lisa see

I can relate to Lily. It has me thinking of the female relationships I've had (thought of my 2nd best friend and my cousin), while she is in the wrong with how she lashed out and betrayed Snow Flower's secrets, I still empathised with how she was so hurt and angry and proceeded to Pick Out Every Happy Memory

on laotong, the descriptions really encapsulate what it's like to be so bonded with your best female friend. Evokes memories and emotions I have

there's so much queer subtext. discuss. Accidentally queer? (Was this meant to be a gimmick to show how close they are with little boundaries?)

Lily: doesn't like sex at all with her husband, notably blushed while imagining Snow Flower's moans of pleasures in her laotong's bed 'But how do I say this without sounding like a husband' -thinks of SF's touch while husband is first touching her -her first priority is Snow Flower, gets tremendously jealous/betrayed of the thought of SF sharing an equivalent bond with other women (sworn sisterhood) -has only ever broken the rules for Snow Flower -SF: writes poetry to Lily about them being birds. I was pretty damn sure she was referring to Lily as the 'phoenix (together with her)' even in her sanzhaoshu poem when Lily got married. Just as Lily also wrote of her as a phoenix in hers.

also the iconic Li Bai poem they write on each other that every chinese kid learns as a kid made queer: Quiet Night Thought. They're each other's home.

-they also didn't have a choice in their laotong, but this was the one good thing they could have all their lives

ironic how Lily would end up being like her mother and her mother-in-law 'obey rules' -and how while she was like that wanting for Snow Flower's own good, it still hurt her because it was taken to an extreme, what should have been encouragement turned into excess criticism and blind solutions -but also sympathising that it's hard: when someone you love and want to support is constantly miserable, and you want to do what you can (and this you feel the other can) to fix the situation

for me it's a cautionary tale in a way. To love is to accept and to listen, instead of trying to fix all the time. "...but inside I also waged something like a man's battle between my true nature and the person I should have been."

What lured me in: historical setting, friendship between women specifically (wouldn't you love anyone who matched you in so many ways?)

Irony of the reveal later of reversed fate: the poor one marries rich, the rich has a downfall and marries poor)

writing techniques, what works for it:

accurate evocation of emotions

detailed description of foods, colours, along with lush historical setting. (The description of the caramelised taro!!! I WANT) Characterisation seems right to history, Lily might only seem close to a 'modern' woman thinking fate can be changed at the end because she has power as Lady Lu

pacing? Just right I think. Tone -solemn, serious.

plot and agency were a lot clearer with peony in love (same author, also loved this book a lot more), whereas this one only meant to show a relationship in its full (which makes sense as it is meant to be an autobiography in regret)

oohhh even though it starts at the end, how much later revealed still becomes a surprise! The little foreshadowing

characterisation: someone on goodreads said they flattened to 1D as they got older. Don't think that was the case, but that's somewhat apt for SF bcs her life was so miserable she became thus (and partly bcs they've both gotten busy so the perception of narrator too)

relationships between women all explored, and between parents and children. Heartwarming moment to see that fathers also loved their daughters. My heart hurt (pg 110 when MC left her home and family to be married, and they all sang as part of the wedding rites -"Thank you for raising a worthless daughter" "Goodbye, daughter") reminded by my family. The slight rebellions they could all take as women with nu shu, and how they could be there for each other. How the harsh life of a woman and its stages was shown in that era.

the tragedy at the end (how it started at the end and began with such a fascinatingly clear memory at 7 years old) of misunderstanding, how even if her life has almost been perfect, she misunderstood due to her upbringing.

It is about love. How the narrator and MC yearned for love all her life, and who couldn't sympathise? And in such a society harsh to women, tragedy was bound to occur. "What was the point of being Lady Lu if I didn't have love in my life?"

how helpless you can be in misfortune and stick to convention as a way to help

snow flower's character (both of them as kids having fun and learning from each other!). the ways love was shown between them and in their families.

[patrocles]

ok asoiaf/hotd thoughts…idk if there is even that much to say about this? but like. now that hotd is out and has been watched by a bunch of people and lots of interesting discussions have been had around it (and terrible ones but let’s ignore those for now)…i care even less about dany than i did before. and the idea of her restoring targaryen rule to westeros is The Worst. so now i’m just kind of like…what’s her point in the story??? i guess the dragons could help with the winter apocalypse stuff and fight the others and all that but dany herself? i just can’t picture her having a place in westeros at all, at least not in a way that i would find narratively satisfying. and this also ties into the idea of jon embracing his targaryen heritage (gross) and getting the iron throne which would also be stupid bc we’ve seen the targs destroy each other and themselves and the country so sticking one of them back in charge is just ridiculous. and the two of them are probably the strongest candidates for “the prince that was promised” so what does this mean for that whole prophecy?? idk what my question is i’m just rambling at this point lmao…i guess i’m saying that twow and ados should partly be about the real End of the targ dynasty and if they’re not than idk what we’re doing here. sorry if this is nonsensical lol

okay so both of these are kinda asking the same questions so i'll talk about it here!!

the idea of targ restoration is one of those theories that has a couple different interpretations and the one you described is like, kinda the worst of them lol.

like the idea of dany winning and surviving the end is not an unfounded, nor irrational theory and no one is wrong for wanting that to happen-- why shouldn't she win versus anyone else if she maneuvers in the right ways and effectively wins the game!

i think what i personally take issue with is the version of this that posits dany's conquest as a Moral Good and something that NEEDS to happen because of nebulous down-the-road threat that she doesn't even know about yet. and that other characters arcs (jon's, tyrion's, varys even?? are all veering towards targaryen restoration). i've even seen them claim that the entire point ASOIAF as a whole is about targ restoration. nothing else matters its all about getting them dragons back in power, which i think is the most WILDLY insane thing i've ever heard in my life.

i think this theory of 'targ restoration' is one that wants to have it both ways- for dany to fight and win a war of conquest, but also not be seen as a villain because of it (because of the fans own need to be on the Moral Right of things) (there's a larger discussion here about fandom and morality politics especially in asoiaf)

and frankly... that just isn't how it works.

and this is mainly bred from dany stans who never wanted dany to be anything other than a 100% Good Person who cannot be challenged on a moral level and she is always on the right side of every conflict regardless of nuance. and so when HOTD makes up this whackadoodle prophecy of aegon NEEDING to do a conquest and he was totally justified in all the fucked up shit they did, it was because of some vague threat of the Others and the Long Night to justify their dynastic claims to Westeros. (i'll be honest, i think ole king joe made that one up)

not to mention i think they've completely lost sight of the narrative function of the targaryen dynasty as a relic of a bygone era and dany IS the last of it.

and if we're being completely honest, from what i've seen of the most hardcore targ nation stans, most of them don't really care about the prophecy or the threat of the Others, but that her capacity to help should be used as political leverage (as in the show) to enforce the subjugation of everyone else. and that in fact, they should be grateful because she's the ultimate yass queen girl boss slay etc

but if that's the takeaway you get from the Feudalism Is Bad And The Chair Is A Metaphor For It books, then idk what to tell you. there's a lot of ways that you can interpret what grrm writes, but i can promise you that Conquest Is Good Sometimes is not one of them. characters want to be their own heroes and will always justify themselves however they need, but that's not the intention the reader is meant to take away from it - or at best should feel challenged by.

and dany is absolutely one of those characters. even tho she's not my personal favorite, she's a character that you're meant to both sympathize with because you've been on this whole journey with her, but also be challenged by the hard decisions ahead. its not about cut and dry good/evil, but understanding her motivations and why she makes those choices.

i think it's no question that dany will play a major part in the conflicts to come in the north and the war against the white walkers. to what capacity, i have no idea. as azor ahai, as nissa nissa? as somehow both? no idea. but what i think ultimately what dany will have to war with internally, will be choosing her war of conquest (the thing that's defined her personal growth and all of her strength) and the war for humanity.

the reason why i hate 'targ restoration' is because it reduces so many characters into this wildly simplistic box based on dynastic lineage. i super hate the inclusion of tyrion in this theory because he is Not a targaryen and that isn't the point of his story at all. and even tho jon's father is rhaegar, a large part of his arc revolving around identity is him carving out one for his own. all for him to start going by 'jon targaryen' in the end??? i litchrelly hate it. i do think jon and dany's arc are going to intertwine in some way and i hope its way more compelling than it was in the show, at least for my own sanity.

and lastly to the point of what dany's place in the world will be, i think that's something she struggles with now and will also struggle with in the future. there's the surface level wants and broad-stroke politics, but what i think is interesting will be to see a character like her rise to the heights that she will no doubt achieve in terms of Plot, but all she wants is the house with the red door.

there's an innate tragedy to just wanting to be as safe and home as she was when she was five, even if it was temporary, and what it will mean for her to ever have that again. this is really the difference between her and her brother viserys. he DOES remember, that WAS his life and his insanity is fueled by that being stripped away like so many other children in war. but it was never dany's. idk what the end of the series means for dany, but i really cant see the end of her story being with her sitting on that throne and restoring that dynasty from hell.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

While I know all recorded Irish myths are copies written down by Christian monks, but is there much left detailing the indigenous Irish view of the afterlife? Roman records say the continental Celts believed in reincarnation, but is that found anywhere in Irish texts? Thank you!

ehhhhhh so. i have been holding off on answering this one (sorry for the delay) bc this is one of those things where it's really not my area of expertise due to it being too complicated for me to want to wade into unless i really really care (and i am not particularly invested in it as a question, so i steer clear). i did at one point know more about this, because i was at one point more invested, but that was a long time ago, i have memory loss, and i am in a different city from all the books that might be able to help me

so with that caveat out of the way...

the short answer is no -- as far as i am aware there is nothing that unambiguously discusses pre-christian ideas about the afterlife, because christianisation precedes literacy in ireland and therefore everything is filtered through the christian worldview and they're not super interested in writing down things they consider to be heresies, unless they can rationalise it. however sometimes they do manage to rationalise stuff within a christian framework and therefore keep it (such as their attempts to fit the túatha dé danann in by claiming they're 'half-fallen angels' (heresy) or, at other times, demons who deceived people into thinking they were gods)

but by that point it's no longer unambiguous, you see, bc it's been rationalised into a specific framework

i do not think we have any archaeological or historical evidence that we can interpret as telling us anything about how they thought of the afterlife, but this is definitely not my area. i think there is evidence that offerings were left at some of the neolithic burial mounds during the iron age -- it's aaaages since i read up on this, so this is vague, but that suggests either that they're venerating those buried there, or that they've taken on new cosmological/spiritual significance to people who wouldn't know/remember what their original purpose was. which combines with some of the literature to be like "mounds?? afterlife?? otherworld??" (see below)

but like. i recommend reading some archaeologists about that bc i am very much pulling half-remembered info out of a cupboard in the back of my brain and that is not wildly reliable lmao

then the other answer is 'yes but it's literature' so we don't know to what extent it offers any insight into genuine religious practice vs being just a literary construct. there are various stories about ... not reincarnation per se, but people living many lives in many different forms and witnessing large swathes of history as a result. some of this comes up in stories about fintan mac bóchra for example, who was meant to have lived for thousands of years and witnessed a lot of history as a result.

there's also a story about a youth who talks to colum cille, and he talks about all the various things he saw in various different periods where he was different animals. what's interesting about this one is that when colum cille's followers show up, colum cille won't tell them what the youth said, because he doesn't think it's suitable for them to hear -- suggesting it's seen as being in some way incompatible with christianity, so might be implying non-christian beliefs. again, though, this is literature, and idk enough about this text to tell you how likely it is to reflect an oral tradition or a pre-christian belief and how much is like, a later author's ideas about what earlier people might have believed (bearing in mind they had access to a lot of latin texts so might be influenced by what the romans said about celts!)

re: other takes on the afterlife, in a lot of the immrama and echtrae stories (voyage tales, otherworld adventure tales), there's a lot of overlap between the irish otherworld and the christian afterlife, particularly purgatory, and this is the case from very early on. but this sense of confusion about whether the otherworld is for the living or whether it's a world of the dead might relate to people's beliefs about the nature of síd mounds (remember, they're often burial mounds as well as being associated with the otherworld, so it's easy for some slippage to happen there, and see above on archaeological stuff on that). and this shows up right into modern folklore, the 18th and 19th century stuff -- a lot of folklore involves seeing people they thought were dead feasting in the otherworld, and not being able to bring them back to the world of the living etc. again though very unclear how old that is, the christian influences are involved from early on, it's hard to untangle those strands

this is not a particularly detailed or supported answer i'm afraid bc i generally don't focus on those kind of mythological questions. i just find them too slippery and complex and i would prefer to focus on things like "this text says X and that's interesting because Y" because i am just a literary analyst at heart lmao. i get headaches whenever i have to deal with anything too complicated, and these kinds of things usually need to be done in conjunction with, like, archaeology and stuff, and that's something i've never been trained in!

i feel like this might be something mark williams discusses in ireland's immortals, at least in passing, but i am not near my copy so i cannot check

i'm making this non-rebloggable just because i don't feel confident enough in my answer to want it to circulate too widely but if anyone has anything to add, if you tag me in a post i'll edit this to add a link to those additions

[mahikamihan]

Hello!

Firstly, although I watch basically every crunchcraft stream, sometimes I miss details especially if multiple people are streaming at once, but I'll try my best and maybe have a look at the VODs tomorrow (which I am very happy to do btw)(and I haven't been able to watch any of Miyoungs solo stuff really because she streams too late for me TT ^ TT )

Ok so, I think we're on the same page with the pets- I don't think she ever gave them names- especially the llamas and her parrots- but i'll double check. I didn't watch when she got the cats so idk about that either.

Foolish has visited the deep dark (in the mine near his boat) a couple of times, and came across another portion of it when adventuring with Miyoung and Karl more recently.) But the first time he came across it was when mining for resources with Tina a couple of days after Karl joined- so significantly after his first death. I would agree that he is definitely more careful while in caves now, especially because he knows very little about the deep dark. However, he is very steadfast and curious by nature so he has been taking more risks. Besides just being curious and a bit stubborn, I think his persistance to mine and explore unsafe areas comes from him identifying his role (at least until sam started the iron farm) as the provider for the server- being the most competent minecrafter- risking his life in the pursuit of vital resources to ensure the future safety of his friends, e.g Iron armour for Tina.

The boys are really dedicated to the One Piece bit LMAO, so I predicted with Sykkuno being a marine it would create new tensions. In One Piece, even though there is competition and often battles between pirate crews to claim the title of king of the pirates etc., there is a common enemy in and unspoken alliance against the Marines (who are basically the government/ military) who want to take down all pirates. Therefore, in that way there could still be a significant and central rivalry between pirates like Karl and Foolish, while they acknowledge a wider issue in the common enemy of the marines aiming to stop them both.

Also yes, transcribing Karls book was a lot, but top tip, I figured out that (if you are on laptop/pc at least) you can screenshot/ clip the image of the page from the stream and then input it into a browser image to text converter, that made it a lot quicker.

Hope this helped!

I love talking Crunchcraft and I think sort of unintentional lore is so much more fun to make headcanons and interpret stuff from

I'll check in on ur blog so feel free to ask anything else- or if u just make a post about something I might send an ask with my take/ adding stuff if you'd like

-🦀

omg you don't have to look thru the vods if you're too busy! I'm just naturally curious about the little details 😅 (and yeah, miyoung streams late, it was a pretty dry of streams this morning, so I thankfully got a chance to catch up on some of Miyoung's and Tina's vods while at work)

i go on a pretty looooonnnngg discussion below the line, be warned! (hope you don't mind, I am just in such an inspired mood)

glad to know im not the only one having a hard time with the pet names :') I only knew of muffin bc Tina mentions her when she was talking to miyoung in one of her late night streams, and she got the cats from karl/foolish's streams when they were coming back from adventuring i think? idk if she ever picked names for the parrots/llamas, and she usually mentions them offhandedly in her streams so they're a blink or you'll miss it kind of thing compared to foolish and karl

it's actually SOOOO interesting that they found the deep dark after Foolish's first death, like, especially pretty early on when the revival system was placed! I kinda had a lore-y headcanon similarly that he was pretty level-headed leader and explorer, only much more rebellious and stubborn headed when he first joined the server. Through his first death, he has had this little anxiety that he carries with him about caves and unforeseen dangers now. He get very protective and afraid for his friends when they go in the dark, mining and such (I like a little angst sprinkled here and there). And he make judgements and analyses of other's first deaths as well in order to better himself (the vod reviews). I think crunchcraft!Foosh really understood the weight of his death bc through his hubris (love for treasure and recklessness), he left tina in a dangerous cave alone without a way to safely navigate back home that basically sparked this whole death tax and revival fees. Like imagine having a friend so so integral to your survival and well-being you bend the rules of the universe/server to just have them back. That's some fucking poetry like,,,, what in the accidental characterization that's just ... 🤌*chef's kiss*🤌

:O aaah! i'm so relieved you know one piece bc I would have never gotten that reference! ever! I hope they go through with it in their RP-ing, even a little bit, I would love love love to see it happen and the chaos that would ensue. esp if sykkuno is the opposing force sldklsdk *side eyes his first time meeting rae on mc he blowed her up accidentally*

omg the book thing is genius, im stealing that method now hehehe XD i was typing as i watch the entire time! ;-; i was about to quit thank god he only went up to 18 pages in mc

feel free to check in here every now and then, i think i might engage with more crunchcraft lore knowing that people are getting interested and looking forward to them now and again. I have like, one drabble for miyoung's first day on my queue ready to post and working on foolish's and maybe karl's first days as well. it's suuuuuper fun thinking about how they would be interpreted story/plot-wise!

[broodwolf221]

I keep thinking abt arlathan and its culture tbh

discussions of fictional slavery under the cut but also just me going off the deep end abt arlathan theories

ik that a lot of cultures have had some form of slavery - I still find it to be deeply troubling from a writing pov to portray the dalish deities as slavers and I always will

at the same time, it's now effectively canon. so I do think about it, about the culture around it, about what gave rise to it

first, it rly sounds like all elves had magic and that all elves were effectively immortal. uthenera is the closest they come to dying, and sometimes they would rise from that sleep

which leads me to conclude that the slaves had magic and were effectively immortal, too. but there's also a codex entry talking about how they spent themselves constructing things for the evanuris - whether it's literal or figurative is up for debate, bc in universe the codexes are written by people and are not an omniscient, absolute form of providing information, but it still seems safe to conclude that slaves were either worked to death or used their magic until it killed them

the evanuris were presumably the most magically powerful of the elvhen. whatever they started out as prior to the war, they became generals during it. but maybe that speaks more to their prior hierarchial position and/or their political or tactical capabilities more than their raw magical strength, which is interesting to consider

the inclusion of ghilan'nain in their ranks - and possibly june - is particularly interesting. june might have been included through marriage, but why ghilan'nain? in the ttrpg canon, ghil and andruil were a couple, but bioware has disavowed that canon (which, side note, is why I don't tend to consider books/comics/etc. "hard"/permanent canon - they've already shown a precedent for abandoning canon that might conflict with what they want to do with the games)

so really, in strict canon, what brought ghil into their ranks? her power? perhaps her gifts were rare... but if they included powerful mages with rare gifts, it seems like there would be more of them. ghil is the only one NOT of the family through blood or marriage (june is uncertain, for he's written as either sylaise's husband or one of mythal and elgar'nan's children... and frankly, both might be true - a focus on keeping "pure-blooded" rule is not without precedent)

so ghil is the only 100% confirmed evanuris not of the family. and if you want to take codexes literally - which, as I mentioned above, I take an codex entries with a huge grain of salt - then ghil may actually... not be a member of the sealed evanuris? bc she's a halla.

random theory time, but if ghil retained her immortality in her new form, then she might STILL be around as a halla. talk about a twist.... anyway! back to arlathan!

so, what is their culture based on? magical prowess? family ties and nepotism? martial prowess? wartime victories? a system of rank and nobility? how did the evanuris come into their position, how did they amass so much power that they could possibly spend the lives of slaves without a major backlash? why was it fen'harel who started the rebellion? why not the slaves themselves? why were the evanuris untouchable? what gave them their power? divine right to rule kinda thing? decorated wartime heroes holding onto their positions with an iron fist? and what fucking war??? how many wars did the evanuris have? who were they fighting against? the forgotten ones? the titans? both? there was a war that brought the evanuris into power, so that occured prior to the rebellion

but by how long? solas says they became generals, then were seen as kings, and eventually gods. in what timeframe? particularly wrt elvhen immortality... how did their perception change so dramatically if the elves alive when they were seen as gods were also alive before they were seen as generals?

or was it more like they were generals, seen as kings, then rebellion, destruction of arlathan, and now the dalish see them as gods?

like feel free to answer some of these, but again, note that I won't necessarily agree if ur answer relies on codexes or material outside the games. not to dissuade responses, just to clarify why I will likely continue to think about/maybe post about these questions even after ppl have given me "the answer".

things I am thinking about this morning: did arlathan understand germ theory? more broadly, what kind of technologies did they have - and what did they lack? esp considering magic as a major governing force

I don't think they would have known much about how disease or illness worked, because they can cure it so easily with magic - certainly some things were known, and individuals may have figured out more, but there would be little reason to preserve that knowledge

I could see them having a plumbing system tho

blacksmithing, pottery, painting (thus, acquisition/creation of pigments), tilework, weaving and its components (gathering/creating weavable material) all seem to be givens. tattooing ofc re the vallaslin. farming seems very likely, although they could have had a gathering culture instead. hunting ofc.

related: preservation of foodstuffs. curing of meat, etc. probably able to create wine and/or other alcohols, altho perhaps not out of necessity re: disease prevention/treatment from consumption of contaminated water, bc again, magic

I'm uncertain about how advanced their construction is, bc based on solas' description it sounds very organic - it is possible that it was created via magic instead of constructed

without trying to view "advancement" of civilizations as a linear path, I tend to see arlathan/elvhenan as further advanced than what comes after, the veil and the destruction setting technological breakthroughs back quite a ways. but there would be whole areas that they wouldn't need to focus on, which is interesting to consider

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - The Weird Little Shit

For: @darks-ink

A class discussion held by Wes about Danny’s weirdness was never not going to be an absolute cluster fuck

Wes smacks the board, “alright, fuckers, thank you for coming-”.

“We’re only here because we lost a bet”.

“Shut up, Dash. You shouldn’t have to be strong-armed into learning the truth”. Everyone rolls their eyes at Wes pretty actively. “Anyway, since you all refuse to see or even listen to the truth of what Danny Fenton is. Instead, this. Weird shit about Danny Fenton one oh one”.

Dash snorts, “now this I can get behind, little shit weighs, like, ten pounds or some shit”. Wes points at him aggressively, “exactly”. Scribbling down ‘weighs less than a sack of potatoes' on the board. Star throwing in her two cents, “yeah and I’ve seen Sam just pick him up under her arm and run off”.

Brittney smacks her desk, “half the time he makes food directly in home ec it’s fucking cold, which ew, but also really weird”.

“Oh yeah he does that with his drinks too. He whole ass ‘drank’ a solid chunk of ice, major power move honestly”.

“And remember that snowball fight? I don’t think he ever actually made any snowballs, he just kept acquiring them”.

“Kid made for a great air conditioner when all the windows got stuck shut though; guy runs cold as fuck”.

Wes is just aggressively scribbling more down with a mildly manic grin.

“We should totally invite him to parties so he can keep the fucking beer cold”.

Dash laughs loudly and smacks Dale on the arm, “now there’s an idea!”, deadpanning, “still not inviting freaky Fenton though”. Dale chuckles very awkwardly.

“Well he’s an ice sculptor so that’s not surprising”.

“What the fuck do you mean ‘ice sculptor’? He clearly lifts weights in his spare time”.

“Oh yeah, he lowkey picked up the back end of my car once”.

“James, your car is a tiny little piece of shit. I could lift that damn thing”.

“Hey”.

“Anyway. Like I was saying, people who handle cold shit all the time, you know, like ice sculptors, usually have cold hands”.

“He lifts weights! Not ice sculpts!”.

“Here I though he was a painter”.

“Why the fuck would he be doing that?”.

“Well he’s always randomly splattered in green paint”.

Basically everyone pauses to look at Hanna. Kwan blinking, “the green is ectoplasm, duh”. Emilie shrugging and nodding, “everyone knows that”.

“Well I thought it was paint”.

“Well you’re clearly stupid”.

“Shut up”.

Dash waves everyone off, “so clearly not a painter or weight lifter, because have you seen his goddamn noodle arms?”.

“He lifts weights!”.

“No he doesn’t!”.

“Who cares! Have you seen his dad? Of course he’s a strong little shit! What really gets me is him getting out of locked rooms”.

“Oh he whole ass climbs out windows and shit”.

“All that ecto that gets on his skin makes his hands all sticky, hence why he can climb the side of buildings”.

“When the heck did you see him doing that?”.

“Oh I totally saw him showing off knife swallowing to some elementary kids”.

“I think he hangs out and does drugs or some shit on the roof”.

“So he climbs up the school building to do drugs? Why wouldn’t he just use the hidden steps like a normal person?”,

“I’m pretty sure the kitchen staff actually include him in their budget for missing utensils cause he eats so many of them”.

“Julie, no one’s saying Danny’s close to normal. Also kids got an iron stomach damn”.

Dash has to jump in there, “I totally made him eat my underwear once”. Earning him a round of judging glances. “What? I didn’t expect him to actually do it. I was planning to mock him for pussying out. But then the little fucker went and did it”.

“Power move”.

“Shut up”.

“You fed your underwear to a guy who builds guns?”.

“Excuse me but what?”.

“Maybe him doing so much dangerous shit is why his heartbeats all slow and stuff”.

“Again, excuse?”.

“Well we totally tested everyone’s heart rates and breathing and shit and he’s super low. He blamed his corn supper”.

“That’s stupid”.

“His corn supper had teeth, Todd”.

“Back to the gun making because what?”.

“FentonWorks is a weapon company what do you expect?”.

“James, he made a shotgun out of a pencil, two toothpicks, an elastic band, and a snapped in half penny. The thing was magically welded together”.

“You can’t weld a fucking pencil. It’s wood, moron”.

“Well it was goddamn wielded”.

Wes grumbles, “yeah he welded my binder zipper together once, stupid pyrokinesis”. Star glares at him, “I thought this wasn’t about your crazy conspiracy crap?”. Wes glares at her like she’s stupid.

“Ignoring Wes being crazy again. You guys do know he has laser beam lipstick right? He could totally weld stuff with that”.

“Didn’t he have a tail that one day?”.

“Huh?”.

“That lipstick of his is the plasma peach one right? Because girl I so need some, it makes amazing blush”.

“Oh no a dog just crawled under his shirt. I think he was trying to hide the treats or some shit?”.

“Fucking where? in his shoulder blades?!?”.

“Oh my god that’s right, he can totally pop all his joints out so probably yeah”.

“Since when could he do that? Better yet, why? Fucking ow”.

“His fingers also glow green when he cracks them”.

“Right Right I remember that! We also got him under a black light, totally wild”.

“I wish I could pop out my joints randomly”.

“He probably just eats glow sticks and they leaked into his joints and shit”.

“THAT MAKES NO SENSE”.

“Who cares, take him to a rave”.

“Oh my god yes he does amazing makeup”.

“Wait Fenton does makeup now too?”.

Wes points at Dash, “he’s got to cover up the dead parlour to his skin somehow”. With half the class shouting, “HE’S NOT DEAD”.

Emilie pursing her lips, “but what if he was, that would be hot”.

“EXCUSE ME!?!”.

“Oh get off your vanilla basic bitch high horse, Karen”.

Wes rubs his forehead, “not this shit again”. Smacking the board, “weird shit about Fenton, people! Not y’alls weird necrophilia fetish!”.

“Hey that’s just Emilie”.

Jesse looks genuinely offended, “bitch what? Have you seen a ghost? That glow? Mmmmmh yeah, daddy”.

Star chokes, “oh my god. I love our town”.

Wes sighs, “I should just start blocking you people from seeing ghosts at all. Cover those eyes until you stop BEING FUCKING BLIND”.

“Eyes never stop seeing, they just get covered”.

“NO! NO! BAD!“.

“That weirdly reminds me that Danny can totally walk with his eyes closed”.

“That’s weird how?”.

“How ‘bout you fucking try it then!”.

Dash shrugs, “well his eyes go glowy green all the time so no surprise he can just see through his eyelids”. More than a few people look to him, “why did you not add that to the weird list?”.

“Because it’s not weird”.

“Dash... do you know anyone with goddamn glowing eyes... besides ghosts”.

“Uhhh the entire Defect Quartet”.

“Excuse?!?”.

“Honestly him biting open pop-cans is weirder”.

“Oh god yeah, that’s horrible to hear”.

“He dead ass cut his lip up once doing that and just... kept doing it. There was blood all over his neck”.

“Why the heck didn’t anyone take an edgy aesthetic photo of that? Goddamn”.

“I feel like this is more an off-the-books class on discovering that Danny might actually be hot”.

“You wanna say Fenton’s hot again? I’ll goddamn choke you, motherfucker”.

“Do it you fake ass bear dom”.

A couple of people shuffle out of their desks and away when Dash actually throws a punch at Jasper.

“On a side note, once saw Danny sleeping in a trash can”.

“How is that weird”.

“How isn’t it? It’s a trashcan”.

“And he’s trash, your point”.

“YOU'RE GONNA HAVETA HIT HARDER IF YOU WANT TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION ON YOUR TWINK BOY! HE’S DURABLE AS FUCK!”.

“FUCK YOU!!!”.

“Huh, he did survive falling from the ceiling multiple times and that drowning once”.

“Fucker wasn’t drowned, he can breathe underwater���.

“Excuse me?”.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?!”.

Dash snapping his head around, “IM TEACHING HIM A LESSON!”. Jasper just smirks, “I DON’T NEED BREATH PLAY TIPS FROM YOU!”. Dash tries punching him again.

“This is ridiculous, I mean really, Danny would be the dom”. That silenced the entire room.

“What?”.

“Come on, he ate Skulker once ‘cause the guy was coping him an attitude”.

“DANNY EATS GHOSTS?!?”.

Wes turns around and slams his head on the board, “God fuck this is such a cluster fuck”.

“You’re hosting this and holding us hostage here”.

“YOU’RE NOT MY HOSTAGES! YALL LOST A BET!”.

“Oh suck my toes”.

“WHAT?!”.

“While Wes loses his mind for the fifth time this week, what we’ve got is he’s icy as shit, likes welding and makeup and ice sculptures and weight lifting, weighs fuck all, just vores goddamn everything, and climbs shit weirdly well?”.

“You’re forgetting all the glow shit”.

“HA! Glowing shit”.

“Fuck Todd, you are a dumbass”.

“IN SHORT LOCAL ELDRITCH TEEN BUT HE’S STILL NOT A GODDAMN GHOST WES!”

“FUCK YOU! IT’S SO GODDAMN OBVIOUS HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE LIKE THIS OHMYGOD!”.

Just then Danny Fenton opens up the door, the class going dead silent while he glances around slowly. Him looking to the whiteboard, then slowly back to his fellow teens, speaking “Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no”, while slowly backing out and closing the door.

At first, no one says anything before Star snickers, “pffft”; the entire classroom bursting out into laughter directly afterwards.

Wes turning around and smacking his head on the board once again, “why. Just. Why me”.

END.

Prompt: Wacky reveals (ex: Danny drying up too quickly bc intangibility, Danny's drink stays cool way too long, people's electronic devices are always more charged when they've been near Danny, etc)

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twelve

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: this took so long bc ive been reading chain of iron and in general agonizing over things i cant control instead of being productive 🥴 that being said, absolutely none of the events in this chapter were planned in my outline, but here we are with something new!

***

December brings more snow and bone chilling weather, to the point where Cassian has to drag Nesta out of bed, either physically or by phone call, to get her to therapy appointments on time. 

She’s in the waiting room one freezing morning when, in her utter boredom, she musters up the nerve to turn to the girl sitting next to her. “What are you in here for?”

The girl blinks her large blue eyes, taking notice of Nesta for the first time. Nesta uses the opportunity to take in her freckle-painted face, a little wan but beautiful. Reddish brown hair hangs around her face and shoulders, creating a thick curtain from the rest of the world, and Nesta’s curiosity piques like she’s just found a shiny new toy.

It probably isn’t right to compare people to toys, but then the girl says, “This isn’t prison, you know.” Her voice is deep, almost sultry— completely at odds from her huddled-in posture and sickened expression. “I didn’t commit a crime to have to be here.”

Is she insulted by Nesta’s question, or is she poking a joke? Nesta decides to play it safe by murmuring, “Sorry, never mind.”

She starts to turn away when the girl says, “We’re trying a new type of trauma therapy today. I had to get here half an hour early because I couldn’t swallow my nerves.”

Nesta might lack many social skills, but she isn’t stupid enough to ask what kind of trauma the girl is being treated for. Instead, she nods casually as if she understands the struggle. “I’ve been coming here for weeks now and I’ve barely discussed shit. That’s mostly on me, but you know…” She actually doesn’t know where she’s going with her train of thought. “It sounds brave to do whatever you're doing,” she states finally. “I don’t think I’ll be able to open up that much about myself, ever.” 

The girl gives Nesta a weird look that she immediately recognizes. Nesta uses it every time she doesn’t know how to respond to someone who takes her by surprise.

The door to Lana’s office clicks open, and the woman herself pokes her head out with a plain smile. “Ready, Nesta?”

Nesta bites down on her frown. She has a feeling today won’t be as easy as her past sessions.

She’s about to leave without another glance at the girl beside her when that low voice speaks up. “I’m Gwyn.”

Nesta looks back at her as she gets up from her chair, and says the first reply that comes to mind: “Good to know.”

***

Nesta is contemplative hours after she gets back from her therapy session, bundled up in her bed with a coloring book. The repetitive motion of filling in the mandala drawing lets her mind wander, picking up and dropping different thoughts like she’s inspecting stones. 

She keeps her wrist light as she colors in with red. She finally said Tomas’s name in therapy today, though the action left a slimy feeling in Nesta’s stomach that lingers even now. She also spoke about her sisters, which somehow ended up leading to a discussion of her uterus. 

“How have you been dealing with the endometriosis news?”

Nesta shrugged. “I’m getting treated, and my last period was more bearable than usual—”

“I mean mentally, how are you doing? With how your condition could affect your future?”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “Affect me how?”

“Have you never considered the impact it could have on your ability to bear children?”

“Not everything in life is about bearing children, you know.”

“We’re humans. It’s definitely something to consider.”

“Not for me. I’ve never wanted kids.” A mistruth at best. “I don’t care what endo does or doesn’t do to me on those grounds.”

In a way, Nesta told herself, the health risks were actually for the best. If she ever did, by some stupid loss of sanity, try to have children, then her body would act as a safety net from her decisions.

Lana only said, “You’ll never know how much you care or don’t care until you talk out your feelings.”

“Then I guess we’ll never know.”

Nesta lets the memory of that conversation drop like a stone on a shore. That’s not something she has to face for a good long while. No, right now she has to face her past. 

Her sisters, and her ex, and even her father— 

I wonder if I came off too strong with Gwyn today. 

Her hand stops drawing, and she switches out her red marker for an orange one. This thought she doesn’t mind inspecting for a little longer: she and Gwyn ended up leaving their sessions at the same time, which meant they were forced into stilted conversation on the way down to the parking lot. 

Not forced, Nesta self-corrects. She willingly initiated a conversation, and it didn’t go terribly. She wonders if making friends in therapy waiting rooms is a real thing.

Her phone vibrates beside her, breaking her hours-long mental bubble. Blinking dazedly, she answers the phone call.

“How are you?” is the first thing Cassian says to her. He makes sure to ask her that at least twice a day, like a gauging of her temperature. It makes Nesta wonder what she’s ever done in her life to call for such… attention to her well-being. 

“I’m good,” she answers honestly. “My head’s a little loud right now, but I don’t mind it.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No, I’d rather hear you talk.” She slumps back against her pillows, coloring book forgotten. “What’s up?”

“Ah...” Cassian sounds hesitant for the first time since their relationship started. “It’s just that I haven’t gotten my Christmas decorations up yet, and I was going to ask if you wanted to help.”

Nesta takes a moment to absorb his words. “It’s December fifth,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“You just seem like somebody who does their decorations the day after Thanksgiving.”

“Well, this year is a little different, with you moving out and being busy with school…” He pauses. “I was waiting to do it with you.”

When she doesn’t reply, Cassian adds, “I don’t even know if you care about Christmas. I know you and your family sort of ignored holidays. It’s fine if you don’t want to—”

“I’ll be over right now,” Nesta blurts. 

Half an hour later, Cassian swings open his door with a smug grin on his face; a vast difference from the stammering hesitance he displayed over the phone earlier. Nesta’s own lips want to pull up into a smile just at the sight of him, but she holds back and narrows her eyes instead. “What’s got you so worked up?” she questions as she steps into the warmth of the cabin and out of the freezing cold.

“The way you ran over here as soon as I asked.” He looks her up and down, still amused. “You didn’t even bother to change, did you?”

It’s true: she’s in the same sweatpants and long sleeved tee she wore around home, and her socked feet are shoved into slippers. 

“Get that smirk off your face.” Nesta flicks his nose before tossing her coat off. “If this is a competition about who’s got a bigger puppy-crush for whom, you already won when you delayed putting up your Christmas decorations for me.”

“Fair enough,” he grins. The words send an unexpected pang through Nesta, because it’s partly true, isn’t it? He cares more openly for her than she does for him. 

She looks away in guilt, not knowing how to fix the imbalance. Her eyes land on the living room coffee table, where their half-finished jigsaw puzzle sits. It’s been stored under the couch for the past few weeks, forgotten by Nesta and Cassian alike as they moved on with their lives, but now it’s sitting out again.

“Have you been working on the puzzle without me?” She raises an inquisitive brow, about to feel— hurt.

“Never,” Cassian promises, saving her from that irrational hurt. “I just brought it out because I figured we should get to finishing it one day.”

She pads over to the table, picking up a puzzle piece and turning it over in her hand. “I don’t know if you remember, but we had a terrible time working on this,” she scoffs lightly.

“Oh, I remember,” he says, coming up behind her and stealing the piece from her grasp. “I think it’s safe to say those evenings were the worst fights we’ll ever have together.”

Nesta leans back against Cassian’s chest and hums. “It made us a stronger couple, don’t you think?” She turns her head up and back to meet Cassian’s eyes, finding that he’s already looking down at her.

Hypnotized, she leans into his warmth. She only manages to land the smallest kiss against his lips when his hand squeezes her ass cheek. “You’re here for a job, remember?” He taps her butt before pulling away, gesturing to the Christmas tree in the corner of the living area with his chin. It stands bare. “You do tinsel, I’ll do lights.”

Tinsel is harder to work with than Nesta remembers. She only manages to get half the tree done before plopping onto the Persian rug, exhausted and covered in silvery material. She doesn’t mind laying there while Cassian continues working; it’s her revenge for when he napped on her bed while she moved in.

“You know the stair railings still need to be wreathed, Archeron.”

Nesta declines to respond, tilting her head on the carpet for a better view of her boyfriend’s ass instead. “All this decorating,” she starts. “Is it just for you?”

Cassian turns to her, surprised. “Well…”

She pushes up onto her elbows, catching her mistake. “Are we doing Christmas together? Or are your friends coming over?” She hasn’t bothered to celebrate Christmas in years now, and she doesn’t care much what Cassian’s plans are either way.

“I was hoping for both?” He sounds hesitant. “Christmas Eve is all the way over in Velaris, but I was thinking we could go together, open some presents, and come back and spend Christmas here.”

Nesta purses her lips. She doesn’t actually hate that plan. Both Feyre and Elain have been pestering her with the annual texts asking her to visit for Christmas, and for once, she feels like responding to them. The invitation is more of a formality than an actual request at this point; she doubts her sisters want her there after years of rejections, but… what’s the harm?

“Is that a yes?” Cassian asks at her unreadable face.

“Yes,” she states unflinchingly. She refuses to overthink the possible consequences of this choice and chooses to focus on the broad grin overtaking Cassian’s face. “Really?” he says.

“But there has to be rules.” Nesta sits up fully now. “No one can know we’re together, no matter how much you trust or love them.”

“We already agreed to that, baby.”

Yes, but Nesta knows the secret weighs on him heavier than he shows— even if he agrees with her that it's for the best. “It’ll be different when we’re together in the same room as everyone else,” she says. Cassian wears his beating heart on his sleeve, and she doesn’t think he’s ever had to hide it before.

“You’ll also be different,” she adds. “It’s a huge change of pace.”

Cassian drops the remaining strand of lights and smiles confusedly down at her. “What do you mean, I’ll be different?” He sits across from her, before the blazing fire. 

“You know how you get around your friends.” Nesta shrugs without a thought. “Like your personality readjusts to mirror the people around you. I used to find it a mix of sad and adorable, like a neglected puppy desperate for love, but now I— okay, I still feel the same way.” She waves a hand in a dismissive gesture.

By the look on Cassian’s face, he does not find her words so easily dismissed. 

Coldness curdles in the pit of Nesta’s stomach, the realization that she’s said something wrong. She can’t fix it until she knows where she fucked up, though.

“Is that what you think of me?” Cassian finally says lowly. His usually expressive mouth is drawn tight and narrow. 

“Um… What would you rather I think of you?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “Seriously, Nesta?”

Nesta’s back stiffens, refusing to cower. “I only described what I’ve observed in the past.”

“And what you observed was a desperate puppy?” His voice is cold in a way she’s never heard before.

Okay, she’s starting to see how that might be offensive. She forges onward, “Tell me what you think about yourself in the presence of your family, then.” It’s a private victory that she says family instead of clown circus. But she’s not trying to turn this into a fight.

Cassian is silent, but his stare continues to rage at her.

“Tell me,” Nesta repeats.

His hands curl into fists on the rug. “I think I’m empathetic, easy to talk to, and easier to be around. Is it a problem if I’m likable?” Unlike you are the unsaid words.

Nesta inspects the space between them like it’s a chessboard. “And what part of yourself are you giving up to be so likable, Cassian?” she says quietly.

“Nothing.”

Nesta disagrees, if only because she’s been watching him out of the corner of her eye for years. “I think you base your personality off of those you love, and you lose a little bit of your true self every time you put others’ needs before your own.” 

She shuts her mouth, not having expected such honesty to come out of it. Cassian is taken aback, too, she can tell.

“And I guess it’s natural that you’d see all of that as a bad thing, considering your history of being closed off and self-serving to a fault,” he fires back with the flatness Nesta utilizes so often.

One for one. Fair enough. “We’re both right then,” Nesta says. “You work for your best friend because you have no ambition beyond serving your family, and I have no such family because I can’t bring myself to care about those things. Are we even now?”

Cassian furrows his brows, those defensive walls melting away as he realizes she’s completely serious. “What? No, Nes—” He shakes his head. “Okay, so maybe you’re right about me. Maybe I agree with you a little bit, but… If we see flaws in each other, then we should be working to overcome them instead of weaponizing them.”

Now Nesta’s the one shaking her head, quickly lifting a hand to stop him. “Relax there, sweetheart. I have no expectations from you or myself to go on some self-improvement journey now that we’re together. Talking about my feelings with a professional every week is hard enough.” Yes, agreeing to go to Feyre’s Christmas party is improvement. Slow, barely there improvement, but enough to wear her out for the rest of the month. For Nesta to fully let people into her life, to treat them as lovingly as she treats Cassian— that’s a long way away. She can’t envision it, doesn’t even know if she wants it.

Cassian must understand some of what she’s thinking, because he nods and backs off. He gets back up and returns to stringing lights, tossing a handful of tinsel at Nesta as if to say Get back to work. 

She stands and obeys, thinking their not-argument is officially over when Cassian says, “You’re wrong about one thing.”

She looks up from where she threads tinsel through fir leaves. He doesn’t take his eyes off his work as he says, “You do have a family. And deep, deep down, you care about them as much as I care about mine.”

***

Nesta catches Emerie’s eye as the dark-haired beauty walks into the pub. Raising a hand and waving, she gestures Emerie over to the booth she’s sitting in. 

“Look what I found,” Nesta says with a hint of pride, pointing to the redhead sitting beside her. “A third girl for girl’s night!”

“I was kidnapped,” Gwyn speaks up. “Jumped on the way to my car.” She’s out of her usual hoodie and in a tight-fitting blouse, looking stunning even while seeming out of place in the dim bar.

“She came here consensually,” Nesta retorts. “Emerie, this is Gwyn. We met at therapy.”

Gwyn offers Emerie an awkward smile.

Emerie slides into the booth across from them with raised brows. She looks between Nesta and the new girl and back again. “You invited her here? All by yourself?” she asks.

Nesta nods firmly.

Emerie breaks into a wide grin and reaches over the table to grab Nesta’s hand. “I’m so proud of you!” If Emerie were anyone else, she’d be squealing in excitement, but Emerie does not squeal.

Nesta waves off her friend’s praise, though a part of her wants to beam at it, too.

Gwyn glances between the two of them with slight amusement. “I mean, it’s not that impressive,” she says. “She came on a bit too strong, probably a five out of ten on the asking-someone-out scale.”

“‘A bit too strong’ is all you’re gonna get with Nesta,” Emerie says, lifting her hand to order drinks. “She’s all-or-nothing, and most people would pray she doesn’t give them her nothing.”

Nesta doesn’t know if that’s a compliment, but she supposes there are worse things that could be said about her.

“So, Gwyn, what do you do?” Emerie leans forward. “All our friends are law students and it’s starting to get boring.”

Gwyn goes off about her librarian job as Nesta orders their drinks, and Emerie rests her chin in her hand and listens eagerly. Christmas music plays softly in the background and snow flurries gently outside. Nesta thinks she can’t be doing that bad in life, if she’s managed to carve out this little slice of happiness for herself.

***

a/n: i promise shit actually happens next chapter! we're getting christmas with nessian and the ic in the same room for the first time

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson

[janiedean]

grrm: spends pages upon pages describing everything wrong with the westerosi ruling class and how their games are affecting the smallfolk and they have no say in anything and no matter how benevolent their rulers they end up suffering often because of politics and all the nobility continue to fight for power with no regard to human life --

fandom: here are 85 reasons why my favorite is ending up on the iron throne and why they deserve to and if you don't see it this way you are an idiot

(honest the one thing i loved from that dumb finale was drogon burning the fucking ugly chair lmfao not that it made any difference but yea)

I'll agree on drogon and again the spirit of the small council as the only two things that were sort of decent but I mean....... I'm beating on a dead horse here as you're pointing it out but again:

today it's apparently unheard of to actually read up on what an author thinks/their biography/their previous work and just go off but like.... grrm was a vietnam war conscience objector and he wrote an entire book about that specific matter and about how he thought his generation failed at changing things for the better and idk how to break it to people but being a vietnam war conscience objector in the seventies basically was... the most leftist position you could have, and we're here discussing who gets the iron trap as if it's a good thing? like grrm is anti-war, most likely as anti-establishment as a us american is going to get and a damned lapsed catholic and I have to presume he's telling me a story about how great it is that you have a good king ruling the land where the good people™ eventually get the happy ending by getting the iron trap and the bad people™ don't get redeemed and die?

because like....... that's not the story he's telling, there's a lot more there including the pro-environment angle but like grrm's politics are pretty obvious just reading asoiaf but if you read the rest of his stuff they're just blatantly glaring and if someone tells you hey I'm writing a thing to deconstruct stuff and then you interpret it straight-up.... then you're doing the contrary of what he's doing

also esp the fact that ppl with money and power don't gaf about the smallfolk which... let's just ignore that grrm said that his favorite part to write was brienne talking to the elder brother about soldiers with ptsd shall we

also the entire schtick is that pOWER CORRUPTS AND IT'S A BAD THING UNLESS YOU DON'T WANT IT AND YOU ONLY TOOK IT BC YOU HAD TO AND YOU KEEP THAT IN MIND and... the eventual reward should be having power? idt so

tldr: the day people realizes grrm is not writing a story about how great it is to live under a monarch we're going to actually get somewhere

[kikishead]

I can't just leave it at this I need to rant a little.

Like this discussion is so black and white, and everyone completely ignores the fact that the others' experiences may be just as valid. This is my personal view on it from my personal experience.

As a European, I get that it is frustrating to constantly be bombarded with American things. Like American movies, songs, books, political discussions, and news. And America has so much power over other countries, including European ones. Our lifes are often centred around America, especially when you're on english speaking social media. And American imperialism is a very real thing. The US is almost the only country that has actual cultural power over Europe.

So europeans, especially those who are not used to another country having cultural power over them, will feel threatened. And that's one reason why europeans hate on Americans so much. Because they treat us the way we treat other countries.

And americans saying "Oh you want to be us so bad, and that's why you're hating" is kinda stupid. Like, no, we just get America shoved down our throats.

But another reason for europeans hating on America is that europeans tend to think that we're better and more humane than everyone else. (I know very ironic considering what we did and still do to the rest of the world) When we hate on America, we can openly show this false belief of superiority without being called out for being racist/xenophobic/just straight up assholes bc "look at America with all of their problems and their whole "America first" spiel ofc you're not a dick for making fun of them". Ofc that does not apply to all europeans but to some.

But to be honest, we're often not any better than Americans. Racism is just as big of an issue in europe as it is in America, the way we treat people trying to find refuge in europe is just as bad as the way America treats Mexican people on their border and we suck at geography just as much with the only exception that we know Europe's and northamericas geography (not even the whole of europe). (I mean, it is a stereotype that Americans can't even point out the continents, and I guess most europeans can do that, but still). Europeans like to complain that Americans treat europe as a playground or that they generalise us, but we do the same thing to Africa and asia. And quite a lot of Americans seem to be ignorant of how much power their country has over other countries and stuff, but I can't really blame them. I mean europeans are often ignorant of how much influence europe has. If Americans only saw the stupid and entitled europeans, they would think that we're fcking idiots too. (And there are a lot of Americans who think that about Europeans, which is fair tbh)

Like I mentioned in the beginning, there is a very strong focus on America in europe. And this is one of the reasons why europeans hate on Americans so much.

However hating on America won't divert that focus back to our own countries. If anything, it will make our focus on America way stronger, and we often ignore the problems in our own countries bc of that. An example of that is when the black lives matter movement became very big in 2020. I saw so many comments of european people who were like, "Oh yeah racism in America is such a big issue, but why are there black lives matter protests here in Germany? Like we're not as racist as racist as them." And there are so many things to criticise about comments like that, but I won't get into that right now. They just show how the focus on American society and politics makes us blind to our own. But also europeans use that. When they support the black lives matter movement in America, they can label themselves as antiracist, without actually doing the same amount of work a white American antiracist has to do bc they don't have to question their own society and culture as long as they focus on racism in America. This is not necessarily something europeans do consciously bc as I mentioned before , we often get introduced to blm and other social justice movements by Americans on social media, so we automatically get a very American perspective on these things. meaning we know how racism is part of the dominant American culture but if we don't do the work to research on the history in our own countries ( or find creators from our own countries who talk about racism in our country) we are ignorant to how racism is part of the culture of our country. But a lot of europeans choose to be ignorant of racism in europe in the same way a lot of white Americans choose to be ignorant of racism in America. But this is just one example.

Like I said before, the focus on American issues leads to (sometimes willful) ignorance towards the issues that are going on in ones own country. But it also leads to people automatically applying American social issues (and their complex cultural details) to their own country. For example, when I look at discussions about feminism in Germany, a lot of times, American statistics are used. Meaning they take a study that was conducted in America with American test subjects and apply it to Germany. There are some studies that were made in Germany (I guess) but they are not well known and not used a lot in discussions about sexism and other social and cultural issues. While the dominant American and dominant German culture have some similarities they are not the same. The same study may have different results in Germany than in America. And we need studies that have been done in Germany to get an idea of problems in Germany. Also there may be some problems in Germany that don't exist in America or that don't exist in the same way in America.

So to summarize: America has power over Europe (American imperialism). Europeans hate on and make fun of Americans bc we constantly get American stuff showed down our throats, we get to feel superior to them without being called out for being racist/xenophobic. Europe is not that much better than America. We're lowkey just pissed bc America treats us the way we treat other countries and continents. The focus on America does not get less from us hating on and making fun of them. The focus on America leads to ignorance regarding social issues in europe.

Some last notes: I probably overanalysed this, but it lowkey got from making fun of one another to straight-up fighting, so maybe it's warranted. We should just start being able to recognise that both Europe and America are shit in a lot of ways and allow ourselves to laugh at jokes about our countries that are not crossing a line (like making fun of mass shootings and stuff like that will never sit right for me). English is obviously my second language, and I have not written a text this long in English since I graduated high school, which was last year, so if this is a complete mess, I am sorry. I tried to organise my thoughts a little bit and tumblr corrected some grammar mistakes and stuff, but idk how well that worked out.

Honestly this whole thing of europeans hating on Americans and Americans hating on Europeans and getting mad about Europeans hating on Americans and then Europeans being pissed that Americans are mad about them hating on America is so weird to me.

[starredfishing]

:000 just saw your hoshaido Felix au and,,, bro it’s so galaxy brain would you be willing to share more about it?

yes ofc thank u for asking!!! ^^

gonna put it under a read more bc ive got alot of thoughts

gonna kinda rehash my thoughts from scattered posts into here ig?

- so first and foremost i figure hoshido and fodlan are Around at the same time. i dont have any historical backing for this but if FEH exists I can Believe,,, anyway fodlan leaders + the church go overseas to discuss political stuff idk what i didnt think id get this far. but rodrigue and her meet and bond and when he eventually leaves hoshido he kinda doesnt want to go but they send each other letters for a few years and begin informally courting before she moves to fodlan to marry him

- she's a spitfire for sure. she strikes me as an archer idk why its just vibes but shes also an amazing swordswoman like her brother. she def challenged rodrigue to a few battles

- i wanna believe the only reason many fodlan nobles accepted her was because of her royal status, forming a mild treaty between hoshido and faerghus with the marriage. many claim it was all a set-up, but those who knew them saw they were truly in love

- her name is Homare, meaning honor or victory. rodrigue has a tendency to stress the wrong syllable and king lambert bless his heart cannot for the life of him say her name. she doesnt think its that hard but gives him a pass bc hes the king and its funny to watch him stumble.

- she is never called by her name in court, or by other nobles. she is only ever Duchess Fraldarius. there are whispers that she is as unruly as an untamed horse (a mare, they say) and that the duke must domesticate her. she ignores the whispers but they just keep getting louder and louder until she has glenn.

- rodrigue sortof implies he doesn't want his kids to have hoshidan names bc of the backlash. homare relents both times but secretly names them something else in her mind, a secret she took to her grave that felix only finds in a letter addressed to him under her bed long long after she's passed. glenn was to be hiro (generous, tolerant) and felix would be kenjirou (intelligent second son). he thinks its ironic glenn was almost named something close to 'hero' and that's who he became in his death.

- they never Talked about it. felix was pretty young when she passed (im gonna guess somewhere like 8-ish, the plague got her and the queen at the same time) and he doesnt really remember her. glenn just says 'she was really cool' as if that like, explains anything.

- after the war felix comes back to an empty mansion and starts the process of going through his father's things. he's in his parents' room and he's searching under the bed when a wood panel knocks loose. underneath it is a box of his mother's things with letters addressed to him, glenn, and rodrigue. felix reads all three and learns about her hoshidan heritage, which she was unable to ever speak about in faerghus.

- he ends up contacting the hoshidan royal family because 'whoops your aunt was my mom and i kinda didnt find out until now'. he kinda wishes he'd seen this coming but there were signs here and there. he and glenn have her sharp eyes, glenn had her nose, felix has unreasonably tan skin for faerghus weather (i can Dream pls i know hes so pale in the art). he thinks maybe he was lucky to look nothing like her. but he also wishes he looked more like her. he does have her spiky unruly hair, though. a staple of the hoshidan royal family.

- he tells sylvain and dimitri first bc of course he does. he gingerly sets a paper fan and a long hair pin on dimitris desk and is like 'i dont. know what to do with these.' and dimitris like...do you want to Keep them? and felix is like. yeah. (he tries to pin his hair back with the thing it doesnt work but for a second he feels connected to something)

- ingrid voice so i found like every book abt hoshido in the library ("there are books about hoshido in the royal library?") for you to read if you want :D

- his mom had an accent he just choked that up to her being 'from outside the kingdom' as rodrigue put it.

- I WANT FELIX AND GLENN TO HAVE THE DRAGON VEIN pls it'd be so fucking funny like all of a sudden it Activates when hes in hoshido and takumis like 'yep youre one of us for sure' as felix is like. i just terraformed the Entire garden behind me,

- glenn grew up with whispers all around him about his heritage but by the time felix is born the talk about the duchess being from hoshido has faded out because they Never Talk About It. he threw a punch at a kid at the academy once for calling him a slur and rodrigue is like aah maybe dont do that?? but homares not around anymore to back him up

- glenn does his. best to pass on the 'be proud of yourself' mentality to felix without revealing Why bc rodrigue is rlly strict abt that (he and glenn had a lot of fights abt it. felix was too young to understand)

- homare, the queen (astrid), and the margravine gautier (giselle) were besties bc i feel it in my soul its abt the heredetary besties,,,,

- bringing it full circle the blue lions go to hoshido to work out trade agreement and it gives felix a chance to Bond with his estranged family. its really REALLY awkward esp bc theres a language barrier but the family is patient with him. both of them have lost their parents so theyre really excited to have More family

- except takumi and hinoka. theyre a bit distrustful of felix at first even though he has Proof that his mother was Princess Homare of Hoshido. and then he terraforms the garden w a rogue dragon vein. and takumis like WHOA ok. and he swordfights ryoma and WINS and hinoka is like YEAH OKAY!!!

- hoshidan royal family vs the concept of crests what will they do. they see the king break smth in half by accident and theyre like damn white ppl r built different

idk if this was like ANY of what u asked for feel free to ask more specific questions if u want!!! sorry its so long i just hhhgnngh sobs felix,,,,

[aitarose]

SEVEN AM (T. OIKAWA) ⤷ pairing: oikawa tooru x fem!reader

synopsis: between wrinkled bedsheets and lost undergarments, the evening of your dreams is one of a living nightmare—you, alone in a simple bed without its king. 

word count: 1.2k

genre: fuck boi!tooru, best friend!reader, one night stand, one-sided pining, angsty angst

warnings: extremely suggestive content, swearing, slight obsession, brief mentions of intercourse :( but not fully descriptive bc i’m a minor haha ok

24 hours collab masterpost

notes: for bby ly’s (@kyotarou) collab that i already forgot the name of oopsie brb OK it’s called the 24 hours collab aha aha there we go. also half of this takes place at like midnight umm chile anyways

It’d been a spur-of-the-moment decision, something that you’d relived over and over again within the constructs of your own mind—but never believed would actually come true. It was the very thing that you’d wished for most in all of your months by his side, never realizing that it was right within your grasp.

The dream being just beneath your skin, hands laced together through gentle movements and breathless moans, all occurring in one single night of ecstasy. 

A night that had been, of course, proceeded by your typical evening of celebration. The excited haze of energy that followed a perfect win on the court—victory for Club Athletico San Juan, which was led by none other than their esteemed setter—your best friend, Oikawa Tooru. 

You’d walked out of the bar together after eleven PM, hand-in-hand, him swinging your palms back and forth whilst you strolled down the spaced pavements—avoiding crazed traffic and wandering strangers—heading towards your quaint apartment which sat peacefully atop the local cafe. 

One after the other, the two of you stepped inside—locking the door behind you as you dropped your abandoned shoes on the mat, having taken them off hours earlier in the midst of dancing. His hand had never left the small of your back, guiding your steps towards the cozy kitchen with a dream-like cloud floating through the air. 

You’d offered him a mug of decaffeinated coffee, turning on the machine with the muscle memory of countless similar nights, not noticing the hardness of his gaze. There had been a glint in his eyes—an expression you’d never quite seen before displayed on his features as you turned to face him, the only sound being the soft grinds of the water heater. 

There wasn’t any verbal discussion, no command that had signaled him to rush over and take your jaw between his calloused fingers. Only a split second of eye contact, both of you having the same wish in that moment—to finally know the feeling of your lips on his in an ever-seizing kiss. 

And it really had been everything you’d dreamed of. Soft and passionate, perfection in terms of intimacy—a seemingly life-changing kiss between you and your best friend. The very person you’d been falling for for years on years now. The man that you imagined yourself meeting at the end of a rose covered aisle in beautiful designer attire. 

The path from the kitchen to your bedroom hadn’t taken long to conquer, strewn clothing across the floor, like scattered treats in the woods on the way to the witches hut. A desirable sight, but also one that would inevitably lead to pain and heartbreak—and unfortunately for you, those outcomes had never crossed your mind, not even once. 

But now, as you lay awake—facing the bedroom wall in an attempt to ignore the rising sunlight—there was a physical pain in your chest. The bonds of your being snapping into two as you heard him roll out of bed, groaning at the bright rays whilst his regretful actions cycled through his mind. 

“Shit.” You heard him mumble as you turned slightly to see him run a hand through his disheveled locks. He was biting his lip, tapping his foot against the hard wood floor with his eyes on the window, staring out into the incoming horizon with reddened irises. “Shit.”

Oikawa stood, abandoning the bodily indent in the comforter and scrambling to find his clothing. It seemed as if he were more focused on the location of his belt than the status of your relationship—all the more confirming that you were nothing but another one of his flings. Another one of his famous one night stands. 

“Tooru?” You called out, sitting up with your elbows as support, a fully serious gaze falling upon his eyes of fear as his attention snapped around. “Tooru, where are you going? Do you have an early practice?”

There was a part of you that wanted to believe that he did have an excuse for trying to leave you. That there was a valid reason as to why he hadn’t held you through the morning haze, why he hadn’t pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head in an attempt to wake you softly—why he hadn’t confessed any true feelings for you in the night turned dawn?

But all of your worries were confirmed at his reaction. His usually charming cheeks were replaced with ones devoid of commitment or love, his stance being awkward and weary rather than comfortable and content in your presence. He was practically a different person. 

You didn’t know this Oikawa Tooru, you hadn’t ever known the man before you now—but all the women at the bar, the fans in the stands, girls at the beach who’d whistle in his way and send him flirty glances had always been familiar with this feeling of longing. 

It was the tone of rejection and regrets, stolen kisses that had been thrown into the bin—taken away to the sea and lost in the landfill of broken hearts and mixed emotions. He didn’t need to come up with a response to your wonders, knowing that you were smarter than his empty promises and lies. All that was needed was a pained shake of the head and the stale wake of his absence. 

Tears rained down your make-up smudged skin at the sound of the front door closing, the realization of reality setting in—the reality that he would likely never take a walk with you on your path of life again. Your streets were at one for what you wanted to be forever—but forever doesn’t always last, does it?

No, because if it did you wouldn’t be driving down the boulevard of broken dreams with an open hand—an open hand that was, for some reason, still waiting for him to come back. Still hoping with every part of your soul that he would come rushing into your arms and fall back into a peaceful slumber. 

Perhaps you could find that slumber yourself, snuggled in the cold cotton sheets of your king sized bed—which was ironically missing its king of the court. 

If there was any chance that you could find rest, lucid dream the reality that you oh-so-wished you were currently living, you’d take that opportunity. After all, what is life without the one you love? What is life if not missed connections and broken signals? What is the point of trying so hard, only to be beat down after finally getting what you wanted?

Maybe you just weren’t meant for the type of mind-blowing love you saw in the movies or on television. The lifestyle of happiness just wasn’t in your book—the dream of dancing through a fairytale was a phony pretense, as you weren’t the princess in the story, but rather the abandoned love interest instead. 

Turning the next page wouldn’t be easy for you, it would take all the mental strength in your bones—but at the sight of the parting clouds and shining sun, you knew you’d be okay. The next chapter of your story would be a good one, you were going to make sure of it—with or without him.

dedicated to my silly little beautiful baka @gellysticks​. you’re such a silly goose you silly little goose you

aitarose do not copy, claim, or mimic my writing, works, themes, copy and paste my words, or headers and tags as your own. do not use my blog as a template for your own, or base your theme on mine.

[bitchapalooza]

More hetalia highschool AU, 🌟magic team🌟 edition :)

Under the cut bc it is long ❤️

Vladimir is that one kid obsessed with Twilight but only for the vampires; it was his first ever exposure to vampires thanks to his dad thinking Twilight was an appropriate book for a 11 year old. Team Edward going strong for five years, he'd proudly declare like it actually mattered. He tries his best to dress goth at school even though his uniform gets in the way. Fake ear piercings(his parents won't let him pierce them yet), over the top makeup, he's dyed the top half of his shoes black because his parents were concerned about his obsession with black and wouldn't buy him the black tennies he wanted— "mom look, these are marked down for back to school! Can I pleeeease get them???" "....may I know why the black ones specifically?" "They match the ever nothingness of my soul." "Yep! The white ones it is then!" "Mooooooooooom!"— Vladimir has been dubbed the cringy vampire kid of course.

Lukas is into pretty much anything concerning cryptids and magical creatures because they can't be proven to be fake or real, which intrigues him. He carries a book about mushrooms at all times and info dumps on pretty much anyone about identifying poisonous mushrooms and which mushrooms are safe to eat. His backpack is covered in buttons and pins to show off his interests. He keeps an amethyst in the front pocket of his backpack, reason unknown other than to just randomly pull it out and let Mikkel look at it. He's that kid that always wears his hoodie no matter the season, he never takes it off. Under his hoodie is always a crude worded t-shirt that the school would not approve of, much less his parents. He's relatively quiet and because he's quiet he's considered a weird kid.

Arthur can't decide if punk is his style or if goth is. Either way, his way of self expression at school in addition to the uniform is horrible. Checkered black/red shoes his grandma got him with his older brother's hand me down worn out greying socks—"can I PLEASE just have my own clothes???" "we have perfectly good clothes for you in the garage! I can fix them up to fit you better and everything!" "but I want cool NEW clothes!" "those are cool clothes and as far as the other kids know, they're also new. Now get your transformer backpack and get to the car. I put a new patch on it last night so that should hold it for the rest of the year."— Old Pierce the veil shirt, with holes chewed into the collar from his older brother Dillan, peeking out from under his white polo. A black and red choker to match his black and red slowly tearing apart too big flannel on top of a black pull over. A deep blue beanie, the hoodie of his pull over almost constantly on top when outside the school. He dyes a part of his hair a different color every month. He spikes his hair using too much gel and is convinced he looks good. He talks too much about bands and always gets Vlad and Lukas going on and on about fictional creatures he does not FULLY believe in himself. He does, however, believe in magic and loves Harry Potter, more specifically the Weaselys, to bits.

Natalya is a sophomore, a year behind the boys, and she just kinda pushed her way into the friend group until they eventually accepted her into it. They were the only three she knew who liked occult related topics. She's on the baseball team because she wanted an excuse to hit things with another thing and NOT get detention because of it. She wears the khaki uniform skirt and takes full advantage over being able to wear any kind of tights underneath; skull pattern, plain black, blood splatter pattern, fire pattern. Anything that makes her feel like a badass. She's always talking about antiques and forging weapons, more specifically knives. She has a whole collection of fidget toys but her favorite is this pea pod keychain her father gave her. She's always talking about how she'd like to be a medical examiner and to just prove that she's serious, she'll bring up a picture of a human model and point out the difference between a self inflicted fatal wound and a homicide. She puts up a charade of being able to see and talk to ghosts to freak out Alfred, her extended friend first met through Tolys.

They collectively believe they're cool and that other people know this. They're genuinely blind to the obvious snickers sent their way, being called losers and nerds. They're really knowm for like really pathetic things like; Natalya is Ivan's, tallest and most intimidating member of the wrestling team, weird younger sister by a year. Lukas is just the weird quiet kid that reads by the courtyard garden during lunch. Vladimir is not only the vampire goth kid but the kid who's parents believe the teachers are giving his son low grades on purpose and will yell at them for it. And Arthur is just. He's another Kirkland, immediately assumed to be a massive trouble maker because of his now graduated brother Alistair and one grade above him brother Dillan. Everyone loved his eldest brother Darick and sometimes compare him to Darick.

Compared to what others THINK they do, such as witch craft for some odd reason, the four of them do pretty typical teen activities. Like hang out at the mall. Do their honework together. Play video games and D&D when they have the chance. The boys do have sleepovers still as they have since meeting each other in middle school, Nat not really being a fan of sleeping where she doesn't live but comfortable enough to go to their houses and just chill for the day. They have become friends because of their related interests but thats not what they're ALL ABOUT.

Fun facts/stories about these losers I thought about while bored as fuck:

• Lukas, in his freshman year, went on a nature hike field trip with his lit class after reading Into The Wild. And he brought his mushroom book of course. They walked around, looking at the sights, talked about the book. Lukas just stops at one point, falling behind the class. He picks up a mushroom, goes to the teacher and is like "You see this? Its not poisonous." And straight up fucking eats it without warning. The teacher called an ambulance even though Lukas kept telling him he was fine and that that mushroom was 100% okay to eat raw, but for sure better off cooked. Lukas calmly shows the paramedics his book and they're like "yeah that actually was safe to eat, we don't need the book to confirm that, but um. Please don't ever pick something off the ground and eat it again. Just. Please don't do that, son." .....he did it again before leaving to go back to school but this time he didn't tell anyone.

• In elementary school, Natalya brought in a model of the human brain she asked her dad to borrow. He had to say yes because she was his only child genuinely interested, not bored of, his medical profession and he found it very cute and honoring. So she's at show and tell, its her turn right, and she silently goes up to the front of the class and pulls out the model brain. Teacher tries to step in because, hey, these are 6 year olds—AND WHY DOES THIS 6 YEAR OLD HAVE A PLASTIC BRAIN??? But Nat just shooshes her. In surprised shock, the teacher is just quiet as Nat begins to explain parts of the brain and their function— which was all wrong actually. She knew the words and everything but she didn't get the locations right. She sounded confident and smart and she was telling this to a bunch of 6 year olds so they believed her of course. End of the school day, her dad is having a hilarious conference with his youngest's teacher about the brain incident.

• Vladimir loves reading. He's loved it since he began to learn how, even if his dyslexia gives him grief along the way. So since he loves to read he'll always get excited and read ahead in class or in the public library reading club. One summer, the reading club was reading The Giver and it was getting really good. Vlad was loving the story, so much so that Vlad began to read ahead in his own time when he really wasn't supposed to be, the club was reading it together out loud and discussing it. Now he's read enough and worked hard enough to figure out how to help himself focus better and understand each word and sentence without having to reread it all multiple times over or get stuck. But sometimes the meaning and context to what he's reading doesn't ALWAYS process with the words as he's too focused on reading the words right and it passes right over his head. So Vlad is reading ahead and he's getting to the part where The Giver has given Jonas the memory of the sled again. And Vlad just sits there after reading that paragraph. He rereads it. And rereads it again. And then he leaves his book on his bed, goes to the the hall closet and takes out the ironing board. He grabs a plastic container to use as an ill attempt of a helmet and he just. Rockets down the staircase and hits the wall. He screams and cries and his parents rush in from the livingroom. When asked what happened he just says "I wanted to understand the sled scene better! Now I do and I feel really bad for Jonas!" He just couldn't quite grasp WHY the sled accident hurt, never had a broken bone nor sled afterall, and needed to find out. And that's how Vlad got his first broken arm at the age of 12.

• When Alfred and Matthew moved in with Arthur's family, Arthur didn't like it. He was a moody young teen but he was also just tired of the full house. His cousins were loud and nosey. He had to share a room with his four older brothers already and now with Matthew while Kathleen and Alfred got a room to themselves. Arthur thought this was so unfair. So his solution was to run away. He was 13, he needed a place to have some peace and quiet for once. So he texts Francis and Lukas, the only two of his friends living in his neighnorhood. Francis is not on board with helping him run away at first but then Lukas brings literally all his camping gear for Arthur's use and then Francis is on board because he had the feeling Arthur was going to get himself killed somehow. So as the elder one of the group he accompanied Arthur and Lukas out to the short stretch of woods behind the last street of their neighborhood, intending to go to the big clearing before hitting the roads leading to the airport and whatever else buildings. They're out there setting everything up together and they're done by like 4 pm. They sit down and talk, munch on oreos and other snacks Arthur deemed as essential survival foods. Then Francis looks at his cell and remarks "wow its already 6! Ah, Lukas, we should get home. Afterall, neither of us ran away so we still have supper to eat. Come on Lukas, let's go before our parents come looking for us." They exchange goodbyes, Francis trying his best to hide his cocky smirk. So Lukas and Francis start walking off, Arthur crawls into the tent and eats half a cookie before frowning and feeling too alone. He didn't expect to feel alone because all he wanted was to BE ALONE. Before he knows it, he's running out of the tent yelling after his friends to stop and wait up. "Oh whats wrong, Arthur? I thought you wanted to run away." "I— I forgot I hadn't fed my rabbit is all! I'll run away tomorrow! I'm not... Feeling lonely if.. If that's what you think...." Arthur did not run away the next day. Buuuuuut the three plus Vlad made a tree house together in the Kirkland backyard that they still use today!

[heniareth]

I was tagged by @scribbledquillz for this ao3/fanfic author meme. Thanks so much for tagging me! Now, there’s only one thing (I’ll explain as soon as I answer the first question). But first, tags. I’m gonna tag @yukichouji and @the-iron-lion because I know you write and post, but I also know you’re busy, so please, only do it if you want to and have time ^^ Apart from that, if anybody who sees this wants to give it a go, consider yourself tagged! I’d love to read your answers, so feel free to tag me back

How many works do you have on AO3?

So, here’s the thing: I’ve never posted anything I have written XD One day, I will, but until then, I’ll answer the questions I can answer to the best of my ability ^^ I’ll modify some questions and keep the original ones for anybody who wants to answer those.

What’s your total AO3 fanfic words count?

123.211 words total (not counting one absolutely massive collaborative fanfic that I’m not gonna count rn)

More under the cut!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Funny thing: thanks to this question I’ve rediscovered like ten folders with the beginnings of different fanfics I’d not opened in years. Thank you, @scribbledquillz for making me find my old writings! My main work rn is a Dragon Age Origins retelling (featuring Astala Tabris of course, though I have decided that the other origins--Surana, Amell, Brosca, Mahariel, the whole gang--also survive because yes.) I also have two separate unfinished pieces on Caduceus and Caleb of the Mighty Nein (Critical Role) respectively. Equally unfinished are one fanfic with Loki and his Jotunn heritage, and another about the extermination of mutants in the X-Men universe prior to X-Men: Days of Future Past. Both projects were ambitious, but exist mainly as ideas now. The longest (and oldest) fanfic I’ve ever written is a collaborative super self-indulgent self-insert fix-it fic for The Hobbit. I am quite proud of my younger self for pulling through with this one and sticking to it over such a long time. It is, sadly, also unfinished.

Do you Would you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I would definitely respond to comments. It’s polite. I’d also want to mirror back the joy a comment has inspired in me.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

The X-Men fanfic ends with the events of X-Men: Days of Future Past, which (spoiler?) means all the characters were going to die. But it’s okay because the movie fixes that ^^ But generally speaking, I’m not big on angsty endings. Angst is fine anywhere else.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think it has to be either the The Hobbit fanfic or the Dragon Age Origins retelling. Characters I strongly identify with tend to get the happiest endings. Oh do I ever wonder why that is so

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I’ve never written a crossover, but I’ve read some really cool ones. There was one featuring the Mighty Nein in the Undeadwood setting (both by Critical Role) that I wished had gone on longer bc it was so cool.

Have you ever recieved hate on a fic?

One of the good things about not posting anything: you don’t subject it to judgement ;D

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have... never finished writing a smutty scene.

One day. One day. Zevran might be the push I need, who knows

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Another one of the good things about not posting anything.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I started translating several of them myself! :D

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh yes! It’s an amazing experience. The creativity is squared. It is important though that all collaborators are on the same page about where the story goes, how the characters will be portrayed, etc. Especially if you give somebody your own OC or self-insert to write about.

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

There are a few that have a special place in my heart. Shadogast comes to mind, or Percy/Vex (from Critical Role). I love the Zevwarden ship because it’s a story about allowing feelings and romance and being stronger because of them (at least in my mind). I’m scared of what Fenris/Hawke might do to me when I get around to play DA2 XD

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Definitely the The Hobbit fanfic. It is a glorious mess, and from time to time I go through the documents again... but it’s just a really big project and my collaborators are busy

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! Banter! I love it. I absolutely adore it. I make it way too long but it’s so much fun. I’m very much character driven I think, which is also why fanfic is so appealing to me. Actions speak louder than words, but characters shout through a megaphone. I also like pairing dialogue with very day-to-day, down-to-earth actions (like folding laundry). I feel like it allows me to convey so much more about the caracters than only through the words they say and the dialogue tags of “he said, she whispered”. Another thing I consider myself strong at is worldbuilding and generally keeping the practical things in mind. If it’s autumn, it’s probably gonna rain, the ground will be wet, they’ll sleep poorly and that’ll be reflected in heightened tempers and therefore more drama in the next scene. The fact that in canon a town has a harbor will have impacted this character who was born there. I like the details and puzzling the pieces together to make a world really come to life XD And, last, I have also recently learned that I write best non-chronologically, and to just write it all out and edit later. It does wonders to advance a project

What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I hardly write any at first. I normally see scenes very clearly in my head, but I... don’t communicate it XD I’m so character-driven that I kinda forget about the rest. I also tend to get too bogged down by the mundane? The fact that I like to play around with details of the worldbuilding and have it all make sense means I’ll write that scene where they break up camp even though it... doesn’t really add anything to the story apart from the fact that it happens and they indeed do break up camp. Things that I should tell, I show. It reflects in my wordcount.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! I find it really interesting. I might even listen to the spoken dialogue via Google trnaslate XD The only reason it might bother me is that there’s just no elegant way to integrate the translation into the text on AO3. In a normal book, I’d go for a footnote, but in AO3 and with my chapter length, I won’t make anybody scroll down, read the translation, and scroll up again.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My first ever fanfic before I knew what fanfic was were things I wrote age 11 with a friend about the cowboy stories this German late 19th century writer Karl May wrote. We were obsessed with those novels

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I gotta say the Hobbit fanfic. It was melodramatic, it was self-indulgent, it had everything. I remember staying up with my friends way into the wee hours of the morning discussing how we’d save Thorin and his nephews from certain death and why Kili was so obsessed with Tauriel after talking to her once XD

And here we go! Thank you so much again for tagging me, this was a lot of fun (and it makes me want to post something. Maybe the Dragon Age Origins retelling will make the cut? I do hope I finish it in the next months)