#which is helpful to know but it does mean all the time i've spent scrolling past images of actual worms and shit was wasted unnecessarily

[hierarchyproblem]

From a conversation with @fakerosebride a few weeks ago: a sneak preview of the upcoming MtG Universes Beyond tie in with Worm.

[bones4thecats]

Their S/O Assists Them With Their Hair

Characters: Cater Diamond, Leona Kingscholar, Jamil Viper, and Idia Shroud Inspired By: The multiple cards A/N: I have been laying this off to the side for such a long time so I decided to finally write this. Also, I've been having a hard time with the border around the images, so I changed it. Anyways, have fun reading this!! ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Nothing. Just pure fluff ⚠️

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╚═════ Cater Diamond ══════════════════════════╝

💎 Cater doesn't change his hair up very often, only making it different when he has special events such as performances for the music club

💎 One day, you received a text from Cater asking if you were going to their next concert the following week, in which you just smiled and replied with a happy yes

💎 You knew from Cater's many messages and calls from his club meetings that they were getting more and more excited and anxious for the day that it came and they would set up and play to their heart's content

💎 Over the passing week, everyone could see how happy the group was, and you had a front seat to it. Since Cater would send you photo and video after one and another of them having fun getting ready

💎 Then came the day

💎 Cater was beyond stressed out, scrolling through his feed to find the perfect hairstyle that he could use for that night, to which you sighed and laid back on his bed as he stressed

"Cater, Honey, are you sure you know what you don't want any help?"

"Yep! Just give me a minute. I'm sure I can find the perfect hairdo!"

💎 The sound of his shoes hitting the floor in a circular motion was giving you a headache, so after about four more minutes, you slapped your hands on the nearby table and told him to sit down

💎 Cater was shocked when you took his phone from his grip and secured it into your pants pocket before grabbing his shoulders and forcing him back on his butt

"Thankfully, Vil taught me enough during the time I spent helping with the VDC. Now, just sit down and relax, I'm sure I can figure something out quick."

💎 As you walked around the bathroom and grabbed multiple brushes and clips to hold his hair as your designed it, Cater watched memorized, you really were beautiful when helping others, weren't you?

💎 It took a mere ten extra minutes for you to decide and fix up his hair, making it into a shaggy-crop style. You smiled and kissed his forehead as he stood up and adjusted a couple light-up weave-like pieces and allowed rose his phone, which you gave back halfway through styling, and took a selfie of you and him

"Hashtag: 'Cay-Cay's S/O' , 'Cay-Cay Getting Ready' , and 'NRC Music Club BTS'. "

"Good luck, Cater."

"Thank you so much, Love Bug."

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Leona Kingscholar ════════════════════════╝

🦁 He, unlike other beastman, doesn't enjoy having his hair touched. He does it a certain way and doesn't want it to be messed with like how his brother would do

🦁 This means that every time you would ask to style his hair, he would just open one eye, say no, and then lay down on you. Claiming you as his makeshift pillow for one of his many daytime naps

🦁 To actually get him to agree, you'd most likely have to either wait until a couple months into dating or marriage, and we all wanna know what his hair feels like, don't we?

🦁 Now, when you finally got to touch his hair, Leona had come back to his room drained from the long day. He had gone to all of his classes and then Magift practice. All without a single nap throughout the day

🦁 The guy had practically barreled onto the sheets of his bed after throwing his bag of dirty clothes on the ground. He groaned as you chuckled, opening your arms for him to lay down there

🦁 Thankfully, Leona had taken a shower already and was perfectly clean. Not a single drop of sweat on his body. Meaning he could be curled up on you without you trying to pull/push him to take a shower to get clean

"Leona?" You asked, your head moving from the book Leona gave you a couple weeks ago. He merely growled lowly before looking up and into your eyes and asking what you wanted.

"I was just wondering... if I could- y'know. Touch your hair? You don't have to let me, I understand if you wouldn't want me too!"

🦁 Leona smirked and reached up to take his hair out of the ponytail he lodged it into after showering earlier. His long brown locks dropping down, a slight amount of water there, he obviously was to tired to spend a ton of time drying it

"Have at it."

🦁 Smiling gently as you laid the book down, you began to move his hair around gently, using your fingers like a make-shift brush (did anyone else's mom/dad/guardian do that when they were young?) to get the small knocks out

🦁 After doing that, you began to rub his scalp, allowing him to relax and let out a very low purr, though it sounded more like a satisfied hum to you, and kissed your exposed thigh. He was thankful you were wearing shorts. (Though how could you NOT? It was like over 70 degrees in that dorm!)

"Do you feel better, Leo?" You asked, only to be met with the soft snores of your boyfriend.

🦁 His larger form was hugging you tightly as you chuckled and embraced him back, nudging a blanket on top of your both. He was a lot more than a mere second-born prince to you, he was your one and only prince, from now till the day you die

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Jamil Viper ════════════════════════════╝

🐍 Jamil takes pride in his hair. It has always been one of the only things that he had full control over. Throughout his life he never got full control of anything, except for things like his hair (I know this is wordy, but you get the point)

🐍 Anyways. When you had asked him to do his hair, he was getting ready to cook for the remaining Scarabia members for the spring break. Some students volunteered to stay while others left, he and Kalim volunteered to stay, along with you

🐍 You noticed that he was having a hard time keeping it out of his face, so you excused yourself from the third year and walked into the kitchen

🐍 Jamil was getting more and more frustrated, he was so close to taking the scissors and snipping his ponytail off if it won't stop getting in his way. Thankfully, the sound of your chuckles made him look up and nervously look away, embarrassment was obvious in his expression

🐍 You smiled at him and told him to sit down as he began to put some ingredients away. You had been helping Jamil cook long enough to know that the food needed to simmer for a while, just long enough for you to help him out

"Jamil, would you like your hair completely out of your face? And not done by having it shaved... or cut by kitchen utensils?"

"...yeah."

🐍 Handing him your phone as your began to take his hair out of his ponytail, you told him to just hang out and let you do what you knew best: hair styling

🐍 As you meticulously placed his hair behind his head, Jamil felt relaxed, even more relaxed then ever before. You treated his hair with the amount of care that he did. It was admirable just how much you paid attention to his reactions as you worked

🐍 After maybe a couple minutes, you had patted his hair down and gave him a cheerful done before telling him to turn the camera on and put it in selfie-mode

🐍 He did as he said and was shocked. You did beyond amazing! His hair was completely out of his face, and he didn't look half bad. He had to admit, he needed to put his hair up like that more often when he worked

🐍 Jamil stood up and hugged you, his arms giving you a snug squeeze as you chuckled and kissed his jawline. He smiled and kissed your forehead before thanking you and handing you your phone back. Right before you left though, your boyfriend called your name and asked

"Would you like to help me cook?"

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Idia Shroud ════════════════════════════╝

🎮 This guy. Ho this guy

🎮 When you guys first began dating, he was very off-handed. He was not, and still really isn't a big fan of physical touch. He just doesn't like it that much

🎮 That doesn't mean he hates it, he just prefers to simply spend time together and give you things. He sucks with his words (he overthinks like me), he has a hard time with acts of service (he doesn't go out often, so he can't do much outside of his dorm), and he has a massive issue when touched. He just freezes and stutters a lot more than before

🎮 Idia does like it when you're physically affectionate sometimes. Like when you would lean your head on his shoulder whenever he gets frustrated with a level in a game he has been working on for days to calm him down. He likes that kind of stuff

🎮 So, whenever you would ask to mess with his hair, it goes from a beautiful blue to a campfire-like orange and red, the tips being flushed with pink like his face as he stuttered and mumbled

🎮 After the first couple times, you decided to lay loose and allow him to come to you whenever he wanted you to mess with his hair. It was his choice and his consent and comfort was just as important as your own

🎮 It only took maybe a couple weeks for him to begin wondering why you weren't asking to mess with his fiery locks. But, in true Idia Shroud fashion, the male strayed away from questioning you until the thought was all he could wonder about

"Hey... Y/N?"

"Yeah, Idia?"

"D-do you think, you could maybe... y'know... mess with my hair a bit?"

"What? Please repeat louder, honey."

"Damn it... could you mess with my hair please?"

🎮 You smiled and laid your phone on Idia's desk before he moved away from his gaming chair and sat down in front of you on the bed, continuing to play his game and groan about how the 'noobs were releasing more time camping and not acting as aggro against the boss like he was'

🎮 It was funny how much gamer lingo Idia used when he was outside of class-related situations. But it was quite funny when he then began to speak of how 'op the boss was and how the rest of the players needed to get off their buts and act like true FPSs and help him defeat the bullet sponge of a boss'

(Yes I looked up gamer terms, I am dumb T^T)

🎮 You just chuckled as his face went from petrified as he ran from danger to reload his weaponry to coming up with the most determined expression you had ever seen on him. Playing these games really made him feel better than he was outside speaking to others

🎮 It lasted maybe a couple hours before Idia finally noticed you weren't playing with his long hair anymore. So, he looked up and saw you laying down asleep on his bed, one of his larger hoodies was around your top and he couldn't help but smile gently as you snoozed

🎮 He decided that he was going to lay down on the bed to, not to sleep, but to get a more comfortable angle to play in. So, he stood up and got on the bed, pulling the sheets down and over your arms and his legs before looking back at his phone, noticing it was in camera mode. He must've hit the button at the bottom as he secured his spot

🎮 Idia gasped quietly as he saw how you did his hair. It was like a mixture of multiple braids with a single thicker braid behind. The housewarden couldn't help but smile and laugh like the little dork he was

🎮 After the little giggly fit, Idia looked at you and shut off his phone before laying down next to you, holding your arm as you shuffled onto your back. He smiled and closed his eyes. If you did something so nice to him, he could at least get maybe a couple hours of sleep for you

(I have so much Idia brainrot right now it's insane)

[lucy90712]

Not enough- Jude Bellingham

Dating a footballer is fun until he becomes incredibly successful and all of a sudden there are rumours left and right of him dating someone that isn't you. That's what my life is like Jude and I got together 3 years ago now when we were 17 and have been together since but we never made our relationship public because until the summer we were still long distance and didn't want the extra pressure. Having our relationship private has been so nice as it has meant when we do see each other we get to just enjoy being together but it also means we have to deal with rumours of who Jude might be dating. Those rumours never really got to me while Jude was at dortmund but since he's moved to Madrid things have just got so much more intense it seems that every few weeks there is a million new articles and tweets. 

Having to read all of this and seeing how pretty all the girls has really started to get to me. All the girls Jude is rumoured to be with are either models or just incredibly pretty which makes me feel awful about myself. All these girls have made a name for themselves in some way yet here I am with my job in a cafe while I try and find a job in the area that I studied. Jude likes to tell me that he doesn't care what I do for a living or how much I make but I can't help but feel guilty when I can't contribute much to the house or get him expensive things like he does for me. I'm also definitely no model I'm definitely not as pretty or as skinny as a model which I used to be ok with but now I don't feel so confident in myself. The other wags are also so pretty I definitely don't fit in with them either which makes me feel even worse about myself. 

Jude doesn't seem to have any clue that this is all going on he wakes up goes to training then hangs out with the boys leaving me until late at night so he doesn't see all the rumours or how they affect me. He's not here for the time I spend scrolling through social media or looking in the mirror judging everything about myself. Even when Jude is home he always seems to have something else on his mind so he never really gives me compliments anymore. I'd like to think that he still loves me but at this point I'm really not sure I mean he's young and he's attractive why would he want to be tied down with someone like me he can do so much better. I simply don't think I'm enough for him. 

A few days ago Jude went out to celebrate a big win for the team while I stayed at home but the next morning all I could see was rumours that Jude was flirting with multiple girls all night letting them dance with him and since I haven't really spoken to him. I spent all of last night laying awake thinking about everything and I decided that I just think I need to break up with Jude so then he's free to do all the things everyone thinks he's doing anyway. It's hard to decide to end a relationship especially one that has been going on for so long and one you are so fond of but I don't see any other way forward. This is why I've been so distant with Jude because in my head if I didn't talk to him that would make all of this easier. 

As always Jude left for training just as I got up for work but by the time I got back he was home which only happened the first few weeks I arrived so it was strange to see him here. Like always I headed upstairs to shower and change and when I came back out the bathroom Jude was sat on the bed waiting for me. I still didn't say anything to him because I'm trying to stay strong until I find the right time to tell Jude how I feel. 

"Babe are you ok you've barely spoken to me the last few days" he said 

"Yeah I'm fine just been busy had a lot on my mind that's all" I replied 

"Please don't lie to me I know there's something more going on I see the way you look all the time I just couldn't figure out what was wrong and now I give up so please tell me what's going on" he begged 

"I didn't want to say this yet because I'm still figuring things out but I think we should break up I just can't do this anymore" I said 

"Please no baby no I can't live without you whatever I've done I can fix it and I'm sorry just please don't break up with me" he said 

"It's nothing you've done it's just me" I said 

"Then what is it please tell me if you really want to do this at least tell me why" he said 

"I'm just not good enough for you every day there is new rumours of you being with someone else and all of them are prettier and have more going for them than I do and you deserve to be with one of them or to just be free to do what you want" I explained 

"But I want you that's what I want I don't want any of these girls nor is there anything going on with any other girl incase that's what you're thinking I like that you live a more normal life you keep me grounded and I think you are the prettiest girl in the world" Jude replied 

"Then why are you never home and why do you never compliment me anymore?" I asked 

"I-I'm sorry babe you're right I haven't been home much but I will change that I will come home after training and I will invite you to more things and believe me I could sit here for hours and compliment you and I'll do that if I need to" he said 

Jude did exactly what he said he started listing all the things he loves about me while giving me kisses. It felt so good to have his attention again it felt like we were back to how we were before I came to Madrid. After he complimented every single part of me he asked if I'd like to go out on a date like a proper date outside where people could see us and I didn't hesitate to say yes. Even if people see us who cares it's about time that we went public with our relationship then the rumours can be true for once. We have talked about going public a few times but now feels like the right time just so we can stop the media getting too far out of control 

I got all dressed up in a pretty dress and my makeup and hair all done for once I actually felt really pretty. When Jude walked in he had a white shirt and some black trousers on which he looked so good in. He stopped as soon as he saw me and I think his jaw actually hit the floor which made me blush and that was before he started complimenting me. The entire drive Jude didn't stop telling me how beautiful I looked which honestly made me feel so good about myself. 

At the restaurant there was people taking pictures of us walking in which Jude tried to protect me from a bit but we wanted to be seen together. It was weird being in front of so many cameras as I've spent years trying to avoid all of this but now I'm happily letting them all take pictures and stare at me trying to work out who I am so they can get their exclusive headline. The people in the restaurant were lovely though they showed us to our table then left us alone as much as possible which was nice as we were able to have a proper date night together. As we finished dessert Jude showed me all the pictures all over Instagram and Twitter then he showed me a post he had drafted to tell everyone about our relationship and put an end to everything. He had a beautiful caption written which nearly made me cry and all the pictures he had I hadn't seen before as they were ones he took secretly but they were all so cute. He let me click post so that it was my decision to go public then he took my phone and turned it off so we could enjoy the rest of our evening together without having to see what everyone has to say.

[glisten-inthedark]

This is a Rant, continue at your own risk

Look, I'm not even going to lie I've read a bunch of things from a Mil*even blog that has both like seriously peeved, so if you don't want to be hit with a bunch of thoughts just scroll by and be on your marry way because now I'm going to speak my mind. Excuse moi.

Will Byers is one of the most annoying, unimportant characters of the show.

Ok, ok. Cool, cool, cool. I'm guessing I watched another first episode then. I guess the pilot of the show was actually called "The Boy on The Woods" or "The Vanishing" or whatever other thing that wasn't actually "The Vanishing of Will Byers". Ok, my bad. Mistakes can happen.

But if that's the case then I'm pretty sure I watched the whole wrong season, the one in which, you know, they spent 8 episodes aka one week focusing on trying to find this very unimportant child. And I'm guessing it was the magical wind that opened the shed door too, got it.

And if asked, I also want to state for the record that you know, Harry Potter is also unimportant and not the boy who lived, and that Luke Skywalker is equally unimportant and not the one that the prophecy spoke off.

The whole story starts with the disappearance of Will Byers, and it progresses as he is possessed by the Mind Flayer and then starts to feel it and Vecna by the end of season 4.

And him being able to feel the Mind Flayer and Vecna. Does that sound oddly familiar? Yeah, if you're thinking Harry + Voldemort I'm sure you can see where I'm going with it. But in this case, Vecna, unlike Voldemort, (and oh, both lack noses and have names that start with V's) doesn't appear to want to kill Will (that we know for now) so maybe there's a fucking reason?

Now that we got the first part covered, let's talk about how he's supposedly annoying.

Will Byers is the most caring, selfless character of the show. He had his hopes, his dreams, torn apart when he got taken.

When he came back, all he wanted was to believe that he could have a part of his childhood back. That's it.

All Will has ever wanted was for Mike to be in his life.

All he ever wanted was to be Mike's best friend. Will doesn't expect Mike to love him back, he stopped believing that would happen long time ago.

To say he is annoying when he has constantly forgiven Mike over and over again is just petty.

Vecna is more afraid of Eleven

Well, obviously. But that's because I don't think the purpose Will serves is to stop Vecna, when he was talking about the Mind Flayer he explicity states that it wants to kill everyone else. (The except him is very much implied, though). So why is that?

Mike and El's relationship doesn't have issues

You know what I find it interesting? Is that this is so clearly not true that I can't understand what they mean.

Ok, let's forget about the whole "not spend time with his friends" bit. We know how relationships can be, especially when they're young, so ok I can understand that.

What I can't understand is how they can think it's normal for Mike and El to continuously lie to each other. And the lies aren't small, they are big lies.

El lies about every single aspect of her life in Lenora, she goes as far as to beg for her bully to help her because she doesn't want to break the facade.

Mike makes El feel like she's a monster. Like he's scared of her. She tells him how he says doesn't say he loves her and his first response isn't to say: What you're talking about?

Its to say: I say it and we are provided with the information that he can't even write it. Almost like what he says doesn't align with we know to be fact. He then goes on to say that she's being ridiculous, and that she knows what he thinks (notice the lack of the world feels) about her. Mike, she isn't questioning the idea you have of her, she's questioning your love for her when she shouldn't have.

If she doesn't feel secure enough in that love, there might be a reason right? But what do I know?

Will needs to learn to accept himself and needs to understand Mike loves Eleven and that's his arc.

Ok, let's say this is true.

Let's claim, for the sake of argument, that this is the point and recap from there.

Mike and Eleven didn't actually have a conversation by the end of the season, their main issue, which even is how Mike feels or doesn't feel but that they don't understand each other, has yet to be resolved.

Saying I love you didn't help El win, and there are lies in what he says to her as well. He claims that he knew from the moment he met her that he loved her, but if that's the case then his actions directly contradict the claim.

If he knew he loved her then, why would he try to send her away to a mental institution? Why would he be so rude towards her?

I could write this off as him not knowing he loved her, but he says that knew that he did so I'm guessing I'm slightly confused? Which one is it?

If he told Eleven that he feel in love with ler little by little, that he's learned all the things there is to love about her I could buy it, but with the way it was worded it doesn't seem to be the case.

It appears to me that people are under the impression that Will believes that one day Mike could love him back. He may have believed that during season 2, but by the time season 3 and 4 came, this stopped being the case.

Will was ready to sacrifice everything, even his art, for Mike. He's not living under the illusion he'd ever have a happy ending, he doesn't seem to think he'll ever find love, not like what he has with Mike.

So, what is the song and dance all about? If this is the case already, we are already at this point, all they needed to do was get Mike to tell Will.

"Look, El doesn't know shit about DnD so I know you weren't talking about her. Were those words yours? Yeah. Ok, Will... You're very important to me, but I love El. I accept you, and you'll always be my friend, but I can't love you like that". That's it. Would it hurt? Yes. But again, Will already thinks this is what he's going to hear anyway.

Byler bating vs Queerbating

I made this joke before but at this point I don't even think it's a joke, more of an statement.

I'd call queerbaiting if they hadn't established Will as queer, but the fact that they did is what gives me pause. Look children, I've been down this road before ok. Been there, done that.

They have established Will as queer and at no point did it feel like they were making him the punchline of a cruel joke.

Say that Mike doesn't feel the same and Will needs to let him go. Again. WE ALREADY THINK THIS IS THE CASE. Most of Bylers believed that to be fact in 2022. People were angry, upset and all that jazz.

Sure, Will learning self acceptance is important, but clinging onto that and forgetting his romantic arc would be nothing short of cruel. Will doesn't want some random guy. He said it so himself. Mike is the only person that has ever made him feel good about himself, Mike is the only person he'll always need. This isn't some passing crush.

Its the choice of making Will so in love with Mike that legit has me questioning these writers if the whole point was to get El and Mike back together.

I just have more to say but I need sleep. I might come back to this tomorrow. You are all welcomed to share your thoughts on my points and disagree if that's the case.

I love hearing other people's opinions on things

[zuzsenpai]

mental health update

I've been having a pretty shit year as far as mental health goes. I mean, I had an actual mental health crisis in February that was one of the scariest times in my life. It was all because I was trying to taper off a psych med and apparently that was a BAD idea.

In the months that followed, I was able to avoid a bad depression spiral thanks to getting back on that particular med. But I've been getting more and more exhausted, and when I have anxiety, I have it REAL bad. Like shaking and chest pain bad. Thought I had covid and nearly passed out waiting the 15 minutes for the test results. Zuko was sick and had surgery and I was in a constant state of misery and shaking and dizziness. I know I should probably get like... Xanax or something for this. Maybe I will in the future.

Anyway, my focus is almost non-existent these days. During and after Zuko's health crisis last month, I have been at a point where my brain just can't move. I think I've spent the last 30 days scrolling tumblr because that and projects at work (the ones with deadlines) are the only things I can actually get my brain to do.

I want to work on fanfic. So I open a project, but then am immediately like "no I can't get myself to mentally be on the same page as this project". I think about a different project and my chest feels tight because I both want to do it and don't want to do it. It's painful. I accomplish nothing. I want to play a game or watch a show but the thought of putting effort into those things destroys my ability to do them. I just sit and continue scrolling tumblr. I long for conversation but when I'm actually conversing with someone, I can only manage a few words and I hate myself for it. I long for validation or praise on past projects to help motivate me into writing fanfic again, but I know that's selfish and I know it doesn't motivate shit.

This is where I am right now. I don't know how to have fun or relax. I don't know how to focus on anything. I don't know how to want to focus on anything. I waste entire days fretting about doing nothing.

I've also never been more exhausted in my life. I got bloodwork done on vitamin D, B12, iron, and thyroid. All are within normal range. So I'm getting a consultation with a sleep doctor (I get about 5% deep sleep per night, which is NOT good). We'll see how that goes.

I'm starting an exercise routine soon. I'm hoping that does something helpful. But I keep pushing the date back in my mind like "let's start exercising next week"... so you can imagine how that's going.

[iraprince]

do you have any advice on how to take a day off and do things that are satisfying and enjoyable and will recharge you, while not putting excessive pressure on yourself or (on the other extreme) doing nothing but scrolling/lying around with executive dysfunction and not actually enjoying what you're doing? thank you 💙

i feel like i say this all the time but: slightly tough one for me to answer, bc i struggle w this myself all the time and i think i'm still at a point where i fail more often than i succeed :') let's try, tho!

so, similar to scrolling, my main unsatisfying timesink is dumb mobile games. like merge dragons and shit. the endless easily fulfillable to-do lists that set off glittery casino-noise dopamine bursts are catnip to me, but like scrolling, i can do it for hours of my free time and then suddenly emerge at the other end and realize i haven't actually ENJOYED any of it, and that i wish i had spent the afternoon doing something else.

on the other hand, tho, the solution is not to say "well, that's stupid!" and confiscate all dumb unfulfilling phone games from myself forever — i like having them! sometimes i DO enjoy them for real, and it's nice to have something to turn my brain off at the end of a long day. similarly i think attempting to totally ban mindless social media scrolling is like, a reasonable thought, but not actually pragmatic most of the time.

i just don't find a lot of success with trying to ban/confiscate anything, or forcing myself to do anything in general. what i HAVE had a little success with, when i remember to do it early on, is reminding myself that i would rather do other stuff instead. "ugh i've been playing fucking merge dragons for an hour, i need to stop and go do the other stuff i had planned today" does not work; i end up internally going "yeah, yeah, i will. right after this." and then next thing i know it's 10pm or whatever. what's MORE likely to work is reminding myself "okay, hey, this is easy and i'm comfortable — but at the end of the day, am i going to be, like, STOKED that i spent all day playing merge dragons? is future ira going to be satisfied + happy that that's how the day went?"

the answer is almost never "yeah!", so sometimes that gives me the motivation i need to get off the couch; but also, sometimes i think about it and actually i don't mind the idea of spending my day of decompressing with games on the couch, which then means i can continue but without feeling naggingly guilty about it at the back of my mind; it can become a choice that i know i actually thought about instead of just something that Happened to my day.

so, summary: ordering myself around is not compelling and also just literally doesn't work; reminding myself that my time is limited and i'm going to have feelings and opinions about how i spent it is a lot more compelling, at least to me. there's a reason you want to do specific things on your day off, and reminding yourself of that desire and those motivations is imo always gonna be better than just flattening them into Things You Have To Do, And Can Therefore Fail At Doing (which is where excessive pressure on yourself will come from)

hope this helps a little!!!! and enjoy ur next day off!!!

[idkjustletmescroll]

Some incoherent ranting/rambling i guess

I really don't understand some people's obsession with fictional characters doing shitty things just conveniently...NOT KNOWING that they're bad?? Idk if that makes ANY sense at all it's 3 in the goddamn morning but let me explain--

I was doom scrolling, as one does, when I came across a tiktok of a marvel fan explaining why actually wanda maximoff had no idea what she was doing with the hex, which, sure, holds true for the BEGINNING of wandavision. But we're shown pretty clearly during the rest of the show that she knows what she's done, how it's affecting the townspeople, and that it's not real...she just needs it to be real. She can't cope with her ACTUAL reality. Her family is gone, and the ones that remain are busy dealing with their own traumas and families (i.e. clint, who I still argue WOULD have tried to find her and help her post-endgame, even if he desperately needed some downtime with his family--but moving on). I'm a wanda maximoff stan, she's my girl, my favourite, my one and only, but she's not a complete idiot. She knew what she was doing. I don't care that she did an objectively bad thing, I care about why she did it and kept on doing it--which is so much more interesting to me, anyways.

Alicent Hightower in HOTD? According to the writers, had no clue that, actually, years of talking about how aegon should be the heir to the throne would result in people ACTUALLY SCHEMING to get him on the throne, even though she seems to be heading the effort the entire time? Listen, the HOTD fandom is something else, and the way they talk about alicent genuinely scares me, but alicent being worried for her kids' safety, reluctantly cutting off all affection for Rhaenyra because she's genuinely terrified for her kids' lives, even just the spite of wanting her years of suffering and humiliation to mean something; alicent being both a ringleader and a pawn in a man's game, because ultimately she's resigned to the fact that the closest she can get to winning in this system (under this wheel, if you will), is finding the best man to propel to victory/be a pawn for because she as a woman will ultimately never be the victor herself--is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING than "okay, yeah, she spent years declaring how unfit her ex-bff/stepdaughter is to rule, but she didn't know people would actually take that seriously...she just wants rhaenyra to be OKAY, yall..." (I have a lot of feelings about how the show wrote alicent, okay?)

And arcane is one of my favourite shows of all time, and I've been lucky enough to MOSTLY stay on the good side of the fandom, which, from my end, is usually pretty amazing with an appreciation for nuanced media. But it genuinely makes my blood boil when I see people claim that Vi "could have gone back for jinx on the bridge" (ep. 7), when the moment they're referencing is vi supporting an injured Caitlyn, who almost died by jinx's bombs, RIGHT AFTER JINX SHOT AT THEM BOTH, AND RIGHT AFTER EKKO TOLD VI TO GO. "She left her sister to get beat up--" everything in vi's face in that scene speaks to her reluctance. She's holding up a girl she's growing closer to, who could actually be grievously injured, and she knows, at this point, that jinx is irrational--jinx just shot at her. Like...we knew that vi wasn't going to die, but she could've really easily. Ekko says he'll handle it. There's another bomb. Vi goes back to look for jinx AS SOON as Caitlyn's sitting down somewhere relatively safe (at which point, you know, she sees jinx being picked up by silco and his sidekicks). The point is, people act, with scenes like this one, like jinx was chucking paint bombs, not shooting fucking bullets en masse. I love all the arcane characters; jinx is such an interesting one, and her hallucinations and delusions do tend to make us wonder how much responsibility we can rightfully place on her shoulders. But people are really out here acting like she didn't...almost kill vi and cait there? We, from jinx's perspective, know that she saw Caitlyn as the literal devil; from vi and cait's povs, she just kind of walked up and tried to kill them. Am I making my point yet?

Speaking of arcane, i hope in season 2 we get scenes of characters from piltover who are really rooting for the oppression of the undercity. Not because of what jinx did, not because of the war, not because they "just don't know" how bad it is...because they make a profit off of it, and for that they are perfectly content letting people become dependent on drugs and make their livings from dangerous work in factories and mines. The whole point of "the city of progress" is that it became what it was off the backs of the undercity. We get a lot of characters in season 1 REALIZING the conditions down there, but I want them realizing in season 2 that not everybody was sheltered, they were just making a profit. (I kind of want to see Heimerdinger called out, too. Like, yeah, he's fluffy and cute and stuff, but if he's the founder of piltover, he's also been there since the beginning of the undercity, and didn't care because immortality yada yada. Have I envisioned scenes of ekko calling vi a sellout and she's just like "bitch and who the fuck are you working with?" and everybody's miserable? Yes. Yes I have. And don't come for me, ekko is the mvp of this show. Let a girl dream).

Even people like Tony Stark...people be acting like he's not actually an asshole a lot of the time. Or that he didn't know what weapons did before he stopped distributing them. I like tony, he's entertaining. But I'm not going to act like I need him to be a saint who didn't know shit about the world or basic courtesies to like him.

Idk if fandoms are just weird like that, but you can like your fave even if they do shitty things. They don't always have to be helpless, or just too stupid to realize what's going on. I don't understand why so many people are opposed to being entertained by people who do shitty things. Where's the appreciation for the drama? The messiness? The chaos?

[letstalkwhump]

Let's Talk Whump No.5

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! ! I’m Malice and I’ll be your host. 

Today I’m talking whump with the wonderful @painsandconfusion! 

So good to have you here today, @painsandconfusion! Tell us a fun fact about yourself!

I'm a lawyer but don't seem like a lawyer at all - everyon'es always confused when I say so. I'm a fan of jumping between fluffy pink dresses, standard hipster vibes, emo styles, and who knows what else. It's different every day. I just like variety!

What does whump mean to you?

Oh dear, tricky to answer...

Whump is when a character is at their highest stress point (or...at least higher than average). I suffer from severe and vivid nightmares, but I found out that when I write whump, I can process my fears and anxieties through those characters and their experiences. I can only go about two weeks without writing before the nightmares start again. It's kinda amazing to see just how effective and healthy it is for me. I live vicariously through my whumpees for a moment, and they help my brain keep its shit together. Then I get to meet all these lovely people online and it just makes my heart so happy!

Wow, that’s really great to hear! Whump can be really cathartic at times. How did you find the whump community? What made you want to join? 

I think this is a standard story, but I discovered the hero x villain community first, and it wasn't /quite/ my cup of tea, but it was close. After I saw a few people reblogging things with #whump, I checked it out. 

I have a vivid memory of skipping class for the first time in my life, just sitting in my apartment, all but crying as I scrolled through everything. I was so relieved to find that I wasn't alone. I spent so much of my life hating myself and hating whumperflies and hating that I was drawn to violence and not understanding why. After I found this community I felt so much more at home. 

I made a blog and started reblogging.

Then of course, I relapsed into hating myself and deleted it.

Then I made another. Started posting gifs I made from my favorite whumpy movies.

The kink community kinda took it over - which is fine and lovely and I'm happy to share content, but....they were the only ones who saw my blog. So everything I made was taken in a way I didn't mean and I felt very isolated and unheard.

So I deleted it again.

A couple years ago, I tried again. I started just reblogging, then I impulsively added to a prompt list in one of my reblogs and people really liked it? So I made more. And more and more and more- eventually I started posting scenes, and I've been having a lovely time here ever since! 

Do you think your view on whump has changed since you joined? Are there tropes you now love/hate that you didn't at first? 

Absolutely. Like. Wow so much. I used to dislike pain a lot and only enjoy the fear leading up to it. While I still prefer the suspense, nothing really squicks me out anymore. I used to hate pet whump but now I'm a fan. 

I have started making whump art as of late, which has been a fun new adventure! I picked it up almost solely because there's so many fantastic writers in this community who deserve some good fanart. I'm having fun working through a list of my favorite creators!

Tell us about your favourite whump trope!

Dear goodness, do I love a chin tilt.

No no...hmmm.....I get to run wild with this question and there's nothing you can do to stop me! Muahhahahhaaaaaaaa~

Okay so. Picture this.

Whumpee stumbling slowly backward, breath catching in their throat and burning at their lungs. Their feet drag against the ground as they stare up at Whumper, eyes shaking and sparkling with tears that cling to their lashes, refusing to fall. Not /quite/ yet. 

Whumper strokes a knuckle down their cheek, drawing a twitch - not quite a flinch, no no, Whumpee wouldn't dare to pull away. Whumper's hand flips softly as it reaches their jaw, pressing to their throat instead.

Whumpee finally lets a sound pass their lips, a soft whimper as their back hits the wall. The momentum topples the wetness from their lashes, and Whumper's eyes roam down to follow them as they soak hot into the fabric of Whumpee's shirt. 

Whumper's hand turns up just /once/ more, curling a finger under Whumpee's chin to tip their head up, drawing hiding eyes back into place.

Then they say something whumpy, I guess - you get the picture.

LOVE that shit. 

Intimate whumpers? Slow pacing? Vivid sensation? Yes!

Absolutely loving the detail in that! It’s all about the sensations! And speaking of favourites, do you want to share a piece you've written?

Hard Question!

First one that comes to mind is The Party. It's one of my favorites because my hands were shaking so hard while writing it. It was a great way to kick off that event (@thewhumperssoiree) which I'm inadvertently yet shamelessly plugging by answering with that piece I guess! It's very very fun, I loved what that piece created. Everyone who wrote for it did such a great job! (Event is still open, I don’t know why I'm talking about it in past tense)

Do you have a standard writing style/routine or does it vary?

I absolutely change up my paragraph style depending on the intensity of the scene or the place in the scene. I'm a big fan of elaborating and writing moment to moment so the oc's sensations and emotions bleed into the reader. I don't write much on visuals at all - almost entirely on sensation, which I think works well in this medium.

When I'm writing, I kinda forget everything else exists, so I don't have food or drink or if I do, it's neglected. If anyone tries to talk to me, tough luck to them, I'm in the Write Zone and I cannot hear them!

I write solely when inspiration strikes which.......is a lot!

Is there a noticeable difference in how easily you write things? Do the words always flow or do you have to beat them out sometimes?

There's characters who don't get in my head nearly as easily, and ones that are effortless. Getting fucking Alec in my head? Impossible. He's a bitch, then does bitch things once there. Ethan? Dream. Miracle boy. So easy to write that emo little shit. For clarification, the seven chapters of Alec's series vs the thirty of Ethan's. Alec is a bitch. End of story.

But, I also do much better describing little moments rather than full scenes. I'm good at scenes, but it takes so many spoons. Hence why I have three hundred or so random drabble posts or lists, but only like fifty total from my series. It just takes more effort to have to think about plot and pacing and all that good stuff. 

Fun? Yes. 

But hard.

Is there anything you're working on at the moment? Finalising the final chapter of your series? Starting a new au? Trying a different style of writing/pov? Revisiting fanfiction? Maybe you've really gotten into poetry....

Oh dear goodness, I'm working on everything all at once and I need to stop!

I also need to roleplay less and write more for you lovelies! I’m so sorry I’m just really distractible…

Give us some writing advice. Bless us with your wisdom!

I have posts for this but:

1. Keep your descriptions to the textured senses. Less visuals, more sensation. Caretaker has brown hair? So what? Tell me about how Caretaker's hair curled at the ends, just barely tickling at the corner of their eyes until they flicked it away with a twitchy shake of the head.

2. Personify the shit out of your nouns. Whumpee bled? No. The blood soaked through Whumpee's shirt. Make it an external factor that's affecting them. Much more engaging.

3. Pacing. Whumpee got dragged into the car, then into a house and chained in the basement? That's not one scene, that's at least three. OR. It's a two sentence summary that Whumpee is musing about while already in the basement. 

4. Speaking of, don't start with the boring, just get right into the action. You can weave the 'how we got here' bits in after a few sentences, but get your reader hooked right away. Don't start with "Whumpee got out of bed, glancing at their blaring alarm". Try instead "Their hands were shaking so hard they had to try three times to dial the number, fingers as clumsy as they were that morning, trying to slap their alarm off through the fog of blissful sleep." Or just don't mention it at all! Skip to the good stuff!

Lastly, let’s hype up some of your favourite blogs! Any friends, writers or just really cool people you want to shout out?

@whumblr was like my idol before I started! It's so cool just casually knowing her now? Still not over that, to be honest.

I always tag her but @distinctlywhumpthingmpthing is so good? Seriously, you want to see some god-tier writing, go over there. (minors read tws well please, its not all for you.)

@brutal-nemesisemesis is always a delight. Castys gives me life.

And of course,  I'm gonna give a shoutout to @wormwritinging, my beloved. We met here and as much as I adore this community, they're hands down the best part of it. 

Anything you'd like to add? 

I can't think of anything but thank you for doing this. This blog is so cool!

It’s been a honor to have you here, @painsandconfusion!

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

[softquietsteadylove]

Thenamesh receptionist AU: Gil is sick and Thena takes care of him :)

Thanks for your amazing prompts and fics! Love them all and love you too 😁❤️

Thena looks up when another coughing fit breaks the silence. She looks at the doors to the office behind her desk. She's been working here for a few months now, and she might even dare to say that she's gotten to know her boss a little bit, by now.

Everyone always asks if she knows what she's doing, or why she works for the company, let alone as a personal receptionist to the CEO. But she always says that she likes living in Korea, she likes the change in jobs from what she did back home at the museum. And she likes him--Gilgamesh.

He's nice, even though people keep warning her that he's some kind of monster. Certainly, he might seem scary on the outside. He's a mountain of a man, and she can see how his scowl might come off as intimidating.

But he's also nice--kind of sweet, really. He never says as much, but she knows that he's done things like make a note of which restaurants are her favourite to order lunch from, or ordering her a car service home when it's late and he doesn't want her to walk alone.

Thena pokes her head into his office, bringing in a tray with some barley tea as well as a few papers that need signing. She keeps it to herself when she sees the cold medicine on his desk and catches him while he's wiping his nose.

"Thanks," he mumbles as she places them down in front of him. He turns in his chair.

His eyes are bloodshot, the tip of his nose is red from agitation, and he even looks faintly flushed, surely from a fever. He's wearing a business suit, like usual, but he has his suit jacket on. And his sleeves aren't rolled up to the elbows (both an indication that he's cold).

Thena makes note of all of these things in her head as she watches him scribble out his name on everything.

"You okay?"

Thena looks up, not just at the question, but how he asks it in English. They speak in English often, since he spent some time in his youth in America. Something he has apparently not told a single other soul, since people are shocked whenever they hear the boss is fluent in it. "Sorry?"

"Are you okay?" he repeats, setting aside the last paper and picking up his tea. He takes one sip and winces as he swallows it. His throat is sore. "You seem kinda...distracted."

"Sorry," she says softly, attempting to smile at him. She can see on his face that he doesn't really believe her, but doesn't want to - or maybe know how to - ask further. "You still have a meeting at 4 today with Jasmine bank."

"Right." He sighs just a little, and his shoulders sink visibly.

Thena taps her fingers against the tea tray in her hands, "I can...cancel it, if you wanted to reschedule."

"No, no, I've been putting it off for too long already," Gilgamesh grumbles, folding his arms around himself. He really is cold. "Although, maybe..."

"Maybe?" Thena prompts him, eager to do anything that might help him in his current state.

He looks at her, the scary-boss face gone and just Gilgamesh's almost-cute face in place of it. "Maybe...they could do 3 instead of 4?"

Thena does her best to contain her smile, "I'll call them."

"Thank you," he gives her an exceedingly rare smile. Their eyes meet and something in his face changes, "Thena."

She nods and turns; sometimes she gets a shiver when he says her name. She doesn't really know what that means, but she still thinks she would rather keep it to herself.

She returns to her desk, already picking up the phone and dialing the number and extension for the representative with whom Gilgamesh deals. She exchanges pleasantries with him and asks if they can move their meeting ahead in the day, due to an unforeseen opening.

He asks how far forward. She asks for his earliest opening possible. He offers just after lunch, 1:30 at the latest. She thanks him for his consideration and his time.

She hangs up the phone, clicking around on her screen and scrolling through her options. This...might be a bad idea.

Gilgamesh sneezes into another tissue and tosses it away when Thena re-enters his office. He tugs at his jacket, which is now even buttoned up.

Thena lingers by the door, turning up the thermostat for the room, despite his usually strict rules about it. "They asked if you could do after lunch. The rest of your day is technically free, so I figured-"

"Great!" He's so visibly, clearly elated. Obviously it's the only reason he's here in the office today. His smile is so nice, she briefly wonders what she could do to see it more often. He clears his throat and settles into his seat again more quietly. "Order whatever you want, I'll be-"

"Actually," Thena starts, and then pauses almost immediately. Is this a bad idea? It's definitely not the best idea. Yes, Gilgamesh is nice, but she's also already overstepped today (and lied to him about it). Maybe this is nosy of her. Maybe he'll tell her to mind her own business.

"What?" he prompts her, looking genuinely curious, if a little worried.

Thena steps into the room, clasping a bag in her hands. She walks over to his desk, hoping she doesn't look foolish as she sets the delivery down in front of him. "I, um, noticed you seem...under the weather."

"Oh."

She steps back, increasingly aware of her increasingly warm cheeks. "I know you love sundubu jjigae, and I've had it from a place around the corner from me more times than I can count. I thought the soup might be good f-"

"Thena."

Her shoulders draw up automatically, just a little. She looks up at him, half expecting for him to tell her that this isn't the kind of thing for which he hired her.

But he's got that smile on again. Although maybe it isn't as bright, but it's so soft, and so warm. She feels like she's being hugged just by witnessing it. He clutches the bag to him as if she's given him a very personal gift. "Thank you for thinking of me."

Thena clasps her hands in front of her, at a loss as to what else to do with them. She offers him a smile, feeling much more bashful than she did a moment ago. "I-I'm sure you could go home after your meeting, if you so desired."

He chuckles as he unpacks the soup and various sides. His eyes light up when he sees the rice she ordered as extra. She knows that he likes to stir it into the soup. "You're spoiling me."

Thena is already turning as she mutters out, "ordering your lunch is part of my job, actually."

It is. Although maybe feeling nervous and embarrassed about it isn't usually part of it. And maybe she doesn't necessarily have to know all his favourite dishes to get from the different restaurants they patron. And maybe it's not part of her job to turn the heat up for him yet again on her way out and back to her desk.

She's just...being a good employee.

[geminai-ramblez]

CLAWS PURIFYING WIND AU

SUMMARY: Even, if he didn't remember being an active member of delinquency, Takemichi. . . surely has left a heavy impression on others on how they wanted to be. Whether they always came out winning, reassured, or even. . . just confident in themselves to just know that it didn't matter if there was a mirage of purples or blues on their skin, not even when they threw up blood, they just knew. . . he just knew. . . they'll come out on top.

CONTEXT: This is a continuation of PART ONE of CLAWS!Takemichi and how he either interacts or changes the plot of Tokyo Revengers by not following the CANON version of Hanagaki Takemichi. Oh, and how CLAWS!Takemichi sees the world through the lenses of someone reincarnated into a new world where. . . there were no more demons or demon slayers at the break of moonlight. Just. . . peace. Tranquility. . . but surely, how can that last any longer?

CHARACTER(S): BAJI KEISUKE, HANAGAKI TAKEMICHI, HANEMIYA KAZUTORA, KAKUCHO (IMPLIED), MATSUNO CHIFUYU, MRS. HANAGAKI, SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI, TOMAN (IMPLIED), AND YAMAMOTO TAKUYA.

WARNING(S): UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISM AND UNHEALTHY MINDSETS. IMPLIED BLOOD LOSS, DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER (not DID, there is a difference here), AND STAB WOUND.

I'm not sure if that's all the warnings, but these are the main ones, if I do miss a major one, please do tell me! Thank you and happy reading/happy scrolling.

A/N: Hello, it's me again! :)

You already know the gist. . . me and my worker bees giving you what we have to offer lore-wise and showcasing it to you all! I do hope you enjoy your reading and without further ado, let's spill the beans!

PLOT POINTS:

So, where to start? There were some key concepts that I left out during PART ONE. . . let's start with that then!

CLAWS!Takemichi doesn't remember straight away who he is (was). I think I implied this, or just didn't mention it very explicitly, but by this story's standard, CLAWS!Takemichi does not remember who he is from the start.

The "first arc" that has been altered is Takemichi slowly remembering who he used to be, it's only at the end of the arc when Takemichi is pushed into the train tracks during the beginning of the show/manga, that everything starts to be put into its proper place.

He has flashbacks or well his 'lives' flash before his eyes.

I spent a good 5-ish chapters just explaining how this Takemichi alters the canon and still faces the same consequences just altered to fit with the theme of 'reincarnation'.

One of many changes that have been committed was the fact that Takemichi hardly had any 'childhood friends,' yes, Takemichi meets Kakucho and even helps him yet Takemichi doesn't offer an olive branch of friendship till Kakucho claims him as a friend. (and reluctantly Takemichi accepts without any desire to pursue the friendship till it means something to him.)

Then Kakucho is no longer in the picture.

Takuya doesn't appear till Junior High, however, that does not mean that neither met each other as children.

Takemichi just doesn't remember when he first met Takuya. Takemichi firmly believes he first met Takuya in Junior High and has only interacted with him in Junior High.

Which, as you know, is a big issue because that's not the case.

Another thing I've failed to mention previously is that Takemichi often has dissociation episodes. Either it is triggered by internal or external forces or it just happens when Takemichi lets his mind wander for too long.

This results in Takemichi often simulating himself to doing something so he won't be like a doll letting the world pass by.

He doesn't have the time or effort or will to sit around and look pretty if it means being left alone with the thoughts that push him to remember a past that has long since been reduced to a mere folktale by the younger generations.

Especially, where in this life. . . he has nothing else to worry about other than living a life where he does basically anything his heart could desire. (despite not having a family in this life to call his own — or to protect.)

Again, this results in Takemichi's habit of intervening in fights, especially, when he was younger since he dissociated a lot as a child which led to this 'fighting the big guys' that resulted in CLAWS!Takemichi interacts with the Tokyo Revengers characters way earlier than canon without ever really retaining the fact he has met them before.

This is how Takuya met Takemichi.

Either Takuya was a victim of the bullying or he was a spectator to the fights Takemichi took part in, and he realized Takemichi just standing there non-reactant was wrong. At least, something was wrong with Takemichi. So, he took it upon himself to always look after Takemichi without ever really saying anything to Takemichi.

This leads to this odd dynamic duo since Takemichi never knew this. He never thought of the 'hows' or the 'gaps' in his memory when he saw himself back in his childhood home.

Takemichi always assumes he just walked home subconsciously and never asked 'how did I get here?' because Takemichi truly believes he did it on his own. He never assumes there's a third person in all of this.

Of course, this assumes that Takuya lives nearby and knows which house to bring Takemichi back to whenever he goes blank.

Another thing that changes that I did state, but didn't dwell on is Takemichi's ability to fight. CLAWS!Takemichi can fight and does fight. Oftentimes, he fights for a reason because morally wise, Takemichi fights to protect because Sanemi fought to protect humanity from demons.

Which is a noble reason. However, he also fights because he can't do anything else.

As much as I want to dwell on making this Takemichi a saint, he is not a saint. Especially, if Takemichi is the reincarnation of Sanemi. Sanemi isn't a saint, he follows the rules, but his actions can be viewed from a range of perspectives.

And if I'm being honest, I didn't even like Sanemi prior to reading the manga (thankfully reading the manga helps, though it doesn't always justify his actions) so, trying to make CLAWS!Takemichi be like this saint-like hero just won't make sense.

At least, not at first.

Another thing, about this Takemichi is that communication can be a hit or miss because Takemici knows communication is important, his mother taught him about it after all. However, as Sanemi, being a hundred percent honest just will not do for either of them.

So, depending on the person and what they're asking it's a 50/50 chance of Takemichi answering with the truth or a half-baked or avoiding the truth.

One last thing for tonight that I want to talk about it's Takemichi's headspace! Or mindset if that makes sense because I've implied somethings that I never put on PART ONE.

Takemichi's mindset is like a contradiction, an ambivalence because mixing Sanemi with Takemichi's personality was a little hard (in my opinion) to do.

On one hand, Takemichi learns to be a leader, he's a single child, and he's this coward that learns to care for people to the point he's willing to do whatever it takes to get the perfect ending.

On the other, from what we see from Genya's perspective about Sanemi, is that as an older brother, he had to grow up faster, he didn't need to worry about himself, and he was irrelevant to his own self, but his siblings? They were his priority.

His worries, his feelings, and everything about Sanemi just didn't matter and when his mother turned into a demon - when it was just Sanemi and Genya - Sanemi pushed Genya away because in his eyes there wasn't anything else he could do. There was nothing that Sanemi back then could do that didn't end up in failure.

And as everyone knows, trauma affects everyone differently. Having that brash exterior and showing everyone teeth instead of his heart was the only way, back then, for Sanemi to protect others and himself.

He couldn't hesitate, he couldn't misplace himself, and he couldn't mourn properly. He just had to go, go, go.

Manga knows how the ending goes for this, but for spoiler's sake I will not elaborate other than this: bittersweetness.

So, in order for me to make this balance work, I had to make this Takemichi be this calm, confident, but brash individual. Also, there are mental health issues at play to his character here as well because Takemichi's actions can count as heroic or caring, but Takemichi never thinks that.

Takemichi always thinks he's doing what he can do. There isn't an afterthought 'if this was a good action,' it's only 'what can I do right now.' At the current moment, whether that be intimidating the enemy, his own companions, or straight up using his own body to act as a meat shield. . . Takemichi's actions always have a good reason, but never the right angle.

Think of it like this since I really don't want to spoil the manga, but think of Muichiro and Yuichiro. Yuichiro cares about his brother, we know this because Yuichiro confesses to this at the end of his life. Of course, we don't see how Yuichiro cares because his actions aren't viewed as caring.

Yuichiro cared and probably wanted Muichiro to learn how to handle himself and live a long life, but we didn't know that till his death where you see the full picture.

This is how I view Sanemi sometimes and how this Takemichi acts. The reader is aware of Takemichi's things and thoughts, but not the T.R. characters. Chifuyu didn't know why Takemichi thought it was a good idea to use his own body as a meat shield. His mother knew Takemichi did things for a reason, but never fully comprehended the 'why' of his actions. And none of Toman would know why Takemichi was so hell-bent on being Kisaki's number-one hater.

Not till the 'why' came after all was said and done.

For Chifuyu, who is a confirmed reincarnation, and who will remember his memories eventually. Takemichi used himself because Takemichi didn't want Baji to die. The angle and height at which the knife was heading were going to hit a vital spot and unless Baji knew how to clot that up fast enough, Baji could've died.

This death would've affected Chifuyu and it definitely had in the canon, but this Takemichi knew if he were to be stabbed and bled, he'd be fine because this wasn't his first rodeo (and it won't be his last.)

I didn't even add this at all in the last part, but the way I thought about this was that once Takemichi got stabbed for Baji, it was like there was a switch in personality.

Either due to the adrenaline or the fact that the knife Kazutora used did hit something major in Takemichi's body, Takemichi was out for blood. Legit, he was like "If I'm going down, I'm going down with a bang."

Because the end result of the Valhalla vs Toman arc is that Toman and every other gang that gathered to watch the fight witness just how stubborn and unwilling Takemichi is to lose a war and to die without at least doing something prior to knocking on death's door.

And that's if Takemichi gets to die.

In order for me to make sense, this is what happened in the Valhalla vs Toman arc, Takemichi tries (and fails because he sucks at negotiations) to convince Baji to drop it and Bloody Halloween happens. Then when the fight commences, things are going smoothly because Takemichi can fight and will kick butt. However, Baji gets killed - or he was supposed to get killed till Takemichi recalls his main purpose was to not get Baji killed.

It was a split-in-the-moment decision to run from one side of the arena to the other, Takemichi knew Chifuyu couldn't go against Baji, it was kinda obvious from Takemichi's perspective, but he didn't have time to think and the worst - in Takemichi's eyes - was that he ended up dead or in a hospital.

Of course, it has been a solid minute getting injured and whether or not Takemichi could say he enjoyed it or not is up for debate. (Again, while Takemichi isn't in a full-blown depressive mindset or accepting of his reality, there are times where he needs to be anchored. The easiest way for him is through the adrenaline of a fight: a die or live situation.)

The sudden adrenaline boost was like a trigger for Takemichi and especially for Sanemi because while Kazutora gets pushed away harshly (that's the only thing Takemichi will do to Kazutora), the knife used to stab Takemichi is taken out (dumbly, but Takemichi wasn't thinking straight), and he bulldozed into battle (literally in a single jump that should be physically impossible and aerial flips that have to had hurt and aggravated the fatal wound).

Letting himself use the body that has been forced to play house into the reality of what it can do, what it should've been doing from the very start.

The shout and yell of Takemichi's name does bring forth a lot of attention and when it reaches the captains and Mikey himself about Takemichi's current state it's like a battle has shifted to get Takemichi to stop because he's bleeding out.

Though of course, it isn't as simple as that, and reaching Takemichi seems impossible, and when the ambulance and hint of police involvement get mentioned the battlefield withers.

It takes several, and I mean several people, to get Takemichi to stop because he doesn't let up, he doesn't stop hitting anything with the white jacket. Whether it be kicking some sense into them or springboarding off of people, Toman is actively trying to get Takemichi to stop from dying, and when they do they are shocked by the outcome.

Takemichi did lose quite a bit of blood and is hanging on to life with his thumbs, but Toman was surprised that Takemichi - at some point - lost consciousness and was fighting purely from adrenaline and instincts that have been burned into his skin like scars that can never be removed.

The recovery process is something entirely of its own so, I won't ramble about it, but what I can ramble about for a little longer is that due to the fact that Chifuyu is a reincarnation of someone Takemichi knew, this plays into the fact about Takemichi's why.

Takemichi has a suspicion about who Chifuyu was back then, but he won't know till his hunch is either confirmed or outright incorret.

Also, funnily enough, Baji is also a reincarnation. This will show the duality of reincarnation and the pain of being able to remember and being oblivious to how things used to be.

Anyway, before I go and make this more lengthy than it has to be, the next part will most likely dwell on which characters are reincarnations and who are not.

Also, I may or may not example another arc or so, but we shall see. Funnily enough, I've already written about this and even have chapters on AO3 about this idea though I never got far till the beginning of the first arc, but I plan to write in it again.

I find that writing out on what happens is nice and I enjoy rambling about it and then writing about it or vice versa.

Ahem, thank you for reading this far and for your time. I hope you have a happy reading and have a fair day, night, or whatever time it is for you. Thank you, and I bid you adieu!

(Not sure if this counts as a promo and if it does, I'm sincerely sorry, that is not my intention, but if you're genuinely curious about how I write the actual story this is called 'CLAWS-PURIYING WIND by KitCat_The_TatoBean'.

So, just the AU name and that's it. I'm currently rewriting it and the explanation of arcs to you guys has always helped me when I do write. So, only read this if you want to, just reading this is helpful enough, and again, thank you for your time. Have a lovely day! :D)

[suugrbunz]

Don’t throw your writing away. It’s a part of yourself, something you’ve put time and emotion into. Believe me, you’ll regret it - I still regret ripping up a couple of my journals 8+ years ago. If you need a break, just put your writing aside for a while. Do something else to focus your mind. Things that can help me, when I’m feeling low, are listening to music, reading a book (nonfiction especially), cooking, going out and doing something, and any kind of nonverbal creative activity (clay sculpting, making music, drawing, sewing, knitting). 

I recommend reading a book that’s very different from what you might usually read or write about. As in, if you usually read a lot about WWII, don’t read about that - try something completely different. 

Watching a good film or TV show can be comforting too. Again, something that really helps me is going outside my usual subjects - so try watching something different. 

Writing something different can help too. Maybe just do some journaling about what’s happened in your day, each day. Or write about your favourite memories.

If you read total rubbish on the internet, stop it! I’ve wasted hours reading absolute trash articles and scrolling on strangers’ profiles. It’s not worth it. 

Take care and be good to yourself. If you just sit around or let your thoughts fester, you’ll never feel better. Do something different. It’s basic advice but it can work wonders <3

so basically, me hating my writing for a moment came from a fight with my friend which I'm still resolving. it also partly comes from I don't know what exactly I wish to do with my next chapter and usually i ask that friend her opinion— but we're in the midst of communicating our feelings so I can't just suddenly ask "hey does this or this create a better plot.".

i do appreciate your suggestions but i tend to do all of that already; i help my mother cook because she has a chronic illness (but i love that we get to spend time together). i read physical books because i use them as a way to better my writing but i need to read more. funnily enough, i have to sew the seam of my pants which I'll be doing when my cat isnt around me. she loves to try and eat my scissors or my sewing needle. Funnily enough, I don't read ww2 books. I tend to read all sorts of books. Maybe I'll re-read some mahmoud darwish. My parents only have one streaming service (youtubeTV) as that's all we can afford right now. Which doesn't have anything I enjoy. So, um, if anyone has any tubi recommendations, go for it!

I've been trying to decrease my time spent on social media; i uninstalled tiktok nearly six or seven months ago, i try not to look at Instagram too much but it is my primary way of texting people. Instagram and tiktok fuck me up though. I saw someone with a similar body shape as my own and everyone was body shaming her for being an hourglass figure... it's one thing when porn addicted men shame women; like it's taken with a grain of salt. However, seeing women shame her made me feel so small yk? i need to stop looking at Instagram comments. especially when everyone has such skewed perceptions of body image? i mean i wrote zosa with an eating disorder as a way to vent for me with the hope that a representation of someone with an eating disorder would help someone feel like... they're not alone. um, anyway, I'm getting off track. idk, sorry.

[pof203]

A Summoner Birthday

Special Quest: Licho

I don't know about this. Are you sure this is a good idea?

I know this is a bit new for you, but it looked like you needed the help.

Licho: I guess so. I'm not going to get anywhere if I just sit around and get frustrated.

You brought Licho to the virtual fairytale world to help him find inspiration for a new poem he's working on.

Lupin: So, where do you think we should go?

Licho: I guess we could stay here. This town is amazing enough.

Lupin: Okay.

So, you and Licho decide to stay in Candyland.

You and Licho just lean against a nearby shop when you notice a familiar face.

♪Do you know the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man?♪ ... (speaking) Man, what am I doing?

Lupin: Hey, Nomad!

Nomad: (surprised) Lupin? And Licho? What are you two doing here?

Licho: Lupin's helping me find some inspiration for my next poem.

Nomad: I see. How's that coming along?

Licho: Nothing yet. And what about yourself?

Nomad: Andvari has me going around selling muffins around town.

Lupin: How do you get money off of that?

Nomad: He's using cryptocurrency. Whatever that means.

Licho: Making money online. The world sure has changed.

Nomad: So, would you like a muffin? I'm sure Andvari will let it be on the house if it's you two.

Lupin: Thanks.

You choose a chocolate-chip muffin while Licho just gets a plain one. With that, Nomad leaves. You are about to eat your muffin when you notice Licho just staring at his.

Lupin: Is something wrong with your muffin, Licho?

Licho: How does Mother Goose do it? She can make a poem about muffins, but I can't make a poem out of anything right now.

Lupin: I'm sure even Mother Goose had writer's block from time to time. I'm sure something will come soon.

Licho: I guess.

Licho takes a small bite of his muffin. He looks around at the scenery around him.

Licho: This place... It's really not like anything I've ever seen. Even when I take a closer look, I still can't believe it's all just an illusion created by a computer. Where did Kurogane even get get the inspiration?

Lupin: I guess from things Boogeyman told him about his homeworld. It's meant to be a world where fantasy meets reality.

Licho: Yeah. Though, it does get you to wonder. Like... Is there world, the Tokyo we live in real itself? Or, is it also just an illusion created by another?

Lupin: ... That's deep.

Licho: Yeah. I just wonder what's reality and which is dream. Back in my homeworld, I thought that things like love and friendship was just stuff made up for stories. But then my friend came along and I learned that that may not be the case. We created a bond that just seemed so true. Until that event happened and I found myself in that Tokyo. I was convinced that it was all an illusion again... But then, I met you. You, Sanat Kumara, Hanuman, Tetsuox, everyone. Even Wakan Tanka. All the times I spent with you... It was all real to me.

Lupin: And all times we spent with you were all real to us. Because love and friendship are real.

Licho: I'm happy for that. I guess that shows how much I love you all.

Licho then found himself in deep thought... Finally, inspiration struck.

Licho: (excited) I've got it!

He takes out his scroll and and brush and begins to write down the words as if they were flowing right out of the bottom of his heart. Finally, he was done.

Licho: Alright, listen to this.

The Weaver’s Song

In the loom of existence, threads intertwine, A cosmic tapestry woven by hands unseen. Creation dances with illusion, a delicate design, And love and friendship emerge from the weave.

In the celestial atelier, constellations spin, Galaxies twirl like spindles in cosmic kin. The Weaver, ancient and nameless, begins: “Threads of life, let your dance begin.”

Veil of mist, shimmering and thin, Illusion’s dance conceals what lies within. Worlds birthed from whispers, shadows akin, Yet truth peeks through, like dawn’s first grin.

Threads of crimson, threads of gold, Love’s warp and weft, stories yet untold. In laughter shared and secrets told, Hearts entwined, a tapestry to behold.

Silken strands of camaraderie bind, Friendship’s knots, unyielding and kind. Through storms and sunsets, side by side, Together we weave, our souls allied.

You feel lost within Licho's words as they enter our soul, filling it with light and hope.

Lupin: That was beautiful, Licho. I'm sure everyone will love it.

Licho: (a bit happy) Yeah, I'm sure they will.

Lupin: I knew bringing you here would give you the inspiration you needed.

Licho: True. But don't let this place take all the credit.

Lupin: Why?

Licho: Because, the majority of my inspiration for that poem... came from you.

Lupin: ... Thank you, Licho.

Licho: And thank you, Lupin.

You both embrace each other, knowing that poem brought something good and true into your lives to link you all together.

After finishing your muffins, you both do a bit of people watching before returning home.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The poem was written using Bing Copilot.

[igbylicious]

hwa: Dommy mommy Hwa? sign me the fuck uP. These words you speak remind me of twitter user hwcberry's art :')

hellooooooo all their art is gorgeous????? (*♡∀♡) i just spent soooo much time scrolling through their account asdkjadsjkdas god i really don’t want to get a twitter account but on days like these i am TESTED (.❛ ω ❛ .)

(I can't stop imagining mommy!hwa taking care of the members when they're sad and miss home, are stressed from too much work and too little sleep etc ;_; Just, woo/san/yeosang/[name] crying into his tiddies as he pets and reassures them, coos over them, and then probably rails them to make it all better.)

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ♡

i Need seonghwa's cock and strap Right Now actually byeeee

that popped into my head literally while typing out the post and i’ve been HAUNTED by the visual ever since T_T

this fucking SENT me, there's something so mean (affectionate) about treating a sub's body like they're something to be toyed with and made to do things just for the dom's amusement. smth smth light objectification,

yes yes YES!!! >:3 ngl objectification is highkey one of my favourite kinks askjdskajads she’s just SUCH a versatile queen and plays so nicely together w/ so many other kinks! and she doesn’t even need much for a big impact, like even just a lil sprinkling through your degradation or praise will already spice things up deliciously (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

strongly agree that he'd have a very hard time hiding how good he feels >u> you know that sorrowful looking crease he gets in between his eyebrows when he sings smth particularly high? yeah.

THE EXACT MENTAL IMAGE I HAD IN MY HEAD HOW DID YOU KNOOOOOOWWWWW (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

hongjoong: YEa he very much has the vibe of someone who will be a bit of a meanie, but will immediately drop the act and make sure you're okay if you he gets even the slightest sense that you aren't enjoying it. he's actually so so polite and, more importantly, genuinely caring, and he'd do his absolute best to only do things both of you actually enjoy ; ;

nooooo for real! ;; i can picture Hongjoong as a sadist dom i cannot picture him as even a slightly careless or self-centered one ;;

every single thing you said about sub joong, [chef's kiss emoji]. i don't think i've actually seen any sassy brat hongjoong fics, but now i wanna >U>

i don’t think i have either! the NEED for it tho oof, i just need this man to sass and roll his eyes at me (or Seonghwa uwu) and get wrecked for it PLEASE 🥺

NO i remember this too. the menace.

oKAY so that was NOT a feverdream i hallucinated up abt Yunho good good good good good (i’m not good)

and yet i can't help but feel like he's pretty vanilla. it always seems just a bit off to me when he's written as a hard, mean dom (no hate to those that live their truth though 💯💯💯).

lol not to go off on a ramble and get too deep abt horny kpop fantasies but honestly the differences are always really fun to see, to me at least! like, atinys are all looking at the same ppl and the same videos and yet we can still end up in such DIFFERENT places. obv part of it is projection of our own preferences, but also that we all take away and focus on very different aspects of these men. it just says smth abt the inherent subjectivity of human perception and idk i just find that stuff interesting (ᵔ◡ᵔ)

(just as long as everyone does have that same live-and-let-live attitude abt it lol)

(also; HUGE fan of the soft vanilla Yunho agenda! it’s just so sweet to think abt and suits him really well ;; ♡ )

his eyes just look soft and light in a way i can't imagine ever changing, even though i've literally seen them change when he's on stage lol. but like, in his own personal life? im not convinced. ig i'll have to keep reading hard dom yunho things for research purposes :3c

LOL the things we do in the name of research ♡(>ᴗ•)

i think it’s in some very small moments for me! like; the wanteez episode in which they play the zombie game (w/ Yeosang as the judge who gets eaten, not the one in the high school) is one of my go-to watches if i need a quick pick-me-up, and there is this tiny moment where Yunho lowkey warns Mingi abt goofing off that is seared into my brain @_@ and since i rewatch that episode pretty often, that moment has prob coloured my view of Yunho more than it really ought to (but that’s what i mean abt perception being so subjective!)

but tbh also just the intense contrast w/ his usual softness is a huge appeal for me @_@ and i can’t explain why Yunho scratches that particular itch while for someone like say, Yeosang, i am not into the contrast-factor at all! i just don’t see it! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the horny brain does not always make sense lol

ANYWAY that’s enough of my hard dom Yunho agenda lol i shall free you from my ramblings xD

see now that you say this, i can very much imagine him enjoying things he doesn't personally care for, only because his partner is visibly/audibly affected >:3

saaaame he strikes me as SUCH a ‘gets off on his partners’ pleasure’ guy :’3

ACK smol yunho ;A; he deserves to feel so so small and cute always!!! i think he would be SUCH a good boy, just as you said =u= all big pleading emoji eyes and whimpers. he deserves the world ;A;

he is so sweet and kind and has such beautiful big brown eyes and i am a simple soul; i just wish to see those eyes tear up a lil from how good he feels 〒▽〒

ok Mood,

asdjkdsj yeah i saw that abt Yeosang in your post and i was like ‘yeeeeep i feel ya’ lol. i have enjoyed a few fic w/ him as a hard dom, but it’s like… idk how to explain. those tapped into smth where i could enjoy the mental image of him cast into that role, without any strong sense of ‘i could actually imagine him being like this’. (i feel a similar way abt AU’s that deliberately make major changes to the guys’ personalities! it’s fun, just in a different way than versions of them that stick closer to what they seem like irl!)

[edit: OH you literally said this right after lmaooo]

lol same-braining! (´ ω `♡)

...who said that,

a choir of angels straight from heaven singing their beautiful truth… ;; [standing ovation]

you already know i live for every single sub!san word that comes out of your mouth (and atp dom!san words too)

[picture me making the exact same face and gestures as Wooyoung in the gif you shared in your reblog (♡μ_μ) ]

no fr thats SO fucking cute and i can totally see it especially with less experienced mingi :'))

inexperienced Mingi would be so incredibly precious!!! („ಡωಡ„)

i just think he's always in the mood to sub. and im right :3

me five minutes ago: we all see and interpret these men in such different ways and that only makes the fandom all the more interesting & fun :)

me now: this is 100% correct Wooyoung told me so himself in a dream 😤

not a day goes by where i don't think about this wooyoung. he was so happy he couldnt help but be silly about it T_T <3

LOOK AT HIM FAAAAACEEEEEEEEEE ;; god he’s just SO precious i can’t w/ the lil hand gesture 〒▽〒 ♡

OH WORM??

I AM SO EXCITED ABT THE NEXT WHIWAY CHAPTER YOU HAVE NO IDEA HE’S GONNA BE SUCH A MENACE UWU ♡

im losing commenting-steam but ACH K sub jongho being well behaved.....what a dreamy little guy i love him and ilu too MWAH <3

lol i love how you wrapped that up hahahah (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) energy low, Isak OUT!

(but for real i’m glad you tap out if the energy isn’t there! i love your commentary so much but i love you and you taking care of yourself even MORE hehe (´ ε ` )♡ )

SUB / DOM ATEEZ HARD THOUGHTS

@wooyoungisbaby Isak asked abt dom / sub thoughts for the guys, and my rambling got out of hand. as it always does lol. self-control? we don’t know her

(ik you suggested to do this for the whiway au but! then i wouldn’t be able to talk abt sub Yunho :( & i can’t not talk abt sub Yunho :((( so these are just general thoughts abt the guys hehe~ ฅV●ᴥ●Vฅ)

sooooooo i am a huge switch-teez enthusiast; and this is essentially a bullet-point dissertation w/ a selection of d/s thoughts for each of the guys that make me go particularly 👀 they’re not meant to be speculation abt the guys’ preferences, just things that are very easy for me to imagine & that i think would be very very hot of them (｡◝‿◜｡)

warnings: dom / sub themes obv. also mentions of; penetrative sex, overstimulation, oral, ass eating, mommy kink, lingerie (on Hwa), riding crop, strap-on, DP in unspecified holes, dacryphilia, shibari / bondage, premature ejaculation, hair-pulling, drooling, sadism, corruption kink, brat taming, sugar daddy vibes, jewelry on reader, hand kink, implied choking, fingering (again unspecified holes), edging, puppy play, role play (including cnc for Yunho but no in-depth details), cockwarming, marking / bruises, blindfolds, pain kink, praise kink, dry humping, degradation kink, orgasm denial, dirty talk, biting, hair pulling, face sitting

a/n: gender neutral reader. genitalia are mentioned once w/ options. implied double anal penetration in absence of a puss, implied pegging in absence of a cock. there is a brief mention that reader could wear heels if they wanted for a scenario.

also my Yunho bias shows hard x_x i tried to keep the lengths under control but i just let myself go for his and i shall not apologise for it asdskjdasjk

⩥ SEONGHWA

Dom:

whether he is soft & gentle or hard & mean, Seonghwa is always elegant

even with sweat dripping off his nose from the exertion of fucking into you, even with his lower face covered in slick from eating pussy or cum dribbling down his chin from sucking dick, he is the most graceful dom to ever walk this earth

his long tongue is a blessing but his technique and dedication are divinity

you WILL get overstimulated

yes i have the mommy Seonghwa brainrot. yes i like imagining him in lingerie and a corset and make-up and heels while he’s in utter and complete control

to finish the look; riding crop??? riding crop.

also idk why but the thought of Hwa with a strap-on makes me so fucking dizzy. this man fucking you w/ two cocks at once

his strap would be so sleek and elegant too just like him

matches his favourite lingerie probably; Hwa is dedicated to the aesthetics

speaking of aesthetics; shibari (that’s it that’s the tweet)

saccharine sweet if you earn it

Sub:

fucking pathetic sloppy mess as a sub

listen i just really love the hc that Seonghwa is super sensitive and might cum prematurely asdskjasdjkdaskj

will prob cum from just being manhandled into giving head if he can get even just a lil friction going somewhere 👀 as a sub he likes to get sloppy, loves having his hair pulled

(ass, cock or pussy, this man gets drunk on it)

like if you want to do a long scene together; it’s so easy to just get a quick orgasm out of him and then have a real fucking hyper-sensitive Seonghwa at your disposal for the remainder of the night uwu

tie him up for maximum effect

cries so easily 🥺

can’t hide a thing, every ounce of pleasure shows on his face like an open book

hiccups and sobs and bite-swollen lips bc he keeps gnawing at his bottom lip, so so easily overwhelmed

…again; lingerie. put him in thigh-highs and knead at the soft flesh and cover those thighs all over w/ bites and hickeys

⩥ HONGJOONG

Dom:

listen…………we all know that grin………………………………………

what kind of world do we live in if our captain is not at least a tiny bit of a sadist??

lives to hear you beg

degradation as praise? praise as degradation? the line between being praised and being demeaned is soooo fucking razor-thin w/ this man

100% on purpose he likes it when you can’t tell for sure

(tho he is super cognisant of your state of mind. if he sees the doubt is genuinely getting to you, you’re getting a dose of pure unmistakable praise to settle you down)

he’ll happily tame a brat but he looooves ruining a sub who is already pliant for him. just to be mean.

i’m all aboard the Hongjoong corruption kink agenda

not even necessarily in a ‘you are inexperienced’ way (tho he can work w/ that 👀)

but watching you go from all immaculate and put-together to a depraved begging mess

yep

that does it for him

likes giving you jewelry to wear during sex. delicate body-chains and pretty necklaces that bounce when he fucks you. lowkey sugar daddy vibes; he loves seeing you decked out, but he esp loves seeing you decked out in things he bought you

Sub:

so while i love the image of Hongjoong offering himself up on a silver platter to you w/ a crooked grin; tbh i feel like he has potential to be a sub who outbrats even Wooyoung if he is In A Mood

the SASS on this man!!!

but once you break that snarky attitude? dear god the whines coming out of him ♨_♨

(listen do not be surprised if i use some variation of the word ‘whiny’ in every single sub section bc i know what i like and i am shameless abt it asdkjasdj)

noisy squirmy boi

on his elbows and knees, biting at the sheets as he gets fucked hard from behind, going slack-jawed and drooling on the bed as you wreck him into a stupor

fucked into complete physical exhaustion in the direct aftermath — but let him have a quick nap and his energy is like… he might still be tired but he’s also feeling so replenished? esp mentally

if he’s recently had a lot of on his mind then you might be treated to deep philosophical musings during the aftercare abt the world, the universe, life and everything

⩥ YUNHO

Dom:

i get pulled so hard into two directions w/ this man pls it’s not funny anymore i need HELP

he’s both the softest vanilla and the hardest freakiest dom out of the bunch to me, he's got my brain spinning

listen yall we all know how willingly Yunho indulges the fandom’s massive hard-on for his hands, imagine what he’ll do if he’s your partner ♨_♨

he gets off on how much you get off on having his hands around your neck

also unless i hallucinated that whole thing; Yunho has said he likes hearing atiny whine his name (sir?!?!?!?) so I'm gonna say he's a tease even when he's soft with you

takes you to the brink with those long fingers over and over again, pretends the edging is by accident

presses sweet kisses on your forehead or your tummy or your thighs as he laughs softly at your whining but points out he needs to get you prepped first for what he's packing; he just doesn't want to hurt you uwu

whether it is sincere sweetness or w/ an edge of mocking, depends entirely on his mood

(fake sweet Yunho my beloved ;;)

you're not fooled by his shenanigans but there's little you can do except gasp and squirm under him as his fingers press against your sweet spot again

still he’ll praise you every step of the way, and the payoff is more than worth it, he always makes sure of that

ok so the next thing isn’t really a dom / sub thing but it’s going somewhere that is, pls hear me out;

Yunho is totally up for some playful rp; he’ll do cheesy porn set-ups w/ you except he cannot keep a straight face through them to save his life lol. very lighthearted silly giggly sex that still makes your toes curl

he can keep a straight face through a very different type of role play; cnc

it’s not uncommon for Yunho to try and make you laugh during sex if a moment presents itself — but here he fully sinks into the role and there won’t be any light-heartedness until the aftercare,

and then you’ll be giggling twice as much as usual, once the timing is right ;;

the aftercare giggles are for Yunho’s benefit too; he needs to make and see you smile & laugh to feel like he’s fully come back into himself. to regain the right emotional equilibrium after taking on such an intense role

then he’s your sweet smiley golden retriever again ;;

might just fuck you again if you both have the energy, sweet and soft and slow this time ♡

Sub:

OKAY SO FIRST THINGS FIRST i gotta bring up that video in which Seonghwa and Wooyoung wear heels for a shoot and they joke around abt their heights — but then Yunho turns to the camera and whispers he’d like to be small; bc he’d be cute!!!

he’s always been pocket-sized in spirit to me so that had me by the throat asdkjasdkjd

so yeah i like to think he enjoys feeling small as a sub! not in a demeaning way, not even in a physical way necessarily!

(tho to be down on his knees in front of a dom who is either pretty tall or wearing heels (or both) does make him feel fantastically fuzzy)

no, it’s more like a cute lil pup who’s getting spoiled bc he’s a good boy uwu

(actual petplay optional~ ฅV●ᴥ●Vฅ)

love a sub Yunho who’s soft and well-behaved

and he wants to be! he wants to be a good boy and get pampered by his dom!! but sometimes his big golden retriever energy gets the better of him oop

(the video clip of a literal child scolding Yunho because “this hyung just won’t listen to me” lives in my head rent-free.)

and Yunho just can't always fight his brain when it sends him a fun impulse askdjdaskjsd

but it only takes gentle steering to get him back on track; like i said, he wants to be well-behaved for you 🥺

ok but to circle back to the puppy play

Yunho who loves being your good boy and is so playful and sweet — but he obediently lets you take your time to work him up and get him desperate

big brown eyes shimmering at you as you scratch him behind the ears while stroking his big hard cock

begging you to let him fuck you, to just let him inside you

so you sit in his lap and cockwarm him but you can tell it’s not enough, gets teary-eyed and he bites his lip to stop himself from whining bc you’re already giving him so much and he wants to be good

so you have mercy on him and let him fuck you from behind — if he makes you cum first

now there’s a demand Yunho can work with

usually he’s a hands-on guy but in puppy mode he prefers using his mouth and tongue. so he’s snugly between your thighs, getting himself messy. constant eye-contact as he peeks up at you, massaging your thighs and maybe even leaving a bite if he’s feeling cheeky — but he knows better than to tease too much

he is so far gone by the time he’s finally allowed to fuck you that he can’t do anything but mindlessly rut until he cums hard, gasping and shaking

still he makes sure not to collapse on top of you, instead slides off to the side and pulls you into his arms for a snuggle 🥺

(see Isak i wasn’t kidding abt whipping up a 1k essay just for Yunho alone! lol oop)

⩥ YEOSANG

Dom:

so tbh it’s much easier for me to picture Yeosang as a sub, but i do have this very specific idea for him that i can’t get out of my head of like

curiosity-driven dom Yeosang

maybe he was a lil shy at first, cautiously exploring your body and testing your reactions, but his eyes just lit up with intrigue when you let out a loud moan he didn't expect

that moment kick-starts it all, with him becoming bolder and bolder to seek out any other responses to his touch

do you moan when he kisses you here? do you gasp at a bite there? squirm when he pinches here?

and he never grows satisfied as he maps out your responses to pleasure — and pain, if you are so inclined

like

Yeosang stumbles into the whole pain play thing purely by accident but it’s barely even abt the sadism for him? if that makes sense?? it’s all about you and your arousal and the wide range of pleasure he can draw from you

he just wants to know

there’s always this sense of wonder abt him and his sparkling eyes when he’s playing w/ you

he probably gets even more experimental as time passes, actively on the look-out for new things he can try out

you’ll just be having a quiet evening and Yeosang comes up to you w/ that adorable small smile that on a surface level is full of innocence

but no he’s cutely excited to show you some obscure toy he found online and wants to know if you’re onboard ^^

Sub:

so vocal (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

shy but has a reeeaaaally hard time holding himself back if he’s overwhelmed

seriously so so noisy w/ lil whimpers and moans and quiet hitches of his breath. takes a bit for him to truly get loud, but dear god you’re still treated to a goddamn symphonic masterpiece of delectable noises

speaking of getting him loud 👀

if Yeosang trusts you but there’s some last remnant of shyness that he needs to shake off

he loves getting blindfolded

not seeing anything makes it easier for him to get lost in the pleasure; if nothing else exists in the world except you and your touch, he has nothing to be self-conscious of

that’s where he can get loud

can’t sit or lay still if you’re worshiping that gorgeous body or giving head; you’re gonna have to hold him down to stop his fidgety squirming uwu

gets flushed easily too

bruises like a peach and tho he gets shy abt marks in visible places, he lowkey loves it when you treat his chest like a blank canvas

pls gently brush his hair back & give his birth mark a lil peck during the aftercare okay? 🥺

⩥ SAN

Dom:

is it cheeky to say “just read whichever way”? it is?? okay alright lol

no but okay this man is dripping w/ care & devotion i want him SIMPING!!!

he LIVES for the praise and the validation, all it takes is a lil bit of encouragement and positive enforcement; and he may be the dom but you’ve still got him wrapped around your finger

while he can be the softest of soft service doms, it doesn’t take much to get San a lil rougher w/ you; he gets amped up easily and loves using his strength to your advantage

but you want him to be a mean dom? you can get him there but you’ll have to WORK for it by riling him the fuck up w/ some attitude bc this man’s natural instincts are to just please you all through the night (´︶｀)

San also loves to surprise-pin you against the wall. there’s just smth abt the spontaneity and passion of the moment that gets him going hard

depending on his mood he could either fuck you right then and there, or ravish you only to pull away w/ a smug, self-satisfied grin at how wrecked you are from just making out and a bit of dry-humping

(he’ll be back. San is too horned up to not finish the job)

Sub:

MAKE! HIM!! WHIMPER!!! AND CRY!!!!!!!

no but seriously a flushed Sannie pouting up at you when you deny him again 🥺

just the thought of him as like

a very very soft sub who yearns to get fucking wrecked by you 🥺

make him whine and writhe until he can’t handle it anymore and tears begin to streak down his cheeks

body worship melts this man into a fucking puddle and yes i am also talking abt tittie appreciation here

he always wants to be so strong and reliable for others but here in your care is where he can let all of that go 🥺 and just break down until you put him together again 🥺

SO MUCH CUDDLING IN THE AFTERCARE

YOU COULDN’T GET OUT OF HIS ARMS IF YOU TRIED

PLS DON’T TRY; JUST LOVINGLY STROKE HIS HAIR AND WHISPER SWEET PRAISES AT HIM 🥺🥺🥺

⩥ MINGI

Dom:

okay so i also get pulled so hard into two very different directions when it comes to dom Mingi askjasdjkdsa

one is Mingi the needy mess

like

maybe he doesn’t even mean to dom you but he’s so desperate for it he just can’t wait and ends up overwhelming you and it’s lowkey kinda clumsy but very sweet and oh god he just wants you so so bad 🥺

BUT THEN THERE IS

Mingi w/ his damn cocky on-stage energy?? and he’s intense and confident and knows what he wants??? (you, ruined)

like idk either way i have many feelings abt dom Mingi being super intense and he will overwhelm you either way, either by accident or by design

just strap in tight bc he wants to hear you ♨_♨

very vocal himself too. i like the thought of him spewing filth at you first but very quickly losing the capacity for any coherent dirty talk

still

you will hear him too OOF

high & whiny or low & raspy? y e s

Sub:

PRINCESS MINGIIIIIII!!!! (♡°▽°♡)

spoil him give him whatever the hell his heart desires!!!!!! again a NOISY MESS!!! tears up easily but doesn’t like to admit he’s crying uwu

gets even more discombobulated than as a dom hehe~

however

much like his buddy Yunho, i don't think Mingi often deliberately tries to misbehave

but he can get a bit sulky sometimes if he feels neglected

or, on the other side of the spectrum, just a touch too confident if he’s gotten too used to you giving him exactly what he wants and starts treating it as a given, or makes lil jokes abt it

it edges against that cockiness again but tbh it’s also lowkey endearing on him as a sub; his blind faith in your devotion to his pleasure

but you may choose to give him a lil reminder of who is actually in charge ♡ denying him a few times until he’s whining and babbling incoherently at you should do the trick perfectly ♡♡♡

don’t be too mean abt it tho :( remember he’s a princess :(((

⩥ WOOYOUNG

Dom:

OKAY SO YES ISAK I’M FULLY W/ YOU ON THE BRAT THING

like i said truly my favourite flavour of dom Wooyoung is a fucking tease of a menace who isn’t so much a dom as a brat who hasn’t been tamed yet

if he’s domming you and you’re in the mood to turn the tables? this man’s switch is flipped in an INSTANT you just gotta yank his hair hard and spew out some filthy degradation and he’s putty in your hands

brace yourself if he’s got you tied up tho lol. he is gonna enjoy himself :3

honestly he should change his home-address bc this man lives w/ his face between your thighs. gets so fucking drunk on you but never so much that he ever stops his teasing

a true edging enthusiast

hope you like bite-marks on your skin lol

and yet…

and yet i have a big soft spot for soft dom Woo too 🥺

who takes care of you after you’ve had a long, frustrating day 🥺

i feel like he could bigtime spoil and pamper his partners if he feels they really need it 🥺 he might still tease you a lil but it’s only to get you out of your head, maybe even just to make you laugh 🥺

Sub:

love a sub Wooyoung who balances a praise and a degradation kink like he’s walking a tightrope uwu

like we all talk abt his degradation kink bc of course we do!! with good reason!!! but have you seen his giggles and smiles when the other members compliment him???

sometimes he doesn’t even know himself what he’s in the mood for today — or so he tells himself. any bratty urges will make themselves known real damn obvious within mere seconds lol

instigator to the max

initiates phone sex w/ you and then hangs up on you just before it Gets Good just to rile you up (this may be a semi-spoiler 👀)

but he loves the combo special where he brats out to his heart’s content first, gets humiliated and/or punished for his trouble, but oh boy then his mood turns and he eats it UP to get praised for being such a good boy now (´꒳`∗)

will beg you to ride his face

(he’ll have you riding his face as a dom too, he just won’t be begging 👀)

⩥ JONGHO

Dom:

so i actually love love love gentle soft dom Jongho 🥺 but i decided to focus on the flip side for this post

hard dom Jongho who has a mean streak and looooooves to tease the fuck out of you. he doesn’t even need to verbally degrade you (tho he might); you hear his cocky chuckle and know exactly what a pathetic mess he thinks you are for him

but gets soft and SUPER ADORABLE in the aftercare??? just imagine this man fucking you within an inch of your life and then he cleans you up after

and gives you that sweet gummy smile while he’s literally wiping his cum off your body w/ a warm cloth???

giggles when you exhaustedly call him a menace or praise him?????

god i just perished

he loves playing it nonchalant too tho. having you between his legs sucking him off, looking down at your teary eyes and swollen lips bobbing up and down his fat cock like he dgaf

don’t let him fool you — watch for how tightly his hands are clenched into fists

Sub:

just wanna spoil & baby him :( def feel Jongho has to be ‘in the mood’ to sub, but then pls just be so soft with him and take care of him and make him feel good :(

he’d generally be a very soft, well-behaved sub;

he feels that if subbing is the role he’s taking on, then submissiveness is the role he’s taking on, youknow it’s almost matter-of-factly for him

THAT BEING SAID; Jongho is still Jongho and won’t keep his mouth shut if he feels you’re doing or saying smth that deserves to be teased abt or made fun of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

your response needs to be a lil calculated;

he doesn’t really enjoy being outright punished or treated as a brat too much. prob feels it’s undignified lol

…unless he’s already super far gone 👀

so the secret here is to pretend you’re letting his teasing slide — until he’s at the fucking brink and then he’ll accept you laying on a lil bit of punishment as payback 👀

he’s not super loud in bed but you’ll get the prettiest lil breathy gasps and moans out of him asjksdjkdsajkdajs

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

Rewriting this but whatever. So you know I like me some commentary YouTube to watch while I drink my tea, try my mightiest to survive or whatever. Well, I'm starting to be worried about the amount of time these people allegedly spend on Twitter and/or Tik Tok.

You'll often hear them bring up how much time they spend just scrolling on social media, or talk about events through the lens of only having learned about them from Twitter arguments or memes. I always thought "thank God that isn't me", but I'm starting to be worried, like... how many people also live like this? I always sort of thought I was in a similar place to these YouTubers who allegedly have a lot of free time, because oftentimes, so do I.

And I certainly don't think I have some sort of moral high ground because tumblr, of all sites, is my go-to social media. Most people would be embarrassed to admit that tumblr is important to them. I actually think I spend too much time on this webbed site/app, it's just... the only other option while I'm sitting on the toilet in this house is to re-re-re-read the two same Garfield comics, so like,

Still. They present doom-scrolling, giving a lot of importance to Twitter drama, thinking Tik Tok shapes the world as this normal thing that everyone does or think. And by virtue of not being in these circles at all, I just can't tell how accurate or inaccurate that is.

It seems that everyone agrees that Twitter makes them miserable, that Twitter users are dicks to each other, and the character limit makes it hard to grasp what someone actually means - and yet they keep using it. All the time. So much of the time. Because they think it's normal, that everybody does it, that this is our lives now.

Due to my personal circumstances, I spend a lot more time online than I wish I did. So what is it that helps me escape thinking Twitter (on which I have an account) is normal socialisation? Don't I spend my free time on the compooter? There are probably many reasons, ways that I am, that cause that. I don't tend to be where the people are. I'm not good at following trends. I'm a contrarian. Still, what do I do with all of my free time?

...Everyday, I make sure I do something creative. Outside of my other obligations and hobbies, of course. Everyday, with few exceptions when needed, I either write, draw, make vocal synth covers. Other times, I busy myself with Wiki editing. Not that that has always been healthy for me, but it's a hobby that's not passive. Sure, I too need to do two things at the same time when one of my activities is passive, like watching a commentary YouTube video. ADHD? Well, I already do everything very fast, I speak too fast, I type too fast, I think too fast, I hate slow-paced anything, I type perfectly coherent sentences at the same time as I listen to you tell me about your day. Tik Tok didn't create that for me - I think I already had something going on, and I've never made a Tik Tok account. Maybe you're just bored.

A lot of my day is spent exercising. Or eating, too. Admiring my dogs. Thinking about my life. Thinking about the stories I make up and wish I could project to other people's brains. Not to mention reading traditional news and learning from political associations I trust. At this point in the post I'm not just thinking about YouTubers anymore, I'm appreciating how I behave myself and why it works for me. I'm sorry, it doesn't matter how much you think "everyone probably knows" about this new Tik Tok drama, I don't want to make an account, people seem really mean on there. Some people also don't have an account because they have demanding jobs or home lives. In my case, I think I have better hobbies, even though some of them are not much. I'm not one of these visual artists who will wow you, I can't write my own music... I just want to do these things nonetheless.

[butt-watch]

Deltarune Chapter 2 Theory

DELTARUNE SPOILERS AHEAD

I'll put under a read more, but just in case it doesn't work. Here's your warning to block "#delatrune spoilers" or scroll really fast.

Spoilers for end game and bonus boss, and a long ass dump of all the ideas I have in my head before I forget them. So, sorry if I got anything wrong or it's a mess.

I've seen a lot of theories flying around, but haven't seen this one yet. (Sorry if it is already out there and I just haven't seen it, I'm sure somebody will already have put it together better than me.) This is just some funky ideas I've been throwing around, because I'll be honest here, I love the main 3 so much, and would be sad to see any of them turn out to be evil like so many theories are suggesting.

Maybe I'm just trying to be optimistic, maybe it's the weird nb kid deep inside me latching onto a kindred spirit, maybe I'm on to something.

So here's the thing. I don't believe Kris is the knight.

I know, I know, but stay with me here.

There's no denying that at the end of the chapter, Kris created a new fountain, and with it, likely a new dark world. But I'd like to argue, this is the first one they've created. My evidence is shaky, but I think there's something there that could blossom.

I'll start off with the simple fact that multiple characters who have met the knight, Spades King especially, didn't recognise Kris at all, and you would have thought they'd recognise the person who's been feeding them so much information. You do also have a couple of dialogue options with the king this time, and definitely with the Queen, so it seems strange that neither of them recognise the voice of their Knight in shining armour.

This is where stuff starts to get a bit flaky, but also, a lot more intriguing.

At the end of the chapter Kris opened a fountain, and the night before, we saw Kris remove the soul inside them and brandish their knife. Assuming that Kris spent that time without the soul creating a fountain is a fair assumption to make, and I think it's possible that was Kris's intention, perhaps they have some connection to the knight, and knew how the fountains could be opened. But, they were missing one important ingredient.

In Chapter 2 we get an explanation from the Queen about how dark fountains are created, and with it a word that has largely been missing from Deltarune.

That's right, good old Determination.

Fountains are created when a determined Lightner plunges a sharp object into the ground. And here's where the theory comes in. I believe prior to the end of chapter 2, Kris didn't have Determination. Throughout the game, they've been filled with various sources of power, from Fluffy Boys and Mean Girls, to Cat signs. But at every save point we've been missing the signature Determination.

The closest we get is at the end of Chapter 2, just before the fight against the queen, when "a certain power" is alluded to.

And that lack of Determination, would have made opening the fountain impossible for them, after all, Queen spent the whole game building Noelle's determination high enough to open a new fountain. A smidge of determination doesn't seem to cut it.

So how did Kris get the determination?

Through the good old power of Friendship. Through the trials with their new friends, Kris has gained determination, even without the soul inhabiting them. And even though that started as half a joke (only half), whilst writing this post and trying to find screencaps, for the next section, I realised it's actually more likely than I suspected.

And that brings me to everyone's new favourite:

Spamton. During his dialogue and initial boss fight he offers a deal, rewarding Kris with [[Hyperlink Blocked]] if they accept. As far as I'm aware you're forced to accept the deal. (If anyone else tolerated more than a few minutes of smashing no deal like I did and managed to get a different outcome, kudos to your perseverance.)

What is [[Hyperlink Blocked]]? Well I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this. I believe it may well be Determination or something similar.

During the initial confrontation, Spamton refers to the players Soul as [[HeartShapedObject]].

But prior to the boss fight against Spamton NEO, he has no qualms about saying SOUL.

I've seen a lot of people theorising Spamton is being censored, and I agree that definitely seems to be the case. From a meta standpoint though I think it's interesting that the [[Hyperlink Blocked]] he mentioned so much in his first encounter doesn't seem to be mentioned at all, now the he has slightly more freedom of speech. I personally believe it's because revealing whatever Spamton was offering would have given too much away.

So how does this come back to the power of friendship? Well, upon defeating Spamton, whether through ACTing or beating the crap out of him, he realises the real treasure was the friends we made along the way.

He suggests that together, the three of them could "break their own strings"

Following the fight, there's a moment, where Susie notices that Kris is acting out of sorts. Whichever option you choose, it's obvious that Kris is shaken by the event, even going as far as to yell the answer if you let them admit how they're feeling.

The similarity to Kris's own situation, being puppeted by the player is a valid reason for the response. Whatever shook them did so with enough effect that the fear showed despite the players control. Either that, or Kris has something they didn't have, more control. More... Determination to overcome the soul.

That last part is reaching a little, which is saying something, given the amount of shaky evidence presented in this post, so I want to wrap this up mostly with something slightly unrelated, but still a Kris theory.

Why do they open the fountain?

There are a lot of theories, about being a pawn for Gaster, being an asshole, etc.

I'd like to think Kris is just a weird kid who's gotten caught up in a mess they don't really understand. They created a scenario where Susie would be forced to stay the night, and opened up a new dark world, that Susie, their friend, expressed a want for before they left the dark world.

A place where they could get away from their lives for a little while and have more adventures together. And I can understand the reasoning, opening a new fountain isn't bad, I mean, as long as they close it at the end, nobody gets hurt and they have more memories. Where's the harm in that? Right?

As much as Kris obviously wishes to be free of the soul's control, that very soul has helped them make real friends. It's taken them on adventures and well.

Somebody had to let it out before the morning.

So to summarise, the strongest power known to man is a group of lonely teenagers, if you run through a peaceful game murdering everything and then blame a video game character for the decision you made, I'll kick your ass, and I guess I'm a Kris stan now, oh god.

[thelonesomequeen]

Can this anon tell us on details how they managed to stay away? I want a way out but I cant// Me again! (I'm clearly failing at staying away from Tumblr lol but I knew people would respond to my original post so here I am) Gonna tell you how I did it. I did this in January -

I'm lucky enough to have multiple devices (phone, laptop, iPad). I deleted all social media apps from my phone and only allow myself to use them on my iPad. That changed my time spent online significantly. Especially because I don't take my iPad when I go out anywhere so I wasn't finding myself scrolling mindlessly on my phone when I was out. It helped me become more present in my life. At first it was super weird, I kept automatically unlocking my phone and scrolling to where the apps used to be. I also felt a little bit out of touch with reality for a while, I didn't feel like I knew what was going on in the world. I still have twitter on my phone because I use that for my regular news and I never spent too much time on that one anyway

I blocked websites I was using as well (LSA, Discord, Reddit, Tumblr, CDAN etc) changed my settings on my phone and iPad to "limit adult websites" (under Screen Time > Content & Privacy Restrictions > Content Restrictions > Web Content on the iPhone) and you can add "never allow" so any time I found myself habitually typing in those websites, it would come up as blocked. You can always unblock them but it at least gave me a pause to be like "wait, is this how I want to spend my time?"

Time limits on my iPad. I can't remember how I did it but you can add time limits for things. I'm not sure if it is with the apps or just websites but the websites I put a time limit on per day and when it expired, it expired (you can extend also)

I blocked anyone on IG or Twitter that wasn't serving my goal of cleansing. The trio, Lexniko, Tinx (cause I found her content was all over my page and I find what she pushes toxic). Any time I would see a post on my for you page that would be pushing Selena and Chris, I'd block them etc. I just didn't need that energy on my IG. I started following more body positive accounts and those good news account, cute animal accounts etc and steered away from celebrity stuff. I even blocked OK Magazine after they posted some fake news article cause I was like "why do I need to see this rubbish, there's enough fake news in this world." Now my for you page is baby goats mostly and it's wonderful lol.

I went extreme. And because I cut off so much, I noticed just how much of my day was being consumed by all of this. I sometimes find myself slipping back into the mindless scrolling if I've been stressed or there was nothing else to do but on the whole, the scrolling lasts for 15 mins instead of hours. And I do it and then I'm done for the day.

It's also helped me pull myself out of it and see just how ridiculous a lot of this stuff is. I'll come on and see someone post about a like or a follow and it doesn't affect me. I just have realized just how unimportant social media is in the grand scheme of things and I just roll my eyes like "come on, this isn't even logical". Which 6 months ago, I was one of the people who was like oh but it does mean something. So it helped me get back to reality a little bit.

I'm not saying you have to stop but I will say, it has really really changed my life for the BETTER. I am so much more present. I didn't realize just how much I was NOT living because I was so sucked into this stuff. And I started it because during the pandemic, I was stuck inside, like we all were, and I just needed something to do and then it spiraled. And now, I get to enjoy the content from Chris for what it is - a cute dodger pic or a cool trailer, fun interviews upcoming for the press tour and it has made consuming his content back to how it should be, you know?

I hope this helps someone! It was difficult, it really was, but I'm so glad I powered through that "withdrawal" stage. And the fact that it was so difficult to stop in the beginning made me see how toxic it was.

Thanks for coming back to share! 🦎