#which is great! fuck yes i dont have to make myself look stupid in defending the cast members stuck in a shitshow

[thewhizzyhead]

you know my dudes, with mean girls the musical being a show i willingly go to the trenches for in defending how much I find it genuinely fun even with the objective acknowledgment of its many many flaws, I am genuinely surprised that people,,,are actually fucking liking the movie adaptation of this show,,,and for me that's great cause now I don't have to go through all out war in defense of this silly flawed show and its talented cast members woo a break!

[thewalkingdead-fan101]

In this hell Daryl Dixon X Reader part 13/??

Hey guys, welcome to part 13! I hope that it measures up to the previous chapters, I hope you enjoy reading it! :) 

Warnings- Blood, Gore, General walking dead depictions, slow burn, swearing, physical harm, insinuated abuse, Nightmares, Angst.

The second Glenn mentioned Randall’s group the room had been tense. 

I could feel the rage emitting from Daryl as he seethed silently.

Shane stood angrily looking out of the window, his back moving with each harsh breath he took. 

Rick sat on the end of the bed, looking up to where Glenn stood by the door, looking at the ground. 

“It’s not Glenn’s fault.” I spoke softly, wincing as Hershel continued inspecting my leg. 

“How the hell ain’t it?” Daryl argued, stepping forward. “He took you with him!” He continued, throwing his hand in the air. “He didn’t know I was in the car!” I argued.

“What?”

“I didn’t want him to go alone, I had a feeling that something wasn’t right and I thought it’d be better if he had back up!” “You did what?” Shane snapped his head around, striding to the bed, causing Rick to stand between us both.

“You snuck off?!” Shane called.

“Shane, you need to calm down.” Rick spoke, pushing him back softly.

“Rick. Get him out of here.” Hershel spoke.

“Get me out of here?” Shane scoffed. “She’s my sister man.” He shook his head, crossing his arms.  “Shane. Leave.” Rick spoke, defending hershel. 

My brother scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief, angrily moving to the door, ripping it open and slamming it shut. 

I flinched as the wooden door harshly collided with the frame.

“I can’t believe you were stupid enough to go.” Daryl muttered.  “Daryl-“ “Nah, I’m done talking.” He shook his head, opening the door and leaving the room. 

I sighed as the door closed, looking over to Rick who was looking at Glenn. 

“We need to talk about what happened out there. I need to hear it from you.” Rick nodded to Glenn.

Rick looked over to me and smiled softly. 

“I’ll come talk to you later, just rest up, let Hershel take care of you.”

I nodded my head, watching as the two men walked out.

Patricia continued to gently wipe the spot from my face, neck and arms. 

“Let’s get you in the shower honey.” Patricia smiled softly, helping me stand.

She led me to the bathroom, turning on the faucet, making the temperature mildly warm. 

“I’ll bring up a change of clothes for you, then we will have Hershel fix you up.” She spoke gently, as she shut the door behind her. I scrubbed the soot and the dirt from my body, making quick work of my hair.

The water ran dark red as i washed the mans blood from it, flakes of ash melting into the water.

I shut off the faucet, stepping out and wrapping myself in a towel.

A soft knock echoed through the room.

“Come in.” I spoke, watching as the door slightly opened. 

Patricia smiled gently as she handed me some clothes, a pair of grey cotton shorts along with some underwear and a navy blue shirt. “They’re from Maggie.” She looked down.

“Thank you.” I smiled softly as she left.

Pulling on the clothes I walked out of the bathroom, towel in my hand.

“Let me throw this on the line.” Patricia quickly took the towel and left the room.

Hershel looked up and cleared his throat, motioning for me to sit down. 

“You have second degree burns on your leg.” He paused, watching intently as I glanced down at my leg.

I didn’t realise the extent of the burn. 

The skin was brightly red, blisters scattered around the slightly charred areas. 

I watched as Hershel applied topical antibiotic ointment.

“Don’t touch it unless you are applying more of this to it.” He raised the tube. “When you goto bed make sure you bandage it, try to wear loose pants, shorts if possible.” “And the blist-“ “Don’t pop them.” He cut me off. 

He looked up to my arm, moving to look behind the gauze.

“What happened to your arm?”  “We were shot at. It’s just a flesh wound.” I nodded softly. “Did Glenn patch you up?”  “Yeah, when we got back to the car.” “He did a decent job.” He chuckled softly as he took a damp cloth, wiping over my arm.

I hissed as the fabric caught on the tender skin.

Hershel took away the cloth and grabbed another gauze, taping it to my arm.

“I think it’s for the best that you stay on the property from now on.” Hershel spoke, packing up the medical supplies he had out, packing up and leaving.

I sighed and stepped out of the room after Hershel,  my eyes instantly meeting Maggie’s. 

She put her head down, running up the stairs, avoiding me, which felt more painful than the flesh wound I was sporting.

I moved from the house and made my way to my tent, hoping to run into Daryl.

Day Three

The night was long, Daryl hadn’t come to our tent.

I was plagued by nightmares.

The moment I would close my eyes, visions from the day before would haunt me as I chased sleep.

Pictures of a dirty grin, the feeling of his tongue against the skin of my cheek burned into my brain would surface.

My brain producing a mortifying string of events that could’ve occurred if it weren’t for Glenn.

Since the fourth nightmare, I’d been huddled in the corner of the bed, knees cradled to my chest as I blankly stare at the blanket covering my feet in front of me.

The tent began to softly glow, warmth spreading through the fabric as the sun rose. Birds in the distance chirping as though it were a Disney movie.

My hand moved to my eyes, rubbing them softly before resuming to rest atop my knees, holding my chin.

I don’t know how long I have been positioned in the bed, or how long it has been since the sun rose, but judging by the hushed whispers coming towards the tent it didn’t take me long to realise that it’d been long enough for me to miss breakfast.

“Dale, im sure she is fine.” Andrea stated, her shadow moving closer to the tent.

“If im wrong, great. We will leave her be.” Dale responded. “Just go in and check.” “Why don’t you?” The asked. “Right.”

The door opened as Andrea stepped in. 

I glanced over to the blonde, moving my eyes back to their position on the blanket.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Andrea asked quietly, kneeling down, gently placing a hand on my knee.

I looked over to Andrea, who intently stared at me, waiting for me to respond.

“(Y/n)?” She asked again.

“Im okay.” I whispered.

“You didn’t come to breakfast.” She stated, lightly shaking my knee.

“I didn’t realise the time. Sorry.” I whispered. “Lets get you up.” She smiled.

Andrea helped me stand. “I just need to take this off.” I motioned to my leg.

She nodded, letting me take the bandage off of my leg, slipping on my shoes, following her from my tent.

As soon as I made it out of my tent, I looked over to Dale who looked shocked.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “Yeah, im fine, just tired.” “I can see that.” He stated, looking at me worriedly.

“Come on, let’s get you some breakfast.” Andrea took my wrist in her hand, leading me toward the camp.

As we made it to the group, everyone stopped what they were doing, looking over to see us walk towards them.

Daryl was sitting with his back facing me, Rick and Lori, by each others side as Carl sat at Loris feet, staring at my leg.

Shane made his way over to us, shoving his arm in front of my face, handing me a small bowl of scrambled eggs.

“Sit. Eat.” He nodded to the camping chair he had been using.

I nodded silently and picked at the eggs, feeling eyes burning into me, looking up to see Shane, Rick and Lori watching me.

They all looked back to each other and nodded, Rick standing and slowly walking over as if I were an animal. 

I continued to eat the eggs as I waited for Rick.

“(Y/n), can we talk for a minute?”

“Uh, yeah.” I nodded, standing and following him away from the group. “We’ve been talking.” “Who is we?” I asked crossing my arms, looking down at my shoes. “We have as a group.” “Yes?” I asked, playing with a rock that was under my shoe. “We- we’ve come up with the decision to have someone stay with you for a little bit.” 

I stopped playing with the rock, taking a moment before looking up to see Rick.

“What do you mean ‘have someone stay with me’?” I asked, as he shifted uncomfortably.

He looked around for a moment, bringing his arm up to scratch the back of his neck.

“We thought that for the time being, after yesterday that we would-“ “Give me a damn babysitter?” I snapped. “No-“ “I see, your wife takes a car out on a rescue mission to find you, crashes it and is let off the hook!” “(Y/n)-“ “But when I sneak into a car to go on a run with someone else to watch their back, another group was there and im in need of a babysitter?” I scoffed.

“This shit is a double standard.” I exclaimed, gesturing with my hands towards where Lori was sitting, watching the conversation.

More eyes had began watching Rick and I at this point.

“Its not like that at all-“ “This is fucking ridiculous.” I shook my head.

Rick gently reached out to place a hand on my arm.

When his skin contacted with my own I pulled back. “Dont fucking touch me.” I turned away, moving to leave.

I stopped momentarily, turning to face him again.

“Im going to my tent, you know, just so you can tell my babysitter where to find me.” I waved my hand in the air, making my way to the tent.

By the time I reached my tent, my anger had turned into annoyance, and I just wanted to throw things at this point.

I sat on one of the fallen stones, putting my head in my hands, trying to calm down my breathing.

I heard footsteps behind me, and I quickly stood, turning to see Dale.

My forced smile dropped, one reason being that it wasn’t Daryl, the other reason being that Dale was appointed my babysitter, knowing that I couldn’t take anything out on him.

“You don’t need to jump for joy, but I didn’t think my company was that bad.” Dale softly joked, testing the water.

“I’m sorry Dale, I’m sorry that you have to do this.” “Do what?” He turned his head to the side.

“Babysit me.” “I don’t know what Rick told you, but he did tell me that I was to make sure you were safe.” “You don’t need to make me feel better Dale.” “That isn’t what im trying to do.” He paused.

I looked to the ground.

“Lets go for a walk?” He asked.

“Am I allowed to?” I looked up. “If im your, what did you call it?” “Babysitter.” “Right, if im your babysitter, I’m sure, we can go for a walk.” He joked.

I laughed softly with the older man as he nodded his head for me to follow him.

Dale and I had walked aimlessly around the farm for a few hours in silence.

“Why did you do it?” Dale broke the silence.

“Why’d I do what?” “Sneak off.” “Oh, I-uh, I knew that Glenn didn’t want anyone to go with him.” I began, looking at Dale.

“And I knew that if I’d have asked anyone else, they would’ve told me no.” “Why do you think that is?”

“Because they all think I can’t handle myself out there.” Dale raised his brow as I said it. “And I can, I know I can hold my own.” “Its not that we don’t think you can handle your own.” He sighed, stopping shaking his head slightly, hands raised as his bucket hat slightly falling a little more over his forehead.

“There is another group out there, we know what you’re capable of, it’s them that we don’t know of.” “We didn’t know that they were going to be there.” “I know that, we all do.” He tried to reason.

“It was impossible for anyone to know, so why am I being punished?” “You aren’t being punished.”

“You need to see that it could’ve been much worse than some burns on your legs.” “I know that I’m lucky that I only got burned, that I didn’t die out there. But I couldn’t have just let Glenn go alone.” Dale nodded, but kept quiet despite what was being said in his mind.

I sighed, closing my eyes briefly before leaning against a tree.

“Hey, are you alright?” “Yeah, im fine, sorry.” I paused. “I just uh, I need a minute.” I continued. 

“Come here.” He stated worriedly, placing a hand on each of my shoulders, guiding me to take a seat on a nearby log.

“Whats wrong? Are you alright?” “Yeah, im just tired.” I shook my head.

“Fatigue is common in early stages of pregnancy, before Irma and I lost our baby, she was extremely fatigued, she couldn’t get out of bed most days.” His eyes lit up whenever he would talk about his late wife.

“On those days she would be suffering restless leg syndrome too, so I can help you with some tips that helped calm her down.”

My mind wandered to my nightmares, knowing that exhaustion was already on the table, but it had nothing to do with the exhaustion I was facing.

“Id love that, thank you.” I smiled softly.

“Ill take you to your tent, you can have a sleep.”

“Dale, you don-“ “Come on, let’s get you to sleep.” He smiled, helping me up and walking with me to the tent.

When we made it to my tent, I saw Daryl through the fabric of the door, duffel bag in hand as he shoved countless items of his into it.

The sight made my stomach drop, my heart felt like it was in my throat.

“Ill give you a minute.” Dale whispered, backing away, staying at a distance.

I took a few steps towards the tent, Daryl turning around and making eye contact with me.

Turning back around and continuing to fill up his duffle.

“I’m sorry.” I spoke softly. I waited for him to respond, only for him to grunt, ignoring me.

“I know you are mad, and you have every right to be, just please. Don’t leave.” I spoke, reaching to place a hand on his shoulder, but deciding against it, bringing my hand down and wringing them together.

It felt as though the duffle bag was a bottomless pit at this point.

Daryl turned around, flinging the duffle over his shoulder, and stepping around me.

“Daryl, I really am sorry. Please, can we talk?” Daryl stopped in the doorway. “We ain’t got nothing to talk about.” He muttered, leaving.

I sat on the bed, a stray tear rolling down my cheek.

The door opened and in my peripheral vision I could see Dale standing, waiting for me to respond to his presence.

“I fucked up Dale.” I shook my head. “Hey, it’s okay.” Dale stated softly, patting my shoulder as he stood in front of me.

“It’ll all be okay, you hear me?” He spoke again.

I looked up at Dale and more tears appeared.

“I really did it this time.” “Come on now, you know how he is. He will come around. Give him time.” He soothed me.

“Stop crying, you’ll be fine.” He smiled.

I sniffled slightly, wiping my eyes with the back of my hands.

“Im sorry, it’s these hormones.” I chuckled softly.

“I get it, I was lucky, Irma wasn’t all that emotional. She was always happy, except if she could smell meat cooking.” He joked lightly, making me laugh.

“There you go. That did it.” He smiled.

“I think you should try to get some rest.” Dale nodded to the bed, motioning for me to lay down.

“Thank you Dale, for today.” “Dont mention it. Get some rest, I’ll get you when dinners ready.” “Thank you, but-“ “No buts.”

Dale left the tent, and once again I was stuck with my own thoughts.

I laid in bed, staring at the tent’s ceiling, watching as the shadow of the leaves danced in the wind.

Seconds had bled into minutes, and minutes had evolved to hours.

The shadows weren’t as vibrant against the suns now much more dull shine.

I lightly pulled up my shirt and rested my hand on my abdomen, tapping it lightly with my fingers. “Your mom really messed up bean.” I spoke softly, fingers creating a rhythm against the skin.

Day four

Exhaustion had settled in overnight.

My hand still resting on my abdomen, lightly tracing shapes as I watched the sun rise on the fabric above me.

Last night, much like the one before I chased sleep, nightmares from the fire, lucky to get maybe a full ten minutes in over both nights.

I sat up, glancing around the tent, wondering if I should leave the tent or wallow in my self pity for the day.

My answer came from a rumble in my stomach.

Moving my legs over the edge of the low sitting bed, I stood, taking off the bandage on my leg, the irritation slightly fading from red to pink, I applied some ointment to it before leaving it be.

I changed into a new pair of shorts, pulling over a t-shirt.

Looking down, I notice the shirt as one of Daryls.

I reach down and grab the hem of the shirt and lift it over my head, throwing it onto the bed, picking up another shirt and putting it on.

I look at the shirt that was wadded up on the bed and sighed, picking it up and holding it to my face, inhaling Daryls scent.

I dropped it back onto the bed and walked out of the tent, making my way quietly over to the camp.

The camp was still quiet, signalling that everyone was still asleep.

I took an apple from a basket that was sitting on the table near the RV, sitting down and taking a bite in the slight breeze, watching for the others.

I sat playing with the core of the apple when the door to the RV opened, watching as Dale stepped out.

He looked over to me, and tilted his head slightly.

“Getting slow there Dale, im up before you for a change.” I joked lightly as he shut the door. “It doesn’t count if you don’t sleep.” He spoke sternly, coming over to examine me. “Couldn’t sleep?” He asked.

I shook my head as looked down. “Want talk about it?” He asked softly. “No, I can’t.” I shook my head.

Dale nodded in response and sat next to me, taking an apple and eating it.

It wasn’t long until we were joined by the others, one by one they started piling out of their tents.

Lori looked over to me wearily, before looking over to her husband, who softly smiled at me.

I nodded towards Rick, who nodded back, turning to kiss his wife.

And of course, wherever Lori was, Shane wasn’t too far away.

Andrea was standing next to Shane, sparking up a conversation with him as he brushed her off.

Carol was making her way to the fire, to cook eggs or porridge sachets that Glenn had found before the collapse.

She smiled softly at me as she walked past me, smiling as she set up near the fire pit.

I heard footsteps and I looked over to see Daryl walking towards the group.

He stopped momentarily, staring at my face, fighting with himself between coming over and walking away, choosing the latter.

I felt a small touch to my arm and turned to be met with Dales hand.

“He will come around.” He nodded softly.

I stood up, moving around the table and walking back towards my tent. “Hey, where are you going?” Shane called out.

I raised my hand and waved him off as I left the group.

I could hear rushed footsteps behind me as I walked.

“Ill be okay on my own Dale.” I smiled softly. “I know that but-“ “But you don’t want to leave your ‘post’?” 

“No, it’s not like that.” “You can go and eat breakfast Dale. I won’t steal a car.” I turned, promising the elder man.

Dale stood, unsure of what to do.

“If you’re that worried about leaving me alone, how about I go and sit with Beth?”

“I may as well leave you alone.” He spoke, eyes widening as the words left his mouth.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ “Dale, it’s okay.” I assured him, patting his shoulder to try and stop his guilty conscience.

“I mean you have a point.” I continued a small chuckle on my lips.

“You need to eat, so, you go back to everyone, eat something and I’ll meet you at the farmhouse.”

“I don’t know.” “Look, you can escort me to the house, and make sure that im with someone before leaving.”

“Okay.” He nodded, motioning for me to follow him.

The walk to the house didn’t take long, Maggie had been standing on the front porch, looking over to the camp.

I glanced over to see Glenn sitting alone on a camping chair, kicking the dust under his shoe.

I looked back to Maggie, knowing the fear, the pain behind her eyes.

“Give me a moment.” Dale smiled.

Dale took a step forward, Maggie looking from Glenn to the two of us.

Maggie glanced at me, but quickly tore her attention to Dale.

The two stepped aside, talking in hushed whispers, occasionally glancing at me.

Maggie nodded, and Dale smiled, walking back over to me.

“I’m not feeling the best today, Maggie has offered to stay with you for the day.” He softly patted my shoulder.

“What?” “Yeah, I’m going to lay down, I really don’t feel like myself.” He wandered off towards the camp.

“Im sorry Maggie, I didn’t think he would pawn me off-“ “I offered.” She was quick to speak.

“I needed to talk to you about the other day, and I haven’t known how too.” She sighed.

“How’s Beth?” I asked. “She is better, the colour is coming back in her face.” She smiled softly. “Do you want to come see her?” She asked. “Can I?” “Of course.” She nodded, taking my hand in hers and taking me upstairs to see Beth.

When we entered the room, as Maggie said, Beth’s face had more colour in it than it did two days before.

Bath was laying on her back, a nasal tube fed through her nose, being held in place by tape.

She was beginning to blink more and be more responsive.

“She is responding to touch, she squeezes my hand now.” Maggie smiled.

“Im glad.” I smiled softly, as Patricia walked into the room, smiling as she seen me.

“Your leg, its healing well.” She grinned. “Come on.” Maggie nodded her head, pulling me to follow her again.

Once we made it out of the door, which Maggie pushed open with a bang, the group looked over to us.

“Where are we going?” I asked as Maggie ran ahead of me, running after her. “Trust me.” She smiled softly, turning back.

Maggie bee-lined to the stable and I followed.

I could hear the nickering and the whinnying as I entered the stable.

I walked over to Betsy, rubbing my hand against her snout, smiling as he blew air from her nostrils.

A clutter behind me made me jump, I turned to see Maggie lifting one of the saddles, and resting it on Nelly’s gate, opening it and leading the horse out.

She saddled Nelly and climbed on the back of her.

“You coming?” She asked, extending her hand out for me to take. I smiled and took her hand, moving to climb up onto Nelly’s back.

Maggie began to walk out of the stable, gradually picking up speed.

“Hey!” 

I turned my head to see Shane and Daryl looking over to the two of us on the horse.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Daryl yelled. “(Y/n)! Get down from there!” Daryl began to walk towards the barn. “Hold on.” Maggie looked back and smiled. “What the hell?” He yelled as he began to run to the stables.

Maggie flicked the reins, and squeezed nelly’s sides, signalling for her to speed up.

“Stop!” He yelled.

My arms tightly wrapped around Maggies middle, the wind whipping my hair from my face.

For the first time since the collapse, I felt free. 

The wind hitting my face, my hair flowing behind me as we raced through the path Maggie had taken me down two days ago.

Maggie signalled for Nelly to slow down.

The horse began to slow down from a gallop, to a trot down to a walk.

“You okay?” Maggie asked, slightly looking back. “Yeah.” I paused. “My ass is sore though.” I laughed.

Maggie let out a laugh as she walked Nelly over to the waters edge, climbing down and hitching her.

Maggie extended her hand for me to take, helping me climb down as we walked over to the water.

Maggie stopped and sat in the grass.

“Sit with me.” She smiled up at me.

I nodded and sat down next to her, crossing my legs facing her.

“Lets talk.” “Dale asked you to do this didn’t he?” I asked looking down. “He mentioned that you weren’t talking to anyone.” She started. “He also said that you aren’t sleeping, what’s going on?” She asked. I sighed, looking down.

“I can’t sleep without Daryl.” I confessed. “And normally that’d be all but-“ “But?” “Ive been having nightmares.” I paused, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“Ive been having nightmares about the run, the collapse.” My cheat began to rise heavily.

“What happened?” Maggie asked, scooting closer to me, putting her hand on my back and rubbing circles. “After the collapse, after I got out..” I took a deep breath. “There was this man. He grabbed me, he had intentions, and I fought him and ran.”

I looked over to Maggie, to see her face had slightly fallen as I told the story.

“He caught up. Had me against a wall, he had his tongue on my face.” I shook my head in disgust. “If it weren’t for Glenn, it would’ve been worse.” I finished. “Glenn saved you?” Maggie asked, I nodded.

“Ive been having nightmares about what could’ve happened, and I can’t close my eyes without seeing him, without his breath invading my senses.”

“Glenn told me that there were others, talking about what they were going to do with me.” I closed my eyes. “(Y/n), I am so sorry.” “What are you sorry for?” “I practically asked you to go so Glenn wasn’t alone.” 

“Dont blame yourself for my own actions.” I paused looking into Maggies eyes, putting my hands on her shoulder.

“I’m okay Maggie, I went on my own accord and i’m glad that I went, because If I didn’t who knows, what could’ve happened to Glenn.” “I heard Rick and daddy talking about that, Thank you for saving him.” “I only did what I had to do.” I smiled softly as she shared a soft smile with me.

Maggie took a breath, looking over the water.

Birds in the distance, making the silence between the two of us bearable.

“Are you guys talking yet?” I asked.

Maggie shook her head, placing a hand over her forehead.

“He changed since he went to find daddy.” She began.

“When he came back he blames me for freezing, he says that I got into his head.”

“How did you get into his head?” “I told him I loved him.” She sighed.

“And do you?” I asked, already knowing the answer. “Of course I do, but it was going so well. I just don’t know why it is like this.” “Because, Glenn didn’t have anyone before you, not in the group, he has to adapt to this.” I paused. “Just give him time.”

She nodded her head, smiling softly.

“Do you hear that?” Maggie asked, turning her head to look over her shoulder.

I looked at her confusedly, she held her hand up.

“Listen.”

I did what Maggie told me, and listened. The sound of hooves hitting the ground grew closer. Maggie stood, reaching down to help me up, looking in the direction of the hooves.

Through the trees, I could see a familiar light bay coat.

“Betsy?” I asked softly, looking at Maggie.

Betsy broke the tree line, and I stopped breathing when I realised that she wasn’t alone.

Daryl signalled for her to slow down, climbing down and walked towards me in a wrathful stride.

“What the hell was that?” He called, getting closer. “Huh?” He asked. “Daryl-“ Maggie tried to talk. “Nah, I ain’t here for you.” He shook his head, pointing to Maggie. “Get outta here.” He sneered at her.

“No, Im not leaving you with her.” Maggie argued. “Maggie, it’s okay.” I whispered, nodding my head.

She looked at me for a moment before sighing. “Fine. If you hurt her, I swear to god.” She muttered, getting in his face.

I watched as Maggie unhitched Nelly and climbed onto her.

Maggie’s face shared one last look of concern, before looking at me, nodding in acceptance as I nodded for her to go.

I looked over to Daryl who was watching Maggie ride off.

The air was thick with tension as his eyes averted to me.

Daryl began to pace, eyes not leaving me as he began to flatten the grass beneath his feet.

The silence was making my head hurt, my heart pounding against my chest as it filled with anxiety.

“Yell at me.” I shakily spoke.

Daryl looked at me, eyes hard.

“Yell at me, scream at me.” I nodded, pausing. “Just please say something, get it over with because I can’t handle the silence anymore Daryl.” I sighed, looking down at my wringing hands.

“What the hell are ya’ playing at?” He finally spoke. “Ya’ go out and almost get yourself killed? Now ya’ runnin’ off on the back of a horse with Maggie?” He spat, throwing his hands in the air. Daryl stopped pacing momentarily, staring at me.

“I didn’t know if ya’ were dead!” He yelled, moving closer to me. I looked up to meet his eyes, the eyes I fell in love with full of anger.

His eyes were watering, his jaw clenched as his chest continued to heavily rise and fall with each breath he took.

I reached out for him, placing my hand on his bicep. He snatched it from my touch as if it burnt him. I pulled my hand back, and crossed my arms, watching how he began to pace once more.

I moved to speak, but Daryl cut me off.

“I went looking for you!” “I went to the highway, you weren’t there! I drove into town, you weren’t there!” “I looked everywhere and you weren’t there!” He yelled as he pointed to the ground. “When I saw you in that car, I was relieved.” He paused. “Then I realised you were covered in shit.” “I thought you were almost dead!” He yelled.

“You’re angry.” I spoke calmly as he snapped his head around to look at me. “And I don’t blame you.” “When you’re out there, I get so worried, and I hate not knowing if you’re okay.” I paused. “Not knowing if you’ll come home.” “I should’ve told you.” I looked up.

Daryl’s eyes softened briefly, quickly returning to their angry glare.

“But I didn’t, I didn’t tell you because I know that you would have made me stay.” “If I had stayed here Daryl, Glenn could’ve died.” I finished. “And?” He scoffed as if it didn’t matter. “Really? ‘And?’” I asked, my blood slowly starting to simmer. “Glenn could’ve died out there!” “It wouldn’t have been you!” “If it weren’t for Glenn Daryl, I could’ve died!”

“If you didn’t go in the first place you would’ve been fine!” he yelled. “Glenn is our friend! He is our family Daryl!”  “He ain’t shit to me!” He yelled, pointing in the direction of the farm.

I raised my brow and scoffed, enraging Daryl more. I moved closer to Daryl, moving to poke him in the chest.

“If it weren’t for Glenn, Id be gone.” “I could’ve been dead on the street, or taken to their camp and god knows what else.” “If it weren’t for Glenn, Lori and Carl wouldn’t have Rick back.” “Glenn may not mean ‘shit’ to you, but he has done so much for this group. Myself included, and you..”

“I wasn’t going to let him go out there alone, if it was you going out there I would’ve done the exact same thing.” I made sure to look into his eyes as tears threatened to spill out of my own.

My heart felt as though it was going to explode through my chest, my stomach filled with anxiety as my tears began to slowly fall.

I took a step back and put a hand over my face, groaning as I tilted my head back. These dumbass hormones.

“You can be mad at me all you want, but I need you.” I looked at him. Daryl carefully watched me, concern instead of anger crossing his features.

“I am so tired.” My voice broke as I sighed. “I am a pregnant, hormonal, emotional wreck Daryl, you aren’t talking to me. I haven’t slept in two nights because I can’t sleep without you. Whenever I manage to close my eyes, I’m plagued by nightmares.” He took a step towards me, gently reaching out.

“I did what I thought was right.” I swallowed. “And im sorry.” My composure broke, tears cascading down my cheeks, sobs emitting from my chest.

I felt his chest crash against me and his arms wrapping around me as he buried his face into my hair, kissing the top of my head softly.

His arms gently squeezed me as I cried into his chest, my hands gripping the back of his shirt as I pulled him closer, terrified of the absence of his body.

“Shh, i got ya.” He mumbled against my hair. “Im sorry.” I sniffled into his chest, Daryls chin moving against my scalp as he shook his head no.

“Don’t.” He whispered.

I felt Daryl pull away, and I held on tighter.

“Come on.” He gently pushed me off of him, looking down at me, grabbing my hand and leading me to Betsy.

Without warning Daryl lifted me onto the horse, waiting for me to get comfortable, swinging my leg to straddle her.

Daryl lifted himself onto Betsy, his arms either side of me, his left hand resting on my stomach as he gently kissed behind my ear. His legs signalled for Betsy to move, and she began to walk back to the farm.

Maggie was pacing around the stables by the time we got back. Relief washing over her face when she saw the two of us.

A small smile washed over her face as she noticed where Daryls hand had been sitting.

As soon as Betsy stopped, Daryl climbed down, reaching up to lift me off of her.

Once my feet were planted on the ground, Daryl moved his hands from my hips.

“Ill unsaddle her.” Maggie spoke as Daryl moved to take Betsy inside. “Go.” She nodded to Daryl as she led Betsy into the stables.

Daryls hand reached down and grabbed mine, leading me to our tent.

I turned around to look at Maggie, mouthing a thank you to her, getting a nod in response. We walked past the others, making our way to our tent.

Daryl, pushed the fabric open, gently pulling me into the tent after him.

He let the fabric fall back down as me moved to lay on the bed, pulling me down to lay with him. His arms enveloped me, encasing me in his warmth.

I could feel his face in my neck as his placed soft kisses along the skin.

I turned around in his arms to face him, my hand moving the hair from his forehead as he looked down to my stomach, his fingers resting on my hip as his thumb stretched over my stomach, running over it.

He stayed silent, eyes glued to where his baby was being protected.

“Hey.” I whispered. “You okay?” I asked softly, moving a hand to his cheek.

He lightly pulled back, but relaxed into my touch, a soft smile on his lips.

His hand moved from my hip and pushed my shirt up, placing his hand flat against where the bump will be. 

He opened his mouth to speak, hesitating he closed it again and looked back down.

“Baby? What’s up?” I asked, slightly worried. I moved slightly, resting on my elbow as I looked at him. “Is something wrong?” I asked wearily.

He shook his head, his fingers tracing shapes over my stomach. “What’s it like?” He asked quietly, a small blush on his cheeks. “Being pregnant?“ I asked, searching his eyes.

He nodded slightly.

I smiled softly, motioning for him to lay back.

Daryl rolled over to lay on his back, his right arm resting behind his head as I cuddled into his side, my head resting on his left shoulder.

“It feels weird.” I spoke softly, my fingers tracing a pattern on his chest. He hummed, as his fingers ran circles on my arm.

“Im always emotional, I try to hide it most of the time because I don’t want to be annoying.” I chuckled.

“I miss you all of the time.” I blushed softly. “Although, I think that’s just a personal preference.” I chuckled softly.

“Im exhausted, but I can not stand not doing something.” I paused. “Im always nervous about Bean, about how they’re doing in there.” I admitted, my stomach fluttering as Daryl pulled me closer into his side.

“Its just crazy, to think that in here.” I moved my hand to rest over his hand that had stayed on my stomach.

“A baby, made from the best parts of us and love is growing into a little human.”

Daryl kept quiet as I spoke.

“I read that book the other day, just to check up on Bean’s growth.” “Bean is the size of a prune, Little bones are being formed. Bean even has a tiny little face.” I smiled up at him. 

Daryl was silent, just listening to every thing I say.

“Ill need support, a lot of it, I cant do this alone.” I whispered. “There are a few things that you’ll enjoy about my pregnancy.”

I was waiting for a response, Daryls shallow breaths filling the tent. I moved my head slightly to look up.

Daryl had fallen asleep, his mouth partially open as soft snores emitted from him.

I smiled softly and snuggled closer into him. “That’s some information I’ll have to tell you tomorrow.” I chuckled to myself.

My eyes watched the shadows of the branches on the roof of the tent, my eyelids beginning to droop as I softly yawned.

Daryl in his sleep state, once again pulled me closer to him, wrapping both arms around me and sighing as he drifted into a more deep sleep.

My eyes closed as I listened to the steady beat of Daryl’s heart.

My mind, my body finally letting me fall into a sleep.

Series Masterlist

Next Part

[wolferals]

🌙TROUBLE🌙

arón piper imagine

🌼@bbaronpiper and I wanted to try something and got some basic keywords for a story and both of us wrote our own interpretation! A so seen little project🌼 hope you like it🌸

and check out her story as well TROUBLE

also check out her writings, shes amazing! @bbaronpiper

*

*

friday july 12th 2019

„Have you ever considered becoming a vegan officer?" you asked the tall handsome cop who sitting in front of you.

He looked at you in disbelief before speaking up:"Y/n, its one thing being a proud vegan but its another thing to carry out violet actions against Mr. Rodriguez. You overreacted and you have to deal with the consequences."

You scoffed and leaned back against your chair.

„And how long is that going to take here?"

He slowly lifted himself up from the wooden chair and turned to you once again, saying:"Apologize to him and maybe he wont sue you."

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

He was the one who had provoked you by pushing you out of the way, making you fall. You had just asked him what that had been for and he had responded:"Get out of the way little girl. Maybe go to school instead of protesting against something you cant stop. Maybe eating some meat wouldnt harm you."

And yes maybe you had overreacted by kicking him in his left leg. But how were you supposed to know he had just had surgery?

When you had heard about the protest against animal cruelty in the middle of Madrid you had immediately called your best friend to tell her to make some signs.

And that said friend was now hiding somewhere, just as the cops had arrived she left you alone and ran.

In that very moment you could've screamed but you were too busy trying to hide. But they caught you eventually, thats why you were here.

„Alright Ms. Y/l/n, we only need your personal details and then you can go. You will receive a letter from us in the next week."

You looked up and listened to the police man talking to you. Then you grabbed your bag that's been sitting on the floor throughout this time and walked outside.

„Alright, sit down." An older woman ordered you.

You unwillingly sat down on another chair in the main area of the police station.

There were two other people you noticed. A young girl, maybe around the age of 11 who had probably lost her parents in the city. And a rather damaged boy your age, perhaps a little bit older, who had scars in his face.

Your gaze fell to his hand that had bleeding knuckles.

He noticed your stare and looked at you.

He didnt look very charming you figured. He looked pretty serious and was probably one of those guys that got into fights on the regular or maybe even did drugs.

„Full name." the unpleasant female cop yelled at you.

You looked at her and then took a deep breath. Your parents would kill you, but you had no choice, you were already in deep shit.

„Y/n (y/m/n) y/l/n)" you spoke and looked to the ground.

The lady mustered you and eventually wrote down the information.

„Birthday", „Place of birth" , „family status (parents names and birthdays)"  and other personal information followed. You unwillingly answered each time.

Great, now you were officially fucked.

„Wait here." She said after she slammed the „questionnaire" on the front desk where a young woman took it and started typing something on her computer.

So you just sat there for what felt like an eternity until another police officer entered the room and grabbed a chair to sit in front of the guy with the bruises.

„Alright. So, beating up teenagers is now cool or why did you do it?" he asked him while leaning back.

The guy just laughed and then replied:"First of all, they are not teenagers, they are over 18. And second, this fucker wanted to rob me. I just defended myself."

You listened interested until they both looked at you, making you look away rapidly.

„So you're saying that this boy who is about 5'6 wanted to rob a man who already has a criminal record?"

The guy nodded and added:"I know how this sounds but look what he did to me! The guy can do karate. I just hit back to run away."

The officer took a long breath in before answering:"Well too bad you got caught and are already very well known here Arón."

The guy suddenly looked very mad again and leaned towards the old police man.

„I didnt fucking start this!"

The man got up, put the chair back to its original position and said:"I'll get the report ready Mr Piper."

The guy cursed and then leaned back against the wall.

You were looking at his face. The bruises you had noticed before looked very fresh, there was still some liquid blood in them. But in general he was quite handsome. He had a sharp jaw, a very chiseled face structure and a shaved head. He looked like a criminal, judging from how the criminals on tv look like.

„Qué??" he then asked, making you snap out of your thoughts.

„Uh nothing." you replied and coughed.

You turned your face away from him.

„First time in trouble huh?" he asked and you could hear the grin in his tone.

You looked back at him, looked him up and down and replied sassy:"Duh."

He chuckled at you.

Then he spoke:"Welcome to the real world."

You had to laugh at his word choice. Next he sat up right.

„Did you beat him up?" you then asked out of curiosity.

„Arón" stared right into your eyes and eventually stated:"Did you kick the man out of nowhere?"

You responded with a small laugh. „Yeah." he just claimed and looked around.

„I'm fucked." you mumbled after a couple of seconds.

You could feel him looking at you. „Nah the first time isnt as bad. Plus, you just kicked someone, you didnt kill anyone."

Your head shot around. „Ah someone knows his way around huh?"

Arón chuckled again. „Nah. Not yet." he smiled.

You noticed a little gap between his front teeth. He didnt look as dangerous when he smiled.

„You know I'm good at assuming things about people. And you dont seem like a killer girl." he suddenly said.

You smiled and scanned his face secretly.

„What do I seem like then?"

He grinned and the next thing he did was stare you up and down for a bit. Until he finally spoke:"Rich girl, who lives with her parents. She likes to say what she thinks and sometimes gets into fights because of that. But she's never been arrested before so mommy and daddy are going to ground you for that."

You scoffed at him.

But he wasn't completely wrong.

„Well. Okay." was all you could say. He was pretty right about his statement.

After sitting in the hall for a little, the old officer finally came back and handed you your ID.

„You can go."

You got up and grabbed your bag with your left hand.

„Hey princess, tell mommy and daddy I'm sorry for their criminal daughter." you heard Aróns voice as you wanted to leave the police station.

„Ha ha very funny." you replied and faked a smile that turned into a frown.

„Hey girly, can I crash at your mansion some time?" he yelled after you.

„Sure. But I wont tell you where I live." you grinned and looked at his expression.

He looked chill despite the fact that he was in trouble like you had been.

„Dont worry, I'll find you."

You nodded unbelieving and then finally kept walking.

Now you had to explain to your parents why you were late, and why you were expecting a letter from the police. Fuck.

•

•

You somehow managed to tell your parents exactly how it happened without being yelled at. They believed that it wasn't completely only your fault yet they werent happy about the fact that you ended up at the police. But on the other hand you had never had any problems with the law before and you were usually a good girl, so they werent worried as much as expected. You hadnt told them about the lawsuit yet though. That was a future problem.

As it was now the next day you were just at home, finishing some assignments for your second year of college that would start next week.

You had taken a shower after dinner and then went to your room to watch a show before heading to bed.

To be honest, you had almost forgotten about the whole lawsuit thing when you went to bed that night. It got late, you got stuck with the newest season of your favorite show and actually fell asleep at around 1:30.

A loud noise woke you from your sleep and you sat up right, looking around all confused.

Your room was completely dark besides the streetlights from outside your window.

You heard the knock again and a shockwave went right through your body. Where did it come from? The house was all silent since your parents' bedroom was downstairs and your sister was sleeping at her boyfriends' almost every night.

Slowly you made your way threw the hallway checking where the noise came from. Your first thought was that it was probably the neighbors cat in the backyard or something but then you realized the bangs came from the bathroom.

You grabbed the first thing near you which was a vase that had been standing on a little table in the hallway.

Eventually you walked to the bathroom and turned on the light.

You got scared immediately as you saw a face in front of the window.

After looking at the person you realized it was the guy from the police station. You closed the bathroom door and unlocked the window.

„What the fuck are you doing here?" you whisper yelled.

The guy climbed into the room. He was wearing a black hoodie with some dark grey sweatpants and a black beanie. „You said i could sleep here if I found you. And i did."

You were actually creeped out. So you just stared at him until your confidence came back. „How did you fucking find my house?" you asked and pushed him back a little bit. He grinned and leaned against the sink. „I stole the paper with your information."

Your eyes widened. „You what??" you asked him in disbelief. „You're welcome. Now they got nothing against you. For the police you dont exist."

You didnt know if you should thank him for it or hit him in the face for doing such a stupid thing. What if the police thought you stole it? „So where can i sleep then?" he asked you and took a look around. His bruises were still visible but now looked a lot more clean and healed.

„Uh." you stuttered and thought about his question.

„My parents are right downstairs. You cant just sneak in here and expect me to offer you my bed. I dont know you, you could be a psycho!" He laughed at you and stepped closer to you. You were intimidated because you couldnt step back any farther. Your back was already touching the wall next to the bathtub.

„I wont hurt you, I just need a place to sleep." You looked right into his eyes that were only inches away from yours.

He was so close he could probably hear your heart pound. It was about to jump out of your chest. You then offered him to sleep on the small couch in your room, if he promised to disappear before your parents found out.

So you passed him a blanket and two pillows and finally turned off the light the second time this night.

„Goodnight." you automatically whispered. You heard a little chuckle from the other side of the room before he whispered back a quiet:"Gracias."

•

When you woke up a couple of hours later your room was lightened by the sun. You rubbed your eyes and sat up. You almost had a little heart attack when you saw someone laying on your couch. But then you remember what happened only 4 hours before. The guy who's name you werent sure about -was it Arón?- was sleeping peacefully, his closed eyes facing you. You noticed he had taken off his shirt. You didnt see his stomach but you could see his naked, muscular arms over the blanket. And you saw some tattoos on them. And a small tattoo on his chest.

He looked quite cute when he was sleeping.

You then checked your phone and thought about what you'd do today until you heard footsteps coming upstairs.

Your mom! She always says goodbye before work. Its like a mother-daughter tradition because once when you were a kid and she didnt say bye you had a panic attack because you thought something happened to her. You jumped up from the bed towards the couch.

„Wake up! Wake up! You gotta hide, my mom's coming!" you shook him to wake him up. He replied with a raspy groan and eventually opened his eyes.

„Huh?" he asked confused looking at you. -„Hide! My mom!" You whispered and waited for him to get in the closet.

But since he took so long realizing what was going on, it happened what had to happen.

Your mom was standing in your room, staring at both of you. You in your oversized shirt and no pants and this strange boy shirtless. You were fucked.

„Uhh y/n?" she asked and looked at you in confusion.

You were all staring each other down until Arón spoke up:"Mrs. Y/l/n, im so sorry. My name is Arón, I'm your daughters boyfriend." He shook her hand smiling. Your mother on the other hand looked confused as hell. Just as you. Did he just call himself your boyfriend?

„Oh. I didnt know she had a boyfriend." Your mom replied and then actually chuckled. She laughed! She wasnt mad?

„I have to go to work now but nice to meet you Arón. See you later honey, i think we have to talk."

She said after none of you said anything.

„Likewise" Arón spoke before your mom left your room and closed the door.

„What the hell?" you yelled at him and lightly punched him in the chest.

„I had no choice. What do you want me to do? Say that I broke in here because we met at the police station?"

You ran your hand through your hair and then said:"Please go. I'm in enough trouble already. Please leave."

He nodded, then grabbed his sweater and put it back on.

„Can i sleep here tonight too? I dont really know where to go." he asked while picking up his things.

You rolled your eyes but nodded softly.

„Thank you!" He smiled and came up to you.

„Sure." you replied and crossed your arms.

He opened the door to your room and whispered a „see you tonight" before finally leaving your house.

You didnt really trust this guy. Something about him was off but you didnt know quite yet what it was.

•

•

Arón's been crashing at your place for a week now and a lot of weird things happened inbetween. You only saw him at night when he climbed through your bedroom or the bathroom window. Then you usually went to bed and in the morning he left. You never knew where he went and you also didnt know why he couldnt sleep at his parents'.

Your mom and dad had both talked to him before and actually believed he was your boyfriend. Around them he acted like an angel but you knew he wasnt. I mean, he's never insulted you or been rude but he certainly wasnt an example of a good guy.

One night as you were sleeping, him laying on your couch, you were woken by someones voice talking in your room.

Arón was walking around your carpet, speaking into his phone loudly.

„Whats up?" you whispered and looked at him all sleepy.

He showed you he needed a second and kept discussion in spanish.

He was pretty loud and you were worried your parents might wake up from his voice. And he seemed mad, almost aggressive.

He then hung up and before you knew, he slammed his phone on the wall. It broke immediately, shocking you intensely.

„Jeez what the fuck!" you spoke and got up from the bed.

Arón in the meantime put on his jacked and wanted to walk out of the room but you chased him, trying not to make too much noise walking downstairs.

„Where are you going?" you asked.

„I need to see someone before this certain person wakes your parents." he boldly spoke and opened the front door.

You were only wearing shorts and a top and it was chilly outside. But you were far too concerned to grab a jacket.

You closed the door behind you and ran after him.

„Y/n go to bed." he then ordered as he kept walking.

„No i need to know whats happening."

He scoffed at you and finally stopped as you both reached a person standing around the corner.

Aron was just standing there staring at the dark dressed man.

You were right behind him, carefully taking a look.

„Arón." the guy finally spoke and came up to you both, grabbing aron by the jacket.

„What do you want?" arón asked the man, sounding as if he was about to rip his head off.

„Needed to see you little brother." the guy replied and then noticed you hiding behind Aróns back.

„Oh got yourself a girlfriend huh?" he grinned and walked around him to get closer to you.

„Hey you." he smiled and reached out to touch you but you backed off and mustered him.

„She's hot." the guy then said and turned around to arón again.

„What the fuck are you doing here Juan?" Arón finally spoke up. „Taking you home. Mom is worried about you."

Aron laughed fake before claiming:"Oh really?"

Juan stepped right in front of Aron and looked at him.

„I like your new haircut brother. You look like a prisoner."

Arón didnt reply, he clenched his fist as if he was about to hit.

„If you keep going like that, you will be soon." Juan added and smiled at him.

„Fuck off im not coming home." arón mumbled and wanted to step back but Juan grabbed his arm and answered:"You. Are coming with me. Because I say so."

Aron freed his arm and yelled:"Get out of my life."

You just watched as they were yelling at each other. The reason for Aróns stubbornness wasnt quite clear for you until he said one specific thing:"Mom and Dad dont want me back! All they want was you. You're the only son they ever wanted."

He was jealous of his big brother.

What you figured out from their conversation, Juan was a troublemaker himself but then started studying and was now about to be a lawyer. Apparently their parents had always supported him, even though he used to be in deep shit often times. Arón kept claiming that he was „nothing to their parents".

At some point the situation escalated and Juan grabbed Aron rather harshly and Aron pushed him back. Which made Juan fall to the ground, hitting his head on the concrete.

Juan looked even more furious than Aron then.

He got up again and basically jumped arón.

You felt useless, watching those brothers fight in the middle of the streets.

But suddenly you decided to do something.

You went up to them and jumped on Arons back to make him stop.

„Stop this shit before someone calls the cops!" you tried to calm them down.

But Aron was so furious he threw you right off.

You landed on your back rather harshly, moaning out in pain. It had been really fucking painful.

He didnt even notice that he had hurt you, they kept yelling at each other until you heard police sirens getting closer.

Juan seemed to notice as well and let go of Aron.

„You know what, fuck you! You're useless to this family. Come back after achieving something!" Juan yelled and just disappeared between the streetlights and the bushes.

„Fuck." Aron cursed and finally turned around to you.

„Run!" he then said as the police car turned around the corner.

You got up in pain and grabbed his reached out hand.

„Faster!" he told you and pulled you with him as he was running super fast. You almost stumbled over your own feet.

„Where?" you just asked and concentrated on running as fast as you could.

Usually you hated running but right now it felt good. Free kind of. You had never run from the cops, especially not with a known criminal who wasnt as bad as you thought.

„Fuck, run faster." he yelled but you couldnt go any faster.

Eventually he let go of you to make you jump into a bush.

The cops were right behind you but didnt seem to notice you hiding, they ran past you after Aron.

And aron on the other hand did something you hasnt expected. He stopped running.

He turned around and put his hands up in the air.

What the fuck was he doing?

The police reached him and put him in a secure grip in a fast motion. He couldve gotten away easily if he hadnt stopped!

They grabbed him by the arm and pulled him through the alley of trees towards the police car.

You looked him straight in the eyes as they walked past you. He inconspicuously smiled at you.

What was he doing?

As they sat him in the police car you slowly got out of the bush.

So you just stood there. They couldve seen you but you didnt care, you just wanted to see what was happening.

Some of your neighbors were outside looking as well.

Before the car took off you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket.

Who would text you at 3am?

You took it and opened the message.

You started to smile and looked up to see him smiling at you from the police car.

Arón:"Can I crash again when I get out?"

⭐️

[boy-who-never-grew-up]

MGG smut plz dont read this

“Oh what-can-it mean to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen“ I sing as the songs ends “Cheer up sleepy jean”

Claps come from the drunken maybe 30 or so people at the karaoke bar. I take an overzealous bow and try to keep my balance. The room spins slightly as I stand straight up. The DJ loudly announces the next singer and song as I walk back to my group of friends. They give another drunken round of applause and compliments all around, even though I really butchered the last verse in “Sleepy Jean”. I feel my best friend yank on my arm and pull me closer to her face.

“Look who came in half way through..” She pointed vaguely across the bar at a group of people, none of which whom I knew. “Tonight is your night, I told you. Did I not?”

As she talks eagerly in my ear, I look deeper into the crowd. I remain unsure of what the fuck she’s talking about. I quickly sweep over and over again, looking for a familiar face, but I find none.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I stop her mid-ramble.

“It’s what’s his nuts... You know from the show you watch- not Law & Order the other one... What’s his fuckin’ name the tall cute one.” She yells into my ear, as if I’ll understand her better the louder she is.

“Matthew Gray Gubler?” I ask.

“YES! I knew his name, damn. Yes! He’s here, he walked in half way through your song.” She excitedly gets her point across and tugs on my arm.

“No fucking way, you’re wrong.” I scoff at her.

There’s no way he’s here. I try to look again, but now there are more people at the bar in the way of whoever was there before. She pulls me about two feet to our left and positions our heads just right and points across the room; much more specific now.

On the other side of the room, by the bar and near the wall, I see a man with curly hair with a drink in his hand by his mouth, but like he was too enthralled with what his response would be to whoever is talking to him so he couldn’t take a drink. He smiled wide as he listened, and I watched for a second or two as he gave his response, they both laughed, and he finally took a drink. 

“Fack.” I spoke bluntly “Fucking shit dude.”

“You have to talk to him, I’m not giving you the option. This is happening.” My friend spoke, still attached to my arm with excitement. 

“He’s probably here with someone.” I immediately excuse.

“He’s literally not. Oh my- listen, all you gotta do is talk to him. The worst that happens is you get turned down.” She refutes “This is a one time chance, and you’ll regret it if you don’t do it”

Anxiety rises in my chest through my stomach as I watch him and his friends move to the open pool table. I feel like my fucking mouth is sweating and like there’s no way that I’m gonna be able to go over there and say anything to him.

“Plus, you’ve been saying you wanna try to hoe it up a little. this is the perfect time. Vacation, bar, pretty guy.” She grabs my chin and turns my face to her to make demanding eye contact “You look extremely hot tonight. Your ass- looks great in those jeans, I cant stop staring. Literally, everywhere we have been I’ve had to keep the guys off of you. You’re the one in charge here.”

She speaks with such confidence and power. She raises her eyebrows at me as if to say “Are you gonna go fucking do it?” So I take a big huff and ball up my fists and turn to start walking over. I’m suddenly feeling how actually drunk I am, and if I wasn’t so drunk, that would make me nervous that I’m gonna look like a complete idiot. I suddenly realize that I have no game plan and the drink I’m holding is just ice at this point. I’m about ten feet away and there’s no stopping because it is now very clear that I was actively making my way across the room to this specific spot. I’m physically shaking at this point where I walk up right behind him as he leans over the pool table. I watch as he misses his shot and stands back up. I take a deep breath and let it out as I step up next to him and look up to smile.

“Hi.” I say, hopefully loud enough for him to hear.

“Oh, hello.” He says back to me and smiles.

There’s silence for a second, he looks back to his friends taking their turns, and back to me.

“Can I buy you a drink?” I blurt out, after what seems like holding it in for minutes in silence.

“Ah,” He looks at his half empty drink and back to me “Sure. You heading to the bar?” 

He points to the bar, and honestly, I’m just surprised I made it this far.

“Yeah!’ I respond, trying to keep my cool.

We both take off in direction of the bar and I am mentally trying to sober myself up to walk a straight line. As we reach the bar, he turns to me and immediately reaches out his hand to shake it.

“I’m Matthew.” 

I shook his hand and gave him my name with a smile. 

“What are you drinking?” I ask him, pointing to his drink.

“Ah, whatever seasonal beer this is.” He twists his bottle to look at the label, and then turns it for me to see as well “What about you?”

“Gin and tonic.” I say and raise my drink a little.

“Oh, wow. You look really young for a sixty year old dad.” He dead pan says to me.

My jaw drops with a hint of a smile. I feel a wave of peace come over me as we both laugh and I defend my drink choices. 

“Cheap beer seems to get the job done for me.” He says and takes another drink.

“I can’t help that I just have a refined palette.” I tease.

He nods towards his friends to gesture that we I follow him, as he turns to walk back to his friends.

“Are those your friends?” He points to the group of girls I came with who are now walking up to do a karaoke song together.

“Oh gosh, they really are drunk.” I say as “Ice Ice Baby” comes on over the speakers.

He laughs and leans down slightly to say to me “Are you not?”

I giggle and turn to look at him as I say “I mean yeah, but not group Ice Ice Baby drunk.”

He smiles at me and grabs the pool stick he had earlier and steps up to take his shot.

“They’re about to fuckin’ kill it though just watch.” I add in.

He misses his shot, hands the pool stick to his partner, then grabs his friends attention and introduces me to them and vice versa. I smile and wave extra awkwardly and sip at my drink which is starting to only taste like lime and not gin.

“Are you gonna do another song?” He crosses his arms and looks at me before looking back at my friends going hard to “Ice Ice Baby”.

“Uh, yeah I think so. I’m still trying to decide what song I wanna do.” 

I watch as my friends start to get sloppy at the mic and laugh a little. Matthew speaks to me again, but this time he’s much closer than before. He cranes down a little to listen and speak to me.

“What are your choices?” He asks.

I dare not turn to look at him lest his face be close enough for me to analyze under the dim bar lights and see the color of his eyes. I keep my eyes on the group of girls at the front rapping their hearts out.

“I’m thinking What’s Up by 4 Non Blondes or maybe I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston.” I say loudly.

“Ooh, throw backs. I love it.” I can hear his laugh much clearer now 

“You should do 4 Non Blondes, if you care what I think.” He adds that last part as he stumbles over his recommendation.

Smart. Also, good suggestion. I smile and nod.

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” I say coolly and step forward to walk to the DJ.

I’m freaking out that I’m actually maintaining this casual courtship so fuckin’ well. He seems to want to talk to me, which is amazing, and I’m not tripping over my feet or stumbling over my words. I can feel my cheeks tighten as I smile walking towards the DJ booth. I wait as the last song finishes and I am handed a mic to head out. All through the song, all I can think is that he’s watching me. Normally I like the attention, but right now I feel nervous-like when you’re forced to participate in something as a child. I try to relax and get into the song. I close my eyes and after awhile it’s just me and the music. I do my best, even give a little bit of a performance. I do another bow as the song ends and smile. I look up to see him standing in the back smiling and clapping. My heart races as he smiles wider when my eyes catch his. I hand the mic back to the DJ and walk back towards him. I left my drink at his table, irresponsible around strangers I know, but I had felt like I needed a reason to come back to him. I walk past my table and give one friend a high five and my best friend smacks my butt as I pass. She grabs my arm and stops me before I walk away.

“If we all need to crash in their room so you can have our room at the hotel, that’s fine. I can stay with them tonight. I am in all support of this.” She whispers in my ear.

I smile and thank her for her kind idea as I continue my walk back towards that tall tall man. 

“Hey! That was great!” he perks up as I near him.

Nervously, he raises his hands and I don’t think initially he knew what he was doing, but I didn’t either. We both end up double high fiving and then awkwardly looking away because we both knew that was so fucking stupid. I grab my drink and make sure to thank him for the compliment before I sip. 

“What did your friend say into your ear? Looked like she was gonna rip your arm off.” He says as he finally turns back to me.

I take a breath and turn back to him to make eye contact.

“She heavily implied some very inappropriate things.” I smile and take another drink.

“Oh! That’s super awesome.” He says blankly. 

“She’s very set and steady that I take you back to my hotel tonight.” I said honestly “However, I literally have never gone up to a man and bought him a drink at a bar and I’m just not sure that I could really get myself to a place that I could do that.”

“Well, you’ve already done the hard part right? Taking initiative. I’ve never had a girl by me a drink before, surprisingly. I’ve had some ask if I could buy them a drink. So, it’s a first time for me too.” He reassures me.

“Is that something that you would want to do? Take me to your hotel room?” He says as he sets his beer at the table with my drink and leans on it, facing me directly.

“I’m not really sure. I feel like there’s so much to disclose before something like that but the bar isn’t the best place to do it.” I reply honestly.

He scrunches his nose and nods “I totally get it. I don’t feel like I have to tell you but, you don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do.”

“Well,” I start before taking a sip of my drink “Is that something you would want to do? Go back with me?” 

“Do you wanna have another drink? We could sit down when I’m done with this pool game.” He replies.

“Actually, I need to drink some water.” I shrug “I have to make ‘responsible decisions’“ 

I pfft my tongue at that and smile. 

“Who says?” He laughs as he responds.

“I do, actually.” I blush and look down at my drink, away from his smiling face.

“Well, do you wanna sit down over a couple waters then?” He suggests.

I look back at him and smile and nod. I wait as he finishes the pool game, every so often coming back and standing by me to talk to me. Occasionally, my friends would wave me down and give me extremely obvious thumbs up and gestures to check my phone.

I roll my eyes and give in and check my phone.

:“you need the room or nah? we tryna to head back”

I huff and look up at Matthew. It couldn’t hurt right? It’s once in a lifetime thing, I  have to.

:”I think so, but we’re gonna hang out a lil more”

:”k we’ll get anotha drink then call the lyft.”

:”Okay”

I set my phone down on the table and look up to the opposing team taking the winning shot. Matthew drops his shoulders and pouts for a second, but quickly moves on to come stand by me.

“I’ll be right back.” He says and sets his half empty bottle down at the table and walks towards the bar.

I fidget with my nails as I wait, nervously. He seems sweet, and he seems to be just as awkward as me. As confident as it must seem to offer him a drink, I feel so small and dumb. He clearly came here with his friends to play pool and now I’ve ruined that. 

As I worry through my thoughts, he comes back to the table and sets down two large glasses of ice water. Luckily, he’s good at sparking questions and the conversation went on pretty well. He’s very awkward but somehow it makes me feel comfortable. We talk about pets and coffee and youtube videos and it goes well. Really, not what I had expected from trying to pick someone up from a bar. He asks for pictures of my pets and of course I show him. We talk about classic rock and our favorite bands. Comparing oldies and swooning over Bright Eyes. We sip through the remainder of our drinks and keep going on about music. At about a third of water left, somehow religion gets brought up religion and other beliefs. At water empty, it started getting deep. Bringing up childhood trauma and dealing with death. 

I look over at my friends and they are standing around as if they’re waiting. I dismiss myself quickly and head over to them.

“Hey, you guys can go...” I interrupt.

Shrieks of shock and joy come from them but I try to shush them as much as possible.

“Listen, I’m not promising anything will happen. But, I’m going to stay and chat with him a bit. I’ll get another Lyft.” 

They all smile and tease me. I give them hugs and send them off as they spew warnings about men and encourage me to have fun.

“Looks like you missed your ride.” I jump as Matthew speaks next to me.

“Oh, uh yeah. They’re gonna head out, I just wanted to hang out a little more...” I excuse.

“Those things you wanted to disclose... “ He turned to look at me “We can get an Uber, is that a good place to talk?”

My heart thumps through my chest as I look him in the eyes. He has another cup of water in a paper cup in his hand and the Uber app open in his other.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, that would be fine.” I stumble out.

“Are you sure? I mean, we can just share the ride back nothing has to happ-”

“Yes, I would like to. I want to.” I cut him off.

“Cool, well, we have like fifteen minutes until the Uber is here. Did you want another water?” He offers the cup in his hand with a smile.

“Sure, thanks.” I say as I take the cup.

We both kind fall silent as we wait. Like everything to be said here at the bar has been said. The next dialogue is to be in the car. The disclosure. We’re in the loading screen. I spend a little time peeing in the bathroom and checking my makeup. The rest I spend internally panicking. Not in a “I don’t wanna do this” way but more like “There’s no way this is really happening” way. Occasionally, we would catch each others eye contact and blush and smile. It feels good to know that he is just as nervous as I am.

*In the car*

“Let’s disclose this foreclosure!” Matthew declares as we get on the road.

“I don’t think that makes sense.” I tease.

“Yeah, y’know I tried. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, yeah I know what you mean.” I mumble.

The car is so quiet compared to the bar. The late night empty roads seem deafeningly silent. I try not to look him in the eye again. There’s so much I want to say, but how does one even say them?

“So?....” He starts.

“So?” I stall.

“What did you wanna talk about?” He pushes.

“I’m not... Well, I’ve never just hooked up with someone.. I guess.. Like, outside of a relationship, and just really have never had an experience that I was satisfied with. There’s so much I want, but I’ve never had someone to give that to me, y’know.” I can feel that I’m definitely still pretty buzzed and saying things is coming rather easy once the first word comes out.

He smiles as he watches me explain my predicament.

“Yeah, I’m not really one to really go home with people from bars either so we’re on the same boat there.” He reassures me.

I can see his eyes watching me intently. Watching my lips intently. As I talk I feel my words being seen. He licks his lips once as he listens.

“I just feel like, if I’m gonna hook up with someone, I should go all out right? Trying to mix your body with someone’s that you don’t even know seems complicated. I feel like it’s trial and error and time, and all I’ve ever been is dissatisfied.”

“Anything else?” He says quietly, still not breaking his stare.

At this point we’re both facing each other in the back seat, nearly dismissing the middle seat entirely.

“I don’t think I can promise I won’t catch feelings for you.” I say finally, letting out my breath as I do.

He pauses for a second, I don’t think he even breathes, but he says “I’m fine with that.”

Before I know it, the gap between us is closing. He moves in hastily like he’s been craving to kiss me. I bring my hand to his cheek and kiss him back. He lays one hand on my neck and the other on my hip as he almost pushes me back in my seat, hungrily stealing kisses. I hold his hand that lay on my neck and snake my other arm around his neck. We keep kissing as the ride goes on. Going back and forth between peppering kisses on each others lips to overwhelming amounts of open mouth exploration. His right hand slides down and over my chest, and though I’m holding his hand, I can tell he didn’t just move there for convenience. If I wasn’t buckled in, he would have me on his lap right now. Which is really where I wanted to be. 

The car ride felt both too short and too long. Making out in the backseat is a world I could get lost in. Ahead, in the hotel I need to be ready to get real. Making out in the backseat is easy and actually hooking up with someone is complicated. I could stay in this sweet bliss forever,.

As the car rolled up to the hotel doors, we parted lips. I go to pull away but he holds me in place for a moment.

“I want you to know... I promise I won’t disappoint you.” He tells me, softly and kindly.

After we get out of the car, Matthew runs around to meet me and we walk into the lobby together. Down the hall, away from the front desk, he grabs my hand and leads me. He kisses my hand before pulling me in to kiss me on the mouth again.

“Fuck, I really like kissing you.” He says as he smiles against my lips.

“We’re almost to the room.” I try.

“Which one is it?” He asks, in between kisses.

“Next one on the left.” 

“You have the key?” He asks, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

I push the key into his hand then, to my surprise, he literally sweeps me off my feet. Okay, maybe not literally. With his arm tightly around my waist, when he stands, my feet come off the floor. He unlocks the door and ushers us inside. He tosses the key card and drops me onto the edge of the bed. He plops down beside me and immediately grabs my face and begins kissing me again. Through this, he sloppily takes off the flannel he has on top of his pink t-shirt and tosses it across the room onto the desk. This time, he pushes his fingers back into my hair and I wrap my hands around his wrists. He pulls away to speak, but he stays close and doesn’t open his eyes. The glimpse of him that I catch he looks breathless. Like drinking a full glass of water after a drought.

“You said that there’s so much you want...” He says slowly “What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” I mumble “I’m all over the place man.”

He kisses me again before he speaks “How about...” Another kiss “I can start off, y’know, in charge...” Another kiss “And when you feel comfortable,” Another “You can do whatever you want..”

His kisses stray from my lips and down my chin. Over my my neck and to rest on my shoulder. Here stayed many, placed tenderly. I feel him rest his head against me, his hot breath wafting down my chest.

“We’ve got the room all night, right?”

My fucking heart stops. This won’t be disappointing.

“Yes.” I say in almost a whisper.

“Yes you want me to take charge or yes we have the room all night?” He sits upright, away from me.

My body reacts to him pulling away, too soon. I catch myself from reaching out after him. 

“Yes to both.” I agree.

“Sweet.” he nods “I have promises to fulfill.” 

He gently pushed me back to lay down, slowly looming over me as I do. His hand runs down my chest, my stomach, and to my hip. He leans down to kiss me, but only once before layering kisses down my chest to the edge of my shirt. He slides down to rest on his stomach and pushes my shirt up slowly, followed by a trail of kisses. He breathes slowly against my skin as the shirt moves higher and higher up my chest. I finally take the liberty of just removing the shirt to get it out of the way. He re-positions himself again, on his knees, leaning on his right arm and his other underneath me, reaching at the bra clasp. Just as I thought hungry Matthew was gone, he pulls the bra off completely and immediately presses his mouth to my chest. Wet, soft, and suckled kisses wander across my breasts and quickly turn to starved rough kisses and light bites of skin. He moves down over my stomach, taking time adjust to the curves and rolls of my body, before laying a fully contacted wet one onto my skin. 

At the top of my jeans he stops, resting his head against my skin and pulls at the sides of my pants.

“These looked great on you, but now they gotta go.” He mumbles.

Swiftly unbuttoning my pants, he continues to lay kisses on my exposed skin. He large hands pull at the sides of my jeans, this time successful, and pulled then down over my legs, off my feet, and tossed them to the floor. I feel the rumble as he lets out a whiny groan against my stomach. 

“Tell me to stop whenever.” He says as he pulls down my underwear, slowly, all the way off my legs.

“Please, don’t stop.” I say in a hushed voice, already ashamed of what I wanted from him.

I can feel him smile against my skin as he begins to press kisses to my thigh.

“I like that ‘please’.” He kisses further in, where leg meets body.

I feel his tongue glide up my bikini line and over the bare skin near my hips.The chill tickles me and my body tenses one degree more. He sits upright, still holding my leg, at the ankle now and rubs his other hand down my leg.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, okay?” He asks softly “But I wanna hear you say please.” 

He kisses my ankle and holds his lips there, waiting for my response.

I pause for a moment, wondering what exactly I should say. A jumbled murmur of unfinished asks stream out of my mouth.

“Yes, please... I want you to. I want to. Please.”

“Fuck,” he whispers, lips still pressed to my ankle “don’t have to ask me twice”

I brace my nerves as he kisses up my leg and slides his tongue up into the folds of my pussy. He places a wet kiss at my clit before running his tongue down, around, and inside me. I hide my face with my arms, and try to steady my breath. I feel his arm that’s not wrapped around my thigh slide up my stomach and his hand grasps mine.

“Hey,” he pulls his mouth away from my wetness, and kisses my tummy once “Uncover your face.”

He pulls my hand away from my face and intertwines his fingers into mine.

“I want you to look at me.” He says, with sweet nurturing eyes as he leans his cheek against my thigh.

He kisses my leg with the side of his mouth as I take a breath and uncover my face to meet his eyes. He never breaks eye contact as he goes back down on me. I watch intently, trying to control my facial reactions, as he utilizes his whole tongue and head movements to pleasure me. I can’t help but whine as I watch him so intently do his best to make me feel good. Every time his tongue touches my clit, I flinch and tense, leaving behind a trail of “Oh��s and “Ah”s. I try desperately, but it’s so hard to keep my eyes on his when all I want to do is close my eyes and lean my head back. Not to mention, it feels so vulnerable, him watching me as I come undone. As I feel a tension in my stomach begin to rise, I hide my face once more with my free hand. I feel his touch get lighter and I can hear his soft pleading voice, in between sweet sultry kisses.

“Relax, okay?” he begs me.

I nod, still hiding my face and mumble “I know, I’m just embarrassed.”

“Hey,” he whispers once again as he hovers up to kiss my face.

“I love this,” his hand that holds mine pulls down over his jeans and atop his hardening cock “Trust me. Please don’t be embarrassed.”

He lets go of my body and stands upright on his knees. I watch as he slowly lifts his shirt over his head and off his body. He tosses it to the ground and quickly undoes his pants. He pushes them down and awkwardly struggles to get them all the way off, and even more so as he tries to toss them away. I giggle a little as I watch him. Even on his knees he towers over me but he’s so soft that it’s calming. When he finally draws his attention back to me, a big smile crosses his face. We both take a second to just laugh a little. He licks his lips, and my eyes start to wander down his body. His sharp shoulders and thin frame. The muscles on his arms tense in pulses and his hands, making their way back to my body, feel like they encompass all of my skin whole. I can feel every joint in his skinny hands as as squeezes my waist a few times before descending back to my body.

His mouth quickly goes back to work, kissing my pussy like he was so desperately kissing my mouth earlier. I let myself watch him, but I let myself enjoy it too. I watch his bare shoulders and neck, tensing every time he moves his head. I let out a shaky moan as he hums against my core and loudly makes out with my body. My moans grow louder with every flick of his tongue and it sets me off more when I hear him begin to moan from his own pleasure he derives from getting me off. Any sense of fear and holding back, leaves me body as I can feel the energy rising within me. Finally, I tangle my fingers in his messy curly hair and hope he doesn’t mind that I pull on it as he begins to bring me to my climax.

“Oh, oh.” I whine “Don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

He laughs between strokes of his tongue and continues the movement he was doing, but slightly faster than before. I ball my fists in his hair and cross my ankles on his back. My hips begin to lightly roll against his face and the sound of him begins to fade way in a mess of my own cries. His left hand comes around and pulls my hand from his hair and intertwines our fingers. My legs tense around his head as I spill over unto ecstasy in a heap of praise and a chorus of “Yes, yes, yes!”. When I squeeze my hand around his, he squeezes back and I don’t let go until I can finally relax and let my breath flow.

I let out breathy whines as he kisses up my torso and back to my lips. He kisses me like before and I can taste myself on his tongue.

“Fuck,” he says between kisses “You’re amazing.”

“You definitely didn’t disappoint.” I whisper in his ear as a tease and leave a kiss at the top of his jawline.

I begin to kiss his neck, and it’s salty from the small sweat he worked up pleasuring me.

“Well, I’m not done yet.” He mumbles, clearly distracted by my kisses.

He pulls himself closer to me, his chest on mine, and I can feel his erection underneath his underwear. I can’t help but moan, knowing that he’s hard from eating me out and feeling his full size against me. He shivers and I lay a few bites on his skin. I push his underwear down as he wraps his arms around me and leans his full weight on top of me.

"Do you want me?" He mutters in my ear.

"Yes, fuck yes I want you." I reply, desperately.

I tried to hold onto his shoulders but as he pulled away to align himself with me my hands landed in his hair. I tighten my grip as he enters me, letting out his own moan of satisfaction.

"Fuck," our stomachs brush together as he pushes into me "Fuck, it's tight."

He lets out more of a cry in a shaky breath as he lays his face to rest in my neck. He says it's tight, but I'm not sure that he's not just bigger than what we were both accounting for.

His arms hold tight around my body and he forms a rhythm, pulling in and out of me, pushing deeper everytime. He fills me completely but I don't think he's even all the way in. The thought of him is ravishing, but feeling him actually pumping in and out of me is making me delirious.

"Ah, ah," he moans into my neck "Fuck, you feel so good "

He starts pushing in harder, trying to fit his length inside. His right arm snakes up my body and his hand onto my hair. He pulls my head back as far as I can lean it, and bites my trap near my neck. With every stroke, he gets harder and harder, still yanking on my hair for momentum. His breathing dampens my neck as he pants with his movements. I can see his contorted face, nose scrunched and eyes shut tight, mouth hanging open letting all his moans spill out.

All at once, with his hand still in my hair and on my back, he flips me over on top of him. He lets both hands rest holding my ass, pulling me in the same rhythm he was before. I barely have to do any work as he moves my hips to make me fuck him. His right hand lines up my torso, pushing me to sit upright, and he massages my breast in his palm. He watches me for a second as I try my best to keep my hips moving. Then, again, he picks up my weight and sits up, pulling himself out of me. He kisses me once, tenderly before speaking.

"Turn around." He says against my lips.

I don't hesitate to respond to his demands, I turn around and lean down on my knees and elbows, widening my legs as much as possible. With one hand pressed into my back above my ass, and the other pulling on my hips, Matthew pounds into me. I bury my head in my hands and let him take what he wants. Listening to him unravel because of me raises tension inside. I cry out for him to go faster and without answering, he does. Strings of curses and praises drip from his lips like honey. I can tell he loves being inside me.

He pants faster and faster and stumbles over his words. His pace becomes unsteady and sloppy and I can tell he's gonna cum. His arms wrap around my body, his hands holding onto my opposing hip and shoulder, holding me in just the right spot for him to pump in and out of me a little more before he climaxes. Listening to him, I feel my peak rise and take over. I hold onto to his arms and stretch as I feel it pulse through my body. As I slowly loosen, I feel Matthew reach his climax as well, burying his head in the crook of my neck. I can feel his open mouth breath on my skin as he catches back up with oxygen. I run one hand up and through his hair, pulling him closer to kiss him on the face.

"You're amazing ..." I whisper to him.

He takes a deep breath and lets out a tiny moan against my skin.

"I keep my promises." He says lazily.

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “goodbye”. 23 years ago. The afternoon after the isle was set up. Olympus. Zeus is milling about the throne room excessively drinking in celebration. The marble floor cracks. From them vines fly out and form a Venus fly trap. The mouth opens and out steps a figure in a dark verdant hooded cloak. They send vines in Zeus’s direction which wrap around neck)

Zeus: WHO ARE YOU!!!!

Persephone (removing the cloak): who the fuck do you think it is your “majesty”

Zeus: eurghooh uh. Lady Persephone. To what do I owe the pleasure

Persephone: oh stuff it you old sot. You know what you did!!!!

Zeus: I assure you. I have no idea whatsoever as to what you mean

Persephone: my husband and my two week son where missing when I woke up this morning.

Zeus (feigning concern): really? That’s horrible

Persephone: he did it didn’t he? Adam. He set that, that horrible god awful prison up

Zeus (dropping all pretences): I’m happy to say he did. Now all of those, ahem, people, for want of a better word, are where they belong and can no longer harm us. Oh don’t look at me like that my girl. This is a good thing. Now you’re no longer bound by that pissy little contract he forced you into. You can rejoin your mother here on Olympus and all is as it was a should be before my idiot little destroyed your life

Persephone: if he destroyed my life I wouldn’t be here defending him you stupid slut. Nobody gets it. Nobody has ever seemed to have gotten it. I went through that fissure. I approached the skull throne. I threw myself at him. Being up here was a fucking snooze fest of banality. So I took the first out I could find. And I could not have been happier of what my life has become. The only reason the contract exists is because my mother threatened humanity’s livelihood should I stay there. If it were up to me I would’ve never have come back. I had to sign that to save the mortals

Zeus: how can you possibly be happy in the worlds basement

Persephone: hades is a good husband and provider. He respects my boundaries. He’s never strayed without my consent. And unlike you. He’s never purposefully killed anyone.

Zeus: and what of what he did to my son?

Persephone: ok. I shan’t defend him for that. Because he doesn’t defend himself for it either. He knows he did something disreputable. But he’s more then made up for it. Among other things he paid for and officiated the boys wedding

Zeus: where the Helios was I in all this?

Persephone: you were wine drunk, literally swanning about and harassing anyone and all naiads that stayed still long enough for you to approach them

Zeus (fondly): ah yes, good times, good times. Wait. Where are you going

Persephone: I’m going back home. Pain and Panic are good babysitters. But when Persey cries she tends to burn their limbs

Zeus: who cares. They’re the help

Persephone: they’re family.

(She leaves the way she arrived. On the isle. It’s dark, cold and barren. Hades (John Barrowman) is unconscious. There’s a large green and yellow bruise on his left temple. He’s woken up by the sound of crying)

Hades: hey kiddo. It’s alright. We’ll be ok. I tbini. We just have to get to shelter

(A very large very angry dragon jumps out of the fog. End of flashback. Underworld. Present day. Persephone is at her desk on her laptop)

Persey: see ya ma! I’m going out

Persephone: goodbye dear. Wait. Where are you going?

Persey: Auradon. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard? Chad Charming’s gone postal, stole Verna’s wand. Ben’s missing and Lonnie just sent out the batsignal.

Persephone: oh my goodness. Wow. Do you need me to help?

Persey: just look after our home.

(They disappear a wisp of steel grey fire. Outskirts of Auradon. Elsa’s unconscious on the ground. The girls have found her)

Lonnie: oh my god

Jane: your majesty

Dizzy: we’re off to a great start

Jane: your majesty wake up. Please wake up

Dizzy: the bazooka use the bazooka

Jane: right yes of course

(She squirts ends with the bazooka which instantly wakes her up)

Elsa: ouch. Use that sparingly dear. We may need it more than you think. Could somebody help me up please. Thank you Lonnie

Lonnie: what happened?

Elsa: I teleported here and then I hit something

Jane: it’s a barrier. She put up a barrier around Auradon

Dizzy: ohhhh she’s good. I mean she’s an evil psychopathic bitch. But she’s clever

Lonnie: how do we get inside?

Elsa: Jane?

(Jane makes confused questioning noises)

Elsa: if you would be so kind as to assist me in getting past the barrier?

Jane: ohhhh. Yeah sure let’s do it

(The ice queen and light fairy use magic to create a hole in the barrier. As they do so a flaming comet zooms down and crash a few feet away from them)

Elsa: what the hell

Barrowman!Hades: Name's Hades, Lord of the dead. Hi, how ya doin'?

Jane: fuck

(Elsewhere in Auradon on the school grounds Mal and the others have just touched ground. Mal’s a human again doubled over in pain)

Mal (groaning painfully): urgh. FuckDAMMIT!!!! Jesus I’m not made for this

Hadie (worriedly): are you alright

Mal: I will be. A minivan I am not.

Hadie: was this the first time you’ve carried this many people?

Mal: yeah. Normally it’s just Ben. And even then it’s only if he asks.

Hadie: really.

Jay: let’s just say he wouldn’t watch GOT for the political intrigue

Carlos: or HYTTD for the animation

Evie: or merlin for the story line

Hadie (knowledgeably): ahhh, he’s a scaly

Core four: yep

Harry: can you let me go now?

Jay: uhhhh. Nah

Harry: why?

Mal: because we may yet need a human sacrifice. And you’re the only schmo who fits the bill.

Harry: huh?

Carlos: Gil and I are loved by everyone. I’m the kings adoptive son. He’s the kings brother. You’re the ground people use to scrape gum off their shoes

Evie: that’s an insult to shoes gum and ground. And scraping

Carlos: my apologies. To shoes gum ground and scraping

Harry: I hate you all.

Jay: don’t expect us to lose sleep over it

Harry: besides. I’m the last person who should be a sacrifice

Evie: that specific criteria has been discontinued

Harry: huh

Jay: people like you can be scarified now

Harry: shit

Mal: oh no. Oh no no no no no. This is not good

Evie: they’re all asleep. DOUG

Mal: BEN

Gil: LONNIE

Evie: please pickup please please please pickup.

Mal: nonononononono. Gah. I miss you

Gil: please be safe

Jay: Jane isn’t answering either.

Mal: ok ok ok. So. The king. His major-domo/regent. And both their regents are missing. All the remaining students are asleep. It’s only half past two in the afternoon but I already want to take a brandy bath. Because Auradon has no leader. So we’re all screwed to fuckery

Jay: well that’s not entirely true is it. Hadie could you summon the three little bitches. Cause I really really want them to see this

(Hadie makes Uma, Harriet and Cj appear via grey smoke)

Uma: what the hell’a going on?

Harriet (very confused): we were still on the bridge and what’s all that funny coloureds stuf on the ground?

Jay: you three are gonna hate this. You, Uma, especially are gonna hate it. (In his announcer voice) NOW PRESENTING. MALEFICENT BERTHA. THE ACTING QUEEN OF AURADON

(He bows to Mal, closely floored by Carlos Celia Gil and Hadie. Evie is pulled to her knees by Carlos. Mal looks like she was just clipped by a car)

Uma: what?

Jay: well after the wedding she’ll be queen legally. But for now she’s just the regent. It’s wonderful don’t ya think?

Hadie: it’s marvellous. Now bow heathens

Harriet: fat fucking chance.

Jay: oh but Harry’s bowing to the one true queen

Harry: Celia bent my spine

Celia: it was my pleasure

Uma: I am not bowing to that.

Jay: oh you act as if you have a choice

(He uses magic to make the three pirates kowtow to the dark fairy)

Jay: there ya go. Isn’t that better?

(Mal takes a swig of her hipflask and disappears into purple smoke. Everyone stands up again)

Gil: where did mal go?

Jay: I think I know

Evie: then tell us ohhhh. Yeah. Sounds about right

Hadie: where is she. I’ll go to her. Me Evie and Harry

Harry: I don’t fucking think so

Hadie: she’s family. We have to help her

Harry: I’ll bring the coughing

Evie: if that’s going with you then mal will probably commit a sin on sacred ground

Hadie: where is it that she’s gone to?

Jay: you’ll see

(He moves his lower arm around creating a cloud of gold smoke that surrounds Evie and Hadie. When it clears they’ve disappeared. The smoke deposits them on stone steps. Hadie’s clutching Harry’s arm)

Harry: I hate you. I honest to mmmmother hate you

Evie: feelings mutual. Come on let’s go

Hadie: where are we Evie

Evie: where the king was crowned a year and a half ago

(They enter the cathedral . Only Mal is now where to be seen)

Harry: well she’s not here let’s go

Evie: up bup bup. There is one way to lure her out of hiding. Hadie the dagger please

Harry (having flashbacks to when he was 14): no Nono don’t you dare dont you fucking think about it. FUUUUUUCK! She did it

(Evie uses the dagger to slash Harry’s shin. He falls down in pain. Mal pops up from behind the pulpit)

Mal: I heard Scottish screaming (realises she was played) aw crap I shoulda known. I hate it when you do that

Evie: it’s a tested tried and true method. Plus it’s fun to maim him

Mal: yeah...(she heaves a sigh and sits down heavily on the stage) I’m queen. “Yay” I want Ben. Is that pathetic? It sounds pathetic

Evie (sitting down next to her): no. I want Doug. Does that make me ok pathetic?

Mal: no. It’s a change though. Did you ever think two years ago we’d be wanting our boyfriends here protecting us?

Evie: two years ago I wanted to sink my claws into a prince. Now I have the perfect man

Mal: no, the perfect man bypassed you and asked me out. But Doug’s a close second though

Evie (cackling): bitch

Mal: sister. Older by a day

Hadie: May I scoot in if we’re sharing things?

Mal (making a space for him between her and Evie): sure. What do you want to talk about?

Hadie: I never knew my mother. And before you say “don’t rub it in”. I wasn’t born on the island. I’m an Olympian by birth. But when Adam set the isl...you know what, let’s just call it what it is. When Adam created the prison he convinced our beloved uncle Zeus to put our dad there first. Theory was that if Satan could be subdued by a human. Then other “undesirables” would be easier to round up. So when I was two weeks old, Zeus and Hypnos used their combined magic to put him and I there. I have never known anything else. And the next year Hook uh “hooked up” with a street walker, Harriet. And uh

Evie: not a lot stuff to do over there

Mal: well you know except

Evie: don’t. Please. Don’t. It’s bad enough I’m related to that thing on the floor. But having to imagine THAT happening. Gah...it crosses a line

Mal: thanks for the nightmares

Evie: you started it.

Hadie: I’m a hedonist. A disciple of Dionysus to be precise

(Evie looks at him with her mouth agape)

Evie: well that took a turn

Mal: what is a “disciple of Dionysus”?

Evie: it’s basically some sort of cult. Mostly guys. Girls are there as well. I had the unfortunate honour of delivering a flyer to one of their clubhouses last month

Hadie: sorry about that. I told them to be a little bit more discreet after that

Mal (overjoyed): no

Evie (slightly sick): it can’t be

Hadie: I was eighteen and bored. What else was there to do but set up a club

Evie: try to find us.

Hadie: whenever I wasn’t with my friends or our dad I checked up on you. One time you were trying to puncture the barrier with magic. And another you were crying in an alleyway Mal. I even tried to make a wig for you when you were in the market place with a buzzcut Evie.

Mal: that’s actually quite sweet.

Hadie: I just want to tell my mother “don’t worry. My life wasn’t completely terrible. I’m happy”.

Mal: when this is over I wanna tell Maleficent “fuck you, you giant living accessory, fuck you”

Evie: I want to tell Grimhilde. “You were wrong. Princes are not for me, Doug is perfect for me and I eat what I want when I want”

Hadie (wistfully) and Mal and Evie (vengefully): I cant wait to see the look on her face

(This is when “hey look ma, I made it happens. At the school Gil has a peace offering)

Uma: what the hell are these?

Gil: berries. They’re amazing. Blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, fun fact, never get in a strawberry eating contest with Mal. You will lose. And need your stomach pumped

Uma: this is this supposed to make up for what you did? You betrayed me. Abandoned me for this. No amount of whatever this shit is is gonna erase that

Gil: I didn’t leave because I wanted to hurt you Uma. I left because it was best for me. You know as well as anyone that the island is an awful place for people like us. So, yeah, I left. But that’s what you wanted. I did what you wanted. Just not how you wanted it to happen. The fact of the matter is Uma, you scare me. I still love you. But you scare me. All I could think of at the dance when you were attacking the ship was “this is what I get for trying to be happy”. I still have nightmares about it. If you care so much about getting kids off the island why were you so mad that I left. Irrespective of who I left with. Shouldn’t you be happy I got away at all?

Uma (standing up to her full height which just barely reaches Gil’s chin): you left me. To go galavanting off with them. You may not think it. But a lot of sins are never forgiven. So no. I’m not “happy that you got away” because you betrayed my loyalty to do so

Jay: Gil, buddy, leave her to stew. She’s not worth it.

(Gil leaves heartbroken and joins Carlos and Celia near some of the sleeping students)

Uma: lemme guess. You’re his bit on the side? Or is he your chippy?

Jay (chuckling sarcastically): oh Uma. He’s with Lonnie. I’m with Carlos. He and I are not together. But he’s done so well here. He’s great at chess and tourney and R.O.A.R. He’s set up a book club. Every month he goes to the isle and hands out flyers and food and blankets and weathers the hate he for it. He’s a good guy. And him “disrespecting you” wasn’t malicious. Because here’s the thing. You seem to be belabouring under the impression that this is your story. It’s not. It’s ours. It’s always been our story. Mal and me and Carlos and Evie. You don’t even get a look in until way way after this whole thing started. It is not about you. It has never been about you. I’m just sorry you still think that after all these years.

Uma: you don’t deserve to have people celebrate you after what you did.

Jay: what about what you did. You set Harry on Carlos five years ago. You kidnapped Ben and tried to murder him to get under Mal’s skin. Face it “Captain”, you say that what you do is for the island but it’s not. It never has been. What you did was for you. To make yourself feel less worthless than you are

Uma: so what now? You gonna kill me?

Jay: no. Not today. Not while Mal still feels guilty about the shrimpy incident. But I want you to know something. I would’ve done it you know. I would have murdered you if you murdered Mal and Ben. And neither Evie Doug Carlos or Dizzy could have stopped me. Because that is what you get when you mess with my family. And I would’ve made that thing that follows you around like a fixed mutt clean up your remains. Just bear that in mind next time you try to wrest control from my queen

(At the cathedral Harry’s trying to bandage his leg. Hadie sits down next to him and heals him with magic)

Hadie: there you go. All better

Harry: I guess I should say thank you.

Hadie: nah. Don’t expect you to. But I do wanna show you something.

Harry: what?

(Hadie flicks his wrist and there in a darkened bedroom. A baby’s bedroom. It’s filled with roughshod burlap sack stuffed toys hand stitched and fraying. A makeshift mobile of various coloured glass hangs above a safe looking but old crib)

Harry: where are we.

Hadie: where you should’ve been for the past nineteen years if I hadn’t panicked and took you to the Jolly Roger.

Harry: this is my room? At the wherever it’s was you lived.

Hadie: our room. At the lair.

Harry: holy shit. You two. You two wanted to

Hadie: yeah. Dad wanted to keep you. But I was four. You got stuck on the way out. I thought I broke you.

Harry: yeah well, a lot of people would say that there is as nuffink you coulda done

Hadie: I could d waited for dad to wake up. I could’ve asked her what to do.

Harry: like you said you four. When I was four I went down to the docks to try and get rid of ol leftie here. Thought it’d get dad to like me

Hadie: I know. I heard the story. Tick-Tock wouldn’t go for it.

Harry: why settle for the after mint when you can have the rotting steak? You can still see the scar. Look.

Hadie: is that why you carry the...

Harry: the hook? Yeah. That and added protection. For some reason people don’t really like me. Might be the skull face. I dunno

(Hadie laughs. Evie enters the illusion)

Evie (drolly): how sentimental

Hadie (brightly): hey sis

Evie: I mean I haven’t been this choked up since got a chunk of moussaka caught in my throat

Mal (also crashing the conversation): Doug made her laugh at a state dinner eight months ago.

Harry: well I’ve seen him. He doesn’t have to do much.

Evie: have you ever had a telekinetic wedgie?

Harry: no

Evie: oh. Then we’ll be in for a treat then

(Her eyes glow briefly, the illusion breaks and Harry’s lifted ten feet in the the air by the back of his underwear yelling in pain all the while)

Evie: you know, I’ve been thinking. The ember is defunct because calamari thee it in the bay. So we need to reignite it. And correct me of I’m wrong but hades has a massive temper problem?

Hadie: not for years but yes.

Evie: and Hook is the angriest person I know. So. If he by some twisted non miracle gets his hair set on fire while he’s holding the ember then it can work again.

Hadie: don’t appreciate the word phrasing. But I understand the general idea

Harry (bored): so how’re you gonna do it. Beat me up. Conjure up my worst fears.

Evie: talk to you. I’m just gonna talk to you. Believe me. It’s gonna hurt me a lot more then it hurts you. At least not physically

Harry: like I give a shit. Just get on with it so it can be over. Who’s got the pebble

(It conks him on the side of his head)

Mal (sarcastically): oops

Harry: ok first off. I hate you and your carcass needs to be burned with you still breathing.

Mal: immune to fire.

Harry: I meant iron.

(Mal lunges are him it Hadie holds her back)

Evie: now where was I? Oh yes. Breaking your spirit. You realise of course everyone hates you. Your father, us, Jay, Carlos, Ben. Hell. Even Gil only hung around with you out of pity. And Uma. The first chance she got she dumped you like yesterday’s trash. Because that’s what you are Hook. Trash. Useless rotting disgusting trash. Nobody loves. Nobody cares about you. Nobody wants you around.

Harry (nervously): Uma

Evie: threw you away and branded you traitor the minute you questioned her judgement. She never wanted a first mate or a, whatever it was you were to her, she wanted an easily malleable, easily swayed, lapdog. That’s all you were to her “Icarus”.

Harry (voice brittle): Harriet

Evie: lied to you for nineteen years. To save her own skin.

Harry (weakly): stop. Please. Stop

Evie: sorry for what I’m about to say Mal but it’s necessary. (Turning back to Harry). Did you stop when Carlos begged you to stop chasing him in the market that day. Did you stop when dizzy asked you taking all the money from the till? No? Then why the hell should I stop now? Face it Icarus. Nobody wants you. Nobody likes you. Nobody loves you! You mean nothing to anyone. You were born useless. You will die useless. So stop wasting everybody’s time and just do it. Die like the dog you are!

(Harry roars and lunges at her. She evades him easily and he crashes into the stage. He stands up. The verbal beat down worked. His eyes are glowing blood red. His hair on fire in the same colour. The ember has reactivated)

Harry: now it’s your turn

(He shoves his palm out and Evie’s thrown into the wall. Brass candle stands wrap around her neck and starts to dig into her skin. Evie screams hits and kicks at the air. Mal calmly walks up to Harry, uses the sceptre to stab him in the back and pulls out his heart)

Mal: put her down gently. Good. Now lie down like the bitch you are. (She notices Hadie looking at her in horror) what? Did you really expect me to touch him with my bare hands? Here you go (she swings the aorta over to him). You can put it back. You alright E?

Evie: yeah I’m ok. I’m just going to stomp on his face with SPIKED CLEATS!

Hadie: that horrible experience worked. Now we gotta try to make it work for all of us

Mal: how. And don’t say what I think you’re gonna say because I am not working with him

Hadie (sane time as her): we need to work together as a family

Evie: fuck

Mal: how’d you propose we do this then.

Hadie: friction. I think. When I got us out of the isle I rubbed the ember

Harry: and covered it in your own blood

Hadie: yes. So if we replicate that. Then maybe. Just maybe. We’ll all be able to use it.

Evie: good plan. But again. How do we all do it. Cause in case you haven’t noticed. There’s three of us. And one ember.

Hadie: Harry’s here as well

Evie: I know. I intentionally left him out. To me he doesn’t count.

Hadie: well dear you’re going to have to get into his headspace.

Mal: my Scottish accent is legally classed as offensive

Evie: it’s true. Absolutely fucking horrendous

Hadie: heh?

Mal: one time in class we had to put ourselves in the shoes of evil we hate most.

Evie: all four of us chose Harry.

Harry: now ya see what I gotta put up with?

Hadie: indeed I do.

Mal: gargh! Fine. We’ll do what you think is right. But only because I need to stop Maleficent. Ok.

Hadie (smoking giddily): ok

Evie: urgh fine.

Harry: whatever it takes for me to get away from these two twigs

(This is when “friction” happens)

[ingayderzim]

not to be that person who asks a googleable question but wtf is hazbin hotel bc i googled it and the only “critical” thing i could find was a typo-ridden article of someone saying it has good animation and its haters are stupid. i was able to glean what it is/what it’s about but idk about the discourse lmao

Im actually so glad u asked this. Here's the lowdown, this is my definitive answer to hazbin shit from here on out, unless new info comes about of course.

Hazbin hotel is an independent cartoon by vivziepop. Most people (that ive seen) have agreed that the pilot of the show really isnt that great but the reason it has so many fans is bc of the entertaining livestreams, massive amounts of canon content produced (she has had these characters for years), unique art style, and the characters. (Ass ugly but unique.)

Its haters are totally justified bc of some of the "controversial" (read: bad) things vivziepop has done. Here's the conclusion that my friends and classmates (several of whom are Black, one Hispanic woman, and one trans woman...nellie if ur reading this i 💜 u) and i came to after discussing this stuff. I am NOT saying "well my black/trans friend said it's ok so i dont have to think about it!" this is based on a few different conversations that my friends and i have had about this topic so what im saying is that my opinion was formed by talking about this situation with multiple people affected by the controversy.

One controversial thing is a drawing u can easily find on google (called beastiality.jpg i believe?) It's a cropped (chest and up, but hes obv naked) drawing of vivziepops character, drawn by vivziepop, moaning, with a snake around him. The character is 17. Many people have interpreted this as child porn. I dont think this image is pornographic, i think it's a stupid joke (it was even tagged as a joke iirc) and completely inappropriate but since it's 8 years old on top of not being porn, i think it's just an example of a dumb drawing. That being said, i would NEVER argue that someone who is uncomfortable w the drawing (im uncomfortable with it! It's gross just not porn) or considers it porn is wrong. They are entitled to that opinion and i would never expose them to vivziepops work or talk about her stuff around them if they expressed to me that they disliked the image.

Another thing is that she drew a doodle of two racist TERFs. This is the one where my friends of color, my friends who are black, and my friends who are trans women took the lead. I sat back for this part and here's their and my opinion on this after talking about it and verbally going through this whole situation.

She was following these women (who had done blackface and stuff) and drew art of them. The art was a "quick doodle" that she did apologize for and she said she didn't realize the extent of their beliefs. She knew they werent great but hadnt consumed much of their content in depth. I believe her bc while ive never followed anyone as bad, ive certainly followed some pieces of shit and didnt notice for months simply bc im not online all the time and bc of the volume of people i follow, combined with the non chronological algorithms lately.

At the risk of screwing myself, im going to admit that there was about a year or so of my life where i enjoyed The Amazing Atheist. I was even subbed to him. I was a nonbinary lesbian (2 things he cant stand lmaoo) in catholic school and therefore i strictly watched his videos about theological stuff since thats what was frustrating me at the time. I had no clue the type of evil racist, transphobic, homophobic (yes ik hes bi), misogynistic things he thought, said, and did, bc i didnt watch those videos. I literally only watched select theological ones that could be of use to me while edgily debating my teachers (sorry mrs macdougal but u had it coming). I was about 15 at the time and im 19 now. Im sorry to everyone i hurt by ever having supported him. I had one of his quotes written in the inside of my religion notebook in high school. I regretted it and ripped the page out the moment i discovered the truth about him. I cant stress enough how much I HATE HIM. Thats an example of what i think happened here tho.

One of my friends who is a trans woman said (paraphrasing) "i think the worst thing shes done is that terf art but i believe the apology especially bc it was a quick drawing."

That being said, i would NEVER argue with someone who wanted nothing to do w vivziepop bc of this. That's their right. 100%. I would never expose them to her work after that.

The last thing i remember is something about a pedophilic couple in a comic but i heard it was a 17 year old and a 19 year old. Im 19 and if one of my peers did that i wouldnt say pedophile but id say ur a fucking weirdo, BUT, the kids were fake and being written by an adult so i can totally see her thinking that age gap is much less of a big deal than it really is. Like she forgot what it's like at this age. Idk how true any of that part is tho, i heard that info entirely secondhand.

Another thing to do with racism is that there's a joke within the show where one character says to the other

"don't get your taco in a twist"

"Was that supposed to be racist or sexist?"

"Whichever one pisses you off more"

I thought that was gross but one of my friends pointed out that vivziepop is of el salvadorian descent so that's her business. Like if i made a lesbian joke of equal or greater offensiveness than that and someone tried to call me lesbophobic over it id be like "that's literally my territory."

Oh speaking of which that character's name is vaggie and shes a lesbian but it's not pronounced w the same G you'd hear in "vagina." Vivziepop seems to name characters weirdly (like how in helluva boss theres a guy named blitzo and the o is silent) so maybe it's a pussy joke but i have no idea.

The animation was.................better than i could do, i wanna say the faces and gestures were good but god i remember there was a part with a car and my gf had to pause so i could laugh my ass off at it. I wouldn't describe the animation as a highlight but i liked the style in motion i thought it was a fun change. Vivziepops style is not appealing imo but i appreciate it as an art student and as someone whose friends all like she ra and steven universe where every character looks the goddamn motherfucking same, and while its chaotic and i dont care for it, the style actually works way better in motion than you'd think.

A good rule that i def use is to assume hazbin fans are guilty until proven innocent. If someone says they dont care about the discourse surrounding it and like it no matter what, RUN! They would support the show even if the creator was in fact a pedophile, or had done the blackface/was a terf herself! They probably support some horrible ppl and are probably "anti antis." A lot of them are minors tho so i'd say block and move on.

So, do i like it or not? Im an art student and all my friends like it so while i didnt think it was funny, i do fuck with it. At the convention this weekend my friends and i had a convo that led to me drawing an ahego hoodie where the faces were angel dust (a character's) face. It was a joke that i could make a killing by selling that in a booth at a con.

Theres really nothing compelling about the show but my friends like it so i join in on their conversations, and i do have a soft spot for angel dust bc he's like a worse, less amazing and gorgeous version of one of my characters, Candy, the love of my life.

A lot of people say the show was edgy/offensive and maybe im just desensitized but besides the taco thing i didnt pick up on that whatsoever??? The Archer episode "Swiss Miss" is worse than helluva boss and hazbin combined and even archer isn't offensive.

Im probably not aware of all the "discourse" (aka people being reasonably uncomfortable by weird and bad shit this random woman has done, and other ppl saying their opinions are wrong when it's literally just an opinion about a show) so if anything she's done isnt included in here it's not to defend vivziepop, this is genuinely all i know. I wouldnt describe myself as a fan of hers.

[adecila]

Game of Thrones – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 8x02 episode analysis (kind of)

…or the episode we should have gotten last week.

And we’re back! I am not here to shit on last week’s episode I actually enjoyed it very much, if you just take it for what it was, but! I cannot help but remark how much better episode 2 has been to us… the writing was very very good and rich, and in character, and it finally feels like GoT and… I honestly don’t know what happened in episode 1. But moving on…

As you can already tell, this is going to my personal summary, thoughts and analysis of episode 02 of season 8. Going to put it all under a cut – spoilers, you have been warned.

Are you an Oathkeeper or on Oathbreaker? Or the Jaime Fucking Lannister Fest

Listen I am not calling this a trial, because it is not. Yes I know they call it a trial in the BTS and Inside the episode.

Dany’s speech about Jaime’s deeds against House Targaryen is very good. As I have mentioned in my preview analysis, this is the first time (third time is a charm ha) that Jaime and Dany speak to one another. She doesn’t know this man. This man tried to kill her and he killed her father.

I got right half of the stuff at least, for what it’s worth. Tyrion looks soooo sooo bad. LIKE YOU KNEW YOUR SISTER? Oh the glare!!! If looks could kill, Tyrion would be dust. LiStEn, Tyrion, honey. Sit down. Jeez, read the room, you are not making it better. Dany is right - why should she trust this man? And Sansa is right there with her… until Brienne speaks. 

Gwen called Brienne’s speech something “almost like a declaration of love” and I think that is so beautiful it hurts. Not a Braime fan, but hey you got fed fam, I am happy for you! I already mentioned in my live blogging that it was either incoherent or just plain retcon to forget that Sansa sent Brienne to KL because she thought Brienne would kill her if it meant a showdown with Arya. But I digress. 

I find it very interesting how Jaime didn’t apologise and his cojones to say so because “we were at war” - and I get it, my dude, Ser Hot Stuff, we all know all is fair in love and war, but I guess it would be ooc for him to apologise. Great delivery, I don’t particularly like NCW but this scene? Top notch. I rate it one doggy style fuck out of one, but so good your legs are wobbly and you can barely find the energy to plop on your bed afterwards. 

The things we do for love… and Bran is back with the fucking shit stirring drama. We stan Bran Starkashian. 

I find it interesting since this is also Dany’s chance to show how she rules - Lady Sansa says her opinion, which surprises Dany. Then she turns to Jon, who the entire time has been very very quiet. Like the kind of quiet you are when you have the biggest hangover and you are stuck in class and you just want it to be over with. So Jon says what he could say to get the fuck out of there. “We need every man we can get.” So Jaime is given his sword back after Grey Worm literally gives him the I AM WATCHING YOU BITCH glare. 

But Jon’s chair is not facing forward, it is slightly oriented towards Dany’s. Notice how he doesn’t look at her, even when she addresses him directly. She gets up and everyone does so afterwards FINALLY SOME FUCKING RESPECT and she turns to Jon… and he doesn’t even look at her… and my baby looks heartbroken because he just ignores her *coughs* As soon as the meeting ended, he rushed out, not giving her a chance to say a word. *coughs*

In defence of Jon… Know what, we’ll talk about Jon later, when we get to the reveal. 

Oh and Bran totes doesn’t care about Jaime enough to expose him in front of the entire Great Hall. Because ya know, he is a drama queen, but he keeps his cards close, he either already has a plan for Jaime or as he said, and as I have predicted from the preview, it serves no purpose to expose Jaime for what he did to Bran. Like just click on it and read it. Good that Bran called him out on his apology naaah bitch you don’t get to go holier than thou here. It is what it is. 

Me at Bran this episode:

Jaime and Tyrion’s conversation is very interesting, not only about Dany in general whether she is worthy or not, and Tyrion seems to be team Dany. Was it just me or Tyrion more like whispered the part where he talks about Cersei’s baby. Also also listen Jaime, unless you’re suddenly a gynaecologist how the fuck do you know she is not lying? I loved how Tyrion called Jaime out on the fact that he loved Cersei despite knowing full well what and who she was. Dude let’s call it what it was. Don’t play coy now. 

Ding ding ding Tyrion mentions marching to KL and killing Cersei … and that’s all I am gonna say about it.

Jaime x Brienne wow this ship is getting so fed - enjoy babies ! And I loved how Brienne was suddenly WHY ARENT YOU INSULTING ME I DONT KNOW HOW TO INTERACT TO YOU !!!! Brienne is leading the left flank and Jaime wants to be led by her. Keep in mind for next week’s episode! I am so proud of my son Pod, I am basically proudmom!Brienne tbh. 

The episode in which Dany gets a lot of counsel - because that’s also the type of ruler she is 

Tyrion x Varys x Jorah vs Dany - Dany gives the best scolding ever tbh. Moms, take notes, because look at Tyrion’s face. He knows this Christmas when the NK comes he will only get coal. No whores and wine for Tyrion. He was naughty boy.  

KHALESSI - Listen. I don’t like Jorah in the books, and my impression of show!Jorah has always been tainted by it. But this Jorah is redeemed and deserves to live I WILL RIOT IF HE DIES. The scene he has with Dany is one of my favourites because it just shows how much history they have together. I will sob if he dies because he is the only one left from S1E01 with her.  Jorah tells her to forgive Tyrion and seek out S.ansa to smooth things over. MY BEAR

S.ansa x Daenerys - First time I thought it was going well, they were bonding… and then S.ansa leaned forward and the hand placing seemed a bit too deliberate to me, too Margaery. What I am trying to say is that it is very hard to know if S.ansa is being genuine. It is a very good scene and it holds a lot of importance later on, more on that when I talk about the reveal in the last scene (and I this is what I wanted from episode 1 - cold but courteous.) 

S.ansa tells Dany Jon loves her and that “men do stupid things for the women they love, they’re easily manipulated” - which, fair point; she saw Cersei and Margaery do it. Buuuut she also had the counter-argument: she saw how Littlefinger manipulated her aunt. So it goes both ways, bby. 

“All my life I have known one goal: the Iron Throne […] until I met Jon 

INTERRUPTING THIS PROGRAMME TO FLAIL BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WE FINALLY HEAR DANY CALL HIM “JON” ON SCREEN YES YES FUCKING FINALLY THANK YOU BABY JESUS AND MARY AND THE ENTIRE TEAM OF 12 APOSTLES  

“Now I am here, half a world away, fighting Jon’s war alongside him. Tell me, who manipulated whom?”  - I love how Dany turns the tables here, because she is right; if Dany was manipulating Jon, then how come she is the one here, fighting with all her men and resources and dragons? Who gains from this more? SEE S.ANSA IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN- 

FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING CONTENT. 

Then S.ansa goes for that smile ugh and agaaaain I am having soooo much trouble taking it for genuine. 

“I am here because I love your brother and I trust him and I know he is true to his word […]” I AM DEAD DEAD DEAD 

And then it goes to shite because S.ansa is now clearly drawing inspiration from Theresa fucking May since she has no fucking skills to bring up Brexit - is it Nexit? Dany retreating her hands tho - she feels played LIKE REALLY BITCH I WAS SPEAKING FROM MY HEART AND YOU WERE JUST BUYING TIME HERE. 

Theonsa everywhere - or the ship you never thought would happen in this show yet you can’t help but ship it 

That hug!!!! Wow I loved it!!! Sophie and Alfie killed it. Also watch Dany in the background - my baby!!! Do you know how hard it is being around people with big families when you’re… alone? It’s fucking depressing, and I just want to hug Dany and carry her to safety. 

We got 3 Theonsa moments (and one was a Jonerys parallel so you know the romantic undertones are strong) in this episode soooo yeah! Enjoy! I am afraid they are setting Theon up to die, especially since it would be poetic cinema.jpeg for him to die defending Bran after he took WF from him.

Also also feels like book!Theon and show!Theon are colliding again. 

The Merry Men and the Night’s Watch leftovers ; and Ghost for 3 seconds - you’re welcome ; the Hound and Beric; Missandei and Grey Worm

Tormund calling Jon “little crow” was fucking everything! did you catch Jon’s smile??? Precious baby!!! And then asking about Brienne!!!! But did you catch Jon’s face when he saw Sam was also there - like ugh you again - BYE 

Missandei x Grey - one of them is totally dead BYE I AM GONNA FLUNG MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW 

Sam x Jon on the battlements - ugh Sam really you are looking soooooo bad right now. Jon’s face is again precious. He is so over Sam atm and he is just like WHEN WILL THE NK COME FOR ME BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO STAY ONE MORE SECOND WITH THIS BITCH ISTG– Then I got emo when Edd came up. Damn. Watch Edd die too… I feel it in mah bones. That’s how the last of the NW dies. 

Arya x The Hound - I get soooo many dad feels from the Hound tbh and I love it. My guess the Hound makes it. Beric tho??? hmmm Idk about that. 

Tormund is fucking insane and I love him

THE BRIENNE KNIGHTING WAS EVERYTHING AND I CANT EVEN LOOK AT THE GIFS WITHOUT SOBBING MAH HEART - also!!! Dunk and Egg reference - Brienne parallel?? And the title of the episode! ugh Summerhall references? BRIENNE DO NOT DIE 

Sam gives Jorah Heartsbane - Good. It’s what Jorah deserves. *pushes Sam out of the shot*

Pod singing Jenny’s Song is tearing me apart and making me sob harder I FUCKING LOST IT AND I AM STILL GETTING CHILLS YALL THIS WAS FUN. SEEMS EVERYONE DIES. No, I jest. But I love how they paired up the couples for a tragic love song - Brienne x Jaime, Sam x Gilly, S.ansa x Theon, Arya x Gendry, Missandei x Greyworm, Jon x Dany. I wouldn’t look too much into the song choice tbh, since in Inside the episode they say they knew they wanted a song and they just picked this one and added more verses since it was incomplete. I know this is the second Summerhall reference, but ya know, I personally wouldn’t look too much into it.  Edit: I should have never trusted D&D - now go read these amazing posts made by @tomakeitbeautifultolive in which she explains the song and the significance for Jonerys. Also Ramin Djawadi spoke about the song and fed our fandom just today (April 25th).

The War Council or let’s gather around Bran Starkashian so he can spill some tea on the NK

Plan sounds basic imo, not that I had expected much about that, but in Miguel we trust and we know he will absolutely crash this battle in episode 3. 

Interesting how the casually dropped that apparently the NK’s goal is to destroy Bran. And the mention of the mark - so now basically Bran is chipped. Cool beans. Sam’s remark about “death is forgetting, being forgotten is very interesting. Memories don’t come from books, your stories aren’t just stories.” - interesting take here. I Sam writing the book about Jonerys? If so I am afraid he has A FUCKING BIAS OMG I AM GETTING HEATED AGAIN. Also my friend @iane-casey  was totally annoyed how much screen time Sam got which honestly same dude I am still pissed at you *joins Jon to brood and glare at Sam*

Dany publicly makes a point in that she still needs Tyrion aka he is forgiven so that there is no bad blood between them. 

Lmao my friend @zavocado says we should totes just tape Bran to Drogon’s belly and lure the NK away from WF *grabs the duct-tape* 

FINALLY A MAP: listen, they are outnumbered as fuuuuck… besides that it is clear that Dany’s forces will get the most hit since they are in the vanguard, Birenne on the left with the Knights of the Vale and some Stark forces, on the right we get the rest of the North, and the Mormonts are inside the gates! 

Jon walks on Dany a second time - Dany stops as the room clears out (Qhono and Jorah and Varys behind her), looks expectandly at Jon, he doesn’t look at her (MY BABY BOY HE LOOKS SO ROUGH DID HE EVEN SLEEP?), falters “Your Grace”, and bolts. She falters, her face is all WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING and she clears the room too. More on that at the end.

Gendrya or the OTP you did not know you need and why you fucking need it

First of all, this fandom is so pure. I loooooved all the Gendrya on my dash from episode 1 and then this episode I got flooded and I am here for it bitch. Give me all the feels.

I cannot wait to see Arya with her new weapon!!! 

GENDRY IS SO SHOOKETH BY ARYA AND I LOVED THAT SHE TOPPED HIM

I HAVE A SON YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER LET’S JOIN OUR HOUSES

The gendrya - jonerys parallels??? EVERYTHING JUST WOW

Jonerys parentage reveal 2.0 or the reveal Jon also deserved not the travesty he got

I will do a play by play of the scene, but first. Why does Jon avoid Dany? Simple. He is hurting. Since we get the Jaime vs Bran stare down and then we get the Jaime trial, it is safe to assume that happens the morning after Sam blurted the truth to Jon about his mom and dad. 

So at Jaime’s fake trial, Jon had what? A few hours at best to process everything - and by that I mean: Dany is his aunt; Ned lied to him his entire life (no matter the reason, Jon has been raised a certain way and to hear the man who was so honourable was capable of the biggest lie in the realm… das huge! so this is shocking his entire moral compass and belief system built upon the education his dad gave him); his dad actually loved his mom and married her so he is no longer a bastard - ya know aka the thing that affected his entire life and the thing he wanted most; his mom died giving birth to him and she managed to think of him in her last moments, enough to make Ned promise her he will take care of her son; the fact that if Robert even caught a whiff of it, he would have been dead. SO that is a LOT LOT. 

Which explains why Jon was so out of it when he is asked about Jaime. Also explains why he bolts out of the room without looking at Dany - I think if he had even so much as looked at her he would have broken down. He isn’t ready for it.

Oh the stuff I mentioned he had to come to terms with? On top of all of it we must add the stress of finding a way of telling all of this to Dany in a way that he doesn’t hurt her. Also I bet your ass he thought there was a chance she may not believe him (he himself did not in the beginning)… and a chance she may think he wants the throne since Sam drilled this into his head so now he is afraid of that too. 

So when Jon is in the war room he had what? around 12 hours in total since Sam told him? 15? 20? Do you think that’s enough? Because I don’t. But this time he is doing much better. So he is still not looking at Dany, but he addressed her “Your Grace” and leaves - which means he is already in a better place than where he was in the morning, but not quite there yet. 

This is good angst. We should rejoice, it will hurt before it gets better. 

Moving on. Why didn’t he just directly go to Dany? I honestly don’t think it’s in Jon’s character to seek out comfort. This is a kid who had no one to go to when he would hurt himself. That shit stays with you. You don’t just flip a switch and start seeking out your other half. No, in moments of stress the brain reverts to things it knows bets, to muscle memory and old habits; it uses the energy to overthink itself to death so ain’t nobody got time for that new behaviours shit. At this point jonerys have been together for how long? 3? 4 weeks? That’s not that much. They are used to each other, but not enough to break old habits and past traumas. 

Now, the reveal: 

Dany stops, silently asking permission before she approaches Jon. Poor bean must be a bit hurt that he avoided her twice, so better make sure he actually wants her company. Jon actually smiles at her, even if it is a sad smile. It kills me how he is just staring at him mom’s statue. KILLS ME. Only then, she approaches him (look at her face, brief relief!). She stops next to him, he turns to her and nods, and only THEN SHE EMBRACES HIS SIDE, HOLDING HIS HANDS, CHIN TO HIS SHOULDER.

“Who is that?”

“Lyanna Stark.” Jon eventually says

Dany looks a bit like oh… shit, again my family yikes… I would say she looks apologetic. “My brother Rhaegar, everyone told me he was decent and kind. He liked to sing. Gave money to poor children. And he raped her” - ok but this is big, because Dany just in S7 recognised her own rape… So no wonder her opinion on Rhaegar is not that good atm. 

“He didn’t” 

Dany looks shook, but she is still holding onto Jon. Notice how his hand is on hers? 

“He loved her.” 

She doesn’t interrupt. Jon almost looks like he is feeling brave, so he keeps her hand into his and turns to face her. 

“They were married in secret. After Rhaegar fell on the Trident, she had a son. Robert would have murdered the baby if he ever found out and Lyanna knew it.”

Dany is surpised, but so far so good. Jon stares into her eyes.

“So the last thing she did as she bled to death on her birthing bed was give the boy to her brother” – camera on Emilia — oh shit for a split second it starts to show that she is putting two and two together – “Ned Stark” – her eyes widen and she blinks – “to raise as his bastard” – she exhales, breathing accelerates – “My name,” – breathing heavily on her part –  “my real name” -- she looks incredulous and nods a smal no – “is Aegon Targaryen” – she blinks, exhales, puls away her hand and turn halfway away from Jon. 

She looks away, then at him, he is almost leaning over her but still too far. “That’s impossible.”

Camera on Jonerys

“I wish it were.” (SEE THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING MY POOR SON)

“Who told you this?”

“Bran. He was it.”

“He SAW it?” She sound clipped, the ARE YOU KIDDING ME tone clipped 

“And Samwell confirmed it.”He read about their marriage at the CItadel” – camera on Emilia —”without even knowing what it meant” (OK BUT FUCK OFF SAM GILLY READ THAT) - Dany’s face her, she is clearly restraining herself because this sounds insane.

“A secret no one in the world knew, except your brother and your best friend, doesn’t seem strange to you?” she shakes her head and it breaks my heart how you can see the wheels turning in her head going fuck here we go again, I laid my heart bare and that’s it. Yet another betrayal. 

Camera on Kit. He looks at her, takes a step forward “It’s true, Dany.” – camera on Emilia – “I know it is.” (UM HELLO DANY I AM HYPERVENTILATING BITCH)

Dany shakes her head, her face looks full with distrust. Then it goes to despair - her voice shaky “If it were true, it would make you the last male heir of the House Targaryen.” – camera on Kit HE FUCKING FROWNS LIKE WHAT – camera on Emilia – “You’d have a claim to the Iron Throne” – camera on Kit and his face goes again WHA— 

THEN THE FUCKING HORN SOUNDS. Jon turns his head towards the door, but Dany keeps staring at him and she looks heartbroken.

They go out and it’s all business. He nods to her and she leaves. Interesting though - she comes out first. Jon turned back towards the sound so if they were just running out he should have come out first. Either he remembered to be courteous or there is another small exchange we didn’t get to see. Or maybe I am reading way into things and it was a lame ass decision hahah. 

Ok so the reveal to Dany - you better fucking take notes Sam cuz this is how you do a reveal: being calm, level headed, explaining to the person as much as you can, answering questions.

On Dany’s reaction: my friend @oadara said it so so well in this post here. So, building on that, we need to put her reaction in context, just like I did with Jon’s cold shoulder. Dany’s discussion with S.asnsa is fresh in her mind, not just the part about who is manipulating whom, and that must drive her nuts now, but also the part in which S.asnsa did a 180 on her just when she thought she was making progress, so feeling like she was being manipulated. One of course must start asking questions. Has Jon just found out? Has he always known? Did he seduce her to take her armies and her dragons her her throne?? Moreover, Dany specifically tells S.ansa that her only goal in life has been the Iron Throne. Imagine that - having one goal in life, and suddenly someone comes in and can just rip it all away from you, poof just like that, they just need to say the word. Moreover, males have preference… and so many would rather follow a male than a female. And that’s a fact.  

Moreover… she still thinks herself barren… 

Like I am not saying Dany suddenly hates Jon or will cast him away (ok maybe she will initially I have a prediction/theory I will explain in a different post). I am saying… JUST GIVE DANY TIME. She just found out and now she gotta go save everyone’s ass. Let the girl breathe.

I was asking myself but why would Jon tell her now? If he himself wishes she had never known? I think it may be a very Ned Stark thing - he genuinely thinks he will fall, and he wanted to tell her the truth, because Rhaegar Targaryen may be his dad but Ned Stark is his daddy. 

What do you think? As always, dms and asks are open! 

Will make a preview post and another about my jonerys theory. 

All in all, this episode was incredible and I loved it. I am so not ready for the fight fuuuuuuuuuuuu-

[proverbsofpestilence]

I know this coward blocked us all, but I’m still gonna publish it, BECAUSE I WAS READY TO POST IT JUST BEFORE OUR QUEEN VALENTINA BLOCKED US ALL. I knew you were waste of time, but damn. I guess that’s it for “I don’t care about this discussion and I’m back to my great amazing life”, huh?

tbh I hadn’t planned to respond in the beginning, because of this post:

(that you btw deleted after few minutes and didn’t even mention me like an unbothered warrior princess you are) if there were fucking diplomas in pseudosciense yours should had been taken away after saying that “ENFJ 6 so/sx is the type that’s more able to survive/navigate in the real world”. girl, have you seen sp blind 6? they’re rare, but they’re exist. and you’re one of them.

>I’m replying to you idiots @hitsujinko @proverbsofpestilence on a different post because that’s what you two should have done in the beginning

oh you mean, we should reply to you in different post without even mentioning you and then delete it right away? like you did? wow great, thanks for your tip.

>Hmm no, @syntheticalcomposure didn’t have to be “sceptic” of my post because it said nothing controversial, she just doesn’t fucking know how to read

no, girl. she just noticed that you’re post is kinda. basic. and then commented to straight things out. and you got all defensive and acted like she was attacking you while she was actually agreeing with you. you’re disintegrating and trying to act like you’re better than smarter than all the other people to cover up your mistake. been there, done that.

>And bitch i’m sorry but i’m not attacked at all because you don’t have any power over me, i’m literally chilling on my bed drinking a smoothie and you’re the only one who cares so much about my type but okay

oh I care! because I hoped you would actually type yourself correctly after this whole time. you know, I mentioned I followed you. it was a long time ago, but guess what! I actually liked you. past tense. don’t judge book by its cover, right?

now it’s just entertaining to make fun of you.

>And again, I have no inch of enneagram 6 on my body. Their outlook in life sickens me and it’s completely different to how I survive, if i was a 6 I wouldn’t even be alive lmao. You have absolutely no basis to type me as a 6 other than what you’re projecting into me

you have no inch of 6 in your body and yet u were mistyped as one? :0000 just like u have no inch of 9 in your body and you’re mistyped as one? gotcha.

and you keep. accusing others of projecting. like you’re doing it yourself.

“ew dont call me sweetie, we’re not there yet” okay. bitch. are we there yet? :))

>Also what community??? What the fuck is a community and especially online??? Shut up your soc”

do you think soc blinds are dumb? no, seriously. another prove you don’t understand theory at all. soc blind have poor understanding of social bonds and constructs or just simply don’t even acknowlegde them in the first place. they know what fucking community is. you know. the way a lot of soc blind people use to describe “””typology fandom”””.

also wow! I’m soc. yeah I have fucking soc in my stacking u fucking moron. what are u even trying to prove.

> Which by the way was: you can’t type someone’s enneagram based on outwardly behaviors alone but instead you have to think of the reasons why they do them

don’t worry, you’re not a special snowflake. if INFP 4 so/sp can be typed by one single post alone, you can be too.

>Also what community??? Again with your SOC bullshit???? Who is defending me??? Of what????? The way you all think is so freaking weird

are you serious. like. I know you think I’m dumb. but have some fucking respect for soc blinds. they’re not that fucking stupid as you try to portray them.

>Just because I don’t sound like those stupid infjs here using difficult words and concepts because they’re so smart uwu , doesn’t mean I’m not one

what. who said that. who fucking said that.

>Check how @mowoths expresses her thoughts vs the way I express mine. She’s an enfj, i’m not and you can clearly see how different we both are

she’s not 6. also she’s not dumb. important factor, ya know.

>You: valentina is a fe-dom Also you: valentina is not capable of having the most basic skills of a real fe-dom

yay! and I actually believed you know your shit since you were into it for so long.

>Like… Make a decision????

like u did with your typing that u kept constantly changing back?

>What???? The reason behind this is not inferior Ti. It’s simply because English is not my first language and I don’t know how to express myself correctly in a way that makes sense, especially not to natives or more advanced speakers. If all of you spoke Spanish, i promise I wouldn’t sound “disconnected from everything”. So stop being a bitch just because you understand this language better than I do

babie. sweetie. honey. bitch.

1) I’m not native English speaker neither,

2) you speak English just fine,

3) that’s not a fucking excuse because your English. is just fucking fine. probably better than mine.

>But have you seen my actual aes instead of the shit I reblog? Let’s be realistic: They suck. If you compare them to the aes of the actual high se users

>there are actual parameters that show wether someone’s a high se user or not and i don’t have any of those, not even one

umm what. I said your aes is tert Se. not high Se good.

wait, who was accused who of not being capable of reading again?

>I do have the presence of a gut core but you can’t fucking know that because you have never seen me in real life. And yes, i know people can see through you online but NOT in the way you’re doing it. This is not it. I do have everything a 9 core has but that could only be seen if you actually knew me

oh you have such poor self awareness but you know what type of presence you give off? also. it’s. a fucking. vibe. I don’t need to see you to feel your presence. every single gut core has it. every single one of them. I can fucking talk to person online and still figure out that they have gut core energy. sad you apparently can’t.

>And so-dom??? What the actual fuck???? I am EVERYTHING except that. I have never exhibited any behavior of that ???? I’m a so-blind, the end.

yeah sure. I totally believe you. soc blinds don’t know what community is. don’t realize when someone’s defending them even when they mention them in their own post to support their stand. that’s not like you also automatically assumed I’m friends with synthie just because I agree with her on this topic. like you know. soc would do.

>Okay, okay… I would maybe believe you if you told me I’m a SX/SO because that would make some sense and i typed as that before. Except that i don’t have ANY trait of a sp-blind. Then nope, i’m still a so-blind

okay, so sx/so would make sense because you typed as one before? then why the fuck ENFJ and 6 are completely out of options? you were mistyped as them too. also I love that you keep saying you cannot be this type because either just no or other factors. but don’t worry. most people are able to type people by, you know, observing their behaviour and talking to them. which I just did.

>Also, i’m the most SX-dom to ever exist???? If we could have only one IV, i would simply be SX

nah, you’re not. you have sx, it’s true, but it’s not dom.

>What a stupid argument adjfkrk. I haven’t ended this conversation because a) I’m right and b) who gives a single fuck about an internet discussion????? Do you know all of this literally doesn’t matter in real life????? Do you know i’ll just post this and go back to my amazing life as if it didn’t happen????

wow, so because it doesn’t matter you keep responding? addition: that’s why you blocked as all? also “amazing life”??? can you turn off your fucking 3 fix soc for one goddamn second.

no one taught you that the harder you try to appear as something you’re not, the worse it gets?

>In real life, i’m conflict avoidant and i don’t have to prove that to you

THIS IS REAL LIFE. YOU’RE TALKING TO A REAL PERSON. I’M TALKING TO YOU. A REAL PERSON. YOU FUCKING TYPED THIS ON YOUR KEYBOARD OR ON YOUR PHONE. WHATEVER. YOU SPEND YOUR APPARENTLY SUPER AMAZING IRL TIME TO INTERACT WITH ME IN THE SAME WAY YOU WOULD INTERACT WITH ACTUAL PEOPLE. seeing you in real life would change NOTHING, except I’d be able to see your body language. which honestly doesn’t matter when you’re so obvious to type.

9 would end this conversation a long time ago. An actual INFJ 9 told you that.

>finally the fact that I don’t understand english well enough (again, stop being so fucking condescending about this)

??????SDFfkhkfhjjkKDFKFGFJjkg?YUHRTO7O78??????????????????SDFKDFKDH??? WHERE BITCH. WHERE. you’re projecting. I didn’t say anything about your english skills in my post. nothing. but you’re insecure about it and you’re projecting your fear onto me, thinking I was mocking you for it. why can’t you see the shit you accuse others of doing?

>Also I love that you genuily think I’m an ENFJ 639 SO/SX… As if that wouldn’t be the type most known for their amazing social skills

once again. you don’t know theory. you don’t know what soc blidness actually looks like. you don’t know what Fe is like. you don’t know what any enneagram type is like.

also, sp-blind 6s are rare, but they exists. mostly nothing but a giant mess.

>Literally no one could ever get close to my level of optimism and hope in other people, the universe and life in general

>For 6s, when something goes wrong they literally think their whole life is over. While instead i ignore whatever is going wrong and get back up without thinking

psst. have u ever heard of 6w7? because I just found out your wing!

>I also trust people a lot. Of course I’m not a naive bitch who lets everyone in because I have SP. But what I mean is i don’t distrust everyone and think that they’re all against me and are going to betray me, as 6s usually do. I don’t test people to prove if i should trust them or not. All 6s do that and I think it’s pathetic

you don’t understand what 6s are.

also. everyone thinks 6s are pathethic. including 6s themselves.

>Finally, If I don’t trust myself it’s because of my mental illnesses and countless childhood trauma. Literally every type can distrust themselves. But fuck you for making me bring that up

no one fucking made you bring it up. fucking. no one. stop being so goddamn defensive. stop acting like a victim. stop projecting. stop trying so hard to act like someone you’re not. you could, you know, FUCKING YEET OUT OF THIS DISCUSSION LIKE A PROPER 9 WOULD DO

>If i ever use projection as a defense mechanism, it’s only due to my mental illnesses and what i have always been taught. This was literally the point of my post, every single type can be an emotional mess: as proven by me and my family

“ever”. ha. funny joke.

you realize just because your behaviour can be justified by external something, it doesn’t mean you can’t be a 6? like. for example, you can be a shut in because of your social phobia AND be a 5. one doesn’t exclude each other.

or like fucking me, be a 6 and have clinical anxiety that is actually not fucking related to your type.

>And i’m not acting defensive and attacked??? I’m literally chilling here… and unlike you, studying for my future and doing something productive with my life :) 

wow I’m so unbothered wow :) and chill :) like a conflict avoidant type I am :) like the person that keeps projecting shit :) that doesn’t know when to give up :) that keeps accusing people of attacking her :) that calls people bitches and then delete post because they’re a coward :) that blocks people because she can’t handle admitting she was wrong :) that feels a need to consantly repeat how unbothered she is because god she’s so unbothered :)

>No shit sherlock, there you go again schooling me about something I already know

wow you know this? weird. because u keep proving you don’t know basic stuff.

oh and louder for people in the back.

STOP BEING SO GODDAMN DEFENSIVE. STOP ACTING LIKE A VICTIM. STOP PROJECTING. STOP TRYING SO HARD TO ACT LIKE SOMEONE YOU’RE NOT. AND FOR SAKE OF THIS FUCKING WORLD TURN OFF YOUR 3 FIX SOC BECAUSE YOU’RE LITERALLY UNBEARABLE TO LISTEN TO.

[tumblunni]

Okay I know that kingdom hearts has a bad reputation for sticking crucial plot information on obscure spinoff games but HOLY SHIT I just finally watched a lets play of the fuckin digimon tcg game and found out it ACTUALLY HAS A GODDAMN CONCLUSION TO ANALOGMAN FROM DIGIMON WORLD 1

like 90% of the damn game has no plot whatsoever let alone indicating its a digimon world sequel! and then suddenly in the last battle without being foreshadowed whatsoever analogman returns and gets possibly the best boss battle ever IN A GODDAMN TCG GAME

holy shit his whole fight is framed as ‘this is literally the same guy from digimon world 1, hacking another game’, the interface wigs out and a bunch of fake command windows pop up with rapidly scrolling code of the game supposedly falling apart. And then his boss battle flips the entire gameplay system on its head by giving him fourth wall breaking special moves that pull overpowered effects by “hacking the engine”, with cool animations to fit. Fuckin badasssss!!

and it also fuckin FINALLY EXPLAINS THE DAMN PLOT LIKE GEEZ

digimon world’s conclusion was so rushed, you never even meet the villain until the final battle and it ends all weird with just “something” going wrong that causes him to get sucked into a portal or something while screaming dramatically in weirdly high resolution terror faces??? the tcg game confirms that this was him attempting to flee back to the human world after you defeated him, but one of the stray attacks from the battle damaged his machine and it caused him to essentially commit accidental suicide when he turned it on.

and HOLY SHIT MY FUCKIN OBSCURE HEADCANON IS TRUE????

the game had some sequel bait hints that maybe analogman is somehow still around and that the portal explosion just turned him into “corrupted data” so he can never return to the human world. and i always thought it would be super ironic if he actually got turned into a digimon aka the thing he hates more than anything

WELL OKAY I GUESS CRITICAL LORE IN A TCG GAME IS OKAY WHEN ITS A BIG YES BUNNI U THEORY BE CORRECT

he appears in this game as a malomyotismon who does a damn good vexen face during the fight, lol. And he’s all “gahh that stupid kid ruined my plans but this accursed body at least improved my hacking abilities!” Tho its implied that his corrupted state is more like a bodyless cloud of data that can possess/copy different digimon, which would be REALLY FUCKIN CRITICAL to explaining the goddamn plot of Digimon World Next Order!

Seriously wtf is up with this series? Digimon World 2 is not the sequel to Digimon World 1, all the numbered games are entirely separate individual stories with wildly different genres from pet sim to roguelike strategy. The real sequel is fucking DIGIMON THE CARD GAME THE GAME and then Digimon World Next Order a bazillion years later for the ps4. In which i am STILL REALLY SALTY that they have a FUCKIN RAD remix of analogman’s boss theme yet he doesn’t appear in the game. The added context of this damn tcg game confirms once and for all that the Ambiguous As Fuck Ending actually WAS him appearing in the game, this unexplained “oh wait the villain was good all along and he was just possessed by an evil virus” was supposed to be corrupted-digi-analogman and seriously WHY DONT THEY JUST FUCKIN EXPLAIN IT!!! this tcg game wasnt even released in europe!! and even american fans probably had no clue it was linked to this entirely separate subseries! You have to friggin piece it together with context clues like the battle music and the fact analogman’s signature mon was machinedramon. I mean vjesus christ Next Order is a litera; sequel with the grown up version of Digimon World’s protagonist as a badass home ec teacher who still defends the digital world in his free time yet you couldnt spare ONE LINE OF DIALOGUE mentioning the name of the villain?? and summarizing the fuckin tcg game everyone missed??? AND CONFIRMING THAT THE VILLAIN IS INDEED MAKING A REAPPEARANCE POSSESSING THIS GUY??? oh god everything makes SENSE, thank you terrible card game adaptation. ehh but i do still love Next Order for making Hiro/Mameo’s canon partner Mamemon, he’s even more badass as this big tough bishie version of himself with a tiny adorable pal that can shoot rocket fists through space and time. (its funny tho cos the DW1 intro movie showed metalmamemon and metalgreymon and the american boxart flipped a coin and decided metalgreymon must have been the one the protagonist was using in that scene. Whoops!)

anyway even with the added context that IT WAS INDEED GODDAMN ANALOGMAN, the final boss fight in Next Order was as terrible as the rest of the plot. So I’m glad trash gramps got a suitably badass boss fight after all, even if it was a CARD GAME VERSION! lets all celebrate the awesomeness of this obscure fuckin spinoff game’s obscure fuckin intercontinuity cameo with the boss fight music that other game wasted

seriously fuckin hell the biggest challenge in that final boss was that i was so distracted by SHEER OFFENDEDNESS at the cool music not matching it that it was hard to keep focused

its not just a great boss theme for a terrible boss, its a really fuckin EMOTIONAL song for anyone whose childhood was fuckin defined by the first game!!!

and look you had a PERFECT FUCKIN EXCUSE for a REALLY GOOD boss battle against MY MAN GRUMPY GRANDPA OF THE COOL DAMN NAME. Seriously guys analogman was THE FIRST digimon villain! digimon world came out before the anime, digimon world was the BETA FOR THE ANIME! this was the first place they had the ideas for file island, so much of the areas in the game are awkwardly mistranslated versions of stuff that would later appear in the anime in a different form. before this digimon had never been anything more than a fuckin 2-bit graphics tamagotchi and this was (after the manga) only the second goddamn time these monsters had an actual full colour character design! all of those charmingly janky 90s gross out show styled tcg illustrations? that was concept art that this game was working from! fuckin hell this game thought up the idea for metalgreymon’s changed design that ended up becoming the iconic partner of tai in the anime. (you can also see beta tai in the manga with a beta veemon as a partner instead! o_O)

SO LIKE...

JUST....

I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT ANALOGMAN OKAY!!! he’s a badly written guy with only like five sentences across all the videogames but fuckin hell he was such an Iconique part of the development of this series that they named him fucking ANALOGMAN

like dude you could have SO EASILY made me scream at my tv in a more positive way by bringing him out as the surprise villain and showing us wtf his deisgn is even supposed to look like cos god all we have is a blurry faceless early ps1 model buried under the glow filters of Mt Infinity’s funky background effects.

AND FUCKING

IF IT IS CANON

THAT MY FUCKIN

STUPID THEORY

IS CANON

slap a fuckin O on this man and LITERALLY LET ME BEAT HIM UP

like dont even give him a team or anything, just let me fight THE MAN HIMSELF

you canonically fuckin said he’s a digital ghost now and basically the same as a digimon

let me beat the shit out of a regular businessman in a suit and tie while he pulls his badass ‘i’m hacking the game i’m in’ bullshit from the GODDAMN TCG GAME THAT WAS MORE CLIMACTIC THAN YOUR SHITTY CASH GRAB FAKE SEQUEL

man god i didnt expect a fuckin TCG GAME to revive my righteous fury from back when i first played that piece of shit. i hate it cos Next order is so pretty and its gameplay is so good and i really loved my twin digis but there were SO MANY bugs and cut corners and missing content and really bad writing and GOD it made me so sad that the dub team really really tried, they tried so hard that they got fuckin renamon’s original voice actress back even though the renamon in this game has nothing to do with the anime one. THE DUB WAS REALLY GOOD BUT IT COULDNT SALVAGE THAT SCRIPT!! THE MUSIC WAS REALLY GOOD AND THE ART WAS REALLY GOOD AND THE DIGIMON THEMSELVES WERE MY BEST DAMN FRIENDS FOR THAT MONTH OF MY LIFE BUT THE GODDAMN FUCKIN SCRIPT!!! the postgame was MORE FUN because FINALLY everything opened up like the sandbox of the first game and you could just fuckin hug u digis without being distracted by constant cutscenes butchering your childhood nostalgia

man i wanted to write a fic/draw a comic about my headcanons on how to fix it but i never managed to do it cos holy shit it was basically “throw everything out and make a different game geez” I COULD RAMBLE FOR HOURS ABOUT THE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SEQUEL THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN!! and a fuckin!! tcg game!! was closer to that sequel!!!

and fuckin MY THEORY WAS RIGHT AND MY BETTER GAME IDEA ACTUALLY WOULD WORK IN CANON

fuck it im gonna do draw myself decking business gramps in the face

oh! and the female protagonist design! thats another rare good part of that thing! i loved the pixellization effect on her ponytal, way better than the male equivelant having a very ordinary costume design just with a pixel corner taken out of his jacket. also why did the plot never actually make a thing out of that? like you’d think that ‘unlike every other digimon tamer i’ve got this scar of my digitization’ would be a plot point. like they didnt give everyone else a cool pixel squares mark! they could have at least used it as an excuse why the protagonist is the Only Chosen One who can do all this plot shit. or if it was me i would have made it early foreshadowing for the Return Of Business Gramps, like you were partially infected by the Oooo Mysterious Unexplained Digi Virus (seriously why did they not just have ONE SENTENCE explaining its the fuckin original villain returning????) during the prologue and i dunno somehow that gives you powers to break analogman’s control on the digimon he possesses. or maybe the pixel thing is like a tracking device he put on you? or just give that cool design trait to the protagonist of digimon cyber sleuth instead, whose entire plot is that theyre a digimon human hybrid with literaly the power to pixellize themself into computers.

ALSO!!! actually do something!!! with mameo!!!

they really fuckin hyped up in all the prelease materials that the digimon world 1 protagonist was gonna be in this game and he’s all grown up now. and then he does NOTHING in the plot except babble exposition and stand around your home base. and has one line about how he’s a badass teacher now and his partner is mamemon but hey we made a bullshit excuse for why his digimon is sealed away and he never gets to fight :<

give me an actual cool teamup of new protag girl and her cool teacher dude beating the shit out of business trash with their bare fists and also their digimon’s bare fists while THE BEST DAMN MUSIC GOES UNWASTED

...fuck i sure do Feel Intensely about nostalgic games lol. i wonder if i’ll be so rambley when i play kh3? maybe itd be a really shitty lp, aaagh...

[kamalkizehr]

Thoughts i wanted to unload xp

I understand the view points of many of those in america at the moment republicans and liberal alike but how is having trump any way helpful and is an actual ban on people from different countries or a wall between one neighbour actually that helpful i mean illegal immigrants arent good but a fucking ban a wall loud public statements That are controversial questionable can be taken offensively (dude come on if shoe was on the other foot a lot of republicans would have been offended and go on a gaint Facebook comment section war

Again )

But another question why has the rise of triggerers risen like

There are more republicans who would post or say something offensive just to plain see people react and act like a troll rather than defend their stance on the politcal matters

Which in my opinion the clashes wouldn't have happened if more people (democrats ) went forward with ideas and stances after making sure everyone was on the same page though because frankly if they did i think not everyone would be having so many disagreements

Sure its not offensive, illegal or bad for a guy to wear make up many men have been employed in cosmetics for years eventually they we're gonna wanna show off the skills on themselves for once instead of models or maybe a lot of people are coming out have every right to and but why not try and keep it pg or at least understand not every parent wants their children exposed to something thats hard to explain for a certain amount of time and later when the child is mature or adult enough to understand the topic give more info and allow that freedom so he or she can decide for them selves but at the appropriate age because frankly does anyone else not find 12 year old bisexuals weird

Dude come on this stuff needs a limit everything needs a limit and more education thats key but get on the same page and teach kids math and let them graduate at least before he or she decides to become a weed addicted demi sexual pan romantic traveling artist in Nebraska i mean like

YOU DONT NEED THAT SHIT TO BE SPECIAL

NOR TO BE AN ARTIST

OR ANOTHER SEXUALITY

AND IT DOENST MAKE YOU SUPERIOR OVER ANYONE NOR DOES TRYING TO BECOME A MINORITY

THE MINORITIES WILL ALWAYS NEED TO BE IMPORTANT SO THAT THINGS REMAIN FAIR

BUT MENTAL, PHYSICAL DEASES NEW SEXUALITIES AND GENDER IDENTITIES GIANT ARGUMENTS OVER WHOS WORSE WHOS BETTER AND WHY PEOPLE OF A RELIGION OR A RACE OR CAST SHOULD OR SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED IN A COUNTRY

for one sorry i was shouting but like

I am gonna bring up the stupid over used facts all Americans are immigrants and that not all of them had great lives back in europe which is why they moved isn't there hypocrisy in saying middle eastern people don't get to do that

But again some should stay but why not give elderly, parents and children a pass sure europe has many other options aswell but is it so awful some people choose America fine if its a ban And no dont we dont want more immigrants

Fine just be nice to the ones you have than frankly is that so hard

And dont start Ohhh but feminism is just bitchs wanting to be better

It isnt like that man i mean like moms should get maternal leave

And dads should have time off too to help out

If a woman hits a man or falsely accuses him of abuse or rape should get punished obviously but for God's sake if there weren't so many perverted idiots and guys who think its ok to just go invading a woman's personal space isn't cool and the fear of it is something that is a main reason that's basically help create the giant following

Is it unfair and used extremistly at times ofcourse everything and anything will be misused this is humanity we're talking about not saints or prophets those A**holes left a while ago

(Getting to religion)

But is it so bad to be a feminist really man

Come on for gods sake it isnt its just wrong when it turns biased and in the favour of the other gender which is basically just sexism not feminism

(Can we please agree on the fact there might be a fucking difference!)

And true western countries dont need it as much as middle eastern or south Asian African or south American even might need it but feminism isnt a bad thing (PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT NEVER STARTED AS A BAD THING IT WAS FAIR THEN AND THOSE WOMEN STARTED IT OUT OF JUSTIFIED REASONS AND IT DID BENEFIT BOTH GENDERS LOOK IT UP DO SOME RESEARCH MALE RAPE CASES WERE FINALLY OPEN BY THE FBI THANKS TO THE MOVEMENT IN THE 60'S ITS A THING THAT CAN BE BOTH GOOD AND BAD JUST LIKE REPUBLICAN IDEALS OR LIBERAL AND NEITHER STARTED AS BAD THINGS! )

As well for religion why must everyone use the term not all Muslims are terrorist but all terrorists are Muslims like the liberals have points for that thatsoffensive man seriously AND THAT IS SO NOT HELPFUL AT ALL MAN LIKE

I swear the amount of adults ive seen and met who think their religion is being destroyed and their customs as well because their children have become internet addicted assholes (like myself inculded ) who want to disrespect them their Morals and values and become foreigners and American ofcourse because theyre so cool blah blah blah

(Personally fuck it i kinda like being Pakistani but i do enjoy the internet ) which for some reason has become a the main reason why I get lectured more than i think i really need man i mean my language can turn vulgar and i can be socially a little awkward if uncomfortable but like why is me liking rock music and youtube and having a accent a reason to assume i would rather be American i do love my home and where i am from i am proud of my family and where we come from but why enjoy every thing else in the world aswell and not be considered a traitor or something

(Ok too personal )

Alright maybe what i am trying to get is how come no one can just elect a decent a leader or agree to disagree about things but still respect each other stay open minded but have your morals close by and principles uncompromised biasness is human but why no agree to disagree and leave it at that

The insecurity increasing and old facade of wanting to be rich and famous and not work for it has come back

Help me on patrion, like my video post photo blah blah blah dude just get a job why is it so necessary to work in entertainment for hells sake

I mean its valid you wanna sure go ahead maybe you are worthy but like stolen content and fake stories and new sexualities for gods sake please

(No longer about politics i suppose )

Here's my mind on it i guess

LGBTQA community has every right a straight white male or female would have no more no less but gender and sexuality identification maybe kept a simple (memorable and easier to define on fine paper and print during adoptions divorce marriage leavint the country or not etc ) and that being hetreo, homo, bi, A and pan because that makes sense

Its simple

And works

And as well for gender identification

On fine paper

if you are Male to female m to f

Female to male f to m

Something less explainable just keep it trans

Because frankly leave it at that why not just like why not?

Its simple makes sense justified fair and but isnt over done for some petty individuals looking for attention to take advantage of (ofcourse no guarantees but why not just keep some faith ? )

And no one gets to chose all on paper until after 18 because thats fucking fair

(Come on its not like its illegal to come out say it in public )

And yes none of that would be applied in most countries especially not mine but it would be a good start in my opinion

Any way i think i am done venting my thoughts anyone who is annoyed can ignore (why did you read this much of it and not justgo three lines and decide nah boring lets bail )

Anyone who has an opinion or would just like to talk is welcomed BUT CAN WE PLEASE KEEP THIS CIVIL I MEAN NO DISRESPECT TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING BY THESE STATEMENTS

i was just venting some thoughts

And not trying to force them on anyone or anything but i just wanted this out of my head and see if others agree or not (no not for the purpose to be right or wrong ) but because i can't be the only one who thinks all the political maddness right now was all avoidable and that people are becoming

Weirder

Not in a good sense

Not because of religion race or anything like that just like

Mind sets

I feel like its like the key to harmony and at least balance or peace is right there no one wants to take it

I am probably going to regret posting this but i am gonna anyway not like people actual read my blog or anything

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine

Well, its Wednesday night and Im a bottle of wine in. Its time to love myself like that Hailee girl told me to and turn on some . Because nothing is better for your self-confidence then to watch other people fail. Miserably.

Last year Sams mom got in touch with me and this year its Giannas brother. Who will be next to defend their loved ones on the recaps? Carolinas great aunt? Stay tuned!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Shocker, they all start binge drinking. Cant wait to see how much weight they all gain by the end of the season.

Little Mike is talking to Casandra about all the things he likes to do. These hobbies include taking long walks on the beach, gelling his hair and taking a daily measurement of his penis. His growth spurt is coming, okay?!

Casandra literally looks like a bobblehead and is like OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

Little Mike: I LOVE LAMP

Mike wants to get to know Cas but also low-key hates her for having a family and being #blessed. He legit calls her a daddys girl to her face and shes not even phased. He starts talking about how his mom is broke and his dad is crazy and Im like, woah, did I change the channel accidentally to ? This shit is way too heavy for me rn.

If I could describe the house in three words that they all could understand it would be: Drunk. Horny. Stupid. In that order. Because they arent planning on getting a real job any time after this, they decide to throw an underwear party.

Ozzy is like Kathryn is very sexy, idk what it is about her that I like. He says as she grinds on him in her underwear. Hmmm, I wonder what it could be that makes you like her?

They start making out and he tells her that tomorrow is his birthday. So obviously she has to have sex with him because of THE IMPLICATION. (Name that reference and I will marry you.)

Tyler and Taylor are both like hey this underwear party is fucking gross and Im like FUCK YA TEAM NORMAL PEOPLE.

Tyler is like everyone is acting trashy and Im trying to better myself. Woah, ok. Profound. Tyler def got lost on the way to auditions and ended up on . Either that or hes a fucking narc.

Apparently nothing makes Tylers dick harder than belittling the people you live with and he starts making out with Taylor. Overall, v hot couple.

Then the camera pans out to literally everyone just hooking up. , brought to you by Trojan Condoms.

THE GAME

The game starts with everyone being blindfolded and the boys tied up, which is coincidentally also the first scene of .

The girls have to smell the guys and untie the one they want to take on a date. Because thats normal. The first three couples to finish go on a date.

The girls start sniffing and falling more than cokeheads at an EDM concert.

Kari has some big-ass eyes so every time she talks she looks fucking crazy. Actually, she kind of looks like me when Im high but Im pretending that Im not high so Im overly opening my eyes. Idk, just trying to create a visual.

Karis like “I STUDIED NEUROSCIENCE ONCE IN COLLEGE, PHEROMONES ARE REAL Yeah, no one said they werent#Science.

KARI: This one time, in my neuroscience class

Kari picks Joey the trashman, who I thought smells like shit but I guess not.

Hannah picks Tyler and is like wow, this blindfold makes it so hard to see. I totally respect blind people. Wow, Im sure blind people everywhere feel so fucking complimented. Like look mom, that girl on TV understands my daily struggle for 3 minutes!

They can still hear you being a dumbass, you know.

Alicia smells Andre because he, and I quote, smells like Fritios. This is like the cheapest advertisement Fritos has ever had. Also, Andre its time to get some new cologne.

Andre/Alicia, Joey/Kari and Hannah/Tyler all win and they are going to go windsurfing. Thrilling.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Gianna apologizes to Hayden for being a low-key bitch last week and hes already well settled into his home on friendzone island.

Michael walks by and Gianna is like hanging on Hayden. Michael is very over it and Gianna is like . Fuck, okay.

Kam and Eddie are flirting and being cute and idk I like them so they better not fuck this up for me.

MY MOM: I like the girl with the grey-ish, purple-ish hair ME: Literally their names are at the bottom of the screen.

Carolina is very upset that Joey the trashman is going on a date with KARI (her name will be in all caps now because her eyes just make me feel some type of way). Carolina starts crying and shes like if youre not my match what is my purpose?! In the distance you can hear me screaming ITS WEEK TWO YOU DUMB BITCH.

THE DATE

Andre is the only one who can windsurf and Hannahs like”oh Daddy.” In the words of our President-Elect, everyone else is a bunch of losers. Huge losers! Failing at wind surfing! All talk, no action!

KARI is being really nice to Joey and saying hes fun and shes excited to be there and hes like ACTUALLY Im into Carolina. Woah. Okay, I know KARI may kind of look like Crazy Eyes but she seems nice and shes actually being genuine. So in my drunken state rn I am very mad for her.

Joey has officially moved to my shit list. And I dont even mean that because hes a trashman. Where he quite literally has to pick up shit. Get it? Ill see myself out.

Andre and Alisha seem to be getting along but IDK, they kinda act like little children. They talk a big game about how they are really into each other but I just cant see it. And Im pretty much a fucking expert at this show.

And none for Tyler and Hannah, bye!

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Andre and Alicia to the booth because the house isnt fully brain-dead. Everyone Is like “THEY ARE SO STRONG! THEYRE IN LOVE AFTER A WEEK.”

See, you say strong, I say fucking crazy.

And guess what, Im right motherfuckersNO MATCH.

Alicia starts crying and saying she doesnt want to be here. Damn, okay then fly tf outta here, what?

Hannah is like “HEY I KNOW YOUR HEART JUST BROKE, BUT IM GONNA GO AFTER ANDRE.” Its all about the subtle game. Hannah, could you like, chill your hoe ass down for a sec?

Hannah and Andre are talking and hes like I knew we werent a match and Im everyone at home is like wait you just told Alicia man, thats fucked up.

Andre and Hannah start making out because #drama.

Alicia starts flipping the fuck out and is like YOURE A LIAR AND A FLIRTER AND A MINGLER!!!

Whats a mingler? Just someone who mingles? I feel like thats real nondescript. Im going to need a full definition plz. DM me.

Andres like “THESE GIRLS ARE CATCHING FEELINGS!” Uh, its not just girls. Joeys over here acting like a baby back bitch.

Hoes, am I right?

THE MATCHUP

The boys get to pick tonight and this ought to be a shit show because none of them strike me as scholars.

Oswaldo picks KARI. Random, dont care.

Ozzy picks Kathryn because he wants that birthday sex. Ozzys like she makes me feel like home. Uh, Ozzy thats because you are home. Youre a local, your house is like, down the street.

Jaylen picks Kam, fucking up the thing she had with Eddie.

Eddie picks Shannon, womp womp.

Derrick pity picks Alicia.

Hayden, who is sporting a pair of capris, picks Taylor. Obviously Taylor wants to be with Tyler so this is def a surprise. She actually says those exact words and Hayden has now purchased a summer home on friendzone island.

Tyler says something fucking stupid about how Hayden is doing him a favor? Idk his foot is so far up his mouth and Taylors like 3 seconds away from putting her foot in his ass. So much for team normal.

Andre picks Hannah. Alicia is like “IT IS WHAT IT IS” but also wants to murder Hannah.

Michael caves and picks Gianna. WTF.

Joey picks Carolina and they kiss because THEY ARE DUMB THATS WHY.

Mike picks Casandra because shes his uptown girl.

Tyler picks Tee and they both are like, “Welp. Fuck me right?”

Okay, so this is sketch. Not looking so hot for them rn.

Were waiting for beams and Im drinking, thinking no fucking way are they going to blackout. Its only week 2. But in the words of President-Elect: The polls were wrong! The experts were wrong! Sad!

And yes, THEY BLACKOUT.

They all lost half a million dollars. Im laughing but its a nervous laugh because now they all are going to be on suicide watch or something.

Everyone has to deal with the fact that the person they are with is not their match. No Mike/Cas, Ozzy/Kathryn, Gianna/Michael, Joey/Carolina or Hannah/Andre. WOW. Major blow. Im loving this.

A sad song starts playing and people start crying. Damn, this just got as depressing as Mikes family life.

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from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine