#which is fine and mutual actually
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you did NOT ask but i think to the core, part of the dislike between marion and good old francis IS her job. he's seen this bitch a thousand times at the blank institutes for fucking up children. he's naturally distrustful of her. especially seeing her do his own... friend in like he's a child. it makes him question if the straights are ok, but like, unironically.
#he's been whistled AT as a child#do i think there's a mutually theatric sort of fight there sure#social climbing protestants and all of that#but i think innerly francis is actually the character who MOST opposes bunny in that aspect of control#not henry#henry has the same need for control actually and relinquishes it to julian when he thinks it suits the situation#henry is also asparagus if you will#but francis both because of his... nutjob childhood and his homosexuality evades such needs#he is more in control than either of them frankly#but he unlike the two of them is a genuine coward#once again he's been whistled AT#which i think is the root cause of his inner dislike of her#which is fine and mutual actually#i do Play that marion is one of those people that believes in principles and rules and such but when they dont fit it's your fault actually#where the pipeline from strict teacher to straight denial of reality is ingrained into seeing people like francis as a personal failure#rather than a systemic one#anywho the onion really is#top layer - richard's retelling; middle layer - it was probably about charles; core - they'd literally eat each other alive;
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Can’t wait to visit Iraq and just live blog from there. That will be so fun
#My Iraqi girl era will be THE era of all eras#Like ill probably post the same shit but I feel like it’ll be different when im actually in Baghdad and#Living in the culture vs talking about it#It’ll probably get lost in translation bc I have maybe 7-10 Arab mutuals total but idc this is for me#Plus I feel like I center my American identity a lot so it’ll be nice to be in my Iraqi bag idk#I lowkey feel like im too American for some of my relatives and also some of the locals bc I get told I give#“Foreigner vibes” (what)#But I also genuinely think I blend into it seamlessly too like on my last trip it wasn’t a struggle at all#Like I speak Arabic fine and Baghdad feels like home to me even if I wasn’t raised there#Maybe I dress more western idk I was just in jeans and casual tops most of that trip#I did have issues w what clothes to wear but that’s bc I couldn’t wear my regular shit back there which is fine#It was a grwat time overall I miss everyone I miss the capital
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wanted to adapt the google search results a gay woman got in a japanese drama "tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna" which is good btw.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the most light and gentle version of flirting-like behaviour of all time - a mutual passing thing - a peaceful dance through the long years#a way to work you out.. a way to express something about myself. all these steps are leading up to that beautiful magic#that you read about once. but actually we've been making it all this time... many many steps to this wonderful recipe.#the only non-perfect & non-fated thing about them is that oru is gay but (imo) qif could easily be transfem at any time. don't test him#oru being a woman wouldnt change anything for qif but oru is gay as hell.. However if qif was a woman then it'd be fine anyway no doubt.#oru would give in his membership to the Gay Men's Picnic Club group he goes to and embark on this life instead..many such cases#also i was typing “am i gay” into google when drawing tsukutabe fanart to check what google looks like#and “am i depressed” was the autofill for “am i”. qif's life is like: maybe he would have looked up something like oru did#but he got a bit distracted and started reading about cptsd instead which seemed more pertinent. sometimes childhood goes this way <3#anyway Tsukuritabe..Kinou nani tabeta...And witch hat kitchen.... the trio of gentle silly 30+ gay couple situations..ohh..#orufrey are the combo of those. like tsukutabe they aren't together yet. like kinou nani tabeta they are a long-term couple. beautiful#i will never let go of them. drawing this has cheered me up. they are with me
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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thinking about the whole twt scam situation ™ again ough
#monolith mumbles#gonna rant for a min#like main situation sorted fine#then boom 27 yr old mutual of op comes crawling out the woodworks#i did ask a silly question which i apologized for twice and reiterated TWICE. and they then kept yapping and arguing 💀#like erm i think calling an autistic person braindead at ur big age is weird actually#''omfg are you braindead this is a common scam get it through your thick skulls'' first im a tumblr main. second it clearly isnt common#enough considering op got scammed💀#and i still think im justified being put off that nobody (excluding op) noticed the glaring differences in the accounts 💀 and how it was#up for 10+ hours with no one noticing 💀#along with that they tried to frame it like i thought op had it out for me then said i wasnt important enough for someone to target me#because my twt acc has like 300 followers which. clearly i was because the scammer used my art💀#again twenty fucking seven. 27 DOING ALL THIS#after my final reply i ignored my twt main for like 2 days. which someone else replied saying something that started with#''all this happened because you'' then i just blocked them today before reading the rest. and just blocked everyone involved#like if ur mutual is 27 behaving like this i do nawt want to have any interaction with you at all soz. i also didn't get any priv apologies#instead they were pushing how they were innocent and not accusing anyone of being guilty which. its like you were a min ago#u were accusing ME💀 go d#me miffed about not getting priv apologies is me being petty but im 5'4 im never the bigger person so#I'll stay petty actually#anyway blocked all of them for my own piece hope op gets $60 back somehow but i also want 0 interaction based on their oomf
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Okay somebody should have mentioned that booping on mobile can lag out your whole dash :( I updated my app for this and I hate updating apps :( things are arranged differently and I’ll have to get used to that AND one in every idk twelve boops I have to quit the app and start over?
I’m now the person mentioning it. If you’re going in you should have all of the information.
#won’t stop me from booping every available username as I scroll down the dash#hopefully this is just a booping problem and not an app version problem#or I will have to stop using tumblr and thus become completely divorced from internet goings-on#which would be fine I guess#but still annoying to sacrifice my comfort of an older and familiar version of an app for an impulse trend and have it be disappointing#having the little tag next to mutuals in my notifications is nice though. I never have any actual clue who I’m mutuals with#but what the fuck is communities
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Drew myself a tiny B-day gift.
Her name is Cootie and she is a werefox (a fox who sometimes put on a human disguise)
#it's a long running meme among my twitter mutuals that I am a nonhuman being and actually am some sort of a weird cryptid#a faerie in a form of a fox will do just fine#on each level except physical I am a wolf *woof*#looking forward to becoming your sleep paralysis demon too#yes I have a fursona#I am too old to give a single f about what people think or say#i may be cringe but at least i am free#furry#anthro#anthro fox#corsac fox#I have two sides and one is a mysanthropic vixen and the second one is a non-binary harlequin which is making fun of everything
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actually let's be honest here. If this site ever goes down you won't be able to sense my nebulous tumblr presence in smelling flowers. we will be able to commune on some metaphysical level when you experience that distinct "uh oh!" feeling any time you accidentally spread badly attributed out of context quotes on any platform though.
#1st is a very clearly not serious joke framing of the text read as actual serious interpretation for some reason despite the emojis#2nd was a throwaway quote post shared for the amusement of 2 very specific mutuals. no translator mentioned or anything and now#it has reached that level where there are fandom tags on it. rip lmao#not even thinking about the rest...sorreey#this blog doesnt have many followers which is why i keep thinking sloppy sharing is fine and then.#and then!!!!
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does anyone else feel like they need to Make Fan Content That Is Also Good And Interesting in order to make/keep internet friends so as to be worth other people’s time
#the internet is one big networking tool#genuine question because like. i know it’s unhealthy but i also feel like that’s kind of the economy created by the internet#i’m not advocating it and i’m also not trying to be self-deprecating#i was never great at art and i haven’t posted anything i’ve written in like 5 years#like for example. i put off making a dragon age blog for a while bc i don’t Do anything. even now that ive made it i feel like i don’t have#a leg to stand on to talk to my mutuals. we are always competing for attention on the internet#i’ve known a few people where like. i thought we were actual friends and not just fandom colleagues but i always felt like i had fo Prove I#Was Talented to keep them interested and like. again not healthy but i’m wondering how common that is#maybe that is just fandom colleague behavior and i misread the situation but uh#also to be clear i’m not trying to like. blame anyone or victimize myself#i’m mostly curious because i have seen people talk about how making friends on the internet is so much easier and i’m wondering#where that idea came from. bc i still think it’s hard. but i wonder if it’s easier if you’re one already posting Original And Interesting#Content. i mostly just make memes and meta at this point and it doesn’t get a lot of attention. which is fine#i’ve just found it markedly harder to meet people since i switched tacks#one of the reasons i burned out tbh. among other things. i’ve been picking writing up again but i don’t post anymore#honestly realizing this has probably bitten me in the ass before bc i’ve had friends who share stuff they’re proud of and i don’t jump on it#bc to me i’m trying to be like ‘you don’t have to prove yourself to me. i like you as a person’#but probably comes off like ‘i don’t care about the things you care about’. hm#mine
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IM BEING SO SERIOUS THERE IS NO GREATER JOY AFTER A DAY OF HARDSHIPS TO JUST FLOP IN MY BED AND TURN ON THE HEATING BLANKET AND HOLD V0LO PLUSH IN MY ARMS 😵💫 anyway here's a hot pic of him MY gf drew for ME you can look at it though
#💫.txt#💫.jpg#gift4me#self ship#yeah my valentines day was trash btw but i mean it got better at the end#I HAD 3 QUIZZES IN UNI TODAY ONE OF WHICH WENT REAL BAD BUT ITS FINE ....#BUT IT MEANS I WAS STUDYING INSTEAD OF PREPPING ANY SELF SHIP STUFF YESTERDAY/TODAY#i didn't make a promo either because actually lately i just don't trust anyone to genuinely respect our relationship#like ppl will be like omggg i hate doubles >_< then interact with doubles of their mutual who also hates doubles#TRUST ISSUES!! I HAVE THEM!!!!!!#sorry i ranted on accident im eating dinner in my bed at 1am
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Rare good day with the teeny terror! He was lower energy bc he was a bit constipated which meant he was actually talking and listening to me (somewhat)
#he did piss all over his floor and soak me with the shower but whatever thats fine#also got my fave boy to say goblin which is an absolite win in my book#helped that i was working with one of his main staff tho#whos actjally really fuckin good and does the research#like. its shockingly rare in here that ill actually respect staffs thoughts on autism and how it works#but her i absolutely do and i think its mutual bc i actually fucking listen
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Having to scroll through a character tag to find cute fanart but in the process being exposed to the worst takes known to humanity
#y’all haven’t actually read a Gwenpool comic and it shows#you’re jumping on the bandwagon because of atsv#which is fine but do the required reading please#it’s not hard she’s a very easy character to get into#no one understands her like I do#me and my one Gwenpool mutual against the world#not trying to gatekeep y’all are just wrong
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𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🐇 ／ ⋆ ۪
#i dont know there's just... smth within me that craves it. in a profound wat#way** -_-#like... i am just someone who is made to love and be loved. that is what i want in this world in this life#i dont have any dreams or aspirations. all i need and want is to love#and since i dont have that in my life i am so deeply unhappy#and like i dont give a fuck about the 'love yourself#be whole by yourself. live a full life on your own#dont be happy bc of other ppl' blah blah blah#i dont care. my world view is that we are all different. we are all made of various stuff and we all need different things#(in my opinion; as long as u dont hurt anyone.... depending on intent... like depending on who u hurt and why.. as long as u dont harm#random innocent ppl for no fkn reasonand without consent. it is all fine)#the truth about the world is that none of us got all the fkn answers and we have no fkn right to demand that everybody lives according to a#made up book of rules. that's like actual insanity to me.#maybe someone else's way of living is crazy TO YOU. but theyre doing what they can to get by and thats none of your business#maybe u dont get it. maybe u dont understand. but someone else's life isnt for u to understand. only to look away and move on#if u arent compatible. needing to beat everyone down into the little box u have created is like... unrealistic and unsustainable lol#and i think that what i need as a person is nothing but love. deep profound love. which is sad bc that isnt really...#easy having my personality disorder :// plus that is smth very very rare and only a lucky few can experience that#i think i could still be happy in a healthy relationship where mutual like exists. even if... i know now that feeling that love is possible#idc if someone else is like omg thats so unhealthy gurlll love ya self gurlll. thats not what i need#everyone lives differently and yeah for some ppl it is much much harder#to get by bc we arent 'normal' or 'sane' or whatever. but it isnt wrong or incorrect#i just think im so so unhappy bc this is the one thing i need#and now me and my heart are like a withering flower#all i can hope... is that one day it will bloom. maybe one day.#but yeah no matter the amounts of work i do on myself (which i am trying to do lmfao stfu) or therapy#as long as i lack the one thing my soul craves iwill be dim and dull and feel numb
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quietly getting more & more annoyed at my housemate & her bf as the evening goes on. thought they were at his house this weekend but they showed up unexpectedly to have loud sex here, left for a little bit, came back in the middle of a fight, and are now watching tv really loudly in between continuing to totally-not-fight-everything's-FINE.
#ctxt#shit chat#they're both rly nice people who genuinely love each other a lot & have been together like 7 years#but in the time i've known them they just keep playing out the same maladaptive patterns together and it's painful to watch#one of them will be irritable for some reason and snap at the other; other responds by airing a deep-seated grievance they've been sittin on#and instead of just. having a conflict about it to its conclusion to resolve the issue they just both fall over themselves apologizing#and spend several hours being really touchy & reactive to little things but overwhelmingly gentle/reassuring/affectionate#person A: *snaps* im sorry baby i didn't mean it i'm just stressed i love you so much can i do anything for you?#person B: no no my love you're fine i'm not mad i understand can i do anything for YOU you're so special i care about you so much#*make out in the kitchen about it a bit. swap roles rinse & repeat*#like i know turning towards a loved one after conflict instead of giving them the cold shoulder is a sign of emotional maturity#and is generally a healthy communication habit#but like. you gotta actually HAVE the conflict first instead of glossing over it the minute difficult emotions come up???#and when they get in these loops i really think they should just. agree on a mutual time out to do their own thing for a day#calm down sort themselves out and then come back together to mend things#instead of just reflexively drawing closer together immediately to try and smother discontent#which just results in them still being upset and now tripping over each other bumping elbows exacerbating things#while being obnoxiously saccharine to cover it up#i mean. 7 yrs is nothing to sneeze at but imo this is. not a sustainable way of relating & building a life together#and it sucks to watch it play out. reminds me of my parents who were blissfully incompatible in a similar way for like 30 years#before it finally blew up spectacularly with a lot of collateral damage earlier this year.
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Hi !!!! Are you having a good day filled with whimsy and enchantment?
HIIII OLI KIND OF TY FOR ASKING :DDD i stayed up wayyy too late last night (partially bc the universe just decided to fuck me over for the lolz and partially bc i got too excited researching a character) so i have felt a teensy bit like i am no-clipping out of reality all day and i did have a shitty exam this morning, BUT i went into cambridge w/ parents (sam has abandoned me for fucking germany rn 😔) and got some cool new clothes, got to listen to an absolute banger of a hfth episode whilst gazing out over the town from the top of the 6 story parking lot, and now im trying to speedrun some drawings im gonna send to someone!!! so both good and bad id say :D
#vibe’s been a bit weird w my mum lately i feel like shes trying rlly hard to be friends with me which is making me feel a tad awkward#WHICH WOULD BE FINE but she is very clearly trying to create a Mother Daughter bond so it is generally just making me feel. dysphoric and#annoyed#so that’s not great#but yeah!!!! decent day i reckon gonna try actually get some sleep tonight lol#what about you!!!!!!!!?#jupiter ask box#oli mutual tag#(sam is my brother cant remember if ive mentioned that before)
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Saw certain tweets and here once again a reminder which a twt mutual luckily wrote shorter than I could (plus public so I can rb bc no way I do that myself on that site)
Also
And if you want smth I wrote myself which is longer and not just abt that here you go
#a wild lux appears#I think they're one mutual who is fine w being screenshotted ik some don't want that#I wrote that bsky thing while waiting for food. Reg the fellow person I talk abt don't bash ppl that already spoke up and stop for a bit#To rb more later. Or ppl that still go to work bc they can't afford not to bc the thing by these actions is community isn't there as net#Or like anyone that shows they care and didn't do anything harmful and just take recharge time or so#Educate willing(!) ppl nicely and don't bash them or send a internet mob to them etc#The ones posting they still go to/buy boycott stuff yeah they're awful but what does bashing them bring at the end of the day#Don't support those ppl yeah but them posting that shows how much they care for it. They prob just want cloud which you give them.#Pressure ppl in power in a way they can't ignore focus on that not no name individuals#If ppl you know talk in private and if they don't want to change literally just cut them out of your life if possible#Online just block. Don't argue w people that just want to stir smth up etc etc#Also I don't think it's too productive to be mad when a standard user anywhere doesn't share stuff. Like yeah give them info abt that but#some either just do smth offline (in that case maybe tell them in this case just sharing online is also helpful) or are mentally too done#and focus all energy to survive (which is intended by the ppl in power. make ppl so done they only have energy to survive themselves so they#don't have energy to speak up abt problems in the world). Bashing famous ppl is completely different bc backlash actually brings smth there.#More ppl could do more if strike organizations would include community care so more actually could not go to work/shopping#Also reg protests so they should know do you know how many don't watch news anymore (I don't watch tv since many years)#I'm sure some also just can't esp younger ppl if they're parents monitor their socials and are zionists#Ofc speak up. I'm just here to say there are explanations. If they read things and still don't care unfollow/block/mute/idc or if you know#Them talk and explain how if is important they speak up#This has been going on for a good while now idk how many still don't know I am mostly pointing that out for new or not as much shared things#Tho I'm sure many don't know bc the standard response is the gov knows what he does and they do propaganda#They think surely the gov takes care of that. If they shut down convos reg that then that is dangerous denialism and living in escapism n#All. Not if the ppl who follow this need a break w fiction or so. I am sure the ppl you try to reach w bashing already muted/blocked all#accs and words associated w that#Anyways I gotta shower now. Disclaimer my personal opinion be an asshole and it's block on sight yada yada.#I just woke up I'm hungry I need to shower but that is also when I decide to share my pieces so
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