#but still annoying to sacrifice my comfort of an older and familiar version of an app for an impulse trend and have it be disappointing

[alagaisia]

Okay somebody should have mentioned that booping on mobile can lag out your whole dash :( I updated my app for this and I hate updating apps :( things are arranged differently and I’ll have to get used to that AND one in every idk twelve boops I have to quit the app and start over?

I’m now the person mentioning it. If you’re going in you should have all of the information.

[ohmy7hearts]

why would you promise when you know promises are bound to be broken

when the sky kisses the earth: 1

Summary: There are some things which are fated to be and others forced into submission by people with the power to do so. You believed you were fated to join the survey corps and meeting Eren. But was the world fated to feel his wrath? You could stop him, but would you? Would you sacrifice the security it would bring to the boy in your arms with the familiar teal eyes and not even a year old?

Pairings: Eren Yeager x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None, for now.

A/N: I really wanted to write a full length series before AOT ended. Seeing where the manga is now and the news of it only having one season left really prompted this series. Inspired by the AOT game - I wish they could have integrated your character into the final battle game.

AO3 Version // next

The necklace around your neck felt colder, heavier, like what one would imagine being wrapped around in cuffs - chained to the earth - and very much what slavery felt like with its restriction and a dead reminder that your life was starkly different from how you imagined it would be. 

“Cadet. Do you hear me?” It was like you were dunked into a basin of cold water - jarring you back to the bitter truth. And just like if you were underwater, everything else was muddled. 

 “Yes, sir!” You did a salute. Eyes never wavering from the spot on the wall - lighter than the rest from who knows what - and teeth gnawing on the bottom of your lips. It’s trembling so much and it scares you the longer you stand there. You could feel his gaze boring into you. Eyes trying to peel the facade you plastered on, insisting he sees the wavering heart to be served on a silver platter for him to be satisfied by your answer. Tears started lining your eyes and oh, God... Your mind reeled for a distraction. Eyes zeroing on that spot. What if it’s the instructor’s doing? Maybe the instructor chipped off that part of the wall. Maybe he found the wood splintering and was so annoyed by the sight of it that he tore it off until -

 “Dismissed.” 

 You dared not look away from that spot until you turned tail and scurried away from the room. 

 The air outside was much warmer and it filled your lungs with air that you could actually breathe. With the sun burning high and charged with screams of determination or desperation - you can’t really tell when you were in a similar state of disarray - you stepped towards the training grounds. Stopped. You were supposed to be returning to training but nothing matters. It never did. When loss would be what you faced in the end. 

 Suddenly, the air that you could breathe choked you and poison seeped into your body. Trembling lips couldn’t hold back the sobs as your feet carried you away from that godforsaken room. It hurts so much. Hurt from the very core of your soul. Tears blurring your vision and your feet failing. Falling and failing. You tumbled to your hands and knees. Gasping for air through your constricting throat, you wanted to get away. Hide! Hide. Where no one can see you. Where no one can hear you. 

 Your arms gave way. Head buried on the ground, no sound escaped you. You shut your eyes through the tears. Your brain finally registered the lack of air in your lungs but you couldn’t. You need to breathe but you couldn’t. With every intake of breath, your body exhaled. And it was getting so hard to breathe. So hard. As hard as it was hurting. Your mind screamed at you. Breathe, breathe. What’s the point? You needed to but your body insisted on crying. 

 Crying was so pointless. Why are you crying? It can’t do anything. You won’t get back what you lost. 

 Hatred bubbled within you. Your eyes shot open. The air was stuck in your throat.

 The necklace was on the ground. Right in front of you. 

 “Here you go.” Your eyes focused on the necklace before flitting upwards, following the extended arm to find a familiar face and similar eyes. 

 You tilted your head, eyebrows frowning, a question on the tip of your tongue but he beat you to it with his soft smile, dimples showing on his cheeks. “It’s a little gift from me to you. I know your birthday was last week but it was hard trying to find this, you know!”

 You pouted, more questions on your mind, “You already gave me flowers for my birthday.”

 His smile disappeared before quickly giving way to laughter. “Let me spoil you a bit sis!”

 “Besides, flowers are going to die anyway, no matter how much you love them. They are going to wilt even if you put a lot of care into them.” He took a seat beside you, fingers grasping the pendant as you watch him in awe. “But this. This will last forever... And you’ll remember me no matter what. Even if I’m far away from you beyond the walls. And you can tell all your friends about how great of a brother I am.”

 There’s something in his eyes and his voice that you can’t quite put. And at that age, you never question him much. Everything he did, everything he said never ceases to amaze you. Sometimes you understand him but most of the times not really. The brother almost 7 years older than you with his head in books and a band of friends who join the army when they’re of legal age never stops. Stops to wonder and question nor stop to leave you proud.

 His laugh snapped you out of your reverie. And you watched because he was never around much and you really liked his laugh. The dimples on his face more because that means he’s smiling and when he’s smiling, you smiled too. You want to be like him one day.

 “Turn around, I’ll put this on you.” And he did, with such care and it felt like when a butterfly landed on your nose or the breeze by the river tickled your arms - so soft and barely there. And you wonder how your brother is the most amazing one out there. Even if he tripped a little too much, destroys more than he helps in the kitchen and forgets every now and then, he is still so kind! He grew the flower beds lining the house and taught you to caress the stray cat instead of grabbing it, walked with you through the woods and made you feel much safer when the trees started to morph into horrifying monsters. Even Mama said that he was amazing. And Papa was always so proud of him! You want to be like him one day…

 Like him…

 Dead.

 “Hey!” 

 Someone shook you to a sitting position. 

 Through the blurriness in your vision, you found teal eyes.

 Concern swam in his vision then shock when he saw your hands, bleeding. 

 How did that happen?

 “You’re bleeding! Let’s get you to the infirmary! Wait, we need to stop the bleeding first.” He worked fast to wrap your hands in his jacket. Face scrunched in concentration. Your lips started twitching. 

 “And who’s gonna take care of you when I’m away huh? I know I’m clumsy but you don’t have to follow in my footsteps. One mess of a person is enough in the family,” Your brother nagged as he cleaned your scratched and bleeding arm. “Take better care of yourself, okay sis?”

 “Hey, are you listening?” Teal eyes scrutinised your face. Hands now cupping your face to wipe the tears away. You’ve never heard him speaking so softly and your heart squeezed at that.

 “It won’t work.” 

 “Huh?” Your lips twitched more. 

 “I’ll need a smaller cloth to properly wrap my hands.”

 The disappearing frown came back tenfolds. “And I’m not a walking first aid kit! Let’s get you to the infirmary.” 

 “You can walk, right?” It could sound so demeaning. Especially when he towers over you with that burning gaze of his. But how could it be? When his voice was so soft - jarringly different from his previous defensiveness and his usual declares of murder - and hand extended to help you up.

 Your lips finally formed a smile, “Maybe I’d need some help getting there. I wouldn’t mind being carried.” 

 His eyebrows shot up but a teasing smirk formed on his lips, “If you got the energy to joke around, I’m pretty sure you can walk.” 

 Without a reply, he bent down. Crouching in front of you with his back towards you and arms outwards in a similar fashion.

 There were protests at the tip of your tongue. But you relented, crawling over his back. His arms grasping your thighs and situating you more comfortably on his back before he departed towards the infirmary building. 

 You hesitated to wrap your arms around his neck or lie your head on his shoulder and in that midst of hesitation, you saw it. A band of string going around his neck before disappearing under his shirt. A necklace.

 “Hmm? Yea, it was my father’s.” 

 Your eyes widened - unintentional for it to come tumbling out of your mouth. Just like before, the necklace weighed on your chest. And cold as it burned your skin and seeped into your bones. Tears forming on your waterline without you meaning to. 

 “Just lie down.” He whispered. “You’ll feel better afterwards.”

 You stared at the back of his head in contemplation. A beat passed. He squeezed the meat of your thighs. So, you listened. You wrapped your arms around him and buried your head into the crook of his neck. Trying to conceal your sobs and to hold back the tears. The warmth of his back and his smell comforted you in a way that you can’t place. Whether it be the desperation of your mind tricking you into it or some lucky coincidence, you didn’t dare question it any further. So you hugged him tighter.

 He unravelled you from his arms. His face scrunched up in worry and gone were the dimples. “Promise me, little sis. Promise me okay? You won’t do anything reckless and you’ll be here. You’ll stay here until I come back, okay? I won’t be long. I promise you, my dear little sis. I’ll come back to you. And we don’t have to worry about whatever is out there anymore and this ever happening again. You promise me that and I promise you… I promise that the titans would pay for this. So, do this for me okay? I can’t worry about you when I have to worry about myself.”

 He chuckled, tears streaming down his face, and voice wavering in tone and speed, “You know how clumsy I am so I have to be more careful and that means I can’t really worry about you when I’m out there. So be good for me like always and stay here okay? I promise I’ll be back soon.”

 “Promise?” Your pinky raised in between both of you. He lets out another airy chuckle but wrapped his pinky around yours nonetheless.

 He wrapped you in his arms and you felt safe, amidst all the screaming and crying for help and the world behind the walls burning under the depraved hands of titans.

 Titans.

 They did this; took away everything. Your home, your childhood, your parents then your brother.

 Titans.

 We’ll kill them all.

 The boy stopped. He tilted his head slightly to you as if pondering on whether he heard you correctly. Then, he looked up.

 “Yeah,” he faced sideways, seeing you in his peripheral, “we’ll kill them.”