#which is basically to only acknowledge it when i’m about to make a big change and he sends me a text

[trashcandroid]

Apparently my mom shares trans memes on her facebook, which is… cool I guess? But she also still posts old pictures of me all the time

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hopefully this doesn't come off as snarky, but I find it genuinely hilarious that every "big-name" Leona fan that I've seen seems to like him against their will lol. I've always had Leona as my favorite, so it's fun to see the journey other people go through to liking/appreciating him!

Look 💦 I can’t speak for other L*ona likers (regardless of size, honestly; I'm a firm believer that one's level of internet fame isn't a factor in the devotion for a character) but for me—to quote Scar—“my words are a matter of pride.” And by confessing to (ick 🤢) LIKING LION… it’s throwing all that pride out of a window. It seriously does feel like these feelings exist against my will.

I have a summary of my story to explain my relationship with the lion lore 💀 I call it a summary, but it’s still kind of long— It's below the cut for those who are interested!

To begin with, the promotional materials didn’t sell me on him. Everything about how he initially presents—from his arrogance to his “tough/bad boy” design (seriously, that biker-cowboy combo of his dorm uniform is SO ugly and shows way too much skin for my liking…)—was so unappealing to me. He seemed exactly like the kind of character and tropes I tend to dislike. The only “good” thing I saw in him was his face (which, ironically, is what Vil says about him) and maybe his UM chant particularly the line where he demands you kneel before him. Then comes along book 2, which is easily the weakest of the main story and does a HUGE disservice to him, making L*ona seem a lot stupider than he actually is. At that point, I had basically written his entire character off. I claimed to all my Twst friends that there was nothing that would ever make me like him.

Around 2022, I decided to get involved in a round of EBG (Epic Bias Game) which is basically like a test of your will?? You’re supposed to compete with your friends to see who can go for the longest without talking about or acknowledging their oshi (which includes not being able to react to fan works of them). As part of EBG, each participant was randomly assigned a “new oshi” to replace the usual one AND GUESS WHAT, I GOT HANDED L*ONA BY THE WHEEL OF FATE 💀

One of my friends (who knew I hardcore hated him at the time) assured me that this would get me to change my mind. They even went out of their way to write a little story explaining how my OC was forced to spend more time with L*ona, which led me into writing interactions between them to build more of the lore. I managed to outlast the friend in EBG, but didn’t win the entire game. I came out of it not really feeling super different about L*ona, but I think forcing myself to write about him extensively helped me gain a little more perspective on his character. I still didn’t like him, but I at least appreciated his presence in the cast a little more.

AND THEN TWST HAD TO COME AND BASH ME OVER THE HEAD WITH L*ONA CONTENT… All the little vignettes and voice lines where other characters would talk about what a good leader he is (*glares at Epel, Jack, Ruggie, Savanaclaw mobs, etc.*), when he sarcastically claims to be a “delicate prince” or a “lost child”, those moments where he sasses others, times when he’s able to use his charisma and/or intelligence to pull ahead, rare instances when he whips out his royal manners, him respecting women… But I think the turning point for me had to have been book 6 OTL GOOD LORD, BOOK 6 FUCKED ME UP 😭 Him using his UM in a creative way to turn falling glass shards into harmless sand? And strategically turning himself in?? Willingly ceding control of the dorm to Ruggie??? Telling everyone about Styx’s lore???? AND THE BEEF HE HAD WITH JAMIL BUT STILL GIVING HIM WISDOM AND ADVICE… Sometimes I still tear up thinking about how L*ona says “You’re not like me,” to Jamil 😔 implying that part of the reason why L*ona guides others is because he has hope in their futures but not his own… (I’m still salty that EN messed up this line by changing it to “I’m not like you,” which makes him come off as way more arrogant 💦) Anyway, I blame book 6 for being the tipping point in my downward spiral 🌀 IT GOT WORSE IN BOOK 7 WHEN HE STARTED SHOWING HE'S MOTIVATED TO ACTUALLY GRADUATE AND TAKES ON AN INTERNSHIP THAT COULD BENEFIT HIS COUNTRY... Special shoutout to the Club Wear card for being especially hot-- I did my best to hold out against the steady drip of content that called attention to his… positive traits… (Not that I’m saying he doesn’t have any; I mean this in that whenever his strengths as a character are brought up, they really get to me as someone who loves intelligent, mature/responsible types and “big brother” figures OTL) BUT IT'S SO HARD WHEN TWST KEEPS PULLING STUFF LIKE THAT???

Then in 2024 came the stupid Lost in the Book with Nightmare Before Christmas event 💀 which finally introduced us to L*ona in full formal attire (MY WEAKNESS) and gave him the opportunity to be in the role of the "hero" and leader... and those Nightmare Suit vignettes 😭 Leona thinking about what it actually means to be "king"... Ugh, it was another strong showing of his character. I'm pretty sure it was this event that started the snowball of my friends (lovingly) bullying me about him and calling me a tsundere about it. Weirdly enough, a BUNCH of things started happening irl to push L*ona at me too. For example, my pet (who usually actively avoids or attacks Twst stuff) was actually eager to pose for a picture with a L*ona standee. In a group fan merch order, I had asked for the bonus Grim sticker but the artist (who had no idea about my complicated thoughts on L*ona) said they were out of the Grim sticker but they had L*ona stickers they could include instead. Most recently, I had just finished this last-minute artwork of Miss Raven eating pocky by herself to celebrate Pocky Day (11/11). Typically the fan art you'd see on this day would involve two characters playing the "Pocky Game" (in which the players try to eat a stick of pocky from either end; usually it's framed as romantic since meeting in the middle results in a kiss). However, I had chosen to do a solo Miss Raven art because I thought this suited her "I want to be taken seriously!" personality better. Well, guess what? I GOT A PACKAGE DELIVERY NOTIFICATION FOR THE TWST MERCH ORDER... WITH L*ONA IN IT 💀 Almost like he heard there was food meant for sharing and he came to claim it for himself... Like I literally did NOT choose for these things to happen to me, THEY HAPPENED ON THEIR OWN. I DON'T BELIEVE IN PREORDAINED EVENTS BUT THE UNIVERSE SURE IS WORKING IN STRANGE WAYS.

So now that the tables have turned, it’s really embarrassing. Everything is coming back to bite me in the butt… It truly feels like L*ona plotted this all along and was on the prowl, patiently waiting for me to get worn down before he pounces and delivers the final blow to my ego OTL Like, it's gotten to the point where many of my long-time friends in the Twst community are now joking that "It's over" for J word... ONE OF THEM EVEN TOLD ME IT FEELS LIKE I'M GETTING DIVORCED AND L*ONA IS THEIR NEW STEPDAD, HOW AM I SUPPSOED TO FEEL ABOUT HTHAT ??????????? ? ? ????? ? ??? ? ?? ?? ? ???? ?

But by the far the worst, the WORST part about everything here is that if L*ona were fully sentient, he would be so smug about recent developments 😡 It makes me SO mad thinking about how he'd look down on me with that hot smug rage-inducing smirk of his and make fun of me for eating my words so badly.

“What was that you said about hating my guts, herbivore? … Hah, it's written all over your face--you're terrible at hiding your true feelings. You can just give in, you know. Tell me how much you worship me. How much you want me. You'll give in eventually one way or another--so why not make this easier for the both of us and save us the time of playing the wait game? I don't bite, promise." (<- a liar)

(Disclaimer: NOT MY MERCH; this is a L*ona Liker friend’s picture that they’re letting me use as a reaction image 😅)

THIS IS FR MY OVERBLOT ORIGIN STORY…

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Angel Dust Redesign! (7/7)

FINALLY I AM DONE WITH THE MAIN 7 FREAKS.

Depending how I feel I might throw in some bonuses but these guys are your only guarantees! Going to be posting the full lineup separately because I don’t want to clutter this post!!

God okay where to start. I was talking about them in Husk’s post so let’s go with that. Angel’s clothing restrictions are his necklace and shoes. I might go on a bit of a tangent with this so forgive me 💔

For the necklace let me get this out of the way: yes it is a BDSM thing! I’m terrified people are going to take this as me being a weirdo but please as an adult content creator give me some space to explain before anyone jumps on me and hits me with a metal pipe. The intentions behind symbolism matter HEAVILY. I am against Vivzie’s portrayal of Angel’s abuse and the chain/collar imagery because it is blatantly either her being incredibly uncreative or her inserting her kinks into her shows. I think it is completely fine to use suggestive items in this way as long as the intentions are clear and not just there for no reason.

I would’ve probably done something else like a corset as a restriction, but I’d like to stop being so shy about Angel’s actual job. He is a pornstar and removing that outward aspect of him is taking a big chunk of his character away. I need more people to acknowledge that Angel enjoys sex and actively wanted to explore this side of himself. With the slip chain however, I would also like to portray how things Angel enjoys in his job have been used against him and made him come to resent what he does when he is forced into it. I think thats a pretty understandable thing to show.

This is harder to explain but the gist of it is just don’t be afraid to acknowledge Angel’s job. It’s okay to use sexual things as metaphors. Have you heard any christian song ever/hj

Alright with that out of the way, with the shoes. Angel’s feet are a large insecurity and discomfort of his which already makes his shoes some sort of restriction on their own, however if controlled, they can be made to stumble forward, fall over, etc. I wanted to show how Angel has freedom to go mostly wherever he pleases, though once again, that free will can be taken away very quickly.

I hated his suit so all suiting is gone entirely. He’s supposed to look attractive or eye catching at the very least. I’ve also added back the outer fangs he had in my first redesign!

I am much happier with the new one in comparison to this old guy. I know it’s only a few months old but you can really see how differently I draw him and the details I pay attention to more like the shape of his hair. Aside from the old one! I wanted Angel himself to still keep the reddish pink to show wrath and destain being masked as lust, except now his clothing is actually the pinkish-purple lust colour and it covers more eye grabbing parts of his body like the chest, hands, hips, and so on.

I don’t think I’ve ever outwardly mentioned Angel having polycoria but he does and it’s probably my favourite feature to draw aside from his hair. About the hair and fur: Angel used to have spots and basic stripes before his contract with Valentino, where afterwards they began to curl into their cordiform shapes. Most physical overlord changes with hair and skin tend to not go away, so depending on who you make a contract with it’s either a fun perk or a sort of scar.

Once again, not sure if I will be continuing with anymore in this specific lineup, but if I do end up posting more of these I really hope you like those too! 💣

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

hi. alot is happening. bumming off wifi rn. i'm copy/pasting someone from a doc i started in libra office with no internet.

A LOT IS HAPPENING BEHIND THE SCENES AND I’M KEEPING TRACK.

The landlady has made excuses to not give us back the security deposit. She keeps having Dave’s boss call him in a foul mood will all kind of threats and accusations of things we supposedly broke/ruined.

1.) On our first night out of there she has already threatened to call the cops on us by claiming that we filled the house with perfume before we left so it’ll hurt her. What happened was we cleaned it because she demanded that it was clean like it supposedly was when we moved in(it wasn’t clean when we moved in). We used that Meyers shit, which has a pretty muted scent and is supposed to be safe for the environment. And it was just basic sweeping, dusting, and then doing up the ktichen and bathroom just to be safe.

2.) Today she has claimed that we filled the washing machine with motor oil to ruin it as punishment before we left. She swears the whole house smells of oil, after screaming about it smelling like too much perfume that was supposedly used to hurt her breathing. Mind you, mom is an asthmatic so we can’t use things with strong scents because it will fuck her up. If we bought oil, it would be for the van cuz that shit is expensive and we wouldn’t be wasting it on HER of all people.

By now, Dave’s boss is aware that she cannot legally withold the deposit and that she’s trying to use the fact that Dave is a dumbass, against him. Mom however, knows the laws, and the lease said nothing about not using scented cleaners OR perfumes, and she does not have a legit reason to not give us the $1600 back. If she took it to court it would not hold. She has to make an itemized list of her claims, Dave has to acknowledge whether or not they are true, and then it goes to court.

fyi I took videos of everything in the house. Bethy’s Room, Mom’s Room, Bathroom, Living Room, Dining Room, Kitchen. All items that were hers, such as the Oven, Fridge, Washer, Dryer, Toilet, Sinks,Tub/Shower, random Recycle Bin, and Wall Hangings. Inside and Out. All details were recorded before we left. I even recorded us leaving at exactly 11:23 PM Feb 15th 2024, and recorded turning the light off.

Let’s see if she comes up with something else tomorrow. ~5:22 PM Feb, 17th 2024

3.)

Feb, 21st 2024:

I’ve just been informed by Bethy that Dave has gone on to further embarrass us. He insists that he’s got all these racing friends(and tbf they promised to help fund a big event to raise money for us 2 years ago, and then ghosted him AND Bethy when they asked what they had to do to help) who will help and has been harassing them for money.

One of them, an active dirt racer, posted a screenshot with Dave’s full name in a text convo begging for cash. And then half a dozen other dirt racers, active and retired, shared that he’s been hitting them up for money too. How he was in people’s posts about random shit beggn for money and then how he got swindled under his own comment by someone mocking him and posting the same thing he did with a small wording change about leaving an abusive house and Dave not only fell for it but then said he’d try to help them.

And now the greater dirt racing community is aware of this and are mocking him and us and some are making inquiries about Bethy’s well-being in connection to Dave. And their wives are having things to say about how he’s a bad parent and she should be taken away from him.

And I need to remind everyone that this is to pay off a blackmailer who is demanding $300 a week now. Bethy got a bit more info out of him on that and it apparently involves a photo. And there are only 2 types of photos that can get him in legal trouble(since he believes he CAN go to jail over this). So either he sent an unsolicited dick pic, which won’t receive much punishment cuz he’s a man who LOOKS white enough. OR it’s child p0rn, and he’s never given that vibe out of everything fucked up with him so I’m not exactly sure.

But he walks around demanding to know ‘did anyone give us money yet’ and people have donated to the GFM and Mealtrain, and I’ve earned about $100 on Ko-Fi recently, and we haven’t told him cuz he won’t use it for anything good.

He’s been bumming extra money off his boss despite knowing that the van need fixing, we need hot water and heat, and several other problems that need fixing ASAP. And his boss is asking questions and is getting nastier and nastier cuz he doesn’t trust Dave’s intentions and shitty lying.

There is no lease. The owner of this house knows Dave's boss and they supposedly came to an agreement that so long as Dave fixes up this house, we can stay here in the mean time for free. They supposedly made an agreement that Dave's boss will buy everything we need to fix the house up and then send all the receipts to the friend who will then pay him back.

And now Dave's boss is getting so fed up with Dave and his wishy-washy behavior and begging for all this money all the time that he does not earn, that he is now saying he never made any such promises. And he refuses to contact the owner of this house at all. There is no recording. No contract. No signatures. No proof that such a discussion went down at all. It is Dave’s word(unreliable) against the boss’(the one with money and power here) word.

Dave has no way to contact the owner either. Cuz he didn’t think that was necessary apparently. He was perfectly fine making his boss the go-between until his boss got angry.

So our ability to even stay here is hanging in the balance.

Can’t wait to see what other bad news I’m gonna find out.

[im-out-of-it]

PSA: RANT ABOUT CORDELIA AND HOW SHES A TERRIBLE SISTER TO ALASTAIR

it astounds me all of the occasions that Alastair has told Cordelia how much he cares and loves her but I never see the same effort back. AND YES IM MAKING ANOTHER POST ABOUT IT

I see Alastair telling her of how he ensured she had the childhood he didn’t get, how he doesn’t trust James and Matthew and doesn’t want to see Cordelia get hurt, how he will support her endeavors whether her future is with James or Matthew, how he hides her sword because she really believed wayland the smith thought she was special (I’m sorry but that’s funny), how he defended cordelia after she ran off to Paris with Matthew, how Alastair didn’t want Cortana to choose her because then danger would follow her, and just how he’s there for her every single day-

and she’s got the audacity to say or think “wow we wouldn’t be here a year ago, he’s changed so much” CAN WE STOP WITH THIS

there’s a part that Thomas says (and I seriously hate that he’s the one to say it) how the past Alastair wouldn’t research paladins to save his sister like Alastair has never been the problem here. I fully believe he is the best brother to her. (I’d kill for this kind of brother) maybe he was stealthy about it in the past and didn’t want to be like “oh hey sis, by the way our father is a drunk and bastard and I’m always cleaning up his messes” like I don’t think she actually fully acknowledges all he has done for her

I’m not saying she needs to constantly thank Alastair but I don’t ever see her being grateful about what he does for her. when Charles is wounded (I don’t see why the bastard couldn’t die), Matthew basically tells Alastair to go to him. and Cordelia is like that’s so big of you Matthew!!!!!! I’m sorry but are we just going to ignore the way charles treated your brother? she seems to have zero concern about this. when Charles tries talking to Alastair, Cordelia tries to leave but Alastair keeps a grip on her. I think there’s only once when she tells Charles to leave Alastair alone but barely.

when Cordelia returns from Paris, it’s all about how she feels. mind you, Alastair feels he can’t have Thomas and yet that isn’t ever processed because how awful for Alastair to have a pov!!!!!!! he shows his support and wow Cordelia is shocked her brother supports her!!!!!!!!

she tells the merry thieves basically that they can continue to be rude to Alastair the day after her wedding. there’s no support there. when Thomas makes a remark about Alastair being awful (which to be fair, he is still trying to process what Alastair did but we don’t actually gain access to his thoughts so the writing doesn’t pay off in the end.), Cordelia says “I know you don’t like Alastair but he is my brother” and that’s it.

Alastair is gaining no support from Cordelia whatsoever. her every thought is about James. at least in chain of gold, she was wanting family honor and helping her family but right after that, it was all about James. and this is why I don’t like her character arc and I don’t like her after chain of gold. she’s extremely selfish and I don’t ever see her support Alastair. just mentioning Thomas and how they all know he was following Thomas isn’t being supportive. I think her worst crime was spying on Alastair and then staying there. no wonder he doesn’t trust you then.

I’m just saying that Alastair has always been there for Cordelia even if it was in quiet and she never seems grateful for him, or the fact Kit died for her. I love that Alastair has Thomas now and I believe he has Gideon, gabriel, Sophie, Eugenia, Cecily and they would make him feel accepted. Gabriel and Gideon had their childhood taken away by a toxic father as well- Cecily as well, and we know Sophie went through it. I feel that they would support and give Alastair the love and support he needs because he certainly doesn’t get any from his sister

and concluding, this is why the book should’ve focused on Alastair. he’s more interesting and I hate that we don’t get his thoughts and he never actually grieves his childhood and gets to process anything

[awakenedsalamander]

Alright, so I’ve obviously given Mage and Vampire some attention. It’s about time I talk about Werewolf: The Apocalypse, you know, round out the “big three.”

Truth be told, I have kind of a love/hate relationship with Werewolf, though that kinda implies it’s an even split of things I enjoy and things I don’t, but that’s not quite correct.

A more accurate breakdown of my feelings would be something like:

- 60% stuff I really love and appreciate

- 20% stuff I go back and forth on

- 15% stuff I dislike but can tolerate (pretty standard for WoD)

- 5% stuff I really, truly, passionately loathe

And it’s honestly that last 5% that I struggle with most. To be clear, a lot of the WoD games have things in them I don’t just dislike, but find sincerely objectionable or harmful. (A certain Vampire sourcebook, the title of which I can’t even comfortably write out, immediately comes to mind.) But I get past those things, because 1) no work of art is morally flawless, and your tastes as a hobbyist or audience member are not your ethics as a human being and 2) a lot of that stuff is from the older editions and has largely been divorced from the game.

So what’s different about Werewolf?

Well, some of it lies in point 2— there are things in Werewolf that are bad and (barring the controversy of 5th Edition’s lore changes, which is a whole other kettle of fish that I’d rather not dive into right now) are still part of the game. Improved somewhat? Absolutely. But the ugliness of some choices still haunts the game.

The ways Werewolf: The Apocalypse talks about native peoples, from Indigenous Australians to First Nations Americans, is a big example. I don’t feel it prudent for me to go into those details, if only because I think it’s not my lane and voices from those cultures should really lead those discussions, but the game has a very weird attitude toward indigenous groups— at one recognizing their history and the atrocities they’ve come through with respect, while still finding ways to exoticize that history, and appropriate much of it. To say nothing of the ways in which it feels comfortable speaking over indigenous groups, even in matters of their rights.

That’s just one example. There’s the way Werewolf conceptualizes ethnicity and ancestry in general, which is weirdly archaic in places despite seemingly trying to criticize that view. There’s its approach to disability and bodies that differ from an assumed norm, which as many have observed can sometimes come across as genuinely eugenicist on occasion.

And of course, the game is about monsters— you’re not meant to agree with the Garou on much of their beliefs, and you’re meant to engage with those very real issues and wrestle with the right way forward.

And honestly? That last part— the reality of the issues at hand— that’s what makes the bad parts of Werewolf so hard to look past. You know, the other games in the World of Darkness deal with real world issues, but they do so in a fairly abstract way. Like, sure I can and do identity the Technocracy of Mage with destructive and cruel systems of power in the real world, but like… there isn’t actually a league of hypereconomists using secret math to influence the fate of the world. That’s just an exaggerated and metaphorical way to engage with the problems at the heart of a late-capitalist world.

But Pentex? Pentex is basically real. The Apocalypse in Werewolf: The Apocalypse is climate change. It’s happening now. When the game tells you that you need to Rage against the dying of Gaia… that’s almost as literal as it gets. And that makes its fumbles, its mistakes, and yes, its deliberate offenses, harder to swallow. The stakes are high enough that when things are wrong, it really hurts.

But… let’s also acknowledge: The reality I’m talking about it? It’s what makes that 60% stuff I like so amazing. The lows of Werewolf are hard to stomach, but the highs are just… exhilarating.

Like, Werewolf is a game that says, “You see the state of the world? You see its monstrous past? Its insidious present that only hides the horror? Do you see the doomed future its on a crash course with? Let’s take it, and let’s rip it to fucking shreds. It these tyrants and thieves want to kill the world, then we’ll kill them first, if that’s what it takes. If the Apocalypse happens, it happens on our terms, on the terms of the people being victimized and shoved to the margins. You and I? We’re gonna build a better world or die trying. All our anger might ruin us, but we have to try. The consequences of our actions are dire, but we don’t go down without making the bastards work for it. Not without a fight.”

And fuck, when the game is saying that? It’s priceless.

In fact, this has all been too down on Werewolf as a whole. I want to get my problems with the game out front, just to acknowledge them and keep space for the critique and change that they demand, but at the end of the day, I am a Werewolf: The Apocalypse fan (if one with a lot of notes). I want to do something a little unusual and show you an outline for an Apocalypse chronicle I haven’t yet had the chance to run, to show you what I love about the game.

So, stay tuned for a glimpse into that later— a glimpse into “Blood Ripples Out.”

[laurenttheninth]

considering that they said they dont wanna make a guy queer and then have him crush on his best friend immediately (cause cliches or whatever) i think eddie is going to be the one to take The Step which makes buddie canon. do you have any ideas or wishes as to what he could do or what could happen?

i mean if i’m being perfectly honest i think being in love with your bestie is a quintessential bisexual rite of passage and the whole ‘cliche’ thing always seemed a silly argument to me.

my wish would be that eddie’s “this doesn’t change a thing between us” come back to haunt him. i’m a playwright/new play dramaturg for my day job and that line feels like such a loaded gun — if this were a script i was developing i would IMMEDIATELY flag that line. he could have said anything else to the same effect (“you’re always gonna be my best friend,” “i’m proud of you,” “i love you no matter what,” whatever) but that line plants a seed for the audience; THAT LINE is what introduces us to the IDEA that anything between them COULD change. because before eddie said it, I Highly Doubt anyone watching the show was like “ohhhhh he’s gonna have a problem with buck dating dudes.” other than his bitch4bitch bickering with josh while at dispatch, we’ve never been given any indication that eddie could or would have any ~discomfort around queer men; that line might feel necessary if eddie were a different character, if the show had fewer queer characters, or if it wasn't LA in 202?, but it went off like a siren when i first watched the scene.

they’ve also just set up a beautiful context for eddie to have a queer realization arc:

eddie diaz was basically a teen dad; shannon was "the first woman he slept with"/dated, and he's been Shannon's Husband/Christopher's Father/Shannon's Widow ever since. but NOW christopher is temporarily out of the picture, and eddie has to confront what his life looks like when he's not being a father first and a man second. unless the writers really fumble this plot point going into s8, eddie is all tee'd up for some major self-reflection revelations/forced exploration of the self

we've established the boy has catholic guilt out the wazoo. he acknowledged a "reservoir" of this guilt that lies dormant; he basically admitted to being Deeply Repressed About Shit onscreen while talking about how he couldn't get it up for his gf

beyond "my gf was a nun and now i can't fuck her and this has nothing to do with her moving in with me whatsoever" we also have "someone assumed my gf was my wife/my son's mother and i had a panic attack so severe i ended up in the hospital"

i'm not even gonna talk about the kim thing

plus, buck is bi!!!!!

buck "checking out a hot guy's ass is normal ally behaviour" buckley is one of the most important people in eddie's life. i think it would make perfect sense for eddie to see buck's coming out journey, to see a masc dude have a queer realization in his thirties, and have some feelings about that.

"so, you always knew?" "no, man, not at all. it's more like NOW that i know, everything else makes sense." <- you know what i mean???? scenes i would write if i were in the writer's room tim if you can hear me

PLUS, eddie is friends with tommy! they canonically instantly became super close! so not only could we see eddie's queer awakening through scenes with buck, we could ALSO see them through scenes with tommy! we've seen it in the fanfics, my siblings in christ: eddie goes from loving tommy and hanging out with him always to suddenly being Weird about it.

at the end of the day this is an ensemble show and i think i would want to see eddie having big conversations with either bobby or hen about it and i do solidly vote for the whole third-party thing (i can totally see chimney can't-keep-a-secret han losing his patience and basically telling eddie "you're in love with buck" like the gif)

this ask got away from me. i want it to be mutual. i want to burn for a whole season or more, where they're both slowly realizing they're in love with each other, until finally one of them grabs his keys to go to the other's place and just tell him but when he opens the door to leave the other one is standing right there, and they just say each other's names and it's awkward and stilted but they're both there to say i love you

[sadly-in-active]

Hey Dazai abuser

It’s me.

Can I request Sablé Cookie x a fallen angel reader???

🌝

(I know damn well that this situation would never be canon but I can dream)

Sincerely, 🌸 Anon

I’m going to throw you off of a cliff (again) because you keep reviving 💔 and you’re also my buddy on this blog why don’t you write it yourself I literally gave you my email 🤦‍♂️ /silly /affectionate

Sablé Cookie x Fallen Angel Reader

Summary: You, a fallen angel, were cast out by the Divines, your wings scorched and damaged by their punishment. When you landed in the mud of the Lower City of the Créme Republic, Sablé, a powerful politician, found you. Concerned for your well-being, she called for guards to get you treated. Afterward, she took you to her home, where you woke up from a month-long coma.

TW: Mentions of religion, abuse, blood (I’m not calling it strawberry jam no more it’s too much), I write like I’m playing project sekai, suicidal thoughts

While you were in your coma, Sablé always talked with Baumkuchen about your recovery, since she was quite fascinated on how you even came to be. Angels weren’t a big topic in the Créme Republic, but any paintings or statuettes of these winged beauties always caught her eye. She managed to make time to visit you while you were still gravely injured, examining you. Heck, she even sketched you in her notebook at times while you were unconscious.

Surprisingly, your recovery was speedy, but you were still unconscious. When Baumkuchen noticed that, he was a bit shocked, to be honest. No normal being should’ve been able to recover in under a week. Those were severe injures, as severe as the ones he got. He wanted to study you, but in more of the medicinal aspects. However, Sablé insisted on taking you back to her mansion, which the other Elder reluctantly agreed. They both kept a vow never to tell anyone about you, not yet of course. There would be too much questions. Too much risk.

—

Once you woke up, she was sitting right beside your bedside, sketching you once more. But don’t worry, she stopped once she noticed you were awake. She answered most of your questions, so you basically got the gist of what happened in the past month while you were recovering. She was smart enough to know that asking you questions would just make you more stressed, and she didn’t want that to happen to a wonderful beast like you!

But over the next week or two, as you continued to get better, the two of you started talking more. However, you seemed quite detached and quiet, as if you didn’t have a purpose anymore. Sablé questioned why you looked so solemn, but she wasn’t expecting that her suspicions were correct.

Ever since you were cast out by the Divines, you didn’t have any sense of purpose anymore. Your devotion disappeared, the only reason you lived was to serve. Now that you can’t, things have been getting worse. You questioned whether continuing to live was even worth it. If the Divines wouldn’t accept you, then who would?

Who could ever compare to such beings?

—

Since that conversation, Sablé has tried to make you her muse. Always painting you, making you model for her as she sculpts you…she just wanted to keep you close. Sure, you still felt like it was kind of a waste of time, but in those moments, you did have a purpose. Being a muse. Sometimes…you actually felt joy. Not from being carelessly and foolishly devoted to one who couldn’t even bother to acknowledge you, but joy from being regarded. Joy from not getting punished every time you accidentally messed up or moved around.

Oh, speaking of your wings, they’re much more healed now. Not well enough to fly, but enough to where the wounds you got before are practically gone, now replaced by a new set of black and light grey feathers. Hm. So they really did change from being white as snow to grey as ash. It made sense, well, a little.

She loves touching your wings, if you allow her to. She thinks they’re both beautiful and extremely soft, and seeing a slight blush on your face and little widened eyes as she combs her finger through them made her chuckle softly. Despite saying how emotionless and detached you are, you still seemed to process physical touch and feel some kind of emotion. Sablé also got a bit surprised when she tried to pet your feathered back and you had such a surprised and embarrassed reaction.

And yes, she did read about birds soon after. Well, she knew that your back was now a bit of an off-limits area…for now, at least. 😀

—

The day that she kissed you was the day you truly gained a purpose. It was completely normal, you were being told to pose for a painting, but she had to get something. Sablé told you to keep your eyes closed, which you did, and went to grab her stuff. After doing so, she walked up to you and pressed a kiss against your lips, quick and sweet, before telling you to open your eyes.

But honestly? Your eyes were wide open the moment she kissed you, so many thoughts and sudden emotions running through your head. Sablé could see that, but she tried to playfully brush it off. (She knew damn well how you were feeling in that moment)

You couldn’t help but reach your arms out to pull her in, pressing your lips against hers as you hugged her closely. She smiled.

[pretend-erin]

Stray thoughts on Kururi & Mairu

So I am probably one of the very few Kururi & Mairu fans and I want to talk about them. They are, unfortunately, victims of being anime girls from the 2000s - there are a lot of problematic things in drrr that we, as a fandom, should acknowledge and discuss. Simon, Namie, the treatment of characters like Vorona and Anri, I could go on. But right now, I want to talk about the twins.

We don’t get a lot of information on the Orihara family as a whole. All we know is that Izaya was very isolated as a child, and seemed to resent his sisters for being carbon copies of each other. So the girls decided that they would be opposites. They picked their personality traits, splitting them evenly. That’s why they act opposite in the chat room - they do it all on purpose.

I can only speculate here, but it seems like the Orihara parents may not have been around a lot. Actually nobody seems to have parents in drrr. Why was Masaomi able to do all that while he was in middle school???? And the only parents we see are awful - like Shingen?????? He’s our parental figure in this show????Anyway. It’s a pretty common headcanon that Izaya’s parents were not very present, so we can only assume the same for the girls. Izaya, due to his own issues, resented them. All they had was each other. And that is not good!

If you think about it, their codependence is really sad. They’ve had to rely on each other for everything. Even though they purposefully act different from one another, they need the other one in order to feel whole. Izaya said they were basically the same person, and they changed that. But in the process, they cut themselves in half. They’re still operating as one.

When we meet the twins, they seem pretty comfortable around the people Izaya frequently interacts with - mainly Shizuo. He clearly knows them, and knows them well enough to evade them gently. He’s a lot kinder to the girls, even if they get on his nerves.

They quickly befriend the van gang, Mikado and Anri, Shinra and Celty, and Akane. They are present at the contentious Hot Pot Party. And Izaya knows that. He knows his sisters are hanging out with all the people on his chessboard.

Suddenly, they’re part of the chatroom. They’re directly interacting with Aoba (which, are they not kinda parallels to Anri and Masaomi to Aoba’s Mikado??). They have their dojo. Akane Awakusu looks up to them. And even though they get bullied, they have a community to fall back on. They’re not alone anymore.

It kinda seems like everyone who knows Izaya stepped in as big siblings to the twins. They continuously reject him, and he rejects them back. But they have something he doesn’t. Something he’s clearly jealous of.

They’ve never really been alone, they’ve always had each other.

And yeah, the canon portrays that in a super weird way. Sometimes they take the “twisted love” concept too far. But these characters are a lot more interesting than the jokes made at their expense. Sometimes I just pretend the canon isn’t true. I don’t like it! I wish they didn’t do it!!! That’s why I never used to talk about how much I like the twins - people will always fall back on the same joke like it’s 2009. Sometimes you just have to snatch them out of the canon. Take them out of their shitty narrative, they’re mine now >:3

Unfortunately, a lot of the female characters in drrr get ignored or misrepresented by the fandom. Even Celty! Hell, the anime goes out of its way to not make Celty the main character. We get stuck with Mikado for most of the show’s run.

I guess I just find it odd that the fandom doesn’t give the same grace and understanding to the girls as they do the guys. Izaya is everyone’s poor little meow meow (and I’m including myself in that statement) but what about the TWINS???

Idk I think their parallels to Izaya are really interesting, they have everything he doesn’t have. They’re still strange, and may not fit in with their peers, but they’re treated with respect by the very people Izaya focuses most of his time and energy on.

I also think it is so funny that Izaya had two little freak sisters the entire time and we find out about them in an OVA lmao

Like the funniest thing you can do to Izaya is give him annoying little sisters and then not mention them until it’s funny to do so

It’s like when Roger Rabbit can’t take his hand out of the handcuff until it’s funny, it is so funny to introduce these two after you’ve built Izaya up so much. Like he’s just a weird guy with weird sisters. He gets mad when they join his chatroom where he pretends to be a teenage girl. They’re a cringefail family and we simply must respect that.

[solarpunkani]

Sonic the Hedgehog and Solarpunk Ideals

Alright, it's June 23rd which means not only is it Solarpunk Aesthetic Week, but it's also Sonic the Hedgehog's 32nd birthday. Let's all say Happy Birthday Sonic the Hedgehog.

Overall, that means it's time for me to do something I usually don't do on this blog--talk about Sonic the Hedgehog, one of my favorite series of all times. Specifically, how I feel it embodies Solarpunk at least a little bit. Hopefully you'll see where I'm coming from by the end of this.

Real quick though, special shout out to @modern-solarpunk for being my beta reader 100/10 owe you my life.

Alright let’s make one thing clear. I’m a Sonic nerd. I’ve been a Sonic nerd since at least the 5th grade. Sonic the hedgehog is one of My Things. IDK if I’d call it a hyperfixation, but it’s definitely one of My Things, and it’s been one of My Things longer than gardening or even Solarpunking and all the other stuff y’all know me for has been. I am about to talk y’alls ears off. Buckle up.

With that in mind, I’m not going to pretend that the Sonic franchise is a perfect franchise made by perfect people working under a perfect corporation. Even ignoring the timeline disasters, retconning, and rushed projects (*cough cough Sonic 06 and Sonic Boom cough cough*), Sonic the Hedgehog is made by a corporation in a capitalistic world who has done some… iffy things in the past, present, and likely the future. We are, here, today, strictly talking about two things--the creation of Sonic and the creation of Dr. Eggman. There will be a super special third topic I bring up later, but that's gonna be its own post. I’ll bring up a handful of things from the shows, comics, movies, etc. If I finish writing and editing and posting this whole lengthy diatribe and someone ignores this paragraph and brings up some inane unrelated shit that the Big Corporation Guys did That One Time Months/Years Ago I might snap. Yes, corporations are bad. Yes, I like Sonic. Let’s establish that.

Ok let’s actually get started.

Sonic the Hedgehog the Dude, Tiny Rebellions, and Freedom

Alright, so Sonic the Hedgehog is a series of games, movies, comic books, TV shows--it's a whole thing, it's an entire franchise. The basics of what you need to know here is that a little 3’3” superpowered anthropomorphic blue hedgehog dude and his array of equally-animalian and equally-colorful friends are ruining the robotics-based evil world takeover plans of a 6’1” egg-shaped human dude on the regular. Occasionally, there are other villains, and other storylines, and sometimes the motivations change, but that sentence boils down the Sonic the Hedgehog storyline to its base essentials. 

The Sonic franchise was dreamed up in 1990 when SEGA needed a new mascot to compete with Nintendo’s iconic Mario. Personality-wise, he’s said to have been inspired by “a modern sensibility of wanting to get things done right away, righting wrongs as they presented themselves instead of letting them linger.” As we currently know him, with Sonic “What you see is what you get--just a guy who loves adventure.” He’s a free-spirited drifter who goes with the flow, valuing freedom above all else and wanting nothing more than to live by his own rules and whims rather than bowing to the expectations of others. He loves interacting with the many cultures on his planet (which we mostly see in Sonic Unleashed, but still), trying local dishes with friends frequently. Overall, Sonic is driven by a strong sense of justice and fairness, fighting for the ideal of freedom rather than the name of the law--and he always fights for the underdog. He likes to handle things on his own, but he isn’t above looking to his friends for help when needed--and acknowledges their role in his life and achievements regularly (if he can be a bit smug at times). He appreciates scenic views and nature, with a special fondness for places filled with plants--we see him do this lots in the series--and he hates when people destroy it for their own gain. He doesn’t hate cities, though, and finds they have their own beauty.

So what’s Solarpunk about this? In my eyes, a good bit. If you don’t know what Solarpunk is, it’s described on Wikipedia as ‘a literary and artistic movement that envisions and works towards actualizing a sustainable future interconnected with nature and community.” Aesthetically, I like to describe it as a mix between sci-fi and cottagecore, with a particular leaning towards some steampunk and some cyberpunk elements, but in a brighter, cleaner, more hopeful way. It's important to note, however, that Solarpunk is also a practical and political action mindset--as much as Solarpunks dream of a hopeful future and work to visualize it, we also work to learn the concepts and take the actions needed to make it a reality. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that Sonic is super politically revolutionary, I’m here to talk about how Sonic fits into the aesthetics of Solarpunk.

As such, lets get into the point--I feel like Sonic is pretty Solarpunk, personality-wise. He just fits a lot of the core tenants--wants to right wrongs ASAP, whether they’re his wrongs or wrongs of the past. He values freedom, traveling, and beautiful natural places--a big chunk of Solarpunk is learning to appreciate and protect the natural species around you, and plenty of people have dreamed up nomadic Solarpunk societies. Even Sonic living by his own rules instead of bowing to expectations fits in Solarpunk--A Solarpunk Manifesto states that “the ‘punk’ in Solarpunk is about rebellion, counterculture… and enthusiasm. it is about going in a different direction than the mainstream…” People in the Solarpunk movement care deeply about freedom, justice, fairness, and fixing the broken systems we deal with today--and often start the legwork by forming or taking part in community-based movements and initiatives. We lean onto those around us for strength and courage, to work as a group to think of solutions to problems, whether that be something small like trading DIY patch instructions to bigger things like planning and creating community gardens to even sharing news about unionizing and more. There’s acts a Solarpunk can do alone--like guerrilla gardening, or moss graffiti, or drawing and writing concepts of a brighter future--but we all know we’re at our strongest when we’re not just one, but many. 

But one of my biggest arguments to Sonic being Solarpunk actually centers around his nemesis--Doctor Eggman.

Doctor Eggman as the Antithesis of Solarpunk

After all, it’s pretty hard to talk about how a hero of a series is Solarpunk without discussing the people and forces he fights against, and most of the time that’s Doctor Ivo Robotnik--better known to most as Dr. Eggman. He was developed more or less directly alongside Sonic the hedgehog, and as such the notes about his creation not only influence his character, but the character and vibe of most of the franchise so far. So who is Doctor Eggman?

Doctor Eggman is often described as the World’s Vilest Person--he’s evil, mean, cruel-spirited, and a self-proclaimed genius scientist who only really thinks about what he wants and what he needs to do to get it--getting pleasure in crushing anything that gets in his way. His main goal is to establish his Eggman Empire across the entire planet and build his own version of a utopia, Eggmanland--usually taking the form of a polluted, smog-filled city or a robotic theme park. His plans have varied from excavating natural spaces and turning woodland creatures into robotic slaves (Sonic 1, 2, 3), using doomsday devices to threaten nations and blow up the moon (Sonic Adventure 2), tie down planets for his own purposes (Sonic CD, Sonic Colors), or even using cosmic forces beyond his comprehension to flood metropolises or literally rip the planet apart (Sonic Adventure, Sonic Unleashed). In the comics and some shows, he even takes it a step further--a common theme with him is Roboticization, wherein people are forcibly turned from organic beings into robot slaves. Sometimes its a machine fulfilling this sometimes-irreversible process (Archie Comics, Sonic the Hedgehog Cartoon, Sonic Underground), while other times its an all-consuming virus that grows out of his control and turns almost the entire planet into raving robotic zombies (IDW Sonic Comics issues #12-29). He’s fueled by delusions of grandeur, believing that all of the world’s problems would be solved if he specifically were in charge of everyone all the time and had things his way, and makes robotic inventions and weapons to obtain power. He’s overflowing with self-confidence and pride, highlighting his ‘scientific genius’ whenever he can. He’ll leave temporary allies to rot if it gives him a chance to take all the credit and power for  himself, he looks down on everyone else and sees them as insignificant, only interested in what benefits him. Fairness and community? With Doctor Eggman? Forget it, he’ll steal candy from a baby and then turn it into a robot if given the chance. And even with robotic helpers he makes himself, he quickly gets sick of them--Eggman doesn’t do friends. 

I’d compare him to Elon Musk, but at least Dr. Eggman is actually a genius.

A Solarpunk Manifesto was published in 2019, describing Solarpunk as “A movement in speculative fiction, art, fashion, and activism that seeks to answer and embody the question ‘what does a sustainable civilization look like, and how can we get there?’”. Eggmanland is not how we get there--Doctor Eggman is an embodiment of everything the Solarpunk ideology stands against, and not entirely by accident. Here’s a quote from Yuji Naka, one of the creators of Sonic the Hedgehog.

“Robotnik was created to be the opposite of Sonic, and to be the bad guy. At that time, there was opposition between "developers" and "environmentalists", and Robotnik was created to represent machinery and development.”

He represents it pretty well--his common motifs are imperialism and pollution, and his version of a utopia is often reminiscent of pre-EPA photos of US cities. Sometimes its done to a cartoonish level--but the point still stands. Whenever we catch glimpses of Eggman’s ‘Home Bases,’ whether its Scrap Brain Zone in Sonic 1, Chemical Plant in Sonic 2, Metallic Madness in Sonic CD, or elsewhere, we’re always seeing tons of mechanization, smog, pollution, and death robots.

Solarpunks aren’t opposed to technology--not in the slightest. But I feel its safe to say that any Solarpunk would be opposed to the over-industrialized, hyper-mechanized, pollution-riddled empire hellscape that Eggman would call heaven. (And you know damn well he'd be all over those Boston Dynamic robot dogs if he were real). To me, Eggman represents the grim-dark futures that apocalyptic stories tell us we’re barreling towards--the darker, less sunny side of the already dystopian cyberpunk genre. Solarpunk is the sun that burns away at smoggy futures, the light that reveals what we can have instead, the ideas that lead to actions to secure it. Its hope in a bottle--hope that we can enjoy and add to, a dream that we can help make into a reality. The ideals are chock full of resisting the real-life Eggmans who want to send humanity into a nose-dive of mechanization and energy-burning self-destruction for the sake of short-lived profits and smug ego-trips. 

Is Sonic a strictly Solarpunk series? I wouldn’t necessarily say so. But I think if the themes and terms had existed in 1990, it certainly would have been cited as a bit of an inspiration. Whether the Solarpunk community would have been chill with a corporation citing the term as inspiration is a whole other deal.

Stay tuned for this posts' sequel, where I talk about how I feel my favorite game in the series--Sonic Colors--is Solarpunk.

[crimsonhobbit]

Fucks part 2

Part 1 can be read here.

For those who don't want to read that part, here's what you need to know from that part:

I’ve been trying to work on my mental health and shit lately. Part of that includes doing a reread of a few books I own: Unfuck Yourself, the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, and You Are a Badass. Not getting into detail about all of them, but one main point of the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is actually choosing what to give a fuck about. It’s not saying be an indifferent asshole. It’s saying that you need to make your fucks count. Like, do you really need to give a fuck that some guy online thinks you’re weird? Not really. There’s no point. But should you give a fuck about that weird thing your back has been doing? Probably. See what I’m saying? My entire life I’ve given too many fucks about shit that I have no need to give a fuck about. What’s that gotten me? Anxiety. A lot of fucking anxiety.

Part 1 was written on my writing blog because it was all about writing.

Part 2 is being post on my "main" (that isn't used as much, but whatever) because it's not about writing.

Side note: If this is rambly...I've had a bottle of wine. So sue me. I'm a fucking adult.

I'm choosing to not give a fuck about social media. I've tried to make friends over the years on various social media sites. My three best friends, ironically, are back from when Tumblr allowed porn. Like, my oldest is about to be 15 and I've known them since he was still chubby type of deal.

For awhile posting/replying on most social media sites gave me a mass amount of anxiety. "What if they think I'm annoying?" "What if they roll their eyes every time I reply to them?" etc. My mind is my own worst enemy.

Fast forward to this past month or so. I said "fuck it!". I've been replying. I've been retweeting. I've signed up for OTHER social media sites. I've been posting. Basically, I've been using SM like you're supposed to. And it's really no different.

I still rarely get replies (and 99.9% it's always the same 1-2 people and I adore them for that!). I still rarely get my comments/replies acknowledged. I'm over here trying to connect with people and feeling like Roxie's husband from Chicago. Mr(s). Cellophane.

One on hand? Awesome, my anxiety wasn't warrented. No one is being a dick. Cool!

On the other? It's...awkward. You know that feeling when you're in a group, you start talking, and then someone talks over you? So you just slowly...stop talking? And no one notices. Kinda gives me that vibe.

Plus, it's a cesspool. No matter how much I try to get rid of seeing bigots/hate/stupid fighting? It doesn't do shit. Which, I'm glad people I follow stand up to twatwaffles. I am. However, when everything boils down to black and white? It's fucking PATHETIC! No one can post anything without someone jumping down their throat, and then others dogpiling on them. I don't mean valid things like bigotry (but even then if someone miss speaks and then tries to apologize? People never give them a change to do better. You fuck up ONCE and you're done). I mean silly things/things that have no bearing on life itself.

It's all one big popularity contest.

The pretty girls. They can recycle posts from other people/only post pictures of themselves and people trip over themselves to talk to them. I'm not faulting them, either. I'm a sucker for a pretty woman, too!

The shit talkers. You know exactly who I'm talking about. The loud ones who will get in on any and all drama. You can't recall any "happy" posts by them. They're like trainwrecks. You just can't look away.

Those two are the ones I've noticed the most lately. I know there are other catagories, but I'm watching Avatar: The Last Airbender and it's really hard not to make 3: The Fire Nation.

I wasn't popular in high school, and nothing about that has changed. And it's not like I want to be popular. Just...welcome? Accepted? I don't know.

I'm just not gonna try anymore. I'll hop on now and then. I'll like a few things that catch my eye. I'll post random things. But I'm kinda over it. Not over it enough to just delete everything, because I need somethingt to scroll while I wait for my food to cook lmao.

That, and I have a social media experiment planned for October. I have a spread sheet and everything (how often I post per social media account- twitter, bluesky, threads, facebook, how many likes I get on each, and how many replies. Shares don't count, only OG posts by me). I see me forgetting about this after a week, though. That's how my things usually go. I just like averages and shit. They make me happy.

So, yeah.

That's where I'm at.

[evertidings]

big brained anon here from a's most recent analysis. i have smth for rylan. rem when i said 'comfortable sharing trauma in jokes rather than in serious situations because they dont wan to face those feelings for a second time', well based on Rylan's lines on the game "if i told you all of my secrets, I wouldnt have any part of me left." my girl/boy/person has trust issues 100%. they think that if they smile, and are able to make jokes about certain situations that make them uncomfortable, they can grow comfortable with the situations, meaning that they can hide who they are from the public, after all "give them enough to form a relationship with you, but never enough to hurt you". They're exhausted by their own game that they're the only ones hurting themselves (self sabotage) at this point, but they're either not self aware enough to acknowledge that or bury their feelings so far down that they dont have to acknowledge being self aware enough. that's why they play the game they do, how far they can flirt with someone or make someone hate them before they pull away, as stated in the book. it's because they dont know how to be in tune with their own emotions, that playing this game with other people's emotions is the only way they can indirectly handle their own. playing this game with emotions is the only way they allow themselves to feel, but it ends in more self sabotage because they bury it again. also, you mentioned they havent let themselves cry in a while. probably because letting themsleves cry means they have to let out all the emotions they've been hiding over the years, but thats so scary for them, why should we confront something when we've been avoiding it for so long? this is so long, and i was gonna try to write more, but idk maybe not. hope im somewhere on the right path lmao

okay this one’s so interesting to me because like, it’s half right and half wrong. and maybe i’m gaslighting myself but i’m kinda happy you didn’t guess it all because it means Rylan’s still kinda a mystery, which, is what i want them to stay as. at least for now.

i’ll say that it’s the ‘playing with emotions’ bit is what’s wrong here. i’m sure it wasn’t your intention but it kinda makes Rylan seem like sadistic haha which, they’re not. they don’t enjoy hurting other people. if anything, they almost take pleasure in hurting themself? or, how do i explain this. you could almost say it’s their version of a test. they like seeing how far they can go as a way to see how far they’ve come in blocking off their emotions. they’re nowhere near emotionally constipated as K, but after being hurt in the past, they perceive caring for people as a crux, so they basically want to see if they’ve ‘improved’ on that front.

but yeah, it’s definitely self-sabotage. and they realize this, but they’ve accepted that’s what they need. they’ve trusted people and been betrayed—it’s not something they want to go through again. and these aren’t, like, small betrayals like hanging out without you. to Rylan, they’re life-changing and they’d rather run than go through that again.

but yes !! if you have more analyses i’d love to hear them <3

[ramix-the-red]

A Rambling Character Study on Norland von Luneberg

Yea I’m sure this one’s gonna go over well. This isn’t really structured or anything I just have a head full of thoughts and wanted to vomit them out onto the internet. When discussing Norland as a character, we have to start at his main defining characteristic: which is that he does not like to talk. Norland is a very taciturn man, he says very, very little, and only when necessary. But it goes beyond just him being introverted or quiet, he takes it to an extreme, seeming almost robotic. He speaks very formally, reflecting his cover as an aristocrat, and usually in very short sentences, with very blunt delivery, and usually little to no emotion on his face, either permanently scowling, or occasionally giving a tiny little smirk. When he talks, it is almost entirely functional, he delivers the information that he needs to deliver, be that an order or a formality or a threat, and says nothing else. Now, the important thing here isn’t that he doesn’t talk much, it’s the times when he does talk that stand out. But I’ll get to that in a bit.

First, I want to cover why Norland is the way he is. No, it isn’t because he’s a clone, that is only incidental. The reason Norland is the way he is is because of his upbringing. In the final act, the OP changes in a couple ways to reflect Norland. The first change is that we see a young Norland with his hands pressing against a screen (maybe whatever test tube he was made in?), contrasted with the image of the Phoenix brothers, Ash and Nichol, walking hand in hand. While the Phoenix brothers are together, and smiling, baby Norland is alone, and looking sad. Then, we cut to an older Norland, taking off his mask and scowling, while Ash is training in the background. 

Norland was raised to view himself as a vessel for Charles, he was taught that he was not human, that he did not have a purpose beyond being a spare body for the Emperor. Even when he was made a Knight of the Rounds, he reported directly to Charles and mostly stayed in the background, and judging by the type of jobs he sent Ash on, he was presumably used as a weapon for Charles’s plans before his true purpose could be fulfilled. Norland was never given a life of his own or even allowed to have his own feelings or desires, stripped of his humanity, he viewed himself as separate from other human beings, and began to hate them. Then Charles died, Ragnarok failed, and Lelouch upended the entire Empire. Just like that, Norland’s only purpose was gone, and all he had left was his hatred, so like the killing machine he was raised to be, he devoted himself to it in full-force.

The importance of relationships between parents and their children is not a new theme in Code Geass, Lelouch’s daddy issues are somewhere between a quarter and half of his motivations depending on what point in the show he’s in. But in a show with plenty of bad parents, Norland sets a whole new standard for bad fathers. Being a clone of Charles, he’s obviously the first comparison, and it’s a very stark contrast. At first it’s easy to just look at them both and go “Well they’re both shitty dads whatever”, but it goes beyond that. One of the big twists to Charles’s character near the end is that he actually does love his children, in fact, his love for his family is basically his one redeeming trait. Yes, he treated Lelouch and Nunnally like trash, but in his mind, this was his way of protecting them, he believed that he was doing what was best for them. I’ve already gone on about this before so I’m not gonna repeat myself on Charles’s parenting stuff, the important part is that despite everything, Charles does love his children. This makes the way Norland treats Ash (and Nichol) stand out even more. He barely even acknowledges Nichol, and treats Ash as nothing more than a tool. It doesn’t even seem like he lets them live in the same house as him, leaving them in a run-down shack on the manor grounds. Then the instant Nichol causes trouble, he kills him without a second thought, and ships Ash off to prison (he doesn’t even bother to do this himself, he just pawns the job off on Nara). 

Charles was a man defined by his connections to his family. His dead mother, his beloved big brother, his kids, and his wife Marianne. But Norland had none of that growing up, the shot of the OP makes this contrast very stark, many have even theorized that part of the reason for Norland’s awful treatment of the Phoenix brothers is jealousy. He resents humans for not being one of them, and he resents the brothers for having the type of connection that he never had, so he takes it out on them. When Ash pleaded for Nichol’s life and offered to be useful enough for the both of them, Norland could very well have just turned him down and had Nichol thrown out, or just killed them both and picked up another orphan to use as his tool. Did he accept because he believed that Ash’s love for his brother would make him motivated enough to be an effective tool (inspired by the bond that Charles and V.V. shared), or was it out of spite?

It’s notable that Norland is actually a very hands-off abuser. He gives orders to Ash, but he doesn’t really bother with doling out punishment, or even training him. He pawns that job off to Scissorman (who actually seems to be the closest thing Norland has to a friend, but I don’t really have much to say on that front, I just think it’s neat). The one time we see Norland actually interacting with Ash on anything beyond a functional level, it’s when he gives him the fateful “kill your own heart” mantra. This is the first and only time that Norland gives anything resembling fatherly advice to his son. Even the way he says it is odd. For a man who’s speech patterns are incredibly stiff and blunt, he sounds almost poetic the way he describes it, it almost sounds like he thinks it's for Ash’s own good. “If you find the killing becomes too hard for you, then kill your heart. Do that, and you’ll no longer feel anything.” This is probably the same advice Norland was given, or that he gave to himself.

Norland is what Ash would have become if he never had anyone to love, or who loved him. The cycle of abuse goes on and on and on and on.

As I’ve ranted about before, Charles is a very, very similar person to Lelouch in many ways. They both wanted to tear down the corrupt system that took away their mothers, used lies and a grandiose persona to raise an army that would do their bidding, and when they found that the problems with Britannia were too entrenched to be solved even by an Emperor, they instead decided to tear it all down (albeit in radically different ways). Whether this was intentionally done to emulate Charles, or whether it was a subconscious similarity, or just poetic fate, Norland did the exact same thing that Charles did, and raised a son who was his own mirror image, through abuse.

When Norland fights with Ash atop the palace, it’s one of the few times he breaks his trend of purely functional speaking. He actually trades banter (sort-of) and taunts Ash while they fight. Like I said before, the fact that Norland doesn’t like to talk isn’t the important part, it’s the fact that when he does speak up becomes more noticeable. As awful of a father as he is, his interactions with his adopted son are some of the few times he seems to show something resembling emotion. We even get a direct and obvious contrast here, to really drive it in that this was intentional. When he fights against Catherine he is quiet for almost the entire fight, even while Catherine is ranting and pouring her heart out, he doesn’t say a word until the very end, and he has the same bored scowl on his face the whole time. 

His fight with Ash is entirely different. He elaborates his plans and talks about the Foulbout, he gloats about his victory. He even explicitly tells Ash that he has no reason to stick around and fight him (indeed, he could just activate his flight mode and get out of Ash’s reach and he wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it), before deciding to fight him anyway. It’s reminiscent of Lelouch’s confrontation with Charles, where he tricks his son into thinking that his Geass had worked, before revealing that he had a Code all along. It’s almost like he’s humoring his kid, a dark parody of playing pretend with his son. While fighting against Ash, Norland has a smile on his face the whole time. For all his disregard for human life, Norland is not a sadistic man, he sees people as cockroaches (in the words of the staff) and disposes of them in the same bored, passionless way that one would get rid of some bugs in their house. Even in private he only seems to feel satisfaction and relief at the end when he believes his plan to wipe out all human life is about to be finished, the way one would take pride in completing a job. But he smiles the whole time when he fights against Ash. 

Then there’s the ending of said fight. Again, the contrast with Catherine is stark, and obviously deliberate. Rather than just casually throwing him off the side of the building, the Foulbout grabs a hold of the Apollo by the face, and gently cups its head. It’s almost like he’s cradling his child, before he lets go and lets him fall. It’s the closest Norland ever comes to showing anything resembling affection for another person. Then there’s his words at the end (this is the first time in the entire fight that Norland isn’t shown smiling, by the way): “Your presence is no longer required.”

Why was Ash’s presence required in the first place? What purpose did he serve? Obviously he stopped being an assassin a long time ago, there wasn’t any role for him in Norland’s plans. I’ve seen JP fans theorizing that Norland raised Ash so that he would be the one to kill him. If true, then that only makes the ending even more heartwrenching.

Like I mentioned before, Charles was a man who was defined by his strong relationships with his family, something which Norland never had. And yet a trace of the true self exists in the false self. For just a few seconds, that affection Charles had for his children, something Norland never showed, shines through in his vessel, if only the tiniest glimpse. 

The premise of him being Charles’s clone obviously invited comparison between the two. And in many, many ways, Norland is actually very different from Charles, even aside from their feelings on family. Charles was bombastic and charismatic, a schemer who relied on others to do the physical work for him (much like Lelouch), who rallied his followers with nationalistic jingo to inspire loyalty. Norland is a taciturn and blunt fighter, even named as a Knight of the Rounds, and he personally fights the protagonists in the final battle. But for all their differences, the way they actually operate to fulfill their goals is actually very similar.

Charles never actually believed a word of the imperialist, nationalist, darwinist propaganda he spouted. In fact, he actively hated all of those things and wanted to create a world without them, but he used them to stir up a nationalist fervor and fuel the imperial war machine so that he could achieve his goals and gain access to all the gates. Similarly, Norland doesn’t actually believe in or care about the Neo-Britannian cause, he only uses this as a masquerade to gather disenfranchised remnants of the empire under his control. The conquest of the world was only ever an after-thought to Charles, a means to an end that would make it easier for him to complete the Ragnarok Connection. Norland doesn’t actually care about any of the battles against the resistance, every step of his plan, up to the very end, serves only to buy time and keep people from interfering with him until the Loki’s are ready to go, and when the fighting starts to become impractical he instead uses diplomacy as a smoke-screen. They do diverge in their end-goals, however. Charles viewed all of the death and destruction caused by his war as a necessary sacrifice. Once the Ragnarok Connection was achieved all the minds of the dead would return from C’s World and rejoin the living, so what did it matter how many people had to die when he could just bring them back into a perfect paradise? Norland doesn’t care how many of his subordinates die in the process of his war because, like Charles, the actual war is only a smoke-screen, though in this case, the mass death is the point. Charles sought to create a world without death, Norland wanted to create a world of only death.

Ash isn’t the only one who seems to draw out some emotion from Norland. The other one is Sakuya, who is herself also family to him, in a way.

The first example of this is when he speaks to Sakuya while she’s tied up in Scissorman’s lab, and the first thing he does is comment on her “uncanny resemblance” (presumably to Lelouch, but maybe he’s talking about Sherry here or something?). Again, this is one of the few instances where Norland’s dialogue is not purely functional. He gains nothing from pointing this out, he has no reason to say this to her, he doesn’t bring it up again in the conversation, it doesn’t even make much sense for him in the context of his cover story. So Sakuya looks like her uncle, so what? No one else ever brings this up in-universe, it’s not really important. But it’s important to Norland.

Then there’s his desire for Geass. Why did he want it? Did he just think that Geass would be a useful tool in his plans? No, if that were the case he could’ve just left it to Scissorman, had him ask about that during his experiments, he was already interrogating her anyway, but Norland finds this important enough to personally intervene and ask her about it himself. Even the way Scissorman frames this is odd: “But I have a promise to keep before that.” A promise? Norland is his boss, he could’ve just said this was an order, but he specifically calls it a promise. Why was this so important to Norland? Simple, it’s because he wants to be like Charles. Charles had a Geass, so Norland wishes to have one as well. Even when his original purpose of serving as a vessel for Charles is completely impossible, Norland still wants to be as close to Charles as he possibly can. He doesn’t see himself as his own person, he sees himself as a tool (again with the parallels to Ash) with the purpose of being Charles’s body, and wants to fulfill that purpose, or failing that, kill everyone. Perhaps this even influenced his decision to adopt Ash and Nichol. Charles was a father, so Norland wishes to be one as well.

The next time they speak is when he’s about to enter the Foulbout, when the big reveal is dropped. Once again, Norland breaks his taciturn streak. In fact, this is the most we ever see him talk to anyone. When he remembers that Sakuya is part of Charles’s family, he even takes off his mask to show her his face, and explains his background to her. Even with the oh-so-often mocked scene of Sakuya guessing his motivations and him telling her she’s wrong. He didn’t have to correct her, he could have just stayed quiet while she guessed at his motivations and not said anything, but he actually answers her questions, and even turns around to smile at her when she guesses the right answer. What purpose did this serve? He had nothing to gain from it, it contributed nothing to his plan.

Norland wanted to be acknowledged by a member of Charles’s family, a member of his family. In many ways, you could say that Norland is more like Sakuya’s uncle than he is her grandfather. He wanted someone to see that he was similar to Charles and recognize him, validating him in his desire to be Charles’s vessel. For all his disdain towards humans, he wants someone to know why he’s doing all this, in what he probably believes will be the last time he ever speaks to another person, he feels the need to explain himself. And he chooses to reveal this to Sakuya, Charles’s granddaughter.

He talks about how he’s not human, but this has nothing to do with the circumstances of his birth, it’s just his way of rationalizing what was done to him, and he lashes out at the rest of the world in anger, even if he tries to dress it up in a grandiose philosophical way. He believes he’s a tool with only two purposes: to serve as Charles’s spare body, and to kill. The first purpose is now impossible, so he’s decided to dedicate himself fully to the second.

[dulcewrites]

you will hopefully watch hotd s2 and tell us ur thoughts my liege 🙂‍↕️

Ok so i was thinking about how to answer this because like… I’m not going to watch the full thing 💀. I only watched a couple of the episodes in entirety. I would say the only, and I truly mean only, good thing that’s come out of the rampant leak culture within this fandom is that I didn’t have to waste my time on a show that would not live up to my expectations. Which is wild because while I was excited for s2, my expectations were low.

I think my largest problem with hotd is not the changes or the plot points themselves, but how we get there. So I’ll just give you a couple of thoughts I had by character (gonna lump some together bc how storylines went):

Rhaena, Baela, Corlys, and Rhaenys: I’m lumping them together bc that’s essentially what the show does. Now this may be a #controversial opinion but the Velaryons gave Rhaenyra’s cheerleaders in f&b so I’m not surprised that’s their role in the show. People seem to the think the Velaryons were not makers of their own demise when honestly they were. Viserys and Rhaenyra played a big role don’t get me wrong, but they (Corlys) were hellbent on having his blood on the throne. IMO they are being portrayed as beholden to Rhaenyra, which they were in the book. That being said, show doesn’t help an already poor portrayal. Baela not advocating for Rhaena to get the Driftwood throne after Corlys offers it to her makes no sense. The “I am fire and blood” line from her was corny (she is her grandmother’s child lol) and just weird considering she is ALSO salt and sea because of her mom??? She was literally fostered by her grandmother on Driftmark?? It just goes back to this idea that everyone needs to prop up Rhaenyra. And how Rhaenyra’s plight is most important. Bc why cant Baela and Rhaena advocate for themselves while advocating for Rhaenyra. It would actually only strengthen Rhaenyra’s point.

Rhaenys had her moments but the way the writers clearly use her as a sounding board is heavy handed. Her death fell flat for me bc honestly idc. The writers handled Corlys’s affair poorly. At the same time Rhaenys being a “he knows where home is” woman makes sense for her lmao. She’s def that brand of faux liberal white women that immediately folds for the men around them.

Rhaena possibly claiming a dragon is all around a dumb choice. While I don’t like it for the character herself bc it’s sad, I do think it was interesting watching Rhaenyra make it clear that the girls are sort of expendable. I don’t think she hates them or anything, but at the end of the day her priority is her boys. Hence why she had no problem taking even more agency from a girl clearly struggling with being the black sheep of her family. She basically tells Rhaena that since she has no dragon, the best thing she can do is be a caregiver.

Tangent but I don’t think Jeyne was as rude as people insisted she was. She’s been ruling for some time and lrb is taking a leap supporting Rhaenyra. Why is it bad she expected Rhaenyra to uphold her end of the bargain.

Daemon and Alys: Harrenhal did the heavy lifting. I appreciate them leaning into the magic and mystery around it. It is one of the through lines that made sense and was carried out. That being said, and I’m fine with people calling me bias for saying this, but Daemon is simply not very interesting to me. That whole thing was at its most interesting when Rhaenyra was yelling at him. The plotline was dragged out for too long and almost feels futile considering how it ended.

I like the story they have began for Alys. It would have been very easy to do the seductive, evil witch thing. I like that she’s off kilter but also very grounded and normal. That being said, I don’t trust them with her 🤷🏽‍♀️

Jace: I appreciate them finally acknowledging how Jace feels about his parentage. He sees how fragile the lines of legitimacy are and he’s scared. I think it sets a good parallel between Rhaenyra and Viserys as parents. She is putting her children, at least Jace and Joffrey, in the same position Viserys put her in. But despite the enjoying the choice, there isn’t anything that special something with this plot imo. Emma does sort of act circles around Harry at times and it can be hard to watch but he did a pretty good job with the stuff the writers gave him.

Rhaenyra: I… honestly don’t know what to say about her lmao. I feel like she always gets taken to a point where she can be really fascinating… then they immediately reign her back out of fear she will come off “unlikeable”. Which is crazy bc it’s been established that the general public, regardless of what is actually happening, will side with Rhaenyra. So, why not have some fun with her. I often walk away not knowing what kind of character or person they want Rhaenyra to be. I can’t even really call her complex. She’s like a bunch of tropes just sort of mashed together when the plot sees fit. Emma deserves better material.

Also the constant mentioning the prophecy is so annoying. I thought it added an interesting layer to Rhaenyra’s story in the beginning but it’s almost becoming a get out of jail free card. All her choices can be chalked up not to ambition or want but to some random riddle.

Whew ok now let’s get into the messy part

Criston: Easily had some of the best/consistent writing not only for team green but the whole show this season. But people are hellbent on hating him so much of it just goes unnoticed. The only ire I have with Criston storyline is alicole. Not them together in a vacuum (I said before i see the beauty in both alicole and rhaenicent, though both are better when things are left unsaid), but more not knowing how they got together. The hard cut to them having sex as two repressed people leaves much to be desired. It’s basically set up to make them look like hypocrites despite Alicent being a widow and Criston knowing her for essentially two decades. Have them be together versus having blood and cheese play out like it did in the book, with Alicent being with Helaena and the kids, sort of proved to me the relationship was used as a gotcha moment.

But him calling Alicent a beacon is sweet.

Helaena: Ummm ???? Much like how Rhaenys is just a sounding board for the writer to hammer us over the head with, Helaena’s dreams get used at the whims of the plot. Because how did Helaena go from speaking in riddles that even she doesn’t seem fully understand to knowing exactly what they mean? Seeing that far into the future? Either that was just something made up so she could get a dig in against Aemond (blaming him for everything which is… a choice). Or they were used to absolve daemon (not good) or used to retroactively try and fix problems created by GOT (yawn).

Possible she’s always known what her dreams meant and just decided not to make them understandable (NOT GOOD!!).

She barely grieves Jaehaerys pass the funeral on screen. I thought the “they killed the boy” line was weird. Why not just say his name 💀💀💀? Alicent calls him the boy too like ???? Also we are supposed to believe the bug girl doesn’t want to ride her dragon….

I think the only bright spot of her storyline has been the bond between her and Alicent. It makes sense that Alicent would cling to her daughter who she sees as innocent and that Helaena would seek refuge in her mother.

Aegon: another #controveral opinion maybe but whenever people are like poor Aegon, I just think of that clip from Big Little Lies where Madeline is like “I don’t give a fuck about homeless people!” 😭 (I swear it makes sense in context). It’s sort of the same problem for me that I had with Jace. The arc is fine, set up well especially compared to others but like… eh 🤷🏽‍♀️. Plus all the Aegon stans being weird about Alicent are doing too much at times. Like were yall not also complaining about his writing in s1.

Aemond: I did like that they leaned into Aemond making it seem like he did mean to kill Luke. But in private clearly having guilt over it. I think it was the best choice they could make considering the change to Luke’s death. Just knowing how insecure Aemond is, it would make no sense for him to admit to not having full control over Vhagar in that moment. Them not showing us Alicent’s response to him killing Luke goes in the alicole pile of missed opportunities. Like did he even try to explain or was he hellbent on pretending from jump.

It’s strange to me that people thought his resentment towards Aegon came out of nowhere. It’s pretty much set up from the first moment the two of them interact in s1. I don’t think any of the points Aemond had made about Alicent and the war (ie saying that she was the one that mentioned them being in danger) were wrong but I think the sudden aggressive nature towards Helaena was weird.

Alicent: well… where do we begin lmao? I already touched on why I didn’t care for the alicole thing. Let’s just address the elephant in the room: this whole “Alicent is free” bs isn’t real bc she’s still under the subjugation of a Targaryen - this time it’s just Rhaenyra So that’s supposed to make it better in some people’s eyes. I’m sorry but even as someone who has gone on record saying that I think the change they made to Rhaenicent was the best one, I can’t just let poor execution slide. I don’t even think Alicent having little loyalty to Aemond or Aegon comes out of nowhere. She has constantly, to a fault, reaffirmed her trust in Rhaenyra. What I don’t like is the writers first saying that Alicent needs to be humbled… as opposed to what? The super confident Alicent that’s always winning??? Then painting her coming to Rhaenyra as her choosing herself or some sort of liberation. Ok, then why can’t she say one mean word about the man that abused her? Why is it that she can see through Otto (or at least she did at the end of s1… another thing that was seemingly undid). But not Viserys, the man who happily went along with it. Why does Rhaenyra get have a moment where she realizes much her desire towards daemon was envy for what daemon represented. Or realizing he is a tool in her subjugation and how she’s sort of stuck in this weird space with him (she even says that when she was young, him being difficult was a “challenge” but as an adult she realizes how fraught that is). But Alicent continues to insists that Viserys was a good man, father, husband, and king… all things that aren’t true.

Every person in the show at nausea talks about how great Viserys was. The writers even say him and Alicent had a “loving relationship”, so clearly they don’t think that man maritally raped her. It’s odd they write her, even without the modern tools we have to explain gross relationships like the one Viserys started, to understand her children are by products of an injustice but she can’t disparage the man who did said thing to her.

People will be like “Well, she’s an abuse victim, of course she would feel that way. Some victims do learn to love their abusers as a coping mechanism.” Which is true. But if the narrative continues to tell us one thing, it is clear the makers of the show actually think that. By those rules, they don’t see Alicent as a victim. There lies the issue in how they write her. It sounds absolutely vile to say a rape victim who spent all her adult life suffering needs to be knocked down a peg. Ryan even mentioned Driftmark knife scene which strange. Alicent immediately admonished herself for that and the next episode was begging Rhaenyra to come back. She has always humbled herself for others.

If it was really about protecting Helaena and her granddaughter, why not just go? Better yet, why not realize that you are two queens with a princess and that will surely raise questions regardless of where you go? Isn’t Alicent supposed to be politically savy - she says as much to Aegon. Why run to Rhaenyra and self flagellate for her enjoyment. Why does Rhaenyra essentially spew back every criticism the gp has about Alicent? And why does Alicent just take that if it is about liberation.

There are plenty of other people who have expressed the problems with Alicent’s writing better than I have but this is just my thoughts.

TLTR: I think by trying to make people more sympathetic or interesting, the writers/showrunners have stripped any need for a war. The whole “women good and don’t like war - men bad and do like war” is so trivial and frankly very strange to watch as a woman. It is possible to show Alicent and Rhaenyra realizing the price of war without completely pecking at the story. Which is saying something because Fire and Blood itself is bare bones and not great at all. If the end goal is just proving that war isn’t needed and stripping any motion each side has to fight… why tell THE war story in Targaryen history.

[sullustangin]

SWTOR 7.3 Feedback

Non-spoilery stuff first

No technical glitches that I experienced on two playthroughs on Pubside.  Minus one or two moments with Odessen NPCs wandering around, nothing broke the game or immersion.  All the quests worked for credit; I had the weekly for Ruhnuk not work the time round, so this was nice. 

I am aware that there are some financial changes they’re trying to patch back.  Basically, too much is being charged between trades with other players directly and when mailing to alts.  Also!  There is now a 30-day cooldown period between joining a guild and being able to access the guild bank. So get those alts in sooner rather than later, especially if you plan on raiding/doing group stuff with them.

On the Gunslingers and Snipers you now have a 2% per 3 seconds passive heal while in cover  -- level 64 option.  This is a big deal for survivability for these two classes.  I ran dailies and set my companion to DPS.  I had to pause and heal the comp after combat, not myself.   No more glass cannon, but this might be nerfed soon, since it’s a little op.  I’m going to have fun with it while I can.

If you love the Mantellian Privateer or Mira’s Armor from KOTOR II but can’t afford either on Cartel Market, good news:  the Mira set from Bounty Association (the event that comes around every 1-2 months) is now unlockable in collections.  So if you have a Mando char that goes hard on Bounty week, you now have a new cert sink + unlock with Cartel Points for the whole account.  There are some subtle differences in the outfits for the discerning Space Barbie player.

The Date Nights don’t happen in this patch; I would guess it will probably be activated during Night Life in July. Speculation on my part, though

Non-Spoilery Plot Stuff:  A lot of characters that we had the previous option to kill are present in this patch.  This really gives me hope for future content; I previously complained that Bioware was writing to the deadest version of the game (where they assume everyone is dead and only work with Lana).  We got A LOT of coverage with ‘optional’ characters, so this does give me hope for the future writing: assume everyone is alive, and some people get less content.  I’ll talk about what that means later for this patch.

Onward to spoilery stuff.

Torian does get an Alliance alert, which his ba’vodu Eva answered; this is unromanced I feel good about the Torian piece I just reblogged, because it seems consistent with what we see here.  Torian thought the drama over his father was over, the shame was done, the name redeemed -- and there is all is, resurrected from the dead.  Even more content with our neighborhood Mando really does make me want equivalent content with Vette; given that (shitty) decision was almost 7 years ago now and we JUST got a storyline with payoff for that choice, Vette needs some love now, romantic or platonic, beyond Date Night. 

The only downside to letting Torian live at the moment, especially if you’re a smug or bh, is that you lose quality screen time with Akaavi Spar on Ruhnuk. She comes to your rescue in the final fight.  I also feel as if this scene should have been back with the 6.2 content drop, when the banner is first stolen, but it does work here as well, with the burning of it compounding all of Torian’s feelings about his history. 

While Eva does hate that burnt tater thot, the content for Arcann was really good.  I actively wonder if they are pulling things from the aborted third KotXX expansion.  THIS is the character development many of us wanted to see before romancing him: we wanted to see the realization of what he’d done, the desire to fix things, the acknowledgement it may never be enough for some people.  Ding Ding Ding!  I did view both versions of the Darth Nul investigation -- I killed him on DS Eva and let him live on my sunshine and Rainbows LS smug Dyo -- and the version with Arcann in it is so much better.  You also get an additional scene with him; romanced folks get a hug! 

Like the Torian scene, this Arcann development probably should have been earlier in the plotline, but WAAAAY earlier -- like 6+ years.  I think before the romance trigger, most definitely, but at least by the time of Nathema, especially if the Commander takes any of his advice to heart regarding Theron.  I think this falls to fan fic writers to fix, in terms of char dev. 

As I mentioned above, both of these guys are killable.  And they got some great content this patch.  The story feels better with both of them in it. 

As for our dynamic duo, Lana and Theron do show up and play a vocal role with Shae in regard to the interrogation of Malgus.  Theron does get to call Shae out on her working with Malgus to sack Coruscant 2x years ago (I have no idea what year we’re in since COVID screwed everything up).  We also get wonderfully protective partners in Lana and Theron.  Theron makes a comment that the work among other “benefits” keep him young if you’ve romanced him -- poor Lana.  There is noticeable smoldering going on between him and the romanced PC.  Theron does provide significant dialogue content and reaction shots, even though he’s killable.  And of course you get a Theron letter, which alludes to Date Night.  In sum, I don’t think Theron was at all side-lined compared to Lana.

The one weak part of all this is the tenuous connection between the Voss and Malgus’s plans.  In part, it’s becacuse Sana Rae had to be on Voss and decided to kill a few birds with one stone (or one Commander).   It boils down to a vision in which the PC saves the galaxy again.  We do get the tidbit that if we outright kill Malgus, things happen faster, but ‘things’ are ‘inevitable.’  Some of the ‘mundane’ quests verge on the ridiculous, but Star Wars always stomps on character hubris when it can. 

Did I enjoy going back to Voss?  Yup.  Did it make sense, given the nature of the Arcann content?  Yup; if you didn’t spare Arcann, this feels more contrived than if you did, in my opinion.  If I recall correctly, Voss was supposed to be visited in an earlier expansion but that was also canned. 

The transition from Bioware to Broadsword may be bringing old things back to life to ‘finish’ the game -- or start a new beginning.  I remain optimistic.  I will say that the old story of Voss and the new story post Eternal Empire does spin together well.

Good patch, in my opinion, minus the issues with the economic system that are ongoing.

[kenjakusbraincum]

I’m currently crafting an OC that is Sukuna’s wife!

Her name is Furukawa Fumiko, but is referred to as and is called ‘Ayuna’ meaning ‘blood red’ she refers to her love for the color red when she was human and when she became the Queen of Curses; the color for markings, her eyes, hands and feet, and horns.

First thing about her? She is so goddamn autistic. Granted, she was born in the Hein era so her ‘quirks’ were either noted as peculiar or endearing in some shape or form.

- She and Sukuna met when they were still human, and she wasn’t scared of him and while she acknowledged that he was a strong sorcerer, she didn’t overly praise him or cower in fear like most people.

- She has mastered the art of ‘masking’ aka putting on a front that is deep socially acceptable to neurotypical people, she keeps her expression neutral and mostly expresses herself through her eyes and tone.

- Has a logical way of thinking, being strategic with every choice she makes but isn’t completely void of emotions, she just doesn’t let them rule her.

- LOVES her Jūnihitoe, they’re basically her equivalent of our modern day weighted blanket that bring her comfort and security and wears either 12 or 20 layers.

- when she was human she had black hair so long it reaches her calves (kind of hates it and wants to cut it) but it turned white when she changed, along with her eyes that were once green and turned red.

- Hates the tradition of dyeing teeth black (stopped doing it when she left the imperial court and officially joined up with Sukuna).

- She is a Jujutsu sorcerer but I’m still working on what her cursed technique is along with her backstory; but the main premise is that she was born into a noble family and was apart of the imperial court for a long time before finally freeing herself from her personal hell.

- I’m teasing with the idea that Kenjaku is to Fumiko what Yorozu is to Sukuna; a massive pain in the ass. However, with Kenjaku it’s more of a twisted ‘Notice me, Senpai!’ as Kenjaku and Fumiko both were apart of the imperial court as Jujutsu sorcerers but she rarely interacted with her fellow sorcerers as she wasn’t a socially person (and most of them were sexist assholes anyway) but was a genius when it came to understanding and dissecting Jujutsu and could apply it to anything and everything and Kenjaku’s narcissistic ass took that as a (one-sided) slight and challenge.

- Fumiko calls Sukuna, ‘Ryō’ and only calls him ‘Ryōmen’ when he’s either treading on thin ice or pissed her off.

- The women’s yukata that Sukuna is sometimes seen in is one of Fumiko’s.

- Fumiko is a sadist of the psychological and mental variety. She enjoys giving her enemies hope only to viscously snatch it away and see the light leave their eyes.

- In the Heian era, there was a courting process in which the suitor would have a secret sleepover with the person that they were interested in for three nights in a row before leaving at dawn and marriage would be arranged. This is what Sukuna and Fumiko did.

- Sukuna and Fumiko enjoyed taking the piss out of each other, one being amused at the expense (but not total displeasure) of the other like most married couples.

- Uraume is THE fly on the wall when it comes to these two, they have scolding hot tea for days.

- They did have a child, a daughter. In a sort of trade of roles, Sukuna taught their daughter calligraphy and poetry and Fumiko taught her the fundamentals of Jujustu and strategies.

- Regarding their child, don’t piss off her daddy, but definitely don’t mess with her mommy, as the two are brutal and merciless when it comes to any sort of antagonism towards their child.

I love certain elements of this like imagining Uraume having ao much gossip and so little people to share it with is so funny 😭 And Sukuna and her switching roles when it comes to children, love that. Totally one of my hcs for dad Sukuna.

Me personally I'm not a big fan of adding my own ocs to the story, but this is so intricate! I can tell a lot of thought and love went into building this character 😌✨