#which is basically code for 'stay busy' and like

[hells-greatestdad]

// one of those days where all the sounds of the grocery store ambience be triggering a constant startle response and even people talking to me (such as a customer right in front of me) is kinda overwhelming

But how am I supposed to explain "I don't want to help you right now because I can hear absolutely everything and it's hard to be anything but distracted and irritable"

[rosesradio]

🧍

[prettiedup]

can u do more tojiii 🧁

young & beautiful ୨ৎ

your parents are on a business trip, which gives you more freedom than a sheltered 20 year old should have. they left the country thinking their daughter would continue to drive around your suburban neighborhood, continue going to both your ballet and pilate classes, go to your college classes and stay there retaining all of the information you possibly can. it’s the basic things they expected of you.

little did they know you were far far from home. your expensive shoes plopped against the cracked ed concrete. in the distance, you could hear the sound of multiple police sirens ringing throughout. they seemed to grow close before disappearing and the crying sirens becomes quieter and quieter. your eyes take in the environment in front of you, the buildings that you could tell were once vibrant now lost their color. cracks and chunks of the bricks used to build them up were missing and large colorful vandalism littered spots on the buildings. corner stores with peeling paint and flickering neon signs offer a glimpse of the local people here struggling to survive.

it feels like a gray filter is casted on this side of town. and with winter being seconds away from approaching, everything is colder and dull. the sky grumbles, threatening—no, warning people of what’s to come. a group of guys are standing at a trash littered corner as you and toji past by them. you curiously look at their faces, they’re all already looking at you with a gleam in their eyes. you gasp to yourself and clutch toji’s hand tighter in fear.

“got ya’ a young one!” one of the guys call out to toji, “bet that pussy’s nice ‘nd tight!”

toji walks faster, his grip tightening on your hand. you struggle to keep up with his fast steps. his walking is your fast walking, you’re almost on the borderline of jogging. the fall air sores through your chest as you continue looking around the neighborhood curiously.

the two of you walk until you get to a worn down building. it’s littered with moss, vines, and graffiti. toji lets go of your hand to pick out a single key in his pocket.

“go inside. i’ll be back.” he tells you. you can’t stop yourself from frowning.

“i-what? no!” you say with widened eyes. as interesting as it is to be in a part of town that your parents demanded you never came over, things are still dangerous. the thought of going into a building you’ve never been inside and just waiting for him has your heart thumping in fear. anything could happen while he’s gone.

“‘m not askin’.” he could see you trying to form up some rebuttal, some way to argue with him and he can’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. “i’ll only be gone for about ten minutes. you can be a good girl and wait for ten minutes, right?”

you’re stiffly nodding your head while looking up at him. you try to convince yourself that ten minutes is not that long of a wait.

“i’ll knock six times and then say gumi. if someone knocks but doesn’t say the code word don’t open the door, understand?” he speaks carefully while looking into your eyes. he’s hoping all of his words are actually sticking and not just going through one ear and flowing out the other.

“fine..” you’re sighing and pouting, hoping that that’ll make him for bad for leaving you alone so soon.

he examines your face for a few seconds. he doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, the two of you quietly look at each other into each other’s face until a dog barks and interrupts you both. toji steps back, giving you more personal space.

you don’t know if you’re supposed to give him a kiss or hug goodbye. your relationship with him is still new and timid at times. your feet are moving before you realize it and your arms have a mind of their own as they wrap around his figure. to your surprise, toji accepts your hug, though it is awkward. he pats your head like some dog.

after a few prolonged seconds, he’s pulling you away from him. “alright, kid. go inside.”

and you listen. with shaky hands, you bring the key to the knob. it takes only a second to unlock the door. to your dismay. the door creaks as it slowly opens. you look back at toji one more time, he’s still waiting for you to go completely inside before walking away.

you let out a breath before stepping into his house. you make sure to lock the door behind you.

the inside of the house is sparsely furnished with basic necessities—a worn-out couch, a small dining table with mismatched chairs. there are warm tones of the walls try to add a comforting touch to the otherwise bleak space, but they can't hide the signs of neglect. the floorboards creak with every step, and the curtains are thin, barely filtering out the dim light from the outside light. you’re used to big elegant houses so to see something so small and compact has your eyebrows rising. as you tour throughout the entire house, every room is just about the same. bare with just hints of being lived in. you curiously open the refrigerator, you’re met with nothing. just a bottle of half drunken hennessy, and a sandwich. you’re in disbelief that someone actually lives like this.

luckily, the electricity worked. you turned the heat up before trailing into his bedroom. the room is a master, it has a queen sized bed in the middle of the floor and a single dresser with a tv sitting on top of it. you strip out of your clothing besides your bra and panties. you rummage through his drawers until you find a solid black shirt. you put it on, it fits you like a dress. it stops right under your ass and the littlest movement would expose it off. you fold your discarded clothes, and place them on top of his dresser. you grab your phone and lay down on his bed.

his house is quiet. too quiet. there’s nothing to hear besides your thoughts. you can’t help but to wonder how he lives like this. so alone with nothing but his thoughts. you sigh out to yourself, it’s almost close to the ten minute mark.

you mindlessly scroll on your phone until you finally hear it. you rush out of his bed and make a straight line to the door.

knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

“gumi.”

you let out a breath and swing the door open. toji stands there with a. smug smirk on his face. as you look up at him, breathless, you notice a newfound small scar on his cheek.

“you don’t look happy t’see me, cutie.” toji practically pushes you to the side. you’re unsteady on your feet before catching your balance.

“no! i am! i’m very happy!” you exclaim. you watch as his fingers go to unzip his jacket, your eyes widen when you realize his knuckles are red and bruised.

his eyes follow what you’re looking at and when he realizes you’re reacting to his bruised knuckles he just chuckles. "i see you made yourself comfortable." he comments.

you bite down on your lip trying to hide your giddy smile. "it smells like you.”

toji only hums at your statement. he walks through his house and you follow behind him like a lost puppy. your uncertain steps travel closely behind his confident ones. he leads you to the bathroom, you don’t know if you should stop at the door or continue to waltz through.

“c’mon.” he ushers you.

he turns the shower on and lets it run for a little. he takes the time to take his clothes off, he smirks to himself when he sees your curious eyes linger on every inch of his body. once he’s bare, he walks over to you, pulling you closer to him. his hands wonder on your body before he’s tugging on your shirt, signaling that he wants it off. he helps you undress yourself, once you’re naked in front of him, he’s ogling at your body while letting out a pleased whistle.

“step in.” he tells you.

you follow his directions and step in the tub. now that you’re actually in it. the tub is quite condemned and with how big toji is you briefly wonder if the two of you are going to fit.

he hands you a white rag before stepping in behind you. you’re stiff, you’ve never showered with another person, ever. you’re used to showering in luxury bathrooms with the upmost space. you see that there’s only one bottle of body wash, which is also something you’re not used to. you use a plethora of skincare products that make you feel nice and clean, not some off-brand from the convenience store.

“since it seems like you don’t know how to wash yourself.” toji tuts before taking the rag out of your hands. he pours a nice amount of gel on the fabric before wetting it.

the feeling of his hands cascading around your body is .. weird. his movements are extremely gentle, he touches you like you’re some sort or sensitive rare artifact. you find yourself relaxing against his body as he cleans you. he starts from the neck and works his way down, even going so far as to clean the outside of your intimate areas with just water. you return the favor to him, also. he washes himself but he does let you wash his back. once the two of you are cleaned, you stay under the slowly turning cold water until it’s fully freezing.

there’s only one towel out when you two step out. you look up at toji cautiously.

“forgot to grab the other.” he shrugs. he wraps the towel around your body and then opens the bathroom door.

you two make your way to his bedroom. you could hear the sound of rain pattering against the roof and occasional thunder blooming throughout the air. toji turns on a single lamp as a source of light.

the two of you dry off in your own towels. once you’re dry, you’re looking up at toji. the very few times you’ve been around him it feels like your brain stops working and you have to look at from guidance. you can’t tell if he gets annoyed by it or not, if he does he doesn’t say anything.

toji guides you to sit on the edge of the bed. before you could ask why, his lips are on yours. he kisses you greedily, he sucks up both your tongue and air. with you being not so experienced, you struggle to keep up with his experienced mechanisms. you can’t stop yourself as you’re leaning back, and toji follows you. he makes sure not to drop his entire weight so that he wouldn’t crush you.

the two of you continue to sloppily make out for a while, the kiss morphing from just lips to tongue and spit swapping. you let out a soft moan as toji begins grinding his growing hard on against your clit.

he slowly pulls his lips away from your lips and moves his lipa down to your jaw and neck. he kisses you and occasionally licks spots here and there, he makes sure not to leave any spots on your neck. he’s grown now, if he was still in his early 20’s he would’ve left marks to let people know there’s already a claim on you. but he’s past that childish point in his life.

“y’wanna get fucked, baby? hm? ‘s that why you came alway over here?” he taunts you. his hips are moving faster and one incorrect slip up would have his cock slipping right inside your wet cunt.

“y-yes. please.” breathy gasps are escaping past your lips. the friction he’s creating is so delicious and addictive.

“g’na give it to you, baby. g’na fuck this pussy. g’na mold it to fit only my cock.” he’s letting out a drawn out groan as he slides his cock into you. you’re both moaning out to each other. the second all of his cock is fit into you, he’s immediately pulling his cock out only to slam it back inside of you.

he straightens his back, putting some distance between the two of you. he grabs your legs and places them on his shoulder. he watches as your boobs bounce with every thrust and you’re clutching the bedsheets while still looking angelic.

“fuck.” you whimper out. his cock is so thick and it fills you up so well. “feel’s s-so good, tojiii.” you moan.

“mhmm. g’na let me fill this pussy up, ‘mma put a baby in you.” his breathing becoming heavier and you can’t help but gush out some more wetness at his claims of breeding.

“fuck a baby ‘nto me, toii, pleaseee.” you moan out.

toji grins at your words. if a baby is what you want, that’s what he’ll give to you.

[merbear25]

For Kinktober, can I please request Sensual Massage with Sanji?

Hey! Hope you've been well. I think I got a bit carried away with this 🤭 Hope you like it 💜🧡

You’d been working yourself to the bone for what felt like forever. It’d been a while since you did anything for yourself. Among some of your female coworkers, there was word buzzing of a spa that could offer more than just the typical services.

CW: NSFW, MDNI, fem!reader, some fluff, vaginal fingering, sex work

Tender hands (Sanji)

Rubbing your neck, you lingered over by the water cooler ideally. With your boss piling heaps of assignments on you, the stress of responsibility was affecting you physically.

“Feeling alright?” Your coworker chirped.

You glanced over at her and gave her a reassuring smile. “Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed if I’m being honest.”

The older woman nodded. She showed some hesitation to continue, deciding to take a quick look around to avoid any of your nosey colleagues.

“Between you and me,” she leaned in. “I was feeling the same as you not too long ago. But then, I discovered this spa and let me tell you, those masseuses certainly have magic fingers.”

The implications had you nervously fidgeting. “Oh, yeah?” You smiled politely.

She reached into her purse and pulled out a card. “Here, darling,” she soothed your nerves. “You go here and tell them you want this special. They’ll take good care of you.” She grinned at you before shuffling away to her cubicle.

Glancing at the card, you saw that the phrase ‘Sundae’ was scribbled on the back. You promptly shoved it into your pocket before continuing the workday—the business card seemingly burning for you to give into your curiosity.

Staying behind the others to finish the last bit of paperwork you’d been given. The heavy footsteps of your boss was the most dreaded sound imaginable.

“Just got these in. I’ll need these by the end of next week.” The way he smiled came off as if he thought he was doing you a favor by extending the due date. He patted the stack before excusing himself for the evening. He called back a ‘see you tomorrow’ with his back turned to you, waving lazily.

Rubbing your eyes from exhaustion, you could hear the strange offer from earlier calling out to you. As you stared at the card, you felt yourself being pulled more and more into temptation. It was such a bizarre recommendation, one which your curiosity couldn’t resist seeing through.

Upon arriving at the location, the dim lights made you second guess the hours. No, it should still be open. The door wasn’t locked but the lights were kept suspiciously low.

You tapped on the service bell and anxiously waited for someone. No more than a few moments must have passed before your nerves started getting the best of you. Wondering what on earth you were doing there, you slowly turned towards the door.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!” You heard a friendly voice call out.

“Oh! No, it’s fine… I-I don’t really know if I’ve got the right place actually.”

“What is it that you’re looking for?” The blonde man’s face made him appear kind and his voice was rather comforting.

You peeked down at the card and said in an almost mousey tone, “A sundae?” What a ridiculous code name… you thought to yourself.

His eyes lit up. “Ohh, okay,” he let out a good-natured chuckle. “First time?” The rhetorical question made you stumble over your words.

“Don’t worry. There’s no judgment here and everything will be kept confidential.” 

As he talked you through the basics, wanting to be sure this was something you were fully aware of and consented to, you were so flustered that you nodded and agreed to nearly everything he said.

“You can say ‘no’ if this isn’t for you, you know.” It came from a place of concern due to your unnatural eagerness.

“N-no! I…I want to do this. I’ve just never done anything like it before,” you admitted.

“In that case, I can assure you that you won’t regret it.”

He led you towards one of the massage rooms in the back. He informed you that he needed to prepare some of the oils and that you should go ahead and undress and lay down on the table. Giving you a warm smile, he left you momentarily.

Looking around the room, the candles gently placed throughout were not yet lit and the colors were an earthy tone, which did well to set a calming atmosphere.

Laying down on the table, you buried your face into the headrest in an attempt to hide your shame. As you were lost in your thoughts, the door clicking pulled you out of your fog.

As he apologized for the delay, he kept the conversation friendly and open in an attempt to ease those nerves of yours. He lit the candles and pressed play on the playlist, which was set to peaceful sounds of nature.

The squirts of warm massage oil coaxed a slight shiver from you.

“Is it too cold?”

“No, just wasn’t expecting it.”

His laugh was soft, endearing even. When his hands found their way to your back, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. As his touch kneaded over your sore spots, your murmurs signaled for him to be gentle. When he came across tight knots, his skillful fingers worked them out—your soft moans being the encouragement he needed.

He focused on your lower back, and then eventually your glutes and thighs. You clung to the table in anticipation, only to be hushed by Sanji, “Just relax.”

He watched your movements closely, trying to gauge how you were feeling. Your legs parting gave him his answer. Massaging your inner thighs, his thumbs pressed small circles into your fatty flesh. The oil was warming your skin, making his fingers the welders of your pleasure.

Working his way closer to your pussy lips, your arousal was obvious—the wetness glistening slightly even in the dimly lit room. His thumbs tenderly massaged around your labias, which made the slick between them seep out a little. His other fingers kneaded your ass, causing you to involuntarily arch your back. The sweet moans coming out of you filled the room. As one was placed on your hip, rubbing it gently, the other traced over your folds.

Your body quaked and your breath hitched in your throat. The warmth from the oils was fanning the flames within you. His fingers glided over your clit, prompting your hips to shake and a whimper to pass over your soft lips.

His thumb circled over your sensitive bundle. Each gasp and tremble only made him work you harder to squeeze each euphoric laced cry out of you. As you groaned from your orgasm, his hands returned to your back—his hands firmer in order to work out the lingering bit of ecstasy.

He moved to your shoulders, letting you enjoy the stress of the day being released. Your huffs and soft pants were subsiding, which meant you were perfect for the next round.

Your hips were the center of attention again. The masseuse’s hands roamed over them, being sure to give an ample amount of affection to your lower back and sides, as well. You whimpered while his fingers teased your entrance. Instinctively, you bucked your hips slightly into his touch, yearning to be completely and utterly satisfied.

Though you couldn’t see his face, it held a look of relief. Seeing his clients go from a nervous and stressed wreck to ones so willing to put their trust in him never ceased to leave him in awe of their courage, their beauty.

He plunged one finger in to start. As your body adjusted to it, he could feel your walls spasming already. The feeling of a gorgeous woman coming undone from his touch was like no other. He couldn’t help but give in.

“That’s it, my sweet thing,” he cooed at you. “Just let go.”

He put another finger in you, followed by another shortly after. Your cries of ecstasy were making his head spin. Watching you grip at the table, the way you convulsed on his fingers, and the faint slapping of his hand against your slit: you were a depiction of pure angelic imagery.

Your groans and pants were evident that you were close to that long sought after edge. Leaning in slightly, he whispered for you to cum for him. Burying your face into the softened table, you could feel yourself slipping. 

Filling you completely with his experienced fingers, your body couldn’t hold on any longer. Your cries of reaching the peak of euphoria sounded throughout the room. As he guided you through your orgasm, a faint smile found its way to your spent complexion. Your body, now totally relaxed, went limp on the table.

“Thank you,” you murmured, your voice still raspy from your high.

Your politeness was much too sweet. He rubbed your hips again, beaming down at you. “That wasn’t so bad then, was it? You did great.”

He gave you some time to get dressed as he rang you up. Exchanging pleasant chit-chat, his inviting demeanor might be the most intoxicating thing about him.

When he handed you your receipt, his fingers ran lightly along yours. With a friendly grin, he added, “Hope to see you again.”

Your heart was pounding so hard against your chest, it was as if it was about to leap out of you. Once in your car, your eyes caught sight of a small note he left on the paper.

“Come by anytime during the evening on weekdays. I’ll be here to help you relax. Xoxo.”

Fawning over the note, you made sure to drop by every once in a while. Who knew? Maybe there was something other than business to explore.

[leighsartworks216]

In Your Silence (I Hear You)

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Requested by @ghulehh666:

"Just had this idea for so long in my head, basically astarion x tav(gn). Tav is really antisocial, never visits tavern or such, and prefers to stay somewhere quiet and alone or with Astarion. When they have to talk, their ability to speak sometimes randomly locks out and doesn’t know what to say."

I know you said antisocial but I kinda went further and made it more social anxiety or autism-coded

Also I still have not played the game or seen much gameplay so some things may be inaccurate and stuff

Warnings: going through a busy crowd, brief mention of nails digging into skin, some sensory issues (touch, sound)

Word Count: 1,287

Masterlist

AO3

You were holding on for dear life. Your arms curled tightly around Astarion’s, eyes scanning every which-a-way. Unfortunately, this was a rather common occurrence.

Before all this, you kept to yourself. Perhaps to an extreme. You avoided going outside, you didn’t speak to anyone for as long as you could help it, and you were quite happy like this. Dealing with other people was always a headache, and never near worth it, but staying alone? The only person you could be irritated with was yourself.

And then you got kidnapped. And somehow, somehow everyone chose you as the one to save the world. You couldn’t stay alone anymore. Too much was at stake. But sometimes it was all too much. Too loud, too demanding, too… everything.

Astarion didn’t know what to make of you upon first meeting. He’d assumed you were working with the damn Illithid, but when he insisted you just kept shaking your head. Truly, he’d have thought you were mute, if he’d not seen you talking with the damned creatures. Now that it’s been weeks, he knew you better than the rest. After all, it was his tent you ran to when you needed quiet, and, even more than that, it was him you trusted to find your voice when you couldn’t.

That’s how you ended up in this bustling market street, clinging to him as he smoothly guided you through swaths of people. He was used to navigating crowds. His eyes sought out slightly-more-open gaps and he’d be able to slip through with no issues. Alone, that is. With you, the strategy was a little different. Not only did he have to get himself through, but you as well. He could only imagine what the weaving pattern he took to find even-more-open gaps in the sea of people looked like from above.

The street never seemed to end. More and more people entered from either end. Stall owners barked out calls to potential customers. Everyone was shoving to get where they needed to go. Astarion was tired of it. The only reason you’d turned down here was to find one specific stall for some spices Gale wanted. He’d stopped looking for the stall long ago, leaving that task to you.

Toward the end of the street, though still quite far from any freedom, you squeezed his arm and planted your feet. He stopped immediately. Your eyes were set on one of the stalls - a table filled with handfuls of herbs, small bundles of them tied together with string. He sighed through his nose. Gale better damn well be happy for all the trouble this is.

Astarion placed a hand over yours on his arm, searching for any opening in the river of people going around you both. He could feel the anxiety radiating from you the longer it took. As soon as there was even a hint of a gap, he pulled you through.

Trying to walk through the hoard rather than with it was a nightmare. You were jostled and bumped into by everyone. Astarion wanted to switch you to his other side to act as a human shield, but doing so risked losing you to the flood. And when you finally got through, finally standing in front of the one stall you came here for, you felt it. Like a switch, your throat felt leaden. Your vocal chords were heavy. It seems preserving your voice for this moment did not help at all.

“Hi! Welcome, welcome! What can I get for you today?” the stall-keeper beckoned. Astarion had to fight to keep his eyes from rolling. All traders were always too cheery, overacting as they tried to play nice to convince you to buy more.

The vampire turned his focus to you. You still held onto his arm, but it was a little more relaxed. Your nails weren’t digging into his arm, at least. (You always apologized profusely when your voice came back, even when he brushed off your concerns of hurting him or, worse, being a nuisance.) You searched the table, eyes roaming stacks of small spices and bundles of large herbs. Astarion had no idea exactly what Gale’d asked for. He trusted you remembered.

A moment passed, and then you were pointing at a small cloth bag, round and full. The attendant lit up. “That’s our special blend! It contains all you need for any meal! Just one pinch and your mouth will thank you for it!” When they said the price, Astarion saw you retreating in on yourself. It was a lot to ask for one small sachet, though it looked like it would last several weeks if conserved properly.

Before you could even formulate an apology to Gale for his damn herbs and spices being too gods damned expensive, Astarion was pulling out his coin purse and counting out the gold. “We’ll take one.”

The attendant picked up the sachet by its drawstrings and plopped it into your hesitant hand. You squeezed his arm - you didn’t like that he was paying for it. He handed over the money, and pulled you back into the throng of people.

It wasn’t long before you were at the end of the street and being tugged along to a quiet side-road as there was no longer a need to slow down to glance at each stall. As soon as the people thinned out to a manageable level, you let go of his arm and reached for your own coin purse.

“Please, love, you don’t need to pay me back.” He covered your hand holding the purse, preventing you from opening it. “Besides, I will be more than happy to discuss repayment with the Wizard.”

You gave him a disapproving look. He just rolled his eyes.

“Was acting quickly to get you out of that mess as soon as possible not what you wanted?”

You glared harder. “Don’t twist it,” you muttered. The weight was still there, but being out of the crowd had helped enough. Though, it seemed heavier now that you have spoken… Damn.

He chuckled airily. “Hate to admit I was working outside of my own self-interests for once?” You raised a brow at him. “Well, aside from having Gale in my pocket, until he compensates me for the loss.”

You huffed and put your coin purse away, tucking the sachet away in the process. Your hand found his arm immediately after. He didn’t even react as you gripped onto the fabric of his sleeve. At first, he’d been a bit scandalized, complaining that you’d wrinkle it or pull at the embroidery. He almost… enjoyed it. The simple act of keeping each other close, relying on him to act as an anchor. It felt nice to be needed.

He noticed before you that your feet were beginning to drag. The sole of your boots scraped on the street every couple steps, not to mention how you slowed down ever so slightly. He smiled knowingly, resting his hand over yours on his arm once more. It was reminiscent of nobles strolling along, prim and proper.

“Come on, dear,” he encouraged smoothly. “Once we return I can read that mystery novel to you.”

You grabbed onto his arm with your other hand, pulling yourself closer to rest your head against him. You had a tired little smile on your face. How unfortunate such outings were so much on their leader. He’d probably get two lines in before you passed out in his mess of pillows.

“Though, it is rather obvious who the culprit is.”

You pinched his arm.

“No, my being a magistrate has nothing to do with it,” he chastised. “It’s hardly my fault I’m more observant than you, dear.”

[toskarin]

hey rin, a friend of mine enjoys composing music digitally and has a lot of respect for you as someone with more experience with that sort of thing. he has a hard time convincing the people around him to listen to the things he makes, in both the "finding an audience" way and "getting the people around him to give him their opinion on something he's working on way," and he wanted me to ask you if you could speak on your own experiences with those problems and how you've dealt with them. less related, he was also curious about your inspirations for the music that you make. i know this is a lot to cover, so if it would be easier for you to speak with him directly then please let me know

so I'll open by saying that, as far as people who can give good advice on this go, I'm probably not one of those. a lot of what I do only works because of some specific problems with my brain that are oddly adaptive to this sort of thing

that being said, this is a bit of the "tough love" kind of advice for surviving as an artist, so I'll make a second reblog for the second half of the question

this is either advice that will work or a ramble that will lead your friend to making his life unbearable, so look before you leap

-

The Easy Section, or "You've Gotta Be a Bit of a Tradie"

let's go over the business stuff quickly before I start rambling at length about the boring stuff

learn to love the work itself. "find a job you enjoy and you'll never work a day in your life" is garbage, but creative work really is the one area where you should double down on this. kick back and bump your own album on release day, thinking about how every second of it is something that didn't exist before you put it together. this is what's gonna keep you above water when the wind is dead

get on bandcamp. there is nowhere better for small musicians right now. bandcamp is basically the last remaining website with an effective suggestion algorithm that caters to people who want to actively engage with music and buy it

consider getting on instagram. in the majority of places you're likely to live if you're reading this, the local music scene is on instagram. probably don't use your personal instagram for this

consider getting on soundcloud. you won't make sales through soundcloud, because it's a streaming-focused site (more on that in a moment) with a focus on passive listening, but it's pretty decent for networking, especially with digital music production. soundcloud is linkedin for deadbeats

stay off spotify. streaming generally isn't worth the trouble these days unless you're playing concerts or are otherwise already established. if you aren't uttering the words "you can find me on..." more than once a month, it's probably not worth pursuing a spotify presence to end that sentence with

self-promote. if you have platforms, use them. find the subreddit for your genre and post yourself on the self-promo day. consider posting some bandcamp album codes when you do this, not just so you can get word of mouth, but because someone having an album in their collection means you effectively have a permanent zero-cost advertisement for your music which will only show itself to people who are verifiably looking at something similar. companies pay dizzying sums for ads that couldn't dream of being this targetted. this is a big reason why bandcamp is THE place to be for small musicians

cross-promote and collab. work with your friends. if you don't have musician friends, go make some and then help each other out. "independent" music is a misnomer

blind yourself to the metrics. do not look at engagement metrics. pay them no mind at all. don't look at them unless you're trying to see how effective a specific, deliberate course of action was and already know what you want to find

remember that strangers are unknowable. people do things for arbitrary reasons. if you don't have someone giving you written feedback, don't make any assumptions at all about why they did something. skipped tracks and minimum-price pwyws mean nothing at all

present your stuff in a way that gives it context. why should someone care about your stuff? give them a reason. carve out an hour to really work on a nice album cover, go the extra mile and include track-by-track narrative with your dungeon synth album, or just describe what you're expecting people to buy. I firmly believe that NOMAD/VIRTUE was successful in large part because of its presentation

gimmick. gimmick gimmick gimmick. discount codes are more fun than automatic discounts, free album codes are more fun than free albums, contests are more fun than giveaways, so on so forth. lacking any physical goodies to bundle in, you should still endeavour to give people Something To Do that makes them feel like they're really engaging with your music

zero expectations, zero overhead. do not rely on the whims of complete strangers to justify whether or not you end up in the red. if you ever find yourself saying something like "I can afford to pay for a session musician because I'll just make it back" you can't afford to pay for a session musician. you're probably never getting bailed out if you eat a loss, so try not to put yourself in a situation where you can eat a loss to begin with

someone else's expectations, someone else's overhead. if someone else is paying you to make this music for a soundtrack or something, if (and ONLY if) you have the money in your hand and know you have it, you're no longer gambling. at this point, you can start to look at expenses as investment

now onto the less fun stuff. here's where I ramble for like an hour at you.

-

if there's one thing I've really had hammered in over my decade-odd as a somewhat commercial artist (in all the disciplines I've worked with, which is most of them), it's that you have to be a bit of a bitch about it sometimes

that nagging fear in the back of your head that you're annoying? it's stopping you from doing what you need to do: annoy people

with that being said, this next section is kind of...

The Rough Section, or "You've Gotta Be a Little Hard-headed"

at the end of the day, you'll often find that you are your only advocate, and that means you kinda have to get your foot slammed in a few doors if that means holding them open. this also unfortunately means that you've gotta convince yourself you're pretty good. you don't have to think you're great, but confidence is a trade skill

the last opinion people see before the first time consciously engaging with your work (which here means "the thing that primes them for how they feel about it") is yours

which brings us to the first uncomfy rule

absolutely no cutting yourself down before anyone else even gets a swing

you can be modest if you want (you don't have to), but you absolutely cannot prime people to see the flaws in your work. if 50% of people are discerning enough to notice a flaw, why make that number 100%? what do you gain from that?

if something isn't as finished as you'd have liked it to be, but you've pushed it out the door anyway (which you will sometimes have to do), you absolutely cannot prime people to consider it unfinished

if the thing is still being worked on, there's nothing wrong with being forthcoming about that, but the fastest way to make someone think of something as "inferior product" when they otherwise would never have reached that conclusion is by telling them it is

and that, of course, leads us into a bit of an inversion of the previous rule

absolutely do not take the majority of your validation from strangers

doing this is bad for a million reasons, but I see the worst of this in visual arts, where artists double down on what gets them the most engagements and lay themselves at the mercy of complete strangers who have no actual investment in them

of course, it's normal to desire validation and approval from people you respect, but if you put yourself in a position where it's possible to enter a negative feedback loop that crystallises into you no longer making art from the default response of neutral apathy from strangers, it's not a matter of when: it's going to happen to you one day

so what's the move here? spend 8 years making music you don't release like you're in a compressed time chamber? probably not. I did it that way, but I didn't get much out of it, so you probably won't either

the actual answer is that you've gotta network. you need an inner circle. you need people with shared interests so that you can gas each other's stuff up

just like everyone else, you need your friends

you need to have friends who care about you, about what you're doing, and you need to care about them and what they're doing

this is because, while self-confidence is important...

the majority of your external validation as an artist should come from your friends and peers, not strangers

it's important to have artist friends, because then you can encourage each other in ways that are personally meaningful, but having your friends behind you, whether or not they're musicians, is so incredibly important

if you're motivated exclusively by success, however you're choosing to measure that, what you're actually doing is forming a nightmarish parasocial relationship with the concept of a crowd. not even a real crowd! a fictional group that materialises when you've created "the conditions for success"

there is no such thing as a truly independent artist. if your understanding of artistic success requires competition against others, you're going to lose that competition and then explode (unfortunately common)

finding your audience as an artist (and mind you, art is a social field) is very much a process of networking, but it feels gross to say it that way, so I'll just leave that at "if you want to be known by others, you need to be willing to know others"

anyway, this doesn't really terminate in a complete sentiment. I was just transcribing a train of though

if I were to boil this down to a shorter, snappier answer that I could read comfortably read out, it'd be...

TL;DR

the process of finding an audience is so much less about actually finding one than it is about learning to create happily whether or not you have an audience. developing an audience is the largely incidental byproduct of long-term creative efforts coupled with self-advocacy and interpersonal networking

if you want to be found by a scene, you have to participate in a scene, and if you want to participate in a scene, you need to be in the scene. so on so forth

as stupid as it might sound when I put it into words, the truth is that you can't build any kind of audience in isolation. someone has to find you somehow, and it's a lot easier to be found if you're actually somewhere that people might look

[anonymous-dentist]

Or: the childhood friends au:

-

Roier doesn’t remember a lot of his childhood, but he remembers enough to know that he was a bit of a little shit. He was a problem child. He probably has the outline of a shoe tattooed onto his back after all the shit he got up to as a kid.

(R-01 gets one hour of supervised outdoor time every day to keep him from getting sick. He sits beneath the big oak tree in the facility’s enclosed garden, and he lets his fingers twist in the grass beneath him.

[The grass isn’t real, but he doesn’t know this yet.]

He sticks his tongue out to catch the sunlight, all of seven years old and unsure as to what sunlight tastes like.

Abuelo stands by him complaining, but all R-01 hears is static.

And then there’s a rough hand yanking him to his feet and dragging him back into the facility. Apparently, according to Abuelo, someone has managed to sneak into the facility.)

But it’s fine, really. Roier doesn’t need to remember his past to know who he is, and he knows who he is. He’s Roier! He likes tacos and kissing men.

In his sleep, Cellbit rolls onto his side and latches a clingy arm over Roier’s waist. He snuggles close, face burying itself in Roier’s shoulder with a pleased little ‘Mrrp!’ noise. His tail brushes against Roier’s thigh just once before settling down.

Roier smiles into the night. There are dark circles under his eyes and a sick feeling in his stomach and a gnawing something in the back of his mind.

He can’t sleep. Which is kinda funny, really, considering he’s usually the one asleep clinging to his overworking husband.

(R-01 stays in his cell for days listening for the jingle of Abuelo’s keys, but all he hears is the familiar screaming of the duck in the room next door. Must be her feathers again.

With a sigh, R-01 paces to the other side of his cell. She’s loud!

That’s when he hears it: a soft sobbing from the cell next to Roier’s. Not the duck, she’s loud. This is quiet, and there isn’t any quacking.

R-01 gasps. Someone new!

“Hola?” he dares whisper, not too loud ‘cause he doesn’t want to get in trouble, but he doesn’t like crying. It’s illegal. Abuelo doesn’t like it.

The crying stops. Then something taps at the wall right next to Roier’s ear. Another tap, and another, and it’s code, right? It has to be!

R-01 isn’t very smart, Abuelo tells him this every time they do their lessons, but he’s got this! If it’ll keep his new neighbor from crying and getting in trouble, he’ll solve this… this enigma!)

Richarlyson is with Bad again, and Pepito is staying with Quackity again, and Cellbit is asleep. So it’s just Roier and his thoughts and the distinct lack thereof that he’s trying to find somewhere in the mess that is his silly goofy little brain.

“You’re thinking,” Cellbit suddenly grumbles, jolting Roier from his thoughts (and the distinct lack thereof.) His voice is thick with sleep. Adorable. “Stop thinking. That’s my job.”

“What? You? Thinking? No way.”

Roier shifts in bed until he’s on his side facing Cellbit. Cellbit moves with him, pulling him fully into his arms and melting as Roier’s fingers find their ways to the hair at the base of his ears.

“Go back to sleep, gatinho,” Roier says.

Cellbit purrs at him in mild disagreement.

“What’s wrong?” Cellbit asks. He’s only halfway awake, but at least he cares.

(R-01 slowly manages to figure it out. He uses his mandatory arts and crafts time with Abuelo practicing his alphabet with colorful finger paints that make Abuelo sneer in disgust every time R-01 uses them on his own face.

His neighbor is talking to him, and it’s a secret. R-01 is basically a spy!

Every tap is a letter, he thinks. So two taps means “B”! Easy.

So, while Abuelo is busy with the duck, R-01 sneaks to the other wall and taps out a “Hola!”

The response is immediate and a bit too fast for him to be able to get, but he hears seven taps and then one tap and that’s “G” and “A” and there’s gotta be more, right? What words start with that?

Hesitantly, R-01 taps out: “MEOW”.

The duck screams. The neighbor laughs. The guards outside start shouting and banging and shooting. Footsteps come down the hallway, and then they say, “No.”

And then it’s quiet.)

“Nothing,” Roier lies. But, well, it’s only sorta a lie, right? Nothing illegal. Marriage-illegal.

“Okay,” Cellbit simply says, and then it’s quiet.

He purrs, rusty from exhaustion.

Roier pets him idly, eyes shut tight.

“It’s just…” he slowly says, “Bagi isn’t a cat hybrid, is she?”

Cellbit’s purring stops.

(R-01 wakes up on the table this time. He screams as the bear’s scalpel cuts into the skin beneath his eye, squirming in his restraints.

“No,” the bear simply says.

It’s the mean one, the one with the knife. R-01 doesn’t like this one; it’s the one he heard outside of the cat’s room. And he hasn’t heard from the cat since.)

Roier doesn’t remember much of his childhood, but at least he remembers having a childhood. Cellbit doesn’t have that luxury. It’s kind of his whole thing at the moment, working through his assloads of trauma one tiny little baby step at a time.

All Roier knows, and all that Cellbit knows, is that Cellbit crashed onto the island with cat ears and a tail, and that Bagi is totally and entirely human.

“But maybe you just got the furry genes,” Roier suggests.

He feigns a yawn and scratches the spot between Cellbit’s ears he knows makes Cellbit turn to goo, and goo does Cellbit become.

“Guapito…” Cellbit sighs.

Roier cuts him off with a ‘Shhh.’

“In the morning,” he promises. “I promise.”

“Mmmm,” Cellbit agrees, as smart and as well-spoken as ever. “‘Kay.”

Roier smiles, more genuine, and he kisses Cellbit once before at least trying to relax. It’s fine, right?

(R-01 gets one hour of supervised outdoor time every day to keep him from getting sick.

He waits until Abuelo isn’t paying attention to stretch his hand up towards the sun.

The duck is gone. They’re still looking for her. And R-01 is still looking for the cat.

The garden is surrounded by four walls, but there’s no ceiling. Just the open air, because ducks can’t fly. No risk of escape.

But spiders can climb.

Squeezing one eye shut and sticking his tongue out in concentration, R-01 points his fingers at the top of the nearest wall like how he thinks a superhero would. Because he is a superhero now!

The web comes out as painfully as ever, but all R-01 cares about is the wind against his skin as he’s pulled out of the garden and to freedom.

Abuelo is angry and shouting down below, but who cares? R-01 is a superhero now! They made him one, and he’s got a kitty to save somewhere!)

[Cellbit’s parents used to chastise him and his sister, telling him, “Curiosity killed the cat!” But Bagi had always argued that, well, so what? They aren’t cats! They’re people!

But then the bear said the same thing as it stuck the IV in Cellbit’s arm. And Cellbit thought of the dead little girl with rabbit ears he found in the woods, and the dead little boy with the bird wings, and, at the ripe old age of eleven years old, he cried as he realized how big of a mistake he had made.]

[sinon36]

Ghost x undercover!reader (HC) Part I

Warnings: torture, blood, pain, unconscious Ghost and basically kinda useless, really capable YOU persona ;), rushed writing, possible mistakes, reader is pretty neutral so far

P.S. Don’t judge the unexplained inconsistency of how a guy like Ghost gets captured, but spy you get to waltz around unbothered, yeah, you’re that good, so good you got plot armour. Besos!   

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI

- the first time you meet it's messy. He's supposed to extract an agent from behind enemy lines but instead he gets captured

-  you pose as a computer science PhD who is in charge of the enemy base cyber security, when in reality you're there to install a backdoor with remote access.

- you know someone should come to help make your exit, but when no infiltration is reported panic starts to rise in your chest

- you start investigating, searching through the facility trying to find out if something happened.

- you gain access to a part of the facility you don't have clearance for.

- you stumble upon a gruesome scene in one of the holding cell in the underground levels

- you find a man tied to the ceiling, bare feet barely touching the floor, muscles stretching under the tension ready to snap

- a black hood is thrown over his head and he's shirtless, remnants of once black cargo pants hang on his hips.

- he was tortured, for days by looks of it

- you know enough about that to know that he hasn't cracked yet, otherwise he'd be dead not hanging there in the damp cold cell.

- you take your chances and take the hood off

- he groggily turns his head to look down at you, he’s a big that much you can say

- blonde whisps of hair matted to his scalp stained a dark red, pale skin the same blood oozing from small cuts on his cheeks dripping down on his pectorals. From behind black and blue and inflammation two brown eyes scan your face

- 'the wolf walks alone' you quietly utter the code phrase for identity verification

- he watches you like an owl watches a mouse with cautious patience but he gives no indication that he'll answer

- you can't stay there too long; someone might catch you here or someone could report that you never came back from the bathroom break

- you reach for the hood to place it back on the prisoner’s head, knowing that you can't do anything for him and in this state he can't even provide a distraction for you to slip out unnoticed

-as you get closer tiptoeing to reach above his head he grunts, you stop in your tracks making eye contact

- his dried and busted lips start to quiver you wait for a moment giving him a chance to prove you wrong

- 'But the pack's got its back...' he draws out in a deep guttural voice laced with a thick Manchester accent

- phrase matching your own, you get to work hastily finding a way to get him down

- as you unlock the chains wounded around his wrists you try to support his weight which proves impossible

- you barely manage to break his fall turning yourself in a cushion under his massive form

- you huff and try to pull him up ' I can't carry you' you mutter to him. 'You gotta get up, soldier' you try and nudge him, you slip and talk in the familiar British accent

- he stalls, taking in deep breaths trying to surpass the pain and ache, multiple bones broken, muscles tumefied, and skin bearing to many cuts and bruises. Blood covers him like a deathly veil

- he tries and with your help he manages to stand but he can barely walk on his own, he can barely see, he can barely think, having sustained multiple concussions

- with great difficulty you get moving, praying to yourself that the guard might be gone, taking a piss or having a smoke

- your prayers are answered, no one is on the otherwise busy hallways this late at night, many having called it a night going back to their rooms

- as you pass the med bay your quick thinking finds a credible disguise: you steal a lab coat and a doctor's key card, some glasses that make your vision blurry once you put them on, and get the wounded soldier in a wheel chair

-he huffs but you can clearly see the relief overtaking him as he no longer has to stand

-you throw a medical gown over him concealing the dried blood on his bare torso

-once you clean his face a little and bandage his whole head to cover his identity, you grab a few bottles of morphine and a med kit for later and push the wheelchair out the door

- you aim for the underground parking lot, where civilians’ workers such as your cover, keep their personal cars

-you hope that the sentinels stationed at the gates won't look too closely at your backseat as you carefully push the wounded man in the car

- everything goes smooth from there, the guards wishing you a good night, no questions ask as to your departure from the base

- once you get farther away you start speeding eyeing for any police cars that might stop you or any military vehicle that might chase you

- to your dumb surprise no one follows you the mountain road dark and deserted

- you head to your safehouse where you have stashed money, fake id's, a new disguise and another car.

- once you change everything and make sure that the soldier still breathes in the back of the SUV, after you've administered some first help giving him the relief of morphine, you burn everything down

- the wooden house the other car, everything, nothing can be left behind to be tracked to you or to the MI6, you have taken precautions that borderline OCD, but you know that you have to be through, no detail to small

- once you're back on the road you contact your handler, a tired voice but you can hear the sound of relief as he hears your voice

- he's pleased that everything went smooth, no alarm was triggered, no shot was fired, no chase happened and you even managed to save your would-be saviour, sent specifically to get you out of that den of wolves

- you announce your E.T.A. to the agreed pickup location and you are annoyed to hear you'll have to wait a bit, your nerves are starting to fray, and body to tire

- you don't have the manpower nor the firepower to make a stand in the woods until the heli gets there

-but you do as you're told, as always

- you grab the pistol you keep under the passenger seat and place it in your lap; the heaviness in your lap gives very little reassurance

- but not long passes and you can hear the lovely sound of an Apache helicopter

- in a whirlwind of dust and voices shouting out instructions both you and the soldier are placed in the metal beast's bowls

-you inform the medics of the dosage of morphine you gave to the soldier as they start hooking him to machines that monitor his vital signs

-you don't even know his name and he definitely doesn't know yours as per protocol, and you doubt you'll ever see him again

-you won't even be there when he'll wake up, he'll probably never know of your act of kindness; you could have left him behind but instead you risked your safety for his

- any other agent would've done it, but not you, you couldn't leave one of your own behind

- you still hold your breath, eager to cross the border and get back to HQ where meetings and debriefs will be held, and rapports will be written then redacted

-you expect the compliments at a job well done and the proud pats on the back from your superiors, even though for you that's just a show

- you know you will get a free month at best to recover and then you'll be shipped somewhere else to do it all over again

- it's a lonely life, and full of danger but it makes you sleep better at night knowing you helped soil some plans that could be used to hurt innocents

- once the pilot announces that you crossed the borders you slightly relax on the padded bench, closing your eyes in relief but not allowing yourself to fall asleep yet

- when you feel the heli dipping down towards the tarmac you open your eyes eager to get off the noisy thing and looking forward for some commodities you know wait ready inside the base

- you watch as the soldier gets rolled toward the med bay and you get pulled by a Sargent that informs you, he's there to take you to the commander of the base

- you'd hopped to at least get a few hours of sleep before the rounds of interrogations start, but the higher-ups are hungry for the confirmation of a successful mission

- you trudge behind the Sargent mentally preparing for the onslaught of questions and can't help but wonder what of the wounded soldier

-you subconsciously hope he'll pull through

Next part here.

[starlightrosa]

Hey! I got one for digital circus! If you’re not wanting to do it thats totally cool!

With Caine being AI and not having a previous life outside the circus, I think he would be rather confused and intrigued by tickles once he found out about it. And knowing Caine, he’d probably wanna test it out on all the circus members just cause their reactions would be amusing to him and fluffyness would ensue!

That is all, have a wonderful day Lovley!

Smile For Me

Summary: Caine's a bit fed up at the fact that his circus crew just will not smile. So he takes it upon himself to make them smile, and along the way, he finds out some very useful information about each of them.

Word Count: 2.2k words

Warnings: censored swearing, Caine is a teasy AI, cute alert.

A/N: ahhhhh nonnie i'm so sorry this is late! I've been so busy, and then I got sick which took me out for a while :( thankfully i'm no longer bedbound and managed to complete it this morning <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caine was a bit fed up today. Everything just seemed so dull. His circus cast weren’t having fun at all. His adventures weren’t being well-received, and everyone just seemed so gosh darn grumpy! Caine tried to get everyone used to the circus when they first arrived. He assumed wacky fun was how to make anyone laugh or even a smile to appear on their faces. But Caine didn’t hear a single giggle from anyone, nor see a grin. And it was starting to frustrate him.

Sure, he might only be some lines of coding and a program within a game, but why was it so hard to bring smiles to these kinds of people?! Something had to give, and Caine pondered this even as he worked on his top secret project in the Void, his Wacky Watch beeping occasionally to track the crew’s movements, ensuring they were staying in the bounds of the circus. And luckily, they all were.

Maybe it was the project annoying Caine, but his fingers twitched as the AI pulsated with extra energy. This sometimes happened, but it felt worse this time. He needed a way to get out this jumpy energy, so out of impulse, he left the project alone and teleported into the tent. Right near Ragatha, who was walking by.

“RAGATHA!”

The doll screamed and hit the floor pretty hard, landing with quite an audible ‘OOF!’ noise. Caine gasped and flew to her side, the AI checking if she had been hurt.

“Gracious, my dear! I’m so sorry if I startled you! Are you hurt? Oh, what am I saying? You hit that floor most hard indeed!” Caine rambled, his gloved hands softly checking for sore spots.

“I’m fine Caine, plehease just- AHAHAHA!” Ragatha squealed, as she felt Caine poke into her side, right above her hip. Caine retracted his hands.

“Is that a sore spot? Oh dear, Ragatha! I’m so very sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

“No, no. You didn’t hurt me, Caine.” Ragatha assured, biting her tongue against further giggles.

“Well, then… what was that noise that left your mouth, if not a pained noise?” the ringleader asked.

“Oh, I’m just kind of ticklish there, Caine. You got me by surprise.” Ragatha explained. Caine blinked, taken aback. A question mark appeared out of the top of his head to further display his utter confusion. That was a word he didn’t know.

“Tick-lish? Tick-uh-lish? What is… what is tick-lish, Ragatha?” Caine asked, sounding the word out slowly, to try and get a deeper meaning of it.

Ragatha sighed, a small smile pulling at her mouth. “Okay, so the plural is called tickling. Basically, you touch someone and if it makes them laugh, it means that they’re ticklish. And when it comes to tickling someone, you can try mostly anywhere. There’s different tickle spots for any person, if they are ticklish. Like a person’s sides, hips, ribs. Anything, really. It just kind of differs between different people.”

Caine could feel his digital fingers wiggling on instinct the more that Ragatha explained to him. It sounded fun, plus it sounded like a surefire way to make someone laugh! Which was exactly what Caine was after when it came to his circus crew.

“Might I tickle you, Ragatha?” Caine asked, his voice very blunt and to the point. Ragatha’s smile turned wobbly as she softly held her hands up in front of her.

“Caine, don’t be silly. I-I’m not ticklish.” she lied. Caine didn’t believe her at all.

“My dear, you just told me you were. I don’t think lying to me is going to get you very far.” he said, even as he snapped his fingers. His ringleader outfit changed to a cowboy outfit, complete with a digital rope appearing in his hands. He lassoed Ragatha like a cowboy and pulled her into his arms, the ringleader holding Ragatha in a soft hug, her back pressed against his hip as his gloved hands snuck along her back.

“Yee-haw! I got me a ticklish dollie in my hands! Whooooo, boy!” Caine cheered, his AI voice switching to a Texan accent very briefly. Ragatha pursed her lips hard against the laughter bubbling in her throat.

“Y-You sound rihidihiculous, Cahahaine!” Ragatha teased, wriggling softly in the ringleader’s grasp. Caine gasped in mock offence.

“Oh, how very rude! Why, such rudeness is not permitted in my circus!” Caine declared, as his hand that was not holding the doll squeezed into her left side. “Is it ticklish here?”

Ragatha gasped and clamped her hands over her mouth, muffled giggles going into her hands as she closed her real eye, the button one remaining stubbornly open. Her shoulders bounced softly as she fought to keep her laughter quiet. Caine’s eyes shone a little. There was some laughter, that he coaxed out of the ticklish ragdoll. Good gracious, finally!

“Why, your laughter is sweeter than angel food cake!” Caine stated. Ragatha couldn’t exactly blush, but she felt her face grow warm all the same.

“Hahaha, Cahahahaine! Lehehehet gohoho of mehehe!”

“If you say so.” Caine said, letting her go as requested. Ragatha sighed as she dusted her dress off. She really had not expected that to work. She thought for sure that Caine was just going to ignore her and keep tickling.

“This is most intriguing. I must go test this on the others!” Caine said, his AI mind buzzing with theories as to the other members’ tickle spots.

“Go do that. But leave Pomni alone. She hates being touched. Like, she really hates it.” Ragatha murmured softly.

Caine could see she wasn’t joking and he nodded. “Alright. I shan’t touch Pomni. But the others are fair game, right?”

Ragatha nodded, and Caine’s eyes shone with mischief. “Lovely. Bye now, Ragatha.” he said, flying through the circus, on the hunt for another circus member to tickle silly. And then he saw a purple ear disappear around a corner, and he chased after it.

“Hey, Jax!”

The purple rabbit turned around. Upon seeing Caine, he looked very irritated. “What do you want, Caine?”

“I want to ask you something, Jax!” Caine said, adjusting his gloves a small bit as he looked upon the taller one.

“Which is? Make it snappy, I’m a busy guy.” Jax responded.

“Are you ticklish, Jax?” Caine asked, his mismatched eyes focused entirely on Jax’s face. Of all the things Jax was expecting Caine to ask, that most certainly was not one of them.

“Uh-“

“I take it that’s a yes!” Caine said. “So now I’m gonna tickle you.”

“Oh, no the (SPROING!) you’re not!” Jax called back, running off. Caine flew after him, the ringleader chuckling mischievously.

“Running was a bad idea, my friend! If you just stayed still, this would have been so much easier~”

“(HONK!) YOU!” Jax shot back even as he turned a corner, panting softly as he turned his head, rapidly looking for somewhere to hide. But to his dismay, when his head turned back around, Caine flew towards him and trapped the rabbit in a tight backwards hug.

“Gotcha, Jax!” Caine declared, his fingers immediately going to work, spidering up and down Jax’s sides. Jax spluttered out a string of incoherent curses before the bunny fell into laughter, squirming desperately in Caine’s arms.

“CAHAHAHAINE, STAHAHAP!” Jax cried out, hiding his smile. Caine saw him doing this and tutted, the AI chuckling to himself.

“Let me see you smile.”

“CAHAHAHAINE, YOU LITTLE (SPLAT!)” Jax cursed. Caine sighed. How rude.

“Now, is that any way to talk to me? Where’s your manners, Jax?” Caine asked, one hand grabbing Jax’s hands and pulling them away from his mouth.

“CAHAHAHAINE!”

“Your laughter is oddly endearing. I think I may just have to tickle you forever.” Caine stated clearly. Jax spluttered in protest.

“FOR (DOING!) SAHAHAHAKE, STAHAHAP!” Jax pleaded. Caine chuckled and let go of the rabbit immediately. Two down, two to go. He wasn’t going to touch Zooble or Pomni, so that only left Gangle and Kinger.

“Where’s Gangle and Kinger, Jax?” Caine asked, still feeling that ticklish itch in his fingers. Jax scratched his head a bit as he calmed down from the giggle fit that Caine had unceremoniously shoved him into.

“And why the (SPLAT!) should I tell you?” Jax asked defiantly. Caine just shrugged.

“If you like, I can just tickle you again, since you seemed to enjoy it~”

“Uh, I think I last saw ‘em chatting to each other at the main stage.” Jax said, immediately spilling to avoid a round two from Caine. Caine was a good tickler, and Jax didn’t exactly want to get on the wrong side of that again.

“Good. Alright, bye.” Caine chirped, twirling his cane as he went to go find the last two at the main stage.

Kinger and Gangle were engaging in a conversation about bugs it seemed. Gangle had on her tragedy mask again, and Kinger was talking about butterflies.

“-See, Gangle, there are about 17,500 species of butterflies known to us, 750 of those species in the United States alone. This one is a tiger swallowtail, or known to us as Papilio glaucus, native to eastern Northern America. You can recognise them by the black and yellow marking on their wings!” Kinger rambled, getting a bit lost in his insect hyperfixation while Gangle let him carry on.

Caine came up and waved to them. “Hello, you two!” he greeted. Gangle squeaked and her hands instinctually came up to cover her face, while Kinger turned around.

“EEK! Oh, h-hi Caine…” Gangle murmured.

“Hi, Caine.” Kinger greeted. Caine flew down to meet them.

“What are you two doing on this fine day?” Caine asked.

“Oh, I was showing Gangle my butterfly collection! I have tiger swallowtails, skippers, metalmarks, monarchs. You name ‘em!” Kinger chirped happily. “Anyway! How can we help you?”

“Are either of you two ticklish?” Caine enquired.

Gangle squeaked and hid her face deeper in her ribbony hands. Kinger hummed and then nodded, not seeming to catch the teasy tone in Caine’s voice.

“Well, we both are, yes. Gangle more so than me. But why do you ask?”

That was all the answers Caine needed. He grabbed one of Gangle’s hands and one of Kinger’s hands, gathering them in the same hand to hold them each tightly. Preparing to go for Gangle first, he chuckled as he softly began to spider along her ribbony stomach. But to their shock, Gangle squealed and wrapped herself tight around Kinger’s abdomen, already squirming a little with anticipation. But then Kinger started to softly laugh.

“Hahaha! G-Gahahangle, stohohop! Thahat tihihickles!” Kinger pleaded softly. Caine begun to have an idea. If he could play his cards right… he could tickle them both at the same time.

Kinger or Gangle? Kinger… or Gangle? Hard choice. But considering Gangle was right there… yeah, she would work.

Caine chuckled mischievously as he switched his focus to Gangle, walking his gloved fingers along her ribboned hands. The red ribbons she was made of felt soft on his hands, and the giggles he heard from her indicated that Gangle was feeling all of this as well.

“C-Cahahaine! It tickles, it tickles!” Gangle squealed out. Caine laughed along with her as he kept up the tickles. Kinger was getting tickled too from Gangle’s wriggling, which ended up tickling him.

“Who knew you two were so ticklish?” Caine teased, smirking. He didn’t even have to tickle Kinger, Gangle was doing that for him!

“GAHAHANGLE, STAHAHAP!” Kinger cackled, the two falling back onto the floor. Caine followed them down and kept tickling Gangle, which caused the poor ribboned miss to laugh harder. Which in turn meant more squirming. And THAT meant more tickles for Kinger.

“I CAHAHAN’T!” Gangle argued. “AHAHAHA! CAHAHAINE!” she screeched. “NOHOHOT THEHEHEHERE!”

“Oh, not here? Not on your ticklish little ribbon legs? Why ever not?” Caine asked, where he was tickling the backs of Gangle’s ribbony knees. “They feel so soft here! I could tickle them forever.”

“PLEHEHEHEASE NOHOHO!” Gangle shrieked, squirming for all she was worth. Her high pitch laughter intermingled with Kinger’s deep chuckles, creating a melody of laughter that Caine adored.

“Hah! Okay, okay. I’ll stop.” Caine said, gently letting go and helping Gangle unravel herself from Kinger. Caine felt happier seeing his circus crew smile, if only for a fleeting moment.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” Caine grinned, that ticklish energy in his hands finally dissipating, with the ringleader making to leave. Only to be caught by Kinger’s hold.

“Uh-uh. What about you, Caine? Are you perhaps ticklish?”

“Preposterous, Kinger. I am just AI. Lines of coding. Impossible for code to be ticklish.” Caine declared, trying to put on a bravado. In truth, he didn’t know. But by the look on Kinger’s face, he was going to find out one way or another.

“You sure about that, dentures?” came a voice from behind him. Caine was filled with a sense of anticipatory dread as he saw Jax and Ragatha slowly approaching, their hands outstretched and wiggling. Kinger grabbed him and hoisted Caine in the air, as the circus crew took their places around him, ready to all rally against the ringleader. He gave them laughter, so they were gonna dish it right back.

“Now, let’s be reheheasonable here! P-please! PLEHEHEHEASE! WAHAHAIT! JAHAHAX! RAHAHAGATHA! KIHIHIHINGER, GAHAHANGLE STOHOHOP! NO NO NO NOHOHOHO!”

[calangolengo]

I haven't been able to stop thinking about your mute Stan headcanons and I started thinking about what would've happened if Stan lost his voice sooner, like in childhood instead of out on the road. Maybe he was in an accident or nearly died drowning or something and the incident made him stop talking around the age of 12. Just thinking about how upset Ford would be that his brother doesn't talk anymore but being determined to help him, and the two of them learning different ways to communicate, with ASL and Morse code, and Ford basically having to become Stan's translator when they're at school. I also think it would make Filbrick a little softer on Stan, if the accident was horrific enough.

Wow, this is great I love it!! At first I was thinking Stan was nonverbal most of his life since birth, but this is gold! A rare opportunity for Filbrick, personally I have a hard time writing him as anything other than the big bad lurking in the minds of his children, I think the fandom in general internalizes his actions too much by placing the weight of their own experiences on this figure, which makes it very difficult to see him beyond what they already decided he would be, but I think your vision is very interesting to be explored.

______________________________________________________________

Maybe Filbrick was taking a moment during the summer, the store closed for reasons beyond his control that forced him to not work that day. He ends up going for a quick walk on the beach and the twins follow him like a family outing eager to show their father their boat. Stan would obviously be the most excited and vocal one running back and forth while Ford would be walking in front of his father facing him talking non-stop but in a more normal tone.

Filbrick would be distracted looking at the sea while Stan would be imitating a plane circling around him and then, for a moment, a sharp turn of the child going off the sidewalk and a motorcycle would collide with him not too sharply but enough to throw his small body further forward and twist one of his arms at a completely unnatural angle.

From Stan's perspective he would be scared as hell, any child would be, screaming and crying and trying to get up and seek safety by his father's side, but Filbrick would be busy arguing with the owner of the motorcycle, the two of them yelling at each other almost becoming physical, the whole situation scaring the boy more, Ford coming to his side also in tears trying to help Stan in some way but being mostly useless and not able to calm him down.

At some point Stan could see his father approaching, his eyes hidden behind his glasses holding him by the shoulders and saying something, but with the crying and the screams and the pain he wasn't really listening until his father started yelling at him to shut up and be quiet and stop crying, his father's screams getting louder over his own, the whole situation escalating to the point where a small crowd was gathering. Then he becomes unable to make a sound when Filbrick puts his hand over his mouth, permanently shutting him up and carrying his body back home to get the car and take him to the doctor, his mother driving while his brother is left at home and Filbrick's hand still covering his mouth the whole way.

By the time they get to the hospital, when the doctor puts him on a stretcher and he is finally released from his father's hands, he is not making any sound, just the softest whimpers as the doctor gives him anesthesia and he is intubated.

After he wakes up, a cast on his arm and his mother and brother by his bedside smiling at him, his father in the store that is already open, all Stan can remember of the whole event is the screams and the hand preventing him from speaking. Going home with some painkillers, he stays quiet in bed for the first few days, barely making a sound. Ford with all his little heart tries to start any conversation, about monsters, comics, the boat, but nothing seems to cheer up his little brother.

The weeks pass and Stan stays at home because despite being physically recovering well he seems unable to whisper more than a few words, the doctor attributes this to the trauma of the situation and suggests that the family encourage him to talk more.

His mother keeps him at home for the rest of the summer, calling him to help her with her work on the phone, but this doesn't seem to have any effect, Ford tries to persuade him to talk about boats, about their life when they travel the world, about the new comics they could read and although Stan seems very interested he can't get more than a few sounds out of him. Filbrick calls him to work at the store one day, letting him stay in his usual position at first in front of the main display window where Stan used to make up silly stories to convince some customer, but the moment the third person leaves the store without buying anything and without getting any useful information about prices or discounts from the boy he is permanently moved to the cashier, Ford goes along trying to help his brother by supporting him where he can't act, but after he gives the wrong change once he is transferred to a stool in the corner of the cashier just watching his father work.

At one point Filbrick throws the question at Stan, wanting to know why he wasn't talking, why he was acting so strange, why he couldn't be normal. It's not meant to be a mean question, he just doesn't know how to connect with his son, understand his reasons, he was so desperate when the accident happened, the mere thought of one of his children getting hurt when he was around was incapable of protecting someone who should always be protected when he was around, he just wanted the boy to calm down, to go back to the way he was before the accident, for all that pressure to go away. Stan was always such a hard child to read, while he was open to any kind of conversation he didn't really say anything of importance, always running around and screaming and being so hard to control, Filbrick just wanted to understand what was going on, he wanted to fix what was wrong, but how could he reach out to someone so different from himself, he loved his children, he would even die for them, but it was so hard to enjoy being around them, it was hard to feel like being with them. He wanted them safe, but he also wanted them out of his mind, out of his home, taking his childhood problems with them. The guilt that gnawed at the edges of his mind was chased away only by the voice of his innermost desire: he could not be blamed for not loving his children; he had given them his food, his home, and his time. What more would it take for him to give?

Stan eventually had to go back to school, while his quietness was appreciated by his teachers the lack of answers to questions in class was not. Ford was frustrated but he was adapting, the Bros' codes and Morse code being used more than ever both in class and on the street, he became Stan's voice to the world. Stan was still the muscle of the team, fending off any idiot who came at them, at some point Ford found a book on ASL in the school library and took it home, by the arrival of adolescence and its end Ford and Stan had become fluent in sign language and had even created their own signs.

Then the science fair happened and it was pretty much the same thing, except Stan didn't have any words to really defend himself, signing didn't doing any good if the person his were talking to wasn't really paying attention to them.

Filbrick was so pissed, Stan could be silent now but it was still a problem with low grades and a ridiculous attitude of going out and fighting with other kids, when he threw Stan out the door he grabbed the first kid's bag that was lying nearby, the one he used to box.

It should just be a few days of sleeping in the car, he told his wife, it would teach him, it would give him a greater sense of gratitude for his father's efforts and to think of the excuses he would give to his brother, he would look for the boy by the end of the week.

But life is funny in the cruelest ways sometimes, like when you go to the police station to explain that your son is missing and have to explain to the chief that you kicked him out of the house just to teach him a lesson but the local authority figure doesn't seem to agree with the effectiveness of your methods, nor does seem particularly interested in solving any of your problems.

By the end of the month Filbrick had spent more on gas than on his own cigars, visited more tourist spots in the city than any tourist and seen more tears fall from his wife's eyes than any husband has seen in the history of mankind, he thinks, but the boy seemed to have disappeared from the world, swallowed up by the road fulfilling an old dream of his father, disappearing and taking with him his childhood problems for better or worse.

______________________________________________________________

Filbrick is weiFilbrick is weird to write, yikes. I wrote this here that was supposed to be one of the first versions of the story, I really liked your idea, I hope you write it too, it will be cool to see this AU growing.

[skzhocomments]

A Chance of Fate (Lee Know) - Chapter 1 - Know Your Cats

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 2

---

Chapter 1 - Know Your Cats

Chapter word count: 4.4k words

It was cold.

The winter wind hit your cheeks mercilessly, bringing a chill down your spine and making you shiver.

Why me?  You thought, tears stinging the corners of your eyes but not daring to fall yet. Crying made you tired, and you were already tired enough. Your feet were swollen from the walking, your arms sore from carrying the small bag with the few items you managed to take with you, and your back hurt from the weight of your ever-growing belly.

7 months.

That’s how long you’ve been pregnant for.

You were one of the unlucky ones who didn’t see pregnancy as this wonderful miracle the media made it out to be. For you, it was the most horrible thing you could’ve gone through. 

The first three months, you’ve been sick and felt the need to throw up each time you smelled anything. Anything. The next 3 months, you’ve felt so tired, you could barely get out of bed. Another nail in the coffin of your relationship. It also didn’t help that your partner has been borderline abusive ever since you told him about the baby – which was the very reason you’ve left at this late hour basically penniless.

And now, the cravings. Damn, these fucking cravings – what made you stop in front of a small restaurant called “Know your Cats”.

What a strange name, you thought and chuckled a bit.

From outside, “Know your Cats” looked like a cosy place. There didn’t seem to be too many people in, probably because of the late hour, but whatever they ordered smelled amazing. You wanted to eat it so badly. So, you went in and sat down at one of the tables in the corner of the small restaurant, as far away as possible from other people. You didn’t dare to take off your winter coat yet, but inside was warm. So warm, it almost warmed up your heart too.

Soon enough, a young waiter approached you.

“Good evening, ma’am, what can I get for you? Considering that I haven’t seen you here before, it must be the first time you come to our restaurant. So, maybe I could bring you something to drink while you consult the menu. Maybe some water?” he spoke quickly in a friendly tone and pulled out a pen and a small notebook.

Watching him talk so fast was pretty funny to you, you thought his chubby cheeks looked amusing when so many words per second would get out of his mouth.

“Uhm… sorry, but…” you didn’t dare raise your head, aware of the light bulb towering above you. After all, you’ve chosen to leave home at such a late hour for two reasons:

1. Your partner was away God knows where.

2. The dark bruises all over you. Ah, and your busted lip, the accessory that completed your look. The cherry on top.

However, the boy didn’t seem to notice. Or if he did, he didn’t say anything about it.

“… I was wondering what the people over there are having… it smells really good.”

“Oh, thank you! That’s our dear owner’s speciality! A secret recipe, if you will!”

The boy’s excitement brought a smile to your lips.

“It’s really just a fancy pork ragu.” He whispered, winking.

“Could I please know how much a serving costs?” you spoke quietly, counting in your head how much money you had in your pocket.

$7. Yes, that’s all your dear partner left for you to get some food when he left “on a business trip” 5 days ago. You knew that this was just code for cheating, and you cursed yourself yet again for not keeping your job 5 months ago when your pregnancy symptoms started getting worse. If you did, maybe you wouldn’t have endured his abuse for so long.

God, how could you have been so stupid? You weren’t even married, yet you let yourself become completely dependent on him as soon as the pregnancy test came out positive. You let him drag you down, comment on your weight, physically and financially abuse you, yet you stayed for so long. The thought of homelessness weighed heavier than everything else you’ve experienced living with him, until it didn’t.

“That’s $15. Would you also like something to drink with it? I heard orange juice is one of the best drinks to have while pregnant, and the owner makes a delicious one!”

$15. But you only had $7.

He scribbled something in the notepad and kept talking, but you didn’t even hear anything else he said. You just felt your eyes swell up with tears again, your vision getting blurry.

You were so hungry.

You started petting your belly and thought of the small child growing inside of you. There were no words to describe how terrible you felt for putting your future child through this. If you were alone, you wouldn’t mind going hungry, but knowing that you were hurting someone else as well – someone you loved so much already – was killing you.

“I… I can’t afford that…” you smiled bitterly, your voice so quiet, barely audible. “Maybe… there’s something on your menu that’s $7 or less?”

“I don’t think…” the young waiter rubbed his nape apologetically.

“That’s- that’s okay, I’m so sorry to have wasted your time.” You tightened the coat around your frame and prepared yourself mentally to get up and face the cold again.

Where were you going to go?

You didn’t want to think about it. But oh, you should’ve. You should’ve thought about it long ago and made a viable escape plan. Instead, you left with a small bag, $7 in your pockets and an almost empty phone. You also threw out your keys in one of the trash cans around the building you lived in with your partner, just to make sure you wouldn’t return.

“You know what, please wait a second. Stay here. Don’t go anywhere, okay?” The young waiter said quickly and turned his back at you, hurrying towards the counter.

Like you had anywhere you could go.

~

“Hey, everything good? What’s got you running like that?” Minho started, amused by Han’s speed so late in the evening.

“Hyung, what should we do?”

Minho raised an eyebrow.

“There’s this woman – I don’t have all the details, obviously, but she looks… she has bruises all over. And she’s pregnant. And she only has $7 and-”

“Hey, slow down a bit, will you?”

“What I’m saying is” – he inhaled loudly – “let’s give her some food on the house. What do you think?”

“And why would we do that?” Minho raised an eyebrow.

“Hyung, don’t be so cold. Let’s help her! Please???”

“Why should we? We don’t owe anyone anything. Who comes to a restaurant with no money anyway?” Minho cursed out.

“You know what? Just go over there and see for yourself, if you don’t want to give her anything on the house, then I’ll pay for her meal myself! Greedy bastard.” Han replied in an annoyed tone.

“Yah, it’s not like business’ been going so well lately, asshole!” Minho rolled his eyes and cursed him out.

However, he wasn’t actually as indifferent as he wanted to seem – and he couldn’t ignore what Han said either. Maybe that’s what made him so special in his friend’s eyes. So, Minho went and grabbed a glass of some freshly squeezed orange juice.

Han said she was pregnant, maybe she has morning sickness? He thought, so he poured out some ginger tea as well. That helped Chan’s wife – one of his closest friends – when she was pregnant. It should help you too, right?

With a glass of juice in his right hand and a cup of tea in his left, he made his way over the bar to the only occupied corner in the room. The loud table in the middle of the restaurant motioned for him to come and requested the check, but Han was right behind Minho, so he took care of them in an instant, seeing them out and locking the door behind them, making sure to turn the “Closed” sign around.

~

Your train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the sound of two glass objects hitting the table.

You raised your head and noticed a glass filled with what you assumed to be orange juice, and a cup with a lid on top, but before you could investigate what was in it, the fresh smell hit your nostrils, bringing a smile on your face.

Ginger tea, your favourite.

A good-looking man took the seat in front of you. He was very beautiful. It was like his face was painted by a skilled artist – his mouth, nose and eyelashes looked perfect, and his skin was flawless, almost making you jealous.

Boys always have the best eyelashes. You thought, glossing over his features once more.

You quickly noticed that what you liked the most about him were his eyes. A deep shade of brown orbs that glistened like stars under the restaurant’s light. And they were looking right at you, observing your every move and mannerism. Catching a glimpse of your own reflection in his eyes made you unwittingly frown.

You noticed quickly what he was wearing: a casual shirt and jeans and an apron. Is he the chef? You questioned, but before you could say anything, the man introduced himself.

“Hello, I’m Minho, the owner of the restaurant. Please.” He said, a kind smile forming in the corners of his mouth, while pointing at the drinks he brought.

“Hello, Minho. Thank you.” You smiled back and took a small sip of the orange juice. “This tastes nice. I’m Dal-Rae, by the way.”

Dal-Rae… Minho analysed your name in his head for a few seconds, thinking about how pretty it sounds. And looking at you, it seemed fitting, somehow.

Even with how tired your figure was, Minho could still be able to see behind the fatigue and notice your beautiful features.

“Nice to meet you, Dal-Rae, and welcome to Know your Cats.” He gestured proudly to the restaurant, making you chuckle.

“That’s a very funny name. What’s the inspiration behind it?”

“Well, that would be my three cats.”

“Oh my God, you have three cats?! That’s amazing!” You exclaimed, excited by the new information.

“You think so? Do you like cats?” He asked, his eyes sparkling.

“I love them! I always wanted one but…” but you never considered yourself responsible enough to take care of yourself, let alone of another living, breathing being. Or at least that’s what your partner made you believe about yourself the whole time you lived with him.

“You will never be a good mother” he would tell you. “You wouldn’t even be able to take care of a hamster, let alone a cat. And now you’re pregnant?! How will someone as horrible as you take care of a baby?! Don’t make me laugh!”

And you always believed him. After all, he knew you so well. Right?

“So, why did you keep it? Are you that self-centred? Did you really have to do this so I’ll never leave you?” he would scream at you, forgetting that it took two to tango. Forgetting that he was the one that took off the condom without your knowledge and permission so many months ago.

“You wanna see some pics?” Minho smiled genuinely and took out his phone, shifting your focus back at him. He seemed very hopeful that you would say yes, for some reason.

“I’d love to!” You replied honestly. You truly loved cats. They were adorable balls of fur, and you would cuddle with them all day if given the chance.

“That’s great! Okay, but before that… Jisung? Please bring out some servings of the special recipe for us, will you?” he spoke, and then opened his gallery and started showing you cute pictures of his three cats.

You learnt that their names were Soonie, Doongie and Dori and you pretty much remembered which was which from the first picture he showed you, something that truly surprised Minho. Not even Han knew all their names, and even if he would somehow remember them, he would mix up Doongie and Soonie. But for real now, was it so difficult to remember that Soonie had stripes and Doongie had a white belly? Come on!

“By the way, you can make yourself comfortable and take off your jacket. You must be hot with so many layers on you.” He got up and helped you with your winter coat, placing it neatly on a chair next to you.

“Oh, thank you…”

Jisung brought the food soon after you and Minho made some more small talk. He brought three servings with him and placed a plate in front of you, one in front of Minho and one in front of an empty seat, which he was quick to take.

Both Han and Minho started eating, but you felt a bit… weird. Out of place.

“Anything wrong?” Minho asked concerned, noticing that you didn’t even put your hand on the spoon.

“I… I really can’t… pay for this, unless… you accept $7?” You asked unsure and grabbed the crumbled notes from your coat pockets. You tried straightening out the notes as well as you could, but when you handed it to Minho, you noticed he looked at you with a big frown on his face, his eyes immediately softening.

He put his hands on the one hand you gave him that was still holding the money, and made you close it into a fist. It was his way of telling you that you should keep it.

“Don’t worry about it, you already paid when you listened to this weirdo talk about his cats for 15 minutes straight.” Han replied and patted your shoulder, as if he was comforting you for enduring so much.

“Yah, loudmouth, shut it!” Minho retorted. “And you better start eating while it’s still hot.” He took the spoon in front of you off the table and looked at you expectantly, as you hesitantly put the money back in your coat. When you were done, he placed the spoon in your right hand, gesturing to the food. “Come on, eat. Or do I have to feed you myself?” He kept looking at you, coercing you into trying a bite.

And damn, were you right! It not only smelled amazing, but it tasted heavenly.

“Fuck me, this is so good!” You said with no filter, forgetting for a moment that the men in front of you were, in fact, not your friends.

But eating with them did feel like getting food with a friend. Maybe that’s why you relaxed so much and spoke your mind freely, for what felt like the first time in years. You were not allowed to curse when you lived with your ex. It would start a raging fit from him, because “What kind of woman has such a rotten mouth?”, and you would regret opening your mouth and saying anything.

“Oops, excuse me!” you said, covering your mouth with your hands.

The two men, however, seemed to not mind your lack of manners, and started cheering when you told them that you loved the food.

~

“Thank you so much for this.” You said to Minho, both of you looking at how Han cleaned up the now empty table in the middle of the room. “Truly.”

“No worries.” Minho replied nonchalantly, his eyes darting away from you. Despite his indifferent tone, his mannerisms indicated that he’s somewhat nervous, as he rubbed his nape in slight embarrassment.

“I… uhm… really feel bad for not paying you at all for this. Like I said, I can only give you this much, but…” you grabbed your coat so you could take out the money again, but before you were able to do so, Minho stopped you by placing his hand on your wrist.

“Please keep them, that’s okay.”

“But…”

“I’m serious.” He looked straight at you, his glance alone convincing you to let it go. You didn’t want to risk annoying him, and it seemed your conversation would take that direction if you kept insisting.

“Okay. Uhm… I should take my leave now.” You said, petting your belly and grabbing your small hand luggage.

“Where are you going? Home…?” Minho treaded carefully, his words holding an inexplicable weight over you.

Home… I don’t have a home anymore.

You shook your head and tried to push the thoughts away, and tried thinking logically for once. Where could you go?

Letting out a small sigh, you replied, slightly dejected.

“Well… there should be a women's shelter about 4 km from here.”

“4 km?! Don’t tell me you plan on walking over there at 1 am in the middle of a winter night.”

You didn’t understand why his tone suddenly changed, and nor did Minho. He shouldn’t give two shits for a stranger, but he was somehow… worried for you?

“I mean… I don’t really have a choice… It’s not that far. I can make it. It’s only an hour walk away.” You replied, trying to convince him and yourself as well. The truth was that you were so tired, you could fall asleep if you put your head on the table, and your feet hurt so bad.

Being pregnant sucked.

“Let me take you. Jisung will be done in a minute and then we can go.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly- You already helped me so much.”

“I don’t even wanna hear it. Han, hurry up!”

“THERE’S STILL THE DISHES LEFT, HYUNG!”

“Just leave them. I’ll do them tomorrow morning.”

“OKAY THEN! I’M COMING!”

Without a second thought, Minho grabbed your bag and gestured to you that you could now go. Han went his own way, while Minho guided you to his car, in the opposite direction.

He opened the door for you and helped you in, actions that somehow made your stomach clench. No one’s acted so nice towards you. Ever.

And he was doing that for a complete stranger.

He started the car and drove to the destination you put in the GPS, and for the first time in your life, you felt an overwhelming feeling of safety. How funny it was – to feel so safe next to a stranger, when you haven’t once felt safe next to your so-called boyfriend – or rather, ex.

You were once again on the verge of crying as you’ve made this realisation in your head. How come you felt safe next to Minho? Was this really how you were supposed to feel next to someone else? Relieved, protected…

How come you’ve never felt this way before, next to your ex?

The 4-minute drive would’ve taken you more than an hour walk in the cold, so you now appreciated Minho even more for giving you a ride.

“So, this is it, right?” He said, parking in front of a small building that had all the lights off.

Weird, you thought and nodded unsure.

You both got out of the car and walked towards the building’s door, a small paper on it drawing your attention, almost burning your eyes.

“Unfortunately, due to a funding issue, the “Stay Safe” Women Shelter had to shut down indefinitely. In case of emergency, we recommend contacting our affiliate, “House of Hope” Homeless Shelter (+0X 0XXXXXXXXX) and they should offer you the help you need. We apologise for any inconvenience!”

The way your face dropped did not go unnoticed by Minho. It became clear to him that this has been your only escape route.

You slowly took out your phone from your pocket and clumsily formed the number on the paper, barely able to see with your screen’s brightness so low. You couldn’t turn it up though, since your battery percentage was so low, so you struggled and squinted your eyes, carefully pressing on each number on your phone, which proved to be so much more difficult through the tears building up in your eyes. It was getting harder and harder to swallow back the lump in your throat.

After a few rings, someone answered.

“House of Hope Homeless Shelter, this is Kelly, how may I assist you?”

“Good evening… I am contacting you because I needed some help and… I was just in front of the Stay Safe Shelter…”

“Oh, good evening, ma’am. Were you looking for a place to stay tonight?”

“Not just tonight… I don’t know for how long…”

“Are you alone, or are there also kids with you?”

“It’s just me… I’m 7 months pregnant.”

“We understand… Unfortunately, our shelter is full at the moment. The government retracted most of our funding, so these are difficult times. However, if you would be able to wait for a few minutes, I will try to contact other shelters to see if anyone would be able to take you in for now.”

“Oh…okay.”

“Thank you, ma’am, I will get back to you shortly.”

~

You let Minho know of the phone conversation and told him to head home, but he was adamant you would leave with him, or at least wait for the phone call in the comfort of the heated car. After some convincing, you found each other listening to some slow songs on the radio, enjoying the car’s warmth and watching the year’s first snow through the windshield.

Despite the peaceful atmosphere, you were restless and anxious. Your hands were trembling, and you couldn’t think straight. Where else would you go?

Minho didn’t say anything either. He kept thinking of ways to calm you down: should he lay his hand on top of yours and tell you that everything was going to be okay? Should he say anything at all? Why was he still with you, anyway?

You tried to think of anything else and ignore the feeling of impending doom settling in your stomach, so you looked out the window. Small snowflakes would land on the car’s hood and immediately turn to water due to the heat.

Your eyes would dart to Minho from time to time, who seemed to be lost in his own little world as he watched the same scene in front of you - the snowflakes dancing in the sky and landing on the car - and you remembered that one belief that watching the first snowfall of the year with someone would lead to falling in love with them. However, it felt like such a foolish thought, you immediately let it go.

25 minutes later, your phone’s ringtone snapped you both out of your trance. You made a mental note to change your ringtone after how anxious it made you feel right now, being sure that you won’t be able to keep hearing it again after this horrendous day.

“Yes?”

“Hello, ma’am? We apologise for the delay. Unfortunately, we were unable to find any shelter close to your location that would be able to accommodate you for tonight. We recommend going to a police station and asking for help, and you could try calling again tomorrow, when possible new resources would be available.”

“I… Seriously?” You started, but when the lady started apologising countless times on the phone for not being able to help you out, you simply ended the call. You wished the earth would swallow you whole, making you disappear for good.

But then you slapped yourself mentally. How could you be so selfish as to wish to disappear? You were not alone anymore. Your body was not yours alone anymore, and your baby didn’t deserve any of your selfish thoughts. You needed to be strong.

“What did they say?” Minho asked anxiously.

Why was he feeling like this anyway? This was so stupid, you thought. You’re no one. You’re just a random woman who stumbled upon his restaurant and took advantage of his kindness.

“They… they aren’t able to help me, so they recommended I go to a police station for tonight. Perhaps tomorrow, they’ll make some room…”

“Then, should we go to a police station…?” Minho hesitated.

You snorted and turned to him, answering in a more annoyed tone than you would’ve liked to.

“Do you think I can go to the police looking like this?!”

Minho’s eyes grew wide, conveyed in them what could only be described as shock. You didn’t want to lose your cool, not against this man who’s been nothing but kind to you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. I just… I’m very stressed right now and that didn’t come out as I wanted it to, and-”

“Why? Why can’t you go to the police? Are you trying to protect whoever did this to you?!” Minho cut you off and replied in an equally annoyed tone as you. However, despite the harshness in his voice, you didn’t get the feeling that he was angry. Instead, it felt more like he was scolding you.

“It’s not that! It’s just… I’m scared, okay? I’m scared they will ask me questions and when I tell them the truth, he’ll find out and come get me. He’ll… he’ll definitely find out. He’ll find me, and I’m scared of him. I just want me and my baby to be safe!” You continued, losing your composure for a moment and allowing this dreadful weakness to take over you. You started crying and placed your face steady between your palms, thinking about how pathetic you were being.

“Okay, you know what? I’m sure you are very tired right now.” He put one hand on top of your head and petted it gently, making you raise your face and look at him. His eyes were kind and assuring. “Resting is also good for the baby.” He continued, and as he said that, he put the car into gear and drove off.

“Where…?” you tried to ask, confused, but you ended up choking on a sob.

“Back to the restaurant. I have some extra rooms. After a good night’s sleep, you’ll clear your head and be able to think better.”

“Minho…” you sobbed. “Really? I… I can’t-”

“It’s okay, Dal-Rae. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to figure everything out tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much, but… are you sure…?”

“Mhm.” Minho brushed you off with his hand and continued driving, both of you staying silent, listening to the soft tunes on the radio.

When you arrived, Minho led you upstairs. You were surprised that the place had stairs in the first place, since you didn’t notice them earlier. On the top of the stairs, a door was separating the restaurant and the three-bedroom apartment Minho lived in.

“It’s so the cats don’t go out.” he explained, and you understood what he meant as soon as he opened the door and Dori came running and screaming at the both of you.

“What’s up? Hungry?” Minho replied and scratched Dori’s chin, and as the sounds of his voice rang throughout the apartment, Doongie and Soonie spawned out of nowhere as well.

“Oh my god, hi babies!” You exclaimed and smiled, quickly placing yourself on your knees to pet them, since you couldn’t exactly bend, your belly being so large by now.

You didn’t notice Minho’s smile. He was stuck looking at how quickly his cats accepted you and let you scratch their fur, Soonie even purring against your stomach and petting itself on it lovingly.

“Okay, enough playing, it’s late. Let’s get you up.” Minho put his palms under your arms and lifted you from the ground like you were a kid, bringing a slight chuckle to your lips.

---

Chapter 2

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #42 | 6.25.24 ๋࣭⭑

tis the season of Kayn

HAPPY SUMMER!!

Hope you're all doing well and keeping cool <3 I know for me it's started getting to.... the Hot Season. To celebrate the start of Hot Girl Summer (and the beta route going live), I of course had to draw the hottest girl, Kayn.

we must stay cool brothers

Now that we've paid respect to The Hot Girl, let's get into the devlog!

Writing has been fun this month. A lot of it has been dedicated to Etza edits and writing Kuna'a's route. We're getting to about the halfway mark with Etza edits, so we are definitely chugging along!

Sneaky peeky of a recent edit

For Kuna'a's route, I said I wanted to have his first draft complete or almost complete by the next devlog, and I'm VERY PLEASED AND PROUD to say their first draft is In Fact almost complete! This is, of course, the very, very first draft so I'll be going back in to flesh some scenes out here and there and rizz him up even more. But I'm happy with the fact that at least the very base draft is done ^^

This month, I did quite a bit of drawing actually! I finished rendering two of Kayn's CGs, meaning 8 out of their total 9 CGs are finished YYYEEEAAAHHHH!!!!!

it feels so good to see the ending cg titles ouuggHHHH

Because Fenir's beta will be going out soon, I wanted to make some headway on his CGs. This month, I ended up finishing 3 of his CGs and sketching two. I'd really like to get 5-6 of his CGs finished so that it's a similar amount to Kayn's beta, so here's to praying!

baby girl

I also finished Senja's (they/he) sprite and base expressions. His outfit was designed by very talented bestie @saffein-e so please thank them for doing god's work o7

Finally, this past month we worked mostly on Kayn's beta route and getting Fenir's beta route ready for Patreon access!

If you'd like to try out Kayn's beta, you can get access to it if you subscribe to my Patreon (tier Hydra). Beta access to Kayn's route will close as soon as Fenir's beta goes up which will be early July, so if you want to experience Kayn's beta, definitely make sure you subscribe before it ends!

Player feedback for Kayn's route so far has been really positive, which has been a relief, especially since Kayn's route is the first one I wrote so is arguably the roughest (I have a big soft spot for it and like it, but I'm obviously Biased). So I hope you're all looking forward to it!! <4

beta feedback: so real

I also have started the voice acting sessions for the characters, which is EXTREMELY EXCITING!! That's the last asset I need basically, so the fact we have finally entered a stage where we can start recording is crazy. Our current session is for Kayn's route, but in the coming months we'll be moving to the next routes similar to how beta-testing is going :')

Aside from Kayn's route, I've also been working on coding Fenir's beta route. Rereading his script and he's... a cutie, I'll admit. So I hope the Fenir fans are excited for his route to enter the beta phase!

LET'S.......... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Last thing, but I also ran a poll on Alaris's release, basically asking whether you all would prefer a full or segmented release. The results were basically 50/50 LMFAO and that's the vibe I've been getting in general. So while I don't want to solidify anything yet, just let it be known that Alaris may end up having a segmented release, where the first four Central routes are released first, and the Fae routes a bit later. I'll see how I start feeling as the year goes on and where Alaris stands, but thank you all for the support and understanding for the poll <3

I was pretty busy this month, so I didn't have too much time to do market research :cries:

But............

I did see the new Haikyuu movie..................... And I am the biggest Haikyuu fan. Quite literally if you want to know everything about who I am as a person and creator, watch Haikyuu and you will understand who I am to my deepest depths.

obviously I had to draw baby

But aside from that, I want to give one last shoutout to our Hot Girl Summer cross-promo! If there are any games you haven't tried out in this little set, I highly recommend giving at least 1 or 2 of them a peek! All of the games are so charming and have some similarity to Alaris, whether it's a personality mechanic, hot Fae, or a fantasy/ adventure story :')

Links to each game can be found on the Alaris Game page under the magic and mystery otome section!

I'm pretty happy with the progress we made this month. While there's still a lot to do, it's satisfying to see Alaris come more and more to life with each month. See you all next month with hopefully more exciting progress!

[avatarmerida]

So Dana tweeted this and I’m not sure what to label this AU but basically Willow is a baddie skating in the halls and Hunter is a student council member who is always on her case. Do they have magic? Idk. Am I obsessed? Yuh. Also based on this art and this art by @turquoisespace35 this art by @smallpapers and also this art by @gravityfying. Anyway, here’s some huntlow fluff thanks for the inspiration guys! Hope ya like it!

———

Hunter was simply minding his own business, trying to identify the bird in the tree above him and having a rather pleasant afternoon as he tried to destress from his eventful day. To be fair, every day was eventful for him. As a student council member and top of his class, he was responsible for making sure Hexside' reputation stayed pristine. This had earned him a rather unfavorable reputation himself. He was a legacy, he had high expectations, so he needed to do everything in his power to bring everyone to his level. In his mind, he was strict but fair. But the students saw him as a glorified hall monitor.

Which is why he always walked home alone.

As he admired the red bird that seemed to be calling out to him, the pleasant sound of silence was interrupted by a panicky echo.

“Look out!” came a familiar voice, but before Hunter could attempt to ‘look out’ as the voice had advised, his world went blurry and the next thing he knew he was pinned against the tree. When he regained focus, having a few choice words at the ready, he was stunned to find the culprit was one of his classmates.

His rebellious classmate with the most dress code violations. His resilient classmate who always had holes in her stocking and scars and bruises on her knees from skidding and falling so often. His carefree classmate who was the reason he carried a first aid kit with him. His breathtaking classmate whose bright peridot eyes somehow managed to shine through the yellow tint of her safety goggles. His classmate who was… a classmate, and nothing more.

Does she skate everywhere? He thought, knowing her skates were the cause of their… position. Skating in the hall was one thing, but this path was all downhill; even a pro would have a hard time stopping.

“Hunter! Hi! What are you doing here?” Willow casually asked the boy she currently had pinned against a tree, her hands resting naturally on his chest. Even with the height her skates gave her, he was still so much taller than her.

“Well I… I have a life outside of school, you know,” he replied, somewhat lying, his face positively beet red. Her skates made her so much taller, but she had never been this close to him. She had flipped back her signature yellow shades to see him better, apparently he was so close that he was in focus without them.

“I know,” she said plainly. “I just thought you had that big presentation today.”

“Oh that, no that’s tomorrow.” he said, his composure returning at the mention of business. “Really? Cause I’m pretty sure that’s where Amity is,” said Willow, backing up to give him space. “I thought it was the 4th.”

“It is,” he said. “On Wednesday.”

“No, Hunter today is the 4th,” said Willow.

“Wh- a-are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Don’t you remember when you wrote me up on Friday? You said ‘this is the last one of the month’ because the next day was the first and that was Saturday, so then Sunday was the second and then yesterday-.”

“Oh no,” he said softly, the color draining from his face as he realized she was right. His breathing became faster. “Oh no, oh no, oh no! H-how did I mess this up?’

“Hey, it’s okay! It doesn’t start until 4 so you-.”

“It’s almost 3:45 and the school is at least a 35 minute walk,” said Hunter, beginning to spiral. “A-and we always start right on time and I’m supposed to go first and if I don’t go then my proposal won’t be considered and if my proposal isn’t considered then that means I’ve spent weeks preparing for nothing and not to mention if my uncle hears that I-.”

“Hey! Hey, hey, hey,” said Willow, waving her hands in front of his eyes to get him to snap out of it. She placed her hands on his shoulders to direct his focus on her. “Just breathe, okay? Look at me and breathe. Count with me 1,2,3 in and 1,2,3, out. In and out.”

She motioned him to follow as she counted with her fingers, not removing her eyes from his until he felt safe to follow her instructions. Hunter would normally feel silly but it actually helped him. He focused on Willow and while his anxieties did not disappear, they definitely felt less heavy.

“Good,” Willow said gently when she could tell his heart was no longer about to explode. “Now, let’s think of a solution, okay? There’s always a way to help. Now, you’re right; the school is about a 35 minute walk from here-.”

“I know, it’s useless to even think that-.”

“-but I bet we can cut that in half on skates,” she finished with a smile.

Hunter looked at her like she was insane, like there was a punchline coming, but she remained unmoved. She was serious.

“What? Are you gonna carry me to the school on your skates? Y-you’re just gonna scoop me in your arms, and whisk me away as we speed off together into the sunset like you’re some kind of beautiful knight who reached me o-or something? Is that what you’re saying?” The way Hunter said it made it seem like he didn’t believe it was possible but also that he had had this impossible thought before. More than once. He didn’t seem against it.

“Um, not quite,” she smiled. She turned to remove her backpack, a blush gracing her cheeks (though it was nothing compared to the one Hunter currently wore) as she pulled her solution from her knapsack.

“You brought extra roller skates?” Hunter said, somehow not really supposed.

“I literally go nowhere without them!” Willow exclaimed in a bright, bubbly one, as she handed them to him. “They’re my dad’s old pair and I was gonna give them to Gus but they’re too big, but they should fit you! How lucky is that?”

“What, you expect me to do the presentation in roller skates? That’s worse than not showing up at all!”

“No, we can put your shoes in my bag and you can change when you get there,” she said simply. “We can totally get you there in time, I know a short cut.”

She seemed so sure, so genuine, so sweet. Hunter found it hard to keep up appearances as he let out a dramatic sigh as he snatched her skates from her and he leaned against the tree to start putting them on.

“Well, don’t think this means I’m gonna stop writing you up,” said Hunter as he carefully slipped off his shoes.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she smiled, gently rolling her eyes endearingly as she went to place his shoes in her bag. She fought back a grin when she noticed the red cartoon birds that decorated his socks, but she kept that to herself.

He watched him struggle with the laces for a moment, they were loose on his ankles but the edges were frayed and were hard to get through the holes on the very top. She leaned down to help him, and when their fingers touched briefly Hunter pulled his hands back like he had just touched lava. Willow said nothing, knowing how prideful he was as she felt his eyes on her as she wordlessly tightened his laces.

She couldn’t help but hope that he was speechless the way she had been the day she had fallen in the hallway. It was the usual game, she was teasing him beckoning him to chase her to give her the citation in person and she had been overzealous and lost her balance skating backwards. But he didn’t taunt her or laugh, but rather rushed to her side riddled with concern. She remembered how there were no words in her head as she watched him drop the cold persona that she had long suspected was an act to lecture her on safety, not because it was a rule or because he wanted to say “I told you so” but because he cared about her.

Willow suspected he wasn’t used to someone caring about him the same way.

“I know you’re just doing this so you can tell everyone how uncoordinated I am,” he muttered after a minute, not knowing how to maneuver the silence. He didn’t really believe Willow would be so ruthless, he was just embarrassed that he needed saving.

“What?” said Willow, genuinely surprised by his harsh tone. It wasn’t his usual harsh tone, it had a twinge of hurt beneath it.

“Well, why else would you be so nice to me?” He asked as she finished the bow. “No one likes me.”

Willow giggled.

“What?” asked Hunter, not used to being laughed at in a way that didn’t feel condescending.

“Boscha’s always saying I’m no one,” she said, rising to her feet. “So maybe I’m the perfect person to like you.”

“Don’t say that!” He said sternly, as he quickly stood up as well, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “You’re not no one.”

He said it with such conviction and anger, as though the idea of her believing she was any less than she was inspired a fury in him unmatched by any uniform infraction or social injustice. He didn’t need to add “because” or “to me” because he felt it was so obvious. She was too vibrant and kind and strong to be no one.

As she searched her mind for a response, she saw Hunter begin to lose his balance and quickly leaned forward to catch him.

“I’m guessing you’re not much of a skater?” she asked lightly, not knowing what else to say.

“I uh don’t have much time for leisure or recreational activities,” he said, clearing his throat as he was overly aware of her hands on him, one on his back and the other gently on his chest. It was difficult to remain professional in such a stance, but if anyone could try it was him.

“Well, consider this a crash course,” she teased.

“What?”

“Oh no, sorry,” she laughed nervously. “We’re not gonna crash. Well, probably not. Well… we’re gonna try.”

“Oh this is a bad idea,” said Hunter, his legs shaking.

“Hey, don’t worry,” she said, helping him regain his balance until he stood by himself. She held out her hand to him and gave him a sweet smile. “I won’t let you fall.”

He carefully took it and allowed her to lead him.

She did not seem opposed in the slightest to be holding his hand, to be seen holding his hand. He mainly focused on keeping his skates facing forward and not knocking into each other, but Willow had a natural balance. He knew it came from practice, that if he wasn’t here holding her back she’d be doing elaborate spins and jumps, but still he felt safe beside her. If he wasn’t in a rush, he felt like he could do this forever.

He just wished he had a helmet.

As they descended down the bumpy street, there was so much for Hunter to be nervous about: falling on his face, being late to his presentation, showing up to his predation with a face that had clearly been fallen on, but the most pressing matter at the moment was whether or not the stunning girl holding his hand could feel how sweaty it was. His heart was racing but not from the cardio. It was a good thing Willow knew where they were going because his eyes certainly were not on the path ahead of them.

This was the longest silence that had ever passed between them, Willow wasn’t sure what to make of it. She had seen Hunter concerned before, but these nerves were new. She tried to lighten the mood.

“These are your fault, you know.” She said, adopting her normal tone as seen in their hallway encounters.

“What?”

“My rollerskates.”

“What? Me? How? I never-.”

“Do you remember my most common infraction before you were always hounding me about my skates?”

“Tardiness,” he said without hesitation.

She smiled, wondering if he remembered everyone’s violations so quickly. “Yeah, I was always running late because Bocha needed to make sure she tormented me before first period.”

“Ms. Park, I assure you if I had known that was the reason I would’ve handled the situation with more-.”

“I know,” she said simply. “But still, you said something once that gave me an idea. I didn’t tell you that Boscha was the reason, I just said I kept getting lost and you said ‘well then, find another way.’ So I did.”

“You heard that and got ‘rollerskate everywhere?’”

“Okay, I might’ve put my own spin on it,” she giggled as they turned a corner, and she felt his grip tighten . “But it worked, didn’t it? I haven’t been late since.”

“Yes but roller skates are still against school safety and dress codes,” Hunter pointed out.

“But they get me there,” she said simply. “And they got me off Boscha’s radar and onto yours.”

He looked at her with wide, worried eyes. “Miss Park, I hope you’re not suggesting that I am on a level with Boscha,” he said seriously and another smile tugged at Willow’s lips as she couldn’t help but notice the disgusted way he said Boscha’s name. How he didn’t even bother to grace her with formality. “I know I may be strict, but I hope you know I would never want to make you feel how she makes you feel. I know she used to sit on the council, but If I ever-.”

“No, no nothing like that,” she laughed. “It’s just, I much prefer being on your radar is all I mean.”

“Oh.” Was all he could say. It still didn’t add up, she liked being in trouble? “Huh.”

Willow saw and understood his confusion. “You’re really into your position on the student council,” she said as though he was unaware. “Sometimes it feels like breaking the rules is the only way I get to talk to you.”

Did she know how every morning he held his breath, worried today was the day she changed her ways? That he wouldn’t feel her breeze as she zoomed by him in the hall, her braids coming undone as she maneuvered through other students like a maze? She had never injured anyone (besides herself) and she technically wasn’t running and hadn’t damaged any school property, but Hunter had scoured the handbook for something to say about it. Because he just wanted an excuse to talk to her.

“And you… like talking to… me?” He asked.

“Yeah,” she said simply. No hesitation, no eye rolling, no sarcasm. How could that be true? “Ya know, you’re not as uptight as you want everyone to believe you are. I think you’re secretly a big sweetheart.”

“Me?” He scoffed, he had certainly never been called that before. Not even ironically. “How am I sweet? I write you up every day!”

His voice shook as they quickly moved to avoid a pot hole but Willow never let go of his hand.

“Well, yeah but,” Willow couldn’t help but laugh. “I mean, you make a big show of writing me up and threatening me with detention but you never actually follow through.”

“What? I-I have! I mean, I must have at least once er-”

“No,” she said, shaking her head, “You always say you could but you never do.”

“Well, t-that’s because it goes straight on your permanent record.”

“Uh-huh,” she said, obviously unconvinced. She was pretty sure those didn’t even exist. She also knew it wasn’t because he didn’t have the power to, because he sent Boscha to detention literally all the time.

She had her theories, but right now probably wasn’t the right time to voice them.

“I… well, the thing is I…” he offered her a soft look as he tried to find the words. Something in his eyes made her think maybe he was about to confirm her theories. “I think I actually might…”

But before he could finish, the hill became too steep and Hunter promptly lost his balance. He unwillingly surrendered Willow’s hand as his arms flailed to his sides trying to save him from tumbling forward. Willow rolled beside him, keeping her eyes on him as she tried to grab his hand again. When she realized she couldn’t, she improvised and reached out to grab in an embrace, trapping his arms at his side as she clung to him tightly. They continued to skate down the hill at increasing speed as Willow tried to ease gently into the breaks so they wouldn’t go flying.

Finally, they reached flat land and when they did Hunter arrived deeper in Willow’s embrace, his cheek pressed firmly against hers as she shut her eyes, focused on keeping them safe. All he could focus on was how close they were. She lifted him off the ground, not knowing her own strength and all he could do was just be lifted by her.

Their faces were touching, oh Titan their faces were touching!

He swore he wasn’t breathing, he swore time stood still as he floated in some parking lot being held tightly by Willow Park. He could smell the sweet scent of her shampoo, a collection of jasmine and mango.

“You okay?” She asked, opening one eye to make sure no damage had come to him.

“Never better.” He squeaked. He wondered if he even weighed anything to her.

“We made it,” she declared gleefully, and he was so close he could feel the smile on her face. He was so lost in the euphoria of being so close to her he had totally forgotten the reason for it. Then his eyes registered where they were.

And in record time too.

“We made it,” he breathed as she set him down. How had he ever doubted her?

“Not quite yet,” she said as she took his hand and led him once again. “C’mon!”

They slid through the side entrance and something about it made Hunter feel oddly… giddy. Willow sped ahead of him like a bullet, her brow furrowed in determination as she raced against the clock.

“Move aside!” She announced to a few lingering students walking through the halls. “Precious cargo, coming though!”

He laughed, in spite of himself, feeling like he was in a dream. Being with her in the hall now instead of against her felt… right. This was how she saw the world: fast, exciting, scary. Normally he was just a mere star she passed by, close for only a brief moment before her orbit spun her elsewhere. But now he was fully caught in her gravity, hoping to be a moon, a sun, a comet; anything that followed her closely. Anything she’d let him be.

All too soon, they were outside the classroom where Hunter was to give his presentation. Willow could see they were still setting up and Hunter would get his chance to do his presentation.

“We did it!” She declared victoriously, wiping the sweat from her brow. “We did-.” She looked up at him in excitement but was taken back when he didn’t share her elatement. Instead, his focus was on her. He was looking at her like she was some precious jewel he had been searching for his whole life. “What’s wrong? Do I have something on my face or-.?”

“You’re amazing,” he said like the phrase took all the air in his lungs.

She gave a tiny chuckle as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. It wasn’t what she had been expecting to hear but she certainly wasn’t complaining.

“Well hey, don’t waste all your charm on me, student council,” she teased. “Getting here was the easy part, you still have a speech to give.”

“Right,” he said with a rare smile. Willow wondered why he didn’t smile more, he had such a pretty smile. “Anyway, thanks for all your help. I… really appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” she said, and Hunter swore a rosey halo surrounded her. As he was admiring just how picturesque she was, a mischievous smile crept onto her face, as she allowed her wheels to bring her closer to him. “Um, excuse me, student council member Wittebane, but wearing roller skates in the hallway is against school policy, in case you weren’t aware.”

He offered her a shy, playful smile, running his hand through his hair as he leaned against the lockers, absentmindedly sending a chill up Willow’s spine. She caught him off guard and for a moment he was a little silly. Like he felt safe enough to be.

“Well, I guess I have to make an exemption today,” he said, his voice possessing a lighter tone that Willow was certain few people had ever heard. She liked it. She watched him quickly sink to the ground as he began to undo the laces on the skates as she handed him his shoes from her bag.

“Tomorrow morning though, no roller skating in the hallways,” he said, mocking himself as he wagged his finger at her. They both knew she wouldn't listen.

“But what if I’m running late?” She said innocently as she helped him back onto his feet once he had returned to his shiny dress shoes. “I have classes on opposite sides of the school, how else am I supposed to get there in time?”

“Well uh, I’m sure I could assist somehow,” he said, clearing his throat. He owed her one after all. “I could get you a special hall pass or help you plan a route or-.”

“Maybe you should start walking me to class,” she suggested.

“As punishment?”

She shrugged. “If you wanna call it that,” she said, brushing some invisible lint off of his shoulder. “Here, lemme fix your tie. Can’t have you beating my record for dress code violations, now can we?” She made sure he didn’t reflect the journey too much, adjusting his pin as well. Even after all that, he still managed to look so pristine. Maybe it was his posture, or his height, or the sharp definition of his jawline but his demeanor just seemed like it was permanently studious. Like he had a shell that extended to his heart. Like the cracks in his composure could only be seen up close and Willow wanted more than anything to have them memorized. Willow had caught glimpses of these cracks before, when she made a joke that caught him off guard and summoned a smile or dared him to joke back before following up with policy and procedure. These cracks didn’t make him foolish or fragile as she knew he worried they did, no: they made him shine.

The classroom was becoming louder as Amity tried to gain control so they could start and Hunter knew they’d be starting soon. But all he wanted to do was watch her fuss over his tie like she just wanted an excuse to be close to him.

“Willow, I-,” he started and her eyes instantly darted up to him. He then realized that that may have been the first time he had used her first name. He said it so gently, like he was worried he wasn’t worthy of it. She looked at him with wide eyes, like she hoped he’d say it again.

“Yeah?”

“I uh… I guess better head inside,” Hunter said, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice. Both because he didn’t want to leave and because that wasn’t what he wanted to say.

“Guess you’d better,” she echoed, though she did not release him.

“But thank you again,” he said. “For helping me, for getting me here. No one’s ever done something like that for me before.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I have plenty of experience with being a no one, huh?” She said coyly. She knew he was about to protest, but before he had the chance to, she rose up and slyly pressed a quick kiss to his check. “Good luck, Mr. Student Council,” she whispered with a playful wink, doing one more small spin before skating away, leaving him stunned by the lockers.

She knew she had left a faint lipstick mark on his face, and from the corner of her eyes she noticed that he could not bring himself to wipe it off before finally heading inside.

Must not be a dress code violation, she thought to herself. Good to know.

[bringbacktim]

Fearless -O.P⁸¹

Not edited or proofread

This took forever and I apologise

Warnings: overuse of words cause I cba to find synonyms , I took lyrics out so its choppy at some parts

I want to thank @rinna0017 for telling me Oscar is fearless by Taylor swift coded because yes he is

Wc:1.5k

There's something about the way

The street looks when it's just rained

Oscar and Y/n were enjoying day three of seven in Portugal , the weather had been great the whole time they'd been there . Well that was until they planned to actually go somewhere and then it rained cats and dogs , but when you're a young couple in love nothing can put you in a bad mood

The pair couldn't stop giggling as they tried to either find some tree to hide under or a hideaway to duck under until the rain stopped

There's a glow off the pavement

Any oil that had leaked onto the pavements before the northern downpour were displaying all the colours of the rainbow as it mixed with the rain water , which made for a pretty sight

You walk me to the car

Oscar was in more of a rush to get to the rental car , probably due to his expensive clothing, practically dragging her

"C'mon baby we're gonna get soaked if you don't hurry up" he basically pleaded as he turned to look back at her

"It's only rain oscar, it's not going to kill you" she said with a laugh

As they approached the quaint Mini Cooper they had rented opting for a car that wouldn't stand out unlike the McLaren's he was used to

And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there

In the middle of the parking lot, yeah

Oscar was confused at first when he opened the passenger door for his girlfriend to get in , but she just put her stuff on the seat and closed the door . As he caught her eyes to question her he saw her stood like the confused emoji(🤷🏻‍♀️) hands up and a head tilt, of course he knew what this meant as he'd been in this situation before

"We're not dancing in the rain again"

"It was fun last time don't lie , you just want to go back to the hotel and watch Ozark" she accused

"Okay maybe I do , but don't act like Jason Bateman isn't your celebrity crush" he retorted as she laughed knowing it was true

We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know

I'm trying so hard not to get caught up now

Y/n will admit that she was one hundred percent ogling/admiring her boyfriend from the passenger seat , but who wouldn't that white shirt was doing wonders for him

"It's a good thing I don't ever let you drive , you'd crash 'cause you're too busy looking at me" he laughed feeling her eyes bore a hole in the side of his head

"Some people take it as a compliment y'know having their girlfriend think they're hot" she tried to sound serious/annoyed, but couldn't help but crack a smile

"You think I'm hot?" He questioned turning to her with a classic "I hate you" with a shake of the head and a grin

But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair

Absentmindedly makin' me want you

Everyone knows that one of the hottest things a guy can do is run his hand through his hair subconsciously, so when he did it before putting his hand on the back of her headrest her heart nearly stopped due to how hot those two actions were together

Truth be told if she was in that drivers seat they would be parked far enough away from anyone walking by and if anyone from the authorities questioned them they'd claim they didn't know the laws in Portugal

And I don't know how it gets better than this

How could life possibly get any better than driving down some country road wind in her hair , sun shining , her boyfriend beside her , and some Taylor Swift love song playing on the radio as they sang along

"Are you sure we can't just stay here forever?" She asked looking over at him

"I wish, but we both know you'd get bored in a week" he said with a smile and a playful shove in her direction

"Depends if you talk to me about cricket or not "

That statement earned her a scoff and a " don't lie you love it " from the man next to her as she laughed along . She didn't mean it in a mean way , everyone has one subject that they can and will talk about with someone even if they don't care or like it

You take my hand and drag me

headfirst, fearless

The car came to an abrupt stop and

Y/n was confused as to why he'd stopped and where they were , well that was until she looked around and out of the window as he was getting out that she realised they were at a beach that they'd seen what they assumed were other tourists on the first day who looked like they were having the times of their lives dancing a long to music and chatting or sunbathing and taking it all in

"When you said we were going to come back to this beach, I'd assumed it was going to be when the weather was nice"

"Don't act like you don't want to have a fearless moment right now" he beamed at her as he lead her out of the car and down the boardwalk

"You know me so well" she said basically running behind as he dragged her

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance

In a storm in my best dress, fearless

As they swayed in the heavy rain and powerful wind Y/n realised that she wouldn't want to dance in her best most favourite dress with anyone else , he is also the only person she'd run through an airport for but that's a different conversation

It was a stupid thing to do and both parties knew it would probably lead to a cold in the following days , but they couldn't have cared less in the moment , cause when life starts to feel like a Taylor Swift song suddenly nothing else matters , and even if they did get sick Oscar had been meaning to catch up on some Netflix show anyway so it was a win win situation

After about 2 and a half minutes when the giggles and adrenaline had wore off and the cold and wind were starting to affect them , they made a run for the rental as they tried not to slip and tumble over curbs on the way

So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road

In this one-horse town, I wanna stay right here

Back roads had quickly became on of their favourite places and today was no different , they had to drive slower than usual due to the rain (top tips) but they didn't have anywhere to be so they could easily spend all day driving in circles round and round just basking in each others company

"Are you sure they can't just let you race exclusively in Portugal forever?" Y/n said looking out the window at the beautiful scenery

"You say this to every place we visit" he chuckled " we can always come back for summer break" he tried to bargain

"I will be holding you to that Piastri"

She said pointing an accusing finger at him

In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me

In this moment, now capture it, remember it

The sight of him looking at her with the utmost adoration, as they made their way back to the hotel because it was getting late , she knew she had to capture it and probably post it on her Instagram account later or just keep it to herself until his birthday or he did something worth celebrating either way she knew she needed to have a photograph of it

"No paparazzi" he said covering the lenses with his palm with the biggest grin on his face knowing it was such a bad joke but he said it everytime his girlfriend would try to take a video or photo of him

Well, you stood there with me in the doorway

My hands shake, I'm not usually this way

After a long day of being fools in love they arrived back at the hotel they had called home for the last few days . Y/n couldn't help but stare at the button up he was wearing and how he had the sleeves rolled up and the top couple buttons undone (an almost deathly combination to any woman)

"You know you don't have to stare at me until I make the first move ? You can just kiss me whenever" he half joked

But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave

Despite him saying that he was the first to make a move , but she was definitely the more eager of the two and desperately wanted out of those wet clothes one way or another

It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really somethin'

It wasn't the first kiss they shared or even the first of the day, probably the first in half an hour , but that didn't make it any less special and exciting as they stepped into the elevator and headed to their room

[3liza]

re: last reblog - saw a TikTok ad the other day of a zoomer lifestyle peddler visually coded as a Nonbinary Dirtbag Leftist (dyed ratty hair, conspicuous piercings, cheap punk clothing) attempting to sell me an ebook about how to elevate my class position by buying a turnkey business like a laundromat.

so, exploiting the poor. and I mean they aren't wrong, that's how you get class mobile. I don't think it's actually possible to run a business like that ethically and still make a profit. maybe I'm wrong. but it seems like every bit of the profit is extracted from a dependence upon the poverty of the clientele, eg, lack of access to home laundry, charging greater than cost for time, water, soap and cleanliness which are all human rights, hiring employees at minimum wage, etc. the entire basis of charging money for such an amenity is a process of creating waste also, it creates waste in travel from home to the Laundromat, it creates waste in putting a laundromat in a storefront where housing could be, it creates waste in handling money and bills for a business that isnt essential etc etc. and it's an economic coercion because clean clothes aren't something you can budget or cut down on, you basically have your clientele by the balls.

on the other hand I'm rapidly approaching a grinding surface in terms of either entering into one of these exploitative processes as a means-of-production owner, which would be accomplished purely through debt on my part, or having to withdraw to permanent poverty, and the third option is winning the lottery either literally or figuratively through an unforeseen inheritance, sudden recovery from illness, or getting popular on social media in a way that produces profit

I think the anarcho syndicalists are broadly correct in that small organization is the correct move, eg, I'm about to lead test my apartment water supply and do some other moves that I expect to use to lower my rent, but the bigger project would be to contact the other tenants and see if they'd be interested in essential a "hostile" acquisition of the building based on having it fail a bunch of inspections, which I absolutely think is possible.

I could see using a small syndicate of partners/friends to collectively purchase the laundromat as a co-op. but would the profit splitting make it not worthwhile? maybe we would recoup from not having to hire any employees and just taking the shifts ourselves. this is the classic American immigrant model and it's a classic for a reason. I would really hate trying to do all that horizontal organizing though (huge cost for me personally)

idk how any of those stuff works. my parents are from the managerial-intellegentsia officer class and are stupid about money from a weird combination of having too much of it and too little. the overeducated poor. food insecure people who get all the jokes on Frasier. extraordinarily weird class position, it's sort of like being in the circus or being a pickpocket. you can fool people into thinking you're wealthy when you aren't, which is why I'm so insane on here about grammar and spelling, because you don't know until you're actually on the other side of it how much your level of education affects your material existence, even if the education is DIY. I have been literally homeless for periods of time and have almost always been poor, and the amount of "skating by" you can do on good grammar and nice table manners is like a big secret no one tells you anymore because the boomers pretended they got rid of all that jive during the summer of love. people have gotten REALLY mad at me on here about this topic I think because they think I'm enforcing these cultural standards every time I try to teach people about them. I'm trying to warn you!!

think of it this way: how long is someone willing to let you stay in their coffee shop or diner or house if you're "acting poor", vs how long if you're charming and helpful and conscientious? if you're loud and using "low class" dialect vs if someone has at some point taught you to act fancy? this is extremely racialized obviously. I can't speak on that.

the communist coin op laundry could have a shuttle service and group wash nights where people can combine laundry to use the big washers and dryers for larger loads at lower total cost if they were willing to sort out their clothes at the end 😔

[dbnightingale24]

Pavlov’s Dog

A Ransom Love Story

~~

Part 1

~~

I don’t know why I’m like this, but here you all go. Another love story about everyone’s favorite asshole. I also got this done a lot faster than I thought I would, so I’m hoping to get part 2 out too. I’m also work on a Lloyd story though, so just be patient with me (I truly don’t know why I’m like this). 

Thank you @fuckingbye​ for my moodboard! It’s amazing, just like you!

Lets dive in, shall we?

Word Count: 38,754 words (look at me making a story that’s under 40,000+ words)

Warnings: SMUT (Minors DNI, 18+ ONLY) This whole damn story is a warning, honestly. Ransom (a walking warning), Drinking, Cheating, Talks of drug use, abuse, FLUFF, VERY Public Sex, Daddy kink, Family drama/issues, Angst, Crying, Depression, Lying, Heartbreak...I believe that’s it.

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: C’mon, Give It To Me

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~

“Ransom stop! We have to stop,” you moan as he continues to fuck you with two fingers.

“What for? I’m taking it easy on you, aren’t I?” he smirks against your neck before biting down on it.

“I’m married! I can’t...oh God, Ransom! I can’t...-”

“You didn’t seem to mind two nights ago when I fucked you until you couldn’t use your own legs, or the night before that when I fucked you on my balcony for everyone at the party to see,” he chuckles.

“Ransom!” you whimper, scratching at the kitchen fridge while your legs go weak at the memory.

“We don’t have to stop at all, baby. You just need to learn how to shut the fuck up,” he chuckles before nipping on your earlobe, “we haven’t been caught yet, so why stop?”

As always, you do what he says, because you can’t stop. You haven’t been able to stop since you two started this whole fucked up situation a year ago.

Ransom was someone you never thought you’d be in this position with. Technically, you’d known him forever because rich families tend to travel in the same circles, but you’d never actually spoken to or spent any time with him. Well, except for that one time, which really didn’t seem to stick for him.

When you were a kid, you clung to your parents out of anxiety and worry. Then, when you became a teenager, you stayed away because he and his friends had a reputation, as did his father, for being a womanizer. Over time, Ransom became the same way and you can only guess that after hearing some of the stories about his family, it’s really not something he needed to learn, it was basically a genetic code for the men in that family.

Like the whole ‘Pavlov’s Dog’ theory.

Ransom didn’t need to learn how to be a scum bag, he just was one. Whenever he saw a gorgeous woman, he simply went after her. Much like his father, his uncle, and his grandfather (when he was younger).

It was a family trait.

Yes, Harlan had tried to fix all the damage he’d caused before he died, but it was useless. Richard and Walt were set in their ways and they didn’t do much to hide it. Most of the men in the “rich family” group didn’t. No, your father didn’t cheat on your mother (much), but he put his hands on her; especially when he was drunk. So, he was still a piece of shit as far you were concerned.

However, none of this information ever made you look down on Ransom and his friends. You didn’t know them and you weren’t going to judge them because of your own feelings. You just stayed away. You didn’t do drugs, you didn’t party much, and you didn’t drink too much. Sure, you’ve been drunk a time or two, but not every damn weekend.

Even with the “girlfriends” that they had, you tried to be as pleasant as possible when you would cross their paths. You just wanted to stay out of sight and out of mind, but you never wanted to be rude about it. You had your small group of friends and a stable-ish relationship with your parents, so you were happy. You kept to yourself and minded your own business. You never spent more time doing more than you needed to with the people your parents associated with. The parents liked you because you were a good kid. You were polite, kind, did well in school, never seemed to ask your parents for anything, hard working, and you stayed out of trouble.

Your parents took pride in having the “perfect daughter”.

You think that’s what attracted your husband to you. His parents had always liked you, and your mother would constantly tell you how his mother wished he’d settle down with a girl like you.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised he hasn’t asked you on a date with how you dress,” your Mother scoffed. “You have a gorgeous body and you never show it off. You don’t attract anyone’s attention with how you dress.”

“I don’t want to attract anyone’s attention,” you sighed, annoyed that she’s made you feel pathetic and like a disappointment for the millionth time in your life. “I like my life as it is.”

“Alone?”

“Mother.”

“Anyway, Jack’s mother is constantly telling me how she wishes he’d find someone like you instead of all of the other little tramps he hangs out with-”

“Mom!”

“What? They are little whores,” she shrugs, sipping on her Blood Mary. “Half of them have already slept with half the husbands, then they go and fuck the sons. As long as they keep their getting money, it doesn’t matter to them. Anyway, he hangs out with that Ransom boy and that boy is never up to any good-”

“You don’t know that.”

“When did you become so damn naive?”

“I’m not naive, I’m just not going to pass judgement on people I don’t know. What right do I have? Everyone is capable of good and bad.”

“Not everyone.”

“Yes, everyone.”

“Give an example.”

“Dad loves me, gives money to good charities and schools, but still beats you and stays out too late with his friends. You’re a great and loyal friend, a great mom, but you still drink to try and forget that dad’s a piece of shit and you go driving while you’re fucked up. Everyone is capable of good and bad. Was that a good enough examples or should I keep going?” you questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

“Anyway,” your Mother scowled, “he’s around Ransom and all of his friends, so it makes sense that he never brings anyone favorable home.”

“Well, maybe his mom will get what she wants and he’ll find someone “decent” enough to settle down with.”

“Or, you can change up your look, and he’ll settle down with you,” your Mother smiled hopefully and you just rolled your eyes.

Honestly, it didn’t surprise you that your Mother was so desperate for you to be with Jack. Socially and financially, it was the perfect match. Your Father is one of the best doctors in the country, and his Father was a pretty successful Doctor. You made a name for yourself in your life of work, and Jack was successful in his own right. He’s handsome and you’re gorgeous.

It just worked.

However, a few weeks later, you found out the Jack’s parents weren’t the only ones who were keeping an eye on you.

“Have you noticed that Ransom Drysdale can never seem to take his eyes off of you?” your best friend, Daisy, questioned with a laugh.

“Huh? What do you mean?” you questioned, trying to get lost in your third Screwdriver.

If there’s one person in your life you trust above all others, and confide in more than anyone else, it’s Daisy. You and her have been thick as thieves since 5th grade, and there’s no one else you’d rather have by your side when shit gets rough. Yeah, she’s a party girl, but she’s loyal, hard working, and she enjoys quiet time just as much as you do. Her parents are just as bad as yours and that’s how you two bonded. It’s also the reason you stick up for all the party girls your Mother hates.

All of you were dealt the same hand, there’s no reason to hate anyone. The parents never felt the need to really spend time with their kids, cause that’s what the Nanny’s for, right? All the parents just passed their kids off to someone else when they could, then paraded them around during their birthdays or when they achieved something they deemed amazing. Whether it was making the honor roll, making the Varsity football team, or getting accepted into a top school, the parents would throw extravagant parties, while their kids would drink themselves into oblivion, get high out of their minds, or fuck until they were tired of it.

Everyone dealt with their shit in their own way, and Daisy made sure you didn’t give anyone shit for it, because you were all just trying to get by in a world where you all felt like no one actually gave a fuck about you. You were all just trophies for your parents to shine up and pay attention to every once in a while.

Anyway, your parents were throwing their annual Summer party and, somehow, you got roped into it.

“He wants to fuck you,” she laughed.

“What? No he doesn’t! He’s never even spoken to me!”

“News for ya babe: you don’t have to talk to someone to wanna fuck ‘em.”

“I’m not his type, stop it. You’ve seen the girls he brings to parties and charity functions. I do not fit into the category, at all,” you scoffed before taking another sip of your drink, looking over and seeing his eyes on you.

Along with Jack’s.

“I told you what my mom said; they’re probably just talking about me,” you shrugged.

“His eyes are on you even when he isn’t around Jack.”

“Dais-”

“I know you’re hard headed and don’t like to listen to anyone, but Drysdale has a thing for you and I feel like he always has, or...at least, wants to fuck you.”

“Yeah right,” you muttered before you finished off your drink.

You should’ve listened to her. God, you wish you would’ve listened.

It’s not like you had any reason to believe her though, because why would you? He’d never spoken to you, he’d never made it obvious that he’d taken any interest in you, and he never approached you. Hell, your parents had invited him and his parents to your birthday parties when you were kids, but he never showed up. You two had gone to the same schools up until college, but even when he came home for holiday break, he never even looked your way.

So why would you think he wanted anything to do with you? Why should you think that he or or Jack ever thinks of you?

Well, Jack proved that his mother’s word got through to him at some point.

“Ya know, you’re always at these things, but you never seem happy to be here,” Jack smiled as he made his way over to you.

“Oh...hi! Uh...yeah, ya know...family obligation and all,” you smiled awkwardly, not really sure why he was making conversation with you.

“Well, why not make a new friend while suffering through another family obligation?”

And that’s how it started.

In the beginning, Jack was sweet. So insanely sweet. He brought you flowers every other day, he was constantly making or taking you to dinner, he was funny, he cut back on partying, and he was always so interested in you. Constantly asking about your day, what made you happy, what irritated you, and what made you laugh.

He seemed like a dream.

It’s not like you’d never had a boyfriend and you were by no means a virgin, but Jack was a dream...at the time. Soon enough there was a proposal and you happily accepted, a home was purchased, there was talk of having kids, a wedding date was set, and your parents were thrilled. You were in love and everything you’d always wanted was finally falling into place.

However, Jack was a wonderful liar, you’ll give him that. He easily played the two faced card, and by the second year of your marriage, you’d finally figured it out.

“Jesus, enough with the bitching!” Jack slurred at 3am, after waking you up by knocking over a lamp in the bedroom.

“You’re never home! You’re always drunk, high, or both, and you’re fucking cheating!”

“Here we go with the fucking cheating allegations-”

“It’s a fucking fact! I smell them on you, there are lipstick stains on your shirt, the calls you step out of the room to answer-”

“Shut up! Your voice is annoying me and I have an early day at work,” he growled before getting into bed and falling asleep almost instantly.

After that, you tried. You tried to save what you thought was the perfect marriage. You made an effort to be more appealing; wearing tighter and more revealing clothes, giving him a blow job whenever he wanted, initiating sex, making his favorite meals, trying to have more date nights, but nothing seemed to work.

“Your husband is a piece of shit,” Daisy scoffed as she settled in bed next to you, at her house.

You and Jack got into another huge argument before he left to go out, and you were in no mood to be there when he got back.

“What did he do now?”

“Hit on me.”

“Daisy-”

“Don’t. Don’t be that woman. Don’t make excuses or try to explain it away. He’s a piece of shit and you know it. Leave his ass.”

“It’s my fault-”

“Stop it, no it isn’t. He’s always been a piece of shit and that didn’t change because the two of you said ‘I do’. He’s a liar and piece of shit. Don’t deny what you know for comfort,” she snapped.

It’s not like Daisy didn’t have a point. You’d figured out Jack was a piece of shit a year and a half into the marriage, but you pretended you could look the other way. If there’s no actual proof, then there’s no way he could be a cheater. You wanted to believe that you were living the life that no one else seemed to be capable of.

You wanted to believe that you got lucky.

Soon enough, trying turned into irritation, irritation turned into frustration, and frustration turned into regret.

“I don’t see the point in leaving him,” your Mother sighed as you two sat down for lunch. “Every marriage has its issues.”

“No offense, but I don’t want to end up like you and half the other women in the county.”

“Y/N, you’re not getting any younger and he’s not putting his hands on you. He’s got a good job, he has more than enough to keep comfortable and happy-”

“I have my own good job and good money on my own.”

“Just have a kid and-”

“You’re not listening me-”

“I am and you need to grow up, Y/N. You’re being a child. Do you know how lucky you are? You could have it so much worse. Suck it up and get over it,” she snapped before she finished her drink, which was her way of letting you know that the conversation was over.

So, you tried. You tried to keep your tears to yourself, you pretended that you didn’t care that he reeked of sex and other women when he came home, you made dinner and left him notes about his plate being in the fridge when he didn’t come home.

However, it didn’t seem to help anything. He was rarely ever home, and w[hen he was, he was either too fucked up or too annoyed to actually pay attention. You barely had sex with him anymore, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, cause it was rare that he ever got you off.

That was an issue before all the lying and cheating.

However, the more you tried, the more your spirit died.

“This isn’t like you, Y/N. This isn’t you at all,” Daisy sighed as as she got in her bed and cuddled up next to you; holding you close as you sobbed into her shoulder.

“My Mother said-”

“Your Mother is a miserable drunk. You know better than to listen to her.”

“She has a point, Dais. They’re a lot of people who have it worse than me.”

“Y/N, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. He’s an asshole who doesn’t know how good he has it, and you deserve to be with someone who does. Someone who will actually appreciate and love you.”

“It’s whatever at this point.”

“When did it get this bad? When did you just allow bullshit like this to happen?”

“I’m tired of fighting.”

“Do you love Jack?”

“Yes.”

“Enough to keep thinking this lowly of yourself?”

“No.”

“Then fucking leave him, Y/N. He’s useless and you’ll be just fine on your own.”

You knew that she was right, so you got the papers made up, and had planned to have a mature talk with him about it.

Planned.

“Can you not go out tonight? We need to talk,” you asked softly as Jack went to follow Ransom and friends out the door.

“Whatever it is can wait,” he scoffed.

“It really can’t.”

“Y/N, don’t start your shit-”

“I want a divorce, Jack. I’m tired of this shit and you clearly don’t care enough to get your shit together. I want a divorce,” you stated plainly, crossing your arms.

“Can you guys wait outside? I’ll be out soon,” he laughed incredulously.

Ransom looked you over before he and his friends made their way outside.

“What is it that you want, hmm?”

“To be in a functioning fucking marriage for one!”

“Jesus, you’re so fucking dramatic, Y/N. You want for nothing, I’ve never put my fucking hands on you-”

“The fact that you think that’s some big fucking win is a major problem.”

“I still come home to you, don’t I?”

“Do you fucking hear yourself right now?! Why keep doing this? Why not just be free to do whatever you want and leave me the hell alone?”

“Because I love you, Y/N-”

“Bullshit!” you laughed.

“Just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean it’s not love!”

“Jack, I’m tired of this shit. I have tried everything to make you happy and commit, like you fucking said you would in your wedding vows, and nothing has worked. I’m tired of being the only one who’s willing to make this marriage work. Just sign the damn papers.”

“You’re just not fucking thinking straight. You need a night cool down.”

“Jack-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” is all he said before storming out and slamming the door shut behind him.

You were determined to stand your ground, so you packed some of your clothes and went to Daisy’s house, and she was more than happy to take you in.

Shithead: Where the hell are you?

Y/N: Sign the papers.

Shithead: You’re being ridiculous.

Y/N: Can you not be difficult for once? Just sign the damn papers.

Shithead: I’m coming to get you, where are you?

Y/N: Can you please just sign the papers?

Shithead: Come home.

This kept up for two weeks; you begging Jack for a divorce and him begging you to come home. You did your best to be strong, with Daisy being your only real support system, but it could only last for so long.

“You need to go home to your husband,” your Mother sighed as soon as you two sat down for lunch.

“Stay out of it.”

“His Mother won’t stop calling me, telling me how miserable he is-”

“Then he should’ve kept his cock in his pants.”

“Y/N!”

“What? He’s a cheater, Mom! All he does is cheat on me and make me feel like I’m being unreasonable-”

“You are!”

“Do you ever take my fucking side?”

“I don’t care for your language!”

“And I don’t care for your attitude!” you snapped.

“You’re having lunch with your Father on Thursday.”

“I work, I can’t just-”

“Just don’t. He wants to have this lunch, he set up his schedule for work so he can meet you in the park, and you’re going.”

“And he couldn’t tell me himself because....?”

“You’re less inclined to give me the same attitude you’ll give him.”

“Fine.”

Needless to say, you two didn’t speak to each other for the remainder of that brunch, and you were already expecting your lunch with your Father to go bad.

It always did.

“So, what’s going on with you and Jack?” your Father asked, handing you a hot dog as you two resumed your stroll through the park.

“You know what’s going on with us.”

“Your Mother says-”

“Don’t. Don’t act like she doesn’t make me feel like shit and make me feel like I’m dumb. Like I’m asking for too much.”

“We just want you to have a good life.”

“You can’t honestly think I’ll have a good life with Jack. Jesus dad, I know you can be a piece of shit, but you have to know that a good life with Jack is not an option!”

“I’m not trying to start an argument, Y/N.”

“You’re also not trying to help anything!”

“It’ll make your Mother’s life a lot easier.”

“And what about my life?”

“Love will come again, Sweet Pea.”

“I can’t fucking believe this,” you scoffed before you finished the rest of your hot dog. “Both of you have got to be the worst parents.”

“Y/N-”

“How does me getting back with him make her life any better anyway?”

“You know the women at the country club talk. They’re bullies and they already give her shit about all the things she and I have been through-”

“So this is to fix all of the shit you’ve done wrong? That’s fucking rich.”

“Overall, she’s been a good mother, Y/N. All the best dance classes, being at every recital, being at every choir concert, every band concert, showing up to every soccer game, getting you the exact things you wanted for your birthdays-”

“Getting blackout drunk on my 16th birthday and making a fool out of herself and embarrassing me in front of my friends.”

“That was my fault and you know it.”

“So, once again, this is to fix all of the shit you’ve done wrong.”

“Y/N-”

“I have to think...all of this shouldn’t have to fall on me.”

“No, it shouldn’t, and I’m sorry, but-”

“Yeah, I know. I gotta get back to work. I’ll talk to you later,” you muttered, throwing out the wrapper that held your hot dog and walking off.

As much as you hated to admit it, your Father did have a point. For all the flaws that your Mother had, and there was a good amount, she always did her best to show up for you. If being trapped in a shitty marriage was going to make her life better, then you’d do it.

Against Daisy’s advice (as well as your own), you found yourself packing your things up and moving back into the prison you were supposed to call home. For the first few weeks, Jack seemed to have his shit together (though you weren’t buying it), and insisted upon having a vow renewal party.

And that’s when all of it started.

It was simple enough at first; people came over and congratulated the both of you, you two put on a show of pure and genuine happiness, had a dance, and Jack even did a toast to the both of you and the new chapter of your marriage.

It started out easy.

Then the drinks started flowing and Jack easily fell back into his old ways. Right in front of you. Your parents could see how upset you were getting and your Father even tried to calm Jack down a few times, taking him in a separate room to talk, but it was no use. Once Jack was fucked up enough, he didn’t care about anything except what he wanted and it didn’t help that his dickhead friends were egging him on.

Well, all of them except for Ransom.

His gaze stayed on you almost the whole time and it was intense. You felt like you couldn’t breathe and your skin was begging for just a touch of him. It also didn’t help that you’d been drinking whiskey for the last 2 hours, as a way of dealing with being publicly humiliated, and it was really starting to kick in. All you wanted was some sort of comfort, and the look Ransom was giving you was letting you know that he was more than willing to give that to you. You wanted to talk to Daisy, but she had refused to come (and you couldn’t even blame her), so you were just shit out of luck.

When you checked the clock and realized that it was only 10pm, you knew the party wasn’t anywhere near over. You grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and stormed off outside, deciding that time away from everyone is what would be best.

“I never knew you could drink so much,” a dark voice chuckled from behind you, causing you to jump.

“R-Ransom...hi,” you stuttered as you put the bottle down and moved over a bit on the stone ledge you’d been sitting on.

“You look pretty fucking miserable for someone who just renewed her vows.”

“Shouldn’t you be inside with Jack? You’re his best friend or whatever.”

“He’s too fucked up and he’s being annoying,” he shrugged as he took a seat next to you and grabbed the bottle of JD. “We’ve never really spoken before, thought I’d take the time to talk to you now.”

“Well, as much as I appreciate the kind gesture, I’m really in no mood to talk right now.”

“Why’d you take him back?” Ransom pressed on and you let out a heavy sigh.

“It’s complicated.”

“We’ve got time.”

“Ransom, not to be a complete cunt right now, but why do you care? You’re always out with him while he’s getting his dick wet in some other woman’s cunt, so why do you care?”

“It’s not like I encourage him to do it,” he shrugged before he took a drink from the bottle, “he’s a fucking idiot. He talked about making you his for the longest time. Now, he has you, and he treats you like shit.”

“Well, thanks for that bit of information,” you laughed humorlessly.

“So, why did you go back?”

“I told you, it’s complicated.”

“And I told you, we have time.”

“Ransom-”

“You are entirely too beautiful to be crying or married to an asshole like him. The reason must be something good.”

“Leave it alone,” you almost sobbed as you looked back over to him.

Before you could blink, Ransom was cupping your face and kissing you deeply. He was kissing you with more emotion than you’d ever felt. You knew you should’ve stopped him, but it felt so fucking good. Whether or not it was because of the alcohol or because of the lack of affection from Jack, it felt so good to have someone kissing you with so much passion and determination.

“Ransom...” you breathed as you two broke apart, “don’t.”

“You don’t wanna get back at him?”

“Why do you?”

“He took something precious from me, and I wanna return the favor,” he broods as he held your gaze.

You should’ve tapped out right then and there, but you needed some sort of comfort. You needed to hurt Jack the same way he’d hurt you so many times. Before you knew it, you were sneaking Ransom in and bringing him to the bedroom you shared with Jack, not caring if you got caught or not.

You just wanted to feel better.

“Ransom...don’t,” you moaned as he went to rip your dress. “My parents are still here.”

“You really are a good girl,” he chuckled before continuing to kiss down your body.

“I still have...gotta make sure I can go down there...”

“I’ll make sure you look presentable, baby. However,” he started as he hiked up the bottom of your dress, “since I can’t destroy this dress, I’m gonna destroy you.”

“Ransom-”

“Just hang on, baby,” he smirked before dipping down and sucking on your clit and pushing two fingers inside of you achingly slow.

“Jesus! Fuck...Ransom...”

“The way you taste...could stay in-between these legs all day,” he growled before resuming his assault on your clit and picking up his pace, as you gripped his hair and started to grind yourself against his face.

Yes, there was a part of you that wanted to stop, but you’d also never felt so fucking good. Even with your fingers and vibrator, neither could compare to what Ransom was making you feel.

“Ransom...fuck! Oh my God!” you whimpered, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

Yes, you were fine with Jack catching you, but not the entire fucking house.

“Shit! You’re so-fuck!” you cried out as he changed up and started to massage your clit with is thumb while easily fucking into your weeping cunt with his tongue. “Never felt this fucking good!”

You felt him smirk against your clit and you didn’t even care. You felt like you were heaven in heaven and he had every right to feel cocky.

“Not gonna last much...oh...yes...YES!” you cried out, as you came hard, your entire body tingling in delight.

“Never thought you’d be such a messy little thing,” Ransom chuckled after he cleaned up between your legs. “Can’t wait to see how much of a mess you make on my cock.”

“Ransom-”

“You’ve already opened up your legs for me, sweetheart. Might as well experience the whole ride,” he smirked before kissing up your dress.

In the moment, it’s not that you felt guilty, you were just afraid of not being able to keep quiet.

“You’re such a pretty little thing,” he cooed against the shell of your ear before he bit it.

“Shit!” you whimpered as you unbuttoned his pants and he pulled them down.

“Gonna fuck you so good. The way you should always be fucked,” he promised before thrusting himself inside of you.

“Fuck!”

“God, this pussy is better than I ever imagined,” he groaned, starting to pump into you hard and fast.

“So fucking full! Holy shit!” you cried out as you gripped his shoulders, trying to hold on for the ride.

“Never been stretched this good?”

“N-no, daddy!”

Whoops.

“Daddy?” he smirked, “You ever call him that?”

“He...he doesn’t deserve it,” you moaned, grinding your hips against his.

“Shit, Y/N!”

“So fucking close!”

“You need to cum, baby?”

“Please!” you pleaded pathetically.

“Such a good little girl,” he grunted with a smirk, “Asking permission...cum for daddy, baby,” he encouraged before he dipped down and kissed you passionately with just a hint of desperation.

Maybe it was because you were so damn drunk, or maybe it was because he made you feel better than you ever had, but you squirted hard. Something you’d never done before.

“You really are the messiest little thing, aren’t you?” he laughed as he pulled out, and you groaned in protest. “Oh, we’re not done, Sweet Thing. Get on your hands and knees for me.”

“Ransom-”

“Don’t worry, daddy isn’t gonna fuck that hole. At least not tonight. Just wanna put these these legs out of use.”

“Fuck.”

“Be a good girl, hands and knees,” he demands again before he slapped your inner thigh.

It was in that moment that you decided you’d do anything for Ransom Drysdale.

You were on your hands and knees in a matter of moments, completely forgetting that you’re in trapped in a bullshit marriage, and only focusing on the pleasure that he was giving you.

“Jesus, this fucking ass,” Ransom growled before he slapped it, “Jack is a fucking fool.”

“Daddy please!”

“I know, baby. Gonna make it so much better,” he husked before thrusting himself inside of you, again. “This fucking pussy! I swear to God!”

“Fuck me like I’m your whore,” you begged, “I fucking need it!”

“Haven’t even fucked you full of my seed and you wanna be my whore?”

“So fucking bad!”

“Should I call him in here so he can see how to really fuck you? So he can see that you’re mine now?”

“Do whatever you want,” you whimpered as his grip on you got tighter and he started to fuck you harder, “I just wanna please you!”

“God, you’re gonna make me fuckin' cum, sweet girl!”

“Cum deep in this pussy!”

“Is it mine?”

“Fuck! This pussy is all yours! Cum in it and claim it!”

“Fuck, Y/N!” Ransom husked as he filled you up.

“Jesus!” you screamed as you made a mess all over him and the bed.

Thank God the music was blaring .

You both stayed that way for a moment, both of you taking in what you had just done (you were sure more than him), before he slowly pulled out. You wanted more, but you knew enough damage had been done. Revenge, comfort, desire...you got what you needed and told yourself that was the only time it would happen.

“You comin back down, Sweet Thing’?” Ransom asked as he pulled his pants back on.

“In...in a little bit,” you sighed before you laid back on the bed.

“Gonna wanna fix that fuckin' dress before you do,” he chuckled before kissing the top of your forehead.

And with that, he left.

You told yourself that was the end of it. You had your fill (quite literally) and you wouldn’t do it again. You just wanted a taste of revenge, you didn’t want to live in it. When you went back downstairs, you ignored every glance Ransom threw your way, and ignored the fact that he left with the blonde Jack disappeared with earlier. You had your fair share of fun and you were done.

That’s what you told yourself.

When Jack came home late with lipstick stains on his collar a few nights later, you told yourself it didn’t matter. When you two got into a screaming match about him at least pretending to be decent, you let it go when he stormed out and didn’t return for the night. When the argument of you being on the pill came up and he almost slapped you, you told yourself it was no big deal. Why? Because the playing field was even now (as far as you were concerned). Yeah, Jack cheated almost all the time, but you cheated once. You cheated once and had the most amazing sex ever, so no more needed to be done. No, Jack didn’t know about it, but if he did, it would break him. That was enough for you.

Sure, Ransom came around, looked you over, gave you those eyes, but he never initiated anything. You were more than sure he knew you would never act on anything with him anymore, because that’s not who you were. In fact, you were sure that he knew that he was the only person to ever to get you to do something you absolutely loathed.

Which you is why you kept saying once was enough and you weren’t going to do it again, no matter how much you wanted to.

Still, a woman has needs.

“Ransom,” you moaned as you fucked yourself with your vibrator.

Yes, you were content with not fucking him again, but that didn’t change the fact that he fucked you better than you’d ever been fucked in your life.

“Fuck...fuck, yes! Don’t stop, Ransom!” you whimpered as you curled your toes.

“Miss me?” a deep voice questioned.

You froze almost instantly, leaving the vibrator on as you looked up, “what are you doing here?!”

“Game night,” he chuckled as he walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him, “Jack lost the bet so he has to host it.”

“You can’t be in here!” you whispered harshly.

“Why not? You clearly need me and it’s been so long. Keep going,” he shrugged as he undid his pants.

“Ransom-”

“Keep going,” he demanded as he started to stroke himself.

You were coming to find that saying ‘no’ to him was going to be something you wouldn’t be good at. You resumed fucking yourself with the vibrator, while he jerked himself off (only turning you on more); his eyes on you intensely.

“You miss daddy, baby?” he groaned as he started stroking himself faster.

You could only bring yourself to nod.

“He’s not fucking you right?”

“He never does.”

“You want me?”

“We can’t,” you moaned as your pussy clenched around your vibrator.

“Why not?”

“Ransom-”

“Suck that vibrator dry, then I’m gonna fuck you senseless.”

“We can’t-”

“Do what I said or you’re gonna be in for a long night.”

You truly wanted to say no, but he’d made you feel so good, and you missed that. You missed feeling desired.

You missed being wanted.

You slowly removed the vibrator from your already soaked cunt with a whimper, before bringing it up to your lips and licking it with the tip of your tongue.

“Never thought you could be such a dirty little thing,” he husked, and you knew he was close.

You kept your eyes on him as started suck on the vibrator, and couldn’t help but smirk when you saw one of his legs almost give out. Yeah, Ransom was a player, but in that moment, he was a puddle for you. It didn’t matter what any other woman made him feel, cause in that moment, he was showing you just how much of an effect you were having on him.

When you took the whole damn thing in your mouth, Ransom came hard on the bed and it just made you that much more desperate. You whined as you cleaned off the last bit of your slick and opened your legs for him.

Before, you could have blamed it all on alcohol and said that you only let Ransom fuck because you were drunk and upset, but in this moment? You were completely sober and you wanted him. You wanted him more than you’d ever wanted anyone.You knew you’d feel bad about it tomorrow, but for now, you just wanted Ransom and he wanted you.

“Let daddy see,” he demanded as he kicked his boxers and pants off.

You took the vibrator out of your mouth as you started to massage your clit with two fingers.

“Such a good girl,” he chuckled before dipping down, moving your fingers out of the way, and licking your clit before he started kissing up your body.

“Ransom, we have to be quiet,” you moaned as he started kissing up your body.

“Take off this fucking shirt.” “Ransom-”

“Take it off, I wanna see all of you.”

“We have to be quiet,” you repeated as you took your shirt off.

“These tits are fuckin' perfect,” he growled as he aligned himself with your entrance.

“Ransom-”

“Yeah yeah, we gotta be quiet,” he grumbled before he thrust himself inside of you, “so don’t scream too loud for daddy.”

“Fuck!”

“Quiet down, Sweet Thing’,” he chuckled before he kissed passionately.

You’d never had an affair before, and you never thought you’d have one. You always imagined that the person you’d end up with would be your knight in shining armor, but now? Jack was always doing whatever the fuck he wanted, so why couldn’t you? Why were you denied your little bit of fun?

“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamt of having you like this again?” Ransom husked as he sat up and gripped your hips, “made me wait two fucking months to make you feel as good as you deserve!”

“All you had to do was ask,” you moaned as you clawed at his clothed chest, arching your back a little.

“Yeah? This pussy is mine whenever I want?”

“I’m yours whenever you want,” you whimpered as you felt your release coming on.

In the back of your mind, you knew you shouldn’t be saying things like that to him, but it was so hard to think straight when he was making you feel so good,

The man fucked like a god.

“What about Jack?”

“What about him?”

“He doesn’t matter anymore?”

“Ransom, do you wanna fuck me or do you wanna talk about my failed ongoing marriage?”

“You’re right, baby. Lets make the most of this,” he laughed before fucking into you relentlessly.

From that point on, you and Ransom fucked whenever you could. He always sought you out, but you never turned him away. You were always eager and desperate for him and he was always eager to give you what you wanted. Whether it was being fucked like a slut, or being fucked in a slow and passionate nature, he always delivered. It started out with him only seeking you out at parties and sneaking into the bedroom when he was at the house for whatever reason, but soon enough, he got your number (probably by getting it off of Jack’s phone), and was demanding you come over in the middle of the night.

That’s when things started getting tricky.

Ransom was infamous for kicking women out of bed, yet he never kicked you out. You’d heard stories of how he’d kicked women out, in nothing but their underwear (if he hadn’t destroyed it), but there were times when you’d wake to his arm wrapped around your waist and him holding you close. Outside of sex, you and Ransom didn’t say two words to each other, but nonetheless, the small gesture tugged at your heart. You couldn’t remember the last time Jack was affectionate with you in public or in private.

However, it also started to get tricky because Jack finally started noticing.

“Where were you?” Jack asked as you toed your shoes off at 7am.

“I went for a drive.”

“All night?”

“There’s not much incentive for me to stay home, is there?”

“Y/N-”

“What happened to your little trinket from last night? I woke up at 2am and you still weren’t home.”

“I actually did have to work late last night,” he sighed and you rolled your eyes.

Ransom had been out with him the night before and told you to come over because Jack was fucked up and had his face buried in some stripper’s cunt, and he wanted to bury his face in yours.

“Whatever.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Don’t fucking ‘sweetheart’ me. I’m taking a shower and then I’m off to work.”

“You know I love you, Y/N.”

That had you laughing so hard you almost fell over.

“Thanks for that, I’m gonna go and start my day now,” you breathed before you made your way upstairs.

After that, you told Ransom that you both needed to stop. You were married and it was wrong, but it’s not like Ransom gave a shit about right or wrong. His new favorite activity was fucking you and he didn’t understand why he needed to stop.

“Why should I have to give you up?” he groaned as you rode him. “He doesn’t even deserve you.”

“He’s starting to notice, daddy. Don’t want...don’t...shit!”

“My gorgeous girl is fuckin’ herself stupid, huh?” he chuckled as he sat up and starting massaging your tits.

“Shit!”

“Cause you’re my pretty girl, right? You’re mine?”

“Ransom...”

“You’re mine?”

“Yes daddy,” you whimpered, wrapping your arms around him and kissing him passionately.

And that was that. Ransom had no intention of letting you go and you didn’t want him to.

“Lets go upstairs,” he whispers as he continues to fuck you with his fingers.

“My parents are here, Ransom. I can’t!”

“Baby, I missed you!”

“You just saw me two nights ago!”

“I wanna see you every fuckin’ night!”

“You know we...Ransom, I’m so fucking close!”

“I know you are, sweet girl...pussy is squeezing my fingers so fuckin’ tight!”

“Oh daddy!”

“Did you miss me, baby? Did you miss me fucking you stupid?”

“You know I...you know I did!”

“I want you in my bed tonight, Sweet Thing.”

“I can’t-”

“Daddy doesn’t like that answer,” he taunts before biting down on the sensitive part of your neck.

“Oh my fuck!”

“Tell daddy what he wants to hear.”

“I can’t-”

“Still not what I wanna hear,” he mumbles as his free hand starts to undo his pants, “you daddy want to fuck you right now? In this kitchen, where anyone can come in and see?”

“Ransom!”

“Tell daddy what he wants to hear,” he demands hotly as he starts to grind his hard cock against your ass .

“Fuck! I’ll...I’ll come by tonight...I can’t stay!”

“We’ll see about that,” he laughs darkly, “now be a good little whore and cum for me. Get it all over the fuckin’ floor!”

“Shit!” you cry out as quietly as you can, squirting hard, happy to be pressed up against the refrigerator so you don’t fall.

“Such a good girl for me, baby,” he praises, kissing your neck as he removes his two fingers. “Clean daddy off so we can go back out there.”

You turn around and take his fingers into your mouth, never breaking eye contact with him, as your tongue licks and massages his fingers, making sure to get all of your essence off of him.

“You sure I can’t sneak you upstairs?”

“Ransom, I have to go out there. It’s my anniversary party,” you chuckle after he removes his fingers and you straighten out your dress.

“He’s the asshole for throwing a party instead of taking you out.”

“He’s expecting sex tonight.”

“Do not fuck him,” Ransom demands as he zips up his pants.

“Ransom-”

“That pussy belongs to me and me only.”

“He’s my husband and it’s our wedding anniversary.”

“What did I say?”

“He’s my husband, Ransom.”

“Then he should fucking act like it.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“Because I like you and he doesn’t deserve you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Oh, trust me, I know you,” he chuckles before cupping your face, “don’t fuck him tonight.”

“Ransom-”

“Want me to throw you over my shoulder and remind you why you shouldn’t?”

“Stop it,” you giggle.

Ransom kissed you passionately and pulled you close, “don’t fuck him tonight, baby,” he begs breathlessly as you two break apart.

“You still fuck whoever you want.”

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite.”

“Ransom,” you laugh.

“Just don’t do it, okay?”

“Fine, get back out there.”

“You?”

“I’ll go upstairs the back way and be down in a few minutes.”

“Sounds good,” he smirks before kissing you then making his way back out.

You’re not stupid. You know that Ransom isn’t in love with you, but that doesn’t change the fact that he makes you feel all of the things Jack hasn’t over the last few years. Besides, if you’re doomed to be miserable like every other wife in the area, you may as well get your kicks where you can.

When you reach the bedroom, you clean yourself up and look yourself over in the mirror. When all of this started, you were ashamed of yourself, but now? There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re playing the same game Jack is.

Except you’re better at it.

When you get back downstairs, you can tell it’s gonna be easy to tell Jack ‘no’ and leaving him to his own devices. He’s high as a kite and drunk off his ass.

“There you are!” he drunkenly exclaims as he stumbles over to you. “Where’d you go?”

“To freshen up,” you mutter, pushing him off of you as you feel your Mother’s gaze on you.

“What do you say we wrap this night up early?”

“And do what?”

“The thing we haven’t done for a while,” he smirks suggestively and you scoff. “What?”

“You’re a little too...tuned up for that right now.”

“Can you not be a bitch on our fucking anniversary?” he scowls.

“You need to sleep it off.”

“Y/N,” he growls as he grips your wrist, tight, “stop fucking denying me.”

“Let me go, now.”

“I want you tonight and you’re gonna-”

“Everything okay over here?” Ransom asks, his leggy blonde date following right behind him. “Hey man!” Jack exclaims, letting go of your wrist and wrapping Ransom in a sloppy hug.

Yeah, it’s definitely time to wrap this fucking party up.

“Why don’t you call it a night?”

“The party is just getting started!” Jack laughs, still holding on to Ransom because standing on his own is now an issue.

“Not for you,” Ransom mumbles as he helps him up the steps.

As you start making your rounds, thanking people for coming and all that fun stuff, you feel your Mother’s stare from across the room and it makes your skin crawl. The only reason you stayed with Jack was to make her happy in the first place. You didn’t need to hear any of her judgemental comments or snide remarks. When everyone is finally gone, you start to pick up some of the plates and glasses, and make your way into the kitchen; your Mother on your heels.

“You could’ve hired-”

“I didn’t want to,” you interrupt harshly.

“You have to stop,” your Mother sighs.

“Stop what? Cleaning? No thanks, I-”

“Stop sleeping with Ransom.”

For just a moment, your breath hitches, but you bounce back quick with, “you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes I do. I’ve been married longer than you have, I’ve been in a miserable marriage longer than you have, I-”

“I’m not you.”

“He’s never going to commit to you and you’re just going to get hurt.”

“Stop.”

“How long has it been going on?”

“Ma-”

“How long?”

“You need to drop it. You don’t know anything-”

“What do you think is gonna happen? What? He’s gonna save you from this marriage? You think he’s gonna commit?”

“What is your problem?!” you snap, finally giving her your full attention. “Did you see what I just had to deal with?! What I’ve been dealing with?! Isn’t it enough that I’m staying in this marriage for the family?! For you?!”

Your mother lets out a heavy sigh before leaning against the counter, “it won’t always be like-”

“Did you miss the bruise on his mother’s face? The concealer did a good job, but not good enough. When does it get better? What? You think that because dad got tired of putting his dick in every other whole so often, that I’ll be fine as long as I wait this out till I’m 50?”

“I know you hate this,” she sobs softly, “and I know you hate us for asking this of you, but it gets better. Quit your job, join the-” “I don’t want to join anything! I don’t want to quit my job-”

“It’ll make all of this easier! It’ll help ease his bruised ego-”

“Do you hear yourself right now?! Do you hear how pathetic it all sounds?!”

“Honey, it’s not a bad life-”

“I need to keep some part of me that is me. I’m not you. I can’t just wrap myself in someone and make them my entire personality. I can’t and I don’t want to. I saved you from a scandal by not going through with the damn divorce, I don’t know what you want from me!”

You hear how awful you sound, and while you feel bad, it’s not enough to make you take back what you said. You’re in misery because it’ll help your family avoid more shame that you were never responsible for in the first place. It’s not lost on you that Ransom isn’t going to whisk you away from this hell and make everything better, and you’ll would never expect him to. However, Ransom is the only person who has made you feel something other than pain and sadness. Yeah, there’s Daisy, but it’s not the same. You know that she’s your best friend and you know she means well, but she makes you feel bad for staying. She says that she understands, but it’s not like you to not have any fight in you.

Yeah, you know she’s right, but you don’t need anyone’s help in making you feel any worse. Almost every other day, she’s asking when you’ll leave Jack, and it doesn’t even help that she can’t suck it up for a day and just be there for you when you have to put up with mundane bullshit like you did today. You love her, and you know she’s looking out for you, but she’s someone else who wants something of you. Demands more of you.

Being with Ransom is easy because all he wants is sex. He makes you feel amazing, he looks at you as if he adores you, and for just a moment you’re able to forget about everything that hurts and frustrates you. Somehow, being with Ransom has become the only part of your life that isn’t complicated and stressful. The most hes ever asked is what your favorite kind of porn is, which is how you ended up getting fucked senseless on his balcony while there was a party going on.

“Jack is gonna find out and it’s gonna get messy,” your Mother sniffs, quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“There’s nothing to find out.”

“Y/N-”

“Please, it’s been a long night and I’m tired. Just go home and drop it.”

“You’ll see,” is all she says before walking out.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you lean against the kitchen sink.

This is all your fault. Its gotta be. You were so naive when you were younger. Giving every one the benefit of the doubt, believing the best of everyone even when it was obvious that you shouldn’t have, ignoring all of the things you’d heard about Jack because they were only rumors...you could’ve avoided this by being an asshole just like everyone else.

“He’s asleep,” Ransom sighs as he makes his way into the kitchen, “wanna just come over with me?”

“What happened to your date?” you laugh, shaking your head as you look away from him.

“Left at some point,” he shrugs, walking over to you, “come with me.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s your anniversary and they’re a few gifts I wanna give you.”

“Ransom!” you scowl with a soft chuckle.

“I can stay here tonight if that’s easier for you.”

“What did Jack take from you that caused you to start an affair with his wife?”

Ransom looks you over before cupping your face, “don’t worry about it,” he almost whispers before dipping down and kissing you passionately.

You’re grateful that you two are pressed up against the kitchen sink, because as always , your knees go weak and you know it’s the only thing keeping you upright.

“I can’t stay tonight,” you breathe softly once you two break apart.

“What’s the point in coming back here?”

“Ransom-”

“Just leave with me.”

“Give me an hour or so, I’ll be there,” you promise with a small smile.

All he does in response is give you another soul stealing kiss before leaning his forehead against yours, then leaving.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?

You slowly and quietly make your way upstairs to your bedroom and let out a heavy sigh once you get to the doorway. You sit on the edge of the bed and look over at your husband (who is snoring rather loud).

Once upon a time, you would’ve felt bad about all of this. You could see in his eyes that he truly was hurt that you didn’t want to give yourself to him tonight, but what the hell did that mean to you? You had tried your hardest to make the marriage work, and he wanted nothing to do with you. Hell, he’s still going out and fucking around, but his half ass attempts at showing you an ounce of affection are supposed to change everything thats happened after all this time?

“Y/N,” he calls in his sleep as he turns over, “Y/N...I love you...love you so much,” he sighs before his snoring resumes.

There was a time that, that would’ve pulled at your heartstrings, but now? Now, there’s nothing. This marriage is just an obligation to you at this point. Jack won’t raise hell, your parents don’t have to deal with anymore shit, and you?

Well, there are worse things in life.

You change out of your outfit and into one of the Spring dresses Ransom loves you in (even though it is still a bit nippy outside), grab your car keys and phone, and head out the door to Ransom’s.

Ransom.

You know your Mother is right. He’s not going to magically make everything okay for you away and give you the life you thought you’d have, but for now, what he has to offer you is enough. You’re still not sure what exactly drew him to you, but you know you want it to last as long as possible. You can’t help but find it funny that Ransom is keeping you around for so long. From what Daisy has told you, Ransom doesn’t stick to one partner, and if he does, he makes sure to let her know that she isn’t special or the only one. But with you?

He’s not the same guy at all.

He wants you to stay, he’s possessive, he tells you (all the time) that you’re the best fuck hes ever had, and he tells you just how much he hates Jack for not taking care of you (only while fucking you of course). You’ve tried to stop whatever the hell you two are doing multiple times, but he won’t stand for it. The fact that he gets so pissed about your own husband fucking you speaks volumes, as far as you’re concerned.

But speaks to what?

You do your best to not think about it, because it’ll only drive you insane. You don’t know why he’s so possessive and that’s another reason you want to stop. During sex, you’re able to pretend that you’re not married and not doing anything wrong, well...when he isn’t bringing up what an ignorant piece of shit Jack is, you’re able to pretend, but after? When he holds you, plants feverish kisses up and down your neck, tells you that you need to leave Jack, strokes your arm until you fall asleep with your head on his chest....why? What’s the point of it?

No, he hasn’t said that there’s nothing special between you, but hes shown it. It’s not like he’s stopped with his threesomes and partying, you could hear him when he would take calls in the other room to let whoever know that he wouldn’t be fucking them that night, he showed up with dates (sometimes multiple) at every event he bothered to show up to, and he never text you outside of wanting sex from you. None of it makes any sense to you.

Yet, here you are, outside his house and knocking on his door, because you can’t fucking quit him.

“You have a key,” he growls as he picks you up and kicks the door shut.

There’s also that.

“Wasn’t sure if anyone else was here.”

“When I tell you to come over, know that you’re the only one I’m giving my time and attention to. You are always on my mind,” he husks as he pins you against the door and kisses you like he hasn’t seen you in months.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

“You need me, baby?” he smirks as you start to grind yourself against him.

“You know I do, daddy!”

“You looked so beautiful tonight, but this dress? You know what it does to me.”

“Wanted to look my best for you, daddy!”

“Tell me you’re gonna stay tonight,” he demands before assaulting your neck with kisses.

“You know I can’t,” you whimper, trying to remember exactly why you can’t stay over (even though they’re honestly so many reasons).

“Sweetheart-”

“I have a job, daddy! I can’t...fuck, please fuck me!” you beg as you feel your release coming on.

“Look at that, haven’t even gotten your clothes off, and you’re already begging me,” he taunts against your neck, and you feel his smart-ass smirk.

“Daddy, please!”

“Daddy’s gonna take care of you, baby. Especially since that other asshole can’t, and on your anniversary of all days,” he tuts.

Yeah, Ransom is sick, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t get you off. He loves bringing up that Jack is piece of shit, and you love when he does. It’s nice to hear someone besides you acknowledge it.

Ransom takes his time pulling you apart, loving the way you beg him for more and telling him that no one has ever made you feel as good as he does. Yeah, he loves your body and loves fucking you senseless, but you know that’s one of his major kinks. For whatever reason, he needs to hear you tell him that he’s a better lover than Jack. He needs it the way people need oxygen. Whatever happened between him and Jack has made him desperate for gratification from you. At this point, you’re sure you’ll never know, but why should it matter at this point? You both take what you need from each other, and then go your separate ways.

Whatever their issues are,are between them.

“Ya know,” Ransom starts as he lights his cigarette, “I think you wore that  dress cause you knew I wouldn’t rip it.”

“You’re not wrong,” you laugh as you lay your head on his chest.

The amount of times you’ve had to lie about where your dresses have disappeared to, and have had to hide the clothes that Ransom sends you home in is starting to become an issue.

“Call out tomorrow.”

“Stop it, Ransom,” you sigh, sitting up.

“What? Call out and stay here tonight.”

“Why do you always want me to stay here?”

“I like falling asleep next to you,” he shrugs before taking a drag from his cigarette.

“I’ve gotta get back,” you mutter, ignoring how happy his little statement makes you.

“Why, Y/N? What are you so desperate to get back to?”

“I’m not desperate for anything and you know that. However, at the end of the day, I’m still married to Jack, your best friend. I can’t just stay out all night.”

“One,” he sighs as he sits up and wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you close to him, “he isn’t my best friend. Two, he stays out all night, why can’t you?”

“It’s what expected of him, not me.”

“Don’t you get tired of making everyone else happy, but being miserable the whole time?”

“Ransom, please don’t-”

“Call out,” he encourages as he kisses you shoulder.

“Stop it, you know I can’t,” you moan, trying to hold on to the little bit of resolve you have left.

“You can do whatever you want, baby,” he presses as he ashes his cigarette, “and I know you wanna stay with me.”

“Ransom, don’t. You know-”

“I know you’re not happy,” he interrupts as he ashes his cigarette, “I know that being here with me is when you’re happiest,” he continues before trailing kisses all along your collar bone.

“Ransom-”

“Tell me the truth,” he begs pathetically, as his hand travels between your legs, finding that bundle of nerves that always makes you come alive for him.

“I...I...”

“You want me over him, don’t you?”

“Don’t-”

“Tell me the truth, Y/N. Right now, you need me more than you need him?” he questions as he picks up his pace.

“Fuck! Yes! I need...need you so much, Ransom!”

“There’s my good girl,” he chuckles before pushing down and straddling you, “gonna make you forget all about the piece of shit husband of yours,” he promises as he thrusts himself inside of you.

Ransom gets his way (as always), because after the last session, you’re in no condition to drive anywhere, let alone in any mood. As you settle against him, your head on his chest, you faintly hear him saying something, but you’re too exhausted to ask him what he’s saying. Instead, you drift off to him gently stroking your back, pretending this is how your life always is.

Pretending you’re always this content.

**

“You okay? You seem a little flustered,” your assistant, Danielle, notes as she drops off more files for you.

“I’m fine,” you lie with a shy smile, “I just feel flustered because I was a little late today.”

“You’re much farther along than planned,” she laughs as she goes to exit the room, “plus, last night was your anniversary. I’m sure that’s a fair reason for you to be a little late,” she smirks and you laugh. “Just don’t forget to breathe,” she laughs before exiting your room.

‘Don’t forget to breathe.’

You laugh harder than you mean to, because you feel like you haven’t been able to breathe since you left Ransom’s this morning.

When your alarm went off this morning, Ransom groaned and protested, telling you that missing a day of work wouldn’t be bad for you. Much to his dismay (and yours), you held strong and told him that you had to go. Besides the fact that you had been out all night, you know that you need to stop whatever the hell is going on between you and Ransom.

So, as a form of protest, he teased you until you were desperate to ride his face, which then resulted into him fucking you senseless for an hour.

You were an hour and a half late for work.

However, the real reason you’re so flustered, is because you don’t understand Ransom, at all. He doesn’t want commitment, he doesn’t do love, and he doesn’t do loyalty. Hell, he’s happily sleeping with his best friend’s wife, but you’re supposed to believe that he’d actually commit to you full time?

There’s no way you’d ever let yourself believe that. You let yourself give Jack the benefit of the doubt, and look how that’s going.

So, instead of dealing with any of your thoughts, you decide to work your ass off instead, because you need something besides your current drama filled life to focus on.

“Shit, you really do work your ass off,” Ransom chuckles causing you to jump.

“Ransom! What...you can’t be here!” you whisper as he closes the door.

“Why not?”

“Ransom-”

“Relax, sweetheart. Not gonna fuck in here...just yet,” he smirks as he takes a seat in front of your desk, “I figured you could use a lunch break.”

“What?”

“Well, I know I ate breakfast this morning-”

“Ransom!”

“But you didn’t,” he laughs. “Clearly, you didn’t go home, so you didn’t make yourself a lunch. So lets go out and get something to eat.”

“I can’t just-”

“You’re not a robot, sweetheart. You need to eat.”

“Ransom...why?”

“You said the other night that I don’t know anything about you, and while that’s far from the truth, I realized that you don’t really know anything about me.”

“Ransom-”

“I like you, Y/N. You know how often I beg someone for anything? How often I let a woman stay the night? Never. I like you and I’m pretty damn sure you like me.”

“Sex doesn’t equal affection.”

Ransom just laughs and shakes his head before saying, “lunch is just a meal, darlin’. I don’t plan on fucking you on the table, unless you beg me to, so I don’t see the harm in any of it.”

“Ransom.”

“It’s just lunch,” he repeats.

Why can’t you ever tell him no?

“I only have an hour for lunch,” you mutter with a frustrated sigh.

“You can take a little longer than that.”

“Ransom-”

“Sweetheart, you’re never late to work. You’re allowed to have an off day.”

“And how would you know?”

“I’ve been keeping tabs on you.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he smirks as he gets up, “I like you.”

Against your better judgement, you get up and grab your jacket, before following him out of the building with everyone’s eyes on the both of you. Ransom has a reputation, so it only make sense that everyone is wondering what the fuck you’re doing with him. At his insistence, you ride along with him in his Beamer to wherever the hell hes decided you two should eat at for lunch. The car ride is silent, mainly because you don’t know what to say and Ransom loves how uncomfortable you are, but a small gasp leaves your mouth when he pulls up to the restaurant.

No, it wasn’t anything fancy, but it definitely wasn’t necessarily cheap.

“Ransom...you don’t...we can go someplace else.”

“Just think of this as our first date,” he laughs as he shuts off the engine. “Besides, seafood is your favorite, isn’t it?”

“Ransom, if anything, this is an early dinner and I have to get back to work-”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do?”

“I told your job that I want you in charge of the changes we’re making to the look of the publishing company.”

“No...Ransom, you didn’t! Jack-”

“Won’t suspect a fucking thing because he’s an idiot. Plus, this is a business lunch or dinner since I’ve already hired you.”

“You don’t even know-”

“I imagine you’re paid so well and so high up in the company for a reason, right?”

“Ransom, I-”

“I have faith you’re not gonna fuck this up. So, stop stressing, and lets go eat, okay?”

It’s more of a demand than a request, but you follow his lead nonetheless and follow him into the restaurant, fighting the urge to hide into yourself as you’re both seated. Ransom’s gaze on you is invasive and you do your absolute best to avoid it as you look around the restaurant.

Why the fuck did you agree to this?

“Welcome to Fish, my name is Jonathan and I’ll be your server tonight,” the waiter smiles at the both of you as he approaches the table, “can I start you both off with drinks?

“I’ll have a water-”

“She’ll have a Mai Tai and I’ll have a bourbon on the rocks,” Ransom interrupts with an irritated sigh.

“Coming right up,” the waiter smiles before walking off.

“Ya know, we’re not going to get anywhere if you’re tense the entire time,” he mutters as he looks over his menu.

“I don’t know exactly know what it is that you want from me.”

“Would it helped if I fucked you in the bathroom?”

“Stop it, Ransom!” you snap quietly as he lets out a full bodied laugh.

“Jesus, it’s just drinks, food, and conversation. Relax.”

“Says the one who isn’t married. How the fuck do you even know you like me?”

“I’ve liked you for a while.”

“Yeah okay.”

“I mean it.”

“How long is a while, Ransom?”

“Remember in first grade? When Tommy Smotts was picking on me about my clothes?”

“You...you remember that?”

“I think about it every day.”

“You never said anything...you never spoke to me.”

“Why would I? You were nice and, in the world we live in, there’s no room for nice people. I kept waiting for you to turn into this bitchy party girl, like every other girl did, but you just kept being sweet and kind. Then you met Jack.”

“If you liked me, why didn’t you say anything? Why’d you let Jack scoop me up?”

“Why not? It wasn’t my business or concern. You’re both adults and capable of making your own choices-”

“But you wanted me and, from what I’ve heard, you’re the king of getting what you want.”

“You’re different.”

“How so?” you ask as the waiter places your drinks down.

“Can I start you two off with some appetizers?”

“No, but keep the drinks coming. We’ll be here for a while,” Ransom smirks, his eyes never leaving you.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into now?

**

“He’s such a liar! That’s not what happened at all!” you laugh as your next round of drinks are brought out.

“That’s what Jack said!” Ransom laughs.

“He’s a fucking liar! That’s not what happened at all! He locked us out of the Air BnB because he’s hard headed, then talked me into scaling the side of the house because he was afraid he’d fall and break something.”

“You scaled the side of a house for him even though it was his fault?”

“In my defense, I was in love,” you shrug as you take a sip of your drink.

“So, what do you know about me?” Ransom asks as he sits back a little, signature smirk playing on his lips.

“I don’t know anything about except that you like to fuck.”

“What have you heard about me?” he chuckles.

“A lot of unkind things.”

“I can take it.”

“You’re a scumbag, you only lookout for yourself, you’re a cheater, a liar, you have a terrible temper, you had a hand in Harlan’s murder, you treat women like trash....the list goes on.”

“Yet, you chose to start this relationship with me.”

“It’s not a relationship, Ransom. We fuck and that’s it.”

“Then why do you stay whenever I tell you to?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for the last few months.”

“Because you like me too.”

“I like the way you fuck me.”

“You’re still gonna hide behind that after everything?”

“I’m not hiding from anything, Ransom. I’m married to someone else, and in all honesty, this shouldn’t have ever started.”

“Then why did you let it start?”

“You caught me in a vulnerable state.”

“And the second time?”

“You caught me in a vulnerable state,” you smirk and he laughs.

“Well, what do you want to know?”

“Why you want me.”

“I like you.”

“Ransom, that’s not a fucking reason.”

“It is for me. I’ve never been infatuated with someone for this long, it only makes sense that I should act on it, don’t you agree?”

“It wasn’t enough for you to stop the wedding.”

“That’s what you think.”

“Ransom-”

“I like you, Y/N. I like you a lot and more than I should. I’m not going to tell you to leave him, because it’s not enough for you is it? I don’t want to commit and you don’t wanna commit to me because you have no reason to.”

“Ransom-”

“But you’re still here though, aren’t you?”

“So what?”

“You want to explore this as much as I do.”

“I don’t want to explore anything with you, Ransom,” you sigh as your phone starts going off. “Jesus Christ.”

“You can answer him.”

“I don’t want to answer him. God, how is this my life now?”

“You can always come with me.”

“Ha ha,” you mumble before taking a long sip of your drink. “It’s late, I have to get back.”

“We haven’t eaten yet.”

“What is this Ransom? Why are you fucking with me?”

“I’m not, I told you; I like you.”

“You don’t-”

“You love to dance around while you cook, you think pants are ridiculous and that’s why you’re always wearing dresses and skirts, you love horror movies but have to watch something funny after or you can’t sleep, you love football and baseball, you’ll listen to anything but you favor 90’s grunge, you spend the first half of your Saturdays watching cartoons, you spend most of your holiday time volunteering at shelters, should I go on?”

“...how...”

“I pay more attention than you think, sweetheart. That crystal blue earring and necklace dragonfly set Jack got you for your two year anniversary? That was my idea because he doesn’t pay any fucking attention to you and doesn’t have a fucking clue what you like,” he mutters, frustration very apparent.

“Then why didn’t you say anything before now?”

“I told you why.”

“And I don’t believe you.”

“Y/N-”

“You’re the one that wanted to do this. Answer the question.”

“I just...”

“You just what?”

“You were never gonna give me a chance, Y/N. Between my reputation, my shitty family...you have more reasons to say no than yes.”

“You didn’t even try.”

“What would you have said?”

“Then? I honestly don’t know. Now? No.”

“Why no now?!”

“Ransom, that can’t be a serious question.”

“You like me-”

“I don’t know you! I just...you just...it’s complicated, Ransom. All of this is so complicated. I just wanna go away.”

“Lets go away together,” he suggests as if it’s not a big deal.

“You’re hilarious, truly. You could be a fucking comedian.”

“Lets fucking go. It’s not like Jack will notice. He barely pays attention to you now,” he mutters.

“Thanks for that,” you snap as your phone goes off again. “Fuck, let me just...hello?”

“I’ve been calling you for over an hour!” Jack snaps. “Where have you been?!”

“I do have a job, ya know. I decided to treat myself to dinner.”

“You haven’t been home-”

“Can we not do this? I put up with your shit last night and I don’t fucking feel like dealing with it again tonight.”

“Y/N...I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t want it to happen that way. I really...I wanted to get it right.”

“Funny how you always want to get it right and still fuck it up every single time.”

“Just come home, please? I’ll make it up to you-”

“It was our fucking anniversary and you embarrassed me, yet again, in front of the people you insisted we have over. There’s no way can make it up to me. It’s done. Four years of this shit-”

“Stop it. You know I love and would do anything for you-”

“No, I don’t know any of that, because you’ve never shown or proved any of that.”

“Just come tonight and I’ll-”

“Why should I, Jack? Give me a good fucking reason.”

“Because I love you,” he sighs and you can tell that he’s tired.

Yeah well, you’re tired too.

“I don’t feel like doing this with you, Jack. Not today.”

“Please just come home-”

“What for?”

“You’re my wife, Y/N. You should already be-”

“Me being your wife doesn’t seem to stop you from all of the shady shit you always fucking do.”

“Please-”

“I don’t know, I might stay at Daisy’s again.”

“I don’t like you staying over there! She stays out all night and-”

“So do you,” you laugh incredulously, “at least she pays attention to me.”

“Honey-”

“I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later,” you sigh before hanging up.

“Ya know, he’s gonna text me soon. Should I tell him I have plans or...”

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Ransom. I-”

“Why not? It’s not like he’s being faithful to you, so what’s the big deal?”

“Because this isn’t who I am, Ransom. This is never the life I wanted! It’s not...it’s not the life I thought I’d....” you sigh as you wipe away a lone tear.

Why can’t you be more selfish? Why can’t you jus walk away from all of this?

“Lets go away together, just you and me,” Ransom suggests again.

“That’s not funny-”

“I’m not joking.”

“We can’t just go away-”

“He isn’t going to notice, baby. I know you don’t want to face that fact, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s just that: a fact. Tell him it’s for work, and we’ll go wherever you want.”

“Ransom...this isn’t a relationship.”

“It can be.”

“No, it really can’t. We can’t keep-”

“You like me, babe.”

“Whether I do or not-”

“You do.”

“Ransom, I’m married. It doesn’t matter that Jack is an asshole, this isn’t me. Sleeping around and having a “relationship” on the side...God, what the fuck is wrong with me?!”

“You’re unhappy.”

“You’re never going to commit to me-”

“You don’t know that.

“Well would you? Would you walk away from all of it just for me?”

“Would you?”

“I’m not the one with something to prove, Ransom. You have reputation, I don’t.”

“That’s fair,” he sighs as he leans back.

“I need to get home.”

“You need to eat.”

“Ransom-”

“Another round of drinks?” the waiter asks with a smile.

Before you can even think, Ransom is answering, “she’ll have the crab-stuffed lobster and I’ll take the surf and turf, and yeah, we’ll take another round of drinks.”

The waiter just smiles and nods before walking off.

“I have to go!”

“You haven’t eaten all day and you’ve had 4 Mai Tai’s. I’m not taking you back on an empty stomach.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“It seems that’s all I ever do these days,” he mutters as he finishes off the rest of his drink as the new ones arrive.

“So...what’s wrong with you?” you question softly, starting to play with your fingers.

“Excuse me?”

“Why does everyone think you’re so terrible?”

“Because I am,” he smirks, as if he’s proud of himself.

“Then what the hell is so special about me?”

“Because you’re not like everyone else here. You’re not like the other...you didn’t let all of this shit leave you jaded. Even now, dealing with Jack and me...you’re being nicer than either of us deserve...I tried, okay? I just wanted to fuck and that would’ve been fine, but you...you’re still the same girl I had a crush in kindergarten, whether you see it or not.”

“No, I’m really not.”

“Daisy is still your best friend and she’s probably one of the biggest party girls around. You’ve never been anything but loyal to her and you’ve always defended her. Whenever you bother to go out, you laugh the loudest and dance until your feet hurt or your heels break. You still donate entirely too much money to charities and I know that you still give money to homeless guys on the street. You’re actually a good person, Y/N. Maybe if I wasn’t such a piece of shit, I would have pursued you a while ago, but I know that I’m not worthy of you. Hell, no one in this little group of shit heads is, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want you. I want you to myself and I want you bad. Why do you think I never kick you out of bed? Always beg you to stay? Beg at all?

Then Jack just fucking parades you around all the goddamn time...the fuck is so special about him? I took notice of you before everyone else did, so why the fuck does he get to be married to you? Why the fuck does he get to have your love and affection?” he scowls as the food is delivered.

Cue light bulb.

“Ransom, am I....did Jack steal me from you?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Ransom-”

“He didn’t even pay attention to you until I said something about you. I was fucked up at some fucking event my parents were throwing...you were wearing that dress with the fucking flowers...the one I destroyed last month, which really wasn’t my fault because your tits looked amazing in it. Anyway, I said something about how you always look beautiful and it’s frustrating...two weeks later, he’s flirting with you at your parents fucking dinner party.”

“So why...he never actually wanted me?”

“He did, but he didn’t see a reason to act on it until I said something. Apparently, I get everything I want and he wasn’t about to let that happen again. The thing is, I never would have gone after you, Y/N. Seeing you with him though...Y/N, he’s a fucking bastard and you know it.”

“So this just a pissing competition between the two of you?!”

“Can’t be much of a competition if he doesn’t know we’re seeing each other.”

“We’re not-”

“Yes we are, Y/N. Yeah, it’s just fucking, but you have feelings for me just as much as I have feelings for you. I may be the one asking you to stay over, but you always do. You’re in just as deep as I am.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Say that we can go away together and explore this more.”

“Ransom, I’m married-”

“To a complete piece of shit! Babe, you know you can leave him. You can leave and do whatever you want.”

“Like taking a chance on you?”

”Would it really be so bad?” he asks so softly, you barely hear him.

“Ransom, I just can’t take-”

“Why not? What’s so wrong with it? It’s a bit too fucking late have a moral compass about all of this.”

“You didn’t have to kiss me.”

“And you could’ve said no,” he replies with a coy smirk, but his tone lets you know that he’s hurt.

“I have to get back.”

“Eat.”

“Ransom-”

“Eat first and then I’ll take you back to your car,” he sighs in defeat.

The rest of the time spent at the restaurant is spent in silence and you feel like shit. Ransom is a lot of things, but you can tell he meant everything he said. When it was time to pay, Ransom whipped out his wallet before you could even reach for your purse. When you try and thank him, he just shakes his head and offers you a small smile.

When the fuck did all of this get so complicated?

“I can pay you back for the dinner,” you mumble softly once Ransom pulls up next to your car in the parking garage.

“It’s on me.”

“It was expensive-”

“It wasn’t expensive at all.”

“Okay, to normal people, it was expensive.”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he chuckles softly.

“We’ve got to stop, Ransom. This isn’t...it’s better if we stop.”

“Do you want to?”

“That’s not the point-”

“Sweetheart, do you want to stop?” he asks, taking your chin in his forefinger and forces your attention on him.

You don’t have the strength to lie and tell him ‘no’, because you don’t want to stop. Everything you’ve been looking for from Jack, Ransom gives you without hesitation. No, it’s not love, but there’s still affection, passion, and pleasure.

God, so much fucking pleasure.

The fact that you’re not saying a thing lets him know that he has you, and without hesitation, he’s dipping down and kissing you passionately.

And just like that, you’re reminded why you can’t quit him.

His kisses are always so desperate and urgent, but he’s got the softest fucking lips. No matter how aggressive and filthy the sex is, there’s still a softness in the way that he holds you. The way he caresses your face, grips your hair, cradles you...it all feels like heaven.

Ransom always feels like heaven.

In no time at all, you’re climbing into his lap and straddling him. Since he ripped off your panties last night, the only one who has to do any work is him.

“Always so wet for me, baby,” he groans as he teases your clit.

“You make me feel so good, Ransom! I can’t get enough,” whimper, grinding yourself against his hard length.

“You want me, sweetheart?”

“I always want you, daddy!”

“Then take it, baby. Take whatever you want from me, I’m yours,” he husks against your neck before kissing it.

Yes, you’re the one who keeps saying that you two need to stop, but it’s hard to think straight whenever his lips are anywhere on your body.

The gasp that leaves your mouth as you slide yourself down on his length has him smirking against your neck, “I love it when you make that sound.”

“You stretch me so good, baby,” you moan as you start to ride him.

Since you two are in the drivers seat of his car, your body is pressed up against his, and that makes his tight grip on you that much more pleasurable. Feeling his breath on your skin makes you all that much more desperate in the most pleasurable way.

“Could get lost in you forever,” he grunts, thrusting up into you, causing you to lull your head back and moan, “you look so fucking beautiful, baby. Most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

You look down at him, your hair falling in front of your face, and you start thinking about it. Yeah, pleasure is slightly clouding your judgement, but would it really be so bad to go away with him? Seeing if there’s anything more to this than just sex? Hes got a point: you are tired of making everyone else happy while you’re miserable, and for however fleeting it is, Ransom makes you happy.

However, the fact remains that Ransom is Ransom, and you’re terrified of getting hurt again.

“Gonna...gonna cum soon, baby,” you moan, gripping his shoulders tight.

“Give it to me, sweetheart! Cum hard for daddy!”

“Fuck!” you gasp as you squirt hard, leaning your forehead against his as he fills you with his desire, a low guttural growl leaving his mouth as he buries his face into the crook of your neck.

You really do wish you could just stop.

“Come home with me.”

“I can’t, baby,” you breathe, pushing your hair back as you lift your head up.

“Sweetheart-”

“I’ve gotta go, Ransom. Thank you for dinner,” you smile at him before kissing him softly.

You ease yourself off of him slowly, navigating your way back to the passengers seat as gracefully as you can while his release drips down your leg, and smooth out your dress. You take a deep breath before grabbing your purse and getting out of Ransom’s car.

You don’t know why your seems to break a little, telling yourself that it’s not because you feel something other than desperate desire for Ransom, because why would you? How could you? You barely know the man. But you know it’s a lie. Somehow, Ransom has found a place in your heart.

He did the moment you opened your legs for him the first time.

**

It’s been forever since you’ve fucked in a car, so it makes sense that your legs are sore as you walk up the steps to the place where you live. As you fish through your purse for your house key, the door whips open revealing a furious Jack.

Great.

“Where the fuck were you?!” he demands as soon as you walk in.

“I told you that I took myself out for dinner, as usual, you weren’t listening,” you mutter, hanging your jacket up and kicking your shoes off.

“I called Daisy and she said that you hadn’t been by since you left for work this morning!”

Thank you Daisy for knowing when to lie.

“Are you fucking high? Cause that’s the only way to explain this conversation.”

“Don’t get cute with me!” he snaps, following you into the kitchen.

Yeah, he’s high as shit.

“I don’t understand why you’re getting mad about information you already knew, but okay, lets have another senseless argument. What’s wrong with poor old Jack tonight?” you sigh as reach for a glass.

“You don’t stay out all fucking night, Y/N! You can’t-”

“You do it all the fucking time, Jack! At least you knew where the fuck I was,” you scoff, pouring yourself a glass of whiskey.

When the hell did you start drinking so much?

“That’s different! I’m trying to save this-”

“Please do not say this marriage,” you laugh incredulously, finally turning to face him. “You’ve done nothing make sure this marriage fails for the last two fucking years. So no, you don’t get to stand here and bitch to me because you had to jerk your own dick for the last few months when you can’t find a cunt to get cozy in,” you spit, venom laced in every word.

You see the storm brewing in his eyes before you feel the sting across your face.

Yes, he’s come close to hitting a few times, especially when he’s fucked up, but hes never actually done it.

Your shock soon turns into an all consuming rage and you slap him back, with as much force as you can muster.

“You little bitch!” he yells before lunging at you.

Before you know it, you two are in an all out brawl in the kitchen. Thank God the the knives are in the drawers, because nothing seems to be off limits. If Jack isn’t hitting you with his fists or a plate, he’s biting you, and if can’t kick him, you’re reaching for whatever the closest object is and smashing him over the head with it. However, in the end, he gets the upper hand and is straddling you, beating you as if you’re the one who started this mess of a marriage in the first place.

When all is said, you lay on the floor bloodied and bruised, as he catches his breath and slowly rises to his feet.

“You are my wife, Y/N. It’s time you start fucking act like it. Don’t make me have to put you in line again. When I get back, I expect all of this shit to be cleaned up,” he demands, kicking you before he walks out of the kitchen.

You quietly sob as you hear him shuffle around, putting on his shoes and grabbing his keys, before you finally hear the front door slam. This is why you’re sticking around? To be some piece of shit’s personal punching bag when you give him a taste of his own medicine? No, there has to be a life that’s better than this.

You give yourself a few moments to get yourself together, before you finally pull yourself up and pour yourself another drink, seeing as the other one was ruined when you threw the glass at Jack. You hobble out to the living area where your purse is and grab it, searching through it until you find your phone and calling the only person you have the strength and energy for at the moment.

“Hey babe, I’m on my way out. What’s up?” Daisy asks when she finally answers the phone.

“I need you to take me to the hospital,” you mumble since your lips have started to swell.

“What happened?!”

“I’ll tell you when you get here.”

With that, you hang up and make your way back into the kitchen, trying to ignore the pain in your heart that seems to outweigh the physical pain you’re feeling. You take a seat on a bar stool and resume your drinking when you feel your phone buzz.

Part Time Lover: I know you said no, but just come over tonight. I know Jack is out, cause he just called me all fucked up, so just stay over. Jesus, you can even start keeping clothes here if you want, I just want you here.

You don’t mean to laugh (mainly because it fucking hurts), but what else can you do? Not only did your husband just beat the shit out of you, but now you have Ransom practically begging you to start a relationship with him. You went from having the perfect life to living in a goddamn soap opera, and you’re not even sure who’s in charge anymore.

Cause it sure as shit isn’t you.

You’re in the middle of pouring your second drink when there’s a pounding on your door. You make your way over to it as fast as you can, your new limp slowing you down, but when you open the door you wish you would have taken time because as soon as you open the door.

“WHAT HAPPENED?!” Daisy yells as she makes her way inside.

“Please, I can’t do yelling right now.”

“Y/N-”

“Jack and I got into a fight. He won.”

“Jack did this?!”

“He stays out all night and it’s fine. I stay out all night and this happens.” “Yeah, he called me about that. Where the hell were you?”

“I’m not really ready to talk about that just yet. Can you please take me to the hospital? I’ve too many drinks and my entire body hurts, and I need to change the locks before that piece of shit gets home.”

“Yeah, c’mon. Lets get you fixed up,” she sighs, grabbing your sweater off the coat rack and helping you get into it.

“I need you to help me with the locks being changed, please.”

“Anything, whatever you need,” she promises as she helps you to her car.

“Dais, I promise I’ll tell where I was...what I’ve been up to, I just-”

“That doesn’t matter right now, wen just need to get you some help.”

It’s time like these that you’re extremely grateful for Daisy. No, you don’t have a habit of getting beat up by anyone, but Daisy always knows when to press on certain subjects and when to let them go. Yes, you still wish that she could suck it up from time to time and just be there for you when you need her, but she still shows up for you more than anyone else, and supports all of your good decisions more than anyone else.

By the time you show up at the hospital and are shown a room, you just want to go to bed. You know that you need to do this so that you can get some sort of restraining order against Jack, but you’re just so fucking tired. You’re about to tell Daisy your plan when your phone starts buzzing again.

Part Time Lover: Alright, what the fuck is going on? Jack just showed up with a busted lip, a bruise on his jaw, and there’s swelling around his right eye. He’s also bleeding from his ear and it looks like a bite mark? What the hell happened?!

Y/N: Don’t let him leave your house.

Part Time Lover: What happened? Are you okay?

Y/N: Ransom, do not let him leave your house.

Part Time Lover: I’m coming over.

Y/N: Ransom, please. Just keep him there and I don’t know, get him drunk or something.

Part Time Lover: Fine.

“Alright,” you tell Daisy softly, “Jack is at Ransom’s. Call Dan’s Locksmith Shop and tell them you need an emergency job done and that cost isn’t an issue. Meet them there-”

“What about you? I can’t leave you here-”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll take a car service or something.” “Babe-”

“Daisy, I want him out of the house. Please, you can sleepover tonight if it’ll make you feel better, but I’ll feel a lot better once this is done. Please.”

“Fine,” she sighs in frustration.

“Now, they’re three hidden entrances, do you remember?”

“Yeah, and the trick window by the cellar.”

“Perfect. Now, have two keys made. One for me and one for you-”

“I get a key?”

“You always get a key,” you smirk and she laughs. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way home,” you promise.

“Are you sure you’re okay to be alone?”

“I’ll be fine, please.”

“Alright alright,” she sighs, kissing your forehead before making her way out.

As she goes out, the doctor comes in, and immediately gives you a look of pure sympathy.

That’s the last thing you want right now.

“Looks like you got beat up pretty bad. Wanna tell me what happened?” he asks softly, taking a seat on the chair in front of you.

You mean to tell the truth but what comes out instead is, “I got into a car accident.”

Filling out the paperwork would be a bitch and you don’t want the whole damn county in your business. You’re not even a member of the country club, but even you know how badly those women gossip and how vicious they can be. Not even thinking about how much you don’t wanna hear your mother’s thoughts on the situation, you don’t want to deal with the looks, the whispers, and the sympathetic looks.

‘Poor little Y/N, ended up in the same type of marriage as her mother.’

You’re not about to the new town gossip topic.

You can tell that the doctor doesn’t believe you, but he doesn’t push it

. “Well, we should take a few x-rays and you’re gonna need some stitches.”

“Stitch me up, doc,” you smile weakly.

As the night goes on and you get fixed up, you can’t stop thinking about everything Ransom said. The fact that he remembered you sticking up for him all those years ago, how he never asked you out because of fear of rejection, and Jack.

The fact that your husband only went after you out of pure spite...how could you not see it? The more you think about it, the more you see all the signs you missed and you just want to kick yourself. At least Ransom had a slightly more believable story, because you both had that interaction...that one time, but with Jack...you two had never even spoken until that day. The more you think about it, the more you want to cry.

While doctor finishes up the last few stitches over your eye, you try and think about what your next move is. How the hell do you get out of your marriage and what the fuck are you gonna do about Ransom?

**

It’s been two weeks since the fight with Jack, which means that its been two weeks since hes stepped foot into the house.

That was a shit show.

“Y/N, are you fucking serious?! You changed the fucking locks on me?! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” he screamed, pounding on the door outside.

“You’re okay, I promise,” Daisy tried to reassure you as shook in her arms with tears streaming down your face. “He can’t get in here, I made them check multiple times that everything was taken care of.”

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, Y/N! THIS IS MY FUCKING HOUSE TOO!” he roared, only pounding on the door harder.

Eventually, he got fed up and called the cops, but the minute they saw your face they told him it may be best for him to go somewhere else. That’s when the constant calling and texting started. A million apologies, promising that it’ll never happen again, telling you that he just wasn’t himself that night, and a million other useless promises. When that didn’t work, he called for help from your mother.

That didn’t make anything better.

“Y/N, open up this damn door right now and tell me what the hell is going on!” she screeched from the other side of the door.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you made your way over to the front the door.

The second you opened the door, her whole demeanor changed. “Oh sweetheart...he didn’t say....what did you do to provoke him?”

“This is my fault?!”

“I’m just saying...you know his father has a temper and I know that you can push buttons sometimes-”

“Okay, I’m you fucking daughter! Just this one time, can you take my side?!”

“I’m not saying that I’m not, it’s just...you already make more money than him and you know it bruises his ego-”

“Then maybe he should work harder instead of sleeping with every woman that flashes herself at him!”

“I’m not trying to make you upset-”

“Then you wouldn’t have asked what I did to provoke him! Jesus Christ! I stayed in this marriage for you! I tried to make it work for you! And this,” you emphasized as you pointed to your face, “is what happened! So you don’t get to come here and make me feel like shit!” you screamed at her.

She didn’t say anything else, she just nodded and walked away.

There was also the Ransom issue.

You hadn’t spoken to him since he asked him to keep Jack at his house, and he was getting fed up. It doesn’t help that he still doesn’t know what the hell happened, so after the fourth day of you ignoring him, he decided to act on revenge.

Which backfired on him.

“Hey, remember that house party Ransom had a month ago? The one where he fucked that chick on his balcony for everyone to see?” Daisy asked with a sly smirk on her face as she brought dinner into the bedroom.

You froze almost instantly, “uhm, I don’t think I was there.”

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure I saw you there. I know for a fact that Jack was there.”

“I didn’t go because I didn’t feel like watching Jack flirt with other girls.”

“Hmm, maybe that’s why you let Ransom fuck you on his balcony.”

“Daisy-”

“He snitched on himself,” she laughed, loving the shocked look on your face. “I honestly didn’t think you had it in you! Not only did you cheat on Jack in front of everyone, but you also got your insides re-arranged in public?! Little Miss Modesty?!”

“Stop it, Dais,” you commented, feeling so incredibly small.

“What?! I’m fucking proud, honestly. Fuck Jack, at least now you’ve been fucked properly.”

“Dais-”

“You can’t tell me you feel bad about it!”

“It’s been going on for almost a year! I feel awful!”

“You’ve kept this from me for a year?!”

“I’ve kept it from everyone,” you sighed, feeling even worse, “we were just in our own little world and it was nice to have something for myself. It started on Jack and I’s vow renewal party last year, and every time I tried to stop...I just fucking couldn’t. Yeah, I know Ransom still sleeps around, but when I’m with him...Daisy, I just fucking forget how miserable I am for a while. Everything Jack hasn’t made me feel in the last few years, Ransom makes me feel, and I know, okay? I know it’s wrong and all of that, but he makes it so fucking hard to quit.”

“That’s the Ransom effect for sure,” she scoffed.

“Wait, how did he snitch on himself?”

“Well, he brought me back to his house last night and we were in the middle of hooking up when he moaned your name.”

“Excuse me?!”

What a piece of shit.

“Oh God, what did I do wrong?”

“Not you, him,” you growled.

“Fuck.”

“The night that everything happened with Jack...he took me out to dinner and said all of these things...then, he goes and fucks you?! My best friend?!”

“If I had known, I wouldn’t have-”

“It’s not on you, Dais, it’s him. Whatever, it doesn’t fucking matter.”

“I mean...I wouldn’t...ya know what? I’m keeping my mouth shut.”

“Oh no you don’t! Tell me!”

“You kept this whole thing from me for a year-”

“That’s different and you know it!”

“Babe-”

“Tell me, Dais.”

“I don’t know, maybe it was because he was drunk, or maybe it’s because he’s annoyed that hes been having to play housemates with Jack for two weeks, but the man really does seem hurt.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t tell him anything, and he was drunk, but he admitted that he is worried about you. He’s mad that you won’t answer him...babe, why won’t you answer him? What happened?

“Daisy-”

“I never push, your secrets are always your own, but you’ve got to tell me something. This isn’t you, Ransom doesn’t care about anyone, but now he’s having revenge sex with your best friend, well...attempting to, and you’re getting mad about it? Ya gotta give me something, babe.”

So, you reluctantly told her everything. It’s not like you don’t trust Daisy with everything, but you were ashamed of yourself. You were ashamed of all of it. No matter what had happened between you and Jack, you weren’t a cheater. The relationship had turned you into someone you weren’t and for what? Some fractures, a busted lip, a few broken ribs, and a few too many bruises? Who the hell are you?

“It’s not like I want you to end up with Ransom,” Daisy started after you finished, “but I don’t think he’s lying.”

“Dais-”

“I’m not rooting for the kid-”

“He attempted to sleep with you, knowing that you’re my best friend-”

“Like I said, I’m not rooting for the guy, but I also get it. I genuinely do, from both sides. Ransom has never given a shit about anyone other than himself, at least not as far as anyone knows of, and then you came along. You gave him all the attention he wanted then took it away. Of course he doesn’t know how to react. I’ll definitely slash his tires the next time I see him, but I understand where he’s coming from.”

“He still tried to fuck you! He did!”

“Eh,” she shrugged, “his game was off and he didn’t cum. Plus, he was thinking about you, so that also takes points away. Tried is the right word.”

“Daisy!” you laughed, finally taking out your chopsticks and opening your container of dumplings. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care.”

“Don’t lie to me, or yourself for that matter.”

“I’m not!”

“Babe, if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have gotten so upset about him putting his dick in me,” she smiled sympathetically.

You hate that she had a point, because that meant all of the words he said to you in the restaurant actually meant something to you.

However, you’re still pissed at him, which is why you still haven’t responded to him.

You let out an aggravated sigh as your phone goes off for what feels like the millionth time. If it’s not Jack, it’s Ransom.

Part Time Lover: Jesus, can you just answer your fucking phone and talk to me?!

Y/N: Go away, Ransom.

Part Time Lover: WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?! I’M HOUSING YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT NOW! I THINK IT’S PRETTY FUCKING NICE OF ME SEEING AS HE’S WITH YOU AND I’M NOT!

Y/N: Besides try and fuck Daisy? Nothing.

Part Time Lover: Why are you mad at me if there’s nothing going on between us?

Y/N: You’re a fucking asshole, Ransom. I’m done with all of this shit.

Part Time Lover: The fuck you are! This is bullshit, I’m coming over!

Y/N: DO NOT!

When he doesn’t respond, you know you’re fucked and that he’s on his way. Besides the fact that you don’t want him to see you in your current state, you just don’t want to see him. Whatever you’re feeling towards him, you just want it go away, because he’s too much of a risk. You’re already in a fragile state and you need to start taking better care of your heart.

Yes, Ransom had shown you in his own way that he could be sweet when he wanted to be, but he also fucked Daisy all because you wouldn’t answer his calls and texts. He could have fucked anyone else, but he fucked Daisy to hurt you. You’re not about to leave Jack just to end up in the same damn situation.

You just want to start fresh. Hell, maybe you’ll even move. You’ve been tired of Marlborough for years anyway.

With an aggravated groan, you get out of bed and decide it’s time for you to figure out dinner. Daisy is probably gonna be out all night, so you really only need to worry about yourself. A sharp bang on your front door causes you to jump as you reach the landing, and you make a mental note to slap the shit out of Ransom when you’re back to full health.

“I know you’re home, Y/N! Open up so we can talk!” Ransom demands and you roll your eyes.

Home. What’s it like to have one of those?

“I’m not leaving and you know I’ll stand here all goddamn night if I have to! Open the fucking door!”

Besides the fact that you don’t want to get into a screaming match at 8pm, you really don’t want him to see all your scars and bruises. Hell, you’ve been working from home since everything happened. Ransom constantly calls you the most beautiful woman hes ever seen, but now? God, he’s gonna think you’re hideous now.

“Y/N!”

“What, Ransom?”

“I wanna talk to you, not your fucking door. Open up!”

“Ransom-”

“Jesus Christ, I’ll keep my fucking hands to myself, okay?! Open the fucking door!”

You let out a defeated sigh and unlock the door, cracking it a little and looking down, “what?”

“Will you please look at me? Listen, the Daisy thing was-”

“I don’t wanna talk about that and I don’t wanna talk to you. Now, please leave me alone.”

“Look at me.”

“Ransom-”

“Why won’t you look at me?”

“Cause I don’t wanna see you, obviously.”

“Now you’re lying to me.”

“Stop it. Just go-”

“What don’t you want me to know? Does this have to do with why you kicked Jack out?”

“Ransom-”

“Look at me, sweetheart,” he demands but much softer now.

You say nothing as your eyes start to well up and you keep your gaze on your feet. You feel his finger on your chin and you turn away.

“Please,” you cry.

“Look at me, sweetheart. Please, look at me.”

You slowly look up and his eyes go from genuine concern to pure rage.

“Jack did this?” he asks, trying to keep an even tone, but his fists are clenched.

“He was mad that I didn’t come home that night, the one before we went to dinner at Fish...he was all fucked up when I got home and we got into an argument. Things were said, he got even more pissed off, then he slapped me. I slapped him back...we ended up fighting on the kitchen floor. Ransom, the only people who know are him, my parents, Daisy, and now you. Please don’t-”

“How bad was it?” “Ransom-”

“Sweetheart.”

“My lips were swollen, a broken rib, a few stitches-”

“A broken rib?! Did he fucking kick you?!”

“Ransom, please don’t-” “I’ll fucking kill him, I swear to God!”

“Ransom, stop it. I’m fine-”

“I know you don’t believe it, but you are mine. He doesn’t get to...I’m gonna snap his fucking neck!”

“Ransom please!”

“Are you okay? What can I do?”

“You don’t have to do anything, baby.”

God, that didn’t take long, did it?

“I’m gonna take care of that fucker-”

“Ransom please. I don’t need this getting out-”

“It won’t get out, but he doesn’t get to act like-”

“Please let it go.”

“No.”

With that, he was storming off towards his Beamer, slamming his door shut before speeding off.

Well, at least he didn’t run in the other direction when he saw you.

He’s so fucking hot headed though. You’ve heard about his temper, but you’ve never experienced it first hand. Yeah, it warms your heart that he’s so protective over you, but you don’t want him getting into trouble over you.

Especially when you aren’t even sure what the hell is going on between you two.

You don’t even have an appetite anymore. Instead, you make yourself a bag of popcorn and decide that a night of TV is whats best. Yeah, your phone is upstairs, but you’re spent. Horror films and popcorn will you set you straight for the night.

For the time being, you just want to forget.

**

“You like the party I threw for you, sweetheart?” Ransom grunted as he fucked into you hard from behind.

“F-for....for me?” you moaned, trying to think on anything other than the fact your body ached with pleasure.

Ransom had decided to throw a masquerade party and insisted that you come. He threw it together last minute, so you barely had a chance to get something together, but luckily the town Halloween shop had a few antique masks left.

It was very ‘Phantom of the Opera’ of him.

When you got there, Jack was already all over some brunette and you rolled your eyes, but you promised him you stay and make sure to say hi to him. In your defense, he was telling you all of this while he fucked you into your fourth orgasm while you two were in the shower.

You would’ve promised him anything.

When you finally spotted him in his study with a few of his friends, you smiled and gave him a small wave. You turned, ready to make your way to the kitchen, when you felt an arm around your waist.

“What the-”

The lips that cut you off instantly told you who it was. You were ready to push him until you remembered that you didn’t have to. Everyone was in masks, so it’s not like anyone would know it was you he was kissing. You barely ever left the house, no one would ever believe that you’re cheating on Jack, and it was a party at Ransom’s.

Everyone was probably already too fucked up.

“You came,” he breathed, once you broke apart.

“You asked me to,” you rasped, your mind in a haze from his surprisingly passionate kiss.

“Get yourself a drink and make your way up to my room.”

“What if someone’s in there?”

“No one here is dumb enough to do that,” he smirked as he went to walk away. “Keep your mask on,” he added before disappearing into the crowd.

At the time, you didn’t think anything of it. It was Ransom after all.

You made yourself a strong drink and made your way upstairs, ignoring all the sounds coming from the spare rooms. You were only a few sips in when Ransom burst into the room, closing his door and locking it.

“You look amazing, sweetheart,” Ransom complimented as he made his way over to you. In no time at all, he had your dress torn and off the floor. “Now, you look even better,” he laughed with that devilish grin of his.

From that moment on, the words you two were saying was ‘fuck me harder’, ‘you daddy’s fat cock so well,’ ‘please me cum, and things of those articulate nature.

So what the hell was talking about this being your party?

“Remember baby? That movie we watched the other night?” he husked, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

Movie? You two never watch any...oh. OH!

“Daddy-” “Got so fucking wet and excited for me watching that woman get fucked in front of everyone,” he cooed and you clenched around him at just the memory. “See? You loved it. So, daddy threw you this party so we could re-enact it.”

“C-can’t, daddy! So many people!”

“I’ll take care of that, Sweet Thing. That’s why daddy told you to keep the mask on. You’re my filthy little thing, and I don’t want anyone else knowing about it,” he growled before he pulled out, causing you to whine in dissatisfaction. “Go stand in front of that window, baby. Can’t fucking wait to fuck you like the nasty little thing you are.”

The logical part of your brain was screaming ‘FUCK NO! TOO FAR!’, but the blissed out part had you standing in front of that sliding glass door almost instantly. The fact that your husband was there and would more than likely recognize you didn’t seem to phase you at all. Ransom was the one who gave you everything you wanted, so Ransom was the one who got your loyalty at the end of the day.

No matter how fucked up or stupid that may have been.

“Look all the people who came to your party, pretty girl,” Ransom groaned as he easily slid cock back inside of you.

“Fuck!” you cried out, gripping the curtains tight as you tried to hold on.

You already knew you were gonna be sore in the morning.

“You know daddy would do anything to make you happy, right Sweet Thing? I’ll always take care of you...I’ll give you anything you want!”

“Daddy...I...”

“Gettin fucked so good you can’t even think huh?” he chuckled. “It’s about to get so much better, Sweet Thing.”

In one swift move, Ransom’s arm was around your waist and pulling you close, as his other hand undid the latch on the sliding glass door and he pulled it open.

Fuck.

“How’s everyone enjoying the party?!” he called as he walked you two out onto the balcony.

He was only met with cheers and cat calls, but you couldn’t feel any shame or embarrassment. Yes, it was wrong on so many levels, but the pleasure was just too much for you to focus on that at the moment. In that moment, you were living out one of your dirtiest fantasies with the man who worshiped your body and fucked you like you were the most important person in his world.

Guilt and shame be dammed.

Ransom bent you over and gripped the railing tight. You knew he was doing it to make sure you felt more comfortable, because that man had fucked you in so many positions, you knew him fucking you standing wouldn’t be a problem. With you bent over, your hair is covering your face, and even with a mask on, it makes it all that much harder to figure out just who the fuck you are. The gesture, though small and during a heinous act, was enough to tug on your heartstrings just a bit.

“Who’s that sweet little thing and when’s my turn?!” one of his friends called from below.

“I’m afraid she’s all mine,” Ransom laughed. “She’s such a good little slut, I’m too jealous to share. Isn’t that right, baby?”

All you can focus on doing is nodding, because your orgasm is building.

“I need to get me one!” Jack called and you mentally rolled your eyes.

Fucking idiot.

“Too fucked out again, baby?” Ransom coos in the condescending tone that always makes you whimper. “Be a good girl for daddy and I’ll take you back inside. The way this little snatch is clenching me...c’mon, cum for daddy!”

You cried out as your legs almost gave out and you squirted hard, Ransom’s grip on your waist getting tighter as he fucked you through your high and filled you with his own release.

“Atta boy!” Jack called, and if you weren’t so fucked out, you would have laughed.

“I think she agrees,” Ransom responded with a breathy laughed and a smirk to your face.

What a fucking asshole.

“Wanna go back inside and play some more, baby?”

You just nodded.

“Alright, my girl wants to go again, so I’ll see you fucks later!” he called and he was met a crowd of ‘boo’s. “I know, she puts on a hell of a show, doesn’t she?” he laughed as he pulled out.

In almost a blink of an eye, Ransom was lifting you upright, spinning you around, and carrying you back into his bedroom.

“You okay, sweetheart? Was it too much?” he asked as he closed the door and locked it.

Your response was to wrap your arms around him and kiss him like you hadn’t seen him in years.

“I guess not,” he laughed as when you two broke apart.

You both kept each other up for hours that night, and Ransom was so fucking gentle with you after all was said and done. It was almost like he was a completely different person.

“I meant what I said before,” he told you softly as you drifted off to sleep; your head on his chest as he gently stroked your arm.

“Hmm?” you questioned even though you were barely awake.

“I’d do anything to make you happy. I’ll always take care of you.”

“Why can’t you ever answer your damn phone?!” Daisy yells, waking you up from one of your favorite memories, as she runs into the house.

“It’s upstairs,” you answer with a yawn, stretching yourself as much as you can without hurting yourself.

“You should’ve come out tonight!”

“Dais, I am still missing a fucking rib. I don’t feel like going out.”

“You never felt like going out before you were missing a rib,” she scowls as she takes a seat next to you on the couch, “guess who made an appearance tonight!”

“I don’t know, Big Bird?”

“Have you had a drink? You’re more fun when you drink,” she bites, getting up and making her way into the kitchen.

“Daisy!”

“Just have a fucking drink!”

“It’s 1am and I’m on pain meds-”

“The last time you took them was at 7:30. You forget that I stay here, you can have a fucking drink, Y/N.”

“Am I really that terrible?”

“If you’re not crying, you’re yelling. While understandable, you need to feel other emotions besides misery and anger,” she mutters as she makes her way back into the living area with a whiskey neat.

“I’m just-”

“I know, babe. I really do, but you didn’t do this. He did. You wouldn’t have ever slept with Ransom if he would have been as loyal to you as he said he would have. Yeah, I’m not happy that you ended up staying, but you did try and leave. I really can’t stand your fucking parents,” she scowls. “Anyway, guess what happened at the club tonight!”

“You’re way too excited, so...sex?” “Not tonight, I came home early just for you!”

“1am is early?”

“Y/N!”

“Oh my God, what happened?!”

“Ransom beat the shit out of Jack!”

“WHAT?!” you yell, wincing in pain at the force behind it.

“He stormed into the club, in a full fucking rage, sought out Jack, and just started fucking laying into him!” “Fuck! I told him not to!” “I’m sorry, you knew that this was going to happen?!”

“He came by, mad that I wasn’t responding to his text and calls, and he saw me and got furious. I told him not to, but he was just so angry...”

“So, all of this is because Jack beat the shit out of you?”

“He said that I’m his and that Jack can’t do shit like this...God, he was so angry. I’ve heard about his temper, but I’ve never seen it up close.”

“Well...do you wanna see the fight?”

“You recorded it?!”

“Well, I tried FaceTiming you, but you didn’t answer,” she shrugs and you laugh softly. “C’mon, it’ll be fun! I enjoyed it!”

“Dais, I don’t want anyone getting hurt. Especially over me.”

“Babe, I love how genuine you are, but Jack is a piece of shit. He treats you like shit, he’s always making an ass out of himself and embarrassing you, he’s constantly cheating. Even tonight, he was making out with some woman at the bar, but he’s supposed to be trying to win your love back! Him getting his ass beat is what he deserves, I don’t feel bad at all.”

“I just want a fucking divorce!”

“Then get one!” “I can’t force him to sign the fucking papers, Dais. Did you forget the last time?”

“There has to be something...you filed a report, right?”

“No.”

“Y/N!”

“Please don’t, I just don’t wanna deal with the whispers, the stares, my mother...God, my fucking mother,” you scowl.

“Yeah, I’m still going to curse her out the next time I see her.”

“Daisy.”

“No, fuck her! ‘What did you do to provoke him?’ What the fuck is her problem?!”

“She’s a product of her environment. Her mother said the same thing to her the first time my father hit her.”

“You’re far too forgiving and understanding,” Daisy mumbles.

“I made peace with my issues with Jack a while ago. Whatever the hell is going on between Ransom and I...he didn’t need to do that.”

“He cares about you.”

“Dais-”

“You know I’m no great believer in love, but I’ve been telling you for years that his eyes are constantly on you, watching every little thing you do. He defended you that one time-”

“When did he ever defend me?”

“That time Jennie Taggs was making fun of you because your mother made a complete jackass out of herself at your sweet 16. She wouldn’t stop talking about it that following Monday, and Ransom casually asked her how much longer her father is gonna be in prison for money laundering.”

“I completely forgot about that!”

“In your defense, he said it then walked right out of the classroom. I think you had zoned out.”

“No, but I remember Jennie calling me a fucking bitch and you telling me what the hell happened. Okay fine, he watches me a lot and defended me that one time-”

“When have you ever seen him defend anyone? Really think about that question.”

“Dais-”

“He’s a piece of shit, but he’s a piece of shit whose always had a thing for you. He probably never asked you out because you would’ve been smart and said no.”

“That’s what he said,” you mutter before taking a sip of your drink.

“You talked to him about it?!”

“I told you he took me out to dinner-”

“But you didn’t say what was discussed.”

“He wants me to go away with him.”

“Do it.”

“Daisy!”

“What, Y/N? What is so wrong with letting him take you out and spoil you? And don’t you dare fucking say it’s because you’re married.”

“I am married!”

“Your husband beat the shit out of you, Y/N. It’s not exactly a healthy or functioning marriage.”

“Daisy, please-”

“Seeing if there’s something more doesn’t make you a bad person, hun. It would be one thing if Jack were actually good to you and trying to make things work, and you were out being a piece of shit. You have tried everything to try and make this marriage work, and hes gone out of his way to make sure it won’t, and then makes you feel like you’re crazy for not wanting to stay with him. I’m not saying you need to go on this trip and come back married, but for fucks sake, have some fucking fun! He clearly likes you, a lot, and you feel something for him. You don’t laugh like you used to anymore, you rarely leave the house, you’re miserable all the time, you cry constantly, and now this. Just go away with Ransom. You deserve a break.”

“I’ll think about it. I’m gonna go to bed though,” you sigh, finishing the rest of your drink before getting up.

“I have to go home for a few days-”

“Dais, you don’t have to keep staying here. I appreciate you looking out for me and taking care of me-”

“I don’t mind it. I know you’re still scared and you’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you. It’s no problem at all.”

“Daisy-”

“I mean it, Y/N. I don’t mind doing any of this, I love you. It’s not a burden, you’re not being a bother, and I’m happy to do it.”

“You are probably the most selfless person I know.”

“That’s fucking tragic,” she laughs. “Is there anything I can do, babe?”

“Nah, I’m just gonna turn on TV and try and go back to sleep.”

“Please watch a horror movie and pretend that you’re the killer and the person you’re chasing is Jack,” she begs.

“Don’t make me laugh!” you chuckle, feeling pain all over. “I love you,” you tell her softly before dipping down a little and kissing her forehead.

“I love you too, babe. Get some rest.”

The second you’re in your room, you slowly make your way over to your bed and slowly get it, grabbing your phone and contemplate checking in. If Daisy had called you, Ransom had definitely tried to get in touch with you. You settle under your blankets and decide (against your better judgement) to check your phone.

5 texts from Ransom, 6 missed calls from Ransom, 12 missed calls from Babygirl, 6 FaceTimes missed from Babygirl, 3 texts from Babygirl, 10 texts from Piece of Shit.

You completely disregard Jack’s texts (like always), and go right to Daisy’s texts, laughing a little when you see that she sent you the fight along with a text that reads

‘Just in case you change your mind ;)’

Next...Ransom.

Part Time Lover: I saw Daisy at the club tonight, so I know you’re gonna hear all about me beating the shit out of Jack. I know you said not to, but seeing you like that...sweetheart, I couldn’t let it go.

Part Time Lover: We’re back to you ignoring my calls? Great.

Part Time Lover: Babe, just answer the phone and talk to me.

Part Time Lover: Are we really back to this? You’re this mad that I rightfully beat that piece of shit’s ass?

Part Time Lover: I’ll leave it alone for now, but this isn’t done.

You sigh in frustration, because you know you need to leave it alone, but you can’t. After tonight and all hes done, you can’t leave Ransom alone. You’re calling Ransom before you give yourself a fair chance to talk yourself out of it.

The phone barely rings before he answers it.

“Decided to stop being mad at me?” he answers with a slight slur and you sigh.

“I was sleeping. Daisy woke me up when she got home and told me about...”

“You can’t really be mad at me.”

“Ransom, I begged you not to-”

“He put you in the hospital-” “Ransom-”

“I kicked him out, sweetheart. He’s back in with his parents and-”

“Ransom, what do you want from me?”

He’s thoughtful before he says, “ I want you and I to take a trip together.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s not the worst idea, sweetheart. Just say yes. This will give us a chance to really know each other. Well, a chance for you to get to know me.”

“Where would we even go?”

“Where do you wanna go?”

You’re think a bit before saying, “they turn the river green in Chicago soon for St. Patrick’s Day...I’ve always wanted to go and watch...we can go together.”

“Chicago? That’s where you wanna go?”

“Ransom.”

“Okay okay, we’ll go. However, St. Patrick’s is a little more than a month away-”

“I still need to heal, babe.”

“I want to see you before then.”

You sigh before admitting, “Dais just told me she needs to go back to her house for a few days...I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if you stayed here.”

“You don’t have to sound so fucking miserable about it.”

“I don’t know what it is that you want from me, and I’m trying...I am married at the end of the day, and this is wrong. All of this is so wrong on everyone’s end-”

“God, you’re so fucking pure it’s painful.”

“Ransom, stop it.”

“I’ll stay over, okay?”

“No, never mind. Maybe-”

“I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Why?”

“I like you a lot more than I should. I always have, like I told you. Seeing what you’ve had to put up with...I’d feel better if you weren’t alone.”

“Ransom-”

“Just say yes,” he begs softly, again.

Your heart is answering before your brain has a chance to register, “o..okay. Only a few days.”

“That’s more than good enough for me.”

“Don’t start.”

“What time should I come over?”

“Whenever you’ve slept off the alcohol.”

“Y/N.”

“I guess in the afternoon? I don’t know. It’s not like this is the best idea.”

“We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“It’s not like we’re doing anything right.”

“If you really want me to back off, I will.”

“I don’t know what I want, Ransom! That’s the problem!”

“Yes you do, you just don’t wanna say it.”

“Ransom-”

“Just sleep. We both need sleep. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

“Fine.”

“Don’t be fucking mad.”

“Goodnight, Ransom.”

“Night,” he mutters before hanging up.

It’s not lost on you that hes only told you he put Jack out because he wants you to come over, but what the fuck are you supposed to do? Your body starts hurting at the thought of leaving the house, so driving is so far out of your mind right now.

Also, what the fuck?!

You’re supposed to just go over because he beat up your husband (which begged him not to do)? It’s a love letter you never fucking asked for and you, quite honestly, don’t need. If anything, it makes everything more complicated and annoying, because you know for a fact that he’s gonna tell his parents what happened and they’ll talk to your parents. The whole thing is a fucking nightmare and you wish you hadn’t told Ransom to come over or that you’ll go away with him.

Not enough to take it back though.

You and Ransom have been fucking around for a little over a year now, and he’s only now telling you that hes always had a thing for you. You don’t know if this is all just a mind fuck or not, but you know that when you’re with him, you’re happy. If anything, tonight shows you that he has to at least give a bit of a fuck about you. Yes, it’s always been sex, but with how much he’s trying to keep you to himself now...can he really be all that bad?

Letting out a frustrated groan, you settle under the covers and turn on the TV, deciding that ‘Empire Records’ is good enough background noise to drift off to.

As you slowly succumb to the darkness of unconsciousness, your mind can’t stop focusing on one person and all of the things he makes you feel.

Hugh Ransom Drysdale.

**

“No,” you groan as your phone goes off for what you’re assuming to be the hundredth time.

You heard it in your sleep, but had absolutely no desire to answer it.

You mindlessly grab your phone, eyes still closed, and answer, “hmm?”

“Since when do you sleep like the dead?” Ransom questions.

Your eyes shoot open.

“It was a long night. What’s up?”

“I’m here.”

“What? Why? It’s still early-”

“It’s 1:30, babe. Are you okay?”

“I’m just...just tired,” you yawn as you sit up, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

There’s no sense in trying to get yourself together, since he’s already seen you when you first wake up and as you are now. You toe on your slippers and make your way downstairs as quick as you can, stopping in the kitchen first to take your pills before making your way to the front door.

“You okay?”

“You can’t park there, Ransom,” you mumble, seeing his car parked on the cobblestone driveway. “He comes by sometimes and the last thing I need is for you two to have it out again. I’ll open the garage for you.”

“Sweetheart-”

“We’ll talk once you’re inside.”

You close the door and make your way to the basement, hitting the switch that slide the doors up and wait for him to pull in.

You can still tell him no. You’ve already kicked your husband out and he actually lives there, you can definitely change your mind and tell Ransom to go home. There’s no reason for him to stay, because there’s no way for Jack to get in unless he breaks in, but there’s a security system set in place (at Jack’s demand) so there’s nothing to worry about. You can easily tell Ransom never mind and to go home.

But you don’t want to.

You can chalk it up to you being lonely and vulnerable, but you know that Daisy made a good point. You’re not in some loving wonderful marriage and you deserve to at least see if there’s anything real between you and Ransom before you dive back into hell by trying to get another divorce.

“What’s going on with you?” Ransom asks, pulling you out of your thoughts as he gets out of his car, duffle bag in hand.

“It’s just been a rough couple of weeks. I’m mentally exhausted, my body hurts...I’m dealing with everything. Trying to figure everything out.”

“You don’t ever sleep this late.”

“Like I said, it’s been a rough couple of weeks,” you mutter, stepping aside to let him in.

He sighs as he makes his way in and follows your lead,“do you really not want me here?”

“I told you last night: I don’t know what I want.”

“I miss you, Y/N.”

“That’s why you fucked Daisy?”

“That and I was fucking mad at you.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“At least I didn’t beat the shit out of you.” “I’m sorry, do you want to go home.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he mutters as he drops his duffle bag. “I really did miss you.”

“I missed you too, Ransom.”

“Not just fucking you, Y/N. I missed you. Seeing what he did to you...why you were so desperate for me to keep him at my house...I know you asked me not to but, I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop it.”

“I’m not yours to worry about, Ransom.”

“Yes you are.”

“Don’t. Don’t act like we’ve always been meant to be and I’m missing the point. You never said anything and now I’m supposed to just trust you?”

“Have I ever given you a reason not to?”

“YOU FUCKED DAISY!”

“Besides that!”

“Of course you’d say,” you laugh humorlessly, “I don’t even know you, Ransom.”

“Yet, you still want me here.”

“Cause I miss you, Ransom. I don’t know why, but I do.”

“Because I make you happy and I make you feel good.”

“That’s not enough for a relationship. It doesn’t help that I trust you less now than I did before.”

“We can work on that,” he promises softly as closes the small distance between the two of you. “If you want me to go-”

“I want...I want you to stay. I don’t want to be alone and I miss you.”

“He’s not gonna hurt you again, sweetheart.”

“I don’t wanna think about it right now. It’s always on my mind and-”

“Tell me what you wanna do.”

“I just wanna feel okay. For once, I want to be okay.”

“Let me help with that,” he mumbles before cupping your face and kissing you deeply.

It’s funny how quickly you forgot how soul stealing his kisses are.

“Ransom,” you breathe once you two break apart, “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“My body still hurts.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he growls and you laugh softly.

“Let me show you around.”

He picks up his bag before following you up the steps, and without even facing him, you can tell that he’s staring directly at your ass.

Men.

Initially, you told yourself that Ransom would sleep in one of the guest rooms, but now that he’s here (and has kissed the hell out of you), you make the dangerous decision to let him sleep in the same bed as you. The moment you open the bedroom door, he throws his bag down and gently pushes you against the wall.

Yeah, the guest room isn’t gonna work for you.

“Ransom, I just told you that I can’t,” you moan, barely making an attempt to push him off of you as he kisses down your body.

“We don’t have to do that, but there are other things we can do. Other things things that’ll make you feel better,” he husks, getting on his knees and lifting up the shirt you’re wearing. “When’s the last time you had an orgasm, sweetheart?”

“The last time I saw you,” you whimper, gripping his hair. “Ransom...oh fuck!” you mewl as he licks your clit. “You don’t have to-” “I want to. God, you don’t know how fucking bad I’ve missed this pretty little cunt, baby,” he growls before diving in.

As you lean against the wall while Ransom eats you out (like he hasn’t touched a woman in years), you think about what any of this means. What you want it to mean. Ransom has started to mean more to you than you ever thought he would, but what the fuck are you supposed to do with that? What the fuck are you supposed to do with him?

One thing is certain: Hugh Ransom Drysdale is now a major part of your life.

**

“Where you going?” Jack asks again as you pack your bags.

“On a business trip,” you lie with a frustrated scowl.

In the time its taken for you to convince yourself that a trip with Ransom is the right choice, a lot has happened. In all honesty, you know that you shouldn’t go with him, but you’re addicted him at this point. Since he stayed over for those few days, Ransom really has tried his best to show you that he means every thing he says and will go to every length to show you that.

“What do you even do again?”

“Jack, we’ve been together for over four years, you should know this already.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m just-”

“Marketing design, I’m in control of marketing design.”

“Since when do you start taking trips?”

“There was an offer and I-”

“We’re trying to work on-”

“No, you’re trying to work on this marriage, I’m just existing at this point. I told you I want a divorce and you refuse to just sign the papers.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry-”

“Sending your Mommy to talk me because I wouldn’t talk to you? Real fucking great-”

“I didn’t send her-”

“You didn’t fucking tell her to stay out of it either!”

In the middle of day two of Ransom staying with you, Jack’s mom showed up to plead her son’s case.

“Just be quiet and stay here,” you giggled, trying to get out of Ransom’s hold.

“Ignore her.”

“She’s my mother-in-law. I can’t just ignore her.”

“It’s your house, you can do whatever you want.”

“Ransom-” “You have work to do anyway.”

“You’re a selfish man.”

“Yes, I truly am, so just stay here with me,” he begged as he kissed your shoulder.

“Ransom.”

“It’s annoying. Being with someone who doesn’t do exactly what you say is pretty fucking annoying.”

“Go cry to Jack about it.”

“Can you fuck yet?”

“Ransom!”

“Fine, go and spend time with the wicked bitch. I’ll stay here,” he scowled.

“Give me a kiss.”

“Why should I?”

“Because you like me so much,” you smirked and he scoffed.

“Spoiled little shit,” he smiled before cupping your face and kissing you deeply. “Hurry back,” he husked after you two broke apart.

What the hell did you get yourself into?

You were reluctant to get up, but nonetheless got up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and made your way. You took a deep breath and mentally prepared yourself before opening the door.

“Oh sweetheart,” Jack’s Mother sighed the second you opened the door.

“Why don’t you come inside?” you offered, stepping aside and letting her in before softly closing the door behind her.

You knew it was going to be a shit show, but God did you underestimate how much. You poured the both of you a drink before you joined her at the kitchen table; you sitting across from her. You set the bottle of whiskey in the middle and just smiled at her.

You’re both quiet for at least five minutes before she said, “he’s so incredibly sorry.”

“Tell that to my broken rib.”

“He was out of control. He said he’s gonna get help-”

“Margret, I know you’re his mother, but you know it’s bullshit.”

“He wants to change-”

“And how many times did David tell you the same thing?”

“Y/N.”

“I’m not trying to be a bitch, but you can see me, can’t you? You see what I look like? You know that I’ve barely left the house in the house in two weeks? I’ve been working from home-”

“Quitting would help solve-”

“Why should I give up my career? I went to college and worked my ass off for a reason. I should quit because your son is sensitive? I quit and then what? I wait around for him to come back home from cheating on me?”

“He said that he’s never-”

“You don’t believe that. I know you don’t believe it.”

“Level with me here, Y/N,” she sighed. “You know how these things go-”

“I’m not a fucking business transaction, Margret. The person he sold me on and the person he is now are two different fucking people. I don’t love him anymore-”

“It won’t always be-”

“He beat me up, Margret! I don’t want to wait for him to be the person he promised me he’d be on our wedding day!”

“You think you’re special? You think every woman in this county wasn’t promised the perfect life? You don’t think we’ve all had our fair share of bruises? Your Mother? This is what comes with the life-”

“No, it comes with your life because you allow it. I don’t want this for myself!”

“Why can’t you just let it go? He’s sorry! Clearly, Ransom is taking care of you-”

“What does that mean?”

“Jack told me that he got into a fight with Ransom before he kicked him out. I can’t help but think-”

“Well try to,” you snapped before you grabbed your glass and finished off your drink. “Ransom and Jack have their own relationship. I haven’t spoken to Jack since that night, so I don’t know what the hell happened.”

“Everyone knows that boy has a thing for you, don’t act like-”

“Hes never said two words to me. Even at the wedding, where he was Jack’s best man, he didn’t say a thing to me. So, whatever the hell is going on between them has nothing to do with me.”

“I’m not going to tell him, honey. Everyone has their fun on the side-”

“Do you not hear how fucked up all of this sounds? I don’t want any part of this!”

“It’s all apart of the game, honey. They commit their sins and we’re here for their repentance.”

“Maybe for you, but it’s not what I want for me.”

“Y/N-”

“I want a fucking divorce, Margret. He can have whatever he wants, I don’t care, I just want out. The cheating was one thing, but if he’s hellbent on turning out like his father, I want no part in any of this anymore. I don’t want to keep up the act.”

“You need to understand how easy you have it.”

“You need to understand that I don’t want to be married to your son anymore.”

“So, you’re willing to throw it all away?”

“There’s nothing to throw away in the first damn place.”

“I’ll reach out to you soon,” she huffed before finishing her drink and getting up. “I know you two can work this out.”

With that, she walked out (slamming the door shut), and you were left to your own devices. As you poured yourself another drink, you heard her rev her engine before she peeled out of your driveway.

You threw her glass into the recycle bin before grabbing another for Ransom, filling it then your own, before you closed the bottle and made your way back upstairs.

“That didn’t sound pleasant at all,” he scoffed once you were back in the bedroom, putting down your glass and the bottle on your nightstand.

“How bad do you wanna fuck me?” you asked, handing him his drink before you got on the bed and straddled him.

“Real fucking bad, but I don’t want to-”

“I don’t give a fuck that it hurts, Ransom. I want you to fuck me like you want to. Fuck me like I’m your little play toy.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Do you want me?”

“Just because I want you doesn’t mean I want to hurt you.”

“I want it, Ransom. I want you,” you moaned as you grind yourself against him.

“What happened, sweetheart?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I just want you.”

“Then have me.”

While doing his best to be gentle that afternoon, he took his time pulling you apart over and over again. Yes, it was painful, but the pleasure was so strong that you didn’t give a fuck. He was so gentle with you after and it only made your heart desire him that much more. He really had no reason to try and lie, but he truly wanted to show you that he was all in.

He wanted you to understand just how much he cared.

The next morning, he made you breakfast in bed, which resulted in more sex.

Then your parents came over.

“You don’t have to answer them, babe. It’s your house,” Ransom sighed as you got dressed.

“You think they’ll just go away? If I don’t answer, they’ll just call. They’ll call until I answer and then, they’ll demand that I let them in.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to do what everyone-”

“Don’t Ransom. Just don’t. You and I aren’t the same and you wouldn’t understand.”

“Do you want to talk to them?”

“It’s pretty obvious that I don’t.”

“Then don’t fucking do it. You’re far too kind to people that don’t deserve it.”

“Well, if I lived by that motto, you wouldn’t be in my bed, would you?”

“That’s not fair.”

“I have to talk to them,” you chuckled before grabbing one of his cigarettes and his lighter, “I’ll try to not keep you waiting too long.”

“You better not. Give me a kiss.”

“Spoiled little shit,” you giggled before you dipped down to kiss him.

You pulled on one of the many sweaters he sent you home in before you made your way downstairs and getting ready for one of the dumbest talks you’d ever have.

“You can’t keep this up, Y/N,” your Mother sighed once you opened the door; your Father just staring at his feet.

“Keep what up?” you asked, placing the cigarette between your lips and lighting it.

“When did you start smoking?”

“A year ago. Come inside, we’ll go to the back deck.”

“It’s not good for you,” your Mother snapped as she gently pushed her way past you, your Father following her but still not looking at you.

“Not many things are these days,” you shrugged as you led them to the backyard, “why are you here?”

“We spoke to Margret-”

“Oh did you now?”

“Y/N, we know that Daisy’s been staying here. Keep it up and people are going to think that you’ve started some sort of relationship with her.”

“I should be so lucky. She’s gorgeous.”

“That’s not funny!”

“Who says I was joking? Did you hear me laugh?”

“You want the people in this county to think-”

“Honestly, who give a fuck? Who gives a fuck what anyone thinks?”

“I don’t care for your choice of language!” your Mother snapped.

“I don’t give a fuck what you care for,” you snapped as you all sat down in the extravagant sitting area that adorned the backyard patio. “You’re at my house about to ask me for the worst thing a parent-”

“Y/N, please. I know...They’re things that are expected-” your father started.

“You’re gonna ask me to take him back, but you still can’t look at me?” you interrupted him before you settled back into your chair and took a drag from your cigarette.

“Sweet Pea-”

“If you’re gonna speak to me, fucking look at me,” you snapped at your Father. “What? Am I that ugly, or do I remind you too much of how Mom looked after you would discipline her?”

“Y/N!” your Mother snapped.

“I know what we’re asking for...what we’ve been asking for isn’t fair,” your Father sighed be he lit his own cigarette, “but you’ve already married the boy. We’re not asking you to faithful, you and Ransom-”

“WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP BRINGING UP RANSOM?!”

“You haven’t seen Jack, but we have and Ransom didn’t give an explanation as to why he fought him-”

“So, it’s automatically got to be because of me? I’ve just gotta be fucking him for him to be mad at Jack?”

“Don’t make me out to be a fool, Y/N. I know we’ve made your life miserable, but-”

“Exactly. You’ve already asked too fucking much of me and I’m tired. I am so damn tired.”

“Just take the boy back-”

“I don’t want to! I just want a divorce and to be left the hell alone!”

“You won’t get any peace for at least two years, Y/N,” your Mother sighed, leaning back into her chair. “The family name-”

“The family name, the family name, THE FAMILY FUCKING NAME!” you screamed and she rolled her eyes.

“No one knows what happened, no one knows that you kicked him out, and no one know that he...”

“That he fucking beat me? He fucking beat me, Mom. He pinned me down and beat the shit out of me. That’s what fucking happened. That’s what you’re asking me to go back to.”

“Y/N, the family name doesn’t need to wrapped in another scandal,” she sobbed.

“I just want a fucking divorce!”

“It will be everywhere! Your Father is about to retire and he’s had an amazing career! Your divorce from Jack-”

“Do you hear how selfish you sound?!”

“Yes, and I’m sorry, but this isn’t about just you. You may have Jack’s last name, but you carry the family name-”

“How much longer do I have to put up with this?”

“Y/N, just take the money and have fun,” your Father sighed. “Linda Drysdale is still married to Richard, isn’t she? He cheated, she gave him a black eye, and they’re fine now!”

“So, that’s supposed to be my life now?”

“It could be a lot worse,” your Mother sniffed as you ashed your cigarette.

“Do you two even love each other?”

“Love is a complicated thing, sweetheart,” she muttered, looking away from you and turning her attention to your garden. “Your roses look like they’ll come in nice this year.”

“They’ll be the only thing,” you practically whispered as you looked up to your bedroom window, knowing the window is open and Ransom heard everything.

Fuck.

“So, you’re just gonna take him back? Because your parents asked nicely?” Ransom asked as soon as you got back into the bedroom.

“Please don’t-”

“Baby-”

“It’s what’s expected of me, Ransom. What do you want me to do?”

“Whatever the fuck makes you happy!”

“I’m not you! I can’t just-”

“You can do whatever the fuck makes you happy! You can do whatever the fuck you want!”

“Why does it matter so much to you?!”

“BECAUSE WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER!”

“THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD’VE SAID SOMETHING AT THE WEDDING YOU WERE ALL TOO HAPPY TO BE APART OF!” you yelled, instantly regretting it once you feel the pain in your ribs. “Goddammit!”

“Are you okay?” he questioned, making his way to your side almost instantly.

“Jesus, why do you have to go and prove them all wrong?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why are you so fucking sweet and kind to me?”

“I already told you,” he smirked as he helped you over to the bed, “I like you a lot more than I should.”

It’s not lost on you that Ransom is someone you shouldn’t trust, but he just makes you so damn happy, to the point that he makes you feel like this is something you should try. Do you love the man? No the fuck you don’t. Do you like him more than you should?

Obviously.

Jack lets out a frustrated sigh as he runs his hand through his hair, “I can go with you.”

“That would imply that I want you to come at all.”

“I want to fix this.”

“There’s nothing to fix, Jack. I don’t want you or this marriage anymore, and you won’t give me what I want-”

“If my parents can make it work, so can we!”

“Does no one fucking listen to me when I talk? I DON’T WANT TO BE MARRIED TO YOU ANYMORE! I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!”

“In time-”

“I’ve gotta go or I’ll miss my flight,” you interrupt, grabbing your suitcase and starting out of the room.

“Y/N, is there someone else?”

“What would it matter if there was?”

“We can’t work this out if you’re with-”

“I’m gonna stop you there,” you laugh, “I’ll see you in a week. Try not to burn down the fucking house during one of your drug fueled binges, and whatever girls you bring back, make sure they take all their clothes with them when they leave.”

“You weren’t always this fucking cruel.”

“And you weren’t always a pile of shit. Well, maybe you were, I was just to naive to see it.”

“Y/N-” “Bye.”

You practically speed to the airport, and you know there’s no need to, but you just need to get the fuck out of Massachusetts for a while. That, and you’re anxious to see Ransom. You don’t like the way you two left things and you want to smooth things over.

You also want to figure out what the hell you’re doing.

“I already heard it from Daisy, I don’t need to hear it from you too,” you sighed as Ransom made his way back into the bedroom from the connecting bathroom.

“So, that’s it? You’re just gonna go back to him?”

“Ransom, please!”

“You have a fucking choice!”

“You? Leave him and be with you?”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing!”

“I don’t fucking know you well enough-”

“Whose fucking fault is that?! We’ve been in the same house for four days! I keep telling you that I’m an open book to you and you refuse-”

“I’m married, Ransom!”

“You’re marriage is pretty fucking shit, and you keep hiding behind that for what? To make Mommy and Daddy happy?”

“Oh, fuck off!”

“Stop doing what they want you to!”

“Be like you and don’t give a fuck about anyone’s feelings?”

“I give a fuck about yours for whatever reason!”

“No one ever fucking told you to!”

“So this is done?”

“What even is this?!”

“You tell me!”

“Ransom, I swear to God!”

“You don’t even want to be with him, Y/N! You don’t want him like you want me, you don’t crave him like you crave me, and you damn sure don’t care for him like you care for me.”

“Stop it!”

“What? You’re gonna play house with him and keep fucking me on the side? Gonna keep wanting me, but not actually committing to me?!”

“You don’t even want to commit to anyone! Look at that fucking ring on your pinky!”

“Fuck this ring!” he yelled, taking it off and throwing it across the room. “I want to commit to you!”

“Stop it, Ransom. Just fucking stop it! I’m not some fucking toy-” “Then stop fucking playing around!” he shouted.

“You need to go,” you sniffled as you dried your eyes. “I have to call Jack and tell him-”

“That you’ll continue to fucking pretend. Yeah, fucking got it.”

“Ransom-” “Fuck you. Fuck all of this. I’m done,” he spat before storming out.

The first real fight you two ever had, and it was all because you couldn’t find the courage to stand up for yourself. Yes, he was right, but what the fuck are you supposed to do? Since you were born, your family has drilled it into your head that it’s up to you to make the family look good. You’re the only child your parents had, so you have to be perfect. Always be polite, stay on top of your grades, get into the best schools, be the best at sports, be the best debater....you have to be perfect. With Jack, you genuinely thought you got lucky because he acted like he actually wanted to be with you. He made you believe that your marriage would be what you’d always wanted.

With Ransom...it’s been complicated since he kissed you. Hes never shied away from the fact that he’s an asshole. Maybe that’s why you should trust him. No, none of this is ideal, but at least hes always been up front with you (as far as you know). Yeah, he fucked Daisy, but he didn’t lie about it and he told you that he knew he was wrong. He beat up your husband because he beat you up, and then was so fucking gentle with you; both physically and emotionally. Ransom has his faults, but it’s not lost on you that his feelings for you are genuine.

Which is probably why he text you a week after your argument.

Part Time Lover: March 12th to the 20th , we’ll be in Chicago. I booked us a suite at the Eurostars Magnificent Mile. I’ll see you there.

Y/N: How much do I owe you?

Part Time Lover: It’s on me.

Y/N: You don’t have to pay for this whole thing.

Part Time Lover: It was my idea for us to go away together, I should be the one to pay for it.

Y/N: I hurt you, it’s the least I can do.

Part Time Lover: I’m tougher than you think.

Y/N: I’m sorry, Ransom.

Part Time Lover: I’ll see you in Chicago.

And you haven’t spoken to him since. What are you even supposed to say?

‘Sorry for not being strong enough to leave my husband and jump into bed with you more often’?

You have no reason to commit to Ransom, but you want one so fucking bad. Being with Ransom makes you feel like you can finally breathe, and being without him feels like hell. You don’t exactly know when Ransom started meaning so much to you, but now he seems to be all that you think about.

As you board the plane, you try to empty your mind. You try and empty your mind. You have no expectations, you just want to have fun and be someone else for a while.

You just want to be with Ransom.

**

“Ransom, what did you do?” you ask on the phone as you make your way to elevator.

“I want us to have a good time, so I made sure we would.”

“Ransom-”

“Are you here?”

“I’m in the elevator now.”

“Good, get your ass up here.”

“Ransom-”

“Top floor, the nicest suite, get up here. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” you sigh with a small smile as you watch the numbers on the elevator go up and up. “You didn’t have to do all of-”

“Yes I did. I wanted to. You deserve the best and I’m gonna give it to you.”

“I don’t deserve all of this, Ransom,” you mutter as the elevator reaches the top floor.

“You deserve all of this and more.”

“I’m on our floor. I’ll see you-”

“I see you. Get your ass over here now,” he demands, but you can hear the smile in his voice.

You hang up before practically running to the room where you see his head poking out.

“Lets not argue ever again,” he laughs once you reach the suite.

“I like that a lot.”

“I missed you, Y/N.”

“I missed you too, Ransom....I’m sorry that all of this is such a shit show.”

“How was your flight?” he asks, stepping aside to let you in.

“Ransom, we should really talk about...holy shit,” you gasp as you take a look around. “What did you...”

“I don’t want to think about everything that went wrong. I missed you and you missed me so, lets just enjoy this.”

“Babe...you didn’t have to...this is so much.”

“Do you like it?” he asks softly, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“I love it.”

“Good,” he comments before kissing the shell of your ear. “Room service is on call 24/7, the river is right there,” he points to the window in the living area, “so we can watch them dye the river from here or we can go down there, I’ve found a million things for us to do-”

“Ransom, you didn’t have to do all of this.”

“Yes I did. You deserve everything and I want you to have it.”

“Ransom-”

“I’ll make us drinks, you look around,” he urges before letting go of you and making his way into the kitchen.

It’s like an apartment for the two of you. There’s a living area, a work space, the bathroom is gorgeous, the kitchen is unbelievable, and the bedroom is amazing. You park your suitcase by the doorway of the bedroom and make your way out onto the balcony and look over the city.

The fact that Ransom did all of this for you really has your mind blown.

“Do you like it?” Ransom asks as he comes outside, handing your drink and standing behind you.

“Ransom, this is amazing...I can’t believe you did all of this...”

“I did it for us.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s fine if you don’t wanna admit that there’s something between us, but I fucking know better, Y/N. You’re here, without much convincing, you’re happy, and you clearly don’t feel guilty about being here.”

“I just...”

“For now, just don’t think. Be here with me and be happy. I can make you so fucking happy if you’ll let me.” “You already make me happy, daddy,” you tell him seductively as turn around and face him.

“Yeah? I make my pretty girl happy?”

“Do you want me to show you just how happy you made me?” you ask, getting on your knees and undoing his pants.

“You don’t care that anyone can see you?”

“Do you care?”

“You know I’ll fuck you anywhere without hesitation.”

“Then you should let me show everyone just how happy you make me, daddy,” you moan, stroking him just a bit, “let me show you,” you beg before taking him into your mouth.

“Jesus sweetheart!” he grunts as he grips your hair. “Just can’t be a good girl anywhere I take you, huh? Fuck, suck it just like that, baby!” he moans, guiding you just a bit. “Bet you missed daddy’s cock so much, huh? Shit! Missed being so full?”

You moan in response as you pick up your pace, trying to hold off your own release.

“Shit, get up, baby! Let daddy make you feel good!” he grunts, gripping your hair tight as a way of getting you to stop.

“Wanna taste you!” you whimper, getting up only for Ransom to force you against the guard rail and push your dress up.

“We have more than enough time for that, sweetheart. Right now, daddy just wants to feel you,”  he demands as you groan, before he thrusts himself inside of you.

“FUCK!”

“Missed this tight little honeypot,” he broods as he fucks into you relentlessly.

“Oh my GOD! Please!”

“Feel good, baby? Missed daddy’s cock?”

“Oh my...yes, YES! Got off...Fuck Ransom!”

“Ya know, I think all of Chicago should see these tits too, don’t you?”

“Do whatever...oh fuck! I’m so close!” you moan as he rips the front on your dress. “Daddy!”

“You’re so fucking desperate for me, aren’t you?”

“Daddy...I need to...please!”

“Fucking say it!”

“I...I want...I want you all the time, Ransom! Jesus, I’m gonna fucking...please!”

“That desperate to cum, sweetheart?”

“I’ll do anything, just please let me cum!”

“My sweet little whore, make a a mess, baby!” he chuckles, playing with clit as he bites down on your shoulder.

“FUCK!” you scream, squirting hard and making a mess as he rides out your high.

“And to think, we’re just getting started,” he laughs, never missing a beat as he fucks into you like you just didn’t have a mind shattering orgasm.

Ransom keeps you on that balcony for at least an hour, before finally pulling you back into the bedroom; deciding that it would be kind to demolish you in private.

“Daddy, PLEASE!”

“Can’t take anymore, sweetheart?”

“Need to feel you! Mi...missed you so much!”

“Fuck! Give it to me! Give all of it”

“FUCK!” you scream out, squirting hard as you do your best to stay up right.

“Shit, sweetheart!” Ransom growls as he fills you to the brim, moaning as he pulls out and watches both of your releases spill out. “You’re amazing, baby.”

“You didn’t have to...you didn’t have to show me....,” you breathe, trying to form an actual thought as you collapse onto the bed.

No one will ever be able to make you as happy and full as he does.

“Are you happy?” he chuckles as he gets in next to you and pulls the cover over the both of you.

“Mhm” you mumble, resting your head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. “We should go eat.”

“Rest for now, we’ll eat after.”

“You must be hungry,” you yawn, trying your best to stay awake.

“When you get up. Sleep.”

“Thank you, Ransom. For all of this.”

“I’d do anything for you, sweetheart,” he promises softly before pressing a soft kiss into your hair. “Anything.”

Ransom’s P.O.V

“Your mommy pick out your shoes for you, Drysdale?” Tommy asked as he approached me on the playground.

“Leave me alone.”

“Gonna cry again? Gonna have your grandpa talk to my parents?”

“Leave me alone!”

“Cause you’re parents don’t-”

“He said to leave him alone, Tommy!” you shouted, hands on your hips and a scowl on your face.

Is it sad that I can still remember what you wore that day?

Your hair was in pigtails, you had on your blue dress with white polka dots, you had on black church shoes, and a white stockings.

I’d had a crush on you since the first time I saw, but I thought you looked especially cute that day.

“Stay outta this, Y/N!”

“Leave him alone, Tommy! You’re a big mean jerk, and Ransom hasn’t done anything to you!”

“You like him so much, why don’t you marry him?”

“Leave him alone or I’ll tell Miss Hendricks on you!”

“Tattletale! Whatever, both of you are stupid anyway!”

And with that, Tommy Smotts stormed off.

“Are you okay?” you asked softly, coming over to me in the sandbox.

I did the only thing I could think of: run off.

In my defense, you’re the one who came out of nowhere and actually spoke to me. Sure, we stared at each other a bunch, but neither of us actually ever said a fucking word to each other.

Why did I wait so fucking long to act on anything with you? No, I don’t chase anyone, ever, but you...you’ve always been the one I’ve wanted. Since that day you defended me, I’ve never been able to get you out of my head. I guess I always thought I had time, because you never seemed to talk to anyone besides Daisy. I always caught you looking at me, I could always feel you staring at me, so I just assumed I had time. I wanted to have my fun before approaching you, because I wanted to get it right. I don’t know what fucking hold you had over me (and still do), but I’ve only ever wanted to do right by you.

Then he took you.

“You get every woman you want, leave some for the rest of us,” Jack scoffed as we stood in my parent’s backyard, attending their party out of nothing other than obligation.

“Not every woman,” I slurred, looking over in your direction.

Maybe it was my fault. I still hadn’t said a fucking word to you, and Jack had no clue that I felt anything towards you, because I never talked about it, but God. You looked so fucking good that night. You always wore the most modest clothes, but you made them look so damn good. You always make everything look so damn good.

“Y/N?,” Jack scoffed incredulously before he took another sip of his drink. “What the fuck is so special about her? Yeah, she’s cute, but she doesn’t actually say anything, she dresses like a fucking nun-”

“Exactly; she’s different,” I snapped defensively.

You were mine, mentally, and I wasn’t about to let him talk shit about you.

“Oh Drysdale, you’ve got it bad.”

“Got what?”

“You’re in love with her!”

“I don’t even know her,” I muttered, lighting my cigarette.

A bold fucking lie.

“Then why so pushy?”

“I’m not being pushy about anything, I just don’t see the need to talk shit when she’s the only good one out of the bunch.”

“I can get her,” he chuckled as he looked you over.

“Yeah, okay.”

“What?”

“You’re a piece of shit, Jack. She’s never gonna fall for you.”

“I can be quite charming when I need to be.”

“Yeah sure.”

“Ransom, I bet you $10,000 that I can get her to say yes to a date with me.”

“You’re on,” I smirked, shaking his hand before taking another drag from my cigarette.

I never thought you’d actually fall for his shit, because you’re so much smarter than that. However, I’ve gotta give it to Jack, he’s a suave piece of shit when he wants to be.

It was only supposed to be one date though.

I could take losing the fucking money, but actually losing you?

“What the fuck are you doing?!” I snapped, pulling Jack into your parents’ kitchen.

“What are you talking about?!”

“It was supposed to be one fucking date! It’s been two fucking months!”

“What can I say? I like the girl,” he shrugged with a smug smirk.

“Jack, I swear to God-”

“You said you don’t love her, so what’s the big deal?”

“Fuck you,” I spat before storming out.

Before I knew it, you were fucking married to him. It only took that little fuck three months to fucking cheat on you, but he played the part of a loving husband well enough, until he couldn’t anymore.

You start to stir and I realize my phone is going off.

“Sleep,” I urge softly, kissing the top of your head before gently getting out of bed.

Throwing on my boxer briefs and a sweater, I grab my phone and my pack of cigarettes before stepping out onto the balcony.

“What?”

“Don’t fucking ‘what’ me!” Jack snaps and I laugh.

“Sound a little unhinged there, buddy.”

“Fuck you, Ransom! Is she with you?!”

“She who?” I chuckle, lighting a smoke.

“Don’t fucking play with me, Ransom!”

“Are you referring to your darling little wife?”

“You know damn well that I am!”

“Now, why would I know of her whereabouts?” I question, looking at you through the sliding glass door.

You have got to be the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

“This wasn’t part of our-”

“One, I don’t know where your wife is. Two, I’m not breaking anything that we agreed upon.”

“She’s mine, Ransom.”

“Maybe you don’t have the tight little hold on her that you thought you did.”

“We had an agreement!”

“No, we made a bet. Don’t get mad at me because you’re losing it. Maybe, if you didn’t fucking slap her around, you wouldn’t be so fucking worried!”

“That was one time and I feel awful-”

“Finding out that you turned into your parents does fucking suck, doesn’t it?”

“I’m nothing like my father!”

“Lets see: you cheat on your wife, you live off your wife, and you beat your wife. Sounds an awful lot like you turned out like your father.”

“Watch it, Drysdale,” he growls.

“Are you warning me?” I laugh. “I got away with one murder, so I’m not too fucking worried about you.”

“Back off!”

“Ahh, what’s the fun in that? The deadline is her birthday, isn’t it?”

“Ransom-”

“Fuck off, Jack. You wanna keep your wife? Fucking work for her then,” I bite before hanging up.

Yes, another bet was made in a vain attempt to get your love, but if I can make money and have you, why wouldn’t I? I’m going to tell you. I’m going to tell you everything, I just need to find the right time. After you get to know me a little more, which is tricky in its own way, I’ll explain everything.

I know no one would ever believe me, but I’d never fucking hurt you. I’ve never loved anyone, but I’m so fucking in love with you. I always have been. Hopefully, after this trip, you’re able to see that. I know I’ve fucked up and fucked around my whole life, but I just wanna get things right with you.

I just need you to give me a chance.

Y/N’s P.O.V

“Tell me something true,” you smile at Ransom as your second round of drinks arrive.

You ended up sleeping much longer than you intended to, and by the time you finally did wake up, it was time for dinner. Ransom was sweet, still making jokes at your expense, but told you that he had planned everything out. Which is why you’re now sitting at a five star restaurant, drinking more than you should and feeling happier than you ever have.

“You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had,” Ransom smirks and you burst out laughing.

“I’m serious! Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Well, there’s a lot,” he laughs with a shrug, “something you don’t know...I hate spiders and I hate centipedes.”

“Ransom Drysdale hates bugs?!”

“Don’t get so excited, I’ll stomp those fuckers out in a second,” he mutters and laugh again. “I know what you really wanna ask me though, so you may as well ask it.”

“Ransom-”

“I’m a big boy, I can take it.”

“Did you have something to do with Harlan’s death?”

“Technically? No. Fran? Yes. With Harlan, that just worked out in my favor. I could already tell that he was getting fed up with everyone, so I pretended to take an interest in Marta. He seemed to want her company and attention more than anyone else’s, so it didn’t take long for me to connect the dots. I wine and dined her, took her on a few trips, fucked her...I made her think I was in love. So, when Harlan and I had our little sit down and he told me he was leaving all of his money to her, I convinced her to split it with me. I told her everything he told me and was able to convince her that I had plans for a future together. Now, the medicine thing, that was just a stroke of pure luck. I don’t know who the hell switched the vials around, but Harlan ended up killing himself anyway. Marta got her money, as did I, and we both stayed out of jail. Fran? Well, she’d always been a nosey little cunt and she was pissing me off. Telling Marta to watch out for me and stay away...she had no reason to worry about what the fuck I was doing. So, I poisoned her,” he shrugs. “It’s not like it was all that hard. It’s amazing how easy it is to slip someone something when they think they’re safe in a room full of fucking vultures.”

“Ransom, that’s fucking awful.”

“You didn’t come on this trip thinking I was some boy scout,” he scoffs, taking a sip of his drink. “You’ve always heard about what a piece of shit I am.”

“I don’t believe everything I hear.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not fair. Everyone has their own story, everyone goes through shit, and everyone has their reason for doing what they do.”

“Have you always been this innocent?”

“You mean this fucking stupid? Yes,” you chuckle before sipping on your drink.

“You’re not stupid.”

“Yeah, you can say that. I’m here with you-”

“I mean it, Y/N. All of us are jaded because we have shitty parents. All of us except you. You’re kinder than any of us really deserve, you’re thoughtful, you’re sympathetic, you’re caring...the list goes on. Being a good person doesn’t make you stupid, it just makes you too good for the people you surround yourself with.”

“Then why don’t you do it?”

“I’m jaded, remember?” he smirks and you chuckle. “So, why did you decide to keep things going with me?”

“Besides the sex?” you question with a cocked eyebrow and he laughs. “I don’t know, you just make me happy. Genuinely happy. You’re sweet, kind, gentle, caring...all the things you don’t want people to know about you, you are with me in private.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything in school?”

“I saw the girls you dated,” you chuckle, “I didn’t stand a chance.”

“You were the only one I wanted.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t stand a chance,” he smiles at you. “What are you doing for your birthday?”

“Whatever Daisy has planned,” you laugh.

“What about Jack?”

“Jack hasn’t planned anything for my birthday since the day I said, ‘I do’. Daisy takes over every year, because she knows he isn’t going to do a single fucking thing.”

“Why do you stay with him?”

“It’s what...it makes my mom’s life easier, so I do it.”

“But you’re unhappy?”

“So what? What does that mean to me? She raised me. My dad was MIA and she put up with a ton-”

“She’s your parent. It’s her fucking job to be your parent-”

“She didn’t have to stay, Ransom,” you sigh. “She stayed for me. It’s not like she wouldn’t have gotten any money if she would have left him, and she would’ve gotten a good chunk of it too. She stayed for me. All of the hell that she endured, all of the gossip, the abuse...she didn’t want to leave me alone and she was a firm believer that a child needs two parents, because that’s what her parents instilled in her. My father was never terrible to me, he was just awful to her. She didn’t see the point in leaving if he was good to me. Which is why I’m so damn nice now, but also why I vowed to never end up in a marriage like hers. What a fucking joke that turned out to be,” you mumble, downing the rest of your drink.

“She’d want you to be happy then.”

“You heard her that day, Ransom. By not having a failed marriage, I am making her happy.”

“Your marriage has failed.”

“Ransom-”

“You deserve to be happy, Y/N. You do so much for everyone else all the time, you deserve to live a good life.”

“How do I know that you’re not trying to fuck me over like you did Marta?”

“I don’t need your money.”

“You didn’t need hers.”

“What was hers was originally mine.”

“How am I supposed to believe you? It’s not like you’ve ever shown any desire to do something with your life.”

“That was then, this is now.”

“What’s so different now?”

“I have you.”

“Ransom-”

“Listen, if you tell me to, I’ll buy you a ticket right now and you can go home.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious that I don’t want that.”

“Why stay?”

“You don’t bullshit me. You’re not hiding the worst parts of yourself to make me believe some version of you that doesn’t actually exist. You could be just like Jack, but you choose not to be. That and you just make me really fucking happy,” you smile at him.

“Lets get out out of here.”

“We haven’t eaten!” you laugh.

“Who cares? W e can eat wherever, lets just get the fuck out of here.”

“Are you drunk?”

“That I am,” he laughs and you laugh along with him, “but I just want to be out with you. Until you get a divorce, we can’t be out like this, and I like being this open with you. I like having you to myself. Lets just explore the fucking city.”

“You really are something else,” you smile at him.

“Let me show you just how much,” he smirks.

Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s because he’s so damn charismatic, but you find yourself following his lead.

It’s cold, but Ransom holds you close as you two walk around and take in the sights. You both take turns asking each other questions, engaging in conversations about politics and basic human rights (Ransom’s opinion falling on that he doesn’t care as long as it works out for him), eating at random stands (hot dog, pretzel, and a burger one), and somehow ending up at a Jazz club. The entire time, Ransom keeps surprising you with just how thoughtful and sweet he is, and it has you re-thinking everything. Maybe he is worth all the risk. He wants to be committed to you and he’s excited about it.

Just maybe you got it right this time.

“It’s late and we need sleep,” you giggle as Ransom carries you on his back.

“Do we really?”

“Ransom.”

“Alright, we’ll head back, but I have a full week planned for us.”

“Hugh Ransom Drysdale, what the hell did you do?”

“Just you wait and see.”

**

The week you spend with Ransom is the best week you’ve ever had. After talking him into actually going down to the river to watch them dye it, he took you out for lunch, and he was shamelessly sweet to you. He kissed you whenever he got a chance, held your hand, paid for everything (even though you told him multiple times that you can pay for yourself), he pulled you into the bathroom and fucked you senseless at every bar you two went to, and he made sure to make it known that you’re his and his alone.

The whole week felt like a dream. Every day was a new adventure and Ransom made sure to never disappoint.

“Lets extend our trip another week,” he suggests as he gets in bed next to you.

“Ha ha,” you mumble as you continue typing away on your laptop.

“Why can’t we?”

“We have lives to get back to...well, I have a life to get back to.”

“I know they’re things we have to do, but the world hasn’t set itself on fire yet. We can stay.”

“What could you possibly have to do?”

“Don’t be rude.”

“You don’t have a fucking job,” you laugh.

“I run the publishing company.”

“Uh huh, with Walt’s help.” “I pay Walt, don’t I?”

“Sure daddy,” you giggle as he closes your laptop.

“Tell me you don’t wanna stay longer,” he coos before kissing your shoulder.

“Of course I want to, but we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Ransom,” you moan, feeling his hand making its way between your legs.

“Why can’t we stay?”

“We have...oh fuck,” you sigh as you lull your head back.

“I wanna stay with you for another week, baby.”

“Ransom...”

“Never been this happy,” he groans as he starts massaging your clit faster.

“Please...fuck!”

“Never felt so good.”

“Ransom...you know we have to go back.”

“Then stop working and let me show you how happy you’ve made me this week.”

“Baby-”

“Please, sweetheart.”

“Fuck!” you squeal, cumming hard as he massages your neck with his tongue. “Baby, please!”

“You want me, sweetheart?” he questions, starting to fuck you with his fingers

“I always want you, Ransom!”

“Why? Why do you keep me around? Hmm?”

“Don’t-”

“Say it, after all we’ve talked about this week...tell me,” he pleads.

“I...I love you, Ransom.”

“Say it again.”

“Fuck, I love you, Ransom! I love you so much”

“I love you too, sweetheart! I always have!”

“Shit!” you cry out as squirt hard on his fingers.

“You always make such a pretty mess for me, baby.”

“Ransom...”

“I wanna show you just how much I love you,” he moans as pulls out his fingers out, licking them before shoving them into your mouth. “Will you let me?”

You just is nod as you suck and lick his fingers clean.

Almost instantly, Ransom has you topless and on your back; kissing his way down your body as you beg him not to stop.  

“I’ve waited so long to hear you say it, baby,” he hums before licking your clit. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

“I need you so much, baby,” you whimper as he starts fucking you with his tongue. “Only wanna be with you!”

You grip his hair tight as he picks up his pace and starts teasing your clit with his thumb, and you start grinding your pussy against his face.

“Ransom...oh fuck! Honey, I’m so fucking close!” you cry out, your toes curling as you try to hold on.

All he does is pick up his pace, which sends you into a earth shattering orgasm, screaming his name as you come apart.

“So desperate, baby. Desperate to be loved?” he smirks after cleaning up the mess you made.

“Just...just wanna be yours, Ransom.”

“I want you to be mine and mine alone,” he mumbles he licks and kisses his way back up your body.

“Please don’t...I’m not strong enough to get hurt again.”

“I don’t ever wanna hurt you, baby. Just wanna take care of you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he husks, stopping to lick and suck on one of your nipples, while his one hand pinches and massages the other.

“Ah fuck!”

“When we get home,” he broods as he resumes kissing up your body, “you’re moving in with me and leaving that piece of shit.”

“Ransom-”

“You know you want to. You know you belong with me,” he encourages as he thrusts himself inside of you.

“Oh my GOD!”

“Feel so fucking good, baby!”

“Ransom we can’t...we have to...fuck! That’s the spot!” you whimper, hooking your right leg around his waist as you start to move with him. “Fuck, I need you so much!”

“Say you’ll come and live with me, baby! Don’t know how long...fuck! This fucking pussy!”

“I’m so close!”

“Say it, sweetheart! Say you’ll stay with me!”

“Ransom, I...I...ah shit! I can’t hold on!”

“Cunt always fucking squeezes me so tight!”

“Fuck!” you scream, digging your nails into his back as you squirt hard, your back arching just a bit as you fade into your euphoric state.

“Jesus fuck, Y/N!” Ransom growls into your neck right before biting down on it and gripping the sheets tight as his release fills you.

You both lay there for a moment, trying to catch your breaths as Ransom rides out both your highs, and you try to form a complete thought.

“I love you, Y/N,” Ransom breathes out. “I love you and you love me, just be with me.”

“You know it’s not that simple.”

“Why isn’t it? You don’t owe anyone shit.”

“Ransom-”

“Do you want to be with me?”

“You know I do!”

“Then just say yes, baby.”

“Ransom...I have to think about it.”

“What is there to think about?”

“Everything,” you laugh humorlessly. “We just started this and I’m still...I’m still working on trusting you.”

“Even after-”

“You said so yourself, we can’t be like this when we get back home. We’re away from everyone and everything on this trip, and while it’s absolutely perfect, it’s not reality. I can’t be dumb about this. Not again.”

“I’m not Jack.”

“You played with Marta’s heart for money and killed Fran. You’re not a fucking saint. Ransom.”

“That’s fair,” he laughs, “but I love you. I have loved you for so long and if you just give me a chance...I can show you. I can be the man you want. The man you can trust.”

“If we can keep on track like we are, which I know won’t be easy,-” you state before he has a chance to interrupt, “then I’ll happily move in and divorce Jack.”

“You’re annoying.”

“You can always go and find someone less annoying.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he smirks and you burst out laughing. “If you say you need time, I’ll give you time. I am serious though, Y/N. I’ve never loved anyone besides you, and it’s never going to stop. I want to be with you forever.”

“I believe you, baby. I love you too. So fucking much,” you smile at him; wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close for a passionate kiss, giggling when you feel him stir back to life.

“I think you’re done working for the day,” he breathes once you two break apart, starting to move within you again; that infamous smug smirk tugging at his lips.

“Ransom,” you moan with a small laugh.

“It’s our last full day here, lets end it with a bang,” he pouts as you start cracking up.

You and Ransom spend the rest of the day making love and ordering room service. The only time he lets you out of his arms when you have to go to the bathroom, and the second you get back, he’s back to holding you and putting on whatever movie you feel like watching.

As the day winds down, and you both begrudgingly get ready to leave tomorrow, your heart is full and hopeful. Yes, the week you’ve spent with him has been perfect and a complete dream, but you still have your reservations. It’s not like you don’t believe him, but once people get back around their comfort spaces, they tend to fall back into their old habits.

Good and bad.

“You’re thinking pretty fucking hard, sweetheart,” Ransom mumbles, causing you to jump.

“I thought you were sleeping,” you laugh softly.

“No one can sleep with how much noise is going on in your head.”

“How can you tell?”

“Your heart rate is slightly faster than usual, you breathe a lot easier when you’re asleep, and your index finger is making little circles on my hip; something you only do when you can’t sleep. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, go back to sleep.”

“Talk to me.”

“I just...I want this to work. I want to be with you and I want to trust you, but-”

“I’m not a fool, sweetheart. I know that I have a lifetime to make up for, and a lot to prove. You need time and I get that. For now, just be here with me. Live in the moment and worry about tomorrow when it gets here. I love you and you love me. We’ll figure this out, okay? Just rest of now.”

‘For now, just be here with me.’

If only it were that simple.

“I love you, Ransom.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Just try and rest, okay?”

“I’ll do my best,” you tell him reassuringly

As you do your best to silence your thoughts, one thing keeps coming to mind:

How the hell do you determine if Ransom truly means everything he says, or if he has some ulterior motive?

How can you tell in Ransom’s love is true?

**

“Babe, where is your head at?” Daisy asks as you two get ready for whatever the hell she has planned for your birthday.

“Did you invite Ransom to whatever the hell it is you planned tonight?” you ask, smoothing your hands over your dress.

“Yes?”

“Fucking hell.”

“Okay, what the hell is going on? You’ve been in a weird head space since you two got back from your trip in March.”

“I just...he was so patient, but now it feels like he’s rushing me.”

“Rushing you to what?”

“Make a choice.”

“It’s only been a month and a half!?”

“That’s what I said.”

“To which he said...?”

“We’ve been arguing for the last two weeks,” you mutter, sitting down on her bed with a heavy sigh as you remember the last big argument you two had.

“What the fuck else do you want me to do?!” Ransom yelled, getting out of bed and pulling on his boxer briefs.

“Ransom, you told me you’d give me time!”

“Haven’t I?! How much more time-”

“It’s only been a month!”

“It took you a lot less time-”

“I’d advise you to think hard before you finish that fucking statement,” you warned.

“I don’t see why you can’t just trust me!”

“Because you’re right, Ransom!” you yelled at him as you sat up. “I mindlessly gave myself to Jack, and now look!”

“You know it’s not the same with me!”

“Ransom-”

“I haven’t fucked anyone besides you, I haven’t given my attention to anyone besides-”

“That’s not enough! A month isn’t long enough-”

“We would be able to explore this further if you’d fucking leave him!”

“I’m going home!” you yelled, getting out of his bed and looking for whatever piece of clothing he hadn’t torn off you when you got there. “Goddammit! I need a fucking-”

“If you’d just move in, you wouldn’t need to fucking-”

“Ransom, I swear to God!”

“You don’t love him, Y/N! At least, not anymore! You spend all of your free time here, you don’t even fuck him anymore, you can’t sleep when you’re away from me-”

“Ransom-”

“Just fucking be with me!”

“Why are you pushing this so much?!”

“Because I fucking love you!”

“Then you would be patient!”

“If you loved me, you would just trust me!”

“I’m not having this fucking argument with you again! Just give me some fucking clothes and let me-”

“If you leave this time, don’t fucking come back, Y/N. I’m not gonna keep doing this shit with you, cause you’re a fucking coward!”

“Then I guess this is done,” you shrugged.

“Y/N, I fucking mean it!”

“Me too. If you’re gonna fucking bully me, I guess this is the end of this!”

Ransom went two weeks without talking to you before texting you:

‘You know I didn’t mean it. Just fucking come home.’

Aka

“I’m sorry.”

You, in all your stubborn glory, refused to see him, which only resulted in another argument.

You’re too stubborn, he’s a jackass, you’re afraid of everything, he’s too much of a hot headed shit head to see when he’s wrong, you’re a bitch, he’s an complete asshole...

So on and so on.

You weren’t sure if he’d want anything to do with your birthday, because he’d been so...

“Is he coming?” you ask Daisy.

“He said he was.”

“For fucks sake!”

“What did I do wrong?!”

“It’s not you, it’s he and I. We’re having the world’s dumbest fucking fight and I don’t know...I miss him so much, but he’s such a fucking asshole sometimes. And I get it, okay? I do. I put him in a shitty spot, I’m still married and he’s trying to figure if I’m going to pick him or not, but I’m just fucking scared. Yes, Ransom has been up front with me about everything, but I trusted Jack so fast and now look.”

“Do you want my input?”

“No, but I know it would help.”

“Bitch,” she smirks, taking a seat next to you and you chuckle. “I believe that Ransom loves you. I’ve seen him out and he doesn’t even look at other women, the rumor mill says that he’s actually taken a hands on roll with the company, he’s made some pretty smart investments, and I can tell that he wouldn’t be so upset about this if he didn’t have real feelings for you. I know it’s scary, but just take the leap. It’s painfully obvious that you love him, and hes been in love with you...”

“I just don’t want to get-”

“Babe, if he fucks you over, I’ll chop his fucking balls off. Scouts honor.”

“You were never a scout?”

“But I really wanted to be,” she sighs and you burst out laughing. “Just be with him, the man is so in love with you...I think you’ll be happy. I actually believe that he’ll be good to you, which is insane because he’s a piece of shit, but he seems to want to change for you. Just tell him. Tell him you love him and you want to be with him.”

“You really think he’s worth it?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” she laughs softly as you lay your head on her shoulder.

“What if it all goes to shit?”

“Then we’ll figure it out together, just like we always have.”

“I feel like birthdays are supposed to be happier than this.”

“Especially when it’s your 30th ,” she giggles.

“If this is a shit show-”

“Oh, we’re totally going to Five Guys.”

“You know me so well,” you smile as she cracks up.

As you both finish up getting ready, you try to ignore the feeling in your stomach that tells you something is going to go wrong. All that matters is that you love Ransom and he loves you, because that’s more than enough....

Right?

**

Daisy surprised you with a party at your absolute favorite restaurant. The place is so damn expensive, so you only go on special occasions, and Daisy told you that another year of you existing is the most important thing that anyone could ever celebrate.

You started crying before you got your first drink.

Soon enough, the drinks were flowing, people were eating and dancing, and everyone was instantly becoming more comfortable with each other.

“Isn’t your boss married?” Daisy asks with a slight slur as she approaches you with two drinks in hand.

“I mean, I am too,” you scowl, hating how jealous you are at the sight of her shamelessly flirting with Ransom.

“Not really.”

“Do not start.”

“Oh come on!”

“You’re the one that invited him and his parents! I didn’t know anything about this!”

“I invited them out of obligation, and I’m fucking regretting it, because Jack’s mom is being a fucking bitch to the staff,” she mutters with an eye roll. “Ah fuck, Ransom’s coming over.”

“Daisy, please don’t let him-”

“You have to face him at some point, babe.”

“On my birthday?!” “You’re the one that’s been avoiding him. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too, babe,” she laughs, kissing your cheek then walking off.

“I guess I know what you two were talking about,” he sighs as he comes up behind you.

“I don’t wanna argue with you tonight, Ransom. I really don’t.” “Can you please look at me?”

“No, because then everyone will know.”

“Is that so wrong?”

“Can we not have this talk here, where literally anyone can hear. Besides, Jack looks pissed enough as it is. He’s been on edge all day.”

“I’ll bet he has,” Ransom chuckles.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Take a walk with me.”

“Ransom-”

“You’re the one who wants to talk in private.”

“I can’t just-”

“I won’t take you out of here unless you ask me,” he promises and you roll your eyes.

“Fine,” you sigh, finally turning around but not looking at him, “lead the way.”

You feel Jack’s eyes on you, as well as your parents, and you can feel a storm brewing. The last thing you need is for anyone finding you and Ransom doing something you shouldn’t, so in this moment, you tell yourself that nothing can happen.

Once you two reach the coat check, he stands aside to the side to let you, following right behind you and closing the door.

‘Nothing can happen,’ you tell yourself mentally.

“Ransom, I know I shouldn’t have just-”

He interrupts you with a passionate and soul stealing kissing and you don’t even put up a fight.

‘God, that didn’t last long, did it?’

“I’ve missed you,” he breathes once you two break apart, lifting the bottom of your dress up.

“I’ve missed you too, but Ransom...oh fuck!” you whimper, the feel of his fingers on your clit make you feral.

“Come home, sweetheart,” he begs, slowly and easily sliding two fingers into your already soaked cunt.

“Ransom....oh fuck!” you moan, lulling your head back.

“We can make this work, I’ll take care of you, and I won’t let any of those fucks hurt you. I love you,” he broods before starting to bite and suck on your sweet spot right below your ear

“Jesus Ransom!”

“Missed having you in my bed, in my arms...underneath me....on the balcony,” he breathes, and you feel his smirk on your neck.

“Feels too fucking...fuck!” you cry out softly, cumming hard and feeling the pleasure that only he can make you feel.

God, you missed him.

“You let him fuck you, baby?” Ransom questions, fucking you through your high with his fingers before ripping your panties off.

“N-no baby, I only want you,” you whine, needing him to fill you in the worst way possible.

“Cause you’re mine?” he asks, undoing his pants before hoisting you up, and you instinctively wrap your legs around him. “You’re all mine?” he grunts as thrusts himself inside of you.

“Oh fuck!”

“Tell me, sweetheart! Tell me you’re all mine!”

“I’m all...all yours! I only want to be with you!” you moan. “Fuck, missed you so much, baby!”

“Never wanna sleep without you again! I love you so fucking much!” thrusting hard fast, gripping you like he’s afraid you’re going to vanish into thin air.

“Oh fuck! Ransom!”

“Let them hear you, sweetheart! Let them know you’re mine!”

“Ransom-”

“C’mon baby, you know you want me! You choose me!” he encourages as he finds that spot within you that always brings you to the state of pure bliss that no one else has ever been able to.

You push yourself out of the euphoric high you’re close to and force yourself to think about the conversation you had with Daisy. You do love Ransom. You love him so much it makes you insane (or maybe it’s just him that makes you insane), and you don’t want to spend another day without him. Yes, they’re are issues and it’s definitely not picture perfect, but you’re willing to work out the issues.

You want to work them out.

“Fuck, I’m yours, Ransom! Yours only!” you yell as you squirt hard, wrapping your arms around him tight as you try and hold on.

“Fuck!” he growls into your chest as fills you to brim, like always, making you so full and happy.

So fucking loved.

“I mean it, sweetheart,” he husks after riding out both your highs, “I want you home. I want you by my side. They’re things we need to talk about, I know that, but I’m tired of this. I love you.”

“I love you too, Ransom, with all of my heart.”

“We’ll leave now and-”

“I can’t just leave Jack without saying anything. I at least-”

“You don’t owe him shit. Lets just fucking go.”

“It’s my birthday party.”

“Daddy has gifts for you at home,” he smirks and you burst out laughing.

All hell is about to break loose, but he still makes you laugh like an idiot. God, you are so in love with this man.

“You know they heard us, we have to-”

“We don’t have to do a single fucking thing we don’t feel like doing.”

“Ransom-”

“Fuck all of these-”

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, RANSOM!” Jack demands as he bangs on the coat check door.

So much for having a happy birthday.

“Fuck!” you sigh as Ransom pulls out and slowly sets you down.

“Hey, you have nothing to be scared of. He’s not gonna lay a fucking finger on you, I swear.”

“I don’t want you getting into a-”

“OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR, RANSOM! I SWEAR TO GOD!” Jack demands as Ransom pulls up his boxer briefs and pants.

“It’s gonna be fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry,” Ransom promises with a reassuring smile.

He makes it so damn hard to not trust him.

“Fuck off, Jack,” Ransom warns as soon as he opens the door.

“Fuck you, Drysdale!” he spits, doing his best push him aside, but failing miserably. “The fuck did he say to you, huh? What the fuck did he promise you?!”

“Jack, you know this marriage has been dead for a while-”

“No! You and I...I know I haven’t been the best-”

“Jack, please don’t do this. It’s just over-”

“Y/N-” Jack interrupts as he tries to make his way to you.

“Don’t you fucking touch her,” Ransom growls.

“What are you gonna do? Not a single fucking thing, because I bet you didn’t tell her the fucking truth.”

“Shut the fuck up! That wasn’t apart of our agreement!”

“It wasn’t an agreement, remember? It was a bet,” Jack smiles sadistically.

Okay, what the fuck is going on?

“What’s he talking about, Ransom?” you ask, backing away from him as your heart to starts to fall apart.

“Listen, lets just go home and we’ll talk all about-”

“Tell her the fucking truth, Ransom! It’s not like you won her heart fair and square-”

“STAY OUT OF THIS!” he roars at Jack.

So much for not having your business out in the open.

“Ransom....no...I was a fucking bet to you? This is all a fucked up game to you?”

“I swear it’s not, if you’ll just hear me out-”

“It’s been a bet from day one,” Jack chuckles humorlessly, “since our first fucking date. What was it? $10,000 I won off of you?”

“Shut the fuck up right now,” Ransom warns before turning his attention back towards you. “I swear to God, I was gonna tell you tonight when we got home-”

“We don’t have a fucking home,” you sob, finally putting the pieces together. “So, that’s why you were pushing me to pick you? What? Was there a deadline for me to pick one of you?”

When they both stood there completely silent, you let out an incredulous  laugh.

Of fucking course.

“MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY OF ALL DAYS?!” you shout. “Of course, because the both of you are sick fucks, it makes all the sense in the fucking world!”

“Sweetheart, please, lets just go back-”

“How much was I worth? How much was my love and affection worth?!”

“Y/N, please-”

“HOW FUCKING MUCH, RANSOM?!”

“$40,000,” he replies softly, looking away from you.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re fucking ashamed now! You knew what the fuck you were doing, but it’s all the same to you, isn’t it? I’m just another Marta?”

“This is not the same thing!”

“People really don’t matter to either one of you, do they? We’re all just a giant Monopoly game to you? Who cares who gets hurt as long as you all get your fucking money, right? Your happiness is all that matters?”

“Please, lets just go...I’ll explain everything-”

“There’s nothing to fucking explain, Ransom! Not a single fucking thing! You won, fair and square, so I guess you get your money! Right, Jack? I was gonna leave you for him, so he gets paid?”

“Honey-”

“Don’t you dare fucking ‘honey’ me,” you warn with a low growl. “I have put up with hell during this fucking marriage, because you fucking knew I wouldn’t leave to spare my family, but you had to go and fucking bet on it?! I mattered that little to you?! Yeah no, I’m done with the both of you. I can’t fucking do any of this anymore. Pay him his money, sign the fucking papers, and the both of you can fuck off and go straight to hell,” you scowl before pushing past the both of them and storming out.

“Y/N, please just-”

“Jack, I swear to fucking Christ, you put your hands on me and I’ll fucking stab you!”

“Please, just...I know it’s all fucked, but I do love you!”

“That’s why you’re cheating all the fucking time?! That’s why you tried to sleep with my best friend?!”

“I can do better-”

“You’re pathetic and I’m tired. I want a fucking divorce and that’s final.”

“Sweetheart, please just-”

“I fucking hate you, Ransom!” you yell, stopping and turning your full attention towards him.

“You don’t mean that!” he retorts as his eyes start to well up with tears. “You love me just as much as I love you!”

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! NOT ANYMORE!” you scream as angry tears start streaming down your face. “I DON’T BELIEVE A SINGLE FUCKING THING YOU HAVE TO SAY! YOU’RE JUST AS BAD AS THE REST OF THEM!”

“Baby-”

“Don’t fucking ‘baby’ me! I’m not your fucking anything! I was just a toy to get you more money and now you have it! Leave me alone and stay the fuck away fuck from me!”

“You know how much I-”

Ransom’s cut off by a fist to the face by Daisy.

“She said she’s fucking done! Leave her alone!” Daisy snaps at both Ransom and Jack.

“Daisy, you know good and damn well-”

“Jack, I’ve been begging for a fucking reason to fucking kill you! Say one more fucking thing and tonight will be that fucking night!” she warns before taking your hand and leading you out of the restaurant with her. “What do you want? What do you need?” she asks as you two make your way to her car.

“Can I just stay with you?” you sob.

“Anything you want, babe,” she promises, starting her car with her key fob before opening the door for you.

The entire drive to her house, you just cry and scream; trying to figure out how you got mixed up in all of their bullshit. Your phone won’t stop going off, and you know it’s Ransom. Yeah, you’re sure that Jack is trying to talk to you too, but it’s mainly Ransom. The tears in his eyes, the way he looked at you, the way he loved you...

It’s Ransom.

“It’s going to be okay,” Daisy promises as she pulls up to her, resting her hand on you thigh.

“I really don’t think so this time. I love him so much and I believed...I believed in every fucking thing he said.”

“Which one?”

“Ransom. Its always been Ransom.”

**

“You don’t think you could ever see yourself settling down and being a house wife?” Ransom asked as he held you close and you rested your head on his chest.

You’d taken a day off from sight seeing in Chicago and just spent the day in bed with Ransom. Fucking, talking, laughing, watching movies, and getting to know each other.

It was the best fucking day you’d ever had.

“Why should I want to?”

“I could take care of you.”

“What? Are you bothered by how much money I make?”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” he scoffed with a shrug, “I just know you’ve been working hard for forever, and I think you’d like to just sit back and relax.”

You were thoughtful before you responded with, “I guess...if I’m comfortable enough...if I trust the guy enough, then yeah. I could be a housewife.”

“Could you see yourself trusting me enough?” he asked timidly.

You looked up and smiled at him, “maybe.”

“What are we doing today?” Daisy asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You’d been staying with her for the last month and it had been a whirlwind to say the least.

“I figured I’d sign on the house, then get a bunch of furniture.”

“Did Jack finally sign the fucking papers?”

“Yeah, and I can only believe he did because you slashed his tires and destroyed his car.”

“He’s lucky I didn’t slash his fucking throat when he popped up here.”

“A bold move considering how much you hate him. How much you’ve always hated him.”

Jack waited three days before showing up to Daisy’s house; deciding he had a right to start making demands.

“You have to talk to me, Y/N! I’m your fucking husband!” he shouted, standing on the top step of Daisy’s house.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” she yelled, letting go of you and making her way to the window, “FUCK OFF!”

“She’s my fucking wife, Daisy! Stay out of this!”

“Jack, I swear to God I’ll beat the shit out of you myself!”

“It’s not like she’s fucking innocent! Letting Ransom use her as his own personal fuck doll!”

“I’m gonna murder him,” Daisy muttered before backing away from the window and storming out of the room.

“Daisy! Daisy, stop it!” you shouted, getting up and running after her.

“This is my house and I’m telling you to get the fuck out of here!” she roared as soon as she opened the front door.

“You’re keeping my wife in there-”

“Jack, I swear to God! I punched Ransom in the fucking face and I’ll punch you too!”

“I’m not fucking afraid of a little who-”

The sound of Daisy’s fist connecting with Jack’s nose made you jump.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU BROKE MY NOSE!”

“You want a fucking black eye to go with it?! Get off of my property! I’m not as fucking nice as Y/N! I will call the cops and press charges! Now, get the fuck off of my property!”

“This isn’t fucking over,” he growled before storming off.

“Daisy, he can press charges!” you yelled as soon as she slammed the door shut.

“I wish he fucking would, he was on my goddamn property, uninvited, making demands, and screaming. I’ll tell the cops I was fearing for my life,” she shrugged. “Are you okay?”

“Daisy-”

“Are you okay?”

“I will be, thank you,” you sighed as your eyes started to water. “I love you.”

“I love you too, hun,” she smiled weakly as wrapped you in a tight hug. “Lets order Chinese and watch Hereditary.”

“You always know the right things to say,” you laughed and she laughed along with you.

Two days later, he dropped off a hospital bill and she just laughed, saying,

“He’s a fucking lunatic if he thinks I’m paying for his fucking nose. He can take me to fucking court. My dad is a better lawyer than his is anyway.”

A week later, he called you screaming about the divorce papers and, once again, you just begged him to sign them. As usual, he told you no and that you two could work through all of it.

“Oh, he’s gonna sign those fucking papers,” Daisy muttered, getting up and putting her shoes on.

“How the hell are gonna get him to agree to that?” you scoffed as you threw your phone down.

“I’m gonna wreck his precious little Porsche.”

“Yeah okay,” you laughed before laying back and flipping through channels. However, your demeanor changed when you saw her grab her switchblade. “DAISY!”

“Be back in a little, darling!” she called over her shoulder as she practically skipped down the steps.

30 minutes later, she was back with a look of pure satisfaction on her face.

“Daisy-”

“He should be signing those papers any day now.” “What did you do?!”

“Oh, ya know, slashed his tires, broke all his windows, smashed the windshield-”

“DAISY!”

“I can be just as crazy as him.”

“They’re gonna have you committed,” you laughed.

“If they haven’t caught me by now, they’ll never catch me.”

Three days later, your lawyer called you to tell that Jack returned the papers, signed and without fuss. You were excited to tell Daisy, but your parents decided that would be a good day to show up and try to talk to you.

Cause the universe can never let you have a good fucking day,

“You have to admit that you’re somewhat responsible for this. I warned you,” your Mother snapped.

“If you came here to talk me back into getting back with him, you’re too late. My lawyer already called me to tell me he signed the papers,” you shrugged as you lit a cigarette.

“Enough hasn’t happened?! Now you have to-”

“Leave her alone,” your Father sighed, reaching for your cigarettes and grabbing one of his own.

“For fucks sake! You’re a doctor! You know how bad-”

“God, just stop complaining for five fucking minutes, please!” your Father shouted, slamming his hand against the table it, and it caused both you and your Mother to jump.

“Listen Y/N,” your Father started, “obviously, we’re not proud and we’re not happy.”

“Dad-”

“Just hear me out. Fucking in a restaurant full of your family and friends? We raised you’d much better than that.”

Oh, if only he knew where else you and Ransom had been having fun.

“However, we understand. You and Jack...it should’ve been over a while ago and we...we shouldn’t have pushed for you to stay. Finding out that all of this was just a bet...lets just say that his Father exchanged a few words after you left,” he sighed before he took a drag from his cigarette. “Now, as for you and Ransom-”

“Do not bring him up,” you instantly snapped, taking a drag from your own cigarette.

“Y/N-”

“Drop it.”

“You can’t just-”

“Y/F/N, just leave it alone,” she urged softly.

You knew she would understand.

“Fine, anyway, as an apology, your Mother and I wanna pay for your new house.”

“Um thanks, but no thanks,” you scoffed before you took a final drag from your cigarette and ashed it.

“Sweet Pea, we’re trying to make up for this-”

“If you want to make up for things, maybe try just being better parents. It’s not that hard.”

“You have to understand-”

“No, you have to understand. I don’t ask either of you for anything, I take care of myself, and up until recently, I’ve stayed out of trouble. The moment I told you both about how bad things were getting, you made me feel like shit for wanting better. Then, when I rightfully filed for a divorce the first time, I got bullied into going back. He beat me the fuck up, and you both made excuses, blamed me, and pushed me back to him. I should’ve been your top priority and I wasn’t. I don’t want fancy gifts or money, I just want you two to be better parents,” you finished with a small sob as you dried your eyes. “Now, you two should leave. Daisy is gonna be home soon and you two are the last two people she wants to see.”

“We’ll call you in a few days,” is all your Mother said as they both got up.

When Daisy got home and crying, she didn’t even ask what was wrong, she just sat next to you and held you. It had become routine.

“Ya know, I’m happy that you let Jack keep everything, but you should’ve gone for the Maserati,” Daisy sighs, getting up as her doorbell rings.

“I didn’t want it.”

“Yeah, but I did,” she calls over shoulder. “You could’ve gotten it and gifted it to me. Then-oh, what the fuck do you want?!” she suddenly yells.

“Jesus fucking Christ, calm down, Daisy. I’m here to see, Y/N,” Ransom retorts, clearly in no mood to deal with a middle man.

“She doesn’t wanna see you-”

“I’m not leaving, Daisy. Even if you do punch me again.”

“I should fucking stab you.”

“It’s not like I wouldn’t past you.”

You take a deep breath before getting up and making your way to the front door.

“I’ll handle it, Dais-”

“Hun-”

“He really isn’t going to leave, so I may as well-”

“I can always call the cops.”

“Lets save that for if Jack comes back,” you chuckle softly.

Daisy looks from Ransom to you before saying, “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”

Then there were two.

“What is she? Your personal bodyguard now?” Ransom scoffs.

“What do you want, Hugh?”

“Don’t.”

“Isn’t that what you make the help call you? Isn’t that all I am? A trinket you can use to get money?” “Stop it, you know that’s not true! I love you!”

“There was a time when I actually believed that,” you scoffed.

“Listen, please just hear me out. You won’t answer my texts or calls-”

“Why should I?!”

“Because you don’t know everything!”

“Hugh-”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?! You got your money, didn’t you?!”

“I didn’t take the fucking money!”

“Why the hell not? You went through all this-”

“I LOVE YOU!” he shouts and you let out a frustrated groan. “I don’t care about any of it. I know I’m an asshole and that it’s to believe that I didn’t care about you at all, but that’s not...God, if only understood just how much I actually love you.”

“Are there no other women for you to manipulate? You haven’t-”

“I’ll show you my bank account-”

“What the fuck will that prove? You had a ton of money before, so $40,000 isn’t really going to do much, is it?”

“Sweetheart, what can I do?”

“Ransom, I trusted you! I trusted you; I gave you my heart. I let you do things to me that I’d never let anyone else do to me. I was about to face hell for you, and then I find out, ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY NO LESS, that this was all a bet to you! How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?! The worst part is, I still love you and I miss you like crazy, but I don’t trust you. I can’t. Honestly, I don’t know if I ever will again.”

“Please, let me just explain myself. Hear me out and if you still...if you still feel like this is something we can’t salvage, I’ll...”

“You’ll what?”

“I don’t, try to think of something else.”

“Ransom-”

“I’m not gonna tell you that I’m gonna let you go, sweetheart. Cause I fucking can’t. I’ve held you in my arms, I’ve made love to you, I’ve fucking felt your love which is what I wanted sine forever...I can’t just quit and walk away.”

“Ransom-”

“Just hear me out, okay? You know me well enough that I wouldn’t beg if I didn’t care. If I didn’t love you.”

He had you there.

You run a hand through your hair and huff, “let me go and put on some shoes-”

“Why-”

“You’re insane if you think Daisy is gonna let you step foot in her house after all of this.”

“Oh for fucks sake-”

“Ransom, she punched you once. You think she won’t do it again?”

“Fucking fine,” he mutters, rolling his eyes.

The second you step you make your way back into the living area, Daisy is looking at you with a cocked eyebrow and her arms folded across her chest.

“I don’t need it today, Dais.”

“So, you’re just gonna take him back?”

“I haven’t decided on anything, I’m just going to talk to him.”

“Uh huh.”

“Dais.”

“You do what you think is best.”

“Daisy, I know, okay? I fucking know but-”

“I get it, babe. I really do. I know you love him, but you’ve been through so much already. However, with Ransom...I know you still cry when you think I can’t hear you, you hold your phone a little bit longer when he’s the one calling you before you hit ignore...you’re never going to be over him, so you need to do this.”

“Thank you,” you smile, eyes watery, as you sit down and hug her.

“I better get a good fucking report, or his fucking car is next,” she warns and you laugh with a sniffle.

“You gonna be okay, babe?”

“Like you said: I need to do this,” you shrug.

You get up, take a deep breath, and step into your flip flops.

It’s not going to be easy, but you need some sort of closure...or answer.

“Where do you wanna go?” you ask as you strap yourself into the passenger side of his Beamer.

“My house?”

“Nice fucking try,” you scoff.

“I’m not gonna fucking try anything, Y/N,” he sighs as he turns on the car.

“As already stated, I don’t trust you. So no, not your fucking house.”

“Okay, then where do you wanna go?”

“This was your idea, Ransom.”

“Because you wouldn’t answer your phone!”

“I can go back inside right now if you want.”

“Jesus, fucking stop. You already know I can’t win an argument against you,” he sighs as he starts his car. “It’s not like this is a discussion you want or will have in public, so lets just go to my house. The moment you feel uncomfortable or like it’s going somewhere you don’t want it to go, I’ll bring you back, or pay for a car service for you.”

“Ransom-”

“If there’s another place that you’ll feel more comfortable at, we’ll go there.”

You have a mini mental debate with yourself before suggesting, “I’m going to sign for my new house today. We can talk there.”

“There’s no fucking furniture.”

“Ransom, I swear to God.”

“Okay okay, tell me where it is. We’ll go,” he mutters as he pulls off.

You put the address in his phone and set it up for him to hear the directions, not wanting to talk to him more than you have to. As you both sit in silence, while he drives, you try to prep yourself for what’s about to happen.

Being alone with him terrifies the hell out of you at this point, because it’s been so long and you need him. Every part of you needs him, just like always. You have to be strong though. You have to decide what the hell you’re going to do, because the pain you’re constantly living with while living in limbo is too much. You have to decide if you’re officially done with Hugh Ransom Drysdale, or if you’re ready to quit him for good.

You have to decide if love is enough to save the sinking ship you two have been on for the last month.

~~

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