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q-gorgeous · 5 years ago

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Why Am I So Heavy?

fanfiction

Word count: 4318

Prompt for the Phic Phight by @voidetrap. Danny is a ghost who became half-human after stumbling through a portal to the human world.

guys this is the longest fic ive ever written i hope this keeps up i need to catch up to laz

Footsteps could be heard walking through a forest, the sounds of twigs snapping as two teenagers made their way through the trees.

“C’mon, Sam. The last time you dragged me out here to do some spooky ritual I was hiccuping out daisies for a week. Can’t you find someone else to drag out into the middle of nowhere, or go by yourself?”

“No can do, Tucker. Going on hikes by yourself is dangerous and everyone else was busy.”

Tucker grumbled. “I wish I was busy.”

“Here we are!” Sam shouted, running past Tucker into a clearing in the trees that led to a cliff overlooking the rest of the forest.

Sam walked over to a large, dead tree and started rummaging around in it’s hollow base. She pulled out a large stick, a toolbox, and a crystal ball.

“Today the earth and sun’s electromagnetic fields are supposed to form a portal, which usually just exchanges electrons. Though I think if I can get this pentagram set up with these quartz and crystals, I can make it work. Oh! And today’s also the solstice, that’ll help too.”

Tucker watched as Sam walked around the clearing, drawing a large pentagram into the ground with a stick. “Electromagnetic hoohaa? How do you even know what that means?”

Looking up at him, pausing in her task, she blew hair out of her eyes. “Don’t you ever go listen to the Fenton’s when they give presentations at the library? They’re kind of weird, but the concepts they propose are actually pretty rad.”

Tucker shook his head vigorously. “Nuh uh. No way. The last time you took me with it was only the two of us and he spent three hours talking about his childhood. Three hours! I didn’t wanna know about how he cried every night at dinner because he had to eat horse meat.”

Looking back down to her drawing in the dirt, Sam shrugged. “Your loss then. Lately they’ve started bringing their inventions in to show people and they go over their blueprints and everything. Mrs. Fenton is also thinking about doing defense classes. Did you know she’s a fourth degree black belt?”

“Nope, and I don’t really care to learn more.” He squinted his eyes and looked up into the trees, smiling mischievously. “Though… I would like to learn more about Jazz Fenton.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Dream on, Tuck. Now come here and put down these candles and quartz at each point while I lug the crystal ball over here.”

Tucker walked over and bent down to open the toolbox, scooping everything out of it. “Dream on? Next time I see Jazz Fenton I’ll walk right up to her and use one of my signature pick up lines. It’s foolproof!” He placed a candle and quartz on the ground at his feet.

“Okay, Tucker.” Sam grunted as she lifted the crystal ball into her arms. “I’ll hold you to that.”

She placed the crystal ball in the center of the pentagram and walked over to her backpack as Tucker lit each of the candles. She pulled out a book and flipped to her latest entry. Stepping over a log and kneeling behind it, she beckoned Tucker over.

“Okay, come behind here. I’m not sure what’ll happen but the Fenton’s said when they tried opening a ghost portal in college it blew up in their friend’s face.”

“Wait, what?!”

Before Tucker could continue, Sam interrupted him, chanting.

“Vocare nos spirituum ligno!”

QQQQQQQQQQQQQ

Danny floated on his back through the ghost zone, bored out of his mind. Everyone was busy today.

Ember and Skulker were on a date. Johnny and Kitty were fighting. Even the Box Ghost had something to do! What was a dead guy supposed to do for entertainment around here?

He rolled onto his stomach and let out a large sigh. The ghost zone needed a new attraction or something. Like a theme park. Yeah, maybe he should talk to-

Something a ways ahead of him caught his eye. It looked like a little flicker of green light. Looking closely again, he could see a small swirl of green mist.

Today just got a lot more interesting.

He flew over to it but soon it disappeared again, without a trace. He scratched the top of his head. What was that? He floated around the space in a circle, his eyes never leaving the spot.

After a few seconds, he shrugged. Maybe it was a ghost trying to form that wasn’t very successful. He wondered where it went. Purgatory? Maybe.

Just as Danny was turning away, he could see the swirl again out of the corner of his eye but it increased in size and suddenly Danny was screaming in pain.

Pain, why was he in so much pain? Were ghosts even supposed to feel this much pain? What was happening?

And suddenly, suddenly he was falling. Falling and falling through this bright, swirling thing that engulfed him.

The last thought that went through his mind was that he had forgotten what gravity felt like, and with a smack, everything went dark.

QQQQQQQQQQQQQ

“Si vocare te spirituum.” Tucker said as he looked over Sam’s shoulder at her book. “Clearly you don’t know latin.”

Sam was fuming and pushed his face away from her. “Why’d you tell me to use google translate if you KNOW LATIN?!”

Tucker raised his hands in surrender as he backed away from her. “I couldn’t have you knowing I knew latin! I’d be forever dragged into your schemes!”

“Yeah, well-” Sam was cut off as she heard a groan come from the clearing on the other side of the log. Looking over, covering Tucker’s mouth to shush him, she could see a pale skinned boy with black hair laying on top of her now crushed crystal ball.

A swirling green portal that she hadn’t noticed during her bickering with Tucker was hovering above him, flickering out of existence. Gaze traveling back down to the boy, she scrunched her eyebrows.

This didn’t look like a ghost. He looked like a normal kid. Why did a normal kid just fall out of her ghost portal?

Sam stood up slowly and stepped over the log and out of Tucker’s grasp as he tried to hold her back. She walked over to the boy and knelt down and was just about to check his pulse when he groaned again, sending her toppling down onto her butt.

“Ugh, why do I feel so heavy?”

His eyes slowly slid open, and his head shakily raised and his gaze met hers. They stared at each other until he started taking in his surroundings, panic growing on his face.

“Where am I?! What did you do to me?!” Sam shook her head, eyes wide. “I don’t know! I was trying to open a portal to the ghost zone and then you fell out! What were you even doing in there?”

“What was I doing in there? What do you think I was doing in there? I’m a ghost!”

Tucker cleared his throat from where he still knelt behind the log. “Sorry to break it to you, dude, but you don’t look like any ghost I’ve ever seen.” “What do you-” The boy stopped as his hair fell into his eyes. “Black? My hair isn’t black! What’s going on?!”

Sam hurriedly pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened the camera, pointing it at his face so he could see himself. “What are you supposed to look like?”

The boy grabbed his hair, pulled on the skin under his blue eyes, pinched his arms. His breaths started coming faster and faster until he glared up at Sam, his eyes now flashing green. “What did you do to me?!” He yelled, the sound much louder than anything a human should be capable of, prompting Sam and Tucker to cover their ears.

“I don’t know!” Sam shouted, her heart beating wildly. “I was just trying to open a portal to see if the ghost zone was real! I didn’t know you’d be there!”

“I wanna go home!” He wailed, sending the candles and quartz flying away from the pentagram.

A flash of white light appeared around the boy’s waist, traveling across his figure until a glowing ghost with white hair lay on the ground instead. Floating up, he flexed his fingers and pulled an ectoblast into his hand.

“Sam!” Tucker shouted. “When you’re done talking to ghosts aren’t you supposed to say goodbye to them when they need to leave? Right”

She nodded and looked back up at the boy. “Yeah. Goodbye, spirit! Begone!”

He kept floating steadily towards her, an angry look in his eyes.

Panic flared up inside her chest.

“Goodbye! Au revoir! Auf wiedersehen!”

“Sam?!” Tucker shrieked.

“It’s not working!”

The ghost boy pulled back an arm, readying to throw the ectoplasm in his hand when he shuddered and dropped to the ground, the bright flash appearing once again and leaving behind the same, human looking boy from before.

“What is this?” He grumbled into the dirt. “I feel so heavy and tired. And warm. Gosh, way too warm.”

Sam listened to him wheeze in confusion, her brows furrowed. Ghosts didn’t need to breathe, did they? Why was this one out of breath on the ground?

She scooted towards him slowly and held out her hand to him.

“Can I see something?” She asked softly.

He looked at her hand, puzzled, before placing his own on top of it. Sam cradled it with one hand and with the other she took two fingers and placed them on his wrist.

Her mouth dropped open.

“You… You have a pulse.”

“What?” He pulled his hand away, glaring down at the offending appendage. “That can’t be possible.”

“Well it’s there.” She said, nodding towards him. “ Check for yourself.”

He squinted at her, brows drawn, but reached up two fingers and placed them on the side of his neck. His eyes shot open and he looked back at her in disbelief.

“But… I died. I was a ghost. This can’t… This isn’t…”

The trio was silent for a few moments until Tucker plopped down next to Sam.

“What do we do now?” He asked.

In response, the ghost boy’s stomach grumbled and with wide eyes he looked at it in shock.

“Well.” Sam said. “I guess we need to get him some food. Let’s start cleaning up.”

Tucker and Sam began cleaning up, storing the candles and quartz back in the toolbox and erasing the pentagram while the ghost boy just stared at the ground.

“Uh, Sam?” Tucker started. “What are we going to do about the crystal ball?”

Sam looked at the ground where it was smashed to pieces and groaned.

“We’ll have to lug a garbage bag back with us. Can you grab the shovel from the tree and I’ll get a bag from my backpack?”

“Can do, Stew.” Tucker saluted and walked over to the hollow in the trunk.

Sam picked up the book she had dropped on the ground and stuck it in her backpack before grabbing a bag. Turning back around she saw the ghost boy standing shakily, one hand rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Sorry for breaking your...thing.”

Sam shrugged. “It’s okay, I can just get a new one. It’s not like it was really your fault anyways.”

As she held the bag open, Tucker began scooping up shards of the crystal ball and soon Sam tied it off, slinging it over her shoulder. After storing the shovel back in the tree Tucker joined the two.

“So, man, did you ever say what your name was?”

“Oh, uh, Danny. Danny Phantom.”

“Nice to meet you, sort of.” Danny’s face fell at that and Tucker back tracked. “But it’s going good now! Right? First impressions aren’t everything!”

Sam rolled her eyes. “I’m Sam, and that’s Tucker, my reluctant right hand man.”

Tucker flared up the collar on his button up shirt. “That’s Tucker Foley, TF for Too Fine.”

Chuckling, Sam elbowed him.

“Well, since you’ll need sustenance and shelter for an unforeseeable amount of time, you can sleep over at my house tonight!”

Sam’s face dropped. “Oh my god, Tucker.”

“What? It’s not weird to have sleepovers at our age. It just means we have extra friend time.”

“Not that! What are we supposed to do with him? He’s supposed to be dead! He doesn’t have a birth certificate or any kind of identification! And it’s not like he can stay with us forever. My parents would freak.”

“Hm.” Tucker tapped his chin. “I did not think of that.”

Danny groaned. “So I have to eat food now and find shelter without having anyway to do that? Being dead is so much easier.”

“We’ll make it work!” Sam rushed. “Let’s just go to the Nasty Burger and get something to eat first. Then we’ll figure something out.”

Both boys nodded simultaneously.

“Okay.”

“Sounds good.”

QQQQQQQQQQQQQ

The three were in a booth at the Nasty Burger, Sam and Tucker long finished with their food while Danny was on his sixth round of a Mighty Meaty Burger meal.

“Dude, even if you haven’t eaten since you died surely you aren’t that hungry? You’ve only felt hunger for like, an hour now.” Tucker said incredulously as he tapped something on his phone.

“Try not eating anything for an entire year and see how much you miss the feeling of eating delicious food.” Danny quipped back, his mouth full.

“You got me there.” Tucker said as he threw a finger gun towards Danny.

“Okay, guys, I think we need to start talking about what we’re going to do instead of watching Danny eat.” She tapped her chin as she thought. “We could go talk to the Fentons!”

Tucker looked at her, a deadpan expression on his face.

“You want to go talk to the Fentons, who are ghost hunters, about this ghost-human hybrid that we accidentally unleashed?”

“Wait ghost hunters?” Danny mumbled around a mouth full of food.

“Who else are we gonna talk to? They’re the only people who study ghosts around here, and they know me. No one else would want to listen to a bunch of kids anyways.”

“Wait, Sam, can we go back to the ghost hunter part-”

“Do you know how risky it would be to bring him there?” Tucker asked. “We don’t know what’d they’d do to him, especially because there’d be no trace of him, since he's, you know, dead.”

“Tucker-”

“They’re not gonna kidnap him, Tucker!”

“How do you-”

“GUYS!” Danny yelled.

Sam and Tucker paused in their bickering, looking at Danny’s glowing green eyes.

“Can you explain the ghost hunters thing?”

“Oh. Right.” Sam says. “Well, they’ve been studying ectology since they were in college, they even tried to create a ghost portal but it was unsuccessful. Lately they’ve been working on a newer model and an arsenal of ghost hunting weapons, but they haven’t had the chance to really test them yet.” She pulls a flyer out of her backpack.

“They do presentations at the library every week.”

Danny looks at the paper for a few moments before resting his face in his hands.

“Why would you want to give them a chance to test their weapons? Wouldn’t they be gung ho at any opportunity?”

“Not necessarily!” Sam said rushedly. “They only just moved here a couple months ago but they’re very nice, though a little over the top. They have two daughters too. They should be able to realize that you’re just a kid that needs help.”

Danny raised his head back up and leveled a stare at her.

“When's the next meeting?” He asked.

“Tomorrow at noon.”

He leaned back in his seat, head tilted against the back, and groaned. “Ugh. I guess we really have no other option.” Tucker swiped a fry from Danny’s tray. “Don’t worry man. If they try anything, they’ll probably be stopped by Jazz. She doesn’t believe in the whole ghost schtick.”

“Jazz?” Danny asked as he picked up his burger.

“That’s the oldest Fenton daughter. They also have a daughter named Elle. She sort of looks like you, actually.” Sam said.

“Yeah. She’s a feisty little gremlin. Always beating my high scores when we go to the arcade.” Tucker pouted.

Sam looked at her watch, checking the time. “Well guys, I think we better get going. It’s getting pretty late. Don’t wanna miss the presentation tomorrow.” She jittered excitedly in her seat. “I can’t wait to tell them I opened a ghost portal!”

“Are you into all their ecto, ghost hunting stuff?” Danny asked wryly.

“Not really. I’m more into witchcraft and goth stuff. Ghosts just happened to fall in between those somewhere.” Sam stood up and collected her trash. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. I’ll meet you at Tucker’s house.”

She waved goodbye and left the restaurant.

“So…” Tucker started. “Do you wanna go back to my place and play some video games?”

“Video games?” Danny asked.

Tucker clutched his chest in mock horror. “You don’t remember video games?! Forget sleep, there’s much you need to see!”

And with that, Tucker jumped up and dragged Danny out the door by the wrist.

QQQQQQQQQQQQQ

Danny walked out the front door of Tucker’s house, yawning. When he blinked open his eyes he could see Sam standing there, tapping her foot.

“What? I haven’t weighed this much in a year. Walking around was tiring.” Danny told her.

“We also played video games until three in the morning.” Tucker yawned as he walked out behind him.

“Why would you tell her that?” Danny asked, turning around.

“To make her mad?” Tucker shrugged.

Sam sighed. “Whatever guys. Let’s just get going. They’re starting soon.”

They walked down the street in silence until Danny spoke.

“How many people usually go to these things? Is there a lot?”

“No.” Sam said. “Usually it’s just me. And Tucker when I can get him to go.”

Tucker groans. “I just hope Mr. Fenton doesn’t get into telling His Life Story: Volume Two. It was so boring the last time.”

“What do we do if they won’t help us?” Danny asked.

Sam and Tucker looked at each other in silence. Sam took a deep breath and spoke. “I’m sure they’ll help us. They’re nice people.”

Soon they walked inside the library, the building quiet except for the few hushed voices reading children's books and the boisterous laughter that could be heard coming from Mr. Fenton across the building. When Danny heard it, he paused, hands clenched into fists.

“What if they hate me? What if they won’t help us? I’ll just be stuck here, alive and homeless. What if they strap me down on some table, tearing me apart molecule by molecule?”

Sam turned to face Danny, walking towards him and resting her hands on his shoulders. “They probably won’t be able to tell anyways. It’ll be alright. We’ll go in and wait until the meeting is over and then go talk to them.”

Danny’s shoulders shook, and he took a deep breath and nodded.

Together, the three of them walked to the presentation room.

“Just remember, stay calm. It’ll be-”

A clatter resounded through the room as they crossed through the door.

“Danno?”

Mr. Fenton was standing in front of the projector screen, an ectogun laying on the floor at his feet. His eyes were wide and haunted, looking straight at Danny.

Looking behind him, Danny wore a confused expression on his face.

“Me?” He said, pointing at himself.

The older man nodded. “But how are you… You… This can’t be possible.” He looked Danny over again and then his gaze traveled to Sam. “Ms. Manson, what..?”

“Do you know Danny, Mr. Fenton?” Sam asked softly, confused.

“He’s my son.”

Sam’s mouth dropped open and she looked at Tucker who was leaning up against the door frame, staring blankly at the floor. Danny still looked confused, but a chirpy voice soon interrupted them.

“Jack, sweetie, the staff room ran out of sugar again but I think your coffee should be fine with only four packets.”

The three kids turned around to see Mrs. Fenton standing behind them, two coffee cups in her hands. She smiled at them until her gaze landed on Danny. Her expression soured and she dropped the coffees, pulling out an ectogun from her suit pointing it at Danny.

“What is this ectoplasmic scum doing here impersonating our boy?!”

“Wait!” Sam shouted, putting herself between the barrel of Mrs. Fenton’s gun and Danny. “He has a pulse!” “That’s impossible.” Mrs. Fenton scoffed. “Our son passed a year ago. That’s just a form of post human consciousness.”

“No, please!” Sam reached behind her, searching for Danny’s hand. Once she found it, he grabbed it in a death grip, she pulled it forward, opening up his wrist for the woman. “Please, trust me.”

Mrs. Fenton threw another sour look towards Sam, but obliged the girl. She placed her fingers over Danny’s wrist and waited. Once she felt the fast pulse underneath his skin, her eyes widened and shock flashed across her face.

Dropping his wrist, she stepped back, nearly collapsing until Tucker caught her.

“What is this?” Maddie whispered. “What happened?”

Sam moved to sit down at one of the chairs in the room, still holding Danny’s hand and pulling him behind her. “Yesterday had the perfect atmosphere and phenomenon to create a natural ghost portal and after one of your presentations I wanted to try, because who knew when I’d get a better chance.

“When we finished the ritual a swirling green portal formed and he fell out like this but…”

“He has two forms.” Tucker continued. “And he can still do ghost stuff. But he can feel hunger and gravity and he produces heat. Has a pulse. But he doesn’t seem to remember anything.”

“We came to talk to you guys because we didn’t know what to do… Like, what are we gonna do with someone with no identification who’s supposed to be dead?” Sam asked.

Mr. Fenton knelt down in front of Danny, touseling the boy's hair, and rested his hands on his shoulders.

“Do you want to come back home with us? Do you trust us?”

Danny’s grip was still tight on Sam’s hand, and he looked from Mr. Fenton to Mrs. Fenton, who had tears in her eyes and her own tight grip on Tucker’s hand. He nodded.

Mr. Fenton’s own eyes filled with tears and he wrapped Danny up in a bear hug, squeezing the life right back out of him. Slowly, Danny lifted his own arms up around the man, feeling his own tears running down his face.

QQQQQQQQQQQQQ

One Month Later

“Haha! Beat you again!” Elle laughed.

“Man, you really are a little gremlin, aren’t you?” Danny shot back at her, throwing a pillow in her face.

“Excuse you, I’m adorable.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Of course you are.”

He clicked on the New Round option in the game, going through the fighters and picking the same character as he did for the last fight.

A small frown formed on Elle’s face. “Are you sure you don’t remember anything?”

“Yeah, pretty sure. Why do you ask?” He shot her a look before the round started.

“You keep picking the same character that had been your favorite before…”

Elle trailed off and when Danny turned to look at her there were tears in her eyes.

“No, no don’t cry, Elle. It’s alright. I’m here now. That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?”

She sniffed and rubbed some tears off her face. “Yeah. It’s the only thing I could’ve asked for.” She paused. “Do you think you’ll ever remember?”

Danny looked down at his hands. “I’m not sure. But even if I don’t I’ll still be here for you whenever you need it, okay?”

Elle smiled. “Okay.”

Danny’s phone chirped and he pulled it out from his pocket.

“Oh, that’s Sam. We’re supposed to go see that new movie with Tucker. Rematch when I get home?”

“Can it be called a rematch if I know you’re gonna lose again?”

“You wish!” He pulled her into a side hug. “See you when I get home?”

“Yeah. See you!” She waved him off.

Danny ran down the stairs and was about to bolt out the door to greet his friends when Jazz stopped him.

“Where are you going, little brother?” She asked.

Danny rolled his eyes at the name. “Just to see a movie with Sam and Tucker. I’ll be back in a couple hours, okay?”

Jazz nodded and walked over to him. “Can I have a hug before you leave?”

Danny opened his arms and she pulled him into a tight hug.

“Stay safe.” She whispered.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got the power of ghost muscles now.”

Jazz snorted and pushed Danny towards the door. “Okay. Off you go.”

He opened the door to see Sam and Tucker standing outside it. When Sam looked up, she elbowed Tucker in the side and pointed past Danny at Jazz.

“Pft, I’ve been practicing. This’ll be no biggie.”

Clearing his throat, Tucker caught Jazz’s attention.

“Do you like dates? How do you feel about a raisin?” He shot a pair of finger guns at her.

Jazz tsked and smiled at Tucker. “Dates are very tasty, and a raisin would be a delicious treat!”

Confusion crossed over Tucker’s face before horror broke across it. Sam broke out laughing beside him.

“Better luck next time, Tucker.” Jazz said before walking back to the kitchen.

Tucker kneeled onto the ground, holding his face in his hands. “The shame. I’ve taken the honor from my family's name. I’ve embarrassed myself for the last time.”

“As if.” Sam snorted.

“Hey!” Tucker shouted at her.

Danny chuckled and shook his head at his friend's antics.

“Come on, guys. Let’s go see this movie.”

#gorgi writes #danny phantom #sam manson #tucker foley #fanfic #fanfiction #phic phight #phic phight 2020 #team ghost

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spearxwind · 5 years ago

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OOF... i dont even have a theme for the major extinction characters sjlklfdhk. i dont.. i dont have most minor characters planned out even

I WILL GIVE YOU HOWEVER, a song that’s been inspiring me for certain worldbuilding things (though i cant say much bc idk if itll end up showing in the story at all but you can have it!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XciV8HuNQLw [it’s realm breaker, by mechina]

Oh man, im influenced by a bunch of art and comics but i couldnt pin down specific inspirations for those haha

as for the more broad sense, i also have a bunch of things! significantly, physics and space. it might not look like it but i think a lot about the logistics of things and whatever rules would exist in my universes etc. it does suck sometimes bc it prevents me from doing things just for the hell of it, but i love applying knowledge to things. and space has always been something really close to me, my dad’s an astrophysicist so ive been exposed to all sorts of cool knowledge about it since i was a wee bab

i also really really love metaphors and symbolism, but rather than take inspiration from things i just use my own personal symbolism x) i put a lot of myself in what i do. which.. i guess could be said for many artists too so its not too special haha

and also as with many other artists, i AM fueled by spite significantly. specifically 1. for the people who once thought or who still think id never be good to do art, or that id never get better at what i do. 2. for people who draw wings wrong (especially professional people? what’s wrong with you. im begging you to look at a bird) 3. for people and companies that make terrible designs with terrible decisions (they fuel me to do better than them) 4. for people who believe that the only way to be good at art and design is to make overly complex and visually charged, detailed designs with many colors/hues (all my ocs are fairly simple and have the most limited colors kffhk)

im sure there’s a lot more but ive spent a lot of time writing this out already and i cant really think of anything else so i hope this is a good enough answer!!

god i do NOT have enough knowledge for this but what the fuck was up with the volturi lol. like fuckin, vampire goth club over there did nothing to change over hundreds of years, all of them still stuck in their medieval ways. i remember a plot point that was touched upon was that they had a specific person lure in a bunch of lost tourists through the sewer entrance so that the volturi could drink them and like ?? bro. how is this not investigated at any point, ever. like a shit ton of tourists just disappear ??? all the time?? and no one gives a fuck?? no investigation?? what do they do with the bodies?????

also, they were willing to blast the carlisle family into fucking orbit over Turning A Child (tm) into a vampire, but they had absolutely no qualms about vampire wars/soldiers where a lot of people were irresponsibly turned into neophytes for their strength (like jasper) or people who turned others just for the fuck of it or bc theyd have sickass powers (like benjamin. that was the sole reason for benjamin being turned. bc the dude could feel that benj would have cool powers and he absolutely did... he was a fucking avatar. controller of the elements. and he did absolutely jack shit in the books. im still so mad)

but yeah anyway the volturi are big hypocrites. got nothing to say about their lifestyle and aesthetic tho bc italians just be like that

his horns and the spikes on his forearms and tail are rly solid and rly pointy so theyre about as dangerous as a solid, pointy big thing can be

the spikes on his neck and back are a lot softer though. theyre flat scales and are probably bendy, but still sturdy. they don’t have edges or anything so you wont be sliced up if you touch them but touching them is probably not too comfortable

alex would probably be a crocodile tbh! it’s one of the things i based his dragon form off of for the latest iteration, and i just think it fits him a lot (also its funny that crocodiles are water creatures but alex has a Big Dislike of water)

also i literally cannot see adri as anything other than a snake sklhfsdk. its what he is!! this is like asking someone’s favorite color but not letting them choose their actual favorite. do you want me to lie? do you want me to say something not true??

Honestly i always loved deer but refused to acknowledge it, especially to myself, and much less thought about having one as a sona bc “prey animals are lame” was rly prevalent in my circles for the longest time. everyone was a dragon or a wolf etc bc they wanted to be cool and so did i but i never vibed with it it took me a rly long time to just accept that i rly liked deer haha and i think what made me decide on it in the end was ‘well i can make a deer more monstery if i wanted to, i have that power’ and so i did then later i tied the whole ‘wrong deer’ aesthetic to my own personal symbolism of always being picked on by many until i got sick of it and learned to stand up for myself. my sona is something that’s not for people to prey on anymore, and so am i c:

honestly? ive never thought about it. im not too knowledgeable about dnd still so i dont think id be able to do them justice

ive thought about making dnd encounters based off of my ocs thought (like, how their powers would work turn/mechanic wise) but if i ever did i dont think id use them or talk about them :’)

jkdg gosh thats so sweet thank you sm!! im so happy you enjoy my stuff :’DDDD

WELL, in no particular order:

1. several glass bottles 2. bei’s pet golem sierra (they got her back though) 3. a knife or two probably 4. an air conditioning remote 5. do sewer rats count? sewer rats. besides all the other rats i mean 6. homeless man who tried to rob his store at gunpoint 7. the gun 8. drank a bottle of cyanide once 9. a motorcycle (as collateral damage) 10. tbh he will eat any creature he finds while walking around that’s small enough to fit in his mouth and no one can rly stop him

DISGOSTING!!! not even bc of the flavor i rly dont care abt that but bc like... warm pineapple... that’s the real crime

oh my gosh that’d be an honor tbh!! I’m not sure if i’d be a big help since i might be tied with school stuff at the time, but id definitely love to try!! ty!!

#ask #anon #ask dump #long post #yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw

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whumpernickel · 5 years ago

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so, i finally actually wrote something. i already posted this on ao3, but i was too nervous to share it here until id also finished this other fic i was writing, cuz i like that one a lot better than this one. and since i finished that second one, i figured id share both!

so heres the first work ive shared probably since i was thirteen: some needlessly angsty and sappy post episode-6 witcher fanfic because i have no shame (thats a lie) and zero self-control

Jaskier and Geralt had gone for much longer than this without seeing each other, but this had somehow felt like their longest time spent apart ever. He'd been anxious to see Jaskier – eager, almost. But... their greeting had been awkward, tense, brief- nothing Jaskier ever said was brief -and Geralt felt no small amount of fear at what any of this meant. It made the hairs at the back of his neck rise like a stalked animal's.

It was wrong.

There was so much unspoken, unaddressed, and hanging in the air over them, Geralt could feel it nearly tangible. For once, Geralt broke the silence first.

"What I said... before," he began, noting the way Jaskier tensed. "I know it was wrong."

Jaskier cleared his throat uncomfortably. "No. No, it uh..." he swallowed, "it wasn't."

"It was-"

"No," he insisted more firmly. "Trust me, I've had a lot of time and space to reflect on this, and you weren't wrong – I was stupidly selfish. With the djinn, with the betrothal celebration, with Yen, with... just everything, every one of those times. I was acting only for myself, and no one else, and bad things happened to good people for it. You wouldn't be in such a horrific fucking mess right now if not for- if I had just thought first, for one fucking second in my life. I never think, and..." He took a measured, steadying breath. "Well, I can't imagine I could ever deserve your forgiveness, but, at the very least, you deserve my apology." He met Geralt's eyes now. "And I am sorry. I truly am, Geralt."

Geralt expected to feel some kind of relief at the eye-contact, at the sound of his name spoken once again in his friend's voice, a blessed familiarity after months without it. And it was still there, that vague feeling of home in each other when neither of them really had much of a home otherwise, but it was tainted. The burdened remorse in Jaskier's words turned any sweetness Geralt might have found in them sour. He frowned.

"You... Jaskier, you don't deserve my forgiveness."

Jaskier winced and turned his attention purposefully to the floorboards.</p>

"I know-"

"No, I don't think you do know." Geralt grabbed Jaskier by the shoulders and ducked his head to intercept the man's averted gaze. "You've done nothing that warrants apology."

Jaskier gave an uncomfortable laugh and fidgeted under the attention. "...Okay, I think we both know that's not true – There are reasons- and some admittedly valid ones -that I'm banned from certain taverns, villages, kingdoms- I mean, no amount of lute-playing-"

"You know what I mean."

"Well, yes, but I don't understand it."

Jaskier met his eyes evenly, now, as if daring Geralt to try to rationalize it to him and certain he was placing a bet he couldn't lose.

Geralt felt his chest ache – guilt, confusion; worst of all, pity. He hated seeing pity thrown his way, and so he hated pitying others, especially anyone that meant something. But he couldn't help the twinge of pain at the realization that some part of Jaskier had believed Geralt up on that mountain all those months ago. Geralt knew better than anyone that the only way you could so comfortably and unquestioningly accept the poison fed to you by others was if you were already drinking the same poison from your own hand and calling it "water." He couldn't bear to imagine his so-spirited, so-confident friend doing this, but the evidence was there.

"I shouldn't have said the things I said," Geralt asserted. "They're not true."

Jaskier's eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, and he started to shake his head.

"Jaskier, I'm sor-"

"Please don't."

It was fragile and small, and Geralt almost questioned if it had actually been spoken aloud at all.

"Jas-"

"No, you- you can't take it back now," Jaskier said more audibly, shoving at Geralt's arms in a weak attempt to force some distance between them, "I was just starting to get over y- to... to get over what happened. And, if you take it back, now, then- then... Just don't take it back."

"I can't do this without..."

"Yes, actually, you can." Jaskier's face lit up hopefully, desperately. "You have."

"I don't want to."

"Then find someone."

Someone.

Geralt hadn't just meant he couldn't do this alone. Though he couldn't, of course – but that didn't matter, because he wasn't alone, anymore. Yet, even as not-alone as he was, he still didn't feel whole.

A huff of frustration forced its way out of his nose. How was he supposed to say any of that?

"Who?" Geralt intended it to be rhetorical, but Jaskier took the question at face-value and barreled on.

"Yennefer!- What about Yennefer?" he offered eagerly, "Of Vengerberg?" as if there were any question as to which Yennefer he meant, "Surely you two have made up by now, I mean even I'll admit you're somewhat of a power couple – but, y'know, extra emphasis on 'power.' Or- Or if not, then Téa? You seemed to like her and her man-killing prowess, yes?- I mean, I sure did, her and Véa, whoo, they are... terrifying. I'm sure they must take some time off from Borch-guarding, no? No, you're right, probably not. Then how about the child surprise- they are your destiny, after all, you're welcome for that – Or, if you're looking for a bard, specifically, there are plenty of others – not as good as me of course, but decent enough- I know a guy who-"

"Jaskier."

"What? No good? I mean, I suppose you could always put out an ad-"

"Jask."

Jaskier's nervous rambling died off in a shaky breath that sounded like it was meant to be a laugh, and he turned his full attention back to Geralt cautiously. His forced smile wavered at the soft sobriety in Geralt's expression.

Geralt dropped his hands from Jaskier's arms and took half a step back, ignoring his fear at giving the man enough space to walk away again.

"If you really mean it," Geralt stressed, "then I will leave you alone." A selfish something inside of him twisted at hearing the words out loud, but he let them hang in the air anyway, committed to respecting whatever answer Jaskier gave next.

"...Alright."

"Do you mean it?"

The silence that followed was more stifling than any yet that Geralt had had to endure in the bard's absence. Heavy and air-stealing.

Despite the uncertain pause, there was a sudden sureness on Jaskier's face that scared Geralt, and he instinctively braced himself as Jaskier opened his mouth to answer.

"No."

Geralt exhaled in silent relief. He hadn't noticed the breath caught in his chest until the moment he released it. He composed himself quickly; a show of weakness could probably help his case dramatically in winning back Jaskier's companionship, but it was tough enough showing as much vulnerability as he already had. Unlearning such a habit as ingrained into him as this one was like tearing a security blanket away from a homesick toddler, and the homesick toddler in Geralt was already veering dangerously into tantrum territory.

Despite the vulnerability of all this, he felt a noticeable lightness in his chest. Jaskier didn't hate him enough to never want to see him again – that was something. He'd take what he could get and he'd take it gladly.

He was trying to figure out what to say next – Geralt felt cursed, sometimes, with only being lightning-quick with his response if it was a wounding insult or a wordless grunt – but Jaskier figured it out before he did.

"Did you mean it?" he turned Geralt's question back on him.

Geralt blinked. "Did...?"

Jaskier looked at him pointedly.

"Oh."

Geralt felt shame and regret draw his shoulders up toward his ears, and he looked away.

"I... I thought I did," he admitted.

"I thought you did, too."

"I'm... sorry, Jaskier, I... You..." The words still wouldn't come to him.

Geralt didn't do words, but even he could see that there weren't many he could use to fix something that clearly went deeper than just some hurtful accusations thrown carelessly about on a godsforsaken mountaintop somewhere.

He shut his mouth, frowned.

Caring was so much more complicated than he always feared it would be. It wasn't just kill the monster, claim the reward, and go on pretending it didn't matter to him what happened after he left, anymore. The stakes were higher, more personal. This kind of care wasn't the kind that was a whole town of faces where none grabbed his attention long enough to be committed to memory, it was individual faces that he knew and recognized, faces that meant something – and this face was Jaskier's, one of the faces that meant the most. He wanted to reach out and erase the worried furrow between his brows, the tired shadows under his eyes, the modest handful of scars he'd amassed over the years traveling with Geralt.

But he'd leave the crow's feet – those held mostly happy memories.

Jaskier was one of those few people he so desperately wanted in his life, but wished didn't have to experience the hurt of it all.

"Jaskier, you..."

The concept Geralt was still trying ever valiantly to skirt around was family. And his was so very small and fragile, he couldn't bear to lose one piece of it, not for anything...

"You should really meet Ciri," he decided.

Jaskier brightened at this, a small smile crinkling his eyes. "You found her," he said.

Geralt nodded, a smile of his own taking shape.

"Alright. Lead the way."

#the witcher #the witcher fic #jaskier #geralt #angst #this is just #more angst than im even comfortable with lol #but here take it #witcher spoilers #wrudy writes #im not sorry for that tag

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the-digimon-tamer · 5 years ago

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Chapter 20 - New Meets Old are out now on FanFiction.Net and ArchiveOfOurOwn! Going to do something a little different and actually post the chapter here too. Find it after the break!

Title: The Tamer v2.0 - In HIs Name

Fandom: Digimon

Rating: T

Synopsis: In the next adventure of the Digimon Tamer, the lives of Juri, Rika, and Henry change forever when digimon begin crossing over into the human world. But it’s all just a story, right? Just a book series by an author no one has seen in a long time. Why are they here and can they save their world before something worse follows the digimon?

Chapter 20: New Meets Old

It was around eight in the morning when, Yamaki walked into Izumi's hospital room. The lead scientist was sitting upright in his bed, chowing down on a tray of hot food: steamed rice with spam, a bowl of miso, some eggs, and a cup of fruit. It looked like he woke up just in time to get an order in the breakfast menu, and he could only imagine how hungry the man must be after being out for so long. The bewildered agent assigned to guard him was on the far end of the room, trying to ignore the munching noises of the ravenous Izumi as shoveled the food into his mouth. In fact, the man hadn't even noticed that he was in the room. For a brief moment, Yamaki wondered if he was even aware that he was missing a leg. He knocked on the door to get the man's attention before closing it.

"Izumi, it's good to see you're awake. We need to talk," Yamaki greeted, taking care not to rush the issue.

"Did you close the gate opened by the Juggernaut?" Izumi asked first. Gate? What gate? He probably meant the juggernaut. At least he wasn't going to dance around the issue. Yamaki ran a hand through his hair, "That's what I'm here to talk about. The Juggernaut program worked only briefly. But now, there are more of these wild ones crossing over into our world. And they're larger and more aggressive than ever. We don't have the means to contain this. At this point, it's the world's worst kept secret. What the hell happened?"

Izumi sighed, putting down his spoon and fork in a disgruntled fashion. He was obviously famished, having gotten by off IVs for the entire time he was unconscious. The scientist then removed his blanket to show the sorry remains of his leg. He appeared smaller without his leg, but seemed so much more dangerous for it. Only Izumi could've pulled off a threatening look from a missing leg.

The surgeons did a good job cleaning up the amputation, but he was obviously agitated about it and didn't hesitate to let Yamaki know, "THIS happened. I haven't seen my wife or daughter since you dragged me into this...program...this government bullshit. Months of my life dedicated to something I wanted no part of, and now my leg is gone! I almost died! You want to know what happened? You tried to control something you couldn't and you dragged me into it!"

Yamaki maintained his composure, waiting for Izumi to finish venting before saying anything. It seemed the computer scientist had a back bone after all. Once he calmed down, Izumi spoke more calmly, "The technology I used to build the juggernaut wasn't from this world. It was from theirs. The Digital World. Technology from their side. But it's written in a language that I barely understand with a level of technology I've only scrapped the surface of. Do you know how much more advanced they are than us? We needed a whole building and the city's power grid to do something they needed a device the size of a pocket watch to accomplish."

Izumi paused and Yamaki waited for him to catch his breath, well aware of Izumi's love of rambling, "The juggernaut...it doesn't just remove digimon from our world. It opens a gate into the Digital World and creates a special kind of electromagnetic field. It was the only way I could guarantee that it would only affect digimon and not humans. Once the digimon get close enough to the gate..."

Izumi paused, "You know what happens. But there's a catch to this method - gates work both ways. And when...whatever digimon came through, it left that gate wide open. So whatever problems you're having are because that gate is wide open and letting any of the big ones through!"

Yamaki had his explanation now. Then Izumi went on, "But the method I used to open that gate was messy. I got the idea from someone else a long time ago. They brute forced open a gate between worlds, too. But that method tore a hole in reality and destabilized the worlds around us. It was only by a miracle that we didn't all die, then and there."

"What are you saying?" Yamaki, alarmed by whatever Izumi was trying to say. Izumi looked up grimly, his voice shaking as he spoke the next line, "I'm saying that we're lucky it's only been digimon coming through and not anything else. I don't know what other worlds it might have blown open a path to, but I can guarantee that it's only a matter of time before something else shows up. And you better pray we can do something about it."

The air felt heavy all of a sudden. Yamaki didn't like the implications of what he'd heard. They were having enough trouble with the wild ones. He frowned and urgently asked, "When can you return to work?"

"When?" Izumi gestured at his leg, "Are you going to get me a wheel chair and a team because I'm not going to be able to walk around any more. And you better believe I'm not coming back just like that, either. I'm pissed."

"I saved your life!" Yamaki reminded him, only to be met with, "You ruined it!"

"The world is in danger," Yamaki pointed out and Izumi spat back, "If it's a world where I can't see my wife and daughter, I don't give a fuck."

It was then that Yamaki knew what he wanted. It was a hard ask but he was walking a very fine line as it was. The minister of defense and the Prime Minister were hounding him for results. Not to mention the fact that there was supposed to be a press conference about all of it later. The cat was practically out of the bag at this point. He had to deliver. With a heavy sigh, he replied, "You can see them as soon as you're cleared to be discharged."

"Fuck that noise," Izumi said, pushing his bedside table aside and adjusting himself in bed to face the exit, "We're going now."

...

Kari set her stuff down on her desk and turned to face the class. It wasn't hard to miss the dazed looks on some of her students: Juri Katou, Hirokazu Shiota, Kenta Kitagawa, and Takato Matsuda. Takato especially. Like they'd been up all night even though they'd spent all weekend camping. But when she thought about the chaos that followed their return, she couldn't help but be anxious. If she'd spent all of the afternoon dealing with rampaging monsters, she'd be burn out too.

That would have to wait until later though. She sighed and picked up her lesson plan to start the day's lesson. She would handle her students after class. But that didn't stop her from fixating on Takato, although she tried her best not to.

The idea that her brother had been just a few feet in front of her after all this time weighed heavy on her. She had so many questions she wanted to ask him. Not the least of which was why he never said anything. Then she remembered how the last time they'd met, he said she wouldn't recognize him. How she shouldn't wait for a brother who isn't coming back to return. But that would have to wait until after she confirmed it.

After what felt like the longest day, she dismissed her class but made a point of announcing, "Except for you Takato. We need to have a talk."

There were a lot of oohs from the rest of the class - kids being kids when someone got into trouble. It didn't help that he remarked, "That's okay! I wanted to talk to you too!"

There might just be trouble in this case. Any time her brother showed up, it was because the world was in danger. And after seeing all these digimon running around on the news, the fact that she hadn't been to the Digital World in years or seen Gatomon in some time. And if he wasn't her brother, then that just meant he was about to announce some crazy plan of his to cause trouble.

She waited by her desk as Takato came up to her, holding his backpack in both hands and looking so dazed that he was probably going to to fall asleep standing up. At least until he was up in front of her. Then he suddenly appeared alert and awake. He appeared to swallow a lump in his throat and asked, "So what's up, Miss Kamiya?"

She wasn't sure what to say now. The possibility remained that he wasn't The Digimon Tamer. How would she phrase it and not sound crazy? No, the whole thing was crazy. She sighed, "Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

He paused, "Actually yes, there was something I wanted to tell you. I was hoping I wouldn't have to beat around the bush too much but I'm running out of time so I needed to-"

That was enough for her, "Tamer?"

He paused, then the smallest of smiles drew itself on his face, "Oh, good. This saves me a couple of steps. When did you figure this out?"

It really was him. The Digimon Tamer was here. She often wondered what she was going to say to him when they met again. But nothing she could think of felt right. But any emotion would've been robbed by the fact that there were other things they had to worry about. She closed her eyes, drawing a deep breath, "I started to figure it out after that thing with the snake in the subway. You've been gone a long time and there's a lot to talk about."

She paused for a moment before adding, "For starters, why didn't you tell me?"

"I spent the first few months in this body in a daze. I didn't really realize what was going on until I was already here. Besides, would you have believed me?" Takato looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "Not to mention my memory's are fuzzy after reformatting. I remember a talking cat, clothes, a stage...and...a nice lady?"

She thought about it and it came back to her. The night of her college graduation, Matt had given her tickets to a return concert his band was doing. After the concert, they ran into a boy in ill fitting clothes who was rambling about nonsense. It was hard to forget, especially since he passed out the moment after Gatomon opened her mouth. The memory brought a smile to her face, reminding her of better times, "I think I remember that. It was after my college graduation. Matt played a song at his concert for me. Afterwards, some kid appeared back stage. He was really loopy and out of it. He passed out after Gatomon talked to him."

"That was you?" he asked before bursting into a laugh, "I see you did alright. Graduated from university, became a teacher like you wanted."

She returned the smile, realizing that they'd run into each other quite a while before now. But this wasn't the time for memories. There were things to do, "The others will want to see you. There are big problems: the digimon-"

He interrupted her, "I know. I'm working on it. Well...we."

"We?" she asked softly, alarmed by his choice of words but recalling that there were others kids involved. Two from this school and another girl she didn't recognize.

He still continued to smile that stupid goofy smile of his. Even after all this time, he still had that smile and the knowing look in his eye. Then she thought about his friends: Juri, Kazu, and Kenta. They all looked exhausted today. Even more interesting, she noticed them standing just outside the classroom through the hallway window. Of course they were there. She looked back at Takato, "Did you drag them into this?

"No," he shook his head calmly, "Well, not intentionally. I didn't pick them and I have no idea where their digivices came from. Whoever is doing this, it wasn't me. For most of them. For the rest of them, it was because I can't keep my mouth shut. Although, in my defense, this new mouth apparently can't keep a secret. Which makes it a miracle I didn't tell you sooner."

She stared at him in disbelief, wondering how much of what he said to believe.

"So what's going on?" she asked, wondering just how much he actually knew. He shrugged, "The same thing that's always happening: reality is compromised, worlds that shouldn't be touching each other are, and I'm stuck trying to fix it all. The big difference is I have an arm tied behind my back m because my head is still kinda fuzzy all the time and my old digivice broke and I can't figure out how to use the new one. It makes things more interesting, though. Check this out!"

He fiddled through his coat pockets and produced the oddest thing. A new digivice. One that made no sense to her - it looked kind of like her modified digivice only more centered. Then he began excitedly explaining, "They're real marvels if I'm being honest. They have a lot of the same features: scan, digivolution, possibly open gates to other worlds - still can't figure out how - OH! And these have card readers in them! And the cards modify digimon! It's really cool. It's kinda...I don't know, not stylish like the old one. You can't beat a classic. I'd modify this one if I could figure how it works but it's like someone made a banana but had only ever heard of a banana. So when they tried to make it yellow with a hard skin, and a flavor not everyone likes - they made a lemon. And that metaphor doesn't really work. Forget the banana and the lemon."

She found herself smiling at everything he said. She wanted to be upset. To be angry. To feel some kind of insult after he'd continued to keep his secrets. Then he put it away, "Never mind me, though. I'm doing fine. Kind of...where are the others? I've been trying to track them all down but this world has made it too...difficult to concentrate."

"We're meeting up later at Mimi's," she explained, "You can come with me."

His face lit up excitedly, "That works out for me just fine because we were going to have a team meeting with her daughter. Real quick ask, if you don't mind: do they go by any weird names right now?"

"Weird names?" she repeated quietly, blinking in confusion. No, that wasn't the important part right now. She shook her head, "Wait, how do you know Mimi's daughter?"

"It's a long story and I'll explain that part later," he dismissed her, "Does any one else go by weird names?"

She blinked again. It seemed they had a lot more to talk about than she realized.

...

Juri, Kazu, and Kenta waited patiently as Takato finally emerged from the classroom with Miss Asaji just behind. Or Miss Kamiya. It was still a weird thing to think about - that their teacher had a completely different name that they couldn't hear until Takato pointed it out to them. It was just...too much to process. He smiled from ear to ear cheerily, "Thanks for waiting guys."

"Students," Miss Asaji...Miss Kamiya greeted them. They all nodded and Kazu leaned in to ask, "Takato, did you open your mouth again?"

"Well yeah. I need to talk. Sometimes to eat. Occasionally to breathe when I'm out of breath," he replied matter of factly, "I haven't mentioned this yet, but we're going to Rika's place tonight."

"Rika?" Kazu repeated, glancing back at her teacher, "Dude, is it alright to talk about that in front of Miss Asaji?"

It still hadn't clicked for him. Juri frowned, wondering if this is what Takato…Tamer must've felt like for months.

"I already know, Kazu," she explained, alarming Kazu, "DUDE! YOU ARE THE WORST AT KEEPING SECRETS!"

Takato waved it off casually, "Don't worry about it, Kazu. Things are mostly under control. More importantly, how would you like to meet the digidestined?"

Kazu's worried expression changed to delight. He was practically bouncing with excitement, thrilled at the chance to meet his own personal heroes. Kenta was a bit more subdued, but she could tell from the way his face had turned bright red from potential embarrassment that he was excited too. He didn't want to look stupid in front of them. Juri wanted to feel happy for them but couldn't muster the energy to feel excited. Truth be told, she was still anxious about a lot of things. Their teacher's real name, telling their parents the truth, going to the Digital World. A lot of this seemed to be happening really fast.

She snapped out of it when Henry appeared beside her, startling her into jump which he quickly apologized for, "Sorry about that. What did Takato do now?"

"Is he a part of this too?" Miss Kamiya asked, pointing at him wearily. Takato nodded, "Yeah, he is."

"Don't drag me into your mess Takato. Whatever it is you did, I had nothing to do with it," Henry threw up his hands defensively, hesitant of whatever was about to happen until Takato insisted, "It's okay, I told her."

"Oh, never mind. Then yes, I am a part of this," Henry gestured to himself and the rest of the group. Takato nodded, "That's right. Now let's go meet the others!"

"The others?" Henry repeated, slowly following Takato's logic until he finally understood, "You don't mean-"

"Dude, we are going to meet the digidestined!" Kazu punched the air excitedly, until Takato covered his mouth and shushed him, "Not so loud. We don't know who's listening and the last thing I want is for another government agent to show up with his gun!"

"Government agents? Takato, what exactly have you kids gotten yourselves into?" Miss Kamiya asked anxiously. It was hard to miss the disapproving look she got from Miss Asaji, especially when it focused in on her. Juri had to look away to avoid cracking under the gaze. Takato waved it off, "Like I said, I'll tell you guys everything once we're at Rika's."

Kazu groaned, "What? Dude, you said we were going to go meet the digi-"

He paused, realizing how loud he was being and lowered his voice, "I mean, you said we were going to meet the digidestined!"

Takato and Miss Kamiya were both looking at Kazu quizzically now and it was his turn to start feeling the pressure. Miss Kamiya pointed at herself, "Kazu…I'm a digidestined. Miss Kamiya? As in Kari Kamiya? That's been my name all year. Did you not notice or do you just not do your homework? You would've had to have read my name every day for months if you were."

Kazu stared at Miss Kamiya quietly, his face stumped by what he'd heard, "Okay, are one of you pulling my leg? Because I'm getting really sick of all this Nami Asaji crap. It was funny before but now I'm getting mad."

"What did he just call me?" Miss Kamiya asked, looking to the others with an equally confused look. Takato groaned, "It's a long story and I don't want to deal with it right now. So, let's head over to the Rika's already!"

Miss Kamiya adjusted her bag and her took the lead for them, "Just as a warning, you kids better behave yourselves while you're there. Don't treat Mimi's like you treat the school."

"I don't recall you being so behaved when you were their age," Takato commented, only to be met with a snide, "How would you know? You weren't there for most of it. Besides, you have a penchant for getting into trouble mister 'brings-a-bag-of-smoke-bombs-to-school'."

Takato promptly shut up. This wasn't the usual scolding he received from Miss Asaji…Miss Kamiya. Their dynamic became less teacher-student and more like the playful banter between two people who hadn't seen each other for a long time. It was odd how quickly they started acting that way. Still, Juri was just glad he was starting to talk to people more.

...

Impmon landed with thump, observing the humans as they made their out of the school. The half sized squirt wasn't with them. Which was a problem for him if he didn't find Calumon. He got as close as he could without alerting them to his presence and listened carefully.

"So where's Calumon, Henry?" Takato asked, "Still safe with your sister right?"

"They'll be fine," Henry sighed, "Assuming they don't drive my dad crazy first."

"With his sister and his dad, huh?" Impmon repeated to himself quietly. But where the hell was the sister? It had to have been the little girl with them the other day with those crazy digimon. And going by her age, she was at home. Wherever home was. He'd have to keep a closer eye on the blue haired kid until he was on his way home. Then he'd know where the little twerp was.

"And where is that exactly?" the woman with them. She was new, probably another addition to the ever growing number of humans getting themselves involved in something that wasn't their business. Henry gestured off into the distance, "Apartment complex that way."

Maybe he wouldn't have to wait that long. Impmon shook his head, wondering how these humans kept anything secret when they talked so openly like that. Then again, they were just kids. Well, that would be their problem. Not his. His problem was getting Calumon.

...

Rika sat at her desk, finishing up the rest of her homework and cracking a very tired yawn. Because of what happened yesterday, all she could think about was the fact that they were all going to be showing up at her house soon. Those guys with the guns also kept popping into her head but that wasn't as important as far as she was concerned. Once she finished the last problem, she quickly double checked her homework to make sure everything was correct and neatly put back into her bag for school. Then it was off to the races - those idiots would be showing up any moment now and she wanted to be ready for them.

Once she had her deck pouch ready and her digivice, she made her way out to the living room to see her mom had set the dinner table with coffee and home-made snacks. She was tempted to sneak one away and leave but didn't want to get caught by her mom. As much as her mom was consumed with work, she was also a hell of a great cook and knew how to make a lot of really delicious dishes. Just as she was tempted to grab one of the brownies, her mom called out, "Ruki? Is that you? Aw, did you want some of my homemade brownies? Help yourself honey, there's plenty more where that came from."

Rika retracted her hand in protest. She didn't want to take it as an invitation from her mom. She shook her head, "No thanks. What's with all the food anyway?"

Her mom poked her head out of the kitchen, "I have some friends coming over! You might just like to meet some of them."

"No thanks," she turned to head back to her room only to run into her grandmother blocking the hallway back to her room, "Oh no you don't, young lady."

"Grandma?" Rika gasped in surprise as her grandmother spun her around and pushed her back to the dinner table where the snacks were. Her grandmother wagged a finger, "Don't think about sneaking out again tonight, young lady! I know what you did last night! You're staying home today. You can play with your friends later."

"Crap," Rika scowled, trying to get back to her room only to have her grandmother block her at every attempt. Her grandmother added, "Go say hi to your mother's friends. Then you can go back to your room. With me. Because you're not sneaking out again."

Now that she was stuck here, she decided she may as well help herself to some of her mother's brownies. As soon as she heard the first knock on the door, she tried to make her way back to her room only to get blocked by her grandmother again, "No, you don't young lady."

Rika groaned, resigning herself to staying in the dining room. She may not be able to avoid meeting all of her mom's friends but that didn't mean she had to talk to them. And if any of them tried to talk to her, she planned on ignoring them. In a huff, she stuffed her mouth full of the brownies as her mom's first friend came in. Her mom happily offered the man a seat, "I made brownies, cookies, some cake, and anything you can think of! Help yourself! The tea will be ready any minute, Joe!"

"Thanks, Mimi," a dark haired man in glasses smiled, taking a seat in the dining room and helping himself. When he took notice of Rika, he smiled, "Hey there. I'm Joe Kido. You must be Ruki. It's a pleasure to meet you."

She nodded, remembering him from the book and the show. She recalled Joe being something of a worry wort if cautious. He didn't seem either - appearing more relaxed than anything. She stuffed another brownie in her mouth to ignore the man as he spoke, "Your mom speaks very dearly of you. I'm sorry about your dad by the way. I knew them both when we were your age. I gotta admit, it's incredibly out of character for someone like your dad to just disappear on you guys."

She still ignored him, but that didn't stop him from going on, "Not a talker, eh? That's fine. I can do the talking for both of us. That is what I do, after all. You look like you had a rough day - either that or you had a long night and haven't gotten much rest. Y'know, it's not healthy for kids your age to stay up too late. It'll make you short. And I wouldn't eat too many sweets. You'll get a cavity. Or even a root canal."

Annoyed at that remark, she swallowed the mouthful of cookie she had just bitten and asked, "What's your deal?"

He continued to smile at her, "My deal? Well, I'm a doctor and a good friend of your mom. So naturally, I notice things in the world that most others wouldn't when it comes to health. I notice you're kinda tall for your age which is good because that means you have a healthy lifestyle. But if you're not careful, that may not be the case. You don't want to peak as a kid, do you?"

She rolled her eyes, relieved when the door knocked and two more of her mom's friends came in. She recognized them immediately as Sora Ishida, her mom's fashion designer friend, and Matt Ishida, that rockstar/soldier/astronaut husband of hers. The digidestined of love and friendship. One was kind, compassionate and cared deeply for those around her. The other was abrasive and rough around the edges, but she recalled the small rampage he went on when he thought his was brother was hurt in the first book.

Sora hugged Joe, "It's good to see you Joe.'

"Likewise," he hugged her back and nodded at Matt, "How've you been, Matt? Any luck?"

Matt eyed Rika wearily and frowned, "Not in front of her daughter. I don't want to talk about it."

It seemed like he wasn't going to talk to her. That was fine by her. She didn't want to talk to him either, anyway. Joe went on to add, "I saw your new fashion designs the other day. Beautiful work as always, although I think you're getting a little too risqué with some of your men's clothing."

Sora put her hands over Rika's ears and said something she couldn't make out. But she could see Joe's glasses slide down his nose a little while Matt turned his head in shame. Once she removed her hands, Joe adjusted his glasses and snickered, "I hope your fans appreciate what your wife does for you."

"Sometimes I don't," Matt replied. And it didn't take long for the rest of the friends to show up from there - some weird private investigator name Ken Ichijouji and his wife Miyako. But for some reason everyone called her Yolei. Then there was a mustached lawyer named Cody, and some lanky looking cook named Davis who showed up still wearing his apron and cooking bandana. Soon she was surrounded on all sides by a bunch of adults she didn't want to talk who wouldn't stop chatting. She was about to go into the living room when she overheard the one called Davis ask, "So when's Kari getting here?"

"Aren't you married?" Yolei asked. There was a small laugh from the group before Davis reasoned, "Yes I am. And I'm asking because she's the one who wanted us all to meet up."

She moved to the living room and turned on the TV, hoping to drown them out when there was another knock on the door. Davis threw up his hands excitedly, "Finally!"

She heard the door open and a lot greetings happen, followed by a familiar and annoying voice, "No way, we're going to Rika's house?"

It was that stupid guy Kazu. Which meant it was her friends. She got up, relieved to finally have an excuse to not be around her mom's friends when she heard her mom say, "Oh, do you know my daughter?"

Of course Takato had to answer, "We kinda hang out a lot with her."

"Oh, I didn't even know she had friends in her own age group," her mom said excitedly, "Especially not boys. Then again, she always was a tomboy."

Rika groaned, wanting an out of this conversation while she could. She walked out of the living room to meet them, hoping to get them out to her room before things got more out of hand for her. Out in the entry hall were none other than Takato, Henry, Juri, Kazu, Kenta and that weird teacher she remembered from the other day - presumably the Kari Kamiya from the original draft.

"My room's this way," she said to them, gesturing for them to follow.

"Rika, that's no way to talk to your friends!" her mom scolded her only for the goggle head to add, "That's alright. It's weird to us if she's not talking like that. To be honest, I'm surprised you didn't notice yet, Mimi. Rika did, so I figured you would too."

"Notice what? And how do you know my name?" her mom asked perplexedly. Miss Kamiya smiled at her and greeted, "Hi there, Ruki. It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Miss Kamiya, but you can call me Kari. I'm a friend of your mom's and their teacher."

"It's Rika," she corrected, keeping her eye on goggle head as he made his way into the kitchen. Then she heard a very loud smack followed by something hitting the floor. She made her way into the dining room to see Takato on the floor massaging his cheek, Matt standing over him with a raised fist. Takato looked up and grimly replied, "I really should've expected that. Hello to you too, M…erm…Marc? No, that's not…Matt! Yes, Matt!"

"What the hell happened?" her mom demanded as everyone else made their way back into the room. Matt pointed at Takato on the floor, "You know he deserved it."

"Oh, is that him?" her mom raised an eyebrow. Before anything else could happen, the cook and the private detective helped him off the ground. With the chef quietly saying, "Sorry about that. He's under a lot of stress. Well, we all are. So…you're-"

"Yup," Takato nodded, straightening himself out, "Sorry, my head's a little fuzzy still so I might get a lot of this wrong. But if I remember correctly…it's…Matt, Skye, David, Yolei, Wotkin…and um…sorry, I can't remember the rest. Head's still a little dizzy."

"I want to say I'm offended but I'm not sure what else I expected," Joe said from the table, taking off his glasses to clean them, "I mean, you're not right, but you did call every one of them by at least one of those names at least once."

"I think I am offended," Davis scratched his head while Matt cracked his knuckles, "I think I'm going to deck him again."

Before anything else could be said, Kazu jumped in the middle of the room and excitedly called out, "No way! It's really you guys! It's gotta be…Sora, Matt, um…Joe…or are you Ken? Wait, you've gotta be Ken, which makes you Joe. Then that means you're Yolei! And you're Davis and Cody and…this is so cool!"

At the mention of their names, each of the adults frowned, and one of them could be heard muttering, "Dammit, Takeru."

Rika frowned. It seemed that the goggle head had told them who they were. Although she was madder at Kazu for his next remark, "Which makes you Mimi! And…wait! Rika! Your mom is Mimi! Your mom is…wow, the apple really fell far from the tree."

She promptly kicked his shin, making him jump in place in agony. Kenta patted the boy's shoulder, "You just can't keep your mouth shut, can you?"

Once he stopped massaging his shin, Kazu looked up at the teacher, "Wait…wait…oh you've…I'm an idiot. You're Kari Kamiya! You're-! Guys! Do you know who that is? That's Kari Kamiya!"

"Oh good, he's finally figured it out," Henry laughed.

"It's like I said. Different worlds, sitting on top of each other causes your minds to process it in a way that makes sense," Takato explained matter of factly, "It's not until you notice the inconsistencies on your own, or someone points them out to you, that it starts to unravel. In his case though, his mind must've been subconsciously trying not to notice. How else could a fan of the digimon franchise like you miss what was right in front of them the whole time?"

Rika barely followed any of that, but she was sure he just called him dumb. Then she heard Ken groan, "Because of course Takeru had to publish his books."

"He asked our permission so it's not like we can be mad," Cody said, quickly adding. Then he noted Henry, "Hello there, Henry. Find your answer?"

"Yes, sensei," he answered, "Don't tell me you're a digidestined too."

"Indeed I am," he nodded, looking back to the rest of the group, "Takeru may not have changed our names but he changed our descriptions enough that most people wouldn't identify us. Besides, before any of us gets mad: I'm a public defender so anyone can look me up, Matt's a rockstar, Sora's a top fashion designer with a huge following, Mimi's got her own fanbase with her modeling and acting career. If anything, Davis is the only who had a bright idea by becoming a ramen cart owner in a city full of ramen cart owners."

"Had to follow my dream," he said matter of factly, "But we can all catch up later. We have serious problems."

"Right, the digimon," Henry began. Matt pointed at him and began, "Okay, seriously Kari. Who are the kids and why'd you bring them?"

"Because this," Henry pulled out his digivice and unzipped his bag so that Terriermon could hop out, "Finally! I thought I was going to suffocate in there!"

Rika did the same and produced her own digivice. Takato followed their lead and produced both of his. Her mom gasped, "Ruki! Have you been a-"

She quietly made her way to the garden door and slid it open. Then she called out, "Renamon! It's alright. Come out."

Her partner appeared quickly, arms crossed and staring into the room, "Rika, are you sure about this? You've tried so hard to keep me secret."

"Oh wow," her mom said. Rika waited for her to say something about how she didn't like her partner being so cold looking but instead heard, "She's gorgeous! Just look at this fur! And that look! So cool. Sora, you have to make a dress after her. Or a jacket. Tell me, Renamon! Who does your hair?"

"Don't ruin this for me, mom," Rika snapped quickly, dragging the woman away from examining her partner too closely, "She's not gorgeous, she's cool! And don't you dare make a dress after her!"

Then Rika noticed that aside from her mom, the mood in the room was somber. All the adults looked disappointed or alarmed and Terriermon sheepishly stated, "Don't all get excited at once. Did someone die or something?"

"Not yet," Ken explained, "The last few months have been difficult to put it lightly."

"Don't you mean weeks?" Kenta asked them all, stuttering like he was about to pass out, "I mean…all this started only a couple of weeks ago."

"I already explained this Kenta. Well, maybe it's time I reexplain this whole mess. Guys! The world is screwed, reality is combining worlds that shouldn't be near each other and it's making time become convoluted," Takato pointed at Kenta before going over to a wall and taking a pencil from his bag, "It may have been a few weeks for us since this whole mess started but it's been months for them. Like I said, worlds sitting on top of each other."

Then he started drawing on the wall - curved lines, wavy lines, straight lines and more that just kept intersecting each other while all going in the same direction, "Time for your world, your version of reality is moving like this. But now it has to occupy space with another world - one similar enough to yours that you miss the little stuff, but different enough that they're not compatible. Then you have the Digital World trying to enter the mix and…well, you get the idea."

"Stop drawing on my wall, goggle head," Rika smacked the pencil out of his hand. She was glad to hear her mom add, "You better clean that up."

Takato ignored her and turned to the others, "Right, any questions?"

"Okay, start that whole thing over again but without the parts where I have no idea what you're talking about," Davis asked with a raised hand, examining the wall with all the focus that Kazu must've put into anything.

"Forget that, what have we missed from your guys side? Eh? You all look well! Except for the sour moods, which I guess is bad."

They all gave him skeptical looks, and Sora asked, "You mean you don't know?"

Ken added, "Yeah, you're usually on top of all this stuff. So either you're lying or we're royally f-…I mean in serious trouble."

Rika knew what he was going to say and said it anyway, "So we're fucked?"

"RUKI!" her mom snapped until Takato interrupted, "No, I'm not lying. Hand on my hearts, blaster to my head. I've been a little confused since getting into this face. I remember I'm supposed to find someone to help me sort it out but I can't remember who. And the different worlds with different destinies sitting on top of each other makes it hard to tell what's supposed to happen at any given moment. Think like being in a party where everyone's talking to you at once. But there's only three people so I guess that's not a party. Forget the party!"

A pause followed before Kazu said, "Yeah, we're just as confused as you guys are about anything he's saying."

"I don't get the two worlds thing. There's our world and the Digital World. What else is there?" Davis asked, examining the lines on the wall carefully, "You mean the Dark Ocean?"

Takato looked at them like they'd all just drooled, "Don't tell me you guys haven't noticed either? Come on! After everything that happened? You don't remember?"

"Explain it again. Slowly this time," Joe asked calmly.

Takato sighed, "Okay, this worked for the others so maybe it'll work for you guys. Mimi! How old are you? Don't hit me, just answer the question."

"Twenty-six," she answered. Rika blinked. That wasn't her mom's age and she interrupted, "Mom, you're not twenty-six. What, you had me when you were a high schooler? Then again…"

Her mom gasped and slapped the back of her head, "Don't make me wash your mouth, Ruki. Of course I didn't. Your father and I…were both out of high school when…wait, that can't be right. I'm…twenty-six. But you're…does anyone else have a headache?"

The adults all looked at each other with alarm. This must've been like what they were doing when Takato broke the news to them. Each of them were quietly scratching their head. Davis added, "That's right…the girls had a baby shower but that was…"

Takato sighed, "Come on. Concentrate. Think about it! Let's try this. Kari, how long ago did you graduate from university?"

"Not that long ago," Matt answered, "She graduated, started teaching at your school. I played a song for her at my concert."

"So you finished your military service since then?" Takato asked. Matt nodded, "You're damn right I did! It was the roughest five…wait…no, I didn't…Sora?"

"I'm noticing it too," she nodded, "When did we get married? We were dating then. But it's only been a few months and…I don't remember you proposing or a wedding or…"

The adults were now all dazed and confused. Rika looked over at Kari who was massaging her head. Takato patted her back and explained, "Two worlds with different paths. Two different truths, occupying the same space at the same time. They can't both be true, and yet they are. Reality is compensating by making two different people the same person."

Kari paused before saying "So what you're saying is-"

"-in another time, you were born Nami Asaji to the Asaji family," Takato answered with a frown, then turning to Rika's mom, "You were born Makino Rumiko. So on and so on. Your lives have become intertwined."

"Does anyone else know what he's talking about?" Davis asked, "Because none of that made any sense to me. I know I'm not the smart one, but this is making my head spin."

"All our heads are spinning," Ken added.

"I think it makes perfect sense," Joe said, "It also explains a lot. But maybe we should compare notes to make sure we're all on the same page."

"AWESOME!" Kazu sat down, "So what happened after the last book!? You guys go to the Digital World again!? I bet you've fought a lot of bad guys since then."

"A lot happened. Mei still barely talks to us after what happened with her," Sora explained sheepishly, "But the broad strokes are that our digimon all disappeared one day and we haven't been able to get into the Digital World to look for them! Around the same time, Takeru vanished and we have no idea where to. Not to mention Izzy ran off without a word. We've all been worried."

"I wouldn't worry about dad. He walked out on us and I don't care if we never see him again," Rika spat out angrily. The adults began looking at her and she realized she was being angry again. She took a deep breath and added, "Still, I'm sorry about your digimon. That must suck."

Sora frowned, "It does. We're worried."

Takato patter her shoulder, or tried to with how short he was, "I'm sorry. Couple of questions: Who's Mei? What do you mean your digimon are gone? And who's Takeru?"

A beat followed where Matt cracked his knuckles and the rest of the older digidestined shifted uncomfortably. Then Takato asked, "Wait, was Takeru the one who wore all the hats? Aw, I liked him."

"Oh yeah? And what about us?" Ken folded his arms disapprovingly. Takato quickly added, "No offense to you guys but he was the only one willing to wing it and go with the flow. Y'know, let destiny sort it out."

Matt slammed his fist on the table, "Well that could've been the reason he went missing so you'd better help us find him."

Takato apologized, "Sorry, sorry. I'll add it to the To Do List."

Matt was already off the desk with a raised fist, looking ready to deck Takato when there was another knock at the door. Henry looked towards it, "Are you guys expecting someone else?"

"No, we're all here," Mimi said, "Hide your digimon. I'll go see who it is."

Renamon was already gone while Henry was busy stuffing Terriermon back into the bag. As soon as her mom opened the door, she heard a soft gasp. Rika groaned and went to go check on her. Why was she running at all the loud noises today? When she got there, she saw a man in black suit with sunglasses pushing another man in a wheel chair. She felt her heart stop in shock at the mere sight of him, "Dad?"

"Hey Ruki," he said with the biggest smile.

...

Author's Notes: A surprise reunion! How will Rika react? What will happen when Takato is in the same room as Yamaki? And just what is Impmon up to? Find out all this and more in the next chapter of The Tamer v2.0 - In His Name due out next Friday, July 19th 5 PM CDT!

Yamaki wanted to feel happy for Izumi, finally seeing his wife and daughter for the first time in a long time. However, there were urgent matters pressing in the back of his mind that he knew took precedent over this. And the sooner they got out of here the better. From the moment his wife hugged him, Izumi never once let go of her. He noticed a girl standing in the entry way too - a girl with red hair tied into a pony tail that resembled a pineapple. Presumably his daughter.

He'd seen her somewhere before - where?

As he tried to recall, he could vaguely hear Izumi's wife asking where he'd been and what happened to him. He couldn't hear whatever answer Izumi gave, but it made his wife walk up to him and slap him across the face. That cold hard smack was something new to Yamaki - he'd never been slapped by anyone's wife before. Her fury was clear on her face too, "How fucking dare you."

#Digimon Tamer #fanfiction #archiveofourown #digimon tamers #chapter 20

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zf7 · 6 years ago

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I feel like a ghost. I’m a 35-year-old woman, and I have nothing to show for it. My 20s and early 30s have been a twisting crisscross of moves all over the West Coast, a couple of brief stints abroad, multiple jobs in a mediocre role with no real upward track. I was also the poster child for serial monogamy. My most hopeful and longest lasting relationship (three and a half years, whoopee) ended two years ago. We moved to a new town (my fourth new city), created a home together, and then nose-dived into a traumatic breakup that launched me to my fifth and current city and who-knows-what-number job.

For all these years of quick changes and rash decisions, which I once rationalized as adventurous, exploratory, and living an “original life,” I have nothing to show for it. I have no wealth, and I’m now saddled with enough debt from all of my moves, poor decisions, and lack of career drive that I may never be able to retire. I have no career milestones and don’t care for my line of work all that much anyway, but now it’s my lifeline, as I only have enough savings to buy a hotel room for two nights. I have no family nearby, no long-term relationship built on years of mutual growth and shared experiences, no children. While I make friends easily, I’ve left most of my friends behind in each city I’ve moved from while they’ve continued to grow deep roots: marriages, homeownership, career growth, community, families, children. I have a few close girlfriends, for which I am grateful, but life keeps getting busier and our conversations are now months apart. Most of my nights are spent alone with my cat (cue the cliché).

---

Also, within the past year I’ve had a breast-cancer scare and required surgery on my uterus due to a fertility issue. On top of that, I’m 35 and every gyno and women’s-health website this side of the Mississippi is telling me my fertility is dropping faster than a piano falling out of the sky. Now I’m looking into freezing my eggs, adding to my never-ending financial burden, in hopes of possibly making something of this haunted house and having a family someday with a no-named man.

----

I used to think I was the one who had it all figured out. Adventurous life in the city! Traveling the world! Making memories! Now I feel incredibly hollow. And foolish. How can I make a future for myself that I can get excited about out of these wasted years? What reserves or identity can I draw from when I feel like I’ve accrued nothing up to this point with my life choices?

h/t sean.

this is a really poignant, vulnerable, self-deprecating letter in a tough situation. how do you even react to someone with such a life-consuming issue that spans every facet of her life?

i don’t love polly’s advice, but the comments are incredibly interesting. some of them are “i told you so”, others seek to provide optimism. there’s a lot of pretty antifeminist stuff. see a psychiatrist! get a dog! do shrooms! go to church! volunteer! date yourself/love yourself! make an action plan and be strategic! i was in the same place but everything got better! i was in the same place and life sucks!

aren’t women stuck between a rock and a hard place if people reach professional/emotional maturity at a later and later age (let’s say 30) but women’s biological clock deadlines still stay the same (let’s say at 35)? what happens if they don’t want to date un-successful/matured men in their 20s, but then by their 30s, the successful/matured men want to date younger?

more generally, the comments made me feel like the self-actualization self-fulfillment everyone-is-awesome movement has someone done us a disservice? like if we are so focused on the no-wrong-choice rhetoric and we-are-all-beautiful and seek to squash people who are negative, isn’t that potentially giving people blind spots when they make decisions because they aren’t adequately aware of the drawbacks?

but like... that’s sort of the moral of the advice, also, right? is that everyone IS awesome, just given the right framing and approach.

the comments are so varied.

anyway. my favorite comment was the following:

To Haunted: I did everything the opposite of you. Right now, we're in just about the same place. With a few exceptions of course. I invested. I bought my house before the bubble. I married my high school sweetheart, to whom I had every hope and intention of spending the rest of my life with. When that 18 year relationship ended (nearly a decade ago now), I figured I'd be good to go for whatever was next. I was in my early-mid-thirties, athletic, a great business person, smart as heck, and good at being in love. I wanted kids, wanted a life-partner, wanted to work hard, and was ready to make a great life out of the divorce my ex-wife chose. But I had just spent most of my savings on a masters degree. And I'm only 5'8" and went bald at 18. My beard already had a little grey in it. And I had no idea how to date. I'm charging into my early 40's now and, earlier this year, took the lowest paying job I've ever had. (Hooray for starting a non-profit!) I've got plenty of savings, but I'm earning less than I'm spending. And the job sucks, honestly. I've been mostly single (with some serial monogamy in the mix) since becoming single. And my occasional romantic partners keep getting younger. It feel bleak as hell, honestly. My point has nothing to do with my own personal shit-show. It's simply this: (y)our choices, (y)our actions, and (y)our "energy" are only a small part of what led to this situation. Our paths, looking back, are influenced heavily by the terrain through which we wander them. When the terrain helps dictate our paths, a lot of them tend to cross at the same saddle. (Apologies for the back-country hiking metaphor.) Keep wandering, friend. You could have made all your decisions differently. You could have made all of my decisions, the opposite of yours. And we'd still be high-fiving at the same saddle, the low-point, regrouping, on the way to the summit. Cheers, Eric P.S. If you're ever in Southern AZ, give me a shout. I'll buy you some tacos.

side note, one of my friends is having difficulty having a kid. some of these lines are crazyyy

Date every night.... move home or move to a city with a high male to female ratio. Whatever it takes. I’m 39 now with a newborn and she has filled me with the worlds largest supply of heroin concentrated love. Your friends won’t tell you that because they don’t want to make you feel bad - but stable loving husband and baby will make you love every minute of your existence.

They didn't tell us the peace that you feel when holding a sleeping baby.

I'm 42. I have single female friends of the same age who bitterly regret not having children. I used to attend legal conferences where 50% of the people in the room were single 55 year old female lawyers. Almost none were married and almost none had children. None of them looked like they were particularly happy with life, even though they were probably top 5% income earners.

also this comment lol:

"my fertility is dropping faster than a piano falling out of the sky." According to Galileo's law of motion; all bodies accelerate at the same rate regardless of their size or mass. :)

#advice #ask polly #self #friendship #career

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roquereptil · 3 years ago

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I posted 10,292 times in 2021

4 posts created (0%)

10288 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2572.0 posts.

I added 102 tags in 2021

#art - 19 posts

#su - 14 posts

#adventure time - 11 posts

#cute - 10 posts

#marceline - 9 posts

#drawing - 9 posts

#q - 8 posts

#the owl house - 8 posts

#bubbline - 7 posts

#my art - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#coincidence or did mr. sejic create the most iconic harlivy imagery in history and one cannot help but pay homage to it? you decide

My Top Posts in 2021

the final strech...

in aprox 40 minutes im going to do a mandatory national test to get my degree on biochemistery and pharmacology. it will be about EVERYTHING ive seen during my time in collegue...however its not mandatory for me to get an aprovatory score??? something about my school getting a ‘degree of excellency’ wich means the classes are so good that the final result of this test is meaningless bc the student spent a lot of time working on real life cases/patients therefore he learned how to actually work outside school so they can get their degree... yeah i dont believe it either, but everyone i know in school tells me this is true and it has been for years. so ill give my best, but the end result is irrelevant, i already got my degree, its just a final paper work i need to make in order to get it...hopefully anyway wish me luck! pls...

0 notes • Posted 2021-08-24 13:55:00 GMT

its finally here!!!! pls comment and leave kudos!!!

4 notes • Posted 2021-03-21 01:07:57 GMT

to that anon

hey buddy! i though i had gotten ridden of you for good, guess not.

anyway, i just want to let you know im collecting your messages because they make me pass out from laughter and later on, after collecting enough ill share them here and on twitter just so my followers can also make fun of you .

LMAO i have no idea what made you target me but you literally couldnt have chosen a worse victim to stalk and annoy. later you absolute dumbass!!!

6 notes • Posted 2021-03-01 09:39:54 GMT

one must die...

so which of the blight twins is going to die by the end of the owl house? (or pretend they died to make fun of harry potter)

38 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 10:54:03 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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itsjustmepolly · 8 years ago

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“Living Out of Water” Part IV

Pisces woke up. She found herself sleeping on a canvas. The night before she had been very determined to finish her art work. But at some point she got so terribly exhausted that she let go of the control over her body and fell asleep wherever gravitation found suitable to place her. She got her head up and looked around. The girl was used to seeing chaos that pervaded the house. The current order and the fact that she could actually see the floor felt strange. She got the sudden need of looking at her reflection. It had been long since the last time she had seen her face even in a puddle. She was always too busy admiring the things and people around her, seldom remembering about her own external and internal beauty. But where had she put the mirror? Oh, yes – right next to the bed. It was on the floor, so she crawled towards it. And there she stood. Her skin was rough because of how poorly she treated it. That didn’t matter, anyways. Her hair was as messy as ever, but finding a comb was too much trouble. Half of her face was covered with paint due to her extremely unusual pillow from the previous night. Washing her face would have to wait, though, because the most important thing at that moment was to check if the painting was irreversibly damaged. She headed for it so hastily, she almost stumbled upon the paint container. Fortunately, her precious work was not completely ruined. More paint would have to be added in order to compensate for the one that ended up on Pisces’ face, but other than that everything was fine. Instead of immediately trying to fix it, the girl just stayed there and contemplated the canvas, wondering if it wasn’t actually even better after the small ‘accident’. Someone knocked on the door. That was very strange, considering the fact that she never had visitors. No one really knew where she lived. Could the visit be ill-intentioned ? Or could it be something life-changing in a most wonderful way? While Pisces was yet again overthinking, a second knock occurred. She finally decided to go for it, no matter what could happen - she opened the door directly, without even asking about name or intentions… “Hi! I am a traveler and while I was walking around I saw this cute little cottage and I wondered if you’d be so kind to put me up for the night. Also I saw you the other day at the river, but I didn’t know that this was your house. It’s really nice around here. Your house is nice as well… I mean – it needs a little bit of refreshment, but it has potential,” it turned out that there had been nothing to fear indeed. At her door was one completely safe-looking slender youngster with quiet long legs, arms and neck but at the same time a short trunk. His eyes were blue, with a childish spark; the features of his face - sharp, but eye-pleasing. “Nice to meet you, sir,” Pisces said with a warm smile, “What is your name? Forgive me if you have already mentioned it, but it is hard to keep up with the speed of your speaking.” “Oh, no… forgive me for not introducing myself. I am Gemini. And you are…?” “I am Pisces, and I would be glad to help you. Here, come,” the girl stepped aside and let her guest in. “Thank you so much!” As soon as the boy entered the house, he started curiously looking around, “Oh, are these paintings yours?” “Yes. I recently finished some of them. Last night in fact.” “They are very beautiful and interesting. A perfect reflection of their creator,” was he flattering her? Whatever he was doing, it felt nice. Pisces hardly ever received any compliments. It probably had to do with the fact that she spent most of her time alone. “Um, thank you,” said the girl, with her cheeks slightly blushing. “Once I was at an art festival and there were many incredible works, like yours. All of them had a very specific and exciting backstory. I remember one of the artists saying how his masterpiece had been inspired by a young beautiful lady that had left a huge imprint on his life. The image illustrated was not of the lady herself. He had painted a thin stream winding about some white stones. Around the water delicate flowers graced the landscape but behind all of that the sky was depressingly grey. The man said that the image represented the scene that would remain in his memory forever – the way his lady had cried when she had found out they would have to be separated due to some reasons that I don’t remember… anyways, what inspired you?” There was so much to say, but where to start? She had always wanted to talk about that and felt unusually excited about having to explain something. “Well, I don’t have such a specific story like the artist that you mentioned but I always have so many emotions inside of me and so I just let my hand pour them out using a brush or a pencil or anything that I could possibly use. Sometimes I am sad, and I am not exactly sure why, so I don’t have a particular image in my mind that I want to draw; I just use colors and shades that resonate with my emotions. Same goes when I am happy. There was once…” “Very interesting, very interesting. Oh, you write poetry as well?” –the boy interrupted and grabbed the poem which he saw on the shelf nearby, “May I read it?” “Oh, yes, of course.” “Absolutely incredible! I have a friend who writes poetry too. He has told me so much about various famous poets and their pieces. Come to think about it, I don’t remember much about their work but I remember every single one of their names. You want me to tell you some of them?” – said Gemini after reading 4 lines from a 34-line poem. “No need, thank you. I know a few but I hardly go to the library.” –finally having someone to share her art with was amazing, and Gemini seemed to know a lot of things. Nonetheless, Pisces felt like he didn’t really understand the concept of art and the emotions behind it, “Do you want to go on a walk in the forest?” Pisces enjoyed the new look of her house but she had been there for far too long already. After all it was nearly noon… “Yes, I’d do with a forest walk. Especially in such company.” That made Pisces smile bashfully. They sauntered for hours on the way to the groove. Not because they couldn’t walk fast if they wanted but Gemini would stop every other minute, point at something and begin yet another story. Pisces took interest in his words, but at times did not pay attention to them because he was changing the subject much too rapidly. She needed time to think on the new information. When they finally reached their destination Pisces lay down on the ground and breathed in deeply. She was utterly exhausted. Physical exhaustion had nothing to do with it though… it was due to the longest and most energetic conversation she had ever had in her life. After only two minutes of rest her companion broke the silence again. “Oh, look a squirrel! Did you know that squirrels tend to run in erratic patterns in order to deceive their potential pursuers…” “I love squirrels, they are so lovely!” Pisces had faced Gemini and so the squirrel which was apparently in the opposite direction was out of her sight. The girl hadn’t intended to move any time soon but seeing a sweet little squirrel was always worth abandoning her comfortable position. “Sometimes they only pretend to bury nuts in order to mislead the…” “Don’t you see it is trapped under a branch?!” In a blink of an eye Pisces was already halfway to the suffering animal. “Oh. That’s right. Poor thing. How is it that I didn’t notice?” Was he feigning? Pisces didn’t care much about that now. She had to release the squirrel. When she was about 3 meters away, she stopped and started approaching more slowly so as not to stress it. She squatted carefully, lifted the branch, and put it away. The squirrel lay in the grass, confused. It seemed as though it wanted to stand up but could not due to lack of energy. It might have been under the pressure of the branch, struggling with the racking weight for a day or even two without any food and water. Surprisingly no predators had noticed the defenseless potential meal. “There, there sweetie, I shall bring you home and everything will be okay.” Pisces took the squirrel gently in her arms. A tear streamed down her cheek. She wasn’t sure if her rescue would turn out to be in vain or not. The girl could almost feel the pain of the squirrel. Or at least it seemed so to her. Gemini came closer too, “Oh, our little fellow is male. Don’t worry, he will be fine in no time.” “What if it is too late?” – asked Pisces with her tears still not wiped. “Life goes on,” he paused, “Come on now, let’s…” “What do you mean “life goes on”?! This animal has been lying there in agony for god knows how long under that branch and you don’t even care? Have you no pity for the suffering?” Why did she scream? She knew it would not make things any better but the fact that some people could be so careless pained her. It just didn’t make any sense to her how one could possibly see a suffering creature, and remain untouched. “I am sorry for not choosing my words more wisely. I…” For the first time he was speechless. They walked in silence. This time with a considerably higher speed. All of a sudden, Gemini swerved away of the established path and started running towards something. He got back carrying some sort of a herb which was not familiar to Pisces. “This must help heal the injuries on the back. I saw there is a little bit of blood. Once my grandma used this herb to heal me when I was a child. As soon as we reach your house I will take care of it.” Pisces smiled slightly. Perhaps he wasn’t so hopelessly apathetical. And indeed when they finally arrived, he placed the herbs over the wounds and wrapped a cloth around the body. He then petted the animal on the head. Even though she was still sad, Pisces couldn’t help enjoying this beautiful moment of care. They had a humble dinner. Pisces found nuts, stored some time long ago under the cupboard, and fed them to the squirrel. Every bite was given and received with love. When it was finally time for bed they realized there was only one in fact. Pisces insisted that she should sleep on the ground and Gemini, as her guest, should take the more ‘luxurious’ option, but he didn’t approve of that plan. Eventually, they agreed upon putting a blanket as a border and sleeping on the bed together… or separated, depending on where you look at it. Their new little fellow would sleep on the soft symbolic border. In the morning, as soon as Pisces’ eyes opened, they sought for the squirrel. Not for fear that he had run away of course. The dreadful thought that had haunted Pisces’ dreams was that the little fur-covered belly would no longer move lifted by breathed in air. But the more Pisces stared at the animal, the more she realized that for the first time, her dreams had been realistic. Tears were already at her eyes. But they were not tears of grief. Nor of joy. They were simply tears of emotion. She had really hoped that time would spare a few more minutes for her to have that fluffy thing running about the house, creating a mess along with her, and making her laugh. But the important thing was that he hadn’t died hungry, agonized by pain, with misery as a sole terrific companion. He had left this world sleeping on a soft blanket, belly full of nuts and most of all – surrounded by love. She took her never domesticated pet in her arms, stood up and headed for the door. “Are you alright?” Gemini asked with a sorrowful voice. Pisces wondered if he had been awake all this time. “I am. He is now too.”

~So that is perhaps the longest chapter yet. I hope you’ll enjoy it. I would like to mention that this book is full of symbolism and hidden messeges so look out for those. If you want to read the previous chapters use the “livingoutofwater” hashtag(don’t forget to switch to “most recent” because otherwise you won’t find anything). Unfortunately the hashtag does not work for chapter 1 so if you want to read that scroll down on my Tumblr account or even messege me and I will send it to you. Have a nice day! :)

#livingoutofwater #astrology #Pisces #gemini #prose

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amesbrisees · 8 years ago

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send me a symbol for… | accepting

↳ ★ five times my muse thought yours looked breath-taking, and the one time they voice it

I. He’s a perfect stranger to her as much as she’s a mystery to him. A silhouette of night time’s ubiquitous gloom, a chance encounter, the best friend they’d both ever had for a time lapse bound to come to a close much too soon. Heavenly and divine, even if only on second glance. Messy hair and bare skin, the depth of dark circles can’t be defined and they look like an odd couple on an ordinary Sunday night out. He’s clad in blood, while all she has to bring privacy its minimal limits of comfort are pieces of underwear he initially pays little attention to. He barely musters to strength to focus on looking through an opaque veil of smoke pulled shut in front of crystalline eyes, devoid of everything but the incessant tiredness and unyielding exhaustion, the endless fatigue he endures and the cruelty of an insomniac’s curse. It takes him a while to figure it out, and when he does, oh, he knows it won’t get much better than that. The moment of deep-rooted and mutually exclusive understanding, a tie that binds them for a moment or two, amidst tiles and glass and the irritating flicker of a white neon light. The ceaseless rummaging of laundry machines sets a consequent undercurrent for all noises in their surroundings, warm in the realm they claim their own for a brief encounter. Breathing and beating hearts – you could hear the flap of a butterfly’s wings in moments of blissful silence.

She tells him that her father didn’t want her, nor did her mother. And it’s soul-crushing. So young and bitterly broken, it almost reminds him of himself. The pain behind wide eyes, the taste of heartache and tobacco against chapped lips and he knows he’s closer to a kindred spirit than he’s ever been before. Close enough he could easily reach out to her for a tender caress of her cheek and a murmured: “Some day everything will fall into place.”, but he’s no liar and bites his tongue. Close enough to cord callused fingers around her delicate neck like a tight rope a rasped: “All you have to do is jump. Only then it’ll be okay.”, but he’s not malevolent, nor a murderer. He’s too selfish to willingly crush her world further by brutality hidden inside sloppily hand-picked words. Too selfish to let go of the only thing that has felt real in the longest while.

He asks her if she wants to get out, find a route to escape and her only response is a question. “Do you want to take me somewhere?”, and nothing has ever made more sense. And when they meet for an agreement on the upper middle ground, she tries to hide a smile, breaking through the cracks in a grin’s disguise. It’s the first time he sees how beautiful she actually is, with the apples of her cheeks full and eyes narrowed in the slightest, as if kissed by indirect sunlight. It’s the first time he sees it and he does what he always does. Lets the moment pass, slip through his fingers as his thought remains hidden in the secretive shadow of his mind.

II. Drunk on sleep. He’s barely awoken and unbearable tiredness keeps tugging at heavy eyelids, trying to coerce them to remain tightly shut against the burning kisses peppered through windows by the golden gleams of the afternoon’s sun. The bright rays break through the blanket of clouds concealing the sky’s impossibly blue hue. For a moment he’s lost in a hazy limbo, a trance lead by confusion and sickness and the hapless uncertainty of when it would all clear.

Blinking with one eye shut, he squints through the blinding brightness of a natural source of light, bleeding into the dim room through a crack in the curtain. The countless variations of blots of yellow and the mossy hues in their motel room’s color scheme are so ugly they make him want to vomit. Only for as long as he buried his head in a dreamless sleep, he’s forgotten all about it. It’s a recurrent curse, coming back to haunt him when he gazes around from the sofa he lies upon, close to soft cushions embracing his body with warmth. It’s a low groan that escapes him, a raspy one, which comes flying from lips that stand partially ajar. The room lies in a rosy tinge, the warmth pulling his throat tight. Beads of sweat stand on his forehead and it takes him another handful of seconds until realization dawns and he registers the stark pharyngeal dryness. A tongue like sandpaper coils against his mouth’s hard palate, dying for a taste of sweet water.

He moves with aching limbs, stirs against the stagnant air and in that moment he figures that it must be why he’s got a headache like lightning crashing inside his skull. A great big sigh heaves from strained lungs, while the ongoing process of figuring out in which century he finds himself within remains ongoing, he fails to notice her in the open bathroom door.

Her ‘Hi’ is not quite a whisper, more of a low hum and he feels like an idiot for tweaking the most faint of smiles, giving a murmured greeting in return. Moments of silence –one, two, three up to four– pass by, before either of them speak. He asks her if they want to leave once dusk had wrapped its dark gown over their part of the world’s northern hemisphere and she gives a curt nod. Blonde tendrils drip with water from a shower she must have just taken, stain an oversized shirt, hanging loosely from her shoulders, sheer in the spots where cascading droplets come to meet the thin white cotton fabric. Legs bare and her face bears the expression of someone who’s had too little sleep to make up for the grams they’ve smoked since their journey into nowhere had first started. She looks like someone who needs a good night’s sleep and a friendly hug. Like someone who has to relearn, not happiness, but mere contentment. She looks like someone who could break hearts, like someone who doesn’t quite know how not to. And when she asks him what’s wrong, since he must have been staring, he wants to tell her that she looks pretty, the way the warm light hits half of her face and her hair a soaked mess. But instead, he just deepens the smile and shakes his head. Nothing.

III. The atmosphere is pregnant with cheap liquor and beer, cigarette smoke drawing circular patterns into the warm air. The two of them are seated in a shadowy nook, somewhere hidden away from sight in the far back of the room. They drink up over and over. He needs a break from hours spent on the run from their prisons that chase them, on the race toward the finish line with rewarding freedom, which he fears is nothing but a modern myth. A flawed tale, told to children to stir false hope, raising them up toward the heavenly skies where angels weep for their fate, so their fall will be greater and the damage irreparable. It’s their fate. Survival is claimed by them with each day they keep going on their journey toward something which they will never find, but they tell each other that it’s better than staying still, being in one place for too long.

He’s gotten a taste for wanderlust and he thinks he might finally get it. The reason people love the complex maze of empty highways at night so much, the sound of running engines and nights spent inside a car parked at a gas station in nowhere, so vacant it oozes a sense of dreadful eeriness and explicit danger. Living the life of nocturnal animals, living from one day to the other, to the next. Ceaseless and constant. He can appreciate it for as long as he’s not alone. Only for as long as she’s by his side to serve the function of the best companion to laugh with, at bleak jokes and the emptiness of their glum existence. How pointless life truly is, or if maybe they’re just too drunk to place its true meaning, the sense binding all hardships and light-headed instances, eventually falling short somewhere down the line.

The chatter of others seamlessly ties into guitar music bleeding through old speakers. He only notices how bad the quality truly is when they walk toward the door in their way out, before they paid for their drinks. Silence falls into the cracks tearing open between them as they shuffle across the damp asphalt, following the glow of street lights. It starts slowly – the rain. Drop by drop it comes falling down, and the angels must be weeping again. She steps ahead, gazes upwards while his heart bends to the breaking point and he’s the twenty year old guy again, snapped from peaceful sleep into a nightmarish world, where the heavy rain doesn’t end. But she draws pirouettes on the sidewalk, twirls and sends her blonde hair spiraling as it follows her circling dance with her palms facing the black sky. He’s still. Torn in conflict, his heart conjuring up the unwanted memories. They’re a growing lump in his throat, so he can’t tell her that for once, the rain isn’t as bad as it’s always been. All of a sudden it’s more bearable – by no means easy, by no means peaceful and tranquil and marvelous, still quite the opposite. But for once, he understands what others must see when they claim the world is more beautiful during a downpour.

IV. He’s unsure of how he got her to go with him, but they sit on the floor in an aquarium. Their final destination before they’d have to exit the beautiful underwater world. Eels and sharks, rays and walruses. Now, they sit here, with no one but two foreigners on vacation nearby, looking at the manatees. Idly floating in the water as if their weight is an illusion they refuse to put on golden scales. Bumping into each other without severe damage taken. And he tells her a story of his sixth birthday and it might be the first personal story he shares with her. How his mother took him out to Coney Island, got him ice cream and he could decide what it was they should be doing for the rest of the day. How she’d taken the day off to be with him, since his father wouldn’t give him that pleasure as he’d begun to openly resent his son just mere years prior. How she’d agreed to take him to the aquarium to gaze at the humble giants living in the sea, lazily floating in water and how often he’d returned there whenever he needed an escape. How they’d eaten a funnel cake for lunch and he’d had to make a promise to never tell his father. He tells her that it’s easily the only day of his childhood he has no qualms remembering. Easily one of the luckiest days he can recall, from when his innocence had still been intact.

It might be sadness and jealousy or some kind of happiness that at least one of them had a decent day in their younger years. He isn’t sure, but it smoothes his story with a thick layer of deep regret. Maybe he shouldn’t have told her, made her aware that his mother actually cares about him, even if it was never enough to deter his father from all his violent words.

Nudging her with his shoulder, he gives her a droopy half-smile, a little lopsided and crooked but absolutely genuine. “Tomorrow we’ll do whatever you want.” It’s a promise he makes, because he longs to see that smile on her face again. The one from the night they’d first met between blood stains and cigarette smoke. Wants to try to make forget how unhappy she may be, feel the sacred present of peace contentment brings. He promises her she gets to call the shots and he promises to be in, no matter what it is she wants to do, without complaint.

After an hour, they’re still on their spots on the ground, cross legged and with slacking posture. And while she still looks at the creatures in the tank, which should be swimming somewhere in freedom, a sick reflection of a feeling he knows she can relate to, he only looks at her. How the blue of the water glows on her fair skin, almost in awe. But he swallows down the words, because he knows she would hear them.

V. Chlorine’s distinctive scent hangs in the tepid air like a disease, but the cold of the swimming pool’s water makes it easier to handle the southern heat. They went for the house with no cars parked up front, the driveway as vacant as the star-shy sky above their heads. Rid of most of their clothes, they dove head first into the cold. Water sticks their undergarments to their bodies, the dim light of 6AM keeps them safe and sound. Pallid tinges of orange and blue stretch across the cope of heaven, a gradient disrupted by few painted clouds, sparsely scattered across the gaping view.

Empty bottles, a small quantity of two, lie on the green grass some feet from the border of the pool. He isn’t sure for how long they’ve been in here, splashing water in each other’s faces until they couldn’t breathe anymore, how many sips of whisky they’ve spilled to merge with the water, heavy with chemicals to keep it sterile to the touch. She holds her legs wrapped around his waist she’s weightless, stares up into the transforming sky on her back with her arms extended to either side of her slim frame. The halo of blonde hair floats just below the water’s surface and for a moment they’re absolutely still. He’s only recently learned about her penchant for the taking of photographs to last an eternity and remembers asking if he could look at some of the pictures taken by her to see if they coincide with his imagined concept of the talent of a young woman with tragedy woven into her DNA. He doesn’t remember the answer she’s given him through the neon haze of night, doesn’t remember what’s the reason he hasn’t laid a single eye on her photographs or if there’s a reason to retreat for solace to, at all. And he keeps his own occupation to himself, a secret tucked away in the shadow cast by a heart beating painfully violent inside his chest.

But now there’s just calmness and tranquil motion and he licks his lips to be welcomed by the taste of whisky and chlorine. It’s disgusting but he doesn’t grimace. She says that in a moment like this she feels like they can live forever. That they are eternal like the gods people pray to and the thought alone makes his skin crawl. He replays the sound of her voice inside his head, until it resounds from the bone of his ears like stray bullets. Clear enough to cut glass and yet he can tell the consequences of one too many drinks from the bottles. All glazed eyes and a heavy heart, deadpan and vacant of emotion. It prompts another shiver down his spine.

She presses her legs against his sides, his hands on her lower back following when she pulls herself up to one level with him. And when she asks him if it sounds silly, if he thinks so, too, there’s a spark ignited behind those eyes, which remind him of a life he’d once lived. Missed opportunities and enduring until he’s devoid of purpose. She asks him if they could be like that, he’s missing nothing but the words to phrase an eloquent answer. There’s something so terribly akin to hope in her gaze it makes his stomach twitch and twist into a wound up coil, riddled with anxiety. He wants to tell her that if nothing’s wrong and nothing’s right they can be whatever they want. That she looks heavenly and makes him wish he’d had his camera with him, but his breath isn’t big enough to bring it all tumbling from his mouth. So instead he leans in, plants a short yet tender kiss on her lips, for it’s the only answer he has for someone like her.

VI. The road’s so long, emptiness wrapped up in the landscape, he forgets that they don’t have a clue of where they’re headed. She just follows the trail of asphalt, mended at the cracks neglectfully, as if the constructors had little concern for the wellbeing of those simply driving through. They’re headed toward the darkness unfolding in the sky on the line of a faint horizon, singing along to some Springsteen song and are so off tune he can’t help but cringe occasionally. But it barely does enough to capture his smile and make it disappear, so all that’s left for it to do is growing and widening, deepening until it’s bearing teeth and turns into a full-fledged grin. Night time is just an hour away, but he knows better than to bid the sun goodbye. He knows she’ll return when the morning breaks and the firmament mends itself back together, where night had torn it open at the old seams.

He looks over as they sing along, and it’s refreshing. Nothing matters, and the existential weight of the cosmos and their Milky Way galaxy is lifted from their fragile shoulders and dissolve into star dust glistening in the empty atmosphere. Through the smile she holds he recognizes familiarity, heavy lidded and yawning between the hook and chorus. And when the song’s over and they’re both breathless and smiling and their throats are sore from giving their everything for nothing, she tells him they need to refill once they hit the next gas station. Her voice is hoarse and tired and nothing like it usually is. He nods, notices she hasn’t seen and utters a quiet affirmation, vocal enough just so she can hear. And it won’t be until an hour later that they are greeted by the friendly neon shell of orange and red, and the car gets pulled over until it comes to a halt, the engine dies when she twists the key and wants to get out. It’s he who stops her dead in her tracks. A hand on her shoulder and he tells her that it’s fine, he will take care of it. She should just go to sleep. It’s been a long forty-two hours they’ve spent awake and talking, musing and retreating into bubbles of silence, like they are the only living souls on a dead planet that lies in ashes and rubble in an empty galaxy.

When he gets out he watches her climb onto the backseat and he gives her a last of his faint smile, which he is almost sure she doesn’t see. The gas tank gets as full as it bears to be. He brings some food and two bags of chips with a discount of a dollar for each, for the two of them, some bottles of water, too, since they can’t live off of weed and whisky at all times.

And when he returns and sits down behind the wheel, he heaves a long sigh. Squeezes his eyes shut, wondering what the hell it is that he’s doing with a girl so young and so full of poison. But then he remembers her words: My father didn’t want me. My mom didn’t either… She’s never said it to my face, but I can tell, I know she thinks that he would’ve stuck around if they never had me.

He turns his head around, looks at her in the dim flicker of a street light, the shadows it casts in stark contrast. A shadow play on her features, sound asleep and peaceful for once. Like there’s not a single bad memory she’d ever made, like she’s loved and knows, secure in a family she deserves. He says her name lowly, wants to see if she’s awake. She doesn’t stir a single muscle, unfazed by the intrusion of his raspy whisper. And so he peels his arms from his jacket’s sleeves, takes it off and shifts to put it over her body to serve as a make-shift blanket. He looks at her for a while, breathing into the silence, and his eyes seem like he’s concerned.

“I’m sorry.” He says into the void prevailing in the still vehicle and he means it. Part of him glad she’s asleep to never memorize the foolish confession of a man who finds pieces of himself reflected in things she’s willingly sharing with him so far, part of him reveling in moderate indifference, not worried what would be if her slumber is a mere pretense and she’d become witness to what he’s about to say. He reaches out, wants to stroke back strands of blonde which have slipped and fallen to cover closed eyes, but stops mere inches away. Lets his arm drop and hit against the front seat’s backrest, not too concerned with the noise it might create. “You’re beautiful and you don’t even know.” Ironic, truly. “And if they don’t see that, it’s not your fault.”

#lllittledreamer #( answered. )#this feels like 'welcome to hell. i'm your personal tour guide satan. enjoy the ride.'#i have no words for what the shit i just wrote i just ? ?#long post #drug mention tw #x. | and nothing's wrong when nothing's true; i live in a hologram with you. ( jen & asher )

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unlikelydreamlandcreation-blog · 6 years ago

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Does anyone know of good Health Insurance?

"Does anyone know of good Health Insurance?

I have Blue Cross HMO, and it really hasnt worked for me. I need surgery on my knee and i've been waiting for 2 months to get it done, thanks to the fact that my insurance requires me to see a general doctor first (who makes u wait for like a month for an appt for a simple referral) then get another appointment for a specialist (wait another month) then wait 3 weeks again for an MRI, and now i have to wait another week and a half for surgery. Please, help me find a good insurance. I'm tired of this! I live in southern california if that helps. Thanks

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i want to insure my 125 motorbike for just a month. it cost me between 500-600 pounds for a year so how much is a month round about?

Ticket and insurance rates?

My parents have 3 cars all insured in their names. I am 18 and I have my license but they never put me on the insurance because I almost never drive I usually just bike or get rides so it would be a waste of money putting me on. But recently I had to drive and I got a ticket driving for the first time in about 6 months. I am trying to get my ticket taken off my record but if I can't and it stays on then whats next? will it affect my parents insurance? or will I be forced to get on the insurance too? Is there anything I can do since I'm most likely not going to drive again until I go out and buy my own car later on.

What auto insurance to get?

Im 17. Drive 1993 bmw 318is e36 black Car title is on my name Still live with parents Barely make 500 a month and still need to get new paint job and new tires. Ive calculated and turns out thats around 1k. So what auto insurance would be good for me? At least so it covers the damage done by me to other people.. not to expensive please. East Tennessee

Explain why auto insurance costs are so high for young drivers?

please EXPLAIN in the longest way possible

Is there ANY way to get birth control without insurance and not have to spend an arm and leg?

I'm 20 and covered by my parents' insurance-i'm a student and part-time server and do not get benefits or insurance through school. My parents however do not want to ...show more

Monthly motorcycle costs in Florida?

Are there any monthly costs to owning a motorcycle in Florida other than maintanence and the payments on the actual motorcycle that are mandatory? Like will my health insurance go up or anything? I know motorcycle insurance isn't required but I didn't know if like Id have to pay more for liability of others. please only answer if you are a Florida motorcycle owner. Thanks!

Insurance?

About how much more expensive is a life insurance policy for a smoker in realtion to a nonsmoker.( I need a figure)

What is the best website for cheap car insurance?

Im going to be driving soon but the insurance for young drivers is ridiculous. I just want to know what insurance company does the best insurance deals for new drivers. Thank you!! :D

What is the cheapest insurance company for 17 year olds?

im 16 but will be turning 17 in a few months. to get ahead of the game and in the know i decided to start looking at cars and insurance straight away. my car of choice would be a 1995-1999 Vauxhall corsa 1.0 0r 1.2 litre as they cheap to buy, run and supposedly insure. ive looked around for insurance qutoes for myself when i turn 17 and recieve my full ik license but all quotes so far are above 4,000 even with a pass plus. is there any companys to get it below 3,000 or anywhere close. i realise i am never going to get cheap insurance straight away but i would consider 3,000 a much more reasonable quote and would love it to be closer to 2.000. also any tips or advice on getting cheaper insurancewould be greatly appreciated thanks guys""

Do you have to have full coverage on a used car?

im 21 at the moment and my gf has told me that if i get a car it has to have full insurance but thats kinda strange because they have other types of coverage that i wouldnt need

Maternity Leave Insurance?

My husbands cousin told me about an insurance that covered her maternity leave. She got this insurance when she was 5 months pregnant and it covered her for 3 months of time off. My employer does not offer paid time off and I need an insurance that will cover my maternity leave even though Im pregnant right now. She doesnt remember what insurance it was.

""If i get cheap insurance on my leased car, can the bank find out and reposess it?""

i believe i am supposed to have comprehensive coverage on the car, however its just way to expensive to do that as well as the ridiclous payment i have. I heard somewhere that if you get the cheaper insurance, that the bank can find out and take the car back, which i would obviously like to avoid.""

Were can I buy cheap insurance to reg a 1966 Vw bug?

I live in daytona florida

Where can i get the cheapest car insurance in the uk from im 17 thanks?

How to find insurance companies for joint ventures?

How to find Insurance companies wanting to do a joint venture of a $100 million and up. not insurance brokers

What health insurance plan should I buy?

Hi I'm currently looking for a health insurance. I live in southern California. I'm a 27 year old female, 30 lbs overweight, no known medical condition, looking for something to cover mainly major or serious medical problems. Dont know whats better Kaiser Permanente or Blue Shield Blue Cross? Should I look for a high deductible plan or a copayment plan, PPO or HMO? Really confused!!!!!!""

""Already expensive and soaring prices for the US health care, what can be done?""

Many folks just like you living either in Europe or Canada are paying much less in health care than us Americans. It was just a week ago I went to shop for dentist. In four different dentists each dentist give me a different quote, different prices when ALL of the services where the same. Something is wrong in this picture. I came to ask myself are doctors putting their own price tags on their services since they are NOT regulated. This is NOT about Democrat or Republican or any politics, it is a community asset that needs to be provided for the community in affordable prices like anybody else living outside the US. The notion that it is expensive in the US because of better services and top quality medicine is simply a hoax, because ALL MEDICATIONS contain the same ingredients, but different brand names. This is where government NEEDS to step in, and make sure nobody open up a business and put up their own price tags. Pharmacuetical companies may have spent MILLIONS to research and produce medicine but that should NOT all PAID by the consumers. Why should a patient pay for a money that is somehow added to your medical bills and medicine price because of pharmaceuticals research?. When it comes to college tuition and health care, everyone should put politics a side and draw a line between Capitalism and community assets. We elect our officials to provide us, secure us, and work for us, and when folks who only see making profit are more influential and more powerful than our elected officials than something must be done in here. Drugs made by US manufactures are sold to other countries for less than Americans can buy them. If nothing is done in here, I WILL DO SOMETHING, good or bad. Just to get results different than what we have today. Join me.""

""My teen had a minor accident, will my insurance go up?""

My daughter who is 16 yrs old tapped a car from behind at a stop sign. There was no damage done to either car and no injuries. The guy said he was not going to do anything about it since there was no damages. My daughter gave him her information (insurance etc). I called the guy to make sure everything was ok, he said nothing happened to his car or himself but he went ahead and opened a claim with my insurance because he thought he had to do that. I know that if he decides to ask for damages the insurance will pay. My question to you is if he decides not to ask for damages, will my insurance still go up and will she get points in her driver's license. Also, I'd like to add that we live in California. I have not talked to my insurance (AAA) yet. Thank you""

Driving without car insurance?

So, Im broke and I know its a really awful idea to drive without car insurance, but Im a little unclear about what the rules actually are. I know it is illegal to drive without car insurance b/c I got a ticket for it once when I just didnt have my proof of insurance with me, but it was a pretty small fine, is that the only legal consequence of it? I'm a pretty good driver, no accidents so far (knock on wood), and if I were to get into an accident it would probably not be my fault. Is it true if you get in a car accident without car insurance and its not your fault then you are still financially responsible for the damages to your car? ...Like because you dont have insurance the other drivers insurance doesnt acknowledge the accident or something? Anyway, as of 10 min from now my insurance policy will expire and im tempted to not get new insurance for a month or so until im more financially stable. What are the consequences im missing? Anyone know of really cheap insurance? other thoughts? BTW im still paying down the last couple thousand dollars on my car so I think i may be required to have full coverage insurance or I default on my loan, but im not sure. My loan is through a credit union, what may be the consequences if they find out?""

Cheapest Insurance company?

I'm looking to downsize my premium today and called about 10 largest companies, I'm sure there's more that has more affordable rates Thank you""

Does my son need car insurance?

I have a son and he just got his license, hes 16 yrs old. and we only have one car at the moment. Its just me and him and I have insurance already under my name, I have AAA in California. My question is since he got his license does he need to be put under my insurance also or is the car already insured since its already in my name?""

Rear ended in a three car crash. Who's insurance is liable?

I was rear ended in a 3 car crash, I am the first one. Car 2 hit me first ( I feel 2 impact), then car 3 slightly bump the car 2. My rear bumper ( car 1) damaged and the front of car 2 got heavy damage. the rear bumper of car 2 almost no damage. also, the front of car 3 look like new. Problem is car 2 insurance only agreed to pay 50% because they said after car 2 rear end me , car 3 rear end car 2 that make further damage to my rear bumper. Car 3 insurance will not pay anything because base on the damage they found, car 3 can't make any damage to me. The repair cost is less than 1000 ( my deductable) , I don't want to use my own insurance to repair my car, coz I think my ins co will not fight for my 1000 deductable. What I can do? I am not agreed what the car 2 insurance co said. Should I go to small claim court or.... its only 850 dollars.""

Does anyone know of good Health Insurance?

What insurance company provides the best rates?

So I just bought my Volkswagon Beetle and need to insure it. I'm looking for the most affordable and most reliable insurance company out there. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance

Can anyone give me an estimate for A 17 year old car insurance!?

Hello I am 17 in december and am looking to insure A classic Austin Mini 998cc and I was just wondering if anyone would have any estimate idea of how much it would cost to insure!? :)

Which company gives best insurance to young drivers?

I'm currently 17 and the cheapest quote i've got at the moment is 4000 on my own car as the main policy holder but with my dad as the main driver i've found a quote for 1500. but does anyone know which companies are good for young drivers?

Is health insurance important to young people?

Where can i get cheap car insurance?

I am an eighteen year old and i need to get cheap car insurance on a 1999 grandam

Insurance cost?

I have 2 cars, a 2002 honda civic & a 2007 camry. How much should i be paying as insurance cost for both cars every 6 months ? I'm 30 yrs & have been a responsible driver so far.""

Are there any car insurance companies that wont force me to be on my parent's insurance policy?

I got my license 4 months ago and I have NEVER driven since getting it. Not even once. I don't drive. I ride the bus or my bicycle everywhere I go. I don't need car insurance. I don't want car insurance. I live with my parents and their insurance requires that they add me to their coverage simply because I have a license. Are there any insurance companies that don't require me to be on my parents' plan like this?

""Car accident, insurance and no insurance, what happens?""

So I got into a car accident, both cars totalled. I have insurance for the car and the other person does not have insurance, what happens? thanks""

Where can i get car insurance for under 2000 for my 17 year old son?

just passed his test

Will Insurance ding me for this?

I had 8 hour traffic school which cleared a previous ticket. I went to court last week and asked for 12hr traffic school for another and was told that this will clear the point but the ticket will be visible. I have AAA insurance and was wondering if this will affect my rates. Thanks.

What Auto insurance company's police number start with NIC? (NIC000435X)?

California speedin and no proof of insurance ticket?

It was dark and raining. I just came off the bay bridge in SF and am positive I was driving below 40 on the bridge and between 40-60 when I got off the bridge. The cop was on 80E past fremont exit. He said I was at 67 in a 50 zone and also did not give me enough time to look for my proof of insurance. He said lets make this easy and quick and cited me for speeding and for no insurance and not no proof of insurance. He cited both as non-correctable. It this accurate? I don't think his radar reading isaccurate. How can I challenge this?

Is there any Insurance for?

Is there any insurance that does cover cosmetic surgrey? Or Social Security? If you don't know then don't comment :) 10 pts!

Is it common for homeowners insurance to up without notice?

I have only owned my home for a year. I got a letter from my mortgage company stating that my payment would go up because my taxes and home owners insurance has gone up. I contacted statefarm to find out why my insurance went up (i was not notified) and was told that the company increased my dwelling coverage. Is this common?

""Anyone know of an affordable individual health/dental insurance plan for Brooklyn, NY?""

I no longer have school insurance and my work does not offer insurance. I am looking for an affordable health/dental insurance plan in Brooklyn, New York. Is dental included in medical insurance or is that separate? I don't want to spend $600-$1000 on a premium for an HMO, but would rather spend a few hundred a month while getting a decent amount of benefits. Also, does anyone know of a comparison chart online regarding details of insurance providers including premiums and benefits. All I can find are complaint comparison charts for insurance providers. Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!""

California speeding and no proof of insurance ticket?

How much is insurance for a nissan santra?

I'm 16 and I would like to get a nissan santra 2002 and I would like to know how much insurance is for it? also if you know any good quote sites thats easy and fast? thanks

Need health insurance to get from age 62 to 65?

I plan to retire in a year and need to find more affordable health insurance to get me to medicare age. I have the option of keeping my existing workplace provider, but at a cost of 800 dollars a month for my wife and I. I have been given a recommendation of a company called First Chioce Insurance . I beleive they are based in Florida. Anybody have any dealings with them?..thanks, Vince""

Where can I get affordable dental insurance?

Question about motorcycle insurance?

Ok... I know that insurance is different from person to person but in general who is the best company to be with for motorcycle insurance. What is the average lowest price, who actually will do their job when its time for a claim. Who has the best or most coverages for a cycle. All these different things. So who is the best...""

How long after a DMV hearing will your insurance be notified ?

I recently had my DMV hearing am in the process of getting a sr-22 with another insurance company . I am not the primary holder of my current insurance I want to avoid their rate to go up or for them to find out . How many days do I have to cancel my current insurance before they cancel me .?? Please help ?

What is the difference between Investment life Insurance and Life risk insurance?

What are the products included under the category Investment life Insurance and Life risk insurance?

SO confused about this car insurance issue?

ok, due to being in the hospital giving birth, i missed a second payment on my car insurance in one term. i was told by my broker that was it, there was nothing i could do, they would cancel. my insurance company is ING. i said ok so what next? she told me on july 10th that they were sending out a registewred letter that day stating it was cancelled (my payment was late on june 25th). 2 wks later i had not received anything so i called my broker again. this was at 1 pm (they close at 4) and no one called me back. finally, i called back again, she called ING and called me back saying ok they said if you can pay it today it wont be cancelled (i had asked MULTIPLE times if this was an option, i was told no) by the time she told me that, it was 330 pm. I live a 1/2 drive away and by the time i got the baby together, went to the bank etc, it would be after their closing time so i couldnt do that. i contacted another broker who my mother deals with and he told me that they would send me my""

Your age and car insurance rate?

How old are you and how much does your car insurance cost monthly? Would a part-time job at a mall store or movie theatre pay enough to cover an 18-year-old's car insurance?

Auto Insurance Broker fee in CALIFORNIA?

What is the average auto insurance broker fee in California. What's the minimum and maximum broker fee? My auto insurance bill states the total costs for my six month policy premium is $200.00, but I paid the broker $275. How is it calculated? I just want to make sure he didn't over charge me. If possible, please include links. If I call my auto insurance company, will they be able to tell me or will I have to call the broker and find out. Your assistance is very much appreciated.""

Does anyone know of good Health Insurance?

Do all car insurance companies need a deposit?

Im getting a car this weekend, i havent passed my driving test yet and im 18. But all the insurance quotes i have looked at need a deposit, can i get one that doesnt need a deposit, because at the moment i cant afford that one of payment for the deposit. HELP PLEASE!!!""

""How much is your full coverage insurance cost? 19 year old, 2 speeding tickets, live in WA, for Celica GTS?""

I know it varies from place to place, based on driving record, car, etc, etc etc. Im just looking to get average insurance costs. I am 19 years old, I have two speeding tickets (both 30 mph over), student, live in WA, insuring a clean title 2003 Toyota Celica GTS. What are you paying on average for similar discriptions.""

""17, first speeding ticket, is insurance going up?!?

Got my first speeding ticket and I'm 2 months from being 18. I live in Washington and I'm on my dad's state farm insurance. I was caught 11 mph over the limit (25) and I'm not sure if it was in a school zone but it probably was. The fine is $154. I think my dad's been w/ sf for several years. How screwed am I?? If rates go up even one cent my dad is going to murder me

1 day or Weekend Auto Insurance?

Hi Guys, I have a car that has no insurance on it since i am not using it any more but still runs good. I need to travel to NY from Detroit this weekend and again don't need it any more there in NY. Are there any cheap Auto Insurance firms that give us auto insurance for the weekend only. Thanks a lot for the help.""

Whats the cheapest car insurance company in Missouri?

I am 20 and attend college. I never needed a car before but now that I have to start driving, I have to get my driver's license. I have my permit and a car but since I need legal tags and insurance to take the driving test. I have to get insurance before I can get tags. So I wanted to know whats the best insurance company for me, where prices won't be outrageous??? Thanks for the help: )""

Can car insurance companies commit a driving offence? (IN10)?

My car insurance company (One Call) recently cancelled my policy due to them not receiving my proof of no claims in time (that's another issue). However, they failed to notify me in time and I carried on driving my car for 5 days un insured, until the letter arrived (policy cancelled on 10/9/12 and letter sent 14/9/12). Does anyone know if they have committed an offence, IN10 or other? They also charged me 205 cancellation (even though an extension on the proof of no claims was agreed and then later denied when I questioned them) Any advice is very welcome. Thanks.""

""I have the title to and own my car, does ohio still require that i carry state minimum insurance?

i heard on a radio show that if you had the title to your car you don't need to have collision or comprehensive insurance

Insurance Status of a car buyer?

I am selling my car. Somebody comes to view and test drive my car. He doesn't have any car before so no insurance of his own. If he test drive my car and have an accident. What would be the insurance status? (I am on admiral by the way) UK People only Please. Thank you.

How much will Liability Car Insurance Cost For A 20 year Old Male?

Im going to get a car soon, something 2004 or older.""

How much would car insurance cost on average?

How much would car insurance cost on average for a 19-year old male, living on his own, drives about 40 miles a day and has had no traffic violations. what would the cost per month be?""

Does your car insurance go up if you get a parking ticket?

I was just being dumb today and I parked in a neighborhood where you can't park. I accept the fact that I was in the wrong and all that. The fine is $80. What I'm most concerned with is whether or not it will increase my car insurance rate. My first thought was no, because it was a parking violation, not a driving violation. But considering how crazy car insurance companies are, I just am not sure. Any help? Thanks in advance.""

Do I need to mention car insurance claims when going for motorbike insurance?

Title says it all really! I have a car insurance claim against me which I want to know if I have to declare when applying for motorbike insurance. Hopefully not, because motorcycling is quite different to car driving..?! Thanks!""

Why is my car insurance so high?

I can't seem to find decent coverage that doesn't break my bank. Here's my current policy that I'm paying 861/month for: Bodily injury/property liability: 12,500/person, 25,000/accident, 7,500/accident Comprehensive: 1,000 deductible Collision: 2,000 deductible NO other coverage. I drive a 2010 Jetta that I OWN, I'm a 23 year old male, I've never filed a claim/been in an accident, and I haven't gotten a ticket of any kind in 5 years. Does this make sense? Am I missing some secret to affordable insurance? I have a feeling it's because I didn't finish college and I have no credit, but still... Sigh. Any help is greatly appreciated.""

Car insurance for total loss?

I got a car accident due to bad weather and got a total loss. No one is involved in the accident. I`ve got a full coverage insurance at that time. The insurance company is cancelled a contract with me after a claim (accident) I issued, which I found it through insurance agency. The insurance company said that they did not know the previous accident record on my driver license. Then they cancelled the contract. Can I possibly claim a complain with my insurance company? I terribly need any car since I use a car for my job. The insurance company said they will not give me any money either a car. What should I do? Thank you""

Car insurance Expired?

My car insurance will expire 12:01 am Friday. I owe a past due balance and also....for me to renew the total would be 353.00..I don't have the money so im thinking about just letting it expire and going with someone else. Will that balance go into collections?

How much will an average full coverage insurance for a BMW motorcycle cost. Type k1200r.?

I have no traffic violation and perfect credit record. I am 56 years old.

SHould i trust AIS insurance broker co.?

I just got an auto insurance quote from AIS and they gave me $250 for 6 months for my 1999 ford. that's like $44/month for a 15000/30000 liability insurance and it is through MERCURY insurance co.... should i trust this and go with it?? i currently have GEICO paying $545 for 6 months

Finding 2000-3000 insurance for young driver?

With my UK license I intend on buying myself a car for university (GOLF or POLO). Being a young driver (19 years old), insurers are less than happy to offer cheap insurances. The best quote I've found so far from gocompare and dozens of other websites are Quinn Direct with 3800. Could you please suggest where to get cheap 3rd party insurance, you're welcome to mention other car models if it helps cheapening it. Thanks""

Car Insurance Rates (Speeding Ticket) (California Colorado insurance)?

Ok, so I got a speeding ticket. I'm 19, am a Californian resident but got ticketed for doing 96 in a 65 zone on the highway. I took a drivers education class immediately the week after, but I have a court date next week on Monday, the violation is a 6 point traffic offense as per the ticket. This is my first offense of any type. I am a good student, I ended up speeding because it was the end of the first week of school and I felt good, that was very stupid. Now, the car is registered under my dads name, he hasn't gotten a ticket for about 15 years, besides a talking on cellphone will driving citation in California a few years ago. My question is, how much will this hike my dads insurance premium? I haven't told them my parents I got a speeding ticket, but I will as soon as I get done with court... Yea, and how does a ticket in Colorado get transferred to the insurance agency in California? How long does it take? I really hope the judge marks the ticket down at least a point or two if I plea bargain. Thanks, I know I screwed up big time, but I don't need any comments scolding me, it's been in my mind for 2 months and its killing me thinking what might what will happen at court. I also drive a Volvo, if that means anything insurance wise haha.""

Car Insurance and driving other cars?

So I have a question - most of you will laugh at me lol. My policy says I can drive any other vehicle as long as I have the drivers permission. BUT I watched an old episode of Cops today and I thought they said that if you aren't a named driver, it's illegal.. So... My question is simple. Can I hop I to say my dad's car and drive it or do I have to be a named driver on his policy? Good grief I've managed to confuse myself even more... Much love to the brilliant person/people that wade through my confusion and clear this up for me ""

Where can I get a cheap-ish car insurance quote online?

I'm pregnant with no insurance and don't qualify for medicaid.?

I just found out I am pregnant. I'm 18, and I want to be realistic about how I can do this. I do NOT have insurance, and I know for a fact that my mother makes too much money (that all goes to bills) for me to qualify for medicaid. We literally have nothing left over, and still struggle. So I would have to pay out of pocket.. but I have nothing to my name. I just had a job interview but even that isn't guaranteed & I'm not even sure if I can work because I am already getting morning sickness. The father has no money or insurance whatsoever. & I am not stupid enough to rely on him. Is there any way that I can get help? *Please no lectures on how I should of thought of that before. No ****. We all make mistakes. Thank you.""

Car insurance renewal ques?

i have car insurance with admiral and its going to be automatically renewed tomorow at 17:30 so can i cancel before that, am i within rights or will they charge before that? the reason being i have found a much cheaper quote else where, i paid admiral for the car insurance using debit card so will payment be taken same day tomorow on renewal date?""

Abt cancelation of car insurance?

i have taken car insurance from admiral .its abt 10 months installments.each month 70 pounds direct debit,its a third party insurance.unfortuntaely after paying 1 month(70) insurance.my car got big accident.i had given my car to scrap. when i called to my admiral insurance company to cancel my insurace.they are not doing it.pls can u tell me any other way to cancel my insurance..can i cancel my direct debit of insurance from bank?is der any problemss if i do direct debit""

""If you take drivers ed online, will it still reduce your insurance cost?

I am fifteen almost sixteen and i want to take drivers ed online instead of during the school year. If i take it online will it still reduce my insurance cost? I also live in the state of Montana.

Does anyone know of good Health Insurance?

How much is a moped? Test and insurance?

Struggling to afford a car, so looking at buying a mope until I have a decent wage to afford a car. How much would the test be and on average how much would insurance be?""

How much do you pay for car insurance?

These quotes are OUTRAGEOUS!

How could i get reasonable insurance for a range rover at 19years old?

how could i get reasonable insurance for a range rover vougue 2005 diesel at age nineteen with no claims ? and how much would the insurance be

How much is car and home insurance?

sorry this is kinda long.. but... im doing a project for economics class. and we have to figure out our future, like make a resume and a job app a cover letter, and all this other stuff after we picked a career we are interested in doing with our lives. so, we have to figure out our budget like housing stuff, housing bills, transportation like car insurance and car payment. investing and miscelaneous like cell phone bills internet and entertainment to name a few.. after this. we take our total monthly net pay, and subtract our total monthly expenses and thats our remaining income just for whatever. but i am having trouble finding house insurance, and car insurance. all i am getting from searching is quotes, and i dont need that.. i jus need a straight up dollar amount. if anyone can help.. that would be great.. thanks.""

Best individual insurance health plans???

I'm 19, I'm healthy, healthy weight, all that. I want a basic cheap health insurance plan that covers regular check ups and vision would be nice too, but thats not necessary. Anybody have any suggestions???""

Cheapest car insurance?

I understand that car insurance rates will vary from person to person, but I really need to know the names of at least one or two companies that, in general, have cheaper auto insurance. I mean, who had the cheapest auto insurance for you?""

How much would it cost to put an 18 year old on progressive car insurance?

I have to add my daughter to my insurance and I want some input before I make any decisions. What is a good estimate for how much it would cost?

Car insurance help?

Ok so im about to turn 16 (5 more months). my parents said they would get me a car, but only if i paid my own insurance. can u please tell me how much it would be a month. and what company would be the lowest price. . can u please give me an average amount a month so i know what my goal to save up is. white 16 yr old male audi a4 2.0T V6 (used) Car will be mostly used for school and my job. My GPA is 3.83 i dont know what else""

Where can i find affordable health insurance??

I am turning 23 in feb. and i loose my dependant status because my parents are military so i need to find some health insurance.

List of top insurance companies in USA?

Can u pls list down top 20 US companies in each category of insurance ... Car Home Life Health Property Marine General etc.

A good hatchback car for 1000 with a cheap insurance for young people?

I've been looking at so many cars and I really don't think I've found one really worht the money I'm looking for a car that's not old All I have seen is a Rover Metro and Peugeot 205/306 and some others but some of these car are still too old I just really want some good advice, thanks :)""

Good Health Insurance for individual?

I'd like to know if there are any affordable health insurances that can cover, at least in most part, doctor visits, low cost prescriptions and sometimes specialist visits. I don't go to the doctor very often, I can spend a year or more without a visit but I still need the insurance. I have a part-time job which doesn't offer me any benefits so I'm on a budget when it comes to health insurance. I am still considered dependent but a family health plan is not an option at the moment. Any good health insurance that is affordable with a part time job in Florida?""

Can having your car insurance cancelled lower your credit score?

My friend had his car insurance cancelled because his wife had a few wrecks in a few years and then a DUI. They were on the same policy. Last month is when they were told their car insurance would be cancelled. Last month Equifax dropped his credit score 100points (don't know about hers). They only reason he knew about the credit score drop was because his one and only credit card had the limit lowered 75% The only thing he can think of that changed was the car insurance. Could cancelled car insurance affect your credit?

Advice needed on Car Insurance?

I'm a 18 sixth form student who is learning to drive. I am currently looking at getting car insurance to make it easier to pass and then for afterwards but what would work out cheaper? - Get insurance on my mums car fully comp, as she doesnt want it wrecked! - Or buy a cheap little car for under 1000, and then insure it third party, to get my no claims bonus. Just ideas would be appreciated as well as advice. Cheers!""

Grace period between car purchase and insurance purchase?

In NYC is there a grace period between the time that you purchase a vehicle and the time that you purchase insurance? I'll probably be making the purchase next weekend and hopefully my insurance within that same following week. I heard before (I believe I heard it on Cops) that you had 30 days to purchase insurance so long as you kept the purchase receipt for the vehicle in the vehicle, and when you get pulled over (if), you would hand the officer the purchase receipt as a temp insurance and say that you are actively seeking an insurer. Is this true? I'm 20 years old and purchasing my first car (yes you can say hello to my $6000 a year insurance quotes)...so I don't really have much experience in the area. Any info would be awesome - thank you! Also, what exactly is the process? To my understanding it goes like this: 1) Purchase vehicle 2) Purchase insurance 3) Register the vehicle Is this correct?""

Car Insurance can anyone help please?

I am due to renew my car insurance i have just received my renewal quote, I am fully Comp and have Uninsured Loss Recovery. My quote states that this does not include Legal Assistance. Do l need legal Assistance lf l have fully comp insurance with ULR ? I have looked on the web and ULR and Legal Assistance seem to be practically the same thing. Any help would be appreciated, Thanks.""

Can I purchase two insurance policies for one vehicle?

Just wondered if anyone knew if it was possible to have 2 car insurance policies on one car? The situation is this: I share an insurance policy with my mom and its under her name. We have recently renewed our policy for a year and are getting a good rate. However, last week I have gotten a DUI and most likely will have my license suspended. In order to reinstate it I will have to file an SR22 form with an insurance company. I heard that one way to keep your current policy (if the current preferred company does not find out about your DUI violation- which they wouldnt for another year), is to buy minimum liability with one of our companies with an SR22 filing. This way DMV is satisfied because you have made your filing - and since your current company has not found out about your drunk driving offense - you are able to keep your current policy. I need to know asap if this is possible so would really appreciate any replies! Thanks""

If I can't afford the affordable care insurance how do I know what the penalty is for not subscribing?

Can you get medical insurance on a motorcycle?

If I were to buy a bike could I get medical insurance on the bike that covered any injuries that I could get if I got hurt on the bike. Also how much do you think it would cost? Any web sites I could go too?

Do I need insurance on a 50cc moped/scooter in Oregon?

...and if so how much? I'm looking at a 1986 honda spree and saw that it gets great gas mileage, registration is cheap, it's perfect for me. I'm a poor college student, working part time, and am in need of a money saver. So an estimate of insurance IF I need it would be great! :)""

Where to find low cost medical insurance?

How much would insurance be on a 1986 honda civic si hatchback?

I need to know asap how much estimated it would be to add this car to insurance. (state farm) I just bought it for 800 bucks and i need to know also how much in total it would be to get on the road.. register, title switch , tags all that good stuff...im un VIRGINIA btw.. need any more info ask..""

Insurance school in noth california?

What does a term life insurance medical exam consist of?

And what companies do people recommend.

What is the cheapest auto insurance in general/in NM?

I feel like i'm paying too much for auto insurance (i have aaa) what other insurnce cold I get that will be the cheapest, I don't drive my car all that much, I just want the cheapses rather than nothing.""

Does anyone know of good Health Insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/state-farm-insurance-daniel-cross/"

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survivorwesteros · 8 years ago

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Episode 10: the gag is you actually have to PLAY to succeed - Luke

Jordan Pines is mean to me. I love Drew. I love Luke. Steffen can eat a dick. Andrew is an icon. Darian is a mess.

Who is this Nic?

how do i feel? dead inside. i sent steffen receipts of jordan saying he wants steffen out cause........................................................................... why not i dont feel like i can trust jordan! and i still might vote steffen out cause i wanna win

I guess I've been playing like Tony? Only in the sense I'm trying to blindside people out of paranoia that theyre gonna blindside me first.

I'm definitely not in power like Tony I'm more like... in the middle. I went from the bottom to the bottom of the middle... I'm shooting for atleast true middle.

Welcome to today’s episode of…………..

DO WE FLIP ON JORDANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(fans scream as Bob Barker rises from the not-quite-dead with his long-ass stick microphone)

As mentioned in last week’s episode (although not really because I haven’t done a confessional that wasn’t Gilmore Girls related in weeks), flipping on Jordan would be a shitty thing to do. He and I have been playing together since the very beginning, he even let me off of the Others before him, which led me to Lannister to make the new tribes and just put me in the most amazing place ever. Find Luke, work with Ashley and Darian (rip the dead), get Jordan back, never lose a challenge, the joys and thrills of pitting Darian and Luke against each other. Since merge, we’ve worked through every plan together and been right about every vote except Lily, and we got immediate and swift revenge for that. We’ve planned every step together, he’s been in the vast majority of my alliances, he’s kept a hold on working with Nic while I have with Luke, which has gotten us to the point we’re at now, the chance to walk to the end. We play the tribal phase of the game so well but we’ve never made a merge together, and this game we’ve finally gotten the chance to play a merge together and it’s gone amazingly well. Like AMAZINGLY well. We ran this game from the second we pulled all the corners together and blindsided Ashley. It would be an amazing end to the story to get to the end together and fight it out.

But.

I think he beats me if he gets there with me. He has two practically built-in votes of Ben and Lily in a jury of eight. That’s terrifying. And if we’re at the end with Luke, he would get Nic too. I think he’s the only one here of the six who wins if he makes it. I could potentially battle him out and get Ashley and Darian, and possibly Brian, if any of them have forgiven me, but that’s three maybes against his three sure things. He’s got a good story of not even starting in this game and working his way in twice. He’s been strong, he’s been social, he’s done an arguably better job than I have in that respect. And he only needs to convince Steffen and Andrew of that. He deserves to win. And I think he knows he has me if we go together so he wants to play it out, because going against someone like Steffen who played a completely different game is going to be scarier to him than someone who’s played similarly but on a more limited scale.

He just messaged me about how he had a revelation. Of why everyone’s just been letting us go through the game together. He says it’s because they’re waiting for us to turn on each other. They don’t want to deal with the fallout of coming for one and having to leave the other, so they’re waiting until we pull the trigger and start the war that they think is inevitable. Because they all think we can’t want to go to the end with each other. And they’re half right. Jordan still might turn on me but I think he’s genuinely not that afraid of fighting me in the finals. It’s not inevitable to him because he could want to go to the end with me. But I don’t want to go with him. Not in this scenario, not with this jury.

It can’t be this week, Andrew should go now. It’s too soon to make the move because I lose the strong connection to Nic and then there’s nothing stopping Steffen/Andrew/Nic from teaming up to take us down. Luke and I would still have the idol on our side but one of us would NEED to win immunity or guess correctly on the idol (only a 50/50 guess but still). But letting him stay runs the risk of him winning his third immunity, or even his third and fourth immunity, and walking to the end anyway. He’s vulnerable now, in a way that I don’t know if he ever will be again. And passing up on that chance is scary, but for the rest of the layout of the game, it has to happen, because the only other number I’m confident with is Luke, and I’m not going into F5 with only a duo.

So the answer is yes. We do flip on Jordan. Not tonight, but hopefully soon. And hopefully it doesn’t have far-reaching consequences. But yes.

hey confessionals......... long time no see....

so if this vote goes as planned i really did that i think jordans going home and tbh not to sound overconfident but its mostly from me

soooooooooo ill add that to my checklist of things i did

Love how Jordan has played off he's been saving me this whole time and trying to work with me and keep me in the loop like. Lmao I haven't believed that shit for a second. He's strong armed me going for the longest time and he's getting what he wants tonight so. Rip me. Out of two storybook games two days in a row. Honestly, who lets Jordan Pines get his way?

While I like to think of myself as an ok player, Ive spent the majority of this game screaming at the top of my lungs, first of all instant tribal is insane so the best thing to do is at least make sure that my ass isn’t grass, so I tried spending my time trying to get Darian out, but Jordan and Darian went to work targeting Andrew, thank god Andrew canceled every vote, thanks to the magical dragon egg that came out his ass. So the revote comes around, Darian is after Luke and we’re like, PERFECT, but in the process of that night, Nic tells me that Jordan was targeting me, yeah thats great, wish I could fully care at this point, but seeing as I entered a truce with him, I’d hope he would keep promises this time before turning on me. Now I’m done, you turn on me and thats your last mistake, now I’m out for blood, but I just got to push the right buttons now, so I got Andrew paranoid and I sent him on his way to talk to Nic, who magically “came up” with an idea to target Jordan, but we need Luke, and I’m here trying to make sure everyone is sane, and it turns that Jordan is after Andrew again, and it turns out Im lying to Drew again, but leaving him out of the loop may need to happen since he and Jordan are close, so we’ll see what happens, but I need betrayers gone, and if I need to betray in order to be in a favorable position, maybe thats not that bad.

bye guys......i cant believe im getting either rocked out or getting 5th place

luke was supposed to vote jordan but i guess he wants that 2nd place... cant blame him i guess cuz i wanted it too

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

"When I asked Andrew what happened and how he got it to me you know what he said I couldn't betray Steffen and Nic was Nic so it wasn't like it was hard They don't want to allign with you They want to use you this round" - Jordan to me

Jordan really knows how to play me!! it's thru pathos. What do i dooooo............................... YOU KNOW WHat steffen probbly knew about Andrew's advantage and voted Andrew because he knew andrew wasnt going home. Do Steffen and Andrew wanna make their final 2 any more obvious? We can name the chat topic HOUSE BOHN and he and andrew can be the admins cuz at this point.............why not anyway today has been a rough day.

also speaking about obvious alliances let's call out lucas/drew/jordan perhaps

Guess whos back to square one? me. I have no close allies I just ruined all of them so xoxoxoxoxox............ Also all my confessionals have been so ugly and cringey its like looking back at your social media from 2011 except its a paragraph you wrote about an ORG a week ago

I'm really bored so I'll stop acting messy and compare everyone in this game to Abi gifs

Luke-

Steffen-

Andrew-

Drew-

Jordan-

Me:

After everything that Drew and I have done and planned in this game it could all be coming down to me potentially having to draw a rock. I can't believe that I could be WILLINGLY drawing a rock for JORDAN PINES (that's an episode title if I ever did see one tbh!).The same Jordan Pines that sent me to the wall way back when...like HOW does this happen..I'm shook. In the event that I do need to draw a rock and I do go home then I gave my idol to Drew so he's guarantee to make the final 4 because I really want him to win this game if he can't. In the event that I don't need to pull a rock and I stay then either Drew or I need to win next immunity so the idol can be played on the vulnerable person and we can make final 4. At that point it doesn't matter that our close bond would be exposed because the most that could happen at that point is a tiebreaker challenge which we could fight to win. An ideal scenario would be if it were final 2 and it was #Drewcas sat there but a final 3 with somebody like Nic or Steffen that haven't really done anything is idea so that one of us can win this game.

UMMMMMMMMMMM STEFFEN THINKS LUKE IS SO FAR UP JORDAN'S ASS THAT EVERYTHING IS OVER FOR HIM NOW I CAN'T EVEN FUNCTION

I repeat, up ******JORDAN'S****** ASS

Me and Luke: have been best friends since I showed up on Lannister and he complained that he had no one to work with there and I was like "Fuck, me too!" Me and Luke: talk out every move of the game together Me and Luke: pass idols back and forth for safekeeping like it's a damn game of monkey-in-the-middle (and y'all really are the monkeys) Me and Luke: call each other almost every night for hours until the sun rises in England Me @ everyone every vote: "Let me talk to Luke, I should be able to get him to vote with me." Me @ anyone who asks: "Oh my god, I love Luke, he's literally the best." Me @ Darian: "Bye I'm not voting for Luke, that kid is so important to me." Everyone else: "zOMG I'M SO CONFUSED WHO IS LUKE WITH, IT MUST BE JORDAN, THIS MAKES NO SENSE, WHY WOULD HE DO THIS, THE WORLD IS ENDING, JORDAN PINES HAS HIS PUPPET!!!!!!!!!!" Me and Luke:

Like BYEEEEEE the reason you didn't fight harder with me to get me to vote out Jordan is because you thought you already had majority without me, like I heard all about it, every step of the way. And now you're mad at me because I signed your death warrant??? I quite literally cried for this vote, don't put this part on me too, especially when you think you're in this shitstorm because you're reading the entire game incorrectly. Nic was the one Jordan thought he had and he lost that person, Jordan has no one now because after this vote, he doesn't have me, which means he doesn't have Luke. But I'm not gonna be the one to tell you that. Or tell Jordan that. Or anyone. Because somehow Luke and I have played this game lock-step since fucking Boat-O-Cross and no one took the time to notice.

I don't think Steffen is actually going to take it to rocks. If Jordan was pulling one too then he might because that's the person he's really afraid of. But I don't think he'll risk a 1/3 chance of leaving himself to get a 1/3 chance of eliminating the person who Steffen thinks is Jordan's puppet, who in his eyes has already done his job of protecting Jordan when he was vulnerable. So after ALLLLLLL the conflict of the past 18 hours, I should be getting what I want out of this tribal. The only thing that fucks me up now is if this actually goes to rocks and Luke goes home. But even then, I have his idol right now, so like....... one way or another, I'm making it to F4. Hopefully that's with Luke, Nic, and Steffen, which looks nothing like the final five I had planned so many cycles ago, but this is working out even better. If I can get rid of Jordan and make it to the end without him being too upset with me, I could very conceivably get Ben, Lily, Ashley, Darian, and Jordan to vote for me to win. Hell, Brian might too, and who knows what Andrew will do, or the other person to leave in that ideal scenario. But like I don't feel like I've burned any juror bridges. There are still two rounds left to go and a lot of shit can go down, like Jordan winning out, Luke and I guessing wrong on the idol and not making final four together, people in jury being more bitter than I'm anticipating or seeing someone differently than I'm seeing them and rewarding their game over mine, like I've seen it all before. But I feel good about this. The rest of this season? It's doable.

Steffen is going off at me for not telling him I was voting Andrew and I'm SCREAMING. Just because he's only just decided to wake up and start playing doesn't mean the rest of us have. We've actually been playing whereas he's just been like "oh well gosh golly I sure do hope the vote isn't against little old me!" And then doing nothing about it like....the gag is you actually have to PLAY to succeed

Drew and Luke can choke

Luke is a patronizing asshole and I’d literally put my hand in a blender than speak to him again

[12/10/16, 8:19:10 AM] Lucas: heY STEfFen [12/10/16, 10:39:50 AM] Steffen Bøhn: whats up [12/10/16, 10:40:46 AM] Lucas: oh nm :) you? [12/10/16, 10:41:05 AM] Steffen Bøhn: well you know got lied to so thats fun [12/10/16, 10:42:42 AM] Lucas: always fun [12/10/16, 10:43:21 AM] Steffen Bøhn: so like I was hoping you would try to explain why you were playing along with this “plan” the entire time when you could’ve just told me that you weren’t interested, I would’ve completely been ok with it, its better than this [12/10/16, 10:44:17 AM] Lucas: i mean, that's survivor. you have to play the game and you have to get information and play your cards right. it wouldn't be survivor if everybody just told the truth the entire time [12/10/16, 10:45:38 AM] Steffen Bøhn: Im sorry that came off as just patronizing if I’m being honest, like I want to hear this from your perspective cause I’m not seeing it now and I’d like to [12/10/16, 10:48:13 AM] Lucas: If I'd just been like "oh well I don't wanna vote Jordan out I'm voting Andrew out" you know damn well that you would have run straight to Nic and Andrew and been like "oh my god Luke isn't voting with us what are we going to do" and then have me be a potential target? It would have been stupid of me to have shown my cards to you at that point. Believe it or not I have been playing this game

again rather would jump onto a bed of nails than continue this conversation

#youwinoryoudie

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