#which is a shame cuz I LOVE this chapter

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Four

Summary: After last night you don't know where you stand but tensions are still high and you don't know what you really want. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 5.6K~ Warnings: Smuuuuttt, Explicit Language and a crap ton of pet names (I'm sorry okay I love pet names lmao) Same warning as before cuz ya'll wanted more smut haha. Horribly edited too so have mercy on me y'all I just wanted to get it out. a/n: Aw shit here we go again 🤣 Anyways ya'll asked and I delivered lmao so another smut chapter but next one is gonna be mainly plot alight 😂 gotta save some more smut for later 🫢 Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜

Waking up the next morning I feel incredibly disoriented. 'Where am I? How did I get here? Why am I naked?' and at that last question I feel all the memories of last night rushing back to me.

Echos of the pet names and praises and the ghost of his fingers all along my body make every cell in my body buzz with need for more. I've never done something like that, something so...scandalous and with and man almost twice my age at that.

I thought that if I ever did something like this before I got married I would've felt shameful but I feel confident...wanted by someone who respects me for who I am and wanted nothing in return. It felt different that I thought it would've, having him hover over me, meeting me with his heated gaze. I wanted him closer. I wanted him to crawl under my skin and give me everything.

It's selfish to say I wanted more because he owes me nothing, he's given me so much and what have I given him in return? Nothing...

He says I've given him plenty but I still feel unworthy of his kindness. I have to do something to show him my thanks, to show him that I'm grateful for everything he's given me. I just don't know where to start.

~~~~~

Getting up and out of bed after I get my bearings was more difficult than I thought it would be. I felt almost a little sore from what we had done last night and I don't know if I should love or hate the sensation. Should I be mad that it got rough enough to cause this feeling or should I feel excited from still having a sensation left over from the pleasure he had given me?

As I continue to go round and round in my head with more useless doubts that run through my head I'm suddenly met with a light knock on the door.

"Um, just a second" I panic, looking around for something to cover up and notice the silk robe that had been placed on the bed and throw it on without a second thought before telling him to come in.

He opens the door and takes in my form for a second, biting his lip at the barely there fabric covering everything he saw last night. "Good morning" he husks out, his voice sending a shockwave between my legs making me cross them unconsciously, which garners a slight upturn at the corner of his mouth.

"Good morning" I squeak out, exposing my flustered state right away, cursing myself internally. "How'd you sleep?" he ask, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning up against the door frame, giving me space but somehow making his presence felt throughout the room.

"Amazing" I say, looking down at my feet in embarrassment, being honest but hating myself for it. "Yeah?" he prods, satisfied by my answer but begging to get that confirmation. "Yeah" I reply, nodding but still averting my gaze.

"Lunch is ready if you'd like to come downstairs. I check on you earlier to see if you wanted breakfast but you were still sleeping like a baby" he teases and if his voice alone didn't make me drop to the floor then that pet name at the end surely did.

"You alright?" he chuckles and I clear my throat before responding, knowing my voice would be no good if I tried to speak without doing so.

"I'm great, perfectly fine" I answer, glancing up at him before adjusting my robe and closing it around me even more. "I'll be waiting downstairs then. You can take your time getting dressed but you're also more than welcome to wear that all day" he taunts, pushing off the door frame and turning to leave after looking me up and down once more.

"I'll be down in a second" I call after him and wait for him to get downstairs before following the path he had just been on and running into my room, quickly but quietly shutting it behind me.

Leaning my head against the door I try to collect my thoughts and stop my racing heart that bound to explode at the next Baby, Bunny or Darling that's bound to come out of his mouth. 'It's just Jungkook. He's been nothing but nice to me and he seems like a really great guy.

We just need to talk and figure things out before something like that happens again' I coach myself and turn to face my room where I'm greeted with a freshly made bed and a single flower in a small vase.

'I can never catch a break with this man' I smile, shaking my head and dropping the robe to change into something more comfortable.

~~~~

"There she is" Jungkook say when he catches sight of me walking down the steps and into the kitchen where he has both of our lunches set out across the island from each other. "This looks so good!" I compliment the food he's made as he motions for me to sit down.

"I'm sorry it took me a while to come down" I apologize, sitting down and taking a drink of water before piercing a fork though the strawberry he has in a bowl full of fruit for us to share. "It's alright, I don't mind waiting for you. Seems like I tired you out last night so I'm glad you got some sleep" he say, smiling over the lip of his glass, making me choke on the next strawberry I had just placed in my mouth.

"You okay Darling?" he asks, handing me a napkin, with that last word aiding to my death by asphyxiation along with the strawberry lodged in my throat. "I'm fine" I choke out after a few more coughs and a drink of water.

"You seem rather jumpy today. Is something wrong?" he asks, tilting his head a bit and attentively waiting for my answer. "I'm fine, I think I'm still trying to wake up" I say, faking a yawn at the end to hopefully legitimize my claim. "Fair enough" he says, taking a bite of his food and grabbing his phone when it starts ringing.

"You can take that if you want" I say, taking a drink of water and glancing down at his phone before making eye contact with him. "No it's alright, I can take care of it later" he brushes off, silencing the call and taking a drink of water.

"So do you have any plans for the day?" he questions, looking at me as if I'm the most fascinating thing on earth. "Well, um, no not really. Do you?" I echo and when he goes to open his mouth to respond he's cut off by his phone ringing, not doubt from the same number again.

"Just take it. I'll be here when you get back I promise" I tease and he clears his throat, unbeknownst to me have flashbacks of when I asked him to take my virginity.

"It's for work, I'll be back soon" he says and I nod my head in response and close my eyes when he comes over to give me a kiss on the forehead like he's done time and time again but when I look up at him afterwards I see he hasn't made moves to leave.

His phone stopped ringing at some point which leave us with a lingering silence with so many words unsaid ultimately cut off by another incoming call. "I'm sorry" he whispers, his eyes glancing down at my lips before he turns around to head to his office answering with a curt 'What?' to whoever is on the other end of that call.

'I would hate to be that guy' I smile to myself, the vision of seeing him get mad comes to mind leaving my pressing my thighs together. 'Why am I so fucking horny these days?' I roll my eyes and continue eating my lunch, laughing at the sound of his frustration but hating that he's going through it at the same time.

~~~~~

It's been about a half an hour and he's still on the phone leaving me scrolling through mine until my brain feels as though it's turned to mush, a part of my brain occupied by him and only him.

As I hear another irritated sigh I decide I'll bring him some pain medication to help with the onset headache I'm sure he's having. It's gotta be a big problem if they're calling him on a Saturday morning.

I open the door slowly and peak my head in, being met with the sight of him with his laptop open and a mess of papers all over his desk. He looks up at me with an apologetic wince but waves me in nonetheless.

I raise my arms up, showing a full glass of water along with a bottle of pills and he mouths a silent 'Thank you' and I nod happily, proud that I made the right decision and place the glass on his desk while I open the pill bottle and drop a couple onto his palm to which he places them in his mouth and immediately chases it with the glass of water.

Watching as his Adam's apple bobs up and down as he gulps down the water has my head dizzy for some reason but I'm not sure why. While I'm trying to come up with an explanation some water spills on his cheek as he swallows the rest.

I feel as though my body has been taken over by an outer being because my reaction was to catch that stray drop of water off his cheek with my thumb and bring it to my mouth.

His eyes dart over to mine, wide in shock and leaving me feeling as though I'd done something wrong. My next move being to hightail it out of here but he stops me with a firm grasp on my hip, making me lean up against his desk next to him.

I make an effort to slip out of his hold but he gives me a warning glance, wordlessly telling me to behave and I do just that, shutting my mouth and watching as he works. He keeps a hand on my waist, making sure I'll stay, his thumb gently rubbing circles on my hip mindlessly where my shirt had risen up in my try to escape.

I do my best to keep my composure but the visions of last night flashing though my head makes it hard to control myself from rubbing my thighs together and I ultimately lose the battle.

Forgetting that he still has a hold on me earns me a knowing glance when he notices my actions, his gaze gradually getting more and more heated.

I lean back in an effort to get comfortable while I wait, my palms helping me balance on his desk behind me, leaving my chest sticking out a bit. I earn a tight squeeze on my waist as a warning to be patient and to stop squirming, which at the moment is very hard to accomplish with him looking so fucking sexy talking business with the man on the other line.

Was I relieved that it was a man calling him three times in a row on a Saturday afternoon? Yes, yes I was. It's none of my business though, nor do I have any grounds to have an opinion on it but his hand sliding up my waist says otherwise.

"Yes. Okay, okay alright was that everything? Okay well we'll pick this up on Monday morning. Thanks alright you have a good weekend too. Okay bye" he says, looking at me the whole time he finishes up his call, squeezing my waist now, making my breathing pick up and I know I'm in trouble when he hangs up the phone.

"You're a little minx you know that?" he says, turning his chair to face me and takes his hand off my waist only to slide it down my arms and hold my hand, placing kisses on my knuckles. "What do you mean?" I question, already breathless from the look of him sitting back in his chair, his legs spread wide and his gaze getting darker by the moment.

"You know what I mean. You came in here acting all innocent and helpful and next thing I know it you're licking water off my cheek? Seems pretty naughty Bunny. Don't you think?" he says while kissing the tips of my fingers, making sparks fly through my arms and straight to my head, keeping my gaze locked on his.

"I didn't lick it off your cheek" I say quietly but he lets out a dry chuckle in response. "Technicalities will get you nowhere sweetheart. Just admit that you wanted my attention, you were too impatient and couldn't even wait an hour for me to come back to you. It's okay, I won't laugh" he says, pulling on my hand and making me stumble onto his lap, my legs hanging over one of them.

"I- I just wanted to hel-" "I'm sure you did Darling and you were so thoughtful bringing me that medicine but I know you wanted something else huh?" he says while brushing away the hair that had fallen on my face when he pulled me down.

I shake my head but he cocks a brow at me, wordlessly telling me to tell him the truth so I in turn nod my head, admitting that deep down I did want his attention again.

"Now what was it that my Princess wanted? Did she just want attention or did she want to be touched again? Wanted me to take care of her again?" he taunts, taking note of all the times he's seen me rub my thighs together or get that breathless look on my face. I nod my head but he shakes his leaving me confused.

"If my Bunny wants something she's gotta use her words. Can you do that for me Darling? Can you use that pretty mouth of yours and tell me you want Daddy to touch you again?" he says, testing out a new name to call himself that's got me squirming again.

"Nuh uh none of that Darling, if you want something you've gotta ask for it. Now be a good girl and tell me what you want" he says, holding my hips in place, unbeknownst to me preventing me from rubbing my ass against him, still wanting to hold himself back.

His only priority and desire is to make me feel good and he wouldn't have it any other way. He knows I'm inexperienced and doesn't want to scare me away. He wants to take his time with me. 

"I want you to..." I start, trailing off from embarrassment, not being used to saying stuff like this let alone to someone as intoxicating as him.

"What was that Bunny? Didn't catch that" he presses, clearly enjoying the internal struggle that's shown all over my face. If he didn't know I had a shit poker face then he sure as hell knows now. No matter how you slice it he'll always be able to read me like a book.

"I want you to touch me" I whisper and he leans in as if he couldn't hear me but my lips at this point are inches from his, the slightest movement connecting mine with his.

"Lie back for me yeah?" he asks, his lips ghosting against mine before grabbing my hip and guiding me to sit on his desk before pushing all of his papers and laptop to the side dramatically making me laugh at the motion until I notice his laptop falling to the floor. His eyes follow mine and notice said device and simply shrugs.

"I can buy another one" he mumbles against my lips before connecting them in a short lived kiss as he guides me down, my back against his desk while he hovers over me. "You wanna try something else?" he says, watching my expression change from one of nervous excitement to intrigue.

"You trust me?" he questions, watching my face for any hesitation but finds none. "Yes" I say, nodding my head and he smiles before placing a kiss on my lips. "Close your eyes for me yeah? I promise I won't put it in. Well, not yet" he says and my eyes bug out at his words, my legs that are wrapped around his waist pull him even closer in an effort to close my legs.

"You like that? You like the idea of me claiming you as mine? Me being your first, your first everything" he says, leaning down and placing kisses on my neck, his warm breath against my sensitive skin driving me insane. I shudder at the feeling and he chuckles before placing a kiss under my ear, garnering another shudder in response.

"Answer me Bunny. You want me to be your first everything? Want me to learn and teach you everything you need to know about your body and what brings you pleasure?" he says while tracing his right hand along my torso, ghosting his fingertips along my waistband.

"Yes. Yes, I want you. Please just take it, take everything" I mumble and he tsks at me, again leaving me confused. "I'm not just gonna take everything. I'm giving you as much as I'm taking love. If you're letting me have you then you have me in return. Never forget that" he says and I nod my head. "I won't forget" I utter and he smiles in response before telling me to close my eyes again.

"Can I take these off bunny?" he asks in regards to my leggings and I mumble out a quick 'yes' trying to hold the whimpers at bay from the thought of me letting him have complete control over me. I know I have the power to stop everything but I wouldn't want to. Not with him.

As he slides everything off me he curses at the sight of me. "Fuck you're dripping" he rasps and I try to close my legs in response, now truly feeling that sense of vulnerability "You've gotta stay nice and still for me Darling. Can you do that?" he asks and I respond with a whimper which satisfies him, having mercy on me this time.

He drags a finger along my folds just as he had done before, gathering up my arousal before circling around my bud, gaining him a soft moan in response. "Be loud for me yeah? Wanna hear you moan my name" he prompts, wanting to hear what his name sounds like when it passes through my lips filled with ecstasy.

He doesn't wait for a response and just continues to play with me just as he did last night but as I feel myself getting closer he pulls away leaving me groaning from the feeling of getting that high again being taken away.

"Ready for something new princess?" he asks, caressing one of my thighs and placing a kiss on the inside of it. "W-wait!" I flinch nervously, not knowing how to feel about this. I've heard about it before but I never knew if it would be something that I'd like.

"You want me to stop?" he ask, pulling away a bit and letting me take control. "I'm scared, I-i I don't know what it'll feel like. I'm not sure if I'll like it" I admit, feeling as though I was about to cum just from the thought of him doing that to me.

"I can stop if you'd like, it's up to you princess. I wanna make you feel good and this is something I think you'll love. I know it's something I'd love to do to you if you'll let me" he says, coaxing me into it since he knows I'm just nervous, placing a few more kisses on my skin, this time switching to the other thigh.

I take a few breaths and think about it but decide to trust him, just as he asked me to. 

"I want you to do it" I let out, my cheeks burning up at the thought of what I'm asking for. "You want Daddy to eat you out?" he says smiling, loving the fact that I've still kept my eyes closed. I start to squirm, feeling his warm breath traveling further up my thigh, the anticipation driving me crazy. 

"P-please" I choke out, tears prickling my eyes as the intensity of the moment increases. "Patience Princess. Remember what I said about being loud?" he asks, his breath fanning directly over my core, making me lose all sense of feeling except for what he's barely doing to me. He hasn't even touched me and I'm about to cum. 

He leans in and gives a soft kiss to my clit, my legs spread wide and giving him full access to me. I take in a sharp breath at the sensation, my muscles locking up only for a moment but nonetheless catching his attention. 

"You want me to keep going?" he whispers into me, his nose nudging my clit, making me clench around nothing and he notices right away, utterly exposed to him. I moan out a ‘yes’ and he smiles, placing a kiss on my upper thigh before going back in, slowly making out with my clit, his tongue tracing circles around it before traveling down to my hole that's begging to be full. 

He licks inside me and watches my reaction, my brows drawn together and my lips parted, uttering curses when I feel him slip his tongue in further, the sensation driving me insane. My back arches off the table when he presses his face against me. His nose rubbing against my clit while his lip and tongue make out with my entrance. 

If I were to open my eyes now I bet all I could see was the world spinning around me, the feeling of being drunk on him being my drug of choice and I don't think I'll ever be able to live without it.

"Fuck Jungkook" I moan out, this being the first time I get close to screaming his name and he growls into me before going back to playing with my clit, making me do it again. "You sound so sweet Bunny, but you taste even sweeter" he groans, watching as my chest rises and falls in the baggy shirt I've still got on. 

"Do me a favor love and lift up your shirt, that's it. Wanna watch you play with your tits" he rasps out. Doing just as he asks I moan at the image of him watching me touch myself again, incredibly turned on by the though of it alone. 

"There you go, you're doing so good for me. Look so pretty laying here and letting me play with you in my office. Fuck you're driving me crazy" he praises making me whimper in response. 

"You like that? You like it when Daddy praises you? Like it when he tells you you're being so perfect for him? Pretty just wants to be worshiped doesn't she?" I let out a moan at the thought of him taking time and worshiping anything and everything about me. I try to close my legs again on impulse but he pries them open, growling at the thought of me hiding from him. 

"I'm not done with you" he says, biting the inside of my thigh leaving me arching my back off the desk again, squeezing my breasts and making him even hungrier for me if even possible. 

"Does my baby like pain? Does she want me to leave marks all over her as a reminder? A reminder of how you let me have my way with you while you were spread out for me on my desk. I'm not gonna be able to focus next time I have to work in here. Always gonna remember how sweet you taste and how adorable you sound"  he says, licking the area he just bit before sucking a mark into the same spot.

I groan at the feeling, the slight sting from the bruise making me want to ask him for more. To mark me everywhere like he said, always leaving a reminder. 

I scream at the feeling of him putting his mouth on me again, kissing, sucking, licking into me without mercy, catching me off guard by the intensity. I let out an incoherent string of curses, hoping he knows I'm begging for more and he moans against me, the vibrations sending shockwaves throughout my body. 

"Don't stop, please please don't stop" I scream, the first decipherable words I've uttered in a while. On the cusps of ecstasy he growls into me when he sees me throw my hand over my mouth, embarrasses by how loud I'm getting. "Louder" he growls as a warning, not a request and so I do. 

I get louder and louder, screaming his name with curses being the only other words in my vocabulary. I feel as his movements get more intense, now using his fingers as well and moments later a wave of pleasure is crashing down, making me let out any and every sound I could possibly make, my voice getting softer and softer and I start to come down. 

Just when I feel like he's gonna stop he doesn't, he picks up the pace again which makes me whine in overstimulation, trying to wiggle away from him. 

"You can give me one more can't you?" he asks, pulling back only to lick a stripe into me, taking time to suck my sensitive bud into his mouth. "N-no no I can't" I say, shaking my head and trying to push him off and he pulls back and chooses to lean over me. 

"Just one more Bunny. I know you can" he encourages. Although I'm reluctantly saying no we both know I want to experience it, wanna experience coming undone one right after the other. 

He comes down and kisses me, making me taste myself on his lips and I can't get enough of him, I want to be good for him, I want him. I whine when he delicately runs his fingers over me again "You're so swollen but I'm sure you can handle it, can't you Darling?" he taunts. 

He pulls away from my lips and trails his down, kissing and sucking marks all over my chest giving me a bit more time to recover before deciding. "Yes, fuck yes" I moan when he greedily sucks one of my nipples into his mouth. My back arches again when he moans around it, making me desperately want to cum again, wanting it as much as he does now. 

"Want you to watch me this time. Can you do that?" he ask, giving me one last kiss on the lips before sliding his tongue down my torso, stopping to bite my hip, breaking me out of the daze I'd been left in, asking me to answer.

I nod my head and he luckily takes that as a response, going easy on me since I'm still not fully there after what he'd done to me. What he's still doing to me...

~~~

After he makes me cum again I lose all sense of reality and I can barely tell up from down. He leaves the room only for a moment to get a warm towel to clean me up and I take that time to catch my breath, staring at the celling and trying to wrap my head around what just happened. 

I jump at the feeling of him cleaning me up gently and he apologizes, going a little slower with a lighter touch, doing just enough before helping me sit up. "You with me?" he asks, steadying me as I still sit on his desk, swaying back and forth. 

I turn my eyes to him and blink sleepily, smiling and taking in his handsome features and notice how red and swollen his lips have gotten. 

"There she is" he coos, brushing my hair back and cupping my face, looking at me as if I was incredibly precious to him. Little do I know that that's exactly what I am to him. 

That's a conversation for another time though. For now he'll just enjoy the dazed and freshly fucked look I give him, laughing at how adorable I look. 

"You wanna bath?" he asks and I nod, making the corner of his lips turn up before he scoops me up. I cuddle into him and link my arms around his neck, enjoying the slight bouncing sensation I feel with every step he takes. 

After he ascends the steps with ease I watch as we pass by my bedroom door and get confused as to why he's not taking me to bathe in there. I frown at him and he chuckles shaking his head and walking the both of us into his room.

"My bathtub is bigger and more comfortable" he explains and I nod, tightening my hold on him for only a moment before he guides me to sit on the edge of the tub. 

"You want a bubble bath?" he asks, turning to look through his cabinet and pulls out two bottles, one that smell of lavender and the other of eucalyptus. I point at the lavender and he smiles, nodding his head and putting the other one back before walking over to turn the faucet on, adjusting it until it's just the right temperature. 

"Do you take bubble baths Mr. Jeon?" I tease, earning a playful glare that breaks into a smirk moments later. "Who says grown men can't tale bubble baths? And it's Daddy to you" he says booping me on the nose, giving me butterflies. 

"You like being called Daddy huh?" I tease again and he crouches down in front of me, putting us at eye level. "I dunno, sounded like you liked it back there too" he says, smirking when he sees me avert my eyes, this time placing a kiss on my nose before straightening up. 

"Arms up" he orders and I lift them up so he can take off the last piece of clothing I've got left. "Who's shirt is this?" he asks, taking note of the oversize fit. "It's mine" I say truthfully, too quick for his liking though, making him suspicious of me. "Uh huh" he says slowly before throwing it in the corner of the bathroom. 

With a look like that even I can tell that I won't be getting that back anytime soon. It really is my shirt though...

After he pours in the bubbles and I'm satisfied by their bubbliness (which he reminds me is not a real word) I get in and moan at the feeling of the warmth enveloping me. My muscles losing all of their tension as I breathe in the calming scent of lavender surrounding me.

"You enjoying yourself?" he chuckles, leaning up against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest just as he had done this morning and I gulp at the sight. "Yeah, I needed this" I say, sinking further into it and being swallowed whole by the bubbles. "Well just call me if you need me" he says but before I can stop myself I quickly tell him 'No'.

He tilts his head to the side and smiles softly, taking in the precious sight of me surrounded by bubbles with almost a panicked look on my face, showing my honesty in wanting him to stay. "Can you sit with me maybe?" I ask, looking down and playing with the bubbles, shy that I'm begging for even more of his attention. 

"Sure Darling" he says, grabbing a stool that was tucked in a corner and placing it right next to the tub so he can stay with me. 

After a few moments of comfortable silence I break it with the one question that's been on my mind since I felt the air shift between us. 

"Can I ask you a question?" I say, looking up at him, noticing that he's started to play around with the bubbles that rest high above the surface. "No" he answers, pushing a dampened strand of hair off my face. 

"What?" I freeze, surprised at his answer. "I know what you're gonna ask so no. You can't, not yet. Let's get you cleaned up and well rested before we go there, alright?" he asks giving me a sad smile, so many words left unsaid behind those eyes, begging to be released.

I wait for a moment, studying him and notice that he looks almost...vulnerable. Something I had never seen from him before so I decide to just nod my head, returning the same smile before leaning back against the tub and sinking in a bit further, the water now just below my nose. 

"Aye! Don't you go drowning on me in there" he chuckles and my eyes smile, glad my efforts of lightening the mood had worked. 

Taking it a step further I choose violence and splash him, making the bottom of his shirt get wet. He gasps at the action and puts his hand over his chest "I make you a nice bath and this is how you repay me? The audacity!" he says dramatically before giving me a splash in return leaving me gasping just as he had done.  

After exchanging a few more splashes and laughs we call it a truce and we sit there talking and joking around until the water goes cold, going back to that sense of normalcy that I was so scared that we might've lost... 

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[acourtofquestions]

Me to Cairn who my audiobook says like “Karen” because Chapter 4 has already killed a piece of me

Me starting KoA:

[lovers-tucked-into-a-quiet-cafe]

141 & Rabbit Headcanons [IKYLHT]

Series Masterlist | Prev: Personnel Files | Next: Chapter One

Please Note: This is my attempt at a spoiler-free introduction to the characters and their dynamics. This is meant to be read before the first chapter, and thus must be vague at points. THIS DOES CONTAIN SOME MW3 SPOILERS

-

141 + Rabbit Dynamics:

Soap:

Rabbit's ride or die right here, twin flame type of energy

First person she actually enjoyed the company of at the UK base while on assignment alongside the rest of the Demon Dogs

Subsequently the first to worm his way into her heart- sinks his hooks into her side and refuses to leave (not to worry, you'd have to pry her off of him, anyways)

Runs into her coming out of the mess hall, sees 'Highwater' stitched into her uniform and realizes this was the soldier Sparks had told him about

Oh yeah, that month long prank war with Shane 'Shitbag' Sparks (yes, she'd come up with that one herself) that the rest of the Demon Dogs decided to join in on? He made sure to tell Soap, because why not recruit the demolitions expert in his task of torturing his sister-in-arms?

Soap immediately decides on implementing her rename. 'Oh, you already have a callsign that half the base refers to you by? One that acknowledges your military expertise and the nine grueling years you've dedicated to the service? That's weird, cuz your name is Rabbit now and that's that' type mentality

She knew the reference immediately, hands twitching with the urge to unsheathe her spare knife because there was only one person that'd broadcast the story

Goddammit, Sparks, I will shiv you

"Excuse me? Where'd you hear that from, Sergeant?"

"A good friend never tells. I could always think of calling you somethin' worse?"

"Call me something worse and I'll have you written up for disrespecting a superior officer"

"Understood, Rabbit" said with a fucking grin

Despite being the one to rename her, literally never uses her callsign once he declares them best friends

Calls her Bunny or Bun, which surprisingly did help his efforts in gaining her [platonic] love and affection

Spent damn near every waking moment with her, which unsurprisingly did help his efforts in gaining her [romantic] love and affection

Sparring? Let me wrap your hands

Going out? Here, I'll zip your coat

Smoking? C'mon Bun, tell me what's bothering you, I can help

It was the little, everyday acts of love kindness from Soap that had her hooked on the feeling of being in his presence

So you can imagine how devastating it'd felt for the both of them when the special unit had been called back to the states

Even with promises to call and text and facetime, the feeling of his heart sinking to his stomach made him realize there were feelings he harbored towards Rabbit that went beyond the typical bond between soldiers

But orders are orders, and he'd been sure to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek before ushering her up the ramp and onto the heli waiting to rip her away from him

Not that either admitted it to the other at the time, but they'd both been teased to no end about their 'special friendship' by the rest of their units, cheeks warming yet refusing to deny the accusations

Like true friends, though, they did kept their promise

If it wasn't hours of texting it was calls, only skipping days when on mission but always sure to inform the other of their departure beforehand

It was hard most days. Seeing the other come back from days or even weeks of no-contact with new cuts and bruises

It was especially hard, though, after Verdansk

Soap had beaten himself up pretty hard after the whole ordeal with Makarov- the guilt of not being able to save those people in the airport, the shame of losing his cool in front of his superiors, the regret of not just avenging those people by shooting the man and facing the consequences later- he'd talked through his entire range of emotions with her despite the distance

Then, because the universe always yearned for cruelty, she got the assignment

Covert operation

Ciudad Victoria

Two days, wheels up at 0400

Now her home base had been Pendleton since basic, and if there's one thing the San Diego base requires, it's soldiers willing to cross the border and sweat their asses off for hours on end scouting some target for shit pay and no reward

She'd done it before, six months turned into twelve turned into eighteen until eventually she'd been volunteering to go, years under her belt and quickly moving up the ranks, Mexico now a second home in her mind. Anything to get away from that place

But Victoria? That was a city she'd only seen on mission reports, only heard of by way of interrogation

But orders are orders, and he'd been sure to tell her he'd miss her before ushering her to dump her phone in her locker and get onto the heli waiting to rip her away from him again

Soap didn't get a call for quite a while after that

His first contact, actually, hadn't even been Rabbit

It was Sparks

Locker pried open with permission from Griggs (not that he waited even a second to be granted it), he'd charged her phone and called the one person he thought deserved to know

"MacTavish? It's Sparks. Highwater, she's... she's MIA. Entire task force was found slaughtered. An ambush, I think. We don't- we're not entirely sure yet. Griggs can't get a straight answer. The whole things fucked, we can't- the area's got it's own governing body. They haven't... they've searched but they haven't found a body. We're not calling it until they do. I'm sorry, kid."

Two months

Two months Soap cried until his lungs spasmed

Two months Soap cried until his head ached and eyes burned

Two months Soap cried to his mother about the woman he loved

Two months until he got the call that damn near restarted his heart

"Soap? Soap, we found her. We have her, she's being taken to medical. We found her, kid."

Johnny's not sure he remembers a time he'd cried harder. He'd like to say it was when Sparks had first called him, but even then, he held onto some hope she'd made it out 'like you always do'

That'd been their promise to each other, and he vividly recalls telling Price that as he sobbed over the man's shoulder in relief

She'd been put on medical leave, forced to wave goodbye to her family as they flew off to Urzikstan without her

It was at that point- hearing her cry over the phone about how useless she'd felt being left behind, how she'd failed the only family that had ever truly cared about her- that he realized a trip to the states was in dire need

Entered the U.S. friends, exited the U.S. partners

Johnny's a man that focuses on the positives

He doesn't talk about those two months. Not to his therapist, not to his ma, not to Price

He focuses on the fact that his torment is over, he focuses on the woman laying her head on his shoulder and tapping her boot against his on the shaky helicarrier

Because that's all that matters to him. The little moments between missions where they can focus on something other than saving the world for a moment

It's a type of love, a type of dynamic the man had never experienced before

'Intimate' is the best word to describe it

Will 'accidentally' detonate an old grenade taken into the training grounds to 'see if it still worked', just to see the other's eyes light up in a sort of pyromaniac excitement

Will also take up an entire couch quietly lounging, arms wrapped around each other under a shared blanket because 'it's a low energy type of day'

It's all or nothing- completely feral, unhinged 'I'll request the jailcell across from you' behavior or soft, domestic bliss

No words need be exchanged for that energy to shift- just a subtle glance and soft smile, a type of telepathy easily mastered after four years of being together

And Johnny wouldn't have it any other way

Ghost:

Initially doesn't even want to address her by Rabbit

He couldn't take the callsign seriously, especially after realizing this was the woman Soap had been babbling about in Verdansk

He knew more about her personal life than he did her military career, and he'd read her file back to front twice. Well, what hadn't been redacted, anyways

Decides he'll stick to Gun, as requested, but only when necessary. Better than Rabbit, at least

But after Soap's little confession while her comms are down in Las Almas? Now Gun just won't do. Decides to stick with Darling until he's figured out a better one. Knows she won't mind, anyways

Calls her Lovie a small handful of times, blink and you'll miss it, and it's only in a NSFW context ;) soft!dom Ghost supremacy

Settles on Tapeti once the dust settles and he knows he's wormed his way into her heart the same way Soap had

They're close in a way he can't say about anyone else

Does he love his team? Of course

Would he lay his life down for any one of them the second the opportunity presented itself? Also yes

But there's something about shared trauma that bonds the soul

Neither talk about it much

It's honestly easier to use Soap as the go-between on a lot of things

She's already told him, already bared her soul for him to see in that deserted apartment, and Simon's grateful Johnny omits certain heart wrenching details when he runs his hands over her scarred back, runs his hands over the raised tattoos that cover the remnants of Victoria

He doesn't yearn to know the specifics, most days he's not sure he wants to know at all

He'd made peace with his demons a long time ago, had to in order to survive, but he knew it wouldn't be so easy forgiving what'd been done to her

It wasn't hard to infer, anyway

They have a calendar, a pocket sized one with a little magnet attached that hangs on their fridge

It was Ghost's idea, after one of those days when the shakes were debilitating and she couldn't keep her food down

He'd set the container of soup from the deli across their flat on the counter, pulling Soap away from her curled up side and showing him the dollar store purchase

He didn't explain, just scribbled out a few dates and passed the calendar over

So Johnny took the pen and started scratching out days

He didn't explain all of them, only murmured the easy ones like 'her mother's birthday' or 'her comrades death date' or 'Victoria'

There's a deeper understanding there, between the three of them, and if there's one thing Simon can attest to while stomping out the butt of his cigarette onto Grave's false tombstone, it's his appreciation for the man's betrayal in Las Almas that lead him into the couple's outstretched arms

Gaz:

Best boy, here

The baby of the group, a few years younger than Rabbit who shares a birthyear with Soap

Uses that to his advantage

Calls her Officer Hopps on more than one occasion, not afraid to more commonly shorten it down to just 'Hopps'

Always in a playful loving manner, not that it matters when Rabbit's glare quickly follows

Also thinks it's funny to call her 'Gunnery Hopps' when in the presence of other soldiers, tries to play it off as a genuine tongue slip despite his wide grin proving otherwise

Again, uses his baby privilege to his advantage, whipping out the puppy eyes and small kisses that has Rabbit's glare melting into a soft smile

Typically sticks with Love- partially because he's a true Birmingham boy and the term of endearment comes naturally to him- mainly because it keeps her wound around his finger

Starts a fight by betting Price 20 quid he could cut a chunk out of Soap's mohawk? He's running to hide behind her, basking in her warmth and sticking a tongue out at Johnny over her shoulder

Smug as all hell, knows he's been deemed the favorite and is sure to remind the other men of it constantly

He'll tell them it's 'just because she loves me more, mate' but they all know the real reason

It's his calm, level-headed personality and natural ability to lead that endears him to her so easily

She never questions his judgement because what he lacks in years he makes up for in everything else by tenfold

And he looks up to Rabbit immensely- he may not initially know the finer details of her military experience, just general war stories Sparks and the rest of the Demon Dogs had told him in Urzikstan when she'd been out on medical leave, but he does know what being a 0251 MOS entails, knows he'll never come across a better Gunnery Sergeant even if he retires at 80

Aims to become a GySgt after seeing her serve as their unit's operations chief, working with superior officers on training, operations, and tactical advising

Asks a million questions and- though he'd never admit it- keeps a log of their answers in his notes app. He's just organized like that

She noticed anyways, what with his trusting nature and big heart (he gladly passed over his phone passcode within the first week of them being official), and it was actually that notes app list of all the little throw away tidbits about her role on the team that led her to write his letter of recommendation

That’s just the dynamic they have, they bring out the best in each other in every way, even when they don’t think it’s possible given the circumstances

He's only two years younger, and yet he feels so lacking in experience when they're thrown into red-stained chairs with threadbare bags over their heads

"You been tortured before, Gaz?"

"No."

"That's good. Let's keep it that way. Stay quiet and keep your eyes forward."

He remembers blanching at her nonchalant tone, the way she talked as if she'd done this a hundred times before.

She has, he realizes, and he feels a sort of naive embarrassment wash over him when he really thinks about it

Interrogation and Debrief Specialist, he thought, you don't earn that title by just sitting and reading about it

He didn't have much time to sit and process that thought before the men were reentering the dark room

He's unable to fathom how she'd kept her breathing so calm, refrained from letting out a single yell or grunt or sniffle until the men had slammed the metal door on their exit

It was hard for him, returning to base after what had transpired

It didn't sit right with him- the fact that he'd allowed himself to sit there and let the woman he'd been falling in love with be beaten within an inch of her life

But she'd comforted him, face swollen and leg wrapped, knocking her boot into his with a smile

He'd knocked his boot back into hers, and decided from there on out she'd know exactly how much she meant to him

Price:

The only member of the 141 to actually refer to her by her callsign. Captain's professionalism and all that.

Throws it out the window the second he deems necessary- which is quite often- resorts to Sweetheart

He knows more about her than anyone else, Johnny the only exception, and that isn't something he takes lightly

He'd read the reports. The redacted ones. He knew what happened after Victoria, he'd been the one to okay her transfer, to accept doing a favor for the Demon Dogs after their good work in Urzikstan and promising he'd 'keep an eye on her'

He understands the vulnerability in that fact, and is sure to do everything in his power to prove to her he's someone she can trust, even after she's told him time and time again he's done more than enough to prove his loyalty

Fortunately, years of hearing about each other via Soap and the Demon Dogs proved useful once they'd finally met at the top of that wall guarding Alejandro's base, easily falling into a sort of mutual understanding of each other

It helped that he was a natural patriarch, the glue holding the team together, ensuring they worked as a well oiled machine both on and off base

Soap vouched for Price and that was all the convincing Rabbit needed. So when Price vouched for Ghost and Gaz? It felt instinctual to trust the men wholeheartedly

Scary as it was initially, Price just knew. Simple as that, he knew what the team needed and exactly how to go about it, and she trusted that

He was arguably the most experienced in navigating trauma, and that definitely lent a hand to the comfortability of the team

He’s perfected the art of understanding each of the members of the task force and it’s something Rabbit didn’t realize she yearned for until she had it

He’s become the physical embodiment of her safe space in a way she never thought was possible. She breathes easier when he’s in eyesight, the tension drops from her shoulders when he’s near

Despite being one who only rarely accepted physical affection from anyone other than Soap, Rabbit named Price 'Seat of the Year', and that's meant quite literally

Cuddles are mandatory team bonding. He doesn't make the rules (yes he does)

Arguably the most giving partner on the face of the planet

Is happy to lean back in his chair and cut off the blood supply to his legs if it means Rabbit is soothed by the way his hands run over her arms and scratch at her scalp, perched on his lap and quickly drifting off to sleep as he presses light kisses onto the junction between her neck and shoulder

His brain is constantly alerting his body of his need to protect and provide. It'd still happen even if he'd never approved her transfer, that's just the kind of man he is, but he wouldn't have been nearly as emboldened without her there

Gaz yawns in the midst of completing a mission report? He's already tossing the man over his shoulder and forcing him to rest for once

Soap lets out the quietest sigh of pain when that one muscle in his shoulder starts twinging again? He's already pushing the man to sit and rounding the couch to dig his strong hands into the stubborn muscle

Ghost's stomach lets out singular growl? Guess that stack of paperwork can be finished tomorrow, it's now his personal mission to ensure the man has eaten a nutritious meal that checks off every micro and macro nutrient possibly needed to ensure health and prosperity in that beefy body

Perfectly content to love and love and love for absolutely nothing in return besides seeing his team happy and healthy

Unbeknownst to him, he very quickly charms his way into her heart with his thick thighs caring nature, dilf energy warm smiles, and ofc the boonie hat

-

General Character Headcanons:

Rabbit:

-As mentioned in the Personnel Files, Rabbit is a Gunnery Sergeant and a 0251 MOS [Interrogator/Debrief Specialist]

-Gunnery Sergeant is her rank- serving as her unit's operations chief, working with superior officers on training, operations, and tactical advising

-0251 is her job code [MOS]. 0251 specifically means being an Interrogator/Debriefer in the US Marine Corps. This job involves collecting information/intelligence from human sources by means of interrogation, debriefing, and screening. Typical duties are the screening and interrogation of enemy POWs, line crossers, refugees, and other displaced persons, exploiting foreign language documents, and participating in noncombatant evacuation operations

-A common requirement for this job is being at the very least bilingual, and it's canon here that Rabbit speaks Spanish alongside English. With that said, many apologies to those reading this that speak Spanish because I'm using translation websites (yes I disappoint my Mexican grandparents every day)

-Rabbit is a Demon Dog, but was not in Urzikstan due to medical leave. She has direct permission from the US Marine Corps, SAS, and Price to be stationed in the UK base 'on loan' as a Demon Dog since they are part of the Coalition, led by the CIA's best Station Chief Kate Laswell :D

-Again, as shown in the Personnel Files, Rabbit does not have many character descriptors listed. I'm trying my best to make her as inclusive as I possibly can while still flushing out her character. I don't like the self-insert '[h/c] [e/c]' format, so I just avoid it all together

-Rabbit is an only child

-Also it's not really about Rabbit per say but in my story Griggs is a Captain. He leads the Demon Dogs and therefore holds a higher rank that Rabbit. It makes sense to me in this story that he'd be of similar age and rank as Price

Soap:

-I’ve seen a few people say based on his accent Soap is likely from Glasgow but unfortunately I’ve only been to Edinburgh so we’re using our creative liberty here and saying that's where he's from plz and thank u <3

-Johnny is the baby of the family with 3 older sisters. His poor mother was pregnant for damn near four years straight

-He's close with his entire family, but especially his mother and youngest sister

-Also I'm not killing him in this story. I wrote a good portion of it pre-MW3 and that campaign sucked so I'm ignoring it :)

Ghost:

-Simon is from Manchester. Yeah yeah yeah ik there’s a whole thing ab his accent and yada ya but my first London pub-watch rugby game was Leeds vs Wigan, so we’re sticking with canon here

-Wigan is in Greater Manchester so I like the headcanon that Ghost’s father was a ManUnited football fan so teen!Simon said ‘oh fuck that’ and instead chose to take the 45 minute train to go watch rugby in another city

-I'm basing a lot of his character off of both the comics and game, however there is one thing to note. In the comics, 'Sparks' is one of the soldiers that assists in getting Simon's family killed. This is not the same Sparks I refer to in this story. Shane Sparks is a Demon Dog, and I'm writing in his character for specific plot devices. He'll likely be completely OC since I just grabbed his basic profile off the character wiki.

Gaz:

-Haven’t heard any confirmation on where Gaz is from but my love Elliot Knight is from Birmingham so ding ding ding, we have a winner

-Only child, the absolute pride and joy of his parent's life. He's a total mama's boy and it was largely her good morals and outlook on life that steered him in the direction of wanting to better the world

Price:

-Liverpool. Again, I’m not sure if there’s confirmation as to where Price is from but my love ( yes I can have two >:| ) Barry Sloane is from Livahpewl soooooo

-Semi-sad headcanon for Price here. Idk why but I feel a strong pull to the idea that his parents have passed, despite him only being 36 in my story, putting them somewhere in their 60's

-On a happier note, I also like the idea that John is an older brother, so we're going with that

-

<3

[mysticmiav]

I wanna talk about Inej cuz GOD I love her so much. Her intro scene is one that I think goes not talked about enough which I think is a crime against humanity and I WILL be making my case your honour so buckle up.

This concerns scenes from SoC as well as CK, so be warned, a load of spoilers ahead.

So in that first chapter of SoC we are introduced to this absolute badass of a girl. She walks silently, steals secrets and defies gravity. The name they call her? The Wraith. How badass is that? God spared yall (and maybe even me but especially my parents) cuz if I was still doing gymnastics I would've broken my ankle trying to be a fraction of as cool as she is cuz fuck you Newton and fuck your gravity laws.

She is smart and quick witted; the whole scene at the exchange, Kaz counting on her to take care of the second guard, knowing she'll figure it out and manage, and her indeed making it on time.

But no, not only that. This deadly storm of a girl not only holds this guard at knifepoint, saving Kaz's ass from an embarrassing plan gone awry, being shot and possibly even death. She goes on and says, and I quote, "I like it when men beg, but this isn't the time for it."

????? Weird way of asking for my hand in marriage but all the same, yes.

We get to see that deadly, fear-worthy side of her, we see how she's an actual threat people take into account, cue the slippery edges so as to make her climbs harder (fools really, as if some grease and oil would stop her of all things)

But as if that wasn't enough, we also learn of the beliefs she holds dear and her kindness. The way she hesitates about leaving Big Bol alone after everyone else leaves, torn on saving him, getting him help or putting him out of his misery, and ends up sparing him a parting prayer.

She's someone who's been through unimaginably lot of shit, never seemed to catch a break, from being literally ripped away from her family, sent across the ocean and sold to the menagerie, a never ending stream of painful and shameful experiences in her life as an indenture there, and then trading that life for one of killing and stealing, and despite it all, despite all she's gone through and all she's seen, she holds dearly to her faith, to her memories and her hopes of better days, of a world free from this kind of pain. Arguably even more so because of her experiences.

She wonders if her Saints would forgive her if she took Van Eck's life not out of necessity, but out of revenge. Either way, she was willing to spend a lifetime of repenting and take that chance.

But even beyond that, she's faithful beyond belief. Jan-if I ever commit a hate crime it'd be against this miserable excuse of a man-van Eck, while not having actually broken her legs (although his only reason for stopping being Inej's words) it was evident he was willing to, he was going to, and he made it clear he still might on the next day if she doesn't talk by then.

Fast forward to the one and only "I would have come for you, and if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you," scene (am combusting as well I know).

I find it to be heavily implied which lengths Inej was willing to go before Jan managed to draw a word out of her; her asking Kaz if he would have come for her when she couldn't scale walls or steal secrets for him anymore implies, in my opinion, what she already saw as the outcome of her captivity at Van Eck's hands. She already was thinking of that future, not just because of that growing, nagging doubt of her role in Kaz's life (whether she really was only an investment or if he'd cared in any way more than that about her), but also because no matter what, she wouldn't have given her crew away like that. She already made up her mind; she'd give that icky bastard some locations that had nothing to do with this, and Jan could break every bone in her body but will find no words of hers helpful, and I just worry of and for that girl.

She made that six-story high climb up a burning chimney with a tight time span, she climbed silos that are twenty storys high with an even tighter window of time, she walked a wire on that height and would've walked many more had things gone according to plan (thanks, Dunyasha), she climbed up shipping containers with a knife stabbed at her side, more or less to ensure she did her best for the crew that was counting on her. She would rather end it herself than find herself captive in those enemy's hands, this playing both into her loyalty as well as her history with captivity and what it meant for her.

She is the Wraith, with a reputation that proceeds her, and she also knows how crucial her skills are, how much her crew depends on her, how many of the plans center on and are weaved around her abilities, but she is also fully aware of her limits, fully acknowledging of her betters (Dunyasha you scare me, genuinely). She is religious and holds her faith very dear, but has made peace with the lives she's taken and will continue to take.

Many people see her as Dirtyhand's Wraith and fear her for her association with him, for his uses of her and the things she does at his bidding, but she is scary in her own light and I don't think people should fuck with that.

When she came for Pekka that night, carved in knife right above his heart, promised him a second slash if he thinks of coming back to Ketterdam, she made the once-proclaimed king of the barrel remember pain and fear.

And as if that didn't shake the man enough, she also made sure to replace his son's lion stuffed doll with a fucking crow, so that he'd see it when he inevitably ran to check in on his kid amidst his blood and panic. She gave this man enough mental damage to warrant endless psychiatric help and a lifetime of cowering, fear and paranoia (totally warranted am 100% in support)

She wears her heart on her sleeve; not in the sense of being naive, but in the sense of not being scared of displaying her emotions and thoughts. Her sentiments aren't random, because she always made it clear she cares for the people around her, she will go out of her way to protect them at her own expense and she will nurture those friendships she's built. Her suli subverbs and beliefs don't come off as a surprise, not to anyone around her and not to us as readers because she proudly displays her faith.

Many times, it felt like people, even Kaz, saw her faith as her weakness, something to be exploited, her sentiments something to poke fun at and use to taunt her with, but it's what makes her stronger. It's these thoughts and feelings that keep her going and keep her fighting. It's these friendships and heartfelt moments that she pushes herself over the edge for, and it's that dream just out of reach that rekindles her spirits even brighter than ever, and there's something so beautiful and heartwarming in it and about her that I can honestly spend this new year dissecting and talking about because am insufferable with a rotting hyperfixation. Why are you still here? Jkjk thankyou for reading this brain vomit of thoughts see you in my next tedtalk maybe. Btw if it wasn't glaringly clear I love SoC and Inej lol

[pitchblackveins]

This is me asking about your queer analysis of Suburban Legends!!? Also no rush

THANK YOU

so one of my favorite things about the incredible tournament kelly is running over at @ohdorothea is that its forcing me to actually engage in analysis of songs i havent thought about too much. i'll see a poll with an answer im sure will be sweeping and think to myself huh have i even thought about ways the other song might be queer? and with regard to suburban legends i certainly had not and so i did and it turned out to be queer as hell.

this is long so i put it below the cut

so, when i first listened to suburban legends, i remember thinking it was a bop, but had a bit of a disjointed feeling––like taylor was mashing together different lyrics and song ideas that she liked in a way that was a little incongruous (which is something i think she does sometimes––sometimes it creates a masterpiece, like blank space, and there are some songs where i suspect shes done something similar and it hasnt worked as well). they're adults hiding stuff from each other, theyre in high school, theyre in the 1950s, they nearly live together, what gives. but it makes sense to me know. ahem

anyway. the song is bookended by the real facts of the relationship in the 2010s ( i will not speculate on who the song's about or even whether its about a real relationship). the chorus introduces a phrase––"we were born to be suburban legends"––and runs with it into the second verse, which imagines a world in which they could have become suburban legends, before heading back into the chorus, where the second "you kiss me in a way thats gonna screw me up forever" crashes us back into the reality of her relationship laid out in the bridge.

one could do a lot with the phrase "suburban legends." for me, it evokes two main concepts: a play on "urban legend" folklore, and a more literal reading of a "legendary" suburban high school couple. (these exist in media a lot but idk about real life im not from the suburbs) a couple that seemed picture perfect, the two most popular kids in school, prom king and queen, for years afterward younger kids are trying to live up to them. taylor plays with this idea & the idea of folklore––an urban legend may have its origin in something real, but they're generally understood to be myths, to be untrue.

the second verse paints an idea of how taylor could see them actually BEING suburban legends. its a hypothetical, a thought experiment, a fantasy. what does it mean for a couple to be born to be suburban legends? and more importantly, to fail to fulfill that legacy? we picture a couple so perfect they must be fake, so in love, larger than life, extroverted, charismatic, adored (the high school mini equivalent of fame). and yet. their mismatched star signs would surprise the whole school. why? these legendary couples always seem meant to be together. no one is surprised when the quarterback dates the head cheerleader. but its a fantasy, they dont get together. "when i ended up back at our class reunion walking in with you"––the implication that in this scenario, they went to school together but couldnt be together then, only got together as adults. but they never got together as adults anyway –– "you'd be more than a chapter in my old diary, with the pages ripped out." if taylor crushed on this person in high school, only her diary would know, and it would still be so painful (so shameful?) that she'd rip the pages out. of her most private space. she evokes the "1950s gymnasium," conjuring a specific vision of old teenage dances: back to the future, american grafitti, grease, knee length skirts, heteronormativity. they could never be a "real" suburban legend, they could only ever exist as a piece of folklore, unbelievable and probably untrue. why? you see where im going with this. its cuz theyre gay.

that interpretation of the second verse is what really struck me. but also may i present you:

you know what kind of kiss will screw you up forever? when you have your first gay experience and realize you do not get to have an easy heteronormative life. the kind of kiss that makes you realize you're queer. and she always knew it, that her life would be ruined. it would never be the way she pictured it (romeo save me....) because. gayness.

also "you were so magnetic it was almost obnoxious/flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my empty pockets" fits perfectly with my gay betty backstory but we dont have time to get into all that

[the-bird-and-the-flute]

Elbie's route - ikevil - 13 -22 - mad love

warning: don't read this if you didn't read the other routes

chap. 22

WHAT THE FUCK AHAHAH

ALFONS JUST KISSED MC

what is he up to? omg I need to know

BUT I'M STUCKED IN THE MF INTIMACY CHECK

I totally forgot to post about all the other chapters I read btw, but his route is pretty good so far. I like his Kate.

She was very naive to think that only loving elbie would be enough to make him happy and prevent him from suffering again. But I'm glad she realized that soon enough

Al keeps delivering in his best friends' route ngl ahahah. I was a bit confused in the first part of the route because he was being so nice to MC and he is usually... well... a bit crazy

But we did see some of antics in other chapters. thank you for that cybird.

Also, Elbie is such a sweetheart. The chapter he was crying after confining MC was so sad. I just wanted to hug him for real

But I also like elbie's dark side ahahah. The chapter he killed the guy who was trying to abduct MC was glorious! He didn't give a shit about the criminal. Kate was so shocked, while I was laughing so hard with that scene 😂😂

Btw, I think it's the first time I saw them using their swords ahahahah. Harrison did use his gun, but he also has a sword. Liam uses his knife quite a lot, but I don't think he has a sword. And William doesn't need any of that apparently (which is a shame cuz I'd love to see him making good use of it)

And talking about deaths, we gotta love william. I just got so mad that they didn't show our monarch finishing the mf who was poisoning our elbie. Take him down, William! <3

Oh, and after that, somehow, elbie managed to fuck MC even though he passed out for 2/3 days. He is way stronger than I thought. And, of course, he was jealous of MC going to see Roger lmaoo

[mooncello]

What a fun Sunday so far. ⚡ thank you for the tags @bookish-bogwitch (LOVE seeing some of your writing process), @shrekgogurt (still haven't recovered from ch 13 of ikabikam in the best way possible), @emeryhall (happy anniversary!) & @you-remind-me-of-the-babe (anguished Baz is such a vibe fr).

For today's update:

Enter Niall & Dev.

Truly one of the most unexpected delights of writing this fic has been the insistence of Niall and Dev to show up and take a prominent role in the story. I adore them. I adore them as individual characters, and I love who they are for Baz.

Here's a little from chapter 2 of lost boys. This chapter will publish next week! I'm traveling this week, so I'll post once I'm back.

Under the cut because of length. It's a 30+ sentence Sunday, y'all.

Baz POV, 16 yo, year 12 (school).

Towards the end of lunch, I hear a familiar booming laugh across the canteen. I figure I have two minutes until impact. I tuck my sketchbook and pencils away and twist the lid back onto my thermos of tea. “Just a head’s up,” I say to Niall, who is still contently working away, “we’re about to be interrupted by the demon of chaos hims—” “Bazza!” There’s the solid thump of a hand against my shoulder and the dramatic collapse of tall, muscular limbs into the seat beside me. “My favourite nerd. How’s it going, cuz?” Dev flashes his white, perfect teeth at me before snatching my remaining bourbon biscuit. His fingernails are painted turquoise today, his dark hair is swept away from his face, and he’s wearing eyeliner. The bastard looks amazing. Despite being cousins, we never really hung out as kids. Always kept to different social circles. Which is to say Dev constantly had a roving pack of friends, and I had nobody (save for the lost boys in my dreams). But when I got outed this past spring, Dev decided to take a more active presence in my life. He even convinced me to join the football team with him. He’s charismatic and popular in his own way, and so unabashedly and loudly himself that even the nastiest bullies don’t bother him. It's been nice, having Dev in my life. Even though it means I now deal with his chaotic, abrasive personality all the goddamn time. “Dev, this is Niall.” I make a small sweeping motion to the boy across from us. Dev raises his chin in greeting. “New kid. Hey.” Niall smiles faintly. He looks rather disoriented. Possibly awestruck. I don’t blame him. Dev tends to have that effect on people. I’m almost envious of it. Another smack hits my upper arm. “Did’ya hear about practice this afternoon? Thirty minutes later than usual.” “Yes, I received the same team-wide notification, Dev, thank you.” Dev is now peering at Niall’s drawing tablet without shame, while continuing to talk to me. “A bunch of us are getting ice cream after the match on Friday. Wanna join?” “That’s a very solid maybe,” I tell him in a tone that communicates I’d rather eat grass laced with slug poison. I like playing on the pitch, but I’m not about to huff dairy with a bunch of footballer lads. “Great.” Dev stands, all six feet of him, and squeezes my top knot. I sigh and bat his hand away. Clearly I need to have another conversation with him about acceptable physical contact. “See you at practice then. Nice meeting you, Niall.” He’s off in a swirl of flair and overpriced body spray. “Sorry about him,” I murmur to Niall. I really hope he’s not scared off.

hellos & tags! xoxo

@thewholelemon, @best--dress, @facewithoutheart, @cutestkilla, @whatevertheweather, @artsyunderstudy, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @fatalfangirl, @youarenevertooold, @raenestee, @orange-peony, @ileadacharmedlife, @nightimedreamersworld, @rimeswithpurple, @iamamythologicalcreature, @shemakesmeforget & @arthurkko (your merwolves ... still thinking about your merwolves)

[emblemxeno]

Something ironic is that even though 3H is a massive game with a very strong and consistent creative fandom, I have had no creative spark with that game beyond discourse lol.

Of course, my type of creative output is different from most people's; I like reading into things, analyzing dialogue to recontextualize characters as a whole, look for real world analogies, hypothesize potential non-canon interactions, etc.

E.g., the Nohr siblings and their relationships with their father, with each other, or the court is never explicitly laid out in detail as to what happened. At best, you get basic extrapolations such as "we were told not to talk to Azura" or "our mothers used us as tools to curry favor and to sabotage/hurt one another."

Put those backstories and character traits against events in the story? It makes you think. Elise, Leo, and Camilla are stressed tf out and panicking over Xander and Corrin's fight during chapter 2, cuz siblings hurting each other = one's gonna die to them. Corrin choosing Hoshido or even siding with neither kingdom is a strike against Xander's ego and his built up sense of normalcy as a stoic fraternal unit trying to hold together the last remnants of his family. Camilla intertwines violence and love because she was raised receiving love and affection from her mother only after being subservient to her mom's terrible actions towards the other concubines and royal children. Leo is on Forrest's case at first because he has his on warped sense of "bringing shame and dishonor" to his family, an amalgamation of his loneliness when the other sibs focus on Corrin despite his own accomplishments and his mom most likely drilling it into his head that he has to be talented to be an honorable prince; it's little wonder he lets up on Forrest when he sees his son doing something noble and selfless like healing and attending to an entire town. Elise is an outlier because she's so young, and that either manifests as reckless, well-meaning bravery, or blubbering, immature outbursts draped in ignorance; she knows nothing beyond her supposedly good family unit other than what's been told to her second-hand, so how is she supposed to react when the rug is pulled from under her?

With 3H I don't get that kind of stuff, partly because the game is just that packed with dialogue and auxiliary comments from characters (IMO, a big reason why things seem bloated), and partly because of the way the story is delivered; since Byleth is a silent protagonist, character dialogue seesaws between having a conversation and telling/expositing at you, which results in a restrictive writing style that's actively harmful to implicit writing or subtext. There's nothing to scratch your brain about, because the game pretty much does that for you. And while many think having characters comment on story events each chapter in Garreg Mach is a positive to world building and narrative depth, I actually think the opposite, because the medium in which this dialogue and insights are given-talking to them with a silent protag who can't ever have an actual conversation-feels like I'm a scientist putting variables against each other and extracting data and information from the results, rather than a story with believable characters with lives, dreams, and relationships.

...Though, writing this out, maybe that's why it's appealing to other creatives. Maybe it's the equivalent to getting a 2,000 piece lego set, and switching only a few things around without dismantling the entire base project. The product itself is seen as art that can be altered in specific, minute ways that inspire curiosity and creative reaction.

I, on the other hand, get the most fun out of thinking about why the pieces fit together in the first place and how well they do in practice. Different strokes, I guess.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Lovers & Friends (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Keigo Takami x Black!Fem!Reader (Friends to Lovers)

Synopsis: In which you and Keigo have begun to realize the strange new feelings you both have for each other after one drunken night at a close friend’s wedding that ends with you in his bed, but because of your longtime friendship and committed relationships with other people, you’re more than happy to forget that night even happened and keep your mutual feelings in the dark…for now, at least. 

Story Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GET AWAY); Cheating/Infidelity; Mating; Light Degradation; Spanking; Exhibitionism; Multiple Positions; Creampie; Unprotected PIV Sex; Facials; Scent Play; Marking; Spitting; Deepthroating; Cunnilingus; Begging; Edgeplay; Power Play; Daddy Kink; Some Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Mild Violence

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic (except for Rei and Haruko). However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer's Note: SMUTTY SMUT BELOW. And I start my new big girl job on Monday. I'm shitting myself. More than anything, I'm scared I'm not gonna have much time to write my fic shit, BUT I'll try to make time for it cuz I love it & y'all so much!! AND GO TOUCH GRASS. -Jazz

Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Bonus Chapter.

Read on AO3 here!

************

Chapter Seven: Taking A Dip.

The pool area is empty except for you and Keigo, leaving an infinity pool and its appetizing, blue water ready for the taking. 

The city of downtown Musutafu glitters like dozens of diamonds stretching into the distance as you look out from the top of the building. The night air is warm and the sky is clear. You can see every star and constellation from here.

Keigo stands beside you, his arms behind his head and a hooded look in his eyes where you can tell he’s drunk. But, of course, he is to have agreed to have come with you to do this. 

“Looks like we got the whole place to ourselves,” he states before turning to you expectantly. “So what’s up? You gonna strip or what?”

You look down at the water, hesitant now. “Uh…”

That’s all you can muster. Your brain is too foggy from the alcohol and dancing to say anything else. Plus, the confidence you felt oozing out of you before is gone now, replaced with a feeling of uncertainty. What were you thinking, coming up here? Are you that desperate to get over Rei? 

‘Or are you that determined to get Keigo alone?’ a sly voice in your head teases. 

You push the thought away along with the strange feeling that bloomed inside of you seeing him pummel that asshole in the club. So protective he is…so dominant. Nothing like you’ve ever seen out of Rei. 

“O-On second thought, I think I might just dip my feet in,” you softly stutter as you take a step away from the pool. Keigo scowls at you, confused. “What? You dragged me all the way up here just to chicken out?”

After a beat of silence and you not budging, he rolls his golden eyes. “Suit yourself, but I’m gettin’ in. After that chaotic scene, Daddy needs to relax.” 

He begins to strip without another word your way, acting as if you’re not even there and he’s instead standing in the privacy of his bedroom. He toes off his shoes and socks as he unbuttons his top, one button after the other. He then slowly peels it off, revealing his impressive upper torso and muscular back where his red wings sprout from his shoulder muscles.

You also see some healed scars etched into his tanned skin, including the burn scars he obtained from Dabi, all of them testaments of his strength and courage. He then reaches for his slacks and turns to you, a smirk playing on his lips. “Watch if you want to,” he chuckles cheekily. “You know I don’t mind.” 

“Ew,” you scoff, but flush despite yourself. Your eyes continue to slyly and shamelessly indulge in your friend’s gorgeous body when he pulls down his pants, revealing his muscular calves, bite-worthy thighs, and firm ass in his Armani briefs. 

'Label whore,’ you think, your eyes still planted on his backside. You can see why so many ladies flock to him like birds. He truly is a beautiful man. 

He slowly sits down on the edge of the pool before dipping his feet in. Then he slides down the rest of the way into the water until you just see his head. “Ah,” he sighs in pleasure. “Damn, that feels good on my wings.” 

He turns to you, the blue water illuminating his skin and handsome face. “You sure you don’t wanna get in, baby bird? The water feels amazing.” He places his feet on the wall and kicks himself out where he begins swimming backwards, smiling giddily as he does so. He looks so happy. Why can’t you feel that happy right now too? 

“Well…” Nerves you’ve never felt before flood inside of you at the thought of stripping down in front of your friend. Why do you feel so weird about this? Keigo is your friend! He saw you naked back in middle school which became the start of your friendship. Nothing has changed. 

‘Right,’ you think, trying to calm yourself. ‘Nothing has changed.’ 

Keigo is waiting for you, a warm smile playing on his lips. “Alright,” you sigh defeatedly. “But turn around and look the other way.”

Keigo looks confused but does as you say regardless. Once he is facing away from you, you strip yourself of your dress and heels with quivering fingers, doing your best to calm yourself by taking deep breaths. You chalk it up to the alcohol making you feel so off. 

Finally, you stand near the edge of the pool in just your bra and panties. You walk over to the steps and descend down into the water, hissing slightly as the cool water hits your skin. When you’re finally in the pool with Keigo, you realize just what he was talking about. The water is soothing on your tired muscles, easing you into relaxation.

“Oh,” you sigh, pleasantly surprised. “That does feel good.” 

“Right?” he chuckles, watching you. “They must’ve put some kind of massage oil in this water.”

You hum in agreement and hold your arms out in front of you as you bring your legs up and tip backward. You begin to float on your back in the water, now staring up at the starry sky above.

You hear the splashes of Keigo moving around in the water as he begins to float too, suddenly ending up beside you. His fingers brush against your shoulder as he does, sending sparks down your arm that you ignore. 

For a while, you two just float together, side by side, like two lily pads in a pond. “You remember when we used to do this?” you randomly ask as a childhood memory pops into your head. “All those boring ass summers at the city pool.” 

A light, reminiscent laugh leaves Keigo’s lips. “Do I?” he chuckles. “And Dabi would be so scared to get in ‘cause he was so sure he’d lose his quirk if he touched the water.” 

You laugh too, remembering those days in high school when you four used to jump the fence (except for you so Keigo would have to physically pick you up and fly you over the fence) to take a dip in the city pool. Echoes of your, Keigo, and Rumi’s laughter at Dabi’s fear of the water fill your head. When you’d laugh, Dabi would usually use his quirk to turn the water into ice, cackling when you three would scramble for safety out of the pool. 

Those days were so carefree and simple. You didn’t have to constantly worry about money, relationships, or survival. You didn't have to ponder over whether you would ever get married and have a family of your own. You didn’t ever have to wonder if you were truly happy. Suddenly, you don’t feel too content now. 

“Hawks?” you randomly ask, filling the silence with your voice. 

“Hm?” he hums in response. 

You stare up at the sky, questioning whether you should ask this forbidden question or not. But the alcohol gets to you. “How do you think Fatgum and Haruko did it?” you wonder aloud. “They’ve been together for six years and I’m sure they’ve had problems, but how do you think they managed to make it all the way to the altar? How did they know it was right for them?”

Keigo is silent for a moment, processing your loaded question. “I don’t know,” he finally answers. “I guess they just found that they fit. Sometimes you think you’ve met a person that fits into your life, like a puzzle piece. But then you find that they don’t just quite match up.” 

His fingers brush your arm, not but accident this time, and you shiver. “Other times, you’ll find people in your life that you know deep down that fit. That doesn’t mean you have to end up with them romantically though. Sometimes they’re just good friends or people you can trust.” 

His words bring tears to your eyes. He’s so right, and you feel so gutted over it. “I thought Rei was my piece,” you sigh wistfully. “He had a place in my puzzle that I thought was right. But we just weren’t right enough to fit in each other’s lives.”

The tears begin to well in your eye sockets, making the sky blur above you, and suddenly, you’re crying. It is soft and subtle, but enough to flip Keigo right into comfort mode. 

“Hey,” he softly says, moving to stand upright in the water. He helps you too, taking your arms and helping you place your legs back in the water. Once your lower torso is back in the water, he tilts your chin up to meet his eyes. You see nothing but concern and the utmost care in those golden orbs.

He opens his arms for you for an embrace you can’t resist in your hurt, drunk state. “Come here,” he coos. You fall into his body, wrapping your arms around him as he does to do. 

He holds you tight, making you feel every ripple of his muscles. Even in the water, he stands a head taller than you so he has the advantage to putting his chin on your head. You softly sob into the crook of his shoulder, letting all of the emotions you’re feeling tumble down.

“You don’t need someone to complete you, Y/N,” he whispers. "Especially someone like Rei. You deserve so much more as intelligent, kind, and amazing as you are.” 

He squeezes you to him, the pressure making you feel present. Real. “And you know you’ll always fit with me, Dabi, and Rumi,” he fiercely states. "Always.” You know that he means it; that it’s a promise. 

“Thank you,” you softly sob as gratitude for him washes over you. You pull away from him, wiping at your tears. “God, I’m a mess,” you sniffle, looking away from him. You don’t need him to see you like this––so broken. Keigo takes your wrists into his hands, prying them away from your wet face. 

“C’mon, look at me,” he whispers. 

You do so and you instantly regret it. Because now you don’t see the concern of a friend in his eyes. You see something more. Something deeper. It’s intimate and sensual, his golden irises appearing like sunken treasure to you now as they glide over your face, taking in every single imperfection. He looks at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, and he makes sure you know that.

“How is it you look so beautiful even when you cry?” He wonders aloud. 

You get the feeling that he is talking to himself more than you, but your body still reacts all the same. You become hot despite the cool, crisp water on your skin and your heart hammers against your chest as fast as a hummingbird’s wings.

“Keigo,” you whisper, because that’s the only word you can think to say. The air has suddenly shifted to something more charged so you struggle to breathe. It feels like your lungs are being squeezed the more time that ticks by and the closer Keigo gets to you. 

You don't even realize that he is leaning in until his lips are on yours. They are pillowy-soft and smooth. They move slowly and carefully against yours as if afraid you’ll bolt or shove him away, though the kiss is still passionate. You can feel every ounce of tenderness and intimacy in this one little act. Instantly, all of the sadness and guilt you felt earlier dissipates. All from Keigo’s lips. 

It ends faster than it began and horror crosses Keigo’s face when he realizes what he just did. What just transpired between you. “Shit,” he swears. “I-I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t…”

The rest of his sentence dies in his throat as you slowly lean in again and press another small, innocent kiss to his pillow-soft lips. 

You only peck his lips one, tentatively so, wanting to try it out again to make sure those fluttery feelings you felt from the first one are still there. They are. This leads you to lean in again and kiss him deeper, passion exploding between you. Your arms find his neck and his find your waist, his fingers running up and down your spine and across your waist.

‘No,’ your head thinks. ‘Stop it. Push him away. You shouldn’t be doing this. He’s your best friend!’ 

But your heart and your body say something different. You know you need this and you’re helpless to stop, especially when Keigo runs his tongue across your bottom lip.

You grant him access to your mouth by parting your lips a bit, allowing him inside. You feel his tongue begin to swirl with yours, the taste of tequila and champagne heavy on his tongue. You softly moan at the taste and feeling of his hands on you, never traveling farther than your back.

But you want them further. You want them everywhere. It’s so, so wrong to be feeling this way, but it also feels…right.Like you and him are meant to do this. 

Keigo pulls away from the kiss, saliva dangling between your tongues, to duck down to your neck. His lips latch onto your throat and collarbone, peppering your skin in kisses and slight nibbles that have you gasping and softly moaning into his ear. Your best friend is kissing your neck. This is insane. He begins to reach for your bra strap, his fingers tickling your spine, but you’re cognitive enough to realize where you are. 

“Keigo,” you whimper. “Not here.” He peels himself away from you and fixes his eyes on you, his stare intense and unyielding. “Are you sure?” he asks. You know that he's asking if you’re sure about doing this. About crossing this fragile line between friends and not-friends. 

You know that you’re drunk. You know you’re not thinking clearly. You know you should say no and stop this from happening. But the idea of spending tonight alone is worse than death for you right now. “Yes,” you hear yourself whisper breathlessly. “Just take me, Kei. I don’t care. Just please take me.” You grip his shoulders in desperation, peering up at him through your lashes. 

He doesn’t need any more confirmation. Instantly, his hand is in yours and he’s helping you swim towards the pool steps to gather your clothes. You don’t quite remember putting them on. You don’t even really remember walking towards the elevator to go down to the hotel lobby. You’re only aware of Keigo and the hotel clerk’s voices being a mumble while your arms are looped around his waist and your head is leaning on his shoulder.

At some point though, you and Keigo go up to a hotel room. When he uses the key given to him by the clerk to get in, you’re taken aback by how beautiful it is. The living room area is spacious with beige floors, white, plush furniture, a flat-screen, a minibar, and a kitchenette. The scent of lavender and clean sheets hits your nose as you walk in, shivering slightly from the AC. 

As soon as you’re inside the room and the door shuts, Keigo is on you. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling himself flush against you where you feel his hard-on pressing into your back. You gasp softly at the feeling, realization hitting you: your best friend is hard for you. He’s turned on by you.

His lips find your neck, pressing soft, wet kisses along it. You moan as his lips press everywhere he can reach––the back of your neck; your shoulders; behind your ears. “Keigo,” you softly moan. 

“Tell me what’s goin’ on in that head,” he says, sounding absolutely in need of you. His hands grip your hips, pulling you tight against him. “Tell me you don’t want this now and I’ll stop.”

But you don’t want him to. All rational thinking has flown out the window for tonight. You loop an arm around the back of his neck, turning your head to messily kiss him. “I want this,” you whisper against his pillowy-soft lips. “I need this, Kei. Please just fuck me.” 

Keigo doesn’t need any more confirmation. He turns you around by your hips and scoops you up, forcing you to wrap your legs tight around him. You moan into your feverish kiss as you feel his bulge press against your panty-covered pussy, still wet from the pool and your arousal that is quickly taking over you.

You wrap your arms tight around his neck so you’re wrapped around him like a koala bear, your body pressed flush against his. His hands cup your ass as he walks through the hotel room to the bedroom which has a single king-sized bed, a private bathroom, and a flatscreen. 

You don’t have enough time to admire the decor or how big the bed is when Keigo places you onto the cool, navy blue comforter covering it. The fabric smells of fresh cotton and feels soft against your skin. You relax into the mattress, your arms at the top of your head and your legs opened, your knees bent.

You stare up at Keigo who stands at the foot of the bed, admiring you. His eyes shine in the darkness like molten gold, making you tremble. You’re not sure if it’s out of anticipation or anxiety. But when he touches you, just one hand sliding up your thigh, one thing is for sure: you feel safe under his touch. 

Keigo continues to slide his hand up your thigh until he reaches the hem of your dress. His eyes tick to yours, a question in them: Okay? 

You nod, afraid to speak and ruin the magic you feel in this room tonight. With his other hand, he begins to peel your dress up your body, revealing your damp panties and bra.

“Fuck,” he whispers, mostly to himself. “You’re so beautiful.” You flush at his compliment. Though he has given you many compliments before, this one feels different. It’s way more intimate and sensual, especially in this context. 

He positions himself on top of you, using one hand to keep himself upright and not crush you. With his other hand, he begins to pull the front of your bra down to reveal your breasts and hardened nipples. You lean up to help him, unhooking your bra from the back and letting it fall away from your chest. 

You shiver under his gaze, relishing the way he stares at you in complete awe. He looks at you as if he has dreamed of your breasts for years now. Wordlessly, he presses his hand to one and latches his lips on the other, twirling his tongue around your hard, brown nipple.

A moan escapes your lips at the feeling of his wet tongue and skillful hand playing with your breasts. You lay back down, relaxing as his ministrations continue. He soon alternates between your breasts, soft moans emitting from his mouth as he sucks on your nipples. You feel him nip and tuck at your skin, no doubt trying to give you hickeys. He even tugs and tweaks at your nipples, sending tiny parks of pain through your body that make you gush. 

When he does it the first time, just by pinching one of your nipples between his thumb and index finger, you can’t help the loud moan that pours from your chest. “Fuck, Keigo,” you gasp, tossing your head back. “Do that again!”

He does so, making you gasp. Your hands find his hair, your fingers threading through his blonde locks. 

“You like that?” he asks, his hot breath fanning across your naked breasts.

You nod, a whimper leaving your lips which makes him chuckle. He continues to knead one of your gorgeous titties with one hand while his mouth works one of your nipples, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body. Your pussy trembles and gushes in your panties, begging for some relief and attention. He must be reading your thoughts too because you suddenly feel his free hand creep down between your thighs to stroke your pussy through your panties. 

“Fuck!” you cry out, your thighs clenching around his hand. He continues to stroke you up and down, his fingers sliding against your clit that jumps and quivers at his touch. It’s unbearable. You need to feel his fingers on you. You need direct contact.

“Keigo,” you whine. He peeks his eyes up at you from your chest, still sucking away at your nipples. “Just pull them to the side,” you huff, nodding down at your underwear. “Please…I need you.” 

Understanding what you’re craving, Keigo pops your nipple out of his mouth, his eyes flashing with lust. Without a single word, he peels your panties to the side with one hand and begins to gently play with your pussy. He slides his fingers along your slit for a few moments, getting you used to his touch, before dipping his fingers between your soaked pussy lips. You toss your head back and moan at the feeling of his fingers playing with you, feeling released.

“You’re so wet, mama,” he whispers, staring down at his fingers stroking your cunt. “All of this for me. Me.” He says it like he can’t believe it. 

You whimper, opening your legs more for him. He begins to slide his fingers along your clit, not going under the hood. Your moans grow louder as he rubs your clit with his index and middle fingers while his thumb continues to slide along your slit, just dipping very lightly into your pussy.

You notice how closely he pays attention to your responses, both verbal and physical. With every change in your breathing pattern, every moan, whimper, and gasp, every twitch of your body, he does what you wordlessly tell him. You’ve never had someone pay such close attention to you and what you need. 

His tempo and pressure begin to get you close to cumming, so you place a hand on his wrist, stopping him. He looks up at you in confusion, wondering why you stopped him. You lean in and press a pleading kiss to his lips, emitting a moan from him.

Your tongue licks his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He grants it to you, parting his lips to allow your tongue to swirl with his. The kiss is wet, sloppy, and messy. Just the way you like it.

Keigo’s deep moans travel straight to your pussy, making it gush around his fingers that continue to slowly and lazily rub you. When you pull away, a string of saliva hangs between your bottom lips. You immediately go for his crotch, touching his hardened dick hiding beneath his pants. He stares at you longingly, eyes lust-blown. 

“I need you too,” you moan, begging him with your eyes and your touch. “I wanna touch you.”

You’ve never wanted to touch someone more. Without a reply, Keigo positions himself on his back, his head against the pillows. His golden eyes beckon you forward along with his cock that pulses inside of his briefs.

Unable to stop yourself, you slowly crawl over to him, loving the way he watches you. He doesn't take his eyes off of you for an instant. To him, nothing matters but you. 

Once near him, you turn around and climb on top of him, letting him help you by positioning his hands on your hips. You lean forward so your ass and naked pussy are in his face, both of your holes on display for him. The hungered groan that escapes his lips makes you smile to yourself. You love feeling desired like this. You feel his hot breath and soft lips fan over your ass as he begins kissing your asscheeks, his hands massaging the globes of fat to his liking. 

When you finally pull down his boxers, you can hardly believe your eyes. His cock is the most beautiful one you’ve ever seen. Thick; veiny; tan; curves slightly upward. It protrudes from a thick nest of trimmed, blonde curls that are darker than the hair on his head which trails up to his toned stomach and abs. “You’re perfect,” you whisper aloud, entranced by how gorgeous of a dick he is packing. 

“Thanks,” he chuckles, his breathing fanning against your pussy. “But actions speak louder than words, baby.”

He then goes back to devouring your pussy, running his tongue up and down your slit. You give him the same treatment by licking your hand and stroking his cock, up and down, up and down. You let him get used to the feeling of your hand on him, and you get used to the feeling of his cock in your hand. He feels so heavy and soft, all smooth, warm skin in your palm that you watch stretch across his shaft. 

His soft moans into your pussy at the feeling of your soft, little hand stroking him and the vibrations his moans cause push you to move things further. You open your mouth wide and wrap your lips around his cock. You moan at the same as he does when your cock sinks into your hot, wet mouth. He feels so warm, hard, and stiff in your mouth.

And he tastes heavenly! 

Though the pre-cum that bubbles from his cock head is salty, it somehow tastes good to you. You love his dick in your mouth. You show him how much by sucking on him in time with your hand, stroking whatever you can’t fit in your mouth. 

You feel Keigo grip your ass tighter as your tongue slides against his shaft and your cheeks hollow, making your mouth even tighter of a hole for him. “Fuck, baby,” he groans, his breath fanning against your clit. “Your mouth feels amazing.” 

You hum appreciatively around his cock, continuing to suck on him, imagining him stretching out your cunt the same way he's stretching out your mouth until your jaw begins to ache. 

You have a reason to pop off his dick and take a break when you feel his finger begin to caress your slit in replacement of his tongue. You moan in response to the way the soft pad of his finger brushes against your sensitive pussy lips and dips ever so slightly into your entrance. 

As he does this, you feel his tongue begin to bathe your asscheeks, licking at the globes of fat until it trails down to gently lap at your asshole. Your mouth falls open, reacting to the pleasure, but also the fact that Keigo likes to eat ass. Rei never did this for you!

But then again, you never thought to try this either. You’re honestly shocked at how nice it feels combined with his finger lightly fucking your pussy. 

“Fuck, Kei!” you moan, your head dropping down from the utter pleasure coursing through your body. Keigo hums from behind you, his face stuffed between your ass that he’s gripping for dear life. He pulls away and you feel the trail of saliva he has left behind along your asscrack.

“This okay?” he huskily asks. “You like my tongue here?” His finger continues to pet your pussy, his knuckles nudging at your clit. “Yes,” you whimper. “Yes, please, just keep going. Whatever you’re doing feels amazing.” 

He chuckles lightly from underneath you and spits on your pussy before slurping it back up, sucking on your lips as he does. Your moans and wails bounce off the hotel walls as he continues to eat your cunt and your asshole, his lips, fingers, and tongue working magic on your body.

You’ve ever had someone treat your body so well and pay such close attention to your reactions to whatever they do next. It feels good to be taken care of in such a way. 

You want to make him feel the same way, so you take him back into your mouth and you don’t stop. You sink lower onto his dock, pushing him deep, deep, deep into your throat until you’re gagging along his dick and spit is dripping down his balls. His shuddering moans and huffs into your holes make you take him deeper, your throat stroking his cock oh-so-well.

You’re completely filled by him, wondering if your pussy will feel the same way with him finally snuggly inside of you. Taking things one step further, you take one hand and lightly begin to stroke one of his wings splayed out along the bed. 

“Shit!” Keigo hisses. You feel his body tremble underneath yours the more you stroke his feathers. You know how sensitive his wings are.

One time, Keigo described an interesting experience at a spa where the masseuse was way too good with her fingers, started massaging his wings, and he came all over himself. It was a very embarrassing moment, to say the least, but he put in a good word to the masseuse’s boss to make up for it. Though the story was hilarious, you always were curious as to how he would react to your touch.

You get your answer now, listening to him moan and feeling his hips grind up into you, his cock nudging against your tits for relief. Your fingertips play with each silky, soft, crimson feather, stroking up and down each part of his beautiful wing and enjoying his body’s responses. 

“Jesus, Y/N,” he says shudderingly. “You tryin’ to make me cum like this or what?”

You giggle at his impatience. “Sorry. Lemme help you out.” While you’re still playing with his feathers, you wrap your mouth around his cock once more while you stroke the bottom half with the other. You are put to work, using your mouth and hands to please him while he pleases you.

When he starts to thrust this cock into your throat in time with your head-bobbing, he nearly loses it. “Fuck, Y/N!” he growls. “If you keep doin’ that, I’m gonna cum down your throat.” 

You nod eagerly onto his cock before popping off of it, your mouth coated in pre and spit. “Do it,” you plea. “Cum in my mouth. I want you to.” You go to suck him off again, but he stops you by laying a hand on your shoulder. “No,” he says determinedly. “I need to be looking at your face if I’m gonna do that.” 

Something in his tone makes your pussy gush and ache for the same thing. You stop touching him and lean up onto your knees, right above his hard, throbbing cock.

“Let me get you inside of me first then,” you purr. You feel Keigo tense underneath you, obviously not thinking you wanted intercourse. You look back at him with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry; I’m on the pill.”

You shift your hips as his hands grasp your hips, helping you keep steady while you hover above him. “Go ahead, babe,” he breathlessly says. “I’m all yours. I’m whatever you want me to be.” 

He takes his cock into his hand and aligns it with your entrance, never moving even an inch. He lets you take complete control of this. “I’m your man tonight, baby,” he whispers. “If you want me.”

Those words nearly drive you insane. Once you’re ready, to come down onto his cock, only taking the tip first. You both gasp at the same time as soon as he’s snuggly inside of you despite it only being the head.

It’s a stretch and it takes a few breaths to take him, but Keigo is patient and plays with your clit in the process. His fingers definitely help, making your cunt slipperier enough to take him inch after inch. With each one you sink down on, you rise back up onto your knees until you’re slowly bouncing on his dick. 

You felt your pussy accommodating to his girth, your walls stretching around him. You’ve never felt so full before. He’s so thick that he fills up every inch of your pussy, making him feel a lot bigger each time you move back down to take him.

Keigo keeps his hands on your hips, moaning every time your pussy comes down along his cock. “Goddamn, you’re takin’ me so good,” he groans. “You’re so wet…so tight…so…f-fuck.” 

It’s starting to feel better for you too, so much so that you start bouncing a little faster than before. Soon, the sound of skin smacking against skin begins to echo throughout the room as your ass slams against his pelvis and your pussy sinks down onto his cock, again and again.

You’re fucking your best friend. You’re having sex with your best friend…and it feels so damn amazing.

“God, Kei!” you cry out, tossing your head back. Your moans become louder as his fingers continue to rub your clit, his circles becoming quicker. “You feel so good! I could cum just like this!” 

“Go ahead,” he urges. “Cum all over me if you wanna. You deserve it.”

You feel him sit up, his front against your back, forcing you to sit down fully on his cock.

“You need it,” he growls into your ear. You damn near scream in pleasure when he leans you forward by placing a hand on your back and begins to rail you, his hips slamming against your ass. 

With each thrust it bounces and jiggles, hypnotizing Keigo and causing him to give your cheek one loud smack. The only sounds echoing in the room are of the bedsprings bouncing, skin slapping against skin, the lewd squelching of his cock plunging into your pussy, and your moans quickly reaching a crescendo as your orgasm begins to rise.

You can’t stop it. It rushes over you like a tidal wave, causing the knot in your core to finally snap.

“Fuck, I’m cumming!” you shout. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna…”

And you do. Your body trembles and a long, drawn moan of release leaves your lips as you cream all over Keigo’s cock. Pleasure courses through your body for one single moment until it starts to fade, leaving you feeling totally satisfied. 

You can hardly believe it: you came for your best friend, all over his dick. And it felt amazing. Keigo holds you in his arms, his thrusts pausing and his cock still hard inside of you. He wipes your hair from your brow and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Still want another?” he asks against your temple.

You feel his cock throb insistently inside of you, drawing a weak moan out of you. You turn your head to brush your lips against his, his cologne invading your senses. “You didn’t cum yet,” you purr. “So hell yes.” 

In a blink of an eye, you find yourself on your back, falling victim to Keigo’s ungodly speed, his dick still inside of you. A giggle escapes your lips that is quickly swallowed by his lips when he swoops down to kiss you.

He wastes no time hiking your legs over his shoulders and proceeding to rail you like the world is ending. His speed is quicker than before, his grip on your hips hard and possessive. “Is this okay?” he asks, worry in his crimson eyes. “I’m not hurting you?” 

You vigorously shake your head against the pillow underneath you. “Don’t stop,” you whimper. “Please don't stop, Keigo!”

Your hands trail up to grasp his shoulders and your ankles lock around his waist, your heels digging into his ass. “Fuck me,” you plea, staring deep into his eyes. “Please, baby.”

Baby. Like he’s your baby. Like he’s yours. 

The pet name seems to affect Keigo deeply because he completely changes before your eyes. His eyes grow a darker crimson, like the purest blood, and his wings curl around you, shielding you from the outside world.

Before you can ask what’s happening, he begins to fuck you harder, faster, rougher. He is almost feral in the way he fucks you into the mattress, grappling at your tits that bounce every time he thrusts his hips forward and smacks at the meat of your thighs. 

“Fuck, Kei!” you shout, your eyes going wide at how deep and fast he’s fucking you. “Your hand!”

Keigo slows his roll for a moment, staring down at you in confusion. “Huh?” he huffs, still bumping his hips into yours. 

You’re so drunk off the alcohol you consumed earlier and the pleasure that you just blurt what you want: “Put your hand around my throat,” you plea. “Please.”

His eyes widen an inch, looking shocked at your request. But he doesn’t refuse it either. 

One hand reaches down to wrap around your throat, his fingers squeezing your neck. It’s not enough to make you uncomfortable, but it’s just enough to make your mouth fall open and your airwaves feel constricted. He begins to fuck you up against the bed again and it suddenly feels way more intense than before.

“You like that, mama?” he growls. “You like my hand around that throat? You wanna get choked while I fuck you?” 

You pitifully whine in response, unable to speak with his hand grasping your throat and his dick stroking your insides. His cock turns your pussy into wet, gummy mush as it glides against your G-spot and his pelvis nudges against your sensitive clit. It’s all too much. You’re going dizzy from the pleasure. You’re seeing stars. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. 

Keigo leans down to press his forehead to yours, the intimacy of it somehow making the fucking session even more intense. “You wanna cum?” he teasingly asks. “You wanna cum with me?”

He squeezes his hand around your throat a little more, constricting your breath. You wordlessly nod, sobs of pleasure escaping you as your pussy tightens around his cock again. You can tell this orgasm is going to be a big, exhausting one.

“Make me cum!” you beg, gripping his shoulders tighter. “Please make me cum, Keigo!” 

He doesn’t need to be told twice. He plunges his cock into you at a breakneck pace with his mouth latched onto yours, your tongues swishing together. He pulls away with a groan and stares down at you, his gorgeous face contorted in pleasure.

“I'm gonna cum,” he whispers. “I want you to cum with me too. Give it to me, baby.”

He sits up and speeds up his hips, fucking you up against the bed and causing the headboard to knock against the wall. “Cum for me, Y/N,” he demands. “Cum on this dick. Do it for me, baby girl.” 

You toss your head back and cum with a loud, long moan of his name, sparks of pleasure exploding in your body. It triggers his own orgasm almost instantly. He stills his hips and grips your body to his as his cock spurts rope after rope of cum deep inside of you, filling your pussy up.

“Fuck!” he growls into your ear, panting heavily into your ear. You weakly whine as you feel him cum inside of you, the wet, warm feeling overwhelming you. Aftershocks begin to course through your body, causing you to buck your hips against Keigo. He grips you to him as if he's afraid of letting go, making you feel every ripple of his muscles against yours. 

“It’s okay,” he coos into your ear. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you now.” He begins to stroke the back of your hair as the aftershocks begin to fade, leaving you exhausted and sleepy from two great orgasms.

“I’ve got you,” he says again, lower this time, as if he’s saying it to himself. He continues to say this like a mantra, but you barely hear it. It becomes a lullaby to you, slowly dragging you further and further towards sleep. 

And some point during the aftercare, you pass out and Keigo wraps his soft-like-silk wings around you as he settles next to you. He presses a kiss to your forehead, lingering there for a moment. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispers.

Then sleep comes for him too. 

[celestie0]

Ooof, sorry if come across rude or anything negative. Just saw your post ihm ex wife asks and how people were being rude or weirdly jealous. I hoped that my ask about knowing more about ihm ex wife, didn’t come off as being weird or rude person. ( I’m the that mention Lana del Rey)

It Seems at one point she’s going be added into the story? Correct me if I’m wrong but that’s really exciting!

Your whole au is my obsessed anyways apologize if came off ass weird/rude :(

hi love! mm yea, i think your ask did contribute to those feelings, mainly the part where you said you entirely block the ex wife part of the story out of your mind because you can’t imagine him w someone else other than reader

i don’t know, i have actually gotten similar asks for kickoff when i had a couple people tell me they skipped all of the scenes with kai in it bc they didn’t want to read about any other guy other than gojo

thing is, those are just things you don’t have to tell an author. if you do block things out or skip things, that’s fine. but just because you have access to communicate with a fanfic author doesn’t mean you should share those things with them. readers forget that we, fanfic authors, have a much more deeply invested personal interest in these stories as the creators of them, than a reader might have. it’s different from texting your friend “oh i dislike xyz ab this story”…because you’re literally sending those words to the person who put all their hard work n time into writing it lol

i try to put this into perspective, but for the whole kai thing for example: i spent a great deal of time planning those scenes out, spent a great deal of time writing & editing those scenes, n ultimately believe those scenes contribute greatly to the dynamics of the story. for people to straight up tell me they skipped those scenes, it’s odd and upsetting for sure.

i’m also like, what are you accomplishing by telling me that you skipped like half the chapter, or that you entirely dismiss parts of my story?…i have thought about this sooo much in trying to understand why tf i get asks like that, or why people think it’s appropriate to share those things with me, and the conclusion i can think of is that people are trying to subconsciously push me towards writing a story that THEY want by telling me the exact parts of my story that they entirely disregard/will disregard. and that makes me feel so icky, like i’m lowkey being manipulated into people pleasing people just cuz i post stuff for free. same goes for pressuring asks i get about writing more smut. those feel even more gross to me tbh, and it entirely kills my drive to write

i’m already struggling to find motivation to create stories among all the other insanity of things going on in my life. so yea words like that definitely do affect me, esp when it’s not just from one person, which i could probs write off as some internet troll, but from like 15+ different readers saying the same thing over n over n over again. and i KNOW i have so many wonderful readers n i’m endlessly grateful…but i’m starting to feel like chappell roan rn where i’m starting to realize maybe i’m just not cut out for this lmfaooo. it’s strange i’ve like literally seen people d** in real time but stan tumblr is what breaks me 💀💀 this shit is nottttt for the weak bahahah i see why so many authors leave

since i started posting here in january, i’ve dealt w people who would shame me for not posting updates at the time i said i would, i’ve dealt w people who would pressure me for updates, i’ve dealt w people who would pressure me for smut, i’ve dealt with people who have reduced my stories to nothing but smut, i’ve dealt with people who have made death threats against kickoff gojo for having commitment issues, i had a person straight up tell me they were “disappointed in the direction” of all of ch7 of kickoff, i had someone comment “he should’ve done ___ instead. will not be reading this fic anymore”, i’ve dealt w so many people belittle n disregard the whole ihm ex wife plotline. i’ve literally cried over some of these asks/comments, n i’ve felt embarrassed over some of them too. i’m just a person.

and i know i know i know i shouldnt focus on the negative interactions, i should just focus on the positive ones. but yknow how much mental real estate that takes to do? i’d consider myself to be a pretty mentally healthy person to be very honest, but even i have a hard time w doing that lmfao.

and then, to make things worse, i get scared that calling readers out for this kind of stuff will just make people fearful to interact with me in the future. and then im like damn i suck lol

in any case, i accept your apology. it’s not that deep at the end of the day i suppose, and i don’t want you to feel bad about it. there are bigger issues in this world rn than fanfiction on tumblr. also sorry i kinda used your ask to say all of this but i just wanted to share my perspective plus i’m pmsing so i’m emo lol i’m just waiting for my estrogen to rise at this point so i can feel human again n i might end up regretting posting this but anyways thanks xxx

[sunwarmed-ash]

Voters Choice Sinful Sunday

Hey cuties! i hope you enjoyed this weeks update to HOT TO GO!

I was really motivated by how many people also wanted an update to my KJR fic so I'll be posting that next sunday! (10/6)

Catch up on the first few chapters of Triangles are the strongest shape here and... well, here's a lil sneak peak for next week cuz I love yall <3 (🔞😈🔥under the cut)

“I’m so fucking tired of feeling sad,” Jamie sniffles, “I feel like all I’ve done all week is cry.” “Alright, then, maybe we could shift into something a little more fun, eh?” Keeley suggests. Roy's own curiosity is peaked. “What were you thinking,” Jamie asks, his own interest dialed into Keeley. “I was kinda thinking this,” she leans forward before connecting her lips with Jamie’s. Jamie’s mood shifts instantly and visibly. His hands raise up to hold either side of her shoulders, almost hesitant to move any closer until she, and Roy, give the okay.   It's the first time they've kissed each other since they broke up and in moments it's obvious Keeley wants to make up for lost time. Roy thought he’d be jealous, watching this happen right in front of him, but instead, he’s just really fucking turned on. 

Keeley’s the first to break the kiss but it’s only to tell Jamie,  “Show Roy how worked up you are, yeah?” Jamie whimpers pleasantly against her lips, nodding but still hiding his face behind his own hair. Shy Jamie was not a personality Roy thought the younger man possessed let alone would be willing to show in Roy’s presence. But he is not fucking complaining. He will keep his big mouth shut as long as this continues.  Keeley smirks and pushes her hand into Jamie's track pants before returning to kiss him. When she pulls his cock out Jamie breaks the kiss to groan, pushing his face into Keeley's neck.  “Fuuucck,” Roy says, And while Roy’s seen Jamie’s dick hundreds of times in the locker room, he’s never seen it quite like this. It looks even thicker in Keeley’s small, green polished hand.  “Fuck, Keeley,” Jamie groans, bucking up once into her fist but otherwise keeping his hips down.  “There’s a good boy, you can move if you need.” Keeley is much more lenient with Jamie than Roy would be. Roy would make Jamie sit still until Roy decided he could move. Make him beg for every inch he gets.  Turns out, giving Jamie what he wants isn’t a bad choice either, because Jamie is thanking her in the form of a litany of delicious sounding moans, absolutely unashamed that Roy is there. Watching him. He’s performing for Roy, which is a fact Roy forgot about until just now. Because Keeley is speaking to him.  “Don’t you think he’s good Roy?” “He’s fucking perfect,” Roy says, and he has the pleasure of watching the comment wash over Jamie.   “Please, please,” Jamie pants, biting hard into his bottom lip.   “I think you can take a bit more, can’t you babe,” Keeley hums. Jamie shakes his head with a pained whimper. He needs to cum.  “P-Please, Keeley, please I can’t-” “Oh, but you can babe! I’ve seen it. Be a good boy for us and try," Keeley taunts, and the edging command comes out in such a bubble gum-sweet tone it's doing things for Roy. He can only imagine what it’s doing for Jamie-Obvious-Shame-Kink-Tartt. Jamie’s next breath comes out wheezed but he nods. and his head drops to his chest.  “Okay. Y-Yeah…”

[lollytea]

hi i know this is so outta left field but "line without a hook" came on my playlist and i got knocked off my feet thinking abt sobbing robert hl.

my mind literally flashed back to chapter one abt how hunter felt abt willow and all kinds of shame and guilt abt it abd trying to repress a lot of it but good GOD he cares a whole lot AND AND HOW HE'S GOING TO TRY TO BE THERE FOR WILLOW BUT TRY NOT TO BURDEN HER WITH HIMSELF *AND YET HE STILL CAME TO THE DANCE BECAUSE SHE ASKED HIM!!!!!!!*

*AND WILLOW STILL HAS THIS WALL UP EVEN THO SHE DOES LIKE HIM AND ENJOYS HIS ATTENTION!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW THE DEPTH OF HIS AFFECTION!!!! BUT SHE FEELS SO ALONE AND WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING, SHE DOESNT SEE WHEN PEOPLE WANT TO REACH OUT!!!*

ok sorry for yelling with my popcorn brain i literally lost my mind a bit thinking abt them for a moment. thank u for ur time 👋

YELLING BARKING RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES

I think it was in 2021 when I played Line Without a Hook to DEATH and at some point I put it away and haven't listened in forever. It might have been on my hunlow playlist very early on but I got rid of it because it was basically white noise to my ears back then because I had played it so many times ahsbsjnk

Listened again after like a year with Sobbing Robert in mind and AAAAA!!!! MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!!!!

Hunter is just in a constant state of absolute shambles. He's trying very hard to come up with logical explanations as to why he finds Willow so overwhelming, FOR HIS OWN SANITY, WHICH IS DANGEROUSLY DWINDLING, and he is very deep in denial but ultimately he knows. He tries not to know but he knows. He knows and it's tearing him limb from limb and he doesn't know what to do about it but he knows that ignoring her isn't an option. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do with her, but he doesn't know what he would do without her. And he's scared of the future and he's scared he's gonna lose her so he's desperately grasping for whatever traces of her he has left, even if he doesn't know how to hold them properly. Bro is constantly yearning to do SOMETHING but he can't get past the mental obstacle to acknowledge what he wants to do. Category five loverboy event happening here. So he's just gonna start flinging himself into Situations just so he can be around her, wondering why the fuck he wants to be around her so badly in the first place cuz it makes him want to throw up. But he wants this, he needs this, he's just trying to satiate whatever is inside him that wants so desperately.

Willow acts like she's so wise beyond her years and she understands everything and she's got a great handle on her feelings for Hunter but she's just as in denial as he is, except in different ways. Hunter can't even bring himself to ENTERTAIN the idea that he might be in love (though he knows. He knows deep down) while Willow lets her silly little crush chill on the living room couch of her mind, because she thinks she's got the whole thing under control. She's like "I think he's cute and silly and I'm flattered that he thinks I'm pretty but I'm not interested in being anything more than friends with him" and then lets her feelings get into all kind of mischief without her supervision because she doesn't see them as an actual threat, even though they are very VERY dangerous to her current situation. She's so stupid I love her.

They are both so fundamentally lonely. They both have this great chasm of emptiness inside of them that they're trying to fill with life's many distractions, though Willow is having a better time of it than Hunter.

They've been reaching for each other for years without realizing it. Stretching their hands out as far as they will go, desperate to brush against the others fingers. But there's always a wall, a gate, a mask, a glove, a suit of armor, a shell, a tree, an assumption, a whole universe that keeps them at a distance. So many tangible and intangible obstacles at play here. It should be SO easy for them to just come together and hold hands. They are next door neighbours. They could not physically get any closer. And yet they're still strangers, and yet they still don't know each other the way they think they do. But they know enough to know that they'd LIKE to know more. And they'd be prepared to handle whatever secret the other spills. Maybe. Possibly. If their stomach can take it.

I'm sorry what were we talking about? I got lost in the debris and blurted something out. Thank you I love you, this ask made me crazy. Thinking about them constantly. So excited for the next installment where they kiss or strangle each other or whatever the fuck happens idk I haven't read it

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member has bulimia, unnies are on their way!

A/N: Heyyy, I'm coming up with a lot of stuff for you guys so I can make up for the time I'm gone lol! Sry for taking so long to post :D I hope that my friend twwicceee, who gave me this idea on Wattpad likes it! :)

The request: ohh if you want i can tell you about "bullamia" it is a eating disorder in which the person eats food but they throw it up later intentionally cuz they feel insecure about their weight and body (just like anorexia nervosa) so you can do a chapter in which the youngest 10th member is throwing up in the washroom in night and all the members noticed it so they all confront her about it!😭😭🤝 idk like if u like, just a idea💗

PS: Tysm for everyone who reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

It was well past midnight when Y/N found herself hunched over the toilet bowl in the dimly lit bathroom of their dormitory. Her stomach heaved, and she couldn't stop the tears that stung her eyes. Her secret was her tormentor, a relentless force that had her in its grip for far too long.

For months, TWICE's flower had been struggling with an eating disorder, a battle she had been silently waging against herself. Bulimia had taken hold of her life, a cruel and destructive cycle of bingeing and purging that left her feeling trapped and ashamed.

TWICE, the beloved K-pop girl group she had the privilege of being a part of, had been oblivious to her struggle. Y/N was the youngest and 10th member, a talented and vibrant young woman in her early twenties. She had always been the cheerful, supportive, and positive presence in the group, and she was determined to keep her secret hidden.

But tonight, the facade cracked. She had pushed herself too far, indulging in a binge that had left her stomach painfully full. Panic and self-loathing had set in, and she had retreated to the bathroom, desperate to purge the excess calories and shame.

As the younger girl retched into the toilet, she heard a faint noise from the hallway. The sound of footsteps, hushed whispers, and concern. Panic surged through her as she realized that she was no longer alone.

Momo had been the first to notice the maknae's absence from her room. She had been restless, unable to sleep, and a nagging feeling had led her to check on her fellow member. When she saw the bathroom light on and heard the distressing sounds from inside, her heart sank.

Quickly, Momo alerted the other members. They gathered outside the bathroom, worry etched on their faces. Jihyo, the group's leader and Y/N's omma, stepped forward and gently knocked on the door. 

Jihyo - Honey, are you okay in there?

Y/N froze, her heart pounding in her chest. She knew she couldn't hide this any longer, but she wasn't ready to face her demons. She wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet before opening the door. Her eyes were red from crying, and she avoided their concerned gazes.

Y/N - I'm fine... *mumbling while trying to sound as convincing as possible*

But the members could see through her façade. Sana, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu exchanged worried glances while Mina, who had her own history of mental health struggles, stepped forward and took her little sister's hand. 

Mina - Thank you for letting us be here with you, darling. We're always available to support you.

The floodgates opened, and Y/N couldn't hold back her tears any longer. She felt a mix of relief and fear as she finally admitted her struggle. 

Y/N - I... I have a problem. I've been struggling with bulimia.

Nayeon, ever perceptive, reached out and placed a gentle hand on her kid's shoulder. 

Nayeon - My love, you don't have to pretend with us. We're here for you.

Over the next few days, TWICE's sunshine began to open up to her fellow older sisters about her battle with bulimia. She shared the painful details of her struggles, the shame that had kept her silent, and the overwhelming fear of judgment. The members listened, offered their love and support, and encouraged her to seek professional help.

Jihyo took charge of the situation, researching treatment options and finding a therapist who specialized in eating disorders. Y/N was initially hesitant, but with the unwavering support of her TWICE family, she agreed to attend therapy sessions.

The road to recovery was not easy. The youngest faced the harsh reality of confronting her eating disorder head-on, and it was a painful journey filled with setbacks and tears. But with each step she took, she knew she wasn't alone. Her unnies were her pillars of strength, offering their love and encouragement every step of the way.

They also made changes in their daily routines to support Y/N. Mealtimes became a time for bonding, not just for nourishment. They cooked together, shared stories, and ensured that their little star felt comfortable and supported during meals. It was a small but significant change that made a world of difference to TWICE's angel.

Months passed, and Y/N's progress was slow but steady. She attended therapy diligently, and her therapist helped her unpack the emotional baggage that had contributed to her eating disorder. She learned healthier ways to cope with stress and anxiety, and her support system within TWICE was always there to cheer her on.

One evening, as the sun set and cast a warm glow over their dormitory, TWICE gathered in the living room for a movie night. Y/N, who had made significant progress in her recovery, sat comfortably among her friends. She smiled as they laughed and enjoyed each other's company.

Nayeon and Jihyo, who had taken on the roles of the maknae's confidants and protectors, wrapped their arms around the younger member's shoulders. 

Nayeon - You've come a long way, luv. We're so proud of you.

Y/N nodded, her eyes shining with gratitude. 

Y/N - I couldn't have done it without all of you, unnies. You saved my life.

Sana, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu chimed in with words of encouragement and love, offering their unwavering support. It was clear that their bond had transformed into something even stronger, a sisterhood that could weather any storm.

As they settled in to watch the movie, Y/N felt a warmth in her heart that went beyond the comforting glow of the room. She had faced her darkest demons with the unwavering support of her TWICE family, and she knew that, together, they could overcome anything. And as the unnies looked at their petite fighter's expression, they shared a single thought:

I am proud of our dear maknae.

And the writer behind the screen had something similar in mind:

I am proud of my dear readers.

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there is something wrong, ty for reading <3

[jusst-you-race]

ooh!!! absolutely disregard if u dont want it on ur blog but for the regency au fic recs (I believe this is regency era anyway): https://archiveofourown.org/works/58747300/chapters/149707186

a haasbands fic of stable boy!kevin x prince!nico, feat some... angst in the form of hanahaki disease, though we don't know the extent yet cuz ongoing, just based on tags. there's some background lestappen as well but again idk the extent to which they will appear, right now they're more for world building/exposition i think 🙂‍↕️ i'm such a sucker for historical au's ughhh

I will not be disregarding lovely anon this sounds like a delight!!! I am ALWAYS on the lookout for more Haasbands focused fics (why are they always the background pairing??? pretend I’m not actively writing them as a background pairing lmao)!!! This sounds very very fun and I am adding it to my to be read list immediately!!!

Also all historical aus are fantastic even if they aren’t strictly regency (in fact my greatest shame is that regency is one of my least favourite eras fashion wise for womenswear I’m a fraud… I just don’t think empire waistlines are very flattering and other eras are so much cooler)

Link to fic

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Some strange facts about some random anon like me!

I keep checking everyday those past few months when the update came when I still didn't find your tumbler account so I didn't have any knowledge of what was going on but I didn't stop doing that even though I found your Tumblr account everyday because apparently it became a habit.. checking and refreshing my browser page to see if getting updates was the best thing that happens to me with the chapters .. like chapter 8 I think got released on my birthday so I was very happy that I think I got it as a gift from you even though you didn't knew! So even if you didn't know that fact thank you ^-^!

I keep re-reading the parts where Golden cheese is angry because that was kinda a little attractive!.. You made it so well that I was surprised, just a question.. were you getting possessed when you were writing golden cheese or something because you did her so well lol!

I like her firm and dominating.. I just want to imagine it and I'm already getting sleepy due to the high overlord in my mind XD..

Like reader share some of that light- ahem!.. went overboard there..but what I said was true.. I got attach to golden cheese even with the lack of content when I found your fic :))...

I'm happy and kinda sad about the fic ending now.. like I mean I have been here since chapter 3-4.. even though I think that's not kinda long..I think?.. I basically got attached since that's too long that I will eventually get attached! Even if it's just writing! I waited for it.. I waited even if my time was wasted, I waited and it was worth it.. I was happy!.. I'm happy reader have found golden cheese cookie again at ending 2.. now I don't know where I should find another golden cheese fic again because apparently.. no one write her much since all the attention went to Burnt cheese due to his natural attractive nature with that long hair..

I would eat and gamble all that yummy food that people would write fics about golden cheese because it's the most delicious thing I can have in crk for awhile.. since I recently just join because I was raging at the lag months ago so-..

Take care by the way! I hope this brightens your mood like the other anons!

AAAAAA, h-holy crap! Yeah, this did make me happy! Thank you so much! I was already feeling a lot better about myself today, so you didn't have to do anything to cheer me up, s-so don't worry about that.....I-I was just a bit stuck in my head yesterday....^^;

Y-yeah, it's a shame that she doesn't get a lotta X Reader fics....I checked that tag recently, and the whole thing was me, like ONE other fic, and some older compilation stuff from pre-her release (when most of her characterization was just people speculating cuz we knew so little about her). She deserves so much more! Sh-she's just SUCH a cool character....! B-but sadly, I did see it coming, cuz back during her update, i-it really did immediately seem like Burnt got all the simps....I-it felt like I was in my own corner.....Wh-which is why it's such a pleasant surprise to me that my fic's gotten as much love as it has!

I-I do have ideas for other fics about her, and....i-if I ever do get to those, it'll probably be just for the sake of giving my fellow simps more food, cuz.....th-there's so little of it.....>///////>

A-also, the whole "it felt like you were possessed by the character while you were writing them" is SUUUUUCH a good compliment to give a fic writer, you have no idea....I-I really had so much fun writing her after I got the hang of it, so hearing that I did that good a job makes me feel very.....very good.....Cuz, I DID try to make her as in-character as I could, even if I got a bit indulgent in the last few chapters......X//////D

R-really, thanks so much for sticking with me for so long....( If you're telling the truth that chapter 8 was posted on your birthday, then wow, that's VERY lucky, cuz that was a really important chapter, for....o-obvious reasons, pffff.....) I-it's good to know that I was able to keep someone's interest for this long....Now, if CRK sticks true to their word and we DO see her again in canon soon, the game'll do the work for you while I take a rest from writing for a while! We'll see when that happens tho....So....y-yeah, thank you....!

[joltai-showa]

a bit more of a serious post today, but i was scrolling through some stuff before sleep and came across some certain sentiments which i would like to talk about

not outright reposting cuz not too sure if this person would be okay with me doing it, so i'll just say what i think should be said

please don't be ashamed of your hyperfixations. thinking of them and engaging with them is and always should be something fun and enjoyable for you. yes, they come and go, but the memories of them stay with you, the joy that you felt from it will be with you even if you change fandoms and many years have passed.

i've been in many fandoms over almost 10 years, for some of them I can even barely remember the names of the characters in them, but I still remember sending tons of pics of one same cutesy boy to my bestie, drooling over him and how we both joked about of current hyperfixations. since I was 14 I was studiying in some of the best schools in the country and proceeded to do a double degree bachelors. life has been stressful as shit, i am in my early twenties and already have a ton of gray hair, but unironically it was my hyperfixations that helped me to get through that all. i don't regret being unhinged about one evil guy for a year or two or five, because it made me happy in the moment. maybe i will no longer scroll all those thousands of pics of the same dude over and over, but they will remind me of the fun I had, no matter how weird or "cringe" I would get about it.

kill the inner cringe. be free to enjoy the moment. and who knows, one day this hyperfixation might just grasp you in its hold again. it did happen to me a few times :) keeping interest in the same piece of media is not easy, especially if there is barely any content on it. i try to juggle a few interests at the same time and have fun with each of them, it really helps with the possible burnout

p.s. and to the author of the tags, because i think the fics mentioned might concern my works: nope, you aren't cringe. long thorough comments are my (and I guess any authors'?) absolute favorites, because it not only shows that someone took the time to read through my work, but they REALLY resonated with it, they actually cared about a lot of stuff you've spent time putting into the work. you aren't stupid for showing your love for the work, in fact, you're already better than a lot of other people for actively engaging with the fic. i am not trying to shame people simply leaving kudos on the work, it's nice to see their count grow, but after a few days they turn into a single number that is simply there. comments, on the other hand, can be read and reread repeatedly, they're my little stars of honor that truly make my day better. and your comments are not deranged, it's lovely that you can write so much about many many scenes in a single chapter, because personally, I would not be able to do this, so you're awesome for that and a treasure for any author.

p.p.s. i also tend to remember "regulars" under my chapters, so i do get pretty worried that something might have happened to them irl if they don't interact with the new chapter for longer than usual :( you don't have to write extensive commentary every time, you can leave a short list of moments that you liked and maybe return at a later date with a longer comment if you wish so.

tl;dr all comments are valid