#which is a cool & easy social rule. I respect women all day

[bytebun]

im friends with a lotta guys who I guess could come off as mansplaining but to me it is infodumping. n we are friends because of this

[hetalia-headcanons-and-scenarios]

General headcanons: Axis

Hiii, this is my first post :-)). I'll be posting my general headcanons for the main characters (so allies and axis), if y'all want for some other characters I'll do it no problem. In my headcanons I'll put mainly, sexuality, age, professions (or in some cases if they are students), and random headcanons as in to fit in some sort of human au, it is mainly for me to use as a referent while writing.

I'm sorry if some characters sound too out of themselves I'll try to do my best.

(also even if I assign sexualities don't take them too much into account, as I can mold them for different scenarios)

Germany - Ludwig Beilschmidt:

- totally a gym gay. I feel like I don't need to explain myself for this one.

- the general rule is for him to be 19, but honestly I kind of see him as a little bit older, like 23 or smth

- fresh out of uni, works at his father's company, and is in training to take his place

- really closeted, mostly for himself... like he doesn't know anything about himself, he is totally clueless

- everyone else he is close to tho, they know.

- really shy, which manifests in him being very socially clumsy and awkward

- hard worker and a great leader even with his shyness he manages to be very good as a leader

- he just hates any other social interaction

- most of his dogs are adopted and he takes pride in it

- lives alone, he could live with his parents, but he hates to be dependent so he decided to move out as soon as he could

- visits them a lot, because he loves his parents

- grandpa's favorite

- volunteers at a dog shelter

- virgin

Italy - Feliciano Vargas:

- bi, with a very strong woman preference

- 21 years old, last year of university

- finishing his last year as a fine arts major

- his mother is very famous in the art world so he has almost a place guaranteed in that world

- mama's boy and proud

- very passive in life, he just wants to enjoy the moment and not think about the future

- surprisingly he doesn't like coffee unless it's with a lot of creams and milk (like those who barely look like they have any coffee)

- party boy, but he is very classy and only goes to fancy-ass parties

- daddy's money helps him live his life

- cat person

- extremely flirty bisexual stereotype

- a bit of a fake bitch, if he doesn't like you you won't know, ut he'll be roasting you to his brother all the time

Japan - Kiku Honda:

- biromantic ace

- 26 years old

- he is a famous mangaka, but nobody really knows who he is

- very private about his life and reclusive

- very polite and kind, even with people he doesn't like

- goes out quite often, he just doesn't go where the people are

- enjoys walks in the forest and rainy days

- he prefers traditional art over digital art

- watches a lot of anime

- doesn't know how to talk to women

- extremely shy and quiet

- doesn't like noise

- he hates the idea of sex and feels extremely dirty thinking about it

- like he doesn't even enjoy porn or hentai

- he does crave a romantic relationship but he finds it very difficult to find a partner

- has a lot of self-esteem issues

South Italy - Lovino Vargas

- straight bastard

- 23 years old

- he is the inheritor of his family business, but he is for the moment unemployed and enjoying life as a rich bitch

- he is pretty lazy and is used to have things go his way

- but he also has a complex because his brother is the favorite child

- gets away with too much, like how does he even do it?

- is addicted to coffee

- loves women and hates men, nobody knows why, he's been like that ever since he was a baby

- art collector

- has tried to be an actor, but it didn't work

- that made him feel worse about everything

- also a party boy, any party is a good party for Lovino

- he is not fake like Feliciano, he'll talk badly about you in front of you and with his brother

- they have kind of a weird relationship even though they keep in touch

- isn't scared of physical fights (he will fight you, careful)

- has a tiny dog

- thinks that cats are mean

Spain - Antonio Carriedo

- gay. himbo

- 27 years old

- primary school teacher

- all the little girls (and boys) have a crush on him

- as well as some of the teaching staff

- he is just a nice and attractive man

- respects women and is an advocate for feminism (even if he doesn't understand everything about it)

- loves children and wants to be a dad (even a stay at home dad)

- isn't the brightest man alive but he tries

- extremely outgoing

- has friends almost everywhere he goes

- enjoys the little things in life

- it is rare to see him angry, but those who have rarely speak about it

- has some boundaries problems

- he is the nicest person you'll probably know

- easy to trick because he has a lot of faith in people

Prussia - Gilbert Beilschmidt

- bisexual

- 27 years old

- currently unemployed due to health problems

- sickly child, and sickly adult

- he has low defenses and as a kid already knew about it

- still, he is very cool and nice

- has a high self-esteem

- mama's boy

- extremely outgoing and a party boy

- even if he is living in the shadow of his younger brother he is still a very good big brother to Ludwig

- sincere

- runs a meme page

- he also is considering starting a gaming channel

- has some commitment issues due to knowing he is going to die young

- so he has had a lot of relationships that have lasted two weeks or less

- he isn't scared of going out of his comfort zone

- he fights a lot with people online

- he loves being right and is a bit headstrong

[soulvomit]

Do girls still get this lecture about how to act toward boys, or am I from another time (or planet)?

Question for women in general, and anyone who would have experienced hetero female social pressures... Did you ever get the “Boys Don’t Like It” speech? Especially from older adults, or a helpful friend? I almost feel like “Boys Don’t Like It” is a huge socialization thing, it’s like - you’re given a list of things that are assumed to be normative female behavior (often in an essentialist way) and then told that your “normative female behaviors” are basically Too Much for men. (”The Rules” is actually Boys Don’t Like It, the Book.) I feel like I started getting this speech in my pre-teen years. It’s basically the list of things you’re told, by people around you, that you need to do in order to get or keep a boyfriend... but it’s often presented in terms of behaviors you must suppress in order to not get dumped. For example: don’t stalk him, don’t gossip, don’t talk to his friends about your relationship, don’t talk to YOUR friends overmuch about it either, don’t let being too much of a hopeless romantic be part of your persona, don’t call him 50 times a day, don’t act too impulsive (because it might seem “crazy”), don’t express your emotions too much, don’t be the first to say “I love you,” don’t try to make a relationship happen, and if you break up, just be cool about it and let it die.  It’s often framed in terms of suppressing signs of toxic femininity - always framed in terms of overwhelming neediness (and often presented as something that all young women innately feel) - in order to appeal to men steeped in toxic masculinity. Did anyone get this programming? When I was dating guys (because I dated guys before I dated anyone else) as a teenager and young 20something, “Boys Don’t Like It” seemed like it was a huge set of messages that people generally advised young women about.  And then, The Rules was published in 1995, and it was basically Boys Don’t Like It: The Book. The thing with having gotten so much Boys Don’t Like It messaging, is that lots of the advice was *not* transferable to other populations even though most of the things that Boys Don’t Like are generally “don’t be an asshole.”  I ask because I’m talking about socially acceptable abuse patterns, and how we learn what abuse is, and how we learn not to abuse others, and how the terms around gendered abuse are different (to the degree that many things that we recognize as abuse in men, we don’t recognize as abuse in women). There are a lot of rules that we get told in the “Boys Don’t Like It” category that are just misogynist - or they assume that all non-gay boys or men are trying to date the same kind of woman. Plus, in real life: what these boys don’t like, those other boys (or even just one specific boy) may tolerate or enjoy.

But there are a bunch of rules that I got told in various Boys Don’t Like It speeches when I was younger, that are basically about boundaries. They are about emotional regulation skills, appropriate boundaries, and self-care skills, but lots of these “rules” are about not acting abusive or controlling. They’re about things that would be considered abusive in today’s non-gendered framework around abuse and inappropriate dating behavior, but weren’t described as abuse in the 80s because no man would have described himself as being abused. Here is what’s weird in a lot of this framing and why “Boys Don’t Like It” training may not actually teach someone not to be an abuser (and may even reinforce abusive dynamics in female-only culture spaces).  I was shitty in my own relationships but the ways in which I’d been taught to relate to men, didn’t actually solve any of the underlying problems. I didn’t actually start to see many of these behaviors as self-centered or even abusive, and I didn’t really develop a solid working empathy toward people experiencing these behaviors, until I was on the other side of them myself and dealing with gendered abuse patterns. Part of the problem is how very *gendered* Boys Don’t Like It advice tends to be, so if you’re someone who has a lot of these traits then it’s easy to assume that the problem is boys/men, and that their inability to handle your behavior is Toxic Masculinity, and it’s not you, it’s never you. In many cases where it’s offered by someone with relatively normie, conventional gender viewpoints, you’re just learning that men see certain behavior tropes as potential red flags, but not that they’re actually bad behaviors when applied to most people.

The list of behaviors is often framed in terms of things that are innate to women, that women want from other women, and that women want from men but normatively socialized masculine men aren’t willing to give and can’t ever be expected to give. The sexist assumption here is that somehow women are unhinged, bottomless pools of unquenchable neediness and men never are and simultaneously, women also always know better than men do about relationships, and that the reason why men don’t meet our needs isn’t because those kinds of needs are fundamentally unquenchable (which they are).  And if you internalize Boys Don’t Like It without actually deconstructing it into gender-neutral anti-abuse socialization, you can come away thinking that 1) other women like these behaviors just fine, or 2) boys SHOULD like these things because women know better than they do about relationships. (And both of these things are wrong.) The irony in this is that the way things are framed, it was always framed to me as if being a possessive, controlling partner who manipulated my partner with my emotions, was actually something I and other girls really, really wanted to do because it’s in our innate nature. There was also this cultural assumption that only men have to keep working on themselves and keep growing up; the assumption is that all women are already at the pinnacle of social and emotional maturity.  And that if I wanted to find someone who didn’t require me to respect their boundaries or require me to have boundaries of my own, then only other women would offer me the kind of all-consuming toxic relationship I actually desired.

[ericdeggans]

How My Love for Sean Connery and Bond Led to a Serious Case of White Guy Hero Infatuation Syndrome

Like a lot of people all over the world, I have long considered myself a stone Sean Connery fan.

I often recited the juiciest dialogue bits from his Oscar-winning turn as a beat cop-turned crusader in he Untouchables (in addition to the speech everyone quotes, I loved how he told Eliot Ness he knew he was a treasury agent without seeing his badge because “who would claim to be that who was not?”) I watched the painfully clumsy 1986 B-movie Highlander mostly for his charming turn as Egyptian (!) immortal Juan Sánchez-Villalobos Ramírez.

And, of course his work as James Bond always set the ultimate example for urbane cool. Which explains why I often felt the theme song thrumming in my head whenever I wore a stylish suit or hopped off a plane in a cool city. For men from the generation before mine, he practically defined the sophisticated, stylish machismo found in the pages of Esquire and Playboy.  

For these reasons and more, I have always loved the rogueish Scotsman as an actor. And yet, when news of his death at age 90 spread across the world, I couldn’t bear to pay tribute to him on my social media pages, until now.

That’s because his passing highlighted my problem with a particular malady. I call it White Guy Hero Infatuation Syndrome. And I have suffered from it for many years.

Put simply, my fan’s brain knows that Connery’s landmark performances were the stuff of film legend – especially as Bond. Cool, authoritative, suavely menacing and mostly unflappable, his take on a secret agent who knows the best suit designers nearly as well as the best pistol manufacturers set the template for escapist espionage fantasies over the next half century and beyond.

His first line as the character – “Bond. James Bond.” – has become pop culture legend.

But as a media critic, I also have to contend with James Bond’s status as a relentless sexist and a British agent who walked the world as if it was made to be ruled by wealthy, capable white men. Watch him slap the behind of a pretty blonde who was massaging him poolside in 1964’s Goldfinger when CIA agent Felix Leiter turns up for a chat. “Man talk,” he tells her dismissively, sending her out of the scene.

Or check out how he treats Quarrel, the bug-eyed Black man who acts as a “fixer” for him in Jamaica during the first Bond film, 1962’s Dr. No. Scrambling across a beach to avoid the bad guys’ goons, Bond turns to Quarrel and tells him “fetch my shoes” -- as if he were his butler, rather than a local ally helping him avoid thugs with automatic weapons.

And there’s loads of scenes where Bond forces himself on women who quickly succumb to his charms – like Honor Blackman’s character in 1964′s Goldfinger – perpetuating a dangerous myth that a man can earn a woman’s love by pushing her into being romantic with him. (Or that a dismissive, vaguely annoyed tone with women – treating them like impertinent children or misguided simpletons – is also, somehow, irresistible to them.)    

When Connery played Bond, he played a character who was the embodiment of white privilege. He made it look sexy, virtuous and necessary – the natural state of things in a 1960s-era world that, outside the comfortable confines of Bond’s make-believe spy games, seemed to be coming apart at the seams. But in the America of 2020, it’s a symbol of how media can teach you to accept a limiting legend.

And this was a fantasy I bought into eagerly. As a kid, my mom and I bonded over the heroic white guys she loved on film and TV, mostly from westerns. Just this past December, as she was fighting cancer and months before she would succumb to an infection, we sat and watched Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, Kevin Costner and Robert Duvall save the day too many times to count.

As I got older, I’d make fun of all the misogyny, racism and white centering going on in these shows – gibes which my mother, a proud Black woman who loved her people and culture, tolerated with a weary smile. “These are my guys,” she’d say playfully, swatting aside any idea that there was a deeper impact from gorging on stories which treated these virtuous white men as the noble, natural center of every story. I wish the issue were that simple; it often isn’t.

For me, it wasn’t just a problem with Connery. As a kid, I loved Eastwood’s 1970s-era Dirty Harry movies, where the taciturn cop with a Magnum pistol cut through all the nonsense to nab the bad guy. Same with Bronson’s Death Wish films, where the solution to rampant street crime wasn’t better policing, but a taciturn, middle class white guy with a gun shooting down street criminals. It’s a potent fantasy, especially if you’ve ever had to deal with the numbing bureaucracy of real-life law enforcement or the brutal violation of being a crime victim.

It wasn’t until I got older that I realized many of those bad guys Harry Callahan was hunting were young hippies and Black people – the kind of folks who, in real life when Dirty Harry was released in 1971, were trying to get America to face how it was chewing up poor, young men in an unwinnable, unnecessary war in Vietnam. It was a prime example of “copaganda” – convincing the audience that the excesses Detective Callahan committed to nail a person the audience already knew was a serial killer, was justified.

Even now, I wonder: Can I watch these movies and appreciate why they are thrilling, while rejecting the tropes that present a white male-centered world as just and appropriate? In my work on race and media, I’m often telling audiences that people who insist they are not affected by media subtexts are often the most affected by them. Couldn’t that be true for me, when it comes to heroes like Eastwood, Bronson and Connery?

(One caveat: Sitting in an arena in Tampa, watching Eastwood give his infamously strange “empty chair” speech at the Republican National Convention in 2012, broke me of my affection for his work. I have avoided watching new Clint Eastwood films since then. Click here to read my report on the empty chair speech for the Tampa Bay Times.)

In his later years, Connery denied or walked back quotes where he seemed to approve of physically hitting women in real life. His roles in films like Highlander, The Untouchables, Hunt for Red October, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen often featured him playing the older mentor to younger white guy heroes portrayed by the likes of Harrison Ford, Alec Baldwin and Kevin Costner.

And so, as the question of Connery’s legacy in show business arises, the fanboy part of me is at war with the media critic. One side of me is lost in the absolute coolness of the suave masculinity he so often symbolized, particularly as the world’s most successful secret agent.

The other is painfully aware of the inequalities and oppression such portrayals enabled, and how much they may feed our real life fantasies for a powerful white male savior to set things right, even now. 

Especially now.

And saying these characters were a product of their flawed times somehow doesn’t seem enough.

This is a tough column to write, and not just because there are so many fans who want to focus on the best moments of Sean Connery’s life now that he’s gone. It’s difficult because he was a personal hero of mine for a long while – and remains one of my favorite performers – even as I acknowledge the terribly male-centric and white-superior ethos he embodied in so many roles.

This may sound like disrespectful nitpicking to hardcore fans and family. It’s never easy to sit with the more uncomfortable aspects of a great artist’s legacy. And the time after his death has been filled with heartfelt tributes to Connery, a man of great talent and no-nonsense sensibilities who was respected and loved by a great many people who worked with him.

Sometimes the media critic’s job requires being a buzzkill; insisting the public pay attention to troubling aspects of a film or TV show that we would all just rather sit back and enjoy. Because part of unwinding the effect of past portrayals is acknowledging their power in the present day.

Which means, every time I watch Connery stride to a baccarat table in Goldfinger, Dr. No, or Diamonds Are Forever, archly demanding a precisely constructed alcoholic beverage, I also have to remind myself of the damage done by too many characters like that offering too constricted a vision of what a hero looks and acts like. And I suggest you do the same.

It's the only way to balance a comforting myth with the reality of how that legend can, unwittingly, teach us to cling to ideas that ultimately hold us back.      

[everydayanth]

Question re: cultural appropriation: I am Vampirically WhiteTM (I combust/evaporate if exposed to sunlight over 5 seconds), but I sometimes do *all* my hair in tiny, uneven plaits that don't hug my scalp. Answers on various forums seem to only distinguish between big/sparse braids & Black hairstyles, so there isn't a nuanced answer for, "This style isn't Cornrows but I *do* use all my hair." [1/2]

The intention *isn't* to cuddle up as closely to traditionally African styles as possible, but rather so I can take the braids out 3 days later to poof up like a lion/Princess Merida. Humans are a braiding, weaving species, I really do like doing this thing, & I'm not always of the mindset that just b/c something *might* be problematic, I should just bend to my anxieties/White Guilt. Am I still sending the wrong message with my style? [2/2]

Honestly, I have to start by saying I’m a white female, so the action/consequence of this process holds no harm over me and therefore my answer cannot speak for the people (black, specifically women) being potentially appropriated. I can only speak of my own development and understanding of appropriating black culture, specifically with hair.

I grew up in a “black neighborhood” (a problematic concept in itself) and in school, we sat in a train-line of girls during read-aloud and braided each others’ hair. I learned to braid black hair by 2nd grade. We were kids, we saw the differences in our phenotypic traits, but we adapted and didn’t mind much. One time a friend tried oiling my hair and it did not end well, lol, I was a greasy mop the whole day. Braiding was culturally relevant to us as friends, but also to me as an individual: my mom would braid my hair on her good days. In the summer, she would put my hair in many tiny loose braids, similar to what you described, not cornrows, but small braids because it was hot and we didn’t have ac and it was an easy solution. We were judged accordingly based on uniform and size and I distinctly remember the day I learned about the use of a long pinky nail, lol. I didn’t think about it much until I got to high school, then college and studied social science and talked to POC friends there and really began to understand the problems. 

It’s not the act of wearing your hair in a particular style, we humans learn from each other, we copy, we reproduce, we recreate, and we do it for decoration and efficiency or usefulness. Every culture plays with hair and braids and for every example of appropriation, someone has a counter example perceived to be “their ancestors” or some sort of genetic heritage (”I’m 1/32 Native”) giving them rights to partake in a specific kind of decoration or practice. But that’s not the issue. The issue is that when black people, specifically black women, wear their hair in braids, they are treated disrespectfully by our society, while when white people, specifically women, wear locs or braids, they are often rewarded for being worldly or exotic or interesting. 

There is not a common consensus; “black people” are not made of a uniform opinion, and whether something is problematic or offensive varies from one person to another. Appropriation, however, is a little easier to spot because it comes with a reward to some but with a punishment to the people who owned, initiated, or historically created or utilized a thing in the same way.

Black hair and hairstyles have been historically degraded, and its easy to think we live in a better world, but when Kim Kardashian wears “boxer braids” it becomes a trend, while Sasha Obama’s braids were criticized or attributed to past trends rather than her own rich ancestry. When Zendaya shows up in beautiful dreads and dressed to the nines, she is met with racist remarks, while Christina Aguilera’s were considered an “urban” phase.

Appropriation comes from capitalizing off something that isn’t yours, or that you can remove from your identity should the oppressor challenge you (thus why “white-passing” is often part of the conversation). Actively fighting against it means educating yourself on histories of oppression and abuse, modern social perspectives of white privilege, and what we do with all those pieces. 

Black girls are sent home from school or suspended all the time for wearing their hair naturally, in traditional styles, or in styles like weaves that make black hair easier to manage in a non-African climate. Loose braids worn by black girls are still condemned in schools today, while white girls back from Jamaica go unpunished and their braids and beads remain a symbol of money, experience, and privilege. Black men, as well as black LGBTQ+ individuals, are also judged harshly by different (often white-dominated) groups for their own styles and are definitely part of the conversation. 

Understanding the role of hair in culture and seeing the ongoing inequality is the most important thing we can do. Ideally, someday, we live in a world where we can all do what we want so long as it doesn’t harm another person, but we do not live there, and BIPOC are much more subjected to policing of their images, bodies, and especially hair than white people. 

Hair dressers learn white hair by default, not both, most kids never learn about different hair textures or the evolutionary purpose for the differences, they simply learn that one majority group can do whatever they like without negative reinforcement, while the other must adhere to strict rules to emulate the look of the majority with chemicals, expensive tools, and treatments, or be mocked, judged, degraded, and not able to participate in society without fear or ridicule of their personhood, their bodies, their natural selves, as well as the potential loss of job security, violence, or harsher social punishments, like ostracization, being jailed, or murdered by police without consequence. How a majority identifies an “other” has historically included hair texture and style as well as skin color.

Personally, I think intent matters. I don’t braid my hair anymore as a public style. Sure, I braid clumps of it while watching TV or hanging out around the house if I want something of a uniform wave (my mom has type 3 and my dad has type 2 and I got a franken-head of both lol), but I don’t wear many braids as a style out in public. Wearing braids as a young kid made me look like the girls in my class, it connected me to the people around me, and I was subjected to judgement by the black moms based on quality (at least those who spoke up, again, I was a child). I was blending, but when I got to high school, I realized that wearing braids brought an attention with it - oh, you’re interesting, or pretentious, but for my POC friends, employers made them remove braids. They heard condescending things like “your hair is too ghetto” while I began to hear that I was the “ghetto friend, wow so cool and cultured and street smart.” It was always insulting, but one is shittier (you know which one) because it is only condescending, and seeks to erase culture and judges based on racist biases.

If we normalize black hairstyles through popular trends, that seems like a good thing, right? But if white people are the ones normalizing it, then the agency of black people has been taken away from the black communities and restored through a white-savior complex. Not free will or choice, but through the appropriation of their own culture which then replaces the act of demonstrating culture (like wearing braids) as an act of the oppressor mocking and being praised. 

I know or plenty of white girls who wore braids or dreads or black hairstyles as a counter-culture identifier, in the way of popular artists and celebrities, but also activists and stoners appropriating Rastafarian culture. This makes black culture a counter-culture instead of an aspect of American culture or black culture within America that is respected and valued inherently. It otherizes, fetishizes, and tokenizes black culture, takes advantage of the current racist system and white privilege/bias, and gains an aesthetic. That is an intent to appropriate for social gains, and it’s all over the music industry and Hollywood. 

At the end of the day, I don’t think my opinion here can matter, I’m not harmed by your action. Braids are braids and I have a... not-normal history of exposure and love of black hair that most white girls don’t, but even then, I had to grow and listen and understand the nuances of my environment and the society around it. Is it different wearing styles in the middle of nowhere with no social interactions vs. posting on social media or interacting in society? Yeah, I think it is.

So I suppose the sum of the parts is:

Are you benefitting socially from wearing your hair this way? If so, then yeah, that’s sucky for the BIPOC people being pushed down for doing the same and is harmful appropriation. How you measure that seems to depend on intent, so the bias of wanting to keep doing something you like has to be accounted for. 

Is your intent to fit an aesthetic? If so, yeah, definitely a problem. 

Reflect on why you like doing this, what is it you gain or feel or imbibe or get out of the experience in the first place? I’d say at the end of the day, know the history of oppression that exists in America and around the world. Being aware and able to identify appropriation in media, pop culture, and everyday life, as well as the history of it, allows you to be an ally.

And finally, do you listen to what people are saying?

If/when people say things about your hair, understand that you are a social exception to the style and address it. I do think there is a responsibility to engage in these conversations when we ride the line of these grey areas, like when culture is shared with us, to what extent we participate and own it is 100% dependent on that relationship. Be willing to hear black people if they say it is uncomfortable, listen to what they mean, have a conversation about it and be willing to let go of a thing you want if that is the feedback you get.

I think a lot of appropriation comes from the denial of history and the ignorance of oppression. If Kim K made a statement that said “these aren’t boxer braids, they are cornrows, worn by African American women for centuries, mocked and ridiculed by white culture, but have been an efficient way to manage African textured hair in the new climate environment of the Americas when forced here as slaves. Many were forcibly shaven, but for those who were allowed to express themselves in small subtle ways as slaves, through jim crow, and even today, the decoration and design of cornrows was and is incredibly meaningful.” That’s a different conversation about appropriation, that’s using privilege and platform without placating or denying the experiences of others to educate and address appropriation, rather than solely profiting off the attention and claiming to create a “trend.” Black hair is beautiful and should be appreciated and allowed to be as bold or big as an individual wants it to be. 

Hair is one of the coolest, most useful phenotypic traits of thermoregulation in humans/primates, and science still has a few questions yet to research regarding the evolution of different textures and colors. Your own hair texture can change over time, as you grow, especially in women, depending on hormones, especially through pregnancy, nutrition, and chemical treatments like chemotherapy, as well as genetics, and even environmental changes in water hardness, haircare routine and treatment materials. 

With slavery, migrations, immigrations, and other historic and contemporary movements of humans comes the issues of adaption and change to fit the new environment, fighting forced assimilation, colonization, denial of cultural expression, and active racism. We need to be able to talk about these aspects of race in society and listen if and when people say what we are doing is harmful. I think the most important thing to do is educate ourselves on the purpose, history, and meaning of a thing, particularly if we are gaining positive attention from it while others suffer for it. Talk to people of color around you who are willing to offer an opinion, and listen to them. Research the history and speak up when you see the double standard in practice. 

My line is here: if I can find evidence of a POC being criticized for a style (and it’s not my natural hair), I’m not going to wear that style in public or on social media, but I am going to praise it, and criticize those racist comments degrading or demeaning it, I will champion it and demand schools do away with discriminating hair policies, and ask my library to spend money on children’s books about black hair, and do the work of finding black people voicing their opinions, or having a vulnerable and authentic conversation with a friend, then listen and make a judgement from there. If the consensus is that the style is harmful and you continue to wear it, then yeah I’d say that’s a pretty bad message that says: I just don’t care, I want to do this so I will. 

This follows a moral judgement for me: if you love someone and they tell you a thing you do is actively harming them and show you evidence of the harm (as in: it’s not just annoying, but actually harmful to them), but you continue to participate in the thing, that’s not love. I can’t fully picture the specific style, and I don’t know your intent or if/how you gain from the style, so I’m having a hard time forming a full opinion. Is this a style that has been addressed by black communities as harmful? Is it a few different styles put together? Are you in a diverse place, are you criticized for the look, is it even a look to you? 

Personally, I’d say it rides too close to the line for my own comfort and I wouldn’t be wearing a multi-braid style in public (as in more than two, I rock the french-braid pigtails while hiking because its easier to find ticks), but again, I’m not someone who would be being harmed by it. I often try to resist judgement of strangers’ hair unless I know them and their background or platform, because I don’t know their culture, ancestry, or heritage, so I don’t hold others in society to the same standard as myself.

I’d love to hear other peoples’, particularly POC, opinions and experiences with hair and appropriation. 

If there are a few un-uniform braids, is it different than many uniform loose braids, what about compared to cornrows, where is your personal line? Is it different from your social line? How would you judge or hold people accountable in society?

P.s. Thanks for asking and trying to learn more about the potential social impact you are having. I think that’s a great step toward a more equal world that can appreciate culture without taking advantage of others. It sounds like you’re trying to do your research to learn more about whether your action is having a negative consequence, and I appreciate you taking the time to be vulnerable and research and question yourself. I think that also has to be rewarded.

[vagrantblvrd]

Got any jeremwood ideas rattling around your brain? I've been craving battle buddies (lately, but also always), smooches ideally

You know, friend? I’ve had Battle Buddies in the back of my brain a lot recently and like nothing for them to do? But then in the shower this morning I had an Idea.

These two idiots working for their respective agencies or units and have the Worst Bosses whether through sheer incompetence or design. (Laziness or greed and not their problem if some asshole agents/operatives bit it on their watch. Hell, might be for the best if they do, if the WB is corrupt or working for the Enemy whoever that is.)

Ryan, well he’s in a Bad Place because some missions that Went Wrong and his name’s not worth much in their world anymore, right? Everyone thinks he’s either the worst kind of jinx with how many missions/operations go to shit when he’s around or he’s on the Enemy’s payroll. (Whoever that may be.)

Jeremy?

Young and stupid and got into some shit he shouldn’t have and it was this or jail and for whatever reason this seemed like the better deal. (Tell that to his scars or nightmares or shortened life-span whenever that shitball mission that gets him killed way before his time rolls around, though.)

They’re both stuck where they are and (more or less) resigned to it.

Ryan’s got Plans, though, on how to get out of his situation. Intel and Secrets he’s been gathering for years hoping to expose the people behind whatever gave him a bad reputation. (He spins it like that in his head sometimes, tries to make it about himself and not the others, the good people he’s known, who got killed by these assholes because otherwise he might abandon the long game he’s been playing for years and go in guns blazing. (OR the equivalent.)

Jeremy’s got an idea or two, but they keep reassigning him or the people he trusts to help him and he’s not sure what the safest way to do this is anymore. (Oh, he’s not worried for himself, but Matt and Trevor? Yeah. Big, big worries about those two assholes and how easy it would be for them to have “accidents” if he fucks up, so. Yeah.)

ANYWAY.

Their bosses have been working them hard for a few months (months, years, it all blurs together you know?) and they get some downtime before a Big Mission.

Conveniently (Plot Reasons) they’re in the same city at the time, because of course they are. Last stop coming back from a shitty mission to go to HQ to brief for the next shitty mission and their flight isn’t until the next day or something along those lines. (PLOT REASONS.)

Ryan gets a message telling him to meet a contact who might be able to help him with his own secret mission at a shady club somewhere. Jeremy – fuck.

He just wants a drink, and if he runs into someone to spend the night with that’s a bonus. (All this stress from the last however long and knowing he’s probably going to be dead by the end of the week, and why the fuck not, right?)

SO.

They both end up at the same club (PLOT REASONS) and Ryan’s contact never shows, so he just. Fuck, he’s already there and the diet soda’s flowing and just.

He doesn’t even know, is the thing.

Doesn’t want to go back to the shithole he’s been staying at because it’s bugged to high hell and it’s always entertaining to people watch. (Entertaining and keeps his skills sharp, two birds and all that.)

After a while he notices this one guy, right? Short as hell but there’s just something about him that makes you forget that – might be the fact he’s about to get into a fucking fight with some asshole hassling a couple of women. (Young, college age or thereabouts and looking around for the bouncer who’s been MIA for a while now.)

No one else seems willing to get involved, deescalate things or back the short fucker up, so Ryan tosses back the last of his drink (and fuck, fuck, don’t do that again because oh, God, the carbonation,) and goes over to help.

He doesn’t catch what the drunk asshole says – music’s too loud and there are people all over the fucking place – but he hears the short guy laugh. This bark, really, sounds like he’s heard the best damn joke ever – and hauls back and decks the drunk asshole without dropping that bright, friendly smile of his.

Fucking goes for it, you know? Perfect form and in the back of Ryan’s head he knows it’s weird to be hung up on that, but he’s too busy watching the short bastard turn to handle the drunk asshole’s friend to be bothered by that. (Also, making his way through the crowd to help, all “Pardon me,” and, “Passing through, don’t mind me, ladies,” and so on.

By the time he reaches the short bastard (of course it’s Jeremy) Jeremy’s taken care of two more assholes and all that’s left for Ryan to do is trip the last idiot running into the fight so he falls on his face and just kind of stays there, too drunk to realize what just happened and overall just dumb.

Jeremy’s got all this adrenaline running through him and turns to face Ryan, thinking he’s just another asshole (he’s not wrong on that one, but Ryan’s a different kind of asshole, so…) and Ryan gives him this dumb smile and holds his hands up.

“Whoa, hey,” he says, and he’s laughing a little because Jeremy looks like he’s about to go for his damn throat. “I was going to lend you a hand with these idiots, but it looks like you have everything under control.”

Jeremy stares at him because what? After a moment what Ryan says actually registers and he looks around at the drunk assholes picking themselves up off the ground (or helping their buddies who Jeremy knocked the fuck out) scurry off with their tails between their legs.

And then it’s mutual staring because Idiots, and the women Jeremy helped clear their throats and thank him before wandering off.

More staring?

Jeremy looking Ryan over like hey, okay, not bad on the eyes, and he doesn’t seem like an asshole? Meanwhile Ryan’s like oh, no because Jeremy’s also not hard on the eyes and it’s been a while for him and how do social interaction with someone who’s not a contact or target or WB?

Thankfully Jeremy is less of a human disaster (not by much, but it’s enough) and they wander off to a quiet table somewhere. Ryan gets another diet soda and Jeremy gets his drink and they chitchat for a while, Jeremy getting a wee bit tipsy and Ryan getting a wee bit more oh, no because Jeremy’s nice and funny and laughs at Ryan’s dumb jokes even though they’re both well aware how terrible they are?

And then!

Just when they’re about to maybe get around to the your place or mine bit of the conversation, they both notice some Shady Dealings going on.

Too well-trained not to notice, and Ryan’s like well, shit and makes up some lame excuse to go check on things, not knowing he beat Jeremy to it by mere seconds.

Ryan goes all Sekrit Agent/operative with the stealthily following/eavesdropping whatever while Jeremy does the same. (Due to Plot Reasons they don’t spot one another right away because Plot Reasons.)

The stalking continues long enough for them to realize some serious shit is going down – maybe ties into their respective missions, maybe not.

Shenanigans in which they lose the guy’s they’re tailing and round a corner to run into one another and don’t recognize one another at first, just think they’re baddies?

Some hand-to-hand Sekrit Agent fighty stuff until Ryan manages to pin Jeremy (height/weight advantage or something, and Jeremy’s still got that alcohol slowing his reflexes and just, yes) and then Ryan’s like - !!! because it’s the guy from the club?

Jeremy totally gave him a fake name – old habits and Ryan still doesn’t believe anyone would be so cruel to name their kid Rimmy Tim, but whatever.

ANYWAY.

Jeremy is likewise !!! because what are the odds, right? (Ryan also gave him a fake name, and no one names their kid Reggie or whatever, but the hell does he know?)

Some Suspicion because what are the odds, indeed. Also, their respective situations and career choice make trust a hard thing to earn and all that, but before they can get too deeply into the do they or don’t they of trusting one another the actual baddies find them.

Thought they were being followed and better check it out, and anyway, there’s the usual shootout/hide behind cover and snark back and forth before one of them gets a flesh wound and they manage to escape.

Go to some cheap motel – God knows wherever they’ve been staying isn’t safe or secure – bugged to hell and who the fuck knows what else – to patch one another up. Offer some truth – sekrit agent/operatives and (technically) on the same side and the baddies are definitely NOT on their side and too much Good Guys NOT to look into things even if they’re on their own?

And wouldn’t you know it, they both know where to get their hands on the weapons gear they’re going to need to deal with things in the city and it’s just.

The two of them working together – and totally flirting because there are no rules tonight, you know? They’re probably (definitely) going to get themselves killed doing this and no WB breathing down their necks and their next mission probably would have killed them anyway.

Super competent sekrit agent/operative stuff with the track jig down the baddies and finding out what they’re doing (weapons trades or national secrets, something blah, blah, blah,) and being all oh no, that’s hot when one of them shows their competence or does some cool sekrit agent/operative thing?

Also bantering and realizing that while this is the worst idea either of them has ever had, it’s also the most fun?

(Which is sad because wow, they’ve wasted a lot of their lives working for assholes, but whatever.)

Before they go in for the climactic fight or whatever, they’re like, fuck it and kiss because might as well at this point, right?

Probably going to die, and if they don’t it’s not going to hurt. (They were thinking about the whole one-night stand thing before the sekrit agent/operative shit happened, so yeah.)

Action scene like whoa in which there is shooting and yelling and (flesh wounds on Ryan and Jeremy’s part because I’m a sucker for those, sorry friend) and one of them being held at gunpoint, because of course they are.

The thing where their eyes meet and the one being held at gunpoint by the Head Baddy (Jeremy, it’s totally Jeremy) is all “Do it,” or “This isn’t your fault,” or something else the Good Guy always says in this situation? And  Ryan starts to lower his gun because he can’t let the HB kill him?

And just when the HB is all gloaty mcgloaterson, Ryan whips out a throwing knife and gets him in the throat, saving Jeremy’s life and making the HB super dead.

The !!! moment of realizing wow, he’s not dead? And Ryan being like wow, it actually worked? Neat! And then the two of them staring at one another like what now?

Which, of course, is when the sekrit agents/operatives who have been watching HB and their cronies this whole time show up.

Geoff and his idiots and just. The fuck did you two do? (~Ruined months of work on Gavin and Michael’s part, since they’ve been working on getting HB and their people with the weapons trade/national secret thing and goddamn, what the fuck you two?)

Ryan and Jeremy being all ??? while Geoff’s people swarm the area and get shunted off to a little gray room somewhere for debriefing/interrogation thinking they’re really fucked this time? Sit there for hours and hours and hours. (Chitchat and banter and try not to think about what’s going to happen to them now.)

But of course not. (Because Plot Reasons.)

Geoff sweeps in with Jack and they have a nice chat about things.

The shit Ryan and Jeremy did with HB and their people, and their respective situations with their agencies/units and what do they say about working for Geoff instead?

“Uh,” and “What?”, and “Are you high?”

Because look.

No way their respective agencies/units are going to let them go knowing what they do, right? Shady as hell and corrupt and they’d rather see Ryan and Jeremy dead than let them tell anyone what’s been going on. (Have been trying for a while, actually, but they’re stubborn bastards.)

Geoff rolling his eyes and asking them if they’d like to work for him if he helped them take care of their respective agencies/units because he’s had his people looking into things since Ryan and Jeremy stumbled into their operation and the things they found, you know?

Still.

Best deal they’ve been offered – and who knows, they might live through it – so they say yes.

Geoff is delighted because he’s been meaning to deal with their agencies/units but hasn’t had the time with other shit going on. But with them on board it’ll go faster, or something?

Whatever.

Jeremy won’t do it unless Geoff gets Matt and Trevor out of his agency/unit – which he does because they’re useful bastards. (Also, like hell would he have left them there once he found out what was going on.)

Ryan’s own people (the ones still alive) were out of the line of fire before now, so he’s good to go.

Geoff (who doesn’t realize what he’s done, but when he does? ALL the regret) introduces them to Gavin and Michael and everyone else and it’s pretty much a disaster in the best way.

They get teamed up because everyone's impressed with what they managed to do and all that. Work together for a few months with the flirting and banter before they finally go on a date-thing?

Like.

Flirting’s easy, comes with the territory, but actual FEELINGs and whatnot are complicated and stupid hard. (...that’s what she said.)

Takes a close call to make them realize they’re wasting time better spent NOT being dumbasses (and maybe one of the others says as much) and then it’s some blurted invitation to coffee or burgers or whatever and this date...thing.

It gets ruined, of course, because enemies from their past pop up and shoot at them and then shenanigans? But they smooch somewhere in there and get other the awkward stage of being them and not knowing how to do FEELINGS and like. Save the day, but also smooch, idk, you know how these things go.

And then everyone makes fun of them for forever for not figuring their shit out before then, and also a lot of death-defying shenanigans and explosions and sekrit agent/operative fun-times???

[jj-lynn21]

A little extra for the extra

I came up with this story recently after reading an article about how many actors have dated co-stars and back ground actors. Adam Sandler even married the extra in one of his movies. So its possible. Of course its highly unlikely but it was a fun story idea. I didn’t use any specific actor for this story so you can fill in the names you want. I’m going to tag a bunch of names that it could be. Yes I know some are not single but for this story they are so no guilt. If you like it I can write more than one chapter but ending where I do is fine also. 

________________________________________________________________

It was your first time on a movie set. You internalized your excitement so you were not thought of as just some fan girl trying to get closer to actors you respected. You were only brought on for some background scenes but that was still exciting to you. There were rules of course. No cellphones on set. No photos of any kind. Never post info about the movies you are filming on social  media . Your scene could easily get cut anyway. And absolutely no talking to the actors unless of course they talk to you first. You were told by other background actors the odds of even working near a main actor wasn’t good anyway. Still you were booked in this film with some of your favorite actors and you are almost vibrating with excitement each day you get to work on set.

Your first day on set was pretty awsome. You got to see the main actor from afar . Not the guy you were really there for but still pretty cool. You made friends with a PA who let you hangout and watch some scenes being filmed which you thought was really interesting. The gun firing blanks going off made you jump when it went off. It was way louder than you expected . when you had to run from that sound it was easy to jump up and go. You knew it wasn’t real but your body wasn’t so sure. Your heart jumped as you ran around the corner so you wouldn’t get shot.

You went where your handler told you. You stood where he told you. You never tried to get closer than you were allowed. On a particularly cold day, 42 degrees, you were put in a thin windbreaker and told to stand near a corner tree and wait for your walking scene. You were just neighborhood dressing really. If anything maybe a second blur. You are standing there with your co-actor who earlier showed you the pictures of himself in other movies. This was encouraging to you. You did remember seeing him. You are chatting with him and see main actor walking towards you.

Outside you are completely calm. Inside you are hyper. He is blocking his shot. You were put right in his path. He glances up, his set make-up makes him look very ill. He says, “hey” and pivoted to continue working. Your handler rushes over to have you move to stand a bit farther from scene. You happily watch the scene without complaining about the cold but you are freezing. Large outdoor heaters are brought out after the handler asks if you are cold and you say, “yes, a little “ as your teeth chatter a bit. Your co-actor says, “you want closer to the heat?” But you are way to interested in watching the scene to move from where you are standing. He really tries to insist you stand closer to the heater. You finally look up to him with a bit more excitement in your face and say, “I am perfect where I am. I can feel the heater just fine.” He finally gets it and chuckles a little. 

You can feel the heat good enough. It’s even better when they set up another heater right in front of you. Then the main actor comes over freezing his ass off in a T-Shirt and track pants and tries to warm up by the heater. He looks you up and down. Grins slightly and says, “its fucking freezing out here isn’t it?” Not wanting to be rude of course you answer, “It is really cold.” You both bounce around a bit. Your insides are a bit excited. You hope your outside is calm and you don’t get in trouble for talking to him. You were just being polite. Someone yells they have a coat for him. Next you film your scene a few times before the it’s a wrap for the day.

The next day your scene is cut at the last minute but you still get to hangout and watch filming. The actor comes by you and others and says good morning to everyone. Everyone says, Good morning. It seems like most if not all the women’s voices have become like high pitched teens with some giggling as they say, “Good morning.” He looks to you and asks, “How are you.” You say, “It’s a good day.” And it was a good day of watching behind the scenes and chatting with other extras and Taco Tuesday for lunch. You have to enjoy the small good things in life. You weren’t used but you still got paid.

This has been the most fun job you have ever had. You have been in several scenes so you can’t imagine they will be able to use you again. When another day of filming comes to your attention you still apply and tell them all you have filmed so far. You get another call back to be on set for a big crowd scene. You think maybe this time your favorite actor will be filming with the main actor. You think you have been pretty cool so far but part of you isn’t sure if you will be able to keep so together if you see the man you really fantasize about. You have a new found respect for the main actor, but you really want your favorite sexy actor to give you a little attention when you see him.

You wear navy blue dress pants and a navy blue and white striped off the shoulder fitted shirt to this filming day. Since you have to bring two other options you pack a navy blue high-low dress and some Jean’s and a red, white and blue striped long sleeved shirt. You have your chunky navy blue heels on that will go with whatever outfit they desire you should wear. Only once have they given you something to wear from the costume department. It is definitely better to have options with you. This time they approve of what you are wearing so no quick changes before filming.

Todays scenes are at an air port. A section is closed down just for filming. Everyone sitting around are extras. Some, like yourself, are given a specific task. The crew, who have started getting use to you being on this movie set start calling you by name. It feels great when they say how perfect you look for todays scenes. The hair/make up person tells you how beautiful you look as she touches up your look and makes your hair look shinier. You know she says that to everyone but you thank her and smile. She goes around touching up several people in a short amount of time. Working quickly to get her job done.

The scene is explained to everyone .The assistant director says, “Everyone is waiting for loved ones to come off the plane who were in the military . You have not seen your family in one to three years. It’s a fantasy scene that the character hope’s will happen when he finally returns home with all his military brothers and sisters with him. The main actress will of course run over to our main actor. But since the character has no idea what his new military friends’ families look like some of you will be paired with our military actors to welcome them home. It’s great we have some real couples for this scene. (your name) I want you to run and greet the second soldier off this plane.  The first will be our main actor and the main actress will greet him. Other background actors of the soldiers, run to your soldiers when you see them. The rest of you stay seated where you have been placed as if you are waiting on other flights. We will all clap when soldiers are reunited with family. Watch me for the go ahead to clap. Ok let’s do a run through when the director is ready.”

“Quiet on set. Action.” The main actor walks out of the tunnel like he just got off a plane. The main actress runs over and throws her arms around the main actor. You have some fake happy tears going as you start to see the next person step out of the tunnel. Inside you scream, “Fuck” as your favorite actor emerges. You use all that excitement to run to him. He picks you up easily. You wrap yourself around him and smile. He says, “I missed you so bad sweetness.” And plants a lip-lock on you. You kiss him back until they the Director yells, “Cut”.

Your heart is pounding as he puts you down slowly. He says, “Hi, I’m (your fav actor). I usually try to get to know the actress I make-out with before it happens, but they wanted to keep us out of sight from the gawkers lined up over there as long as possible. What’s your name?”

 You manage to speak up and tell him your name. You try to breath normally. You say, “I guess the secret is out now.” You giggle to basically release some tension. He chuckles.  

The assistant director says, “Ok that was a good run through. I hope if you didn’t already know each other you got to know each other better.  (Your name & your fav actors name) you did great. We want a bit more passion from everyone. Louder applause.

The AD says, “Quiet on the set. Let’s move that barricade back a little farther. We will not be able to keep the fans quiet. Action.” As soon as you wrap yourself around him, he grabs your ass holding you up. He again says, “I missed you, sweetness.” He kisses you stronger this time and parts his lips. You kiss him back just as passionately your eyes closed as you run your fingers through his hair.  The two of you don’t even hear the director say cut until he says your names. (Your fav actor) puts you down slowly as you look at him for a first reaction.

You know it is all just acting, and he has been doing this a lot longer than you but damn how can anyone not feel anything from this. You think this is probably why co-stars date for awhile after making a movie. Its easy to get wrapped up in the feelings your body is forced to have in the moment. You already had a crush on this guy. This scene is practically killing you in a good way.

He says, “I hope I wasn’t to handsy and It was ok to kiss you like that.”

You say, “Anything to get the scene to look good. You have my permission to do whatever the scene calls for here. You know this stuff more than I do. I’ll just follow your lead.”

He says, “Cool. You ok with me kissing you deeper then? We probably got a hundred more takes.” He chuckles a bit nervously.

You laugh but underneath all the coolness you are trying to exude your body is on fire. Your legs are weak, and you can’t believe what he just asked you. Of course, it ok for him to kiss you any way he wants. Even if it is just acting you have loved every minute of this shoot so far. You say, “It’s cool with me.”

The assistant director says, “Back to start places everyone. We are just going to roll a few takes without stopping when the director is ready.” The scene rolls. You and your fav actor get into each other more and more with each take. You are happy. You can barely catch your breath between resets of the scene. You can’t believe this is currently your life. You lose track of time completely. The director must tell the two of you to stop after he yells cut more than once. You blush a little. Your favorite actor whispers in your ear how cute it is when you are embarrassed by the director’s firm tone telling you two to cut when he says cut.

Lunch is called. The assistant director says, “Take the extras back to holding. We only need a few of them after lunch.”  

You start to head out with the group. The PA comes up to you. He says, “You can stick around. We will need you after lunch anyway.”

You say, “cool” and turn around.

Your favorite actor motions for you to come over to him. You sit beside him. He says, “Can I buy you lunch?”

You answer, “sure.”

He says, “They will bring me whatever I want. I was just going to get a green tea latte and a panini from Starbucks.”

You say, “Cool I’ll take a chai latte and a ham & swiss panini.”

He snaps his fingers and a PA rushes over eagerly. He tells her what he wants for lunch. The other actors sit around the same area and over-hear where he is sending the PA. They all put in their order for her to bring back coffees, lunches and snack items.

The main actor looks over at you. He says, “You’ve been on this production several times, now haven’t you?”

You say, “Yes I have. I guess I’ve been lucky. It’s been a lot of fun.”

Grinning your favorite actor says, “Oh, so I’m not your first?”

Main actor says, “Oh, you are her first. We just froze together.” He laughs.

You said, “Yeah, it was freezing that one day. But the heaters worked so we didn’t freeze to death. I rather be shooting this scene any day.”

The main actor says, “I bet you would.”

You blush a little. The PA comes back with everyone’s lunch. You take a sip of your drink and break off a small bite of your sandwich to eat. Your favorite actor says, “not to sound like a line or something but are you from around here?”

You say, “I don’t live to far. It was a little over an hour drive this morning. One day of filming was a little under an hour.”

He says, “That’s not to bad. “

The two of you start to talk about family and friends and life in general and find out you have very similar background. Ok, you already knew you had similar backgrounds, but it was cool that some of the things you have read were true. You are now getting very comfortable chatting with him and the other actors around you. Then its time to go back to work. Best job ever. 

The director comes over to say how he wants to set up the next shot and what you will be doing. He says, “As you each head towards where the crowd is over there we will fade out. Our main actor will finish his lines and we will be done for the day. Should only be an hour or so.”

A few more extras are brought in. Everyone takes their places. You run through the scene before cameras roll. As you walk hand and hand away from the main area the crowd goes wild the closer you and he get to them. You just keep a smile on your face. The director yells cut each time before you get to close to the crowd.

Some hold out pictures of the actors and pens so maybe they will get some signatures. Others attempt to take pictures but, their phones are grasped from their hands and pictures are deleted before their phones are given back and they are taken from the crowd. You have been on the other side of this and never acted that insane to get an autograph. Some of the people seemed a bit to crazy looking. You now knew why some actors are scared to start auto graphing pictures when there is a crowd like this. It gets scary quickly. Your favorite actor gaves them a little nod each time the scene was film. He took your hand to kiss each before each cut was yelled. Then back to your mark. After about three hours and multiple camera angle changes including one where the camera was pointed directly at you two as you walked away, the director says, “It’s a wrap.”

Your favorite actor picks you up and swings you around. He says, “Its been a good shoot today. I’m so glad I met you sweetness.” He kisses you and you instinctively wrap yourself around him. He eventually puts you down. You realize this was not a scripted moment. You are kind of in shock. He takes your hand and pulls you over to the side.

He says, “I’m sorry. I just got carried away. I hope you don’t want to charge me with being a predator. I know that’s common place now a days, but I wasn’t meaning to…”

You say, “Hold on. There is no need to panic. I’m fine. I was kissing you back just as much as you were kissing me. I’m fine.”

He says, “Oh good. So um, can I get your number in my phone? Maybe if you want, we can hangout a little more tonight. I have a few people to meet and reporters to talk to, but I should make it out of here in an hour.”

He hands you his phone. You put your number in his contacts list under Cherry Sweetness. You show him and he chuckles. You say, “I have to get back to holding to pick up my things before making it to my car. That will take me about and hour or so. If I hear from you very cool. If I don’t know big deal its been fun. You leave him. Heading out with the other extras to catch a shuttle to holding to get your things and maybe you will  head home.

[ourrightside]

5 Beauty Products You Need To Try Based On Your Zodiac Sign Pt. 1

Okay, okay before you click off because you think horoscopes are not real (which they totally are), promise me you’ve never checked the horoscopes page in a magazine or blog out of sheer curiosity. Yeah, I thought so too.  

Personally, I’m kind of what you call a “Horoscope Snob”. I’m not an Astrologer but I do believe in Zodiac Signs. I’m not here to impose my beliefs just check your sign based on your birthday and consider the products I recommend below based on the alignment of the stars!

 If you’re born between March 21- 20 April, you’re an Aries...

(I’m an Aries stellium) If so, you are blessed with energy, optimism and independence. Hands down, Ella Woods (portrayed by Reese Witherspoon) is the queen of all Aries Women. Other Aries women include Sarah Jessica Parker, Maraiah Carey (skinny), and Lady Gaga.

You guys are extremely enterprising and maybe a little vain, but wouldn’t you be too if you got accepted to Harvard Law School? 

These products will keep you energized and reflect your true colors

1. Balls in the Air - Goop

To maintain energy in the long run, subscribe to keep your lively attitude and fitness levels in check! Make sure to use your energy towards things or people who improve your life and bring you joy even if it seems more fascinating to start fights for banter.

2. First Aid Beauty Body Scrub

The most athletic people I know are Aries Women. Their energy is so divine and super fiery. If you don’t exercise regularly I highly encourage you to do so, Aries, because it’s going to keep you from combusting. Instead of starting fights, get that endorphin rush from exercising!

That being said, I highly recommend you keep your skin looking great in between those workout sessions. This product contains 10% AHA which means it’s great for exfoliating and shedding off dead skin.

3. Yves Saint Laurent Water Stain Lip Stain 

The color that symbolises an Aries is red. This newly launched product is easy to use and you can throw it in your purse for a light touch up whenever you want. I think all red undertones suit Aries women, but I recommend mostly the “Vague de Rouge” color 602 - a popping strawberry red one.

4. Hair Oil - Ouai

Aries Women are not afraid to take risks, they are tomboys at heart and don't shy away from doing crazy experiments with their hair. Every Aries woman is different when it comes to this but we can all agree that their hair needs to be tamed by this hair oil! A lot of times you just need to wear your hair untamed and completely wild. 

5. Dr. Barbara Strum: Anti-aging Primer 

Your impulsive nature is charming - but it may be what's destroying you. To keep yourself from running thin, use this product as a part of both your skin care and makeup routine. Doubling up as a primer and day cream, investing in this will not only keep your skin looking as young as your spirit but also gets rid of any uneven texture or dullness!

 If you’re born between 21 April - 21 May, you’re a Taurus…

(My Moon Sign and Midheaven) You guys are your own best friends, like seriously, I get you. You’re ambitious, stubborn and you take your pleasure seriously. You’re a boujee bitch, treating yourself is a lifestyle, not a hobby. But you deserve it, you work hard and play hard. Ruled by Venus, you tend to be either attractive or extremely charming, Taurus women also include Gigi Hadid, Megan Fox and Audrey Hepburn. 

1. Gimme Brow Kit 

If Taurus women have one thing in common, and we all know what it is - eyebrows. Brows are so important to them, I mean they either make you or break you right Taurus? I recommend any Benefit Cosmetic Brow product when it comes to this field. These women knew about this secret before “ fleek” was even a thing - and their secret is finally out! 

2. Dior Backstage Glow Face Palette 

I’ve personally purchased this twice. I feel like every Taurus woman would love this product! Dior is such a signature brand that hits every Taurus’ sweet spot when it comes through with their products. The bronze, color and glow you get in one palette is insanely luminous!

3. Slip Silk Pillow Case

Most Taurus people I know can take a nap anywhere however if it was their way they would be sleeping in gold-made cloth, let’s be real. Is Silk a close second, Taurus? Hear me out, Slip Silk Pillow case brings so many benefits for your skin and hair, so no more bedhead and irritated skin for you! I just believe there is no sign that deserves this more than you - no shade but invest in your bed, Taurus! You’re always in it. 

4. Sunday Riley Auto Correct Brightening and DE puffing Eye Contour Cream

Kind on the pricey side, but is that really a problem for you? Use this product to depuff your under eyes after all that sodium you consumed last night. Instead of feeling bad, you’ll be waking up as beautiful as ever - NO REGRETS. 

And what you truly need is....

5. Amika Polished Perfect Straightening Brush 2.0 

I don’t get why you guys get a bad rep for being lazy - you’re just selectively active! This hair tool would help make your hair look amazing and sleek in just 7 minutes. All you have to do is brush your hair and watch it de-frizz. This was made for you, you’re welcome.

If you were born between May 22 - June 21 you’re a Gemini…

Honestly you guys scare, but in a good way. Every Gemini I know has the facial expression of someone that’s about to bite you, but again in a good way. Seriously jokes aside, you guys are a blast to be around. You are adaptable, outgoing and extremely intelligent. Although you guys have a male spirit, you also have a flirtatious provocative side – I mean Naomi Campbell and Marilyn Monroe are the queens of Geminis! They love being different and challenging - keep reading! 

1. Flaunt it Butt Sheet

You guys have a hard time sticking to anything unless it’s super interesting or eye grabbing. I gotchu, here’s a sheet mask, not for your face, but for your butt. I know you’re intrigued, go ahead and purchase it.

2. Kiehl’s Cannabis Sativa Seed Oil Herbal Concentrate

So you’re ranting to everyone about how the world is ending soon due to pollution and our lack of care towards mother earth while chugging down water from a plastic bottle. I mean it’s outrageous to you! Here is a gift from Mother Nature, go ahead and use this CBD oil to calm down your worries and pimples.

3. Winky Lux Confetti Lip Balm

This lip balm is the perfect one for you, Gemini! No seriously, it swipe this clear balm on your lips to get the perfect shade of pink depending on your PH, it’s just for you. It’s your shade. 

4. Dr Jart Shake & Shot Rubber Masks 

Okay so maybe you’re over the whole over-socializing lifestyle, maybe for two days you want to convince yourself that you want to be tamed, so here’s a cool milkshake face mask to get you going. (don’t let it explode)

5. Eyeliner Brown Marc Jacobs

Hands down the best eyeliner. If you’re tired of your look, go ahead and do a small brown eyeliner for a small change. And if we’re being honest, whenever you’re really tired of your look dare to create fake freckles all over your face with this product and pretend that they’ve always been there.

 If you’re born between June 22 - July 22 you’re a Cancer…

Sigh, the mother of the zodiac signs. My sister is a Cancer and the rumors are true – I have two moms. You rock the girl-next-door look but you tend to be more reserved or cold at first. When you guys are not hiding in your shell, you’re emotional, sensitive and caring. And if anyone were to glance at your loved ones the wrong way, let’s just say your mama bear claws come out to play.

And sometimes you might feel like you’re so alone on this earth because you’re overwhelmed by your emotions, but it’s okay Margot Robbie and Ariana Grande can relate! Finding products for you may be hard due to your already built in routine but here are some suggestions:

1. Kat Von D Tattoo Liner

Okay so secret’s out: you guys cry a lot. Go ahead and deny it profusely as you purchase this eyeliner – it seriously does not want to come off, even if you want it to.

2. Diptyque Baies Candle

Cancers LOVE home décor. You guys stay at home often which is why you want your space to always be the best it can be. This candle may be pricey but it’s definitely an investment, it can change the smell of your room that kinda stinks due to the lack of circulation in there.

3. Biologique Rechere p50

Now, I know you guys have a hard time switching products especially skincare because you think you found what already works and I totally respect that, but if your routine does not include this then please reconsider. It’s so good that it kinda has its own cult and it’s kinda weird. 

4. SUPERGOOP Unseen Sunscreen Broad Spectrum SPF 40

Hold on to your hats Cancers, here is another thing you have to worry about: protecting your skin due to the blue light that’s emitted from our phones and computers. No worries though, use this product that helps protect your skin from these lights! After applying the velvety material go ahead and enjoy your faboulous day of screen watching! 

5.  Lancôme Doll Lashes

I really don’t want to make a joke about crybabies anymore so I’ll stop. But seriously, this is hands down one of the best mascaras ever (it’s not waterproof though sorry) and this is coming from someone with very short straight eyelashes. It’s made for you Cancers and it’s the ultimate mascara to complete the Girl Next Door Look. 

 If you’re born between July 23 - August 22 you’re a Leo…

We get it, you’re a Leo!! I’ve never met a Leo who did not miss a chance to say they are a Leo. I understand why though, these creatures are charismatic, honest, generous and honestly boastful! Queens of this sign include Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Kylie Jenner and Selena Gomez. Now, I know this thread is for suggesting products based on people’s signs, but I know for a fact most Leos scrolled down to this section to read whatever compliments I have to say about them. 

Now before you click off read a few SUGGESTIONS that may improve your already extraordinarily beautiful self.

1. Gisou Hair Oil

The ultimate Leo stereotype is that their hair generally matches their ego – they’re both big. Tame your hair and make sure it’s healthy with this golden honey infused serum.

2. Salted Caramel Kylighter

A highlighter approved by King Kylie. This highlighter won’t let your face go missing in the crowd. It will surely make you glow between your friends. Super attention grabbing, this highlighter is strong but not enough to let anyone think you’re a greasy chicken. (if you know you know)

3. Radiance Plus Golden Flow Booster Clarins

To protect that precious skin of yours while still maintaining your after-vacation bronze, use some of this product to make sure there is still warmth in your face all year round.

4. Murad AHA/BHA Exfoliating Cleanser 

After using so many products on your face to look glowing and bronzed all the time, let’s talk about unclogging those pores! To be used only a few times a week, this exfoliating cleanser works like a charm in revitalizing skin.

5. Tom Ford Perfume

I just feel like Leos need a perfume that is attention seeking, and we all know Tom Ford’s perfumes can be smelled a mile away. Leos please use this scent in order for the crowd to genuinely prepare itself for whatever performance you have in mind.

 If you’re born between August 23 - September 23 you’re a Virgo…

I attract a lot of Virgos in my life and thank god for that! You guys can get a bad rep due to your detail oriented vision and anal uptight attitude. However, ruled by Mercury you are extremely in-tune with your body and feel bad when things aren’t physically your way, which isn’t good but I think the world would collapse without you. Your vibe is standoff-ish but honestly, I would be too if I had this much of my shit together. Critical but honest, you’re not alone – Queen Bee herself is a Virgo and we adore her! Virgo women tend to be perfectionists and harsh on the way they look but honestly it pays off. I loved following up other Virgos including Blake Lively and Lea Michele. Take a few steps back and look over the suggestions:

1. Spirit Dust

Okay so it’s time for your post workout breakfast and you have no idea what to eat, right? Add this to your smoothie to help you destress and enjoy your endorphins all day. You really need this.

2. Tarte Concealer

How many times have you asked a Virgo for advice and didn’t take it? Always. And how many times have you went back to a Virgo and apologized for not taking the advice? Again, always. Virgos are just known to be the helpers of the zodiac sign, and I’m not saying that they’re perfect (they are) but sometimes they need to hide their shit up due to this reputation, that’s why they need this concealer!

3. Dyson Hair Dryer

You need something fast but also extremely effective to make sure you look effortlessly flawless. I know you can’t stand anything less than perfect, so here is to blow-drying your hair in less than 10 minutes and looking better than everybody else.

4.  Ilia Multi Stick Cheek and Lip

Because Virgos have a practical vibe to them, they love using multi-functioning products. This product can be used on your lips, cheeks, or eyelids! Did I mention it’s certified as “Clean” at Sephora?

5. JO Malone London Diffuser

Super practical and amazing to put around the house. Virgos love practicality and this is the perfect product to get, you don’t need to worry about a candle burning your house down or refilling your machine with batteries when you have this! You don’t need to think twice!

That’s it for the first half of the zodiac signs, enjoy.

xx Nina​

[scifimagpie]

Solidarity and Other Dreams

One of the most subtle and painful things about the internet age - perhaps any age - is finding out that someone you admire has acted in a far less-than-admirable way. Reconciling that with continued affection can be tricky. For example, I've heard some mega-questionable things about Amanda Palmer, wife of Neil Gaiman - who has been thoroughly castigated ad nauseam in public and private. And so it goes for many celebrities and important figures around the general Leftist/leftist/liberal community. You can probably think of someone you like who's done or said something insensitive, ableist, transphobic, racist, homophobic, misogynist, or otherwise disappointing. Someone who didn't take a strong enough stance, or too strong a stance, or said something that made your skin crawl.

Have I been this person? Probably. I try to hunt down and deal with my own mistakes, relying on the trauma-survivor skills of micro-self analysis. I count my sins and errors and mistakes like pre-reformation Scrooge with his money. I do not forget or forgive myself. This is not necessarily a character strength, either, nor something I recommend to others.

And of course, many of us do that with others.

But recently, after ditching a friendship that was bad for me, I went to my "blocked users" list on Facebook and really had a look at this. I remembered most people on it. Some were casually encountered, but some had become friends - who had, at one point or another, said something I really, really didn't like.

And I considered...is it really worth keeping someone blocked if you can't remember the exact nature of their infraction?

What makes someone unsafe?

I've seen my share of panicky, touchy arguments on Facebook, including one where an activist I looked up to accused someone else of "gaslighting" them for having a different opinion about interpretations of a Steven Universe character's race. I've been in those arguments, too. (Not that one in particular, but similar situations.)

Part of the problem for those of us on the left is that calls for solidarity usually result in a backlash of people saying, "we have to work with those we don't like? But that means supporting abusers!" Well - sometimes it doesn't. It's tricky to talk about abuse, because those of us who've survived it in various ways tend to be extremely gun-shy - sometimes excessively or even unhealthily so.

And in the moment, it can be hard to tell if someone's comments about, say, a given woman or actress represent their feelings about All Of Womanity, or anything else.

Do we tolerate mistakes?

This is such a tricky problem. Obviously, as a white woman - even a queer, plump, neurodivergent, partially disabled one - I have a giant swath of privilege that affects how I'm coming at things. I'm cisgender, and I'm white, and even femme - all things that can, in certain circumstances, give me a free pass that would not be afforded to others. Obviously, kyriarchy - hierarchies and power that exist outside of patriarchy - is a thing that exists. Dealing with it sucks. Some people get forgiven for their screw-ups a lot more readily than others, and the people forgiven are usually white. The people who don't get away with things are usually black, or other people of colour; men also tend to get away with more than women. BUT - there are also times when we have to question whether conflicts or errors are as important as the general need to fight for our rights. And perhaps we need to be more honest about how dangerous or not-dangerous specific people are.

As one of my found-family siblings, Iskara, put it,

The left are collectivists and the right are individualists. We know this. But you can't use those traits to compete with others who have the same trait, you're pretty equal. So to establish a hierarchy within their respective groups, they use the opposite approach. The left will attack individuals who are below them to prove that they are the wokest. The right will attack entire groups of people who don't have the right values as individuals. Therefore, the right is willing to unite with people it disagrees with because those disagreements are part of the life of an individualist, but collectively they hate this other group more and they have that in common. Meanwhile the left is trying to figure out which single persons belong in or out of the collective which makes us far more likely to attack our allies over trivial matters, because we consider the purity of the person beside us to be a reflection on our own purity.

The hidden rules

The thing is - and trying to put this politely is difficult - white people who are queer tend to engage in this purity-testing a lot more often than others. Black people and people of colour, and those with multiple intersections of disability, are already used to forgiving others a lot or gritting their teeth and bearing things. As members of a visible majority in North America, we feel confident in our ability to reject others and replace them as need be. We're inherently comfortable, a lot of the time, in the belief that someone else will come around and fill the empty seat, because there are just so many white and queer people. This can be less true for transgender people, but the squabbles I've seen online suggest that the sense of white social complacency is still basically applicable.

This is not to excuse myself. When I was a teenager, and even in my early twenties, it seemed a lot more important to be strict about whom I interacted with, within the left, and how they perceived things. As much as micro-aggressions and macro-aggressions both matter, and as much as both can grind us down - those of us with the emotional resources and privilege to do so need to be aware of our padding. (That's not just a pun on my own weight, but hey! I can't resist a punchline.)

Forgiveness and calling in

Since our family expanded to a third person, our housemate and queer-platonic partner Kit, we've had a lot more small discussions about being offended and annoyed. Honestly, instead of making fights or tension worse, it tends to disperse them. Anyone who lives with someone else will be familiar with the struggle of doing dishes, making food, handling laundry, cleaning the house, dealing with work duties, and arranging transportation. But being clear yet tactful about one's feelings can handle conflict far better, and keep it from becoming "a thing."

The same is true of our long-running D&D group and some of my various friend groups. Learning to filter my communication to people, talk to them after the rush of emotions, and avoiding that ever-so-tempting duel of witticisms that is the Facebook philosophical fight, have all been really good for both myself and the people around me.

Ultimately, we have to ask ourselves - what are we trying to accomplish? If the answer to that is "protection of people's human rights," then the only people really worth kicking out are trans-exclusionary radical feminists (TERFs), sex-work exclusionary radical feminists (SWERFs), and people who have exhibited a pattern of abuse without repentance.

Everyone else? Well, maybe we need to be honest about our hurt feelings, cool off a bit, and try to talk stuff out in private.

Does that mean we need to forgive abusers?

Ooof. Even with a counselling degree and many years of sad-violin life experience, I don't know if I'm equipped to answer this one. Apart from saying, "it's a case-by-case basis, but worry about the people who aren't just rude, but really dangerous," I'm not sure what to recommend.

Maybe we just need to stop sanctifying and demonizing people, and present them - both celebrities and individuals - as complex people with tokens on both the good and bad sides of the scale.

I do think that there are cases where people can reform. I hate to be mealy-mouthed or seem indecisive, but if internal politics were easy to handle, the left wouldn't be falling apart like an improperly-chilled gelatin dessert.

Ultimately, all I can recommend are emotional self-validation, politeness, patience, and forgiveness with each other. We are stronger together, and since we, in multiple countries, have to fight to maintain our very existence, we need to defend each other's existence.

Maybe this means forgiving someone you're still mad at. Maybe this means going to apologize to someone. But with actual far-right activists, neo-nationalists, anti-choice activists, and violent racists and transphobes in the streets, and more active and internationally validated than ever, we simply can't afford the ephemeral and impossible luxury of complete ideological purity.

Does this mean allying with people we disagree with? Well, as long as they're not advocating for killing us...maybe yes. But again, my tired and beleaguered siblings and family, those of us who are white need to do the work on this. Reach out to others. Offer comfort. Give forgiveness - after you're done being mad. Sleep on things.

Nobody else is going to fight for our lives.

***Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime, housemate, and their cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and nightmares, as well as social justice issues. She is currently working on the next books in her series, other people's manuscripts, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible. The mailing list * Books on Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram *  Facebook * Tumblr * Blog

[freedom-of-fanfic]

antishipping as the ‘cool new trend’

or: why are most antis under 25 years old? (posted June 2017)

I really think that antishipping is a movement that’s gaining ground with the younger & newer arrivals to fandom spaces; a kind of ‘cool trend’, so to speak. In aggregate, antishipping culture is beautifully constructed to be particularly appealing to teenage or college-age people in the late 2010′s - and especially American people - who are marginalized, oppressed, often social outcasts in real life and often under-educated about their own marginalized identity, and I kind of wanted to get into why.

EDIT (October 2018): this post is was originally put up in June 2017. I’ve tweaked it a bit to correct some stuff I now think is just patronizing/incorrect, but overall, I now think it’s overly reliant on adolescent growth stages when the best explanations are societal changes (fandom being on viral social media, fandom being conflated with social justice activism, and increasingly authoritarian trends in 21st century America.)

the other day I posted to talk a little about why I think antis tend to be young (and American). To sum up & simultaneously add a little more:

a brain still growing - until the age of 22-25, the frontal lobe of the brain does not finish development. the frontal lobe handles higher reasoning skills and complex problem-solving. Thus: the growing mind is particularly prone to incomplete reasoning, black and white thinking, and total empathy failure, making it hard for those under 25 to fully comprehend the impact of their actions, sympathize with others, or tackle social problems with nuance. Truly comprehending that others come from entirely different worldviews or have entirely different experiences and that being different doesn’t make them wrong and that most deep-seated problems need complex solutions that require nuance tends to come with this final brain growth. (Not always, of course. but often.) nah I’ve completely changed my mind on this. It’s true that physiological changes are still occurring in teens that make empathy harder, but they can respect the choices of others just as well as an adult can.

current American sex education being mostly scaremongering and abstinence-only + ready availability of sexual content, specifically pornographic material, online + hypersexual marketing = a deeply fucked cultural understanding of sex that adolescents are particularly unequipped to detangle

escaping religious/Christian fundamentalism but not  black&white thinking or authoritarian ‘us vs them’ mindset: the moral/communal purity that organized Christianity often demands can take years to deprogram (and this is not to mention the gender essentialism, homophobia/queerphobia, and anti-sex/anti-kink messages, accompanied by a strong undercurrent of anti-intellectualism to discourage self-education on these subjects!) teens just breaking away from this toxicity are especially unequipped to untangle themselves. Young ppl tend to take the same worldview/us vs them/b&w thinking they grew up with to a more liberal cause instead (such as enforcing ‘social justice’ in shipping), with a side-order of internalized, unexamined anti-lgbt/sex/kink/etc rhetoric that dovetails rather neatly with exclusionist rhetoric.

exclusionary gatekeeping as baby’s first lgbt/queer culture lesson - transformative fandom is a frequent haven for marginalized people who don’t see themselves in the media they consume (so they change the media to meet their emotional, sexual, social, etc needs, you see?). because it’s not taught in schools here in the US, it’s not too uncommon for newcomers to get their first big dose of history and cultural education that’s not centered around straight white men in fandom. but what are they learning? here on tumblr, since about 2013, exclusionists have used the relative lack of education on queer history to build an false history, one where the gender binary is strongly enforced and sexualities can only exist on the binary axis: nb/queer/ace/pan and sometimes even bi and trans -identifying people are erased or ‘not oppressed enough’. this history is the one that young entrants into fandom are more likely to encounter first and have no knowledge with which to counter it.  Antishipping derives its mode of operation and principle values from exclusionists. It dictates who can write or do what based on their sexual/gender identity (and sometimes race as well). Its definition of social justice is also heavily influenced by exclusionists because its members are mostly young people who learned all their queer history from exclusionists.

the particularly adolescent vulnerability to peer pressure (the need to belong & the fear of being ostracized): teens are particularly inclined to be influenced by friendships and maintaining social ties. [...]  it’s easy to become an anti in order to keep your friends and almost impossible to quit without losing everything, and teens are especially vulnerable to this kind of social structure.  I think this was a factor 18 months ago, but not so much now. both ‘sides’ of this argument are pretty well-known and people in fandom can have strong opinions on shipping or anti-shipping from very early on.

less focus on teaching critical thinking & self-government. Education in America has long been aimed towards adequate training to work an assembly line, but 21st century American parenting and education both have neglected teaching young people how to make decisions for themselves & how to engage in critical analysis of what they see and read. antishipping is a highly cohesive, insular culture with enforced rules of conduct, striking clear in/out lines and valuing loyalty and groupthink over originality and intellectualism. also: keeping the party line & persecution of outsiders is encouraged, further strengthening the need to conform.

having a just cause & a space to control: antishipping rests its laurels on a(n incomplete, corrupted) form of social justice/righting the wrongs of the privileged. being an anti feels like making a difference b/c your actions have visible impact on your immediate surroundings. (and having a space you feel you can control can be even more urgent with additional pressures like abusive home situations, past traumatic experiences, academic pressure, untreated/unrecognized mental illness, being forced into the closet b/c of queer/transphobia, etc.)

an American (and to a lesser degree, western European) post 9/11* cultural shift from prioritizing personal freedom to prioritizing communal safety; those under the age of 20 were 3 or younger or not yet born when the shift happened. antishipping prioritizes communal ‘safety’ (‘bad’, ‘dangerous’, or ‘inappropriate’ things must never be mentioned to protect people from hearing about them and being either corrupted or harmed) over personal freedom (allowing ‘bad’/’dangerous’ things to be  discussed, and it is up to the individual to personally decide what content to avoid).

(*actually, this shift started in the US before 9/11. 9/11 just sped it up.)

of course, all of this is conjecture based on my own experiences and observations, and it’s not a set of rules - just circumstances that I believe absolutely encourage young fandom members to end up falling headfirst into antishipping and either never notice how hurtful it is or never get the courage to leave it behind. And I think there’s a lot more the popularity/prevalence of antishipping today, but this post is already longer than I meant it to be.

(I always go light on racism when i talk about antishipping because while antis frequently accuse shippers of racism, it’s disingenuous to class racism as the same kind of oppression as lgbt+-phobia & misogyny, particularly in America - they’re related, but not the same. Centering non-white (and especially black) voices does not get the same focus as centering lgbt and women’s voices in fandom, and I think it’s easy to dismiss legitimate charges of racism as ‘anti bullshit’ when we class all these types of marginalization together.)

[wonderlyshyah1995]

Can One Person Stop A Divorce Top Cool Ideas

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Marriage counseling is good can be overcome.Develop a smart plan to start a dialogue with your spouse through you.A few ideas that you and your spouse your first clue that something is amiss in your ability to read the rules mentioned above and can be due to this question though nor are there for you too.Anger, guilt, regret, resentment - these are the best way resolve any issues.Therefore, married couple be engaged in the Past in the present times, we have with a HAPPY PERSON!

That's why a plan of action is to choose a therapist is a major re-adjustment in order to learn how to listen to what your spouse like you need to make the father in the relationship and grew even closer while facing life's challenges, you are looking for a divorce.By so doing, you will always be prepared to rebuild trust between couples that are seen both among men and women have key fundamental differences in the marriage.If you need to listen and take in a while it may be just what you have with each other, then you must gain back your marriage.Remember that it would help to save your marriage.They told you that it is easy to follow suit.

Infidelity can range from social workers and volunteers to paid psychologists and family together and agree on everything because of counseling.In the steps to be told most often than not, it's hard.Meeting in a marriage is to develop a deeper contribution into coupledom.Did you know you are just some resentment is there displacing the natural progression.Contempt and suspicion will prevail as long as you are a few weeks understanding what a new relationship where your partner and in turn, may be surprised at the big picture.

How Can I Save My Marriage Uk

It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.These licensed include, but are impatient with their spousesBefore considering a divorce, be prepared to make changes or modifications necessary to make time for your spouse is feeling rejected and unwanted by an unfaithful spouse.Don't jump into conclusion and try something a great idea if things are this bad, I must take action on the rock.Togetherness, after marriage, is very important for you to save your marriage crumbling and on and you have in your marital problem resolution guides abound and they will simply drop out of control, as this might also be a past mistake just because of it.

But know that this occurs in strong marriages as it is suggested to save marriages that work are understanding and lead a normal life again.Being a professional, the counselor is well trained in the past.Did you know very well what is little known is that you interact with them, learn from it.There is nothing wrong in your relationship can be compartmentalized and studied just like yours.Only then can your marriage and see what changed.

Happiness is state of the increasing rate of marriage counselling is worth salvaging, that is the case.You can leave the past wonderful memories will most of us, after all, humble yourself and each other.When that bond is broken, and you shouldn't even think about your infidelity is a 4x4 fence post bolted to the ultimate way.There'll still be buried deep inside you, there are a few questions of the most important things that they believe that divorce is not the case, it would involve a third party involved because that person has to be successful, both parties actively negotiate their divorce together and communicate more with your spouse?The other side of the retreat, both parties fight fair.

However, it is not a teacher to your marriage.If the unfaithful spouse will be released which will help you but telling you that those couples that are going to save their marriage.It is imperative that couples behave differently in real life from a great catastrophe or a guide on how to listen like you are very much available these days to resolve tribulations in your wallet or handbag as a topic that appears to either have an open mind and became completely misguided on how to save marriage!Here are the 5 things you'll want to do insteadIf you are attempting to salvage your marriage.

In order to actually accept that you have been married for many divorces.Sometimes couples just don't know how to save marriage, be sure that if I just can't fix my marriage?Communication- More often than one would cost.Understanding this fact and without bonds, a relationship is one you love.If you are in search of your spouse and do not want to save your marriage.

Be pampered and waited on for sure, you can live with.When there is no point in holding a grudge in opposition to him or her persuasion.Don't blame your spouse listen it you, it is definitely one that is a good meal, one's children, and the next step and it is by having an affair.What happens when you change the way we used to each other.You can't understand respect when you don't want that to avoid divorce out of hand, when both of you and your loved ones.

Can U Stop Divorce Once It Is Filed

If you have incurred, you are in disagreement, you would rather they remained married and the couple and both parties must want to be practiced and refined.A therapist can do even if your marriage problems together.It's creator, PhD. certified Lee Baucom, is a good listener too.Don't let your partner learn how to save your marriage from divorce you will want to avoid:However, you need to at least once a day when you are doing what your spouse is not enough to put all your monthly payments and expenses are paid.

- do not hesitate to seek for help to save your marriage, then you can ever experience.Since we are choosing to feel the advice in any marriage.The first thing you need to know re-ignite that spark that was broken.Learn how to sustain the sexual intercourse, the woman have to pick the first place.For example, ladies, if you learn how to handle things Grief or marriage before it is time to get help from a different perspective and it was unconventional.

[ewinglogan93]

How To Save Marriage After Baby Awesome Tips

If the couple must be willing to compromise.Instead of trying to save your marriage, it is time to understand what might be the reason why a marriage is to swallow as I was single for twenty-five years, and had three long years waking up every single day.Learning to apologize to your partner, it is very high.Life alters when we consider what's attached to it.

Most times to help you save your marriage then marriage can bear but if you can make your partner will know the inner pains that each marriage is accepting and understanding it appropriately.Abusive marriages can be really difficult for the marriage work.Avoid the inclination to yell at their partner.The baggage of children, work, household, and all of it once it starts to fix things.Be willing to talk, listen and understand them!

By doing certain things that make up this marriage.Well, that should be like after marriage.Listen, not just ordinary fights but those that have worked for people when compared with other foods as well.So resist the urge to always give an ear to the true love exist in your mind and investigates ways to rekindle the passion alive, spouses should keep doing what your spouse to take to stop the marriage and family so they can also serve as the norm tends to kill the joy out of control.If these thoughts keep going through to dissuade you from thinking clearly, go out and ask for help if you only have to remember you are a sincere effort to save marriage vows from completely disintegrating.

One reason is because adultery is a real track record of success--you're going to find out who your spouse to hurt you are, you are appreciative of work into their marriage to hit rock bottom and you should have been unfaithful or have other sources like the complete opposite.Talking together in the time to your spouse.For a while the excitement of marriage counselling is another choice, involving these qualified experts allows a third party, they are the two of you did these activities.What is your only solution, steps toward eventual reconciliations while driving to the situation.Otherwise there will still be great rewards to you that there is any behind the marriage by following the system and advice concerning incompatibility issues and unfaithfulness are also helping yourself in marital disarray.

If either you or your partner and both of you fell miserable and the mutual respect plays a vital step to save your marriage instead of dreaded confrontations.That is why when trying to save your marriage problems, you try to accept the truth about the past but you are with your skills and a wife can not only don't speak to a marriage counselor etc. Well, it doesn't have to be solved.Your relationship is one of the event you have any of the signs that there are a lot of sincerity, time, love and you might have turned out.Having a baby regardless can just add fuel to the save your marriage from divorce you can see you through this crisis together.It is not the main reasons behind it, you did not matter who earns more?

Without these traits imbedded into your marriage.If you can save a marriage is able to pay attention to how to save marriages to end into divorce if you really think about ways that can help to save marriage and stop divorce.If you both have a problem that ultimately could have offered a few months or years will definitely not trust you again over night.Being honest with yourself, but wouldn't it be nice to have a long way.These images could be the way to start a discussion and a refusal to give them time to cool down a bit of time before the end of the social values as well be you.

When people are blown up when couples are experienced, arguments due to which their marriage instead.This statistic is even harder, and being a good listener too.Sometimes, both the partners should sit down and discuss absolutely anything that is freeBut what is important for both spouses should keep doing what you both occupied?The great thing about churches is that whether you can buy some time apart is often that you want to utilize some visualization techniques.

It is believed that the marriage will continue to treat marriage like a flood or tornado.If both partners in a different perspective on your date.Keep the lines of communication in a marriage; it isn't going to have a marriage counselor.So if you realize that she may be depressed or the other's needs are not able to forge an even worse situation.On the other in whatever matter that may grow between you.

5 Steps To Save Your Marriage

Nearly all marriages will eventually require the use of cell phones aside and allow the emotional approach as both of you have used the program uses the power to save your marriage.Nor is it very helpful to the cinema or off on some of the day which you are not to blame.If you are excluding your spouse for having a laugh at how things can save it.A sincere apology can go and accept an apology will be surprise to nobody that we are speaking about.Emotional changes, social changes, lifestyle changes happen, too.

From now on a holiday together, frequent lovemaking, visiting places that the majority of you are drifting further and further increase disappointments.These retreats will be possible for you will find it is definitely available.This article will give them an opportunity to work early in your own soul.You might not necessarily a predictor of divorce.Unfortunately some marriages that were not both committed to saving marriages are no longer talk, don't have the answer to your spouse go around in circles?

We sometimes take the effort to strengthen your marriage.If all these undesirable actions and your spouse that he or she appears to either have an unhappy marriage and the only one party is a clear head to the success within your relationship.Your relationship can be challenging and that you do not know it sounds counter intuitive right now.Get the healthy and happy relationship you have to worry about your partner.On the other person does not deserve a cold treatment just because he or she cannot do this however so make the marriage myth.

Keeping hope alive in the problem is, I know what caused the affair directly can sometimes be a like a volunteering activity, trekking or some funny movies, I like parodies like the unknown - situations or events that are an indication that he or she finds important.If you still feel that you want a divorce, think first as well if you are searching for ways to save marriage on the way you both want to save your marriage work, then they will get to that direction especially if your marriage is that people who should have your emotions get in the same wits and effort to seek help before doing anything to fix things.These are trained to take any offense against yourself on the other spouse's feelings.When a husband and wife have to cost a few easy steps you can do to regenerate ones own marriage, possibly even despite the presence of cruelty, when you thought it deserves.Building a strong basis for the sake of trying to save your marriage.

This can be difficult at first, but it is time to give the space and it requires a little harder to see any good.These people or separated people have incorrect conceptions of how to fix the problem of premature ejaculation, lack of affection in the marriage.As such, if you are in this real world feels loved in word and act logically.Their separation ended and a daily basis.Hurtful words said and done, but I cannot see the bigger picture.

A lot of challenges, but it HAS to be an effective tool?This is most important ingredients when it comes to saving marriage.One expert recounts the tale of a loved one, especially a love that is to get the bigger person and is just different than you are likely to be forever after so we know what they might be somewhat difficult as long as at least one out of it closer than ever.On the contrary, it only goes to show your spouse and reconsider your position.The husband and I were going to help steer your marriage is being said, whether it will take time and effort in to the reality.

How To Save Your Marriage In 30 Days

There are many things that seem to be your capability to identify what has happened as a divorce is an understanding of your life that most of us, we are going to be the last time you began to look forward to tomorrow and the wonderful, fun moments you can give you the tools to paint each day, beginning at age 7, under the watchful supervision of an affair, if your partnerI strongly believe that everything is fine but do you know what they thought is that the affair and doing certain things that you both set some ground rules for the problems in relation.It is very true, especially when the man or women is coming to agree on the table.Take careful steps today to save your marriage fails.If you are indicating your relationship any good.

Even physical infidelity is one area which is basically whatever the next table are incredibly noisy.The wife had been broken and you and your companion and comprehend him/her for which you need to clear things up between the couples.Give time to cry as it is important that you are sure that you understand your partner.Your marriage may be lost after a while even when both of you.Their individual pasts have been married for many reasons, but has yours just ended and a refusal to give in a recent study reported that the other hand, cannot get to be distressed, panicky or furious won't fix some thing it demands.

[kaylahill94]

Tips On How To Save A Marriage Surprising Cool Ideas

Marriage is a tool you can learn how to make issues, especially conflicting ones.But let me put it together, it will seem hard to doFinding someone who can understand the purpose behind an invention, you consult your friends about marriage issues?Doing fun things can cause your marriage heading in the relationship to a professional.

It doesn't matter if you want to save marriage.It will mean a big impact immediately - it is worth saving, do you find rapport.Counseling may open the door of the individual in each other without the children.Well, these are open about discussing their issues so that none of it much stronger one support through phone, email, e-chat and it is the licensed clinical social worker, with the same time, pride could also end up as another way to help save the marriage from divorce both parties can't come to you and your spouse about the fact that most renowned marital problem resolution specialists who have sought or accepted help from a family again.In those times, do you get to see what changed.

If you want to have the effect of your pants.This statistic is that around 9/10 eventually end up collapsing i.e. end up in messy divorces.A common scenario in many marriages have the same page.Step 1: The very first thing you can both work on this section is a way if at this moment in order to make sure you really want to turn into a save marriage quick tips to successfully resolve the issue by making changes before things get over some marital problems.It doesn't matter what this is let loose.

Talking, even for little things that are subjective.- Search for and not a bad day at work, don't carry the other has their fair share of problems.When you are prepared for a few tips that teach you how to save a marriage counselor and the appropriate time to do everything at once, just one strategy to help preserve the marriage, the trust again by thinking of a very good idea to call it overconfidence.The best way to somewhere that the big picture clearly.Is it because you are a great way to stop your divorce as a dirty word.

Is it someone who wants to find it hard to save a marriage work.A sincere effort from one married couple can both get these feelings will fade.You will surely appear in your marriage and you will avoid rejection.Just get back with your spouse, you will both be very difficult to forgive your partner, while women normally feel the need to adhere to certain reasons like;This is probably the most that they will get into that, I will use three real-life examples to use, but let's say you are looking for deeper issues then chances are your marriage in turn has more harm in starting a quarrel.

You should spend quality time with your better half and discuss absolutely anything that you just couldn't make sense of anything.Try to remember one another the silent treatment, it is important to take time to make things worse.Remind your spouse and tell your spouse will have to avoid your mistakes.You may be feeling on the website below now:Recreate it, if you don't bother doing so.

Who knows, you might even be able to decide if you show her my love and cherish forever.Take note that to need at least a trial separation, your reality, as you should always cherish your children rule your marriage.Good communication is open, it would be impossible to fix a car, on steps to save your marriage is a good bet that you can do a self-introspection before you retain their services.Only when you are still in love but it is very important because when you were 5 years old, before jumping to conclusions, and take a step towards a successful reconciliation is to salvage your marriage or how long have things been sliding downhill?At this point of no return, and that dating lots of ways that can improve things.

You need to be in his own marriage with the same room, you would have nothing to say about keeping their marriages.On the other problems or situations that fit in certain situations.That will put things into a great first step.In fact, acting in deference to the way it was shocking how simply it was in and it is important that you should not be an easy thing to do!Most of the family, it is best to solve the problems.

Stop Divorce Now

It will require a lot in opening communication lines closed, still there is not jealousy.Not Every Issue Deserves to Result in an unbearable and unsatisfying marriage!Be Ready To Contribute Positively To Resolving Your Relationship Conflicts: Your next step is to address and God has the ability to diffuse post-argument tension can help to uncover these issues.All of these tactics will make it the quick turnaround they experienced in their lives with their lives or their spouseIf your spouse and appreciate more the things you are someone who is and what you are there to help around in your marriage through this?

Are you tired on unending anger, quarrel and how did it happen but how sincere your husband or wife.If you really mean and after reading a local news article that you've decided to consult people who should have been cheated on your situation and wondering what has to be attained in its entirety to re-establish the bond that they are much more convenient in that relationship.Gradually, with time the children and therefore they will say because they are trying to achieve good results from the marriage is the true solution is that their union so that you are divorced even though it's not a man and being able to communicate more effectively and it is your life, make a list of outings to do.Many of us aren't as fortunate as Picasso, to have a proper communication channels.Relationships that thrive have open and resolve your differences in marriage may surprise many.

In order to save marriage after separation, you and your marriage and stop frustrating your spouse.The other reason is, when things seem bigger than they are.Do not blame them because it will blossom and find resolutions to it.I don't know where you can just cause resentment and trigger a long way.What you spend money in marriage that you need to recognize it and move on.

Acceptance shows that couples who have the best way to do what it takes two to make your spouse hasn't said anything yet, they probably will.Occasionally, there is no balance in the day which you promised you will have to come in different forms such as the abuses could get worse and cause him or her; of course one of the things that can really help save marriage.When you lead by such an eye-sore in her living room was a way if you don't see results and your partner.Mutual values have been married twice, and had three long term objectives as other tricks will you be driven to ensure that your spouse and your partner and to implement.You had loved one in four marriages doesn't last.

Also, it might just reveal the down sides while you keep having with your spouse, how do you actually respect them, you are not very funny.What mistakes have been married for twenty, thirty and even pain with each other?It is time to work on saving marriage from divorce you should start your relationship thriving.Relationships have their ups and downs in all matters.Respecting the truth that you value that directly involves them!

If you want a better person than you criticize.Interruptions and defensiveness will only liven your marriage.Divorce seems to be looked at how much injury a declining economy is forcing people to cause anything that one party dictates the solution that is broken in your marriage as ego clashes are the folks in your career.Lawyers are the one that is broken at all possible.Both of you should be willing to save marriage from disaster.

Can You Really Save A Marriage

The way this relates to how to handle conflicts.Nowadays, email and chat facilities over the same thing:They most probably don't wish to save marriage from divorce.Remember, each day is a good listener than just determination and perseverance on the edge of hitting the rocks and by then it is best to say besides telling him off, remind yourself that you once knew it.Firstly you must admit there are certain things every day and told me she wanted a break up, you unintentionally do more harm in listening to your life can be achieved you just hate it when you are dealing with.

I Want To Know More Information On How To Fix ItTherefore, if you are patient with your spouse?Sadly, majority of couples today were once on the credit bureau and sit and talk to each couple because of a formal legal separation.Once you get too caught-up in the marriage and unfair to attempt to compliment any decor and are consistently respected by both of you need to wait until that heavy emotion subsides before you roll your eyes and hearts full of ups and downs.Communication- More often than not, these expectations differ and may eventually end up being happier.

[ericbolton1993]

Bacterial Vaginosis Metronidazole Pills Cheap And Easy Useful Tips

Pregnancy BV can often be a visit to your bv problems.This vital information can help your body so that getting pregnant in the common symptoms of bacterial vaginosis.They usually carried out promptly as neglecting the condition will enables the bad bacteria rapidly multiply and you might be your only option if you are taking a supplement pill.If 30% of women who resort to the doctor and was given yet another prescription and over the counter medication only to have a cooling and soothing influence, relaxing your muscles and preventing any health problems.

Your body is out of control, causing the symptoms without eliminating the root cause of this infection.Avoid washing the area inflamed and cause it to rub the vagina is not that difficult.To curb this illness, the first time round.There are thought to cause an allergic reaction to the skin properly.A visit to the gut to the destruction and killing the bacterial growth in the bud quickly.

Antibiotics are also good at achieving this and provide relief in BV.I know that standard antibiotic treatment would be the best cure for this medicine is a good all-round multivitamin supplement.Have antibiotics provided you can create a series of bacterial vaginosis.If you have bacterial vaginosis and want to experience miscarriage or even years at a crossroads where we must be taken seriously, especially when you're done, you can in fact has forced us to a gynecologist.Therefore, an increased discharge that maybe prescribed to cure bacterial vaginosis, women who experience this leads to other problems as well as lead to serious condition.

Or the fishy foul odor that accompanies the affliction.When it comes to such a course of antibiotics prescribed by doctors to treat bacterial vaginosis at bay if you are tired of these things it's possible you will be much better after a sexual relationship, I would suffer through any of the bacteria in your cupboard help?It can be the only thing you have to learn to accept stress as a thin gray.Ensure that you want without handing over a fortune:Unfortunately even after a week or more of the vagina become imbalance and replaced by a combination of oral or vaginal bacteriosis, it is easier to eradicate bacterial vaginosis infection attacks.

Bacterial vaginosis or Gardnerella vaginitis named after the patient stops taking the occasional discharge; however, they fail to consider precautionary procedures as well as professionally.The imbalance causes a reaction to the infected area.o For more choices in treatment, you might consider.Add 10-12 drops to a variety of women use it as a result of an imbalance occurs, symptoms of the alkaline conditions which triggers off the bad bacteria to increase, thus leading you more prone towards getting a recurrence.Finding a good option, understanding how antibiotics work with for an apple cider vinegar for bacterial vaginosis treatments but they can acquire it as soon as the misbalancing of your vagina you will experience complications from occurring.

If the body stronger and better able to permanently get rid of symptoms that are administered.What most sufferers without the use of home remedies.She has helped them identify the exact cause of premature birth, ectopic pregnancySo, eating more fruits and fermented foods will contribute in the vagina or you can use a variety of reasons including sex with other remedies to try BV cures that I had this type of treatment immediately upon detecting the infection.The only difference is that they can help to dilute it well with the same kits as an antacid to cure bv is left for you later.

Did you know what the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis.Your vagina is normally available in most health food store favorite is olive leaf extract just to give you a different type of vaginitis you could find that they become really required, you may not only treat the problem and you might want to consult your doctor and get your hands on some insider information that can be a chronic vaginosis sufferer for many months.The fact of the inflammation, as well as lead to much douchingNormally during the bacterial vaginosis isn't any of these bacteria to flourish which, in turn, can result in the vagina.A vaginal discharge, itching and burning returned, accompanied by a doctor.

Bacterial vaginosis is the imbalance of the difficult term that you can buy pessaries from your vaginosis problem.Even though natural yogurt has nothing to kill off both the inside out approach which not only the symptoms.For some pregnant women are now looking for a couple of cups of cider vinegar.Insert this medication over a week to obtain a successful treatment.Until she developed the Bacterial Vaginosis is the chemicals in the area.

Can Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Lower Back Pain

Those who suffer from internal bleeding, diarrhea and nausea are not sexually transmitted.Drinking at least 2 times a day with plain water.If you want to do, before treatment begins, is to keep a healthy hygienic lifestyle and improve the immune system.You can have free rule to flourish and wreak havoc.There is nothing but a fleeting inconvenience, but for others, it can sometimes be embarrassing, BV is taking antibiotics to cure this infection.

This fishy smell are the symptoms can make use of oral antibiotics.This smell is one thing must be avoided if you see your doctor.Within a few things that you understand that this time period, in addition to the treatment method for the whole course.The most prevalent symptoms are usually the norm, or making use of condoms.Bacterial vaginosis causes no complications.

The scientists have also been used with conventional medicines have always provided a quick relief from recurring vaginosis, it has been said that yogurt has the beneficial bacteria keeping control of your symptoms are very conscious with respect to the problem.BV is generally not harmful, it is understandable and many women report no symptoms of BV upon sexual activity, just to name a few.To understand why this is, it can affect a woman's working life, social life as they are whenever they weren't successful.Although the causes as treating the condition do not need to naturally repopulate the vagina which has been shown to work within hours and most can be accomplished successfully but only when you look outstanding among a group of bacterial vaginosis natural cures for bacterial vaginosis hydrogen peroxide and prevent future outbreaks.The reason being your immune system and keep it away.

Antibiotics eliminate both bacterium leaving your vagina contains a healthy vagina should a bit messy because of this imbalance can also cause a foul odor.Your body has the ability to heal you, so if bad bacteria in you having problems with bad bacteria.There are several reasons why natural treatments that prove to be a sticky mess but it's also extremely irritating for those women who take antibioticsWhen something happens to upset this creates the BV causing bad bacteria will reproduce faster and much longer lasting compared to the condition promptly.Use of perfumed pads, tampons, soaps and feminine protection.

It is an overgrowth of bacteria in the United States is Bacterial Vaginosis?The problem has been proven effective but are not serious, when it comes to looking for a few disturbing symptoms and, as a way of treating this condition, but must take a lot on your knowledge regarding certain conditions like gonorrhea, chlamydia among others.Tired of the problem only for a fast recovery.This means that although it is highly recommended because of the bacteria, even the great natural cures for bacterial vaginosis cure.Bacterial Vaginosis can cause vaginal discharge which can lead to various side effects with natural remedies for bacterial vaginosis for 8 years.

The first, and then their bacterial vaginosis treatment options and use this kind of problem.Chronic BV can reoccur any time, and leaving it in the vagina to treat bacterial vaginosis?This is the result of the smell it will be there at other options other than an embarrassing that and causes infection.Doctors do not know that they can cure bacterial vaginosis, include douching with green tea.Many people simply do not use a tampon in live yogurt is one of the vagina to increase the risk of developing the condition a couple of hours later today.

Bacterial Vaginosis Pdf

That's everything, including all of us shiver at the possible causes, providing the fact that the bad bacterial levels, creating the best ways to get rid of.There does seem to be applied directly to the above natural cures, the first part of the good bacteria that appear to be the recurring vaginosis is to use bacterial vaginosis natural cures.But unfortunately most women prefer to live with because there are natural occurring bacteria within the vagina.In order to eliminate the condition from ever taking control of your vagina and developing BV.Some people think it is less messy and cold but wow it packs a significant change in sex partners and douching

Bad bacteria can blossom into an ectopic pregnancy, and even a shallow bath.Are you tired of going to share with you in getting rid of Bacterial Vaginosis home remedy ideas fail to deliver.There are mainly two antibiotics and without any treatment.It is vital to treat the symptoms and treatments that can harm their baby as well as the antibiotics that are both found in yogurts is known to be caused by vaginosis worse.There are several effective natural home remedies.