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ariars-art · 5 years ago

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First post of the new name/direction of this blog with my Linked Universe Percy Jackson AU! Meet the Demi-God boys!

After cleaning out my room a couple of weeks ago I found my old PJO & HoO books and my old obsession clashed with my new one along with my passion for mythology! I have a lot of stuff thought up about this AU and I’m going to keep riding the self indulgence juices for as long as I can!

Some info on the boys/the AU can be found below! Not everything is below, I would like to keep some secret/for the future ;) And feel free to ask/send questions about the AU, I would die of happiness if you did!

Wind -Son of Poseidon (God of the Sea, Storms, Earthquakes, Droughts, Floods and Horses) Counselor of Cabin 3. -14 years old. 3 years at camp. -He is a summer camper, and lives with his Grandma and younger sister Aryll when not at camp, they are unsure if his sister is a Demi-God as well. -Has gone on a few of quests so far, mainly ones that involved the sea including one to the sea of monster with his best friend/best rival Tetra. -Really excited about all his new cousins and family. -Hates being underestimated due to his age, he’s been on quests, he's a son of Poseidon, he’s just as capable as the rest of them! -Favourite part of his powers is his ability to talk to fish and horses. Horses don’t like him back though. Wild -Son of Hypnos? (God of Sleep and the Personification of Sleep) -Doesn’t even know his age, let alone his birthday. -A year round camper, well he’s got no where else to go. First year at CHB -All he remembers is being inside a nice plush cabin with lots of pillows a tree growing in the middle that leaked a milky colored sap that was dripping over his hands and lips. -Slept for a really long time and he guesses now he has no memory? At least that’s what Chiron told him. But why does he feel so guilty? -No quests just yet, he likes practicing archery trick-shots with the Apollo kids. -A daughter of Athena keeps trying to get him to eat frogs and bugs. Some of them make him feel funny. Twilight -Son of Lupercus (God of Shepherds and Wader against Wolves), Champion of Lupa (Wolf Goddess). Centurion of Cohort 3. -19 years old. 4 Years at Camp. -Summer Camper, goes home despite it being uncommon for Romans to do so. -Wasn’t found until he was 15, his father was too minor of a god to really draw any attention to Twilight. He liked it that way. He trained himself and it was enough to protect himself for a couple of years. -When he was 15, one of his mortal friends was killed the crossfire of one of the few monster attacks, afterwards he was taken to Camp Jupiter. -Whilst completing his training in the Wolf House under Lupa the wolf Goddess, the she-wolf took a liking to him and agreed to train him further than other Demi-gods and eventually took him on as her champion. -On a quest met someone and they teamed up and he fell in love with her despite knowing that she could never love him back. -Talk shit you get the stick Sky -Son of Zeus (God of the Sky, Lightning and Thunder. King of the Gods) Counselor of Cabin 1. -19 years old. 3 years at Camp. -Year round camper, but wishes he could be a summer camper like his girlfriend. -Very in love with his girlfriend who is a Daughter of Apollo, they knew each other as kids but never knew they were both Demi-Gods. -Has been on only two or three quests but they were very big/very important and needed the power of a son Zeus. Doesn’t like to think about his first quest. -Prefers to use his Wind powers over his Lightning Powers. -Feels quite bad due to the fact ever since he and his younger cousin (Wind) showed up at camp the number of monster attacks have only increased. -Jealous of Wind’s ability to talk to some animal, he wishes he could communicate with his bird.

Four -Son of Hephaestus (God of Fire, the Forge, Metalworking, Technology and Blacksmiths) Co-counselor of Cabin 9. -18 years old. 4 years at camp. -Summer Camper, goes home to his Grandfather during the year. -Quite small for an child of Hephaestus but that doesn’t put him down. -Known for stealing extra end of year beads from the Big House. -Sometimes seen talking to himself. -Is most skilled in weapons but has dabbled in creating automatons but all he ended up with was a cranky bird who likes to sit on his head, he named him E.Z.L.O. -”Yes I did flex and my sleeves fell off, shut up Legend!”

Hyrule -Son of Hecate (Goddess of Magic, Crossroads, Sorcery, Necromany and Light) -16 years old. 2 years at Camp. -Year round camper -Still quite new at all this Half-blood Demi-God stuff . -His Saytr guide got killed while escorting him to camp, managed to make the rest of the journey by himself. -His magic goes a bit haywire when he is stressed, last time he turned 3 members of the Hebe cabin in an acorn, plank of wood and a toaster for a few hours. -A little scared cause he feels unworthy next to all his siblings and all the other heroes in camp, but knows deep down he might be stronger than most of them. -Keeps taking the new Hypnos kid into the forest around the camp and sometimes they don’t show up again for a few days.

Time -Son of Janus (God of Beginnings, Transitions, Time, Duality, Doorways, Passages, and Endings) Former Praetor of Camp Jupiter, Former Centurion of the First Cohort. -Age unknown, but he’s quite old for a Demi-god. -Gave up the Demi-God life and his Praetor position years ago to go and live with his mortal wife. -Due to his powers he sometimes ends up walking through doorways through time and space. Thats how he ended up here. Not his first rodeo in this time though. -Was raised by a group of forest Dryads for the first years of his life before moving to Camp Jupiter. -Been on many quests, including one which ended up with him having to battle against the primordial moon goddess Luna. After winning the fight he took her sword. - “Look, I didn’t ask to be a half-blood.” Legend -Son of Hermes (God of Roads, Travel, Athletes, Diplomacy, Thieves, Commerce and Trade. Messenger of the Gods) Counselor of Cabin 10. -17 years old. 7 years at Camp. -Year round/Summer Camper, it kinda changes every year. -Currently holds onto the record for the most quests at Camp Half-Blood. Kinda proud but also kinda over it. -Hoarder of all sorts of items, unknown where he gets all these items from. -Bonded with Hyrule while he was holed up in Cabin 10 before his claiming by Hecate. -He sees a possible opportunity in the son of Poseidon to help him return to the mysterious island he wash up on years ago. An island where he fell in love with a goddess who could never leave. But he is going to find a way, he will. -Stole a pair of his dad’s flying shoes, but turns out they were kinda a dud. Can’t fly but can run really fast. Warriors -Son of Mars (God of War and Destruction) & Legacy of Venus (Goddess of Love, Beauty, Desire, Prosperity and Victory). Praetor of the 12th Legion. Former Centurion of Cohort 5. -18 years old. 4 years at Camp. -Year round camper. He’s in charge so he’s got to stay. -At first thought to be another child of Mars with a pretty face he was placed in Cohort 5. He was quickly made centurion of the ragtag group of Demi-Gods and quickly the cohort was competing with the best of them. -He caught the eye of the current female Preator and when her colleague failed to return from a quest, she promoted Warriors to Preator, despite him not having completed the minimum 5 years of service to be eligible for the position. -Most well known for helping defend Camp Jupiter during a war a year ago, which helped solidify his new position as Praetor. But he feels guilty for every life lost in each of the battles. -A bit of a heartthrob who can't help but flaunt his double legacy sometimes.

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #legend of zelda #loz #link #percy jackson au #pjo au #twilight #wild #wind #my art #sky #time #warriors #legend #hyrule #four

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currywaifu · 5 years ago

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𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: playing pretend 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: minagi tsuzuru/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 3.5k words, 1 image

𝐚𝐧: tysm~ Everyday, my love for this boi increases. Also here’s the thing, I’m a hoe for fake dating. Listen, I can and would write so many fake-dating fics. Watch me apply every trope here lol. enoUGH ABOUT THAT, enjoy :>

He watched you stride over to him, quickly setting your bag down the empty space beside him. Before he could greet you, you slapped what looked to be a flyer in front of him. He was no Kazunari, but the tackiness of the hot pink mixed with crimson made his eyes burn.

“Hn? Did you design this or something?” He asked, turning away from the paper to look at you.

“Tsuzuru!” Watching you pout reminded him a little bit of his younger brothers when they wanted something from him, maybe that was why the brunet couldn’t help but tease you a little bit.

He’s known you for almost two years now, so he can already guess what you’re gonna ask of him. Nevertheless, he patiently waits for you to sit down and begin your business pitch.

“So you remember the cute but affordable cafe we went to two weeks ago right?” When Tsuzuru nods you scoff at yourself, “duh, you’re sleep-deprived not suffering from memory loss. Anyway,”

Tsuzuru intercepts you with a quip of his own, “takes one to know one, right? Who’s the one messaged me at 3 am?”

“It was important!”

“You sent me a TikTok asking if I was a toaster,” he watched the corners of your lips stretch upwards, “because you wanted to take a bath with me… you need help.”

You could only nudge him in retaliation. “It was a 3 am mood, okay? I was going to go to sleep already when I realised I forgot the assigned readings and I went all what the fuck.”

“Good grief… Seriously,” Tsuzuru laughed, shaking his head as he read the flyer more carefully this time, “2 for the price of 1 drink of your choice?”

Your eyes sparkled with excitement, “so the fine print does say it has to either be hot chocolate or milk tea, but like, still!”

“I have a shift 6 pm onwards, but,” well, not spending at all would be optimal, but exams finished two days ago and neither of you had the chance to reward yourselves for the hard work, “as long as we don’t stay that long.”

You giggled, trying to suppress your volume as the door burst open with the professor in tow, “you really are the toaster to my bathtub, the left AirPod to my right Air-“

“I’m regretting everything,” he groaned, “not that I mind getting discounts, but will you ever take someone else?”

“Listen, my fellow stingy boi,” with the most serious tone you could muster, you put your hands over his, “for as long as you don’t start dating, I will exploit you in all my schemes.”

As soon as 4 pm rolled in the two of you were out of the campus. It wasn’t the first time you dragged him into similar endeavours, neither did he have the heart to stop going along with you nor stop you.

Every now and then there would be a special offer or discount for couples, and Tsuzuru was your poor victim. It wasn’t bad, though. The two of you valued affordability and formed some kind of partnership in finding and sharing good deals on all sorts of products.

If that included coincidentally wearing the same outfit colour scheme and walking closer to each other, it wasn’t either of your faults if people assumed you were dating. At least, that’s what he’ll tell himself. If somehow his acting skills and your determination don’t win in the end, he’ll just chide you for bringing him into this and run.

“Looks like we’re not the only ones with the same idea,” you said, the both of you looking at the line just starting to form outside the establishment, “should we get the drinks to go? It’ll be less hassle than trying to get a seat inside.”

Tsuzuru nods, letting you hold onto his arm while falling in line for a special booth specifically for take-outs.

An unfamiliar voice, to Tsuzuru that is, calls out your name; the both of you find the couple directly in front you turned around to face you. When you grip his arm a little tighter, he knows something’s up. For a moment, you stiffen slightly at the sight of your high school ex-boyfriend and the girl beside him who was smiling as awkwardly as you felt. Quickly fixing yourself, you set a grin on your face.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You replied, stepping a little closer to the boy beside you.

Subconsciously you wrap an arm around Tsuzuru’s waist, and if he’s uncomfortable by that he doesn’t show it. As expected of your favourite actor!

“It really has! You getting the promo too?” With a wide grin, he put his arm around who you presumed to be his girlfriend, “she’s been craving milk tea, so we decided to get some ♡~” Oh? He wants to out-sweet you? Doesn’t matter if it’s intentional or not, he’s gonna get it. You can be petty too!

You pressed the side of your face against Tsuzuru’s shoulder, leaving just enough room for you to be able to reply back.

“Same here~ Tsuzu-kun and I really love the stuff here ♡ we can’t get enough of the flavours- oh, looks like it’s your turn to order?” Gesturing at the front of the booth where the cashier stared at the pair, the female proceeded to order while the guy kept talking. Inwardly, you wished you could tell him to shut the hell up. Was he always this talkative in the past?

“Well, it’s been fun catching up!” Catching up, he says? What the fuck did you guys catch up on? The fact that both of you had dates? Well, not exactly on your case, but he didn’t know that, “I hope you guys enjoy your date ♡!”

Before you could think of the most sickeningly sweet way to phrase a you too, Tsuzuru breaks his silence, “we already are enjoying, thank you.”

Your ex looks slightly shocked, before turning around. Holy shit, your brain.exe isn’t responding, do you close the program or wait for it to respond? Totally forgot that not only was Tsuzuru an actor, but a playwright as well. Of course he’d be good with dialogue.

You weren’t really expecting Tsuzuru to respond. Usually it was you who did the talking, you took responsibility for dragging him along all the time so might as well play the role of the sweet s/o, right?

Still, just one line from him was a pleasant surprise. And to your ex nonetheless!

When it’s your turn to order you quickly slam the payment on the counter, startling both the poor cashier and Tsuzuru. Before he could protest, you wink at him, “let me treat you for your hard work today!”

As the two of you left, your hand hung lightly on his arm, you swore you could feel eyes digging into your skull. You spun around, causing the man beside you to stop his tracks as well, but from what you could tell you didn’t recognise anyone.

“You alright?” Tsuzuru asks, sounding slightly concerned at your sudden action. You looked back to face him, before nodding to reassure him.

“Yep! Let’s go find somewhere to sit before you go to work. We still have some time to hang out.”

Neither of you noticed the two people staring at you from inside the cafe.

“Oi oi, ain’t that Tsuzuru?”

“Haa… looks like we’ve seen something we shouldn’t have?”

Finally sat at a park bench, you found yourself a little bit more conscious of how touchy you were being a while ago. Sure, holding onto his arm here and there when people could see was fine, but if he wasn’t okay with it you had to apologise.

“Sorry, was I too much a while ago?” He sipped onto his drink for a moment, before shaking his head. He looked slightly exasperated, but it didn’t seem to be directed at you.

“Was that your ex? He was kind of annoying.” You chuckled.

“Yeah, but like way back in high school so I’m not pressed or anything. Broke up through text, had the audacity to use text abbreviations plus send a heart emote with his message. Character limit, I guess.”

Tsuzuru’s expression twisted, and you couldn’t tell if what he felt was wry amusement or disgust. Both, perhaps? “That ain’t it, chief. He’s either an insensitive jerk or an, uh… insensitive eccentric… you’re really okay?”

Rolling your eyes, you brought back your hand to his arm to squeeze it to put him at ease. “Obviously! Tsuzuru, you and me, we make a great pair! Plus, your ad-lib totally shook him! Simple but effective, it was a nice touch.”

Just as Tsuzuru was getting used to the added weight on his arm, the pressure lightened up once again. You one-sidedly clink your cups together before you resumed drinking the beverage, “we should do this again sometime.”

Which part?

The two of you always went out to redeem promos and discounts anyway, that much was a given, so did you mean something else?

“Yeah, we should.”

He did not expect to be confronted within a minute of coming back to the dorm. Itaru, Kazunari, Banri, Omi, and Tsumugi all simultaneously looked at him upon his entrance in the living room.

“Good evening?” He greeted them, albeit a little awkwardly. Is he missing out on something? Were they playing some kind of mind fuck prank or psychology game?

“We were just talking about you,” Tsumugi started before quickly retracting his statement, “ah, wait, that sounded kind of weird right? What we’re trying to say is-”

“Tsuzuroon, I totes get why you never wanna go to mixers!” Kazunari interrupted, adding onto Tsuzuru’s confusion.

“Didn’t know you had it in ya,” Banri continues, “when we saw ya outside the cafe a while ago-“

Oh, ohhhhh. That’s what they meant?

For a moment, he feels a smidge of relief from figuring out what he was missing out on, until his stomach plummeted once more. Oh, fuck, that meant at least Banri and some other guy saw him, with you. With your hand dangling on his arm, your arm around his waist, your face pressed up against his shoulder-

He can feel his face start to heat up, though he’s not sure if it’s more getting caught or more recollecting what happened a while ago.

“Can’t believe you’re dating someone now, GJ.” Itaru says with his shit-eating grin, before looking back down towards his phone.

He should really be clearing up the misunderstanding. It was simple- the two of you were just friends, you went together to redeem a promo, that was it.

“Hey, that’s not-“

“Is it someone from Yosei?” Omi interjects, looking a little bit thoughtful as he tried guessing who it could be, “Hmm… the one you’re with a lot, right? What was their name again?”

He prays to the first deity he could think of, which was for naught because Tsuzuru’s ears perk up as soon as the photographer says your first name. At a loss for words for how fast your identity was revealed, Omi’s chuckles get echoed by the other boys.

He didn’t get to deny it. He wouldn’t be surprised if by tomorrow morning, everyone thought the two of you were a thing.

Tsuzuru thinks this should be more of a pain to him, but he can’t will it in himself to be bothered by the assumption they have on his relationship. If for a little while he could avoid Kazunari wanting to bring him to mixers, he could consider this an advantage.

…

When your phone alarm rings you jolt up from your bed, panicking slightly until you realise that you didn’t have class today. Lazily stretching to grab your phone, you notice a text from Tsuzuru.

“Pfft, can’t believe I influenced him this much, lol.” You muttered, setting down your phone to make breakfast.

It’s not until you enter the kitchen that you realise you were smiling the whole time.

Other than a few knowing looks from Omi and a curious gaze here and there from the purple-haired one (you’ve come to learn his name was Juza), nothing really changed between the two of you.

Until Tsuzuru gets hit by the familiar sight of you rushing towards the table he was situated at. Your eyes weren’t brimming with excitement, no visible smile, so he braced himself for what you had to tell him.

“I need a favour. You can refuse if you want, but you’d actually be saving my life so hear me out please,” as if to put further emphasis on your current predicament you placed your hands atop of his.

“Go on,” he urged you.

“Not to be a fanfiction trope, but I need you to be my date at my old homeroom teacher’s wedding,” you groaned, “that my ex is also attending.”

Tsuzuru didn’t know if he should comfort you or laugh at the situation, “and you need me to go because-“

“Because,” you interjected, “that dumbass asked the group chat if he could bring a date, then encouraged me to bring my date too. Then my competitive dumbass was all like, yeah we’ll see you there!”

You hid your face with your arms, resting your head on the table. “Tsuzuruuuu, I messed up huhu. I only wanted to go for the reception, what am I doing with my life, I didn’t even like that teacher so why did I accept?” you whined.

Fake dating to redeem promos was one thing, pretending to be a couple in front of your old classmates is another thing, pretending to be a couple while attending a wedding is another spectrum of things.

“When is it?” You raised your head to respond.

“Next Sunday, 10 am. Reception at noon, probably.”

He’s not too sure why he keeps going along with your whims. It could be because you��re a dear friend to him, or he doesn’t mind all that much whenever you’d drag him along to fake-date to get sweet deals hang-out, but he can’t deny that being with you is a nice feeling lowers his stress levels.

“I’ll be your date,” Your eyes immediately snap up to meet his, still traces of hesitance on your face.

“I could totally just make up an excuse on why you or both of us can’t go, are you sure?”

Nodding his head, Tsuzuru was soothed by your usual, bright smile- spectacular to the point that it made him think of the rainbows that came after spring showers. He felt the corners of his lips being tugged upwards; before he could calm himself you wrapped your arms around him, a spontaneous and affectionate embrace.

“Thank you, thank you! Gosh, I love you!” You squealed, and his plan to calm himself down failed ultimately. He was glad your face was buried against his chest right now, at least you wouldn’t be able to see the rising flush on his face; then again, you probably could detect how his heart writhed and thumped.

“What colour are you wearing?” He finally asked, refusing to acknowledge the slight displeasure as you let him escape your caged arms.

“Green or teal, maybe.”

“We’re in your room exactly why again?” You propped your hands on your hips, giving him a look that said really, now.

“We need to practice touching each- okay, wait let me rephrase, ugh…” trailing off, you sat yourself down on your bed as you covering your face with a pillow, your voice coming out muffled, “casual touching.”

“Don’t we already touch each other?” Lowering your pillow to peek at Tsuzuru, he turned away from you in apparent embarrassment, “you know what I mean!”

Tension was building up in the room, much to your chagrin. Tsuzuru had a point. Even though you initiated affection pretty much all the time, the two of you already had a bunch of pre-planned poses to convince people that you were dating.

“I guess I just wanted to do more…” it was hard for you to admit that to yourself, much more out loud, but it was the truth. You didn’t have any grounds to ask more of him, but selfishly you wanted him to reciprocate your affection.

You could swear up and down that it was just you craving affection, but the truth of the matter was that it was his affection you wanted- you craved being physically and emotionally close to him.

The line you drew was getting blurry. You didn’t want to ruin anything.

The weight on the bed shifted.

“Hey,” Tsuzuru looped an arm around your waist, gently petting the top of your head, “don’t overthink this. Just be natural, whatever you do I’ll go along with and vice versa. This is just the same as all the other times.”

It didn’t feel like it.

“Thank you,” you replied, releasing the pillow from your death grip and lightly hugging it instead, “I was overthinking it. Can you stay for a while, or do you have to go? I feel like watching Whisper of the Heart.”

Tsuzuru scoffed lightly, “We watched that last time. Laputa: Castle in the Sky or nothing.”

With a laugh you shoved your pillow at Tsuzuru, standing up from the bed. “I’ll get some snacks, brb.”

As soon as you exited the room Tsuzuru buried his face against the fluffy cushion, letting out a noise between ardour and agony. This was just method acting, they’ve done this before. No need to get all worked up about it.

As luck would have it, you and Tsuzuru immediately ran into a bunch of your old classmates.

“Ne? Is this your boyfriend?” One of the girls asked, giving him a quick glance, “your outfit matches his eyes! Love it~”

Tsuzuru coughed lightly.

“Shh, I was waiting for him to notice!” You giggled, looking into Tsuzuru’s eyes before looking away within a few seconds, “his eyes are really beautiful, I doubt I could ever do them justice.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Tsuzuru swoops in, curling an arm around your waist, “you look really lovely today.”

“Tsuzuru,” you murmured, heart hammering a little faster, wondering if he was being as truthful as you were.

In the eyes of the girls in front of you, they were looking at two bashful lovers, and they were eating it all up.

“Wah! I wish I could get a boyfriend as sweet as him!” With a pout, you situated yourself to stand a little closer to your date.

“Well don’t get any ideas, he’s mine~” you teased them, laughing along with the rest of the group.

…

When the vows of the couple began, you found yourself sniffling.

“I thought you didn’t like that teacher,” Tsuzuru whispered jokingly, but he reached out to hold your hand for comfort, brushing his thumb against your knuckles.

You ignored him, actively listening to the bride’s speech.

“Falling in love with you was like entering a house and finally realising I'm home. When you smile at me, I feel the glow of the sun against my skin. When your eyes are locked on mine, it's like I can see countless of stars instead of just pupils. Having you in my life makes me feel like everything's possible in this world, we simply work together. With you, I’ve discovered so many things, things I’ve come to treasure, but the best discovery of all was love.”

Eyes stuck on the scene in front of you, you failed to notice the look of longing from the man beside you. It was as if the words uttered all applied to you, and yet somehow the words he could write about you wouldn’t be enough to express what he felt.

He settles on retrieving his handkerchief from his pocket and gently dabbing it around your eyes.

…

The whole reception was a bliss that came and went too fast for your liking. There was the plus that your ex miraculously couldn’t attend the reception, as well as the chef’s kiss worthy buffet, but you owed it all to Tsuzuru.

It was the same feeling for Tsuzuru, who didn’t feel awkward or out of place the whole time with you by his side. He kept looking forward to the next thing you would do, regardless if people were even watching the two of you or not.

When you let him feed you a slice of cake.

When he used his thumb to wipe off the crumbs near your lips.

When you rest your head against his shoulder.

When he cheered for you even with an unsuccessful bouquet toss.

Nothing felt faked today.

After saying your goodbyes to everyone, the two of you headed home hand-in-hand in silence. Every time you took a glance at the man beside you, so much feelings burst from within, but words themselves could not escape.

Stopping outside your apartment, you let go of one hand.

“Thank you for today,” you whisper, cupping his face to kiss him right where the corner of his lips ended, barely missing them. Tuning out every noise but yourselves, you heard his breath hitch.

“Are… are we still pretending?” Tsuzuru waited with bated breath for your response.

Mustering up all your courage, you shake your head. “I’m not. Are you?”

Squeezing your hand, he pressed his forehead against yours, “I’m not either,” he said quietly, before softly pressing his lips against yours.

want to order again?

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#tsuzuru minagi #minagi tsuzuru #a3! tsuzuru #cafe: dessert menu #a3! game #yes i would fake date to get a discount #a3 actor training game #a3! actor training game #act! addict! actors!#tsuzuru minagi x reader #yes im a hoe for tsuzuru what of it

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kariachi · 4 years ago

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Okay y’all, it’s the big day. The latest of the Ben 10 movies, after which I will be fully caught up on the franchise and can unblacklist it finally because two days is too damn much already.

I’m going in with, pretty much no info? I’ve watched one trailer, don’t even know if there’s more, and gotten hints of spoilers. Enough to worry for my son but not enough to actually know anything. Which, given Kevin is about all I care about, tells you some of how I feel going into this. Am crossing my fingers and hoping this ends with him in a really good space and having nothing to do with Phil because I have been worrying about that since I learned he would be in this.

Don’t trust that man as far as my piddly arms could throw him and anyway I don’t want Kevin anywhere near any part of the Forever Dipshit unless he’s actively dismantling the fucker. Asshole deserves to get turned into a toaster. Haven’t heard any ‘oh your reaction is going to be fun’ sort’ve stuff from anybody, so fingers crossed.

But, we can’t know anything until we get into it, so, Ben 10 Versus The Universe.

An hour 12 minutes, yeah it looks like my initial estimate might be accurate. I will be here the entire damn day.

Ooo, it’s own intro, very nice.

Okay, 1) like that intro, very much in the style of the other series and I like that about it. 2) Spent it wondering if they were going to include Kevin in the rogue’s gallery runthrough and instead it literally ends with the Tennysons and Kevin in the Rustbucket, Kevin being his normal little shit self.

Maybe watching this when I was on the rag was a bad idea because y’all I am already in tears he’s enjoying himself so much. My precious son. Gods I love him.

Can I just sit on this frame for an hour, would that count? Can fill the time with telling you how much I love my son.

Ben 10 Versus The Universe: The Movie (The Game: The Gameshow: The TV Series)

They brought in fucking everybody for this. Kelly is at the bottom of the list but I am putting my trust in her. Seriously y’all I am so happy with her work on this show, I knew the reboot was going to be good as soon as I learned she was going to be working on it, she is a delight.

Okay, actual show, apparently we’re starting at what looks like a small base. I don’t know for what. it looks like they want me to think it’s military but also yeah no. The pool is throwing me off the most, I think. I mean wtf?

Oh look, Smythe shit. A steam-powered airship-zeppelin. And Ben as Heatblast handling the situation, as one does.

Ben is so tired. He needs a vacation from this vacation so damn bad. Somebody else handle the villains so he can get like, two weeks to actually relax.

Ah, it’s an industrial server farm. I don’t know enough about those or if it’s even a thing to give an opinion. Smythe wants it gone though, to the shock of nobody.

He wasn’t to wipe out telecommunications so we’re left with telephones as our most advanced mode of conversation.

Ben, meanwhile, is asleep. Can’t blame him.

Ben is bored. This shit is like clockwork, he could probably save the day in his sleep at this point. Especially from Smythe.

“I’m not even breaking a sweat, and I’m on fire!”

Ben saves the day, hardly even has to try (pretty much doesn’t) and in the end even Smythe has to agree this is getting repetitive.

Huh, Max and Gwen were in the doom-ball.

Max and Gwen are not impressed with Ben having been bored while they were under the threat of danger. Ben has the very valid point that they really weren’t at any risk, even if they were in a mine.

Max, while talking about staying ready for the unexpected, gets a phonecall.

Ben: “Bet you anything it’s Phil. He’s got some big emergency and we’ve gotta go somewhere and look at something.” Gwen: “You don’t have to be so smug. Not everything is a dire situation.” Max: “It’s Phil, we gotta go to his lab and look at something. He says it’s pretty dire.” Ben: “Like clockwork.”

Honestly I’d be bored too. This is why they needed to add Argit, something to mix things up, change up the style.

Unfortunately I didn’t get any ‘your reaction is gonna be so fun’ messages so I don’t think we’re getting Argit. But hopefully, given space and Kevin are involved, we will receive an opening for later Argitness.

Hello Phil. I still don’t trust you. You have been nothing but vaguely suspicious shit on top of vaguely suspicious shit every since the season 1 finale and with your history in the other series? Where you were a dipshit from the word go? I wouldn’t leave you alone with a beanbag chair.

Ben, not taking shit seriously, Gwen unimpressed, Phil stating that actually it may be the end of the world. Honestly fuck it save the children let it die. The reboot sequels can be Ben, Gwen, and Kevin traveling the galaxy trying to, ya know, survive and shit. They gather an Argit on the way who honestly is amazed these three didn’t die within a day and half. Tell me you wouldn’t watch that!

Do you even have a bedroom or anything, Phil, or is that building just all lab? Do you pull a Kevin and sleep on your tech?

I don’t trust this giant-computer room. It’s giving me FD vibes.

Anyway yadda yadda object heading straight for Earth, we continue

Ben is so excited to have something new going on

Phil thinks this is a massive meteorite. I’m going to guess warship because I’m fairly certain I remember Incurseans being involved somewhere and honestly.

Oh Ben

I’m like 3.5 minutes in

Ben: If I turn into Cannonbolt you guys can launch be at the meteor and the impact would make it go kablooey Gwen: You and the meteor would ricochet off each other sending you into deep space with no way back Ben: I’d never have homework again Gwen: Ben please

“After months of analyzing your Omnitrix-” I swear this show’s relationship with time will drive me to drink

Phil, do you really think you have time to try to properly prep the child for space? I mean you’ve got over an hour of movie but in-universe

...Phil, why do you have a g-force simulator? And where the fuck are you fitting it?

Okay, seriously, I am concerned at this point by the shit he has on hand. Also why are they focusing on FourArms, mix it up, there’s nine other aliens available

You guys realize you don’t have much choice but to send him anyway? I mean unless you intend to hunt down Kevin and sacrifice him instead which, honestly would be in line with his adult interactions so far and honestly space was good for him in the sequels so maybe it’ll be good for him here.

Ben is so excited and Gwen is so done.

Upgrades to the armor shit have been unlocked.

Problem being, the new armor makes Jetray look, very humanoid. I am not impressed.

Gotta hand it though, Boy can get some speed now. Holy crap. Hate to see XLR8 upgraded.

“We’ve only got one shot at this” Ben’s moving fast enough I think you’ve got a solid three or four

Gwen, Gwen are you having an existential crisis? He’s passed the moon, he’s not coming back down anytime soon.

Ben please

And Ben lost that game of chicken with the meteor, having swerved away at the last moment, presumably because the Omnitrix has the whole ‘you are not dying you fucker’ thing going on

And Ben has been flown right into a fucking vortex of some variety or another. Welp.

Thirty seconds until the meteor hits, nobody knows where Ben vanished too, Phil is resigned, Max is blank, and Gwen looks fucking haunted. Poor kid does not deserve this. She needs a vacation from this vacation too

Oh Gwen, baby

Welp, everyone is fairly certain Ben is dead. Good news is, you won’t outlast him by long the meteor should take out earth in about four seconds

Motherfuck- If you are going to just vanish can you not wait until one second before you’re supposed to hit a planet?!?! Fucking rude!!

Motherfucking Vilgax! I should’ve known! Only you would be so rude! Also how much shit was your little ramshackle pod encased in that it was mistaken for the largest meteor seen?

So, Vilgax is here on Earth and our only defense is Max, Gwen, and presumably Kevin. Either Kevin is going to tap into some pre-reboot murder instincts or shit is about to get bad.

Ben has been carried through the wormhole to, Kinet? I think that’s Kinet, give me a second- No! No it’s Petropia! Listen it’s been a while let me live. Why drop Ben here? wtf is going on?

Swimming through space because your ultra jetboots stopped working

Somebody is watching this child. Who? We know not.

Ben: *times out* Omnitrix: Fuck no *builds spacesuit*

Ben, worried he failed and doomed Earth. It’s okay, it was just Vilgax. Once you find your way back home it’ll all be good.

Sudden spaceship. Also is space just, purple? Is that what’s going on here?

Oh look, Incurseans. Hi.

Omnitrix takes a while to register an alien language and start translating, which makes sense that it would take a little bit for a translator like that to kick in, the tech trying to figure out what language is being spoken. Don’t think I’ve seen that before in a work, very nice. Also the language is literally Incursean so, that’s nice to know. Handy for someone like me.

...Ben is being arrested by the Incurseans for multiple violent crimes perpetrated across the universe. Did not expect that from them.

Also Azmuth, please explain to me what precisely you did with this watch before you threw it at Earth?

...How you could mistake Ben for Vilgax I do not know, but it’s nice to know it wasn’t Azmuth causing wanton destruction and chaos? I guess? This certainly explains how the bastard knew how the Omnitrix worked.

Takes Ben ten seconds of being amazed at and in love with the Omnitrix to register that they think he’s Vilgax.

The Incurseans know about Earth. I’m not sure if that’s a good, bad, or neutral thin in the reboot. The whole ‘arresting a fucker for crimes against the universe’ thing has thrown me off.

Ben plays along for a chance to escape, meanwhile you know Kevin would’ve snapped and argued and fought until they had to admit he couldn’t be Vilgax because Vilgax wouldn’t lower himself to biting.

(I mean it, look at that child and tell me he doesn’t bite)

Well, Ben almost escaped. Too bad Incurseans have those long-ass tongues

Humongasaur fighting an endless swarm of frogs

Ben just is having a day. Honestly it’s lucky Earth’s not going to get wrecked by a meteorite because otherwise he’d be fucked.

Team Tennysons is trying to track Ben down on Earth. Apparently Phil has found the Omnitrix’s signal and they’re tracking that. Three guesses who they’re about to find and the first two don’t count.

Phil: He crashed from space so he might be- Tennysons: Finish that sentence and die

Yeah, the red flashing doesn’t clue them in or anything

And the energy signature looks different. Gwen, darling, you are experienced enough to know exactly who you’re about to find in a cave in the middle of nowhere in the desert (because of-fucking-course, my goddamn disaster)

How is the red flashing not cluing you in? Ben is green, Kevin is red, and together they make one whole Christmas.

Kevin hauling ass, presumably either because something is wrong with his watch (my poor son) or because the Tennysons calling him Ben is freaking him out (my poor son) or both (my poor song)

Okay, Gwen, the tone wasn’t awful but still, was not nessecary to put that emphasis on ‘Kevin’ after the ‘it was just’. Alongside the almost aggravated look when you finally put the pieces together and realized it was him? I know you’re worried for Ben but come on. You hunted him down, he is innocent in everything.

Also can we talk about, something is clearly wrong? I guessed something was wrong with the watch, I think I was right- Kevin was groaning after timing out, holding his head, it’s not normal.

The first thing my son says is telling the Tennysons to get lost (quote “You heard him, hit the road” after Phil tells them to call him when they go back to their search), which isn’t surprising given the look on his face after Gwen’s ‘it was just Kevin’. Something is wrong and now he’s upset on top of that because, well, we know him and how he feels about not being appreciated.

Also holy shit the framing, with Kevin on top of a tall rock in an empty cave, with his back to the Tennysons, making up just a small part of the shot. Really emphasizing just how alone he is.

(Dear reboot give him his rat and prison-dad for fuck’s sake)

(Nobody sent me any ‘your response is gonna be fun’ messages, so I’m assuming I don’t get Kwarrel either, damnit. I can only hope for openings for later Kwarrel in the franchise)

Oh. Oh my son. Oh something has gone very wrong and he is shifting uncontrollably. He has isolated himself so nobody sees him like this. My baby. My precious little perfect child

Notice that he is shifting uncontrollably and he has still not taken off the watch, which would be the obvious answer to the dilemma. So why? Was he too busy freaking out to think of it? Or does on or off not matter anymore?

Tennysons: Why don’t you come along and let us help you? Kevin: Fuck you and your talking car too

“I built this. I should be able to control it.” Oh Kevin...

“And that’s amazing!” And Kevin has no fucking response (except to be a crushing wreck but, I’m deducting the half point and moving on). Praise? For his work? Is that legal?

My son. My heart.

“I didn’t do it all on my own. There was kinda this weird dream.” Said while he’s making his way down to the Tennysons because in the end all he needs is for someone to call him amazing, give him praise, notice him, appreciate him, acknowledge his worth.

The Tennysons recommend letting Phil help because he helped Ben and Kevin’s response is, quote “I’m. Not. Ben! And this isn’t the Omnitrix, it’s the Antitrix*.”

*First time Kevin’s watch has been referred to by that name in the show. Prior to this it was always called a watch or an Omnitrix.

There is so much fucking going on in Kevin tell me we’re learning some of it here I’m begging, give me the inner workings of my son

...pause a second, I don’t wanna look it up because I’m worried about spoilers, but does Kevin’s watch look different? The strap system is different, I’d swear it. Or maybe I’m wrong, it’s been a few days since a Kev episode...

Kevin pointing out that he’s not a Tennyson, denying ever doing anything to help them, wondering what their deal is, claiming they should hate him (my fucking son! someone get this child a dad and a rat, a blanket, some cocoa, and some fucking love and affection!)

By the way, I’m almost 20 minutes in and it’s been over two hours. Kevin is here now, things are probably gonna start going slower.

The Tennysons letting Kevin know they don’t hate him. Max straight up saying he doesn’t seem like a bad kid, just a lost one. Which honestly is very true, he is a good child he just doesn’t really... he’s a mess and there is so much in him and so much of it sour and just- He needs love. Proper, healthy love and guidance by someone who’ll look out for him, put his needs first. It’s why I want Kwarrel back- he, Gar, and reboot!Max have treated Kevin the best, been the most healthy adult interactions he’s had, through the franchise. Kwarrel could be the adult figure he needs in his life, but he got the one episode and nothing and just- I just want the best for Kevin.

“If you trust us, we’ll trust you.” And then Kevin agreeing to come along as long as his watch gets fixed.

Oh gods the smile as he follows them! Like, a moment of happiness for the child!

Vilgax set a city on fire. I take it he’s in a mood.

Yep. Definitely in a mood. Also how the fuck did you get out of the Null Void?

Oh look, we’re back with Ben. Honestly the least interesting part of this movie right now, though I love him.

Although I gotta admit, I never would’ve guessed the Omnitrix being used for a mistaken identity plot like this.

...okay unless he was thrown in the Null Void before you can’t charge him with that he was thrown in unlawfully. Or at least one would hope so. This is space so, the laws have been pretty fucked up in earlier series.

Y’all so not know the joy when you see “How do you plead” and go ‘he pleads not fucking Vilgax’ and then you hit play and Ben’s plea is “not Vilgax”.

Ben is fucking tired of people treating him like he’s Vilgax and you can’t rightly blame him.

Oh, look, Walkatrout. Hi guys! Nice to see you!

Oooo, hello spider-like babies! One second guys I gotta get you a screenshot!

I love them.

Also check out these fuckers!

Seems everybody and their mother is here to see this shit go down

Hi Tetrax. Care to tell us why you are here as a witness for the prosecution?

Welp, can’t see this going well

Tetrax, you lying shit, what is your angle? You have got to have something to gain from this.

Tetrax, describing Ben: “It’s like- It’s like a squishy little sack of organs held together with hair. And it’s head is enormous.”

Ben’s making another break for it

“-these are not the actions of the hero you claim to be-” Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Don’t sentence him to the Null Void you already know Vilgax can get out!

I’m impressed by how much these people believe in Vilgax’s acting skills. Like the fact that he’s acting nothing like himself and in fact 100% like the small child he appears to be only proves that he’s a good actor and not that, ya know, maybe they should check and see if they actually did grab somebody’s kid by accident. I mean it’s not like shapechanging watches are a one-and-done deal, a fucking 11-yo made one

And Ben gets dropped through a portal to, somewhere. It certainly doesn’t look like the Null Void.

Poor crying baby

“You don’t deserve to wield the Omnitrix, it belongs with it’s creator- me.” Oh fuck off, Azmuth. You let a squid have it for fuck’s sake.

Phil studying the Antitrix. Apparently the energy signature is very sporadic, but seems familiar.

Solar, Polar, please, we’ve got shit going on. Important Antitrix information. Could you not take a vacation? Take your mother to Disney World or something?

They’re at the fucking house because Phil has the most powerful radio tower in the country. Of course.

The Tennysons sent Kevin outside to handle them and he’s just standing in the yard watching them and eating chips. Telling them to shove off so his shit can get fixed. How is he not the most popular character in this franchise? Has he not earned a fucking spin-off?

Fucking Dark Matter running through the twins like tissue paper

Gwen, a firm believer in the art of ‘Kevin needs to fucking chill’.

My son sees cops and bolts. Nobody is surprised, given his everything. Honestly it’s probably the safest bet he’s got in anything in life- avoid cops.

“Whoever you saw on those security cameras it wasn’t me!” Kevin what did you do?

Is shocked to find the cops aren’t there for him, my poor son.

Kevin: *is just barely compared to Ben* This cannot be allowed to stand

“Proud? Of me?” Y’all the look on his face! My son!

Like he’s not entirely sure if this is legal but he’s not about to look it in the face! My baby!

Vilgax! Hello! I knew you and my son were both going to be here so I saved you a spot in the pit! Reserved seating, as it were

Fuck off, squid-boy, the kid built the watch fair and square!

Oh gods, tell me the ‘Vilgax was involved in the dream situation’ theory isn’t being proven here

Also the look on Kevin’s face when he’s noting having seen Vilgax before, somewhere between ‘wait a minute’ and ‘you, you are the one I must kill’

He was in the dream and my boy is freaked.

“Used you as a vessel to finally complete my own design” Vilgax you gave the child a dream with a blueprint in it. There is only so much credit you can give yourself. How did you even do that? Is this some new Chimera Sui Generis thing? Superstrength, tentacles, laser eyes, and fucking dreamwalking?

Is the Freddy Kruger of squid

As I said designing the piece means nothing if you go handing out the design to whoever. You can still patent the shit, maybe, but you can’t claim that whatever people made with said pretty-much-opensource design is your property.

Vilgax: It’s my design, give it to me Kevin: Fight me bitch

Kevin ‘Fight Me’ Levin

Ya know, I always though FD would be Kevin’s first kill but honestly it might be Vilgax.

I love him so much you guys. He is the most precious thing ever.

Kicks Vilgax’s arm as he’s going tor the watch, backflips away, perfect landing and out to kick ass

Vilgax if you wanted a kid who would just hand the watch over when you showed up maybe you shouldn’t have handed the design off to the most obstinate, anti-authoritarian, ‘you don’t tell me what to do’ child on the face of the planet Earth. You’d have probably had an easier time getting shit from Looma.

Poor gay couple who just got a car through the roof of their new house

Vilgax can talk shit all he likes, but Kevin is putting up a good fight. That’s another thing he maybe should’ve kept in mind, maybe don’t choose the kid who was doing perfect backflips presumably before he even got the stupid dream.

Okay, Ben is in the Null Void. They’ve tidied the place up since the OG series

Hello, species whose name I can’t remember off the top of my head. Good advice for the child thank you

Oh look, a Loboan, hello

There’s a whole mess of peeps. Including an Ectonurite, Vulpimancer, and Pisciss Volann

Dudes you already know Vilgax wants the watch why do you want to get his attention by getting it your own damn selves? It’s more trouble than it’s worth honestly.

These guys need to chill.

Yeeeep, deeefinitely need to chill

Ya know, Azmuth, if you wanted to show up and take your watch back? Now would be a good time? There’s a whole load of people here vying for it, earn the damn thing.

Hmmmm

Azmuth. Darling. Why are you in the Null Void? Why are you so firmly in the Null Void that fuckers know you and bend to your commands? The fuck did you do?

Everybody is talking shit about Ben today. He’s ten, let the child live!

Ben, out to kick Azmuth’s ass because he thinks he works for Vilgax because let’s be real, he’s had a fucking day and is also literally ten

Azmuth, just a rampaging dick wherever you find him

Also he has the Omnitrix back now

Jesus fuck, I just really want somebody to come step on Azmuth. Like, Vilgax is a dick but that’s his job, Azmuth is just, a fucking dick.

Azmuth you cannot talk about Ben being an infant and then turn around and say he should’ve known to kill Vilgax. He is a child.

Le gasp. Vilgax was Azmuth’s student. I’m going to assume you got thrown in here for not killing him your own damn self?

Benjamin Kirby Tennyson, annoying Azmuth into telling him the story of wtf happened with him and Vilgax

Young-Azmuth here is just, an image I never needed in my life. Give me Blukic and Driba back

Young Vilgax with goggles

And, shocker, Vilgax went ‘science is great but I can do you one better- universal domination’

Wow, Azmuth. Ya know if you’d had any braincells sufficiently developed you’d have known to kill him.

Azmuth. If you could have maybe one manner. A single etiquette.

Also, really? Sending the Omnitrix to Earth was the only option? You couldn’t destroy it now that it’s true destructive potential was known? Recode the damn thing to stricter parameters in a new coding language? Nothing else? Greatest mind in the universe and you couldn’t think of something, anything, besides sending it to a planet that would’ve been completely helpless if Vilgax had managed to get his hands back on it?

Ben: Okay, fuck you and your watch then, I’ll just go beat Vilgax myself Azmuth: Wait what?

Azmuth has set Ben a trial. You know the one, the ‘reach me within this time frame’ shit. If he passes he gets to keep the Omnitrix.

Attempt 1: No shapeshifting Attempt 2: Rath into Humongasaur

Attempt 3 starts with him having managed to end up outside of the trail area entirely

Azmuth is just a fucking dick. Ben points out that his entire goal is to save his planet from Vilgax, Azmuth blows it off because the fact Ben has his life’s work is more important. Gods just, being reminded how big a dick Azmuth is...

Azmuth, please keep in mind that the child is in fact a child

Ben and Kevin need to make friends so Kev can teach him some moves, he’d have kicked this Ectonurite in the head by now

Ben Tennyson, professional Good Child, saves the fucker that’s been giving him shit.

Ben figuring out new ways to use the Omnitrix and unlocking Goop!

Gods, Azmuth, now you gotta shittalk Goop too? Now you’re just being a speciest dick.

Ben saves a fucker, a fucker who’s been nothign but a shit to him, just barely fails the trial, and breaks down over not managing to beat it and save Earth. He’s so good you guys.

“Color me surprised that altruism still exists in this reality” you don’t get to make comments like that when you’ve been nothing but a dick the entire time you’ve been on screen

Azmuth has given Ben more time and a way out of the Null Void. Because it’s Azmuth, of course he’d rather stay there and wallow in his own bullshit that actually go out into the universe and do something about the problems he started.

Don’t waste your breath on him, Ben, he doesn’t deserve it

Dude he saved is now a Ben fan.

And Ben takes a sidetrip to save the Incurseans from a giant Null Void portal

And back on Earth Kevin is still putting a fight. He’s not winning, but he’s still fighting because he is a precious disaster.

The Tennysons trying to get it through his obstinate, broken little brain that he can accept help (and also that just because Ben does it doesn’t mean he has to refuse just to keep himself distinct from him (I am wording this badly but, I can’t word it right just now...))

It doesn’t work.

My son. Vilgax ain’t even tired and Kevin is but he’s still holding his own.

Holy shit Phil has a living room

And Gwen has become a hostage. Good job drawing attention to yourself kiddo.

Yes Gwen, bite the squid! It’s not doing anything but I appreciate the enthusiasm and the fighting back!

She hardly even counts as a hostage, Kevin went to straight punch Vilgax and the dude just threw her away. At least use her as a fucking shield!

“You must be under the impression that you are special, when in reality you were only good for one thing.” 1) Yeah, building what you couldn’t. 2) Kevin is a brilliant artist and engineer, good at athletics, with a natural talent for magic, all on top of a good sense of humor and a smile like the fucking sun, HE IS WORTH TEN OF YOU

Also, so far the movie has given me no reason to believe that he was given any parts or tools with which to build this watch so, on top of all that, all my earlier points still stand so far as far as Kevin being better than fucking Tony Stark with machinery. Is that why you threw the design at this foul-tempered, stubborn little thing, Vilgax? Not because you’re an idiot and he could build it, but because he’s the only one who could? I’ve seen no proof against it yet.

Okay giving us that, that fucking view of him after being tossed, fucking skipping over the asphalt, was not nessecary!!!

My son...

My son....

You did great sweetie! You were amazing!

My son.... My poor, battered, exhausted, son....

Also the fact that he straight up says he’ll try again later, which is just- I don’t doubt it. I don’t doubt he will wake up and immediately upon realizing his watch is gone head out to fight Vilgax again.

The fucking K on the antitrix turning into a V is aggravating for pit-related reason but also very thematically appropriate

Vilgax fucking chimerized himself. Fuck off, that’s Kevin’s thing. Just all about stealing from children

Vilgax steals his chimerism shtick and Kevin immediately starts regaining consciousness. My child

Extra toothy mouths too?! Fucking chill, squid-boy!

Kevin is up and moving and everyone is fleeing a pissed Vilgax in the Rustbucket. He is now on the hunt for Ben

Vilgax is, really putting them through the wringer and Kevin is not happy.

And Kevin, once they’re at Vilgax’s mercy, runs off to start shit once again with the fucker. Because my child is perfect.

He has hijacked fucking Glitch! Of course he has! My child! Harness the fucking Glitch!

He and Glitch, luring Vilgax away with ease because this man handles disrespect worse than Kev does.

The Rustbucket is scrap, but Phil might have an option.

And we’re back to Ben. When last we left him he’d worn himself out saving the Incurseans, straight passing out, and now, now we’re back to him.

The Incurseans saved him, and are apologizing for starting shit. Which is better than they were in past iterations so honestly I’m happy with them.

Incursean leader: You have legal permission to apprehend Vilgax Ben: I don’t know how to get home IL: We’ll take you Incursean Otherdude: We can’t enter warpdrive Ben: What about that wormhole I took before? IO: ...that would work IL: Great, let’s go!

They are going to scour the ship for Tetrax so they can bring him in for falsely accusing a 10-yo hero of being Vilgax

Back to the Best Boy and Glitch fucking psychoanalysing my child as someone who uses an abrasive attitude to ward of people who may hurt him but at heart is a good person

“Listen, if there’s anything I know, it’s how to adapt and survive. If anyone can deal with being alone with Captain Calamari out here, it’s me.” My son!!

And they’re caught. Somebody give Kevin a crowbar or something.

Holy shit Glitch sacrificed himself to give Kevin a shot! Fucking hell! That, I think that may earn back the half point lost for the Gwevin. Sacrificing yourself to save my son earns a lot.

Oh you did not just call my son sniveling and pathetic. You didn’t. You get the special pit with FD.

My boy is crying. My boy is crying. A squid is going to die. Thou shalt not suffer a Vilgax to live.

The first person to get me a picture of Vilgax being torn apart by Kevin 11k gets a drabble.

Glitch! Giving my boy the aid and encouragement he needs in this moment! You definitely get the half point!

Kevin, like Ben, is having A Day.

Did, did Glitch and Kevin just fucking biomerge? Taking my son up a notch? Oh yesss

Glitch has been working on becoming armor for Ben but, well, Kevin needs it right now and it did need a testrun. Kevin is so happy to get to use it first. Seriously I don’t know what happened in their backstory but, damn

My boy

Welp

Back to Ben and Tetrax really should’ve been ready to bail, taking so long is just unprofessional.

Azmuth paid Tetrax to lie in court. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. Nobody. I’m shocked.

Ben is letting Tetrax go because he’s like 60% certain he helped in the long run

*snort* Okay, like that fourth wall break.

Kevin and Glitch, still fighting Vilgax, to the surprise of nobody given Kevin does not cannot will not stop fighting

They work well together, they really do. Glitch is more entertaining when he’s actually working off somebody rather than trying to just, be his own thing.

Ben cannot catch a break today

The Tennysons in an actual car plus Kevin and Glitch, all fighting Vilgax together because fuck it, better than going it alone right now

There’s still another twelve minutes.

My son. My Son. “A pity you didn’t stand down while you still had the chance.” “I’d rather go all-in and end up squashed than stand around and let some slab of squid jerky like you stand around and take over the planet.”

Ben is back on Earth and ready to join the fray. Sorry Squiddly but there is no chance in hell you can handle Kevin and Ben at the same time. Actually I’m fairly certain Kevin’s not gonna end up a Tennyson half because of this fucking obsession with Gwevin and half because Kevin and Ben as family would end the universe all on it’s own.

The fact Kevin then proceeded to call him Squidly just makes this day better.

A lot has happened since you left, Ben. Everyone has been having A Time.

And Vilgax smacks Kevin away, doing that final bit of damage to take Glitch out of the fight. Which means Kevin is out of the fight, or at least will be in a minute because honestly I’ll be surprised if nobody sits on him after that last stunt he pulled.

We’ve got nine minutes, let’s see if Vilgax can stand up against Ben, especially after all the fighting he’s already been doing. Neither of them is fresh, but Ben is fresher.

Vilgax is kicking ass so far. C’mon Ben, use Goop!

My son! Acting like he’s not worth saving because he can’t be useful. I am going to hunt down his father and the FD and destroy them both.

Glitch can drain the car and start repairs. The Tennysons are being helpful and Good.

My baby! He is just, confidence has plummeted. Kevin, baby, you are the best thing on this show! You are amazing!

Max, pointing out that Kevin managed to hold off Vilgax on his own, and that he and Ben together can kick his ass. Phil backing it up with a ‘the world needs you right now’.

Yesss, support for my son, this is all I want in this world

“Stand back, I’m going after my watch.” What did I tell you. He’s getting that fucking watch back if he has to eat Vilgax to do it. He worked hard on that thing!

Glitch is falling the fuck apart, Ben is down, Vilgax is about to win, and Kevin is not looking like he’s about to stop anytime soon.

MY BOY!!!!! MY FUCKING SON!!!! THE PERFECT BEING!!!!!!

He dove at Vilgax as he was about to use the Omnitrix’s key to unlock more power for the Antitrix and managed to snatch it back from the bastard! Because! He! Is! Perfect!

Vilgax has still gotten what so far seems to be a net positive effect, but at least he doesn’t have the watch

He thinks he’s Jafar

Vilgax standing there monologuing about his own greatness and Kevin just calls him a doofus and launches at him as Bashmouth

Then straight to CrystalFist when caught to make vilgax let him go, he’s amazing.

Ben catches him as he plummets, fully armored up, it’s time for these boys to wreck some squid shit.

Vilgax just keeps fucking growing. We’ve only got like five minutes left in the movie, just stop.

Kevin just, no hesitation. He is going to fight a giant squid so help him god

Welp. They managed to land some blows.

The boys have been taken out, Team Tennyson is at Ben’s side. “Glitch is- is gone.” “What about Kevin?” “I don’t know, Vilgax hit him pretty hard.“

Phil. Phil what the fuck are you hiding? You are hiding something and so help me if it could’ve helped my boy earlier I will-

Kevin and Azmuth need to meet because Kevin needs to punt him.

Oh look, the frog-bitch is out of the Null Void and bothering the Incurseans. They don’t deserve this, they’re good people.

Oh look, Ben has unlocked Waybig. Fitting, I suppose.

It’s gonna be a curbstomp fight, there’s only a few minutes left and we still need to wrap this movie up. Hopefully confirm my son is alive.

I was right. Good fight, still very quick. And now we gotta deal with fucking Azmuth again.

And, shocker, Ben gets to keep the watch.

Okay, we have confirmation Kevin at least limped away. He was alive as of the end of this film.

11/11 thanks to quality Kevin content and Glitch finally earning my respect. I’m still serious about the Vilgax thing though- first person, a reboot drabble of their choosing.

#achi liveblogs #ben 10 2.os #ben 10 #ben 10 versus the universe

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godslayer04 · 4 years ago

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𝐿𝑜𝑜𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝑅𝑜𝓁𝑒𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎?

Look no further! Here I am always looking for new roleplays unless otherwise stated, as I often go through many that don't seem to last. So I'm always on the look out for a perfect, or at least, better, partner that will be able to keep up and stay. Below you'll find information on how and what I write. If by the end of such you find yourself interested and think we are compatible partners, shoot me a message here or on one of my other listed sites of communication and roleplay. See you soon!

A Little About Me - Online I go by Zibiqi, or just Z, even Dragon as an alternative if you'd prefer, I don't mind either way. I'm 20 years old and have been roleplaying for about seven or eight years. I live in the Central Standard time zone, if that's necessary information for you. Also, I don't think personal gender is important for roleplay so I won't be sharing that and don't need to know what you are either. (Really, you could be a toaster for all I care. You do you kid.)

Writing Style - I write in third person past tense, no other point of view and I won't roleplay with anything else either. Sorry not sorry. I also write as if I were writing a short story or book with a fair vocabulary and good English with as little errors as possible and expect the same in return. (Understandable if English is not your first language, I'll let more errors slide if you're still learning of course.) I also write upwards of 400 words a reply and more with a minimum of three paragraphs, though I prefer five or more. My rate of reply is also that of approximately once a day, more or less depending on the day and what I'm doing though I'll be sure to notify you if my replies will be delayed for any long period of time.

Genres - My go-to genre has always been and always will be fantasy, there's just so much that can be done with it and I'll never get tired of it. Most of my OCs are made for fantasy, but there are some as well as some plots that are sci-fi, fiction, and even horror. I am up for all genres but I'm used to a rather flexible roleplay style that comes with fantasy so keep that in mind, I won't knock anything until I try it. The only qualm I have is romance, which I will not do a sole plot of, romance will always be a subplot and therefore secondary to some other story. (Additional info regarding romance found below in "Characters and Fandoms.") If romance is included, then you must be 18+ and your characters must be 18+ as well, because that's the way it is and the way it should be. That being said, romance is only optional and if it's not included, then of course younger partners and characters are welcome. (As long as said partners can keep up with my writing style, then I'll accept it.)

Characters and Fandoms - It should be clearly noted that I only roleplay with OCs and will only roleplay against OCs as well. No canon characters or plots! I am more than welcome to do many fandoms and roleplay in those universes and settings with all rules applied, just with OCs. I also mainly roleplay as males, though I do have a few females I may use at my discretion. (Meaning I will decide if I want to use them, so please don't ask for me to use them because your request will be denied, especially for romance purposes.) Additionally, should romance be involved in any case, I almost exclusively only write MxM. That's the way I like it, and that's the way it'll be. I have and can write MxF, as well as FxF, though again, at my discretion and with myself as the male muse in MxF.

Plots - I have pre-made plots!!! I have lots of them, and even more characters with their own subplots each. There's nothing I love more than an original story, so if you've got a plot, by all means, bring it along! Let's work together to make a good story—don't make me do all the work, and I won't make you! Let's meet in the middle and get the best of both worlds to assure we will both enjoy the roleplay and make sure it will last. I will have plots and character bios posted as I come to crave and make them.

Out of Character - Yep, I'm one of those that likes to fantasize over the story and characters making playlists and mood boards and everything in between. I also enjoy making friends with my partners. So by all means, please! Let's chat while we roleplay, shall we? I often prefer to keep RP and OOC separate for the purpose of organization and convenience, so maybe keep that little side note in mind if you're not a fan of having multiple chats or a potentially annoying partner who might get a little chatty OOC.

Three Important Side Notes - 1) Do not under any circumstance, shape, or form, control my character. It's not cool, and it defeats the purpose. Small, obvious tasks like the opening of a door is okay, but nothing bigger or subjective. 2) Going along with the no-controlling rule, don't auto-hit in any shape or form either. Again, small and avoidable is okay, like your character handing mine something. Just don't tie them up or stick a sword through them on a whim halfway through your reply and then write out the rest of it as if I'd just go along with it. Because I won't. 3) Please please please, pay attention to detail! If I've clearly written something like the time of day, don't change it to the complete opposite in your next reply. If there's an issue with detail in my replies, just let me know, okay? Not a big deal.

Well if you've made it this far, then here's the various ways you can reach me! This post will be edited as need be, including a note if I'm overcrowded or too busy to accept any new partners. So as long as this post is up, hit me up anytime! (P.S. Please don't just send me a mere "hey" or a "hi" or "hello," give me a little more context to let me know you're genuinely interested. Introduce yourself, for example, and maybe even let me know what you're looking for!)

Tumblr: godslayer04

Instagram: godslayer04

Discord: godslayer04#6047

Email: [email protected]

Virtual Space Amino: http://aminoapps.com/p/4nk4u1

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yasbxxgie · 5 years ago

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youtube

Reggae Britannia (BBC Four, 2/11/11)

385 Willesden High Road is tucked away behind a row of dilapidated 19th century houses, its entrance obscured by high locked gates and a walled yard. But 385 is a treasure trove of reggae history. It's called Theorem, Music Village, and it's where we're recording several artist interviews for Reggae Britannia. As we arrive, there's a band in the studio rehearsing a romantic Lovers Rock number, there's a man up a rickety ladder painting the walls and another mopping up from an all night dance in the 'functions room' with its damp lino and garish red felt walls. T-Jae, the tall soft-spoken proprietor of what was once called BBMC (the Brent Black Music Cooperative) helps us with our camera gear. He's got coffee brewing in the kitchen beside an open can of condensed milk. Before T-Jae's time this was a leisure centre filled with rattle of pinball machines and the click of snooker balls - now replaced by the drum 'n bass of reggae rhythms leaking from the studio.

We're here to interview Dave Barker, one half of the Dave and Ansell Collins vocal duo who set the teenage mods alight, back in 1971, performing a novelty number called 'Double Barrel'. Dave's a quietly spoken man with a hint of a stammer. He tells us how, when he first came to this country (and he stayed here ever after) he peered out through the window of his BOAC plane as it banked over the smoking chimneys of the snow-covered houses below and wondered 'how come they have so many bakeries in England?' On the drive from the airport he was shocked at seeing white men digging the road and taking out garbage: 'Wow man, that was strange, you didn't see those things in Jamaica'. Nor dogs wearing winter vests, nor steak and kidney pies, nor that little sparrow he spied pecking the top off a milk bottle. He can't help himself: Dave sings a refrain from Matt Munro's 'Born Free' and segues into 'Summer Holiday'.

Dave arrived in the U.K exactly ten years before Theorem opened its doors to top British and Jamaican reggae artists passing through. Today, there's the legendary Max Romeo sitting on bench in the winter sunshine, his grey locks neatly tucked into a woolly beret. In 1969, Max brought his wicked song 'Wet Dream' to Britain and its risqué lyrics - which got it banned in clubs and on the BBC - made it an anthem for skinheads in dance halls all across Britain. He sings a few lines, diffidently explaining how it caused an 'upstir' among the rebellious youth of the time. He's a little ashamed of it now because, by the mid 70s, Max had embraced the wisdom of Rastafari. That was when he wrote and recorded some of reggae's most powerful and memorable music in the Black Ark studio of Lee Scratch Perry: 'War In A Babylon' and 'Chase The Devil'. When those songs arrived here, first as pre-releases and then remixed by Island Records, they inspired our fledgling roots reggae bands and then the punks and then Bob Marley too. Max intones a few lines from 'Chase The Devil', an ironic, cautionary tale that has been covered or sampled by dozens of musicians - including Jay-Z in 'The Black Album' - and was featured in the video-game Grand Theft Auto.

'I'm gonna put on an iron shirt and chase Satan out of earth' he sings. 'I'm gonna send him to outer space to find another race'. Max explains: 'The devil is the negative within the psyche. Chasing the devil means chasing the negative out of your mind.' There are people wandering in and out while he speaks; musicians carrying drums and guitars into this studio that's cold as a morgue, or dropping off an amp or a heavyweight speaker, or they've come to pay their respects to the master, with a hug or a high-five.

T-Jae comes sauntering by with a piece of carpet under his arm to help our sound recordist dampen the 'live' acoustic of the room (yes, we still have a sound recordist on our crew) and he tells me that among the band members in the studio today is none other than Bigga Morrison. Bigga's not a front man like Max, but a keyboard virtuoso and music director of renown. Reggae royalty. The band take a another break for a smoke in the yard and Bigga, immaculate in pin-striped suit and brogues, describes growing up in this country as a second generation West Indian: 'My parents had experienced troubles and threats on the streets, back in the '50s, with the Teddy Boys and such, but they wouldn't discuss those things because they wanted to keep you free from the pressures. But as we grew up, we took our message and our fight onto the streets with the roots and culture music we played in bands like Steel Pulse and Aswad.'

Later during the interview, I asked Bigga to show us how the British reggae producers, back in the early 1970s, added violins to the Jamaican imports to make them sound 'more classical'. Unfortunately, he's lost his glasses and so can't read the score. Tee Jay's on hand to send for a replacement pair. Bigga fills in time by playing us a delightful new track by his band the Skatronics, but when the glasses arrive, they're all wrong for Bigga. He wears them anyway, and peers astigmatically at the music for 'Young Gifted And Black' which is layered in symphonic-style strings. Bigga (educated at Trinity College of Music) explains how Jamaican reggae gradually transformed into a British musical experience, first through the dub sounds and conscious lyrics of hardworking roots groups like Aswad and then by the bands that went platinum: the 2 Tone crowd, UB40 and The Police. Bigga's being called back to rehearsals now, so we break for a late lunch. It's a choice of The New Golden Duck Chinese Take Away or the Caribbean place half a mile up the road. We do the walk and settle for salt fish and akee. Or rather, the others do. I choose the goat curry on plantains and soon regret it.

Back in Theorem, Bigga's at the keyboards and a couple of pretty female vocalists are delivering more saccharine Lovers Rock. And that's where we see Big Youth, in among them, gyrating his hips to the pounding bass and chugging upbeat of the guitar. He's chaperoned by a petite Italian lady from an artists' agency called Roots Rockers. She's Trish, and she's exhausted because they've only just returned from a nightmare flight from Spain. Trish is a miracle of calm and efficiency in the maelstrom of the struggling reggae business and it's clear all the artists adore her. Trish has offered us the opportunity to interview Big Youth, the toaster who excited British reggae fans with his revolutionary, rasta-inspired lyrics in the mid '70s. He's on top form today, his wiry body twisting and swaying in the interview chair as he sings lines from 'Hit The Road Jack', telling me how the great Ray Charles called him up one Christmas-time to admit that Big Youth's version was just 'the best'. 'Big Youth stole the scene,' he concludes. Modesty isn't one of Big Youth's virtues. But I can vouch for his status, and integrity. I first met him inside Randy's Record shop in Kingston Jamaica back in '77. He was checking out the sales of his album - visiting these record stores was about the only way an artist could tell how many were selling. He was as big a name as Marley at the time, and revered both on the island and over here. We met again - by chance - in Lagos, Nigeria, when he was on the run from some unscrupulous promoter. He's older and greyer now, but with no loss of energy, showmanship or sharp humour. And the red, gold and green implants in his front teeth are still there.

The filming days at Theorem haven't only been productive for our ninety minute programme, they've also been enormous fun. Maybe it's the familiarity and affection the artists have for this building, or maybe it's what they call 'the spirits' of the house: a combination of all those sounds and experiences imbedded in the cracking plaster walls, the creaky floorboards which once the feet of hallowed artists trod, or the reverberating bass you can hear down Theorem's honeycomb of corridors.

We'll be back here later in the week to interview the fiery, bubbly Lovers Rock singer Sylvia Tella, from Manchester; and Tippa Irie who came to fame DJing for the Saxon sound system, and maybe Dennis Bovell, the multi-talented producer/song writer and bass player, who did so much to anglicise reggae music in this country. Oh, and Trish says Dennis Alcapone's coming by, the dapper, bowler-hatted vocalist who brought a whole new style of toasting to these shores with songs like 'Guns Don't Argue': 'Don't call me Scarface, my name is Capone, C-A-P-O-N-E!'

For him, we'll haul our equipment boxes down the dark corridors of Theorem (we never could find the light switches, thriftily hidden away in recesses above door frames). Because we'll place him in a room, behind the studio, which is every reggae fan's dream, an Aladdin's cave of antique tape machines and mixers, and an expansive crimson casting couch. The wood-trim Rainderk desk dates from the early '70s when Reggae first exploded onto our pop charts with songs like 'Young Gifted And Black', bringing an upbeat musical thrill not just to those of Caribbean origin and the packs of skinheads who followed them around the country, but to the whole nation. This mixing desk was donated by Pete Townshend of The Who. It has made history since, recording reggae artists like The Wailers, Gregory Isaacs, Aswad, Janet Kay, Maxi Priest ... and so many more.

The traffic's slow on Willesden High Road as we leave the studios and T- Jae waves us into the evening gridlock and shuts the gates. Back-in-the-day, Theorem would be filling up with dreadlocked musicians and their natty entourage, ready for another all night session. Sometimes it still does, but with the proliferation of cheap home studios and a music industry in crisis, it's a whole lot quieter now. No sessions tonight. Just the rattling pipes, the whispering corridors, the vacant studio and the ghosts of British reggae history.

#2011 #reggae britannia #bbc four #bbc #bbc news #reggae #roots reggae #video #youtube #black music #music #west indians #caribbean #black british #documentary #documentaries

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fairestmusesismoving · 5 years ago

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Rumple

Welcome to my second TED Talk….hahaha sure to get me in trouble with so many people. This is even more loaded than Ruby.How I feel about this character?I mourn Rumple and all his potential because there was so much there. So many things that could have been done. All of it was wasted for what felt like a whispy teenager soap opera that had no real merit or consequence. Because deep down…I did like Rumplestiltskin. I hated his fans with a deep passion because they wanted to turn this interesting character into a defanged whimpering whisper of what Robert Carlyle actually gave us. Rumplestiltskin was this interesting “universal glue” who kept popping up everywhere to make everything work as the strangest deus ex machina storytelling device that worked… And he worked very well because he was established early on, established to have a certain set of powers, motive, and even a few limits. This was really great! We had some rules so we couldn’t go into the realm of the over powered mary sue! That was fantastic! Rumple was realistic as a powerful character and the fact his interests were aligning with certain groups at the time? Hey, we had a real neutral character!And then by S3 we had to jam on the breaks cause “Wow what do we do when we remove all drive for Rumplestiltskin since he has Belle and we killed Neal?””I dunno! No idea!”It was infuriating because had all of this been drawn out and everyone focused on different aspects of Rumplestiltskin rather than mashing him and Belle together like that scene in Space Balls , we could have had something that was worthwhile and not like some drastic whiplash from S1 that really doesn’t make sense considering the trauma of Neverland and Oz then….pretty much everything else. There’s trauma and then just using a character because you’re bound to pay that person since they’re still under contract and “well the viewers love them and we want money”.Rumplestiltskin is a victim of “too much, too soon”, and fans who tried to demand too much and realized way too late that maybe Rumple needed slower reveals.All the people I ship romantically with this character:By default I have to say Belle, even though I hated what Rumbelle became in the final seasons. It needed work. Both Rumple and Belle felt like they were hurting each other in ways that made no sense given the previous seasons. I’d detail in depth, but that’s not the point of these little evaluations, is it? Also I’d need to make an entire blog to contain every single moment evaluated to show each action and which character does what. It’s a lot.In the end I still have to give it to Rumbelle even though I wanted a lot more for it.I ship no one else romantically with this character. I especially do not ship Milah with Rumple. Sorry if that rustles jimmies. I am disabled. The behavior Milah displays around Rumple is abusive. Despite what some people may tell you on tumblr, ableism is offensive and acting in this way towards a person is abusive.You really can’t escape abuse in OUAT which boggles the hell out of me. When Milah engages in her acts of spousal abuse and ableism, it’s enough to make me go grab my inhaler because it really is how disturbing just how close and realistic her microaggressions are and how much they build up. There’s another scene in OUAT that sends me into this state, but Milah is in the second place position. Bolded because if you’re angry about my thoughts on Milah, maybe go read up on disability, ableism, and how couples treat disabled spouses after they’ve become disabled. It’s a huge topic and one that people don’t talk about. Considering I’m most likely to be abused by a loved one and that person will always be my spouse, it’s a healthy fear to have. Milah is that walking boogeyman.My non-romantic OTP for this character:I love Archie’s interactions with Gold. I love Henry’s interactions with Gold, especially in the “deleted” scene where Henry seeks Gold out to talk about Regina’s isolating him after Robin’s death. Honestly, Rumple needed to have more casual scenes with other characters because Robert Carlyle plays very well with other actors.Shots fired? Because Robert Carlyle acts in circles around Lana Parrilla, it often left her scenes seeming very childish and immature. It made the forced romance (it was Regina sexually assaulting Gold because he didn’t consent unless he was trying to get something form her but okay) even more uncomfortable due to her inability to stop yelling in an uncontrolled manner. Where Carlyle can channel and keep himself calm (or hell, any of the cast because I’d be redundant), it made pairing him with Lana a very poor choice very often.Why wasn’t Gold/Rumple utilized with other characters more? He was paired with the one-offs or guest characters fairly often, but never with anyone but Regina. This really did make the scenes look awkward. I’m saying that as an actor who has been trained to know what to look for. I noticed. It looks bad on the writer and director.My unpopular opinion about this character:I hate this strange Rumplestiltskin that people try to promote that’s weirdly romantic and mushy. I remember when there was an app on Facebook for Once Upon a Time and the Dearies RIOTED because Rumple wrote a letter to Belle shortly after the flashback events of Skin Deep. it was raw and very in character. He hated her but he loved her and knew that if he lost his powers, he couldn’t protect people he cared about. It was a good letter.The “Dearies” rioted until Adam and Eddy apologized and changed the app to have a letter that included instructions on “How to Use a Toaster”.Toaster Rumple is a Rumple I don’t want to exist and anyone who prefers Toaster Rumple? Butter my toast.One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:I want to fix everything about Rumple. From S2 and onward. Finding Neal so soon/intertwining Baelfire’s plot with Emma’s/giving Regina a happy ending ruined Rumplestiltskin as a character. That’s VERY shots fired. I’m going to get unfollowed immediately for that and I don’t know if I should be happy about that or what…Baelfire needed to remain independent. The key to Emma and the Charmings was how Rumple manipulated the curse caster to get to A Land Without Magic and was counting on Emma to break the curse. That’s where it stops for the big involvement. Baelfire should have remained as Rumple’s own plot and for something to keep driving himself that he could eventually invite people into as he slowly became comfortable with others.But the worst of it truly is Regina. Rumple often warned Regina about her own morality and while that seemed hypocritical of her, he wasn’t wrong. As the series went along, she never actually changed her ways and we were introduced to a growing body count to her name that complimented S1′s rape, child abuse, various instances of inflicting bodily harm (some with the intent to murder), and so much I’ve lost track of. Having this person being handed a crown while Rumple gets a death so he can be “united with Belle” but he gets a kiss from the woman he was never interested in but continued her incredibly predatory advances?Yeah no. But Regina can’t have that ending unless you get rid of the one reminding her “All Magic Comes with a Price.” I guess that price was getting rid of the person saying that magic might cost your morality. A Mary Sue Palooza!

#anti regina mills #rumplestiltskin #ask meme #mun on fire #Anonymous

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nasa · 7 years ago

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Hunting for Organic Molecules on Mars

Did Mars once have life? To help answer that question, an international team of scientists created an incredibly powerful miniature chemistry laboratory, set to ride on the next Mars rover.

The instrument, called the Mars Organic Molecule Analyzer Mass Spectrometer (MOMA-MS), will form a key part of the ExoMars Rover, a joint mission between the European Space Agency (ESA) and Roscosmos. A mass spectrometer is crucial to send to Mars because it reveals the elements that can be found there. A Martian mass spectrometer takes a sample, typically of powdered rock, and distinguishes the different elements in the sample based on their mass.

After 8 years of designing, building, and testing, NASA scientists and engineers from NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center said goodbye to their tiny chemistry lab and shipped it to Italy in a big pink box. Building a tiny instrument capable of conducting chemical analysis is difficult in any setting, but designing one that has to launch on a huge rocket, fly through the vacuum of space, and then operate on a planet with entirely different pressure and temperature systems? That’s herculean. And once on Mars, MOMA has a very important job to do. NASA Goddard Center Director Chris Scolese said, “This is the first intended life-detecting instrument that we have sent to Mars since Viking.”

The MOMA instrument will be capable of detecting a wide variety of organic molecules. Organic compounds are commonly associated with life, although they can be created by non-biological processes as well. Organic molecules contain carbon and hydrogen, and can include oxygen, nitrogen, and other elements.

To find these molecules on Mars, the MOMA team had to take instruments that would normally occupy a couple of workbenches in a chemistry lab and shrink them down to roughly the size of a toaster oven so they would be practical to install on a rover.

MOMA-MS, the mass spectrometer on the ExoMars rover, will build on the accomplishments from the Sample Analysis at Mars (SAM), an instrument suite on the Curiosity rover that includes a mass spectrometer. SAM collects and analyzes samples from just below the surface of Mars while ExoMars will be the first to explore deep beneath the surface, with a drill capable of taking samples from as deep as two meters (over six feet). This is important because Mars’s thin atmosphere and spotty magnetic field offer little protection from space radiation, which can gradually destroy organic molecules exposed on the surface. However, Martian sediment is an effective shield, and the team expects to find greater abundances of organic molecules in samples from beneath the surface.

On completion of the instrument, MOMA Project Scientist Will Brinckerhoff praised his colleagues, telling them, “You have had the right balance of skepticism, optimism, and ambition. Seeing this come together has made me want to do my best.”

In addition to the launch of the ESA and Roscosmos ExoMars Rover, in 2020, NASA plans to launch the Mars 2020 Rover, to search for signs of past microbial life. We are all looking forward to seeing what these two missions will find when they arrive on our neighboring planet.

youtube

Learn more about MOMA HERE.

Learn more about ExoMars HERE.

Follow @NASASolarSystem on Twitter for more about our missions to other planets.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com.

#nasa #space #moma #mars #red planet #planet #solar system #science #life #signs #mass spectrometer #surface #curiosity #rover #drill #instrument

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homerenovationvancouver-blog · 5 years ago

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The Kitchen Renovation Doesn't Have to Be As Painful As You Might Think

You've reached your own personal tipping point: the toaster won't work when the coffeemaker's on, you're down to one working burner on your stove, only one person can be in the kitchen at a time so your family eats in shifts, and finally the microwave blew on the morning of your big presentation at work, and you decided, "Enough is enough. We need a new, functional kitchen!"

You're not alone. Usually everyone has a particular tipping point; that one last thing that sends them into the renovation pool. You try to hold on for as long as you can because you're dreading the noise, the dust, the inconvenience and the disruption to your daily life. When your space becomes unusable, it's time to do something. But you can't just jump into a renovation, particularly one as costly, time consuming and inconvenient as a kitchen renovation, you need a well thought out plan of attack if you're going to pull it off in the quickest amount of time with the least amount of inconvenience and expense.

Start by developing a Design Plan: A renovation will only be as successful as the research and planning that's put into it. Like any business proposal you develop for work, you need to have a clear goal of what you want to achieve with the renovation. Do you yearn for updated electrical wiring, maximizing storage space, adding an eating area, appliances that work?

You can start by popping into kitchen renovation stores to look at the latest available features in kitchen design. Speak to the staff, tell them you're at the beginning of your journey and see if they have any ideas for you.

Cut out photos of kitchens you love from magazines and put them in a folder. Identify why you like the kitchens you've chosen - is it the space? The lighting? The colour? The style of cabinetry or countertops? It is even helpful to give your designer images of things you definitely do not like. That way they won't propose those very things in your dream kitchen. When you determine what you really want, it will help your kitchen designer draw up the plans that suit you.

If you have a friend who's recently renovated her kitchen, take pictures and identify what you like about it as well and stick it in the folder with your other pictures.

Toronto architect Jacqueline Rhee says that when she sits down with potential clients and they say to her, "Design us something gorgeous," she has to explain that they aren't giving her enough information. She says, "What their idea of 'gorgeous' is and what I might have in mind could very well be two different things. Maybe they want French Country, but I have an idea that they might prefer a sleek contemporary kitchen." The more direction clients can give their designer about their likes, dislikes and what their goals for the space are, the better the design can live up to their expectations.

Budget: The good news regarding a kitchen renovation is that it tends to be a good investment. The Appraisal Institute of Canada estimates that a kitchen renovation will return 75-100% of your investment if you were to turn around and sell your home. However, the sky is never the limit, even for Donald Trump. Just as you would plan your company's annual marketing budget, you need to develop a budget for your kitchen renovation. A general rule of thumb for how much to spend on a kitchen renovation is up to 10-15% of the value of your home. But don't feel like you have to spend that much; if you can do more with less, do it. For example, if your cabinets are in the right location and sturdy but just tired and outdated, consider refacing them. Refacing comes in at about 50-75% of the cost of new custom cabinetry.

Hiring a Kitchen Company and/or Contractor: Most people hire a contractor or kitchen designer through word of mouth. If you've been to a friend's recently renovated house and you like what you see, start asking questions: Who did the work? Did you work well together? Was he on time and on budget? Is the end result what you expected? Was he well-organized or did you scramble to get finishes at the last minute? Were there any major problems during construction, and if so, how did he handle them? If you liked the answers your friend gave you - assuming your friend isn't shell-shocked from the direct grilling she's just received - get his card. Now, find at least two other contractors and/or kitchen companies so you can compare quotes.

Meeting with the Designer and Contractor: If, while you're meeting with a designer or contractor, your gut tells you that no matter how great the work is you couldn't stand being in the same room with him for more than a minute, cross him off your list of candidates. You may have to meet with this person every day. If your personalities don't mix, you'll never be able to solve problems together. Likely, however, if you're getting that vibe, the contractor or designer is too; it's best to part ways before a relationship has begun.

If, on the other hand, your first meeting is fantastic and you're bowled over with his enthusiasm and ideas and you get along as if you'd known each other your entire lives, you still need to do your research. Ask him how many jobs he can handle at once and how many he has going currently and make sure he is bonded and insured.

Further necessary research - the internet is your new best friend: Researching kitchen companies and contractors has become a whole lot easier with the age of the internet. Now there are websites which are specifically focused on capturing word-of-mouth reviews from consumers online. If the companies you're interested in using don't have any reviews, you may want to look at other companies that do and compare their services. Also check out the company's website. If they don't have one, you have to wonder how professional they are.

Another tip you can try is entering the company's name in search engines like Google and Yahoo!. You may find some feedback people have posted on them on various forums. You can also post a question asking if anyone has ever used this company. Finally, check the references he or she gives you as well, talk to a few of his past clients and go see the work he or she did for them.

Once you've chosen your designer, contractor and/or kitchen company, get ready: Ask yourself if you can live through the renovation by setting up a second kitchen in the garage or basement. Do you have toddlers who would be better off away from the construction site? Make arrangements to be out of the house for a specific amount of time and make sure that you and your project team have discussed the most reasonable move-out and move-in dates.

Did you have to factor furniture storage into your budget or can it be wrapped and stored on site? Again, your contractor will tell you which is the best option depending on the size of the job and your storage space availability on site.

During the renovation: Assumptions: One of the breakdowns in communication between homeowner and contractor is in assumptions made by one party or the other. For instance, one woman had purchased bathroom sinks and fixtures for a brand new home. The contractor saw that the powder room fixture would be outfitted with separate taps and a faucet and so drilled three holes in all the sinks because he assumed that all the fixtures were the same. Unfortunately, they weren't and the homeowner had to replace the other fixtures to match the holes.

But incorrect assumptions can just as easily be made by the homeowner. A homeowner handed a water filter kit to the contractor and asked him to install it. The homeowner had read on the box that the water filter was good for the whole house and could be fitted on the main water supply. When she returned at the end of the day, the contractor had installed it under the kitchen sink. She'd never told him where it was to go, she had just assumed that he knew it was meant for the entire house.

Problem solving: In any renovation, no matter how minor, there always seem to be unforeseen problems. It's not as surprising as you might think. What happens behind the walls stays behind them until they're ripped apart. Up until then, you might not know that the insulation used was actually newspaper, or that the plumbing went through the wall that needs to be demolished. How your contractor and you handle these problems depends on how proactive your contractor is.

During Sue and Leon's main floor renovation, the designer had called for the laundry room backsplash to consist of stainless steel tiles; beautiful, but at a cost of approximately $5,000. Sue balked. The contractor suggested instead a row of the tiles, two feet high, just behind the washer and dryer at a cost of $500. Sue was grateful that contractor made her aware of the costs and had an alternative suggestion for her.

The end result -- your dream space: Living through the dust, noise and strangers in your house for weeks to months on end can be tiring. Even though you get along well with the crew and your contractor, you can find your temper becoming short, particularly if there are delays during the project leading to prolonged construction. Recognize that delays are often unavoidable and that one day, you will be back in your home, the workers will be gone and your new beautiful kitchen will be all yours.

On-line Resources: This Old House: This website is a DIYer's dream. There are videos and tips on probably every aspect of renovating a kitchen. Kitchens.com: A wealth of information on everything you ever wanted to know about kitchens, including information on "greening your kitchen." Better Homes and Gardens has an extensive section on renovating your kitchen including an "inspiration gallery" to give you some ideas. The Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation: CMHC has an excellent website for any renovation or home purchase. The kitchen renovation area has downloadable charts you can use for reference guides as you go about your renovation planning. Appraisal Institute www.homerenovationvancouver.ca of Canada: The Renova section of this website allows you to input the cost of your renovation and it will calculate how much of a return you would receive if you sold your home.

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24stiles920 · 6 years ago

Text

Magic Bullet

Teen Wolf Rewrite

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Warnings: Ages 16+, swearing, blood, wounds

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf or Harry Potter. I am just borrowing the spells and potions from the wonderful Harry Potter Universe, not stealing them.

Words: 4895

A/N: Poor Stiles, y’all don’t like him right now, but he’ll be better. I promise! Also, when you’re reading this keep in mind that this is me rewriting my old rewrite, so some parts will be the same, while some parts will be brand new. Hope you enjoy😊

Season 1 Masterlist

Stiles didn’t give me space.

He constantly contacted me over the next week, texting and calling me, showing up at my house, and cornering me at school. My parents, who had come back the day after the whole argument, had to kick him out of the house when he wouldn’t leave one time.

Scott knew what had happened, and because he was friends with both of us, he didn’t take sides. Instead, he would spend alone time with each of us. Time with Scott included watching Grey’s Anatomy; crying at the sad parts and yearning over Alex Karev, whilst eating greasy pizza.

I pulled on my navy boot socks and placed my feet into the knee-high boots that went with the navy, bird-covered dress. I paired it with a jean jacket, and some mauve lipstick, before grabbing my leather purse. I had to look put together today, as I would see Stiles for the first time since he rejected me.

Scott had asked me to hang out with him today, and as he gave me his puppy dog face, I couldn’t resist him. I had been hanging out with Allison and Lydia for the past week and had told Allison what happened. She kept me out of Stiles’ line of vision and I was incredibly grateful for a friend like her.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Mom said as I entered the kitchen. She was drinking a cup of coffee and was reading on her iPad while dad was at the stove making eggs.

“Morning, Mom.” I sighed as I slid an everything bagel into the toaster. “Morning, dad. Do you guys work late tonight?”

Mom and dad had their own law firm, which was actually pretty busy for a small city like Beacon Hills. Some nights they had to work over time on a case, and wouldn’t be back until early the next morning.

“Yeah, so I left a twenty-dollar bill on the counter for pizza. I know how much you love it.” Mom said before taking a sip of her coffee.

The bagel popped up and I swiped it from the toaster, spreading cream cheese on it in even layers. “Thanks.”

I took a bite of the yummy goodness that was my breakfast and took my set of car keys off the hook.

“See you later, guys.” I waved at her. “Love you.”

“Love you, Y/N.” They chorused as I stepped into the garage.

I got into the driver’s seat of my jeep and put the keys into the starter, turning over the engine as soon as I closed my door. I pulled out of the garage and drove to school, singing along to my favorite songs off my iPhone.

When I got to History class Scott and Stiles were already sitting in the back of the classroom. I walked to the aisle to the right of them and shuffled to the empty seat next to Scott.

“Y/N!” Stiles beamed at me, his entire face lighting up.

I didn’t acknowledge him, instead turning to face Scott and crossing my legs.

“So, if Derek isn’t the Alpha, if he’s not the one who bit you, then who did?” I asked him bluntly, ignoring Stiles’ crestfallen expression.

Scott sighed as the teacher started handing back our graded tests. “I don’t know.”

“Did the Alpha kill the bus driver?” Stiles questioned Scott, leaning forward onto his desk.

Scott shrugged and repeated, “I don’t know.”

“Does Allison’s dad know about the Alpha?” Stiles persisted.

“I don’t know!” Scott exclaimed loudly, causing several heads of nearby students to look back at us.

I ducked my head, embarrassed, as Stiles muttered a sheepish, “Jeez.” The teacher handed me back my test and I sighed as I noticed the ‘B- ‘written in blotchy, red ink on the top. Scott was passed his test and I looked over his shoulder to see that he had a ‘D- ‘.

Stiles had a satisfied smile on his face as he looked at mine and Scott’s test scores. “You guys need to study more.”

I glared at him while Scott slumped in his seat and sighed.

“That was a joke.” Stiles deadpanned. “Guys, it’s one test. You’re gonna make it up. Do you guys want help studying?”

“No.” I said, pursing my lips and turning away from him.

Stiles sighed in frustration as Scott shook his head. “No, I’m studying with Allison after school today.”

Stiles smirked. “That’s my boy!”

“We’re just studying.” Scott insisted.

“Uh, no, you’re not.” Stiles argued.

“No, I’m not?” Scott repeated, turning around to face Stiles.

“Not if I’m forced to live vicariously through you.” Stiles declared. I rolled my eyes at him, he didn’t have to vicariously live through anyone if he just got over his obsession over Lydia.

“If you go to her house today and squander that colossal opportunity, I swear to God, I’ll have you de-balled.” Stiles continued.

“Okay!” I interrupted loudly, sending Stiles a stern look. “Please, just stop talking.”

“And stop with the questions, too.” Scott added.

“Done.” Stiles sighed. “No more questions. No more talk about the Alpha or Derek. Especially Derek—who still scares me.”

After the bell rang I gathered up my stuff and shot out of the classroom, not wanting to get slowed down by Stiles. The coast was clear so far, but as I opened up my locker, his voice startled me.

“You can’t avoid me forever, you know.”

I scoffed. “I think I can, actually.”

Stiles heaved a deep breath. “Look, I know I hurt you, but can’t you forgive me, so we can move on?”

I stared at him in disbelief, my mouth held slightly open. “You’re an asshole.”

I grabbed my textbook for my next class and slammed my locker shut before stomping off. Stiles quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop on the side of the hallway.

“Look, obviously that was the wrong thing to say, but—I need you, Y/N. You’re my best friend, and I—”

“Please stop.” I whispered, my eyes sparkling with tears. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“I do mean them!” Stiles exclaimed in a frustrated tone. “Just tell me what I can do, Y/N. Please. I need you to forgive me.”

I was mad at him, that was the problem. I couldn’t just forgive him, when every time I saw him, I wanted to gauge his eyeballs out with a serrated spoon. Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but I couldn’t forgive that he knew about us being soulmates for a whole nine months before I figured it out.

“I’m mad at you.” I said finally. “And I don’t know how to forgive you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/N.” Stiles admitted. “I didn’t know you had feelings for me—”

“Don’t talk about that!” I exclaimed, looking around at people as they passed by us. “Just—I told you to give me space. And you haven’t.”

“I did!” Stiles protested. “I haven’t seen you or hung out with you in a week—”

“You called and texted me about a thousand times.” I interrupted him. “How is that giving me space?”

Stiles grimaced and scratched the back of his neck. “Err.”

“Exactly.” I pointed out, turning around and walking away to class.

By lunch time, I was feeling pretty lonely. Stiles and Scott were having an intense discussion at our usual lunch table, so I didn’t want to interrupt. The last thing I wanted to do was hang around Lydia when I was this down about myself, so I couldn’t sit with Allison. I looked around the cafeteria, searching for a seat, when I saw a cute guy with sandy blonde hair sitting by himself.

I walked over to him with purpose and placed my lunch tray across from him. He looked up and his eye’s widened at the sight of me. I saw that he had a dark bruise around his eye.

“That looks pretty bad.” I started casually, pointing my fork at his black eye. “How’d you get it?”

“Uh, lacrosse.” The boy said uncomfortably. “You’re Y/N, right?”

“Yep, and you’re—” I trailed off, realizing with shame that I didn’t know his name.

“Isaac Lahey.” Isaac offered. “We have history together.”

I looked down, slightly embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I get distracted by my friends.”

“It’s okay, Y/N, really.” Isaac smiled at me.

“If you’re sure.” I replied doubtfully. “So, are you first or second line for the lacrosse team?”

“Second.” Isaac said, looking down at his sandwich. “It’s kind of lame—”

“No, it’s not.” I protested. “One of my best friend’s is second line as well.”

My face fell as I thought about Stiles. My best friend. That’s all he’ll ever be.

“Stiles, right?” Isaac assumed. I nodded. “He broke your heart, didn’t he?”

I looked at Isaac intrigued. “How did you know?”

Isaac took a bite of his sandwich, chewing thoughtfully. “Your face fell when you mentioned him, and you haven’t been hanging around him recently.”

My lips twisted into a smile. “You’re very observant, aren’t you?”

Isaac shrugged. “Maybe. I like to people watch.”

“Interesting.” I said as I bit into my slice of pepperoni pizza.

“So, why’d you sit with me? Other than your obvious heartbreak?” Isaac wondered, taking another bite of his sandwich.

“I was lonely, and you looked as lonely as I felt.” I told him honestly. “So I just sat down.”

“Well,” Isaac grinned. “I’m glad you did.”

At the end of the day I was rummaging through my purse at my locker when Allison and Lydia startled me.

“Y/N! I haven’t seen you all day!” Allison exclaimed, pulling me into a warm hug. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, giving her a slight smile. I thought about the new friend I made. “It’s been a good day.”

“Good.”

“So, Scott told me he’s coming over to your house tonight.” I said to Allison, raising an eyebrow.

“Scott’s coming over?” Lydia repeated. “Tonight?”

“We’re just studying together.” Allison smiled giddily.

“’Just studying’ never ends with just studying.” Lydia sighed wistfully. “It’s like—getting into a hot tub—Somebody eventually cops a feel.”

“Well, so what are you saying?” Allison said with a confused expression on her face.

“I’m just saying, you know, make sure he covers up.” Lydia advised, grinning at the disgusted look on my face. Allison didn’t reply, still looking confused. Poor, innocent Allison.

“Hello, Snow White! Do it with him with a condom.” Lydia exclaimed.

Allison laughed in disbelief. “Are you kidding? After one date?”

“Don’t be a total prude. Give him a little taste.” Lydia said.

“Well, I-I mean, how much is ‘a little taste’?” Allison asked in a low voice.

“You really like him, don’t you?” I said, smiling at Allison. I’m really glad she likes Scott as much as she does. I didn’t want Scott to get hurt.

“Well—He’s just different.” Allison explained. “When I first moved here, I had a plan—no boyfriends till college. I just move too much. But—then I met him, and—he was different. I-I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

“I can.” Lydia clasped her hands together. “It’s your brain flooding with phenylethylamine.”

“What?” Allison said, giving the red head a look of confusion.

“It’s a nervous system stimulant.” I told Allison.

Lydia nodded and pointed at me. “She gets me. And don’t worry, Allison, I’ll tell you what to do. When’s he coming over?”

“Now.” Allison said. “After school.”

Lydia hummed while a dark figure caught my attention as it walked gloomily down the hall.

“I’ll see you later, guys.�� I bid them, walking towards Derek with purpose.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed at him. He was really pale and was sweating profusely.

“I was shot.” Derek wheezed. “I need Scott’s help. I can’t find him.”

I sighed in sympathy. No matter how little I trusted Derek, I didn’t want him to die.

“Come on.” I took his arm in my hand and turned him around. “He’s probably in the parking lot. I told him that I’d take him to Allison’s.”

We slowly walked out to the parking lot, passing cars until we were only an aisle away from my jeep. We stepped in front of Stiles’ jeep as it backed out of a parking spot. Stiles slammed on the breaks, and as he did so, Derek collapsed onto the ground.

I crouched down next to him, gently slapping his pale, stubbly cheeks.

“I’m awake.” Derek grumped. “You can stop hitting me now.”

“Sorry.” I grimaced at him as Scott and Stiles ran up to us.

“What are you doing here?” Scott spit at Derek, crouching down next to me.

“He was shot.” I told Scott.

“He’s not looking so good, dude.” Stiles observed, looking at Derek carefully.

“No shit, sherlock.” I quipped.

“Well, excuse me for making an observation.” Stiles said hotly.

“Guys!” Scott interrupted our feud before turning back to Derek. “Why aren’t you healing?”

“I can’t.” Derek spoke slowly, pausing between each breath. “It was—it was a different kind of bullet.”

“A silver bullet?” Stiles asked excitedly.

Derek glared up at him. “No, you idiot.”

“Wait, wait.” Scott said quickly. “That’s what she meant when she said you had forty-eight hours.”

All three of us looked at Scott confused.

“What?” Derek asked. “Who—who said forty-eight hours?”

“The one who shot you.” Scott told him in an obvious tone.

Derek hissed in pain and his eyes flashed an icy blue, showing off his werewolf status.

“What are you doing?” Scott hissed. “Stop that!”

“I’m trying to tell you, I can’t!” Derek protested.

“Derek, get up.” I told him, looking around as cars honked their horns at us for holding up the line.

Scott heaved Derek up to his feet and looked at Stiles. “Help me put him in your car.”

Stiles sighed annoyed, but nevertheless helped Scott drag Derek into the jeep.

“I need you to find out what kind of bullet they used.” Derek said to Scott.

Scott looked to the older werewolf in disbelief. “How the fuck am I supposed to do that?”

“’Cause she’s an Argent. She’s with them.” Derek toned.

“Why should I help you?” Scott asked a very good question.

“Because you need me.” Derek replied.

“Fine.” Scott sighed. “I’ll try.”

Stiles turned to me, a pleading look on his face. “Hey, you’re going with us, right?”

I shook my head, thinking it probably wasn’t a good idea.

“That’s probably not a good idea.” I voiced my thoughts aloud.

“Please.” Stiles begged. “We can talk, and you can help with Derek.”

“I do have a healing potion I can give him.” I said without thinking. I walked around to the other side of the jeep and slipped into the backseat, Stiles following me.

“Hey, get him out of here.” Scott ordered Stiles.

Stiles sighed and started the ignition. “I hate you so much for this.”

An hour later we had already stopped at my house for bandages and a healing potion for Derek’s gunshot wound, and I had cleaned him and patched him up. The potion worked for a second, healing the wound, until eventually, the skin opened back up. Now, we were driving around town, probably heading to Derek’s house.

Stiles threw down his phone on the dash board after another missed call to Scott.

“Hey, try not to bleed out on my seats, okay?” Stiles sighed angrily. “We’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” Derek panted, sweat dripping off his forehead.

“Your house.” Stiles eyed him, annoyed.

“What? No, you can’t take me there.” Derek protested.

“I can’t take you to your own house?” Stiles laughed in disbelief.

“Not when I can’t protect myself.” Derek said in a palpable tone.

Stiles slammed his hand on the steering wheel angrily, before pulling off to the side of the road.

“All right.” Stiles snapped. “What happens if Scott doesn’t find your little magic bullet, hmm? Are you dying?”

“Not yet.” Derek breathed heavily. “I have a last resort.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, popping my head in between the seats. “What last resort?”

He wasn’t going to chop his arm off, was he?

Derek didn’t respond, instead pulling up the sleeve on the injured arm and ripping off the gauze I taped to his skin. The bullet wound was nastier than before, like the potion irritated it, with blood dripping down his arm as soon as he took off the bandage.

Stiles gagged loudly, “Oh, my God. What is that? Oh, is that contagious? You know what, you should probably just get out.”

“Start. The. Car.” Derek exhaled. He glared over at Stiles menacingly. “Now.”

“I don’t think you should be barking orders with the way you look, okay?” Stiles yelled. “In fact, I think if I wanted to, I could probably drag your little werewolf ass out into the middle of the road and leave you for dead.”

It was silent for a moment, and while I thought about how hot Stiles was in that moment, Derek looked like he was going to murder him.

“Start the car, of I’m gonna rip her throat out—with my teeth.”

Stiles stared at Derek in silence for a moment, wondering if his threat was real. Before I could say anything, Stiles turned the engine over and pulled away from the curb.

Two hours later, I was munching on some curly fries that Stiles picked up from Otto’s and Derek looked on the verge of death. He even started to smell strange, but I wasn’t going to say anything, afraid that I’d get my head ripped off.

Stiles was on the phone with Scott was had been tricked into eating dinner with the Argent’s by Allison’s aunt, Kate.

“What am I supposed to do with him?” Stiles whined into the phone. “And, by the way, he’s starting to smell.”

There was silence as Scott replied.

“Like death.” Stiles answered, looking over at Derek with disdain. “What about your boss?”

Stiles suddenly groaned as Scott told him what to do, before handing the phone over to Derek. “You’re not going to believe where he’s telling me to take you.”

Derek breathed into the phone, “Did you find it?”

“How am I supposed to find one bullet? They have a million.” Scott said from the phone. Apparently, Derek had hit the speaker button when he took the phone from Stiles.

“This house is like—the fuckin’ Walmart of guns.” Scott continued.

“Look, if you don’t find it, then I’m dead, all right?” Derek wheezed.

“I’m starting to think that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” Scott quipped, causing me to giggle. Derek glared back at me before turning back to the phone.

“Then think about this.” Derek proposed. “The Alpha called you out against your will. He’s gonna do it again. Next time you either kill with him or you get killed. So, if you wanna stay alive, then you need me. Find the bullet.”

Derek hung up the phone and tossed it back to Stiles.

“Where did Scott tell you to take him?” I asked Stiles, leaning forward in between the driver and passenger seats.

Stiles grinned at me, “The animal clinic.”

When we got to the clinic, I took out my wand a whispered a quick, ‘Alohomora,’ while Stiles held Derek up. The spell efficiently unlocked the door, so I opened it, ushering Stiles and Derek inside. Derek collapsed onto a pile of dog food bags while Stiles’ phone dinged.

“Does Northern blue monkshood mean anything to you?” Stiles read off his phone, looking to Derek for an answer.

Derek sighed. “He has to bring me the bullet.”

“Why?” I asked, grabbing his arm to help him stand up off the dog food.

“’Cause I’m gonna die without it.”

“Okay, then.” I drawled out.

Stiles sighed while replying to Scott before rushing towards Derek and I. Together, we pulled Derek into the exam room. Derek pushed away from us, ripping off his long-sleeved shirt, and revealing his toned torso and back.

“Damn.” I muttered quietly, but somehow both boys heard me, each sending me a glare.

“You know, that really doesn’t look like anything some echinacea and a good night of sleep couldn’t take care of.” Stiles quipped, pointing to Derek’s wound.

The bullet hole never stopped bleeding, dripping onto the floor as Derek walked around the exam room, searching the drawers and cupboards for something. There were black veins crawling up Derek’s arm to his shoulder.

“When the infection reaches my heart, it’ll kill me.” Derek said slowly.

“’Positivity’ just isn’t in your vocabulary, is it?” Stiles joked.

Derek ignored him. “If he doesn’t get here with the bullet in time—last resort.”

“Which is?” I toned.

Derek turned around and slammed a bone saw onto the steel table. “One of you are gonna cut off my arm.”

Stiles picked the saw off the table and revved it, the blade moving back and forth rapidly.

“Oh, my God.” He squeaked. “What if you bleed to death?”

Derek tied a blue tourniquet around his upper arm, just above the black veins.

“It’ll heal if it works.” Derek mumbled.

“Ugh.” Stiles grimaced. “Look—I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because of the cutting through the flesh, the sawing of the bone, and especially the blood!” Stiles exclaimed, flailing his arms dramatically.

Derek slammed his hand down on the table, fed up. “You faint at the sight of blood?”

“No, but I might at the sight of a chopped-off arm!” Stiles retorted.

Derek sighed. “All right, fine. How about this? One of you cuts off my arm, or I’m gonna cut of her head!”

“Okay, you know what, I’m so not buying your threats any—”

Before Stiles could finish his sentence, Derek grabbed my dress, pulling my head closer to him so he had easier access to rip it off.

“Stiles!” I squealed in fright.

“Oh, my God!” Stiles panicked. “Okay. All right, bought, sold. Totally, I’ll do it. Just let go of her.”

Derek slowly let go of the front of my dress before gagging.

“What? What are you doing?” I asked as he leaned to the side of the table and started puking up black goo. It splattered onto the floor and sprinkled the bottom of my boots.

“My boots!” I yelled, as Stiles groaned, “Holy God, what the hell is that?”

Derek collapsed against the table, breathing heavily. “It’s my body—trying to heal itself.”

“Well, it’s not doing a very good job of it.” I spoke bluntly, inching away from the black blood.

“Now.” Derek looked at Stiles. “You gotta do it now.”

“Look, honestly, I don’t think I can.” Stiles said.

“Just do it!” Derek yelled loudly.

“Oh, my God.” Stiles said, quickly grabbing the bone saw and placing it on Derek’s gross arm. “Okay, okay. Oh, my God. All right, here we go!”

“Stiles, Y/N!” Scott called, slamming the lobby door shut as he walked through the building.

“Scott?” I called.

Scott walked into the exam room, took one look at the three of us and yelled, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Oh, you just prevented a lifetime of nightmares.” Stiles sighed in relief.

I crossed the room and helped Derek stand up straight, as it looked like he had little strength left.

“Did you get it?” Derek exhaled.

Scott nodded and pulled a large, golden bullet out of his pocket. Derek grabbed it and held it in front of his face.

“What are you going to do with it?” I asked the older werewolf.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna—” Derek repeated airily, before passing out altogether, dropping down on the floor with a splat.

The bullet went flying across the room and dropped down into the grate in the floor.

“No.” Scott yelled, running over to the grate. “No, no, no, no.”

Stiles and I kneeled by Derek’s head.

“Derek.” I said, cupping his handsome face in my hands. “Derek, come on, wake up.”

“Scott, what the fuck are we gonna do?” Stiles called out to Scott.

“I don’t know!” Scott exclaimed. “I can’t reach it.”

I shook Derek again, hoping that it would help wake him up, but it didn’t work. He stayed unconscious.

“He’s not waking up!” I shrieked, frightened that Derek was dead.

“I think he’s dying.” Stiles said unhelpfully. “I think he’s dead!”

“Just hold on!” Scott shouted.

Stiles and I looked at each other worriedly, but kept silent, allowing Scott to focus on what he was doing.

But he was taking too long to get the bullet, and Derek was going to die.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” I swore, pulling out my wand again. “Accio bullet!”

The bullet zoomed out of the grate and landed in Scott’s awaiting hands.

“I got it! I got it!” Scott chanted.

Stiles positioned himself over Derek, ready for a last resort. “Please don’t kill me for this.” He muttered, before raising his fist and punching Derek in the face.

Derek shot up, while Stiles held his fist, exclaiming in pain. I stood up while Scott and Stiles heaved Derek to his feet and handed the bullet to him.

Derek leaned against the table, bringing the bullet up to his mouth and biting off the top with his teeth. He tapped the bullet on the table and purple powder fell out of the casing, making a pile of the table. Derek took a random lighter from nowhere and lit the powder, causing it to spark and quickly burn out. He then took the ashes and hesitated before shoving them into his wound.

Derek fell onto the floor, screaming in pain as he arched his back. The wound slowly disappeared, along with the blood and black veins. He laid on the floor, gasping for air as the pain faded.

“That—was—awesome!” Stiles yelled, pumping his fist in the air. “Yes!”

Scott and I exchanged annoyed looks, before each of us gave Stiles a glare.

I turned to Derek. “Are you okay?”

“Well, except for the agonizing pain.” Derek quipped sarcastically, getting up to his feet.

“I’m guessing the ability to use sarcasm is a good sign of health.” Stiles said.

Derek glared ferociously at Stiles.

“Okay, we saved your life, which means you’re gonna leave us alone, you got that?” Scott said angrily. “And if you don’t, I’m gonna go back to Allison’s dad, and I’m gonna tell him everything—”

“You’re gonna trust them?” Derek interrupted Scott fiercely. “You think they can help you?”

“Well, why not?” Scott spluttered. “They’re a lot fucking nicer than you are!”

“I can show you exactly how nice they are.” Derek sneered, grabbing Scott’s arm.

“What do you mean?” Scott asked as Derek pulled him out of the clinic.

“I guess we’ll just stay to clean up!” I yelled after them and rolling my eyes.

I sighed as I picked up the mop and bucket that were in the corner, putting water into the bucket, and started mopping. Stiles shuffled awkwardly, causing me to roll my eyes.

“Straighten out the cabinets and drawers.” I ordered, pointing to the counter where Derek messed everything up.

After a few silent minutes of cleaning, Stiles spoke up, “Y/N?”

I closed my eyes and exhaled, knowing what he was going to bring up. “Stiles.”

“I’m really sorry.” He turned to me and looked at me with earnest eyes. “I really am.”

“Stiles—”

“No,” Stiles interrupted me. “Please just let me say something.”

“Okay…” I stopped mopping, since I was finished anyway, and straightened my back to look at him properly.

“I love you.” Stiles said. “You’re my best friend. You’re the one who helped me when my mom died, and you saved me from myself. Remember the other day? When you told me that I was your hero? Well, you’re mine, Y/N.”

He took a deep breath before continuing, “You’re like a breath of fresh air. And I can’t—I can’t lose you. I’m sorry I can’t love you the way you want, but I do love you. And we can’t let our friendship be ruined.”

I stared at him, speechless. I certainly did not expect for him to say that, and I felt myself slowly begin to break down and forgive him. He was right. I didn’t want to lose his friendship just because of a silly mark on our wrists.

I could move on, right? I mean, I had too. I couldn’t wait around forever for Stiles to decide he was in love with me. Plus, I didn’t want to be without friends, and I knew Scott would eventually side with Stiles.

“Okay.” I said, my voice quiet.

Stiles beamed at me, his beautiful, brown eyes lighting up. “Okay?”

I nodded. “Okay, but I’m still mad at you.”

Tag List

@julzdec @karamelcoveredolicity @thegirlalmighty01 @avadakedabitch @belleknows @supernaturallover2002 @dontstopxx @feelingsareharddd @brien-odylan @shewritesshedraws @dylnobrien1911 @kaleyana @mad-hatter-021

#stiles x reader #teen wolf rewrite #stiles stilinski imagine #stiles stilinski smut #stiles #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinski x reader #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #stiles x oc #oc x stiles #reader x stiles #stiles series #stiles stilinski series #soulmate au #teen wolf fanfiction #stiles fanfiction #dylan o'brien smut #dylan o'brien

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klanced · 7 years ago

Note

Katie I'm going to beat your ass because of Theo. What happened to him, how is he doing? I want to see reunite with his Husband, dang it!

I was originally going to name Theo “Marco”, but then Season 5 came out and Lance mentioned having a brother named Marco and I was like -_-

Shiro and Theo met on a blind date that was set up by a mutual friend!

Both of them ended up being almost an hour late to their date because of their busy work schedules, but luckily they both arrived at the exact same time.

Being late for dates becomes a running joke between them because it happens so often lmao

They met when Shiro was 23 and Theo was 25; Shiro had just started working full-time at the Garrison, and Theo was nearing the end of medical school.

Theo started college when he was 17 because he’s a #prodigy (also because he skipped third grade), and ended up graduating early as well thanks to his accelerated undergrad program.

They both hit it off immediately and started dating quite happily for a few months. Then, at the end of the school year, Theo graduated from med school and ended up accepting a residency offer at a hospital a state over.

Although Theo isn’t actually that far away, the demands of his residency program + Shiro’s responsibilities at the Garrison meant they basically had a long-distance relationship. Fortunately, technology in the Voltron universe seems to be a little bit more advanced than our own, so they had no trouble staying in contact (Skype dates, babey!!)

Theo was the one to propose :’)

He accidentally dropped the ring in the grocery store and decided “fuck it” when he realized Shiro saw it.

After the Kerberos Mission failed and Shiro was declared to be KIA, Theo flung himself back into his work.

“I’m fine,” Theo lied.

He formed a support network with Colleen Holt and Shiro’s close relatives, though he focused more on helping Colleen with her grief instead of dealing with his own.

Theo also tried to stay in contact with Keith and encouraged him to stay in school, something that only lasted a few months before Keith was booted from the Garrison and dropped off the face of the Earth.

Keith’s disappearance did Not help Theo’s stress levels.

Unlike Keith and Pidge, Theo wanted nothing to do with the Garrison after the accident. Obviously he also wanted answers as to what the hell actually happened, but asking questions required interacting with the people who left Shiro to die in space, which was something he couldn’t stomach.

After the funeral (which was televised, to Theo’s complete distaste), a Garrison official approached Theo and asked him when he’d like to clear out Shiro’s room at the Garrison.

Theo, rather appropriately, lost his shit and almost had to be escorted out of his goddamn husband’s goddamn funeral reception.

Theo is the reason why Commander Iverson has to wear an eye-patch.

Misc:

They’re both broke millennials (even with all his scholarships and financial aid, Theo has SO MUCH student debt) and for a really long time they considered getting married at the courthouse just to save on having a wedding.

But then Theo’s mom bullied Commander Iverson into letting Theo and Shiro have their ceremony and reception at the Garrison for free of charge.

Theo’s mom: You’re throwing my son-in-law into God knows where space, the least you could do is pay for his wedding!

Iverson: Ma’am, the taxpayers-

Theo’s mom: I am the taxpayers!

Commander Holt was the officiant of their wedding :’)

Shiro wore his uniform because he knows Theo thinks he looks super sexy in it.

Iverson was also invited to the wedding as thanks for the venue, even though Theo hates his guts. He and Shiro compromised by sending Iverson the expensive gift list.

Iverson gave them a wicked expensive toaster.

Months later, after the Garrison blamed Shiro for the failure of the Kerberos Mission, Iverson opened his door to find a smashed to hell toaster on his step.

Theo was kind enough to include the receipt with it.

#theo is definitely some kind of oncologist......#i'm half tempted to make him a pediatric hematologist oncologist like my dad was just bc that's the field of cancer treatment i know best #and we are nothing but AUTHENTIC at katie klanced dot com!#voltron #shiro #theo vergara #keith #ask #katiecanons #anonymous #(wiggles my cute little butt) come get some anon ;)

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bythebigcoolingtower · 7 years ago

Text

I Wrote a Simpsons Script...

Over the last couple of months, when I’ve had time, I’ve tried to write something that was not only better than what’s currently being produced but could also find a place lower down the seasons. I don’t think I’ve been successful but I thought I’d share my endeavors for an important reason: It made me realize how hard coming up with an idea, writing and editing a script for a cartoon was. For some background, I write scripts for films part time and try to sell them, so far (obviously, because I wouldn't shut up about it if I had) I’ve not been able too (partly because it’s tough to sell scripts in England and partly because I don’t have the money/time/resources to make them independently) but I do have some experience in shaping a narrative, the structure of scripts and other techniques, so I’ve not walked into this blind. Whether it’s good or not is your opinion, seriously, feel free to criticize it, if you think it’s bad, tell me, I’m a grown man, I can take criticism. If you like it, that’s allowed too, but the main question is this: What season do you think it’d fit into?

Be warned, it’s 30 pages on Word so it’s a long read, it’s your choice, you don’t have to. For reference: Italics are description, bold is who’s talking, normal is dialogue, (Beside name is ‘Off Screen’, under name is the way the line is delivered).

(Disclaimer: I obviously don’t own the rights to the Simpsons, this is a non-profit idea and simply a writing exercise to keep me amused, so I believe it falls within fair use, please don’t sue! If you want me to take it down, I will.)

OPENING CREDITS

COUCH GAG: The family sit on the couch, Maggie is a baby’s bottle, Lisa a plastic cup, Bart a glass, Marge a wine glass and Homer a beer mug. They are then filled with drink, Maggie with milk, Lisa with orange juice, Bart with Buzz cola, Marge with Wine and Homer with Duff.

EXT. CHARITY FUN FAIR – DAY

We move down from a clear blue sky past a sign, ‘CHARITY FUN FAIR: WHERE ONLY THE CHAIRTY IS OBLIGATORY’, down into the park which has been taken over by various things.

There’s a puppet show, some games and a stage. It all looks very cost effective, as if they wanted to bare minimum to maximize profits.

Walking around are the Simpson’s, looking a bit bored, except Marge who’s seems disappointed. Lisa holds a brochure about the fair.

MARGE

Fifteen dollars for cotton candy, what charity would charge such high prices?

Lisa consults the brochure.

LISA

‘Quimby retirement homes’.

(she reads more)

He wants a place in Tobago.

BART

I thought he already embezzled funds for that?

LISA

No that was for his golf club membership in Bermuda.

HOMER

(wistful)

I wish I could retire.

BART

What’s stopping you?

HOMER

Burns had us sign contracts in perpetuity in exchange for a second ice machine.

STAGE, CHARITY FUN FAIR – LATER

Quimby is on stage, along with a few others, and has a big smile on his face. Something sits under a sheet on a table beside him. He approaches the microphone to address the crowd, which includes the Simpsons.

QUIMBY

Thank you ladies and gentleman for your tremendous charity. I’m one step closer to getting a holiday home in Trinidad.

There’s scattered applause, murmurs. Quimby doesn’t care, carries on as an assistant walks over with a bucket.

QUIMBY

To show my appreciation I will now draw a winner from this bucket of parking tickets, that’s worth more than the prize in question, this-

Quimby unveils the prize, a toaster oven, has to be told by his assistant what it is.

QUIMBY

Toaster oven, I didn’t want as a gift.

No applause this time, just coughs and confused looks. Quimby draws a ticket.

QUIMBY

Marge Simpson.

The family react with little enthusiasm. Scattershot applause as they move up onto the stage.

QUIMBY

(to Lisa)

Congratulations, Marge.

He shakes Lisa’s hand, she can’t be bothered to tell him, it’s over quickly enough.

QUIMBY

(to his Assistant)

Bundle the cash, my flight leaves in an hour.

Quimby and his assistant leave, the stage is vacated by all but the Simpsons and a reporter, TOM, 20′s, The crowd disperses.

TOM

This is headline stuff, can I get a quote?

LISA

This is your headline? I thought you reported on real news, like your stories on the upcoming winter.

TOM

That was a Game of Thrones review.

LISA

Oh.

TOM

We haven’t printed a real news story since the town got high speed broadband. No one reads the paper anymore.

MARGE

Well, it would be nice to be named in the paper in a context other than: “we apologize for erroneously reporting the death of Homer Simpson”.

TOM

(to Homer)

Oh hey, I thought you looked familiar.

HOMER

Can you print a different picture of me this time? That old one makes me look fat, I’m portly.

TOM

Sure, we’ll send our new guy round later.

LISA

I thought Fred was your photographer?

TOM

He was until 7/11 poached him. They offered him something we couldn’t.

BART

Job satisfaction?

TOM

A wage.

(pause)

Oh and that.

INT. DINING ROOM, SIMPSON HOUSE – NIGHT

The family are sat around the table eating.

HOMER

This is great pasta honey.

MARGE

It’s Shepard’s pie.

HOMER

Do you want the compliment or not?

Moe enters, camera in hand.

MOE

Hey everyone.

HOMER

Hey Moe-

(sees camera)

Are you the Shoppers new photographer?

Moe looks around, stutters.

MOE

Uh... yeah... I sure am.

LISA

How did you get in?

Moe panics slightly.

MOE

Gather round, picture time.

There’s a knock on the door.

MARGE

I should get that.

Marge walks past Moe, who stands awkwardly at the top of the room, to the front door.

DOOR

Marge opens the door to CLIVE BREWER, 38, average looking, gentle.

CLIVE

I’m Clive Brewer, from the Shopper.

MARGE

If your-

Marge turns right to find Moe has gone, then left to see an open window at the back of the living room.

MARGE

Never mind. Please, come in.

DINING ROOM

Marge shuts the front door and walks Clive into the room, then sits back down.

CLIVE

Hi, it’s nice to meet you all. I thought it’d be good to have the toaster oven in the picture.

HOMER

The what?

CLIVE

The prize you won.

Nothing, the family don’t remember it.

CLIVE

Earlier today.

Nope.

CLIVE

It’s the reason I’m here.

HOMER

You should probably just take the picture.

CLIVE

Alright, big smiles.

The family bunch up, Clive takes the picture.

THE SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER

HEADLINE: LOCAL FAMILY FILLS PICTURE SPACE

SUB STORY: FRED PROMOTED TO ASSISTANT MANAGER

INT. GROCERY STORE – THE NEXT DAY (MORNING)

The family are out shopping, Marge reads the newspaper, very proud that they’re on the front.

MARGE

What a great picture, we’ll have to ask Clive for a copy, he’s so talented and nice.

HOMER

Pfft, he’s no nicer than me, Carl, Lenny or Moe.

MARGE

Last week you told me Moe throw a mug at you.

HOMER

(laughs)

Oh, honey, that was only because I hit Lenny in the head with a pool cue to stop him biting Carl after he’d bruised Lenny’s arm in Moe’s annual pain Olympics.

Marge stares at him, doesn’t like any of that.

EXT. SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER – LATER ON

The shopper is housed in a wide, one storey building, Marge’s station wagon is parked outside.

INT. FOYER, SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER – SAME TIME

Marge carries Maggie with her as she stands at the reception desk, a woman, FELICITY, walks over to her.

FELICITY

Hi, can I help?

MARGE

I was looking for Clive Brewer, the photographer?

FELICITY

He should be at his desk. We can look after your baby while you talk to him. We’re running a day care to add a little extra cash until our readership picks up.

MARGE

You are? I didn’t know that?

FELICITY

You didn’t? We advertise it all the time-

(pause)

Oh.

OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

Marge enters what should be a loud bustling office, full of journalists and writers, but instead finds around twenty very unenthusiastic employees, mainly students, not doing much at all.

Clive stands out like a sore thumb, not least because he’s stationed by a window with the sun is beaming through it.

Marge walks over, Clive sees her, smiles.

CLIVE

Marge, hi, I assume you’re here because we referred to Homer as a “buffoon” in the article.

MARGE

Well, he is really more of an oaf but I was actually hoping I could get a copy of the picture you took. It’d be nice to have one were Homer isn’t giving the kids rabbit ears.

She takes out her phone, opens up the picture folder and shows Clive several photo’s as she’s described. The shadow on the wall behind the kids makes them look like characters from ‘Life in Hell’.

MARGE

I just don’t get why people find it funny.

Clive laughs. Stops when he really hears what Marge said.

CLIVE

Sure, I’ll print you off a copy.

Tom, walking past at the time, overhears the conversation.

TOM

The printer here doesn’t work.

CLIVE

It doesn’t?

TOM

No, wasn’t this explained when you were given the tour?

CLIVE

I was supposed to have had a tour?

Tom looks around.

TOM

(covering)

No.

He walks off. Clive sighs.

CLIVE

I guess I can’t print you off a copy.

Marge can see his disappointment, smiles trying to perk him up.

MARGE

Don’t worry, we have a printer a home, you can bring the picture there.

CLIVE

(trying)

Sounds like a plan.

EXT. PARK – THE SAME TIME

Bart, Lisa and an annoyed looking Homer walk around the park, it’s barely been cleaned since yesterday, or the days before that.

HOMER

How many days do I have to do this for?

LISA

Dr. Hibbert said you need to walk for at least an hour a day for the next three months.

HOMER

Three months! What’s the point?

LISA

(concerned)

Dad, he said in your condition you could die at any moment.

HOMER

(grumbling)

That can’t come soon enough.

Lisa gives him an off look, concerned but confused as to whether Homer actually understands.

BART

Why am I here?

LISA

You were supposed to be walking Santa’s Little Helper.

BART

Oh, yeah.

(pause)

I’m sure he’s getting plenty of fresh air.

CUT TO: The basement of the Simpson house, pitch black, SLH barking incessantly.

BACK TO: Homer and the kids walking, Lisa now concerned by the amount of rubbish about.

LISA

Did they even bother cleaning up from yesterday?

They pass a crumpled sign: 2017 CHARITY DRIVE. QUIMBY WANTS A PORSCHE.

LISA

Or last year?

HOMER

Lisa, fly tipping is a part of nature, ever since the caveman.

LISA

It’s destroying the natural environment of the animals.

BART

Looks like there adapting to it.

We pan across the rubbish, which the animals are using, including a family of raccoons operating the toaster oven.

LISA

Well, it’s not right, animals deserve to live with the same rights as us, nature deserves to flourish and not be cluttered by plastics that should be being recycled. I’m going to start a group to clean this place up.

Homer gets down to Lisa’s level, puts his hand on her shoulder to calm her.

HOMER

Lisa, is this the type of thing were you ask me to join and I keep saying no and you just keep asking and interrupting while I’m trying to drink beer and watch TV, until I eventually cave?

LISA

(shyly)

Yes.

HOMER

Then consider me in.

INT. KITCHEN, SIMPSON HOUSE – A LITTLE LATER

Marge carries Maggie into the kitchen, leading Clive through with her.

She puts Maggie in the high chair.

MARGE

Take a seat, I think the printer’s in the basement.

Clive takes a seat at the table, takes his bag off as he sits, from that he takes out his laptop and opens it on the table.

Marge walks to the basement door, opens it, SLH rushes out.

MARGE

Hmmm.

She disappears downstairs. Clive begins clicking through his laptop, trying to find the image.

He goes through various folders, opens one that he hadn’t meant too, it’s full of beautiful shots, landscapes of parks, woods and forests.

Clive opens one, a melancholic look upon his face. Maggie begins laughing.

Turning, Clive sees that it’s the picture Maggie is amused by.

CLIVE

You like it huh?

(pause)

Yeah, it’s alright.

Marge can be heard coming back up.

CLIVE

Let’s just keep it between us.

He backs out of the folder, Maggie stops laughing.

Marge re-enters, carrying a really old looking printer.

MARGE

Here we go. We only use it when Lisa wants to print out protest leaflets. Luckily she’s boycotting paper right now.

CLIVE

I’m sure it’ll work fine.

Marge puts it on the top, plugs it in, it comes on immediately. She hands Maggie the bottle she’s reaching for.

CLIVE

It’s connected. Here-

From his bag Clive takes a ream of paper, hands it to Marge.

MARGE

Do you always carry so much paper?

CLIVE

Oh, I took it from the office.

(pause)

I mean, there not actually paying me.

Marge shrugs, puts the paper in. Clive clicks on the picture, selects print, the process begins immediately.

He backs out of the folder, leaving him on the page with all the folders on.

Quickly the picture prints, Marge is very pleased with it.

MARGE

What a great shot. You really do have a talent.

Clive is non committal, modest.

CLIVE

Maybe.

MARGE

I’ve got the perfect frame for it too, hold there.

Marge leaves Clive sat with Maggie again, she sees the situation, ‘accidentally’ drops her bottle on the laptop, the printer starts up again.

Clive turns, looks panicked once he sees that it’s printing the pictures from earlier.

CLIVE

What are the odds?

One after another they print, Clive tries to grab them as quickly as he can, to hide them but can’t. Maggie laughs.

MARGE (O.S)

It fits perfectly.

Marge enters to see Clive stuffing a couple of the printed pictures into the toaster, she looks suspiciously at him, wondering what he’s up to.

At that moment the printer jams. The final fully printed picture flies out, lands at Marge’s feet.

Putting down the family portrait, she picks up the printed picture, a glorious shot of the early evening.

MARGE

Clive, did you take this.

Clive looks embarrassed, by both his actions and Marge seeing his work.

CLIVE

(nervous)

Yeah.

MARGE

It’s so expressive-

She moves around, fishes another from the oven.

MARGE

They all are. Why would you hide them?

CLIVE

I guess because they remind me of what I had, lost.

MARGE

Please, sit down, tell me.

Clive takes one of the pictures from the toaster, gives it to Maggie, then sits down.

INT. GYM, SCHOOL – 30 YEARS EARLIER

An eight year old Clive sits on a stall.

CLIVE (O.S)

My passion for photography came from my dad.

A photographer stands behind an old camera, readies the shot, beside him is Clive’s dad, DANIEL BREWER, 36, taking multiple pictures.

CLIVE (O.S)

He was always taking pictures of me, the whole family.

MONTAGE - OVER THE FOLLOWING YEARS

Daniel takes pictures of Clive in the bathroom, sleeping, at school, playing sports, as he has his first kiss, first date and even through the window of his first ‘adult sleep over’.

CLIVE (O.S)

I just started doing the same.

Clive takes pictures of Daniel in the bathroom, sleeping, at work, watching sports on TV, watching Clive play sports whilst Clive plays and while Daniel is taking pictures of Clive.

MARGE (O.S)

Are you two still close?

CLIVE (O.S)

We haven’t been close for a while.

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS – DAY, 20 YEARS AGO

Daniel stands in the middle of the tracks, camera ready.

CLIVE (O.S)

He was trying to take a picture of the front of a train.

A train can be heard approaching, Daniel takes his stance.

The train approaches from behind Daniel.

EXT. FUNERAL, CEMETERY – A COUPLE WEEKS LATER

Daniel’s headstone is a camera, his picture is a picture of him taking a picture of the picture taker, presumably Clive.

The family weeps in sadness, as does a now eighteen year old Clive. Still, he continues to take pictures.

CLIVE (O.S)

After that I vowed to take my time in my work and for a while that went well.

INT. HIGH END MAGAZINE COMPANY – TEN YEARS LATER

A happy Clive, now twenty eight, shows off the negatives of his work to his boss, MR. HARTFORD, 44.

He gets the thumbs up, which he takes a picture of.

CLIVE (O.S)

But it didn’t last, with smart phones, people wanted shots quicker and I just didn’t work fast enough.

EXT. TOWN SQUARE – TIME LAPSE, OVER 12 HOURS

Clive arrives in the empty town square to take a picture of a new sculpture, he takes his stance and waits.

Over the course of the next twelve hours, hundreds of photographers, selfie taking tourists and interested locals take pictures.

There’s also a protest about the statue, people with banners and plaques turn up, then the police arrive to stop them, there’s a conversation and then the police join in with the protesters.

Lastly a work crew turns up and removes the statue, Clive is alone again, finally takes the picture.

INT. KITCHEN, SIMPSON HOUSE – THIRTY MINUTES LATER

Marge has sat and listened, she and Clive have also drunk coffee in the interim. Maggie is asleep, holding the picture Clive gave her.

CLIVE

Eventually the work began to dry up, now I’m wherever here is, taking pictures for nothing.

MARGE

Clive, I’m so sorry.

He sits upset, but he’s been like this for a while so it’s almost normal to him.

CLIVE

It’s not the work or money I miss, it’s the feeling. That passion I used to have when I was an eight year old, like there was nothing more important.

(sigh)

I wish I could capture that again.

HALLWAY – AT THAT MOMENT

The door bursts open, an impassioned Lisa enters as SLH bolts out the house.

LISA

(loud, excitable)

Mom, get the printer, were making flyers!

EXT. PARK – TWO DAYS LATER (MORNING)

Lisa has organized an impressive line-up, along with the family, her and Bart’s school classes, Skinner, Willie and Grampa, Jasper and the old Jewish man. Each has a rubbish picker, bag and hi-vis jacket.

Skinner looks annoyed and anxious, walks over to Lisa, who’s reading through her to-do list.

SKINNER

Exactly how many more favors does the school owe you? I feel this is bordering on absurd, especially since you already hijacked the band to play for sick children at the hospital.

LISA

Your right, maybe I have been abusing my power.

Skinner relaxes, but Lisa isn’t done.

LISA

Although I’m quite sure the building shouldn’t be held together with driftwood and crazy glue.

All Skinner’s good thoughts have gone, he groans.

SKINNER

Young lady, I’d like to see you run a school on two hundred and seventy five dollars a month without resorting to crazy glue and criminality.

LATER ON THAT DAY

Everyone is picking rubbish up, rather un-enthusiastically, but slowly the park is looking a little better.

Sat under a tree, watching, is Clive he eats a toasted sandwich. Marge walks over to him.

MARGE

Clive-

(sees the sandwich)

Where’d you get that?

CLIVE

A raccoon gave it too me.

MARGE

Oh.

(pause)

Is any of this inspiring you?

CLIVE

It’s great to watch your daughter care so much about nature and boss around her principal but it feels like something’s missing, I can’t put my finger on it.

Lisa, seeing Marge and Clive talking, has come over.

LISA

Mr. Brewer, maybe joining in will inspire you, being involved with the experience.

Clive stands up, sandwich in hand.

CLIVE

Your right, it’d certainly be more helpful than me just sitting around. Hand me a stick.

In comes a stick, held by Homer, his bag and jacket in the other hand.

HOMER

Have mine.

Clive takes it, Homer runs off, drops the rest of his stuff.

LISA

Dad!

He walks back to Lisa.

HOMER

Lisa, honey, I wouldn’t leave unless it was very important.

LISA

But-

Homer snatches Clive’s sandwich-

HOMER

Yoink!

Then runs off.

CUT TO: Close up, Homer, moments later. He laughs to himself.

HOMER

Got away clean.

He looks around, finds he’s back in the park, gear on. He stares at his legs, accusingly.

HOMER

(to his legs)

I said go to Moe!

Homer looks back up, finds Moe stood there, in full gear.

HOMER

Moe!

(confused)

What are you doing here?

Moe laughs, looks away, remembering.

MOE

Well, you remember the other day, when I was in your house?

He looks back to Homer, who’s gone, his stuff on the floor.

Moe sighs, looks away, finds Homer stood the other side of him, chastising his legs, he looks up.

HOMER

Moe!

(confused)

What are you doing here?

TIME LAPSE – OVER THE NEXT FEW HOURS

Lisa, Clive and the rest pick up what rubbish they can, but it’s a losing battle.

First the other kids leave at three o’clock with the school day over, then the old folks at four being called back for bedtime, then Skinner and Willie leave.

Now with only Clive and the family they face other residents openly fly tipping as they clean up. For everything cleaned three more things are dropped.

It hits early evening, everyone bar Lisa is exhausted.

7:10PM

Maggie is asleep on Marge’s shoulder, even she is yawning.

MARGE

Lisa, I think we should stop for today, we need food and rest. We’ll come back tomorrow.

Lisa puts another can in the bag, knows that Marge is right but has a hard time accepting it.

LISA

(sadly)

But we aren’t even close to half way done and Clive-

She looks across the park, to the tree Clive was sat under earlier, where he is now, grabbing his stuff.

MARGE

It’ll be better tomorrow.

Lisa well’s up.

LISA

But if we don’t do the work today, there won’t be a tomorrow.

In goes another can, her bag splits, the rubbish falls out and she bursts into tears.

The family stand, as sad as Lisa but unable to help her.

From the tree Clive can hear Lisa, he turns and sees her, his eyes ache over her pain, he can feel his own, the rejection, the loss of his father, in the pit of his stomach.

Grabbing his camera, Clive steels up, he aims and takes a picture.

INT. OFFICE, SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER – LATER THAT NIGHT

ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN: The picture of Lisa crying, rubbish at her feet, family beside her. The headline reads: TOWN MUST CLEAN UP ACT.

Alone, Clive writes the story himself.

PRINTING ROOM – LATER

The paper runs through the machines, Clive snaps the process.

At the end of the process, the papers are bundled, Clive snaps it.

INT. BACK OF VAN – EARLY MORNING

Paperboys throw bundles of the paper onto the street for waiting sellers, Clive is in the van handing the papers to them and, of course, taking pictures as he does.

EXT. STREET – MORNING

A young paperboy rides his bike quickly, throwing papers to the doors.

Behind him Clive runs, struggling to keep up and take pictures at the same time.

INT. BEDROOM, CLIVE’S APARTMENT – A LITTLE LATER

Clive sleeps, exhausted, his finger on the resting on the button of his camera which faces him.

INT. LISA’S ROOM, SIMPSON HOUSE – 7:30AM

Marge is waking Lisa up, but Lisa is reluctant.

LISA

(sleepy)

Do I have to get up?

MARGE

No, honey but at least read the paper first.

This intrigues Lisa, she gets up fully and is handed the paper by Marge.

Her eyes light up seeing the headline and picture she reads the story below. The sub headline is: FRED FIRED. PAGES 3-12.

LISA

Do you think it made a difference?

MARGE

I wouldn’t have woke you up if it hadn’t.

EXT. PARK – 9AM

The whole town, inspired by the picture or perhaps feeling really guilty for making an eight year old cry, are out picking up rubbish.

Lisa watches over them, helping herself.

Clive enters the park, having just got back up, Lisa spots him immediately.

LISA

Oh Clive, thank you!

She gives Clive a hug, he half smiles, a little embarrassed.

CLIVE

Wow, I didn’t think it would have so much of an impact.

LISA

Then why did you do it?

CLIVE

Because I didn’t want you to give up, I wanted you to keep that passion, that fight that I lost.

LISA

Do you think you’ll rediscover yours?

CLIVE

Maybe in time, but right now I want to take pictures to show what can be achieved with a passionate spirit.

PICTURE MONTAGE – OVER THE REST OF THE DAY

We start with a picture of Lisa stood in front of a large group of helpers. Lisa working within that group.

Moe, Homer and the other barflies picking up cans and bottle’s of beer.

Skinner picking up bricks. Skinner putting the bricks in his car.

Homer picking up the toaster oven. The raccoons fighting Homer for the toaster oven. Marge, Bart and Maggie helping Homer take the toaster oven. The raccoons crying.

Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph putting together a bin. Then putting Milhouse in the bin.

Shots of people cleaning, the park changing and eventually being clean.

Finally the whole town together in a photograph, in the background is a plane.

5PM

The town talks as it begins to disperse, rolling past the park is a black car, Quimby’s. The window rolls down.

INT. BACK, QUIMBY’S CAR – CONTINUOUS

Quimby, very well tanned, takes off his sunglasses to look at the scene in the park.

QUIMBY

Someone find out what’s happening.

One of his bodyguards exits the car.

Through the window we watch the bodyguard, who is dressed top half in a suit and bottom half in shorts and sandals from the holiday, walk over to Carl and talk to him. He walks back to the car, leans in at the window.

BODYGUARD

Apparently the town came together to clean the park and Lenny’s having an ice cream party, can we go?

QUIMBY

No you moron, but this park thing, that we can exploit.

(thinks)

How much money do we have left from the holiday?

BODYGUARD

Around three hundred dollars sir.

QUIMBY

Perfect.

EXT. SPRINGFIELD MUSEUM OF ART – THE NEXT NIGHT

Lit up and looking good the museum has a stream of patrons entering it.

ENTRANCE – SAME TIME

A doorman stands selling tickets, beside him there’s a sign:

TONIGHT – CLIVE BREWER EXHIBITION (ADULTS: $30, KIDS $20)

TOMORROW – PICTURES FROM YESTERDAYS EXHIBIT.

INT. MAIN, SPRINGFIELD MUSEUM OF ART – SAME TIME

Everyone in town is about, looking at the various pictures on the wall, a photographer, FRED, takes pictures of them.

Lisa stands looking at one of the pictures holding a program from the evening, Clive walks over to her.

CLIVE

What do you think?

LISA

They’re so good, I’m really impressed.

CLIVE

I’m glad you like them. Honestly I’ve never had a crowd this big for my work before, where’s the money going to?

Lisa consults the program.

LISA

It’s going to pay off Mayor Quimby’s tax bill.

CLIVE

Well, I would complain and say something like “if only you could clean up the corruption in the mayors office like you did the park”, but he did pay me two hundred dollars for tonight.

MAN (O.S)

How would you like to make twice that a year?

Clive turns. His old boss Mr. Hartford is stood there.

CLIVE

Mr. Hartford? What are you doing here?

MR. HARTFORD (MAN)

We were in town to do a story on small town mayoral corruption, until Mayor Quimby paid me fifty dollars not too. Then we saw the sign, figured we’d see your work.

CLIVE

And?

MR. HARTFORD

It’s impressive, so how about coming back on staff?

CLIVE

Last time we spoke you said as long your daughter had a smart phone you wouldn’t need me?

MR. HARTFORD

(laughing)

Yes, what a four years it’s been.

(serious)

Unfortunately Stephanie has gone from a cute twelve year old to a sullen sixteen year old.

Across the room STEPHANIE, 16, is sat on the floor, headphones on, in her own world.

MR. HARTFORD

The only pictures she takes now are of herself looking unhappy. I need a true photographer, I need you Clive.

CLIVE

Okay, but not for four hundred pound a year.

MR. HARTFORD

How about four hundred pounds a day?

CLIVE

Deal.

He almost snaps Mr. Hartford’s hand off shake on it, which Hartford doesn’t quite understand.

MR. HARTFORD

(thinking)

Did I say a day or a month?

LISA

A day.

MR. HARTFORD

Darn it.

(sighs)

Nevermind, I probably fire you in a couple weeks anyway, I fire everyone eventually.

Mr. Hartford walks off.

MR. HARTFORD (O.S)

Stephanie, you’re fired!

LISA

I guess this means you’re leaving?

CLIVE

If it’s any consolation I probably would have left anyway, the paper hired Fred back.

Fred walks over at the same time.

LISA

Are the rumours true, Fred?

FRED

(staunch)

No comment.

He takes a picture of Lisa and Clive, then leaves.

CLIVE

Thank you, Lisa. You’ve given me a taste of the passion I had for photography and a chance to have another go at making it into a career.

LISA

Well, thank you for helping me clean the park.

CLIVE

I have something to give you.

From his pocket Clive takes a picture, an image of train tracks, hands it to Lisa.

CLIVE

This is the last picture my dad ever took. I want you to have it.

LISA

Clive, I can’t take this.

CLIVE

Why not? It’s just a copy.

LISA

Oh.

QUIMBY (O.S)

Yes, alright now.

Lisa, Clive, and the rest of the patrons turn to see Quimby at a hastily set up mic stand.

QUIMBY

I’d like to welcome everyone, from art lovers to lovers of free food-

Cut to Homer holding two bowls of food that was supposed to be for everyone.

QUIMBY (CONT’D)

To this celebration of our town and it’s ‘do it anyway’ spirit. And now, welcome the man who took the pictures you see here tonight, without permission, Clive Brewer.

Clive looks surprised, walks over to the mic, applauded.

CLIVE

Wow, what a reception, but your applause should be for Lisa, she’s the one who inspired all of this.

He waves Lisa over, drops the mic stand to her size and moves away from it. She gets even greater applause.

LISA

I believe strongly that this town can be truly great if we all work together and to better ourselves each and every day.

She looks across to where Clive was, he’s gone, she looks back at the crowd, all of whom are fully engaged by her words.

Taking a deep breathe she continues on.

EXT. SPRINGFIELD MUSEUM OF ART – SAME TIME

Clive watches Lisa through the window, smiles, takes a picture of her, then moves on.

CREDITS

We see Clive’s journey back to his job, then his work on the job.

We end on three pictures. The first of the front of a train. The second the back end of that same train and the third a picture taken of Clive by a nurse as he lays in a full body cast in a hospital. Big smile on his face.

END

#The Simpsons #Not tall or wide

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awkwarddystopianwarlord · 3 years ago

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The Murder Building: Part II

So came the day when I moved in. Because the stairwell only has a one way door that doesn’t let you back up, we had to claim one of the elevators as our own to move all my junk to the seventh floor. With the help of my mother and one of my friends, we hauled boxes in trips, stuffed the elevator, carried them to my suite, and went back down to do it all over. I can’t quite remember how long it took. It wasn’t terrible once we got the hang of things but it was still time consuming. Especially given the fact that we had been up since the early morning to get to the island which consists of taking two ferries and driving across Vancouver. By the time my absurd amount of belongings were all accounted for in my new home, we were bushed.

Eventually my mother helped me set up my futon-bunk bed situation so we would actually have a place to sleep. The next day she had a friend that lived somewhat nearby, and his date-mate help set up my IKEA-cubby thing so with that, my bed, and a desk I also had, that was all my furniture. After a small adventure to Value Village, I now had a nice chair. It was the only official sitting item that I owned.

My mother had stayed over the weekend, but after that, I was left to my own devices. I had to wait for my internet modem to come in which was supposed to take a couple days, which really gave me nothing else to do but unpack. She had helped me, before she left, to find a reasonably priced, obscure internet provider that would send a human over to plug in the modem. During the few days I was waiting for that, my house-room was coming together to an extent. I had all my furniture where I wanted it, my clothes were organized into my cubbies and the closet, and my hoard of mugs now dwelled in the kitchen rather than a box I had in my old garage-man-cave. We had brought over a succulent plant from home and my mum’s friend gifted me a pothos plant, so the two of those brought some homey feels.

The day finally came for me to have an internet connection. A fellow came by and had to sit awkwardly under my desk which happened to be right in front of the plug in. He tinkered for a bit before telling me some unexpected news. The wire that went from my suite, up in the wall, to the satellite dish on the roof of the building, was broken. It had either been cut or caught somewhere within the wall and he couldn’t reach it to connect the modem. In other words, I had spent eighty-seven dollars for nothing. It also turned out that Shaw was the provider for the building so I, who used Telus, couldn’t get any sort of assistance given that they didn’t support the building in any way. To say the least, I was fecked. I already had to pay for extra data on my phone twice as I was using it as a hotspot for my laptop and ipad. I figured that I was damned to having to use a nearby Starbucks as my sole source of internet. I had spent the week figuring out what the hell to do for that, setting up my house, and rewatching the entirety of Game of Thrones for the third time on my DVD boxed set. It should not have only taken a week to get through that, but it did. I have a wee DVD player for my laptop and just sat on my bed in utter defeat watching my favorite characters die..again. I felt so constricted without the ability to connect to the rest of the world properly and I was incredibly pleased to find that Telus offered this little data hub. It worked as a source of internet connection for those that lived in rural places. It was a blessing from the universe and the feeling of suffocating isolation lifted. The first hurdle I faced, now defeated.

The second hurdle I faced was when it was decided that our bathrooms would be made over, which is all well and good to an extent. What perturbed me was that I had just finished unpacking and sorting my belongings out, bathroom included and now I had to take everything out. The construction lads would come in around eight-thirty in the morning and work until about four every day. As someone who sleeps in till about ten-thirty, this really sucked. I was also not allowed to use the shower the entirety of them fixing up the bathroom. The office ladies, however, gave keys to unused suites for us tenants, which I will say, comes in handy when most of the building is empty. So for a week, I would go up to the nineteenth floor and shower. We were allowed to leave our toiletries up there since each person had their own suite, which was nice. The whole thing though became so inconvenient.

I was also in the market for a job at the time and I had to wake up much earlier in the morning just to get ready and dressed before a horde of men entered my room-house. I’m also intensely awkward and shy so having to move around them everytime I left gave me a sense of dread. I couldn’t go about my day normally and I was so relieved when they said they were done. Of course, before one of them left, he told me that the whole floor had asbestos beneath it and that if ever the tiles became cracked, exposure could be deadly. He also said that if they had to redo the flooring, I’d have to completely move out to avoid breathing the stuff in. That was a fun thing I panicked about for a few days, thinking that they would renovate this place soon or that I would just slowly get poisoned to death from my floor. Despite whichever happened though, the second hurdle was also defeated.

I moved on July fourth. I was still in need of doing a second trip back to my mum’s to gather the rest of my belongings, kitchen things, and the TV. She was moving at the end of August so this would be the last hoorah of getting rid of anything she didn’t want and bringing it to me. Thus, I was living without any tables, TV, couch, and extra kitchen stuff like pots and pans. We had picked up a blender, microwave, and toaster though so I was fine for the time being. I also found a small pot left behind deep in a cabinet. It was a good day though when I finally got the TV. A few more days were spent reorganizing and then I invited company over. Not having anything to sit on besides my bed which failed to morph into a futon for some reason, and a chair, hosting more people than just me was kind of a hassle. So we went on a hunt.

I can’t remember when the street couch was found. But it was wonderful. After an epic saga of getting it into the building, through the elevator, down the hall, and into my house, we had a place to sit. The couch really was a whole situation as we could only fit something thirty inches wide because nothing else would fit through my door frame. A couple weeks later my friends surprised me with a lovely,wooden coffee table, also from the side of the road. With these two key pieces of furniture inhabiting my living space, the house was complete. It went from a cold, white-cream colored square to a cozy, cabin inspired den. It was our new downtown hub and I was significantly more excited about living in my murder building. It felt so much more like a home and despite where it was, it was many steps up from my garage-man-cave.

I have moved some furniture around since and it’s much more open now. Honestly, it felt so refreshing to just move around a couch and coffee table to face a different direction. It was so simple yet made such an impact. As it stands a year later, it feels whole, comfortable, and somewhere I can be for a long time. This journey started off with many doubts, bumps, and frustrations, but it has come to a neat and satisfying conclusion. I am as happy as I can be here and wouldn’t trade it for anything but my future land and cabin, which is saying something.

#storytime #weeklyblog #writing #friday posts

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bestcoffeespan · 4 years ago

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HOW TO START a Web SPECIALTY Cafe SUCCESSFULLY

commerce sales are set to exceed $ 3.5 trillion by 2020, consistent with marketing research firm e marketer. And millennial, among whom consumption of “gourmet” coffee is up to 41% (National Coffee Association), are the foremost likely to shop for online.An online cxoffee shop can generate your expected income in 2021.

However, the amount of hurdles you've got to beat to launch your online cafe are often daunting. What e-commerce platform are going to be the simplest for you?

DO you recognize HOW YOU SHOULD CHARGE FOR SHIPPING IF ANYTHING?-ONLINE cafe

Whether you would like to urge your existing coffee business online or start a replacement brand, this text will walk you thru a number of the most steps you would like to require .

A PRE-LAUNCH CAMPAIGN-ONLINE cafe

No business can start without customers! And it helps them there from day one.

If you have already got a customer base future , you're way before the curve. However, you continue to got to convert those customers into internet buyers then use their support to extend your reach.

Send out a circular and blast it on social media to urge your followers’ interest – and to urge feedback on your concept. albeit you’re starting your business from scratch and you don’t have those critical customers, you ought to send that circular and social media posts to your family and friends.

LANDING PAGE

You will even have to stay interested people updated on your business plans. Use a landing page to start out an email collection campaign. These are simple one-page sites that specify who you're and what you offer.

When your launch page is up, you'll buy some advertising to send people to your website that generate income. cash in of this chance to also work on your brand: what do your potential customers respond positively to? Small cafe? Special toaster? Direct trade? determine everything now, before you jump in.

To Read Also : BEST COFFEE MAKER UNDER 100

ECOMMERCE PLATFORMS AND PAYMENT PROCESSORS

Before you'll launch your online store, you want to decide what technology to use to sell and receive payments online. There are many easy-to-use eCommerce platforms to settle on from, all with their own pros and cons, so make certain to try to to your research beforehand. they're Shopify, Big Commerce, and WooCommerce just a couple of of the large names.

Choosing a payment processor also can be difficult. because the number of consumers increases, the relatively small percentage that processors charge can become an outsized sum of cash . Major companies like Stripe and PayPal take a (small) fee plus a percentage of every purchase, while other processors may have a monthly payment option available. it's up to you to try to to the maths and choose which one are going to be best for your business – also as whether you would like to extend prices to hide this.

To Read Also : KEURIG COFFEE MACHINE

If you're starting a subscription business, your options also will be limited by the necessity to integrate recurring payments. it's important that you simply got to find a payment processor. And you've got to work with them to figure out the way to implement the system. Or – if that sounds too complicated for your team – accompany an all-in-one platform like Cratejoy, which can lookout of your store also as behind the scenes .

SHIPPING-ONLINE cafe

Don’t leave the shipping issue until the last minute: you would like to understand a sensible idea of what proportion it'll cost to ship your orders before you begin pricing your products.

Depending on what you're getting to sell, you'll consider free shipping. Ask yourself this: if your customers are beat your city already and may pay the precise price for his or her coffee during a store but without the shipping fee, why would they like to shop for it online?

Since shipping isn't free for you, however, going this route means you’ll need to work the value of it into the worth of your product.

You will likely want to figure through a shipping partner – and possibly a separate shipping program – for both domestic and international shipping. they're going to assist you print the shipping labels and postage for your purchase. For international shipping, they're going to also assist you select features like tracking and insurance, also as support on other international shipping obstacles.

What’s more, in some countries – including the us – they have a tendency to supply you better deals than the national mail or other large airlines. for instance , APC Postal Logistics ships via USPS, but offers a vastly reduced rate, also as custom delivery options.

MERCHANDISE PRICES

When selling online, there are costs that a physical and concrete store won't have. additionally to your payment processor, you'll even have to think about shipping, packaging, shipping labels, and anything that comes out with online orders. Do your research on what proportion you'll spend on advertising and execution before pricing your product.

However, if you're moving your store online, remember that you simply also are increasing your competition. regardless of what percentage coffee shops your city has, there are more online. this suggests that the worth of can become a race to rock bottom – but low prices and high costs aren't an honest combination.

You don’t want people to shop for your products due to price. Instead, you would like to spotlight other qualities of your company, which brings us to our next point: advertising.

ADVERTISING AND COMMUNICATION

What is special about your product? Is it the foremost delicious, most effective , or best for the environment? Or is it totally different?

MAKE sure you recognize what customers want and expect by gathering feedback and researching your competition. Then use this to make a message that you simply can get across clearly and consistently. this could shape your website, social media, mass emails, and the other communication with clients.

When starting out, various ad platforms like Google AdWords and YouTube will offer you credit for free of charge advertising as long as you spend alittle amount on them. this is often an excellent opportunity for you to undertake some ads without risk. And once you discover something that works, don’t stop! Run that very same campaign until its effectiveness diminishes, then come to make a replacement advertising campaign plan.

EMAIL MARKETING-ONLINE cafe

Emails still convince be very effective in informing customers of latest products, strengthening your brand, and opening lines of communication. Don’t neglect your list , it'll become a reliable source.

Some wish to sing praises to social media; Others say that it's not good at finding new clients. At the top of the day, it depends on your store, what you're selling, and the way much effort you're willing to place into it. But if you're getting to make social media a key a part of your communications, a couple of posts every week just wo n’t make an impression . you ought to post a minimum of once each day . Interact together with your potential customers whenever you'll and hear their comments.

CONCLUSION

Joining the hyper-competitive online space may be a great decision. it's a significant investment of some time and energy . But if you're ready to find clients that your message resonates with, you'll build a foundation which will stick with you. Understand your customers, keep your communications consistent, and make sound decisions about operations, technology, and pricing.

#SPECIALTY COFFEE SHOP

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