#which im catching myself doing and i hate! how do i stop!! how do i break these cycles now that im home!!

[lupismaris]

I'm coping with being back in the Chesapeake just fine thanks for asking pay no mind to the crockpot of stew bubbling on a 91 + humidity day while I nurse this fuckin heat/pollen induced migraine with even more water and weed

[triglycercule]

i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)

[aria0fgold]

Okay like, I think it'd be too long to put in the tags of the last post so I'm making my own post but ngl that method helped me A LOT. It helped me unlearn So Much stuff by having that first thought, interrogating it, and replacing it. Cuz way back, the thing I'd do is have the first thought, hate myself for it, never try to have it again which isn't helpful At All. And then I reached a point in my life where it was like, have the first thought, avoid it, which is just as worse.

And then last year, when I realized A Lot of stuff bout me, I had to work on unlearning so much during then and like okay, this is like treading the territory of "you gotta be unwell a lil bit to heal" typa thing, like imagining your favourite characters Right There. But mine is like, a lil to the left. Cuz when I realized all the stuff I gotta unlearn, there wasn't any character from a media that can count for that just yet (I got hyperfixated on Cain months after the realization but if I've known him earlier he would've ngl took on the patron saint role in my life of unlearning unhealthy stuff)

So what I did was... used an OC. It wasn't Alec and Ray surprisingly enough cuz in my head they have their own lives and it was a lil harder for me to put them in that role. And it just so happens I have One OC that is specifically made with an awareness that makes it seem like he's a self-insert but not really. It's Alerik. The designated creator of the universe that is practically aware of the truth behind that universe and his own existence so it was easier to pull him. And it worked.

Cuz whenever I do the have first thought, interrogate it, replace it thing, I can't get it right in a way that when I think of interrogating Myself, my brain's immediate reaction is always "hatred" so then when I got Alerik to do the interrogation, my brain couldn't react immediately cuz it isn't just Me, there's Alerik now and he's both me and not at the same time, he's a piece of me. That I love. So my brain couldn't react with "hatred" towards a character I made with love, it worked. I could interrogate myself, figure out "why" I reacted the way I did, "why" I had that first thought, and what I could do moving forward without hating myself or avoiding anything. And I love it. Cuz after a year of just that, slow and steady, I managed to unlearn most of the bad habits and get rid of the self-hate. I love myself now! And the world! And everything just seems so much beautiful this way.

[bffjohnny]

social isolation my worstie!!!

[pjackk]

Yep another miesrable "F my life" moment just hapened to me i basicaly walked 10 miles up the mountain to get to behind to the gas station to see my plug to buy me my with my favorite delta 8 pipe rocks and grab another 6er of tall boy steelies and i forgot i had my lit pre roll from brunch at the Country Grocerys buffet and i tripped on a congom on they away out and fell directly into a puddle of oil which normaly is fine when i fall and hurt myself ebcause nobody gives a fuck about me but the pants got stained wich is not unusual for me either but this time with motor guel or some shit but my pre roll was smoldering still and it set my ptants on fire so i dive in to the muddy ditch to put wet mut on my body to estinguish the fire and it and it shook the fuck up out of my steelos and the bursted all over me and it put out the fire but now i dont have any booze at all and my delta 7 "Fuck n chill" rocks burned tf up and i dont got nothgin left and my pants were all fucked up so i had to go home thru the woods wihtout them and it was so dark out and my peice of shit phone died even thouhg it was at 27% and i couldnt see shit and i was lost for along time so i decide to go to sleep in the woods to find my way back in day time + the animals sounds were high key scary as fuck so i cover myself in leafs and dirt and sticks and mud and other shit to hide from them and i woke up in the adfternoon still tired as fuck cuz i dont sleep good without some shit to put me asleep like my medicidne prescribed from Dr Maltlikker if U catch my drift lol or Dr thc Gummy lol if u get what im saying and these stupid little cunts with 22 rifles were plinking at me and tlaking about how they wanted to shoot my big ugly rusty head right in the head or to shoot a hole in my nippels so i got up and trioed to get them to stop i begged but htey just kept lauhging at me and shooting at me and it realy hurt my feelings so i pick one up and threw it into the sky then they all ran away screaming which is a classic "Dont fuck with honest joe,because he might try to hurt you or kill you if u piss him of moment" but the miracle of the story if that i went to walk 20 feet to findm y way out and i found my busted as shit old as fuck camry with a litle gas left ive been looking for it for a few days cuz i did a lil cruising when i was blackout and did lots of crazy shit i didnt remember at all but it was all on my story and 100 ppl were snaping and whatsapping me telling me to kill myself when i checked my huwawai thats how u know u had a crazy fcking night when u get that shit!!😂😂 but it had a litle gas left and it wasnt super busted so i was able do get back on I81 and soem stupid fcking crazy ass north carolina motha fuckas are driving insanly as fuck as usual and they keep almost hiting me while im just trying to read my fukcking phone to get rid of all these stupid messages and shit i still dont know how to use the app and its hard to type shit with my hands but eventualy i got back to my fuck buddys houe im crashing there even though he hates me now but i have nowehre left since ive been down on my luck and im realy not able to pay the bills no more with my online black jack/DarkRp trial moderator gigs and basicaly he owes me cuaz i got him 1 pack of menthols back when he was 19 and Sleepy Joe Brnadon banned them since "Freedom to do real shit" was aparently removed from the costitution when he was elected😂 but anywas now im sitting here bored as fuck with nothign at all do do cuz i got nothing to get fucked up wthi and i spent the rest of my meony on shit thats burned and blasted im realy worried i wont be able to sleep tongith since i cant get fucked up and thats when the demons starts to flow in my head i might do something realy bad to myself like pluck out my screws or some shit if u care abotu my which u probably dont my cashuapp is $pjack9 im desprate for another bottle to numb my p[ain away

Pic of my ride when i found it thankuly it still had gas😋

[cindyss]

• — MY SHORTS DONT HAVE LACES — •

PAIRING(S): theodore nott x fem. reader !!

WARNING(S): smut

SUMMARY: Hermoine is aware of y/n’s feelings toward theo, therefore when she gets the chance, hermoine makes it her job to get them close to eachother

A/N: i hope you enjoy this and check my most recent post with tom riddle please show it some support 😭🙏 (this is edited)

——————————————————

You and Hermione were in your shared dorm, getting ready together for the pool party thrown.

You put your matching black swimsuits on and put your hair up so that it doesnt get wet from the water.

“Hermoineeeee” you sigh. “Is- is uhh is, is theo gonna be there?” You ask hesitantly.

Hermoine had always been aware of your feelings toward theo and she made no effort to stop teasing you about it.

“Ugh, y/n, yes he is” she spoke as she rolled her eyes.

“Do i look good, should i tie my hair or keep it in a claw-clip like this? Omg idk what to do i feel so ugly. Should i change this swimsuit?” you complain

“Y/l/n, one more word i swear. You look gorgeous, ur perfect. How many times do i need to tell you that?” She said.

You jump into her arms before she could finish, “god hermoine i love you” you say.

“Yeah i know bla bla bla bla, now we have a party to get to and boys to impress” she winked before dragging you out of the room.

You get to the party and ur eyes immediately begin scanning the room, in search of theo. In no time you spot him, sat in the hot tub with cormac, harry, ron, ginny, and luna.

Hermoine notices your intentions and grabs your hand leading you to the hot tub, “hermoine, no, im not ready yet!!” you sigh.

“too bad” she says before jumping in the hot tub. “shoot, y/n, there’s no more place for you, but im sure theo would be more than pleasured to keep you on his lap” she giggled.

You and theo didn’t hate eachother, you weren’t friends either. However, there was always tension between the two of you, even Neville could catch it.

He patted on his lap, gesturing for you to come over “c’mere” he said. You drag ur feet in the water and adjust ur sitting on his lap.

Looks and smiles exchange between everyone in the tub and you begin to feel the tension form. Cormac, next to you, starts talking about his previous experience with the ladies and other stuff.

And while ur listening, trying to act interested in whatever he’s talking about, you feel something poke from under you.

You also feel theo’s hands wrap around ur waist from under water which makes you let out a loud gasp, loud enough for the people in the hot tub to hear at least.

Everyones heads turn around to you, “sorry guys, thought i saw a bug” you laugh it off and all ur friends go back to their conversations.

The poking from under you only got more annoying, so you turn ur head, “theo, the laces of ur swimsuit are poking me, can u do something about it?” You speak.

“Cara mia, my shorts don’t have laces” he whispers to you, you could feel his breath on ur ear. “Fuck theo” you say.

He looks at you and then says something again “i say we get out of here darling before i can’t control myself anymore”.

You immediately jump up, and theo follows you. “If you’ll excuse us, we have some business to manage” he jokes pointing at the both of you.

“Get out of here man” Ron laughs.

“God please no” this, from Luna.

“Off you go” hermoine says smiling.

Theo then grabs your hand, two towels, and starts leading you back to his dorm. On ur way there, he wraps one of the towels around you, making sure you’re not cold.

When you get there, the Slytherin boy wastes no time locking the door and smashing his lips onto yours, immediately also allowing his tongue to slip in.

The kiss was not sweet, it was slow yet passionate and hungry. The boy was practically eating your face off while he has you pinned on the wall.

In a sudden movement, theo slips his hands under your thighs and carries you up into his arms. He carries you to his bed, the kiss ongoing, and makes you lay there.

He wastes no time unclasping your bikini and sucking on your tits. Your fingers meet his hair and you start tugging at it as he sucks on your nipples.

He leaves kisses on your boobs and cups them while he moves back up to your lips, also removing your underwear. They meet again and this time the kiss is faster, deeper, and hungrier.

“I- i.. fuck” he says in between kisses.

“Mhm?” you wonder.

“My friend down there, fucking hell, he needs attention.” the boy explains.

You laugh and start working your way, trying to remove his shorts. He turns over making sure to provide you with enough space to take control.

You make your way down, leaving kisses down his ab lines. You slowly lower his shorts and begin trailing his v line with your fingers.

You then remove his shorts completely and for a second, you are taken back by his large size.

His wet, throbbing cock was now inches away from your face. You begin by licking his tip, slowly and carefully before taking him in all in one go.

To that, he gasps, his hands then move to your head guiding you, he grabs onto your hair and leads you.

He even makes you gag a few times when he hits your throat, which you pinch his thigh for that.

You speed up your movements as you wanted to be the one to make him cum first, and you wanted to be the one that makes it happen faster.

“Cara mia” he spoke. “Im gonna.. soon. Im gonna.. fuck”.

You mumble a quick mhm as you speed your movements.

“Fuck you’re so good at this”. he praised

You smiled to yourself before he finally came on your mouth, he squeezed your hair as he released.

You move back up to him and stick your tongue out to show him you swallowed it. You then start kissing him again, slipping your tongue inside, his hands wrapping around your waist.

“You know ur actually gorgeous, youre so perfect. A goddess i swear” he said as you were sat on his lap, staring deep into his eyes.

“Tell me something in italian” you ask.

“Hmm? Something like what ehh?” he smirks.

“Anything” you smile.

“Well.. ti scoperò finché non potrai più camminare.” he said in a whisper.

“And that means?” you wonder.

“I’ll fuck you till you cant walk” he spills.

“Oh is that so?” you giggle.

he nods and then you give him the look of affirmation before he slams into you, which makes you let out a gasp before adjusting yourself to his size.

You then start working ur hips in sync with his, riding him while his hands roam ur body, touching every bit of skin he could get his hands on.

“Fff.. fuckkk, you look too good like this” he praised. “dannatamente perfetto”. (fucking perfect)

you smile and in a sudden movement, he flips you over so hes in control, he starts speeding and you grab onto the sheets for dear life.

He leans in and kisses you, you moan into his mouth and his swollen tip hits your spot, the one that sends you to the moon and back.

“FUCKING HELL!!” you scream, “THEODORE IM GONNA CUM”. He speeds up his movements and guides you as you release.

“è stato fantastico, bellissimo” (that felt amazing, beautiful) he spoke slumping on the bed next to you.

“You really gotta start teaching me italian so i can understand what ur saying” you chuckle.

“Oh yeah? What if i dont want you to understand what im saying” he teased.

“Uhh oh, we might have a problem then” you both laugh as he hugs u tightly, kissing ur temple.

[delulucoree]

locked in (pt2)

***smut*** (fluff at the end)

———————————————————————

“shit y/n keep moving, just like that good girl mhm” stiles breathed out, your mind began to become foggy and before you knew it you were on your knees taking him all the way, your mouth bobbed up and down as he had a slight fist in your hair moving you the way he wanted as you had a hand at the base of him pumping what couldn’t fit “mmmhhhmmm” you moaned sending vibrations through him as he stuttered his hips deeper in your mouth which caused you to slightly gag around him “shit your doing so good for me baby, taking me so well” you knew he was close by the way he started twitching in you mouth as you pulled away with a wet *pop* sound

stiles immediately looked at you and groaned “what are you doing i was so close” he whined but all you can do was give him a glossy smile “i know but wouldn’t it be so much better to finish in me” you batted you eyelashes at him and all he can do was moan, you moved to straddle his waist as you carefully aligned his dick with your entrance “wait!” you looked up frustrated “what?” “condom, we need a condom” stiles started to whip his head around trying to see if he can see anywhere one might be “sti it’s okay i’m on birth control, plussss wouldn’t it be more fun to cum in me? fill me up to the brim” you said in a hushed voice “shit talk to me like that again and i’ll cum right here” you giggled at his response and sinked into him without another thought “ughhh fuckk omg you feel so good” you started to move your hips up and down feeling him hit your spot every time “mhm stiles fuck, if i knew you felt this good i would have fucked you a long time ago” “uh h-huh less talking more ri-riding” your legs started to burn but the pain felt so good and you knew that you and him were to close to stop now “mhm fuck good good girl keep riding me just like that uhh-gghh” your pace began to pick up and so did your breathing as the closer you got the louder the bed began to squeak “fuckkkkkkkk omg omg stiles mhm stilessss” “keep going baby no one told you to stop, ride it out im so close shit” you weren’t one to deny him right now so you did “uh-uh-uhhhh omg fuck, yess” stiles panted out as he came in you and threw is head back trying to catch his breath

you looked down to see the mess you guys made but you were to tired to even care, you laid on his chest unbothered that you and him were both covered in sweat, you layed there as he played with your hair just taking each other in

“why do you hate me?” stiles asked quietly after a while of laying in silence, you looked up at him and looked back down as you sighed “i don’t- i don’t know, i mean i don’t hate you i just- shit” you looked up at him and ran your fingers through his hair slightly before pulling away as you stared into his eyes “i guess i was just jealous” you embarrassingly admitted “jealous?! of me?…” “yeah of you” you said rolling your eyes “why?…” “i don’t-i don’t know, i mean ugh” you sighed and closed your eyes before looking at him

“i mean how can i not be? your smart, a-and funny, and can light up the darkest room with just your smile, I mean, I guess I was just jealous of the way you made being happy look so easy. And i know we’ve been through a lot and I mean a lot… but the way you can just laugh a-and still be the same goofy stiles everyone loves at the end of the day…made me upset that I couldn’t do the same, that I couldn’t be that same happy person that I used to be” you looked down playing with your fingers unsure of what else to say, but stiles grabs your hands in his giving them a reassuring kiss before speaking “i mean if it makes you feel any better…the reason im able to smile and be myself is because i know that ill see you the next day and have our annual bickering that i look forward to everyday because even though we would fight it still meant that i could see and talk to you” he gave you a warm smile and you gave him one back as you laid down slowly falling asleep in his embrace.

*BONUS*

scott: so how’d it go with y/n

stiles:uhhhh good, yeah good

scott: so nothing else happened in there?

stiles: nopee

scott: right cause those hickeys on your neck just happened to be there after you guys came out the room…

stiles: there was a really big mosquito in the room okay get off my back!!

~later~

y/n: hey scott!

scott: hey mosquitoe

y/n: what you call me?

scott: huh what nothing, nothing at all….

Thanks for reading, so sorry it took me so long to write (half of it deleted, so it took me a while to find it in myself to re-write it lol)

Let me know what else you guys would like to see, it be really great to get some fresh ideas!

[rafedaddy01]

Hate sex with like enemy Rafe and him saying “I’ll make it fit” 😩😩😩😩

“Look who it is!” My mother beams at my father as I snap my head in the direction she indicates.

Ugh. Him.

Rafe Cameron. Kook King. My sworn enemy. And also my childhood crush.

I roll my eyes as Rose and Ward walk up to greet my parents with Rafe hot on their trail.

Shit. He looks fine.

He’s wearing a black button up with the top button exposed. His shirt is tucked into his black dress pants and his hands hang in his pockets like he could care less about being here.

He probably does, he hated being seen in public with his family, im surprised he’s here.

“Y/n” he greets coldly as I stare at his outstretched hand.

I look him dead in the eyes before reaching out and shaking it.

“Sit down, sit down!” My mother says to rose.

“Oh no. We have reservations! Ward is meeting with some business partners to discuss Rafe taking over the business.”

So that’s why he’s here.

He stands silently still, his eyes raking down my body and up to my eyes where he smirks once he’s noticed he’s been caught.

“Who knew trolls could clean up so well” he laughs at his own pathetic comment.

“Funny.” I say bluntly as our parents continue small talk for a few minutes.

“Here I thought I caught your attention. With the way your eyes were roaming my body I’d say you want me Cameron” I say as I lean my elbows on the table, giving him a show of my cleavage which he gladly takes.

“Ha! Not a chance sweetheart. Not even if hell froze over” he leans closer before bopping my nose.

I scrunch it as I prop myself up and turn my head away, refusing to stare at his smug face.

“Well, that’s our cue” ward announces as some important looking men walk through the front entrance.

“We should catch up soon!” My mother shouts as they walk away, rose turns around to give a brief thumbs up.

We continue our family dinner and after a few moments I get tired of my parents flirting. “Excuse me, restroom” I mutter, which they barely hear, and head head towards the hallway where the bathrooms are.

As I round the corner I bump into a broad chest.

“Oh! Excu-“

“Watch-“

I look up and am met with beautiful blue eyes, the same eyes that I’m dreamed about since grade school. The same eyes that look at me with disgust when they realize who I am.

“Move out of the way Cameron” I gruff and I try to push past him.

“Bitch” he mumbles.

“What did you say?” I snap my head back so fast I think I get whip lash.

“I said your a bitch” he repeats, trying to hold back his smirk.

“You know..” I start, walking towards him and catch him off guard, he steps back and his back hits the ladies room door.

“I don’t get what your issue with me is! Ever since we were little you always have to pick on me. Why? Huh? Is it cause I’m smaller than you? Or is it cause your so jeal-“ I can’t even finish my sentence before I’m pulled into the bathroom.

“What the hell-“

My back is now against the door and Rafes face is inches away from mine.

“Do you ever shut up” his breath is hot and smells of whiskey and cigars, oddly comforting.

“What?” I ask.

“You never shut up, always yapping about something. Maybe I need to teach you how to be quiet”

I’m perplexed as my breath catches in my throat and I gulp, pushing my thighs together.

Rafe cocks an eyebrow at me and looks down, “you like that? The idea of me shutting you up?” He runs his nose down the column of my neck and I let out a shaky breath.

“I think you do” he whispers in my ear before nibbling my neck.

“Fuck, y/n” he groans in my ear and it’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard.

In this moment I don’t even care to remember how much I hate him.

“I’ve wanted to fuck you since you gave me attitude in gym class back in 9th grade” he confesses as he sucks a sweet spot on my neck.

I swallow hard and my eyes screw shut as my hands grasp the back of his neck, “take what you want” I whisper.

He stops and looks at me before reaching over and locking the door.

We lock eyes and Rafe smiles as he leans forward and captures my lips with his. I moan against them and he picks me up and leads me towards the sink.

He pulls away and turns me around so my ass rubs against his straining zipper.

He runs a hand down my back and I jerk up at his touch, “shit your fucking sexy” he whispers as his hands travels down and under my dress.

He locks his eyes with mine in the mirror and his hand meets the wet patch on my panties, which he quickly tugs down and spreads my legs open.

“Watch me fuck you” he says as he unzips his pants and they fall to the ground with his boxers.

My eyes widen in fear as I peer over my shoulders.

“Rafe! Will- will it fit?” I bite my lip anxiously as he grins and slaps my ass, causing me to yelp.

“I’ll make it fit” he shoots my a wink and sinks into my soaking heat.

My mouth shoots open as he slowly pulls out and pushes back in.

He picks up the pace and I can no longer hold my head up, it falls down and Rafes quick to grip my hair causing me to hiss as he pulls it back.

“I said watch”

I grip the counter as his thrusts pick up and he groans.

“Fucking perfect” he mutters “wanted this for so long baby” he hits a particular spot deep inside me and I squeeze his cock.

“Rafe!” His hand comes around and presses against my mouth.

“Shh. I’m teaching you to be quiet”

He stares at me through the mirror as his thrusts become relentless and my eyes roll to the back of my head.

I’m squeezing him so hard and he moans in my ear which sends me over the edge.

“Fuck fuck fuck” Rafe hisses out as he delivers a few sloppy thrusts and cums inside me.

He leans over my sweaty body and catches his breath before pulling out and getting himself together.

I turn around and he smiles at me.

He looks like he didn’t just fuck me into oblivion. Me on the other hand? I have red cheeks, messy hair, and hickies on my neck.

“I want you to walk back out there with my cum dripping down your thighs, let everyone see the marks left on your body and know that your taken”

He leans down and presses a soft kiss to my lips before smacking my ass.

“I hate you” I scowl. Which causes him to laugh.

“But your pussy doesn’t”

He winks and walks out of the bathroom, leaving me a heated mess as I try to find my underwear.

I give up and try to make myself look as presentable as possible and head back to our table.

My parents barely noticed I was gone.

When I sit down my phone dings. It’s a message from Rafe.

*see attachment

“Looking for these?”

It’s a picture of Rafe holding onto my panties and winking.

I blush as I shift uncomfortably and watch him stride out of the bathroom hallway before shooting me a wink.

Fuck me. What have I gotten myself into.

@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @eventualoptimism @drewstarkeysbae @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx @spencerreidsrealgf

[poppy-metal]

[ literally u dont have to write a single thought for this if u want i js want someone to match my freak BUT ]

stepdaddy art and dbf patrick trailing you to a club one night? its phase one in patrick teaching art his precious baby girl breaks a few rules - which art already knows, but he didn't realise exactly how until they follow you out. you, shining bright and brilliant amongst all your friends, radiant as the sun, alight with fire. its fire, too, like how patrick was, that sharp knack for commanding a room whenever you walk into it, demanding to be given what you want. but in a softer way than patrick did. sweeter, a more girlish light. the way art is: charming, bright, sunny. kind. you, in your little skirt - when a motorcycle blows by it flies up, and they catch a quick glimpse of the cutest little lacy panties - and your tight top, miles of legs and chest and skin. bare.

you, giggling and clearly tipsy, if not straight up drunk, flirting your way past the bouncer with your friends. they follow you in, slide the bouncer a few crisp twenties for his cooperation, and watch. watch you dancing, laughing, all hips and arms and shiny hair as you twirl with your friends, and fuck, its mildly reminiscent of another girl they liked a lifetime ago, watching another girl on the dance floor, waiting for the right moment to jump in and play for her number. hypnotic.

and they watch you. flirting your way into a round of shots for you and your friends. dancing right in the middle of the throng of people. arts pleased to see you turn down any guy that approaches you - "its girls night," you giggle - and patrick has to actually fight back a cheer when your heel stomps on a particularly pushy guy's foot. you're here to have fun, to dance. but you're drunk, and needy, and the guy you do end up making out with has patricks roguish grin and arts soft blond curls, but your hazy mind barely even registers this connection, and all patrick and art see is some douchebag with his hands on their girl. the executive decision is made not to interfere, if only because art knows you'd hate him for it. so they fume until you him away to go back to your friends, and they fume the whole ride home, and they fune when you text saying you're sleeping over with alyssa - who the fuck is alyssa?! - to study, and they fume until they fuck, arts face buried in your sugary-vanilla pillows, patrick wrapping a pair of your panties around arts dick, taking advantage of the fact that art cant really see, but he can hear, hears it when patrick asks him if it "feels good, huh? you want to cum all over her panties? yeah? go on, donaldson, you always were a perv, yeah, cum all over your baby girl's panties-" and art does, whining, sobbing, begging. they both pretend they're cumming in you, even though neither will admit it - art into your panties, patrick into arts ass.

you dont notice, when you return the next morning, that someone changed your sheets. you certainly don't notice the missing panties. art hates himself for it - vows it will never happen again. it will.

-kit (slowly going insane over this au)

I'm going to kill myself, truly im at my limit - @gamesetart

in my head - you and art dont know about eachother yet - its just kink talk, at the moment. he's not sure how either of you'd react - you're so possessive and needy of him. jealous so easily - and art. he's still pretty sure art will beat him bloody when he finds out patricks touched you at all - regardless of what he allows to be talked about in bed.

its just show art that you're grown up - to get art to stop seeing you as someone who needs protecting - look at her, art, she knows how to handle herself, she knows how to use her body and dance and work the men around her - she's not helpless and defenseless anymore.

art sees you differently after that night. he already had a hard time looking you in the eye after that night when he'd imagined you - he just realizes you' dont need him to shield you from anything. not anymore. and he..... doesn't like it. can hardly stomach it - who is he, if he can't be needed? its what hes revolved his life around - around you - around you needing him. you needed him when you were younger and your own mother didn't want you but he did and he was there for you and he took you in and you needed him growing up and you needed him for so many things you needed him to watch scary movies with you because they made you jump you needed him to tie your hair for you for school you needed him to buy you pads and tampons when you ran out you needed him to cook you food and be a safe place to come home to you needed him to teach you how to drive you needed him to pick you up from your friends house you needed him you needed him you needed him you needed him you needed him. you needed him.

and now you dont.

you're all grown up and you dont need him.

does he even know you anymore? will he get to know this new person you're becoming? does he want to not be needed by you?

no, he doesn't want that.

and its all he can think about on the drive home and later when patrick fucks him in your bed and he doesn't even fight it this time - just moans like a fucking whore when patrick wraps your panties around his cock and closes his eyes and thinks about you needing him. in a different way. in a new way.

you needed a dad for so long - you made him be that for you - he can be more - he can be anything - as long as you keep needing him - as long as you dont stop -

"god, dont stop -" its a plea - one patrick grants, wrapping the cotton more tightly around his cock, fitting his balls through the opening and rubbing the fabric into his shaft - fuck - "I'm gonna cum -"

"yeah -" patrick groans. he's fucking art so hard - like he's trying to punch art through your bed, the headboard is rattling against the wall, your stuffed animals falling from the bed. "fill her fuckin panties art - she's been so bad, huh? past her curfew and she's flauntin herself to older men - keeping her old man waiting up worryin' about her - while she's out being a slut - "

if it was any other situation art would knock his teeth out for talking about you that way. at the moment he can't, hes too amped up, hips bucking wildly, he reaches down to grip his own dick - shove it down so his head it rubbing into the patch of your panties where your cunt would rest - rubbing rubbing rubbing as his toes fucking curl in your sheets - "oh fuck -" he grunts, tenses -

when he cums - it shudders through his whole body. hole clenching, strangling patricks dick as his balls empty into your panties- stretching the fabric out lewdly around his cock -

"good boy - if she's gonna be a whore under your roof the least she can do is milk your cock - "

art whines. pulses out more cum weakly. thinks hes going to hell and that hes glad you'll never find out about this. you'll never know. you'll leave and you wont need him anymore and he just needs this to cope - that's all.

[adorethedistance]

I Don’t Just Like You - Trevor Zegras x Hughes!Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, tension/fighting, jealousy, Dixie lmao

Words: 2161

Summary: Tension builds with Trevor over his new partnership until the two of you confess your feelings.

A/n: Y'all I am so not doing well rn. I am processing a break up and questioning my social circle and im so lonely that I needed to write some angst to cope with it all. Hope yall like this one and maybe it'll get a smut part two depending on whether or not I can handle writing that rn lol. Enjoy!

Moose: call me ASAP

Me: sorry Luke. can’t rn

Moose: Awesome 😎

My hands quake with anxiety as I fiddle with the tarnished silver ring adorning my pointer finger. The moisture of my skin eases the movement of turning the ring around my finger. I hiss when the gemstone catches on the skin of my middle finger and immediately drop my hands. 

Currently, I’m staring down at the risky text I just sent Trevor. About an hour ago he had messaged me:

Trev: hey sorry can’t swing tn after all 

Trev: rain check?

My jaw tightens with contempt and I huff out a sigh as my bottom lip trembles. I feel pathetic for just how impacted I am by his every word. I angrily hit the digital keys of my phone’s keyboard as I type my reply.

Me: really? 

Me: again??

Trev: don’t be like that

I’m not the most confrontational person. On any given day some might say I’m the furthest thing from confrontational. To put it rather plainly, I just don’t like it. I hate the way I get anxiety butterflies in my stomach. I hate absorbing the emotions of the other person, especially when rejection is involved. I hate what projections I’m opening myself up to receiving from the other person. There are too many pitfalls and not enough landing pads. Which is why it’s so out of character for me to press him on this.

Me: like what Trev?

This is the third time in a row Trevor has cancelled plans on me. I don’t know if he’s aware of that. I don’t even know what he’s been up to lately. He’s refused to tell me what he’s been doing instead, which didn’t raise my suspicions by any means until mom sent me an article. She knows about how my crush on Trevor has had roots in our childhoods. 

Trev: you know what I’m talking about

After I stopped playing hockey with my brothers, I was still always around to notice Trevor’s presence in our home. When I moved to California for college, I wanted to chase my music dreams but I didn’t realize it would come at the expense of my support system. Being long distance with my family put me in a hard spot, but having a familiar face to rely on made the adjustment easier. As we spent more time together independent of my brothers, Trevor and I became close friends. The problem was my crush has been growing ever since we became friends, hence why mom sent me an article called, “Did Dixie D’Amelio admit to dating Trevor Zegras?”.

Me: at least say it with your chest

Sent. Delivered. I wait. Trevor’s response bubble appears for a second. It disappears, then reappears, then disappears again. I’m about ready to toss my phone across the room when his message delivers.

Trev: call me

I groan out in frustration and this time actually end up chucking my phone onto my bed. I run my hands through my hair, along the warm expanse of my scalp. A self-soothing gesture by all means. I pace to one side of my room before using the momentum of my steps to start back towards my phone. Just as I have it in my hand, Trevor’s contact picture covers the screen and illuminates in my grasp. I scoff out a sort of half groan and then answer.

“What, Trevor?”

“Hey, Y/n I’m great. Thanks for asking! How are you?” He responds sardonically to my cold greeting. I bite my tongue, torn between tearing into him and the stronger desire to laugh through my rage. He takes my exhale as a cue to continue. “What’s going on, Hughesy?”

In a single moment, my anger dissolves. The tenderness of that nickname, which was once reserved solely for my brothers, now belongs to me. In this moment, I find myself thinking about how grateful I am that Trevor was there for me as I transitioned into college. But the looming threat of a smile quickly vanishes as I remember how that care is nullified by Trevor’s abundantly active dating life.

“Y/nnnn?” Trevor hums into the phone.

“What?” I respond dryly.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is you cancelling on me for the third time in a row.”

“Is it really the third time in a row?” He asks under his breath, indicating he may not have intended to say it out loud at all. I roll my eyes, still actively fighting the urge to just lay into him.

“Yes, Trevor, it is!” I can practically hear him wince through the phone at the fact that I’m calling him Trevor instead of the default nickname permanently programmed into my phone. 

“Who’s that?” I hear softly over the phone. My heart flutters like a coal mine parakeet in a cage and I bite my lip, willing myself not to cry if it turns out Dixie is on the other side. Trevor whispers back,

“It’s Y/n.”

“Hey, Y/n!” Mason’s on the other end. 

“Not a good time,” Trevor tells him. Mason curses and then apologizes before retreating from Trevor’s general area. “Sorry, you were saying?” Trevor tells me at regular volume.

“You were cancelling on me again.”

“Oh. Right. I…” he switches the phone to the other ear, “I…don’t know what you want me to say.” Hello?! Could he be any more oblivious?!

“I want you to tell me what is going on!” I whine into the phone, “What is it you’re so busy with doing that you can’t see me for a week, huh? I get that you’re a professional athlete and you have a busy schedule. But I know your schedule and I know you still have a decent amount of free time. So what have you been doing?” Trevor breathes, in, then out and says,

“I’ve been seeing someone lately…” I feel my heart shatter into the tiniest fractals of what it once was and I cover my mouth to choke back the growing lump in my throat.

“I can’t do this right now,” I say with the utmost hurt lacing my voice, pulling the phone away from my ear to abruptly hang up on Trevor. I toss my phone on my bed once more, ignoring how the screen lights up with Trevor’s contact picture. It’s a new breed of psychological torture to sit here and ignore the calls, so I leave my phone in my bedroom as I go to splash cold water on my face. 

When I reenter my bedroom, I ignore the buzzing device to put on a comfortable pair of pajamas. He’s called once, twice, a fourth, and a fifth before finally giving up. Despite my phone being silent, I don’t trust it enough to take it with me and leave it to charge on my bed. I settle on the couch to open my new pint of Ben and Jerry’s, putting on my favorite show in the hopes of laughing through the pain. 

Somewhere between first and second episode, I had dozed off after returning the ice cream to the freezer. I’m not sure what it is about crying that knocks me on my ass like that, all I know is that it works. 

I’m abruptly pulled from my sleep when I hear the harsh banging on my front door. I jump up from the couch, the spike in adrenaline carrying me out of my sleepy haze. When I get to the front door, some of the tiredness catches up with me again and I groggily open the front door. Behind it stands Trevor, with sad puppy eyes and a sheepish expression. I can’t help the scowl that comes to rest on my face when I see him, but he doesn’t falter. Instead, he pushes past me to come into the apartment and sits on the couch expectantly. Since there’s no way to physically remove him from my space, I bargain, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, as far from Trevor as I can manage. He doesn’t let the cold gesture phase him, and scooches obliviously into the center of the couch.

“What’s going on Hughsey?” I scoff at the nickname and Trevor cringes in frustration. “What is this?”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Why are you icing me out all of a sudden?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask, spiteful, with malice. 

“Clearly not since I’m here spending time with you.”

“Was that so hard for you to do? I mean, with your busy schedule and all?”

“What are you-” Trevor pauses for a split second. “Wait, are you… jealous? Y/n?”

I want to protest. I want to scream and rant and bite back, how he could be so conceited to think I’d be jealous of a relationship that I previously thought was rumored? But I can’t. 

Because he’s right.

I bite my tongue. There’s nothing else I can do. Not unless I want to make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have.

“Oh my god, that’s totally it. You’re jealous.” Trevor says, complete with a laugh and a sigh. The shame of actually being jealous of a girl I’ve never met, the disappointment of finding out Trevor is dating someone, and the exhaustion from already having cried earlier comes collapsing down on me at once. Hot tears well on the lining of my lashes and I stare at the ground, afraid to draw attention to myself. Upon seeing me cry, Trevor’s smile immediately vanishes and he scoots closer once more.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay.” He envelops me in a hug that I’m too overwhelmed to reciprocate. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.” 

I merely shake my head, unaware of what I could even say in this moment.

“I was… I was just laughing ‘cause I should’ve known.”

“Should’ve known what?”

“That you’d be jealous.” I wriggle out of the hug and look at Trevor sincerely.

“How would you have known?”

“You know, for as long as I can remember, your brothers have talked about you having a crush on me.” I cower in humiliation, my face glowing hotter than the surface of the sun.

“I wish they wouldn’t have.”

“No?” Trevor asks, genuinely.

“It’s embarrassing,” I confess, fully recoiling from the physical contact he had initiated before. 

“It’s cute.” Trevor earnestly admits as he takes my hand in his. I scoff instinctively but don’t pull my hand away again.

“I don’t need your pity, Trev.” I say so softly he nearly misses the sentiment. Once he processes my worlds, I feel him physically relax next to me at the sound of his familiar nickname.

“Well, what do you need? I’m here now.”

“I honestly don’t know.” I finally dare to meet his eyes. He’s looking at me so sweetly, earnestly. As if I hadn’t just chewed him out two minutes earlier. Then, I look away before I can say what I’m about to say next. “I don’t just like you.” Trevor’s face lifts ever so slightly. The extent of which, one might miss had they not known him a lifetime the way I have.

 “You know… the only reason I started seeing her was to get over you.”

“What?” I ask, sharply whipping my head to stare at Trevor, as if awaiting the reveal that this was just some elaborate prank from the start.

“Yeah. I started dating Dixie because I thought dating someone different would distract me. You know, it’s not a good look to have a crush on your best friend’s little sister.”

My heartrate picks up with his confession. This feels too good to be true. As if real life is waiting for us right outside the front door. The real life that doesn’t see me and Trevor together ever in our lifetimes. Terrified of the change that would occur from letting him walk away, I reach up and hold his face in my hands, kissing him passionately. Trevor wraps his hand around my wrist and kisses me back with twice as much fervor. 

We break apart, out of breath and full of smiles. Trevor looks at me for guidance and we fizzle into a nervous laughter. I reach up and brush my thumb tenderly across his cheekbone. He grabs my hand and turns his head, placing a sweet kiss on my palm. I then reach up and break the moment by ruffling my hand through his hair to mess it up.

“Hey!” He yells, grabbing waist to dig his hands into my sides. I screech with laughter as I try to escape. Trevor eventually yields and slips his hands from my sides to interlace with one another and pull me closer. I scoot in to sit against him, sitting half on top of him as our breathing falls in sync.

“I don’t just like you, too, Hughesy.” I smile.

“...You should probably call Dixie.”

“Oh shit.”

***

A/N: not my best work but not my worst either!

[volturiprincess]

Rain

Demetri Volturi x human mate reader

Summary: Reader gets overwhelmed with stress and he's there to support her Warnings: mentions of an anxiety attack, but mostly fluff A/N: Omg someone stop me😁, another one-shot post?? I had to write this because as I was taking my breaks I would work on this, its not proofread but the idea of Demetri calling the reader Spanish nicknames is a must have but throw rainy weather into the topic and muah *chefs kiss*. Enjoy and there will be a second A/N in the end. A little translation for my non-Spanish speakers: Mi cariño: dear or darling Mi vida: My life Princessa: princess Mi amado hermoso: My beautiful lover

(I cant believe it took me a while to write a Demetri one-shot)

I burst through our shared room in a panic state and I saw my lovely mate on his special chair. Before I could even react he was already wrapping his arms around me and cuddling me into his chest. I felt the build up tears I was holding back cascade down my cheeks. Demetri was rubbing my back in comfort and I heard him mumble

“Mi cariño, let it all out, I know you need this”

I sure did need this, all of today I was working on a project for a class and I ended up deleting about half of it and couldn't recover it at all. I always threw my computer out the window but instead I stared at the blank page that was staring back at me with what I could assume was mockery. I did manage to remember a good amount of what I had done and it's back to how it is, but I spent a while in a state of shock and denial.

Suddenly I felt myself shaking physically, my heart increase in palpitation and worst of all I could feel my breath becoming shorter. Demetri picked up right away that I was dealing with an anxiety attack and he guided me toward the balcony to the fresh air and the light rain. 

“Mi vida, look its raining, you love the rain, hey look at how pretty it looks”

I turn my head to be able to face the scenery instead of his very well built chest to see how soft and calming it is currently. I told Demetri before that I love the rain, it's my personal safe haven other than his arms. I felt my trembling and shaking diminished slightly, my heart rate started to slow down to a more reasonable way but my breathing was still a problem.

I felt him tilt my head up so I was looking at him and my breath for a minute hitch, he looked breathtaking right now. There were small droplets of rain running down his face which caused his hair to stick to his forehead and his eyes were full of adoration. He looked beautiful at that moment, well he always looks beautiful, I heard him one time arguing with Felix and he ended the conversation with “Dont hate me because im beautiful”. 

I smiled at the memory and soon enough he had a look of curiosity with a matching smile

“What's got you smiling like that princessa?”

“I was just think about your statement to end an argument with Felix, the don't hate because i'm beautiful”

His laughter filled the gloomy atmosphere that the rain created, his laugh sounding like music to my ears. One of his hands started to caress my cheek gently, his coldness immediately sending a small shiver down my spine but also somehow started to steady my breathing.

“Look at you princessa, your doing so good in breathing, such a good girl”

I blush at the praise which he never fails to miss, he knows what praises from him does to me, many thoughts come to mind but I push them away for now since I am still recovering from the earlier events.

“Do you want to talk about it/”

“My computer decided to throw me a whole 360 today”

“A whole 360? Im sorry cariño, but you need to explain that to me”

I giggled at his dumbfounded look, it's always fun to be able to still catch a vampire as old as him off guard with my modern language “Right forgot your like a million years old, I was working on a project today for one of my classes on my computer and I accidentally deleted like half of it but like I barely started it so it was no big deal because I remember what I had so far but it was just so frustrating you know”

He continued to caress my cheek as he nods along to my explanation 

“And it just so stressful in thinking I have so much to do still before this week ends and I feel like I have done what I needed to do but its not enough still and and—”

He placed his finger on my lips to silence me and I tiled my head to the side from curiosity, this is new. His signature smirk spread onto his face at my reaction

“Sorry love, but you started to spiral into chaos and as much as adore to hear you ramble, I started to feel stress myself from your stress”

I looked down in embarrassment but he tilted my head up once again 

“Hey don't be embarrassed cara, it's good for you to talk about what stresses you out, better out and in you know?”

“Your right metri”

“Now care to have a dance with me in the rain then?”

Whining at his request, even if that has secretly been a dream of mine to do “Demi you know i'm not even a good dancer, heck I don't even know how to”

“But that's the fun part princessa, I can teach you and we will be dancing in your favorite type of weather”

“Fair point”

As the rain intensified slightly, he guided my moves with such elegance that I almost felt like I myself am an expert to begin with. The rain at that moment was not a bother, my main focus was my casanova of a vampire that I call mi amado hermoso.

A/N: You know I don't know why I haven't added any Spanish nicknames to my writings, but I will in future (I feel like Demetri would just know all of the most romantic languages). I know I mentioned this in my Alec one-shot but I am working on a Caius one, its a work in progress indeed maybe in the end of this week I might have part one done, who knows?

[ryuichirou]

So i'm reading your yandere/hypnosis post and i get to Vil being utterly jealous enough to try on Rook; and it makes me think about his drive and the second place club lol (Leona, Jamil and Vil) like D: poor them they're always outranked by that ooonnee person! Can our boys catch a break? whether that person knows or not I always tend to feel bad--especially for Vil since i remember his inner speech in book 5 and the fact that his most trusted person ended up being such a big fan of the person who makes him feel like second best. wait i love rookvil i think i made myself sad LOL NOoo--aahh I rambled im sorry, i guess the main question i wanna ask is what do you think about those particular three always having to come second to their respective counterparts? I think your opinions and insight is so interesting that i'd like to know your thoughts on this! and you don't have to answer for all three characters if you dont wanna I was just curious on your thoughts! Anyways, have a good day and stay hydrated! it's hot this summer oof

Anon! Took some time to get back to you as well, sorry for the late reply. Summer is already over, but it’s still SO HOT…

Without diving into just how much I love the ending of book5 and the whole Rook-Vil-Neige thing (I feel like I talk about it all the time LOL)… It is interesting how these Vil, Jamil and Leona always get to be second best, isn’t it? But ironically, I don’t think I ever grouped them in my head based on this. Maybe it’s because of how different their situations are? But also now that I think about it…

Vil isn’t better than Neige, and he tries to be better by working hard.

Jamil is better than Kalim, but he can’t be better because of his status.

Leona may or may not be better than Falena in some ways, but he doesn’t even bother.

Ignoring the fact that this “better” is always subjective and in actuality things are more complex than that… and also trying not to sound like an armchair therapist that’s just telling anime boys “you should have done this you idiot”, but.

Jamil got the most development in that sense because this internal conflict is very straightforward, in fact, he was the easiest one to describe with these little sentences I just wrote. Jamil wants to stop pretending to be worse than he is, he wants to work hard and to show how great he is without being forced to get worse results than Kalim. He is only the second best because he consciously allows Kalim to be the best whenever he is given this choice. And he isn’t always given a choice: a lot of times the system decides for him, just like when Crowley chose Kalim to be the housewarden. Still, even in that situation, Jamil knows for a fact the shape, the density and the nature of this ceiling he can’t break, he’s been aware of it for his entire life. This is why it’s easy to pinpoint moments of Jamil’s growth: when he expresses how much he hates pretending to be worse than Kalim, when he says that he won’t hold back anymore, when he gets to dance and rap at VDC as a lead-vocalist and, ironically, when he gets scolded by Leona in ch6 (I have some issues with their sub-story, but still).

With Vil, the difficult part is to understand what exactly he understands as “beauty”: I mentioned it in a bunch of Vil-centric posts, but we’ve seen how in-canon he was described as too beautiful, therefore not as relatable as Neige. So this isn’t about beauty, and in a way I think this isn’t about Neige either. This is about Vil’s own feeling of self-worth and self-expression, and how people perceive him; Neige is just a very good point of reference, a good metric, especially considering that they always end up being compared to each other and that comparing numbers of followers is easy and seemingly objective (which is a cruel trap a lot of people fall for).

What I’m trying to say is that Vil isn’t fully and constantly aware of “the shape of this ceiling”, or rather why he can’t reach Neige; this is why we had that ending to his book. This isn’t solely about skill or quality, but those are the main things Vil focuses on.

And Leona… I am not sure about him, to be honest, because it boils down to one problem that I have with him: I am not sure what he wants.

It’s easy to compare him to Jamil because it seems like his issue lies in being frustrated with the system: he will never be the first because Falena is literally the first born son. But I don’t think it’s fair to compare a prince with a servant like that, because even though Leona wouldn’t be the king, he still has a lot of power and opportunities, and we’ve seen Falena valuing his strong points and expressing that he wants Leona to help him. One might even say that he invited Leona to be by his side, as a brother and an equal. But this isn’t what Leona wants in actuality, is it?

His “ceiling” seems to be obvious, but I guess his actual frustrations lie elsewhere, and those are kind of difficult to see because of how inconsistent he is. But maybe it’s just me being frustrated with his character again lol

I am replying so late because I really thought I would have some kind of conclusion about this whole thing, but it seems like I don’t lol Still, it was an interesting topic to think about.

Thank you for your ask! <3

[reorientation]

zyn anon. sorry to spam your dms, i just have some updates i can't really share elsewhere lmao. only one of my irls know im fucking this boy but she doesn't know it was for nicotine pouches lmao

im not even "exchanging" my "services" for zyns anymore. i didn't like them at all, but id still occasionally ask for a tin or two here and there. to not let it get to his head ☺️. a month and a half later im just doing it for free 😒 he makes jokes now that im not even fucking him for product. and jokes that he got me addicted to him instead. so you were right about me becoming a budding addict for a straight mans cock.

we never had a convo about us being official, but he made it clear early on that he wants to be the only guy fucking me rn. i asked if he sleeps around with other girls, and he said he doesnt need to when im so eager for him. :/. he calls me his girlfriend in front of his roommate and gamer friends, too. but not to people we know mutually.

he's also a lot more affectionate now. we've been on an actual date, it was surprisingly romantic and really sweet, and not just me blowing him in his car. though I did after but that's not the point.

i pretty much dress exclusively femininely outside of our programs unisex uniform, i used run errands in boymode but im not even doing that anymore. i have a chosen name that can be shortened into something kinda feminine sounding so he just calls me that. even in front of classmates who dont know i have a pussy, and one that hes been inside of. and the "nickname" is catching on with our classmates too lol.

z anon. forgot to include the update. sorry, i ramble a lot.

i skipped my last two T shots ☺️ im still waiting on my iud appointment in a few weeks. unfortunately this also means i havent really been letting him inside me as often, since im still really scared of pregnancy especially this early on in this weird situation. i am blowing him a lot though lol. it's a win win for me since being on my knees for him with his cock down my throat is so damn hot, especially when he's kinda fucking my face and pulls my hair during it. but fuck its probably been at least a week since his cocks been in me and i miss it. a lot lol. hes so manly and strong, i miss how feminine i feel when im under him. his body would just inadvertently pin me in place, im painfully aware of how small and feminine i am in comparison to him. how truly heterosexual it all is.

but i cannot trust myself bro like i know even if i insist on him using a condom ill end up asking for him to take it off. if he doesnt outright refuse. and like it's so difficult because that turns me on more. i know ill end up having his dick in me sometime before I get my iud, i just gotta be responsible and power through the demons.

im still dysphoric through this situation, especially since stopping T and the fear of like. the few times hes cum in me before havimg a little more serious consequences. despite taking plan b after each time. but the horny part of my brain has never been happier. whenever i feel like backing out, i send him nudes or text him smth risky just for extra self encouragement. but he's on a camping vacation thing rn with his family, and the service is shit and i miss him 🥺 even outside of sex.

like I want to become his girlfriend, truly. and that would have me become a girl for him. which basically means becoming a girl fulltime. i guess that would actually just be going back to being a girl. all for a straight boy 🤦🏻

its hugely dysphoric but kinda nice, like a part of me hates how he's so much bigger and way more masculine than me without any effort, even outside of us having heterosexual sex. i get so dysphoric that he's taller, bigger, way stronger and just so clearly male. but apparently, i enjoy being a girl for him more than i hate it.

(Previously)

You know, Anon, this is awfully romantic.

I mean, listen to yourself. You got into this as a whore, offering to suck his dick for discounted nicotine pouches, but now you're pining over him, and wanting to be a proper girl so that you can be his girlfriend. You're definitely still a whore, but you're a whore with a heart of gold.

Not a smart whore, though. So scared of pregnancy, but you stopped your T before getting on real birth control, knowing that you can't stop yourself from begging for his bare cock. You're so desperate to be a good girl for him that you're consciously ramping up the risk of having his baby, just so that you can return to full femininity a little sooner.

You know, I got this anon after your last ask:

They're not quite right, in that this first update doesn't include a pregnancy announcement. But it's been a bit since you sent me this, and reading what you sent me, it's not hard to imagine you having already gotten started on the path to being a cute little baby mama to your straight boyfriend.

But even if you haven't... You're never going to be able to forget what this was like, will you? Losing your virginity to a straight man, and so easily losing your identity with it. Being pinned down by him with your legs spread and his bare cock in your pussy. The simple force of a man on top of you, and how simple it was to slip back into womanhood and welcome him in.

[amugoffandoms]

Ahahaha i am making you talk about how the voting will affect kazui and yuno~~~

🔫😄

omg there's a gun im being threatened to talk about this oh no it's definitely not like I was planning on doing this anyway because I'm UNWELL ABOUT THEM AT 1 AM

ANYWAYS DRUMROLL FOLKS WATCHING IN THE AUDIENCE, IT'S TIME FOR MUG'S 1 AM MILGRAM THOUGHTS!!!

How Voting Will Affect the Liars

Similarities

From the get-go, we already know they're pretty similar. They have references to a cat in their t2 MVs (A flash of a cat silhouette in Tear Drop and Cat. [And also the Dove eating])

We also have Yuno confirming this in her interrogation questions.

Which prisoner is the most like you? Kazui is the only option.

The two of them are also related to theater.

Yuno mentions in one of her interrogation questions that she's a part of a theater club and half takes place at a theater.

Observant Pair

Yuno is able to point out lies while having a conversation. (See her catching Kazui lying about his type and Mikoto's smiling.) She's also pretty observant with all the relationships with the prisoners (Haruka & Muu, Shidou & Amane).

I'd say Kazui is also observant. I recall a timeline conversation he had with Fuuta about attacking a guard. He mentioned that the guard could have a gun or other weapons, which is why you would have to be careful when making decisions.

Now, here's where I get a little more assumptions and stuff and less concrete similarities, but I'm doing it because I love these characters a lot so it's okay!

They both have bad self-esteem/ issues.

Yuno's aren't especially prevalent in any of her voice dramas/songs, but just note that I'd feel like being told you're some little girl when you want to be thought as of yourself would be seriously bad for your mental health.

And, also, looking at current timeline conversations, she's been asking a lot if it was worth it to be born which haha girl you need therapy.

She does mention she wouldn't mind living her life over again, which sure, doesn't sound indicative of any problems, but considering how terrible it is to be dealing with people almost dying everyday and hearing people pretend you are lesser than who you are, pretending you are some little girl, I'd say it's pretty sound reasoning for some issues.

Kazui had a little, uh, how to call it, breakdown-ish over him lying his entire life.

E: In short – between love and hate, [I would say] I hate you. Remember that. K: … I get that. E: Huh? K: I despise myself for lying, too. Being a liar, you see – it’s painful. E: Heh. Then just– K: So I’ve tried to change! I’ve tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others! E: … K: I’ve confided in others. I’ve tried to be myself! I’ve tried to just be the way I was born! E: …Hey, Kazui– K: It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…! E: Kazui… K: I can’t live unless I lie. That’s how I was born… I’m pathetic, aren’t I?

[Source]

You can also take a look at a single interrogation question and see how terrible he's doing.

Do you like yourself? I can't really say I do.

So, wowee they seriously need some therapy (sorry I'm trying to be lighthearted I'm still think about kazui's votes BAHAHSHDH also these two being my favorite characters of milgram is not a good sign for myself)

They would rather they never committed the murder.

If you could turn back time, would you commit the same murder once again? I'd make sure that I won't have to commit it. That's it.

Do you regret your "murder"? I do regret it. I should have kept lying.

(Voice Drama)

K: It’s not my lies that killed her. She’s dead because I stopped lying to her! If I had just kept lying- She wouldn’t have died…!

Love and Like

Now, this one is sort of hard to determine on Kazui's side, but they do seem to make some sort of clear distinction between love and Like.

Difference between like and love? Isn't liking a state, and loving a feeling?

Cat MV

Maybe, perhaps… or… could it come true… like It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that? . . .

Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?

Kazui mentions true love (so, let's say romantic in this sense!) and I'll use liked-liked as just crushing.

Kazui says he lied (to protect his wife) because of true love. He mentions he likes someone because he was wondering about it.

Now, Kazui as a liar is pretty obvious. He mentions he's a liar, continue lying until you find the king of the masquerade, and shown as a magician (known for tricking and lying). He basically says he's lied for others.

Lying

(please enjoy silly minigram)

Yuno has lied as well. Not in MILGRAM, of course. She has no reason to lie. I'd say moreso on the side of her work. She's lied to her clients about who she is because she wanted to satisfy her client. She dresses up (hey, is this a half reference why is there changing costumes in this /j) for each of her clients and lies to them just to satisfy them for the money.

Someone mentioned in a post I reblogged a while back that they both lied to satisfy others and that's what they did.

This same post was when I begin to realize how Kazui's voting will severely affect Yuno.

Voting

So, this is the part of the post you've all be waiting for.

The Voting.

Now, luckily for Yuno, she's innocent! Haha, woo!!

We'll talk more about that later.

Kazui's voting is interesting to say the least! (Please don't look at my last posts to see how crazy I went please vote him innocent anyways)

To me, Kazui's vote feels like would you forgive a liar who has come clean, who has begun to show their true self to you?

Kazui is beginning to reveal himself to us, to show the person underneath the lies, the costumes, and the masquerade masks.

He's trying to be honest again! For the first time since his wife's death, he's trying to show the truth and let Es reveal him for who he is: a liar, a liar who is trying to be their true self.

Now, let's reflect on Yuno for a moment.

Let's recall one of the main objections to Yuno's voting last round. She didn't like being voted innocent because of how much they tried to justify her actions and act like she's such a poor, innocent girl who only did it because she's never felt love. She couldn't believe she was voted innocent because of that! Because of lies she had made up for her clients. (Shove that, in Kazui's words lol)

She wants Es to judge not because she's pitiful but because they believe it is a correct judgment to decide. To use logic instead of half-baked opinions on herself.

She wants Es to see her true self, someone who isn't pitiful, someone who did it because she wanted to.

See the line of connection?

They both want Es to see them for who they are, not for their lies.

Now, reflecting on the current voting, let's look at Yuno.

Even after her telling us/Es not to pity her, apparently some people still acted like she was an innocent girl. And even then, we all sort of chalked her up as abortion girlboss (GUYS please she's so much more than that head in hands places hand on wall) AND, hey, I'm not saying I'm immune to this, my reaction to her was pretty much the same. I'd vote her innocent no matter the reason (I love her character or that her murder is forgivable to me, even with the pregnancy entrapment theory)

But, she's more than that. She's more than a single action she's done.

But, somehow we missed that while we voted and made our decision.

We decided she was just a single action she's done made from her lies. She was trying to make sure we'd see her as herself, not a single thing we did.

And we didn't! We voted her innocent because she's a pitiable girl who has done nothing wrong.

So, wowed, strike one for us, Failure to Vote for One's True Self.

We voted for a single part about her and disregarded everything else because it was easy.

We didn't let her show us for who she is.

Now, Kazui time!

I've already mentioned previously that Kazui wants to show his true self to us, so I won't regurgitate stuff you already know.

Now, I feel like it's sort of clear that people don't care too much about that. More on the fact that he could have stopped at any time. (He wanted to tell the truth on his terms. Divorce is also a pretty bad look on you in Japan so I've heard.) He wanted to protect his wife, okay, cool cool.

He still wants Es to reveal his true self. (And, judging from the guilty verdicts, I don't think that'll work, that'll just make them worse in the long run.)

Also, quick tangent: This sounds familiar. Why does this voting seem like we've done this before as if we wanted to reveal their true self as if we wanted to show them their sins.. anywho

And, by giving Kazui a guilty verdict, we're only further proving that we don't give a damn about wanting to know about his true self, only that he lied to his wife, disregarding any of his own feelings related to the matter. We don't care about him wanting to be hinest.

We're proving we don't care about his true self, only his actions.

So, now it's strike two! Failure to Allow Someone to their True Self.

So, yeah, isn't that fun? We failed to vote for someone's true self and failed to let them even be that.

So, why do I think Kazui's voting will affect Yuno?

Well, they're pretty similar, we know that.

They both are liars who have lied to satisfy others in a sense.

Kazui's voting is to see if we can allow someone to be their true self and be honest about themselves. He was beginning to do that when he took off his ring.

Kazui getting voted guilty means that we don't really care about their true self and their feelings, only their actions matter. None of their circumstances matter. (Hey, reduction of punishment by extenuating circumstances? What in the world, how did you get in here I thought that was only a Yuno thing)

Yuno is trying to show that she wants to be seen as her true self and we're forcing this man to continue lying.

So, guess what? Yuno probably won't show her true self if we're failing to even let someone be honest and vote based on their true self.

Yuno wants to be seen for who she is. And, it seems like we have an odd aversion to that.

So, Yuno will never find the warmth that will allow her to be true, to be herself. Hey, maybe she could die trying to be herself, who knows?

All we know is that we're deciding if someone's true self is worth seeing.

Judging by the current votes and what our judgments are based upon, Yuno will never be able to be herself. We have decided that it's not worth seeing anyway.

[roe-and-memory]

UHMMM in your guy's pinned it says your ok with asks sooooooo

You guys should totally hand over all of your Lightning headcanons :3

HIHIHI IM SO SORRY ITS BEEN LIKE 4 DAYS

hi this is roe quick interruption

thats all ty

ok so…. a magician cannot reveal all of their secrets so ive picked a Select amount of our favourites because obviously we need some surprises,…. its still a LOT though so dont worry i wouldnt dare cut you cheap on our headcanons

if you guys want us to make a separate post on a specific one going into detail of the Lore behind it or just like, more detail in general, dont be afraid to comment and your wish is my command

HERE WE GO!!!

- “HE IS A DUMBASS AND I HATE HATE HIM” (roes words, affectionate)

- he is a liar, sometimes good sometimes bad (only when he wants to) and doc sees through All of it

- he has a walkman he’s had since he was little, he broke the headphones once and mack bought him new ones

- we’ve mentioned it before but he has vision light sensitivity issues

look at him. he cant see SHIT

- he grew up in henderson, nevada, every time a race came to vegas he walked FOUR HOURS to see it from outside the track (he lived an hour and a half from some of the only family that would ever love him in radiator springs EL OH EL!)

- hes a natural redhead but harv thought having him bleach his hair blonde would get him more attention so he did it because harv knows best! sally made him stop when he tried to do it after his roots took over and she was like erm no ! thats destroying your hair and ur curls. and him, not knowing much about his hair was like yeah sure ok

- he has Freckles. So Many. sally tells him he has stars and constellations on his cheeks and hes just giggling and kicking his feet

- also mentioned before he has a lanyard with keys and keychains on it that he carries everywhere hanging out of his pocket

- he has. Horribly. vivid nightmares. so he doesnt sleep much and when he does its always restless

- being a racecar driver he has MASTERED the ability to climb out of windows. he uses this ability to not only cause doc grief (he sleeps across the hall and hears everything), but also to sneak out in the middle of the night when hes restless and prance around in the field like a deer to make himself so sickeningly exhausted he passes out as soon as he lays down

- lightning and sally dance sometimes at the wheel well, neither of them are too good and he wants to practice for her - doc catches him in the living room poorly dancing to rascal flatts and doesnt let him live it down the entire rest of the day

- lightning runs away when hes 15, after walking 4 hours to vegas for a piston cup race he wanted to watch and then deciding he never wanted to go home — there was nothing there for him anyways. he had everything from home he wanted, which included his walkman and thats basically it

- (adding onto above) mack found him at a truck stop somewhere on an interstate asking for either money or a ride somewhere, and as an older brother of 5 little sisters who are his worlds, he saw him and immediately thought . if that was one of my siblings i would never forgive myself. and boom he has a new little brother and boom lightning has an older brother

- he knows how to operate a transport truck courtesy of mack

- he loves stickers, he always has, his walkman and an assortment of his other things are decorated in stickers

- lightning didnt have any friends in his rookie year, so when he has mater, doc, sally, cal, and bobby, he makes little random collages out of magazines and newspapers to keep them as memories

- he loves country music and HATES taylor swift (bobbys fault, bobby is a swiftie)

- doc has sunglasses that lightning finds in his garage, BURIED in a box, they have “hudson” engraved into the arm and he immediately takes them for himself because sometimes its Too sunny (doc when its sunny, he’s out enjoying a beer on the porch and his annoying boyfail son comes outside and stands expectantly awaiting his sunglasses in which he forks over hesitantly)

- crocs or converse there is no in between

- autism.

- he pulls on the threads of his clothing when hes excited or nervous

- talks with his hands, very expressive and he also kicks the ground sometimes for no reason

- he was never taught how to ride a bike. doc is slowly writing down a list of reasons he can KILL 👹 lightnings parents for being HORRIBLE ‼️‼️‼️

THATS ALL FOR NOW…. with time you will learn more but I HOPE YOU LIKE THESE ONES!!!

[hiemaldesirae]

Swap AU:

Charlie and Vaggie both know That Vox is there on Lucifer's behalf, but once they see Vox freak out because of Alastor's Shadow (Alastor took over the Shadow and was gently petting Vox's rabbit ears (just how sleepy Vox likes it), before he spoke through the radio to Vox, saying I love you.) Causing the overlord to have a panic attack and blow the power in half of pride. So Vaggie actually gets pretty overprotective of Vox, seeing Alastor as Vox's Adam.

This panic attack is also what allows Husker and Vox to setup their contracted souls and they start building outside of the hotel. Little restaurants, and a gambling joint (where the biggest prize is TVs you don't have to rent, which Charlie thinks is pretty awesome. Not even Nobles have their own TVs, so this will definitely bring in the spotlight for the hotel!) One of the surviving contracted souls of Vox's is a goetia, who can go to earth, and Vox uses them have the hotel offer earthly goods.

At the overlord meeting...since the remaining Vees are contracted Overlords, they aren't invited. Only Alastor and Rosie can come for the Entertainment District and Cannibal town. Vox is on a high dose of (I think it's Xanax they give you for this? I know it's what they gave me to take during my flights because of the anxiety for flying so I'm guessing it may be the same idk) meds so he can get through the meeting unfortunately, Husker can only sit on one of his sides....Who takes the other seat beside Vox? Why Alastor of course.

Who catches Vox's hand with his own under the table, giving it a squeeze and rubbing his thumb over Vox's pulse point in his wrist while Carmilla talks.

While Husk brings up the Angel's head, and points out it could be the cause of the second extermination coming up, Vox is beginning to slowly freak out. He's glad when Carmilla and Zestial say the meeting is over, and he stands up about to jerk his hand away--when Alastor kisses it, murmuring "I'm sorry, my beloved. I'll see you soon." And Husk hisses, grabbing Vox and they hurry back to the hotel.

Vox leaves the lights on in his room that night, but it doesn't stop Alastor from visiting, and covering his precious picture box up with the softest blanket he can conjure....and he also spots the large Cyan scar on Vox's chest, and tears fill the deer demons eyes--he hadn't ment too, he thinks claws digging into his palms. Never you Vox....it'll never happen again. Once I have your soul under my hand no one will hurt you again...myself included. You'll be safe right beside me, where you belong.

oh my GOD vaggie and vox friendship theyre so precious to me <3 wait okay so does al like. send his shadow to the hotel since they cant really get rid of it anyway and they dont know yet that al can posess his shadow ? or what is really going on here im a little lost sorry. the image of al taking the opportunity to stay close to vox when hes in his most vulnerable state just kinda scratches something in my brain though... hes SUCHHH a freak about it all get a JOB stay away from him

OH !!! thats so cool. wait so before that did they just like. have nothing at all lmfao?? cause vox was hiding away or something? cause i dont know if i can image the hotel looking like the shabby rundown mess it was in the show considering the Gambling and Media overlords are here to help run it lmfao. also a GOETIA? my god,, by jove how did that happen

oh this is. oh thats so.... URhrgdhjkfd... the fact that alastors idea of love and posession is so warped that he can only think of owning voxs soula s a means to keep him safe... and he regrets it all so much but its not something that he can ever properly express because he knows vox wouldnt listen and would just try to run away again... im gonna be SICK nonny dont do this to me. i hate ithere

AND YOU DIDNT ANSWER MY QUESTION LAST TIME ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THEY GET A HAPPY ENDING !!!!!! :sob: im so scared nonny i really am what are you doing with them....