#which ig makes sense bc i was sad when i wrote it

[smallvolcanos]

is this real? are you here with me?

[tojikai]

I just finished the “home” series, i just found your account yesterday yet all that’s left for me to read is “permanent mark”🙃

Like the “fix you” series, i ended up with alot of questions which is weird because i don’t have any for sundered but then again, im more of a toji girl

Questions:

- why did toji cheat?

- What happened in their marriage for it to get like that?

- did he ever truly fall out of love?

- do you have any plans for another story series?

- what would’ve happened if she hadn’t died?

- would’ve he regretted it or come back to her eventually?

- did he think of her daily after her death?

- how was he feeling after her death, years after?

- why did he put his mistress over his wife?

- Does he love his mistress more

- what’s up with the whole thing he did/him putting her over his wife

- what was his thought process when it first happened and after it kept happening

- ik he said he didn’t love hana but why would he cheat and basically put her over his wife if he didn’t?!?!

- i read 3 out of 4 stories so far and it seems like there a pattern of dudes putting someone they think they love yet don’t over someone they do or love more, is there any reason’s for it

Just me rambling about the story and your other stories:

I know he did but i hope toji suffers so so so much more until his last breath! (He did but I hope it felt like it was infinite for him😌) also Fuck hana! Wtf😭😭 if only toji didn’t fuck up bro its so sad, im hating yet understanding him?? If that makes sense, actually no not understanding but sympathetic towards him in the first ending ig but still fuck toji!!! I felt bad for him and then the next life chapter??? With his thoughts wtf and putting hana over y/n again😭 fuck toji!! he basically emotionally cheated if i was y/n i would’ve lefttt!! I swear your y/n’s are saints compared to me shhsjs

Your stories are so beautifully written yet so sad

I love them even if i might hate the love interest lol

Im More of the resentment type so it feels so silly to say this especially over a fanfic(but then again all of yours are so wonderfully written) but your stories i guess have made me possibly see things in a different light: like ppl do make mistakes and can change or genuinely regret them or that people can maybe hurt the people they love which is so weird for me to say because its a story and also im the type to refuse to believe you can love someone after you treated them so badly or cheated on them. Ig ur stories have made me realizes humans make mistakes and they aren’t BAD people for it butt the pppl they hurt doesn’t have to take them back nor forgive them or they can and it lean to something better than what would’ve been if they ended things

Note:

Im so sorry if im asking too much and i hope im not bothering you, i just tend to talk alot regarding things that i get invested in and i get so curious sbsjsj

Im probably writing this much because im so sleepy right now haha (my apologies especially if i wrote so much nonsense or I didn’t write/explain things wellh

thank you in advance if you answer 🫶i appreciate it, have a good day/night🖤i hope y enjoy the remaining of summer! Tysm for creating these masterpieces ‼️

hiii omg thanks so much, im glad that you enjoyed them <3

- to answer the first 3 questions: toji cheated bc he was bored. i have no excuses for this man in home series bc he really cheated bc their rs was getting a bit dull for him. do u know that point they say in some lovers' relationship. the drought, the feeling similar to "falling out of love" but they say not to leave your partner during this time bc that's when true love begins? yeah that. 🥹 he didn't really fell out of love but it's like a similar feeling to it.

- as for plans for another series, i'm thinking of doing a mini one. i have a draft here just waiting to be polished and published.

- if yn didn't die, hmm... assuming they stayed together, it's gonna be a very dead relationship. bc yn is so so tired. not just emotionally but mentally too. she's gonna have a hard time believing that toji still loves her even if he tried to explain. she's gonna be very reserved and visibly uncomfortable around him, thinking that he doesn't really want to be w her and just staying out of pity. she's gonna limit herself, and the love that she shows him. it will ultimately end in divorce, and he's gonna end up not wanting to sign it.

- yes, toji would've still regretted it even if yn didn't die. he's bound to come back to yn eventually. the day he left, he never planned on staying with his mistress for long. he just went there bc he was frustrated and he's trying to run away from yn's confrontation and the consequences. deep inside he was hoping that yn won't push through w the 'divorce.'

- for the 7th and 8th question, yes toji thought of yn every day and every night. the onyl time he's not thinking of her is when he's swarmed with work. but even during those times, his mind wanders to her still. the feeling that he felt when he learned of her death and discovered how she prepared everything for him and his new life was how he felt his whole life. it was never lessened. if anything it only got worse w time.

- for the 9th, 10th and 11th question: no, he didn't love his mistress more than yn. he left and put his mistress over his wife bc he thought that's what he wanted. there was a sense of thrill, the feeling of being with someone new that pushed him to act like that. as mentioned in the home series, his pride took over and he thought that that's the freedom that he wanted but it wasn't. it was too late when he realized that. you really don't know what you got until it's gone. he thought yn's gonna be there forever and that's why he kept choosing to go to his mistress not knowing that yn's days were numbered and that he's about to lose her.

- when he first cheated w her out of pure lust. there was no deeper meaning to it. and then it kept happening bc he found escape and thrill in it. other than that, she gives him a different type of attention, something new.

- w hana it was the attraction that made him act like that. im not saying all people, but some tend to be nice to attractive people and they don't even notice that to impress a new one, they end up neglecting another one. other than that, it's bc they work together. he doesn't plan on getting it on w her tho. he loves yn.

- i just like the thought of them making mistakes to learn from LMAO but i guess the difference is in fix you, his wife's dead. it's the lack of appreciation for the present and being stuck in the past. while in sundered, uhm it's a lot of pride and he did love Naomi tho. she was so good to him. (except that 'thing' she tried to do)

it makes me happy when people say they learn something from the content i put out🥺 the fact that you guys read my masterlist also makes me happy bc it makes me realize that literature really do make something immortal AAAAA i enjoyed reading this and answering your questions~ thank you so much for the love and support you give my stories <3 hope you're having a great week ~!!

[royrockstone]

Some of these ig :)

Roman + 😃 , 🐈 , 🎡 , 🎭

Kendall + 📿 , 🧡

Shiv + 🐈 , 😨 , 🌘

I hope I'm doing this right, I usually don't do these hc/ask game things but I just finished honesty and it was delicious so...

(also sorry for making you think about roman being happy)

Roman

hc + 😃 for a happiness-themed headcanon

omg this is tough... ty for apologizing bc this is a hardship...

i think roman thought of logan as the font of all happiness. i think, after logan's gone-- it's not that roman stops being able to feel happy or that the world has gone grey or whatever-- it's more that he can no longer trust the feeling of happiness, if it doesn't come from logan. i think logans death so subtly but completely unmoored him that happiness would start to feel wrong or traitorous.

hc + 🐈 for a pet/animal-themed headcanon

i mean why write a hc in a tumblr post when could've had a dog exists.

buuut i think roman probably shouldn't have a pet because he is just not responsible. BUT he would be capable of lavishing tremendous love on one periodically, if there were one in his life. i could see him being in a semi-sham relationship with a woman where neither of them is at all happy, and delaying the breakup bc she has like. a cute cat.

i can also very clearly imagine roman being incredibly emotional and irrationally angry about his pets. like he told shiv to feed his fish while he was away at military school and then he gets back and he's like "you clearly didn't feed my fish every day they look all pale and sad this is why you'll be a terrible mother"

hc + 🎡 for a hobby-themed headcanon

i think he's mostly a passive hobby person. going to the movies, etc. i think active hobbies feel embarrassingly earnest and also middle class to him. i could see an older roman having some kind of rich person conspicuous-consumption based hobby (collecting amusingly ugly but expensive paintings, maybe?)

hc + 🎭 for an arts-/crafts-themed headcanon

i think a lot about the 'roman wrote a screenplay' throwaway line, and my final judgment is that roman probably has the capability to write cleverly, but lacks all the work ethic and compassion and interest in others that would make a good screenwriter. i am also a 'roman secretly wishes caroline had put him in ballet lessons' truther. i think that's for aesthetic reasons plus the vague sadomasochism of a ballet master with a troublesome student being very gerri-esque and appealing, and i don't think roman would have ever acted on that wish.

Kendall

hc + 📿 for a faith-themed headcanon

im sure he had a TM phase, a Buddhist phase, maybe a Kabbalah phase back when that was a thing, but he also can't help but subordinate any belief he has to his larger belief in, like, The Market, and he lacks the commitment to stick to any one belief about the nature of the universe or his own spiritual practice.

he clearly believes in God, but not in any helpful or constructive way. he needs God in the sense that he needs the domineering presence of a belief in something overwhelmingly bigger than himself, which is why logan was able to be his godhead for a while. but he also clearly wants to believe that sins get punished and expunged, that he can have a clean slate and a clear conscience again, and he's yet to find any force that can really offer him that.

hc + 🧡 for a friendship-themed headcanon

kendall is the only sibling who lets people get somewhat close to him, for better or for worse, and that puts people like stewy close enough to see everything that's wrong but never close enough to help him (and maybe stewy just isn't interested enough to attempt to help anymore) when kendall tried to get stewy in bed with waystar, im sure every single one of stewy's instincts were like Do Not Do This and kendall was like "dude. name one good reason why you shouldn't be i the kenny business" and stewy was like "well you have half an eating disorder and an entire coke habit, and your rickety aging family business is held together with debt and duct tape"

(i kind of want to extend my kendall pov chapter from eat what's rotten into a full fic one day, because i like thinking about stewy's view of the roy dysfunction/the collective family ed.)

Shiv

hc + 🐈 for a pet/animal-themed headcanon

im team shiv resents mondale. i think she doesnt even like the image of having a dog-- nothing appeals to her about the christmas card with a big, handsome purebred. i think she internally sentenced herself to doing something nice for tom because she felt bad about something or other and next thing she knew they had a dog. i think shes disgusted by them being dumb, and undiscriminating, and messy. see again couldve had a dog

hc + 😨 for a fear-themed headcanon

i think shiv is mostly afraid of germs and her father. there's a lot of talk in the show that infantalizes shiv-- the pretend post office story connor tells, 'she sees monsters from piles of laundry on the floor' or whatever, 'he built you a playground and you think it's the world'. and it feels like it's just rank misogyny, and in many ways it is, but also that language suggests something that is true. shiv has a polished adult exterior, and hides it all well, but she is, as much as her brothers, still a petrified child who perpetually thinks she's in trouble with daddy. and i dont think the people around her completely see or acknowledge that, but they are dimly aware of it.

hc + 🌘 for a night-themed headcanon

insomniac shiv is very close to my heart. i like the idea that she thinks shes stronger than other people because she functions with very little sleep. like she was that person in college who was like 'ive slept five hours in the past three days and im going to a party tonight and ill have my midterm turned in before that'

[samuelroukin]

btw i was fully planning to come here and call em gringos but then the game went and made a whole thing out of that

the whole "green go home" story that alejandro tells gaz is pretty much pure bullshit (that sounded harsh. it's just yk one of those fun facts that aren't very factual at all)

the origin of the word gringo is mostly uncertain but a much better explanation is that it came from "griego" (Greek, in Spanish) bc the Spanish used it to refer to foreign people who spoke weird ass difficult languages (like greek, to them)

and it does make perfect sense to me bc as a latino myself i can tell you that we do say "am i speaking in greek, by any chance?" to be a little condescending when someone ignores us or can't understand what we're talking about, so that seems much more reasonable?? that use precedes the 1847 thing alejandro mentions btw

and now that ive already digged this linguistic hole for myself I also have to add that the translation in the subtitles is pretty fucking wild at times. i don't know any russian or arabic so i can't really speak on those fronts but in spanish????? oh boy

they literally translated "mueve el culo, cabrón" as "this way" ?????? which not only is NOT what that means but also fails so horribly at conveying tone. very sad. also none of the gringo characters ever pronounced Si Nombre right. not even soap. I have no words for my disappointment (still proud of him for the rest of his Spanish pronunciation, it's so good 🥺🥺)

anyway im sorry for this tangent i just had to. i tried not to say anything but if im not annoying 24/7 i'll explode. you don't want me to explode, do you?? then you'll have to forgive me for this 😔

oh that makes sense, i never heard that before 🤔 interesting!

i only know like three words of spanish but i did catch that one lmao. sucks that it might be that bad for other parts too, like obviously someone wrote that, why not include the right translation.. different teams, ig, but the script is Right There so

and no i get it, if they did that with dutch i'd be a little annoyed too!!

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

about this post.

first, even if it was about you, don't pay any mind to it.

sure, some people might have issues with chubby chaser characters lusting after a chubby reader. but you're literally not harming anyone ?? like, there are worse things in this world to worry about.

like, no one has an issue with a non-chubby reader being paired with a character that's obsessed with reader's body or something.

also, i don't get the issue with a character having, like, a fetish for a chubby reader ?? like, fetish is synonymous with kink, right ?? like, characters liking a reader with a bush down there, or with a certain type of boobs or nipples & so on, so on. ya know ??

also, no one's bitching about the way us fanfic writers fetishize the bodies of anime men (except the tiktok children tbh; they bitch a lot). like, no one's mad about me posting about sukuna's big ass tits. or dad bod bakugo or whatever !! like, it's fictional !!

it's not like you're trynna get your fanfics professionally published & put out in the world where it does get critiqued. fanfiction doesn't exist to be critiqued. it's to be horny & sad & happy without some publishing company changing our stuff.

right ??

apologies for the rant. anyways, don't let it bother ya. nanami is a chubby chaser. but he only chases after you bc you're his chubby housewife !!

Aww, thank u for sending me this hun 🥺💕 im not actually upset or anything, i was just thinking about writing and how it affects others. I saw a random post that was critiquing the way ppl wrote chubby reader fics and they said that fetishizing fat people was also fatphobia which yes ig but does that logic still apply when you yourself are fat? If a fat writer writes porn where a character is obsessed with a fat reader's body, is that still fetishization? And if it is, should we really compare it to nonfat ppl in the real world who exclusively target fat ppl to try and have sex with them? Are these comparable? Are my lil fics really perpetuating the trope of a person liking fat ppl just for their bodies or am i just a fanfic writer who is indulging in fantasies so that i can help love myself more? These questions were just kind of stewing in my head and i wanted to get them out.

Realistically, this post was not about me. I don't think I've ever interacted with this account before and i doubt that they've ever read my fics before so it most likely did not apply to me at all. I think they mentioned a word that i use in fics and said it was a fetishist and fatphobic adjective to use so that's when i started thinking about my own fics.

Tbh i don't think there's anything wrong with what im doing. If ppl don't like my writing then they are free to block me or never read my fics again, just like how i do with certain subjects that i don't want to read about. Ppl have their own experiences which shapes their opinions, so it makes sense that i would think differently from another person. Neither of us are right or wrong, we just have different perspectives. I'm not going to stop writing, i enjoy it a lot and i like writing about characters being obsessed with my body, it makes me feel beautiful and desirable which I've never really felt irl before. It makes me happy so i certainly don't plan on stopping anytime soon :)

[cartoonrival]

I understand that you're arguing in good faith on behalf of all lore being canon and not just stuff that cc!wilbur's touched, and I agree with it completely, but the reason wilbur's so dominant is because he- literally made the dsmp an rp server.

when wilbur started the 'l'manburg revolution' story he was getting mocked by pretty much every cc for trying to rp in minecraft, until it started getting views of course. he pulled tommy into it, and it became a massive hit, after which he wrote the entire draft of s1. at the time, he was the only experienced rper/writer on the server (and pretty much still is), and probably didn't think anyone other than his immediate friends and people already involved would want to join.

he wound up as the head writer because he was the only person who wanted the job at the time, and by the end of s1 he was "carrying the whole server" (techno's words) and writing for literally anyone who wanted him to. his rules, traditions, and character foundations are present in literally every dsmp plot with or without him because without him the smp wouldn't exist, y'know?

he literally had to stop writing on the dsmp in order to focus on getting your new boyfriend released, like it was a huge time commitment.

now, it's kind of blatantly clear looking at people like tubbo and phil that they want help from him and ask him for guidance, which makes sense bc he's the only one with anywhere near the experience you would expect for handling a project like this. ranboo said wilbur was the only one to be able to make concrete plans with him to do the lore they did yesterday, too.

sorry to just dump a ramble on you but it makes me sad to see stuff like "he didn't do anything more than anyone else" or "idk why he's so dominant on the server" because mans put in so much work for literally everyone around him and as much as other people's writing is valuable and should be respected as canon, ig I get why people hold him up on a bit of a pedestal because the smp was his life for a few monthes.

basically: respect other people and if they say it's canon it's canon! but also, wilbur soot went fucking insane and accidentally created the foundation for one of biggest the biggest fandoms of 2021 and can't be given enough credit for it.

also no obligation to answer this I understand if this sounds like really annoying and preachy I promise I'm not trying to come off that way

genuinely godbless all the work he’s done and i’m not disagreeing with what you’ve said here. i’m just saying that giving wilbur credit shouldn’t mean taking credit away from other people. /nm

[3230312]

♡ the march mix ♡

SUPA ✭’s :

✭ Deserve It / Shenseea

When she first dropped the album, I knew this one was going to make my top ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ . The chorus is incredibly catchy, and she wrote a great bridge !!! (y’all know those are hard to come by these days). This is a fresh, playful track perfect for the summer, whether you have a boo to sing about, or not. It’s my favorite from this project, and not even her best ! I’m so glad she’s finally getting the love she deserves :)

✭ ✭ riddle / midwxst

I had these lyrics memorized by the third listen. THATS how much I adore this song. My new favorite genre is sad boy hyper-rap 😍. The best part of this process is discovering new voices, and midwxst did not disappoint. The lyrics are relatable enough to scream along in the car, the beat makes you want to dance even against your will, and the bass sounds amazing when you’re trying to drown out your tears. Also, great replay value.

✭ ✭ ✭ Feels Like / Lucky Daye

You have no idea how hard it was for me to not put half of this album on the mix 🤧 Lucky MF Daye supplied us with hit after hit on tracks 1 thru 7 (idk why it fell off after that the way it did but that’s beside my point) As far as why this song made it not only on the mix but the top ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ as well is because there’s something about it that scratches an itch i never knew I had. Its almost timeless, I feel like i’ll be able to play this a few years from now and still fawn at his falsetto. His voice is like butter and the song itself is like a beautiful slice of freshly baked sourdough bread. I found myself singing it all week at work. And he showed us a bit of range, which i’m always appreciative of . 10/10 for sure !

✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ Blick Blick / Coi Leray x Nicki Minaj

There really isn’t much to be said bc it’s NICKI FUCKING MINAJ. I honestly was not expecting to like the song as much as I do, but i love it, and so does my notes app (I was in need of some more IG caption ideas). Coi absolutely chewed the bitch up and spit it out, and I know y’all checked the writing credits !! Her pen was pushed ! The bars are showing out, the beat goes crazy, and you can’t help but make that shit clap by the time you hit the first chorus. This is such a well done collab that shows Coi is more than a meme ! Seriously y’all leave the girl alone. Here’s to hoping that her future projects carry the same type of heat and hunger. She might make a stan out of me one day (or maybe not idk shit but lil booties gotta stick together out here.. Right??!)

⭐️ Bad News / Buddy

This whole album was unskippable perfection. This album is the reason this playlist took so long to wrap up. I can honestly say it’s not the best song on the album (the man has a T-Pain feature, hello!?!!?), but the one I adore the most. I’ve loved everything Buddy has done, even as OverDoz, but I was definitely surprised by how seamless this project sounds. There isn’t a second you aren’t aware that you’re listening to a West Coast artist, especially when he can perfectly string together a story over a beachy pop beat. This is the only song I want playing while i’m riding down PCH in a candy red drop top (is that too specific? Do y’all even know what PCH is? Anyway) Nothing but head banging, steering wheel slapping, Malibu surfer dude realness. The vibe is truly impeccable. It’s like an audible high speed early 90’s car chase. Fun, fresh, but still some real ghetto LA shit. Buddy is, once again, ahead of the curve and I don’t even think his peers are on the same track.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this is a super special #mixodamumf from theonlypiscesthatmatters 🥰

seeing as march is the best month, it only makes sense it got the best drops . it was almost annoyingly too hard to choose my top ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ but i think i did okay <3

shuffle friendly as always :) xoxo, jo ! 🧚🏾‍♀️🪐💓

[zukkaoru]

Fic Writer Review

tagged by @bisexualpercabeth tysm for the tag!! <3

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 85 lol

2. what’s your total AO3 word count? 489,407.. don't ask how much of that is just from the past year lol

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? i have posted fics for 20 different fandoms on ao3 and i am not going going to list them all out but my top five are atla, 0uat, tlok, h$mtmt$, and tales of arcadia

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. plum blossom 2. you clutched my brain and eased my ailing 3. my calamitous love & insurmountable grief 4. five times ryan came out (and one time he couldn't) 5. feels like love

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not? i usually try to but sometimes i simply do not know what to say. or i let too many comments build up in my inbox and end up just not responding bc i'm overwhelmed oops

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? uh. it's gotta be one of my old 0uat fics bc i don't usually like to write angsty endings anymore skdgfdj i'm not sure i want to link to any specific oneshot but if you're curious you can look back through my ao3 ig there's also looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away but that's part of a series so the entire coherent story doesn't end angstily lol

(continued under the cut)

7. do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written? i don't really anymore but oh boy. the craziest one i've ever written? one of my friends and i started writing a fic back when we were like ten and we literally called it The Megacrossover (the mega for short) bc we just. shoved as many fandoms as we could in that thing. it started out just being a pjo / hp / thg crossover where the characters got reaped for a hunger games based on their cabin at camp half-blood but then we ended up including doctor who and 0uat in the plot to get everyone out of the arena, and then we brought in olaf for some reason (?) and we also had plans to bring in characters from divergent and the maze runner but unfortunately we never finished. anyway. long live the mega. it's still in a binder on my bedroom floor at home

8. have you ever received hate on a fic? yeah but not recently. my favorite was someone hate commenting on chapter eleven of a doctor who fic i posted on ff.net that i wrote when i was like 13-14. and when i called them out in the author's note of the next chapter, saying "if you don't like you don't have to read" they commented again and said something like "well obviously you don't know if you don't like it until you start reading, stupid" like yeah bro but. eleven chapters? if it took you that long to realize you didn't like it, that's sounds like a you problem

9. do you write smut? if so what kind? nope lol

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of lol

11. have you ever had a fic translated? nope

12. have you ever co-written a fic before? not besides The Mega. but corey and i create (mostly cursed) AUs together which is close enough <3

13. what’s your all time favorite ship? i am morally obligated to answer outlaw queen for this. but currently matchablossom is occupying all my thoughts

14. what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? oh there are so many atla fic ideas i have that i'm not sure i'll ever have time to flesh out and write. there's one i came up with based very loosely on the song snow by ricky montgomery that's sokka-centric but it's very complex and elaborate and i could definitely see it being upwards of 200k words and i just. don't have time for it which is very sad to me bc it would be so good if i did

15. what are your writing strengths? i'm so bad at questions like this. i don't know?? sometimes i write and i like everything about what i'm writing and sometimes i write and i hate it all. i guess dialogue ? sure

16. what are your writing weaknesses? action scenes. describing the physical details of the setting. sometimes (see: a lot of times) i write sentences so long and convoluted that they make sense to no one other than me.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? gonna be honest i really haven't seen that much of this? like i think it's cool when it comes up bc i love other languages! but i also always worry i'm going to be mistranslating something whenever i do it skdhjgfd also if you're going to be doing a lot of it, i feel like you should probably include a translation somewhere so people know what's going on without having to like. switch back and forth between the fic and google translate or smth

18. what was the first fandom you wrote for? percy jackson

19. what’s your favorite fic you’ve written? it's probably gotta be this ultraviolet morning light (which is now on the second page of my fics what the heck???) tuvml is my baby and the longest fic i've finished to date and i still think about how rising sun verse zuko and sokka are doing quite often. i've also still got a couple half-finished fics for that universe and a longer sequel i'd love to publish someday but i've been. distracted by other fics

tagging (with no obligation): @that-was-anticlimactic @smilehoneyy @bisexuallsokka @beachytablecloth and anyone else who wants to!!

[transhoverfish]

What are everyone's "abilities" in Survivors? Ryley has good hearing and Milo glows but what do the others have?

!!! YOU HAVE ASKED ME ABOUT MY AU !!! THE FLOODGATES OF YELLING HAVE OPENED!!

OK SO. as u mentioned ryley has good hearing and milo glows. basically,

ryley = good hearing

milo = glowy boy

emily = electric detection (cooler than i describe rn my vocabulary is small)

danby = like emily's but reverse. controls electromagnetic things

roman = night vision

jochi = the most superpower like one, he got quick regeneration.

avery = telepathy!

bart = also kind of telepathy but more like future telepathy. he has future vision.

and i. never thought of one for ozzy actually and at this point i have no idea what to give them that wouldn't have been brought up prior so. u know genetics are weird! they just dont have anything ig. nobody look at me LABDKABDLABD

AND ALSO paul and marg have powers! paul got that peeper enzyme carrier thing, and marg got the very funny power of feeling others emotions. yes that includes the fish. yes this is one of the primary reasons she didnt kill paul over a decade of dealing w him. yes she hates it.

and the vesper haven't been sick long enough to develop anything! or at least thats what im going with bc i havent thought of anything for them yet 😔

AND NOW: LONGER EXPLANATIONS. IM GONNA GET CARRIED AWAY SO ITS UNDER A READ-MORE.

first off on the list: bart! so bart.. kinda has futuristic visions?? but the things he sees are not set in the stone,, as in if he dreams about smth (a lot like ryley can!) it is possible to change those events! most of these visions/telepathy type stuff were bc of the emperor and warpers, and also al-an! once the sea emp died and the warpers all calmed down his powers kind of go away a bit. i think i wrote al-an sort of mentioning it in one chap of awa?? but its only kind of implied. so he has rlly similar powers to avery except he can't tell what others are thinking and he can only kind of tell how his closest friends r feeling. so right now bart pretty much doesn't have powers! he can communicate w the warpers and sea emps much easier than the others tho (he's the only one that can talk to warpers! im not sure he'd get along w them after being hunted down by them for like 12 years though KABDLSBRLSHD)

avery has telepathy! this is because when he first shows up he jokes about having telepathy and i was like "haha. WAIT." and then he got telepathy! i realize its a bad idea to not come up with their powers until as im writing but uhhh well. i never said i was a fantastic writer who's smart. KANROSHROSBF.

he also kind of had marg's empathy ability but wayyy dialed back. he can only tell how other humans are feeling and he can only vaguely understand it as opposed to feeling the emotions himself like marg does. so he can kind of tell how others are feeling and he can tell what theyre thinking about! unless of course for plot convince he can't. strong emotions, especially strong negative emotions (ie. fear) can overwhelm him and makes his powers stop working. and if someone is convinced they're right then he wont b able to tell they're lying/hiding something! yay plot convenience!!

roman has night vision. i have no way of making this sound cool he just straight up can see really well in the dark. like a cat. most of the powers were based off where they originally landed and what would help them in that area! and roman landed in the sparse reef, which is so dark all the time i cry thinking about it. so he has night vision! his poor eyesight is probably all kinds of fucked up now tho.

jochi has regeneration abilities! now i know this might sound a bit much but he just heals from cuts and stuff faster and like. he bones heal fast. and he's more likely to survive smth that might usually kill someone, but its like a 10% higher chance of living nothing too much. he doesn't rlly get scars as much as the others, and its healed his old ones a bit more! this is by far the most unrealistic power of them all, but ya know its alien fish planet game who cares. basically bc his life support systems failed his spine got all fucked up and he got infected faster bc he was barely alive for the first few days and spent a lot of time w bart who was looking after him. power helped fix his back, but he still has a rlly bad limp and pretty much constant pain. big mood there khasar 😔✊

emily can detect electromagnetic waves! works best underwater. kind of like ryley's, but instead of hearing noises she can only hear anything electric, like vehicles or ampeels or heartbeats. gets all fucked up during thunderstorms though sadly. she's the only other one that can kind of hear warpers and can tell when ones about to warp around but she cant actually talk back to them. pretty sick if u ask me tho.

danby has p similar powers to her bc ampeels also spawn in the bulb zone. except he can sense them at a much smaller distance, cant hear warpers, and can control the waves around him! mostly just his own tho. so like, he can quiet his heartbeat or make it stop all together. scary power that he does not know how to control. uh oh. but he can also control other creatures a bit! he's very good at hiding bc of this, which is nice bc he loves to hide from scary things. very big mood once again.

milo is glowing powers! looks a lot like the transparency of a ghost levi or a crabsquid, although he isn't as see through as them. you can def make out like veins but not bones or organs. his powers are activated by touch, the more force behind will create more glow and more transparency! a poke = goes away within a few seconds, a slap = stays for a minute or so. instead of bruises, he just glows until the bruise would normally go away. he's basically a living glowstick. i have another joke for this but i cannot physically convince myself to type it bc its some shit emily would say to him and i cannot embarrass him like that LABDLABDKABAKD

andd ryley's super hearing! can hear basically everything within a mile radius at all times. im bad at math and i don't know the metric system but i think that's like around 1k meters. wait does the metric system use mile already. no. ONCE AGAIN NEVER SAID I WAS SMART.

OK ANYWAYS back on track! this means he can hear about half of the crater at all times. he's gotten p good at blocking out background noise and anything far away. typically only hears everything within like 300 meters of himself. so when he does get back to just hearing everything its like. u ever take out headphones in a busy place and everything kinda hurts for a few seconds bc its so much noise. yeah like that but 500x worse. he's able to concentrate on specific areas within this 1 mile field but if its far away it fucks him up good for a lil while. sorry ryley :(

and then the other two degasi! as mentioned before, paul can carry enzyme like the peepers, but he also can kind of make some himself! only small amounts and it works a bit less than the peeper enzyme does. he does not have to cough it up though thankfully it just like. idk how to describe this idea it can just kind of leave through his skin?? he has like no control over his power at all it just kind does its own thing and he deals w it. this is primarily how he and marg survive for so long w/o dying to kharra!

and finally marguerit! highly empathetic abilities that allow her to feel the emotions of anything around her! i thought it would be funny as hell to give MARGUERIT of all ppl Big Emotion Disease. this is a big reason why she has had yet to murder paul and why she's a lot less murderer like in the au. its hard to kill someone if you. you know. can feel exactly what they are. probably the reason she adopted Dog Bart/Legally Preston Emotionally Not. saw sad puppy and felt too bad to leave him. like paul, she has basically no control over it and is one of the reasons she does NOT want to go back to the survivors base and be around so many other ppl, she'd be feeling like, 13 ppl's emotions at one time. all these powers have fucked up drawbacks dont they??

once again sam, robin, jeff, maxim, and ozzy are (for now at least) not gonna have any powers! mutations are weird and ozzy just didn't get anything, and the vesper haven't been sick long enough for any yet!

OK THATS ALL. HOLY SHIT SORRY FOR YELLING FOR 15 MINUTES. GOT CARRIED AWAY. hopefully that explains everything tho OABEOABROANRJS OK BYE MY PHONE IS ALMOST DEAD

[amourology]

I’m glad I could make you feel that way. I hope you know that I do appreciate you and all of your hard work. You are an amazing person and deserve to be told such and that you are appreciated.

I have also spent way too much money on sims and expansions so do not feel bad lol. I think I removed the game right before the snowy escape expansion pack game out, but prior to that I think it had all of the expansion and game packs and most of the stuff packs. 😅 Sims and EA have truly owned me for a while lol. The amount of money I have spent on it is sad.

Also Schat is so freaking cute. I love the dynamics between Kaz and the reader. Kaz would definitely express his feelings in a way where the reader would have no idea what is going on and would think it’s an insult. Oblivious reader and pining Kaz is always so good and you wrote it so well. I also 100% love that you have used real Dutch nicknames. It’s so cool! I know reader doesn’t know what Kaz had said to her, but will you ever tell us? (If not I’m totally fine with that lol I am also just curious).

I know you mainly write healer!reader (which I believe I have previously told you that I love so much. If I haven’t, we’ll I am now lol). Do you picture all of them to happen in the same “universe” for the most part? Like does Belladonna happen in the same universe as Schat? I’m curious if you picture it like that when you write it or not. If they don’t and are separate that totally cool. If they are in the same universe, then I love that as well.

Anyway sorry for the crazy long message that probably has a million typos. I love your writing and think you are incredible. Time for me to go reread Schat 1000 times so it’s even with Belladonna and then continue rereading both lol.

I hope you’ve had a good night/day ans that tomorrow is good as well lol (time zones can suck and my schedule is weird already and so I feel like I barely know what time it is for me let alone other people, and I never want to assume people are in a similar time zone to me lol)

-🗝

🗝 STOP YOURE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY FR ONE DAY I—😭😭😭 you’re literally so sweet idk what i did to deserve u :(

for the sims, i really wanna get snowy escape & the cottage living ones too!! i’m just broke atm lmao so ig i’m gonna have to wait — glad to see im not the only one that spend way too much money on that damned game tho 💀

ahh thank u so much!! and yea i definitely think that the only way for kaz to express his feelings verbally would be when he’s 100% sure the other does not know what tf he’s talking about & i also feel like he’d just?? let them think it’s an insult?? as long as they don’t know how he really feels all is good lmao

and yea the dutch nicknames (or nickname really) felt so weird to write sksks idk mainly bc dutch nicknames make me cringe so hard (someone called me liefje once and it made me want to die 😩) and bc it’s just strange to me to write in dutch lmao like i haven’t done that since i was 13 💀

as for the sentence…i DO have the sentence he said to her written in my drafts & i’ll see if i can maken little blurb with it for u guys when i get over the ick of using my actual language into fics lol but don’t worry you’ll know eventually :)

i think i’m gonna switch between the “universes” for now! idk if it makes sense but schat definitely happened in a different universe than belladonna bc they’re both kind of moments were kaz and y/n realise their feelings for each other — when a fic is in the same “universe” as belladonna i’ll put a “fem!belladonna!reader” as the paring, maybe? idk imma think about how i’m gonna do that bc i do have some ideas planned that do take place in the same “universe”

DONT EVER APOLOGISE FOR LONG MESSAGES!! like ever. i promise i love receiving them, especially if they’re as kind as yours <3

for my timezone, im in CET! what’s yours? (if u don’t mind me asking off) i’ll put it as a little widget thingy in my phone :)

anyways, hope you have a good day 🗝 <3

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[reversecreek]

lily for magda (thinking about figs feeling evil), tulip for cricket, marigold for ziggy, chrysanthemum for bradley, belladonna for nyla

lily :   how does your muse view their mother ?  

magda doesn’t know a lot abt her mum. she knows vague snippets n details bt they’re all very elusive. it’s kind of a tricky subject where her mum’s concerned bc when she was younger she’d come up w all these assumptions abt how her mum was n who she’d be if she were with her but the rational part of magda was like..... u don’t know any of this. ur literally making things up. it’s kind of hard for a kid to have that vital person missing from their life n to resist the urge to fill in the blanks with their own projections so the space feels less empty. it’s like having a tooth missing n ur tongue always going back to poke at the spot in ur gum. there’s a constant reminder of loss in that. magda knows her mum liked to sing bc her dad said once she’d always sing to her belly when she was pregnant. this is a lot of the reason why magda has always cared so much abt music bc she took this fact in her fist n grasped it tight n never let go n in a way grew parts of herself around it. it’s like............. i feel like her mum dying in childbirth gave her lots of issues when it comes to her identity n like. who she is n who she wants to be.......... bc of magda’s issues w her dad i feel like she got into this habit growing up of rly putting who her mum could have been on a pedestal n basing everything around that.... she’d be like I’m More Like Her (a belief which was only accelerated bc her dad would drunkenly say she looked so much like her) n cling onto that so she liked herself more bc the other option was her dad who she loves but he’s also an incredibly flawed person n they hv a complicated relationship...... i think as she’s gotten older she’s realised her mum cld very well have been that way too n putting people on pedestals isn’t the way to go about things but. idk. as a kid she was kind of obsessed w this idea of her n this idea that her mum being gone was the beginning n end of everything wrong in her life. for the most part now magda accepts she never knew her n sometimes even feels stupid for grieving her at all bc she never knew her to grieve in the first place but. there’s a tiny part of magda tht still hangs on to the comfort of what she could have had n it’s obvious by the fact she still keeps a photograph of her folded up in her pillow. she loves the mum she made up in her head n she wishes she got to meet her. there’s this sense tht maybe then she wouldn’t feel like this culmination of missing parts more than a person if she’d had that in her life. sighs n lks away holding my dyed black emo bang.....

tulip :   how does your muse view people in general ?  

cricket is like. the strangest little anomaly of a person FGHKSFGHSFKGH bc like. u would rly think that after everything he’s been thru he would just have this absolutely jaded view of people and life in general and i wouldn’t even......... blame him for it if he did like. i’d understand completely bc he’s experienced A Lot of bad stuff. n yet somehow he just.... idk. i think i wrote in a reply once this comparison of cricket n a cockroach in the sense that they have this incredibly reinforced exoskeleton n even if they’re stomped flat they can keep living n bounce back from it n that’s very him but it’s more specifically the hope inside him. he has this little candle lit that good things can still happen midst all of the terrible things n i genuinely can’t see it snuffing out at any point even tho sometimes he might want it to. sometimes i think he even gets into these frames of mind where it jst infuriates the fk out of him bc in his head he’s like why do u even think good shit can happen when u have sm overwhelming evidence to the contrary but then he’s also like. look u can dwell on the bad or u can notice the way the light falls thru the leaves in the trees and u can think to urself inside ur head as u listen to someone u love talking abt something that makes them happy ‘hey this feeling is nice n there’s a dozen others like it’. idk. against all odds he’s an optimist. he has tinnitus in his left ear n sometimes he pretends the ringing is angels trying to talk to him. he likes to search for the silver linings in things to make them bearable n that’s how he gets by. obviously he knows there’s evil in the world n that a lot of people can be shit bc he has firsthand experience w that but he also believes there are people to serve as the antithesis to that n he wants to focus on them bc like. why give bad stuff the time of day. not necessarily always a positive coping mechanism (if u bottle up bad feelings n thoughts they leak thru one way or another aka his overwhelming anxiety) but like.... i think there’s a lot of bravery in that n i respect him for it i won’t lie. he cld have become very bitter bt instead he’s like that quote that’s like 'the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it'. suddenly slaps his little anxious rump (supportive) (affectionate)

marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?  how might they handle envious feelings ?  

it’s hard to say w ziggy............... i feel like he doesn’t want to think he’s prone to jealousy bc he’s like i’m literally a god wdym i simply wld never give a fk bc i know i’m above all else................. but like. do u actually believe that ziggy. do u. FKGJHKSJGHFGSHFGKSHGKFHG. he’s good at convincing himself at least........... has me fooled too most of the time. bt. thinks abt this.............. i feel like he doesn’t tend to get jealous over ppl he hooks up w a lot of the time bt there’s definitely a few select ppl he might.......... n then he doesn’t rly know what that feeling is bc he’s so unused to feeling it so he’s like wtf why am i so fking pissed off over the thought of this person fking that person? like literally doesn’t even. connect the dots n make the logical conclusion bc it jst seems so bizarre n nonsensical to him. rly is awful at working out his own feelings like. he cld just suddenly explode one day n have to smash a bunch of shit in a junkyard n after his chest is heaving n he has all this broken stuff around him n he’s just like yo wtf was that man forreal lmfaoooooooooo..... like he just doesn’t even get how his own emotions work it’s tragic n it’s men for u. w anxious feelings he represses them a lot he doesn’t rly understand what they r or know how to recognise them........... i honestly feel like he has a lot of anxiety surrounding his mum esp w her dating n like some of the guys they’ve both had to deal w that she’s dated in the past.......... i doubt he processes that healthily or expresses it healthily either..... probably contributes to the tensions between him n his mum they hv a lot of underlying issues that come out in the form of bickering n petty disagreements...... probably a huge contributor to him acting out so terribly in high skl was just all this pent up worried energy with no means of making sense of itself or like. place to go. like shaking a coke bottle over n over n finally having to crack the lid n let it fizz on something. i also think he probably swallowed a lot of jealousy growing up whenever other kids had gd relationships w their fathers or parents in general probably ws kind of like lmfaooooo yo why don’t mine love me like that. in his head...... so ya. i think he copes w anxious feelings by acting out n also fucking if we’re being honest......... it helps him let off steam <3 king of clapping cheeks ig....

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?  how do they feel about love as a concept ?  

bradley is kind of hard to read romantically like from an outside perspective but slides on my thin rimmed spectacles n picks up my scalpel to delve right in to the nitty gritty of her brain... omg... that sounded... kind of scary actually but. it’s ok. basically settles in. bradley struggles to verbalise her feelings in this regard but also in a general sense honestly.... like she’s spent a lifetime having any vulnerable or negative feeling shut down....... her dad’s the type of personality where it’s like... u can’t win. even tho he’s narcissistic n thinks he’s a god if u compliment him or express affection he’ll act pleased but there’ll also be this register in his eyes where he thinks less of u for it. so this rly had a domino effect in bradley’s emotional expression in all grounds of life...... romance is probably the most frivolous concept to tony so bradley definitely internalised some of these views n wld feel stupid for ever taking anything seriously in that regard or rly investing herself..... she also just. idk. love has only ever left bite marks in bradley’s world so she’d kind of like ‘why wld i ever expose my tender spots n open myself up to someone just so they can sink their teeth in’. i will say tho that like. despite that she can in rare instances develop those feelings n it’s always like..... quite a struggle for her when she does. she doesn’t rly understand it or how to deal w it. she finds talking about it hard n she feels childish or weak in the eyes of whoever knows how she’s feeling. it takes a long time n a lot of work to earn it bt bradley in love is like. ur the only person on the planet who knows how gentle she can b. she’d literally like. touch the face of this one guy i wrote her being in love w when he was sad so gently it was shocking it ws like a love tht deep unlocked a whole other part of her she didn’t know existed. sex is a big part of her love expression jst like. a lot of it. so much. JHGSFKHGSFGKHFKGSHG let’s get it.......... she’s a ride or die n doesn’t do anything in halves. she has a nasty habit of pushing good things away n also wld probably do this to protect the other person bc her world is a never ending shit show with her father’s presence in every room even when he isn’t physically there. she wldn’t wna subject someone she loved to the danger of that bc she hates it enough herself so. idk. smiles w hand on hip. love isn’t something bradley thinks is on the menu fr her bc she’s only ever known it to be hard or mean n why bother trying when that’s the case. it feels like there’s always small print attached tht will hurt her in the end n nothing is free or genuine. very doomed outlook on love in general tbh.

belladonna :   how does your muse respond to silence ?   do they take comfort in soundlessness ,   or seek to fill the void with noise ?  

nyla honestly doesn’t mind silence at all........ they always wake up rly early in the morning no matter what time they went to bed. it’s like someone programmed an oven timer into their brain n often when they wake up at 6am or something they’ll go on walks around irving tottering in their own little world which is quite a quiet experience in itself when the rest of the world’s asleep........... always off on impromptu adventures they came up w on the spot.......... sometimes they get lost in their own train of thought too so they just randomly fall silent bc they’re having a whole conversation w themselves inside their head or like. writing a whole children’s story abt an iguana in a trench coat floating in a hot air balloon smoking a little vintage pipe all the way to peru. honestly for every 1 thing nyla says there’s about 4987295749572592745 things they don’t say tht are x100 times stranger n more nonsensical they sort of let it all drift thru their head like an open sieve for the most part. having said tht i think in order to sleep at night they probably need some sort of white noise or smthn................. it’s handy living in a beach house bc they just leave the window open to let the ocean gush bt sometimes if they’ve snuck into like. mido’s bed fr the night or someone’s bed idk the sound of them breathing works too................. they used to always sleep w bob ross playing on loop n that was rly comforting to them esp bc he reminds them a lot of their dad w his calming voice n energy.............. sometimes they’d have taken smthn n they’d literally hallucinate it as their dad instead of bob ross n this happened so many times in a row fr a period of time tht when they finally watched it sober they were like wtf since when did they recast my dad in this show...... KJHFGSHFGKSHFKGH but also. frowns... bit sad considering. 

[spadotto-ottodespade]

Borghi's social network's case.

I'm gonna start saying that NOBODY in this world is perfect and we should follow our minds, we can divide the person from the actor and we do this.

We love his acting, we share different visions on topics.

Now, we did follow him on IG and Twitter, we still do this by our fanpage for his work. Some things he shares are just not on our way of thinking and who we are.

We're two women and some posts make us say "mmh, this isn't right." you can think what you want, we just want to make sure you know about it.

This isn't the first time I share some happenings, Ale and Giacomo are friends with some problematic italian rappers - being a white rapper doesn't mean you can say such things, right? They use racism, mysoginy and homopobia in their lyrics and the 'right' to say that Ghali, an Italian rapper, wears feminine purses so isn't credible as such, to be a rapper you should wear masculine clothes? (from Gue Pequeno - someone who went live masturbating on IG)

Emis Killa (a friend of G.) who wrote a song with all the topics above + transphobia with Jack La Furia.

We know that show business, record labels and management are a huge problem...this doesn't mean they should be able to share these products.

Below you can find some of his likes:

"2020 represents the major progressive year of the #feminism: they (women) admit that a movie directed by a woman it's bad, it seems nothing but it's a half miracle for crazy supporters of the ideology, they're healing, I'm so happy for them."

"Never go against directionerz. Never, not even for a mistake."

The joke they made from the radio: "Guys, don't worry HS is cured from homosexuality"

The joke from this morning about HS wanted to be a real satir to the close minded - medieval and dangerous thoughts that refer homosexuality to as an illness. I'm apologizing to the ones, we don't know each other, they have completely misundertood the sense of our words #treatpeoplewithkindess

(of course we did, and Borghi is a Gucci testimonial also. Shouldn't satirical words, again, help people through them not to laugh on bad and mean jokes?)

I just read a dude who wrote - scientific context - researchers [ricercator* (the author surely has mistaken to show inclusivity to show an agender word to include everyone) - ricercatori (male plural) ricercatrici (plural female)], new front of orthographic pornography. Being the plural female 'ricercatrici' it assumes unprecedented connotations, however always ridiculous.

(the original post is by a man, shared by Irene - Ale's current girlfriend and liked by him)

F - females B- basic I - italian I- internazional (basic international italian females)

Rightly most people, regarding the seduction, are determinated on mocking the M- males B- base E-etero B- bianchi (basic white het males) but totally forgetting the beauty of the FBII.

his gf shared story:

We spend too much time mocking males when they seduct bc they unfortunately are the only ones who statistically gift us emotions, being also the only ones who flirt with them (females). And we forget in fact of how much it's already a paradox the own existence of the females in this sadness theather of seduction in which they are part of. It becomes most likable a male who flirt by chat in the worst way possible, to the eternal female immobilism that teaches to a world in which never wants to be the main character.

I've read twenty indignates for the sign 《(menstrual pads) they can't be sold on saturday and sunday》 that a supermarket has exsposed on the shelves. Now, okay that you're brain at 20 it's Mantellini's brain and you can't read the drecrees.

Okay that, instead of thinking 《1 supermarket who doesn't understand the decrees at all that should apply (+a mocking)》, you run to a social network to write that you're 《dumbfounded by a right.》

Okay that languages that you don't get are infinite to not to talk about your missed biology hours, so you put in your bio that your pronouns are she/they (if you're 'they' you have to explain to me why you're bleeding every month: aren't you, my god what a patriarchy, mammal?)

(Ale openly said once that he would like to play a queer or trans character)

"It's all right, but I'm going to say it, silicon valley: these dudes in 20 years are going to realize you let them be ridiculous in public and they do a class action to leave you in underwear. I would've if someone would've if they let my 20tude be public."

part 1/2

[daomaikeng]

What is your take on HS1, FL & Walls being break-up albums, especially considering L is extremely honest with lyrics???

hi! i was so shocked when i saw this in my inbox, bc im not like an expert or anything and i��ve been here for hardly any time. i hope i don’t disappoint you tho sjaksj. reminder: this is just my opinion, based on what i’ve read from posts and what i gather from the lyrics. 

louis is very open with his feelings and i think he’s quite vulnerable with harry because they trust each other that they’re not gonna use the weaknesses against each other. many people think that two ghosts was about “the first time he broke up” with harry, but if you watch that video it’s pretty clear that harry was joking. i don’t think hl ever broke up, i don’t think they ever wanted to be with anyone else. two ghosts, something great and jalboyh were written around the same time, and tbh they’re so honest and raw it actually hurts me to listen to them. two ghosts is totally about them not being able to be public with their relationship and all the bearding and stuff (i can’t touch what i see=not being able to act like they did with the other boys bc there would always be tender touches accompanying them, because they weren't just bandmates, and fans would always spot them so hl were social distancing since 2013, bless them) (telling those stories we’ve already told, cause we don’t say what we really mean=harry being a “womanizer” and louis making fun of larries and pretending it’s a joke) and like, come on. harry was fucking nineteen at the time. i don’t think they ever anticipated all the bullshit and lies that came with the fame. he desperately needed louis to cling on, needed all the support he could geṭ. i hate that, it's so hard.

however, i do think they had some kind of altercation in 2017. now im just assuming, don't come at me. judging by the lyrics of always you (which was written in 2017) ("should have never let you go"=it's kind of like a breakup song, and like louis is regretting it). walls (the album) has been five years in the making, and im sure it's like a journey of their relationship, if that makes sense? too young is about how they didn't know they had everything and obviously they must have made some mistakes but it doesn't matter because they're still together, still going strong :') ("im sorry that i hurt you darling"=this just stands with my theory even though idk when exactly ty was written, i think louis wrote it after harry left="it felt nothing like home cuz you're not home"). now as much as i don't want to believe it, i think louis sort of said something to harry that he took personally and maybe their relationship was getting kind of tiring(?), what with dunkirk's promo and release and all, and maybe they needed a break for a while and that fight was the last straw? harry left i assume ("the day you walked away and took the higher ground") but im sure they were back together soon.

unpopular opinion: i hate hs1. im not a huge fan of harry's music, tbh. fine line was alright ig, lyrically i kind of liked it. i haven't really listened to hs1, apart from two ghosts, meet me in the hallway and two/three other songs i can't remember rn. therefore, i can't judge if hs1 was a break up album but ig they had to fit some lyrics to fit the public narrative? like louis including the uni line in wmi, like harry writing cherry. (there's a theory that harry wrote cherry about dylan rider and camille rowe) and i quite agree with it. on spotify, when you listen to fl, there's lots of bs about harry's writers helping him get over the "breakup" by writing songs, and tbh i think it's portrayed as a break up album on purpose? because larry for sure NEVER broke up. some sad parts might have been written during "the fight" period, as i call it, but again, this is just an assumption. please don't send me hate over this sjejej

i hope this made sense to you :)

[battinson4ever]

i was tagged by @tigerkingofkandahar ages ago but im finally getting around to it now !! ty charlie !!

how do you feel about rainy weather?

im pretty indifferent abt it i usually like it !! i think getting caught in the rain is fun for all abt 10 minutes n then it gets old real fast 8/

is there a character from a fandom that you’re not even in that you like?

(charlie this is a great question.) FINN FROM STAR WARS I THINK HIS BACKSTORY IS SO NEAT.... i am sad abt what they did to him but all the stuff ive read abt him and his origin in the first movie is just. augh i think its so cool 

what’s one tiny, mundane thing that makes you absurdly happy?

I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO SAY GOODBYE TO THEIR FRIENDS AND THEN SPEND ANOTHER 5 MINUTES JUST HOVERING ABOUT AND CHATTING BC THEYRE SO RELUCTANT TO SAY GOODBYE. I LOVE IT (another great question!!)

you find a spider. do you kill it, trap and release it outside, let it do its own thing, or never use that room ever again?

i try to trap and release but other times i just pretend like it simply does not Exist.

what is your dream url?

nightwing or like idk. suki dot tumblr dot com ig lkdjfvlkdjv

what shaped your sense of humor?

my friends, my dad, a lot of the content i consumed,,, funhaus,,, (another great question from charlie these r just Hits)

if you could live in any fictional world, what would it be and why?

i wanna live in narnia... it just seems so peaceful 

who was your childhood hero?

oh man...... idk if i had one? my cousin ig? my uncle?

what do you consider your most prized possession?

my script i wrote for a sketch that i got signed by 2 of my biggest creative heroes lol........

how would you describe your aesthetic?

idk like comfy,, friendly,, slightly indie,, Loud,, 

i’m tagging @bicodedvillain @mermaides @lrrytrainor @micooll @callmeredhood @lunarmarias and here r the questions i want to ask!! feel free 2 not do them but i just think u guys r Neat.

what’s a really niche subject you know a lot about?

if you could learn any five languages instantly, which ones would you pick?

what’s your all-time favourite memory?

what’s the best present you’ve ever received and why?

what’s your go-to comfort meal? 

who do you consider your biggest hero?

is there a character from a fandom you’re not in that you really like?

is there something coming up soon that you’re really looking forward to?

if you could domesticate and have any animal as a pet/equal which animal would you choose and why? 

what shaped your sense of humor? 

[mammon-chan]

whats your opinion on lessons 19 & 20? what do you think happens next?

O K *crackity crack the knuckles* I’VE BEEN SITTING ON THIS ASK FOR LIKE A DAY AND ITS BEEN KILLING ME bc i cant keep my mouth shut. 

also this might be a bit unorganised bc this is just my flow of thoughts from my brain to the keyboard & also im tired and not rlly all here mind-wise (if that makes sense?) so sorry. i may edit this later but prolly not jkgbdjfk

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR 19/20 AHEAD

i felt like something was up at the start of 19-2 when there was the flashing of the backgrounds and then the “months passed.” i was like “ok. this is it, it’s ending soon.” I JUST KNEW. that we were gonna leave. and i was dreading it. then i got further through chapter 19/especially towards the end, and it just confirmed my fear of. it’s gonna end. we’re done here. 

i already kinda thought MC was going to make a pact with lucifer soon, but it would be a more “NO YOU’RE MAKING A PACT WITH M E, MC” because luci’s pride wouldn’t let him belong to someone. what i didn’t expect was the staying up all night part.

i liked how we got the option to be romantic or friendly with each character, b/c i rlly only see a couple characters romantically and the rest are like platonic. so we could hug/kiss whoever and see their reactions. mammon was a huge cutie and was one of the only pure demons of them all when you kissed him!! minus levi, who just thought it was a joke, which i thought was super sad. but if you hug him he’s like omg marry me?? LIKE DUDE PLS. LOVE URSELF :( 

drunk asmo was so cute but made me so sad!! poor baby cried and everything :(( it kinda made me like him more seeing him vulnerable ig? it was rlly cute. satan’s story about the beast and comparing himself to it made me so sad. like babey :(( i love u. and also THE GROWTH OF SATAN LIKE UGH. I LOVE HIMMMM. 

beel was cute!! as always!! and like always worried abt belphie bjgkgf. i highkey love the thought of a beel/mc/belphie poly relationship. like the fact belphie’s intimacy was raised when you said you liked beel was like ??? IM LOVE U. they just want each other to be happy hhhhhhhhhhhhh

ok luci time. here’s,, a hot take. maybe. i don’t like the fact luci was endgame? like oh if u kiss him then u stay up all night doing [REDACTED] but like it’s not the same for the others? and like if you just hug him, then he complains? unlike everyone else. LIKE C’MON DUDE. although i am glad we did make a pact w/ him. i had a rlly bad feeling he was gonna make a pact with solomon/solomon was gonna try get pacts from the other brothers and i was about to kick his ass. 

also when we said goodbye to everyone i genuinely. cried. like so many ugly tears im so upset. 

that’s the end of my,,, review? idfk. 

what do i think will happen next? well. i’m in two minds about it. the first one is that they won’t update with anymore chapters and we’ll just get like a tonne of events like the sleepy nights one we have now and diff gacha/side stories. 

however. after solomon’s ominous asf text, and the fact that there’s still a next button, which, when clicked, says coming soon, means there might be a chance for a season two or something? which? i fuckin’ hope so. 

maybe the demons will come to the human world or something and drag MC back? or like come and visit and some catastrophe will happen. maybeee Diavolo’s daddy will awaken and all hell (lmao) will unleash in the devildom, and they need MC’s help somehow? idk i have so many ideas and they’re prolly all wrong. 

OK PHEW I WROTE A LOT AND I CANT REMEMBER WHAT I WROTE SO LIKE IF U MANAGED TO DECEIPHER/READ ALL THAT THEN THANK U??

i’ve probably forgotten stuff but THATS OKAY. 

also thank u for the question anon it’s a good one but also i can’t speak english, like ever. ♡