#which i will draw the details of at a later point like when i actually get there

[room-surprise]

Yeah I figured it was a reference to a previous ask! I vaguely remembered you getting an ask like this in the past, and wanting to comment on it back then, but not having time LOL so this time I made sure to reblog so I could share my opinion. Sorry, this is going to be long and a bit meandering. I ended up having to look back and forth in the manga for all kinds of references... 😩

I agree that we don't know exactly what happened with Mithrun, the version we see is from Kabru's imagination, and he's summarizing the events - and Mithrun even says that Kabru got various details wrong, so we can assume that we are being presented with the general idea of what happened, minus anything that Kabru thinks is "too complicated" for Laios to understand...

(Based on Kabru's opinion on Laios, this most likely means omitting any complex emotions, relationships, or politics.)

However, Kui also wants to communicate with us efficiently (she is telling a LOT of story VERY quickly), so while things have been simplified, I don't think she's trying to trick us by drawing deceiving things. In other words, I think we are meant to accept most of the story as true, but to be aware that it's more complex than what Kabru tells us.

So in response to that first question asker, I think it's debatable, and that fans disagree on if Mithrun knew or didn't know if his companions in the dungeon were monsters, if they were real people or monsters, if they started as people and got replaced, if some were monsters and some were people all along... and we can't give a certain answer based solely on what we know from the manga or extra materials so far.

The only things I feel comfortable saying definitively is that the snake spouse was not the real person in any way, because there's no way they (Sultha) were in the dungeon, and no way for the demon to bring them into the dungeon, and we know the dungeon only seems capable of using monsters to make fake copies of people, based on the target's knowledge of the person and how they desire them to act. So the snake spouse Mithrun interacted with is just a copy.

I also don't think we can actually say if Mithrun fought his own comrades at any point or not. He might have, he might not. All we do know is that a lot of them died, which Mithrun describes as "being devoured by the dungeon."

It's implied, but not explicitly shown that Milsiril and Helki went into the dungeon with Mithrun's team... and they got out of the dungeon alive, and came back five years later.

(Might be Milsiril on the left side of the image, and in both images they seem to be walking somewhere after passing through a hole in a wall.)

So we know a lot of the original squad died in the dungeon, but we genuinely don't know if all of them died, and when and how those deaths happened.

So then, for my personal opinion about how aware Mithrun is in the dungeon...

I think the demon seduces and ensnares its prey, similar to the psychic succubus mosquitos, or a magic mirror. Kui introduces the demon to us for the first time during the succubus story, and the chapter cover for "Winged Lion" isn't a picture of the winged lion, but instead "monsters that capture your heart", including the succubi and magic mirrors, implying that the demon is also this type of creature.

(There are other types of monsters shown like the nightmares, mimics, mermaids, etc. which I think is an obfuscation tactic in this case, to make what Kui is doing less obvious. She still wants us to think the WL might possibly be a good guy.)

Like the succubi and the mirror, the demon doesn't need to understand your desire, and you don't have to admit to your desire or consent to it, but it will reflect what is inside of you, and its power allows it to give you what you want.

Kui repeatedly associates mirrors with the demon, but never actually has the main cast fight against a mirror monster (I'd guess because she thought it would be redundant).

And from the way the demon keeps trying to give Marcille copies of people (her father, Falin) I think we're meant to understand that the demon prefers to make copies of people: it's easier, and copies will never get in the way by having free will. They'll keep the dungeon lord pacified, which is what the demon needs so it can feed off of them.

As for Mithrun's friends in the dungeon looking "too lively" compared to Marcille's father to be copies or illusions...

They are more lively than Marcille's father, but Marcille's father is only one type of shapeshifting monster, a doppelganger. Not all monsters that imitate humans in Dungeon Meshi do such a bad job of it.

Is that because doppelgangers are bad mimics that don't need to be convincing? Is it because Marcille isn't cooperating with the doppelganger because she doesn't want it around? We don't know but either possibility makes sense.

Mithrun's friends in the dungeon seem well within the capabilities of the shapeshifter (tanuki), the succubi mosquitos, or maybe a mirror. And we know one tanuki can make multiple illusions of four people at the same time, and that some of them are so convincing that people have a hard time telling them apart from their real loved ones.

(Very lively succubi)

(Tanuki shapeshifter copies.)

Kui's also shown us that even the tanuki shapeshifter (which can make incredibly accurate copies) will make poor quality copies if the target doesn't actually know the person they're copying, or doesn't really have an interest in them:

I think the biggest difference between Marcille's doppelganger and Mithrun's friends is Mithrun and Marcille's desires.

Marcille doesn't want her father's copy around, she's resisting the very idea of it existing at all. She knows that it's a copy because she knows her father is dead, that information is deeply rooted in her psyche and not something she can easily forget... She isn't giving the doppelganger octopus more than her most basic memories to play off of. She isn't cooperating.

But the power of the dungeon is so great that she seems to forget her objections eventually and refers to the doppelganger as her father, and gives it a job to do (though she does seem embarrassed about it)... and this all happens within hours of Marcille becoming Dungeon Lord.

Mithrun wants to be where he is, he wants those friends and that lover to be with him, he wants them to love him unconditionally, and never hurt his feelings. He probably doesn't care if they're real or not, his desire is shallow and selfish, he doesn't love any of them, he loves what they can give him and do for him.

In other words, he is giving the dungeon everything it needs to weave a convincing illusion... and if they act "wrong", would he even care? Would he know? How well does he know them? As long as they're giving him what he desires he'll be happy.

Now, again, it's hard to say what exactly happened in the dungeon since Kabru is retelling the story, but Kui is also probably not trying to make things super complicated and hide basic details.

I think it's clear from the art in the manga that Mithrun swings wildly between being in a delusional state as Dungeon Lord, and being aware of what's happening.

Mithrun's dead expression only goes away when he's interacting with things he doesn't want (gold strippers robbing the dungeon).

(I think the unconscious Canary we see in the left panel is probably supposed to be one of Mithrun's "friends" (real or fake), that was knocked unconscious by the gold peelers while attempting to defend the dungeon.)

When the demon begins to eat him, he starts out dead-eyed and confused, but when he realizes something is wrong, his pupils come back and he begins to struggle:

And as a last thought, I'll just add that the only image we really have of Mithrun's friends during his time as the dungeon lord shows them around a table covered with empty plates and no real signs of food or drink.

We know Kui can draw lavish banquets and beautiful food, she can draw plates that have been decimated with only scraps left behind, to indicate that a feast took place. Why did she leave the table so conspicuously empty in this panel?

I think it is supposed to hint that all except for two of the people in that scene don't eat, because they've been replaced. Kui also avoids showing most of their faces, and the one whose face we can see is one of the people with food on his plate...

(He and the Canary next to him are also the only two people at the table who seem to not be focused on Mithrun.)

But again, it's all debatable, and there isn't a concrete answer for sure. It depends on how you read it and what you feel Kui was trying to communicate...

But I think "Mithrun was delusional and not fully aware, and his friends were replaced by copies or died over time" is probably the most accurate way of describing it, based on everything else Kui shows us about the Dungeon Lords.

Personally I agree with you that Mithrun knew his friends were all illusions, and tbh, I think he was very okay with it

About Mithrun vs Marcille on the demon's copies of real-life people: Mithrun's desires were all related to image and self-worth, never the actual people in his dungeon. He didn't necessarily want the real thing - arguably he doesn't even like Sultha since he thought of the real one as "sketchy" - he just wanted the image of her, he wanted the image of being better than his brother, he wanted the image of having friends, etc. I believe that's why he was so okay with the demon making fake copies of his friends. It contrasts Marcille being so against the lion's attempt to make a copy of her dad. She wanted her actual father, so she strongly rejected the copy. But Mithrun didn't necessarily want Sultha, he wanted the image of her and the pride that came with her choosing him over his brother, so he likely didn't care that the demon was just making illusions. I agree with you that he was aware, at least on a subconscious level, that he was just playing pretend.

There's also that quote where it said his desire was to be safe from anyone who could harm him. It's possible that he was a bit afraid/paranoid of the real-life counterparts, and thought the illusion people couldn't possibly hurt him, so he felt safer around the fake people and ended up preferring them. This way he could have his friends and his girlfriend without the constant fear of getting hurt. He could feel wanted and important and loved without being on edge about what they secretly thought of him, or if they secretly wanted to hurt him. That's exactly what he wanted - the illusions fulfilled his desires better than the real counterparts ever could.

I don't really think it's a matter of image, there was nobody there to put on a show for, the show of having friends was before her became a dungeon lord, to me it's more that If you really believe nobody could ever love the real you, fake friends created by the demon is ok

Marcille had a father that truly loved her and friends that she wanted to protect, so it makes sense she was averse to the version made up by the demon at first, from the hints we get Mithrun had nobody he had a real connection with (here exemplified by what he thought of his teamates and the impression Milsiril had of him contrasted with the dungeon)

I don't really understand if other than Sultha the others are real canaries that ended up being driven away just like people were driven away from Thistle, I don't really put it past them to fall for the demon with the promise of a safer life where they don't have to risk their lives only to realize the downwards spiral is inescapable for the dungeon lord.

I don't think it's as important if he "really liked" Sultha or not, I think it's more related to insecurity and fear of rejection, having his brother chosen over him even tho "he's better" (the "perfect youth" image)

Mithrun was thrown away for being a bastard so being faced with the life he could have had probably broke him, I think there's some pride involved too in a twisted way but I read more like something related to "the life I wish I had", envy/jealousy like Milsiril describes. Being able to love and be loved back was never an option especially after joining the canaries

The illusion of this wasn't perfect as we can see, and with the paranoia and everything I doubt he ever really "preferred" the fakes to real life but rather it was all he had?

Idk I'm not good with words hope this made some sense, but even Marcille who said the recreation of her dad was "unnecessary" (quite the underreaction) still kept him around until the others defeated him so I don't really know what it says about Mithrun, maybe if he wasn't imprisoned into the book he could have manipulated Thistle into accepting a fake Delgal too?

[dmitriyuriev]

So, about Douman's beheading scene in Abe no Seimei Monogatari...

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

FYI artists and writers: some info regarding tumblr's new "third-party sharing" (aka selling your content to OpenAI and Midjourney)

You may have already seen the post by @staff regarding third-party sharing and how to opt out. You may have also already seen various news articles discussing the matter.

But here's a little further clarity re some questions I had, and you may too. Caveat: Not all of this is on official tumblr pages, so it's possible things may change.

(1) "I heard they already have access to my data and it doesn't really matter if I opt out"

From the 404 article:

A new FAQ section we reviewed is titled “What happens when you opt out?” states “If you opt out from the start, we will block crawlers from accessing your content by adding your site on a disallowed list. If you change your mind later, we also plan to update any partners about people who newly opt-out and ask that their content be removed from past sources and future training.”

So please, go click that opt-out button.

(2) Some future user: "I've been away from tumblr for months, and I just heard about all this. I didn't opt out before, so does it make a difference anymore?"

Another internal document shows that, on February 23, an employee asked in a staff-only thread, “Do we have assurances that if a user opts out of their data being shared with third parties that our existing data partners will be notified of such a change and remove their data?” Andrew Spittle, Automattic’s head of AI replied: “We will notify existing partners on a regular basis about anyone who's opted out since the last time we provided a list. I want this to be an ongoing process where we regularly advocate for past content to be excluded based on current preferences. We will ask that content be deleted and removed from any future training runs. I believe partners will honor this based on our conversations with them to this point. I don't think they gain much overall by retaining it.”

It should make a difference! Go click that button.

(3) "I opted out, but my art posts have been reblogged by so many people, and I don't know if they all opted out. What does that mean for my stuff?"

This answer is actually on the support page for the toggle:

This option will prevent your blog's content, even when reblogged, from being shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models.

And some further clarification by the COO and a product manager:

zingring: A couple people from work have reached out to let me know that yes, it applies to reblogs of "don't scrape" content. If you opt out, your content is opted out, even in reblog form. cyle: yep, for reblogs, we're taking it so far as "if anybody in the reblog trail has opted out, all of the content in that reblog will be opted out", when a reblog could be scraped/shared.

So not only your reblogged posts, but anyone who contributed in a reblog (such as posts where someone has been inspired to draw fanart of the OP) will presumably be protected by your opt-out. (A good reason to opt out even if you yourself are not a creator.)

Furthermore, if you the OP were offline and didn't know about the opt-out, if someone contributed to a reblog and they are opted out, then your original work is also protected. (Which makes it very tempting to contribute "scrapeable content" now whenever I reblog from an abandoned/disused blog...)

(4) "What about deleted blogs? They can't opt out!"

I was told by someone (not official) that he read "deleted blogs are all opted-out by default". However, he didn't recall the source, and I can't find it, so I can't guarantee that info. If I get more details - like if/when tumblr puts up that FAQ as reported in the 404 article - I will add it here as soon as I can.

Edit, tumblr has updated their help page for the option to opt-out of third-party sharing! It now states:

The content which will not be shared with our licensed network of content and research partners, including those that train AI models, includes: • Posts and reblogs of posts from blogs who have enabled the "Prevent third-party sharing" option. • Posts and reblogs of posts from deleted blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from password-protected blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from explicit blogs. • Posts and reblogs of posts from suspended/deactivated blogs. • Private posts. • Drafts. • Messages. • Asks and submissions which have not been publicly posted. • Post+ subscriber-only posts. • Explicit posts.

So no need to worry about your old deleted blogs that still have reblogs floating around. *\o/*

But for your existing blogs, please use the opt out option. And a reminder of how to opt out, under the cut:

The opt-out toggle is in Blog Settings, and please note you need to do it for each one of your blogs / sideblogs.

On dashboard, the toggle is at https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/blogname [replace "blogname" as applicable] down by Visibility:

For mobile, you need the most recent update of the app. (Android version 33.4.1.100, iOs version 33.4.) Then go to your blog tab (the little person icon), and then the gear icon for Settings, then click Visibility.

Again, if you have a sideblog, go back to the blog tab, switch to it, and go to settings again. Repeat as necessary.

If you do not have access to the newest version of the app for whatever reason, you can also log into tumblr in your mobile browser. Same URL as per desktop above, same location.

Note you do not need to change settings in both desktop and the app, just one is fine.

I hope this helps!

[swampjawn]

Dungeon Meshi episode 21, being heavily dialogue-driven, was pretty straightforward animation-wise and let Ryoko Kui's stunning art speak for itself for the most part, but that doesn't mean that there aren't still some GENERALLY-INSIGNIFICANT-DETAILS-TO-SCRUTINIZE-AT-ARGUABLY-UNNECESSARY-LENGTH.

There was a strong emphasis on hands in this episode, particularly the second half, starting with this cut of Laios resting his on the Minotaur's snout.

The animators have taken this simple little panel (on the right) from the manga (btw, people who know more about this than I do, is there a name for this type of panel, which in film would be called an "insert shot"?)

and turned it into this highly detailed tracking shot that heightens the emotional impact of this moment for Laios. It feels very similar to the shot of Kabru bringing a piece of fish to his mouth that introduced him to the series!

The theme comes up again when Laios does a little bit of blair-witching in the corner after being rejected by house-kitty-pilled Izutsumi,

and once again a few seconds later with this added close-up of Marcille's hand when she tries to read the magical aura of the area.

This one clearly makes heavy use of reference footage, to the point that it almost looks rotoscoped until you notice little details like this line that warps unrealistically at the heel of her palm.

But with smooth, realistic motion like this, little details like that are much less important than the overall feeling of authentic shape and movement. This can be seen in a lot of Masaaki Yuasa's work, which often favors consistent motion and more frames over super polished individual drawings. Here's a thematically appropriate cut from Ping Pong for example:

(This one might actually be rotoscoped, I'm not sure)

If you pause on any individual frame, the lines look wobbly and inconsistent, but it comes together as a whole to create something that feels authentic - real.

The heavy detail in the hand anatomy and the way the skin wrinkles around the knuckles in these cuts feels like a hard departure from Studio TRIGGER's signature heavy stylization, but these realistic cuts have popped up here and there since the start of this show, and I think they fit Dungeon Meshi really well! It can be jarring go straight from wacky bombastic cartoonsmanship to realism, but while it is a show about the hungriest hungriest himbo and his family of weirdos, it's also simultaneously a show about anatomy, ecology, and the horrors of the human mindbrain.

This was expanded from an excerpt from this video where I break down the whole episode, so if you want to continue wallowing in the sludge with me, consider checking out the video!

Thanks for reading.

[linkspooky]

SHIGARAKI VS. YUBEL: HOW TO SAVE YOUR VILLAIN

The failure of Deku to save Shigaraki isn’t just a tragic conclusion for Shigaraki’s arc, it’s also My Hero Academia failing as a story. When I say the story failed, I mean the story has failed to answer any of the questions it asked its audience. It’s themes, character arcs, everything that communicates the meaning of the story to the audience is no longer clear. 

Saving Shigaraki was the central goal of not only the story itself, but the main character Deku. By failing in its goal you can’t call this a good ending. In order to illustrate why this goal of saving the villain is so important to both Deku’s character and the central idea of MHA, I’m going to provide a positive example in Yu-Gi-Oh GX were the main character Judai successfully saves their villain.  One of these stories fails, and the other succeeds. I will illustrate why under the cut. 

BROKEN THEMES = BROKEN STORY

When artists draw they have to consider things like perspective, anatomy, shading, light, coloring. Drawing has rules, and it’s hard to produce good art without knowing these rules beforehand. If I draw something that has bad anatomy, you can criticize me for that. 

Writing has rules, just like drawing. The rules of storytelling are important because writing is an act of communication. You can write whatever you want, just like how you can draw whatever you want, but if you break the rules the audience won’t understand what you are trying to communicate. 

When I refer to MHA as a broken story, I am referring to the fact that it has broken the rules of storytelling. As this youtuber explains.

“I guess we should first define what broke and broken even means in this context. Has the story turned into an unintelligible mess? Not really. Value judgements aside, the narrative is still functional and fulfills the criteria of being a story. So how can a story that still functions be broken? Maybe to you it cannot. But to me a story that is still functional isn’t enough. What I mean when I say MHA is broken is that it’s lost something crucial. A codifying style of structure, pacing and payoff that until a certain point was the core of its identity.” 

I could launch into a long-winded explanation of what themes are, but for the sake of simplicity I like to define themes in terms of “Ask, and answer.” The author asks a question to the audience, and then by the end of the story provides an answer. The audience is also invited to come up with their own answer which prompts them to think about the story on a deeper level.  The question both MHA and GX are asking both its main characters and the audience is “Can you save the villain?” with the additional complicated question of “Should you save the villain?”  This post will detail how both stories go about answering those two questions, and more importantly why those answers matter for the story. 

With Great Power… You know the rest. 

My Hero Academia and Yu-Gi-Oh Gx are actually similar stories once you get past their superficial differences. MHA is a story with way better worldbuilding, compared to a society where everything revolves around the trading card game, and people go to school to be better at a trading card game. 

However, if you get past that. They are both bildungsroman, stories about the main characters growing up into adults. They both have an academy setting where the goal is for the main character to graduate and enter the adult world. They are both shonen manga. GX is the sequel of Yu-Gi-Oh a manga that ran in Shonen Jump the exact same magazine as MHA.  The biggest point of comparison is their main characters, who both start out as young and naive who are driven by their admiration of heroes. Deku is a fan of All Might who wants to become a hero despite not having a quirk, because he loves All might who saves everyone with a smile. Judai’s entire deck archetype revolves around “Elemental Heroes’ and later “Neo-Spacians” who are all based on popular sentai heroes like ultraman. 

The central arc for both characters is to grow up. Growing up for both of them not only requires figuring out what kind of adult they want to be, but also what kind of hero they want to be. 

Now I’m going to drastically oversimplify what a character arc is. 

A character arc first starts out with the character being wrong. Being wrong is essential because if the character is right from the beginning, then there’s no point in telling the story. A character often holds the wrong idea about the world, or has some sort of flaw that hinders their growth.  The narrative then needs to challenge them on that flaw. It usually sets up some kind of goal or win condition. That flaw gets in the way of a character “winning” or achieving their goal, so they need to fix that flaw first. If their ideals are wrong, then they need to think about what the right ideals are. If they’re too childish, they need to grow up. If they have unhealthy behaviors or coping mechanisms, they need to unlearn it and require better ones. Otherwise, that flaw will keep sabotaging them until the end. 

I’m borrowing the word “win condition” from class1akids here because it’s an incredibly appropriate terminology. Midoriya needs to do “x” in order to win, otherwise this victory doesn’t feel earned. The “x” in this case is usually character development. As I said before, a story where the main character hasn’t changed from beginning to end feels pointless. Especially in Deku’s case, he was already a brave, strong hero who would charge right into battle and defeat the bad guys in chapter one, so him defeating Shigaraki in a fist fight doesn’t represent a change. 

The story sets up not only “What does the hero need to do to win?” but also “How does the hero need to change in order to win?” A character either meets these requirements before the end of the story, or they don’t and usually this results in a negative ending. 

MHA in its first half quite clearly set up both the final conflict of saving the villains, and also that saving the villains is its “win conditions.”  The hero shouldn't be allowed to win without first fixing this flaw.

From this panel onward the central question Deku is forced to answer shifts from “Am I strong enough to defeat ShigarakI” to “Can I save Shigaraki?” However, much earlier than that All Might goes on to basically set up the win conditions of what makes the ultimate hero as someone who “Saves by winning, and wins by saving.”

All might: You can become the ultimate heroes. Ones who save by winning, and win by saving.

Therefore the story has set it’s criteria for what kind of hero Deku needs to become. If he wins without saving, then he’s failed to become what the series has set up as the Ultimate Hero. 

Shigaraki and Yubel aren’t just narrative obstacles, or boss monsters to be killed like in a video game. They are narrative challenges, which means that the character can’t grow in any way if they don’t answer the challenge presented by the characters. They are villains who actively resist being saved, to provide a challenge for two heroes who define their heroism by saving others. The challenge they pose adds a third question to the story and the main characters. 

"Can I save the villain?"

"Should I save the villain?"

"If I don't save the villain, then can I really call myself a hero?"

In other words the decision they make in saving, or not saving their final antagonist defines what kind of hero they are. In Deku’s case it’s even more critical he defines what hero he wants to be because the MHA is also a generational story, and several of the kids are asked to prove how exactly this generation of heroes is going to surpass the last one. The kids growing physically stronger than the last generation isn’t a satisfactory answer, Deku getting strong enough to punch Shigaraki hard is not a satisfactory answer, because we are reading a story and not watching a boxing match. 

I’m going to focus on the last two questions though for a moment. Many people who argue against saving villains like Shigaraki argue he is a mass murderer and therefore isn’t worthy of salvation. However, the act of saving Shigaraki isn’t a reflection of Shigaraki himself, but rather the kind of hero Deku wants to be. It all boils down to Spiderman. In the opening issue of Spiderman, teenage Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider and suddenly gains super strength, the ability to stick to walls along with other powers. However, being a teenager he uses these powers selfishly at first. He doesn’t feel the obligation to use his powers for other people, and therefore when he sees a robbery happening right in front of him he lets the robber go. However, because he lets the robber go, the robber then attempts to hijack a car and kills his Uncle Ben in the process. If Spiderman had stopped the robber then he might have prevented that from happening. He had the power to stop the robber, but he didn’t feel responsible or obligated to save other people. As a result Uncle Ben dies. It’s not enough to have power, ti’s how you use that power that reflects who you are, therefore: “with great power comes great responsibility.” 

The choice to save Shigaraki actually has little to do with whether or not Shigaraki is redeemable, but rather how Deku chooses to use his power, and what he thinks he is responsible for reflects who Deku is as a person.  Deku himself also clearly outlines how he wants to use his power, that One for All is a power for saving, and not killing. 

How he uses his power reflects Deku’s ideal in saving others, and therefore if he doesnt use his power to save, then he’s failed to live up to his ideals. It's not whether it's morally right to save a murderer like Shigaraki, but rather the way Deku wants to choose to use his power. It's about whether he feels the responsibility to save others.

Judai explores an incredibly similar arc to Deku. They are basically both asked what kind of responsibilities a hero is supposed to have, which is also a metaphor for growing up to handle the responsibilities of adulthood. As both characters start out with incredibly naive and childish ideas about what a hero is. Therefore realizing what a hero is responsible for is key to them growing as a character.  However, Judai is different from Deku. In some ways he’s more like Bakugo. Judai is a prodigy who’s naturally good at dueling. He doesn’t duel to save others, but rather because duels are fun and he’s good at it. He’s very much like Bakugo, who admired All Might as a hero just as much as Deku did, but admired the fact that he was strong and always won rather than he saved others. 

However, I would say both Deku and Judai are questioning what a hero is responsible for. They are both asking if they have the responsibility to use their power to save others. If they have to fight for other people, just because they have power. His first big challenge as a character comes from Edo Phoenix, who calls out Judai for not thinking through what it means to be a hero, and what responsibilities heroes carry. Judai duels because he thinks it’s fun. He will show up to duel to help his friends, but that’s because he’s the most powerful person in the group. Even then it’s because he finds fighting strong opponents to be enjoyable. Bakugo will beat up a villain, but for him it’s more about winning then if the action will save someone or not. 

Judai is more often than not pushed into the role of being a hero, he doesn’t play the hero because he’s a particularly selfless person, and he’ll often avoid responsibility if not forced. He has power but no sense of responsibility and the narrative calls them out as a problem. 

Edo: Can you even fathom that, Judai?

For Judai, he can’t understand the responsibility of being a hero. For Deku, he idealizes heroes so much he can’t understand that there are people out there the heroes have failed to save. These two callouts towards Deku and Judai are discussing similar because they’re both discussing where a hero’s responsibilities lie. Is a hero responsible for saving everyone? Is someone strong like Judai responsible for using their strength to help other people? 

Judai’s arc continues into the third season where he’s not shown to just be naive but ignorant. He’s not just childish, he actively resists growing up because he doesn’t want to take on adult responsibilities. 

THe same way that Deku just decides not to think about whether or not All Might failed to save people in the panels above. However, in Judai's case he's actively called out for his choice to remain ignorant.

Satou: Now, which one is at fault? Judai: Isn’t it the guy who saw it, but didn’t pick it up. Satou: Not quite. If one is aware of the trash that fell, it may be picked up someday. But there is no possibility fo the unaware one ever picking it up. Judai-kun you are the foolish one unaware of the trash that has fallen. Judai: Are you calling me out for how I am? Satou: Your behavior towards me was atrocious. The worst was attending class only for credit, even if you were there you only slept. Judai: Yeah, I know. I was all bad, but it wasn’t that big a- Satou: It is important. You see, one by one, the students inspired by your attitude were losing their motivation. Now if you were a mediocre duelist, then this would not be an issue. Satou: However, you are the same hero who defeated the three mythic demons. Every single student in the academy admires you. You should have been a model for this academy. Judai: Me, a role model? Are you kidding? I just do whatever I feel like doing. Satou: Great power comes with great responsibility. Yet, as you remain unaware of that, you’ve spread your lethargy and self-indulgence. 

seems like a minor issue, but look how Judai responds to the accusations. “I just do whatever I feel like doing.” Satou is arguing that Judai should pay attention to the influence he has on others because of his power, because how he chooses to use that power affects others. However, Judai chooses to actively not look at the consequences of his actions because he doesn’t want to take on that level of responsibility, and therefore he’s looking away from the trash. 

While it seems like it doesn’t matter in Satou’s specific example, not thinking of the consequences, or how you use your power can have unexpected consequences. Spiderman doesn’t feel like it’s his responsibility to stop a bank robber, and that bank robber shoots his uncle. You could still argue it’s not Spiderman’s responsibility to stop every crime in the world, and I guess no one owes anyone anything from that point of view - but Spiderman failing to act responsibility had the consequence of directly hurting someone else. 

Spiderman has to live with that consequence because it was his own Uncle that was hurt. This is where we really reach the duality of Judai. 

In GX, Judai is, symbolically speaking, The Fool of the Tarot Deck, the Novice Alchemist — a person brimming with infinite potential, yet one who is also supremely ignorant, who walks forward with his eyes closed and often unknowingly causes harm in his great ignorance. In this, he is very much the embodiment of the faults we most commonly associate with teenagers — selfishness, recklessness, shallowness, a lack of dedication or empathy when it’s most needed. Like most people, he has good traits that work to balance out some of the above, but his narrative path through GX ends up being that of the flawed hero undone by his faults — and then that of the atoner, the repentant sinner. In his case, the mistakes of his teenage years are the catalyst for his growth from a boy into a man burdened with duty and purpose.  Judai is someone with infinite potential, with great power, but also ignorant on how he should use that power, and that makes him an incredibly flawed hero who needs to learn how that power should be used. 

Deku similarly exists in a society where heroes deliberately turn a blind eye to the suffering of a certain type of victim. Shigaraki’s speech heavily resmebles Satou’s speech about garbage on the side of the road. 

Shigarali: "For generations you pretended not to see those you coudln't protect and swept their pain under the rug. It's tainted everything you've built."

Deku shares Judai’s ignorance, because he’s not only a part of a system that doesn’t even see trash on the side of the road, but he also worships heroes so much that he’s incapable of criticizing them. If Deku saw the flaws of heroes, but at first didn’t have the courage to speak out, but eventually gained the courage that would be one thing. However, if he doesn’t see the flaws of heroes, then the problem will never be fixed. 

There are also consequences for both Judai and Deku failing to use their powers responsibly. These consequences take the form of the villains who came about because of all of society’s ignorance to the suffering of victims (Shigaraki) and because of the main character’s ignorance to their suffering (Yubel). Shigaraki and Yubel are also explicitly victims that the heroes failed to save, turned into villains who are active threats to the heroes. 

Should I save the villain?

The answer is yes, because the decision to save is reflective of the kind of hero each character wants to be. Each story clearly sets up that Deku and Judai aren’t punisher style heroes who shoot their villains, they are being set up as heroes who save. Deku needs to “save by winning.” As for Judai, a big deal is made of Judai’s admiration for another character Johan who represents a more idealistic kind of hero. Johan unlike Judai is someone who duels with a purpose, something Judai outright says he admires because he’s empty in comparison. 

Judai: Johan what have you been dueling for? See, it’s about fun for me… Well, for the surprise and happiness too. I guess I do do it for the fun. Sorry, I guess I put you on the spot by asking out of nowhere. Johan: What’s this about Judai? Judai: It’s nothing. Johan: I suppose there is one goal I have. Johan: Even if someone doesn’t have the power to see spirits, they can still form a bond with a spirit. That’s why I do it for people like him. [...] Johan: I'll fight for everyone who believes in me, and I'll do it with my Duel Monsters. Judai: I'm jealous you've got feelings like those in you.

Becoming a hero who uses their power to help others isn’t just a goal the story sets for Judai, it’s a goal that Judai sets for himself because of his admiration for Johan. Johan represents the idealistic hero Judai wants to be, but is also held back from because of his personality flaws. Johan represents the kind of heroic ideal that Deku is aspiring to be. 

Johan’s ultimate goal isn’t punishing the wicked, but to use his power to save others. 

Johan: Judai, it was my dream to save everyone through my dueling!

The story sets up the idea that it’s not enough for Judai to simply be strong, he’s also challenged to become a savior who uses his power to help others like Johan. Deku needs to “save by winning” and Judai needs to “Save everyone through his dueling.” However, Johan also adds another condition to what saving means. His idea of saving isn’t to defeat a villain, but rather his dream is to help connect spirits and humans together, even if there are humans who can’t see spirits. Johan doesn’t save people with the power of physical force, but rather the power of human connection. 

Should I save the villain?

Here the answer is "Yes",  because wants to become more like Johan someone who uses their power to help others not just for themselves.  Then we reach the third question

If I don't save the villain, can I really call myself a hero?

It once again comes to power and responsibility. Heroes have great power, and they are responsible in how they use that power, if they use it irresponsibly then there are consequences. Shigaraki wants to destroy hero society, because the heroes irresponsibly use their power to turn a blind eye to everyone’s suffering. 

People suffer when heroes fail to live up to their responsibilities. The entire conflict of season 3 is created by Judai failing to save Yubel. If Judai had helped Yubel when they most needed it, instead of abandoning them, then Yubel would never have been twisted by the light of destruction, would never have attempted to teleport the school to another dimension, would never have attacked all of JUdai’s friends. 

These consequences matter. Deku can turn his eyes away from Shigaraki’s suffering, but let’s say a hero failed to stop a robbery, or rather he didn’t even try, and because of that his mom was shot and died in the street. Would Deku consider the man who failed to stop a bank robbery a hero? When Spiderman let a bank robber go instead of trying to stop him, was he being a hero in that moment? Both the stories and the characters themselves have defined heroes as people who use their powers to save others, therefore if Judai and Yubel fail to save their villains then they can’t be called heroes by the story’s own definition. Now let’s finally return to the question of "Can I save the villain?"

Was there ever someone you couldn’t save?

m going to start with Yu-Gi-Oh Gx as a positive example of how to save your villain. Gx works for two reasons. One, it’s established from the start that Yubel isn’t beyond salvation, and two, it makes it so Judai can’t win without saving Yubel. The conflict of the story does not end until Judai makes the decision to save Yubel.  In some ways the writing is even stronger because Judai is directly responsible for the pain and suffering that Yubel went through that turned them into a villain in the first place. Yubel isn’t just a victim, they’re specifically Judai’s victim. 

Yubel is a duel spirit who is also essentially Judai’s childhood friend. A duel spirit just like the kind that Johan wants to save. During their childhood Yubel got too overprotective of Judai, and started to curse his friends for making him cry or upsetting him in any way. Until everyone Judai’s age started avoiding him and Judai became all alone with only Yubel for company. Judai’s decision was to abandon Yubel at that time. He took the yubel card and shot them into space, hoping that being bathed in space rays will somehow “fix” what was wrong with them. I know that’s silly but just go with it. Judai abandoning Yubel had the unintended consequence of Yubel being subjected to the light of destruction, a corrupting light that subjected Yubel to years of pain. This pain literally takes the form of Yubel burning alive.

Yubel connected to his dreams called out for Judai every night, only for Judai’s parents to give him surgery that repressed his memories of Yubel causing him to forget them entirely. Yubel then spent the next ten years alone in space, continuously subjected to painful torture, with their cries for help being ignored. 

"I was suffering even as you came to forget about me..."

Yubel is then met with the question of how can Judai treat them this way if they loved him so much? As from Yubel’s perspective, they’ve only ever tried to protect Judai, only for Judai to not only throw them away, but subject them to painful torture and ignore their cries for help. Judai effectively moves on with his life, goes to duel academy, makes friends while Yubel is left to suffer in silence all but forgotten. This is where Judai’s ignorance has serious plot consequences. 

It’s not just the pain that Yubel endured that made them snap. It’s that their pain went ignored. 

Yubel holds out the faint hope that Judai will answer their calls fro help until they finally burn up upon re-entry into earth’s orbit. At which point they’re left as nothing more than a single hand crawling on the ground.  Yubel who cannot fathom why Judai would cause them so much pain, and then forget about them, convinces themselves that Judai must be causing them pain, BECAUSE he loves them.

But you see, I couldn't possibly forget about you in the time that I've suffered...

Judai is allowed to move on with his life, to make friends, to spend the next ten years doing so while Yubel is subjected to ten years of agony. When they finally escape their painful torment, they see all the friends Judai has made while they’re left alone and forgotten. However, Yubel’s goal isn’t revenge. Rather, it’s to make Judai share and recognize their pain. WHich is why I said it’s not the fact that they were made to suffer, but their suffering is ignored. Yubel’s entire philosophy revolves around the idea that sharing pain is an expression of love, and that they and Judai share their love for each other by hurting each other. 

"That's why I sought to fill all those linked to you, your world, with both sadness and anguish..."

For Yubel, making all of Judai’s friends suffer and Judai themselves suffer is a way of making them and Judai equals again. They want to show “their love” for Judai, but it’s more about forcing Judai to recognize the pain he’s caused them by forcing him through the same pain. Yubel’s philosophy of sharing pain is actually a twisted form of empathy. 

They’re not entirely wrong either, that even people who love each other can cause each other pain, and that if one person is suffering alone in a relationship or the suffering is one-sided then there’s something wrong with that relationship. 

Yubel: I get it now… You weren’t in love, with Echo. Yubel: No.. you may have loved her just enough to clear the conditions in palace for you to control Exodia, but the you didn’t truly love each other. Yubel: You were only unfairly hurting her, while you stayed unharmed. You wouldn’t suffer. You wouldn’t suffer. You wouldn’t be in pain. Amon: What are you getting at? Yubel: I’ve been hurt! I’ve suffered! I’ve been in pain. That’s why I’m making JUdai feel the same things I did! 

Yubel’s twisted theory of love, is a pretty thinly veiled cry for empathy.

They break out into tears when talking to Amon about the way they’ve hurt and suffered. They clearly state upfront that their goal is for Judai to recognize their love. One of the first things they say to Judai is a plea for Judai to remember them.

Yubel is presented as a very human character suffering through a lot of pain throughout their entire villai arc, they break down into tears multiple times, they cry out in agony, they're visibly suffering and you see their mental walls begin to break down when Judai denies them any empathy.

Yubel is actually incredibly clear and straightforward about their desire to be saved by Judai. However, Judai doesn’t lift a single finger to help Yubel the entire arc, even though they themselves admit they are directly responsible for Yubel’s suffering but they helped create who they are today. 

Judai plunges into a different dimension and gives up everything to save someone, but it’s Johan, not Yubel they try to save. You have Johan, the perfect friend, and perfect victim that Judai gets obsessed over and will not stop at anything to save, and then you have Yubel, the imperfect victim that is actively harming Judai and all of his friends that Judai chooses to ignore. The whole season Judai only focuses on saving the perfect victim Johan, and this is clearly shown to be a flaw. Judai doesn’t just ignore Yubel to save Johan, he also ignores every single one of his friends. 

Judai only caring about saving Johan, and deliberately ignoring and abandoning the friends who came with him to help, essentially abandoning them the way he did Yubel leads to another consequence. After he abandons them they get captured, rounded up, and actually die and become human sacrifices. 

Losing his friends, causes Judai to snap. Judai becomes the supreme king and decides power is all that matters; he starts killing duel spirits en masse in order to forge the super polymerization card.  Which means being left alone, suffering alone, being abandoned by everyone causes Judai to snap the exact same way that Yubel did. 

In fact Judai is only saved from his darkest moment, because two of his friends sacrifice their lives, trying to get through to him and appeal to his humanity. At that point Judai’s friends could have just chosen to put him down like a mad dog, to punish him for the amount of people he’s killed, but instead they try to save him because of their friendship. 

I just want to save my friend. That is all.

By the time Judai is facing Yubel in their final fight, Judai doesn’t have the moral highground against Yubel in any way whatsoever. They’ve both lashed out because of the pain they endured and killed countless people in the process of lashing out.  The only real difference between them is that Judai is lucky. He had friends to support him at his lowest point, while Yubel didn’t. Does Judai learn from Jim’s example, and go out of their way to save Yubel the same way they were saved because Yubel is still a friend? Nope, Judai tries to kill Yubel at this point. 

I made a lot of friends... And they all taught me something… real love is wide enough, large enough and deep enough to fill the universe. Your so-called love is only a conceited delusion.

Like, Judai, sweetie baby honey darling. How was Yubel supposed to make friends when they were floating in the empty void of space?

Judai hasn’t learned, they are still ignorant, and still turn a blind eye to Yubel’s suffering. After all if his love is wide enough, large enough,and deep enough to fill the universe then why don’t thy have any room in their heart whatsoever for empathizing with Yubel?

Judai making friends while Yubel was trapped in space doesn’t make Judai a better person than Yubel, it makes Judai lucky. Judai doesn’t even appreciate that luck, because he treats his friends like garbage. It’s not about whether Yubel is worthy of salvation, because Judai is a mass murderer and his friends still went to great lengths to save them anyway. It’s that Judai doesn’t want to empathize with Yubel, because they still want to remain ignorant and irresponsible. Judai wants to continue playing hero, with a very black and white definition of what a hero is. By this point Judai’s killed lots of people, but if he makes Yubel the villain in the situation, he can keep playing hero. He doesn’t have to look at himself and what he’s done, because blaming everything that happened on Yubel and then putting Yubel down like a mad dog allows Judai to absolve his own guilt. Judai practically ignores Yubel’s cries for help, even when Yubel spells it out for them.

I couldn't have lived with the heartache unless I felt that I was being loved...

At this point Yubel themselves acknowledges that their love was just a delusion. That it was a coping mechanism, because they couldn’t live with all the pain otherwise. WIthout it they would have just died, which makes Judai unmoved. The implication here is that Judai thinks yes, Yubel should have just died in that crater. It would have been easier for Yubel to die a perfect victim, then for Yubel to crawl out of that crater and go on to hurt other people. While that may be true the same can be said for Judai - it would have been better if Judai died rather than become the Supreme King. His friends could have put him down like a mad dog, you could have even called that justice - but they didn’t. Judai making no attempt to save Yubel isn’t because he thinks it’s morally wrong to save someone who’s killed as many people as Yubel has, or because he thinks he can’t forgive Yubel, it’s because Judai is taking the easy way out. Johan is a nice, easy victim to save, because he’s Judai’s perfect boyfriend, while Yubel is a complex victim that requires Judai to understand their suffering. Even the act of saving Johan isn’t about Johan himself, it’s about the fact that Judai feels guilt over Johan’s disappearance. What Judai wants isn’t really to save a friend, but to stop feeling guilty over that friend. Judai isn’t just disgusted by Yubel’s actions towards his friend, he also wants to avoid the guilt he feels over causing all of Yubel’s suffering, because it requires acknowledging the complex reality that he is both victim and perpretrator in this case, just as Yubel is both victim and perpetrator. 

So how can an arc where Judai doesn’t try to save Yubel until the last possible minute, be better than an arc where Deku makes it his goal for the final act of the manga to save the crying boy in Shigaraki? 

It’s because the story does not let Judai get away with his continual refusal to empathize with Yubel. Yubel’s entire character revolves around empathy, in the form of sharing pain. As a duel monster, Yubel’s effect is that they are a 0/0 attack monster who is immune to all damage, but when you attack them they deal all the damage back to you. Which means that Yubel will respond to all the pain they feel, by causing you just as much pain in return. Yubel is not a character who can be defeated in a fight, or a duel. In fact they’re the only Yu-Gi-Oh villain who never loses a duel once. The most Judai can do is duel them to a draw, and they draw three times. Yubel wins against everyone else who challenges them.  In a way Yubel is like Shigaraki, the ultimate, unkillable enemy that can’t be done away with violence. Judai’s refusal to empathize with Yubel or attempt communication also makes them worse, every time Yubel is hurt they escalate. THe more Judai hurts them, the more they will hurt in return, it’s a cycle that will never be broken simply by killing Yubel, because Yubel is unkillable. 

Not only that but the story has gone to great lengths to show that saving Yubel is the correct course of action. If Judai doesn’t save Yubel, he’s basically spitting on the selflessness Jim showed in saving him. In fact if he doesn’t save Yubel, Judai is contradicting his own words on what makes a good friend. Sho once asks Judai after witnessing his brother change, what he should do if a person you lov ehas changed into an entirely different person. What if they're a person you don't even recognize any more? A person you don’t even necessarily like anymore? 

That's why if it were me. I'd probably just be looking after him until the very end, even if I didn't like him. I'd do it cause I think it'd prove that I care about him.

Judai doesn't even say that Sho is obligated to save his brother or morally redeem him, just that he has to keep looking at him instead of turning away or ignoring him.

Judai is being a bad friend, by his own definition. By choosing to deliberately look away from Yubel, Judai’s not living up to his advice for Sho for how you treat people you care about. 

Which is why the resolution for Judai and Yubel’s arc is so important, because it’s done by Judai finally acknowledging Yubel’s pain, and promising to watch over them from now on, words that are followed by the action of physically fusing their souls together so they’ll never be alone again.  Judai doesn’t just say pretty words about how they won’t ignore the crying child inside of Yubel, but instead he makes a sacrifice to save Yubel at risk to themselves to show their words are backed up by actions. Judai says Yubel will never be alone again, and then he commits. 

"And even if that means I won't exist anymore... I don't care."

Judai has resolved his character arc by this action, because Judai is finally taking on responsibility and that responsibility is watching over Yubel, so the two of them can atone together. Judai even says himself this isn’t an act of sacrifice on his part, but rather him finally accepting adult responsibilities. 

Judai: I wouldn't sacrifice myself for you guys. I'm just going on a journey to grow from a kid into a man.

Judai needed to save Yubel to complete his character arc and grow as a person. If Judai hadn’t saved Yubel, he would have still remained an ignorant child. By learning not to turn a blind eye to Yubel’s pain, and also smacking sacrifices and physically doing something to atone for the way they ignored Yubel up until this point they’ve not only saved Yubel they’ve also done something to address their wrongs. This also continues into the fourth season where Judai’s personal growth results in him learning what kind of hero he wants to be as in Season 4 in order to atone for the spirits that Judai slaughtered, he decides to leave his friends behind and walk the earth with Yubel helping spirits and humans get along with each other. In fact Judai’s final speech as a character isn’t even about how strong he is as a hero, but how weak he is as a person.

And I put my friends through some rough times. Form that, I figured a few things out... all I can do is believe in them.

The lesson Judai learned is because he’s weak, he needs to empathize and believe in other people the same way that his friends once believed in him when he was at his lowest point. Judai’s not the strongest hero, he’s the weakest one, but that gives him the ability to empathize with people who were lost just like he was, and guide them back from the darkness. 

The story of how Deku became the worst hero.

I’m going to say this right now it might turn out next week that Shigaraki is just fine, and he’ll use the overhaul quirk to reconstruct his body. However, even if that happens Deku has completely failed at his goal of saving Shigaraki for the reasons I’ll illustrate below. In theory, Deku’s arc of saving Shigaraki, and therefore winning by saving should be much easier for the story to accomplish and also much less frustrating to watch. After all, Shigaraki has been around since the beginning of the manga, he’s literally the first villain that Deku faces. He’s also the first villain that Deku talks to, where he brings up the idea that there were some people All Might failed to save. There’s also many intentional parallels between the two characters, the entire manga is about their parallel journeys of becoming the next generation hero and the next generation villain. Shigaraki even directly quotes the line at one point that all he wanted was for someone in his house to tell him he could still be a hero, the same line Deku said in the first chapter was that he wanted his mom to tell him to be a hero instead of apoalogizing to him for being quirkless. 

Not only is the setup for Shigaraki and Deku made obvious (Deku can redeem Shigaraki by telling him that he can still be a hero too), but Deku himself states out loud that he wants to save the crying child inside of Shigaraki. 

Judai runs away from Yubel the whole time, whereas Deku is running towards Shigaraki and actively makes it his goal to understand Shigaraki and continue to see him as a human being rather than a villain.  The story also makes it clear that saving Shigaraki is necessary to saving hero society as a whole. After all Yubel is just Judai’s victim. Whereas Shigaraki is the victim of all of society. He’s the crying child who was ignored. The cycle won’t be broken if heroes continue choosing to ignore people like Shigaraki, because more victims will grow up to replace him. 

Shigaraki: Everything I've witnessed, this whole system you've built has always rejected me. Now I'm ready to reject it. That's why I destroy. That's why I took this power formyself? Simple enough, yeah? I don't care if you don't understand. That's what makes us heroes and villains.

Shigaraki rejects the world because the world continues to reject him. THe solution to this problem is not rejecting Shigaraki, because Shigaraki won’t go away, the system will just continue to reject people like Shigaraki. As long as heroes and villains don’t understand each other, they’ll keep being forced to fight and the conflict won’t end, because hero society is what engineers it’s own villains.

clear as day by the story itself. If the objective of saving Shigaraki is clear, then how exactly did the story fail in this objective? What went wrong? In this case it’s a failure of framing, and breaking the rules of “show don’t tell.” Stories are all about actions and consequences. When a character makes a certain action in a story, the way other characters around them, the world, and whatever consequences that action frames that action in a certain light. It provides context for how we are supposed to interpret that character in that moment. 

For example, when a character does something wrong and another character directly confronts them over what they did wrong, that frames them as in the wrong. The story is criticizing the character for what they did wrong. Context is everything in a story. Stories are just ideas, so they require framing and context to communicate those ideas for the audience. Certain character attributes can be strengths or flaws depending on the context. My go to example is that if you put Othello in Hamlet, the conflict would be resolved in five seconds because Othello’s straightforward personality and determination would have him kill Hamlet’s uncle without questioning things. Whereas, Hamlet constantly questioning and second guessing himself would lead to the worst ending possible. However, if you put Hamlet in Othello, then Hamlet wouldn’t fall prey to Iago’s manipulations, because Othello doubts and questions everything so he wouldn’t believe Iago the way Othello did. 

Hamlet’s contemplative and introverted nature can be a strength in one situation, and a flaw in another. Othello’s tendency to act without thinking things through can be a strength in one situation, and a flaw in another. Context matters, because context tells you how you’re supposed to interpret a certain characters actions, and therefore tells you more about that character. This is why people repeat “Show don’t tell” as the golden rule of storytelling, it’s one thing to say something about a character, it’s another to us the characters actions in the story itself to show them something about the character. 

What’s even worse then breaking the rules of show don’t tell however, is telling the audience one thing, and then going onto show in the narrative something completely different. In that case the narrative becomes muddled and confusing to read. If I the narrator say “Hamlet is someone who overthinks everything” and then in the story Hamlet walks up to his uncle and kills him with no hesitation, then the narrator is straight up unreliable. It becomes impossible to tell as an author what message I’m trying to get across about these characters, because I’m telling you one thing and showing another. 

This is why the writing fails in the second half of My Hero Academia because we are constantly told one thing, but then the story shows something entirely different and sometimes even contradictory to the thing we are being told. 

Judai is a much worse hero than Deku, he always runs away from Yubel, and we’re never directly told that he’s supposed to save Yubel either. However, the narrative is incredibly consistent. Judai’s behavior of running away is consistent with his character. All the other character call Judai selfish for abandoning his friends (and they’re not even talking about Yubel). Judai is never painted in any positive light for his actions, therefore we as the audience understand Judai’s behavior is wrong and he needs to fix it. The narrative makes it clear that Judai needs to grow up, and Judai is never rewarded for his refusal to grow up, he’s ruthlessly chewed out, not by his enemies but also by his own friends. However, the narrative isn’t merciless on him either. Season 3 of GX is dark, but it’s not grimdark. Even when Judai loses his way, he’s still shown love and compassion by those same friends who go to great lengths for his sake. The narrative criticize Judai but it never insists that he’s beyond redemption and needs to be put down like a mad dog. 

The message is very clear, that not only does Judai need to grow up, but he also deserves the chance to grow and change, which is why he should give Yubel a similar chance. In comparison the story sets out this clear narrative arc for Deku of understanding Shigaraki, but it never challenges him for failing to understand Shigaraki. If you listen to what the narrative says, how other characters describe Deku, and what Deku himself says and only read it on a surface level then yes, Deku’s goal is to save Shigaraki. If you analyze actions however, he is in effect just like Judai he never takes any meaningful action or steps towards Shigaraki, nor does he think of what saving Shigaraki might look like or entail. 

The story describes Deku as someone who is possessed by a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding, but does the story give us any examples of that behavior?

Judai is characterized as a selfish, irresponsible child, and the story gives us countless examples of his immaturity and how it hurts others. Does the story of MHA do the same for Deku's purported virtues? Let’s run through Deku’s actions, step by step, the actions themselves and how they are framed in order to find any evidence that Deku possesses this drive to save others. Does Deku reflect at all on the question of:

Can Shigaraki be Saved?

Deku leaves on a journey to try to understand villains. When he makes a perfunctory attempt to understand and empathize with Muscle, and Muscle replies that some people are just evil does Deku keep trying to reach his heart? Nope, he just punches him. 

Well, if he’s failed in his goal of understanding a villain then does the story call him out on his failure? Does Deku face any sort of narrative consequence for that failure? Is he framed negatively for failing to understand Muscle, the same way that Judai is framed for abandoning Yubel? Nope. Deku doesn’t express any frustration at all over is inability to reason with Muscle. There’s also no negative consequence for Deku just choosing to punch muscle, it turns out that there was no reasoning with Muscle and some people are just bad eggs so Deku was right. It’s okay for characters to fail, but if a character fails and it’s not framed by the story as a failure then the writing itself as failed. Why even bother to include this scene in the first place if it doesn’t advance Deku’s character in any way? This scene in spite of showing Deku failing to understand someone actively paints Deku in a positive light, because of how much stronger he is ow that he can OHKO a guy that gave him trouble all the way back in the camp arc.

This scene doesn’t tell anything about Deku as a character, it just makes him look cool. In fact that’s precisely the problem, Deku isn’t adequately challenged as a character, because he’s never allowed to fail. Even when he does obviously fail at the things the narrative set out for him to do, he’s never challenged on those failures, because the priority isn’t to make Deku grow, it’s to make Deku look good.  As I said before, Judai is the hero because he’s the weakest. Deku is the hero because he’s the strongest. Well, next a big flaw on Deku’s part is that he worshippd the same heroes that were making the world corrupt. Heroes like Endeavor who created people like Dabi. So, does Deku take action to either criticize the older generation of heroes, or separate himself from them in order to try to be better than them? Nope, he teams up with them. Not only that, Deku can’t do something as simple as tell Gran Torino out loud about his plans to save Shigaraki. If Deku feels that Shigaraki is worthy of salvation then he should at least try to make an argument here about his ideal of saving others.

Now here’s the thing, if Deku hadn’t directly looked at the camera and told us he wanted to save Shgiaraki, would we be able to deduce his intentions from his actions? If you took away all of Deku’s internal monologue, and just showed him punching Muscular and saying nothing when Gran Torino says he may have no choice but to kill Shigaraki would anything about Deku’s actions indicate that he wants to save Shigaraki? Let me use avatar the last airbender as a positive example for a moment. People say that Aang’s desire to spare Ozai’s life comes out of left field, but like if you analyze Aang as a character down to their bending, and the way they react in situations they always prefer de-escalation, or taking a third option as opposed to confronting things head on. It’s literally why Toph says Aang has trouble learning earth bending, because as an airbender, he always tries to look for some other way to solve the problem, instead of a direct confrontation with force. As early as season one, Aang tells Zuko someone who has tried to kill him several times that he was friends with someone from the fire nation one hundred years ago and in a different situation they could be friends. Aang’s desire to save the Firelord may not have been told to us until the last possible minute, but Aang’s aversion to violence has always been a part of his character from the beginning. However, Deku never shows any similar aversion to violence. There’s basically no example where he ever tries to de-escalate a situation, or he avoids a conflict by seeking a third option. 

Anyway, let’s move onto the next example. In the confrontation where Lady Nagant fights Deku, when Deku learns the fact that the heroes were employing government hitmen to attack people for uhh… exercising free speech does Deku give any reaction to this information? When Lady Nagant says that Deku is only going to bring back the status quo, does he show her any meaningful evidence that he won’t do that.

Deku’s response is because the world is so grey, he needs to extend a helping hand to others. Which you know what thay could be a response. Deku saying that his response to the corruption of the hero world is that he now understands that society led some people down the wrong path, so his way of addressing the wrongs of that society is lending a helping hand to as many people as possible even people he used to think was irredeemable. 

I will give Deku the benefit of the doubt, I think this is an acceptable answer. I can’t save everyone, but that’s not going to stop me from trying to save as many people as possible and maybe I can save people who were this society’s victims on the way too.  However, does Deku demonstrate his resolve to extend a helping hand in any meaningful way. 

Deku is met with an armless, insane Overhaul who’s begging for someone to help heal his father figure in the Yakuza from his coma. This isn’t like Muscular who insists that there’s no helping him, Deku is met face by face with someone asking him for help. Deku’s gotta extend a helping arm whenever he can, because he knows some people were abandoned and led astray by this society… Unless that person is someone he doesn’t like personally. At which point he only helps them on a conditional basis. We are told Deku will save anyone and everyone, but Deku is met face to face with an armless man who is begging for help and Deku’s does nothing to help him. Deku’s not criticized for refusing to help overhaul either, it’s never brought up again. When Deku begins to experience a mental breakdown because of all the people he’s trying to help in the Dark Deku arc, we are told this is the result of Deku trying to save everyone, but we do not see Deku attempting to save a single villain after Muscular and Nagant. 

He exhausts himself beating up villains that AFO sends after him, and only helping innocent civilians. Which would be fine if this arc were about how Deku is running away from his real responsibilities the same way that Judai was running, but that’s not what we’re being told. We are told that this is all part of an arc of Deku learning to understand villains and be a hero.

Deku is asked “Can you save Shigaraki?” by the story, but Deku never at any point has to deliberate on that question. Judai doesn’t deliberate on that question either, but him choosing not to think about things and stay ignorant is the point. 

It’s actually fine to make Deku stagnate as a character. It’s fine to have him take the easy way out by just punching villains and giving up on them after one conversation. It’s fine for him to be empathetic to other people’s suffering, or even self-righteous. It’s fine for him to be ignorant. 

He could be all of those things if it was a part of a narrative teaching him to unlearn his behavior. In fact the narrative might have been better if Deku started out by saying he didn’t want to save Shigaraki, that there was no choice but to kill him, because then at least his actions would be consistent with his words. Then his lack of empathy and his tendency to resort to violently beating up villains instead of avoiding violence would be character flaws he could work on. Deku however, is presented to us as this empathic hero who is always willing to give others a second chance though he never actually sticks his neck out in order to do so. Continuing on with our slow crawl through MHA, one of Deku’s friends is revealed as the traitor. Deku has a heartwarming scene fo saying that Aoyama can still be a hero, but look at his actions. He lets the adults in the room physically tie Aoyama in a straightjacket and imprison him, for the crime of… doing bad things while he was in a hostage situation. Apparently, if a bank teller helps the bank robber by giving them money when the robber has a gun to his head, the swat team should just snipe the bank teller. Not only does he not defend Aoyama against the adults, or stand up for him, or tell the adults they’re wrong to treat Aoyama a clear cut victim who had a gun to his head and was bing held hostage like he’s a villain - he also lets the adults use Aoyama an innocent victim as bait in order to lure out AFO.  Deku tells Aoyama he can still be a hero, but he doesn’t defend Aoyama as a victim of being taken hostage, nor does he stop the adults from further taking advantage of him and throwing him right into danger. Some people are just led the wrong way that’s why they need to be extended a helping hand, but fuck Aoyama I guess. He needs to earn the right to be sympathized with by physically putting his life in danger. 

Deku can’t even go out of his way to save a friend who he’s known for the better part of a year, when that friend is a complex victim forced to do bad things. 

Then Deku and Uraraka have a conversation where they both, kind of ruminate on the idea that maybe the villains are human beings who are worthy of sympathy.

In fact Uraraka is actively trying to dehumanize Toga by looking at the destroyed city, so she won't have to think of Togaas a person.

The language here is also a major fault of this arc. It focuses far too hard on “forgiveness” over and over again. As I said before, saving Shigaraki isn’t about Shigaraki at all, it’s about Deku, and how he wants to use his power as a hero. Deku has even stated himself that he doesn’t believe that OFA is a power that should be used for killing people. So why does whether Toga or Shigaraki are forgivable or not even matter? It’s the same with Deku refusing Overhaul any sympathy. If he’s so morally opposed to abusers, then why does he work with Endeavor and defend him at every visible opportunity, even in front of his victims? Whether or not Deku can forgive Shigaraki doesn’t matter, because Deku is not the moral arbitrator or right and wrong. In fact Deku doesn’t even have any morals, so how is this a moral debate? Is there any point where Deku gives a clear definition of what he thinks right and wrong is? Does he quot Immanuel Kant to the audience? 

Batman doesn’t kill people, not because he thinks that every last person on earth can be saved, but because Bruce Wayne an incredibly rich white man thinks that maybe he shouldn’t have the authority to decide who lives and who dies. When Bruce doesn’t kill the joker, it doesn’t mean he thinks the Jokers actions are forgivable, it’s because Bruce thinks it’s not his place to determine whether someone has the right to live. 

The whole conflict that MHA presents us is that heroes pick and choose who to save, and only save the ones they deem as innocent. So, how does Deku saying repeatedly they can’t forgive Shigaraki contribute to that theme in any way? In fact by focusing on forgiveness, rather than whether or not he personally has the right to pick and choose who lives and who dies Deku is ignoring the elephant in the room. The question isn’t about whether Shigaraki’s redeemable or if his deeds should ever be forgiven. The question is whether Deku has the right to decide who gets saved and who doesn’t. 

We are told that Deku as a character is someone who wants to save everyone no matter what, so Deku shouldn’t be focusing on whether or not Shigaraki is worthy of forgiveness, he should be making an idealistic argument like Xavier does in this panel. Why doesn’t Deku talk out loud with Uraraka on how he believes his power is for saving others, and not killing? If he’s meant to represent some idealistic hero, then why doesn’t he even talk about his ideals? Why don’t I as the reader know what those ideals are?

I think Xavier’s ideals of forcing the X-men to provide a good example to the mutant community, in order to try to earn the respect of other human beings is wrong, but at least he has ideals.  He tries to inspire the other people around him to live up to those ideals. The story can criticize him for his ideals and point out how they’re wrong, while it can also uplift parts of his idelogy like where he believes there are no evil mutants. Deku has a chance to do the same to Uraraka, to tell her clearly, “I don’t think we as heroes have the right to pick and choose who we help…?” but he waffles. Not only does he waffle, but this moment is meant to be read as an indication that both Deku and Uraraka are sympathetic individuals who want to save their villains. They are supposed to look good and idealistic here and they don’t. For Deku it just seems like a repeat of his behavior with Overhaul. The only villains that are worthy of sympathy, are the ones that he personally decides are forgivable. 

The story isn’t about whether or not it’s moral to save someone who’s killed as many as Shigaraki has. The story never seriously discusses any sort of complex morality or moral philosophy. Once again to bring up avatar, yes you can argue Aang sparing the life of a war crimminal is bad, but Aang mentions on multiple occasions that he wants to retain the cultural values of the airbending people. Aang has a morality, a consistent morality, it might not be a morality you personally agree with but at least he has one. Deku hates abusers, unless he’s next to Endeavor then he thinks abusers should be given the chance to atone. Deku doesn’t believe that One for All is a power for killing, but he never stands up to any of the adults who are blatantly trying to kill Shigaraki, he doesn’t even express out loud to Uraraka that he doesn’t think heroes have the right to decide who lives and who dies. In fact he’s given the perfect opportunity to, when Hawks kills a villain and it’s broadcast live on the news in font of everyone, but Deku never has anything to say about that. The reason Deku and Uraraka both put such an emphasis on “forgiving” their villains has nothing to do with the story itself. It’s because the author Horikoshi, is afraid that some people will misinterpret his story as saying that he actually thinks that saving a villain like Shigaraki means that he condones mass murder, so he has to have the characters talk about not forgiving Shigaraki. 

Judai doesn’t have any consistent morals either, but once again that’s the point and something the story relentlessly calls him out on.

Cobra: Fortune would never smile on a fool like you who fights while prattling on about enjoying duels.  Cobra: You are certainly a talented duelist. But you have one fatal flaw.  Judai: A fatal flaw? Cobra: Yes, your duels are superficial. Someone who fights with nothing on his shoulders, cannot recover once he loses his enjoyment. What a duelist carries on his shoulders will become the power that supports him when he's up against the wall! Cobra: But you have nothing like that! Those who go through life without anything like that cannot possibly seize victory.  Cobra: But I know that nothing I say will resonate with you... because you have nothing to lose but the match.  Judai: I...  Cobra: Afraid aren't you? Right now, you have nothing to support you. 

Judai’s regularly called out for his superficiality. Judai is only a hero because he’s strong and wins fight, he doesn’t feel any responsibility towards other people, and in fact he loathes having to feel responsible for others. Judai isn’t just naive, he deliberately chooses to remain ignorant. Since he’s ignorant of his own faults, he makes awful decisions when it comes time for him to lead, and his friends die because of choices he made. We are told that Deku doesn’t want to remain ignorant, that he wants to understand villains, but Deku’s actual actions are him continuing to ignore society’s ills and the suffering of victims. In fact if you take away Deku’s internal monologue and the narration, Deku’s actions almost exactly mirror Judai’s.

Deku is just as superficial as Judai, and he also doesn't want to spend any time thinking about what kind of hero he wants to be, but the narrative never punishes him for it.

Judai is asked what burdens he has to bear and he has to meaningfull answer that question, Deku is allowed to get away with not having to think about anything. Deku remains superficial. Both Judai and Deku spend the entire arc running away from their villain rather than confronting them in any meaningful way. They both never express out loud any sympathy for their villain, or try to empathize. THey both never step down from the role of hero, and only confront their villain as a hero, because they don’t want to think about themselves as complicit or in the wrong. Shigaraki and Deku’s final confrontation mirrors Judai and Yubel’s but without the same clear framing. THe entire time Yubel is trying to get Judai to empathize with them, and Judai only responds with physical violence, because they don’t want to stop being the hero and because they can’t see Yubel as anything other than the villain.  As soon as Deku arrives on the battlefield (by the way everyone else and their mom pointed this out, but Deku who doesn’t think OFA is a power for killing, is completely okay with a plan called the “Sky coffin plan” where every other hero was clearly trying to murder Shigaraki).

When Deku arrives he asks if Shigaraki is still in there, but he doesn’t do anything to try to reach Shigaraki, he jumps right to punching him. In fact he never tries anything besides punching him as hard as possible. How is punching Shigaraki with the force of a thousand suns saving him exactly? How is that different from how he tried to defeat Shigaraki the last war arc, before he saw the image of the crying child that made him want to try a different approach in saving Shigaraki?  In Judai’s final fight with Yubel, it’s made explicitly clear that Judai is not trying to save Yubel, and that’s a fault on his part. In fact Judai gives the traditional “I have friends, and you don’t” speech to Yubel but it’s a subversion of how that speech is usually used. Usually that speech is used to show that the protagonist won because of they valued friendship,while the villain treated their friends poorly and only cared about power. However, it’s ironic in this case because Judai got all of his friends killed. Judai treats his friends like garbage. This speech isn’t used to show that Judai is winning because he values his friends more than Yubel does, it shows that Judai is a hypocrite, playing the hero in this situation where they are just as bad as Yubel. Judai’s not morally superior, he’s just lucky that he has good friends. Friends that were willing to save him. The only connection Yubel has to anyone else, Yubel’s only friend is Judai and Judai is a shit friend. 

In fact, Mirio tries to give a version of the “You don’t have any friends” speech to Shigarkai, only for Shigaraki to get mad and tell Mirio that he does have friends and people he wants to protect. 

This fact is also something that is blatantly ignored by Deku, even though Mirio tells him about it… even though we are told that Deku is trying his best to see the humanity in Shigaraki. 

Judai blatantly admits they’re trying to kill Yubel. Which makes them a worse person, but a better character than Deku, because their actions are clearly framed by the narrative and consistent. 

On the other hand we are told that Deku doesn’t want to kill Shigaraki, and yet everything Deku does makes it look like he’s just trying to kill Shigaraki and put him out of its misery. If we didn’t have Deku stating out loud that he wants to save Shigaraki and wants to see him as a human, there’d be nothing in his actions to indicate that he’s trying to avoid killing Shigaraki. Deku says he can’t pretend he didn’t see Shigaraki crying, but like, does he ever hesitate to punch Shigaraki, does he ever think that causing Shigaraki more harm is wrong when he’s already suffered so much? Deku says that Shigaraki is a person but does he treat him like a person? Does he try to talk to him like a person? To use avatar again, Aang does talk to Zuko pretty early on. Deku doesn’t even give the classic “We could have been friends under different circumstances” speech. When Shigaraki resists Deku’s attempts to see him as a person or emapthize with him, Deku’s response is to just resort to punching harder. 

Which is in effect the same thing Judai does to Yubel, just kill them as a villain so they don’t hurt anybody else, but framed in an entirely different light. Judai is shown to be ruthless, and cold in his attempt to only settle the conflict with Yubel by violently putting them down. On the other hand we’re being told that Deku is compassionate and empathic while he punches Shigaraki with the force of a thousand suns. 

There’s another eerie similarity between both of these final confrontations. At the climax of the confrontation, both Judai and Deku have a psychic vision where they see events from Yubel and Shigaraki’s childhood. This vision is supposed to help both characters understand the good in the villain they’re facing.

Let’s see the contents of this vision and how the visions change each character. Judai is shown a vision of his past life where Yubel sacrifices their entire body, and even their humanity to go through painful surgery to turn into an ugly dragon, all for the sake of protecting Judai in a previous life. 

Judai is then forced to witness the good side of Yubel they’ve been ignoring all along to paint them as a villain. Yubel is simultaneously extremely selfish and willing to hurt people Judai cares about, but they’re also extremely selfless and will do anything to protect Judai and have made great sacrifices in the past for Judai’s sake. Deku gives lip service to not ignoring the humanity in Shigaraki, but Judai is literally forced to acknowledge the humanity in Yubel. Not only that, but Judai changes his behavior immediately after learning this new information. After seing the sacrifice that Yubel made for him in the past, Judai responds with a sacrifice of his own. A sacrifice that perfectly mirrors the sacrifice that Yubel once made for him. Yubel gave up their humanity for Judai, so Judai fuses his spirit to Yubel’s, becoming a human / spirit hybrid so Yubel no longer has to be alone. 

Judai also doesn’t just fuse their soul with Yubel’s in order to stop Yubel from destroying everything, it’s because both of them at this point need to atone together, and Judai is fulfilling his responsibility of watching over his friend until the end to prove that you care about them - as he said to Sho. Judai’s also fulfilling Johan’s dream of helping repair the bonds between spirits and humans, by reconciling with Yubel and repairing their bond. It’s also Judai atoning for his previous behavior of abandoning Yubel, by choosing to stay alongside them as they both atone together. Deku does sacrifice OFA during the fight against Shigaraki, but their sacrifice isn’t to help Shigaraki, but rather doing psychic damage to Shigaraki by using OFA is the only way to defeat them. He transfers OFA in order to break Shigaraki’s brain so he’ll stop reissting and Deku can beat him down. Judai fuses their soul together with Yubel out of empathy and a responsibility they feel to help their friend fater abandoning them, Deku transfers One for All to Shigaraki in order to hurt him and make him easier to punch. It's funny that Deku doesn't travel to Shigaraki's mind to learn more about him, but instead with the specific intent of harming him.

Once he's inside Shigaraki's mind, he doesn't take time to reflect on how Shigaraki used to stand up for bullied kids, or how he wants to be a hero to villains because no one else will stick up for the outcasts in society. No, he only care about Shigaraki when he takes the form of a child crying for help.

In the aftermath of the psychic vision Deku’s behavior doesn’t change towards Shigaraki in any way either. You could say he sacrificed his own arms in order to try to comfort Shigaraki within the depths of his own mind - but that’s not a real sacrifice either because his arms immediately come back.  When Judai learns about the sacrifice that Yubel made in a previous life towards him, he stops seeing Yubel as an enemy and finds a way to resolve things peacefully between them. When Deku lanterns that Shigaraki’s a victim of All for One, and that his entire life was a lie, when he sees Shigaraki’s suffering first hand does his beavior twoards Shigaraki change in any way? 

When he sees Afo has taken over Shigaraki’s body again, does he try to shout for Shigaraki, to tell Shigaraki to fight from the inside, to reassure Shigaraki that he’s still in there that there’s still good in him? Nope. He just punches Shigaraki some more.

What Deku needed to tell Shigaraki is so obviously set up by the narrative too. Shigaraki wanted just one person in that house to tell him he could be a hero. Deku wanted his mother to tell him he could be a hero if he was quirkless. Deku sees that Shigaraki started out as a boy who wanted to be a hero, and who was manipulated into being a villain but does he try to appeal to the boy inside of Shigaraki by telling him he can still be a hero? Does he now see the good in Shigaraki? Nope, he just tries to kill him by punching him really hard. 

I purposefully chose the images for the banner of this post, because it shows how differently MHA and GX treated its villains in the end. Yubel is embraced by Judai in the end, Shigaraki evaporates into dust.

"Judai, now that our souls have become one we will never be separated again. I have now been filled with your love and power. Let us fight together, against the wave of light leading this universe to destruction!"

Shigaraki could so easily have been given the love and empathy that Yubel was shown, but instead their life ends with no show of empathy from Deku, and with them dying believing that their long life of tragedy meant nothing in the end. Shigaraki realizes he's a crying kid, but he's never comforted.

Shigaraki: I only stole my body back from Master, and I didn't destroy anything. "In the end, I was just as you said... A crying kid, huh?"

Yubel is embraced and comforted, Shigaraki disintegrates into nothing.

One of these stories is apparently an optimistic story about heroes saving people, but it ends with the lifelong victim being killed in the most nihilistic manner possible, never receiving comfort, and never achieving anything with his long life.

The other story is a silly anime about card games, shows that when people are alone and suffering they can lash out and do terrible things. That all people are weak especially when they're alone, but the solution isn't to abandon them, or condemn them for their faults, but to believe in them and help uplift them the same way that Judai decides to uplift Yubel so they can atone together.

Which is why Deku gets an F in being a hero. Go directly to summer school. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $100. 

[alwaysshallow]

single mom x price; PART 2

AO3 VERSION

part one || part three || part four

“Please. Be good, alright?”

You look down at your son. He holds his bear close to his chest; defensive, as you sense—you almost sigh at this view. He’s in a bad moment. The moment where he needs no one, but his mom and the cuddles that you normally would give him, if the nanny wouldn’t be on her way.

And it’s his favorite nanny.

You’re reluctant to let him stay in the house, considering not only his humor, but the earlier tantrum that he gave you. Something between “you’re the worst mother ever”—which only gives you an eye roll, but it’s a potential theme for a cry session later on—and “i don’t want anyone else but you”.

Normally, you’d call your mother that loves him to the core, but given that she’s in Hawaii, not really reachable for you and possibly not in the mood to listen to your problems. She only wants to do it when she’s bored, and if she can give you her “golden advice” without a chance of being cut off by you putting a phone away because she crossed a line.

Which happened too many times in the past, since she just absolutely adored engaging in your life. Reminding you every time that you are responsible for the position you found yourself in and the only thing that could possibly save you is listening to her. Marrying the man that she gets to pick.

Because the mother knows best, as she always says.

The irony of beefing with your son is irritating for you too; especially that you need a nanny for an hour, maybe a little more because you need to go to the town meeting. You could skip it, sure, but it’s like skipping an opportunity; and who knows what will happen. Maybe you’ll get around doing something that will bring money, if they will talk about the spring festival.

Last year you got yourself quite a deal, so the thought is exciting enough for you.

The possibility of meeting John is thrilling, too, even if you don’t want to admit it directly. Everything about this man is electric, enticing enough for you to barely be able to think around him. Something is tingling in your chest, when you think about it. He’s acclimatizing well enough in town too, as you learned—and the town meeting is a good chance to see with whom he’s close.

Animal in a zoo, it would be a good comparison, even if it seems cruel for some reason because John is anything but it.

You get to leave the house after five minutes of talking with your nanny. She’s like an angel, considering that she convinced you to leave, telling you that she’s gonna do alright with your son and his tantrums aren’t really the worst thing that happened in her career.

Which, oddly enough, you believe, without even knowing the details.

You sit in the second row at the meeting. Arms crossed, maybe a little defensive, but you’re not opposed to talking with people that sit near you. They show you photos, talk about their family, ask kindly about yours, until someone mentions a husband when you tell them about a situation from days ago.

Normally, you’d probably make a snarky remark about their comment, saying something how rude it is to point to someone that they need a man, when your point isn’t missing someone to help you around.

That’s normally, if your ears wouldn’t catch that voice. The voice that’s hard to forget even if you’d desperately try to do it. Deep, drawing attention to the owner immediately, like a moth to a flame because the desire to look is impossible to resist. Everyone knows that the appearance does the magic, but if the voice is attractive, most likely is the one who has it.

And that’s exactly John Price.

You observe him only with a corner of your eye, assured that if you’re gonna glance at him once then he’s gonna know where you are. It’s like the seventh sense of his, probably acquired after his job, at least you think that’s the case.

You don’t need that. What you actually want, need, is a small dose of mystery that you currently have without him knowing you’re here.

Maybe that’s not fair, but you don’t care.

He talks mostly with guys from the local workshop; they vigorously explain something to him and he nods. Listens, then responds in such a different mannerism that they represent. Calmer, more stoic, yet it can’t be mistaken with indifference. He’s just… thinking type, you assume. The one who calculates before taking any action.

Wise man, so to speak.

Besides the boring stuff at the community meeting, there’s just one thing that could potentially interest you in—competition for the best garden in town. It has everyone gossiping there and there in a deep hope, or strategies what to do to earn a win; mostly those successful, straight out of family movie moms, ideal moms who are doing everything for their families. Chit-chatter about flowers, techniques and stuff disrupts everything enough to make a meeting come to an end. There’s no point in continuing, when no one listens.

You aren’t even considering the competition, but it gets you enough to think of renovating your garden. Forgotten long ago, as it needed too much work when you had a small kid; right now, when your son is six, there’s way more opportunities for you to actually try to tend it. Who knows, maybe spring is the best time for that.

“So. Gonna snatch that first place reward?” You almost jump, when you feel a hand on your hip. Light touch, but waking you up from your thoughts enough to acknowledge how tender it is. Allowing you to back off easily, if you’d feel like it’s too much.

But you know who this is. And you somehow know that it’s not too much.

“I wish,” you laugh dryly, looking finally at John. He arches an eyebrow, then proceeds to walk back to back with you, no hesitation in his moves whatsoever. “Not really a gardener. Besides, knowing how my garden looks right now… Not really a chance, no.”

There’s a second of silence. “Could help you with that,” he says, fixing his shirt; you give him a quick glance. His outfit isn't really different from the other times. Simple flannel, worn out jeans, combat boots and this well-known, plastered smile into his lips. Charming and dangerous, you think. “I have time, if you really want it.”

You clear your throat, conflicted. Do you really care that much about possibly winning a contest? Maybe John’s help would really do wonders, considering that he already helped a lot of people in the neighborhood; with success that didn’t take much time, as you know.

Kind, nice, doesn’t want anything else in return; could work for you for free. You’re 99% sure that you would bake him a pie or something anyway, but the thought you wouldn’t have trouble with payment is nice enough.

“Maybe. I need to think about it.” He raises his eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just nods his head in an understanding manner.

“We’ll exchange numbers, then. It’ll be easier,” John announces, giving you his phone. You look at him, dumbstruck—it wasn’t exactly your plan to do this.

“I don’t— Well, I don’t think it’s necessary—”

He barks a laugh, shaking his head. “Nonsense. Come on.” Price smiles; like an angel, truly. Angel in a disguise of a tempting devil because you enter your number into his contacts, even if you wanted to keep it as a secret a little bit more. “Wasn’t so hard, was it? Didn’t think I’m some kind of a creep, did you?”

Your face flushes with pure red, when he implies that. “No! No. I’m just… I don’t use a phone often,” you croak. White lie that don't really need much explanation from you.

“That right,” he muses, possibly amused with your hurried talk. “I’ll call you in a few, then.”

He sticks to his promise, as you learn over the next few days.

The thing is: you don’t pick up.

It’s not like you do it on purpose. At least, that’s what you tell yourself when you see a few missed calls on the phone, the moment you come back from the grocery store. Or, when you’re out in the garden with your kid, planning how it’s gonna change in the future because you’re just taken-aback by how bad it looks. Like it’s not your garden.

Maybe the problem is your lack of courage to call him, too. It would take one click and you’d be done with the task, but somehow, you can’t bring yourself to it. Mixed feelings and the “I can take care of anything” mindset doesn’t help you much.

It feels like a reminder to call back, when you see John outside. He’s in the middle of a discussion with some teenagers that were screaming earlier, disrupting the precious night silence. You thank him in mind that you don’t have to do it—as you got up from bed only for this—you just observe everything behind your window, wrapped in a fluffy robe. You can’t miss the drama, even if it means that you’ll lose a few minutes of your sleep.

Your humor gets better automatically, as you even laugh at how disappointed they seem, going straight up to their homes.

And then, you cross gazes with him.

There’s a faint smile from John. He raises his hand, greeting you, so you do the same. However, the difference in moves is clear. John does it slowly, you almost rush to do it and disappear into your bedroom, so he won’t get an idea that you’re up for a talk.

Because you’re not. You’re too tired to do that, to talk with a man that makes a pretty mess in your head every time you’re around him. And, you’re way too ashamed to do that when he called you multiple times and you haven’t answered even a single one of it.

Some part of you wants to give in and text him right after you see him, but you let this idea flow by. You’re gonna text him at the right moment, you think. The middle of the day, or when you’re gonna see that he works over something, so he won’t be able to read it right away.

You forget about your declaration soon enough. Way too caught up with balancing between home, work and school, you don’t quite realize that the longer you’ll extend the whole thing, the longer it will be over your head.

On Monday, you’re reminded. At first, you don’t really acknowledge it, too irritated that you can’t move your car because someone decided to park behind you, blocking your way. The only thing that keeps you from screaming is your son that does not really care what’s going on. He just sits in the back, playing with his toys, unbothered.

The realization of whose car it is, overwhelms you completely in one moment. You know whose car it is. It’s hard not to, really, when you think about it: there’s only one pick up truck around. The neighborhood is full with families that prefer—most definitely—a car more efficient, a car that has more seats because that’s the only way everyone will fit and ride for football games and all that shit.

The thought you have to ask him out of all people, gives you a migraine.

It’s an awkward thought; the way you have to say something. You haven’t returned any of his calls, treating him like some one night stand (even if it wasn’t the case because you never slept together), and now you want him to move his car. Theoretically speaking, he should do it without even thinking twice.

You can’t help but wonder though, if he’s even gonna acknowledge your plea, given you ignored the shit out of him.

Rude, you think. You’re rude and you did nothing about the calls. About the proposition. You totally ignored John Price, and now you’re embarrassed because you have to ask him something. Maybe if you’d think of calling him back, you wouldn’t even be stressed about this situation. Quick text to him, and there he is, moving his car.

In another lifetime, though. In this, you have to do something else.

After you tell your kid you’re gonna be back in a second, you decide to test your luck and jog into his house, just a few meters away, knocking with a whole monologue in your head. How you need him to move your car because your kid needs to go to school. How you need it to go to the grocery store, you even think of giving him an excuse that you need to go to your mom, even if it’s a straight up lie.

You don’t have to wait long. Door swings open a few seconds later and you can see John, a little bit sleepy and confused—possibly because no one normally wants to see someone at seven in the morning.

He speaks before you have a chance to do it. “So eager to apologize, eh?”

It takes you a few seconds before you stare into his eyes, instead of his chest. “Excuse me?” You blink several times. It’s not like you didn’t understand what he said, it’s just his body that you pay too much attention to. He has no shirt on himself, his sweats low on his hips. Tempting.

You do not look lower than that, for the sake of your sanity. No time for fantasies—and it seems like he knows what you’re thinking, as he smirks with that annoying smugness that he has.

“You haven’t returned my calls,” he says, voice low. Might be the consequence of just waking up, but you think of it as seductive. You’re not gonna rub it into his face though, when he literally has the upper hand in this situation. Wouldn’t be smart. “Thought you’re here ‘cause of it.”

You clear your throat. He’s not wrong, but he’s not right either. “Yeah. We’ll talk about this later, but could you—”

“Why?” John tilts his head. It doesn’t help your case in any way. “We have time, you came here early. Might as well—”

“There’s… a lot going on,” you blurt out, interrupting. You don’t really know if he believes you or not, but he certainly is interested in why. So, before he has the chance to say that, you speak up again, "And you have to move your car first.”

“A lot? You know that I offered to help if something’s too much, right?”

You forget how to breathe for a minute. His tone is hard, a sheer contrast to playful John that was here just a minute ago. Not quite scary, since it doesn’t even sound like a threat, but it is a reminder. Urgent one. “I know, but—"

“None of that. If you need something, you call me.”

“Right now, I need you to fix your car.” Comes out a little bit aggressive. It has Price raising an eyebrow.

“My car seems perfectly good, why would I do that?" John leans against the door frame, looking down at you. You're pretty sure you've never felt smaller than you do now.

Using his advantage to intimidate you is smart. Something that he’s gonna do, if you’re gonna show him that you’re weak for it.

You cough. Trying to be civil here is a necessity, you think. Especially if you actively ignored him before. "Thing is, you blocked my car," you try to explain—calmly, before you run away from him; you even point at your red Mazda, a late birthday gift from your grandfather. "I have to… drive my son to his school."

"I did?" he raises his eyebrow. For a minute, his eyes are off you, attention on the parking lot, trying to search for the problem. Then, he looks at you again. "Mm. Seems perfectly fine to me, love.”

Love. He does it to annoy you, that’s the only reason why he’s so unfazed. Or, he’s trying to achieve something different, but for now, you can’t think straight when this man—half naked man, to be exact—blocks your car’s way, looking good.

Too good.

“I can’t move in any way. You’re… too close.”

“Too close? Could say this sooner—”

“—too close with your car, I mean,” you add, weakly. Price has you stepping on your tiptoes, so careful with picking your words. Precise what you mean because if you’re not gonna do it, he could take advantage and change the meaning.

He chuckles, his smile widening. If he’d be anyone else, you’d think that is a predator move. “Makin’ you all nervous and stressed. Why? Am I this scary, love?”

Again. Again this pet name.

“Just— Can you, please, move your car?” you ask, massaging your temples. He makes you weak in the knees and irritated at the same time; you don’t even acknowledge the steps forward that he makes.

He gets your attention the moment he tips your chin up. This feeling itself is making your stomach jump; skin sizzles with that specific need, deep in your heart that you rather not admit, but it is there. It is there, and John makes it difficult not to melt into a puddle in his hands. Ridiculously warm hands on your skin, to add.

The comfort he brings wraps around you tight like a blanket in particularly cold mornings. Important, needed even, especially in fragile moments. You almost forgot how it feels.

“What car is it? Red mazda?” He breaks eye contact with you for a second to glance once again at the parking lot.

“Yeah.”

He locks his eyes with you again. “Oh, honey. Should say that sooner”

There’s a storm happening inside your head; a strange type of deja vu falls on you like a tsunami wave; unexpected and cruel in some way. Did you not tell him what car is it? That's why he acted funny, so cocky, not taking you seriously? You’re sure you pointed in the right direction, even if you didn’t tell him what car it was. He looked here.

Or maybe he didn't? Why would he lie, though? You might as well be tired, you think. It’s not easy to be a single mom, to balance everything out.

Right?

Storm inside your head makes you ignore the warm feeling in your stomach, when John guides you to the parking lot with his big hand on the small of your back.

“I'm sorry.”

"It's okay. Nothing, really," you gulp. "You're new here, so you might not know my car."

Even if you’re sure you pointed him the direction of it.

“Could know better,” he hums, caressing your clothed skin. Tenderly, afraid to break you in any means. “So, so sorry. Really. And look, now because of me you have to put up with being late. Came home later than usual… If I saw all of that, I’d find a different spot.”

You smile a little, pleased with his explanation. There’s nothing wrong in your mind about this situation, nothing that could indicate that he’s lying. Even if he’s a little too close for comfort, you think it’s because that’s who he is.

He moves his car quickly, while you talk to your kid; he almost didn’t notice your disappearance, too interested in his toys. Even if you want desperately to listen, your brain is too occupied with the previous situation, with Price looking so good without a shirt.

Your son tells you about the “drama” between the elephant and monkey when John comes back into the picture, right before you are about to reverse.

“Everythin’ good now? Nothing else to take care of?”

“Everything’s alright.” You give him another smile. “Thank you, John.”

“No problem.” He glances at your kid, then, back at you. “We’ll have to talk later. About the garden.”

“Yeah. Yeah, we’ll have to.”

[clownery-and-fuckery]

Echo asking for Reg Manuals early on in his deployment with the Batch wanting desperately for normality. Only to find out that his shitty little brothers cannot care for anything. ever.

Hunter sheepishly hands his over and Echo just stares at it, watches the drool drip from a bite mark in the cover and goes "What the fuck did you do to it." and Hunter mumbles "I was hungry."

Never asking Hunter for anything again, then.

Wrecker looks at Echo like he grew another head and yells: "TECH, WHA'S A REG MANUAL?" which gives Echo all he needs, really. His disappointment turns to "what the SHIT" when Tech oh so calmly points to the very much ruined and indented copy of the Reg Manual that is currently the ONLY thing holding up Wrecker's bunk leg.

The brawler laughs while explaining how THAT happened while Echo tries to figure out why they didn't just.... fix the leg.......

Crosshair doesn't even say anything, just points across to where his is pinned to the wall, blaster bolts shot through the book as it's open on a diagram of a trooper. It was MEANT to display armour, but Crosshair wanted to practice for mess fights.

Echo simply sighs. Because of course he would do that.

Tech, thank the MAKER, hands Echo his Reg Manual and it's completely and utterly pristine. Echo nearly cried with joy, and Tech very expertly dodges his bone-crushing hug of thanks. He just asked for it back later.

Echo plops down in his hammock, ready to kick back and take a much needed trip down memory lane...

....only to find Tech's neat scribe COVERING the pages.

It's fine, Echo swears as he tries to read past it. Just, it's a bit hard when Tech's made so many damn corrections, pointing out errors Echo had seen himself so many times, his writing so lovely and so well tucked to the margins that Echo mistakes it for the actual text.

The deeper he goes, the bigger the notes, and on the blank pages at the front and back, Echo notices the rest of the batch scribbled and drew for each other, obviously following Tech's strict guide to not writing on the actual pages themselves.

It's.. kind of cute, actually.

Its sweet, just how much personality Echo can see in the few messy hearts Wrecker dotted along the sides, or the small reminders Hunter jotted down, for himself and for Tech. The stickman with the crosshair shooting another, goggled stickman doesn't go unnoticed, either, but the date indicates that its been years since that drawing.

At the very end, Echo's forgotten to be so upset at how defiled his usual precious Regs are, instead finding himself smiling at the drawings he found, hidden between pages. To be fair, its mostly plants, diagrams- but Echo can see Tech's handiwork in the messy drawings of Hunter, Crosshair, and Wrecker. They're younger, but it's them.

Tech didn't sign the drawing, but the attention to detail makes it rather obvious who was responsible. Echo smiles, tucking the page back lovingly to its spot, and returning the Regs with care.

Tech doesn't mention it. Echo doesn't, either. He borrows it some more, and mourns its loss when Kamino disappears.

[ladyknightellen]

It's a Mobility Aid...Not a Fucking Prop!!!

I guess it's just my brand at this point to go mia for a few weeks, then come back with a rant about some new, mildly infuriating realization I've had.

This particular realization is one that's kind of been buzzing in the back of my head as something that was kind of off, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was until now. The 'aha' moment came when I was looking for pictures of Kaz Brekker to add to my collection of stickers on my binder for school. As I scrolled through, I began to notice a frustrating trend in the fan art...

Kaz Brekker, a canonically disabled character, who uses a cane to walk is consistently being drawn holding his cane as if it's just a prop, or a weapon, rather than what it actually is A GODDAMN MOBILITY AID!!!!

And before you start with 'but he hits people with it' I'm going to stop you right there. Yes, he does use it as a weapon sometimes, and it's even described in canon as being designed with the intention of using it as a club if needed, but it's still a cane. It is still a mobility aid that he needs TO WALK, and when you treat it like nothing more than a prop or a weapon, you erase a very important aspect of who Kaz is as a character, and honestly, as a cane user with chronic pain myself, it feels almost violent to see how often it happens.

Whenever I see art of Kaz standing with his cane in his hands like a billy club, or holding it across one or both shoulders, all I can think about is how much pain he would be in to hold a position like that without using the cane for support. At numerous points in the books during Kaz's pov chapters, we get several very detail descriptions of what it feels like for him on a daily basis as a result of his chronic pain. We also get several instances of how it feels when he has his cane taken from him, when he uses it to fight, or when he's disguised and doesn't want to give himself away. We see the toll it takes on his body to do this, and he always pays for it later.

Kaz does not swagger around Ketterdam with his cane over his shoulder, occasionally taking a swing at rival gang members. If this is the image you have in your head of him, please, I beg you to get rid of that image. Kaz is DISABLED. He has severe chronic pain and walks with a heavy limp and that cane is making contact with the ground on every step. Based on the kind of injury he had, I would imagine that his injured leg might even be a bit shorter than the other, which would possibly be evident in a visible lack of symmetry in the height of his shoulders. And that's just one possible way it could affect his body beyond just his leg that would be outwardly visible.

There are many more, but the point is that injuries like the one Kaz experienced can affect the entire body even with the best care and therapy, and Kaz didn't have any of that. I'm not asking you to be a medical expert just to draw fanart, but I am begging you think about things like this and at the very least, PLEASE draw the mobility aid being used as a mobility aid, not a prop. Stop erasing and sanitizing what little representation we have. If you think it makes him 'look more badass' or whatever to have his cane over his shoulder, I kind of don't really care.

P.S. And don't use the tv show as a reference because Freddy Carter is yet another example of a non disabled actor playing a disabled character.

[canmom]

the Spirited Away theatrical adaptation

today I went with @birdfriender to see the stage production of Spirited Away, produced by Toho, currently on tour in London.

and like. holy shit??

you might say how the hell could you adapt a film like spirited away to stage. the answer is: incredibly inventive stagecraft, puppetry, costumes and especially choreography.

I was completely blown away by how this play flowed across the stage. set transitions were masked with lighting to direct attention, with the descending screen, with the rotating central platform that managed to function as nearly every part of the bathhouse. stairs, rotating bridges, creative use of size to indicate perspective (like the tiny train that circles the stage), and just the way the crew would move the props with a flourish -

but also the puppetry, like man! the way characters like Kamaji, Yubaba's giant head (used only at moments of intense emotion), and No Face would be operated by entire teams of puppeteers - it was extraordinary. the puppetry director was Toby Olié who's worked on a million different things including War Horse and you can really see them applying all these tricks accumulated over the years...

the show is remarkably faithful to the film; a few scenes are slightly abridged but every sequence I remembered was there and deliver with style. where it does need to pause and breathe, like in the famous train scene, it does. and like... it is fascinating to see an adaptation from animation to theatre. seeing how Mone Kamishiraishi (Chihiro) would stumble and bumb into walls just as she would under the pen of Shinya Ohira. or how a memorable sequence in the film could be represented symbolically: a collapsing pipe as a string of segments pulled on a string, a flower garden by dancers in flower outfits.

some of my fave sequences involved wooden panels carried by dancers, choreographed so the characters would weave between them, or they'd rotate to represent elevators on different floors. it was also fascinating to see how they'd symbolically represent things it would be impossible to stage, often representing fluids with fabric sheets. a transformation could be shown with actors swapping places with a flourish. at other times, it feels like stage magic tricks are in use, like a flash of light drawing your attention to a rope that was there all along. sometimes the puppeteers will be on stage, wearing simple beige outfits that mark them as not being 'present' as they manipulate the soot sprites and frogs and so on.

they also made effective, sparing use of a large projector screen, which descended at certain points, primarily for the driving scene at the beginning and the train scene. this actually didn't use scenes from the movie, but more of a soft, painterly style applied over... probably animated video? hard to say with the blurring, could be live footage. it reminded me of the use of similar screens in the later YoRHa plays, although it was a minor element here.

we weren't allowed to take photos (i took this one during the final bow anyway) and I would have been too busy watching to take them anyway, but this teaser shows briefly a number of the coolest setups. still, it's so much more when you see the whole thing flowing along without interruption.

and it was very interesting to me looking at this kind of show - big stage, directly homaging an animated film - from the eyes of someone who knows a lot more about film and animation than I do about theatre.

compared to film, you simply do not have closeups; the closest thing is when the puppeteers bring out the segments of Yubaba's giant floating head, but this is used sparingly. so everything is basically a long shot. however, because the acuity of a human eye is much greater than that of a camera, even from near the back of the theatre you can make out a lot of details that you wouldn't be able to make out with an equivalent camera shot. this allows compositions where there is loads going on at stage at once, with the eye being drawn to different areas by lighting and movement.

I do feel like there are definitely things to learn for animators from this kind of stage choreography. so many times I thought like, wow, that's so clever. like how chihiro riding haku was shown by splitting the dragon puppet into segments and putting her on the shoulders of one of the puppeteers.

and everything was done with such style too. if something shuffles off stage, you know it will be done with a wiggle and a flourish. small things but they add so much.

presumably because this seems like an incredibly involved show, there are multiple performers for each major character: four Chihiros, and three Hakus, Yubabas, Kamajis and so on. I'm not sure the exact lineup tonight beyond Chihiro. the exception is Kaonashi (No Face), who is played only by Hikaru Yamano, who gives an incredible performance, sidling and flexing around the stage in all sorts of strange ways that really get across the character's whole deal despite literally performing under a white mask and concealing robe. it's kinda amazing.

another fantastic casting is fundoshi dancer Yuya Igarashi as Kashira (the stack of three big heads that serve Yubaba, and speak only in wordless grunts). he basically has his real head as one of the three, and he has two more heads on his hands, and moves them around in incredibly energetic and funny ways. it's a brilliant way to interpret this, somehow feeling perfectly appropriate to have a buff guy in a red loincloth moving them around.

Yubaba's actress tonight would have been either Mari Natsuki or Hitomi Harukaze; either way she did an incredible job, it was really cool seeing a more human-proportioned version of the character and she brought a lot of energy and authority to the role.

the whole cast did a fucking amazing job honestly. I wish I knew more about theatre acting so I could comment more specifically on the tricks they were doing, but you definitely felt Chihiro's emotions

the production is in Japanese; English subtitles were shown on two screens on either side of the stage. the translation was on the 'honorifics included' end of that scale, but absolutely clear and idiomatic. the format worked - it was generally not hard to follow the action and glance at the subtitles, even though they were further away than they would be in film - and it definitely filled the theatre. I really hope this leads to more Japanese theatrical productions going on tour like this. wish i'd been able to see the Totoro one a few months ago.

definitely this kind of theatre must depend on a fairly obscene budget of the kind that only comes to biiiiig properties like, say, an adaptation of a beloved Studio Ghibli movie (one family turned up in cosplay) - there's a lot to be said for less extravagant staging. at the same time... this really was something.

i gotta go to the theatre more

[becauseimanicequeen]

The Timelines in 4 Minutes

Since the Olympics are finally over, and I have three episodes of 4 Minutes to go on, I thought I would spend some time trying to figure out the timelines.

I'm someone who figures out what I want to say by writing it out, so this post will most likely be me "thinking out loud" and drawing conclusions as I go, and then, at the end, I'll have a clearer view of the timelines (hopefully).

(This is most likely going to be one long-ass post, so beware.)

Let's start with some initial notes before I dive into the fun stuff.

The contents of this post may be influenced by some of my theories (pre-premiere theories, episode 1, episode 2, episode 3), and I might come up with new ones as I write this post (they will be highlighted in purple so possible readers of this mammoth post can choose to ignore them if they want, lol), but my focus is primarily on the timelines themselves and, perhaps, on the passing of time throughout the episodes as well.

As I start this post, I believe there are 3 timelines (which are subject to change as I continue to write):

The present timeline, which is what starts off both the 1st and the 2nd episodes (these are events from the future from our current vantage point).

The 4-minute timeline, which is where Great changes things (I've previously called this the OOBE timeline, since I believe Great is having an out-of-body experience and is "reliving" his past).

Then there's a possible third timeline (I've previously thought it might've been the real past, which showed us events that actually happened in the past paralleled with the 4-minute timeline) but I'm most unsure about this one, so I'll just call it the 3rd timeline until my thoughts are more clear about it.

Now... Where the hell do I start?

Time

It might be a good idea to start with the clues that there are different timelines at play and then dive deeper into the episodes to figure out what's happening.

Besides the obvious clues that Great is sent back in time when he has his moments of the 4-minute phenomenon (4MP), there are other clues that different timelines are at play.

The first clue shows up in the Korn and Tonkla scene from the 1st episode and all the way through to the scene where Korn drops Great off at his place after their family dinner.

This is where I'll be crazy about the details (but I'm a hundred percent sure they matter, especially since this whole show is about time), but if we look at Korn's watch when he arrives at Tonkla's place, it says 7:15-ish pm.

Later, when Tonkla wants a second round, it says 8:55 pm.

Then they get interrupted because Korn's dad wants him home for dinner. They have their family dinner, and then, when Korn drops Great off at his condo after dinner, Korn's watch says 7:15-ish while the clock on Great's phone says 07:13.

(Great already has issues with time, which I believe is the effect of him having a cardiac arrest at 11:00 in the present, but the time anomaly in this particular sequence is different than Great seeing 11:00 and counting when he's alone.)

This whole sequence is meant to be the same day Great hit Manee with his car. All of them (even the dad and Great's mom) are wearing the same clothes they wore when introduced throughout that very same day. Yet, the times on the visible watches and clocks tell us something strange is going on.

(Could this just be me overanalyzing the watches and clocks? Sure. But the interesting thing is that the time is still consistent in the sequence with Korn and Tonkla. It would make sense that they talk, then fuck, and then lie there butt ass naked and cuddling for a total of 1 h 40 min. And, again, considering this show is about time, I trust that the creators have been meticulous about those details, even if it means changing the time on the watches and clocks for every new take if needed.)

Considering what I wrote above, I might start calling the 3rd timeline Tonkla's timeline, because I feel like it revolves around him.

Either way, I will focus on the 4-minute timeline and the third one in particular because I don't see a possible 4th one right now (I might by the end of this post, though, lol).

The question is, then, how we can determine which scenes belong to which timelines. I will get to that further below, because first...

Let’s look at some more details I’ve noticed.

Blurry Edges

One of those details is the dreamy, blurry edges (I'm sure there's a technical term for this, but I have no idea what that might be, I'm just guessing that they're adding it in post-production, but don't quote me on that). Much of the show has a dreamy feel overall, but I'm talking about the blurry edges in particular.

I've noticed blurry edges in the following scenes:

When Great feels iffy in the elevator (ep 1)

I'm pretty sure there's some of it happening in the scene when Tyme is treating Manee, both in the ER and in the OR during the surgery (ep 1)

At the family dinner when Great's mom tells him he should go see Manee at the hospital (ep 1)

When Great feels iffy at the hospital before his second 4MP (ep 1)

When Great is sitting in Title's car talking about where View is (ep 2)

I'm not sure about this one since it's hard to tell because it's dark, but it might be used in the scene where Title beats the shit out of Dome (ep 2)

When Great brings Dome into the hospital (ep 2)

When Korn is having a meeting with Fasai and her dad (ep 2)

When Great feels iffy and has his fourth 4MP at the basketball court (ep 3)

When Win reads through Tonkla's brother's social media posts and comments, which is a memory of him doing it (ep 3)

And I'm pretty sure we're getting more of this since there were scenes in the trailer that had those blurry edges as well, for example:

The pattern I'm seeing with these scenes (if we exclude the first scene in the elevator, Korn's meeting with Fasai, and Win's memories, the latter might've had blurry edges just because it was his memory, btw) is that each scene has something to do with Great's 4MP, before the rewind and/or after the rewind.

(Perhaps the reason for the blurry edges showing up in Korn's scene is because he's the possible third character that's having an OOBE. And if this theory is true, there's a possibility that there's yet another timeline/reality/perspective present that entwines with both Tonkla's and Great's timelines.)

There are also the tilting camera shots (mostly showing up in scenes with Great), which I might get into next week as I continue to build on this post.

But, what does all this with the blurry edges mean?

I have no fucking clue.

Perhaps it's just meant to show that things aren't what they seem. Perhaps it's meant to show which characters are experiencing OOBEs (Great, Tyme, and possibly Korn)? Perhaps it's meant to show moments that are affected by Great changing them through his 4MP? Again, I have no fucking clue, yet (but it might start to get clearer as we get more episodes).

So, moving on...

Different Realities/Parallel Worlds/POVs?

There is another aspect to this whole timelines discussion I'm having with myself that I want to bring up. And that's the clues I've found that support the possibility of different realities/parallel worlds/different point-of-views. I'm not sure what to call them, yet.

So, let's dive into the moments I'm referring to and try and figure it out.

The second time Great experiences his 4MP, he goes to the ER's front desk and we're shown the nurse's actual desk where there's a clock that we're supposed to focus on because it's telling us that time will do weird shit again.

The moment Great has been sent back in time (after being in Manee's room), he's standing in the same position, looking down at the clock on the desk, and realizes it's happened again (just like when he hit Manee). However, this time, the things on the desk are different.

The time on the clock is the same, but the mirror is in a different position, 75 has turned to 74 (I'm not sure what these numbers mean), 77F has turned to 76F (which I'm guessing are Fahrenheit degrees), and the pink, blue, and yellow papers are lying on top of the folder the second time around.

If Great was sent back in time to the exact moment he was in before he went to Manee's room, the things on the desk would've been in the same place, right? So, he might not even have been sent back to the reality he was in before this 4MP happened.

Another clue is the sunrise and the sunset artworks on the wall at the hospital. We often see them by the entryway:

Then, in the 2nd episode, it looks like at least the right one is hanging outside Manee's room (which we've seen isn't anywhere near the front desk since Great had to walk around a bend to get to her room in the first episode).

Could they have more than one of those artworks in the hospital? Sure. So, take this with a grain of salt.

(Btw, I find those artworks so fascinating because sunrises are usually cooler (more blueish) while sunsets are usually warmer (more red/orangeish). But from our perspective, looking at them straight on, the warmer artwork has the sun setting in the west while the cooler artwork has the sun rising in the east. And, since the eye in left-to-right reading cultures often automatically goes from left to right, it's interesting that the sunset comes first and then the sunrise. Perhaps it's to show that the world is turned upside down now that Great is having these weird experiences. Or perhaps it's to show that the time between the sunset and sunrise will be important for Great and Tyme since Great watches Tyme pass those artworks (from sunset to sunrise) the first time he has visions of them having sex. But, I digress...)

Another set of clues is in the scene with Great and Tyme sitting on the bleachers by the basketball court and Great has another 4MP in the third episode.

The first time we see this wide shot, there are 5 people (excluding Great and Tyme):

4 of them are wearing white shirts (one with a darker cardigan), and they sit on Great's side. One wears a blue shirt and sits on Tyme's side. This is where Great asks Tyme why he didn't call before coming to the University.

As they continue to talk (and the camera shot is closer to them), you can see the top of the head of a girl walking towards the bleachers. There's also another person walking by, waving, but he's walking right past them rather than towards the bleachers.

Then, as Great thanks Tyme for the Thai tea and gets up to leave, we get this wide shot. The only difference here is that the girl who walked towards the bleachers is now sitting next to her friend. That seems logical, right?

But, then Great has his rewind, and he comes back to the moment where Tyme reminds Great to get his wound treated. Great tells Tyme about his precognition and Tyme tells Great that he will consult with one of his doctor friends. Then, as Tyme stands up to leave, we get this wide shot:

The two girls at the bottom left are in the same position but the girls two steps above and to the far left are different, the boy and the girl next to them are new, and the boy with the white shirt to the right is the same boy that sat on Great's side previously.

Coincidence?

Well... After Tyme tells Great that he can call him Tyme rather than Doctor, and Great says that they should grab something to eat after he gets his wound treated, we get this shot:

Now we're back to the original two girls to the left, there are new boys wearing black on the bottom left, and the boy in blue is back again. That's a lot of moving around in such a short time.

The only things that stay consistent in all of the shots are the bags (except for one of them) and bottles.

So, what's going on? Is this another one of those things that happened at the hospital where Great was sent back to a reality where things were different from the reality he was in before the 4MP?

Is the show giving us different perspectives? For example, Great's perspective before his 4MP, Tyme's perspective when he says he'll talk to Den, and Great's perspective again when Tyme has left? That could work for the hospital example as well since it was from Great’s perspective before the 4MP but turned into Tyme’s after the 4MP as he asked the nurse at the front desk who the guy that bumped into him was.

Or is the show just underlining how strange everything is during the 4-minute timeline (and Great's possible OOBE)?

Well, the latter might not be it because clues like this don't just show up when Great is around.

In the first episode when Korn comes to Tonkla's place, Tonkla's laptop shows he has something blue and yellow on his screen:

Then the screen is black as if it's been turned off:

Later, when it cuts to them lying naked on the sofa, it's just white:

Also, notice how the small spotlight behind the desk is positioned differently and pointing in another direction on the desk than in the first image above.

Could it be that Tonkla simply used the laptop and moved the lamp between them having sex and lying there? Sure. Again, if we look at Korn's watch from the beginning of this whole sequence (7:15-ish pm) to when Tonkla wants a second round (8:55 pm), we know he had 1 h 40 min to rearrange things and do stuff on that laptop.

But, you know, unless the house is on fire, who would move from that spot on top their sugar daddy who is lying there deliciously naked? And especially to do some stuff on a laptop? Fuck technology (the not-so-good kind of fuck) and fuck your sugar daddy instead (the deliciously bad kind of fuck). We all know Tonkla wants to. But, I digress...

Take this detail with a grain of salt if you want to (or a whole fistful). For me, though, this shows that there's a possibility that changes and inconsistencies like this aren't just happening around Great. And (to my crazy mind, at least), that it might be two timelines showing up throughout this particular sequence between Korn and Tonkla.

24 Hour vs AM/PM Clock Settings

And on the topic of inconsistencies... Another thing I want to point out is the inconsistencies with the digital clocks when it comes to them being 24-hour clocks or set to the am/pm thing.

The hospital seems to have a 24-hour setting in some cases:

But not in others:

This could be in the morning, of course, and the darkness outside Manee's window might just be because of the thunder/lightning storm (but I still think it's night rather than morning).

And then we also have Great (who, to be fair, has a special relationship to time in this show), who sees 11:00/11:02 both in the morning and at night:

And the am/pm thing is on his phone when Korn drops him off:

Even though his phone seems to have the 24-hour setting:

More than once:

But, again, Great clearly has issues with time and clocks/watches. So, this might just be a way to show how confusing it is to him.

But, what if it isn't? What if it's an indication that several realities are entwining? (Okay, I feel like I'm going with the term "realities" when it comes to this.)

My Timelines So Far

So, what are my conclusions after watching the first 3 episodes?

At this point, I think there are 3 timelines:

The present timeline.

The 4-minute timeline.

The real past/Tonkla's timeline (which is meant to show us the real past events that happened, most of it from Tonkla's perspective).

Having Tonkla's timeline be the real past is possible considering the inconsistencies in time during the Korn and Tonkla scene and then the Korn and Great scene in the 1st episode.

And before someone says this doesn't make sense because of all the missed calls Korn has (if anyone is still reading this, lol)... Well, that's because Korn exists in both timelines and the scene when he looks at the missed calls in that bathroom in the 3rd episode:

Could be the 4-minute timeline rather than Tonkla's timeline (the real past). That could make sense because all we've seen of Tonkla since Korn told him off over the phone is him waiting by his phone for Korn to call.

We never saw Tonkla call Korn again after being told off.

On the flip side, if Korn is in the real past when he looks at those missed calls in episode 3, it would make sense that when he wants to call Tonkla while he's waiting for Great at the bar (in the 4-minute timeline), the icons on the top right of his phone are different from the phone he looked at in the bathroom:

(Am I getting too crazy about this? Yes. Do I care? No, because it's fun.)

Could he be using different phones? Yes. Could those icons change depending on where he is and what settings he's using? Sure (I'm not familiar with Samsung phones so I have no idea what most of those icons mean). But it could also mean that we're seeing Korn in different timelines in these two scenes, which makes it possible for Tonkla's timeline to show us the real past.

(I personally prefer the option that the scene with Korn looking at the missed calls is from Tonkla's timeline (the real past) while Korn almost calling Tonkla in the bar, and then smiling at his phone as he's going to the bathroom, is from the 4-minute timeline where Tonkla's brother (who I believe is Dome) hasn't been killed.)

Also, I think showing us the real past is a smart way to show us what leads up to Tonkla beating the shit out of someone.

(I believe that scene is from the real timeline, and whoever he's beating with that rock, might have an effect on the things that are happening right now. I'm not sure what kind of effect, though. Perhaps it's a possible third person experiencing an OOBE and "living" in the 4-minute timeline. Perhaps Great is going through this OOBE to prevent that murder from happening after he wakes up (if he ever does). I'm not sure at this point.)

So, that's where I'm at with the timelines after 3 episodes.

And, when it comes to the inconsistencies in certain scenes, the easy answer is that they are just meant to show that this whole 4-minute timeline is an inconsistent mess of (what I believe to be) Great's OOBE.

But, I would personally find it more interesting if these inconsistencies (like all the people around Great and Tyme changing in that scene at the basketball court) are evidence that there is more than one character experiencing an OOBE and that the inconsistencies shown are there because the characters have different perspectives of the events happening.

Now, I had planned to make a flowchart of the scenes in each episode divided into the three different timelines I've written about above. But, I want to get this post out before the 4th episode drops tomorrow, and I just don't have time to make the flowchart before that (or enough images left in this post to fit something like a flowchart in it before I hit the pesky limit). So I'll wait with that chart until next week instead (when I'll continue to build on this post in a reblog).

Waiting to create and post the flowchart until after the new episode tomorrow also gives me another episode to nerd out about. It's a win-win for me.

[baylardian-1]

ive been sitting on this concept for Lil Cheese for a few months now trying to chew out how i wanted to approach it; im really happy with how she turned out. :)

The idea being that back when Pinkie absorbed all of the chaos magic at the end of the series, it had some lingering effects despite her being drained of it. Also in the MLP game for Lil Cheese it says "this future filly will have inherited twice the chaotic party energy of any average pony" which like,,, YES Cheese and Pinkie lmao,,,, BUT WHAT IF...... 😳 went with the name Mascarpone Pie, she goes by Marcy for short. :^) COUGH Marcy Pie. I don't think she'd ever get a cutie mark, which they think is weird at first but it makes sense later when she kinda ages into a draconequus. she doesn't reach her full draconequus form until after adulthood, but as a kid she'd have these weird inexplicable bursts of chaos magic that for a while, ponies would assume was natural given the filly's parents. shed be an awkward lanky teen who starts growing horns, thats kinda when everyone's like oooooooh............. i think shed actually be a pretty goofy and happy kid but uh.... in tf fashion i wanted to draw expressions of distress at her gradually changing appearance. i dont think she'd be immortal either, but her lifespan is very long. eventually she'd figure out how to disguise herself as a normal-looking pony but by that point everyone's pretty aware and normal about how she looks. minor detail, but i bet she'd snort when she laughs lol.  if it matters her draconequus bits are: reindeer, rabbit, bee, giraffe, and dolphin.

[daily-leon]

As someone who's doing their own daily-character for now, I've been thinking a little about how you draw everyday. Namely your simple artstyle and cell-shading, which probably helps when it comes to working on drawings like the one about Operation Havier.

Which leads me to ask this one question- do you ever make a prompt list, or do you just go straight into drawing whatever you feel like drawing? This is coming from my own curiosity since I'm planning to make prompt lists for myself next year.

Putting it under a cut because I like to ramble but don't want to spam my account

However, yes, I do have a list where I write down ideas if they come to me! Though on most days I work on a whim anyway, as I often procrastinate until like midnight (don't do this I just barely have any real afternoons anymore) which doesn't leave me with much time to actually work on them.

Sorry if I come off point later— but first off, I don't draw every day and allow myself to skip a lot!! Important detail

I mean, I COULD try to do them quickly as I designed this art style in a way so it would specifically be one I could work with fast, but I want to like... actually put time into the ideas that I'm excited about. It's nice to look over it anyway when you lack inspiration though, nor will you always remember everything you've planned on doing

(By the way, it's worth to note that while following a schedule is nice, you should totally take breaks, as any artist needs)

Hell, don't think you need to colour them even, my friends have accounts too and they allow themselves to post sketches and small doodles etc which is objectively the smart thing to do

You're gonna make ugly art at one point and it's fine to allow yourself to, if your main goal is to make art daily then just a 10 minutes sketch is all you can ask for already

[the-kr8tor]

Hi!! Wanted to send smth in for fluffy Friday :3

Could you write a thing for hobie with an artist S/o painting on hobie’s back and just having a chill time together while doing so 🥺?

Thank you for the adorable prompt!! 🫶🫶 Hope u like it!

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, suggestive content, cw food mention, FLUFF.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You find out that Hobie's ticklish with the first brush stroke of your paintbrush on his skin. He squirms faintly with his toned back muscles moving subtly, but you take notice because of your current position on his back. The paint is cool when it hits his skin, but you grant him reprieve from the cold with your warm hands.

You're straddling his waist, your legs sit comfortably on his sides, mindful of your weight that he insists he can handle because of his enhanced abilities. But your instincts make you lift yourself up slightly above him, every time you do this he reaches for your thighs blindly, bringing you back down on his waist with a disapproving grunt and a quiet and stern ‘lovie’

“You're ticklish” you coo whilst your hands expertly paint individual blades of grass on the small of his back. Your fluffy pajama pants doesn't help, with every move from you, it tickles him more.

“Nuh uh” Hobie’s voice is muffled by the pillow, if not for the slight tickle he would've fallen asleep from the start. With you on top and gently painting on his back, your hands gliding along his skin, he thinks he's in heaven.

You take a clean brush, bringing it to sweep it across his nape. He shudders, proving your point. Laughing, you bend down to kiss him right over where you tickled him as an apology. An apology he accepts wholeheartedly.

“Y’know, when I accepted to be your canvas I expected to be pampered not tickled to death”

“So dramatic,” you whisper, blowing air into his ear that earns you a flick on your forehead that may or may not have made his shoulder ache a bit. “After, I promise” Hobie hums at the prospect of you actually pampering him after.

Giggling, you continue to finish your work of art. Painting delicate daisies all over the bottom of his back. You're careful this time, trying extra hard not to tickle him.

“Can I guess now?” Hobie cranes his neck to look over his shoulder, silently wishing he was bit by a radioactive owl instead just so he can look at you fully. That would be a terrifying sight though, straight out of a horror movie.

You put some details on Hobie's iconic leather vest. Streaks of silver dance on his skin. “You ask like you haven't been doing that for the past hour”

Hobie ignores your quip with him squeezing your thigh. “I feel like you're drawing triangles, pizza?”

He isn't completely wrong, you are painting triangles for the spikes on his vest. “Pizza? Are you that hungry, babe?”

“Starving”

“Okay, let's finish this later then.” You rub at his arms comfortingly.

“No, finish it, love. I can feel that you're almost done”

“How'd you know?” You lean down once again to face him.

Hobie's cheek is smooshed on the pillow, his lips puckered, a sight so adorable you just want to smooch him right there and then. You pat yourself on the back for not indulging yourself, a feat in itself.

“I can always tell when you're about to finish” he smirks at his own joke.

You guffaw, “just for that I'm gonna take my time” lifting yourself up, Hobie chases after you, trying his best to reach for your lips. But alas, thanks to his bones he couldn't reach you in time.

He gives up, flopping back down on the pillows with a muffled ‘almost’ After a few more added details, you finally finish it in record time.

“And done!” You lift yourself off his back to his dismay. Patting his butt, Hobie gently eases himself off the bed, careful not to ruin your art.

He has pillow creases left on his skin which you gladly rub away with your thumb. “You wanna see?” your eyes twinkle.

“Please, lovie”

Leading him towards the floor length mirror, you turn him around to face you instead of the mirror, to which he happily lets you manhandle him with a lopsided grin on his lips.

“Tadaa!” You gesture around his back, shyness rearing its head, tucking your hands over your chest as you feel heat on your cheeks.

Hobie looks over his shoulder, he doesn't feel so hungry anymore. You've painted a pretty picture to say the least, it's a masterpiece, definitely your best work. It's a scenic landscape of you and Hobie on a sunny field, sitting on a picnic cloth, smiling as Hobie plays his guitar complete with tiny musical notes floating around. The grass is painted with tiny flowers that makes him want to reach down and pluck some for you to put in your hair.

He realizes you're waiting for his reaction, eyes searching his face. Hobie grabs you by your waist, twirling you around the bedroom whilst he beams at your laughing form. You laugh loudly as he squeezes the life out of you.

“It's so fuckin' gorgeous! You're so fuckin' good!” Hobie places the biggest messiest kiss on your lips. He pulls away with a loud smacking of your lips then he decides immediately to kiss you once again on every surface of your face. “So fuckin' perfect!”

“You're eating my face!”

“Because ‘m hungry!”

You think he really loves your little painting.

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

I visited the WGA library to read Yellowjackets scripts and wanted to share some of my findings! (Pt. 3)

Here are my notes for 1x04! Quotation marks indicate direct lines from the script, whereas everything else is me paraphrasing.

Note: You can find an early version of 1x04 on Script Slug, but this must have been a very early version because many things are different. The notes I have here are not on that version of the script, rather they are on the final version of the script that ended up being used for the episode, so there will just be some new details and deleted scenes but no major plot differences between the script here and what we saw in the episode.

1x04 “Bear Down”

A lot of this is going to be about Nat because this is kind of her episode!

•During Nat’s plane crash nightmare in the opening scene, the script says that Adult Nat briefly appears in the seat next to her father before being replaced by Teen Nat again. I thought this was interesting, I wonder what the writers are trying to say by having a flash of Adult Nat here, does it contribute to the whole “We’ve been here for years” line when Nat dies? A representation of how Nat is essentially stuck in this place even 25 years later?

But also, the dream is Teen Nat’s dream, not Adult Nat’s, so is this would mean the dream is prophetic in a sense because Nat is seeing her future self for a moment. Maybe that’s why they cut it out? Or was it just because Juliette wasn’t available for such a small scene?

•Also in the dream sequence, the rifle Nat sees on her lap is noted by the script to be the same one she eventually uses to hunt in the wilderness. Another prophetic piece to Nat’s dream.

All of that combined with Nat’s dad’s line of “It’s been waiting for us” shows that, even though Nat is the biggest skeptic in the wilderness, she is one of the first people the wilderness speaks to and gives prophetic visions to.

•Nat is said to be 14 years-old when her father dies. The script says she and Kevyn are 14 in that scene and the year is specified as 1993. I have always wondered how old she was supposed to be in that scene!

(But it’s worth noting that they might have aged her up a year in the final product because, in the script, the cassette she pops into her boom box when her and Kevyn enter her room is the album Where You Been by Dinosaur Jr., which came out in 1993. However, in the actual episode, Nat puts in the song “Feel the Pain” by Dinosaur Jr. instead, which came out in 1994. So this scene might actually be in 1994 in the final product despite what the script says.)

•Teen Kevyn Tan is absolutely hopelessly in love with Nat in the flashback scene. He’s described as “clearly nervous to be in the bedroom of his crush” and starts coloring his nails with Sharpie just to distract himself from his anxiety.

Then Nat pats the bed for him to sit next to her and Kevyn is “thrumming with hormones and anxiety.” When Nat takes Kevyn’s hand to start painting his nails, we get this description:

“For Kevyn, her gentle touch, her careful attention…he’s in heaven. And simultaneously deep inside the hell of his own desire. Should he kiss her? Would she hate that?”

Nat is described as “oblivious” to Kevyn’s feelings in this moment.

I think these descriptions help us understand how much Kevyn idealizes Natalie in his head. He has this unrealistic, romanticized view of her even 25 years later when they meet again as adults. He likes the idea of her, but when he actually sees her trauma (and sees her as an actual person) he distances himself.

•There are some…interesting descriptions of Shauna and Adam getting freaky in the script. This girl is scratching him hard enough to draw blood, choking him, putting her fingers in his mouth, etc. This shows how Shauna is using Adam to relive the adrenaline she felt in the wilderness.

•When Travis points the gun at Nat, the rest of the girls scatter and run away in fear, but Nat stays perfectly still, staring him down.

•While Taissa is talking to Diane about her political campaign and Diane asks her what “really happened out there,” Tai hears wolves howling in the distance. Poor Tai is more traumatized by Van’s wolf attack than Van is.

•When Kevyn and Nat meet for dinner as adults, they reminisce about breaking into the chem lab at school and stealing equipment to make bongs. My fun little headcanon is that Nat got caught during this incident and the principal put her on the soccer team to set her on the right path.

•Also in this scene, Kevyn notes that he last saw Nat “twenty-two years ago,” which means he and Nat were in contact for a year or two after the rescue. I’m thinking Nat probably stayed in Wiskayok for a year after they were rescued and just decided to cut all ties at some point and leave town, ghosting everyone she knew there.

There’s this line as well:

“Kevyn: You were my best friend and you just…

You fucking ghosted me.”

•There’s another deleted scene (which they did film and we actually got to briefly see it in the trailer for the episode but they took it out of the final product for some reason!) where Adult Nat is looking in the mirror after her date with Kevyn, having mixed feelings about her grief over Travis and her new feelings for Kevyn, and she sees her Teen self behind her in the mirror imitating her movements. A little trauma regression moment and I’m not sure why it was cut. I’m just salty because I love when Sophie Thatcher and Juliette Lewis are in a room together. But here’s a photo of it:

•There’s an interesting part where Shauna finds Javi’s journal and looks through it. The journal has a bunch of drawings in it (wildlife sketches, comic book characters, etc.) that are described as really good; Javi’s talent as an artist is emphasized by the script.

I think this some subtle proof that the writers initially intended for Adam to be Adult Javi, with the obvious nod to the artist talent and I feel like the scripts for these early episodes highlight the closeness between Javi and Shauna in the wilderness more. The writers did confirm that they originally wanted Javi to be Adam, so I think you can see some details that support that in the scripts.

•Before Nat pulls the trigger on her dad, she feels “years of humiliation and thwarted rage” and she automatically “stiffens” when he steps towards her. Just a reminder of how much this man traumatized her!

•When Shauna butchers the deer for the first time, she is described as feeling a “thrill she’s never felt before.” This goes back to her sexual relationship with Adam in the adult timeline, that adrenaline from her role as the butcher that she misses and is trying to recreate.

•When Shauna returns home from her antics with Adam, Jeff asks, “How was book club?” and Shauna immediately vomits all over the floor🫢

[oh-no-its-bird]

Also, the detail of Houhua!SQH checking out the expensive earrings because the color reminded him of MBJ is heartbreaking. Kinda hope MBJ got isekai'd w/ him

I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IF MBJ HAD GOTTEN ISEKAI'D WITH HIM AND I KIND OF REALLY WANT HIM TO BE!! I think it'd be normal reincarnation for him, he doesn't remember their past life, which just makes things more painful for Houhua actually.

Houhua is falling over himself trying to see if he remembers him but is getting nothing !! Sorry Houhua <3

I think he'd be from another village and they wouldn't bump into each other till way later down the line. Im thinking specifically like. Him reincarnating into the same clan as Haku actually. Don't they have some sort of bloodline limit that revolves around ice? I need that. Desperately.

Maybe in a parallel to SVSSS, MBJ here wants to become Kiri's Kage? Idk how thatd work, but like putting that on the table. But like him being a rogue nin, possibly not knowing that Haku survived the culling of their clan (omg he finally has a family he can have an actual positive relationship with! He just,, needs to find him first)

Houhua is straight up ready to drop everything he's been working at in Konoha to go to his kings side but MBJ does not remember his ass and would not know how to appreciate it correctly

I want them to meet and like, obviously MBJ is warry of this Konoha shinobi, but Houhua is incredibly uncharacteristically eager to help him out (which alarms and confuses whatever teammates hes with at the time) and ends up going out of his way to help him somehow

MBJ is left thinking he's a fucking idiot, real Konoha "friendship is magic" breed, and is incredibly confused by the kindness he was shown by him but kind of ends up chalking it up to just. "fucking konoha weirdos and their reputation for being soft"

(Meanwhile Houhua's teammates are giving him HELLA side eye rn, who are you and what happened to their cowardly, Uchiha "we must always choose our own interests over others, especially outside the village walls" Houhua)

(,,,they absoloutley think Houhua has a hopeless crush on the nukenin. Nothing Houhua does or says from this point on will change this assumption.)

(To be fair, they aren't,,, wrong?)

Some time later one of his teammates gives Houhua a cut out of MBJ from a bingo book, meaning it as a joke to tease Houhua, and the cut out ends up meaning much more to Houhua than anyone might have guessed.

(Even later, when they met again, Houhua ends up dropping the little picture where MBJ sees and MBJ is deeply confused by it)

Anyways what would MBJ go by here? I changed SQH's name to better fit the setting plus to draw a clear line between Shang Quinghua and Uchiha Houhua

Tbh I feel like just "Jun" works pretty well? I feel like it's also similar enough Haku's short n sweet name to be able to squint and wave a vague hand at them being related, like, on a surface level, idk, does that make sense?

ANYWHO YEAH !!! Houhua and Jun my beloveds <3

[mrclownery]

some Oswald doodles from the other day!

I’ll have to collect my thoughts on how I want to go about the s2 Arkham plotline another time. But it’s pretty much same idea, with Strange conditioning Oswald to have an aversion to violence. HOWEVER. It is not using that stupid machine. I’m just gonna lean into the Clockwork Orange angle, which I’m fairly sure is what this plotline was always meant to reference. Being sat and forced and watch violent imagery and films, but unlike how they go about it in Clockwork Orange I think I’m gonna stick with shocks rather than drug induced nausea. That could be subject to change though, I need to do more research on the effectiveness of specific aversion therapies.

ALSO another detail that is changed with this arc is that Galavan is very much still around and involved! Oswald was admitted on ATTEMPTED charges. This entire program of “rehabilitation” with prisoners is going to be apart of Galavan’s mayoral campaign, something about being able to eradicate crime in Gotham. This gives reason for the entire experiment to take place, because the shit with Strange like,,, making monsters in the basement? Gone. That plotline is gone, sorry! To me that whole plotline is when the show started to go downhill. He is still very unethical and does MENTAL experiments and such purely for fun, but this version is just a littleeee more grounded than the show and other iterations. Oswald is essentially the face of the program, being paraded and such by Galavan for his campaign once she’s “cured”, and then subsequently tossed away with no aid. From that point it’s fairly similar to the show when she was in that weird state. Still a tad different though since the entire step family arc is also cut. I’ll have to get into that another time.

One last detail! The drawing at the bottom of her being nauseous is from her post-Arkham era before the breakdown. In this version, Ed does end up letting him actually stay for a bit rather than immediately kick her out (he DOES kick her out later on for being distracting to his work. That whole thing is something I’ll also get into another time). Little thing about her design I find neat there is that of course his hair is more tamed and whatnot, trying to be less crazy. But it’s also more masculine. I NEVER really draw Oswald with squared sideburns, when I think of her hair I think of triangles and such. But I’m leaning into the idea that Gotham is about 20 years stuck in the past, and asylums weren’t all that great for trans people. It’s fucked up but it is a part of the whole “treatment” and reintroduction to society as a functioning, “NORMAL” member of it. That means she’s got to look the part! No more pesky makeup and crazy hair (this does in fact make her mental breakdown haircut when he does eventually snap sooo important).