#which i still feel is very young but idk... maybe it's just the depression that makes things less exciting than they were when i was 14

[liddlediddy]

I think I've finally reached the stage of adulthood where I stop understanding this generations music taste and start talking about songs from the good ole days... like I went to see Taylor Swift last night because my friend is a huge fan, and while I do enjoy some of the old stuff, her new music is just... Not good. Like it's not good, right? I can get past the lyrics sounding like trendy buzzwords ripped from some TikTok poetry book, but the music behind those words was just so boring?

And not only that but the openers were just so... Mild? I hadn't heard a Gracie Abrams song before last night, but she played four (I think?) of them and I genuinely could not tell them apart. Girl in Red was a little better but the songs that sounded at least kind of cool just reminded me of that band from Scott Pilgrim and then I was just sad that I wasn't listening to the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack.

Is music actually getting worse or am I just getting old?

[artist-issues]

You're my new favorite blog! You have no idea how I wish I could peck inside your brain like a chicken. 😭😂😂 I am a Catholic and a recovering agnostic. I struggle with letting go of my old way of life and philosophy constantly, I have been struggling with it since the day I decided to revert - that was back in 2017. (I think you would like to know my journey back to the Faith started after watching HBO's The Young Pope! 👌🏼) At this point I don't know if I'll ever be the person the Lord wants me to be, oh well, I'll die trying and I know that will mean something.

I just know I can't go back to being a non-believer, because as Carl Young said, now I don't just believe, I know. The irony is my struggle to believe in something I know to be objectively the Truth.

I have a question for you though, actually I hope for some advice from you. How do I reconcile with the reality that I haven't become who I dreamed to become (like career wise), but now that a new career has been shoved upon me (a career my parents wanted for me - and they valued safety and stability over "following my dreams" I suppose)? ...which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because it is an extremely noble profession and it pays quite well.

The thing is, as much as I try to accept my new career, I keep telling myself and to others that I'm doing this for my parents and not because I want to be here. I feel terrible about it. But, again, it's not like I am unfulfilled (I am unhappy though, but that comes with the work culture/environment, I feel like I am surrounded by 40+ year old teenagers); as a matter of fact, I do think I know - objectively - in my heart that this is exactly where the Lord wants me to be? But I keep fighting against it, keep struggling against this sense of vocational calling that I'm feeling towards my new job, instead I desperately wanna give into my want to go "live the life I want." Like throw this all away, get new training and start all over with the career I wanted all those years ago.

I want to be better, to be sacrificial like Christ on the Cross. I've always known I had a little depression (comes with my disability from a young age and this whole dream thing); I have been suicidal over this, I actually used to joke with myself that I'd kill myself if I don't achieve my professional goals by the time I turned 25. I will turn 30 this September and even though I haven't been literally dead, I feel like I've been in a vegetative state - mentally - ever since the day I turned 25. I hope that makes sense.

I started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago since my mental health started affecting my new job - she did say I have depression and is trying to help me but I just don't know if I want to be helped at all, because I am unable to do the exercises she tells me (like create a routine, exercise well, write down good thoughts, etc.) I feel like I'm failing myself, my parents and, most importantly, my Heavenly Father.

I apologise if this is nonsensical, I apologise for dumping all of this on you - random stranger on the internet - but idk I felt like maybe you'd have something wise to tell me to knock some sense into me (without a bump to prove it hehe).

Thank you and God bless! 🥰

You’re very kind, and I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to share all this with me! I really never have anything good of my own to say, or any wisdom to offer, except what I “steal” from God…and I guess what I mean is, if I ever say anything helpful or good or true, I’m just the messenger. I didn’t come up with it. On my own I have zero wisdom or good things to offer.

Anyway, I was surprised reading this because I have gone through (been going through) a similar sort of mindset. I went to school for the career I dreamed about (still dream about) and I worked hard and I wanted it more than anybody around me (very Mike Wasowski in MU of me) and it hasn’t happened the way I planned, or in my timetable.

I mean, in all humility: I work with a studio making a tv show, but it hasn’t got off the ground yet, and I work for a company that writes movie reviews, but neither of those things pay my bills. I have a third job, working with therapists, that’s nothing like what I always wanted to do. That’s my “career,” but it’s not the career I’m passionate about and working toward. And I wonder if I’ll ever do anything “major” in the line of work I love and went to school for. And when I do, I have gotten into some really dark mental places.

Forgive me for not using the words “depression” or “suicidal.” I hate using those words because they’re overused and romanticized and flooding the culture. But more importantly I hate using them because the only thing I identify with is Christ, not any mental struggle I try to slither back into, like a snake trying to put back on old skin. I’m not my overthinking—I’m not my depression—I’m not my suicidal thoughts or emotions—I am one with Christ. Those are things inside me that are defeated and dead—the teeth have been knocked out of them. They just gum me from time to time. So I want you to know I empathize with you, but that’s my point and that’s how I want to answer you:

The only thing about you that really matters is Christ.

Who He says you are, what He has done and how He lived, which is applied to you because He said it is, by grace alone, through faith alone. No matter how you feel.

And I say that to you, as the answer, because I think you and I focus too much on what could be and what “should be” as if God has a set path for us, and if we don’t figure out what it is and walk it, we’ll have a less-fulfilling life. “If I stay at my therapy job and just work with teenagers and write on my blog for the rest of my life, I’ll be fine, but I won’t be as good as I could be.” Or for you. “If I stay in this career I’m in, the one my parents backed me into, I’ll make it, I’ll be fine, but I’ll never be as happy as I want to be.” We’re both thinking, every once in a while, “This is career is what God wants for me, and all my misery is coming from not submitting to it, and if I could just wrestle my contentment into place and give up the thing I want, and submit to what God wants, I’d be fulfilled.”

But how do we know any of those thoughts are true? How do we know God wants us in these boring old careers we wouldn’t have chosen—didn’t choose? Or, how do we know these boring old careers are what we’re stuck in because we didn’t take the plunge and work harder for our “dreams,” which were what He really wanted us to do? How do we know either of those things?

We don’t. We don’t get to know. That’s the point.

Because that’s not how God works. Not from what I can tell in the Bible.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”. Colossians 3:17.

Whatever you do. Not “the one specific thing you figure out He wants you to do.”

My mom described it to me once when I was in a really dark place trying to figure out what He wanted me to do, paralyzed with indecision, afraid He wanted me to do something I just didn’t want to do, like this: “God doesn’t hold out one flower and say, ‘this is the one I want you to have, so you can either take it or take something worse.’ God makes a field of flowers, and He says, ‘Which one do you want? Pick one, and do it with excellence for Me.’ Then just trust Him to make it good.”

It sounds like you’re in a career, but you are wrestling with whether or not to pick it, now that you have some autonomy as an adult, or to pick starting over. Well. Pick one. Just pick one. And trust God to take care of you. Trusting God looks like thinking it through with excellence, then making the decision—and making the decision means letting go of worrying about the thing you didn’t pick. “Take every thought captive in obedience to Christ.” Once you make a choice, make it all the way, and don’t let your mind wander anymore to “what if this blows up in my face? What if I should’ve stayed back there at the crossroads, or gone down the other path?” It’s going to be hard and God is going to take care of you, no matter what you pick. So don’t let your mind go to those places where you worry; acknowledge the worry, and every time, ask God to help you remember that He’s got you.

Because here’s the point, here’s the thing: He does have you. Because ultimately, your career really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t, it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Neither does your dream. Not ultimately. And now I’ll say “our” because I need to hear it too. Our dreams and careers are not the point of us, and our dreams and careers are not what God means when He says “I’ll take care of you.”

What He means is, “I’ve already taken care of you.” Because the most important thing isn’t our job or our dream. The most important thing is, we’ve been rescued out of eternally being trapped in our broken desires, and now we get to live for Christ, Who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That’s the major. And that truth is where our fulfillment is supposed to come from, what our lives are meant for, our purpose. As long as we pick one, and do it with excellence to make the name of Jesus famous, with that goal in mind, we’ll be emotionally fulfilled. We’ll be satisfied. Because that’s the goal. Not making movies, or whatever it is you want to do. Not having secure means of living. Just…living our lives to make who Jesus is famous. We can do that wherever.

So then the choice? It becomes a minor, not a major, and the pressure of “will I be happy?” is off, because happiness isn’t found in that stuff. And whenever I forget, and start looking for happiness in my dreams, goals, career, that’s when it all starts to feel dark and stressful and hard and crushing. Because it was never meant to give me happiness or fulfillment—that’s a need only Christ can fulfill.

Don’t misunderstand me. He cares what you do. He cared about every decision you make, and He does have a plan. But that’s going to happen anyway. So just pray, consider which option is a) wise to go for and takes care of the responsibilities God has entrusted you with, b) which option you genuinely want, when your wants are not influenced by fears, and then c) step out and do it in faith. And do it with the mindset of, “I’m doing this, and I’m not thinking about the alternative if I can help it, and I’m also not putting all my happiness-eggs in this basket, because even if it crashes and burns, hey, I’m still one with Christ and I can still make Him famous no matter what road my career goes down.”

I hope this helps. It’s a subject I’m hamster-wheeling around in my mind right now a lot—but when I just fix my eyes on Christ and think about how the most important things, the things that give real joy and happiness, are already and forever taken care of and I can’t mess them up—then can get off the hamster wheel and enjoy the life He’s given me, right now, today, without worrying about the future.

[lovingdabeessss]

You think Taiyang has a favorite child?

💖If it isn’t my favorite tagger back again💖

Thank you for asking this, this is actually something I’ve been desperately wishing for an excuse to talk about because my defense for it isn’t great

Anyway back to the question sorry

Yes I do 100% believe he has a favorite

There’s no doubt in my mind it’s ruby

I think he loves them both of course obviously but he FOR SURE favors Ruby

We know from his interactions with Yang he tends to project onto her things about Raven that aren’t necessarily true for her the way he talks when they spar like her whole thing is anger and strength and that focusing on that is her biggest weakness, which is true for Raven, however yangs problem is her self sacrificing nature and obviously he sees Raven in her even more cause they look similar and it’s just.. she’s not someone tai has purely positive feelings for considering all the betrayal and abandonment not that he doesn’t still love her at all but you know

He definitely projects things about himself onto her as well and considering NONE of the fucking STQR family likes themselves ESPECIALLY not taiyang “11 year long depression nap” xiao long and so he’s got that against her and then she got herself abandoned putting more fuel to that particular fire

And I think while they were dealing with the death of summer when Yang started taking on roles she was too young to take he just… let her… and then eventually those things were just her job as the oldest and a lot of things became her job and he kinda slipped into seeing her as more help with Ruby then someone he was supposed to be raising

And like even when he recovers he had to get back into parenting which is hard so he probably started out just doing stuff that were already needed, and Ruby was her own problem cause she needed stuff but only really accepted getting help from Yang at least emotionally depending on how bad you believe tai’s shut down to be and otherwise she’d get things from qrow whenever he wasn’t on missions from Oz so she was just hard to get to accept anything from him

Yang despite being very supportive of the idea of him recovering and finally someone helping her out a lot and having a parent at all again… she is incredibly independent and doesn’t really seem to need anything that he knows how to give and she also genuinely probably just doesn’t know how to have a parent anymore, she’s so used to being the parent and she doesn’t remember getting to really be the kid

So she’s just kinda reduced to third parent

There’s also the fact that Ruby looks exactly like summer who he did leave off with good positive feelings for and then she’s all that’s left of her

AND Ruby’s the youngest speaks for itself possibly got that “guest in the house” treatment youngest sometimes get where they aren’t treated as much as part of the family and more of a guest which is nice but isolating even if she tried to help Yang with chores Yang would get in trouble for having her do it kinda thing

However I do think that tai would’ve wanted Yang to back off of raising Ruby so much so he could be her dad and she would maybe accept him as that more hence like the Ruby queendom things of how she won’t be there for her forever but Ruby doesn’t want him to and Yang doesn’t fully trust him to

IDK THO just messy unorganised family dynamic thoughts

IN SUMMARY!!!:

I think Ruby’s his favorite I think he loves them both but is struggling to parent in wake of the lose of his wife and struggling to relearn how to do it after his recovery and Yang struggles to even be parented and they speak NONE of these emotions to each other cause they’re allergic to talking about their feelings ever

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What do you think about the love square as toxic codependent relationship?

Toxic? Yes.

Codependent? No, though it is starting to go that way.

Canon has quite effectively poisoned the love square and put them in a position where they really shouldn't be dating. At the very least, they should be working full time with personal and couples counselors to fix their myriad of communication issues because Ladybug is still keeping things from Chat Noir and now Marinette is keeping things from Adrien. Yay! Plus Adrien desperately needs to work on being open and honest about his struggles. It should not take an act of magic for him to be able to admit that he doesn't want to do a thing (Risk). And quitting out of the blue instead of talking to his partner? Doesn't instill confidence that he'll suddenly magically be good at telling Marinette if she's making him feel similarly on the civilian side of things.

This leads into the other issue: balancing how they support each other. Right now, Marinette is getting all of Adrien's support, but he's getting nothing in return, which is super depressing because canon has the perfect setup to make that aspect of the relationship balanced. Chat Noir supports Ladybug through defeating whatever Gabriel is calling his villain side, Marinette supports Adrien through the fallout of the reveal of his father's web of lies and deception. Simple! Sweet! Easy! But because Adrien can't communicate his needs and because canon decided that Marinette needed romance trauma, their relationship is horribly unbalanced.

Adrien supporting Marinette through her relationship trauma is the one thing that is arguably codependent about their relationship because holy shit was that a terrible choice! As I've discussed before, he should not be her only support in that struggle for many reasons, one of them being that it makes her mental health dependent on him. The way the show is writing him now that they're together is horrible. Apparently perfect boyfriends have no needs of their own and no hopes, ambitions, or dreams outside of making their girlfriends happy!

The ending of season five does not give me any confidence that the above issues are going to go away. I expect them to get worse because holy shit how do you end the season with Adrien newly orphaned and yet spend no time showing Marinette comforting him? I have a sinking feeling that Adrien will mourn his dad about as much as he mourned his dead-for-less-than-a-year mom because I guess healthy people don't mourn. Or maybe this is just a sentimonster thing? Like maybe Emilie ordered him to not mourn her before she died or something like that. Or maybe Adrien is programmed to only care about living people who he loves/who love him? Idk. What I do know is that I'm very over the canon square. Just terrible, terrible writing. I'm especially judgmental of it because of the target age group.

While parents/guardians can model healthy romantic relationships for their children (assuming that the parents/guardians have a romantic partner), the concept of falling in love and starting to date is something that parents/guardians can't model even if they're actively dating because you're not going to take your kids on dates! Kids will mostly learn about falling in love and dating through media and discussions of the concept, which is why I think that it's extremely important to show healthy relationships in media aimed at young kids. And even if kids are being raised in a home/homes that model healthy relationships, that's just one or two data points. We want to give them lots of data points to draw from! We should not be giving them crap like whatever the hell season five of miraculous was.

[gemmahale]

I'm gonna vent about clothes and shit. Tw for: body dysmorphia, frank discussion of weight gain, general brain bullshit and internalized fatphobia-ish? Idk, I pre-tagged this and kind of went off the rails at the end.

Take care of yourself and skip this one if you need to, okay? I love you. 💚

I need to pick up some new clothes. I'm down to one pair of jeans and really can't wear skirts because it's still too windy (and I have no shorts to wear underneath for the chub rub). And I'm not ready to break out my above-knee skorts yet.

I just...I'm struggling. Last time I ordered clothes, they were too big (I went off the measurements and I think I sized up out of dysmorphia). And because I was deep in depression central last time, it took me weeks to try on the clothes. Which meant that they were outside of their return policies.

I feel frumpy when I go to work. I hate it. I want to be excited about putting clothes on again. I've been wearing essentially this "uniform" for four years now.

I got looking at my license (I'm due for a renewal and soon because my birthday's coming up) and I put on roughly 40 pounds in the last four years. Sedentary job, antidepressant weight gain, having a partner that feeds me well - all things that are net positive, but have affected my body.

Well Gemma, go walking. I need shoes. I need to buckle down and get a pair of walking shoes. But that's a whole thing because I have dancer's feet and stupid ankles and stupid arches. And starting. Starting and maintaining habits are hard. (I'm at the phase where standing for 10 minutes or so hurts my hips and low back. It's bad.)

We're running what feels like a very tight budget right now. Logically, I know it's not - I can see the numbers since I run most of the household budget. But there are things that feel like they should take priority and it feels selfish to be spending it on clothes when I have perfectly serviceable polo shirts, a sweater, pair of jeans and shoes.

I don't know. The me in the mirror is not the me I want to be and trying to claw out of this pit feels insurmountable. I love my body, that's not the part I'm struggling with (okay, some days I do, but that's ..."normal-ish" as best I can tell.)

It's the effort I have to put into looking put together. I miss taking 45 minutes to get ready in the morning, putting make up on and cute outfits and feeling good about myself. I went hypercompetent femme and it worked so well for me.

But I'm worried that a big shift is going to cause some weird blowback. I'm already down a few pegs because I present female and I'm relatively young, even though I have a doctorate in plant health and a decade of experience in the green industry. I'm worried presenting "more feminine" means people won't take me seriously. (Though we already saw that at the commissioner's meeting, so maybe it doesn't really matter.)

I've always been "low maintenance" - roll out of bed, speed shower and throw on clothes. But I want to put effort into my appearance again, for my own benefit more than anything. I feel nice when I'm showered and my hair is styled and it feels like I give a shit.

Tl;dr: Gemma needs to stop being a pansy and wallowing in her feelings, buy some clothes and walking shoes and get some dopamine dressing happening.

And maybe eventually I'll get the clothes I need to donate out of the bedroom too.

[werebutch]

I cant wait to move out im going to suffer so much but ill also have so much that i dont right now. Im so glad i found my love of cooking recently its so so fulfilling. I’m so excited for school and im so nervous. I’m so excited to make friends again and have a schedule. Live in my own little world. It’s like so cheesy but im kind of finally starting to get over my thing about dying young. Like since i was 12 i planned to die before i graduated high school (and at 12, i hoped before i completed 8th grade) but its been almost 2 years since i got my diploma. Now i have my little bunnies and a lot of passion for new and old hobbies etc. like up until a little while ago i could not envision a future for myself at all, its like i was genuinely incapable. And i still kinda am, but its slowly getting better at least for now. And idk im a major loser im pretty much freeloading right now i dont really have friends and I haven’t dated in like.. 4 years? Which is insane. But also like a lot of other people are major losers. I’d go as far as to say most people are losers. and ive told myself this so much im starting to believe it so thats good i guess. The suicidal ideation hasn’t gone away but i can deal with it better. Or at least distract myself better. Anyways ive also experimented with art so much the last couple years and it only makes me want to try more mediums. Since becoming less depressed my intense love for the earth just keeps inspiring me more and more and i think i finally have a very abstract idea of what i want to do with my career. Maybe. At least for now i do, which is good. It’ll change and thats fine. I’m honestly really worried about this high ive had for the past couple weeks because im really scared it will all go away. I’m not usually this optimistic and its scaring me big time. I still have so much mental trouble with my body and my relationship with my family those are like the major things. And the loneliness of course. I just really hope i dont like ? Crash? And start feeling horrible again. I dont know what im saying anymore LMFAO i should really write in my journal im just lazy. If u read this all youre a real werebutch fan. Make me feel less scared of college please

[estbela]

ur my hero fr…. can u maybe tell me more about serbro + bul’s dynamic 🥺

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Noooo, you are my hero!!!!!

OFC!!!!

(Tho this post is kind of a mess sorry)

You see, Ro & Bul are very good friends, and so are Serb & Ro, but Bul & Serb have had...rather tumultous relations over the years, sometimes being friends & allies, sometimes rivals, sometimes even enemies(also had some wars in the middle ages and probably modern era too I think), and they probably met when they were kinda young children, which in nationverse would be the (early) Middle Ages.

Anyway RoBul date for some time(like. Hundreds of years), then break up, for a bunch of reasons, one of the reasons for this being Serbia in a way?(well they argued bcs of him sometimes). Its way more complicated than that tho

Tbh sometimes Bul was basically the third wheel in his own relationship as Serb & Ro got closer over the years and his relationship with Ro got more strained.

Anyway tho I'm gonna talk less about history and more about their general dynamic! (Mostly cause I dont feel like constantly checking every historical fact i say atm)

Imagine. That couple that is so annnoyingly affectionate and also really chaotic (they might have commited several felonies together) and the most depressed pathetic guy with the soul of an old man who complains all the time yet keeps hanging out with them.

And the guy is kind of their ex too!

That is them!!

Even if he complains at every turn they keep Bul with them cause he has that pathetic whimsy and can be just as chaotic as them.

And Bul keeps hanging out with them cause next to Serb & Ro he appears Normal. And cuz he still loves Ro and might like Serb too

cue him being kinda sad and just,,,,,,thinking about the fact the Ro has moved on while he has trouble doing so right as idk. Serbro is doing fun couple stuff (although what they consider fun couple stuff might involve setting someone's house on fire)

Tbh Ro doesn't like the fact that Serb & Bul don't always get along but he knows he can't like. Force them.

An in a perfect world he'd never have to choose between them. In the past, thought, he would have chosen Bul, bcs of how close they were and how much they shared.

But as time went on, he grew unsure of his relationship with Bul and in the end, he sort of choose Serb, or at least, that's how it felt for Bul.

So there's that too.

There are probably more things I could say about them but my brain isn't cooperating at the moment 😔😔😔

Anyway 10/10 dynamic I think they could be so fun but I honestly don't think about them a lot like this kfjddjdkd (in most of my stories all 3 of them are in some weird dysfunctional polycule or robul is officially dating but both of them have some thing going on with Serb more or less lmao) but just serbro dating and Bul also being there is so interesting to think about thank you lili for asking me this!!!!

[conkreetmonkey]

Thing I just noticed: modern stand-up comedians don't make (serious) fun of their wives much, which is good and almost certainly due to "I hate my wife" jokes being almost universally considered hacky nowadays, but it's still incredibly common for them to make fun of their kids, which is probably worse since they're, you know, children under the comedian's care and not a spouse of roughly equal maturity and household authority.

Like, maybe it's just my young age showing here, but a lot of mainstream standup jokes I've seen made about the comedian's kids feel like they go a bit too far? As in airing out dirty laundry that should probably be kept private, admitting to being embarrased/ashamed of their kids, calling their kids dumb, or even making fun of them for physical traits they cannot change? Maybe some of them run the scripts by their kids first to make sure it's ok, but I doubt it. Sometimes it feels like it crosses the line between "all in good fun, it's just lighthearted comedy" and "jeez man, is this really how you feel." Not to mention they're just giving premade insult templates to schoolyard bullies. Just handing them an itemized list of your child's flaws, weaknesses and insecurities.

One kind of joke I just can't stand is when very successful, mainstream comedians make fun of their kids for being spoiled. Like, that's on you. That's a failure of your parenting. Sometimes they even admit to it and then keep going on about it, but then it's just kind of depressing, like they're aware they're a shitty parent but don't care enough to do anything about it? I saw this (I think) Kevin Hart bit where he goes on about how he doesn't like private schools because they shelter kids from real world problems, but just says his kids were "born into that?" Nobody's forcing you to put your kids in a prissy high-tier private school, and if you think it's damaging them, just... switch them to public school? I get it's a joke, but this is a problem you've created for yourself and could solve with a few emails?

idk man, a lot of these kids are going to have severe daddy issues as adults and let's leave it at that.

[katatonicimpression]

Bobby/Romeo, you’ve probably talked about them before but I don’t remember

Oooh so i actually really like this. And, like, in a way I dont ship it - I don't make or consume fan content for it - but I really like what Vecchio and Orlando did with it. I think it's a strong storyline.

Because I'm petty and my brain is weird, I'm gonna format this by responding to objections:

A) The age thing/is this problematic?

So, Romeo was time displaced teen!Bobby's boyfriend. Canonically, when they sent the teens back to the past, they wiped their memories with one exception - bobby was allowed to retain his memories of being out as a teen, as a treat. I believe the intention here was just to make it a little less depressing, but it opened a possibility that Vecchio noticed. Present-day bobby does remember dating Romeo - he now has an adolescent crush on a character who is actually a viable romantic interest.

Romeo was late teens when we first saw him. Vecchio's comic takes place "nebulous sliding timeline" years later, but in the real world was about 7 years afterwards. On top of this, Vecchio added a line where Romeo says he was caught up in some time travel shenanigans of his own, and has aged an additional 10 years. This puts him in his 30s, the same vague age as Bobby.

Some people object to this on principle. The trope of rapidly aging a character to make them sexually viable is absolutely a thing in comics (think Layla Miller and Magik and how they both jarringly oscillate between being young children and sexualised young women. Or even think about Synch and Talon, and how they wrote an in universe reason for him to physically age, because they thought it would seem weird if he was still physically a teenager - which is bad writing but I concede it's less viscerally creepy than the magik and Layla stuff). The objection is basically that the aging up of an underage character to make them a viable love interest is creepy and weird - and I do pretty much agree with that.

Like, if someone wanted to age up an existing kid character like Gabby just to put her romantically with an adult, I would be right there with you saying that this is fucked up. So, yes, point granted.

However, not only would Romeo have been well into his 20s even without that 10 year boost, more importantly this is not an example of a pre-existing dude just being plucked out of his life and warped into a love interest role for bobby. He's a character who literally only exists to be a love interest for bobby. On top of that, weird time travel hijinks were always on the table with this. And I think that does change the situation. It's not "let's take this kid and age him up", it's "this couple transcends spacetime."

Idk maybe I could have explained that better, but the way I see it, this is a trope that you should watch out for, this particular case is not really a problem.

B) Wait, you're saying Romeo is more of a plot device than a character? Isn't that bad?

Yes, he kind of is, and no it isn't bad.

So, all good characters are plot devices. Ok, yeah in big unending serialised things like comic books and soap operas, characters do start to exist independently of story writing. But, in terms of actually writing a story, the characters are what they bring to the story. That can be in a very utilitarian plot way, or in a more loose thematic way, or, hell, comic relief. Characters are their purpose in the story. They can be more than that, but a well-written character can be identifiable by their narrative/aesthetic purpose in a given work.

*gets down off of soapbox*

Romeo's main purpose is to be a love interest for Bobby, and specifically to be a love-interest with empathy powers for Mr Emotional Repression. He is someone for Bobby to feel things with, to be vulnerable with. He's there to open bobby up (in the first place with teen!bobby) and to be the person he lets in (metaphorically). This is what Vecchio is doing; Bobby initially responds to emotional anguish by running and reverting, then eventually reaches catharsis by breaking down in front of Romeo.

With Orlando, Romeo is there to very literally facilitate the plot, but also to once again reveal Bobby's vulnerabilities, this time in a less positive way. Through Romeo we see Bobby's weaknesses, both in his powers at the time and his psychological failings.

This is good. This is fun. This is why I like romantic storylines in my comc books. I like how they can be used to tell us things about the characters, I like how they can heighten the emotional stakes, and drive conflict and resolution. It's good.

C) Bobby should be with a pre-existing character

My biggest bobby ship is with St. John so idk if I have a leg to stand on here. But one of the things I kept seeing when people were complaining about Romeo coming back was "bobby should be with Hank" and "Bobby should be with Warren" and like... erm... no?

Specifically, it was always phrased as "bobby should be given a new permanent, endgame love interest" which I think is the problem. Shipping is so often about assigning two people to each other forever and ever, but that's not necessarily a thing that canon ever needs to be conerned about in comic book world. And certainly not something it needs to bother with all of the time.

What I wanted was a romantic storyline for Bobby, and I got that. Yes, you could write a storyline with a pre-existing character (e.g. st. john) but you can have a dedicated love-interest guy instead. The important thing is that you actually write it. So, fundamentally I don't think either Hank or Warren would ever actually be considered as love interests for Bobby by editorial, but even if they were, the thing you would need to do is actually write that narrative, and it's not currently there at all imo.

I just find this so silly and weird. Let bobby date some rando it's fine. What matters is whether the story is compelling in its own right.

D) Isn't this a step backwards?

One objection to the writing that I've seen is that by dating his teenage boyfriend, Bobby is basically regressing. This is a step backwards for him, and is bad for that reason.

I agree and disagree. Yes it's a regression, and also I'm kind of into it.

What I mean is that Orlando actually introduces a lot of codependency between Romeo and Bobby. Bobby is literally reliant on Romeo to physically exist, and Romeo is physically stuck somewhere he cannot survive without him. So, like, that's messed up. Also they argue, Bobby is still closed off, uncomfortable with how vulnerable he is. Romeo is kinda clingy, but how else could he possibly act in this situation.

It is deliciously fucked up. And it's using a superhero/sci-fi premise to exaggerate an emotional conflict, to paint the internal into the external. We love to see it.

Orlando didn't really dive into it, beyond having mild conflict between them at times. But I dunno I like drama. I was excited for their to be drama. And if this storyline gets revisited at some point, I kinda hope they lean into it.

E) Monogamy Reigns

This isn't a response to any specific thing I've seen but more a vibe that's floating about. I already mentioned that when people ship, they so often favour this idea of one true endgame pairing, and monogamy is usually the norm. Hell, even polyshipping is usually an ot3, with a set limited number of partners.

Bobby and Romeo's relationship is open, like many relationships between gay men are. They are melodramatically romantic, and they are open. I love this.

We have wiccan and hulkling for cutesy wholesome gays. We have Jean-Paul and Kyle for marriage and monogamy. It's important, to me personally, to also have queer men who don't operate that way. Open relationships are very commonplace for queer men and to me there is something implicitly homophobic about seeing these relationships as less. Hell, I am a very monogamous person myself and I still feel very strongly about this.

I think people have a tendency to not understand what Vecchio and Orlando were trying to show here, and sometimes to take the romance less seriously because of it (oh, it's just a casual thing) and, no, that's not it.

So, yeah, I like it. This was a lot of words to say I like the pairing.

[plural-culture-is]

Im questioning wether i should even ask, im so hesitant about this.

Every time i go into a depressive period, i question in im really trans, if im really plural, ocd kicks in and worries about ways i might be awful.

So bear with me, if you dont answer this or the answer is painfully obvious or whatever i wouldn’t hold it against you.

As a young child i was severely abused by my father, and when we got away there was a period i don’t remember where i was in “psychosis” (quotes bc uncertainty), where i became an ape and was lost. I have only one memory from that time, where i came out of that to my mother calling my name and holding me. I only know of this time period because my mom told me about it.

Much later, when i was lonely i started to have imaginary friends, and i told my mom about them and she actually introduced the very beginning concept of tulpas to me and idfk why but she said that if they become aware and i stop being their friend they may get angry, and that sentient imaginary friends are called a tulpa. I worried about this, and idk if it was just my paranoia or something else but i did start to actualy get a vibe from my main imaginary friend like awareness, i could almost feel thoughts happening that were just sorta beyond a barrier. I stopped before anything else could happen, and i cried to my mom i was worried that my imaginary friend would hate me and become malevolent. She said that i’ll be alright, and that my imaginary friend probably still loves me.

(This is where things get confusing)

Few years gap, i am still very lonely but probably more, i start having the beginning signs of depression i think.

My mom started getting into new age stuff and psychic things, and i asked for a pendulum of my own to talk to spirits, one of which i formed a relationship with and even a “psychic link” (talking to eachother with our minds) and at some point after intrusive thoughts, some unhappiness and this other voice that would pretend to be that one, i stopped for fear of getting posessed.

Around this time, watched and listened to a lot more conspiracy theories in my house than we did before, stuff like you’d find on Gaia TV or Joe Rogan and others to give well-known examples. I would hear about people contacting or being contacted psychically by aliens, notably these ones colloquially called the Blue Avians. There was also a videogame i played at the time with alien bird people too. In anycase, i was lonely (and tbh kinda grieving no longer talking to the spirit one?) got the idea to deliberately try and make a psychic link out in the universe and i made one, i managed to talk to a blue avian and started what i thought a romantic relationship looked like with them. I talked to and interacted with them every day, very often. I eventually met another two “aliens” through them and now i was talking to 2-3 beings mentally for a while, while they told me about life in their world.

I went through a lot of denial and that i was crazy or it was in my head, which i mean yeah. I later remembered what my mom told me about years ago: tulpas. That sounds about right. And with my new internet access i looked into it, i found i was already doing what those people were or atleast i was pretty sure. But some things werent adding up, many of them said a tulpa was more a mental construct and that they 1, couldnt be mean to you for example, 2, couldnt talk besides when you wanted them to and so on, mine were too autonomous i guess. In anycase, i continued but acted both as if they were real alien beings elsewhere and a mental construction for a while. At some point then i found out about DID and saw eery similarities, that was my second theory about what was going on. At around this time i broke away from the conspiracy aliens thing, and started thinking more about spirits, and would talk to random and re-occuring ones often. At around this point but maybe well before i started to fall into psychosis and a lot of intrusive thoughts and even hallucinations. At this point i was going through a lot and all these conflicting and inconsistent worldviews were starting to get to me, aswell as me starting to realize but not knowing outright that i was queer. I learned more things that werent conspiracy theories or new age stuff, and i finally broke. I describe it as litterally there was countless pieces of my mind fighting eachother, as verbally and not and everything was clashing. I am not using metaphore here. I felt separated from my body and in a haze, much like when im co-conscious and not in “the driver’s seat”. I fell further into psychosis too. Eventually something was said that made my different conflicting worldviews a little more compatible on paper, and i survived. Then was recovery, still talking to “spirits” and stuff and even aliens. Up to and before this point my family was obsessed with “shadow work”, aka forcing yourself to look at trauma unessecarily. I was partly doing this bc i worried that me being queer was somehow from my father abusing me as a child. This is part of what contributed to that shattering.

So skipping a bunch of tedium, i started operating as if i was plural after a while of debunking stuff , i figured out that yes i definitely am queer and that its not a bad thing, but i still had doubts.

I still talk to my presumed alters often, but there is some funny business:

After setting up some walls or rooms in headspace, they don’t intrude as much and i dont hear them unless i wanna and vice versa

Im struggling to tell if its my internal echolalia or if its me saying everything they say, and sometimes the line is blurrier

They can say things on their own even things that surprise me, but so can i sorta

im almost certain we can’t full switch, or if we can im not sure if i will have any experience while the other is fronting, does this make us monoconscious?

We can go co-conscious pretty much on demand whenever we feel like it, and we can do a partial switch too i just have to relax and allow it

Im pretty much always fronting fully or partially, and always watching when another is fronting

I cant mentally hear them when i talk too, i either have to go quiet or pause for them, and when i do talk it either is too much chatter i cant process or i automaticaly somehow mute my minds ears to them. But, due to autism, talking even to ppl outside my head is like this where i either speak or listen no inbetween

I want to hopefully finally solve this and get on with my life. Thanks for reading/answering if you do

sorry, this ask has been our inbox too long and we haven't been able to come up with a response, so we're handing it off to the public to answer

[west-tokyo-incidents]

Animals I associate the masters with, WITHOUT using animals the douji already have. For no reason other than I wanna have a thought experiment with myself and how I associate shit.

Mizho/michel - separately, and owl and a coyote. As a single entity, badger. American, specifically.

Owl because of cool calmness, silence, deadly observation, and it's association with death in kemetic mythos.

Coyote because of their tenacity and sheer ability to adapt and survive, also they live in monogamous pairs in the wild.

Badger because the American Badger is the second most brutal bastard weasel to exist, second to the Honey Badger. But the Honey Badger is African and doesn't have the right vibes.

Fusataro - Jaguar

Look I listened to Neon Tiger once and it ruined me, but the Tiger belongs to Sophia and Lions don't jive right. Fusataro doesn't strike me as some in-your-face king type, no pride, no big roar, but can definitely kill a black caiman with a single bite to the skull. Also Black Jaguars are just badass and regal and I love them and I love Fusataro.

Kei - Rat!

This is an unsurprising one, but it's for more than just his teeth. He cares about his family, he's skittish, but he's not defenseless. I imagine him as a little bit pack-rat like, hoarding little things that might be useful in the future. Rats are very social animals that get depressed alone and I feel like he's a poor wet rat who's stuck in a cage with an aggressive smaller male(Vice) but he deals with it because the alternative is being alone.

Lady Gekko/Rune - Luna Moth/Praying Mantis

Listen I think my reasons for this are obvious. Luna Moth-Moon-Jealousy it fits. BUT ALSO. Luna Moths, once they mature, find love and then die. Which. Yeah. That tracks. And female Praying Mantises are fucking bad ass bugs with a reputation for killing their mates. I don't think I have to explain more than that.

Hana - Honey Badger

Okay I'm writing out my thoughts process as I decide because usually I associate her with a bear cub but I'm avoiding repeating animals and a bear is Eater's. Maybe a Tasmanian Devil but that feels... Almost too easy, I guess? Or maybe she gets the Honey Badger. Yeeee. Cause maybe as she grows her two big role models are probably Mizho and Akitsu and I can absolutely see her going batshit when she hits their age.

Akira - Show-Line Dog, probably something like a Doberman

This one is kinda rough, because I definitely associate him with a young male lion, one who doesn't have a pride yet but is looking to take one over. BUT... Idk if Orghullo's animal is a lion or a foo dog so I'm playing it safe. He's definitely an intelligent animal, and not a dog who's just for looks. He definitely can use his teeth if he has to.

Sumako - Ferret

Domestic, cute, cuddly, wants to hoard her favorite people to herself. But do not forget she is a carnivore and a weasel and ferrets thrive on a whole-prey diet and watching one devour a frozen-thawed mouse is an experience I'll never forget. I want one so bad.

Kaizo - Wild Boar

And now the hardest part. The good guys......

Changed from Hamster. I don't know why, and yes I realize Gauge's animal is a boar, BUT... when I think animal aus or like the daemon au and stuff I just. Keep coming back to a boar. Something something pigs=greedy animal, wild boar=violent pigs. So. Idk.

Yamato - Golden Retriever

Probably a rescue, especially one with a bad history but still has all the love in the world. I really don't think I have to explain this one.

Sayama - Domestic Cat

Aloof, cute, loving if socialized properly(she was not, her father was Dunstan, but I digress), and cunning.

Matsumoto - Grey Fox

Kia has laid claim on the red fox, but I feel like Matsumoto, especially following her sequence with Jun, is a lot more cunning than she lets on. She's meticulous and careful, though also skittish and would rather run than confront a larger threat.

Hibari - Black Footed Wild Cat

Highest K:D Ratio of any wild cat. Extremely protective of their family. Not to be under estimated for their size. Sharp witted, deadly, and smol.

Akitsu - Maned Wolf

Pretty legs Tall, diligent for danger, not quite as deadly as they seem but still a predator.

Musashi - Donkey/Mule

Yoichi - Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

Changed from moose because. Let's be real, they're not attractive animals and it's hard to take it seriously when I'm trying to write shit.

But he's an ass.

Okay, terrible jokes aside, Donkeys and their ilk are livestock guards against canine predators like coyotes and wolves and they're merciless and stubborn as hell when they have a target. They can be loving and mischievous with their owners.

Listen I'm a dog trainer for a living and there is no animal on this planet that fits this man more than this very specific dog breed. Calm, focused, very smart, literally the perfect first-time-owner dog in my opinion. Easy going, forgiving, would give you the world if they could.

[danggirlronpa]

Oh! Sending in another ask because I forgot! To talk about my girl! Bipolar Kaede! Tbh - I feel like Kaede is also very much ADHD & Autistic too, with her special interest being music/piano. I like to imagine she's somewhat similar to me in the respect that when ADHD hyperfixation combines with a hypomanic episode, she becomes Unstoppable in writing music. Which is exactly what happens to me with fanfic! I have written I think... 20,000 words in one sitting before? You can get Super productive, which is really nice, but I tend to immediately slide into a depressive episode once I come down from a hypomanic one, which is not so nice. Also. You say SO MUCH SHIT YOU REGRET. I think the only times I've ever left negative comments on things were in hypomanic episodes - and like, I wasn't necessarily rude, but I still Would Not have said that if I wasn't in a hypermanic episode. I would have just clicked off instead of saying something was out of character - especially since I DO believe you are completely entitled to write OOC stuff. I do too, though I usually try to mark it someway to show that it's Not my usual interpretation of a character - but that's also the thing! People have different interpretation even if I don't agree with them! Normally I just. Click off of that type of stuff, but in hypomanic episodes - nope. My reasoning goes out the window. I imagine Kaede is very similar to that - not necessarily saying bad stuff, just... maybe a bit more outspoken, without a filter. She probably says super embarrassing things only to after the episode go "why did I say that?!" You Really do overshare. Truly.

I'm actually in a mixed episode right now, which means my filter is somewhat loose still. That's part of why I'm sending in so many asks - I just get really, really passionate when I show hypomanic symptoms. I have So Many thoughts I feel like I'm vibrating.

As for depressive episodes and Kaede, I very much feel that when she was in them, things that she would normally brush off, such as people calling her Piano Freak, would be a lot harder to stomach. I imagine that even friendly teasing that would normally be fine would send her into tears in a depressive episode - she's a lot more fragile and sensitive than she normally is.

Also! I think it would be kind of cool if Kaede had delusions occasionally- I've experienced delusional thinking in hypomanic episodes (when I was young, like, 10 or so? I would look up conspiracy theory YouTube videos when in hypermanic episodes, which I obviously now avoid doing) and I think it would be cool if Kaede had delusions too. Maybe about being a reincarnated musician something? Idk. Also, sometimes in hypermanic or mixed episodes I get really paranoid that people are lying to me/gaslighting me, or they secretly hate me - I imagine she would have this, too, where she would get really paranoid that people don't actually like her. That they're all just lying to her about liking her. I imagine there's even an incident where she snaps at Shuichi to stop pretending to be her friend - which would obviously upset him greatly, and he'd have to convince her that he actually does like her.

Medicine makes bipolar SO much better, in my experience- so a lot of the more extreme symptoms would be when she's not on meds. After she gets on meds, I like to think she stabilizes a lot more! I am always sending my love to Latuda. That shits a miracle drug tbh.

But yeah!!! I can't believe I got so excited about Sato I forgot about my girl Kaede. For shame!

Autistic Kaede my beloved T_T The piano hyperfixation...the scripts for cheering others up and having no idea what to do when someone diverts from it...lots of ultimate students are autistic-coded by nature but Kaede is Up There. (And you could absolutely argue ADHD too!! Lots of comorbidity there.)

I don't talk about this very often here, but I have severe anxiety - like, severe enough that I've talked with my therapist about going on disability - and one of my symptoms was also delusions! Up until about college age, I really genuinely believed that everyone around me could read minds, and was using it to constantly watch me and mock me when I thought anything slightly wrong. I can definitely see Kaede grappling with that type of social paranoia! I think it could feed a lot into her consistently pushing to be friends with everyone, as a way to assuage her own anxieties. And it makes her execution even more tragic, knowing that she's not just breaking down about not being friends with everyone, but that her delusions are also breaking her down on a totally different level.

[00bummer]

i stopped using this blog like 4 years ago bc i became less catastrophically depressed and also i felt that after my last major breakup i was using it in a really self destructive & self flagellating way, & i pretty much stopped using twitter like a year ago too because i could feel myself becoming a certified Boyfriend Girl and it was annoying. and i haven’t been journaling for a few years either. idk why, i think maybe bc i was just sick of thinking & talking about myself. i haven’t been in therapy or taken any medication in like 3 years either. idk, i’ve just been trying to live my life & it’s mostly been working. i don’t live with my mom anymore. i have a really wonderful partner and we’re very in love, & it’s been two years & i haven’t done anything to blow it up yet. i have a semi-grownup job that i make like zero money at & i’m way too emotionally entangled with, but it doesn’t make me want to kill myself, so it beats making lattes. i still feel a white hot lance of panic in my brain when i think about the future, but there’s nothing i can really do about that. i’m like a “normal” weight now, which upsets me if i actually think about it, so mostly i just lock that part of my brain in a cage and call it a day. idk. maybe that’s “recovery” maybe i’m just being a coward about it. i feel a lot of guilt bc i used to pay attention to the world and what was happening in it, & i had a lot of opinions about justice and fairness and the fate of humanity, and now i pretty much just play d&d and listen to podcasts of other people playing d&d. i only want to listen to the same albums and watch the same movies i already like. i think i should probably make new friends bc all my old ones keep moving away, but the thought of doing that makes me really tired. i’m only 27 which feels too young for my personality and interests to become this fossilized.

& i know this all sounds like complaining, but i’m mostly pretty happy these days. things are more good than bad.

idk why i felt the need to write this all out, i think i’ve just been feeling like… intellectually flat these days. like i used to spend a lot more time thinking about. uh everything i guess. i feel like i sacrificed my interest and curiosity for the world in exchange for being less miserable and it worked but now i’m kind of bored.

i really don’t know what the point of this is!

i guess if you’re out there, so am i, & i hope you’re doing well.

[hanjisick]

Hello!!💗 How are you? Hope you are doing just fine. Sooo i don't really know how your ships work so i am sorry if i made you uncomfortable and if the request's are closed then you can always just delete it i wouldn't mind. Also i apologize if this is too long and for any spelling mistakes english is not my first langauge.

• I am a russian female, my height is about 1.61 cm, weight about 51 kg, brown curly/wavy medium kinda hair, big brown eyes with long and thick lashes (people say that they can see planets in them which is very weird because idk), i have a griffin tattoo on the botton side of my left leg and as much as my figure is very feminine i work out so i pack some mucles and a six pack. Usually my skin is very pale and snowy but in the summer it turns into a honey like toned skin and i have a few beauty marks.

• I am an istp, usually people don't come and talk to me because i always look like i would kill someone (and i would) but in the end i just really care about the people i love. Very very shy and polite around people and strangers but i get very extravorted around people that i am comfotable with. I have a very hard time judging people and i am always able to understed their side of the story and how they feel even if i didn't went through the same thing they did. I can read people's mood just by looking into their eyes most of the time. Very very dark sense of humor for no reason (and a very broken one too). I perefer to listen then talk because it makes me happy that people trust me enough to tell me random/deep stuff about themselves.

• I really love video games and P.S (mostly fighting games like tekken or god of war), used to play a piano, i draw quit a lot (mostly people and it's just sketching), sing, very good at sports, used to pole dance, and i have some experiense with judo and thai boxing (fights and breaking people's bones but we don't talk about that), if i watch tv it's just national geografic wild/HD, i absolutely love reading books and watching movies (mostly action and comedy sometimes horror too).

• I don't like being controlled and forced to either do something or choose between something. I would rather stay at home but if the person i care about would want to go outside i can't say no because as long as i am with them i am happy. I have like only two friends other then my cat and barley talk to one of them though my social battery is very low and i like to be alone when theres an opportunity most of the time.

• I speak 8 langauges, absolutely love animals but cats are my favorite, i have never being babied before and prefer to take care of others, theres like 5% chance i will find someone unattractive, another reason why i don't talk to people anymore is because i am afraid they will use me because i was being nice to them. I had horrible depression for almost 4 years when i was 11/10 and no one catched up on that until a phone call with a teacher that i had, alot of nightmeres and illusions, i harmed myself too (still have scars) everyday and had to take a pill and go to a therapist but now i am okay and happy (but still never felt genuine happines). I have a habbit of playing with a ring on my finger that i always wear, already at a young age i was very independet (5 or 6 years old maybe) already knew how to cook and do house chores and i didn't grow up with the most normal family i was mostly a daddies girl never had a mother figure (we were strangers living under the same roof) and an 8 years older sister who always pushed me away until she begin dating her now husbend and i have a baby nephew.

• I have all the love langauges but the biggest two are quality time and physical touch.

Again i apologize if it's too long, made you uncomfortable and for spelling mistakes.

I really love your writing's but don't forget to take care of yourself and i hope you will have a good day/night!!~💕💗💞

i ship you with…

jisung!

your intimidating aura shook something inside of him. he would immediately need to know more about you and would be willing to do anything to get your attention.

he found it adorable how similar you actually were to him. both of you would be shy around eachother, only to gradually become louder until the two of you were always a giggling, fun mess together.

jisung would love nothing more than to spend his days by your side, tracing your tattoo in awe as he talked about absolutely anything that came to his mind.

but nothing sold him more than the fact that you both loved to watch national geographic, always down to binge episodes over a bowl of popcorn and cuddles.

he would love to help you relive the inner child experiences that you never had. if jisung is good at anything, it’s making others feel safe and loved.

yandere jisung

you enjoy being alone most of the time? say goodbye to that. you wouldn’t be able to pry the boy off of you, no matter how strong you are.

the only person you would have to deal with is jisung however, since he would be happy to do anything in order to stay home with you all day and all night with you and your cats.

he is absolutely enthralled with all of your hobbies and talents. video games? he would love to play with you, but he was also content with simply laying on your lap and watching the game. your sketches? they’re all hidden in a drawer for him to look through. singing? he would beg to hear you, to sing along with you, anything— but only he was allowed to hear your angelic voice.

but be careful talking about your experiences and family— all it takes is a mention that you dislike someone and jisung will immediately have them taken care of. learning about your past has only made him more possessive and protective over you, and he’s willing to do absolutely anything to make sure that nobody hurts you ever again.

[zerobaseonefics]

tw: rape, attempt and idk what else??

so basically my depression worsened and i had an attempt on wednesday, this week. school is too much already and it barely started, my whole family is a problem and my friends(?) are making jokes about me which i find somehow funny but it also hurts me

my family is talking about how my breasts grow so fast and how they are bigger than most of the women in my family and even men are saying this which makes me uncomfortable… my parents also keep telling me if i keep misbehaving (sleeping when its daytime) i will be sent to my family in vietnam (im not that close with them because theyre pretty much aggressive and i’m bad at speaking vietnamese, they can’t speak polish, so it’s hard to communicate)

the jokes my friends(?) make are about how a guy almost raped me but i managed to push him off of me.. the jokes are like “omg youre like literally our hulk” etc. // i do find the jokes funny sometimes but then i think about the time it happened and i feel grossed out by myself and feel like crying

also all the panic attacks i had in the recent weeks are all too much.. and it’s too much pressure thinking about everything at once, i just can’t sort it out in my head

even tho my problems may not be that serious, i still can’t handle them anymore. thank you for “listening”to me, i’m really thankful for you<33

~🤍

first of all, i know it's hard to keep that in mind sometimes, and that's why i want to remind you that you should never make a hierarchy of problems. your problems ARE serious, and you should not delegitimize them like that. your feelings are valid no matter what your issue is, if it makes you feel that way then there is a reason and it's your right to be hurt.

i'm genuinely pissed off hearing about the comments on your body from your family 💀 as i hit puberty very young, i also had that problem of adults making inappropriate remarks on it, and i know how it hurts and can mess with your self esteem and the way you feel in your body. avoid the people who make this kind of comments as much as you can. depending on the links you have with your family, try and tell them that it makes you uncomfortable. tell the women in your family especially that it's even worse when it's men and hopefully they will stand up for you if they ever tell you something about it in front of them. this is so annoying why do they care about your body like that 💀

about your friends and their jokes!! even if it can make you laugh sometimes, it's better to tell them straight that you don't like it. if you let them get away with it for too long, they might not understand why you're against it when you used to laught about it. maybe they don't mean any harm, but if they're actual good friends they'll respect you and stop with these jokes. if they are not, i guarantee you that you'll be better off without them. you're very strong, okay? what happened to you when you got assaulted is in no way your fault and it is not taking away your value. don't forget i call you pure >:(

as for the panick attacks, do you have any methods to calm them down?? as someone who suffers from it as well, i had a time when i was younger where they were very frequent. i have less now because i found some methods that help me calm down easier. if you can, press your back against something cold, a wall for example. if you're not alone, try to put your hand on a friend's chest to feel the way they are breathing and try to match your breathing with their. also, i have a friend who put their face in a huge bowl of water. try these next time you have a panick attack, and if doesn't work, look for other ones! there is surely one that will work for you.

i assume you're much younger than me so i will treat you as a little sibling and talk to you according to my experiences as someone who went through similar things as you. if you ever wanna talk about anything, i will always take my time to answer to you and try to give you advices. take care of you, you're valuable, and you should never hurt yourself <3 better days are surely waiting for you in the future, and it would be a shame to miss them, right?

please come back to me at least once a week so i can make sure you're doing good >:( take care, pure 🩶

[novaheart8]

I like this theory, but my hobby is trying to disprove theories, so this was my work on your theory. (N is Cyrus and Cynthia's child) It's wayyy too long to put here so I put it in a pastebin. It might feel passive-aggressive but honestly rn I'm just a little angry so it's nothing to do with you. Can't put links in questions so go to pastebin and put /UrFQjAJH after the link. If you don't know what pastebin is or something, well uhh idk what to say :P

Thank you for this!! I actually enjoyed reading it /g. I think there's a huge misunderstanding in the disproval of the theory concerning the timeline though, so I'll explain it more here if you'd like to read it (otherwise, you can skip ahead). Then, if you would like to make another argument, I'll be happy to read it!! /g (I CAN'T STRESS THE /GENUINE ENOUGH. I ENJOY DISCUSSIONS!!!)

The idea was always that N was kidnapped as a toddler/young child. Never as a baby. Because you're right! Ghetsis and the rest of Team Plasma would want nothing to do with a baby.

I'm not too sure where you got the "N is 14 during Unova" from. Because for my theory, he's 18 during BW (and therefore 20 in B2W2), and N was canonically designed to be around that age range (18-20) anyway. Which means, following that Unova took place 10 years later than Sinnoh, that N was 8 at that time period - meaning he's 3 years older than Team Galactic, and that actually helps me since I can pinpoint that N was kidnapped at 3! Thank you for that, since that was a detail I overlooked!

It is heavily implied, if not canon, that Cyrus is depressed due to the loss of Rotom (besides his parents emotionally neglecting him), because he had never felt so connected to a Pokémon. That much, I understand; and in fact, had I been up for writing any more, I would've written more about them! However, I simply haven't had the motivation to write more stories. In my eyes, the loss of Rotom was a separate life-changing event that happened much earlier to Cyrus (when he was still a child), and wasn't what pushed him to form Team Galactic and remake the world to be without emotion and spirit. The loss of his family is what I believe pushed him into that.

I'm not going to deny that the line that mentioned he cared about others was about his Commanders, because it absolutely was! But I like to think it was also about his family, though Cynthia, at this point, wouldn't acknowledge that.

Now, as far as my theory posting being a big part of the Mizuhikishipping tag, I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that there simply isn't a ton of recent Mizuhikishipping content besides this. I'm in the same boat with you in wishing that there were more posts for them!! Sorry if you're getting tired of seeing my posts though. I think tumblr has a feature that allows you to block tags? Maybe? If so, I always tag my theory posting as such (#the cyrus and cynthia are n's parents theory), so you can block that tag. Hopefully that'll free up some space as you look for other content!

Your friend should not, under any circumstance, push my theory down your throat. I am deeply flattered they believe in my theory, but at the end of the day, it is just a theory, and is very likely not going to be made canon, no matter how much anyone would like for it to be. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I know I'd feel the same way in your situation.

I hope this all leaves you with a better impression. Again, if you want to talk more about it, you can leave me another pastebin link or something! I'd be happy to discuss this theory with you, since it's something I treasure, and knowing its flaws can help me to fortify it. Thank you so much for your time, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night, anon! ❤