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writing-wh0re · 3 years ago

Note

I can have one where Peter is a fuck boy and unknowingly slept with Y/N (stark) and they meet at the tower on a group meeting day. (and he in front of the avengers pretends to be innocent). Love you

All writing will be #writing-wh0re-requests.

Peter Park x Female Reader - Tony Stark's Daughter.

Words: 3,625 - longest I've ever written.

Warnings: Smut18+, Vaginal intercourse, Male and Female Performing Oral, Praise Kink, Unprotected Sex, Fuckboy Peter Parker, Angst.

A/n: I hope you enjoy this, I took three hours to write and edit this. I got a little carried away with it (I think) and I apologise for it being sooo long.

So far your senior year had been amazing, you were destined to finish top of your class which would make your dad happy and you had also been offered an internship with him, which some of your classmates thought was bullshit but hey, considering you didn’t want to go to some flashy expensive school, you were doing pretty good, even with your dad’s help.

That was until you went out to your first party with your best friend Macie, she thought it was about time you let loose and have fun. You didn’t want to go and had even told your mum and dad who only encouraged you to go out, so that plan backfired. So here you were, standing in Macie’s living room, red solo cup in your hand while dancing with your best friend, happy to have listened to her for once and let loose.

“How do you know this many people?”

Macie shakes her head “I don't know them, they’re Tyler’s friends from his school.” I nod in agreement, looking around the room for Tyler, Macie's boyfriend who is chatting with a guy I’ve never seen before. His brown slightly curly hair, puppy dog eyes and a smile that causes butterflies inside of my stomach. Macie grabs my shoulder, following my line of sight before laughing and shaking her head.

“Peter Parker.”

“Peter Parker” I repeat his name, loving the way it sounds as it falls from my lips. “He’s fucking hot.”

Macie laughs at me before nodding. “Yeah he’s alright, he goes to school with Tyler. He’s a bit of a ladies man but I don’t know too much about him.”

“He’s into science and technology?” I almost feel bad for questioning the boy's intelligence, judging him solely on his handsome appearance.

“Yeah, Tyler, Peter and a guy called Ned won their last science fair two weeks ago.” Macie informs. “Let's go say hi.” Macie grabs my arm pulling me through the body’s of unknown teenagers before we come face to face with Peter and Tyler.

“Hey babe, we were just talking about you.” Tyler pulls Macie into his side, kissing the side of her head.

My eyes fall to Peter, both of us smiling at each other. I feel my skin fall hot slightly as his eyes wander over my body. I mentally thank myself for wearing my red leather shirt and lace crop top.

“I’m Peter.”

“Y/n.” I smile before hearing someone clear their throat. Turning my attention to Macie, a cocky smirk on her face.

“Tyler and I want to play beer pong, want to join?”

“You’d have to be partners though.” Tyler quickly adds, before walking away with Macie to the table to set the game up, not even waiting for a response.

I look to my side slightly silently asking Peter if he’d like to join.

“I need words Y/n.” I take in a sharp breath at what Peter just said to me.

“Uh, would you, um like to be my partner for beer pong?” Peter licks his lips before smirking at me.

“Of course.” His hand falls to the middle of my back as he guides me to the table Tyler and Macie had just set up. Macie raises her eyebrow at me, causing me to blush and shake my head, knowing exactly what she is thinking.

“Okay so standard rules, but we haven’t decided what the winner gets yet.” Tyler states.

I watch Macie stand on her tippy toes whispering something into Tylers ear causing him to chuckle.

“Okay, the winner has to make out with their team member.”

I sigh at my best friend before nodding.

“Fine, okay.”

“Sound a little more excited.” Peter whispers, flicking his eyes from mine to my lips. I roll my eyes, ignoring his comment as Macie flips a coin.

“Heads.” I call quickly, watching Macie reveal the coin, heads being the winner.

Tyler throws Peter the ball, catching it perfectly in one swift motion.

“Fuck.” I whisper to myself, seeing him smirk slightly. He surely didn’t hear me, did he?

I stand beside Peter as he lines up the first shot, landing the ball into the cup causing Tyler to groan.

“Lucky shot.” Macie mumbles before lining up to take her shot, missing the cup as I pout.

“Awh Mace.” Macie narrows her eyes at me before flipping me off.

I grab the ball, lining up the shot, before I can let go of the ball, Peter’s hand falls to my elbow, his other placed in the middle on my back.

“Lower, otherwise you’ll miss and we want to win.” His warm breath fans my neck causing my heartbeat to pick up. I let the ball slip through my fingertips, missing the cup I was originally planning on but landing the ball in the one behind.

“That’s unfair.” Macie complains before drinking from the cup.

The game continues with us losing our lead, until the last cup for both teams. I take a deep breath, knowing it's my go and praying that I won’t miss this shot.

“Breathe, lower your arm, line it up and sink it.” Peter whispers, his lips against my ear, his hands placed on my hips. I follow his instructions, taking a breath, lowering my arm and letting go of the ball. The room feels like it slows down as the ball bounces on the table, landing into the cup.

“Good girl.”

An uncontrollable whimper leaves my lips which causes his grip on my hips to tighten, feeling my arousal pool in my panties.

“Holy shit, you won!” Macie cheers, clapping her hands as Tyler follows suit.

I don’t get a chance to respond to Macie as my body is spun around, my chest bumping into Peter’s. One of his hands cupping my cheek, the other still on my hip, his lips locking onto mine. I feel my body relax against his lips, putting my arms around his neck deepening our kiss.

Peter smiles against my lips, everyone around us whooping and hollering at our interaction. We pull away from each other, before he leans back in, quickly pecking my lips.

*Optional but I listened to this song while writing this next part*

“I love this song, Y/n come dance.” Macie almost squeals, grabbing my arm and pulling me from Peter’s embrace. “Was that as good as it looked?”

“God yes.”

Macie smiles at me before mouthing the words ‘she got that rich girl la vibe.’ gesturing to me as I flip my hair over my shoulder, laughing at my best friend. Macies hands fall to my hips, swaying to the beat with me, I place my arms around her neck singing the words with her.

Macie goes wide eyed slightly before letting go of my hips, I raise my eyebrow about to protest her actions before feeling a familiar grip. I tilt my head back, resting on his shoulder grinding my ass against his crotch, his grip tightening on my hips.

“Behave.”

I roll my eyes, spinning around in his embrace, without a second thought I lean forward, kissing up his neck before softly biting his earlobe.

“Make me.” I dont have a second to think before I’m being pulled behind Peter, a smug smile on my face. He drags me through the crowd, banging on the bathroom door before pulling me through the door with him.

His lips are instantly on mine, my back against the door, his fingertips running up and down my sides. I grab his wandering hand, placing it on my boob causing him to groan softly. I bite his bottom lip, pulling back as our eyes lock together. His lips fall to my neck, kissing and biting the skin.

“You’re fucking gorgeous.”

His compliment causes a shiver to run down my spine, my fingers running through his hair, pulling on his curly locks earning a moan from his lips. The warmth of his body leaves mine, grabbing my hips and picking me up, I softly squeal, shocked how easily he lifted me. Peter places me on the bathroom counter, tugging on top as I pull the flimsy lace fabric from my body, his lips instantly kissing my boobs, swiping his tongue across my nipple.

“Fuck.” I hiss, watching Peter pull my nipple between his teeth. Peter kisses down my body, pulling my skirt up letting it sit around my waist.

“You’re dripping for me.” Peter presses against my clit through the fabric of my g-string. I slowly rock my hips up, attempting to get some friction.

“Needy little girl.”

I whimper at his words, feeling myself become wetter by the second. A gasp falls from my lips as Peter pulls my panties to the side, blowing on my glistening heat.

“Please.” I beg, causing Peter to chuckle. He trails feather light kisses up my thighs before licking a stripe from my core to my clit. On instinct my fingers tangle in his hair, my head falling back against the mirror, mouth agape as moans and gasps fall from my lips like water.

“Yes, fuck.”

Peter slides a finger inside of me, causing my pussy to clench around the contact. His lips cover my clit, sucking on the bundle of nerves earning a hiss from me. Peter adds another finger, pumping in and out of my pussy, my hand slaps across my mouth, muffling my cries of pleasure. Peter looks up at me, using his free hand to pull my elbow.

“Let me hear you.”

I flutter my eyes closed, Peter’s lips on my thigh, sucking and biting the skin, his fingers still buried deep inside of me.

“I’m close.”

The second the words escape me, I regret them. Peter pulls away from me, standing to undress himself. Without a second thought I fall to my knees, looking up at him through my lashes.

“Naughty girl.”

My hands fall to his pants, unbuttoning his jeans before hurriedly unzipping them. I palm his cock through his underwear, a breathless moan escaping from his lips. I tug at the fabric, having his help to pull it off. His dick springs free, my breath hitching at the size of him.

I take him in my hand, pumping up and down slowly, swirling my tongue around the head. Peter bites his lip, his fingers brushing through my hair, his eyes focusing on my every move. I lick from the base to the tip before taking him fully in my mouth, bobbing my head up and down. The sounds Peter makes cause my pussy to ache, his fingers pull on my hair, helping to guide my mouth. I gag around him as he hits the back of my throat, an unholy sound falling from his lips at the contact.

Peter pulls my mouth off him, pulling me up by my arms, placing me on the counter again. I grab his cock, running it up and down my slit, causing Peter to chuckle.

“Someone’s eager.” I simply answer him by positioning his cock at my entrance, hooking my legs around his waist to pull him into me.

I moan at the feeling of him inside of me, his eyes flutter closed at the contact, moaning at the sensation.

“You feel so good.” I smirk at him, watching his eyes flick to where our bodies meet, his thumb brushing against my clit.

I pull Peter closer to me, locking our lips together as he slides in and out of me, deeper with each thrust, causing my body to tingle, the speed of his thumb picking up before slowing right back down.

I pull away from our kiss, trailing kisses down his jaw, running my tongue down his neck, sucking and biting the skin. Peter grips my ass at the contact of my lips, spanking me hard as I rack my nails down his back.

“Just like that Peter.” I whisper in his ear, softly biting his earlobe as he groans.

“Fucking so good.”

I feel the band inside of me tighten, my pussy tightening around his cock.

“Cum for me, come on baby.” My eyes roll back, shocks of electricity flowing through me, holding onto Peter tight. Peter moans against my shoulder, biting the skin before finding his own release.

Before he pulls out, Peter kisses me, holding my face in his hands.

“You’re incredible.” Blush heats up my cheeks as he pulls out of me, hissing at the loss of contact. Peter and I both get dressed quickly, walking back out to the party, moving through the crowd to find Macie and Tyler.

I lock eyes with Macie as her mouth falls open, quickly rushing over to me and pulling me away from Peter.

“You had sex.”

“Shh, don’t tell the whole party.”

Macie rolls her eyes, moving my hair over my shoulder before wincing.

“Have fun explaining that one to your dad.”

I go wide eyed slightly, turning to the hallway mirror and seeing three hickies on my neck.

“Fucking hell.”

Macie chuckles at my expense, pulling me with her to go back to Peter and Tyler. I frown my brows, Tyler now by himself.

“Uh, where did Peter go?” I question as Tyler shrugs. I quickly look around the living room, my eyes landing on Peter watching him slip out the front door without a word.

“Did he just leave?” Macie asks almost dumb founded.

“Guess so.”

“Don’t beat yourself up Y/n, just be lucky you didn’t sleep with Peter, he’s a bit of a fuckboy to be honest.” Tyler chuckles as I feel my body fall cold. Tyler looks between myself and Macie, choking on his drink slightly. “You fucked him.”

“I’m going to head home.” I mumble, Macie quickly pulling me into a hug, walking me to her front door, the same one Peter had just ducked out of.

“You can stay.”

“It’s fine Macie, I want to shower and sleep in my own bed.” Macie smiles weakly at me, pulling me into another embrace. “I’ll text you.”

Macie nods in response as I pull my phone out, calling Happy to pick me up.

The next morning I wake up feeling rough, hating that I mixed different alcohol’s and feeling off about having slept with a complete stranger, knowing how unlike me that is.

“Good morning Y/n, your dad would like to see you in the kitchen.” Friday’s voice bounces off my bedroom walls. I groan at the announcement, grabbing a scrunchie to throw my hair up in a messy ponytail. I quickly look over my outfit, sweatpants and a stark industries crop jumper, good enough. I grab a pair of socks before walking out onto the cold tiles.

“Friday summoned me.” I announce walking into the kitchen, seeing my dad and the avengers sitting around the table. “Oh awesome.” I whisper.

“And what time did you get home?”

“Eleven, maybe.”

I open the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and sitting on the bench, facing everyone.

“How was the party? You’ll have to tell us everything.” Wanda smiles as I nod.

“Y/n Stark, what is that on your neck?” My dad bellows, standing up and tilting my head, looking at the hickies on my neck.

“Nothing.” I push my dad away as everyone at the table snickers.

“You did tell her to go out and party.” Steve states causing my dad to turn and point at the super soldier.

“Stay out of this Rogers.”

“She’s young Tony, let her enjoy her last few weeks of school.” Nat pipes up causing my dad to tut and sit back down.

‘Thank you.’ I mouth to Steve and Nat as they both smile and nod at me.

“So why do you look like you’re having a meeting?”

“We are welcoming a new member to the avengers.” My dad states, sipping his coffee.

“Right, so why did you want me here for that?”

“Because you haven’t met him yet and you’re both going to be interning for me in a few weeks, thought it might be good to be acquainted.” I nod in response to my dad, taking a sip of my water.

“They’re all waiting for you.” I hear Happy’s voice say as he walks into the room, all of the avengers stand and look behind me, I turn and look over my shoulder, feeling my heart beat pick up, my mouth falling dry.

“Peter.” His name falls from my lips in shock.

Peter’s eyes lock onto me as he swallows harshly.

“Peter, buddy, welcome.” My dad greets him like an old friend, his eyes moving from mine to my dads.

I feel a hand grip my forearm, a gasp pulling me out of my thoughts, I quickly pull out of the grip.

“Get out of my head Wanda.”

“He did this.” Wanda whispers gesturing to my neck, Nat and Steve both looking at me. I hold my finger to my lips, pleading with my eyes.

“How much did you see?” Nat whispers to Wanda. I don’t hear Wanda’s response as my dad calls me over to him. I quickly slip off the bench, Nat with a small smirk on her face. I sigh softly knowing they know.

“You called.”

“Peter Parker, this is my daughter Y/N Stark, she will be interning with you and is typically on our communications for missions.” My dad states as Peter puts out his hand for a headshake, I scoff before accepting his gesture.

“So what’s your ability?”

“He’s Spiderman, isn’t it great to finally put a face to the suit.” My mum says, standing next to Happy. Instantly, everything from last night makes sense, the smirk he had when I whispered, the soft touches, leaving the party abruptly. It all makes sense, he knew what he was doing. He could read me like a fucking book.

“Y/n is very fond of you, she studied your web abilities.” My dad states, causing me to run my hand down my face.

“Ah, well, maybe you should show me what you learnt and I could fill in any blanks.” Peter states, causing my dad to hum in approval.

“Why don’t you do that now while I get paperwork ready for you to sign.” My dad smiles. I feel a hand cup my shoulder, looking to the right and seeing Steve.

“Steve Rogers.”

Peter grabs his outstretched hand, wincing slightly at the grip Steve gives. I slightly elbow the super soldier, knowing Wanda told him what she saw.

“Maybe Banner should go with them, do you want a teenage boy to be left alone with your teenage daughter?” Steve asks, my dad sighs before chuckling.

“Clearly she was with a teenage boy last night, I’m sure Peter here is harmless compared to last night's company.”

I hear Nat and Wanda giggle before passing it off as something else.

“Go.” My dad instructs, I sigh, turning away from him and leading the way to the lab.

The walk to the lab is silent, only my dad’s voice bouncing off the walls asking the group why they’re being weird.

I walk over to my desk, grabbing the file on ‘Web Slinger’ and handing it to Peter.

“Take it.”

Peter’s hand brushes against mine before he grabs the file, sitting in the chair beside mine.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I scoff, shaking my head. “Oh yeah because you gave me time to tell you.”

Peter sighs, putting the file on my desk before pulling my chair closer to him.

“Could have told me beforehand.”

“It didn’t seem to matter, how was I supposed to know who you were?”

Peter stays quiet, his eyes looking everywhere but mine.

“Not like you stayed afterwards for us to actually have a conversation.”

“I had shit to do, people to save.” Peter states, now looking at me dead in the eyes.

“Fine, I get that but couldn’t you give me your number or some way of contacting you?”

Peter once again stays quiet.

“Did you tell them? Because Captain America seems to be protective.”

I scoff, rolling my eyes. “No, I didn’t tell them. Wanda Maximoff read my mind, guess she told him.” Peter sighs before I continue, “Look, we can just forget it, okay? You’re a part of their team now and we’re just going to have to move on.”

Peter’s hand falls to my knee, his thumb rubbing against the fabric of my sweatpants.

“What if we don’t move on? What if we start something?”

“Peter, I don’t want you to feel you have to start something because I’m your boss's daughter, if you want to forget it ever happened we can.”

Peter tuts, moving his hand from my knee to my face.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I meant what I said last night, you’re incredible” My heartbeat picks up, butterflies erupting inside of me causing Peter to smirk. “I have an effect on you.”

“Cocky arent you.”

Peter smirks smugly, before brushing his lips against mine.

“If you don’t want to try this, stop me.” Peter hesitates for a few seconds before I close the gap between us, kissing him. Peter’s hands move under my thighs, picking me up from the chair and placing me on my desk.

“Peter Parker!” Peter jumps away from me at the shouting of my dad’s voice. “You two have some explaining to do.”

Peter scratches the back of his neck, looking at me as I shrug lightly.

“Maximoff told me, I should have listened to Rogers, but don't tell him I said that.” My dad walks over to us, grabbing the chair Peter once sat in. “I’m listening.”

Peter takes a deep breath before explaining it all to my dad, leaving out a few details as I but in to fill any holes.

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keingleichgewicht · 3 years ago

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WERE YOU KIDDING ABOUT THE ASK GAME if not i dont have any specific lyrics in mind but i always thought the lyrics to the mill were so cool and maybe you could get some thoughts out of them? :0

YEAH GOD OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE MILL. LET’S TALK ABOUT UHHHHHHHHH [THROWS DARTBOARD]

this line. this MIGHT go on for a while so i will............ readmore

so the mill feels kind of notably different to the rest of the pafl songs, which tend to be unusually literal for lyric, either straightforward retellings of events (punch it, punk!) or character piece monologues set to plot visuals (strike 3) or both (all of them, but for instance particularly comfort zone, which is just dmitry’s horrible manifesto until it gets hijacked by a death sentence in the second verse.) the mill is a lot more like what we expect from poetry these days, which is to say it’s heavy on imagery, low on clarity, and fucking confusing!

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold on to your battered hand Rocked to sleep beneath the snow, she is bathed in youthful glow ‘Strong enough to let it go,’ he says, but darling, I don’t know

a lot of the mill is about circles. this is in the name: a mill is something which turns. a waterwheel is a circle, a grindstone is a circle. it’s even in the melody: the chorus is a cyclic, pentatonic four-note riff that keeps going up and down and up its own ladder, chasing its own tail, not really reaching resolution. and then it’s also in, you know, the story:

the meat grinder!!!! everyone’s favorite fucking hellhole!!!! it is only semi-explicitly identified in the song but that’s because it’s a concept from the source material - both tarkovsky’s stalker and roadside picnic feature the meat-grinder, as a location nicknamed thus by stalkers because it is even more fucking deadly than the rest of the zone, all of which is already ridiculously fucking deadly, and if you’ve seen the movie:

it is more or less instantly recognizable in the mill as well. so here we have a circle! here we have a mill (the title has about seventy double meanings but this is certainly one of them,) and as it turns out, this mill at least will absolutely kill you. and horribly too. interestingly though, in roadside picnic (the book) the meat-grinder is not a tunnel, and it’s not round - it’s just a nondescript patch of ground which will wring you out like a dishcloth and kill you extremely dead if you walk into it. on the other hand what we have in the book in terms of circles is the golden ball, which is the equivalent of the movie’s the room, which is, well,

in short both stories ultimately hinge upon the idea that there is a something in the zone which can give you your heart’s desire. anything you want. everything you want. whatever you want. it is infinitely powerful; it is infinitely capable. the catch is that it will only give you what you want. the catch is that giving you what you want is not the same as giving you what you are asking for. the other catch is that in both cases you have to get through the meat-grinder first.

(so, by the way, what the fuck, right? does pafl’s zone have a wish-granting factory? is it also behind the grinder? where were the original trio going when they got themselves fucked up? and did they get there?)

but the point is: the golden ball, the wish-granting factory, is also a circle. it’s just sort of a sphere. it’s a big round fuckin yellow thing. you know, sorta like:

which is THE ONLY TIME yellow is used in occam’s razor not counting the full-colour shots, and it drives me CRAZY, but it is also me going full conspiracy board so let’s not even worry about it. THE POINT IS.

the circle is the death-machine and the wish-machine. neither of these things are really.... very good. the circle, or at least the arc, is also very closely associated with death:

(розовая дуга предрассветного, ‘rose arc of pre-dawn’. if i’ve fucked up that nominative please feel free to stone me to death!)

in the gdoc notes to message lost ferry briefly refers to the dawn as if it were a good thing, the dawn of hope, which is a usage that sort of agrees with the desolate and deathless hope of strike 3′s ‘everything will pass / a day will come,’ but on the other hand it really is very closely associated with dying. nikolai bites it; nikita bites it; sergei and olga left significant chunks of themselves behind. and the thing about ‘this too shall pass’ is that it’s always true, as is ‘everything ends’, but of course that’s ‘cause the thing that ends might be you. and as we know

dawn is an ending. so that seems concerning!

i think the circle, the arc, the bolt falling back to the ground, is not a good thing. i am getting a little conspiracy board here in general but forgive me, i cannot make you a wholesome answer, my wit’s diseased. i think the circle is an enclosed space. it’s an unbroken cycle. it’s the grindstone. it’s the mill. it’s about what pafl’s always been about: about being trapped, about having no chances, about being bordered upon. the circle’s the geometric figure of equidistance from a given point, and you can walk on it forever, and nothing will ever change; you will never get closer, you will never get further away, you will never get out! the sun rises, the sun sets, and you are no closer to anything you wanted. it’s worth noting that anya’s borderline city, the zone-edge port town she complains is trying to crush all her dreams, her mill

is a circle. (a cog in a machine! a grind-wheel! a cage!)

and yura, whose dreams have already been burned out of him, who starts the series already resigned to never getting out of here, calls it ‘this dire deja-vu’, i am specifically resisting putting the accent marks back onto that, which is to say, it’s a repetition that haunts him. it’s going round and round and getting nowhere.

so if we bring it back around: drawing a line in the sand, as the phrase is generally used, means setting a border, means saying this far and no further. often it’s yourself you’re setting the border for. you hit some divide you can’t abide crossing so you say this stops here, it may be too early or too late, but i say it stops here. so logically: drawing a circle in the sand means you’ve locked yourself in completely.

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold your battered hand

the whole first half of this song, i think, is olga promising to grind herself down in a hundred ways if it means she won’t be left alone. how hard can it be to never let it overflow? she may feel lower than the low, she may wish she could just disappear out here, into the postindustrial rust, but though it gets harder all the time she will keep pretending. she isn’t going to burden sergei, or indeed anyone, with her problems, her fears, her scars. she is hurt, but she’s used to it, she’s gotten used to being haunted long ago. she keeps her bad eye covered. she stays within her circle she has drawn. she keeps going round and round. she will take the smallest sliver of human connection and be happy, she promises she will be happy, she promises she won’t ask for more, she will take just the ‘hello.’

but you knooooow it’s not true. you know it’s grinding her down, that she’ll be milled to nothing pretty soon, and really she knows it too.

i am perhaps seventy percent sure that this line is a reference to the windmills of your mind by michel legrande, which features such lines as

Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind

which on one hand seems sort of obscure to be a purposeful reference but on the other hand would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn’t, wouldn’t it. either way it characterizes circles ambiguously, but definitely unsettlingly. going around in circles is chasing infinity, but what in god’s name would you do with it if you caught it? what are you even hoping to accomplish? and:

the second half of this song is bitterer, sharper - staring down the mouth of the meat-grinder she’s a little more willing to admit to herself that this is going nowhere. she is running out of cages to keep herself in. she is very tired. it’s easy to say why don’t you leave it all behind, it’s easy to say, she’s strong enough to let it go, it’s easy to say, too strong to die. it is a lot harder to actually live.

this is also where the flashbacks admit to us how badly hurt they really were - sergei with his whole side in shreds, she still hides her eye but at least we get to see it’s bleeding. this moral compass is forever misaligned, she says, so there is damage, and it is lasting. and she can’t settle for hello, she can’t live like this, she needs someone by her side. the trouble is whether she can believe she has any hope of getting that

as for who ‘her’ is, or the ‘she’ of ‘she is bathed in youthful glow’, i figure there’s two possibilities: either it’s nadya, who haunts olga too, because nikita’s abandonment of nadya represents exactly what she most fears for herself, or it’s olga’s younger, unbroken, binocular self - both of whom were so young, and so easily hurt, and are now unfindable.

and then there’s this conclusion: ‘the sun will rise, until then / i’ll be waiting for you on the other side.’ which maybe is a sort of hope after all? she’s reached no real conclusions in the zone - she knows there must be hope but she can only barely believe in it - she thinks she is destined to self-destruct. but on the other hand she still has that, a version of sergei’s own ‘a day will come’

you may be hurt, but if you can hold yourself together, you can hope for a dawn someday. an ending. a change. but the trouble’s that there’s more than one kind of ending. and there’s more than one meaning for other side. there are cages, and then there are cages. and you know what else looks like a tunnel, a circle?

staring down the barrel of the gun.

#pafl #parties are for losers #it speaks #ask #in all fairness and in my defence when i made the joke i said i would write not less than one thousand words and by fuck #this has not been less than one thousand words!#jorgyjuice #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK ALSO THIS WAS REALLY FUN #and thank you VERY dearly to anyone who takes the time to read all this; you own my soul now; feel free to collect at any time #metatext

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just-my-fandom · 4 years ago

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Death Awaits (Vanya Hargreeves x Reader)

Summary; When Vanya Hargreeves wife is put in a coma thanks to Hazel and Cha-Cha, the apocalypse arises. The other Hargreeve siblings must do all they can to stop the apocalypse, starting with making sure Y/N wakes up from her coma.

Request; Umbrella Academy Vanya story- where reader isn’t apart of the 43 children but she has powers, and she is with Vanya when Cha Cha and Hazel attack the manor, and she helps the others fight them off-her powers being able to control earth, and water, and air to where she can like cut off people’s breaths lmao fiesty- but Cha Cha gets a shot at the reader and Vanya has to watch the reader collapse with blood loss? Thanksss

Request 2; I know you said you haven’t watched Season 2 yet (Or even finished Season 1) but AH please write a story with Vanya where the reader somehow finds Vanya after they are thrown into the 1960s and Reader actually lands with Vanya and she’s scared Vanya won’t remember her?

Warning(s); Gunshots, fighting, near death, angst.

A/N; I finally finished the show! I had a lot of fun doing this story. It is EXTREMELY long. Sorry.

Another A/N; Leonard is JUST A FRIEND. Like, reader and Vanyas best friend kinda shit.

Date started; Demember 16, 2020

Date published; December 16, 2020

. . .

“Too high,”

Vanya grunts in slight irritation at your comment. Her hand slides up her violin to fix the miss-pitch of her note, eyes barely glancing at where you sat on her bed in the manor.

Your legs gently swayed, wearing black riding boots- acquaintanced with a checkered shirt you had bought not too long ago with dark jeans. Leaning on your knees, you watch as Vanya repeated her line of notes, smiling when the wrong note is now fixed,

A slight jerk of her hand causes Vanyas note to hit too low, her shoulders dropping in defeat as she huffs a breath, “It’s never right,”

“Not if you give up that easily,” You raise an eyebrow, your wife copying your motion, “Breathe, baby. You’ve got this. There’s no one else in the room but me,”

Vanya smiles, tilting her head down before raising her violin to her shoulder, starting from where she had first messed up.

A muffled gunshot directs your attention to the door, going unheard by your wife due to the music right against her ear, so when she sees your brows pinch and your body move to stand up, she stops to watch, “What is it?”

On cue, two more gunshots ring, louder, Vanya setting her violin down gently enough despite being in a rush, following after you with you already feet ahead,

You skid to a stop at the bottom of the stairway, two masked figures standing back to back with Luther on one side, Diego on the other, and Allison opposite of you,

“Stay back,” You demand to the woman behind you, Vanyas eyes shifting to the back of your head before she steps back, moving to the empty hall feet from her,

You move three steps forward before raising a hand, fingers curling as you watch the earth under you raise, the masked killers looking down when the ground cracks beneath their feet, both pushing away from each other to avoid being dropped into the earths crust, now raising their guns to you,

A gust of wind forces their guns into the air and behind them, free hand raising to throw off their masks, revealing one male, and one female,

Your fingers clench on your left hand to wrap an invisible field around the males neck, his hands instantly raising in reflex in an attempt to pry the false pressure off,

Before the woman could run back for her gun, a bubble of water wraps around her head, and the Hargreeves siblings are forced to watch her hold her breath in a panic,

“What do you want?” You hiss, moving closer to slightly drop the water from her mouth, allowing her to gasp in a choked breath,

“We just want the boy,” Cha-Cha spits, your eyes narrowing- Five. “And we’ll be on our merry way,”

“Well he’s not here,” You flick your hand to where Cha-Cha is thrown back into the wall, turning your attention to the male, Hazel. He has now turned blue due to his circulation for air being cut off, a slight smile in your face.

You drop your hand so Hazel dropped forward with his hands on his knees, gasps wheezed as he coughs and hacks for air. You lift both hands so walls of rocks came from the ground, pinning at his sides so he yelled in pain at the pressure of his body.

Then you feel it. Vanya sees it. They all see it. Your powers screech to a halt when the bullet pierces the front of your shoulder, the bolders dropping to release Hazel to collapse, your eyes widening when you see Cha-Cha lower her used gun.

Diego is first to lunge forward, catching the top half of your body before you could fully collapse, your vision already falling black before Vanya could make it to your side,

“Y/N!” Vanyas voice is high pitched, breathy, in alert, “Oh my God,”

“Get Grace,” Luther demands, jabbing his finger to Allison, who stood in high alert,

“Now!” Diego and Vanya shout, Vanya pulling off her button up so she was left in her sweater, pressing the button up to where your white and black shirt was already stained dark red,

Vanya forces herself to look up to your face, eyes shut and skin pale, Diego’s finger pressing to your neck in search for a pulse,

“We can’t wait for Grace,” He hisses, moving to lift you off the debris littered floor, Vanya following, staring at the blood that stained the ends of her sleeves,

She’s quick to follow after her brother, the robot she called her mother calmly waving Diego into the medical room that had been used too many times, Diego lowering your body into the table so Grace cut the front of your shirt, revealing the bullet wound that Vanya forced herself to look away from,

“Pogo,” Grace calls, softly, pulling on gloves as she glanced to the ape, “Please escort the children out,”

“Wait,” Vanya pleas, brows pinched as she steps up to the table, but Diego is swift to catch her at her front, leading her backwards to the door Luther and Allison stood, “I need to be with her,”

“Grace has excellent medical experience. Miss Y/N is in great hands,” Pogo reassures, Vanyas eyes snapping up to your face, before she allows the door to shut, her chest tight with fear.

. . .

“I always knew your family having powers was weird,” Leonard lowers his steaming cup from his lips, frowning, “But now it’s just scary,”

“I know,” Vanya murmurs, stirring her cup mindlessly, “Y/N was just trying to protect my family,”

“How-,” Leonard clears his throat, “How is she? By the way,”

“She’s resting. At home. She hasn’t woken up yet,” Vanya shuts her eyes, pressing her hands to her eyelids, “My tryouts for the front chair is this afternoon. I don’t know if I can do it,”

“Dont do that,” Leonard shakes his head, Vanya lowering her hands to pinch her brows, “Dont put yourself down because Y/N isn’t physically here. Just,” Leonard pauses, hand waving in thought, “Is there anything that Y/Ns ever said that just- stuck to you?”

“Breathe, baby. You’ve got this. There’s no one else in the room but me,”

Vanya smiles, nodding, slowly, “Yeah. Just this one thing. It’s always been a constant reminder she gives me when I’m rehearsing. No one else but her is in the room. Even when someone else really is in the room,”

“See?” Leonard chuckles, sipping the last bit of his coffee, “Y/N gives off that effect to make you believe what she says. She knows it’s a sense of comfort for you,”

“She’s always been good at that,” Vanya murmurs, watching Leonard set down his mug and nudge her arm, standing up,

“C’mon. I’ll walk you home. We can get your apartment nice and cozy for when Y/N gets back,”

. . .

“What is your name again?”

Vanya regrets it. She regrets everything. Coming to this audition, letting you nearly give your life for her family. She regrets it.

“Vanya,” She cant stop how low her voice is, but the conductors booming, louder, please, demands her to state, “Vanya Hargreeves,” Four notes higher.

“Right,” The conductor clicks his tongue, looking up at Vanya on the stage which makes her want to run off, “Well?”

“Breathe, baby,” Vanya nearly hears you say, as she lifts her violin to her shoulder, “You’ve got this,” She raises her bow, “There’s no one else in the room but me,” And plays,

She finishes her last note with a pause, terrified of opening her eyes, but when she does and sees the conductor staring at her in awe, she can’t help the breath she lets out, head tilting back with a smile of relief.

She had gotten the front chair.

. . .

A short gasp enters your lips. Whining out in pain, you force your head to the side. Home. How did you get here? The academy-

You sit up, shortly, crying out at the sting of pain it caused to your shoulder, eyes pinching shut before you raise your head, looking around.

“Three new voice messages,” The voicebox of your phone startles you to cover your face, heaving out an exhausted breath, “Hey, Y/N. Just checking on you in case you wake up and I’m not home,” Vanyas voice speaks, your head raising. “I’m currently at rehearsal, on March 29th, about four in the afternoon. I love you. Call the Academy or the theater if I’m not home,”

“Y/N, it’s Allison. I haven’t heard from you, not sure if you had woken up. But if you have, please call me back. Vanyas went missing. I think she’s with Leonard,”

“Leonard?” You push off the bed, stumbling into the kitchen. You lean against the wall beside the phone, running a hand down your face. Vanyas keys were gone. As was her violin,

“Hey, Y/N?” Diego’s voice comes next, “You remember that apocalypse? Yeah. Vanyas the cause. Get your shit together and meet us at the theater the night of the concert. We need you,”

Your eyes widen, flickering around for your shoes before you grab your keys, moving out the door with a shaky hand on the door, “That’s tonight,”

. . .

“What the hells going on?” Your voice startles four of the Hargreeve siblings to turn around, all watching you rub your patched shoulder,

“Y/N!” Klaus cheers, arms up, “Youre awake!”

“Vanya has powers,” Luther hisses, your eyes flicking to him, “She’s out of control, starting with slicing Allison’s neck,” He jabs a finger to said woman, where you see a patch at her neck,

“Why are we here?” You exhale, Diego stepping up,

“The apocalypse starts today. And you had hell of fucking timing waking up. You’re going to be our distraction,”

“Distraction, how?” You demand, Allison holding up her finger before jotting down words on her notepad,

She’s been scared you wouldn’t wake up. She may calm if she sees you.

“What triggered them?”

“Leonard?” Diego questions, “Yeah. He manipulated her for her powers. Good thing he’s dead now, huh?”

“Leonard’s dead?” You hiss, Luther shaking his head at you,

“We don’t have time. You need to go. Vanya needs to see you,”

You nod, shaking your arms out and wincing at the pull it gave your shoulder, moving forward to the entrance to the audience.

Your footsteps remain slow as you move down the walkway, eyes firm on Vanyas seated figure at the front of the stage. Her eyes remained a bright blue- nearly white, on her paper.

Her eyes flick up at the sight of movement, meeting your own so you stop your footsteps, smiling tearfully at where she sat. Her lips pull into her own smile, pausing slightly,

“There’s no one else in the room but me,”

Her hand is quick to catch up to her song, your feet moving back down the walkway, screeching to another halt when her head snaps to the side, in time for Diego and Luther to rush out onto the stage,

You watch in alarm as she stands up, a wave of blue thrown off her bow so Diego and Luther are knocked off the stage, the audience around you shrieking in fear and running off in large groups,

“Vanya!” You call, over the panicked shouts of the men and women around you, moving up to the stage, “Baby! I’m here!”

Her glowing eyes force themselves to look down at you, waving her bow so the musicians behind her sat back down, her jaw clenching,

“Y/N, get down!” A rough tug on your injured arm causes you to cry out, Vanyas eyes opening to see Diego pull you behind a row of seats, your back falling against his chest with a short gasp, your hand pressing to your shoulder,

“I need to get to her!” You heave, looking across the walkway to Luther and Allison, “She’ll listen to me!”

Allison shakes her head, gesturing to her own arm. “Screw the gunshot wound,” You hiss, Diego’s attempt to catch your arm when you stand up failing, where you stand in the middle of the walkway,

Luther and his siblings are quick to surround you, “Here’s how it goes!” Luther starts, “We go at her from all angles,”

“I call front,” You state, moving around him to jump onto the stage, stopping feet from your wife, “Vanya!” You plea, hand up as she continued to play, her suit now white, “Baby- it’s me! I’m okay!”

Her eyes don’t leave yours as you take another step forward, before she raises her bow, your body quick to drop before the wave of blue could hit you, the four boys behind you lifted into the air, her power quick to suck the life from their bodies,

You look up in a panic, pushing to stand up in a rush, crying out when a gunshot rings through, dropping the four brothers to the ground. Your arms jolt out to catch Vanyas fallen figure, your shoulder screaming in pain as you lower yourself to your knees, Vanyas head rested in your lap,

“Vanya!” You cry, hand running down her hair as your free pressed to her neck, “No! No, baby-,”

Your sob cuts short when feeling her pulse and no blood, looking up at Allison behind you with a false gun in her hand. “You didn’t shoot her,” You choke out, looking back down to the woman in your hands, “Oh, my god,”

You lean down, lips pressing to Vanyas forehead, sniffling as you clutched her hand in yours on her chest, “I’ve got you, sweetheart. You’re okay,”

“We did it,” Luther heaves, Klaus moving to point at the window in the ceiling,

“Then what’s with the giant moon rock flying towards earth?”

You look up, eyes blurred with tears, sniffling as you look back down to your wife, fingers tucking her hair away from her eyes.

“So much for saving the world,” Klaus mumbles, your head leaning against Vanyas as your eyes shut, hiccuping.

“This doesn’t have to be the end,” Five rushes, moving next to you and Allison knelt by you, “I have a way out of here. I just need you to trust me,”

“Five,” You call, now looking at him, “I trust you,”

You feel your body lift off the stage, Vanyas body leaving your arms so you flailed in mid air, yelping when you are dropped onto the concrete just seconds later

Dallas, Texas, 1963

“Shit,” You whisper, looking up at where the blue vortex vanished, “Shit. Shit! Vanya!”

“Miss?” You look over, to a blonde woman standing with her son, panic on her face, “I have a woman saying her names Vanya. Might she be who you’re looking for?”

“Oh my gosh,” You mutter, nodding as you push off the floor and follow her to her car, where you see two bystanders helping Vanya off the floor, “Hey! Vanya, are you okay?”

“I think so,” She murmurs, taking your arms as she stands, her eyes flicking to your patched chest, “What happened to you?”

“You don’t remember?” You whisper, brows furrowed, your hand sliding to her cheek. You turn to face the woman from before, “Ma’am, do you have somewhere we can go? She needs to be checked up on,”

“Did I cause it?” The woman, Sissy, panics, moving up to you, “I didn’t see her, I swear,”

“It’s okay,” You breathe, and look back to Vanya, your eyes teary, “You’re okay,”

She nods, warily, letting Sissy move you to her car.

. . .

“I’m sorry, I still don’t understand,” Vanya exhales, leaning forward on the couch you both sat on in Sissy’s house, “We’re married?”

“Yes,” You nod, licking your lips in fear, “Is that okay? We- we don’t have to,” You pull your hand from where you reached for her own, Vanya shaking her head as she takes your hand, tightly,

“No- I mean- yes, it’s okay,” She smiles, your own lips pulling upwards, tiredly. You lean forward, allowing your forehead to knock hers.

“You two look like you’ve had a long day,” Sissy speaks up, handing you a cup of (favorite/warm/drink), “I only have one guest bedroom,”

“I can take the couch,” You heave, reassuringly, Vanyas brows pinching as she tugs at your hand,

“We can share, Y/N,”

“You barely remember me,” You murmur, clenching your jaw and laughing, tearily, “Why would you want to sleep with a woman who you don’t know?”

“I may not know you but I trust you,” Vanya states, raising your hand and hers to show the rings you had, “You say we’re married. I will keep trying to regain my memories as long as I can to remember our wedding day,”

Your eyes flick up to hers, smiling, weakly, with a nod, sniffling as tears began to refill your eyes. Your hand raises to wipes your cheek, Vanyas smile dropping in worry as her hand touches your jaw, directing your attention to her, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” You whisper, shaking your head, “It’s just been a very long day,”

You suck in a deep breath and sniff, looking up at Sissy who smiled, sympathetically, “Do you kind if I borrow your shower? And maybe some help rewrapping this?” You lift your bandaged shoulder, Vanyas hand falling from your face to her lap as Sissy nods, gesturing you to follow her down the hall.

You run a hand through your damp hair, silently shutting the bedroom door behind you,

Your eyes shift to Vanya on the bed, resting in a pair of Sissy’s clothing, same as you, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” You move to the bed, Vanya looking up at you- finally seeing the exhaustion in your eyes. What had happened to you today?

“Of course,” Your wife murmurs, extending her hand for you to take so you slide underneath the covers,

“I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” You whisper, now on your side to face her, “You don’t even know me,”

“But I feel like I do,” Vanya corrects, watching as the tear in your eye slipped from the corner and down your nose, “I’m trying to understand, but I can’t do that without you,”

Your lips purse to stop the sob in your throat, hand raising to cover your pinched eyes. “Hey,” Vanya panics, shaking her head as she slides her hand to the back of your head, guiding you to rest against her chest, “No no, please don’t cry. I’m sorry,”

You let your arm slide to her backside, tightly, hiccuping against the skin of her collarbone, “No, I’m sorry. I’m so emotional and tired, and I want things to go back to normal,”

“I know,” Vanya brushes her lips against your hair, her free hand dragging her nails soothingly across your upper back, “We don’t have to talk about it anymore. What do you want me to do?”

A pause, “Just hold me,” You whisper, leaning your head back to look at her, “Please,”

Vanya nods, quickly, her eyes flicking to your lips before she looks back up to your eyes, your body pushing forward to force your lips against hers.

Vanya exhales sharply against your mouth, her fingers tightening in your hair as you peck her lips, once, twice, barely pulling away so you still felt her breath on your skin,

“I love you, Vanya. I wish I could’ve helped you,”

Vanyas brows pinch, wanting to question what you had meant, but she only finds herself pulling you back in, allowing her lips to recollide with your own, slow against the darkness of the bedroom.

#vanya hargreeves #vanya hargreeves x reader #vanya hargreeves imagine #the umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagine #hazel and cha cha #five hargreeves #Diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #Allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves

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negandarylsatisfaction · 4 years ago

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[SUMMARY: Negan keeps a close eye on his ex Deena after learning that the man she is currently with has a history of abuse.]

Negan and Deena PART TWO

Smut/drama/TW:physical abuse

"What do you wanna know about Michael?" Simon asked a bit confused as they stepped into his apartment.

"Everything. Anything you know."

"Well shit-" Simon scratched his head trying to make himself remember anything about this man on the spot.

"I dont know, I met him like a decade ago. I'd always see him at the Jackson bar on Friday nights. I dont think he has any kids. He used to date this one girl for a while but I dont know what happened with her. We used to hear rumors but-"

"What rumors?"

"I-I dont think they were true but-"

"What fucking rumors?"

"Some people used to say he'd smack his girlfriend around but I dont know man, I never saw any proof."

Negan knit his brow giving Simon a death stare.

"And you didnt think to tell me this after I told you the mother of my child was with this man?"

"Negan I-" before Simon could finish Negan grabbed him by the collar and gave him a hard shake.

"You didnt think to tell me my woman could be with someone dangerous!"

"Your woman? Negan I swear I didnt remember." Negan didnt respond staring at him for a moment before finally letting him go and taking a deep breath.

"What happened, did he do something to Deena?"

Negan sat down and ran his hands over his face in frustration.

"She wont tell me but I know something is not right."

"Shes not going to tell you, remember you're an asshole in her eyes so I doubt she'd tell you even if something was wrong." Simon lit up a cigarette leaning back on his chair.

"Listen, I may be an asshole but I never fucking touched Deena. I never lay a hand on her." Negans knee was shaking as he sat back and thought of what the truth could be, Simon had never seen him this concerned.

"Hey man, maybe its not even like that. You cant bombard her with it, you know how she is. She'll shut down. Just give it time, if something else looks weird, act on it but till then just wait cause we really dont know."

Negan knew Simon was right in a way. Deena wouldnt admit it even if it was true and he didnt have solid evidence.

Instead Negan was going to make it a habit now to show up more often to see Jack. Of course during his visits with Jack he'd make sure you were ok without asking you anything. He would just keep a closer eye on you.

As he planned, Negan showed up more throughout the week to see Jack. Everytime he had been there Michael wasnt there, yet he still noticed you keep to yourself more than usual. Of course you had to keep to yourself more, you didn't want to upset Michael again. Part of you knew your feelings were still strong for Negan but you didnt want to acknowledge it because of how much he had hurt you. Michael was someone new who you convinced to yourself wasnt that bad. You did call him another mans name, part of you was almost making yourself believe it was your fault what occured. Michael hadn't touched you since, as long as you didnt upset him you were fine is what you would tell yourself.

Negan was in the living room with Jack while you began cooking dinner for when Michael would arrive. You could hear Negan being playful with Jack, it was a sweet sound that made your heart flutter.

Negan sighed putting the baby down in his playpen before looking towards the kitchen. He walked in as you stirred the food, leaning his shoulder on the doorway watching you quietly cook.

"You look beautiful."

Your heart immediately began to race, trying not to put much thought to it or even look his way, you smiled.

"Thank you."

Negan slowly walked in to the kitchen looking around. He noticed some things had been changed from where you originally had them. He noticed something sitting beside the food pantry he hadn't noticed before.

"What's this?" Negan asked opening the box to find a stack of tools.

"Wait, Negan-" you ran to him taking the tool from his hand and putting it back in the box carefully.

"This is Michael's and he doesnt like it to be touched." Negans face quickly changed noticing how nervously you reacted.

"What does he live here now?"

"No. He just has some things here. That's all, just don't touch it please. Hes really picky with his things."

You walked back to the pot of food that was almost done cooking as Negan crossed his arms not taking his eyes off you. He had never seen you act this way before.

"You must really like this guy huh?" He asked just to see your reaction, he knew there was something more making you act this way.

"Mhm." You responded without making eye contact.

"Mhm." Negan pressed his lips together before you were both interrupted by the sound of the door unlocking.

"That must be Michael now."

"He has the fucking keys? Since when?"

"Negan please. I just gave it to him for today since I thought I was going to be alone with Jack." You quickly walked out to greet Michael at the door. The more Negan realized things, the more angrier he became. This man was trying to claim all of this as his. He was trying to gain a power over you and you couldnt see it.

Negan walked out of the kitchen to catch Michael with his lips on yours. Negan right away got a bad taste in his mouth at the sight before Michael looked up at him.

"Negan. I didnt know you were here."

"Yeah. Came by to check on my son and Deena. Have to make sure shes ok here by herself with him."

"Oh I'm sure I have a good watch on that." Michael quickly responded.

"Yeah well an extra eye doesnt hurt." Negan grinned trying to keep himself composed. The silence that followed made you anxious and uncomfortable.

"So are you ready for dinner?"

"Yes!" Both men eagerly responded at the same time, making you more anxious. It was clear these men did not like each other and had no problem in showing it.

Negan watched as Michael sat and let you serve him. He could tell you were nervous as you served his plate, of course you were. You had not expected Negan to stay for dinner.

"Thank you, baby." Michael said loudly as you turned to walk towards Negan with the food when he suddenly spanked your ass hard making you gasp. Negan grabbed his knee under the table hard, he knew Michael was doing this to purposely piss him off and boy was it working. As you were about to serve Negan he stood up and grabbed the pot of food from you.

"I got it, Dee. Sit down, shit you been on your feet all day."

"Dee? I've never heard anyone call her Dee." Michael cleared his throat looking up at Negan with a raised brow. Michael clearly didnt like the sound of the little nickname Negan had for you.

"Only I do. Old habit." Negan knew what he was doing and if Michael wanted to get under his skin, he knew how to get under his too. Taking a deep breath you sat down next to Jack, making sure he was comfortable in his high chair and began to eat. There was silence for a moment until Michael noticed the lid on his box of tools was not left the way he had left it the day before.

"What happened with my tool box?" Michael's question instantly made you nervous.

"Oh I-"

"That was me." Negan interrupted not liking the tone in his voice when he spoke to you.

"You let Negan touch my tool box?"

"She didnt let me touch anything. I thought it was something I had left here so I went to take a look." Negan responded confidently.

"I dont know why you would think anything here belongs to you, you dont live here."

"As far as I'm concerned, neither do you." Negan shot back.

"Ok stop." You spoke hesitantly as the men stared at each other angrily.

"Can we just enjoy dinner?"

The rest of the dinner was silent, you didn't make eye contact with either of the men. Negan stood up and was soon getting ready to leave. He leaned in beside you to give Jack a kiss. You could smell his scent close to you, Michael quietly stared at you as you stared down at your plate of food.

"Let me know if you need anything, Deena." You heard his voice close to your ear.

Negan walked out not liking the idea of him leaving you alone with Michael. In reality, what could he do without you acknowledging anything or him having proof? He would just look like a jealous man, which he could admit jealous he was. Negan left and you could feel Michael's eyes on you.

"I trust you to not let your ex touch my belongings or disrespect me."

"I told him not to touch it, Michael. I really did."

"Dont." He slammed his fist on the table making you jump. Jack began to cry making you quickly pull him out of his high chair and comfort him.

"Dont lie to me, Deena."

"Michael stop it. Im not lying to you and you're scaring Jack. You can leave." Surpsingly feeling a rush of courage when it came to Jack, you stood up with him in your arms and began to walk out the room until he unexpectedly grabbed your arm. You froze as he squeezed you and stood up staring down at you.

"Watch how you talk to me, baby."

"I said..you can leave." You felt yourself shaking as you stood your ground.

"Alright. You want me to leave? I'll leave." Michael responded calmly, a little too calm for comfort. He turned around and began to walk away making you let our a deep breath of relief when suddenly he turned around and smacked you across the face. You yelped as you fell hard to the floor holding Jack as tight as you could. Blocking his head from hitting anything you slammed your head on the bottom kitchen cabinet.

"Now I'll leave. You see what you do to yourself." Michael walked out slamming the door loudly as Jack cried loudly. Tears streaming down your eyes you cried with him.

"I'm so sorry." You whispered to Jack. Pushing yourself up off the floor you went to lock the door when Michael suddenly appeared again making you step back.

"Another thing, you tell Negan any of this I'll make sure you never see your son again. Remember my brother is a lawyer. He'll have you all fucked."

With those last words he walked out for a second time. Looking over at the table by the door you were relieved to see he had left the keys. Immediately you locked it, even clicking the bolt into place. Upset you walked up the stairs to run Jack a warm bath and calm him down. All you wanted was to call Negan to come over in that moment.

You took Jack a bath and put him to bed when you realized you had a text from Negan.

"Is jackass still around?" He texted making you chuckle softly.

"No. Alone now, baby just went to sleep." You responded in a text when suddenly you heard your phone begin to ring but when you checked, it wasnt a phone call.

Negan wanted to video call you. Your heart skipped a beat, he had never done this. What the hell was making him do it now.

You picked up the video call and found him staring very serious at the screen, he also look a bit tired.

"Figuring out your phone huh?" You teased.

"I wanted to see you." You watched as Negans eyes roamed over the screen taking a good look at you. Negan was doing everything he could to have a closer eye on you without you realizing it.

"Well you're seeing me." You responded with a smile but Negan could tell the smile didnt reach your eyes.

"I'm surprised the asshole didnt stay the night." Quickly, he saw you look away from the camera turning to the side. Looking to keep yourself occupied with something.

"Its fine. I wanted to be alone anyways."

"Guess he didn't like me being there for dinner." Negan chuckled to himself.

"He doesnt like alot of things." You muttered low.

"What do you see in that asshole, Deena?"

His sudden question caught you off guard but you didnt know how to respond.

"I know I wasnt the greatest to you but I see you with this guy and you're not you."

You stayed looking away from the camera as Negan quietly stared at you.

"Can we talk about something else?"

Negan heard a crack in your voice as you brushed your hand through your hair.

"What happened after I left, Deena?"

"Nothing happend after you-" cutting yourself off you looked up having heard a thump. Negan frowned wondering what caught your attention.

"What is it?"

You didnt respond as you slowly stood up and walked out of the room quickly checking on Jack. Thankfully he was fine and the main door was still locked. You sighed a breath of relief before getting back into your room and realizing you were becoming paranoid.

"I thought I heard something, it was just me." Negan could tell something was worrying you but you didnt want to admit what it was.

"You want me to come over, just to make sure everything is fine around the house?"

His offer made you quickly look back at him with some sort of relief in your eyes.

"I mean yes, maybe check the attic. Could be a pipe." You lied and he knew it. In all honesty you were just afraid with what had just happened with Michael. You felt paranoid about him showing up unexpectedly. Negan played along just wanting you to be comfortable and made his way to you. It was around ten at night, Negan never came over this late but you didnt mind it.Relieved to see Negan when you opened the door you let him in and quickly locked the door from top to bottom. You turned to find him staring at you strangely.

"Since when have you been using the bolt?"

Negan had placed the bolt for you a few years back but with all the locks on the door you had never used it. You never found it necessary.

"A habit I have now." You chuckled low as you walked past him. It did make you nervous that Negan was in your home, what if Michael found out in some kind of way? The thought of Michael turned your stomach.

"What did you want me to check out, doll?"

"Oh yeah, the attic. Maybe I heard the noise coming from there." Negan never seeming to be afraid of the unknown, pulled the ladder down and walked right up. It was hard not to admit to yourself that besides the differences you both have had, you could always count on him whenever you needed him.

"Just like I thought! Theres nothing up here." He yelled from the attic.

"You sure?"

"Shit, come see for yourself."

Negan chuckled as he came back down the ladder, you had always been afraid to go up to the attic alone.

"I know I heard something." You whispered as he made his way to you and leaned his face in close.

"You sure, sweetcheeks?" He teased making you chuckle. Negan loved teasing you, he always liked seeing you laugh.

"Oh stop." You playfully shoved him which only made him bounce back closer to you. The two of you stopped for a moment and stared into each others eyes. The thought of that kiss he gave you the last time made you shiver inside. But before he could reach in and kiss you, you quickly turned away. The strong pull you felt to him couldnt be denied but Michael...the thought of that man terrified you.

"Do you want a snack, I want a snack. I'll make us something quick." Negan watched as you flew down the stairs and scoffed shaking his head. He knew you wanted him just as bad.

As you reached into the cabinet Negan walked into the kitchen and leaned on the door way. You could feel his eyes on you, devouring you from head to toe.

"I know you dont give a shit about this guy." Negan spoke confidently as he slowly made his way to you. You didn't say a word knowing you couldnt react to him, thinking of the threat Michael made, you couldn't risk it.

"Fuck, Deena why do you let him control you like this?" Negan asked making you turn to him. He knew that would make you react which is what he wanted.

"He doesn't control me so quit assuming things."

"So then kiss me." He grinned as get got closer to you making you back up into corner.

"So what you're telling me to do is cheat on him."

"Oh is that what I said?" Negan chuckled with sarcasm.

"Figures you know, since you know so much about cheating yourself." You responded back with double the sarcasm making him laugh. You rolled your eyes pushing him aside but he blocked you with his arm. His expression suddenly turning more serious, he stared down at you not letting you pass him. His look was making you weak, your lips parted looking at his. You knew this wasn't right but the closer he got the more irresistible he became.

"I'm not going to kiss you." You whispered sounding anything but confident.

"Oh yeah? You sure about that?" He whispered in return wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you against him making you gasp.

"Now what was that you said, sweetheart?"

You were now speechless, how can you resist this man? You never stopped wanting him and he never had stopped wanting you. He leaned in and you instantly melted at the feel of his warm lips on yours. He felt your body fall into his as he passionately kissed you. He took your arms and wrapped them around his neck as he grabbed your ass with both hands.

"Negan..." you whispered into his lips.

"Hm? Tell me what you want, doll." He spoke slowly and erotically. Each word pulling at your heart strings.

"I want you." You whispered feeling him squeeze you harder when he suddenly lifted you up and sat you on the kitchen counter. You could hear him unbuckling his belt as he kissed you, his hands brushing up your thighs and pulling down your shorts and underwear. Your heart was racing. You swore this would never happen again but you didnt want him to stop. He pulled back for a moment and looked at you as he pulled you towards the edge of the counter. Negan wanted you to look directly at him as he entered you. Your arms and legs were wrapped around him as he pushed in forward, the both of you moaned simultaneously at the first feel of each other. It had been too long since he felt you and he didnt know how long he could control himself before exploding.

"Holy fuck." Negan muttered as he got into rythm. Aggresivly pulling off his shirt he threw it across the room. You moaned loudly as Negan broke out in a sweat, it took alot of him not to burst with each moan you let out. You screamed as you leaned your head back against the wall, fully exposing your neck. Negan wrapped one hand around your throat and gave you a hard squeeze as he moved faster. You squealed as he used the same hand to now grab your hair pulling it back hard.

"Negan!" You grabbed onto him tightly, the sound of your voice helpless calling for him made it hard for him to control himself any longer.

"Fuck, Deena- I cant fucking hold it-" before he could finish he groaned loudly letting himself explode within you. You moaned as he buried himself deeply, his body against yours. The two of you panting uncontrollably in each others arms.

"Negan." You whispered in a shakey voice before he pulled back and slowly pulled himself out.

"Fuck, I couldnt stop it." He spoke breathlessly falling back onto the chair behind him.

"You know how long I've been waiting for that." He chuckled making you laugh.

Jack had still been sleeping while you and Negan lay in bed under the covers. Your face on his chest as he rubbed your hair back gently. It was nice forgetting everything for just a moment until Negan rubbed over a certain part of your head making you lift your head up and wince.

"Ow."

"What's that?" Negan felt the bump on the back of your head and frowned. You knew the bump must've been from when you fell and hit your head on the cabinet. You weren't going to tell Negan this so you simply shrugged.

"I dont even know how that happened. These random bruises come out of nowhere. Dont you hate when that happens." You laughed nervously and lay your head back down. Negan stayed looking down at you not liking your response.

"You know you can tell me anything right, Dee?" You hesitantly lifted your head up and looked back at him.

"What would I need to tell you? What do you mean?" Negan didnt say a word for a moment but he knew he had to. He didnt know how you would react but he couldnt continue acting like he wasnt noticing certain things.

"What I mean is that ever since you began dating that fuck, Michael, you either have some new bruise or you're suddenly nervous with shit you never were nervous about before. I know you, Deena and you sure as fuck arent acting like yourself."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?!" You stood up quickly putting on your robe making Negan roll his eyes, he knew you would get defensive.

"Dee-" Negan tried to speak sitting up in the bed but you wouldnt let him.

"I dont know who the hell is putting this shit in your mind but leave it alone. Nobody is doing anything to me."

"Listen, I'm not trying to pick a god damn fight for fucksake." Negan got up and began to get dressed.

"Yeah? Well you are! Why dont you mind your business."

"You are my fucking business!" Negan yelled so loudly you were surprised Jack hadn't woken up.

"You know what, get out! This is why I never wanted to sleep with you again-" Negan scoffed in return.

"I beg to differ, sweetheart. With the way you felt you been wanting that just as much as I have." You stared at him in silence holding back your tears, you were not going to let him make you admit the truth.

"Get out and do me a favor dont come back unless it's to pick up Jack." You stormed out of the room making your way down the stairs to the kitchen. Negan cursed at himself angrily, the last thing he wanted to do was fight with you.

"Goddamn women." He muttered low, but he knew he had to approach this matter differently.

In the kitchen you quietly made yourself tea hearing him come down the stairs. He slowly made his way inside and leaned back on the counter beside you but you wouldnt look his way.

"Did he threaten you?" Negan asked with his arms crossed looking at the ground. Feeling a knot in your throat you couldnt respond, your silence spoke for itself making Negan look over at you.

"That son of a-"

"Negan please."

"Tell me the truth, Deena. He fucking hits you doesnt he?" His voice was stern, his eyes darkened as he looked down at you.

"It was my fault, Negan-" you cried out as Negan turned and punched the concrete wall behind him. The anger in him rising rapidly, he didnt even feel the effect on his knuckles.

"I'll kill him! I swear to God I'll fucking kill him."

"Negan, please you cant tell him anything. Please..."

"Oh for fuck sake, Deena! What the fuck does he have over you?! What is he threatening you with?!"

Negan stared down at you silently, his breathing was heavy, he studied the look in your eyes when it suddenly clicked.

"Jack." He whispered and all he saw was red. Negan quickly charged for the front door as you ran after him catching up before he could leave, you blocked the entrance.

"Negan, please you're not listening!" You cried.

"Oh I'm fucking listening, hes using our son to keep you shut. I'd like to see him try something-"

"Negan his brother is a lawyer. He threatened if I told you anything he'd make sure they'd take Jack away from me. Please, I beg you. I beg you, dont do or say anything. He doesnt do anything as long as I do what he says-"

"Do you fucking hear yourself, Dee?! As long as you do what he says? Who the fuck is he?! I know I was never an easy man to deal with but I never, ever put my god damn hands on you! Ever!" Negan turned red as he yelled, a vein pulsating hard in his neck appeared. You quietly cried before suddenly hearing Jack begin to cry upstairs. Negan sighed looking down, his fists balled up at his sides.

"Just promise me you wont say anything. Promise me."

"Ok." Negan stood aside letting you get past him to run up the stairs and check on Jack. He could hear you singing to him and ran his hands through his hair. He had never been so frustrated by a situation. He knew you were terrified for yourself and Jack and he hated that he felt like he couldnt do anything.

The next few weeks flew by peacefully, your cousin had come into town so she had been staying with you every day. With her around Michael never did anything to you. Negan knew you were safe for the time being but hated knowing Michael was still with you. You had never felt more confused, you loved Negan..you knew you did. The two of you hadn't even spoken about what happened between the two of you at all. Yet, you couldnt stop thinking about it. Jack's birthday was coming up the next day, you couldnt believe he was turning three. As excited as you were the thought of having Michael and Negan together in the same room for the first time since that night made your stomach turn. It made your stomach turn so much you actually began to feel nauseous. Brushing off the nausea, the sound of the doorbell went off and you knew it was Negan.

"Hi." You smiled as you stepped back and let him come in with a bunch of balloons.

"I picked up all these damn balloons, the cake and tomorrow I just gotta get the food." You laughed as Negan struggled with decorations and lay them out on the table.

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

Once he had everything set, he turned to you and couldn't help letting his eyes roam from your head to your toes.

"Looking good, Dee."

You blushed feeling your cousins eyes fall on you in confusion. Negan winked at you before turning to Jack and got right on the floor with him and began playing with him.

"Looking good, Dee." Your cousin muttered beside you, making fun of what she has just witnessed.

"Cut it out, Louise."

"What was that all about, he looked like he totally undressed you with his eyes." She continued making you sigh when you the wave of nausea struck you again.

This time it didnt go away and you found yourself running across the living room to the bathroom. Negan looked up with a frown then looked over to Louise as she stared in even more confusion.

"Stay with Jack." Negan pushed himself up and made his way to the bathroom door, knocking gently.

"Deena? You ok?" He could hear you continuing to throw up before you finally flushed. A few minutes later you stepped out of the bathroom looking pale and weak.

"I think it was something I ate." You whispered rubbing your head.

"Come on, let's get you to sit back."

Negan guided you by your arm to the living room when you found Louise opening the door for Michael. You froze in your steps as Negans expression quickly changed.

"Negan, what a surprise."

Negans lip twitched as Michael's eyes drifted to him holding your arm.

"Oh I wasnt feeling good-"

"So I was making sure she could make it back to the couch safely." Negan interrupted in a calm yet cold tone.

"Well I'm sure I can take over now that-"

"I got her." Negan shot back sternly.

"Its ok, Negan. I feel fine, Louise is here with me too."

"Yeah I got her, Negan." Louise agreed.

Michael and Negan didnt say a word to each other as Louise took your arm and led you to the couch. Negan walked out angrily not liking to feel out of control with this situation. You knew tomorrow would be a whole other roller coaster of emotions. It would be Jack's birthday celebration, it was already the 8th. Your heart sunk realizing what you had just thought to yourself. How could you be so stupid?

It was already the 8th and you realized you were four days late on your period.

The rest of the day you felt fine physically but you worried like never before. You knew you had a extra pregnancy test hidden in your drawer somewhere that you would take as soon as Michael would leave. When he did finally leave you asked Louise to stay with Jack while you hid in the bathroom to take the rest.

"Please don't be positive, please dont be positive." You continued to whisper repeatedly when it was time for you to look at the test and your mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God.."

It was positive.

Obviously, you knew it was Negans not having had sex with Michael in the last few weeks. Louise called out for you and you quickly hid the test and the box under your shirt and ran down stairs. Throwing out any of the evidence and without saying a word put Jack to sleep for the night.

The next day you got dressed up in a nice blue sundress for Jack's birthday. It was a very small gathering and you were excited to make this memory for Jack. Looking at yourself in the mirror you finished you make up and took a deep breath before heading out of your room. The decorations had been placed nicely in the living room. Michael was in the kitchen while Louise finished setting up the balloons. You had no idea that while Michael was in the kitchen he had discovered the box the pregnancy test came out of my accident as he was taking out the garbage.

"Deena! Can you come to the kitchen for second?" Michael called out for you as you played with Jack in the living room. You left him on the floor with Louise as you entered the kitchen with a smile excited for the day before realizing what you were walking into. Michael stood by the counter with the box of your pregnancy test in hand. The expression on your face instantly changing, you felt yourself having trouble to breathe.

"Wh-where did you get that..?"

"Oh right from your garbage can, baby." His face looked demented, he looked like a ticking bomb.

"Michael....let me explain.." you whispered as he made his way closer to you.

"Let you explain? Go ahead, explain." Michael threw the box on the table making a glass cup fall and shatter on the floor. Louise heard the noise and looked up before being distracted by the door.

It was Negan.

Louise opened the door for Negan as he came in excitedly picking his son up and wishing him a happy birthday.

"You're a big boy now, three years old." Negan grinned when he suddenly heard Michael yelling. He looked towards the kitchen door then back at Louise with a raised brow.

"I dont know." She whispered with a shrug.

"Michael please!" Negan heard you yell making him quickly give the baby to Louise and charge to the kitchen. When Negan pushed open the door he found Michael grabbing you by your hair before pushing you to the floor. You screamed before looking back and noticing Negan at the door. His eyes filled with rage, you stood up and ran to him blocking him before he could do anything.

"Negan wait- it's not what it looks like."

"Oh yeah, Deena why dont you show Negan here what it looks like huh?"

"Please, Negan just go-"

"Get out of the kitchen, Deena. I've been waiting for this shit." Negan didnt take his eyes off Michael across the room.

"Negan please, listen to me. Look at me."

"Yeah please, look at her before I have to make her shut the hell up."

"Negan!" You squealed when he suddenly pushed you behind him and charged towards Michael.

"Come on asshole, I'll give you a fair fight." Negan threw the chair that was in front of him across the room before he finally reached Michael and the two men began to fight. Both men trying to put each other in head locks as they ran into everything around them, knocking everything to the floor.

"Deena get the hell out of here!"

You stood in shock against the door way watching as Negan knocked Michael off his feet.

"Yeah...wouldnt want an unfortunate accident to happen to a pregnant woman." Michael grunted as Negan held him down before realizing what he said. Negan looked up at you in disbelief before quickly looking back down at Michael.

"Wouldnt want anything happening to that baby." He continued to taunt before Negan collided his fist with Michael's face.

"Say something stupid again, I fucking dare you. Trust me asshole, I got alot more where that came from." He looked directly into Michael's eyes but before he could utter another word, Negan punched him again. Louise had put the baby in his crib and called 911 from hearing all the commotion. She came into the kitchen and gasped at the site of the entire kitchen a mess. The rush of emotions and morning sickness started to take over you. You felt yourself tipping over to the side before bumping into Louise.

"Deena are you okay?" She yelled making Negan look up to find you struggling to stand straight.

"Louise sit her down." Negan instructed without letting go of Michael. Michael scoffed with blood pouring out of his mouth when soon you heard the sound of the cops at the door.

"My brother will handle all of you."

"Youre brother can choke on my dick." Negan squeezed down harder on Michael's neck. The police quickly entered the house and detained Michael who kept yelling at all of you as they dragged him out. Negan rushed to you, grabbing a chair and sitting down right in front of you. You instantly noticed his bloody and bruised knuckles.

"Sir, do you need us to take a look at that?" A paramedic asked Negan.

"No, this is fine-" he shook his hand not worried of any injury.

"I need you to check her." Negan motioned towards you but you quickly shook your head.

"I'm fine, I'm just dehydrated-.

"And pregnant." Negan interrupted.

"You're pregnant?! What!" Louise screamed with excitement making you chuckle. Negan himself couldnt help but smirk a bit.

"Yes, Louise. Wait-wheres Jack?" You looked around as your heart began to race.

"Hes upstairs sleeping, hes fine. Dont worry, Deena." She hugged you as Negan stayed holding your hand. "You're going to need to get a restraining order on that guy if hes bailed out. You cant be here alone with the baby, and pregnant with that mad man knowing where you live."

"Oh she wont be alone, I can promise you that."

Negan meant every word he said, he was never going to risk losing you again.

If you have ideas for a part 3 if youd like one let me know? Not sure where to go after this or if I should continue at all.

#jeffrey dean morgan #the walking dead negan #the walking dead fanfiction #negan x you #negan smut #negan twd #negan fan fic #negan x oc

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floralkittygambler · 4 years ago

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HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’. DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not. HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment. I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief. For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions. In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair. Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity. On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd. There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings). Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond. A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross. In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute. Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative. The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average. Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing. Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy. Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow. Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship. Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this. The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label. Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour. I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it. Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics. I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble. Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke. This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars, @galemalio (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz, @critical-hazbin, @what-the-hazbin, @hazboobhotel, @pineapple-critiques-stuff, @devils-advocutie, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #anti huskerdust sorry folks #vivienne medrano #criticism #toxic relationships in fiction #how fiction impacts the real world #yeah im a wimp who cares?#hazbin needs to change for the better #concerned fan #dont be another yandev #dont be another yansim #stans and antis dni #stans and antis will be blocked and reported #hope this gives justice to my hero about the rl effects of addiction #rest easy Kiddas got this #still shitting myself #read more wont work sorry

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mobagehelllocal · 4 years ago

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“dati” ver ii - kalim, vil, idia & malleus

A/N: Wah, this got so long I had to split it into two parts ;u; So here’s some information if you didn’t read ver i, and went straight for ver ii!

The Reader, is different from the actual MC of TWST!

“Dati” is a pretty difficult word to translate, because it’s just one word but--it can mean so much. For the sake of this story, you can interpret its meaning as “a long time ago”.

Due to the general premise, the reader is female!

The prologue for ver ii “dati” is the same prologue for ver i!

Link to the concept design for the uniform!

Inspired by:

“Dati” by Sam Concepcion, Tippy Dos Santos and Quest. (I encourage you to listen to it OR read the English lyrics.)

“If You Can Dream” by the Disney Princesses. (I would link both but my posts dont appear if I do that ;u;)

So, without further ado, let’s get into it!~

Other versions: ver i (riddle, leona, azul), ver ii (this)

"--as you already know. We held a school-wide meeting about the week long exchange program with the all-females private school, Garden Academy. Professors Divus Crewel and Mozus Trein accompanied our delegates to Garden Academy this morning,” Dire Crowley peered at his students through his black mask, “while Professor Mozus Trein stayed with our delegates, Professor Divus Crewel escorted the delegates from Garden Academy to Night Raven College.”

Excited whispers broke out in the crowd. Crowley cleared his throat once, then again--before everyone settled down. The Headmaster huffed audibly at that.

“I’ll be using this morning meeting to introduce the delegates,” Crowley turned to the left side of the stage. He motioned at Crewel who was standing back stage with a Garden Academy professor and her students. “Now then, please give a hand for--”

In the crowd, his eyes widened.

In turn, you were pretty excited too. You had held off telling your friend about you coming to his school because you wanted to surprise him.

All you girls had been assigned to a particular dorm, not to sleep in--but rather, to experience. Each dorm in NRC (much like GA), had their own unique culture. So, to truly experience the college meant you all needed to immerse yourselves in the different dorms and their cultures. You had to sneakily reconfirm with him what his dorm was, to make sure you got assigned to the correct one.

And now that you were here...

“Alright ladies,” Professor Radcliffe said kindly, “we will reconvene here at 5PM to return to the dorm Headmaster Crowley so generously set aside for us.”

“Yes Professor.” Radcliffe eyed all of you girls, before she sighed with an exasperated smile. You were all very excited, and doing very little to hide that.

“Okay, I know you want to go--but one last thing,” you all let out loud, false and very unladylike groans that Radcliffe ignored. “Remember to be beautiful--”

“At heart.” you all recited, familiar with your school’s motto.

“Go on then,” Radcliffe finally said, “the dorm heads and their assistants should be waiting outside for all of you.”

With a cheer, you all parted ways.

Kalim‘s eyes brightened as he caught sight of you again.

“Jamil! Jamil! Look!” he tugged on the other boy’s sleeves as he pointed you out to the crowd. “So it really is [Name]!”

“They did announce her full name on the stage, Kalim.” Jamil said rather blandly, not that Kalim was affected by his exasperated tone.

“Kalim! Jamil!” Your uniform--the pale green of House Water Lily, the House of Passion--swished around you as you came to a stop before the two boys that you hadn’t seen in ages.

“It’s been awhile.” You reached for their hands and clasped them with yours--at which both boys blushed. While Kalim gave you a goofy smile, Jamil instantly looked away.

You had spent a couple of months as a child in the Land of Hot Sands because your parents were just beginning to expand your family owned restaurant--Tiana’s Palace--into that country. You had met Kalim, then Jamil because your parents were business partners with Kalim’s father.

It was hard not to enjoy their friendship. Kalim--was fun loving and easy going. Jamil--was calm and attentive. When you were getting exhausted by Kalim’s energy, Jamil knew when to step in and what to say to calm him down. They were perfectly balanced, and you remembered them fondly.

Needless to say...

When it had been time for you to return to your country, there were a lot of tears.

“Sniff... why are you leaving?” Kalim cried, “I thought we would be friends forever!”

“I--I don’t want to leave too!” you shook, snot dripped down your nose.

“Kalim... [Name] has to go back.” Jamil said slowly, but even his eyes were glassy and wet.

“Wah!” You sniffled as you wrapped both of your arms around the two boys who became so dear to you.

“I--it’s not like we won’t meet again!” Jamil protested, as he too began to truly join in the crying fest.

“Waaah! Don’t leave [Name]!” Kalim wailed loudly.

“B--but I can’t stay.” you sobbed. “I tried already...”

(Behind you the adults were chuckling to themselves at the drama the kids were causing... had they not realized they could just ask them to keep in contact...?)

(But to a child, the world seemed infinite. It didn’t seem to have an end.

To the three of you, it truly felt like a final farewell.)

“Promise, we won’t forget each other?” you demanded as you pulled back. The two boys shared a glance through their tears and turned back to you with a determined nod.

“Promise we’ll always be friends, no matter what!” Kalim said. In turn you and Jamil nodded pretty determinedly.

Then you and Kalim turned to Jamil--you waited for him to make a promise too. He flushed at suddenly being put on the spot, before his eyes light up and he said--

“Then we promise--to meet up again, one day? Here?”

You and Kalim nodded vigorously at that.

As your parents took you a way, you all wailed pretty loudly.

“You can see them again one day.” your mother had said, confused.

“But it doesn’t mean I won’t miss them when I can’t see them.” you said in a solemn tone. Your parents exchanged looks amused looks.

“I’m surprised you got so attached to those two.”

“They were fun to play with.”

“I’m sure they were sweetie. Now get some rest.”

There was some time where you all attempted to exchange letters--since the MagiCam had yet to be developed to a point where international instant messaging was possible.

However...

Children were fickle creatures.

Within a few months, you all eventually found something of more interest than a friend from a distant place who you might not see again.

Your interests in each other waned away, until it became a distant, fond and somewhat embarrassing memory.

That is until...

“Hey [Name], did you sign up for the Night Raven College exchange program?” You looked up from the recipe book that you were reading.

“Yeah I did, why?”

“Did you know the model, Vil Schoenheit goes there?”

“Who is Vil?” Your friend gasped dramatically before she rolled her eyes. “Figures you wouldn’t know who Vil Schoenheit is. Come here.” She showed you pictures of Vil’s MagiCam account. There were some photos of the school, and rarer still--photos of other people aside from Vil himself.

Which, you know--if you had a face like that, you’d totally fill your MagiCam with just selfies.

“Oh Sweet Evangeline,” your friend sighed dreamily, “NRC boys are definitely cuter than RSA boys--and I swear I’m challenging all the RSA stans to try saying otherwise over my dead body--” You snickered at her rant, before a certain photo caught your eye.

“Oh is that...”

“Oh holy Evangeline--” your friend began to wheeze. “I think these are all the Dorm Leaders for this school year--” she clicked onto the photo to open the post. Your friend was right--Vil had noted that this was this year’s NRC Dorm Leader list.

“Malleus Draconia-- naturally. Vil Schoenheit--NATURALLY.” your friend giggled in excitement, “Oh, I guess Leona Kingscholar is repeating a year... No idea who Riddle Rosehearts, Azul Ashengrotto or Idia Shroud is--and this guy is--”

“Kalim Al-Asim.” you whispered. If you shut your eyes, you could hear the wind whistle, the laughter of two boys, the joyous shrieking of a girl--and a magic carpet ride across the wide expanse of the sky. Your friend arched a brow at you.

“Do you know him?”

“I think I do.” you hesitated, the sound of laughter still rang in your ears. “I’m pretty sure I met him when I was a kid... when I travelled around with my family.”

“Oooh, you should totally try and see if he remembers. He’s cute.”

“We were kids.” you tried to explain to your friend but she only waved a dismissive hand.

“You aren’t now. Also childhood romance trope is so cute, you gotta let me see it first hand.” your friend grabbed your phone and typed in the tagged username of Kalim Al-Asim.

{”Hi Kalim! Do you remember me? I’m [Name] [Surname].”}

{”Like [Name] [Surname]? Like Tiana’s Place? Yes! Oh Sorceror, how’d you find me?”}

{”Well funny story...”}

And the rest was history.

Jamil took awhile to come around, but you had a video call with the two, and after naming a particular embarrassing moment--Jamil had easily been convinced that it was actually you.

That had been a few months before the actual exchange, and you chose not to tell them about your part in it so you could surprise them once you got up on stage.

Surprise them you did.

The moment they announced your name, Kalim shouted, and Jamil had face palmed.

It was another memory to add to the ones you held dearly.

Now you were seated in Scarabia’s dorms, as you happily enjoyed the grand feast and parade prepared by Jamil and Kalim.

As Kalim flopped onto the seat next to yours, he shot you a wide grin.

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

“I am!” you hummed, “I haven’t been anywhere close to the Land of Hot Sands recently...” you put your spoon down and smiled. “The food is really good too! This is the best version of your cuisine that I have tasted. My compliments to the chef for sure! I’d love to take a peek at the recipe.” On your other side Jamil choked, and you turned to him with a confused expression.

“Are you okay, Jamil?” you asked, concerned.

“Hahah, he was probably surprised at the praise! Jamil cooked everything after all!”

“Woah, you did? We definitely should exchange recipes.” with a particularly red face, Jamil nodded his assent before he excused himself.

“I hope he’s okay.”

“It’s fine! He’s having a hard time expressing it, but he’s really excited to see you.” Kalim peered at you curiously. “I am too, of course.”

“Same.” you agreed. “It’s a little sad we lost contact.”

“Well, finding each other now was pretty fun! So I think it was worth it.” You giggled in response.

“I’ll have to agree with you, Kalim.”

You both turned back to the front to watch the parade when Kalim spoke up again.

“Hey [Name]?”

“Hm?”

“This time... let’s not lose each other, okay?” You turned back to Kalim, surprised at the change of his tone. You couldn’t help but let your expression melt into a soft one.

“Mhm! This time... let’s keep those promises.” You two shared a grin, as the parade finished off with fireworks.

When Vil saw you hop up onto the stage, he had definitely been surprised. He hadn’t expected to see you--though now that he thought about it, it had been so out of the blue of you to ask him about whether or not he was in Pomefiore.

Then again he had been busy with other things... So he hadn’t thought too much on it. You were, after all, the type of person who brought up something from ten years in the past simply because you suddenly remembered it. He had assumed it had been something like that.

Vil stood with Rook by his side, his arms crossed as he waited for the Garden Academy students to exit the Mirror Chamber. Once you finally appeared in the crowd, your eyes instantly met his.

“Hi Vil.” you greeted--uncharacteristically nervous and shy around him, dressed in the pale purple colors of House Chrysanthemum--the House of Artistry.

At the sight of you, Vil’s lips instantly curled up into a beautiful smile.

“Well if it isn’t my number one fan.” he raised a hand and began to rub a finger against a purple mark on your cheek. “paint got to your face again.” Your tense shoulders loosened as Vil greeted you the same way he always did.

“Whoops.” Vil shook his head, and as he pulled back he noticed that your skirt and your sleeves had faint splatter marks of paint--and on your wrist--

“You need to stop writing on your wrist, dear one.” he chided gently, though used to your antics, he easily unclipped his magic pen from his breast pocket and began to cast a spell to clean you up.

“Is it that obvious? I really did try to clean up...” you complained, but you let Vil fuss over you--as he normally did. There was no stopping him until he was satisfied. When he finally pulled back, he nodded in an approving manner.

“Vil, did you like it? Was it a good surprise?” you looked up at him with curiosity shining in your eyes, and he let out a soft chuckle.

“Yes. It was a pleasant surprise. So we’ll be spending a whole two weeks together...” he mused.

You were a person he had grown up with, and the person he regarded as his dearest friend. Much like him, you had an eye for art--except while his art focused on himself as a model and actor--yours came in the form of paintings.

Your identical passion for beauty made the two of you attached at the hip. You were the one whose opinion mattered the most to him--because there was no one whose opinions he trusted more.

“Ohoho, Roi de Poison, who is this?” Rook peered curiously at you, he had never seen Vil react like this before...

Well actually he had. Whenever Vil was on his phone--but Vil never explained, and no matter how Rook tried, he never figured it out.

“This is my best friend, [Name]. We’ve been friends since our childhood.” Vil’s lips curled up, “She’s also--” Vil looked at you for a moment, and you nodded. Vil then mentioned your MagiCam account, and Rook’s eyes popped open in surprise. He knew that name--you were one of the most popular artist on MagiCam. Rook knew that you and Vil followed and liked each other’s works, but there had been no hint to the of your relationship with Vil.

He studied Vil curiously.

For someone who was never afraid to share what he did to the public’s eye, you were an incredibly well kept secret for Vil. From what he knew about you on MagiCam--you were a very private person who was never one to share your photos. Why, he knew that Idia Shroud from Ignihyde was a fan of some of your otaku related works--he had heard from the man that one of your quirks was that you chose to never appear in fan gatherings. You were incredibly mysterious.

To realize that--that person--

He eyed you curiously. You were far different from the women that Vil would often be seen hanging out with. As a model, he had a pretty extravagant social life. He hung out with people as glamorous as him and you--

Well, to put it plain and simple, you weren’t anything like that.

“So Vil, where do we go first?” you asked, Vil turned his gaze away from the analytical glint in Rook’s eyes, to smile at you.

“I’ll show you the gardens, I’m sure you’ll love them.”

After Vil had bid you ‘good bye’ as you and your classmates returned to your designated dorm, Vil looked at Rook with an annoyed expression.

“Alright Rook.” the Pomefiore Dorm Leader crossed his arms, “what is it?”

“What’s what?” the other third year raised his hands defensively.

“You kept staring at [Name] earlier with that look in your eye... I don’t like it.”

“I was just thinking... she was a very well kept secret.”

“A secret..?” Vil arched a brow. “She isn’t a secret at all. As you remember, she’s also incredibly famous on MagiCam.”

“No, I do mean, she’s a secret of yours, Roi de Poison.” Rook smiled, and Vil’s eyes narrowed in turn.

“I don’t understand.”

“You never mentioned her on MagiCam.”

“That was by her request. She wanted to build up her own audience.” Vil explained.

“Hm... that’s interesting.”

“What is?”

“I do believe...” Rook’s eyes slipped open. “That your friend is hiding something from you.

Vil didn’t like to believe what Rook told him, but he did wonder to himself how he could miss it.

You had considered each other best friends--yet he never noticed how you truly felt. The next time he caught you (because for some reason--it was as if you knew he wanted to talk to you about something important--and he had a difficult time catching you), he asked you if you could spend lunch together in private. You had happily agreed.

Once you two had sat down together in one of the gazebos in NRC’s gardens, he placed down the basket of food.

“Ah! Vil, it looks really good~” you said, happy.

“Yes, and you’ll see it’s all healthy too.” he smiled--how could he not, in your presence? As you two began to eat, you chattered on about what you’ve seen and liked about NRC so far. While he did listen--he can’t help but have his thoughts drift off to Rook’s statement.

Could you really be hiding--?

“--Vil? Is something wrong?” you put the utensil down, and studied your friend with a worried expression on your face. He felt a little guilty--your usual absent minded but happy expression was twisted with the furrow of your brow, and the downward slope of your lips.

“No it’s...” he hesitated a moment. He thought for a second how you were the first person to ruffle him in a long time. “I was thinking... we’re both big influencers now--in fashion and in the arts.”

“Alright, I’m listening.” you nodded.

“Why don’t we do a collaboration? While you’re still here. We have a week left.” He offered, and you furrowed your brows.

“I don’t know Vil--as alike as our fields are, our audiences can be pretty different.”

“Do you... well, do you not like sharing about me on your page?” Vil hated this. As an influencer, he was used to being loved and hated. There was a time when the comments got to him--but now, he’s able to brush it off with little problem. With you though--well, he was always going to be emotionally invested in you. So, of course you could make him feel this insecure. He hadn’t felt like this for such a long time--and it’s certainly much worse than he remembered. You looked alarmed.

“What? No, no! Of course that’s not it.” you frantically shook your head as you reached your hands out to hold his.

“Then why? I was happy that you didn’t want to mix business with our friendship... but well... something made me realize that we don’t have a relationship on MagiCam at all and...” Vil paused, and you rubbed the back of his hands gently. “And you’re so important to me [Name]. So I want to share that with my followers too.” Your cheeks turned red at that and you looked down on your laced hands.

“It’s just...” you inhaled sharply, “I... well, I know you have a certain image to uphold and--and I don’t want to be someone who would cause people to criticize you.” you pulled your hands away to gesture at yourself. Paint splattered blouse, ink on your wrist and hair--an absolute mess. “I mean look at me... and look at you. People have a hard time imagining we’re friends and--and well... I know the type of fans Beauty influencers can have. I don’t want to get criticized because I know you’ll defend me and I don’t want that to negatively affect your reputation.” Your eyes flickered away, and he could swear they were slightly wet.

Of course.

Rook was wrong.

Rook had assumed that perhaps you simply hadn’t wanted to be associated with Vil Schoenheit. While that was technically the truth--you weren’t doing it for negative reasons. You were just looking out for him--thinking about the best for his reputation.

“Like right now--I really wanted to see you, surprise you--so I impulsively joined the exchange program and couldn’t back out. I was worried about how people might see us hang out together... I’m worried about how what your fans will think...”

However, there was no way in hell that Vil Schoenheit would let you put yourself down like this.

“Okay, no.” he interrupted, and you looked up at him--confused.

“Vil?”

“I won’t allow you to look down at yourself like that. I appreciate that you care about my reputation but--” he takes your hands in his and looks you in the eye. “[Name], you’re more important to me than that.” your eyes water up, and he kept speaking.

“Sweet one, you were always my number one fan--even before my career really took off, you were the one who cheered me on. You were so sure I could do this, even when I had my own moments of weakness. You believed in me when no one else did.” Vl scowled, “So I’ll always be on your side too, alright? It doesn’t matter to me what they all think.”

“But... you really worked hard to get to where you are.” you said weakly, “It can happen super quickly...”

“I am not Vil Schoenheit for nothing.” he said in response, “besides--you are beautiful [Name].” your blushed intensified, and you ducked your head. “Do you not believe me? I know beauty when I see it--and I know you are.”

“Vil... please stop, you’re embarrassing me.”

“No I will not. I will keep telling you this until you know this. I refuse to let someone I consider beautiful, look down on herself like this. Alright?” He reached out a hand to lift your chin. Your eyes were wet, and you bit your lip as you nodded hesitantly.

He smiled, pleased.

“Vil... I’m sorry for not... well...”

“No, I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner. What type of best friend am I, that it took someone else pointing it out for me to realize it?” You giggled at that.

“Well, to be fair--we are best friends. I know how to hide it from you.”

“And you better stop hiding these things from me, alright?”

“Yes, of course.” you nodded, a grin finally lit up your face. Vil’s smile turned gentle.

“Now, how about we think of a collaboration project?”

As you stepped out of the Mirror Chamber, you immediately move in the direction of a familiar blue flame.

“Hello Ortho.” When Ortho looked up, he beamed brightly.

“[Name]!” He wrapped his arms around you, which you reciprocate with an elegant smile.

“It has been awhile, has it not?” you mused, as you let go of him. You quickly smoothened the pink skirts of House Eglantine--the House of Sophistication. You turned your head from side to side and your brow raised as you realized that a certain man wasn’t here.

“Ortho, where is your brother?” Ortho gulped nervously, and behind him--one of the Ignihyde student’s gadget began to shake. Your eyes narrowed.

“Is your brother holing himself up in his room again? On such an occasion? Which requires his presence as a dorm leader?”

“Uh...” Ortho glanced away nervously before he met your gaze again. “Yes?”

“Ortho!” squeaked the gadget, “you could defend me!”

“Sorry big brother... but you also brought it onto yourself.” Ortho said quickly, and your lips twitched at that. “There’s no point in lying to [Name].”

“That’s true.” you could hear Idia squeak from the tablet at your response. “Take me to his room.”

“Alright [Name].” Ortho agreed easily.

“Ortho!” Idia wailed, “on whose side are you on?”

“For once, not yours. Sorry big brother.” Ortho eagerly looked up at you. “Will you tell me some stories?”

“I also have pictures.” you offered and Ortho cheered. You turned back to the the tablet.

“Prepare yourself Idia.”

“I’m going to die.”

Your childhood best friend mourned, and your lips quirked in amusement.

Despite it all, you had missed Idia especially because...

Your lips twitched downward for a bit, before you immediately composed yourself.

You really didn’t want to upset Idia after all.

As he heard you begin to tell Ortho some stories from your school, Idia began to frantically run around his room, and cleaned up as best as possibly could.

After all, you weren’t a part of House Eglantine just for show.

Like him, you were the daughter of an incredibly old and wealthy family from the Isle of Lamentation. In your childhood, Idia, who had always been shy--attached himself to you, when you had protected him from some bullies. Ever since, he just followed you around.

For some reason, you chose to stick around with him--despite how different the two of you were.

He was an absolute shut-in who preferred to play games and watch anime from the comfort of his bedroom.

You were a popular socialite amongst the elite of the Isle of Lamentation--known for your beauty and intelligence. You were also recognized on MagiCam for your love of travel. In fact, you were often transported all over Twisted Wonderland because tourists locations wanted to be on your account.

Again, he really didn’t see why you stuck around.

A lot of his friends when he was younger--those seeking to befriend the Shroud Family’s heir--had given up on him when they all realized that he was difficult to communicate with.

But not you.

Ever since he attached himself to you--you had seemed to attach yourself back for no reason. You willingly called himself his best friend (and despite how different you were--he’d admit that you were the only friend he had that he could consider as a best friend--), which could hurt your social standing because of how insanely beloved you were--but you didn’t care (and of course, you’re also the type of popular kid that could never make yourself unpopular).

Don’t get Idia wrong.

He didn’t hate you.

You were patient.

You were kind.

You were understanding.

Idia definitely had a crush on you, and he didn’t know what to do with it--because he had such a hard time finding something about himself that you might be attracted to.

You were like the true hidden route to be conquered on a dating simulation game. First he would need to find a way to ensure that he were on the right path. Then next, he needed to complete a bunch of prerequisites to be able to even access this hidden route.

Your difficulty level was EX.

He had spent most of his childhood by your side--

‘but why does it feel like I know nothing about you?’ he frowned.

Truth be told, Idia had an idea on why. He had been very selfish with you. Nobody had been willing to talk to him about his interests in real life--except you. That’s why he talked to you about his games or robotics--because it’s different when someone in real life is the one doing the listening to you. In the process of that, he felt like you knew more about him than the other way around and it made him guilty.

He was guilty he didn’t hear you out often but the thing is--you never really shared.

“--Idia.” he felt a hand press against his forehead, and he fell backwards with a screech. You put your hands on your hips as you looked down at him with an arched brow. “Well, at least I know you aren’t running a fever.”

“You--you’re here!” He squeaked, “Already?”

“I am.” you looked around, and noted how messy his room was. Instead of commenting however, you began to move around and pick up his things. When you noticed he still hadn’t moved, you turned to him with an arched brow. “Come on Idia, I’ll help you.”

“Ah... Okay.” He looked up at Ortho in confusion, and it seemed that he was also stunned that you hadn’t gone straight into a lecture about his responsibilities as you normally would.

Idia considered himself a terrible friend, but he wasn’t so terrible as to not notice that you weren’t... well, at max HP. Sometimes he thought you would get angry, but you would instead sigh, and just avert your gaze.

When you were in public (because Idia was worried okay? So he kept an eye out for you too--) you seemed to interact normally with your peers. The fans you had in NRC--were dealt with your normal grace.

However, when you would visit Idia, you would grow quiet--and thoughtful.

It was, literally, killing him.

Was it him? Were you mulling the idea of cancelling your support together?

Idia sincerely didn’t know what to do if this was real.

So one time when you were in his bedroom, you suddenly got a call. You looked down at your phone, furrowed your brows in that way that Idia hated--and left the room.

“You should speak with her, brother.” Ortho suggested, a frown on his face. “she seemed really down recently.”

“I mean... what do I even say?” Idia squeaked.

“I’m not sure.” Ortho shrugged, “but I can tell your concerned brother, so just do it.”

Idia gathered all his courage, and moved to follow you. As he turned down the hallway he heard you speak.

“--I don’t want to marry Adonis.”

Idia immediately froze, and stood in place as he heard your one sided argument--with who he assumed--was probably one of your parents.

Alongside with being the most popular socialite of the elites in the Isle of Lamentation, you were also the most desirable waifu--ahem--he meant bachelorette.

Idia knew this because it was one of the only times you ever complained about it. Your parents were pleased with how popular you were, and the amount of marriage offers you received. You had told him that since you were pretty young, you weren’t really being forced to chose now.

“But I’m sure the pressure will be different when I grow older.” you had sighed. Idia hadn’t known what to say--and the most he could do was put a hand on your back.

“There... there?” he asked, with a frown. He really hadn’t known what to do. You looked up and met his eyes before laughing.

“Sorry to bother you about this Idia.”

‘No, it’s okay! I don’t mind!’ was what he thought, but you stood up.

“Venting helped a little. Thank you for listening.” you picked up your things and stared at a frozen Idia. “I think I’ll go home now. I’ll see you... later.”

He should’ve tried to stop you--but he just... blanked. He should’ve tried to say something--anything to cheer you up. Heck, maybe you would’ve liked for him to ask if you wanted to game a little to get your mind off of it.

“I’m serious mother... Adonis doesn’t respect women--I won’t...” you paused, “I won’t feel safe... I know father thinks he’s the best option but... I don’t really want to talk about this right now. I’m in Idia’s dorm...” you stopped again.

“Mother...” your voice was shaky, and Idia’s hands fisted in his coat. “No. Stop talking about Idia like that.” Idia tensed, and turned his head. “... It’s not about that, he’s my friend. My best friend. I won’t allow you to talk about him like that.”

Idia had an idea on what the elite of the Isle of Lamentation thought of him. They looked at him with respect because he was the heir to the Shroud Family, they also acknowledged his skills with technology... but otherwise? He was considered eccentric.

The reason your family did not mind your relationship with him--is because it brought them a certain esteem. That their daughter was the only one who the next Shroud heir would actively communicate with. The Shrouds were still one, if not the most powerful family in the Isle after all.

“Bye.”

Idia flinched, and he frantically looked around for a place to hide.

“Idia?” He looked up and noticed that you were looking at him with a startled expression, before it slipped to an exhausted one.

“You heard...?”

“A bit.” he croaked out. “Is that... why you were so sad?”

“You noticed?” He frowned at that.

“Of course I did... we’re... friends, right?” you studied him carefully, and he felt like he was in a boiler room or something--he was sweating a lot.

“Yeah we are.” you then slid down to the ground, and tucked your skirt underneath you. You looked up at him expectantly, and he hastily sat down next to you.

“So they’re pressuring you right now.” Idia stated.

“Yeah.”

“With Adonis.”

“Yeah...” you groaned, as you raised your hands to your temples. “they could’ve chosen anyone.. but they chose that narcissistic... arse.”

“Who are the other offers?” Idia asked, and you mumbled out a bunch of names he recognized. Hey, he might not be active in the social sphere, but he was aware on who was who.

“Adonis is...” Idia paused, “well in terms of social standing, I guess.”

“Yeah. Unless someone of higher status proposes, there’s nothing I can do.” you mumbled.

“What about me?” You whirled your head to look at Idia. “W-what--? You?” You cleared your throat, “I mean...that... I...”

“Oh.” Idia blinked in surprise. “No! NO! Wait! I meant, why--what was your mother saying about me?” Your face flushed red, and Idia found your flustered expression cute. You rarely showed that face.

“Oh you know, same old, same old.” you grumbled as you fanned your face with a hand. “Just... criticizing you... and all that.”

“Well... I can guess what she said, and... she’s probably... not wrong.” You turned to him with the same ferocity that you had done earlier.

“No Idia, don’t you dare speak of yourself as that. Don’t you dare listen to the elites on Lamentation. They couldn’t be even more wrong about you.”

“But--”

“No buts.” you narrowed your eyes, and he flinched at the sight of your fury. “You are an amazing person--you’re smarter than they think and you create some pretty amazing things. Sure you could stand to go out more and make friends--but when you’re focused on your craft...” you paused, and you expression softened. Idia wondered what you were remembering. “You are so amazing. I hate how they don’t see that.” His breath hitched.

“You really mean that?”

“Of course I do! I love you--your work.” you coughed in response. The two of you went silent, before you sighed and picked yourself up. He looked up at you, and you shot him the same sad smile you had--all those years back, when the problems of today seemed like distant nightmares.

“Thank you for listening to me, Idia.” you said, “and I’m sorry to bother you with my problems.”

“I... I’m your friend right?”

“... Yes.”

“So please... don’t worry about it [Name].” he looked away uncomfortably. “I may complain sometimes...”

“Sometimes?”

“Okay, all the time.” he said grouchily, and you giggled--which made it all the more worth it. “...even if I complain all the time--you’re still my precious friend.”

You smiled, leant down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

When you pulled back, Idia was stuttering, and turning red.

“Thank you, Idia.”

After you left Ignihyde, he sat back at his computer and began typing out an email.

For you--whose smile was so precious to him...

Idia knew that he liked you. A lot.

He probably already loved you really.

And judging from the way you reacted--

maybe it was mutual...?

Dear Lord and Lady [Surname],

The Most Ancient and Noble House of Shroud would like to extend an offer of engagement between your daughter, [Name] [Surname] and our heir, Lord Idia Shroud...

"Oh no.” one of the Garden Academy students, dressed in the aquamarine colors of House Sage--House of Spirituality, turned to Lilia with a frown. “We’re missing one of our fellow House Sage classmates... give us a moment, we’ll go find her.”

Lilia’s lips only curled upward.

“Would her name happen to be [Name] [Surname]?”

“Yes.” the student blinked in surprise. “That would be her.”

“Ah.” Lilia smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s fine. I’m sure he’s gone to find her already.”

The Garden Academy students shared a glance.

The most Malleus knew was that majority of the Student Body had gone off to the Mirror Chamber for some event. He didn’t know, after all, he hadn’t been invited.

So he had decided to go on a long walk, internally unamused that he was once more forgotten when he sensed it--

Your presence.

It was in the gentle caress of the wind against his face, in the rustle of the leaves, and in the soft warmth of the sun.

One moment he was incredibly unhappy, and in the next second--he felt your magic touch his.

It was like a ripple--and it soothed his entire being.

You and your magic--he wondered if you knew the extent of your effect on him.

He began to walk deep into the forest.

He paused in his step as he caught sight of you. You had sat down in a patch of sunlight in the small meadow. You were surrounded by some creatures of the forest--from bears to deers and rabbits. You looked completely serene--as you should--after all, you were one of the most powerful nature fae living. Coming from your head were horns--but nothing like his. Yours were shorter, and much more like tree branches. As you hummed idly to yourself, a few birds fluttered forward and decorated your horns with small flowers. Your smile brightened the clearing, and the birds--pleased--chirped a song that you instantly began to hum along with.

How he wished he could draw closer to you without disrupting the peace--animals didn’t do well with Malleus. They inherently knew how powerful he was--and though the same could be said about what they sensed from you--your powers were much more attuned to nature in itself. To be by your side--it would be peace for the animals.

‘ He could understand. By your side, there were no pressures to be anyone else other than himself.’

As he stepped into the clearing, all the animals turned to look at him, and tensed. You blinked in surprise at their actions, before you turned your head to see Malleus at the far edge of the small clearing you were in.

“Mal.” you greeted, your startled expression slipped into a sweet, happy one. “It has been a long time.” Malleus inclined his head. “Won’t you come close, dear friend?” you raised a hand, beckoning him to come closer.

He eyed the animals around you warily.

“I don’t think they will enjoy that.” You let out a soft laugh at his deadpanned statement. Your laugh seemed to instantly calm most of the animals down (he could feel his tensed shoulders unknot too). You looked around you and began to speak to them.

“Now now everyone--Mal is a dear friend. I grew up with him. He’s a good person. Won’t you all please be patient with him?” The animals around you shuffled uneasily.

You looked up again and gestured for Malleus to draw closer once more. Malleus approached slowly at first, and once he realized that none of the animals would be disrupted, easily slid down beside you. One of the male deers leaned forward to sniff him--and Malleus held as still as possible. Apparently satisfied, the deer relaxed beside Malleus. Around him, the animals slipped back to their relaxed states.

“See? That wasn’t so bad.” One particularly ambitious rabbit hopped up onto your lap and peered inquisitively at Malleus. You smiled, and began to brush your fingers through the animal’s hair.

“[Name], not that I’m unhappy to see you but...” He began, “what are you doing here?”

“My school, the Garden Academy is having an exchange program with your school.” you peered up curiously at your childhood friend. “Did you not hear?”

“As per usual, I do believe people have forgotten to inform me.” he frowned slightly. “Then... this would be the event being held at the Mirror Chamber, then?” You nodded.

“The event should still be ongoing.” Malleus eyed you curiously, but you spread your arms wide in response.

“The trees told me that some creatures were excited to see me.” You said--and the animals all made noises of agreement, “so I thought to visit them already.”

“Will your classmates and teacher not worry then?” You giggled at his questions.

“I appreciate the concern Mal but.. there’s nothing here that can harm me.” you said simply, and he hummed in acknowledgement--you were right.

You were perhaps the one person Malleus could consider an equal.

You had grown up side by side--and he was more than aware of your power and capabilities.

If there was one person who knew him as well as Lilia--it was you. You had seen him at his best and his worst--you were there when he could barely control his own magical power. He hadn’t been good at dampening his own energy back then--nobody ever approached him out of fear for the amount of power he had. The only one who bothered to interact with him had been Lilia, who had been his designated caretaker and...

And you.

You had no reason to be by his side when he had been his most volatile.

But you had been there.

And you stuck by him with no hesitation.

“How about you?” You glanced at the dragon fae from the edge of your eye.

“Ah. I wasn’t invited.” he answered with a sigh, and you could see the discontent in the almost, unnoticeable, wrinkle between his brows. You--who knew him so well--could spot the tiniest giveaways to Malleus’s moods--it was a skill you were proud of.

You were someone who occupied an almost identical role to Malleus. All that differs from the two of you is the type of magic you possessed.

As a dragon fae, and a descendant of the Witch of Thorns--it was easy to predict the type of power Malleus would eventually manifest. Draconic transformation and dark magic. This made people fear him, and dislike interacting with him.

As a nature fae, and a descendant of the Spirit of the Willow--most knew that you would grow to have power attuned with nature. It explained why you could speak the language of the trees and flowers--why animals adored you. To others--people saw you as harmless.

Perhaps in the beginning, you hadn’t really thought too much of your similarities. As years passed however--you realized how unfair the world was to Malleus.

They never saw the boy who sneezed and set Lilia’s hair on fire, they never acknowledged the man who treasured his Gao Gao Dragon toy--because it adored him as is. They didn’t allow Malleus to make mistakes, they didn’t allow Malleus to be vulnerable. They refused to see past this idea of a strong magician and the title of prince.

You reached forward and cupped his cheek. He turned to look at you quizzically.

“Then... should we have our own event?” You smiled, a tad bit more mischievous. You looked down at the animals. “Would you be willing to help out, my friends?”

The bunny in your lap twitched its nose in response, and a lot of the animals eagerly leaned closer.

“An event, like a party--to celebrate our reunion?” You glanced at Malleus to see him look on in curiosity. It seemed like the animals understood the idea of a party and began to move. You noticed the the female animals were the ones who specifically pulled you away, and when you glanced at Malleus--you noticed the the male animals began to surround him. He shot you a desperate look, but you only laughed.

“Let’s have fun!”

The male animals had weaved flowers together on top of Malleus’s head. Another animal had gotten several leaves, and put them together to form a long cape. He had no idea how the animals were doing it--but he just assumed it was because you were magic.

One of the birds flew over, and chirped loudly--which the animals took as a sort of signal. They all stopped and studied what they had done to Malleus. They began to make displeased noises, until one of the deers pushed a long stick towards Malleus. When he picked it up, he looked to the animals to see that they were all still unsatisfied. To humor them, He unclipped his pen from his breast pocket and waved it. He used the foliage that had fallen to the ground to decorate the stick--and craft it into a staff similar to his own.

“Is it good?” he asked, and the animals all vigorously gave their assent. At that, he could feel his lips curl up. The bird chirped again, and the animals snapped into action. One of the bucks nudge Malleus forward with his snout. “Ah, is it time to go back?” the birds make a pleasant chirping sound, and he allowed himself to be pushed back into the clearing.

He found himself in the clearing again--with all the male animals standing by his side. He thought briefly of what an amusing sight this probably was, until another bird chirped from the opposite side of the clearing. He raised his gaze that way, as a bunch of female birds flew in, and dropped flower petals onto the ground. The smaller animals came in first, followed by the younger fauns--and finally--

You stepped forth into the light of the clearing, and he found his breath caught in his throat. While the flowers on his form were restricted to his crown--the animals had chosen to decorate your whole form with it. Unlike the flower crown you were wearing earlier--this one had a train that fell to the ground, and billowed around you--making you all the more ethereal. Escorted on either side by the tall, elegant form of does--you resembled the idea of a Fae Queen with her animal court. As you came to a stop beside Malleus, you giggled at his surprised expression. He felt something tug on his pants, and when he looked down--he found a squirrel made exaggerated gestures towards you.

“Ah.” he looked up and met your curious gaze. “You look beautiful, [Name].” And he did mean it--for the centuries that he had known you, and the centuries he had yet to share with you--he knew that one thing would remain constant--the way you made his heart skip a beat, and the way you were beauty in everything you did.

“Thank you, Malleus. You look handsome” you blushed. That’s when you were both nudged forward by the deers, and were now much closer. One of the deers, snatched the staff in his hand. The birds fluttered around you, pulling your sleeves into place until finally--both you and Malleus were moved to a waltz pose. You stared into each other’s eyes, stunned. Malleus wondered briefly is animals were truly capable of sensing feelings he had--that even he had yet to fully comprehend.

“Shall we?” he offered, and you beamed in response. The birds began to sing, and the two of you proceeded to dance in the clearing.

“I think they enjoyed themselves, too much.”

“Did you have fun?” Malleus asked gently, and you smiled.

“I did but...” you curiously peered up at him. “Did you have fun?”

“I suppose I did.” He mused.

The other animals watched on--pleased.

Though neither of you saw it--blissfully caught up in enjoying your dance--they did. They could see the future King and Queen of Faeries.

#aiwrites #aiscenarios #ai dati series #ai tga verse #female reader #twisted wonderland #twst #twst scenarios #twst kalim #twst vil #twst idia #twst malleus

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violetnotez · 5 years ago

Text

Is the this the longest fic Ive ever written? Yes. Does it suck? Also yes. Will nobody read it because it makes no sense but Im still going to post because I wasted way too much damn on this thing? TRIPLE YES.

Word count: 10.4k words (she thicc)

Genre: Angst and Fluff, sfw

AU: Fantasy AU!, Hanahaki disease

Prompt: “How could your keep this from?”

Warnings: blood

Summary: You are born into a worls where you must marry your best friend, Prince Shoto, in order to unite your kingdoms in harmony. You are happy to marry your childhood friend and love, until he leaves for a quest unannounced, and you are left questioning if you really want to marry him. Once he returns a few weeks before your planned wedding, you begin to not fall in love with him, but one of his comrades- the barbarian, Bakugo.

*this is for the even for @bnhabookclub! Heres the link to the post if your interested!

Again. welcome to the shitshow that is my blog. read at your own risk cause this gets REAL WIERD REAL QUICK

Petals-all you could see were the petals.

Your mouth and throat felt so dry, your forehead damp with sweat as your back convulsed painfully, raspy coughs wracking out of your chest as you forced the petals out of your body.

They were so pale, like creamy vanilla, a stark contrast from the droplets of your blood splattered on the delicate buds.

You quickly reached for your handkerchief, wiping the residue off your dry mouth in fear of it dribbling on to your white dress-your wedding dress. Your hands were shaking, unable to cry any more tears at your misery-you had come to terms many weeks ago that you were going to reach an unhappy end.

Why did it have to be him?

----------------

You were the princess of your kingdom, destined to marry Prince Shoto of the neighboring kingdom. It was something you two had been accustomed to from birth- in order to connect the two kingdoms and end the quarrels between the two civilizations, you had to marry. It would be a harmonious marriage: Prince Shoto was kind, soft spoken, and a natural born leader. You two had been wonderful friends as siblings, your fathers putting away their troubles in order for you two to get along. They were hoping that by making you friends at a young age, you would learn to grow feelings for each other.

For a time, it worked-you had fallen for Prince Shoto, his soft yet powerful demeanor making you blush each time you remembered him, your young hands writing your name with his last in your journal like a prayer. At 13 you already began to count down the days until you would turn 18, because on that day, you were set to marry your predestined lover- Shoto Todoroki.

For years you had felt so lucky you were blessed with such a sweet boy to be with, being able to live out your lives harmoniously and in peace, something both your parents didn't have the luxury to have. It sometimes left you feeling frustrated- Shoto was truly kind, but very quiet about his thoughts. Your love felt one sided, Shoto seemingly only tolerating you because he had to.

Once he got older, he became more distant towards you, clearly wishing to rebel against his father’s wishes by being distant towards you. It hurt you immensely to see your best friend and crush plainly reject you, but you still held on to the hope that you two could be happy with each other. Yet all that changed when the Prince had left for a quest.

He had been gone for what seemed like an eternity and for a time, you were extremely worried. You could barely focus on your studies, only imagining your poor friend somewhere cold, hungry, and alone. You knew he would be fine, he was a resilient fighter, but yet you couldn't help but allow the worrisome thoughts to collect in your brain. After news that the Prince was in a neighboring kingdom, safely traveling with a young boy, a witch, and a warrior, you felt at ease- with all those comrades, he was sure to be safe. You finally breathed a sigh of relief, able to calm your anxieties after a long time of being unable to.

Information continued to trickle in, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but it always stated that the Prince was spotted safe and sound. You took solace in that information, and for awhile, you began to worry less and less about Shoto, until he was barely a memory.

During that time, you had begun to take on the habit of reading. Before it was a task you simply did when forced or extremely bored, only reading books and stories from your own kingdom.

With so much extra time on your hands waiting upon the Prince to return, you began to learn of other stories, ones that were trully a delight to you: stories of nomads who traveled the country and did rituals to bring them fortunes, women who sold potions by gathering mystical ingredients from the woods, people choosing their own destines and their own paths. It intrigued you- from birth you had one mission for your life: to unite your kingdoms. Once you married Prince Shoto, your destiny would be complete: and then what would you do? You had no other purpose, except being a symbol of that peace for the rest of your life, sitting pretty on a throne until your last breath.

It began to eat at your insides, gnaw at your conscience that you were merely a pawn in your father’s legacy. You could now fully understand why Shoto had been so defiant: he had realized the truth of his life as well.

Slowly, you began to learn to dread instead of anticipate your wedding day. With the Prince being gone, it was sending quite a ruckus in your home, your father more annoyed with each passing day that the Prince had not come back. You, on the other hand, rejoiced. The kings had both agreed at your times of birth that if anything happened to either child before your 18th birthday, the agreement would be cancelled and the marriage no more. They would rely on their children to fix their broken ties.

You had just turned 17, the mental clock beginning to tick in you and your father’s minds, as the Prince still wasn't back form his quest. Just a few more months, and you would both have your wishes: Shoto seemed to have no interest in marrying you, and why should you even for that matter? You two truly didnt love each other- your friendship was a hoax your fathers had created in order to save their own legacies. Your love for each other was man-made and a lie. Just a few more months, and you'd be free of this terrible fate.

------------

The day you turned 17 and a half, you were busying yourself on your plush pink bed, reading another novel about free spirited women in a far off land.

“Princess y/n,” your hand maiden opened the door quietly, afraid of disturbing you, “the King would like to speak with you.”

You gave your shy handmaiden a small smile, delicately marking the spot in your book as your feet landed on the cold floor.

“Thank you,” you replied, “Ill be there shortly.”

You entered your father’s study, his feet stomping the room heavily as he paced in deep thought.

The room was grand, a golden chair sitting in front of an old ebony desk, the room surrounded by maps, battle plans, and bookcases full of legends of stories written long before your time. Light flitted through long windows against the wall, looking out to the rural countryside and a matching red carpet run the lengths of the stone floors.

Your entrance seemed to have disturbed your Father’s train of thought, his head instantly looking to see who had interrupted him. Once he saw it was you, he sighed, greeting you with a tight smile.

“You wished to see me Father?’ you asked politely, your fingers tugging nervously at the sleeves of your dress. Your father never called upon you unless it was extremely important- had you done something wrong? You wracked your mind for any actions that would had been unwise for your father to find out, but to your surprise, you couldnt think of a single thing you had done.

“Yes, yes,” your father said hastily, waving his hands toward a small wooden chair at the foot of his desk, “please-sit. We have much to discuss.”

You sat on the hard chair, a chill traveling your back as you watched your father sit in his plush throne, his face clearly tired.

“As we all know, Prince Shoto has been on a quite a long quest for some time,” your father began, his voice deep with annoyance, “and has not come back. And with your 18th birthday fast approaching, and it worries me that the boy wont be back in time for your marriage. I have talked to King Todoroki about my worries, who also had the same fear, and he promised to bring the boy back and end his little shenanigan. But Shoto refuses to leave until his quest is complete.”

Your father took in a deep breath through his nose, his face a mix of anger and agitation.

Your heart beat excitedly- the prince wasnt coming back? The news bounced happily inside you, giving you some hope that you needed- that must have been why he had gone on that quest in the first place! Even though you were excited, you felt a tightness in your chest- you were childhood firend after all. He really didnt like you that much that he felt he had to run away?

“Oh dont look so solemn daughter,” your father comforted, his voice soft with sympathy,” Shotos father allowed the boy to finish his quest in 5 months’ time, and he is forced to return to his kingdom. In the meantime, we can not forget the whole reason for your marriage like young Todoroki has- you must connect the kingdoms in order to bring harmony.``

“Which is why,” your father added, “we must begin to plan the wedding.”

Your head shot up, the feeling of shock flooding your body. It was still going to happen? Your body began to feel heavy, your father's words fuzzy against your ear- you didn't want this, any of this. You felt trapped like a songbird in a cage, unable to scream out what you desperately wanted to say: if he didnt love you, you didnt want any part of this.

Your father seemed to not notice the look of terror on your face, continuing to inform you of his plan. “We already have sent out invitation to relatives and noblemen in other countries, as well as begin to plan out the festivities. It will be a 3 day event, full of food and parties and, of course, the celebration of our kingdoms coming together. The closer to the date, we will begin to need you for fittings of your dresses as well as rehearse your wedding vows and such. I promise I will make this as wonderful as I can, for you are my only daughter.”

The king smiled at you, wrapping your stiff body into a hug. You could barely feel his embrace- the world was numb to your screaming mind. You wished upon everything in you to end this, to make this all go away, but you knew you couldn't- you would be forced to do this whether you wanted to or not.

You simply nodded your head to your father’s parting words, and then ran to your quarters, shutting the door and ceremoniously throwing yourself on your bed in defeat.

--------------

For days you felt numb and broken, all fight leaving your body. You watched as all your handmaidens and servants ran like chickens around the castle, preparing for the enormous festivities coming in close time. You were a good and proper princes, silently placid and allowing everything around you to happen.

Flower arrangements, samples of sweets, and fabrics for your dresses all came to you, and you agreed to all of them or just randomly choose. You could care less for your “special day”- the only thing you could truly hope for was prince Shoto ignoring his father’s wishes and not coming back.

That, of course, was a wishful fantasy. You were having a blissful dream when your hand maiden barged into your room, clearly too excited to be considerate of your sleeping state.

“Miss y/n! Miss y/n! Oh please wake up! There is most wonderful news!” she cried excitedly, gently pulling the covers off your body, “You must get ready at once!”

“Prince Shoto- he is back from his quest!”

---------

The whole of the kingdom rejoiced at the news, since he had arrived a month before the wedding. He was here, ready to marry and unite the kingdom. That was all that truly mattered.

Your handmaiden dressed you in your most elegant gown, the icy aqua color bringing out the rosiness of your cheeks, as she placed pearly ornaments in your hair. You felt like you were being presented as a gift to the Prince, a reminder of what he was destined to do. You sighed, dreading having to reunite with your once friend and secret love.

Shoto was standing in the ballroom of your castle, very accustomed to it since you both played here occasionally as children. He was used to the golden floors and the crystal chandeliers the sizes of boulders, all hung gracefully in a row on the ebony ceiling. Him and his company were standing shoulder to shoulder, facing the polished staircase cascading towards them.

He looked at his new found friend’s faces, their expressions clearly in shock. Izuku, his face ruddy with dirt and his cheeks aflame from nervousness as he twisted his shirt between his fingers (a nervous tick Shoto had noticed). Uraraka gawked at the room around her in awe, her wide eyes drinking up the scene in front of her. Bakugo was least impressed, his arms crossed in front of his exposed chest and his eyes formed in judgmental slits.

Shoto had told the others before why he had to go back, but only after the quest was over- he wanted to help his new found friends, and after promising to help them in their battle, he would have felt extremely guilty leaving them behind.

Their reactions were mixed when he revealed he had a marriage in a few weeks time- Izuku was clearly shocked yet in awe hed be marrying a princess, while Uraraka seemed to find the situation romantic. Bakugo simply laughed, mocking him from being such a “sissy” for actually getting married in the first place.

Shoto was feeling conflicted inside at the moment- it had been so long since he had last seen you, and when he had, he was less than kind to you. He was quiet, distant, and quite petty about the whole situation of your marriage. You had turned barely 17 when he left, his young body desperate for some adventure and resilient to his father’s wishes. He merely saw you as a nuisance, someone in the way of his freedom. He knew it was unkind and unjustified, you didn't know what was going on inside him, but he was angry nevertheless and desperate to leave. So when he was approached by young boy in need of a friend for his quest, it was hard to resist the offer.

But as nights when on and he had time to be alone with his thoughts, his mind always seemed to travel to you. The way you giggled, your laughs sounding like chimes in the wind, or how your smile always seemed to make his skin tingle with warmth.

You were always a strange girl, but always in the best way, daring Shoto to races even thought your father said it was “unlike a princess to do so” or trying to braid Shoto’s mix-matched hair.

He would never forget the day he had allowed you to do so, your nimble fingers soft against his skin and making him burn up from nervousness. Your touch was so calming and soothing, your small compliments and soft voice sending his soul soaring with pleasure. It was then he realized he had loved you for you, not because he was forced to.

Shoto felt guilty for forgetting those cherished memories in his fits of anger, but he had agreed to help Izuku and he vowed to not give up on that promimse. Months went on, and Shoto couldnt tell how much time had passed: he only hoped you were doing okay without him.

It wasnt until his father had came to collect him that he realized how short he was on time. He had still stuck by his friends, yet the constant reminders of your wedding was in the air, haunting him. They would travel through kingdoms, the whispers of this event following him as the townspeople began to talk. It was a wonder his friends never caught on except him, only to find out weeks before your wedding.

Now Shoto was standing in the ballroom, feeling quite nervous- he hadnt seen you in so long….would you look any different? He was certain your beauty had grown by then, the thought of you looking older and more womanly bringing a blush to his cheeks. How would you see him? He had become quite a different person on his quest, his body becoming more hardened from battles with bandits and the harsh life of travelling. Would you feel the same for him still? Were you just as excited as you were so many years ago to finally be together?

Shoto heard the clicks of shoes on the wooden floor, a man with the straightest back he had ever seen standing proudly at the steps of the stairs.The man took a deep breath, his voice traveling through the room as he announced your arrival to the group of travelers.

Yet Shoto didnt hear a single word he said- he was enraptured by your beauty. You had seemed to turn into a fine young woman since he had last seen you, your curves accentuated by the tightness of your gown, the blue complimenting you perfectly. Your hair flowed in soft ringlets on your back, the pearls in your hair like stars. You were an angel blessed to this planet- an angel he was destined to marry.

The only thing that was worrying him was your expression- he had expected you to seem so much more lively, welcoming the bright smile you would always give him when you saw him. But now, your face was gone of any warmth, looking almost numb to the situation as you looked down at the group.

You traveled down the stairs, hating the way your name sounded in the announcer's voice. This was all so cliche- the Prince comes from a quest, and there is the Princess, simply a prize for his hardwork. A trophy of sorts for doing a good deed. Why did it have to be this why? Why couldnt you feel anything? The world had felt so cold for so long, feeling trapped due to the lack of control you had. Everything had seemed to loose its splendor and color, your vision for weeks turning gray in sadness-

Until you saw him.

The ash blonde boy, his hair unruly and his eyes a bright red like blood. He was clad in strange clothes, like a barbarian, his chest completely open and showcasing his taut muscles. You were intrigued by him- you had only seen likes of him in books and stories you read. He was so different, so menacing, and you wanted to know more. He was the only thing you could focus on, not taking any time to look at the others in the group, including Shoto.

Shoto was the first to reach you, unafraid to approach you like the rest of the group as you reached the bottom of the steps.

“Y/n-” he said, his voice deep and airy, “you look-wonderful.”

You gave him a small smile, but it made his heart sink- you didnt look happy at all. It seemed forced, far from the bright grins you used to send his way all the time.

“As do you, Shoto. You look quite different from when we last saw each other.”

You quickly turned your attention away from him, focusing on his new comrades instead.

“I assume these are the young heroes that accompanied you on your journey?”

“Y-yes!” the young boy with the unruly green hair stuttered, nervously bowing his head. He was quite adorable in a way, his small stature and freckles dusted on his cheeks giving him a child-like quality (even though he was most likely your age). “My name is Izuku Midoriya!”

You gave a reassuring smile to the young boy, trying to make him feel comfortable.

“It is wonderful to meet you Izuku.”

You began to walk towards the girl know, her pointy yet colorful hat signaling that she was a light witch, a sorceress who used your powers for good.

The girl shimmied in her dusty boots, clearly as nervous as the boy. She lifted the corners of her cloth dress, bowing slightly.

“My name is Ochaco Uraraka, your highness,” she smiled sweetly, her cheeks dusted in a pinky glow.

“Ochaco…” you mused over the name, its sound foregin yet light on your tongue, “you are a light witch, I assume?”

“Yes, yes I am!” the girl practically squealed, relief seemingly flooding her face. ‘How did you know?”

You giggled a her amazement at you, completely unaware apparently that she had the most witch-like outfit you had ever seen.

“A lucky guess,” you shrugged your shoulders playfully as you began to walk again, your heart beginning to race as you edged toward the barbarian.

You stopped in front of the man, his stature a head taller than yours. You eyes looked slightly up at him, your cheeks reddening- he was much more handsome up close, his rugged features making you feel breathless. He un-apologetically judged you with his vermilion eyes, looking you up and down with scorn.

Why did you find that so attractive?

“And you are-”

“My name is Bakugo.” he instantly interrupted you, his voice deep and velevty like syrup, “thats all you need to know.”

“Bakugo?” Your brain searched for any name similar to that, but found none- this boy was definitely a foreigner, most likely from far off lands you could only dream of. You had no idea why he followed Shoto back to the kingdom, but you were happy he did- he was definitely a sight for sore eyes.

“A warrior, I assume by your garments,” you nodded, your eyes trailing to his torso “and by the looks of your scars, an experienced one.”

He scoffed at your observations, his eyes rolling in his sockets.

“For a princess, your eyes wander a damn lot. But yeah- Im hella of a good warrior. Best in the kingdoms.”

You cocked an eyebrow at his language, your cheeks red by his comment. He was so unapologetic and rude, yet- it was intoxicating to you.

“I’m glad to here that.”

Shoto was eyeing you sadly the whole time- what was so different between you two? Why did you seem so welcoming to the others but so distant to him? His face began to turn red with fury as he watched you interact with Bakugo, the way Bakugo insulted you so plainly and cockily making him want to yell. He watched as your face had light up for just a moment when you spoke with him, something Shoto didn't get the luxury to experience.

He also noticed what Bakugo had vocalized- you eyes did wander when you looked at him. Shoto at first tried to rationalize that you were simply being curious, since Bakugo was definitely a strange sight for you, but the way your cheeks blushed and you smiled so warmly at him made him think otherwise.

What did you see in that barbarian that you didnt with Shoto?

You looked again at the odd group, taking a deep breath through your lungs.

“I want to congratulate you all for your successful quest,” you began, the lines slightly rehearsed, “and as thanks from my father for bringing back Prince Shoto, he would like to welcome you all for dinner tonight. We would love to hear all about your journey then,” you then snuck one last look at Bakugo, his eyes boaring into yours. It was making you feel a warmth inside that you had thought long ceased.

You instantly looked down at your hands, your cheeks feeling hot. You knew this was wrong- you shouldn't feel smitten for any other boy, especially this warrior, yet you couldnt help it- you were entranced by his resilience and the freedom he had, something you could only dream of.

“If youll excuse me, I have - things to attend to. It was a pleasure to see you all” you gave the group a tight smile, turning your back quickly from the group to follow your handmaiden back to your quarters.

Shoto watched you until you were gone, his heart beating painfully. He wished he could run up to you, grab you by your wrist and ask you what was the matter. It was still him, your friend for all those years, and you were still you, his love and his best friend. Were you beginning to forget, like he did? He felt his stomach drop painfully at the idea- he would ask you, tonight. He would figure out what had happened between you two, and fix it.

--------------

You were now at dinner, sitting stiffly as you moved your food around your plate, your tight corset making you feel un-hungry. All night you had been detached and quiet, feeling almost sick by your surroundings. Your father was overly outgoing to the guest,giving you side-eyed glances and trying to enter you in the conversation. You would simply smile and nod, occasionally throwing in a comment before returning to squishing your food between your utensils.

The only time you ever seemed interested was when Bakugo would speak. His comments were all snarky and rude, completely self centered about how strong or intelligent he was.

He was constantly proving his worth throughout the dinner, taking over the story of their journey when he saw fit, making sure everyone knew he was the most capable one of the group. It was obscene, his remarks, his language, even his personality, but- you were intrigued by it. The only person he had to listen to was himself. It was so intoxicating to watch him talk, to hear what other remarks would leave his mouth. Whenever he spoke, you stood up a little straighter, taking time to take in any information he gave about himself and immortalize it into your brain.

Shoto had felt awkward the whole meal, not knowing how to gauge your emotions. You seemed so distant, as if a stranger was sitting next to him. He wished he could enter your mind, detangle all the emotions and thoughts that were keeping you from being yourself around him. There was no laughter, no genuine smiles, no happiness came from you. This bothered him- you were usually so cheerful. His nervousness was eating the inside of his stomach, as his mind still couldn't figure out how to approach you after dinner.

“-and the wedding will be a three day celebration, full of festivities,” your father continued boisterously, his voice booming embarrassingly around the room, “Shoto and y/n will be the main attention, of course, over 200 noblemen will see them share vows-”

The sound of your chair pushing away echoed throughout the dining hall, making the whole group look to you. You cleared your throat delicately, a hand resting on your chest.

“Excuse me for my rudeness, but Im feeling- unwell,” you sighed a quick smile.

“Are you alright, do I need to-” the king asked, his eyes full of concern as you shook of his worries.

“Oh no, Im completely fine- just a headache,” you gave a pained smile, “I hope you all enjoy the rest of the meal.”

Shoto watched you walk away, desperate to make sure he knew which way you went in this large castle. He instantly pushed away from the table as well, rising quietly.

“I- uh-am full, thank you for the meal,” he bowed to the King slightly, placing his napkin on his plate as he rushed out, confusing the group that was left.

Izuku and Ochaco looked at each other, their cheeks red with embarrassment and shock as they looked at Bakugo, who was clearly not bothered by the disturbance. Ochaco then looked at the king, who was clearly confused by the whole ordeal, as an awkward air lay heavy on the table.

Ochaco hastily took a large bite from her plate, filling her mouth with food- “MMMMMM!” she exaggerated, trying to start up conversation again, “I LOVE the ham!”

------------

Shoto ran around the castle, looking through every corridor and door, searching for you.His head was racing, trying to organize his thoughts in his minds. He needed to figure out how to speak to you- should he act normal, like nothing was wrong? Should he be formal and see how that went? Angry? Upset? He didnt know how to approach you, but he knew he had to do it.

He finally saw your gown turn an empty hallway, his feet picking up pace. He quickly was able to catch up once he could pin point your location, his hand wrapping around your wrist in order to stop you.

You felt slender,cool fingers wrap around your skin, making your body run cold. You instantly jumped by the sudden touch, all breath leaving your body as you turned around quickly.

Your wide eyes met the mix matched orbs of Shoto, a small pang of annoyance filling your body from getting so scared.

“Shoto,” you replied breathlessly, slightly happy though it was only him and not somebody else that had grabbed you.

“I-uh-y/n,” he replied back, his mind going blank.

He let go of your wrists, his hands resting at the side of his body. “I-Im sorry to scare you like that,” he apologized, “I just- wanted to speak to you. If you’ll let me.”

You looked at the boy, his eyes now averting yours, probably from nerves. You decided to listen, turning your body to him.

“Apology accepted,” you said plainly, “What did you want to speak about?”

Shoto drew a blank- what did he want to talk about? He loved hearing your voice, finally only reserved for him, but yet you seemed preoccupied. Distant. Like you were on another world and not truly there with him.

He stared at you lightly, looking extremely conflicted. “I-I wanted to talk to you about what happened while I was gone.”

“You explained quite plainly what happened on your journey,” you replied, clearly not in the mood to talk, “I applaud you for your bravery, it must have been quite a difficult journey-” you gave him a small bow, your eyes gone of any warmth. “I really must go to bed, Im sorry, but i do feel-”

You began to walk away again, Shoto desperate to keep you near him. He walked in font you, blocking your path.

“You didnt here me correctly-” he changed his wording this time, trying to be as specific as possible. “I want to know what happened to you while I was gone.”

You eyebrows turned down in confusion. “What are you trying to say Shoto?”

He swallowed, trying to clear his dry throat as he licked his lips, conflicted.

“You seem-different.”

“Its been a year and a half since I last saw you, Shoto,” you reasoned, “of course Ill be different.”

“Yes, but-” he paused, “youre too different. Youre not the same y/n I knew.”

“Why? Because Im not following you around like a love sick puppy?” Annoyance began to bubble inside, feeling attacked by Shoto’s words. “Because I finally got over the fact you didnt love me ? You dont have to pretend Shoto, I know full well you only see me as a nuisance.”

Shock flooded Shoto’s system as your icy words pierced his skin. What happened to you? Yes, he was rude to you before he left, but he didnt feel like that anymore. That was a simple phase, were you going to define him by that?

“I dont see you as a nuisance, y/n.”

“Really?” you scoffed at his words. “then tell me why your father had to go out to find you twice before you finally decided to come back?”

“I made a promise to my friends. I had to finish my quest before-”

“You had a promise to me, Shoto!” you yelled exasperatedly, your heart bursting with hurt. “To your family! To my family! Our people! What was so much more important than that?”

“I was so worried about you Shoto, terrified for you. Those first few months I couldnt think of anything but you.” You were beginning to reveal a lot, too much, but the emotions, the hurt, the anger, was flooding out of you like a broken dam and you couldn't stop it.

“But then I realized that you didnt care for me. You thought I didn't notice how you gave me the cold shoulder those last few months? How you ignored me, only gave me quick answers, acted as if I was just a pest following you around? I remembered all of it, and then I realized- you left because of me.”

“You left because of me, didn't you, Shoto?” your voice was harsh and crude like metal, stabbing into Shoto’s conscience.

He stayed silent- how could he say anything back? Your words were making him feel small and foolish- he should have known that you would have noticed his change in demeanor, just as he noticed yours.

You smiled painfully at his silence, feeling a fresh cut of pain slash inside you. “I knew it.”

“Y/n, I-” There was so much he wanted to say, things he wanted to take back. He didnt want this meeting to go like this- with you even more distant to him. Out of all the possible outcomes, this had to be the worst one.

“Dont even try to backtrack Shoto, I know the truth now,you just confirmed it.”

He knew he was less than kind to you before he left, but know it wasnt like that anymore. Why were you so angry?

“Fine-yes-I left, and it wasnt right,” he admitted, his voice deep, “but Im back. Why are you putting my old self against me now?”

“Because I couldn't for the year and half you were gone! I-I loved you Shoto, and you-”

“You dont love me anymore?” Shoto looked down at you sadly, his eyes full of sorrow. It felt like his heart was breaking in two, the way those words spilled out your mouth so easily making it sting even more.

You swallowed, filling a pit grow in your chest. Everything felt so cold, so empty. This was your best friend- why couldn't you just be nice to him? You thought you had gotten over all this.

“You dont love me-so why should I love you?” your voice was barely a whisper, cold and empty in the frigid hallway.

Shoto stared down at you, his voice caught in his throat. Did you really believe that? That he didnt love you?You had been friends since children- you really thought all those times, all those days you played together, were all fake? Who even were you?

“I just want you to know,” you spoke, your voice monotone and icy,” Im not doing this for my father, or your father, or even you. Im doing this for my people and thats it.”

“It” meaning the wedding.

Tears began to prickle your lashline, confusion flooding your numb body as you began to walk away from Shoto-

you hadnt cried in what seemed like forever.

Why were you now?

“Y/n, please, can we just talk-” he tried to reason, harsh with desperation.

“No.” your voice was plain in its tone that you were done with the conversation.

“Im just curious Shoto- why did you come back? Because if I had the luxury to have all that freedom, to be free for once- I wouldnt.”

Shoto’s heart felt broken as he watched you walk away, your dress ruffling as you continued on your path. He felt defeated, confused, even angry- what had happened to you since he had been gone? Did you really hate him that much? What did you mean you had no freedom? More questions flooded his mind than what were answered, but he now knew one thing- you didnt want anything to do with him.

As Shoto’s was returning to his corrdiors sadly, you were lost in thought, just feeling- empty. You didnt feel sad, or angry, or even spitefu anymorel. Just- numb to the world. You could walk for miles and miles it seemed and you wouldnt feel a thing.

Why was that? Why were so mean to your long lost firend? You should be hugging him from happiness and relief-not meeting him with coldness and hate.

As you were lost in thought, you didn't even notice yourself running into a person. Your hand instantly reached out, meeting soft yet rough skin. You looked up in confusion ,and your breath hitch- it was the barbairan, his vermilion eyes like rubies as he stared down at you in scorn.

“Oi, watch were your going you damn princess,” he scolded,pushing you off him gently. You stumbled slightly, trying to get your footing right- you had run in to him, you had even touched him. If you were feeling alright, and if the circumstances were different, you could practically squeal. “Youre gonna hurt someone.”

“Did I hurt you?”

He scoffed at your comment. “Like you could ever hurt me,” his voice was deep and velvety, his comment sending shocwaves into your system. The reply was prideful, yet it could have been- sweet. Kind, in a way in a different light- maybe he meant it like that?

“How do you know that?” you blurted out, a small smirk crawling across your lips.

You just wanted him to talk more, to hear that velvety voice directed towards you- but you were close to flirting with him. What were you doing? What was going on with you?

One second you were chewing out your life time friend weeks before your wedding, and now you were being smitten with a random man you didn't even know.

He chuckled slightly, his canines glinting. “Your a fucking handful, arentcha?”

He eyed your wobbling feet, as you still were finding your footing slightly.

“You clearly cant walk right-you feeling fine, because Im not gonna be the one who carries you-”

“No, no , Im fine.” you reassured, your cheeks rosy. ‘Thank you for catching me.”

“Youre the one who ran into me.”

“You could have just pushed me off though, you seem like the type to do that,” you gave him a cheeky grin, it disappearing when you heard a slight growl come form him.

“The hell you mean princess?” he was trying to be menacing, but you could tell there was something behind it- he was curious. You loved how he called you “princess”, making it sound like a pet name than a title.

“Your a lone wolf, are you not? You are strong, independent, free-” you began to list off, your eyes focusing on his, “you follow your own code and beliefs”

“Damn right I do,” he agreed, your heart soaring that he looked so proud of you for describing him so perfectly. “-which is why Im confused as hell that half-and-half prince is allowing himself to get married.”

Ouch.

The small amount of hope that Bakugo seemed to like you had quickly got destroyed, feeling hurt flood your body. You quickly tried to shake it off, so Bakugo couldn't see it on your face.

“What he even want to talk to you about anyway?” The boy shifted in his stance, his muscles moving with his movements.

You gulped, guilt filling your body- Shoto, the one who had just fought with. You couldnt tell this boy what had happened- that was private, and really, it was embarrassing.

“Just-uh-about-” you stammered, your cheeks red as you searched for a lie.

“Ugh, let me guess, you two were trading spit werent you?” he interrupted in disgust, taking your red cheeks as a sign you two were doing something unholy in the hallway.

You swallowed, licking your lips as you gave him a tight lipped smile. You were just going to follow along with Bakugo’s line of reasoning- you didnt have any other better ideas.

“Y-yep, just- please dont tell anyone?”

He gave a bitter laugh, his voice booming against your ears. “You guys cant get dirty? I guess that makes sense, since you all our royalty, cant be having any scandals-”

“Do you promise?” you rushed him, now feeling uncomfortable- if anybody heard you and Shoto were kissing in the hallway, and you two were really arguing-

“Yeah, dont worry princess, youre secrets safe with me.”

You sighed a breath of relief, feeling your heart jump at the smirk the boy sent your way.

“Thank you- I- uh- best be going now,” you stammered, rushing past the warrior, “have a nice night Bakugo.”

You rushed to your room, your heart feeling on fire. Your hands were shaking, your mid racing- all you could think about was that boy. Your world had seemed so dark, until he showed up. His rude responses, his chaotic personality, his snarkiness, that overly prideful speech, his freedom- it was so intoxicating to you. You felt your heart pumping against your chest- you hadn't felt this alive in so long.

You suddenly felt very sick, your head feeling drowsy- maybe you were actually catching something, and thats why you were acting so strange? You were gasping for breath it seemed, your corset making it hard to breath. I felt like something was tightening around your chest, small prods poking into you from the inside- it was a strange sensation, one you did not welcome in the slightest. You stumbled to your bed, holding on to the post as your lungs felt tight with no air, liking something was blocking your passageway. Coughs began to erupt out of you, wracking your body until you finally felt you could breathe. You sucked in a deep breath, welcoming the sweet night air, your chest still feeling tight. You looked down at the ground, trying to slow your stammering heart, until your eyes feel upon something new- a single white petal, resting softly on the ground.

------------

After that night, You became obsessed with this boy, learning bits and pieces from him though conversation you had overheard from Shoto’s friends and workers inside the castle. You learned he was from an extremely far off land, past even the Mountains, which surprised you. He lived alone, and apparently had a dragon as well. He had gotten in many fights due to his overly prideful personality, which was why he had so many scars decorating his taut body. Your handmaidens seemed to look at him with annoyance, saying he refused to wear anything “civilized” and would plainly cuss them out if they even set foot in his room to clean.

You knew he had a softer side though- he had kept your “secret” safe, right? You heard nothing around the castle about any make-out session or argument between you and Shoto. That little act made you feel special in someway- maybe he had a soft side for you?

Whenever you would feel yourself getting sucked into the sadness of planning your wedding, you’d think of fantasies with that barbarian boy. Him taking you in the middle of night, taking you far away from this place. His hands placed around your waist, that snarky smile looking down at you again.

Seeing him walk around the castle grew a desperation and love in your body, watching his handsome face stare around the rooms, his voice loud and prideful- you wished he could look your way, acknowledge you again. His vermillion eyes sent fire into your soul whenever you closed his eyes, his face being a beacon of warmth in your life.

Yet that beacon of life was killing you from the inside- every day and every night you fantasized about Bakugo, the sickness taking over you grew worse and worse. The closer you got to your wedding day, the worse it felt, the vines inside you prickling at your soft organs. They were growing, you felt it, as you coughed up more and more petals.

For a few days you had no idea what was going on, fear striking you as you wondered if you should ask to see a doctor. But you decided to do your own research, scourging through books until you found your sickness: Hanahaki. The the mythical disease for unrequited love. It was quite rare, but it came to the most lonely, delusional, and desperate of lovers.

It made sense, really- it all started when you talked to Bakugo, after falling in his arms. It hurt he didnt love you back- but why should he? One run-in shouldn't make people fall in love with each other, but somehow it made you. You welcomed the pain alittle, as it was a reminder you still had some feeling other than emptiness inside you. It also terrfiied you- you were supposed to be in love with Shoto, not some barbarian from a far off land you barely spoke to.

How had this happened, how could you let this happen?

Even if you did tell others you had Hanahaki, they would point the finger at Shoto, calling him cold and callous for not loving you. You were the one who was the cold one, pushing your old friend away. Even if you felt some residue of anger for him, you wouldn't put him through that- he didn't deserve it. You let this disease do its course- if it went away youd be freed, knowing that Bakugo loved you back, and if not- well, you’d figure that out when you got there.

You had barely talked to Shoto or even noticed him since that night, not realizing the amount of worry he felt towards you. Everyday that went by he noticed how sick you looked, your skin paling and you eyes losing any life. Every cough you tried to hold back he noticed and it rang in his ear like a terrible siren- there was something wrong with you.It ate at his insides, his fear of you pushing him away again making him scared to ask what was wrong.

------------

It was now the night before you wedding and you were feeling less than hopeful. You were supposed to be lively and happy, as your father had thrown a party to celebrate the events of the next day, yet you had no energy left in you to dance or socialize. You stayed in a dark corner, trying your best to blend in and not be noticed.

The coughs were not leaving, and it felt like your chest was being constricted until you could barely breathe. The annoying tickle of a cough was constantly at the back of your throat, as you tried to keep the petals at bay. You were miserable.

“Princess, are you doing alright, you seem a little- pale? Do you need some water, or maybe fresh air,” the young witch Ochaco approached you, her rosy cheeks and bright eyes looking at you.

“Hello, Ochaco,” you greeted, your smile strained, “you know-fresh air would be nice.”

The sweet girl smiled at you, gingerly taking you by the crook of your elbow and out of the ballroom. The fresh air was rather nice, soothing your hurting brain and your sore lungs. You two walked in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company. Your mind was shifting around, thinking about Shoto and what would happen tomorrow. It hurt too much, though- you still were both not at speaking terms, and now you had to be promised to each other for eternity. The thought made your throat itch even more, and instead, you switched to own of your many fantasies of Bakugo that brought you some comfort.

“So, how are you feeling? Nervous, excited, scared?” Ochaco asked gingerly

“About what?” you asked, looking at her with curiosity

“Uh,um-your wedding,” she giggled nervously, her cheeks growing red again.

Oh-you cursed yourself for getting to invested in your fantasy, feeling embarrassed for thinking of Bakugo and not about Shoto.

You really didnt know how to answer her question-You felt yourself dreading it-how could you tell her that? But you didnt want to lie to her- lying to her would be practically evil, like giving a child a promise and not fulfilling it.

“Its expected of me to marry him,” you reasoned out carefully, “Ive been thinking of this day since I was a child.”

She gaped out you in awe. “Really?That early? In your kingdoms is it a tradition to marry from each other’s kingdoms?”

You gave her a wihsful smile. “Actually- no, it isnt. We’re the first ones.”

Her brown bob fluttered against her cheeks, her eyes staring up at you in confusion.

“I-if you dont mind me asking,” she asked nervously, “why is that?”

You sighed, giving her a small smile.

“Its kind of a long story….”

------------

“Long ago our two kingdoms began to quarrel against one another. But that happened years back- we still continued to fight against each other, and quite frankly, we forgot about why. We just knew we hated each other and wanted to see the other fail. My father had always said to me that my mother wished for her children to be born in a peaceful kingdom, yet my father’s pride prevented that from coming true for her.

“Until the day I was born- my mother, sadly, died while giving birth to me. My father now had no queen, and really, no future ruler, since I am a girl and only men can become ruler in my kingdom. In his grief, he began to feel sympathetic, I suppose- he knew King Todoroki had a young boy who was barely turning 4, and my father got an idea. He travelled to his kingdom, and somehow was able to talk King Todoroki into an agreement.”

“In order to end the suffering of our two kingdoms, Shoto and I would marry once I turn 18, in which would bind our kingdoms forever in peace, with Shoto as ruling over both.”

Ochaco breathed out a large sigh, giving you a conflicted expression.

“So-thats why you two are getting married? Its arranged?”

You looked at her in confusion-“Didnt-Shoto tell you that? I thought Bakugo at least knew-”

“Bakugo?” Ochaco blinked a few times, clearly puzzled. “Bakugo just thought it was quite, well, wierd Shoto was getting married- Bakugo is just a lone wolf who cant understand love I guess-”

You strangely felt angry at her words- how could she even say that about him? Yes, he was cold and callous at times, but how could she know he couldn't at least love? You knew he had to at least have some way of having feelings for another person, you had to at least hope for that-

“-it must be why he left last night,”

You stopped in your tracks, feeling a ton of bricks pound into your chest.

“He-he left?

“Um yeah! Something about being ‘bored waiting around for a stupid’- oh my gosh, y/n are you alright!?”

You were coughing up quite alot, your lungs dry and painful as your heart tore in two. He-he left. Without you. Without even a goodbye.

After all that daydreaming, all that hope, that dedication to him, hoping he would notice you- he left. He never loved you, and you knew it- you were just so desperate for someone to take you, to teach you how to be free.

You wanted him to teach you, to see potential in you that you could be just as defiant to the world as him.

Uraraka wrapped her slender arms around your body, patting your back softly to help you rid your body of whatever had attacked you. It was taking everything in you to not let a single petal fall out, the itching in the back your neck unbearable as your heart beat agonizingly against horribly.

You felt a few silky petals slip out of your mouth, soft against your dry tongue. Miraculously, Uraraka didn't suspect a thing- most likely from the darkness she couldn't see the disease overtaking you.

You gulped desperately for air, finally getting a hold on your lungs.

“I-Im fine,” you panted out, raising from the floor on shaky knees. “Thank you”

Urarka gave you a pointed look, clearly not convinced. “Of course, but are you sure? Do you need water, or maybe I should get Shoto-”

“No!” you yelled out, covering your mouth in case of another attack.

You felt a little guilty for yelling at Uraraka so harshly, her wide eyes looking at you in shock-you just couldnt bear seeing Shoto when you were grieving over a lover that was never yours- and apparently dying from it too.

“No, Im fine, really,” you said more calmly, trying to be reassuring, “lets, just- walk back, if thats okay-”

“Yes of course! Ill walk you to your room, just in case you get sick again-”

You two walked in silence again, you mulling over your broken heart as Uraraka watched you in worry. You two passed the ballroom, everyone seemingly enjoying themselves and not noticing you two as you lead the way to your room.

You stepped up to the door, your hand grasping the doorknob until you paused, a question entering your mind. You were still confused why Uraraka said she didnt know your marriage was arranged-you would have expected Shoto to have told his group after saying he was getting married.

Was he embarrassed by it, that he was marrying you?

“You said you were surprised to here our marriage was arranged,” you asked quietly, “Shoto never told you?”

Uraraka shuffled in her pink boots, her shoulder hunched close to her chin.

“He-uh-no,” she breathed out, “he said he made a promise to marry a girl he loved.”

-------------------

Morning.

Daylight.

Wedding.

You should be feeling happy, excited, optmistic-you had been imagining this day since you were a child. But now, all you could feel was a coldness you couldnt seem to shake off- after your talk with Uraraka last night, you felt so confused.

The person you “loved” had never loved you, leaving you sick and hurt.

The person who did love you, you most likely pushed away to the point where they didnt love you anymore.

You couldnt even understand your emotions yourself. All night your sickness wouldnt leave your poor lungs alone, making you cough uncontrollably all night, the petals piling up around you.

You wouldn't allow anyone to see you in the morning, snatching your wedding dress from your hand maidens and putting in yourself. You fixed yourself up, trying to make yourself look as lively as possible, but it seemed impossible- you felt too empty inside to really put your heart into it.

Another round of coughs attacked your chest, a single petal dribbling out of your mouth, along with a speckle of blood. It dripped on the inner folds of your creamy white dress- easily disguisable if you made sure it was covered- yet it made you begin to cry.

What was going on? Why did you have to do this? Why were you still sick?

Your knees hit the cold floor, wave after wave of tears and coughs struck your body in a terrible symphony, the petals piling up on your dress.

You couldnt take it anymore- this sickness was going to have to take you, because you had no energy left to fight it anymore.

You felt a knocking on your door, the sounds harsh against your temple. You sniffled, one last cough feebily spilling out of your bloodied lips.

“Go away-I promise Ill be out soon-” you began sadly, until you heard the door swing open.

You looked up, your face in shock as you did not lock eyes with your handmaiden, but with Shoto’s.

He looked around the floor, noticing the bloody petals, his face completely torn-he knew what was going on.

Shoto stared down at you, his eyes boaring into yours-he knew something was wrong with you. He had came by your room in hopes of fixing your relationship before speaking your vows, working up the courage until he heard you crying. No matter what was between you two, he wouldnt let you go through pain by yourself.

Now he watching you cough up your life, those sickly petals flowing out of you, each one taking a toll on your body.

He gasped out your name, the words like honey as he sat next to you on the floor. You looked so beautiful in that white gown, like an angel from heaven.

But the paleness of your skin, the bags like bruises under your eyes, the blood on your lips- it all reminded him that you were human, and you were hurting inside. He reached for your hand, his fingers grazing your skin-so cold- but you pulled it away quickly.

“Please, dont Shoto-” you whispered hoarsely, “Im-”

Another wave of coughs wracked at your chest, this time the rasps painful against your chest as the vines squeezed.

Shoto didnt know what to do- how could he help you? There wasn't anything he could do to help, except watch his best friend and love slowly cough her life away. A few petals cascaded out of your mouth, adding to the piles as you heaved air back into your lungs, your knuckles white.

“How, how could you keep this from me?” he asked sadly, ignoring your pleas and pulling you into his lap.

You felt how warm he was, and realized- he did love you. He had been there for you as a child, and he was here for you now, comforting you in your worst moment.

Your heart felt like it was exploding as tears cascading down your face, salty and warm against your skin.

“How-how could I Shoto?” I shuldnt have been so mean to you,” you sobbed, “Im so sorry, so sorry, this is all my fault-”

“Please, no, dont be sorry,” he said softly, his arms cradling your body, “we both have our own faults. I shouldnt have left you for so long, and Im sorry for that, I-” he gulped, his heart beating harshly against his chest.

“I-I do love you,y/n, I do.”

You picked up your head, forcing yourself to look at him- he was so handsome, his mix matched eyes softly looking down at you- he was still the little boy you knew from a child, though, always so calm and sweet.

“I know, Shoto, I just, I-” you gulped, fighting to keep the coughs and sobs at bay.

He sighed, feeling his heart sink.

“You loved Bakugo, didnt you? Thats why,” he motioned to the petals, “this is happening to you.”

You gave him a shocked look, your eyes wide and glassy. You forgot how observant Shoto could be- you felt your cheeks grow red, realizing now he must have known by the way you stared so much at Bakugo.

“Was-it that noticebale?”

“Y/n,” he sighed, his chest feeling heavy, ��very.”

You giggled at his remark, feeling strange for laughing for once. But Shoto was so abrupt with his words, it always made you laugh at his remarks.

Shoto’s heart soared at your laugh, the sound like chimes against his ears. It died down, the room quickly feeling closed in again.

“I just dont want to do this. I-I want to be friends again. To figure out who were are, without us being forced to be with each other.” you sighed, your heart rattling against your chest. “ I-I want to be with you and marry you- when we decide. Not my father, or your father- I want to be free to choose.”

You turned to Shoto, your hands touching his cheek.

“I-I did love you-and I still do-Im just so confused, and trapped, and-”

“You just want to be your own person,” he finished your sentence, his voice so much stronger than yours.

He looked down at you, his face surprisingly smiling.

“I think I may have arranged that,”

You jumped up, your face in shock. “H-how? Tell me!” you squealed, not unilke a child, your eyes wide with anticipation.

Shoto grinned at your face, loving how excited you could get so quickly.

“Do you remember my oldest brother?” he asked

“Of course I remember Natsuo! He was always so kind to me as a child,” you reminenscenced, “but how is he going to help us?”

“Well, as it turns out, I spoke to our fathers and my older brother,” he said, a small grin on his face, “they agreed that my brother could rule both kingdoms in my place. By himself, and my sister will accompany him if he ever needs help.”

You sucked in a lung full of air, unable to believe what you had just heard-

“So that means-”

“We are free to do what we want now.”

You yelled in happiness, happy tears cascading on your face as you wrapped his body around yours, “thank yous” spilling out of your lips.

Shoto hugged you back, smiling sadly- he had to admit, it was hard negotiating that new deal. After the night, that remark of how you didnt feel “free” stayed in his brain, haunting him until he found a solution. Knowing it would make you happy made it worth it- even if that meant you could leave him now. He loved you, but if that meant you could be happy with or without him, he would be content with the knowledge that you were finally able to be your own person.

“You can now be yourself,” he said sadly, his eyes staring down at the floor, “and even if that means you do not love me, I accept it. You dont have to feel guilty.”

You looked at the poor boy, his eyes shaded as his bi-colored locks cascaded onto his foreheads. You felt a warmth fill your chest, the sensation soothing and calming as the tightness in your lungs dissappeared. The tickling in your throat seemed to wane slightly. Your hand found his as his eyes instantly rose to meet yours.

“I wont feel guilty,” you smiled gently, “I want to be free- with you.”

Taggings: (if you want to be added, just shoot me an ask or a reply on this post and Ill add you on to my future fics!)

@freckledoriya @orokayagi @leeeah-loooser

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnhabookclub #bnha au #bnha fantasy au #todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #todorki x reader #mha todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #shoto #mha shoto x reader #mha shoto todoroki #bnha prince shoto x reader #prince shoto x reader #prince shoto x you #prince shoto x y/n

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taliaquinn · 4 years ago

Text

Why Me!? Chapter 16

A/N: Hey peeps, I hope you guys enjoy today's update. I hope you guys like the fact that I uploaded so soon. Also I have a lot of oneshot ideas however the tricky part is actually WRITING. Who knew am I right?

“Kaalki quick open a portal to that old alley, It’s better to transform there, Tikki you can finish Game of Thrones later” Marinette ordered a previously napping Kaalki, while pulling out a miffed Tikki from her mini-room in the closet. Tikki was almost done with the first season of Game Of Throne. The only reason it was taking so long was mostly that she had to watch it whenever Marinette wasn’t around due to uh reasons.

“Priorities much?” Marinette teased, quickly making a fake sleeping Marinette on her bed in case someone checked on her.

She quickly leaped through the portal, after appearing in some Paris alley she quickly ducked behind the dumpster and transformed into Ladybug, and made her way to the Attack.

To no one's surprise she was facing off with Lady Wifi again. Except for this time she was busy tracking down her ex-boyfriend Nino who had broken up with her over text. Ouch. Good for him regardless. The darker part of Marinette was pleased. He came to his senses. Finally.

Unfortunately for her Lady Wifi was pissed, which made taking her down harder. She had to leave to recharge, Chat showed up during the last few moments but still proved himself useless by getting frozen by Lady-wifi somehow. Luckily Ladybug was sadly used to this and left him frozen.

Quickly ducking to the side she delivered a blow to Alyas' side. Throwing her yo-yo she managed to tangle Lady Wifis legs, causing her to drop her phone. Ladybug quickly scooped it up to destroy. Seriously, what was it with this girl and her obsession with phones?

Purifying the Akuma, she used the Miraculous Ladybug to instantly repair all the damage. Releasing a heavy sigh she turned to face her ex-best friend. To her disgust she was facing a pouting Alya and a smiling Chat.

The instant that Alya saw Ladybug she immediately stood up and ran towards her,

“Oh my gosh Ladybug thank you for saving me, I don't know what Nino was thinking breaking up with me like that, he KNOWS how mad I get” she said huffing out a laugh.

Oh. my. god. She was trying to make it seem like Nino was at fault! Marinette was furious. She was acting just like Chat!!! Marinette is going to need so much therapy after all of this is done.

“Alya, you need to apologize to Nino,” she finally told her. “and afterward leave him alone, you have to respect his decision and space.” She added. They might not be friends anymore but that didn’t mean that Marinette didn't care about Nino.

“L-L-Ladybug, you don’t get it, he broke up with me for no good reas-”

“It was a good enough reason that he felt the need to do it through a text” gesturing towards Nino's home she added “and as it turns out he was right to do so”

Alya huffed, “You just don't understand Ladybug”. She moved away from her and took out her phone to begin live streaming.

She made her way towards Chat noir who was standing on the side watching the whole exchange a bit nervous. “Chat Noir, Are you aware of a certain girl named Marinette who got caught on camera criticizing you, when she had no right to mind you, about your most recent actions?. Do you have anything to say in response to it?” She asked pointing her phone camera in his direction.

Chat Noir immediately leaped at the chance to defend himself.

“W-well like you said she had no right, what could she know about the struggles of being a superhero, heck I even had to save her a couple of times and that’s how she thanks me?’ He mentioned facing Alyas' camera. “Honestly I think she’s just jealous and mine and m��lady's partnership, but what can you do am I right?” he teased.

“What partnership chat?” Ladybug cut in. No way was she letting rumors spread when she was standing right there.

“M'lady's just jealous as well,” Chat said with a wink

“Oh for Pete's sake” Ladybug pulled Chat away from Alyas prying eyes (and cellphone) and yo-yo away without a goodbye to the blogger.

A few rooftops away she finally plopped down and released Chat none too gracefully. The look on Chat noirs face wasn’t the charming one he was displaying for Alya and her Camera, he had the nerve to look annoyed.

“What was that?” He spit out

“What was what hmmm?” Oh she was annoyed now too.

“Al-that Cesaire girl has been your biggest supporter since Day One. You just don’t know what's going on with that Cesaire girl”

“I do, her boyfriend broke up with her because he was involved in an extremely toxic relationship” She stated, “I have to make sure she understands that, she’s trying to shift the blame!!!”

“And what was that about our partnership, you sounded like you agreed with that Dupain-Cheng girl” He complained annoyed “That's cause I do”

“WHAT!?”

“You said it yourself Marinette could never understand the pressure cause she’s not a superhero, I on the other hand AM,” Not to mention they were one and the same but he didn't have to know that, “frankly you’ve been lacking in the superhero department if I can show up for every Akuma battle why can't you?”

“Because I have a life unlike you”

“Pfftt I am an independent business owner who still manages to be a stellar student AND I manage to handle Akuma attacks alone more often than not, what about you?”

“What does that matter? Marinette's gotten to you hasn’t she? You know she's been sent away for assaulting a classmate?”

“That's weird from what she told me she quit” she shouted “really chat you should leave the manipulating to Rossi and Cesaire”

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK, I DONT MANIPULATE” He screamed at her. Why was it that everyone was turning against him lately?

“You’re right, you only do that after you try everything else to make yourself seem good” Ladybug finished staring back at Chat noirs infuriated green eyes, His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked the angriest he ever had.

Staring at him Marinette came to a realization, she took a few step backs “We’ll talk later” She jumped off the roof and started making her way to a specific location.

Batcave Wayne Manor, USA 12:30 pm

“Master Dick I must ask you to please refrain from breaking your ribs in the future” Alfred sighed, Luckily Batman was able to arrive in time to stop Nightwing from getting kidnapped or worse. Red Hood quickly arrived and hauled an unconscious Nightwing to the Cave.

Batman, Red Robin, and Robin were currently spread around Gotham and Bludhaven trying to track down any stragglers.

“Sorry Alfie, I’m way too cute for the criminals to stay away” Dick mumbled sleepily

“-humph- Regardless No patrolling for 6 weeks,”

“You hurt me, I hope you know that Alf” He joked. Eh, they were all fast healers, he’ll probably be back on patrol in 4 weeks.

“Heya Alfred, Now that Dick is alright I am going to head back out” Jason said adjusting his gloves and strapping his knives in place.

“Before you leave Master Jason please pickup the Tupperware filled with food I have left for you in the kitchen, And please escort Master Dick to his room for rest” Alfred knew good and well that his charges love not listening to doctors, er butlers, orders.

“Thanks, Alf, Comere Dickwad” Helping Dick up from the cot “but I don’t want to,” Dick whined. “Tough luck”

Making there way throughout the manor, Dick suddenly stopped “Marinette's room is right there, lemme check on her”

Jesus sometimes Dick can be more of a mother hen than Bruce “Come on Dickface, It's almost 1 am any sane person will be asleep by now” he said tiredly but a part of him wanted to check up on her too. Curse these big brother instincts. “Fine only a peek”

Once they stumbled to the front of Marinette's room, Jason gently cracked open the door seeing Marinette sleeping he moved aside to allow Dick to take a peak. To Jason's shock Dick unwrapped his arm from His shoulder and pushed open the door, stumbling to Marinette's Bed. Quickly pulling off the sheets he revealed a bundle of pillows under the blanket.

Marinette wasn’t in her bed.

“Crap”

I just Love cliffhangers, don’t you guys love them as well? I am asking that you guys please message me any prompts you would like for me to write for my one-shot series. Else I’m just going to keep making sad angsty one-shots. Stay Safe and Healthy guys <3.

Feel free to reblog,like and comment :)

Taglist:

@maribat-is-lifeblood @kass-is-weird @another-fan-of-anotherplan @damianette-is-life @amayakans @parallelparabox @miukiiu @valeks-princess @toodaloo-kangaroo @vixen-uchiha @thezestywalru @dreamykitty25 @pirats-pizzacanninibles @mochinek0 @shamefullove @mochegato @souleateralicestein @thestressmademedoit @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @aestheticnpoetic @mysupporthyperfixations @itsmeevie01

#miraculous ladybug #mlb au #maribat #batfam #marinette deserves better #damian wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #bruce wayne #class salt

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randomsevans · 4 years ago

Text

is it all fake part 5

your pov

You had burst at out bed at the sound of someone banging at your bedroom door

“your late for work !” your best friend Katie , and housemate when she is around shouted

“shit !” you muttered under your breath “THANKS IM UP NOW !” you shout back at her

its really not like you to sleep in , usual your the one waking Katie up ,In fairness you did stay up last night working on your paper , but still you couldn't afford to be late to work ,

which to be honestly you probably wouldn't be since its right down stairs , it just happens that your boss Sassie is also your landlord , but anyway .

you leaped at of bed and grabbed your bush form the night stand and began to brush your hair .You didnt know the time , but you know you dont have time to wash your hair , or even have a shower so you decided to quickly pull your hair in a low pony tail , as you began to get up and walk towards your pile of clothes ,

you pulled the bobble around your hair as our grabbed a lose fitting dark shaded dress at hugged you centre and gave the isolation of and hourglass figure . Not that you dont have one , it was just flattering that’s all . as you quickly left your room , and ran towards the bathroom

“who says you cant muiliti- task “you thought to your self as you threw your dress on the floor , and began to brush your teeth , you began to feel uneasy as you were moving so fast , on auto pilot and your brain wasn't fully awake yet , as well as not being able to do your normal routine ,

Routine was key for you, you would become over whelmed and slightly anxious if you wasn't able to do what you normal do , fair to say , you hate changes

your brain was slowly waking up , as you applied mascara with a shaky hand

“mascara that enough make up for today !”

you got ready and shot out the bathroom fully dressed seeing Katie in the tiny open kitchen behind the sofa , she was curently eating some toast while in the other hand she held your phone and ear phones

you quickly went to her and grabbed your thing from her “thank you !” you sighed , unlocking your phone making your way to the front door , and pulging your earphones in

“have a good day “ katie said as you pulled open the door , pressing play on “twenty one pilots chlorine “

you took a deep breath your mind and body instantly relaxing , you dont know what it is but you cant started your day with out music , you have shitty , stressful day if you dont , you was always like this , earphones in , it keep you safe you was like this ever since you can remeber , you music full volume blocking out the constant shouting that was always there in your house growing up . And you were just happy that Katie understood you weird behaviour and habits , and the reason behind them .

you really couldnt wish for a better bestfriedn , you to lived toegather since yoj were 17 you both wanted to leave your home , and you fely mature enough . Itwas something you both wanted do , and saved up for . it wasnt untill you needed to leave for uni , you became worried , you didnt want leave Katie , she your support , your other half , you turly believ she is your soulmate in friendship form . And leaving in London was somthing you both wanted to do more then live with eacother , ever since you both took a school trip toegather when you were 13 .

“hopefully “ you began humming out the beat to the song

“well it will be if that stranger comes back “ she chucled shouting over your music as you began you make your way down the stares away from your flat .

“yeah , yeh 2 you sight , shrugging her off as you made your way at the bottom opening another door and steppping out into the city you love

you quikly changed the song to “my blood “ and began to quicly whisper along with it

“when everone , you thought your knew “

you contuned to sing as you took a couple of stepps and turned around and opend a door to coffee time ,

you enetered shaking your head slight side to side , singing to your self when you notice you boss sassie raise her eyebrow to your from arcoss the countor , the cafe was mostly emtpy apart from the early morinng regulars , you walked passed them and pointed to sassie dramaticaly

“stay with me ! no you dont need to run , stay with my blood “ you sang , cuasing a chuckle from your boss , trying your best to avoid the obousle you being late

you placed what little you had behind the counte , and ppulled one earphone out , and turned down the volume slighltly , you wasnt going tos top your music , you needed at least 3o mintues of songs to start your day ,

you turned and began to check the machines as you always do , when you began a shift , Sassie walked past you shakngher head , with a small smile

“yes ! no shouting at today 2 you thought , cauing a small smile to play on your lips . Missing the deep chuckle from the frount of the counter , you wipped your head around with you smile growing , and prepared to say

“what can i ge...” you stopped as your eyes grew at sight of the hansome stranger form the other day .

youd be lying if you said you hadnt been thinking about the american stanger , its not that hes not from around her , becuase he isnt the only america that you came across in your life . It was that he was drop dead gorgeous and funny from the little talk you to had . Those blue eyes stayed in your mind for the last tow days .It wasnt just that , he looked really familair and it was bugging you , but you just shrugged it off belive you have probably servied him before , but then again you would remeber that .

You instaly regret sleeping in and not being able to have a shower and get ready properly

“that was quite the little performance there “ he chuckled

“oh you seen that ?” you grew embarrest you dont know why , it never does before “just to meke the boss giggle “

“so i dont fire her ass for being late “ sassie shouted yur the floor above

causing the mystiuou man, burst into laughs

“yeah i may have ran a bit late , sleep in “ you tuned your head towards Sassie and pointed upwards “but you love my sing so .. “

“not when its twnety one shit heads “

you dramactical look down as you put your hand over your head and wiped away fake tears “ im truly hurt “

the deep laugh once again echo throughout the nearly empty cafe , making your cheeks readen , you forget he was standing there for a minute ,You cleared your throat and looked up to met those bright blue eyes

you took a step forward and placed your hands on the counter “so what can i get for you American “

his laughter died down , as he raised an eyebrow .

“the devil jusice please “ he slighly chuckled , and you nodded , an over wave of exitement over the fact he remeber what yo called your order .

you tunred around and began to make his drink , and you first one of the day , when he spoke up ,

“American ? really “ he asked , playfully

you shrugged facing away from him

“well what else iam ment to call you i dont know your name “

he was silent for a moment

“you dont ?” he askd shooked , you turned around giggling in confusstion as you held his coffee in your hand

“ why would i know it ?”

you thought as you shake your head , answering his question

“oh umm well “ he seemed to grew nervous placing his hand into his pockets staing at the floor .

“umm im chris “

Your eyes grew and month gasped , as the coffee dropped out of your hands, when your brain finaly ! woke up .

Tag list @patzammit @denisemarieangelina @little-smurf @harrysthiccthighss @captainchrisstan @stupendousfirebouquetbwft @frencchfries @rororo06

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #captain america #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans au #chris #chris x you #chris x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you

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janaeekook · 4 years ago

Text

Allure || {jjk} (m)

“and i dont get the fascination or the allure with you, jungkook. To me you’re just another haphazard playboy that wants to get in my pants.”

pairing: playboy!jungkook x reader

word count: 4.8k

warnings: - smut - unprotected sex -

••✦♡︎✦••

The hallways were crowded and everyone around you jittery. It was spring break, the final bell had signaled it.

“Y/n!” Your best friends voice ringing through your ears, turning to see Yoonah running towards you. “So are you ready to get wild the spring break?” She asked as she reached your side.

“Definitely.” Sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

“Oh come on don’t be such a prude.” Yoonah linked your arms as you walked to the after school hangout.

You guessed You were a prude. You hated parties and thought they were insanely stupid. You still remained a virgin even though it’s your last year of high school which you were for the most part proud of. You also thought drinking was stupid, everyone at those parties you hated were always shit faced and couldn’t tell left from right. What was the point? You just feel like shit the next morning. There was a lot you didn’t understand about the partiers at your high school that’s why you never enjoyed their presence. The guys were just looking for sex and the girls were just looking to get fucked, you thought is was disgusting and desperate.

As though there was some higher power at work, you and Yoonah walked into the dinner down the road from your school which served as the typical hangout. And of course there sat the typical partiers our the ‘popular’ kids, they annoyed you the most. You walked right past them without a second glance, Yoonah in tow.

The two of you sat at your typical booth and you pulled out your notebook to start studying before Yoonah stopped you.

“Nuh-uh, Nope, you are not studying the entire break.” She quickly snatched your notebook shoving it in her own bag.

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

“Anything but study.” You groaned.

“So, what do you want to take about?” You looked to her but her eyes went past you, you furrowed your brows. “Yoonah what is it?”

She finally looked back to you her cheeks tinged pink, “Act Natural.” She whispered and before you could question her further you felt someone slide in next to you.

“Hey, y/n.” Your eyes instantly rolling at the sound of the voice, you could feel the smirk and his eyes glued to you.

“What do you want Jungkook?” You looked to him annoyance laced in your voice. This only caused the proclaimed trouble-maker to smirk more.

“Party, tonight, my house, you and Yoonah should come princess.”

“Why the hell woul-“

“She’d love to!” Yoonah cut you off and you gave her a look.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Oh come on princess it’ll be fun.” Jungkook then rested a hand on your thigh which you quickly brushed off.

“Hands off pervert.”

“Y/n, is Jungkook causing you trouble?” You looked to see Chan and his posy standing at your table in their fancy school uniforms.

“I’m fine Chan.”

“You heard her Chan, she’s fine.” Jungkook shot at him, they both glared at eachother. Chan eyes eventually looked back to yours and he smiled.

“Call me tonight.” He winked to you then walked away, the other eight boys following him. Chan went to Mountainridge Prep a prestigious private school in the area. Everyone that went there were self-serving pricks they were even worse then the kids at your school.

“Well,” Jungkook clapped his hands together before standing, “I’ll see you are my place, 10 o’clock.” He stalked off back to his group.

Jungkook has been trying to wiggle his way into your pants ever since freshman year when you rejected him. Jungkook never gets rejected, and to say the least you hurt his pride and damaged that pretty ego of his. Sure he was hot, but you knew he was just a playboy.

“You’re crazy.” Yoonah spoke once jungkook was gone, “He’s been pining after you for four year’s I don’t get how you say no.” You shrugged.

“He’s just looking for another notch on his belt, and I’m not interested in being played.”

“Well you’ve got a strong will, because if he asked me, I’d let him destroy me.” You threw a butter packet at her to get her to stop day dreaming, “I’m just being honest.”

••✦♡︎✦••

“Alright let’s see what you’ve got.” Yoonah said before flopping on your bed, you groaned.

“You’re not really gonna make me go are you?” You were unenthusiastic about it all but Yoonah was clearly excited.

“Yup! No show me your clothes.” She insisted and you opened your wardrobe. She stood again walking over and shuffling through your clothes. She pulled out something you couldn’t see, she whipped around showing a black body con dress that always stayed in the back of your wardrobe collecting dust.

“No, I am not wearing that out of the house!”

“You’ll look hot, plus this is all you have.” She said before handing you the hanger. You went to the bathroom, putting it on.

The dress hugged your bust and your hips perfectly. It was a large contrast to the baggy school clothes you wore everyday. You had to admit that you looked good. You stepped out and Yoonah gasped.

“You’re a goddess!” You chuckled at her reaction, “Now put your normal clothes back on and we’ll head to my house.”

“Ya ya, ok.” You grabbed a large Tee-shirt and some shorts then went back into the bathroom changing and putting the dress back on the hanger. You headed down the steps and grabbed your car keys.

“I’m sleeping over at Yoonah’s!” You shouted as you left the house. Not that anyone was listening.

••✦♡︎✦••

Yoonah had finished your makeup, it was 10:20 pm. You had gotten a little distracted playing Mario kart for 3 hours before actually starting to get ready. According to Yoonah though no one shows up on time so you were fine.

You drove to the address that jungkook had texted you. How he got your number you didn’t know. You parked down the street and Yoonah and you got out walking towards the sound of muffled music.

“Let’s get our party on!” She danced as she walked and you laughed at her. You walked up the long walk way to the large house infront of us, and walked in. The pungent smell of sweaty bodies and liquor filling your senses. You scrunched my nose in disgust, giving disapproving looks to the people dancing and being all over eachother. Hormonal teenagers just wanting to get off with anyone who was willing.

You looked towards the last direction you saw Yoonah but she wasn’t there. Great. You called her name but you couldn’t even hear yourself over the crowd which in itself was suffocating. This being your first high school party you were not impressed. It was a cesspool, but you had to find Yoonah.

You couldn’t find her anywhere down stairs so You ventured up the steps. Damn, the halls seemed never ending on the second floor, though they were a lot quieter. You let out a groan and kicked the nearest wall.

“What’d my house ever do to you?” You froze upon hearing his voice, turning to face him. His face held a smile and his eyes looked playful. The silk dress shirt he wore was unbuttoned at the top revealing his prominent collar bones.

“I was looking for Yoonah, have you seen her?” You asked dryly, he just shook his head so You turned to head back down stairs seeing as he was no help.

“Wait,” His voice sounded almost desperate, “Why do you hate me so much?” He was clearly interested in knowing, so you spun around.

“Because you’re an arrogant prick.” You spoke with a fake smile.

“You don’t even know me y/n.” He seemed hurt by your harsh statement.

“Don’t have to.” You shrugged.

“I just don’t get you.”

“And I don’t get the fascination or the allure with you, Jungkook. To me you’re just another haphazard playboy that wants to get in my pants.”

“Who said I wanted to get in your pants?” He questioned.

“The way you act towards me says it all.”

“You really don’t know me at all y/n.” He seemed off and distant. Had something happened? Why do You care?

“Your reputation says a lot about you.” You pointed out.

“Not that I’m proud of it.”

“Are you really getting emotional with me?” You raised an eyebrow at him. He let out a long sigh.

“I just have no one to talk to about this shit.” He took a sip from the beer bottle in his hand.

“You’re drunk, Jungkook”

“Just letting go.” He sat on the ground leaning his back against the wall to your right.

“Jeez do you always get this depressed when you drink?” You asked him, he simply shrugged taking another sip of the alcoholic beverage. You stared at the boy before you, his barrier walls all down thanks to the alcohol. Unconsciously you found yourself sitting across from him which peaked his interest, “Shouldn’t you be down there partying?”

“What’s the point? It’s stupid anyways.” You were taken aback, Maybe you and Jungkook had more in common than you thought. You hummed.

“Why do you sleep around?” It was a question you’d been asking yourself for awhile now.

“It’s easier than being vulnerable.” He took another sip, “You just move on and you don’t get hurt. But it’s mainly because I’m waiting.”

It almost broke your heart to here him say something like that. He was just afraid of being hurt by others, that you could understand. You had been silently judging him all these years but in reality it was just his way of coping with life. He suddenly held out the beer bottle to you.

“Oh I-I don’t drink.” He gave you a weird look before shrugging.

“Suit yourself.” He downed another gulp. You studied his face as he played with the bottle.

“I like you better when you’re drunk.” You chuckled.

“Then I guess you’ll have to get me drunk more often.”

“I guess.” You said with a smile, looking to your hands folded in your lap. There was a brief moment of silence before Jungkook spoke again.

“You look beautiful tonight.” You cursed yourself for blushing at his comment.

“Thanks.” You met eyes with him, he set down the bottle on the wooden floor next to him before leaning forward with his hand out. He cupped your left cheek with his right hand, his fingers resting on your neck. The world stopped, time stopped as you felt a sudden urge. Jungkook leaned in connecting his lips to yours, a moment you will not soon forget you felt your heart beat a little faster as he kissed you. He pulled away and his face looked almost confused with his brows furrowed.

The sheer reality of what just happened set in your mind, you just kissed Jeon Jungkook. You just kissed Jeon Jungkook willingly, and you enjoyed it. It scared you, you didn’t want to feel that spark. You quickly stood.

“Uh, Um, I should go.” You cheeks were a deep shade of red which did not go unnoticed by Jungkook. You were just as flustered as he was.

You hurried back down the hall and proceeded down the stairs you quickly found Yoonah, she sat on the kitchen counter with the alcohol. She wouldn’t stop giggling and talking rather loudly, about a cute boy she met yet couldn’t recall his name, as you dragged her drunk ass back to your car and headed home.

The car ride was quiet, Yoonah had passed out and you were left to think about Jungkook. The sweet yet bitter taste of his lips from the alcohol, drilled into your brain. You hated it but after that small intoxicating taste, you wanted more.

••✦♡︎✦••

5 days later;

You were avoiding his texts, you didn’t know what to say. You tried keeping him from your mind be occupying your time with work and random tasks. Today you had work and even better a solo shift which was a breath of relief, you worked at the library and that’s somewhere you would never find him.

When you stepped outside to walk to work you noticed that the sky had become a dark grey and the wind blew wildly, sweeping your hair into twists. You pulled your jean jacket tighter around your body. So much for spring break. On your arrival you were welcomed with the warmth, you placed your things in the back, and went to find your boss. She sat at the front counter checking books.

“Mrs.Kim, I’m here.” Keeping your voice in a low register as to not disturb people who were studying.

“Oh good! I hope you won’t have any trouble locking up.”

“Nope, you have nothing to worry about.” You gave her a bright smile. It was 2 o’clock and the library closed at 4 but you always stayed to organize the books. The older lady gave you a Key which you gladly excepted, and you began to help check the books because she insisted she’d finish before leaving.

After 2 hours of checking books and helping people find ones they needed, it was finally closing time. You stood from your seat at the front desk and stretched a bit. You then hooked up your phone to the speaker system playing some light instrumental music.

You rolled the cart around putting books back in their place and fixing any that were out of place. You did this till your little cart was empty, and you went back to the front desk to retrieve more. When the door opened you didn’t look up from the books.

“We’re closed.” You stated

“Sorry I didn’t really know the hours.” Jungkook. You timidly looked to him. He wore a leather jacket and black jeans his hair was wind blown. You swallowed hard.

“It closes at 4, it’s 4:30.”

“Well I didn’t come for the books, I wanted to talk and you’ve clearly been avoiding me.” You ignored him and turned pushing another cart to the elevator, “Yoonah told me you were working today.” You sighed as he came up right next to you. The elevator doors opened and you stepped inside followed by Jungkook, “Can you please talk to me?”

“Do you usually get this stalkerish with your other girls.” You blurted out. That seemed to shut him up.

“No.” He answered truthfully and you snapped your head in his direction.

“Oh ya? And what makes me so different? That I’m not easy?”

“I don’t know.” His voice seemed weak, luckily the elevator doors opened and you pushed the cart out beginning the same task as the lower level going shelf to shelf placing, and organizing new and aged books. Him standing within five feet of you made your heart race as your mind wandered to the kiss the two of you shared.

“The kiss, that’s what you wanted to talk about. Right?” You finally broke the silence between you.

“You felt it too.” You swallowed hard at his words.

“Felt what?” Trying to play it off as you pushed the cart to a different row. But of course you felt it. You couldn’t get it out of your head.

“I saw your face y/n.” His voice was soft, a meer whisper no louder than breath. You rested your hands on the cart as your mind whirled. The reason you had been avoiding Jungkook was because that feeling scared you, you didn’t want to get hurt again. You finally looked up to his eyes which were trying to read you.

“Jungkook.” His named spilled out your mouth in a breathy whisper. And before you knew what was happening, his lips were on yours, his hands on your hips pulling you closer and yours tangled themselves in his hair your lips moving in sync. You both finally pulled away allowing your lungs to breathe.

“Come over.” Jungkook blurted out. You chuckled at his behavior. This Jungkook was nothing like what you saw at school, and you liked this side of him, which scared the shit out of you. A part of you was screaming at you to say no, saying not to get caught in your feelings. But you didn’t listen.

“I’d love to.”

You locked up the library and you walked with Jungkook down the street. The sky was still a threatening shade of grey looming above your heads. You walked in silence, but not an uncomfortable one, it was as if your presence for eachother was enough.

“So y/n tell me about yourself.” Jungkook had broken the silence. You shrugged.

“There’s nothing much to know.”

“Oh come on, everyone has a story to tell.” He smiled nudging you with his elbow.

“Is there something you want to know?” He went quiet after your question as he thought.

“I’ve always wondered why you turn down guys.”

“I don’t trust them.” You looked to the ground as you walked, “Especially not with my heart.”

All of a sudden rain started to fall, it was pouring. Jungkook started laughing before he grabbed your hand and started running, your clothes and hair were drenched within minutes.

You both stepped through the threshold of his house relieved to be out of the rain. It got quiet except for the howling of the wind outside, I shivered crossing my arms over my body. Jungkook chuckled and headed towards the stairs. You just watched him seeing how his wet tee-shirt clung to his body, he had taken of his jacket which he now carried. He turned to look at you and gave you a cute little smile.

“Come on.” He waved you over and you did willing your feet to move as you followed him up the grand steps. His house was huge but depressingly quiet, it reminded you of your own home and You frowned. You and Jungkook had more in common than you were willing to admit.

At the top of the steps he took the hall that went to the left. He led you to the door at the end, opening it. Revealing a large bedroom which you presumed was his. He went to his walk-in closet and emerged not long after with some clothes. He handed you a sweatshirt and a pair of his boxers.

“You can change in the bathroom right over there.” You smiled and thanked him.

The sweatshirt was large on you, reaching to your mid thigh and your hands disappeared in the sleeves. You walked out to see Jungkook laying on his bed scrolling through his phone, he now wore grey sweatpants and a new black tee-shirt. You crawled onto the bed next to him and he smiled that cute bunny smile at you. Your heart fluttered, and your face grew red.

“So how many girls have you had in this bed.” You jokingly asked, you sat facing his laying form.

“None. You’re the first girl I’ve had over.” He smiled again his hand rubbing your thigh. Your instincts told you to run, as you got deja vu from what he once told you all those years ago. But you just smiled, “You want to watch a movie?”

I thought he just wanted sex- You thought to yourself. You nodded despite your thoughts and laid next to him, cuddling his chest as he wrapped his arm around your body. He put on a movie you didn’t recognize. You kept stealing glances at him until he paused it about half way through and we met eyes. He raised an eyebrow at me.

“What?” You innocently asked.

“I put on a movie for us to enjoy, but you just keep looking at me.” He chuckled.

“Maybe I wanted to watch you instead.”

“You never fail to confuse me y/n.”

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

“Well, you say one thing then want the other, I just want to make you happy.”

You but your lip and crawled onto his lap, straddling his waist. His eyes grew more confused but you could tell he wasn’t opposed to this position. Your face was bright red, your body and part of your mind was were working against eachother. You leaned down and kissed him quickly before going back to your previous position of staring down at him. His brows furrowed and a smile graced his lips.

“I thought you wanted to stay a virgin.”

“I-“ you sighed you were beyond nervous for some reason, “I guess you changed my mind.” Though that small part of your brain that still screamed no, was quickly drowned out by the hormones coursing through your veins. His hand reached up to touch your cheek and you leaned into his touch.

“Are you sure?” I don’t know.

“Yes.”

And that simple form of consent was all he needed. Flipping you over and hovering over your trembling form. You were nervous, scared as the feelings you buried freshman year came bubbling back to the surface. Yes; you liked Jungkook, who wouldn’t? And to see this boy who was so notorious for being an asshole to so many girls be such a gentleman to you made you melt beneath him.

His hot kisses that feathered your lips moved to your neck the noises that spilled past your lips were foreign. He ravaged your neck leaving behind purple and red marks. His careful hands removing his clothes from your body. His heart picked up at the sight of your exposed body. You were pure, innocent, he could see it in your eyes, and he was going to show you everything as his head made its way between your thighs.

He wiped your innocence from the scene. You couldn’t believe what you were feeling, the sinful act that you had never before committed was intoxicating. It wasn’t awkward how you expected, somehow you felt completely comfortable with Jungkook as he brought you pure ecstasy.

He finally removed his own clothes and you saw his toned muscles on full display, you traced them with your finger tips. You met eyes with him as he hovered above you. His eyes filled with love and passion, not an ounce of lust, he loved you. Sure he’d done this before, but this time, it meant something. You had never seen anyone look at you that way, it pulled you in.

He was delicate, treating you like you were made of glass as he pushed into you. Your teeth gritted and as tears fell but he quickly kissed them from your rosie cheeks. The moans he elicited from your mouth, they were anything but pure, as he moved in and out slowly. Your mouth hung open at the sensation, he brought you to a new euphoria.

Doing something this intimate with Jungkook felt so natural and perfect, it felt like you had found what you had been looking for to fill that void that sat in your heart. Coming undone, under his control. Lost in his eyes, his euphoria, as you watched eachother reach your peak pleasure and letting go. It wasn’t sex, rather, making love. But you didn’t know the difference at the time.

Jungkook fell beside you breathing heavy, pulling you to his chest, kissing your temple.

His tired voice spoke.

“You know, I’ve liked you since freshman year.”

“Really? You had a weird way of showing it.” He buried his head in my neck and hummed.

“I hope you know now how much I love you.” His voice was quiet, muffled by my neck. He started breathing deeply after he spoke, he had fallen asleep, you were frozen. He loved me? You felt your stomach twist, shit.

You stared at the ceiling as what felt like hours passed by. Jungkook still clinging to you. When he finally loosened his grip it was 12 am all that could be heard was the ticking of a clock and Jungkook’s deep breaths. The rain had stopped and You had to get out of there, your anxiety increased each second as you laid in his bed naked. He just wants to hurt you. Your mind told you, you continued to come up with excuses in your head for why he said what he did.

As you carefully rolled off the bed to escape, silent tears fell. You grabbed his sweatshirt and threw it back on along with his boxers. You snuck out of his room and down the steps and out of the house all together. You were shaking as you walked down the side walk, you pulled your phone out and called Yoonah.

“𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙨 𝙪𝙥?“

“C-can I come over?”

“𝙊𝙛 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚, 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣?“

“I’ll explain when I get there.”

You hung up, and sped walked to Yoonah’s. When You were walking up the path to the door Yoonah opened the door. Upon seeing her face you broke down, and she ran to you, pulling you into a hug.

“What the hell happened, whose clothes are these?” Her questions persisting you to cry harder.

“J-jungkook.” You managed to utter his name. She pulled away to look at your face, she was confused how you were crying. You had told her about your crush on him freshman year. But she also knew about the one that ruined my trust in men. “H-he told me he loved me and I got scared.”

“Did you...” she looked to the sweatshirt and you knew what she was asking and you nodded looking to the ground, “Hey, you don’t need to be scared, Jungkook wouldn’t lie to you about that.”

“It feels so right but I’m just so scared.”

“Then tell him that.”

••✦♡︎✦••

You decided to spend the night at Yoonah’s again last night. It was now Friday morning and you decided it was time to head home. You put Jungkook’s sweatshirt on with a pair of shorts Yoonah let you borrow, and headed out the door after saying bye to Yoonah.

When you shut the door you turned only to see Jungkook standing on the sidewalk. You sighed and walked passed him in the direction of your house. Jungkook jogged catching up with you. He didn’t say anything though, just followed you, Yoonah must have told him you were finally heading home.

You reached you house, opening the door. You left it open for Jungkook to follow which he did, shutting it behind him. He gawked at the entrance way, two grand staircases leading up. You took the one on the left and went to the left once you got to the landing, Jungkook following close behind you. He was shocked knowing how similar your two life styles were, wealthy parents that were rarely home because of work.

You opened one of the double doors in the hall that went to your bedroom. You sat on the end of your canopy bed and looked at Jungkook, he had shut the door. His eyes finally met yours after looking over the room. Your heart clenched at the sad look on his face.

“You can talk.” You told him, he sighed.

“I woke up and you were gone. No text. No call. Nothing. Why?” It was your turn to sigh, you had to be honest with him.

“Someone hurt me, years ago, his name was Lucas. I loved him but he made it pretty clear that he didn’t feel the same, he cheated on me saying ‘At least she’d have sex with me’. I was so gullible I actually thought he cared, but he just wanted my body. You once asked me why I don’t trust guys, that’s why. I don’t want to get hurt again, Jungkook. And what you said scared the shit out of me, and when I get scared I run.” His eyes gave you a sad look.

“I’m nothing like that guy y/n. I meant every word I said.”

“Jungkook-“

“If you don’t feel the same It’s fine I’ll understand.” He looked to the ground.

“What? No, It’s not that I don’t love you, I do I really fucking do and it scares me.” Your words made him look back up to you.

“You do?”

“Since freshman year.” You confessed what you kept so deeply hidden, “I mean how could I not?” You chuckled. Jungkook then walked to you grabbing your face and kissing you. This time it felt different, now that the truth was in the air passion oozed from the kiss.

The void that stood empty in your heart filled within seconds. You knew this boy really loved you and you couldn’t be more relieved. And as he kissed you, pushing you back on the bed for the second time, you guessed you finally understood the allure of Jeon Jungkook.

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fanficsrusz · 5 years ago

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Better late than never - john wick oneshot

A/n: so this was requested by @queen-of-snowflakes and im not sure how i feel about it. Ive had to re-upload it again because the order was messed up so yhh sorry for any confusion

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Holding two handguns to her chest, y/n hid behind a cement wall. She tried to calm her heavy breathing in order to listen out for any movement beyond the wall. Hearing a noise come from her left, she moved to the right "bang" a deep voice said pointing a gun to her head. Y/n looked up annoyed and dropped her guns to her side. " you fail that every time" the man continued. The man in front of her was John wick aka baba yaga, a notorious assassin who had taken it upon himself to train y/n as his apprentice. Y/n wasn't just anyone though, she was the niece of Winston, the owner of the Continental. John had promised Winston to train her as well as he could so she could look after herself since no one was safe in the assassin world. Sure y/n and john had gone on various missions together and they worked pretty well alongside each other, but y/n always wanted to improve so every week they would train in the training room winston had built for her underneath the hotel.

"ok…. Lets go again" she said beginning to walk away before john grabbed her arm. "hold on y/n. I think we've done enough for one day" she looked back at john and into his eyes. She hated to admit it but she had feelings for this man. Well, if anyone spent the last few years with a hot guy then they were bound to end up falling in love. Y/n only stopped staring when john started to walk towards his gun bag "beside, your uncle has called a meeting for us which starts in……" he looked at his watch "45 minutes" he turned to y/n before walking out of the training room. "always with the meetings" y/n groaned to herself. She always hated the meetings because it meant he wanted to send john and herself on some elaborate mission and always ended up giving her a talk about keeping herself safe. It was as if she didn't kill people for a living and was about to go on a date with some random guy.

Y/n made her way to her room where she got changed into jeans and a shirt before making her way to the meeting room. Pushing open the doors her uncle came up to her and hugged her. "y/n. Beautiful as always" she smiled before kissing his cheek and sitting next to John, who was already there.

"ok so apparently Joon, a prince in korea, has broken continental rules and conducted business on safe grounds" he paushed as he walked around the room and y/n looked at john confused. "so? Just kill him. Why are you telling us? " she asked and winston just laughed. "well he's gone into hiding and we think we know where he might be…." he stopped again walking around the table and sat down in front of the two. "..... We think he might be attending a ball in russia. Its just some stupid annual thing that one of the politicians throw and Since joon has had no contact with either of you before, you can get close enough to take care of him" y/n laughed as she leant forward "Julie Andrews style or al pacino?" her smile soon dropped as the men just looked at her confused but she could see the small smirk on johns face "my humour is wasted on you people" she sulked and sat back again. "right. Well you will leave in a few days for russia and attend the ball under the identity of a newly married couple. You will be mrs Lisa Martins" he looked at y/n and then turned to john "and you mr Dean martins" he paused before standing up and y/n knew what was going to happen next. "you two have to be careful and not get yourself killed……" before he could continue, y/n interrupted him with a groan "yeah yeah we know. Right i dont know about you john but im going to get a drink" and with that y/n left the room. "she turns more and more into her mother with each day" winston laughed and john just watched as the girl walked away before standing "i should really go keep an eye on her" john said and winston waved him off.

Walking into the bar john saw y/n sitting at the bar with a few empty shot glasses around her. He laughed to himself before walking over to her. "how can you already be drunk" he asked and waved the bartender over ordering his own drink "shut it wick". A few hours later and y/n was no longer functioning properly, laughing at random jokes she told a still sober john. She suddenly stopped and stared at john intently for a few second let her mouth speak her thoughts. "I love you john" she said suddenly and john just laughed, "I love you too" he replied taking a sip of his drink and y/n stood up and walked over to him and straddled his lap "y/n what are you doing?" shock evident in his voice as he held his hands up to avoid any physical contact. "you don't understand john. I want you." she growled looking at him through hooded eyes and john pushed her off and onto the seat next to them. "y/n you're a child compared to me. I'm old enough to be your father. I don't see you like that im sorry" the words lingered in the air as she took them in and she suddenly felt sick. 'oh no. What have i done' she thought as she leaned over and puked before the alcohol consumed her completely causing her to pass out, john barely stopped her from hitting her head on the table. He picked her up and began to carry her to her room. Once in her room he placed her in bed and looked at her "what am i going to do with you" he said before walking away to his own room.

The morning sun lit up the room and y/n's head spun as she sat up in bed. She tried to remember the events of last night but could only remember a few things but it was all kind of blurry. But then it hit her like a wall. 'oh no no no no no' she buried her head into her hands and laid back down again as the memories of her confession came flooding back. And that's where she spent the next couple of days avoiding john at all costs, she couldn't face him. How on earth was she going to play a couple with him after what she had told him?.

The departure day soon arrived and y/n tried to make little to no eye contact with john as she could keeping silent all the way to russia and soon they were checking into their hotel room. As john opened the door to their shared room, a letter was on their bed explaining the details of the ball they would attend that night. 'arrive separately and dress to improve'. Y/n didn't even pay attention to the note and made her way to the bathroom to start getting ready and john left. He had spent enough time with her to know when she was in a bad mood, he would just ask for a separate room.

Y/n sat in a limo that winston arranged for her and she double checked she had all her weapons. Gun? Check. Knife? Check. Spare gun? Double check. She felt uncomfortable in the dress that winston also provided. It was a typical princess dress. It was a royal blue floor length ball gown that hugged her waist perfectly and her hair was in a simple updo. No one would ever suspect that someone so beautiful would be a killer.

She pulled up outside the venue and various women walked into the building. She sighed before getting out the car with the help of an employee who led her inside and told her to wait in a line with other women. She had no idea why she was there. "hey" she called to the women in front of her "why are we stood here?" the women turned and gave her a look of confusion "we always do this? You know one by one we walk down the staircase? It's kinda like a show for the men" she said it so calmly and turned away. 'great' she thought 'I'm being placed out on display for some chauvinistic pricks'. She closed her eyes and watched as the line got shorter and shorter and the closer she got, the more anxious she got. This would be the first time she would see john in almost a week and after the confession. Y/n shook her head and concentrated 'im here for a mission. Relax' and as soon as she relaxed her fake name was called. "Mrs Lisa Martin" she stepped out onto the long staircase and she instantly saw john at the bottom.

John looked up when he heard y/n's name called and practically choked on his own breath. She looked stunning. After what she said to him the other day he couldn't stop thinking about her, the time he had spent with her and how he had been in love with her from the second they met all those years ago, but he had learnt from experience that it was never a good idea for him to love someone. "hey man your wife is hot" a young man next to him pointed out and john ignored him walking forward to meet y/n at the bottom of the staircase.

"you look stunning" he whispered "yhh well you clean up nicely yourself" she faked a laugh. The normally relaxed air between the two felt awkward and y/n wished the earth would just swallow her whole at this point but she did have to admit that john looked extra good with his suit on and hair slicked back. "have you seen joon yet?" she asked trying to quickly change the conversation and he looped her arm with his in an attempt to look like they were in fact together as he began to walk around the hall. He nodded to a man in the corner. He was short and had hair that was covered in a hundred layers of gel. He also had two huge bodyguards standing next to him. As she looked up to him, he was already staring at her darkly. "seems like you've already captured his heart. Go and talk to him from what i heard he sleeps with any old harlot" john said and y/n looked shocked and wanted to hit him. The way he said it implied that she was worthless and it crushed her heart even more. Is that how he thought of her ?. Of course he didn't. He just wanted to get the mission over with and had chosen his words stupidly. " I'll meet you in the bedroom on the 3rd floor lure him up there" and john left. Before she could even think of a reply, his spot next to her was occupied by joon. "good evening mrs martin. You look beautiful" he growled looking at her up and down and she had to stop herself gagging at his action. "thank you. You also look….. Handsome" she struggled on the last bit but he smirked.

After an hour or so of none stop flirting, y/n was ready to pull the gun out there and then and end it all. "what do you say we head upstairs?" he whispered into her ear and y/n sighed knowing that she could get the mission over with soon. She faked a smile and nodded. Joon leaned over to his bodyguards and whispered something before dragging her off. "wait….. Let's go to the 3rd floor bedroom" she said quickly and he looked confused "no one will be able to hear us there" she thought of the excuse quickly and he must have bought it because he began to pull her to the third floor.

Pushing open the door to the room, joon practically jumped on the girl and began to tug at her dress. 'wow this guy has no idea' she thought and played along with his game. Her eyes caught sight on john in the dark bathroom as he began to make his way out and towards joon.

Pushing the gun to the back of his head, joon stopped and looked down at y/n. "sorry. You shouldn't have broke Continental rules" she smirked "you bitc…." john pulled the trigger and blood went everywhere as joons dead body fell to the ground.

"yep thanks john" y/n said sarcastically wiping blood of her face and john helped her up. "come on we need to leave now". Y/n practically ripped the dress off before pulling on jeans and a shirt which she had john hide earlier. The gown was nice but impractical to do anything in.

The two made their way down to the street below as they heard shouts coming from the room they were just in but began to make their way back to the hotel, trying not to draw any unwanted attention to them. The mission was done and they could go home.

Once inside y/n began to pack and john stopped her. "are you mad at me?" he asked and y/n ignored him feeling tears in her eyes. "y/n" he pleaded and she turned to him "no john im not mad. You practically called me a slut knowing full well how I felt about you but im completely fine" the tears poured down her face as the sarcastic words left her mouth "what on earth are you talking about?" he asked and y/n laughed "oh sure 'i heard he sleeps with any old harlot' ring any bells'" she mocked him and john realised his mistake. "y/n i didnt mean it like….." john stopped when y/n slapped him. " i hate you john wick" she whispered before walking away. John grabbed her wrist, pulling her back. He stared at her in silence for a minute before pulling her into a deep kiss. At first she tried to push him off but soon relaxed into it. He pulled away from her before speaking again "ok i admit i used the wrong words but you know i didnt mean it like that. And after you told me how you felt the other day i realised something" he paused and y/n laughed again "what? That i'm a child?" this time john laughed "no. You are more of a women than someone twice your age. Yhh you moan about stupid things but when the time comes for it you know exactly what to do. You always know the right thing to say and i'm sorry i never noticed it before. I'm sorry I called you a child. I'm sorry I didn't realise I loved you sooner" y/n continued to cry but the tears turned into happy tears. "john" she whispered "do you mean that?" he pulled her closer "every word of it. You're the most beautiful, kindest badass ive ever met". Y/n leaned up to kiss him again and john smiled. "come on let's go home before they figure out who we were" john laughed and y/n buried her head into his chest as her heart fluttered at the thought of being with john.

#keanu reeves #john wick #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves x you #john wick oc #john wick x you #john wick x reader #john wick imagine #young keanu #keanucharlesreeves #keanuedit

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thenovelartist · 6 years ago

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Debts on the Battlefield

This is the last prize for my TV Show contest going to @serenepy who wanted Adrienette and Mistaken Identity. After a few tries, I came up with this. I hope you enjoy it!

It all started when her parents were assassinated.

The neighboring country’s king swore they didn’t commit the crime. However, the evidence disproved his claim, and Marinette watched her father’s second-in-command declare war on the other country.

To say she wasn’t terrified of the thought of murder and bloodshed and war coming up to her kingdom would be an outright lie. This was her kingdom. If she were the heir, she would have gone on to negotiate with the neighboring king and try to uncover the truth. Unfortunately, even as the only child born to Queen Sabine, Marinette was not the true heir because she was a female, and the line passed down solely to sons.

So, she did the only thing she saw fit to do: join the military. She had been mocked at first, but when one of the commanders who had advanced high up the ranks spotted her, he enabled her to join.

“I remember you, your royal highness,” he commented with a smile. “You’re a crafty sort of girl. You were always able to slip around the house without anyone knowing. They called you Little Lucky Ladybug for good reason.”

And that was how she got her nickname. It wasn’t for two months that everyone fighting for her kingdom knew the spy that went by ‘Ladybug’. She was a valuable asset to the war.

Then came the dreaded day that she found herself caught up in a battle. It was in one of her kingdom’s towns, one that lay on the outskirts. Most of the town had evacuated, but for some, they had no where else to go but wait out the fight.

Marinette was forced to do the same.

She found refuge in a house close enough for her to see the fighting. Despite the queasiness in her stomach, she watched the battle. She watched as things exploded and guns went off and smoke billowed upward from the streets of the town. People were screaming; people were dying.

It was with a heavy heart Marinette watched the opposing forces win.

As the smoke cleared, it allowed her to see her army fall back, grabbing all the supplies they could and running in the cover the smoke provided. Those men would live to fight another day, and for that she was thankful. But when the smoke cleared completely, it allowed her to see the carnage in the streets, proving to her that there were many men who wouldn’t make it back home. Furthermore, this town that had once been hers was no longer.

She made it a habit to hold back her tears, but for today, she allowed herself to cry.

It was only once she was able to forcefully swallow the tears did she realize the front door of the house burst open. Her heart was pounding inside her chest as she froze instinctually.

Get up! She mentally chided. Move!

But it was too late. By the time she found the strength to stand, soldiers burst into the second story room, guns pointed at her.

Her only option was to hold up her hands in surrender.

…

He shouldn’t be here. If his father knew he was here, he’d have an absolute fit and likely punish Adrien as though he was a teenager instead of a man nearly twenty-one. But if his father was going to willingly go to war like this against Adrien’s adamant council, then defying his father it was.

Adrien roamed the streets of the town his kingdom had just taken over. He didn’t wear the uniform of a soldier, instead wearing plain clothes to blend into the surroundings. He wasn’t completely insane, after all. He was a hidden soldier, one that made shots from the rooftops and scoped out the best way to win against the enemy.

The moment a woman’s scream reached his ears, he instinctively looked up. Soldiers from his own kingdom were man-handling a woman, throwing her to the ground outside a house. They were yelling something, but at that point, Adrien didn’t care. The men had orders to not harm women and children. Even in this time of war, Adrien would ensure to uphold their honor.

Before one of the soldiers could strike the female, Adrien grabbed him, forcing him off his feet and disarming him. “What do you think you’re doing?” Adrien challenged.

Adrien felt the two other men point their guns at him while the man on the ground looked blankly up at him. With a scowl, Adrien threw the gun back at the man.

Adrien scowled. “Where is your honor, soldier? You don’t touch civilians, no matter which side they belong to.”

With that, he turned to offer a hand to the woman on the ground. Her wide-eyed gaze was mixed fear and intrigue. Adrien shot her a smile he hoped was charming before reaching his hand out to offer assistance. “I apologize on their behalf.”

She remained silent as she hesitantly took his hand and allowed him to assist her in standing.

She had beautiful blue eyes and hair like a raven’s feathers. Young, youthful face. A stunning beauty. He grinned, earnestly this time. “Was this your home?”

“No,” she admitted. “I was passing through and hid before I got caught in the crossfires.”

Poor girl. Yet, her voice held a stubborn courage underneath her fear. “May I then suggest running away from the fighting so as not to get caught again.”

“Understood,” she said, pulling her hand from his. “And thank you.”

With that, the girl spun around and scampered off.

Adrien watched her for a moment before turning back to glare at his men. “Listen carefully,” he warned, tugging out his pocket watch engraved with the kingdom crest. The men instantly stiffened and straightened. “Do not harass the enemy’s civilians. They already think lowly of us. Don’t give them any more reason to hate us.”

“Sir, yes, sir.”

…

It had been a month since Marinette had been saved from her certain entrapment by an extremely handsome young man. At the time, she had been carrying enough notes on her to have her captured as a hostage. She swore that if she ever got the opportunity to repay her debt to him, she’d do it in a heartbeat. Never once did she worry about forgetting his face. She would never forget those kind, green eyes or that mess of blonde hair on his head or that genuine smile.

It was after a battle that she saw him again.

He was in a town among the bodies of many people, both soldiers and civilians.

She would have to make up time later, but for now, she helped him off the ground, propped him upright against a building, then scavenged the area for anything she could find to wrap his head wound.

There was bullet-riddled laundry hanging about that would have to do.

“Well, we meet again,” he said, his smile lopsided and eyes halfway opened as he watched her rip apart the fabric into bandages.

Her heart skipped a beat. He remembered her? “It seems so,” she said with a grin.

He hummed, then remained silent as she wrapped his wound.

“Thank you,” he said once she finished tying off the strips. “I find myself deeply in your debt.”

She blushed lightly. “No. You saved me from those soldiers. This is me repaying my debt to you.”

His smile turned roguish, which only made him more handsome. “I don’t agree. You’ve exceeded paying off what little debt you were in.”

Even though she’d have to scold herself later for being caught up here, letting her heart run wild for a moment, she shot him another grin while shaking her head. “Not by my thoughts.”

“Well, then,” he said, and she knew by that gleam in his eye that she was in trouble. “I’ll just hope that I get once last chance to free myself of this debt you have placed on me, whether you agree or not.”

She should get out of here before she gave into the will to continue flirting with a man she didn’t know the name of. That was already scandalous of her, but it was particularly offensive in the middle of a war. She forced herself to stand. “Then I hope that our next meeting will be under more pleasurable circumstances.”

The smile he gave her as she ran off would come back to haunt her for weeks.

…

He counted himself lucky beyond belief. He was supposed to be marching around the town, trying to scope out the battlefield. In his down-dressed state, he was able to walk straight past soldiers without any issue. He had to hold back his smug grin.

And that’s when he saw her.

Gleefully grinning, Adrien slipped around the crowds of people so he could be in front of her path. “Why, would you look at that?”

He startled her, and it hurt his heart to see the sudden fear of her realizing her path was blocked. The way she looked up at him, with wide-eyes full of fear and stance prepped to run, it was clear she was skittish. If it was from war, then he could do nothing but feel guilty. But if it was from his men attacking her, then he’d swear vengeance.

However, she relaxed, her hand over her chest probably to calm her racing heart. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Forgive me,” he said earnestly. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No. I’m just not used to being approached.”

He grinned. “Are you unused to men calling for your attention? I don’t believe that. A lovely girl such as yourself? You must have had many a man dropping at your feet before the war.”

Where those words came from, he didn’t know, but the blush on her cheeks as well as the skeptical smile was invaluable. “Careful, you sliver-tongued devil.”

He chuckled. “Forgive me. I can’t help myself. Nor can I stop myself from asking this question that has been on my mind since the day we meet.”

Her smile fell and brow knit in worry. He forced his smile to stay on his face even though he hated causing her guard to come rising up again like this. “Oh?”

“May I be so bold as to ask your name?”

Slowly, her shoulders relaxed and her smile returned. “Marinette.”

He tested the word on his tongue and very much liked the way it felt. “Well then, Marinette.” He reached for her hand to bestow a kiss on her knuckles. “What a pleasure meeting you officially.”

With a giggle, she tugged her hand away. “We have not met officially,” she teasingly scolded. “For I don’t know your name.”

Heat rose to his cheeks surprisingly quickly. “Ah, yes. What an idiot I am. My name is Adrien.”

Before she could respond, the clock chimed the hour, and he realized he needed to get back.

“Forgive me,” he said, bowing before her. “But I actually have somewhere I have to be.”

“As do I,” she said, taking a step back. “But it was such a pleasure to meet you.”

“And you, Marinette. I do hope to see you again.”

She gave him a smile before scurrying off into town. As he was leaving, he sent up a prayer that she would be getting out of town as quickly as she could. He didn’t want his Marinette caught in the cross-fires.

…

Her kingdom was losing the battle. They were up against an equally skilled army. The issue was they were much larger than their own.

That, and they had Chat Noir.

Marinette had been transporting a warning to all the squadrons all over her kingdom informing them about the man once caught in black leather taking shots from a high ground. It was as though he knew the terrain, knew the field, knew how their armed forces would be organized.

And that meant they were in deep trouble.

Marinette found herself caught in the cross-fires once again. She had been delivering messages about this Chat Noir figure to the troops stationed here, only for the opposing army to spring an attack on them.

Not wanting to be caught anywhere near the general’s house, Marinette scampered for another cover spot. Maybe, if she was lucky, she’d be able to get out of the town completely. There were many people unprepared for the attack here, all running around frantically while trying to escape the city. In the commotion, she slipped down an alley way, only to run into a figure in a black leather vest.

She looked up, only to come face to face with Adrien.

His eyes widened upon seeing her. “What are you still doing here? Get out of the town.”

“I could ask the same for you,” she countered, holding tightly to the hand he grabbed as he pulled her along out of the city.

“Wrong place, wrong time,” was all the answer he gave.

“You and me both.”

They escaped the alley, only to skid to a halt upon seeing several of the opposing army’s men standing there, guns in hand.

One spotted them and raised to fire.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Adrien shoved her back into the alley just as the shot rang out. Marinette squeaked at the sound, sadly accustomed to it but not of it being so close.

“Run!”

So she did. As fast as she could, her hand in his, she ran, weaving through the town buildings with ease. But just as she turned the corner, she slid to a stop upon seeing even more soldiers. She ducked into the closest open building, dragging Adrien in behind her. He quickly shut the door, just as the soldiers started shouting and gunfire went off.

“Upsta—” She never finished that word and instead gasped at the sight of blood staining his shirt.

He looked at her, then down at his shoulder. His brow furrowed as he tugged at the cloth. “They got me.”

“We have to get the bullet out,” Marinette said.

He frowned at her. “And you know how to do that?”

She would love to say that she could confidently, that she personally did it before when she spent the first month of the war helping at a hospital while other nurses were being assembled. “I’ve assisted in the procedure and seen it done many times.”

His brow furrowed, questions clear on his face. But he didn’t voice them. “What do you need?”

…

Adrien was not looking forward to this. Once before, did he have to get a bullet taken out of his leg, but that was the extent of his major injuries. He could have waited for the battle to be over and his own army’s medical staff patch him up, however he knew they would be busy as is. And as Marinette listed off the things she needed, marching around the surprisingly full house with a determined expression, his confidence in her grew.

Once they collected everything they needed, Marinette instructed Adrien to lay down on the bed upstairs. He stripped out of his vest and shirt before he did. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a slight dusting of pink on her cheeks. He didn’t know what to think of it, but he wanted to be flattered by it.

For the next several minutes, he was biting down on a rag while she dug the lead bullet from his shoulder and sewed up the wound. It was about as painful as he remembered it being.

However, the biggest pain of all was being shot by one of his own men. He supposed that was the price for trying to protect a civilian.

“Thank you,” he said once she was bandaging him up yet again.

“You have to stop getting injured when I’m around,” she said. He got the pleasure of learning her eyes sparkled when she teased.

“I’d love to,” he said. “Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to happen for the foreseeable future.”

She shook her head, but the smile she wore was one of amusement.

“I can’t help but notice,” he began, unable to help himself, “that I seem to cross paths with you in the middle of these battles.”

Her expression fell as her eyes locked on his.

“I…” she began, struggling with her words. “I have family and friends everywhere,” she eventually said. “But I’m as shocked as you are that you’re in these battles constantly.”

He forced a grin when he really wanted to cringe. “I… I’m documenting the battles,” he answered, thinking that it was a halfway decent excuse.

“Oh,” was all Marinette said as she tied off his bandages.

He had to think of something quick to change the subject. “Sorry for asking,” he said. “It just seemed odd that such a lovely young woman like yourself happened to be in the middle of battles. Not that I don’t love running into you; I would just prefer them being under much better circumstances.”

A lovely rosy hue spread across her cheeks, and he couldn’t help but feel warm knowing he caused that lovely look on her. Slowly, she ducked her head, a smile on her face. “Flatterer.”

He grinned. “Hardly.” The scary thing was that he meant it. Here he was, Prince of the Papillion kingdom, flirting with a commoner girl of the opposing kingdom. She was beautiful; that he wasn’t lying about. And kind. And had a lovely smile.

She snorted, turning away.

Despite knowing he should be out there, it seemed he was trapped here until the battle was over. His own fault for wanting to clear out the civilians. He told the general not to pull such a barbaric move, attacking a full town, but even though he was the prince, the generals swore they knew better. Today, they would have to serve without their eyes in the sky. It seemed fair to Adrien. At least, that was what he told himself so he would feel less guilty in the pleasure he took being trapped here with Marinette.

…

She was terrified. And that was an understatement. She’d been caught by the opposing army. She listened to the creak of the enclosed cart, the lock and chains on the outside making plenty of noise with every step the horses took. There were a couple army officials in the cart with her, all ones she’d been meeting with before the camp was raided.

What they were going to do, she didn’t know. So to keep the thoughts at bay, she thought of her kingdom. And when that got too hard, she thought of Adrien and his smile as he told her to stay safe as they last parted ways.

“I’ll find you again once the war is over,” he’d said with a wink. “Mark my words on that.”

With a sigh, Marinette forced everything out of her head. Apparently, even dashingly handsome, green-eyed blondes made her heart hurt too much.

…

“Father, we took the kingdom.”

Even though Adrien grinned for his father, he did not feel happy about it. He could only think of the civilians caught in the crossfires, of the towns he’d assisted evacuating when the fighting happened. His thoughts wondered to a certain Marinette and her bright smile, appearing in the battlefields. She wasn’t the only young woman running for her life from the war—there had to be people younger and far older than her running for their lives—but she was the only one that came to the forefront of his mind.

“Good,” was all his father said. “I hope this serves as a lesson to anyone else who dares to accuse us falsely.”

Adrien’s stomach dropped. He didn’t like his father’s methods. He felt them flawed. They should have gone to the kingdom with white flags raised and assisted them in discovering who the true assassins were. That would have been far more beneficial for both of them.

“We will absorb their kingdom into ours,” his father said. “They are small, as are we. We will be a stronger power together.”

Adrien simply nodded. “What will you do with the war prisoners?”

Gabriel paused. “I suppose we will release them,” he said. “No need to make any more of an enemy with the new part of our kingdom. But document them all first so that they have records against them already. If there is an uprising they are a part of, then they will be tried.”

Adrien nodded. “Yes, father.”

“And I will have you oversee it,” his father continued. “I’ll be far too busy with other matters to oversee something so trivial.”

“Yes, father. I understand.”

…

Marinette may have hated liars, but right now, it was best to tell herself she wasn’t completely terrified that she might just die.

She, along with all the other prisoners of war, were to be documented as potential threats, meaning that if they ever made a wrong move, they’d likely be hung.

The men brought the prisoners out in several small groups. They were warned against acting out, even under the threat of the Prince of Papillion being there and able to give the order of them being hung on the spot. Marinette hoped for the sake of them all making it out alive that everyone would cooperate and the officials would be merciful.

The soldiers made their way through the rows of cells, meaning Marinette was one of the last to be taken out. And as the only woman, she was taken out alone.

She had to squint at the sudden bright daylight, and she cursed the sunshine. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, but once they did, her gut sank.

Because Adrien stood there in his royal garb, proving he was the prince overseeing everything.

She watched his expression shift to one of horror. She shoved down her emotions and begged her eyes to stay dry. She had to pretend it didn’t feel like betrayal that the man she remembered fondly on the battlefield happened to be the prince of the kingdom responsible for murdering her parents.

She had been the Princess of Coccinelle; she would stand with her head high, chin raised, back straight. She would not cower.

“State your name,” the recorder asked.

“Princess Marinette Dupain of the Coccinelle Kingdom.”

Everyone froze, particularly Adrien.

The recorder was the first to move, ready to write the name down in the book.

But Adrien’s arm shot out, covering the page before the man could touch the pen to the paper.

“Your royal highness,” Adrien addressed, bowing before her. “I would like to give my deepest apologies for the treatment you have received. Should you agree, I wish to offer you a stay here at Castle Papillion, for there are many matters I would like to discuss with you.”

Curious, she rose a brow. “What matters do we have to discuss? You are the ruler of my kingdom now, are you not? That is what this war was about.”

He looked hurt at her words. As he should be. “The first matter I wish to discuss being a long list of apologies for our transgressions against you,” Adrien began, his words still strong and steady as a prince’s should be. “The second being an offer to discover who truly is behind the deaths of your parents, for I assure you that I know of no such plan that has ever been in place in this kingdom.”

Her brow furrowed. “You say you know of no plan, yet did you not just wage war against us?”

“My father agreed to such terms, but I swear I opposed it from the start.”

“If the king himself did not listen to your council then what makes you believe he will agree with your offer to me now?”

At that, Adrien was silent.

Marinette bit back the urge to smile bitterly up at him. “Then I will decline your—”

“Your royal highness, please,” Adrien said. “Please, allow me to make amends.”

“Amends!” Marinette cried in outrage. “You take over my kingdom and now want to make amends?”

Her heart was screaming in pain as she watched Adrien struggle for words.

“Yes,” he answered. “I do. Whether my father does is not a decision I can make for him. But I want to do what I can to express my deepest regrets.”

Marinette glared at him. Even though the logical answer was no, something in her… something in her didn’t agree.

“One day,” she growled. “I will give you one day.”

Again, he bowed before her. “Thank you, your royal highness. That is grace from you I know I do not deserve.”

…

There was nothing more humiliating than having to salvage any possible relationship with a princess that had been mistaken as a war criminal.

Adrien rubbed his eyes. His father had been less than happy at the news of what Adrien had done. His father had glowered at him and said, “I will have no part in whatever you decide to do.”

Which really meant that Father was disappointed in Adrien’s choices and would make Adrien clean up his own mess with his own resources.

Adrien felt that was fair. He’d bit his tongue against voicing off against his father, knowing it would only rain more hell back down on him.

He sat in his own study awaiting Princess Marinette to arrive. He’d ordered her to be tended to, which meant a bath, a place for the night, and a change of his late mother’s clothes. Then, he’d asked for her to meet him in his study for the morning.

When she did arrive, she looked none too happy.

“Prince Adrien,” she said, her voice sharp with irritation as she curtsied before him.

“Princess Marinette,” he returned, bowing for her. He then offered her to take a seat, which she did. She sat all and proud, chin raised, eyes fiery.

If they were on better terms, he’d gladly pour compliments over her and lay a kiss on her knuckles. However, he knew that would not be accepted at the moment.

He hoped that one day they would.

“Your highness, I need to apologize—”

“Why.”

Adrien paused. “Why?”

“Why do you feel the need to flatter me with apologies after what you did to my kingdom?”

Adrien took a breath. “Because no matter what my father did, I disagreed with him from the start.”

“Yet you were on the battlefield.”

“If he was going to start a war I could not stop, and the generals were more than happy to put in in motion, then there was nothing I could do except hope to keep the casualties to a minimum.”

Her eyes narrowed as she studied him for a moment. “Is that why we constantly crossed paths in town?” she asked. “Because you were trying to keep civilian casualties low?”

“And I scouted ahead,” he admitted. “To see the best way we could surprise people and subsequently flush them out instead of firing deadly shots.”

Again, those sharp blue eyes locked on him. He stared back, hoping that she would realize that he was telling the truth.

“I want to believe you.”

Her tone was sharp, but somehow, he believed those words. “If you don’t, I would understand completely,” he said. “You have every right to be mad at me. You have every right to not believe me. Honestly, you have every right to hate me and my kingdom and my father. I won’t fault you.”

For a moment, her eyes fell to her lap. After a moment of silence, they returned to him. “Before the war began,” she started, “your father said your kingdom did not kill my parents.”

“I have every reason to believe that is the truth,” Adrien said. “We had no reason to start war with your kingdom. As I said before, I advised my father against going to war with your kingdom. If the assassins were from our kingdom, then we would brand them as traitors and bring them to justice. As smaller kingdoms, we would have been better off forging an alliance between us. Why start a war when we could be strong together and on good terms?”

Marinette looked skeptical, but at least she wasn’t angry at him anymore. Adrien would gladly take any peace offering she would give.

“Can I have your word,” she said, “that you know nothing about the assassins. Swear to me with the same honor you showed on the battlefield to my people—to me—that you did not have any involvement with them or the plan to take over my kingdom.”

He held up a hand in oath and looked her directly in the eyes. “I swear on my life and on my honor that I had no knowledge of any sort pertaining to your parents’ assassination.”

For the longest time, she just looked at him, studying him. He didn’t dare move.

“I believe you.”

He felt relieved, but knew that that her belief was shaky. “I swear to you,” he said, “that even if I have to spend the rest of my life proving that trust to you, I will. And I will begin today.”

It was barely noticeable, but her shoulders relaxed the tiniest bit and her chin lowered slightly.

He grinned. He supposed it was a start.

…

Marinette was in her castle, back in her own room that wouldn’t be hers for much longer. How long, she wasn’t certain, but Adrien agreed to let her stay in the home she grew up in until further notice.

“Your royal highness,” a servant that approached her said. “Prince Adrien Agreste of the Papillion Kingdom has arrived and requested an audience with you.”

Her stomach dropped. “Lead me to him.”

With false courage, she went downstairs to meet him. “Prince Adrien,” she greeted. “What brings you?”

The look on his face was worrisome. His frown was strong, and his eyes held a sadness. With his head bowed, he presented her a stack of letters. “Princess Marinette,” he said. “I must beg your forgiveness. I swear I have upheld my oath that I had no hand in this, but I recently discovered that my father has.”

Her heart stopped. With shaky hands, she reached out to take the offered papers and slowly opened them to read.

“I’m sorry,” Adrien kept repeating. “I’m so sorry.”

She couldn’t read them fully. She could only skim them. Words popped off the page at her, haunting her. Somehow, she finished reading the damning papers. Her world felt like it was spinning, leaving her dizzy and disoriented. Absently, she closed the papers, looking up at him even though she felt completely lost.

“Princess Marinette, I have a proposition to make you,” he began. His voice was filled with emotion he was clearly trying to shove down. “I met you on the battlefield many a time, and if the rumors are true, then you are a skilled spy. Though, you only became one to serve your kingdom.”

Her brow furrowed.

“I know I do not know you well enough to say this, but I will state it anyway: I believe you would make a great queen for your kingdom. As its heir, you should be the rightful ruler, not my father.”

She smiled bitterly. “That is kind of you to say—”

“I’m not finished,” he said. He glanced around at the soldiers in the room before leaning closer and lowering his voice. “I am only slightly more confident in saying that my father clearly does not have the proper respect or honor it takes to lead a kingdom.”

Her eyes widened in surprise at his words.

A fire sparked in his eyes, and she knew he was about to say something dangerous. “So will you assist me,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “In overthrowing my father.”

His words stunned. She was there with her eyes wide and mouth agape in a way she would certainly be scolded for.

“And once we do,” he said. “Because I am most certain we will succeed, I will take over for my father and grant you back your kingdom, allowing you to become the ruler that your kingdom deserves.” He paused, taking a step back to give her space. “I wish to prove to you that the man you met on the battlefield was one of honor. I’m asking for a lot, I am aware, but will you partner with me on this endeavor?”

Marinette looked him over, searching his eyes and his body language and his expressions. She knew it was madness to trust him, but then again, did he have reason to trust her? Marinette could tell he was earnest in his apology and righteous in his intentions.

“I remember on the battlefield,” Adrien continued. “How, each time we ran into each other, we would find ourselves in the other’s debt. Well, I seem to find myself vastly in yours, and I hope… I hope you will trust me enough to allow me to pay it off.”

While stunned at his words, she stuck her hand out in the space between them. “Surprisingly, I do trust you. Prove to me now that you are that man I met on the battlefield.”

He smiled, then reached for her hand, bowing over it to kiss her knuckles respectfully. “Princess Marinette, I will not let you down. And maybe one day, I will prove to you the kind of man I am.”

She smiled, remembering that first time they met on the battlefield. How he’d come to save her. The irony of each of them assisting the enemy was not lost on her. But now, she knew in her heart that they were fighting for the same side. “I believe you… Partner.”

…

It was the second hardest year of Adrien’s life. Plotting to overthrow his own father… he warred with himself about how terrible of a son he was. But in the end, when he discovered more incriminating evidence about his father wanting to wage war with another kingdom, that was all Adrien needed to be certain that this plan was for the best.

Marinette was a good partner. She would make an incredible queen, her words powerful and actions meaningful. But she was also sly and crafty and clever. It was because of her that a rally of trustworthy troops were at the ready to assist in bringing Adrien’s father to justice.

“I’m doing this for you, Adrien,” his father had said when presented with the evidence.

“No, you’re not,” Adrien scowled. “This is for your own selfish gain.”

After that, Adrien offered his father two options: step down quietly and give Adrien the throne, or be assassinated on the spot.

With Marinette pointing a knife at his nick, Adrien’s father decided to go quietly. Adrien called in several court servants to serve as witnesses as the paperwork was completed.

“I don’t want to lock you in the dungeons, father,” Adrien said. “I suggest going quietly to mother’s old estate.”

Marinette was the one who sent soldiers to monitor him for months. And when they came back a few months later saying he was killed, Marinette and Adrien decided to look the other way instead of seek justice.

The next several months after King Gabriel’s resignation were spent rebuilding the kingdoms and establishing Marinette as Queen of the Coccinelle Kingdom before releasing it entirely.

“But Marinette,” Adrien began, “one thing before you return.”

She turned her blue eyes on him. He could not deny the way his heart skipped whenever she looked at him. Or how it got hard to breathe. Or words failed him.

He swallowed. “I… For the benefit of both our kingdoms, I would like to bind our kingdoms together in peace,” he said.

She smiled, and he might have had to brace himself on his desk to keep from falling over. When he was a kid, he never understood the fluttery feelings lovers got in fairytales. Now, it seemed he understood them too well. “Well,” she began. “There is a simple solution.”

It took him much too long to come to any conclusion, and when he did, it seemed like the wrong one. “A marriage union?”

Her smile confirmed it, and nearly knocked him off his feet in the process. “I do find myself in your debt, after all.”

His brow furrowed. “How so?”

Her smile shifted slightly, changing it from congratulatory to sweet. “You returned my kingdom to me.”

“I could not have accomplished that without your assistance,” he countered. “Furthermore, that is the fulfillment of my debt to you.”

She shook her head. “I disagree.”

His heart skipped and he swallowed, giving him a moment longer to find words to say. “I don’t think that you owe me nearly enough to pledge your life to me out of gratitude.”

That locked the two in an impasse.

“Then,” Marinette began. “May I suggest that you come courting, and maybe, after a while, I’ll find myself in such a debt that I won’t be able to say no to your proposal.”

He couldn’t hold back his smile even if he wanted to. “Then my I warn you that this young king has set his sights on a lovely young queen to be his bride.”

He relished the sight of her smile as well as the light dusting of pink on her cheeks. “Your warning has been noted. Best of luck to you in your endeavors.”

#miraculous ladybug #fanfiction #one-shot #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette #royalty #au #I don't know what else to tag this as

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ruffiorocks · 6 years ago

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James Olsen Issues with powerful men and women (anti James, but only because i think i finally see the issue!)

OK, so after the last episode i have come to the conclusion James is and has been in need of some serious therapy since he first came to National City and even before then! I've started to see a pattern of jealously towards both powerful men and women. Essentially, people more relevant that himself.

Kelly stated that Lex has tried to kill James 8 times now.

We’ve also learned that Lex kidnapped and tortured James to get to Superman.

That is a lot of bad s**t to happen to a guy and not have him work through it. That is guaranteed to cause some kind of issues!

When James got to National City the first thing he did was get involved with yet another super, even though he clearly hasn't worked through the issues that being involved with the first super had caused. This was a super he could get involved with and influence, have some degree of control over.

After seeing his poor treatment of Kelly (before the end of the ep) im wondering if this is what has caused him to have issues with women telling him what to do or being his superiors.

Hear me out (then you can tell me if you think im wrong,which is fine, each to their own).

So ever since James met Superman he has been in the shadow and the side kick of the most powerful alien on Earth. A man that James is even taller than! In addition to this James has been in the middle of a battle royale between the most powerful alien on earth and the most powerful man (Lex). James’ only role in this rivalry was to be kidnapped, tortured and basically nearly killed 8 times. James has basically been a damsel in distress. Maybe this is what led James to go and get himself a black belt.

So, James has never been able to be on par with the men in his life while in Metropolis. Clark is Superman so no competition there, Lex is a billionaire genius, James cant compete and he worked for Perry White a powerful man in the media. Who is James here other than the guy who gets kidnapped? He isnt really relevant in the grand scheme of things and he just takes photos. (By relevant, i mean he is no different to any other civilian other than the fact he knows Superman).

Now James goes to National City, pretty much just after he has been kidnapped, tortured and been given 18 scars. The first thing he does? Gets involved with the shenanigans of yet another super and put himself in yet more dangerous situations with no way to really defend himself. By rights the guy should already have PTSD and should have been in therapy and having a looong get away somewhere quiet without super drama (pun intended).

In the very first episode after Kara meets him and says Cat doesn't like to be kept waiting, James replies with ‘whats she going to do? Fire me right after hiring me?’ His attitude towards his new female boss here is not a good start. A prelude to how he will later treat Lena as his boss?

James also thought he was enough of a big shot to sit on the arm of the couch in Cats office while everyone else was standing up in respect and fear. One look from Cat was enough to nip that in the bud! James got a reality check here.

The first season he got annoyed that Winn knew Kara’s secret, like he was the only one that should have known it. He made a point to flirt with Kara even though he still had a girlfriend he hadnt broken up with.

When his girlfriend came after him he tried again with her while continuing his flirtation with Kara. He then got annoyed at Lucy for working at Cat Co, he broke up with her, he then got annoyed when she came back and Kara revealed herself to her. James was annoyed when Lucy said ‘and you’re back in Kara’s loft, nothings changed then’. Lucy wasnt willing to have a boyfriend who had no respect for her and outwardly flirted with other women in front of her.

So what was James' issue with Lucy? A strong, independent woman who was career driven? Well, maybe that was exactly it. Remember how Lucy was/is a Major in the army with respect, status, is involved in alien, government, DEO business? She’s also freaking tiny and James is like 6 foot tall. he couldnt handle a small in stature girlfriend being above him in any way. James also stood up Lucy to help Kara and always put Kara first, the only one willing to put any work into that relationship was Lucy. James put Superman first, then Supergirl. Lucy Land deserved so much better than James. Lucy would later be made the head of the DEO and work with Supergirl and Alex, being relevant where James was just not.

General Lane, even James’ girlfriends father was a man of more power , influence and relevance than James was. Out shined by both your girlfriend and her father. Even more out shined by your girlfriends sister since shes the Daily Planets top reporter. Who also happens to be the girlfriend of his best friend and the man he will never outshine.

Then we had Barry Allen show up and James was instantly jealous of the attention that Kara gave him. He was once again shown up (in his mind) by a man who was more powerful than he was. A man that could help Kara take down enemies that James couldn't help with.

Winn, well Winn contributed more to helping Kara save the day than James ever did, both in season 1 and when he put on that ridiculous Guardian outfit. Winn was a smaller, none athletic nerdy guy who was 100xs smarter than James and way more useful. James in season 1 was a glorified love interest who didnt do much.

When James did try to help in season 1 he managed to piss people off. He called Clark because he didnt believe Kara could handle Reactron because her male counter part couldnt. (proved wrong)/ He went snooping after Maxwell Lord and got kidnapped and got his ass handed to him again by a billionaire man more powerful and relevant than himself.

When James turned up at the DEO he was told by Jonn to go home, he wasnt wanted there because he wasnt needed or relevant.

Winn was asked to join the DEO and he left Cat Co to go and continue to be a valuable relevant member of the team. Winn was wanted and needed by the DEO, Jonn and Alex.

Remember when Kara was on red K? James wanted nothing to do with her afterwards. Yes she absolutely assaulted him, but that just backs up my point of James’ experiences with someone far more powerful than himself and a woman to boot.

When Lena turned up James was instantly suspicious, another powerful billionaire with more influence than himself. A woman he instantly judged for her family name, even though we learned last week she was kidnapped the same as him by the same guy. She was also the reason that Lex was caught. Lena did what Clark and James were incapable of doing.

James became Guardian because he felt he had the same call to help people and he was ‘meant for this?’ No, James was watching everyone else he knew be relevant and was watching people more powerful than him have influence and was jealous.

James demanded that Winn finish his suit because he couldn't stand being left out and watching the people whose job it was to deal with threats and were perfectly capable of dealing with them handle it.

James told Kara she had no right to decide who gets to be a hero, true, but then he thought he deserved to be one because he had a ‘call’ and he had a black belt. Go join the freaking police academy then! He couldnt stand Kara telling him no’ another powerful woman with more influence than him. Kara didnt want her human friend to get hurt, her untrained human friend. She did meet Oliver, Sara and CO, but they had years of intense physical and psychological training. They didnt get a black belt and put on a Halloween costume and think they were the s**t. Even Alex had to train for month before Jonn let her out into the field.

Alex? Another powerful more relevant woman than James will ever be. She told James and Winn to tell Kara the truth and he didnt.

James couldn't deal with Mon El, ‘I had to deal with the civilians’ ‘Mon El cares about you and himself!’ He didn't believe Mon El could be a hero and didnt want to give him a chance. What was his issue with Mon El? Another man more powerful than him, replaced him as a love interest and was welcomed at the DEO to be part of the team.

Cat leaves James in charge of Cat Co, a job he has zero experience in. But he finally gets to be a man of influence, this shows in later seasons, especially with the COL story line. James has become a man that now has some influence and is more relevant, his words now mean something. But then Lena buys Cat Co and James just thinks he’s going to keep his position and he’ll continue to run things the way he has been and will give her weekly updates. Well she soon nipped that in the bud didnt she? He even said they didnt have an office for her. Well technically his office was still Cat’s and since Lena bought it it becomes her office. He was even rude to her when she asked where Kara was running off to and he got annoyed that Lena held a meeting without him. Sure she probably should have told him, but dont forget this is a man who had no love for Lena and she had no reason to like him, so maybe she wanted to meet the staff without James’ influence, so she knew what she was dealing with.

This was clear example of yet another powerful, influential billionaire being more relevant and one upping James. To add to it she’s another woman who can now tell James what to do.

James realized Lena was staying? Well he’ll just get romantically involved with his boss, that will keep his position and influence in tact.

James looked beyond annoyed when he touched Lena’s bare shoulder and she squirmed (yes squirmed) out of his grasp.

James was approached by the COL who saw something in him and wanted to work with him. James was so flattered by this he got involved with them without even thinking about it, leading to of course disaster!!

Lena told James as his boss not to go and meet with the COL because she had booked him to debate with Ben Lockwood on TV, something that would have made more sense. But James told her she wasn't allowed an opinion on what he does because its work. He told this to his BOSS! She then had to pull rank on him and he couldn't stand the fact that a woman could tell him what to do. He ignored her and sent an inexperienced rookie reporter to do it instead.

James even got pissed at Lena because she saved him from going to prison for a long time for coming out as Guardian. Instead of thanking her he got mad and rejected her love. Another/same woman able to do something that he himself would never have been able to do. He was once again saved by a woman and someone more powerful than he was. A woman who supported his stupid decision to come out as Guardian in the first place.

James gets dumped and decides he may have to look into the lead he tried to squash on his girlfriend. Take down the woman who dumped you? Your boss? Using her resources?

James gets shot and his sister authorizes the use of a drug to save his life. He wakes up and is instantly disrespectful to her and tells her she just wants to tell him what to do and she should go home!

OK so, i conclude from this that James’ traumas in Metropolis has given him serious issues. He is always being kidnapped by male billionaires and beaten up. He cannot stand that there are both alien and human women that are more powerful, relevant and influential than he is and have authority over him. He cannot stand being on the outside looking in, he has to get involved in whats going on even when he’s told not to and people dont want him to. His romantic interests always consist of women who have more power and influence than he ever will, whose thoughts, opinions and decisions actually matter in the situations the gang find themselves in. When those women tell him ‘no’ or pull rank on him, he even dumps them, tells them they cant tell him what to do or he makes them feel like they are in the wrong.

He cannot stand that there are humans out there more relevant and useful than him (Winn) or aliens (Mon El).

James needs therapy, all of this trauma has turned him into this man that doesn't like female authority, cant stand men of more influence than him and has left him with a desperate need to be in the thick of the fight when in fact he has no business being out on the battle field at all. James’ time as the ‘dude/damsel in distress’ when he was with Superman has left him feeling weak and vulnerable and his masculinity has taken a huge hit.

General Lane said ‘You surround yourself with special people, but that doesn't make you special’. Probably the truest words ever spoken to James. James is/was special in his own way, he should have stuck to being a photographer. Like a few episodes back when he got back into that again. All of the above is just James trying to be something he will never be.

Either that, or poor writing. You decide.

#anti james olsen #anti guardiancorp #kara danvers #mon el #supergirl #superman #alex danvers #lex luthor #winn shott #lena luthor #jonn jonzz #lucy lane #general lane #maxwell lord #cat grant #kelly olsen #clark kent

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the-marvel-imagines-blog · 6 years ago

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Madness | Chpt. 9

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “Alone Again”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 7,782

Warnings: ???

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

A/N: This was one of the more difficult chapters to make it through, since I wanted to follow the timeline of events in IM3 (one of my favorite movies in the MCU), but I also wanted to tie in Eva. I hope Tony lives up to your expectations. I try to pull pieces from the MCU version, comic book version, and my own personal ideas. Once again, you’re all so amazing for even reading this in the first place. I love all of you so, so, so much <3 -Ellie

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny @xletmetaste-yoursmilex @itsknife2meetu (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

When I landed, a chill overcame me as soon as the bridge disappeared from around me. I gazed around at the ground that surrounded the ring the Bifrost left and noticed that it was all snow. I pulled the hood of my white robe over my head and pulled the robes around my body, feeling warmer instantly. As I gazed up into the crystal clear night sky, I saw the stars twinkling and shimmering. Midgard had some of the most beautiful views of the sky, but it was nothing close to the view from the edge of Asgard. Still, whenever Loki and I were on Midgard, we would find a way to lay in the grass and gaze up at the stars for a while. Suddenly, I noticed him. At first, he looked more like a falling star than the armored man. Seeing his trajectory, I knew that he was bound to fly right into the forest next to me.

I ran over to the trees and rested my hand against them. As I closed my eyes, I connected with the essence of life within the planet itself. She was beautiful, strong, and loving without expecting any love in return. The Midgardians often treated her poorly, but she continued to provide for them as best she could. I focused on the pulsing energy beneath the tips of my fingers as the sound of the suit rocketing toward the Earth faded away. The sound wasn’t replaced by another, but instead, it was replaced by the beautiful silence of the world. In the silence, my soul became eternally bound to hers. It was an experience that I had on my own, as no other Asgardian I confided in had ever felt that way before. However, it made my bonds with the life energies of every world that much more powerful. When our souls bound together, she finally heard my heart, and I could feel the tree beneath my hand shift. I felt them all shift.

When I opened my eyes, I saw that the trees had separated just enough to accommodate Tony’s fall, and as he zoomed past me and through the forest, I thanked her for her act of generosity. I began running after him, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to catch him, not before he stopped himself. He bounced off the ground a few more times, which slowed him down. Nearly as soon as he made it out of the forest, I had caught up to him enough to grab hold of his suit in an attempt to stop him. The metal slipped from my fingers, and he skidded across the ground before coming to a complete stop, face first in the snow. I hid myself in the darkness that the forest provided once the trees moved back into place. The light from the stars and moon in the night sky left shadows in the woods that I faded into.

As I camouflaged myself in the darkness, I watched as one of the greatest heroes I knew groaned and turned himself over onto his back before reaching up and tearing off the metal faceplate, “what the hell was that?” he asked aloud to the artificial intelligence we all knew as Jarvis. I could hear the change in his breathing pattern. I had such a strong connection to him that I could feel every subtle change within him, sometimes before they even happened. I knew that he was paranoid about what just happened, “did you see that beam of light in the sky, Jay? Was it just me? Am I going crazy? Where are we” he asked, his voice trembling.

I didn’t hear Jarvis’ response, but if I closed my eyes, I could hear that voice. It was smoother than anyone could have anticipated from a disembodied, artificial voice. As Tony’s suit opened, I watched as he shot out of it, sitting up and staring into the woods he had just barrelled through. I knew he was trying to think of how he possibly made it out of there without crashing through trees and hitting branches. His eyes scanned the shadows, but I blended in so well that he wouldn’t be able to see me even if he was staring right at me. I watched as he began to shudder from the cold, “that’s brisk!” he exclaimed, his entire body trembling from the cold. I couldn’t imagine how it must’ve felt for him. I was lucky enough to be impervious to the fluctuating seasons. The extreme heat and cold wouldn’t kill me, but it could make me uncomfortable, and I was pretty uncomfortable in that moment, “maybe I’ll just cozy back up for a-”

Tony was cut off by the disembodied voice that came from the open suit, “I...actually think I need to sleep now, sir,” Jarvis said, the suit beginning to power down.

“Jarvis. Jarvis?” Tony asked, panic in his voice. I knew he didn’t want to be left alone, not after what he just went through. I didn’t know what led up to him rocketing down toward the ground, but I could tell by the fear in his voice, the cuts on his face, and the shaking in his hands that things were far from being alright for him. He was terrified, and it wasn’t because of what just happened, it was because of something else, something I needed to help him with. As his eyes continued to scan the forest around him, I stepped out of the shadows and listened to his breath hitch in his throat. As I stepped out of the forest and closed the space between us, I lowered the hood of my robes, “Eva?” he asked, his body continuing to quake in anticipation, uncertainty, and the cold.

The sides of my mouth pulled up into a smile, and I did my best to push back the pain in my abdomen for the moment in order to be positive for his sake, “hi, Tony,” I murmured, my heart filling with joy as it finally sank in that he was alive. When Heimdall told me that he was in danger, I was worried that I wouldn’t make it to him in time or that he would already be dead.

His dark brown eyes remained wide, even as I knelt down beside him. He was in utter disbelief that I was even there in front of him, and there would be little to nothing I could do to ease his mind. The last time we saw each other, I had made it abundantly clear that I would only be back in the most dire circumstances that pertained to her safety. However, I knew that she wasn’t in danger with Steve; there was no way he would allow harm to come to her, especially not after all we had been through. Tony was the only one whose life was on the line. He shook his head, his eyelashes fluttering like the wings of a butterfly as he tried to blink away what he thought was an illusion, “am I dreaming?” he asked, the words causing me to let out a chuckle, “am I dead?” he asked, not understanding why he was seeing me.

I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering why it was so hard for a genius like him to figure it out. I knew that part of it was how I left things when I went back to Asgard the last time, but I also knew that a part of it was because he couldn’t wrap his mind around why someone would care about him enough to go out of their way to help him. It was devastating to see him trying to figure out why people would care about him in the first place, and I was watching it happen in front of my eyes in that very moment, “no, why?” I asked, wrapping my cloak around his shoulders to keep him warm. The lack of warmth from my cloak left my patches of bare skin prey for the cold air around us. Tony was warm, though, and that was all that mattered.

As he tried to shrug out of the cloak, not wanting me to go without, I shook my head and watched as the robes stayed locked around his body. He looked genuinely confused, but he was still too busy trying to decipher my presence, “what the hell are you doing here?” he asked, finally giving up the fight to figure it out on his own. Suddenly, his eyes filled with dread, “is she okay?” he asked, knowing that there should’ve been no reason for my presence as long as she was safe.

I gave a simple nod, not wanting to talk about her, “I’m here to help. I saw that you were in trouble, so I’m here to help you sort through it and to make sure you don’t get yourself killed, which it seems like you’re trying to do,” I said, gazing at the cuts on his face. There was one across the bridge of his nose, one on his cheek, and one on his forehead. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to piece together what happened before I got there, what happened to lead to him rocketing toward the Earth, looking just as busted up as Hjalmar did when he trained with Ephinea. She could lay him out without missing a beat, “you’re bleeding!” I exclaimed, reaching out to cup his cheek only for him to wince away from me.

That single move tore my heart to pieces, as if there was still enough of it left whole for that to happen. I had always been able to see through the facade he put up, but this was something new. He was far more vulnerable than ever before in that one reaction, and it summed up the way he saw himself. It summed up just how little he believed he was worth. He didn’t think himself worthy enough for my help, and he was afraid that I would hurt him. It hurt to know that he could view me as a threat, but it hurt me even more that someone or something hurt him so badly that he was conditioned to expect that. Tony had been through a lot, far more than he ever could’ve imagined, far more than many others could handle. He was tender-hearted but hid away that side of himself to appear cold, to appear “strong.”

I blinked the tears away, not wanting to show him how much his action truly hurt me, “I can fix it,” I explained, causing him to finally show himself to me. His eyebrows furrowed, and I knew that he doubted my abilities, but he would see them in a moment. I reached up once more, focusing on the slow movement of my hand, making sure not to startle him again. The entire time, I felt his gaze on me, and once I finally rested my hand against his cheek, I met his intense stare, brown eyes boring into mine. They were so deep that the further I fell into his gaze, the warmer I became. As I focused my power, I felt his wounds transferring through my fingertips and onto me, and his eyes fluttered closed. Even though it was always an unpleasant experience, even though my whole body ached, the piece that made the transfer worth it was knowing that the pain I endured was a pain he no longer needed to carry. For a man like Tony, I would take on a pain that would take my life just so the world could keep him.

Once I removed my hand from his cheek, his eyes shot open. Every time I touched someone, I knew the effect. Our souls-for that moment-were connected. I didn’t understand why or how it happened, but it did. When I used my abilities on that person through the touch, the connection was heightened. When I stopped using my abilities and pulled away, it was like an electrical shock, leaving the other person slightly mystified. When Tony finally realized what I had done, seeing the cuts on my face that once belonged to him, his eyebrows furrowed, “how did-why did you do that?” he asked, tripping over his own words.

“I wanted to help,” I answered simply before standing up and holding my hand out for him to join me. He took it, and I pulled him up to his feet. He brushed himself off beneath the cloak that fell from his broad shoulders. For a moment, I saw Howard once more, and I realized how similar they looked but how much gentler Tony was than his father. I cleared my throat, not wanting to waste time reminiscing when I didn’t know the kind of danger Tony was in, “come. Let us find somewhere warmer,” I stated, and he nodded his head in agreement. Even though he was warm in the robes, I knew he only agreed because he was worried about me, and he would’ve attempted to give the robes back if he didn’t already know what my response would have been. We learned a lot about each other in New York, “we should make our way toward the closest town. I will carry the suit. Just follow me and try not to freeze to death.”

He shook his head as soon as I mentioned his suit, and I knew that it was the same reaction I would’ve received if I offered to carry a mother’s newborn child away from her. He was simply protective over his creations, and he had good reason to be. He worked tirelessly on them, and I saw what his obsession and perfectionist mentality had done to him. He wanted to protect the things he nearly killed himself trying to perfect, “I can carry the-” his voice trailed off as I lifted the suit into my arms, and rested it over my shoulder like Hjalmar did to me countless times before throwing me into the pond in the woods behind our cottage. I watched as Tony’s eyes widened, and he cleared his throat, “yeah, you can...carry the suit,” he murmured.

I chuckled, knowing that he seemingly forgot that I was not of this world, that our anatomy, while very similar, was different. I was no goddess, but Asgardians were physically stronger than the people of Midgard and were more durable for the most part. Closing my eyes, I felt my life connecting with the essence of the world beneath my feet, and I listened to the gentle thrumming that surrounded me. I could where it was coming from, and when I opened my eyes, I began following it with Tony close behind me. He picked up his pace and gazed up at me, “how do you even know which way we’re going? Have you been in this area before?” he asked, unsure of how I knew where I was.

I shook my head, “no, but I can feel it,” I answered, not knowing exactly how to explain it, but I could still feel his confusion. Tony was very grounded in science and logic, but there were certain things about me, certain things about the world I knew, that weren’t grounded in anything I could explain with science or with a language he would know. I didn’t even know how to comprehend some of my abilities, and there were times when I lived in fear of them because they had a tendency to show up out of the blue. I wasn’t a goddess, but I had been granted strengths and abilities that were uncommon in the lives of the average Asgardian. I continued to speak, knowing that he would remain uncertain as long as his unasked question went unanswered, “it’s a lot like a vibration. I can feel the essence of life, and I can feel it when it’s close. I just know the way to go,” I explained to the best of my ability.

I glanced over at him, and our eyes connected. I saw every vulnerability he had in that moment, and he knew I could see it, but he didn’t try to hide from me. Our connection, while strange, was deep and unbreakable. No amount of time or space could break what we had, and that all began far before he could remember, far before I would ever disclose. He gave a simple nod of his head, content with the answer I gave, even though it was vague and confusing, “I trust you,” he remarked, an intensity in his eyes that could match a dying star.

“I won’t let you down,” I promised before gazing down at the snow that covered the ground in a blanket of white. We walked in silence for a while as we both tried to wrap our minds around what was happening in our own personal lives. I knew that Tony would be too respectful of my privacy to press the question of why I was on Midgard helping him. He knew what coming back to this world meant to me, the kind of pain and distress it would cause me, so he couldn’t understand why I would come back to help him with something that wasn’t a threat on a worldwide scale, not like Loki had been in New York. I didn’t know if he was willing to talk about the events that led up to him crashing into a field of snow so far from civilization, so we walked in silence until we saw the lights radiating from a small town.

“Maybe we should look for a phone, so you can try to contact Pepper to let her know you’re safe,” I noted, making a mental note to find someone who was willing to spare their phone for Tony to use, “she must be worried sick about you.”

He cleared his throat, and I felt a shift in his energy. Glancing over at him, I saw the frown etched deeply into his face, and I knew that he was upset by my words. Before I had the chance to apologize, he spoke, “she actually left after New York,” he confessed, “she said that it was too much to handle, especially since I wasn’t willing to put my suits to rest. How could I, though, especially after seeing what the world was up against?” he asked, running a hand through his hair before returning it to the warmth beneath the robes.

I frowned, “you’ve been a hero to the world for a long time, Tony. You made the choice to become a hero, and that choice didn’t come from a place of arrogance or need for a higher level of fame. You became a hero because you have the compassion this world so desperately needs. You took the weight of the world onto your shoulders and fought on behalf of those who couldn’t fight for themselves. If my words mean anything, you should know that you more than earned the luxury of hanging up the mantle of Iron Man and living as Tony Stark,” I explained, “I’m not telling you that you need to, and I’m not telling you that she was right for leaving. Just because she left doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you anymore.”

He shook his head, “she moved on. She’s with a new guy in a new city, and she’s happy. That’s all I ever wanted for her, and I think that deep down, I knew she wouldn’t find that with me,” he stated.

My eyes immediately filled with tears as I listened to him talk about himself like there was something wrong with him. I blinked the tears away, but the ache in my heart was still there, “I really wish you could see yourself the way I see you because you’d understand just how brilliant and incredible you truly are, Tony. It hurts to hear the way you talk about yourself, like you’re not worthy of love because...you’re wrong,” I stated, shaking my head.

Then, there was silence again. All I could hear was the snowflakes falling from the sky. Some of them even clung to Tony’s long eyelashes, which I couldn’t help but notice when I glanced over at him, wanting to know if I had crossed a line with him. Feeling my gaze, he met my eyes with his once more, a light smile tugging at his lips, “so, if you aren’t down here for her, why come here for me?” he asked, questioning my reasoning with furrowed eyebrows. I knew that his confusion stemmed from my previous statements that I wouldn’t come back to Midgard unless her life was in danger or that the safety of the entire planet was on the line.

“I told Heimdall to keep an eye on certain people at all times-her, the other Avengers, and you,” I noted, feeling the disbelief within him when I mentioned him. The man never saw himself as worthy of anything, especially love or concern, “I assigned him the task of watching over you all, and he would fill me in on any changes as they presented themselves. He promised to alert me if any of your lives were in danger, and when he disclosed to me that you were in danger, I came right away,” I explained.

“So, you didn’t live up to your word,” he stated, nonchalantly, the hint of an entertained smirk forming on his lips. He was amused that he was right, as he had argued with me furiously when I promised not to come back. He told me that it was selfish and abhorrent to leave so many people who cared about me so much, and he also told me that I wouldn’t be able to stay away for long, not with the “heart of gold” he claimed I had. I didn’t believe it, though. How could I believe I was “good” or “worthy” when the favor I asked of him was so selfish, when I was poisoning everyone around me, when I was repeating the same injustice that was done to me when I wasn’t even old enough to comprehend it.

I sighed, “I couldn’t live up to my word, not with this. You were right, though, Tony. It was ignorant of me to think that I could stay away, especially from you,” I noted, glancing up at him to see that he tried to hide the color that rose to his cheeks the moment I paid him a compliment.

He cleared his throat, obviously not comfortable calling attention to the effect my words had on him in that moment. It wasn’t my intention to cause him discomfort, but perhaps I just had a tendency to do so. I could vividly remember my words of praise having the same effect on Loki, Thor, Hjalmar, Ephinea, and every Midgardian I came in contact with, including the ever stoic Natasha Romanoff. Tony glanced up at me, his brown eyes sparkling as if the galaxy resided within them, “well, I’m glad you’re here. I don’t like having to admit I need help, but it wouldn’t hurt to have an Asgardian in my corner for this one,” he noted, a slight grin tugging at his lips.

“We’re going to fix this together. You won’t face this alone, Tony; you never face anything alone,” I reminded him, knowing that he had a tendency to believe himself to be isolated, but as long as I was alive, there would never come a day he would be alone. I would be his guardian, regardless of the amount of times he tried to talk me out of risking my life for his. I had come to understand that we-as living beings-wish to preserve things that we deem better than ourselves, and Tony Stark was far better than I was.

The silence fell between us once more, and I found myself enjoying the soft crunch of snow beneath our feet. However, the sensation of the falling snowflakes left my cheeks wet and bitter cold. There was nothing quite like the sensation of his warmth invading my own, though. He drew closer and closer to me until there was little space between us, and he pushed the robe back just enough to slip his hand out from under it and grasp mine. As soon as our skin touched, I felt the uncertainty and the fear within him. He was terrified of the future, and my presence-somehow-gave him the support he so desperately needed in that trying time. His sudden firm, yet gentle, grasp of my hand made me realize the impact I could have on the life of a man who meant so much to me, and I could only hope I didn’t ruin it again.

For the remainder of our journey, I continued to carry the suit with one arm while the fingers of my opposite hand intertwined perfectly with those of the brilliant man beside me, “what has it been like?” he asked, vaguely, causing my eyebrows to furrow. I could feel what he wanted to ask me, but I was too afraid to answer him, so I resorted to confusion, “it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, and I don’t have a watcher like you do. The last time you left, I was...worried, and I haven’t seen you since. I just want to know what has gone on in your life,” he explained, his heart of gold shining through once more, as if I could possibly forget how tender he always was with me.

My heart broke as I thought of all that had happened since we’d last seen each other. No matter how terrible I felt at our last encounter, I felt impossibly worse in the aftermath of it. It was as if I tore the remainder of my heart out when we last saw each other and left it on Midgard. While it was broken and abused, I was lost without it, and with the loss of my brother and the struggles I had recently with Loki, I realized just how turbulent my life had been since I’d seen him. The last time we spoke, I was doing my best to fix the damaged pieces of myself and of my relationship with Loki. Knowing he was still alive renewed my drive to rescue him from the dark recesses of his own mind, a darkness that hadn’t been there from the beginning. Since that time, I had no opportunities to better myself or help Loki or keep the people I loved most safe. I sighed, “well…” I breathed out, not knowing how to explain everything to him. He had asked many questions when we “first” met, so he knew about Hjalmar and my past. The only thing he didn’t know about was my history with Loki.

My heart began racing in anticipation for having to open up about the complete and utter failure my life had been from the moment I left him on the rooftop in tears; however, as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, I was saved by a small and flickering light. The energy I felt was untamed, and I was caught off guard by the sudden pull to that place in particular. I pulled my hand away from his and pointed at the dim light, “look!” I exclaimed, urging Tony to take notice of our shelter for the night. I was more than grateful to have been saved from needing to talk about Hjalmar and Loki, knowing that I wouldn’t have been able to lie to Tony, not without him seeing right through me. I would’ve had no choice but to be honest with him about what I had gone through since our last encounter.

As we drew closer to the small shack, we saw it was adjacent to an equally small house that looked to be in need of some manual labor. After passing through one last clump of trees, we came to the clearing only to see the small town spread out only a short distance from the shack. I felt the vibrations becoming stronger and stronger within my body as we drew closer to our shelter for the night, and I glanced over at Tony’s face to see a look of pure relief. I knew that he had some doubts that we would manage to find our way to civilization, especially after his bad luck leading up to that point. Peeking in through the window of the house, he concluded that no one was home, but I couldn’t understand why my senses were so wrong. I could feel a powerful pull to this place, and if no one was there, it would be meaningless.

Once we broke into the shack-an easy feat when Tony had a crowbar-I stepped inside the air that was just a touch warmer than the outside and placed the suit down on the floor. As I stood back up, a pulse of fire radiated from the wound on my abdomen, causing my body to seize. Before Tony could notice, I forced myself to stand back up and push the pain as far away as possible. When I stood back up, I took in the sight of Tony sitting on a stool next to a workbench, barely lit by the light of a small lamp. He gazed around the dimly lit room, all while I gazed at him, and the vibrations became more and more powerful, almost like when I first met her.

“Freeze!” I heard the small but strong voice coming from the doorway Tony and I had just come through. Suddenly, the vibration stopped, and I felt the serenity wash over me. The boy was small and looked frail with golden hair that melted into strands of brown and green eyes, “don’t move,” he ordered, pointing the contraption in his hands at Tony.

I glanced over at my companion and noticed that he had his hands raised as a sign of surrender, and I wondered if my help was necessary against such a small opponent. Tony sighed, “You got me. Nice potato gun,” he complimented the young boy.

The small child looked up at me, and I couldn’t help but smile down at him, easing his nerves slightly. If I had been able to touch him, I could’ve calmed his nerves with a bit of focus, but I knew better than to reach out to a scared child. I wanted to help him, not traumatize him, and the situation we were in was traumatizing enough. He looked afraid as he gripped his “potato gun” that he would use for protection against us-the intruders; however, the moment I smiled at him, I watched as his fingers loosened on the barrel and trigger, and his lips curled up the slightest bit, “who are you?”

I knelt down to the floor, getting down onto his level and showing him that I wasn’t a threat. His breathing became slow and steady as he looked me over a few times, taking in the differences between myself and other people he had come into contact with, “my name is Eva, and you are?” I asked.

“Harley,” he answered politely, his green eyes flickering between mine, “why are you dressed like that?” he asked, lowering his makeshift weapon and gesturing at my armor.

I smiled at his innocent question, and I knew there was no way around it. I didn’t have to tell him I was an Asgardian, but I couldn’t lie to him either. I knew that the vibrations I had been feeling were because of the life force of the child in front of me, “where I’m from, this is what we wear to protect ourselves in battle, so when I leave home, I wear something similar to protect myself from other worthy opponents I may meet along the way,” I said, explaining it to him as thoroughly as possible without telling him outright where I was from.

His eyes continued to scan my body until they caught sight of the hilt of the sword over my shoulder, at which point I saw his eyes widen, “you’re the Mother Goddess!” he exclaimed, causing my eyebrows to furrow in confusion. I had never heard that name before, and I wondered if he had me confused with someone else. I glanced over at Tony who just gave me a simple nod of his head, letting me know that Harley was being completely honest, but I had no idea where that name came from. I wasn’t a goddess by any means of the word, so I didn’t know why I would be called that. Seeing my confusion, Harley spoke again, “you fought in New York, right?” he asked

I nodded my head, “I did,” I answered, my voice soft as I recalled some of the worst moments of my life thus far.

“And you’re one of the heroes from that day?” he asked, sweetness in his small voice.

I shook my head, “no, not a hero. I just-”

Tony’s voice from the workbench cut me off, causing both Harley and myself to switch our focus over to him, “yes, a hero,” he corrected me, his eyes connecting with Harley’s, “she nearly gave her life to protect Earth, and the name Earth gave her was fitting,” he said, his eyes flickering over to me, “you have a bit of a reputation here on Earth ever since New York. I was going to explain it to you tonight before we ran into anyone who recognized you, but I wasn’t anticipating any visitors,” he explained, shrugging his shoulders.

“Neither was I,” Harley interjected before glancing back over at me, “the people here gave you that name. We didn’t know who you were, so we just started calling you the Mother Goddess. Some people just call you Mother.”

“Where did it come from?” I asked, wondering why people chose that nickname over all others that may have crossed their minds.

Tony interjected again, and my eyes met his, “because you loved this world so much that you were willing to sacrifice yourself for every living being on it. You were the mother to the population of the world that day, loving every person so unconditionally and so instantaneously. The love the people had for you pulled the population of the Earth together. You saved so many people in New York, even after you had nearly died. You sifted through the rubble to rescue the survivors of buildings that had collapsed, and you stood against the danger to protect us all. You were a mother to the world, and the people here will never forget that,” he explained before the room around me began spinning.

I tried to focus my eyes on him but failed, the feeling being similar to the one I experienced when I was stabbed by Loki in New York. The wound on my abdomen began pulsing, and the pain made me want to scream, but still, I wouldn’t worry Tony with my problems, not when I was on Midgard to assist him with his own. As Harley spoke directly to Tony, my ears began ringing. It felt like that was it, like this was the end. As my chest began to tighten, I hurried out of the shack, mumbling something I couldn’t even hear to Tony. I hoped it was coherent enough to let him know that I just needed some air. If I was going to die, I wanted to do so alone to keep from hurting those who cared about me, and Tony was one of those people. He didn’t deserve to watch me die, not when he had been one of the few people who made me want to live.

Using all the strength I had, I stumbled out of the shack and out into the woods once more before falling to my knees. My body couldn’t hold itself upright as the pain flashed through my body over and over again, as if the wound itself was trying to light my very soul on fire. I fell to the forest floor, grunting in pain through gritted teeth. My eyes squeezed shut as I tried to will away the pain, desperately pulling as much air into my lungs as possible, wanting to taste the sweetness of life before the pain took me completely. The wound grew warmer and warmer, my skin feeling as if it was decaying around it. Nothing could have prepared me for the pain-nothing.

“Take them...please,” I heard a familiar voice in the distance, and just as quickly as the pain and panic arrived, it disappeared completely. When I opened my eyes, I gazed upon the scene in front of me. I was in the throne room on Asgard. For a moment, I wondered what was happening. Was I dead? Was I dreaming? I gazed out at the scene before me. Odin was seated on the throne, younger than he was when I knew him, but still beyond his prime. Frigga stood beside his throne, graceful as always. My father-Aaldir-stood on the other side of Odin as one of the Allfather’s most trusted advisors. Father looked much younger without a single grey hair upon his head. Before them stood a woman with her back turned to me. Black hair fell in wild waves across her back, and I sensed a familiarity in her even though I couldn’t see her face. It felt as if I knew her, like I could feel her very presence in my soul even in the vision. She sniffled, and my mind twisted as I remembered the dream I had, running through the the field.

“Why should I do anything you ask of me?” Odin barked out, using his one good eye to glare at the woman before him. I watched as Frigga winced at the harshness in his tone-something she often did when I confronted him about Loki.

The mystery woman’s body shook, and I sensed her fear, “I have nowhere else to take them. You are my last hope,” she cried, and I felt my heart twisting in pain for the poor woman. A soft cry confirmed what I had been thinking, what I hoped had not been true. A child. She was asking for him to take in her children, and I had a feeling I knew who it was, but I was too terrified to even say her name. She was the mistress of the night, the collector of life, the absence of light. I didn’t know why I was having these visions or if they were anything for me to think about further.

“Do you know what you’re asking of me?” Odin hissed, causing my body to seize. While I knew this was only in my mind, it was becoming harder and harder every moment not to lose myself. I stood up from the ground and walked toward the throne. My footsteps were so soft against the hard floor, they made no sound in the throne room.

“To help two defenseless children,” the woman answered, strength in her soft voice. Every word she spoke made a wave of serenity wash over me. I was not afraid, nor did I tremble like I usually did when Thor would tell me the tales about the mysterious entity, “do not think I’m asking this favor for myself; I am asking this for their sake. They will only know pain and suffering should they stay with me-they will only know fear.”

Odin stood from his throne but didn’t step down the stairs to be on level ground with her. I frowned as he spoke, “you come to Asgard, burden my throne room with your filth, and ask me to take the children of a demon like you. You ask me to humiliate my home and my people, to tarnish my name-”

She cut him off, her voice just as powerful as before. She was not a weak-willed woman, and I could tell that just from hearing her speak. Looking at it from the outside, it reminded me of how I spoke to Odin a few times in the past, especially when he refused to show Loki any mercy. While I felt her heart filling with sorrow and a diminishing hope, she didn’t falter as she fought on behalf of the children in her arms, “I ask you to protect children who belong here. A child is not responsible for the mistakes of their parent. They should not be held accountable for either of our decisions,” she explained as I continued to close the space between us, desperately wanting to see her face to confirm her identity.

Odin grumbled, his beard failing to conceal his frown of disdain. As he turned his back on the woman and sat back down on the golden throne, he let out a deep breath, “if you are so eager to pass them off into my care, you should know that I will treat them with little dignity. The offspring of Death and a serpent could never be trusted, let alone welcomed, in my home,” he hissed, his voice low and powerful. My eyes widened as he confirmed her identity. I heard the familiar sharpness in his tone, but he had no problem cutting her down-a mother only wishing to save her children, “leave them there on the floor, and I will have my guards take them to the dungeons where they will spend the rest of their lives.”

Just as Death began crying once more, burying her face into the cloth that swaddled her infant children, Frigga stepped forward, glaring at her husband, “you will do no such thing!” she admonished him, her voice piercing through the room as she stepped down to the floor Death stood upon, drawing nearer and nearer to to heartbroken intruder. Odin could do nothing but sit in a stunned silence as Frigga showed mercy to the same woman he had just been so cruel to, “bring them to me,” Frigga instructed her in a calm voice.

Death obeyed the commands of the queen, walking slowly over to her, and I waited with baited breath as she whispered words of love into the ear of the first child before placing him or her gently into the open arms of Frigga, the woman I would come to know as my mother. She was the closest I had to one growing up, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. The first child was indistinguishable, beautiful but strong with piercing green eyes like the colors of spring all in one. Then, Death held up the second child, a girl with eyes more brilliant than emeralds, a green that matched the colors of spring. Her eyes were without imperfections. No other colors dared to taint the purity of that green. It was the same baby from the first vision I had of Death, but that time, I had the cold feeling I knew who it was.

My heart pounded in my chest as the entity of Death raised the child to her face, nuzzling her cheek against the smooth skin of the baby. I heard sniffles coming from Death, a woman I always believed was too cold to feel any emotion at all. She was the keeper of the dead, the bringer of the end-everything I was against. While I understood that death was a part of life, that all things would someday be reborn, she represented the absence of life itself. However, in that moment, seeing her cradling the small child so lovingly, I realized that I had been wrong, that every living being was capable of some form of emotion. Her cries broke my heart, as did it break the heart of the child in her arms, and I watched as the baby cried,

“Goodbye, Eva,” Death whispered, and my breaking heart stopped. My breath hitched in my throat as my greatest fear was just confirmed. It hadn’t been my own delusion that caused me to see the reflection of the child’s eyes in my own, the color mirroring that of mine. It wasn’t my mind playing cruel tricks on me when the heart of the child broke the same way mine did. Was it real, though? Was the vision just a part of the madness that arose due to the wound that left me feverish and disoriented? Was she...where I belonged? I couldn’t bring myself to think of such a thing. I valued life above all else, so it was impossible for Death to be...mine. She spoke again before my mind could fall further into the delirium, “I love you. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever given. Loving you was my greatest weakness, and leaving you is my greatest failure,” she whispered, her voice low and soothing as she rubbed the back of the small child.

“Leaving her here to protect her is the best thing you can do as a mother. Go. I will see to it that your children are cared for,” Frigga promised as she took the infant into her arms, cradling both of them the same way Death had been. Aaldir stepped down from the side of the throne and took the little girl...me. He cradled her close and closed the space between himself and the cosmic entity each one of us would meet at some point. Reaching out to her, he caressed her cheek, and just as he always did with me, he wiped her tears away with the pad of his thumb.

As I drew closer to her, standing directly behind her, I wished to wrap her in my arms. Even if this was all a hallucination with no meaning, her pain threatened to tear my very soul apart. As I felt the tears rising to my eyes, her soft voice began singing that familiar melody, the one I could remember all throughout my childhood but didn’t know where it came from, “I wish to stop time and stare at the stars, for just one more moment with you. Now stars shine brightest wherever you are, and they will shine on me no more,” she sang before turning around. Black eyes met mine, and black tears continued to stream down her cheeks. Her hand came up to caress my cheek, cold fingers wiping away the tears from my eyes. Just as I leaned into her touch, desperate for that connection, I found myself back in the woods.

Alone again.

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