#which i have not looked for and so cannot help with

[kisnin]

You'll probably be upset about this, OP (I'm very sorry). But soon paramilitary shitwads in swastikas are gonna start being braver than they are now. They will bring guns, body armor, and all manner of gadgets that they think are tactical.

The chances of you needing to use lethal force to protect yourself have risen. While all first line protection you bring should be NON LETHAL, the other side will not be so kind.

Therefore i would recommend investing in a firearm or more-lethal equipment, especially you who do protest security.

I suggest something compact and safe, reliable, and also if need be, easy to toss away or hide somewhere.

For a caliber you should look for, 9mm is your best bet. It's cheap, easy to find in stores, and harder to track via purchase (not by much but you know the shit bags might give up if you use it)

Aside from this, some important things to know:

-The basic rules of gun safety, because unlike the shitwads, we are intelligent and willing to excercise a use of lethal force

They are:

Treat all guns as if they are loaded. Always assume that a gun is loaded even if you think it is unloaded. Every time a gun is handled for any reason, check to see that it is unloaded. If you are unable to check a gun to see if it is unloaded, leave it alone and seek help from someone more knowledgeable about guns.

Keep the gun pointed in the safest possible direction. Always be aware of where a gun is pointing. A "safe direction" is one where an accidental discharge of the gun will not cause injury or damage. Only point a gun at an object you intend to shoot. Never point a gun toward yourself or another person.

Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot. Always keep your finger off the trigger and outside the trigger guard until you are ready to shoot. Even though it may be comfortable to rest your finger on the trigger, it also is unsafe. If you are moving around with your finger on the trigger and stumble or fall, you could inadvertently pull the trigger. Sudden loud noises or movements can result in an accidental discharge because there is a natural tendency to tighten the muscles when startled. The trigger is for firing and the handle is for handling.

Know your target, its surroundings and beyond. Check that the areas in front of and behind your target are safe before shooting. Be aware that if the bullet misses or completely passes through the target, it could strike a person or object. Identify the target and make sure it is what you intend to shoot. If you are in doubt, DON'T SHOOT! Never fire at a target that is only a movement, color, sound or unidentifiable shape. Be aware of all the people around you before you shoot.

Know how to properly operate your gun. It is important to become thoroughly familiar with your gun. You should know its mechanical characteristics including how to properly load, unload and clear a malfunction from your gun. Obviously, not all guns are mechanically the same. Never assume that what applies to one make or model is exactly applicable to another. You should direct questions regarding the operation of your gun to your firearms dealer, or contact the manufacturer directly.

Store your gun safely and securely to prevent unauthorized use. Guns and ammunition should be stored separately. When the gun is not in your hands, you must still think of safety. Use a California-approved firearms safety device on the gun, such as a trigger lock or cable lock, so it cannot be fired. Store it unloaded in a locked container, such as a California-approved lock box or a gun safe. Store your gun in a different location than the ammunition. For maximum safety you should use both a locking device and a storage container.

(Copied from Cali's Firearms safety page, which includes other useful tips)

-Be aware of when it's time to ditch non-lethal protection. Unfortunately, I cant' give much advice, but know in most states that if you are threatened with violence and you feel you life or others is in danger, you have the right to lethal defense. The shitwads have used this in their favor for decades, so if someone takes you to court over it, cite that.

-Holding a gun is fuckin scary, but know it may save your life, because the shitwads will not care if they end yours. (also to clarify shitwad is my new term for police, nazis, facists, and other such assholes)

-PRACTICE WITH YOUR FIREARM

-Do your best to never draw it, but know you may not have a choice.

Again, my sincerest apologies to OP for taking guns on their helpful post, but i think the world is to dangerous, and our opponents do not care who's life they end. That is the difference between them and us.

Adding an edit to this rq a few minutes after post that I didnt think of:

Straight White Men who are allies of The Resistance, you guys are the safest bet to carry, so take advantage of that. The cops will persecute you less for carrying and you can get away with some more impressive hardware if need be.

ICE raids are happening.

Any immigrants, no matter how long you have been a citizen of the USA, is at risk of being deported either out of the country as a whole or into what are basically concentration camps. Raids starting in Chicago, Illinois. and spreading to other major cities with high POC and Hispanic populations. The US Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and Customs and Border Patrol (CBP) have started raiding homes and families in California.

There are no "protected locations" as of January 21, 2025. Hospitals, schools, and churches are all at risk of being raided, where before these places were deemed safe and off limits to raids.

When it comes to spotting an ICE agent, look for these:

Weirdly neat/well kept hair (shaved heads, side parts, military burs for men; low buns, high ponytails, close cropped bobs for women)

Oversized jacket (long and bulky outerwear makes it easier to hide tools/equipment without being suspicious)

Both hands in pockets

Many undercover agents/cops buy cheap plain clothes off the racks so they aren’t seen in their own clothes. This can make their outfit seem awkward

Sweatshirts with the hood up

Sports apparel (warm up jacket, sweats, etc) with non-sports clothes (jeans, cargo shorts)

Cargo pants/shorts (usually full of items like their badge, flashlight, taser, pepper spray, backup handcuffs, zip ties)

Military or hiking style boots, sometimes chunky sneakers (extra points if none of it matches anything in their outfit)

Outline of a gun in their pants/shirt (easy to see when bending, leaning, or raising arms) (NO NOT SAY ANYTHING)

Overly friendly

Overly inquisitive

“How old are you” and “what do you know about this happening” are both red flags, along with generally odd and personal questions

Don’t fit in

Mismatched pairs in public spaces (usually cops do these things in pairs. They don’t talk to each other or acknowledge each other much, if at all)

DO NOT SAY ANYTHING UNTIL YOU ARE 100% SURE

YOUR BEST BET IS NOT TO SAY ANYTHING UNTIL THE SUSPECT STARTS ACTING OFF AND GETTING PUSHY

COPS ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE UNDERCOVER

COPS CAN AND WILL LIE TO YOU

SCREAM “LA MIGRA” AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS

For protesting:

N95 masks

Respirator/gas mask if you have access to one

Water water water water water (I hate to say it, but disposable one use bottles are best here. If it comes to it, you need to be able to drop and run.) Use for flushing wounds, flushing eyes of tear gas, and of course drinking.

Snacks! You'll be doing a lot of walking and/or running and need to keep that energy up. Trail mix, dried fruit, nuts, granola bars, crackers, jerky/meat sticks, fruit snacks, candy, etc. Think of it like packing your lunchbox for a field trip.

Eyedrops (teargas is a bitch)

Goggles (I bring my old snowboarding goggles)

If you are wearing a t-shirt or have exposed skin, put on fake/temporary tattoos. If you are brought into something and they say you were there, showing a picture of you with the tattoos, show them where that tattoo would be and how there’s nothing there. How would you get rid of a giant flower on your forearm in 2 days anyways?

Wigs fall under the same category as tattoos. The person they're claiming to be you has a blonde bob and you have green hair past your shoulders.It also makes it possible to go with a completely different color without the use of hair dye. This means if they try to arrest you later and try to prove it was you by taking your hair and testing for dye, it won't come back the way they hope. (Thank you @violetrosepetals for this addition!)

Hide your hair. I tuck my hair into my beanie since it’s short. If you have longer hair, try to do the same or tuck it into your shirt. Balaclavas are also a good choice, as they cover both your face and hair.

Power bank

Chargers

Helmet. Any is fine, my personal choice is a skating helmet since they’re rounder and can take more damage, but tactical is also good

Hand sanitizer

Gloves with hard knuckles (tactical gloves). These pack a good punch even if you don't have the correct form. Don't have those? Wrist guards for roller skating/skateboarding work kinda like that too. More of a slapping motion, but still hurt like a bitch. Extra points if they're all scuffed up from use and falls.

Bandanas. Somebody might need one for their face or hair, maybe you need to get dirt off somebody’s face, maybe somebody got injured. They’re great for anything and everything.

Cash (try to stick to cash, your card can be tracked)

Medications if you take them. If you get arrested or happen to somehow be away for longer than expected after the protest, it’s always good to have emergency meds

FIRST AID ALL THE FIRST AID (Tourniquet, Quikclot, chest seal, trauma shears, gauze, bandages, duct tape, and all the usual stuff you’d have in there)

Good shoes. Boots and sneakers are your best choices. Not heels, not platforms, not sandals. Good boots or shoes that won't come off your feet too easily when you run. Steel toed shoes are a great option. Your toes won't be squashed, but also it'll hurt someone a lot more if you start kicking.

Spare socks. Trust me. You can use them to stop bleeding if it comes to it, but also you can put rocks in there and boom weapon. Also if the socks you're wearing get wet.

As much covering clothing as you can handle. Plain jeans, plain hoodie, plain t-shirt, keep yourself as anonymous as possible. Black and baggy is best.

Photocopy of your ID, not your real one.

Sunscreen!

Make sure your clothes have pockets, even if you have a bag. You want everything to be easily accessible.

Do not wear contact lenses. If tear gas is used, that will make everything so much worse. Wear your glasses or go blind. If you have overly unique or identifiable frames, goggles are your friend here. Get some goggles that will fit over your frames, preferably ones that are tinted.

If you use mobility aids, cover defining features. Logos, brand names, colors, stickers, all of it. Take some old plain t-shirt and tie it around your wheelchair’s backrest. Wrap your wheelchair frame in cling wrap, then duct tape, or plain black self adhering medical tape. Cover stickers on your cane or crutches the same way. Electric chair? You have a little more work, but you can do it. Wrap it up. Same idea. Walker? Same thing. Cover. It. All.

If you are bringing a bag, make sure that bag is as plain as possible. No pins. No patches. No keychains. Except maybe a pride flag so people know which team you're playing on.

Scarf or keffiyeh if you have one. They have many uses!

Write a reliable phone number (of someone who is not at the protest with you) on your body. On the off chance you get arrested, that is your emergency contact.

Pocket knife.

Pepper spray/mace/bear spray

if you get tear gassed, shake around first before using water. Most tear gas is more of a powder and water has a high likelihood of just spreading it around. (Thank you @actually-a-bread-loaf for this addition!)

Tennis rackets also work wonderfully for chucking tear gas canisters back at those throwing them. Anybody asks, you're going out to play tennis with friends later. Baseball bats also work! (Thank you @azul-nova-24 for this addition!)

Anything you can throw. Soup for my family.

IF YOU CAN, LEAVE YOUR PHONE AT HOME

IF YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT WITH YOU, TURN OFF LOCATION SERVICES ON ALL APPS AND TURN OFF BIOMETRICS (FACE ID AND FINGERPRINT) SO YOU CAN ONLY UNLOCK YOUR PHONE WITH YOUR PASSWORD

COPS CAN FORCE YOU TO OPEN YOUR PHONE WITH YOUR FINGERPRINT OR FACE ID

MAKE SURE SOMEBODY KNOWS GENERALLY WHERE YOU ARE

If you see a potential or active raid, take pictures and note the time and location. Post online if you can, as well.

You have the right to remain silent. State that you wish to remain silent. Avoid giving information about anybody's immigration status. You have the right to refuse to sign anything before speaking to an attorney. You have the right to refuse searches of your car, your home, and yourself. Schools do not collect a child's immigration status.

I do not want to scare anybody, but this is what life is right now. That man does not care how long you have been a citizen of this country. If you are not a white, cisgender, heterosexual, Christian male, you are seen as less than by men in power. You are not less than. You are a threat to them, and they are scared. Keep it that way.

Even if you're not currently protesting, it's good to know this just in case. Things are happening very quickly, and there is a very high chance of it changing very quickly within the next four years.

Here's the link to my post on what to bring in terms of first aid.

If you cannot attend protests, that’s fine. Do what’s best for you. Even just reposting information helps.

This is an updated version of this post,

Updated January 27, 2025.

[queermystic]

Emergency Fundraiser

[Remaking because the last one got a bit long and lot complicated]

I'm a disabled enby and I take care of my elderly mother. We're Homeless and unexpected expenses[aka my financially abusive sister] wiped out a huge chunk of her SSI which is our only stable income at the moment.

This left us in an unsafe situation that I was able to get us out of but unfortunately it took another big chunk of money to get us safe. I've got us in a room at Motel 6 but I was only able to pay for one night.

If someone could send me just $80 I'd be able to pay for another night.

But every little bit adds up and if like four people sent me $20 or 8 sent $10.

We're both disabled and cannot be on the streets, she can barely walk from arthritis and has severe chronic bronchitis and I have asthma, arthritis and an autoimmune disorder.

I'm looking for work and waiting for back pay from babysitting my sisters kids but I have no income of my own right now. I really hate having to depend on charity but right now it's my only hope.

Please help if you can, and please reblog if you cant so maybe someone who can help will see this.

PayPal / Ko-Fi

[icanseethefuture333]

Asteroid Born (13954) 🍏🍎: “Why the apple doesn’t fall so far from the tree 🍄‍🟫”

How you were conceived + Why were you born into this lifetime 🏡♥️🥧

Aries Born / Born in the 1st House:

You are very courageous and bold when it comes to your self expression. Your parents might have considered you as a “busy body” and always had to keep you entertained as an infant. Probably one of those babies who would make funny expressions when they were mad. During pregnancy, your mother could have dealt with a lot of kicking, heartburns, and/or tummy aches. Childbirth as well may have hurt or been difficult due to you having a larger head as a baby (oops!). I see the parents being relatively active during pregnancy, perhaps your parents went to the gym or played sports still. You were born into this world to discover your unique individuality and coming to terms with your identity. Some of you must learn how to embrace all parts of yourself whether that is your physical appearance, sexuality, or personality. Were you raised to feel shame or had to hide some parts of yourself? How can you approach these factors in everyday life? Practicing self validation instead of seeking it from an outside source would be helpful. Focus on establishing a routine of self love and confidence in everyday life, this will attract the most success. Engaging in exercise activities for children such as dodgeball, double dutch, or hopscotch could help you reconnect to your inner child.

Taurus Born / Born in the 2nd house:

Ahhh the spoiled babies. You guys had it all when you were born. Very lavish and comfy childbirth. Your mothers could have gained a lot of weight and ate very yummy foods during pregnancy. Refined palettes with the exception of late snacks and cheeses (I bet these moms would ask people to have a glass of wine for them lol). Your mother could have been feeling very lazy and lethargic, very much so a couch potato. I also see them receiving compliments on how beautiful they look pregnant. I even see the dads gaining weight and getting a dad bod out of support for the mom lol. It is likely you were sensitive to touch when you were born, needing a security blanket or something soft to make you feel safe and protected. Your purpose in life is to understand that money is a wonderful tool but it cannot solve all of your problems. You have to reflect on your values and how you can provide a secure and stable home to yourself. It also important to realize what you are prioritizing in life. Do you have a follow a diet? Are you putting others before your own needs? Do you want to be successful in life but are not implementing healthy habits into your routine? Write a list of goals that you would like to accomplish and figure out methods to make these things come to life, while also keeping your mind stimulated so you won’t fall back in laziness and self sabotaging habits.

Gemini Born / Born in the 3rd House:

Yappers! These babies learned to speak at a few months old. It is likely they were very vocal as infants and could express themselves very easily. Your parents could have had a duality to themselves, which may have resulted in uneasiness or not sure which side of them you were seeing that day. I also interpret this as having parents that switched roles or don’t follow gender stereotypes (E.G: stay at home dad / working mom or having queer parents, etc). You may also have a twin! During pregnancy, your mother could have had many mood swings or experienced a lot of anxiety. I also see this as experiencing butterflies and talking a lot out of nervousness. Their conversations were engaging and interesting. Your parents could have even spoken to you while you were still in your mother’s tummy or played music for you to hear. In this lifetime, you were tasked with developing a community. Some of you are very smart but have difficulty forming connections with others or you are so comfortable speaking your mind that you don’t realize it can come off as blunt at times. Listen, we know you’re intelligent but sometimes you need to hear wisdom from other people in order grow in certain areas. If you have a sibling, you can rely on that bond with them to seek advice, they can help you understand a situation better. Since you have a dynamic personality, you can use your gift to communicate with individuals with different identities.

Cancer Born / Born in the 4th house:

The need to retreat and be at home is a prominent theme here. During pregnancy, your mother could have needed time alone or preferred to stay in the comfort of their home. Your parents could have prioritized privacy and shied away from being around new people besides family members. The childbirth was an intimate and emotional moment for your parents. Your birth could have been at home as well. Whoever was considered family was also in the room when you were born. As an infant you may have needed more physical touch and cried consistently. These babies are likely to be at the hip or maybe even slept in the same room as their parents. There is a strong attachment to your family. In this lifetime you are meant to discover your ancestral lineage and establish a strong connection with relatives. Parenthood could be significant in your life as well if you choose to have children. You are meant to act as a nurturing figure in other people's lives. If you are not close with your family, then it is likely you need to understand what family means to you. Sometimes family can be our friends, pets, or our partner, whichever you decide - there is no right or wrong way to love someone.

Leo Born / Born in the 5th house:

The star of the family. I'm seeing this placement as having social media parents or your mom going viral for pregnancy vlogs. Your birth could have been very talked about or you were adored by family for being popular or cute as a baby. Maybe some of you even did commercials or modeled when you were really young, I also see this apply to your parents. Your parents could have felt even more creative during pregnancy, like maybe your mother painted, sung, or danced more. I also see this as a surprise baby or the way you were conceived was considered a blessing. For some of you, your parents could have been trying for a baby and were so excited to finally have you. There is a lot of focus on joy and celebration. Some of you had parents who threw a gender reveal party or had a big baby shower. You were born into this world to play, I feel that this could be difficult for this placement, since the world can bring us down at times but your energy is whats needed. You need to express yourself and let go of the worries that is holding you back. Have fun, play games, be silly, and just do whatever hobbies that allows you to be be free. I also see that working with children or interacting with the children in your family will increase your happiness. Lastly, take a lighthearted approach to love, enjoy the wonders of romance without the over complications of it.

Virgo Born / Born in the 6th house:

Health was an important factor to your parents when it came to conceiving a child. Perhaps one of your parents was infertile? Or suffered from some kind of illness that made the pregnancy difficult. Your mother could have been more prone to morning sickness such as vomiting or nausea. I also see that they had a routine, they could have had to balance work while also being pregnant. Animals were significant as well. So your parents possibly turned to a pet for comfort or realized they were pregnant because of a pet. For some of you, your mother could have been the type to clean before giving birth. Something about cleaning or being tidy to feel more prepared. As a baby, you could have sneezed a lot or gotten colds. Your immune system was often compromised and this concerned your parents. You could have had your immunization shots early on. This is something your parents were not going to argue about lol. In this lifetime, you need to take care of all aspects of your health - physical, mental, and emotional health. You also need a routine, you can be disorganized at times, and require a set system to keep you on the right track. Also romanticizing the little things would help you appreciate life. You could often overlook what's right in front of you and disregard living in the moment, you have so much abundance right in front of you. Having plants or keeping a pet would help provide a safe space. Also engaging in light exercise, offering to be of service to people, and meditation will ease your anxiety.

Libra Born / Born in the 7th house:

Made with love lol. Your parents were very much so enamored with each other when you were conceived. Its giving "I know their parents high five every time they see what they made". You could have been considered a very beautiful baby or received a lot of compliments from people. Your parents as well had a nice maternity shoot. Your mother was very radiant and glowing, probably had rosy cheeks and everything. You may look to your parents for when you need an example on love and what to look for in relationships. Your parents saw each other as equals or followed traditional roles. Some of you could also have parents who work in law so they could care a lot about appearances and maintaining a good image. It is important that you learn the difference between love and superficial attraction. You are adored by many but because of that adoration it could potentially lead you to not go past a surface level. Share the parts of yourself that is most beautiful, such as your kindness, and fairness towards others. The way you treat people makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Your relationship with others as well as yourself is important to your self development. Working in business or giving back to your support system could give you a new perspective.

Scorpio Born / Born in the 8th house:

This placement has an interesting aura to it. Some of these babies could be an only child or something about the way they were born was transformative. It is possible a family member died before or after you were born, there had to be a loss before you could be conceived. Your mother could have felt that childbirth was traumatic and could of put her in a state of shock, or even dealt with a near death experience. The overall experience of pregnancy was very intense for your parents. It was definite that you would be the last baby to be born because of such factors. You could have also been given an inheritance or were indebted to someone or something. It is possible that you were next in line such as an heir to a family business or lived in a home that passed down for many generations. There might have been paranormal activities when you were born or you were like those babies that would laugh randomly when nothing was there, possibly seeing spirits. Being accepting of change will make things easier in your life. It is likely that you resist transformation due to how deeply you feel your emotions, it can be triggering and exhausting. Try to have a positive outlook on the changes of your life and realize the blessings in the lessons you have experienced. Sex could be a healing factor in your life or it is a way to find pleasure in engaging with your senses.

Sagittarius Born / Born in the 9th house:

It is likely that these babies were born while their parents were traveling or they even could have been adopted. Your mother was likely traveling when she gave birth to you or had to give birth in public. For some of you, your mother was pregnant as she went to college or often went to church. Your parents were very wise and philosophical. There could have been a midwife or doula present during your birth. You may also be of a diverse background, so you may have lived in different places as infant or was exposed to different identities. I also interpret this as possibly having older parents or your parents have an old soul. You are an intelligent person. It is time for you to practice the wisdom in everyday life. You are philosophical, wise, and multi-cultured but you lack in practicing what you preach. You have to be open minded and optimistic when it comes to learning new things. Traveling, reading philosophy, praying to spirit or a deity, or having in depth conversations with people would provide clarity in your life. You need to experience spiritual refreshment in order to continue to feel peace. Study more!!! The answers you seek is in the knowledge that you already have. You are missing out on great opportunities when you choose not to use your resources.

Capricorn Born / Born in the 10th house:

You may come from a prestigious family or they are known for having a reputable reputation. Your parents could work for a well known company and have a higher position. Very business savvy individuals. Your mother could have worked despite being pregnant and had to face discrimination for it, or I see her taking a comfortable maternity leave thanks to the other parent being the financial provider. Your father could be someone who is strict or has high expectations as well. As a baby, you were self sufficient and independent. You did not require as much attentive care as other babies did. Although, this may have affected your attachment style. You could be avoidant when it comes to expressing emotions and when it comes to difficult feelings you focus on work instead. You were meant to be the boss in this lifetime. Your work ethic comes from your genetics. You have the drive and motivation that many people don’t have. It is important that you learn to follow your intuition and realize that you need to also seek what provides emotional fulfillment. You are responsible and dedicated to those around you as well as your career. Make sure to not overly sacrifice your well being for the sake of others. It is okay to take breaks and focus on your own happiness. Being more grounded with reality and your emotions is necessary for your self development and creating discipline.

Aquarius Born / Born in the 11th house:

The way these babies were conceived could be non-traditional. Your parents could have had a one night stand or had sex after only knowing each other for a weeks (or even months). Definitely an unexpected child or you were not planned. Your mother would have weird cravings or eat odd food combinations. Her personality was also deemed as quirky or her behavior seemed peculiar. Your mother also could have dressed differently or had unique maternity clothes. Your parents’ social life could have boomed after having children, making connections with family, or met new friends. Some of you could have parents who are well known on the internet. These babies have the potential of being internet stars or memes. Growing up, you may have felt ostracized and did not feel welcome in most places. Your goal in life is to learn how to rebel again the norm and embrace being unique by tapping into your individuality. Also learning how to make friends or establishing connections with others, even if it seems difficult. You were meant to have a social circle that will be there to teach you wisdom and give you guidance when needed. The longevity of these friendships is not what’s important but the lessons that comes with them. Once you are able to accept yourself and all the perks that comes with it, you will be able to reach better opportunities. Using technology as a tool could assist you with your goals.

Pisces Born / Born in the 12th house:

Childbirth could have been a spiritual experience for your mother. It is likely she already knew she would be pregnant before she even realized. Your parents are very intuitive, they even had dreams about you before you were born. When your mother was pregnant, she felt very emotional and in tune with what you were feeling. I believe these parents would go to Lamaze together or some sort of meditative exercise to make sure that the birth was at least peaceful and safe. Some of you had a water birth or were born near watery places such as the ocean, a pool, etc. A doula or midwife was likely to be present as well. As a child, you were very dreamy and creative. You are very expressive and have a great imagination. You were blessed in this lifetime with psychic abilities or great empathy. You are able to read the room and give people the safe space that they need. Your energy is very comforting and serene. I believe because of your sensitive nature it is likely for you to fall in codependent relationships. It is crucial that you learn to set boundaries and separate fantasy from reality. Take your time to get to know people before you see the “best” in them. You also need to realize you are not a victim but a person who has overcome hardships. Whatever you went through in the past does not apply to you now, you have the freedom of choice, and you get to decide who you want to be. Use your intuition and manifest your goals by connecting with your higher self. Do not allow people, especially partners to “manic pixie dream girl” you.

[currrsy]

THE OTHER SIDE

This post is about my OC's and the story about them! I have two settings, and this one is about "The Other Side", a horror drama about Floyd Bennett. CHARACTERS:

PLOT: In 2005, the main character, Floyd Bennett, a horror writer, moves to a quiet town called name and settles into a new big house. In the past, Floyd experienced a tragedy — he lost his wife and daughter in a fire. After several years, Bennett decides to start a new life by moving to a different place and fully immersing himself in writing.

After moving, Floyd explores the town and meets the local sheriff's assistant, David Sanders, at a store. David gives him his phone number in case Floyd needs help.

A few days later, Floyd begins to feel worse living in the new house: his migraines worsen, he often has nosebleeds, and he hears various sounds, as if someone is walking around the house, etc.

One day, he encounters a woman named Samantha near the yard, who tries to warn Floyd to leave the house. Bennett doesn’t listen to her, and Samantha leaves, saying that he is making a big mistake. Over time, Floyd's health deteriorates significantly. In the bathroom mirror, he notices the silhouette of a man with a slit throat.

Floyd perceives this as a hallucination and decides to just go to sleep. He dreams of a nightmare in which he gets a hand injury. Waking up in the middle of the night, he discovers that the injury is real. He decides to call David in the middle of the night to check the house. Upon arrival, David listens to everything that has happened to Floyd. He concludes that the writer's imagination has simply run wild and that he needs to rest. As David prepares to leave, he finds he cannot open the front door. Other doors are also locked, and the lights in the house stop working. Something does not want to let them out. Eventually, they encounter the man Floyd saw in the mirror; a long-haired man with a slit throat is approaching them. The walls of the house bleed, and objects shake and fall. In an instant, everything stops, and complete darkness descends.

When they come to, the men notice that the house has changed significantly: there are more rooms, the corridors have deformed and elongated. In simple terms, everything looks like a nightmare. They cannot find a way out, so they are left to explore the strange place (the other side) in hopes of finding another exit.

[bakedbakermom]

Tell me: do you think child sexual abuse material (CSAM, the preferred term) is illegal because it makes you feel icky to look at, or because it is a record of the real actual abuse of real actual victims, which is then perpetuated each time the images are shared? CSAM, by definition, must be real images of real people. Fanfic, no matter how well-imagined, is make-believe and does not in itself cause harm.

Frankly it is insulting to the real victims of child sexual exploitation (CSE) to equate random stories on the internet to the pain they have suffered, as if your squick at fiction is in any way the same thing.

"But what if an actual pedophile reads it and goes out and hurts someone?"

If someone looks at the painting of The Beheading of Saint John the Baptist and goes and cuts someone's head off, is that Caravaggio's fault, four centuries after the fact? Or is it perhaps the fault of the person who, upon seeing a depiction of a brutal act of violence, thought that looked like a good funny time?

If a person is tempted to go out and do harmful acts because of something they read on the internet, it is not the fault of the thing they read nor the person who wrote it. We are individuals with free will. We cannot foresee and are not responsible for the actions of complete strangers.

"But what if a victim of CSE reads it and is triggered?"

That does happen, and it is terrible, but that is also why Ao3 has such an incredible filtering system and why your browser has a back button. If you are walking through an art museum and see a painting that triggers you, is it the fault of the museum for having it there? The fault of the artist who made it? No. Is someone going to hold you by the shoulders and make you look? No. (And if they do, that's called assault, and it's still not the fault of the museum or the artist.)

You are responsible for the things you see and read online; just like you can and should walk away from a piece of art that disturbs you, you are responsible for filtering your fics and looking away from any you accidentally stumble across that trigger you. (Without leaving horrible comments for the author or reporting it as CSAM - which by definition, it is not, and such reports clog up the system so that it is harder for actual CSAM to be found, removed, and investigated.)

I have known victims of CSE, and I have known people in the tech sphere who work to remove CSAM from the internet. Did you know that there was a department at [company you've definitely heard of], fully devoted to identifying CSAM as it moved between users, reporting it to the FBI, and assisting in the investigations? Most people in that department burned out after about 2 years because they just couldn't stand looking at these torturous images day after day, and reading through the correspondence of those who make and share it.

There was a giant bell in the middle of their workspace. Every time a pedophile was convicted based on their evidence, the person working the case would ring the bell as the rest of the department cheered and cried. Because they had helped a real person, because they had stopped a real crime, because someone who actually hurt a child would never be able to do so again.

Words on a screen are not the same thing.

saying ao3 needs to censor certain content is like saying a museum can't have still life art that includes strawberries because you don't like them.

these are not real strawberries. you do not have to, and in fact cannot, eat them. no one with a strawberry allergy will be harmed by looking at them. no migrant workers were exploited in the picking of these strawberries. there were no questionable farming practices or negative environmental impacts from growing or transporting them.

because - and i cannot stress this enough - they are not real strawberries.

if you don't like strawberries, you don't have to look at the paintings. in fact, you can get a map of the museum that lists what works are in what rooms and just. not go in there. if you see one by mistake, you can look away. just keep walking. there's plenty of other stuff to see.

yes, real strawberries can cause real quantifiable harm to real people.

but again. these are not real strawberries.

you may have whatever feelings you like about strawberries, and so can i. you can draw and write about whatever fruit floats your boat, and so can i, even if that happens to be strawberries. and we can hang our art side by side in the same gallery, provided you understand that my strawberries are not about you (and your kumquats are, shocker, not about me) and that - and this is true - neither are real.

and when the fascists break down the doors and grab all the strawberry paintings and heap them in the street and set them on fire, please know that they are coming for your kumquats next.

so if you want a place where you can show off your beautiful kumquat art safely, you're gonna have to tolerate having some strawberries in the next room.

and that's okay. because the strawberries aren't real.

[rollingeevee]

How would it play out if two or more beasts wanted to mark the reader as their own? Would they fight? Or would they be content to share?

(Preferable with silent salt in it but not that’s ok)

I feel it would depend on the Beasts. With certain Beasts (like Mystic Flour and Silent Salt), they would probably be able to work out a way to share, such as rotating who the darling stays with and arranging visits. For the others though, they’ll probably fight it out and the winner will then keep the darling on a tight leash to prevent thievery by their challenger. On that note, Mystic Flour and Silent Salt would only be willing to work with each other, as neither trust the other three Beasts to fully respect all rules that a share pact might set in place, which would inevitably lead to a fight and possibly the death of their darling.

When two or more Beasts realize they’re after the same cookie, it’s typically a race on who gets to them first. Each and every Beast will use each and every tactic they have in their arsenal to ensure they get to place their claim first and take the desired cookie for themselves.

Shadow Milk will use illusions and trickery and the help of Candy Apply and Black Sapphire (and Truthless Recluse if he has him at that time) to get to you first.

Mystic Flour will coat the paths the other Beasts might take in her flour fogs, making it harder for them to navigate, while possibly also using them to guide you to her.

Burning Spice has the entire Spice Swarm on the hunt for you, and they will be handsomely rewarded if they can get you to him before the other Beasts get to you.

I can’t say much about Eternal Sugar and Silent Salt atm since we know little of their abilities, but neither will give up without a fight.

If two or more Beasts who desire you reach you at the same time, a battle will typically ensue. If it’s just the Beasts present who show interest, they will ensure you cannot leave until the victor has claimed you. However! If multiple Beasts have shown interest but not all are present… the stakes are higher. As said previously, each Beast will use just about any tactic they can to get their hands on you before the other Beasts. Should… say three Beasts show an interest but only two are present, the third could take you while the other two are occupied duking it out. This puts each of them on high alert so their prize cannot be snatched right out from under their nose.

Not only that, but considering it’s Beast against Beast, nothing is held back. The ground shakes and the sky quakes endlessly until there is a clear victor. And once that victor has claimed their prize, they guard it heavily. No Beast is above entering another’s domain in order to try for a rematch if they’re dead set on the cookie they lost out on. Any darling in this situation has marginally less freedom than a darling the Beast didn’t have to fight for. They are with you at all times to make sure you stay theirs because their fellow Beasts are the only few they see as potential threats. Hell, the Beasts ease up eventually after stealing you back from an Ancient. But with another Beast? You will never have any leeway, because every shadow, every snapping twig, every distant growl could be the challenger Beast, looking to steal what they lost.

[mechncheese]

your designs are so peak! dyou think youd be willing to share some of your process for how you develop the looks you make?

Sure thing ! I'll take you on a journey into my mind's eye

Long text post ahead in case anyone's interested in my designing process

I start off with references-- lots of references. I pull inspiration from more than one iteration for a character ! For Brainstorm specifically I took the most inspiration from IDW Brainstorm with aspects from G1 like his darker/greener color.

Red Alert's darker color palette is also based on the TFA design with heavy IDW influence. First Aid's little doctor's coat was inspired by the Bayverse Crosshair's coat. Ratchet's design is based on his Prime, G1, IDW, and Cyberverse iterations but I took the most inspiration from his Prime design (I think Prime Ratchet is also my favorite Ratchet so I might be biased)

Before I begin designing anything, I map out the character's silhouette, it gives me a feel for the shapes I want and how they'd stand out in a lineup. Here's Wheeljack for an example.

Then I start the first draft/sketch. I just draw on top of the silhouette and adjust as I go, I'm mostly going based on what feels right to me.

Since a lot of the bots I was working with had White and Red color palettes I had to use different accent colors to break it up and I wanted to emphasize their shape language. I try to keep things from blurring together too much. I also used various off-white colors (it's very subtle) and different shades of red.

I also pull inspiration from figurines/model kits from gundams specifically-- honestly I do this mostly for the legs, I struggle a lot with making the legs look right so I look at Gundam legs for references on knee articulations and the ankles.

a lot of it is trial and error and it usually takes me more than one attempt before finalizing a design. Let me show you the monster that is my first Brainstorm attempt.

Good fucking god I have no idea what the hell I was thinking, literally the first thing I said to myself as I was finishing this was "Oh my god he is UGLY, I cannot keep him like that" he was not working out so I went back to the drawing board and worked small.

Here was my second draft of Brainstorm, I was thinking about his personality as I was working on him which I think helped a lot. Chaotically natured, I incorporated a lot of sharp shapes and I darkened his color palette to a sea green to let the red and yellow/orange accents stand out. It also emphasizes his more sinister personality while the broad yellow-accented shoulders paired with the extra red accents kind of give him this "show-off" and "full of himself" vibe.

My previous mistake was that the blue was far too bright and the orange and red were just clashing too much. Also his wings being flat against his back just did not fit him. I think I was too afraid to break to mold with Brainstorm-- Like there was this line between "This is not Brainstorm enough" or "This is too far from being Brainstorm" and then I remembered his very wise words

Then I just started to get adventurous and experimental and bam, we have Science AU Brainstorm. The major takeaway from this is don't be afraid to get wild with your designs.

In contrast, Since Prowl and Brainstorm will be seen around each other a lot, I kept Prowl's design less flashy and his palette limited, pulling heavily from IDW Prowl. It also fits his personality, he's much more serious and orderly. So when they're seen in the same drawing, there's this nice design compliment between Brainstorm and Prowl.

Another oopsies I did was initial First Aid attempt where I made his accent color orange for some reason. It looked really bad and I ended up changing it to blue which worked a lot better.

But yeah ! That's my general design process ! Play around, have fun and don't be afraid to get experimental and try some new things for designs !

[mock-arts]

Running a little late but it’s been a hell of a year (lemon, it’s january February), here’s my 2024 cover collection! Check out my tag for past years! This year mostly MDZS and SVSSS, but still have one star wars fic in there. Didn't do as many this year, but did multiple for the ones I did work on. And I ran a bang this year, so. That took some time lmao.

2024 Cover Collection

Breath Control by @zaffrefic (Art)

The start of Wei Ying’s collegiate swimming career looks promising. He is going to be swimming with his brother and friends for the next four years, and Lan Zhan has even joined his new team. Nothing is going to stop him from reaching his goals, nothing except, perhaps, himself.

Four years of swimming, school, obstacles, triumphs, and of course, romance.

Help! I'm Being Abducted by the Demon King! by @shiftyarchfey (Art)

Shen Yuan has a peaceful life. Ever since leaving the castle, its rules and hypocrisies, he could allow himself to forget what could have been. His brother is after all the famous knight in shining armor and he merely the librarian. But once demons start invading, that life too is over. What are you supposed to do if you are being abducted by a powerful demon king? Read him stories apparently.

Bookworm Shen Yuan x Demon King Luo Binghe in a pseudo-medieval AU, dragons and knights galore! (Rating will go up with later chapters)

An Ode to Red Dust by @wrecklwj (Art)

“A-Fu apologises for intruding. Shall I bring you a woman?”

Lan Wangji recoils. The question lands like a physical blow: violent, distasteful, and absurd. “No.”

“Then,” A-Fu murmurs. “If you wish, I could… relieve you. As a servant, it is my duty.”

Or: Crown prince Lan Wangji is taken hostage by Wen Ruohan, who has taken the throne after deposing the incumbent emperor. While imprisoned, Lan Wangji is assigned a handsome eunuch servant named A-Fu. Outwardly, A-Fu is mild and attentive, but his whispered hints at rebellion appear to be the start of something momentous and revelatory…

Tongues by mimispearmint (Art) (Podfic)

The whole thing is over in less than ten seconds. Streaks of missed liquor continue to drip down Wei Wuxian’s jaw and neck after he is done, glistening in the bright galleon moonlight. Crumpling the can, he spins his sword in his hand, the quicksilver challenge flashing like his eyes.

Clear as Clarity, the thought cuts across Lan Wangji’s mind with the first clash of their rapiers together: this absolutely cannot last.

Teenage Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are ghost-hunters dispatched on a routine Haunting.

Bonds of Beskar: Daggers Dominion by @popjeckdoom (Art)

Wolffe has been struggling to adjust without his eye, and struggling, even more, to remember why it was taken. Nightmares remind him of a mysterious journal left behind by his grandfather, Jaster Mereel, which reveals Ventress' true purpose. As his grandfather wrote: "Whoever controls The Dagger of Mortis, controls the Dark Side.” What was once the idle musings of a history buff becomes a race to find the Dagger before Ventress, and as a consequence, find his grandfather--who was the last person to have it, before he disappeared.

Meanwhile, Boba has a mission of his own. Track down Anakin Skywalker--and bring him home.

One Handed Tie by @seventhstar (Art)

Shang Qinghua accidentally adopts a baby, turns down a proposal, starts some fires, and discovers that he, too, can change.

With a dash of Dadbei-jun and Bingqiu drama for flavor.

Or: a baby falls into Moshang's laps. Chaos ensues.

[katiekatdragon27]

Hey. Hey, guys. You'll never guess what I've been drawing.

Glisten: ...??

Glisten and his lame ass boyfriends!!!!!! Cheers to art dumps <3

[CW: SUGGESTIVE JOKE] More doodles below cut:

So! I know most of you come for the shinyshrimp stuff (WHICH WE WILL GET TO) but let me yap about Glisten and Razzle for a bit.

I LOVE YOU GLITTERMASK THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU GLITTERMASK-

Glisten and Razzle got together like 3 months after Glisten and Boxten broke up. Razzle never really looked to Glisten that much outside of acquaintances (cuz he was kinda sorta lowkey jealous of Glisten's charisma and stage-presence). In fact, they were much more focused on Vee and maybe possibly had a crush on her, which is really funny in hindsight with Dazzle lol. However, after learning that Vee was a lesbian/being very rudely rejected by her, Razzle found comfort in Glisten and fell head-over-heels almost immediately.

The only problem is, Razzle has -10000 aura. His ass cannot be flirty or cool-charismatic at all.

Glisten: What do you do when you aren't distracting? Razzle: (Glisten likes mysterious people) I sell drugs!! Glisten: ... Excuse me? Razzle: (But Glisten also likes kind people) But ONLY to kids in need! Dazzle: (STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP-) *defeated whimper*

Razzle thinks he's that guy (they're not, they're pathetic honestly lol)

Also like, Razzle is suuuper dense when it comes to everyone except Dazzle. They struggle with self-reflection and other-people reflection, so he is completely convinced he is doing all the right things, when in actuality, they are very very very cringe.

Razzle: No see Dazzie, this is why they call me Rizzle. Dazzle: (No one has EVER called you that.)

Denseness is one hell of a drug, aye, fellas?

Dazzle is being pulled through the wringer trying to preserve whatever was left of her (and Razzle's) pride. It's not working. Girl is fighting for their life every time she is dragged over by Razzle in order to say a horrible pick-up line to Glisten.

(This is all pre-relationship btw. After they get together it becomes an inside joke and Glisten retorts with his own awful (although not nearly as bad) pick-up lines)

Now the moment you've been waiting forrrr 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

✨ Shinyshrimp ✨

I love them chat, I love them sm. They have so much drama and love and interesting things going on, they're so cool and fun n stuff and AUGHHHHH💥💥💥

Shrimpo being that one guy who craves affection but would literally bite anyone who gives it to him is so real to me. Homie wants a hug but ends up suplexing whoever hugged him outta reflex. Glisten, on the other hand, is one of the most affectionate people ever. He's not affectionate to everyone, but when you catch his interest (both platonic and romantic), he is very verbally and physically affectionate. He'll buy you things, he'll give you hugs, he'll let you invade his personal space, all stuff he would never let normies do.

Shrimpo loves this, however, homie has no idea how to deal with any kind of affection in a positive way. Cat-coded ahh guy. Glisten does find this amusing tho, so he's more inclined to be affectionate with Shrimpo to help him "get over it" in a way.

This is just for shits and giggles. I feel like everyone should draw this meme with their ships. It's a canon event at this point.

What can I say? He was hungry.

Can't forget my fankids. I love my fankids. I miss my fankids. I need to draw my fankids more istg I need to revamp their ask blog soon (especially with some new editions coming soon).

Also Hamlet looks smaller because most of his internal structure is made of ribbon and stuffing, so he shrinks into a ball when happy. He also loafs like a cat, what a guy.

Also also also what the skibidi sigma happened to my prep-jock ship?? Why is it backwards???

I drew these because I had a vision of the little doodle below and only thought it would work if they were swaped... sooooo... here we are.

Scapmi is a preppy goth-ish shrimp with an eye for fashion and artistry. With a smart mouth and a massive ego, he often comes off as an annoyance to others. He loves to be front and center in everything but often has to fight with his internalized idea that everything is a competition that he needs to win no matter what. It causes him a lot of stress and self-doubt, but he'd never let anyone see his weaknesses.

Gash is a shrap-toned violent mirror who speaks more with his fists than his voice. He hates everything that is not himself (and sweets) and makes sure people know that. He used to be a perfectionist, but after an accident permanently cracked his face, he dropped his "perfect" persona in favor of a messy, more hateful one. He wants connection but doesn't know how to express his needs in an understandable way, and that frustrates him immensely.

As you can see, match made in heaven.

Gash: DUDE, WHAT THE F*CK!? Scampi: There's a smudge on you- Gash: I DON'T CARE! LET GO!! Scampi: Not 'til I'm done. (Your natural blush is gorgeous; shame it's on you tho)

So yeah, swap shinyshrimp lore drop yippee.

Have a good one chat, til I reappear again✌️✌️

[slayrith]

in my room

i needed some josh in my life guys.. love chris but josh makes me foam at the mouth; sorta inspired by this song

warning: more stalker josh ;) he's a lil obsessive freak we need to talk about it more

It'd be an understatement to say he hadn't taken notice of you sitting next to him the first day of the semester. This film analysis class was a must for his major, but to you it was one of the only available classes left for you to get your liberal arts credit for your Psychology major- and you were as out of your depth as one could be. Nose scrunched up in confusion, you jotted annotations on the syllabus, something Josh had found quite cute; And now here he was, eyeing you sipping your coffee a month later across the library, watching you revise notes from your concluded lectures.

Josh had grown quite an obsession over you over the course of you two having a class. And sure, you've seen him a few times, but that's to be expected: you guys are in the same class, and your campus only had so many recreational spots for students, so you didn't think much of it. He was a cute guy, sure, but he seemed much too engrossed in the class you two shared to really talk to him.

Josh was one to not really obsess in silence- sure, he watched you from afar, and totally didn't hunt down and fall down the rabbit hole that was your social media profiles, but he just... He couldn't not approach you. So he did.

At first it was casual, him asking you about whatever film the professor was making you guys watch every week, making his usual jokes and subtly flaunting his apparent interest in film. You couldn't help but find it cute, seeing his eyes light up when you guys would talk, especially when he'd fill you in on additional information about the movie. Soon it turned into a weekly study date of sorts, both of you discussing and jotting notes while you went back and forth nitpicking the movie.

Then he invited you to a party- which in turn, introduced you to his friends. Then, these get-togethers became a weekly thing- being considerate of your work schedule, he'd hate for you to fall behind in work and school- until you two were hanging out several times a week- and you've only been talking to him for about a month.

"Hey- want to come watch 'Requiem For a Dream' again? I have it on DVD- and that's one you cannot watch one time and understand. It's a cinematic whiplash."

"So I'm holding a little casual shindig at my place- just us and some friends. Don't worry, they don't bite... Except for me, maybe- Kidding, kidding.. You're so tense, love.."

After a while you became accustomed to his petnames for you -which he absolutely lavished on you, whether or not you like it- and his countless teases and suggestive comments. That was just Josh to you, and he held a certain charm attached to it, which you grew to find endearing.

It wasn't until one evening you two were sprawled on the couch of your apartment, munching on snacks as you two leisurely watched some cheesy B-horror movie for a break from the pretentious films your professor would burden you with, when a cliché scene of the protagonist's girlfriend coming out in nothing but a shirt and underwear, earning a scoff from you.

"What? You'd look cute in that.. Besides, you have a similar pair.."

"Please, as if you would- wait what?"

"What? Nothing."

god i need this man

[fipindustries]

there is no need to be angry any more

so that was it.

that was the ending of jennyffer.

long long ago, back in 2008, i made a deviant art account and i started sharing my works online. i made the very concious and very deliberate choice back then, to fake it until i made it. every time i posted something, every time i updated my journal, every time i left any kind of note for a potential audience, i would talk with the register and confidence of someone speaking to a huge audience of adoring fans. would apologize for delays, i would advertize big ambitious porjects i had in the works (which i never finished or published). i would explain what i was going for with every work as if i had my dms filled with questions and fan theories.

much of that was me mimicking the style with which pretty much everyone posted at the time in deviant art. i did this when i only had like 4 followers there.

i carried this attitude with me when i came to tumblr and started posting my work here, but it wouldnt find much use until i started my webcomic Disregarding Reality back in 2016. in there, much like i did in deviant art, i would post extensive authors notes explaining my thought process behind every strip, id make announcements, id update people on my schedule, i make big celebrations of milestones achieved and would give tearful gratitudes to my audience for sticking with me all those years. again, i did all this for an audience of probably less than ten people.

a part of me was perfectly aware that this was all theatrics, it was me roleplaying as a famous artist and comic creator, because that had always been my dream, to be recognized for my art. it wasnt even necesarily fame what i was looking for. i was perfectly content to be someone on the same tier as, say, tom sidell or zach morrison or scott dewitt. someone with a well liked webcomic who could feed a relatively small but loyal group of fans that would spurn discussion, analisis and fanart. that was the thing i was looking most of all, praise i can do without, i wanted engagement, i wanted analisis, i wanted the kind of fan interaction that is measured in fan content. i wanted reviews, even bad reviews, it meant people were thinking about my work.

one thing i started with disregarding reality was to make small self contained story arcs, that is where we got mama bird, soft boys, hexen snatch and the begginings of max splosive.

and every time i concluded one of this arcs i would post a giganting wall of text as a sort of retrospective, an after game analisis, where i would explain what i was going for, what inspired me to do this, how was the process of creating the thing and to what degree i succeeded or failed. i did the same for my novel there is a crack in the world.

and is time to do the same for Jenniffer. except this time is special, is it not?

this time i do have an actual, proper audience.

this is no longer theatrics, this is no longer me roleplaying, now there are a significant ammount of people listening.

dreams do come true after all.

in many ways that was the second greatest success of this project. the fact that i actually garnered a following of some kind. to be sure, i doubt there are more than a hundred people who have seen jennyffer, but that is irrelevant to me, i got engagement, i got comments and analisis and fanart, that was all i ever wanted and i got it. i am realized, i am fulfilled.

the actual biggest success of this project id say is the fact that people got me. people truly understood what i was going for. i have heard many analisis of what is art in the last few months, wether there is such a thing as objective criticism of art, what is art for, what is the purpose of art, why we make art. and one position i heard over and over again was that art is not for communication. you know, death of the author and all that, what the creator meant has no bearing on the work and the experience of the work itself.

and yet i cannot help but disagree on some level, because if so what else can i call jennyffer other than an absolute triumph of conveyance. people understood it, time and time again i would see comments where people descrive pointedly, incisively, precisely what i was going for. i felt seen. so in that regard, im going to pin the blue ribbon upon my chest, sorry barthes.

there is a lot more that i want to say about this project, loads and loads. do you have any idea how many easter eggs i hid? how many references? do you know whats the story behind the little dinosaur painting in the therapist office? do you want to know?

well all those questions and more will be answered in the ~JENNYFFER COMMENTARIES~

thats right, every week on my patreon, starting today, ill be posting two videos (thats right TWO) with a director's commentary of a jennyffer episode. so if you want to know all the cool super secret details you can go to my patreon and subscribe, these are going to be patreon exclusive so i wont be releasing them to the public for a long long long time, sorry! i gotta eat!

***

Now i want to end this with a talk about the characters themselves in this story. Jennyffer and Peter.

They are based on many many different things, things that i have descrived many times in the past. but one thing i want to put emphasis on is that they are very much two sides of myself. the sensitive, morally punctillious and enciclopediacly nerdy Peter, and the assertive, sarcastic and ebullient Jenny. those who have known me for a while would have seen my inner peter poke out whenever in talking about some interest of mine, or when i first met them and want to cause a good first impression, or when im kinda tired or melancholic. and they would have also noticed my inner jenny get out whenever im salty, or stuck in debate mode, or excited or enthusiastic.

They are two lovely kids. they are endearing, they are funny, they are a little messy and sometimes a bit too much to handle. but it was an absolute delight and a priviledge to have them live in my head for four years and im very greatful that i had the time, the energy and the will to bring them to life.

now, as they grow old and mature and have to get ready to leave their mother's house for college i do have to let them go, im going to miss them a lot and im sure they will ocassionally come back to visit. but is time for them to do their own think. all i can do is say goodbye and thenk them for letting me tell their story.

best of luck to both of you

[qqueenofhades]

With full acknowledgement of the general shitty stress of the times, and a very deep appreciation for your steadying words over the last couple of years: I've been somewhat conflicted about volunteering with my local Democratic Party infrastructure; since it feels like at the Federal level, some of those representatives are at best incompetent and/or out of touch; verging on malicious incompetence. Especially with the most recent cycle, for them to sit there and harp on the danger Trump presented and then be caught apparently flatfooted after his inauguration.... is it even worth considering, at this point in time, the responsibility(?) of all parties involved, whether its voters who sat out this cycle, sloppy behavior from the party at various points over the last couple of years, Republicans for being bad actors; or is setting aside that degree of analysis and focusing on just pulling through the next 2-4-6-8 ish years the way to go? Focusing on what can be changed vs. what has come before? If you do not want to answer or don't have the bandwidth, totally understandable. :) Thanks again for all your hard work in this regard.

There are two things I can say here, which is that one, the federal-level Democratic Party kind of makes a habit of being unprepared, behind the eight-ball, pre-emptively cowed, generally disorganized, constantly alarmist followed by crickets, or pretty much anything else you can think of. They have already started the "stop Trump!" fundraising emails, and plenty of us, me included, are like "brother you aren't getting money from me until you POINT OUT what the fuck you're doing and start doing it, this ain't the first rodeo, GET WITH THE PROGRAM."

The second thing to say is that at least the Democrats will respond when you push them and can generally be bullied into doing the right thing eventually, and that there is no way they will learn that, get their heads on straight, or figure out a cohesive stop-Trump action plan unless we help them do that. Some of them are more successful than others; witness Democratic state AGs being blitzingly fast off the blocks and filing a barrage of lawsuits to stop the worst executive orders, while Democratic senators and House reps (at least initially) seemed passive, confused, fearful, or just content, per Chuck Schumer, to just "sit back and wait for Trump to screw up." Like, if that's your big plan to stop fascism after you spent the entire election season telling us (rightly) what a threat to democracy Trump posed, then you deserve to get your complacent ass primaried, Chuckie m'boy. Which someone can in fact do if they want to! If nothing else, it might give them a scare!

The good news is that after the grassroots Democrats started making an enormous stink, the national party woke up somewhat more and started acting more proactively. We understand that they are out of power in all three branches and cannot do anything to substantially stop Trump if all the Republicans continue to march in MAGA lockstep, but they can at least look like they give a shit. Which Senate Democrats did with their all-night opposition to Vought (the Project 2025 guy who got confirmed to OMB). They could not stop him from being confirmed, but they could make a high-profile stink about it and show that they were responsive to people going HEY GUYS SO ARE YOU GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS OR. Which they will need to do, because it will maintain grassroots energy to get the House and hopefully the Senate back in 2026 and put the brakes on any substantial or legislative-related Trump BS.

The point is: the Democrats, especially on the federal level, are often chronically behind the curve and need to be kicked hard to get moving, but once that kicking happens repeatedly, they do generally tend to get the message. And if you want to make the most difference and have an active hand in shaping and discussing that effort and pressuring them to keep going, then yes, you should go ahead and volunteer. As ever, doing something is far, far better than not doing it. So yes.

[kaibegins]

Lets Discuss a Hard Truth (Or Just The Ignored Truth):

I don’t use tumblr often, but I had enough of y’all bullshit.

If you relate to someone like tommy kinard as a white queer, or really any queer man or masc presenting individual in general, your privilege is showing. especially as a white gay men who openly sit here and admit that they self-project and relate to such a character, when those who have actually watched the show long before bucktommy, witnessed mr. kinard be openly complicit and a willing participant of workplace discrimination and racism—twice. how can you sit here and try to justify away behavior that happened twice in the show? the only time they actively stopped being complicit was when one of them saved his life, and the other had to get their attention and make them listen to her.

It doesn’t help his case at all that after chimney saved his life, he still wasn’t a part of their circle. he told hen that he isn’t anything to them outside the workplace. they’re not going out of their way to invite him to their outings. he said himself, “oh you think they’re inviting the asian guy to their houses for BBQs and out for beers?” how can they still treat him as if he’s invisible, or a threat to their comfort after saving a life of one of their own. that has to mean something for them to not continue to bow down and be cowardly, as they watch a superior abuse his authority for the second time to diminish hardworking individuals because they don’t look like him or them.

compliance is just as worse as being a participant and tommy was both.

I know what you’re thinking: oh, but they clearly have forgiven him since they’re spending time with him and called him? yeah, let me tell you a secret: forgiveness doesn’t equal forgetfulness. it takes strength to forgive, but it’s hard to forget. I cannot erase the moments in my head of someone treating me and diminishing me simply because of the color of my skin, allowing that to dictate how well I am at my job. I cannot erase playing a video game which ended up with me, my sister and friend, who are all black, be harassed with slurs as they ignore our pleads to stop, because words do hurt. what makes it worse is seeing other bipoc individuals adore this character, ignoring genuine criticism about his behavior as “homophobia” or “mischaracterization” when there isn’t a character to mischaracterize and it’s not homophobic to criticize a character’s actions who happens to be gay [mind you, he wasn’t originally meant to be gay—again, tommy was backup because the actresses of natalia and lucy could not make time for the show.]

he is a plot device, always has been and always will be. tommy kinard being called to put out a fire, and being in a scene with other character sharing stories of how they got their injuries was because he was merely another device to the plot. y’all try to erase and replace eddie by claiming he this, and that he’s that, without any genuine argument about what your saying about him. you have deluded yourself into thinking that the version of tommy you happen to believe in actually exist, when really he’s a cardboard box that a child can draw on to replicate something worth attaching themselves to. tommy was never going to be the most important relationship of buck’s—if we’re being real here, abby was much more important because she was the one who actively changed him. tommy merely made him aware of a side about himself he never bothered entertaining—he was an introductory relationship. which don’t last forever for the average person. it’s common sense, and I’m not saying that eddie will be the next one, but tommy was the first, not the last.

I do have to ask, what made tommy so different from his last love interests that you didn’t type away with your fingers wanting them to remain forever and become a more relevant person within the show. what if I believed natalia meant to have a permanent presence within the show, or taylor, or even ali? because you’re going to look at me like I’m crazy. I mean, there are taylor lovers out there who would love to see more of her. I’ll imagine you think that to be a ridiculous idea.

you’ll probably think I’m insane or dramatic for taking the time out of my day to type all of this, but I’m tired. I’ve been silence many times, but I’m not allowing y’all to be comfortable anymore. y’all can disagree, but at least have your disagreement be approval and valid that isn’t a dog whistle for defending racism. tell me why I’m wrong with actual evidence from the show [which honestly, doesn’t benefit me much either as the writing isn’t the best; exhibit a: retconning abby’s ex as tommy, and exhibit b: basically never addressing tommy’s actions properly. exhibit a doesn’t benefit tommy either because that means not only did he use abby, but also left her when her mom got too sick to alone. ] now, coming out the closet isn’t easy for queer people with little to no support system. that doesn’t mean that hiding your queerness to protect yourself means you have to resort to being racist to ass kiss your racist captain in order to be accepted. yeah, no honey, that’s not the best way to hide who you are by being a bigot.

and as much as y’all love to have an issue with buddie shippers being lesbians (oh, we love lesbophobia)—I cannot be homophobic for hating a racist character, that just doesn’t work sweetheart. :/ I’m a man hating lesbian with the exception of my many wives (eddie díaz, who I will defend from y’all freaks till I die.)

if someone can confess their sins of seeing themselves in tommy kinard, I’m allowed to put my foot down and tell you that you’re fucking full of yourself. his actions weren’t properly addressed; you cannot place everything on gerard considering he was allowed to do what he did twice because of spineless people. sal is spineless, tommy is spineless, all of them with the exception of one person were spineless, and even eli himself is guilty of complicity as a white man, considering he could not fully understand how different it is for chimney by just merely being “a stranger they can’t yet trust.” however, he is the better one out of peers to actively see value in chimney and the understanding he is just as capable of his trust in being a paramedic.

I’m glad tommy is gone. I wish y’all can leave him to die and be erased from the narrative. he’s a dirt on buck’s shoe and my mans got other people to worry about considering the love of his life is moving to texas—somebody been reading buddie fanfics, trust! I don’t have any more to say that won’t make this any longer, but it had to be said.

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH !!!

[bomberqueen17]

how it's going

yah well so. my winter of not being at the farm and instead having medical appointments is going about how you'd think, which is to say that i've run out of steam on making the medical appointments but do still have several to take care of.

i did manage to get my primary care physician to accept that i had an ADHD diagnosis (which last year she refused to help me get, but now that i have it, she's like ok cool great here's a referral for therapy). She's now prescribed me meds, and since I already tried the three major stimulant meds plus had prior (bad) experience with the one antidepressant they use, she prescribed me some weird anti-narcolepsy med that sometimes gets used. and i was supposed to start that two days ago but rite aid is still trying to get insurance approval. take a wild guess what kind of insurance i have!!

yeah united health isn't going to approve that one. so my avenues here might already be closed. but at least someone tried?

I have done a bit of sewing and a bit of exercise biking and a lot of snow shoveling (what a year). I got a mammogram and they called me right away and were like omg you gotta come back there was something weird there, and so i went back and they were like omg we gotta squash you SO flat to look at this, and i was like ow ow ow okay okay uncle and they were like yah we gotta ultrasound you this isn't good and i was like. if they have to cut my boobs off can i get robot ones???? (insert every emoji here in succession, the nine or whatever stages of grief is not enough to cover this)

and the ultrasound tech was like SO nice? and so gentle? and by then i'd been lotionless so long (you can't have lotion on your boobs before a mammogram! my dudes it is january i am a crocodile) that the water-based gel kind of stung? but it was okay and she made me wait and went and looked at the results with a doctor and came and took me aside and was like "Great news! It's nothing" and sent me home. which was like. so many ups and downs! what a wild ride! love this ending for me, this is actually the best possible ending ever.

Spent the entire next day in a vet waiting room because Chita had been peeing all over the basement. Verdict: not a UTI. But, she's got to start special kidney food. Have now spent an entire week trying to get the vet to give us the prescription we need in order to buy the stuff, somehow can't get this done, really don't know what the hell is happening.

So anyway now we just have puppy pads down in various corners of the basement, because Chita has Opinions about litterboxes that cannot be solved by simply having an array (five) of immaculate (Cat Attract(TM) litter-containing) boxes, because you see, she needs to pee NEXT TO a litter box according to some strange schedule, AS WELL AS in only SOME of them, and poo in others... Well at least it's all in the basement and she has not done this in any of the rooms where we actually live. But like. Gross dude.

In June Chita will be legally old enough to vote, though cats are not eligible to register alas, so I suppose we can just let her do what she wants since she probably knows best at this point.

Otherwise the only notable thing happening is the writing, at which i am making tremendous progress, so that's good. Therapist has been attempting to get me to form priorities and make to-do lists which is hilarious and I don't know how to convey to her that I am a feral goblin and Goals are not a thing I've ever historically managed to have, and I don't think she understands about novel-writing in particular (she was like oh you're making getting published a goal! and i'm like you don't understand how this industry works, this is a self-pub at best kind of economy and i will not be making money from this). But I am trying very hard to get a draft of this done as soon as I possibly can because I simply won't have time over the spring/summer/fall season, but I *might* have time to edit.

I've got eight chapters in the beta doc by now and having people read it and leave comments is absolutely working to keep me focused on it. <3 I can't convey enough how much that means. It is incredibly helpful. I never did make a discord or any way to discuss that so it's all gotta be in the comments but that is working for me for now. I have most of the plot hammered out and just have to like. Glue it together. So we shall see.

Except I keep letting myself get distracted doing backstory stuff so yesterday I wrote 2,999 words of literally just porn that is not in any way going to go into this novel, and i felt kind of bad about that but then I also wrote 3,914 words of action plot and cyborg dolphins (and mostly it is a guy passed over for a promotion trying to work around the incompetent they made into his manager, so like, relatable content but also with dolphins who can talk, so like, what's not to love) so I felt less bad about that.

I will include a snippet because I can.

A moment later, Mahina’s synthetic voice said “We did not find your convoy but other pod says ships that way.”  Tom nodded. “Yeah, I thought it might be too far,” he said.  “You know our range?” Mahina asked. Her vocabulary was very practical, but then, this was a major shipping lane. From the slightly greater height of the launch, he could see her better; she was large, an older female. The augmented dolphins lived longer, but she wouldn’t be old enough to remember before the treaties, he thought.  “I think so,” Tom said. “Mahina not so good at human number reckoning,” she said. “But if Ted know a pod’s range Mahina no need to try.” “Ted?” Tom said, startled into a laugh. “Is human name,” Mahina said. “It is,” Tom agreed. “Yes, I can be Ted.” “Ted,” Mahina said, with a decided affirmative whistle. The only way to add words to the brainwave-readers was for a fairly skilled human technician to do so, and one of them must at some point have been named Ted.

[fizz-pop-thwip]

Look, do I think it would it have been more civil (ha) and definitely ended out better if Steve HAD sat down and had that conversation with Tony? Yes. Do I also completely understand his decision not to and try to hide it? Yes.

Bucky is Steve's weakness, his Achilles heel, his one pure love, I would argue. Platonic or romantic isn't relevant to this argument. He usually makes decisions for the greater good, for what helps EVERYONE but when Bucky enters the ring makes decisions to help him. Bucky is the only number 1 in a world of 2s. Steve would have his limit, I'm sure, but Bucky becomes priority and he is the only one that Steve will die at the hand of to save.

Bucky wasn't at fault for Tony's parents death, I hope we all have that understanding. So should he be held accountable? No, because he was brain washed with a complete lack of autonomy. This is why Steve didn't tell Tony or ESPECIALLY show him the video, which creates a much more visceral reaction. He didn't for the sake of Bucky's future, for his healing and maybe even more selfishly, for the sake of his relationship with Tony. And I cannot say I would do any different.

In the situation Zemo forced them into, it put the pressure on Steve to have told Tony, Because he 1) knew and was withholding it from Tony but 2) had the comprehension to understand the full scope of the situation and explain it, unlike Bucky. But truely, it should be Bucky's choice to share. Or not a choice but rather, what would become his own moral necessity.

But no point theorising what could have been without Zemo because there's a million and one options.

Conclusion, Steve should have told Tony in foresight but didn't because he cares too much about Bucky and is ultimately going to put him in the path that to puts him in the least danger. At the time the path with the least danger just happened to be keeping it from Tony and waiting to see what Bucky wanted to do about it.

Team Iron man fans saying that Steve was wrong for not telling Tony that Bucky killed his parents but honestly, seeing how Tony handled finding out about it, I wouldn't have told him either. Tony was already willing to throw bucky into prison or an institution IMAGINE what he would've done if he found out bucky killed his parents while they still had him in custody. Steve was doing what he always has done, protect Bucky.

People openly supporting the revenge killing of a man who had NO control over his life for the past 70 years and wasn't even conscious for the majority of it because of something he did WHILE BRAINWASHED is insane to me.

(also please don't attack me I'm just stating my opinion TwT)

[verdicloud]

more serious aspects of rum tum tugger

admittedly, i watch act 1 of cats wayyyyyy more than act 2. i’m not sure why, but it means i listen to “mr mistoffelees” a lot less, so it kinda slipped my mind that… rum tum tugger sings “mr mistoffelees”… 😬 but seriously watching and listening to it after a while of detox made me, weirdly, appreciate tugger’s character so much more than before.

if you don’t think tugger is a very complex character or someone worth delving into, let me offer this: we talk about john partridge being THE tugger, that he’s yet to have been surpassed or lived up to, and it’s true, but from what i’ve seen, i don’t think us fans get him quite right either. (not anyone specifically, just in a general sense.) and from what i’ve heard, other productions are great, but there’s just nothing quite like his 1998 film portrayal. i don’t just mean the swagger, but also the gravitas that he gives off. it was really lightning in a bottle. that’s how difficult it is to get his character truly right. (such is the case for a lot of cats in my opinion, but i’m being picky.)

(p.s. i meant this as in “it’s insanely difficult to capture john partridge’s essence”.)

…… yes, i know tugger is meant to be vain and rebellious and a sexy, indecisive flirt, and i do realise that the three words are just “in general” to help actors perform better, BUT, you cannot tell me that this description doesn’t water him down to a puddle :

his three words are apparently “vain, perverse, inconsequent”. “vain”? you mean the one whose first instinct was to call upon someone else more competent to help when old deut was in danger? the one who pleaded for the jellicles to listen to him, and gladly gave reasoning while hyping up misto, instead of just saying trust me bro? the one who is clearly extremely grateful and proud to be old deut’s son? and “perverse” is only true if they mean “contrary”. otherwise, his whole song shows him rejecting all the hot girls who all want him. “inconsequent”? firstly, i’m pretty sure that they’re using this word wrong. second, if they mean “not caring about consequences”, then tell that to the cat who stopped his entire party instantly just to alert the tribe of grizabella’s appearance. (and he clearly looks very disappointed when nobody liked his bagpipes gag!)

tugger is attractive, admired by many, influential, high-status and charismatic. yet, he only ever uses his prominence to do what’s best for the jellicles or what would make them happy, both individually and as a whole. in misto’s number, he steps up completely soberly when the jellicles need him the most. he hypes up misto because he knows his influence will make the cats believe in him. he gives the cats some much needed levity during times of crisis. he entertains etcetera, his biggest fan, like a singer inviting a child on stage and it shows that he cares.

i wanna talk about tugger’s design as well in terms of his character. tugger’s presence is the perfect balance of cool and warm. he is stylish and impressive, a self-assured and level-headed cat with an assertive aura, who easily keeps his composure, but at the same time, he’s inviting and open, a dutiful and shrewd cat with an incredible sense of humour, who is able to lift the hearts of those around him. this is reflected in his design, as his top half has a huge fluffy mane, but the rest of him is sleek black, yet done in a way that’s complimentary and not conflicting.

beneath the show-off, the swagger, and the sex appeal, he’s a mellow and mature tom cat who just loves to put on a good show and give the crowd exactly what they want. he’s just as serious and responsible and caring and full of love for his tribe as munkustrap is, while still being able to retain his thrilling and unruly side (which somehow makes him seem even more responsible, since he has the capacity to balance levity and soberness to the fullest extent).

people try to give him sad backstories or make him seem softer and that’s fine, but it’s a rare thing that we get such an ineffably complex and nuanced character without needing things like a drastic arc or sympathetic traits. through tugger, i’ve gained a newfound admiration for this sort of adamantine character, and this qualia of his shines through, however subtly, in every number he’s in.

i did my best, but my words probably don’t do him justice either. maybe during your next watch of cats, try to search for this feeling!

(and i think, in this way, he really embodies rock music so well. so fun and exciting and rebellious, but still able to sound so classic, solemn and heavy.)