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afreakingdork · 3 days ago

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Memo From Dork HQ (Thoughts and Probable Posting Change)

TO: The Void, All Encompassing

FROM: Afreaking Dork, Writer

DATE: 6 February 2025

SUBJECT: Thoughts and Probably Posting Change

It's becoming a bit obvious that I might not be able to keep up the posting schedule. As far as check-ins are concerned, I am not seeing obvious signs of burn out. Instead, there an ever present feeling of stress. Everyday I wake up and think: I need to do x, y, and z to get to a, b, and c, and if I don't do that then I will fall behind and have to push d and maybe e, and what will become of f amongst the changes? It's exhausting and that's just from my hobby. My real jobs require the same mental juggling and I often feel like I am one tossed 'ball' away from having the entire circus come down.

My thoughts and theories on the matter are ones I try to approach scientifically. One may think: Dork wrote two stories simultaneously before, what's the difference? Well, when I wrote Sunshine Moonshine, I foresaw that back to back publishing might not be feasible. I wanted the story to exist and, by nature, I am a person who must write when they want to write. I gave myself no deadline and wrote whenever I felt like it. This worked for a long time, but as the story grew, I began to feel restless for it's existence to come to fruition. I had been commissioning chapter art for it and the artists were asking me when they could share their pieces. I told myself that once a certain point was achieved, I would go ahead and release.

That goal ended up occurring around the time I finished chapter 18 and saw that the fic would end at 20. I premiered the story and came across a new problem I couldn't forsee: I didn't remember what I wrote. I knew the broad strokes, but not the finer details. I like to edit before publishing, but it had been months since I had written some of those chapters. References I made were lost on me and some context had completely evaporated because the origin was gone. It was annoying and ate up more time when I still needed to write two more chapters. The groundwork had been laid, but I didn't have the blueprints.

All while this was happening, the first idea of kenkey popped into my head on January 10, 2024. These ideas would continue to pop and through July, as which time I was refining the outline for what I knew was going to be my next story. By September, the first chapters were opened up to my betas. I had a choice right then of how that would happen and chose to do it on the same weekly basis as Villain's Mark because I didn't want a repeat of forgetting. Remembering what I'm doing and executing it how I want is one of my greatest triumphs as a writer. I hold my words to extremely high regard. I knew it would be tough, but it wasn't like I wasn't already writing multiple stories at once. I figured I could get a few chapters in, maybe six, as a good buffer and that wouldn't be too many that I wouldn't remember.

AENEM was began publishing in November and here we are.

My six chapter buffer has dwindled to one.

(That's three less than Soft Spot)

I have the same desire/drive to write it, but Soft Spot is my baby.

It comes first and has come first for literal years now.

I'm tired of being anxious.

I want to write when I want to write.

I like minimal deadlines, but I feel like I need space.

My brightest idea is moving AENEM to a biweekly publishing, but I don't know.

i have commitments with the chapter artists.

I need time for the betas to edit.

I have to get new commissions done.

It's hard to say what to do next, but something needs to be done.

The only certainty is there will be no change to Soft Spot.

If you are willing, your thoughts are appreciated.

Another Donnie pin-up goes live tonight as your thanks for reading.

#me #housekeeping

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asarigg · 21 hours ago

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I’m not sure if you’re replying to my post because this sounds a lot like you didn’t read what I wrote. I don’t think you’re aware or really understand the exact context of why I’m explaining that like this. I’d like to understand how is this a counter argument to a supposedly unfair (why…?) and biased (biased because I give my interpretation in an essay) when I’ve already talked about most of the points you talk about.

Was the assault because of Koujaku’s desires and feelings? Yes, obviously, and I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it in past posts. But what I was trying to point out is that the rape itself is not something he wants to willingly do, and his control just fades away as he loses his mind. And some people just ignore that fact and treat it like he was 100% lucid, you made up the edgelord part. These are people that have legit harassed others over that. I’m not even insulting them, yet you’re implying stuff about my own persona without paying attention to what I wrote. It’s ironic.

I’ve already mentioned that he’s seeing this cycle of him trying to protect someone he loves and betraying them happen again. He’s letting himself be manipulated by Ryuuhou and he’s falling to that pit of a certain type of violence, he knows it and hates it, and he wants to kill himself because he can see that he’s a danger for everyone else. But Koujaku doesn’t really care about killing Ryuuhou. The only reason why he doesn’t the first time is because Aoba stops him. The game makes a point of not judging his actions when he kills him, it’s neither good or bad, because he killed someone, but rightfully killed his abuser. It’s not glorified, but he doesn’t get blamed for it. All that controversy is only in his own mind and perception, if anything. And he says it himself, that what annoyed him wasn’t really killing Ryuuhou, but that he did what Ryuuhou wanted. It’s obvious and clear that Ryuuhou’s playing with them even BEFORE they go to Platinum Jail, remember that he left a tattoo sketch in Mizuki’s shop. This is something I’ve talked about as well.

The translation detail I mention was made comparing translations to see the differences, but in the grand scheme it doesn’t matter that much to the main point I was writing about. To me it’s mostly just that, a detail. NC made use of noncon all the time for kink so I don’t think it’s that unexpected, but it’s true that in the discussions with the people I’m referring to, these details are pretty often thrown around like they change the whole mind control plot that surrounds the entire game, hence why I thought it was important enough to mention. Regardless, I already said this in the original post, the most popular translation is known to have quite a few mistakes, and there are translations that are confusing, probably due to the language not having an equivalent. I compared different translations, and the vibes are always “I wish it was different”, meaning of course he wants and desires Aoba, romantically and sexually, but he doesn’t want it without Aoba wanting it. I never imply differently, what’s more, I talk about this in other parts, talking about the bad ending too.

Him being possessive and all that “you’re mine and mine only” mentality is an interesting idea to explore and I’ve done that myself on my own personal material. It could have been an obvious alternative bad ending aside of the one we got with Sly. But it’s a mentality that pretty obviously happens when he’s losing it and giving in to his deep desires, not in a normal context. Which again, was my point here regarding certain hate posts and disrespectful people.

In no way I think Sly is simply a beast with no good in him (which are words that I didn’t say, it changes the implications). This is an essay about Koujaku and I don’t center much on his character anyway, so I simplify. But it’s not even that far, he’s obviously someone who does as he pleases without caring about other’s comfort or wellbeing in general, that’s a heavy part of his character and of course you can’t expect him to have the highest morals around, even if there’s more to it. You can only know more about him once you’re in Ren’s route, because otherwise he’s presented to you as a purely violent, evil alter ego. I’m comparing Sly and beast Koujaku because of their similarities, not so much their differences.

The essay isn’t meant to be taken as the entire truth either. As an essay these are my personal thoughts and I can interpret one single thing in multiple ways. The most objective part is the character design part, and even there I also give my personal thoughts and interpretations. If anything it’s meant to open friendly discourse and maybe give new ideas and perspectives, just like you mentioned the idea of intrusive thoughts. This part of Glitter in specific is even more personal because it’s something that affected me personally and it’s been happening for years and years, so it became quite en exhausting topic.

About: Part 2

DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. PATH TO HEALING: part 2

Despite all this tension and mistrust, the next scene is full of gentleness. Aoba is extremely embarrassed and worried that he vomited on Koujaku, staining his kimono. But despite having such an important goal in mind, and the distance he’s causing by not wanting to involve him, taking care of Aoba right now and carrying him back home is more important. Aoba is so worried about having stained his kimono and Koujaku brushes it off, not only that but also uses his sleeve to clean it up. A kimono that signifies his identity, that is reminiscent of his mother, of her nurturing, something so personal.

I feel that after seeing Koujaku leave, Aoba felt especially vulnerable, those feelings of helplessness and neglect, that jealousness, sharpened by his discomfort after the effect of the drugs. So now it’s not only about Koujaku’s care, but also the warmth and affection placed on him that makes him feel better.

The main reason for Aoba's distrust towards Koujaku happens when he discovers the amount of tattoos and scars he had running through his body. The person he shared unique and intimate things with, only for the two of them, was not only leaving him alone but also hiding something from him, and the tattoos only confirmed it. What could be so serious that Koujaku is hiding it from him? Like we said before, it being solely because of the yakuza is kind of unlikely because he’s friendly with Virus and Trip, and you can’t possibly compare them to the friendship he has with Koujaku. So the shock mostly comes from feeling like his trust and friendship aren’t reciprocated, that he isn’t anyone special to him, that Koujaku is pushing him away and doesn’t want him by his side, he feels betrayed, lonely, rejected. He put all his trust in him, his hero, but it looks like Koujaku doesn’t hold him in high enough regard to confide in him. And so his heart breaks.

If one doesn’t trust, the other can’t either. They’re equals, and one can’t be without the other. But now, in a way, Koujaku is leaving him behind, and it could also remind him of how he left when they were children, of his parents, it’s a devastating feeling. That’s why he dreams about his childhood, a return to his most comforting memories, in which there was no distance or mistrust, in which Koujaku never pushed him away, rather, he was always with him, searching for him.

Alright, this is completely unnecessary in my opinion. It’s something so obvious I’m still surprised to see people reading this the wrong way, so that’s why I decided to include it. It’s something so important and shocking that it’s a shame that it’s interpreted in such a wrong way by either extreme censorship (crazy being a dmmd fan) or simple bias, because it’s been something that happens the twelve years the game has been around that people talk about this scene as if this was something that Koujaku ever wanted to happen or had made this decision on his own. What’s funny is that this is the usual coming from people who don’t like him, but surprisingly enough people that do like him sometimes also agree and then you can’t excuse it with rage bait. I really don’t understand how this can keep happening because one of the main plots of the entire game that moves the characters to act is precisely the brainwashing and mental manipulation that Toue wants to force on people. Each character has some personal relationship with this and it’s so blatant that I didn’t think I would continue to see these kinds of conclusions to this day and age.

It’s raining, Aoba returns to Glitter and a little while later Koujaku arrives too, soaked from head to toe and with a grim face. Although Aoba isn’t sure who he is referring to, because he doesn’t know the danger he entails, we know perfectly well that he’s pissed off because he saw him talking to Ryuuhou. During the conversation Aoba notices he was looking at something behind him, all that happens here goes exactly as the tattoo artist wanted, it’s all part of his plan, of his manipulation. Like we said before, rain is representative of the dragon's influence.

Somehow, what Koujaku is feeling now is the same thing Aoba has been feeling when he saw him leave. Anger, jealousy, disappointment and betrayal. He has seen the person he loves talking to his worst nightmare personified, the person he was looking for with the intention of killing him. His emotions are already unstable, but seeing them together upsets him so much that he’s no longer in full use of his faculties, with the tattoo consuming him, only managing to get angrier and angrier until he throws Aoba to the bed. First thing he does is to bite him, because it’s like he’s marking him as his in some way, like territory. His tattoos take over his body, over his feelings, and externalizes them in the worst way.

He’s becoming more and more irrational. Before he had a serious face, but now he’s getting angrier and angrier. This scene isn’t supposed to be hot (unless you’re into noncon lmao), it’s a scene where they’re pushing their relationship to the edge of a cliff, to a point of no return, these are the consequences and they either act now or they’ll be broken forever. There’s no need to have the full rape package because the point has already been made. It would just be for the sake of making the trauma more painful just for the kink and it just doesn’t fit. Considering how fast the entire story develops, the whole “Aoba forgives Koujaku” arc in order to have a good ending, it would probably feel empty and weightless.

I get the feeling that since Koujaku can still talk here, unlike the bad ending, people see it as if he’s actively controlling his body and just letting his anger peek (at most, he’d be only partially controlling it with the influence of the tattoo, or he’d be seeing it in “third person”, kind of like how Aoba can remember a bit of his life when Sly was controlling their body, but it’s not him). It’s pretty obvious that he’s not listening to Aoba, not only he doesn’t stop until he uses his power, he doesn’t answer his questions about what the hell he was talking about either. He’s not being rational, he just keeps repeating the same thing over and over until he can’t talk anymore. (His tattoo doesn’t need to be mature to do tremendous damage to his loved ones, to be honest no wonder he wanted to kill himself after this lol).

In the confession scene he also mentions that he vaguely remembers touching Aoba in this scene, the translations are actually a bit confusing because some suggest that Koujaku basically says that he liked how it felt even though he felt sorry about it being non-consensual, and others have a more reasonable answer where he says something like “I kind of remember what happened and I could only wish it was different”. I honestly lean towards the second one, because the first translation, which I think is the most popular one, already had several mistakes or slightly confusing translations and this one would be no exception, the implications are different. Honestly, just one more reason why I wished he would just say that he remembered literally making out with him in Scrap because this part only helps people to put the blame directly on him as if he had ever wanted that in the first place.

I need people to understand that the berserk form, beast Koujaku, whatever you wanna call it, is the same to Koujaku as Sly is to Aoba. They are forces of destruction that desire death and violence, with some kind of supernatural focus, beast Koujaku based on pure instinct, and Sly in a more sadistic way, consciously doing harm. You can’t expect any morality from them, and especially not from a beast. When Sly is in control, Aoba still remembers things that happen and vice versa. Koujaku remembering parts of what happens isn’t new and it doesn’t mean he was in control, period. I don’t see people blaming Aoba for what Sly does, so why would he be blamed for this? Even Aoba himself straight up tells you it’s not the same person, it’s impossible to know the tattoo exists and still thinking that this is somehow voluntary.

I’ve also seen people say that for some reason Koujaku fans just ignore this scene, as if we wanted to ignore anything slightly problematic or hinting at this being part of Koujaku’s personality in some shape or form, like we can’t stand the “fact” that he has any hint of malice in him and we don’t acknowledge it because we’re in a bubble dream world and it couldn’t be a worse misreading of the entire character. I can’t believe that it came from someone who liked Koujaku because it feels so disrespectful to him, to his story and who he is, basically all we’ve talked about so far. One thing is to have hcs and the other is to treat it as the canon truth and disrespect others because they don’t share those hcs that are pretty much incompatible with the character. Besides, I’m sorry, what else should we be talking about? They talk like this could happen in any other situation, and no. It wouldn’t because Koujaku didn’t choose this. They truly believe that a character who doesn’t have malice for some reason is a character without flaws or imperfections, and if they like this character it must be because there’s something bad in him that makes him a grey character, so they can keep enjoying their edginess. Got the wrong character, Koujaku’s imperfections and “impurities” are far apart from that selfish facet they wanted to give him. His lack of communication and his self destructive careless attitude of carrying everything on his own, the way he behaves giving less importance to himself and his inability to break the cycle by not relying on someone else are what builds him. If anything, being more selfish is what he needs, to be honest. Bad things can happen even if the intentions are good, it's a good natured character with nuances and flaws, to put it simple. And the good thing about Koujaku and Aoba is just how versatile they are, you can almost go with anything in your fiction and you'll probably find details and nuances about their characters that you can include there so it still feels like them, while separating from the strictly canon and exploring your own ideas.

I've mentioned this before on my Twitter account, long time ago. I personally wish they’d left more time to develop the feelings after this part of Glitter because Aoba immediately leaves and gets drugged by Ryuuhou. Same story, everything in the game happens really fast. With that in mind I think it’s fair to not take it too much into account, like many other things, and just imagine what would happen and that’s it. Because it’s true that they talk about it a bit, but then move on to something else right away and there’s no processing of what happened, the scene doesn’t feel as heavy as it should, like “Well, that just happened”. It’s the ultimate act of betrayal for god’s sake.

Ren recognizing Beni’s wings’ flapping like there aren’t a hundred other bird allmates that do the same sound will never not be iconic, truly an old man yaoi moment.

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capsiclesteebrogers · 4 months ago

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Bridgerton fandom is nasty because people like you feel they can police other peoples thoughts and content and they are unable to stay in their lane just like you. So go fuck yourself with the moral highground, guess what I saw today - another nasty Nicola fan talking how Simone is arrogant because she is skinny and a curry sniffer. You seee any kanthony fan making posts in the polin and Nicola tag with this bullshit? Grab a mirror and think for a second why you are feeling you can somehow police other people, nasty romanian comunist

I was debating answering this ask until I got to the last part. It is incredibly insensitive to call someone a comunist simply because you do not agree with what they say. My country is still recovering after communism because we did not have the means to progress faster. My parents still talk to me about how they were affected by it and how awful it was. Please check your xenophobia because it is not normal.

I am not policing people's thoughts and contect. I am calling out people who are being (and have been for the past few years) nasty and deranged towards a real woman. People can post whatever they want but being a decent human being is a requirement for all of us. Call out these fans and make your own post. As I have previously mentioned, I have reported and blocked p*lin fans who have attacked Simone but I see few of these people because I try to curate my space as much as I can.

And yes, I have seen fans tagging wrong. I made sure to tag properly and censor both ship names. If my post appeared in the normal tag then it's tumblr's fault because I always make sure to tag properly.

I suggest you grab a mirror and reflect why you think being xenophobic and fatphobic to a person you do not know is ok. I simply made a post calling out nasty fans. I did not insult the actors nor the ship. Do you honestly believe this behaviour is normal? I made one singular post criticizing some shippers and you have already send me 4 asks. Please block me and leave me alone. Or maybe come off of anon and allow me to block you.

#anonymous #anon ask #bridgerton fandom #anti kanthonies #seriously this is not normal behaviour #i have max 6 posts about bridgerton on this blog #and they feel the need to come after me after one post where i criticized them #mind you i also like k*nthony #i am censoring the ship name because i don't want this to show in the normal tag #which i have done with my original post as well #it's not normal to insult people like this over a silly romance show #and they hide behing anon cause they know how shitty they are #either block me or let me block you #BE NORMAL

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youssefguedira · 21 days ago

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I wish you would write a fic about irreconcilable artistic differences on a movie set between Joe and Nicky.

not really irreconciliable as in not solvable at all but you know i had fun with this

Joe squeezes his eyes shut, covering his face with both hands, and leans forward. His shoulders tremble uncontrollably. He takes a short, sharp breath, and another, and another, but he can’t quite seem to get enough into his lungs. There’s a lump in his throat and a weight in his stomach. He leans forward with a low, wounded sound and–

“Cut,” Nicky says softly. Then, because it takes Joe a second to hear him: “Joe, stop.”

Slowly, Joe raises his head. Wipes at his eyes and takes a few deep breaths to steady himself. Nicky’s already up, frowning ever so slightly as he looks at the camera.

“What is it this time?” Joe manages. His voice is hoarse; he has to clear his throat once or twice. Nicky doesn’t look up. The clock on the nightstand reads 01.34, but Nicky’s changed it a few times over the course of the shoot. He has no clue what time it really is, only that it’s dark outside.

It’s just the two of them in the room. Nicky had wanted to keep this one small, just him and Joe and the camera. The apartment they’re in is nice, if a little empty, though Joe supposes that’s the point. They’re in the bedroom, Joe sitting cross-legged on the bed, shirtless, sheets bunched up over his lap, a phone lying on the nightstand behind him. One entire wall of the room is taken up by a floor-to-ceiling window which lets the moonlight in, though there’s a few low lights set up behind Nicky to send bars of silver light across the bed, because the natural light hadn’t quite been strong enough for the effect Nicky wanted. It’s otherworldly; it’s beautiful.

Nicky still isn’t looking at him, so Joe says again, “What?” It comes out a little harsher than he means it to, but it gets Nicky’s attention.

Nicky runs one hand through his hair. Joe can’t see him well, not with the light behind him and the shadows in the room. “I don’t know,” Nicky says. “It’s missing something.”

Joe has worked with Nicky enough times before. It’s not that he doesn’t like working with him - they’re friends - but he can’t fucking read him, and so after the sixth take of the same scene he can’t help but take it a little personally.

Joe reaches for the bottle of water hidden just under the bed and takes a long drink, mostly to keep himself from snapping. What time is it? “I can try again, but I can’t do this indefinitely, Nicky.”

“I know, I know,” Nicky says, fidgeting again with the camera, “it’s not you, it’s just–”

“What else could it be?” Joe interrupts. He’s not stupid. This scene doesn’t work if he can’t get it right, which means the entire film doesn’t work if he can’t get it right. More than anything else, this one depends on him. No music, no camera movement, no dialogue, nothing but him and the camera. And he wants to do it right, he loves this project almost as much as Nicky does, but there’s a hollow feeling in his chest and he’s spent the last however-many-hours having a near-complete breakdown over and over again and it’s still not right. And Joe doesn’t know what it is he’s doing wrong.

“I don’t know,” Nicky says quietly. Now he is looking at Joe, and Joe can’t tell if he’s disappointed, or angry, or – or what. He’s perfectly expressionless, as always.

Joe loves this job. And he wants to get this right. But it doesn’t mean it’s not one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do, and he’s tired.

“I don’t have much more left in me, Nicky,” he says, and this time he does snap. He wipes at his eyes again, can’t look at Nicky. He’s supposed to be making himself vulnerable, above all in this scene, but suddenly he can’t stand the way Nicky’s looking at him. “Pass me my hoodie.”

“Joe–”

“I can’t. I can’t keep doing this.” He kicks the sheets off and gets tangled trying to do it, grabs his hoodie when Nicky offers it, pulls it over his head in one fluid motion and gets out of there as soon as he can. Thankfully, there’s only Andy and Nile in the other room, Andy lying back on the couch with her feet up and Nile perched on the arm of it. They both look up at Joe as he enters, both look like they’re about to ask, and Joe can’t stand it, can’t be in here a second longer, can’t–

“We are done for the day, I think,” Nicky says behind him, startling Joe. He hadn’t realised Nicky was there.

Andy raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t argue. It’s already the second day of trying to shoot this scene: they’re running the risk of falling behind schedule.

“We’ll find something else to do tomorrow,” Nicky says. “I’ll look over everything tonight. We will try this again on Monday.”

Andy and Nile look at each other. Nile shrugs.

“Get some rest, Joe,” Nicky says.

Joe shoves his hands in his pockets and doesn’t say a word.

–--------------------------------

He doesn’t get called in the next day at all, and he doesn’t interrogate it too closely. Takes the day off, pretty much, because they’ve only really got one scene left to film, and there’s not much more he can do for that. Nicky had wanted to leave it to the last, and Joe had agreed, at the time.

At about nine pm, someone knocks on his hotel room door, which is unusual on a day where they don’t have a night shoot to do. When he opens it, Nicky is on the other side. Joe lets him in without a word.

“I wanted to apologise,” Nicky says, standing in the middle of the room and looking as uncomfortable as Joe’s ever seen him. “For last night. I was pushing you too hard, and I should not have done.”

Joe closes the door behind him. Nicky fidgets with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Sit down,” Joe says.

Nicky does, settling himself on the edge of Joe’s bed, not quite looking him in the eye. Joe joins him, after a moment.

“At the risk of sounding cliche,” Nicky says, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Joe laughs, mostly because the phrase sounds so strange coming from Nicky and also because out of everything he’d thought Nicky might say, he hadn’t expected that.

Nicky smiles slightly, too. Then he gets up and heads for the minibar. “Mind if I have a drink?”

Joe shakes his head. Nicky gets out a little bottle of wine, glances at the label, and takes a swig straight from the bottle without bothering to get a glass.

“I can’t seem to get it right,” Nicky says. “You know I wrote almost fifteen different versions of that scene?”

The scene in the script itself is barely a page long. “No,” Joe says.

Nicky nods. Rubs a hand over his face. “I wanted it to feel real. I thought if I could get it right, it would… help, somehow. I don’t know.”

It’s the exact same reason Joe said yes before he even read the script, when the whole thing was just an idea in Nicky’s head, when they were talking about it over drinks at Andy’s and Joe was in love with the idea almost immediately. He knew exactly why Nicky was writing it; he knows, now, exactly why it needs to be right. But at the same time – “I don’t know if that’s possible, Nicky.”

Nicky sighs. “I know.” He crosses back over to sit beside Joe again, takes another drink from the bottle. “But there is something missing, and I cannot seem to find it. And so it does not feel real. And I know this is not easy for you.”

“It’s not,” Joe says plainly.

“But you know,” Nicky continues, “I could not have trusted anyone with this but you. If you had not said yes, I would not have done this.”

That, Joe didn’t know: he knows he’d been Nicky’s first choice, but he’d assumed that’s because they know each other well enough already. But it makes sense: the reason Nicky wrote the script is the same thing they’d bonded over.

Even still, it’s a lot. “I don’t know if I can do it the way you want,” Joe says.

Nicky looks up at him from where he’s been running his fingers over the label on the bottle absentmindedly. “If you want to stop, I can–”

“No,” Joe says quickly. “But I don’t think it’s ever going to be exactly the way you felt.”

Nicky looks away. “It is a lot to ask,” he says. “I know this.”

Joe doesn’t think; just reaches over and takes Nicky’s hand. “I know,” he says. “Trust me.”

Nicky takes a deep breath. Then he nods. "Okay."

#neon answers #materassassino #neon writes #the old guard #kaysanova #DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY (me): not at ALL a realistic portrayal of anything actually but this is about the vibes #this was originally gonna be a 2 person scene where both of them were actors #but a i dont know shit abt acting ive never done it. i HAVE however been a director all of one time which didnt really relate to this but #its more than 0 experience. anyway i was thinking about the level of trust in that relationship #i.e. joe trusting nicky to let himself be entirely vulnerable on camera like that and trusting that nicky knows what hes looking for #and in this case nicky trusting joe to take care of a story that is heavily based on his own experience #this isnt long because i drafted it at 1am then wrote the rest while ignoring my essay but . nicky cant quite let it go and joe cant manage #to let himself break down completely on camera like that. presumably after this they get it in one take #joe wins several awards and the film does super well. or it doesnt thats not the point #its abt making something to deal with personal experience #the film in question being about rebuilding yourself after moving to a different country with no ties left to where you came from #+ the scene here being a post-phone call/rejection of phone call meltdown in which the loneliness gets to be a bit much #in my head nicky never went through this Specifically but it's more of an externalisation/dramatisation of something that did happen.#anyway you know early tog metas abt joe being the more overtly emotional one and nicky acting as a balancing force bc joe feels stuff for #both of them. or maybe i made that up. anyway thats what this is #ten points if you can work out my Cinematic Influences #they are patently obvious i think

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thestereotypebuster · 3 days ago

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Meant to continue this sooner but I got distracted. Also, I'm sorry this post has gotten so monstrously long, i didn't realize you couldn't retroactively add a readmore to a reblog chain. Going forward, i will put each new addition under a cut.

With the pocket done, i then had to make room for it to actually be functional.

I extended the outline of the eye to the full size of the pocket. Originally i had it going all the way down to the edge of the foam, but i realized this would mess with the overall shape, so i shortened it.

I then cut around the outline with scissors and chipped away at the foam until i cleared out the outline area and got it the depth that i wanted.

It's in no way a smooth finish, but it doesn't have to be.

Now, remember the hat and its magnetic attachment? Well, that has to attach to something:

I used some scrap fabric from what i used for the lining and made a little pocket to hide the magnet at the top of his head.

And of course, the part you've all been waiting for:

The tongue.

Originally, the plan was to have some sort of mechanism that made the tongue stick out whenever you pulled on the bow tie. However, this proved much too complicated given the limited space. Additionally, i plan to make his exoskeleton removable, so i can wash him from time to time, which would be much more difficult if there were a lot of moving parts inside. For now, I'm just sewing it into the pocket.

What i did finish were the hands and feet.

I attached these parachute buckles with some of the leftover elastic from the arms and legs. Ideally, i should've attached these when i attached the hands to the arms, so that the unfinished edges of the elastic would be tucked inside. But, because i am flying by the seat of my pants, i just handstitched them on around the seam.

Now he can be a functioning backpack:

Or, if you prefer, the chokehold/piggyback ride:

As an added benefit, these buckles also make him more posable. So, he can sit like a good boy:

Or spend some time in the "fun zone":

Hopefully I'll have some more updates soon. For now, this will be continued in part 7.

Ooh y'all don't even know about the Bill Cipher backpack I'm making

#bill cipher #my art #Bill cipher backpack #gravity falls #gf #long post

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tentacleplains · 17 days ago

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finally got some bailey designs down that i think i’m happy with :]

unclothed under the cut. warning for. well. unclothedness.

#original post #dol #dol game #degrees of lewdity #degrees of lewdity game #bailey #bailey the caretaker #tentacle draws #if i was a stronger warrior id have done f!bailey leg hair but my wrist kinda hurts rn and i already drew the rest of the body hair by hand #speaking of which i think this would’ve been done like yesterday if i didn’t decide to do it like that. oh well.#i wanted the snake tattoo to be over the chest protecting their heart a la m*jima but i couldn’t make it look good… alas. i might do anothe #pass at it sometime but i want to get this posted Now

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radarsteddybear · 8 months ago

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S2E23 "Mail Call" / S4E01 "Welcome To Korea"

#M*A*S*H #Mail Call #Welcome to Korea #my gifs #Hawkeye Pierce #Trapper John McIntyre #BJ Hunnicutt #Radar O'Reilly #same joke!#original post #I only noticed this because I just so happened to watch these episodes back-to-back #watching 'Welcome to Korea' while frogging my crochet project like 'wait a second...didn't I *just* hear that joke?'#yes. yes I did.#new bunkmate new chance to recycle all your old material #so which is it Hawkeye? your grandfather or your great-grandfather?#I just wish I could have done this gifset so that the gifs with the joke in them were next to each other #ah well

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angorwhosebabyisthis · 4 months ago

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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao

#whosebaby talks #took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go #you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall #sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt #when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all #but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were #and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell #or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well #sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm #and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes #......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit #and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature #and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine #which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did #and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place #all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged #was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao #i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted #so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol #anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable #there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered #and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3 #the salt files #bullying cw #ableism cw

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her-canine-teeth · 10 months ago

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bad astrology by flower face

#yellowjackets #jackieshauna #ITS DONE OMG ITS FINISHED #what do I do now. with my life (ranking)#also ive decided i am gonna do literary analysis. on all of em #literally i have NO idea if anyone cares. well. i do bc I care and tbh that's enough to me #<- guys look im living so healthy #anyways this was a blast #hope somebody has at least discovered flower face trhu me bc its one of my fav artists #mitos incredible life #mine art tag #also im sorry the like long scenes 3 and 4 arent on beat :/ i love that song but it has so long instrumental stuff and idk what to do there #ALSO!! i had it all planned out like at least half in my docs (like always)#and then in the middle i was like 'omg what if I only show jackie-after-the-argument and shauna-after-jackies-dead'#(excluding the argument and the flashbacks (they used to hear us thru the floor))#which was. restricting. very much #also meaning was changed (originally wanted jackie to have the line 'idc if ure not made for me' but the only scene i could think of was th #ure hungry for and that was the next scene already so.)#anyways this was originally gonna be lottienat before i started with The Shark In Your Water #bc I thiught it fit them SO well. (still do) but now I like have to get away from the jackieshauna thought and then ill do the lottienat #probably #omg also I want everyone (who has read this far. whoever would do that) to know i was running on like 25 screen #recordings and 3 jackieshauna scene packs form yt #that's why. I dknt have that many clips alright im not using like 10 scenes over n over on purpose #gotta go but im gonna make a wrap post thingy once im back slay #no actually I get like average 7 notes (<- that's a lie Idk bc I didnt count) but im proud of myself this is amazing #ive wanted to do smth similiar alr #but it was some album by alec benjamin and a different thing for every song (like a poem‚ a painting or a play)#but I lost motivation this is the first thing that i actually pulled though all the way I think #jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water

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mortiflyer · 2 months ago

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⇓

#i don't write fanfic and don't have an interest in it but i kinda wish i did bc i'm a writer and i feel weird posting original work that i #legit want to submit for publication on like. ao3 that is nawt my territory. but also. specifically it's so easy to build a fandom bc there #already is one so if you write enough fanfic then fans of that media will translate to fans of...you...anyways. airing some #confusion about self promo...wouldn't call it frustration per se bc i have somewhat aggressive insecurity abt my work. this also applies #to traditional art bc i'm a painter but i don't put a lot of effort into fanart (not disdainful i just have a lot of personal concepts i #prefer to develop bc ik i have the tools to do so) so when i post my paintings they basically get stranded #bc they aren't always of a popular character which is not tumblr's fault i get wanting to see art of specifically your Blorbo #BUT WHERE DO I POST ABT MY JOAN OF ARC PAINTING I'M ALMOST DONE WITH...#LIKE THERE IS NO TUMBLR FANDOM FOR MISS JOAN hnnngrrrhrhh #en ee ways idk if this is necessarily a vent but how tf do i build an audience who wants to see my original work without starting from a #place of derivation...should i just suck it up and make arcane fanart and write homophobic athlete gay sex #WELL. that was really long kiss kiss mutuals.#me yapping

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sagemoderocklee · 6 days ago

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not me plotting out 2 fics i can’t even update rn… truly got the gaalee/writing bug in a big way again 😭😭😭

#i’ve gotten a good chunk of plotting for blood on the branches done #and now im finally thinking about fill in the [___]#which has been entirely in limbo for ages #the first chapter needs a major edit but i really needed to actually plot before i could do that #anyways im working on an update for UR and am continuing to focus only on fics that have been donated to as far as posting goes #i may post something unrelated when i run out of fics to update #as a way to like repromote the donation campaigns #but that won’t be for a minute #i also need to update the original donation post #cause a lotta campaigns have had to get new links #and seham’s is now closed because she got too tired of trying to fundraise 💔#anyways i know ppl aren’t rlly paying much attention to my fics rn cause i ain’t been around but i hope as i post more that changes #cause it would be nice to get more donations for these campaigns #tryna not be too bummed at the lack of comments on the ballads last update but well im not doin great at that lol 🤷🏻‍♀️#just sucks to be like a halfway decent writer but too slow for ppl to like wanna come back to a fic

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doodlingwren · 2 months ago

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It's 2024 can we please stop saying it's normal to trace or copying an entire drawing and pretending it's 100% your work? Just bc you changed the character or added clothes on a base you found on pinterest it doesn't mean you created original art

#wren text tag #tw: vent #like tracing and copying are morally grey. If you want to trace to learn stuff or practice or study it's ok ig #maybe don't post it online or if you have to... don't trace from picture/other people artworks/bases you found online w/o giving credits #unless it's a base an artist made specifically for tracing purposes #I think this depends on where you draw the line bc I'm much more strict abt copying/tracing from art rather than photographs ��#at least with photos you have to do some mental exercise for your muscle memory + simplification studies #personally I don't like tracing bc it feels lazy like are you a copyprinter 😐🤨#this vent needs some lore otherwise this looks so fucking umpromted it's almost confusing 🙄🙄🙄#kinda found out sb who was copying or tracing both from fucking pose references from Pinterest and other people artworks 😅#like poses ref ig they are ok but you should check the Terms of Condition of the original artist first. For the artworks plagiarized. DUDE #surprised no one has found out yet but if I see another copied drawing my netiquette is leaving my body and I'm turning into a HATER #or another comment like “omg your poses looks so dynamic”. I'm flying #btw I blocked them so my dash is free. Sadly we are also in the same disc server so I'm kinda cooked #thinking of leaving it so I don't have to start drama and discussions. I'm not a fan of call-out and stuff and if I can avoid it I will #btw I say copied/traced bc some are traced over while others are hopefully just eyeballed. What bothers me is the amount of plagiarized art #like almost half of those fanarts are copied poses. The other half are character standing on a white bg. I hope those aren't copied as well #it's already bad... but if only was just for the bases. That one traced artwork can almost be damaging to the fanbase reputation 🤦‍♀️ smh #there are only a few artist in that part of the fandom I don't need an art thief drama. I guess I will shut up and look away 😑#anyway that's the lore which didn't help with my Art Block. Actually it made worse. That's why it took me so long to be back lol 🤣😂😭#pov: you log on tumblr 🥰 and you have an art crisis 😍#Are u telling me I could have done that? Copying and tracing and taking all the credits instead of wasting time learning anatomy?! 🤯#Ok the last tag was sarcastic but wouldn't be funny. Loved vagueposting tho 💖🥰#And now that this post is published I can finally rest. I had this thing in drafts since September #To whom is asking about who this person is. I won't tell. I just want to forget what I saw. Ty and bye 💖✨️

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lucalicatteart · 2 years ago

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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 4: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should offer the Well Creature some bread and soup ….

"Completely unsure how to even begin to interact with the strange creature from the well, The Adventurer recalls reading in a book once that 'food is a universal language', or uh.. something like that.. thus, some hearty soup and bread would surely bridge any communication barriers... probably. He serves the little cannister of broth cold, straight from his bag just dumped into a wooden bowl, mostly because he's far too nervous to try and start a fire with someone watching.. hopefully they won't mind the food not being warmed..

After gently placing a single bread roll next to the soup, he steps back, gesturing towards the meal with an uncertain smile. The creature pauses, sniffs around, then promptly disappears back into the darkness. Just as The Adventurer begins to sulk over his apparent rejection, something stirs behind him... With a rush of creaking and plopping noises, the creature resurfaces, revealing it's massive serpent-like body as it hoists itself over the crumbled stone of the well's edge with it's many arms. It cracks open it's mighty jaw just far enough for a tiny blue tongue to slither out, then politely slurps at the soup, delicate enough not to spill any.

Stumbling backwards in shock, The Adventurer simply sits there staring the entire time whilst the creature happily (and rather quickly) enjoys their meal... Seemingly appreciative of his kind offerings, another strange slinking arm creeps up from the depths of the well, daintily opening a velvet sack with it's claws and laying out a small assortment of items onto the grass. Still a bit shaken, but also never one to turn down a free gift, The Adventurer senses that the creature intends for him to take any single item of his choosing... but, which one?"

#paventure posting #polls #choose your own adventure #what can I say.. I like the trope of a smaller creature actaully being a much larger scarier creature which you just dont see because the #creature is in a place/position where most of it's body is obscured lol #sometimes a little guy is actually secretly a much bigger guy of mysterious origins that spans the length of an entire #underground cave system obscured by the facade of a simple well #AND MOST important of all.. the cat is scared.. :( bapy...#also I hate writing for these it's so impossible for me to be short and simple with writing. I always want to make it #extremely detailed and 500 paragraphs long. Giving myself a limit of like 3 paragraphs and a time limit of 20 minutes #is actually impossible for my brain gjhbjhbhj #but I have to post it anyway otherwise I'd spend forever on it and never actually get these done but..hhhh #Just know I am going into my evil vampire library to collapse onto the fainting chair in anguish each time after I hit post #Telling a chronically longwinded details obsessive rambler to ''keep it short'' is like telling a cat not to meow. not to run around the #house at 3am. not to be round and perfect. It is simply against nature #ANYWAY. These items might be useful later. As he continues on his journey - he does indeed have an inventory in my mind #like he can lose and aquire things. has a limited amount of money. Can change his outfit or etc. depending on the choices #people make in the polls. These may not have an immediate purpose (though some can) they'll be factored in down the road

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