#which i guess is better than nothing
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I’m really truly hoping that this art block means I’m going to like come out of it with a burst of inspiration and improvement but that didn’t happen last time I had really bad art block so it’ll likely just peter out and I’ll go back to drawing like normal or something
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If only the final episode could be just about FaifaWine… they got the short end of the stick despite being the most healthy interesting couple 😩 I could watch another ten episodes focused on them…
#perfect 10 liners#perfect 10 liners the series#p10l#faifawine#p10l faifa#thai bl#p10l wine#the real question is how much am I going to skip through - Yotha and Gun are enjoyable lol but I don’t really care about the others#and frankly haven’t forced myself to watch any scene with wa klao lol I just don’t care in the slightest about them I think it’s kinda#lowkey annoying that it’s not a main couple getting the let’s propose in a big way treatment or at least a 10 liner - seems like a massive#waste of time to me. on a scale of TattooAran (perfect amount of side) to Prince (the devil of wasted footage) wa and klao are at least in#the middle somewhere I guess which is better than nothing
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Blyke and John: the Followup
In my last entry, I pointed out the similarities between chapters 249 and 121, but I had hit the image limit and wasn’t able to embed screenshots. I got around this by linking the chapters, but this is probably my favorite parallel, and to do it justice I think I need to really put them next to each other.
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
(121) (249)
It’s the same fucking scene but backwards and in a different font.
They’re the SAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!!!!!
This was definitely on purpose. Shit like this ^^ doesn’t happen by accident.
#unordinary#blyke unordinary#john unordinary#you know you’re deep in when you think you’re editing your draft and you’re wondering why the pictures are formatted all weird#Then you scroll down and realize you’re looking at the actual episode#i clicked the wrongfucking tab#T_T#I’m actually insane because when I first realized how similar Blyke and John are I denied it#I was like “nah but they’re nothing alike”#what was I on#girl wtf#AND NOW IVE MADE FIVE WHOLE ENTRIES ABOUT IT#I don’t think i’ve ever made more than one entry about a topic before#The most boldfaced lie i ever did tell myself apparently#Analysis#Blyke and John parallels#i can’t believe i just made an actual tag for that#How many times am I gonna write about this?#this one better be the last#But Really I’ve got no idea what essays my future brain has in store#Speaking of which. Essays is apparently the proper term for what I make#I’ve been calling them “little literary analyses”#which is also true#but I was trying to find a term for fan-nonfiction#nonfiction fanwork#like this#meta#and my brother was like: “you mean an essay?”#Yeah i guess that is what I mean#I like fan-nonfiction better though
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So outside of the bond quest events and main story, the characters in Azuma get pretty shallow characterization, huh?
#guardians of azuma#goa#goa spoilers#idk if it counts as spoilers but better safe than sorry lol#i didn't notice it as much when i still had main story stuff to get through but damn interacting with these characters day-to-day is boring#and like every game like this is going to reach a point eventually where you run out of new stuff and it's the same lines over and over#that's the nature of being constructs of humans who couldn't create infinite conversation possibilities after all#but that's not the problem happening here#the daily conversations are at the level of idle small talk at best#the hangout feature (which couldve been real nice) does nothing to put these characters in context (especially not for the low-level hangou#just a five second silent cutscene and an 'i liked this/i hated this'#great you wanna elaborate on that? no?#i ask you about your family and i dont get to learn more about your family or your aversion to the topic?#why even bother then? if thats the feature that means we dont get interesting chats then i wish they'd have just dropped it#and dont even get me started on the fun facts on everyone's profiles#this stuff would've formed the basis for the daily convos in other games but now it's just a little blurb#that you might get a little more context on through events if you're lucky#like murasame's apparently scared of birds? that's sure never come up outside of his character profile from what ive seen#and with ulalaka so intent looking out for him and her having her little bird there was certainly opportunities to at least mention it#even if it's not a little skit maybe a line like 'yeah i tried to get him to slow down but he went running when he saw plenty :('#or however normally cool calm collected murasame actually reacts to birds but now i just have to guess because its not in context#a small detail to get hung up on as an example maybe but small details like that are what make the convos in other games more entertaining#like jones has 4-5 daily conversations on why he hates tomato juice but is trying to aversion therapy himself anyway in 4#that's way more interesting than reading a little fun fact#it's just wasted potential and that's disappointing#like the game is trying to rush you through to the dating/marriage phase and discounting the value of the little everyday buildups#hell i started dating kaguya and at the bare minimum i would think she would get some more romantic lines mixed in to the normal list#but nope she's still saying the exact same things she was before i started dating her but with one extra line in there to summarize one of#her character events (not adding any interesting comment on the event just summarizing it)#if i just wanted a dating sim i would go play a dating sim
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i admit that i find it a little bit frustrating how Wildly Astonished other antizionist jews act when i tell them my israeli jewish family have lived in the region since [some unknown length of time before 1800 when there start being records about it]
#and then they're like ''ohhh they're mizrahi!'' [connotation nonwhite‚ virtuously indigenous]#and i have to be like. no. it's just that‚ as palestine was in fact ottoman-administered greater syria for most of the last 600 years‚#you could get there from other parts of the ottoman empire. such as the part of now-ukraine your ashkenazi family is also from.#it wasn't actually a hermetically sealed arab-only ethnostate that evaporated immigrants on sight. it was a pretty decent place to live as#a jew by at least some accounts. or better than the front of the hapsburg-ottoman war anyway which is where they were coming from.#i'm not sure who you think it's serving exactly to believe that there were literally no ashkenazim in the middle east before the 1st aliyah#however there were some. and this information does not actually threaten a modern anti-state of israel position like at all.#but since apparently you've constructed your new Diaspora-Centric Identity around the idea that 'palestine' and 'diaspora'#are the two mutually exclusive nonoverlapping regions and the former is ontologically a no-european-jews-allowed zone#i guess i can give you a minute to try to figure it out.#ugh sorry this is nothing it isn't anything. for one thing it's fantastically unimportant#and for another thing i don't know how to like talk about it in a way that doesn't make me sound at least kind of like im trying to justify#myself as being somehow less complicit or something. i mean i think my complicity as an american dwarfs the rest of it honestly but.#i just feel really insanely alienated where the rhetoric of my theoretically most closely politically aligned group is not really built to#like. accommodate the facts of my family history.#sorry. i have honestly no idea why im so obsessed with articulating this concept ive just been chewing on it pointlessly for days#box opener
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Is this small and pixely enough that it’s not a spoiler
#Asking for a friend who is me#WIP#Just Desserts#Lol#Still no TV Guide this week - last month's Monthly Goal crashed and burned so hard that it's put this month on the backfoot lol#Last month's goal was to catch up on editing#Guess what I did Literally Nothing of#Month of Ghost development? No prob. Month of YT editing? Of course. Month of Thing That I Already Fucking Do Anyway? Absolutely not#So things are on hold until I figure out how to bribe my brain to do a thing that is In The Way of posting stuff#Would love to hear any tips and tricks to unblock Task as well - have tried timers and food and play and Just Start and nope#I wouldn't expect things this week but also don't be surprised if there's something or other? I have been doing non-editing work#Brain would literally rather be doing just about anything other than editing#So anything other than that it is! New month new goal! Which makes it Just Desserts time babeyyyyy >:3c#Push comes to shove I will just post the unedited doodles and my brain can suck on the disappointment of them not being Perfect#S'how the early JD doodles looked! And those are fine! Because they're old and we're better than that says brain yes thank you#But also other things :3c Like digital doodles of the lads#Have At Least one project in mind that would be best served by everyone's cute faces being manipulable on a canvas#And also maybe memes and stuff who knows ♪ Assets like these are fun!#Do love how quickly I've tossed the worry of it being a spoiler lol#But can you identify who's there is the real question#Nooot telling ♫ Until they're done - all of them! All the every! But for Day 1 Batch 1 I'm pleased with how it's coming together :)#Anyhow - Offline Day approaches rapidly and I'm going to enjoy it to the best of my ability
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The most important thing about a Megatron ship is that it cannot end well.
#megatron#transformers#I'll talk about the ones I'm insane about in the tags I guess#Megop. Self-explanatory. Most continuities have them being besties until SOMETHING happens and now they're enemies for life.#Their relationship ends in a civil war that dooms their entire planet (and that's when Megatron isn't actively genocidal).#It is not just canon compliant that it ends badly. It is canon NECCESSARY. Most canons cannot exist without that.#Megasound. I love them so much. Even if the Decepticons won (which they don't) I still don't think they could ever be healthy.#Megatron will never be satisfied with his position. He'll always want to conquer more planets or create a bigger army or further wipe out#dissent. Alternatively if he realizes how fucked up he's made things then he will leave the 'cons altogether and work with#the Autobots. Soundwave is loyal to Megatron but she is MORE loyal to the cause in every continuity except maybe Prime.#If Megatron defects she will fight him. And if he stays loyal then she will still always be 2nd place to an end-goal that keeps shifting.#That's all without anything happening to the cassettes or all of the other reasons they are so fucked up /pos. Cannot end well.#Megarod. Jesus fucking christ I love them so much but I firmly believe that even in the 'good' ending they don't end well.#This is for like 110000 reasons but the big ones are 1) There has GOT to be resentment there on Rodimus's end. And there should be#Even outside of Megatron literally killing him (which I would actually argue was one of the better things to ever happen to Hot Rod#but that's a different post) he basically says that Megatron is worse than Zeta Prime after Megatron compliments him#for what happened on Nyon and orders Bumblebee to be fuckin scrapped and then gets used as a shield BY MEGATRON#(I might be getting the exact order of events wrong; it's been a while since I've read Autocracy)#so like Hot Rod really fuckin' hates that guy. And there's also the dozens of times Hot Rod probably lost someone in the war and#all of that shit is Megatron's fault. Then you've got the 'Megatron killing him' thing and then Rodimus actively wanting#Megatron to be tortured by OP + being upset at OP for seemingly going easy on him...yeah Rodimus hates him and has good reason to.#And obviously Megatron has improved as a person. That is the central conceit of his character in MTMTE (how much/is it enough#is up for debate). But another central conceit of his character is that his improvement doesn't get rid of all the harm he's did.#That should extent to any relationship he has with Rodimus and fits Rodimus's character as well. He cares about and loves Megatron#but that doesn't make the resentment any less visceral. There is also probably resentment on Megs's end but nothing quite so personal.#2) Megatron is still kinda in a 'self-discover/healing/redemption' era and while having that tied in so much with Rodimus is awesome#from a shipping/analysis/I just like it perspective it does not always translate into a healthy relationship.#Despite being literal millenia old Megatron is still changing a lot. We SEE him change a lot during MTMTE and it's awesome#but relationships that last are generally built on a stable foundation. Rodimus is already shaky on that front but Megatron#is NOT in a stable place right now. He's in a BETTER place 100% but he's just been through a major character arc and he needs
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God. What if Pandora didn’t want to open the box. What if she was manipulated, her hands tied to and guided by strings she couldn’t shake off. What if when she released the horrors out into the world, Hope chose to stay with her, in the box. What if Pandora couldn’t rid herself of that guilt. What if Hope couldn’t convince her that not all was lost, and that she wasn’t responsible for the strings around her hands. That she wasn’t a monster.
What if Pandora and Hope found a way to trap everything in the box again. What if Pandora couldn’t do it. What if she didn’t want anyone else to feel the guilt she did. What if she thought that trapping the horrors in the box would just doom everyone into the same cycle. What if she felt she had to break it by bearing the suffering of everyone else. What if Hope tried to convince her that it could be better. What if she wouldn’t save herself. What if Hope had to kill Pandora for a chance to save everyone, including her. What if they both were sealed in the box. What if no one ever knew what happened to them. What if their last words to the world and to each other were “I love you.”
What if the world ending was never Pandora’s fault, but in her guilt and grief she blamed herself for it, and the Hope that voluntarily stayed by her side had to take her life to save it.
What if?
#ive been sorta rotating this around my brain the past week or so.#yeah.#anyways.#i will NEVER be over this#i just. once saw someone refer to martin as the ‘humanity that they’re saving and will save them’ or something along those lines#and well. hope and humanity are kinda the same thing arent they?#hell i think in some versions of the myth hope is actually referred to as humanity#and this just started rattling around my head#but i can’t quite get the words right#im going to post it anyway. because better to have written down something than nothing at all.#but i can’t quite get the words right.#it has however also made me realize that jumanji is also pandoras box#which is kinda funny#the magnus archives#mag 200#pandoras box#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#i guess now that ive processed it for a week or so. its time to listen to the post-season content and start the magnus protocol.#actually it may have been two weeks. i don’t remember when exactly i finished it.#anyway.#its late i need sleep.#tma#the magnus archives spoilers#tma spoilers#tma s5 spoilers#tma finale spoilers#how to tag this so that anyone listening for the first time does not see………
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Drops and leaves again 😅
#i'm so very sorry#but atleast I have time to draw? 😅#it's better than nothing I guess#i made so many plans for march and most of them didn't work out...#but atleast we have some Lulu and Poppy action#one day I'll illustrate my fic I promise#until then I try to do these little sketches and force myself to upload them even though I don't think they're perfect#perspective is still enemy number one#closely followed by making the characters look like the characters 😅#but it's poppy with victorian hair again#and irish clothing#which you can't really see#but well I tried 😅#hogwarts legacy mc#poppy sweeting#luscinia plonbraw#poppy and lulu#hogwarts legacy fanart#when shadows turn to darkness
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sometimes i only want to thrive and do better to be spiteful and petty and “prove something”
#deity dialogue#which is like#a bit unhealthy i guess#but it’s better than nothing#like the people I’m trying to ‘prove something to’ wouldn’t even know anyways so why does it matter?#this has been 5am half asleep thoughts with cupid!
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took a looooooooong break from exercising (again) (tbh the periods when i'm exercising regularly are small breaks in my life) so it'd be nice to get into it again (it's sunday i'm relatively well rested i don't have anything better to do) but the thing is it's so boring. the lady from the instructional videos is very nice but still it's so boring it'd be so much easier if i could do it listening to a podcast but i'm not good at this stuff i need somebody to tell me what to do. listening to both at the same time doesn't work it's just a big mess. i tried
#attention span issue yeah perhaps it's still boring#i feel like there's an easy solution to this (ditch the organized workout just get the jumping rope instead) but like#i don't wanna just do kardio it's gonna fuck up my knee again. which is what the organized mobility & strengthening workouts were for#it's better than nothing i guess
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cute guy winked at me while he was wearing a milan tracksuit........ i might self combust
#there's a 99.9% chance it means nothing#maybe even more#do cishet guys wink at...other men? tbh i don't even know if he thinks i'm a woman or a man or. confused about my gender#there's like equal chances for all three#and also honestly i'm even uglier as a “woman” than i am if you look at me as a man#i'm slightly better if you see me as nonbinary bc i mean that's who i am. like i'm still ugly but. slightly better#he might actually even know i'm trans lol#bc (wait for this) he's the son of one of my landlords (still not entirely sure which one. that family has 600 people and half of them are#legally my landlords/ladies)#(i'm exaggerating of course)#but like at least some people in that family know i'm trans bc my legal name is still my deadname but i try as much as possible to live as#nico so i had to be like hey that's my legal name but call me nico.. and he....#so who knows maybe they spread the word lol i would hope not but do i trust cis people? absolutely not. never#anyway all this to say... what was i saying. he probably just acts like that with everyone who's around his age or worse just the women 🥲#he's so cute tho.. and i've met him a few times lately bc he's been helping out at the family shop i guess and he's always so nice to me#i mean i'm a customer so he probably has to lol he's good at it tho. better than the guy who works there all the time (his dad ?)#and the first time i met him recently i was going to pick up a package and he remembered my name?!? we never rly talked#he was like “nico right?” with the most beautiful smile.......... that's the moment i was like oh no. i never have to see this guy again#unfortunately i have 3 more times and. oh no. i can't be getting a crush that's horrible i don't want it#nico rambles#<- never has this tag been truer to the nature of a post (lie)
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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obviously that isn't to say girls mixed media series never make or sell green characters, but it is to say you'll see it done more often by the bigger guns (precure or other nakayoshi joints, and my little pony before hasbro shot their own kneecaps out three times in a row) and/or in instances where the cast is sufficiently large that they can't not do green if they want another color, and even when they do, the green character is still likelier to be less popular or be dropped/recolored in any times of brand insecurity. another example is that a 2002 nakayoshi character poll reported that mew lettuce/retasu midorikawa (the green one) was the least popular mew mew and nontransformed identity by a decent margin, and while that could just as well be attributable to her writing or presence, it doesn't help the green curse..... it's not a rule, but it is a trend.
#which is to say nothing for doremi killing their would-be green#sailor jupiter managed to dodge it better than most but she also has brown and pink going on#and also she's from sailor fucking moon which helps#i'm sure precure's had well received and merchandised greens though i'd just have to do more research#and of course since we were just talking about a green mg being recolored to yellow for merch#the yellow mew was way up in 4th place and was the most popular after the literal main character's 3 different forms#this does make me wonder how amulet clover stacks up in popularity/sales/fanart compared to the other forms#since in this case the blue green yellow and pink are all the same character so it's more down to thematic appeal.#there was never an official popularity poll i could find though#i would GUESS it's more popular than diamond at least given it has more screentime and its outfit is more appealing#i could also see the maid theme giving it an advantage but i wonder what the gap is between it and spade+heart#switch speaks
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Based on my and now a few other users (that I've seen) experiences, it SEEMS like tumblr has some sort of automated filter active currently that hides image posts from the dashboard/tags immediately upon posting if an algorithm detects (real or imagined) sexual content. I first noticed this alongside the latest wave of spambots and I'm guessing it's their method of dealing with that? (I have no way of knowing if it's been going on longer though)
There is no indication that your work has been hidden and it's not the same mechanism as flagged content. It sounds like in some cases the post will eventually show up (which suggests there might be human verification as part of the process??maybe???), but in some cases it never does.
It's definitely some sort of automated function and not a glitch, as it only happens to specific images (not at random) and covering the image with a giant censor bar, covering up any obvious 'inappropriate' bits, or putting a color filter over it (especially if it eliminates flesh tones) will allow the same image to be posted.
So far for me it has filtered frontal nudity (within tumblr guidelines), sexual looking positions (within tumblr guidelines), and some entirely innocuous shit that I can't figure out for the life of me what it's detecting. I've had no issues posting nudity that isn't flesh-toned.
There's no mention of this feature that I've can find so this is all based on guessing and experimentation (in the form of desperately trying to find a workaround lol) so don't take my word on how exactly this function works. But this is definitely A Thing That Is Happening.
#Wanted to make a post on a blog that has Followers this time because I've just encountered I think the 4th other person I've seen#this happening to and it's really bothering me#If there is a human approval process that's....Better than nothing I guess but I wish there was some transparency#I'd still be annoyed if it gave a 'woopsy daisy our poorly calibrated bot has detected SEX please wait for approval' indicator but like#it would be slightly better#Also to my brave warriors posting actual p*rn art on here which wouldn't get past a human verifier:#A workaround is to slap a color filter over it. Blue multiply layer worked for me (though this was for some pretty innocuous stuff)
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trying to finish reading dungeon meshi now that it's done and just seeing everyone in the comments talking about ships. gun to my head
#ofc anytime someone says they ship smth straight someone has to be like 'ermmmm labru and farcille are better' like. not to me.... sorry#i actually do like farcille but people are so annoying about it acting like it's 'essentially canon' that it puts me off.#tbf that why i dislike a lottttt of ships LMAO not that i'm in the habit of caring abt it too much in most media#but sometimes it just really annoys me liiike laios and marcille have just as much ship tease as farcille (if not more)#but they couldn't get naked and go in the bath together so it doesn't count ig#tbf i'm not even huge on any ships except maybe fleki and lycion. i love when two equally weird ppl love each other#also like. they already had someone in the story who was head over heels for falin and i'm pretty sure shuro and marcille act nothing alike#when it comes to her. so. eh. i mean yadda yadda subtext or whatever i guess lol but if it can just as easily read as not romantic then#i kinda find it hard to care honestly. which is why i don't really ship anything from it. which brings me back to my original point#why is that basically all people talk about when it comes to anything... it should be a garnish not the whole god damn dish#and there's soooooo much in dungeon meshi that's more interesting than romance which is basically never once a priority#anyways. i'm just being an asshole and a hater as usual so go about your business and do what you want. i'll just be mad about it alone#labru is so nothing burger though i will never understand...
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