#which i guess could work? but im not sure...

[rin-and-jade]

Love-Me, Love-Me-Nots Daisy : A Guide on Navigating In-Sys Relationships

Romantic relationship, situationship, friendship, kinship, partnership.. There's way too much to list in just one sentence!

Here's a random fact for this topic; People say first impression is reliable to know of the other person, and surprisingly they're only 51% accurate when it's about judging wether a person is extroverted. But will you be able to judge better when it comes to your own alters as you technically live in the same headspace?

All that aside, this post will address inner relationships as a whole. Use this chance to see this topic outside of the romantic stereotype that we always see! (X-mas Activity included)

FAST PASS: Not available--this is an important occasion, read the full post!

What's a "relationship" with no romance, then?

according to this quote,

"a continuing and often committed association between two or more people, as in a family, friendship, marriage, partnership, or other interpersonal link in which the participants have some degree of influence on each other’s thoughts, feelings, and actions." - Merriam Webster

Basically, it means there's atleast two people committing with the connection they have formed with each other to qualify as a relationship, no matter the form.

When it comes to systems, it is up to themselves to see alters as separate people, or as different versions of itself,, the idea still can be applied here: as rebuilding the connection you lost/dissociated with your yet-to-be-integrated personalities/facets.

Being a system is a relationship already?!

Well--yeah!

But let me explain a bit here.

As a complex living being, our brain is made to adapt through tasks that requires multifaceted thinking. This would mean you would incorporate both logical and emotional thoughts, curious and cautious perspectives, and any behavioral or social habits or patterns you have learnt which all condenses into one singular conclusion or action that seems to be the best for a current situation--which is also dependent on how your thought processes work.

That is the basic depiction of integrated thinking to agree on a solution, but for systems--this is fragmented, leaving short-sighted solutions based on each facets, which bypasses the "filter" to integrate multiple ideas as one. Now, creating many different solutions or outcomes you could take, which is equal to the amount of alters actively participating on the discussion.

I... guess you're still confused, which is why i prepared this visual representation:

This should explain everything i had described beforehand. Now im not sure if the quality is the best..

So yes, as a complex being, you had already own different views which take skills to talk it out into one unified resolution.

Especially, if your different views you have can influence what actions, feelings, or reaction you get. That's your own emotional and mental dynamic when it comes to navigating your own map of thoughts. A literal relationship with the self..!

Eg. "I love this food! But i can't eat too much or else i'll feel sick" When you have a passion of food driven by emotional resonance, you still have a logical side that completes the thought to exact a reasoning without over-eating.

A.. Self Relationship..?

It's not a cringe thing at all. Trust. No cap.

There's literally a concept named self-care, which focuses on maintaining your health, emotional wellness, and enrichment in your life. Another term accepted widely by society is a self-date where you treat yourself similarly like a partner, focuses on practicing self love--this one would talk about how do you approach your different views (or alters, for systems), as a form of self regulation and processing.

To put this within context, you're a system, and, that means there are multiple parts of yourselves (or people) that are separated through dissociative barriers. This means you are disconnected with the majority of your multifaceted nature,, which also means you do not have a good relationship with yourself.

Simply put, this is where you learn to meet your needs again. As described from the hierarchy of needs by Maslow.

--

From a more general view, a negative relationship with yourself looks like:

A sense of distrust with your gut feelings

Unable to accept certain feelings or traits of your own

Self-blame/hate

Ignoring/neglecting your emotional and mental health

Unsure of your likes, dislikes, or favorite things

Not allowing yourself to be authentic (masking)

Operates in shame and focusing on failures

Not feeling you have worth or deserving of good things

Internal suppressing (notable for alter dynamics in systems)

System things that branch out from a negative relationship with yourself additionally appears as:

Fighting for front with different parts

Oftentimes arguing, playing down other's opinion

Feeling uncomfortable around headmates

Crippling sense of loneliness/disconnection amidst your alters

Things like shame, guilt, negative opinions of others, or poor treatment often shapes an unhealthy relationship with yourself.

The reason behind this is when your external environment is an enemy (eg. instead of supporting, you're being blamed) to you and your integrity, you may consciously or unconsciously pick up behaviors where you must abandon yourself to appease others and survive better, which means you have been taught to be an enemy of your own in order to live. Absolutely not nice.

Oh god. Can i ever break from this habit?

Ofcourse you can, but oftentimes your system are not in terms with some or most alters at the first place. It is normal to have a difficult or a conflicted dynamic within your other selves, and, you totally can shift this negative relationship with your own parts into a healthier and cooperative one!

It's better to take it nice and slow--i'll briefly show the steps on how to start demolishing this tensioned dynamic:

Inspire yourself with the idea of how working together would help in tackling difficult days.

Be aware of your negative thoughts or reactions when interacting with your parts, make sure that you don't act out on it. Also take this as a sign to un-learn some sabotaging or passive aggressive behaviors!

Help bringing awareness to the collective of their reactive behaviors, and reflect what can be done to increase better communication without conflict involved.

Parts often listen to their own egos--not caring about other alters and doing impulsive things while fronting. Bring clarity to how their actions impact the collective, and even themselves at the future. This would help foster more teamwork.

After some degree of awareness and cooperation has been established, do small acts of kindness for each other to strengthen the bond. This is also a good time to give roles and jobs, ensuring trust and that your back is covered.

The rest of this phase is up to you and how your natural dynamic and system works, good luck!

Waddya think of in-sys romance then..

We've briefed ourselves on what relationship constitutes as, and what does it mean generally to systems. Which means, In-sys partners and their romantic relationship is a valid (plural form) of fostering self love, akin to self-dates.

A good cooperation with your alters means a good relationship and terms with any alters you have--wether they have a purpose or not in your system. When it comes to internal romance situations, it focuses as a specific integration that your alters are going through. This will create a fusion between two or more headmates due to the dissociative barriers between them broke down.

It takes a long way to start loving yourself after years of internal disputes and conflict which perpetuates the high dissociation with each other, don't feel ashamed of it!

Are romantic relationships mandatory?

No they are not, but they are one of the most intimate, personal forms of self bonding. You still can heal and bond through cooperation and camaraderie, and everyone's styles are different, so let's not judge 'em.

Of course, romantic relationships within your system offers some pros that a normal comrade-dynamic cannot replicate:

Deeper understanding of your alters emotionally

Getting your love-needs met when you never received any proper care

Often faster to start integrating than a typical relationship

Another way to work around negative sense of worth and habits

Definitely, with some cons too:

Some alters are not compatible together, which creates friction

Unresolved habits or beliefs that blocks them from truly embracing love and care

Often frowned upon to have in-sys partners by communities, that prevents them from fully immersing in it

It brings up uncomfortable or painful truths or unresolved trauma, then to be faced and healed from

Not an extensive list, but you now got the idea. Use this list to prepare or broaden your knowledge on what romantic relationships look like!

Lastly. Did you also know that you can have parental dynamics in your system? it is similar to the romantic one, yet now driven with a different kind of love, just like a caretaker with their child parts. They are also important to heal, and feel safer after having trauma from younger times.

Takeaway & Together Activities

At the end of the day, no matter how many daisies you've plucked, a flower can't tell what's the answer to your internal relationships--romantically or not, for your system.

How do you see system dynamics differently now? There are many lessons packed in one posts that you could bring home. I definitely think that internal relationships are rarely discussed, so i gave it my all to create this entire topic, consisting of different system dynamics!

Lastly, internal relationships don’t need to be limited to serious work--they can also be fostered through shared joy and celebration! With Christmas approaching, here’s the five-day activity plan to build your bond together as i promised previously:

DAY 1

Reflect on how far you've all come. The year is coming to an end, what are the proudest moments or milestones of your system journey this year?

DAY 2

The day after reflection, what gratitude do you have for your alters? It's best to let them know you truly appreciate their work and efforts to keep things afloat before new years--let them know you feel supported by them, and willing to support them back!

DAY 3

Discuss how you would spend the whole day with others/your partner. Do you like outings? Watching movies? Or do you have multiple recommendations to do? Even if you are limited to night time only, go for it! You deserve a day to do the things you want.

DAY 4

There's one day left before the famous holiday, Take a moment to ponder on what you could get for others--if there's no money, consider a homemade gift like a memorial art, or letters,, make sure to keep them a secret before the day.

DAY 5

Don't forget to give each other's presents if you have prepared from the day before. Any consumables are also allowed to be bought on this day. Merry Christmas everyone!

On a personal note. This post took two weeks- augh-

- c

[tapestryundone]

base princess: normal types

razor: steel types

adversary: fighting types

witch: grass types

nightmare: dark types

spectre: ghost types

tower: psychic types

damsel: fairy types

prisoner: rock types

beast: bug types??

stranger: ??? (flying types maybe...)

tsm gets anything she wants ever. shes above type-themed teams but poor type coverage across the moves. uses legendaries . grins

quiet: dragon types (lol)

hero: normal types

cheated: rock types

stubborn: fighting types

opportunist: bug types

paranoid: psychic types

cold: ice types (lol)

broken: poison types

smitten: fairy types?

skeptic: ground types

hunted: grass types

contrarian: flying types

tlq: still uses themed teams but alternates between them. AWFUL type coverage pkmn wise but somehow manages with different moves. uses the complimentary legendaries to tsm

the narrator: doesnt have a team. instead has like a single flying type or something. or a single mythical that he is working w that doesnt know how to feel abt what theyre enabling

[ink-the-artist]

forgive me if you've been asked this before or if its annoying, but how did you learn to use colored pencils like that? your art is so special to me.

ty :) I took an art class for a few years where our teacher had us buy prismacolor pencils as one of the art supplies and had us use them kinda like paints, pressing down hard right away and blending the colors together. its not how youre supposed to use them she was just trying to teach us to use color and ig this was more to the point. I picked them up again years after i stopped going to that class just bc they were there and i wanted to play around w them a bit and ended up actually enjoying it when doing it on my own terms lol

[dawnthefluffyduck]

New game interest unlocked

(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)

[puhpandas]

ideal ggy reveal for me right now is some sort of game whatever format theyd use (for example sb vs hw is very different storytelling) about vanny killing dr rabbit and it leads up to the beginning of sb at the end

[sea-buns]

even if i was all caught up on cr i dont think id be watching the ep tonight. still not even at the 2 hour mark in the fhjy ep for various reasons but mostly cuz i got trapped scrolling pinterest and sketching ideas for fig/ayda inspired earrings. that meteor shower has taken my attention hostage istg

[greensaplinggrace]

do you guys remember this. because it lives rent free in my brain every single day. this is still some of the funniest shit I have ever seen. like what do you mean no 😭😭

[arolesbianism]

GUYS.

New dupe real! Also new pod????? Olivia is that you girlie speak to me

[seilon]

I wish I could tell every young person with a uterus (especially with bad cramps and/or dysphoria and/or depression, etc) that there is a decent chance they just straight up don’t need to live with that. don’t let the stigma surrounding contraceptives and the expectation that you should just ride it out and suffer win. for the love of god if there’s a chance you can lighten or even stop your period and it’s symptoms all-together, unless there’s a legit health concern, your doctor should at least make you aware of that option. I want every young person to know that “birth control” is not just for birth control and it has the potential to make your life infinitely easier to live. do not give in to anti-pill propaganda im serious

[rosicheeks]

🙃

[sanguinewolves]

there’s genuinely nothing worse than being a grown man who can’t drive i need to learn to drive. this is Not sustainable

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Oh god.

This summer you sent our mutual friend a package, to get to me. An heirloom, a bit of camp history. Passed down to me.

And on that package, your phone number and address. Your phone number, that I had long deleted from my phone because the urge to call you was always too strong.

When I last saw you in person, you said that when you finally moved to the city it would be with your girlfriend. You would move in together. And surely, she would become your fiancee and then your wife.

There it is. On the package. Your new address, in the city.

I have to keep myself from calling you right now. You probably have my number blocked, and I truly don't know what I'd do if you answered. But I would give anything to hear your voice again.

Even if it's just you saying, "Hello? Who is this?" While her voice is in the background, asking you what you want for dinner.

At this point, I don't even need to be the voice in the background asking what you want for dinner.

I just wish I could be the voice on the other end of your phone call.

[an-assortment-of-forks]

there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.

[rivilu]

I want an origins remake/remaster so bad it's not even funny

[johnconstantinekissesmen]

not happy with how my 'meeting' w my potential new store manager went and i cant figure out if im being an ass about this