#which i get! books cost money!
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my favorite thing in Romance Discourse is the thing where people are like "I've had Enough of Smut, it feels like all Smutty Scenes are just Filler, and I Want Real Emotion, Why Are There So Many Pointless Smut Scenes"
and I'm like "I really don't feel like I read a lot of pointless sex scenes, am I just weird"
and then these people list the books they read and it's all like "Breeding the Housemaid", "Fill 'Er Up", "Manny's Bi Awakening"
#romance novel blogging#and to be clear lol first off i made those titles up and second it is FINE if you like them#i've def read some and enjoyed them#but like idk if all you read is 120-page KU novels that are MEANT to be 80% sex#it's truly unfair to act like the genre as a whole is this cesspool of unnecessary sex scenes#and to be clear i actually think the POINT of those books is sex so like... the sex isn't unnecessary there either?#idk it smacks of puritanical bullshit to me#if i was to compile an average out of the hundreds of romance novels i've read across many subgenres#and of many page lengths#i would hazard a guess that they max out at 3-4 sex scenes#which in a book that's usually 300-400 pages#is not a fuckton of page time#and if anything trad publishing is going away from more sex on the page#unfortunately...........#ofc in response indie is giving people what they want (more sex) and becoming hotter and hotter#HOWEVER.#if all you read is super short indie freebies that are meant to titillate.........#yeah it'll be more sex heavy#additionally i think some of this comes from the fact that some readers are basically just reading KU contemporaries and freebies#which i get! books cost money!#it adds up#but this does mean your pool is even more limited#idk idk it just bugs
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My stupid ass only NOW catching onto the fact that both Maya and Zatz/Maria and Manolo partially or fully died by SNAKES OF GODLY ORIGIN.
#i cant.i just cant with the jorgeverse#i bet all my nonexistent money that if kung-fu space punch ever comes out the main characters#(who are definitely either the reincarnations or descents of manolo & maria)#will get involved with snakes which will literally cost their lives#AGAIN#shower thoughts#book of life#maya and the three#tbol#matt
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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!
#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's#and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in#+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me#in the rain#I nearly fucking died#I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on#nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge#it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks#I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer#and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while#also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful#which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't#bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money#anyway. getting distracted again#do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did#and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here#sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account#I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still#I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth#I don't really care enough to look it up#the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want#if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is#also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later
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I am so lucky that the italian version of dunmeshi manga has run out of volume 1 with no current intention of a reprint. If the collection I found at Feltrinelli the other day happened to include all volumes you know I wouldve dumped 200 euros on it like nothing but I'm not gonna spend money on a collection that risks remaining incomplete forever
#I WAAAAANT A PHYSICAL COPYYYYY#is there like an omnibus available in english#whats the name of that in english#something with like. all manga chapters + little infr extras at least#i can deal with not having the world guide + daydream hours (< this is a lie but i can deal with that more than with not having the manga)#meowing to myself#i know they had a big collection of uzumaki by junji ito (which is a thing im deffo going to buy later this year)#you know how im somehow always at work? thats because i have to work extra hours to get extra money#to support my crippling 'having a roof over my head' addiction (literally my rent is half my pay ahahahaha)#but sometimes i get some walking around money to spend on manga#all my other hobbies are cheap! i enter into museums for free because of my job#i buy a lot of used books especially art books first eds cost a lot but used are often cheap and in mint condition#small artists dont have big pricsz#comics is literally the priciest hobby i have whenever i see something full price im like. whew
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i guess im being offered the job lol
#i didnt even have to interview????? here i was worrying about oh god going for an interview#but i guess not???#manager called me just now and was like hey i spoke w the people they want to know if you can start on these dates#like. okay???????#theres a week of training for me to do and then the following week id start at thee job#like an idiot as i was saying bye on the phone i only remembered then that i should have asked if it was PAID training ugh.#im assuming so . but maybe not. idk#im gonna call him back on monday to give my answer#this is it.... i may finally be free of the annoying people....#but like anything i have my trepidations. bc who know if itll work out#well thats life. as the song goes#fortunately im still within the timeframe to change the amount for my commuter benefits pretax card thing#bc the monthly pass id need for the new job#costs like less than half of what i pay now for the bus to ny#crazyyyyy. anyway i gotta do that if i decide to take the job#its more money (a little. but still more. ok its like a dollar and 4 cents more. which not a lot but still)#i get more sleepytime (always good) and im saving on commuting#plus ill only have to pay nj (and federal) taxes. instead of also paying ny yay. thats good#sorry again weighing the pros and cons onstage here#UH. what else#well a shorter commute is good but it means less reading/music listening time#although ive only resumed reading recently lol#idk. well then i could read at home and not worry about my books getting messed up#these past couple weeks ive been :( that the like 70-something year old paperback ive been taking is getting a bit rougher#only a little. but yesterday it got a bit wet bc my bag got soaked in the rain#why am i taking a super old book to work well i dont know what to tell you we have some old books#ok getting off topic. everything seems good about the new job so fuck dude i guess ill go for it#finally free of the stupid people here.... on to new stupid people (undoubtedly)#well it's probably all good then but unfortunately i always worry what if it isnt. hm
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how many breakdowns should you have about dropping out before you seriously consider dropping out. asking for a friend teehee
#shock horror. i am not asking for a friend#turns out going to uni bc you had no idea what else to do + taking a course you’re mostly interested in bc you like space#is not necessarily a good idea. who would have thought#see the thing is if this didn’t cost money i wouldn’t be so worried. but i don’t want to keep having this breakdown and eventually drop out#in like a year’s time with twice the amount of debt or whatever#rn now i keep looking on indeed like hmm. i could totally drive trains that would be an amazing idea. driving a milk float!! so slay!!#bc i realised shortly after getting here that i do not want to do a phd which basically rules out any astrophysics jobs#my mum suggested looking at summer placements but quite frankly i need to get a job over summer if i stick with my degree bc i am ✨broke✨#rn i’m saying shit like oh i’ll just write a book and get it published. totally feasible way to make some quick cash (delusional)(knows it)#november has been hell i do not have a draft let alone a book#and i’m tired and i haven’t had a proper meal since thursday and my room is a tip#i‘ve had like three conversations with my friends in the past fortnight and none of them lasted longer than five minutes#i was so fucking excited for uni!! it was going to be so good!! i feel bad for wanting to drop out bc i don’t hate it!!#i just don’t really like it either#god fucking damn it. this shit is worse than a sexuality crisis. at least they had zero real world impact bc i was an antisocial fucker#this is the rest of my fucking life!! the hell!!
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Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice
#like I get that you're financially stressed but also it feels a bit rich to complain about it when you're on student allowance (not loan)#and your parents still contribute to things for you even though allowance is supposed to be for people whose parents can't afford to help#and you get multiple scholarships a year even though you're technically not eligible for half of them anymore but then as soon as the money#comes in from those you spend it all on a brand new dress for your sister's hen's do picnic because you can't wear the same dress as you#will for the actual hen's night or the wedding. Better buy a full price one at an expensive store instead of looking in a single op shop or#borrowing one from one of your three sisters who are all roughly the same size#god life must be so tough for you getting the same amount of money as the rest of us on student loan except you only have to pay back half#like the only money you have to live off is the same as what the rest of us get + scholarships (plural) plus what you earnt in your summer#internship? how could you possibly survive??#anyway I am NOT a fan of people who are like 'oh you say you have no money for rent but you have a phone?' because that's bullshit#and the whole 'millenials need to stop eating avocado toast so they can buy a house' thing is also bullshit#however. If you pay $60/week for a gym when you have access to the free uni one (or any other gym in the country is like $20)#and you buy uber eats multiple times a week for like $30+ each time despite having a premade meal in the fridge. and you get multiple#scholarships which mean you are arguably among the more well off students. AND you impulse buy things that cost over $100 regularly#then maybe the problem is not that you don't have enough money to split the rental costs of a washing machine (<$3 each/week)#maybe you are just bad with money#which is fine like it's not like it's unfixable it's just annoying when you act like you're worse off than people whose only money is what#they get from student loan each week so they eat beans on rice for dinner for a week#because that's all they could afford (yes I know people who did this. Yes she complained more than them)#so no I don't think I'm gonna be taking financial advice from you babes because one of us has entertained the idea of a budget to help with#finances and it's not you xx#(she turned down offers of financial help/advice/books to borrow from multiple people multiple times. I 100% get that you might not want to#talk to people about it especially your friends but we had multiple books on finances lying around the flat which she always said she didn't#need. And then she'd continue to complain that she didn't have enough money#god forbid you suggest something like going to a cheaper gym (or worse. The perfectly fine free uni gym!)#again. Her gym cost $60/week for most of last year until they brought in a student discount which was 'only' $45/week#the next most expensive gym chain I can find costs maybe $30/week for the highest membership level#to get what she was getting she would only need like a $20 membership#BUT to be fair she wouldn't get such strong culty vibes at any other gym#lol anyway sorry for the rant. I could keep going but apparently you can only have 30 tags and this is the last one
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well this sucks
#my chrome book is reaching the end of its natural lifespan#Ive gotten it to last like more than a couple years at this point#but chrome books are pretty much awful devices#so I need to go out and get a laptop that's NOT a chrome book#but for one thing I've literally never owned a laptop that's not a chrome book#I saved up and bought my current chrome book for like freshman year of highschool#I waited for a memorial day sale and special pricing so I could get it on like three discounts#so aside from the cost I have *no* idea where to go about buying a new laptop#I need one that's pretty sturdy at least and preferably similar size to a chrome book#I like the way I can charge things by attaching them to my Chromebook I like the way the keyboard is set out and I like that the touch-#screen and keypad aren't that sensitive#so I need to a) find a new laptop b) have the money to buy that laptop and c) learn how to use that laptop#none of which are things that I'll be particularly good at#I just want my 130 dollar old enough to be in elementary school hunk of plastic to work forever is that to much to ask#I've actually gotten it to live much longer than normal lmfao#really hoping it'll stay functional for at least another month or two#I hate getting new tech#I’ve still got an iPhone 8 for heavens sake#You can pry it out of my cold dead hands#I should probably get a new one but like. This one works pretty much.#Nothings cracked it charges fine all the buttons work#Honestly I’d prefer a phone a shade older than this one with a seperate headphone Jack#Basically the whole design of new phones is anti-me#Wide flat smooth super thin light and easily breakable#Plus I don’t have confidence that everything on this phone would transfer over. And this is literally the only phone I’ve ever owned#This thing is a treasure trove
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I bought a book today, that is about ADHD in adults. I saw it advertised a few weeks ago and thought it was interesting and was waiting for it to be published so I could check it out. When I saw it I was so relieved because it's quite small, and the chapters are short and precise, and in the very first chapter they mention how they kept the chapters short since some people with ADHD have a trouble keeping concentration when reading books 😂😂😂 I already feel so called out!
#I skimmed through it and I recognized so many things about myself in it#getting an actual diagnosis costs a looot of money#which I can't afford#so maybe reading this book will help
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what a long day
#through a series of events out of our control we had to change plans which meant i didn’t have the car today#and couldn’t take my nanny baby to story time at the bookstore i was like :(!!!!!! about it bc wtf!#I’ve been so busy that i had to dedicate every free moment today to finishing my book club book (which i did! right on time thank you)#also had to run to the grocery store .. I’m about to be behind on drawings if i don’t get at least one done by the weekend#agh and the house is a disaster we’ve both barely been home and have a Need to do our hobbies to feel sane so ugh#However i got caught up on loan payments this week and that’s important. I guess. so this must continue.#really i should give myself credit i nanny five days a week and am preparing for artist alley and also read an entire book today like Girl.#I’m kinda venting now lol but i don’t want to spread myself too thin and get sick and I’m trying to rest but I’m not very good at it#I do however want to be able to do everything i want forever and that kinda costs money
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#actually severely depressed that i wont be able tp go see my friends this weekend because i booked the flight wrong#ive been looking forward to this for fucking weeks and now its just. all down the drain because i was fucking stupid.#and changing the flight is gonna cost so much money and its not worth it and i still have to pay that $100 for my no-show#and im getting a haircut and i have to buy a wedding gift like.#i have too many expenses to make spending an EXTRA $130 on a flight to be worth it just to see a friend for one day#im just so fucking. angry. like if i just fucking paid attention i wouldn’t have missed my appointment and had to pay that fee.#if i had just paid attention i would’ve realized i never changed the flight time a fucking month ago.#like it just feels like such small bullshit to have ruined so much and for fucking what?!?#and now if i try to go another weekend its like. i already took time off for this one#its too short notice to have everyone change their plans#it’s still gonna cost me $100+#and ramadan is coming up so i’d have to go very soon which will make it even More expensive#like. I HAD IT ALL FUCKING FIGURED OUT AND NOW.#now im out $100 and wasted $200 on a flight home to literally get to see everyone for two seconds and then leave immediately#m
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sorry I'm actually still not over when I decided to try to buy tickets to the lovejoy show in denver for this up-coming december "as a joke" bc it'd been a handful of minutes since they went on sale and I'd thought it be sold out..
and then I literally got 4 tickets in my cart fully being held for me and ready to check out and I had to let them go because a) I didn't have enough money in my account to buy all 4 tickets + the fees, and, b) I couldn't buy a plane ticket to go to another state for a lvjy concert ���
I'm still not over it like do you understand how difficult it can be to get lvjy tickets?? and I had to let them go??? aughhh
#if I'd had the money I totally would've tried to get a plane ticket though lmao#but I picked out 4 tickets bc I have 3 friends I would've loved to go with (2 of which haven't seen them live yet)#and also I was literally doing this as a joke#like you don't understand I'll get all the way to checkout with plane tickets or hotel bookings and stuff as a joke#and just to see how much it would cost#bc idk I think it's fun#but it backfired so badly with the lvjy tickets I'm still so sad </3#stella rambles
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I love when Amazon plays itself. It’s genuinely so funny
#so i have this new year’s resolution for 2023 that i’m not buying new books unless i’ve read something from the author before & loved it#and even then i’m going to check the library + any book swaps in my town just to see if i can obtain a copy more sustainably#but there’s a caveat to this. i live in a small town so if i walk into my library there’s a pretty slim chance i’m going to find#the exact book i want. ditto book swaps. tbh the book swaps are a total potluck. sometimes there are gems; sometimes it’s just gardening#and animal husbandry and outdated maps. which is fine if you like that sort of thing but it’s probably not what i’m after#so what i generally do is i place a reservation for a book at the library. i live in the largest (by area anyway) county in england#so there’s a decent chance i’m getting my book eventually. this is good! the only thing is that there’s a £1 charge for requesting a book#i don’t begrudge this because you can sort of pay it whenever. your account won’t lock you out of borrowing unless you have#something like £20 in fines. i always thought it was £10 but then my friend managed to borrow several books for her kiddo despite owing £18#so i think it must be £20+. anyway. so requests cost £1#so i have an exception on my resolution. if the book costs equal to or less than £1; i can buy it instead of getting it from the library#this is where amazon comes in. they were offering the first witcher book for £0.99 a few days ago#i already had a reservation though so i dithered for a day or so and then was like ‘i would kind of like to own it just so i can read it at#my own pace & not be pretty much forced to read it as soon as the library gives it to me’#so i went back to amazon and how much is it now? £4.99#congrats jeff you played yourself. you could’ve had 99p but instead i’m paying the library#tbh i might just make it a rule to pay the library anyway? i’d rather give the library my money than jeff#i just found it funny how they unknowingly lost out on a sale like that. evil corporation gets defeated by small town library#personal
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Homophobic that, whenever you spend money, said money disappears from your bank account... I feel like, if I spend money on actually import things, the number there shouldn't change at all, and once a month I should have the right to get a little treat and have the same rule apply
#And by important this I mean day to day food#Vegetables and meat#Rice and beans in my country#Also medicine#Any#From antibiotics to regular painkillers#Clothes at least once a year cause#Not all brands are good enough to last your entire life#I've bought 1 shirt that ripped on the first use and the color was completely gone after 1 wash#But yeah those types of things#And the treat can be whatever#Once a month I get to pick somenthing#A book or coloring book cause I'm that type of person that is 26 and still loves to color#Candy or any snacks that aren't healthy but are so freaking good and it's ok to have it every once in a while#Or literally anything I want but don't actually need to survive#I truly believe the world would be a better place if money worked like that#No more wars#Less mental illnesses#Which reminds me that it also shouldn't take from my bank account to go to doctors and therapists#If that doctor is necessary for my physical or mental health than it shouldn't cost money#Simple as that
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Car didn't pass its inspection. Hmm... We'll see what the mechanic says about how much it'll cost to fix, and after that we'll see if I still have a car or not.
#personal stuff#it costs money to own a car (parking-space + insurance) and like... i'm not really going to be using it? mostly?#it's a VERY nice option to have. and i don't really want to give that up. but also like... i'm not made of money.#so we'll see if the price is like ''the full value of the car'' or if it's just ''oof''#and after that? i'll have to make a decision about it. and mayhaps i'll be poorer or mayhaps i'll be out a car.#soooo. that's a stress-inducing thought. even if i'm not really planning on using it? mostly?#(if i decide to get rid of it i still have a month to do so. so i can run some errands that i've been postponing before that.)#but yeah. i'm really hoping that it doesn't come to that. it's not the best car. but it works (mostly).#and like... not having to look up time-tables and book tickets and stress about getting there on time and carry cumbersome bags?#it's so fucking nice to have a car. even if it costs money. and i don't really want to give that up.#''public transport-'' yeah. great stuff. if you get more than two trains per day. and can buy a ''use whenever''-card.#neither of those are true. they seem to have discontinued that card for some reason. which is insane btw.#so. ugh. i hate cars on the theoretical level of ''we shouldn't need these things'' but i love them bcs ''we still need them now''
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I spent all that time upstairs wrangling my pokemon games, brought them all downstairs to actually pick one and play it, and then spent 45 minutes looking at listings for the two I don't have on ebay
#charlie babbles#I found three separate listings for X. Y. and then the guidebook + pokedex together. for $99 total#which is I guess reasonable but still seems absurd considering that's basically what they cost new#I know the pandemic and other things made older video games blow up again but c'mon. I'm poor#do I have $100? probably yes. can I justify spending it on a non-necessity that would bring joy to only me? no#we're saving to maybe get a replacement wii u for the household christmas present and that's more but it's also gonna bring us both joy#because we already have multiple wii u games and I love to play and mom loves to watch games#whereas two 3ds games (and books yes) that only I could play and see even for 1/2-1/3 the price isn't gonna work#wah wah whine sob complain I wish I had money etc etc
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