#which i feel i need to say just bc some people on this site are weird but not in a fun or sexy way

[clandestinemeeting]

Damn, I always forget about comrade Entreri

[writingquestionsanswered]

hiya! for writers who are complete beginners, kinda sorta maybe write at a high school level, can't describe to save their lives, have overall bad flow (as in they can't decide what little moments scenes to think up and even write, if they do, they're no good), have been told countless times to write daily and just read more but that doesn't cover the basics or foundations of creative writing, not like they can learn from a book bc they're a hands on learner anyway and p.s they're super broke so can't afford writing classes and no library near them offers free ones ---- aka me :( --- do you have any advice? lol i feel kinda doomed and that maybe writing isn't for me, but I don't wanna get my hopes down!! with the right tools, it's possible.

Free Resources for Learning How to Write

I want to start with addressing why you've been told so often "to write daily and read more" as a way to learn how to write. It's very difficult to learn and excel at a craft if you have no experience with said craft. You can read all the information in the world about how to forge a sword, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to pick up a hunk of metal and be able to forge a beautiful sword. You need to spend a lot of time watching other people forge swords, and spend a lot of time actually practicing each step yourself if you want to get good at it. Writing works the same way. Reading lets you experience what fiction should be, writing lets you practice each step for yourself.

Fortunately, there are lots of ways to read fiction for free. You can borrow books from friends, family members, and members of your community. You can check out books and e-books from your local library if you have one. You can look for Little Free Libraries in your neighborhood. There's also a lot of legally free fiction available online. Project Gutenberg, Planet E-Book, Bartleby, Literature.org, Classic Literature, Classic Short Stories, Wattpad, Archive of Our Own, Library of Short Stories, Levar Burton Reads, and sites like Kobo, Amazon, and Audible often offer freebies of both e-books and audio books.

Other free ways to learn how to write:

1 - Follow bloggers and vloggers and authors on social media who talk about the craft of writing. Some of my favorites are: Joanna Penn/The Creative Penn, K.M. Weiland, Liselle Sambury, Abbie Emmons, Hannah Lee Kidder, Brittany Wang, Alyssa Matesic, Bethany Atazadah, Lindsay Puckett, Alexa Donne, Shaelin Writes, Ellen Brock, The Writing Gals, and Sincerely, Vee.

2 - Follow writing craft blogs here on tumblr: (some suggestions) @writingwithcolor, @howtofightwrite, @heywriters, @cripplecharacters, @lgbtqwriting, @fixyourwritinghabits, @wordsnstuff, @yourbookcouldbegayer, @lizard-is-writing

3 - Watch writing craft videos on YouTube: If there's something specific you want to learn about, say, "how to structure a scene," type it into YouTube and many different videos will pop up that walk you through how to structure a scene. Just look for one that strikes you as appealing!

4 - Look for free writing resources online: many authors (especially indie authors and writing gurus/coaches like Joanna Penn, K.M. Weiland, Bethany Atazadeh, Brittany Wang, and Abbie Emmons) offer free writing resources on their web sites or by signing up for their newsletters. Often you'll see writers participating in free online writing summits/workshops which you can sign up for and either watch the videos live or via video playback that is offered for a short period of time (like 24 hours.)

5 - Do a Google Search: believe it or not, there's not a single thing you could want to learn about writing that you can't find for free on Google. If you want to learn how to improve your grammar, go to Google, type in "tips for improving grammar" and you will get a million articles that will tell you how to do just that. Want to learn how to improve your story's flow? Google "how to improve story flow" and you'll have your answer. You can even search for free worksheets, guides, and workbooks on just about anything you want. "Free character development worksheet" brought back a ton of nice looking free worksheets. "Free worldbuilding workbook" brought up several free workbooks and worksheets to help you with worldbuilding. Everything you could want to know is out there.

And, bonus: you can always read through the posts in my WQA master list to get help with a wide variety of craft and writer-related issues.

Happy learning! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[pixelxgore]

hers a billfold wip as a treat i changed his face bc i have free will

The art is to encourage you to read my silly little insanity (you should totally do it btw)

I'm dyslexic so sorry if anything is spelled grotesquely wrong lol autocorrect sometimes has no idea what i’m trying to spell

Starting with my head cannon because every thing will make more sense with it (or it wont that's entirely up to you) Imma try my best to make this enjoyable

So I head cannon both bill and ford as aspec this is important for the rest trust (I'm Aroace myself so some of my words are based of of experience ) being aroace doesn't mean you can't have a toxic one-sided relationship with a triangle

(most of this is pretty vanilla but I still wanna talk about it)

I believe it started of as a one-sided relationship on fords part (wow shocker) but it wasn't really love because he's ace it was more of infatuation (this stems from the fact he is a science boy and like ooo demon triangle thing) mistaken for love (I'm pretty sure this is common among aroace people or I just had an original experience) and maybe bill had just a little bit of the same feeling but instead of infatuation it was just pure obsession and when they had there little “tragic break up” and bill finally came to realize his obsession and it consumed him (idk i think that how abusive obsession is) and he realized he can’t live with out ford (i man he can but unhealthy obsession) and thus bills one sided relationship with ford where he just tries to get his puppet back but can’t figure out why he needs him so bad so he comes to the (subconscious) cuncultion there in love (because of course that’s the reasonable decision) and then you all know what comes after

I think bill has major will wood music vibes so I have nominated three songs of his for bill ford (cuz I'm genuinely going insane over them)

This is for fun and based off my head cannons

All of my discussions are made purely of the vibes the song gives me and how cool than animation in my head looks so take everything you know about these will wood songs and throw it out the window cuz none of that is relevant :3

i saw someone say “Will Wood songs can really be interpreted in different ways, and most of them seem like wisps of similar thought rather than a concrete narrative, so you're always a little bit right and wrong when you take a guess.” and i think you should keep that in mined

(I'm gonna embarrass myself so hard (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) )

I'm not gonna elaborate much but just trust me ok I put it kind of in chronological order

fords one sided relationship with bill: ...well, better than the alternative

Ok so this one is the least perfect out of all of them cuz it only half what I want (obviously this song is a stretch but hear me out) It's mostly for the like the last half of the song (remember what I said about throwing out the meaning for get that i lied) this song about the struggle ls of growing up and is a heartfelt plea to be understood and accepted for who we are (which obviously ford was a wired kid) and this kinda ties into the one-sided infatuation because it also is about the romanticism of nostalgic love, and the pressure of society telling you to find someone and "settle down" as we get older (witch yk aroace can’t really do that) so he’s grasping at the fact that he is enamored with this demon he just summoned (because science) so he can come up with this narrative in his head of how he is in love and can finally fit at least one of the societal boxes (idk it sounds like something to me probly ooc but I'm having fun)

bills one sided relationship with ford: ¡Aikido!

obsession with someone and how people often use coping mechanisms such as drugs to help with their feelings of uncertainty and helplessness. (yes this is copied not fully of a site this is tumblr not an english assignment) it also explores the idea that love and obsession can often manifest in neurotic and even pathological behavior.(oooo oooo look i’m so smart like staring the apocalyps) i’m not this cool this whole thing started with the first like whit h is “I apologize for playing with your eyes But I’m obsessed with you” witch reminded me of how bill used for as a puppet and then yk fords whole world came crashing down (this one explained its self more i have to do less mental gymnastics) and he’s like im sooo sorry i can’t live with out you

there whole relationship from the deal to the end of bill: Misanthrapologist ("In case I make it,"

Outtake)

ok this one is the one that mostly made of vibes because the song is about an unhappy codependent relationship through metaphors of christianity, nihilism, outer space, and mozart (witch only really encompasses a portion of the relationship) the song stars with “I wanna meet your make Shake him by his ensanguined damask lapel Holler "Look what you've done Gave this planet a sun And made a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells"” which makes me personally think of obviously the deal fore made with bill and how bill stroked his ego all the way through there partnership um you can see where i goes from here just go listen to the song

ok this one’s off topic and only for my imaginary animation but the line “So how could I stand a chance, let alone dance With the way you sweep me off these two left feet?” just like imagine this with me it’s bill (human probably cuz i don’t work with the triangle) and young ford in the minedskape thing and its bill dipping ford and when it goes down it switches to bill and fort in bills pyramid thing with ford chained up do you see the vision ok I’m done now (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

[defilerwyrm]

I'm a trans man who wants phallo SO bad but the Fear Mongering people do makes me so scared. I have such a fear of surgery anyway and people say phallo is nearly 23hrs long, and it has more risks than heart surgery does, and idk if these are true bc I'm too scared to google it..But I want it so bad, but the stuff I hear scares me. Also people saying it doesn't have any sensation worries me. You said trans men can ask about it so I hope this is ok to do on anon!!! I'd appreciate a non fear filled reply so much thanks!!

23 hours!! Those poor surgeons, can you imagine!

Virtual hugs if you’re the hugging type, Anon, and a cool rock if you’re not.

Those things are definitely not true, not remotely. It’s a long surgery, but when I say it’s long that means it’s about 8 hours all told. It sounds like maybe someone heard it referred to as an “all-day” thing meaning a full WORK day, but instead assumed that that meant a full CALENDAR day. Or, you know, a transphobe made shit up to scare people.

It is most definitely not nearly as risky to your wellbeing as a surgery in which they saw open your sternum and cut open your actual beating heart. There is a fairly high chance of a minor complication that can result in the terrible ordeal of getting pee on your pants sometimes—a urethral fistula—and in most cases, they close up on their own anyway without needing another surgery to correct them. And in this case, “fairly high” means 40%, so it’s still less than half a chance that it’ll happen in the first place. At worst it’s annoying. Serious complications, the type that put you in danger, are extremely rare.

The sensation thing is also false, because they literally harvest a length of nerve from your donor site and hook it up to your existing bits specifically so you WILL have sensation! Sure, it takes a little while for the nerve to heal, but that’s just the reality of ANY surgery.

The nerve grows back in your donor site, too, by the way. While I was typing this up I discovered that one particular spot on my graft is ticklish.

Everyone has their own individual healing factor, but speaking for myself, I had full erotic sensation before the 3-month mark, and the orgasms have been incredible. The head and base are highly sensitive, and everything in between responds pretty damn nicely too, just less of a hit-the-ceiling level of sensitivity. And, you know, if you’ve handled an AMAB person’s penis much at all you’ll know that’s pretty much in keeping with how their dicks work too.

It is an in-patient surgery so if you have it, you’ll be staying in a hospital for a few days so they can keep an eye out for rare disasters. My stay was four or five days of snoring most of the day and periodically getting woken up to eat or answer some simple check-in questions, lift my arm for nurses to move stuff, etc, and then conking back out.

Being cathed sucks, but two weeks of frequent trips to the toilet to drain your bag is honestly nothing compared to a lifetime without (or with vastly reduced) bottom dysphoria. That’s the part that I hated. Everything else was your typical recovery: 10-15 days of sleeping 20 hours a day, then however many weeks of being tired, taking meds, and careful washing, gradually feeling more and more normal until you’re back up to full and ready to get back to business as usual.

Except with this one, you get to learn to pee standing up in the process. :D

(Protip: don’t try a public urinal until you’ve got it down pat at home. Not because of cis men, but because the learning process is messy, lol! The overwhelming majority of cis men in public restrooms want nothing to do with anyone else while they’re in there. The only place anyone’s gonna give your dick more than half a second’s accidental glance is in a gay bar. In 8+ years of using public men’s rooms I have yet to see one (1) penis that wasn’t mine!)

[sunsetsandsunshine]

An issue I need to address:

TW: Drama, cussing…yk all that jazz. I apologize that this post is what you all are receiving from me today. But I need to talk about this before it get’s worse.

Okay, I just want to clarify that there should be no hate being sent towards @osctwordfan for this. Hate and hurtful comments will not and cannot fix what has been done. But that does not I am not angry about it. I am mad. I am livid. Only two people on this site has been able to make me this genuinely upset and it’s frustrating that making a PUBLIC POST is the only way to get this person’s attention. 

4 days ago, May 16th, @osctwordfan started following me. Which, I greatley appreciated because HELLO??? Who wouldn’t, right? A new follower is just an awesome feeling to have. So, I checked their blog to see what they liked and we shared SO many similar interests it was almost scary. And I followed back. 

If you know me for a while, you know my whole “Hi new mutual 💝” message I send to my new mutuals. Because 1: I love talking to people and 2: I just want others to feel like they’re welcome. (If you haven’t received one yet it’s either bc you’re a little older than me or idk how to send the message. BUT YOU WILL GET ONE TRUST 💞💓💘💖💝)

And you all know how you can SEE when someone is online? Well, they were online when I texted this. And I got no response. I just assumed it was nervousness or shyness so I didn’t really question it. Until a few minuetes later they reblogged my “You can always ask” fic. 

Which, woo-hoo I guess. But my message was still not answered. But I didn’t think it was THAT deep. 

The next day, May 17th, I noticed they were online. I sent a quick “Hi” again, awaiting a response. About 5 minutes later I was met with one, except it wasn’t the one I was expecting or hoping for. 

It was a request. For a fanfiction. Okay okay cool. Coolio. You…ignore my two messages of me just simply saying a quick “hello” and you don’t answer…instead you ask for a tickle fanfiction of some turtles? 

I get people are shy. I get that. I do. But me and one of my best friends were talking about it on Insta and it made no damn sense. Following, reblogging and requesting things from an individual that’s been trying to speak with you for the past few days and you not responding and then ASKING something of them is just…weird. 

Me and one of my best friend’s convo:

So, on May 18th I saw they were online again, and so I texted the following: 

Which I felt was fine. It was straight to the point. But where my anger really emegred was when I got notifications of my fics being reblogged by the same person. AGAIN. NOT EVEN 3 MINUTES LATER.

And then May 19th they liked another post of mine. Although it was a post that you would have to DIG DEEP FOR. Because I made it a year ago and only 4 people liked it (INCLUDING ME.). So you would have to LOOK LOOK to find it. 

Then yesterday, May 20th, was just my breaking point. I was chilling, having a nice evening, talking with my fellow mutuals, writing a fic (AND FINISHING WOO-HOO) until I get a notification. And guess what? It’s just another reblog by the same person. 

Did I get any responses of my pervious texts? Nope. Not at ALL. 

I am sick and hurt of being treated as if I’m just a computer that makes fanfictions.

I am a PERSON. A human being that for the past week has been trying to talk with you. And you at fucking 16 should understand that. 

You are one whole year older than me and you think you have the right to treat me this way. Who the absolute hell do you think you are? 

Because let me get this through your head: I live in an African and Jamaican  household, and one thing that we let each other know day in and day out is to never ever let someone make you feel like you’re less. 

So when you see this @osctwordfan I am hoping you have a good explanation regarding to last week. 

@ ing mutual’s in this because this is INSANE and I am LIVID rn: 

@itzsana-kiddingmenow @veryblushyswitch

@skyloladoodles @saturnzskyzz @backy-san

@creativecutie @savemeafruitjuice

@mythica0 @leosmasktails @someone1348 @vxlepop

@anxious-lee @charismakat

@sunny-117 @odder-outlet @jamiesgotchu @ziipzeepzop-eez

@danineedshelp @pocky-dragon

@my-l0v3r-v3rse @rice-cake-teen10

[unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix]

17x03 Spoilers/Thoughts

(Not very long of a post tbh. There’s just too much to kinda unpack tho)

(TWs bc the show doesn’t really give you much, but self-harm (around 32:00) and talks of p*rn and online exploitation) I think I might make the tws italicized in my spoilers to give that heads up.

This is directed by Adam Rodriguez!

The whole case basically isn’t connected to Gold Star, I don’t think it is. There’s a mask involved now and Tara and Rossi take on the case. Rossi trying to get through the window was pretty funny tho.

Emily is off with her old neighbor (played by Paul F. Tompkins), Brian Garrity. She is trying to get him to take down some misinformation. It’s pretty funny seeing those two actually.

Also Brian gets beaten up by a group of men and Emily finds him and tries to protect him, but the police come in and see her with her gun out, so now…

Emily gets arrested and framed

I kinda barely paid attention to Tyler at this first watch but uhhh he meets a guy named Sebastian Gasper

JJ and Luke team up together but Luke is feeling absolutely guilty of what Emily and Voit told him.

Voit said from ep 2 that there is a BAU Gate, which is a site full of memes and pictures and stuff about the team. But Emily says there’s something that involves JJ in it that Luke couldn’t believe was true.

BAU p*rn. And all of it is of JJ.

JJ and Luke talk to Sydney and on their way, they talk about what’s been bothering him. It’s just so hard for him to not keep it quiet and I feel for him.

JJ talking about how good of a leader Emily is and that she knew it would be for the best anyway.

And her saying whatever Luke doesn’t tell her will be protecting her and what he does tell, she will get hurt.

JJ is aware of the BAU Gate thing since before she was a profiler, so during her liaison days. She thought it was a lot of anime on it and ridiculous stuff of the team, but something on her face the more they talked about it seems like her fear of what Luke tells her later is affecting her when she suspects it.

There’s stuff with Sydney and Voit’s daughters.

Really cute moment with Luke playing soccer which… for the sake of this being the happy thing of it all, Luke and JJ playing soccer together 🥺

Holly(?) is the one having a hard time grappling with the fact that her father is a criminal.

In one scene, she cuts herself before her mom comes in to stop her.

Sydney talks with JJ and Luke after about going into witness protection and everything they need to do.

After that…. Luke finally tells JJ.

It’s honestly better for people to watch the scenes for this upcoming storyline for JJ bc I have no other way to describe it.

But Luke tells her everything he learned from the secret, that the site was flagged by Homeland Security in 2014 (said by Emily) and Voit and his network has an updated version of it.

He tells JJ that it’s not the other agents that were on the site but just JJ.

She was the focal point of it all.

The absolute heartbreak in JJ’s whole being. Everything is just sucked out of her. And if you thought this was bad, the next scene of this is worse.

After everyone leaves the office, JJ closes the blinds to the roundtable room and checks the website for herself. It’s just…. Heartbreaking and haunting are the two words to describe it.

There’s a bunch I have on this probably on a separate post but damn CM. They really went there. And it’s the worst of the worst. (Not to compare storylines or trauma but nothing can really go beyond that)

[crimeronan]

hey what is wwaitsoatl?

oh! it's what we are is the sum of a thousand lies, my most popular toh fic by FAR and the thing most toh people here started following me for. back before i got sucked down the princess luz hyperfixation rabbit hole. it's a fic that takes more work to write than any of my others because it has an incredibly involved drafting & editing process. bc i am a perfectionist.

the premise is a canon divergent timeline wherein belos suspects that hunter lied to him at the end of hunting palismen. and completely wrecks hunter's shit forever. and infects him with curse goop in the process. and darius (who, Very Importantly, does not yet have a friendly rapport with hunter) trips over the kid's half-dead body.

and freaks.

and kidnaps hunter n takes him to the owl house. bc that's the one surefire place of refuge on the isles.

there are a bunch of emotional threads, hence why it's novel-length and not even finished yet despite being about just four characters chilling in a house together.

mainly it's about:

hunter unraveling his cognitive dissonance and cult brainwashing in an AU where he doesn't have all of hollow mind's answers; his feelings are Incredibly complicated and messy & he gets incredibly mean and snarly about it

darius grappling with the fact that his own grief and resentment blinded him to a kid who Very Much Needed Him, darius dealing with the fact that actually he never DID grieve his mentor or his mentor's dead family

darius and hunter developing a rapport in a timeline where hunter very much has Not broken out of all the cop shit that darius disdains So Much. so darius is so fucking exasperated and tired all the time

eda trying desperately to help hunter learn to live with a curse / chronic pain / chronic illness, while having very little faith in herself to begin with

luz feeling Horrifically guilty about hunter's curse and injuries, bc she thinks she should have clocked the abuse and brought him home with her or otherwise stopped it

hunter developing an almost immediate and pathological emotional attachment to luz because of her kindness, which complicates all of his complicated feelings WAAAAAY MORE

eda, darius, AND luz all desperately trying to get hunter to admit that he's been abused and that what happened wasn't his fault. you would not believe how fucking long it takes.

i'm actually really, really, Really proud of it -- it's rare for one of a writer's best works to be their most popular, but this genuinely is one of mine. if not my best work, period. there's a lot of nuance and messiness and emotional complexity and grief and arguing that i'm SO happy with.

also, despite the subject matter, it's often extremely lighthearted. some of the funniest dialogue i've ever written is strewn throughout all these serious emotional threads.

i'd apologize for how long this response is but this story is a heart project and has 67,000 published words on ao3 so far. (the chapter i'm writing rn will likely be another ~8,000 words, then there are a couple more chapters to come.) so there's a lot to say!!

it's my most popular ao3 fic for any fandom, ever, in the 12 years i've been on the site. the response has been WILD. if you sort by kudos, it's the 31st most favorited owl house fic Of All Time, the 7th most popular fic involving darius, and the 5TH most popular hunter & luz relationship fic. again, of all time. which is. insane.

people have been very kind and patient with me having been too sick to work on it for a while. there was a seven-month break between chapters 8 and 9, and if i finish chapter ten soon then there'll have been a nine-month break between chapters 9 and 10. so i don't know how many people are actually going to come back to read it, a lot of ppl have moved on from the fandom and such. but i'm extremely extremely extremely grateful to everyone who's given it a look!

[townslore]

if you're comfortable, i would love to know more about the akechi npd headcanon. i think it's a rlly interesting take on his character and i wanna learn more abt npd bc i have bpd and ig im interested in what people experience with the other cluster b personality disorders? i just kinda wanna know why you think he has it and also maybe some of the mental stuff he has to experience with it. doesn't have to be detailed or personal i dont wanna make u uncomfy! i just cant stop thinking abt this hc haha :)

im actually on a mental health break right now, but this ask intrigued me so im answering it anyway. first off thank you for staying kind throughout the whole thing :)

its kind of hard for me to really describe why i think a character has/is something, because things like personality disorders are still a wide spectrum and every person experiences things differently, and i dont wanna make it seem like theres a one-way to have npd, but im gonna try anyway!

there is a site which helped me immensely throughout my self-diagnosis, so if you want to read more about the topic than what im gonna say here, here u go:

lets start simple and the thing that makes it most obvious to me: the engine room dialogue.

people with npd can heavily rely on other people for their self-esteem, because narcissists usually have a very low one. thats why they take on many tasks ("i was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image—so someone would want me around!") and might overwork themselves for more praise and acknowledgement ("you wanted to be acknowledged, didn't you? to be loved?") because its what they need to not constantly crash. a crash is something that happens when you dont get enough supply—which can be words of affection, praise, acknowledgement, etc—and you internalize it, doubt yourself, feel disgusting and generally you get to a really low point. this is just speculation, but i can see goro having a ton of those, especially during the time the phantom thieves get popular and he becomes public enemy nr 1. thats also why i drew him thinking "i really need supply rn but i'd rather die than ask for attention" because vulnerability is also a big thing people with npd can struggle with. we dont want to be seen as weak—our narcissism is essentially a shield, so we're seen as tough, when in reality, our egos can be very fragile.

one thing that the engine room makes very clear and also other interactions goro has with akira, is that hes very envious of others who have had it better than him. especially someone like akira, who was thrown away by society just like he was, was able to move past it, found friends and is acknowledged by many people. goro is jealous of it all, and thats the thing; people with npd can feel like they're supposed to be special ( and to me, with goro explaining how he got his personas, and how he often calls others stupid, its clear that he does feel that way about himself to a certain degree ) and anyone who threatens that status, anyone who seems much more special than we are is seen as a legitimate threat. its an ugly feeling and it can make us hate even those we love for some time.

this attributes to dysregulation of our emotions too. people with npd often feel their emotions, especially negative ones, way more intense than they actually should be and have difficulty calming down due to that. negative emotions often linger for a long period of time and its hard to move on so we hold grudges. now this might come to no surprise to anyone that goro is a very angry and sad person. especially in the engine room its clear that even after the others extend their hands out to him, its difficult for him to comprehend and he still acts rather mean and calls them idiots for trying to "save" him. when someone with npd is experiencing a multitude of negative emotions, it may cause them to avoid other people or act aggressive towards them because they feel trapped. theres many explanations as to why goro is the way he is in the 3rd semester, and i dont think only one of them has to be correct, but i do think that with the knowledge of whats happening ( like: being under the control of someone else again, or having to work with people who are unpredictable and who have seen you at your lowest point ) makes him act out to keep all of them, especially akira, at bay.

in the duel against akira—im sorry i cant really quote it, i just have a general idea of it in my head rn—i read what he says in a way that makes it clear that he struggles with a superiority AND inferiority complex, which sounds stupid at first i know, but its fairly easy to explain. like i already said, a narcissist's self-esteem is usually pretty low and we rely on others to know how to feel about ourselves. theres two traits of npd that are necessary traits to have: being self-centered and feeling entitled to good treatment, and seeking admiration from others/liking to be the center of attention. so there is some kind of superiority complex going on, at least thats what i would call it in goro's ( and my ) case. we can feel on top of the world in one moment, but once we have a crash or experience intense negative emotions, its back to being the worst human being on earth. i dont think its ooc to say that goro hates himself, as some like to claim he only ever thinks hes better than everyone else. i think that just attributes to harmful stigma. with everything goro experiences in life, coping with narcissism to hide a fragile sense of being just makes sense to me.

theres more i could probably add here but this thing is long enough as is. please do keep in mind that many of my headcanons for goro are me projecting—but that doesnt mean theres no basis for it in canon as well, as i've tried to explain here. at first i actually thought he could have bpd, but i dont know enough about it to really judge that—so it could still very well be that, or both, i dont really know how it works! im rather new to this as well, and at first i was scared of doing any research because npd is so heavily stigmatized. i wish there were more people like you, anon.

if you have any more questions feel free to ask them :)

[agust-june]

Let's talk about KIM DOYOUNG...

I just came here to say if I CATCH yall defending Doyoung out here it's blocked on fucking site. I need yall Ncitzens and Kpop stans to STAND THE FUCK UP.

Out here posting pictures of ugly ass snowmen with MCDONALDS BS. GFTOFH. I saw this yesterday but Koreaboo pissed me off and these tweets of these fucking weirdos made me mad. So imma talk about it here.

Imma post screen shots of tweets and for those of you that are clearly not assholes or not delusional, let's point and laugh.

Fuck the first tweet bc though he is not supposed to be making political statement. That's what he's doing. And I will drop that man like a trash bag into the dumpster. The SECOND TWEET FUCK KIM DOYOUNG'S FEELINGS. Fuck him what about the feelings of the Palestinian fans that he has? What about the people you are actively dying from bombs? starvation? Dehydration? What about them? Out here actively making SNOW MEN using McDonald's shit FUCK HIM. AND FUCK YOU TOO WEIRD ASS BITCH.

The first tweet here. It's not about his family or friends. Doyoung is in the public posting pictures of McDonald's snowmen. He's fucking weird. And if we find out about his family and Friends they can get the smoke too. They ain't special. The last tweet on the bottom...yall spend too much online into kpop. I need people to be educated and up-to-date in the world bc what do you mean does that country exists??? I need people to WAKE UP GO TO FUCKING SCHOOL OR GET HOBBIES OUTSIDE OF KPOP PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

We knew SM wasn't shit. We knew. Doyoung, I am not shocked he's in SM. I like to give people chances but once you fuck up you fuck up. And THIS??? Oh baby you lucky SM needs you for they check which is why I will not be supporting Doyoung and I will give you the Wendy treatment bye bitch.

Hell isn't hot enough. That's all imma say.

On that note, I want to add that as a K-pop fan and Ncitizen, I am greatly disappointed, but I am not surprised. I had a FEELING someone in NCT was gonna do this bs. For once, I was hoping to be proven wrong. But that hoes to show you... we don't know these groups. He isn't the only one supporting these companies. Other idols are, too.

Here's some links to other idols

I also want to note that I will be taking my Doyoung post down even though it had Johnny in it. I'm clutching my pearls like a southern white woman and leaving. I can't get rid of the merch I bought, especially my DoJaeJung albums, but I won't be buying anymore. I understand some of these idols are under contract. For example, New Jeans they have a contract with Coca-Cola, and they just had a meal with McDonald's. That I completely understand. But ACTIVELY spending money to McDonald's and Starbucks and posting it!?!? Nah, you gotta go. Idc who you are. I don't care you have godly teir vocals you're done. It's not that hard to TRY to do something good. I am actively avoiding Starbucks, McDonald's, actively staying up to date on what's going on in the world. It's not just Palestine. It's Congo. Sudan. Yemen. If I can do all of that work a job. Go to school. Watch One Piece (an anime that actively talks about corrupt governments, genocide, war, propaganda, etc). Kim fucking Doyoung and other kpop idols can do it too. They just don't care and want to keep rolling their checks (he probably need to with that pocket change he probably getting). I AM BEGGING yall K-pop stans who still don't get it to STAND UP. Get a life. Read a fucking book. Because yall look dumb as hell, and I'm sorry, but my EGO MY PRIDE will not allow me to be dumb and continue to turn a blind eye when I know people are dying in a genocide. And for those of you saying "well just educate the idol." Baby, there's a reason why college is for adults, and it's not a mandatory if grown adults want to make the choice to learn they'll do it. These idols are GROWN it's not my job to educate adults who are older than me, and it shouldn't be your job either, especially FOR FREE.

I hope yall have a good day today, and I hope yall stay safe out there!

[sithfox]

Hey, I'm the guy that asked after the Quinlan comics (it was a while ago, dw if you don't remember). I wanted to thank you again for the Youtube playlist and mentioning the comic site. I think I've read/listened/watched through pretty much all the Vos-containing-comics that I could find at this point and my main take away is someone please get this man some anxiety meds for the love of the force, he is losing it. It was also pretty funny seeing just how different fanon Quinlan is to canon depictions bc that jedi is severely depressed and not joking around at all lol. Anyway there wasn't really much point to this tbh I just wanted to say thanks and let you know that I'd followed through on my vow to study the legends material 🫡 so feel free to ignore this but I appreciate you and I hope you're having a good day :)

I do remember you! I'm glad it was helpful - I am always in favor of people having a chance to read the source material.

You are so right though - get that man some anxiety meds and a book about Icarus because his hubris will be his undoing 😬 I think the jokey characterization came from a lot of people only seeing his TCW episode and deciding Obi-Wan needed a Funny Bestie, which...is certainly a choice.

[puppy-phum]

tag game ✨

thanks for tagging me zey @thasorns ♥ i teared up at your addition about me, that is so sweet :( i miss our dff talks too! idk what you're into these days but would love to talk about some show with you again :')

-

1. why did you choose your url?

bc am obsessed with one (1) man who belongs to another amazing guy ♥ (been thinking about an url change lately tho bc i'd like to put last twilight and the hurt it caused behind me but haven't found something else to tie myself to yet. maybe we are and phumpeem if the ending delivers?)

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

not really. the only side blog i have is my og url vishcount saved for nostalgia purposes but there's nothing on that blog

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

started on this hellsite (affectionate) on the lord's year 2013 and it shows

4. do you have a queue tag?

i don't use the queue much so no. you will only catch me reblogging like ten posts in a row when am online/in the mood and then going back to lurking again

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? 

i was into a bunch of animes and tumblr was filled with amazing fanart. i wanted to be able to look at them in peace

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

to show who my url is about ♥ mork my beloved

7. why did you choose your header?

wanted it to fit the theme. also i adore the last twilight rooftop kiss, it's one of the brightest spots of the show

8. what’s your post with the most notes? 

most likely this the untamed edit from 2020. i was truly living my peak back then :'D tbh i feel like the whole of tumblr was living its peak when the untamed was airing and when we all lost it together for the longest time after

9. how many mutuals do you have?

way too many and i adore all of them, tho i probably forget or cannot recognize most of them. especially if you've changed your url/main fandom OR i have, we might not even know each other anymore haha

10. how many followers do you have?

more than i deserve and idk what all of you are even doing here but i like feeling like i'm part of some type of crowd ♥

11. how many people do you follow?

quite recently i unfollowed some inactive blogs and blogs about things i don't really care for anymore so my follow count is a nice number of 205

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

uh. i don't really know? do some posts from my finnish tumblr (suomitumppu) era count? :'D

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

am chronically online and i open this app like a fridge

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no, not really. am not really one to share strong opinions, especially negative opinions, publicly online which i think is the cause of most arguments ppl have here. i'd rather just keep my peace and be nice

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts 

mostly i don't like doing things when am told to do them

16. do you like tag games?

yes! it always makes me happy to know that someone is thinking about me and i do find these a lot of fun to do ^^

17. do you like ask games?

also yes. i just don't often reblog those bc i don't really have a lot of interactions on this site. if i find an ask game with very interesting questions, i might forward it to kiddo @i-am-just-a-kiddo and we do it together privately to enjoy it like that ♥

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

the first one that comes to mind is hanyi @ruanbaijie who i think deserves all the recognition for her absolutely amazing giffing skills ♥ she's also the sweetest so idk what's not to follow, make her even more famous if you can!

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nope. idk if i function like that tbh. i have some huge friend crushes tho and want to be closer with some ppl a lot! not mentioning names bc am shy haha

but i want to say that monica @stormyoceans is very important to me these days. she brightens up my days and makes my whole fandom experience so much better by simply being her enthusiastic and authentic self ♥ never change!

and also jessi @oswlld who i still cannot believe is someone i can call my friend and bestie on this site. i am so happy we've gotten to share bad buddy, vice versa, and last twilight together! also happy to hear about your life at times and to just share silly things with you ♥

third one i want to mention is shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim who always manages to stand out in a positive way. we don't interact much but i cannot help but feel very giddy about their presence on my dash. they leave the best tags and every time they reblog any of my edits with their tags, they manage to make me feel like i've made it and my edit was worth the effort :'D so thank you!

20. tags?

want to tag at least @psychic-waffles @foxofninetales @hils79 @sherrymagic @srnileforme and @thitiponqs ♥ also the ones i mentioned before are free to join and anyone else who wants to do this!

[joculatrixster]

"ill admit i dont watch sos nor raft streams but im calling out ppl who r calling scott specifically abusive and ive literally never seen anyone as vilinized as scott in fics i can think off the top of my head 3 fics ive seen where scott is the vilian and portrayed as jimmys abuser which is NOT true for anyone u mentioned." You can't say Scott is the only one villainized in the same breath as admitting you haven't seen content where other CCs get villainized by the audience.

Many of the *exact same people* who criticize Scott have also come out with posts talking about how uncomfortable Sausage makes them, some of them specifically citing his behavior toward Jimmy in SOS. Of course, I can't say that's true for everyone in fandom who criticizes Scott, but in my experience people critical of Scott are critical of others, too, regardless of their sexuality. Saying the criticism is fueled by homophobia doesn't track when the people criticizing Scott are also criticizing straight CCs/characters for very similar things.

Everyone has a different fandom experience based on what circles/fan archives/discussion boards they're on, and even on the same site people can have different experiences because of stuff like algorithms and who you're following. IIRC I have seen a fic where Grian, Jimmy, Joel and Lizzie were all siblings and Lizzie called out Grian and Joel for not being good brothers to Jimmy, while the only fic I've seen with Scott being "villainized" was a short ficlet where he did something small out of jealousy that didn't have any long term effects. I have actually gone *looking* for toxic FH fanfic and not found any. (I like complicated messy relationship story lines, so I feel like toxic FH in fic form would be fun to read.) Obviously this has not been your experience, but you seem to be treating your fandom experience as if it's the same for everyone else, which it's not.

its nnot just my experience when multiple multiple ppl have spoken out about how prominent it is specifically for scott again if its just a small issue id understand but the normalization is insane, ive seen a fic where scott turns jimmy into his pet doll and he needs to be saved from his clutches. ive read a gic where scott kills pearl and wants to destroy the entire world and has jimmy as his pet who he promised to keep as long as he stayed uner his thumb. ive read a fic where scott just leaves jimmy at the alter and pearl hunts him down and lashes out violently at him and we r meant to side w pearl for attacking him bc he didnt feel bad for poor jimmy. these were not obscure fics or small fics. u seem to assume an issue others r clearly pointing out theyve seen way more than others is only something some fridnge guy is complaining about instead of perhaps something UVE missed hm? uve seen 1 fic where joel and grian r kinda shitty to jimmy and get called out ive read multiple fics where scott breaks down jimmy as a person and needs to be saved from him, ive seen multiple posts calling irl scott smajor am abuser bc of one clip, ive seen pll say jimmy deadass is uncomfortable w FH and doesnt like scott which is just weird ass behavior. yes sausage gets flack i belive this but i haven't seen a shit ton of fics making sausage break jimmy soan mentally then get killed or punished in the end for being an irredeemable abuser. ive seen multiple of that for scott or just seeing scott in general in a veryyy negative light which is clearly due to an unfavorable interpretation of his character. which is fine, but name three fics where grian is intpreted that unfavorably w over 100 kueos. no seriously show me the fics where grian dies in the 3nd and its a thing everyone is happy about in the ficand they do not mourn him at all bc they hated him. go on!

its funny how ur orignal anon nitpicked my post and ur reply again nitpicks one part of a wider post as if the point i said was even what ur replyin to, im talking fandom space but even if i wasnt im talking life series fandom while i do mention oli thats just to ponnt out that One scott clip is not Just a scott thing, girl. vilinized in life series aka what i tagged, dont be stupid here its literally just making u look stupid 😭i used grian as an example bc hes someone who acts similar in the space i was criticizing and not sausage bc i am aware things may be different in a DIFFERENT context. ur majorlyyyy derialing and not rlly proving me wrong ur just proving that u dont rlly get what im saying which is fine but also all ur points r just...not disproving anything l. ur example is 1 grian and joel being criticized in one(1) fic(which is not what vilianized even means dude but hey ill give u this u did find one somewhat grian neg fic!) and 2 a guy not even in the fandom i tagged. girl...

[dgdraws]

Maybe saying this on my 18 follower art sideblog is silly, but I want to offer some gentle pushback on the sentiment that's been going around re: notes on art and lack of engagement.

TL;DR make it your practice to be the person who rbs art with nice tags and you can build a community of likeminded folks

There are myriad reasons why online comment culture has shifted, I'm not gonna waste time pinning that stuff down, bc it's actually immaterial to my perspective, which is:

You can find or create a community of people who will lift up your art. But it requires that you participate in the culture you want to see more of.

I had been a lurker on this site for a decade. I held back participating in discussions, creating or sharing art, engaging directly with anyone outside of following blogs and rbing posts without commentary. And during that time, I made no connections, no friends, built no community.

I was afraid of scrutiny. I have felt the humiliating lurch of earnest engagement turning to dread and exposure and a deep regret of allowing myself to be vulnerable. I pulled up the ladder behind me so I would never have to hear the slightest dismissal or repulsion or ridicule from others. In so doing I also cut myself off from praise, understanding or connection. If no one gets a chance to let me down, then it's as though they're holding me up, right? Wrong!!!

I paid good money for a therapist to help me work out the lie there. The realization that I felt isolated and misunderstood because I never gave people the opportunity to show up for me was so hard to grasp. How could my safety net be the cause of my profound loneliness? But it is true. The people in my life couldn't disappoint me, but they also couldn't help me or support me or really love me the way I needed.

Opening myself up to disappointment has been a long, tough road (and goodness knows I'm not ready to let my parents let me down (again) yet). But my relationships are strengthening. My sense of identity is more stable. I am not inconsolably lonely deep in my heart anymore. Because it turns out people do show up when you give them the opportunity.

Not every time. Not every person. But enough of the time that it builds resilience. Every time I reach out and someone reaches back, I get a little braver. I trust a little more.

To bring this back around to online culture and community: I started receiving interest (and notes) after I started showing interest in others. Once again it turns out that people want to turn up for you, but you must give them the opportunity. This means making yourself vulnerable. It means taking the first step.

If you want a community, a group of people who interact w a certain set of values, you have to demonstrate it. Live those values. This is how we create culture. We choose what behavior we want to encourage and we set an example. This is as true in a workplace or a family as it is for tumblr or ao3. If your boss puts up a sign that says "we see mistakes as a chance to learn" but they punish people when they mess up, that's just words on the wall. If they accept errors graciously, if they work to suss out the root of the problem to resolve it, if they are open about their own mistakes, that is the culture.

So if we want to see more reblogs, but not just that, real engagement and chances for connection, then it starts with you.

Here's what I do that has helped me make friends and spark genuine interest in my work;

Reblog LOW NOTE art as much as, if not more than, posts with thousands of notes. Feel proud to give someone the first note on their work!

Incorporate leaving nice tags into my gratitude practice (it is a form of mindfulness! noticing what specifically draws me to art I rb both engages me more deeply with the work and makes my own art better)

Queue up several art posts from the same artist (people notice when you are consistently in their notes!)

Participate in art events like artfight, various -tobers, other challenges (as with making friends anywhere, repeated exposure leads to familiarity and chances for connection!)

Follow people back or even initiate following blogs who interact with your posts (do not approach this with a f4f mentality, only follow people you actually want to hear more from)

Set up post notifications for portfolio style art blogs (ie sideblogs exclusively for original content) so you keep up w your network/mutuals even if you're offline when they post

Low key notice what the people engaging with you like most about your work and consider expanding on those ideas. This is not about "tailor your work to an audience" it's about thinking, "so-and-so left feral tags on my post about this oc so I'll do my practice sketches of them" or "people seem interested in this storyline so let me feed off that enthusiasm and develop it more"

Don't get hung up on it when individuals don't reciprocate. Assume good faith. You never know what is draining someone's energy. Remember that you are offering a gift, your time and energy yes, but also the chance for someone to show up for you too. If it starts to feel like an obligation, reassess where you're putting that energy, but don't be afraid to be generous.

This has worked wonderfully for me. I went from a person scrolling longingly past posts about beloved mutual culture, not quite believing it could really be like that, to a person who happily gets 3 notes on my former flop posts and posts reblog bait for my besties and reblogs the bait they post for me :)

Apparently I had a lot to say! I kinda hope this doesn't break containment but if it does, please be niceys. I understand if this mindset is not available to you bc of social trauma, depression/anxiety, disability, mental illness or whatever else but please avoid venting that on this post. I love you and I hope you can get here someday, because you're worth it. In the meantime, try to be gentle with yourself and others. xoxo

[scooter-ing]

another silly rant.. . but this time its NOT about wenclair??

jesus, i just rewatched little witch academia after YEARS, and the pure sapphic energy radiating from that show is craaaazy yo. (heed my spoiler warning for lwa)

yeah so.. diakko. kay. now that that's out of the way

i actually loved akko's character as a whole, as ambitious and stupid as she is, i can totally see some of myself in her. i never saw her as a selfish person, i feel like she always considered and appreciated those around her. every time she cried and demeaned herself (especially in the second half of the show) i was like "poor baby" bc she really didn't deserve it. sure, was she a tad bit impulsive? yeah. but her character is meant to be easily swayed and convinced. like how croix convinced her to go to the wagandea tree, and literally gaslighted her into thinking she shouldn't trust chariot (ursula). as a character though, she really, truly, just tries to help people and i think you rarely see characters that are as pure as that, you know? her dream is to make people happy, not some bullshit like being the strongest witch, or obtaining some kind of object. she just aspires to fill people's hearts with joy, and her intentions are set with that only. and she tries, and tries, and tries, despite people's discouragement. so every time she cried, i cried with her. sigh.

moving on to ursula, otherwise known as chariot. i loved her older sister-mentor role. akko definitely needed someone that would keep her in line, but also encourage her in her endeavors and keep her safe. my girl was ALWAYS there to save the day (and by gOD she was so fucking hot whenever she was fighting croix). ughhh i literally groaned out loud every time she got interrupted when she was trying to tell akko about her identity. idk, i kind of have mixed feelings about the dream fuel spirit shebang. cause, chariot had NO idea it was stopping people from being able to use magic, so it wasn't really her fault. croix manipulated her. and once she found out about that, she stopped using it. im glad croix had somewhat of a redemption, but jesus she was such an asshole when she revealed that ursula was chariot. like, a royal asshole. bc that was not her secret to reveal, you know? and she left some very important pointers on the table. though, i felt terrible for akko.

mmmm. diaaaaaaaaana. diana cavendish. i had a massive lesbian crush on her for the whole fucking series. oh my god. especially in the two-part episodes where it's set in the cavendish estate? so, so, chivalrous, and dashing, and royal... and skdjhfskjlhf (totally referencing that one scene where diana defends akko infront of aunt daryl and offers her arm for akko to hold). poor akko, oblivious to like... all of the massive lesbian signals wafting from diana. she literally had big neon signs that said "akko you fucking idiot im gay for you."

all jokes (and thirsting) aside, diana and akko's growth as a pair is really touching to me. diana was never outright rude to her bc of her inability to properly use magic, i saw that she was more judgmental of her character as a person instead. (e.g the samhain festival episode in which she calls akko pathetic for "leaving" lotte and sucy before her performance). and i can totally see that it was reasonable. later in the episode, after akko finds the second Word or whatever, she goes on to think, "what is this emotion i'm feeling?" as much as i would want it to, i wouldn't say she was in love at that time, considering her harsh judgment earlier in the episode, but akko continues to grow on her from then on. i haven't mentioned this yet, but the episode (sorry that i keep saying "that episode" the site that i watched it on didn't have episode names) in which the faeries ordered a strike against the witches, was actually less goofy and funny than it was made to be. akko really took time to understand where the workers were coming from, and being their representative was really thoughtful? when diana came to tell her off, she deadass started making fun of her bc shes an aristocrat. and telling her she doesn't understand the woes of the working class bc of her wealth. which is just... so... real? and diana gets all flustered, which leads me into the topic of:

Diana Literally Only Blushed Because of Akko. she just gets all flustered when akko calls her out on her shit, like she's not afraid of her. everyone else is. even the godforsaken teachers are. she only ever truly worried whenever akko was hurt, or in some form of danger. she completely remains indifferent to everything, even when things happen to hannah or barbara she really doesn't give a shit. (at least not in the way she does with akko, she's probably loyal to her friends and shows it in her own way). which segues me into the episode "yesterday," in which akko goes "missing" and jesus christ diana's dialogue with chariot is really touching. from "akko needs you more than anything right now!" to "what could possibly be more important that akko right now!?" and "i'm more disappointed in you than i am of your past." she's just so well spoken in the most disastrous and telling moments, and it really shows how strong of a character she is. she remains level headed when lotte and sucy consult her about akko, and kindly offers them tea, along with reassurances. despite her generally not hanging out with akko's crowd of people, she's still kind and considerate when people need her. her words to chariot/ursula are so powerful because she's depicted as so stoic and indifferent but completely tells her off when she knows what ursula is doing is wrong. i hope that makes sense? from an apathetic elitist to a passionate worrywart - all over akko. and once she finds her, she basically acts as her caretaker, in that moment. and i'd be lying if i said i didn't cry, because god. diana knew exactly how to make her feel better, and man is that not an indicator to how perfect akko and diana are for each other. her confessing that she felt envious of akko's determination and closeness to chariot, and confessed to wanting to get away from akko bc of it, but ended up just getting closer to her.

in the last episode, in which they stop the missile, i was just so happy to see where their growth led them. them holding each other while doing the shiny arc thingamajig? awesome. akko catching diana when she falls? diana screaming for akko when akko falls? which inevitably leads to her falling because she's crazy for akko? really hit me in the feels. undeniably happy. joy. the parallels between chariox and diakko are like, super obvious. except for the fact that diakko was the better example, in which they worked together instead of one envying the other for their power. like how diana initially said she envied akko for having the shiny rod, and croix getting jealous of chariot bc of it too - except diana learned to accept it and support akko and work with her. bc red and blue gays. ygm.

i'll talk about andrew and the rest of 'em later bc im fairly tired but. im sorry for the excessive tangent. i likely left out a lot of what i wanted to say bc big gay brainrot, and i'll spew that out sometime later.

thank u for listening to my ted talk stay gay!!

[txttletale]

I love reading your thoughts and writings on everything--even when I don't agree with a particular stance, your thinking is so insightful and gives me a lot to grapple with. Do you have any advice for cultivating one's own ability to think critically and deeply? And any suggestions for theory or readings that you've found helpful for this? Thank you so much! 💕

ty!! i'm glad to hear it--i do try my best to be clear about what i believe & why as much as possible so it's nice to hear that i'm succeeding (esp. because i think marxist-leninists tend to be v. v. bad at this)

honestly i only have two pieces of advice which is 1. read as much as you're comfortably able, and 2. never take any preconception you have for granted. like, for me i think this started when i started doing my undergrad and realised 'oh wow newspapers just straight up lie about shit all the time'--from that point on whenever i encounter something that challenges my notions of something i actively try to drill down 'okay, on what grounds do i think this? what basic premises do i believe that lead me to think this, and what's the logical line between them?' sometimes you will be able to answer very easily--but sometimes you will run into a question mark, a missing stair, and from there you can explore the topic more deeply and come to a different position in a v. fruitful way!

it's helpful to have someone to talk out these things with, or even just to write them down into the void. start a blog (or if you dont want strangers getting mad at your thoughts) a journal. might feel silly but i guarantee that trying to explain your positions, even if it's to nobody at all, is one of the best ways to make yourself meaningfully grapple with them.

i also recommend trying to familiarize yourself with some theoretical lenses--not that you should immediately adopt one wholesale, but you should familiarize yourself with the bases of some models of how the world works, so that you can follow different trains of logic & evaluate different explanations for positions before discarding them. this isn't vital for the project of interrogating your own positions, but it provides a structured & easier way to do it than just kind of trying to blindly fumble through your own ideas.

(& obviously make sure you don't fall into any of the like, classic failure modes of being self-critical of becoming, like, a neocatholic trying to find penance and atone for all the Secret Bigotry in your heart or so on. i have never done this or anything like this but i feel the need to say this just bc i do see people on this web site especially be prone to this kind of thing and want to be clear that like assigning a level of moral guilt to having flawed presumptions and challenging them for yourself is self-destructive & not useful to anybody)

good luck, & remember that critical thinking is a skill like any other that requires development and practice, not a moral virtue or an inherent trait of the chosen few

[bnhxx]

I have GYAT to start writing about my best boy Carlos,,,,,members of the jury, it's time

SO MY MAN MY RESPECTFUL POOKIE 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Personal

[Edit]: okay I took the liberty to actually organise this bc it was just verbal diarrhoea ksjsksj

Also this list is NOT exhaustive bc im always thinking up more shit about this man sksgdhdbd

- Man's got game but honestly I think if you did some cute n wholesome shit he would kagsishshw. Like he would have such a GOOFY smile on his face and eat that shit up. Gifts, handmade things, compliments, letters or little sticky notes you leave for him, it really bolsters his confidence. Not that he needs it, but it feels special and makes him warm and fuzzy inside.

-Whether you're always like that or it's a sometimes thing he's gonna tease you though.

"Aww, ya big softie,"

-like he's spent majority of his life in militias and such, he's not used to softness. Apart from the softness and protectiveness he showed his little brothers, and the softness that was shown to him by his mother-which was fleeting at best considering most memories of his childhood would be filled with the thievery he'd resort to to keep his family alive. Hes never really been encouraged to show it, either way-its seen as a weakness.

-and it's not to say Carlos is suffering from good old toxic masculinity, he holds sm respect for Jill and yes she leans into the more hardass fem cop role to protect herself and yes he also STILL flirts w her but tbh the fact that he's respectful and let's her brush him off without getting mad, that's still a big step imo

-bc he's literally been around those types of people for most to all his life. Raised by a militia, basically, and toxic masculinity is so rampant there simply because it's a good coping mechanism for having to fight and kill ppl all the time? Just, switch off those emotions. Don't feel bc you might go absolutely insane with the guilt if you do.

-so yeah, Carlos, though he certainly doesn't seem to be in the chokehold of toxic masculinity, he's still very much affected by it.

-But I think he'd lean on those around him in his journey to healing that sort of fight flight mode, all day, every day, macho man w a cigar hanging out of his mouth type persona.

- He's very much a, if I didn't have the people around me to support me, I wouldn't have gotten this far type of person. And he'll do the inner work if it means becoming a better version of himself.

-like my man's saw Umbrella and was like yeah nah fuck that

-and that takes GUTS. Tyrell really was right when he called Carlos a balsy such and such he has courage for days. So in conclusion he definitely would have the courage to go and heal for himself and others. 100%.

-Definitely takes me as the gym bro to make friends with everyone at the gym. He's there to shred and sometimes he's a little show off but hey, he worked for his gains why not show em off y'know?

- He'll also be the first to rope some asshole in if they're making someone uncomfortable. He likes going to the gym and he'd hate for it to become a place with a bad vibe, not on his watch!! So if he's in the gym is just chill vibes

-theres these dudes on tiktok that are gymbros but they're constantly playfully flirting or making dirty jokes w each other that's Carlos lol.

-I think Carlos would also like hiking. He wouldn't mind camping, so long as he's got a good group to go with-(that usually makes or breaks the camping trip imo) but he prefers to take a hike. The views are worth the pain, he says, trust me!

(You'll believe him when you get back to the picnic sites and he brings out the lunch he had prepped bc you wouldn't go without it jabsjshsjs)

"You're food is what's worth the pain, not the view, Carlos," (he would call you a gremlin for this but it's worth it to see his silly smile)

-Also, cooking!!! Carlos LOVES cooking it's canon. He prefers cooking for people because being able to see his friends or s.o's face when they try his food makes all the hard work worth it. He also gets to spend time with everyone which is a bonus! So if you're friends or dating, expect big dinner parties. As rowdy as they can be they're actually quite chill once everyone's had some of Carlos' special in their belly (we all rubbing our tummies like 🤰🤰🤰 after that food baby kahsisbsj)

Ideal type.

-ON that, he's very family oriented. Because of his upbringing and how he was raised to his personality, but yeah-man's had to fight for his family from day 1 p much. So big protective older brother vibes here. He'd definitely make a good dad!

-I can only see him as a military man bc of his upbringing 😭 but this man is DEF having a reflective moment at the end of RE:3 like while Jill's freaking out bc bye bye Racoon City and trauma he's like,,,okay idk if this life is the one I wanna LIVE so I think he dabbles his toes in a bunch of odd jobs here and there while he's in hiding, post RE:3.

-Like he learnt a LOT of employable skills from the military and he'd definitely go up the ranks but he??? Doesn't know what he really LOVES to do so??? He tries a lot of things tbh.

-In saying that his social circle is WILD. Like I'm talking he picks up a random person off the street, brings them to a party with some of his work colleagues and old workmates from his other job and everyone's Like WHAT do we all have in common 💀

-you know big silly man and you're all gonna love his cooking that's what!!

-he is a silly goofy guy he loves to joke around, but not at the expense of others!! So, he's actually got a lot of friends. They type of person that had loads of friends but only a couple of really close ones ngl.

- Also likes to make mundane things fun by inviting his friends. He's the type to call his friend up like, let's go grocery shopping together bc I hate doing this alone 💔

-and it's a two in one bc his friend is there!!

- I think his ideal type is someone whose not afraid to stand up for what's right. Assertive and forthright are bonuses, but at the end of the day he seeks someone whose moral compass aligned them with the good of people, or someone who cares about community, and others. Someone who, if they see something wrong, won't just look the other way.

-assertiveness and forthright is hot asf in a woman and he loves to see it!! (You and me both brother whew 🥴)

-I think also he comes from a background that's very community centered? So the whole individualistic culture of America and Western cultures would be a bit,,,strange. He'd at least want someone who is willing to have a community mindset bc he just wouldn't vibe too well w someone like that in the long run 🤧 Like it's not like he hates it but how??? Are you alive??? You live like this bro??? Y'all Western countries good????

- deal breakers for him are family, blatant assholes lmao, cheating, and gamblers.

-Hes pretty goofy too underneath it all so he'd want someone who he can be silly with. Someone who won't judge on that, who even plays along with him. He'd adore someone who he can just be silly with. My silly big guy.

-like PLEASE at least crack a smile at his jokes he would low-key take it personally if you didn't laugh or crack a smile when he's joking around or being silly (he would take it VERY personally but he'd stay chill on the outside lmao)

- he plays around a bit after RE:3 bc man's 21, like, what did you expect. But he's also upfront about what he expects from the relationship and expects them to be, too!

- I think he'd be the type to get jealous, if his s/o had a different life than his. Like, white picket fence, smart (this I'd big bc nowhere in Carlos' backstory does it say he had a formal education past military training 🥲), homebody type. Like, he feels almost out of place in their life. Like a stray they picked up off the road, and he needs reassurance that your not just there for his looks and his yummy beefy arms (but yes, he admits they're a plus)

-So someone who's in tune with their and others emotions would be great for him! An attentive s/o who isn't afraid to call out his jealousy (gently) and lovingly remind him that he's the only one they want. ESPECIALLY if it's looking like a long term relo!

-also he'd want someone who shares some hobbies bc he loves doing things w ppl he loves! So if you're not a nature person then honey, you got a big storm coming.

-also I think he'd give it a pass if you has opposite hobbies but you love learning about his ‼️‼️ like when he comes home from his camping trip his s/o is like, so, how was it? Or they're sharing him little camping tips and tricks online or cooking recipes, just show they're interested and talk about his hobbies even if they aren't into them. He'd love this just as much ‼️

-I actually think he'd do really well adopting kids too, because, if he can give a kid a better life?? Tbh just pitch it like that his whole 'for the blood of my family name' would go down p quick bc if he could save a kid from living a childhood he had to he would no light reaction ‼️

- family, because he wants to have a family of his own. He wants to have his own blood if he can which is strange my guy but I respect that. Sort of in a more traditional sense of like I survived and now my family will live a better life type mentality, keep the family tree going y'know?

- If his partner could not/does not want to have kids though I think he would try other forms like surrogacy or ivf or even adoption, because if he found someone he really loved at the end of the day a family isn't simply determined by blood. It might take him a while to get on board with tho but stand on business he'll wrap his head around it eventually.

-again, sort of going off the point earlier but just shitty or selfish people is a no go. Like not caring for others to the point of blatantly putting others at risk to get what you want, not feeling bad about it at all? that's a no no. Obvious reasons here, he fought against impossible odds to put the middle finger up to Umbrella for what they did soo what did you expect?

-cheating, because honesty is key. Cheating is pretty unanimous but like, Carlos is the type to not forgive that. Ever. How could you cheat on the baby boy like he's been through ENOUGH YOUR HONOUR 😭😭😭

-kind of unrelated but I have his dbd voice line of "You're gonna be okay, I promise," in my mind at all times of every day kahsjek

-gambling, because it's such a throw away of large amounts of money. It just doesn't seem right to Carlos. Addiction is hard to break, he gets it, but particularly in large amounts-gambling is just lowkey disturbing to him. He grew up poor so could not be him betting the chance to eat on huge amounts of money. Like he's desperate but he thinks gambling is a scam. Bc it is kshsidjd.

-ALSO there was this tiktok comment on how he paces infront of his s/o's house with flowers to hype himself up and ‼️ yes ‼️ he would so do this it makes me wanna cry thinking about it.

Misc.

-LIKE I could be in the clutches of the ENITITYS realm and still feel good bc Carlos is there, he may move like a turtle in dbd but my man's moving mountains keeping the team together give him a pass ‼️

-everyone saying bring Carlos back to re, capcom you left us in a cold, cruel, Carlos-less world, but, BUT....let's just imagine for a moment my man finally found peace after re3 and is just on a beach sipping mimosas. He deserves this he's spent his whole 21 years of his life fighting, give him peace I beg!

-let's live in the delulu that my man's finally got a break from all that shit 🤱

- I want him to just RelAx, take a load off, sit back and enjoy the sunshine after everything bc 😭😭😭