#which i don't. lol.
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#i thiiiink 8.#but i have one coming up in a few days and one next year#i'm also not counting ones that my parents dragged me to that i didn't really want to go to#they took me to a bunch of grateful dead or phish concerts that i don't particularly care about#and also took me to see weird al twice which was fine but like. not something i ever asked for or particularly wanted#ive seen a queen reenactment bandâ marina and the diamondsâ car seat headrestâ idkhowâ MCRâ death cab for cutieâ hot mulligan x2#and i'm seeing PTV in a few days and MCR again next year#my friend bought the PTV tickets and i did a payment plan for MCR LOL i cannot afford these#but i promised my bf i would take him to see MCR if they toured again bc i went to the reunion tour with someone else#polls#submitted#queued#concert#concerts#music#shows#hall of fame
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you could not pay me to care about what's been going on lately in hi3rd
#bobtalk#opened it for the first time since sirin released (it's an au version of her but she is my favorite nonetheless) and mann the ui change#it's lost its spirit. the g/enshin impactification... well. it's been on that train for a while#i miss hi3rd's small focused cast. and protag who is a character. im fond as fuck of starrail femc tho she's on my team as much as possible#anyway immediately closed it. opened star rail (also been a while on that front. last opened for kafka rerun. forrr like. 2 days. lmao)#(didn't get her the first time (lost 50/50 for c1(? what do they call it in star rail) bronya. which is fine. she's a hi3rd expy which is a#plus for me! lmao. don't care for this new mei's design but i also haven't met her. starrail in general has lots of samey designs)#(my team has seele and bronya on it which makes me go :) definitely not peak performance (wish i had silver wolf. and a good healer) but :)#checked and it looks like next new character is a quantum harmony which should have good seele synergy. especially if i had silver wolf.#which i don't. lol.#yeah kafka wouldn't've fit my team anyway...<-said with puppy dog eyes. yeah okay she's just hot that's the only reason i wanted her#maybe it's good i didn't get her because the only dot character i have to match her is fuckin. sampo. who i want Dead.#idgaf about a single guy in this game except welt and that's just because he's literally the same guy as from hi3rd. and my friend.#ok a couple of the other dudes are like. fine. im chill with dan heng...that's about it LMAO.#one of these days i need to reread hi3rd second eruption which is fucking peak <- sirin's biggest fan#you REALLY couldn't pay me to redownload g/enshin.#oh my math test? dont worry about it <3 ok? yayyy
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âResurrectionâ
#pimsriart#pimsriart2023#I have been playing so much path of titans ahhhhh#dinosaur is my childhood hyperfixation lol#but i literally don't know anything else#i'm dumb and science can't get into my brain pls don't ask me which dino are they bc i don't know DX#dinosaur#uhhh#iguanodon#i think#and some#raptors#birds#the text is from mahler's symphony no2 finale
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the face of a man who neither regrets his answer nor is aware of his imminent violent demise
#and the funny part is that all of them are right#also. despite appearances I don't actually ship Vlad with either of them!#all of my art about these three is intended to be platonic. except for canon JxM of course!#i just try to make sure they're all in character which automatically means they're gonna be Like That lol#danny phantom#vlad masters#jack fenton#maddie fenton#college trio
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and i wonder: do you see her in the back of your mind in my eyes?
i see her in the back of my mind. all the time. (feels like a fever. like i'm burning alive. like a sign.)
#arcane#arcane spoilers#jayce talis#jayce arcane#viktor arcane#jayvik#my edits#gif#gifset#amanda apparently confirmed that viktor was projecting his partnership with jayce onto sky and#this whole thing feels incredibly insensitive right now#i don't think tumblr get this ref but whatever lmao#i will never get over jv wanting eo and choosing eo over anyone and anything#which led to them dying together#yaoi so good idgaf they âdiedâ lol
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I've been collecting pottery shards from the fields and woodland since I moved to the countryside a few years ago, I have so many now that I think I'll relocate them to containers, but it's nice to get a proper photo first.
#before this it was seaglass lol#the population of my village is like <200 and most of them are over 70 and don't go out so there aint much on the floor#its slim pickings out here for things from the living#but the dead leave plenty...#I find (animal....) skulls quite often but it's a bunch of effort to clean them but man if I had time#I do have a couple tho!#I also found a couple horseshoes out here which is always exciting
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Nami on the brain!
#it has been a hot minute since I did fanart#an OP one on top of that#my recent art studies really influenced this piece#I'm not even doing lineart anymore#which might be my best skill#anyway egghead nami#some outfit design changes just cause#design is not my passion so don't flame me LOL#one piece#o0kawaii0o
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sad: falling out of a hyperfixation
tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it
#oughhhhhhh#this is about the dca fandom but also about every other strong fixation ive had over the years lol#i know it's normal and inevitable esp for less popular works or minor characters with little canon content#and there's nothing wrong with smaller communities of course those rock#but thereâs just something special about getting into something at the same time as a lot of other people all at once#and existing in this chaotic fandom space that's just bursting with creativity and passion#i've been in fandom spaces for as long as some of you have been alive and i've only come across that sort of unbridled joy like#a handful of times at best#it's just a heartbreaking feeling to see real lightning in a jar fandoms like that wither away as people drift away#(understandably so!)#anyway don't mind me i'm just having thoughts#musing about fandoms past as well#that i too eventually moved on from but remember fondly even if im not active in anymore#also my music just aint hitting right so im just sitting in silence which makes me more Contemplative(tm)
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Itâs finally done, guys â five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)
Yeesh, this took forever. <:)
Thereâs probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D
(Yes, I am aware the Gatewayâs door isnât present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. đ )
anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao
Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:
Iâm calling it the Revival AU. Itâs not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL
Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:
The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.
They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AUâs real ending. And by âtheyâ I mean just the Lamb, because they werenât about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:
In other news, hereâs the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing âskillsâ:
Meanwhile, if youâre wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:
Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)
Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:
And by âproblemâ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz heâs a petty bitch like that. :D
what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly theyâre standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two arenât in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)
And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, Iâm sure yâall would love to know how the Lambâs followers felt about the brand new change in management:
It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.
Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks itâs funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder arenât actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD
Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once heâs in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) Heâs finally free, and 2.) Heâs equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. Heâs definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep whoâs wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.
Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which Iâm sure at least a few of you might shareâŚ
Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D
Theyâre also 100% a sub, obviously
Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic
The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, itâs so hot~ OuO
Hereâs just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes yâall might have for it:
Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:
Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you donât understand that, then youâre probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)
Last but not least, have these shittens:
~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.
The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, Iâll just say â likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where Iâm accepting commissions and donations if youâre especially generous⌠ĂuĂ
Now, BE FREE IF YOU AINâT DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES
First ramble is re: Baalâs question of âDid it really work?â, since I didnât feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and itâs arguably pretty vague? He doesnât ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (heâs still technically not at full power here, either). Itâs not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.
I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.
All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now â something that I headcanon isnât possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crownâs cooperation with its bearer/vessel).
(On a semi-related note, I donât headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)
Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... đ¤
Next ramble, regarding Narinderâs feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasnât originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it â after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower heâs ever had, he decidedâŚwhy put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.
He wasnât expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)
I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company â if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamuraâs game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if theyâre killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.
So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadnât chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadnât chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, donât worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followersâ devotion isnât anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.
Final ramble, regarding the Lambâs feelings towards Narinder, and why theyâre so devoted to himâŚ
Well, you donât spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, thereâs something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life â go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)
They werenât put off by Narinderâs thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either â theyâre not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. Itâs a very âtwo sides of the same coinâ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didnât care for the position of authority, though â being a sheep and all, theyâre much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinderâs need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinderâs posturing was just that â posturing. Dudeâs 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.
(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal â Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. âI outsmarted Shamura!â he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. âWhat do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?â he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)
But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough â if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what heâs saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. âDeath is of little consequence.â âFollowers are for you to use to your advantage.â âSacrifice a follower to absorb more power.â So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.
Heâd given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that â so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crownâs power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, theyâd accept his decision gladly.
Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense â romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.
The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c
And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinderâs marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ÂŻ\_(ăˇ)_/ÂŻ
oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AUâs lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it
Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didnât like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)
THATâS ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl shitten#cotl mystic seller#cotl aym#cotl baal#aym and baal#this is why i have been especially quiet lately XD#even just the bonus stuff took several days to finish because i don't know the meaning of DOODLE anymore apparently#everything must be fully inked and colored with backgrounds I Fukken Guess#at least using medibang's sumi brush keeps me from focusing on making my lines perfect :\#and yeah i copy-pasta'd a lot of my own backgrounds don't at me bro#if you're on desktop and want to full view but don't know how: right click the image - open in new tab - zoom in as needed :)#feel free to ask questions about the AU if you want - but uh - this is basically the extent to which i've thought it through LOL#edit: oh right - aym and baal really out there assuming narinder already put the lamb's soul to rest so the body's just fodder now lmao#last edit i hope: fixed the transparent cult certified freak image 8|#nope - one more edit: there is one (1) loophole for how living mortals can be in the afterlife without dying#that loophole is currently narinder XD#'sorry universe but the god of death says i can be in here so back off with your rules and regulations'
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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?
At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.
I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.
#politics#i don't know much about sĂŁo paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA#as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD#and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol#i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually#i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks#distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D#i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long
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tarpit site.
#personal#delete later#for context a tweet i made in the middle of the night blew the fuck up and brought the attention of anime fans who've been#harassing and hassling me about my big factual blunder for an entire day straight#âok i'll apologizeâ âbro it's not that serious.â#âyou're right it's not that seriousâ âwhy won't you just admit that you're wrong and apologize!â#i'm not going crazy right. i feel like i'm getting manipulated into thinking i must've been wrong#it's crazy how twitter hate will trick you into believing saying something someone else disagrees with is a moral failing#sorry i haven't seen frieren i guess but what's it to you. i wasn't making a claim or statement#also because nobody has gotten this in the original post i wasn't talking about the quality of animation i'm talking about solid drawing#which is a very specific principle of animation. dandandan has really good solid drawing wherein all the characters are animated#with realistic and proportional 3d depth. newsflash but trigger doesn't prioritize solid drawing in their animation and that's fine#it's an aesthetic choice and has ties to production limits. none of this is a big deal. this is all so stupid lol#i've dealt with worse and more annoying weebs though it's fine i'll put on my clown nose twitter needs their stupid guy for the day#oh btw at the end of the day this doesn't matter. it'll be over by tomorrow. all that's happening is petty angry emotions.#so please don't involve yourself by jumping into the argument and prolonging this shit#i'm about to go on a date with tulli after being apart for a month this is the furtherest thing from my mind rn
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IMO
i make a lot of very fluffy, sentimental, art~ but i need everyone to know just how much i fucking hate these two (adoringly. with all my heart.)
#arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#they're both just the worst#and they absolutely deserve each other#which i say lovingly#cuz you don't have to be perfect to be perfect for someone else#jayce is so full of love and just wants to be the goodest good boy so badly that he completely fucks everything up at every turn#and viktor is such a fucking good-hearted~ self-loathing~ reckless asshole with no faith in anybody but him and jayce#it's a wonder that they managed everything they did#probably because they had each other#i mean~ if you're gonna fuck up so bad that you end the world#better also be the only two people who can un-fuck it up#arcane spoilers#in my tags#where i carry on and on~ lol#pidgy drew#digital art#artists on tumblr
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been chatting with a friend who's playing through PN2 again and i want it to be known i will not hear anyone say a WORD about Hollis giving Raz a hard time at the beginning of the game. if anything she is OUTSTANDINGLY accommodating to this random ten-year-old who wandered in unattended off the plane in the middle of an extremely tense situation
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#like come on look at it from her perspective. she's stressed and overworked#her boss (who she's covering for) has just been brought in practically comatose#and she's just been informed there might be a mole in their spy organisation. which is kind of a big deal#and then this kid shows up out of nowhere like 'hi! i'm your new agent!! :D'#honestly she has every right to tell him to take a hike lol#but she doesn't! she sees his enthusiasm and commitment and decides to hear him out and get him a place in the intern program#even at her worst and most stressed she's someone who wants to /nurture/ that enthusiasm and that talent#and i think that's really important to understanding her character#she's great. she's a great person and a great teacher and everyone should appreciate her. the psychonauts don't deserve her
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Some random sillies for the funsies
The og thingys
#deltarune#utdr#noelle holiday#kris dreemurr#spamton#fanart#my art#My lineart is not consistent at all#like whatever comes out will be whatever comes out#I have no say in the matterđ...#Anyways which one do y'all prefer? I can't change it lol but it could be fun to know if there is a preference#or maybe y'all don't mind either#that's a choice too
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so i wrote a book that comes out soon and having that be real feels like falling down stairs because i wanted this since i was 7 years old so now what do i want after it.
so tell me why today all i care about is the word trundle, that the word trundle exists. of course i have things to do and emails to send and a world of suffering to protect but today my brain won't let me look away from the sheer linguistic improbability of trundle.
i saw a truck doing it. i imagine animals did it first. or people maybe. to trundle comes direct from old english. cows do it on occasion, but more often sheep (in my experience). someone had to name lope and someone had to name slog. the verbs to run and to leap make sense; they are singular and important distinguishers.
but we can bask rather than relax. we can scuttle rather than crawl. sometimes when i move in dance class it is to undulate rather than roll. someone had to name things like sonder and whimsy. of course we had words for tangible things like tree and grass and root. i love those words, i'm eating them.
i don't know the word for this thing. where it's real-now. sometimes i feel it when i am dating someone i actually like-and-love and i realize that is real, i am dating them and it's real that i like-and-love them. sometimes i have this feeling when i have been planning a vacation or an event for weeks-and-months and it finally happens - the feeling this is happening, it's happening right now.
it happens randomly sometimes too. i will be at the carnival or at an ice cream stand or with the last light of summer in my hair and i will feel it again, that sense - i have waited my whole life for this, and im finally experiencing it, and i need to pay attention to it.
but it's real! how amazing! how horribly tragic! it's real. it exists. the moment is here.
i have no idea what to do with it.
#link to book is first line#writeblr#i lost my car my phone my job my laptop#all in the span of 9 months#so no otherwise stuff isn't going well lol#luck seems to work like that for me#.... i have BIG luck.#i don't get to decide which side of luck i fall on#i am either STUPIDLY lucky. i mean should-have-died#or i am STUPIDLY unlucky. i mean. my phone saw the ocean jumped out of girlpockets . and took a dive#PS updated the link idk why it didn't work sorry!!
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i feel like i failed you.
#me? sobbing my eyes out about these two again? it's likelier than you think!#featuring an exercise in actually doing backgrounds and lighting for once! hooray!!#also i don't actually know what the official name of the track is yet. so let's just call it zack in sector 5 for now lol#gets the point across#ffvii#final fantasy vii#ffvii rebirth#zack fair#cloud strife#zakkura#my art <3#my music <3#phew.#this. uhh#took a while.#which is to say i started AND finished both the music and the art TODAY#do not recommend! don't be like me. take breaks lol#in my defense! i had an idea and i NEEDED to get it out of my body or else i would die. you know how it goes.#anyway uhh. enjoy!
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