#which i didn't think was that tall??? like it's tall but it's not

[yuujispinkhair]

CHRISTMAS IN THE COUNTRY

Cowboy!Sukuna x Reader (female). Fluff. 800 words. Minors don't interact. Mentions of cigarettes. This drabble is part of my Cowboy!Sukuna series, but you don't need to know the main story to read it. Divider by @/issysh3ll

In the past, Cowboy!Sukuna never joined the annual Christmas tractor parade that all the other farmers and cowboys around your small town participate in. Sukuna thought it was stupid and cheesy, and after all, he had his reputation as the lonesome, bad boy cowboy who was more likely to be the Grinch than Santa!

But that was until you found your way into Sukuna's heart. You moved into his ranch and brought Christmas with you. And now you stand before him with that fucking cute pout on your pretty face and practically beg him,

"Kunaaaa, please you should join! Just think of how happy it makes the little kids to see all the decorated tractors!"

Sukuna huffs at first, while hugging you to his tall body, craving your warmth after he just came back from fixing the fences in those freezing temperatures,

"I don't care about those random kids."

"But you care about me, and I know you want to make me happy, right? And it would make me very happy to join that Christmas parade with you, baby."

Fuck, how could he say no to you when you give him those puppy dog eyes and that sweet smile? Sukuna laughs, grabbing your chin with one hand, and he leans down to bring his face closer to yours, grinning as he whispers against your lips,

"You are not fighting fair, baby."

His lips claim yours in a slow, teasing kiss before Sukuna pulls away again. He cocks his head and tips his cowboy hat,

"Alright, I'll drive to town and run some Christmas errands for you, ma'am."

And you laugh and blow him a kiss, telling him to drive safe just like you always do, always so sweet to him. Always worried about him, wrapping him in your love. Sukuna is already walking towards his truck, lighting a cigarette, when you open the kitchen window to yell after him that you'll cook his favorite dinner while he is away and some Christmas cookies, too. Sukuna wonders if his cheeks hurt from the icy wind blowing in his face or from how much he is smiling.

He drives to the small hardware store you used to work in before you moved into Sukuna's ranch, and he returns to you a few hours later carrying several boxes of fairy lights and LED decorations in various shapes and forms.

You laugh that sweet laugh Sukuna loves so much when you see him,

"Oh my god, Sukuna! I didn't think you'd buy the whole Christmas section!"

"Well, my girl said she wants to participate in the Christmas parade, so I will make damn sure I have the best fucking Christmas tractor there is!"

The left corner of Sukuna's lips twitches, and a second later, he breaks out into laughter, too. He lets the Christmas lights drop to the kitchen floor when you fling yourself at him, and Sukuna wraps a tattooed arm tightly around your waist, pulling you against him, smiling when you get on your tiptoes to kiss him.

Sukuna keeps his word, just like he always does when it comes to you. He spends hours in the barn decorating his old John Deere, wrapping it in fairy lights, and fixing the blinking Santa and reindeer figures to the roof.

Sukuna thinks it looks absolutely horrendous. A big blinking Christmas monstrosity. But then you walk into the barn and gasp and stare at the all-decked-out tractor. Your eyes shine even brighter than the crazy number of fairy lights that Sukuna just attached to his old John Deere. And he thinks to himself that it was all worth it.

Sukuna climbs into the tractor, extending a hand to you, which you take, and he pulls you up and into his lap. You are surrounded by hundreds of blinking fairy lights that cast the inside of the tractor into a colorful, festive light.

Sukuna's arms wrap around you as he presses play on his phone, which is connected to the tractor's radio. The Christmas playlist you shared with him starts playing, filling the inside of the tractor with your favorite Christmas songs.

"Is this what you had in mind, sweetheart?"

Sukuna asks, his smile clearly audible in his low voice. And you turn around so you're straddling Sukuna's lap and look at him, reaching out to cup his tattooed face with your small hands, beaming at him happily,

"Yes, this is even more than I had in mind! It's perfect! Thank you so much! Merry Christmas, baby. I love you."

"I love you, too. Merry Christmas, princess... but there's one more thing."

Sukuna points up at the little mistletoe that he glued to the ceiling earlier and that's dangling above your heads now. You chuckle while Sukuna grins his most charming boyish grin at you, waiting for you to kiss it off his lips with a sweet, long Christmas kiss.

And for the first time in his adult life Sukuna thinks that Christmas is truly magical.

SIGHHHHHHH oh how I missed Cowboy!Sukuna 💗💗 I went to a tractor parade, and of course, all I could think about was Cowboy!Sukuna, so I HAD to write this cute little drabble!! I hope it made you happy, too.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all my fellow Sukuna lovers 💗

[lulu-fic]

𝚂𝚄𝙻𝚃𝚁𝚈 𝚂𝙴𝙳𝚄𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽

Synopsis: Your boyfriend just cheated on you. But you can't just let him get away with that, can you?

Warnings: Cheating ( not by y/n), swearing, sfw, mdni

Wc: 2.1k

An: My first published work. Genuinely nothing too crazy just dipping my toes in water but dw next chapter will be something 👀 also the ending is a bit rushed because I was sleepy 😛

Aggressive typing sound echoed through the walls of a dingy restroom, accompanied by someone's sobbing hiccups. That certain someone was you. Who would have thought your so-called lovely evening would end up with you crying in a stall of a dirty restroom? When you thought your life was finally rainbows and sunshine, god had to give you a reality check.

Flashback

"Here's your order, sir! That'll be $6.80." You said with your fake polite voice to the customer. The said customer took his coffee and fished in his pocket for cash. He finally handed you the required amount and exited the cafe. "Huff god today is draining me." You say. You check the cafe's clock and see it's 2:00 pm. "*Sigh* Still couple of hours to go." You think. But you did not let that bother you.

You are in your most optimistic energy today. Well, today is your most awaited date with Nick, your boyfriend of one year. Your experience with dating him has been nothing but nice. And you believe he's the one. You're finally going to propose him today.

"Y/n! Give me a hand here!" You're pulled out of your day dreaming when your co-worker calls for you. "Yeah, coming right away." You yell back. "*Sigh* life is good." You thought and smiled, resuming with your day.

Time skip

It's 5:13 pm. Your shift is almost over. God, was it a busy day today? You never had such a hectic shift. "Well, my shift is finally finished." You think. You were about to start packing up for the day when the bell jingles, indicating someone had entered the cafe. It was a man.

He was intimidatingly tall and it kind of scared you. His jet black styled hair fell on his face, covering some of his features. He wore a overcoat over a three-piece suit. Perfect attire for the chilly weather. Even though he looked like a gangster. When he finally looked up, it seemed like the time has stopped.

He looked enthernal. He had sharp features- somewhat neck-to-shoulder length hair, strong jawline, siren eyes straight nose, high cheekbones- everything about him was breathtaking. He also had light eyebags, giving signs of late night work. And his lips, god his lips. He had thin, soft looking lips, like rose petals. As if the Adonis himself craved his face. If you weren't so much of a loyal partner, you would have definitely shoot your shot. But he seemed oddly familiar to you.

"What would you like to order, sir?" You ask with your most professional voice, making sure there is no tinge of emotion. "A black coffee and a chocolate muffin, please." He said. And god if you already didn't thought he was attractive, now you definitely do. His voice sounded mature, rich and gravelly. His voice was a little rough too, it felt like he spent years smoking through his stressed moments.

"Y-yeah, right away, sir." You nervously replied. Yep, now you're definitely cursing your whole existence for stumbling in words just because you thought a guy's voice was hot. Seriously, what's wrong with you?

You turned around to make his order, which wasn't some rocket science. It's just a plain black coffee. But it actually felt like that. The man just kept watching you, observing your every move. How you ground the roasted coffee beans, how you brew the coffee, how you pour the coffee into the cup. No matter how much you tried to ignore the staring, it felt like he was boring into your soul. God damn, you didn't feel this nervous even on your first day of work. Ugh!

But you forgot to ask him a crucial question, will he takeaway the coffee or drink the coffee in here? You turned around to see him...still staring at you. "Will you takeaway or drink it here, sir?" You ask. He didn't reply at first. He just kept looking at you. Okay, now you're creeped out. "Sir?" You call out again. This time he's finally out of his whatever dreamland he was in.

"Will you takeaway or drink it here?" You ask again. "Um, takeaway." He replied. You nod your head and kneel down to take out the chocolate muffin from the freezer. Genuinely, he didn't seem like a guy who would like sweets. But oh well who are you to judge someone's taste bud? You take out a white cupcake box and put the sugary treat in it. When you're finally ready with his order, you extend it to him on the counter.

"That'll will $9 dollars. Also I'll be needing your name for the bill." You say. He still just kept looking at you. Okay, now he's starting to annoy you. Why he's looking at you like you're some kind of piece of meat? "Sir?" You call out again. He still didn't reply. "Hello, Earth to sir?" You wave your hand in front of him to grab his attention, which you finally did.

"Oh, yes?" He politely ask, while blinking twice. "Your name?" You ask back with a irritated voice. He chuckles at something.

"Colter Hunt."

God, Even his name was hot. You quickly write down his name, to make it seem like you weren't just fangirling on his name. Suddenly a black card comes in front of your vision. You look up to see him holding it out with his index and middle fingers. Your attention averts to his wrist which is adorned with a silver Cartier bracelet and Rolex watch. "Damn," you think, "so he's rich rich." You add after.

You take his card and inserting it quickly in the card swip machine, telling him to punch in his passcode. He type in his passcode and takes out his card after the transaction was completed.

"Have a good day, sir!" You say, back with your professional voice. He takes his order and was just about to exit the shop when he turned around to look one last time at you, and then finally leaves.

Huff, a hectic day it was.

At the Restaurant...

You are finally at your most awaited destination for the night. You open the gate to the restaurant and are greeted by the receptionist. "Good evening, sir. How can I help you?" She asked. "Uh I have a table reserved for two under my name. Hong it is." She checks her computer real quick and give you your table number with a polite smile. You thank her and go inside.

You see Nick already seated and waiting for you. You quickly take your seat. "Sorry for being late. I had a customer last minute who was taking some time." You quickly apologize for being late. "So, what should we order, huh?" You ask while picking up the menu. "Well I wanted to try the main course of here for long time. I saw the review online and they said it's very good, even the customer service. Oh and the dessert choices are also-" You stop with your rambling in the midway when you notice Nate not responding to any of your babble. He seemed to zone out. "Hey, Nick? What happened baby?" You ask. He breaks out of whatever dreamland and finally looks at. "Huh? What did you say?" Ugh why's everyone seemed to zone out today?

"I asked did something happened. You seemed lost." You repeat. "Oh um no- I mean yes- uh I don't know." He babbles. You make a puzzled face. "What do you mean?" You ask. "Did something happened at work?" You ask again. "Uh yes- I mean no but it was someone from so technically yes but no." He again keeps puzzling his word. "Nick what are you even talking about? I don't get it." You say in a baffled voice.

"Ugh, y/n I don't know how to say this but I have been wanting to say this, but it's just I never got a chance." He explains a bit. "It's okay. You can say now." You say. "Maybe he will be the one who's going to propose me." You think with a happy voice.

"I-I...I sleptwithsomeoneonemonthagoatHalloweenparty."

"What? What did you say?" You ask not understanding his "explanation".

"I-I...y/n I slept with someone. A month ago. And I-I just feel more attracted to her." He finally says it.

"What." You depanned. "Y/n, I'm sorry! I tried to tell you this multiple time but never got a chance and-" he tries to explain but you raise a hand to make him stop. "When was it?" You ask trying to keep your temper at bay.

"At halloween party of my office." He nervously admits. "So someone from office then, huh?" You interjected. "Yes." He confirms, not trying to make eye contact with you. "Who is it?" You finally ask. "Huh?" He looks up at you baffled. "Who. Is. It." You grit your teeth.

"Rachel." He breathes out. You exhale a breath of air you didn't know you were holding. The chair makes a screeching sound as you slowly get up. "Y/n I-" He tries to utter something but you beat him to it by splashing a glass water on his face.

"Do. Not. Tell. Me. Your. Filthy. Excuses!" You yell grabbing the attention of other customer. You finally leave that place, ignoring the calls of your name from behind. You stop at your pace and take a turn and make your way towards the the restroom door that had "Staff Only" written with bold letters.

End of flashback

Tears are flowing down your face as you type out the message to your bestfriend, basically explaining the situation. You're not hurt about the fact he cheated, you're just angry on the fact that he cheated on you? Hong Y/N. You remember thinking how guys used beg for a chance to even let them take you on a date. And when you finally decide to settle down, this happens?

No, you cannot let a man control your emotions like this. Nope. You reject the fact that you are crying over a man.

You get up from the toilet seat and go outside to quickly wash your hands. You make a quick text to your bestfriend saying that you'll be late and call for a uber.

You go outside the restaurant and breath in the cold air of the chilly weather, finally feeling at peace a little. Your uber quickly arrives at your destination. "Square Town Club, please." You quickly inform the driver as you take a seat. Tonight it'll be all about you. Not someone cheating asshole.

The uber driver reaches at your said address after 10 minutes and you pay him the amount required as you get out of the taxi.

When you enter the club, it seemed like you stepped into another world. Neon red and green lights blinding your sights, party music booming through speakers, people making out or even having sex in the middle of the dance floor. "Ew, disgusting." You think. But that's main goal of tonight, only stuff like these can take your mind off that bitch.

You go over to the bar counter. You knew the bartender , Ricky, through social media. Also the reason how you got to know about this place. He looks over at you and asks, "The usual?" "No." You answer back. "Give me anything. But 10x stronger." You add. He raises his eyebrows but says nothing. As he was preparing your drink, you felt a little uncomfortable. It felt like someone was boring their eyes into you. Yes it's a club, of course you will grab attention.

But this one seemed a little off. A little familiar.

As you looked around to catch the supposed person, you attention is caught by a person sitting at the most secluded place of the club. It was a very dark corner. You try your best to ignore him. Keyword: Try.

Because the moment you look away a scary looking bodygaurd comes up to you with a drink and says, "Sir, this drink is offered by our master with the small note." Turns out the said master is none other than the guy you tried to take a good look at before.

This time you trun around and squint your eyes to take a good look at him. And this time, by some miracle, you're finally able to get a good look of him. But Oh. My. God.

It's the cafe guy.

© lulu-fic, 2024. All rights reserved. Don't copy, translate or modify my work. And Do not post my work on any other platform.

[scribblesofagoonerr]

new girlfriend drama | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

summary: leah finally introduces her new girlfriend, elle, to buddy and monkey

double the trouble masterlist

The buzz of the stadium surrounded you as you waited inside the tunnel,  lined up with the rest of the team - Leah was standing at the front, the Captain's armband proudly displayed around her arm in the absence of Kim.

It was matchday, and you were hyped.

You were focused, determined and ready to win.

And what's better? You were playing against Aston Villa, meaning you were going head to head with Jordan.

"Boo!" You crept up behind the smaller woman, wrapping your arm around her shoulder, "Happy birthday, Mama!"

"Thanks, little one," Jordan smiled, reaching up to stand on her tiptoes since you had that slight advantage of tallness over her as she pressed a kiss to the top of your head, "Good luck out there, yeah? Don't go scoring on me now!"

"Pfft, as if," You waved her off, reluctant to wipe the smirk on your face, "Have you seen Buddy yet? I know she wanted to give you her present!"

"Not yet, but I'm sure I'll catch up with her after the game," Jordan replied, still smiling.

You felt a nudge on your shoulder as your eyes darted round to meet Leah's, "Are you ready, my girl? You've got this, stay sharp, yeah?"

"I always do!" You grinned back, a bit too confident for your own good.

"Don't get too cocky now. We could win," Jordan warned, her tone amused.

"We will see," Leah chuckled, shaking her head in amusement, "Good luck, and happy birthday, Jord!" She wished her ex-girlfriend belated birthday wishes.

"Yeah, don't cry when I nutmeg you!" You couldn't help but chip in cheekily, just as the familiar beat kicked in to the sound of 'London's calling' and you began to walk out, proud to the loud roar of the fans around the stadium.

This was your game, no question.

After the game, you were drenched, your body aching from the torrential rain that hadn't let up the entire 90 minutes. The only thing you wanted right now was to get changed, find warmth and collapse in bed.

But Leah had other plans, apparently.

"When you're done getting changed, I want you to come with me. I've got someone for you to meet," The blonde said, catching you in the midst of getting ready in the dressing room after the victory celebration.

You couldn't resist the groan that slipped out your mouth, "Seriously?"

"Yes," Leah replied, stifling a smile as she shook her head, "I really think you'll like her. Just hurry up and get dressed, okay?"

"Urgh," You grumbled, not in the mood for introductions at all.

You were soaked to the bone from playing in the miserable British weather for the whole match, and the last thing you wanted to do right now was to meet somebody.

That did not sit well with you.

"Why? I'm coooold!" You didn't hesitate to complain at all, you were making it very well known that you weren't in the mood to meet anybody.

Regardless of whoever they might be.

"Well you won't be that cold if you hurry up and get changed," Leah retorted, collecting all of her own things together to get ready to leave, "Come on, hurry up."

"Urgh, what's with all the fuss?" You huffed in disagreement.

You were soon to find out what all the fuss was about - Leah wanted you to meet her new girlfriend, which you had mixed feelings about.

You definitely found it weird when Leah started seeing someone new. You were briefly aware of this new girlfriend, Elle, you knew she was someone special to Leah - but you never actually met her, even during pre-season in America or that unforgettable trip to Nashville. 

You knew it was bound to happen one day, and apparently today was the infamous day to meet Elle Smith, otherwise known as Miss USA.

For as long as you can always remember since you moved in with Leah and Jordan, it had always been the two of them, and they were a team within a team, both on and off the pitch - well until Jordan ended up moving to Aston Villa, but that's a different story.

Of course you knew both Leah and Jordan would find different partners, but that didn't mean you had to like it.

You definitely did not.

"Quit looking so grumpy," Leah nudged your shoulder.

"I don't want to meet her," You complained for what felt like the hundredth time, as you waited for the lift to take you upstairs where you were about to finally meet the woman that Leah had been seeing for quite some time now, "I'm cold, I'm tired. I just want to go home and go to bed. That's it, I don't want to meet Elle."

You were really in a bad mood after the game, although you had won with a 4 nil victory, it had poured down with rain throughout the whole game and as a result, you now felt completely miserable.

You also felt pretty bad about the loss for Jordan and her team, especially since the fixture was on her birthday as well.

It was a tough loss for her, and she didn’t waste any time hanging around either.

It was definitely not a good idea for Leah to decide to introduce you to her new girlfriend now of all times while you felt so grumpy.

"Why not? I really think you might like her," Leah replied, her tone light but firm.

"Yeah, well, I don't... " You shot back, pouting, "Why do I' gotta meet her?"

Leah exhaled a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Would you stop? Look, I really like Elle, and I'm happy. So, now I just want you girls to finally meet her, okay?"

"Whatever," You muttered, but the tension was still there.

"Monkey, stop," Leah chastised, knowing there was people around, "There's people around here still." She reminded you with a knowing look, but it still didn't stop you from sulking.

"I wouldn't be complaining so much if you weren't forcing me to meet her," Your retorted, voice full of bratty annoyance.

"You make it sound like it's such a terrible thing," Leah spoke aloud, exhaling a deep sigh as her patience was wearing thin, "I really want you girls to meet Elle, I think you'll like her." She added.

"She can't replace Jordan," You muttered, still not convinced.

"I wouldn't ever dream of that happening, my girl," Leah said, her voice soft but serious, as if to reassure you.

"This lift is taking forever!" You complained as you felt like the lift was taking forever to reach the top.

Leah chuckled, shaking her head as she responded to a text on her phone, "Anything else you want to complain about today?" She teased.

"Well... Now that you mention it--" You begin to speak, caught off guard by the lift door opening and you're met with your favourite little buddy, "Buddy!" You shout, your grumpiness quickly overturned seeing the three year old.

"Monks'!" The said three year old plows into your legs, her eyes wide with excitement as she wraps both her arms around you, "Miss 'ou soooo much!" She told you, dramatically.

"I missed you soooo much too!" You retorted, playfully as you ruffled her hair.

Buddy's attention didn't last long on you though as she spotted Leah, "Mummy!" Not hesitating to run over to her and launch herself on her.

"Oft, there's my little bubba!" Leah crouches down to meet her, just in time for a bear hug that leaves her grinning, "Hiya! Did you watch all of the game?"

"Uh huh! I' got 'cited when Monks' scored!" Buddy rambled, her voice full of excitement.

"You saw that? I made sure to score just for you!" You joked, grinning from ear to ear.

Buddy continued to beam a wide smile, her excitement tangible, "Ou' score good goal, Monks'!" 

"Well done today sweetheart. Very impressive!" Amanda chimed in, proud.

"I try my best," You waved off the praise with a smile, still not entirely used to it.

Leah straightened up and motioned to Elle, who stood a little further back to come a bit closer, "Right girls, come here. I'd like for you to both meet someone very important too me, okay?"

"Who are 'ou?" Buddy questions, her voice full of innocent curiosity.

"Girls, this is Elle, and she's mummy's special friend," Leah carefully introduced her to you both, making sure that Buddy was able to understand her words, "Do you think you can say hi?" She asked, guiding you both forward.

"Hi. I' Buddy!" Buddy of course was eager to meet her, waving enthusiastically.

"Hi there, Buddy! It's very nice to meet you," Elle crouches down to Buddy's level with a kind smile on her face, "And you must be Monkey?"

You nod faintly, shoving your heads in your trouser pockets, "Alright."

"Don't mind Monkey," Leah quickly added, "She's not very keen on meeting new people. Don't take it personally."

"I don't like you, so listen 'ere, yeah?" You started, channeling all your gangster-watching vibes  going through a current phase of watching the Kray Twins, the two famous London gangsters, "You hurt me' mum, and I know exactly where to hide bodies. So, don't even think about it, or you should learn to sleep with one eye open. Got it?"

Elle's face flickered with confusion, her eyes darting between you and Leah, unsure what to make of the threat, "Uh, right. Gotcha," She muttered, clearly thrown off by the whole interaction.

Leah rolled her eyes, quickly covering your mouth with her hand, "Ignore her, she's going through a phase right now," She told Elle, shooting you  a stern look, "You be quiet, you are still scared to sleep without the light on fifty percent of the time. You're not hard at all, so zip it."

You go wide-eyed, your cheeks burn as the tough act completely falls apart.

You go to open your mouth in protest, however it doesn't turn out the way you planned, "Don't even think about it," Leah warned you with a pointed finger.

"Rooooar!"  Buddy's eccentric voice was loud throughout the whole restaurant, where you'd been forced to come after the game, "Elle! Do 'ou like dino'daurs?" She was eager to know, forcefully trying to shove the plastic dinosaur into Elle's own hand.

"Are you kidding? You bet I do!" Elle agreed, accepting the sticky covered dinosaur out of Buddy's grasp since the three year old attempted to dunk it directly in the chocolate sauce of her ice cream sundae, "Do you have a favourite one that you like?"

"Uh huh! I 'ove my dino'daurs!" Buddy nodded, smiling from ear to ear as she animatedly chatted to Elle all about the different dinosaurs she had, which was the best out of them, "Steg'saurus da' bestest!"

Unlike Buddy, you still hadn't easily been convinced as you sat there, your arms crossed over your chest as you didn't hold back the eye roll as you watched Buddy and Elle interact with each other. Leah sat across from them, smiling fondly at the two, but you couldn't help but feel a little left out of the joy.

You weren't keen to be here at all.

You slumped in your seat, barely glancing up from your phone as you fiddled with it, pretending to not care about anything happening around you. The restaurant was bustling with energy, people talking, laughing, but you just couldn't seem to get into it.

Leah immediately clocked your reluctance to join in on the conversation, "Cheer up my girl."

"Why? I don't want to be here!" You grumbled, making it very well known about your feelings for being in the restaurant at that current moment.

Leah exhaled a sigh, sending you a knowing look, "I know you might not, but can you at least pretend like you're having fun?"

"But I'm not though..." You don't sugar-coat your words, you definitely don't want to be here, and you're not about to act like you do.

"We'll be going home in a bit," Leah told you, resisting the urge to roll her own eyes as she caught sight of you scrunching your face up in further protest,"You know, if you continue to screw your face up like that then it might stick like it,  eh?"

"Ha ha, very funny," You deadpan, rolling your eyes at the blondes' wittiness.

"I know it seems like a lot, but come on, Buddy's warmed up to her. Do you think you might be able to do the same for me?" Leah tries her luck, hoping that you might change your mind, or at least be somewhat nice to Elle.

You continue to scowl across the table at the American woman, "I don't like her."

"You don't know her well enough to decide that though right now," Leah explains, her tone of voice gentle as she understands this might be hard for you to grasp.

"My minds already made up," You shake your head in protest, slumping back down into your seat,"When can we go home? I'm bored."

Leah exhales a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, "In a bit. Just try and cheer up a bit, please?"

"But I'm bored, like super bored here, and I can do so much more at home!" You exclaim.

"So, Monkey," Elle begins, catching your attention now Buddy's sole focus is on the sticker book in front of her, or more so, the stickers she's putting everywhere around the table and chairs, coats, bags, phone cases, you name it - if it's there in eye-sight, its' been stickered.

You couldn't resist the smirk that appeared on your face, "So, she-devil..."

"Monkey," Leah scolded, fixing you with a sharp pointed look.

"What? I think it's a cute nickname," You feigned innocence, holding your hands up in the air in mock-surrender, "I can try another, if you'd like?"

Leah narrowed her eyebrow, "Watch it."

"Alright, alright," You rolled your eyes at the blonde sat opposite you, "What's up, El-Dog?" You tried again.

"Monkey," Leah repeated, continuing to look at you with a sharp look.

You huffed in response, not holding back on another eye roll and slumping back to lean against your chair, "Oh come on, you know I like nicknames... Elle... I don't know what rhymes with it," You retorted, shrugging your shoulders.

"You're very funny," Elle chimed in.

"Thank you, I'm training to be a part time comedian," You told her in a sarcastic tone of voice, a shit-eating grin on your face, having more enjoyment in winding this woman up, "Want to hear a knock-knock joke?"

"No she's not, she's winding you up," Leah interjected before you had the chance to spout anything more, "Knock it off, Menace. I mean it."

Elle chuckled, waving her hand off as she didn't seem so phased by your reluctance to speak to her, "So, Monkey, is that like a nickname you have?"

"I don't know, Elle, is yours a nickname for something else?" You shot back, innocently.

"Monkey is one of her many nicknames," Leah chimed in, "My other favourite ones' for her are Menace and my girl, both of them very self-explanatory."

"I see," Elle nodded in agreement, taking a moment to take a sip of her drink, "Leah tells me that you really like Lego. That's cool."

You didn't dare bat an eye, "Yeah, so, what's it to you?"

"Monkey, enough of that," Leah chided, nudging your shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess..." You begrudgingly agreed, leaning forward and attempting to blow bubbles in your drink with the straw, "I find it cool, and it helps me calm down sometimes, and whatnot."

Leah gave you a faint smile and nodded, "My whole house is overrun with Lego since both the girls love it so much."

"Duh? Lego is amazing, Malfoy!" You perked up, not resisting the urge to call Leah out by a nickname, since they're one of your favourite things to give people.

Elle shared a confused look between yourself and Leah, "Malfoy? Like, uh, Harry Potter?" She questioned.

"Yep!" Your excitement suddenly reached a new level, nodding your head in agreement, ditching blowing bubbles in your drink, "Have you ever watched it? Le definitely has a haircut like him!"

"Brilliant," Leah muttered in disbelief, shaking her head, "I think I preferred it when you were quiet instead now after all."

"I'm bored again," You complained dramatically, setting your drink down.

Leah rolled her eyes and reached into her own bag and pulled out some colouring pages and crayons, "Here. Happy now?"

Your eyes lit up despite yourself, “Colouring? Yes!” Grabbing the crayons, you started to scribble, regardless of the fact of your age, you were at least somewhat occupied for the time being.

“See?” Leah said, laughing softly, “I told you she’s harmless. She’s just a big kid, it’s unreal.”

“I’m not a big kid…” You felt a heat rise in your cheeks, not liking being called out like that, but you couldn’t help the grin that tugged at the corners of your lips. 

“Keep telling yourself that,” Leah teased, ruffling your hair. 

“Accusations. False accusations!” You grumbled underneath your breath, however, you grabbed a crayon and continued to scribble on the page. You weren’t fully ready to warm up to Elle, but slowly started to let the walls come down.

Buddy's little face scrunched up in concentration as she started to tug at Leah's hand, "Mummy! I... I' need toilet!" She exclaimed,  the urgency in her voice leaving no room for hesitation.

Leah didn't even flinch at the sudden demand, "Come on then, bubba. We'd better go find it quickly," She said, getting to her feet, quick and straight to the point, "You play nice, alright?"

You rolled your eyes at the interaction, turning your attention to your phone, "Pfft, oh please... I always play nice!" You muttered to yourself, though your eyes were glued to the screen instead of the woman in the room.

Elle, sensing the lull in the conversation, turned to you with a curious smile, "So, Monkey, what is that you like to do?"

You didn't immediately respond, not feeling particularly inclined to talk to her. But then, an idea flashed in your mind that could be so much better than small talk.

This might just be your chance to get someone else on board for the ultimate adventure -- skydiving!

"Oh, I have hobbies!" You said with an enthusiastic grin, "Yeah, I'm so adventurous and that. Like skydiving and all the different things like that!"

Elle raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but cautious, "Skydiving, huh? That sounds kind of dangerous. Are you allowed to do things like that, with you being a professional footballer?"

"Oh, yeah, totally!" You waved your hand dismissively, like it was the least of your worries, "Do you want to go? We could go together, and it could be so fun!"

"Uh..." Elle hesitated for a second, but then to your surprise, shrugged, "Sure, that does sound like fun!"

You were now all but practically bouncing in your seat, a grin spreading across your face, "Awesome! So, uh, where is it that you live in America?" You decided it was probably best to try and ask some questions to at least seem interested, at least you hoped it was America where she lived.

Elle seemed to enjoy the change in pace as she answered, "Oh, I live in New York. Have you ever been?"

"Nope, never, but it sounds, like so sick!" You exclaimed, "They have that big tree there at Christmas as well, innit?"

"Yeah, it's really quite cool to look at," Elle replied, smiling at your enthusiasm.

"And do they have that ice as well?" You pressed, already seeing the path ahead.

"Oh yeah, they do..." Elle continued to nod in agreement, "Do you like to ice skate?"

"Sure, totally," You agree with a simple shrug of your shoulders, "So, do they have sky divng as well?"

Elle's eyes widened slightly, "Yeah, I think they have something like somewhere you can do it inside!"

Bingo, it was almost too convincing now!

"Really? Oh sick! We have to do it!" Your mind was completely made up now on the idea of going there for that one reason in particular, your eyes lighting up as you spotted Leah and Buddy return from their toilet trip, "Le! I wanna go to New York-- Le! Le! Can we... Can we go?"

"Whoa, slow down," Leah gave you an incredulous look, "Go where?" She asked, confused.

"New York!" You repeated, practically vibrating with excitement, "It sounds neat, don't it? We have to go!" You said with urgency.

Leah raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed in a casual but knowing stance, "Whoa, whoa, slow down a second. What am I missin'? You've changed your tune all of a sudden, haven't you?"

"We neeeeed to go. Pleaaaaase!" You almost whined, shifting from foot to foot, your excitement contagious.

"We will see, Menace, alright? I'm sure we can try and figure it out," Leah said, though her tone held an edge of amusement, clearly having no clue where this was truly heading.

"Yeeeees! Get in!" You cheered, punching your air in victory, "Cool! Oh yeah-- Elle, I got a question for you, and it's super important." You continued to quiz her without missing a single beat, "Depending on how you answer this, all but depends on if we can even be considered mutuals..."

Elle raised an eyebrow, "Sure, hit me with it!"

"Alright," You leaned in slightly, "Do you think pineapple belongs on pizza?" You questioned, deadpan.

"It's good," Elle answered simply.

You let out a loud whoop of excitement, causing Leah to give you a side-eye, "Right? Niiiiice! Okay, I think I changed my mind, I can begin to like you. Our sky diving trip is going to be amazing!"

And that's where you slipped up...

"Whoa, I'm sorry. Backup there... Skydiving?" Leah chimed in, holding her hand in protest, giving you a firm look, "Monkey! We've already talked about this!"

You winced in protest, "Damn it, so close..."

Leah folded her arms, trying her hardest to remain composed, "You know that skydiving is completely out of the question, and it's not happening!"

You groaned dramatically, clearly not willing to accept the defeat just yet, "You're such a buzzkill sometimes, Le!"

"I only agreed because I thought you were completely okay with it, I swear," Elle said, her tone almost apologetic.

Leah let out a soft sigh, her arms folding across her chest, "It's fine. Monkey knows she's not allowed to do it, and it's not your fault, babe," Her voice was calm but firm, offering a reassuring smile to Elle, “Nice try, Menace. No skydiving, and that’s final!”

© scribblesofagoonerr

[nonranghaes]

joshua thinks he loves you too much. that's why he's strolling up to this house 'late' for this christmas party, dressed up in a suit (rather than waiting for you in cozy sweats like you promised), and a bottle of wine he stole from jeonghan's apartment on the way over. this, in his humble opinion, is what a best friend is for: pretending to be your date when you see your ex with someone new at a christmas party you didn't know he'd be at. it's easy enough to find you socializing with this tight-lipped smile that melts into something genuine when you see him. he passes off the bottle of wine to the host and makes a beeline for you. you're a vision in blue and it's all too easy to look at you like you outshine everyone else in the room.

"hi, honey," he says, pressing a chaste kiss against your cheek. he lowers his voice to a whisper, "you owe me."

"i know." but you curl an arm around him all too easily, pulling him into your side as you immediately start introducing him and coming up with some casual lie as to why he's late.

the moment the two of you have a second to yourself, he leans in, pretending that all he's doing is stealing another little kiss and not also whispering to you. "where is he?"

"tall guy in the green sweater across the room. his new fiance looks like a candy cane."

joshua glances over, eyes widening a little at the red and white stripes that seem to jump out at him now. it's cute, sure, but still catches him off guard in a 'how did i miss them...?' kind of way. he turns back to you, and suddenly the word hits him harder. "fiance?!"

joshua remembers this guy too well: mister 'i don't think i'll ever get married again,' which wasn't a problem in the slightest in general, but it was one of the multiple reasons you ended up ending things with him. you just give him this tight-lipped smile, a hand coming to rest on his chest for a moment. you know. he can see the way you waver a little in front of him.

"fifteen minutes," he says to you. "and then we'll fake an emergency."

your hand slips into his, and he feels the way your lips press against his cheek and linger a few seconds too long. long enough to make him think a little too much about what it could mean. "thank you, honey. i owe you."

(his payment comes in the form of watching horror movies with him, dressed in your sweats again... and again when he feels you fall asleep against his shoulder, his heart fluttering in his chest.)

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐱𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

From this poll, this series is born!

a/n: the dragons are able to shift into human-like beings. Taking 'bonded' to a whole other meaning.

This whole post is 18+. No minors. 🧿

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑬:

graphic picture ahead -

In the days of Old Valyria Blood Magic was used to create the dragons species by a dragon hybrid choosing a mate. The hybrid had to be in a morphing form into his dragon form. Therefore, creating the dragon spirit that would fill the womb of his human mate.

・Hot-headed, overprotective and showing his animalistic side...always... like a dog with a bone, he will not let anyone touch you, nay; he will not let anyone even look at you too long.

・You often think that the human part of his shift could come out more prominantly, but it just doesn't.

・You do have to remind him that he isn't allowed to kill anyone in his path, that there are rules in human society that are vastly different to the ones in dragon culture.

"Bloody ridiculous, all of it."

・In human form, it's too obvious he isn't human. (Well, yes that is the same with the rest of those who can dragon-shift, but Caraxes cannot let go of his dragon side while human like the others can). It doesn't help that his eyes seem to glow all the time, on his face are tattooed runes from Old Valyria, long thick red hair, darkened lips, pointed ears and extremely large and obvious horns protruding from his head.

・Oh and he was the tallest man you had ever seen

・Standing at 7 feet tall, you thought Westeros had in fact been overrun by some sort of alien creature.

・But no. All dragonshifters are over 6'5 feet. Any less and they are considered still in childhood.

・The first time you saw his human form, you thought he was the most handsome being you had ever laid eyes on.

・A flurry of words that constantly contradicted one another: graceful yet aggressive, mysterious yet direct, there was a pull to him. A pull so ancient that you thought you might die if you didn't follow it.

・And Caraxes was used to ancient authority (he actually hates authority) but still...he knew he needed to listen this time.

・Still an outsider as a human - but he doesn't care, not when he has you.

・He knows how to do Valyrian braids, and loves when you sit on a pillow in front of him while he sits behind you. Humming, which turns to singing - an Old Valyrian one that only mates sing to one another.

・Loves giving you gifts; absolutely showers you in them.

・Caraxes is a shifty, silver-tongued character who is also a big dumbass once he's not playing into the intimidation role

・CONSTANTLY LOYAL AND WILL SQUARE UP TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE.

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏����𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

"Caraxes, No." (You) x "...Caraxes Yes..." (Him)

Commits crimes (Caraxes) x Accessory to crimes (You)

Tough on the Outside, Soft on the Inside Kinda (Caraxes) x The Top (You)

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Challenging Social Conventions

Soulmates

Saw You, Instantly Decided You Were His.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

The Devil & the Daughter by Daniel Pemberton

To Bring You My Love by PJ Harvey

The Sails of Charon by the Scorpions

𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 🔞 No one under the age of 18 past this point, makes me feel weird if you read it.

・Caraxes loves to hear your moans, especially when it's his name. He wants it loud, louder, louder. Pouding into you, drunk on your body.

・Then he ends up being just as loud - and then he gets so absorbed by you that he cannot make a comprehensive sentence

・His favourite positions are the ones where you're closest.

・"Just like that, keep going. Keep going beautiful."

・Caraxes loves praise, both giving it and receiving it. He does feel lonely; he would never admit it verbally. But ends up showing it in different ways. Such as this.

𝑺𝒆𝒙𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

"you're so tiny and i dont want to lose control." (Caraxes) and "idc and im gonna taunt you until you break and ruin all my holes" (You)

Breeding Kink

Cockwarming - whines when he can't be inside you. Only you've heard his whines. I swear he would kill anyone else if they heard it.

art credit: https://www.instagram.com/p/C9w5Gd2PiFM/

A/N: This is all my own headcanons and ideas, it's not canon - George hasn't released a lot about how blood magic works, or how the dragons came to be. So I'm ... taking creative liberties. If you have a different opinion then that's cool too!

[dark-moonlust]

Deck the Halls Part 1

Pairing: Krampus x fem!human reader

Summary: you secretly start to decorate the house only for your grumpy husband Krampus to find you out.

Warnings: established relationship, grumpy x sunshine trope, decorating, caring and possessive hubby, fluff, cuteness.

I just had to include Krampus in my Christmas stories! This version of him is unbelievably sweet, with only a small bite (for the time being). Happy reading! Find part two on Patreοn. ✨Happy Holidays!

The attic was a maze and a death trap, but you made it through. It was where you kept all your seasonal decorations and other unnecessary items. You moved through the jumbled mess until you dragged down the four large boxes containing Christmas decorations. Sure, it was still early November 28th—a point that Krampus, your husband, would never let you forget—but he wasn't home, and you weren't going to let his grumpy, anti-Christmas attitude deter you.

You only struggled with the last box as it refused to move. "You're just a box," you growled, tugging on it fiercely. "I'm not letting you win.”

The box eventually collapsed with a shriek, and you lurched back, almost landing on your bum. Well… you’d done it at last. With a huge grin, you dragged each box downstairs and got to work. You had all the time in the world because Krampus was currently caught up in the company he worked for. He worked as a specialist for a corporate organization, investigating unethical activities such as embezzlement, fraud, or employees "breaking the rules." He was incredibly good at his job, and his frightening appearance made others think twice before doing anything dirty.

Without realizing it, time passed, and the living room gradually began to transform into a gorgeous, chaotic mass of garlands, lights, and glitter. You'd managed to wrestle a seven-foot pine tree into the corner, which had been funny given that it was higher than you and weighed around a thousand pounds. You were climbing the ladder with a garland of lights in your hands, humming "All I Want for Christmas Is You" at full gusto when a familiar growl caused you to freeze mid-note.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

You froze. Fuck indeed. 

Krampus was back.

You turned slowly, your hand still holding the lights, to see Krampus, your monstrously handsome but now angry husband standing in the doorway. He looked massive in the wide living room, standing nearly seven and a half feet tall, wearing a dark suit that screamed danger and dark beauty.

Twisted horns twisted from his temples, and dark lustrous fur protruded from his wrists and neck. His penetrating red eyes swept across your form. His jawline was sharp enough to cut, framed by a shadow of a beard. Sharp claws tipped his fingers and a long, serpentine tail flowed behind him, which was currently swinging back and forth. He didn’t wear shoes, he had hooved feet and walked to you with a predator's grace.

“Surprise! It’s decorating day,” you said, forcing a small smile.

“Get down.”

Krampus snarled, his gaze fixed on your body perched dangerously on top of a ladder. He hadn’t planned on coming home early, but something in his gut told him you were up to no good. And of course, he had been right. The sight of you balancing on that wobbly-ass ladder, stringing lights made his heart lurch. Only you did that to him. Made him so fucking worried and out of his mind.

Plus, you had no business looking so damn cute, wearing a short-ass red dress, glitter dusting your cheeks and hair.

But cute or not, you were a menace.

You've always acted like this around Christmas, but this year you started decorating so early that he didn't have time to prepare himself.

“Relax, big hubs,” you called out, a little sassy despite his furrowed brows. “I’ve got this.”

Krampus grunted. Nope. Absolutely not.

“Get down. Now.”

“Silly, I can’t do that. I haven’t finished decorating.”

"It's still November," he muttered, creeping closer. His hooves clicked on the ground, his tail swinging behind him like an angry cat. "You couldn't wait another week?"

"You wouldn't let me decorate even if I waited!" you shot back, wagging your lights at him. "So I have to do it when you're out, obviously."

"So you thought this was a good idea? Climbing on that death trap without me?"

You rolled your eyes. He was so overprotective. "I am fine. You're being dramatic."

“Come down or I'll get your sweet ass down and you don't want that."

Releasing a huff of a breath, you carefully stepped down. Krampus waited patiently at the ladder, gripping it for balance. He only let go when your feet were safely on the ground, tossing away the lights and tugging you to him as if you weighed nothing. He pulled you off the ground to make up for your height difference and you smiled, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.

“You’re not climbing that damn thing again unless I’m standing right here,” he growled, his claws gently digging into your hips as he held you close.

“You’re such a worrywart,” you muttered, your fingers trailing the sharp lines of his jaw.

“That’s because you’re careless, wife.”

You pouted and made puppy eyes at him. “Oh, come on, hubby. I want to decorate. It makes me so happy! Help me out? Please? Please?”

Krampus grumbled something about you having him wrapped around your little finger and eventually agreed. He’d rather take you to bed and fuck your brains out but that would have to wait. Sadly. But he had plans to ask for a big reward for helping you, so his dick stayed good in his pants while he helped you out.

In the end, he ended up doing the majority of the decorating. He hung string after string of garlands and lights across the living room. Before he knew it, he had decorated the massive Christmas tree, the steps leading upstairs, and your bedroom. You had joyful music playing continually and were dancing and smiling sweetly at him.

Well, that made all his efforts worthwhile.

Everything sparkled with soft, golden lights, garlands hung neatly from the fireplace, and the aroma of pine and cinnamon filled the air. You stood back, hugged your husband, proud of the seasonal metamorphosis, despite his occasional growls and eye-rolls.

“You’re always so grumpy about the holidays, but here you are, helping me decorate. Thanks to you we’re almost finished! Only the driveway’s left and the garden.”

Krampus narrowed his eyes, his tail flicking. “Don’t push your luck, wife.”

"Everything looks so good," you murmured, secretly planning to decorate the yard tomorrow.

“Just good?" he rumbled, his voice low. "I just spent three hours untangling lights and garlands and all you've got to say is 'good'?“

You smirked. “Fine, it looks amazing. Totally amazing. Thanks for helping out, hubby.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something, wife?” His gaze flicked to the room briefly before lingering on you.

“Forgetting what?”

“My reward,” he murmured in your ear.

“Oh, your reward,” you said, playing cool even if your belly clenched with desire. “You mean for today? For being such a good hubby and helping me out?”

“Yes, damn it,” he said, his voice a deep, velvet growl. You were infuriating—deliberately driving him to the brink of madness even if he could smell your arousal in the air. He wanted to pin you down, kiss you and fuck your cunt until you stopped sassing him.

“You’re impossible,” you whispered, shivering as his tail curled around your legs, pinning you to him. His hands dragged up your mini red dress, you knew it had driven him mad. Just as you’d planned. Your breath hitched when he let his claws brush against your upper thighs.

“And I think you’re in need of a good fucking, little wife,” he rasped, his lips hovering over yours. “But for starters, I think I’ll have a kiss.”

Head tilting, he claimed your lips, his horns creating shadows on the walls. Your breathing caught, mouth opening and accepting his hungry tongue. Krampus was rough and demanding, thrusting his tongue with yours as if he wanted to devour you, pin you to the wall and make you forget all about the decorations.

And you wanted the same. Were just as needy for him as he was for you.

Part 2 is already up on the app plus much much more to enjoy! Things will get hot. Let me know what you think of my take on Krampus!

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

i’m a little late to this but i’d love to hear your hc’s for any of the main npmd characters!!! (especially grace or pete!!)

oooooohhhh baby hell yeah hell yeah

hyper specific pete headcanons:

sits crammed into the tiniest ball possible, like, full knees to chest, arms wrapped around shins, hunched tiny -- he's so damn tall that it looks WILD but he Cannot and Will Not Sprawl

left handed, but very aggresive about it, he owns literally every left handed tool; scissors, notebooks, etc..

really only likes sweets, he has to actively make himself to eat shit that isn't just insanely sugary (and, like, he doesn't hate everything savory) but if he didn't need it to survive i dont think he'd eat anything but desserts

really good dancer techncially, but he has a ton of trouble doing anything artistic with his movement or expressions

always cold at all times forever

cannot and will not get his drivers license

grace:

in love with esther from veggie tales

loves cutesy things like sanrio and strawberry shortcake from an aesthetic standpoint but she doesn't ever really buy anything specifically branded, and refuses to go into stores like hot topic where they'd sell it becuase she think's they're satantic

her and her parents always watch old movies from the 40's and 50's when things were 'simpler' and more 'wholesome' (a lot of the very rauchy innudendos packed into said movies go right the fuck over her head)

she's one of those girls who in, like, 6th grade decided she wanted really neat handwriting, so she practiced that specific handwriting that's all round and cutesy and even

she uses a tinted lip balm and feels really rebellious about it (and slightly guilty)

loves those grandma strawberry candies

has a really, deeply, intensely curated pintrest and NO OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA

steph:

dyed her hair that specific purple-red color in middle school that every cool, edgy tumblr girl did

she eats like a person who got her menu straight from tiktok, like takis, monster, airhead sour strips,,,,, she does think this makes her cool and unique

prefers ankle socks but she wears crew socks when it became clear people thought that they looked cooler

vapes the fruitests, most artifically flavored shit

she has not left the house without eyeliner on since she was 12

she plays guitar and sings really well (it's her mom's old guitar; her mom was a honey queen winner and handed her the guitar to hold onto for 'just a second' while she went to do things with roman murray,,,, she did Not Come Back)

her car keys are on a lanyard with 400 million key chains

ruth:

she loves primary colors and painting her nails bright, mismatched colors and fun patterns, so she owns a lot of fun clothes/makeup/nail polish, but she gets too into her own head about it and never wears it out of the house

the physical embodiment of waiting until everyone leaves the house and taking out her laptop to sing along to musical theatre karaoke tracks

misses popcorn so bad :(

big dc nerd, but she does love the marvel hero squirrel girl

her first 'porn' was gay newsies smut fanfic

she's a middle child (OBVIOUSLY), she has a little sister whose really sporty and popular (and she's really jealous of her) and an older sister whose in college (the older sister is the hatchetfield bee from tgwdlm)

she probably vaped once a theatre cast party and had a panic attack in the bathroom

richie:

bleaches and dyes his own hair So! Badly! like his forehead is blue constantly and it turns green in a day and every surface of his home is stained blue

has spent hours trying to get the marble out of a ramune bottle

inexplicably knows a lot bird facts

had a close up magic phase as a kid which does impact his current day

has a samsung with like four million phone charms

he's the friend with a car but good fucking lord he's a bad driver it's so bad for his two friends with anxiety disorders

horrible with money, he spent like all his bar mitzvah money in a day on like a thousand dollar gaming laptop and a really rare anime figurine

wants to be a streamer so bad

i feel like he's an oldest child but in the way where he's the older twin or something and then has one or two little siblings, like it's a very vauge version of oldest

pierced his own ears and it went badly

[rypnami]

The Yule Ball

happy christmas everyone! this is the last part for now of my yule ball posts for @leaping-toadstool-caps 's event. as mentioned in my headcanons post (found here), leander spends most of the night working up the courage to ask his sebastian to dance. i decided for my christmas post, i should write what happens next. enjoy!

this is not proofread at all and is a bit of a mess but its fine we ball

(outfit post here)

word count: a lot probably i didn't actually count

mentioned mcs: phillip prewett (mine), jaimsen hisui @leaping-toadstool-caps odysseus carrow @saibugslegacy amberlyn salters @ps-cactus

Leander isn't sure why he came to the ball.

He thinks he must look like the biggest knob alive, coming without a date, loitering around as a third wheel to his older brother and his boyfriend, and then going to hide in the corner and stuff his face with chocolate frogs. Surrounded by happy couples, or groups of friends who came to have a good time, he feels even worse. Last week, he had almost gotten it together to ask Sebastian to go with him, but had gotten too anxious and practically run away.

Unwrapping another chocolate frog, he hardly glances at the card as he drops it in the pile and shoves the whole thing in his mouth head-first. If he's going to be a lonely bastard, at least he's doing so with sweets. The decorations around the Great Hall are brilliant, too. Tall, icy trees, enchanted snow falling gently from the ceiling, which looks like a winter sky, and baubles galore along the walls. Jaimsen really outdid himself, setting this all up. At least there is something to look at other than all the couples dancing.

"You!"

Leander jumps.

Jaimsen comes up to him, arms crossed. "No being sad at my ball!"

"I'm not sad-"

"Don't lie to me, Prewett."

"Not my fault," Leander protests, even though it most certainly is. "You know, it's statistically proven that depression is worse around the holidays, so naturally at leas one person here would be-"

"Spare us all the lecture. I'm begging." Phillip seems to materialise beside them, Odysseus in tow, and throws his arm over Leander's shoulders.

"I'm right, though."

"If you're truly that distraught about it, why not ask him to dance?" Odysseus says.

Jaimsen nods. "That's an excellent idea."

Leander shrugs Phillip's arm off and takes a step away. "I- what- who are you... talking about?" They can't know, can they?

The other three boys seem to roll their eyes in unison. "Sebastian, of course," Phillip says, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

He might die from humiliation. "Why- what- why- why would I ask Sebastian to dance?!" He stammers.

"Everyone knows you fancy him."

"You follow him everywhere. You're like a puppy."

"Whenever he's around, whatever minimal braincells you have seem to evaporate."

"You almost cried when that rumour about him coming with Adair was going around."

"And-"

"That's quite enough!" Leander cuts them all off, his face almost as red as his dress robes. "You've all made your point!"

"So ask him!" Phillip says. "Stop pouting in the corner."

"How?"

"Like this." Odysseus stands on his toes to match Leander's height and starts doing an awful impression of his voice. "Sebastian, would you like to dance with me?" He drops back down to his normal height. "Easy."

"Very easy," Jaimsen agrees.

Well, fine, it sounds easy in theory, but so had asking Sebastian to be his date, and that had not gone well. Excuse. Excuse. Think of an excuse why you can't.

"I would, but... Sebastian is busy. With Ominis." Although he's been trying not to, every time Leander has searched through the crowd for Sebastian, he's been talking to Ominis. He is definitely not jealous and is not watching in case someone else should ask him to dance.

"It's your lucky day, then," Phillip points across the hall. Sebastian is standing just to the side of the dance floor, watching as Ominis takes Amberlyn Salters by the arm and leads her out to dance. "It seems Mr Gaunt is occupied."

"Oh. Yay."

"So go talk to him."

Before he can protest, the trio is practically dragging him across the floor, Leander stammering half-formed excuses the entire way. Phillip shoves Leander in Sebastian's direction, then the three scamper off, giggling.

"Leander, hello!" Sebastian says as Leander almost trips into him. "I was just wondering if you were here."

Leander is at a loss for words. From far away, it was hard to see, but up close he feels like he can't breathe. Sebastian is wearing a dark green velvet tuxedo jacket and matching dress pants. His typically unruly brown hair is combed and must have a gallon of product in it to keep it down, but there are still a few strands sticking out here and there.

He looks positively gorgeous.

Next to him, Leander must look like a toad wearing a suit.

"Er, yes, I've been, you know, with my brother and his boyfriend..." He hopes there's no chocolate smudged on his face... too late to worry about that now.

"No dancing?"

"No. I came without a date." Saying it out loud feels like an exercise in humiliation, honestly. “No one asked me… and I dunno, asking someone was…”

“Intimidating?” Sebastian suggests.

Leander nods. “I… suppose so, yes.”

“I didn’t come with anyone, either.”

“You didn’t ask someone?” What’s more surprising to Leander is that no one asked Sebastian. He’s easily the prettiest boy in school (in his opinion, anyway) and he’s well-liked by most everyone. With that suit on, too, it’s a wonder half the students here aren’t tripping over themselves to dance with him.

"I didn't. I was asked by a few people, but I turned them down. I was rather hoping someone specific would invite me. They never did." Sebastian absently picks at his silver cufflinks, seeming to get lost in thought.

"Then they're an idiot." Leander says simply.

"Think so?"

Leander snorts. "Of course. Anyone would be lucky to go to a ball with you." Was that too forward? That was too forward, wasn't it..

"You flatter me," Sebastian sighs and mock swoons.

He has no idea why he was so petrified at the idea of talking to Sebastian- they are friends, and even with the 'my-brother-and-his-friends-are-peer-pressuring-me-into-asking-him-to-dance' thing, it's no different from when they chat in class, or study together in the library. Perhaps asking for a dance will be okay. At the least, it won't be the end of the world... right?

“Sebastian. I-“ I really like you. I've always really liked you. No, that's too much. I'm letting the silence go on too long. Say something say something SAY SOMETHING.

“Yes?”

"I. I. Um."

Sebastian raises his eyebrows and tilts his head. "Are you feeling quite alright? You look a bit flush."

"Y-yes, I'm grand. Um." Sweat drips down Leander's temples. Sebastian will laugh at him, he'll look a fool, everyone will know what a failure he is... "Um." Merlin's beard, Prewett, just say the damn words! “Since neither of us… has a date…”

A few paces behind Sebastian, Phillip is watching the disaster. He smiles and gives Leander two thumbs up.

"Doyouwanttodancewithme?"

"...I'm sorry?" Sebastian says. “What?”

That's that. Leander wants to crawl into a hole and die. Of course Sebastian would never want to dance with him, of all people.

"N-no, I'm sorry, stupid idea. Sorry."

"Wait." Sebastian puts his hand on Leander's shoulder before he can walk away. "Don't be sorry, I simply didn't hear what you said."

"O-Oh."

Sebastian looks at him expectantly. No way to back out now.

"I, er, I was wondering if... I- no pressure, or anything, but it looks like it's the last dance of the evening, so I thought... um, perhaps you'd like to dance... with... me?"

A beat of silence that couldn't be more than a second, but feels like a century.

A grin spreads across Sebastian's face. "I was beginning to think you'd never ask."

A new song starts, and Sebastian offers his hand. "Shall we?" Leander takes it, blushing.

Sebastian's hands are warm, and he's got a firm grip. There are callouses on his palms, likely from how many firey spells he uses. Leander desperately tries not to focus on just how well Sebastian's suit jacket fits him, or how he smells a bit like lavender and bergamot. He hopes his own palms aren't sweating.

Silently, he thanks his mum for being willing to teach him how to waltz. If he hadn't spent the past several weeks practising relentlessly, he's certain he'd be stepping all over Sebastian's toes right now.

Sebastian puts his hand on Leander's waist as the dance starts, and he almost blacks out. Everything around them is like background noise- they might as well be the only people in the world as they sway across the dance floor.

"I- wanted to ask you to come as my date," Leander admits, smiling awkwardly. "Last week, after Charms. I was going to, but, uh..."

Sebastian chuckles, and the sound of it warms Leander's body more than even the strongest Butterbeer. "Is that why you ran off? Merlin, I thought you just really needed the loo."

Blood rushes to Leander's face again. "I see."

"Were you truly that nervous to ask me?"

“How could I not be?” They’re close enough now that he can almost count the freckles on Sebastian’s face, a welcome distraction from making direct eye contact. “You’re cute, and smart, and brilliant at magic." Leander chews his lip. "I'm not... any of that, so I suppose I didn't think I had a chance?"

"I was waiting for you to ask."

"You wanted- Me?"

Sebastian really laughs now, and the way the bridge of his nose crinkles as he does is so cute Leander almost has to physically fight the urge to kiss him right there. "Did you really not know? I've been dropping hints for ages!"

Oh. Honestly, that makes a lot of sense. "I... I suppose I wasn't paying close enough attention." Translation- I hoped you felt the same, but I didn't think I was good enough for you.

"Merlin, you're as thick as it gets." Sebastian teases.

Leander rolls his eyes. "Well perhaps you were unclear!" But he starts to laugh, too. He can't believe he had been so scared to do this not 15 minutes ago. In fact, now he's wishing he'd manned up sooner and asked Sebastian earlier in the night, so they could have more dances, and more time to talk about... whatever might be between them, now.

The music slowly comes to an end, and with it the dance. As they step apart, Sebastian bows low with a slight smirk. "Thank you for the dance, Mr Prewett."

"Thank you, Mr Sallow." Leander mirrors him. He hesitates for a moment. This is his first formal ball, and he's not really sure what he's supposed to do now. Walk him back to his dorm? Dance again? Get them something to drink? Before he can overthink too much-

"Would you look at that." Sebastian is pointing up.

Dangling above their heads is a sprig of mistletoe. A sprig of mistletoe that was definitely not there a moment ago. Leander swears he can head Phillip snickering nearby. Busybody.

"You know, I've heard that if you don't kiss under the mistletoe, it's bad luck," says Sebastian conversationally. "I'd normally say I don't believe it and go about my evening, but we've got a Potions exam coming up, and I dunno if I want to risk it."

"With my marks in Potions, I don't think I can risk a stroke of bad luck right now, either..."

Neither of them mention, of course, that said exam is almost two months away, and any superstitious bad luck would surely have worn off by then. Sebastian leans in and gently presses his lips to Leander's. It's quick, so much so that if you blinked you might miss it, but it is easily the highlight of Leander's evening.

Perhaps it's a good thing he came to the ball after all.

[josphitia]

Portrait of a Mimic

“I don't know about this…” said a young looking woman with long brown hair tied into a ponytail. She wore light wood-colored glasses, a pink shirt emblazoned with a stylish skull, and pink-striped loose fitting bottoms.

“Oh balderdash! If you're going to be working in my office then I need a proper photo of you for your ID!” shouted a balding, bespectacled man wearing simple khakis and a dark blue sweater. While his voice was raised, it was not in a malicious way. Instead his voice sounded like a man accustomed to being talked over, and thus he developed this affectation to ensure his words were heard.

“Can't you just use your phone, like EVERYONE else, Erian? I don't see why you've dragged me to a shopping mall…” she spoke. Her voice was the opposite of the man's. His was meant to be heard above a crowd, while hers sounded as if it wanted to be hidden by one.

“I could, had I no pride. Portraits are something of a hobby of mine, and like any hobbyist I have my tastes and preferences. A portrait is a special thing. It used to be said the camera stole a piece of your soul. I actually find that notion comforting. A piece of you, in that moment, forever preserved. You may grow and change, your visage changing periodically in front of a mirror, but you will always be able to look at your portrait. The camera sees the whole you.”

She didn't know what to say… This man she had a complicated (to put it lightly) relationship with seemed to always hold new surprises for her. At times he seemed as superficial and deep as a rain puddle and at other times his authenticity was inspiring. However one thought quickly flashed before her mind as she looked down:

“Wait wait why didn't you tell me I was having my photo taken before we got here?? I could have focused on making myself more presentable! I'm just in a weekend look, I don't want to look like a schlub!”

“Nonsense, that's the point! Had I told you, you might've tried to hide the real you! No this is wonderful, you look perfect, if I may say so. When our patients walk into the lobby, I want them to see a portrait of YOU, not who you THINK people would want to see.”

“Wait, lobby!? You're going to be hanging this up??”

“Ah yes that's another reason for this excursion. Have you ever tried printing and framing a cell phone picture? No no, better to have a photo taken with genuine film! None of this digital nonsense. Anyway we're here!”

To their left was a small door, squeezed between a kitchenware store and a shop selling sports apparel. She would have completely missed it had it not been pointed directly out to her. A bell jingled as her cohort opened the door and entered.

“TEDDY!” shouted a man on a simple barstool. He was a tall man, at least a foot taller than Erian, wearing jeans and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He was balding on the top of his head, but still sported long hair along the sides and the back that he tied tight into a ponytail. He had a gentle face and a smile that never quite seemed to dissipate. He got up to shake the man who accompanied her.

“Alphonse, it's so good to see you!” said Erian as the two men started hitting it off with the kind of small talk that seems to always accompany old friends. It was as if she was completely forgotten about, which did allow her the convenience of getting to take in the photos along his shop’s walls. Families with fake smiles, graduates beaming with pride, excited newlyweds, all the things standard you would expect to see in a photographer's business. She even saw a picture or two of Erian’s! Her eyes then drifted to a corner that actually held some appeal to her:

Photos of people along a similar journey as hers, along with those she considered friends! There was a red, unenthused dragon whose body barely fit into the frame. A white tigress with a warm smile and tired, yet wise eyes. A sapphire scaled Lamia with a smile so innocent it seemed almost childlike. An amber colored slime she once had lunch with! As she leaned in for the closest view she could take, suddenly she heard the conversation shifting to her as its focus.

“Ah, and is this young lady one of them? Someone you're helping Teddy?”

“She'll soon be my employee, actually.”

“Partner, actually” she said in a cheeky yet firm way.

“Right, yes. Apologies. She's going to be working with me in my office! Alphonse, this is Mayday. Mayday, this is Alphonse.”

The photographer looked her up and down and spoke in a warm tone, devoid of romance but brimming with affection: “My, and aren't you just a sweetheart?”

Try as she might not to, she felt her entire face burning at that comment.

“Just the standard job, then, Teddy?” he said, turning to Erian. “Yes yes, and I'll be paying for it all, tip included.” At that, your future coworker started walking out of the store.

“Well, if you're ready?” he said, gesturing her towards the back. She followed briskly, anxiety starting to build inside her at having been left alone with this man she only just met. Professional or not, meeting new people always put her on edge, not even speaking of the fears currently swelling up inside her. She had always hated having her picture taken. She never thought she looked like “herself” in photos, but maybe now would be different? After all, nowadays she felt more like herself than she ever had.

“Just sit right here, May” the man said as he pulled a curtain closed behind her.

“It's Mayday, actually, please.”

“Alright sweetheart. Mayday it is!”

She couldn't help but smile and feel a bit warm inside at the ‘sweetheart’ nickname. Whether it was something he chose specifically for her or simply a nickname for all the feminine people he worked with, she couldn't tell. But it was still a nickname she made a mental note of.

“Now then, you're gonna be working with Teddy? You look pretty normal, are you also one of them ‘therians?’” As he spoke, he clicked a small remote as a floodlight suddenly turned on to her right side. It startled her so much a third eyeball erupted out of the side of her head to give her an additional look at the could-be hazard.

“Ah. I guess that answers my question.”

“Sorry, sorry” she said quietly. She had been gaining confidence in who she was. Pride in being a mimic. But being isolated and partaking in an activity she hated, it brought back old habits. It didn't matter how nice this man seemed… She was uncomfortable, and that always affected how well she could hold her form.

“It's absolutely no worry to me, sweetheart. Why, I've been taking many photos for these new animal people like yourself a lot lately! Guess it's not too surprising, people wanting to immortalize their new forms. Especially around this time of year! Why, I had a dragon in here a month ago and I'm still patching the ceiling where her horns busted through! Now, if I may ask, what kinda animal are you? I've never seen someone just spout an eye like that before.”

“Ah.. I'm a mimic…” While she was certain she was still holding onto her humanoid form, it felt as if the entire world was growing large around her. She didn't like being the focus of conversation.

“Mimic? I don't think I've ever seen one of them before, even at the zoo. Well, it's wonderful meeting someone of your kind!” His nonchalant acceptance was comforting, if surprising. Still, she wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Anything that helped make this ordeal go by any faster and smoother.

“Now, gimme a smile?”

She began to force herself to smile when-

Whirrr-CLICK-PSH

A bright light illuminated the room and frightened the poor mimic, she instinctively closed her eyes. She closed both… all three… all six… wait

At that moment she began to open her eyes and took in a 360 degree view of the room around her. She had sprouted eyes about every inch of her body… Tears started to well up in a few of them, she must've looked ridiculous, this man would soon start screaming and kick her out and and and

“Oh, oh my. Okay. I'm sorry sweetheart I guess I should've warned you.”

All her eyes turned towards the man, still illuminating the room like a gentle sunbeam with that soft smile of his. “Now now, please don't cry! You're fine! I don't think any decent photographer has gotten the right picture on the first try! It's just you and me here and I'm not going anywhere. Let me know when you're ready for the next one.”

After a minute or two of composing herself, one by one her eyes receding into herself, she nodded. An affirmation that she was ready.

“Alright, now try to keep your eyes open this time. And…”

Whirrr-CLICK-PSH

Again a flash from the camera and try as she might, it still startled her. She didn't sprout eyes this time, however she did sprout large purple spikes in every direction.

“I think someone might be on edge” he said with a laughing tone. “I'm in no rush Mayday. Take as much time to relax yourself.”

She did as he instructed. She imagined a soft running river, gently streaming over rocks and foliage.

Whirrr-CLICK-PSH

“Ah… perhaps a bit too relaxed, then…”

She had relaxed herself into a literal purple puddle, drooping over the wooden stool. Immediately she collected herself and assumed her humanoid form.

“Alright, try focusing on me then as I take the picture?”

She nodded and started taking in every aspect of the man. His hair, his choice of clothing, his facial wrinkles, the number of moles on his left arm, his-

Whirrr-CLICK-PSH

“Well, I think you were focusing too much on me there. No offense but that's a bit unnerving.”

Sitting opposite of the man was an almost exact replica of him, if doused in a purple hue. “Sorry!” she immediately said, shaking each part of her form until they resembled her natural look.

“No worries sweetheart. I do think we were on the right track there, that was the best photo so far. Instead of me, try thinking of another. Do you have someone special in your life?”

She did. Many people, in fact. She loved, and was loved, by the most wonderful group of creatures she had ever met. People who made her feel warm inside. Animals who always made her feel accepted. Friends who were always looking out for her and protecting her and friends she protected in turn. Companions who listened. Cohorts who made her happy. Family who completed her.

“Perfect. Now, give me a nice smile”

With thoughts and images of her loved ones dancing in her mind, Mayday did as instructed.

Whirrr-CLICK-PSH

-----------------------------------------------------

“Oh this is simply perfect” said the balding man in glasses as he marveled at the frame in front of him. He started climbing a ladder, ready to hang it next to a framed photo of himself.

“I look ridiculous… why did he send you that one!? There must've been a better picture! Let me go retake it, please!” Said the feminine mimic, now adorned in more work-appropriate attire.

“Shush!” Said her coworker as he started climbing down. “I said I wanted a picture of YOU not what you think other people would want to see.”

He walked next to her and put his hand on her shoulder. “This is the happiest I've ever seen you. You must have been thinking some very pleasant thoughts. This is the perfect face to greet our patients as they walk in.”

She started looking at the wall with a small sense of pride now. “Thank you, doctor. And yes. I was thinking of some very pleasant thoughts.”

Hanging in front of the two, beside the man's own, somewhat frumpy faced photo, was her. Her eyes were closed in happiness, she held a relaxed demeanor that yet brimmed with confidence. She held a wide smile that transcended the edges of her own face, with teeth that seemed to number in the hundreds. While no actual illumination glowed from her portrait, she brightened up the entire lobby. It was the most comforting smile that anyone who entered that office had ever seen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! This was a gift for my dear friend @scrubbinn for the holidays! GO READ THEIR OWN STORIES THEY'RE SO GOOD

There are also cameos of @ayviedoesthings , @tigergirltail , @ariathelamia , and @sandyca5tle

[urautismdiagnosis]

Captain Barnacles my beloved (click for higher quality)

<reblogs appreciated :>

My glorious man, my most wonderful guy ever

random thoughts about him under the cut

Sob I'm so many years behind in octonauts episodes I'm barely scratching the iceberg lmso but my general vibe of octonauts above and beyond so far is that "Holy Sht Global Warming" and also My tiny Friends Have Grown!! Like dude I'm so proud of them all lol

Honestly to me the captain is just in his 30s, somewhere in there, idk what his role is in the found family (father figure?? big brother???) but honestly I adore his relationships with each of the octonauts (esp with dashi ahahhagugugh!!!! and peso too augdhbf Theyre so precious he's so proud of them) I love how he and tweak just get eachother and kwazii is just like His Favorite Little Guy??? and shellington, my god-

Like this guy just adopts everything in sight istg- <3

Im starting to realize that either my autism is blinding me or maybe he's autistic too and like??? Theater kid ahhh playing the accordion and bursting into song?? Mr "I am so full of obsession and love for all of this and all of you", Mr " I got my gup struck by lightning, my arm crushed by a clam, stung by a jellyfish, nearly attacked by barracadas, thrown around violently on the back of a wall, crashed into a sunken ship, and then nearly drowned and Hahaha Yes Im Fine did you all need anything?" LIKE SIR???

Also you just know he went out and got his whole nautical fit, with the hat and everything, and just went "oh crap I cant be the only one uhhhh" and then gave EVERYONE THE CUTEST FREAKING MATCHING HATS!!!

this guy had dreams and they're coming true and all his dreams are BEAUTIFUL-

also my partner was helping me figure out his design and went "omg am I just helping u make him a dilf" and I went "nah we making him a papi" and like damn cuz- sobbing can you tell the conversation happened at A Late Hour At Night.

i gave him a single lower lash this sticks out stylishly and totally didn't give him natural polar bear eyeshadow, I also like to think that he's somewhere on the aro ace spectrum but that might just be me projecting lol

ignore the pic of a compass I stole btw that doesn't matter

i think the design might still have some room for improvement so if I've made it this far lmk if u think it could use any fun touches

(also this guys body type KILLED ME it took me sooo many tries)

ᵃˡˢᵒ ᶦᵏ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵇᵃʳⁿᵃᶜˡᵉˢ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ᶦˢ ᵏᶦⁿᵈᵃ ʳᶦᵈᶦᶜᵘˡᵒᵘˢ ᵗᵒ ᵃˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᶦᶠ ᵘ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᶦᵗ, ᵇʸ ᵖᶦʳᵃᵗᵉ ˢᵗᵃⁿᵈᵃʳᵈˢ ᶦᵗ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵇᵉ ᵃ ᵛᵉʳʸ ˢᶦᶜᵏ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶦⁿᵗᶦᵐᶦᵈᵃᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵖᵒʷᵉʳᶠᵘˡ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ. ᶜᵘᶻ ʸᵏ, ᵏᵉᵉˡʰᵃᵘˡᶦⁿᵍ…

i bet he misses bianca alot poor guy,

also here's my most cursed head canon: he's a polar bear and is often in very warm environments, so y'all think he just like.... cuts and thins his fur?

Im so sorry y'all but I can just imagine him at 2 am just crying next to a pile of his own fur because oh God this is so hard, I imagine the whole process of doing that to ur whole body routinely with tools that break is probably similar to the process of undoing protecting braids for folks who have afro textured hair, but I wouldn know personally I've just heard how much the process can be time consuming and be kinda tiring 0-0

Also I cant believe I haven't mentioned this yet but I think he's like 8 feet tall, which compared to most of his crew being at smallest 4.7 to 5.8 he's just huge compared to them XD. I tried to make like conversions based on irl animals and etc, but the captain is like literally The Tallest A Person Can Be. Like y'all know polar bears are The Largest and Tallest pawed mammals to exist??? like 13 feet tall irl

im just so proud of him he is so compassionate and supportive and cares so much about everyone and everything-

fanny pouch ahh belt

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 3 - San Fransokyo

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

[redbootsindoriath]

Apparently in my absence this post had its 1000-notes-iversary.

This time we get to see the culprit responsible for ruining our heroes' lives as well.

I've really missed you guys, by the way. I know I've said that already, but I'm serious. Once or twice this year I've been right on the brink of coming back but schedule stuff always keeps me from letting myself commit to that again, and that in turn has kept me from posting anything at all. But I've been in an unexpected drawing mood lately and so if I can get enough stuff to set up a queue we might pretend I'm back for a month or so sometime this year. Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see. No promises though. That's why I'm hiding this paragraph under the cut.

Transcription:

[Beren:] "Uhhh...barkeep...I think he's had enough now..." [Tolkien:] "No, I don't think he has...!"

[solradguy]

I never brought a spoon to lunch in high school for my fruit cups because I was convinced it was more efficient to lap the fruit pieces out of their syrupy broth with my long freak tongue and not a single soul tried to stop me. Why did they let me do that

[slingbats]

just thinking

[sysig]

Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)