#which i am most definitely guilty of having done in the beginning

[crimeronan]

I feel like Luz “Separation Anxiety” Noceda would be a bit dismayed upon learning that Vee and her friends are going to graduate and go to college at the end of the school year (presuming that Freshman Sophomore Junior Senior are Human Realm Exclusive Terms)

Like “oh my entire social life actually revolves around you and your friends because I’m too awkward and different to know how to approach people and am too nice and accommodating to any and everyone because of The Horrors to tell anybody to back off if they get too nosy so truly I cannot fathom how I’m going to function in a school setting without you but it’s Fine :) I’m really happy for you and not at all going to cry about this :)))”

Maybe she’ll join the school band to try and become socially independent and then just get really sad cause she misses Raine :(((

baby girl :(

i think she'd have a kind of tough time in a school environment to begin with, honestly. i made a post to that effect earlier but decided it was too depressing and deleted it.... but! since i ended up thinking a LOT about how her school experience would be handled. the gist was:

she'd have a really good 504 plan in place -- 504 plans are written plans that help students with disabilities stay in a normal classroom. it would have accommodations like her getting pre-written notes about what they'd discuss in class, a slightly separate desk to avoid being unexpectedly touched by other students, blanket permission to step out into the hallway if she gets nervous, extra time on tests, etc.

she'd purposefully be matched with the friendliest teachers and the easiest graders, people who are Very willing to talk with her about her needs. and also to say "i'm not upset with you." probably the really relaxed english teacher from TTT is one of them. this occasionally does remind her of raine and make her feel incredibly guilty/sad :(

and i think she'd have a one-on-one aide assigned to sit with her and show her what she's supposed to do in a classroom and help her navigate between classes. most likely this person is with her all day except for during lunch periods, when she takes her break....

this definitely marks luz Other by the student body (as having a paraprofessional does for every kid in a mainstream classroom) but she actually does not mind it! it feels like being guarded & she's grateful to have someone telling her what to do.

(in my head the aide's name is miss delilah and she's an OC who exists purely to be really kind and understanding. because please god give luz this.)

even with all of this, though....

classrooms are not Easy for luz. in the canon, she has CRIPPLINGLY hyperactive ADHD and can't focus on anything going on. she's weird and offputting and exuberant and causes ten million problems.

here, she has a LOT of baggage from belos. not just the physical trauma, but also everything she's internalized about How To Behave. she's learned a lot about how not to annoy him. and school is a public-facing event, which means she's in full Gracious Princess Mode. trying to make herself as small and unobtrusive as possible

so all of her concentration goes into Sitting Still and Being Quiet. she can't anxiously stim without disrupting the classroom, she can't chatter without annoying people, she can't chew through pencils or rip up paper without attracting Concern.

this is. incredibly stressful!! for her!!

stressful enough that she can't really retain anything the teacher says in classes. her homework is always done and her notes are always neat, but her quiz and test scores are Abysmal. because she either can't process the questions or can't remember the answers. because being in the classroom is Hard

which just adds another layer of stress. luz is like. PLEASE don't tell my mom. please please please please please don't tell my mom :(

vee doesn't really understand this -- she Loves the classroom. loves to sit at a desk and participate in discussion. loves to do worksheets. loves to get good grades and be a pleasure to have in class. Behaving Normally is a lot less stressful for vee than it is for luz.

which makes luz even clingier, when she can have lunch with vee or see her between classes. she's microdosing on being in the company of someone who feels Normal And Fine. and who has friends who clearly feel Normal And Fine. and who don't mind if luz is weird around them

luz being like oh!! you're going away. i see :) um. congratulations!! i'll be right back. i need to lock myself in the shower and cry so hard i throw up.

[bettsfic]

hi betts!

i’ve been a fan of yours for years now (training wheels is one of my favorite stories— not just fics. stories— ever, and i really admire your style. as a writer myself, i want to ask how you’re able to keep your motivation up to complete your projects? i feel like i start out so motivated when i fall in love with an idea, but once that fevered haze fades, it’s almost impossible for me to get the motivation i need to write. i have a few wips that i feel so guilty about not finishing/not wanting to finish/wanting to finish but being unable to get the inspiration to. so, in short, how do you maintain the motivation to finish your wips?

thank you so much! i'm glad to hear it; training wheels is still very dear to me.

first, if you want a step by step guide to finishing your wips, i wrote a tutorial earlier this year in my newsletter.

also as i've said elsewhere, i believe it's more important to follow your inspiration and interest where it takes you even if it means not finishing things. one of the reasons i love fanfic is because it's the only genre i can think of where you get to read unfinished works and be present during the writing of them.

but you asked about *my* motivation to finish things, and i'll say it's taken me a long time to build the endurance necessary not only to complete big projects but also complete them to my satisfaction. in my experience, the better you are at finishing things, the worse you become at starting them, and so whereas i used to have a million wips and ideas happening at once, now i can see the ridiculous endeavor ahead of me and pick my battles more knowledgeably.

also, i don't finish everything, especially not right away. sometimes i sit years on a story before i eventually come back to it. but i've found that it's inevitable that when i put something down that i care about, i'll come back around to it when i'm ready. it's not something i have to force. my attention and interest bounces around all over the place but the things i love, i love forever. so i'll always come back around to them.

most importantly--and this is really very important--i lie to myself.

here are the two main lies i tell myself:

"this is the best thing i've ever written," and

"i'm almost done."

being a little delusional is a huge benefit as a writer. if you're too honest with yourself nothing can get done. but i've always had a natural talent for convincing myself of things that aren't true and although that's gotten me in a lot of trouble in all other aspects of my life, in writing it keeps me just far enough away from reality that i can finish things.

the process is something like this:

vague story idea!

will probably be very small, the shortest story i have ever written in fact

begin writing

feels good, feels organic

no no that's not right, bad vibes

start over

ohhh i see what i'm trying to do

outline the tiniest, easiest outline i have ever made. five bullet points. this happens, and then this and this, and the story ends. EASY

will finish by tomorrow, probably

write write write

will finish by tomorrow, probably

write write write

definitely tomorrow, almost done

check word count. 25k. uh oh

doesn't matter, almost done. have *checks* four out of five bullet points to go

write write write

five point bullet outline no longer effective

re-outline. five points turns into five pages. uh oh

check word count. 60k. big yikes

but! almost done! will finish tomorrow, probably

write write write

get stuck? how? but the outline...

the outline is ineffective. re-outline.

check word count. 100k. :(

almost done :)

a plot knot arises. spend six hours staring at a wall to undo the plot knot

plot knot is more insidious than expected. open new document. start over

*now* i'm almost done

rewrite, restructure, reorganize

check word count. 20k. :(

write write write

check word count. 200k. :((

weeks-long fugue state during which i am god

awaken to filthy apartment. i have not eaten a vegetable in many days. i have not seen the sun.

eat a broccoli

go outside

am i living? am i truly living? is this all life is? am i loved? am i worth loving?

return to safety of fictional world to avoid existential despair

write write write

will finish by tomorrow, probably

so it's really less about motivation to finish and more about motivation to chase down an increasingly elusive feeling of joy through immersion into worlds of my own making and control. it's way easier to run away from something than toward it.

[statelysapphic]

Thank You For The Music

Larissa Weems x Fem!Reader

Summary: Larissa finds you in the music room late one night. Song Fic.

Warnings: None, but let me know <3

A/N: Hi friends! I finally wrote a Larissa Weems fic, and I hope I've done her justice. This is lightly edited. As always, feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading! <3

Ao3 Link

“I’m nothin’ special, in fact, I’m a bit of a bore.”

Larissa stopped in her tracks. Her eyes narrowed as she shifted her gaze to the door beside her, slightly ajar. Yes, this was the music room. But the voice she heard producing the melody was not that of the music teacher. And at the late hour, she hoped it wasn’t a student.

“When I tell a joke, you’ve probably heard it before.” 

The voice. Angelic, unfamiliar. Captivating. Raising an eyebrow, the Principal tiptoed toward the door.

“But I have a talent, a wonderful thing,” 

You do, Larissa thought to herself, feeling entranced by the music flowing from the room in front of her. 

“‘Cause everyone listens when I start to sing, I’m so grateful and proud. All I want is to sing it out loud,”

Without realizing it, the Principal moved closer and closer to the source until the mysterious musician was in view. Her jaw dropped. Although she wasn’t sure whom to expect, she definitely didn’t expect it to be you, the new History Teacher at Nevermore Academy.

“So I say thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing,”

As you belted out the chorus, still unaware of your boss’s presence, Larissa began to feel somewhat guilty. She had been so busy with her duties as Principal that she really hadn’t gotten to know you, though you had been here for a few months now. Outside of the hiring process, the only interaction she had with you was when you asked to include a few Normie History lessons in the curriculum, to which she was more than willing to oblige. She knew what you looked like on paper, but not you. And whether or not she was ready to admit it, Larissa wanted that. 

“Thanks for all the joy they are bringing. Who can live withou-“

Larissa had shifted slightly, causing the floor beneath her to creak loudly and you to stop singing. The blonde held her breath, feeling her face warm as she watched your body tense and turn to face her. She had been caught, and well, so had you. 

“Goo- Good evening, Principal Weems,” you manage to choke out as you feel your anxiety begin to rise, immediately thinking she’s here to reprimand you. “I hope I haven’t disturbed you; I realize it’s quite late.” 

“Please, darling, call me Larissa,” she said, “And no, you haven’t disturbed me. I’m just thankful you aren’t a student,” she chuckles, “because you saved me a lot of paperwork.” Larissa smiles softly, hoping to ease the younger teacher's mind. “I am curious, however, as to why you are teaching History instead of music. You have a lovely voice.” 

Larissa moved further into the music room, quietly shutting the door behind her before she sat on a folding chair adjacent to the grand piano. “Well, I supposed music has always been more of a hobby,” you offer, “that, and most Normie schools don’t cut funding to the history department.” Larissa burst into laughter at your nonchalant response. You decided then and there that it was the most wonderful sound to ever grace your eardrums, and you’d stop at nothing to hear it again and again and again.

“I suppose you’re correct,” she replied, still chuckling to herself. A comfortable silence fell and hung only for a moment before she asked, “Care to finish your tune? Abba, was it?” Gesturing to the piano. “For me, of course.”

“Su- Sure.” You nodded, body stiffening. A wave of panic crashes into you at the prospect of performing for your boss. You closed your eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, reminding yourself that she had already caught you singing, and if she hadn’t enjoyed it, she wouldn’t be asking you to continue. Larissa watches intently, taking note of how quickly you squandered your fear. The way your shoulders dropped, your back straightened, and your fingers flowed across the ivory keys.  

As you began to play, Larissa found herself mesmerized by the soft but confident timbre of your voice. No, she didn’t know you well. But she did know that it took a specific type of Normie to apply for a position at Nevermore, especially after the incident that occured the previous school year. Your resume stood out to Larissa, and your experience and education put you miles ahead of other candidates. But it was your acceptance of and respect for Outcasts that made her choose to hire you. However, it was the intensive background search Sheriff Galpin conducted that truly solidified your position on the Nevermore staff.

As the song came to an end, Larissa lightly clapped her hands together, offering you a toothy smile. “You’re quite talented, Professor,” she affirmed, “And might I say, I’m quite impressed at how well you’ve acclimated to life here. Though the students were apprehensive about welcoming another Normie teacher, they speak highly of you.” 

“You’re too kind, Larissa.”

“I mean it,” she asserted, raising her brows, “You’re a fantastic addition to our staff.” Her words wrapped you in a warmth you hadn’t felt in years. A small grin tugged at the corners of your mouth. 

“Thank you, Larissa, that means a lot coming from you.” For a moment, you found yourself lost in the womans eyes. And though you weren’t certain, she seemed to have done the same. A comfortable silence fell between the two of you. Something about it felt familiar, which caused you to begin playing once again. Nothing in particular, just a relaxing melody to fill the empty space. 

You glanced up at the older woman. Her head leaned slightly to one side, eyes closed, and the softest grin painted her face. You couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking about, given her body language. Not an ounce of stress in sight. She looked beautiful. You have a lot of respect for Larissa and what she does for the school and for her students. A few minutes pass and you decided to wrap up your tune when you noticed your boss begin to yawn. A feeling of pride settles within you knowing you were able to relax the woman. After all, she was alo awake at this unholy hour. 

“Would you like to accompany me to the Weathervane for a hot chocolate on Saturday morning?” Larissa asked. “I realize I haven’t taken much time to get to know you, and I would like to change that.” She paused, gaining the confidence to add, “There’s also a lovely little book shop around the corner that I think you would adore.”

“I’d like that very much.”

“Wonderful.” Larissa stood from her chair and gracefully made her way to the door. Silently, you admired the woman before you. Her gentleness, benevolence, beauty, and hospitality all at the forefront of your mind. Although you had yet to learn the intricate details of her life, you knew the type of person Larissa Weems was. And you were falling in love already. “And get some rest, will you?” She asked, smirking and raising a brow. “Goodnight, Professor.”

“Goodnight, Larissa.”

[marengogo]

The Thing Is - 4: Guilty Because Wanted Guilty.

Listening to the playlist WHO IS A HAEGUM.

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

⚠️TW - Imma be unnecessarily honest. I’ll curse A LOT. I’ll mention human depraved actions while still censuring them, but yeah. I need to put my heart in peace, so I can advance in this “war” feeling less angry/frustrated/aggraved and hopefully a bit more savvy. ⚠️

My dear Gurls, Bois and Enbys,

Hope you are handling life with better wits about yourself than I am. I’ve tried to look at all sides in this "SK-Media Sich" we are in, I’ve been crying, ranting and yelling during Mercury Retrograde and I’ve been silently nodding my way through the past couple of days, but surprise-surprise, I’m done with alla dat, so I’m here to bitch and let bygones be bygones. I just gotta do it loudly if not my brain will not register, cause you know I’m getting old an all.. And by bygones I mean, the hope that SK Media will, somehow, see the light and rectify their ways.

SK-MEDIA 👏🏾 DOESN’T 👏🏾 LIKE 👏🏾BTS.

The quicker we get that engraved in our skulls the easier EVERYTHING will get.

They absolutely never had, they presently definitely don’t, and most likely never will. Media is a profession, and like every profession they need money, to make a living you know, like I do, and you do. However, there are certain jobs which have a moral code that should be higher than others. Such as doctors, lawyers, law enforcement officers, to name a few, as they are directly involved with the safety of citizens/civilians. Media, in the big year of 2024, should also be considered directly involved with the safety of citizens/civilians. 

Media is supposed to be the eyes and ears of the citizens, so that, among the many things, we can be properly informed, in order to make the rightful judgement and/or be warned of dangerous situations we might encounter, so that we can be properly prepared. All the while, presenting themselves with integrity, by always upholding good ethics and abiding by a wish of reporting truthful news. Well, my people, SK MEDIA HAS MANAGED TO DO NOT A SINGLE THING OF THE AFOREMENTIONED.

NOT ONE.

To begin with: They are fucking bullies. 

Honestly you need to look no further, no k-drama, no old-school urban legend, just figure out who they hate and you’ll have A-Team Bully Squad What?! You thought all those years of bullying, or being bullied, at school would have gone wasted once you graduated from the education system? Child … . Once they’ve found their target, complete annihilation is the goal. Did you drink a few? Caused no physical harm to anybody, damaged no property, but fell at the entrance of your property, mainly because of a sharp turn, took full accountability, and immediately apologised? 

AYTE, BET.

Fuck all the women in my country that have been finding it excruciatingly hard to live in their own country. Fuck the young girls who are being contantly s3xuall1 h4rassed. Fuck the upcoming generation suffering from so much collective generational trauma that they may not even make it past elementary school age alive. Fuck the fact that my own country is, for the most part, raising entitled male brats, who don’t fundamentally understand the value of life. Fuck the fact that when S-M Entertainment was created, they unfortunately ended up also creating the foulest and most flawed system for success, aka the Idol Sytem. FUCK ALLA DAT. You don’t go through SK Media to guarantee your success? You don’t pay us to keep your darkest secrets? You offended us in some kinda way? You are not part of the Elite? … You are a woman? … We will end you, bro! Illegally or illegally, cause, who’s gonna stop us?

… And you wonder why K-ARMY has been acting like they have? 

And I am not talking about the ones who became anti, FUCK THEM TOO, they are the type of people, who would kick out their own children if they were caught doing the same thing, instead of figuring out causes, teaching accountability and figuring out punishments and future prevention. I’m talking about the K-ARMY who presently are so paralysed by fear that they are scared of even breathing in the fear that perhaps their government/police/media will create some inexistent crime and pin it on 🐱cause we all know how fact checking is paramount and still alive nowadays … 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡. Even as we speak, K-ARMY fear that Samsung might decide to drop 🐱, which hey, it’s your country, do what you gotta do, I can almost guarantee you that Apple is probably literally outside the door waiting for their opportunity, cause here in the West we have our 99 big issues, but an inebriated kickboard, ain’t 1. 

They are living this Black Mirroresque kinda reality everyday. You know who else is? 🐱. He is also very aware of how things work in his country UGH! does after all have a reason for existing, can’t stress this enough … and though he definitely would have the right to contest unnecessary mistreatment, he knows he will definitely “die” before he even “attempts to get to the top of that hill”, which is why after he’s done all he needed to do, he’s handeed himself to the A-Team Bully Squad for their Exclusive + Deluxe Treatment reserved to the likes of 875. 

Y’all want an extreme example? Here we go:

Picture Germany, 1943 yes I’m going there , their Media at the time was completely controlled by their government, hence allowing them to report lie after lie after blasted lie to their citizens, in addition, from the testimony of many a citizen citizens swore up and down to not know what was going on the concentration camps, just “people would go in, and never come back out …”. So it was that many German Jews because lets not forget that they were all German, just not “aryan” , decided to either find ways to fight which will almost certainly ended in them being k1lled, or just directly un4live themselves rather than being subjugated to that hell, the majority as we all know, had no other choice but to comply. 

Yet we do have the likes of Schindler, who managed to save hundreds of German Jews. How did he do that? He most certainly did not try to go against the Media or the government in power, I can guarantee you that. He found other trusted non-Jew Germans, who had contacts with Allies, who had other contacts and so on and so forth. But it was all covert. After all the Allies existed, they were fighting the war, they all knew what was going on in Germany and eventually they found their way to get in and help put an end to it all. 

In this horrendous scenario, I-Army are the Allies and K-Army is Schindler, but unfortunately, I have no idea how we can help them, because it has to come from them to us, not the other way round, as we know nothing about how to deal with things over there, BUT, if they need help they all know where to find us and how to get the help they need without attracting unwanted gazes, I’m sure of that. So we must let them be and we will be here for them if/when they need. 

While the rest of the world slowly keeps finding out about the SK Media Clown Show, we’ll keep doing our “storming”. We won’t be silent, we’ll keep reporting injustice, we’ll keep fact-checking and make sure that people also do the same, we’ll keep reporting fake/anti accounts, we’ll keep sending fan letters even if it is just 3 per month now we’ll keep buying merch, we’ll keep streaming songs, we’ll keep doing projects in their name, etc etc etc. 

I will never surrender.

Because they are worth fighting for.

Good. I've let it all out. Now it's time to go report some k-anti accounts!

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

FUTURE IS GONNA BE OKAY, LET'S HANG IN THERE Y'ALL!

[reds-skull]

Hi sending this as an ask so you can answer it whenever it’s convenient.

The Hunter (and his men) knew way to fucking much about Simon and it was fucking creepy (great job!). The only person I can think of who would have that info and motive to go after Ghost would be Roba. He’d have the knowledge and hatred of Ghost and it would take time to build back his forces after Ghost dismantled them the first time. Turning and placing moles, building up a loyal army with enough money to hire Ghost not to mention the (red)skull motif and his apparent age. I know I’m probably wrong but is fun to guess and I’m super excited to find out what’s going on regardless.

I really liked this fic and I’m sad it’s almost over Ghost and Soaps relationship through the whole fic was handled really well and I think felt organic. From their first meeting (Soap was feral and Ghost didn’t know what to think lol) to Soap repeatedly saving Ghost’s life (metaphorically and literally) to eventually finally trusting each other (and those around them) and realising their mutual feelings.

Gaz is the best friend ever and is not paid nearly enough to put up with Soaps (and now Ghosts) bullshit. The man was ready to throw down if needed but still listened to trusted and trusted Soaps judgment, meanwhile Price is having multiple nervous breakdowns (respect) and is still keeping is children men inline and on task. He feels so guilty about failing Simon and MacTavish when it wasn’t even his fault both times to begin with it was out of his hands. This time though he’ll save them.

It’ll be interesting to see what Laswell turns up with after she finishes hunting down their leak… I almost feel sorry for whoever it was.

I loved the parallels between the story and the snippets of poem, that was so well done and cool! Am I correct in reading that you wrote those poems yourself? Because I didn’t realise till I got to the end note and wow i don’t even have words… I thought they were off some old poetry anthology I’d never head about and was going to look it up to read it.

Hi! Thank you a lot of the kind words <3

I do like your theory about Roba being the Hunter, and I do agree it would be the only logical option for their real identity... if it weren't for the poems.

I'm so happy you found Soap and Ghost's relationship dynamic organic, it was a part I struggled with, and I'm not sure that I managed to execute exactly as I wanted haha

I feel so bad for Gaz and Price in this AU, unfortunately everyone kinda got the short end of the stick with how the turn of events meant the 141 was never fully formed...

I don't plan on showing exactly what happens to the rat Laswell eventually finds, but you can be assured they'll probably suffer. She can definitely be scary when she feels the need to.

And I'm so so glad you mentioned the poems! Yeah, I wrote them but I was heavily inspired by a specific collection of English poems from the 10th century (the correct word for it is a codex actually but it's basically a collection). I'll be going in depth about what exactly is going on there in the post script, because it's basically another story I told in parallel to the main one in the fic. And I'll certainly give the name of the codex so you can read it, it's a little complicated to understand because it had to be translated from Middle English (and apparently every word there can be interpreted in like 3 different ways, not to mention the amount of missing pages and possible mistakes from copyists, but that's part of the course with books from over 1000 years ago...). The stories told there, and the language they used to convey them, is really unique and beautiful in my opinion.

I was kinda sad when no one seemed to bring it up, I figured most people just skipped them or they were just sort of too confusing lol, which is why I'll basically explain what I wanted the reader to understand from them in the post script (which I plan on posting at the same time as the last chapter, unlike with Not Alive, Nor Dead). The post script will also have a timeline for the fic, and how exactly it diverges from canon, as well as the deleted scenes and an extra poem I couldn't fit in the fic.

For now, I'll say the true identity of the Hunter is tied to those poems, and their character wouldn't really make sense if you skip them...

[soullessjack]

fave saw trap?

OOHH oh my god okay I have so many.

Obligatory reverse bear trap mention bc who doesn’t love her, she’s mother. she is the beginning with John and Amanda and she is the end with Jill and Mark, she brings the narrative to a full circle despite her mechanical function being the opposite.

THE BATHROOM TRAP!!!!!! Obsessed with it. The shades of blue and white and the fluorescent lights, the grimy browns and greens and reds, all so absolutely beautiful together. Really pulls you into the dampness and coldness and the filth of it. Obligatory chainshipping mention also. Love those guys. Very normal about them.

the angel trap and its’ fatality is so so visually beautiful to me. she mothers extremely hard (god rest Kerry tho). truly one of the artsiest of the traps. I love the warmish shade of green in the room, and in the acid, and of course I love it contrasting with the red shade of the ribcage gore.

glass coffin for obvious reasons.. mark is soooo delicious in it with his hair all messy and his nose bleeding and his tits propped up I mean what hahah who said that . and I absolutely love the cold shade of blue it gives off, very lovely contrast with marks nosebleed also. and the whole coffinshipping thing. like it’s such a trust-based trap ironically. like, “you know what I’ve done you know who I am you know I am guilty and cannot be trusted whatsoever but will you throw away all of that and trust me anyways, is your will to survive strong enough to trust someone who ostensibly does not deserve it.” so delicious

I don’t like Jigsaw but I will admit the hot wax trap looked pretty cool, definitely one of the scariest of the movie. if you’ve ever seen 2005’s House of Wax it gives the same literally suffocating and uncomfortable feeling as Jared Padalecki’s character’s wax coating (and the horrendous peeling of it) bc you’re watching someone in such a helpless horrible position and relegated only to watching it.

the death mask is another super cool visual trap, love the green tint, love the spikes, even Michael’s eye injury looked cool! the snapping kill at the end was definitely cool too.

the nerve gas house 100% fav. I love saw 2 very dearly, both for Daniel and Amanda and for Mudvayne’s Forget To Remember song in the credits. I didn’t enjoy most of the traps in the house, mostly bc I felt like they could’ve been easily avoided or thought out better (but in the victims’ defense they were actively being poisoned) and also bc I wasn’t very attached to anyone outside of Danny and Mandy. Love the atmosphere of the house, the grime and dim fluorescence and yellow-greens (as a graphic designer warm tints like that are very good at giving off a sense of humidity and feverishness, really adds to the nerve gas poisoning and the claustrophobia of the house, too).

the horsepower trap. quick bonus for the green and yellows tints, but also I’m personally very drawn to settings with mechanical clutter. I’m not mechanically inclined in any way but visually I love looking at them and figuring out what they do. based mark for putting nazis in an inescapable trap also! the kills are deliciously brutal. the skin ripping scene, the windshield crash, the face smashing, and my absolute favorite has to be the arm/jaw yanking (specifically the jaw, idk I just think it’s neat. maybe not neat , per se, but one of those extremely gruesome things that you just can’t look away from. no pun intended it’s like a car crash).

the Mausoleum Trap. love the setting, a trap in a fucking mausoleum is metal as fuck. more traps should have spooky settings like that I think (a morgue trap would go so fucking hard also). love the colors, basically I love the entire concept but the execution could’ve bene way better (which can be said about a lot of 3D’s themes, especially the See/Hear/Speak/Do No Evil ones).

[fredbydawn]

You think Jigsaw was pro life?

This is a very interesting question that I find myself thinking about very often. Putting under a read more, cuz this is gonna be a long ass ramble

Full disclosure, I am pro-choice and have had an abortion, so my takes are obviously going to be influenced by that

I think about this a lot cuz there’s the popular question of “would you survive a Saw trap?” and my smart ass response has usually been “I don’t have to worry about it cuz I haven’t done anything worth putting me in a trap” but then I remember that I did in fact have an abortion so I gotta be on my toes 👀 cuz that lil puppet could be anywhere

There is a line when John has Cecil in the knife chair where he says he’s doing this because Cecil accidentally injured Jill and caused her to miscarry. But he words this as Cecil “killing an innocent child” (or something to that effect, I don’t have the exact words in front of me) and I think he doesn’t even mention Jill. Seeing the life of an unborn child as more important the health and safety of his literal wife seems very pro-life to me. That being said, I’m not totally sure whether or not John would put someone in a trap for having an abortion, nor am I sure he would stop a trap if he found out the person in it was pregnant (and therefore place the life of the fetus on the same or greater level than the pregnant person).

Like John’s philosophy is so interesting to me particularly because of how hypocritical he can be sometimes. Cause like his whole thing is “value your life” not necessarily to value life itself, and to prove that you value your life his tests will sometimes require you to harm or even kill another person, who sometimes hasn’t even done anything particularly heinous (i.e. Lawrence being tasked with killing Adam (who I fully believe was not intended to survive), or Zepp being tasked to kill Allison and her young daughter Diana (who fully didn’t do anything). So in that way I could see John potentially seeing someone getting an abortion as a way for them to take control of their life, particularly if they were pregnant by sexual assault.

But then again, John seems to have very little sympathy for people doing “bad” things due to the circumstances they find themselves in. I think there’s a conversation between him and Amanda in X where’s she’s basically like “hey, man, maybe these people are doing these things that they know are wrong and feel bad about because they have no other way to make money and survive?” and John’s just like “nah, miss me with that gay shit” so idk 🤷🏻‍♂️

There’s also a whole thing about how some of the larger games almost operate on a Silent Hill kinda level, where you’re facing the guilt that you have surrounding an event (such as Jeff’s game from III) and you’re made to confront the ways you’ve been punishing yourself. So while it feels almost like going down a supernatural route where we believe that John somehow has a way to assess how much something weighs on your psyche, I feel like if someone didn’t feel guilty about getting an abortion (which, most people don’t obvs) then they wouldn’t be put in a trap.

In general, I feel like the politics of the Jigsaw killer(s) is a rich and complicated vein of character interpretation. In the beginning there’s definitely a conservative vibe, people being put into traps because they’re sex workers, drug addicts, mentally ill, etc. But when we get to VI it starts to get a bit more capital l Liberal with corrupt insurance company employees being put in traps. But even still, like I said, preserving your life is considered the sign of success and there are very few traps where sacrificing yourself for another person is even an explicit option, let alone considered the “right choice.” So there’s that to think about, I guess.

Long an short of it, in my opinion;

John: still on the fence on whether he’d put someone in a trap for having an abortion, but might stop the test if he found out they were pregnant, especially if they wanted to keep it

Amanda: she strikes me as pro-choice-ish around the beginning of her apprenticeship, but just generally anti-life towards the end, probably wouldn’t put someone in a trap for having an abortion, but would not stop the test if the person in it was pregnant, whether they wanted to keep it or not

Hoffman: as much as he is my thick waifu, he’s also an incredibly corrupt cop so he’s probably leaning conservative, he might put someone in a trap for having an abortion (although there’s a whole nother conversation to be had on how much Hoffman actually believes in John’s philosophy, so he just might not care enough idk), but he would not stop the test if a person in it was pregnant

Lawrence: he’s a doctor, he’s intelligent, so he wouldn’t put someone in a trap for having an abortion, but I feel like he would stop the trap if the person in it was pregnant but only if they wanted to keep it since family is probably a soft spot for him

Logan: thinking about the Jigsaw movie gives me such a fucking headache so I don’t wanna think about it too much, but he did participate in the US invasion of the Middle East and works with the police, so yeah probably conservative and pro-life

Schenk: tbh probably the most left leaning of the apprentices (although technically he’s not an official John Approved™ apprentice, but whatever) so he might be pro-choice, but honestly idk

But that’s just my 2 cents :)🏖

[koraesrambles]

GREAT READING ADVENTURE PART 1 (CW: pictures from the Sandman comics may be disturbing to some)

I started with the Sandman, by Neil Gaiman. A legend in comic spheres, and one that I'd been wanting to read for a while.

I found 10 volumes at my local library and have made my way through two of them so far. First off, as a horror book DAMN. DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN these books do not pull punches. They come at you like a gut punch and just keep going. I like to describe myself as someone who enjoys "horror lite" I love monsters, I love angst and crazy situations and some messed up stuff, but I'm kind of a baby about it. Things like Supernatural, Gravity Falls (It's kid friendly, but there's blood!), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, that's my jam (wow, that list makes me feel about 5 years old, but whatever! I like what I like!). The Sandman Is Not That.

The Writing

Don't get me wrong, it is beautiful in every way, but it's also a lot for a wussy like myself. I'm enthralled, captivated, unable to look away, but there have been multiple times where I've needed to close my eyes for a second and remind myself that this is a comic book, and the world isn't necessarily this dark all the time. I'm pretty triggered by children in danger/getting hurt/dying and these books don't shy away from that. But they're also just . . . so beautiful.

The writing is annoyingly amazing. I expected nothing less, it is Neil Gaiman, but sometimes as a writer you look at other people's writing and just sit back in awe. I wish I could write something like this. Or, if not exactly like this, something as beautiful and poignant as this. The story flows so beautifully. Every scene perfectly blending in with the next. Every word feels like it has a point, which makes you want to pay attention to everything to make sure you're not missing anything.

Writing is my main background, but comic writing is so different from prose. This is what I struggled with the most while drafting up OUTCAST ODYSSEY, how do I get everything across that I need to when I can't just write it all out? How do I pace it when telling a story with pictures vs words feels so different? But Neil does this so well. It felt lyrical, and I could see his influence on every single page. The art was done by someone else, but the ideas, the imagry, the way the story flows from one idea to the next, is all a result of absolutely phenomenal writing.

It reminded me to trust readers to read between the lines. It's difficult to find the line between "subtlty" and "confusing" and I am often guilty of feeling like I need to spell things out to my readers so that they won't miss anything, but more often then not that just slows down the plot and makes the whole experience clunky. You don't want to go too far in the other direction either, but Neil knew who his audience was and trusted them to at least give things a second glance. I was worried at the beginning that I'd be too dumb to figure out what he was hinting at, but he was able to patiently feed me the information without me getting frustrated or lost.

It's a skill that comes with experience and practice, but I feel like this story really really shines at it. I found myself studying the way he handled exposition and wanting to emulate it in my own work.

The Art

The art is also stunning. It's not "cute" art. It's not something that I would want to hang up in my house or look at for hours. It's amazing from a skill standpoint (which is easy for me to tell just due to my own extremely obvious shortcomings) but it's not concerned with everyone looking like hollywood movie stars.

Which . . . I mean, that's definitely a feature, not a bug. This story is not supposed to be cute, and a cutsy art style would absolutely ruin the atmosphere. It is rough and full of sharp points. it doesn't shy away from nudity or gore. The characters are not attractive, these are not anime stars, but they are compelling, and distinct enough that I was able to easily tell who everyone is, which is more often then not extremely difficult for me (i think I may be a bit face-blind).

The art adds to the horror of everything. Even when things are supposed to be calm, or sexy, or whatever, there's an edge of panic and unease to it. Part of that is the reader knowing that there's more going on behind the scenes then the character knows, but it's also the style. The heavy black shadows, the hard lines, the emphasis on some details while the obscuring of others, it all combines to perfectly compliment the writing. It's not a pleasure to look at, but that's absolutely the point. It's also extremely difficult to look away FROM. How can something simultaneously look jarring, eerie, and unpolished, while also whispering "Yes. This is beautiful art. Look at it. Bask in it."?

I'm a newbie artist. It's way beyond my skillset to even begin to figure out how they were able to accomplish this. But someday I hope I figure out the secret.

The art perfectly compliments the writing, and the two work together to tell the story. I remember feeling a little annoyed on the artists' behalf that the Sandman is always known as "Neil Gaiman's" when the art side of comics is so incredibly important. The art sets the tone and compliments the words. It helps with reading between the lines and helping us know how seriously we should be taking the words.

Characters

All of the characters are great! Except the ones I already knew. I'm not saying they were bad, just bland compared to everyone else. Constantine, the Justice League, every cameo that came up and I was excited for felt . . . not quite out of place, but not quite seamless either. I was most excited for Constantine, and he was fine, but I probably have enjoyed him more in every other comic I've ever seen him in. I know they were all included just to try and sell the first few issues of a new story, and I respect that (the amount of comics that I've read just because my favorite character showed up for a few panels is . . *cough* embarrassing), but I was kind of bummed by how little conflict they added to the story.

Constantine immediately agrees to help Morpheus (which, okay, he can see how powerful Morpheus is and doesn't want to get on his bad side, totally in character. But I like Constantine best when he's being a bit of a dickhead), when I was really expecting a bit of tension or at least antagonism between them. We briefly see Etrigan but he is so quickly outshined by Lucifer that I nearly forgot about him, Scarecrow shows up but I didn't really feel like he added much besides a familiar face, we see Scott Free (who I know very little about) and J'onn (whose reaction to Dream was probably the most interesting) but all they do is immediately tell Morpheus where he needs to go. Why were they so quick to be okay with this obviously terrifying powerful force just grabbing stuff? I guess I understand why J'onn was okay with it, since he knew who Morpheus was, but it still felt weird that there wasn't even a single moment of hesitation or resistance. They basically served as a plot GPS.

Again, there's nothing wrong with any of them, they just didn't feel as vibrant as all of the other characters we were introduced to. Even the woman who gave Dr. Destiny/Dr Dee a ride was more vivid and felt more real and purposeful than the cameos did. At least to me.

The original characters (or at least everyone I didn't recognize. Was Dr. Dee a Gaiman original or had he shown up previously? Cuz he was very much A tier villain for me,) were all amazing and vivid and lively. I cared about them way faster than I normally do, especially at the very beginning of a story. The cameos felt exactly like what they were: Cameos to sell the book.

Final Thoughts

This book is, objectively, better than anything I will ever create. And that's not even a diss on myself, it's just objective fact on the quality of this piece. I learned a lot looking through it, trying to figure out what Gaiman did that worked vs didn't. The lyricism vs crassness of the writing, the way the art complimented the dialogue, how the panels flowed and where it was easy for me to follow vs where I got a little confused. It's a beautiful book and I can absolutely see why it's a graphic novel must read. I'm planning on reading the rest of the series, but I can only read one volume a day, because the horror of it all absolutely follows me after I close the last page.

[surplus-of-sarcasm]

HI would you consider doing a second part to the latest piece you posted? it's so good!! hope you're well :7

Sure!! I'm sorry it's a little late but to give you a reference of how much work I've got, yesterday I stayed up till 4 am doing homework, falling asleep at 5 am. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it ;).

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

The Eighteenth One, Pt.2

TW: Torture mentions, blood, vomit, refrences to a difficult past

Villain makes their way out of the cell, relocking it again with their fingerprint which is difficult because they need both their hands to keep Hero's unconscious form from tumbling to the ground.

They stomp upstairs, their nemesis's body now slung over one shoulder, and they head straight to Supervillain's office. They knock carefully on the hardwood door and they're met with an exasperated sigh and "For the last time, I told you, Supervillain ca-"

Henchman immediately stops in their tracks, transfixed as they catch notice of their superior's face, one eyebrow raised in mild annoyance.

"I-I'm sorry, Villain. I didn't notice it was you and. . ." they stammer.

Villain cuts them off, raising one hand and then pointing to the door.

They smirk a little to themselves as Henchman scrambles aside to let them through. They were guilty of having a taste for power. It could've come come from the many years they'd spent stripped of control, fighting to scratch out a name for themselves, even if they had nothing but their own nails and teeth.

"Ah, Villain!" Their boss's smile slowly fades as they raise an eyebrow at the sight of the unconscious crime fighter in their arms.

"How did the interrogation go?"

Villain feigns a tired sigh of exasperation. "They won't talk. They're one of those 'moral high ground' types. And they seem to be trained to handle a lot. But definitely not what I've got planned for them."

Supervillain's eyes light up in that creepy, sadistic manner of theirs that had always secretly made Villain uncomfortable. "And what do you have in mind?"

"I've been working on something for a while now. Pain-inducing chemical with very potent effects. I needed a human test subject, and who better to fill this role than lovely, little Hero over here?" They shift the hero's body, so that they're in their arms again, and their stomach twists in knots at the fabricated, sick, twisted smirk that they know is playing on their lips.

"How ingenious! I'd love to see a demonstration." Villain had never seen their superior so nauseatingly excited as whenever someone was about to get hurt.

How could someone have that much of an affinity for pain?

"The thing is, the serum's back home, so I thought it'd be more efficient if all was said and done there." Their heart hammers in their chest, and the air seems to have been knocked out of their lungs, the facade of composure becoming more difficult to keep up.

After a few unbearable seconds, Supervillain nods their confirmation at them. Letting a small, fake grin cross their lips, they make their way out of the office, and let out a quiet sigh of relief.

They don't have time to worry about their sore arms as they drive to their house, Hero laying across the backseat.

They lift them into a bridal carry once more, and the crime-fighter begins to stir in their arms.

"W-whe-re am I?" they slur.

"My place. Supervillain took the bait, and you're in no condition to just be left like that on your own."

Hero nods shakily at them in response.

They insist on cleaning themselves up unassisted, showering and only letting Villain bandage up the wounds they can't reach.

But all of a sudden, Hero grips the doorframe with both of their hands and rushes into the bathroom. They grip the sink tightly with both of their hands and start dry-heaving.

They start to throw up heavily, and it's not just bile, but there's blood mixed in with it too.

Goddamn it.

They don't know what could possibly lead to this. Poison seems like the most likely option. They stand there, almost glued to the floor, their brain seeming to have short-circuited.

Villain peels off the sweater they lent them, now dirty and covered in vomit. They notice their back is covered in dull, ugly lacerations. Which weren't characteristic of Supervillain's prisoners before they even got the chance to be interrogated. Weird.

They place a hand on Hero's upper back, rubbing circles into it with their fingers. They've seen it in movies, and strange as it sounds, it was their only refrence for comforting touches, a seemingly alien concept in Villain's world.

It seems to have reached the desired effect because Hero eases up a little, letting their shoulders fall as the criminal dissolved the tension in them with their touch.

They wash the Hero's face for them. They shift their position so that they're sitting with their back against the bathtub. Villain hands them a glass of water from the kitchen.

"Drink slowly. Don't rush so you don't throw it all up again. Anyway, were you poisoned?"

Hero coughs a little. "Water wasn't clean. Nor enough. But it was this or total dehydration. You know how Supervillain cares that their guests get the best treatment. And I got lavished with extra pampering of course." They let out an inelegant snort, coughing again.

Villain feels an odd tightness rising in their chest. Hero was right. Supervillain had gone further than usual with hurting them.

"Thank you," the crime stopper breathes out, somewhat awkwardly.

"You're welcome."

"Uh, are you alright?" Hero raises a concerned eyebrow.

They must've pulled a face because they catch themselves, quickly settling the muscles of their face into a more neutral, unreadable expression, and almost forcibly relaxing their posture, and they stop fiddling with strands of their long, wavy hair. "I'm fine," they state imperatively, in a tone that leaves no room for futher discussion.

But here they were, all because one hero had spared them. Taking care of them as though they weren't mortal enemies. Could this be a tactic? Would they hurt them once they recovered? Their head burned with questions.

But their mind was in shambles. They'd never had doubts about their, uh, profession, if that's what they could call it. All what they'd been through had eaten away any guilt or remorse for the things they'd done. Sure, Supervillain was a nutcase, but they'd never let that disturb them. They paid well, so they put up with it. But now more than ever, it was starting to get to their head.

Or was this one of those hazy times where black and white overlapped into a grey blur and things weren't so concrete anymore?

[i-put-the-ryan-in-orion]

Mastermind x reader

Requested by KailyD on Quotev

Original Post: Link

˗ˏˋ꒰𖦹｡🧪⋆°✰꒱ ˎˊ˗꒰‧₊˚⚗️☆༉‧₊˚. ˗ˏˋ꒰𖦹｡🧪⋆°✰꒱ ˎˊ˗




Quicksand.

Quicksand is a colloid hydrogel consisting of fine granular material, and water. Quicksand forms in saturated loose sand when the sand is suddenly agitated. When water in the sand cannot escape, it creates a liquefied soil that loses strength and cannot support weight. 


So in conclusion: quicksand sucks. 


Literally. 



Mastermind can feel the liquid-like sand seep deep into his scales as it slowly swallowed him, currently at his shoulders. If he wanted to survive, Mastermind just didn't have to struggle, that was key. This was his punishment until Queen Glory has yet to give him a real punishment for kidnapping RainWings and testing upon them. It only gave him time to think about what he had done and feel guilty about it. It also was what his son wanted. At least he’s wiser than he was about his actions. 

  "Hey." There was a voice above.

A RainWing appeared in shimmering (f/c) with a blow dart in their talons. "You kinda look like a very dark log in the mud." 
That was... random.

Then the RainWing kept talking. 
  "Do you like the weather? I really do! The clouds are so pretty and it sometimes brings the skylight." 
Mastermind moved his talons through the gooey substance, grasping at a tree root in his makeshift prison to stay up near the edge.
  "What is this skylight?" he asked, curious of the name. 
  "Well, it happens when the dark clouds come. Sometimes with rain and loud roars from the sky," the RainWing said, letting dark storm clouds of grey-blue spill over their scales in a sort of demonstration. Suddenly, a blue-white stripe streaked across the darkness of their exaggerated wings, before setting back to its shade of stormy dark grey-blue. "It's like a really fast white light that you can see if you don't blink. Trust me, it's the only way to see it. It's really cool to watch, until it lights a tree on fire." 
  "This skylight. Don't you mean lightning?" Mastermind inquired. 
  "Nah," the RainWing dismissed him. "I like the name skylight better."
He didn't know why, but Mastermind felt slightly hesitate (perhaps embarrassed) to ask in his scientific curiosity. 
  "How much do you know about storms?" 
  "A lot!" they exclaimed. Their head then snapped up to the canopy, ears and tongue flicking. Then, the mysterious RainWing guard vanished. 
  'That was rude,' thought Mastermind as he squinted into the green curtain above. 'Leaving in the middle of a conversation.' 
A pile of palm frond leaves then fell beside him, where the stormy RainWing materialized out of seemingly no where. No matter how much studying or observing Mastermind had done, he could never seem to cease to be amazed at the transition of the various greens that made perfect camouflage disappear be eaten away by eye catching dark grey-blue they once before. It really did stand out compared to the other, very bright Rainwings. It made them seem... more elegant in a way. Fierce yet elegant. Which seemed to be the perfect definition for the RainWing tribe. 
  "Anyway," the RainWing began to talk again, this time beginning to work with the slim leaves of the palm fronds into a pattern with their talons. "It rains different, ya know. Sometimes it doesn't actually fall from the sky (that is fog). Most of the time it does rain here, but depending on the season the rainforest can get different amounts of rainfall."

Mastermind was completely blown away. This RainWing was having a very intelligent conversation with him.

"Are you enjoying my company? You haven't said too much, so you're a good listener!" 
 Mastermind stuttered. "I do indeed find it interesting to listen to your fascination of storms," he said. 
  "That's nice," said the RainWing, glancing over at him from their weaving. "The other RainWings say I sound too smart and they usually aren't able to follow with me and get bored." 
  "Well, I am not too familiar with weather sciences," Mastermind told them. "But I am a scientist." The only weather that went on the Nightwing island was the dark overcast of volcanic smoke overhead and an occasional acid-like rain. Then again, it was Mastermind's job to monitor the volcanoes themselves and not the weather, which sounded kinda silly. 
  "It's pretty cool, I guess," the RainWing said. "It helps to know when it's going to rain and how much. And when the skylight hits the ground, then we can clear out certain areas so that a fire doesn't spread. And to help explain to the dragonets when they hear the cloud dragons roar so that they're not too scared of it." 
All of that was rather thoughtful and creative of the RainWing, Mastermind thought. He really did take their intelligence for granted. 

A drop of water splashed onto Mastermind's snout. The drops then began to increase in number until a steady rain formed, promptly soaking the two dragons. The RainWing finished their project and held it over Mastermind's sinking head. It was a little canopy, the palm fronds were weaved together expertly, packing them tight together to stay water tight, leaving Mastermind dry from the rain. 
  "Thank you," he said, studying the weave pattern they used on the canopy above him. 
  "No problem," they chirped, indigo flowers blooming onto their scales. "I know some dragons don't like to get wet." But the RainWing stayed in the down pour, their colors shifting to a memorizing drip-like cascade of blues, greens, and greys that matched the jungle rain storm. 
A low rumble of thunder gurgled in the distance as the day faded to the darker night. Then a brilliant flash of lightning streaked the sky above the jungle canopy, lighting up the dark in a brief cover of light. The stormy RainWing just giggled and stared in awe at it all like a dragonet. This really was a strange one for Mastermind...

[raeyapper]

tortured poets department song opinions if you don't care then don't continue reading

Fortnight ft post malone

i like this song so much more then I thought I would

like it's actually so good

not how I expected "I love you it's ruining my life" to be used but by gods do I love it

Overall 8.3/10

The tortured poets department

Its really good

Unexpected name drop in like the first minute

Okay just drop the fucking f bomb go off taylor

Oh shit she actually name dropped jack antinoff(?)

Overall 6.9/10 (haha 6.9)

My boy only breaks his favorite toys

I was actually scared for this one

HOW DOES THIS SONG ONLY HAVE 5K LIKES

This song isn't what I expected but at the same time it is

I really like it. It's giving delulu.

It's stuck in my head now tho.

Overall 7.7/10

Down bad

unexpected but totally welcome

I think this is one of my favorites so far

Also another f bomb in the chorus holy shit taylor.

Very katniss and peeta coded

This whole album is unexpected

I expect folklore Evermore type album, but it's like synth

which is fine it's still great just unexpected

Overall 9.2/10

So long London

Track 5 wish me luck :)

I am OBSESSED (with your ex) with the call and answer in the beginning ahfjdhsjdhchfj

I will never be the same after this song

This has changed me forever

But I love it so

Overall 8.9/10

But Daddy I love him

This right here is fear

Side note: Thank God this draft saved

THIS IS THE BEST SONG ON THE ALBUM I LOVE IT SM

girl taylor you can't just say shit like that then go "no I'm not"

I feel like this whole songs reason for existence was to freak people the fuck out.

Like that one line "I'm having his baby no I'm not but you should see your faces"

Taylor was like "what if I pranked their asses?"

But still my favorite so far

Overall 9.5/10

Fresh out the slammer

it was really good I liked it. Not as much as the others but I did like it.

Also why did the beat randomly change near the end. I'm not crazy that happened right?

Also that beat change was kinda giving reputation soooo

Overall 7.0/10

Florida!!! Ft Florence +the machine

I don't really know if I love it or like it yet

Its either gonna be one of my favorites or I will only listen to it once or twice.

But I will say Florence's voice is heavenly

Also f bomb number 3 taylor.

Overall either 6.3/10 or 8.4/10

Who's afraid of little old me? (I am. I'm afraid)

THIS THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT THE WHOLE ALBUM WOULD BE

I LOVE THIS ONE ITS MY FAVORITE PERIOD DONE THATS IT.

Hfjchdjdbfjfjd holy shit I am in love with you taylor swift

Overall 10.5/10 exquisite

I can fix him (no really I can)

AGAIN THE FOLKLORE EVERMORE VIBES IS WHAT I EXPECTED

this song is better than I thought and I love it oh so much

I envisioned mist or fog for this song idk why

It just has misty vibes

Still I love this song soo much

Overall 10.8/10 (they are just gonna keep going up I think)

loml

loss of my life at the end 😭😭😭

Literally the saddest song on the album

I love it sooooo much though

I just realized I think I forgot guilty as sin? Oops

Still 10/10 song

Overall 11/10

Guilty as sin?

I predicted that this song would be my favorite and it might be if I listen to it more but rn it isn't

It is the most relatable tho.

Am j allowed to cry apparently not.

I do really like this song tho

Overall 9.8/10

I can do it with a broken heart

I have 2 thoughts

1 this song is so relatable its funny

"I'm so miserable and nobody even knows"

This whole song is just like:

✨✨️✨️✨️ I'm super depressed ✨ ✨️✨️✨️

And she's so real for that

But thought 2

This song is so sad and now every time I watch the eras tour I will think of "the crowd keeps chanting more"

Overall 12/10

The smallest man who ever lived

H my God this is like literally a diss track

Like dam taylor he's already dead.

The bridge >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I was like "OH YEAH HERE WE GO" when that bridge started.

Overall 7.3/10

The alchemy

not what I expected

Definitely my least favorite

I don't know why but I don't like this one as much as the other ones

Overall 5.9/10

Clara Bow (again we are afraid)

this one was really nice

I like the message of like hey there were people before me and there will be people after me

Ya know like everyone is like omg your the next taylor swift

I like that she's addressing that.

Overall 9.8/10

Okay that's it I did the whole album. I will do the other bonus(???) Tracks later cause Jesus christ there is a lot of them. But thanks for reading my shit opinions on @taylorswift and the new album.

[thegeminisage]

SIIIGH it's tng update time. wednesday we did "the first duty" and thursday we did "the cost of living" and "the perfect mate." boy oh boy.

the first duty: my precious darling baby boy is back and now he's doing CRIMES. college sure did a number on him

do you think beverly got the news about the accident and was like wow this is just like that time my husband died and picard came in and was like listen wesley is fine...he's okay...and she was like (on the inside) yeah THIS time. this time he's okay. and she realizes in real time that no matter what some part of her will always be waiting, breath held, for that call. that's what i think

nice to finally meet boothby although shouldn't that guy be like 90 or 100 years old rn? he said when picard graduated ~40 years ago, he was the age picard is now (60ish). like idc enough to break out exact numbers but 80 at the VERY youngest. if this is utopia why is he still doing manual labor???

also wtf was that about how he helped picard out of a jam when picard did something sketchy...i wasn't paying enough attention to the details but idk that i ever caught what picard actually DID. i guess it couldn't be worse than killing a guy though or he wouldn't have got so mad at wesley

i love how they had wesley overexplain why he left his sweater in his dead friend's room to make absolutely sure we knew it WASN'T GAY and by virtue of the overexplanation made it sound like a lie someone would tell if it WAS gay. come on. who cares. he's in college. if he wants to be gay then let him and god bless

in today's very special episode about peer pressure, wesley gets a full-on lecture from his definitely-not-biological father picard. like, REALLY let him have it. poor kid. i mean someone did die though. like someone very much did die

i like how in the end wesley felt all guilty that their ringleader was like nooo just expel me and leave the others alone like he said he would AS IF he wasn't the entire instigator to begin with. they should have expelled everybody except wesley since he broke ranks and then also sent that little punk in particular to whatever the equivalent of jail is now. the penal colony. whatever. didn't they have hard labor in collision course lmao i hate starfleet <3

like, i love the IDEA that star trek takes place in utopia, i love to play in that space mentally, but the fact of the matter is most human beings, including the ones writing star trek episodes, are so cynical we can't even imagine a world without corporal punishment where everyone is taken care of no matter what. we can't imagine a utopia without an ugly underside, which is what starfleet has in practice. so.

ANYWAY.

once again i am fucked by the limit of 4k characters per text block. this drives me BANANAS.

the cost of living: ohhhh my god.

okay, maybe i'm a prude, but i do NOT think it's appropriate for alexander, who's like 2-3 in human years and 8-9 in klingon years, to be naked in a bath with deanna's narcissistic nymphomaniac of a mother. i just don't. i get that in some cultures, including betazed for sure and klingons maybe, and also definitely some real life ones, nudity is not a big deal among family especially in the context of like baths or swimming. however in america in 1992 which is when/where this was written it DEFINITELY would have been weird for this kid to be naked and in a bath with anybody but his immediate family of the same gender (parent or siblings). you could mmmaybe stretch it to an uncle or grandpa since alexander is so young. BUT LWANAXA IS NONE OF THESE THINGS. it made me. SO. UNCOMFORTABLE.

i guess the tng writers really like lwaxana and think she's funny and quirky, which is why they keep writing episodes for her. i mean, her actress is/was married to gene roddenberry and also voices the computers. i get it. she's your friend, have her back on. but for all the crimes done by her (usually against deanna, but also against picard and sometimes riker), and for all the crimes done to her (ferengi rape scenes played for laughs), this really took the cake. not only is she an unwelcome guest aboard the enterprise, which is a working vessel, not a cruise ship, she spends her time aboard it undermining worf's parenting and deanna's counseling IN HER PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT, and then KIDNAPS A STRANGERS CHILD (his parent nor his therapist knew where he was !!!) to take him to the holodeck to SIT NAKED IN THE BATH. and then later at her wedding while she was also naked she gave alexander this playful little wink because he was giggling. LIKE. AM I INSANE? genuinely does that episode make anybody else uncomfortable. i know they didn't do it like that on purpose but it aged so poorly to me. like i don't get it...are there other people who think lwaxana is unbearable or does she have like. stans. a huge mystery

i also really hate that in her usual way lwaxana made the episode all about her stupid midlife crisis instead of like. letting the episode be about worf attempting to parent alexander. we never resolved the dirty clothes on the floor situation. we never got to see their contract/chore chart or whatever. is this why people say worf is a bad parent?? i get he was being overly strict and uncompromising (so was alexander, ironically), but we never got to see where it went, and i am WAY more interested in all of that than lwaxana troi

also lmao i nearly forgot honorable mention to this episode secretly exploring the fascinating new scifi concept of online dating. people got an interenet connect and suddenly anything is possible.

the perfect mate: i can't believe i had to watch this one right after i just watched that other one. hurg.

first of all, cathy was like, do you recognize this hot lady, and i was like well it looks like jean grey but she's the wrong age, so i said no, and she was like, oh it's jean grey. so now no one will ever believe me. also, i'm glad they didn't kiss onscreen watching her rub his little bald head was already too much for me it's going to be so hard to watch xmen without thinking about this now

secondly, picard fights in the war against human trafficking on the side of human trafficking. WHY are his vibes so bad lately. even beverly was like "you can't fuck her, this is human trafficking," and he was like "no i asked and she said it wasn't human trafficking so it's totally cool!" are you kidding me

first of all, let's stop and look at the spooooky scifi concept of having a ~woman~ who molds her very personality (and libido!!) to fit the desires of whatever man she's around so that it's impossible for her to be around a man who DOESN'T want to fuck her because she's every man's perfect woman. (except data. king.) AND because she's sooo desirable she's being human trafficked. and. nobody saw any problems with fetishizing this??

i think deliberately leaving it open as to whether or not picard fucked her was a pussy move. i think that if he did fuck her (and i think he did) you might as well say so instead of being a little bitch about it. you already made him complicit in human trafficking

and if he DIDN'T fuck her it actually makes it very nearly profound, if you take out all the fetishism - because all these guys are falling all over themselves to fuck her because she's drawn that way (like jessica rabbit), but actually all she wanted was somebody who WOULDN'T try to fuck her (she alludes to this a couple of times when he assumes she's coming on to him when she isn't), and if picard didn't, and THAT'S the reason she imprinted on him or whatever, you actually have something there. it's not a great something, but it's still better than the steaming pile of garbage we actually got.

also, having her ~reach sexual maturity~ (oh yeah let's not forget that while an adult human woman plays her she's """barely legal""" as far as her own species goes lmao) and imprint and become picard's perfect woman forever and then get shipped off to be that politician's mail-order bride when he's the one guy who also doesn't want to fuck her is ??? bad and dumb. like i get that's the kind of fucked up ending scifi likes to go for but again we are coming out on the side of human trafficking here. like, this isn't a bittersweet love story. this woman got trafficked.

actually you know what it is. it's "elaan of troyius" from tos except with way less racism and slightly more sexism. in elaan of tryoius she had love potion tears and she used them to essentially date rape kirk (as a means to escape her own horrific situation, so it was nonconsensual on both sides, but less consensual on his) and in this episode there was no forced consent on picard's part but potentially dubious consent on HERS since she has no choice in anything. and she is demure and accepting of her fate whereas elaan of troyius wasn't. and in both cases they just got sent off as mail-order brides to live with whatever diplomat required the purchase of a whole human being in order to agree to peace. cool. u can KIIIND of understand kirk wanting nothing more to do with her (again, she raped him), but PICARD?? who was supposed to be in love with her??? cmon.

tonight: god help us: "imaginary friend" and "i, borg." that second title would normally make me optimistic but i am a woman devoid of all hope. if they're as bad as the last two we watching i don't know how i'll survive.

[kamreadsandrecs]

Title: The Murder of Mr. Wickham (Mr. Darcy & Miss Tilney #1) Author: Claudia Gray Genre/s: historical, mystery Content/Trigger Warning/s: murder, sexual harassment (off-page) Summary (from author's website): The happily married Mr. Knightley and Emma are throwing a house party, bringing together distant relatives and new acquaintances—characters beloved by Jane Austen fans. Definitely not invited is Mr. Wickham, whose latest financial scheme has netted him an even broader array of enemies. As tempers flare and secrets are revealed, it’s clear that everyone would be happier if Mr. Wickham got his comeuppance. Yet they’re all shocked when Wickham turns up murdered—except, of course, for the killer hidden in their midst.

Nearly everyone at the house party is a suspect, so it falls to the party’s two youngest guests to solve the mystery: Juliet Tilney, the smart and resourceful daughter of Catherine and Henry, eager for adventure beyond Northanger Abbey; and Jonathan Darcy, the Darcys’ eldest son, whose adherence to propriety makes his father seem almost relaxed. In a tantalizing fusion of Austen and Christie, the unlikely pair must put aside their own poor first impressions and uncover the guilty party—before an innocent person is sentenced to hang.

Buy Here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-murder-of-mr-wickham-claudia-gray/17502444 Spoiler-Free Review: This was a recommendation from my good friend Hope, and BOY is it a DELIGHT. I had to do some quick Wiki catch-up on a lot of the characters because there were plenty of holes in my memory for what happened to all these characters, but once that was done it was easy to dive right in.

Now, it might seem strange to put these familiar characters in a murder mystery, but I think that's part of what makes this book so compelling. It's sort of the same logic behind some of the darkest, most tragic series getting a crapton of coffeeshop AU fanfics: you want to see these characters in a different setting completely, in many cases one that's tonally different from the original, while still trying to maintain much of who they are. In the case of this book, taking Austen's mostly-genteel characters and settings, and then making them the stage for a murder, has a similar appeal. Even more intriguing, one of those aforementioned beloved characters is probably the murderer, which just adds to the appeal in my opinion.

(I also gotta say that I am unsurprised that Wickham is the murder victim here. Honestly, couldn't have happened to a better person. /s)

While I think the mystery itself was pretty well-plotted, what I most enjoyed was how this novel continued the lives of Austen's characters beyond their respective happily-ever-afters, and did so in a way that shows that, while a wedding might signify the end of a story, it does not signify the end of lives being lived. Marriage isn’t an ending; it’s a beginning: a beginning of a new way of living, with new ways of thinking and being and living with another person - especially true for characters of the Regency period when a couple wouldn’t have really had a very good chance to settle in with each other until after the wedding. I liked how this book showed that just because the wedding’s over and everyone’s ridden off into the sunset, it doesn’t mean that their lives are perfect.

This is most clearly shown in the character dynamics presented in the story. While a lot of their interactions feel familiar (and therefore "authentic" to the characters Austen wrote), there's also a lot that does not, because these are people who have changed over the time they've been married to each other. Austen's characters have layers, but Gray has added more layers, made them more complex and nuanced, by showing how the couples play off each other now that they're married. I think it's that combination of the familiar and the new that really makes the character dynamics shine and makes this book a joy to read.

While reading about Austen's characters is definitely entertaining and one of the major charms of this book, there's also the two original characters: Jonathan Darcy (son of Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth) and Juliet Tilney (daughter of Henry and Catherine). They were truly the stars of this book, and that's saying something given the powerhouse cast. Juliet is sharp in a way that reminds me of Elizabeth, almost, but the way she melds that sharpness with compassion and competency are truly her own, and make her a true standout.

And then there's Jonathan. It becomes immediately clear to the reader that he is neurodivergent: possibly autistic, but I can't say for sure as I'm not an expert. It was interesting to read how that fit into Regency society's understanding of such things, and how Jonathan and his family, and eventually Juliet, adjusted to it and helped Jonathan with it. I don't think the Regency period could even describe or had a word for Jonathan's neurodivergency, but it was still good to see the author handle the topic well.

Overall, this is a Jane Austen pastiche that does more than just parrot Austen’s works by expanding on the boundaries set in place by the original books, breathing new life into the characters by using the murder mystery as a way to imagine new angles to their dynamics. The original characters fit in well, and indeed managed to hold their own against the more familiar cast. There were many ways this could have been handled poorly, but I'm glad that this is an instance of a concept being handled very, very well. Rating: five bloody handkerchiefs

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: COCSA & CSA

Desperately seeking advice.

About two years ago, I started vaguely remembering some incidents from childhood in which I was sexually abused by both an adult and another child (separate incidents). It really messed me up for a while to remember but I’ve done a lot of journaling and writing to work through it a little bit and for the most part I am fine.

However, recently some more memories have started to emerge and it’s really really messing with my head. My sister is about a year and a half older than me and we used to play house a lot when we were kids. It was usually very innocent. But some fuzzy memories have made me feel extremely guilty and disgusted with myself. I was maybe 7 or 8 and going through a phase where I was heavily sexualizing things- not necessarily sexualizing myself but looking for erotic stories and images and the like- looking back now, this might’ve had to do with the things that happened to me. A few times when we played house it would get to a weird place. We never removed clothing but boundaries were definitely crossed. My memory is extremely fuzzy but to my recollection it was almost always my idea. I am now terrified and disgusted that I might have been the abuser in a COCSA situation and i can’t remember it in enough detail to make sense of it. I just feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and disgust and i want to throw up every time i think about it. our current relationship is mostly good and normal. i can’t bring this up and make things awful and weird. i have been reading up on COCSA and survivor’s stories and i don’t know what to do and i don’t know if i actually did something terrible and unforgivable.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. I'm glad to hear that journaling has been helping you process your experiences. Please know that your feelings are valid.

This situation is complex, because on one hand there is some level of responsibility and accountability to take, but it's important to remember that you were also a child and your prefrontal cortex was actively developing, which is responsible for judgment calls and decision making. So while it's appropriate to feel guilty about what happened, it's also worth understanding that you may have been too young to fully comprehend the gravity of your actions to begin with. Reaching a place where you can have some forgiveness for yourself can be a necessary first step in healing and moving forward from this experience and the feelings surrounding it.

Though your sister may not want to discuss it, you may want to consider thinking of a way you can approach discussing this with her, if you feel an apology is appropriate in this situation. Even just writing out your thoughts may provide a therapeutic catharsis for you to process your feelings.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you navigate your trauma, gain useful insights into self forgiveness, process your feelings surrounding perpetrating COCSA, and guide you along your healing journey.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[kuunibal]

hello :)

sorry to bother

My boyfriend just broke up with me and I really don't know how to overcome this. Can you give me some suggestions on what should I do in order to got better? Thanks and sorry for the vent

You aren't bothering me, don't worry. There is no need to apologise.

I am sorry you had to go through that, breakups are definitely overwhelming. I'm probably the least qualified to give advice on this matter seeing the primary subject of my blog, but I could give some general suggestions. From your phrasing it sounds like the breakup was relatively one-sided, which is especially challenging.

1. Be kind to yourself. Breakups are a form of loss, and you are mourning both the past relationship you had and the future relationship you will never have with your ex. It can be challenging both emotionally and physically. There will likely be times where you feel depressed, anxious, guilty, and angry or think that you aren't lovable or good enough. You might be frustrated at yourself for feeling that way to begin with. Try to find healthy ways to deal with and process (preferably not ignore) your emotions and thoughts. That is easier said than done, so go easy on yourself.

2. Give yourself some space and distance from your ex, especially at first. I suggest not texting and calling for a while (most people say at least a month). It is okay to miss him.

3. Accept what happened. I don't know why he broke up with you, but he did, and it will fucking hurt. The accepting the reasons why it happened and learning part can be saved for once the loss is less emotionally raw. I tend to idealise my ex, so I find that writing a list of the things I did not like about them and unmet needs in our relationship helps to look back on when I start to spiral.

If you want a more clinical resource, here is a table (I did not make it). Of course, knowing versus doing these things is very different, and I still struggle with all of these things nearly a year later.

You will get through this, and it will get better, even though it may not feel like it for a long time. It is not your fault as a person that the breakup happened. I hope some of this helped.

[ramblingroommate]

911 s1e3 Part 2 (part 1 here)

Abby has a brother! That was unexpected, she has been struggling so much to take care of her mom alone (especially before Carla) that I thought she was an only child.

Why doesn’t he help out at all? He seems nice enough and cares about their mother if he’s looking at memory care facilities for her. Does he live far away?

Also how is Abby going to take this? Not well I’m guessing

Ouch this hits home closer than I expected. My grandma can’t walk anymore and needs someone to help her take care of herself so my aunt took on the role of main caretaker.

She’s the one who takes care of her because she’s her only child within no children of her own. She does everything for her, barely gets out of the house and we always jokingly call her a saint.

So yeah, I can definitely relate

This is also very true! Sometimes the people who sacrifice the most are the ones who complain the least. Doesn’t make their sacrifice any less real.

And he doesn't help out because he has a family and children and is just too busy. Understandable but unfortunate.

Am I… supposed to feel tense? I didn’t believe for one second that he could die and I think there’s a 0.0001% chance he won’t recover.

It’s a bit weird to put such hard hitting character moments (Athena's daughter, Chimney) at the beginning of a show, when you haven’t really built a strong attachment yet

Another thing that unfortunately happens irl too. But I have to say I like recognizing real life events and cases, it makes things feel more realistic (it has happened quite a bit in these first few episodes, I wonder if it's a regular thing?).

Also I HATE when subtitles put “speaking [insert language]” instead of traNSLATING WHAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY SAYING WTF

Fortunately I speak spanish! The man said “help me, please! My son is not breathing”, “breathe, son”, “you need to breathe, Javi” and the woman said “god please, my son”.

Fortunately Javi is okay!

… really?

Are you really gonna answer your phone after you JUST did cpr on a child and are still on the job? And I just praised the show for being realistic lol

Also Abby told Buck about her mother!

The way Abby describes having a loved one with Alzheimer’s is breaking my heart, it’s very well done

Also this conversation is really interesting! I can see both of their points of view and I understand why Buck gave her the advice he did (makes sense with everything that’s happening this episode), BUT I think it was the wrong advice.

Abby is clearly taking on more than she can take but loves her mother and feels guilty sharing the burden with someone else (even if that someone is professional help). Buck doesn’t understand all this so he basically reinforces the idea that she does have to put herself second and shoulder her mother’s illness herself no matter what. He does this with no ill intent, he just doesn’t understand the situation.

Like you can see how defeated Abby is when she hears Buck’s reply. It’s what she feared she would hear. It confirms that she IS a bad daughter for feeling tired and considering putting her mother in a memory care facility (which she isn’t just to be clear). It’s the last thing she needed.

I have to say this exchange really highlights how different their life experiences are (she gave Buck awesome advice when he was in need because she understood how he felt, but he wasn’t able to do the same for her because he has never been in her shoes).

Bobby and Tatiana talking? Unexpected but really interesting

In any other circumstance the word “family” would have been appreciated but here… you can see her want to run away

Oh boy

They’re making Tatiana much more… human (?) than I expected. I thought they were gonna make her really uncaring or mean for no real reason, just because that’s what the plot needed, but she actually feels like her own character with a background and a worldview that influence her actions. She’s not being mean for meanness sake, she realizes what her absence looks like and how she’ll be judged for that but can’t bring herself to pretend anyway.

Also “either I say yes or I’m some kind of monster” is such a female experience, I feel for her.

That being said, Bobby is also right: you don’t have to be in love (or in a relationship) with someone to show compassion and care and empathy. It’s about decency.

I can really see both of their points of view which is the last thing I expected.

I'm putting this whole bit in because damn it hit hard. Having such a real and raw scene with Tatiana of all characters was really unexpected.

I still think that she should follow Bobby's advice and visit Chimney in the hospital, but I can't say that anything she said here was wrong.

WHY AM I GETTING EMOTIONAL ABOUT A CHARACTER I'VE KNOWN FOR MAYBE TWO MINUTES

This scene was just written really well okay? Acted well too.

I love how soft and non-judgemental Bobby is. Unfortunately Tatiana won't budge.

Okay the scene is over and oh boy was it a roller coaster of emotions! After watching it all I still think Tatiana should go visit Chimney at the hospital at least once. Everything she said was understandable and made sense but at the end of the day she's still Chimney's girlfriend and Chimney cares for her; if not out of love than she should be there for him as a kind human being.

NOOOOO CARLA WE LOVE YOU WE WOULD NEVER GET RID OF YOU I mean I do think a facility is the best option and that would technically mean no more Carla but I LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO STAY

Owww she's so nice and kind, recommending the facility even if that means she'd be out of a job 🥹

I thought the writers where gonna use this as an excuse to add drama but I really like the genuine approach they're taking

Mmmmh I knew Buck's comment would make her take a step back :\

I mean, the reasoning makes sense but it feels like that's the reason she used to convince herself more than anything. She clearly loves her mother and wants to spend time with her but she could have done that with the facility too.

OH SHIT

This is Athena looking for her daughter's bully, I don't even have to see her to know

There she is

Athena... please don't do anything rash... I know you're angry but PLEASE for the love of god..... YOU'RE IN UNIFORM TOO

Oh thank GOD she held herself back. I honestly expected murder

Not that those eyes promise anything good but still

(part 3 coming I have no clue when)

P.S. I haven't been able to post these comments as quickly as I would have liked (blame my job) but in the meantime I have been watching SO MANY episodes. I take notes while I watch so that I don't forget my thoughts and theories.