#which feels like a lot but also im playing the long game ok. ive been at this for 7 years now off and on

[arolesbianism]

I have been playing beastieball and first of all very good game second of all smth smth Olivia Broussard

[timothylawrence]

well folks........ weve made it to the end of the line.....

long ass review below...

wowza. okay. gonna start this by saying this'll probably be mostly a review about bridge to the turnabout...!!!!! before i get into anything juicy, i wanna start with the biggest shoutout to my partner in crime and bestie, @katagawajr... literally could not have played this game without her. hats off to the best edgeworth impersonation on the planet. <3

OKAY. TO start. I knew trouble was about when it had to do with the fey clan and channeling of spirits... i could just feel it. i was waiting for it and bam. its like the worst thing that could've happened lmao.

-ahhhhh..... when ive said it before and said it again... the love and friendship everyone has for each other!! are you kidding me!!! phoenix running across a burning bridge and addressing his worst fear ever for Maya!!! Edgeworth immediately hopping on a private chartered jett cus your man friend needs you.... man. so good. and for edgeworth to take the place of pheenie at first..... (also. sorry ill admit some cringe. i cried at the thought of not playing phoenix i was so distressed LMFAOOO i missed himmmm)

-and of course can we forget the best character in this game this franchise the star of every scene in which she presents herselfffff

-dude. the showdown we've been waiting for. the fact she quite literally flew in per miles request. their back and forth. oh my god. ohhh my godddd. oh my god. their back and forth, the way she acts all tough but would do anything miles asks of her (and DOES). easily one of my favorite moments.

-(takes long drag of my cigarette).... oh you two. oh you two. do i die or what. they care about one another so much. its literally so sickening. franziskaaaa milessss can we hug onceeee

GROUP SOBBING SESSION STARTS NOW!!!!!!

-okay skipping ahead a little because if i sit here talking about miles and fran i'll be here all day. um miles and phoenix... yeah you two are tied by the red string of gay fate... the way they constantly check in with either throughout the investigation was so cute to meee sorry.... esp with miles' little panic attack :(. awe. also phoenix wanting to hug miles AWWW

-okay wait i lied jumping back to Franziska for a second I LOVED HER FOLLOWING PHOENIX AROUNDDDD IT WAS SO CUTEEE... im glad she was as involved as she was that is my GIRL.

-ok idk what peoples thoughts on larry are but i think hes fucking funny as hell a lot of the time. love when a character is just useless but funny with it. his little loser shack with Pearl LMFAO (also... he looks like august borderlands so i might be biased- WHO SAID THAT)

-yeah. okay. this is the worst sprite in the history of sprites. genuinely so terrifying. my poor girl. my poor baby. when does she get a break?? she looks genuinely mortified. frozen in fear. quite literally a deer in headlights :( she went through SO MUCH and even her testimony was so heartbreaking. she was so scared and just. just wanted to get away from it all. the way phoenix screams into his hands when Dahlia says that Maya is actually dead. UGHHHHH

group sobbing session neow....

-okay... onto the story.... the actual case itself... im gonna be honest, i was very confused and still am about the whole channeling stuff. it feels like theirs a gap between when maya was in the cave?? and then when she was suddenly out and swapped with iris?? because dahlia wasnt there the whole time?? idk it hurts my head to think about. but i will say something.

i never saw this fucking coming.

-hoooolyyy shit. holy shit. amazed this was never spoiled for me but never ever did i even THINK Godot was responsible till the very end. till it was spelled out. and even then i wasnt fully convinced. holy shit. kudos to the writers again cus i never ever expected him. his story is so fucking heartbreaking. i feel bad for him. but damn. damn. his monologue at the end was so good. the way he goes on about how he wasnt even sure if he did this for the right reasons, that if he did, he would've told Phoenix from the start... (Damn id pay money for that reaction lol). It just... it felt so raw and real. and when he cries. man. man. just sorrow all around. the only time a lawyer can cry is at the end. while he bleeds/cries, the callback to what he told mia. just harrowing and sorrowful.

-okay. okay. the final witness being maya. my god. my god. the anguish. the pain. the way both maya and phoenix know the truth, and the way he knows she's lying and she knows he knows. its just so painful. its so fucking sad. maya knows its fruitless and she knows whats coming because the only person on the whole planet who knows her better than she knows herself is phoenix. its so similar to how in farewell my turnabout, maya was telling him to speak the truth no matter the cost, and now, phoenix was telling that to her.

speak the truth, let it be revealed. as godot and phoenix both said "Once you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." no matter how painful. damn

-the connection between maya acting okay for pearls and miles acting okay after dl-6 because someones they cared about would be in pain if they werent... oh miles and franziska... oh miles and franziska... oh i know this next game is gonna hurt....

-maya is the heart of this game, but Mia is the soul. their connection, their love, it was the beginning, the middle, and the end. it all came back to them. and i couldn't have been happier.

-all in all, this whole journey was a BLAST. i had an equal amount of laughs that i did cries, i was surprised, i was puzzled, and i was in awe. genuinely such a good fucking series no wonder it has had a fanbase that spans decades.... my fav episode was definitely farewell, my turnabout, but i enjoyed nearly every episode i played for one reason or another.

I'll miss Maya and Pheenie so much, i already do, but I know i'll have fun doing who knows what with Miles next.

[softness-and-shattering]

Started playing Hollow Knight recently. Been watching a Lets Play and enjoying it a lot, so ok Ill try it out. Im enjoying it a lot. The first few times I sat down to play, I couldnt go for too long because my skill was obviously as minimal as you can get and there wasnt much room to explore without beating bosses, getting a lamp etc.

Today I went from outside Greenpath to like 6 attempts at the first Hornet fight. I LOVE Hornet. And I kind of knew there would be/was looking out for a bench, because it was just too far from the previous bench, to go halfway through the whole area just to get back to the boss fight. Also I had like 800 geo to nervously side eye, and I was right, stag station right under Hornet room. Also I LOVE the stag. I do not love Zote, who I rescued. I liked that the big fly? boss spits out little ones so I could hide under the platform and heal. And Im getting better at the jump strike. Im just too impatient + tired after all that to beat Hornet. I keep getting the thought of, just keep hitting her she'll go down if Im fast enough, but she just has too many fast attacks and too much health, it doesnt work. But I kept panicking and just going whack whack whack oops Im dead again. I do appreciate that theres quite a lot of time to heal if you time it right. Im just so impatient today! (Im struggling w access to adhd meds. Impulse control. hard to play patiently which is tbh the least of my concerns, but idk. Theres something nice about having a struggle thats not so vital as other things im struggling to do. Yeah I keep whacking Hornet and dying but ultimately it doesnt matter, the game is so pretty, the music so beautiful, what do I have to complain about. Like the fights and stuff is tricky, but its not stressful tricky, theres a calmness to the whole thing. I am still in brackets here oop). Ive also been continuing my real-life stretches some of which have now upgraded after a few months to very basic exercises, and what do you know, im feeling better, and stronger, and Im able to move around a lot easier (not much stamina yet but still, being able to twist and move dynamically again is GREAT), and theres like, endorphins happening, like its NICE to exist in my body, not just weird and awkward and painful. Im having a good time here! Hopefully get more support work soon too! Things are looking up and its a long time coming and a LOT of hard work coming. Its still hard work but this is one of those moments you get to a rest point on the mountain and look down safely and marvel at just how far youve come. This feels like a pretty big landing. Im admiring the view. I feel safe, in my guts.

Healing is possible yall. Its really really possible. and its GOOD. Its been....5? 6? years since the worst of it, I think? Theres no correct timeline. The time will pass anyways. Its very non linear. Its like climbing a mountain (i know very little about climbing a mountain), you dont just start somewhere and walk straight ahead in a line until you get to the top. You gotta go up and down and around and backtrack and its not sliding backwards, its ALL progress no matter what direction its in. Youre still moving towards the peak when you go down a slope, when you rest, when you go back to pick up something you forgot (idk if thats a real thing in serious climbing/mountaineering). Sometimes you gotta hole up for a week because theres a snow storm. Thats still in service of your life and your goal. And gaming is part of it, for me. Partly distraction, partly as like, a signal to myself that its ok, theres energy to spare, we can learn new useless skills, and have fun, and experience art. Theres time. Theres safety. We're not running from tigers, we can stop and breathe and take it in.

[hotshotshitshow]

What do you feel like palworld does right compared to pokemon? Ive thought about playing it but im on the fence about it

ok get ready for a novel!!!

essentially, palworld just has the thing in it that made us all love pokemon ... the fun designs and the gotta catch em all loop. but like. it doesnt include all the stuff that made the pokemon series run stale a long time ago

its. definitely, absolutely, 100% an early access game. dont go into it thinking it wont be. there are janky textures and visible seams and surprise areas where youll fall through the map. but unlike with pokemon games, pocketpair has been on the ball in terms of patching the worst of the jank. for example, there are collectibles you can find around the map that are supposed to increase your chances of successful captures ... but a bug made the inverse happen, where if you got those collectibles, your capture rate success would actually plummet. pocketpair has already introduced a patch that has fixed that, as well as regularly (every other day, it feels like) rolling out more new patches to make the game better. this in itself is already amazing, bc i cant think of a lot of studios that are this attentive to patching things THIS QUICKLY and THIS REGULARLY and it clearly shows respect for their playerbase and their game... which. gamefreak has proven to not have, given the state scarlet and violet, supposedly "completed" games, was released in. that in itself makes me much, much more patient with the jank in the game. its nice to feel like im playing a game made by a studio that wants their players to have fun.

the gameplay loop also is jsut very very satisfying. its very well tied in with the survival aspects of the game. essentially. you catch more pals to upgrade your base and get access to new resources and tools, and then with these new resources and tools, you are able to start catching higher level pals with better abilities, which then you can use to further upgrade your base and access newer tools/resources, etc etc. its very fun and rewarding.

the story ... is very very very VERY sparse. i am assumign more will be added in the future but its really just a game that plops you into the world and tells you "ok, go do whatever the fuck" and for me personally, i really enjoy that. there is a tutorial, but its pretty much optional, and there are towers and alpha pals that you can fight in a way that could be considered similar to gym leaders, but its like. not at all the focus of the game like it is with pokemon. in pokemon, the aim in every single game is just "go beat the guy, and then go beat the next guy, then go beat the next guy." and in palworld, i havent even beaten any of the towers yet but im almost done completely upgrading my base and unlocking all the different mechanics and am fairly close to the level cap. you really can just. go and do whatever you want, when you want, how you want. and i love that.

edit

also! would like to mention: your experience with the game is HIGHLY customizable to your personal preferences. they let you edit a lot of different aspects of the game, down to things like whether or not you drop all your items if you die, how long night and day can last, how quickly your tools deteriorate, and a lot more. so things that would probably normally really frustrate me, arent an issue for me anymore. its only as grindy as your want it to be.

[stoic--rose]

ah! you're playing the first two ff games... tbh you inspired me to dip my toes into ff1 again (i have the pre-pixel remaster mobile port on my phone, not a bad port in the vein of mobile megaman nes luckily) and GOOD LORD does the monk class absolutely CARRY, even in the early game,,,

plus i have decided to start ff6 again, a game which i have never beaten. but this will be the run in which I do. very fun so far, terra and shadow are my favorites, sorceress woman and ninja assassin w/ a side of pet dogy :]

of the first three ff games, 2 is the most interesting to me, from what little i knew and experienced of it. the main memories i have are the intro battle where the knights beat the brakes off of you and send you home crying, as well as the final boss battle i watched on youtube. 3 wasn't really a game that hooked me in, i think i found it quite boring actually??? but it HAS been years since i played it, and iirc i was playing the fc version as opposed to psp.

the fact that any character can learn magic is awesome, it seems like the first ff game to do so, luckily that trend kept for some of the games at least (though in both examples im thinking of, ff6 and 7, you have to grind battles AND have magicite (ff6) or materia (ff7) equipped. personally it's not much of a problem for me, i like working toward learning spells, makes me feel like i earned them) though i DO also like the three spells per magic level system ff1 presented, especially with red mages since they get to use both black and white magic, but are limited in advanced spells as a tradeoff.

character personalization is neat, i like it very much, and i think ff1 did a pretty decent job at it, especially in the nes versions case. unfortunately to my knowledge ff4, ff5, ff6 and ff7 do not have much character customization, as the party members are their own characters with their own stories, though at least you CAN name them what you want, and you CAN teach them just abt any spell, but only in ff6/7, though im not entirely sure whether you could do so in ff5

if there is ONE thing i wish the final fantasy games had, it would be an autobattling system in the vein of mother 1 and 2 or shin megami tensei, ff1 and ff6 at least are a slog to get through sometimes when it comes to battles :/

plus a lot of the enemies in ff1 don't grab me like the mother series enemies tend to do, or even smt enemies (decarabia my gay little star ily sm), though ff6 has some enemy designs that appeal to me like the magitek armored soldiers and kefka

okay im gonna stop with the thousand-year yapping in your ask box, but before i do, a question: do you have any plans of playing any other ff games after this, or will it stop at 2 or maybe 3?

also i hope the length isnt bothering you, my apologies if it is, i just had a *LOT* on my mind to say since rn i have ff brain and drank the yap water lol

ok imma stop now, stay good out there miss fish :P

HI I LIKE READING PEOPLES RAMBLES IN MY INBOX so uuuh. i do plan on playing more ff games after this!! as of right now i have final fantasies 1-6 on my psp (ff1-4 in remake form, and ff5/6 in the form of their ps1 remakes) and i wanna play all of em at some point. im especially excited for 6, ive heard that one is REALLY good, but ofc thats a long ways from now lol.

speaking on ff3, i know the psp version is the 3d remake, akin to what they did for ff4 on DS, and idk if i wanna play that version personally. i honestly might go for the famicom or pixel remaster versions, bc ive heard the 3d remake is very different in terms of tone. i was told by my friend carey that the original was intended to give off the vibe of a bunch of annoying kids playing DnD, which sounds extremely funny and i want to play that.

thank you for taking interest in my ff posting!!!! also, what does the old mobile phone version of ff1 look like?? is it the psp version?

[cyberdragoninfinity]

Could I mayhaps ask for your thoughts on each of the Box Legendary Pokemon?

*cracks knuckles* SURE! let's do this

Gold and Silver: I actually don't feel suuuuper too strongly about Ho-oh and Lugia, tbh--though i will say they both have more solid designs than. A Lot of other johto Pokemon imo LMAO. I liked Lugia a lot when I was a kid and that affection has waned a bit as I got older but I do still think it's cool. They both have pretty solid lore as far as Legendaries go, I'm just not particularly attached to 'em...something like a Legends Johto game really has the potential to do something cool with 'em (I feel like with Ho-oh especially) and I do kinda hope we eventually get to see that.

Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald: MY HOMEEEEE Hoenn box Legendary trio sooo near and dear to me...Ruby was my first game Groudon was my first Legendary but I think he's kind of just ok. I like Kyogre a lot more and I Love Rayquaza, definitely a long time favorite Legendary...they're really just a solid trio of Pokemon with some really cool designs and concepts at play, and I like the new lore and forms ORAS gave 'em. Kyogre's Pokemon Pinball boss fight kicks ass to this day and im not kidding.

Diamond, Pearl, Platinum: MY DEAR LATE MIDDLE SCHOOL/EARLY HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS I thinkkkk as a trio I think I might like Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina the best...Legendaries I never tire of seeing. Palkia is one of my all time favs, gazing so lovingly at my giant Palkia plush ive had for some 15 odd years...Giratina is too, honestly, Giratina fucking Rules (though I actually don't like its Origin form very much and never had...I'm an Altered Form Giratina girlie.) They're just all super solid designs and for Dialga and Palkia especially they really feel like perfect embodiments of The Game Theyre the Cover Of. Also I love Origin Form Dialga and Palkia sorry. Theyre my precious ugly as fuck horses.

Black, White, BW2: WELL. THESE MIGHT TRULY BE THE BEST ONES. Zekrom/Reshiram/Kyurem are not my favorite Trio, but together just everything they represent is so cool. One day we WILL see that Original Dragon so HELP ME GOD. I'm more impartial to Zekrom (i played Black and White 2) but it still has such a striking design, I have to say. Reshiram is an especially beautiful Pokemon and definitely one of my favorites. I have. So Many Reshiram cards and plushes HJFDJGDF And well some people don't like Black and White Kyurem for whatever reason, but well i simply have to say they have been making me crazy since high school and the concept of Pokemon Fusion Really in The Game will never not be fucking bonkers slash POS. i LOVE White Kyurem (go figure.) THATS MY FUCKIN FREEEAK

X & Y: i don't. like X & Y very much 🥴 I wish I liked Xerneas more but something about its design is just kind of lacking some 'oomph' ro me. It doesn't feel like a strong poster child for the Fairy type's debut. Despite everything Yveltal does go hard as fucking hell though I still like it a lot. I named the one I caught in Y HELLRAISER back in college and I was shocked they let me name it that.

Sun, Moon, Ultra Sun/Moon: ok nevermind scratch what I said about DPP Sun and Moon have my favorite Legendary Trio for absolute certain. GOD I WISH SUMO/USUM WERE BETTER GAMES!!!!! SOLGALEO LUNALA AND NECROZMA ARE ALL SO FUCKING COOOOL!!!!! DUSK MANE NECROZMA AND DAWN WINGS NECROZMA ARE SO FUCKING COOOL!!!!!!!!! NECROZMA FUCKING EATS THEM FOR POWER. Just in general fantastic designs all around, and it's so cool that Solgaleo and Lunala are Legendaries That Evolve.also i played Moon/UM but I have grown deeply fond of Solgaleo over the last year or so. As if it's my fault he looks like...no, I shant say.

Sword and Shield: I don't like SWSH very much either 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴which is a shame because Zacien and Zamazenta have really cool concepts and designs!! I love their old tattered beat up forms, I love that theyre siblings 🥺I love that the one that isnt Your box legendary goes with Hop, that's so so sweet and so so cool. I just wish SWSH had more of a..........yknow. story. to do anything else of any substance with them. Cool Legendaries in bad games...sad!

Scarlet and Violet: WELL. THESE MAY ALSO BE THE BEST ONES AND I'LL SAY IT WITH MY WHOLE CHEST. god, just. WOW. I like them both a lot but I'm especially fond of Miraidon, to absolute bits. This really feels like the most realized version of a box art Legendary that really truly is a Character in its own right, you get to spend that whole game with your dragon, it well and truly Is Your Friend and it's just fantastic. Theyre endlessly charming and silly and conceptually just so fucking cool. They killed someone. My motorcycle that eats sandwiches. My BUDDY!!! I named my Miraidon Delta Accel :^)

[grinnersmiler]

holding out my hand to you i too was a sky artist for a time until the game wore me out

it sucks because i really love the core gameplay loop a lot and then it became farming and cosmetics and micro transactions n shit

i wrote a whole custom ttrpg for the game that ill never really be able to publish because the mechanics are so intertwined with the game and i cant really legally sell fan products (i even went so far as to email their legal team)

i designed a whole character sheet and it was gorgeous and one of my favorite pieces ive wver done and she will never see the light of day…

sorry this is random just wanted to commiserate for a bit. followed u for sky but stuck around cause ur cool

uh yeah thabks bye

this has been in my drafts for more than a week already ( my own fault ive been really thinking of a response to this bc anything skycotl has been a tense subject to talk about ) but i am SO glad to hear you felt a similar way about it and sad that youve come to that point. Ive become increasingly disillusioned for the game as time passes but looking back on it depresses me. Especially since its one of THE games that have carried me here to where i am today and one that i used to hold very close to my heart along with journey and several of thatgamecompany games. Its a shame! The longer time goes, the more apparent how demoralised the company becomes to the core ideas that made the game special wither away into the very chasm of videogame greed they sought to repel from the start.

To be fair. I haven't played for a very long time and its going to be kept that way, so maybe my claims on here arent as true as they used to be back in its hayday. Because for some reason i still think this game can pull itself up and reclaim what it had lost long long ago but from what ive heard recently it hasn't been that way and unfortunately the influx of players coming out to complain about tgc gives me that impression.

And like i understand what that feels to have made something you were impassioned to do as a testament of love for the game only to come out with disdain. I can't divorce it from the media it came from because of how inextricable all the designs and concepts were to the world of sky that it'd be almost next to nothing if it were detached from it! Unless i just copy the entire lore ground up which in that case would just be plagiarism and something I just wouldn't like doing. Not all is lost though imo im on the belief that every thing you make you will learn from for future projects so if its not sky, the things you learned from creating it can be used to aid in the creation of your next thing!

So 🤝 shaking your hand anyways. What mightve happened to me when i was 16 might not be something that happened to you but i feel the frustration, hopefully you're on bigger ventures now from sky. It's done me alot of good and alot of bad and honestly glad to have experienced the good while it lasted.

Also sfgsg I've heard about the dreamweaving event where fans could submit fan designs for the team to choose from that quickly turned really sour when some of the contributions were stolen fanart and its like, lol. Ok. I have no idea how none of the devs thought that wasn't gonna happen but it's like i could really care less about their decisions at this point. SFSHSF

[infizero]

pokespe reread: red, green & blue chapter - closing thoughts! 🔴🟢🔵

im gonna do these for each chapter before i move onto the next one :D which means its time for RGB closing thoughts before i head onto yellow! i dont have as much to say as i did about ruby & sapphire, but that's just cuz there isn't any poorly handled parental abuse or gender nonconformity i feel the need to ramble about for 5 billion years LOL

anyways, thoughts under the cut!

(before i say anything, reminder that i call the boy green and the girl blue 👍)

ok first off, i wanna talk about just how cool the way team rocket is portrayed here. like i sort of take it for granted since ive been into pokespe for so long, but the thing of a lot of the gym leaders being a part of team rocket is SOOOOO cool.

not only does that by itself raise the stakes a lot compared to other depictions, but also these guys are RUTHLESS. like they have no qualms about straight up killing these kids and that makes every scene they're involved in so much more intense. like the scene where red and green are fighting against koga and he keeps forcing them to back down by threatening to literally DECAPITATE the other? that shit was genuinely so tense, it was really well done.

outside of the involvement of the gym leaders, they also do a really good job at making everything feel interconnected. like almost every conflict that isnt interpersonal can be traced back to team rocket, and even stuff that seems trivial at first, like collecting the gym badges, ends up having a greater significance. i did not remember that giovanni left red and green alone so they could collect the gym badges for them, that actually shocked me. really well done

moving onto specific characters, i just wanna talk about how much i love red rq bcuz i have an even deeper appreciation for him after this reread 😭 like he's just so pure hearted and cares about pokemon so much, and i really love how THAT'S what makes him strong.

like obviously that's a classic pokemon narrative at this point, but this was back in the days of the first game! yknow the one where trainers had whips and the bonds with your pokemon WASNT heavily emphasized? i just think it's cool that alongside his skills as a trainer, red's main heroic trait is his EMPATHY above all else. not trying to give too much credit here but i do think that's really cool, having the main male protagonist's strength come from his empathy and love.

and the way that that influences OTHERS to become better is something that i really love too. blaine talking about how seeing red's love for pokemon is what made him leave team rocket actually almost made me tear up :') and of course green also learns to treat his pokemon better because of red, which is something that i really really love (more on that in a second)

i also just wanna note how much i love red and poli :D the reoccurring thing with red being saved from drowning by it was really really sweet

moving onto green, i was surprised at how much... less of an asshole he was than i remembered? like dont get me wrong, he's definitely got a few moments where he's nasty to red for no reason in the beginning. but overall he's really moreso just Prickly, rather than being outwardly antagonistic. most of the time he's just brushing red off and underestimating him, rather than straight-up insulting him

this also plays into the fact that i realized upon this reread green very much reads as autistic to me. he's silent a lot of the time, focused on stats over feelings, and doesnt even attempt to mask when he doesnt like someone or something. he's very upfront with how he feels which comes across as cold/mean (and im not saying that's NOT what it is, but a lot of the time i think he's just reacting honestly without necessarily meaning to be rude. tho since he doesnt rlly like red and thats who he's usually interacting with, most of the time it IS probably meant to be rude lol)

also there's instances of him not rlly getting social cues/sarcasm. like literally this moment i put above, red goes "back to your old obnoxious self i see!" but green doesnt seem to even register that as a jab and just goes "that's right" like bro hes making fun of you 😭

but anyways yes, green was not as actively mean as i remembered him being, and him and red actually start to get along far quicker than i recalled as well! i thought that their enemies/rivals to friends dynamic was very well done, and i think this is best shown in the championship match, which was for sure one of my favorite moments of the whole arc

^ LIKE. OH MY GOD. the way that red and green have both learned from each other and grown bcuz of it by the end of the story. the way they've grown to respect each other and know each other so well. "they've incorporated the best traits of the other into themselves... and they know each other like the back of their own hands!" simon infizero found dead on the floor

i also liked how much the two smiled during the match :) they're having fun! they enjoy battling against each other!! i already talked about this in a separate post but this is a VERY different championship match than the one that occurs between these two in gameverse. and that's ok! even if i find gameverse's version more compelling, both are good and serve different purposes.

gameverse green's character development is jumpstarted BY losing the championship, while here pokespe green has ALREADY undergone character development and this match is used as a vessel for showing that development off. and i really really like it :D

now uh. for something about this climax that i DIDNT like

bro what the fuck was this 😭 professor oak intentionally triggering blue and airing out her trauma in front of thousands in order to "get back" at her for stealing squirtle was really fucking weird and strangely cruel. like listen man ive experienced many different interpretations of oak over the years some good, some very bad, most of them complicated, but even at his worst he would not fucking do this 😭 at least not in my opinion

i really wish that him confronting blue for stealing her starter and giving her the pokedex was under better circumstances..... like imo if they wanted to do this scene with all that and blue talking about her past, they could've easily just. had oak directly confront her about it. if we need to get blue broken down enough to talk about it, then have him start beating her in the battle really badly until she gets mad about it!

or hell, if that wouldnt be enough, have him confront her, she wont open up, so THEN he pulls out the spearow as sort of a last resort. she gets scared and rather than being all weirdly smug like "haha stupid traumatized girl i knew it was you" (ew) have him be GENTLE. have him be like "i know what you've been through blue. i was part of the team that tried to search for you etc etc. all i want is to know why you stole my squirtle" and then she breaks down and goes on her whole spiel.

that would be sooooo much better than what actually happened, and it would make the scene where he finally gives her her own pokedex and she breaks down into tears thanking him feel SO much more earned and actually impactful, rather than just feeling weird. this moment just felt so weirdly cruel and out of character for oak for no reason. and it sucks bcuz i DO like blue's breakdown about how she's from pallet too and wanted to go on her own journey, but the way we get there is just so weird that i cant fully appreciate it.

ok lastly just quick thing, i love how mewtwo is portrayed here :') it's how it should be portrayed!! it's not evil, it's just been through a lot and has a very understandable hatred for humans due to that. i love how red didnt even hesitate in immediately being empathetic to mewtwo and encouraging blaine to show mewtwo kindness and help it have a better life. made me very happy I LOVE YOU MEWTWO

and that's about it!! overall, i really love this first arc. it's definitely a little wacky when it comes to certain worldbuilding stuff, but that's to be expected from something made in the franchise's infancy. u could just do whatever u wanted back then man. and it doesnt even bother me cuz i mean. stuff like the legendary birds fusing into one pokemon is objectively cool as fuck

this arc is really well written when it comes to the overarching threat of team rocket, the characters and their development, everything! truly a delightful read :]

now, it's time for the kantet to finally be completed as i move onto the yellow chapter!!!! ^_^

[neolxzr]

Hi Quin! 4 or 5 for the ask game?

HIHI LOKI!! of course!!

4. what got you into enstars? -- ive been sort of aware of enstars ever since i was into love live back in like 2018-19 but i dont think i wouldve gotten into it if it werent for engstars!! it really made the series more accessible lol i wasnt really willing to try really hard looking for translations until i was at least a little bit interested in what the series had to offer. i played the game at launch casually for a while and then i watched the anime and then i read meteor impact and some other mostly ! era stories and i was long gone by then

5. what's your favorite headcanon about the character you produce? -- i have a bunch of headcanons abt aira but im most fond of my hc's about his relationship with rinne!! i hope the writers will explore their dynamic a little bit more in the future because i think they're funny. theyre just a guy and his little brother's girlfriend boyfriend you know?? heres some of my hcs abt them owo sorry if this is long

rinne has asked hiyori on a couple of occasions to get him exclusive eden merch and specifically merch of himself so he can give it to aira. he doesnt realize that eichi and rei both regularly try to outdo eachother in the 'giving aira idol merch' competition but he is beating both of them on accident

whenever hiiro or kohaku are in anything that arent their normal units (like puffy bunny/la mort) aira and rinne form a sort of truce so they can go support them together. hiiro thinks its very sweet and kohaku is very very embarrassed

aira was a fan of rinne back in his solo idol days and he owns a couple of merch things of him and he is trying to take that secret to his grave

(also addon to the last one if we are assuming transboy aira which i usually am. he went to a handshake event once to meet rinne but rinne doesnt recognize him bc he was still a girl when they met awawwaw)

rinniki and hiiai and also hinata all play games in the sweets dorm together sometimes :o aira is scared of his roommates and rinne can rarely ever get in the bathroom in his own dorm (hiyori is doing skincare or whatever and kanata is. in the bath) so they both end up in there a lot. amagi family bonding. sometimes yuta or tetsu join too. its very crowded

aira calls him rinne-niisan on accident once and never lives it down

sometimes aira asks rinne for advice or just to listen to him when he's feeling really shitty and rinne is a good listener and big brother did you know. read my fic

OK THATS ALL sorry <- lying

[oncominggstorm]

Im autistic & adhd. Also have undiagnosed physical health issues which been acting up lately. Really not doing well, need help. Currently in shutdown, include verbal shutdown. And struggling type, forgive grammar plz. Need help & support, but is none. Don’t know what do. Everything feel impossible. Long vent under cut.

Want run away, somewhere no one can find. Somewhere quiet & alone, with internet & tv so can watch comfort shows, play comfort games, etc. But will turn off phone, or get new number, or just block all family except younger sister on everything, or something, idk. Want comfy bed & comfy chairs & good temperature control & good food, and just quiet & solitude. Preferably somewhere out in nature. Let everyone figure out their own shit without me. Can’t do this anymore. ONLY things keeping me from doing are younger sister & lack of money. Mom & twin sister need figure shit out on own, can’t handle anymore. Can’t do.

Dont have a job or any money at all, literally only have $5 (and well over $20k in credit card debt, in collections). Am in autistic burnout & have been for nearly 3 years now. Had quit job in May cuz burnout so bad. But still expected take care of entire family.

Live with dad & twin sister (will call twin). Dad extremely NT & able bodied, dont understand me/twin at all. Knows nothing about autism/adhd & unwilling to learn. Pays bills & does chores so that is helpful, but not willing do any other support. Doesn’t believe in mental health.

Mom & younger sister (will call younger) live with grandma. Younger is 12 yrs younger, i basically raised. Feel almost more like parent than sister. Also is best friend & person i care most about in world, would die for her. Hate seeing her suffer. Twin & younger both also autistic & adhd, and neither have job. Grandma has moderate (bordering on advanced) dementia & need 24/7 supervision & support. Younger currently has busted knee, on crutches & really struggling & lot of pain. Mom refusing to believe is as bad as is, thinks younger is exaggerating, barely helping her. Ive been having drive over nearly daily to help. Mom had multiple strokes 2 years ago, still has both cognitive & physical challenges as result, & just lost job. Mom almost deffo undiagnosed autistic/adhd but refuses to believe. Doesnt believe younger is either (she still undiagnosed, me & twin formal diagnosed recently). Mom never great person, but got much worse after strokes, is mean & bordering on verbally abusive to us (and is DEFFO verbal abusive to grandma). Also has horrible memory & cognitive issues, doesnt understand things correctly, half of what she says doesn’t make sense, makes helping her hard.

Twin sick rn, lots of stomach issue & pain. Found out few months ago has enlarged spleen, but no answer yet, cant see specialist til Dec. Twin also has medical anxiety, so hard to know for sure what is real & what isnt. Every day twin ask me for MULTIPLE favors; get things for her, do things for her, etc. Also get MULTIPLE txts every day complaining about not feeling well, yet she refuse go doctors. Counted once a few days ago: in 11 hour period, asked for 7 favors & texted 13 times about pain.

Even when not sick tho, twin basically never help. Feels like she think I “less disabled” than her, not true. I doing horribly and still have take care everyone else while she sits on couch play video games & ask me to bring her things. No one ever bring ME things. Twin NEVER return favor no matter how bad I do/how well she do. One sided only.

Today twin ask for SO MANY THINGS, CONSTANTLY. Doesnt seem to care that I not doing well either & just CANNOT handle, keeps asking anyway. I tell her how bad am doing & immediately she ask for more favors. Won’t shut up about how sick she is (feeling very “wrong” w/stomach issues, has enlarged spleen but don’t know why yet & is worried that is cause), and says she is NOT OK, and that something is VERY wrong & she is worried she is dying, but also won’t get her ass to ER. Also expect /ME/ take her AND go in with, if decides go. Told her has to ask mom or dad first. Now just won’t go, and instead just keep complain to me about how bad doing & keep asking for help with stuff.

On top of that, am constant worried about all shit mom needs to do: get grandma house in her name so can keep (rn bank gets when grandma dies due to 2nd mortgage or something idk, which will make mom & younger homeless), get grandma car in her name (mom hasnt had own car in like 6+ yrs, just uses gma’s), figure out her unemployment (applied but no check yet cuz needs submit weekly proof of job applications & doesnt know how), get guardianship for grandma (mom never even got power of attorney, and is too late now cuz grandma cant understand to sign, so rn we just stuck cuz grandma not capable make decisions, but legally we cant make for her either), update her resume, get help for grandma, etc. Most of it fall to me. Mom kind of person who just WILL NOT do things, no matter how much help u give (ex: was trying get her accommodations for her job after strokes so wouldnt lose job. Explained process multiple times, both verbally & in writing. Figured out who she needed contact for help & wrote out email for her, ALL she had do was copy & paste & send email. Didnt do it. Now fired cuz couldnt keep up w/out accommodations). Mom also no longer even ask for help, just tells us we are doing. Ex: said to me “I’m going to come over tomorrow so you can help me do my job searches for unemployment.” Just tells me I’m doing it, not even ask. Sick of it. Grandma have dementia, at point where cannot even shower or wash hands, we have no support at all, doing everything ourselves. ADRC says only way to get grandma help is to put lien on her house & sell to pay off when she dies, but mom & younger live with grandma so that would make them homeless once she dies. Says we can’t even get occasional respite care unless give up house, let alone regular in home care.

Just can’t handle anymore. Feel like am being broke into thousand pieces, or crushed by thousand lb weights. Feel stuck. Feel like no choices, no good options, no way out. Want run away. Want take younger & her cat & find cabin in woods somewhere & just go run away from everything/everyone else. But can’t, no money. Feel so stuck. No help. No support. Don’t know what do.

[patchdotexe]

what happens in the sonc ass bazooka games. i have never played crash bandicoot. i have two cash banooca cartridges (one for either gba/ds and one for switch) but i have only touched the switch version for five seconds. what happens in the sonic's ass games

absolutely thrilled at the first sentence of this ask. crash does get a bazooka btw i dont remember if ive said that yet

UM OK SO in the first game crash is an experiment by dr cortex to try and make an army of super-furries but the brainwashing fails on him so crash bails and then realizes "oh no i left my girlfriend :(" so he goes All The Way Back to fight cortex and rescue tawna (who then didnt appear in any other games for a very long time)

gameplay-wise, you go through a bunch of levels with different themes (jungle, water, spooky bridge, spooky castle, ancient ruins, toxic waste factory, etc) and break boxes as you go to get gems that unlock optional side paths and a 100% ending. crash can only take 1 hit before he dies but he can collect masks to give himself an extra hit or two and if he gets 3 masks then he becomes invincible for a bit. it sometimes gets described as a sidescroller but Forwards? bc the level design is very straightforward and corridor-ish, but i never found it feeling too restrictive or anything

in the second game cortex is like HEY. CRASH. I KNOW YOU HATE ME BUT UHHHMMMM GET ME 25 CRYSTALS OR THE EARTH IS GONNA BLOW UP :( NOT BC OF ME THO IM GONNA FIX IT I SWEAR and crash goes 👍 and then finds out that actually cortex is lying out his ass and needs the crystals to power his orbital space laser. and then crash blows it up

this is also the game that introduces warp rooms as the level hubs!! bc crash 1 had a Map you'd traverse (which crash 4: it's about time brought back) but a lot of crash games starting with 2 have rooms with portals you go through and i like the crash 2 warp room a Lot because each level entrance is subtly styled based off of what type of level it is! like uhh the ruin levels have an entrance that looks kinda like the statues in it, and each floor of the warp room has a different visual aesthetic that matches the different level themes (snowy, sewer, space, space 2 this time with a jetpack, stream, statue ruins, s... sforest. Man)

the third game is the one i Actually Owned As A Kid and its got TIME TRAVEL !! WAOW cortex and his buddies are messing around in different time periods trying to get the crystals Again so crash and his sister coco have to try and get them first! i like cbc3 a lot, its really fun, also it's the one where crash gets a bazooka. and a motorcycle. and a plane. coco steals a tiger

(it also introduces my FAVORITE VILLAIN GUY, dingodile!! i was very bad at his bossfight as a kid)

HOWEVER the one that ive been mentioning me playing on here is the switch remake of Crash Team Racing, which is. not like any of those. because those are all collect-a-thon platformers. CTR is a kart racing game. with the plot being... what did i tell sion hold on

(i also owned the original as a kid and i was obsessed with it about as much as i was obsessed with crash 3. i was also very terrible at it so its very fun having the remake as an adult and having the nostalgia plus "oh im way better at this now")

uhhh after that it's like. crash gets an evil brother named crunch that barely gets to do anything after he becomes a good guy (he cameos in twinsanity and like. talks in titans ig? he doesn't really contribute to the plot. and gets possessed in mind over mutant.), cortex accidentally pisses off some birds from another dimension that are trying to take over the multiverse so he has to work with crash For Real This Time, cortex makes a bunch of really powerful mutant furries and builds a giant robot to do .. something..? and kidnaps coco and then gets upstaged by his evil-er niece nina (and everybody got redesigns that are very polarizing. im still mad that tiny got changed from a tasmanian tiger / thylacine to a normal tiger), cortex manages to mind control everybody but crash with vr headsets (i guess?? i didnt play those last two) so crash beats him up and the cutscenes have a lot of different art styles which is kinda cool, and then the current developers (bc crash keeps getting tennised around between developers) decided to roll all of that back and made a new timeline branching off of crash 3 where cortex and his time travel buddy n. tropy break time and space and crash needs to collect the quantum masks with power over time and space to fix it (and also tawna is back! except its an alt dimension version of her and shes super cool)

[crash 1 finishing a level voice] WHEW

[weretaur]

!!!INTRO!!!

tumblr lets u pin posts which means i get to be insufferable and talk about myself too much

ACCOUNT WARNINGS!!

my account is SFW, but includes artistic nudity, and possibly violence, blood, and light gore (?) a lot of my stories also involve darker topics as well.

i also post bright colors!! possibly flashing lights in the future

my name is mars!! you can call me weretaur if you want, i dont have a preference :3 i use he/him and identify as a transman, i turned 18 in november and i’m going up to UBC (vancouver) for college next year!! gonna be studying english, specifically liturature (though i definitely wanna go into linguistics a little as well!!) i grew up in and currently live in the PNW

i draw MOSTLY furries, i wanna draw people more but im so bad at it loll, ive been drawing seriously since like 2019ish? i also like listening to music, writing/imagining stories and characters, bouldering, and learning languages! im also a big fan of fashion, especially scene, gyaru, mcbling, and goth styles.

————————

BOUNDARIES

friends! - i love making friends!! feel free to hmu, but if youre just after free art or something trust me i can tell lmao. i would love to make actual friends and it is very frustrating when people just try to get an in for free art of their ocs. also, most of my art is fine for ages 15+, but please dont try to be friends if you arent 17+, i want to talk to people closer to my age (also if youre over 21 i would prefer not to interact a ton!) i dont mind comments or small interactions from people outside my age group, but i prefer not to be friends!

inspiration - you can absolutely get inspired by my art! feel free to use poses or style aspects or whatever :) the only thing im iffy on is inspiration from my ocs, because i love them and i dont want a ton of copies of em running around. if youre inspired by one of them let me know, and i will let you know if what you wanna do makes me uncomfortable or not!! im usually pretty flexible as long as its not a super clear copy!

AI - i HATEEE HATE HATE AI!! in ALL capacities, in and outside of artistic spaces. never ever ever feed my art to AI, it is my personal copyright.

reposts - reblogs and everything are fine, but please do nott repost my art without asking first, and add credit if you do repost. commissions and art trades can absolutely be reposted without asking, but again, please credit me. claiming my art or ocs as yours in any capacity is illegal, and i will treat it that way loser! nfts are also very very unwelcome

and a sinister fifth thing - if you support trump or any of his values, dont give a shit about human rights issues, or in any way feel normal and ok about the gen0cide in G4za i want you the fuck away from me yikesss

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music i like - pierce the veil, talking heads, MSI (unfortunately), lapfox/halley labs (also unfortunate), femtanyl, falco, KMFDM, rammstein, flyleaf, linkin park, machine girl, oingo boingo, london after midnight, my chemical romance (esp tcfsr), sleeping with sirens, mitski, ayesha erotica, mother mother, radiohead

shows i like - twin peaks, my little pony, arcane, beastars, gravity falls, breaking bad, better call saul

movies i like - into/across the spiderverse, fire walk with me, life of pi (book is better tho), thor ragnarok

games i like - dragon age (only played veilguard so far), mouthwashing, mario kart, animal crossing, minecraft (especially older minecraft </3 i miss it), roblox (also nostalgic), phasmophobia, fnaf

books i like - wings of fire, somee of warriors (i havent finished it lol), life of pi!!!, white noise

im also on instagram anf toyhouse under the same user (weretaur), and am usuallyyy more active on there.

yapfest over

and here is some of my art (my style is very inconsistent ik </3 i like to experiment lol)

[mariverses]

Oh !!!! speakinf ofwhich i would love 2know … ure fav media in general… fav movies or comfort movies or shows or books … leemme hear about eeeem 🤟🤟🤟🤟

OK LEMME JUST PREFACE BY SAYING i dunno what exactly constitutes a "comfort" thing for people. i don't exactly feel comfort while doing anything exactly unless that's it's exact intention; for most things i just like them LMAOO so im just going to give you my favorite things

my interests consist of mostly horror and folk not gonna lie......

UMMMM FOR MOVIESSS... my favorite since it came out is loving vincent. and probably will always be. i was SO EXCITED when it ran on tv and i was just so.. bewitched. each frame was lovingly painted by hand and it includes various paintings by van gogh. :) what you're seeing is entirely made with oil paint, using van goghs techniques, and it's just the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. other movies i love are: rusalochka (1968), bram stokers dracula (1992) & pulp fiction! and again anything with winona ryder I ADOOOOOOORE HER and if it has her in it i will probably give it a chance. except stranger things. nope. i'm sorry i seriously can't

my favorite books is honestly between the original frankenstein and the murders in the rue morgue. and i also started reading bram stokers dracula and i have to say i dont like the flow of the book As Much as i like the movie. i also enjoy anything by edgar allan poe a normal amount and i take a lot of inspo from his poems. i also super super gravitate to folk ballads/stories from which i also take inspiration for my art :) annnnnd i also like reading manga sometimes still and what i remember loving was innocent rouge, the red fog; and i also started goodnight punpun! which has been an experience so far

either way what i do for the most part these days is ummmm actually play video games and ive just been playing roblox day in day out for months now so there's that. big fan of phighting & regretevator (side-dish of pressure) and like thats the. only things ive been drawing as well because im insane. and i also play arknights still that's been my lifeblood for like a good 2 years now and i still play daily. other than that i LOVE visual novels and interactive stories in general and if you're looking for recommendations ANYTHING BY HARRIS POWELL-SMITH. FANTASIC. i think they only make their games text-based but i promise you so hard dont let that deter you and you will have a delicious experience. a date with death is GREAT, still waiting on touchstarved, and i also liked the obscura demo but full game is locked away in my country bleghjjjghhhh. AAAAAAAAAAND MY FAVORITES FOR LAST. anything by endysis. i will literally eat anything they do. i played it paints me, snow white ashes the demo, and im looking to play the last winter knight the demo as well AND OHHHHHGH MY GOD BY A LARGE MARGIN. MY FABORITE THINGS. EVER. ESPECIALLY SNOW WHITE ASHES. GOD. GOD. THE DEMO IS FREE. IF YOU DO ANYTHING TODAY AND YOU LOVE GOTHIC/DARK ROMANCE PLEASE PLAY SNOW WHITE ASHES. (and also this is ACTUAL dark romance not the slop that tiktok tells you it is) i was actually shaking like a lamb in my seat afterwards

oh my god this is long but like. thats it. i havent talked so much on tumblr in a good 2 years. also i love checking in and seeing your asks, they make my day ♡

[ritualcaster]

Ok so its 2 am and ive been thinking (recipe for disaster, i know) should I message the friend that kicked me from the group chat and blocked me?

('Read more' seperator in case you don't want to read about sappy stuff or give advice)

(Im going to spout a lot, classified as a vent post but i really want advice)

I'm thinking through it to figure it out and its not working so im gonna lay out the facts

(With complimentary + or - for decision)

We've been best friends for 2 years, friends for 5, and known each other for 7, and known of each other for 14.

Around 9/17 she began texing drier and responding less, the change is slow.

On 9/19 I said "Im ngl its 4 am and im scrolling throigh our messages trying to figure out if its just anxiety or we're getting more distant" she responded with "NOOOOOO!! DONT REREAD PAST MESSAGES PAST 8 PM!! YOUR LIFE IS IN GRAVE DANGEERR!!" Which is actually a direct copy paste of a message i sent to her about a similar situation.

On 9/20 we had 3 seperate long winded text conversations, and a 30 minute call, we have not called each other since.

On 9/21 she responded "with probably not today, sorry" after i asked if she wanted to get on and do anything, she then proceeded to message me about a million times over the following 4 hours, these conversations included a message i sent asking "Why dont you respond to my tiktoks. Do you hate me." (As a joke (i can see how it did NOT come off that way), however she had actually stopped responding to the videos i sent her about 3 days before. I sent many with no responses within those 3 days)

On 9/23 I messaged one with a photo asking to do a trio pfp (i did a few trio pfps with her and her boyfriend, then i started editing myself into two of their duo pfps as a running gag. Definitely stepped a line there it seems.) She didn't respond, so I stopped messaging her and sending tiktoks to give her a bit of space.

On 9/24 I sent a few messages, "I sent you so many videos in a row" she responded "ill watch them eventually" I responded "Just block me so my sufferijg can be ended" (as a joke, i felt our friendship was much more unshakeable than it was. I passed off most of these signs as anxiety.) I sent a few messages about games we both played recently, and the last message i sent was at 6:25.

An hour after this, She blocked me on everthing, and kicked me from the gc.

Ok so thats bassically everything that happened over the 5 days up until she blocked me, its a little crazy that im searching through it like this but for a 4 year long friendship it feels warranted

In general the day up until she blocked me i tried to probe about what was wrong in a comedic way, with deadpan affirming responses, or no response at all.

Even after running through it all, it still seems super mixed.

Only reason im debating messaging her at all is because

1. We were talking just an hour before, dryly, but definitely

2. I said "Just block me so my sufferijg can be ended" 2 hours before.

Both of those make this seem a little if not very impulsive, also, this feels like a boundaries issue, which can definitely be solved with proper communication and an open mind.

I also feel like i want to at least get to 'awkward..' terms with her, that way i can rejoin the gc with minimal violence/hard feelings

I can still message her on steam, which she didn't unfriend or block me on, even after I messaged her there. I've also been playing on steam over the 8 days since the blockening, so shes seen me get on (it gives a notif to all your active friends when you play a game) and still hasn't blocked me.

The message on steam was "I can take a hint, ill stop messaging you, but I'm still here, I'm still just a call away"

VERY cringe, but i was emotional. bite me.

So it might be weird to message her now and go back on that, especially if its on the same platform.... ugh....

[blookmallow]

ok here we go heres all my fuckign endgame stuff for ruby's main plotline. ive been hoarding screenshots forever i dont even know how long ago this was now

bro holy fuck

i M LOSING MY MIND!!! LOOK AT THIS

i am so fuckening confused

ruby and. her son, i guess,

im putting this post together way way way after the fact so i don't fully remember how i felt when i discovered this but like. i don't. know what to do with this. it isn't that much of a shock that he's become Old since. up until this point its extremely unclear how much time actually passed between freezings (except that it was 200 years from the initial freeze to the escape). so the thought that maybe he was alive somewhere but really old had occurred to me. but how do you even begin to try to have a relationship now. are we even family anymore, really.

skeletons!! i like them

im not sure what the hell Happened with super mutants. i guess they were intended to be. well, super human, but why did the institute just. release them everywhere. i forget if there was stated information about this but like when you encounter hostile synths they're Doing Something for the institute, super mutants are just. being super mutants and killing everything

found a weird floating spark that was just kinda stuck here. no idea why

anyway so. i tried really hard to play this civilly. the institute has done great evil but there's also just. families in here. there's scientists genuinely trying to make worthwhile advances. the big problem with the institute is the lack of regard for anyone else's rights, they have incredible incredible resources and are choosing to use them only for their own purposes. "Father" was intending to hand control over to me. with the right leadership, they could be using these resources to help people. just outright destroying it all and killing everyone inside regardless of anything would be such a loss. they have such potential for positive change in the commonwealth, in the world.

but despite the fact that you are being given control of the institute, despite the fact that the player character depending on your choices can be such a massively influential leader, you just don't get to make that choice. you aren't allowed to create change or negotiate peace. i tried working with them very cautiously up until i hit a wall where i was forced to decide between "destroy the railroad" and "destroy the institute" and i absolutely could not betray the railroad for these people

but before that, i suddenly got raided by the brotherhood out of fucking nowhere, which i understand now that ive started kind of acting as a double agent in the brotherhood on another file and learned they're pretty violently against synths and anyone who wants to help them

but if you don't do any of their quests there's really no buildup to this. i helped danse out that one time and we just never really talked again because i didn't want to join and then suddenly they're marching into my fucking HQ

how fucking dare they. honestly. i am still not over this. i will never be over this

i was really fucking mad about them tearing up HQ and about glory so i stormed into the "take out the prydwen" questline. at first

this was deacon's brilliant disguise for infiltrating the brotherhood. some fucking how this worked. how does he do it

but during the course of the infiltration i did some poking around to see what was in here first. and again i found lots of people believing they're doing the right thing. people who have been brainwashed and manipulated. people who are arrogant and self-righteous, sure, but do they deserve to die for it? there were children in here. i found a note from a child writing home to his parents out there somewhere. that kid is dead now because of me

everyone on that ship is dead. the game plays this as a triumphant victory. i wanted this at first because i was acting on Revenge but watching it all burn down just made me feel sick.

i never found danse again. he's no longer at the police station and i couldn't find him on the ship or in the wreckage. i never did anything with him beyond the first intro quest thing before you get the option to join the brotherhood (and honestly thus far on my other file he barely has a personality. i havent reached full affinity yet though) but the fact that we hung out together that one time and got on pretty well is still in the back of my mind and i really wish i could get the closure of like. finding out if he's dead or not. but since i never recruited him as a companion i can't track him and i don't think i can access like, console commands or w/e on steamdeck so i guess ill just never know

so. then the institute

i dont know why i dont have a screenshot from before things went to shit but anyway i was so fucking excited to see gorillas in here and they all ended up dead during the revolt. i guess i dont know what animals still exist out there in the world but i feel personally responsible for the extinction of the last remaining gorillas as of right now and let me tell you. it doesn't feel good

i didnt want this!! i didnt want any of this!

i dont feel responsible for shaun's death specifically since. he was dying anyway. but it doesn't help to know that technically i probably killed him first.

so. that's two mass murders/at least borderline genocides im now personally responsible for. this, also, was portrayed in game as a victory and a triumph. i just felt empty. we stopped two dangerous forces, but we killed so fucking many people to do it. i want to say the point is war never changes, but it felt like i was supposed to feel like "hooray we won we defeated the evil" rather than feeling like im just continuing the cycle of murder and destruction that brought the world to this state in the first place which seems incredibly against the point. i still feel just as strongly as i ever did that mass murder is not and is never the answer. this feels wrong. this doesn't feel like a win, to me.

sighs. yeah man. we still gotta worry about aliens

i brought synth shaun out with me. he seems to believe he's the original shaun? i don't know what to do with that. i have no difficulty accepting him as my kid, but he's fundamentally not the original shaun. that baby is gone. that baby grew up without me and became a man who is now dead. this is my second child and i feel like it would be better to acknowledge that than to treat him as if he were the child i lost. technically original shaun made him with his own dna and his memories so he's kind of my grandson.

i also don't know what his life is going to be like, it sounds like he was created as specifically a "child synth" - not a baby, and all other synths start as adults, so it seems like they don't age. nick is a prototype so we don't know how he compares to the current generation but he's been around for ages

so presumably synth shaun is going to just be a child forever. he'll have codsworth, curie, nick, and hancock to look after him, though. i think he'll be alright.

mildly concerning meta implications here but sure

i brought him to the castle, it's my most well-established and well defended settlement and it's where preston and curie live when they're not with me, so it felt like a good place for him. i don't usually leave codsworth at the castle but i brought him to see shaun anyway

i built him his own room and everything

[rotruff]

🫧 🕯🕊 for the ask game if youre still doing it ^_^

this is so long im sorry ive been thinking abt him a lot . smiles.

🫧 - who makes the other one laugh more, you or your f/o? do you tell each other jokes, or is it more a natural sense of humor?

hmming and hawing ... i feel like id laugh more just because i think ban could keep it together longer. it takes a really strong bit or some killer timing to get him to really lose it whereas i can only marginally keep it together in the name of a bit. we're both playing stupid for some joke and then quietly devolving into tears and cackling for the next 5 minutes. i think its more natural, less active setting up and more just that sort of natural banter. its always two stupid bitches telling eachother exactly ♥️

🕯 - do you and your f/o live together? why or why not? what do your living space(s) look like?

ok im going to admig that im a fake ass fan and say im not totally sure where he lives . like region wise. ban/lands would make sense but also that is a prison so maybe not. wherever the other deities are? also makes sense that is his family but i feel like hes got his own place a little ways away. i dont know but either which way i think its semi-seperate. chances are he's probably staying with me more my winternorthernborn ass is not going to the Lava Pit Place and i think wind/force would kill me i dont know why she wouldnt already but i am not going to push my luck.

as far as how it looks .... its a little bit of a mess ♥️ idk how much ive talked abt my s/i but as per usual theyre meant to be a doctor of sorts, as such have sort of a part-house-part-office thing going on. house part is normal enough if not a little sparse because i dont know how to decorate and neither does he i go to look at decor and get distracted like im making an ikea showroom. i think over time its started to steadily house more of bans stuff since he stays there pretty frequently as opposed to just mine. smiles. when when the growth of the relationship is tangible and has physical proof

🕊 - how do you and your f/o dress? do you coordinate outfits together? do you dress similarly, or are you opposites?

VERY SAD. most times its a pretty hard no we dress very differently because i am not wearing all that armor and he cant handle my baggy clothes swag. when hes Normal though um um um. i dont think matching or anything but similar vibes. id love to go into more detail but i cant i cant think much beyond that one skin. dont talk to me GOODNIGHT!!!!!!!!!