#which I still feel on some level I suppose
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hi!!! i love your works<3
could you maybe write vessel x reader first date?
A sappy first date with the big guy. He’s a bit nervous. But so are you.
Vessel x GN reader.
Under the cut ~ <3
It’s a nice place. It’s quiet, the lights are dim, the booths are made in such a way that it’s like you’re on a whole other planet when you sit in them. Which normally, would be phenomenal. Having such a level of privacy while enjoying your dinner, it’s perfect. But this time it feels like a curse. Like the world is working against you. Because sat across from you is Vessel. He’s in a freshly ironed button up, a dark blue that looks almost black under these lights. His hair is combed back out of his face and he looks at you like you hung the stars. It’s awful.
It’s your first date.
And he’s doing absolutely everything right.
The problem is, every time your eyes meet you’ve half a mind to tell him you love him.
You’ve known each other a while, and he’s always had that effect. But here, on your first date, when the tension between you two is burning up the room and the feelings you kept hidden for so long are pretty much sitting on the table in front of him? Yeah long story short you’re both clearly nervous as all hell and neither of you know how to approach it. Telling him you love him in a panic attempt at easing into the night probably isn’t the way to go. But this date is just so different and it feels so real, your panic stems from more than just wanting to break the ice, it’s coming from the little voice in your head that’s telling you if this date goes the way you want it to… he’s it for you.
You can only hope to the god he spends so much time worshiping that he feels somewhat the same way.
You like Vessel.
You want him to like you back.
“Look, uh… we don’t have to do this. I’d never want to push you.”
His voice, which you’re sure is proof of heaven alone, snaps you right out of your panic. Then, gives you even worse panic.
“Huh? Why?”
There’s obvious worry in your tone, you know it. He picks up on it, because of course he does.
“I just worry you’re not really present. I’d hate for this to be something you’re just trying to get through, sometimes two people just aren’t supposed to go there… you know?”
His eyes are cast down. He doesn’t want to watch you agree with him. He can’t do it. He can’t make himself watch you sigh in relief. He can’t make himself watch you realise this was indeed a mistake. He can’t make himself smile at you as you tell him you’re sorry but he’s right.
“Oh god… Vessel I’m so sorry.”
Hm. If you listen close enough… you might just be able to hear the sound of his heart shattering in his chest over the clinking of the cutlery throughout the restaurant.
“No, please it’s okay. It happens. You’re still my-“
“It’s just been a long time since I’ve been this excited about a date, got a bit lost in my own head there for a moment. I’m sorry. I’m here I promise.”
Oh fucking Christ thank Sleep one hundred times to the moon and back again. His heart thumps wildly against his ribcage, he’s almost positive you can hear it. And he doesn’t even attempt to hide the sigh of relief that escapes him and the happy smile that graces his lips.
“That is… yeah that’s a relief. I won’t lie to you.”
He huffs a nervous laugh as he fiddles with the tablecloth hanging over the side of the table between you.
“I mean, there wouldn’t have been any hard feelings of course… but I’m really happy you still want to be here.”
You’re silent for a moment while you decide whether or not what you’re about to do is a bad idea or not. But you want to show him you’re serious about this date, you want him to see you enjoying his presence. You need to snap yourself out of it and make some moves.
So you get up.
His head snaps up and he watches you slide out of the booth with a look of complete dread. He straightens up. His hands fall to his sides and his face turns beet red. His jaw opens and closes as he tries to force words out but no sounds escape him. That is until you round the table and slide in next to him.
You offer him a little smile as your side presses against his. Your knees bump together under the table and your hands brush as you situate yourself. He uses his other hand to press his face into it. His voice muffled slightly as he groans quietly into it.
“Fucking Christ… you’re going to send me into an early grave.”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. You purposely bump his knees with your own this time, trying to lighten the mood a little.
“I’m sorry… did I scare you?”
“Yes. Yes you did. I thought I’d ruined it all.”
He laughs a little, and he looks down at where you’re pressed up against him. His cheeks are flushed but he looks happy. His eyes sparkle and when he grins down at you, all his teeth are on full display. It’s the kind of smile that would make your cheeks hurt a little bit. The kind that’s a bit awkward and feels too big for your face.
It suits him.
“I’m sorry, Vess. I really like you, I was worried about it not working and kind of got too deep into worrying about it.”
He blinks down at you, it’s a slow blink, his cheeks are still tinted red from your close proximity and you swear for one moment it looks like he’s got hearts in his eyes.
“Don’t panic, love. It’s definitely working.”
His voice is low, it changes the mood almost immediately and all of a sudden it’s too warm in this booth. Who’s idea was it to cozy up to him like this. It feels like you’re suffocating again, he’s so overwhelming when all he’s doing is speaking to you.
He was right before, the tablecloth that hangs over the side of the table really is that interesting. You can’t stop yourself from fiddling with it, you’re starting to feel awkward again. You hear him force a deep breath into his lungs above you before his very large very beautiful hand encompasses your much smaller one, and intertwines his fingers between yours. There’s a slight tremble, you can feel it when you squeeze his hand tight enough. You’re positive doing that made it worse but it’s so endearing that you can’t even feel guilty.
Everything about Vessel is so endearing.
“Thank you for saying yes to me.”
If you weren’t sitting so close you probably wouldn’t have heard him. He gazes down at you, eyes so full of hope. It makes your throat close up and need prickle through your chest.
“Of course, Vess. You thought I would have said no to you?”
“No. I didn’t think you would…”
Cheeky fucker.
“… but I’m just so happy you said yes. I’m excited to be here, like this, with you. I’m sure it’s obvious.”
You lean up and press a soft kiss to his cheek, this causes a chain reaction, starting with his furiously blushing cheeks (yet again), then he smiles so wide he has to look at the ceiling just to calm himself down, his breathing picks up and his hand squeezes yours where he’s holding it in his lap. He looks back down at you with a smile that says a lot. It’s a wobbly smile, his chin wrinkles up and his eyes squint a little. It screams hope. Like most of his body language does tonight. But this smile is the epitome of ‘I know you know exactly how I feel about you and I know you feel the same way.’
Nerves and excitement crackle in the air between you.
“I’m excited too. For tonight. And for our next date. And the ones after that. I’m sure that’s obvious.”
He nods at you, his wobbly smile grows. Somehow, you didn’t think it could get any bigger but it does. He’s gotta cast his eyes down, he looks at your intertwined hands and nods again, at them… to himself… to you? You’re not sure, but he’s sure of whatever he’s nodding about. And that feels good.
.
.
.
<3 <3 <3
Thank you for reading.
#hehehehehee nervous first date with vessel#he’s so sweet on you#wants it to work so bad#sleep token#sleep token fanfiction#sleep token x reader#vessel#sleep token vessel#vessel sleep token#vessel x reader#vessel sleep token x reader#sleep token vessel x reader#wine spilt#marys musings
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I love everything that you write and I wanted to bring this up with you. I feel like if we had seen the actual moment (at least in one of the regrets) of Mythal’s death, it would have been so impactful. It’s something that Solas talks about constantly and that he feels responsible for and I feel like it would have been a huge moment for the player to see in the story. I dunno. Just ranting. Thoughts?
thank you anon 🥺 i would love to yap about this with you… i think you are totally right that seeing mythal’s death would have been really powerful. i COULD be amenable to an argument that keeping it off screen adds to the drama and tension and the way mythal haunts the narrative…. IF that was their intention… but i don’t think it was lol i think it was probably another victim of the messy development.
mythal so thoroughly haunts the narrative and the lighthouse itself… i think if they leaned into that and we ONLY saw her through solas’s pov in murals, keeping the mystery of her murder off-screen would make sense. but considering we literally get to talk to her, she has enough of an on-screen presence that maintaining that sense of separation is already a lost cause. we also know mythal on some level through flemeth, who has literally ranted about mythal’s death!!! “she was betrayed as i was betrayed”!!!! i think it would have been a nice climax of flemethyal’s arc to see that betrayal or at least hear about it.
i totally agree that it would have humanized solas further and i think that would’ve been nice to see, especially how his complicated grief for her was the catalyst/final straw against the evanuris of the veil going up. he also does actually talk about her murder several times, and we know it happens with THE DAGGER so it feels like it would’ve made sense to elaborate on how it happened more, and the fact that it’s his dagger, that she told him to make, that he used to tranquilize the titans, that he carries with him still, that he is so attached to and obsessed with, THAT DAGGER that did it!? it would have served as a really nice metaphor for his attachment to his grief and regret and the precious world, manifested physically in this dagger that also KILLED MYTHAL (and Varric now too!!)
he actually brings up what im assuming is her death when you ask him about blood magic (lol a lot to unpack here but that’s for another time) and honestly idk what to make of his convo because the way he speaks about it is very detached which i find interesting. obviously this might not be about Mythal but the implication that the dagger used was made via blood magic and sacrifice and “I suppose it depends upon the dagger" is suspicious to me….
anyway, i think who would’ve really benefitted most from us seeing mythal’s murder is ELGAR’NAN!!!!!! HELLO!?!?!? HE MURDERED HIS WIFE AND ITS ONLY MENTIONED ONCE WHEN HE AND SOLAS ARGUE!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK????? the fact that mythal and elgar’nans relationship is nearly nonexistent is one of veilguard’s biggest sins to me. it should have been a huge part of the main story. they are literally THE SUN AND THE MOON. THEY ARE THE ALL MOTHER AND ALL FATHER OF ALL ELVES?????????? and he betrays and murders her and stabs her in the stomach. and literally no one talks about it ever it just doesn’t come up except for like 2 lines. elgarnan was such a one dimensional villain with no motivations (being a naturally evil spirit of tyranny doesn’t count and it’s boring) and no attachments and he feels completely inhuman as a result. like literally he’s just evil and that’s it and it’s so boring. we could have had such an interesting exploration of love and betrayal and how power corrupts and what it must’ve been like to be basically Elven Adam and Eve and a jealous man’s resentment culminating in violence and how mythal’s closeness to solas impacted her relationship with elgarnan like it could have been SO INTERESTING. and yeah. seeing her murder would’ve been a logical conclusion to a lot of build up. put it on the list of things we lost i guess 😔
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Ok this has been sitting in my drafts for a minute but since nobody asked for it, here’s my full Nicky headcannon. It leads into an insane MCU witch movie with Agatha, Wanda, Rio, Billy, Tommy (?), maybe Jen and even Alice. All the witches! I got yall.
So, Nicky Scratch. That boy is Agatha and Rio’s but most prominently he is Death’s Son, right. A demigod something or other, an entity, Something Else. Not really human/mortal, but certainly not dead either. He’s in the same class of whatever Rio is. Rio knows this from day one. Agatha does not.
That means two main things: Nicky isn’t really “dead,” (he wasn’t even supposed to be “living”) and that kid should have hella powers. We should have seen some indication of that imo in the show but I can explain it away easily enough in a minute. Either way, under the surface he should have scary magic along the lines of Billy if not far more powerful.
Except while Billy has essentially Wanda’s magic, creator magic, Nicky’s is much, much darker. You know, something fitting of a child of Death.
Let’s say Nicky has Black Magic. 👀 haven’t seen that one on the color wheel of magic colors yet amirite. (Except the Darkhold I suppose, which is an interesting connection potentially.) Or maybe it's like Dark Magic, as in literal darkness. Darkling style. Maybe it's somehow a dark/light binary, like how Rio is technically a death/life binary. Idk I'm working on it, but you get the idea. He's on another level, something adjacent to Rio but not quite the same.
His magic is so strong, corrosive, not evil necessarily but heavy and consuming, that it was killing his mortal body from the beginning.
That’s why he was never meant to live in the first place — like Rio he is Another Being, his magic is Something Else. It’s too much for a human little boy. He needed to join her to really “live” and have any hope of control over his magic.
His powers also make him a massive target for who knows what demons and underworld beings. … you see where this could go.
So in this version, let’s say Rio has a much deeper connection to Nicky on a magical level. She can tell when his magic is about to manifest in the world of the living and takes him right before that happens, otherwise both him and Agatha will be in danger. Perhaps she even tells Nicky what’s happening, and he can feel it coming too, which also accounts for why he goes with her so willingly, to protect his mama from his own power. Kind of a lot for a six-year-old to understand but again, he’s Special.
Maybe Rio’s even been keeping the monsters off Nicky and Agatha’s trail while Nicky was human. Tbh it was a miracle she managed it for six years alongside her other responsibilities. She never told Agatha a) because she didn’t want her being more afraid than she already was, b) because would it have really made any difference, Agatha would hate her either way and c) For The Drama.
When Rio takes Nicky, maybe she stashes him in some kind of purgatory space. Pocket dimension? Idk we have no idea what she has access to but let’s say she hides him away somewhere so that she can teach him to use his magic and keep him away from the demons. This is where I would pull in Alice if possible, after we see Rio take her into the smoke in ep 8 Rio makes her an offer to help her protect Nicky in purgatory for a while, because his powers are only getting stronger and she's starting to get worried something's going to happen. Yes, diverting a soul like that is wildly against the rules. She does it anyway for her son.
All of this of course makes Agatha’s hatred for Rio that much worse, because Nicky is still “alive” in a sense and Rio is doing everything she can to protect him and raise him and help him control his magic. She can’t tell Agatha any of this because anyone else who knows about Nicky is a liability. Again, she really shouldn’t have even let him live with Agatha in the first place, it was a massive risk to everyone involved. But she did, and Agatha has no idea what a gift that was, for her and for Nicky.
All of that said, this would set us up for some CRaZy MCU witch/underworld stuff. So here’s the rough outline of my movie: let’s say the demons finally find Nicky wherever Rio has him hidden and take him to the underworld, Mephisto, blah blah whatever. I’m not worried about the motive at this point. Age Nicky up to Billy’s age roughly so he can be a real character. Btw, in my head Nicky is still the sweetest bean, total opposite to either of his mothers, too good for this world, cursed with this insane power he doesn’t know what to do with. Obviously, we have some opportunity to develop him from there.
Anyway, once she finds out he’s gone, Rio is forced to tell Agatha the truth. There’s no one else she can trust to get Nicky back. (I’m imagining a juicy confrontation between the two of them where we just let Kathryn and Aubrey cook with the exposition.) Rio can’t go to the underworld herself for some reason, because of The Cosmic Rules, and the Jac Schaeffer rules of Rio can’t hang around on screen for too long (which I like, actually).
Rio only deals with the mortal plane and directing souls to whatever comes next. So it has to be Agatha who rescues him, but as a ghost she’s stuck on the mortal plane too. So now we gotta “bring her back to life,” because I need real life Kathryn Hahn in this full movie not as a ghost, you feel me. And she has to be able to use her magic. So we gotta manifest a new body around her ghost form. At first they think Billy can do it, but even he’s not that powerful, not to mention still relatively untrained.
… Do you see the vision yet?
There’s only one witch, who may or may not be dead, who can manifest Agatha Harkness back into a living breathing body. And Agatha HATES it with every fiber of her noncorporeal being, but she needs the Scarlet Witch to make her mortal again, so that she can go to the underworld and save her son. Of course, chaos and shenanigans ensue, and Wanda and the boys end up going with her.
I’m calling the movie — Agatha Harkness and the Scarlet Witch. It’s a team up babyyyy! It’s about women and power, Wanda and Agatha being two sides of the same coin, mothers and their sons, rewriting your story, reuniting and letting go, etc etc etc. Yes I have entire scenes already written in my head, no I’ll never actually write the fic or the screenplay, if somebody wants to run with this please let me know and I’ll give you what I got.
The point is, the story potential on Nicky is insane to be The One Who Brings Everyone Else Together and I really hope they don’t just throw it away.
#Agatha all along#nicky scratch#Nicky#nicholas scratch#Agatha harkness#Wanda maximoff#billy maximoff#Tommy maximoff#Rio Vidal#lady death#AgathaRio#Agatha x Rio#MCU witches#mcu#mcu fandom#marvel mcu#mcu witch movie#scarlet witch movie#the scarlet witch#marvel#headcannon#meta
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Socra’s Naruto liveblog, Ep 51-60
Ep 51:
-I really like Team 10 actually
-Choji’s human ball attack looks so slow lmao, the animation probably doesn’t do it justice
-welp rip Choji
-I can’t really take Kabuto seriously, idk why but I think it’s because his character design is so… underwhelming? Like his outfit is lame-looking (yes, I know it’s because he’s a spy or whatever) and he lacks any kind of intimidating or mysterious aura
-I fully believe that Naruto would get stomped by any one of the others who made it to the third round (except Dosu and maaaaybe Shikamaru depending on how hard he tries. Oh and also Temari because from what I’ve seen so far, I don’t believe the writer would let Naruto lose to a girl). I already know Naruto beats Neji, but I’m expecting a MAJOR asspull for that to happen
-Naruto says that Gaara took down Lee “without breaking a sweat”, which is like objectively untrue. Gaara definitely broke a sweat. He literally broke his fucking FACE
-oh my fucking god Konohamaru’s trainer is back???? I thought he was a one-off character lol
Ep 52:
-Kakashi I love you but the bar for being a better teacher than you isn’t that high
-Ebisu’s pompous-ass voice is so funny, it kinda reminds me of James from Team Rocket
-also Ebisu’s explanation of Naruto’s lack of chakra control has made me wonder again how the fuck Naruto mastered Shadow Clone jutsu in the first place. Like I get that he has inhuman levels of chakra, but that doesn’t matter if he doesn’t properly know what to do with it, right?????
Ep 53:
-d-did Naruto just stick his fingers up Ebisu’s butt
-we stan Naruto calling Jiraiya out on his bullshit
-I do like Jiraiya’s voice tho
-rip Ebisu
-instead of making a hundred comments about Jiraiya’s perviness, I’m just gonna say this: ew.
-oh Naruto you sweet innocent child
-NEVERMIND JIRAIYA GOT WORSE EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
-I never want to see the fucking sexy jutsu ever again, Jesus fucking Christ
-so I realize that Naruto’s seal isn’t always visible, but how the hell did he never notice and question it before he was told about having the Nine Tails within him
Ep 54:
-oh Dosu is attacking Gaara? Yeah Dosu is about to die isn’t he
-Gaara’s voice is extra edgy in this episode lmao
-aaaaand Dosu is dead. Bro fucked around and found out
-I still can’t take Kabuto seriously as a villain
-damn shit is getting real
-I am so fucking uncomfy with these Jiraiya scenes
-Naruto summoning a tadpole was kinda funny ngl
Ep 55:
-literally all of Team 7 needs to go to mandatory therapy, INCLUDING Kakashi
-I love that Sakura is fully supportive of Lee after he defended her in the Forest of Death; her buying him a flower along with Sasuke was nice
-I’m not a fan of Ino’s bun
-Lee my poor sonnnnnn
-see Naruto and Jiraiya’s dynamic has funny moments sometimes but it’s hard to enjoy them with all the pervy shit thrown in
Ep 56:
-watching this is making me crave ramen
-Naruto going like 👉👈🥺 was really cute
-Jiraiya says that Naruto’s body is “too small a vessel” to contain the Nine Tails’s chakra, almost like they SHOULDN’T HAVE SEALED IT IN A FUCKING BABY
-I feel like we’re supposed to like the Hokage, which is making me doubt my distrust of him
Ep 57:
-I like the big toad’s voice
-ah yes gotta love having ninja child soldiers
-Naruto was gremlining so hard at the end of this episode lol
Ep 58:
-why is Gaara turning this episode into a whole-ass horror movie
-Naruto saying he has a demon inside him as a show of power while threatening GAARA of all people was pretty ironic
-Gaara really is just trauma dumping all over the place
-Naruto basically instantly recognizing the tragedy of Gaara’s situation speaks a lot to his empathy and was a surprisingly mature moment for him
Ep 59:
-I want ramen so baddddd
-I don’t know what Shikamaru’s mom looks like but her genes didn’t even try
-also shoutout to Ino’s dad and his slay-ass ponytail
-Naruto please learn some tact
-Akamaru continues to be the cutest little bean
-I feel like they only included the Konohamaru side quest to pad out this episode’s runtime
Ep 60:
-I’m glad that Kiba, Ino, and Sakura all don’t seem too bummed about the results of their preliminary matches
-welp Naruto is fucking pissed
-the Byakugan veins look so painful
-why doesn’t Naruto just summon the giant toad and make it squash Neji
-respectfully Naruto needs to learn another way of fighting besides just “spam clones”
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Chapter 22 just had me screaming, rolling, "aw"ing and gave me butterflies, and I just have so much to saayyy!! I love how it just focused on every Mikaelson sib, bringing out deep parts of them, some deeper than others. Each wonderful part made me think so many different stuff that I wanted to share with you, so I thought I'd send you my thoughts in 2 parts; the first (this one) being about the sibs, and the other focusing on Nik and Elijah CUZ YOU JUST TRIGGERED SO MANY FEELINGS WITH THAT CHAPTER.
First, can I say that I loved every bit of her interaction with Finn? I watched this season when I was very young - I was like 11 or 12 years old, I think, and I never got to rewatch it, so I never just thought of Finn on a deep level. So, it just hit me how he was actually not the eldest - cuz of Freya - but he suddenly found himself the eldest when he lost his protector and playmate, his older sister. Knowing Mikael, he probably put a lot of responsibility on the boy... Or just ignored him entirely if he had reminded him of Freya. Then, more sibs kept coming, taking more of Finn's space... Meaning it just got "loud" (Mikael's abuse, Esther cheating, Elijah and Nik fighting over Tatia, Henrick's death, so many younger sibs to look out for but he couldn't protect them from anything really) 🥺💔 It must have hurt him so much to be daggered and shunned by his siblings, because he was the only one who actually knew and remembered when they used to be a healthy family before Freya was taken. Aaand I can see how he could still tell Reader "you're peculiar" when he sees her in New Orleans! It could just be their thing. I will die inside when both Finn and Sage died. Probably the way I should have felt when I first watched the episode, buuutt I was 12, so I didn't really feel anything to them.
Also, it really came to my attention how you wrote that Theo was chatting Rebekah's ear off, and she way just smiling at him, and I couldn't help but tell mysef that he probably reminded her of her baby Henrick. 🥺 I love that when Reader said "he probably has a tracker on me", Bekah went "girrrll, they probably both have trackers on you, your bro, your car and any potential car you might ever think of stealing" because Bekah knows how far they can go, and we know she knows. 😂 I love their bond and how natural their friendship is, Pukey can deny that all she wants, but their friendship is just so easy. But I can totally imagine Theo trying to hook Bekah up with Matt.
Kol, this chapter, was the polar opposite of Finn. But let's face it, he was obviously the nonchalant middle sibling back when they were human - Esther and Mikael had probably forgotten they even conceived him, so he felt he won at life (which he did). Having spent centuries making friends with witches and caring about magic to use against Lijah and Nik before he was daggered, was probably why he didn't know a thing about anxiety. I can understand how he and Theo might not like each other, because it so makes sense. Kol trying to kill Theo's boy, Jeremy, so Theo not liking Kol... That, I can totally understand. In addition to that, we have a saying in my dialect "A bean wouldn't get wet in their mouth" which refers to the inability of a person to keep a secret as in "oh, they spit secrets out so quickly and easily that a bean can be spit out just as fat so it wouldn't even get wet in their mouth". That was the only thing going through my mind as he told her what was supposed to be Elijah and Klaus' secret.
This brings me to my favourite brother, though! Not a Mikaelson brother, but a brother, nonetheless! The best brother, might I add? Theo, our diva queen, just glowed this chapter. I love how lrotective he is, and how his personality just showed. Our bro doesn't know how to back down even when Kol was up in his face. I adore how he only listens to two people: his boy, Jer, and his real mom, his older sister. He really reminds me of Molly from Alice in Wonderland. He just keeps waving an imaginary sword around, threatening everyone, but as soon as Pukey tells him to shoo, he shoos.
Now, let us discuss Pukey's older brother from another father and mother, Damon Salvatore! He is her brother, and I will stand by that to my last breath. As soon as I read-
"Pukey, we're leaving." Damon's tone was harsh, but something in his eyes made my heart tug.
-I instantly remembered the chorus of My Demons by Starset.
"We are one and the same
You take all of the pain away.
Save me if I become my demons."
He was sad and reckless and just wanted to leave, yet seeing how worn out she probably looked, he knew she wanted to leave just as much as he did. And even when he was acting stupid, he reached out to her. He's her brother - the uncle of any babies she might have with Nik and adopt with Elijah. He's simply her platonic soulmate.
STOP I LOVE THIS.
I’m so glad this chapter was able to bring so many thoughts and emotions out for you
Finn definitely deserved better!!!
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Damn, I saw one (and some) of your and I really wanna know. It feels like you really dislike Priscilla lmao. (With her accepting fate and all)
I wanna hear your detailed response, may I?
Sure, alright.
Okay, so — I want to start off by saying that my analysis of her as an embodiment of fate isn’t actually connected to any sort of personal sense of like/dislike that I might have of her (that would be a terrible way to do character analysis lmao). It’s that — the more you look at the scenes she’s in with that lens in mind, the more obvious that symbolism becomes. Her first meeting and gamble for the appas with Subaru in that alley in Arc 3 is blatant foreshadowing for Subaru’s fight against fate in the rest of the arc, for example, with him losing every round of rock-paper-scissors due to the world turning in her favor right up to the point where he finally wins by being clever and breaking the rules a little. Her relationship with him, too, resembles that of his with fate: she only favors him when he fights back. Her relationship with basically everyone in the cast is like this, actually. Priscilla and fate only begin to smile on Emilia when she starts standing on her own two feet instead of shying away due to her insecurities, they both beat Heinkel into the goddamn dirt, they both lead Aldebaran around by the nose due to him being a Stargazer — hell, the whole Arc 5 scene where she just shows up and challenges every other Royal Candidate gets a whole new level with this framework, with every other candidate explicitly resolving to rise to HER challenge, specifically. Which makes even more sense when you realize that they’re all challenging fate in some way (Crusch and Gluttony, Anastasia and her terminal illness, Felt and her defying her fate as a street rat, Emilia and Subaru and all their bullshit). I could go on, but my main point is that interpreting Priscilla as a symbol of fate makes all of her scenes MORE interesting, not less — and also that there’s too much here for it to be a coincidence.
As for my personal opinion of her character…it’s not so much that I dislike HER as that I dislike the interpretation of her as a moral center.
Priscilla works best as a villain. On a Doylist level, her whole character is being arrogantly self-assured that she is in the right at all times. If she were supposed to ACTUALLY be in the right all the time, then that would make her absolutely infuriating to listen to, because it would arguably turn her into nothing more than a mouthpiece for the author. I’d even go as far as to say that it would…arguably basically turn her into the most annoying example of a Mary Sue. BUT, giving her a perspective that is off-center from that of the narrative — while still allowing for her to maintain her dignity, right up to the very end — that makes her SO much more interesting. She turns from just “the person who says the correct thing all the time” to this very multifaceted, self-contained juggernaut of a character with her own very unique perspective and ideology separate from the narrative as a whole, and that makes her stand out as an actual powerhouse within the meta of the story. And her perspective IS off-center. Priscilla may value integrity and being true to oneself, just as the story does, but she also values the use of the ultimate sacrifice in favor of one’s goals, and heroism, and all the things that Subaru COULD accomplish through Return By Death that he absolutely should not attempt. And that is very, very pointed and purposeful.
And on a more Watsonian level — Priscilla is just a horrible person. Like, she’s not someone who goes around kicking puppies or anything, and she has some genuine moments of kindness, but she’s also got moments where she’s completely unapologetically horrible. She murders Aldebaran regularly. She almost slaughters Heinkel on the spot due to his accidentally shaming her with his poor behavior (Heinkel was in the wrong but that would absolutely have been an overreaction). Her response to Subaru in that failed Arc 3 loop was absolutely nasty and vindictive in a manner that was genuinely overblown, especially because she wasn’t just abandoning HIM, but also abandoning everyone in Irlam just to SPITE him. And again, it’s not like this is all there is to her — she’s got her moments — but like, you can’t ignore All That. Because there is a lot.
And I think ignoring it would do her a disservice, frankly, because it’s part of what makes her so fascinating. Tappei said in an interview once that she was “born complete,” and how I interpret that is that she has had this ideology and self-assuredness of hers basically from birth, has never had any reason or willingness to change, and eventually passed adhering to her own sense of morality and integrity down to her final breath. Priscilla isn’t a character that works if you try to reduce her to being “good” or “bad,” because above all else she is unapologetic about being herself, and so the point is not to judge her but to just…let yourself see everything that she is. —But then again, that’s also how Tappei writes all of the monsters in his story. Rowan, Cecilus, Elsa, Arakiya — all of the monsters are people who will absolutely never change, to the point where the narrative doesn’t even try to make them do so. And in Priscilla’s case, this isn’t even really a condemnation: it’s more…the story allowing her to maintain her dignity right up through the very end.
Anyways — I guess my point here is that Priscilla is genuinely a very fascinating character, but trying to interpret her as a Good Person (or worse, a moral center) shaves off a lot of what makes her so interesting just by design. Also her ideological framework is actively antithetical to a lot of what Re:Zero is about and I think that trying to ignore that misses the point of what her place in the story is there to accomplish.
#admittedly she’s still not one of my favorites but that’s just personal taste. I like sweeter characters is all#but I think I’ve managed to be objective in my interpretation of who she is and what she represents#priscilla barielle#my inbox#me tag
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Obsessed with his brain
#read a fic where he had to eat someone in the basement to survive and I am... obsessed#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#fop dale#idk ask to tag#art#digital art#fanart#blood tw#cannibalism tw#ed tw#In my mind his relationship with Dev is crazy. Because he wants to love Dev so badly but he is just. incapable of it.#and it makes him hate himself#On some level he thought seeing Dev would fix him. That he would feel all those things a dad is instinctively supposed to#and it would prove he wasn't broken. That deep down hes still human. that he's still capable of love just like everyone else#.And then he didnt. and he had no idea how to deal with it#In a way hes kind of scared of Dev. Dev makes him feel so uncomfortable with himself. so he just kind of avoids him.#Which um. thats your son sir you cant do that.#I love dale but he should absolutely not be a father. He is just not built for it
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Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?
Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍
Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂↕️
#was so tempted to put 'sometimes 'love' is just autistic obsession' as an answer bc on god#i do think that's a factor for me. like. espppppp in moe's case. moe is just Obsessed w alfonse.#extremely weird about him constantly studying him. like. it does feel like love... the intensity of it..... but.#both me and moe. most romance repulsed motherfuckers out there.#like. like. not to get too personal but the one relationship i did have. i genuinely felt i loved him#but i also think. so much of it was me reflecting what i Think love was 'supposed' to look like.#most importantly he was my best friend (at the time). and i def did feel differently about him than i did anyone else/even other friends#which is why i'm so conflicted... like half i did genuinely love him half i've never been able to love correctly#and it's always taken some level of putting on a performance according to what i see to 'perform' love#like. like. am i just autistic. does it just come down to the autism again.#but also esp nowadays like. back on my bullshit. i actually ALWAYS hesitate to call whatever moe has w alfonse 'romantic'#like. i think he does feel/experience romantic feelings. but moe is just so dysfunctional and messy#that like. i don't think it would call anything it feels about alfonse romance.#but it still completely adores him. in a way that's distinct from how it loves sharena and how it feels about anyone else.#even charas it admires. somehow. which honestly jusy leads me back to The Obsession again#also extremely focal is how the demisexuality kicks in. like. it's definitely not devoid of sexuality.#IDK IDK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH I'VE TALKED TOO MUCH AND I'M SO TIRED. I'VE BEEN SO TIRED#i'm not in my feelings honestly i'm just frustrated LMFAOOO LIKE. SCREAMING. WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#why am i preordained by fate to never be loved OR understood. wjat the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I made a lmk oc
#they’re supposed to be some sort of experiment to see if people could recreate Sun Wukongs stone egg. the goal was to make a more controlled#and tame version using carved wood and cultivation. but eventually they got worried about it becoming too powerful and scrapped it#eventually they come to life and live in the abandoned temple they were built in#their bottom half is made of wood because when they came to life their creator/s left them unfinished when they scrapped the project#they had to carve the rest of their body out of hunger and frustration because they couldn’t eat or move much by crawling on their top half#this is also why they spite their creators and hate irresponsible creation. because of abandonment issues and feeling like they have no#purpose or direction in life#their power is also very limited to due being man made since they were originally a wood carving#meo gave me the idea but one reason would be because they’re half finished. the sculpture was still half stump so it was completely untouche#that half can channel power in its raw form but the other half cannot once it’s been carved by man#so technically they could have the same level or potential for power as the stone but that was dampened#the other thing is how they were created to be a duplicate or recreation of a stone monkey and a celestial looked at that and was like#‘we’re not doing that again’ LMAO#i think the case of them carving their own legs doesn’t take away their power though. that balance was made#before they came to life so carving the legs or not can’t affect it anymore. like making a cake and slicing it#their energy levels are also naturally low because of that so their movements are sluggish and they aren’t very active overall#constantly lying in the sun to charge their batteries and get some stuff done. just like me fr#I actually don’t know what I’m gonna do with this character besides Put Them In Situations with other ppls ocs.. so if you have#a lmk oc you have been warned /lh /j#I wanna make some backstory art for them though.. maybe even the animatic treatment if I can get through dear wormwood which is 25#SECONDS OUT OF 3 MIN BTW#doodles#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#Monkie kid#lmk oc#monkie kid oc#myart#my art#xin ya
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...
#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day#is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into#spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill#keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else#and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late#to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a#job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place#but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human#level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker#unrelated
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Any shows you recommend?
Currently, I have three recommendations in order of preference. They are centered around fictitious serial killers with a theme of finding someone who truly understands and accepts you, bones, bloodshed, and all. The first two are also rather yandere-coded.
I can discuss any of these at length if anyone is interested, although I have not finished the last one yet. I think I focused on describing the writing and production design more than the plot and characters...
NBC Hannibal: This is three seasons of beauty. The writing is poetry, wrought with heavy metaphors and a degree of pretention. There is also careful attention to the details of the set design, costuming, and literally everything else that can be (and has been) analysed for years. The violence is grotesquely gorgeous, and the entire show has a surreal, dream-like quality to it that hollows you out and then settles in the pit of your stomach like a particularly evocative piece of art.
Also, Mads Mikkelsen is a talented actor (I can go into more detail about his work), and Hugh Dancy as Will Graham is absolutely stunning. As in aesthetically angelic. As in "I am no better than Hannibal Lecter in the way I get Stendhal syndrome looking at this man and feel the urge to paint him". I originally thought I was similar to Will Graham's character while first watching the show, but my darling said I was actually more akin to Hannibal despite never watching it. She was right, of course. All that aside, I highly recommend. In the words of Will Graham, "It's beautiful".
[As an aside, my new username has nothing to do with Hannibal, although I don't mind the association. I am referring to cannibalism as a whole.]
Strangers in Hell (Also known as Hell Is Other People): This is a Kdrama similar to NBC Hannibal in regard to the characters with the contained descent to madness of High Rise or Parasyte, visuals of The Shining, and the occasional thematic Breaking Bad-styled transitions. It has gorgeous coloured lighting, creative camerawork with the set design, and emotive acting (I am always impressed by Lee Dong-wook's acting range.). Highly underrated, in my opinion. And it is only ten episodes long, which if you are like me, you could binge-watch in one night.
Dexter: I started this show because an instructor of mine said that I reminded her of it/the main character. It could have simply been because I was in covered in human viscera and have a morbid enthusiasm and sense of humour, but he is relatable from what I have seen so far. It's quite funny, and the internal monologuing is reminiscent of American Psycho if you enjoy that narrative style. I hear that the plot gets strange towards the later seasons, however.
#your yandere#aidoneus asks#show recommendations#Sometimes I feel wistful watching these shows- to be accepted wholly and unconditionally sounds like something unattainable#Then again I don't make it easy for people to get close to me#And for some reason I still place my darling's validation and acceptance above everyone else's#She got upset about me looking into someone she mentioned being creepy towards her years ago in passing out of principle#I wanted to bury myself alive from the guilt of making her feel unhappy even though I don't particularly regret my 'overprotective' actions#I don't need/want someone to match my levels of insanity- I wish to be known and appreciated rather than tolerated#Which I suppose is the value of being on here#Even so I soften my moments of apathy/inclination towards manipulation and am very private overall on the Internet
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What are you scratching exactly?
The boundaries of knowledge and truth, seeking wisdom not yet sighted by mortal eyes. Scraping away the wall of ignorance that holds us all back from our full potential.
Or something. I dunno. I just needed a handle that didn't feel like it had spent half a decade slugging it out in the trenches of RP forums.
#on some level i feel that time gave me a good sense of the value of arguing over the internet#which is almost none#still i suppose there are worse places i could have been on the early World Wide Web#enjoy this minor scratching92 lore
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chants of sennaar is a fun game if youre good at guessing what the devs were thinking
#if one of the words you guess kinda make sense but is wrong then your ass is not getting that page filled in#also they made some game designs that i disagree with#actually im gonna talk about it right now in the tags#i will only be talking about the tutorial puzzle room so no spoilers#well i will be spoiling this puzzle but whatev#theres a lever and a closed door and a note next to it that says 'up = closed door. down = open door.'#the goal of this level is to figure out what the words say because its in a made up language with words represented by symbols#So naturally#you flip the lever and realize that doing so opens the door and then you can assume what the symbols mean#OH WAIT#YOU LOOK BACK AT THE LEVER AND ITS GONE BACK TO THE UP POSITION#AND THE DOOR IS STILL OPEN#so that really messes up how youre supposed to figure out the words?? like how do you know the down position is open what if someone had fl#flipped it before so down meant close because they closed it by pulling the lever down#IT JUST DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!#THEN AFTER THAT they force you to fill out the pages to get the words locked in#they dont let you proceed until you do so#so. Naturally#you assume that whenever the pages show up youre supposed to be able to figure it out at that point#which is like saying youre supposed to fill out a crewmates name on the Obra Dinn as soon as their face gets unblurred#in other words its only there because you got the smallest of hints. you are at the earliest possible point that you can figure it out on#UNREASONABLE BUT THATS WHAT IT TEACHES YOU#all in all it doesnt feel like the game was playtested by other people#plus the movement is too slow
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I am pissed.
#At a Lot of things in rl#At people around me#At a lot of fact#AT MYSELF#then at fandom stuff too (I blocked. Without even thinking but it still frustrates me)#Just So MANY things and more mainly at the fact#I don't even know if my anger si valid (it isn't. I KNOW I shouldn't take this stuff seriously because they've internalised it for AGES and#being mad at them is not going to change anything. But I just. Idk. I am supposed to be grateful and love them and I DO but I. I just.#THEN I come upon this fucking condescending blog (which doesn't even exist any more but what I saw was some posts from it ig) and it made#My blood boil (it was about~~bad~~ fanfics#Like on one hand yes some fanfics are stupid™(inherently homophobic ones bashing fics etc)#But like. Unless the authors have stated they are comfortable with critiques you don't get to be assholes#Like. Maybe the blog just meant to poke fun and I don't even know if that blog was stupid and BAD and it could just#Be I dislike the tone or something#Which is valid because things don't have to be bad just because I dislike them but. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH#And then I just somehow started thinking abt the fact that#Sometimes people mean a lot to me but I don't necessarily mean that much to them#AND THAT'S OKAY.#So it felt kind of entitled of myself to feel upset at that or something#(on the surface level I feel like I know it isn't necessarily that simple#And this whole thought process is nearly bullshit#so I just. I am tired I just want to enjoy things and I want to care about people and show them that I want to form long lasting healthy#Relationships#And I incredibly tired of whining about it on the main but writing it down just feels like I am telling at a fucking wall and it is make me#feel like shit and I can't.#I am learning and unlearning and learning#And ftr I know I can just not engage with opinions which I KNWO will piss me off or make me feel sad#it's on me and I know it but it's also just that#I want to read perspectives contradicting my own and understand people while disagreeing with them#But I guess I haven't reached the mental space to that just yet
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Fuck is going on with Cymru by the way seems an absolute mess. Of course we knew there was going to be a drop off post bale while the team re established itself but you'd have thought they'd at least have a plan? It's like Bale was the only thing holding them together ffs. Page seems to have completely given up, got four goalkeepers but no established no.1, called up morrell and Moore despite them being suspended for the qualifier match instead of trying out some new players no wonder they're struggling to sell tickets.
#i know they have a friendly as well which i assume morrell and moore can play but surely that makes it an even better time to test some new#players#I'm not even saying that as part of my call up Collins agenda because he doesn't actually deserve it at the moment but surely you could#bring up some youth chat up some begrudged high level championship player who qualifies through a grandparent do something#i suppose the world cup performance was a sign of what was to come it kind of feels like their one aim was to get to the world cup and they#did that and lost all motivation#which is sort of to be expected and of course talent ebbs and flows particularly in a small country but still there feels like a failure of#development and scouting that there are so few options#wales nt
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sooo. i was being so sad wet pathetic earlier btw. and then vengeful hateful mean angry. and then vulnerable skittish little creature. really a rough turn of events fortunate to have good friends but i do feel like an absolute immature embarrassing fool even though i Know they’re not thinking of me that way
#:((((#gonna cry some more abt it i think#i can’t be perfectly umm controlled in front of people always i suppose. and i’m meant to be embarrassing i’m human it’s fine. but god.#i’m at my limit there i don’t want to be this affected by everything that happens to me. which is so Little because i’m so careful and#anxious about everything ever#absolute worst feeling when u know you’re gonna cry in front of someone and you still attempt to hold it back when u know u can’t. ugh.#i mean. i’ve been saying how i’m truly not that well and also any level of emotional vulnerability outside of jokes makes me wanna vom#so this shouldn’t be so shocking to my system. but here we are#abby talks
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