#which I could use to come up with something for her backstory later(trauma <3)< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[ineed-to-sleep]

Some sketches I did to try to get a feel for what I want my Rook to look like 🤔

[cyanoticfireflies]

Hazbin Hotel - Rewatch Thoughts (Episode 1, Part 3)

I know Adam has his guitar and Alex Brightman voice, but is he an actual rockstar in Heaven?  He’s going on about his gig in his anecdote. 

They talked about how Lilith empowered demon-kind with her songs – but how did Heaven get its groove then?

I’m so fascinated by this because Adam knows who Charlie is.  He knows she’s Lucifer’s daughter, which pretty much makes her Lilith’s daughter (theories in the epilogue, theories in the epilogue) which means that she could have been Adam’s daughter if his first wife hadn’t run off with another guy.  Honestly, considering how immature and spiteful Adam is shown to be later, sitting down and talking to Charlie and having lunch “with” her is reasonably chill behavior on the Adam scale….  I’m kind of getting “that weird uncle that peaked in college” vibes from him.

Starting from about this point is where Lute begins to become more interesting to me than Adam.  We get what he’s like.  But when he’s asking whether a girl would want a “lesser” guy to him, Lute shakes her head, agreeing with him. 

She hasn’t said a word so far, but immediately she’s on Adam’s side – not at all appalled that this guy representing Heaven is acting like this and in agreement with him even.

Lute will remain fascinating to me, just saying that now.

Adam goes into listing what he thinks is “our biggest problem” and knowing what we know about Adam later him possibly having herpes is both amusing and scary.  I’m pretty sure he uses the exorcist army as his own harem.  Maybe that’s why all of them are so angry.

(Yes, I think everyone caught the fourth wall break.)

(We’re not the ones who refuse to go out in public without a mask on, big man.  Well, at least not since COVID numbers went down!)

I really want to find out Niffty’s backstory. 

I’m sure Vivianne already has the whole thing drafted out in her head.  But that complete paralysis when the camera was rolling seemed like a trauma response.  And that’s in a room that has a guy that is frequently raped on camera standing a few feet away from her.  Niffty goes totally dissociative until she hears the word “cut” and the camera beep off.  So, so curious.

(Have some nightmare fuel.)

I feel like working in the film industry Angel would be the perfect person to explain “fix it in post” to Vaggie if she hadn’t bitten his head off.  He literally raises his hands in surrender when she snarls at him, so done with all of their shit.

What room is Vaggie in when she’s editing the commercial?  We know there’s a reasonably better working TV down in the living room since they were watching it at the beginning of episode 4, and that room doesn’t look like hers and Charlie’s room that we see later on.

And why did this seemingly unused room get matching elephant statues for the mantle?

Alastor shows up to be generally unhelpful and kick her while she’s down, as he’s wont to do. 

Alastor’s shadow thing is so interesting to watch.  In some ways, it almost acts like Asmodeus’s extra faces from Helluva Boss, mimicking Alastor’s emotions.  But then other times it acts semi-separately.  Is the shadow thing supposed to be Alastor’s unfiltered id behind his veneer?

(You can actually kind of see a non-psychotic deer form for Alastor when the camera bugs out when Vaggie is trying to video him.  That looks like a deer to everyone else too, right?)

When Alastor has his “this face was made for radio” freakout, he’s missing the X in the middle of his forehead that he always has later, which is just an interesting detail to note.

I also feel like “who or what you are” is something that could come up later on.  We know that Alastor is an aberration in Hell, having powers at levels never before seen from a Sinner.  Either his deal goes back farther than I was suspecting or else he’s been very not-usual from the start.

I feel like what Alastor does here with Vaggie is the first (or second if the pilot is cannon) step along a long road to desensitization.  We make him see two deals in the current timeline in the show – once to not have to fuss with the TV ever again, once for a favor where Charlie “harms no one.” 

He seems to be getting them used to making little, insignificant (or maybe significant, depending on his favor – it was very specifically worded) deals with him.  Like when you try to get close to a stray animal so inch your way towards it one step at a time.  Though in this case Alastor would probably do the biting…

I also feel like it’s very telling that Alastor didn’t bother to offer to do his whole set/costumes/crew thing when Vaggie first asked for help with the commercial.  Only when helping with the commercial was in some way beneficial to him.

Are these dude’s Alastor summons a couple of times other Sinners, or are they just fake, temporary creatures?  Does that mean that Alastor is controlling them or are they equipped with some sort of rudimentary AI that lets them perform the tasks he’s set to them?  If they are other Sinners, Husk and Niffty are out of uniform.  If they aren’t, Angel can probably keep the one he hits on later as a fancy sex toy without many moral implications.

(Alastor should give up being the Radio Demon and give Velvette a run for her money in the fashion industry.  Angel and Vaggie’s outfits in particular are *chef’s kiss*)

I hope Alastor’s closed captions staff are better than Amazon’s, though. 

Also, at some point during the flash back to the hotel, Adam has finished his pile of ribs.  I don’t know how if he never shuts up enough to let someone else get a word in edgewise.

Adam and Lute start talking about the Exterminations, and Lute mentions that she “got a good 275 this year.”  (We’ll be coming back to that number later, by the way.)

Adam seems impressed by this, telling her that was “bad-ass” and giving her a fist bump.  While calling her “danger tits.”  Lute does not, in fact, punch Adam in the face for this.  Again here Lute seems totally on board with Adam’s… Adam-ness.

She seems like some of the girls that I’ve known from school, work, etc that go out clubbing and actually will give the time of day to the guys who wear sunglasses inside and think that negging is a successful way to get women’s attention.  Lute, you are encouraging bad behavior!

But that’s not surprising since Lute is quickly revealed to be a zealot, a fanatic, an extremist. 

She hasn’t just drank the Kool-Aid, she was pouring the fruit punch flavored powder mix into the pitchers for other people to add the water to. 

(Is this because if you, personally, catch an angel making one you de-angel-ify them?

Her belief system is carved in stone, and unfortunately for Charlie and all of Hell that belief system is that Sinners double-dying is not only an acceptable thing but an excellent thing.

Lute does reveal something here that has the potential to become important later: that Lucifer made some kind of arrangement that spares the Hellborn from the exorcisms. 

Vivziepop’s other show “Helluva Boss” focuses a lot more on the Hellborn than Hazbin Hotel does (obviously, with Hazbin being focused on the redemption of Sinners.)

The Hellborn that we see/know/spend time with in Hazbin are going to include: Charlie, Keekee, Razzle, Dazzle, the Egg Boys, Fat Nuggets, and that’s pretty much it.  Everyone else aside from background characters in Hazbin – I may have missed one or two – is an open target.  I guess maybe fallen angels must also be exempt since no one is trying to go after Lucifer himself.

Lute’s words do seem to upset Charlie a bit.  “How little you matter,” she said, and it looked like a hit to Charlie’s battleship.  Which I know Charlie is a bouncy blonde ball of daddy issues at this point, but it really seems like the opposite, doesn’t it?  Like she – and the other Hellborn – were being protected.  Is Charlie upset that the exorcists aren’t coming after her because they can’t, so they don’t really care about (killing) her?  Maybe that’s just Charlie’s guilt for being exempt?

Charlie tries to explain her plans to Adam and Lute, but by this point we all know that she’s not going to succeed, right?  At least her crayon drawings are kind of cute.

“Hell is Forever” sounds like one of the songs that the youth pastors I grew up having to go hang out with every other week (divorced parents, split custody) used to make religion cool to the youngsters. 

Very Skillet, Fireflight, etc.  This ain’t your grandpappy’s religion – except the whole eternal damnation part.  Except I’m pretty sure they would have censored some of the “fucks” to let us have this one.

Adam kind of cuts through all of the divine judgement propaganda to get to the heart of things in the second verse.  This isn’t even about population control or final death or any of that – he and his exterminators just enjoy it.

 Since we find out later that no one else knows about the exterminations, I imagine that the exterminators have to be – up to a certain point, at least – on their best behavior in Heaven.  This kind of makes Extermination Day a bit like “The Purge” for exorcists. 

One day to go nuts and get it all out of their systems.  Frankly, it might be a little bit dangerous for Heaven to stop the extermination; after several thousands of years of having that release valve, if it was suddenly taken away that pressure could go pretty kaboom – and Sera won’t let that kaboom happen anywhere near her Winners.

(Charlie is right.  Where did all of these backup singers come from?  They’re gold, not full monochrome like Lute, so they’re probably not real exorcists they yanked into the meeting room from the lobby.  Adam must have a “give me a posse” button in the Heaven version of the meeting room.)

Adam’s big reveal comes right at the end of the song.  They’re moving the next Extermination Day up to six months instead of a year out.

Who approved this plan?  Did Sera sign off on this?  This seems like really bad population control practice.  The exterminations seem to already be getting worse and worse (Carmilla Carmine says specifically that this most recent extermination was brutal, with approximately 15% of the Sinner population being wiped out.) 

If they increase the pace and severity of exterminations, that’s almost a third of the population each year.

I stopped going to church a long time ago, but that number seems interesting…

Revelation 9:15: “And the four angels, who had been prepared for the hour and day and month and year, were released, so that they would kill a third of mankind.”

Revelation 9:18: “By these three plagues a third of mankind was killed, by the fire and smoke and sulfur coming out of their mouths.”

This may not mean anything.

(We'll pick up in Episode 1, Part 4 due to Tumblr's 30 images-per-post limit.)

[leomonae]

I've been thinking about how differing perspectives for characters can lead to some very unexpected, yet in retrospect entirely reasonable, outcomes. Particularly in regard to the Araj and Astarion conversation.

So when Araj wants him to bite her, you can either shut her down immediately when Astarion refuses, or say you're surprised he's not more interested in the idea, right? Which... yeah, my Tav said that one because Astarion is usually all about acquiring more power and this seemed like a weird thing for him to object to. They were curious, really, nothing more. But then Astarion starts getting upset, characterises it as you trading him for some potion, and then you get a choice again.

Tell him to do it, tell him he shouldn't do it since he doesn't want to, or tell him (paraphrasing from memory) "well, the potion seems like it could be useful, but it's up to you".

And if you pick that last one, he is going to break up with you that night.

(okay yes for accuracy's sake I'll mention that there is precisely *one* way I found to navigate the following conversation so he doesn't break up with you, but it's not at all obvious, it's not a result of the profuse apologising and grovelling lines you can choose, and IIRC it required picking a line my Tav would never say because it wasn't all that sensitive or respectful in itself)

And the thing is, from Astarion's point of view, breaking up with you then is entirely reasonable! He feels used, like what he wants doesn't matter and you pushed him for your own benefit, because you basically just tripped right over a massive trigger of his! To him, you have at the very least been... careless, with him. More likely, you knew exactly what you were doing and never truly cared about what he wanted at all, because why would he ever think otherwise when nobody else ever cared? "You're the only one", he can tell you later on in Act 3. Except here, in this possible timeline where you very mildly encouraged him to go ahead, you just... weren't.

Astarion has just realised he wants something better for himself, that he can't keep on like this, and you've quite simply never given him any reason to think you might be that kind of better. Why would he have any motivation to go giving you any more chances at this point? You're just like everyone else when it comes to what you want and value from him, after all; you just proved it to him, whatever pretty words might now be coming out of your mouth to try and manipulate him into giving you what you want again. And again, and again, and again.

But that's not necessarily the case, of course.

See, I actually picked that "sounds useful but up to you" option, my first time through the conversation. And the reason for that? It was because from my Tav's perspective, that was the most respectful way to handle the situation. Especially as a follower of Ilmater; to my Tav's mind, it was about giving Astarion all the relevant info to weigh up the decision he thought was best, where he could choose to sacrifice a little for everyone's benefit. But if instead he had a reason like oh, say, massive backstory trauma which meant agreeing would be harmful to him, he could and should freely decline. And either way, Tav fully intended to respect and support his decision. To continue treating Astarion like the competent adult he clearly is (Insight check: critical failure).

But Tav wasn't yet aware of that whole "I didn't know how to say no!" aspect which he would later go on to yell as he was ending their relationship. Tav had no way of understanding him well enough yet to successfully navigate the hidden minefield that's Astarion's past and how it has affected him. And things just... never lined up right for Astarion to trust Tav enough to explain any of this, until he already felt like he'd been used and ignored and betrayed. So that was simply the end of things for them, Tav's good intentions be damned (until I reloaded, of course!).

And I kind of love how real it all felt. It can be a scary thing, trying to have a relationship with someone where it's so easy to misstep and their trust has been broken so many times before that they have very little benefit of the doubt left to offer you, after all. It really... drove home for me just how much of a gift it is, when Astarion chooses to give Tav a real chance. When he's able to bring himself to trust Tav enough to try and have a real relationship together; to be honest with them about how he can't continue to provide the one thing he believes he has to offer anyone, at this point in time. That's just... he is so, so damn brave for opening himself up like that to what must seem like all but inevitable rejection and scorn.

And I adore every little bit of how messy and complicated and believable he and the relationship with him both are. They're nothing at all like you expect, getting into things at the start; it's lovely to get to take the journey alongside your character, constantly finding yourself re-evaluating everything you're being presented with by and about him, and slowly coming to realise that something truly special lies beneath.

[renae-the-turtle]

I saw your trolls au where Branch raises Coooer and I wanted to know.......could you please info dump on it??? I'm all ears! :3

OK first of all I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this, it's been literal months lol

I'd be happy to infodump about it, and I finally have time!!!

Putting it under the cut just in case this gets really long lol

So I got the idea for this AU because of a fanart I saw on pinterest. It seemed to be concept art for a Broppy au with the pairing trope of kindergarten teacher × single parent, with Poppy as the teacher, obviously, since that's canon, and Branch as the single parent. I couldn't tell who the kid under Branch's arm was, and assumed it was an OC (I later figured out it was probably Keith from the TV show).

But this made me think about how I would do such an AU, because I like to try and avoid using OCs in fanfiction, especially for any major role in the story. It's just more fun to think about which canon characters, no matter how minor, could fill the roles I need.

Anyway, somehow I came to the conclusion that I would take one of the main cast from the first movie and de-age them. At first I considered Biggie for some reason, but then I realized that Cooper already has a very childlike personality, so he's easier to imagine as a child... and then I recalled his backstory that was revealed in the second movie...

See, Cooper's egg fell from the sky and landed amongst the pop trolls, and I get the distinct impression that this was after the escape from the Troll Tree, both because of the forest-looking background in the flashback, and just sorta from the way Cooper tells the story. And since the first movie takes place on the twentieth anniversary of their escape from the Bergens, this means that Cooper is less than 20 years old, and is therefore a teenager in the first movie. Which honestly makes so much sense for how he acts.

I also headcanon that he as ADHD, though. With the way he frequently seems to space out and miss parts of conversations, or just doesn't follow along with what someone said, the way he makes weird connections between what's going on and something random... and he's pretty easily distracted... as someone who actually has ADHD, it seems pretty obvious once I thought to look for it! And I will be writing this headcanon into my comic.

I might as well get into the little bit of plot I've got for the movies, though it's just vague ideas, really.

For the first movie, I'm actually not certain what I'm gonna do... should Cooper be one of the ones taken or not? It would make Branch way more fired up to go get them back, and just generally more emotional and snappy throughout the whole thing, but on the other hand I've still gotta get through how actually raising Cooper changes Branch... like, technically the point of this is to force him to interact with Poppy more prior to canon events because she's Cooper's teacher lol. So idk about the first movie.

But the second one! Branch is either more or less paranoid and I'm not sure which is better lol, but he'll be a lot more prepared before leaving with Poppy on her impulsive quest, because he's gotta make sure his son is taken care of while he's gone. Cooper is only 5 and obviously isn't gonna come with them, that'd be stupid!!! ...unfortunately for Branch, Cooper listened in on the meeting, and snuck out of bed to follow his dad, heard him talking to Poppy, and since he both doesn't want his dad to leave him (trauma from the first movie????) and wants to find out where he came from... Cooper sneaks onto the balloon lol. Biggie might not even come with them, idk. Or maybe I'd have DJ Suki come with just cuz I like her and it's a shame she wasn't in the second and third movies. Idk.

Anyway this means I get to draw baby Prince D as well!!! Cooper doesn't get to the funk trolls before Branch and Poppy because he's traveling with them! The King and Queen haven't been searching for as long as in canon, and oooo boy there's gonna be drama lol. Because technically the funk trolls have a right to keep Cooper??? And Cooper isn't an adult or mostly-adult who can make his own decisions about where to live??? I mean, at the time, Cooper and D are just excited to meet each other. And there's a rock apocalypse to stop. And Cooper wasn't supposed to be along in the first place because this quest is no place for a small child.

Anyway yeah, the second movie is gonna be so fun to write with an adhd five year old along for the ride lol.

Third movie, Cooper might not even be in it, or he might take the place of Tiny, idk yet. I think I'm leaning more towards Cooper staying with the funk trolls for the duration of the movie events as some sort of split custody thing so Cooper can get to know his twin and bio parents??? But. This means that Bruce is not the only Brozone member to have become a dad during the split. ;3

And I think it'd be so funny if Branch and Poppy don't mention Cooper, or at least don't refer to him as Branch's son, until they get to Vacay Island, and Bruce mentions how becoming a father really changed him, and Branch can say something like, yeah, I know what you mean. And John Dory gets a double shock because what???? Spru– Bruce is a father??? And SO IS BRANCH???? WHAT??? Hahahahahaha!!!! It's gonna be hilarious >:3

Anyway, cue Branch and Bruce gushing over their kids, Branch showing photos of Cooper, someone asking if/implying that Cooper is Branch and Poppy's kid, the silly flustered denials because they may be dating but they are NOT ready to have that talk yet lol (it's an understandable assumption tho bc Poppy and Cooper are a similar shade of pink and Cooper does have that bright blue hair and at this point Branch and Poppy are obviously together so???)

OK so that was in fact a long rant as I expected, hope you enjoyed, and thanks for the ask!! I won't be working on the comic until after Christmas because it's gift-making time and I have. Two months. To make at least 6 presents. Aaahhh.

[hannawinchester03]

IN ANOTHER GALAXY..

This is a regular imagine, as if you're part of the guardians of the galaxy! Mostly backstory but pt2 coming soon with more romantic and erotic scenes for sure!

Enjoy!

Here is the part 2!

Chapter contains: some flirtation, baby groot (obviously) , mom figure, death, family loss, drunk father, childhood trauma, and sarcasm

Word count: 1587

The year was 1989, Chicago Illinois. (Y/N) was 9 years old, she already was learning how to drive. "You gotta know your way around, who knows when you'll get lost, you always gotta find your way home." Her dad always told her, meaning this meant learning to drive earlier than most people and take care of what needed to be done.

(Y/N) didn't have much of a childhood, grew up faster than she would have liked but hey stuff happens.

It was a casual Friday night for (Y/N) same routine as usual, her dad goes out drinking and partying it up with his friends at the local bar. (Y/N) was used to it by now, it's been 3 years since her aunt passed away, her aunt was like a mother to her, her real mother passed away in child birth, but her dying wish was that her sister took care of (Y/N) like she was her own. Which she did, she took care of (Y/N) while her father drank to get over her mothers passing, but to them it seems he has never gotten over it, probably didn't help the fact that (Y/N) looked exactly like her mother.

(Y/N) remembers her aunt telling her stories of how the two sisters were thick as thieves together, always going out exploring the abandon houses, going to the woods, running through malls together when they were younger, even doing normal things like spending time with each other, like listening to music while they watched their parents dance. (Y/N) always wished that she had a sister or another sibling to play with and share memories with like her mother and aunt did.

"Your mom always wanted to have twins, she'd tell us she has a feeling that you were gonna be a twin, like Luke and leia.." (Y/N) was always told which made her sad at times that she was her mothers one and only child. There was a lot on the 9 year olds shoulders to say the least. (Y/N) always had vivid dreams of what is would be like to in space watching down on the world, making sure every child didn't need to go through what she did, it could have been much worse she always thought but the last 3 years for sure proved her wrong. It was worse, eating only once a week or not for weeks at a time.

It was around 10 pm on Friday, she was waiting for the house phone to ring, and hear the same words she heard every Friday night, the way the bartender would always call her asking to pick up her dad or call him a cab, they had little to no money so the only option was to learn to drive and pick him up herself. Little 9 year old (Y/N) who could barely see over the steering wheel driving at night listening to "my sweet lord- by George Harrison" was the last thing she remembered of her past life.

That was 15 years ago, "I really wanna see you, I really wanna be with you.." was the last thing she heard from the radio before the disaster struck, she watched as a child not much older then she was running through the main Street, then the child was gone only a light shinning down where they were last seen, causing (Y/N) to slam on the brakes and get out running after the light.

15 years later here she stood in the middle of platform floating the in the middle of the sky, standing next to a talking raccoon, a miniature tree that somehow talks but only could speak the three words "I am groot"and the only other person she knew of who was also from earth. A place she once knew so well and now it was just a fuzzy memory.

"Okay we gotta work fast, the others are going to meet us with the other materials. We just need that things heart.." Quill spoke as he looked around at the group mainly looking at (y/n) making her raise an eyebrow at him about to say something back but she was distracted as she heard a small. "I am groot" making her look down and smile softly as her attention was then quickly pulled away as rocket spoke up translating for them. "He says '(y/n) knows what she's doing' he's right, she wasn't born yesterday..like some people." Rocket stated as he lightly nudged (y/n) leg and gave her a small wink with the wrong eye as usual making her chuckle.

Quill rolled his eyes and was about to speak up but quickly got interrupted by the smaller aliens started bursting through a door running in their direction, He quickly stood in position in front of (y/n) to protect her making her roll her eyes as she moves around him grabbing groot propping him up on her shoulder so he wouldn't get stepped on as she held up the gun rocket had given her quickly shooting as many aliens as she could, as she reloaded she took over watching as the others took turns killing the monsters as they seems to keep coming.

"Look out, here comes the big one!" Quill shouted as he was reloading his weapon, (y/n) watched as an alien got to close to him so she quickly shot it and turned her attention to the bigger alien, she couldn't help but stare as it was almost double the side of the other aliens taking a step back as she focused on the multiple arms and hands the monster has, and how it had multiple eyes, she couldn't help but think about how she got into the situation.

"(y/n) just distract it! Whatever you do don't shoot its heart." Rocket called out as (y/n) nodded quickly running towards one of the higher platforms standing on top of it watching as it tried to grab her, shooting its hands away every-time watching as it stumbled back and quill got behind it shooting its head making the monster stumble back falling onto its back crying out in pain.

(y/n) watched as rocket threw a shock wave close to it stunning the alien so it would be in place for a minute or two, she nodded her head at rocket as she jumped down off the platform knowing the plan from here. She got out the laser that rocket has gived to her, she always though it looked kind of like a light saber, but always thought to herself since no one's from earth and they'll know what Star Wars is, she always told herself.

She got next to the beast and sliced clean across the aliens torso watching as it stopped breathing from the clean cut she had made, she watched as rocket climbed on top of the beast slicing its flesh and reached his hand in ripping out the heart. (y/n) couldn't help but stumble backwards as she could smelt a awful smell coming from monster as rocket held the heart up in the air.

(y/n)'s eyes lit up a bit as she now was able to see the heart, the thing they were going after. She could help but stare at it as it looked breath taking, it looked like a solid chunk of gold making her eyebrow go up as rocked stood up holding it proudly. "Great now we have the final part, let's go the others are probably already there." Rocket stated as he began walking back to the ship.

(y/n) let out a small huff still shocked, not that they had killed the monsters, she's used to that by now, considering she's been around it for the last 15 years. She snapped out of her thoughts as she still felt groot on the shoulder playing with some of her hair making her glance down at him.

"I am groot". He hummed out making her chuckle softly and toss some hair over his small head. "Maybe you need to grow out some hair. A nice green to brighten you up." she said back to the small plant making him smile and reply with a simple nod.

"I don't understand how you understand him.. doesn't it freak you out? A talking tree." Quill spoke up as he followed next to (y/n), she let out a small chuckle as groot continued to play with her hair wrapping small vines around her hair and she shrugged. "I mean he's still a person, he talks and has feelings why would it freak me out.." She stated back.

"Well maybe because you're from earth, how is this all normal to you." Quill responded as he walked up onto the space ships loading ramp. "Maybe it's because i wasn't born yesterday, after 15 years you learn to accept everything." She says as she followed behind him, once on the ship she sets groot down and smiles softly at him.

"We're in another galaxy, nothing surprises me anymore Peter." (y/n) states as she passed by quill heading to the main control room to meet up with rocket. "It's Star lord!" He cries out behind (y/n) making her and rocket laugh as they settle into their seats buckling up and (y/n) hums happily as groot comes and sit on her lap for the ride.

Hope y’all enjoyed, please feel free to leave comments, like and share with your friends!

I’m always open for suggestions or ideas so feel free to comment!

[randomfandomlov3]

Price of love (Chapter 7)

Warnings: Disregard of life. Violence. HYDRA brainwashing. Trauma/backstory. Feeling of inadequacy. Let me know if i missed any.

Note: Thank you for reading! <3

Word Count~ 3297

“Hey…” You said as you entered his office. “I think I want to stay. My vacation taught me a lot about myself, and how to deal with things, so I think I am ready to return full-time. To continue counteracting the red.” Fury didn’t smile often and there were very few people who could make him, but you made him smile.

“You know that you don’t have to counteract anything, but I am glad that you are doing better. I missed your sunshine presence.” You couldn’t shake the guilt that easily but hearing that you were missed warmed your heart. You and Fury continued to discuss how you wanted to come back onto missions, if you wanted to keep leading a team, or if you would just rather work with another team. Your first scheduled mission started tomorrow, early. You never liked getting up early for missions, but it still happened from time to time.

The next morning you left a note on your door to explain your absence. With the fact that you are scheduled to be back in approximately a day. You headed down to the weapons room and packed what you thought would be needed. Then you walked through the silent halls down to the jet bay. Being the first one there you started to do the jobs that usually the mission leader would do.

Slowly the rest of the team arrived and piled on the jet. “Great, which one of us has to be paired with missing piece?” one of the other agents asked the mission leader. Your heart sank as you heard the title you had tried to get rid of for years. She was not who you were anymore, you were better than that.

With a laugh, the mission leader replied, “No one, just because Fury told us to take her, doesn’t that we had to treat her the same. And if she doesn’t return, oops… oh well.” The words crushed you as you realized your fellow agents didn’t have your back if something went wrong. Luckily, you had butt-dialled Bucky and got his voicemail, then Fury would have proof of the words these agents said, but none of that mattered if you didn’t survive this mission.

As the jet landed everyone was given a partner, but you. Then everyone was given their task. Yours was unnecessary and dangerous. This was supposed to be an extraction mission, to rescue some people who had been captured by HYDRA. You were tasked with going to their control room and downloading as much information as you could. They didn’t care that this wasn’t an abandoned base, nor did they have enough people to clear the base, that mission was scheduled for later.

“Just get in and out, that’s all you have to do.” You whispered to yourself as you turned invisible, although you knew it was pointless because HYDRA had ways to detect invisible things. Still, this was the directive given, so you were determined to follow it. Maybe after that, you would go back to leading your own team. If you survived that is.

As soon as you entered the correct room the lights went out, and just as your vision was adjusting everything went dark.

“Steve, I’m telling you, I’m worried. We need to go out there and find her. Her team is putting her in danger.” Bucky paced through the kitchen as Steve made some coffee. Waking up to a voicemail hearing that the agents you were on a mission with were deliberately putting you in danger, caused him to panic, he just started to get you back.

“You need to have faith that these agents will be smart, and you need to have faith in your girl, she has always been excellent on missions, even alone.” Steve understood his best friend’s concern, but he knew that they had to be rational about things.

With a huff, Bucky made his way down to the training room to get out his worries. Natasha was already training when Bucky stormed in. “Woah, what’s got you so stressed?” She knows that he rarely shows how he is truly feeling.

“Steve says that I need to trust that things will be okay but the agent’s on Moonlight’s mission, are willingly putting her in danger. This is her first mission since the one she got shot on, what if something happens to her.” Bucky exhaled sitting down. He then played Nat the voicemail. Natasha’s breath hitched, hearing how flippantly they were talking about her friend’s life.

“What do you say to joining me on the mission, to clear out that HYDRA facility? It was scheduled to leave when the other team got back, but I think that the sooner we leave the better. How does that sound?” Natasha packed up her bag and started to send a message. All of the agents on the mission were to be ready down in the jet bay by no later than one o’clock. The determination on Bucky’s face told her everything she needed to know. She gave him the same information she told the other agents, and they parted ways to get ready.

Bucky paced the jet bay, he had been ready for hours, having prepped the jet and everything else for this mission. “Hold on Moonlight, I’m coming to find you.” He whispered to himself. “I can’t lose you; I just got you back.” Natasha interrupted his rambling by setting her bag down beside him.

“We’ll find her, I promise.” She put a reassuring hand on her friend’s shoulder. “She’s strong, she’ll be alright.” She was not only trying to convince Bucky but also herself.

The entire flight over, Bucky was tense, worried about what awaited them at the HYDRA base. Would he even be able to find you within his past?

Natasha gave out the instructions and the pairings. She and Bucky were searching for you, that was their directive. “Let’s go find our girl,” Nat said with hope lacing her tone.

First, they checked in with the team that you came with, but none of them had seen you since you went off your own direction. As they snuck through the facility, Natasha felt a familiar chill, that she hadn’t felt in a while.

“We need to be careful,” Nat whispered with a hunch about that feeling. Bucky gave her a nod before refocusing on his surroundings. Her feeling didn’t prepare her for what was about to happen though. A strong force that felt like a foot, collided with Nat’s back and she stumbled forward. Bucky readied his knife as he tried to help steady Natasha. “No, it’s her, we can’t hurt her. We have to be careful.” Nat exclaimed as she turned trying to remember the signs of where you might be. The chill started to fade, and Natasha realized that you weren’t after them, someone else was your target. She ran after the fading chill and Bucky followed her.

“Where are we going?” Bucky asked matching her pace. He was very confused as to what was going on, why would you attack Nat?

“We have to find out who her target is. I’m following her chill, but it’s fading faster than usual.” Nat said as they fought their way through a group of HYDRA agents. She had promised that they would never get you again. One of the agents uses her moment of guilt, to surprise her. Natasha stunned him with her widow’s bite, but not before the agent caught her side with his knife. Luckily, it wasn’t a deep cut. As she got up, Bucky finished off the last of the other agents. There was just a trace of where you went left, as fast as she could manage, Nat took off towards you.

You were heading toward the entrance, and while Nat had hopes that you were just trying to escape, she knew that was not the truth. As she exited the building, she saw you standing talking to the agents you came on this mission with. Bucky was about to shout your name, but Natasha stopped him. “She’s not herself right now, and we don’t want to put anyone in unnecessary danger.” She whispered creeping closer to you.

Your first mission was to recover the people who were rescued by the extraction team. HYDRA had big plans for them. The other agents were less than pleased to see that you returned, but what they didn’t know was the fate that they had hoped you would meet, was the one you were directed to give to them. You pulled a knife out of one of your pockets, hiding it until you had them right where you wanted them.

“Watch out!” Nat shouted knowing she wouldn’t get there in time to protect them. That was enough to direct the attention away from the group and onto Natasha, and Bucky. You glanced at Bucky before locking your blank eyes on Natasha. “I’m going to need you to restrain her, James. You are the one person here she won’t risk hurting.”

His face paled with confusion. How did Natasha know that, was there more here than she was letting on? But Bucky did as he was told, as you charged toward Natasha, Bucky intercepted. You tried turning invisible in hopes to trick him, but he held you tightly. After a few minutes, you stopped thrashing about like you had been deactivated.

Natasha let out a sigh as she walked over to Bucky. “The worst should be over now.” She then spoke some words in Russian, but Bucky was too confused to comprehend what she was saying. As she finished you came to, with a panicked look on your face. You looked up to see Bucky holding you, and you couldn’t hold back your tears. You felt disgraceful crying on the battlefield, but if what you think just happened, happened, crying is the least of your problems. Still not understanding exactly what was going on, but having a hunch that HYDRA had taken control, Bucky pulled you into his chest so you could calm down.

 “I’m sorry, I tried, but I guess I’m not strong enough. I failed, Habiba.” You sobbed out feeling like those years of practice went down the drain.

“You didn’t fail, and you are strong enough, but they were stronger this time. We will keep working on things until I can see if Shuri can give us a hand one more time.” Natasha glanced at Bucky hoping that he was understanding everything.

What happened next was something that almost no one there was expecting. The rest of the Avengers arrived, led by none other than Nick Fury himself. “Mr. Barnes, can I ask that you sit the rest of this mission out, to watch her?” The look in his eye told Bucky that Fury needed him to protect you like you were very important to him, rather than you might have been a threat. Bucky gave him a strong nod before picking you up and carrying you to the jet Fury had brought.

“It’s okay, Doll. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” You got up to pace when he set you down, thinking about whether you should tell him about your past now or wait until later. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did the other agents call you missing piece? And does it have to do with your time in HYDRA?” You took a deep breath to steady yourself.

“Well, I guess you do deserve to know me and that means my past too.” You took a deep breath before turning to face Bucky. “Let’s start at the very beginning. My dad met my mom after my older brother was born but before me or my baby sister. My brother always held a little bit of caution because he didn’t know this man, even though they tried insisting that he was his stepdad. But that never became important.” You exhaled a laugh.

“Anyway, my father was a Hydra officer when they met, it took a while, but my mom eventually learned what he did and even assisted him when he needed it. However, shortly before my little sister was born, they decided that they wanted out of that life. My mother was in blissful ignorance about the gravity of that decision, and my father ensured she stayed that way. He knew that there was no plausible way for him to leave HYDRA without it being taken down, which at the time seemed like an impossible task. But he also knew that his family would never be safe either.” You sat down next to Bucky.

“So he made a decision, one that changed my life, one that I wish he wouldn’t have made. When my siblings and I were young we took sleepy time medicine as my father called it, because he knew it would not be safe for us to potentially wake up in the middle of the night, when he had to do business. I am pretty sure he slipped my mom some in her bedtime tea though most of the time too. I remember the night of the incident perfectly. I think mainly because I have had to recall it so many times in therapy. My baby sister had been put to bed after her bottle and my older brother drank his juice then went to bed. I had drunk mine, but as I was lying in bed, I heard my father talking to my mom. She asked what she could do to help with the plan, but he insisted that she should go have a bath and that she should take her tea to relax since us kids were already in bed.” Your breathing started to shake as you tried to continue.

“What he did next haunts me to this day. He doused the house, every inch of floor, and every person in gasoline.” Bucky let out an involuntary gasp at your words. “I can still sometimes feel and smell it on myself. There were only four bodies retrieved, but they assumed for a while it was because the ignition point was in my bedroom that there was just no body left to be found. In reality, I ran, I tried to wake everyone up when I found out what he was doing but no one would wake. So I ran. I just about slipped and if I had I still wonder if I would have gotten out in time. I had to strip to get out of my room because all of our pyjamas had chips that set off an alarm if they left the bedroom.”

A shiver shook you as you gathered your thoughts. “My room was chosen as the ignition point because my father knew that I was the only one who sometimes woke up during the effects of the medicine. So not only I was running to god knows where I still cannot remember that detail, I was doing so in nothing but my underwear. Before I got to my destination, I was suddenly unconscious. When I woke up, I was in a HYDRA base.” Bucky’s hand covered his mouth as he tried to comprehend what you had gone through.

“The officer who was there greeted me by saying, ‘Ah, subject 219 you have grown since we last got to see you. Your father tried to keep you away from us, but we knew that he would fail. He was weak, and so was the rest of your family. Oh but you, you are something special.’ I didn’t understand what any of that meant at the time. I later learned that my mother agreed to be experimented on while pregnant with me. She didn’t show any signs of the experiment, so they figured that I had taken it on myself. I didn’t start showing signs of anything strange until that traumatic moment. I’ll be honest I still don’t understand the logistics of it. The main gift that I was given was invisibility. I can make myself and anything I have on me or am holding unable to be seen by any living or man-made creation, however as you might have noticed with Nat tracking me, I make the air around me colder.” Bucky wrapped his arms around you instinctually.

“My time at HYDRA was mostly used to assist their greatest asset, which is why, I’m assuming Nat instructed you to restrain me. She, missing piece, had been programmed to never be able to inflict harm upon the winter soldier.” His grip involuntarily tightened.

“I was rescued by Fury, about 2 years later, and I lived with him at shield headquarters until I became the head of my own team. But for the first few years, Fury had to fight the law in order for me to be allowed to stay there and not be sent to a juvenile detention center. Some members of the government tried to explain that I was really young when it happened so I wouldn’t have been capable of making the distinction between right and wrong, but that was proved false. I somehow had an impeccable sense of morality. Also the severity of the incident, they knew it was no accident. I don’t remember the initial story that Fury came up with for me, but I was eventually forced to do community work and go to court-mandated therapy, so that, to quote, ‘I never did something like that again.’ Fury has tried to get that expunged from my record, but if you dig far enough it still says that I was responsible.” You buried your face into Bucky’s chest to calm your shaking.

“Sometimes I end up in my old neighbourhood for missions, and I still hear people talking about my family, and how I should have been forced to meet the same fate, even though the death penalty was never used on children. If I am ever in public, I worry that people are going to recognize me as that child even though I look almost nothing like I did back then. That child feels like a whole different person. But my court-mandated therapy is why we met, well, indirectly. I finished serving my sentence, and I have kept up with therapy, but with a therapist who actually cares about the person they are working with. I still go by the other office though to make sure everyone is alright before heading into that room because there were a few sessions that I left and I considered ending it, but Fury reminded me that there is more to life than the past.” Bucky’s heart ached for you and the pain you had been through.

“He helped me find another therapist, and I saw them simultaneously because the government only recognized one therapist for the sentence. The way she asked me questions not only felt like an interrogation but also made me feel like I was the one at fault. That is one of the main reasons people have to do special training to interrogate children. But it shouldn’t have been an interrogation.” The tears you were trying to hold back started to wet his shirt.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he rubbed your back. Bucky couldn’t believe that someone so happy and sweet had such a terrible past. He presses his lips to your head trying to figure out what to say in a moment like that. “You don’t have to say anything, I get that this is a lot of information.” You reassured him. Being that vulnerable took a lot out of you, so you curled deeper into him to rest for a little while. “Just rest, Doll. You are safe with me.”

Epilogue

[gomzdrawfr]

i love yr oc sm aaaaa!! It makes me want to make my own oc too but im not that creative…i could write a lil but I can’t come up with cool backstories that i see from a lot of people, do you have any advice on this?

also Im gonna pretend the latest comic you did didn’t exist~

🫖

Hi 🫖!! Thank you for the ask and showing your love for my bbg Raven(im gonna assume its her since my other oc Fish is basically non-existent PFTTT) hehe 💕

I am probably not the best person to answer you this because funny enough, Raven is my first ever OC XD so my experience with OC creation is kinda just…based on vibes haha but I’ll offer a few of my stories

Its majorly thanks to my friend bressy when it comes to making Raven, although she doesn’t post her OC Ava as much now we do a lot of things behind the scenes!

If im going to be honest, my advice will always be just do it, you have to start somewhere and then roll the snow ball down the hill!

You might not believe this but my Raven initially was just suppose to be a regular military private with zero background and stuff and boi her first sketches were terrible XD but hey! At least I had a name and a purpose— which is im gonna ship her with Price.

Everything else comes afterwards! Slowly but surely, I didn’t start focusing on her until very much later when im more active in the cod active, which speaking of is also great because the community (albeit less) do have some people who are willing to talk about OCs, which can often help build your stories!

In my case I talked about Raven with Bressy a lot :3

Not sure if this count as an advice but in my case, Raven is like…a mash-up of a few characters that I love! So taking inspiration from your fav shows, characters and movies can help out. Hell, my Raven’s blueprint follows Ghost HAHA (quiet, deadly, silent, unhinged you name it)

I guess Raven’s character is based on my own experience as well, like Raven has a few pieces of me inside :3 maybe your oc can be an extension of yourself, something you wish you can have irl but unable to achieve it(god do I wish I know how to use knifes HAHA) or being the opposite

Oh yeah, dramatify everything you can think of HAHA and also trauma helps (not even kidding)

Like if we combine the “opposite” thing and making it dramatic, the prime example from my case would be: hey! Im a huge flower enthusiast, I love them

And then I turn it into the extreme in Raven, giving her anthophonia(fear of flowers) and then make up a traumatic backstory for it(got tortured in an abandoned kindergarten with sunflower wallpapers which manifested as generalised fear towards anything that resembles flowers of sorts)

I think what matters most is to have fun. Your oc doesn’t have to be extremely badass or complicated backstory! There’s absolutely no shame in creating one for the sake of your indulgence (like to ship it with any of the 141, yum)

And OC creation takes time, don’t rush the good stuff yk, heck I didn’t give Raven a full name until months later :)

I hope my answer can hopefully help you out a bit and possibly motivate you to make your own oc albeit its shite advices HAHAHA if you do make one though feel free to share :] I always love seeing other people’s OCs 🫶🏻

Regarding you ignoring Raven’s death…heh you do you because I have a part two incoming….👁️

Have a good day/night! Muahahahahaa

[viridiave]

Octopath but make it Pokemon - Part 2 Electric boogaloo

special thanks to @musical-mastermind for the suggestions in the comments - I had no idea what to do for Theri and H’aanit lmao

>>>

So the gang make it out of Cobbleston after saying goodbye to Olberic's definitely-not-son Philip and end up stopping over in Sunshade, and nobody has a good time, because it's Sunshade Olberic's dad mode activated as soon as he saw seedy characters so he sticks next to Tressa and Kit the entire way While everyone else is looking around the trio spot a dancer from the tavern looking very much like she wants to murder someone cuz she's just muttering by herself suspiciously by a brazier like jesus Prim at least hide yourself a lil' better Olberic being the concerned citizen that he is asks about her situation and then the backstory cutscene happens He ends up covering Tressa and Kit's ears for half of it But the trio do offer to help Primrose look for the bastard crow so off to the Catacombs they go They come out the other side and oh SHIT Helginish has Primrose's best friend hostage And that's how Tressa and Kit witness their first murder. Olberic couldn't really cover their eyes for that one. This is also how Tressa and Kit become complicit IN murder for the first time, because really who the hell could blame Primrose THAT GUY WAS A B AS T A RD- It also turns out that the tavern Primrose works for doubles as a very rundown gym no one wants to challenge, so one extremely depressing burial for Yusufa later she shuffles through Helginish's pockets for the map and the gym badge and tosses it towards Kit Before she could stalk off on her own though they offer to let her travel with them, and she just sighs before challenging Kit to see if they're really up for it It being murder After a VERY grueling battle with Yusufa's Stenee and her million dancing moves as well as Prim's own stubborn as hell Azelhart-sanctioned Sand Rush Pupitar Kit finally wins and Primrose agrees to travel with them They had an EXTREMELY hard time trying to explain to Cyrus and Ophilia where all the blood and Kit's and Tressa's newfound trauma came from '…say, I hear Clearbrook has great fish cuisine-' 'sounds great let's go-' So they book it to Clearbrook and the change in scenery give Kit and Tressa much needed stress relief which may or may not have involved a water fight They suddenly notice that this one blonde guy looks like he's thinking really hard about something so Kit and Cyrus ask about it and to their collective relief they don't need to murder anyone Nobody tell them about Chapter 3 So they help out this Alfyn guy while Ophilia helps Tressa recuperate with fish cakes and church-sanctioned therapy back in the village They shive a snake, get the poison, and book it back to Alfyn's best friend's little sister, and everyone is a-okay They have a party in the tavern afterwards to celebrate this and when Kit steps out to get some air he accidentally walks in on what's probably the single most homoerotic exchange he's seen in his life when he finds Alfyn and Zeph on the bridge He REALLY couldn't look Alfyn in the eye when the apothecary challenged him the next morning for one last battle as the gym leader of Clearbrook so he can pass it on to Zeph It was hard to feel apologetic when Alfyn's Breloom kept using status moves And so did the rest of his Pokemon- One extremely grueling battle later they now have a very jolly doctor and it's off to Bolderfall they go To everyone's surprise Kit is actually very familiar with the place, so they're pretty comfortable letting him go off on his own Where he then meets a shady-looking gremlin at the foot of the stairway to Ravus manor, and when he asks him what he's doing he just tells him straight-up that he's about to raid it for treasure Kit's better judgment REALLY should have kicked in at that moment when there's literally guards outside But neither he and the thief really know how they both ended up helping each other walk around the mansion, and neither of them are about to start questioning this odd partnership Neither of them were gonna last very long without getting caught either so they face off against a somewhat familiar butler guy named Heathcote Who then proceeded to give Therion the most mcGuffin bangle to ever bangle, that Therion's extremely crafty Ninetales somehow can't burn its way through Now they're about to walk out of Bolderfall but everyone else catches them in the act when they went to see the sights and Tressa is immediately not cool with the thief 'Sorry, who's this... Sassy lost child?' 'My name is Tressa and I'll kick your ass in the name of commerce' They don't end up battling but Kit and Therion definitely do when Therion flashes the badge on them It turned out that Therion somehow has access to things like Choice Scarves and Life Orbs and Kit couldn't focus what with Tressa calculating the cost of each item in real time Therion is also not above Serene Grace Togekiss hacks, nor is he above Prankster Whimsicott strats Kit does eventually win this fight though and they go their separate ways Or so they think, because the group has since caught Therion trailing behind them on their way to S'waarki Where apparently some monster's been running around rampant and they meet a hunter lady who could only be halfway understood by both Olberic and Cyrus because what is Old English Scotty, for 500 Naturally they offer to help her out So they trek it into the forest where they find the monster that is DECIDEDLY not a Pokemon, what the ever-loving FUCK is that thing - a Ghisharma?? Sounds fake man get me outta here- They manage to kick its ass of course But nobody wants to talk about what the fuck it was they just fought, except H'aanit who is worringly used to dealing with random Eldritch horrors She offers Kit a gym battle when they get back, so they do that - and gods above H'aanit is a MERCILESS huntress who regularly employs trap strats Her Liepard is a feral thing that's very fond of using Pursuit They also learn that H'aanit uses Pokemon in the area and Kit was unfortunately horrible at dealing with Raticates that employ FEAR tactics He still wins of course but as soon as he gets his badge a Lycanroc pops out from the shadows H'aanit suspects that her master is in trouble, so she asks to tag along Naturally the group agrees, and hooray - they're a hella SIZABLE group >>> Tl;dr Primrose uses Dance and Weather Pokemon strats, Alfyn is a status condition abuser, Therion hacked the game ahead of time and got himself nifty meta competitive items, and H'aanit is a trapper who IS the meta idk how to continue this uhhhh I guess The Obsidians are the evil team and Mattias and Simeon are the Admins-

[lotus-flowerz]

hello hello I love your writings so far sobs I couldn't help but do an ask myself aa (it's my first ask ever help hwkajd) could I request perhaps gn reader that flinched away from the boys by reflex? (preferably with Diluc, Kaeya and Kazuha but you can add or remove someone if you want to!) like they were hanging out and reader was lost in thoughts and suddenly when they see in the corner of their eyes how the boys raise their arm for smth reader quickly raises their arms above their own head to protect it- how would they react and how would they comfort the reader? I hope it's not too much or if you're uncomfortable with it you can ignore it if you want to whaaaa

AHHH TY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITING! i actually do this too, some of my old friends would make fun of me for it, so i hope that my writing here is accurate >.<

i also added beidou in here, hope you don't mind, i just had to since she's my favorite character <3

TW!! FLINCHING, ANXIETY, PAST TRAUMA, MENTION OF DEATH AND INJURIES

SLIGHT INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS

KAEYA BACKSTORY SPOILERS

The cherry blossoms fell silently from the trees under which you and Kazuha were sitting. Those had remained unchanged since you and Kazuha were children. The beauty of the pink blossoms falling towards the green earth without a care.

It had remained the same through the vision hunt decree, through the war, through watching Tomo get killed by the shogun, through both of you getting injured during said fight. Kazuha's hand was burnt from Tomo's vision, and your body had a large scar running from your knee to the side of your neck from a stray bolt of lighting from Tomo's divine punishment. If not for Kazuha's determination to not lose another friend and Beidou and her crew caring for you, you would be dead.

These days, although you and Kazuha both carried the same trauma, he seemed to be doing leaps and bounds better than you were. Your eyes flitted to Kazuha, who was writing poetry. The only sound that could be heard was his pen gliding across the paper, filling it with his eloquent words that always seemed to flow so smoothly.

You were deep in thought, when out of the corner of your eye you spotted something coming towards your face. Instinctively, your hands flew out to shield yourself, leaving a very confused Kazuha, who was only scratching his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.

"Dove.. did you think I was going to hurt you?"

You slowly lowered your arms, guilt washing over you.

"No! It's just- sometimes, when movements are too sudden.. I.. you know, I try to protect myself because uh.."

His eyes drifted to your scar, then looked up at your face, only to find it tilted to the ground. He put a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his, then kissing your forehead.

One hand snaked around your waist while the other traced lightly over your scar, sending shivers down your spine. You wrapped your arms around him as well, putting a little of your weight onto him.

He kissed your lips, squeezing you tight against him.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise."

"Kazuha, it's not-"

"I know it's not my fault. And I know I couldn't have prevented it. But I promise you, you're safe now."

He brought his hand up to cradle the back of your head as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you." you said, squeezing him a little tighter.

"No need to thank me. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kazuha."

You had been a part of Beidou's crew for just over a year now, after meeting her in the wharf of Liyue harbor after finally finding the courage to leave your abusive and toxic partner. You didn't have a place to stay and you were clearly distraught, so when she asked if you were okay and you immediately began to cry, she offered you to come on her ship. You trusted her, since she was the well-known captain of the Crux. After you had explained your situation, she offered you to join her crew. You agreed, and began dating her about six months after joining the Crux.

Because you had been aboard the Alcor for a year, you knew the crew was loud and prone to get drunk. You had never liked to drink, preferring to quietly sip a small glass of dandelion wine while sitting next to Beidou while she drank a few beers and talked with her crew.

It was now the one year anniversary of when you had left Liyue Harbor, and conveniently, the Alcor was anchored there for a bit for a supplies run, imports drop off, and exports pickup. While out and about with Beidou, you had seen your ex in the wharf. They were about to come and talk to you, when you had pointed them out to Beidou. Beidou had slipped her arm around your waist, glaring at your ex, who glared back and turned heel to walk away.

Now, you sipped your wine beside Beidou, deep in thought. The loud atmosphere wasn't helping your anxieties, and you couldn't get your ex's glare out of your head. You didn't even realize you were completely zoned out until Beidou raised her arm to sling it around your shoulders, after she noticed you were zoned out.

Your arms flew up to shield yourself, and you spilt wine all over the both of you. The cup clattered to the floor, but luckily no one else noticed what just happened.

Beidou's face dropped and she quickly picked up the cup, setting it back down on the table.

"Men!" she called out. "Y/n and I are turning in early tonight! Make sure you scallywags have this cleaned up by the morning!"

The crew cheered their goodnights, raising their beers to their captain and her first mate. Beidou smiled, slipped an arm around your waist, and led you back to your guys' shared quarters.

"Alright doll, what happened just now?"

She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed next to you, looking at you with a certain softness that made you melt.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my ex, and how we saw them earlier, and I couldn't get their glare out of my head.. and I left them exactly a year ago.. I don't know why I flinched away from yo-"

Beidou cut you off by taking both of your hands into hers.

"Y/n, don't say sorry! You know, your ex wouldn't stand a chance against even my weakest crew member. They will never hurt you again."

"I don't doubt that for a second," you said, a small smile growing on your face, "Thank you for taking me in, Beidou."

"No, the pleasure is all mine. I couldn't ask for a better first mate. You're safe now, okay?" she smiled, squeezing your hands.

You looked into her eyes for a moment before throwing your arms around her. She squeezed you back, kissing your head.

"C'mon, let's shower and get this wine off of us." she giggled.

You laughed. "Yeah, let's."

Kaeya had told you his backstory, but you never mentioned yours. You just weren't ready to talk about it. Your parents had never been great, you always walked on eggshells around everyone, and everyone was all too rough with you, emotionally and physically.

You had met Kaeya in the tavern one night, while trying to drink away what you were feeling. Kaeya had noticed how obliterated you were and let Diluc know he was taking you to stay at the Knights Headquarters, and would keep an eye on you. The rest was history, and now you and Kaeya had been dating for a little over a year.

Kaeya had told you his backstory on Monday. That same day later on, you had a run in with your parents at Blanche's, where they had yelled at you for deciding to become a Knight, and proceeded to pick you apart from your very core.

In turn, you had been drinking a little more than usual for the entire week. You seemed more withdrawn and just not fully there. And it all came to a head when you were laying in bed next to Kaeya.

He went to put his arm over you, a loving gesture, but your arms came up on instinct to shield yourself. He sighed loudly.

"You're scared of me."

"Oh Archons- I didn't mean to- no, I swear it isn't-"

"You've been acting all angry and cold ever since I told you about my roots. I thought you would be the one who didn't leave me after I told them."

"No, Kaeya- please, just let me explain!"

"I'm listening."

You began to hesitantly tell him about your parents. His face grew angrier and angrier every time you told him another thing your parents had done to you.

"I'll kill them. I had no idea that that happened though. I'm sorry for assuming."

"It's alright, Kaeya. I didn't even consider that you might think I was acting weird because of where your confession."

"I swear they'll never get near you again, alright? You're safe now. It's alright."

He pulled you into him, wrapping you up in his strong arms and putting his legs over yours, making you feel protected and safe.

"No one will hurt you, not on my watch. I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Kaeya. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"No need for apologies, you were gonna tell me when you were ready. Now let's get some sleep, that dandelion wine I downed earlier is starting to get to me."

You giggled, burying your head further into his chest.

"Alright. Goodnight, Kaeya."

"Night, prince/ess."

You and Diluc had been dating for a few months now, you had met when he had needed to hire a new bartender, and you volunteered your mixing skills to the Angel's Share. You had caught his eye immediately, and he had asked you out on a date soon after you began your work there.

Your ex wasn't a kind person, to say the least, so you had been hesitant to say yes. You assured Diluc that this was just because your ex was unkind to you, but you had never mentioned physical harm. You hadn't wanted to worry him.

You were sitting on the couch with Diluc, his arm slung over your shoulders while you stared into the crackling flames of the fire burning before you. Diluc wasn't paying attention, as he was reading a book in his free hand.

He raised his arm up, attempting to adjust to a more comfortable position, but you misread this. Your arms were shielding your face in an instant, and Diluc was looking at you with a shocked and concerned face that quickly morphed to anger.

"I'm going to kill him." he growled/

You lowered your arms and looked down, avoiding looking him in the eye.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"Did he hit you??"

"I, um, didn't want to worry you."

"Barbatos.. and this domestic abuser is just, what, roaming around Mondstat? No punishment for the pain he put you through?"

"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want him to come and hurt me. I also didn't want to cause any trouble."

Diluc rubbed a hand over his face, before wrapping you in a hug.

"You're safe here, alright? I will never lay a hand on you to hurt you. I won't let anyone else hurt you either, okay?"

"Thank you.." your eyes welled up with tears, "I thought you would be upset that I didn't tell you."

"No, never. It's a hard thing to talk about. If you'd like, I have connections. We can have him arrested."

"I don't want to cause trouble.."

"You won't. He won't be able to hurt anyone else this way. But we can discuss this later. Would you care for a cup of tea?"

"That'd be nice. Thanks, Diluc."

"You're welcome, angel. Tell me if anyone hurts you again, alright? I'll protect you."

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you too."

[whorefordazai]

you said there’s so much to say about dazai and his relationship with women...care to share? I’d love to hear your thoughts 👀

dazai and his relationship with women

warnings: mentions of sexual assault and sexualization

// note: a few of you wanted to hear my thoughts on it, which is surprising 😅 but sure! I’d love to talk about it, especially since it’s been on my mind for a while <3

TABLE OF CONTENTS

// scenes in the anime/manga

// port mafia backstory

// sexualization/hyper sexuality

// yozo in no longer human

// conclusion

ps. I’m sorry if this seems messy and all over the place. I have a lot of thoughts on this topic and it’s really interesting to me. If you have anything to say, I’d love to hear it !!

scenes in the anime/manga

In the manga and anime, Dazai is portrayed as a womanizer and big flirt who uses his good looks and charms to manipulate women into getting what he wants. This can be seen in multiple different occasions—such as with Higuchi, the cafe barista (although it doesn’t really work ���) and most importantly, the nurse.

It wasn’t shown in the anime, but in the manga it’s pretty clear that the author was hinting of some sort of sexual contact between Dazai and the nurse. My guess is that he seduced the nurse into giving him his phone.

“Perhaps if I’m in the mood”—I don’t think he was in the mood again lol.

Now, this is a pretty popular trait of his—using things to his advantage. Especially when it comes to flirting and sexualizing himself. He never attempts to get close with any of these women, or commits to relationships with them. Maybe he feels it wouldn’t be meaningful enough. Dazai doesn’t really do things if he finds no value in them.

port mafia backstory

As we know, Mori used Dazai’s intelligence and talents to get want he wanted and help the mafia in numerous ways. This involved killing, torturing, and other things. Dazai was taught to be strategic, efficient, and use opportunities to his advantage (just like Mori). But I feel like, along the way, there was also some sort of sexualization hidden there.

For example, when Atsushi and Kyouka started her first task at the agency to deliver this envelope, it gets delayed due to security stopping them. Kyouka’s first thought is to use her “womanly charms” and seduce the security guard to distract him and get past. She says that she learned these tactics from the Mafia.

She’s fourteen? Womanly charms?

I’m not saying it’s the most popular tactic in the Mafia besides torture/killing, but the Mafia does use its opportunities. There’s nothing morally right about the place, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Kyouka was taught about such things.

Since Dazai was Mori’s prodigy, I wouldn’t be surprised either if he learned a few tricks from him. However, Dazai does observe his surroundings so maybe he decided to utilize his good looks as advantage all on his own.

Chuuya describes Dazai as an “enemy to all women” and when they first partner up after years of not seeing each other, Chuuya threatens to give Dazai’s address to all the women’s hearts he’s left broken.

This can hint that he’s had multiple relations with women back in his Mafia days—meaning he’s been using these tactics since he was a young teen.

sexualization/hyper sexuality

Sexualization: a person’s value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics;

Sexualization is linked to sexual objectification. Obviously there are countless other ways to put this and definitions—but I think using the word “object” really fits Dazai. Early sexualization can lead to dehumanizing thoughts, which can be seen in Dazai.

Dehumanizing thoughts can lead to not caring about your well being or using your body however you’d like with barely any concern (either drugs, sex, etc). At one point in being in the Mafia, he lacked so much empathy for others and that definitely tied into having empathy for himself. To be kind to himself.

Him being manipulated into using these advantages is possible. Even though moments like these are played off as jokes, Dazai and Kyouka could’ve been exploited in such ways.

I do wanna mention hyper sexuality (that I saw in the irl Osamu Dazai when I read the book) but I’ll bring that up later.

yozo in no longer human

As I was reading the book, I noticed a lot about Yozo’s character. It is heavily implied that at a young age, he was sexually assaulted by the maids (men and women) in his house (I was unsure about that, but found out it was canon in the manga adaption by Junji Ito)

“Already by that time I had been taught a lamentable thing by the maids and menservants; I was being corrupted. I now think that to perpetrate such a thing on a small child is the ugliest, vilest, cruelest crime a human being can commit.”

“But I endured it. I even felt as if it enabled me to see one more particular aspect of human beings. I smiled in my weakness.”

— page 35

The first time I read it and processed it, I got chills. Now I’m not saying this has anything to do with bsd Dazai, but it does explain a lot of things.

“Women found me in a man who could keep a love secret.”

Due to the sexual abuse in his childhood, Yozo grew up to be a huge “lady’s man.” This caused him to be hyper sexual, practically using his charms to get whatever he wanted from women. He formed many different relationships with them (that he found no value in) just for all of them to never work out. He made the same mistakes with women over and over again (it was pretty painful watching him get hurt and hurt others so much).

It was an endless cycle of seducing women, using them for either drugs or sex, forming some kind of meaningless relationship, getting hurt, and then doing it all over again. He was stuck.

He was afraid of women.

But maybe breaking their hearts has something to do with his past trauma. In some way, it’s taking back the control and innocence he was stripped of from his childhood.

In the manga adaptation, I was able to clearly see how he treated women. Sometimes even throwing himself onto them, randomly initiating sexual contact, etc.

Yozo’s relationship with women is so incredibly sad and heartbreaking.

conclusion

It was said in this post that Dazai would never be faithful or form a real relationship with a woman unless it was someone like Oda. And I agree. Women, to Dazai, aren’t necessarily objects but they really aren’t something he needs or wants in life.

He can be nice to them, make them feel good, form relationships, but at the end of the day it’s like there’s this huge avoid of empty space between him and the “female species.” So much uncertainty and words that will never be spoken because he cannot form a bond with another human being.

All I can say, fictional or not—he was just a child who was stuck in a terrible situation.

tag list: @uwu-monster101 @14th-century-homosexual-spirit @dai-tsukki-desu @i4gumi @cross-crye @starglow-xx @ranposlover @bsdwhore @arimakii @shadyteacup @smadhuman @knjksj0301 @asthepetalsdance @rirk-ke @mushroomplantasia @pickleisrandom @3-am-depression @its-chuuya-bitch @mars-bakery-shop @dazais-belladona @ijustwantfreenetflix @fashionablyfailing12 @dazailiones @atsushisgf @coveringthebiconissue @the-wholesome-ranpo @missshrek @todorokichills

[oh-hush-its-perfect]

Alex Fierro's Introduction Full Breakdown

Okokok so. This is going to go full English-professor mode, where I'm drawing conclusions that are gonna seem a little far-fetched. That's what's fun about media analysis! I can say something is a symbol, and even if I don't have enough faith in RR's competency to know if he meant for it to be a symbol, it's still true! That being said, a lot of these choices I'm sure are intentional, either at a literal or subliminal level. Page numbers are going to be used not to assert a kind of authority or whatever— this is a Tumblr post, not an essay— but to help readers find the pages I'm referencing in case they'd like to do some digging of their own. Also, this is going to be really long. Really sorry to anyone with ADHD; I might make an audiofile of this so you can get the information without having to read the whole thing. With all that, let's get into it!

To kick off, let's talk about Alex being in the form of a cheetah when she first meets Magnus. Of course, there's the obvious impact of him seeing her but only so breifly, as well as introducing the conflict between her and the rest of Hall 19. But that could have easily been accomplished by almost any animal. The choice of a cheetah being implicated implies two qualities of Alex that will be recurrent throughout the two books she's in: 1. She has a tendency to run away, as we'll later learn when she describes how she became homeless, and 2. To Magnus, she's elusive. She can't be caught or held down. The event that shows this so transparently is how Alex refuses to define their relationship at the end of the series, despite it clearly surpassing the normal bounds of friendship.

But the cheetah isn't the animal Alex is in the form of when Magnus first gets a good look at her; she's a weasel. Weasel's bring up all kinds of connotations: ferocity, slickness, a lack of charm. When we want to describe someone as an untrustworthy person, we call them a weasel. RR had Alex take this form to play up her comrades' feeling of distrust towards her. She could be a double-crosser. But paradoxically, the up-front and vicious mannerisms of a weasel also have a transperency. She does not try appealing to her Hallmate's sense of goodwill because she doesn't have anything to gain from it. So even though there is the implication that she might be an antagonist, there's also evidence from her actions and mannerisms that she isn't. The weasel's long and skinny frame also allow for a smooth transition into Alex's actual body, which is convenient.

As Alex transforms into her usual human form, Magnus describes her as "a regular human teen, long and lanky, with a swirl of dyed green hair, black at the roots, like a plug of weeds pulled out of a lawn" (pg. 50). That simile at the end is of particular interest. Let's compare it to another time Magnus describes Alex's hair, in Ship of the Dead: "Her hair had started to grow out, the black roots making her look even more imposing, like a lion with a healthy mane" (pg. 136). By contrasting these two different examples, we can see the development of Magnus and Alex's relationship. The first time he sees her, he thinks of her hair as something nasty— note the word choice "weeds." Later on, though, he becomes more affectionate towards her, more complentary. The immedient negative reaction is less his actual impression, though, and more the reaction he expected to have based on everyone else's reaction to Alex.

Her clothes are equally as interesting; as Magnus describes it, Alex wears "battered rose high-tops, skinny lime green corduroy pants, a pink-and-green argyle sweater-vest over a white tee, and another pink cashmere sweather wrapped around the waist like a kilt" (pg. 50). Aside from the obvious fact that this outfit is a) bizzare, b) fire, and c) Alex's signature colors, which add a layer of style to what can otherwise be a somewhat boring series fashion-wise (excuse me, Blitz), the outfit reveals a crucial facet of Alex's backstory in a kind of subtle way. These are expensive clothes, like the Stella McCartney dress in Alex's room. Note the mention of fabrics (corduroy, cashmere) and patterns (argyle). These indicate wealth and status. Even the high-tops; shoes like that don't come cheap. But I'd like to return to the very first word of the section: "battered." Alex's wardrobe show-cases a proximity to wealth, but also shows that that proximity has been strained and lengthened, maybe for an extended period of time. Alex dresses like a rich person, but she isn't one. Least, not anymore.

The last word of that outfit-introduction is also of interest: "kilt." At the current moment, Magnus thinks that Alex is male. No one has indicated otherwise to him. Everyone has been referring to Alex with he/him pronouns. Samirah called Alex her "brother" (pg. 29). His first thought in seeing what he at first perceives as a guy with a jacket wrapped around the waist is That looks like a kilt. This thought tells us about Magnus: despite being open and accepting, he still has some lingering notions of gender conformity from his years in wider American society.

Magnus also indicates that the outfit "reminded me of a jester's motley, or the coloration of a venomous animal warning the whole world" (pg. 50). This is rather self-explanatory, but it's still worth noting that Magnus sees the outfit as something bizzare, strange, and even perhaps comical. This places Alex at odds with the other people Magnus has met. It also reveals that Magnus has zero fashion sense. But we already knew that.

After finishing up staring at the ensemble, Magnus finally gets around to actually looking Alex in the face. First Magnus says that he "forgot how to breathe" (pg. 50), which, yeah, relatable. This is justifed by saying that Alex has the same face as Loki, but the very same sentence that asserts that that's the case also suggests an alternative reason: Alex has "the same unearthly beauty" as her father. Here we can see the beginnings of Magnus's attraction to Alex, though at this point, he still has a lot of internalized homophobia. Though there's certainly some truth in that Magnus was unnerved by Alex's resemblance to Loki, the idea that Magnus pointed out that Alex was pretty without elaborating on that thought until about a chapter later— after he was informed that Alex was presently a girl— can tell us a lot about how Magnus perceives sex and beauty.

Of course, Alex's eyes are given special attention. She has cool eyes; what can I say? But I'd like to focus in on how Magnus here depicts Alex's heterochromia as "completely unnerving" (pg. 50). Again, let's contrast this with how he describes them after getting to know Alex a little better in Ship of the Dead. In Chapter 3, Magnus describes "[Alex's] dark brown eye and his amber eye like mismatched moons cresting the horizon" (pg. 25). Once again, this shows the development of their relationship— but this time, it's in a much more personal way. Eyes are the windows to the soul; they are culturally important and biologically important in inter-personal connections. In you look into someone's eyes, you're giving them your full attention, and you're implying a kind of closeness. The way that Magnus describes Alex's eyes in the second passage is downright intimate. At this point, he is in love with Alex, and it is clear when contrasting the two descriptions.

As my last point, I'd like to discuss Alex's first words on page: "'Point that rifle somewhere else, or I will wrap it around your neck like a bow tie'" (pg. 51). First of all, Alex saying this with a "perfect white smile" (pg. 51) on his face implies that she is used to being threatened. She is not afraid of being shot; she counters the promise of an attack with a promise of her own. This pleads the question: why is Alex accustomed to violence? What events of her past or qualities of her life have brought her to this point? The threat itself reveals Alex's trauma from being genderfluid in a society with rigid gender norms, as well as her antagonistic relationship with her father. Magnus makes a comment that Alex "might actually know how to tie a bow tie, which was kind scary arcane knowledge" (pg. 51). Like Alex's wardrobe, the idea that she may have experience in high-class fashion also implies her former status as a rich kid.

I could go on. I could break apart Alex saying "'Pleased to meet you all, I guess'" (pg. 51). There is a wealth of information in this short page span that tells us things about Alex Fierro in the present moment, quietly demonstrates things about her past, and characterizes the narrator Magnus Chase. This passage is also effective in hindsight in marking the progress of Magnus and Alex's relationship.

But I'd like to take a step back and look at not the pieces, but the whole picture. Alex Fierro gets a full page of pure description— her outfit, her face— and about a chapter of introduction. This comes after several chapters of build-up. Alex Fierro is an important character you need to keep your eyes on. Alex Fierro is emotionally significant to the main character, Magnus Chase. Alex Fierro is one of the most developed and well-rounded characters that Rick Riordan has ever written— heck, she's one of the best characters in middle-grade books period. The extended emphasis on her and her alone tells us exactly what role she's going to play in this story: she's the star.

[sniper-childe]

Hello! I’d like to share some of my notes if I were to Beta-read the most recent Archon Quest. I will be going through what worked, what could be taken out, and what could’ve been better. Note that I’m looking at this through an editor’s lens so I’m going to try NOT to change the plot we were given no matter what my opinions are about it BUT some of the said opinions may slip out.

Also, a bit of a disclaimer: I know that Genshin isn’t an actual literary work but miHoYo is known for its writers’ great storytelling and I’ve always loved their work so it really came as a surprise as to what happened to the mess that is Inazuma Act 3. So yeah.

Contains:

1. What was foreshadowed about the characters and why the payoff of their portrayals felt cheap.

a. About Kokomi and the rebellion.

b. About the Fatui, the James Bond villain wannabe.

c. About Ei and the Raiden Shogun.

2. How Chapter 2, Act 3 could have been the turning point that would have us, as the Traveler, cement our perceptions of the Archons and Gods of Celestia OR what I think the death of Signora was supposed to be but was undermined by this one tidbit.

BONUS: I wrote this before Kokomi’s story quest was released but decided to wait for it before posting. And guess what? I think Kokomi’s Story Quest works better as an Archon Quest. At least, some parts of it.

miHoYo teased us this intelligent leader of the resistance that is well-versed in the Art of War. The end of Ch2: Act 2 showed us a powerful Kokomi. So why was she sidelined all throughout the act?

I actually like the idea of the resistance asking the Fatui for aid. But miHoYo chickened out and made it so that they did it unknowingly. To which I say: how? If Kokomi was so smart she should’ve known better. I figured it was the Fatui within a single sentence, so why didn’t Kokomi?

They should’ve stuck with the concept of the underdogs – or in Kokomi’s words, the little fish – of war in an act of desperation. They could’ve shown a calculated Kokomi “making a deal with the devil” and will do anything to win the fight against the Shogunate.

In her Character Teaser, she was willing to burn the enemies’ supplies – to starve the enemy. She can be ruthless, that’s why Kokomi actively giving Delusions to her foot soldiers would have made much more sense to cause the Fatui to be involved rather than the whole “the Fatui orchestrated everything” schtick.

Which brings me to my next point: when did the Fatui turn into a James Bond villain? I hate that trope so much. It’s like the Deus Ex Machina of villainy. It’s lazy. And it doesn’t even fit the Fatui’s modus operandi.

In the prologue, the Abyss Order corrupted Dvalin and the Fatui was just there waiting to steal Barbatos’ gnosis while the Knights are distracted. Morax decided to retire one day so the Fatui swept right in and offered a test of Liyue in exchange for his gnosis.

The last two locations had their own story to tell while the Fatui was just in the background like the opportunistic antagonist that they are.

It also would have been a stronger plotline to have the already set lore – like the tenuous relationship between Watatsumi and Narukami – be the driving force of the Inazuman Civil War.

The prologue and chapter 1 also delivered what we are told we’re going to get in the Story Preview. That’s why they are satisfying. However, with chapter 2, the way it ended turned out to be more about the Fatui rather than “what do mortals see of the eternity chased after by their god.”

Sure, we got the consequences of the war in the World Quests and some of it in the second act. But making the Fatui the Big Bad in the end takes value away from the actions of the characters that are supposed to be the main feature of this chapter.

How much of the Eternity the Raiden Shogun is pursuing is directly from Ei? How much of it is its own understanding of eternity, coupled with Ei’s memories, and its own response? How much of it is the Fatui’s influence?

I have to say though, I’m fine with the puppet actually. Believe it or not. I have had kinda figured that out with the weird shifting of emotions in and out of the puppet. And the dead glowing eyes. So kudos to the design and animation team for that foreshadowing.

It was also said that the current Electro Archon lost someone dear to her and, while I didn’t think it was a twin, I did figure that the current Electro Archon wasn’t the real Electro Archon. So the whole Baal and Beelzebul backstory didn’t really surprise me. So I guess that was foreshadowed too? But my friends didn’t feel the same way so I don’t know. I’m not touching that.

But I do agree that all of the new lore got info-dumped to us by Yae rather than have us find out about them. To be honest, I would have wanted the backstory of Ei to be in her story quest rather than it be in the Archon Quest. A World Quest could work too.

I just feel like the 2.1 Archon Quest ended up cramming so many themes and subplots when it should’ve been focusing on what was promised: the darkness that is brought by their god.

They already had set up the Visions are people’s motivations/ambitions and that taking them away also takes away their agency.

Then they could’ve played with the idea of the people of Watatsumi looking up to Kokomi as their pseudo-god in-place of Orobashi and so with her actively giving Delusions could fit well in the said theme.

They could’ve made Ei and Kokomi character foils of each other and have the final showdown be about them.

And then it’ll all, of course, end up with the people of Inazuma learning how to work without their “gods” or something like that, which is the overarching theme of the whole series if you think about it.

But as I said, my opinions about the plot shouldn’t matter and I’m only here to make what was already written better.

So let’s talk about something that the puppet has done which didn’t make any sense on the surface level but could’ve been clever if it was done right. Killing La Signora.

Okay. So there is a pivotal moment at the end of the first arc of a three-act story where the main character experiences something that will leave them no choice but to move forward. This usually is a physical thing like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. But it can also be a mental or emotional situation.

Over at Honkai, the first arc ended with the death of a beloved mentor and a shattered world (both external and internal). The characters had no choice but to step up and “to stay alive, bravely” (yes, I won’t stop using this line ever). It was so very well done and even after so many years it still hurt no matter how many times you reread/rewatch the scene.

This reread value is what shows how much a twist is well written.

And that is what miHoYo is known for. So I had high expectations with the plot twist (technically this pivotal moment is called a plot twist because it twists the feel and/or pace of the story). Chapter 2 is the perfect spot to end the first act of a seven-chaptered story. So I’m really preparing myself for the inevitable twist.

But then we ended up with Signora’s death.

Okay. So. They could have used that to show us, as the traveler, how Archons and Celestial beings are unfeeling and not to be trusted. We were told this repeatedly by Dainsleiff and by the Abyss Twin. But it is only textbook writing 101 to show NOT tell.

And Signora’s death could have been this portrayal. Although, to be honest, it would have been more impactful if the one who died is a friend of the Traveler.

Them seeing someone die at the hands of an Archon could have their idea of gods shift. Because there is no turning back once you see the proof right in front of your eyes.

But instead, the puppet did it. So what was the point of Signora’s death if not just a power demonstration? We already knew that the Raiden Shogun is powerful. So why did Signora have to die?

Sure, one can argue that the puppet was enacting the Ei’s will so maybe there was a point. But! In Ei’s story quest, we were told that the puppet would have no hesitation when it comes to killing whereas Ei can show mercy.

Which begs, again, the question: how much of the Raiden Shogun’s actions is a reflection of Ei’s will, and how much of it is a logic response of an artificial intelligence from Ei’s memories?

Honestly? I don’t like that they killed off Signora. It doesn’t feel right. I would’ve taken Beidou’s death over Signora’s no matter how much I love Beidou. There was just no build-up to it and it feels weak. I… didn’t feel anything besides confusion. The anger only came later because of the wasted potential.

But overall, I do think they could’ve made it work if it were actually Ei doing the killing.

--

So I just did Kokomi’s Story Quest and man. The soldiers wanting to continue the war is what they really should have made the motivations of the actual war rather than have it as a post-war response and then have Kokomi fix their mess.

Seriously. While it was really interesting to see the usual trauma response of soldiers who had only known war their whole life, they wasted this idea, man.

Before doing the Archon Quest I had thought that the Watatsumi had a hand on the Vision Hunt Decree. Because if I were a tactician, I would have made something to anger the people of my enemies and have them have their internal issues. And while the Shogunate is weak, that’s when I will strike and claim Inazuma for my people and my god.

Then Orobashi will rise once more.

Yep.

Obviously, I really wanted Kokomi to be a more active character in the Archon Quest.

Anyways. If you reached the end, thank you for reading this ~1.5k words of musings. Tell me what you think. Or don’t. You do you.

[bettyminicoop]

We're at AU since 504, and I'll prove it to you.

So, Riverdale is a comic.

No not like this.

RIVERDALE is a COMIC.

This is how this article began a day ago, when I tried to develop a theory about season 5 and try to explain the absurdity of everything that we have seen on the show lately. But Riverdale is really a comic, in which anything can happen, including events that take us to an alternate universe.

So, the main secret of the season 5 is not mixing ships, it's not about TBK, not about Moth Men, not about TRAUMA™. The main secret of the season 5 is: "What the hell is going on here?"

Does RAS like predictions? Jughead in 417 literally says, "In what future are we not together?" Thus, launching this universe, in which we find ourselves since 504. And there is an explanation for all this, oddly enough.

Honestly, I think that the absurdity of 518 helped me a lot. I realized that all the ship's nonsense of the season is a red herring. I calmed down, exhaled, moved a little further and looked at the whole picture.

For convenience in the future, I will call the events of the first four seasons as RD01, and season 5 since 504 as RD AU. So, everything that happened in RD01 also happened in RD AU, but in a different way. And something may not have happened at all. This is where all the inconsistencies with the plot of the first four seasons come from.

1. The writers are not lazy, they don't forget what happened 5 episodes ago. RAS simply deceived everyone by taking a very risky step. All of the plots that take place in Season 5 have a backstory that we don't know anything about. Except for certain plots that are taken out of the context of the first four seasons. But the difference is that all these plots that happened in RD01 went completely differently here in RD AU.

2. The episode of Citizen Lodge has the most direct evidence for the existence of RD AU. Because if this episode hadn't happened, it would have been hard to guess RD AU. It would be impossible to connect the dots. Citizen Lodge is the key to unlocking the mystery of Season 5 of Riverdale.

The Midnight Club takes place in 1992, but Citizen Lodge takes place in 1988. Although these are the same characters, in the same age range. But at Citizen Lodge we were shown newborn Veronica, because Hermosa never existed here. In RD01, the Lodges have a family rum business, RD AU Lodges are shoe shiners not originally living in Riverdale. The events of both episodes contradict each other, because they took place in different universes. This is not a fault of the writers, this is a deliberate hint. This whole new RD AU universe exists several years earlier than RD 01.

Small addition. In 516 it is indicated that Hermosa exists in the RD AU. But maybe she is younger than Veronica.

3. The last time a clear timeline is set is 503, when Jughead sits in Pop's a year after graduation. And when he walks out the door, he says that the next time he saw his friends was six years later. But we haven't seen that yet. Because that's where RD01 ends.

When 504 starts, nowhere is it stated how many years have passed. The first timeline is set by Veronica Lodge. "It's 2021". And this is the very first clue that we are in the middle of RD AU.

4. When Season 5 was announced, RAS said it would be a 5 year time jump. But by the start of the season, it turned into 7 years. And there is still no error. In RD01, after Bughead says goodbye on the porch, their next meeting actually happens in seven years. But we haven't seen it yet.

RD AU probably takes place five years after core four graduated from high school. And this is confirmed by Bughead's conversation in the bunker when Betty asks Jughead why he's bringing up a conflict five years ago. Which by the way does not negate the fact that voicemail happened only two years ago. Because it is the aftermath of a terrible five-year conflict that ended Bughead's relationship in RD AU. Do you seriously agree that kissing was a terrible thing to do? Probably something worse happened at RD AU.

5. On the chest of Archie RD AU there is no scar after his meeting with the bear, so this did not happen in this universe. We've been shown Archie's breasts so many times this season but we never really noticed!

6. Tom Keller and Sierra McCoy do not appear to be married in RD AU, although they literally fought the Gargoyle King for their relationship.

7. I believe that the RD AU timeline is shifted 4-5 years back relative to RD01. As confirmed by Bughead's bunker conversation and the events at Citizen Lodge. And this explains why RD AU is now in 2021, and not 2027, as it should be in RD01.

8. I watched season 5 very casually and hardly saw more than 1/3. So I need you to help me collect more evidence for the existence of RD AU. For every plot, event and conversation, you need to apply an AU theory filter. And I can promise you, every piece will find its place in the puzzle.

By the way, differences can be not only in plots and dialogues, but also physical in the appearance of characters and interiors.

I'm sure that Veronica's question to Archie, where he sees himself in five years, was also not accidental. But I no longer have the strength to develop this and build it in the context of RD AU. Especially because I don't know much about their relationship history. I trust you to figure it out.

And I wouldn't be at all surprised if Season 5 of Riverdale is still Jughead's book from RD 01, called Rivervale.

Will we get the RD AU backstory in Season 6? To be honest, I'm not sure if we need it.

Is Polly still alive in RD01?

Could Alice's hallucination at 518 be AU on AU? That is, literally being RD01 inside RD AU. Because these scenes were, it seems, the most "normal" in the whole episode. Follow up on this idea. Or we can just wait for season 6 special.

It does not matter at all which ships the RD AU will end with. It does not matter. Because season 5 and season 6 special is not about ships.

Maybe season 6 special is when RD01 and RD AU mix. Well, let's see, it's not long to wait.

Is there a chance RD AU will end on episode 100? Perhaps.

Please give this season and finale a chance. I am currently re-watching individual episodes to find confirmation of my AU theory, and now season 5 makes sense! Check it out for yourself. I'm sure there will be a TBK mystery in the final episode next week that will make my whole AU theory obvious. But I will write about this separately right after this post.

Looking back now, I think the flurry of spoilers ahead of 518 is literally when RAS went crazy. Because we're incredibly dumb and didn't want to see obvious clues in the narrative.

I will never pull this stone out alone. So, my young archaeologists, arm yourself with hammers and brooms, and help me bring this treasure to the surface completely.

I want to say THANK YOU to Bughead fandom. Because you are amazing. Because you are building theories, you are guessing, you are thinking. Because you spin every situation, you question every plot that happened on the show. And I am overwhelmed with complacency, because the uncovering of the main secret of Season 5 came from the Bughead community. After all, who else besides Bughead can uncover Riverdale's secrets?

And thanks to those who first brought up AU in Riverdale. Because only thanks to this theory, I was able to pull the thread and untangle the whole ball.

It's so liberating. It’s like someone has suddenly turned on the lights in the dark room we’ve been in since the beginning of Season 5.

[arbitrarycategories]

erasermic isn’t canon. but I genuinely believe that they COULD HAVE BEEN. not for writing reasons, but for reasons to do with the characters themselves.

1) the Rooftop Gang originally included Shirakumo Oboro, Aizawa Shouta, and Yamada Hizashi. The earliest we are ever introduced to the gang is in their second year, when they are a part of class 2-A and already have an established friendship. (This is in the Vigilantes/Illegals manga).

2) Sushi the cat is introduced to us in order to showcase the relationship between the trio. Aizawa walks to class in the rain, sees a kitten in a box on the side of the road, and immediately assumes there is nothing he can do for it with his current resources and talents. He leaves his umbrella to keep it dry, and continues to school. When he arrives, Yamada comments on how he is soaking wet and expresses concern for his health. Aizawa tells him that it “fits his mood”. Shirakumo makes a grand entrance, returns Aizawa’s umbrella, which he found, and reveals that he picked up the cat. This showcases both Aizawa’s low self-esteem, Yamada’s caring nature, and Shirakumo’s enthusiasm and heart.

3) Sushi the cat is brought to lunch on the rooftop. The boys briefly debate what to do with him. We can infer that none of them have pet friendly homes/budgets. This spurs the introduction of KAYAMA NEMURI, who is fresh from her work study. She is introduced in costume and as a third year, putting her a year above the boys. She is able to take in Sushi. This inducts her into the Rooftop Gang.

4) Kayama joining the Rooftop Gang helps to solve a conflict introduced earlier in the chapter: the three boys have yet to find a work study. Yamada is able to solve the problem on his own, joining with an agency known for full-force, all-out, power-fueled attacks, suited for his Voice quirk. To Shirakumo and Aizawa, Kayama extends the offer to come with her on her work study.

5) Shirakumo and Aizawa, on their work study, have the importance of both efficiency in battle and being able to comfort civilians afterwards emphasized to them. Shirakumo demonstrates the positive effect he has on Aizawa’s self-esteem (and possibly mental health) again as he helps him find his smile. Shirakumo also offers him his goggles, to help with some of Aizawa’s quirk drawbacks. When the boys start wearing matching goggles, Shirakumo proclaims that they can market as a team now. Aizawa shows a positive response to the idea of being partners with Shirakumo.

6) The work study goes very, very wrong. A giant villain attacks. The agency that Yamada is working at attempts to combat it but miscalculates what the villain’s weakness will be. The villain absorbs the attack, enhances it, and fires it into a building in front of him. Shirakumo and Aizawa are in the vicinity of the building, attempting to evacuate civilians from the area. Aizawa is flung back from the blast. Shirakumo is crushed by rubble. A speaker he usually has hanging on his belt as part of his hero costume, however, is undamaged and in Aizawa’s vicinity. Aizawa is able to defeat the giant villain using Erasure, strategy, and fueled by the encouragement that he hears from Shirakumo’s speaker. When congratulated by a Pro for defeating the villain alone, Aizawa insists he wasn’t alone because Shirakumo’s encouragement pushed his forwards. The Pro reveals that Shirakumo was dead on impact with the collapsing building, and that the encouragement Aizawa heard was likely some sort of hallucination to keep his body going in a high-stress environment. (Knowing what we do about Kurogiri, it is unclear whether or not this is true. An analysis for another day.)

7) Aizawa cracks down on combat and withdraws from his friends and peers. HE becomes ruthlessly efficient. There is a time skip, so we do not see the immediate fallout. We do see that Yamada and Kayama, who previously ALSO wore the matching goggles (and planned to be in an agency together), no longer wear the goggles. Aizawa has modified his to the version we see in the main manga. The three friends no longer plan to open an agency together. Additionally, Aizawa has shed his self-doubts about being powerless and unsuited for hero work, though this is spurred mainly by defeating that villain “alone” and not by working positively on his self-esteem.

8) Aizawa announces his intentions to be an independent, underground hero, so he can focus only on villain fighting. He calls it “logical”. His teacher expresses concern over this attitude.

At this point, the chapter focusing on AIzawa’s backstory ends, and the rest we are left to interpret from what little we see of him in the Vigilantes manga background. It’s obvious, however, that losing Shirakumo BROKE something in Aizawa. Shirakumo was the leader and glue of the friend group. HE came up with the idea of opening an agency with the Rooftop Gang. HIS goggles were the identifying, unifying feature between the four of them. It’s shown that, of all Aizawa’s friends, he was likely CLOSEST to Shirakumo.

From a shipping standpoint, this is interesting. Yamada and Shirakumo are introduced in the flashback chapter with a focus on Aizawa. Yamada flings an arm around his shoulders and teases him for being a “gloomy gus” and thinking he’s “powerless”. Shirakumo laughs that Yamada has his hands on Aizawa, calls it scandalous, and immediately demands to be let in on it. These three were well on their way to being a throuple. Rooftop Gang’s perfected form is a throuple + their lesbian friend, though no sexual orientations are ever specified/confirmed in the manga itself. Shirakumo dying throws a wrench in it.

It traumatizes all of them, Aizawa most of all. They all start to separate, though evidence shows that they still stay together and consider each other close friends. (In the Vigilantes manga, Kayama asks Aizawa where Yamada is, and later Yamada where Aizawa is, implying that they keep close tabs on each other.) Life starts to happen. They lose time for personal relationships. Kayama is recruited to teach at UA. She drags Yamada into it. They bully Aizawa into it. They remain friends, but live busy, hectic lives. 

The reason erasermic isn’t canon is basically because they got so busy that romance wasn’t something they were thinking about, and then time passed. They were on their way, until trauma happened, and since then there is always something missing. 

Isn’t it tragic?

[i-love-hobbies]

Eda's reckless behaviour and overall mental health

Summary

Eda is a genius, but is very emotional when making decisions (not anger, but fear, stress ect.)

Her reckless behaviour and apple blood problem in my opinion are her ways of running from reality.

In season 1 she made a bit of progress on this issue. Then the finale happened. Then she made again progress and s2ep7 did a complete reset. And she is making progress now again.

Eda's intelligence

She's been a criminal for thirty years. She has been in the shady business for an extremely long time. Yes magic definitely helps but you also have to find a way to be on top of the game, so you can survive.

Remember Tibbles' shrinking potion. She can't really use a lot of magic if she is shrinked or poisoned and dead, can she? Not to talk about her enemies which you'd think would attack her now that she is magicless.

They haven't on screen, yet. The only ones that tried are Adegast and Tibbles and they both died without her using any magic (or close to nothing).

Now we know that she doesn't make plans a lot on screen. In s2ep3 especially she just let's Luz make the plan but that's because she is her mentor.

In s2ep6 Luz used sleeping needles which is wild magic so no, it's not knowledge coming from Hexside. Also the pickpocketing Luz mentioned.

Teachers don't do the tests instead of students.

She teaches her everything that isn't glyphs. I wouldn't be surprised if she has told stories to Luz about her best "outsmarting everyone in the room" moments.

Now we have seen some of her problem solving on screen. One of which was in ep.18 fight only using her channelled magic trough the staff (im not taking credit for noticing this, have no idea who did though) and used the bridge.

Also if she can telepathically talk to her staff. Owlbert saving Luz was probably her idea.

She had her impact on Raine's rebellion as well, without having magic or turning into a harpy.

"You are not our mom!"

"Wow, we actually helped people this time!"

"Bye, mommy Eda!"

In the back of her head she knows exactly what to do, everytime something happens.

Eda's mental health

Eda's curse and the nightmares it causes. The father incident. The fact that she probably thought Lilith was scared of her.

Lilith's hidden guilt and her taking her father's eye out don't mix well together. I wouldn't be surprised if they barely spoke even if they lived in a house together.

Her losing Raine.

Her faith in the emporer being broken.

She has seen a lot of death, that does impact people.

Season 1

At the beginning of the series she was making a lot of bad choices which don't aline with her experience.

The series starts with her getting caught by Warden Wrath. Instead of just sneaking, they were just walking comfortably in the corridors.

They are kids, one from another dimension, but her... She doesn't know better? And for a paper crown that she can replace by stealing from someone else.

Next episode we are introduced to her morning drink later on confirmed to be for adults only. And that drink didn't get a mention for the rest of the season. In that episode she is also not the most clear-headed. She didn't try to sneak, she didn't use potions. Didn't try to plan.

A list about her being impatient can go on and on.

So when does she think. When she realises it's dangerous (aka when it's right in her face). Literally in the first episode the moment she started doing stuff is when she got caught and spat on the warden's face.

In episode 2 she didn't do that because she didn't know if Luz was alive and had a hard time bottling her feelings. Like if Luz proved to him to be hard to keep tight up he could have killed her, the girl that came back for her and her son yesterday. And she proved to Eda that she is a little dangerous the previous episode with her fireworks.

Eda was rational again, after she was with both King and Luz.

As the series went on though she started to calm down a bit.

Firstly, the fact that she was so focused on fixing her card problem, after Tibbles scammed her, that she trew them away in another dimension.

I was wondering how she overcame it so quickly.

It also shows her knowledge of how to handle this type of problems which brings up a question. How did she learn it?

Secondly let's compare the first half of the season to the second.

1. Everything I already pointed out and was hiding the curse. The stuff that happened in ep.5. Her refusal to be parental in ep.7. Body swapped.

2. She gets scammed again (this time though, how do you expect that someone was digging their own grave). Didn't use a sleeping spell on the slitherbeast immediately instead was just standing there. Got caught by the fun police. Worsened King's stage fright.

In ep.15 because of her ignorance Luz and Amity almost die. Except that is not the full story. She had at this point a lot of faith in Luz and this was her friend's mind.

For Amity it's not that she hated her. Amity actually saved her in ep.12. It's because she wasn't that important for her to realise. "Omg Willow is at the very least extremely mad at her."

It's again a refusal to think, but for a stranger and not really on purpose. It was just a habit of hers.

Episode 18 and 19

At the beginning of the episode. Eda hid the curse, again.

When she learned that Lilith had kidnapped Luz. She didn't try to make a plan. She just revealed herself in all her glory while her magic was disappearing.

Shot the staff in a wall while she was having no idea, what that was supposed to accomplish.

Luz showed up and she finally started thinking.

Afterwards Lilith said we all know what and for the first time Eda's anger was the leader of her choices and Luz almost fell on to the spikes.

So then, for the very least a night, she was stuck in her mind with something, that was chasing her. She woke up to Emporer Baby the B*tch, who was telling her, he was about to go after Luz.

And no she didn't believe in Lilith, but was so overwhelmed. It was insane. So she begged. After some more running, she woke up to Luz in the Comformatoriam.

Next, she was about to get petrified and for awhile this was the calmest things have been since she got caught. Then Lilith shows up (ah yes she existed).

King jumped "She was trying to help!". Wait King was there.

Petrification beam go.

PURE PAIN!

Then she got the idea for all of them to fly away. Lilith shared the curse making the confusion even bigger. Then her magic is gone (that was a thing). She learned that the portal is destroyed. Now she was living with Lilith and might have starved to death with everyone else in the house.

After all of this she not only tried but HAD TO pretend that she was mentally stable, so they could survive this mess.

Season 2A

In episode 1 she told Luz not to go after big bounties and then tried to steal from a coven's ship.

At this point her emotions are the only thing that made decisions while they were also getting hidden. Don't get me wrong she did help and should, especially Luz but it's ALL feelings. She didn't think about consequences, which sometimes are good.

She didn't attack Lilith cause it's just not the time, she's scared from her own anger. Plus she can't really stand being with the roller coaster of emotions, that came with being in one room with her.

This didn't mean she didn't work with her and hadn't listened to the backstory, though.

The episode ends with her and everyone else not being close to dieing. Finally!

So now what? She tried to think about Lilith? Yeah, she probably preferred not to.

Then her glyph almost kills King, but Lilith showed up and helped. This is probably a familiarity she missed. So again she decided not to process it, but it definitely sticks.

She also didn't notice Luz being hurt.

Next episode, we saw Eda taking a shower which means she has healthy coping mechanisms, at least one, self-care and is not yet a workaholic.

Luz's apple blood joke is concerning.

After the events of episode 3. Luz probably told her that Lilith stayed with her and King, instead of just leaving them, get killed by Jean-Luc.

Then Eda still isn't certain where she stands about everything and Lilith just left, with her final act being, giving King mental issues.

Throughout this whole thing her mom was there with her cures/annual accidental attempt to kill her favourite daughter.

In this episode, Eda fell for apple blood signs. Rationality is out of the window.

In ep.6 she decided to help, with students getting palisman. Again not thinking about all the trauma, but finally doing something against her first instinct.

In ep.7 she heard King's "Le-" and refused to fully process, where the heck is he gonna go.

She also punched someone, cause this is gonna work?

Now she has reconnected with Raine having no idea should she even think of a romantic relationship again? And decided to be useful at least for something since she "can't raise kids".

She was helping and being very good at it, but it came from fear of loneliness.

Then she heard that Belos has a plan and just is overwhelmed. What if the kids get hurt, is she powerless?

Oh, look! Raine might be dead!

Next episode she overworked herself.

In between ep.8 and 9 she was trying to scare the beast into transforming. (She is losing her sanity. Literally the previous episode told her not to do that.)

In episode 9 again it's all emotional. She wants to feel better and be stronger, so she told King to blast her (almost blasting Amity), hit fool's blood even though Amity said the lake is further ahead.

Luckily she showed progress too.

She ate voles, which was against how she was feeling.

In ep.10 she was scared of letting Luz in the portal. I'm not saying she wouldn't have before, but I don't think it was easy.

Right now, after s2ep10, I think she isn't the most mentally stable. But she is definitely working on it.

[fakeikemen]

Katara's Grief

(This is my first attempt at a meta post and I know that this has probably been already done but I just needed to get it off my chest and go on a little rant and it kinda got long so bear with me.)

A lot of the hate on Katara stems from the fact that she keeps on mentioning her mother's death at every chance she gets and invalidates other people's pain to assert that her suffering is the worst of the lot.

And even though everybody is entitled to their own opinions, I'm gonna point out why I think the aforesaid claims are not exactly correct.

First we'll take a look at; Katara's Backstory:

We know that Kya is killed in a fire nation raid and that Katara had been the last person to see her alive before she leaves the tent on her mother's insistence. Only to come back a few moments later and find her dead body. This, in itself is a traumatising event.

So yes, her mother died. Other people in the story go through far worse. You're not wrong when you say that.

But what is more important in Katara's story is the aftermath of her mother's death.

As Sokka says while talking to Toph in "The Runaway" in B3 Ep7:

Sokka: When our mom died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess, but Katara? She had so much strength. She stepped up and took on so much responsibility. She helped fill the void that was left by our mom.

As an eight year old, she had to force herself to grow up to step into her mother's shoes and raise herself and her elder brother and simultaneously look after the entire village after her father left to fight in the war. She had to do all of it by herself.

In face of all her responsibilities, she never really had the chance to simply be a grieving child lamenting the loss of her mother. She habituated herself to caring more about others than herself (We see this trait in the entire series as she acts as the stand-in mom friend for the entire Gaang with an exception of Suki and Zuko). She ended up bottling her feelings of grief, resentment, guilt and rage deep within herself.

She had to give up an extensive part of her childhood where most children focus on figuring themselves out, to become a mature and responsible person who was working as the immovable pillar holding up the family and even the whole village not much later.

She put up a strong front to help others and pretended to be fine even though she was hurting inside the whole time.

She could never find any closure from the situation. She never got over it.

Moving on to the criticisms:

1. Katara keeps on mentioning her mother like a broken record:

Here are the number of times Katara mentions her mother's death (not sure if that's all of it, lmk if there are any others):

1. In her first scene with Sokka

Katara: Ever since mom died, I've been doing all the work around camp while you've been off playing soldier!

2. A short while after she meets Aang

Katara: Well, I just want you to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless. They killed my mother, and they could have done the same to your people.

3. A short while after she meets Haru

Katara: I lost my mother in a Fire Nation raid. This necklace is all I have left of her.

4. A short while after she meets Jet

Katara: Sokka and I lost our mother to the Fire Nation.

5. In the swamp after she sees a vision of her mother

Katara: I thought I saw Mom.

6. In the Crystal Catacombs with Zuko

Katara: I don't? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

7. A short while after she meets Hama

Katara: We completely understand. We lost our mother in a raid.

8. Repeated mentions in The Southern Raiders episode

(Most of the episode basically)

The first mention with Sokka is in the middle of a siblings' spat where she tells off Sokka for trying to act as if he were superior when it was obvious that in the face of the gaping hole that was left by Kya's sudden death, Katara had shouldered much more responsibility.

When she tells it to Aang, she uses it as a proof that the Fire Nation is capable of immense cruelty and destruction.

The Gaang travel all around the world and meet different people affected by the war in different ways. So when Haru, Jet and Hama narrate their own stories, Katara sympathises with them and talks about Kya's death in lieu of "I understand, the Fire Nation hurt me too."

After they got separated, Aang, Sokka and Katara each had their visions and after they get back together, they all mention their visions and so does Katara.

When left alone in catacombs with Zuko, whom she considered as the face of the Fire Nation— the same Fire Nation that had her mother killed and forced her father to leave to fight in the war, she has a meltdown where she rightfully accuses him of all the bad things he's done and then breaks down while talking about how the war has cost her i.e., by causing her mother's death.

The Southern Raiders is the episode where Katara hunts down the man responsible for her mother's death. If you think mentioning Kya repeatedly in this episode is uncalled for, then I don't know what to tell you.

In all the incidents mentioned above, Katara mentioning her mother's death is a very natural occurrence is the respective conversations. She mostly talks about Kya's death to either extend her sympathy or to use it as an example of the ruthlessness of the Fire Nation.

Another fact to be noted is that 70% of the Gaang's storyline is followed via Katara from a narrative point of view. Plus, being the mom-friend, she acts as the spokesperson. Considering that Kya's death is a major event that played a huge role in shaping Katara's life and is also the source of her severe, unresolved trauma, which acts as the driving force of her story, it is only natural that she brings up this topic whenever she is engaging in a deeper conversation.

It is us as the viewers who have seen her from the start and already know about her mother's death and we see her talking to multiple people about it. Which is why it might come across as repetitive to some people.

While, Kya's death is not necessary information that everyone needs to know, Katara talking about it never comes across as a forced or unnatural.

2. Katara invalidates others' pain because she thinks she has suffered the most:

First of all, if anything, Katara is the most empathetic person of them all. As the mom-friend of the group, not only is she their constant moral support, she also helps them untangle and sort out their own feelings. She is also able to tap into issues that aren't said out loud.

Instances of Katara helping and supporting Aang, emotionally are uncountable.

She is the first one to notice Sokka's sour mood in B3 Ep4 "Sokka's Master". And even though his insecurities seem baseless, she validates him (by saying "I'm sorry you're feeling so down" instead of something like "That's a dumb thing to say") and knows exactly what to do to cheer him up.

In B3 Ep7 "The Runaway" she has the insight to understand that Toph's unruly behaviour is caused by the mixed feelings she has about her parents even though Toph's herself never talked about it.

She even reaches out to Zuko in B2 Ep19 "Crossroads of Destiny" even though she used to think of him as the face of the enemy.

But then there's The Southern Raiders.

Ah yes, that episode where Katara is extremely OOC and a total b*tch.

Agreed that she said some things that she definitely shouldn't have said. But like, she's just 14?? And has been hurting on the inside since she was 8?? And pretended to be fine just for the sake of other people?? Like, there's a limit to how much she can have her shit under control?? And she did a real good job of Sokka's upbringing and taking care of the village and taking care of Gaang on her own?? Some people out there are really willing to forget everything she has ever done just because she was mean for 5 minutes?? A traumatised 14 yo shouldn't be villianised and called toxic because she got mad and lashed out at people that one time??

But here's my take on the scene anyway:

When Aang gets to know that she's going to go face her mother's killer:

Aang: Um ... and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?

Katara: I knew you wouldn't understand. 

Aang is a non-confrontational person who prefers running away from difficult situations as opposed to Katara who firmly stands her ground and is never afraid of confrontations. Katara had approached Aang only hoping that he would understand. But going by his dismissal, he obviously doesn't understand the burning need that she has to confront the man who had single-handedly destroyed her childhood. (Most people infer that what Katara means is that she thinks that Aang doesn't understand the pain of losing people. And so does Aang, I guess)

But things start getting even more tricky when:

Aang: Katara, you sound like Jet.

In all honesty, this is probably the most insensitive thing that she could've heard from anyone right then, let alone one of her closest friends. Hearing herself being compared to a homicidal maniac just because she wants to avenge her mother's killer. (No, I'm not justifying murder but there's a clear difference between homicide and avenging someone's death. And Aang may not be my favourite character but I do love him but this wasn't really a good thing to say either. And he wasn't even mentally distressed in the very least to be completely lacking tact or a filter.)

And then the situation escalates:

Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right.

Katara: Then you didn't love her the way I did!

After 6 long years of Katara bottling in her dark feelings and letting them fester inside herself, she is finally letting them out and the first things she faces in a span of few minutes are outright rejection, invalidation of her feelings, comparison to a homicidal maniac and nothing akin to the unconditional support that she has provided to everybody. Her own brother tells her that he is siding with the boy who just compared her to a homicidal maniac.

Yes, accusing your own brother of not loving your mother enough is a very cruel thing to do. But both Sokka and Katara know that she doesn't entirely mean it.

But also, there is one very important factor in here:

In B3 Ep7 "The Runaway", Sokka says to Toph:

Sokka: I'm gonna tell you something crazy. I never told anyone this before, but honestly? I'm not sure I can remember what my mother looked like. It really seems like my whole life, Katara's been the one looking out for me. She's always been the one that's there. And now, when I try to remember my mom, Katara's is the only face I can picture. 

Katara overhears this conversation just as Sokka had meant her to.

This dialogue lets us know that Sokka's coping mechanism has made him suppress all memories of Kya and replace them with memories of Katara in order to attain a semblance of normalcy.

Both Katara and Sokka had very different ways of coping with Kya's death. Katara pressed down her feelings and tried her best to pretend to ignore them while Sokka partially succeeded in forgetting her.

When Katara first hears these words she is shown to be crying. But if she were to remember these very words while she was justifying herself infront of her own brother and a close friend for wanting to avenge her mother, it would've had a negative impact on her.

In her rage, she would've thought: "Of course he doesn't want to avenge mom. Because he doesn't think it's worth it and that's because he doesn't even remember enough of her to be mad about her death."

And for someone who has spent each day of the last 6 years trying to fill in the shoes of her mother and experiencing her absence everyday, the idea of forgetting her mother is a ridiculous concept to her.

Her thoughts would have quickly derailed to: "He didn't love her enough to remember her."

In light of these thoughts, saying "Then you didn't love her the way I did" doesn't feel out of the blue.

No, I am definitely not justifying what she said, I'm just laying out a possible explanation to why she said what she said.

Yes, she should've apologized to Sokka for this and I think that they definitely should've had a long conversation about their mother's death and how it affected them. Between Katara supressing her feelings and Sokka supressing his memories, i don't think they ever had this conversation.

But sadly we are given neither of these scenes.

Tl;dr: Everytime Katara mentions her mother, it's with good reason and I don't think it's fair to call a character toxic when they lack a mind to mouth filter for 5 minutes and say some mean things. And considering all that Katara has done for everybody, it isn't fair at all.

Peace out!