#which!!!!! if stimulants weren't so hard on my body! would be great!!!

[forcebookish]

had to stop taking the new adhd medication but the good news is i can drink coffee and iced tea again

[ro-is-struggling]

Can I pretty please request 6 with sirius black and perhaps slytherin! Reader?

Hi beautiful💜 Thank you so much for participating in the celebration and I'm sorry it took me so long to post your request!

This is so long for no reason I’m sorry!! I got soooo carried away I didn’t realize I wrote a fucking novel until it was to late lol But I really enjoyed wrtiring this one even tho it took forever and it was a pain in the ass to edit lol, I had a lot of fun so I hope you like it too

Dating 101 || Sirius Black x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: You and Sirius are not the best of friends, but you end up going to him in desperate need of help to get the attention of the guy you've liked for years but don't seem to be able to talk to. He agrees to help you and for the next few weeks you spend time together, getting to know each other better as he teaches you everything he knows about the dating world. The more time you spend together, the more you realize that Sirius is not the arrogant jerk you thought he was, which leads to confused feelings and doubts about who is the one who truly owns your heart.

Warnings: slow burn, rivals to lovers, attempt at humor, reader being awkward, fluff, a little angst kinda

English is not my first language 

Word count: 16.700

This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration

You couldn't believe what you were about to do, your brain screaming at you to stop. You felt sick at the thought of turning to Sirius for help, but you truly had no other choice. You had avoided this as much as you could, but your situation couldn't go on like this, not if you wanted to get your crush to look at you at some point. You weren't a big fan of Sirius —you found that he could be annoying and arrogant at times—, but you couldn't deny that he knew all about the dating world. He was confident and was able to get the attention of anyone he wanted just by giving them a smile. You couldn't understand how he did it —how could anyone be so charming?—, but you couldn't argue with the hard evidence. Sirius was a master at the art of dating and you needed his help. 

You felt a bit silly going to him for help with something like this. You weren't necessarily friends, more like frenemies. You usually argued and competed for points for your respective houses-Sirius for Gryffindor, you for Slytherin-you were both very good students and found your fights stimulating, but you also knew how to work together when necessary. You didn't hate each other, it was just that your personalities clashed easily and you both had a predilection for annoying the other to the point of madness. 

"I need your help with something, Black." You announced when you found him at the Gryffindor table in the Great Dining Hall. He was with his friends, laughing as they plotted who knows what, but you didn't care. You needed to talk to him and you needed to do it now. "Can we talk... in private?" You added as you noticed James, Peter and Remus' curious glances at you.

Sirius looked at you with a raised eyebrow, noticing a hint of discomfort in your action. You were fidgeting, your fingers lightly tapping the edges of the book you held in your hands as you moved your feet constantly, shifting your body weight from one to the other every couple of seconds. Something was bothering you and for some reason you had gone to him of all people. Sirius didn't need to ask you any more questions to follow you into the hallway, too intrigued by what you had to say.

“What’s up, Y/LN?” He asked you when he saw the doubt in your expression, opening and closing your mouth a couple of times without making a sound. He had to admit that your behavior kept poking his curiosity to the point that he was willing to say yes to anything you asked as long as you told him something.

"I need your help," you mumbled as you searched for the right words to explain your situation. Your brain was screaming at you to shut your mouth, sure that Sirius would do nothing but make fun of you, but you had no other options left so that was a risk you would have to take.

"You said that already," he pointed out. "What do you need my help for?"

"I need you to help me get a guy's attention. I know you're really good at this stuff and I thought maybe you could help me out." You spoke quickly, the words running over each other and making the sentence almost unintelligible. It took Sirius a few seconds to understand what you had said, but when he did a cocky smile formed on his face.

“Really?” You regretted asking for his help as soon as you heard the amused tone in his voice. He was definitely enjoying this, it wasn't every day that you were so vulnerable in front of him. He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy listening to you compliment his abilities in the love department. For the first time you were admitting that he was better than you at something without putting up a fight.

"Forget it." You turned to walk away convinced that you had made a mistake in trusting someone like Sirius with your problem. You barely made it two steps before you felt his hand close around your arm to stop you.

"Nonono wait! I wanna help." He was quick to say before you got too far away. "What's your problem?" You remained silent for a moment, watching his face to make sure he wasn't messing with you. You weren't in the mood to put up with his teasing and this topic was too sensitive for you. If he wasn't willing to genuinely give you his help then you would have to leave.

However, you found nothing in his expression that made you suspect that he had bad intentions, so you told him your situation. You told him how much you liked this Oliver guy and how incredibly stupid you became whenever he was around. You had a crush on him for the past two years and even though you were from the same house and shared almost every class, you had never been able to exchange more than two words with him. And it was always embarrassing. All he had to do was look in your direction and you completely lost your cognitive abilities, becoming a nervous mess who couldn't utter more than two words without stuttering. 

After all this time you had almost gotten used to making a fool of yourself in front of Oliver, it was a constant part of your day to day life so you had stopped worrying about it the way you used to. You held out hope that you could get better with time, gather the confidence and courage to face your feelings and have a normal conversation with him at least once. However, all your hopes were shattered after the embarrassing moment you experienced this morning.

The Potions class had dragged on a bit so by the time you were finally able to leave the classroom everyone was running late for their next classes. Everybody rushed through the halls and in the confusion of people Oliver bumped into you, causing your books to fall to the floor. Like the gentleman he was, he bent down with you to pick them up and your fingers brushed as he handed them back to you, causing the skin on your hand to tingle. He smiled at you and apologized for hitting you, but your brain, overwhelmed by the contact and proximity, wouldn't allow you to do anything but mumble incoherently. When you noticed the confusion on his face you knew it was time to run, so you grabbed your books and ran down the hallway, bumping into a couple of students on the way.

“Wow! You suck!” Sirius laughed at your misery. He had a hard time imagining you as someone so shy and awkward given that with him you were Miss I-Know-It-All. Sirius always saw you as a confident and self-assured girl, ready to take the world by storm if it got in the way of your goals.

"I know!" you admitted with a tone of frustration, hiding your face in your hands. You didn't see the point in lying to Sirius, your pride was already crushed from the moment you decided to go to him. "That's why I need your help!"

"Okay, I'll help you, but what's in it for me?" The way he was looking at you, with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile on his face, made you suspicious of his intentions. What was he getting at? " What's in it for me if I help you, something that, let me remind you, I have absolutely no need to do?"

"My eternal gratitude?"

"Oh, it has to be something better than that! You're asking for a lot here, do you have any idea of how much work it's gonna take me to fix your awkwardness?" You knew he was joking for the most part and you were aware that there was a lot of truth behind his words —you were pretty much a lost case—, but it still hurt a little to hear him say that. You weren't used to taking his words without putting up a fight, but you knew that wouldn't get you anywhere. It was time to swallow your pride and listen to Sirius no matter how ridiculous and annoying it sounded.

"Then what do you want?" You asked him, letting out a frustrated sigh, crossing your arms in front of your chest in a defiant stance. You had no time for his games and you were pretty much willing to do anything for his help. "Name your price."

Sirius took a moment to think, but there was something in his expression that suggested to you that he already knew exactly what he wanted from you. 

"Fine I'll do it, but only if you help me with my Herbology assignment." He stated after a few seconds of silence. You looked at him in surprise, doubting for a moment if you had heard correctly. For some reason you were expecting something more terrible, like him using you to make a prank against your own house or having you as a servant for a week, you know, something that felt more like a punishment than anything else.

"Really? That's it?" It was a reflex caused by surprise that you couldn't help but blurt out. You were more than happy with his terms, helping him in Herbology was something you could do with ease.

"No, now that I think about it I also want you to declare to everyone that I'm better than you in everything, but we can work on that." 

And there was the Sirius you knew. You shook your head in disapproval, but couldn't contain the giggle that escaped your lips. He was an idiot, but a funny idiot. 

"Fine! We have a deal?" You asked, holding out your hand for him to shake. He looked at you for a moment before taking your hand, closing his fingers over it in a firm grip.

"We have a deal."

Sirius refused to tell you what he had planned for his first lesson  —his words, not yours. No matter how hard you pressed him for a clue, he kept his mouth shut. He told you it was best that you didn't know more than the day and time he wanted to meet with you to discuss your situation, so you had to spend the week between the stress of homework and exams and the nerves Sirius aroused in you with all the secrecy. 

But finally, after so much suffering and uncertainty, Saturday came. You usually took advantage of the weekend to do your homework or spend time with your friends, but not this time. From the moment you woke up you spent the day counting down the hours until you could meet Sirius. You weren't even surprised that he took his role comically seriously, walking around you while talking as if he was a teacher and you were his only student. He even made exaggerated gestures, mixing several of your teachers into one personality. He only needed a board to write nonsense on and the character would be complete. You didn't mind that he found a way to joke in the middle of it all, you figured that was better than literally anything else he could come up with.

"Today's lesson is about confidence." Sirius announced firmly, looking down at you as if you were an innocent little girl and he was an experienced adult who had all the answers to your questions. And in a way he was, so you closed your mouth and listened to what he had to say. "If you want to ask this guy out then first you have to be able to be able to talk to him. And for that you have to be confident in yourself and your abilities. That's really the most important part of all. Confidence can get you far in life."

You knew very well that what he said was true, but it was much easier said than done. You were a confident girl in general, sure of your ideas and unafraid to communicate them. In any other area of life you had no problem making yourself heard, but when it came to love your brain stopped working. It was the one thing your brain couldn't master, the one thing that didn't seem to make sense and therefore was impossible to study. The world and everything you knew about it stopped making sense when Oliver got close to you. Your brain would fry when he smiled, overwhelmed by the perfection of his face, and suddenly forget how to function properly, making your strong and special personality get lost in a bunch of incoherent babbling.

“That’s easier said than done,” you complained, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but everytime Oliver looks at me I get all stupid and suddenly I forget how to speak.”

“You’re insecure because you lack experience in the matter, that’s completely normal.” You frowned at the confidence in Sirius' voice, but after contemplating his words for a few seconds you realized he was right. How he had been able to figure it out so quickly, you didn't know.

“That… actually makes sense. What do you think I should do?”

“Easy! You need to practice.” He said as if it were obvious, dropping down next to you.

“Practice?”

“Yep, right here, right now. Show me what you’ve got.”

“S-show you what I’ve got?” you repeated in a whisper, unsure how to proceed. You didn't have any lines if that's what he meant. You didn't usually walk around school thinking about which boy's attention you wanted to attract that day, so you didn't have a list of stupid, cheesy icebreaker phrases like you knew he had.

"Just pretend that I'm him. You have me sitting next to you, what's your line?" Sirius' eyes were glued to yours, looking at you expectantly. It made you nervous, so naturally, you made nothing but a fool of yourself when you opened your mouth.

"Hey there... you..." you hesitantly mumble, cringing at yourself. You wanted to slap yourself for being so pathetic. What was wrong with you? You were so much better than this, why was it impossible for you to sound like a normal person when it came to a guy? "I'm sorry, this isn't working. I'm not usually the one that initiates the conversations. Also when I look at you I just see you, so this is dumb." 

You hid your face in your hands to avoid meeting Sirius' mocking gaze. You knew he was probably getting a kick out of your suffering and stupidity, although you were thankful he didn't make it so obvious. You wanted to run out of there, hide under your sheets and never be noticed again by any other human being. There was no hope for you, you were convinced of it. You were too pathetic and you would die alone because of it.

"Fine, let's try a different approach." Sirius sounded too optimistic for someone who had seen you make a fool of yourself like that. "You see that guy over there," he said, forcing you to take your hands away from your face so you could see the boy he was pointing at. When you nodded, he continued. "I want you to get over there and flirt with him."

You let out a long laugh that died as soon as you noticed the seriousness on Sirius' face. "Wait, seriously?" He nodded with a smile and you felt your stomach start to twist with nerves. 

"Look, talking to Oliver scares you, right? The only way to get over it is to face it right here, right now. So I want you to go there and talk to that guy."

"And say what?" You panicked, your voice a couple of notes higher than normal. You didn't even know the guy Sirius wanted you to flirt with, which guaranteed not only that things would go horribly wrong but also that you would be humiliated in front of a complete stranger. Great! That was exactly what you needed at that moment. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I can barely talk to you. what am I supposed to say to this guy?”

“I don’t know, use a dumb line like…” Sirius took a few seconds to think, though you wished he had never opened his mouth again. "Hey, I could tell from across the room we might be into each other, now that I'm here I know it, your move." The exaggeratedly feminine voice he made as he recited the worst line you'd ever heard in your life did nothing to ease your urge to hit him. There was no way you were going to say that to a complete stranger. No, you refused.

"I'm sorry, have you met me? I couldn't get through three words of that."

"Fine! Walk over there and say hey there."

"Hey there?" You tried to protest, but he cut you off, pushing you to get up.

"C'mon, up, up!" you resisted his pushes, but Sirius was much stronger than you and eventually won you over. 

You took several deep breaths before you decided to take the first step towards that mysterious boy who was so calmly reading a book sitting on a bench in the hallway overlooking the courtyard. You walked as slowly as possible without looking weird, turning every two seconds to look at Sirius hoping he would take pity on you and let you go back to your place. However, he just smiled at you, giving you the thumbs up in a gesture of encouragement and making you hate him just a little bit.

You sat on the unoccupied end of the bench, making yourself as small as possible to try to go unnoticed. It didn't make much sense since you were supposed to talk to him, but first you needed a moment to calm your nerves. 

C'mon, you can do this!' the voice of bravery in your mind tried to encourage you. 'It's just a guy! The sooner you talk to him, the sooner you can get this over with.'

You tried to summon your inner Sirius and, letting out a sigh, you turned to look at the boy who was still concentrating on the book in his hands. "Hey there!" Your voice sounded smaller and more pathetic than you meant it to, but it managed to get the boy's attention.

"Hi," he said, slightly confused. A few seconds of awkward silence ensued as your brain struggled to function, thinking of the best way to continue the conversation. 

"What are you reading there?" Without saying anything, the boy closed the book in his hands to show you the cover, giving you time to read the title. It was an old book from the library on the history of the magical world. "Ah, I see. Homework or pleasure?" You didn't know why you were so interested in the book he was reading, it didn't even matter for what you were supposed to be doing, but at least it was a topic of conversation. It was either that or a deep uncomfortable silence until one of you got tired and left.

"I'm doing some research for an essay," he explained as if it were obvious. What teenager would spend a weekend reading a history book for pleasure?

“Oh, about what? Cause I’m really good at History and I-”

“I’m sorry but I’m kinda busy,” he interrupted you before you could continue with your ramblings that were going nowhere. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Oh no, sorry!" you were quick to apologize, feeling the blood from all over your body pooling in your cheeks. Embarrassed, you turned your gaze away from the boy looking for anything else to focus on so you wouldn't have to face your humiliation. Your eyes met Sirius, who gave you a smile. On his lips you read words of encouragement, so you took another deep breath and returned your attention to the boy sitting next to you. "Actually... I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with me sometime?"

An awkward silence formed and lasted a few seconds. The boy's eyes locked on you, but you couldn't hold his gaze as you waited for an answer. Your eyes searched Sirius once again for comfort and that's when you heard the laughter.

"That was good! Did Sirius put you up to this?" the boy laughed, humiliating you a little more with each chuckle. Of course he thought it was a joke!

"You got me!" you blurted out with a fake laugh, throwing your hands up in the air in defeat. "He dared me to come over and talk to you. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

The boy said something else, but you didn't hear him since you were already running back to Sirius. You felt humiliated and dejected. Not only had you made a fool of yourself, but it had all been for nothing. That experience hadn't taught you anything you didn't already know —that you were awkward and weird and that you would die alone because of your lack of flirting skills.

"See, that wasn't so bad!" Sirius encouraged you as you sat back down next to him. "You got him to laugh!"

"That was humiliating and I hate you."

"Well too bad because now I want you to talk to fifteen guys."

"What? No, forget it!" Sirius was crazy if he thought you were willing to do that again. You'd been humiliated enough for one day, you wanted to go to sleep now.

"Oh my sweet, innocent little bug." Sirius said in an almost condescending tone, putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to him. You scrunched up your nose at the strange nickname he had chosen for you, trying to decide if you hated it or thought it was funny. "Confidence takes work. You can't just talk to one guy and expect everything to magically change. You need to work for it, take a few hits, learn that a negative response it's not the end of the world and it doesn't define who you are or your value as a person."

"It's easy for you to say! All you have to do is smile and every girl in school throw themselves at you."

"That's because I already put in the work, silly." He bumped your nose with his finger and you rolled your eyes, pushing him to break free from his embrace. Suddenly you weren't in the mood for his bullshit. "So now I want you to do the same. Go get them!"

Letting out a grunt, you got up and set off down the corridors of Hogwarts in search of boys who were isolated enough to give you some privacy while you made a fool of yourself —the last thing you wanted was to be the laughing stock of the whole school. And as you walked along you couldn't help but think that maybe asking Sirius for help hadn't been as great an idea as you had initially thought.

“How exactly do you kill two mandrakes in a row?” Was your answer when Sirius told you the reason why he needed your help in Herbology. As part of the practical exam for the OWLs, Sirius had to tend a mandrake plant until it was fully ripe and then present it to the professor. It was not an easy task —mandrakes, like humans, were complicated beings—, but not impossible either. Sirius was a very skilled wizard and you believed that someone like him would have no problem with such a task. But apparently you were wrong, because according to what he had told you it was the second time the plant withered and died before it developed squeaky roots similar to a very ugly human baby.

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking for your help." He shrugged, opening the greenhouse door and stepping aside to let you pass. You found his response suspicious, it was hard to believe that someone like Sirius couldn't take care of a simple mandrake, but you didn't say anything about it. Instead, you let him lead you over to where his pot rested. "What am I doing wrong?"

“Well, have you been watering it enough?” was your first question when you noticed that the soil in the pot looked a little dry. You motioned for him to hand you the watering can and you took it upon yourself to hydrate the poor plant. "You need to check on it regularly. Mandrakes are very similar to us, they need love and attention to grow strong and healthy."

"I'm not going to treat this thing like it's my baby or something." Sirius complained, leaning back on the table as he watched you analyzing the state of the plant. He had to admit that the light reflected off the greenhouse in a unique way, giving you a different aura. You were glowing in a special way that Saturday morning and he couldn't help but wonder what was causing it.

"You'll have to do it if you want to pass the exam." Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, bringing him back to reality. "But don't worry, I'll help you. We'll co-parent this thing." You both shared a laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, but Sirius would be lying if he said that the idea of spending more time with you disgusted him. He didn't quite know what was happening to him, but lately he didn't find you as annoying and insufferable as usual. Maybe it was because you weren't looking to argue with him every five minutes, or the fact that he had gotten to know a different side of you, but he found himself enjoying the time you spent together. It was fun to joke with you without starting a war.

You spent the next hour talking about mandrakes and you gave Sirius a couple of tips on how to keep it alive. You ended up setting up a schedule for him, marking the times when he had to visit to water it and when to move it to get the exact amount of sunlight it needed to grow strong. If he followed your advice, the mandrake would reach its squeaky baby stage in a couple of weeks. You promised to help him dig it up and repot it as it grew, but assured him that the daily care would fall to him so you could make sure he was learning something —after all, you didn't want to help him pass his OWL Herbology exam by cheating.

You parted ways when lunchtime arrived, each of you going to the table of your respective houses to eat with your friends. However, Sirius approached you again a couple of hours later while you were waiting with the other students to go on the Hogsmeade trip.

"Ready for your next lesson?" he said as he put his arm around your shoulders. It took you by surprise since in all the time you had shared in the morning he hadn't mentioned anything about having your next lesson.

"Already?" you asked, remembering that it had only been a week since your disastrous first lesson. Well, it hadn't been so bad after all. Sure, you had spent the afternoon humiliating yourself, talking nonsense to the first guy who crossed your path, but in the end you had managed to get a positive response from one. The small victory had made you feel good, but you still needed some more time to recover. 

"Well, you were really helpful this morning so I wanted to do something in return."

"Is it going to take long? Cause I wanted to go out with the girls."

"Just give me an hour, then you're free to go." You looked at him with hesitation in your eyes, the ghost of their last encounter haunting you. If his next lesson was going to be as terrible as the first you weren't sure you were ready, you needed time to prepare your mind for the humiliation. "C'mon, you're going to like this one." Sirius insisted with a smile and you ended up giving in to his charms. 

This time you kept your questions to yourself about what you'd do to yourself, knowing that Sirius wasn't going to give you a clue. You walked around Hogsmeade by his side, making casual small talk and laughing at his jokes as if you were lifelong best friends. However when you arrived at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop you couldn't help but ask him what were you doing there.

"The second lesson is going to be about the date itself and how to create the proper atmosphere." Sirius explained as he led you to one of the overly decorated tables. "If you want the date to end with you guys making out, you have to think ahead." You wrinkled your nose at his choice of words, but didn't mention anything about it.

"What do you in your infinite wisdom advise me to do?" you joked as you settled back in your seat. You stayed silent for a moment as you were served your tea, before returning to your conversation.

"Close proximity is very important if you want to create an intimate moment." Sirius declared as he took a sip of his tea. "No one is making out if they're three feet apart, so no matter where you have the date, you have to make sure you're close to each other." You listened to him speak attentively, trying hard to retain the information he was giving you as if you were studying for an exam.

“Being close, got it.” You repeated nodding your head, making a mental list of his advice that you hoped you wouldn't forget by the time you returned to school.

"If you come here for your date, you have to make sure you don't sit across from each other. Instead, move your chair a little closer to his, like this." Sirius slid his chair until it was almost next to yours so you were nestled against one side of the round table full of corny decorations. You could feel the warmth his body radiated caressing your skin. It made you nervous, though you didn't quite know why. You supposed it was because you weren't used to being so close to a guy —especially him— in a place that looked so romantic.

"See, this is better for flirting, accidental touching and making out." His voice had turned into a soft whisper, leaning toward you so he could speak in your ear. His breath collided against your neck with each word that left his lips, giving you goosebumps. The blood rushed to your cheeks from embarrassment, making your face feel on fire. 

When you dared to look up, your eyes met Sirius's deep gray eyes admiring your face. It was the first time you were so close to him, you could clearly note every detail of his face, every glint in his cold gray orbs. Suddenly you understood all the girls at Hogwarts who sighed lovingly every time they saw him passing through the school halls. He had a singular beauty that came completely naturally to him, effortlessly. It was hard to look away from his perfect features and captivating eyes, even though you felt small and self-conscious under his intense gaze.

Sirius' eyes trailed down your face, lingering over your lips for a fraction of a second. It was almost imperceptible, but you noticed it, just as you noticed the arrogant little smile that formed at the corner of his lips. The air caught in your throat as you felt the room grow smaller, trapping you with him, forcing you to be close to him. And when his fingers brushed the exposed skin of your knee you couldn't help but let out a shriek of surprise, jumping in your seat to get away from him.

Sirius laughed as you struggled to compose yourself, breathing deeply to calm the wild pounding of your heart, repeating in your mind that the tingling you felt in your knee was just the product of your imagination and meant nothing. "It's not funny, you jerk!" you complained, tapping him on the shoulder to shut him up.

"You say that 'cause you didn't see your face." He laughed and you rolled your eyes. He was an idiot.

"If you don't stop laughing I'll leave and I won't help you with your little Herbology project." You threatened him and that seemed to get his attention.

“Okay, okay!” Sirius exclaimed, raising his hands in the air in surrender. He moved away from you again and that allowed you to breathe easier as you regained your personal space. "So, moving on... How do you set the tone at the date? Lighting matters, okay? The darker it is, the better. It creates a more intimate atmosphere."

"Close proximity, lighting, okay." You repeated, adding more details to your mental list. "What else?"

"Body language! Is he leaning in? Is he sitting close?" Sirius moved closer to you again, exemplifying his words with his actions. Your heart rate spiked once again as you felt the warmth of his body envelop you once more. His hand brushed yours on the table, forcing your gaze back to them. You felt the strange urge to entwine your fingers with his, wondering what it would feel like to hold his hand, but you held back, trying to focus on his words to distract yourself.

"And then it's all about interaction." He continued, as if he didn't know the effect his closeness had on you. "Is he trying to impress you? Does he say complimentary things to you? If yes, chances are he's going to make his move."

"Wow, I had no idea guys like you even thought about this kind of stuff." you said in a sarcastic tone, hoping it would help ease the tension you felt in the air. 

"Well, that's because you're mean and you always think the worst of people." he joked and you laughed. He was kind of right. "But it's okay, I forgive you." Sirius put his arm around your shoulders again, pulling you against his body as you laughed and shook your head.

The tension in the air was beginning to dissipate, allowing you to have a good time together without feeling awkward and weird. You shared a couple more laughs before your date was interrupted by the voice of your best friend, who had seen you and Sirius from the store window as she walked through Hogsmeade and couldn't believe her eyes. As far as she knew you hated each other, so why were you hugging while drinking tea at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, a place frequented by couples?

You jumped on your feet at the mention of your name, struggling to think of an excuse that would justify you and Sirius being there. Despite the fact that she was your best friend, you hadn't told her about your little plan to get Oliver's attention. Not only was it humiliating to need help in order to get a date, but it was even more humiliating to have to go to the guy you argued with the most in all of Hogwarts for advice. It wasn't a decision you were proud of and you thought it was better if no one knew about it.

In the end it was Sirius who saved you, telling your friend that you were there with him to honor your part of a bet you had lost. It wasn't the first time you two had bet when arguing about something and most of the time it was the humiliation of the other that was at stake, so your friend bought the lie without asking many questions.

Before leaving Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop to follow your friend, you made sure to thank Sirius for saving you. He smiled at you, downplaying it, though you could swear there was a glint of sadness in his eyes as he looked back at you. You wanted to ask him if everything was alright, finding the sudden change in his mood strange, but before you could open your mouth you were interrupted by your friend's voice hurrying you to leave. 

In the end you could only give Sirius an apologetic smile before following your friend and disappearing out the door. But for the rest of the day you continued to think about the events of that afternoon, wondering why you felt so strange when Sirius was around and why you almost wished you could have stayed with him in the tea store for a while longer.

By the time the third lesson came around you were already having doubts about everything. Did it make any sense? Was anything Sirius was telling you really going to do you any good? Did you even want to go out with Oliver?

Wait, what?

Of course you wanted to go out with him! He had been your crush for years and you had done nothing but fantasize about talking to him, admiring him from a distance hoping that he would reciprocate your feelings. He was the only guy you had ever cared about all this time, so of course you wanted to go out with him. You didn't understand where that stupid question had come from.

And then, as if the universe was giving you an answer, you felt the weight of Sirius' arm on your shoulders. As you looked up you met his charming smile, the one that once seemed arrogant and made you roll your eyes in annoyance, but now awakened a strange but comforting warmth inside you. Could it be that he was the reason behind your confusion?

"Ready for your next lesson, dove?" He spoke with his characteristic cheerful and nonchalant tone of voice. He was so casual that you almost missed the new nickname he had decided to use with you on that beautiful Friday afternoon.

"I'm 'dove' now?" you asked, looking at him with a confused frown. It was a little strange, but you'd be lying if you said the nickname didn't awaken something in you, something you couldn't describe or put into words, but it made you feel good.

"Yes, because you're sweet and innocent like a dove." Sirius explained as if it were obvious, shrugging it off. It was clear that it wasn't a big deal to him, just a nickname he found amusing, but you on the other hand were a completely different story. You grew nervous all of a sudden and felt the heat of embarrassment on your cheeks. Never before had a boy used affectionate nicknames like that with you so you didn't really know how to react. So you didn't say anything, you just looked away and cleared your throat, pretending your heart wasn't beating at a dangerously fast pace.

"Don't you think it's a little late for a lesson?" you spoke after a few seconds of silence, watching the sun begin to set on the horizon. 

"I tend to work better at night." He winked at you and you nudged him in the ribs, though you couldn't contain a slight chuckle that escaped your lips.

"Fine, what are you going to teach me today?"

For the next few minutes you and Sirius talked about the importance of your date outfit, not so much to impress Oliver, but to make you feel comfortable and confident and thus increase your chances of success on the date. He talked about how everybody has that one piece of clothing that is special and makes them feel like the best version of themselves. For him it was his leather jacket, it was the first piece of clothing he had chosen and bought for himself to piss off his parents who only wanted to see him wear old-fashioned and uncomfortable tunics. It represented his rebellious spirit, his freedom, and so he wore it all the time. It was a reminder of who he was, of everything he had to fight against in order to express his true self, and that's why it made him feel comfortable and confident every time he wore it.

You didn't have anything remotely like that. You felt quite comfortable and liberated when you were alone in your room curled up in your bed wearing your pajamas while reading a book, but you doubted you could wear something like that on a date. You had never been very interested in fashion and accessories, you found that world too overwhelming. You didn't even think you had a favorite style, just a pile of clothes in your closet that you wore hoping they would match. 

"We have to change that!" was the answer Sirius gave you when you explained your situation. "Meet me in the third floor corridor after dinner, the one with the statue of the one-eyed witch."

"What?" you asked him with confusion. You hated his cryptic answers, why was it so hard for him to be direct and tell you what was on his mind? "What for?"

“Just trust me on this.” 

You had to admit that Sirius wasn't inspiring much trust in you at the moment. Why on earth did he want to meet you so late and why couldn't you do whatever it was he had in mind right now? Why was it so important that it was at night? And what was the deal with the third floor hallway? What was he up to?

None of your questions got an answer because before you could ask them he got up and left, leaving you alone and confused. 

You spent the next few hours debating whether it was wise to listen to Sirius or not. Wandering around the castle after dinner was forbidden and while you had broken that rule a couple of times, you never felt right when you did. It gave you too much anxiety and you didn't enjoy sneaking through the corridors looking over your shoulder every second. You weren't exactly a fan of that kind of adrenaline. 

That said, you couldn't deny that the idea of wandering around Hogwarts at night with Sirius sounded tempting. He was the king of breaking the rules, so you were sure he had his fair share of tricks to avoid getting caught. Usually you hated the impunity with which he carried himself, walking the halls of the school as if he owned it, unbothered about the consequences of his actions. But now that you knew him a little better you couldn't help but feel a little excited at the idea of being his partner in crime. 

Maybe there was some sense in his madness. Maybe he really was funny and you had spent all this time hating him for it because he annoyed you as a person. Since you had started this experiment with him you had done nothing but learn to see the world through his eyes. Every minute you spent together helped you to understand a little better his thoughts and the reasons why he did what he did. You had learned to like him, so why not give him a chance now? Maybe you would finally understand the reason behind his rebelliousness.

So, when you finished dinner you found a way to sneak up to the third floor undetected. You got there first, which gave your brain time to rethink the decision it had made as you paced back and forth nervously. However, when Sirius appeared a couple of minutes later apologizing for the delay all your doubts and fears disappeared.

"I had to make a quick stop to get some things." He explained, pointing to the crumpled piece of fabric he had hanging from one arm and the scrap of parchment he was holding in his hand.

"Are you finally going to tell me what the hell are we doing here?" You asked, crossing your arms. "If this is a prank I swear to Merlin-"

“I would never, dove.” Sirius interrupted you, awakening that strange warmth inside you once again by using the affectionate nickname. "I'm a man of my word and I intend to honor our agreement. But first I need to ask you something."

You furrowed your brow in confusion, but nodded your head without a second thought. "Sure, what is it?"

"You have to promise me that all this is going to stay between us. You can't tell anyone about what we're about to do." The secrecy seemed strange to you but it also peaked your curiosity. Why was it so important to him that no one knew what you were going to do? What did he have planned? 

There was only one way to find out.

"I promise," you assured him, waiting for him to explain what was going on.

"Great!" Sirius smiled and then pulled out his wand. He approached the statue of the one-eyed witch and touched it with the tip of his wand, uttering the word 'Dissendium'. Then an entrance to a dark tunnel opened up, a secret passageway inside the castle that you had no idea where it led to. If you weren't confused before, you definitely were now. What on earth was Sirius up to and why did it involve a secret tunnel?

"H-How did you do that?" You asked, dumbfounded. You needed to know how Sirius knew not only that there was a secret passage in the castle, but also how to open it. "How did you know?"

"I didn't spend all these years wandering around the castle for nothing." Was the answer he gave you, winking at you before entering the secret passage. "C'mon, let's go!"

Cautiously, you followed Sirius into the tunnel, pulling out your wand to light the way as the statue returned to its original position and the light at the entrance disappeared. You kept close to him as you walked, scanning your surroundings as you tried to guess where the passageway would lead you. It seemed to have no end. No matter how far you walked, you seemed no closer to getting to the other side. The lack of lighting didn't help much, it just added a creepy vibe that gave you goosebumps. Was Sirius planning to kill you?

"Where are you taking me?" you asked him after a few minutes of silence. You felt like you had been walking forever and still hadn't reached your destination.

"You'll see."

"Are you going to kill me and leave my body abandoned here?" you joked and he let out a laugh.

"Why would I want to kill you?"

You shrugged. "To avoid confronting the fact that I'm better than you at everything."

"At everything?" He repeated, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? Because last time I checked I'm not the one desperate for dating advice."

“Shut up!” You said, hitting him on the shoulder.

“Besides, you still have to admit to everyone that I’m better than you, remember?” He reminded you of his words the day you came to him for help. At the time you didn't think he was serious, but now you weren't so sure.

"You wish." You muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes. Being friends was one thing, but indulging him by admitting that he was better than you was something you weren't willing to do.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

“That's what I thought.”

You continued walking as you laughed and joked with each other, chatting to distract yourselves from the long time you seemed to need to get to the end of that damned tunnel. As it turned out, the secret passageway connected Hogwarts to the cellar of Honeydukes. Sirius led you through the now deserted store carefully, but not before wrapping you both in the crumpled piece of cloth he had slung over his arm. He put it over your shoulders first and when you questioned him about it he pointed towards your body which had now disappeared. 

Suddenly the success of his pranks and the gift he seemed to have for wandering around the castle without being caught made sense. He had an invisibility cloak! He was a fraud! Anyone could accomplish the extraordinary things he did if they had such a wonderful and convenient object as an invisibility cloak.

You were about to let out a sarcastic comment about it, but the air caught in your throat when you felt Sirius wrap his arms around your body, pulling you close to him. His warmth enveloped you as he stretched the cloth to cover your body as well, making sure you were both protected by the magical fabric to make sure you weren't discovered. 

Walking through the streets of Hogsmeade under the limited space provided by the cloak was uncomfortable, especially when you felt Sirius' warm breath against your ear. You had to constantly remind yourself to breathe, but not too fast because then he would notice the effect his closeness had on you. You hoped he didn't already know, although the way he wrapped his arm around your waist made you think otherwise. Damn, he was good! Just a brush of his fingers on your skin and you were already sighing like half the girls at school.

"What are we doing here?" You asked as you noticed that you had stopped at a clothing store.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sirius spoke without looking at you, pulling out his wand and muttering a simple incantation to unlock the door. "We're going to find your perfect outfit."

"Couldn't we have done that when the store was open, you know, in the daylight?" you pointed out, hurrying into the store before anyone on the street could see you. You were pretty sure what you were doing was illegal. Not only had you two snuck out of the school using a secret passageway, but you had also broken into a store and were about to rummage through the inventory of clothing without permission from its owners. 

You should be terrified, for all you knew you could be expelled from Hogwarts if you were discovered —not to mention the lecture your parents would give you at home. However, there was something about Sirius that filled you with a sense of security. For some reason in your mind nothing bad could happen to you if he was by your side.

"Yeah but we would have to wait for the next trip to Hogsmeade." He responded, justifying his actions with the excuse that the normal —and legal— way would take too long. "Besides, it's more fun this way." Sirius smiled at you and you shook your head, but you couldn't help but think he was kind of right.

"So we're going to rob these people?"

"No! We can pay for what we take, don't worry." He assured you, though it sounded too casual for your liking. You were breaking into a store and he was acting like he was going through the clothes in his closet. It made you wonder how many times he had done something similar in the past.

"Now get over here and start choosing clothes!"

Once you stopped thinking about the weirdness of the situation you started to have a little fun. Sirius helped you sort through the clothes, passing you items he wanted you to try on. Some were serious and some were just to joke around with you. You had to admit that even though you normally hated shopping, the activity became infinitely more fun if Sirius was with you. 

You lost count of the time you spent inside that store, making a mess of the clothes that had been neatly folded and arranged on hangers and shelves prior to your arrival. You tried on every style and aesthetic the store had to offer, modeling each outfit for the watchful eye of Sirius, who always found something nice to say about everything you wore.

"You suck at this!" you complained with a chuckle after he complimented the color palette of a ridiculously extravagant outfit you had put on for the sole purpose of making him laugh. "You're not helping me decide at all! Give me your real opinions."

"I am! I swear!" Sirius defended himself, raising his hands in the air. "It's just that everything looks good on you, dove."

You let out an incredulous laugh, rolling your eyes to hide the true effect his words had on you. You knew he didn't mean it, but you couldn't control the rapid beating of your heart every time he blurted out a line like that.

"I'm sure you tell that to all the girls in school."

"Never! You're the only one, dove."

Shaking your head, you disappeared into the dressing room once more. You didn't want to give him the chance to continue his meaningless flirting. You didn't quite understand why he was doing it. You knew he didn't love you —not in that way at least—, so why was it so easy for him to throw those kinds of comments around like it was nothing? Was he trying to boost your confidence? Or maybe it was because he was so used to jokingly flirting with everyone that he couldn't help but do it with you too. You honestly didn't know, it was hard to read him on that aspect.

Part of you wished he would stop because even though you knew he was just joking, you found it impossible not to feel things when he would tell you how pretty you were or call you affectionate nicknames. He was getting your hopes up for nothing, making you believe that someone like him could like someone like you. It was tiring to have to constantly remind your heart not to believe anything that came out of Sirius' mouth.

You tried to keep your doubts from ruining the nice moment you were sharing, shaking the thoughts out of your head and working on putting on your next outfit. Only, when you emerged from the dressing room to show Sirius, you found that he too was wearing an outfit he had taken from the pile of messy clothes. But it wasn't just any outfit, it was one that you had discarded after wearing it for a few minutes and ruling that it looked odd on you. And the worst part was that Sirius seemed to look better in it than you.

"What are you wearing?" you asked him, chuckling as he modeled for you.

"Am I a pretty girl?" Sirius said, looking at you through his eyelashes. He did a couple of exaggerated poses while pretending to be a high fashion model, eliciting from you one of the loudest and most genuine laughs you've ever had. But you had to admit that he did look good considering the clothes weren't the right size or cut for him.

"Yes, very pretty." You complimented him as you caught your breath, rummaging through the pile of clothes for another outfit for him. "Here, try this one."

Everything spiraled out of control then. You momentarily forgot that you were trespassing in a store late at night as you played dress up with Sirius like two little kids. It had been a long time since you had felt so free and relaxed and a part of you couldn't believe that Sirius was the one who had awakened that chill side of you. Usually he would do the opposite —annoy you and stress you out to the point of insanity—, but since you had started this little experiment together he kept surprising you. 

Now that you knew each other a little better, he made you laugh and for some reason he inspired reassurance and trust. All your fears that he would make fun of you or take advantage of the situation to humiliate you were behind you. He wasn't that kind of guy, no matter how immature and silly he usually seemed. Honestly, you loved this new relationship you had, where you still maintained a certain level of healthy rivalry combined with lots of laughter and inside jokes. Even if things with Oliver didn't turn out the way you wanted them to, you were still happy because at least he had left you with a new friendship.

What you weren't happy about, however, was fixing up the store after the mess you had made. Even with magic it took quite a while to put everything back in its place, but somehow Sirius found a way to make that tedious activity fun too.

But your jokes were interrupted when you came across something that caught your eye. As you were rearranging the clothes on one of the shelves you found a dress. It was black and had long sleeves made of the most beautiful lace you had ever seen, with detailed patterns that added a special delicacy to the piece. It was truly beautiful and you didn't know how you hadn't seen it before.

"You should try it on." Sirius' voice alerted you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"No, it's okay. We should just go, it's getting late." You put the dress back in its place, stepping away from that rack to rearrange the last remaining pile of disarranged clothes. That dress was beautiful, almost too beautiful for someone like you. You didn't think you could pull it off, so you preferred not to go near it. You didn't want to destroy your self-esteem if it turned out that the dress looked bad on you.

By the time you got back to school it was so late that everyone in the castle was asleep. It wasn't difficult for you to navigate the halls of Hogwarts undetected since Sirius had one of the best inventions in the history of magic: a map that told him the exact location of all the students and teachers within the school grounds. He didn't want to give you many details about it other than that it was a project he had done with the help of his friends and you didn't press him for more. Now you understood why he had made you promise not to tell anyone about tonight. Apparently he had more than one magical artifact that was best kept secret.

"Thank you for this," you said when you reached the entrance to your common room. Sirius had insisted on accompanying you to make sure you arrived safely before heading to the Gryffindor tower. "I had a great time."

"Me too," he admitted with a smile. He had really enjoyed spending time with you. He found that he really liked the relaxed and fun version of you that he had met tonight and wanted to see more of you. "I hope that after this you will realize how beautiful you look when you are more relaxed. Laughter suits you, you should do it more often."

You remained silent for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. That familiar feeling of warmth ran through you at his words, your whole body buzzing with joy. A smile formed on your face, a genuine sign of how much you appreciated his kindness.

"Goodnight, Sirius." You gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning and disappearing behind the doors of the Slytherin common room.

Sirius stood in place for a few seconds, staring at the spot where you had just been seconds before as he felt a tingling on the skin of his cheek where you had kissed him. Your scent still lingered in the air entering his system through his nostrils and clouding his thoughts with images of your smile.

"Goodnight, dove." he murmured to the air, bringing his hand to his cheek.

He knew then that he was screwed.

You noticed something was wrong with Sirius the moment you saw him walk through the greenhouse doors. You were meeting to change the mandrake pot as you had promised him you would. It was a relatively simple process if you took the proper precautions and a job best done in silence —you wouldn't be able to hear each other anyway because of the earmuffs protecting you—, but even for that he was too quiet. He lacked his characteristic sparkle, that mischievous twinkle you always noticed in his eyes. His smile had been replaced by a frown and he was distracted. He seemed to be worried or upset about something that he couldn't stop thinking about. 

You tried to ignore him, unsure of what to do. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but you didn't want to pressure him to talk if he wasn't ready or just didn't want to. Maybe he was trying to forget whatever was bothering him and your questions would only remind him of it. But eventually curiosity got the better of you and you decided it didn't hurt to ask.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" you finally spoke up, putting aside your gloves and the earmuffs you had worn to protect yourself from the mandrake's screams once the job was done. "You seem... off today."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I... I just have a lot in my mind." Sirius said, letting out a frustrated sigh. He leaned back against the counter, shoulders slumped in a pose that showcased his mood perfectly. He was staring at the floor, as if lost in thought, and you were suddenly curious as to what was so important to have him in such a state. You'd never seen Sirius so quiet or so serious before in the years you'd known each other.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you offered, giving him the option to use you as a shoulder to cry on, a friendly ear to vent to.

"It's my family, as always." He let out a bitter laugh, lifting his head so he could look you in the eye as he spoke. You could see the pain reflected in his expression and felt the urge to hug him. You knew about his family and how troubled they were. He had never fit in with them and had ended up being kicked out of his home by his own mother. It was a sad story and you had always felt sorry for him.

“I had a fight with my brother last night and I can’t seem to let it go… They're filling his head with those horrible ideas and there's nothing I can do about it. He doesn’t want to listen to me.” 

You knew exactly what he was referring to, you had seen the people Regulus was hanging out with and sadly you shared the same concerns as his brother. Many of your peers in Slytherin were being caught up in dangerous hate speech and you completely understood Sirius' frustration about it. It hadn't yet touched you as closely as it did him - none of your friends shared those kinds of ideas - but you could imagine how painful it was for him to see his brother involved in something so horrible.

"Oh Sirius, I'm sorry." You didn't quite know what to say, there were no words that could ease his sadness or concern. You could only support him at that moment, hoping that your understanding would be enough to make him feel a little better. 

Without even realizing it, your hand slid across the table to rest on Sirius'. It was a desperate attempt on your part to show him that you were there for him, something you did without thinking. Sirius's eyes lingered on your joined hands for a few seconds, staring at them as if he found it hard to believe what he was seeing. It made you feel a little self-conscious and you considered moving your hand, but before you could do so he moved his so that he could intertwine his fingers with yours. This time it was you who looked down at your hands as you felt him give you a light squeeze. It was such an innocent act, something so common, but it still awakened that special tingling inside you. It was the first time you were holding hands and it felt... good, comforting. 

When you looked up you were met with his sweet smile. Sirius didn't need to utter words for you to understand that he was thanking you for your support, it was written all over his face. You had to fight the urge to hug him, thinking it might be too close and personal. You had a strange relationship - you weren't enemies but you weren't technically friends either - so it was hard sometimes to realize when something was too much. 

Then an idea formed in your mind. Images of your special place flashed before your eyes like a movie and you decided it was an appropriate time to show Sirius that he wasn't the only one who had extensive knowledge of the Hogwarts grounds.

"C'mon, I want to show you something." You told him, pulling his hand entwined with yours to guide him out of the greenhouse.

You didn't have to go far to get to your special secret spot, just walk down the hill until you reached the edge of the lake. There was a large tree that provided plenty of shade and between its huge roots was a comfortable hole that you liked to sit in. It was the most beautiful and peaceful place you knew in the whole school. You liked to go there when you felt overwhelmed or stressed, sitting under the shade of the tree and just think for a long time, the world always seemed better after that. You were convinced that there wasn't a single problem that couldn't be solved with a meditation session in your special place.

"Welcome to my special place!" you announced with a smile when you arrived at your destination. "Come, sit here with me." You settled into your usual spot at the foot of the big tree and patted the free space next to you inviting Sirius to join you. He stared at you for a moment, but finally sat down next to you. 

"How did you find this place?" Sirius was amazed at the beauty of the scenery around him. He obviously knew this place existed, but he had never paid attention to how beautiful and peaceful it was. There were no other students laughing and running around, just him, you and nature. 

"You're not the only one with extensive knowledge about the castle, Black." 

"So, what happens here?" He forced himself to look away from the landscape to return his gaze to you only to find that you were staring off into the horizon. The sunlight reflecting off the water of the lake illuminated the whole place in a different, more magical way, especially your profile. It gave you an ethereal aura that took his breath away for a moment. 

"We sit here and we think." You replied without taking your eyes off the birds flying through the trees on the other side of the lake. "I always come here when I'm sad or stressed out. There's something about this place that makes all my problems go away."

You sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the scenery, letting the tranquility of nature bring you inner peace. Sirius tried to push the negative thoughts from his mind, concentrating on the birds singing and the sound of the water, hoping that would be enough to make the frustration and anger that was overtaking him disappear. It wasn't working out so well, but he didn't have the heart to tell you that your special magical place wasn't as powerful as you thought it was.

Well, that was until he turned his head so he could look at you. You were completely lost in thought, gazing forward with no idea of the way Sirius was looking at you. You seemed so happy, so relaxed, that he couldn't help but feel a warm feeling spreading inside him. He found comfort in you, in the special sparkle in your eyes, in the way you cared for him despite your shared history. For Sirius, the healing magic was not in where you were, but in you.

"Things are going to get better." You broke the silence, turning to look at him. His eyes were glued to yours and you discovered that the dark patch of sadness that covered his signature cheerful glow had dimmed a bit.

"How do you know?" Sirius' voice was low, almost a whisper that you were able to hear above the noises of nature thanks to the short distance separating you. 

"I have to believe that they will. We all have to." Sirius wasn't so sure about it, he didn't have your blind optimism, but for a moment as he lost himself in the depths of your eyes he found hope. Everything seemed simple as long as you kept your eyes on him. He could face anything if you were by his side to guide his path, to hold his hand and remind him that everything would be alright. He found peace in you, something that both calmed and scared him. He was much more screwed up than he originally thought.

The more time you spent staring into each other's eyes in silence, the more the tension in the air increased. Sirius was suddenly aware of how close he was to you. He could feel the warmth of your body against his side, the touch of your leg against his and the smell of your perfume that assaulted his nose every time he took a breath. He only had to extend his hand a few inches to touch you, or lean in just a little to brush his lips against yours. Those beautiful lips of yours that tempted him since the first time he had laid his eyes on you. The same ones he had fantasized about kissing many times in the past, even when all that came out of them were insults and ironic laughter dedicated to him.

Sirius leaned towards you without even realizing what he was doing, lost in thought, mesmerized by the sight of your lips. He felt your breath against his face, mingling with his, and the touch of your nose against his. And then your lips met in a kiss that took you both by surprise. He captured your upper lip between his, reaching out his hand to grab the back of your head and pull you closer to him. You surrendered to the expert movement of his lips without putting up a fight, letting him guide you as you melted into the kiss.

Multicolored fireworks exploded behind your eyes, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy as you struggled to keep up with Sirius. It wasn't your first kiss, but it was the first time you felt wave after wave of electricity coursing through your body from one. You felt like you were flying, completely lost in the intensity of the moment. It was a special kind of high you never wanted to come down from. Sirius' lips just felt right on yours, caressing you with such passion and delicacy at the same time. It left you breathless and desperate for more. So much more. 

But the kiss was cut short as quickly as it began when Sirius suddenly pulled away from you, leaving you confused and a little stupid.

"I-I'm... I'm sorry, I-" he struggled to come up with an excuse as he realized what he had done, feeling awkward and somewhat embarrassed that he had let himself get carried away by his impulses.

"Nono, it's okay, I..." you tried to intervene as well, fighting the fog that clouded your mind to try to form a coherent sentence.

"You know what? That was practice!" Sirius blurted out without thinking, making you frown.

"Practice for what?"

"J-just f-for the next step of the plan... in case you hadn't made out with anyone in a while." Sirius didn't sound confident in what he was saying and if you were in different circumstances you might have realized that was a lame excuse he'd made up on the spot. But your mind was still a bit affected by the kiss and you couldn't think straight, so you didn't notice.

"Is that what it felt like? That I hadn't made out with anyone in a while or whatever?" You tried to sound casual so as not to let him know how much you cared about his answer. To you that had been the best kiss of your life and it hurt a little to think that it had meant nothing to him. It made sense though, Sirius had a lot of practice and a lot of girls to compare you to. He'd probably had millions of better kisses.

"Well, I'm more of a tongue guy myself." Sirius joked, trying to ease the tension in the air.

"You don't say. I think I felt it poking at my throat." You played along and you both burst out laughing. The sweet melody of Sirius' laughter traveled through the air to your ears, entering your system and filling your insides with joy. All you wanted was to hear him laugh, to make him happy so that he would forget his problems at least for a moment. Everything stopped mattering to you as you watched the characteristic happy glow return to his eyes, concentrating all your efforts on keeping him distracted for as long as possible.

"Are you giving me kissing advice, dove?" he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, as if he couldn't believe the words that had come out of your mouth. No one had ever criticized his kissing technique.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Dove, c’mon.” Sirius said, making a funny face, and you nudged him playfully.

"You need it!" You assured him with a chuckle.

“That’s how people kiss.”

“Yeah in porn maybe.” You said rolling your eyes, exaggerating things to sound more dramatic. "You know what? I'm going to be the one giving you a lesson for once. This is how girls like to be kissed." Sirius looked at you cautiously, but let you guide him into the position you wanted, intrigued by whatever it was you had in mind. You moved too, and soon you found yourselves sitting across from each other. "Close your eyes." you instructed him and he obeyed without question. "Now lean in, slowly. Let the tension build." 

Your eyes were focused on admiring the beauty of his face as Sirius moved closer and closer to you. He was the definition of masculine beauty with the sharp angles on his cheeks and those enticing lips that called out to you. His long hair framed his face perfectly, looking so silky and soft that you couldn't contain the urge to touch it. You brushed aside a couple of rebel locks that fell over his face, delicately tucking them behind his ear before letting your hand slide down to his cheek. You felt him lean a little into your touch and had to bite your lip to avoid kissing him at that moment.

The distance that separated you was shortening with every second. You could feel his breath mingling with yours, all you had to do was lean forward and you would once again be enveloped in the warmth of his body, feeling the soft caresses of his mouth on yours. You took one last look at his lips and prepared to make contact with him. Only it wasn't your lips on his, but your tongue licking his left cheek.

"Oh no you didn't!" Sirius exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and horror, bringing his hand to his face to wipe your saliva off his cheek. You let out a laugh and he couldn't help but laugh along with you. "You are a phenomenal kisser!" He joked and you gave a small nod, accepting his compliment.

“Thank you. That’s how we like it!”

“I’m taking your word for it. You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

“Never! Trust me, girls love to be kissed like that.” Sirius shook his head, as if he still couldn't believe what you had done, but he laughed with you. You had taken him by surprise and he had to admit that a part of him was a little disappointed at not feeling your lips on his again, but he couldn't deny that he was having fun.

"Are you feeling a little better?" You asked him when the laughter died down.

"Yeah, a little." He answered honestly. You had really managed to do in a couple of minutes something that even his best friends hadn't been able to do in hours: make him forget. You had an ability to get through to him that no one else had and it was nice to see you using it for good for once —instead of using it to get on his nerves like you used to. 

"Thank you, dove." You could tell by the tone of his voice that Sirius was genuinely grateful to you. Apparently your nonsense had managed to help him a little and that made you happy. It was nice to be able to give him back some of the positive energy he brought to your days since you had started your arrangement.

"Don't mention it." You shrugged, downplaying it. "Just know that I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk. And this place is yours too now if you ever need it." You rested your hand on his again and Sirius felt that tingling under his skin again as his insides filled with that warm feeling at your words of support.

Oh, he was completely screwed.

You couldn't get that kiss out of your mind. Ever since that day at the lake Sirius was all you could think about. You caught yourself looking at him when you thought he didn't see you, remembering that kiss, what you had felt as he held you, the warmth of his body enveloping you and the softness of his lips on yours. You wanted to feel it again, to experience again the sensation of pure ecstasy that took over you the moment your lips collided. His kiss had made you feel alive in a special way. You had never felt anything like it before, an electricity so intense that it coursed through your whole body, awakening every cell inside you with the simplest of touches. It was pure magic, something out of the most perfect romance novel, no one could blame you for wanting to feel it again.

But then you remembered how you had gotten into that situation in the first place. You had come to him for help in getting another boy's attention and that's what Sirius had done all along. All those cute little moments that awakened butterflies in your stomach every time you remembered them weren't real. You were fooling yourself, seeing things that weren't there. He wasn't spending time with you because he loved you, he wasn't interested in you —at least not in that way—, he was just holding up his end of the bargain. Sure, you had improved your relationship considerably since all this had started, but you had to keep in mind that if it wasn't for your proposal you would still be fighting every chance you got.

Sirius wasn't in love with you and you weren't in love with him. You were just confused because you weren't used to getting that kind of attention from a guy —especially not from a guy like Sirius. Your heart belonged to Oliver, it had for the past three years and that wasn't going to change because of a silly kiss that hadn't meant anything anyway. You had to focus on what was important, what you had worked so hard to get: the date with Oliver. Once you finally managed to get it your mind would be able to focus on that and then you'd realize that your feelings for Sirius were just temporary.

So that's exactly what you did. You mustered all your courage, remembering every lesson you'd learned over the past few weeks, and looked for the perfect opportunity to talk to Oliver. The moment presented itself in Potions class. By sheer luck you ended up being paired up to work on a project together and you took advantage of the opportunity to start a conversation with him.

For the first time in three years you were able to form coherent sentences in front of him, alternating between comments about the project you were working on and casual small talk. The nerves and fear that usually overcame you when he was around were gone, allowing your personality to surface. You spent the entire class chatting and laughing as if you were lifelong friends. As it turned out, Oliver was a really nice guy and really easy to talk to when you didn't overthink every single thing you were going to say to him. You thought Sirius would be proud of you if he could see you acting so relaxed and free. 

That's when you realized that he could probably see you since Gryffindor and Slytherin shared a Potions class, so you looked up to find him among the groups of students. Your eyes found him at the back of the room, sitting next to James as they worked on their potion. Your eyes met for a moment and you gave him a victorious smile, a silent way of letting him know that things between you and Oliver were going well. You thought that after all the time he had spent preparing you for this moment he would be happy to know that his efforts had paid off. You expected him to smile back or even give you a thumbs up in support, but he simply looked away and turned his attention back to the brew he was preparing with his friend. 

You frowned, puzzled by his attitude. Was he angry with you? Had you done something to upset him? He couldn't possibly be mad at you because you were talking to Oliver, could he? That was ridiculous! He was probably in a bad mood about something else that had nothing to do with you. It was most likely about his brother, maybe they were fighting again and that's why he was acting strange. You had to stop obsessing about Sirius and focus on what really mattered.

You tried to ignore your concerns about Sirius at least until the class was over, returning your attention to Oliver and the story he was telling you. You worked and laughed for the rest of the lesson, turning in a perfect potion at the end of the hour. And as you gathered your things and prepared to leave the room you realized you had to make your move. It was now or never. So you summoned all your courage and asked Oliver if he'd like to go out with you sometime.

For some reason you fully expected him to refuse. That voice inside your head that loved to overthink everything you did and imagine the most catastrophic and improbable scenarios kept telling you that it was too fast. You had only shared one successful conversation and you were already asking him out on a date. It had been a mistake and you had to take it back immediately! 

But that voice in your mind was muted when Oliver accepted your offer with a smile.

You stood in your place for a moment, watching Oliver leave the room with the rest of your classmates as your brain tried to process what had just happened. You had spent so much time imagining that moment that now it didn't feel real. A part of you thought it was an overly realistic dream that you were going to wake up from at any moment, though the illusion was shattered when your eyes met Sirius' as he left the room. It was only for a second, but it was enough to leave a bitter taste in your mouth. 

Why did his presence affect you so much?

"Ann, you're not going to believe this!" You exclaimed in excitement when you found your friend in the crowd of students walking through the halls to their respective classes. You pushed her to the side to get a little more privacy, waiting for a group of second year students to pass by to give her the big news. "I got the date!" you said, emphasizing the word 'the' so she understood what you meant. 

"With Sirius? I thought you guys were already dating." Your best friend's response took you by surprise. Why would she think you and Sirius were dating?

"What? No! Sirius and I are not dating. Why would you think that?"

"Oh." She murmured, genuinely surprised. "It's just you guys are spending so much time together lately and look so happy all the time that I just assumed you were dating and were keeping it a secret." She shrugged. "Plus there's that one time I found you two at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop."

“That didn’t mean anything. He was just helping me get a date with Oliver.”

“Oliver? You still like that guy?”

“What’s wrong with him? I thought you liked him.”

“I do! He’s a nice guy, but…” Ann trailed off, like she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest waiting for her to say whatever was on her mind.

"But what?" You pressed her, noticing she wasn't going to speak.

"I just think Sirius it's better for you, that's all." You scrunched up your nose at her words. How could Sirius be better for you when just a couple of weeks ago you weren't able to hold a conversation without fighting like little kids? It was ridiculous, and honestly you were starting to get tired of the universe continuing to insert him in the middle of everything. Oliver was the guy you wanted, not Sirius, was that so hard to understand?

“That’s ridiculous! Plus, Sirius doesn’t even like me like that. We are just now starting to get along, I’m not even sure if he even considers me his friend.”

“You’re joking, right?” Ann looked at you as if she couldn't believe the words coming out of your mouth, something that only added to your confusion. "Have you seen the way he looks at you? That guy is head over heels for you." You let out a laugh that echoed throughout the hallway, but died down when you saw the serious expression on your friend's face. She couldn't be serious, could she? There was no way Sirius had feelings for you.

"That's a good one!" You patted her shoulder, congratulating her as if she had told the funniest joke you'd ever heard.

"I'm being serious, dummy! I've seen you two together and there's no way he doesn't have feelings for you."

"Then you're seeing things!" you exclaimed before turning around and starting to walk to your next class. You no longer wanted to hear what your friend had to say. You had gotten the date you had been dreaming of all this time, why couldn't she just be happy for you? Why did she have to make everything so complicated?

"And do you know what else I think?" She insisted, walking up behind you and raising her voice a little to make sure you heard her. "I think you have feelings for him too but you're too stubborn to admit it."

You decided to ignore her, but her words echoed in your mind for the rest of the day. Could she be right? Could you be in love with Sirius? It sounded ridiculous, something completely impossible. But then you remembered that kiss you had shared by the lake shore. You remembered the tension in the air, the softness of his lips on yours, the way he had held you close to him and the waves of electricity coursing through your body. You weren't sure if you were in love with him, but you couldn't deny that there was a spark between you that was much stronger and intriguing than your relationship with Oliver. Maybe you were too stubborn or too scared to call it for what it was, but it was evident that it was there and apparently everyone could tell. Everyone but the two of you.

You felt like your head was going to explode from so much overthinking and questioning what you were feeling. It was driving you crazy and you weren't even able to come to a conclusion. Every time you were close to finding the answers you were looking for a new voice would pop up in your mind and ruin all your progress with its comments. You were so wrapped up in denial that it was impossible for you to understand how you truly felt.

So you decided to stop worrying about it. If you had learned anything in the last few weeks, it was that everything was so much easier when you turned your brain off for a while, relaxed and let things flow. You had time to figure out your feelings and think about what to do about them. Right now all you had to do was celebrate because your plan had worked. You had gotten that date with Oliver and that was all that mattered.

In the spirit of your new decision you didn't worry about what hidden message could be behind the strange note you got from Sirius asking you to meet him at your special place. You two hadn't spoken in the last few days. The last contact you'd had with him was in Potions class when he practically ignored you. The cryptic message he had left for you inside one of your books made you curious, wondering the reasons behind his interest in meeting you at your special place. However, you tried not to think too much about it, limiting yourself to showing up at the right place and time to hear from his own mouth whatever it was he wanted instead of driving you crazy imagining the worst.

"Hey!" you greeted Sirius awkwardly, feeling a strange tension in the air that took you back to the events of the last time you had been there. He was sitting in the exact same spot as that time, waiting for you to occupy the empty space next to him. "I got your message. Why did you want to meet here?"

"Oh I just wanted to talk to you. We haven't done that in a while." He gave you a smile, but you noticed it wasn't reflected in his eyes. You wondered if maybe that was because the situation with his brother had gotten worse. Maybe that was the reason he wanted to talk to you, after all, you had promised him that you would be there for him when he needed you. 

You took a seat in the empty slot next to him, hoping that the conversation would focus on his family once again. However, the next words out of his mouth took you by surprise. 

"I saw you talking to Oliver the other day." You froze, your brain short-circuiting as you tried to think of how to respond. 

"Y-yeah, I was... I was talking to him." You responded awkwardly. Why was it so weird for you to talk about Oliver with Sirius now? You didn't seem to have a problem with it just a couple of days ago. What had changed? "It went pretty well. I got a date." You smiled, but your smile didn't show in your eyes either.

"That's great, dove! I'm really happy for you." He almost sounded sincere, but you had heard the real joy in his voice too many times in the last few weeks to recognize when he was faking it. His voice was low and quiet, as if he struggled to utter those words. Your friend's voice echoed in your mind and for a moment you wondered if she might be right.

"I have something for you." Sirius' voice snapped you out of your thoughts. He turned for a moment and it was then that you noticed the package resting on one of the large tree roots. "Let's say it's a graduation gift." He added, handing you the package.

You carefully unwrapped the gift, discovering a black piece of fabric inside. But it wasn't just any piece of fabric, when you held it in your hands you realized it was a dress. It was that dress you liked so much but hadn't had the courage to try on when Sirius took you shopping. You froze in place, your eyes traveling from the delicate piece of clothing in your hands to Sirius' face, who was looking at you expectantly.

"I saw the way you were looking at it at the store so I went back and I bought it for you. I don't know why you didn't try it on at the time, but I'm sure it'll look great on you."

You were speechless, your brain unable to put into words how much that small gesture meant to you. He had noticed. He had seen the sparkle in your eyes as you admired that dress in the store. He looked at you when you didn't notice and paid attention to every detail. That thought alone made your heart race. He cared about you, it wasn't a product of your imagination or your heart getting confused. Sirius truly cared for you.

"Sirius, I... You didn't have to..." you struggled to say, trying to find the words to describe what you felt. You didn't know why such a simple gift moved you so much. You supposed it was the principle of the thing, the thought behind it. That dress was a perfect summary of your relationship, a delicate and intricate piece of fabric that you refused to try on out of fear. And just like that dress, you too were afraid to try things out with Sirius. Both were unfamiliar territory for you so you preferred to avoid them rather than face them. 

But Sirius seemed to have a different idea.

"Of course I did! I just knew you would look beautiful in it and I need it for you to have it." Sirius sounded so convinced that for a moment you felt confident, forgetting your fears about the dress. He looked at you with such adoration that there was no way you could feel any different. He gave you all the confidence you needed. Everything was so much easier when Sirius was by your side holding your hand and saying exactly what you needed to hear. He was good for you.

“Maybe you can wear it to your date.”He couldn't hold your gaze when he said that, averting his eyes to the lake that reflected the beautiful orange colors of the sunset in its waters. The idea of wearing that dress in front of anyone but him felt wrong. That outfit was your little secret, your special gift - just like that place was.

It was then that you understood what you had to do. It was time to put denial and fear aside and face reality. You had feelings for Sirius and that wasn't going to change because you forced yourself to be with someone else. It wasn't fair to Oliver or Sirius, and it definitely wasn't fair to you. Even if things didn't turn out the way you hoped, you deserved to explore your feelings for him without fear.

"I don't know. To be honest, I don't know if I want to go out with Oliver anymore."

Sirius returned his gaze to your face, a frown drawn into his expression. "What do you mean? Wasn't that all that you wanted?"

"I used to, yes. But lately I've been thinking about this other guy... he's a real charmer, I can't seem to get him out of my head. It's a tough situation because I used to hate him, but I had the opportunity to get to know him better and I think I'm falling for him." Sirius looked at you with his eyes full of doubt for a moment, refusing to listen to what his heart thought you were saying. But then you smiled at him and he understood your hint.

"I think I know who you're talking about. Is he by any chance the most handsome guy in Gryffindor?" The characteristic cheerful twinkle returned to his eyes as well as a mischievous grin that got a chuckle out of you.

"Maybe." You played dumb. "He's also a huge dork, but I kind of love him for it." This time it was Sirius that let out a chuckle, throwing his head back as his body shook with laughter.

"Well, then you're in luck because this handsome dork is also in love with you."

You shared a meaningful look that was stronger than anything you could say to each other at that moment. And then, just like that other day at the lake, Sirius leaned toward you and pressed his lips to yours. It was a much longer kiss than the first one you shared, one that you both could enjoy in the moment given that it wasn't the product of an impulsive decision. You both wanted it, you longed for it from the moment you parted after your first kiss. 

Sirius' hands framed your face, pulling you closer to him. He needed to feel you against his body, to feel your warmth enveloping him. He had missed the feel of your lips on his, caressing his mouth so delicately. He had spent every second since that kiss cursing himself, fearing that he might never feel you so close to him again. His world had crumbled when he saw you talking to Oliver in Potions class, thinking he had pushed the girl he liked into the arms of another guy. He hated to think that anyone but him could have the chance to caress your lips. They were made just for him to kiss, no one else could touch them.

But now that he had you back in his arms all his concerns disappeared, fading away thanks to the intoxicating mixture of your perfume and the sensation of your lips on his, moving so gracefully together that he couldn't help but think that you were meant to be together.

"Since we're being honest, I have a confession to make." Sirius spoke as you broke apart, struggling to catch his breath. "I never needed help with Herbology, I just needed an excuse to spend more time with you."

"What?" you exclaimed in surprise. You didn't see that one coming. "Then whose plant was that?"

"It was Peter's. He sucks at Herbology." Sirius admitted and you let out a chuckle as you shook your head, unable to believe what you were hearing. 

But your laughter died down as a realization hit you. "Wait a minute. You liked me before all this?" Sirius just nodded, as if such a revelation wasn't important.. "So why were you being such a jerk to me?"

"It was fun, it's very easy to get on your nerves." He shrugged. "Plus, you look adorable when you're angry."

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for saving my grandchild's life?

After the brutal murder of my mother several years ago, I ([redacted]F) have been trying my best to lead this continent in the best way I can think of to avoid such a tragedy happening again. Given the horrific nature of her death as part of a genocide led against our people, all I have left is some... relics related to her, one of which is a very precious... stone. I'm not going to go into details here, but over the course of the years since her death, I believed I had found a way to revive her using this stone. I created a series of homonculi in the hopes that, given a vessel, the remnants of my mother housed within this stone could come back to life. This turned out not to be true; instead of becoming a living recreation of my mother, the homonculi developed their own personalities. This was disappointing, but I accepted that perhaps some things just weren't meant to be, and allowed them to live as normal humans. The last of my attempts, my now-beloved daughter S (20F), had a weak heart, and so I realised that removing the stone from her body would be life-threatening. It seems the strange properties of my mother's stone have the side effect of stimulating a proper heart rhythm. I, of course, have made her aware of this, as I feel like it would be wrong to hide such crucial medical information from her. Recently, S has fallen in love with and married the captain of my personal army, J ([redacted]M), a young man of great character, who has saved my own life before. When I heard they were expecting a child, I was overjoyed. Unfortunately, S's weak constitution made the pregnancy incredibly difficult for her. It was clear she would not survive the birth and, when her child was born without a heartbeat, she begged me to take the stone from her heart and use it to save her baby. Although distraught, I complied with my daughter's final wishes and managed to save the child (B, 0X). It seems, however, that using the stone on a natural-born human may have had some interesting effects. Not once has anyone heard the child cry, or even so much as whimper. Frankly, I can understand why this might be unsettling, especially in a new-born, but considering the child is otherwise perfectly healthy, I don't believe this is anything to worry about. J, though, refuses to understand this. I suspect his response is likely due to the grief of losing his wife (he does not seem to recognise that I have also lost my daughter) combined with the stress of becoming a first-time single father. I have been doing my best to assist with the child (my grandchild!), but he is accusing me of having done "something terrible" to the baby and insinuating that I chose to kill my beloved S. I know this situation is hard on him, but it's hard on me, too, and I don't know how to explain to him that all I did was follow his wife's dying wishes to save the child's life. Since he seems to be determined that I am somehow at fault for this, I have to ask: AITA?

Edit: A fire broke out in the monastery last night. Although it was brought under control, both J and B have disappeared without a trace. I fear the worst.

[absoluteindulgence]

A/N: HEEEEY YOU GUYSSSSSS, I POPPED THESE HEADCANONS OUT OF NOWHWEREEEE. I KNOW ITS BEEN A WHILE, DONT COME FOR ME JUST READ AND TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LIKE IT LOL🤎✨️✨️✨️ I will say tho I wrote this from my phone because like the goofy I am, I spilled water on my laptop and gotta get it replaced🤭 So any edits I need to make will be in the near future🤎 Also Ironically I'm posting this 4:44PM☺️

Toji with Yoga!Girlfriend

SFW

He's learned what it means to be calm. You would meditate around him and at first he would always want to break your focus but afterward he'd sit with you and just breathe. He found it extremely calming when a rush of anger would wash over him.

He's in awe at the many Yoga Poses you can do and how focused you are when executing them. He's worked hard to bulk up his body but he can't say that he's as balanced as you. Which is why he has so much respect for you too.

Let's be real, you're over here talking about the healing power of crystals and he does not believe in none of that shit. It takes for him to have an out-of-the-blue migraine to do your "mumbo jumbo shit" on him and he might only admit that for a second, it worked. But he believes just laying in your lap is what did the trick.

You smell so fucking nice. You're the type to use essential oils more than perfume and it shows. Any scent that you're using that day is stuck to you and becomes your natural scent. One that's so pleasant it keeps Toji in your space more than usual.

You're highly intentional with your actions and he can sense it. You have this layer of love, honesty, and devotion that keeps him on his toes. It's hard to make him breathless but you're such a wonderful woman that he looks to you for comfort in more than just the sexual sense. You've proven to be a great pillar in his life and he's smitten by you based on how you're so open to loving him and in return, he provides the love and protection you desire. In his way, he'll cheerily thank a star for aligning you "or some shit" together. You give him a level of stability he's never seen or had in a very long time.

NSFW

Now this man has spun the block a couple of times but damn would he feel like there are way too many new experiences with you.

This man did not know what Kegels were until you showed him on one particular rainy day. This was closer to the beginning of your relationship and you would say, "Hey Babe, let's try something new" You're ideas usually come out more good than bad so he doesn't deny you. The first time you tighten yourself around him, the face he makes is voided of all smugness, it's a culmination of shock and humor. "Fuck, Treasure... How are you doing that????" His brows furrow too tight as he comprehends real "Pussy Power". Let's just say thunderstorms weren't the only thing to erupt.

The massages you give this man always lead him to visit heaven. You touch him in ways that he thought were just simple and had no other meaning than its initial reaction. Every graze from your fingertips stimulates his mind further than what he's expected to feel. His stiffy gets all twitchy, and the usual tense and ready-to-defend muscles relax. He instantly exhales when touched by you. Your hands are so skilled, you gently graze over all the sensitive spots he has and treat them with delicate consideration heightening his experience. The way your fingers caress the tip of his manhood trailing down the shaft, with a gentle kneading of his swollen, ready-to-burst balls is enough to get the most intense guttural groans ever known out of him.

You create such sensual atmospheres for him that he's taken aback. Incense or aroma diffusers, slow jams playing at a low volume in the back, you bought these twinkling lights for a dreamy effect, and after a while they leave him charmed to say the least.

This goes without saying but he loves to watch you stretch. It's a reminder of the limits he can set on your body since you prep every day. He's eager to see which way you'll bend for him just to get to that right spot. Arch perfectly sloped, HAMMERTIME. Sucking him off while doing a bridge, how many kids you want? Or something as simple as tucking your legs behind your head? You're in trouble for the rest of the night!

The worst of it all is you introducing him to Kamasutra... You told him you want to do every position. No matter how weird or uncomfortable it might be and man, you wore this man out one night in particular. It's the first time during sex that he's ever tapped out and you paid for it in the next sex session lol

[wiypt-writes]

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

A Frank Adler One Shot.

Summary: It’s Frank’s wedding night… but you’re not quite ready to let him go just yet.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+) allusions to cheating…

Pairings:  Frank Adler x Reader

A/N: Just a little smutty one shot featuring everyone’s favourite Dirty Boat Daddy. Written for @onlyjamesbarnes 1.5k Follower Challenge. Prompt in bold. Congrats babe!!

Lyrics from Fall Out Boy- Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

Frank Adler Master list // Main Masterlist

❤️💔♥️💔♥️💔♥️💔♥️💔♥️💔♥️💔

I'm gonna make you bend and break,

Say a prayer, but let the good times roll

In case God doesn't show…

Frank had always been powerless to resist you. He was a moth to your flame, but like always, you play with fire and you get burnt.

But now, you were the one burning, burning hotter than the sun.

With a groan, you ground your hips down as you leaned back, rolling and rocking down onto him. That face, sharp chiselled jawline covered by a slightly nearer than usual scruff looked back at you, his perfect profile silhouetted against the moonlight which drifted through the curtains of the hotel room.

How could something that wrong feel so fucking right?

And I want these words to make things right, But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life.

"Who does he think he is?"

If that's the worst you've got, better put your fingers back to the keys

He shouldn’t have let you in, but you knew he would as soon as he fired you the message with his room number. Your signature knock had sounded across the plush suite he was spending his last night as a ‘single’ man in, and like a sacrificial lamb welcoming its slaughter, he’d opened the door.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“I wanted to see you.” You blinked up at him. He was still in his slacks and dress shirt, from the rehearsal you’d sat through, tie discarded, collar open. He cut a stark contrast to the boat greased and oil stained, salty air cured man you were used to.

He held the door open for you, stepping back and allowing you in. Without a word you walked over to the grand windows the space provided, offering a look at the shoreline outside and below. The view was breathtaking at night, the moonlight shining off the waves as they lapped at the shore, mere metres away from where tomorrow he would take his vows.

Through the reflection of the window behind you, you could see him just as his hands gripped at your waist. You turned on the ball of your foot, manicured fingers running up his chest from his strong pecs to his collarbones and over his shoulders to around his neck, your lips quickly on his. Your tongue slipped inside, tasting a hint of scotch, a half drunk glass of which sat on the small coffee table to the right. Frank moaned against your mouth while your fingers slipped through the neatly trimmed hair of his neck.

You pushed against him slightly with your body, the back of his legs hitting the chair besides the coffee table and he took a seat, breaking your kiss.

“This shouldn’t-“

“Shhh.” You shook your head. “Just give me tonight, please.”

He stared at you with lust blown eyes, different to the playful glint he normally possessed when he used to look at you, as you thought for a second about your next move, bottom lip already swollen from his kiss between your teeth.

You knew he was a goner.

"Y/N," he managed to croak out as you straddled his lap, seating yourself over his now hard cock, the rough fabric of his dark dress pants constraining him, giving you just enough teasing friction agasint your sensitive inner thighs. His large hands slid up your thighs and under your light coloured, flowy dress as you moved your lips over his again, giving him access to your ass, finger tips grazing the barely there material of your panties.

You ground down against him, your hips rolling in a circular motion as he growled into your mouth, squeezing your cheeks with his hands. You kicked off your sandals, making a thud as they hit the plush carpet. A sound that matched that of your heart. A heart that squeezed in your chest, as if someone had wound and elastic band around its middle knowing that tomorrow you’d watch him takes his vows.

And everything would change.

Frank broke away from your lips, to lick and nip at your jaw and down your neck, tongue rolling against your sternum. His face drilled between your breasts, inhaling your scent.

Your fingers found the buttons of his shirt and plucked them open skillfully, French manicured nails raking across his chest, causing him to shudder and groan. You reached for the buckle of his belt, undoing it with little trouble, lifting your hips slightly, showing a strength in your thighs as you lifted away from him, to undo his flies. You adjusted yourself, pushing up on your knees just a little to allow the room you needed to dip your hand just under his boxers waistline, gently gripping at his dick.

“No, not here.” He growled, teeth nipping at the shell of your ear. “I want you in the bed.”

The bed. Where he would spend his first night as a married man.

It was so wrong.

Yet you happily obliged.

It was a well practiced tango the pair of you had danced over the years, and now here you were, him keening underneath you with a desperation you’d come to know well.

You could feel his cock pulsing against your walls and it gave you the chills. You held the power and control as he struggled to keep his.

With a quick movement, Frank sat up, pulling you flush against his chest, the angle hitting you just at that pleasurable spot he always managed to hit within you. His head dropped, lips and teeth gently teasing your nipple, large hands splayed agains your spine as he lavished you with affection.

You started grinding down harder, looking for that clitoral stimulation you wanted and as you found it, he moaned deeply into your ear.

“I’m close, but I don’t wanna… not yet.” His words were a plea, a plea that he wasn’t ready to end, and you knew he didn’t simply mean tonight.

But it had to. There was no way around it.

One night and one more time, thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great

"He tastes like you only sweeter"

"Just...let...go," you purred against him.

"Oh fahk," he ground out as his feet planted firmly into the mattress and his hips thrust upward. It didn't take much, a few strong and hard drives and you were crying out his name, your head thrown back in ecstasy as you came around around him.

"Jesus, fahkk, I'm gonna fahking.... Oh fahk," he swore vehemently, his old Boston drawl thick as he drove hard into you for a final time, exploding his load deep into you, spraying your walls with ribbons of white cream.

The pair of you collapsed onto the bed, utterly spent. Frank kept you held to his chest as you both drew ragged, heaving breaths. After a moment, Frank pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, no words needed.

And you blinked back a solitary tear.

*****

I'm looking forward to the future, but my eyesight is going bad.

And this crystal ball, it’s always cloudy except for when you look into the past

One night stand

Frank had fallen asleep with you in his arms, not quite ready to let you go. But you were long gone by the time he woke the next morning, the only evidence you’d been in his room was a scribbled note on the pad on the night stand.

“Here’s to the first day of the rest of your life.”

He’d folded the note up and slipped it into his breast pocket, not quite sure why. Maybe it would keep you close to him in those moments he needed to feel you, who knows.

Who knows why any of this had started in the first place.

He watched Mary walk down the aisle first, her bouquet in her hand had been dropped as she had leapt into his arms for a hug, laughing as she told him how excited she was. He’d kissed her cheek and placed her down and she stood by his side, watching as his bride and her father started towards him.

It was then Frank’s eyes had found yours as you watched him, and he swallowed, his chest contracting.

He could still feel your eyes on him and he couldn’t get the image of you bouncing on top of his cock out of his head. He blinked as someone said his name, and he looked at the officiant, clearing his throat.

“Sorry, little nervous.” He apologised, flashing a cheeky grin before he took a deep breath.

A couple of I-Dos later, he was told to kiss his wife. So he did.

And all he could taste was you.

Man and wife walked hand in hand down the aisle to applause, and at the end they stopped and the new Mrs Adler peered up at Frank, a soft smile on her face.

“You happy?”

“Of course.” He smiled back.

“Good, because choosing me to spend your life with, well, I actually think it’s the second best choice you’ve ever made in your life.”

Frank blinked as he heard the click of the photographer's camera. “Oh? The second? What was the first?”

“Letting me into your room last night.” You grinned, your hand sliding up his tux, the diamond studded band catching the sun, glinting in the bright light.

Frank grinned at you, before he arched his eyebrow. “Time will tell if it really was bad luck to see my wife the night before.”

“Didn’t feel like bad luck to me,” you smirked, you hand gently tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck as he dropped his head to kiss you, the cheers and applause once more chiming in your ears.

One night and one more time, thanks for the memories

[hogwartsmarvelmommy]

Anger Issues 🔥(h.h)

Warnings: smut. (Fingering, oral m-receving, unprotected sex, degradation, little bit of Dom!harry) lazertag (idk if that's a warning) swearing.

Word count: 2.6k

Masterlist

Join my Taglist ❤️

You stood with your back against the wall, you were listening for one voice, one in particular.

“Hell mate, didn't even see ya there,” he laughed.

You raised your gun and jumped out aiming for the sensor on his chest and firing. It took you a few tries, but you managed to hit it at least once powering down his gun.

“Y/N!” Harry groaned as you ran the opposite direction. “We're on the same team you dork,” He yelled.

You jumped behind a large wall, ducking down, so he couldn't find you. You had only agreed to this for one reason, and it was to torment Harry, which seemed to be working flawlessly.

"Y/n," Tom's voice was directly behind you causing you to jump and squeak.

"Thomas," you hissed, hitting him lightly on the shoulder. "Can't sneak up on me like that, m'hiding from Baz," you told him, peeking over the wall to see if you could spot him.

"He's on our team y'know," he chuckled.

"Doesn't mean I can't destroy him," you winked at him letting out a giggle before making a run towards another structure. Truth be told, this was all you had wanted when the idea of Laser Tag had been brought up that morning. It brought you pure joy to be a nuisance to Harry, to find his deepest buried nerve and pick at it until he would break. He knew it too, he knew you loved to be the reason he would crack. Harry angry and red hot in the face, that, well it just did something to you, and the way he would choose to take out that anger, whew. You were determined today, to get him to the point of no return, to the point where he had no choice. So as soon as you caught sight of his luscious auburn curls you jumped out, firing the gun and hitting the censor in the middle of his back. "gotcha," you said, sending him a wink.

"Y/n, y/l/n, I swear to fucking god-" he huffed, trudging forward towards you.

"S'not good to swear to God Baz," you teased. He continued towards you until he had you pushed against the wall, the censor vest digging into your back.

"The next time you shoot me, I will make you regret it," he seethed. You nodded quickly, biting your bottom lip. He went to walk away, and right as he did, you fired again, hitting his back censor a second time.

He turned towards you quickly, eyes narrowing, and you could see the red hue of his cheeks even in the dimly lit arena. "Oops," you giggled, dropping your gun and raising your hands in defense.

"You're coming with me," he growled, grabbing your wrist and pulling you behind him towards the exit.

"Oi, what are you doing? We have like 15 minutes left," Tom yelled after you.

"Sorry, you can beat them on your own, right?" You asked, right before Harry tugged you through the door. He pushed you to the wall, standing tall in front of you as he unbuckled your vest, slipping it off your head, and then doing the same with his.

"C'mon," he demanded. The velocity of his voice sent a shiver down your spine as you followed closely.

You were so thankful your hotel room was just a short elevator ride up. You stood silently in the elevator, eyes trained on Harry as he glared daggers at you.

"Could have won, if you hadn't fucked off," he mumbled.

"C'mon Baz, you think I cared about the game?" You asked him, raising your eyebrows in his direction.

The elevator dinged, opening the door to your floor before you were being led to the room the two of you were sharing.

No one knew the things that you and Harry had been taking part in the last few months, honestly you weren't sure what they would think. It had started one night after a bad football game, he was so angry, and it had turned you on beyond belief. You don't remember what exactly happened, but you do remember the second his fingers found their way to your panties you were both done for. Ever since that night, whenever he would get heated, you were there waiting, waiting to take his release, to ease the built up tension, and then after, you were both completely different people. He would clean you up, cuddle with you and send countless praises in your ears.

Was it a dangerous game to be playing? Probably.. Did you ever want it to end? Absolutely not!

Harry opened the door swiftly, pushing you in. "Harry," you giggled as you nearly tripped on one of the suitcases that you had scattered on the floor.

"Oops," he chuckled, steadying you. "Now get into that bed," he instructed.

"Yes sir," you winked before rushing to the bed.

"Why do you have to be such a.." he walked forward grabbing your jaw and turning your face up to him. "a little fucking brat?" He demanded.

You giggled as he outlined your lips with his thumb, pushing it inside your mouth.

If there was one thing that had completely taken you by surprise with Harry, it was how assertive he was in bed. The boy who quite literally seemed like an angel in every aspect of his life, would absolutely wreck you anytime he had the chance. Of course he wouldn't cross any lines you set, but if you gave him the go ahead he would push you until you just couldn't take anymore.

"Gonna be a good girl tonight?" He asked you, a fire burning in his eyes.

"Nope," you mumbled with his thumb still in your mouth.

"Gonna be a little brat?" He asked.

"Mmm," you moaned, sucking on his digit.

"Know what brats get?" He asked you. "Brats don't get all the sweet warming up, no," he pushed you back onto the bed, flipping you to your stomach. "Brats get it straight to the point," he grumbled, practically ripping your leggings from your body and pulling you onto your knees. His fingers quickly found their way to your dripping core, “My good little slut,” he cooed before shoving a finger in with no warning. “Always ready for me,”

You hummed in response as his finger grazed your sweet spot. Harry knew your body like the back of your hand and he knew how to bring you right to the edge, and then quickly back you away. He pulled his finger out of your clenching core, leaving you feeling needy and empty. “Baz,” you groaned.

“What?” He asked you, a cocky smirk on his face. “You thought I was going to let you finish? After tanking the game?” Your mouth dropped open as you were getting ready to say something, but too quickly his hand found its way around your throat squeezing only hard enough to elicit an almost pornographic moan from you. “You drive me fucking crazy,” He growled into your ear. “But you also make my heart skip a beat when i think of those pretty lips around my cock,” you were shocked at the turn he had taken, but

You couldn't lie to yourself, it had you clenching around nothing, wishing for some relief from him. “Put it in my mouth then,” You instructed looking into his soft, warm brown orbs through your dramatically long lashes.

“Oh yeah?” He asked, excitement clear in his voice, “Want me to fuck your face, love?” you couldn't help the moan that left your lips with the use of the pet name, you and harry usually kept things pretty casual, no ‘baby’ or ‘babe’ but specifically no ‘love’. So to hear the name slip past his lips had your heart (and your pussy) wanting more.

“Yes Harry, Please,” You practically begged. He helped you into a sitting position, hand moving from where it had been positioned on your neck to the hem of your shirt quickly stripping you of any clothes that remaned. He followed it up by doing the same, standing fully nude in front of you, cock in his hand as you readied your lips. He took a step towards you as you looked up to see the lust in his eyes as he rubbed his tip on your lips.

"Gonna take it all?" He asked, bringing his hand up to rub his thumb across your cheek. You licked your lips before opening them as he slowly pushed himself into your mouth. You didn't really care for it, a cock in your mouth, but the look on harry's face made you want it, you would do it forever just to see the lust and relief that graced his face with every thrust against your face, the moans that would leave his lips as you would swirl your tongue around his tip when he pulled back, only to push back in with more force, making tears gather in the corner of your eyes. Tears he would wipe away as he whispered how good you were for him, and he would continue his movements until you felt him twitching on your tongue, his cum dripping down your throat, before pulling away, only to wipe your lips of any excess mess that had been made.

"You know your fucking beautiful?" He asked, before bringing his lips down to yours. His lips met yours with a feverish fire, that was almost too much. Any time the two of you would get to this point you would end up feeling upset, because in the grand scheme of things, Harry was it for you, god did you love him, and all of this fooling around wasn't helping any.

Harry's hands found their way to the nape of your neck, before he laid you back and climbed above, lips trailing down your jaw and neck attaching to your nipples as he let his hands wander between your thighs. You wished you could tell him just how badly you wanted him, wanted more. The hookups were nice, perfect, and the aftercare was next level, but you wanted the sleepy cuddly Harry, and The date night Harry.. you wanted every aspect of him.

His fingers teased at your entrance while his thumb drew little circles around your clit. You moaned out his name, finally relieved to be getting some stimulation. "I want to try something different," he mumbled.

"What?" You wondered.

"I want to make love to you," he said shyly. You pulled yourself up to your elbows as you stared shocked at him.

"You- what?"

"We're always going at it like it's the last time, and it's great, but I just want to savor it, savor you, just this once," he explained. You reached out, grabbing him and pulling him up to you as you slammed your lips together.

"Make Love to me then," you mumbled against his lips.

He moved your hands, interlocking your fingers with his before placing them above your head as he kissed you with more passion than you had ever experienced. His tongue flicked against your bottom lip, and you opened letting him in. It was different, and not in a bad way, you had made out with Harry countless times, whether it be in the heat of the moment, a drunk night, or a late night hookup, but this… This felt like more.

"God I love your lips," he whispered as he pulled away from the kiss, reaching down to caress your cheek. The use of the word 'love' leaving you with butterflies in your belly. His hands trailed down your body slowly, as his eyes did the same. "I feel like your body was meant for me," he told you. "The curve of your hips, the way your breasts feel in my hands, how your hair cascades down your back, the way you cling to me while I'm making you mine," he sighed as he looked back up to you. "It's as if someone wrote out the perfect match for me, and they put your name down," he whispered.

You felt tears rush to your eyes, unsure of what he was trying to get at. "Harry," you whispered.

He leaned back down, bringing his face dangerously close to yours, noses touching. You could feel the heat of his breath on your lips, "I want more, I want you," he said before closing the distance.

You were sure you were dreaming. This couldn't be real. He grabbed your hips as he positioned himself between your thighs, not breaking away from your lips. You felt him slowly push into you, bottoming out, before making any other movements. Slow wasn't exactly your thing, sure slow and steady wins the race, but you preferred the fast paced sex that you and Harry usually had, but in that moment, as his lips devoured yours, and his hips met yours gently and slowly, you felt pure Bliss. It wasn't rushed, trying to edge each other on, it wasn't a hidden agenda, just the two of you, lost in each other, lips colliding as you made love.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered in your ear, as he kissed from beneath it to your jaw.

"Harry," you moaned out.

"My beautiful girl," he whispered, "gonna make you feel good, yeah?" He asked as his hand sneaked between your bodies. His fingers gently brushed against your nub, but with how turned on you were, it was enough to send a jolt through your body.

"M'close," you let out.

"I know," he told you, as he quickened his movements. "Me too," he grunted. As soon as you felt him twitch inside of you, you clenched around him, orgasm taking control of your body. Your nails dug into his shoulders and you buried your face in his neck. He continued his movements until you let up, a sigh of relief leave your mouth.

You laid like that, him on top of you, you clutching to him, for a while. Finally he got up, walking towards the bathroom and returning with a damp rag. He sat between your legs as he cleaned you up gently, knowing you were probably sensitive. "Harry," you said quietly.

"Yes love?" He asked, glancing up to you.

"What did you mean? By, you want more?" You asked, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

"Well," he sighed, climbing up and laying down next to you. "You know how Haz and grace are always, holding hands, sharing food, being ridiculously cute, and making us all want to vomit?" He asked you.

"Mm," you nodded.

"I want that, I want to hold your hand as we walk down the pier to watch the sunset, and I want to order one milkshake with two straws and put a dollop of whip cream on your nose, I want people to look at us together and think we are cute, I want to be the reason they want to vomit," he told you.

You let out a chuckle as you reached for his hand, interlocking your fingers together.

"So you want-"

"You to be my girlfriend," he finished.

You couldn't help the smile that creeped onto your face. This was everything that you wanted, and to have him tell you he wanted the same thing? It felt good.

"Alright, on one condition," you said cheekily.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" He asked.

"I want to put the dollop of whip cream on your nose," you giggled. He rolled his eyes before leaning in and capturing your lips with his.

Tag list:

@theglitterymess @violetlilysunshine  

@petesrparker

@harryhollandsgirlfriend

@mcushvft

(if your name is crossed out I couldn't tag you 😭😩)

[qianinterprises]

WayV Reaction: to asking them to take over while riding them

Warnings: SMUT!!!! This has 90% smut, 10% fluff, so if you are underaged, be warned!!

Work Count: 1.4k

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for your request, love! This was my first requested request and it was so much fun to write! I hope you enjoy it sweet anon!

Tagging: @treasuretaeil

Kun:

Originally Posted Here

Your hands were planted against your boyfriends chest, using him for leverage to hold yourself up as your hips pummeled against his. His hands gripped your hips, loosely guiding your hips down on him. His cock dragged deliciously along your walls, drawing moans from your lips, moans that were spurred on by his lips around your nipple.

You moaned out at a particularly hard thrust. Your hips stuttered, arms beginning to shake with your weight. It was all becoming too much.

"Kun?"

The man beneath you released your perky bud with a lewd pop, eyes flicking up to yours in question.

"Can you take over? I'm getting tired..."

With a smirk, Kun's hands gripped your hips tighter and lifted his pelvis. Skillfully, he flipped you around, settling you against the pillows. He moved his hands from your hips, planting them on both sides of your head.

"Let me take care of you," he whispered, hips thrusting into you as your walls squeezed around him.

Ten:

Originally Posted Here

Riding Ten was something you'd always wanted to do. He was always dominant, always putting your needs first. So when he came home from practice sweaty an exhausted, you jumped at the chance to take care of him.

Rather than fighting you for dominance, Ten gave in relatively easily. However, you seemed to have underestimated the amount of energy that went into topping.

Moans left his mouth has his hands fondled your breasts softly. You almost felt bad as your arms holding you up gave out and you were falling against his chest, hips moving slowly now.

"Tired baby?" he asked, voice soft as he ran his hands down your back.

You nodded against him. You really should start working out more.

"Can you take over please?" you asked softly.

With a soft chuckle, Ten rolled you over onto your back and gently thrust his hips into you. He laid over your body as his hips moved, lips softly kissing down your neck.

"Just enjoy," he whispered against your skin as his hips began moving at an infuriatingly slow pace.

WinWin:

Originally posted here

It wasn't uncommon for you to ride Sicheng. You both generally took turns with dominance, however, what was uncommon was how fast you had managed to get tired.

Sure, you could never last quite as long as your boyfriend, but you usually always managed to spur an orgasm out of him before your body collapsed against his chest. However, as your muscles suddenly seized up, you feel face first toward his chest. He only managed to catch your falling body by a few seconds before you slammed your nose against his collar bone.

"Babe?!" he asked, alarmed.

"I'm so sorry," you breathed, arms spasming with overuse.

"What happened?!"

"I couldn't hold myself up anymore..." you muttered, embarrassment rushing through you.

"Do you want to stop?"

You knew he didn't. You could still feel him twitching inside you, and to be frank, your core was aching for a mind-shattering orgasm, the kind only he was capable of giving.

"No but would you mind taking over?" you asked.

"Say no more."

With that, he flipped you around until your back was pressed against the mattress. He lifted your legs to wrap around his hips and pulled his cock almost completely out before thrusting back in, pulling a loud moan from your throat.

Lucas:

Originally posted here

Yukhei's hands lightly squeezed your breasts as your hips bounced on his cock, moaning loudly as he stretched you in all the right ways.

"Oh fuck Yukhei!" you moaned as he hit a particularly sensitive spot inside you.

"You like riding me baby girl?" his voice was low and husky, a tone he only used when he was feeling exceptionally good.

You nodded enthusiastically, but you knew you wouldn't be able to keep this up much longer. Yukhei had a lot more strength and stamina than you. He could fuck you for hours if you let him, but as your thighs began to quiver more from exertion than pleasure, you knew you didn't have much strength left to give.

As your thrusts slowed, Yukhei looked up at you questioningly, thumbs rubbing over your nipples softly.

"What's wrong baby?" he asked.

If there's one thing you loved about Yukhei, it's how he never got too caught up to care about you.

"I can't..." you breathed as your hips stilled completely. "I can't hold myself up anymore..."

A smirk covered his worried features.

"Want me to continue?"

With a nod, you allowed your thighs to relax. He shifted beneath you, lifting his legs until his feet were planted firmly in the mattress.

"You better hold on baby, I won't go easy," he growled before fucking up into you, sending you grappling for his shoulders to support yourself.

Xiaojun:

Originally posted here

Your first time riding anyone was proving to be a lot more difficult that you would have ever imagined. Typically, you'd say it looked easy enough, just moving your hips on someone rather than taking what they were giving you. However, as you struggled to find a happy medium between holding yourself up and fucking yourself down on Dejun's cock, you were getting frustrated.

"How do you do this all the time!" you whined as your hips moved sloppily, unable to find a comfortable pace.

Dejun, who looked far too amused beneath you, just shrugged.

"There's a training session we all have to go through to ensure we're strong enough to please our woman!"

You raised a hand to slap his chest, but as that support left, you found your body toppling down off of him and onto the bed, his cock slipping out of you, making you whine.

"I think you need more practice."

"Oh just shut up and fuck me!" you demanded.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Ask nicely."

You scoffed. Part of you wanted to just say 'never mind' and go finish yourself off in the bathroom, but he felt really good inside you.

With a huff, you conceded.

"Oh great Dejun, will you please do me the great honor of fucking me?"

With a far too satisfied grin, he moved on top of you, not hesitating to sheath himself back inside you.

Hendery:

Originally posted here

It had been his request. You weren't too keen on the idea because you were positive you wouldn't be able to do it for long. Your upper body strength was low, and you knew it was going to take a lot to keep yourself grounded as your hips moved. You had told your boyfriend this, but he'd insisted that you at least try. Which is how you ended up where you were not, laying flat on his chest, arms by your sides, hips barely moving to keep him the slightest bit stimulated.

"I told you this was a bad idea," you groaned, not looking up.

"You barely tried!" Kunhang complained.

"Did too! It's just hard!"

He didn't say anything after that, just moved his hands to your hips. He gripped them tightly and lifted them a little higher before letting them drop, pulling out moans from both of you.

"I have an idea, how about I stay on top but you take over?" you asked, looking up at him.

He raised an eyebrow, lifting your hips again and letting them drop.

"What will that do?"

You rolled your eyes.

"It will give you what you want and also allow me to practice holding myself up for next time!"

He didn't seem to keen on the idea at first, but as you lifted yourself up, placing both hands on the headboard to hold yourself up while he lifted your hips, he let out a satisfied moan.

"Deal."

YangYang:

Originally posted here

"Can't you go any faster?"

"I'm going as fast as I can!"

"But it's too slow!"

Your eyes snapped down to stair at your annoying boyfriend beneath you.

"How about you do it then!" you glared.

Riding him had been his idea. Something on your list to try, but ultimately his idea. You'd told him when he'd suggested it that it'd be slow. You didn't have great balance. Holding yourself up was going to take some practice and as he was the first person you'd ever been sexually intimate with, you obviously had no prior experience. Thus, here he was, whining at you to go faster when, even though you understood the need, you didn't have the balance or the practice to go any faster.

"Fucking finally!" he cheered.

Not a moment later, he was dumping you off his lap, pulling a yelp from your lips that was quickly drowned out by the embarrassingly loud moan that pooled from your throat as he thrust into you from behind, immediately setting a brutally fast pace.

[natswritingz]

Sexting next door / Sam x Reader

Note : This is my first fic in I don’t know how long, I tried my hardest so I really hope at least someone can enjoy this lol, also might be typos!

Words : 2.4k

Warnings : Sexting, exchanging pictures, dirty dirty talking, talk of oral/penetration/dry humping, swearing, lots of stuff.

The last week had been occupied with a hunt which ended with the three of you searching the woods for an old cemetery, laying all the buried souls to rest. Working with the Winchesters made the gigs easier. You found some joy in their presence, especially around Sammy.

You guys obviously had crushed on eachother, Sammy made the most moves while you took them as innocent jokes. You just didn't want to complicate anything for anyone.

You all had just got back to the motel, while the brothers shared a room like always, you got your own right next door. Your phone sat next to you as you pried off your dirt caked boots, hidden graveyards were something else. The device chimed with Sams assigned ringtone, you grabbed it in eagerness.

"You get settled in?"

You smiled at the text, he knew how to make you feel special even if it's a simple check in. You struggled with a response that sounded natural, typing then deleting, you finally wrote one and went with it.

"Yeah, just got the boots off lol"

"Are you getting anything good on the tv?"

"Nope, nothing"

That was a lie, you haven't even looked at the tv yet, but he didn't know that. You began unbuttoning your grimy top, feeling the cool air nip at your skin while the material still hung on your shoulders. You bit your lip as you typed another text to follow your previous one.

"Finally getting out of these clothes too"

You locked your phone quickly with embarrassment, you couldn't believe what you just sent. He was your friend, but the entire day he had been constantly flirting which made the temptation even harder to resist. The phone chimed after what felt like ages.

"Me too, I was able to get the shower first"

You read the text through squinted eyes, terrified to read his response with fully opened eyes. Your mind trailed to the image of him without anything on, the warm water running down his toned body, it made your heart race.

"Just about to get in"

You nervously pulled at your lip while intently watching the screen.

"Maybe I should hop in too, hot water sounds amazing right now"

"Do it, I'll keep you company ;)"

The wink confirmed it. He was leaving an opening for you to accept or decline before pursuing anything more.

"I'm taking off my clothes right now, what are you doing?"

"Turning the shower on, already undressed"

"I wish I could see that"

He opened it and hasn't responded in a while, you completely fucked it up. You cursed at yourself before seeing the tiny text bubble come up and disappear a few times until one finally came in.

"I wish I could see you take off those jeans, I could not stop staring at your ass today. All I wanted to do was pounce on you, you've been all I could think of."

You gulped at his message, this was would be your first time sexting, you were already loving it. You felt yourself getting excited at his message, reading it over and over. You pulled your shirt off the rest of the way.

"You were looking? That's very unprofessional of you, Sammy. If only I knew, I would've been 'accidentally' grinding against you all day."

Both of your tones suddenly changed, it wasn't the laid back no-period texts you normally exchanged, it was dirty and intriguing. You couldn't wait for him to respond.

"If you had done that, I don't think I would've been able to control myself."

"What would you have done? I would've loved to feel you press against my ass, I'm clenching my thighs just thinking about it."

"I would've pulled you into the nearest room and commanded you to grind against me until you came in your pretty panties."

You groaned at the thought, Sammy made dry humping sound hot, he could probably make any sexual act sound compelling.

"How do you know what panties I wear?"

You found yourself completely wrapped in texting back and forth you forgot about your plans to shower. Deciding to get comfortable, you leaned back onto the comforter. You were invested in where this was going, a shower could wait, unlike this.

"I've done your laundry and seen you in your undergarments before. I think I pretty much know everything about you, Y/N."

"I'm imaging my lace covered pussy grinding against your bulge covered by your boxers. It would feel so good to have you rub against me. I'd be soaking through my panties you could definitely see it dampening both our cloths."

You wanted to get dirtier so you tested the water, you wrote the first thing you thought of. It may have been a little too forward but your lust clouded all rational thinking.

"Jesus. My imagination might not be doing this scenario justice, I think we'd have to try it out next time we see eachother."

The elation in you grew with each suggestion.

"And when will that be?"

"If you keep it up, soon. Have you stripped yet?"

Sam was a great dom, he wanted everything to be in his control and you couldn't help but like it. You could trust him with control.

"I've been so busy with our little daydreams, I forgot I was even going to shower. Laying in bed still partially clothed."

"Take your pants off now, then give your ass a nice spank for me. Make it sting."

You followed his orders, placing the phone to your side as you lifted your hips to remove the jeans. You held the phone again as you flipped, now laying on your stomach, you used your free hand to rub on your cheek before giving it a sharp smack.

"Both are done, I'm thinking this might leave a mark?"

You raised your phone in a rush of confidence, snapping a photo of your ass and the handprint that reddened with time, attaching it to your message, and sending it without any hesitation. The mark was not as big as Sam could do and you dearly wished it was his hand instead.

"Fucking hell Y/N, I was not expecting that. You're making me want to come over right now to fuck you senseless."

"What do I do next? Still have my panties and bra on."

"Take your bra off baby girl, play with your nipples till they're both hard. Pinch them, flick them, be rough with it."

It was easy for you to follow his words, you found yourself loving his demands and dominance, you could keep following them for hours. You held yourself up with an elbow, you pinched the tip hard between your fingertips, rolling them slightly for more stimulation. You moaned with each uncoordinated flick.

"They're feeling so sensitive now."

You attached another picture, your tits in frame with your now erect and red nipples. After his reaction with the last one, you wanted to get more from him.

"So so perfect. Picture I'm there, sucking and biting on them. My warm breath fanning your soft skin. I want to make you feel good."

"You're making me feel good right now, I can't believe we're actually doing this."

"We can stop whenever you get uncomfortable, I want you to be good with all of this."

His message made you smile through the lust, he really did care about you. It wasn't the most ideal timing, but you could easily get worked back up again with his skills.

"Sorry, never wanna stop this <3"

You shook your head with a small laugh as you flirted.

"Good, me neither. You still have your panties on like a good girl?"

"Haven't taken them off yet, you haven't told me to."

"Sounds like someone's enjoying being bossed around, huh? What if I told you to suck me off, would you do it?"

"I'd let you throat fuck me. I want to gasp for my breath when you finally pull from my mouth."

"Your lips look perfect for my cock, I want to see them wrapped around me as I thrust into your mouth."

"I want you to be as rough as you can, Sammy."

You flipped over to your back once again, your hand dipping into your undies, rubbing soft circles over your clit as you awaited another message. You wanted to invite him over that instant but you had to resist the urge, sexting was fun and a good first step for the two of you.

"I've finally entered the shower, I'm stroking myself to the pictures you sent me. Kinda hard keeping the phone dry."

You laughed a little to yourself at the end of his message.

"Your turn?"

Not that your heart hadn't been pounding the entire time, your recent text made it even faster. You bit your lip in anticipation, you couldn't lie to yourself, you've always wondered what he was packing. And just like that, you revived a picture. Your jaw clenched at his size and width, you weren't entirely sure you'd be able to fit him if you ever got to doing this stuff in person. It was hot and impressive.

"How am I going to fit all of you? I don't think any amount of wetness would prepare me for you."

"We'll make it fit princess, I wanna see your warm pussy stretch around me. Fuuuck, I want you so bad Y/N."

"I want you bad too, maybe our next session can be face to face. I can't imagine how you'll make me feel when I have your hands on me instead of my own."

"You touching yourself right now? I don't remember telling you to stop playing with your tits."

"I couldn't take it anymore, I was aching for some relief."

That was true, your pussy throbbed for attention to the point it hurt to not touch yourself. No one else had this affect over you, making you soak through your lace like nothing.

"Fine, you can touch yourself as long as you don't cum until I allow you, and take it easy, I want you to enjoy this."

"Yes, Sammy."

You slowed down, rubbing slow circles on your aroused clit. Everything was heightened and sensitive, what was he doing to you?

"I'm touching myself, paced instead of rushed. I wish this was your hand. Not gonna lie, I constantly think of how good your large hands would feel on my body."

"Where?"

His response was immediate after he quickly read your message, considering what he told you just a little ago, you knew he was getting off to your little conversation.

"On my ass, in my pussy, around my throat. Even you holding my hands above my head or behind my back sounds like a pleasure. I want you to touch and explore every part of me."

The typing bubble appeared just as it did when he responded to every other text, this time you cut off his response with another one of your own, you wanted to get him really worked up.

"For future reference, I'd probably cum instantly with your tongue on my clit and your fingers in me as deep as they'd go."

You weren't a newbie when it came to sex, you knew what you wanted in the bedroom. Being a hunter and constantly hopping town to town, you had your occasional one night stand to release the stress that came with your job.

"Oh really? You want me buried in you while tasting you all at once? I can do that for you princess, I've been wanting to taste you. I'd eat you out till you came on my tongue then I'd make you kiss me, deep."

"You already know I'd return the favor."

You referred back to your message you sent not long ago about going down on him.

"We haven't even talked about getting to the main act and you've got me almost cumming. I had to slow my pace in order to not finish."

You smirked at his reply, biting your lip with a small groan as you still touched yourself. You were hoping you had the same effect on him that he had on you.

"Let's get onto the main act then. How'd you want to fuck me?"

"I can think of a few ways... But I most definitely want to see myself slide in and out of you. I want to enjoy every bit."

"Maybe my hands holding onto the back of my thighs while laying on my back? Everything would be on display."

"I could put your legs up on my shoulders and get really deep in you. Wouldn't that feel good?"

"I'd be seeing stars. And I would not be able to walk afterwards. Feeling you brush against my cervix repeatedly with your big cock, you're gonna fill me so good."

"Y/N you're gonna make me cum. Speed up."

With his permission, you started to rub faster. You moaned loudly, forgetting about anyone else in the seedy motel.

"Fuck, keep moaning."

You blushed in embarrassment, he could hear you from their rooms bathroom which definitely meant Dean could hear you, the strangers on the opposite side didn't concern you. You allowed yourself to moan with each lap, not holding back the cries. You went on for a minute before diverting your attention back to the phone.

"Imagine how much louder I'd be with you inside me."

"I've been thinking about all the noises you'd be making the entire time. You sound so hot. Are you close?"

"Yeah Sammy, I'm almost there."

Your breathing pattern became rapid and harsh, small wines escaping your lips as you played yourself to perfection.

"Beg for permission to cum."

You groaned at his response.

"Please let me cum, please Sam, I'm not sure I can hold it."

It was hard enough holding back your release but even harder to beg with one hand.

"You can cum baby, just cause you've been so good."

Your body released the tension, the relief rolling in as you came in your panties, finally. It hit you hard, your hips shaking as you moaned louder than earlier. You couldn't deny it, you never orgasmed like that when you were doing it solo.

"I couldn't help but finish to your moans"

His response was like his usual ones, not so formal and more playful. You could get used to seeing both sides regularly.

"We should do this more often, or try it in person, either one"

"I am 100% on board with that"

If for some reason you wanna be notified when I post a new fic, leave a comment to be tagged and your username will go here!

[thejosh1980]

Little Wing

(Trigger warning: animal/pet death)

Today, right now, I am sat at the spot where Mijo felt his last sunrise, just 24 hours ago.

He was 28 weeks old, he spent 20 of those weeks with me, and my family. He was my family. He was thrust upon me by my wife and mum, who knew Mijo would be the kind of birthday present I'd want, but could never ask for.

When he arrived he was unexpected. Straight from the car, into my bedroom, onto my lap, what a surprise, it was love at first sight. Those eyes, that tail, that round belly, the fur, I was all in. I had to say goodbye to 4 beautiful pets whom I loved dearly when I left Germany, so then and there I made a quiet, whisper promise to Mijo;

“I'll never ever leave you”...

We began like any other Daddy and cat story, playing, eating, talking to each other. We may have made a few messes on the bed learning to potty train, but I couldn't really fault him, he was perfect. He loved cuddles, got under our feet all the time, talked to us a lot and wanted to be a part of everything happening around the house.

He meowed very loudly too. Sometimes he'd meow from the next room sounding lost and worried. That's when I started to realized something was very different about him. It took about 2 weeks, but then I realized, he was totally deaf!!!! No vacuum cleaner, loud bangs, claps, or door slams could get his attention. When he meowed loudly, it was either because he had to, to feel himself meowing in his head, or he was missing us and could smell us, but not hear us in the next room. I had never had a cat who couldn't hear me call their name, so this was going to be a challenge.

Mijo accepted that challenge...

In a short time I figured out how to clicker train him, using a torch. I love training cats. Most folks think it's impossible, but I've taught cats to fetch, sit and come on command in the past.... So, pretty soon I had him jumping up, over and across chairs and tables on cue. I also learnt a way to “call” him; assuming he could see me, if I knelt down and tapped my leg, he'd come a running. Every time. We had it all figured out.

Grab a harness and a lead, and off we go, walking around the garden. This wasn't a cat, this was a dog. He had very little fear, I mean, he couldn't even hear the birds making a racket or the car driving by or the dog barking next door. He was fixated on me.

I bought him a blow up boat, to use in the pool, to help him get used to floating on water. It was a huge boat for his little size, but he'd hop in, and I'd “treat” him while he got used to the motion. The plan was to build him up to a real boat, or canoe or SUP. I could imagine him walking on water.

He was also great with other cats, so I could take him to visit his cousin and they'd play all day (if we'd let them). He'd come with me to visit other family and then... well, then the real adventures started. Mijo and I could go to the river, the park and the beach. We also went for coffee at the busiest part in the local village, and he took it all in his stride. We took bike rides too, as he sat in a special backpack I had for him. I could hold him while skateboarding or put him on my shoulder as I walked around. He was chill, happy to see and smell his silent world.

When Alex or I came home, and he'd be in the bedroom snoozing or gazing out the window, we could come in, take off our shoes, put our stuff down, maybe run to the loo, then we could snuggle up with him, cause he hadn't heard us arrive. He would just be waiting... He'd just wait for someone to step close enough, blow on his ear, feel a vibration and then he'd meow a big BIG hello, purr and snuggle. He was a no pressure cat... But always ready for hugs and pats.

Besides being deaf, he just didn't seem like any other cat I'd had or even met...

But isn't the way it is with all pets? They're all unique.

He loved Alex. He always had a hard decision between my lap and hers, or sleeping close to one or the other. We had a son to take care of, to love and to enjoy. At the beginning, Alex wasn't sure about having a cat, she'd pretty much always been a dog person, but it didn't take long for Mijo to wrap her around his little paw. She was hooked.

We thought he was going to be grow up to become a big boy. You know, Maine Coon sized 5-6 or maybe 7 kilo. We had high hopes for a dog-like cat, big enough to take on the world. We wanted to show him the world too.

After he had his snip (desexing) in mid March, he wasn't very well, and it really traumatized all of us, we just weren't sure why he took it so badly. He was in a lot of pain, even though the operation itself was quick and really good, with no issues. He would spend the day, in his “bread loaf” position, with his nose to the ground. It was like he was conserving all his energy for when we came home or wanted his attention.

Eventually, after a few weeks he bounced back, back to being his usual self, for a while. He actually lost a lot of fur during this time, most likely due to a reaction to the antibiotics and pain killers. Where his collar and harness were, he lost all his hair. It only took a few days, a bit too quick to realize what was going on, he rarely wore the collar or harness after that. It meant we sometimes lost him in the house without his bell on to tell which room he was in, so I'd be running around turning on and off the lights to get his attention and a meow.

It was our fun game of “Mijo Polo”.

We had noticed he wasn't eating as much, and he wasn't as playful. In fact, all his toys were being ignored, and he rarely chased anything we teased him with. When we took him for playtime with his cousin, he wouldn't last as long play fighting. Something was up, we thought he'd bounce back by now.

Overall, he was a very chilled cat, having just had an operation and now with, ringworm, a tooth problem (one adult tooth was causing him problems and needed to be pulled) maybe that was why he wasn't too interested in food. Surely it wasn't bacteria, an infection or a virus in his blood.

In early May, Mijo developed ringworm, which, by the way, isn't a worm but rather a fungal infection. The vet already had us on anti fungal cream day and night. It's very unusual to get ringworm; it's all around us, but a strong immune system, actually, a decent immune system, would fight off any infection naturally. Cats generally just lick it all off their fur. Humans sometimes get it, from a scratch or a wound. It's in the soil, it's in the air.

When we got the treatment for the ringworm, we also gave him an appetite stimulant, to encourage him to eat, but it made little difference. As nothing changed, we went back to the vet a few days later, and did a hypothyroidism test; the results were borderline.

What could be going on?

At the time of his desexing operation, he was 1.7 kilos, a week later he was down to 1.5 and eventually 1.45 kilo. His body was growing a little, but his muscle and fat wasn't.

We talked to the vet and decided, even though his ringworm was infectious, the tooth had to go, sooner rather than later. It seemed logical that it was his biggest barrier to fulfilling his dietary requirements and his well being. We wanted him fattening up, growing up, and being his usual self again, ASAP. We needed to get him back on track towards good health, enough was enough.

On Monday 17th May I dropped the little guy off at the vet for the day. A check up and a tooth pull.

Before any cat gets an anesthetic, they run a simple blood test to determine if the cat is well enough. During the day we got a call that the operation couldn't happen, and that he'd have to stay in over night or longer, with meds to help him, because his red cell blood count was low. 10%. Most cats need around 40%, if there's any complication with the tooth pull, his blood may not clot.

It's official, he was very unwell.

I was at school when I got the news. I was in shock. Our little boy was that unwell? But he does eat (a little), he does walk on the lead with me, he's eating his treats... was he that unwell?

Suddenly we had to decide on some expensive tests to figure out what was wrong with him. I mean, the red blood cells were being eaten up by the white ones, but why?? We arranged the suggested tests and they kept him in over night.

I was very distraught. How can my little guy be so unwell yet behave well? With that blood count, he shouldn't be able to walk, he should be so lethargic that he can't keep his head up!! He should be in a coma.

All in all, theoretically, he should be dead.

So was it dwarfism, hypothyroidism, mycoplasma??? And and and?? Tests... Blood being taken.. Our boy in the vet over night, alone, worried, scared??? Will he make it through the night? I didn't sleep well...

On Tuesday afternoon the vet let us bring him home. His blood level was down to 9.1%. The idea was that, at least at home he'd have cuddles and love, and that might help his immune system. He was lethargic but not completely terrible. I would need to bring him in on Wednesday for another blood test, to see how he was doing.

On Wednesday, it didn't go well, Mijo had gone from 9 to 8.1% blood level. It was now becoming almost impossible to get any blood out of him. I saw how difficult it was 2 weeks earlier when he had the hypothyroid test, they had to try on both legs and his neck to get a half mil of blood! He was a champ and barely complained. But now, I couldn't imagine the pain he went through with even less blood.

He's been that sick for how long?? Why hadn't we noticed?

We were panicking.

The vet suggested we meet with a mature, more experienced doc, on Thursday. We should be able to figure something out, we had to. Each day = less blood = more chance of...

Well, I am a hopeful guy. I realize, I live on hope. I spent years hoping certain people in my life would change, or love me in a way that I feel some love. I always hope things will change for the better. I don't know why, but it's ingrained in me to feel hopelessness or hope... I think I'm never in the middle... or is that called acceptance? OK, maybe I do feel that too, eventually... But it takes a long long time...

I have videos of Mijo on Thursday 20th, he's cleaning himself in the sun, meowing and purring, happy to see me, walking around the garden with me. Full of life and adventure.

At lunch time, Mijo and I go to the vet. He is his usual cute self, always curious at the vets, and now there's a the new guy he's meeting, what an adventure.

Before he opens the cat box he said something along the lines of “Well, because his blood levels are so low, today is really about deciding if he goes to heaven or not...” I'm not sure, but I know I heard words like “heaven” and “euthanasia” early on in the consultation. Shock was setting in. I barely heard anything else he said, luckily we had Alex on the speaker phone.

Turns out, not only is our little guy deaf, he's an anomaly.

Any cat with 8.1% should be comatose. They should barely be able to walk. They certainly can't pee or poo without help and don't drink or eat much. Mijo came out of his box and sniffed around, was alert and ready to meet the new guy!!

The vet was stumped. He had never seen this before, in over 30 years...

We didn't know he was so sick, because, he was, overall, a well behaved cat. His weight he lost, sure, but he was now at least stable. He was eating, it just took a lot of creativity sometimes to spark his interest (mostly warming up meals and giving him treats).

The vet tried to explain to me, but I'm sure Alex on the phone understood it clearly, that we had very little time, well, no time. We had 3 choices that day. Go to a specialist an hour's drive away, give Mijo steroids and hope he had mycoplasma or Immune mediated hemolytic anemia (IMHA) or, lastly, euthanasia.

Wait???? What does that even mean??

The specialist would give him a blood transfusion, and some special custom drugs which should help him. The vet said it could cost in the 10s of thousands, and may help Mijo for a few weeks, but it's not a solution that we are sure would be long term or not.

Giving Mijo steroids would give him a fighting chance, or not... Basically it could cure or kill him. Because we aren't sure what is the cause of the low blood count, it could be IMHA, mycoplasma or something else, but it's a best educated guess at this rate. If it is the wrong choice, he may die quicker than expected.

Euthanasia, no explanation needed.

We decided on steroids. According to the vet, there was a 50/50 chance it would work. If the cause of the blood cells killing off each other was for or against steroids, we'd know soon enough. Still shocked I tried to understand it all. I'm so grateful Alex was on the line and knows this stuff through experience and study.

The idea of taking Mijo an hour's drive north to the specialist, to a cubicle, a place where we may not be with him 24/7, on the off chance that he wouldn't make it and die alone, we couldn't fathom that.

Mijo took the steroid injection like a champ, he always did injections well. He was given some antibiotics to also help. The vet said, that by Saturday we'll know if it was the right decision. We'd know if he would be getting better...

It was decided that on Monday 24th we'd go back in for a blood test to actually see if the steroids were working (cause apparently one can't really tell with Mijo's behavior, the cheeky monkey).

Mijo and I came home, and well, he ate, he was purring, sitting on my lap. The usual deal. When I went out to get the washing in, he tried to go out too, something we, as parents, have been very protective about. He doesn't go out alone, he doesn't go out without a lead or a bell. He's not an easy cat to find if he runs off, not that he has ever tried. He deaf, he can't hear cars or other dangers out there.

I promised him I'd take him out to that side of the house/garden that afternoon...

So we did, we went out, we sat down, he explored. He was well, good, better, best. He was my boy. He trusted me, I trusted him. I'm always amazed how well he walks by my side, like a dog, with loose leash... Taking my steps as cues when to walk, and when to stop.

We also met the neighbor's dog, which was a first, both were not really interested in each other... But still, Mijo knew there's a lot to live for...

Overnight he went great... Woke up with him on my chest relaxing waiting for me to get up and feed him, luckily I have a wife who had to get up for work at that moment. I remember she sang him a lullaby and held him like a baby. It was really sweet to see how much love they had for each other. Rock-a-bye Mijo...

We wanted to him feel as much love as we could. We felt that, if the steroids and antibiotics were doing their part, and we did ours, there's nothing he can't beat. And he sure felt the love...

I held him while doing some singing exercises, close to my chest. It was something we hadn't done before, and he purred. He'd look up and meow every time I stopped making vibrations. He felt it, I felt it, it was a connection.

We spent a lot of time, reading, relaxing and sitting on laps. Alex and I cuddled him, told him we loved him. He was really fighting. He was eating. He was a little more playful than in recent weeks. He wanted to live. We could feel it...

He went from eating half a packet to 1.5 packets a day, plus dry food. He always wanted treats, and I was always glad to oblige.

By Saturday he was wonder cat! Kneading... Purring... Chasing toys... Eager to hang out...

We'd overcome the problem! He was getting better. There's fight, love and life left in him. He was amazing. If it hadn't been for his ringworm (which was also healing very very well) I'd say he was perfect, especially once he put on another few grams...

We had 4 awesome days, loads of energy and love. He was never alone in the house, and rarely alone in a room. We wanted him to know, to feel, that we loved him so deeply and that all we want was him in our life, for adventures and cuddles.

On Monday morning, his appetite went down... He didn't really eat much...

We all left for the day, work and school. I think we were all worried, but he'd been so good and improved so so much, that we were sure he'd be fine. We have the blood test booked for the afternoon, I'm sure he'll pep up by then. The injection could be wearing off too...

Mijo and I went in to the vet, and his test came back at 14%!!! Damn, that's 6 points!! The vet expected 3 to be a big improvement. In fact, if he had 3 or less, euthanasia may have been the only option... Happy days! He was well. He's going to live! He'll be fine.

We're not out of the woods yet, but we are in the right direction.

All that love we lavished on him, not just in the past days, but the past 4 months. The adventures, the friends he'd made (both human and animal) the smells and sights he'd seen, the vibrations he felt, it was all coming together... He was a fighter with a lot of love to give...

We were over joyed. Really, I couldn't have been happier when I got the results. I gave a “whoop” and threw my fist in the air (I've never done that before in my life!).

We changed to tablet form steroids, as they'll be better long term, keep up the antibiotics and off we go...

But we all know, that often people and animals, when they know they are dying, they give it one last shot. And that was it... We didn't realize until Wednesday, that he wasn't actually going to get better...

Mijo stopped grooming himself, he slowly ate less and less... He became more and more lethargic, he started to sit in the “bread loaf” position with his nose on the ground, as he did after the snip, resting. We thought it was the change in steroids, and as I was at school and the girls at work, we just kept thinking he'd pep up eventually.

When I left for school Wednesday morning, he was alert, but lethargic. When I came home early to check on him, he had really changed again.

His belly was a little bloated, but he had hardly eaten. He had trouble walking, it seemed like it was a mix of muscle degradation/pain and confusion. His meowing changed to a high pitch cry, similar to that of a young kitten. He also stopped eating, he wouldn't even touch any of his tasty treats. He searched for any bit of sun to stand in, but he was looking so uncomfortable, his posture had changed, half sitting, half standing. I was grateful, when I carried him to his water bowl, that he drank a lot. He also went to the toilet, I held his tail so he didn't make a mess on himself.

We spent the afternoon outside, as the sun started to set. He loved the sun, I wanted him to feel warmth... I held him, talked to him. I don't know now many times I asked him to please hold on, please fight and that I loved him. He looked more comfortable in the sun.

I did film us walking around the pool. I am forever grateful for technology, so that I could just put my phone down, touch a button and record a moment. As we walked and talked, oblivious to the camera, I recognized a change in his breathing... I may have missed it previously, but for sure, his breath was becoming more and more labored. Every 3 or 4 breaths, he just had to try harder... His eyes were changing too... But I was sure he could recognize me, the way the vibrations from my chest reached his body and the way I smell. He would react from time to time, shifting or clawing at me.

He often touched my chest with his paw. Reaching out...

Mum and I went to the vet late Wednesday afternoon, the earliest we could. I explained it must be the change of steroids. No, it wasn't. They were the same type, it was just that he wasn't able to fight anymore. We discussed the specialist, called them and made a plan to go in first thing in the morning. I arranged for a friend to come with me, and Thursday morning bright and early, we were going up to get Mijo cured. Transfusion, drugs, you name it, we were going to do it. We had to, we told him we'd make him better.

There and then, Alex and I decided to trade in our honeymoon, you know from the wedding we had 13 months ago and still haven't done the traditional thing of a week or two away somewhere. We decided the money we had aside for that, would go to Mijo's specialist costs, because without Mijo, our honeymoon, whatever and whenever we decide to do it, wouldn't be worth doing, if he wasn't around.

I made a firm plan on how to help him through the night. We would hold him in shifts... All 3 of us... If one showered, the other held him. Dinner time, we shared the responsibility, not that we ate much anyhow. We cuddled, we talked, we purred, I would blow gently on his head... He was feeling love and he was fighting...

Because he hadn't eaten all day, we decided to try feeding him with a syringe, with success. With the tablets we were putting into his stomach, I felt he needed something else down there too... With a small syringe, he took it well, lapping up a tasty liquid treat.

When it was bed time, we put pillows around the bed, incase he fell, because he was very wobbly on his feet. He would cry out at random times, possibly from pain, but I think more from confusion. He sometimes wanted to get away from us, as we know, pets know when it's time and usually disappear, isolate.

We barely slept. I managed about 3 hours... But it was tough.. He wouldn't stay still, and eventually we put him in his little bed, near our bed... Of course he didn't stay there long.

At 4am I heard him crying... I found him under the bed... Alex woke up too... His breathing had changed a lot... Every breath was labored. He wasn't getting enough oxygen.

I laid on my back, and Mijo laid on my chest. This was how it often was, especially when I was reading... We did that until around 7am... Alex taking turns, holding him, talking to him, loving him. Mijo could barely hold himself up, he just laid in our arms... Breathing... His eyes began to glaze over...

We discussed our options, we felt the specialist was now a long shot. We didn't think he'd make the drive, he was near the end. Our little man had little fight left... And we wouldn't forgive ourselves for him dying in a foreign place. There were a lot of tears and back and forwards, including mum coming in for cuddles with the little guy at 5am...

Alex called the emergency vet, and we planned to go in at 8:30... Mijo's time had come...

When the sun comes up, if the blind is open in our bedroom, the sun shines right on through to Alex in bed, Mijo was in her arms, while she drank coffee as the sun rose.

Sometime later I took the little guy out to the pool, where we walked and talked, cuddled and loved, around and around, in the morning sun. I talked to him about all the adventures we had, riding bikes, visiting people, the beach and the river. I spent most of that hour, holding him, looking to his eyes... He gazed up, I just hope he knew it was me. I just knew he felt the vibrations of my words.

We both told him, it was OK to let go now. We were ready. But he kept on fighting for each breath... I think he was just like his Dad, always hopeful..

He last moments at home, where in the chair I'm sat in now. It gets the best light, first thing, even though it's inside the “catio”. Alex had sat down while I was walking outside, I seem to do better when I walk, and I brought him in for cuddles with her in the sun... He was bathed in sunshine, in Alex's arms... It was beautiful...

Actually getting in the car and going to the vet, was tough, but it really hit me when I walked in. I held the little guy, and just burst into middle-aged-man tears and sobbing... If you were there, you'd know I was my mother's son, cause she was sobbing too... I couldn't look anyone in the eye... I didn't understand what was going on, or about to go on...

I think I was in another place...

We went into a consult room, and I just laid the little guy down, not thinking of using the blanket we had... The vet explained the procedure and took him away for his catheter and first injection, some anesthetic? I don't know, but apparently it was the right thing, it helped with his pain.

I couldn't even look Alex or Mum in the eye... I just cried...

I still had hope...

When they came back, Mijo was wrapped in a soft blanket, what a great idea...!! He was quieter, more peaceful... The vet left to give us a moment...

He was still breathing, still fighting... I put my ear to his face, and heard him...

I kept making sure his eye lids closed from time to time. I remember back when Catalina, my little girl in Germany, needed to be anesthetized for a check up. The vet put some put liquid drops in her eyes and made her blink, so her eyes didn't dry out... So for Mijo, I did that every once in a while... I didn't want his eyes to dry up... I wanted him to be able to see me, because laying on that table, he couldn't hear me.

I begged Alex not to bring the vet back in for the final injection... I think I may have screamed something at her... I don't know... I wasn't me... I was trying to hold him in my arms, without moving him... I was trying to give him another chance...

I bawled...

I don't know if I have ever cried like that before... I thought I'd be all cried out... I thought all my tears had already left the building the previous hours and days... But there was more... a lot more... and more to come...

I know that Alex and I held hands over his body... I felt the love... I felt his warmth... his breathing... I know I cried tears onto him, there were tear drops on his lips...

I looked him in the eye as much as I could, but mostly, I cried...

I felt the liquid go into him, I felt it go around my hand into him...

I don't know much about what happened after that... I know I didn't want to leave him, I had promised him I would never do it. I regret not holding him once more... I know that at that moment, I felt the life drain out of me... I felt hope die...

I walked out, not knowing what to do, and flopped down on the grass outside... I never sit on grass, but Mijo liked it...

I managed to drive home...

That was yesterday...

Since then I've tried to rest, tried to come to grips with what has happened, tried to connect with a few friends, I've tried... I'm still trying...

This morning I got up wanting to do some sport, washing, then study and take on the day with confidence... It's a new day, I should take that opportunity to get back into my routine... It took all of 1 minute, from bed to bathroom, to be bawling... Except for the time I manage to calm down enough to type this blog, I've been crying... It's now 10am... I was awake at 6:15...

We are running out of tissues..

I felt so bad this morning, I wanted to plead with Alex not to go to work, because I just can't today. I just can't. We have discussed how she copes in these situations, and I know that's how she copes, by going to work, so I kept my trap shut. I just want her to hug me all day, so I can feel her warmth.

I cried so much on the drive to drop mum off at work this morning, she started crying too, and contemplated not going to work... She wanted to be there for me, but I told her, honestly, I don't think I'd be much company today.

I don't know the grieving process, we haven't learnt that in counseling school yet, but I do know, I'm feeling very lost... I feel very numb...

I can't explain it, and maybe that's why folks can never really explain how they feel after someone close to them, or their pet, has passed. We are just lost.

I also feel that I am grieving for my other losses in my life. It's a bit like, it's a culmination of all the others before him, plus him on top, making me feel pain like I have never experienced before.

Grief is just love, with no place to go... Alex and I talked about that quote last night. I used this quote to help me through leaving my 4 pets in Germany, I know I have to find a new place for my love, but for now, I just can't.

I know I couldn't have gotten through this without the support of my Mum and Alex...

While Mum cries at the drop of a hat, she is solid and thoughtful and loving. Alex is strong and experienced in these matters. She knew what to say, and when, even if I did yell back… Both have a lot of time and patience for me.

I know Alex and Mum feel bad, maybe even guilty, for choosing him. Mijo was a present, to give me joy and love and comfort. And he sure did, in multitudes, to all of us. I would never have gotten a cat back then, I didn't feel Alex or I were ready, we were still working through our issues with our pets in Germany.

Alex and I decided that we want Mijo home with us. He was only on this earth for 6.5 months, we expected him to be with us for 10+ years. Taken too early. Once he's cremated we'll have him in a little urn. He was so small, but if there's a little left over, we will either plant a tree with his ashes or sprinkle him down by the river, the first place he went to that was close to water.

The past day or so, I have shared what happened with some friends, classmates and family, and everyone has been so thoughtful and caring. Thank you, it's really helped to know you're all out there, thinking of the little guy. He would have loved to meet you all.

He was perfection. If someone else had gotten him, realized he was deaf, they may not have given him the adventures and life he had. Mum considers him a rescue cat...

So here I am, in the chair, his last chair in his last moments at home.

I can still smell him on my shirt. When I walk around the house, dazed, I sniff my shirt. He had a wonderful smell. The smell of love and adventure. I hope that smell lasts a life time.

I miss his warmth, his meow, which was damn loud!! I miss, that sometimes he'd get lost around the house... Or he'd lose me, around the house. He was gentle, and only bit me once, by accident, piercing my thumb a little. I miss the fact he had 1 tooth growing forward, directly out, making him a tri-toothed kitten with a protruding top lip! He took on the world without fear. I've never experienced anything like it in a cat. My girl Catalina did sit on my shoulder as I walked down the street in Germany, but Mijo, he let me go skateboarding with him, played guitar with me (he'd chew the strings) and one time, I even vacuumed his tail.

All trust. No fear.

Back when he lost all his hair around his neck and stomach after his snip operation, we were pretty concerned. Funnily enough, it grew back pretty quickly, but it grew back white, not grey. He had a ring around his neck and kind of marks on his back wrapping around to his belly. Alex googled it, and actually found out, cats can often have their hair grow back white after trauma or experiencing extremes of temperature if their hair was cut short or fell out.

About a month ago, I sent my dearest of friends, Sandra, a photo of his regrowth, and she commented looks like “little angel wings”...

Fly on little wing, fly on...

RIP Mijo Angus

12-11-2020 – 27-05-2021

Thanks for reading,

Josh

[ciaossu-imagines]

Smutty match please? I'm bi and don't mind sharing. I'm fairly kinky and I'm mostly a bottom. I'm a masochist so bdsm and bondage are pretty great. I would prefer if there weren't lasting marks in a place someone could easily see. I have a hard no on rape play, watersports, most roleplays, choking, and fisting. I like using sex toys, over stimulation, dirty talk, blindfolds, orgasm denial, and lingerie. I derive pleasure in serving/pleasuring someone. wow this is a lot and im kinda embarrassed

In my humble opinion, your ideal sexual match in KHR is KIKYO!

You say you don’t mind sharing? That’s a really good thing because this is going to be something that happens in your relationship with Kikyo, just to forewarn you. Open relationships or happy polyamory are definitely things with him in a relationship and it’s no surprise that these predilictions of his carry over to the bedroom. He’ll always make sure you’re comfortable with whomever he chooses to bring in though and wouldn’t hesitate to kick them out if you use the safe word and want them gone.

While Kikyo is a switch and can be subby himself, because he knows you prefer to bottom, he’ll try really hard to be the perfect dom for you. Honestly, he spent so many years being trodden over and being powerless that the chance to have power over someone else, even if it’s just sexually? He’ll end up loving it, something that’s so easy to see in his words, his actions, his whole demeanour every time he leaves you quivering, slightly drooling and oh so very satsified after he’s had his way with you. He becomes almost addicted to that control and he’ll want you often - the boy has a libido that will be hard to satisfy.

He knows you get off on serving and pleasuring him and he’ll definitely lap in all that attention but he’s not a selfish lover by any means. He enjoys lavishing attention on you as well. He’ll tie you down and tell you not to make any noise before he puts his hands, his clever mouth and the many, many toys that will be in your collection to use on your body. He’ll tease you mercilessly, both physically and verbally and when you make a noise (which lets face it, you can’t help, not with him bringing you close to orgasm and then denying it to you, over and over, until you break), he’ll tell you he has to punish you for breaking the rules, his tone sad but his eyes glittering with anticipation. His ‘punishment’ will be long and you’ll get that orgasm you wanted - several times over. Kikyo loves overstimulating you, to the point where you’re almost or just barely crying and your body is left shaking. It really gets him off.

Oh and this boy is amazing at aftercare, just to let you know. He will take such good care of you after sex.

Runner Ups: Verde, Iris Hepburn