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emily-the-fae · 4 years ago

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Sound of a Heartbeat

Part 5. Walking makes the road

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 6

Unbelievable, but I'm finally back with a new chapter. I've been going through a lot of stuff with my studies and personal life for the past month and here it comes. Finally done with the editing. Most definitely not the best chapter in the story, but it has to be here to keep the storyline together and moving. Anyways, enjoy. Like and comment if you do, I'm very happy to receive feedback.

PS Dracula back to the story soon:)

I still have no beta and English isn't my mothertongue.

Pairing: Dracula X OC

Warnings: probably none, skeletons on sticks...the usual stuff

Wandering into the lands ruled over by darkness itself has never been pleasant.

The next morning was freezing cold, just as the passing night - no warmth was brought by the little sunlight that came - and upon waking up Shari briefly wondered how she wasn't dead of the cold yet. Her mornings were something like crawling out of a tomb every time - the kind she imagined when she heard the stories of vampires awakening, though no doubt they must have still felt better than she did. Those bastards.

Morning light was dim and weak, there were torn scraps of greyish mist laying low above the ground and the forest was eerily quiet. Shari knew the sun had to be very low, but nevertheless up, which meant that she had to be on the move already, and yet she couldn’t force herself to move a single inch, as if the forces of the castle were sensing her approach and weakening her on purpose.

She hadn't entered any towns - in fact, hadn't seen any in the previous eight hours or so of her walking the day before - and though her food supplies weren't awfully low, her health seemed to be protesting and weakening at hourly rate, demanding normal human conditions and rest. She needed warmth and a bed, and she was sure as hell that where she was heading she would either get those only already in Dracula's den, or won't get it at all.

- So? Are you up? Heading? The faster you rise, the faster we'll be there, - Shari sat back against the tree trunk, taking a gulp of cold water from her flask - she wouldn't mind Trevor's whiskey right now, but the hunter took it all with him; Rodo was seemingly relieved that he was free of his duty of being her personal heater, he jumped up and ran around the forest opening, stretching his stiff muscles. At least someone had energy left.

- You know I'm really beginning to hate you now... - she yawned.

- I believe you have already mentioned that.

- Not enough, apparently.

- Oh, come on, you like my company. Besides I'm the only one helping you so hey...

- Ok, ok can I get my food at least?

- You can eat on the go! Come on! - she whistled for Rodo even though she knew he couldn't hear her. Shari stood up purposefully slowly and made the first hesitant steps to follow her guide. Oh where were those wonderful times when she could stay in bed almost all day if she was feeling under the weather? She could kill for such a possibility at the given moment. There was a screech of another winged demon somewhere in the distance, Shari shuddered, brought out of her thoughts and Rodo turned his head briefly, seemingly considering whether he should bolt to search for the other creature, but quickly averted his muzzle from the direction and followed Shari, jumping from tree to ground and back up.

It was going to be a long day.

- Did you walk the same way? First time you found his castle? - the scenery about them was dreadful to say the very least. The forest was greyer now, less green, less alive than on the route before. The few small villages they passed were seemingly abandoned completely for decades if not centuries and Shari felt rather than acknowledged that the farther she went, the worse it would become.

- Not quite, - Lisa replied, her voice all too lively for a ghost. - The direction I came from was a bit more disturbing than here, - Shari briefly wondered how that should have looked, if this desolation seemed lively in comparison. - And I also went alone you know, so...

- Oh, yes, thank you, my wise guide for leading my way... Probably to the dinner table of a very aggressive vampire, - Shari bowed mockingly, then coughed again, swallowing the blood the pooled to her mouth.

- Calm down. There won't be anyone there, I'm quite sure.

- A-ha! So now you are "quite" sure!?

- Don't be mean, I'm trying to save your life here.

- Exactly me for some reason, - Shari snorted sarcastically.

- For the same reasons you helped Adrian. Because I can't just walk past... and because I feel rather than know that helping you is more than just helping one particular person. Just like you felt about him - didn't you?

That shut the girl up for considerable time.

They walked all day long only making one small stop to rest during - at least what was supposed to be - midday (it was very hard to understand where the sun was behind the treetops, clouds and fog). Shari coughed up blood and swore like a sailor, but Lisa only let her sit down long enough to gulp down some food. If she wasn’t killed by some night creature, she would sure as hell be tired to death with such a guide pushing her to the limit. It was visible how the closeness of their destination made the ghost more and more agitated.

The dawn was already close and Shari was ready to give up the hopes of getting to her goal on that day - ever, to be honest, judging by the condition of her lungs – her body desperately wanted her to drop down and call it a night. The forest around them was dreary and dense, the mist had never lessened since morning; Shari was cold, slightly wet and unbearably tired and even Rodo seemed to lose some of his enthusiasm, even though the darkness should have empowered him. Maybe being around humans rubbed off on the creature a little.

- Shush, - Lisa turned to Shari as they walked on, gesturing for her to cut her whining and keep quiet. Shari stopped abruptly looking around in alert, trying to see through at least some reasonable distance between the tree trunks. Finally she understood what picked her companion’s attention: clearing began to be noticeable before them - it seemed that the woods were all of a sudden coming to their edge.

They carried on walking in silence for a few more minutes until they finally reached the end of the trees – the edge of the forest. The final border between the darkness of Dracula’s lands and the normal world. Shari gasped in surprise and horror: in front of her was a few feet sandy drop covered here and there in greyish grass that led to a whole field, dry and dead in dim yellow lights with no snow upon it, weak bushes appearing here and there. It seemed that the mere presence of the undead somewhere nearby sucked the life out of the lands. Peculiar graveyard formation occupied a part of the land - human skeletons hanging on tall sticks, all in varying poses, as if frozen in their deadly agony, dried with ages and falling apart. Whatever happened there, it was nothing good. If this was what the owner of the lands decided to expose to lone travelers, it was quite obvious there would be no “welcome” shield ahead.

There was no visible end to the field, at least the reddish mist coloured by the light of the setting sun made it impossible to see far in the distance. Shari coughed, dusty air tickling her throat, and looked back to the ghost in confusion. Was this what they had searched for?

- Are you sure this is…?

- My reaction precisely when I first saw this place, - Lisa was amused, watching the healer's fearful face. - Come on, we're almost there now.

- Wait! What, there? To those? - she gestured actively to the mass of aged corpses, but Lisa payed no attention to her reaction. - Lord, why do I always get myself into the deepest trouble I can find? Could've stayed somewhere safe and warm, healed a bit, but no-o I had to be right here, torn apart by bats and hell-knows-what-else-inhabits-this-place, - Shari mumbled to herself as they descended into the valley, her feet slipping upon rocks and sliding on the unsolid sandy ground.

- Oh, come on, it's not as scary here. You’ve surely seen worse - Lisa replied, - they were walking deeper into the field, navigating their way between the mutilated skeletons, as the reddish-grey twilight around them was darkening minute by minute.

- Maybe. Doesn’t mean I want to see more.

Just as the words left her mouth, there was a blood-chilling howl somewhere in the distance and a horde of great black bats, apparently awoken by the sound, appeared out of nowhere, flapping their wings above their heads rapidly; Shari yelled and dipped down in fear. Rodo on the contrary jumped up from behind her back, trying to reach the annoying loud things and succeeding in catching one of the creatures between his sharp fangs. Shari only crouched down lower, as she heard the struggles of the defeated being next to her ear. Then a snap - the animal stopped moving, as Rodo tightened his jaws, probably breaking the thing's stamina. Just as abrupt as it began, the flapping of the bats above her stopped too.

- Lisa? Are-are they gone? - her voice was slightly shaking, she awaited the dreadful howl to repeat even closer.

- Shari, stand up! Shari! - she heard Lisa's voice coming from behind her back and turned around, her eyes searching for the ghost, as she realized that Lisa has moved much further away than she expected. Shari was on her feet in an instant, finally noticing what stood behind the ghost's transparent form, her mouth fell agape at what she could see before her now.

A wide set of steps that led to doors so tall that she felt her head spin even looking up at it - the dark stone walls went up and disappeared in the low greyish mist. Her ghost companion was at the top of the steps already and Rodo was gladly running up to the doors, apparently recognizing the smell of his own home of some time ago. Shari followed behind him hesitantly, looking around for any sign of movement.

- Come on, don't be shy, - Lisa cooed, as if luring in a small child. Her greyish form paused on one spot, waiting for Shari by the door. The girl looked around one more time as she joined the ghost on the final steps,

- Are you... Sure? This doesn't look completely abandoned. I mean, can you be sure he isn't home? That he won't be back soon? Clearly you can’t, why am I even asking… This was a terrible idea straight from the beginning, - she was visibly shacking, clenching and unclenching her fists, stepping from one foot to the other. The whole journey suddenly felt like a big mistake that could still be possibly abandoned if she did not take the final leap. Shari put her hand on the door handle then pulled away in fear. She took a deep breath, putting her palm back more steadily on the door, but was still hesitant to push it open. She paused. There was once again the dreadful howl from before, now closer to them, the creature producing it still not visible. They were standing in almost complete darkness.

- Go! - Lisa pressed.

Rodo leaped on spot beside them.

Shari held her breath – and finally pushed the handle and jumped inside, scared to even look in forward and terrified of what was awaiting behind, diving head-first into unknown - if he is there, let it be, she'd rather be torn apart by him than by whatever thing outside that let out those blood-freezing sounds; Rodo slid in too, in a ghastly manner, his massive form unnaturally smoothly squeezing through the small gap in the doorway and the next moment the door was shut behind her with a loud blow. She was finally inside Dracula's castle.

#please don't judge me #i'm trying #castlevania #dracula x oc #dracula x reader #vlad dracula #vlad dracula țepeș #lisa fahrenheit #sypha belnades #trevor belmont #adrian tepes #alucard #my writing #castlevania fanfiction

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hot-wiings · 4 years ago

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The One Where Dabi Gets Involved With Overhaul’s Girl, Part Eighteen.

Edited: 3-26-2021

A month had passed since Kai announced your engagement, and a month had passed since your pregnancy became public knowledge. You ran your fingers over your stomach, you weren't really showing yet. You knew as the weeks progressed you would blow up like a bowling ball and your stomach would pop open like a flower. As of right now, you had the smallest, most insignificant bump, only you knew it was there and it was only visible with your shirt up.

You looked up from your spot on the couch to Dabi. You hadn't had a moment to talk to him with Hari around. Per what he said to Kai, he had been watching you like a hawk. You hadn't been able to speak to each other freely, let alone even look in each other's direction. Your lingering touches were no longer, your sweet whispered words were gone.

You knew you had to stop such actions due to Hari's presence and watchful eyes, yet part of you couldn't help but feel that the affections you used to brazenly show each other in private had been turned unwanted. Not being alone meant you hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Dabi about this baby, your baby.

You still had no idea if he wanted you both, this was a two-for-one deal now, and it was a tie-breaker you were not willing to get rid of. The true father of your baby was still an unanswered question. An unanswered question you weren't sure mattered to Dabi. Asking Dabi to risk his life for the sake of a baby that might not be his was a huge favor. That was if he even wanted a baby, another unanswered question that sent nerves sparking throughout your body.

Noticing Hari see your eyes on Dabi you quickly come up with something to say to him. You quickly come up with a reason to talk to him. You don't want to make yourself, nor Dabi look suspicious. Anything noteworthy that Hari sees he will take directly to Kai. You didn't want to raise suspicions simply for looking at him.

"I can't believe I'll be naming a baby in seven months. Any suggestions?"

"Let me guess, Kai is leaning towards junior for a boy."

Dabi's face tightens as he says the words, and you suppose to was an unfair question to ask but it was all you could think up on the fly at that moment. Presuming Dabi wanted this baby, it was unfair to ask him such things knowing that if this baby was born before you escaped, then it would be Kai helping you name them.

Presuming that Dabi wanted this baby, it was already unfair that he couldn't be with you, it was unfair he couldn't help you. It wasn't him pulling back your hair when you threw up, it was Kai. It wasn't him rubbing your shoulders, it was Kai. It wasn't him coddling and taking care of you, it was Kai.

Of course, that was presuming and wishful thinking. For all that you really knew he was upset and his tightened smile was out of anger towards Kai and this baby. Anger that this baby was ruining things, ruining his plan to get you and Eri out, and ruining your disclosed and deeply harbored feelings for each other. Anger towards Kai for having possibly gotten you pregnant, anger this baby might actually belong to a monster and not him.

This uncertainty on his feelings was tearing you apart. You didn't know what he wanted, and you didn't know what he was thinking. He could resent this baby, he could hate them, or he could love them. He could be thinking about how he wanted to whisk you away from Kai, he could be thinking about how he wants a family with you, or he could be thinking about not helping you and Eri at all. Knowing him, knowing his own upbringing, and how his own father acted towards him did not help shake the feeling that maybe he didn't want you and this baby anymore.

"I think Kai Junior would be a lovely name."

Hari, ever-delightful to praise Kai, even in his absence speaks up commending the name. There was no way you'd ever name your child after Kai. Even if this baby ends up being Kai's, even if they had his genes, you would not raise them to be like him. You would not raise them to be such a monster.

"Well, we will have to take it into consideration, but I think I want something more original."

You feel a firm hand slide over your shoulders from behind you, squeezing them in a comforting way. The assailant presses his thumb into your skin in such an intricate way you know exactly who it is. The exact monster whose name you're conversing about.

"Kai Junior has a nice ring to it. We'll discuss it, but whatever we agree on is sure to be perfect."

Kai's voice meets your ears as he leans in close and presses a kiss on your cheek. You want to pull away, you want to reject it. Not with Dabi in front of you, not with you being unsure of his feelings for you and this baby. Showing affection towards Kai feels like a betrayal. Quite ironic seemingly since your shared feelings with Dabi were in fact a betrayal to Kai. You know it would be stupid to pull away from Kai, things have been going good lately. Due to this pregnancy he had given you some of your freedom back, even if it was just a shard of freedom, even the smallest shred felt like a lifetime.

You had Kai utterly convinced you were in love. Whether he thought you were suffering from Stockholm syndrome or were genuinely in love with him didn't matter. He believed you loved him, and that was enough.

"All done with work for the day?"

"No, I needed Hari for some important matters. It'll just be you and Dabi for the rest of the day."

Kai had been keeping his plans more secretive. He was keeping things in front of Dabi and the other league members on a need-to-know basis. You could tell it was making them antsy, and Kai seemed stressed. Although, he hadn't been taking that stress out on you as he used to. Something big was going down soon, you just knew it.

"Okay, be safe."

You give Kai a quick kiss on the lips before he moved away from you and out of the room with Hari hot on his heels. You felt disgusted for having to put on such a display of affection for him, but as you watched him and Hari disappear further and further away, the feelings in your stomach transitioned from disgust to relief, and that relief slowly turned to nervousness. You felt achy and sick, it wasn't the morning sickness that conveniently happened in the afternoon and evening.

This was the first time you would be alone with Dabi since you announced your pregnancy. You would finally be able to discuss it, you would finally be able to talk about what this would mean for your both. You would finally find out whether he wanted this baby, whether he wanted to be a father. You would finally get to put your nerves to rest, but the idea of talking about this made you uneasy.

What if he didn't want this baby? What if he no longer wanted you. You didn't know what you would do without him. While you hated being so codependent on someone, he was all you had. He was your only shot of escaping Kai alive, he was your only shot at getting Eri out safe and now he was the possible father of your baby. He was the man you loved, and If he rejected you, you, and your baby, you would be forced to live an unhappy life going around as Kai's wife for the sake of your baby.

You and Dabi stare at each other in silence for a moment, as if daring one of you to make the first move to break it. Dabi stood up from where he was sitting and made long stridefull steps to the couch you were sitting on. He takes a seat next to you and loosely grabs your hand. The action somewhat puts your gut at ease. He wasn't being cold and distant, that was a good sign, wasn't it?

"You're pregnant, huh?"

"Yeah, Kai did an ultrasound and everything."

"Do you know whose it is?"

You pulled your lip in between your teeth and bit down. Here was the hard part. You didn't know who the actual father was, and you didn't know what that meant to Dabi. It could be hard to father another man's baby. Every day Dabi would have to look in his child's face and possibly see Kai.

"No, the times we... You overlapped each other. I- Are you upset? Does it bother you Kai might be the father?"

"No, no. It's mine."

"How can you be so sure?"

Dabi's grip on your hand tightened as he brought it up to his mouth and left a little kiss on top of your knuckles.

"Doesn't matter who the father is, does it? I'm gonna help you raise it- them. My money is going towards their education and living expenses, my time is going towards raising them into being a good person in such a shitty, unfair world. I'm going to be the father, doesn't matter what a piece of paper or blood work says. They'll be mine, ours."

"So you want them? You want us?"

"You know I had a crap dad, I'll admit when I first found out it scared me. I don't want to be like him, the thought of raising a child and being like him scares me. I'm not going to be like him, I'll be so much better."

"You will! You'll be a great dad."

You reached into the pocket of your pants and pulled out the ultrasound photo. It had gotten a bit beat up because you had it floating around in your pocket ever since you had it taken, you wanted to give it to Dabi as soon as you got the chance. You took the folded photo and placed it in Dabi's hand.

"I want you to have this, just don't let anyone see or know you have it."

You watched in anticipation as Dabi unfolded the photo and looked at it. His own small smile displayed on his face as he refolded it and placed it in the inner pocket of his jacket, secure and safe from prying eyes.

"They're so small."

"I had it taken a month ago, I won't get another until the middle of my second trimester."

"Hijire."

"Hijire?"

Dabi flashed you a smile as he pulled your hand up and kissed your knuckles again. He let out a low chuckle as if he had a very funny joke running through his head.

"I like the name Hijire. Earlier you asked for a suggestion, and I like Hijire."

"Baby Hijire, I like it."

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chenoehi · 5 years ago

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My thoughts on Grammys, BTS, and the Academy's supposed 'diversity'.

Can't do 'Keep Reading' on mobile guys so if you don't care about it keep on scrolling.

The only BTS music I thought might have a slim chance for a nomination was "Boy With Luv (ft. Halsey)" as a pop duo collaboration. That was it. Anything more than that was just wishful thinking.

The Academy (both Grammy and Oscar's) talk about diversity when controversy comes up, they give some Black artists and actors awards, they look like try-hards, and then the next year they repeat history. Each year more men continue to be nominated than women, even in years that women dominated the industry. Each year artists who push boundaries continue to be overlooked or less favored than more traditional artists. Each year recognition continues to be bulk awarded to the most basic artists with the most basic styles with the most basic music, often times the same (mostly white) artists each year. No one get me started on always having to award artists like Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran or Adele each year they make music, despite whether or not what they put out is actually good, original, or better than what they did the year before. I'm not singling them out, but I think they illustrate my point. I will make one exception for Adele because she is a phenomenal singer, although I did not personally believe 25 deserved to sweep; I've been told by fans that Ed Sheeran is a good performer, so I'll give him that but I'll keep my thoughts of his music and the rest of my opinions to myself. But I get tired of artists like these getting nominated every time or almost every time they put music out and then getting awards every time they're nominated, hence sweeping. It gets tiring when the music that frequently-awarded artists put out sucks and they keep raking noms because of who they are.

There is absolutely nothing BTS or any other Asian et al. artists can do to beat that system. None of the criticism in the world has changed it thus far and I don't know that anything ever will. It's a hard institution to tear down. They will use "diverse" artists for ratings by inviting them and having them hand out awards and, in BTS's case, making such a big deal as to even display their Grammy outfits in the museum, and then they will refuse to nominate them.

It's a back handed compliment to non-Western artists. The Academy is saying they're good enough to help win over a predominantly younger and more diverse generation of viewers but they're not good enough to be awarded for their achievements.

What's worse is, the only expectation I had was for the Academy to invite them as performers despite whatever minuscule nomination they might have garnered, because it's been clearly hinted they would attend another Grammys and the Academy would frankly be fools to not have them perform after the shitstorm going on the pop industry rn. If you know anything about the Taylor Swift situation (you may not be able to tell which one because there are always so many) who knows if she will be performing this Grammys, and her medley of her songs was supposedly going to be a highlight; something's always stirring things up so who knows if certain artists don't end up going at all or bow out of performing. Ariana Grande bailed on the 2019 Grammys because the Grammy producer wouldn't let her perform songs she wanted to, and these kinds of disputes happen and artists who are nominated become no-shows. So, the opportunity to invite a group with a huge following, who have already proved to increase ratings, seems like a sure move right?

But BTS can't exactly perform at the Grammys if they're not nominated for a Grammy; I don't see them doing a tribute any time soon either. And if the Academy even dares to invite them at this point for a performance it will be an insult and a transparent ratings grab. BTS may still go to avoid appearing as if their pride has been wounded or just because they want to go regardless. They know better than their fans how it feels to lose, to be discarded, to be overlooked. This is happening to them first and foremost, not us. And if they decide that they will deal with this the same way they dealt with all their other struggles, to push on, perform for their fans, and use the opportunity of exposure for what it's worth, then support them and their decision. I, for one, won't be watching it live regardless of whether they are there. If all the Academy wants is ratings from BTS fans when they are fine with treating them like garbage, they won't get ratings from me.

I fully believe that the Academy is not only discriminatory to non-Western, non-white artists but that failing to nominate BTS for any award at all is out of fear. Fear that their traditional, safe artists will be offended and boycott the awards if they lose out on a nomination, fear that their fanbases will retaliate, but more importantly, fear that BTS or any other gigantic force of a non-Western artist may be a shoe-in for whatever award they are nominated for and potentially sweep if allowed to compete with all other artists. This comes after BTS won Best Group at the Billboard Music Awards this year. Their first time being nominated for a major U.S. award category. It wasn't even a Best New Artist schtick. It was a main category and they were up against established, popular, Western groups like Imagine Dragons and Maroon 5. It comes on the heels of Super M earning number 1 debut album and beginning a successful tour they are on right now. It comes after Blackpink performed at Coachella and toured the country. It comes after NCT 127 and ATEEZ toured the country. Even TXT, a months old group, had successful showcases in major U.S. cities.

The Academy is too racist and xenophobic to acknowledge Asian artists--they always have been and they always will be. The most diversity we'll see is the nomination of Black artists, but still only 2 were nominated for SotY whereas 4 were nominated for RotY. I don't know the exact numbers, but any time I've ever kept up with the awards I don't see very many other diversity groups being represented in nominations either, such as artists with disabilities or LGBT artists who have different gender expressions and identities or sexual orientations that impact their music, performance, and artistry. Halsey's intimate performance at the BBMAs with that female dancer was huge because that's just not something that's really done. Still. And any time it does happen it's a Britney and Madonna moment all over again, it's a fetish to everyone. Progress has been made but it's very minuscule in comparison to the 'diversity' touting approach they've taken.

I'll just leave the words of this morning's Rolling Stone article here:

So, the Academy selectively extends its diversity goodwill just as they always have. No shade to the artist, but just using this example of Lil Nas X versus BTS, you have a young Black, gay artist who started his career in late 2018. He's nominated for some of top Grammys with a minimal discography--an 18-minute EP. This is groundbreaking, it's great. BTS, a 6-year-old established group of young Korean artists who break nearly every record there is and dominated Western charts this spring, and they continue to chart Billboard and Western streaming platforms. They earn no nominations.

The two artists ironically happen to have a collaboration in the form of Old Seoul Road.

Congrats to Lizzo and Lil Nas X (that's not shade at Billie btw) but this tweet from the New York Times is so unbelievably misguided because the Academy's conception of diversity is like seasoning with mostly salt, a little pepper and no cayenne (hate to use that analogy but am I wrong?):

I do appreciate that some artists who don't get nominated a lot got nominations, but looking at the list of top awards I just can't imagine how some of those got through. And I listen to a lot of different music and some BTS stans may have know idea who the fuck Bon Iver is and I'm not saying they don't deserve nominations period, but when you look at the list it's just mind boggling how a song like BWL that was listened to and appreciated like a summer anthem would be could not be included in that mess. (Vampire Weekend for Album of the Year, what, who the fuck, is that, they've been around since 2006, that's when I listened to nothing but metal and rock and I don't, know who the fuck this obscure band is? I may have heard of them once eons ago but they apparently made no impression? I'm sorry). I won't go as far as to say BWL was a Western summer anthem because much of the gp still doesn't know them, this is true. But apparently that's never stopped the Academy before. Bonus, anyone remember Bon Iver winning Best New Artist over Katy Perry all those years ago? No, just me? Good times. (Respect to Bon Iver, I'm just making a point that a lesser known artist won that award over a popular artist and the public went "waH?" Bon Iver being nominated for Record and Album of the Year this time honestly has the same effect as before because what is Hey, Ma even. I listen to Indie music so. What it is.)

Anyway. That's my thoughts. Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed is a myth. You will always have room to be disappointed in humanity.

Edit: while I'm at it, a big, massive fuck you to the Academy for never nominating Halsey for Without You.

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Liam & Edie

Liam: get out of work early, I need your help Edie: alright Edie: what are we doing? Liam: I finished a 🎬📽🎞 & it has to be screened tonight at a specific time Edie: do you know what cinema you wanna infiltrate Edie: like, max capacity blockbuster moment or a more independent arthouse style? Edie: I have ideas for both, if you don't already Liam: gotta be sold out seats for max exposure Edie: looking up whatever dumb superhero shit is on right now Liam: put the word out for me too, yeah? 📢 you've got more 👀 on you Edie: of course Edie: keep it vague but intriguing? Edie: what's the angle Liam: my sister is Edie: your sister? Liam: she's 16, would've been Liam: today Edie: the film is for her Edie: not a hard sell Edie: every twat loves a party Liam: every twat's forgotten about her already Liam: I have to do something Edie: I'll get all the people there I can Edie: 16 is a big one Liam: I'm looking for a cake to blow up Liam: big enough to splatter lots of rows but not too huge to sneak in Edie: really do need a pram Edie: if you do wanna go big, my ma has a kiln, easy to bake in and quicker Edie: I could put it in a backpack or some ridiculously oversized handbag my sister has Liam: you're amazing Edie: you or the audience haven't tasted the cake yet Liam: be more fitting if it tastes bad Liam: like we're shoving bittersweet down everyone's throats Liam: & in their faces Edie: that's easily done Edie: toxic hazard here we come Edie: how long have you been working on the vid? Liam: a while Edie: are you happy with it? Liam: there's no more time left to do edits Liam: I gotta get it out there, like I said Liam: 18 is gonna need something bigger Edie: timing is key Edie: did you talk about it Edie: what she'd want to do Liam: looking that far ahead wasn't something she let herself do Edie: that's fair Edie: I haven't looked that far ahead before Edie: we'll make it special Edie: something she'd approve of Liam: there has to be some way to throw a party after that's not the standard gay shit Edie: an anti-party Liam: yeah, without being ☢️ & barcode tattoos about it Edie: so a disgusting cake, what else can we fuck up Edie: bastardized 🎈s are almost a given Edie: maybe we can play some party games Liam: use your talents on the happy birthday song Edie: I'll do my best for you both Edie: did she believe anything happened after you die? Liam: she wanted to come back as someone else, show up back in my life just when she reckoned it'd gotten settled & boring Liam: but I don't think she really believed that, just didn't want me to turn into one of those twats Edie: yeah, most people want to believe something like that Edie: some continuation Edie: but the percentage who genuinely do, I don't know Liam: a lot of shit she said was for my benefit of my ma's, I don't know if she knew I knew that but I did Edie: Yeah Edie: but through reassuring you, she was probably trying to give herself that same comfort Edie: again, whether it worked is unlikely, but we keep going 'til we don't Liam: yeah Liam: I have certainty in her not wanting everyone to act as if she was never here this fast, I'm going with that Liam: her friends, a lad she liked, they're supposed to give more of a shit Edie: we'll make them remember Edie: I was thinking Edie: she'd be in transition year now Edie: they're always having bollocks seminars and lectures Edie: that would be easy to hijack Edie: well, not easy, but we could Liam: you're so fucking smart Liam: I didn't even think Edie: it'd be a way to get the ones who won't hear our call tonight Edie: which are arguably the ones who need a lesson in caring more so Liam: keep it going like pass the parcel Edie: a project worth the waste of time that whole year is Liam: then a holiday, me & you Liam: where we won't waste any time Edie: are we going to find a holiday home? Liam: did you like living with me? Edie: so much Edie: I wanna live with you properly Edie: all the time Liam: then yeah, we'll find a holiday home & when we get back you can move into mine Edie: really? Liam: our mas will both have shit to say about it but so do we Edie: if they're really going to object to that degree Edie: we'll work for enough money to rent our own place Liam: & sleep wherever else we have to until we've got that Edie: as long as I'm with you Edie: I miss you when I'm not Liam: I wanna be with you all the time too Edie: maybe if we split our time between mine and yours, they wouldn't even notice Liam: they can tell themselves they're keeping a better 👀 on us if we do Edie: yeah, and it's not 'as serious' as moving in together Edie: in their minds Edie: guess it'd be better if we were going 'round sleeping with anyone and everyone Liam: I've had more offers since I got a girlfriend than before Liam: must be a shared view between our parents & lots of the girls at school Edie: 😡 Edie: adds to them feeling something if they get to fuck someone over at the same time as, I guess Liam: I'll never hurt you or let anyone else do it Edie: I know you won't Liam: I love you Edie: I love you Edie: no one is gonna stop us from living the life we want Liam: [a pic of a pram he has stolen for her to fill with stuff and there's a birthday pinata in there currently like oh hi] Liam: I found this for you Edie: 😍 Edie: Baby! Edie: you got me wheels Liam: I couldn't stop thinking about you struggling with a heavy backpack Edie: You're so sweet and I'm so excited Edie: is what's going in the pinata a surprise? Liam: I was gonna tell you but lets keep the excitement going Edie: is it 🕷s Edie: or 🦷 Liam: do you know where I can get that many 🦷? Liam: that'd be a great idea Edie: 🤔 Edie: maybe a vet's dumpster Edie: think people dentists study 'em Liam: maybe my ma kept our 👶 teeth Liam: I'll have a look Edie: Mine kept hers Edie: you'd need quite a few to make an impression Liam: the fake blood I'm gonna add will help Liam: but you're right Edie: there's loads of roadkill around mine Edie: could get that for the 🦴🦴 Liam: I don't know if I want you touching it though Liam: you could get sick or something Edie: I've got gloves Edie: the only illness they had was potentially bad eyesight 🚗 Liam: you've gotta be careful, baby Edie: okay Edie: for you Edie: how else can I help you though? Edie: the cake is in Liam: keep thinking, all your ideas are perfect Edie: I wanna be Edie: what about spiking the drinks, but not in a fun way Edie: or is that too 👿 Edie: just a laxative or something, nothing mad Liam: it don't matter, we won't drink it Edie: I definitely won't Edie: don't even miss any of it Liam: we need something that'll make them 🤮 she did lots of that Liam: only fair Edie: what does that 💊🧪 wise Edie: too much salt is a dead giveaway with one sip Liam: charcoal is probably too big a giveaway too Liam: & you can't get ipecac no more Edie: 😕 ugh Liam: we'll have to settle for the laxatives Edie: they'll make themselves sick all on their own Liam: you did make a fucking disgusting cake Edie: you don't even wanna know what I put in it 😏 Liam: I want all your secrets Edie: you can have everything Edie: [a gruesome list of god knows what] Edie: it smells so gross cooking right now Liam: don't make yourself 🤮 Edie: I'm getting some fresh air Liam: what can you 👀? Edie: from here, the pond Edie: which also smells, so I might need to go look at the 🍅🥔s growing instead Liam: go decide on your outfit Edie: what do you want me to look like? Liam: beautiful Edie: nothing more specific? Liam: nah, not until I've seen what you come up with Liam: you test well Edie: 🤞 Liam: 😍 Edie: that's what I want Edie: always Liam: I want you Edie: I can't wait to go away with you Edie: are we going to the sea Liam: we can Liam: we can go anywhere you like Edie: I just wanna watch the sun go down under the waves with you Liam: you watch that, I'll watch your face while it does Edie: You're so Edie: you make me feel like a person Edie: a real one, that matters Liam: you matter to me, Eds Edie: I'm not used to this feeling Liam: you know I'm not either Liam: we'll get used to it Edie: it's like I believe you but I can't believe it Edie: if that makes sense Liam: I get it Liam: I do need you to believe me though Edie: I do Edie: you're just perfect Liam: nah, I'm not Edie: to me then Liam: whatever's wrong with me, we're good together Edie: we're going to make a perfect baby Edie: that always feels like a person Liam: I'm gonna love it even if things go wrong Liam: I need you to know that too Edie: I know you will Edie: and I believe that Edie: I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't Edie: you won't be able to not love your own child Edie: even if it's hard Liam: & I'll wanna be with you, perfect or not Liam: whatever else happens Edie: we can do it Edie: I love you and I want it to work Edie: I wanna be a good mum and give the baby all the love and attention and everything it could ever want and need Edie: that is so much more than most people have Liam: the baby is so fortunate to have you for its ma Liam: you've done everything right already & its not even here yet Edie: I wanna do it right Edie: I can't imagine doing it wrong Liam: I know you will Liam: you set your mind on shit & it gets done, that's how you are Edie: makes me sound like an assassin Edie: don't hate that Liam: I don't hate thinking about you holding a 🔪 Edie: next video Liam: it'll be on my mind until then Edie: I can give you a preview Edie: if you show me the fake blood Liam: [does obviously] Edie: 🤤 Liam: I made extra for you knowing you'd be into it Edie: That's just one of the reasons we work Liam: are you gonna give me the rest of them? Edie: I'll start on the list but I don't know if it'll ever be done enough to be conclusive Edie: and I'd hate for you to think I'm not serious Liam: that's another reason why we work Edie: see, they keep adding up Edie: good thing I didn't commit to tattooing it on me Edie: run out of space so quick Liam: I don't think her video is done enough Liam: I don't know what to do Edie: You'll regret it if you miss her birthday, I think Edie: you'll have chances to add to it and improve on it every year if you want Edie: it's a tough one to know what's enough on, yeah Edie: 'cos what could be Liam: if it's shit I'll have ruined her birthday Edie: do you think it's shit? Liam: I can't tell Liam: I can't feel anything Edie: I can watch it before you show it Edie: or you can just do it Edie: they aren't going to forget it though, regardless, and that's what you want, yeah Edie: for them to remember her Liam: you've gotta watch it on a big screen Liam: I'll watch you & I'll know if it's good or not Edie: okay Edie: I won't tell you I know it'll be good Edie: cheapen my actual reaction Liam: 👌 what do you wanna tell me instead? Edie: another reason we work is you're talented and creative too Liam: I have to try to bring something to the table if we want a perfect baby Edie: you mean aside from how insanely hot you are Liam: its gonna look like you so that don't count Edie: maybe it'll get to be tall like you Edie: my 10 year old sister is already taller than me Liam: you only wanna be taller for kissing me Liam: there'll be a no dating rule until they're like old enough to properly move out Edie: might save your back, that's all Edie: they won't need to, they'll be happy with us Liam: I've already saved yours with this pram, I'm not bothered about mine Edie: but I am Edie: I'll invest in some stilts Liam: & have you snatched up by the circus, nah Liam: don't matter if its twins in there, I'll pick you all up Edie: 🥰 Edie: you make me look and feel like that emoji, legitimately Liam: [a picture of some random people he's sneakily taken a photo of while he's out and about and changed so they have no eyes because he misses and wants to see her rn] Edie: ooh baby Edie: 👁s would be a great pinata filling Liam: have we got time to turn 🍇 or some gay shit into 👀 like a ma on halloween? Edie: OH Edie: speaking of mas Edie: just had a 💡 Liam: what? Edie: she has mealworms to feed the 🐦🦅s Edie: too late for the cake but how perfect Liam: genius Edie: my next idea was going to get some caviar but I don't think my wage is stretching that far Liam: I could steal some Liam: dunno where the fuck from though Edie: bet they don't have any at the spar Edie: there are tadpoles in the pond but I'm not murdering them Liam: the worms will work Liam: I'm on my way to yours, how long til the cake is cooked? Edie: you're coming here Edie: 😄😄😄 the excitement is only going ↗️ Edie: about 10 minutes, though a bit of burning can't hurt Liam: I thought you'd like a hand with decorating Edie: I'd like to see you Liam: you miss me too Edie: so bad Liam: I know Edie: come see me Liam: I kept the secret for as long as I could but I'm nearly there now Edie: no secrets, right Liam: I don't want there to be Edie: I'll tell you everything you wanna know Liam: tell me what we're doing tomorrow Liam: after this Edie: we're gonna get in the car and drive 'til we get somewhre we want to stop Edie: and we'll get fish and chips and ice cream and play on the beach and then we can talk about bringing the baby back and doing it all again Liam: the baby's face when it eats ice cream for the first time Liam: & feels what sand is like Liam: we'll film it all Edie: 🥺 Edie: I feel like I might cry? Liam: everything we don't remember any more we'll do again with our 👶 Edie: there's so much good stuff to relive Edie: stuff we didn't get to do too Liam: yeah, there's lots of shit I've not done Liam: I used to feel properly awkward about it Edie: just 'cos my childhood was weird in an 'exotic' way doesn't mean it weren't too Edie: there's loads of Irish childhood staples that we didn't have Edie: we'll make that list too, for the 👶 Liam: I can't think of a better way to start the baby book Edie: I'm gonna do it for your birthday Liam: yeah? Edie: I've got a feeling Liam: that might be knowing that I'm outside Edie: [dramatic run out] Liam: [we know he's as extra and would immediately stop whatever he's doing/ drop whatever he's holding so they can kiss dramatically, don't get a hole in that pinata yet sir] Edie: [ah you crazy kids, dunno where the rest of the fam is tbh] Liam: [100% gonna say he puts her in the pram and pushes her into this gaff like a giant nerd, so imagine her just squished in there please] Edie: [LOL adorable, try not to break it already] Liam: [you probably don't have time to do pram repairs on top of everything else lads] Edie: [we got schemes honey] Liam: [if you don't draw on each other with icing pens when you're decorating this cake I don't wanna know either of you] Edie: [my boo has put her foot down] Liam: [all the tattoo practice and ideas in any possible artistic medium thank you] Liam: [we all know what saucy behaviour you'll be getting up to as soon as he gets there though] Edie: [but the softest ever tbh 'cos a tough day and you just wanna make sure he's okay] Liam: [honestly there's only so busy you can keep yourself boy, we all see you] Edie: [not gonna force you to talk on it but also gonna be clear it's an option] Liam: [he's just trying to get today over with as if tomorrow and on any other day he won't think about it, oh hun] Edie: [mood] Liam: [where is his mother? what is she doing rn? those are my real questions] Edie: [sad things don't think about it Liam: [anyway we know the vibe so is there anything else you wanna make a point of happening rn before we skip to the aftermath?] Edie: [hmhmhmmm we can probably skip] Liam: [everyone gonna be cross at you lads] Edie: [I like to think the fam was there earlier so they were already moody, but then you come back with the police and you're gonna skip town tomorrow so lol] Liam: [his poor mum having to go down the garda station when she's already living her best life, likewise gonna be in a great mood] Edie: [safe to say you will not be invited back tonight gal] Liam: [Rio is gonna tear Liam a new one cos he was all I'm gonna look after her it's chill when they last talked haha] Edie: [oh lordy] Liam: [I just hope they got to do all their creepy plans before the police ruined it] Edie: [or at least the important ones, and that it went well in that people are talking about it] Liam: [gotta let you have that] Edie: [tis important and a mood] Edie: how's your ma now Liam: she's still going Edie: I thought she'd like it Edie: if you explained what you did Liam: she likes what we did but not how Liam: she don't understand that playing it in the sitting room wouldn't work Edie: she wants to keep it all private Edie: if people feel uncomfortable it's only because they should Liam: we know that Edie: is she more 😭 or 😤 Edie: one is easier to deal with Liam: it's both, at the same time for a while Edie: that must be so exhausting Liam: it's just what she's like Edie: you've not really known her any different? Liam: I must have, but I don't remember Liam: not clear enough Edie: I'm sorry Edie: if I could've taken the blame harder, I would've Liam: I don't want you to take any of it Edie: I don't care about getting into trouble Liam: you will if it sticks next time & you maybe can't earn as much cash Liam: be the perfect ma you've set your heart on Edie: not at the sake of you though Edie: it's so unfair I couldn't take my fair share Liam: you did, you weren't there for the shit I did before that got me my talking to from the 🐷 Liam: it's about her not you Edie: yeah, I know Edie: wish we'd saved the pinata for them though 🐷🤮☠ Liam: we'll make a 🎬📹 I've still got the rave masks Edie: Yes Edie: it's the least we can do Liam: you'll feel a bit better at least Edie: no, it's not about me Edie: how do you think it went, before they showed Liam: you thought it went decently I could see it in your 👀 Edie: it did Edie: it was beautiful Edie: but did you like it? Liam: I reckon she would've Edie: she'd be proud, for sure Liam: yeah Edie: but I am, whilst I can't guarantee that Edie: I can this Edie: are we still going tomorrow Liam: I'll show up, if you can't get out send me a 6 Edie: I'll get out Liam: safely Liam: I'm not gonna watch you fall out your window Edie: I won't, babe Edie: no guard dogs here Edie: they can't keep permanent watch Liam: no 🔥🌉 either though Liam: your ma must already hate me Edie: I'm not staying though Edie: I'll pretend to listen to them Liam: I understand baby, I don't want to be here Edie: I want to take you to the beach Liam: we'll go then Liam: smooth it over after if we have to Edie: I don't know how to care about making them happy, never mind doing it Liam: all you need to do is say what they wanna hear Edie: wait 'til they hear about the baby Liam: we just won't tell them until your 🤰 makes us Edie: but 'til then Edie: literally who knows what they want Liam: we know what your sister wants, she told me Liam: we'll base it off that, be good Edie: 🙄 Edie: she's a fine one to talk Liam: don't you wanna behave with me & for me? Edie: for you, not them Liam: I'm only asking you to do it for me Liam: so they won't be getting in our way Edie: what do you want me to do now then? Edie: tell me Liam: explain why we did it but pretend you're sorry that it got out of hand Edie: alright Edie: I'll hate every second of it but I'll do it Liam: I'll make it up to you Edie: tell me how Liam: 💍 Liam: I'll get you one Edie: you already got me a pram Liam: that was for the 👶 too, I wanna give you something that's just yours Edie: oh Edie: will I have to hide it too though Liam: as long as you don't bury it Edie: we could pretend it's not THE 💍 Edie: put it on a different finger Liam: you've still got great ideas after earlier Liam: you really are a genius Edie: Hardly Edie: I'm just trying very hard to be very good for you Liam: you don't even have to try Edie: I do when it means having to hide how I feel about you Liam: nobody can say shit about me promising to marry you one day Edie: they say all kinds of shit Liam: you don't have to hide that we're in love whatever they say Edie: I never will Edie: they know I am, that they can't change that Liam: if you don't wanna be good we can leave tonight Edie: you're right that it'll make shit easier Edie: I can ignore them Liam: I don't care about shit being easier if you're not happy Edie: I am happy Edie: they might not be happy with the way it's come about but they can't harp on it too hard without making me miserable Liam: I couldn't have done everything today without you Edie: I'm glad I could do that for you Edie: that's how it should be Edie: is going to Edie: I've got your back, you've got mine Liam: yeah, like a family Liam: me & you are, however long this baby takes to show up Edie: there's nothing you could ask that was too much of me, seriously Liam: not a test this time Edie: can handle it either way Liam: I know 👀 Liam: but I can't handle missing you more than I do, if you wanna like be a huge bitch to me or something like Edie: I could try if you wanna be less loveable for a sec too Liam: one sec I'll have to try & stop thinking about how alive you were tonight first Liam: & find a less gay way to say it than that while I'm working on it Edie: you say gay, I say workable lyric or tat inspo Liam: when you've filtered it through your 🧠 it'll be right Liam: all I know is beautiful wouldn't be good enough Liam: 🎇🎆 Liam: either Liam: I think the closest would be when you get a puddle of petrol, all those colours, that kinda bullshit Edie: I wish I could tattoo that onto me Edie: a bruise would be closest to that Edie: but I wish I could see me how you see me more Liam: I'll start filming, see what I can do Edie: you have a year 'til my birthday too Liam: lots of chances to get footage then Edie: be good for the baby too, when it grows up Edie: see we loved them before they even got here Liam: we'll record as much as we can Liam: starting at the beach tomorrow Edie: we'll make a sandcastle dreamhouse Edie: and find the perfect shell to start a collection for them Liam: I don't think I've ever made one Edie: 1/8 ratio water to sand is a good start Edie: then it depends if you want the castle buckets, or a plain one so you can sculpt it yourself Edie: add seaweed, shells and pebbles, et voila Liam: I'm gonna look for enough shells to make a mobile too Edie: 🌌🧠💡 Liam: maybe we can make it sound on top of looking nice Edie: if we find some driftwood too, that would be 🔝 Liam: we'll go back if we don't Liam: until we do Edie: if we like it we can move there Liam: what kind of 🏠 do you want? Edie: one that's the perfect size for just us three Edie: and always feels cosy and like a home and is the place you actually always wanna come back to because it's that comforting Liam: 🗺❌ Liam: I'll take you hunting Edie: maybe we'll find another to takeover when we're down there Liam: lots of them are holiday homes now summer's over they'll be empty Edie: and not everyone invests in good security, even though they're rich enough to Liam: pick the one you like best, I'll get us in Liam: most people don't bother changing their alarm codes from the default Edie: right Edie: they kinda deserve it Liam: if you're not gonna treat your shit like you want it, someone else will take it Liam: why not us Edie: 9️⃣9️⃣9️⃣ Liam: how long can we stay this time without your ma calling that number herself? Edie: when we're on our way, I could tell her we've gone Edie: rude of her to stifle our creativity 📹🎞📼 Edie: but if we give her something, she might freak less Liam: you got any 🎁 in mind? Edie: you mean getting her a stick of rock or? Liam: whatever works Liam: you know I'll do it Edie: It's not even you, they admit they don't know you Edie: maybe we give them the chance, when we do come back? Liam: 🎲 Liam: alright Edie: it might be totally unbearable Edie: I make no promises to the contrary Liam: you don't have to, you'll be there Liam: unbearable is when you're not Liam: like now Edie: I know Edie: it hurts my heart not being with you right now Liam: if my ma decides to stop, I'll call you Edie: do Edie: I'll get out of here as soon as I'm physically able Liam: me too Liam: even if it means I'm waiting outside for you 👀 Liam: 🛰🌏 Edie: You can wait outside my window any time Liam: 📹🎞📼 Liam: 🤫 Edie: 😳 Edie: everything you do is hot Liam: I'm thinking about you whenever I do anything, maybe that's why Edie: I won't dispute that Edie: even though you definitely deserve more credit Liam: you can give it to me when the credits roll on your film & you realise what you look like to me Liam: & that everything I do is to turn you on or make you smile, laugh, all that happy shit Edie: I don't know what I ever did to deserve you Edie: but I'll be a better person from now if it means I get to keep you forever Liam: nah, don't change a single thing Edie: 🤏 😈 🤏 😇 Edie: got it Liam: we won't show every 🎬🎞 to the 👶 Liam: or every 🎤🎧 either come to think of it Edie: got to have things to protect them from Edie: may as well be us, not actually a threat Liam: [sending her all the cute baby videos such as when they eat a 🍋 etc like this will be us because we can't be dealing with our mother popping off anymore] Edie: [sending her stuff of the twins 'cos that big sister evidently lol] Edie: him* soz babe Liam: [Grace would die if she knew] Edie: [when you are 10 and MORTIFIED honey] Liam: [when his ma is having a breakdown and he's just spamming the bae with random adorable baby content from the internet casually] Edie: [so sorry to your ma but also not sorry we did] Liam: [he can't handle all your emotions gal I'm soz, we're living our best fantasy life here instead] Liam: [I vote this happens until he can actually call her and thus end the convo cos we know they highkey enough to do that]

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austarus · 6 years ago

Text

Headcanon: Dating Harribard Eowells (Season 1) would include...

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. It belongs to its rightful owner(s).

Inside jokes that the others don't really get

It's always funny seeing their stumped faces as they try to figure out what you two were whispering about

Speaking of which, both of you get so close to one another just to whisper the dorkiest of things

Eliciting cute giggles and low chuckles

"Harrison, you can't say that here!"

"Why not? They can't hear us"

Harrison will always shower you with compliments

Big Belly Burger dates

If there's one thing Harrison loves more than Big Belly Burger, its watching you flush a reddish color

Especially after giving you a long, heart-felt kiss

Harrison chases after you in his wheelchair and your giggles are heard through out STAR Labs

Hitching a ride whenever he wheels by or off somewhere

Honestly, you love sitting on his lap especially he's when working or tinkering with some tech

Most of the time he'll either pull you down to take a seat

However, there are times where you feel like he needs space to work things out for himself so you respect that

"I just don't want to hinder you from doing science"

"Nonsense, if anything I love having you around"

And he's not lying, your presence just helps him feel more at ease

It took you some time to break down his walls and open up to you

"You don't have to be so secretive around me, I'm not the person to betray you"

"... I really hope that you wouldn't find any reason to..."

Your simple gestures speak volumes

Whether its fetching him some coffee from Jitters or making sure he has eaten before resuming his work

"Ok, I know you love Big Belly Burger, but that is not legit food to eat. You need to have something that's not takeout or fast food"

"But... But... Big Belly Burger"

Shaking your head at him

Making him dinner whenever you have the chance

Scolding him when he's being too hard on Team Flash, especially with Barry

Lots of hugs and kisses through out the day

Like... exchanging way too many pecks, simple kisses and deep ones

So much that the others started rolling their eyes at you both

You two will end up sneaking into a vacant room for some smooches that gradually turn into hot, make-out smooches

Which leads to lots of touching... and other things that always leaves a prominent blush on your face

Cisco makes the complaint "No PDA in the workplace"

"There just has to be some code against this amount of PDA"

Harrison will hold your hand, thumb brushing over your skin

Stumbling upon Harrison's secret room at STAR Labs and finding out who he really is

Multiple articles and pictures of "Eobard Thawne" present on the screen

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? It seems that curiousity got the best of you, kitten"

Looking at him in fear, shock, but most of all betrayal

Because he lied to you and everyone else

Facing the facts: this man, the man you love, is Eobard Thawne... The man in the yellow suit, not Harrison Wells

Noticing that there's regret in his eyes when you tear up and accuse him of never truly loving you

So he hesitantly walks up to, minding the fact that you can run from him right now and tell everyone about him being the man in the yellow suit

But you don't, your feet are planted in there spot so he cups your face and wipes your tears

"My love for you was never a lie. It's true and I don't know what I did to deserve you"

You cry even more at his words

Of course the others can't know so he takes you to his home where this new dynamic between you both needs to be worked out

Eobard makes you a permanent resident in his home to ensure the safety of his secret

You still love him, even after finding out all his secrets and his plan to go back

"The heart wants what it wants"

You don't admit to him that you still love him

Not yet

You decide to keep his secret, even if it really kills you... because Barry would take him and lock away for everything that he's done

"I just want to go back home"

Hiding in the room that he provided you, needing to have time and space to take all this in

It kills him that you've built up walls to keep him out

It kills him that he can't hold you close and comfort you

You started acknowledging him by his real name

"Baby steps"

"... Baby steps"

Little by little, you gradually open up to him

By making a healthy breakfast that his speedster stomach can hold

Patching up his small wounds

Leaving coffee at the table for when he needs it

Especially when Eobard does everything in his ability to make sure you're comfortable

Like leaving an endearing note on the coffee table

Or sliding a single flower under your door

Or making sure you make it to bed to get a good amount of sleep

But you always try to keep your guard up just in case

You started worrying that with his ambition to go home, he'll leave you behind with an even more bigger whole in your chest

You won't admit it out loud, but you really like how he towers over you when you two are in the privacy of his house

Eobard eventually gains your trust again and breaks down the walls you had built up

Soon you both live normally, with a slight bit of tension in the air

When he comes home terribly injured one day you breakdown

"I-I just don't know what I'd do if you sudden didn't come back"

Admitting that you still deeply love each other

No matter what had happened between you both

Eobard hates seeing you cry, so he'll hold you close until you calm down

Cuddling on the couch after he comes home from his runs and missions

Running your fingers through his hair and sighing in relief that he's safe here

"What if they find out?"

"Then I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe"

"What about you? I don't want you to-"

"I'm not leaving you, I can't bear to lose you"

Eobard asking if you'd want to come with him to the future

His eyes are just pleading for you to still love him

And you do

"We'll... talk about that... when the time is right. For now, just stay. For me"

"Always"

If Eobard could give up everything in the world for you to continue loving him, he would

And you know it

The scary part is that you'd make endless sacrifices for him

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kdpinterior · 2 years ago

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The title of your KDP book template is one of the first things that potential readers will see, so it's essential to make it catchy and memorable. In this blog post, we'll share some brainstorming techniques for coming up with catchy KDP book template titles and tips for creating a working title and finalizing your book's title. Brainstorming Techniques For Creating Catchy KDP Book Template Titles. The Importance Of a Title For KDP Book Template for Your book's title is vital for many reasons. It's one of the first things potential readers will see, and it can help them decide whether or not they're interested in your book. A good title can also help market your book and make it more visible to potential buyers. Brainstorming methods There are a few different brainstorming methods you can use to come up with a catchy title for your book: List brainstorming: List all the words and phrases related to your book's topic. Then, look through the list and see if any combinations jump out as possible titles. Wordplay: Try playing around with the words in your working title to see if you can create a more exciting or memorable phrase. For example, you could change "The History of the American Revolution" to "The Revolutionary History of America." Get feedback: Ask friends, family, or other potential readers what they think of your working title. They may have some helpful suggestions that you haven't considered before. Once you've brainstormed some possible titles, it's time to move on to creating a working title. Creating a working title. What is a Working Title? A working title is a temporary title used during the writing process. It can help you focus your ideas and ensure that your book has a clear structure. How To Create a Working Title With KDP Book Template There are a few different techniques you can use to create a working title: Brainstorming: This is a great way to generate many ideas quickly. Try setting a timer for 5-10 minutes and write down as many potential titles as possible. Freewriting: This technique involves writing down whatever comes to mind without stopping to edit or censor yourself. This can help you get in touch with your creative subconscious and come up with some unexpected titles.Questioning: Asking yourself questions about your book can also help you generate ideas for a working title. For example, you could ask yourself what the central theme of your book is or what the most important event in the story is.Developing your final KDP book template title. Why the Final Title Is Important For KDP Book Template Your book's title is essential for many reasons. It's often the first thing potential readers will see, and it can determine whether or not they're interested in reading your book. A catchy, well-chosen title can also help your book stand out from the competition. Tips for creating a final KDP book template titleHere are some tips to keep in mind when choosing your book's final title:Keep it short and sweet. A long, complicated title is likely to turn potential readers away. Make sure it's memorable. You want people to be able to remember your title so they can tell their friends about it.Be creative. Don't be afraid to get a little bit quirky with your title. It could help you attract attention. Our TOP 2 KDP Book Template 1. 100 Pages Wedding Planner, Editable Templates Wedding Pages, Wedding Plan Bundle, Wedding Planning Book, Canva Editable Templates, Kdp interior This wedding planner has been designed for you to print in 8.5 x 11 inches and A4 size paper. So you can take them with you on a trip or wherever you want. They have an excellent modern design that will make you feel in love. I have also included 100 pages of editable templates so you can personalize them the way you want. I have also created Canva templates in the same design so that you can use those in the same way. When planning your special day, you

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#AmazonKDPguide #Uncategorized #CreateLowContentBooks #KDPBookTemplate #NicheAnalysis #TitleWith KDP

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rogue-of-broken-time · 7 years ago

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Puppet Week: Day 5

Appreciation day! :D

(I apologize for the sheer length of this post. I tried to keep my messages short, but… yeah, it didn't work.)

First, to Seán, Robin, and Signe:

@therealjacksepticeye: I don't even know where to even BEGIN with you, sir. The whole reason you started doing Anti stuff is because you wanted to give something back to the community that they had given you, and that in itself is… I don't even have words for that. Every time you've done something with Anti– hell, even when you appear AS Anti– you make damn sure we know that it's us in the center of it all, not you. The fact that your desire to incorporate your audience into your content is a deeply cemented part of Anti as a character, thinking about it now, is actually… one of the single coolest things I've ever realized about him. And your ability to act has grown so much since your October 2016 "oh, I could've sworn I heard something!" days, to the point where I genuinely forget that you, Chase, Schneeplestein, and Anti are all played by YOU, even though you all have the same face. Anyway– I have more to say on this, but in the interest of keeping this relatively short and sweet– if I could tell you just one thing to wrap this up… thank you. And, by all means, please take care of yourself, and don't feel pressured by us to do more "Anti stuff"– it is 100% up to you where you want to take it and when, and whenever that may be, we'll all be right here, ready to go when you are. :)

@pixlpit: You, Robin, are a BEAST when it comes to editing. From the big effects that have become Anti's signature look down to so many tiny, intricate details that can literally be missed in the blink of an eye or a mere couple of frames– I can't even BEGIN to comprehend how much time, work, and thought goes into everything you manage to do when it comes to Anti stuff. The fact alone that you snuck elements from all four of the previous FNaF games into Jack's Sister Location playthrough absolutely seamlessly in October 2016 is an impressive feat in itself– and to think about just how much you've done since then is absolutely MIND-BOGGLING. I truly hope you know that all of the editing work you do for Seán's videos– whether it be Anti stuff or not– never, EVER goes unappreciated, at least by those who know the channel well enough to know how integral of a part you've become in it. I personally can't wait to see what tricks you can pull out of your sleeve for the next time Anti comes around, because I'm certain it'll blow everything out of the water again– even when we think it can't get any better, somehow it does, every time. :D

@wiishu: I feel bad because I don't know exactly the extent of everything you've done when it comes to things like the Anti content, but I can probably guess that you've helped with the makeup at some point or another, and I do know that you created those incredibly sick and badass photo edits last August. You have some scary awesome talent for that, girl! I've made some photo edits before, but nothing I make looks even remotely as real-looking and polished as yours. If we'll be seeing any more of that in the Anti events to come, my God I'm excited, because if it's anywhere near as good as you've shown your editing skills to be able to produce, it's going to be AMAZING!

(I also want to throw in a bit of appreciation here for the editors and the whole team behind Overnight Watch– especially to the one Polaris lady who stayed up with us all night! You go, Polaris lady! You're a legend!)

And now, to the community:

To all the brilliant Anti theorists across the board (that I'm lucky enough to have people count me among), to the absolutely fantastic artists (budding, experienced or anywhere in between) that bring our favorite characters to life, to the phenomenal writers who pour their hearts and souls out into words that, unfortunately, a lot of times go underappreciated, to the gif-makers and digital editors that are so consistently talented that some may take it for granted, and to everyone who perhaps doesn't fall into any of these categories (or fall into any I've missed), that maybe are a part of this community by simply watching and being along for the ride:

It is the work of all of these parts that makes every Anti event into something really special. Because the way everyone bands together around them and participates– that's exactly what Seán's original goal was. To give us something in return for something the community had given to him. It's not just Anti he gives us, it's the whole community-wide experience around Anti. And in turn, we end up flipping the formula on its head again and giving inspiration back to him.

I can tell you it's easily one of the coolest, most involving, and most heart-warming dynamics I've ever called myself a part of, and that I would have never known what I was missing if I'd never stumbled across this community in the first place.

It's… amazing, and I can't think of a single thing like it. :)

#i love you guys :3 #puppetweek #jsepuppetweek #jacksepticeye #antisepticeye #jse community #jacksepticeye community

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amoralto · 7 years ago

Audio

December, 1968: John (alongside Yoko) talks to Maurice Hindle about the travails of communication and human connection. [Note: I previously quoted a bit from this interview here in regards to John’s longing for sharing in each other’s minds telepathy and typical #projecting onto George. A more complete transcript of this excerpt will be edited into the post as soon as I feel better or at least less ill. My sincere apologies!]

HINDLE: What do you think about language? JOHN: I think it’s a bit crummy, you know? It is a drag form of communication, really. We’ll get – we’ll get telepathy. I believe that. HINDLE: You believe that? JOHN: Yeah, sure. Sure. Sure as anything I believe. It’s too… Because now we need it so much. Just for me to communicate with that guy and he’s written a letter to a paper to tell me to tell me and I’m talking to a tape to you that he might never see. Where’s that, you know? But if he was really wanting to communicate with me, even to come and see me to talk is hard. What I’m saying to you, you’re translating it all the time even though it’s English into what you think I’m saying. And I’m only saying what I’m trying to say from way back there which is coming out in the limited amount of vocabulary I have anyway, and the way I’m trying to describe all that or all this, you know? It’s nowhere. … HINDLE: Yeah, but unless you’re going to be a dropout, you’ve got to compromise haven’t you? HINDLE: Well, you have to a bit, but it’s not a great sin. You’re compromising by not fucking every woman you fancy as you walk down the street. You’re compromising by not smashing everything you don’t like when you feel like smashing it. The compromise is within yourself, you know. We’re all good and bad. You’ve got to compromise one thing or the other to just take a step forward. You’ve got to compromise whether you’re going to fall over when you walk up a set of stairs or anything, really. It’s the degree of com– of how much you compromise. HINDLE: It’s what your value is... when you compromise.  JOHN: Yeah, yeah. You know.  HINDLE: What one person values as compromise, another doesn’t. JOHN: Yeah and the point is that – a lot of us probably all agree – we all really know the compromise we’re talking about, it’s that one where you sell out. And everybody thinks everybody else has sold out. But there’s even guys just in business that don’t think they’ve compromised and they haven’t really, and they’re secretly trying to do what everybody else is trying to do but they don’t know it half the time or they don’t realise. ’Cause even just, I was talking to that guy Lord Beeching, I said, “We want help with this Apple, but we don’t want any of them, you know, this that and the other... We’re idealists.” And I was giving it to him, you know, “That’s what we’re trying to do and we want a happy office,” and all that. And he rightly sort of said, “Listen man, there’s a few idealists; they’re aren’t all – they’re not complete set of fascists, there’s one or two human beings in the city.” Which I hadn’t allowed for, with my great open minded awareness and all that. I just hadn’t allowed for any human beings in the banks or anywhere. But there are some human beings there, there’s probably some in the government, you know? I still sort of find it hard to believe, but somewhere in that pile of slush there might be some human beings. But it’s hard... it’s that bit, you know. There are – there’s people everywhere of the same mind and it's just… even amongst ourselves we can’t communicate. Which is the hard bit, you know. HINDLE: Yeah.  JOHN: Amongst the people that sort of really agree. HINDLE: Just ’cause of words? JOHN: Just ’cause of words, and upbringing, and attitude, and how you express your... Well, it’s just some – you’ve got to find a mutual sort of language to express yourself, you know? And my language is that— HINDLE: Unless you fall in love it’s impossible to communicate like that. JOHN: I mean, I wasn’t in love last year, but I was communicating quite well with people. Not as well, or maybe not as powerfully. ’Cause now there’s two of us, doing that, brrmmm, whatever it is. Sending out a vibration or whatever. But before it was me and... or me and George, alright, or whatever it was; we weren’t in love, but. You know. There’s enough in you to shove it out. It is just that bit. If you – if somebody comes in a room and he’s uptight and that, he can make the whole room uptight.

#1968 #interviewed: john #john lennon #projecting onto george #john and yoko #john and paul #oh john #real life permanent dream

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dontreadthistrashgarbage · 5 years ago

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G O T 7 PT.7

Guerin was nervous. She had asked JB what to wear and he had told her that her normal style would be fine. He wanted the vibe to be casual. Still, Guerin had managed to overthink, she had changed her outfit multiple times before forcing herself to settle. She approached the designated meeting spot, the same spot by the Han river where they had first flown together, carrying Mihi. She saw both JB and BamBam waiting already. BamBam looked stylish as usual in his expensive brand name clothes. JB looked like he was trying to combine his usual aesthetic with a boyfriend look, a loose fitting dark grey turtleneck sweater that was tucked into fitted black jeans and his hair teased into revealing his forehead. Guerin felt silly in comparison, she opted for an oversized black, pink and orange color blocked T-shirt over distressed Jean shorts with black tights and ending in her same favorite neon shoes. She had started to slow her approach, wondering if there was time for her to go home and change but was foiled by an excited squawk from Mihi. JB and BamBam looked up, the former smiling and waving at her before they both resumed their conversation and moved to meet her.

"You're here early." Guerin said trying to sound natural.

"He was actually late. We were supposed to meet a while ago to figure out how to shoot everything but he just got here ten minutes ago." BamBam said, "He's always late."

JB forces a smile and put his arm around BamBam, resting his hand on the back of his dongsaengs neck. "I told you I'd buy you something delicious to make it up to you." She said through his fake toothy smile that did not reach his eyes.

BamBam wasn't phased and he laughed at his own cheekiness, "Of course hyung. So that's two meals, one for helping you film and edit and another for being late."

"Ya, we're also paying you." JB protested.

"Yeah yeah. So let's get this show on the road. We'll do the flying first and then the human only shots." BamBam changed the subject to hash out final details of how the shooting would work with Guerin and any issues that might affect Mihi. The three meandered to BamBam's chosen spot and Guerin took the opportunity to mutter to JB

"Should I go change real quick? I'm not sure we match convincingly..."

JB stuck out his bottom lip thoughtfully as he looked her over, making her feel more self conscious before he shook his head and looked away, "You look fine."

"Fine?" She asked shocked and not reassured at all. He looked at her from the corner of his eye, a mischievous smirk betraying his perceived dismissal. She frowned, "JB I'm serious, I'm so uncomfortable right now."

He looked shocked and apologetic, "I'm sorry, I thought you just wanted a compliment."

She pouted slightly, "Even then. You could just give me one."

"You look like you. That's perfect. It's exactly what I hoped for." He reached up and patted the top of her head with a puppy smile. Somehow the JB style comment helped her insecurity but ramped up her heart rate. She covered up her reaction by shrugging him off with a tsk.

"You look fine too I guess." She said with exaggerated dismissal, picking up her pace to leave him behind.

The flight portion of the filming went normally for the first and second round. Mihi was even ready for a third flight as they included JB and Guerin playing with Mihi between flights. Two loops into her third flight, JB was watching Guerin when he saw her relaxed and joyful expression change to one of concern and she let out a curse. JB quickly looked up and saw a drone heading toward the bird who was knocked off her usual loops by trying to avoid it, a screech from the bird sounding more like fear than her familiar happy calls.

Guerin looked around for the drone pilot, spotting him in the distance she tried yelling at him to stop. He didn't seem to hear, fixated on his toy. "BamBam, tell him to stop!" Guerin said urgently, pointing at the pilot, grabbed the backpack carrier, then put the whistle to her lips, blowing as she took off the same direction Mihi was headed. Unfortunately Mihi couldnt get an angle.with the wind to get a clean landing and instead kept getting chased away from the open river skies back into the city before disappearing into the taller buildings.

The drone had stopped and was returning its flight. Whether it was just getting too far out of range or BamBam had reached the man Guerin didn't know, but now she had a new concern. She paused, blowing her whistle hoping it would reach through the city sounds and guide her bird back to her.

"How can I help?" JB asked. She hadn't realized he had followed after her.

She glanced at him her face serious, the only hint at anything close to the very bad situation was a tension around her mouth. "I have to go looking for her. Can you make a post on a lost pets page on sns? If someone has seen her they might look there."

I'll have BamBam do that. He needs to stay behind with the equipment anyway, I can help you look. Guerin nodded, "I lost sight of her that way. If you find her just keep her safe, don't try and grab her and call me right away." She immediately turned and ran in the direction she indicated, blowing her whistle intermittentently. JB ran back to give BamBam the update. The drone pilot was talking to him, holding his offending toy looking very distraught.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know it would scare her I thought she was just an interesting bird, I'm sorry." He was saying before JB interjected. He had to swallow his anger at the man, at the same time understanding the perspective. Without the knowledge he had, he might have thought the same way. He did allow himself the rudeness of interrupting without an apology, gave BamBam the information, then took off again not sparing the pilot another glance.

Twenty minutes and several check ins with each other later JB was still feeling sorry and worried. He somehow believed that this wouldn't have happened if he hadn't asked for Guerin to film this stupid music video. It seemed like everything attached to this song was cursed. Lost in his thoughts and running his hand through his now disheveled hair for the hundredth time he almost missed it. A squawk.

"Mihi?" He called suddenly, startling a couple people near him. He apologized with a bow but didn't miss the unmistakable call back, coming from in front of him and to the left. He picked up his pace, calling her name again as he rounded a corner into an alleyway. He was looking up at the roof when another squawk drew his attention down to the ground.

A bedraggled and slightly damp green bird looked miserably up at him from next to a puddle she must have fallen in. He moved slowly toward her as he pulled out his phone and urgently called Guerin. Mihi took a step back as he approached and he froze while the phone rang.

"I found her. She's a bit wet, I cant tell if she is hurt but she is awake and moving." He said.

"Where are you?" She asked immediately. He told her. She sounded strained, not letting herself relax until the bird was back with her, "I'm about ten minutes away, I'm coming now. Just watch her and don't let people near her." She hung up quickly, presumably to start running. The traffic would make taking a can slower than ducking between buildings and sprinting through streets.

JB watched Mihi and squatted down on his heels to watch the bird, turned sideways to see if anyone started trying to come down the alleyway. Mihi watched him, shifting her weight from one foot to another, reaching down to try and chew pebbles or bits of debris around her.

"You gave us a scare." He said to her, talking just as much to keep himself calm as her. "Though you were probably really scared too." He hissed quietly "That idiot has no idea what he even did." Mihi was watching him, chewing an unknown object.

"We found you though. Guerin is coming, you'll be safe soon." He softened his tone, "I bet you wish she had found you. But this is almost as good right?" He kept talking, trying to sound as comforting as possible. Mihi took a step toward him hesitantly. He paused, then continued with his soft reassurances. Slowly and deliberately she came closer and closer to him. He didn't know what to do. Guerin had told him not to approach, but was he supposed to move away too? He opted to not move in case just him moving scared her off again. She walked right up to his leg, reaching out with her beak to chew at the hem of his pants.

"That's not nice." He said, willing himself not to move and hoping she wouldn't bite him.

Mihi straightened up, her feathers fluffing lightly, then raised a leg speaking in her odd mechanical voice in English, "Step UP."

"I don't think I can?" He said back, recognizing her motion more than the words.

She opened and closed her foot at him, then switched to the other leg saying again, "Step UP."

He hesitated again, glancing at his watch. Almost ten minutes had passed. He was at a loss. This didn't fall under the parameters of what Guerin had told him to do and if she was booking it here he couldn't call her for more advice. He was woefully unequipped to make the decision he was faced with, but it was one that still needed to be made.

Slowly he moved his hand, watching the bird for any odd behavior as he lowered it down to her foot. At first she reached for him with her beak. He froze and she straightened up again, shifting back to her original foot, opening and closing it again with her invitation style. He lowered his hand to her foot carefully. She rested her foot on him and pulled herself up. He slowly lifted his hand to rest on his knees, remembering how Guerin described the tactic to prevent the bird from climbing up his arm to his shoulder.

He was familiar enough to think that the bird looked stressed but slightly more comfortable as she looked around, flexing her beak every now and then. A figure appeared at the end of the alleyway, JB looked up to warn away anyone that might try to approach but stopped when he recognized a disheveled Guerin. She was breathing hard but her eyes lit up when she saw her bird.

"Hi baby." She crooned, sounding comforting. Mihi spotted Guerin and immediately started fluffing and flapping, jumping off JB's hand to the ground and walking toward Guerin. Guerin slowly stepped forward and picked up her bird, who immediately began nestling into her moms torso for affection which Guerin was more than happy to give.

"She came to me, I didnt know what to do so I let her climb on me. I'm sorry." JB said, slowly standing from his squat.

"It's fine she's here, I just want to get her in the carrier." Guerin didn't look away from her bird, giving her head small stratches. "You had a crazy adventure huh? I bet JB was a sight for sore eyes, yeah baby?" She kissed her bird, still speaking in her calm tone. After a minute she stepped Mihi into the carrier with little resistance and gave her a big nut and a grape. JB saw her visibly relax.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Not really. But I will be." She said, the tension leaving her body left her shaking. JB walked over to her.

"Do you... want a hug?" He asked, holding his arms open awkwardly.

She looked up at him and he was surprised to see tears in her eyes. She bit her lip to keep her lip from trembling before she nodded and moved into his arms, wrapping her arms around his torso. He closed him arms around her, one hand resting on her head as her tears fell, the other rubbing her back. A squawk from Mihi brought their attention back. Guerin drew back reluctantly from the much needed comfort, wiping her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I think I snorted on your sweater." She let out and embarrassed laugh. He plucked at it then shrugged, unbothered. "God I must look a mess." She kept wiping at her eyes but her mascara had bled down and her lipstick was faded. JB wiped at a smear on her cheek.

"It's fine. We still match then." He said with a small smile. Guerin actually chuckled, still on edge.

"Let's let BamBam know. And I want to get Guerin home asap." Guerin said.

"I'll come with you." Offered, "Let's get a cab, and I'll call BamBam from there."

Following the plan Guerin sat with the carrier in her lap, hugging it as JB talked about rescheduling the rest of filming later. BamBam passed along the pilots information, he had offered to pay any vet bills and very much wanted to apologize directly. He hung up and the two sat in silence for the rest of the ride, both getting out at Guerin's apartment. She didn't question him as he followed her up to her unit and into her apartment.

A fluffy samoyed greeted them at the door, inspecting JB carefully, wagging her tail as Guerin acknowledged the dog in passing. JB waited in the living room with Eneoji for the few minutes Guerin took putting the bird away, examining her for injuries and watching for odd behavior. She came out to find JB seated on the ground with her dog seated, back to him, in his lap. As soon as Eneoji saw Guerin she stood and her fluffy behind wagged in the handsome musicians face making him exclaim and Guerin couldn't help but giggle despite being visibly exhausted. She saved JB by calling her dog to her and greeting her properly before straightening up.

"I'm going to shower and change into pajamas, then I'm going to order takeout and destress. You're welcome to stay but I imagine I'll be poor company." Guerin said to JB.

"Do you mind if I shower too?" He asked carefully, hoping it wouldn't be misinterpreted.

"Sure. I think I have something comfy you can wear too." She said thoughtfully as she tried to remember then shrugged, "I'll find it later."

JB entertained himself with his phone, catching up on messages and following up with BamBam about what else they needed to complete the video. Guerin returned faster than expected, fresh faced and neutral in a tank top and green lantern pajama bottoms. She held out some folded clothes for him, "There's towels in the bathroom, you can use any of the toiletries you need."

He accepted the change of clothes and headed in for his turn. After drying off he unfolded the pants, looking at them curiously, then looking at the shirt with narrowed eyes. Putting on the nondescript sweatpants and white shirt that fit a bit tightly across his broad shoulders and chest he came out of the bathroom.

"Ya, Guerin. These are men's clothes." He said.

She looked up from her phone at him with raised eyebrows, sitting on the couch sideways as she rested her back against the arm, knees up in front of her, "Yeah. Did you think I was going to give you mine?" She responded, nonplussed.

"Why do you have mens clothes? Mens pajamas?" He clarified, his question but sounded displeased.

"... I mean..." she hesitated, "Do you really not know the answer to that? I'm a grown woman JB."

He floundered. She didn't seem embarrassed at all, and did she have a reason to be embarrassed? He certainly didn't think of her as someone inexperienced, but he wasn't familiar with the personality type to make it obvious by not hiding another man's clothes, or at least making up a story about it being a friend or family member.

"JB, I'm emotionally drained today. I'm not going to argue with you about my life before you came into it." She said, sounding a little annoyed as she turned back to her phone.

He hesitated, then swallowed his jealousy. Now was not the time. Instead JB padded over to join her on the couch.

"You do look better in that shirt though." She said, without looking up and trying to withhold a smile.

"Of course I do." He responded matter of factly.

"Oof, you're lucky you're cute enough to get away with that ego." Guerin sputtered through a laugh.

"I'm not cute, I'm sexy." He corrected her matter of factly, which made her laugh harder.

"They're not... oh... what is it in Korean." She giggled, saying in English, "mutually exclusive?" She went back to korean, "You can be both."

"You're the cute one. I'm the sexy one." He shot back, taking the opportunity to compliment her and double down on his mantra.

"So you're saying I'm not sexy?" She stuck up her foot, posing comically like an amateur model.

"Maybe sometimes." He let out a small chuckle.

"Well if I can be both so can you. Let's order food, I'm starving." She said, not allowing him to argue back anymore. He nodded along with her suggestion, watching her relax comfortably in her pajamas. He had already fallen for professional Guerin and her polo shirt, and done up Guerin with her bold lipsticks and loud style, now he found himself falling for this cute casual pajama Guerin. He absentmindedly chewed his bottom lip, reminding himself that she still hadn't answered his confession, but he hoped it would be soon. Tonight wasn't the time to bring it up, so he resolved to just have a relaxing evening instead.

It had nearly been two weeks since Jinyoung and Charlie had started dating. They had gone out quite a few times, taking advantage of their schedules lining up so well. Jinyoung planned most of the dates which had ranged from a simple picnic to the current adventure at a meerkat cafe. They were currently sitting in with the meerkats, blankets across their legs. As soon as they had settled down four of the small animals had crawled into Jinyoungs lap and snuggled in, while a fifth perched on his leg, blinking slowly.

A sixth and seventh were distracting Charlie, climbing up to her and investigating. One settled into her lap while the other tried to dig at her shoe while she giggled and took pictures. Finally looking up Charlie saw Jinyoung coddling the critters in his lap, speaking cutely and making kissy faces. She pressed her lips together to quiet a laugh and surreptitiously recorded him. It took him about a minute to glance up, doing a double take when he saw her phone up.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his eyes widening.

"Nothing." She giggled through her unconvincing lie.

"Let me see that." He said, holding out his hand for her phone.

"No, I'm using it." She giggled again, lowering the camera to the meerkats still with her.

"Did you take pictures or record?" He asked, changing tactics as he tried to sound nonchalant.

"Don't get upset and scare the meerkats." She scolded him, panning up to see his face again. He was pouting but quickly changed his expression to something neutral.

"I'm not upset." He said blankly.

"Okay." She giggled again, finally ending the video and carefully tucking her phone back into her pocket.

Jinyoung managed to let it go long enough for the two of them to enjoy the rest of the visit at the cafe. They got selfies with a young coati crawling across their shoulders and Charlie got a kiss from an arctic fox. After the cafe Jinyoung suggested they take a cab back to his apartment. Charlie agreed, hoping this time the relationship might progress. It had been two weeks and they still hadn't kissed, or really anything beyond hand holding or a brief hug. A small part of her had begun to believe that Jinyoung didn't have romantic feelings toward her after all but she tried to beat those thoughts down.

Once they had arrived at Jinyoungs apartment and he went to make refreshments for the two of them she caught up on messages. A particular news story caught her attention that made her exclaim outloud in anger.

"Jagiya? What is it?" Jinyoung asked, coming from the kitchen with two opened beers and some freshly prepared ramen for them to snack on.

"There's a news article about Jackson!" She said, angrily, already messaging Guerin furiously.

"What is it?" He asked curiously, setting the tray he carried on the coffee table in front of the couch and sitting next to his girlfriend.

"Look." She said, angrily showing Jinyoung the pictures she was looking at, "He's here hugging some random girl in China ONE DAY before he is supposed to come home after confessing to Guerin."

Jinyoung knew of the dual confessions Guerin had received after promises of confidentiality from Charlie, though both his friends had confided in him already so it made it significantly easier to share. Jinyoung frowned at the pictures, taking her phone to read the article.

"It seems mostly like speculation." He said, unconvinced and handing her phone back with a noncommittal shrug, "besides, Jackson is a friendly man. He has a lot of friends. It's just a hug."

"Just a hug caught on camera." Charlie grumbled, taking her phone back with a petulant expression.

Jinyoung put his arm around Charlie with his most winning expression, "There's going to be times I have to hug someone for a camera, would that bother you?"

"No... not if it's for work." She couldnt help but weaken under his grip.

"Jackson is really outgoing. He has a lot of friends and sometimes the media struggles to keep up with him. I promise, knowing Jackson, that hug was platonic." Jinyoung said earnestly to his softening girlfriend.

"... yeah. That makes sense... I can give him the benefit of the doubt. But I worry about how Guerin is going to take it." She sighed, texting her friend again.

"Guerin will be fine. If she has spent time with Jackson she'll understand." Jinyoung assured Charlie.

"How would you feel?" Charlie asked suddenly after a pause, "If I was hugging some random man?"

Jinyoung tsked, "You won't need to. I'll hug you so much anyone else hugging you will be a nuisance." He squeezed her to make a point.

She forced a chuckle, insecurities with their relationship surfacing suddenly at his words. She believed him about Jackson, despite some reservations on behalf of her friend, so instead she flipped to some of the pictures she had taken at the meerkat cafe. Jinyoung brought out his phone and they were sharing photos until she came across a selfie and groaned.

"Wait, that was cute!" Jinyoung said quickly, reaching across to use his finger to swipe back.

"No, it's an awkward angle." She argued, moving her screen away to avoid the photo. Jinyoung huffed and returned to his own photos.

"Look, this is adorable." He said challengingly, showing a picture of her getting a kiss from the fox at the cafe, her face scrunched up in delight.

"Oh god that's an awful picture, please delete it!" She groaned and covered her face.

"What?" Jinyoung asked in disbelief.

"The angle is awful, I look so fat and my face... ugh. I didn't know you were taking a picture." Charlie protested, shaking her head still in her hands.

Jinyoung looked at the picture and back at his embarrassed girlfriend before setting his phone down, gently taking her hands and removing them from her face, "What are you talking about?"

"I just... I'm not cute. And pictures like that don't help. You're already so much more attractive than I am. I'm grateful if there's any man who wants to be in my proximity, let alone one as handsome as you. I have to work extra hard to be worthy." Charlie said despondently, avoiding eye contact as Jinyoung held her hands away from her face.

He dropped Charlie's hands, cupping her face gently and moving her gaze to match his own, "Look at me," he said softly, "You are beautiful, amazing and unique. I was drawn to you long before I said anything and I had to beat competitors to get to you. But none of that matters. None of that, none of my desires for you define you as a person of worth. You are reliable, hard working, dedicated, compassionate and thorough. You are so admirable and I love being around you. I hope as we spend more time together I can learn and grow from your traits but in the meantime I just... really love being in your company. And I want to keep doing that." He ended his speech finally.

Charlie, bit her lip as he spoke but waiting a beat after he finished talking she couldn't hold back anymore and moved in quickly, pressing her lips against his for their first kiss as her arms slung around his shoulders. His own grasp dropped to her waist pulling her in more tightly as he deepened the kiss she had initiated. Once they naturally separated, breathing slightly more accelerated than usual Jinyoung spoke through a smirk.

"I wondered how long that would take you. It was longer than I thought."

"...what?" Charlie asked, still a bit addled from the passionate session.

"I was waiting for you to kiss me first. I thought it would happen much sooner. I was starting to weaken. I thought you didn't like me!" He laughed, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Are you kidding me?!" She exclaimed in response. "I thought you had lost interest in ME! I thought you regretted asking me out!" She couldn't help her raised voice in indignation.

"Lost interest??" Jinyoung was shocked and he responded by pulling her close for other deep kiss before pulling away and pressing his face to the side of her face to whisper in her ear, "No way." He kissed down her neck to the crook of her shoulder, "I'm so sorry you felt that way. I've been holding back for fun, hoping you would push ahead when you were ready." He kissed gently at her throat as he spoke.

"Stop." She gasped at his ministrations. He pulled back but she grasped at him closer, "stop holding back." She said, running her fingers through his hair as he smirked into her throat.

"Would you like to move somewhere more comfortable?" He asked, kissing sweetly back up to her ear.

She responded by standing up then immediately turning toward his bedroom, shucking her usual comfortable hoodie off along the way to lay on the ground with the rest of her disproven doubts. "You better have some way to make it up to me." She snarled, disappearing through his doorway to the bedroom. Jinyoung could barely hide his joyous expression as he bit his lip excitedly, following his girlfriend into his bedroom.

Guerin had felt her phone buzzing in her pocket during her meeting with PWER CEO Jisoo. They had been discussing the next comeback and the possibility of a world tour and Eneoji's role in each. Not willing to interrupt the meeting she shut her phone off, hoping it wasnt an actual emergency. Turning it back on as she left the meeting she was astounded by the amount of kakao messages she had, and a few missed calls from Jackson. She chose to check the kakao messages first, hoping it would clear up the urgency.

Guerin was confused. An article about Jackson and some girl? Even more curious she responded quickly saying she was fine but had no idea what Charlie was talking about before she switched to her chat with Jackson.

Guerin was alarmed with the urgency of his messages. What in the world could be this bad? She sent Jackson a quick message explaining she had been in a meeting and had no idea what was going on but she was okay. She flipped to the news search on her phone and was greeted readily with an article at the top of the feed with a headline announcing Jackson Wang was in a relationship with an unidentified woman. Guerin clicked on the article and read a couple short paragraphs about Jackson and his recent activities all leading up to him being caught with a new girlfriend. The pictures attached were clearly shot without any person in the area aware of the cameras. Both Jackson and the woman were smiling and laughing, then a few shots of the two hugging each other. She couldn't help but chuckle. This was what had gotten everyone so worked up?

While she was reading Jackson had sent her a few more messages. She clicked over to his chat and reassured him that she wasn't bothered. He asked to call her later and she agreed. She set her phone down as her bus approached, stepping into it and settling into a seat, looking out the window. She hadn't been lying about not being bothered by the hug, but dealing with the aftermath had left her a bit stressed. It was just a hug, was it really something to get upset over?

Her phone buzzed in her hand and she grimaced for a moment before making herself check. It was a message from JB and she visibly relaxed seeing a simple message asking to meet up for drinks. A drink sounded like just what she needed so she agreed. She dropped her phone and let her fall to her shoulder as she stared out the window for the rest of the ride trying to figure out why she felt so strange.

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empressxmachina · 4 years ago

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Inquiries on WIPs, lore, and what to do with both

Hi!

I hope y'all are well! I didn't expect to make a journal today, but here I am! I do hope I get some answers because I do have some thoughts and questions.

word wall under the cut

First off, I've done a lot of proofreading and re-outlining lately.

How I keep coming up with ideas, I don't know. Why I can never sit down and write prose except for when I'm meant to be doing something else is even more unknown. But at least I'm thinking, I guess. I like what I'm pondering. I have done some intensive writing, though.

I made a manip that's been done and in the queue for months, and I liked it so much that I've made a whole novella (novel?) idea for it. If I do it right, then I hope to get about twelve (12) parts from it - they're all now planned - of which I've completed seven. I'm closer to eight (8) than not, so that's good, right?

Since the pic is done and so is its relative part in the story, should I just release it/them, or should I wait until it's all done?

I've even made a Wattpad/book cover for it; that's how much I like what I'm doing.

Regarding Welcome Home, Sasha, specifically, it's been plotted for months, too. But I'm having some issues with writing an expository soliloquy, aka the explanation of what the fuck happened to Earth.

The actual information is cut-and-dry, but I don't know how to best frame it. I find Ki to be an analytical person - sensible for a scientist, I suppose - but with a flourish. Putting his brotherly, almost fatherly love of Sasha on top complicates things further since he wouldn't want to break his heart... and the answer will definitely bruise at the very least.

Luckily though, how he'll react and everything after that is as straightforward as an apocalypse can be. Will I ever write it, though?

I technically have three (3) or four (4) continuations to long fics, but I don't know why I'm not releasing them. I want to, yet I don't? Is this my mediocre perfectionism in action? Is this normal?

Syntrophy has changed in my head, like, four times, regarding the relationship between the two MCs. Their separate stories have maintained but not how they connect to each other.

I wish I was kidding. There's so much I've deleted.

I've been adding excerpts to my manips and making visuals to go with stories. Read more about that in the next section.

Secondly, I've been conceptualizing visuals like mad!

Ideas just keep coming, and they don't stop coming.

The queue is probably at peak fullness, which is cool. I was hoping I wouldn't have to widen time between posting stuff because as much as popularity doesn't affect whether I make something, I wouldn't want y'all to just forget about me. You know?

I know some people don't even have a schedule or set up expectations, so I might just say "Fuck it," and leave submission dates to RNG. It hasn't been a problem, but I don't want pressure from time restraints to become a problem. We'll see.

Like the unnamed, new fic way above, some of my ready works are images from tales not-yet-released. I've done that before numerous times, but one in particular literally happens in what would be the literal next part to post, and I'm not done with writing it, yet, at least to where I'd like it to be.

Should I post the pic anyway, despite context being right behind a corner? I kind of want to, but I've already been putting it off so much...

I just really need to get motivated and focus using Pomodoro or something. Maybe I'd knock everything out if I did.

My most recent completion from literally this morning might just be my favorite in all my years of manip-making.

Meanwhile, the one finished right before it might be the worst thing I've ever made, and its excerpt just makes it worse. I enjoyed it thoroughly, though, which makes me question myself as I'm seeing patterns...

I want to draw/paint again. I've done stuff for IRL projects but not size content.

I need inspiration to just sit down and pen for hours or days.

Would y'all mind me doing sketches again? That'd be quicker.

Lastly, the real reason why I chose to make a journal:

I'm really considering putting expanded, not-yet-seen lore for my stories on my blog site (on WordPress), and I feel like I've pondered this before.

As repeatedly mentioned, I have too many ideas but not even drive to collect them all into something worthwhile. But I'd like to get them out there somehow so others can indulge in my babies as much as I do. Some creators have blogs just for certain stories and their characters, settings, etc. that I adore, and I want to feel that in a way, too. However, most people don't have ten (10) or more stories at once that they equally love. Fuck, I need to edit my blog with more pages for more things I've conjured but isn't there, yet.

I feel that by doing so on my site,

People who do want to know how a plot of a tale will go, because I write as quickly as molasses runs yet have an outline for everything, can know.

It'll be organized as I see fit but my own control (unless WordPress does something drastic).

In addition, the data wouldn't be directly attached to the works on other sites like here, either, in case ideas change or people are averse to spoilers and want to stay away.

Reading all this over, couldn't I put the same data/lore in DA journals, Tumblr posts, etc., too, adding tags or titles to mark what's what? Couldn't I also put the works themselves that are here or even the damn music list on my site, too? Should I?

Am I overthinking this? I think I'm overthinking this.

That's it, I think.

Does any of this make sense? Please let me know your thoughts on anything but mostly the blog stuff if you can.

(I've also put this on DA if you'd prefer to respond there.)

Stay safe, and Happy Equinox! I'm glad I'll see flowers blooming again soon.

#rambles #lore #blog #updates #ideas #journal

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otcbreakingnews · 8 years ago

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Credit, Debt, and You

This podcast was recorded on Jan. 30, 2016. Gaby Lapera: Hello everyone! Welcome to Industry Focus, the podcast that dives into a different sector of the stock market every day. You're listening to the financials edition, recorded today on Monday, January 30th, 2017. My name is Gaby Lapera, and joining me on Skype is Dan Caplinger, personal finance guru extraordinaire at The Motley Fool. Hey Dan, how's it going?Dan Caplinger: I'm good, Gaby, how are you doing today?Lapera: I am good. I'm trying to keep upbeat because today's topic is very depressing. (laughs) Today, we're going to talk about debt and credit. Just so you know, debt plagues Americans. We were talking about this earlier, Dan, so I know you know, but our listeners might not, so I'm going to throw out a few statistics here. About 15% of Americans think they're going to die in debt. About 60% of Americans could not cover an unexpected expense of $500. 34% have $0 in savings, and another 35% have $1,000 or less but more than $0. The average amount of student loan debt is somewhere between $31,000 and $37,000 depending on your source. The average amount of mortgage debt is about $170,000, which I guess isn't that much of you think about houses. But today, we're going to talk about credit card debt. The average American household has about $5,700 in credit card debt. However, if you are a household that carries a balance -- which means that you don't pay off everything you owe on the credit card every month -- the average amount of debt that you have is about $16,000. That's a lot of money! Caplinger: It's a lot.Lapera: Yeah, those are a lot of facts and figures I just threw out. It's crazy, that's a lot of money.Caplinger: $16,000, yeah. When you think about what the median income for a typical household is -- something like $50,000 -- you're talking about, even if you took every penny that you brought in and did nothing: didn't eat, didn't pay for your house, didn't drive anywhere, you would still be spending months just getting that debt paid off.Lapera: Yeah. And what's even crazier is that the average interest rate on a credit card is 15.2%. So, a lot of that payment would be going to interest, it wouldn't even be paying down the principal.Caplinger: Absolutely right.Lapera: So, let's talk a little about how we get there. How do you get to $16,000 in debt? Apparently about 38% of All American households have some sort of credit card debt, maybe not $16,000 but some sort of debt. I think, let's start with one that's common way, it's a little controversial, which is living paycheck to paycheck, so, spending all of your money every paycheck, as opposed to putting some away for unexpected expenses. The reason I say this is controversial is because I know that not everyone can afford to live their life differently, other than paycheck to paycheck. Some people just don't make enough money to live any other way. But there are plenty of people in America who do make more than enough money for their needs, and they're still spending frivolously.Caplinger: Yeah. And that's a lot of how you end up in that paycheck to paycheck situation. And credit cards actually make it easier, in some ways. When you're really stretching to make that paycheck last as long as you can, if you still have that credit card and those last couple of days are coming up and you spent big early on, right after you got your check, then it's tempting to cover the difference with that credit card. That's how a lot of people start the ball rolling in terms of getting those big credit card balances you're talking about.Lapera: Yeah. One of the things you could do to prevent this is make a budget and stick to it. Make a reasonable budget, I should say, and stick to that. (laughs) I don't think anyone needs to spend $500 a month on pizza unless you have a family of 24 and you're making $1 million a month. (laughs) But, you know what I mean? Some people make budgets, like, I have seen line items on some of my friends' budgets where it's like, "What? How do you think you're going to spend so much money every month on going to the movies? And you also have three movie streaming services, and you pay for cable. Do you really need all of those methods to consume media? Probably not."Caplinger: Yeah, interestingly, a lot of credit cards will actually help you come up with a budget that will give you a spending history and break it down by category, so you can actually see how much you're spending at restaurants, how much you're spending on movies, utilities, any category that you're using that card for, you can actually use it to your advantage to figure out, "Do I really need to be spending this much on this? Maybe not," and that could free up money to pay down that balance and get rid of some of that interest and get yourself out of debt that much faster.Lapera: Yeah, it's really cool, I just got my year-end credit card reports from my banks, and I just spent 20 minutes going over them, looking at all the miscellaneous things that I had spent money on. I spent a lot of money on Lyft rides this year. (laughs) Or, I guess, last year now. That's the peril of living in a city with questionable public transportation. So, another thing: maybe you're already living paycheck to paycheck and you have money on your credit card, and some people just don't pay their credit cards off at all, which is a really bad move. Not paying your credit card is never going to get you out of debt.Caplinger: Yeah, it's a triple hit. Not only do you not get out of debt, but you pay the interest on what you didn't pay, you'll pay a late fee or non-payment fee to the credit card, and, as we'll talk about later on, you rip your credit score to shreds, too. So, it's a whole bunch of bad things that come up. It always makes sense, at the very least, to get that minimum payment in to avoid all those excess charges.Lapera: Yeah, absolutely. You would be surprised by how common this is. Every year, people write stories about credit card debt, and there's always at least one person who is interviewed in these stories who is like, "I didn't realize I needed to pay the money back. I thought it was just money they were giving me." Which is mind-blowing. I don't know how they got to that point, but I have a feeling it has something to do with some bankers who were not very honest with the terms of the agreement. But, it happens, for sure. But, you mentioned something else, which is only making the minimum payment. It's better than doing nothing, but it's not great, either.Caplinger: No. Even when you just make the minimum payment -- the way those minimum payments are set up, it doesn't really pay that much more than what your interest charge is. If you're making a $25 minimum payment, you might have $20 of that going just to pay that 15.9% you were talking about earlier. That only lets you cut that balance by $5 a month. The way the math works out, it can take years, like 10 years or more, to get to the point where your minimum balance has actually paid off that amount. And that's assuming you don't go out and run up more charges in the interim.Lapera: Yeah, absolutely. Just to back up a little bit, credit card companies or your bank or whoever it is that owns you debt tells you how much you have to pay at a minimum every month in order not to get a late fee. If you pay less than that, they'll smack you with some sort of fee. And that's what your minimum payment is. So, you're making your minimum payments, and here's another mistake that people make, they add on a lot of unnecessary debt. Dan, you were telling me before the show started that households before the holidays, their credit card was around $16,000, which is that national figure we were talking about. After holidays, the credit card debt increased by $1,073. That's a lot of money.Caplinger: On average. When you have these holiday expenses that come up, whether it's traveling to family or buying presents or doing shopping, whatever it is, it's tempting. You have those expenses and you have to cover them. A lot of people don't have the income to cover that at that point. So it's tempting to just add that to the total and figure, "OK, after the holidays are done, I'll resolve to get that paid down." But, yeah, a lot of people get a holiday bump in terms of how much debt they have on their credit card.Lapera: Yeah. And as terrible as it is to not really celebrate whatever holiday you have going on, it's not really 100% a necessary expense for you to buy presents for people or to travel that year. It's a not-safe-for-work word, it's terrible, it's no fun, but it's a place where you can cut expenses.Caplinger: It is. The other thing is that you can also pre-plan for it. You know what your holiday plans are going to be. If you set aside a certain amount of money from your check every two weeks, or every month, starting in January or February, and you accumulate that over the course of the year, then you'll have a nest egg at the end of the year and you don't have to dip into your credit card, you don't have to add to your credit card debt in order to do it. With an anticipated expense like holiday stuff, that's more than a reasonable thing to do, because you can get a sense of it. It's not like there's going to be an emergency where you didn't know the holidays were going to be coming up. You know exactly what your expectations are, and you can plan for them.Lapera: That's a really good point. Also, if you're like me, I really hate buying presents for people, so whenever I see a present that will work for someone for the holidays, I buy it even if it's the middle of June and I stash away. That way, I don't have to worry about it in December. That will also help you pre-plan expenses, hopefully. Plus, it might make your life easier come December. Holiday tips with the Industry Focus gang! So, another way that people can get in trouble with their debt is not understanding the terms of their debt. This is something I've seen that's common among people my age, weirdly enough -- they don't understand what the interest payment is on their credit cards.Caplinger: Yeah. It's sometimes labeled the finance charge, sometimes it's labeled something else. It's not always really clear. Plus, the rates tend to change a lot. Different credit card companies are better or worse in showing you, "This was your average balance, this is the current interest rate, do the math, this is how much interest your account accumulated during this particular month, this is your minimum payment, so this, after you make your minimum payment, if that's what you do, here's what the balance is going to be left." Some card companies have actually gotten better about doing this in response to calls from consumer advocates to do something to help solve this problem. But not all of the banks are on board with it yet. So sometimes you have to do your own homework to know what those terms are. In addition, you have a whole span of fees, whether it's late fees, over account limit fees, and a whole host of other things that you can end up having to pay for just by making simple mistakes, avoidable mistakes, if you just knew those traps were out there, you could easily avoid them. But a lot of people don't even know that they're out there.Lapera: Yeah, it's all about reading the fine print, especially if you get your credit card from a bank, which I think most people do. A lot of them have all sorts of fees, and they're not technically hidden, they're in the fine print, or maybe the agent told you while you were applying for the credit card. For example, you have to keep a certain balance in your savings account, and you have to keep a debit card open as well so that they don't charge you for any of the accounts, or something like that. It's about reading the fine print.Caplinger: It's all there, somewhere. It's just that most people don't go to the trouble of reading that big long book, or the piece of paper that you need a magnifying glass to read to see all the things you might end up having to pay for.Lapera: I read that, on average, the length of the average credit card agreement is about 44 pages. (laughs) That's a lot of pages!Caplinger: A little lite reading for you.Lapera: "Lite" in the fact that they make the print so tiny that it doesn't seem very long. So, we talked a little bit about credit card debt, how you might get there. Let's talk about something that's related to that, which is credit scores. Dan, why are credit scores important?Caplinger: Credit scores have become increasingly important because, basically, if you ever need to get financing for something, whether at the house, a car, or even basic consumer loans, it's important to have a good credit score so that you can have any chance of getting that loan in the first place. In addition, even once you climb above the barrier for getting the loan at all -- the higher your credit score is, the better your terms are likely to be. If you have a really good credit score, not only would you maybe be able to get offers and take advantage of offers that other people wouldn't even receive, but your interest rate might be lower, you might be eligible for bigger credit card rewards, the terms of the repayment might be easier for you. You get some rewards, you get some benefits, from doing the work to get your credit score as strong as it can be.Lapera: Right. You might be wondering who comes up with the credit scores and how are they calculated? There's three credit bureaus, which is Equifax, TransUnion, and Experian. They all use the same basic factors to get your credit score. Some of them weight some more or less. But, by working on those credit factors you can improve your credit score. The one that, in general, holds the most weight is how on time you are with your payments. Editor's note: Credit scores range from 300 to 850. Higher credit scores are better. Caplinger: Yeah. Having a good payment history is really important. That's where you get back into those terms. You need to understand when those payments are due. You have to make sure that you give enough lead time so that when you make that payment it's going to credit on time, so you're not charged with a late payment. That way, you won't have to pay that fee, but you also won't get that ding on the credit report that hurts this amount, because your payment history makes up about 35% of what your credit score is. So, getting in the habit of being on time with those payments, it can be a really big boost if you've had bad payment history in the past. Getting that fixed will see that score bump up a really large amount.Lapera: Yeah, even if it's just a minimum payment, it's a really important thing to be on time. The next most important thing, probably -- because they don't actually release exactly how they figure out the formula, but in general, people have figured this is about what it is -- is the percentage of the utilized credit limit. This is the combination of every line of credit that you have, how much you're using it. Say you have two credit cards and one has a limit of $1,000 and one has a limit of $2,500, so the total is $3,500. It's how much you use out of that entire amount.Caplinger: Yeah. You hear people talking about, "I'm almost maxed out on my credit cards," and usually that's a bad sign in terms of this part of the scoring. If you have most of the credit that you have been extended, if you're using all of that up, and you already have debt of that amount, it means you really don't have that much left to borrow, and the credit scoring bureaus are going to say, "Boy, that seems risky. That means you don't have that much more capacity to borrow, and you owe a lot compared to what credit card companies and other lenders are willing to give you in the first place." That adds up to a more troubling situation than somebody who has a couple hundred dollars on their credit cards, but they have thousands of dollars of credit limit. For them, they're not very concerned, because they haven't really used up much of their credit at all.Lapera: Yeah. So, there's two ways to attack this. One is to spend less. The other is to get your lines of credit increased, which can be tempting fruit for some people, because they're like, "Oh, I have a bigger credit limit, that means I can spend more money." But, the idea is, if you increase your credit limit, then the amount that you spend regularly will be a smaller percentage of that. So, one of the ways you can do this is, if you do have a good record with your credit card company -- so, again, if you already have a good credit score, sometimes it gets in a self-perpetuating loop -- you can ask your bank to bump up your limit. I know, some banks, you can ask for that online, you don't even have to go into a branch anymore.Caplinger: Yeah. Or, the customer service lines, you can call in on the phone and they can sometimes be helpful as well.Lapera: Yeah. And sometimes they just raise your credit limit just because you have been a good customer for a long time. That happens on occasion. They'll just send you a letter saying, "Hey, it's more."Caplinger: But be careful. A lot of times, when a bank makes that decision, it's based on the expectation that you're the sort of person who is going to take advantage of that by spending up toward that higher credit limit. So, really, the most important thing about managing your credit cards is knowing yourself, and knowing what your predilections are. If you're going to be tempted, if that temptation is going to be too much to resist, then you have to think about that, and you have to manage things accordingly.Lapera: Yeah, definitely. I've heard multiple people, also my age, say that they don't trust themselves with a credit card, so they don't have one. It's one of those things that, when I hear that, I'm like, "Ugh, you're shooting yourself in the foot for if you ever want a loan!" But, I mean, that is a deep knowledge of oneself that a lot of people don't have. So, I don't know how to feel about it.Caplinger: It's hard. You're better off having a credit card than not having it in terms of building up a healthy credit history. But like you say, if it's a potential addiction, you might be better off staying totally clear, rather than having it and misusing it.Lapera: Yeah. I want to make a little side note here. The easiest way to build credit is via a credit card, because it's easier to get them something like a home loan or an auto loan. You can build credit on those things, but generally you're going to have to have someone co-sign on a loan with you. So, it'll go on your credit score, it'll also go on the other person's credit score. So, keep that in mind, if you were thinking about co-signing a loan with someone to help them out, to help them start building credit, that debt also goes in your name. So, it can impact your credit score as well. So, in general, credit cards are the easiest way to build up. But I think, Dan, you were saying that student loans also go toward credit scores, right?Caplinger: Yeah. A lot of people, their first exposure to debt is when they go to college and they need to borrow money in order to pay their tuition and their room and board and that kind of thing. With most student loans, they're in the student's name, versus the ones that are in the parent's names. Student loans for the student use that student's social security number, goes on the student's credit history. Some of those loans, like you said, even if they're co-signed by parents, if it's in a student's name, it's the student that's on the hook for it. If you're in that situation, take those student loan payments seriously, because they might be the foundation on which you're building up a healthy credit score, if you manage your debt well. Lapera: Yeah, which brings us back to our next metric, which is how many lines of credit you have. That includes auto loans, mortgages, student loans, and credit cards. The more different types you have, and the greater in number they are, the better your credit score.Caplinger: That's right. That's generally right. What lenders want to see it's like you're able to handle different kinds of debt. Whether that's a fixed-payment kind of debt like a car loan, where you have a set amount that you pay every month, or a home mortgage, a fixed mortgage where you pay that set amount every month, as well as the variable amounts you would pay on credit cards, that gives a more complete picture of how credit-worthy you are.Lapera: Yeah. Again, this is kind of the double edged sword. Because you could take out a bunch of different kinds of credit. But of course, that means you'll have a bunch of different ways to get into debt. And that's part of the thing they're measuring -- your capacity to be in debt, because that makes you a good customer, because they know you will be paying at least the principal and probably interest payments, if you're the average American, as well, and that's how banks and credit card companies make money. Number four is the length of your credit history. There is no way to game the system on this one. You just have to have a line of credit for as long as possible. The longer you have credit, the better your credit score. The only way, if you really want to try and to help someone else, if you have kids, you can open a credit card in their name and your name and pay money to pay off the bill every month, and that will help them. That's actually what my parents did for me. Thanks Mom and Dad!Caplinger: Yeah, the one strategy you can use here, it comes up when people are thinking about closing out a credit card. A lot of time, you might have a credit card and you don't really use it that much anymore, and you think, "I have a better card," maybe the old card is just a plain old vanilla credit card where is the new credit card you have gives you mileage, air miles, or points or cash back or something like that. Before you cancel that old card, consider what effect it's going to have on the length of your credit history. If it's your oldest card, if you've had it forever, then sometimes it makes sense to hang on to it and to use it every once in a while in order to make sure that you maintain that length of credit history and boost up your score a little bit.Lapera: Yeah. You can do that. Other than that, like I said, it's pretty much parents putting the kid's name on their debt, which is a double-edged sword, because if the parents don't pay off the debt, then the kid's credit score gets trashed before they even have a chance to start. Then, the last metric that the credit unions check is hard checks. It's a hard pull on your credit score. This is, for example, if you go to a car dealership and you're going to buy a car, they always check your credit before they offer you the loans, so they know what terms to give you. If you have a lot of those hard pulls on your credit, you're going to be dinged at least a few points, because that means, for whatever reason, you're opening up a lot of debt at the same time.Caplinger: That's really what they're looking for. If you're going out and trying to open three or four new credit card accounts all at the same time, most of the credit card bureaus are going to assume that the reason you're doing that is, you got yourself in trouble and you need a big inflow of credit right now. That's the kind of risk that those bureau want to take a look at closely and flag their customers on so that whoever the last person is to give that new credit card understands, when they're doing it, that this person already just opened up a whole bunch of other things, and to take that into account in making the decision about whether or not to give you that card.Lapera: Yes. So, now you might be asking yourself, how do I get this information? Do I have to pay for it? The answer is no, it's free. There's a couple of different ways to go about getting your credit history, which is also a very vital thing -- you should check it periodically to make sure there's no one expected loans or charges that are under your name that shouldn't be there. But, the other thing is to check your credit score. Dan, I think you do the free report every year with the three bureaus, right?Caplinger: I do. You can go to annualcreditreport.com. It is a government-sponsored site, and it let's you pick, you get your credit report from each of the three reporting bureaus once every year. You can get all three reports at the same time, you can get one now and wait a few months and get the second then wait a few months and get the third, however you want to do it. It will not give you credit scores, it only gives you the credit report. But that will tell you all the sources of credit that you have. It will, like you said, flag up if you see something that you didn't borrow, it will tell you that. It's federally mandated that you have access to that website on an annual basis.Lapera: Yeah. And then there's some other credit reporting sites that, you have to put in your credit card number, and they offered to send you your credit report every month. But since you're entitled to that one free credit report, if you put in your credit card number and cancel it after you get your free credit report -- they're federally mandated to give you at least one free one -- you can also do that. I am going to sound like a corporate shill here for a second, but I promise I'm not getting paid, creditkarma.com. They show you your credit score for TransUnion and Equifax, and you can check it whenever you want. They also give you your credit reports. That's free. You can check it multiple times a month, however many times you want. The way that they make money is through ads. They're like, "We see you have this credit score, have you thought about this credit card, or this type of loan for yourself?" But it's great, because you can monitor your credit score pretty constantly. That's really important for me, because all of my data has been stolen multiple times through the OPM hack. If you're from DC, I'm sure you've heard of it. Even my fingerprints are gone. Someone in China probably has them. I don't know what they're doing with them. It's pretty sad that they have them. (laughs) But, that's why I monitor my credit reports so hawkishly, because I know that it's out there. Most people's are, but I definitely know that mine is. (laughs) So, yeah, do you have anything else you want to say, Dan?Caplinger: It's easy to think that credit is something you take advantage of when you need it, and you're not really thinking about it most of the time. But in order to have that credit available to you when you need it, it actually makes sense to think about these things beforehand, and to think, "If I'm thinking about buying a house a year or two from now, what's my credit score now?" And once I know that, how can I get it higher, so that when the time comes and I actually need the loan, I'm going to be in the best position to get it? Doing that homework can put you in a better position than trying to scramble at the last minute right when you need to get that loan, and you need it right now.Lapera: Definitely. And also, please be careful about getting into debt. Dan, I really love the way that you summarize our episodes at the end. There's a little perfect send-off every time. I also want our listeners to remember that this is not personalized advice, this is general advice. Please don't write to us and ask for personalized advice, because I'm going to send you an email back telling you that I cannot give you personalized advice, the SEC will not let me and I'll get into a lot of trouble. If you do have any questions that are general, please contact us at [email protected], or by tweeting us @MFIndustryFocus. Also, our internship applications close some time today or tomorrow. If you're really interested in working at The Motley Fool in the summer, the internships are awesome, that's how I got my job, you should scurry to our site, careers.fool.com or jobs.fool.com, both of them redirect to the same site, and apply right away, because I'm pretty sure those close tomorrow. Thank you so much for joining, us, Dan. You're always wise.Caplinger: Thanks for having me, Gaby. Lapera: And Austin, have you ever check your credit score?Austin Morgan: I have checked my credit score.Lapera: Excellent! I am really glad to hear that. Way to be responsible. Thank you to Austin, today's totally awesome producer, and thank you to you all for joining us. Everyone, have a great week, and go out there and check your credit score! Click to Post

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