#wheres my dad im all alone im too small to be here on my own etc etc. eepy.jpg

[theriverbeyond]

started my first dissection today 👍

[louscartridge]

bang chan with a reader who has daddy issues

bang chan x fem reader

cw- daddy issues and everything that comes with it (duh), mentions of sex and cockwarming, fluff, comfort.

a/n- whenever I see things with chan and daddy issues, its never actually daddy issues, its always just a daddy kink or whatever, yk? so this ones for all my stays with daddy issues out there 😞

❥ at first he'd think it was a bit strange, and he was a little confused. however, he wasn't surprised.

Chan had always had a good father, and he'd like to think he'd also be a good one, so he never understood how a dad could just be so rejectful towards their own child, but he knew that sadly, some of them are.

❥ you didn't even have to tell him about you daddy issues for him to eventually realize it. to be completely honest, he didn't ever know if you knew you had them.

❥ it was the way that you would grasp onto his arm, or get weirdly overly excited about small things, and some of your worries or things you would say that made him realize.

❥ but he knows that its the small things that you'd go over the moon for. he'd make sure you guys had movie nights, weather it would be with just the two of you, or the rest of his group, game nights, ect. he knows sometimes going out could be a bit overwhelming for you, so he'd try his best to cook for you. chan would also brush your hair every once and a while.... not only does he know you sometimes have trouble doing it yourself, but he also knows that it brings you some sense of comfort.

❥ one night you told him that you prefer to go to sleep when everyone was awake cause it gave you some sense of security, but you hated how alone you felt when you stayed up all by yourself. so now, he makes sure that you're asleep before he is. he'd lay there with you in his arms awake, for however long it takes for you to fall asleep before he does himself.

❥ Chan is so good at reassurance and reading you omg. he can tell when you're having your doubts.... weather you're feeling particularly insecure in the moment, or you're scared that he's gonna leave you, he can always tell. he's so good with his words, and his tone changes slightly whenever he's reassuring you in these moments. his 'i love you' somehow sounding so much softer then it usually does, along with his eyes looking much softer too.

❥ he doesn't want you to push yourself away cause you think he's gonna leave, hell always encourage you to talk to him. if you cant come out and say what you need, hell hint to the convo or start it himself.

using words face to face could be hard, he gets that. when you're too embarrassed to verbally talk to him about it, hell give you a piece of paper, and you could write what you need to on it, and give it to him whenever you're done. he'd never tell you when you needed to write on it though, that was all in your own time. even if you never gave it back to him, he just wants you to know that its always there for you to use and give to him.

❥ speaking of Chan being good at reading you, he can tell when you actually want sex or not. half the time, it's the look in your eyes. they're different, and glassy. not in a needy way or anything, but in a way where you look worried, scared, like you're about to cry.

sometimes you also use sex as a form of reassurance, but he needs you to know that you don't ever need to have sex with him just cause you think it'll make him stay. sometimes the two of you would just resort to cock warming if you really need to feel close to him, but hell try his best to turn you away.

"princess not right now." he'd say with his hands on both sides of your face, pulling you away.

"but daddy-"

"no, baby, im sorry. I'm always gonna be here tomorrow, and the next day, and every other day after, ok? I promise. I love you so much."

"always gonna be here." you'd nod to yourself with a small sniff.

❥ he understands that it might take you a bit to trust him, but he's so patient with gaining your trust. hell do everything he can to get it, and continue to do everything to keep it.

❥ Chan himself is a little possessive and get jealous easily, so he has no problem with that. what he does have a problem with, is the fact that half the time you're acting that way cause you think he's gonna leave or cheat on you. he'd never in a million years do either of those, and it breaks him whenever he thinks that you feel that. he never wants his baby to feel that way ever, but he knows there's not much he can do other then give you everything he has, and time.

you like that your boyfriend can be jealous and possessive tho. whenever he gets that way, you know for sure that he won't leave you. you are his, and he is yours. only and always.

❥ sometimes though, Chan does just need some space. there's nothing wrong with that, you know that. but you cant help but feel bad. 'was I too clingy? was I being annoying? oh god, he's gonna break up with me isn't he.' chan knows that's what you're gonna be thinking, so he always tells you a few days beforehand.

"babe, me and Felix are going somewhere on Thursday morning. I'll be back around 2:00 tho. ok?"

"why are you coming back so late?" you furrow your eyebrows.

"its a long drive is all"

he always comes back with flowers, or a stuffed animal, or something of the sort when he gets back. he'll text you and keep you updated whenever you can on days like that.

❥ since you're constantly around chan, you've gotten mad close to the guys. sometimes you find it funny, the group of you talking about how chan is always gushing about you, sometimes teasing him.

once you trust them enough, Hyunjin and Felix have field days with you telling them little things and details about your relationship.

[dckweed]

THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND ➺ bob floyd

summary: In which bob floyd gets himself into a bit of a pickle and calls on his hot, recently single neighbor to help him out, the situation is mutually beneficial..in more ways than one.

warnings: fake dating, violence, domestic violence mentioned, nicknames, slowburn, eventual smut.

this is an x reader fic where reader is referred to as sunshine or sunny as a nickname, also i know the moodboard is a lil wonky no one say anything im gonna fix it! i made it on my phone half asleep lmao.

part one: here

PART TWO - THE FAKE INSTAGRAM

After the whole fiasco of snorting water out of your nose and scaring the poor man half to death, Bob insists on taking you to the quaint coffee shop on the corner of the street you guys lived on, just a few steps away from the front doors of the apartment building. Reluctantly, you agree, curious to know more about the predicament your neighbor had gotten himself into. He lets you have a few minutes to throw a cropped zip up hoodie over yourself, and a baseball cap to help shade the still slightly visible bruise on your face before you meet him in the hallway. He had clipped Cosie to her leash and the excited little furball was yipping excitedly when you stepped out of your home, closing the door behind you. 

“Hi Cosie baby!” You say excitedly, your voice sweeter than honey as you crouched down to her level to excitedly scratch her behind the ears like she loved. “You being a good girl for your dad?” You ask teasingly, you knew she could never be bad, and Bob practically treated her like a princess anyway. 

“Always is..” Bob says, his accent drawling out a few of the syllables in a way that you just loved to hear. God, you thought to yourself, this man could record an audio book and have everyone swooning.  “You ready?” 

You smile, straightening up. “Yeah, lets go..” 

He was truly a gentleman you noted, he held the door to the apartment building, and the coffee shop for you as if it was second nature, only humming in response to your simple thank you, and when he pulled the chair out for you at the small table on their outdoor patio, you hoped that he didn’t notice the blush on your neck and face. Were you really so used to guys that were such brutes that you got flustered by basic acts of kindness? He hadn’t argued with you too much on paying for your own drink, letting you do it after a small squabble..or maybe you really didn’t give him a choice..you had already payed with your phone while you were arguing before he had even gotten his wallet out of his back pocket. 

“So,” You say as he sits across from you, looping Cosie’s leash to the more shaded side of the table. “Can you elaborate on the whole girlfriend thing for me?” Now it was him who was turning red. 

He fidgets awkwardly with his hot, black coffee for a moment, those eyebrows knit tightly together again. He clears his throat before he speaks. “I kind of..already told all of my friends that we’re dating.” He says, you lean back in the chair, your head tilted slightly towards the sun as you listen to him. You enjoyed the warmth on your face.“I..i don’t know what came over me..we were all drinking, and they said something about dating it somehow turned to me..and i just..i’m so tired of Hangman and his fucking manwhore whorier than thou attitude and always teasing me for not going on dates all  the time..” 

“So you told them you were dating someone?” You ask, seeing where the story was going. You could tell that the story alone was irritating him by the was his hand clenched around his coffee cup and the tightness around his mouth, the tick in his jaw. You wondered how long he had been putting up with this ‘Hangman’ guy. 

Bob nods. “And then they asked her name, and at the time the only thing i could come up with quickly enough to not seem suspicious was Sunny..so..” You laugh a little bit, this man was adorable, and obviously gentle even though he was clearly upset by what he was talking about. You liked that about him, you decided. 

How could you not help him? And really, what could it hurt? “How long would you need me to be your girlfriend for?” You ask, bringing the straw of your iced latte to your lips, moaning softly as the heavy caramel flavor hit your tongue. You could drink it forever. You see his body sag a little at your words, a little more relaxed. 

“Just long enough to make it believable.” He states, eyeing you from across the table. Cosie’s cold nose pokes your leg and you happily reach down and scratch her head, giving the little baby all the attention she wanted. “A couple of nights out with my friends, obviously, and im sure Nat will want to hang out with you one on one..” He says, actually thinking of the scenarios that would most likely take place. “A couple of official work events, probably, I would say, a few months..” 

You turn your attention back to him, lips pursed. A few months? That would land you around the beginning of the year..through Christmas..you had agreed to go home for the holiday’s this year. You arched a brow as you thought. It would look good if you brought a man home to your family, especially a man like Bob, they would swoon all over him..you wouldn’t have to spend the whole week hearing your grandmother tell you that you should be married already, or have a family like your brother and sister.. “Okay, i’ll help you out, but only if the fake boyfriend thing can be used in my favor too..” You say. He nods immediately. “So..rules?” 

The two of you talk for a couple of hours at the coffee shop, the little table filled with the occasional laughter as you talked about rules of the arrangement, and what would need to be done. Later on you found yourself on one side of your couch, Bob on the other as the two of you tried to work out a schedule. 

“Can you meet with me and the crew at our usual bar tomorrow night?” He asks, looking up from his phone at you. Natasha and Jake were blowing up the group chat about meeting you and it was slowly driving him insane. He had about forty text messages from this morning until right that moment. 

You shake your head. :”I have work tomorrow night, but i’m off Monday.” You say, looking up from your own phone. You had been texting your sister about your plans for the Holidays. “My sister wants to know where you’re from, and what you do and i dont think she’ll take ‘navy dude’ as an answer” Bob looks at you, slightly offended. 

“Navy dude?” He asks, setting his phone down for just a moment. “Sunny, i’m not just a ‘navy dude’, i’m a weapons system officer. I control the weapons and radar in multi million dollar government aircraft.” He looked completely offended by your terminology and you struggled to hold in a giggle at the way he was explaining his official job title to you. “..and I’m from Montana.” 

“That explains the accent.” You say, texting your sister back.

Bob scoffs. “Accent?” He’d never been told he had an accent before. “Where are you from? This is basic stuff we should probably know about each other if we want people to believe this, you know?” You hummed in response, he was definitely right. “Also, Phoenix wants to know what your instagram is..” 

“Well, that depends on how much you want your friends to know about me.” You say, setting your phone down to look at him. He looks up at you, eyebrows furrowed again. You have the sudden urge to reach across the damn couch and smooth the area with your thumb, but you resist. “Don’t look at me like that, you know what i mean. Are they the judgemental type?” He opens his mouth, as if to protest and say no, but then closes it and gives a slight nod. “Okay, so fake insta it is.” 

It was a good thing you already had a fake instagram account for your grandmother and other family members because it made it a hell of alot easier for you. “A fake instagram? Won’t they think something is weird if it doesn’t have any pictures of us together on it?” He asks, not fully sure of your plan. You roll your eyes and maneuver yourself so you’re laying in Bob’s lap, looking directly up at him. 

His entire body goes stiff and you can’t tell if its from surprise or from being uncomfortable with your proximity, but you don’t move and after a few moments his thigh muscles untense. He smells good, you realize as you breathe in slightly. “My fake account isn’t exactly fake, okay?” You say, opening the instagram app on your phone and switching it to your second profile. “It’s just not the one I use mainly that i post on for my friends or well, if you were actually my boyfriend, you, to see..” 

“Then what is the point of it?” He asks looking down at you, his accent flowing smoothly through you. His voice was a little quieter now that you were so close to him, and in all honesty you didn’t mind it one bit. 

You chuckle, giving him your phone so he can scroll through it. “I normally use it for my grandma and other family members, so they won’t have a damn heart attack..they already don’t like my line of work, there’s no need to go killing them with some pictures.” Bob hums in response, scrolling through a few of the posts. “It’s the extremely tame version of my main account.”

His phone pings again and he grunts, rolling his eyes. Before he can even try to hand you your own back, you grab his off the arm of the couch above you and thank god that it was already unlocked. You gasp at the text. “Hangman wants proof that im a real girl and not just a figment of your imagination.” You say, an idea coming to mind. You roll off of his lap and quickly stand, pulling him by the forearm to his feet as he makes a disgruntled noise. 

You lead him down the small hallway, past your bedroom and into your bathroom (which was thankfully not its usual disastrous mess of makeup and lingerie scattered everywhere). “Okay, stand there..” You grab him by the biceps, shocked at how solid they are because he honestly didn’t seem to be overly buff to you, and position him exactly where you want him. 

“Sunny, what’re we doin’?” He sighs, letting you move him around every which way. He had to admit, he liked the way you grabbed his arms, the way you squeezed at his biceps. He tried not to let his mind linger too much on it though, tried not to notice the way that your fingertips left a trail of goosebumps in their wake every time they lingered anywhere on his bare skin. 

“Taking pictures, duh.” You say as if it should have been obvious. You turn around, satisfied with his position, and face the mirror yourself, positioning his arm around your shoulders and over your chest as you press back against his surprisingly solid body. You weren’t exactly a short person by any means, but there was definitely a noticeable height difference between you and him. Your head just barely cleared his shoulders, his chin able to rest perfectly onto of your head. It made for a cute photo, you thought and you pretended not to notice the goofy smirk on his face as you captured the photo as stealthily as you could, leaning back into his chest as his chin rested on top of your head, his arm over your chest and your hand wrapped around his forearm as you took the picture, acutely aware of his hand just over the waistband of your lululemon pants. 

You hum, thinking about what other positions would be cute enough to send to his friends and post to your fake insta account, you wanted to hard launch him to your family too if you were hard launching to his friends. You turn the camera of his phone front facing, and set it up to take rapid photos on a timer before you abruptly turn around and jump up, locking your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. 

“Smile at me.” You say, as your hand snakes up into his hair. You didn’t really have to though because he was already smiling at you in surprise as you leaned your forehead against his. “I didn’t think you’d be able to hold me.” You giggle suddenly, and the sound makes his smile grow wider as he adjusts his hands so they’re fulling on your ass, supporting you as he drops his head to your shoulder. 

The whole ordeal of the photo session takes about fifteen minutes or so, and when you’re finished you lead him back out into the living room. “Sorry to jump on you like that, but i had to catch you off guard, i wanted it to look believable.” You say, sitting back down on the couch. He only hums in response, taking a spot next to you as he watches you pick through your favorite photos in his camera roll to text to yourself. 

“You’re awfully good at that,” He ques, watching you edit some of the photos you had sent to your own phone, before you compose an instagram post of the best ones. “I always just take them and post them, i never thought that filters really mattered..” 

You chuckle at the man, shaking your head. “What’s your instagram, bobby?” You ask, using your nickname for him as you type out a caption for the post. 

“Oh, uh,” a slight blush heats up his neck and face and he clears his throat before responding. “It’s @thewizzo ..natasha actually came up with the handle.” You type it into your caption, eyebrows furrowed. You’re about to ask him what the hell a wizzo is when he answers it for you. “It’s uh, well, sometimes its a nickname, or another acronym for WSO..” 

“Oh, snazzy..” You say showing him the post. It was a series of four photos and a small, but cute caption.

“Is it Bobby approved?” You ask. He gives you an affirmative nod and you hit the post button, knowing it would only be a matter of minutes before your sister and brother blow up your phone. “Okay, well, here’s to our fake relationship!” You say, attaching the photo of Bob holding you with his hands on your ass to a text with your instagram handle and sending it to his friends group chat. 

The phone pings before you’ve even handed it back to him. 

Hangman: holy fuck she’s real.  Phee: shut up you moron, im following her rn!!  Rooster: …wait i thought i was imagining this conversation last night Payback: oh, shit..way to go Bob!!

taglist!

@mamachasesmayhem @hangmandruigandmav @shotgunhallelujah @shiara04 @3tabbiesandalab @tgmreader @flrboyd @goosterroose @mrspedropascal5683 @sugajar

@dory-98 @justherebecausesafarisucks

[marigold-hills]

Dunes and Waters

PART 1 • NEXT PART

PART 2:

Here is the thing about living alone: the routines. Little patterns of behaviour, daily rituals. Like turning on the kettle for tea before going to brush your teeth. A cigarette smoked out the kitchen window while waiting for it to cool down. Cryptic crosswords in the morning paper.

Remus has been living by himself for six years, ever since his mum died and his dad decided he couldn’t live with the reminder, going off to travel the Scottish Highlands and never returning. And he likes it, Remus does; never mind if he’s in his tiny studio in London, his old university accommodation, or in this lovely hotel in Egypt. Being alone suits him.

This morning, his crossword is half (and incorrectly) completed. The water from the kettle emptied and not replaced. His cigarettes – of which he still had three, he’s certain – all gone.

Worst of all? Sirius Black, hair up in a knot held up with his wand, sprawled out onto Remus’ favourite windowsill smoking what must be his last cigarette.

He looks like a cover of an album. Framed by the morning sun. Velvet Underground would pay a fortune for a picture of him right now, dressed in a loose billowy shirt he’s procured from Merlin knows where, and nothing else but boxers. Andy Warhol would paint him like he painted Marilyn – obsessively, repeatedly. Immortalise how he flicks the cigarette, a bit of ash falling onto the windowsill. Runs a restless thumb down the line of his bottom lip. Hums to himself softly and Remus thinks I was right because even subdued like this, it truly is a voice to behold.  

“I didn’t know how you take your tea,” Black says in leu of greeting.

“With hot water, to start with.” The meaning (refill the damned kettle!) seems lost on him, as he goes back to watching the world outside the window.

Must be a strange thing, to be here. Yesterday, and for the last two months, he woke up in a tiny cell made even smaller by the range of the chain holding him down. The window too high up and too small to give sunlight or a view, and even if he’d managed to get up there, he’d only have seen the sunken walls surrounding the jail.

Remus refills the kettle (again) and turns it on (again).

“Might making me one too?”

And Remus is a polite person. His mother taught him to be. So he turns off the kettle. Adds enough water for another tea, and hopes that this time is the last time.

“I like it real sweet,” Sirius drawls, stretching his vowels like a cat after a sun nap. “Lots of sugar.”

“You can add your own.”

“So inhospitable. So cruel. I’m sick, you know?”

“Sick enough to smoke all my cigarettes. Did you take your potions at least?”

A sharp tiny smile, a break in the veneer. “Knew you wouldn’t mind, Professor. You look like a right standup guy. The kind that lends others his smokes and his tea.”

“Potions?” Remus doesn’t let the man derail him. It must be an insult, with the way Black says it, but the doctor asked him to keep an eye, and he promised.

Never mind that he really doesn’t want his work delayed if Black gets worse on account of his own stupidity. It’s too important. Too time-sensitive.

“Yes, yes. I’ve taken them. Scouts honour, Professor. Or should I call you Doctor, instead, hmm? I’m sure you have one of those as well.”

“A doctorate? No. Not yet.”

“Pity. Professor it is then.”

“Just Remus. Please.”

NEXT PART

NOTES:

So I’m not going with the prompts this month because they just REALLY didn’t fit this story, but should still have 500 word bits every day :)

im currently applying for jobs so can’t write as fast as I normally do (they all have tests! Or hackathons! So so long), but will keep updating hopefully as usual

i love love love cryptic crosswords. They’re confusing as hell and fry my brain in such a delightful way :):):)

how are we all surviving AO3 being down?

@tealeavesandtrash

@moon-girl88

@hoje--aqui

(let me know if you do/don’t want to be tagged!)

[theeternalhost]

100 reasons to live

your family

your friends

the feeling you get when you’ve finished something

the feeling you get when you get a compliment

the feeling you get when you buy new clothes

the feeling you get when you try on new clothes

the feeling you get when your room is tidy

the feeling you get when you're laughing hesterically.

the feeling you get when you make a new friend

the feeling you get when you make someone smile

you’d have to watch your family and friends grieve.

you’ve never been to that place you always wanted to visit.

you’ve never been to disney world.

you’ve never been skinny dipping.

you’ve never swam in a lake.

you’ve never met your idol.

you haven’t gotten married.

you’ve never decorated your own house.

you’ve never saved someone’s life.

you haven’t learnt to drive.

there is music you haven’t listen too.

you have so many more people to meet.

everyone who thought you’d do well in life, would have been wrong.

the people who said you’d end up no where, would have been right.

all the fake people would pretend to like u and post u on their stories.

you would have been the best mom or dad.

you haven’t lived the ‘my funeral will be packed’ type of life.

your friends would suffer.

your mum would never be able to walk into your room.

you haven’t apologised to people you have hurt.

someone loves you.

you are not alone.

i’m here for you.

the clothes you’re buried in might be gross.

you haven’t truly loved yourself yet.

suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.

you haven’t watched your kids open their christmas presents.

you haven’t watched your kids grow older.

the pain you feel right now, isn’t forever.

there are so many foods you haven’t tried.

you’ll never get the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day.

finding your person.

really soft pillows.

eating pizza with your kids and partner.

you’ve never danced in the rain.

you’ve never kissed someone in the rain.

there are so many hobbies you haven’t tried.

you’ll never have a sleepover with your best friend again.

your friends would blame themselves.

your mom's smile.

your best friend's laugh.

your sister would lose her best friend.

your cousins that look up to you.

hot chocolate on cold days.

ice water on hot days.

getting a tan.

hearing ‘i love you’.

not being able to sleep the night before and exciting day.

your birthday.

you’ve never been to a nightclub.

long hot showers.

long steamy baths.

freshly shaved legs.

perfectly smooth hair.

watching people trip over small objects.

you could have a huge impact on someone’s life.

you would regret dying.

you can’t change your mind once you're gone.

you wake up everyday for a reason.

stars.

you will always be enough.

movies that make you feel warm when they’re over.

reading powerful quotes.

genuine smiles.

the crunch of autumn leaves.

christmas.

christmas eve.

decorating the tree.

long meaningful hugs.

sunsets.

ice cream.

you never got that puppy.

you are so brave, it would be a waste to let the fire go.

rainbows.

travelling to new places.

funny stories.

funny jokes.

inside jokes.

coffee.

your talents would go to waste.

the feeling you get when you’re truly happy.

all nighters with friends.

cuddling.

reconnecting with old friends and family.

smiling.

capturing perfect moments on camera.

swimming on a hot day.

feeling cozy in blankets.

helping other people with the same thing you got help with. 100! becoming successful.

cute babies.

this is so weird. lists like these make me want to kill myself more! is this all there is in living that makes it worth it to you people? puppy cuddles, etc? and i would like to challenge 11 and 67, how exactly will i know how people will react to my death?? ill be dead, retard! 97 im incapable of feeling as a dysthymic, 71, 69, 39, 35, 33, 32 and 31 are meaningless word soup, i also do not have a sister and if my friends are good friends theyll be happy for me that im finally free from existence. i dont have the energy to sit here and explain why all of these 100 reasons are idiotic, but they are. people like you are utterly delusional and i hope one day you stop lying to yourself about the supposed value of life.

[sugar-omi]

Could I please request hc or a drabble about Cove as a new parent with a female MC? Thank you! ❤️

its your lucky day (aka you've asked smth ive been thinking abt for days LOL) bc ive written hc's and drabbles <333 although mostly messy hc's that are in no coherent order also I think I will come back n write more coherent n specific scenarios bc I have sm thoughts on cove through parenthood.... pls tysm for this ask I hope it's satisfactory bc i wrote in order of my thoughts LOL

tags : fluff, AFAB reader, after step 3/wedding dlc, "options" for 1 or 2 babes (if you hc triplets im praying for u🙏), no gender mention of the babe/s, birth surrogacy n adoption are up for imagination but pregnancy/surrogacy is most implied altho i think you could imagine adopting a baby before they're born bc ik some ppl do that

synopsis : how cove acts when you have your first kid & a bit on how he is raising them with you <3

many many candid shots of cove holding the baby

PLEASE tell me someone recorded near the end of the birth/when they brought you the babe

he's crying. no matter what he's crying his fuckin eyes out

if you're giving birth please either have him wait outside n come in to cut the cord at the end bc he might faint

if you do have him in the room he'll be on his best behavior. will try his best not to worry too much bc he knows it could stress you out

(I'm thinking abt this video I saw where the wife said her husband fainted n fell back into this rolly office chair n just rolled to the back of the room into the dark side (it was apparently a long room lollll))

if you're in for a long labor or it's pretty short he's more calm bc either it's over before he can freak out or it's so fuckin long he's over it LOL

he's more of a solid, physical support than anything else because he's not too good with words but also he dosn't want you to feel pressured, annoyed, or smth with constant "you got this!" "its okay!" as you're pushing out a whole human, its not a simple task

[video 1]

COVE: so little... COVE: (looks at his mom/dad) are they supposed to be this small? (watery laugh)

is very scared to hold the babe, he's a big guy, with or without the muscles so he's always gentle with them even once they get bigger

definitely texts his dad during the pregnancy/surrogacy/adoption process "I hope i can be a good dad like you"

cliff getting a text from cove at 3am: "ty for raising me idk how you did it omg"

cliff is crying n flying over there immediately

!!!! if you need someone to help you adjust cliff is on the fuckin way!!! you can't even finish asking bc he's alrdy here, whatever you need guys!!!!

but if you want to be alone to bond w the babe or you hire a professional to help with the transition then he or your moms will come over and clean up, prepare food, and allows you to come home and not worry about getting things done.

dies if the kid has his hair color or eyes, like at first he just finds it crazy that he's a dad n that he has a lil spawn of his own

also lots of pictures of cliff playing w the babe/s

we all know cove can be lazy with his hair, but he doesn't want his kid going to school w crazy hair so he learns

at first it looks like a mess

n if you keep your hair short or can only do smth simple, its time to call your ma or lee for help LOL

imagine cove standing by your ma as she's showing him how to braid... so sweet

cove is tip-toeing through the house, trying to shake off his outside clothes quietly and when he walks back into the room after brushing his teeth he's greeted with the sweet sound of his baby's giggle

you are sound asleep.

you and the other babe are sound asleep.

he shushes the baby, easing himself into the bed. suddenly he thinks that spending all that money on this big bed was worth it, especially with the way his achy body sinks into it.

"cove?..."

he reaches over the babe/s. "sorry.. did I wake you?"

you hum, it's not a yes or a no, just a sleepy sound and he laughs at how out of it you are even though you're trying to fight it, stroking your face and carding his fingers through your hair.

"I love you.. thank you." he whispers. this moment is so delicate. he worries a bit that if he speaks too loud it'll be gone and he'll wake up in his teenage bedroom, staring at the bottom of his scratched up bunk bed.

"f'what?" you blink slowly.

"for everything..." he grins softly, thinking about that night

of your wedding, when you told him you wanted kids with him.

after the ORCA fundraiser dinner, when you asked him if he imagined having kids with you.

"we made it. that future we talked about..."

you smile softly, more awake now. "thanks for making it with me."

he laughs, muffins his face in the pillow and resting a hand on the baby, willing them not to wake. "how can you thank me for that?"

you grin, more sleepy than anything but still full of mischief.

"how can you thank me for getting me pregnant?" you giggle at your husband's flustered face.

"how can you thank me for being here like I promised years later?" you tease, bringing up night of the fundraiser.

cove flushes, burying his face in the babies hair instead of answering you.

he puts an arm around you, careful of the little one/s between you. "just go to bed..."

gb lady said cove is sahd material.....

omg he makes them lunch always, or he at least helps you make lunch because his cooking skills are a bit limited and they'd prbly have star shaped sandwiches and applesauce everyday

HE HAS A THING TO PUT THE BABE IN WHILE HE DOES HOUSE SHIT

your kids are definitely cuddles bc of him, he always picks em up, and if he doesn't have a carrier than he'll make a makeshift one out of a blanket.

omg imagine him and the kid/s at the dining table crying tryna figure out the homework

"its getting worse y/n!!!" "what the fuck is common core math?!" "babe call the teacher, something is missing here..."

if you're bad at math or smth too than you're all fucked n your kid/s AND COVE are facetiming his dad for a long distance tutoring lesson

he's reading them books every night

HE gets upset when it doesn't happen

"babe we gotta turn around, I only read them 5 books we're gonna be gone 6 nights."

FaceTime them every night you're away just the two of u

falls asleep w the kids in the weirdest positions

why is there a princess crown on his head and where did the face paint come from????

spoils the kid/kids. you're gonna go bankrupt please stop!!!

when your kid/s finally graduate n move out on their own, he thanks his dad for raising him and teaching him how to be the best dad.

also thanks you for just being amazing n reassuring him whenever he worried abt doing something wrong

if you have more than 1, he's a master by baby 2/3

COVE: (holding fresh baby, whispering) ....why is it so red

raising you kid/s w cove is tough at first, cove worries about doing some wrong or failing as a parent.

and he did eventually admit he was worried about raising his kid/s in a "broken" home. his parents did their best! and he loves them, but the split was hard for him and he doesn't want them to go through the same feelings.

every day is a new experience in your house to say the least

I imagine it's filled w lots of worry, love, and tears

COVE N HIS KID/S HAVE A CRY COUNT

(cove is losing somehow?! he's been out crybaby-ed)

[rafedaddy01]

Pt1

Notes: here is the long awaited pt2, I’m sorry it took so long. I’ve been active but I haven’t had the chance to sit down and write this until now. Ps. I didn’t double check for spelling errors so if you see any just 🤫

Last night was strange. I try to push the embarrassing thoughts from invading my mind as i stir in bed, the sun coming up and painting the room.

Our exchange was awkward if anything more. he just eyed me up and down and smirked as i burst out of the room and shut the door. i slid down onto the floor and just sat there for a minute trying to process what i just saw.

Ive never been with a boy let alone seen one naked. Especially one that looks like THAT!

oof, i knew rafe cameron would be good looking but i expected him to look like all the rich, silver-spoon, snobs ive met. But no. he was god like. His hair was slicked back and his eyes roamed my body from the mirror dangerously, i could see the blue in them from where i was standing and they were mesmerizing. His facial features are sculpted to perfection and his abs. Oh. My. God.

and then there was his -dick- gross i dont like that word, but there it was. just staring at me. ive never seen one, besides in porn. Im not a prude i know what sex is and yes i indulge in my own sexual pleasure, but ive never actually seen one in person beofre, but if they all look like that then sign me up!

I groan as my alarm rings at 6am sharp. I always get up early because i like the morning peace. back home i would climb the roof of our manor and watch as the sun rose. it was my own private meditation and helped ease some of the stress my parents enforced on me as a 18 year old.

I walk to the bathroom rubbing my eyes and yawning, i dont expect anyone to be up at this time and i want to relax in the shower.

"Oh my god! dont you ever lock the door?" i say as i take a step back and shut the door. I could hear his deep laugh from the other side as he walked up an dopened the door. "dont worry, pretty girl, im all dressed this time" i could feel his smirk even though my hands were still covering my eyes.

i let them fall and hes right hes very much clothed. shame, wait what am i thinking! I take him in, hes wearing a bright orange shirt that as small white stripes on it and cargo shorts, his hair is slicked back with gel like last night, oh god last night. my eyes shift down to his crotch. is he.. hard?' "see something you like pretty girl?" he cocks an eyebrow at me as he leans on the door frame. "i sure do" he says smugly

oh shoots, i forgot im still wearing my sleepwear, its a black lacy bralette and matching panties, i dont like sleeping with clothes on it gets too hot. im instantly aware of how exposed i am and rush for a hoodie from my luggage, it wont cover much but it drops to just above my thighs and its better than nothing "sorry" i murmur, "dont be, its only fair i see you naked now" he says as he walks into my room and exits through my bedroom door.

"see you at breakfast? shame i missed dinner last night, i was looking forward to meeting you miss Morales" he stops in the doorway and says this before leaving

i cant help but blush. is rafe flirting with me?

i shake it off and go back to my morning routine, i take a shower and wash myself with the same cedarwood and ginger shampoo i did last night and put on some baggy jeans and hoodie as i make my way to breakfast.

"good morning Avery" ward says as they all sit in the same seats from last night, except rafe is here and his seat is right next to mine. fuck.

"you havent met rafe yet, our eldest" ward syas as i take a seat next to him "oh weve met dad" rafe answers as he smiles at me

"good, youll be showing her around school next week, ive already arranged it and youll have all the same classes. I want her to feel welcomed in this town rafe, her father is an important man and were proud to be helping the Morales's" ward explains.

shit i completly forgot about school. high school. senior year. New people, rich pricks and bitchy girls. I am so not ready.

"we still on for today?' i ask sarah as we eat our pancakes. "yes!' she says excitedly

"whats today" rafe asks

sarah rolls her eyes and i can sense the tension between the two, they do not like each other thats for sure

"im showing avery around the island and introducing her to some friends." sarah says

rafe scoffs "you call those dirty pouges friends" he says crossing his arms over his chest "i dont know why you hangout with them sarah" he snaps at her "because their good people rafe, something you dont know how to be" she slightly yells "kids!' ward warns. they both grumble as rafe pushes his seat back and storms off, breakfast barely touched. wheezie sits there like nothing just happened and sips her juice. shit this family is a little crazy, theres definatly more to their story.

After breakfast me and sarah head into town on some bikes, its not a long ride and we reach a restaurant type of building. "kie" sarah says as she walks up to a tan skinned girl with curly hair whose smile lights up the whole room "this isavery, shes staying with us for a while" there it is again, a while, i sure hope not. "nice to meet you" i say extending my hand, kie pushing it away and brings me in to a tight bear hug, i do not like being touched but i let it slide its oddly comforting. "im kie or kiara" she explains.

we spend some time chatting and kie explains that this restaurant is her parents and she helps run it. we get to know each other a little more and then sarah decides to introduce me to the rest of her gang.

we pull up to a cheatue house in kies car and exit. "hey, wasss up kook queen" a boys voice beams as he brings sarah in to a tight hug. hes cute, in a boy next door kind of way, his features are pretty and its not my type but his charming personality is interesting, ingiging almsot. "Im JJ" he bows to me and takes a hand kissing the top of it "Avery" i giggle at his antics and he winks. "this is John B and Pope" sarah says as we walk up furtuer to the house and there are two boys sitting drinking beers. "sup" they say as i walk up.

"so what brings you to a shithole like this" John B asks, he has his arm around sarah, they are clearly cozy. "Im orginially from California, a small town Nevada City, my dad opened one of the banks there and its gradually increased and become nationwide so we moved here for business purposes but im staying with the camerons until my parents settle some business back in cali" i explain

"so your a kook? shame" jj speaks my eyebrows scrunch as i look at sarah "whats a kook?" i ask. they all laugh as if im some stupid little girl, "a kook is those who live on the fancy side of town, hangout at the country club and spend daddys money, like rafe" he looks over to sarah "no offense, princess" "none taken" she laughs as she drinks her beer. "and pouges" pope speaks up, finally, "are us. the low lifes, who have to work two jobs to have a stable life and survive" he says. the group goes quiet and its odd. they have names for the groups in the town, it all seems like its straight out a movie and theres a rivalry between the two, its obvious. the way jj described the kooks with such hatred.

"but stick with us baby girl and well teach you the right way" jj says slinging an arm around me and dangling a beer in front of me

for the third time, i do not like being touched, but theres a calming in his presence, its not like rafe who excites and frightens me at the same time.

"count me in!" i beam as i take the beer from him and crack it open. tilting my head back and gulping down the liquid "thats it! woo!" jj shouts as he stands up and does the tarzan pose and hits his chest "P4L" they all chant as jj down his beer.

the rest of the day was spent with the pouges as they call themselves and me and and sarah go back home towards the evening

"did you two have fun" rafe asks as we pass him outside. hes leaning on the door frame with a smug smirk on his face "dont start rafe" she says as she walks past him "i told dad about your little adventure today, hes not happy" rafe says smiling as he eyes me down "really rafe, your such a dick" sarah pouts as she runs inside. he eyes me one more time before walking past me and inside

i dont know what it is about rafe but he intriging, its like something is pulling me in towards him. the way he stares at me makes my knees weak and my hurt beat faster. i realize the shampoo i use is his as his smells wafts off him when he walks by "oh by the way Avery, i like when you use my shampoo. it smells good on you" he stops in the doorway behind me and takes a deep inhale of my black locks

what am i gonna do with him, hes very straight forward and my body craves him in a way that ive never experienced, its dangerous and exhilarating all in one.

i head back to my room and pass by the study, i hear ward an sarah arguing. "this i important sarah! you cant ruin this for us. this is business and taking her on the cut can put her in serious danger. stop hanging out with those dirty pogues and get your head out of the gutter!" ward shouts "whatever dad, theyll always be mor of a family then you, and maybe she fits in with us!" sarah shouts back then theres a slam of the front door and sarahs gone

i take a deep breath as i head back up the stairs and into my room. what does he mean i could get hurt? what is nobody telling me? where are my parents and what the fuck is going on?

@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @eventualoptimism @drewstarkeysbae @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx

[linalavender]

How Tatsuki Fujimoto writes Affection

First of all I would like to give massive credit to Tiktok user @campaign_baby for their Tiktok I saw on this that really made me think of it alot more

I will Bring up Examples from:

Shikaku

Mermaid Rhapsody

Goodbye Eri

Fire Punch

Chainsaw Man Part 1 (Quite a big spoiler in this will give fair warning)

Fujimoto has a sort of strange method he uses to write that a character Loves/cares deeply for someone. And its The character either being willing to be consumed or to provide sustenance to someone, Or to consume the other person. Examples:

Shikaku

After Shikaku confesses her love for Yucel, He rushes to the hospital to offer her his blood, Making her into an immortal vampire just like him. Yucel has also fallen for Shikaku, its basically his confession of love, He wants to live with her Forever.

Its drawn in a way you can tell its such an act of compassion too.

Mermaid Rhapsody

"I loved her so much that I thought, If it was by someone with a smile as pretty as hers, Maybe being eaten wouldn't be so bad."

Toshihides Dad feels the exact same way about his Mom as Toshihide feels about Shijyu. Mermaids eat humans, But that never mattered to either of them.

Goodbye Eri

In Yuutas Movie about Eri, He writes her to be a Vampire, because he wouldnt actually mind to be her sustenance, In his movie, he loves Eri so much. (I genuinely cant read this fucking story without sobbing, Rereading it again just to get this screengrab just made me cry for like 20 min help)

Fire Punch

This one is Pretty straight forward, Agni with his regenerative powers feeds his village by continuously chopping of his Arm so they dont all starve to death. But more importantly he does this to prevent his sister from doing it aswell. He doesnt want her to suffer that pain so he takes sole responsibility for providing himself to the village.

Agni also later feeds his followers with the help of Togata Chopping of the part of his face that isnt on Fire. I think this has more todo with making sure Togata gets fed rather than his followers, To Agni Togata means alot.

⚠️Chainsaw Man Part 1 (Spoilers for the Final arc)⚠️

When Power is about to Die, Power not only offers her own blood For Denji to Drink so he can get back to health, But Pochita also offers a small part of himself so she can come back as a Powerful Devil.

And ofcourse the big one is Denji Eating Makima. He obviously has to and all for the sake of erasing her. But he explicitly says it wasnt an Attack, It was an act of Love.

Its such a fascinating thing that the idea of consuming someone can be concidered something you do to a cherished one, as an affectionate thing. I guess as Denji mentions that you basically become one with eachother in a way if you consume them.

But this is such a Weird thing Right? Where does this idea even originate from? Well ofcourse we can only Speculate but I really think he took on inspiration from his own life here, Because he has actually done this to someone he loved. Yes, Seriously.

Tatsuki Fujimoto eating his deceased Pet Fish

In the Authors notes for "Tatsuki Fujimoto Before Chainsaw Man: 22-26" Fujimoto shares a story from when he was 24:

"Even though we were poor, we had a pet Japanese rice fish. I found it dead one summer. I went to toss its body into the trash like in Parasyte, but my girlfriend said she wanted me to bury it, So off I went to the park, alone. I tried to bury it under this big tree, but the ground was too hard, my hands got all dirty and I had no hole to show for my effort. Out of Options, I figured I would pretend I had buried the fish and left it lying there on top of the ground. As I watched it for a little while, ants found the body and began to carry it away. Im not sure what came over me, but in that moment, love for that pet fish welled within me for the first time. I brushed the ants away, and then Ate it."

You can read the full story here

It has that "Wait what the hell am I reading" Charm to the story like alot of his works, But theres something so weirdly beautiful about this story, Somehow stricken with grief and love for this fish, He ate it. As Denji says, its not an attack, his fish is part of him now and its an act of love. So strange, yet so Beautiful.

Anyways thanks for reading this insanely long post if you even got this far I appreciate it!

[bpdfox]

Vent/thought dump I wrote a month ago. It's long and disjointed and I was also high when I wrote it. Figured I'd put it here, this is sorta where my head has been lately.

Am I nothing more than a mirror??

I don't know how to even get my thoughts out. I'm so… isolated.

I've felt a profound sense of isolation and separateness since I was born. Like literally.

Sitting there picking holes in my leg, pulling the hairs out so I know I can feel.

I can only think clearly when I'm tearing myself apart.

HOW CAN I GET WHATS INSIDE OF MY HEAD OUT?

Even today during therapy my therapist just sort of

I NEED TO BE SEEN.

She just sort of like. Had a lot of stuff she needed to process with all of the church shit and all of the fucking bullshit going on with that

I'm not worth it unless I can provide a service to someone else

I cannot connect

I don’t know if I'm capable of connecting and that scares me. That terrifies me. I can't imagine going the rest of my life feeling this way. I don't think I can. I can't.

I feel so small when I'm on these, everything is tall and towering above me

I feel inferior, threatened, judged when I'm around my younger brother. Even he is rejecting me? I've been asking him to play some games with me for weeks and he wont and I feel so fucking stupid trying to

Its' like im a kid trying to tell my dad that my goat is dying in the shed but he's too busy working

I CANNOT CONNECT

When my aunt was trying to use her fucking 'healing' bullshit on me and she was sitting there holding my arms and telling me what she thought was going on in my brain, that I was having such a hard time, blah blah. She was telling me exactly what was going on in her brain. She was using me as a reflection.

I'm' not your fukcing passion project

People only come to me when they need something from me

I'm a project, a side project, a 'once-in-a-while' hobby that maybe they’ll return to when they get bored

I'm so alone. I'm always alone.

I've felt this way since I was a kid

Even in my old friend gorups I was always the odd one out, people would cycle through me and talk to me if they

I AM NOT ENOUGH

IM NOT WORTHY OF CONNECTING WITH

I AM NOT WORTH CONNECTING TO

WHY

I was ripped out of my mother's womb and isolating was the only way I survived

I had to be in a stupid fucking box, incubating me, with the stupid fucking earmuffs that made everything louder, and I WAS ALONE

I WAS ALONE

I WAS ALONE

My mom is only talking to me about my brother

My brother is a fucking homophobic asshole and it makes me so sad and scared and upset and mad that my mom wants him to feel supported

I'm leaving my feet behind always, I'm forgetting them

My legs don't feel like a part of me, I don't feel like a part of my body. Is this what people mean by out of body experience

Even my therapist

Idont thinki can fucking do this

Im a leech, im a leech im a leech im a leech im a leech and im alone

And that's how I'll always be

My brother is going to his fucking stupid homophobic transphobic stupid fucking religious cunt ass fucking school and

I HOPE OAKS DIES, I REALLY DO. I REALLY FUCKING DO

I HOPE HE CHOKES ON A FUCKING FORK, I HOPE IT GETS WEDGED IN HIS FUCKING ESOPHAGUS AND HE ASPHIXIATES ON HIS OWN FUCKING BLOOD

I'm not worth connecting to

I cant get anything out and that scares me so bad

Because nobody understands unless I can get it out but I fucking cant I fucking cant

All I am is disgusting, gross, unloved

I'm only loved if I meet the conditions, if I meet the criteria. I can't do taxidermy in the barn but my brother can tan a rabbit hide inside the house?

I'm a hazard an inconvenience. I didn’t want to eat what the rest of the family wanted but that didn't matter. I'm a scavenger, I have to pick from what's left and hope I can make it through the night.

I'm disgusting I have mental fleas I'm always itchy and crawling and I can never fucking get comfortable, never get comfortable, I'm so tense all the time, I cant get to sleep because I cant get comfortable, I'm not meant to be in my fucking body

I think everyone can see it and that's

All I am is a hole

Is this all there is?

I noticed a new spot on my scalp, scab scab scab. Ipicked it. Why do I evne bother trying to not pick. Who am I fucking doing it for.

Im so fucking alone. I think im fucking cursed like genuinely. I cannot fucking connect. No matter how hard I try. And so I isolate and I sabotage myself

I'm fucking disgusting im not worth taking care of im not wroth anything. Im not worth anything. Im not worth anything. I'm a leech im a leech im a leech I'm a scab I'm a fucking useless piece of shit. EVERYONE CAN FUCKING SEE IT. EVERYONE CAN FUCKING SEE IT. And that's why im alone and that’s why that willn ever fukcing change

I try to show my photography and I just get a

Its no wonder I started fukcing drinking I cannot handle it. I cant handle it.

I have been drowning and alone since I was born at 28 weeks old. And nobody fucking cares. And nobody fucking sees. All I am is a mirror.

I don’t have a fucking personality I just cling to whoever I hope will give me approval and I don’t even pay attention to whether I'm liking whatever the fuck it is, all that matters is that they're having a good time

I can't keep doing this but I don’t think I can stop. I was programmed this way and this is all I know how to do and it's going to fucking kill me. It is going to fucking kill me.

I'm running myslef over again and again I'm the coyote that wasn't fast enough and I'm the car that didn't stop. I'm the road that wasn't takencare of and the guts that spilled across it and the dying breath of the animail terrified alone and that's all that I will ever fucking be. Only here for the bugs. I'm carrion. I'm already dead and im wasting away and everybody can see it and nobody will ever love me because once they see past the mirror all that's left is the fucking pit. The hole the empty the nothing.

I have to be funny because then maybe if im lucky they’ll want to stick around but I don’t thinkanybody really does. I'm always terrified that they will leave. They are going to leave me when they realize how useless you are.

Myeyes hurt.

I havent cried like that in so long. It gets stuck inside me and it's like congested. I'm congested and I cant get anything out and im ALONE AND NOBODY CARES AND NOBODY SEES

I CANT FUCKING DO THIS. I CANT FUCKING DO THIS.

IF I DON’T G

I CANT DO THIS

I AM

It's all loss IT'S ALL LOSS. ALWAYS. REJECTION REJECTION REJECTION

I CANNOT

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GO ON HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP GOING LIKE THIS.

MY BROTHER HAS FRIENDS MY SISTER HAS FRIENDS

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ME??

I'M ROTTING. I'M NOTHING. I'M WASTING AWAY HERE AND IM USELESS.

I cannot

I'm really struglging with how alone I am. How alone I am. How alone I am

Christ.

Something broke insidwe of me but theres nbody there to witness it

Ive been out to them for ten fucking years. And they still misgender me. They don’t bother to get it right. I don’t know if my sister's husband even knows im nonbinary

I'm not fucking worth the effort. Im not worth the effort. WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN TRYING

I'm howling alone and im hoping to hear a response but it's only mirrored

Nobody will ever respond

And even if they did I don’t know if it could reach me truly. Im in a fucking bubble. Im a specimen under glass for inspection and reflection and to look at when things get boring but I always endup back on the shelf.

Went through everyone in thefamily except for me . Left me out of the speech.

All im good for is to consume

I can only think clearly when I'm hurting myself

Picking myself apart

I'm going to be alone. Christ im going to be alone.

I don’t understand it and im struglging to keep up

I can feel myself closing up again. Goodbye.

The doors are closing again.

[stealing-the-smp]

Member 11

The Abandoned

Chord

Lives by the end: Revived 1

Alignment: Chaotic good

Sides: Lmanburg, Pogtopia, Exile, Greater Smp

Age: 16 at the beginning 21 by the end

Species: Avian / Trait Demon

Gender: Male

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality: Bi

Morals: at this point morals have failed him but he’s usually a follower more then a leader so relies on others morals usually

Goals: Take down Asphodel

Likes: Spiders, Moths, Bugs, His bunker, Being safe

Dislikes: Asphodel, Being abandoned,

Allies: he’s got trust issues at this point but trusts Astin, Vian, Dixie, and slightly Bee then others less like Franklin and Sam Nook

Enemies: Asphodel, Shep

Family: Castiel(dad), Foxglove(mom), Vian(big brother), Cas(nephew), Saylor(adopted son)

Appearance: Chord has longish blonde hair with a white streak that’s sometimes it’s braided by Bee and blue eyes and he has small wings that can’t fly and he eventually grows red horns for some reason and a demon tail despite how he’s not a demon the world just changed him to reflect how he sees himself and he also usually wears a red shirt with grey sleeves

Quotes:

“Viannnnnn where are we goinggggggg?”

“Huh?”

“Oh hi person in a box what’s your name?”

“Oh then you’re interests?”

“You’re name is Bee then!”

“Come on!”

“Viannnnnnn we’re hungryyyyy”

“YIPPEEEEEE trail mix!”

“Want the pretzels Bee? I like the marshmallows and Vian will eat the nuts”

“Oh a town!”

“Bee pssst the Asphodel person is uglyyyyy”

“Hey!” after getting elbowed by Vian about the previous comment

“It needs to sound more British! Lmanburg! The L helps!”

“Look what I found! Discs!!!”

“Vian you sure fighting with help?”

“Bee there’s a bakery In Lmanburg now! We should go get cakepops!”

“Hydrangeaaaaaa do we have to payyyyy?”

“Bee grab cakepops and RUN” *runs while giggling*

“Yum! We split our spoils in half!”

“Vian can you get me unbanned from the bakery?”

“Asphodel just like leave us the fuck alone!!”

“That’s gonna scar….”

“Vian when will this war be over?”

“Oh! That’s great! Vian Mahogany has a idea!”

“That went welllllll” /sarcasm

“We can definitely win this Vian!”

“but this is our home….”

“Vian I’m hungry…..and cold and tired….”

“Vian where are we even going…”

“Oh! Yeah this’ll work! We’ll totally not freeze or starve in a underground city” /sarc

“I’m calling our future grave Pogtopia at least….”

“Oh! Fuck! Bee are you ok? I’ll grab you some bandages!”

“And here we go into the shopping cart then I’ll sit here and we can chat for a while”

“I’m glad we can stay friends on opposite sides”

“Vian what are these droppers for?”

“VIAN, MAHOGANY GET A ROOM….I know you’re in Vian’s room but you’re arguing is too loud I can’t sleep….”

“Bee I’m getting tired….you look tired too….”

“Heyyyyy Aloe can I borrow some bandages? Thank you!”

“Vian I’m starting to wonder what you’re planning….”

“Don’t tell me then…..”

“VIAN NO NO NO DONT LEAVE ME HERE ALONE”

“I guess I’ll just manage this alone….”

“Manburg festival huh? I guess I’ll go…”

“BEE shit shit man your face….what do I do….”

“IM NOT LEAVING MY BEST FRIEND HERE ASSHOLE YOU BLEW UP HIS FACE”

“OW fine fine fine I’m going….”

“I’m hungry myself……”

“Exiled alone…..”

“Maybe if I talk to myself I can keep sane…actually I think that makes me less sane……”

“Huh what was that?”

“Vian? Oh hey! You look different more blue….”

“you are different but uh sit beside me I’ll protect you like you use to protect me”

“Is it just my paranoia or are we being watched Ghostan?”

“Nope it’s not paranoia!”

“Uhhhhh I’m Chord”

“Oh if I could have anything I’d have my freedom….or just some bedrock in all honesty that would be pog to own imagine if I just put it in the middle of someone’s build to annoy them!”

“Why are you here Asphodel?”

“fine you can come by occasionally….”

“do i have to get rid of my belongings?”

“OW GOT IT”

“Thank you Dixie….you’re the closest thing to a person I got….”

“Bee why have you still not searched for me? I saw Shep died in chat weeks ago!”

“Oh don’t worry Dixie I was just talking to myself…..”

“Dixie do you know why Ghostan is different?…..that makes zero sense but ok….”

“I’ll just ignore whatever you said Dixie don’t worry don’t worry!”

“Asphodel please I need more rest”

“It’s my 18th birthday and I’m all alone….”

“CAN I SLEEP IN ON MY BIRTHDAY ASPHODEL?”

“ow sorry shouldn’t have yelled sorry sorry”

“thanks for my only present Ghostan blue dye is good…”

“how long will I be here?”

“where’s Dixie gone? I’m lonely without her….”

“I’m just lonely…..”

“I’m so hungry……”

“I’m tired…”

“what if I left?”

“Home is this way I’m pretty sure…..”

“I think I’m lost……”

“Dad!!! I need help….”

“Thanks for letting me stay dad….I’m going to my room…”

“this house feels so empty…..”

“I feel so empty……”

“I’ll head back to the main area in around two weeks maybe I’ll be less alone there?”

“I really need to stop talking to myself…..”

“I’m taking dinner to my room”

“Oh hey Hydrangea”

“A meeting? Am I allowed?…..fine I’ll just sit here…”

“Dad why did you stab Vian?”

“YOU COULD’VE JUST SAVED HIM”

“HYDRANGEA STAY OUT OF THIS”

“IM LEAVING”

“Ughhhhhh I’m alone and talking to myself again”

“It’s cold out here…..”

“I need somewhere to stay…..”

“oh god I’m growing horns….uhhhh what did Bee use to do? Fluff up hair? ok that didn’t work I’m just gonna ignore it…”

“Oh hey Astin”

“how have you been?”

“ok weird question can I stay at your house for the night? I’m tired….”

“Thank you man!”

“Tell me when I can pet Champ I wanna give scratchies but I know he’s working currently”

“I can finally lay down relax a bit”

“Okay! Champ come here you’re getting scritchies!”

“Astin I adore your dog seriously man he’s so sweet”

“I should go fix up my old house tomorrow”

“Oh thanks for the blocks Astin”

“you’ve actually helped so uh thank you genuinely”

“Yeah I’ll keep you updated on my situation keep me updated too man and you’re always welcome at my house”

“I should make most of this underground it’ll be safer”

“I could add a braille greeting at the beginning of the the stairs to the bunker so I can have a greeting for Astin….I’ll just learn braille it’ll be helpful anyways!”

“Bee you’re really showing up now?”

“Just leave I don’t want to talk currently”

“I don’t care that Manburg is gone go find somewhere else to stay I only have one cot”

“oh god my horns are bigger….and I have a fucking tail…”

“Astin Bee showed up today I feel bad but he left me out there!”

“why do you have the best advice Astin?”

“Bee I’m sorry I acted out of line just because you left me I shouldn’t leave you man”

“Oh! Wow you did well really quickly….a mansion wow…”

“I’m so unlucky compared to everyone ughhhh”

“Huh?”

“Hey little spider uhhhh you’re alone uh I shouldn’t leave you here”

“Up we go!”

“Now to my house uhhhhh Saylor fits you lil guy”

“Ow Saylor don’t spike me with your hairs”

“Oh! Hey Astin! I picked up a kid be wary his hairs can injure you he’s a smart little guy”

“He’s a spider Astin”

“I’m glad you’re just accepting this now I want cuddles come on to my cot!”

“Yeah I’ve been a little better Saylor being around really helps gives me a purpose….”

“It’s been awfully calm currently…..it’s kind of nice”

“Bee how are you married with a son? Man what? Also let me meet your son!”

“Astin I need to marry you so Bee doesn’t leave me behind with what place he’s at in life don’t worry I’ll tell no one who you are”

“that worked surprisingly well…Astin why did you have rings on yourself? Eh I guess we were just lucky for your pocket junk”

“Bee I’m calling your husband Enderboob!”

“He didn’t argue so hey Enderboob!”

“Don’t worry I won’t call you it around your kid”

“Heyyyyy Mac awwww you’re adorable! Like Saylor”

“yeah I have a kid as well…did no one know that?”

“I have a husband too but you’ll never know who Bee”

“Hehehe you’ll never knowwwww”

“That went well”

“Astin you’re joining a county made by Franklin? actually you’ll probably only understand once you experience it he’s nice just might make dumb decisions”

“Oh hi Raccoon Robot guy! Do you got a name?”

“Oh well You’re like Tom Nook from animal crossing but you’re also like Sam hmmmm can I call you Sam Nook?”

“Ok Sam Nook uh could you help me build this?”

“Thank you!”

“Astin I think I made friends with a robot”

“What are these red things?”

“Astin do you want to stay with me for the night? with Whiterose acting weird and stuff?”

“At least we can cuddle!”

“I’ll investigate it for you ok Astin?”

“Oh shit shit shit Bee why are we both investigating this? We’re both gonna die!!!”

“Sam Nook? Uh thanks bud”

“Oh shit he’s broken!”

“Nook stay with us….please Bee fix him or something!”

“Sam? Why are you here? Please don’t take him”

“if you’re sure you know how to get him fixed”

“Astin your coworker at Las Nevadas took my robot”

“Also I hate to tell you but Whiterose might be being mind controlled….he also didn’t look right….”

“Astin do you mind if I don’t get involved in the cult situation anymore? I just can’t I’m too afraid….thank you if you do need something tell me though”

“Saylor we get some papa son bonding time okay?”

“Astin you ok? Heard the red banquet was shit”

“That’s a interesting death message Slime?….I’m going to not ask Astin about it in all honesty”

“Asphodel wants me to visit him in prison? I don’t trust this but why the fuck not”

“Hey Asphodel I was allowed to-ow fuck man-potatoes hur-SS-"

“Vian? You’re back!!!!”

“Fuck yeah Vian!”

“Vian can we leave?….thank you”

“Vian you’re acting weird?….”

“why do you always push down my concern?”

“I’ll see you later….hopefully….”

“I guess i now have a white steak of hair ugh I thought my greys were my only issue”

“wait what? Those alarms oh no no not that”

“Saylor we’re no longer leaving the house for now and I’m putting up walls”

“I’m so tired”

“Wait Astin lost a life? I’m texting him”

“Astin come over please”

“Astin! Here let me lead you my bunker is a mess you might trip”

“So Astin I need to know how you died im worried and I-I l-love you so I wanna know”

“Next time just rant to me before doing anything drastic….or living in a cave….and I’ll do the same okay?”

“I love you Astin uhhh mwah…..I can’t believe how long we’ve been married without kissing”

“Now to solve the Asphodel situation….Bee do you still have the nukes?”

“I’m going to text Astin about if this is a good idea or not”

“Astin is this a good idea?”

“oh the idea is nuking Asphodel”

That’s where I’m cutting us off for now :3 because I’ve over done it tbh

This character is replacing

Tommy

[xfriki26]

Sal fic!!!

It's been a while since I last wrote something and I'm embarrassed that the first thing I've been able to write its an extremly self indulgent ficlet of an OC but I'm happy with how it turned out. And I had so much fun making it so im posting it anyways

Sidenote: Sal refers to the cult as "their family"

Rags to riches

Sal loved making dolls.

They already had a liking for designing and sewing, so nothing felt better than creating their own little friends.

Especially when it helped fix people up.

Normally they wouldn't spend so much time creating a single doll, they were content using their own Happy Fellas as vessels, but this one was special.

After all, the little girl had been through a lot.

Sal didn't know exactly what had happened, but they heard that their family had sent that brute of Ignacio to… teach a lesson to an overly curious policeman.

They had heard that killing the girl had been embarrassingly easy.

The worst thing was that the stupid cop was still continuing with his absurd investigation, as if it hadn't cost his own daughter’s life.

Some people didn't deserve to be parents.

Sal pushed all those negative thoughts out of their head and focused on their project, comparing it to the photo they had gotten. They wanted a different look (after all, they were going to give her a new life) but familiar enough so that she wouldn't be scared (most of the time people reacted with unwanted panic attacks to the fabric bodies.)

Cutting the last thread, Sal stopped to look at the result. It was a little angel-like rag doll, with a pair of blue buttons for eyes and an adorable golden braid. Sal smiled, it was perfect.

- - -

A few minutes later, Sal was at the cemetery.

It was completely empty, which made sense, it was past twelve and no guards would be checking in for a few hours. Sal was alone.

Sal looked carefully at each grave as they walked through the cemetery. It didn't take long for them to find what they were looking for. A small, remarkably recent grave with the name "Hope" carved into the stone.

Sal sat quietly and opened the box they had brought the doll in and then carefully placed it on the grave.

For a few seconds nothing happened, Sal just stared at the doll, watching for any movement.

Then something changed, a small glow appeared in the little doll's button eyes, no one would notice something so small, but Sal smiled at the subtle change.

The rest of the doll started to move too. It started as a slight tremor that soon made the doll raise its small arms to touch its head. Its previously smiling face turned into a scared one.

She immediately noticed Sal. “Who…” she asked in a small, frightened voice. “Who are you?”

Sal smiled fondly. “I’m your new friend.”

Their answer didn’t seem to calm down the little girl. “Where are Mom and Dad?”

Sal sighed, expecting her to ask about them. ““They’re gone.”

“W-What?”

“They have abandoned you, they have forgotten you,” Sal said softly.

“N-No!” she cried. “Mom and Dad would never abandon me! They would never leave me alone! You’re lying! They would never… never…”

She started to shake again, if she could, she would also have started crying.

“Poor girl.” Sal opened their arms. “Come here.”

Very slowly, the girl moved closer to Sal until she was wrapped in their arms, resting her head on their shoulder. 

“I know how you feel,” Sal said, holding her carefully. “They left too when I was like you.” Sal still remembered it like it was yesterday. They told them they would come back for them, and Sal believed them. They spent the next years waiting in front of the door, waiting for them to come back. The feeling of the kid tightening her hold on them brought them out of the dark memory. “But I met someone wonderful, someone who opened my eyes and allowed me to join his family. That’s why I’m here.”

“I can take you with me.” Sal said with a smile. “And give you a family that will never let you down.”

A hopeful look appeared on her soft face. “Can you take me with you?”

“Of course, darling! I'm not cruel enough to abandon anyone in a place like this.”

A smile crossed her sewn lips. “Thank you, uh…”

“Call me Sal, sweetheart.” Sal said with a giggle. “And what’s your name?”

The girl hesitated for a moment before answering, “Hope.”

So she remembered her name? What a shame, Sal had hoped they could give her a new name, but well, she had surely forgotten other things that Sal could help with.

“Well, Hope, let’s not waste any more time then.” Sal stood up with Hope in their arms and walked towards the exit of the cemetery.

“Let’s go home.”

[osatokun]

I'd love to know more about Glinda and her relationship with Gale!

she is a character,an npc from the vampire the masquerade ttrpg I'm playing. Lover (and now wife) of my OC. I just love her so much, a perfect woman. So I took her and started to play BG as Glinda. I'm lucky too meet another Glinda near Baldur's Gate, this name doesn't sound that weird when there are another Glindas around..

Gale is very, very similar to my OC in character ( but much younger) so naturally Glinda the tiefling fell for him. Just her type, a soft loving soul yearning for comfort.

Glinda-Sophia Dequir, the tiefling, has a very silly lore, because..why not,she's gonna be a saviour of the Baldur's Gate. She is a strong sorcerer with..not a food ability to control her powers, wild magic is making wild stuff. She was born near Baldur's gate in a small village for sure. Her parents died when she was maybe 11 or so, and she almost burned down the entire village unable to control her emotions, probably accidently summoned a fire creature of some sorts. Elemental or even a young tiny dragon (silly, yes, I'm bad at dnd lore.but her original vtm lore connected to the dragon, thats where she got her big scar on the chest originally. Plus I only played in Chult campaign and I have absolutely bo idea what's happening here on that sword coast)

Anyway,she ran away, but Elminster found her and, well, raised her. I told you I have stupid story?I do, yes. He mostly taught her how to control her emotions better, her magic better, how to look deeper in things and seek for the truth. Most of the time he had no idea who he is, he was jurs El, a funny old man, cheese lover. She knows a lot about cheese, yes. In the end, he is so freakin old, he could have a few spare years to raise a wild kid. But the most important thing, he helped her to steel her will. She is a determined iron villing disaster now.

Having this story in mind, I find it satisfying to be grumpy to Elminster. She is like, wtf dad, Mystra hurts people, all the time , and she wants to hurt the man I love, Im gonna fight her with my bare fists.

At the time she was stolen by ilithids she ..probably had a little business of her own, a tiny potions shop or something, having pretty calm life.

What else can I get from my vision of the character.

She has zero shame, she is still very curious, sometimes its for the bad. She is studying necromancy (a bit..necromancy of Thay was very calling for her) . When Gale is trying to catch the whole picture, see all the situation, she points to the smaller things. Sometimes it helps her not to get lost, sometimes it helps him.

She is extremely monogamous, and not ready to share her love and bed with strangers, she need to trust person frist to get them into her life. But she fell very quick for Gale because ..well, in the horrors they all were dropped in, first thing he promised is to make a good meal. In the very beginning. Local man falls from the sky and offers you a home made food? He is my husband now.

Plus he differs a lot from other companions. All of them used to the fights, even she herself fought creatures in the local woods. And he is just a wizard in distress, wanting to go back to his cat and cozy tower. A lot of knowledge in his head, not that much blood on his hands. He brought her some comfort she needed to stay strong and believe in finding a way to cure.

For the relationships they have.. mostly comforting and loving? that's pretty generic, he is a very comforting character after all. She keeps him closer to the earth, becoming a God sounds like a destruction of one already so perfect adorkable human being. I picture him as a person who keeps his personal encounters very private, doesn't like to show even too much skin to the others and generally liking to share time alone with his lover, be it a talk or a date. Better go to the Weave and talk to eachother without anyone's hearing, or more x) it's hard to get personal space while traveling..

Glinda on other hand is absolutely fine with disturbing personal spaces, but she is doing her best to hold herself in her hands. She is..imagine a person who acts like a cat sometimes. I'm sure even her tail is twitching and wagging when she's angry. But she is being very respective for his comfort. Thats why Im happy they got to Baldurs gate and finally got a room for themselves x.x

What else can I say.. hm..

She is 30 something years old,maybe 34 or so. Likes stupid books a bit too much. Oh she laughed so hard when they found "Elminster library" and the erotic books about Volo,El and faeries.

she adores his level of awkwardness just as he adores hers. And she'll punch in the face everyone who hurts her man (respectfully acknowledging aloud that he can take care of himself, but she also want to take care herself.)

She probably has fur on tips of her ears and loves head scratches. Not the inside ones tho..

[sleepy-achilles]

The Family of Destruction- Crashes

My sister and I were talking about the likely hood of me getting into a motorcycle crash after I admitted I'm going to learn to drive a car then a bike. And well two of the family of destruction ride bikes so yeah.

-----

Taker had to admit he was scared. He had too much to lose now. So as his body was thrown across the stoney road he found himself whispering a little pray to whoever will listen. He's lucky enough to come to a stop against a soft patch of grass. He groans quietly, lifting his head to see his bike wrapped around a tree.

"Fuck.." he groans. As if Shawn needs more of a reason to hate his riding. Taker pulls himself up, he's just got a few scratches and cuts. It definitely could of been worse. He pulls his helmet off, something he never used to wear before shawn. Shawn truly is his guardian angel. He frowns. He cannot call Shawn, shawn will freak. He moves closer to his bike and kicks it lightly. "Yep. That's stuck.." he sighs. He'll have to come back for it when he's got kane. He looks towards the Manor. He was almost home aswell. He can see the lights on. He sighs as he picks his bag up and begins his treck down the road towards home.

-

"Honey, I'm home!" Taker calls. He's immediately greeted by their German shepherd who doesn't jump at him, instead pauses and gives a confused barks. "Weird, I didn't hear your bi...Jesus taker!" Shawn gasps as he walks in. "Im fine..just a few scratches." Taker huffs dropping his scratched and dented helmet and bag. "Come here buddy" he murmurs holding his hands out. Shawn passes the small toddler over and moves to look outside. "Wheres the bike?" Shawn asks as Taker hugs Leon. "Wrapped around a tree. I'll have kane help me get it tomorrow." Taker murmurs. Shawn turns to him shocked. "Taker! A tree!" Shawn gasps. "Metal can be replaced Shawn. It's fine." Taker sighs pulling Shawn into a hug. "This cannot." Taker adds. Leon just stares at his father with a blank face.

He was enjoying his bear shaped cookies when his Papa pulled him away to greet the old man. "Promise me you'll be safer or just never ride alone again" Shawn whispers. "Ill be safer. I promise. Not leaving you two again" Taker murmurs kissing Leon's head before shawns. "Ill get kane to summon you so I can kill you myself" Shawn threatens. Taker chuckles. "Mmm I know. Now, I need a bath..." Taker sighs. "Good, because so does lee" Shawn smirks. "Awe cmon I was on bathing duty last time-" "you just got into a crash and didn't call me, damn right your doing it again!" Shawn scolds. "Fair point baby." Taker winces. "Go, I'll cook dinner" Shawn smiles. Taker just nods and pulls back, his eyes not leaving his young boys face.

--Present--

Leon wasn't happy when it started raining. He was even less happy that it was raining heavily. The weather forecasts said it'd be sunny and it was when him and drew got on the bike. Drew was excited about getting to ride the bike to the arena. Normally they took the bus and Leon used his dad's old entrance bike in the arena. Leon tended to ride the older bikes with drew. But Leon saw a Honda and insisted on buying it at the last show. So the boys have been riding around on it for the past few days.

Leon wouldn't forgive himself if drew got hurt, especially with drew putting all his trust in Leon.

So when the bike starts to shake, Leon swears he can feel his heart race. And then the wheel slips and the bike is falling. Leon can't bring himself to panic as the bike slides away from them, all he can think about is keeping drew safe. So as he turns his head slightly, he spots drew still sliding but going the opposite way. He reaches out quickly, grabbing the other man and pulling him between his legs. Leon let's out a huff as drews helmet his his chest. But he can't bring himself to worry about his own safety, not when he has drew with him. Drews hands are frantic as they grab Leon's legs.

Leon doesn't know if he can stop them safely. Not that it matters, they soon stop when Leon's back crashes into a barrier. Leon gasps as the air is forced from his body and his vision goes black.

He's fucked up this time.

-

"Wheres drew and Leon!" Vince barks. "What do you mean? They should be here" sheamus states. Taker looks up from what hunter is showing him. "Didnt they ride the bus with you lot?" Shawn asks. "No, Leon brought a new bike, they've been riding that everywhere." Cassie states. Takers eyes widen slightly. "Whats the weather?" Hunter asks. "It was sunny when they left, it started raining as we arrived." Sheamus admits. Shawn looks at taker. "Call them both. I'll try connecting to leon" Taker orders. Shawn nods and grabs his phone. Taker closes his eyes and immediately panics. He can't sense either man.

"No.." he whispers.

-

Leon groans quietly. "He-----ok---" a voice cuts in. Leon's hand clench around drews arms as he opens his eyes. A group of people surround them. "D..drew" Leon chokes. "Hes---" the voice keeps cutting out. That's when a car speeds past and Leon's senses kick back in. "Drew" he gasps flipping his cracked visor up. He looks to see drew against him. "Hes breathing" the women above him states. "But you both need to stay still" a man states. "No, I'm fine" Leon groans as he shifts drew to lay down. Leon pulls his helmet off and throws it to the ground, he has to buy a new one anyways. He flips drews visor up, knowing better than to take the mans helmet off. "Drew? Darling?" Leon tries. Drew groans, his eyes moving rapidly behind his eyelids.

"M'kay" drew mutters. "Open your eyes for me" Leon orders softly. Drews eyes slowly open. "You hurt?" Leon asks. "No..no..just winded..." drew huffs. "Does your head hurt?" Leon asks. "No..no" drew sighs sitting up. Leon helps him take his helmet off and begins checking drew over. Drews seems fine and Leon silently thanks whoever made their protective riding gear for that. "Shit lee" drew gasps cupping his head. "What?" Leon asks. His face feels wet but its just rain. "Your bleeding" drew states. Leon glances back at his visor. The massive crack in it. "Is it glass or stone?" Leon asks looking back at drew. "Stone by the looks" drew admits holding Leon's head still.

"Ill be fine. Can't feel it anyways" Leon admits. "Just..try brush it out.." Leon tells him. Drew nods and carefully brushes over the cut with his thumb. The stone falls out after a few tries and drew immediately presses a cloth that one of the civilians handed them against it. Leon frowns. Is he gonna have a stupid eyebrow scar now? Lucky for Leon it was the opposite one to where his already massive scar cut through his eyebrow. "Our phones?" Leon asks. A women hands their bags over. Leon fishes his phone out. Slightly cracked but still working.

Papa is calling.

"Pa?"

"Oh my god, Leon! Your father couldn't feel you! Are you alright?!" Shawn gasps. "Yes papa..just a small accident." Leon sighs resting his free hand on drews bicep. "How bad?" Shawn asks. "Drews fine, just winded and probably gonna bruise like a bitch, same for me, plus a small cut in my eyebrow." Leon answers. "Okay, send me what hosptial you end up in alright? Because you are going to a hosptial." Shawn tells him. "I know.. drew wouldn't have it any other way." Leon chuckles. His eyes land on his bike and whatever he was feeling in his chest, stops.

"Leon?" Shawn asks. "My bike.." he whispers. Drew turns to look and frowns. "Its just metal, that can be replaced, you and drew cannot." Shawn tells him.

"Pa..its wrapped around a tree..."

Shawn looks at taker. Takers eyes widen slightly. "A tree?" Shawn asks. "Yeah...God its gonna cost a fortune to get that back home.." Leon sighs. Taker feels his heart race slightly. "Just..just get yourself to the hosptial. We will meet you there." Shawn tells him. "Alright. Love you Pa." Leon mutters. "Love you too Peach." Shawn sighs as the phone hangs up. "Its just a coincidence.." Shawn tells him. "What?" Cassie asks from sheamus hold. "When Leon was a baby, I got in a bike accident on my way home. My bike ended up wrapped around a tree." Taker explains. He turns his focus to shawn. "When has anything in mine or Leon's life been a coincidence-" "no. You are not doing this. Leon will push people away and him and drew are so damn happy. No." Shawn warns standing up. He looks at cassie. "Stay here and do your match. Me and dad will phone you if anything is more serious than Leon let on" Shawn orders. She nods. "Ill drive you both." Hunter states snatching the keys from Shawn. "Im not letting taker drive, he's bascially in shock and you can barely drive normally never mind in mother hen mode" hunter snaps. "Fine. Cmon" Shawn sighs.

--

Leon is sat, dangling his feet off the edge of a hosptial bed with drew when the trio walk in. "Thank god" Shawn sighs hugging both boys. "Nice stitch" hunter states. "I told them it's pointless, one single stitch." Leon huffs pulling his scratched motocross jacket on. "Its better than bleeding everywhere" drew huffs as he continues doing his boots up. "So what did the doctors say?" Taker asks moving closer. "We might bruise, especially his back. That we are lucky we had such strong gear and that we are luckily not concussed" drew answers.

Taker shocks them all by putting a shakey hand on drews shoulder. "Im glad your both okay. And if either of you pull a stunt like this ever again I'll kill you both" he warns. Drew smiles. "Thanks takes." "Thanks dad.

[beaniebabycryallday-blog]

they only come in the summer

I desperately want to study physics and art and learn everyhting there is to know about it and yet I have to stop myself from learning them now and instead study something that I can get a job with - because while I def can get a job in the arts or with a physics degree, it won't be soemthing that keeps me sustained back at home. I need something that will let me come back home and work here, not live abroad my whole life just so I earn enough. And that means doign a degree im not as excited about, hence why we picked mech eng - at least there's physics in it

It's a controversial thing to say now, to want to stay here at home. everyone who's anyone have been tripping over themselves trying to leave, to escape the depreciating rupee and the disintegrating politics. still, i can't imagine moving away forever. maybe it's because im still young and delusional. but maybe it's because i grew up with 12 cousins, and only saw any of them only once a year when they came to visit for summer. maybe because my parents siblings all moved abroad after getting married, the opportunities there were much better. and we stayed. one of my aunt's moved back home, but it felt like she moved back without her children. all three of them were in uni, i only saw them when they came for summer.

when they did come, we'd all stay at our grandma's house the whole summer, where i had the most fun holidays. it was our favourite place, and we had our favourite memories there. over the years though, any time anyone mentioned that they wanted the house when they grew up, even as a joke, I'd get so angry inside. because yes, it was technically all of their birthrights, but i had spent every weekend of my life at this house, almost every school holiday, learnt to drive here, spent covid here, lived half my life here, and they only came for summer.

another one of my aunt's moved back home, and my oldest cousins stayed here to work, and we now had a small crowd for birthdays. but it's 2023 now, i've grown up, and so have all my cousins. we don't spend weeks at my grandma's house anymore, just a weekend, they can't take time off from from work. my oldest cousins are moving away again, one to canada with her two babies and one to london. my youngest cousins want to work at nasa and F1, and when they do, they'll move away too. their dad takes them to stay with their other grandma, im still alone in the house. they come with everyone else in summer.

my dads been renovating the house since before covid, it's his favourite place to have everyone over for summer. he wants to have my wedding there. maybe we will. but moneys difficult now. covid and economic crisises are not the best time to start your own business, and he never showed it, but he's struggling. he just wants to make the house perfect, but we can't afford it right now. and what if he can't ever? who's going to finish it? that can't be done over a summer.

my cousins may be spread around the whole world, and it may be years before I see some of them, or their kids, but I want to go to our house, and I want to have summers like we did when we were kids. and that can't happen if everyone's gone, so i have to stay. or at least come back. no one's going to look after the house if my dad isn't, and I want to make sure it's always ready with open arms for my cousins. so i have to stay. and to stay i have to study something i dont love, but something just good enough to keep me happy, in the hopes that i'll be happy like i was as a child, when they come for the summer.

[bejordan]

“is this thing on?” JORDAN tapped the black mic that he was holding up near his lips. pretty nervous, but did quite a phenomenal job in hiding it with the playful line.

soon after he completed his introduction to the viewers, he was now standing infront of the kitchen. he made sure the camera was set at an appropriate angle to where he wouldn’t have to move so much. “hello lovely world, please bare with me on my first vlogging experience. uncle jordan is not used to this at all unless it’s me showing some footsteps.” small laughter escaped from his duo soon afterwards before he continued speaking. “in this supposed to be short vlog, i would like to show you guys my new place that is now almost fully furnished. finally right?”

the first space that he wanted to show off was the kitchen. of course the foodie has to start off the video in one of the spaces that keeps him happiest. also the space where he kept himself occupied the most to prevent from becoming lazy. “so this right here that im standing in is my favorite place, the kitchen!” he couldn’t help but to cheese at his corniness. granted, someone would like it just as much as he was waiting to say it. “since staying here i have found myself learning not just old recipes, but new ones as well. thanks to my mom and dad for helping me do so. you guys could also tell my small attempts in making the kitchen pop with some posters i’ve drawn, the colorful utensils and all that jazz. let’s move on to the next space, shall we?"

after about a few minutes, JORDAN decides to show off his proudly decorated bedroom. a room that he did not have to share, able to keep his own peace of mind at times and being able to do whatever he desired. "if you see the many posters that pretty much covers my entire wall at each angle.." he placed his index finger against his lips, pretending that he was shushing the viewers. "wow, could you tell that this guy really likes michael jackson? golly gee."

while joking on himself, he had picked up one of his albums that was gifted to him as a child. he had it displayed on top of his dresser were a few of his plant family were also shown. "aside from having so many mj related things, buying small plants also helped me in figuring out how i wanted my room layout to be. whether it's me coming home from a long day of dance class, being with friends, family or whatever it is, coming home to healthy plants just eases the mind so much. 1000/10, i highly recommended to invest in buying plants if you haven't already." sending two thumbs up towards his camera, he then moved over to his wadrobe. even after cleaning out his wadrobe he still found himself with too much clothes. guess you could say it was a blessing in disguse. "for those that already know me pretty much know what my style consists of. my closet is a little bit messy as of now. so in another video, i promise to give yall a better tour of my other world that is also my closet." chuckling softly as he slid his closet door closed after giving a small preview.

the vlog had now been an hour and 20 minutes long. the camera was now focused on JORDAN sitting on the ground in his living room with a bag of his favorite food nearby. as much as he knew his viewers would've loved him giving a mini mukbag, he did in fact wanted some time alone to be able to edit and eat.

[cerberusseraphim]

1/10/2024, 3 AM - 4 AM

im not entirely sure where to start.

as the first blog post, i feel like i should be organizing this better by giving a run down of my situation, but im not sure i have the full energy to do so. i can try.

im being abused. verbally, but im not unused to other kinds. Mammon is my older brother. i loved him once, but i dont anymore. as a child he raped and beat me, and i was always competing to be loved along side him. i lost, and my father has clearly chosen the son he prefers. im unsure of how this makes me feel anymore.

ever since i was home from the hospital i was apparently being sexually abused by my older sister. im unsure of how i feel about this as well. i guess it makes sense.

my doctor says i have CPTSD i think. i have voices in my head sometimes. used to think i was multiple people. im not unsure im not. i miss the others in my head, they've been really quiet for almost a year. i think they might be scared. i am too. im chronically depressed due to my circumstances and im unsure on how to get out.

i was raised to believe the world was out to get me. ive yet to shake this feeling. i was raised by my father mostly, who is a hyper paranoid man with untreated PTSD. unfortunately this means i get to suffer too. i am an adult, but getting any sort of job means i have to ask permission from my dad. he is unhappy with most jobs i apply for, only telling me he doesnt approve after i get a interview due to him not liking any area we live in as a place to work. we live in an area that has plenty of diversity, so you can imagine what he actually means when he says "these are bad neighborhoods". this is not an unsubstantiated claim, believe me.

i want my family to love me. they will never. i dont know how i feel about this. part of me doesnt care anymore. part of me mourns.

as i write this, im in another tense situation. i live with Mammon and my father. mother is dead, sister ran away to destroy other lives. i live in a one bedroom appartment with both of them. once upon a time, Mammon had a girlfriend who he lived with. she cheated, kicking him out and she keeps my cat due to my cowardly father getting a house that specifically forbids cats for his own ease of getting to work faster. i am heartbroken to be without my cat, but happy he does not live in these conditions.

the tense situation. my bad for going on a tangent.

Mammon is drunk. he is hardly ever not. he is a coward as my father is, he cannot feel his emotions so he drinks them away. it does not work. instead, it shows how much of a cruel animal he is. he is an angry man, and when he wants to drink he does not care who it disrupts. he abuses who he wants, he drinks as much as he wants with what little money he has, he claims he pays all the bills (he does not. father does. he just helps with a hundred or so bucks here and there) and therefore its his right to use me as a punching bag.

he paces the house and mumbles cruel words about me when he thinks i cannot hear. i can. he eavesdrops on my conversations with my friends, and attempts to meddle with my relationships based on the small amount of information he heard. he has lied to my father and has claimed to say terrible things to them- he has done no such thing. he lies to me and says they told him they all hate me and think im pathetic for everything. they do not know my brother, nor want to.

i keep going on side tangents in some attempt to give you context to my situation, im sorry.

Mammon has been drunk almost every night or early morning over the past 5 days. this is not uncommon. it disrupts my sleep schedule, when i try to have one. but last bender he did he grabbed at me- it should be mentioned all of these benders end in verbal abuse. occasionally he leaves me alone, but the anticipation for the abuse kills me just as much. anyway. he grabbed the hood i wore and ripped it off my head, grabbing a bunch of my hair in the process. it hurt. i should have hit him. when he does it again, i swore to myself id really hurt him. like, pick up a chair and beat him type hurt him. i dont want to be a violent person but no one else has beat the shit out of him for his attitude so i suppose i have to one day.

i have scary intrusive thoughts where im forced to kill him. i believe one day he is going to rape me again, then attempt to kill me in the process. i am scared then i will be forced to kill him. im scared i will enjoy it.

i hate Mammon, and i do think ill only feel safe when he one day dies. but i dont want to kill him. i want to hurt him and have him live to remember, but i dont want to kill. i am not capable of taking a life. even his.

i think somewhere inside i still love my big brother. i dont think thats whats stopping me from killing him, i cant kill because i refuse to- that includes killing myself.

anyway. he now wanders around wasting groceries in the kitchen. he tries to cook while drunk. only half of it ends up in the pot, the rest on the floor and walls. the food is only ever edible to him, but nothing else. its a miracle he doesnt puke it up.

the idea of food waste drives me insane. i hate it. he embodies all that i hate.

i wish i could heal from my trauma, ive been ready to begin the healing process. if only my brother would disappear, i could be some sort of healthy again.