#where they had their hub world and you could control your generic character to see the various metaverse exhibits

[akkivee]

Imagine if Kuukou did become a vtuber. We all know Ichiro would be a fan of vtubers. One day, Ichiro is looking around looking for a vtuber to watch, and he finds one who seems familiar? He clicks on it to hear Kuukou's voice and how Kuukou is trying to convince people to donate to him so he can create the metaverse temple. Of course, after that, Ichiro becomes his number one supporter (and some anonymous person who might or might not be Hitoya)

lol kuukou’s vtuber experience trying to get his metaverse hub world up and running will probably go like

‘chat, imma be real with y’all, i don’t know what the hell i’m supposed to do with this’

[avengerscompound]

The Surrogate - Chapter 2

The Surrogate:  A Clintasha Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count:  1746

Rating:  E

Warnings: None

Synopsis:  A freak end of the world incident leads to meeting your two best friends, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.  While your friendship with the two Avengers is anything but conventional, they are your all-time favorite people.  When you find out that Clint and Natasha want to start a family but have exhausted all their options, you realize your powerset might allow you to give them what they want.  Having your best friends’ baby might seem like a good idea on paper, but when you are as close as you, Clint, and Natasha are, will doing something so intimate mean feelings get a little mixed up?

Chapter 2

 “Clint and I just had sex!”   You hadn’t meant to blurt the words out like that and they had almost definitely signed your death warrant, but they’d burst out of you out of your control.  Things had gotten out of control, but in that good way, where your adrenaline had been up and with the alcohol and the way your powers worked, when he’d suggested you both go to the public restroom, you couldn’t think of anything you wanted to do more than that.

Now that you could see that Natasha and Clint were in a relationship, the guilt about being the one Clint had cheated with had made you spill immediately.  Even if it did mean the Black Widow would gut you like a fish.

Natasha Romanoff looked back at you with her head tilted to the side.  “Oh, dorogáya,” she soothed, before turning her attention back to the controls of the jet and taking flight again hovering up away from the bar she’d picked you up from before shooting off away from the city.  She took a moment to smack Clint on the back of the head in between flicking different switches.

“Ow, Nat,” he complained, rubbing the back of his head.  “What was that for?”

“You can’t do that,” she scolded. “You need to tell them what your deal is before you seduce them.”

“Seduce them? Me?”  Clint argued.  “Who am I seducing?  Shit just happened.”

“You know what I mean, durak.  You can’t just sleep with people and not tell them you’ve got a girlfriend,” Natasha snarked.  She tilted her head back and raised her voice so you could hear her better over the jet engines.  “Clint and I are in an open relationship.  I’m sorry he didn’t tell you that first.  He’s an idiot.  But you didn’t cheat on anyone.  I just hope he didn’t lead you on.”

“No,” you assured her.  “I knew it was casual.  But … I wouldn’t have… if you two…”

“It’s fine,” she assured you.  “I promise.  Have as much sex with Clint as you like.  I don't care.”

“Gee, thanks, Nat,” Clint snarked.

“Well you won’t be getting any from me if you’re gonna be an idiot,” Natasha said.  “Might as well see who else is offering.”

“Nat…” Clint whined.

You relaxed back in your jump seat while they argued in that loving way people who were completely comfortable with each other do, glad that for once your libido and need for complete honesty hadn’t gotten you in trouble.  The last thing in the world you wanted was to piss off any of the avengers because you weren’t thinking with your brain.

“It's gonna be a bit of a flight, so just relax and get some sleep if you can,” Natasha called back to you.

You already knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep.  You were running on pure adrenaline now and the jump seat was far from cozy.  You did close your eyes and listen to the engine as Natasha guided the jet back to New York.  Things were about to change for you, you knew that.  Even if the Avengers deemed your powers to be useless to them, things weren’t going to be the same now.  You couldn’t go through life after seeing the end of the world come so close and pretend like you weren’t gifted with something special.  You had to find some way to use it.

By the time the Quinjet touched down at the Avengers Compound you had been up for well over a full day and you were exhausted.  It was that level of exhaustion that went right to the bone.  Each turn of your head caused your vision to go blurry as your brain tried to catch up with what it was processing.  Each time you spoke you found it difficult to modulate your voice.  You were also hyper-aware that you probably smelled terrible too.  You’d been wearing the same clothes since you got up the day before and since you’d put them on you’d been running around the city and you’d had sex in a public restroom at a bar. The thought of any of the Avengers meeting you like this was quite frankly, mortifying.

You followed Natasha and Clint off the jet and they were greeted by Captain America and a tall, brunette woman wearing a grey pencil skirt and a black turtleneck. The exhaustion you felt made it really hard to process the fact that Captain Steve Rogers was less than a yard away from you.  Especially given your current state.  He was always going to remember that when he met you, you were the human embodiment of the living dead.  Smell and all.

“Welcome home,” Steve said.  “This must be the healer.”

“That’s right,” Clint said.

You introduced yourself to Steve and offered him your hand.

“Welcome to the facility.  This is Hill,” he said, indicating to the woman with him.

“Alright, you two go get some rest. We’ll debrief after you’ve slept,” Hill said, scratching something down onto the Stark Pad she was holding.

“See you then!  Totally gonna go and sleep right away, nothing else!”  Clint said, saluting.  Natasha stifled a laugh and the two of them headed off down the corridor.

Hill turned to you and continued tapping away on her tablet.  “You’ll have very limited access to the facility until you’ve been cleared by security.  I’m guessing you might need sleep?  A shower?”

“That would be fantastic,” you agreed.

“Follow me,” she said.  The two of you began to walk in the same direction as Clint and Natasha at a brisk pace.  “The compound is run by an artificial intelligence.  Her name is FRIDAY and she'll let you into the parts of the facility you are allowed in and keep you out of what you're not,” Hill explained as you walked.  “I appreciate that you have come here voluntarily to assist us, but we are still a private military installation, so security is important.  For now, you will be primarily restricted to your room, however, if you need any medical care I can take you to the medbay.”

“No.  I never need that,” you said.

“Oh, right,” Hill said, shaking her head.  “So used to the script.”

“Carry on,” you said with a soft laugh.

“I'm also giving you access to the smaller pool and gym,” Hill continued.  “It's the one used by the administration staff and generally fairly quiet.  Ask FRIDAY.  We would prefer that you go straight to the security clearance and debrief, but we understand after an event like you just experienced you may need to let out some stress.  For this reason, you can have access to any onsite psychiatric services.  We have many therapists on staff.  At some point you will need to speak to one but if you feel you need one sooner than later that can be arranged.”

“Oh… I'm… I think I can wait until after security clearance,” you said.

“If that changes just let FRIDAY know,” Hill replied.  The two of you rounded a corner and then she opened a door that led outside.  It was bright out and there were teams of people in sweats running in formation.

She led you down a path to a large white building with huge windows and an A on the side.  “That building is the main hub, that's where you'll go when you're ready to speak to us.  For now, we're just going to housing,” she continued as you made your way through the facility.  “Barton said you helped him in the field.”

“Yeah, he fell off a building,” you answered.  “I used my powers to heal him so he could get back.”

“That certainly sounds like Clint,” Hill said.  You thought she might have stifled a laugh, but you couldn’t be sure.  “You're okay with us running some tests?”

“Yes, of course,” you answered. “I wouldn't have come…”

“Great,” she said, cutting you off.  “Ideally the run down when you're ready will go, security clearance, debrief and interview, then we’ll run some tests.  But it's up to you how much you can handle.  It's a big adjustment coming here.  It can get a bit much for some people.”

“I’ll be sure to let you know if I'm feeling overwhelmed,” you said as a set of glass doors opened for you, letting you into the accommodation building.  “Getting close to that now.”

“Right, sorry, you must be tired,” Hill said.  “We’re nearly there.”

Your room was on the first floor and Hill opened the door to let you in.  It reminded you of a cheap hotel.  There was a full-sized bed, with gray linens, that offset the grey of the walls.  The walls were unadorned and the only other furniture in the room was a side table, desk, and dresser.

“The bathroom is in here,” Hill said, opening the bathroom door. “There are towels and toiletries.  We're not a hotel though so if there's anything missing or you need anything, and I do mean anything, let FRIDAY know.  She’ll place an order.  Inside the dresser is a Stark Pad.  You can use it to find out what the kitchen is making and have it sent up.  Make sure you eat.  You can also browse the internet.  Please do not post on social media about where you are until your security check.  We’ll know so don't think you can get it by us.  You haven't signed an NDA yet but you will and what you post about will be taken into account when we're deciding if we’ll actually recruit you.  When you're ready to have the security run let FRIDAY know and someone will come and collect you.  If you want to back out, we understand, just let her know that too and we’ll take you home.  Any questions?”

Your head was reeling from the amount of information just dropped on you along with your complete exhaustion.  “Uhh…” You said blinking slowly.

“Right, well if any come up…”

“Ask FRIDAY,” you finished.  “Got it.”

She smiled and closed the tablet.  “I'll leave you to it.  You’ll be fine, kid,” Hill said.  “Just get sleep, eat, and you’ll be part of the team in no time.”

“Thank you,” you said.  “I’ll do that.”

“I'll be seeing you,” she said and left you alone.  You peeled yourself out of the clothes you were wearing, collapsed onto the bed, and were asleep almost immediately.

// NEXT

[dwellordream]

A Six of Crows Review: Joost and Inej I

This marks the beginning of my review of Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. Before I go any further, I want to provide context for my experience/knowledge of the book and its fandom. Six of Crows was published in 2015 when I was 16. I picked it up in a bookstore and read the first few chapters idly while shopping, before putting it back down.

At the time, my dislike of what I’d read was probably primarily fueled by the realization that it was by the same author as Shadow and Bone, which I had tried to read a few years before and disliked, and because at the time I was aging out of the YA genre in general and had very little patience for many of its familiar tropes.

In recent years, Six of Crows and its companion and predecessor series, the Grisha Trilogy, have become one of the most popular YA series online. The avid fan response and promotion of it on social media no doubt led to the Netflix series being greenlit and it is obviously trending at present due to the success of the series. With all that in mind, I’ve decided to try Six of Crows again and see for myself what all the hype is about.

Some more caveats: I am 22 years old. I am aware Six of Crows is YA literature intended for a middle and high school audience. I will not be holding it to the standards I would hold an adult grade fantasy book, in terms of prose, themes, or content. I am aware that I am not necessarily the target audience for the book and these reviews are in no way intended to shame or disparage anyone who enjoys the book.

Criticism is a healthy part of any fandom and does not necessarily constitute hate. I will likely critique elements of the book in my write up. That does not mean I have a personal vendetta against the author, publishers, or the TV show. Please do not take this as a personal attack if you’ve enjoyed the book. This is just intended to promote discussion and to gather my own thoughts.

If you follow me, I am tagging this as ‘in review’ so you know what to block if you don’t want to see my posts on your dash. I will be going through 1-2 chapters per weekend. This weekend I will be looking at the prologue, aka Joost, and the first Inej chapter.

Jumping into things, here is Joost:

The prologue is our introduction to Ketterdam, the setting of Six of Crows. It’s been a very long time since I read Shadow and Bone and so all I really know is that Ketterdam is a city in an island known as Kerch, based off the map. The major countries or kingdoms of the mainland to the east appear to be Fjerda, Ravka, and Shu Han, though it is unclear how they differ from one another at this point.

Ketterdam through Joost’s eyes is a sinister and dreary place, a city under a grimy night sky and full of dangers. Joost works as a hired guard for a very wealthy man named Hoede, who keeps grishas, powerful magic users, as indentured servants. Joost is infatuated with one of them, Anya, a healer, though he knows she is not likely to return his affections and furthermore cannot wed without the permission of her owner. We also learn that grishas are at risk for being kidnapped and sold by slavers due to their value. However, the indentured servant system of Ketterdam thus far doesn’t seem to be much better than slavery, given how little freedom the grisha have.

Overall, the prologue is supposed to give us a sense for the setting of Ketterdam and interest us in the main hook of the novel, which seems to be a mysterious substance that grisha can ingest to heighten their powers for the benefit of their masters, though it has the risks of making them uncontrollable. How well is this done?

Through Joost’s perspective we can glean several things; Ketterdam is a dirty city with rampant income inequality, full of crime and corruption. Magic is an established system within Ketterdam, but the magic users do not seem to be at the type of the hierarchy despite their powers, which suggests they are a minority to the extent of which they can still be controlled by the elite class of non magic users, if they have enough money and power.

It is also very obvious through the references in the prologue that Ketterdam is heavily based off the Netherlands during the Golden Age, which was Amsterdam’s (Ketterdam… Amsterdam… not subtle) economic and cultural boom during the 17th century, aka the 1600s. Notably the world’s first stock exchange began in Amsterdam in 1602, and it was a major port and trading hub for the Dutch East and Dutch West India Companies.

It is not clear if Ketterdam is also intended to be a 1600s-esque society, timeline wise, but we know that rifles are common place and there is a thriving merchant class who rule as opposed to old aristocracy, which seems to indicate a Renaissance style setting, as well as the urban environment in general. (That said, from the advertisements for the Netflix show, they seem to have updated it to a more Victorian-era 1800s society, in terms of fashion and general aesthetics).

Overall, the prologue does its job. It gives us a vague idea of what Ketterdam is like, how the society is structured, and who holds the power. It also ends on a suspenseful cliffhanger, leaving Joost’s fate unclear. Where it falls flat is that I think a little more time could have been spent fleshing out Joost as a narrator, even if this is his only showing in the book.

His internal monologue comes across as a bit dry and mechanical, as if the author is aware he is just a means to an end to start the book off with a bang, and he quickly turns into a walking camera (just there to report events to the reader, with no internal input from him), for the second half of the prologue, as we switch to just watching Anya and Hoede through his eyes. That said, it’s not a major problem, as Joost is clearly not intended to be a main character, and his narration still effectively conveys what is happening and sets the dark tone of the novel.

What I would have liked to see from the prologue is perhaps the POV of Anya herself, or the small child she is being forced to experiment on, as that might have been a more compelling and immerse introduction to Ketterdam and its dangers rather than the fairly bland and neutral Joost, who doesn’t really feel like a character so much as a bland stand-in for the reader. If we were put in the shoes of Anya, suddenly called upon by her power hungry employer to participate in this unethical test, or in the shoes of the small boy caught up in the middle of this, it might have been both more thrilling to read and given a more gritty sense of what it’s like to be on the lowest rungs of Ketterdam’s society, at the mercy of the most powerful.

Moving onto Inej, we run into some similar problems. After Inej’s first chapter, I couldn’t tell you a single thing about her, other than that she was an acrobat as a child, that she is part of the street gang known as the Dregs, and that she intensely values loyalty. This isn’t a problem, per say, but while that’s all good to know, it doesn’t give me any sense of Inej’s actual personality, which doesn’t exactly bode well. Like Joost, she comes across more as a walking camera and occasional tourist guide as opposed to a human character with her own worries, hopes, and fears.

I think this may become a recurring problem with Bardugo’s writing - ie all tell, no show. Inej is good at telling things. She tells us where we are as we follow her to the location of a stand-off between rival gangs, she tells us that Kaz, their leader ‘doesn’t need a reason’, though she never exactly explains what that means other than that he is widely feared, she tells us that she is very fond of her knives.

But in terms of writing, we shouldn’t have to be force fed all this information via her internal monologue, which, again, entirely cuts out once the action picks up, just like Joost’s. While I don’t need her thoughts on every threat or gunshot, it would be nice to feel as if she hadn’t just vanished from the story completely as soon as the dialogue starts.

We also meet Kaz and Jesper, though I couldn’t tell you much about them utter than that Inej clearly admires, even venerates Kaz as an accomplished intimidator and chess master, and that Jesper is clearly the joker of the group.

It also feels incredibly weird that this parley between gangs in happening in front of the city’s stock exchange. Inej tells us this is because the Exchange is one of the few remaining neutral territories, but it’s also heavily guarded, which means every time a gang wants to parley, they have to pay out the cash to bribe all the guards to very pointedly ignore a meeting between rambunctious and trigger happy street gangsters on their literal doorstep.

I understand why Bardugo chose this location, wanting to contrast the violence of the gang members with the economic injustice that the Exchange and its merchant rulers represents, but it just seems a bit silly. They couldn’t meet at the docks? In an alley way? This is like picturing the American Mafia hosting a public meeting at the New York Stock Exchange with a bunch of cops twiddling their thumbs nearby.

The foreshadowing that Bollinger is the traitor (‘I’m not going to bet on my own death’) also seems very heavy handed and a little much, but I’ll let it slide.

It’s also not really clear while Inej is present at this meeting in the first place. Kaz commands her to keep watch from above, but he has also put a contingency plan in place that doesn’t even involve her, having bought out some of Geels’ men from under him. Why put Inej looking down from above if you’re not involving her in this plan? Her only role seems to be to watch, and she doesn’t even have a gun she could play sniper with. It just seems like a hamfisted way of getting Inej out of the danger zone so the author can have her as a passive spectator to the violence that follows.

This is my main problem with this chapter. It’s supposed to introduce us to Inej, but really, it’s introducing us to Kaz. Which is fine, but as he also has a POV in this book, it seems a bit lame that her own chapter is completely overtaken by showing off A. his smarts and B. how dangerous he is, despite being dismissed as a young ‘cripple’ by the likes of Geels.

Geels is also… not a greatly done villain. I get that he’s supposed to be small fry and is just a precursor to much more threatening opponents, but his every line of dialogue feels designed to show off how cool and Machiavellian Kaz is in comparison. He doesn’t seem like an actual hardened criminal who has underestimated his opponent, but a somewhat cheesy cartoon thug who unironically says things like “How are you going to wriggle your way out of this one?” with his full chest. The effect is comical, and not in a good way.

This chapter also shows off Kaz’s sadistic side in full display, which is probably one of the only interesting things about it, though it would be nice if we got any input at all from Inej on this… instead she completely vanishes from her own narration, to the point where she might as well not be present at all. Kaz has no qualms about tracking down his enemies’ weakness, such as lovers and family, and threatening them.

But the open horror and shock Geels reacts with seems incongruent, as if Kaz were the first up and coming gangster to actually consider threatening someone’s family or girlfriend. That seems pretty par for the course for violent criminals trying to claim territory and unnerve their rivals, yet Inej and Geels himself react as if no one had ever thought of sinking to the level of ‘do what I want or I’ll kill your loved ones’ until Kaz invented it. It just feels a bit silly and on the nose.

Really, my overarching issue with this chapter is that it’s not about Inej at all, it’s just an introduction to the Kaz Brekker fan club. I don’t automatically hate Kaz as a character, but his introduction is heavyhanded and comes at the cost of any establishing character moments for Inej. The most we get out of her is her brief pangs of sympathy for Bollinger despite his treachery, and her brief reference to her childhood. Maybe future Inej chapters will totally change this, but right now, it’s not a great sign of what’s to come.

I can think of about a hundred things Inej could have done or said this chapter to develop or establish her personality at all, but all we got was her briefly holding a knife to someone, and her briefly saying a prayer for Bollinger. I think it would have worked much better had this plan to catch Geels with his pants down been Inej’s invention or at least worked out between her and Kaz, rather than her just there to play lookout and admire how cool Kaz is.

Or at the very least, we could have seen the scene referenced where she searches the crime scene of the assassination, instead of that getting two lines and an entire chapter being devoted to what boils down to a pissing contest over which gangs gets rights to a certain neighborhood.

Next week, we will look at Kaz I.

[davidmann95]

So... Crossover #1: any thoughts?

Anonymous said: You seemed not to think much of Crossover #1 on Twitter. Your full thoughts?

wcwit said: So Cates' Crossover #1, best bad comic of the year or just regular pretentious trash?

An incidental note upfront: What you’re seeing there is the apparently SUPER-RARE SECRET VARIANT COVER I unwittingly picked up at the store - at first glance indistinguishable from the standard cover, the kid getting four-color-fucked by mysterious comic book rays is in fact themselves reading a variant cover of the book, rather than the main cover again in an infinite painting-within-a-painting sort of deal that’s the standard.

So I wasn’t gonna get this: my initial post on the comic and what an obviously awful idea it was back when we only knew half the premise and it was known as Pray The Capes Away actually got some out-of-nowhere traction recently, and I’ve grown rapidly tired of Cates’ Marvel work. Even learning that it was going to be Image’s biggest debut in decades - Jesus fuck, how and why - mostly just made me wish it was Commanders in Crisis getting those kinds of numbers. But Sean Dillon/@deathchrist2000 and Ritesh Babu both got early looks at it and assured me that I, specifically, needed to see the last page, so in I dove. I’ll be posting my reaction to the last page below because I recorded it for their amusement, and below that I’ll talk about said last page. It may surprise you, however, that that wasn’t my main takeaway from the issue.

Let’s accentuate the positive first! This book is gorgeous. Geoff Shaw was terrific back with Thanos Wins, but this is an incredible stylistic level-up aided and abetted by Dee Cunniffe’s colors: it’s rote as hell to say “They mix the elevated and the mundane so well!”, but even beyond the obvious ben-day dots stuff there’s such a tangible sense that the comic book beings don’t belong here, that they’re of higher, misty, platonic stuff and we squishy non-paper-people inevitably crumble and break and bleed in their wake, communicating that big idea so much more powerfully than the actual loads of text on the subject. And if we’re talking good things, I’ll concede it’s possible that there could be subtleties that play out in more interesting ways as it goes on, and that not everything is meant to be taken at face value: a smart friend who actually did like it mentioned being interested in it as clumsy but potentially effective exploration of ‘what if the fun hobby you had inadvertently became contaminated and stigmatized by forces beyond your control?’ In a post-Comicsgate world where we recently ended up inches away from the Superman logo almost certainly becoming a fascist propaganda symbol ala the Punisher skull for at least a generation, that’s a defensible lens to view this book through.

For all Donny Cates’ legitimate talents however, I don’t think an expectation of subtlety is gonna work out with this one.

Okay first off getting into the rest of it the main characters’ name is Ellipsis because “Those three little dots...they can become anything”, so there’s that. More importantly, in the world of this story where comic fans face social oppression after superpeople materialize and fuck up Colorado, they face EVERY KIND OF OPPRESSION: there are clear parallels drawn in here to the violence and harassment faced by people persecuted for their religion, people seeking abortions, queer people, and people of color; this motherfucker even drops a “hates and fears” to let us know comic collecting basically makes you one of the goddamn X-Men. Which in theory could be a purely misjudged allegory rather than stemming from actual, obscenely inflated to the point of disgusting fears of ‘nerd oppression’, except that the book literally opens with a quote from Wertham. If Cates didn’t want to make the message “Hating comics? That’s bad. Like, racism bad”, he utterly, grotesquely failed by inextricably intermingling imagery of real-world bigotry with systemic, deluded fanboy paranoia, at least as of this first issue that’s supposed to meaningfully convey the premise. As a queer dude I think I’m somewhat in my lane to say it’s too blunt and broad and dopey to be particularly offensive, but the co-opting of oppression is what this is rooted in.

The idea of ‘comics good no matter what people think, ain’t it?’ extends to the last traditional local comic store standing in this world: much as superheroes are the primary cause of suffering in this world but the point of the story is still supposed to reveal the beauty in them, part of this is that the comics community isn’t perfect but it sure is great. Which is expressed here via Ellie’s boss Otto, a loveable asshole who yells at people coming in trying to sell the wrong kind of comics to fuck off, but at heart is we’re supposed to understand a good enough dude that the shop he runs is “the only home a lot of (the benighted nerds) have left” (because I guess in this alternate universe the physical stores are still the main hub through which comics fans talk with one another?).

So here’s a story of my very own! That’s me in 2013, it must’ve been some kind of special day because I’m wearing a shirt with a button. I’d at that point only frequented one of what would be my thus far four regular comic shops. The first was a great place, and while to say I had a sense of community there would be overstating it a bit, I was on really good terms with the owner and we regularly chatted when we had the time. When I left for college my store there wasn’t as well-stocked, and for some damn reason all variant covers were double-price, but I got along really well with the owner there too. The third I wasn’t so lucky; the guy regularly behind the desk was never overtly hostile, but clearly wanted to wring my neck every time I asked when a missing comic might get in or if I could update my pull list, and given I’m in the ‘ideal’ demographic for being a comic book store regular and was dropping a solid lump of money there every week, I wonder how others were treated there (the store nearly went under, was saved on the last day of operation by another store that wanted to incorporate it as part of its franchise, then shortly afterwards DID go under and is now I believe a beef jerky place). My current store is fine, I didn’t chat much with the folks behind the counter even before we all had medical incentive to get in and out of places fairly quickly but it almost always has what I’m looking for.

Just because those were my regular stores of course doesn’t mean those are the only ones I’ve ever gone to. About a year before that picture was taken - it’s the closest I could find - when I was 17 my store didn’t have something or another I was looking for, so I head across town to see if another place I had looked up had it. This other place didn’t have what I was looking for either, though I distinctly remember picking up a few issues of Hickman’s FF while I was there since I had foolishly fallen off, hence my remembering the year. I bought a couple issues, but hung around for a bit looking to see if I might grab something else out of a dollar box, setting my comics down. Without realizing it, I’d set my books down on top of another issue, and when I decided I wasn’t getting anything else, I just picked that up along with the rest of the pile and was about to walk out before the owner stopped me. He explained what I had done though assumed it had been deliberate, and because I was a good-hearted little geek I even recall thinking “Well, he’s gonna chew me out, but I guess I deserve it. I’ll try and take this to heart as a learning experience.”

Then he pulled up his shirt a little to show me the gun on his belt. He pointed at the security camera monitors at his desk, and explained to me that if I ever did something like that again, he would have it on tape, and he would pull that gun on me and hold me there while he called the cops.

As it turned out, the comic was free.

The whole thing was so sudden and bizarre and unexpected I didn’t actually freak out until the drive home. It wasn’t until weeks or maybe months later that I managed to tell my dad about the experience, because I *had* nearly stolen a (free) comic and my guilt was mixed in with my nerves and I guess I was somehow too close to register just how disproportionate his response was. It wasn’t until now, nearly a decade later and thinking about it for the first time in a long time as I write this, that I wondered if that might have gone differently - especially living in the midwest - if I hadn’t been a white, squeaky-voiced 17-year-old.

So, minor spoiler, when our cantankerous but well-meaning LCS owner yells to call the cops and grabs and yells at a small kid for pocketing a comic (and later displays fantasy racism towards said kid), I am not filled with nostalgic love for the brotherly safe space that is comic book stores, where this guy while not meant to be seen as perfect is still framed in part as a charming, witty representation of Why We Love These Places, And This Community, And This Genre, And This Medium. Cates is clearly drawing on real time at his local stores, but he equally clearly has a very different takeaway from those experiences than me. And I am, again, in a demographic - white, cis-male, abled, bi but more interested in women, disposable income, a lifelong collector - that the industry and a lot of the guys who sell it to us contort themselves around catering to, even if I had a single very negative experience and later an ongoing low-key uncomfortable one to help disabuse me of any notions of the purity of the dork community. In the world of Crossover as of #1, toxicity is intertwined, deliberately or not on the part of the creators, with what we love on the cosmic and small business scales alike, but at least in the latter case it’s the whole picture that’s beautiful, not any single kernel that needs to be worked on to be dug up.

So underneath is my video reaction to the last page of Crossover #1. Very minor spoilers because I mutter the last two words of the comic to myself, but under the video I discuss said final page and some other scattered thoughts. Whether you read that or not, my takeaway is this: I’m fascinated with wherever the hell this thing is going, I’m glad my dad liked it well enough to want to keep getting it because now I’ll get to see where it heads, but my first impression is that this is at heart meant as cheapass Oscar-bait for people who only read Batman. It’s big and high-concept but also small and intimate! It’s meta and about how great you, the reader are for your consumption, especially the consumption of this! It’s going to be in large part about a forbidden love between a couple divided across impermeable social lines (a couple where they’re a seemingly straight white man and woman, but one likes comics)! Maybe it’ll become Not That, and I’m sure it’ll do at least something interesting along the way because Cates has done good stuff before and there are some inherently interesting big ideas for him to play with here, but for the love of god if you’re thinking about getting this buy Commanders in Crisis too or instead, it’s another new book out of Image about superheroes dealing with the collapse of the multiverse but that one is really fucking good.

So the final page splash reveal is that when the comic book child discovered in here got out of Colorado, which has had an impenetrable energy shield erected around it by one of the heroes for years, she and others were ferried out of there...by Superman, as the narration declares that “This is a story...about hope.” They don’t say the word, but she sketches her savior, Ellie and Otto freak out and go “Is that---” when they see it, and on that last page we see that while a crude drawing it isn’t a rough analogue character, it’s a guy with a cape and trunks with an S on his chest. Surprisingly, I don’t have much to say: it’s just another blunt signifier that superheroes rule and are the best, paired with the most utterly devalued notion as of late of what makes Superman special in ‘hope’. I mean, I’m perversely excited to see whether this is building the entire series on a hook it can never deliver on, or if Cates actually has talked DC into an intercompany crossover; believable given they’ve done a bunch of those over the last several years, and why else would Mark Waid be supervising as ‘story editor’ on this? I guess it’ll shake out one way or another with #6 given Cates has said it “has one of the more epic and — I would argue historic — sequences in comic book history in it.” But I’m far less convinced this is gonna truly go into the meaty question of “What does Superman mean and what makes him unique in this world where superheroes in general are indisputably either failures or monstrous bastards given the scale of destruction their presence has brought about, and he himself failed to stop that?” than as some kind of holy grail of how great superheroes are despite how dang violent they’ve gotten these days for the crew to chase after, whatever additional twist will surely be placed upon it. At least he’s kinda helping an immigrant kid get over a wall, if that’s deliberate?

Random final thoughts:

* If I wrote the opening essay and turned it in in a college course, I would be expelled for plagiarizing Grant Morrison. This is not a joke.

* If mainstream American superhero comics ended January 2017 in this universe, its own last ‘crossover’ was Civil War II, which is hilarious.

* God, please tell me if it takes the dive after all that this isn’t somehow tied into whatever Waid’s Superman project is.

* I wouldn’t normally crap on issues with the finer details of worldbuilding, but A. This is rooted in a nominally ‘real’ world playing by recognizable rules, B. I’m ragging on this anyway so what’s the harm, and C. It’s really obvious. So: Why is one of the racists against the superheroes the guy who loves superheroes so much he’s the last holdout in the entire world still selling comic books about them? How does this modestly-sized shop exist long-term with apparently a significant regular customer base if there are no new comics or even reprints to restock with, ever? Who’s buying the serialized cop/cowboy comics that the U.S. government apparently created pretty much overnight (nobody, it’s just another Wertham dig)?

* The solicit for issue #3 proclaims “Don't miss this one, folks. If you do, it just might drive you...mad.”, so now I fear some kind of Ultra Comics riff.

* “Kids love chains” is the most metal-ass quote of all time and I hate that it’s being wasted as an arc title on this book.

[papermariosuggestion]

What are you hoping for from a new Paper Mario? What's your "golden ideal", I guess?

I could spend, like, years thinking of things I’d like to see in a Paper Mario game, but I’ll try to narrow it down. Here are some of the main things I’d really like to see:

☆ New partners (plural)

• Based on previously established Mario species, preferably “enemy” species, as “The circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.”

• Unusual, but believable, and perhaps even poignant, backstories and fully realized character arcs. I want to care about these characters because I’m invested in this world, its inhabitants, and those inhabitants’ personal successes and failures, not just because their design is so kawaii and/or their dialogue is so funny, though those things are a plus.

• Distinct personalities and opportunities to show those personalities off (through design, body language, dialogue, etc).

☆ RPG mechanics

• Built on the solid foundation established in Paper Mario (N64)

• Turn-based combat

• A leveling system where you get to choose which stat to increase

• Badges (Including superficial badges like the L Emblem and Attack FX badges)

• Something new, like being able to use two partners to perform a Bros.-Attack-like move, or maybe even stats specifically pertaining to your partners.

☆ New locations

• It’s a delicate balance. Locations should both feel like they could realistically exist in Mario’s world and feel like something we’ve never seen before. TTYD has some great examples of this (Rogueport, Boggly Woods, Twilight Town, etc). Super Paper Mario has some creative locations as well, but because it takes place in another dimension, not in the typical world that Mario inhabits, none of them really feel particularly “Mario-esque” in nature. They’re all a bit off-brand, so to speak.

• On a technical level, graphics are improving all of the time, but that doesn’t automatically lead to more intriguing and/or more visually satisfying designs. At it’s core, Mario is a fantasy franchise, an escape from reality, and the Paper Mario series is one of the few series in the franchise that really builds out- or at least used to really build out- its world, and that world was interesting because it was new and mysterious, it practically begged to be explored. Paper Mario games should show me something I can’t see in reality; I know what paper and cardboard and lemons and steaks look like, show me underground cities and palaces, show me sprawling gardens with talking flowers, show me a floating tourist trap in the sky. The biggest limit is your imagination, so let it run wild, and show me that, show me that Alice in Wonderland-like controlled chaos.

☆ An interconnected world and motivated backtracking

• No stage-selection maps. Even if the game is fairly linear, I don’t need to have that shoved in my face. I don’t want to feel like I’m working my way down a to-do list, glued to a track, I want to journey through the world and explore somewhat freely.

• No fast travel by default (maybe you unlock fast travel after beating an optional challenge like the Pit of 100 Trials)

• No pipes that take you right from the hub world to the chapter area; I wanna walk…

…and I want it to be through a believable, expansive, intricate world that changes as I progress through the game, a world I could see hundreds of times and never get sick of because its details are constantly in flux, and because those details are the kind that make it feel realistic and lived-in. I don’t want to be teleported from A to B, or confined on a path from A to B to C, I want to explore, I want to discover, I want to experience this world and to form an attachment to it. This alone would make backtracking more worthwhile, but…

• …another way to make backtracking even more enjoyable would be to add events that make walking into a game in and of itself, like having to follow a creature up in the trees, or having to get through a cursed area in Mirror Mode, or having to dodge and weave through falling rocks because there’s a huge earthquake destroying- and altering the actual geometry of- the area. Walking doesn’t have to be a chore for you to complete in order to get on with the game, and it shouldn’t be, it should be part of the game, just as engaging as anything else you’re involved in.

☆ Non-linear elements

• The game should still be fairly linear overall, because Paper Mario games are chapter-based stories with beginnings, middles, and ends, but having some say  in which chapter comes next, or which partner you meet, or even just which puzzle you solve next would give the player a stronger sense of agency. Story-driven games are at high-risk of making the player feel like they’re just along for the ride, and this would help to counteract that.

☆ Spin dashing

• Gotta go fast! Getting rid of spin dashing always felt like an odd choice to me. Characters like the Yoshi kid, Carrie, and Dashell kind of replaced it, in the sense that they allow you to move quickly, but being able to speed up without switching partners, as well as being able to spin attack and just to witness the utter chaos of Mario flinging himself across the screen again, would make backtracking and walking around in general less of a slog. It would also give you more agency in the overworld and serve as a nice callback to the original game.

☆ Free-moving NPCs & situational dialogue

• In past games, NPCs have been confined to certain paths and locations. They might move from chapter to chapter, but they would always stay in the same general area until you triggered an event that placed them somewhere new. I’d like to see characters wandering around, going in and out of buildings, visiting other locations, having private conversations with one another, getting into fights, buying and selling items at the shop, putting on different clothes, and doing just about anything else they would typically do in-universe. Obviously this would be huge challenge to program, but we’re talking about an ideal here, and anything in this general direction would be an improvement in my eyes. We already see a bit of this in the series, but I’d like to see even more.

• When NPCs say things like “Where are your manners, Mario? You shouldn’t climb on the table” and “Don’t be so careless. There are too many enjoyable things in the world to gamble with your life!” it makes it feel like they actually see what you’re doing and care about what you’re doing. Having NPCs respond to you differently because of where you’re standing, or what partner you have out, or what badges you’re wearing, and so on, makes them into more than just set decoration or a sign to read, it makes them people, or at least more person-like. Nintendo’s been pretty good about this in recent years, probably because technical improvements have made it easier than ever before, and I think it would be fitting for a series known for its world-building.

☆ Dynamic lighting design & a day/night system

• This is all about aesthetics because, as it turns out, visuals are pretty important in a video game. Paper Mario (N64) had some really interesting lighting design, notably in darker areas like the secret passage in Peach’s castle, and we haven’t really seen a lot of that since, despite having more advanced technology that would allow for advanced lighting.

• I’d like to see things like swinging chandeliers that cast beams of light, and cracks in the ceiling that light pours through, and mirrors/reflections that Mario uses to solve puzzles, and shadows that hint at secrets. Lighting is a huge part of shaping a world, and using it in a variety of different and meaningful ways just makes your world seem that much more complex and grounded.

• As for the day/night system, I am picturing a game that visually changes based on the actual time of day, kind of like Animal Crossing games do, but not a game that requires it to be a certain time of day for any gameplay purposes, not for the main quest, not for side-quests, and not even for easter eggs. All I want is for it to be bright when I play in the morning, orange when I play at sunset, and starry when I play at night. This also would add to the game’s replayability, as different chapters would look and feel different depending on what time of day it was when you played through them.

☆ Easter eggs that reference other games in the franchise

• I want it to be clear, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Mario we see in Paper Mario games is the same Mario we see in other Mario games, not another person, and talking about the time he visited Isle Delfino or when Bowser fused with a sentient tennis racket would really drive that home.

• Make me really look for some, though. It’s cool to spot easter eggs in plain sight, but what’s really rewarding is having to dig for them. I don’t just wanna see Luigi standing in the background, I want to spot little inconsistencies and cracks in the walls and cryptograms spread throughout the world. Sure, the five-year-olds playing might not find them on their first playthrough, but when they’re fifteen and they remember that awesome Paper Mario game they played a decade ago, they won’t just be revisiting a world they’ve fully explored, they’ll be playing on a whole new level, figuratively speaking.

☆ amiibo Compatibility/functionality

• I’m not a big fan of DLC in general, as it’s often overpriced, but I do think amiibos are neat; using a real object to unlock something in a virtual world makes the virtual world feel just that much more alive to me, that much more like it’s a little world I can actually affect.

• The Paper Mario series never really got official merch, and while you do see a bit of your partners’ lives in the epilogue, it’s only a glimpse into their future, so getting little figurines of past partners that make them appear in the game, tell you about a recent adventure they had, and give you a unique badge based on their abilities/personalities/experiences, would be like a dream come true.

☆ Just be creative (I know it’s not that simple, but like, figure it out)

• Surprise me; throw in something inventive and revolutionary, like Wall Merging from A Link Between Worlds or The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device from Portal.  There’s a whole universe of possibilities out there; please dream a little bigger than items disguised as a gameplay element and a hammer that fills in glaringly obvious gaps in paint. Nintendo’s always pushing the video game industry forward with their creative consoles. Use that, take whatever whacky control method they come up with next and integrate it like Super Paper Mario did- but hopefully even better than Super Paper Mario did- with the Wii remote.

• I see fans writing stories, and drawing characters, and making sprites, and working with all kinds of mediums to make art that knocks everything from recent “Paper Mario” games out of the park. Obviously Intelligent Systems can’t just steal those ideas, but I’d love to see them get on that wavelength and match that passion.

• Make a game that you’d never want to put down because you just can’t get enough of it, and don’t even bother with that “You’ve been playing for a while. You wanna take a break, grab a snack, chill out for a sec?” message; if I die playing your game because it’s truly that good, I see that as an absolute win. That’s legendary game design, my friend; aim to make a Paper Mario game so good it’s worth dying for, and if you fall short of that, hopefully you’ll still land on something pretty awesome.

[charliejrogers]

Klaus (2019) Review & Analysis

I remember recently discussing with my fiancée how, though there have undoubtedly been a number of Christmas movies released in the last twenty years, none have really risen to the level of a “classic” – something you would want to watch every year as part of a tradition. It’s true I have not seen it, but still something tells me that 2008’s Reese Witherspoon vehicle Four Christmases is not on anyone’s annual watchlist… nor 2017’s Mel Gibson-infested Daddy’s Home 2. We concluded that the last “classic” was 2003’s Elf. And, while Christmas movies don’t have to mention Jesus or religion obviously, please don’t try to tell me that Frozen is a Christmas movie… it’s not! In some ways, given how secular things are, I began to wonder if there even was a market for holiday family fun movies, but of course, I’m an idiot because you can just make a whole movie about Santa Claus. Move over, Jesus, we gotta talk about the reason for the season!

Klaus released last holiday season on Netflix and at least in Chicago I saw billboards for it everywhere. Netflix went all in on promoting this as the next big Christmas movie and had some moderate success; they even grabbed an Oscar nom for best animated picture. Unlike most animated films these days, Klaus was made by neither DreamWorks nor Disney, and it shows. It lacks the refined polish of a Disney/Pixar feature, but also has a heart unlike a DreamWorks picture. The animation style can be best described as a hybrid of 2D and 3D (yet not quite 2.5D). At times the character models look like classic hand-drawn 2D models set within a mostly computer-generated 3D environment. But at other times, they look more 3D. It’s confusing to describe, and inconsistent to watch. It often felt like I was watching a compromise between a studio that wanted a distinct animation style but didn’t have the budget to fully realize it. Still, more often the not it’s a pretty movie.

More than the raw visuals, the movie has a fantastic sense of atmosphere… perhaps even too much at the beginning. Klaus is, in one sense, the story about how a lonely woodsman becomes the legendary Santa Claus, but for such a jolly premise, much of the film is shrouded in shadows and dominated by an oppressive, cold, snowy bleakness. In retrospect, this makes sense as the true triumph of Santa and “Christmas spirit” can only be best appreciated when it brings light to the darkest of places and times. Still, upon first viewing, I was quite surprised and shocked by the dark atmosphere and downright violent imagery on display at the beginning of the film, so much so that I was wondering if this really was a Christmas movie!

The darkness stems from the fact that our woodsman Klaus lives deep within the forest on a far north island, far far from the closest village which is a town called Smeerensberg and is famous for its never ending feuding and wickedness. It’s a genuine Nineveh of the North so it seems. The town’s feud centers around two rivalling clans (the film’s equivalent of the Hatfields & McCoys) and every villager belongs to one clan or the other. The two families’ feuds go back longer than anyone can remember (cave paintings exist that depict their feud), implying an original sin of sorts with the town being more born from hatred than spawning it. Hatred is so foundational that it infects every part of society. Unwilling to allow children to interact with the rival clans in classrooms, children just don’t go to school. Instead, they roam the streets playing pranks on old people and stabbing snowmen with carrots.

For the most part, Klaus lives his life separate from and unbothered by these unruly residents of Smeerensberg. What breaks his solitude is the arrival of a new post officer to Smeerensberg. More than a trivial side character, this post officer, Jesper Johansson, is surprisingly the main character of this movie all about the origins of Santa Claus.

Much like the residents of Smeerensberg, we the audience come to the film with a primary misunderstanding, much of what makes Santa famous today (the home invasion via chimney, the responding to letters, the reindeer-pulled sleigh) were the creative inventions of a spoiler-brat-turned-postman. So despite this movie being about the origins of Santa Claus, being a Christmas movie, you should have guessed that this will be some variant on Dickens’ classic tale. Jesper isn’t a classic Scrooge in that he doesn’t abhor Christmas, but he is self-absorbed, materialistic, and all-around not a great guy. He’s the spoiled son of a successful postal worker who controls a postal empire that looks more like an army. (The true fantasy of this movie has nothing do with sleigh bells and stocking stuffers… it’s the idea that the post office is a well-organized, well-respected, successful enterprise.) Anyways, recognizing his own son’s worthlessness, Jesper’s father decides to whip him into shape, ship him off to the God-forsaken land of Smeerensberg with an ultimatum: Jesper must process 6,000 letters from the town of Smeerensberg in a year or else be cut off from his father’s wealth. The problem? With how ugly the feud is in Smeerensberg, no one needs to write a letter to express their feelings when a cold snowball to the face (or worse) will get the point across quite clearly.

So now with the spoiled postal heir longing for silk sheets as he tries to survive out in the cold boonies, the movie gets a hint of the Emperor’s New Groove flavor… sans llama. It is only by sheer “chance” (we’ll get to that) that when Jesper visits the woodsman in a last ditch effort to find one person on the island who wants to send a letter, a piece of paper falls out of Jesper’s bag as he flees in horror of the woodsman (we’ll get to that).  This piece of paper contains a drawing that a little boy made of himself locked in a high tower looking sad. In a very humorous scene, we had seen Jesper accidentally stumble across this drawing and then unsuccessfully try to scam the boy into giving him money so that Jesper could “mail” it back to him, rather than just give it back. Regardless, recognizing the little boy’s suffering, the woodsman decides to do something about it and enlists Jesper’s help. Luckily for the children of Smeerensberg, the woodsman has a barn full of toys. Yes, “a barn full of toys” is as creepy as that sounds and the films uses that creepiness to full effect when Jesper first meets the woodsman. The large, imposing, hooded, axe-bearing woodsman is far from the jolly fellow we know he is destined to become. He’s downright scary and given how violent the town of Smeerensberg is (Jesper almost dies when he first arrives because he’s tricked into ringing the war bell which sends the whole town into violent frenzy), we and Jesper are not wrong to assume the woodsman holds only ill-intentions. Essentially, the first meeting with the woodsman is supposed to be something akin to the reveal of the Beast in 1991’s Beauty & the Beast, a film so scary it sent my then two-year-old sister running out of theater in tears. Ultimately, I can’t speak for the mind of a child, but the tension for me here is certainly lessened by the fact that… well… we know the woodsman is Santa Claus. So even though Jesper is scared shitless and flees after meeting the woodsman, we know that there will be more to their story.

Still, even if not necessarily scary, the film does successfully shroud the woodsman in mystery, and his backstory is slowly and beautifully revealed throughout the film. I won’t spoil it here, but the script does a fantastic job of contextualizing the woodman’s stoic and aloof nature and explaining why that barn is so full of toys. The explanations come naturally and speak to a real human pain that I was not expecting from this film. In terms of emotion, the woodsman’s backstory almost reaches the opening montage to Up. ALMOST, I said, so put down the pitchforks!

So Jesper and the woodsman team up to deliver a present to that first child from the drawing. Or more accurately, the woodsman throws Jesper down a chimney to deliver a present while the woodsman looks on. The ensuing scene when the boy opens his present brought tears to my eyes. The woodsman (and we with him) watching the pure joy of a child receiving a present is truly nostalgic in its most literal sense. It hurts to see such joy, remembering that at one time you too could feel such joy from a hunk of plastic, and knowing you will never feel that way again. It’s a joy that few films outside of A Christmas Story with its the red rider BB gun really nail. Anyways, the little boy sees the woodsman through the window and finds his original drawing of himself locked in the tower which the woodsman leaves behind by accident. He surmises that the postman had devliered his drawing to the woodsman, and the woodsman responded with a present.

After that… well the rumor spreads wildly of the mysterious woodsman who comes down chimneys at night to give presents to children in response to letters. Now, the once dormant post office becomes a bustling hub of activity as children from all over flock to send letters to this Mr. Klaus. Kids even beg to go to school so that they can learn to write in order to get presents (much to the dismay of the disilliusioned teacher who long ago gave up on her dreams of teaching in a town where no child goes to school and had turned to being a fishmonger in order to pay the bills and one day afford to leave the town for good).

Gradually the children, who seemingly had no toys prior to Klaus and Jesper’s escapades, now joyously play together, regardless of which clan they belong to. Initially this upsets their parents greatly, but in the end it’s hard to really hate the parents of your children’s friends. The film promotes an age-appropriate and inspiring, if fanciful and naïve, notion that all the world’s problems would be solved if we all thought like children. As by spreading joy throughout the town, Jesper and Klaus inadvertently make the town a better place to live. It’s the theme of the film (not that they’re subtle about it): one act of good-will always begets another (or something like that). Still, all this doesn’t please the village elders, who abhor the change from the town’s hateful origins. They will ultimately serve as villains trying to put an end to all this gift-giving business.

Of course, there’s another villain of sorts, as well. Despite all the good he’s doing, Jesper is ultimately still motivated mostly by the notion of getting back to his old cushioned life. He is essentially using Klaus and preying on his kindness in order to launch himself back to a life of selfishness. It’s here the story feels most Dickensian, particularly in a scene where the school teacher (now love interest) acts functionally the same to the ghost of Christmas present and takes Jesper to the city center to see for himself the love and joy that he has helped bring to the world. But, still his desires to go home are strong, and, of course, he keeps them a secret. So between Jesper’s inner conflict about where he belongs in life and the external conflict of the community trying to fight back against a change in its culture, the film naturally comes to climax when the two conflicts meet and Jesper must confront both challenges at once.

What I’ve realized in writing this review … is that I am very impressed by the plot’s complexity and depth. The film weaves together at least three solid story arcs (Jesper’s coming-of-age/Scrooge-like-change-of-heart, Smeerenberg’s bubbling kindness revolution, and the woodsman’s aged hero who finds redemption and purpose after so many years alone). That all three feel fully supported and without any bloat is a testament to its absolutely solid writing, and for a kid’s film no less! Furthermore, the “origin” story genre can sometimes fall flat as it can just feel like the writers are writing more Wikipedia entries, explaining how every little aspect came to be more than just telling a good story. I call it the Han Solo trap. As for Klaus, the little tidbits about why Klaus uses reindeer and not horses, who the “elves” who work his workshop are, always clever and grow organically from the plot.

Plus, despite my opening doubts regarding whether the dark tone really fit a “Christmas” movie, the film very capably captures the joys of the Christmas season. Like Christians think about Jesus, Klaus/Jesper bring a world of light into a world of darkness. The film teaches about the importance of creating a loving community, of being selfless, and most importantly of respecting the spiritual aspect of the season. Even if this is a decidedly capitalistic/entrepreneurial movie, the film is not without a spiritual side. The previously mentioned “chance” of the woodsman seeing that initial drawing of the boy locked in the tower is no chance at all. Instead, throughout the film we see that the woodsman is “haunted” in a sense by a ghostly wind that points him in the path of righteousness. The film has its own explanation for what the force behind the wind is, but it is not too far of a stretch to point out the similarities between the wind and the Christian idea of the guiding Holy Spirit. Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that the woodsman represents God the Father and Jesper God the Son, (or is Klaus more the Christ figure?) because I think this movie is decidedly not Christian, but more I just want to highlight that I enjoyed that the film allowed for the presence of spirituality, which moves this film from the realm of secular kindness to one that recognizes the power and presence of some spiritual goodness, aligning with how many think of the “Christmas spirit.”

Now, let’s be clear, this is a fun, family classic, but it’s not a perfect film. In fact, I downright disliked the first twenty to thirty minutes, for the aforementioned tonal reasons, but also because I really disliked Jason Schwartzmann’s voice acting in the lead role of Jesper. My dislike lessened with the introduction of the woodsman, but it never went away fully. I can’t help but think this movie would be better with a different actor voicing Jesper. Everyone else does an adequate job with the voice work. J.K. Simmons as Klaus takes on an almost Batman-like stoic gruffness, and Rashida Jones as the teacher and love interest is just fine. And, again, I never really fell in love with the art style and it sometimes distracted me, and I found the soundtrack, particularly the main song to be rather lame and too much “of its time” than the typically timeless, more Broadway productions that Disney/Pixar put out. Still, director Sergio Pablos has done something I did not think possible. He and his team created a *new* Christmas classic, one that I’m sure will be played on an annual basis in many households across the world.

***1/4 (Three and a fourth stars out of four)

[jackdawyt]

One of the most alarming statements made by anonymous BioWare employees currently working on the next Dragon Age has been the remark that the next game is “planned with a live service component, built for long-term gameplay and revenue.”

Like me, I suspect you have questions regarding what exactly a live-service Dragon Age 4 may entail. While we don’t have all the answers currently, thanks to Jason Schreier’s article on “The Past and Present of Dragon Age”, we certainly have an idea on what the next Dragon Age may look like.  

Regardless, I feel like it’s even more necessary to have this conversation on BioWare’s live service future having watched the debacle of Anthem’s post-launch content, and what BioWare hopefully learned from Anthem’s experience going forward with Dragon Age 4.  

You see, Anthem’s live service model was originally going to follow story-based content after the base game launched. The content would forward the main narrative in many different directions with new areas, bosses, dungeons, characters, stories, and of course, cosmetics.  

In pre-production, Anthem's story had been produced with live service in mind, so the developers could easily write, change and create many different plot points and narratives in future content to come.  

“They had a really strong belief in the live service,” said one developer. “Issues that were coming up, they’d say, ‘We’re a live service. We’ll be supporting this for years to come. We’ll fix that later on.’” (How BioWare's Anthem Went Wrong, Kotaku).

The game was originally planned to follow a deep content road map, that would have players still engaged with Anthem ten years after launch.  

"Anthem is a social game where you and your friends go on quests and journeys. It’s a game that we’ve been working on for almost four years now, and once we launch it next year I think it’ll be the start of a ten-year journey for us." (Patrick Soderlund)

However, Anthem’s original ‘idealistic’ live-service model didn’t come to fruition due to only 18 months of development time. The content road map we did eventually get for Anthem, didn’t prove to be successful.  

[Anthem] was in development for nearly seven years but didn’t enter production until the final 18 months, thanks to big narrative reboots, major design overhauls, and a leadership team said to be unable to provide a consistent vision and unwilling to listen to feedback. (How BioWare's Anthem Went Wrong, Kotaku).

The post-launch content was staged in acts. The first act was called “Echoes of Reality” and would last around three months, providing constant new missions, strongholds and world dynamics. The act would end on a huge update called “The Cataclysm”.  

Unfortunately, this road map was too idealistic, and was cancelled after heavy delays of “The Cataclysm” event.  

With BioWare’s first live service model not going according to plan, hopefully, the unsuccessful launch of Anthem’s live service-model speaks volume for future BioWare’s titles, and the developers have learned from that experience.

It's worth stating that Anthem isn’t dead and BioWare haven’t abandoned ship. They’ve remained adamant on working out how the game can stay afloat, as a small production team at BioWare Austin work on the preliminary design of Anthem 2.0.  

BioWare and parent company EA have been planning an overhaul of the online shooter, according to three people familiar with those plans. Some call it “Anthem 2.0” or “Anthem Next.” (Sources: BioWare Plans A Complete Overhaul For Anthem, Kotaku).

In spite of that, I know for a fact, every Dragon Age fan can look at Anthem’s style of a live-service model and say that this model wouldn't cross-over into a Dragon Age game.  

Anthem is a multiplayer game with a heavy emphasis on gameplay as opposed to story. While the game does have a main narrative with all the BioWare trimmings of lore and a codex, the general reason you play Anthem is to kill, loot and customise your javelin suit.  

This gameplay loop can be easily continued with a live service model adding new content like levels, enemies, worlds, cosmetics, etc.  

Whereas for Dragon Age, the player’s experience is deeper than the gameplay - there are many reasons we play Dragon Age - for instance my experiences have been driven by the story as I, solely, make impacting choices and consequences throughout the world.  

Anthem’s live service model reflects a very different perspective, so, what could a Dragon Age live service-model entail?  

Well, according to Jason Schreier: “we not sure about the details, and in fact they’re likely still being decided, as the game is still very early in development and could evolve based on the negative reception to Anthem. If it does turn out to be an online game, which seems likely, it would be shocking if you couldn’t play the bulk of it by yourself."

"One person close to the game told [Jason] that Morrison’s critical path, or main story, would be designed for single-player and that goal of the multiplayer elements would be to keep people engaged so that they would actually stick with post-launch content."

"Some ideas [Jason] heard floated for Morrison’s multiplayer include companions that can be controlled by multiple players via drop-in/drop-out co-op, similar to old-school BioWare RPGs like Baldur’s Gate, and quests that could change based not just on one player’s decisions, but on the choices of players across the globe."

“They have a lot of unanswered questions. Plus, I know it’s going to change like five times in the next two years.”

The trouble with Dragon Age 4 being live service is that the game is predominantly single-player, and while there is a multiplayer mode in Inquisition, no one plays Dragon Age for multiplayer. As I said before, there are many personal reasons each of us play the series from escapism to fantasy fulfilment and everything in-between.  

Diversification of a live service model or multiplayer in the fourth entry of a single-player RPG just sounds like a recipe for disaster in my opinion.  

While in theory, the idea of a drop-in/drop-out coop system in Dragon Age 4 sounds somewhat okay, everything else that multiplayer implicates is not okay.  

If this sort of coop system is embedded into the game, then Dragon Age 4 could be an always online game running on servers. If Anthem serves as an example, that means no offline play, long loading screens, and an almost unplayable launch day.

How can Dragon Age 4 follow a live service model, and at the same time appeal to the majority of the single-player fans? That’s not a rhetorical question because I have three approach's BioWare could likely follow:  

The Andromeda Approach

In Mass Effect: Andromeda, Ryder has a small unit called Strike Teams, they act like Inquisition’s war table mechanic where you can send out groups into the world for rewards. However, in Andromeda as a secondary option, the player can actually take over these missions themselves in the multiplayer mode to assume full security over the mission’s succession.  

Dragon Age 4 could have a new war table that enacts live service content. Perhaps you’re given an incentivise to take on side-missions in multiplayer with other people, however, like Andromeda’s method, if you’d rather not, you can just send NPC’s to do the task with a longer time limit.  

The multiplayer mode while connected to the single-player would be a dispatched component. This sounds like the most okay approach for the majority of fans.  

The Anthem Approach

Anthem’s approach follows a single-player hub-based world where many key choices and story scenes can play out. Then once you enter the world, or choose a quest, the player is automatically put into a lobby. While you can play the missions and explore the world solo, you can’t play offline, it’s always online play on servers.  

Hypothetically, if Dragon Age 4 followed this exact approach, the player would have a single-player based hub, like a castle, fort or camp where we could engage with our allies and further the plot. However, when continuing the main missions, or exploring the world, we’d then have to go through a lobby to continue the adventure solo or with friends on always online servers, with no offline play.  

This wouldn’t be a good experience in my opinion.  

The “Ideal” Approach  

My ideal approach to live service is, of course, way too optimistic, but I’m throwing it out there anyways because Ubisoft did it, so that means anyone can do it. I’d love Dragon Age 4’s live service model to follow many post-launch story-based DLC’s adding to the narrative post-launch.  

Perhaps smaller content added monthly like new enemies, quests, areas, etc.  

And larger, story-based content perhaps 3-4 months after launch, and onwards.  

This is exactly what live service should be, the game is kept alive with more quests and story DLC’s giving the game breathe. If done successfully, this could be a live service RPG done right, with more content coming for months.  

Final Thoughts  

I may sound cavalier about the whole live service Dragon Age 4 ordeal, but I trust in the developers and their knowledge of their games and more importantly, their fans.  

This is something I haven’t stopped talking about, but it’s worth reiterating that the BioWare developers are looking with an eye to what the fans love about Dragon Age. The main team working on Dragon Age 4 created the Trespasser DLC, that’s John Epler’s narrative direction, with Patrick Weekes as the Lead Writer.  

Yes, I do get worried when I hear the terms “live service Dragon Age 4”, and “Anthem with Dragons”, but ultimately that’s just unplaced fear. In reality, the BioWare developers know their fanbase more than anyone, and will most certainly cater to our needs for the next Dragon Age game.  

I know this topic is rather baren at the moment, we don’t have a clearer picture of what Dragon Age 4 will look like. We’ve just got to trust the epic developers who’ve been at the studio since Dragon Age: Origins and are working on the next instalment to the best of their ability.

I’m sure we’ll touch on this topic in the future, but for now, let’s just focus on supporting the people creating the next Dragon Age, rather than fear what may or may not transpire in the next game. When we know more about live service, I’ll be sure to have another chat about it with you all then.  

Let me know your thoughts on how BioWare can handle Dragon Age 4’s live service model.  

[craftmanatee]

Dread X Collection 3 Games Review

Once again, my friend and I have played through a new Dread X collection and I would like to make a short concise review for each game including the Hub area. We each played 1 game resulting in 6 each. The order of games reviewed is not the recommended order to play as we went on a very simple roundabout on the graveyard, and the games have a strong sense of quality unlike Dread X Collection 2 which had many great quality games and many low quality games.

Lets go!

Game X: The Castle (A bit unremarkable)

Scare Type: Cute

Player: My friend

The castle in some way is a step back from the awesomeness of the house. As it proceeds with forced dialogue cutscenes with your character and a ghost character that possesses in you. The puzzles and areas are also larger and more spread out and easier than the house. The Dialogue cutscene itself even give the idea to not compare the two, which is understandable. But let me tell YOU that I enjoyed the house more than I did the Castle (Even if it was not I who was doing the Castle Bit), so even if they are different, one was in my opinion better than the other.

The forced Dialogue cutscenes weren't to bad. The Voice Acting was not bad. Its rather the script and subjecting the player to sit through it. Its not the most fun to sit through and could have been handled better. In the house, a dialogue still happened but you were still free to move around while listening to the pre-recorded message. The ghost possessing you could have done the same with you, but instead this YOU is a character that must go into a dialogue and stop your gameplay.

The STYLE of the castle is where I think it wins the best. The very cute spooky aesthetic is great, and hold a lot of details we noticed near the end of the game. Like the paintings being famous paintings, replacing the characters of the paintings to goofy ghosts. Time passing between each game is also a great detail, making the castle ever so slightly different all the way to night time. I love the castle for this.

We quickly figured out that the theme for this Dread X collection was not just Cute and spooky, but also the inevitability of death.

Nate Berens – SATO WONDERLAND (Ok)

Scare Type: Surprising!

Player: My Buddy

This game was alright, nothing too amazing as pulling different topics to make a new dialogue box appear was tedious and a bit annoying. But the story itself was pretty cool, resulting in a surprise ending. Each game have different endings which we did not try to explore, but for this I think we managed to get the best ending. Not much to say about this one.

Blood Machine – Soul Waste (Eh...)

Scare Type: ...None?

Player: Me

Soul Waste is a 3D action platformer about this... post apocalyptical world, and you happen to be the “Saviour”. We got Ending C for this as we felt the tedium of the collectables and we weren't going to sit around collecting them all in this weird to navigate map. The enemies did not make much of a challenge making the game bit boring. The end boss was the only thing that gave me some ounce of real fun. There was a lot to explore, but my patience wore thin due to not being that interesting of a platformer. Although it did look good for what it did. There is some to explore which we did not, but I simply noticed that there was some things here and there that we did miss. We just did not feel the need to go back.

Bryce Bucher – Disparity of the Dead (Great!)

Scare Type: Horror that sticks around even after the game.

Player: My pal

This game I think pulls off the themes of Dread X Collection 3 very, very well! Perhaps the best thematic one? Nevertheless, this is a 3D platformer that lets you talk to fun characters collecting collectables and piece together a mystery. The topics that which the game introduces to you are all very good and sad in many ways. It also had a lingering effect on me personally. This lingering horror reminded me of SOMA by Frictional Games. Anyways, the game in general is not horrifying until you get to a certain point. Then when the actual ending plays, it all gets sad. We do not know if there are different endings, but the ending we did get was a sad one in my opinion and was great.

Amon Twentysix – Bete Grise (Cool!)

Scare Type: Uneasy, then relief!

Player: Me

I really liked the aesthetics of this game, reminded me a lot of some obscure old-school games. The gameplay is mostly of you going floor to floor doing cleaning and... repairing? Anyways, there are a few hints here and there that foreshadow the great revelation at the end. I saw some of them and felt very uneasy when going through the process as it all felt like a facade. But once the revelation hit, the game turned into something more funny, stylish and well, just felt good. Its rare for a horror game to kinda blue ball you into satisfaction.

DIRIGO GAMES – REACTOR (Disappointing)

Scare Type: Betrayal

Player: My Homie

This is a game I spoiled myself with, which is why I had my friend play it instead. The game is mostly a walking simulator in which it feels like you shouldnt be there in the bad/useless way as there is a robot buddy who keeps you company and doing everything for you. When the time comes, you are then obviously, chased to the ending of the game. Its not scary, sad. Its just a simple experience. The aesthetics of the game is great, by being a gradient of blacks and whites as well as minimal uses of colour. Other than that, this is disappointing.

Moya Horror/Amos – Nice Screams at Funfair (humorously frustrating)

Scare Type: Dont fail

Player: Me

This is a very short game that was short enough for us to also explore a different ending. There is no real inherent horror here. Its mostly thematic to being like Halloween. The game has you serving icecream to people, the challenge is to serve them the ice cream that they want, and take the money into your tip jar or cash register. The real challenge is the controls, as throwing ice cream into the ice cream cones often fails for no reason, and clicking on to activate anything just sometimes did not work. Resulting in funny scenarious. We got 2 different endings for this, one that made sense, and another that we didnt understand. The game looked great, the intro did not have to be as long as it did but it was a fun little ride.

Basalt Tower – Matter OVER Mind (Woah!)

Scare Type: Loosing progress...

Player: My Amigo

Matter over mind absolutely felt like an old-school platformer, it was also unique, colourful and funny/cute! Crawling around as a little parasitical monster and possessing scientists in order to escape the labs just looked great. Like many of these games, it had a collectible that meant... NOTHING. And if you died collecting them, you will loose them all. Prompting you to reset the entire game. Nevertheless, it was an impressive game that felt great.

Corpsepile – Submission (Fuck yeah!)

Scare Type: Scary, but also funny

Player: Me

This game had so many unique and cool twists and ideas. Maybe one of the best games in this collection. It was absolutely creative, funny... everything! It was also scary at times, referencing P.T. Its puzzles were great and fun, so much good about this one! The gameplay switches often, the horror amps up... Man... Submission was super good! Cant really say much other than that.

Torple Dook – Chip’s Tips (Funny!)

Scare Type: Friendly?

Player: My guy

Super creative point and click adventure game, hamming it up to 101%. It is also so patronizingly friendly that it becomes funny. Probably the most unique game on this list. And you can pet the dog in this game. I absolutely love the aesthetics of the unhinged masked textures, as well characters being flat cutouts. What is sad is this game feels like the end to Torple Dook’s streak of being in Dread X Collection games as it references his previous 2 games as well as more.

Breogan Hackett – Bubbo: Adventure on Geralds Island (Woah! x2)

Scare Type: JUMP

Player: Me

A very well done 3D platformer, with some challenge. The game is not scary, although it does come to a point. The platforming was very good albeit a tiny bit weird when turning in a specific way. It also features hidden collectibles that we unfortunately did not find all and left it at that. It sounded and felt good, looked good and was fun to get to the end with. There are different endings, we (me) only got to see 1. I jumped at the right time and made my way out!

Modus Interactive – EDEN: Garden of the Faultless (Chaos?)

Scare type: None, just weird.

Player: My hombre

This is literally a game akin to raising your Chaos in Sonic Adventure games. Just that you raise your little Evangelion. This game I think, has the best Ps1 look than the other games. It has a very weird control scheme, as well as being weird in its own right. And it nails the aesthetics very well. Too bad the game is finicky or boring, sporting long paths and lots of waiting. I guess you could have some fun minmaxing your wittle angel. I guess you always need at least one super unorthodox entry in a collection.

Adam Pype & Viktor Kraus – SPOOKWARE @ The Video Store (Quintessential)

Scare Type: brief moments of panic

Player: Both of us

This game... is actually really fun. Spookware is literally Wario ware but with horror movie themed events. The style, game and everything is perfect. Although very short, I would honestly buy a game like this if it was fully complete. I also think this is the most fitting game for the theme of the collection. Although, not much is done about the “inevitability of death” theme here, but everything else about it carries the collection thematicly. Such a fun and quirky little game.

-------------

Conclusions

And so, the best games in the collection In my opinion were...

#1 Submission AND Spookware

#2 Chips Tips

#3 Disparity of the Dead

The collection was not at all as scary as the first or the second collection. Although, that is understandable as it had a more Fun and goofy vibe to it. I love seeing these collections and it introduces me to people ive never heard of before. Like Viktor Kraus who made the music, like in the trailer for the collection. Thats a great one. I wish to keep seing them make these and I hope that it is profitable for them in the end as well.

[flopsider]

What Makes a Paper Mario Game Great?

*This post was turned into a script for a Game Domain video which I’ll post here once it’s out!

The Paper Mario game series has undergone massive changes with its last few installments. Most fans can agree that the first 3 (or, if you’re strictly fond of the formula from Paper Mario 64 and The Thousand Year Door, the first 2) games achieved something brilliant. They cemented Mario’s role in the RPG world, providing players with unforgettable experiences that left many with powerful nostalgia and an urge to revisit the titles as they grew older. However, with the newer titles, the gaming community’s feelings on the franchise have been shaken. Once Nintendo began to develop Paper Mario as an Action-Adventure series, many fans were left feeling like the company stopped listening to its fans and were taking the series in an unwelcome new direction. For some fans, however, particularly younger players who are just now discovering the Paper Mario games through the newer titles, these new changes and formulas offer some very enjoyable experiences. Undoubtedly, nostalgia plays a huge role in how we view video games, but there is more at play here than just sentiment. The question I’d like to pose, then, is “What Makes a Paper Mario Game Great?”

Let’s take a look at the individual games and see which areas they thrive in, and what holds them back. Keep in mind that every opinion listed here is just that: an opinion. I’ve tried to be objective in my analyses here, but like all people, I have biases and nostalgia which affect my opinions of video games, so don’t take what I say as the undisputed truth. This is simply my attempt to answer the question posed as best as I can, so if you disagree, let me know peacefully and respectfully in the comments!

 Paper Mario 64

 I feel like this game is the perfect entry to the series. It has a charming art style that I feel still holds up, offers fantastic gameplay and controls and a solid battle system, and has memorable characters. The main things that hold it back are the more basic storyline and villain, and the less unique character types compared to the next 2 games. However, both of these things can be forgiven since it was the first entry to the series. The chapters are all joys to explore, the leveling system is satisfying and allows for customization, and the badges are a great way to personalize Mario based on your playstyle. Paper Mario 64 laid the groundwork for the games that would follow, and most of the aspects of its formula would evolve throughout the next two entries.

 Paper Mario: TTYD

 There’s not much I can say about this that hasn’t been said before, but in summary, this game took everything that made Paper Mario 64 great and evolved it into something phenomenal. It built upon the battle system, offering what is widely considered to be the best battling in any Paper Mario game. The audience feature made battles livelier and more exciting, offering further incentive to pursue optional enemy encounters. It gave players new attacks and new ways to orchestrate them, with less repetitive actions than in the first game. It offered a much deeper, darker story with compelling antagonists, partners and NPCs unique to this game which made the world feel alive, and side quests that allowed you to progress through the game and level up your character in a less linear way. The world was crafted beautifully, with areas that stand out in many players’ memories and are far less formulaic than the typical Mario worlds. There were tons of secrets and areas to explore, as well as the first iteration of the Pit of 100 Trials, a side quest arguably more challenging than the game’s final boss. It’s no wonder this is likely the most acclaimed Paper Mario title to date. 

 Super Paper Mario

 First and foremost, I have tons of nostalgia for SPM. It’s maybe my favorite video game of all time, or at least in the top 3. It’s the first Paper Mario game I ever played (I was 7 or 8 years old and have since replayed it many times), and when I played it I had never heard of Paper Mario. There’s a chance that if I instead played 64 and/or TTYD first, I’d be more partial to those games because of nostalgia. However, I truly believe that, nostalgia aside, SPM provides the best overall game experience. I also think that if SPM had come first, and the creators then shifted into a more straightforward RPG style over time, it would be less polarizing.

The move away from turn based combat and into the more classic Mario platforming/real time combat was bold, but not universally appreciated. I totally get why some people feel it was a bad change. If you were in love with the camera perspective, movement, and combat mechanics of the first two, this may be less fulfilling. However, if you are a huge fan of platformers, then it’s certainly a welcome new angle. And if you’re like me and you grew up enamored with classic 2-D Mario platforming action, but also fell in love with the style, RPG elements, and stories of the first two Paper Mario games, then you’ll likely find the perfect mix of the two in SPM. Plus, I feel like turn based combat was never the basis of the Paper Mario franchise, or at least was not the core concept that made the games great. Some people disagree with that, but I personally believe that all the before listed criteria make up the greatness that is the Paper Mario series, and I think Super Paper Mario lives up to them. Despite its many differences, Super Paper Mario felt like a true successor to TTYD. The graphics were quite similar aside from the camera angles, the dialogue and storytelling were stylistically similar but done even better this time around, and several elements were revisited such as the Pit of 100 Trials. I loved the turn-based combat in 64 and TTYD, but I also adored the platforming and real time combat of SPM. Overall, I just feel SPM has the most to offer and provides the most unique, thrilling, and memorable experience. The New 2-D / 3-D switch feature quite literally adds a whole new dimension to the game. I think this is super interesting and fun to use, and it allows for more interesting level and puzzle design. It offered a nice balance since much of the game is played 2-D style whereas the first two entries were set in a 3-D space. Without the 3-D option it’d still be a great game, but might end up feeling a little basic by comparison. The Pixls, in my opinion, are a fantastic reimagining of the partner system. Since the game ditched turn-based combat in favor of platforming combat, the Pixls affect your movement, attack, and defense abilities in real time and can be swapped quickly. This makes platforming, fighting, and movement in general more fun and varied. In my opinion, they’re a fresh take on partners, and even though I love the old partner system, I see this as a welcome new take on it. Flipside and Flopside serve as effective and memorable hub worlds where you can touch base after exploring other dimensions. They have tons of explorable areas, puzzles, characters, and secrets, all of which contribute to the world development. The NPC’s helped add depth and contribute to the lore, with the Flipside and Flopside bartenders being the best examples. The ability to play as 4 different characters, each with different special abilities and movement characteristics was a huge step forward and made the level design much more interesting. In several areas, you have to utilize all available characters to access certain areas, some secret and some required. The best example of this in my opinion is in Castle Bleck, where in order to effectively maneuver around the platforming challenges and access secret areas you have to take advantage of Mario’s ability to flip into 3-D, Peach’s parasol gliding, and Luigi’s super jump, while Bowser is your key to easily clearing rooms of tough enemies. Maybe the least controversial thing I could say about this game is that it has a phenomenal story, the best of any Paper Mario game to date in my opinion. It’s darker than any other Mario game I’ve played, and despite its cartoony appearance, the stakes were higher than ever. It had incredibly memorable characters, small bits of backstory at the end of each chapter which slowly reveal the connection between the antagonist and Mario’s partner Tippi, excellent dialogue and humor, and a darker plot than any Mario game I’ve played. This is balanced by the game’s colorful visuals and soundtrack which make it a joy to play. The game had an inspired world design with bold style choices. For example, in the space levels of Chapter 4, the game temporarily becomes a Defender type horizontal space shoot ‘em up. It was a perfect blend of the RPG style from the first two games and the side scrolling platforming of older Super Mario games. The music is a fantastic mix of retro and modern, a concept mirrored in the graphics and gameplay. All in all, Super Paper Mario is a perfect blend of old and new. 

Okay, clearly, I have a lot of love for this game. But I want to be as objective as possible here, so let’s look at some of its shortcomings. The XP system was more basic than the first two games. It being present was a huge plus, but when you level up, it upgrades a predetermined stat (HP or attack) as opposed to you having stat customization. Along these same lines, the lack of badges meant less customization and attack options. Level design wise, some areas felt somewhat empty in 3-D. I didn’t really feel like this as a kid, but as an adult I feel like they could’ve done more with the 3-D perspective in certain areas. In some places, they totally nailed it though. 

 That brings us to the more recent, more divisive action-adventure titles. To preface, I have the least experience with these games, and the majority of my familiarity with them is from reading articles and watching videos which analyze them and compare them to the older games. So I’ll try not to be too critical, as I’d like to play them all the way through before completely solidifying my opinion on them. That being said, you can learn a lot about a game by watching gameplay footage and reading analyses of them, so I’ll do what I can to go over their pros and cons.

 For all three of the newest titles, it’s worth noting that I didn’t include the world being made of Paper in the list of what makes these games great. I don’t hate the jokes, comments, or visual references to paper and crafts in these games. In fact, sometimes I think they’re quite clever and add to the feel of the game. However, in the first 3 “classic” Paper Mario games, it wasn’t a major point of plot or world development, but rather something casually referenced in some well-timed jokes. In fact, the first game wasn’t even meant to be a paper based world. It had many titles in development, and the one directly preceding Paper Mario was Mario Story. The name Paper Mario, more than anything, is a reference to the art style being reminiscent of a pop-up book, and is not the basis of the gameplay or world creation. At least until the more recent games, that is. Sticker Star, Color Splash, and Origami King all base many core gameplay mechanics, the visuals, much of the humor, and even some of the world development on everything being made of paper. This is a cute idea, and the graphics in the newer games are undeniably vibrant and beautiful, but it ends up holding the newer games back only because they focus more on paper gimmicks than they do the story, unique character design, and gameplay. To be fair, I haven’t played the newer games completely, and from what I’ve seen, Origami King looks like a phenomenal stand-alone game and a much stronger Paper Mario entry than SS or CS. I just think Arlo summed it up perfectly when he said, “We didn’t love Paper Mario because it was paper, we loved it because it was Mario’s story.” That being said, let’s look at each game and see what they have going for them.

 Paper Mario: Sticker Star

 This is easily the most universally criticized Paper Mario title. Every so often you’ll find someone who will defend it, but for the most part, the fans of the series see this as the point where the games took a turn for the worse. Instead of just adding to the overwhelming pile of hatred for the game, I’m going to try and discuss some specific things that hold it back while giving it credit where credit is deserved. Sticker Star is not irredeemable. It has some of the charm the series is known for, some solid dialogue and humor, and appealing visuals. Unfortunately, there’s not too much more I can give it credit for, at least in the context of the other games in the series. So much of what made the first 3 games great were lost here. One of the most obvious steps backward is the near-total lack of original characters. Instead of a world packed with new NPCs and enemies with distinct personalities, the game almost exclusively utilizes classic Super Mario characters. You’ll see plenty of toads, goombas, and koopas here, and not anything in the realm of demonic shadow queens, members of ancient tribes, or mysterious cape and monocle wearing antagonists threatening the existence of all worlds. The villain here is Bowser, which is not just disappointing because it’s formulaic, but it almost feels like it separates the franchise even further from its roots because of Super Paper Mario’s inclusion of Bowser as a protagonist. The battle system also fails to reward you for entering into enemy encounters, and feels much more basic than the previous games. Overall, my main criticism of this game is that it took several steps backwards and not enough steps forward to justify them.

 Paper Mario: Color Splash

 This game improved upon the action-adventure formula of Sticker Star in almost every way. In that way, it can be seen as a parallel to TTYD, which improved upon its predecessor’s formula. The difference is, TTYD’s predecessor established a formula that was already phenomenal, whereas the groundwork Sticker Star laid for Color Splash was far weaker. Most of the criticisms I have for Sticker Star could be echoed about this game, just less harshly. Speaking more positively, this game had gorgeous visuals (second only to The Origami King), excellent dialogue and humor, and some creative levels, such as the section where you operate the cannons aboard a sailing battleship. 

 Paper Mario: The Origami King

 Overall, The Origami King looks to be the strongest Paper Mario entry in years. It seems to have developed the action-adventure formula of its two immediate predecessors, while including a handful of RPG elements. The battle system is both new and familiar - it’s turn based, but the ring system adds a puzzle element that, to some players, makes battles much more enjoyable and to some distracts from the battling itself. Utilizing the rings, it seems like there are far more creative ways to reach your opponents, but far fewer creative ways to actually attack them. Once again, the world and characters are more formulaic, relying heavily on classic Super Mario locations and characters. However, this game offers more uniqueness than the previous two, starting with the non-Bowser antagonist. The fact that King Olly has a previous close relationship with Mario’s main partner Olivia is reminiscent of Count Bleck and Tippi from Super Paper Mario. This provides the foundation for a better story than Sticker Star or Color Splash. In addition, the visuals are undeniably beautiful. It has the best graphics of any Paper Mario game, and some areas are truly striking, particularly the desert oasis area. The huge con of this game is that is triples down on Nintendo’s shifting of the Paper Mario series away from its RPG roots and toward a more formulaic action-adventure approach. The major positive is that it seems to be a solid game in its own right, one which makes much better use of the new formula than Sticker Star or Color Splash did. It’s got loads of charm and some solid gameplay, but if you’re looking for an experience comparable to the first 2 or 3 Paper Mario games, you’ll likely be left wanting something different from it. 

 So let’s return to the original question. Based on what we discussed about each title, what makes a Paper Mario game great? I’ve done my best to narrow down what I consider to be the 10 most important criteria that, when met sufficiently, provide the best possible Paper Mario experience. These are:

A compelling story with unique characters

Partners to assist in combat and movement

Clever dialogue

Visually appealing art style

Exploration

Puzzles and Secrets

Cohesive world design with unique areas

An XP system which rewards combat

World development and lore

And finally, a willingness to go darker than other     Mario games

 There are plenty of other criteria I could add to the list, but these are the main ones which stood out to me as I analyzed each game for their strengths and weaknesses. 

 Answering the question of what makes a Paper Mario game great is not a simple task, nor is it an objective one. As I said before, my nostalgia for Super Paper Mario is a huge part of why I discuss it so positively. I truly believe it’s worthy of the praise, and I stand by the opinions I’ve stated for the other games as well, but my thoughts on each game in this series are my own, and many of you will and should have different thoughts on them. So share them in the comments, and keep it respectful! 

[ranger-report]

Thoughts On: HEXEN II

After developing two fantastic games utilizing the id tech 1 engine -- also known as the DOOM engine -- Raven Software found themselves once again at the forefront of technological advancement when their neighbors id Software released a little game called Quake. Using a brand new, fully 3D rendered engine, Quake revolutionized first person shooters and PC gaming graphics. After the successes of Heretic and Hexen, Raven was deep in the throes of developing a third game in their dark fantasy series, this one titled Hecatomb. Sadly, this game never came to pass, as John Romero (who’d had heavily helped develop the previous two games) left id Software to found his own company, abandoning Hecatomb in the process. At this point, Activision Publishing acquired Raven and the rights to distribute future games they developed. Activision told Raven that they wanted to see the Heretic and Hexen games split into two separate franchises as both games were different in gameplay styles. So rather than a final third game to wrap up a trilogy, ideas from Hecatomb were then split between Hexen II and Heretic II. While this yielded mixed results, we’ll look first at Hexen II, a game that was highly anticipated upon release, and whose legacy is an uneven yield.

The story this time around is that the third and final Serpent Rider, Eidolon, has taken over the word of Thyrion. Separated into four lands, Thyrion is infested with Eidolon’s minions, and it’s up to one of four warriors to take him down: the Crusader, Assassin, Necromancer, and Paladin. What’s neat about this premise is that each of the warriors comes from one of the four lands --  Blackmarsh, Mazaera, Thysis, and Septimus, respectively. And each land has a different cultural theme -- Medieval European, Mesoamerican, Ancient Egyptian, and Greco-Roman, also respectively. Also very interesting about this setup is that each land is being ruled by one of the Four Fucking Horsemen of the Apocalypse -- Famine, Death, Pestilence, and War also also respectively. Off the jump there is a lot going on here, a lot more detail than the previous two games about the worlds and what is happening. This works to the game’s credit in attempting to set up a distinct world for this entry in the game series, but somehow, it falls a little flat. In previous games the player encounters a variety of monsters and enemies that all carry over from hub to hub, level to level, giving the player a chance to learn their attacks and be aware of how to defend themselves. There’s also overarching aesthetics that maintain a steady, immersive feel to the worlds presented. Hexen II’s decision to split the hubs into unique lands works against it, as each land as its own unique enemies and aesthetic and architecture. Just as the player has a chance to get used to enemy tactics and tricks (thanks to some stellar AI work), those strategies are abandoned as the next world is loaded up with new enemies and new look, throwing the player off and breaking the immersion. As much as I tried to get into it, what it ends up feeling like is the standard issue Water World, Fire World, Sand World, etc of old NES platformers. This is not to say that the worlds aren’t good looking, however -- Raven modified the shit out of id tech 2′s textures and polygonal aspects, crafting a still-gorgeous game which takes full advantage of the technology.

Progression here is also slightly different from the previous Hexen, but is a very welcome course change. Each character class has different skills and abilities, and as you play through the game, you’ll gain experience and level up. Returning from the previous game are the fact that each class has their own four weapons, using 1) no mana ammo 2) blue mana 3) green mana and 4) both mana. As usual, the fourth weapons need to be assembled from pieces in order to be used, but what overpowered destruction they bring. My favorite class is Crusader, whose skills and weapons focus on defensive measures, but his ultimate weapon is the Light bringer. It fires a steady stream of what can basically be called pure light, burning through any enemy in a matter of seconds, and the drain on Mana is negligible. It’s possible to reach the max level of 12 through the game, and each character receives a new passive ability at levels 3 and 6. It’s always nice to notice that you’ve gained a level during the adventure, but it usually happens well after the fact. I had a difficult time hearing the audio cue to let me know that I’d leveled up and now had extra health, or new ability. I had to go into the revamped inventory screen, which now shows key quest items as well as the current items in your pocket.

In fact, Hexen II’s biggest immediate suffering is that there seems to be a lack of feedback. There’s little in the way of gratifying sound or feel whenever your attacks land, which is doubly frustrating when most attacks are ranged and as far away from the very deadly monsters. Up close and personal melee attacks seem to have a weird range, sometimes being able to hit at different distances, but it’s hard to know exactly how and when that’s going to happen. The inventory system is fine, objects work they way they’re supposed to. Most of the problems come from the early usage of id tech 2. Quake is not a game designed around interactivity, despite Hexen II being the exact opposite. id tech 2 takes away the Action button, so you walk into panels or switches to operate them, no button mashing required. There’s also no minimap, so navigating become a trying issue. But projectiles in this game don’t seem to have an impact; there’s no oomph to it, similarly to Quake’s monster who rarely stagger when hit. This is a problem because multiple times will occur when you’re firing rapidly at damage-sponge enemies, wondering if you’ve hit them enough to count, counting each shot, watching your steadily diminishing mana fall away, waiting hoping praying that this isn’t another time where you’re going to be forced to use the melee weapon, and then they are suddenly dead and you didn’t know they were close to death. It’s not as frustrating in the early levels, where you’re Level 1 and Everything Hurts and Everything Takes A Lot To Kill. But by Level 9, there are bigger, badder, more horrifying enemies who soak up so much damage that it feels like a Thoroughly Epic Duel every single time. This, perhaps, is meant to make up for the fact that -- unlike Hexen which sent waves of hordes of squads of monsters at the player at once -- Hexen II lobbies much fewer enemies at a time. In fact, I’m hard pressed to remember any time I fought more than five at a time, and even that is a generous number. But since each of the enemies are so much more resilient, anything more than three becomes an exercise in dodging and weaving and running for cover in order to get in a few shots and quaff a drink from a healing elixir, because these fuckers hit, hit hard, and hurt harder. Especially the Four Horsemen, who are so intense and difficult that I was convinced for a moment that the game was building up to a boss run near the end that would have been insurmountable. Fortunately, thank fuck, there wasn’t. And yet, while the increased difficulty of the enemies comes with the bonus of impressive AI (most notable in the Were-Jaguar warriors, who leap and roll and attack like real human opponents), it also comes with the downside of empty stretches of pathfinding. Where in Hexen enemies would respawn with abandon in an effort to wear down the player, Hexen II seemingly keeps a limit on the number of enemies involved on a map. Once they’re dead, they’re dead, which then makes wandering around afterwards an exercise in frustrated boredom searching for clues and hints to the puzzles.

Speaking of which, while feedback and aesthetics are weak points, if there’s anything that the game truly bounces players out of the game, it’s the puzzles. Blackmarsh is host to one of the most infamous puzzle glitches in the series, possibly in all RPG gaming, the solution to which is based on how your character enters a particular courtyard. Depending on which turn the player takes, this will then spawn a clue in one of three locations based on your entry point, along with the necessary quest item in one of three locations after gathering the clue. However, the clue itself can be accidentally destroyed. It can also be missed entirely, and if you don’t find the clue you can’t go directly to the quest item location knowing the solution -- it can only be solved in the order of clue, location, item. So if you somehow miss or even destroy the clue itself -- and Hexen II is rife with destructible items holding hidden mana and health so chances are you’re breaking a lot of shit -- you’re out of luck. I discovered this far, far too late, and had to start the whole game over because I didn’t have a recent enough save file that I could utilize to go back to. Thankfully, this was fairly early on in the game, but it serves as a brutal low point that comes back to haunt the player in the Egyptian levels, where a maddeningly opaque puzzle involving time travel and astrology nearly drove me to a walkthrough and early onset baldness. Elsewhere, puzzles are item-based rather than key-based like in Hexen, which revolve around gathering items, transporting them to a location, and then receiving either a new item or a key. Sometimes these items need to be altered or transmutated; the game is questionably vague about what is necessary sometimes. Fortunately, despite the veiled hints, most fetch quests are simple enough to solve. But the lack of enemies giving way to empty hallways and corridors makes those fetch quests empty and tedious, moreso than they ought to be.

Hexen II isn’t a bad game by any means. It’s very much a product of 1997. New technology, advancements in PC gaming, experimentation with new control schemes and movements, a lot of games at the time featured both innovation and frustration in equal measure. Hexen II is a solid game at its core, with great direction from the returning team, a great soundtrack, fantastic graphics and sound design, and RPG progression. But all of these upgrades come at the cost of a more simplistic version of Hexen that is somehow trying to have the straightforward run-n-gun gameplay of Heretic and the brutal dungeon crawl of Hexen. Puzzles suffer, shooting mechanics suffer, and immersion suffers. What it ends up being is Hexen Lite, not as good as the original, but fine on its own. Would I go back and play it? Sure, at some point I’d love to, but it didn’t draw me in the same way that Hexen did, not even as much as Heretic. But it’s a Quake engine game (which I’m a sucker for) and a 1997 game (which I’m a sucker for, goddammit), and despite its flaws it represents a moment in gaming which I can’t help but be nostalgic for. Your mileage may vary, but be advised that there are other, bigger, bolder versions of this experience that Hexen II has inspired, and while this may have inspired quite a few, it hasn’t aged as well as its predecessors.

Next up: we close off the Thoughts On series of Heretic/Hexen games with Heretic II. And if Hexen II was a different experience in order to differentiate itself as a unique series, Heretic II goes above and beyond to set itself apart....for better and for worse.

[skizzlers]

A list of every Sonic game I've played in the order I like them because I couldn't sleep at 3am. (Didn't include Sonic Advance 1-3 because it's been too long since I've played it. Also 90% of these have good soundtracks so I didn't really touch on it.)

1. Sonic Mania

All time favorite because I'm a very nostalgic person and this game feels like a love-letter to my childhood. Every detail is thought of, it feels like you're playing every side-scrolling Sonic game at once!

2. Sonic the Hedgehog 3

First Sonic game I really remember playing. I adored Tails (still do!) And I used to fly around all the levels to see what Sonic couldn't reach. Also the save feature and ability to re-visit levels was super sweet!

3. Sonic Adventure 2

My favorite 3d Sonic game. I love the different gameplay styles that come with the different characters, and THE CHAO GARDEN!!! The bosses are a little weird, considering you're kinda beating yourself when you switch sides? (Knuckles vs Rouge, Shadow vs Sonic) Also this game has a sick soundtrack!

4. Sonic the Hedgehog 2

This game was much easier for me to get the hang of as a kid compared to the original. Took me years to beat because of the lack of a save feature though, and I never got past the third special stage. Overall just generally fun to play! You really feel like a speedy blue hedgehog, and the stages are memorable.

5. Sonic CD

Never really got to play this one until my teens. Haven't beat it yet, haven't had the time. I like the added challenge of making good futures too instead of just g o f a s t. The levels are a bit more complex and more puzzling than your other 2d Sonic games, but not frustratingly so like in the original.

6. Sonic Generations

Ironicly enough this was my first introduction to the modern boost mechanic. I liked how the stages worked in both styles, and the hub-world is fun to jump around in and isn't confusing at all. Also, I like collecting things in videogames, and there is a bit of that required to progress, although Cream beating my ass in the chao levels is frustrating to say the least.

7. Sonic Adventure

I understand this is an old videogame but the graphics make it a little hard to take seriously. When I know where I am supposed to go the stages are fun but who the fuck thought fishing would be fun in a Sonic game? Big's entire character is like someone sat down and said, "do you know what Sonic isn't? Slow and tedious! Let's add that to the game!" Also I like the variety in character options and story perspectives. (Not to mention classic memes like Knuckles' oh no)

8. Sonic Spinball

Another classic! Few but interesting levels. Not much else to say really, I liked the text commentary.

9. Sonic 3d Blast

I've noticed a lot of people say this is one of the worst Sonic games but I enjoy it! Like I said earlier, I like collecting things though.

10. Sonic Riders

I always kinda sucked at this game. Might've been more fun if I wasn't a solo gamer however. I liked the battle royale mode better than the main game to be honest. I like the character variety and the differing skill sets, and the stages themselves are fun to ride through and mess around with but the cpus are t o u g h. I would like this game a bit better if you could adjust the difficulty.

11. Sonic & Knuckles

I loved Mushroom Hill Zone and how it phases through the seasons, but I always died in Flying Battery Zone, and if I didn't Sandopolis zone would usually drain my will to go on with it's looping segments and light gimmik. I really enjoy being able to climb walls and access different spaces with Knuckles though! And the special stages were pretty fun.

12. Sonic the Hedgehog

Ah, the game that started it all. Classic. Green Hill Zone is fun as can be even without the spindash, but Marble Zone really takes all of that speedy fun to a halt with its small spaces and lava pits. Don't even get me started on goddamn Labrinth Zone... nothing kills my drive to continue the game than that zone. Aside from the two afformentioned zones, the rest are pretty fun!

13. Shadow the Hedgehog

I feel like this game is a bit underrated because it stars Sir Edgelord, but I enjoyed it a lot! The style and feel reminded me a lot of Sa2, and I like how your actions can affect your alignment and your ending. Unfortunantly my copy was badly scratched and I could only achieve a handful of the endings.

14. Sonic Unleashed

I only recently got this game. It's ok. I liked playing the normal stages as Sonic, but I wasn't a huge fan of the werehog stages, they just don't feel like Sonic to me. They're growing on me a little but that goddamn fight music is annoying as fuck. Sonic games are known for good music, but what do we get anytime you touch an enemy at night? Bland generic fight music that sounds like it belongs in the Incredibles or James Bond. It doesn't fit sonic at all. If something as simple as the battle music was better, I'd like this game a lot more. The werehog stages in general just don't feel like Sonic. They're slow and focus on brute strength. They could have just had Knuckles fill that role. I like a little-bit of the puzzle solving but again - Tails. Sonic doesn't need to do everything.

15. Sonic Heroes

Wow, Heroes at the bottom of my list? Shocker! I know this is a more popular one but I'm just not a fan. In theory it sounds like a good idea to handle teams of characters with different abilities, but I prefer to control these characters one at a time. I don't like constantly needing to shift between characters just to progress in one stage. I must confess, the game is growing on me however.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Wasn’t gonna do a 5x11 post, but ya know what? It was a good one, and it’s fun to talk about stuff ya like.

SPOILERS.

Folks this one is LONG:

Admittedly, I don’t really understand what Brainy did with the rock and the stick, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because we get Motorcycle Brainy.

I appreciate that nearly every character on this show has the impulse to go out and get a black Stealth Outfit and procure a motorcycle whenever they gotta do clandestine, under-cover stuff. (See also: Lucy, Kara, Alex, J’onn.)

ALSO appreciate the ongoing commitment to characters showing they care via food, as seen in the Breakup Feast scene. 

I’ve seen this episode four times and it’s only JUST occurring to me that Lex is grabbing some of Evil!Winn’s hair and not just creepily picking lint off his shirt, after their little chat.

Lena Laments to Lex! Lost Lots of Lobe Legwork.

And then NAT CITY TOY CON! 

Lex’s action figure is safe for children ages 5 and up, AND the articulation allows for lots of action and superhero poses!

(That thing has NO visible leg or arm joints, Lex will not be doing ANY action posing, whatsoever. XD)

But, for real: It’s a pretty great prop. The packaging is spot on. 

Love all the Supergirl action figures in the background too. (AND WITH THE NEW SUIT I am envious of Earth Prime.)

Get ‘im William, GET ‘IM.

The Lex and Kara scene was GREAT, loved the recorder smash.

Then dramatic slow walk with wiiiiiind, very nice.

CAPE SAVE

WINN

Absolutely love the moment between him, Alex, and Kara when he reveals he has a family. 

AND HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER ARE LOVELY. THAT KIDDO IS SO CUTE.

Group huuuuuuug

‘I might have missed you just a little bit.’ ‘Me too, just a little.’ ‘Yeah, well, I missed you, like, A LOT.’

Side note: Really dig Winn’s superhero outfit. 

“I wanted to apologize to you, for how I treated you after you took my mother’s medallion.”

*Skeptical Thor face* Is it really hers though?

(Answer: No.)

Okay OKAY now we get to the REALLY GOOD PART but first, a bit of appreciation for Winn referencing Sam Spade.

Alright, are we ready? ARE WE READY????

J’onn’s office (which is ALREADY a cool set) gets a SECRET ELEVATOR that leads tooooo...

THE TOWwait, whoops, almost forgot:

Kara’s total nerd reaction to the secret elevator and Alex’s elder sibling-ly ‘don’t push’ while actually pushing Winn are just. *chef’s kiss*

Okay, we’re back: THE TOWER!!!!!

Complete with PAPA BEAR HUG for Best Son Winn!

I like J’onn’s Martian vest, though I do feel like he should get some finger-less gloves, or something, to complete the look.

“In the future they call it the Hall of Justice.” “I like that.”

“So like STAR Labs.” “Or the Arrow Bunker.” “A place where my Superfriends can work, whenever they should need it.” 

1.) I don’t know why the casual references to the other shows are throwing me, it’s not like they haven’t done it before...maybe it’s the fact that characters besides Kara have this kind of...lived-in familiarity with this stuff that’s otherwise been reserved for her, due to the nature of JUST the lead visiting the other shows. 2.) It occurs to me that Supergirl, the show, never had a central hub like the Arrow Bunker or Star Labs that’s just for the main characters. (Well, I guess the Office of Solitude counts? Kind of?) All of the sets (aside from Kara’s Loft and J’onn’s office which are like...living spaces) require at least a handful of extras milling around in the background. I don’t know where I was going with this....*Marge Simpson voice* I just think it’s neat. 3.) J’onn calling them his Superfriends!!!! :D

“What are you gonna call it?” “I was thinking...The Tower.” “COOL.”

Kara you lovable nerd, you.

The cut from the Martian Memory Meld to Winn’s puking is comedic gold.

“And James runs a small town newspaper and mentors children? That’s adorable!”

You can tell who’s only watching the show via gifs, because this line threw them.

Alex being like, ‘BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.’ XD

Evil!Winn’s message has Jim Carrey Riddler energy. I think it’s that ‘Let’s play to win!’ bit that does it.

Aaaand some other stuff occurs. Lex and Brainy talk, The Kara and William stuff at CatCo, Evil!Winn’s warehouse lair.

But then BACK TO THE TOWER for more nerding out and some lovely heart-to-hearts!

Winn telling Nia about Nura: :D :D :D

And then OOOOOH BOY, my favorite scene: Kara and Winn.

It starts off great, with Kara being like, ‘I bet you’re a great dad.’ And then Winn gets to talk about being a dad! And naming his little girl after his mom! ‘It was either that or Winifred.’ Heart AND humor??? AND THEN: “KARA WAS AN OPTION.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW

BUT THEN WINN’S LIKE, ‘EVERYONE IN THE FUTURE NAMES THEIR KID KARA’ HECK YEAH THEY DO

 And then the scene continued to be great but I will admit that I was gripped with a sudden, terrible fear that when Kara mentioned not being too thrilled with her ‘legend’ she was gonna talk about how she betrayed Lena yet again but THANK GOODNESS IT WASN’T THAT.

Instead what we got was this nice little exchange about Kara feeling like she’s endangering William, and Winn being like: ‘you put ME in danger but I always trusted you to protect me’ which is a LOVELY bit of trust and reassurance and a nice deconstruction of the idea that heroes have to distance themselves from others in order to best protect them. Supergirl the TV show has always said and will always say NOPE.

STRONGER TOGETHER.

“Being in your orbit...it’s inspiring.” “You.”

I JUST LOVE KARA HAVING THEM THERE GOOD FRIENDSHIPS.

Then Wicked Winn’s Warehouse! Followed By Lex on a Legion Ship! Learning of Leviathan!

The Obsidian pitch sounds TOTALLY legit, can’t IMAGINE how that could be exploited for evil.

Then Toyman’s Terrible Tigers! Which Brainy Tries to Tame! 

And, look. You’re either the kind of person that watches these DCTV shows and rolls your eyes at on-the-nose music cues, ooooor you’re the kind of person that applauds that kind of go-for-broke attitude.

I am one of the latter.

(BUT it’s always just gonna be...really hard to top The Flash using “Flash Gordon” as Barry jumps into a black hole.)

ANYWAYS.

Always cool to see Kara speed folks away from danger. Very nice!

Whoops, little out of order here, I got excited: prior to the super speed, we have a Winn Stand-off.

(NGL the mental image of Winn singing “Nothing Left to Lose” with his evil counterpart has been amusing me all week long.)

But I digress! Toyman seems to perish in the explosion, but given that this is a two part episode...HMMMM. I think NOT.

(I mean, there’s also the end of episode cliffhanger, so. Yeah, obvious guess is obvious.)

But for the moment, Winn’s future is safe! Yaaaaay!

Then we get the cute moment between Kara and William and YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, I SAID CUTE. BECAUSE IT WAS CUTE.

So please put me firmly in camp: Generally indifferent to ships but certainly not opposed to more cute reporter shenanigans.

(Also she wouldn’t let him have dinner alone with the world’s saddest sandwich.) 

Instead William gets to come to GAME NIGHT!

Everything about that scene is. So good.

The friendly trash-talking! The glasses bit! ‘Marty’! William saving the Jenga tower for Kara! Space Dad being there! 

(Oh, forgot another scene in my haste to rejoice over game night. Winn and Brainy. T’was good.)

(Oh, no, forgot another one: LENA HAS Q-WAVES. THE GOL-DANG MIND CONTROL PLOT CONTINUES.)

And then there’s the cliffhanger and the next episode preview WHICH I’m absolutely looking forward to because MORE WINN and also KARA AND WILLIAM GET TO SING “AFRICA”.

WHICH...thank you, show, for giving us “Africa” after revealing that was Kara’s other choice, but she went with “Intergalactic” back innnnn...season...three? Well the reveal was in season four. But karaoke night proper was in season three. And “Intergalactic” was great! But. 

COME ON.

IT’S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAAAAAAY FROM YOOOOOOOOOU

Anyways. Wonderful episode! A true season highlight! David did such a good job! EVERYONE did such a good job! This fandom is the worst! And I hope that they actually DO stop watching the show, because it will be better for their emotional well-being and mental health, as well as our own!

[vaulthunter426]

Borderlands 3 | What we know...

Just because I’m not sure the best way to present this information, prepare for a long list of new features in Borderlands 3 with my comments because.... well this is my blog. I will not be discussing the two Vault Hunters we’ve seen gameplay of in terms of their action skills and skill trees.

Quality of Life improvements!

Borderlands has aged quite well, BL2 more than BL1 but we can go back to games almost a decade (and actually a decade) old and they still feel great and are tons of fun. After taking about a year hiatus from all Borderlands games, I came back after the Mask of Mayhem trailer and I found myself trying to roll or slide out of the way of charging enemies and merely crouched in front of them. After so long of this, I knew what I wanted out of Borderlands 3...

Sliding, Grappling, Ground Slams - A feature that I was hoping for beyond almost anything else were movement upgrades and boy we got them. The sliding adds a whole new dynamic to fighting a mob of enemies and the grappling opens up a plethora of verticality options. Be sure to be looking up high for hidden chests! The ground slams seem to be an upgraded, more visually appealing version of the ground slams from TPS. Zane cocks back an arm with a Digi-claw before slamming his fist to the ground while Amara leaps into the air slamming both fists to the ground (not to be confused with her Action Skill).

Vending Machines - Instead of manually purchasing each ammo type by spamming our select key on them, we can now purchase the max amount of ammo by pressing a key as we approach the machine, without ever entering the UI.

“Claim Lost Loot” - A new “vending machine” in Sanctuary III collects all the loot we didn’t pick up and store them until we access the machine. Once we activate it, all the loot comes spilling out onto the ground in front of us for us to check out and make sure we didn’t miss anything. No more lost Legendaries!

Sanctuary III is the first hub in the Borderlands franchise that features a unique room for our Vault Hunters! Our room will be tailored to the Vault Hunter of our choice with possible customization options. The wall holds a number of “mounts” where we can showcase our favorite guns as well as a couple spots for a relic, shield, and grenade mod.

Loot Instancing and Level Scaling - Is your buddy ten levels ahead of you? No problem! If you join the game of a friend who is a higher or lower level than you, your damage output will scale accordingly so no one is over or underleveled! Along with this will be loot drops. If you open a chest to a blue and purple rarity pistol, they will be at your level and ready to loot. Your friend will also see a blue and purple rarity pistol, but different manufactures and at their own level. You both can take both pistols from the same chest. All of these options have a toggle feature if you preferred the previous games style.

Claptrap as a General of the Crimson Raiders - It’s nice to know that the Crimson Raiders are continuing on after the death of Roland, but their priorities may be a bit askew if Claptrap is a general... then again maybe his title holds no responsibilities... all about the ego boost.

Lilith as Commander of the Crimson Raiders - Not all that surprising although I was speculating that maybe she had ditched our friends to deal with some of that pent up anger post-Jack. It seems like she has been broadcasting across the galaxy searching for new Vault Hunters, and maybe even “broadcasting” directly into Siren’s minds as a comment by Amara upon meeting Lilith went something like “Oh so you’re the voice in my head.” Sounds like our Guardian Angel...

Marcus - I have no doubt Marcus will be buying and selling us guns, but we do see that in person he will be our go to for SDU’s. This go around the currency used is money opposed to Eridium, similar to our BL1 days.

Moxxi - She still has her bar, this time with four different slot machines, possibly activated by a unique currency each, or rewarding different pools of loot.

Tannis - “Tannis’ Lab + Infirmary” read the sign pointing us toward our old friend, which leaves a noticeable lack of Dr. Zed on Sanctuary III. Was he a fatality of the ill fate that befell Sanctuary 2? Or is he on Pandora?

Ellie - Ellie takes position as our lead engineer / car provider for Borderlands 3, as we no longer have our dear friend Scooter with us (nice decal of him on the outside of the ship though).

Unlockable Vehicles - It looks like we will unlock vehicles as we progress through the story, similar to the Bandit Technical in BL2, but there seems to be World Event / Side Missions that allow us to come across unique vehicles parked across the maps that we can get in and return to a Catch-A-Ride station so that they are available to use any time we like! This means if your vehicle blows up before you can get it registered, you may be out of luck!

Alternate Firing Mode- Initially inthough a couple of gun manufacturers would have alternate firing modes but it almost seemed like every gun during the gameplay reveal had an alternate firing mode.

Hyperion Shields- I’ve been wondering how the shields would work for the Hyperion weapon and it looks like they are ADS activated.

Unique Dialog for our Vault Hunters - A feature introduced during some of the DLC for BL2, as well as through the entirety of TPS was character dialog unique to each Vault Hunter. It is most definitely returning for BL3 and I couldn’t be happier.

Unique Looting for our Vault Hunters? - When Amara opened a chest (really a repurposed car trunk) she punched it open in a similar fashion to Kratos in God of War. Although punching a chest open definitely seems like Amara’s style, I wouldn’t say the same for the other Vault Hunters which makes me wonder if certain chests will have unique opening animations for each VH.

Location: Ascension Bluff - This was the location title card that was on the projection screen after got the initial reveal demo which makes me wonder if the Children of the Vault Propaganda center(?) is on a map called Ascension Bluff. I could be wrong in thinking that, however I’m pretty positive that all of that was on Pandora.

Location: Meridian Metroplex - Some interesting reveals about the city we’ve seen from the trailers! The Meridian Metroplex is on Promethea, and has become an Atlas controlled city. For some this is great, for others not so much. Maliwan seems to be attacking the city with their new ally...

Locations: So far we have Pandora and Promethea listed as worlds we can visit but I believe it was Paul Sage also confirmed an Asteroid(?) map that will feature low-gravity similar to (but not quite the same as) TPS.

Tyreen + Troy Calypso / The Calypso Twins- These two are fucking Borderlands equivalent douche twitch streamers. They’ve leveraged this position (or vice - versa?) into being Cult Leaders for the Children of the Vault.

They have broadcast stations scattered around the galaxy that we can destroy / turn off as a world event style challenge.

Tyreen is a Siren who can leech the life and power out of other living beings. Being a Siren, she’s convinced her followers that she is their God - Queen. Troy is merely piggy-backing off the fact that she has all the influence, or it seems that way to me.

Tyreen has streamed her ability of sucking the life out of beings to her many followers, and to the Vault Hunters who she calls her most loyal follower yet.

What’s a cult without its followers? Instead of our typical “Bandit” enemies, it seems like the main enemy faction of that caliber has been rebranded to Fanatics.

Tyreen has struck a deal with the Head of Mergers and Acquisitions for Maliwan, a guy named Katagawa (some dweeb who hates / envies / is jealous of Rhys, but also makes sense why he wants control of Atlas) and so mobs of both the Maliwan Assault Troopers and the Fanatics will be fighting you at the same time.

Randy Pitchford has let on that Tyreen is using the bandits, and probably her Maliwan allies, as a tool to find the Vaults so that she can gain the power of the Vault Monsters.

Zer0 has left the Crimson Raiders and is working with / for Rhys under the Atlas corporation, at least while the money and weapons are good.

Crimson Lance became the Crimson Raiders after Atlas fell and they joined Roland’s cause in Sanctuary. Now that Atlas is being ran by CEO Rhys, they are called Atlas Soldiers.

New Element : Radiation - Irradiated enemies will take damage and are also more susceptible to other damage types. An irradiated enemy can spread the effect to other enemies surrounding them. Upon death, an irradiated enemy will reach critical mass and explode.

Barrels - Elemental variety barrels can now be melee’d to launch at enemies before shooting them and causing them to explode.

Pipelines -Certain pipelines can be shot to cause radiation spills, or oil slicks that can then be ignited to cause an AOE of damage.

Enemies / Mini Bosses - There will be more mini bosses in Borderlands 3, and the weapons they use against you can be dropped so that you can use that gun on future enemies.

NPC - Certain NPC’s will assist you on missions, like Lorelei and Zer0, and then can also be downed. You can revive NPC’s and they can also revive you.

Paul Sage (Gearbox Developer?) - Paul made the comment about the low-grav environments as well as stating that if you “beeline through the story” it will take around 30 hours. Upon questioning if the guns in the reveal were better than what we will find (because of the basically non-existant recoil) he stated that in the past they’ve worked there way up to really good guns in terms of level progression, but this time they wanted to know if they could “start good, and make it fucking awesome.” So yeah. Guns are gonna be fucking awesome.

And that wraps it up! A nice guide to catch you up on things you’ve missed or to remind you of some things you’ve forgotten. I make no claim to have covered everything we’ve seen, but these were some things that I took note of. Feel free to add your own bits and pieces I missed in the replies! Borderlands 3 looks amazing, happy hunting.

- VaultHunter426

[ekakinomi-forgrownups]

"Better luck next time, fellas!" ~Mr. Peanut to 2nd and 3rd contenders Geniusman (Tottemo! Luckyman) and Mettaton EX (Undertale) as he proudly shows off his "Loving" Cup that he won for being the official Winner Of My Heart this year

Hi, everyone! How are you today? I bet you're pretty tired of being mostly cooped up inside. But don't worry--I have something right here that might catch your interest.

As some of you may know, March is National Peanut Month. Now, that's not exactly something worth celebrating for peanut allergists...but, on the other paw, March is also National Nutrition Month, National Kidney Month, Optimism Month, Spiritual Wellness Month, National Women's History Month, Irish-American Heritage Month, and International Listening Awareness Month, among even more things. March is also, of course, the first month of Spring. So there's much more to celebrate in March than just peanuts.

However, in this blog post, I'm going to celebrate peanuts. I could go on and on about peanut butter, my favorite food ever, the average jar of which is made with hundreds of peanuts. But, I'm just going to focus one one peanut this time--one of the most famous peanuts of all time--the one and only Mr. Peanut, mascot for the Planters brand of nuts and snacks. Why? Because he's my biggest cartoon crush.

.......say waaaaaaa~~~t?

But isn't he dead?

youre just posting your april fools joke too early

Nope. It's all true!

All the recent hub-bub about Mr. Peanut, including the infamous commercial where he literally dies, reminded me of this earlier commercial I saw on T.V. back in 2018 (the first video featured in this post), which utilized the same sleek design he was animated in during his passing. After finding it on YouTube, I found other videos of him, and this social media browsing eventually brought me to his Twitter account, where I browsed all of his posts from 2018/19. I immediately fell for his optimistic attitude, his sweet personality and especially his support for his friends and followers...and the rest is history. He has the looks, he has the heart--and now he's helping me to grow up.

But why him?? How could an overdressed anthro peanut top, let alone compete with, these practical princes of men? How would crushing over a cartoon help me grow up in any way? And last (and strangest) of all, why am I suddenly going "nuts" over the now-defunct version of a character who just 2 months ago died and came back as a baby?

I will answer all those questions in approximately...right now!

Being autistic, I have a more child-like mind-set than others my age--one facet of this is the ability to immerse myself in imaginary worlds and connect with characters. Thinking of characters, "talking" to them and even trying to act like them has gotten me through many a tough time. As I take inspiration from their personalities and actions, I find more fun and creative ways to spice up my every-day life, stay calm when things get stormy, cheer me up when I feel down, or pep me up when I get sluggish and demotivated. I use different characters to help me with different aspects of life. The two types that always helped me the most were characters with pure hearts, and characters I had crushes on.

Recently, though, I had been looking for a character that would help me take on one of my toughest challenges--accepting the fact that the world is equally as cruel as it is kind, while staying a calm and collected person, and then handling it all just by myself--to put it in two words: growing up. I won't go into detail (in this post, at least), but life had been extremely cruel to me last year. I had a lot of trouble accepting it, and I was losing my self-control. But considering that I'm going on 23 now, I knew that I had to get it together, or else I would stay a crying ball of nerves, trapped on a bed, forever. Being one of the less restrictive aspects of having the heart of a child, I knew that modeling myself after a good-natured fictional character would be a perfect start--but I needed one exceptionally powerful character to pull this off. I needed a crush with a pure heart.

Then it suddenly and silently occured to me, as I continued to take in his various pictures, videos, GIF's and Tweets, that Mr. Peanut was it.

His sleek and curvy body, his elegant limbs, refined features and gentlemanly disposition--not to mention the fact that he's wearing white gloves and has one eye always covered--immediately calls to mind my best cartoon crushes: Geniusman from the anime "Tottemo! Luckyman" and Mettaton EX from the game "Undertale" (who are both looking salty alongside Mr. Peanut on the winner's podium in the top picture). But what really got me was what he didn't have that the other crushes did, he made up for with his unique personality, that my other crushes, in turn, didn't have:

You see, Mr. Peanut rests comfortably on two fine lines that few characters have even been able to stand on. The fine line between "handsome and stylish" and "conceited and mean", and the fine line between "peppy mascot" and "mature and modest gentle-man". All except for a "brief" 10-year stint where they tried to "re-invent" him (Yes, I'm talking about the one who spent the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade dabbing), he's always been a gentle, friendly, quiet character whose main goal in life (besides selling nuts) is to help people and make them happy, "shelling out" plenty of pep while also remaining proper and well-composed.

He never got angry for more than a second or two, and handled (almost) any problem he faced in the smartest, most dignified and most fun way possible. And of course, he's very sweet and always thinks of those he cares about first. He also, despite being a mascot for snacks, loves to play sports and stay fit and healthy--and he encourages others to do the same. And finally, despite being a mascot in general, he always had this quiet, unassuming air to him. He made all his necessary appearances and entertained his customers, yet he always acted very natural about it and never hammed it up or acted super wild and goofy--a thing that most other cartoon mascots fail to do.

So he's not just eye-candy--he's also a perfect role model. That covers the "first of all". Not only does he give me the incentive to be a dignified lady who always does the right thing first, but he gives me that euphoric, limerance-enduced energy I need to really want to act upon it. All my aspirations to be more courteous, be more proper and elegant, be more brave, lead a healthy and active life-style and be a good mascot for Ekaki No Mi are finally coming to fruition. That covers the "second of all".

Yes, this all sounds very silly. But In a "nut-shell", he's the reason I'm finally growing up, so in a way, this is all anything but silly. I would be a hot mess without him...which is exactly why I'm speaking of him in present-tense (using "is" instead of "was"), and pretending he never became Baby Nut or even died in the first place. Here's where I cover the "third of all".

For those who don't already know about his apparent death and resurrection: for their big pre-Super Bowl LIV commercial (the second video featured), Planters took a very unusual, very controversial approach: Their preview commercial depicted Mr. Peanut sacrificing himself to save his friends by letting go of a branch on a cliff that was too heavy to hold him and actors Matt Walsh and Wesley Snipes. The actual Super Bowl commercial (the third video featured) depicted his funeral, which the Kool-Aid Man, among others, attended. A magic tear from the Kool-Aid Man caused a peanut plant to grow out of the ground and sprout a "Baby Nut"--the official reincarnation of Mr. Peanut. Here are the two commercials, in order:

But what people often don't realize is that Mr. Peanut is a cartoon--a form of art--and art, except in very specific cases, is meant to be interpreted by the viewer. If the story isn't satisfactory, people can ignore some parts and pretend that others play out differently, until it fits what they believe in. And the characters and their actions can hold secret meanings that only the viewer sees. In fact, the same character can don different personalities and clothes, and exist in different universes, doing different things--all at the same time. (Think of all the different versions of Mickey Mouse that exist at the same time, even today.)

So is the case with Mr. Peanut. As long as his original likeness still exists--anywhere in this world--he's still alive and well. And even if the actual Planters corporation says he's Baby Nut now, he's still the same old Mr. Peanut in another part of the Internet, in another part of the world, or in any alternate universe. Many, actually. In one of them, he could be "Miss Peanut". In another, he could be a radical "Teen Nut". And in another still, he could actually be the evil capitalist peanut everybody says he is--you know, the one who struts around in his aristocrat clothing while roasting his fellow "pea-ple" and selling them to humans as food in order to get richer...

...which I like to think is not true, because the real peanuts he sells for your eating pleasure could never have flexy bright-yellow shells or humanoid features, could never breathe, cry, blush, say "Whoa!" when startled, wear clothes, be cuddled by a person with a peanut allergy without triggering it, and couldn't even survive on their own for more than 4 months, let alone 104 years. When they grow, it doesn't happen in the blink of an eye--peanut plants take about 3 or 4 weeks to mature (on days that strictly aren't frosty, no less), and the peanuts themselves grow under the ground--totally different from how Baby Nut came into being.

In short, the peanuts we eat aren't cartoons, like Mr. Peanut is. And since he is, I can interpret him any way I want, just as any other person can. So he doesn't have to be a cannibalistic capitalist. He can be the dapper yellow fellow who sells and eats yummy, natural and nutritious morsels that happen to look a bit like him--think of how humans eat little crackers and gummies that look like other people--and, most importantly, is not dead and never will be, because people still love him and believe in him, and belief and imagination transcend death, at least when it comes to fictional characters.

(I especially have the right to believe he's dead because it's one thing to kill off a character in a series for story reasons--it's another thing to kill a revered and internationally-known brand mascot just to create a social media buzz and generate profits. Now that's capitalism!)

But at the same time, I can't help but admit that it was at least a unique social media experiment, and despite the nasty secret intent behind it all, it was very interesting to finally get to see how Mr. Peanut would die, how he got born (and reborn), and what he looks like as a baby. And honestly, with his big round eyes, squidgy body and dainty features, I actually think Baby Nut is pretty cute--certainly too cute for me to want to break out a mortar and pestle and make peanut butter out of him--but he's just not Mr. Peanut. Mr. Peanut was such a unique character that it takes some very special minds to make a character that even comes close to a replacement--sadly, Baby Nut just doesn't make the cut.

Thanks to the power of love and imagination, though, he's still his good old self in my heart. Besides, he may just grow up and come back some day. So in conclusion, he still is, not was, and always will be, the best role model and "husbando" I could ever ask for. He's got the looks. He's got the love. He's cute. He's graceful. He's dapper. He's daring. He's silly. He's sexy. He's serene. He's cheerful, and he always brightens my day. He's everything I could ever want, and more.

Some day I plan to release an art collection featuring the lovable legume sometime in the near future. I would have each picture creatively high-light a different aspect of his personality, taking inspiration from charming vintage art-work that would fit the theme of the picture as well as actual Planters merchandise, and I would utilize various retro art styles and techniques from different time periods to give each picture a distinctive "old-fashioned" vibe.

The collection will be available on all my art web-pages, including my possible future Patreon (if I can get enough subscribers!), and I'm hoping I can also get it shown off in a gallery somewhere (if there are enough Mr. Peanut fans here in Athens to want to see it.)

One of my favorite commercials featuring him ever, back when he was (canonically) alive and well.

The commercial where he literally dies.

The commercial where he comes back to life as a little baby peanut.

And that concludes my post. The credits for the videos go to Planters and KraftHeinz, and the cover photo for this post goes to my imaginary friend, Mini Minoux. Do you love Mr. Peanut, too? And if you do, what do you love about him? And what about Baby Nut? Is he “yea” or “nay”? I'd be happy to hear your thoughts in the comments--though please, keep it reasonable and don't be too harsh. We're in the company of a gentleman. ;.3

[metalgearkong]

Shadow of the Tomb Raider - Review (PS4)

3/25/20

Developed by Edios Montreal, released September 2018

The Tomb Raider reboot in 2013 was one of the biggest surprises during the last generation of gaming. I was so happy with the game I hoped publisher Square-Enix would continue the series. Luckily they did, and I may have enjoyed Rise of the Tomb Raider (2015), its sequel, even more. Lara was no longer a comical sex symbol running around like a tank in a blocky world. I don’t know why I didn’t play Shadow of the Tomb Raider, the next sequel, until now, but I finally got my hands on it. Shadow of the Tomb Raider isn’t perfect, but it remains another solid and mostly satisfying entry in this series, especially in terms of content, graphics, and exploration.

Lara (Camilla Luddington)  is on an obsessive quest to continue her father’s research, this time in Peru. This is as confident as Lara has ever been, as she demonstrates skills that would make even John Rambo or Naked Snake blush. However, her single-minded attitude pursuing her goals goes to the extent of being a detriment to her character. The developers spotlight this issue a handful of times, but peaked early in the game when Lara’s best friend Jonah gets fed up with her obsession (yelling at her “It’s not all about you!”). Part of Lara’s appeal in this series was how relatable and real she was, and comes off the least personable she’s ever been here. I would have liked this to be a larger part of the story, but I guess this video game series wouldn’t be as exciting if Lara was working a steady 9 to 5 at Red Cross. 

The gameplay and graphics are the best they’ve ever been. I was in constant awe seeing each and every new environment as I progressed, especially the dense jungles. I couldn’t get enough of how gorgeous this game was, as it kept me invested hour after hour. What it reminded me the most of was Metal Gear Solid 3, where you also had to take advantage of every detail the jungle provides (and stealth killing enemies from the brush, of course). Most environments are fairly linear, but are connected by massive hub areas full of things to do. I’ve never seen such a detailed and realistic primitive village as I’ve seen in this game, and exploring every cranny took hours. Whether it was a massive temple, crypt, river, pond, cave, village, or forest, every minute of the game was breathtaking. 

The stealth mechanics let me down a lot sadly, mainly in the enemy AI. I could almost never reliably know when an enemy is 100% safe to kill from the bushes. The game doesn’t indicate enemy line of sight or hearing, making way too many of the stealth kills a roll of the dice. This put a big damper on most of the stealth sections, as most of the time I resigned myself to finishing enemy squad encounters with a firefight. However, Shadow of the Tomb Raider has more emphasis on exploring than combat, more so even than the prior two games. I think I had a few instances of not drawing or firing a firearm a single time for multiple hours. I consider this a testament to the game design because I rarely missed the combat encounters and was plenty entertained by the exploration, collecting, and completing optional crypts.

Largely the series hasn’t changed much since 2013, but the biggest addition to Shadow of the Tomb Raider are the swimming sections. Underwater scenes are beautiful and mostly graceful. Lara has a generous amount of time between breaths, and the swimming is used frequently in side exploration and on the main quest. I like how schools of piranhas can swarm you almost instantly, and you have to play hide and seek by hiding in seaweed or around pillars. The RPG mechanics are still fairly weak however. Lara controls so well and is so skilled, I rarely wanted to buy upgrade skills with skill points. This lead me to having a stockpile of unspent points at almost all times because I didn’t want any of the upgrades (e.g. I enjoy that Lara takes a few seconds to reload a weapon, or that you have to be smarter with your arrows or ammunition). 

Shadow of the Tomb Raider has its problems, but I was thoroughly entertained among my 20+ hour experience. It packs surprisingly a lot of content in this single-player story, offering new game+ upon completion, and the chance to 100% the game if you’re into that sort of thing. The stealth mechanics need a lot more work, and the characters/story could have had another pass to make things more naturalistic or memorable. This trilogy is one of my favorite series in gaming, and I would look forward to seeing it continue with a few tweaks. If you can appreciate jaw dropping graphics and a game with plenty of do-it-yourself exploration, with the occasional firefight, Shadow of the Tomb Raider deserves your attention. 

7.5/10

[mauriooo]

Tell us your OCs. I. Have. Intrigue

oh okay um-

first off here’s a link to the masterlist

second a quick explanation of all my non-fandom ocs’ universes i guess? putting them under a cut cos they are LONG… sorry if you just wanted a brief summary of the characters themselves i just saw an opportunity to info dump about all the worldbuilding i’ve done and i took it

the universe with all of the animal ocs (Skye-Inklii on the masterlist) is definitely my most worked-on universe to date cos of all the semi-connected stories in it, the complexity of the world, and the pantheon i’ve kind of come up with? basically it takes place on a continent that has yet to be named but it’s a big place in the middle of an ocean called the Sparkling Sea. the continent is divided into multiple “Kingdoms,” all surrounding the Royal City (where the most important families live) in the middle of the continent. these kingdoms include the Ocean Kingdom (basically a huge gulf connected to the Sparking Sea filled with water-dwelling people, who aren’t mermaids but do have gills and stuff along with the general frame of land-dwellers) and the Smoldering Kingdom (formerly a prosperous matriarchy that was a hotspot (hah) for trading, next to a volcano. almost completely desolated by a conflict commonly known as the Brushfire War, with Ka being the only survivor. residents here were often confused for actual fires from afar, considering their particular subspecies often had small flames all over their body, which could not be snuffed out.). the Royal City is surrounded by an area known as the Outskirts (working name), where people like Skye, Pine, and Lavender who didn’t really have any particular elemental traits of any kind or came from a different kingdom lived. this area is known for having a bustling market and a diverse populace, unlike the other kingdoms whose residents almost always look similar. also there’s a royal family in the Royal City that rule most of the continent (each Kingdom has their own government but really the royal family is up top). the royal family has a royal scientist (undertale influenced a bunch of this ok), currently Hawthorn, previously his father Bramble. Bramble did a bunch of bad stuff so I’m not gonna dwell on him. garbageboy stinkman belongs in the toilet

the universe with Hazel and the ghosties is a universe where basically it’s almost the same as real life but magic, ghosts, demons, and angels exist and it’s not as technologically advanced (phones exist but color tv does not and people don’t rely as much on technology) Hazel and Michael/Virus both have some angel and some demon blood, Michael having more demon than angel and Hazel with vice versa, both having wings of some sort due to this. both their parents are basically human but their descendants (from a time where demons and angels were free to walk the earth) had children with demons/angels and some of those traits got passed down. it’s very rare to pass down traits from one of these entities (about 1 in 1,000 for just one) but Ezekiel/Chance got very lucky and got a little of both, compared to his siblings Cassidy/Jinx and Lisa/Boo who got nothing (but after becoming ghosts Jinx did get some demon traits and Boo got some angel traits). not all ghosts are friendly so those with an affinity for locating the undead are hired to exorcise houses and whatnot, called “ghosters.” Michael was one of the more famous ghosters and so he’s commonly called upon to help in areas, so he and Hazel traveled a lot. i should also mention that with certain rituals one can summon a ghost to help with something (finances, love, etc.) but it’s very hard to pull off (to stabilize a ghost and keep it from returning to the afterlife you have to make a very special necklace from specific gemstones depending on the ghost, and one for yourself to make sure the ghost can’t hurt you and it has to obey your orders (although you can free it to do what it wishes if you want)) anyways there’s a really dangerous demon that broke free from a seal placed on it hundreds of years ago commonly referred to as the Stalker, the Nothing, and things like that. Michael unknowingly accepted a job to rid an abandoned house in a quaint little town of this thing, and brought Hazel with him. it uh… didn’t go well :D this thing HATES angels cos a half-angel sealed it away so it attempted to kill Hazel because she bears a strong resemblance to the being that sealed it away. Michael didn’t like that so he barely managed to seal it away for a few more years but got like,,, a LOT of vital organs ripped out in the process. this, understandably, traumatized Hazel cos that was her last living family member being ripped to shreds in front of her so she went back to the town where she, first, scared 99% of the population cos she was DRENCHED in blood but then she got cleaned up and sent to a nearby orphanage where she was immediately adopted by a p mean family cos they thought she could summon a ghost to make them rich? she ended up summoning Virus (who didn’t recognize her cos ghosts lose most of their memories except for their moment of death, Chance is an exception), and then Jinx, Chance, and Boo all at once cos they died within a few minutes of each other. this took a hard right into backstory territory so imma move on

Gardenia and Ashe live in a world where, rarely, children will be born with their souls basically attuned to an element of nature (often with different subclasses) or creature. these phenomenons are called elementals and mutants, respectively. even rarer, however, is a child being born as both. Gardenia was born without eyes, with the left side of her face being just smooth where her eye should be and the right having a, well, gardenia growing in the place of an eye. also when she bleeds small flowers grow in the wound, which was assumed to be a sort of defense mechanism to plug the wound. because of these, when she was born, she was designated a plant elemental of the flower subclass. ashe was born part-fire elemental, part-salamander mutant. they both ended up at a school specifically for elementals and mutants where they could learn not to destroy things, which is where these two met in about 7th grade? they stayed friends since then and eventually fell in love (even if Gardenia couldn’t see Ashe, she loved her personality and her voice). probably the only universe with no murder so far

Meredy and Connor are robotic entities known as “mechae,” Meredy being made to entertain while Connor was made to fix. these entities were mass-produced to help humans in a futuristic society. they are made with 6 chips: Empathy, Ethics, Functionality, Memory, Intelligence, and Personality. if one of these chips break the entire mecha basically breaks and has to be recalled. Nikki is just a reclusive mechanic who works with Connor because xe saved him from being scrapped after faulty wiring and a broken Functionality chip were discovered upon his activation, causing him to frequently experience small shocks that either overload his system and shut him down or just make him unable to move for a few minutes. Nikki is trying to fix him up but for now just hides him from the public because xe doesn’t want him to be taken away from xir. Meredy is just a broken entertainment mecha whose Functionality and Ethics chip went haywire during a performance, causing uh... not great things? no one died but they got p injured cos metal is heavy and she ran away, eventually getting to Nikki’s shop after they met in a back alley while Meredy was hiding and Nikki was fishing for parts. that’s basically all i have for now

oh christ where do i start with the zodiacs. okay lady fate got sick of having to look after EVERYONE after they died so she basically chose 15 random people (1 for each zodiac sign except for Gemini and Pisces, who got 2) and made it so when they die (mostly by unfortunate circumstances) they go to a special place in the afterlife where every dead person is called their Dominion (i. e. Aquarius Dominion, Taurus Dominion, etc.), and every person in this world goes to the Dominion corresponding to their zodiac sign where the corresponding Zodiac... doesn’t exactly rule over them but controls the Dominion in a way? they basically get to decide what everything looks like and stuff and they get to live in a big ol mansion with everything they could ever need. all of the Dominions are spread in a circle around a central area known as the Hub where people from different signs can intermingle. the entire area has this neat little feature where once you die and get there, any physical ailments are gone. couldn’t walk while you were alive? well now you can! missing one or more limbs? you can choose to get cool substitute limbs made of sparkling ether that function like normal limbs! were you experiencing gender dysphoria in life? your new body fits your preferred gender! finally, you get a necklace or other piece of jewelry that designates your sign so people can tell what you are! i haven’t worked on this world as much cos i didn’t have too many ideas at first but i really like it :o

Endris and Kyu are demons under service of the Demon King. Endris is a demon species known as a Kahre, a genetically engineered soldier race, but his test tube broke and it was too dangerous to put him in a new one so he’s just smol and ended up as a personal servant to the king. Kyu is a Senru, a general/advisor race, who’s like... a giant suck-up. he mostly refers to Endris as “defect” unless he’s saying that Kyu needs to go speak with the king for a bit because then he’s all sunshine and rainbows. there are also the Erina, small scientists and doctors, and Wisps, tiny lil servants that are often formed when a new soul enters the Underworld. i really liked designing all the demons for this universe and i’m prolly gonna make more uwu

Carrie and Zade just live in a normal world? like they could totally be real people in real life and their stories wouldn’t change. Zade, who is Carrie’s best friend since they were toddlers, is a trans guy, so he was having all sorts of anxiety when he had to explain to her why he would rather not be called the name she’s been referring to him as for 10 years. she was definitely fine with it though. as long as he’s happy, she’s happy! but Zade started transitioning in like 8th grade so most other people weren’t as nice cos middle school sucks, and Carrie was basically his only friend for a while. Carrie eventually figured out (mistakenly, i might add) that she was the reason Zade was getting bullied so she assumed that if she was gone he would be happier and have more friends so uh... she did a self oof? her assumption was wrong, obviously. but people did leave him alone for a while to let him grieve.

sorry for the dark turn at the end? but yeah that’s a basic explanation of most of my original universes \ ( -ワ- ) / if you have any questions feel free to ask! also PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know if i’m being offensive in any way in any of these??? i really don’t want to offend anyone but i’m an idiot so yeah i probably screwed up a lot