#where they are both dumb
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wolfavens · 2 months ago
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let you go, better the devil you don't know...
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ninemelodies · 11 months ago
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14, laying on a blanket pallet on the floor of shaun & donna’s room at 3am: donna do you think pigeons are plotting to take over the earth
donna: doctor please go to sleep. but also probably. i’ve never trusted pigeons.
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sabbathbloodysabbeth · 4 months ago
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Sorry, but I just had a thought and I’m exhausted and don’t know if I’m going to write anymore tonight.
Just Steve holding a slight grudge against Nancy after she pretty much calls his love bullshit in the bathroom. He feels lead on, he’s slightly bitter but he knows how to be discreetly passive if he needs to be. But thing is he doesn’t have the energy in him to be passive. If this had been before the monsters, and someone who he thought was the love of his life did what Nancy did and proceeded to end up dating the guy who she said not to worry about within days after getting into a fight, he would have probably done something stupid. Probably would have ruined her locker with mean words or something like that.
He wasn’t sure what he would do, he was exhausted and couldn’t think of what used to come easy to him. Or maybe he’s grown to realize how immature that was, how it didn’t even seem all that fun to do to someone. Just thinking back to spray painting slut on the theater makes his gut twist uncomfortably. Once, he used to be the one to climb up there and spray something even worst. Now the thought made him want to throw up.
And maybe the grudge he is holding against Nancy isn’t really a grudge. Maybe he has matured to realized that the grudge he held was within himself for how fast he had fallen. For how stupid he was for thinking the girl would ever end up with him. He should have seen the signs. How she defended Jonathan even after he took non consensual photos of him and her about to have sex. Which he still felt disgusted by, his skin still crawled uncomfortably around the little creep whenever he was close by.
Though when the time comes, he realizes he was holding a grudge against Nancy. When he falls harder for someone new he realizes within minutes that something was different about this one. Instead of smacking him in the shoulder and scolding him for staring to long, Eddie would pull his hair in front of his face with bright eyes. Would do something dramatic to snap Steve out of the trance he was in. Like lick his face instead of kissing him.
That was the other thing Steve discovered. In the moments where it was just the two of them, it seemed like every other minute time would stop and Eddie would be in the same bubble as him. Lost in the same spell that Steve had tumbled into, needing to kiss the other just as much as they needed oxygen to breathe.
Nancy rarely had those moments with Steve, and they had stopped right around the time she started hanging out with Jonathan.
And Steve does hold a grudge, for how she stayed with him longer than what she had to.
Eddie made him feel in love and loved. Whenever Steve watched the other man he could barely keep his hands to himself and the best part was Eddie didn’t care. Steve could bite off Eddie’s remaining nipple and the man would still let Steve do whatever he wanted to him. Nancy never trusted Steve and never earned Steve’s trust the way Eddie did within one week of knowing each other.
Eddie was the moon and Nancy had been the sun for Steve. The sun burnt his skin and left him blistered while the moon wrapped his arms around him and rocked him to sleep every night. While Steve worried about when the sun would explode, he never had to worry about the moon disappearing for to long. It always came back, no matter what happened. Even if Steve had been an asshole.
God was Steve in love. This was it for him. And maybe at one point he had loved Nancy just as much as he did Eddie.
But now, as each day passes he only finds himself falling more in love with Eddie Munson.
He slowly comes to the conclusion that his love was and will never be bullshit.
And when he finally sits down to talk to Nancy about it, he finally gets it off his chest. What had been bugging him for almost years before falling for Eddie.
“Nancy, we were bullshit. But my love, it was all real. Maybe not as strong as it is for Ed’s but I know that if … everything wasn’t such bullshit I could have gotten there.” Steve says softly to Nancy. Shortly after she confessed she still had feelings for him. He seen this conversation coming from a mile away, especially with how many one sided sparks happened between the two of them while running for their life’s on spring break.
And as he stands up, leaving her in her own shock. Letting her process that he was with Eddie, a man. He can’t help but feel proud of himself.
He didn’t intentionally hold this grudge, but he felt as if he got back at her the healthiest way he could. By maturing and moving on. And looking down at Nancy, he could tell that she needed time to do the same. Not to be with another man or date in general, but to just grow as a person. But that was no longer his problem. His problem was currently running up the steps of the trailer with what seemed to be a moving snake.
“Hey Stevie! Look what I found.”
Steve was in love, and it wasn’t bullshit.
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ghost-proofbaby · 3 months ago
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can y'all please come into my humble abode and imagine something with me i don't yet have the wits to write a full fledged fic out of (yet)?
so, everyone knows how when you get a tattoo, part of the healing process is the itchy phase, right? and for obvious reasons, you can't scratch it. favored method, in my experience and fellow tatted friends, is to just give it a good old slap.
perfect. so now, with this in mind, can you imagine having gotten a large hip/ass piece, and how mortifying it would be to smack your own ass to soothe that itch? and it's just plain painful. you want your new ink to heal properly - it's gorgeous and you put a lot of time, pain, and money into that damn thing - but it just sucks.
enter best friend eddie.
he loves your new ink. thinks it's fucking sick. nearly creamed his damn pants when he found out you were doing a hip/ass tatt (because how can he ask to see it without being weird? how can he react to that without being weird when he's spent the last several years with the world's most pathetic crush on you?) at first, it's fine. you show him the tattoo in a totally friendly, totally platonic way. he hypes you up, he calls you 'the most metal person he knows'. flourishes you with all the compliments and looks at you with starry eyes out of sheer awe at the way he's managed to snag a person into his life who is just so. damn. cool.
but the days pass by, that new ink begins to heal, and it fucking itches.
when you first proposition him, you're even more embarrassed than he is. stumbling over all your words, the request coming out contorted every wrong way. you don't want to make things weird, but is it really that weird for a friend to help a friend? it is really that weird to ask your best friend to smack your tattoo to help with that itch you can't even really properly reach?
it's just friends helping friends.
and that's the mantra you both repeat to yourselves - as you request the embarrassing favor of him, as he agrees almost too eagerly, as you find yourself face-planted in your bed wondering how deeply you can bury down your shame as he tries to make jokes to make it all a bit less awkward.
it's just friends helping friends, until eddie's hand lands down on your ass with a resounding smack, and that first little whimper escapes your lips.
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krysmcscience · 5 months ago
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The Lamb is malicious in a funny way and the Goat is funny in a malicious way. No, I will not elaborate.
Anyway, everyone give thanks to the Lamb for interrupting what was sure to be a very boring and patronizing PSA from their grouchy cat hubby. Truly, they are doing God's work. Granted, the Lamb canonically is God now, so, uh. Mostly they're just doing their own work.
Speaking of their grouchy cat hubby, yes this is absolutely still Narilamb, Narinder is 100% into his goofy-ass spouse always no matter what and we all know it, he just wasn't expecting his brand new adopted kid to share the same single goofy-ass brain cell as the Lamb. :)
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bluerosefox · 4 months ago
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Dinner?
Feeling a bit Spirit Halloweenish.
Danny blinked, stared blankly, blinked again before slowly very slowly closed his front door.
A few seconds later Danny opened the door again and once again meet a certain tallish young man, around his age if maybe a few years older, in front of him...
Who was it?
Bruce Wayne....
Bruce freaking Wayne, someone according to what he heard from Sam telling him from what she heard from her parents had apparently just dropped out of med school and was 'in the wind' according to rich elite gossip talks, was at his front door.
........
Why?
Wait... Did he just ask Danny out on a date?
-x-x-
Bruce Wayne has just dropped out of med school and is beginning his training into becoming the person his city needs him to become. While looking into where he can he remembers how in his teen years the planet was almost destroyed but was saved by a ghost teen hero and looks into it. He digs deep to uncover what happened, uncovering impressive firewalls Amity Park has, etc and finds out about Danny Fenton/Phantom.
He decides to go visit the younger man, who is just about to start college himself, and ask a few questions.
He uhhh... Bruce just wasn't expecting to find Danny very cute (even though he was pretty certain Phantom had been his first male crush when he saw a photo of the teen years ago), and adorable with his owlish stare, and well the first words out of his mouth was
"Would you mind joining me for dinner?"
-x-x-
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bullagit · 1 year ago
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due to personal reasons i am now firmly on team “i hope aziraphale does change heaven for the better actually (going on the assumption that his return is as straightforward as it seemed etc” 
like if the alternative is just this ohhh he’s so NAIVE and SOFT and so WRONG and he’ll have to LEARN A TOUGH LESSON etc etc nonsense then yeah 1000% go for it babe knock it out of the park
i hope choosing hope and kindness pays dividends. i hope the soft traits that made other characters continually disparage and underestimate him and his intelligence turn out to be his greatest assets bc i kinda don’t give a shit about a “toughen up it’s the only way everyone else knows better” life lesson for this character
(which like honestly a lot of the rhetoric is dismissive of the fact that persistent goodness in the face of an existence of disparagement takes great strength and that at the end of the day aziraphale has always been able to stand up in his own way)
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whumpitisthen · 15 days ago
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Two whumpees who are scared of each other:
Neither of them want trouble
They are both so afraid of being near the other they avoid each other constantly
They flinch away at the slightest touch like one person and their mirror image
They are strangers, they do not trust each other, they have been burned too many times in the past and they will not be burned again
They stare at each other from a distance, not daring to actually interact
They want to avoid a fight so bad that they won't even say a word
Whumper loves seeing them together because it's amusing how similar they are
Their uneasiness around the other is promptly forgotten when Whumper arrives
Whumpee can't have friends; Whumper doesn't want them to, and we all know what happens when Whumper sees Whumpee doing something they don't like
If hungry enough, they can be bribed with food to spend time in the other's vicinity
Non-human whumpees?! Two puppy boys being very nervous with pulled back ears and big sad eyes hiding behind their owner's legs
One Whumpee lives here and in theory should be more confident than the other one, seeing as they aren't the one in a strange unknown place. That confidence flees as soon as the Other Whumpee takes even a single step in their direction. They do not want to fight, they just want to keep an eye on them at all times.
They flinch back and the other one flinches back too. They cannot stop doing this
Caretaker basically has to pretend with each of them that the other doesn't exist. If they mentioned that their counterpart is in the room right across from them, Whumpee would not be able to sleep.
They sleep as far away from each other as the room they are kept in allows, backs to the wall, staying awake until they can't anymore
I think Whumper should collar them and bind them together with a short length of chain. For enrichment purposes... For me
One of them starts to finally unwind and gently tries to connect with the other. The other does Not react well. They are both scared again
One Whumpee has a lot of scars — must be a fighter -> scary
The Other Whumpee has no scars — must be a Really Good fighter -> scary
Whumpee looks just like the Other — must be just as desperate and unpredictable/their whumper must be just as bad/they must be at a similar level of strength as them, no guarantee to win if fight breaks out -> scary
One whumpee is scared because they have been tortured into perpetual fearfulness — the other has never been tortured, but sees how bad Whumpee has it, and being the newest addition to Whumper's collection has them just as terrified
Whumper forces them to interact. The forceful, scary nature of their meetings sets back their otherwise slow natural warming up to each other by miles, having the worst kind of counter effect. Seeing the other reminds them of that time Whumper made them sit and hold hands for hours with the threat of punishment if they disobeyed
They both escape. They see each other across the street. They freeze and stare, thrust back in time, stuck in their old frightened and cautious headspace. Their caretakers are perplexed.
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sergle · 4 months ago
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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason
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side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.
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and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.
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#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart#their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money#you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is#The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw#and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is#recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions#to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way#they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc#the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military#you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible#the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it#source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE#I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined#and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK#and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt#I hate yall I really do.
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captainhysunstuff · 7 months ago
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22 more images (with some saucy shenanigans and immature "seduction" tactics towards the end) below the cut:
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Ryuk makes his grand return and is brought up to speed with Light and L's immoral union. The date seems pretty successful~.
Next (Mature)
Next (Super Abridged)
Previous
First
Master List
Transcript
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chirpsythismorning · 5 months ago
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El being *12 hours earlier* than the Cali timeline when she arrives at Nina. Will saying ‘it’s been 9 hrs’ in the scene following his monologue in the van.
We know that at some point their timelines merged when they arrived to save her…
But we don’t know when exactly those alignments took place when they were still apart… which just makes you wonder…
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booasaur · 1 year ago
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Bottoms (2023)
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rcmclachlan · 6 months ago
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what if i put my life in your hands? what if i took your life in mine?
#okay look there's a reason i've been obsessed with this scene for 21 slutty slutty years#imagine for a second you're yue#your master—whom you loved more than your own existence—decided his work was finished and didn't need you anymore#and he pushed you into the dark where you slept for centuries until a little girl woke you up by sheer dumb luck#you now are trapped in this horrible new era where everything is too loud and too fast and too bright#you're also trapped in a body that isn't yours jockeying for room with a completely separate soul that you don't know or particularly like#and you're draining your meager stores of magic to the dregs in order to keep the two of you alive#under the surface of tsukishiro yukito you're drowning—and the both of you are fading away entirely#and then this boy#pulls you to the surface of yourself#and says with his whole heart 'i won't let you disappear'#he smiles at you and teases you and then pours his not inconsiderable power into you#and you take and you take and you take and he never says stop#he never says only a little but no more#he holds you close and lets you sup on the very marrow of his magic until there's nothing left and he's simply an ordinary human#and for the first time in centuries—perhaps ever—you feel full#when you finally step away and ease his unconscious body onto the bed as gently as you can manage#you murmur that you ought to thank him#but it's such an inadequate way to convey your gratitude#how do you give thanks for what you've made him lose?#you put your life in his hands and he cradled it as if it were precious... and then he gave you his own in return#in the world before this one you would have been as good as wed#you thumb the swell of his cheek and allow yourself one last look at your would-be husband#and then turn around to face the threat behind the door#as it creaks open to reveal a little body wracked with sobs you think you would face anything that would dare come for him or his sister#not because it is your duty as the guardian of the cards#but because you love them#touya/yue#ccs#yue
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tempestmothstorm · 2 months ago
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Ok since Monika still has her admin powers in the side stories you think she could just discover them accidentally or use them without realizing
Anyways au where Monika and friends discover her admin powers but dont know about the wider context of what it means. So they just go around thinking Monika has magic and try practicing with a bunch of silly fun shenanigans because they figure it’s some chosen one bloodline stuff and not like. A product of their reality being a constricted digital science experiment.
This au will not end well
#yeah she probably needs the epiphany to consciously use it but hypothetical aus are fun and the angst potential it plentiful#the beauty of this au is that it contains potential for both wacky slice of life escapades and soul crushing angst#they’re like doing a dumb 3am ghost summoning ritual and Monika accidentally does some admin stuff and they’re like ‘woah your magic’#and they research a bunch of other dumb stupid rituals and nearly set the carpet on fire#they like try to rob a bank or cheat on a test and nearly delete half a building#and then at some point Monika suddenly extends her admin powers too far and acts real despondent for no reason#because she ends up epiphany beaming herself and is even more conflicted than base game because she grows so much more connected to the club#it’s even worse because they were her whole world and she knows so much she sees how human they are but they just aren’t apparently?????#and while she can’t pull a base game and kill everyone for a nonexistent player she still goes through so much angst and like#the girls notice and want to help but don’t know how because she won’t tell anyone and she keeps avoiding them and like aauughhh#it would probably end with Monika doing something drastic and trying to reach out for anyone out there who understands#and idk maybe she’ll find base game Monika post act 4 and she’s like ‘what the heck why did you abandon your friends don’t to what I did???’#and maybe she could fix her mistakes???? maybe not??????? whatever’s narratively fulfilling#shoot this was supposed to be a short post for a silly au what have I done#this feels like the plot of a kids tv show where the plot randomly gets really dark on its fifth season#also realizing al lot of the same plot points happen in my fantasy au so I really gotta get to that too#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tempestmothtalk
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gangles-toybox · 3 days ago
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Ford, reading the Catcher in the Rye in highschool: *reads it like a good student but doesn't really understand why people like it as much as they do at the time, Holden is hard to relate to for him probs* [he would understand him more as he grew up]
Stanley, actually reading a The Catcher in the Rye and not cheating off of Ford for once: HE LIKE ME! HE JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!
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magpod-confessions · 7 months ago
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I dislike most fanon portrayals of jmart, it seems too much woobified to me
By s5 Martin is stubborn, petty, condescending, blaming jon for things he can't control. S1 Jon was mean and emotionally constipated and by s5 he's full of guilt acting like a bit of a doormat with everyone because he convinced himself he deserves it. The more i relisten (esp s5 with so much jmart development) the more it's obvious that they are extremely terrible at communicating because they're both traumatized as shit and never had the chance to learn properly because yk, fear apocalypse and stuff, not a prime example of a healthy learning environment, but that often shows up in the form of not so healthy behaviors with each other. Understandable because the situation is horrible.
I like them that way. They're complex and feel more real. But then i go into the fandom and it's a bit... Eh? Ykwim? It's like they forgot about everything but the cute lovey dovey parts or the sad parts. I mean fair, fluff is nice especially after mag200 and we all love some good angst, but atp it's a majority of the fandom portrayal 😭 I can't engage too much with jmart content, because a lot of it feels wildly mischaracterized. It's a shame because their character and dynamic is really interesting to me
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