#where they are alive and happy and have a little farm house and a big red barn they fix up together

[wigglebox]

Summer sunsets 🌅

[violettwrites]

Hi! Just read something you posted a few hours ago, and thing is I'm thinking I'm basically setting myself up for getting disappointed by just sending in this ask—not to say that I'm discrediting you writing- god no— but just the fact that this is a really big undertaking. Whatever, whatever, I'm rambling atp.

Uh I wanted to ask for a DBF!Farmer!Rick x reader fic. Where reader is barely nineteen,— most of this next part doesn't really hold any significance to the plot, but it would be nice to read— long, jet back hair, super dark brown eyes, cinnamon skin, reader also religiously wears sundresses as well as always having a cherry lollipop/popsicle in her mouth. And since her farm doesn't have horses, she decides to ask Rick for horse riding lessons! I don't want you'll do with this but god speed!

(the reference photo, just in case. Te he~)

riding lessons 🗡️ dbf!rick grimes

summary: reader wants to learn to ride horses, and her father’s best friend is the one she turns to.

author’s note: here you go nonnie ! apologies if you were after something different, but i hope you enjoy !

also just a little heads up for my readers, at this moment i don’t really write smut. i’m just not too confident with it at this moment, but as my writing progresses i’m sure it’ll be something i look into in the future. this is not directed at you either, nonnie ! i just never really brought it up and i’ve been meaning to 🫶🏻

warnings: age gap ig???

word count: 970

it was a busy saturday morning, and your father’s farm was alive with people travelling from all over for your father’s sale yard for the year. you were up early ( as per usual ), in your favourite sundress. you had a cherry lollipop in hand as you walked through the yard, looking for the older male you had fancied since you were old enough to understand what crushes were.

“hey, rick!” you called out once you spotted the attractive man, your voice slightly muffled by the cherry lollipop in your mouth. “can i talk to you for a minute?”

rick grimes, your dad’s best friend from high school, turned around to look at you, his forearms leaning against a fence as he watched the cattle being rounded up from the field, ready to be auctioned off. “mornin’, darlin’,” he nodded at you, his words making your heart flutter. he turned around to face you, hands moving to rest on his hips. “what can i do for ya?”

you took a deep breath, trying to steady the nervous excitement. “i was wondering if you could give me some horse riding lessons. i’ve always wanted to learn, but we don’t have any horses on our farm.”

rick’s eyes sparkled with interest, eyeing the way your sundress stopped mid thigh. “well, i’d be more than happy to help with that. the horses we have are gentle, and i’m sure they’d love to have you.”

a surge of relief and excitement washed over you. “really? that would be wonderful! I’ve only ever seen them from the fence,” you sighed, pulling the lollipop from your mouth.

“how about this afternoon? you come on over and i’ll show you the ropes.” he raised his eyebrow, his gaze lingered on you for a moment longer. “and who knows, maybe i’ll learn a thing or to on how you ride.” he smirked, making your heart jump.

you nodded quickly. “that would be amazing, thank you. i really appreciate it.” you grinned, lollipop going back into your mouth as you turned around, quickly making your way back to the house.

— — —

a few hours later, you made the trip to rick’s farm, eager. you were stood next to comet, a beautiful chestnut mare. rick had helped you through the basics of grooming and saddling, and now he was standing besides you, hand on your lower back as he explained the basics of mounting a horse.

“alright, ready to jump on?” he asked, moving to grab the rein as he looked at you. you nodded your head, moving to put your foot through the stirrup like rick had explained, pulling yourself onto the horse. you could feel rick’s free hand on the back of your thigh, steadying you.

once you were comfortably sat in the saddle, you looked down at him, his lips holding an encouraging smile. “look at you, you’re a natural already.” he chuckled, patting your thigh as he moved towards the front of comet, ready to lead her.

“alright, let’s do this.” you grinned down at him, feeling comfortable. rick nodded, clicking his tongue to get comet moving slowly and steadily.

“just relax and let comet guide you, okay? i’ve got you, but she’s a good horse. carl first learnt to ride on this old girl.” he hummed, smiling at you. “if you need anything, just let me know.”

rick walked alongside comet, offering pointers and encouragement. his gaze was appreciative, and you could feel the warmth of his eyes as he looked at you. “you’re doing great, darlin’,” he said, a playful grin on his face. “you know, i might start thinking about taking lessons from you if you keep this up.”

you laughed, a blush on your cheeks at the warmth of his words. “i’m glad you think so. i’ve always admired how you handle the horses. you make it look so easy.”

rick’s smile widened. “well, I’ve got to say, seeing you out here in that dress, it’s a pretty nice change of pace. makes me wish every day was a lesson with you.”

the flirtatious remark made your heart skip a beat. you tried to focus on guiding comet, but your thoughts kept drifting back to rick’s teasing comments. as you trotted around the paddock, the sun warm on your back, you caught glimpses of rick watching you with a twinkle in his eye.

by the end of the lesson, you were glowing with pride. rick patted comet affectionately, bringing her to a stop. he turned to you, his eyes soft and warm. “you’ve done real well today. keep practicing, and you might just become the best rider around here.”

you looked down at him, your heart full of joy. “thank you, rick. this has been amazing.”

rick tipped his hat with a grin, his eyes meeting yours in a way that made your stomach flutter. “anytime. i’m always here if you want more lessons. and who knows, maybe next time we’ll make it a little more... interesting.”

you blushed once again at his words, moving to get off comet, rick’s hands coming to your hips to help you down, the warmth of his hands on your skin made your stomach fill with butterflies.

once you had left the paddock with rick, the older male walking you back to your car, you offered him a smile before leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek. you noticed his cheeks turn a light shade of pink as he opened your car door for you, smiling down at you as you slipped into your car.

“i’ll see you later, darlin’. i look forward to our little lessons.” he chuckled, closing the door for you, waving as you drove away. you couldn’t help but think of him on your drive home, excited for your future lessons together.

[igotbloodonmyhands]

Alive / Part VI

Note: I have no idea about Soaps family in canon, so this is all what I hc it. Word count: 546

When Soap had said that his family had a farm, Ghost didn't expect this. It was a giant area in the middle of the highlands, wide paddocks, fluffy sheep and green trees. According to Soap a rocky beach was only five minutes from there. As soon as Ghosts old pick up truck pulled in the drive way, they were swarmed by Soaps mum, Molly, a small, middle aged woman with rosy cheeks and a flour covered yellow apron, who pulled her son into a tight hug. "Ma wee baby!", she exclaimed, pressing a kiss on his forehead before looking at Ghost and extending her hand. "Simon, ah take it?", her smile was big and genuine, apparently not minding the black surgical mask. "Yes, ma'am", he shook her hand, not able to resist a small smile himself. She shushed them inside, and Ghost felt a bit misplaced in the comfy kitchen, where a middled aged man, a woman and a man, each with a toddler in their arms sat on bar stools at the aisle. They were all so... lively. Big smiles on their faces, seemingly unbothered by the 6'2, completely dressed in black and rather intimidating figure in their house. "S'nice to finally meet ya, lad", Soaps dad, Callum, said, firmly shaking his hand. "Y' too". He glanced over to the other man and woman, judging from the likeliness, the woman was Soaps sister, Isla, the man then must be her husband Alec. They both smiled at him. Isla pointed to the little girl in her arms, introducing her as Ailsa, the boy in her husbands grasp as Archie. The urge to hold them suddenly overcame Ghost, scaring him a little. He hadn't felt that since Tommy was the same age as them. The interaction was awkward in itself, but strangely not unpleasant. Ghost knew none of them , yet they seemed to accept him without question or complaint. Didn't ask questions about the mask or his work, just simple small talk, which didn't feel pressured or forced. It seemed like the warmth he knew from Soap ran in the family. "I got yer room ready", Molly interrupted his thoughts, Soap loudly joking with his niece and nephew in the background. "Since Isla and Alec are here too, you'll have to share a room with John", she winked. "Shouldn't be a problem, I hope?" Ghost looked at her for a moment longer than necessary. "Er, no, that won't be a problem, thank you", he hurried to say. Molly grinned. "John! Show Simon around, won't ya? I have to get dinner ready", she patted Ghosts shoulder before getting to work on the cooking aisle. "Yes, ma'am", Soap picked up his bag, wincing slightly, his shoulder still sore. "Give me that", Ghost mumbled and quickly pulled the bag up, letting Soap lead the way up the stairs to a room on the western side of the cottage. It was a small room, but cozy. Old wooden floor, floral wallpaper on the walls, a big window with a small balcony and plants all over the room. And one king sized bed. Ghost didn't know whether he should be happy or nervous. (Molly ships them. She could've put an extra mattress in the room, but then again, she loves weddings)

This is how I imagine their farm to look like. Sorry if I accidentally posted you house

[ofhxrror]

HIGHKEY missing all of my old oc’s that are currently taking space in the back of my mind and I keep thinking about them in their fictional little universes. I wanna ramble for a bit so below the cut are where I imagine them ending up at the end of their lives. 

Ophelia Richards (hellstate--rp/hellhqs) - the apple of my eye and the love of my life ( my favorite child let me honest ), i wonder about her the most in her fictional little bubble. she was the most changed and better off them all so like i wonder how she would be fairing in the zombie outbreak of cheyanne. would the zombie’s have died off by now and would she have set up a house with a puppers ( maybe with a certain somebody??? ) or would the zombies be still around and would still be the redheaded rolling stone. i think the zombies would be dying off and she would have a little cabin, a small shop too where she would sell blankets and canned goods; also like two doggo’s that she would maim someone if they touched. maybe a noah ashbury in her life idk about that though- but like she would just be okay. maybe she found her little sister again and they live together. just OPHELIA HAPPY- ( i also hardcore crackship her with my other kiddo juliet kemp don’t fucking at me okay they make sense...kinda ) 

Juliet Kemp (hellstate--rp/hellhqs) - my broken bird ohhh my heart legit aches every time i think about her- like holy mother of GOD i ruined that character didn’t i??? she was such a fucking shit show of a human, like rick grimes level’s of bullshit happened to her. she’s from the same universe as ophelia so going off of the “zombies are dying off” ( i don’t like to think that zombies are supernatural creatures and hellhq lore was pretty clear it was some type of plague so...bodies...rot after awhile and yeah i could babble on about zombies rotting but imma stop because i know some of you guys are normal folks who don’t like to hear about that stuff. ) i imagine her as semi-okay, not AS happy or well adjusted as O but alive and sometimes..maybe even smiling. i can see her living in a big house with room for any kids she finds because that’s her weakness, she loves all the little kiddos and just wants them to be okay. honestly juliet is now your adoptive mom if you don’t have one at the end of the world. she would build gardens for food and paints the whole house to be happy for the kids. just peace is all i want for her and her head. but like lemme be honest she’s your wine mom because what she’s gone through ohhhh boi yeah she’s PTSD for life. ( but like also hi yes my crackship make sense here because them ophelia and her can like have all the outbreak orphan’s together and love each other???? no...yes??? )

 Gabrielle Jackson (hellstate--rp/hellhqs) - ANGEL BABYYYY!!!! she wasn’t my favorite to play because she was so nice??? like i cannot be that nice all the darn time to people (also christianity turns out its a goddamn trigger for me.) but like after I had her get stabbed and lose all faith??? yeah she got easier to play for me, plus anytime I had her with her joker it was funny because oh boi she’s angry 100% of the time. but like in her future honestly she wouldn’t have one, gabby is super one of the muses I can see not making it in the new worlds. she’s clung to tightly to the ideals of a forgotten world so honestly I can see her kinda just dying? like I’m sorry not sorry- she’s so the type to get her ass stabbed trying to help someone. that or might end up on some type of mushroom hippie 60′s aesthetic to cope with her life just going to shit, smoking pot on a cute little farm far away from town and selling handmade blankets because that’s nice right? ALL I KNOW HER AND GOD NO LONGER SPEAK. 

Penny Scott ( hellvt ) - speaking of not talking to god meet my angel child penny! ironically an actual angel, like sent from god wings and all, but hates the motherfucker with all of her being for kinda being a deadbeat father i guess. she’s what you would call a “useless lesbian” and honestly that trait I feel like she would honestly get better with as she spends more time on earth. I can see her ending up with a cute girl in a nice little cottage somewhere, but honestly she might pull a stupid and die protecting someone she loves? idk she has tragic written all over her because she sees the best in the world but the world is a shithole. 

Nathlia Scott ( butterflieshq ) - MY ROLEPLAY AND MY KIDDO! i had to close it because health reasons so we never got to hear nathlia’s full backstory i had planned out and honestly i’m going to leave it up to ??? incase i get healthier and am able open butterflies back up one day but a possible future for the kiddo? she’s a missing person who is persumed dead her future is the up there with my bleak kids ( it goes kenzi, nathlia, and ginger ). but she either ends up dead, alive but in a mental hospital for a good couple years, or [ ERROR TEXT NOT FOUND ]....i thought i fixed that glitch oh well. 

Kenzi Carlson ( ??? ) - my sweet sweet punk child who I loved with all of my heart and still cry over to this day, she was an early-ish muse of mine i believe from a scream inspired roleplay. she doesn’t have a future i can tell you that right now because she was canon fodder durning the roleplay when the admin asked if there was anyone who was willing to let their characters die and I was like sure! ( I now know I will never do that again I fucking hate character death scenes ). she ended up being killed in the same way her mother died and I was like ohhhh boy my sweet baby not even eighteen. so she’s stuck with me for some reason, i call her my ghost. 

Ginger Adams ( ??? ) - My Ginger Fitzgerald inspired muse for an unknown horrror roleplay that i was apart of that never really got off the ground but it was nice while it lasted,  she’s honestly my mess of a kiddo who i love so much but honestly once again i do not make happy people so on this girl is honestly a wreck. unlike ginger fitz from the movie, this ginger acidentally killed her sister in a fight and is on the run after her mother told her she would clean it all up ( which oof to that mom ). i don’t see her having a happy life after that- like honestly nothing good happening for her due to a. the ptsd of killing her sister/becoming a werewolf and b. the fact she is a werewolf. so honestly lets just mark her down as fucked up and move on. 

[inky-evergreen]

•The Cat From The Closet• dftm fanfic

Note: This is an ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. This is not canon this is and AU where Anthony Williams was alive and survived HMF. And also my writing is not really that good :]

And warnings before your read: mentioned smoking, drinking, and slight body horror.

Anthony woke once again. But honestly...he wishes he could never wake up ever again. He wishes that he could just press a button and everything could go back to normal. That his body wasn't a total meaty mess.That he didn't have one of his nerve-wreaking dreams or trippy delusions.And that he, Mark, and Antonio were still friends, best friends.

But alas, when he decided to not work with Mark's idea with the channel that shit went downhill. But as much as Anthony wants to hug his friends once again and possibly help everyone who was affected like they were he has to work for it. And lord he wishes it was easy...

Anthony rubbed his more human eye as he sluggishly rose from the floor. He struggled to even remember what was he even doing before he dozed off. 

Was he drawing? daydreaming? Bitting his fingernails till they bled? Who knows! Certainly not Anthony.Well not until his eyes laid on what was in front of him. 

On the black floor was a conspiracy-like board with pictures and arrows collectively scattered, trying to figure something out. Well as Anthonys' eyes scanned higher and higher the answer was slowly starting to reveal itself. The arrows were all connecting to a big picture with all capital letters saying "Happy Meat Farms" slapped on it.

"Damn, I'm really losing my grip..." Anthony weakly thought, holding his head as he took in the board. His memory issues seem to be getting worse or maybe he needs to cut down on drinking and smoking. 

Speaking of smoking he glanced upon a photo of him, Mark, and Antonio when they were happy and well. Except that the face of Antonio was blacked out due to a cigarette falling upon it.

Anthony's face scrunched up, lightly gripping his hair in the process. Just thinking of the fact that he let the only picture he had left of Antonio get ruined like that made him cringe. 

He shook his head trying to forget that awful moment and realized something...As he sat there he felt emptier than before. Like something was missing that filled his heart just a little bit more but he didn't know what. As he scanned around the board his eyes spotted a picture of Mark...then it hit him.

"Where's Mark" blurted Anthony. He turned and looked and searched all around him and still no Mark. Not the real Mark, the sonic plushie that was once the real Mark's, which Anthony named after him. And listen, even if the reason he has it is because of Fake Antonio or what Anthony likes to call him "Faketonio" it was still his. It is the only thing left that still gives Anthony comfort and joy. And if it's gone really then... 

"NonononONONONONONO!NO!" Anthony sprinted off the floor, almost on the verge of tears, ready to find where the hell Plushie Mark was.

He rushed into his dusty and small kitchen and looked into the equally dusty and small cabinets and everything in between. His half-empty fridge and even MORE dusty cabinets.

Nothing.

He went for his equally small living room which only consisted of a small TV on top of a cardboard box and a raggedy sofa chair. Even though there was nothing to hide, Anthony still looked anyway.

Nothing.

Anthony looked in his bathroom and even outside his "house".

Still.Nothing.

Anthony dragged his misshapen feet back to where he woke up. Tears in their eyes he dropped to the floor and gripped his hair, using it as an anchor for the world pool of emotions he was experiencing.

How did he lose the only thing left that made him feel less empty? How could he be so fucking careless? All he could do now was just cry and hope that Plushie Mark would just pop up in front of him.

Before he went further and further into despair he suddenly heard... scratching...?

Anthony suddenly looked up, tears dripping off his cheeks and landing on the floor. He still heard it.

Scritch, Scratch, scratch scratch.

And it was coming from...his closet...?

" What the hell..." Anthony murmured, he weakly got up and cautiously walked up to his closet. What could be in his closet? It could be more rats since rats seem to like Anthonys' place, could it be that? Or maybe something bigger...a raccoon?

As Anthony got closer and closer his heart started to race. He had no idea what was inside his godforsaken closet that he barely used but if it was something bad, Anthony was NOT in the mood to fight it. 

Anthony was about to open the closet door when suddenly something popped out from the closet. The creature was so fast that Anthony could only grasp a moving grey blob.

Imidiently Anthony sprinted towards the moving blob, following where the hell it was going. The blob dashed and turned all over Anthonys' room seeming to want to find a way out but is unsuccessful. Quickly Anthony grabbed a nearby laundry basket and BAM!

"Caught you now you little shit" Anthony huffed. He went to the level of the basket, expecting to see a rat or a grimy raccoon but when he peered into the basket's holes he saw something completely different...

"What the hell...what a cat like you doing in my closet...?"

The cat was glaring at Anthony with its one green piercing eye,  huddled into a corner of the laundry basket. The other eye seems to be stitched up and a wreck. Anthony was right about the now-known cat being grey. Their fur was a mix of fluffy and scruffy and at the moment it was sticking up high and mighty.

"...And what we're doing there..." He got up and walked back towards the closet. One of Anthony's back tentacles slipped out of Anthony's shirt and onto a corner of the laundry basket. Make sure the furball didn't try to escape.

Anthony looked in his closet and found his beloved Plushie Mark. "Mark!" He happily yelled, instantly hugging the toy in the process." I thought I'd...never see you again!". Anthony gave the plushie a big ol smooch and began searching the closet.

He was kinda amazed of at what he saw. There were a bunch of blankets and raggedy, small pillows. The blanket and small pillows weren't his but from the outside. He also noticed that there were also scratch marks on the inside of one of the closet doors. Anthony's only response to all of it was a mustered-up chirp.

He looked back at the cat-contained laundry basket and back at the closet. And back at the laundry basket.

Anthony walked toward the basket now with his pride and joy in his hands. His tentacle is still in a corner of the laundry basket. 

Anthony kneeled directly looking at the cat.

"You...were just trying to find a place to call home..."

The cat just stared.

"And hey I know what that's like but that doesn't mean you have to steal this from me" he pointed at Plushie Mark.

The cat just stared.

"I mean I don't blame you for stealing him he's the best but...but still!"

The cat blinked. And then stared.

Anthony also stared. Both of them, Anthony and the cat just stared at each other in silence. Anthony felt the cat's eye stab his insides but also felt distressed and worry in the cat's eyes.

"...I'm gonna get you something..." Anthony got up and left. The cat didn't know where he was going but she kinda didn't care.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a while since the cat last saw Anthony. She started to wonder where he went...but she still didn't care...well...she started to care a little bit. 

I mean she didn't want to stay inside a laundry basket forever. Anthonys' back tentacle was still on the basket so they couldn't get out. Not even if she tried. For a single tentacle, it was surprisingly strong.

She was starting to get tired and hungry, mostly hungry but also still getting tired. But as the cat was about to doze off her nose smelt something...delicious.

"I brought you some cat food and...don't ask why I conveniently have cat food" Anthony was back with a small plate with cat food on top of it. It smelt AMAZING, especially to a hungry feline.

Anthony took his back tentacle off the corner of the laundry basket and lifted it. He slides the cat food in front of the outside of the basket. Planning to intense the cat on coming out from her corner. And with the feline feeling more hungry than ever his plan succeeded.

"Man you sure are hungry" Anthony mewed. As he saw the cat feast away on the cat food he took out a small bottle of alcohol and began to down it.

The cat looked up from the food and onto Anthony giving an expression that if she could talk she'd say "Really?"

After Anthony finished downing half the bottle he glanced at the cat seeing the cat was seemingly judging him."Hey I need my daily shit too" he informed

The cat seemingly just shrugged it off and continued destroying the meat in front of her.

Both the cat and Anthony sat there for a good while. Just him and the cat, the cat and him. The cat was still eating the food. Just munching away. Which was the only thing not making them sit in silence.

Crunch, munch, munch, munch 

"Maybe...maybe I can keep it," thought Anthony "Mark likes cats. And Antonio loves ANY animal. Neither of them would care that my soon-to-be pet cat was once a stray." He took a sip of alcohol.

"It would be nice to have another living being in my house...maybe I wouldn't feel that crazy after I talk to a fucking doll. I mean people talk to their animals and it's perfectly normal... I think..." Anthony looked at the cat seemingly no longer eating the cat food.

"Oh, Are you not hungry anymore?" Asked Anthony.

The cat suddenly looked at Anthony. Her green eye pierced through him again. She tilted her head and asked just a simple question.

"Since you gave me food and didn't imminently kick me out...does that mean I can stay?"

[lifewithmai]

I Found Peace in Calauan, Laguna

Angela Palma 2023

There are many places I have traveled so far in the Philippines ever since I became aware of them. For example, the Quezon province, specifically Nakar and Infanta, Pangasinan, Antipolo, Caloocan, Taguig, Makati, Manila, and Laguna. Out of all these beautiful cities, beaches, spots, views, etc., you may also wonder, Why Calauan Laguna?

Our first visit and stay here was for our cousin's 7th birthday celebration way back on November 27, two years ago. It was summer, and they had just finished building their house there, so we were the first to stay. I remember our first summer here being full of excitement and happiness. I loved the close neighborhood, the generous people, the packed sari-sari stores, the overlooking mountains, resorts, lagoons, hot springs, and the fields. At my cousin's birthday party, we set up tents and hired clowns to entertain the kids that we invited from the neighborhood. It was quite a big children's party, but it was expected in our tradition to have big parties when we turn seven. It was a fun and memorable celebration for everyone. The next day,our family went to make a second celebration at a village named "The Promise," then into Camp Silva Natural Hot Spring.

In July 2023, we decided to have yet another summer break in Laguna. I never thought that me and my family would need this short break especially me, because, being here for the second time, it was different. Coming back here helped me think clearly and solve all the puzzles that were trapped in my mind in Manila. What helped is the way life here is filled with such simplicity. It filled my longing for a simple, quiet, and peaceful life.

A walking-distance field near the house we're staying in has a hidden, built-in playground, a bicycle lane, a small stage, and wide grass floors. At noon, this is where everyone hangs out, including families, their little kids, and teenagers. There are also areas with fruit trees, plant farms, and farm animals such as cows and horses. On Laguna, this was my favorite spot. My siblings and cousins stop by in the mornings and at noon, and I usually bring my phone to take pictures along with my drawing book, journal, and a novel to read. Since it is quiet and windy out, I spent my time here writing my thoughts on paper or reading books that I brought with me on this trip. I also learned how to draw scenery, which is something I've always wanted to do. One of the most pure and memorable experiences I had here was when little kids approached me to compliment my drawings, even if they seemed simple or funny to me. They were so appreciative that they make me smile every time I see them and refer to me as "ate ganda na marunong mag drawing."

I also enjoyed my time indoors in our lovely home and helped with chores. I enjoyed accompanying my mom to the palengke to buy fruits and vegetables, and I enjoyed being assigned to prepare our daily meals. This place made me want to stay longer because it made me feel alive again. Unfortunately, we all have our own responsibilities back in Manila, but it has been an adventure to be here in such a magical place. Who knew that such a simple place would bring us closer and give us the peace we needed?.

If I could write more about this journey, I would say that it healed me. My inner child and I are so grateful that my family decided on this trip because I can't think of a more beautiful way to spend a short summer vacation than this.

[fireflyskitters]

every abstraction needs a human face

I heard some sad news today (note to self: write more when you’re actually feeling quite happy, which is more often than not). There’s a delivery guy that my grandparents like because he’s always the one who delivers the packages to our house. According to them, he was pretty bubbly and cheerful, and his dad was even one of the tenants on their farm–the dad would come over to our house sometimes to give the rice harvests.

So it was a cute little ritual where my grandparents would make small talk with the delivery guy when he dropped by and even gave him cookies sometimes.

It turns out he died two weeks ago. He was riding a motorcycle home from work at night, and he got into a road accident. He’s… around my age, which is late 20’s. He had a wife and two kids. My grandma–still alive, my grandpa’s dead already–was very sad about it, especially considering she’s almost three times his age and he died so young.

I don’t even understand why road accidents happen so often in the countryside, where we live. The roads are wide. Traffic is hardly as congested as in Manila. There are none of the big-name delivery apps too, so it’s not like there are motorcycles constantly zooming past. But I always hear about a truck ramming into a car, a motorcycle with a drunk driver hitting a pedestrian, and someone always ends up badly injured in the hospital or even dead. If you work in the emergency room at the main hospital there, you’d probably have become quite cynical already because of the sheer number of traffic accidents (here we go again).

I think a huge part of it is because of drinking–but then why does it seem to happen more often there than in Manila? Another factor would be the boggling lack of street lights–I get creeped out going home sometimes, even sitting inside the car, if it’s past eight o’clock because the road is so damn dark. I suppose the easiest solution to this would be for the government to make regulations to prevent it, but the accidents keep on happening and nobody’s investigating how to lessen them–it’s just a small town, after all.

This reminds me of a philosopher that we briefly talked about in one of my university classes before. I can barely remember him–Levinas–but I do remember how he said that for us to understand suffering, we need to gaze into the face of the other and to look at their eyes. We can read so many news articles, perform impersonal analysis, see headlines about whatever ills plague this world, but we’re fairly desensitized to them or quite detached until, well, they take on a face. Another human being, telling us their story, the details so specific that we can’t substitute them with anyone else having the same problem. You can’t be racist if you’ve loved someone with that particular ethnicity. You can’t judge someone who has a different life circumstance from you if you’ve drank together, shared secrets, and for a moment, you see the world from their eyes. You care a little bit more once you’ve heard someone explain their situation, and they’re crying, and it’s not a media op or a choreographed moment where they’re being a poster boy or girl but only sheer human honesty.   

[rmtndew]

Chapter 13

Summary: The Great Depression took its toll on a lot of people and some had to get creative to survive. Seraphina’s father decides his solution is to sell his only daughter to a much older man. But when Sy overhears a conversation about the young woman, he makes a decision that will change his life - and Seraphina’s - forever.

(An arranged marriage AU with Captain Syverson)

Pairing: Sy and OFC Seraphina

Word count: 3,500+

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16

Winter was long and cold. There were days I didn’t get to go outside because of how rotten the weather was. Sy didn’t like me doing no outside chores at all with Little Bit but when it was sleeting and the ground was icy and everything outside just looked like it was hanging on by a thread to stay alive, he didn’t even want me stepping out the door. I knew he was protecting me. Especially after he took a tumble and banged up his shoulder right good trying to lock up the barn before a big ice storm. If he knew the farm as well as he did and still slipped, then I was bound to fall at some point, too. So I was happy when spring finally arrived. I missed the sunshine and the flowers. I missed taking walks. But more than that, Little Bit was due in the spring and I was ready to meet them.

It was early April and even though it was still a little chilly out, it was warm enough to hang the wash on the line to dry outside. I was taking it down when I heard Sy coming up behind me. He kissed my neck as his hands slipped around my waist, one arm holding me to him tight, and the other hand resting right on my belly.  

“You’re pretty as a picture, honey bee. You know that?” he murmured against my skin. 

“I don’t feel it. I feel big as the side of a barn,” I said, trying to undo the last two clothespins. 

“That wouldn’t be much of a barn if it was as tiny as you.” 

I looked at him over my shoulder. “Why you always saying stuff like that? Why can’t you let me complain about nothing?” I asked. “You’re crazy if you think I’m tiny still. I feel like a big old whale or something.” He laughed. “It ain’t funny! I’m huge, Sy.” 

“I’m sorry you feel that way but you know good and well I like it so I don’t see nothing to complain about.”

I sighed. “Is it bad for me to say I’m just ready for them to be here?” I asked quietly. 

“No. That ain’t bad. I can’t imagine carrying something around inside me for nine months while it keeps getting bigger and bigger. You’re tired and that’s alright.” 

He let go of me and stepped around my washpail, going to the other side of the clothing line and taking down the last of our wash for me, putting it in the basket at his feet. Then he held out his hand towards me. I took it and he helped me down. He picked up the laundry basket, holding it in one arm, then put his other across my shoulders as he started leading me to the house. My hands cradled my stomach. At some point over the last week, I started feeling like if I didn’t hold underneath it, Little Bit would plumb fall out. I knew that weren’t how it worked, but that’s how it felt. So I waddled alongside him, trying to keep Little Bit in, until we got to the steps of the porch. He stepped ahead of me some, putting the basket on the porch, then came back to help me. It wasn’t that I couldn’t climb up the steps on my own, it was that I couldn’t see my own feet no more. Sy worried if I couldn’t see where I’s stepping, I’d fall. Sometimes I thought he was a mite overprotective but in this case, I agreed with him. Taking a stumble down the stairs would hurt the baby and I didn’t have so much pride that I’d risk it.

Once we were inside, Sy brought the laundry in. I took it with me to the sofa and sat down, catching my breath from the short walk between the clothesline and the house. I put my hand on my stomach and bent down a bit. “You can go ahead and come on out anytime now, sweetheart,” I whispered. “Me and your Papa are ready for you.”

That afternoon my back started hurting worse than it normally did. I tried not to complain. I knew it was ‘cause Little Bit was getting bigger and bigger by the day, their weight putting a strain on my body, and even though it hurt, it was something to be grateful for. Most other expecting mothers were struggling to keep weight on. I knew a big baby didn’t always mean a healthy baby but I was hoping that was the case with Little Bit. 

As the day wore on, the pain in my back started feeling funny. Like a pressure added on top of the pain. Then at some point, that pressure would circle round my stomach and back. It felt like the pain I’d get during my monthly blood, with the cramps and such. I knew it wasn’t that but I couldn’t explain it any other way. Sy thought maybe the collard greens he’d cooked with lunch just weren’t sitting right with me. Most food didn’t anymore. But it didn’t feel like the same kind of hurting I got with the wrong food. It was something else. I just didn’t know what. Moving seemed to help, though. I paced through the house until Sy was finished with his chores, then I convinced him to take a walk outside with me. 

It was chilly out. The sun was starting to drop over the field and taking some of the day's warmth with it, so Sy bundled me up in one of his thick flannel work shirts before we headed out. I’d outgrown all of my jackets, my winter coat the only thing that still fit me at that point, but it wasn’t cold enough for it. Sy didn’t mind one bit if I borrowed his shirts. He said he liked it, liked seeing how they swallowed me up, and I liked it, too. There was always plenty of room and they smelled like him. 

We had to keep stopping so I could catch my breath but we managed to walk through the field, round the fenceline, and back again before I got too tired and wanted to go back inside. 

“You want me to get you a bath ready?” Sy asked. He was squatting down in front of me, taking off my boots. I was too big to bend over and do it myself anymore. 

I nodded. “Yes, please.” 

He smirked at me. “You want me to get in there with you? Keep you warm?” 

I smiled. “Maybe.”

“Yeah?” he asked, his smirk turning into a full on grin.

“I said maybe. We’ll have to see, Mr. Syverson. You’ve got to be on good behavior.” 

He put his hand over his heart. “I’m wounded. I’m always on my best behavior, Mrs. Syverson.”

I laughed. “That ain’t true at all,” I said. “You was teasing me something awful this morning.”

His smile returned as he leaned forward and kissed my belly before looking up at me through his eyelashes, like he was trying to make himself look like some innocent boy. “Yeah, but I made up for it, didn’t I?”

My face flushed and I bit my lip, hesitating for a second before nodding. “Yeah…yeah, I reckon you made up for it a couple of times.” 

“By my count, it was more than a couple; it was three.” He kissed my belly again then sat back on his haunches. “Did I miscount? Do I owe you another…apology?” he asked, his voice getting all husky as he raised an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged, looking away from him. I don’t know why I was feeling bashful about it, me and Sy talked about everything together. But there was something about him that could still make me get all flushed and flustered. “I wouldn’t say no to it,” I whispered. 

“Then let’s get you all cleaned up and in bed so I can right my wrongs, Mrs. Syverson.”

He got up and I watched him go about getting my bath ready, warming up water and carrying it to the tub. The pressure in my back seemed to get worse once I sat down but I was too tired to be walking right then, even though moving helped. So I sat there, breathing through the pains when they came and waited for my bath. Finally, Sy came to help me up. 

Once we were in the bathroom, I could get my dress off on my own but Sy had to help with the long handle pants I had on under it as well as my under things. When it was all off, Sy took my hand to help me step into the tub but before I could another bout of pressure made a band around my stomach and I gripped onto him tight. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. 

I shook my head, placing my hand on my belly, and breathed deeply, waiting for it to pass before I could talk. “Just some pain is all.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Since this afternoon, I suppose,” I said. “I just think Little Bit is about to outgrow me, is all. They’ll be bigger than me soon enough.” 

“It wouldn’t take much,” he joked. “But are you sure that’s all it is?” 

“I think so.” 

Once I was in the tub and told him that he could join me, he decided not to, choosing to kneel on the floor next to me instead. That’s when I realized he was more worried than he was letting on. 

“Sy, it ain’t nothing to fret over,” I told him, putting my hand on his cheek. “I got a whole other person inside me, moving around, kicking, growing, and at some point, it’s gonna hurt. I’m surprised I can still walk most of the time and I don’t just topple right over with how big my belly is.” 

He smiled a bit and held my hand to his face. “I just don’t like seeing you hurt none, honey bee. I wish I could take it all on me so you don’t have to feel any of it.”

“But we both know that ain’t how it works,” I said. “You do everything else for me but this is something I’ve gotta do.”

He nodded slightly. “I know but that don’t mean I’ve gotta like it.” 

“No, you don’t. But can I tell you that no matter how much I hurt with Little Bit, it’s still nothing compared to how I hurt when I was with Daddy? He worked me to the bone but you don’t hardly let me lift a finger. You take care of me, Sy. You spoil me more than any other husband spoils their wife. This pain with Little Bit is the only pain you let me feel and you’re even clamoring to take it on, too.”  

“I love you, is all.”

I smiled. “Oh, that’s all?” I teased. “You loving me is everything. And I know you’re going to love Little Bit just as much and then some.” 

“Yes, ma’am, I will.” 

That night I was good and asleep, resting for the first time in what felt like forever, when Sy woke me up. I didn’t get agitated with him much but goodness gracious I was upset with him for waking me. 

“Seraphina, you’ve got to get up, sweet girl,” he said. His voice was kind but firm. I shook my head and tried pulling the blanket over me. “I know, baby. I know you’re tired but you’ve got to get up.” 

“Why?” I whined sleepily. 

“You broke water.”

“What?” 

“You broke water,” he repeated. 

“What are you talking about?” I mumbled as I rolled over onto my back. I held onto his arm to pull myself up. The bed underneath me was wet and warm. I could feel it leaking from me. My eyes flew open and I shook my head. “I’m not…I’m not doing this on purpose,” I said. “I don’t know what’s happening.”

“I know. It’s okay,” he said. “But we’ve got to get up so I can get you dried off and changed, alright?” 

I was still confused but nodded and let him help me get up. He lit a lamp and took me to the bathroom, then helped me get my nightgown off. I sat on the toilet and was surprised when I started relieving myself. “How in the world can I still have anything left in me?” I said.

Sy looked at me and I saw his brow scrunch up in the dim light for a second before it relaxed. “Oh, honey bee, do you think you had an accident in bed?” 

“Didn’t I?” I asked, right before the pressure from earlier made itself known again. Only it was a lot worse. I hissed as it tightened right across my belly.

“I think it’s about time for Little Bit.” 

“Wha-what?” 

He came over and squatted down next to me. He brushed my hair back from my face. “I think we’re going to have us a baby today.” 

“Why do you say that for?” 

“Before a baby’s born, the momma usually breaks water. I think that’s what you did.” 

“You’ve seen it happen?” 

He looked at me sheepishly. “Now don’t get mad,” he said, his voice low and calming. “I ain’t comparing you to an animal this time, I swear, but…I’ve seen it happen with cows and horses when I’ve helped deliver their young, and Ma said it was about the same for people.”

“And that’s - that’s what I did on the bed?” 

He nodded. “I think so.”

“How long’ve we got?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think there’s no set time. It might be a few hours, it might be late tonight, but I think this is it.” 

And he was right. The day moved in a way I couldn’t explain. Fast and slow at the same time. Sy was running back and forth for the first few hours after the sun was up, trying to take care of the animals whilst still checking on me. But then at some point, he stopped worrying about the farm and I was the only thing he was concentrating on. And I was mighty glad of it. 

I could handle the first few hours on my own. Even though the pressure turned into a pain that snaked around my belly and kept squeezing tighter and tighter, it was something I could manage. As the day wore on, though, I needed him. I needed him something bad. Especially when the pain started to feel like someone was scraping my insides out with a hot, dull butter knife. It was the worst pain of my life. But all I could think about was getting Little Bit out. 

When it was time for me to push, I was hurting so bad I didn’t know if I could do it or not. I was crying and covered in sweat. But Sy was there, holding my hand. I didn’t know how long I pushed. Ten minutes. Two hours. I just knew at some point, I reached my limit. 

“I can’t do it, Sy,” I cried. “It hurts too much. I can’t.” 

He brushed my sweat soaked hair away from my face and looked me in the eye. “I know, baby. I know. I’d take it all away if I could, but I can’t,” he said. “You’ve done so good and you’ve been so strong. We’ve just got a little bit longer, then we’re going to have a baby. Alright?” 

I nodded. “Alright,” I said, my lip wobbling. 

Sy caught the tears from the corner of my eye, then kissed my forehead. “I love you, Seraphina. I love you more than anything.”

I started panting again as I felt the need to push come back. I squeezed his hand tight and beared down hard, screaming as I pushed. My body felt like it was going to give out. Like I was going to die if the pain didn’t stop. I could hear Sy saying something about the head. I could hear him telling me to push one more time. I felt like I was on the edge of passing out, but I pushed. 

“That’s it, that’s it!” Sy encouraged. “One more!” 

I felt the pressure and pain suddenly escape me. I didn’t understand what had happened. There were storm clouds gathering around the edge of my eyes, everything looking gray and milky. My ears felt like they was ringing. But then I heard a baby’s cry. That sound…it was like it gave me permission to breathe. It gave me the strength to raise my head. I looked and saw Sy between my knees. And he was holding our baby. 

“S-Sy?” I rasped.

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “We got us a baby girl,” he said. 

“A girl?”

He brought her up to me and placed her on my chest. My arms cradled her. She was pink and wrinkled, covered in white stuff and blood, and wailing at the top of her lungs. And she was the most perfect thing I’d ever seen in my life. I was crying and there wasn’t no stopping it. “Sy, she’s beautiful.”   

He stroked her cheek. “Our gorgeous daughter. Our Hazel Mae.” He kissed my head. “You did so good, honey bee. You did so good.”

Everything was kind of fuzzy after that. There was still pain but it wasn’t the same. We cleaned her up and Sy cut the cord. After that, she was hungry, her mouth trying to latch on to anything that came near it, so he helped me get my dress off to feed her. It was funny how something I hadn’t ever done before felt so natural, but our little Hazel Mae had her Papa’s appetite and made sure to fill her belly up good and full while Sy was doing the rest of the work. Once he was done and she’d fallen asleep, he was careful to put her in her crib. 

He took care of me after that. Cleaning me up and dressing me before carrying me to bed. It was still daylight out but I hadn’t ever been more exhausted in my life. I don’t know how long I slept. When I woke, it was dark out. What I did know was that I was in a world of pain. I felt stove up, like my whole body was bruised. I think I could’ve been thrown out of a speeding train and run over with a plow and not hurt as much as I did right then. Even my eyelids hurt as they fluttered open to our room lit by a lamp. But what I saw made it all worth it. 

Sy was in the rocking chair Reverend Anderson had made us as a gift. He was holding Hazel Mae up to his bare chest. She started fussing and crying some and he patted her bottom gently as he rocked her. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s not wake Momma up. She did a lot of hard work getting you out here. She deserves to sleep,” he said. But Hazel Mae kept crying. “Now I know it’s not your diaper ‘cause we just changed it. Are you trying to talk to Papa? Is that what it is? You tired of me doing all the talking and you want a turn?” 

Her crying got louder, turning into a scream. “I think she’s hungry.” My voice was scratchy and raw from all my own screaming earlier. 

Sy looked up at me and smiled before looking back at Hazel Mae. “You had to pick the one thing Papa can’t do, didn’t you?” he said, standing up. He came over and sat on the bed beside me and I used his arm to pull myself up, groaning in pain as I did. He looked at me all concerned. “Can you take her?” 

I nodded as I eased the top of my dress down, then held out my arms for her. He carefully handed her to me, her fists waving angrily in hunger while her legs tried to kick but were too swaddled up in her blanket to go anywhere. It took a few tries to get her to latch on, she kept shaking her head, but finally she did and settled down almost instantly. 

Sy moved behind me, sitting so that I was between his legs. He guided me until I was resting against him and his arms were helping me hold Hazel Mae up. He might not have been able to feed her himself but he was going to help me do it all he could. I knew Sy would be a good Papa. He loved our Little Bit so much from the moment we first knew about her that there wasn’t a doubt in my mind he’d be the best there was. But even still, I was amazed by how well he took to it.

“How in the world did we make something so perfect?” I whispered to him. 

“I ain’t got no clue, honey bee. All I know is I’m mighty blessed to have the two best girls in the world in my arms.” 

[imagines-to-quench-thirst]

Visiting your hometown

What happens when you take your man to your home town? As your memories, people and places come together how will he react?

A small/long drabble to get me back into writing. Enjoy!

Victor Creed

This mutant never thought that he would walk in your hometown. He didn't expect to see cultures that morph together into one special town, your town. A place where you grew up. So keeping all that in mind he was cautious. Various not to offend someone or to say a rude word in your mother tongue. For the first time in his life, he is frazzled and nervous. he will keep in his front pocket a small leaflet some words he heard you say a few times that may be of some assistance. trying to woo you.

-that old hag showed me the middle finger. let's go.

Unfortunately, anything that he says wrong, will be your responsibility to amend it. so good luck.

Loki

you just know that Loki will have your mother tongue in his little finger (that sounds weird but let's carry on) but do not be fooled, he can not survive the morning wave of people in the farmers market. something that is pretty much normal for you. Loki doesn't know how to feel when he sees the local butcher wrapping the meat in todays' newspaper giving it to buyers or how people shove him to the side as his black suit with the green scarf is more than brought down in value. he will hear the near shouts of Famers that are trying to sell their livelihood to him as his head goes from one side to another in a split second. he will easily get reeled in by the old farmer who just smells the innocence on the Midgardian addressed god. you know the moment you grabs his hand he looks at you.

-how did you ever survive in this chaos?

-I thought you said that chaos is your middle name.

-it is however my kind of chaos is more dignified.

-survive just a little bit more, I need to go to that man in the corner.

-oh, no...

Thor

we all in the fandom know that thor is a ball of joy. but when he lands in your city, your territory he is stoic. he is here on a mission and no one should stand in his way. he will glue himself to your side and he will hold the dictionary book in his mighty right hand and your hand in his left. he will not stand for wasting a day on mundane stuff that you do with him back in the HQ so say goodbye to lazying around. when you go to the oceanic part of your country you are now almost ready to drown him in the ocean. or just leave him on the road, it is getting that heavy.

-thor, think it is time to stop.

-what do you mean?

-to be honest, I don't know anymore I am so tired.

-you are right... let us stop. for 2 minutes and then you can drive again.

-I will leave you here.

Bucky Barnes

bucky loves to travel. he loves to see you in the role of a guide you tell him about the park where you cut your leg open and when you got to the hospital as a nun stood above you praying for your recovery. bucky loves to feel the fresh air going into his nose thinking to himself how this was the same air that you breathe in. he loves to see all the different parts of the city where you went to. even so much that he went to your former hairstylist.

-bucky, you don't have to do this.

-nonsense, doll. I want to experience it. just like you did.

-that was eons ago. and I wore super short hair, like a hedgehog.

-hedgehog?

-yeah, it was so short that I only put on gel and made small spikes.

- I will give everything I have and say that you looked beautiful.

-alright, your call.

Steve Rogers

steve cannot wait for enough for him to arrive in the city where you walked, ran, and laughed. he cannot wait to enter your old apartment and see all of the hidden pieces that he wants to know. he loves to help you clean the apartment and see a big box of your old photos. he will look with your through on the hard wooden floor with one arm around your shoulders as you talk about each photo. even showing him the photo of your sister.

-when will I meet her?

-I don't know.

-didn't you say that she lived here, still?

-yeah...

-I want to meet her. I think am ready for it.

-okay...

Bruce Wayne

you just know that when you told him to pack his bags to go with you he did his research. he knows when, how the city was built. he will try to memorize the tongue twisters and say them horribly wrong just to make you laugh. when he looks at your old apartment he tries to envision the day you left it all behind to go to Gotham and it breaks his heart to imagine you in tears.

-bruce.

you take his calloused hand feeling his fingers tighten the grip.

-sorry, I immediately imagined you when you moved out. I got sad.

-why?

-because, you surely cried.

-I did, a little, but this city didn't have that something.

-and what is that?

-you dumbass. now stop sulking we need to clean.

Clark Kent

as Clark arrived at the farm where your aunt lived he couldn't help feel but prepared. he saw the cows eating grabs and was ready in a split second to milk it just to show off his soft and delicate side. Clark heard the stories of your aunt, well one of them, and from what he concluded, for now, this aunt was the beginner level, nice one, the one who won't tear him a new one if he doesn't treat you right. as the door opened you greeted your aunt in your mother tongue and introduced your man. Clark shakingly trying to reply in the mother tongue feeling the few letters that stood together could fall more apart than from his mouth. your aunt laughed hugging him and roughly patted him on his back. almost like a punch if you will. you look at your aunt and Clark cannot help but stand behind you as he whispered.

-what did she say?

-she said that you seem stiffer than a goat's turd.

-you said that this aunt was nice.

-she is. but that is the way we express ourselves.

-with curse words???!!

-what better way.

Arthur curry

Arthur was relaxed when he arrived, he was laid back when he slept in your apartment but that all suicide jumped off a cliff as he shook hands with your mother. Your mom wasn't that intimating but he heard the stories of her standing to your abusive father and running away with just some change in her pocket and a used car. he knows that the woman in front of him is strong can make or break your relationship. so he held the coffee cup in his hands as if was the key to everything he needed to know how to make your mother happy. he saw how your eyes sparkled when you talked to her how your smile ever left for a second you take what seemed to him in complete gibberish but cute gibberish. your mother turns to him asking in English.

-so Arthur, can I call you by your first name?

-yes, madam. of course, you can.

-thank you. well, then Arthur what do you do for a living?

with a small nod from you, he tells the honest truth.

-I am a superhero. but minus the stupid cape. I am here to keep you and your daughter, of course, safe from all danger. and I hope you will like me!!!!

you turn to your mother with a small chuckle as you tell her in your mother tongue.

-he is helpless.

-he seems like it, good luck, Y/n.

Orm Marius

nothing can save his pulse from rising as he walked with the crowd of people in the town square only your hand which he held more than tightly enough. you stopped pointing at a big statue of a colonel on a horse placed in the middle of the square.

-he is a big deal.

-yes, I can imagine the poor people that had to lift it up to place it here.

-yes, but thanks to those people, people now in the present can always remember what they went through at that time.

he didn't find any specialness in the statute for him it lacked in far more than that he can count but when he saw your face looking at the statue he knew that whatever that stirred in you he wanted to see it every day. he only squeezed your hand placing a kiss on your knuckles.

-does this mean you want in your likeness?

-sure, but only if you will make it.

-oh, darling, that is a recipe for chaos.

The Joker

j never put effort into himself. he did in destruction, in chaos, in mayhem, and even in covering his white skin with some basic foundation as he meets your off the edge aunt. when you told him that every second sentence from her is a curse he was more than ready to meet her. because sometimes crazy people click with the people who like to curse. everyone knows that. so when he sat in the house of your crazy aunt he firstly observed, he watched you talked together and exchanged laughs, even more, when you ever brought to tears as you laughed off the curses she threw at you so playfully making even j smile. so when she turned to him it was game time. and you were the translator.

-my aunt asked what is that you do for a job?

-tell her I am the man of your dreams.

-I told her that.

-damn, then tell her-WHAT?!

you giggle at his shock as you heard the playful quote she told you when you were little and j wanted to know what she said.

-what did she say?

-she said "if a girl gives a man a hand, she will give him her ass"

-your aunt is a wise woman.

- I knew you would like her.

Duncan Vizla

Duncan likes to take walks and taking a walk with you next to him as you showed him around your old neighborhood and told him stores of the always pissed on metal slide and the always filled cafes that were always the pinpoints for some scammers he found in question why you like it so much. as you showed his around you stopped at your old elementary school. you showed him the main entrance was where everyone hurled in the morning hours and where you sat with your friends and talked about the horribly proffers that still to this day haunt you. something he heard you mumble in your sleep.

-she was that awful?

-yes, and people like here never get old it's like the evilness she has in her keeps her eligible for work.

-am i not the same?

he couldn't ask a stupider question. and for that, you punched him in the shoulder.

-don't compare yourself to her. you aren't evil.

-you are forgetting my job, darling.

-you kill for money, she kills for fun and to keep herself alive. a difference now let's go home I need to remind you just how good and attentive you can be.

-lead the way, dove.

hope you liked it. Tell me what you think❤️

Support me with a kofi

[leonsmommykink]

Can you write where Thomas Hewitt has deep feelings for an S/O slave (does the cleaning, sweeping, scrubbing, etc.) Even though he already knew that she already has a lover back at her previous home. Even though he can't have her, he still wanted a kiss from her.

Then the S/O feels sick from dehydration and over-working, so Thomas stood up to Hoyt for pushing her. Then he tries to put her back to health with the help from Luda Mae of course.

gender neutral!reader

tw: mentions of passing out, hoyt (he’s a walking tw) cheating in a way???, probably some typing errors somewhere, being cursed at by hoyt, over working, death threats, hoyt kicking you ig??, hoyt really is bad omfg

in a way you would consider yourself that they use you as a personal maid, since they spared you. unfortunately your friend couldn’t say the same and met their fate a few months ago

you never got a break, AND I MEAN NEVER. it was a big farm that needed lots of care, especially with quite a few people on it.

your day-to-day consisted of getting up at the crack of dawn and doing the laundry, washing the dishes, scrubbing and mopping the floors of each room, sweeping, cooking all the meals with luda, and dusting the room spotless. this doesn’t even include what monty needs help with and hoyt (even hoyt is just lazy and prefers someone else do his work) you usually didn’t get done until midnight, sometimes later

the only times you were able to sit down was whenever you’d go to the bathroom or sit and eat with them

you also couldn’t help but think of your poor s/o back home. were they thinking of you? looking for you? honestly you sure hoped since they would’ve been your only way out.

you could feel your mental and physical health slowly dwindling, however you did have the slightest help

sweet tommy, he spared your life that day. you weren’t even sure if it was because they needed help mending the farm or just because he just maybe cared

you had a feeling thomas had a thing for you. the look he gave you when you pleaded for your life, the glances he’d give you at the table. you could see and sense the longing he had for you.

sure you have grown to like him, but you were still with your s/o. at least you thought.

now to current day. you wiped the sweat from your brow as the texas heat was slowly getting to you. yet another day of doing hoyts shit because he didn’t want to, as if his ass sitting on the porch for hours was hard work.

you sat on your knees vigorously scrubbing at the porch as the little fragments of dirt slowly lifted. you knew thomas was in the basement with victims because you could hear their screams of terror and pain, it still sends shivers down your spine knowing that could’ve been you a few months ago.

the screams suddenly stop, you assumed thomas had “taken care” of them and that he’d be coming up. you thought it would be nice if you made him something to drink, knowing it did get really hot and humid down there.

you were stopped when the screen door swung open, nearly knocking you to the ground.

“where the hell are you going? there’s still dirt and shit all over this porch!” hoyt raises his voice loudly. it sounded very faint to you, however, you felt in a daze almost

“why’re you staring at me like that? get back to cleaning the floors dumbass!” hoyt kicked the back of your legs, forcing you to the ground.

“tommy, he needs a drink.” you voice comes out a whisper but feels so loud to you.

“he’s a big boy he can do it his self, now get!” hoyt groans and plops down onto the porch chair

“isn’t this your chore?” mistake number one on your part to even say that to him

“what the hell?” hoyt jerks up upon your assumptions. you could almost see the smoke come out of his ears.

luckily thomas wasn’t too far away and could hear the commotion outside. he gently opened the door seeing hoyt rather pissed and a very sick looking you

he let out a groan of distress after seeing your sickly figure barely keeping yourself up on your hands and knees. the discoloration in your skin worrying him deeply

seeing hoyts hand raise alerts thomas. now this pisses poor thomas off at the thought of hoyt even talking so horribly to you

thomas pushes him back into the wall with enough force to make hoyt tumble. he’s baffled really that thomas would stick up for you, someone who was originally supposed to be dinner. over him, his own family. hoyt just scoffed, mumbling something incoherently, before trudging through the door.

thomas thought the coast was clear, that was until he heard a thud from behind him. his eyes widen to see you had officially passed out and succumbed to the hot weather and poor conditions

thomas’ instinct immediately told him to get you out of the sun and in to somewhere cool. he picked you up bridal style and frantically carried you into the house and passing a very concerned luda mae in the kitchen.

he carried you up the stairs and into your own room, gently placing you down and leaving briefly to get a cold rag from downstairs to place on your forehead.

eventually luda also helped thomas nurse you back to a conscious state. thomas, in a way, demanded you get at least a week break from chores to get better. of course luda gladly let you, however hoyt wasn’t happy about this. luda especially wasn’t happy to find out hoyt was the reason for your overworked schedule due to hoyts laziness

thomas was there for you the whole week you were on bed rest, waiting on you hand and foot and helping you get to any location you needed. oh you need to shower? he’s already got his arm under your legs and back so he can carry you to the bathroom.

it was thomas you could thank for your speedy recovery. luda also lifted some of your house work (including whatever hoyt made you do for him) so when you starting working for them it actually felt like you were helping instead of being a literal prisoner.

thomas was happy he was able to be with you, as the main reason he kept you alive was because there was something special about you. he just loved you so much.

you knew that too, especially after that week. and maybe, just maybe, over the course of that week you were managing to love him back just as much. you knew you were never going to see your real s/o again, feeling as if they didn’t care since it had been months now. why couldn’t you move on to be with thomas?

and that’s exactly what you did on your final day off. thomas was sitting at the foot of your bed, waiting for you to wake up from your nap so he could see you again. when you woke up, there he was. the evening sun casting a light through your curtain in the perfect way that just made him look so perfect.

you could see him smile through his mask, though his wander eyes to your lips didn’t go unnoticed either.

finally deciding the wait was enough, you gently sat up and pressed your lips to his chapped ones. it was a really sweet kiss. once you both pulled way, you could see a light blush through his masked cheeks ever so slightly.

a few months ago, you thought you were gonna die at the hands of him. now, he was sweet tommy who nursed you back to health, your sweet sweet tommy.

hope you liked this! i haven’t wrote in a while omfg

[thcophagy]

"i dunno if she's ever met a cat before." syd scratched at the sweaty hair stuck to the nape of his neck and cocked his head, watching georgia as she soaked up all of artie's loving attention. was he jealous of a dog? maybe he was, only a little bit. it made him feel warm with embarrassment, though he quickly shook away such childish behaviour and nodded back to the house, letting out a short whistle which caused georgia to scamper up onto her feet and start jogging back up the path, not without looking back to her new best friend to make sure he was following after them. "not a problem, was just taking a break before i went out to see the cows." while it was a large stretch of land, in comparison to more profit-focused enterprises, syd's farm wasn't all that big. it'd been in his family for a long while, his grandfather's dad had come to the town to find work and eventually built the farm from the ground up. they had a few animals, some crops to tend to but they only really sold to the folks living in the town. there wasn't a desire to try and make things bigger and better, so long as he kept his livestock happy and plants alive, syd felt like he was living a good life. he had other things to concern himself with, other than upscaling their productivity, he was also the primary caregiver to his grandfather, there simply wasn't the time to think about much else. it was nice to have someone visit, and it was especially nice because it was artie, they'd developed an easy-going relationship, it didn't feel like an effort to speak to him like it did with some others. after walking up the dusty gravel path, syd swung the front door open and let georgia walk inside first, then held it open to let artie enter. once inside, he led him left and into the kitchen, a quaint, cramped room, with plates from breakfast still on the table and georgia's dog bed curled in the corner (unused, she pushed herself into syd's bed every night without fail.) the television from the other room could be heard faintly, some old movie that syd had heard and seen countless times throughout his life. "i think we might have some lemonade." syd mused to himself as he opened the fridge and peered inside, then glanced over his shoulder to where artie stood in the doorway and nodded down at the table. "sit down."

a life lived out on a farm hadn't seemed all that appealing to artie just for the manual labor aspect alone, but now that he'd actually come to see a tiny sliver of how syd lived his life, he wouldn't mind visiting more often. it was beautiful out there, full of wide open spaces and lush greenery, the air even clearer than it was in town. it wasn't a big town, with quite a small population of folks who all knew each other personally, but it was even quieter out there on the farm. such a simple, peaceful life— he could imagine syd waking with the sunrise, making himself a proper country breakfast before going about his daily farm chores. there was something oddly romantic about the natural structure of it all, like he was allowed to exist in an environment that defied modernity and harkened back to a bygone era. "really?" he had to squint as he directed his gaze from georgia and looked up at syd, inexplicably giddy at the fact that she'd taken a liking to him so quickly. "i was afraid she might smell the cats and try to maul me..." animals always seemed drawn to him for some reason, which was exactly how he'd ended up with three cats. they sought him out, following him home out of nowhere, and after he provided them with a bowl of fresh cream and a good scratch behind the ears, they'd decided they'd found their forever home. though he wasn't as familiar with dogs, he had a deep reverence for all creatures great and small, and especially those that took a liking to him like georgia did. "she doesn't seem too interested in the gifts, though... just the belly rubs." rather than go for the basket of pastries just a few feet from her wiggling body, she chose to focus all her attention on artie, one of her hind legs kicking in the air as he found the right spot on her chest to scratch. "oh, it's no problem! i had a lot leftover after we closed for the day." even if he hadn't, he still would've found an excuse to come and visit, likely going out of his way to bake something fresh just for him. it just so happened to work out perfectly, with one of syd's favorite treats being what he had an abundance of— so maybe he'd made more than usual that morning, but it was entirely coincidental. after giving georgia's furry belly one last firm pat, he rose back up to his full height, dusting off his hands on his pants and picking up the basket before she decided to explore its contents. "sure! that would be lovely, thank you," he beamed at the other man. "if it's not too much trouble, of course. i didn't mean to distract you from your work."

[looooooooomis]

F I N A L  G I R L  |  O N E

You were his final girl.  And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t   o n e  |  c o r n   m a z e

masterlist here 

pairing: Billy Loomis x f!reader  word count: 4.3k warnings: implied/referenced cheating, swearing (obv), angst, drinking, fluff, pending smut + mentions of smut. as mentioned, part 2 will be allllllllll the smut x

You were going to kill Randy.

In fact, as the five of you crossed the threshold into the corn maze, you thought of the various ways you could do it without it coming back to you. You could strangle him with the tape of one of his precious Jamie Lee Curtis flicks, you could push an entire shelving unit of said movies on him during one of his shifts, hell, you could just lure him over to your house with the promise of sex before ultimately throwing him out your window. Any of the above sounded good to you tonight because the bastard was running late. Which meant that you were currently fifth wheeling on what was supposed to be a slightly boozy corn maze with your friends. Only now it was a slightly boozy corn maze with yourself and two loved up couples as you all impatiently waited for the idiot to arrive.

Yeah, you were definitely going to kill Randy.

You and Randy were friends, had been for years, and you were always there for each other when it came to these types of activities. Nobody liked being a fifth wheel but at least with two single people in your little gaggle of friends, it made things easier. You were happy as a clam being single, you preferred it in many ways if you were being honest, but at least with Randy around, you could ignore the weight of his stare.

Billy’s stare.

His brown eyes were on you constantly. You could feel them on your skin, feel them raking over every inch of you as though he was trying to soak you in from afar. His stare had a weight to it, you found. No matter how far away he was or where you two were – be it at school or hanging out or even in a goddamn corn maze – you felt him all over you.

At least with Randy around, it was easy to ignore. The two of you could joke around and escape the couples long enough to focus on anything else but the weight of Billy’s stare. But tonight, it was impossible to ignore, and you hated Randy in that moment for unknowingly leaving you with the one man you hadn’t been able to get out of your head for the better part of three years.

You hated Billy more, though, for making you feel as though every inch of your skin was on fire. For making you feel this level of guilt each and every time you hung around with Sid. Sid was one of your best friends, as was Tatum, which only made this entire situation so much worse.

“You think they’ll kick us out if they find out we’re loaded?” Stu asked with a quiet chuckle, glancing behind them for effect as though he was being tailed by the owners of the farm.

Tatum smacked his chest. “Maybe if you said it a little louder, Shit for Brains.”

Stu giggled again and slipped his hand into his jacket before pulling out a mickey of cheap vodka wrapped haphazardly in a brown paper bag. “Then I guess they’d be really mad at this.”

Tatum opened her mouth to tell him off but seeing it as your only saving grace, you reached across the divide and plucked it out of his hands to take a big sip. The vodka burned all the way down your throat, and you could feel all eyes on you as you licked the remainder of it from your lips and bottled it back up before handing it back to Stu. “You’re a saint, Stu.”

“Damn, Y/N,” Tatum laughed, “I can’t even be mad at that.”

Stu was smirking across at you, knowing exactly why you were choosing the bottle tonight which only made you feel worse than you did. Of course he knew. Where there was a Billy, there was a Stu. The pair didn’t have secrets between them much to your chagrin which only made nights like this all the more awkward.

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Sid asked, sweet as ever.

Your stomach twisted in your gut at the genuine concern radiating off of Sid’s features and your heart fell into your stomach when you watched her lovingly place her head on Billy’s shoulder. Where the fuck was Randy?

“All good, Sid,” you smacked on a breezy grin and shot her what you only hoped was a convincing wink. “I haven’t done a corn maze since I was a kid, just preparing myself is all.”

Tatum leaned into Stu’s lean torso and frowned. “Why? You scared?”

“Nah, she’s not scared,” Stu hummed, grinning across at you with a gleam in his eye. “On edge, maybe. Why so jittery, girl?”

You rolled your eyes and flipped him the bird just as Billy spoke up. “She’s not jittery, pencil dick,” his velvety voice was closer than you’d expected and when you saw him reach for the bottle in Stu’s pocket to take a rather big gulp himself, you swallowed hard. “She’s just getting this party started.”

You held his stare for a moment, feeling your entire body light up like a switchboard, before the familiar voice of Randy rang out. Breathlessly, he waved you all down and grinned. “What’s this I hear about a party?”

Tatum rolled her eyes and hugged her jacket closer to her body. “About time you got here, dick, it’s fucking freezing out here.”

“I know a way we can warm up,” Stu teased as he leaned down to nibble at her neck.

Despite your mood, you found yourself smiling across at the pair. They were a good match and you could tell that Stu genuinely made Tatum happy. Just as Billy made Sid happy. Your smile fell at the thought.

Randy’s eyes circled around your group of friends briefly before he threw an arm around your unsuspecting shoulders. “What did I miss?”

“The usual,” you chimed in, smiling across at him. “Tatum and Stu sucking face, Billy and Sid cuddling up and me drinking my weight in cheap beer from Stu’s dad’s mini fridge in the garage.”

Randy grinned. “I chugged a couple beers before I left the video store, so good to know we’re all on the same level.”

Your chest was already starting to feel lighter now that Randy was around. Granted, Billy’s eyes hadn’t left yours for a second since Randy slung his arm around you, but that was to be expected. At least you had Randy here now. With that kind of distraction, you’d be just fine.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” Billy suggested, running a hand through his unruly mop of brown hair. When everyone’s eyes were on him, you could have sworn he gave you a little smirk before shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “We should split up.”

“Fuck that,” Tatum laughed, “no chance in hell.”

“Yeah,” Sid agreed quietly, “I don’t know.”

“That’s literally what they tell you not to do in scary movies,” you chuckled. “When everyone splits up, trouble starts.”

Sid shivered and leaned into Billy’s chest. “Yeah, Billy, I don’t know. I don’t think that’s a great idea.”

“Oh, come on,” he was grinning excitedly now, looking between Stu and Randy for backup. “It’ll be like the movies. Dumb teenagers wander into a corn maze and split up for the sake of the plot. Halloween’s tomorrow - why the hell not, right?”

A slow grin began to pull on Stu’s face as he listened to Billy. There was a mutual understanding between the two men in that instance and if you blinked for just a second longer, you would have missed it.

It made you nervous.

“Dumb teens wander into a corn maze on the night before Halloween,” Randy repeated, “you know what, I like it. I’m in.”

You snapped your neck up to look at him. “What the hell happened to the Do’s and Don’ts of a horror movie? This is easily number one: Don’t split up.”

But Randy only shrugged. “I’m still a virgin, I’m safe.”  

“How about you three idiots stick together,” Tatum gestured to the boys, “and the three of us stick together. Whoever makes it out first gets a prize.”

You and Sid were nodding along to her words, but Stu simply pulled her in for a quick kiss and laughed. “Or we all split up and see where the night takes us.”

“I’m not Lewis and Clark, Stu,” you grumbled, “I had every intention of letting Randy and Sid lead us out of here alive while the rest of us idiots followed.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” Billy smirked across at you, “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Sid seemed to still be unsure of the entire situation as she mulled over the suggestion. “Y/N is right, what if people get left behind?”

“It’s corn, not the berlin wall,” Stu pointed out incredulously. “Fucking walk through the stacks until you find an exit if you get too lost.” As if on cue, Stu’s eyes lit up as he noticed one particular bend of the maze that held six different options. With a burst of laughter, he took off running towards it and pointed to his newfound discovery. “If this isn’t fate, I don’t know what is.”

You, Sid, and Tatum begrudgingly followed the boys to where Stu now stood giddily beaming across at everyone. “This is a stupid fucking idea,” Tatum grumbled as she took her place in the row beside her boyfriend. “We only brought one flashlight, how do you idiots plan on seeing the route?”

“Here,” Billy gently tossed the flashlight to Tatum and shrugged. “Moon is bright enough for me.”

With another roll of her eyes Tatum flicked the flashlight on and scowled across at her route. “Girls, if you see a flashlight, come to me.”

Stu laughed. “What about me?”

“You lost that right when you agreed to this stupid idea,” she groused. “You’re on your own.”

Grinning – and probably much drunker than he gave himself credit for – Stu rubbed his hands together and began counting down from three.

“You okay to do this, Sid?” You found yourself asking. Her mother had only died a few months prior and the idea of the poor girl meandering around alone in a cornfield sounded barbaric considering what she’d just been through.

“I’m fine,” Sid vowed, “I’ll see you guys soon.”

“It’s okay, Sid,” Randy muttered. “You’re safe, I promise.”

By the time Stu reached one, you took a hesitant step forward and embraced the darkness that surrounded you once you delved further and further down your path. You could hear the footsteps and crunches of the stacks around you as your friends eventually all split up to take their own trail and you swore that you heard Randy bump into Sid a few minutes in, putting you slightly at ease to know she wasn’t going through the maze alone. But, as time went on and you continued to circle the gigantic moonlight maze by yourself, your nerves began to eat away at you.

You weren’t one to scare easy but there was something about being on your own in the middle of a corn maze that was eerily off-putting. You’d seen Children of the Corn one too many times to feel at ease right now and the fact you could only see a few feet in front of you at any given time wasn’t helping one iota.

Hugging your denim jacket tighter around your body, you turned left and were met with a dead end. Groaning, you threw your head back in defeat and turned on your heel to retrace your steps but stopped when you heard a loud snap come from the wall of tall corn stacks before you. Swallowing hard, you narrowed your eyes in an attempt to see through the wall of decaying crop, but it was to no avail.

You couldn’t see a damned thing.

Another snap of a corn stock echoed out before you, making your skin crawl. Why the fuck had you agreed to splitting up? This is exactly how every horror movie you’d ever seen started and sure enough, here you were. About to be killed by a child of the corn on the eve of your favourite holiday.

Another snap.

And then, just as you were prepared to run for your life, a husky raccoon came bounding out of the thick hedge with a mouthful of hard corn. Your scream caught in your throat as you jumped back from the wild animal but, before you could think of bounding away, your back connected into someone’s chest.

With a high-pitched yelp, you turned only to be met with Billy’s wide brown eyes watching your every move. “Hey,” he cooed, reaching across to steady you. “You okay?”

That familiar cologne of his hit you like a tonne of bricks and for just a second, you allowed yourself to get lost in it. You knew that smell well. You couldn’t count how many times you’d woken up to that smell all over your pillows and sheets, wafting all over your bedroom like a slow mist that never quite subsided. Swallowing hard, you blinked out of your reverie and took an instinctual step back. “I’m fine,” you breathed out, “a racoon just scared me, is all.”

He glanced over your shoulder briefly before those brown pools soaked you in yet again. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “You’ve barely said a word to me all week.”

You offered him a polite smile. “I’m fine, Billy. Just been a busy week. With swimming practice and—”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he muttered, voice strained. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Billy,” you sighed, pinching your brow, “I’m not doing this here. We can’t.”

His brows pulled together and a pained look crossed over his handsome features. “I meant what I said,” he rasped out. “You’re my girl, Y/N.”

“No, see that’s bullshit, Billy,” you bit back, “Sid is your girl. I’m just an easy lay. That’s all I’ve been for the last six months and I can’t do it anymore. I won’t.”

“You can’t believe that,” he stepped towards you and visibly flinched when you stepped back. “Sure, Sid’s a good girl but it’s compli—”

“Complicated,” you choked, “yeah, you’ve mentioned that a few hundred times in the last six months, Billy. And you’re right. It is complicated because me and you are making it complicated. For god’s sake, she’s one of my best friends, Billy. I’m fucking one of my best friends’ boyfriends. Do you get how fucked up that is?”

“Me and Sid are complicated,” he reiterated, ignoring your little tirade entirely. “But me and you, sweetheart, we work. We’ve always worked. You’re it for me. You’re my final girl.”

You shook your head and grabbed his wrist, yanking him closer to you to avoid having one of your friends creep up on the two of you and hear him rambling on. “Jesus, scream it a little louder, moron,” you growled, pulling him into the corner of the maze where the racoon had just jumped out of. “What is wrong with you? Do you want one of them to hear you?”

“I don’t care,” he admitted, “I miss you. I miss feeling you squirm against me when we watch a scary movie. I miss smelling you all over me the next morning. My fucking pillow smells like your shampoo and the fact that you haven’t so much as said a word to me this week is killing me, Y/N.”  

Looking over his shoulder to ensure none of your friends were coming, you nearly hissed as you pulled him further into the thick wall of corn stocks. The tall stacks towered over the two of you and shielded you away from any prying eyes.

“One week, Billy. It’s been one week and it’s hurting you? Try being in love with someone for three fucking years and watching them fall in love with someone else. And then, when he can’t get his whistle wet with his girlfriend, he ends up in your bed.” You ground your teeth together in an effort to control the burst of emotion pounding in your chest. “That is the shit that hurts, Billy. I wasn’t good enough to be your girlfriend, but I was easy enough for you to sleep with and I was so enamoured with you that I was willing to overlook the fact I’m hurting Sid each and every time we do it. I won’t do it anymore.”

The moon managed to seep in through a barren patch of the maze wall and struck Billy in such a way that you lost your breath. Those brown eyes you’d fallen in love with all those years back were glued to your face. He’d always had this air of intensity about him but, right now, looking at the long shadows cast against his face from the illumination of the moon, that intensity had all but dissipated. You’d never seen Billy look more beautiful in your life.

The silence that followed your words was thick and tense, but those damn eyes never left your face. Not even for a second. Slowly, Billy leaned in and, in the softest voice you’d ever heard him speak, he managed to break your heart all over again. “You love me?”

“Oh, shut-up,” you snarled, “like you didn’t know.”

“How the fuck would I have known that?” he whispered, taking a step closer to you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you?” You snapped. “Billy, you have a girlfriend. I’m already fucking you, what am I going to do? Confess all of this in between sucking your dick and packing up before Sidney catches wind of us?”

“Don’t cheapen it,” he cautioned, “not when it comes to us.”

“There is no ‘us’, Billy!” You reminded him. “There is a you and there is a Sidney. Then there is me.”

“Fuck Sidney,” he snarled through gritted teeth. “And don’t act like it’s only been sex between us.”

You snorted. “Maybe the odd movie, sure.”

Anger flickered across his face as he took another step closer, backing you into a particularly sturdy corn stock. This was a side of Billy you rarely saw, this unhinged almost animalistic side that came out when his emotions got too overwhelming. You’d seen this look only once before. It was few weeks into your sneaky little affair when Billy had snuck in through your bedroom window with red, bloodshot eyes and bleeding knuckles. It was the night his mother had left, and he’d just had lost a one-sided fight with the brick wall of his house.

“You were there for me when nobody else was,” he leaned his forehead against yours and you watched the muscle in his cheek clench several times over as he chewed on his words. “When my mother left, you were the one that was there for me. Not Sidney, not my father – you.” You felt his hands trail up your jean-clad hips before guiding your hips towards the thick corn stock behind you. You should have pushed him away, stuck to your guns, and ran off to find the rest of your friends. But, you couldn’t. Not with Billy looking at you the way he was.

“Billy,” you tried, but there was no conviction behind it. “I meant what I said.”

“Which part?” He asked. “When you said you loved me or when you said you couldn’t do this anymore.”  

“Both,” you told him. “Sidney’s a good friend and—”

A growl escaped his throat as he shut his eyes, but he never stepped away. With his forehead still leaning against yours, it was as though he was afraid to break contact in fear of losing you all over again. “Can we not talk about Sid for one goddamn second?” He took a few even breaths before those brown eyes opened back up, capturing your gaze instantly. “I love you.”

“Don’t,” you warned him. This time it was your turn to shut your eyes as the pain of hearing those three little words sliced you from stem to stern. “That’s not fair, Billy.”

“What? You don’t believe me?” You felt his hands slither up the side of your waist and up the length of your body until they cradled your face. “Look at me.”

“No,” you griped, “to both of your questions. Don’t say shit you don’t mean, not when it comes to that. It’s cruel.”

His calloused thumb danced across the apple of your cheek. “Look at me,” he demanded, barely above a whisper. “Sweetheart, look at me.” Frowning, you opened your eyes but remained silent. Bumping your nose with his, Billy pushed your hair back and away from your face and shook his head. “I fucking love you.”

“You’re with Sidney,” you reminded him, sounding like a broken record. “If you loved me, we wouldn’t be hiding in the middle of a goddamn corn maze while our friends blindly stumble around looking for the exit.”

“Stu knows,” he admitted. “And when it’s a good time, so will everyone else.”

“Colour me shocked,” you rolled your eyes. “Stu knows everything.”

“You think I don’t want to parade you all over town?” Billy questioned. “I get so heated when I see Randy or any of those goons on the football team flirt with you. I want you every second of the day.”

You swallowed hard. “Then please, Billy, just be honest with me. Tell me why things are so fucking complicated with Sid? I get break-ups are hard but cheating on her isn’t the answer.”

Billy was truly torn as he took in the desperation in your eyes. Things with Sid were complicated but not in the way you thought they were. There were no feelings involved with Sid, at least not the romantic kind, but there was no chance in hell he was divulging his plans with Sidney. Not with you. He couldn’t stomach the idea of losing you knowing full-well you’d try and sway him on it. Or worse. What if you went to the police about it? What if you tried to stop him? No. He wasn’t getting you involved. You were the one person in his life who hadn’t let him down and he was hell-bent on doing the same for you.

The less you knew, the better.

“Just give me some time, alright?” He pleaded, grabbing your hands to ghost his lips across your knuckles. “She’s still dealing with the loss of her mother. I can’t spring a break-up on her, too. Not yet. But soon,” he kissed your hand, “I promise.”

“I don’t want to hurt her any more than we already have, Billy,” you told him, “we could end this here and now and then when you do break-up, we can continue whatever the hell this is. But we shouldn’t d—”

Before you could say another word, he leaned forward and captured your lips in a bruising kiss. Everything about this man was electric and despite everything –  the guilt, the secrets, all of it – the way his lips seemed to mould against yours so perfectly, stopped you dead in your tracks. Placing sloppy kisses down from your mouth and along your jaw, Billy nipped at your ear. “I really do fucking love you.”

You leaned into the kiss and tangled your fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends. A low growl rumbled in his throat as he continued his assault down your jaw towards your neck where he nipped and sucked at the sensitive flesh. “You give me a fucking hickey and you’re dead,” you chastised breathlessly. When he responded with a gentle bite, you gave his hair another gentle tug. “I mean it, Loomis.”

Pulling back from your neck, you were met with one of Billy’s rare but genuine grins. He was all teeth as he leaned his forehead against yours again, scraping his thumbnail gently across your cheek as he fought to catch his breath. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

“Your girlfriend would beg to differ, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Groaning quietly at the mess you and Billy had created for yourselves, you reached up and pushed a strand of his brown hair back and away from his face. “We should go,” you told him. “Before anyone besides Stu finds us.”

Giving you one final peck, he nodded in agreement and pushed a few stocks aside for you to escape from. Before you stepped out of the covering, however, Billy reached for your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I promise, Y/N, everything is going to work out for us.”

Giving him a small, resigned smile, you leaned in and gave him a quick, chaste kiss. “I’ll leave my bedroom window open tonight,” you told him. “Do what you will with that information.”

Billy watched you disappear back into the maze with a shit-eating grin on his face. God, he was in deep with you. Too deep, perhaps, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not yet, at least. For now, he had you back and he had no intention of letting you go again.

part two HERE

[westiec]

June 13: T4T Wangxian! 🏳️‍⚧️

genderbend wangxian, no, bendier than that

Read on ao3

When they first meet in high school, Lan Zhan can't stand him; she doesn't like boys as a rule, and Wei Ying is the worst: loud and cocky and flirts with everyone.

Her friend Nie Huaisang goes out with him once and swears up and down that he's pretty cool really, a perfect gentleman on their date. Lan Zhan bites her tongue and asks if he'll be seeing him again, but Nie Huaisang shakes his head.

"There just wasn't much of a spark there, y'know? I'd like to be friends, though, if you wouldn't mind him hanging out with us sometime?" And Nie Huaisang has been her best friend since they were five-year-olds drug to their big brothers' wushu competitions, so...

So that's how Lan Zhan finds herself eating lunch every day of senior year with Nie Huaisang and Wei Ying, Most Awful Boy in School.

It's surprisingly un-awful.

Wei Ying is still loud and cocky, but he is also kind and generous. She'd known he was smart—they'd often competed for the top spot in their classes—but she comes to realize that much of his flirting is honest curiousity about everyone and everything.

Including her.

"Lan Zhan, you should let me set you up on a date! Who do you like? There are lots of girls at this school who have a crush on Lan-jiejie, you know."

She did not know. She tries to tell him she does not need to be set up. Nie Huaisang betrays her and sides with Wei Ying.

Here's the other thing about Nie Huaisang & Wei Ying: they are weirdly good at matchmaking. She knows of at least four couples who started dating on their suggestion.

(They are not good at finding themselves dates, but that's a different story.)

"Hmm... oh! Lan Zhan, do you think you might like Mianmian?"

Lan Zhan goes on the date.

(She and Luo Qingyang date for the rest of senior year and part of that next summer, then break up amicably when they start university in different cities. They remain friends and pen pals.)

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying graduate at the top of their class. She has a little snapshot of them all at graduation, she and Nie Huaisang and Mianmian and Wei Ying and even Wei Ying’s brother Jiang Cheng, all in their hats and baggy gowns, looking proud and happy and ready to take on the world.

There's a lot of world, as it turns out.

People move, they graduate, they get jobs and fall in love and change their number and lose touch.

Sometimes they find out new things about themselves.

"Nonbinary" is a new thing.

Ge is adorkably supportive. Nie Huaisang congratulates them, and Mianmian sends a sweet message. Lan Zhan doesn't really have a conversation about it with Uncle, but the first time they wear a binder and blazer to a family lunch, he just compliments them on their outfit and asks about the new exhibit they've been working on for the museum.

Wei Ying’s messages had started bouncing a few years back, and Lan Zhan mostly manages not to wonder what he'd say.

Lan Zhan cuts their hair and grows it out again, because sometimes you just have to try things to see if they're you.

(Lan Zhan had learned that from Wei Ying.)

They date, a bit, and adopt a pair of rabbits. They find what makes them feel at home in their body.

They love their job and smile inside every time a wide-eyed kid takes in their long braided hair and earrings and makeup and the lean, crisp lines of their work outfits with awe.

They let Nie Huaisang teach them how to dance, and do brunch with Ge and his partners, and they travel, sometimes for work and sometimes for themself.

They visit Mianmian, meet her wife and baby daughter, and travel to see their mother's family, and other times go somewhere they know no one.

It's at a craft market in one such town, looking at handmade jewelry and homemade jams, that Lan Zhan hears a musical laugh they haven't heard in years.

They follow it past booths of landscape photos and hand-thrown pottery and beaded necklaces until they turn a corner to see —

Long glossy hair in a high ponytail. Elegant wrists and lively hands. A flowing skirt that flutters in the spring breeze as the person at this table of what Lan Zhan belatedly realizes is small-batch fruit wines waves goodbye to a happy customer before turning and—

"Wei Ying."

It's undoubtedly Wei Ying's eyes that go wide and surprised. Undoubtedly Wei Ying’s smile that spreads across this lovely face. Undoubtedly Wei Ying who responds, "Lan Zhan! Fancy meeting you here, after all this time."

Lan Zhan can feel a smile in the corners of their own lips.

"Come here, come here, tell me what you're up to these days. You look fantastic, Lan Zhan, have a seat, I want to hear everything that—ah, if you have time?"

Lan Zhan has time. Lan Zhan thinks they would sit at this market stall until dark to keep that smile on Wei Ying’s face.

"I do. Wei Ying, you also look—" beautiful, captivating, happy, alive "—fantastic."

Lan Zhan does not remember Wei Ying blushing like this in school. It's utterly charming.

Lan Zhan sits at Wei Ying’s stall for hours.

("This is more words than you ever said to me back then!")

They catch up. Wei Ying lives and works at a small family farm outside this town. Wei Ying declares Lan Zhan's job as a museum curator "perfect for you!"

They do the pronoun thing.

("It changes? But 'she' today."

"'They,' as a rule; 'she' when it's too..."

"Sure, I get it.")

Eventually, Wei Ying carefully asks if Lan Zhan has kept up with anybody they'd both known.

She's delighted by the news of Luo Qingyang's marriage and child, and thrilled that she and Lan Zhan remain friends. ("I knew you'd like her, Lan Zhan!")

Wei Ying’s face does something complicated when Lan Zhan asks about the Jiangs, so they let her change the subject. There's a little boy on the farm, apparently, who Wei Ying adores.

Wei Ying does not sell very much more wine that day, but she won't hear of Lan Zhan apologizing.

It's not quite dark when Lan Zhan helps Wei Ying pack up the unsold jars, but it is late enough that it's easy to ask her for a recommendation for where to eat dinner, then insist that Lan Zhan treat her to a meal.

It is dark by the time they leave the restaurant.

Lan Zhan goes to bed smiling that night, a new number in their phone under a contact they could never quite bring themself to delete.

Wei Ying has never visited the museum Lan Zhan had come here to see. Lan Zhan barely notices the art, too distracted by the light in her eyes.

The train ride between towns is not long.

Later, under cheerful lanterns strung up at the Wen farm to celebrate Wei Ying's birthday, Lan Zhan mentions they've gotten a position at the museum they visited that first weekend.

Wei Ying's kiss tastes like cherry wine and happiness.

Epilogue thoughts:

Wei Ying's jiejie does her hair at the wedding. Jiang Cheng cries on Nie Huaisang at the reception. Mianmian and Mian's Ma'am and Xiao Mianmian are, of course, all in attendance as well.

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying hang a picture of all of them at the wedding in their new house, with an old, faded snapshot tucked in the corner of the frame.

#PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost!

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter Five

Chapter Five

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Summary: (fluff only) weekly Saturday reading only they are joined by an extra 15 lost boys, not just Spencer

Warnings (adding as they happen): fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers, library smut, oral (female receiving) lots and lots of fluff

word count: 3K

from the beginning <3

He woke up Saturday morning to the sound of a bunch of voices coming from beyond the walls of his room. Only it wasn’t his room, it was the room he slept in when he stayed with Y/N and Amoreena, he hasn’t left since he arrived on Thursday and he had no plan to either.

They still hadn’t told her about their relationship, not wanting her to come crawling into bed with her mom in the morning to find Spencer there too. She wasn’t ready to explain to Amoreena what it meant for Spencer to be in her bed, how they were in love and that she might need to learn how to knock before entering.

So he slept in the spare room, completely contently because he knew she was only on the other side of the wall, instead of 30 minutes away like she would be when he slept at his own apartment.

It had been a week since he saw them reading in the park, and now they were his family. It was incredibly fast, anyone who heard the news would say so. But that’s how his life worked, he blew through everything incredibly fast, it only made sense for him to skip every step in the book and become a stepdad overnight.

He woke up then, missing Y/N and Amoreena as he thought about the last week. Finally getting dressed and peaking outside, through the crack in the blinds, to see what was going on on the farm.

There were a bunch of men in the field with the cows dropping new cattle off in a big truck as a bunch of children ran around the yard. Y/N wasn’t kidding when she said her 7 siblings had produced 15 cousins for Amoreena to play with. Children all between the ages of toddler and 7-years-old, screaming while they ran after Rufus and the cats, it was a pure dopamine rush to witness.

He found Y/N in the living room, a book in one hand and a coffee in the other, “good morning cutie, all the ruckus on the farm wake you up?” She did her best fake southern accent as she smiled at him. Beautiful as ever in the early morning sunshine.

He nodded with a yawn, sitting beside her and snuggling into her shoulder. She placed her mug in his hands so she could wrap an arm around him and pull him in closer, letting him take a sip of coffee and become a real person again.

He noticed she was reading a book he had never seen before, reading the pages and not know the words. It was a first for him.

“What’s that one about?”

Y/N closed it to let him look at the cover. It was a hand-bound book, wrapped in green fabric that was at least 30 years old and in well-loved condition. The gold lettering reading Amoreena, along with a pressed gold rose and the author's name. He had never heard of it before.

“My grandma was an aspiring writer and the reason I love books so much, her name was Peggy and she had a dream once about a wonderful little girl named Amoreena and the magical life she created for herself. She wrote it all down and my grandpa had it typed and bound for her, she was so proud of this book,” Y/N gushed, smiling as she held it to her chest softly, thinking of all the memories Spencer didn’t know yet.

“Really?” Spencer couldn’t help but smile at her.

She nodded softly, “she loved Elton John, so much so that when my sister Ashley came out she threw her a party. Almost all those kids out there are Ashley's, by the way, she went down the adoption and foster root after I did IVF.”

She pointed out the front window at all the people gathered on her land, “Ben and Dylan dropped their kids off too while they help dad and Evan with the farm. Those are my brothers in case you didn’t know their names yet, there’s also Carver and Francis but they don’t live as close.”

Her little life was just so perfect, “did they want to come with us to read this afternoon? We need some lost boys.”

“They’d love that, are you sure you can handle 16 kids between the two of us?” she smiled, pure love spreading through her body as she held him.

“They’re not so different from psychopaths right?” He teased, watching her settle against him even more as they enjoyed their Saturday together.

“What else can you tell me about your grandma?” He snuggled into her more as he asked, wanting to know as much about her happiness as possible.

“She was always listening to music, she loved Elton's song Amoreena the most. It was the song she played for the majority of my childhood. It only made sense for me to name my little miracle Amoreena too, cause I wouldn’t have her unless nanny suggested I have a baby.”

“I would have loved to meet her.”

Y/N’s smile changed then, “she would have loved you and your big mind.”

“My mom wants to meet you and Amoreena,” he announces softly, he hasn’t really told her anything about his family yet.

“What’s she like?”

“She has schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s and she lives in a care home in DC right now, I try and see her when I can but she has her own schedule so I have to fit around when she’s having a good day,” it was hard to explain it to most people, but not to her. He didn’t feel any shame or fear in introducing them. Y/N was the most loving human, and Amoreena was just the same.

“When is she free next?” A simple question that made him feel incredibly giddy.

“Tuesday from 3-5,” he snuggled in closer to her as she wraps her arm around him.

“We’ll pick Amoreena up from school after work and take her over,” Y/N agreed, their lives intertwining like they were always meant to.

Like she was the ivy on his old cottage, she took him in and made him her own, wrapping herself all around him and never letting him go again.

He basically finishes her coffee while she holds him on the couch. The sound of the kids outside making them laugh every once in a while, dogs barking and cows mooing, the farm was alive and roaring while they enjoyed each other's company.

“Did you bring your costume for the reading today?”

He sat right up then, looking at her like she lost her mind, “of course I did, I wouldn’t have Penelope spend a week tracking down a Captain Hook costume just to forget it.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped, “you didn’t?!”

He simply nodded with a cheeky grin, “come on Tinker Bell, everyone knows she had a thing for Hook.”

“Who didn’t? He was the first and last bad boy I was interested in, I typically go more for Milo’s and Ariel’s; full of adventure and always learning something new,” Y/N teased him.

“Mhm, I always had a thing for Aladdin and Belle in search of far off lands and happy endings,” he mused, making her smile just as much as he was, “but for real it was between Hook and Wendy for my costume,” he made her laugh again, wanting to hear it for the rest of time.

“You still can, I have a blue nightgown you can borrow,” it was so easy for them to flirt, it fit into their conversation so simply it felt like they had been together forever.

He couldn’t help leaning in to kiss her, resting her back against the couch softly as she held onto him. He loved kissing her, she tasted like coffee and happiness every single time. She made the cutest sounds when they would make out like she was surprised by it or she wasn’t used to it at all.

She made him feel like he was young again like he was 21 and in love for the first time. All his trauma disappeared and that Spencer who used to stare back at him in the mirror was gone now. That guy packed his bags and left the farm to never be seen again.

Good fucking riddance is all he had to say.

He was happy, he enjoyed being happy and he was going to stay happy. It was the only goal he had going forward, and as long as he was in her embrace, surround by the laugher of her child and family, he knew it would be possible.

Amoreena came running inside then, finding the two of them making out on the couch before they could part from each other.

“Ewww!” She cried, jumping on top of the two of them and knocking the wind out of Spencer.

“Get off,” Y/N tried to speak as she was crushed by the two of them. “Mom down!”

Spencer picks Amoreena up then, taking her away from the couch and spinning her around like she’s an airplane. She cheers and cheers and doesn’t want him to put her down because it’s so fun. The next thing he knows he’s being dragged outside to twirl all the kids around like they’re Peter Pan, flying through the air on their way to Neverland.

He’s surrounded by giggles and tickles fights, he’s tackled down against the dirt as a herd of tiny children dog pilled him. Laughing until he cried, feeling more joy than humanly possible and then Y/N’s telling them all to get ready to he’d to the park.

Coming down the stairs in a pirate costume to a bunch of screaming kids was an experience and a half. Spencer couldn’t believe how happy it made them all to imagine Captain Hook had broken into the house and Amoreena, or Peter Pan as she corrected him, chased him outside with all the lost boys.

He took a moment to learn all their names, all 15 of them, however, unlike the cats, they had relatively normal people names.

Kate, Cade, Jet, Lauren, Cassie, Sara, Evan, Benny, Olivia, Jessie, Owen, Maddie, Gwen, August, and Parker, were the cutest little family of cousins. some looked like Amoreena, some looked like their own mothers, a handful of them were adopted out of the country, they were the most perfect cast of lost boys.

He's never had any cousins, no pets, no siblings. His life never felt lonely until he realized what he missed out on.

“Dad,” Amoreena whispered as she tugged on his shirt lightly, “look!”

She pointed towards the house where Y/N was standing. When she said she was going as Tinker Bell he really didn’t think she meant looking exactly like Julia Roberts at the end of Hook.

She looked magical in her beautiful white dress, curly hair with the most perfectly placed flowers and flawless wings wrapped around her shoulders. She was a vision standing on the porch, waiting for him to pick his jaw up off the floor and compliment her.

“Tink,” the words are more like air, soft and barely there.

“Is Captain Hook being nice? Or should we take him to the pond and let the Alligators deal with him?” Y/N teased, marching down the stairs and poking Spencer's chest.

“Ouch,” he teased her, holding his hand over his heart to make her feel bad.

But she didn’t, “some Pirate you are,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him before taking Amoreena’s hand and running off down the trail towards the main house, everyone following her lead.

Nanny packed enough snacks for all 16 kids, and a little extra just in case. Spencer slipped the lunch box over his shoulder and they made their way towards the adventure. Y/N pulling a wagon just in case the littlest ones didn’t want to walk anymore. It was spectacular.

Y/N stopped then, pretending to stand like an army man turning around abruptly to look at the troop. “Lost boys, are we ready?”

“Yes, Tinker Bell!” They cheered back.

“On my lead, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4,” she marched, bringing her knees up high as they all followed her down the path. “We’re following the leader, the leader, the leader,” she began to sing.

Spencer was in awe, his heart felt like it was going to explode as he watched everyone follow her. Singing along as they marched their tiny little butts down to the park.

“We’re following the leader wherever she may go!” Amoreena yelled the lyrics back, leading the pack as Peter Pan should.

“Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee day Tee dum, tee dee, it's part of the game we play Tee dum, tee dee, the words are easy to say Just a teedle ee dum, a teedle ee do tee day

Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee dum We're one for all, and all of us out for fun We march in line and follow the other one With a teedle ee do, a teedle ee do tee dum”

It was like magic, they all knew the words and they sang the whole way down the path. Every verse and then repeating it. Not a single kid strayed from the path, no one complained about sore feet or hot backs, they loved their Aunty Y/N and so did Spencer.

“We’re off on an adventure, adventure, adventure,” Y/N changed the words, making him smile as she brought happiness into the world. “We’re off on an adventure to read out in the sun! Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee day…”

Every single time he thought she had given him the best day of his life, she manages to outdo herself.

—

They barely listened to the story, it was a disaster of epic proportions but they tried. 15 kids is a lot to handle as an ex FBI agent and a librarian, they had lunch and instead ran around the field playing lost boys instead. It was still an amazing afternoon.

He was going to be covered in bruises the next morning. He had been kicked, poked, trampled, jumped on, the whole 9 yards. They were the most energetic bunch in the whole world, and then they came home to ice cream.

“Y/N,” Spencer finally pulled her aside when all the kids were preoccupied with their cold snack after a hot day.

“Yes, cutie?” It was a nickname that was sticking, much like pretty boy, and he didn’t mind it at all.

“We’re going to need more than 2 songs tonight to get her to go to bed,” he teased, stepping into that step-dad role with ease.

She couldn’t stop smiling at him, wrapping him up in her arms gently so he didn’t crush her fairy wings. “We’ll take her swimming, that’ll tire her out instead. Are you lookin’ for some alone time?”

“I love her dearly, but I can’t kiss you as much when she’s around,” he whispered before pecking her quickly and hearing the group of lost boys pretend to be sick.

“Just because he’s my dad doesn’t mean you have to be gross like your mom and dad, mom,” Amoreena’s smart mouth making them both shake their heads and laugh.

“What would you do if I did this?” Y/N teased before dipping Spencer back like a princess and kissing him, he stuck his foot out in shock as she held him there.

“Ewww!!” All the kids yelled as she returned him to his feet.

“Or this?” Y/N pulled him into another kiss, her leg popping like Princess Mia’s in the princess diaries.

Amoreena and her cousins were all screaming then, laughing at how gross their aunt and her new boyfriend were being. Used to it clearly, their grandparents were just as in love and watching from the porch as they held each other on the swing.

“I love you,” Spencer announced, loud enough for all to hear without a care in the world.

“You better,” she smiled. “I love you too, cutie,” she added before kissing him one last time.

His life felt perfectly complete.

Y/N’s brothers were incredibly kind just like her. He learned that Ashley was the oldest with 5 kids and her wife Susie, then Ben who was 46 and his wife Shannon, they had 3 kids. Dylan and Laurie had 4 and Even, her twin brother had 3.

Turns out her mom had 2 sets of twins back to back, 7 children and only 5 pregnancies. It felt crazy for him to think about having that many people in his life for his whole life, he wouldn’t have known what to do with anyone more than just his mother growing up.

Spencer helped Bob with the barbecue, they made burgers and hotdogs for all 16 of the children while they continued to run through the fields. They had enough energy to last them 5 straight days of chaos. It was amazing.

Y/N and Spencer managed to wander off while all the kids ate, sitting under a tree with their dinner so they could finally have some time alone together.

She was beautiful, sitting in the afternoon amber glow as she tried to keep her hair from blowing in her face. Tucking the strands behind her ears so she could eat her dinner in peace before spencer handed her the hair tie on his wrist. Then she got ketchup on her cheek, seemingly on purpose as she smiled at him and laughing as Spencer wiped it off with his thumb. He was so in love he felt stupid, smiling at her like he’s never seen another person before, absolutely enamoured.

“Derek and his wife wanted to come over tomorrow and have his son meet Amoreena if that’s okay?”

Her face lit up, “his son is the one named after you right? Not your godson?”

He nodded with yet another smile, his lips were going to fall off at this point. “Yeah, he’s the sweetest little guy, Hank’s never been to a farm before.”

“You tell them our gates are always own to new minds and pure hearts,” she smiled. “That’s what nanny used to say.”

He leans in and kisses her then, resting his forehead against hers as she held his cheek in her free hand, smiling ever so softly as she stared into his eyes, they didn’t need words, he knew she loved him too. A week of pure bliss had passed within the blink of an eye, and they still had forever to go.

Taglist: @shemarmooresfedora @spookyspence @spencers-dria @manuosorioh @reidsfish @mochionly (send me an ask if you want to be added to the tag list, I don't always see every reply! i love you guys thank you so much for reading)

[usmsgutterson]

Certainly- Kaz Brekker

The reader is a bit of an astrology and astronomy alike geek for this, which I hope y’all don’t mind! Also, in this case, phones exist so lets pretend that phones exist in Ketterdam, making it a bit of a modern au, I guess!

Also, this’ll probably be a bit ooc for Kaz

Fic type- angsty fluff

Warnings- blood, mentions of death, and the reader is sick (nothing specific, I just kind of took random symptoms and made up a word for the sickness)

You were determined to see the stars before you went, and as you grew sicker, none of the crows knew when that would be, so, after a little convincing, the crows had gotten Colm to let you spend a couple of months at his farm in Novyi Zem, where the stars were the clearest at night, not burdened by light pollution or the screams of lively cities. 

It was the seven of you crammed into a basement, sharing beds, but none of them cared, and you were just glad to be with the people you called family. You were happy that they were with you, that Kaz was willing to wheel you everywhere when you got too weak to stand, that Jesper still made jokes, even despite watching you deteriorate. You were grateful for Inejs smile, Wylans music, Ninas impeccable tastes and Matthias and his big arms that could lift you and put you down without issue. 

The six of them had started taking shifts taking you outside. Nina took you outside Sunday nights, Matthias Mondays, Wylan Tuesdays, Jesper Thursdays, Inej Fridays and Kaz Saturdays. Wednesdays you rested up; ate when it was time to eat, used the bathroom when you needed, took a shower if it were the appropriate time, but other than that, you slept.

It was Kaz’s day to wheel you out, and you’d had a particularly rough day that day. Inej went with him, promising not to intrude on the time that you would spend together. She’d do backflips and run across the roof of the farm if you asked her to, but she’d not interrupt otherwise. 

“I love the stars,” you whispered, leaning back in your wheelchair and tightening the hold of the blanket over your lap. “Thank you both. For doing this.” 

“Don’t you worry, love,” Kaz murmured. “Just keep your eyes on the stars, okay?”

“We’re happy to do this,” Inej added. “All of us are. Really.” It was like both of them could sense it as well as you could. You had a feeling that the night would end terribly, just like the morning had begun.

You’d woken up only to need to rush to the toilet immediately, blood coming up your throat like bile, staining your skin and leaving your bottom lip red as a cherry. 

Kaz had been at your side in a minute, Nina and Wylan right behind him. Wylan kept your hair away from the sides of your face, Nina slowed your heartrate and Kaz wet a cloth with cold water to get your body temp down. 

Kaz had forced himself to stay in the moment, to not let his thoughts stray to the urge to sleep in the same bed as you to make sure that nothing happened while you slept--to be there in case something did--but to stay on the sun as it set and the faraway sound of Wylan playing his flute with the window open so that you’d be able to hear it. 

Once you’d gotten settled under a tree, Inej ran off, making her way inside and up to the barns roof, where she sat, keeping a watch from a distance as Kaz let you rest your head against his shoulder, gloved hand interlaced with yours. 

“I love you, Brekker,” you murmured. “Please don’t forget that. Ever.” 

“I won’t,” he whispered. “You’re gonna stay around and get better until we can spar again, and you can beat my ass even though I’ve my cane as a weapon.” 

“You know full well I can’t promise that,” you wished that you could. You desperately wished. “I’m going to die young, Kaz. I’m not gonna get to eighteen, much less eighty.” Kaz hated you for that.

He hated you because everything that you said somehow managed to be right. It was like you had a sixth sense for that kind of thing, and while, on missions, it proved useful, in that scenario, it just proved annoying. 

“You’re gonna make it to eighteen if it kills me,” he informed you. “I’ll take you around the globe if I need to, just to make sure you end up okay. I will not live a life without you in it, Y/N.” 

“You’re sweet,” you murmured. “Incredibly sweet.”

“Only to you, L/N.” That was the last bit of conversation for a long while as the sun set and the stars came out.

“Did you know that the moon isn’t circular?” You pointed lazily to it, bright and beautiful amongst the even brighter stars. “According to scientests, it’s actually shaped like a lemon!” Kaz didn’t fight his smile.

Of course you’d be spouting off the little factoids you knew about space. You loved it, how vast and crazy it all seemed. 

“And that the clouds at the center of the Milky Way smell like raspberries and rum?” Kaz snorted.

“Okay, now, theres no way that ones true!” 

“Oh,” you leaned up, booping his nose without a care in the world. “But it is! It’s in a study somewhere, I think! Look it up!” He laughed, pulling you closer to him as you rambled.

Inej had started doing running flips across the roof, spinning and dancing and no doubt laughing as she did. Kaz knew it was an elaborate effort to get you to smile, and it seemed to work as she moved; a delightful silhouette amongst a star filled sky. 

“I love you, Kaz Brekker,” you whispered. “You don’t need to say it back, but I really, truly do love you with every bone that exists in my body.”

“I love you too,” he said it without hesitation. “And I’ll love you until we’re old and grey, I swear it.”

“Don’t hold me to that promise,” you murmured. “You know how bad this is. Stop thinking that I’ll make it into the new year. I probably wont.”

“You will if it kills me, Y/N,” he gave your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “I’ll drain the bank dry if I have to, I swear to Ghezen.”

You didn’t say anything after, too exhausted to even think about starting an argument with him, simply not wanting to. 

But then, an hour later, Kaz felt fear trickle into his stomach like it hadn’t ever in his life.

“And then theres Supernova. It’s like a star that’s dying having it’s last celebration. Like when we get a really big win, or when we get away with what we intended to get away with, and we all get shitfaced before we collapse onto our beds and sleep for the night? A supernova is a dying stars explosion. It’s the last celebration that the star has before it dies out.” you’d been rambling.

“Tonight is my... tonight is my...” Kaz had called for Nina right then and there, screaming her name while he felt you go slack against him.

“Zenik!” He screamed, not caring at all if he were to wake up Jespers father. “Zenik, call in that fucking favor with the bloody Ravkan prince!” Matthias came barreling out after her, phone in hand, already speaking to someone as Nina began working, steadying your heart and trying her hardest to keep you alive. 

Kaz had to force himself to walk away from it all, pushing his feet away after giving your shoulders one last squeeze and walking far out into the field. 

Once he was sure he was out of earshot, he couldn’t stop himself. Tears flooded his eyes and he found himself glaring at the sky, wanting to scream, wanting to shout, wishing that there was someone around that he could gut like a fish. 

“Saints,” he murmured through gritted teeth. “Sankt Ilya, Sankt Adrik, Sankta Alina of The Fold, I know I am a terrible person, but Y/N is not. They’re good, they smile, they laugh, they’re kind to others when those people probably don’t deserve their kindness. I know I’m damned, I know that you probably strongly dislike me, but they’re different.” He’d never asked the Saints for anything before, and he never would again.

“Please, just, let them live. Let them get the life that they deserve. I’ll do my best to make them happy, but you have to let me,” he wiped the tears from his eyes as they came. “They deserve the life that you’re so willing to take away, and all I ask is that you don’t take it.” He heard the sounds of the ambulance car and raced back to you, gripping your hand as they helped you onto a stretcher and out of the field, through the house and out the entrance. 

I won’t lose them, he told himself. A world without them is one that’s unbearable. 

O N E Y E A R L A T E R 

You laughed as Nina chased you through the halls of the Little Palace, running quickly through the endless corridors, your laughter carrying through them as you kept yourself in front of Nina.

Nikolai had kept you in the Os Altan palace since that night, where Inej laughed and danced and did her flips, whilst Wylan played the piano and Kaz sat beside you, listening to your ramblings without a care in the world. 

“You seem delighted,” Nikolai noticed as you stopped in front of his office. “I’ve never seen you walk without that Brekker boy at your side, much less run while Zenik is on your tail!” You shrugged, laughing as Ninas front crashed into your back.

“This is the best I’ve felt in a year,” you murmured. “I figured I’d see if Nina was up to chase me around this morning, and I haven’t stopped running since!” You peered in through the open office door, looking for that familliar mop of dark brown hair.

Nina wrapped her arms around you and gave you a gentle squeeze. “He’ll be here any minute,” she murmured. “He and the boys are just finishing up a job for Nik in East Ravka, but Matthias told me the second that they’d left!”

“Trust me. Y/N,” Nikolais smooth voice murmured. “I put them on one of my fastest boats. I knew how long it’d take them to get from here to east Ravka and back, and I promised him he’d be here when you finally awoke.” 

“Hows it feel, anyway?” Zoya appeared at his side. “Eighteen, I mean.” You shrugged.

“I miss Kaz,” you murmured bluntly. “I hate that I have to tell him that he was right, but I still miss him.” 

Nikolai took Zoyas hand, pulling her close as you and Nina watched, smiles on your faces. 

“Young love,” Zoya teased. “Zenik, let go of them so that they can turn around.” Nina obeyed, letting you go and moving to lean against the doorway with Nikolai and Zoya. 

You turned, and smiled when your gazes met. “You were right, Brekker,” you murmured, walking toward him as he held out your gift to you. “I’m better now, and the second that you’re ready to spar, I’m gonna beat your ass, even though you’ve your cane as a weapon.” He grabbed your pinky with his the moment you were within distance.

“How’d the heist go?” You murmured once the two of you had walked out of earshot. 

“Good,” Kaz let himself be close to you as you two moved, squeezing your pinky as you slowed your steps. “Plan went off without a hitch, for three idiots and a mastermind with a limp. I brought you this from it,” he held the gift out to you again, and you took it in your free hand, examining it.

“I had to ask permission for that,” he murmured. “I had to get the Ravkan kings seal of approval to steal that for you.” You laughed, looking it over.

It was a journal. Black and leather bound, pages crisp and untouched. A pen was tucked into the cover. 

“I promise, we’ll go home soon,” you responded. “I miss Ketterdam. I could go for some waffles.” 

“Don’t they have waffles here?” Kaz questioned.

“Not Ketterdam waffles, love. Ketterdam waffles are unlike any pathetic waffle from here! Doused in syrup and whip cream--” You let out a satisfied sigh. “So good it’s almost surreal!” Kaz smirked.

“Waffle date when you’re well enough to return home then?” 

“Certainly.”

[bio-nerds-corner]

Rehabilitation

tws for: same kind of suicidal ideation as in the previous one but this time it's actually discussed more overtly, self-harm, actual vore holy fuck i did it, asphyxiation (its all good dont worry), mentions of fatal vore (doesnt happen), the general heartbreak of realizing you have found a reason to live

Your name is K-J004P Purple Collar Karl. You are… an adult, yes, your favorite colors are green and purple, you’ve grown to have a liking for bitter foods for how they chase away blander flavors you had grown up on, and you have never been outside of a human farm until approximately 1 month ago. You were born and raised and intended to die in one, with the knowledge that sure, there was a world outside of it, but it’s going-ons were not of your concern. You were raised prepared to die one day, eaten alive and willingly. 

(You are still pretty prepared for that eventuality. You just need to wait a little longer.) 

But god, was it hard to survive to that point. The world was enormous and cold and dark and you have never had to worry about things like where your next meal or drink of fresh water would be. You never had to worry about the fact that there was a weird funk about your clothes and the cubbies were far more cozy a sleeping spot than whatever you could find out here, that the universe wasn’t specifically designed to hold a large amount of humans in relative comfort and with all needs provided.

Wow. Being free sucks. 

The first giant you ever encountered that wasn’t a human-farm worker or anthropo-agricultural scientist was named Technoblade (and yes. You weren’t a child anymore you knew giants had to have names just like humans did. It still weirded you the hell out at the time). You… didn’t quite get off on the right foot. You had taken one long look up at the giant, what with his snarling tusks and shaggy bristly fur and golden crown, and something small and warm in you perked up in excitement. 

The conversation, roughly, went along like this. 

You: Hi! You are huge and look amazing. Can I be eaten by you? 

Techno: What the fuck. What the hell is wrong with you. 

And then you were brought into his house. Good first try, you supposed. Techno was apparently vegan. Which you should have known given the fact that he looks nothing like a human, and everything like a giant pig monster instead. You sure are learning a lot today. 

You weren’t the only human to have passed through there, apparently. Through a stroke of marvelous luck, there was somehow another purple-collar (or, well, ex-purple-collar) already living with Techno. Despite your shared past experiences, you were still far more comfortable around giants than your new companion was. 

(He had already picked the name Purpled by the time you got there. That seemed unfair to you, but then again, he did have seniority in this whole ‘free will outside of a farm’ thing so you guessed you had to deal with it. The two of you spent way too long finding your own name.)

Despite apparently being happy enough to bring any lost human in from the forests that bordered along that farm, Techno apparently didn’t have the space, nor the time to help make sure you were habituated to life on the outside. Neither you nor Purpled were, well, safe to set loose onto the world as is. 

(A part of you rankled at that classification. What did it matter if it was safe? That kind of was the point after all? Weren’t you just passing from one way of keeping you back from your goal to another now? 

You couldn’t bring yourself to leave, though.) 

So Techno separated you from Purpled and introduced you to another friend who was adverse enough towards eating humans live and whole to be trusted. Quackity seemed… friendly enough. If extremely weirded out by your initial attempt to test his supposed ‘aversion to eating humans.’ The first couple of days in the giant’s house was full of poking and prodding and testing every lock and window and figuring out how to navigate a world so big. When it wasn’t consisting of extremely dangerous climbing attempts, it was with Quackity, bordering on pleading with him to just let you go, you’ll find your way, he doesn’t need to worry about you. 

... 

As you got used to being shuffled between Quackity’s and Techno’s places, you also got used to the company that both of them kept. Dream, for instance, was… intense. You always were nervous hanging around him because he made it very obvious just how little you know about humans outside of the farms. Just how different you were from him. When you let slip how often you were handled when you were younger, just as an aside to explain why you had absolutely no trouble catching footing in the fabric of Quackity’s clothing while using him as a step-stool up to a higher counter, there was a few seconds of silence before you looked back at him. 

He was staring at you with unrepressed disgust. You don’t like hanging out with Dream anymore. 

Sapnap, on the other hand, intrigued you. And, as a mystery giant who has enough humanoid appearance to indicate a human-heavy diet, you probably had a bit more luck with him than you would have had with anyone else present. 

You may have been a bit too desperate when you asked. The interest that Sapnap eyed you with died the moment you showed no inkling of fear towards your own demise. The giant had lifted you up, batting you between hands like a cat would with prey, but you really didn’t care all that much. You’d been handled more roughly, this was perfectly fine. You could smell his ashy breath as he grilled (ha) you for more information on why you had been perfectly content about throwing yourself to your own death. 

He looked vaguely sick as you tried to lay your thoughts down in front of him. You could feel your heart sink as he dropped you down onto the table and stared into the middle distance after you finished talking about it. You guessed that he, too, was a dud. God, how was this so hard? 

You saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye as you came to terms with the fact that, once again, what should have been an incredibly easy plan to complete your life mission was foiled. You turned, and locked eyes with a white mask peeking out from the shadows at the base of a dresser. 

Dream never seeked you out after that point. At least you both were avoiding one another now. 

... 

Things came to a head about a week into your stay. You were bored. That’s a normal feeling for humans to have, it happened all of the time. Unfortunately you didn’t have your purple collar to mess with, and no other objects that were purely yours except for the blanket you had brought with you, bright multicolor splotches that were slowly bleaching themselves grey with use. You spent a quiet afternoon picking at it and gently unraveling it, chewing on the freed fibers just for something to do. Eventually, even this became boring and you started chewing on your own hand, whichever one wasn’t currently yanking at the fiber cloth to untangle it further. 

Four hours into this exercise of destructive boredom Quackity had entered the room, gaze drifting between the pile of chewed-off fibers and your knuckles, red-raw and bleeding in the soft parts between fingers. 

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, obviously dumbfounded. You shared that sentiment. Wasn’t it obvious? 

“I was bored,” you said, by way of explanation. 

Quackity was just more confused looking now, before something apparently dawned on him and, with a long-suffering sigh that you couldn’t tell where it was directed, swiped a hand through his yellow feathers. “Look man, do you have hobbies? I had no idea you were bored, I would’ve gotten you a book or something if you were.” 

Ok, this just kept getting more confusing. You frowned up at the giant. “I can’t read.” 

Quackity threw his hands up. “That was just an example! What did you do when you were bored before?” 

“I… do this?" It was a central tenant to life in the farms. If you're bored, break your own stuff before you mess with others, and so on. Everyone gets stressed out and wants to fidget, so at least this way everyone wasn't attacking one another out of frustration every time the food ran dry or too many adults were taken during a harvest. "I don’t know what else you mean?” In hindsight when considering this central tenant in your life with other humans back on the farm, that boredom and frustration should be taken out in a specific order, it made sense that giants wouldn't know, since the final rule was always to never take it out on Big Ones. That always got you hurt and more frustrated afterward. 

Quackity still looked confused, and now a little worried. 

(You never would know, Quackity or Sapnap or any of the other giants you know would never tell you, but during that first week, Quackity had started reading into caring and keeping of humans. He didn’t think of you as a pet, no, definitely not... he just thought it might be a good idea to read up on what the experts thought was good manners and correct foods for being a good host. Many articles were closed in frustration after realizing just how degrading a lot of the treatment was most of the time, but all of the articles had agreed: self-destructive behavior was a sign of understimulation, and ultimately was not a good sign at all.) 

Quackity bought you a phone the next day, and began the arduous effort of teaching you how to read giant’s writing. Your blanket, the only thing left from your time in your childhood farm, remained half-unravelled and tattered. 

… 

You decided, after having learned enough about the writing and how to decipher meaning from the giant text, that reading was nice. Technoblade was kind enough to help you set up the phone, and figure out a way to get it so that you could access the internet through it much like a desktop computer. It was just a quick hop from there to engaging in video games. 

As you filled your days with soaking up knowledge, with creating and destroying and creating once again and most of all, of being able to decide to do what you want for yourself, you felt… What’s the right word for it? Content. You felt your brain hurt and your eyes burn when you went to bed, but it was a good hurt. Or so you’ve been told. Somehow, Quackity and Technoblade and everyone else could tell ‘good’ hurt from ‘bad’ hurt. 

You don’t chew on your knuckles so much these days. 

You think you like studying history. (It sure is weird to have ‘likes’ now that could be quantified in such a way.) 

... 

The fateful day, what could poetically be called the first day of the rest of your life, began at 2 am. You were drifting in dreamland, having stayed over at Sapnap’s out of convenience for the night. 

(Sapnap was drifting in a very different sense. Padding softly from room to room, thoughts a turmoil of guilt and anger and things indescribable. He was thinking of Dream again. Or rather, what he did to one of his (former) best friends. His had welled up, as it had many times before, in the dark hours of night. Usually it was a sleepless night of anger and guilt and self loathing and restlessness. 

But usually, the house didn’t contain a human. ) 

Without even hesitating, Sapnap had grabbed you from your comfy nest of blankets, and you started straight from a dead sleep. Startled, you flinched and thrashed as pointed claws dug into your ribs slightly more painfully than usual. No matter how much you were habituated to giants, no amount of good genetics and training could rid you of your surprise upon waking up in one’s grasp. 

Some primal part of Sapnap appeared to finally be pleased with this change in behavior, as before you could even orient yourself you were being thrown into a mouth. Teeth clicked just barely behind your feet, and a tongue crushed you against the roof of the mouth. You wriggled, trying to get a full breath in, and with an almost feverish pace the mouth started vigorously covering your clothes and hair up in spit. 

There was no enjoyment out of the task, no stops to savor the human in that giant’s mouth. As if it were being done out of some sense of obligation, or was expected of them. You were unceremoniously pushed to the back of the giant’s throat and, sodden as you were, swallowed in one gulp. 

By this point you had caught a whiff of that ashen scent Sapnap always had on his breath, and as such could identify the giant who just ate you. Adrenaline-pounding your body was as of now, however, there was exactly nothing you could do with this information. 

The air in his lungs breathed out long and hard as you slid down his esophagus, and you felt a buzz through your body as Sapnap spoke, rattling you many times stronger than you ever felt even when lying directly on his neck. 

“‘Least I can settle Karl’s goddamn death wish. ‘Least I’m good for something,” he was growling, and as your face exposed to open air, and a moment later your shoulders popped through and you fell into a dark fleshy pouch. 

Sapnap started pacing, the movements jarring and tense as you reoriented yourself again and got yourself upright, bracing against the beating of an enormous heart just above you. The air smelled of smoke, and somehow managed to be both slimy and dry enough to suck moisture from your skin. You began to shake uncontrollably, as if you were freezing cold and not uncomfortably body-temperature-warm. 

(Just a tiny lump of moving matter in an anxious and angry and guilty giant who wasn’t thinking straight. Barely felt below the pounding in Sapnap’s ears, the shouting in his head to stop being such an idiot, this was only worse for all his guilt about Dream’s arm, just go spit out Karl, and maybe go lie in a ditch in the rain for a little while and listen to his own self-hatred. The comfort he had hoped for when swallowing Karl apparently wasn’t enough to drown that out.) 

A part of you, practically a choir, chanted in delight. This is it. This is the end. You succeeded. You are finished. The efforts you made ever since you were born are able to come to fruition. Nothing more is expected of you. 

Another part of you, the part that was reading a rather fascinating study on how the shape shifting in giants affected how warfare was conducted in their society, the part that built new and elaborate stories for your friends to fascinate over, the part that delighted in finding ways to make meals that always made your friends’ faces pucker up at the sour-bitterness of them, dissented. 

This is wrong, far too much of you said. This is wrong. This is bad. 

You abruptly realize, with a sick feeling, that you do not want this. This thought will eventually be one you turn over a lot, mull over it thoughtfully like it is a new and shiny object, picking apart at your leisure. For now, though, it brings with it dread. 

You do not want this. You do not want to stop here. You had a paper to finish reading and a lore plot to finish and three recipes you were keeping for a rainy day and friends to meet and things to experience and. 

(You don’t want to die.) 

You curled up, tucked as tight as you could against the wall of the esophageal pouch. As tense as it was from Sapnap’s agitation, it felt like laying against steel covered with a single layer of thin slimy foam. Then you start to shake even more fiercely, panting slightly at the force. Finally, finally, you are feeling your species’ fear towards giants. And of course it’s too late. 

Sapnap is still talking, but despite how all encompassing his voice was, you were having a hard time processing it. Spots of black, darker than even the darkness of the internal organ you were trapped in, danced behind your eyes. Oxygen deprivation, you eventually realized. You were hyperventilating. The sphincter was air-tight. You were quickly suffocating, probably barely a foot away from oxygen-rich lungs. 

Your head swam, and you tried to take in a deep breath. “Sapnap,” you croaked, before trying again. “Sapnap… I’m scared.” 

The giant went silent. 

(Even his lungs stopped, half way through an unsteady inhale. All you could hear was the loud loud loud thud of his heart) 

You tried another shakey too-deep and ultimately unsatisfying breath. “Sapnap,” you said again. “I don’t want to die.” 

The black blotches crowded your vision, and the inside of your head felt distinctively cold, for some reason. Sapnap had started talking again, maybe calling your name, but it was all garbled in your ears. 

(It sure is funny how you are asphyxiating, and yet you can't feel any of that choking panic you would expect. Funny. Yeah.) 

You curled up as tight as you could go and leaned back against the muscular wall. Your brain finally rearranged its priorities, and quietly turned your consciousness off like a light switch. 

… 

You came to again on a table, a bright light buzzing above you. You sucked in deep breaths, coughing as slime around your mouth got caught in your throat, blinking at the blazing glow. Your vision was off-kilter, and bobbed slightly as you tried to raise your head. Oh wait - it's bobbing because you swung your head too hard. Whoops. 

Wow you feel weird. You almost forgot to take another breath but your body takes care of it. You try to get up because you need to get up and wobble, half-way leaning up, then fall back onto your back. Ok, Karl, take it slowly now.

Something blocked the light. It was big and moving and - 

You blinked a few times, and your eyes got with the program. They focused on the shape, which turned out to be Sapnap. 

Oh… Yea. That’s what had happened. You really should have remembered that quicker than you did. 

Sapnap stared at you. You stared back. Then, slowly, Sapnap lowered his head to thump loudly on the table you were laying on. The vibration jolted the rest of your senses back online, and abruptly you could hear your heart beating like a jackrabbit in your ears. 

Oh god. 

Oh god. 

You almost… You had… 

But now you don’t… 

Sapnap seemed to be going through a rather similar breakdown, and you could (if you bothered to look) see tears streaming down his face, the minute shivering, his fist clutching the edge of the table hard enough to force his fingers a ghostly white. 

You got to your feet unsteadily, the sticky slime on you drying fast and sticking uncomfortably to your skin. Then you made your way to your room. You had a lot to think about… and for the first time, you felt nervous about being out in the open while you had those thoughts. 

(A single bad experience isn't enough to undo a lifetime of getting used to the idea of your own mortality at the hands of beings far more powerful than yourself, but it certainly gave you a crash course on the fear that came with that kind of thinking.)