#where the writer will never find me
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ways in which I am tragically annoying no.452:
Have bookmarked a beautiful fic series that explores a very nuanced and interesting non-sexual BDSM qpr for the ship Radiodust, notably the only portrayal of it that I’ve been able to stand. Gorgeous. Love it.
Unfortunately, there is a section of the series where Alastor is describing what he gets out of playing with Angel where it finally clicked in my brain, “Huh. Yknow, what he’s describing would work excellently with Lucifer, too.” And that’s how I started shipping Radioapple. With rabid intensity. But I would still love nothing more than to see THIS version of Alastor going through the absolute indignity of experiencing a crush (bc I want to crush him in my jaws Angel shut up) with Angel to coach him through it while laughing his ass off. I want it like breathing. And I have forbidden myself from leaving a comment on this series bc I know something stupid about “hey your fic made me ship something completely different so thanks for that, could you satisfy my new curiosity please?” would slip out of my stupid mouth. But you don’t just say that to fic writers and I don’t think I could write it myself, or that it would be received well XDD just given context clues of the series I don’t think the author would appreciate Lucifer suddenly appearing in their soft Angel-centric world.
#at least I can get these thoughts out on tumblr#where the writer will never find me#I have loved many flavors of Radioapple but nobody has gone the route I would love this writer to take with it#and also angel and Lucifer double session with Alastor being mouthy bitches and driving him insane??#yes pls#but alas this must live only in my heart
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I'm going to be so real I do not understand tim & steph shippers who feel that Steph dating Tim again would save her character. You can make an argument that giving Tim a more compelling love interest would be beneficial for him! And you can at least make an argument that the fujo mischaracterization of Steph would stop. However she'd still, inevitably, be treated as a prop character/extension for someone more popular 😭 it also wouldn't make her appear in more books! Tim doesn't have many frequent appearances at the moment either! You can just say you like the couple and want them back together without acting like you have some kind of moral stance
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#NOT character tagging. for reasons j feel are obvious#honestly i shouldn't even be posting this here I'm responding more to twitter sentiments but they'd cook me on there if i posted this#anyway sometimes i think ppl (again the twt ppl specifically. tumblr timsteph fans mostly normal) are doing that thing-#-where you get so deep into a hyper online discourse cycle that you end up reproducing mainstream sentiments from scratch#''let men date women!'' this is what some of you sound like when talking about timsteph to me /j#there's a lot to critique about how Tim's been written since canonizing his bisexuality!#personally I've noticed (and seen other ppl notice to) that some writers seem unaware that tim is bi#not in the sense of making him straight but in the sense that they seem to think he's gay bc none of his relationships w women-#-are acknowledged as having been. relationships#or if they are there's an idea that tim was using them to 'hide from his true self' or something#genuinely problematic sentiment!#i also don't really find the ''he should cheat on bernard!'' jokes funny#like lets bffr Tim's cheating was NEVER acknowledged as cheating he was seen as a good all-american boy#so like. bringing that trait back and acknowledging it as cheating ONLY after he comes out as bi? i get it- ironic homophobia but-#-i really don't like it!#anyway. close your eyes and focus on the daminika like the rest of us /j#or the stephcass jason dancing image which will live in my head and heart forever despite arguably being ooc as well <3#bc it's funny <3 and at least I'm self aware <3#also much MUCH more importantly DC POWER SPECIAL EXTREMELY GOOD GO READ IT FOR DUKE#and jace but i haven't read future state yet bc i tried and got. extremely bored 😞 sorry jace you seem really cool#but he's great in the story dynamjc duo with duke. loved it love them want more#special was sold out at my comic shop tho so i couldn't grab a copy. might hit the other shop in town today to see#BOOST THE NUMBERS WE NEED A POWER COMPANY ONGOING GANG#anyway yeah. tim & steph thoughts. you can just say you like them you don't have to do all that
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I understand why it wasn't possible, but it's such a shame we couldn't get Jenny back for The Wish. She and Giles fighting a losing battle side by side and being hardened from it, but remaining each other's solace. Them piecing together the puzzle Cordelia presents to them and having faith in a world better than this, only for Anyanka to try and throw them by hinting at Jenny's death should they return. Giles faltering at the thought of losing her and Jenny, once again, sacrificing herself and destroying the necklace. The way she sees it: she'll either be dead by The Master's hand or by her own, and only one of those inevitabilities gives the man she loves a chance of survival. She kisses him as she plunges herself into the abyss, wanting the last thing she experiences to be his love.
Giles waking up the following morning, the pang in his heart he always feels whenever he remembers Jenny accompanied by a newfound feeling of emptiness, and he's not quite sure why.
#buffy the vampire slayer#calendiles#jenny calendar#is doomed by the narrative i fear: and the writers will never be forgiven for that#rupert giles#he chooses her this time around#he can't go through with losing her even if it will save the world#he endured because he had jenny how on earth can he lose her now? and it certainly won't be by his hand#but jenny also chooses him - she refuses to allow him to remain in a world where meeting their maker in the Master feels inevitable#and she knows he knows she's doing the right thing and she can only hope he finds a new happiness in the world from which he came#which he never does - but he constantly dwells on the happiness he could have had with her.#they could have ran the magic box together. it would have been perfect for the both of them.#he likes to think she'd enjoy england but knows she'd last about three days before wanting to leave (and that's a generous assessment.)#and when the kids are leading their grown up lives away from him he longs for jenny to be curled up in his arms#he'll never know he briefly had her back#but the life he wanted them to live wasn't possible in the world in which they made it#something to potentially write one day#if anyone does know any fics with this concept though please let me know!#meg.txt
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Im just yapping but there is this fic on fimficton called Discord of Tomorrow that’s about s2 evil discord traveling forward in time right before he can be turned to stone to switch places with the version of himself (reformed discord) that exists when the elements of harmony are gone, so reformed discord gets stuck in the past and has had to snap away and hide the elements of harmony from the mane 6 so he can focus on trying to get back to the future without getting turned to stone, all while dealing with the moral dilemma of him realizing how easy it was to take the elements and how easy it would be to seriously just take Equestria over again vs being worried about what evil discord is currently doing to his friends in present time. It’s only like three chapters but I think the plot is so funny and the author didn’t even get to the part where evil discord is in the future and the mane 6 is trying to figure out wtf his problem is, thinking he has amnesia or something. I want to make a comic expanding on it so bad I’m like seriously obsessed with it I can’t stop thinking about it
#jabber#there is zero info on where to find the writer the fic is like 8 years old#I wish I could find the author so bad#drawing mlp Is like so easy that I’m getting comic hungry#the idea of past discord being like god past me was so stupid I could have permanently his the elements and#skipped that whole song and dance with the riddle and the labyrinth#. he like hides out in fluttershys cottage while the mane 6 are at twilights freaking out about how evil discord#got away and reformed discord snapping the elements off their necks#and he is messing around and wearing the elements around his torso going on about how easy it is to take them#I want to draw that specifically#then later flutter shy shows up at her cottage and is freaked to find him there but tries to fake nice with him to get him to stay so#the mane 6 have time to arrive but discord has to come to his senses and realize she’s not being sincere and feels bad so he leaves#ughhh#and then the fic was never updated again#I’m so close to taking the torch I can’t stop thinking about this#discord of tomorrow
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to be completely honest... i think so many problems that plague fandoms would be solved if people remembered the concept of headcanons and accepted it for what it is
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#life#just like.. the constant race to have the most 'correct' opinion#the running to devs/writers/VAs for validation#the constant infighting over how one interprets a character#the need to find 'proof' no matter what to support your opinion#sometimes it ain't that deep lmao#it's ok to hc things that are literally so out there it's never touching canon whatsoever#strip away the cringe of crack stuff#sure not to be confused with meta posts and analyses but like#i feel like we've gotten to the point where those two concepts got conflated#and people write enormously long posts with 'evidence' to support what is essentially still a HC#at the end of the day#this is not prompted by anything specific#just me being in fandoms and observing for years
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Watching Eddie Begins with Buddie-colored glasses on is already crazy enough, but I just caught something that I never really thought about before. Athena tells Bobby that the news crews showing up before she leaves for another call might turn the call into a nationwide story. And then Buck absolutely LOSES it when 30 feet of wet earth falls on top of Eddie. So yeah, maybe Bobby pulls Buck away to stop him from futilely digging for Eddie with his hands, but maybe he also does it because he doesn’t want his kid’s grief and fear and love for Eddie being broadcast across the country. Especially not when Bobby thinks that Eddie’s probably already dead. And not only does Bobby pull Buck away from the well, he pulls back right into his lap. This is the closest we get to Bobby cradling Buck in his arms until the lightning strike, and it’s because he doesn’t want Buck to be in pain, and he most certainly does NOT want the tragedy of Eddie’s death to be made even worse by Buck’s pain over it being broadcast to the entire country.
#bobby is buck's dad#911#9-1-1#911 abc#9-1-1 abc#buddie#bobby nash#eddie diaz#evan buckley#athena grant#also#just because I’ve never really posted meta about Eddie begins before#we REALLY need to talk about the fact that Buck’s reaction to Eddie’s potential demise is the ONLY reaction show live and in color#season 3 buddie was NOT subtle in the slightest y’all#I know there’s so many fics out there about Eddie finding a video of Buck’s reaction to him being trapped but I want one where he watches#and is ALSO so fucking grateful for Bobby pulling Buck away from where he was buried#for taking care of his partner when he wasn’t topside to do it himself#that still of Bobby and eddie talking for s7 reallyyyy has me in my feels about these three men and their incredible dynamic#well scene#you will always be famous#fuck the writers for this actually#(affectionate)
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Descendants: The Rise of Red is kind of a bizarre movie to talk about critically because, imo, it almost doesn't make sense to talk about it in the usual terms of good vs bad or enjoyable vs not enjoyable when the way more obvious tension is finished vs unfinished.
Because, more than any other movie I've ever seen, it does *not* read as a full movie. And I don't mean in a "this movie has a cliffhanger" kind of way. The Empire Strikes Back and Across the Spiderverse fit that description. They end on big dramatic cliffhangers that point to a resolution in the third installment.
But Rise of Red just sets all this stuff up and then...ends without concluding anything. It doesn't feel like the first movie in a trilogy (or duology). It feels like the first act of a two-act musical. It very specifically reminds me of the end of the first act of Into the Woods where all the main characters sing the song Ever After about how they all fixed their problems with magic and nothing bad will ever happen to them again and then the narrator ominously says "To be continued" before the curtain drops. But in Into the Woods you know there's a second act and this movie wasn't sold as the first act of a bigger story. Like sure, it has the, "You didn't think this was the end" tag at the end like all the other movies, but those movies were complete, self-contained stories even though they had sequels. This was NOT a full story. It's half of one story.
Like, if we're supposed to take this as a full story, there are so many bizarre choices:
Why did they make sure to mention that Cinderella and Charming fell in love at the ball at the top if it wasn't meant to set up Back to the Future style, "Oh no, I accidentally got my mom banned from the ball so she's not gonna fall in love with Dad and I won't be born" shenanigans?
Why did Maddox very pointedly have that bit about "you could lose your mom completely" if that was never going to come into play? Red never did anything to endanger Bridget or endanger her own birth so it doesn't make sense as a warning in that way.
Why was there all this focus on this Carrie on prom night moment for Bridget if we LITERALLY NEVER SAW CASTLECOMING? Why dance around this moment and talk about it all cloak and dagger with no specificity if they weren't building up to some big reveal that it wasn't as straightforward as it seemed? And like, they leaned in HARD with making Bridget the nicest, sweetest, cotton candy princess as a teen so I need WAY more than, "She got pranked by known bullies she's been enduring with a smile very handily up to this point" to buy that she went from that to "murderous dictator". And even if she did become murderous, I find it insanely hard to believe that she'd include her best and only friend on the list of people she wants to suffer unless there was a betrayal. I find it INSANE that there wasn't a falling out scene at any point in this movie with how thickly they were laying on the admiration and camaraderie.
(Note: And adult Cinderella def has guilty vibes re: the Queen at orientation. Which I know I'm not imagining because it's literally spelled out in the Jr Novelization!)
Before the time travel element of the movie started, I thought they were going for something like they go to the past and realize that Bridget was bullied not by the VKs but by the spoiled royals, and Ella ends up joining in the bullying once she gets with Charming, betraying Bridget and justifying her whole "Love Ain't It" philosophy. Or Ella ditching her at the last minute to be with Charming meaning she has to deal with the monster prank alone and it was the being alone rather than the prank itself that hurt her (though that is NOT a good enough reason to go all off with their heads on your subjects). The fact that, as far as we know right now, it literally was just a relatively mild and reversible prank that caused all of this is just, such flat storytelling, you know?
But! All of this makes way more sense if this is meant to be the first act of a single contained story. And I don't wanna be all "Pepe Silvia, secret good 4th episode of Sherlock" about this but I did see this picture:
Which seems to indicate that this was written as a Part One. Which, if so, idk why they wouldn't advertise it that way but whatever. The point is, if that's the case then it means that we're potentially in bad pacing territory rather than straight up bad storytelling territory. Because this isn't a bad place to be halfway through your story:
The heroes, warned that time travel is dangerous, have gone back in time to change the heart of a brutal tyrant before she can stage a coup. They seemingly succeed in their mission and when they come home, everything is great! But then, the side effects of time travel start to catch up with them. Chloe realizes that, in breaking the vase, she prevented her mother from going to the ball and falling in love with her dad (who was conspicuously absent from the final scene btw) which means she's starting to be forgotten and erased from the timeline. And Red realizes that though this new version of her mom is as sweet and kind as the teen she once met, she's a complete stranger to her (fulfilling the Hatter's warning that she could lose her mom completely). So they have to go back in time once more to make sure the Ella and Charming fall in love again, perhaps at the cost of whatever bad thing that happened to Bridget happening again and bringing back the original version of her future self. But, now with more context of how her mom became that way, Red can now talk to her mother and persuade her to give people another chance.
Boom, that gives us time to go back and hit everything we haven't yet hit. We can pay off the time travel tropes that were set up but not explored. We can go to Castlecoming which feels so obviously set up to be the centerpiece of this story (like, come on, Back to the Future literally does the school dance thing. This is Time Travel Storytelling 101). We can actually get info about what the prank was and why it affected Bridget so completely.
(Note: This is a side thing but it really strikes me as so crazy that Bridget would so SUCH a big 180 here. Like, I know the Queen of Hearts is a silly, goofy, campy villain, but she straight up murders people and there's no way to get around that if we're taking her out of the surreal story she comes from and putting her in a (comparatively) grounded story. If I wasn't doing a betrayal plot, I would make the twist that the spell that turned Bridget into a "monster" didn't just have a physical effect, it had a mental effect and it magically twisted her personality to be the way it is now. So they broke the physical half of the curse, but neglected the other half and it's been festering the whole time, turning her as evil as she was sweet. Because like, a simple physical transformation isn't that big of a deal to have such heavy security--Bridget made cupcakes with a transformative effect and that was totally fine. I'm not saying that that's what's gonna be the case. I just think it would be an explanation that makes sense for why she changed so crazy much that makes more sense than a simple prank or even a betrayal. Her mom wasn't even evil! How did she go from zero to murder without even an evil mom to push her onto the path? But I'm super digressing right now.)
(Note #2: OK, one last thing. The trap on the book presumably would have hit the VK's and trapped them in Merlin's office regardless of what Chloe and Red did, right? That's like, net zero influence on the timeline. I genuinely can't tell if that's a straight up plot hole or set up to be like, "Oh no. Actually when she said that she was turned into a monster in front of everyone it was meant in a less literal way." Like she was just made to look bad and that was the real thing that pushed her over the edge. Like idk. It really feels like the only thing they really did that would change the timeline was get Ella banned from the dance and presumably out of the way where she couldn't hurt Bridget. OK NOW I'm done.)
Anyway, my point is that this is not how I would have structured my movie and I think this was a super weird way to go into the second era of Descendants movies, but they can still tell a complete story if that's their plan. I'm genuinely really curious to see if this pans out to be a fairly competently told story that just happens to be split over two movies or a complete fumbling of the narrative bag because it could really be either at this point and it's fascinating to me.
#rise of red#descendants#descendants rise of red#descendants the rise of red#i have never seen a dcom paced like this#uma DOES say that messing with time has consequences which gives me a glimmer of hope that they're going for a 'we have to go back' thing#but idk I've stopped assuming that writers know that they're doing#if I was ending this movie on this note here's how I'd do it#I'd have it end the same but when red and her mom are dancing I'd have one lingering shot of her being a little uneasy#and uncomfortable with this new version of her mom#and I would show chloe happily reuniting with her mom but then pan over to another part of the room and show that like#a portrait or s/t that had charming in it before now just has ella#or maybe something more subtle like something he placed on a table or something earlier in the movie isn't there anymore#just a little thing to be like 'don't worry we know what we're doing'#that would give me a lot more confidence#I was so sure that Chloe was gonna find Cinderella and she was gonna turn around and be like 'who are you?'#*that's* how you do a cliffhanger#and then in the next movie we could have had the tension of 'yeah we saved your mom from being evil but now mine doesn't know I exist'#listen there's a lot of ways they can handle this#they just need to pick literally any of them#last thing:#in the Jr. Novelization#the line is that the prank turned her into a *giant* during the dance#not a monster#i wonder if the giant prank was an 'eat me/drink me' wonderland ref before it was changed#also there is a world where they changed it from giant to monster bc they wanted to do s/t with the monster body/monster personality thing#but that is TOTALLY veering into pepe silvia/secret good episode or sherlock territory lmao#for the record I did not buy it I checked it out from the library#I'm not above buying jr novelizations (i happily own the disenchanted one)#but I'm not into descendants like that
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not to be tmi about it, but once upon a time life presented me the opportunity to have a fiery romance with my favorite journalist with whom i have a 25 yr age gap and who is a dilf
#— ai rambles#who is also a writer and now he’s a politician LOL#he’s not what you consider objectively attractive but i was in love with his brain#back then he also worked in the radio so i listened to him and read everything religiously#i admired him so much….#and i ended up sending him a friend request on FB lmao#which he accepted I WAS SHOOK#i was in uni back then 1st year ended it was summer break into my 2nd year#he texted me….and i couldn’t believe it like the man i’ve admired for so long is talking to me??????#so we slowly started texting every day….until at some point he was sending me books by mail for me to read#we were talking about meeting when i got back to [redacted] where my uni is and where i live now#bc during summer breaks i was usually at my parents house in my hometown#but i chickened out guys bc 1) the age gap scared me i was like super young okay#and 2) i wasn’t sure if he wasn’t with the woman he had kids from#men can say anything to you and you should never trust them 🤞#i did a hardcore research on the internet all fbi mode to find out about any possible clues that might hint at him still being#involved with her but i couldn’t find anything bc he’s super private about his life 💔#i slowly distanced myself from him bc what if they were still together#i didn’t want to be a homewrecker#i can be anything but i’ll never be that#i just had my doubts and suspicions and i am glad i bailed like that bc now that woman is listed as his partner when you search him up#which ofc doesn’t mean they were together all along maybe they separated and got back together#but feels like i dodged a bullet LOL#he still likes my posts on FB though and by posts i mean my photos i share from ig#but yea LOL#idk why i was suddenly reminded of him#maybe he’s thinking about me too LMAO
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If there's one thing the Jurassic World franchise was going to do while on Isla Nublar, it was going to be to anticipate the audience's Dumb Nitpicks and address them preemptively.
#sammy gutierrez#jurassic world#camp cretaceous#why don't the kids just send up a smoke signal?#or spell out messages for help?#CAN'T DO IT HERE#it's their dedication to that bit that makes me love the nublar arcs of the franchise#people can whine and complain and 99% of the time there's an answer built into the story#and this is also why I love writers' rooms#because you can tell that they were pitching every single way the kids could get off the island#and then finding ways to shoot them down#you know we never got episodes where they went to the boathouse#and we got the episodes where they look for gas#they looked for a helicopter#they did everything
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No no ikr. The ENT fandom is so quiet around here. And honestly I'm just excited to see art of my favourite dudes, because we rarely get fanart around here, and when we do it's usually Trip or T'Pol solely. Malcolm gets left in the dust quite a lot so I'm happy you drew him as well - and so well done too!
Anyway, ramble over, lol.
OMG... Well I think I can see why a lot of fanart is of Trip and/or T'pol (those two seem like they're doing some heavy lifting for the show/are just a lot of people's faves. I've got a few half baked ideas in mind for them myself.) but the rest of the crew as a whole do deserve more love I think! :]
#(I'm hijacking this ask to talk about some ENT thoughts in the tags LMAO sorry 😭🙏)#I've been watching it for the first time with some friends who are also watching it for the first time with me like 90% of the time.#When Reed was introduced we did our silly little “omg. why is he british 😰” jokes but personally-#he has grown on me a lot. Very much my type of character so far I think... :]#ive got a few sketches involving him that wont see the light of day because they require five levels of inside jokes from my watch party 😭#but god. for the most part I like all the main crew characters#the only one I'm not 100% on is archer and i dont even know how to articulate why.#like I don't HATE him. but he is also very fun to dunk on.#and i enjoy scott bakula very much. its crazy how like. not intriguing or charming I find his depiction of archer mmmmmost of the time#which sucks bc i KNOW it could be awesome. but its not really there for me yet.... oh well.#but god. i wish i could go back in time and force some improvements into the way the show was handled.....#my list of demands. quit the excessive sexualisation of t'pol and hoshi. can we PLEASE stop underutilising mayweather. and honestly-#i think a bit more dramatic visual variety between the main human cast would help a bit#now its time to end MY ramble yet again 😭 i feel like if i talk about ent for too long i'll inevitably start complaining-#despite me still having a mostly enjoyable time... all that stuff just really feels kicked up to 11 compared to previous treks tho 😔#but its only bc i care 💔 i see so much potential where the writers really borked their shit#telegraff#themurdochmemesteries#i might get around to a few more doodles or meme redraws but i can never guarantee anything when I have a whole queue of stuff-#that needs to be done before I can draw whatever I want. but by god. the ideas and concept drafts are there. 💪💪💪😤#:] <3
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My Good Omens fanfictions are kicking off. Or, should I say, Lady Crowley is. In one of the stories, she was supposed to end up with Hastur. No, she decided she wants to be with Michael.
I guess, I'll need to come up with a seperate F!Crowley x Hastur storyline, because I'm not letting go of that ship.
F!Crowley x Michael... I like the sound of that. I really do.
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Has happened to all of us, hasn't it? Your superior in the military waltzes in, and seduces the love of your life. Not to mention, that's his pregnant girlfriend, and when he finds out, it's too late.
Whatever, Calla Crowley can still end up an astronomy-obsessed, equestrian pastel goth, if General of the Heavenly Host is her stepmother.
I must say... In one story she's with Satan, in the other she'll be with Michael... Lady Crowley, honey, you keep pulling the Olympians. Good for you.
P.S. - I don't know how accurately to Good Omens I'll portray Michael, since I haven't seen season 2, and it doesn't matter. I have a very particular way I like to see the figure. Honestly, if she isn't the General, and the leader of angels in Good Omens, it's a crime. Because, if she is, why haven't I seen her in armour/uniform in any of the screencaps?.. Either way, her version I intend to paint is amazing.
#diary pages#writing journal#fanfiction writer#good omens#good omens fanfiction#good omens fandom#crowley#lady crowley#fem!crowley#archangel michael#crowley x michael#f!crowley x michael#aziraphale#he gets jilted an i find it hilarious - my mom got on my case for being mean but I don't like that#crowley x hastur#calla crowley#because she gets mentioned here#seriously i don't plan on watching s2 and the screencaps of michael i've seen don't seem like what i want to see for the figure#i... might be attached to his particular angel and have a very particular way I like to see her (or him) portrayed#it's one of these times I don't pay much attention to canon and just do what i want#i pull the portrayal of heaven and hell far more to my preferences also#like i always say i have a love-hate relationship with this universe#i don't even know what drew these two to each other something just did#i have plenty of scenes in mind many of them really really hot#i guess lady crowley wants some f/f action#michael is the angel lover i could never see aziraphale being#i even envision a scene where crowley gets burned by holy water and michael figures out the body swap but is more worried about crowley#for some reason crowley being pregnant when they fall in love is so endearing to me - michael just feels for her unconditionally#seriously she's so fierce and protective in her love#snake crowley just being wrapped around her suggests some hilarious scenes... or hot if it's in the bedroom
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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Ask Game!
25 & 29
25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?
I don't remember feeling upset as I wrote something. At least not yet. My writing actually helps me process things and deal with feelings. I tend to write happy endings but if somehow I end up writing a fic that doesn't, then maybe I'll be upset. If I manage to write about widower arc Dean one day, I'll probably be upsed, maybe that's why I don't write about him (yet).
29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)
It's a fic that happens after 8x22, one chapter is actually a fic I read and inspired me to write more about it and then it turned into something with more than 40k words. It was one of the first fic I wrote. I was experimenting my writing actually and words just kept flowing at me. I was just trying, okay? I just finished the show I had to let this all out and I was exploring their relationship. Anyway, don't judge me please. The scene I'm sharing with you happens in Dean's room at the bunker, there you go:
“Cas, what are you doing here?” Dean asks frowning, clearly still mad at Castiel’s reaction toward the flirty waitress. Castiel stands up and presses play on the stereo to start the song “The Rain Song” from Led Zeppelin. Dean looks at the stereo with his eyebrows still frowning, not understanding what is happening, since Castiel doesn’t answer his question.
“I need to tell you something, Dean.” Castiel starts smiling, walking toward Dean, while Dean just stands there, where he is looking at him. “I know you like this band and this song. This is why I chose it. And I know you know the lyrics but please listen to them. You will understand what I want to tell you.” Dean tilts his head and parts his lips, surprised. Even though, he doesn’t remember all the lyrics, not remembering every exact word, he knows what it is about. Plus, with the worry face Castiel makes, Dean understands what is happening. This is scaring the hell out of him but it is happening and he can’t stop it, he doesn’t really want to anyway. So, he smiles at him.
“Cas” he starts, wanting to apologize for doubting him with the waitress, but Castiel stops him instantly.
“Listen, Dean.” During the first lyrics, Castiel comes closer to Dean and extend one hand toward him. “I would like to dance with you,” Castiel offers. Dean hesitates while staring at him and puts his hand in Castiel’s. Both smiles as they lean in at the same time. Dean removes his hand from Castiel’s and puts his hands on his lower back, while Castiel puts his arms around Dean’s neck. When the first lyrics are sang, he rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder, while they dance slowly together.
“Listen,” he tells Dean again, whispering in his ear.
It is the springtime of my loving
The second season I am to know
You are the sunlight in my growing
So little warmth I've felt before
It isn't hard to feel me glowing
I watched the fire that grew so low, oooh, oh
“You helped me grow. You changed me, Dean.” Castiel starts when the first lyrics are over and only the melody stays, moving back his head to stare into Dean’s eyes while he cups his head with his hands. “You taught me so many things, you taught me how to feel. You taught me about free will. And I believed in it, I have faith in it, I have faith in you. I would do anything for you. I would die for you. I never used you, Dean. I never will.” Castiel says finally calling back to what happened in Dean’s first fantasy.
“Cas –“ Dean starts, swallowing his tears. “I know that now. I should have never doubted you, I’m sorry.” Dean says lowering his gaze, but Castiel lifts his head up a little bit, already missing looking into his eyes. Dean’s eyes are back staring at Castiel’s blue.
“And I’m sorry I gave you some reasons to believe I would do this to you.” Castiel’s eyes starts to be fill with tears too.
“You didn’t Cas, it’s not you. It’s me. I always think people will leave me.”
“I never will, Dean. I couldn’t. You hear me? I always come back to you at some point. When you told me that we were family, that you needed me in that crypt. You broke the hold Naomi had on me, Dean. Don’t you understand? I can’t stay away from you for too long. If I do it’s because I have no other choice and it’s to keep you safe.” Castiel’s heart is racing, carried away by the emotions invading him.
“You had a choice in Purgatory, and you chose to stay. You chose to let me leave without you.” Dean throws, remembering how hurt he felt at the time, when Castiel showed him what really happened at the gate, he even altered his own memories to avoid knowing Castiel’s left him on purpose.
“It was different I was feeling so much guilt about the Leviathans, about what I did to people, to angels and to you. I didn’t deserve to go out with you. I didn’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you.”
“You do, Cas. I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you. I always get angry and end up hurting people I care about. Hurting you.”
“It’s not true. You are not like that. Not at all. You see yourself how our enemies sees you but they are all wrong, you too. And you do, Dean. Deserve me.” Castiel says resting his head again on Dean’s shoulder, with his face buried in his neck this time. “Now, let’s dance slowly again. I like doing that with you. And listen to the song.” Castiel smiles against Dean’s neck.
It is the summer of my smiles
Flee from me, keepers of the gloom
Speak to me only with your eyes
It is to you I give this tune
Ain't so hard to recognize, oh
These things are clear to all from time to time, ooh
Oh, oh
“You are not like you said you are, Dean. When I look into your eyes, and after all these years, all I see is the most caring human in the whole world looking back at me. You care about people, ready to risk your own life to save them. You saved the world so many times. You saved ME too.” Castiel says moving his head back again to stare into Dean’s eyes, showing how much he deeply thinks what he is telling him.
Ah, talk, talk, talk, talk
Hey!
I've felt the coldness of my winter
I never thought it would ever go
I cursed the gloom that set upon us, upon us, upon us
But I know that I love you so, ohhhh, oh
But I know that I love you so
These are the seasons of emotion
And like the wind, they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion
I see the torch we all must hold
This is the mystery of the quotient, quotient
Ah, upon us all, upon us all a little rain must fall
Just a little rain, oh yeah
Uhh, ooooh, yeah yeah yeah
Castiel pulls back for the third time to look at Dean again. Dean is used to it now and he knows it means Castiel still has something to tell him. “We have been through so much together, you and me. Despite or thanks to all that, today I am able to say that –“ Castiel stops taking a deep breath to put all he feels in three little words as much as possible. “I love you”. He finally confesses, letting a tear run down his cheek. Dean swallows hard and wipes it with his thumb. He guessed what Castiel wanting to tell him, knowing the song, but he needed to be sure, he needed to hear what he had to say and he needed to hear that he loves him.
“I love you too, Cas.” Dean grabs Castiel’s neck with one hand and pulls him closer. He brushes their lips together, a desperate and passionate kiss, saying ‘I love you’ in another way again. Dean is overwhelmed by Castiel’s love and kiss, not controlling what is getting out of his mouth, his emotions, his feelings for him are getting the upper hand. “My mom used to tell me that angels were watching over me. I couldn’t believe her anymore when she died. But then, I met you Cas. And you gave me faith again. You always took care of me. You always watch over me, even when I sleep.” Dean chuckles and continues his speech, more seriously, putting his heart out. “Then, I fell in love with you as I never did before. I didn’t believe I could love someone like I love you. Cas, you are the light in my life, never think otherwise. You are my angel, you always have been.” Castiel smiles fondly at Dean’s confession, feeling his heart exploding in his chest, wanting to go out of it.
“I’m all yours and you are all mine.” Castiel declares with some lust replacing the happy tears in his eyes. “The song is already finished.” Castiel observes, looking at the stereo disappointed, while the music has ended a few minutes ago, but they were too focus on each other to notice.
“The song last more than 7 minutes, Cas.” Dean reminds him, chuckling, despite he didn’t notice when it ended either.
“I know, but it’s not enough. I like dancing with you, holding you in my arms.”
“I agree, I like it too.” Dean declares smiling fondly, stroking Castiel’s jaw with one hand.
“We should do that again some time.”
#thank you for the ask#ask game#one of my first fic#just a bit of it#it's difficult to understand with the context before I guess but it's still cute anyway#I'll probably never post it#there's a lot of smut in there#one chapter is not from me#they're also pretty out of character#but I guessed I needed to write it to let it all out#to try how was my writing too because I never wrote anything before#there's a zeppelin song in it#the rain song#it was hard to find one with a slow rhythm so they could dance#one where they could talk between lyrics#I noted the timestamp between them and timed how much time the lines should take for them to say so it could fit#and also with lyrics that matched their relationship in the fic#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#castiel#writing fanfiction#ao3 writer#I wasn't one at the time#I was just writing for myself#my destiel fanfic#emms answers
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someone tell me how to enjoy smaus
#zanna speaks ❀˖°#I want to appreciate them#and like I understand just how much work goes into them#so I have huge respect for any smau writer#but whenever I find one to read#I literally click through 2 chapters at most and get tired of it#2 chapters is a high actually I’m lucky enough to make it through the profiles#and I don’t know why#maybe cause the humour feels dumb or keeping up with all the chat messages gets tiring#but I can never get invested in a smau the way I get invested in a long fic or a real book#it feels too close to real life where everything is online and chat messages#and I crave escapism 😭😭#like reading a fic where yn has irl friends I’m like WOAH where to buy yk#but yn having a whole group chat online in a smau yeah that mirrors my life a bit too much#I also feel like I miss the creativity and art that you can feel from a written fic#the descriptions and emotion that you can understand from words#that you just can’t as much from text messages and memes#but it sucks for me as well cause I rly wanna support smaus but then I personally just get so bored of them so fast#like it’s not the authors fault it’s just me cause I don’t like smaus at all
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do not even talk to me about any "my fav is doomed by the narrative" shit unless u witnessed the Sylvanas Incident of 2018-2022 because that was my final straw
#infodump in tags#not even the narrative. she was doomed by the narraTORS#Edge of Night is one of the most powerful and beautiful works ever added to the WoW canon.#and then it got retconned for alien lava worms. all because we needed a way to get to the shadowlands.#a truly morally gray character turned into this weird poster figure for some antagonistic force the writers werent sure how to handle yet#i am actively exploring the reality where EoN is still canon and she never became warchief#i miss her bickering with garrosh it was such interesting tension for the horde and also was a very interesting way to characterize her#like how she stuck up for kul tirans and didnt approve of the theramore attack but still did everything she did to gilneas#THAT was some REAL ethically questionable shit that i will actually find interesting.#not whatever the fuck bfa/sl was.#she makes me so sad.#warcraft#sylvanas windrunner
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You probably already talked about her but I can't find it, so can I ask if you have opinions/ideas around Orin? It's so rare to find other who like her!
I am always down to talk about Orin, thank you anon!!
Basically I think the durge storyline accidentally creates this theme of female abuse victims, but is too cowardly/too ttrpg-space misogynistic to actually handle it (see tag rant). Repeated cycles of abuse is an overall theme in BG3, but with all the Durge’s victims being women, and with Orin and Helena both being abused by Sarevok—there is this pattern that comes up. You can see this echoed with how Ketheric feels entitled to abusing Isobel as well.
There have been a lot of posts going around talking about how tragic Orin is in that Durge gets a chance at redemption because of her, but she never gets that same chance—that tragedy is definitely compelling. But I don’t know. I really like writing angry women. And Orin’s storyline shearing away from how gendered her victimization is, not giving her more than a breath of acknowledging her abuse, not letting you be angry on her behalf—that makes writing for her, to fill in those gaps and explore those parts of her character, really attractive to me.
Anyway. BG3 stuck some fridged ladies and crazy-incest-bitches in its story because those are high fantasy tropes and they didn’t want to actually address the sexism in them. I think with a female Durge especially, you can make a nice and angry revenge story for Orin from all that. I see some of that stuff in this fandom & it inspires me to make fanworks too. She's that sweet spot of compelling enough in source material for her to be interesting and defined, but with blank spaces in her story that are just dying for transformative fandom.
Also I’m a sucker for villains who are friends with each other, and none of my other most recent fandoms have given me a villain roster that I could really hc into that. Also she has done nothing wrong in her life, ever.
#seriously like scleritas has a line where if you say you’re not killing any more innocent girls#he goes ‘oh i’ll find some other genders for you!’ & that’s it#so like. they saw they were fridging. they just decided lampshading it made it okay#i see ppl talk abt things w this game like this & gale's shit & say the writers were ~subverting it#man i’ve played a lot of dnd w a lot of dudes who never shut up abt how into the scene they are#& they will regurgitate these exact misogynistic beats wo batting an eye#so no. i think bg3 is the ultimate dnd video game#& unfortunately you see that in the misogyny present in it as much as you do the heroics & randomness#anyway. anon if you want to talk about her more feel free to dm me as well!#asks#orig
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